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#marauders era imagine
thyme-in-a-bubble · 10 months
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hi ! i just wanted to say i love love your writing and i was wondering if you could write something for roomate!sirius black, where the reader just hooked up but she didn't finish, so sirius comes in after he leaves and does the job for her ? like he just cares about her and when she finishes and when she goes to 'repay' him back, he declines politely before leaving 😫😫
a/n: oh, you know, just two roomies being roomies, doing roomie stuff, nothing to see here
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In your grumpy attempt to take care of business yourself, it truly felt like you’d never get there. Maybe it was the bummer of how your date had turned out or maybe you were just exceptionally exhausted, but you were making no headway. Then out of nowhere, your door was ripped open. 
“I can’t take this,” your roommate uttered heatedly before marching towards where you laid sprawled out on your bed, effectively scaring your hand away from its lewd mission beneath your fluffy duvet. 
“Sirius! What are-,” you nervously adjusted your covers to hide more of your naked form, the intense look in his eye shooting directly to your core, “what are you doing in here?” 
Crawling onto the foot of the bed, he sighed, “please just let me take care of you,” his fingers gripping onto the bottom of your duvet. 
Blinking hard, you squeeze your thighs together, “excuse me? What do you mean-” you suddenly yelped as he tore off the covers, “Sirius! What are you-”
“Oh, just skip over the bullshit, I don’t have time for you to pretend that there isn’t anything going on between us. So please just let me eat you out. Let me help you fall asleep, give you something good, just a fraction of what you deserve, what that asshat of a date couldn’t give you. Please, Y/n. Just let me take care of you.”
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© 2023 thyme-in-a-bubble 
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ro-is-struggling · 1 year
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Drunken Confessions || Sirius Black x Reader {Marauders Era}
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Summary: You and Sirius always had feelings for each other but you kept it a secret because you two didn't get along. That is until you start dating an exchange student from Ilvermorny. Sirius can't stand seeing you two together all the time so one day he decides he's had enough and confesses his feelings to you under the influence of alcohol.
Warnings: angst (with happy ending), slow burn, unrequited love (but actually mutual pining), kinda enemies to lovers, cheating I guess (the reader is in love with Sirius while dating another guy), mentions of Snape being a jerk to the reader and Lily for being muggleborns, mentions of Jily, Modern AU (so they can have phones to make the prompt make sense), love confessions, fluff, Fem!Gryffindor!Reader
English is not my first language
Word count: 6500
Notes: Basen on a request with the prompt 7 from my 600 Followers Celebration Prompt List
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Sirius was watching you from his place at the Gryffindor table lost in thought. You were with him again. Ever since the Ilvermorny exchange students had arrived you hadn't left the side of this Ben guy and he couldn't take it anymore. Everywhere you went he was by your side, holding your hand, carrying your books, lending you his jacket when you got cold... doing all the things he wanted to do for you.
He knew that was impossible, you hated him and barely spoke to him in class, but his dreams didn't hurt anyone. Sirius knew you were polar opposites. You were introverted, quiet, rule-abiding, and popular for your kindness and general cheerfulness, the exact opposite of all the things his name was known for at school. You had never gotten along very well for those reasons, you always saw him as an incompetent buffoon —and you being friends with Snape didn't help his case—, but he had a crush on you from the first moment he saw you. And as much as he knew that a relationship between you was as likely to happen as Snape becoming funny, Sirius couldn't help but feel his insides bubbling with jealousy every time this Ben guy touched you. 
From what Sirius had heard, he was an old friend of yours who you hadn't seen for years after he moved back to America with his family. You were thrilled to have the opportunity to spend time with him after so long and it showed in the amount of time you spent together. Sirius could swear that there wasn't a moment of the day when he looked at you and Ben wasn't standing next to you. But no matter how much you insisted that you were just friends, he knew that was a lie. There was more than friendship in your eyes when you looked at each other and he hated it. 
He hated it because it meant he truly didn't have a chance with you. You weren't someone who enjoyed casual dating, so if you were in a relationship with Ben like he assumed that meant you really loved him. You were in love with Ben and Sirius could do nothing but admire your happiness from a distance while the bitterness of loneliness consumed his insides.
Of course he was never really alone, but none of the girls he dated from time to time compared to you. You were something special, a girl of singular beauty, the calm his troubled soul so desperately needed. But you were unobtainable for someone like him, so he had to learn to live with the knowledge that he could never hold your hand or feel your lips on his, something that became more difficult when he saw you walking through the halls of Hogwarts with Ben, knowing that he had everything he longed for. Sometimes Sirius wished he had never met you, he was sure that would be easier than forgetting you. 
"Are you ready, Black?" your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, forcing him back to reality. At some point you had approached him without him even noticing, looking at him with a raised eyebrow as you waited for him to react. He saw that you were carrying your potions book, holding it tightly against your chest, and then remembered that you had agreed to get together after class to work on a project you had been assigned - he still couldn't believe how unlucky he was to end up paired with you of all people. 
"Yeah, let's go" he muttered without paying much attention to his surroundings, getting up from the table and leaving his half-eaten plate of food behind.
It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining brightly in the sky, though it wasn't too hot thanks to the gentle breeze rustling the treetops. You wanted to take advantage of the nice weather, so you suggested going to the courtyard to work. Sirius agreed, thinking that the fresh air would help him stay calm by not being locked in a room with the sweet scent of your perfume attacking his nostrils. 
The potion you had to brew for Friday's class was a bit more complicated than you both expected. It had a long list of steps and instructions that had to be strictly followed for the final preparation to be perfect —like cutting the ingredients in a specific way and adding them at a specific time. It took you several attempts to come up with a potion that was decent even though you two were top Gryffindor students. And even after spending all afternoon working on it, you still weren't finished. There were still a couple of things to do before you could let the concoction rest for 24 hours as the recipe indicated and the sun was starting to set.
"It's getting late," you muttered as you threw some herbs into the mixture. Sirius was stirring the cauldron with a blank stare, lost in thought. It was something you noticed him doing a lot lately. You wondered what it was that could have him so distracted, though you couldn't bring yourself to ask him. You weren't the kind of people who talked without ending up fighting. "Do you think we'll ever finish this thing?" you joked to lighten the mood.
"Slughorn better give us a good grade after this."Sirius let out a chuckle, looking up to meet your gaze. 
"I hope so! Or I'll force it down his throat myself."
"I'll hold him down for you," he laughed, sparking a warm feeling inside you. You liked his laughter and knowing that you were the cause of it gave you a strange sense of pride. Not everyone could make the class clown laugh.
"I miss when Severus did all the work for me," you complained, grabbing the next ingredient for the potion. You, Lily and him used to do all the projects you could together, especially the potions ones. Severus was very good at the subject and far too controlling so most of the time he ended up doing everything himself because he couldn't stand it if you got something wrong. You didn't mind though, you liked learning through him, he was kind of grumpy but he was a good teacher when he wanted to be.
"Is it really bad between you, huh?" Sirius spoke in a soft tone, as if he was genuinely concerned about the big fight you'd had with one of your best friends. You were surprised by his interest given that he was the #1 Snape hater. You expected a sarcastic comment from him or a mocking remark, but instead he seemed genuinely interested in hearing you talk about your problems. It was kind of weird, you guys didn't usually share those kinds of moments, but you decided to give him a chance.
"Yeah, Lily and I are pretty sad about it, but we couldn't keep pretending... Severus changed, he's not the same guy I met on the train five years ago" you murmured, your voice muffled by sadness. It was hard to lose a friend and even harder to lose one the way you and Lily had lost Severus. The way he had treated you, the names he had called you, no friend would ever be able to be so cruel. "Or maybe he's more himself, I don't know anymore... I feel like I don't know him anymore. Maybe I never did."
Sirius felt pure hatred coursing through his veins as he saw the sadness in your eyes. He wanted to kill Snape for daring to make you suffer by calling you that derogatory word. He always knew Snivellus was an idiot, but he had outdone himself by hurting you and Lily like that. You were two of the sweetest, kindest people he had ever met and Snape had been lucky enough to call you his friends. Sirius couldn't believe how he had been such an idiot to lose you two when you were the best thing that had ever happened to him in his miserable, boring life. He would regret that for the rest of his days, Sirius was sure of it.
"I'm sorry," Sirius said with sincerity in his voice. The hand that wasn't stirring the cauldron hovered over yours for a few seconds, trying to decide whether it was appropriate to touch you or not. 
You weren't friends so physical contact was a rare thing for you. You didn't even hug occasionally to celebrate Gryffindor's victory in a Quidditch match —in fact, you were lucky if you talked for more than five minutes without arguing—, so he wasn't sure how you would react. But on second thought, you also didn't share intimate moments like this one, filled with meaningful words about your feelings, so he decided to give it a shot.
You looked up to stare at him when you felt the warmth of his hand on yours. The contact awakened a wave of electricity in your body, the skin on your hand tingling under his touch. It was something you had never felt before and it did nothing but raise doubts and confusion in your mind. 
"I mean, I know Snape and I have our differences and I don't like him, but still I'm sorry about what happened. He was your friend and it sucks that everything ended this way." You were surprised by the kindness in Sirius' voice. He sounded genuinely sorry for what had happened and not at all smug at being the one who had warned you of his bad side all these years. Was this a sign that he was finally maturing? 
"Yeah, I'm sorry too," you sighed, shrugging. "But you're not the one that should be apologizing. I mean, you warned me about him, I just... I couldn't see it. I didn't want to see it. It kinda sucks to learn that your friend hates you for being born, I guess."
"You shouldn't listen to him. Having Lily and you as friends was the best thing that could have happened to him and he's a fucking idiot for not seeing that." Sirius tightened his grip on your hand as a sign of support and you smiled at him, feeling the warmth invade your insides once more. It was a comfortable warmth, a feeling that made you feel safe.
"You're a brilliant witch and you should never let anyone tell you otherwise."
"Thank you, Sirius. I kinda needed to hear that." After all you had been through —having to listen to someone so close to you belittle you for being a Muggle-born wizard— you had fallen into the trap of doubting your abilities. But hearing a wizard as talented as Sirius praise you like that made you feel better. "Look at us! Who would have thought that we were capable of having a normal conversation?" you laughed and he followed suit.
"It's what I've been trying to tell you all these years!" You shared a laugh that felt all too genuine. For the first time since you had known each other you were having a good time together. However, the fun was interrupted by Ben's voice calling your name in the distance.
“There you are! I've been looking for you all day,” he said with an innocent smile. You removed your hand from under Sirius' quickly, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by either boy. 
"I'm sorry! We're doing our potions homework and it is taking a bit longer than we thought it would" you explained to Ben, suddenly nervous. You had nothing to hide, you and Sirius were just doing your homework, so why was your stomach turning with nervousness? "We're almost done with the first part, so you can stay with us if you want" you offered. Ben was about to sit down with you, when Sirius' voice interrupted him.
"There's no need, I can finish the rest by myself," he assured you, trying hard to hide the bitterness in his voice. The last thing he wanted at that moment was to share space with Ben. You'd had such a nice evening, he'd rather take that and not have to put up with your public displays of affection. 
"Are you sure? I can help you. I mean, I want to. It's our project." You found it strange the way Sirius suddenly seemed to want to get rid of you. You thought you were having a good time together.
"Yes it's fine! Go have fun and I'll see you tomorrow after class to finish it."
You wanted to say something, to insist on staying to help him, but he seemed very determined to finish the first part of the preparation alone so you just nodded. You rose from your place and waved him goodbye, agreeing on a time to meet tomorrow before taking Ben's hand and walking towards the castle. As you walked away you couldn't help but wonder if you had done something wrong to make him angry. Though what stood out the most to you was how much his rejection seemed to affect you.
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The potions class the next day only stirred up more confusion within you, not because of the project - Professor Slughorn told you that you were on the right track when you showed him the state of your potion - but because of your feelings for Sirius. Among other potions of advanced difficulty, Professor Slughorn introduced the class to Amortentia, the most powerful love potion in existence. Everyone crowded around the professor's desk where the cauldron of steaming liquid rested, desperate to smell the steam rising in spirals and discover the scent of love. All except Lily and you, who stayed at the back of the room and only approached when the rest of the class began to disperse. 
There was something about the promise of discovering smells that attracted you even if you didn't know it that terrified you. You both knew very well what you might encounter because no matter how hard you tried to hide it, the feelings were there, but you didn't want to be confronted with the obvious confirmation that the scent of Amortentia would provide. If it were up to you, you would never have gone near that cauldron, but Professor Slughorn invited you when he saw that you were not moving and you could not refuse. So, letting out a sigh, you approached the desk and reluctantly smelled the potion.
The first aroma that attacked your nostrils was that of freshly brewed coffee, the only thing that could get you out of bed on cold mornings. Then the coffee morphed into the smell of parchment and old books that flooded the school library, where you spent most of your afternoons doing your homework. It was a scent you had come to love as you associated it with Hogwarts and the wonders of the magical world, a place that had become your second home and that you missed like crazy during the school breaks. 
You were happy with your experience with Amortentia, letting out a sigh of relief as you discovered that it evoked familiar and harmless smells for you, things you already knew you found pleasant. But just as you were walking away from the cauldron, the third smell attacked you. And this time it wasn't as harmless as the others. Far from it, it turned your world upside down.
You wished it was Ben's cologne or even the smell of his shampoo, anything to reassure you that you were doing the right thing by dating him. But the strong smell of musk and cigarettes that assaulted your nose was a loud and clear message: it was Sirius that your heart truly desired.
Lily looked just as horrified as you did when you returned to your seats, and despite the fact that neither of you mentioned the Amortentia for the rest of the day, you didn't have to talk about it to know what had happened. You knew each other well enough to know that the damn potion had only confirmed your greatest fears: you were in love with Sirius and she was in love with James.
Your mood was ruined after that potions class, your mind too preoccupied with finding another explanation for smelling Sirius' very essence in the Amortentia to concentrate on anything else. There was no way you could accept that you were in love with him. No. There had to be another explanation. You couldn't be in love with him. He was arrogant and annoying, always thinking he was smarter and funnier than he actually was. He was the complete opposite of you and there was no way you could be in love with him. Not when you had a kind and wonderful guy who loved and respected you by your side.
Ben was your friend, someone you had shared beautiful moments with. He understood you better than anyone and even though you hadn't seen each other for a couple of years, he hadn't changed at all. You had a special bond that had not faded with the passage of time. You two together made sense. He was probably the most appropriate guy for you in all of Hogwarts. So why couldn't you love him like he loved you?
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When you met Sirius at the agreed time and place you immediately noticed that the atmosphere was different from the previous day. Yesterday you had managed to create a pleasant working environment and even ended up sharing an intimate and meaningful moment that you would never have expected to have with him. But today there was nothing but tension in the air as you sat next to him, pulling your potions book out of your backpack to read the recipe for the thousandth time. You both seemed to be in a bad mood and the fact that your phone was ringing every five minutes with messages from Ben didn't help. 
"What's wrong with lover boy today? Can't he see that you're busy?" There was something about the annoyed, sarcastic tone in which Sirius said that that you didn't like. Maybe it was your bad mood exaggerating things, but he had no right to speak to you in that tone. 
"We're going on a date to Hogsmeade today and he's just making sure I remember it, that's all." you said through gritted teeth, thinking you didn't have to explain anything to him. 
"He sent you like a thousand texts already, does he think you're dumb or something?" Sirius couldn't explain what had gotten into him either. He assumed he still hadn't recovered from watching you leave with your boyfriend yesterday while he stayed behind. Having smelled your perfume on the Amortentia didn't help him either, especially since you kept reminding him that you weren't his and never would be. 
"No, he just misses me," you replied reluctantly, rolling your eyes.
You decided not to speak anymore after that in order to keep the peace between you, limiting yourself to opening your mouth only to talk about the potion you were brewing. However, you were both in such a bad mood that you ended up arguing about that as well, further delaying the process and damning yourselves to spend more time together. 
"Do you mind finishing it alone? It's getting late and I have to go get ready." you asked when you saw how late it was getting. You had less than half an hour to get ready for your date and meet the rest of the students going to Hogsmeade or you would miss the trip altogether.
"Actually, I do. This is your project too and I'm not going to do this all by myself." Sirius knew he was being irrational, looking for excuses to force you to stay with him. He didn't care that you were fighting as long as it meant you wouldn't go on your date with Ben. He was being selfish and he wasn't proud of it, but jealousy was getting the better of him.
"What?" The question sounded more like an exclamation of surprise, looking at Sirius with narrowed eyes as you tried to find some indication on his face that he was joking. When you found none, you let out a sigh of disbelief. Yesterday he hadn't hesitated to kick you out and now he was complaining about working alone? It didn't make any sense.
"What the hell is your problem today? Why are you acting like a jerk all of a sudden?"
"I have a problem?" Sirius laughed sarcastically. "And what about your little boyfriend? He's the one who can't seem to leave you alone for five minutes." It was obvious what Sirius' problem was at this point, but you were too annoyed to notice the jealousy in his voice.
"What does he have to do with anything?" Confusion was written all over your face, anger evident in your stiff posture and your arms crossed over your chest. What was his fucking problem?
"Nothing, he's a saint. He never does anything wrong" he muttered between his teeth, as if he was speaking more to himself than to you. But despite his low tone of voice, you heard him with perfect clarity.
"Why do you care so much about him?" You were tired of beating around the bush, you needed answers. You needed to hear him say what he really thought. You needed to know if behind his teasing and sarcastic remarks hid at least a hint of jealousy —if you weren't the only one who felt something.
Your eyes begged him for an honest answer, but Sirius didn't have the courage - or the composure - he needed to give it to you at that moment. "I don't care about him or you," he said instead. "You know what? Go with him, don't keep him waiting. I'll finish this later." 
Without another word, Sirius got up and gathered his things from the table, disappearing behind the door in a matter of seconds. You watched him walk away not knowing what to do or say, feeling the lump in your throat tighten to the point where you found it hard to breathe. 
He didn't care about you.
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"Okay, what's wrong with you?" Ben asked you after spending the last five minutes talking without an answer from you. It was obvious something was wrong with you, you had been distracted since you left the castle.
"What?" Looking up from the teacup in front of you, you met your boyfriend's worried gaze and your heart broke a little more. Why did everything have to be so complicated? You were in Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, the most romantic place in Hogsmeade accompanied by the most wonderful guy in the world and your mind was still thinking about Sirius. "Oh, nothing. I'm a little tired, that's all." You put on a smile, but Ben knew you too well to notice that it wasn't genuine. 
"C'mon! Something is bothering you, what is it?" he insisted and you answered his question immediately, not with words, but with your eyes.
Just as Ben stretched his hand across the table to rest it on yours, your eyes wandered to the store window. Among the people walking through the streets of Hogsmeade you were able to make out Sirius, who was walking by while holding hands with a Hufflepuff girl. Your expression changed immediately, sadness evident in your eyes as you made eye contact with the guy who didn't seem to want to leave your thoughts. He looked at you as he crossed the street, his eyes traveling to where your hand joined Ben's on the table. And then his eyes shifted to the girl laughing next to him, leaning down to give her a kiss on the cheek as they walked past you.
"It's him, isn't it?" Ben's voice managed to get your attention again and you turned to look at him. He knew, you could see it in his eyes. He knew your little secret.
“Huh?”
“Sirius. He’s the one you want.” The certainty in his voice made you feel like the worst human being in the history of mankind. He was sure of what he was saying, he had no doubt that he wasn't the one you really loved. 
"What? No! Sirius and I aren't even friends." You didn't know why you were lying, you knew Ben had figured you out. You supposed it was because you refused to admit your true feelings out loud. Saying it made it real, it stopped being a bunch of doubts and guesses that haunted your mind late at night and became the cruel and painful reality. You were not ready for that. "I have you, why would I want to be with anyone else?"
"I see the way you look at him when you think nobody is watching you." Ben stated and the smile on your face vanished. "If he's the one you truly want, then you should be with him."
"A relationship between us would never work, we are not compatible." You tried to sound casual, to hide your feelings in a joke, but your voice came out sour, revealing the truth of your heart. "I'm with you now! And you are infinitely better to me than he is. We actually get along."
"Maybe, but you don't love me like you love him." Ben was calm, too calm for anyone in the position he was in. He didn't sound angry or devastated. It was as if he'd had time to process the situation, as if he'd surrendered to the reality that confronted him every time you looked at Sirius a long time ago. He had already mourned your relationship and you wondered how long he had known about your true feelings —certainly longer than you had known yourself. 
"Ben, I-" you tried to speak, feeling the burn of tears building up in your eyes, but he interrupted you. 
"I get it, Y/N. It's not your fault. It's not anybody's fault. We can't choose who we fall in love with... and I can't force you to love me."
"But I do love you, Ben."
"I know you do, but not like I love you." The calm in his voice destroyed you. No matter how hard it was for you to admit it, he was right. You loved him, but as a friend. All this time you had tried so hard to make that change, trying to force your heart to forget Sirius, but it was simply impossible. And in the process you had ended up hurting one of the most important people in your life.
“And that’s fine, I’m not mad at you for not loving me.” Ben continued, giving you a small smile that did little to ease the pain in your heart. You were a horrible person and honestly he deserved someone better than you. "But I need you to be honest with me, because I value our friendship and I don't want to lose it too. So if you love him then say it and we'll break up right now. Maybe that way we can save our friendship."
You didn't see the point in continuing to lie. It was more than clear that you loved Ben very much, but your heart belonged to someone else. Continuing to deny it would only hurt you and him more and that was the last thing you wanted. Your deceptions had done enough damage, you didn't want to lose the beautiful bond that held you together - though there was no doubt that it wouldn't be the same after this.
"I'm sorry," you whispered in a broken voice as a couple of tears escaped your eyes. "I never meant for any of this to happen, I-"
"It's okay. Like I said, it's nobody's fault." Ben comforted you, taking your hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze. It was ironic that he was the one making you feel better when you had been the one to hurt him, but your mind was so full of conflicting thoughts and feelings that you weren't able to realize at the time how terrible it was.  "Now, what do you say we get out of here? I'll buy you anything you want from Honeydukes."
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The Hufflepuff party was exactly what Sirius needed at that moment. Loud music and lots of alcohol were the perfect combination to take his mind off you, at least for a few hours. He gave into the euphoria of the moment, losing himself in Amy's lips as they danced. It worked wonders for a while, but the more intoxicated he became, the harder it was for him to control his mind, which kept imagining that it was your hands caressing his body, your lips kissing him desperately, your hips grinding against his to the rhythm of the music, and not Amy’s. 
It became obvious that there was nothing he could do to get you out of his mind, so Sirius came up with a dumb excuse for Amy and disappeared into the sea of people before she could say a word back to him. He stumbled his way back to his dorm, cursing himself for drinking so much. Luckily he didn't run into anyone in the halls and was able to get to his bed in one piece. The room was empty since his friends were still at the party, so he had the privacy he needed to sink into his misery.
Why couldn't he be the one holding your hand while you enjoyed a date at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop? Sirius hated that place, it was too cheesy for him, but he hated even more to see you there with another guy. He should be the one taking you on dates around Hogsmeade and buying you gifts. He wanted to walk hand in hand with you and carry your books through the halls of the school. He wanted to be yours and for you to be his, why was that so hard? 
He should have said it a long time ago, maybe if he had been honest in the past his present would be different. Maybe he would be the one you would be texting every five minutes and not that idiot Ben.
Then an idea popped into his mind. It was a terrible one, but his brain was too intoxicated to realize what he was about to do. He fumbled in the dark for his phone, which was forgotten among the mess of sheets he called a bed. The brightness of the screen blinded him for a moment, hurting his sensitive eyes, but he managed to find your name in his contacts despite the difficulties.
'You up?' Typing that message took him longer than it should have, but he didn't care. He was determined to fix his mistakes and there was nothing that could make him change his mind. 
He waited a few minutes for a reply, but it never came. He figured that was normal since it was late at night. You weren't a party girl, so you were probably already asleep. However, Sirius didn't let that discourage him, opting to leave you a voicemail instead.
"I know you're probably sleeping right now, but I can't wait any longer to tell you this..." he began, pausing for a long moment as he tried to organize his thoughts. "I lied, I do care about you... I care about you and Ben being together cause... cause I should be in his place. I like you, Y/N, a lot actually, and seeing you with him is torture. And I know you're happy with him and that he's better than me, but... I just... I wish I was the one you loved, cause I love you and I'm tired of hiding it. I love you and I wish things could be different between us." 
Sirius sent the message before his brain recovered from his drinking enough to make him change his mind. It felt good to finally let go of years of pent up feelings, he felt as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. In the state he was in he wasn't able to realize what a mess his confession could create, so he rolled over in bed and in a matter of minutes he was asleep, safe in the calm that ignorance gave him.
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Sirius' deep, raspy voice was the first thing you heard on the cloudy Saturday morning. You were the last of all your roommates to wake up, probably because you spent the night tossing and turning in bed as you reviewed the events of the day. You didn't feel like leaving the bed yet, so you curled up between the sheets and grabbed your phone to distract your mind. 
As you turned on the device's screen Sirius' name flashed among the notifications. Talking to him was the last thing you wanted to do at that moment, but curiosity got the better of you when you saw the time he had texted you. His voice was slow and low, almost a hoarse whisper. The way he slurred his words as he spoke told you he was drunk, although all those details stopped mattering to you when you heard the content of his message. 
He loved you?
You sat on your bed in complete shock for a couple of minutes, your eyes glued to the wall as you replayed his message over and over again to make sure it wasn't some kind of hyper-realistic hallucination. 
He loved you.
You were just beginning to lighten up at the thought of your feelings being reciprocated when a small detail dawned on you: Sirius was drunk. He had sent you that message when he was under the influence of alcohol. He wasn't himself and therefore you couldn't trust his words. 
But this time instead of sitting around assuming things, you decided to do something about it. You needed to know if his words were real, if he truly felt for you all he claimed in his message.
You were dressed and down the stairs in less than five minutes, focused on finding Sirius. You scanned the entire common room with your eyes, looking for his long brown hair and leather jacket among the crowd of students lounging on couches or doing homework at desks, getting as much work done as they could before exams. He was nowhere to be seen, but your eyes did meet his friends gathered at the side, chatting and laughing as they always did.
"Hey! I'm looking for Sirius, do you guys have any idea of where he might be?" you asked them as you approached them, shamelessly interrupting their conversation. There was a moment of silence where they all shared a look before James gave you the answer you were looking for.
"He's in bed with the worst hangover of his life," he said. "Why...?" James tried to find out what it was you wanted with his friend, but you disappeared up the stairs before he could finish the sentence.
You made your way to his bedroom without a second thought. You had been there a couple of times in the past so you knew the way. This time was different from the others though. On the previous occasions you were accompanied by Lily and you were usually there to complain about something James and Sirius had done. But this time you weren't there to fight with him like a couple of immature children. You were looking for him to discuss whatever it was that you had going on, so normally the nerves were slowly taking over your system. Still, you tried to keep them from affecting your mind, confidently knocking on his bedroom door to hide the fact that your heart was beating with a pace that was probably unhealthy. 
"Is it true?" was the first thing you said to him when Sirius opened the door. He looked like he was just getting up, his long hair tangled and his eyes narrowed as if the light was bothering him. 
It took Sirius a few seconds to comprehend what you were saying, struggling to remember the events of the night before. The throbbing pain in his head had improved, but that still didn't help him regain his memory. Everything was a confusing haze of images that passed too quickly. The harder he tried to remember, the more the details slipped away, as if they were a dream that was lost in his subconscious the moment he woke up.
But then his own voice echoed in his mind.
'I love you and I wish things could be different between us.'
"Oh," he murmured as the realization hit him. "You got my message, huh?" he added, stepping aside to let you into the room. The conversation that would follow was not one to be had in the hallway.
"That's it?" you said, watching as he sat back down on his bed. "That's all that you're going to say?"
"What more do you want me to say?" Sirius sighed, running his hand through his hair. "That I pictured our lives together a thousand times? That the sound of your laugh makes my heart race? That there's no other girl I want to be with?" he said, getting up once more to approach you. He raised his voice, but he didn't sound angry, just... frustrated. "What difference would that make? You're with him now, so it's too late." He turned his back to you since it was difficult for him to maintain eye contact with you while exposing his feelings. He hated feeling vulnerable, but there was no point in lying anymore.
"Not anymore." Your voice was low, almost a whisper, but loud enough for Sirius to hear you.
"What?" He turned, looking at you with eyes full of confusion and illusion. 
"We broke up yesterday... he knew even before I did that my heart belonged to someone else... to the only guy I swore I wasn't gonna fall for." You let out a quiet laugh, finding the irony of the situation amusing. 
"Wait, are you saying that...?" Sirius spoke cautiously, a part of him refusing to believe what you were saying.
"I'm saying that you were the one I smell in the Amortentia." You interrupted him, confirming his doubts before he could even pronounce them. "It's you, it's always been you."
Sirius didn't waste another second, closing the distance between you and crashing his lips against yours. Fireworks exploded behind your eyes as you lost yourself in the kiss, feeling the warmth of Sirius' body envelop you completely. It didn't feel real. After denying your feelings for so long it was hard to believe you were finally kissing him, but there was no denying the electricity that coursed through your body, reassuring you that it wasn't just a dream. 
The world around you froze for an instant, all thoughts unrelated to Sirius disappeared from your mind as his lips caressed yours with desperation. It felt right, as if you were put into this world to be together. His lips connected with yours perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle that had taken you too long to put together. But it was finally happening, after all the comings and goings you had found each other and neither of you planned on letting the other go.
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When Emma Falls In Love - Remus Lupin
A/N: I totally didn’t intend to make this as long as it is (6k+), it sort of got away from me while I was writing. Despite the title and the lyric, the reader is gender neutral.
Summary: Remus and the reader take a trip to Hogsmeade after Christmas break. Marauder’s era cause I'm a sucker for that whole time period.
TS Anthology Masterlist | Harry Potter Masterlist
…turns out her heart fits right in the palm of his hand…
“What’s this?” Remus asked, long fingers smoothing over the newspaper that concealed the object you’d handed him. The funnies, he noticed, eyeing up Hogan’s Alley with a nostalgic grin. “How long have you had this newspaper, by the way?”
“A gift for you, obviously,” you replied, tugging the bow on top of the rectangular package. “Are you going to open it?”
“I’m reading,” he teased, tilting his head to see the underside of the package and the conclusion of the Hogan’s Alley comic strip.
“Remus!” You laughed, “you absolute mong, open the package!”
“Alright, alright,” he slipped a finger into the folded edge and tore the paper away from itself, beginning to reveal what you had wrapped inside weeks ago. You’d been waiting for winter break to be over and a good excuse to give Remus the christmas present you’d bought him while you’d been home.
You’d heard him earlier, recalling some story of debauchery that the marauders had gotten up to while at James’ for winter break and you’d listened in shamelessly, minorly jealous that they got to see so much of Remus and you were confined to shared classes and passing in the hallway. You were friends of course, be odd to give a stranger a present, but only school friends. The sort of friends who work on homework together if they happen upon one another in the library. Who chat about the turn in the weather, a particularly difficult assignment, or plans for hogsmeade (plans that never include the other person, of course). You wanted to be more than friends and you had been hoping he’d get the hint since fifth year but he was either extremely stupid (which you knew he wasn’t) or he didn’t like you back and didn’t want to embarrass you. Which was perfectly alright because you were pretty hellbent on embarrassing yourself with no help from outsiders.
“I saw it in a bookshop near my house,” you explained as Remus stared down at the cover of Arsene Lupin by Maurice LeBlanc. “I thought of you.”
“Because his last name is Lupin?” He inquired, holding the book up against his chest, front cover facing you.
“No,” you replied, “because he’s a gentleman thief and master of disguise.”
Remus burst into laughter, clutching the book tighter to himself. The newspaper and bow had fallen to the ground and he stepped back, accidentally crumpling the paper further. “Brilliant.” He sighed, looking at the cover again, “thank you…I don’t have anything for you, I’m afraid.”
“Oh no, it’s alright. I just saw it and thought you might enjoy reading it…I’ve only read the first two myself but I do love them quite a bit.” You explained, trying to sound nonchalant about the present. You’d spent the entire two weeks at home mulling over whether you should buy it, whether it was something he’d like, whether it was appropriate to even give him a gift, and then, when to give it to him.
“Well, thank you,” Remus stepped back further, off the newspaper, and bent to pick it up off the floor of the hallway.
“I can toss that in the bin for you,” You mentioned, reaching a hand out for the rumpled paper.
Remus shook his head, tucking the book between his arm and his side, and began to smooth the paper out and fold it. “Oh no, I quite like the funnies. I’ll enjoy reading them. You can have the bow, however.” He peeled the red bow from the top of the folded newspaper and pressed it against your head, the tape sticking to your hair.
“How does it look?” You joked, reaching up to rub a finger against the velvety ribbon. You’d tied and untied the bow nearly five times before you were happy with it.
“Supreme,” Remus replied, “say, are you going to Hogsmeade on Saturday?”
“Probably, I’ve promised mum taffy from Honeydukes.” You had gifted her some for christmas and it was already gone.
“Ah, perfect. We’ll go together, as my present to you, what do you say?”
“You really don’t have to change your plans around for me,” you replied. It wasn’t so much that Remus had concrete plans, just that everyone knew he spent his Hogsmeade days with the rest of the marauders.
“No change,” Remus promised, glancing down at the folded newspaper and licking his lips, “in fact you’d be doing me a favor. Sirius and James have detention, and Peter’s…busy.”
“If you’re sure,” you began.
“Absolutely,” he lied. They’d only been back to school a week, too short for detention, or at least in this one instance they had seemed to keep their noses out of trouble. He was sure they’d fudge a detention for the greater good, or at least for him getting a date. Though probably it didn’t sound like a date.
“Of course it doesn’t sound like a date Moony, you said ‘let me take you to Hogsmeade as a gift because I was an oblivious twat and didn’t get you anything and I feel bad but also I’ve got no one to go with, which is a lie, so come to Hogsmeade with me?’ when you should’ve just asked them to Hogsmeade properly.” Sirius remarked around a mouthful of chocolate orange.
“It scares me to say this, but I agree with Padfoot,” James replied, sprawled across his bed in the dorm, looking over at Remus with a concerned expression. As if he didn’t always agree with Sirius about everything.
“I’m sure James,” Remus said, his gaze wavering, wandering back to the book that sat on his nightstand. Arsène Lupin looked up at him, gold foil embellishments and silhouetted profile begging to be read. He ran his fingers over the cover as he picked it up, imagining briefly what it might’ve been like to have seen you over break. To have wandered together into a little bookshop in Cambridge, searching through titles and reading aloud bits of summaries that intrigued you. He thought of getting tea, or coffee as he knew you preferred, somewhere quaint and quiet where you could sit at a corner table and whisper with each other.
A real date, not some fallacy.
“Are you off in your own head there Remus?” Sirius asked, eyeing his friend suspiciously. “Don’t go too far honey, you tend to ruin your daydreams before you can romanticise them.”
“I’m not doing that,” Remus huffed, reaching for the curtain on his bed, “you’ll steer clear of Hogsmeade this weekend, swear it?”
“Swear it,” Peter piped up first, looking to James and Sirius for confirmation that they were, actually, going to leave Remus’ plan unscathed.
“Of course,” Sirius’ voice sounded sickly sweet as he smiled, “swear it.”
“Me too,” James replied, a side glance at Sirius ensuring that they were both thinking the same thing. There would be no keeping their promise.
Remus pulled the curtain closed, settling into his blankets and enchanting the light on his wand so that he could read. He read eagerly, devouring the story, or at least as much of it as he could before he felt himself falling asleep. He knew it was probably a bit crazy on his end but he wanted to finish the book before the weekend so he could discuss it with you.
By Friday afternoon he’d selected a whole list of topics and written them out on a piece of parchment, testing the ones he thought might have the best result on Sirius and James (though they were unsurprisingly not helpful).
“Is Herbology an especially favourable subject?” Sirius asked, looking over the parchment as Remus scribbled a note in the corner about muggle books you might’ve read.
“No, actually, I think they were failing until last year…” Remus replied, looking at the word scrawled across the page in his usual neat cursive.
“Perhaps not a good subject then, eh?” Peter asked, straining to see the list.
“True.” Remus scratched it off and looked through the rest of them, “any ideas?”
“Tell them you fancy ‘em and want to snog their face off.”
“Has that worked for you James? Ever?”
“Actually…no.” James frowned, “sorry mate, I’ve got nothing I’m afraid. Quite new to this relationship business myself.”
Remus groaned, not close to being in the mood to hear his friend drone on about Lily Evans when he was meant to be helping. “Let’s stay on task, shall we Prongs?”
“Alright, alright…what about…why are these all school subjects Remus? Surely they don’t want to walk around Hogsmeade talking about classes all afternoon.” James said, plucking the pen from Remus’s fingers and crossing off anything that resembled a school subject. He left muggle books, the only category not related to Hogwarts directly.
“Sad list,” Sirius admitted, clapping Remus on the shoulder.
“I realize that,” he snatched the pen back from James and crumpled the list. “I just want to have a nice afternoon.”
“And you will.” Sirius assured, “they’re absolutely mad about you honey, it’s obvious. Embarrassingly so.”
“Compliment them, it always works for me,” James offered, reaching into his pocket for the leftover candies Peter had brought from home. They were softer than they were meant to be because of the time spent in the pocket of James’ corduroy trousers but no less delicious.
“Has it always worked for you?” Remus levelled, taking a lolly from James’ outstretched palm and peeling away the red and yellow wrapper.
“It eventually worked for him,” Sirius replied.
“Exactly, thanks mate.” James nodded to him.
“Anytime.”
“If you two are done,” Remus interrupted, “perhaps we could get back on track.”
“You don’t need our help Moony,” Sirius assured, ruffling his hair, “you’re a catch, honest. They’d be lucky to get a moment alone with you!” He grabbed Remus’s cheeks in his hand without warning, turning his head as if to show James and Peter, “look at him, regular model face, that is.”
“Get off me Sirius!” Remus huffed, swatting away his friend’s hand.
He crumpled the piece of parchment he’d been writing the list on into a tight ball before tossing it away. It rolled off to a corner, stopping at the edge of a bookcase.
“Looks like your quidditch arm is out of practice there hon,” Sirius teased, sitting down beside Remus.
“None of you are helpful, I hope you’re aware of that?” He replied beginning to gather all of his papers and books together to put in his bag.
“Leaving us?” James asked, chewing on a particularly gummy piece of the taffy lolly.
“I am,” Remus replied.
“Oh come off it Moony, don’t be a sourpuss,” Peter said, earning an approving nod from Sirius.
“How do you expect us to help Moons?” Sirius asked, laying a hand over Remus’ bag to stop him from leaving, “you’re friends with ‘em. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we all love ‘em and think the two of you would make a lovely pair-“
“Brilliant, really,” James piped in.
“Exactly Prongs, but you’ll know what to say better than us. Just don’t overthink it, alright? Any other day with them, yeah.”
“It’s not any other day though Sirius.” Remus sighed, leaning back in his chair.
“You see them in Hogmeade plenty.” He argued, which was technically true.
Remus had run into you plenty of times in Honeydukes or at the Three Broomsticks. On occasion, more in fifth year and then hardly in sixth and now never in seventh, you’d ask if he might want to get a butterbeer with you but he always declined because he was with James, Sirius, and Peter. It was unfortunate and he wished everytime that he just put aside whatever niggling self-doubt existed in the back of his head because he really could be quite charming when he wanted to be (when there were no strings attached…or feelings, more accurately).
“Getting in your head again honey?” Sirius asked, drawing him out of a daydream. A rather bleak one, as it stood.
Remus hummed, “You think it’ll be alright?”
“I’ve never known you to worry this much over a date,” James replied, “what about that bird you went out with over christmas?”
“Exactly my point James,” Remus replied, “I tend to avoid going on dates with people who matter a great deal to me. It’s let’s messy that way, but it’s given me zero training in what I ought to do on a real date.”
“What about all the dates we’ve been on?” Sirius posed and Remus shoved him gently.
“We’ve not been on dates you mong,” he replied.
“That’s truly hurtful hon, can’t believe you would wound me that way when I’m here offering you support in your great hour of need.” Sirius teased.
Remus rolled his eyes at his best friend, finally pushing his chair back and standing up, “I’m heading back to the common room.”
“To wallow in your bunk Moony?” James called, earning and immediate shushing from Madam Pince.
Remus paused monetarily to offer James his middle finger in reply before making his way out of the library. The corridors were empty all the way back to the gryffindor common room and Remus spent the walk trying to rehearse talking points with himself in his head. As much as his friends drove him mad with their advice, he knew they were half-right and fully looking out for him. He just needed to calm down his brain, it was you after all. His darling study partner and an absolute vision in yellow.
You wore a lot of yellow; even Peter had commented on it once in the library (“you wear an awful lot of yellow” “yes, well, I am a Hufflepuff”) but Remus thought of it more like Marigold. Like a flower sprouting up to reach the golden rays of the sun, Remus felt the warmth of the color radiating off of you every time he was near.
It was no surprise then that you turned up in yellow on the morning of Hogsmeade. Black doc martens inherited from your father, yellow corduroy pants and a striped sweater that looked soft and felt softer when he hugged you.
“You look very excited this morning,” you mentioned in a teasing tone, smiling at him.
“Do I?” He asked, looking down at himself as though his excitement was a coat he could simply shed himself of.
“For someone who didn’t have anyone to go to Hogsmeade with,” you replied, “you’re very cheerful.”
“Well, not no one,” Remus insisted, “we’re going together.”
You smiled, tilting your head back as if you were turning your chin to the sun. “That we are,” you agreed.
As other students gathered in the courtyard began to depart for the long trek to Hogsmeade, Remus held his arm up, bent at the elbow, as if presenting it to you. The gesture was an inside joke that probably wasn’t truly funny and that neither of you could accurately recall the origin of but you laughter all the same. You took his arm, fingers pressing into the fabric of his plaid blazer, and allowed him to begin the journey. Mostly it was an enjoyable silence, you didn’t feel any pressure to fill the space (and you almost always felt pressure to fill empty air with some rambling assortment of nonsense) and Remus let his daydreams be far more romantic in nature than he usually allowed.
Remus was a bit of a cynic, more than a bit if any of his friends were queried on the topic, though he was wont to blame his lycanthropy for that less charming quality. Whether he would’ve been prone to cynicism without the affliction or not, Sirius was right. He did tend to let himself talk circles around any good thought that passed through his head until it became absolutely, unbearably, negative.
“Are you having a conversation with yourself there?” You asked, drawing his attention to you. The both of you had passed into Hogsmeade and when you’d begun asking which shop he’d most like to go in you’d realized he wasn’t paying the least bit of attention.
Remus hummed in reply and then shook his head as his brain caught up with the question you’d asked him, “no, sorry. James tells me I’m prone to daydreaming though I don’t often realize I’m doing it, I suppose he’s right.”
“There’s nothing I love more than a good daydream,” you replied, “Did I ever tell you, I zoned out on Alice’s hat when I was being sorted…imagined myself unraveling the whole horrid thing and fashioning it into a cute little top, I’m quite the crocheter, if you don’t know, and the sorting hat thought it was a trip…stuck me in Hufflepuff over the whole thing. Said I had too much going on between my ears,” you laughed as you finished the story and Remus couldn’t help smiling at you.
It was a nonsensical story but it had seemed to ease the tension in his bones, relaxing him enough to let him banish the niggling cynicism that made a home in his head.
“Are you positive it didn’t say Ravenclaw and you misheard, being so distracted as you were?” He asked.
You huffed out a laugh, “I heard correctly! Surely if I hadn’t someone might’ve mentioned it.”
Remus hummed in response as if he was weighing the validity of your argument, “I suppose.”
“I should crochet you something, it probably would’ve made a nicer gift than a silly book,” you mentioned, changing the subject, already thinking how nice Remus would look in a wool sweater. Maybe a maroon or a deep brown, he seemed to always be in earth tones and mismatched plaids.
“I quite like the book, actually,” Remus replied. He’d finished it within the three days between when you’d gifted it him and today. He wanted to be sure he cloud talk to you about and was thrilled to find that he throughly enjoyed the story (and his namesake, though Arséne sounded much classier than Remus).
“Have you started it?” You asked, passed beneath his arm as he held the door open to the Three Broomsticks. As he followed you in he caught sight of Rosemerta, watching him with a smirk as though she knew something he didn’t. Or perhaps she was more insightful than he gave her credit for and she could tell from across the crowded tavern that he was bumbling his way through a first date, hoping that you thought it was a first day to.
“Yes, I started it the other night, really very good,” he replied, taking a window spot.
You sat on the stool beside him, eyebrows pulling together as you looked out the window, your expression half way between surprise and confusion.
“Something wrong?” Remus asked, looking out the window himself but seeing only some younger students he wasn’t familiar with.
“No,” you shook your head, “just thought I saw…can’t be though. Anyway,” you changed the topic quickly, “I tried making butterbeer at home over the holiday but it turned out rather poorly.”
“I’ve never tried making it…don’t think it’s crossed my mind,” Remus replied. He turned in his stool, “just realized I’ve to get the drinks,” he slid off his seat and headed over to the bar to order.
You looked out the window again as he weaved his way through the crowd. Outside, against the backdrop of the snow you thought you saw something, blinking away the image at first and then…you realized you weren’t seeing things at all. Sirius was standing there, looking as if he didn’t know quite how he was visible to you but he recovered quickly, offering a wave and a wink. You waved back and then he pressed his finger to his lips before pointing over your shoulder and you understood the silent request. Don’t tell Remus. You smiled and nodded and then, practically before your own eyes the boy seemed to disappear.
“Here we are,” Remus set the butterbeer in front of you and resumed his spot. “How was your holiday? I don’t think I properly inquired before.”
“It was alright,” you shrugged, taking a sip of your drink, “my sister’s had the baby, so everyone was in a state over it. You would’ve thought it funny, the little devil puked all down the front of my party outfit on Christmas Eve!”
“Did he really?” Remus hid his mouth behind his glass, taking a somewhat stunted drink as he tried not to laugh at your misfortune.
You nodded in reply, unable to contain your own quiet laughter. “It was quite becoming too, my party outfit. Sirius owled me about coming to a Christmas party, which I was really very surprised by, and I’d picked it out just for the occasion.”
The flush that Remus had felt on his cheeks colored his neck and ears at the thought of Sirius inviting you to their Christmas party. His best friend had been particularly rowdy that evening and Remus had suspected that he’d had something up his sleeve but nothing had ever come of it. Now he knew; Sirius had been trying to get him to “make a move” on you since fifth year, when he’d first caught wind of Remus’ crush. Or infatuation perhaps.
“I’m sure it was lovely,” Remus replied, trying to fit you into what he thought you might wear to a fancy dress party. Something golden and soft and glittery, if he was asked to bet money on his assumptions.
“It really was!” You exclaimed, “I tried a spell to clean it off but i’m rubbish at household magic and ended up melting it! I looked like I was wearing a baby’s bib after they’ve thrown up on it!”
Remus laughed at the image your words produced, taking the final sip of his butterbeer, “I didn’t know you were planning on coming to the party, mishap aside I would have loved to see you there.”
Your heart swelled at his use of the word “loved” and you smiled, “Well my night was just as chaotic, I’m sure. Do you mind popping in to Honeydukes? I don’t want to keep you.”
“I wouldn’t mind it.” Remus muttered, the words slipping out before he could stop himself.
“Sorry?” You had busied yourself with pulling your coat back on and looked up in confusion, having not fully heard him over the commotion of the tavern.
“Oh, I was just uh…I have plenty of time. All day really.” He insisted, standing himself and taking his hat off the table so he could follow you back out to the village street.
“Damn!” You stopped suddenly, recalling with all the annoyance of someone who had forgotten something vital to their daily life that you had left your second present for Remus in the refrigerator at home.
“Are you alright?”
“I’d forgotten, because of baby Lucifer…not his real name ‘course…I made a batch of fudge for you. I was going to sneak it to you at the party but I obviously did not attend and so it’s sitting in the fridge at home.” You replied, already thinking of what you would say in an owl home to your mother.
“That’s alright, honest,” Remus replied, laying a hand gently on the back of your coat. The pressure of his touch seemed to get you moving again. “Wait, why would you need to sneak it to me?” He asked, his mind catching up to the entirety of your situation.
“Well, Sirius invited me to the party, as I’ve said, and he said you’d be there, very specifically too, and so I made you the fudge…this was before I saw the book of course…but I didn’t make anything for anyone else. I hate people feeling left out, naturally, but it didn’t even occur to me until I was getting ready to come over. And then, of course, I suppose it worked out because my sister handed me Fredagar, that’s his real name by the way…a doozy if you ask me…and well, you know the rest.” You replied, “I was looking forward to going though, I thought about owning you over the holiday but I didn’t want to seem like that nagging friend who didn’t know the boundaries of their friendship, you know?”
“You could never,” Remus replied, “I’d like to think there are very few boundaries on our friendship, if any.”
“That’s very sweet of you,” you said, plucking a cellophane bag of taffy off the shelf in Honeydukes for your mum, “I’m not completely clueless though Remus, I know you’ve got a couple secrets up your sleeve.”
Despite the smile when you said it, Remus felt the flush that had been staining his cheeks rush away as he paled. He looked almost nervous, you thought, far more serious than you’d intended. You had a few ideas about what his secret might be, and you knew he had one, but you would never wager a guess out loud. His business was his and if he wanted to share, when he wanted to share, you knew he would.
“Sorry,” you apologized, taking his hand in yours and giving a squeeze of reassurance, “I didn’t mean to upset you Remus, I was only teasing.”
“Of course,” he nodded, squeezing your hand back. “I didn’t mean to-“
“Don’t think anything of it,” you replied, “now, tell me how your holiday was? Did you lot get into any trouble?”
Remus tried to refocus, shaking his head gently to clear his thoughts, “With Sirius and James?” He reached for the candy in your hand, “here, let me get this for you.”
“Oh no, you got the butterbeers,” you replied, “besides the taffy is for my mum. I’m only getting the sherbet lemons and the chocolate frog. Hoping it’s not Dumbledore again, got a load of him.”
“James’ got a whole shoebox full of Dumbledores,” Remus replied, “Sometimes he lines them all up and watches him go back and forth between them all.”
You laughed at the thought of James sprawled out with his wizard cards, staring at Dumbledore passing through them. “Sounds like him.” You replied. “No, Remus, really-“
“I insist,” he placed the candies on the counter with his and then realized he’d need his other hand, “sorry I-“
“Oh, gosh, sorry…didn’t even realize I was still hanging on to you.” You let go, crossing your arms and looking around the shop while he paid.
“It’s alright,” Remus took the bag of sweets from the lady behind the counter and then reached over, deciding that maybe a bold move would be the right one, and took your hand again. “Do you want to walk a bit? Maybe?”
“Sounds good,” you agreed, letting Remus lead you back out onto the streets and through Hogsmeade.
The companionable silence from before seemed to fall over the two of you as you made your way around the small village. Remus let himself focus on the feeling of holding your hand in his and not the nerves that were still eating at him from your earlier comment. If he thought too hard on it he’d follow his own rabbit hole to the conclusion that you had figured him out and though you were still very obviously right here beside him, your motivations for wanting to be his friend if you knew were murky at best. He knew he was catastrophizing, even if he didn’t intend to, and that was probably why he didn’t realise exactly where he was until you finally spoke up.
“My sister used to tell me she would lock me in there when she was still at Hogwarts.”
Remus looked up in confusion, the Shrieking Shack standing a few meters away behind an old rickety fence.
“The shrieking shack,” he said, just for good measure.
“What do you think of it?” You asked.
“What do you mean?” His grip on your hand tightened ever so slightly and he looked as uneasy as he had back in Honeydukes.
“Oh, just like, do you really think some murderous hermit lives there? That’s what my sister used to tell me, that he built the house on the bones of his victims and that it was their screams you could hear on the anniversaries of their death.” You replied, gravely. Just as quickly you smiled, “or something like that.”
“I’ve heard a different one then,” Remus laughed.
“Have you? Suppose it’s not a murderer then. That’s a relief.” You replied.
“I should tell you,” Remus began, clearing his throat, trying to calm his nerves. “I uh, well, Sirius and James didn’t actually have detention today. And Peter wasn’t busy either, I sort of…well I wanted to come to Hogsmeade with you and I didn’t know or I was too nervous to ask.”
You bit your bottom lip to stop the smile that was threatening to spread. “I sort of, guessed about the Sirius and James bit. Not that I knew you were lying just to go out with me, if that is what your saying-“
“It is. It…how did you know about James and Sirius?” He asked, perplexed.
“I think they might’ve been following us, I saw Sirius outside of The Three Broomsticks,” you replied.
Remus looked around quickly, as if he could somehow see them, hiding out in the open, when it was just the two of you. “You swore you’d stay out of Hogsmeade!” He called to the empty space around you.
And despite Sirius and James appearing seemingly out of thin air you only felt mildly surprised to see them both. “Did your sister really name her son Fredagar?” Sirius asked as he ran a hand through his hair and straightened his jacket.
Remus looked absolutely peeved, though you weren’t sure if it was because they broken their promise or because they’d been following the two of you around Hogsmeade all afternoon. “Oh, come off it Moony, we would’ve closed our eyes if you two started snogging.” James said, pushing his glasses up his nose.
You chose to ignore him and focus on Sirius instead, “afraid so. According to her husband it’s a family name.”
Remus still looked bother and perhaps now a touch embarrassed, the red coming back to his cheeks in full force. He let go of your hand in favor of crossing his arms, looking about the clearing as though someone else might be there as well.
“Peter didn’t come, the spoilsport said ‘we promised Remus we’d stay behind’.” Sirius answered the unspoken question, pitching his voice higher to sound like Peter.
“At least one of my friends actually listens to me.” Remus huffed.
“It’s alright, really,” you promised.
“See, they aren’t bothered,” Sirius pointed out, “can’t believe you weren’t going ti give Jamesy and me a present though. Really gutted over that one. You don’t even know how you’ve wounded me.”
“You’ll get over it, I’m sure.”
“Never. Take it to my grave is what I’ll do.” Sirius joked, clutching at his heart dramatically, “it’s betrayal really, I thought I was your favorite.”
“My favorite what? Pain in the ass?” You laughed.
“And the hits just keep coming!”
James smacked Sirius’ arm, “it’s alright, we all know who your favorite is.” He looked over at Remus, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
“Christ, can’t you two find something else to do?” Remus asked, “where’s Lily?”
“She said something about someone breaking up with somebody else and having a nice Hogsmeade trip to mend them up…can’t remember specifics.” James replied.
“Good to know you listen to your girlfriend.” Remus snarked.
“I do listen! It’s just that we were making out and she always tells me things when we’re in the middle of it and then I can’t remember what it is she said.”
“Maybe that’s why she does it,” you pointed out, “to see if you’re paying attention.”
“I am!” He insisted, “to her!”
“Let’s just go back,” Remus tried, gesturing for James and Sirius to go ahead.
Sirius looked surprised at the suggestion though, a devilish smile coming to his face as he looked passed Remus to the shrieking shack. “We wanted to check your theory,” he said, looking over at you, “about the murderer in the shack.”
“Sirius!” Remus snapped, the scarlet of his cheeks suddenly giving him a furious look. He was no longer feeling embarrassed or annoyed or even smitten as he had been in The Three Broomsticks. This Remus was pissed off.
“It’ll be fun,” Sirius insisted. He and James were excitable and charming when they wanted to be but sometimes they were downright cads. No regard for anyone’s feelings and taking jokes just over the line until they weren’t funny anymore.
“I think I’d rather just go back to Hogwarts,” you replied, worrying your bottom lip as you glanced over at Remus. He wouldn’t meet your eyes though.
“Just a minute or two, like a dare,” James teased, grabbing your shoulders and pushing you toward the break in the fence where others had clearly manipulated the wire to get in.
“I think-“
“You two are assholes sometimes, you know that?” Remus snapped, hurt more than anger fuelling his words, “I told you to leave me alone for the day and you can’t even fucking do that? You insist on ruining everything!”
You looked over your shoulder, passed James (who was also looking over his shoulder) and realized Remus was trudging back toward Hogsmeade. Sirius had turned to watch him go, picking up the discarded bag of sweets that he’d tossed as he’d stormed out.
“Remus!” Sirius called, still sounding jovial though mildly confused, as if he couldn’t fathom why his friend was upset.
James seemed to have caught on, his hands falling from your shoulders, “sorry, we just thought it’d be a laugh.”
“It’s okay,” you weren’t really sure that it was okay but you didn’t know what other platitude to offer them. “I’ll go see if I can catch up with him?”
“Think that’s best, he might sock us if we follow him now.” James replied.
You took the candy from Sirius and started after Remus, following his tracks in the snow. By the time you got to Hogsmeade, his footpath had muddled with everyone else’s and it was impossible to know exactly where he’d gone. You thought about asking around but then that seemed silly, you had misplaced someone in a village this small? Wouldn’t that just mean they didn’t want to see you? Hogwarts seemed logical, he’d show up there eventually, at least. So you hiked your way back to Hogwarts and were almost immediately reminded why you disliked coming to Hogsmeade most of the time. The treacherous uphill climb back to the school was daunting, especially when you were forced to trek on your own through the snow.
By the time you got back to the castle your knees, shins, elbows and the bottom of your jacket were all wet and icing over. Luck took pity on you though and you found Remus on the bridge, over looking the lake and gorge.
“I‘ve saved your chocolates, which turned out to be quite a feat because I lost my footing at least three times on the walk back,” you called, “you’ll be relieved to have abandoned the day, then you didn’t have to be embarrassed by my clumsiness.”
“I,” Remus sighed as he turned toward you, “I didn’t mean to abandon anything…I uh, I’m prone to a temper every now and again.”
“Is that what that was? You seemed so calm and collected,” you teased, “Sirius was right though, I’m really not bothered. I’m sorry that you were.”
“I just wanted it to be a nice date,” Remus admitted. “I fucked up the ask and then…well I made a whole list of things we could chat about and it was complete rubbish so I tossed it and then I couldn’t come up with anything noteworthy to say-“
“I had a lovely time,” you cut him off, laying your hand on his arm, “you don’t need a list of topics Remus, we’re friends…we talk all the time.”
“Yeah, but not…I mean, not the sort of talk that leads people to think you’re interested in them, in a more than friendly way.” He admitted, “we always chat about friendly things.”
“Well, I could start telling you how gorgeous you look in your vest, would that help?” You asked, reaching out to gently tug the hem of his vest as you spoke.
“Yes, I suppose.” He nodded, “I, as you can imagine, I was planning on kissing you…perhaps, if you wanted to, of course. Not by the shack, that would be unromantic. I was thinking maybe just in the woods but then we wander further than I intended too and, as you know, James-“
You tugged his vest again, a little rougher this time, and leaned in to kiss him. “You know you sound an awful lot like me right now?” You almost laughed, “you’re supposed to be the confident one aren’t you?”
“You should try being me when you’re looking at me like that.”
“What am I looking at you like?” You asked.
“Like, well,” the thought occurred to Remus suddenly, like someone pulling a lightbulb string inside his head and bringing a lamp to life, “like you always look at me.” He said it softly, as if he were afraid to admit what he’d really known all along.
“You’re very clever,” you teased, kissing him once more, “are you positive you aren’t in Ravenclaw?”
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happyhauntt · 1 month
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a writer & his muse — sirius black
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writing masterlist | askbox
─── summary: renowned mystery writer sirius black has a new muse, and it just so happens to be the homicide detective who hates him. (castle!au)
─── pairing: mystery writer!sirius black x detective!reader.
─── warnings: fluffy banter, mild threats of violence, sirius is a little bastard and knows it, honestly just a fun time. muggle au.
─── word count: 1k.
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You're not entirely sure what you did to deserve this sort of punishment.
The station is pretty quiet when you arrive, as it usually is this early in the morning. A sigh of relief escapes you as you arrive at your desk, dropping your bag at the foot of your chair, and you realise that aforementioned punishment — the newest irritation in your life — has yet to arrive.
You’d really love to know what you did to deserve this. Whether you accidentally pissed off some ancient deity, or cut in line at the supermarket so your cosmic karma is unbalanced, or perhaps your boss just really hates you, even though he invited you to his birthday barbecue a few months ago and had called you, endearingly, the 'best detective he'd ever trained.'
You hadn't thought he could be harbouring a secret grudge against you, but really, what other reason could there be for this kind of punishment?
And it is a punishment. Of that, you have no doubt. It is a tooth-grinding, migraine-inducing kind of punishment, and if you weren't acutely aware of the consequences, you might have tried to murder him by now.
Him being, of course, the world-famous mystery writer, Sirius Black.
What a smarmy, egotistical little bastard.
From the very moment he sauntered into the station, wearing a beat-up leather jacket and a devil-may-care smirk, you'd known your life was about to get complicated. Or, well, more complicated.
Your job is difficult enough, chasing down criminals and solving murders all day, without having a nosy moron breathing down your neck, spouting crackpot conspiracy theories when the evidence is much more straightforward.
You hear his footsteps on the linoleum before he strolls around the corner, clutching a cup of takeout coffee in each hand. He sets one of them on the desk in front of you, brandishing a crooked grin like a weapon.
"How is my lovely muse this morning?" He winks at you as he slumps into a nearby chair, pulled close to the corner of your desk for research purposes. You wonder if he's ever heard the phrase 'personal space'.
Your lip curls. A slew of paperwork has been spread across your desk for an hour, all related to the case you solved earlier in the week, where Black had been, surprisingly, somewhat helpful. Your boss had been liberal with his praise, and Black's ego had puffed up to an insufferable degree.
Unfortunately, you're now reaping the consequences.
"Considering if I can kill you and make it look like an accident," you reply, your voice flat. You sniff the coffee before taking a sip. Annoyance punches through you when you realise he has your coffee order memorised. You want to bury him in a shallow grave.
Black leans back in his chair, a wide grin sweeping over his face. "If anyone could, it would be you."
"Does any part of this shadowing gig involve helping me with the, frankly ridiculous, amount of paperwork you generate?"
He purses his lips in thought for a moment before shaking his head. Strands of shaggy black hair fall around his face. "Never really written the paperwork into my books. A bit boring, you know. Nothing the readers want to bother with."
You roll your eyes. "And yet, Mr Black, you insist on bothering me."
"Sirius, please." He chuckles at you. How were you unlucky enough to catch his attention? How insane is he, wanting to follow a homicide detective around for research on his new book? "Mr Black is my father, and a large part of the reason I write mysteries, not horror." He feigns a shudder.
"Mr Black," you say, fixing him with an unamused glare. "When, exactly, do you think you'll be finished with your book?"
"Detective, you wound me!" He splays his hand over his chest, just above his heart. You try not to stare at the tattoos flexing across his knuckles, or the way his shirt goes tight across his chest. "Here I was, thinking you enjoyed our time together."
"Like a hole in the head," you mutter.
There's a teasing twinkle in his eyes. He takes a long sip of his own coffee while you return your attention to the paperwork, scribbling your signature in the appropriate places.
Every once in a while, you can feel him watching you. Eyes like swirls of cigarette smoke, analysing your every move. There’s an odd little tick he has, his fingers tapping an unfamiliar rhythm against his leg. Whether the sound is soothing or frustrating, you can’t quite decide.
The shrill ringing of your desk phone startles you both. He’s trying not to laugh, you can tell, as your hand darts out to answer it.
I wonder if this is how zoo animals feel, you think to yourself as you listen to the officer on the other end of the line. You scratch the information out onto a post-it note, an address and a few other key details, before hanging up.
He’s a bundle of energy beside you. His knee bounces, and there’s a gleam in his eyes that is beyond inappropriate, considering the circumstances of your job and his so-called research.
It’s like being stalked by a golden retriever, except you’re certain you would prefer the dog over Sirius Black’s presence.
“Grab your coat, Mr Black. We’ve got a body.” You push yourself away from your desk, filing the paperwork away in the drawer for later.
He bounces to his feet with a level of enthusiasm that should, frankly, be illegal.
“Try to be a little less excited,” you say in a chiding, exhausted voice as you lead him out of the station. “Someone is dead.”
“I’ll try to be as macabre as possible, detective,” he assures you. He climbs into the passenger seat of your car, drumming his fingers against his leg in that bizarre non-rhythm again. “I’ll channel my mother. You know, I based one of my characters on her…”
Tuning him out is easier said than done, but you do your best. The book must be nearly finished. How much more research can he possibly do?
You just have to grit your teeth and bear his presence for a few more weeks. You just have to make sure you don’t kill him for a few more weeks. He’ll surely get bored of you and find a new muse at some point, right?
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itisme-rosie · 2 months
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-- party first meets; marauders' era! regulus black, evan rosier, barty crouch jr. (separately) wherein one meets them at a party for the first time.
cw: fluff!! bartender evan, own characterization of evan and barty (kinda influenced by t*kt*k oneshots), flirty barty, probs a little ooc reg? pandora mentions in evan's and throwing up mentions in barty's.
[ i don't know what to tell you guys about this one. au where it's a perfect world and no one is fighting? haha. anyway, my characterization isn't perfect and it isn't 100% tiktok based, but yeah. it's a you like it or hate it moment. i've had this in the back of my notes app for so long too so the characterization is also months old. ]
masterlist | rules
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[ evan rosier ]
"just how sure are you that that's even safe to put in your mouth, pandora?" i ask, eyebrows raised as i eye the cup she had in her hand.
"well, i trust the bartender, so," the blonde shrugs and takes a swig from the cup, a look of satisfaction on her face when the initial bitterness wears off.
"the bartender?" i ask, mouth agape, "you mean to tell me there's a bartender during slytherin house parties?"
"you would know if you came around when i would invite you to them," pandora says in a singsong voice, taking another sip and making a sound of satisfaction before offering the cup to me, "want a taste?"
"i don't know..." my eyes squint in suspicion, "do i?"
"it's really good,"
"i don't care what my mother says, you are a terrible influence on me,"
"one drink," she whines, "just one and i'll never peer pressure you into taking another one again,"
"you're terrible," i shake my head, sighing, "but fine - i better not have magically ended up face first in someone's toilet when i wake up tomorrow,"
pandora squeals in excitement, clapping happily before taking my hand and weaving through the crowd of students in the slytherin common room all the way to the back, where a transfigured mini-bar stood and behind the bar stood one of the handsomest (and most terrifying) students in slytherin -- evan rosier.
it was hard not have heard about him, or the rumors about veela blood running through his veins. maybe it had nothing to do with veelas and good looks just ran in their blood, we will never know. as i watched him pour out drinks, i suddenly understood why a multitude of students - male and female alike - developed some sort of liking for him. (okay, maybe i did too at one point in time during my early years in hogwarts but that is not the focus here, okay?)
pandora walks over to him, and he nods in acknowledgement to her before looking at me up and down.
"you remember them, right? i tell you about them?" pandora pats my shoulder, "well, they have never had a drink by you before, so, i obviously had to drag the over here to have a taste,"
"you say plenty pandora," evan deadpans, raising an eyebrow and smirking when pandora makes a noise of protest.
but evan nods, finishing off one drink before leaning against his palms on the counter, looking over me again in a way that had me shuffling behind pandora.
merlin, he was intimidating.
"you have any preferences?" he asks, voice smooth like butter.
"preferences...?"
"how hard do you want your alcohol?" pandora supplies.
"are you a lightweight? wouldn't want you passing out in the middle of the school hallways, merlin knows pandora won't be able to lug you all the way back to your dorms with how drunk she'll be at the end of the night,"
pandora makes another offended noise and her hand lightly swats the poor man's arm but he doesn't flinch. that alone was enough to tell me that he might have been already used to her antics.
"you're painting me in a bad light here rosier," she grumbles, "how am i supposed to convince her to come over to the next party now?"
"have you tried asking nicely?"
"...i've tried dragging her here with a bag over her head but who really keeps track - oh, there you are!"
i have little to no chance to protest before pandora latches onto one of her ravenclaw friends, the latter throwing his arm over her with loud laughter before they disappear into the crowd - presumably to disturb someone else in that friendship circle, but what mattered to me in that moment as that despite all her promises, pandora had left me unattended with one of the most intimidating students in hogwarts and he was watching me like an ant under a microscope, his arms flexing as they glided over the makeshift bar.
"she'll be back to check on you eventually," evan drawls out, sliding a dark glass that hid the color of the liquid inside over to me.
i went quiet and he must have sensed my apprehension to pick up the cup.
"pandora would strangle me if i slipped anything less than savory in there," he calls over his shoulder, pulling out bottles from a shelf behind him, "plus, i wouldn't want to scare you away already, not when i think that it'd be nice to have new faces to learn about,"
"meaning?" i ask quizzically, the first time i ever actually properly acknowledged him, pulling the glass closer to me.
he shrugs, "i know every single slytherins' - the ones old enough to drink, of course - order by heart, it's the same old, same old, party after party, new face means taking time away from that bunch -" evan nods towards the other side of the common room where pandora and the rest of their group stood, presumably causing havoc, with a fond smile, "- to help someone figure out just exactly what they want," his eyes find mine and i can't help the heat from warming my cheeks and the bastard didn't even try to hide the smirk he had on.
i hum in faux contemplation, looking away awkwardly and taking a sip before my eyes widen at the burst of flavors, "oh wow," i say simply, taking a bigger sip.
evan's head drops as he laughs to himself at my reaction and he lifts it again as he extends his hand towards me, "evan rosier, by the way,"
i smile back, shaking his hand, "nice to meet you,"
honestly, all i could think about was how nice he looked when he smiled - and if i should indulge pandora the next time she invites me to a party in the slytherin common room.
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[ regulus black ]
bathroom lines pain me immensely.
you'd think that with the amount of students they have in this damn school they'd build more efficient bathrooms, but no.
true, there were more bathrooms around this floor, but those were too far away and far too hidden in dark hallways patrolled by the professors for half-drunk people to wander to so here i was, standing in line for the bathroom that i was positive held the same person for 15 minutes and counting.
i sigh, checking my watch and tapping my foot impatiently, the music blaring in the common room too loud for me to even think properly much less think to kick the door down just so i could pee.
the man behind me echoed my sigh, and he moved to stand beside me in the cramped hallway in such a way that i was pressed against the wall and i could catch every detail of his side profile plus the smell of booze and his cologne, a hint of a tattoo on his arm peeking out of his rolled up sleeves - and i catch myself gawking and i shake my head as if to rid myself of my delusions. but that's not the point, the point was that he reached his arm past my head to knock impatiently at the door.
then again, and again and i remained in the same position until he sighed and looked over at me.
"sorry about that," he says, leaning down so i could hear his voice.
"'s no problem," i murmur back, the alcohol in my veins increasing the chances that i would say something stupid if i kept staring at him, so i lowered my gaze to the shoes on my feet, "guess i'm not going to the bathroom anytime soon,"
with the dingy lighting in this part of the hallway plus the music pounding in my ear, it was hard to tell who exactly it was i was conversing with, not that it mattered at the moment - i was at this party to enjoy myself, not overthink about the identity of a strange man i met by the bathrooms. doesn't that just sound wrong?
"unfortunately, yes," the man grumbles, "but - nevermind,"
i raise my head to look at him, head tilting it to the side curiously, "hmm?"
"...i don't want to make you uncomfortable," he answers gruffly.
"ah," i smile tightly, "right, i see, thanks,"
the music fills the silence between us again and we both stay where we were, not moving a bit even though we knew there was no chance in hell whoever was in the bathroom was not coming out any time soon.
soon enough, he sighs again, "there's a bathroom in my dorm, if you're up to going in there,"
"well, why'd you line up in the communal bathroom instead of go up to your dorm to use the bathroom there?"
'so he was a slytherin then', i thought to myself. that narrowed down the possibilities but the list of slytherin students old enough to be partying (plus the ones that snuck in) was still pretty broad, but i needed to be on guard - a stranger at a party? no one can be too safe. i pat my wand through my clothes to make sure it was still in my pocket.
"my friends are barring the path to the dorms like a bunch of cavemen," the stranger says irritatedly, "they think i'm going to lock myself up in the dorm again,"
i stay quiet, mulling over this information, "would you have? locked yourself up in your dorm? no offense, but i'm guessing you aren't a big fan of the party scene,"
"i would have, and don't worry, i am indeed not a fan,"
silence again.
"well?" he asks, starting to fidget.
"hmm?" i look up at him and it takes a while for his earlier offer to register in my brain again and when it does, i start to sputter a little, "are you sure you won't mind? your dorm mates won't mind?"
"you've been waiting longer than i have and those morons are probably wasted somewhere," he shakes his head, "we'll slip in and out quickly, they won't notice and i don't mind,"
i think for a bit and my bladder decided to remind me that i was in desperate need of a bathroom so i nod, "sure - yeah, if you're sure, i'd appreciate it, thanks,"
"c'mon then," his head jerks in the other direction and i follow atfer him, almost getting lost in the crowd of people, but he was nice enough to glance back every once in a while to make sure i was still following after him.
the lights were brighter when we got to the main room, but he never turned around long enough for me to see who he was, but i could tell he was well dressed. extremely well dressed for a house party but dishevelled enough that he didn't look too out of place. i shake my head again, realizing that i was getting to lost in my own drunk thoughts, and when a pair of dancing students nearly separated me from him, i instinctively reached for the back of his white button-up and he looks back immediately and my hand drops as quickly as i reached for him when i realize who he was.
"regulus black," i murmur, my hand drawn to my chest like i had been burned.
no one was immune or deaf to the rumors about him, about his family. as unapproachable as he seemed, he was a decent enough person inside of the classroom in the sense that as a partner, he was more than capable of carrying his own in a task, basing on rumors, of course. it didn't help that he was also a beautiful man, though i would never say that out loud. i totally understand why the girls in our year found him attractive even though he was intimidating.
"still need the bathroom or do you not wish to be seen with me?" regulus deadpans and i am reminded that we are standing in the middle of the dance floor.
"aren't you worried about the rumors that could start if someone saw you taking me into your room? regardless of the real reason - which people will totally ignore,"
"i don't care at this point," he rolls his eyes, "hurry up if you still want to,"
i did. i still wanted (and needed) to use his bathroom. worries about rumors be damned.
his friends - crouch and rosier - had intercepted us at the steps and the music was too loud for me to comprehend what they started teasing him about, plus the way that i was still reeling from the fact that regulus black just offered for me to use his bathroom.
he taps on my shoulder and i look up at him, blinking and trying to ignore the looks barty and evan were giving us both out of the corner of my eye.
"wait -" i pause when we're halfway up the stairs, introducing myself with a shaky extended hand and he looks at me curiously.
"i thought i'd introduce myself before i intrude in your private space,"
he looks almost amused, glancing at the ground with a shake of his head and he takes my hand in his, shaking it firmly, "regulus, regulus black," he smirks and i feel my heart beat faster, "delighted to make your acquaintance."
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[ barty crouch jr. ]
i was not a party person. maybe half a party person but not exactly the most social butterfly that i go hunting for parties just that if i was invited, i'd be more inclined to attend so long as someone was with me.
and right now, the *insert colorful insult here* that invited me to a party hosted by the slytherin quidditch team for their well-fought win against hufflepuff was no where to be seen.
re-entering the room after not seeing him anywhere outside, i sigh, feeling a dull throb in my temples as i contemplated just leaving without him and pretending to wave away his half-assed apologies for leaving me alone at a party tomorrow morning.
turning back to the door, sudden chanting of his name had my turning back and scanning the room for where the commotion was - a large table in one of the corners that hadn't been occupied by dancing groups and couples surrounded by a small crowd of people. curiously, i approach it. might as well tell him i was about to leave his ass alone here to navigate his way back to his dorm alone.
i worm my way to the front of the crowd, earning more than a few elbows to the side and snarky comments about taking up the good spot, but i could only gawk as i watched my friend chug a glass (an extremely large glass) of some mystery liquid i was glad i wasn't pouring into my mouth if the strong smell was all we were going on.
"seriously?" i groan, catching his attention when he lowers the glass and the crowd cheers, stopping when he hurls his guts out into a bucket.
feeling the weight of someone's stare into the side of my head, i glance in that direction and i immediately avert my eyes when they do indeed meet someone else's.
"that your date?" the person asks in a cocky voice, stepping closer to my date from the side of the table opposite me.
begrudgingly, he nods, clutching his stomach.
my eyes widen, "i am not -"
"barty crouch jr., love, a pleasure," the stranger - now barty, i suppose, sticks his hand out to me and i hesitantly shake it, which earns another round of cheering from the crowd around me and i fix a sharp glare at my friend, pulling my hand from barty's.
"what did you do?"
"made a bet that he now has to pay for - quite a few of them, actually," barty laughs.
"what does that have to do with me?" i ask snarkily.
"let me explain it to her -"
"he bet me 5 galleons i couldn't drink my own glass of that," barty nods at the now empty glass my friend drank from, "and it just built up from that until he ended up promising me a date with you,"
i stare at barty, then back at my sheepishly smiling friend, the moron was already rubbing the back of his head like he was anticipating when i'd hit him, "you absolutely massive piece of -"
my friend tugs me closer by the arm, whispering, "at least he's cute,"
"that is not the point!"
"i wouldn't have done it if he was ugly," he hisses.
i stare at him, the cogs turning in my head until it finally clicked, "you did this on purpose?" my voice goes up a pitch.
"in my defense, you were super into this guy when you first saw him in one of your NEWTS classes years ago, right?" he lifts his arms to protect himself from the barrage of blows i was about to rain down on him, "you were devastated when you didn't find him anywhere after!"
barty clears his throat and my cheeks warm when i thought he heard our conversation.
"nothing has to happen," barty raises his hands in surrender when i turn to face him, "i can walk you to your dorm and we can call it all even love,"
"i doubt it'll be that easy," i say uncertainly, watching the crowd around us disperse to rejoining the rest of the party.
barty's eyebrow quirks up with the corner of his lips, "don'tcha trust me?"
i make a face that makes him laugh, meeting his eyes head-on before i look away, "we've only just met," i shrug weakly, "can you really blame me for being apprehensive?"
"i suppose i can't blame you," he mimics my shrug and i let a small smile form on my lip.
"aha!" the man laughs triumphantly, "i made you smile,"
"i could have been smiling at anything, there's a lot of stimuli around here, the music, the booze -"
"or you could have just been even slightly amused by me," he interjects.
neither confirming nor denying his statement, i look around to look for my friend so we could both get back to the dorm but the sneaky son of a you-know-what had slipped away while i was distracted.
barty must have noticed how i was looking around because he laughed, "he tapped out when we were talking," he muses, "your friend is one sly bastard,"
"he is," i fume, "starting battles he leaves me to fight -" i give up on looking at him, staring at my fingers as they drum on the table and i sigh, my head drooping before i look up at barty again.
i tell him my name, extending my hand, "barty," i say when his hand envelopes mine, his name rolling off my tongue smoothly, "i hope it isn't too late to take you up on your offer?"
"you mean the condition you were forced into?"
"i'm trying to loosen up here," i grumble, pouting for a split second until i spotted his smirk.
he kisses the back of my hand, "i'll protect you from the dark hallways love, don't worry,"
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band--psycho · 10 months
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Young!Remus Lupin x Reader - Never Stop Being You
For @loving-and-dreaming (and for anyone else who has ever felt like this) ; I hope this fic helps I saw it a while ago whilst I was reading Remus fics!
I hope you all enjoy this! 💛
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“Y/n, I was thinking we could go to the library after potion classroom study?” Remus said, lifting his head up from the book he’d been enthralled in most of the morning. 
“Yeah; that sounds good, hon-Remus,” Y/n replied with barely even a smile before she left the Gryffindor Common room altogether. 
Remus’ eyes narrowed in both confusion and concern; a look that his fellow Marauders also mirrored. 
Y/n loved the library, that’s where she spent eighty percent of her time when she wasn’t in classes and sure studying wasn’t her favorite thing to do but it was odd to see her so indifferent by what he said. 
She also rarely called anyone by their first name unless it was her first time meeting them; or had told her to call them by their name. But Remus had never done that; in fact he found it adorable that she called him honey; it made his heart feel all warm and fuzzy. 
So hearing his actual name fall from her lips was like a punch in the gut. 
She hadn’t called him by his full name since they met each other; in their first year, they were now in their seventh….
“Did I just hear that correctly?” He asked; rubbing the back of his neck nervously; his mind trying to work out if maybe he had misheard her. 
“Moony, what did you do?” Sirius questioned; his eyebrows raised as he looked at his friend; Sirius, much like Remus had rarely seen Y/n call anyone by their first name, the only time he’d experienced it was when she was really mad at him for pulling a prank on her, that went terribly wrong and ruined one of her favorite books. 
Hence why Sirius assumed that Remus and Y/n had had a falling out. 
However, Lily soon corrected that assumption, “He hasn’t done anything,” 
“She’s been like that for a few days,” Marlene continued with a sigh, as she twiddled her quill in between her fingers, “It’s like she’s stopping herself from saying the nicknames she’s called us for years…”
Remus hadn’t been around as much the last few days because of the full moon, he’d spent most of his time in the hospital wing and in his dorm room; today was the first real day he’d felt strong enough to go back to classes. 
Something had happened to Y/n…and he couldn’t help the ache of guilt in his chest at the thought of something happening to her and him not being there. 
But he was here now; and he was going to find out what had happened to make her act unlike herself.
~~~~~
Throughout the rest of the day, Remus kept an eye on Y/n…and although it was exactly like Marlene had said, she was calling everyone by their first name, avoiding all the nicknames she used to call people; there was also something else going on. 
She was quiet; unusually so. 
She barely cracked a smile at Sirius’ joke in Charms class; and Remus knew  that that was a joke she would’ve normally laughed at. 
It was like a Dementor had come along and sucked all of the happiness out of her. 
In fact he was fully  prepared for her not to show up to their study session today; but a small wave of relief washed over him when he saw her making her way over to him. 
“Hey,” Remus greeted softly as she sat down; there were a million questions racing around in his head, but he thought it was best to let her get comfortable before he started asking her questions. 
After an hour of studying; it was not Remus who broke the silence they were in, it was Y/n.
“What’s wrong? She asked; her eyes not once dithering from the book she was reading.
“Shit,” Remus mumbled under his breath; as he looked up at Y/n. He’d been hoping that she was so engrossed in her charms book to notice his worried glances; clearly, he was wrong. 
“I could ask you the same question?” He countered gently; closing the book he’d been trying and failing to read. 
“I’m fine,” she stated bluntly; trying to ignore the concern in Remus’ eyes as he looked at her.
“I’m just saying…if there’s something wrong…you can talk to me, Y/n/n y’know that right?”  he smiled reassuringly.  
He knew she was lying when she said she was fine; but he also respected that maybe she didn’t want to talk about what was wrong right now and as much as he wanted her to tell him what was wrong so he could help her, he also wasn’t going to push her. 
“Why does everyone think there’s something wrong with me?” Y/n snapped; silencing the minimal chitter in the background as she gathered her belongings and quickly left the library. 
He swore he saw her wipe a few tears from her cheek before she left; and that just made his heart ache even more as his mind fought with itself for a few moments; trying to decide what the best thing to do was, if he went after her he was worried that she would feel like she didn’t have any space; but alternatively he also hated the thought of her being alone whilst she was upset. 
He couldn’t leave her. 
So he rushed after her, trying to think of where she could be.
He tried all the usual places he thought he’d find her; and then all of the less likely places; and he couldn’t find James who had the map, so that ruled that out as an option of trying to find her. 
It was a complete and utter coincidence that he bumped into her quite literally while he was walking towards the Quidditch pitch where James and Sirius were. 
“Y/n/n-” his words stopped in his throat when he saw just how puffy and red her eyes were. 
“C’mere,” he whispered, pulling her into his arms; a gesture which she didn’t fight against; instead, she simply melted into the warmth and comfort of his arms, as he rubbed her back soothingly. 
“I’m sorry,” She sniffled, pulling herself away from him slightly so that she could wipe her tears away. 
“You don’t need to be sorry,” he cooed; continue to rub small circles into her back; while his other hand rose to her face, caressing her cheek.
“Am I too much?” She asked, the question catching Remus completely off guard. 
“Am I too nice; too bubbly, just…too much, I know people don’t always like nicknames…and I can be a bit too loud sometimes; that’s not something I’m not used to hearing but I didn’t think it annoyed people, is it annoying?” 
The words were falling from her lips faster than Remus’ mind could keep up with; but after a few seconds the words had processed.
“It’s not annoying, not at all,” he said, tilting her head up slightly so that their eyes met, “Why don’t you start from the beginning?” 
So she did. 
She explained what had happened a few nights ago; that a handful of students had said that she was too friendly and nice to everyone; that she was too bubbly and should learn to not talk as much, and the nicknames she called people, like honey were just weird. 
And that was all because she offered to help them with an assignment.
“I was…I was just trying to help,” she continued; picking the skin around her thumb anxiously.
“I know and there is nothing wrong with that,” Remus stated, taking her hands in his, “you don’t have to shrink who you are just because other people can’t appreciate how brilliant you are,” 
“I’m not brilliant,” she mumbled, her thumbs rubbing along the side of my knuckle.
“Yes, you are,” he argued; though his tone remained soft, as his thumb traced over her bottom lip.
 “You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest and most beautiful person I have known and even that is an understatement,” he breathed, unknowingly closing the small distance between them; until their lips were almost touching. 
He glanced down at her lips, before meeting her eyes, silently asking her if this was okay. 
She didn’t say anything; she simply closed the distance between them herself. 
The initial shock of her lips on his made him stumble back a little; thankfully it was not enough to break the kiss; he wished his lips could heal her hurt, he wished he could kiss the pain away and show her just how amazing she was in his eyes. 
“You are amazing,” he breathed in between kisses before placing one last kiss on her forehead, before pulling her back into his arms, “and I will always remind you of that.”
Tagging
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curseofhecate · 1 year
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Dating James Potter would include...
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James Potter x Reader
Headcanon
0.2k
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He loves cuddles. He'd use any excuse to cuddle with you.
He'd wrap his arms around you as a greeting everytime he sees you.
He'd also kiss your cheek. It's like a way of his to say 'Good morning'.
Sirius would tease you two non stop.
So would Remus and Lily.
He'd get excited over small things, like walks around the castle, as long as it was only you and him.
He'd plan every single one of your dates.
Probably have weekly dates on an established days (Saturday evening dates for example).
Automatically becoming a member of the Marauders.
Being really close with Remus. He'd get jealous over the bond you two have.
Sirius would complain you're stealing his boyfriend.
Him and James would flirt with each other when you two ignore them, just to make you jealous but in reality you would just try not to burst out laughing bacuse they were making fools out of themselves.
He'd try to get you to prank the rest if the Marauders.
He's overprotective and gets jealous easily.
He'd walk you to your classes, even if you don't have them with him.
Resulting in him being late in his classes.
He'd sent you little notes in the middle of classes.
You'd get him study with you, promising a kiss as a reward.
You'd stay up late, making plans for the future.
He'd try to impress you in every way possible.
He'd demand a 'Good luck' kiss before every match of his.
Lots of 'I love you' and 'you're my world'.
That man loves you too much for his own good.
He'd make sure you know how much he loves you all the time.
Compliments.
More compliments.
That man's love language is words of affection, really.
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moonlitmeeks · 1 year
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bee ! i see your bbf remus x sirius’s slytherin sister and i raise you to:
bbf sirius x remus’s hufflepuff sister
idk where this came from but yeah . ✨idea✨
lizzie!! this is my first bbf!sirius post somehow, so thank u for your genius<3 as a hufflepuff, i’m all for this! this is just. a stream of consciousness. but ill come back to the idea when my mind works better DHSKDJ. thanks for the idea love!! 🫶
this is sirius we’re on about, so of course there’s a ton of teasing, both concerning your house and your brother. he goes on and on about how you can’t possibly be related remus, cause you’re so sweet and kind, and moony is always moody and snapping at him. must be the hufflepuff in you, is what he always says. he loves to play around with your tie, fiddling with the material between his fingers and saying he might borrow it one time, just to shake things up. he laughs at your distraught expression, assuring you he’s only kidding… mostly. when you pout at him, he tells you to stop huffing and puffing, a joke he uses extensively and finds just as hilarious every time.
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garfieldsladybird · 1 year
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIRIUS BLACK!!!
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WE LOVE YOU PADFOOT!!!
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wastelandmoony · 11 months
Text
Déjà Vécu: Chapter Fifteen
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Chapter Fifteen : Hollow
Summary: Feelings are happening =)
Characters: Remus Lupin/Reader, Sirius Black/Reader (no use of y/n), James Potter, Petter Pettigrew, Regulus Black, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, Lily Evans
Warnings: Minors DNI, 18+ only!, angst, anxiety/overwhelming feelings, language, mentions of death and self harm, mentions of abuse, mentions of drinking.
Read on AO3
Companion Playlist
Déjà Vécu Masterlist
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
June 22nd, 1973 
She was delusional to think she had made progress with Sirius Black. After everything that had happened, everything that had come to the surface; after his birthday when he shared his scars, and when he confessed his parents cruelty amongst the seclusion of his bed curtains. At the end of the day, they were opposing forces, her pulling and him pushing away. No amount of spilled secrets or clandestine confidence would change that. 
James was upset by how Sirius had acted under the quidditch pitch, apologizing to her on his behalf incessantly. 
“You’re not the one that needs to apologize, Jamie,” she said in-between bites of toast at breakfast one morning. She’d been sitting at her house table ever since Sirius’ comment. She had been reminded of her place, and it wasn’t amongst them.
James raked an exasperated hand through his unruly hair, “He’s just…stubborn, and kind of an idiot, I’m sorry.”
Before she could add on more negative adjectives to describe Sirius Black, Professor McGonagall cleared her throat at the lectern at the front of the Great Hall. 
“Good Morning students, your attention for just a moment please. As the end of term is fast approaching, could I have all rising Third through Fifth year students see me to receive their Elective Selection Form. Please return these to my office no later than June 28th. A reminder: think hard about your future career path, this will determine which classes to pursue.”
She rose quickly out of her seat as soon as McGonagall took her place on the dais, James following close behind and still trying to talk her down. 
Engrossed in the paper chart in her hands, she returned back to her seat and began to read through the course offerings. After a few moments, she felt the familiar lingering presence of James Potter sitting back across the table. Doubling down on the effort to focus on her own selection form, she ignored him entirely. 
Third-years were able to choose two new electives, the first of her choices being Care of Magical Creatures. She was re-reading the descriptions of Divination and Ancient Runes when the boy across the table pushed his chart towards her. 
“What’d you pick?” The voice did not belong to James Potter.
She looked up, brows furrowed at the familiar yet unexpected voice of Remus, “How long have you been here?”
He shrugged, “Ten minutes, give or take.”
“Where’s James?”
“Went back to our table, mumbled something about Sirius being a prat. Any idea what that’s about?”
She couldn’t tell him the truth, she had made a promise to the rest of the boys to keep the animagus plan a secret. “I mean…he’s always being a prat, so it could be anything.”
Remus smirked, reaching over to grab her chart, “So what’d you choose?”
“Care of Magical Creatures, but I’m stuck on whether to choose Divination or Ancient Runes…”
“If it helps, I chose Runes as well…we could help each other study? Divination is a joke anyway.”
She laughed, “You don’t think it’s interesting?”
Remus scowled, “Predicting the future with tea leaves and cards? It’s absolute rubbish.”
Looking back down at his chart, she looked at his other choice, “…Arithmancy? That’s supposed to be really difficult.”
His eyes flicked to hers, flashing gold briefly in the morning light, “Luckily for me, I love a challenge.”
Looking past his head, she groaned, “Ugh, speaking of challenges…”
Snape was drawing closer with Regulus by his side. He was explaining something to the younger boy, Reggie listening intently and nodding along. As the two Slytherin’s passed, Severus spun around, face filled with unsettling amusement.
“Ah, look Regulus,” he drawled, “the muggle convention is having their monthly meeting!”
Reggie let out a dry laugh while she rolled her eyes.
“Very original, Severus. Truly, some of your best work…” she droned. 
“What’s that? I couldn’t hear over the sound of Lupin’s incessant panting over you.”
She looked up at Remus’ face, blushing red and staring intently at the wooden table. 
“At least they’re mating with their own kind,” Regulus snarked. 
What the fuck was that supposed to mean? 
“Don’t you have something else better to be doing, Reg?” She looked him in the eye, choosing to ignore the comment altogether.
Regulus’ face hardened, “What did I tell you before about speaking to me directly, mudblood.”  
Remus was standing before Reg could take another breath.
“What the fuck did you call her?” His scarred hands were clenched so hard they were white. The Hufflepuff prefect heard the commotion, quickly walking over to stand between the boys.
“You two,” he pointed at Severus and Reg, “go to your house table. And you,” he motioned to Remus, “if you cannot behave in a civil manner, I’ll have to ask you to leave as well.”
Remus sat back down, fuming as Reggie and Snape walked to their table smirking. 
She pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes as Remus turned his attention to her. 
“What was he talking about?”
“Hmm?” She hummed.
“Regulus said ‘telling you before’. What happened before?” 
The tone of his voice made her breathing quicken. 
“He uh…we had a run in on the train…after winter break…”
“…He’s called you that before, hasn’t he.”
The protectiveness in Remus’ voice raised the hair on the back of her neck.
Snapes words echoed in her head: Lupin’s incessant panting over you.
She shook it off, all of it. Snapes comment, Remus’ tone, the increasingly overwhelming question of where to place the emerging feelings in her chest.  
Nodding a confirmation, she watched Remus clench his jaw. 
“Please don’t say anything, especially to Sirius,” she begged.
“You need to tell him, he needs to know what his brother is doing—“
“It won’t change anything, it’ll just hurt him. Please Remus, don’t say anything.”
He shook his head, gazing over towards the Slytherin table, “If he comes near you again, I’ll kill him.”
———
September 1st, 1973
Remus wrote her constantly. So much that her hand had started to cramp halfway through the summer from holding a pen almost every waking moment. She’d begun to try to respond with her non-dominant hand, teaching herself to write with both just in case. For each full moon that summer, she sent Remus drawings and the usual poem. Doodles of constellations and celestial bodies filled the pages, the stars watching over a sleeping wolf, a crown of wildflowers on his head. 
She didn’t hear from Sirius all summer, something that didn’t come as a surprise after what he had told her in secrecy after Christmas, but it still hurt nonetheless knowing they hadn’t spoken since before school let out. The anger was still there, though it was now being clouded by worry. He could hate her all he wanted, call her every name in the book, but at the end of the day she would still lay in bed and hope that he was alright. 
James and Peter invited her to Diagon Alley again, shopping for their third year supplies with the help of Mrs. Potter. From the window of every shop, she looked for Sirius. 
Little progress had been made in the animagus plan, with James explaining their difficulty in finding dew that had not seen sunlight or been touched by human feet. She didn’t say anything, having already said her piece last year. They were going to do it regardless, but a part of her was little happy that they were finally getting a taste of how difficult the process actually was. 
———
The walls of the train compartment were closing in on her. Remus sat beside the window, reading quietly while she tapped her foot nervously. James, talking to Peter about quidditch or something (she stopped listening ages ago), would dart his eyes over to her anxious body every few minutes like he was waiting for a bomb to explode.
Sirius wasn’t there yet. Flashbacks from last year ran through her mind on a loop. Walburga’s pinched expression; Regulus’ cold stare; Sirius’ scars. She wanted to cry, the sensation of which was beginning to choke her to the point of taking strangled breaths. 
Remus reached across the compartment and took her hand, squeezing it reassuringly, “He’ll be here, I promise.”
You can’t promise that, she thought, but the words were stuck in her throat. She didn’t know what time it was, but from the way James was checking his watch, it had to be close to 11. Maybe Sirius’ parents had kept true to their word, maybe they really did send him away this time. How would they even know? She couldn’t ask Regulus, not after Remus’ threat from last year, (not that he would tell her anything anyway).
As the crowd on the platform began to thin, the compartment door flew open.
Sirius was grinning from ear to ear.
Like a dam breaking, air filled her lungs.
“Alright lads?” He smiled at them, never landing on her. She didn’t even care, the only thing that mattered was that he was okay.
The atmosphere in the compartment eased greatly, the boys falling into jovial conversation immediately as Sirius sat down next to James. She didn’t involve herself, just happy to sit amongst her friends.
“—I have to say mate,” James laughed, “You seem a lot more…relaxed than you usually do after spending time at home.”
This made Sirius smile even bigger, “I think I’ve turned a corner.”
“…with your family?” Peter chimed in skeptically.
Sirius nodded, “When I first got home, it was the same thing as usual,” he rolled his eyes, “but by the middle of July…it had all just…stopped.”
“They just ignored you?” James furrowed his brow.
“Not entirely. They spoke to me whenever necessary, but the rest of the time they just let me do whatever I wanted.”
Remus shot her a concerned look from across the compartment, “What brought this on? What did you do?”
Sirius crossed his arms smugly, leaning back against the seat, “I may or may not have…redecorated my room a little…”
The four of them stared at him.
“…I put up some Gryffindor quidditch banners with a permanent sticking charm…”
James’ expression was somewhere between shock, alarm, and pride.
“…as well as some…muggle posters,” Sirius’ smile was borderline unhinged, something that wasn’t lost on Remus.
“What kind of muggle posters, Sirius…” he asked slowly.
Sirius waggled his eyebrows, “Muggle women. They’re wearing rabbit ears, Mum had a fit when she couldn’t take them down.” 
Remus’ eyes almost shot out of his head, “YOU PUT PLAYBOY CENTERFOLDS ON YOUR WALLS PERMANENTLY?!”
James and Peter were both staring between them confused while she sat in the corner trying to stifle a laugh. Sirius met her eyes for a split second, sparkling with mischief before he quickly looked away. 
Remus sighed, running a hand through his hair, “You’re lucky they didn’t kill you.”
Sirius shrugged, pulling some money out of his pocket as the candy trolley stopped outside of their door. He bought them all sweets without asking, tossing boxes around the compartment happily. The last package he threw was to her. 
Peppermint Toads, her favorite.
———
As the train pulled into Hogsmeade Station, the five of them stood and began to collect their various bags and items, quickly throwing on their robes in the process. Swinging a leather satchel strap over her shoulder, she gave the boys a small wave as she headed out into the corridor, “See you lot tomorrow or something, yeah?”
Sirius stared at her with mild confusion, following her outside the compartment “You’re not sitting with us for the feast?”
She turned around, mimicking his confused expression, “I—I didn’t think you wanted me to?”
Sirius scoffed, “What?”
“Sirius, we haven’t spoken in months…”
He raked a hand through his hair, which had grown even longer over the summer (an obvious choice to piss off his parents, no doubt). 
“I know, I was a complete arse to you, it was unfair of me. I just…talk before actually thinking through things…”His face softened as his eyes fell sheepishly to the floor. 
“You can’t keep taking your emotions out on other people, Sirius,” she whispered, and his blue eyes snapped up.
“…I know…” his voice was soft, but an edge of annoyance was begging to break through, “Please, sit with us, it’s not the same without you.”
Any leftover anger she had for him melted away. Sirius seemed to have a way of softening her that none of the others did, not even Remus, and she couldn’t figure out why. It was alarming sometimes, how easily she bent to him, how often she found herself gravitating towards him like a magnet. 
The corner of her mouth twitched upwards in a smug grin, Sirius gingerly pointing his wand at her robes and transfiguring them scarlet, and the five of them reconvened to make the journey up to the castle together. 
———
To an outsider, you’d never know she wasn’t a Gryffindor, not by the way the rest of the house greeted her when she sat down with the boys. Marlene practically shoved Remus out of the way to occupy the seat beside her, wanting to hear all about her summer, while Lily leaned over to participate (much to James’ pleasure). Just as they all got settled, Mary came over and squeezed in beside Sirius, whispering something in his ear that made them both laugh. The sound caused her to divert attention away from Marlene and Lily, glancing over just in time to see Sirius brush Mary’s hair behind her ear. 
The sinking feeling in her stomach from last year came back immediately. 
Maybe once she ate something she’d feel better, the only thing she’d had so far was the chocolate on the train. 
Mary met her eyes, “Hiya! Good summer?” Her voice was like honey, smooth and sweet.
She nodded, returning a friendly smile as Dumbledore rose to the podium for the start of year address. Every year he gave a speech to kick off classes, mostly a bunch of fluffy sentiments about friendship and academic excellence, but this year it was different. He spoke of unity, of coming together and working towards a harmonious future. The hall was silent as he spoke, the majority of students faces solemn as the headmaster implored them to seek out the light and follow it passionately. 
They all knew the implication. 
They couldn’t escape the war, not even at Hogwarts.
———
November 3rd, 1973
Mary was becoming a more prominent fixture in their group. It wasn’t a problem, it was just…a lot. It had finally become public knowledge that Sirius and Mary were an item, and soon after, the PDA began. Sirius it seems, had been reduced to a one handed man, his less dominant appendage always attached to her body in some way, shape, or form. When they did separate, which was rare, the other was not so far removed, leaving only a few fleeting moments of normal conversation until they were all over each other once more. 
The worst was the snogging. 
It started at Sirius’ birthday party, which happened to fall on a Saturday, meaning that he was on another level knowing he didn’t have to wake up early for classes the next morning. After a third go-around of his new record (a band called Queen, who were beginning to make waves in the muggle music scene), the rest of the common room had had enough for the night and were begging for someone to replace the album with something else. Because she had gifted the vinyl to him, she took the responsibility to try and sneak some new music onto the record player. Pushing through the crowded Gryffindor common room, she searched for Sirius to ask if she could go dig through his collection. After two trips around the room, sifting through bodies and dodging drunk 7th Years, she realized he was gone. 
“I’m just going to look through his records and ask for forgiveness later,” she said to Remus over the back of the couch. 
He looked up from his game of exploding snap with James and Peter, “Do it, I’m sure he won’t care. Dorm door is unlocked.” 
She nodded, weaving her way upstairs towards the boys room.
The music was too loud, the fourth rendition of Keep Yourself Alive ricocheting off the stone walls. It was so loud in fact, that she didn’t hear the noises coming from the top of the spiral staircase.
Pressed against the railing was Mary, Sirius seemingly eating her face alive. Their hands were everywhere, and the sight made her stomach flip. Averting her eyes as best she could, she slipped past them unnoticed, sneaking into the boys room and picking up the first record she saw: Aladdin Sane. With the image of her two friends intwined, she ran downstairs and quickly threw the record on, returning to sit beside Remus on the couch. 
“Alright?” He looked over, having removed himself from the game with the other two. 
She nodded quickly, “Yeah, why?”
“You’re breathing heavy, and keep glancing back at the stairs. Did something happen?”
Feigning ignorance, she shook her head, “No, I’m just—I ran down here, I couldn’t listen to Great King Rat again…”
Remus chuckled, throwing an arm over the back of the couch as they watched a card explode in Peter’s face. 
She’d begun to doze off towards the end of Side 1 of Aladdin Sane, sinking further into Remus’ heater-like body on the couch. At some point, another student must have flipped the record, because a short time later Sirius came bounding down the stairs when the opening chords of The Prettiest Star began. 
“This is my song!” He leapt over the back of the couch, landing aggressively close to her sleeping body.
The sudden assault jolted her awake, Remus (who was half asleep against the arm of the sofa) reached over to punch the birthday boy in the shoulder. 
Sirius laughed, dodging the hit, “Oh come on! There’s no sleeping at my party!” 
He began to jump on the cushions, leading to a low groan from her. 
“Come on, Yellowjacket, dance with me!” He grabbed her arm and pulled her unwilling body off the couch while she held back a smirk. She could never say no to him.
Her limbs felt heavy as they wound around his neck, the beckoning call of sleep echoing from the couch. Sirius began to sing out loud, though it might as well have been directed at her by the way his eyes never left her face. 
“Where’s Mary?” She mumbled sleepily, resting her head on his shoulder as they swayed. 
“Went to bed, she’s like you lot—her fun energy expires at midnight.”
She swatted him lightly, “Not all of us strive to live like rockstars, Sirius.”
He laughed lowly, “Damn right!” 
Spinning her one last time as the song drew to an end, he placed a kiss to her forehead before they separated. 
“Happy birthday Siri,” she whispered before retreating back to Remus’ side.
———
She’d like to say that Sirius’ birthday was the only time she had stumbled upon him and Mary snogging. 
She’d like to say that it was a one-time thing and that the two of them had learned their lesson.
But she couldn’t.
It seemed like almost every other day, one of them was running into Mary and Sirius sucking face behind a statue, or in a vacant corridor, or even on the common room sofa. Even James was becoming annoyed, which didn’t happen often, especially with his best friend. 
“I need him focused,” he grumbled as he sat down across from her and Remus in the Great Hall for lunch, “He almost fell off his broom the other day during practice because she showed up in the stands. We have a big match against Ravenclaw in a few weeks, he needs to get it together.”
She didn’t contribute, just kept her head down and picked at the food.
“I just wish there was a way to know where they were, like a map of safe hallways, that way I wouldn’t have to walk into them practically eating each other’s faces off,” Peter groaned.
Remus’ perked up beside her, “Pete, that’s…that’s actually a brilliant idea.” 
Peter beamed across from them, as Remus dug through his bag for something, eventually resurfacing with a folded up piece of parchment. 
“Remember last year, when I told you all about my…problem?” His voice tapered into a whisper as he glanced between her, Peter, and James, who all nodded in response.
“Sirius had said something about wondering if there were more secret passageways throughout the castle…and there are,” Remus unfolded the parchment to reveal a map of Hogwarts, sketched out roughly, with random annotations and comments scribbled throughout in different colors of ink. 
The four of them absorbed all of it while Remus continued to speak, “I’ve been working on this since then, adding things as I find them, just for fun—definitely not for nefarious purposes—“ he gave her a quick glance before smirking devilishly, “but Pete, what if we could find a way to add location markers to people in the castle? What if we could actually track where people are coming and going?”
She met his eyes and smiled, “A homonculus charm might work.”
Remus grinned wildly, “You’re a genius.” 
“I just—“ she let out a resigned sigh, “—I need you to solemnly swear to me that you’re not going to use this just to cause mayhem all over the castle.”
The three boys looked at each other, telepathically choosing their next words wisely.
“I can promise none of it will be traced back to you,” Remus shot her a wink, the other two giddy with excitement, “there’s actually a new finding I want to test out, if you’re all interested…”
James looked at him through his lashes, clearly intrigued, “What’s your theory Mr. Moony?”
“I think there’s a passageway to Hogsmeade…and if I’m correct, it leads directly under Honeydukes.”
Peter almost jumped out of his seat, James’ eyes sparkled. 
———
“I can’t believe you did all of this without me,” Sirius hissed from under the invisibility cloak. 
They finally had the chance to tell Sirius about the map, after he had returned from what was clearly another rendezvous with Mary. Though ecstatic about the map idea, he was visibly put out at the notion of the four of them conspiring in his absence.
“Stop whinging,” James shushed him from the front, leading them towards the third floor, Remus squished close behind with the map in his hands. 
“…maybe if you came up for air once in a while, you’d be included in things,” she whispered to Sirius beside her, who proceeded to stick out a foot and trip her. Stumbling forward, she quickly grabbed onto Remus’ jumper, who angrily spun around.
“Oi! Knock it off, both of you!” He growled, causing her to shrink back in embarrassment.
“Sorry Moony…” Sirius grumbled, she glared at him.
“Jealousy isn’t a good look for you,” he whispered.
She scoffed, mouth agape as she turned towards him, “Jealousy? Is that what you think this is, Black?”
The smug grin on his face said it all.
“All you do is snog your girlfriend in your free time now, you’ve completely abandoned us, this has nothing to do with jealousy.”
As the words came out, she prayed he believed them.
She prayed she believed them.
———
January 2nd, 1974
After winter break, James called an emergency meeting. They all knew what it was about before he even opened his mouth. The mood had grown incredibly dark, mimicking the desolate icy landscape outside of the castle windows; the war was drawing closer.
“He’s gaining followers at an alarming rate,” James spoke lowly from the end of his bed, the rest of them piled around the dorm room, faces grim as he spilled everything he had found out about the war from his parents. 
“There’s been more attacks, more than the Prophet is reporting,” Peter chimed in from his bed, gripping a pillow tightly to his chest.
“Dad thinks they’re afraid to write anything more, scared of retaliation,” James frowned. 
Across the room, Sirius was staring at him, stone-faced. She knew he was thinking of his family, and whether or not they were involved in any of this. The urge to go over and sit with him surged forward, but her legs felt like cement, her body heavy with dread.
“What about our side? Can we help?” She frankly had no idea what kind of use a bunch of teenagers would be, but she had to try.
James shook his head, running a frustrated hand through his unruly hair, “No, I ask Mum and Dad constantly. They tell me to focus on school, and enjoying my time at Hogwarts.”
After a few quiet minutes, Peter shifted uncomfortably on his bed.
“Is it true what they’re saying…that you-know-who is recruiting…dark creatures?”
From behind her, Remus bristled, sitting upright from his lounging position on the bed. 
She’d never wanted to kill anyone more than she wanted to kill Peter Pettigrew in that moment. 
James shot him a reproachful look, and from Pete’s expression he had clearly realized his mistake.
“What do you mean by ‘dark creatures’…” Remus asked cautiously, eyes narrowing.
She reached over and placed a calming hand on his leg, mentally pleading with him to relax. 
James cleared his throat awkwardly, “He’s been reported to be recruiting vampires, some giants, and…” 
“Just say it, Potter,” Remus growled.
“Remus, please,” she whispered.
“No, I want to hear him say it. I want to hear what other dark, dangerous creatures we should be on the lookout for.”
James held up his hands in defeat, “Mate, it’s not like that—“
“Say it!” Remus stood up, and she could see that his hands were shaking.
“…werewolves. He’s recruiting werewolves. There’s been an increase in attacks—“ 
Before James could finish, Remus was storming out.
“Way to go, you fuckin knob,” Sirius chucked a pillow at Peter’s head.
She quickly jumped off the bed and followed him down the stairs, calling his name while he exited through the portrait hole. 
“Remus, please, wait!” She was out of breath from trying to keep up with his long strides.
“Leave me alone,” he grumbled, never breaking gait to look at her. 
She let out a fake laugh, “We both know that’ll never happen.”
Continuing on, she jogged to finally come within arms reach. Launching forward, she hugged him tightly from behind, forcing him to stop walking. They stood in the empty corridor silently, with her face pressed against his back, arms snaked around his middle, while he stared ahead fuming.
Eventually, she felt him soften, hands finding their way to grip hers. She let go, and he spun around to face her, pulling her back in for a proper embrace.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her hair, “It’s just…hard to be reminded of what I am sometimes…”
“…and what exactly are you, Remus?” She pressed her cheek into his chest.
“Dangerous. A monster—a dark creature…something that certainly shouldn’t be allowed in functioning society—“
“Remus John Lupin,” she looked up at him, eyes hard and demanding, “You are the antithesis of all of those. You’re my safe person, the one I trust more than anything. You’d never let anything happen to any of us.”
“Those people…the ones they’re attacking. He’s trying to build an army,” Remus’ voice was strained as he said it. 
Her blood ran cold. 
Forcing herself to speak, she gripped the back of his shirt for stability, “He can’t guarantee they’ll join him though, just because they were changed doesn’t mean they’re automatically on his side. They’re still people, they still have free will and a good conscious—” she looked back up at him, “—even if they’ve been dealt a shitty hand.”
“Regardless, he’s ripping their lives out from under them. There’s no resources for them, there’s no future. It’s not like the ministry is lining up to hire people like me,” his laugh was dry and emotionless, “The only option is to find any semblance of stability and hope it sticks.”
She felt him hug tighter, knowing that along with the other boys, they were the only stable thing in his life. She thought of four-year-old Remus, transforming alone for the first time; his tiny screams of agony ricocheting off the walls of the cage a father built to contain his son. The confusion he must’ve felt, the fear; she didn’t understand how he had survived, more so—she didn’t understand why the rest of world had no sympathy. 
“It’ll be different, I promise,” she whispered, burying her face into his chest to stop the tears from forming, “I’ll fix it, I’ll fix all of it.”
Remus shook his head, “You can’t promise that. Werewolf Support Services at the ministry are almost non-existent, and you can’t reap any of them unless you’re registered anyway, which is problematic at best.”
“I know that, which is why I’m going to fix it,” the statement was punctuated with finality as she pulled back to look at her friend, “After school, I plan on working for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, specifically the Being Division. I want to reform the entire Werewolf Support branch, I want to make the actual change that is so long overdue.”
Remus stared down at her, eyes searching hers for any bit of humor or anything to let him know she was joking. He found nothing but sincerity.
“When did you decide this?” 
She shrugged, “Last year. You saw my elective choices, remember? How did you not put it together?” 
He grabbed her face in both hands, “You don’t need to do this for me…”
“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for all of them, all of the innocent lives altered by this terrible affliction, but also by the stigmatization the ministry enforces.”
Remus smiled slowly, kissing her forehead, “How did I get so lucky to have someone like you?”
“Right place, right time, I guess,” she giggled, wrapping him into another hug. 
———
March 9th, 1974
“Ugh, gross—“
“How long is it going to go on for?” “Are they even breathing?”
Sirius and Mary had been going at it by the fireplace for the entirety of Remus’ birthday party, much to the disgust of the rest of the common room. The only person who didn’t seem to mind was James, who was too preoccupied in planning his next move on Lily Evans. From the sofa, he stared dopily at her across the room. She was with Marlene near the entrance, laughing at a joke that Frank Longbottom was currently enchanting them with. When she caught James staring, her entire expression dropped into an icy scowl, spinning so that the only view he would get was the back of her head. 
Watching the entire thing, Remus patted James sympathetically on the shoulder, “Tough luck mate.”
“Little does she know, I could stare at the back of her head all day and never tire,” nothing fazed James Potter. He was hopeless.
She rolled her eyes just as Mary shifted to straddle Sirius on the rug, “I need to get out of here, there’s too much…obsession happening in this tower.”
Remus rose when she did, “Wanna go upstairs? I’ve got a hidden stash of Honeydukes.”
“Oh! That sounds great, I can give you your birthday present too!” She grabbed her bag off the floor and followed Remus upstairs. 
Flopping down on his bed, she searched the contents of the bag for a carefully folded parcel. From the foot of the bed, Remus tossed boxes of chocolate onto the quilt as he found them buried in his trunk. 
Finally procuring the expertly folded bundle of parchment, she held it out excitedly to him as he sat across the bed. 
Remus shook it jokingly, “What is it?”
“Just open it, dummy.”
He carefully unfolded the parchment to reveal an intricately inked map of Hogwarts, including the hidden passageways they had found. He traced his finger over a delicately drawn picture of the Whomping Willow.
“No offense, but the original map was extremely chaotic. I figured if you’re going to make it more advanced, the foundation needed to be cleaner and cohesive…none of that frantic sketching you had done,” she explained, reaching over to open a chocolate frog.
Remus stared at the map, speechless. After a few silent moments, he mustered out a muted question, “How did you do it?”
“Oh, easy. The library has tons of maps and illustrations of the layout of the castle and grounds, obviously without the tunnels we know of. I added those in from memory.” 
“This is…this is brilliant…” he was still tracing the hallways diligently.
“The best part,” she leaned over to point at Gryffindor Tower, “Look at the common room.”
Tiny dots were inked near where the fireplace would be, each one labeled with a name of their friends: James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black. She watched as his eyes searched for the dorms, smiling when he saw their names as well on two matching dots. 
“I just did us, to see if it would even work. You lot can do the rest, I’m not going to start cataloging the entire student body,” she laughed.
Remus looked at her in awe as he laid the map between them. 
“This is amazing, you’re—you’re amazing…” his eyes gleamed in the dim light of the dormitory, the music downstairs seeping through the crack of the door as she beamed back. 
“It’s not much but—“ she started.
“—shut up, it’s fantastic,” he grinned, “I love it. I love you.”
“I love you too, Rem, happy birthday.”
Even in the low light of the room, she could see his eyes flash gold. 
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, causing a blush to creep into her cheeks. 
Her heart began to pick up speed, as Remus leaned closer.
“Can I try something?” He spoke softly, eyes searching for a confirmation. 
She nodded slowly as he placed his lips to hers. 
Remus was warm. He was steady, with a mix of delicacy and restrained strength that put her heartbeat at ease. Chocolate swirled with cinnamon and butterscotch. He was solace. He was familiar. There was no rush, no urgency to the kiss. But most importantly: there was no substance. There was no spark.
They pulled back simultaneously, staring at one another in question.
After a few tense seconds, Remus spoke, “Did it—“
“—Feel like you were kissing a sibling? Yes.”
They both burst into laughter.
He reached over and grabbed her hand, “I do love you though, that’ll never change, even if it’s not…romantic.”
She smiled, leaning over to place a chaste kiss on his cheek, secretly thankful that their relationship wasn’t in danger of changing. For a fleeting moment, she thought of Sirius.
She wondered if he felt as hollow when he kissed Mary. 
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thyme-in-a-bubble · 8 months
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hi hi ! congrats on 5k! i might be a little late to this but could i get kisses of fire - send me a nsfw request! for either softdom!remus where him and reader wake up in the morning or jealous!sirius after he spots reader in a bar ?
a/n: chose to go with the jealous!sirius one hehe
∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽
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Glaring back at the raven-haired man caging you against the brick wall with his long arms on either side of your head, you scoffed at his audacity as he took a swig of the beer in his grasp, “I thought you said you didn’t want anything serious.”
“Yeah, well that was before I saw you wasting your breath on that douchebag,” he kissed his teeth.
“I was laughing at his joke, not sticking his cock down my throat!” you defended, unaware that he had witnessed the insignificant interaction you had at the bar earlier, “I can’t believe you’re fucking jealous right now.”
“So what if I am, huh?” he took a step closer, his hot breath fanning across your flush cheeks, “so what if the thought of you being with anyone else but me makes me sick to my stomach?”
A shiver promptly ran down your spine at his wistful words, causing your plea to come out sounding breathless, “Sirius…”
Inching even closer, his nose bumped against yours as he uttered, “don’t fucking say my name like that unless you want me to take you right here in this alley…” a wide palm ghosted over your waist in want. 
Gasping at the electric contact, your chin tilted up, tingling lips nearing his as you repeated needily, “Sirius…” unable to help yourself as you then crashed your lips against his, the resounding echo of the deep green bottle dropping from his grasp and crashing against the pavement punctually reverberated throughout the alleyway. 
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© 2023 thyme-in-a-bubble 
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ro-is-struggling · 2 years
Text
Always || Remus Lupin x Reader {marauders era}
Summary: After discovering that he is in love with his best friend, Remus does what he does best: run away. Blinded by fear of rejection for his condition, he decides it's best to push Y/N away before she can hurt him. It's what he's done all his life to protect himself from people's judgment. But after seeing the pain and confusion in the young girl's eyes Remus begins to wonder if it was really a good idea.
i suck at summaries and titles i'm sorry
Warnings: mentions to insecurities, Remus is afraid of the reader's reaction to his lycanthropy so he pushes her away and is kinda mean at one pont, angst, hurt/comort, fluff
English is not my first language
Word count: 5000
Remus had always been a shy boy. Due to his condition he learned at a very young age that he was not like everybody else and that not everybody would accept him for who he really was. The only thing he could do to protect himself from people's rejection was to hide inside himself, isolate himself so as not to give anyone a chance to hurt him. That wasn't what he told himself, though. In his mind, Remus pushed everyone away to protect them from him and the horrible monster he turned into every full moon. For some reason admitting to himself that this was a defense mechanism against people's prejudices was very difficult for him. 
As a result, making friends was something he had struggled with for as long as he could remember. He wasn't very good at opening up to people. Even when he met the marauders, his best friends and the only people he had ever trusted with his biggest secret, he had found it difficult to trust them. His first instinct had always been to run away from anyone who showed interest in him. That was easier than facing the pain that rejection would cause him once they learned the truth. Trusting James, Sirius and Peter enough to be himself when he was with them had taken him time, and he could only manage it because his attempts to get away from them repeatedly failed. 
However, when Remus met Y/N he felt an instant connection. He had seen her occasionally in the halls of the school and in some classes they shared, but he had never spent time with her before they ended up together on a project for potions class. It was then that they started spending more time together and Remus got a chance to really get to know her. And to his surprise he felt at ease when they were together. She was a nice, sweet girl, and she made him feel comfortable just with her presence.
That was something that didn't happen to him often. He was usually terrible at relating to other people. All that went through his mind was the fear of being discovered, of rejection, but for some reason when he was with Y/N his thoughts never took him to that dark corner of his mind. Remus didn't know how to explain it, it was like they had a special connection. She made him feel good, enough to be himself in front of her. 
When he mentioned his strange feeling to his friends one rainy afternoon while they were all bored in their shared room, Sirius was the first to point out that he was probably in love with her. Remus laughed in disbelief and denied such an accusation. James then joined in on his friend's statements, telling him about how he felt when he was around Lily Evans, who he swore was the love of his life. James ended up talking about his feelings for Lily for the rest of the afternoon, venting his love frustrations on his friends once again. As much as Remus assured them that what he felt for Y/N was nothing like what James narrated in such detail, the truth was that he wasn't entirely sure.
And that same night, he found himself tossing and turning in his bed unable to sleep, going over his friend's words in his mind, carefully analyzing his feelings. He only managed to fall asleep after repeating to himself over and over again that he was not in love with his friend, practically forcing himself to believe it. 
Then morning came, and sitting in the large dining room eating breakfast, his heart skipped a beat when his eyes found Y/N in the crowd of students. He was unable to contain a smile, the muscles in his face twitching involuntarily, betraying him as they exposed just how strong his feelings for her were. Y/N smiled back and walked over to him. Remus noticed a special gleam in her eyes and was mesmerized as he watched her hair move, dancing in the air as she hurried to get to him. And that's how he knew his friends were right. As much as he wanted to deny it, the truth was that he was in love with Y/N.
That revelation frightened him because it meant that Y/N now had the power to hurt him, a power that not many other people had. He feared her rejection. He didn't want to lose her. He knew that eventually she would discover his secret, it was only a matter of time. There was a limit to the lies and ridiculous excuses he could make up to explain his mysterious disappearances or the discomfort that afflicted him near the full moon. All who spent enough time around him ended up discovering the truth and she would be no exception. 
Terrified by those thoughts, Remus did the only thing he thought he could do to fix his situation, the one thing that had always worked for him: escape. In his mind getting away from Y/N sounded better than having to face the pain of her rejection. So that's what he did. 
He started small, finding excuses not to spend time with her after school and making sure he had other partners to work with in the subjects they shared. He could see the surprise and hurt in her eyes at his sudden behavior and it broke his heart. But every time he felt the urge to run to her he reminded himself the reason for his action and forced himself to suppress his feelings. He had to get away from her now or he would regret it later.
The first time Y/N noticed that something was wrong with Remus was in a Potions class. When she saw him enter the classroom accompanied by James, Sirius and Peter their eyes met for a moment. She smiled at him, greeting him with a wave of her hand, and to her surprise Remus looked away without so much as a grimace. Then he sat down next to his friends as far away from her as possible. Y/N thought that was strange, but tried not to make a big deal out of it. Maybe Remus was just having a bad morning, it wouldn't be the first time. 
But the next week she noticed that he had stopped talking to her in class. And not long after that he stopped attending her study sessions. They no longer walked around Hogsmeade together like they used to. They barely saw each other in class and barely spoke—only if it was necessary.
Y/N's first reaction was to think that she had done something wrong. Had she forgotten Remus' birthday? No, they had thrown him a party. Maybe she had inadvertently said something offensive and he was upset with her for it? Or maybe she forgot about some other important date?
The more time passed, the more desperate she became to find the reason for her friend's sudden behavior. What had she done wrong?
After much thought, and long talks with her friends, she came to the conclusion that she was not the problem. She hadn't done anything wrong, not that she knew of at least. And if she had, the reasonable thing to do would be to talk about it like the good friends they were, not disappear and wait for her to realize her mistake on her own. So, soon the angst that had accompanied Y/N the last few weeks began to turn to anger. If Remus didn't want to be her friend anymore she had no problem letting him go, but she deserved to hear it from his lips first. And considering he wasn't willing to talk to her then she would have to force him to talk about it. 
Determined to get an answer from her so-called friend, Y/N left her room in search of Remus. She didn't care if she had to go all over Hogwarts to find him, she would gladly waste her afternoon if it meant she would finally get answers. To her luck, the marauders were a very noisy and disruptive group of boys so it didn't take her long to find them. They were hanging out together, laughing loudly enough to be heard from yards away, sitting in the courtyard under the shade of a large tree. Remus was sitting with his back leaning against the tree, an open book in his lap that he was no longer paying attention to because he was listening to his friends talking nonsense.
Seeing him there, quiet and laughing while she was freaking out with each passing day because of him made Y/N's blood flare even more with rage. Angrily, she quickly approached the group of friends and planted her feet on the grass determinedly glaring at Remus while crossing her arms. The laughter suddenly ceased and curious glances from James, Sirius and Peter traveled from the young woman to her friend a couple of times before she spoke.
"Can we talk?" she asked in a sharp tone. 
"I'm in the middle of something, can we do it later?" excused Remus.
"No, I'd rather talk now. I won't take up too much of your time." The tension could be felt in the air. Y/N had her eyes fixed on Remus, watching him intently. He on the other hand was visibly uncomfortable and everything in his expression indicated that he wanted to run away from there. 
"Well, we'll leave you two alone to talk." said James after a few long, uncomfortable seconds of silence. "We'll wait for you in the common room." he warned Remus before getting up from the grass and dragging his other friends with him. 
Remus got up from the ground as well, closing the book in his lap and clinging to it tightly. 
"What did you want to talk about?" He asked her even though he already knew the answer.
"You're really asking me that?" she replied offended. "Are you going to act like you don't know what happened or explain to me what the hell is wrong with you?"
"Nothing's wrong with me." Remus lied. 
"So you've been accidentally avoiding me this whole time?"
"I haven't been avoiding you. "
"I'm not stupid, Remus!" Y/N exclaimed in frustration, drawing the stares of the other students around her. "I don't know what's wrong with you or if I did something to upset you, but I think at least I deserve an explanation." She continued, lowering her tone of voice a little. "I thought we were friends. You can talk to me, Remus."
"That's the thing, w-we're n-not... we're not friends."
"What?"
"We're not friends." Remus repeated once more, breaking Y/N's heart and his own into a thousand pieces. "We work well together in class and you're nice but we're not friends, just classmates, and I don't have to explain myself to you. I'm sorry if you thought otherwise."
Y/N didn't know what to say. She could feel the tears building up in her eyes, but she didn't want to let them out, not in front of Remus. She wanted to scream at him that he was lying, that they were really friends and that she hadn't misunderstood their relationship. Before all this happened she spent more time with him than she did with her own friends. He couldn't tell her now that it was all her invention. But instead of telling him what she really thought, she just kept quiet and pursed her lips. If for some reason he didn't want to be her friend then she would leave him alone.
"Well, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." she finally said, fighting the lump that had formed in her throat.
And without further ado she walked away from Remus letting the tears fall once she was far enough away from him. The hurtful words he had said to her echoed in her mind. She couldn't believe he was capable of saying something like that to her. She was aware that their relationship was relatively new and that their friendship didn't compare to the one he had with James, Sirius and Peter, but that didn't mean it was non-existent. They had spent a lot of time together, shared long and meaningful talks and she felt a connection with him, a spark that until now she believed to be mutual. They got along wonderfully, so why did Remus suddenly feel the need to say those things to her? Something was wrong. Y/N had come to him for answers but ended up with more questions than she initially had. 
But as weird as the whole situation was to her, Remus had made it clear to her that he didn't want her around and she would respect his wishes. If he didn't want to be her friend then she would stop looking for him after school or inviting him for a walk around Hogsmeade. She wasn't going to chase him around the school and beg for his attention, she didn't have the time or patience for that. If he really cared for her then he would seek her out and apologize, wouldn't he?
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The days that followed turned out to be very hard for Remus not only because the full moon was getting closer and closer (only a few hours away to be more exact) but also because of how bad he felt about what he had said to Y/N. He thought things would get easier as time went by, that he would get used to her absence eventually, but nothing was further from the truth. He felt miserable and every time he closed his eyes he could see the look of surprise and pain on Y/N's face when he said those things to her. 
She hadn't approached him again after that last conversation and despite the fact that that was exactly what a part of him wanted, he didn't give up hope that she would fight for his friendship. It was stupid and pointless, but he could do nothing against the desires of his heart. He admired her from afar in class and in the great dining hall when she was not aware of it. He missed her so much and wanted to run to apologize for what he had said to her, but he couldn't do that without explaining his special condition to her. And that was something he wasn't prepared to do. 
His friends could tell the change in Remus's mood. They knew the cause, having secretly overheard their friend's talk with Y/N, but they didn't know what to do to help him. They had told him it was a stupid idea as soon as they discovered his plan to push her away from him. Personally none of them believed that Y/N was going to reject him because of his condition. They didn't know her very well, but from what they had heard she seemed to be a nice, sweet and understanding girl. They doubted she would stay away from Remus if she found out about his lycanthropy. But they weren't able to convince him of that. And now they had to see their friend completely devastated over losing the girl he loved because of his own stupidity.
"Well, maybe he knows what he's doing. After all, lycanthropy is a stigmatized condition." Sirius said, adding to his friends' discussion of what to do to help Remus.
"That's a good point, he lived all these years being a werewolf he must be acting on his experience." Chimed in Peter agreeing with Sirius.
"Yes, that's true. But don't forget that he also feared our reaction to his condition." Spoke James. "Remember how he used to be so secretive and quiet and look at us now! We tell each other everything, we know about his lycanthropy and we help him in the process. He was wrong about us and he may be wrong about Y/N too."
"James is right! He was wrong about us." Said Peter, agreeing with his other friend now. Sirius rolled his eyes at his comment, tired of Peter always supporting every word that came out of James' mouth. 
"I thought you were on my side, traitor" Sirius blurted out in a mocking tone. Peter couldn't respond because they were interrupted by the sound of the bedroom door opening, revealing Remus on the other side carrying a stack of library books in his hands. 
"Your side for what?" he asked propping the things up on his bed. "What did I miss?
"Nothing important." James was quick to say. "We're running late for Quidditch practice anyway, aren't we Sirius?"
"Right, practice! I almost forgot."
"We better get going, we'll be back in an hour and then we'll finish planning everything for tonight, yeah?"
Without another word James and Sirius left the room heading for the Quidditch field. The training took half an hour longer than they expected, but they still had plenty of time to finish planning their escape from the castle to accompany their friend on his night of transformation. They were trying to be very discreet about it and use different routes every month. Luckily they had the marauder's map ready to help them with any inconvenience they might encounter in the corridors of Hogwarts.
As they walked back to their dormitories James noticed Y/N walking down the corridors in the opposite direction to them. As he saw her an idea popped into his head. He wasn't really sure if it was a good one, but he had to do something to help his friend. 
"Hey, Y/N wait up!" he suddenly shouted to get her attention.
"What are you doing?" asked Sirius. "Don't you think this is something Remus has to sort out for himself?"
"Yeah, I'm just going to help him out a little."
"What's that supposed to mean?" he said in confusion, but James didn't answer him. Instead, he walked forward towards the young woman who had stopped walking in the middle of the corridor after he called out her name.
"James?" inquired the confused Y/N. "What's up?
"I wanted to talk to you about Remus."
"I don't have anything to tell you about him."
"I know, but I do." said James. "I heard about what happened between you two..."
"Then you know why I'm not interested in whatever it is you have to say about him." she interrupted him.
"I know things between you two ended badly, I just wanted you to know that Remus is going through a difficult time. Those things he said aren't really his words, that's fear talking. He had a bit of an intense week, but hopefully once this passes and his mind clears he'll realize the mistake he made."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I hope he apologizes to you and I want you to give him a second chance when he does. He's happy when he's with you and I don't want him to lose everything over something stupid."
After those words James went chasing after Sirius, leaving Y/N really confused. She felt that there was a hidden message behind what he had said to her, as if he indirectly wanted to explain to her the cause of Remus' strange behavior. She couldn't stop thinking about it, even lying in her bed in the dark of night. Remus was scared, but of what? He was having a bad week, going through a difficult time... What was it that he wasn't telling her?
Her mind kept flashing back to every little detail of their meetings and talks in a desperate attempt to find the answers to her questions. Maybe she would be able to put the puzzle together and finally understand what was going on. She had all the pieces, she just had to fit them together in the right order.
Suddenly, an idea formed in her mind and then it all made sense. His behavior, his fear, the difficult time he was going through, the reason he had wanted to get away from her... it all fit together perfectly. The clues had been right in front of her eyes all this time and she had never been able to connect them. She felt bad for him, fully understanding the reasons why he had acted the way he had, and regretted being so hard on him, demanding answers when he wasn't having the right time to give them.
Before falling into the arms of morpheus, Y/N promised herself that the first thing she would do in her free time tomorrow would be to seek him out and apologize. She needed to let him know that she would always be there for him, ready to support him no matter what. She loved him dearly and nothing in the world would change her feelings, and it was time Remus knew that.
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The next morning seemed to drag on forever. Classes never seemed to end, each hour passing slower than the last, as if the teachers knew she was in a hurry and spoke in slow motion to waste her time. She didn't see Remus in any of the classes they shared, though she didn't really expect him there. Her friends did attend classes, though they looked very tired. Y/N then wondered if they didn't sleep all night to wait for Remus. 
When their last class was over, Y/N was the first to leave the classroom. Anxious to see Remus, she picked up her pace and dodged the large crowd of students walking the halls. During the course of the day she had kept her eyes glued on James, Sirius and Peter in the hope that they would point her to where Remus would be. That's how she knew she had to head towards the infirmary as she noticed the group of gryffindors sneaking in there more than once between classes. After what she imagined Remus had had to go through the night before it wasn't too far fetched to think that he was in the infirmary. 
Once there, she managed to get in without a problem since Madam Pomfrey wasn't at the entrance to greet her. She only had to follow the sound of laughter to find the bed where Remus was lying surrounded by all his friends. He looked a little tired and Y/N was pretty sure he had a couple of new scratches on his face and neck. But he was laughing all the same and his eyes were sparkling with happiness at being surrounded by the people he loved.
"I thought I might find you here." said the young woman clearing her throat to get Remus' attention.
"Y/N? What are you doing here?" he asked, surprised and somewhat alarmed.
"Can we talk?"
A silence fell in the room as Y/N and Remus simply looked into each other's eyes. She could tell the fear in his gaze and it broke her heart at the mere thought that he felt he had to hide part of his life from her in order to be accepted. 
"We'll leave you two alone." said James getting up from his spot to leave, but not before whispering to his friend to calm down and that everything was going to be okay. Y/N smiled warmly and waited for everyone to leave the room before approaching Remus.
"Can I sit here?" she asked him in a soft tone as she pointed to the chair located next to the bed.
"Y-yes, sure, sit down."
She did and then silence took over the room again. Y/N had had all morning to think about what to say to him once she saw him but now that she was in front of him she didn't really know how to begin. Should she be direct and tell him that she knew about his secret or should she pretend and wait until he felt ready to tell her? Should she apologize for pushing him or should she tell him that she understood him and wasn't mad for the things he had said to her? Were her assumptions about him accurate or was it all a product of her imagination?
She was nervous. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and her stomach was turning, but she had to do this. She wanted to let him know that she would always be there for him if he gave her a chance. And for that she had to open her mouth and start talking, so she took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves and let her heart do the rest.
"I wanted to talk to you because I didn't like the way things turned out between us. I know you said we're not friends, but I think that's all bullshit." She began, gaining more confidence with every word that came out of her mouth. "I care about you and I know you care about me too. We have a great time when we're together. I don't care whatever it was that led you to say those things the other day...I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you, to support you, always." She said sincerely. "I don't need you to tell me everything that goes through your mind, but I don't want you to lie to me either. You don't have to lie to me. Just tell me 'I'm sad' and I'll be there to hold you while you cry even if you don't tell me why."
"Don't say that." interrupted Remus speaking almost in a whisper. "You don't know what you're saying. You wouldn't say the same thing if... " his voice was cut off by the anguish he was feeling and he thought it best to stop talking before he revealed too much.
"I do know what I'm saying, that's why I'm saying it." she replied. "You don't have to hide from me, there's nothing in this world that can change the way I feel about you, Remus."
Y/N rested her hand on his and gripped it gently, tracing imaginary figures on it with her thumb. She looked at him with a soft gaze, trying to convey reassurance and to make him understand with her gestures that what she was saying was true. She noticed Remus's eyes glistening with the accumulated tears he probably refused to let out and her heart clenched in her chest. No one in the world should be so afraid to be themselves in front of others. He was a wonderful guy who wouldn't let anyone really know him for fear of rejection and that was really sad. 
"Y-you know about m-me?"
"Yes, Remus, I do. I know why you're here and I couldn't care less." she assured him. "Well, not exactly. I care about your health and well-being but only that, not what you think I care about." 
"Since when do you know?"
"Since last night. James said something to me that got me thinking and then a while later I realized what was really wrong with you. I'm surprised I didn't notice it sooner, it was actually kind of obvious. I guess I never noticed the phases of the moon whenever you mysteriously disappeared or something happened to you."
They both let out a small laugh at that last comment. This time when they looked into each other's eyes Y/N could notice a special glow in his. A glow she could only describe as happiness and relief, as if a great weight was lifted off his back. 
"So you don't think I'm a monster or are afraid to be around me?"
"I think you're a great guy and I love you very much, Remus. Never doubt that."
"I'm sorry for the things I said to you the other day."
"You don't have to apologize." 
"I do because I behaved poorly when you hadn't done anything to me. The truth is that when we started talking I didn't think you would end up meaning so much to me. When I realized how much I loved you I got scared because all I could think about was that you would hate me if you knew the truth about me. And instead of facing my feelings I just ran away from them and hurt you in the process. So I'm sorry." 
"It's okay, I'm not mad. Well, not now that I know why you did what you did. I understand you, you didn't know how I was going to react. You don't have to explain yourself, living in such fear of being yourself because of something out of your control must be very difficult. I just want you to know that you don't have to hide with me anymore." She soothed him with a smile.
"Thank you, dove. I'm glad to know I can count on you." Remus told her, bringing the hand that was still entwined between his own to his lips to plant a delicate kiss. 
The use of the nickname he only used with her brought a warm smile to her face and awakened the butterflies in her stomach. "Thank you for trusting me. But please do me a favor."
"Anything."
"Promise me you'll never do anything like this to me again because all the time we spent apart was horrible."
"I promise from now on I'll be straightforward and honest with you." he assured her. Remus raised his pinky finger at her with a smile worthy of a five year old. Y/N let out a slight laugh, but played along, raising her pinky finger too and intertwining it with his to seal the promise.  "What do you say we have a picnic by the lake to make up for the lost time as soon as I get out of here?"
"I think that's a great idea."
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collecting-stories · 7 months
Text
Treacherous - Remus Lupin
Request: i love you taylor swift song series!! i was wondering if you could possibly write a fic for treacherous using remus lupin:)) xoxo
Summary: After being left suddenly some months earlier the reader stumbles upon Remus in an old bookshop.
A/N: I made this more as Remus being the one sort of, cautious to trust the relationship and then kind of being pulled in because I thought it made for a nice story that way.
TS Anthology Series | Harry Potter Masterlist
...I hear the sound of my own voice, asking you to stay...
"So this is where you've been hiding?" you asked, fingers running over the edge of a cling-film wrapped fudge brownie. You picked it up off the tray of baked goods and set it atop the book you had laid on the counter. A pretty hardback edition of Dracula that you probably wouldn't even crack the spine on but that you would proudly display on your bookshelf. 
You hadn't come up to Tyne upon Wear looking for Remus, obviously. You hadn't heard from him in months and weren't even entirely sure where he had landed after leaving Hogwarts and then James summer cottage. It was an accident of nature, a fluke (though you could hear Peter in the back of your head saying that it was 'fate') that you were here for holiday and that you had walked into this bookstore. 
"I've not been hiding," Remus rebuffed, taking the book and the brownie, his fingers brushing yours. "Who told you that?"
You shrugged, "no one. I just assumed, I mean, this isn't exactly close to anyone." You knew Sirius had gotten a flat in London and Lily and James were talking about Godric's Hollow. Peter was in London too but you felt like you rarely saw him these days, though more than Remus. 
"My nan's from this area," he replied, eyes never straying from the till. He'd seen you outside the window, staring a book on display, partially obscured by the sign painted on the glass. Hiding seemed like a marvelous idea, ducking down behind the counter or slipping behind a bookcase. Marvelous but impractical, probably, at the very least unprofessional. And besides, he was too slow to act. He felt like he'd frozen in place the moment you appeared, as if someone had cast a petrificus totalus spell over him. Remus just stood there and then you turned your head to the side and looked through the window and saw him and smiled. 
When you came into the shop, Remus wasn't entirely sure if the bells he could hear ringing where the ones above the door or the ones in his own head. You hadn't said anything at first, just smiled and browsed around the front of the store, very obviously for show, before plucking a book off a shelf that Remus knew you owned, putting it on the counter for him to ring up. He'd expected you to hate him the next time you saw each other. Perhaps you would yell or give him the cold shoulder or, worst of all, he'd be gone so long that you would move on without him. But here you were and you didn't look upset at all. As if he hadn't disappeared, as if you believed him when he lied and said he wasn't hiding. 
"I don't think I knew that," you looked genuinely like you were trying to remember if he had ever mentioned his nan to you or where in Britain she lived. 
"What are you, uh...what are you doing here?" He asked, moving away from the topic of his family (always a rather delicate matter as you knew) and onto something more important, at least in his mind. You were here and you must've been here for a reason and he hadn't spoken to Lily or James or Sirius or Peter in months which meant that no one could have let on that he was here. No one knew, as far as he was aware, aside from himself and he wasn't advertising the information. 
"Oh, on holiday," you replied. "I was quite influenced by Sirius...or at least that awful monstrosity of his."
"The bike?" Remus asked, eyebrow raising in suspicion, "you've not bought one, have you?"
"No, god no. But I have come into possession of a lovely little green people-carrier. It's quite lovely and I've decided to drive it up the coast to Scotland. Trouble is, I always forget about the petrol until I get going," you explained, "I'm afraid I ran out of gas. A very friendly old man in a funny looking truck picked me up though, picked up the car as well! I believe he called it a tow. How marvelous really, a tow."
"So an empty tank brought you here?" He clarified. How truly like you to forget something so vital but also how like the universe to play such terrible tricks on him as this one. To have you strand yourself on the side of a road just kilometers from him and forced to be deposited into his town. "Where are you staying?"
"A cute little B&B. My room has floral wallpaper and a little tea kettle on a hot-plate. I've not used the hot-plate though the old lady explained it to me...seems very tricky if you ask me. I'd much rather just magic the pot." 
"I don't know of any....that is, I think the town is largely muggles." Remus replied.
"I gathered. Don't worry Remus, I haven't been waving my wand about everywhere I go." You laughed. You took the bag he pushed across the counter, your book and brownie inside. "I missed you quite a lot."
Graduation had felt wildly exciting. All that talk of future plans and goals had never been overshadowed, even when inklings of sadness had crept through at the thought of not seeing your friends every single day for months at a time. You would all be close, you were sure of it. James planned the summer holiday, an almost immediate trip to a summer cottage for a small (though large at the final head count) group of friends to avoid saying anything like goodbye to each other right away. 
The summer cottage had been lovely and you and Remus had only just begun dating each other before the holiday, still shy about each other in the way that new romances are. It had felt exciting, to be away with him. You'd been friends for so long, seven years, and then you were dating and suddenly it was like everything was new and you thought it would all last forever. But then you'd woken up on the last morning at the cottage and Remus was gone and you didn't see him again. Until this very moment, in a tiny bookshop in a little seaside village of muggles. 
"I'm sorry," Remus began to say but you shook your head, stopping him from saying anything more.
"No need to be sorry," you promised. You'd experienced a vast range of emotions in the days and weeks and months post Remus' departure. Ultimately though, you knew your friend well and knew that (despite Sirius always getting the credit for being the one most prone to dramatics) Remus could be very dramatic when he chose to be. Disappearing was not as surprising as you would have liked it to be when you actually thought about it and had resolved yourself to the knowledge that should he choose to, he would show up again. He couldn't stay disappeared forever. And you were mildly thrilled to know that you were right about that, though he was found out against his will, completely by accident. "You're not as unpredictable as you might think Remus."
"I wasn't trying to be unpredictable," he reasoned, "I just-"
"I know." You cut him off, "I've had ages to think out all your reasonings and arguments and I've reenacted them all with myself. I can't imagine you could argue your case any better than I already have," you explained. "Now, what time does this little shop close?"
"Why?"
"Because I just told you that I missed you and I'm certainly not planning on walking out the door and leaving and not seeing you again Remus. In this singular case I would use Peter's reasoning and say that this," you gestured between the two of you, "is certainly fate. I'm not one to ignore fate, should think you wouldn't want to either." 
Remus sighed, shoulders relaxing as though he were giving up a fight and probably, he was. "About an hour. I need to sweep up when I'm done. And there are a few books left to put away."
"Oh well, that's much too much work love, I simply can't wait that long." You joked, looking around the shop. You and he were the only ones in there. "Shall I browse around or can I have a stool?"
"I only have the one," he replied, side eyeing the stool that was placed beside him behind the counter. He wasn't sitting on it and hadn't in the entire time you'd been there. 
"Is it a prized possession?" You joked, "or am I just not allowed behind the till?"
Remus shrugged, "you are."
You came around the side of the counter, placing your bag down and sitting on the stool beside him. You fished the brownie back out of the bag and carefully removed the cling-film, "are you allowed a snack on the clock?"
"You don't really have to wait here," Remus said, taking the brownie piece from you and popping it into his mouth. 
You watched him for a moment, suddenly well aware how many 'little things' there were about him that you had missed. Minute details like the satisfied smile he always gave away without knowing when he ate something sweet. Or the way he brushed his thumb across the tips of his fingers, ridding his hand of invisible crumbs. 
"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked, realizing that you were watching him, cheeks staining a lovely pink at the attention. 
"I am committing you to memory, in case you should disappear again."
"I didn't mean to leave you...I mean," he sighed, hands clasping together as he cracked a few of his knuckles. You noted a newer looking scar on the back of his left hand. Your boy was never careful with himself when he was alone. 
"Relationships as scary for everyone Remus," you replied. You had already been through all these conversations, you wanted to remind him. You knew what he would say. "Sometimes you just have to decide it's important enough to do the scary thing."
"How philosophical of you."
"No need to be mean to me," you replied, hearing the edge in his voice. 
He shook his head. Taking a box of books that was sitting behind the counter, Remus passed you and walked around the counter, out to the middle of the shop. You watched him disappear behind a bookcase, going to house some books and avoid further conversation on the topic of his leaving. You knew it was a sore subject for him (Remus was quite talented at making almost everything a sore subject for himself) but it wasn't easy for you either. He was the one who had left but you were the one who was left behind. 
"Do you love me?" You think aloud, turning in your stool to try and see Remus down an aisle. You can hear the soft rustle of books stop abruptly and then he appears, as tall as the case itself, eyes wide as he stares at you from behind the fringe that hangs in his face. He looks surprised, perhaps caught off-guard and you aren't really shocked. He'd told you plenty of times that he did, over and over for months from the week after you began dating until the early hours of the morning in James' summer cottage, hours before he left you. 
"What?"
"Do you love me?"
"Why would you ask me that?" Remus questioned, tongue darting out to lick his lips nervously. 
"Because I want to know the answer," you offered, "do you love me?"
"Of course I love you," he finally replied, frowning. 
"Well, it's hard to know Remus, you did leave after all."
"You said you weren't upset about that." He reasoned.
"No, I believe I said that I'd already given myself all your arguments. I considered that maybe you didn't love me and that was the reason. A clean break...I only considered it for a moment though, you wouldn't have left everyone like that if you didn't love just me," you explained, "so I thought about it and I decided that you did love me."
"Then why ask?"
You ignored his question, continuing your explanation instead, "you love me but you're ridiculously afraid of that."
The look he gave was particularly sour, as though he was trying to be mad but couldn't quite bring himself to stop being embarrassed at having been caught out long enough to succeed in being angry. "What's your point?"
"We've been friends since we were eleven, sitting beside each other on the train. And I've known about you since third year," you reminded him, "so what are you afraid of?"
"We all have our own lives now," Remus argued, as if that was actually a legitimate reason for leaving everyone behind, "you don't need to be burdened with-"
"You know I love you also," you said, cutting him off, "I hate when you say things like that. Burdened, as if I'm not actively choosing to sit here with you and ask that you give it another go."
"It's different out here. There is no shrieking shack. Sirius, James, Peter...they have their own lives. They can't be dropping everything whenever it's a full moon. We can't go on this way forever." 
"You may not, you said yourself that Dumbledore told you there was a potionist working on something for-"
"It wouldn't stop the transformation...if it works," Remus replied, "I just, wouldn't lose my mind. And you'll remember that Dumbledore said it would be extremely difficult to come by and even harder to make." He pointed out. 
You sighed, standing up from the stool and walking over to him, "always the pessimist. What are you afraid of?"
"I've told you," he took a step back, as if he were afraid that you might cage him in.
"Not really," you argued, "you've given me plenty of excuses though. I'm not afraid of you, Remus, and none of your friends would ever leave you alone with anything. You know that." 
"I can hardly find work. I've been here four months and missed countless days, if it did any real business I doubt they'd want me around. How can I contribute to any sort of relationship if I can't even work. Not to mention that afterward I'm," he glanced at the newer scare on his hand and you knew what he meant, he used to spend days after in the infirmary when you were at Hogwarts, "and I've a terrible temper, which I know you are aware of, and you were right before I was being mean, and I still haven't quit smoking and I have a terrible diet. Can hardly keep anything down these days, I'm always nervous. And I don't like to go out and I'm not very romantic and I have terrible insomnia-"
"I know all of these things about you Remus," you replied, cutting him off as he rambled. 
Remus sighed, setting the books in his hands down on the shelf and then, unsure of what to do with himself, reached for your hands (which you gave willingly). "I have very little control over most things in my life and I...as trifling as it sounds, I'm quite terrified of giving up control of my emotions," Remus admitted, "suppose that's what I'm afraid of after all, allowing myself to love you. God, I sound like some tragic muggle novel."
"You sound very honest, and not trifling at all," you replied, "you're allowed to be afraid Remus, but you've got to vocalize these things. Running off to a little corner of England alone isn't a very good solution. Don't punish yourself...or me for that matter."
"I know." 
"Besides," you mentioned, tugging his hands gently so that he moved closer to you, so close in fact that you had to tilt your head just slightly to look him in the eye, "you know me well enough to know I'll take supremely good care of all your parts, heart very much included."
He hummed, "good to know." He leaned ever closer, to give you a kiss and to relish in the sensation of being kissed by you, something he had not allowed himself to enjoy for months and now wondered how it was he had managed for even an hour. You were right, and he wasn't surprised by that fact at all. He had been afraid and could still feel the grip of that fear in the back of him mind, no matter how distracting (or reassuring) you managed to be. "I do love you," Remus admitted again, "very much. My leaving...it wasn't because of you, and I never meant to hurt you. I didn't...I didn't think I would."
"You didn't think I would be absolutely gutted?" 
"I suppose I was trying not to think too much about it at all," he replied, honestly. Remus wasn't nearly as daring as James could be, or Sirius for that matter, but he liked to think that in most aspects he was willing to take a risk. It was in the matter of giving himself to some that he found he struggled. If he gave too much away, what would be left of him at departure (and he was always expecting a departure). He'd given all of himself to his friendships, to James and Lily and Sirius and Peter. How could he risk anyone else being granted the ability to hurt him?
But then, you'd been more than willing to take that risk, wholly unafraid of one year or four years or ten years down the road. You weren't thinking in endings, only in right then. And right then you loved him (though probably tomorrow you would too. And in one year, four years, ten years). 
He kissed you again, because even the minutes between when he had just kissed you and right at the moment he did it again felt like it had been too long. He'd missed you terribly and he hadn't really let himself acknowledge it until he'd seen you through the window. 
"I do have to finish closing up," Remus admitted, pulling away from you. 
"Do you?"
"You can help," he replied, "stop distracting me."
"I'm not being distracting," you laughed, "if anything you're the one who's distracting." 
"How so?" He let go of you and moved back toward the box of books, beginning to sort through them. 
"How so?" You repeated the question, a tone of disbelief in your voice as you stared at him. "Well I would tell you but I doubt that you would believe me."
"Probably not," he admitted, knowing his proclivity for self-deprecation. 
You shook your head at him, looking about the small shop, "alright where's the broom then? I'll sweep up," you said, "no magic, I suppose?"
"No magic."
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cupids-crystals · 2 years
Text
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Marauders
James Potter
Remus Lupin
Sirius Black
Lily Evans
Jily + Wolfstar
Regulus Black
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nerdblob · 1 year
Text
Regulus: personally, i think i have what you’d refer to as a comforting dual personality
Regulus: i’m passively homicidal…
Regulus: and i say thank you to automatically opening doors
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dreaminginpastels · 2 years
Note
hi, lovely!! i absolutely LOVE your writings! i was hoping i could request a young remus lupin x reader where the two are best friends, but harbor feelings for one another and both are too shy to make a move— then one night playing a drunken game of truth or dare in the common room with the girls and the marauders things get ✨fluffy✨ (bonus points for a plus size reader 👀💖)
hiccups and hijinks
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pairing: young!remus lupin x plus size!fem!reader
summary: upon encountering an unfortunate bout of the hiccups, remus attempts to cheer you up, only to land the two of you a bonus assignment that ruins your respective Hogsmeade plans. rather than let the opportunity go to waste, the marauders and friends plan a surprise night of revels with fluffy consequences.
warnings: mentions of insecurity and self-doubt (in the form of the saddest summer nights from Grease boy/girl groups montage), but otherwise mostly fluff
reader pronouns: she/her (by request)
word count: 3.5k (I know! who even am I?)
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*✧ harry potter masterlist | main masterlist | ask | taglist ✧*
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You had a fit of hiccups. In Potions of all places. Because of course you did. You had hoped they would pass on their own - in an ideal world, they would disappear without so much as an odd glare from a classmate. Instead, they had persisted for about 15 minutes and with each minute that passed, you wanted to sink deeper and deeper into a hole.
The only comfort that you had was your best friend Remus, who, sitting beside you and keenly aware of your anxiety about being the centre of attention, had attempted various approaches to stop your hiccups without drawing attention - to no avail. He had now shifted to trying to make you laugh with witty comments and bad impressions of Slughorn under his breath. This had done nothing other than add mellifluous giggles on either end of your continuing bout of hiccups. To your surprise, it also provided an unmistakable blush on Remus’ cheeks.
You were preparing to tease him about this observation when Slughorn suddenly cleared his throat, embarrassed after having heard Remus’ unflattering impressions, and sarcastically asked that the two of you keep your clearly amusing discussion for your free periods. Your face now matched Remus’ blushing cheeks, much to the amusement of the rest of the Marauders and your best friends, Lily, Marlene, and Mary.
You tried desperately to focus on the class, but kept getting lost in Remus’ enchanting eyes and reassuring smile. You had fallen for him, hard, but had no idea if he felt the same. Yes, he went above and beyond to comfort you, would often end up sitting near you when your friendship groups hung out, and never went to Hogsmeade without surprising you with breathtakingly thoughtful gifts, but he was such a beautiful person that you were convinced he would do the same for anyone in need. That’s how big his heart was. 
In your most vulnerable moments, you’d lay in bed wondering if you’d captured his heart the way he’d captured yours. And no matter how much your friends insisted that you must have, there was always a tiny seed of doubt in your chest. You’d decided that until he confessed to your face that he had feelings for you, that you would leave it alone in your mind. But that was proving to be easier said than done with his unrelenting charm and devotion to lifting your spirits.
He turned now towards you, utterly mortified to have brought attention to you; the one thing he was desperately trying to avoid.
“y/n, I’m so sorry-” he whispered, only to be cut off by another of your hiccups which were now increasing in volume and frequency; much to your mutual chagrin. He thought for a moment before continuing, “Do you trust me?”
You nodded rather than replying audibly, paranoid at the thought of bringing on another hiccup.
Remus smiled and reached out to hold your hand as he used his other to subtly raise his wand under your shared desk. He muttered a charm under his breath and you suddenly felt elated - on top of the world - and even more miraculously, your hiccups had vanished.
With a brief glance at Slughorn, who had turned to his textbook to respond to a question, you nudged Remus playfully. You weren’t sure if it was your sudden giddiness but you felt the words flow too easily out of your mouth. “Okay I am so indebted to you! Have I mentioned that you’re an amazing friend? I would be so lost without you. I’m so lucky that you’re such a genius. I don’t know what you did but I feel amazing! What charm did you use? We should party! Okay, we’re in class, maybe now isn’t the best time but we should celebrate!”
He chuckled at your rambling, dimples appearing as he studied your face with an intimacy you were convinced had never been there before. He leaned close and whispered, “I cast a cheering charm. It’s a type of counter-charm for hiccoughs so I thought it might work for you too. I’m so glad it did. Also, you tell me I’m an amazing friend literally every single day, it’s me that never says it enough to you.”
As he pulled away, you stared deep into his eyes and gently caressed his hand, running your thumb up and down across the back of his hand to the knuckle of his index finger. His eyes widened in surprise, but he leaned into you; evidently cherishing your touch. You were about to earnestly thank him once more when you suddenly erupted into a fit of giggles. Subtle at first, you could keep them under your breath, but within a minute or so, you couldn’t hold them in. They were loud, and disruptive enough that Slughorn gave you a secondary warning to no avail. The harder you tried to repress them, the stronger they came until Slughorn’s demeanor suddenly changed. With a flick of his wand, your giggles stopped, leaving you mortified and on the verge of tears. You turned to Remus, wide-eyed, only to find him mirroring your exact expression.
“y/l/n, Lupin,” he sighed as he glanced between you. “Stay behind after class.”
Remus felt like the scum of the Earth. All he ever wanted was to protect you from pain and embarrassment. Merlin knows he understood how tiring it was to loathe yourself day in and day out, and the day he’d met you, he vowed to do whatever he could to keep you from enduring the same fate.
As the two of you parted ways after speaking to Slughorn, you’d insisted that it wasn’t his fault and that you’d appreciated his efforts to stop your hiccups and cheer you up. He knew objectively that you would never lie to him, but despite his best efforts to believe your reassuring words, he could feel a shame spiral coming on. Fighting the demons in his mind, he sought out his fellow Marauders; the only people he knew he could always go to when his brain tried to pull him under.
“Moony, what in Merlin’s name was that in there?” James demanded as he threw an approving arm around Remus’ shoulders. Squeezing his upper arm in jest, he leaned closer to his friend’s bemused face. “Trying to cement your status as a mischief maker without the help of your dear pals?”
At this, Remus couldn’t help but break a smile. He could always count on James’ playful teasing to drag him out of even his worst mental states.
As usual, it wasn’t long before Sirius joined in the fun. “No, no, my foolish James, you are mistaken! We are in the presence of Sir Remus Lupin, gallant knight and fierce protector of fair maidens from the evil clutches of the hiccup monster.”
Midway through his proclamation, Sirius descended on a knee for dramatic effect, sending Peter into a hysterical fit of giggles while Remus rolled his eyes, smirking with amusement.
James instantly removed his arm from around Remus and joined Sirius on bended knee, each raising an arm to toast their friend with imaginary chalices, as they declared, together and loudly, “All hail Sir Remus, protector of fair maids!”
Graciously bowing, Remus bid his friends stand, grateful for their ridiculousness, “You know, sometimes I swear you two meet in private to rehearse this nonsense.”
Nervously glancing at each other, James and Sirius decided it best to spin Remus around and lead him towards their next class, eliciting amused chuckles from Remus and Peter.
“So, Remus, what did Slughorn actually want?” Peter piped up.
“I’ll be furious if we missed your knighting ceremony.” James quipped, smirking at Sirius.
Remus sighed. He figured he could only keep his head in the clouds for so long. “He assigned y/n and I this ridiculous homework task-”
“Hold on.” Sirius interjected, stopping in his tracks. The Marauders stopped alongside him. “Did I just hear Moony, our Moony, just use the words ridiculous and homework in the same sentence? Boy, you must be real smitten.”
Remus rolled his eyes, if only to distract his friends from the blush now coating his cheeks. “He set us an essay on ‘the ethics of everlasting elixirs’-”
“That’s not so bad!” Peter tried, reassuringly.
“-that’s due in three days.” Remus finished with a knowing look at his friends. “Which means…no Hogsmeade for me this year.”
James gasped dramatically. “But Moony, you were going to-”
“-finally tell y/n how you feel this trip!” Sirius finished for him, a sad look passing between the jokesters.
He nodded, crestfallen. “I guess it’s a sign? Maybe I’m not meant to tell her - she’s way out of my league anyway. I knew I never really had a chance.”
“Merlin, you’re a moron.” Sirius muttered under his breath. “That girl adores you, Moony. Has done since that first trip to Hogsmeade when you surprised her with that chocolate daisy that you had specially made. I know you have a world of demons in that head of yours convincing you otherwise but open your damn eyes for once and realise that you deserve happiness as much as the next man. Unless the next man is James or I - you’re a much better person than we are.”
“Hey!” James feigned annoyance, playfully punching Sirius in the arm before returning his attention to Remus. “Okay but seriously, Padfoot is right. You deserve love Remus - exactly as you are.”
Remus scoffed, prompting James to lay a hand on his shoulder. Searching Remus’ eyes, he lowered his voice and asked in a sincere tone, “Do you trust us?”
At that, Remus pulled away - his eyes failing to leave the ground. “I do, but I can’t do that to her. She deserves a love that I can’t give her.”
Running a hand through his hair, he sighed, defeated. “Merlin, I can’t even cure a bout of hiccups without making her worst fears come true. Look, I appreciate you boys but I really just…need to not think about confessing to her for a while. I owe her that.”
“Hey, this isn’t so bad!” Mary started, “I know it’s no Hogsmeade, but it’s three days spending quality time with Remus. If you look at it that way, it’s practically a dream come true for you!”
You sighed, patiently. “I know you mean well, Mary, but it’s an impossible assignment. We’ll be lucky to get it done at all…”
“Okay, what kind of sadistic lunatic sets an impossible assignment to two sixth years for uncontrollable giggling in class?”
At Marlene’s serious tone, you couldn’t help but chuckle - which only encouraged her.
“I mean, seriously, it’s like he’s got no life. Wasn’t he young and in love once?”
You gulped and looked around erratically, before scolding her. “Would you keep your voice down? Anyone could hear you!”
She rolled her eyes, “What, scared that Remus might hear me? Merlin, wouldn’t it be awful for him to realise you’re as madly in love with him as he is with you?!”
Lily giggled at your pouty face. “You’re adorable. I know you don’t see it but Remus is a twit if he doesn’t notice. Plus, you two are probably tied for the Wizarding World’s biggest heart. Would you just give the guy the benefit of the doubt and tell him you adore him?”
You looked into the supporting faces of your friends, and practically crumbled with appreciation. “I love and appreciate every one of you, but you’ve got to understand.This stuff? It doesn’t happen for me-”
“Hey, now-” Mary started, trying to comfort you.
“-No, it’s true. And that’s okay. I’m not ashamed of who I am or the way I look, I’m just saying that it’s a reality for me. I’m not the one that can make a guy weak in the knees with a wink-” You smirked at Marlene.
“-I’m not the one that guys ask out again and again because they can’t get enough of my witty banter-” You turned to Lily, who smiled sadly at you in reply.
“-and I don’t have the ability to love myself no matter how much others try to make me feel inadequate.” You smiled gently at Mary, who seemed touched at your words.
“I don’t know if I could handle rejection from one of the people that I love most in this world,” You picked yourself up from the floor of the Common Room where you all sat, and headed towards your dorm. Turning back to your friends, you sighed sadly. “I hope you can understand.”
Returning from their trip to Hogsmeade, the Marauders and girls went to check on their friends who had been cooped up in the library almost non-stop over the past few days, only to find the most adorable sight imaginable.
Intending to dramatically announce their entrance, Lily had a split second to cover James’ mouth as she noticed you and Remus slumped over on your joint study desk. She gestured to the rest of the company with her remaining index finger over her lips and crept towards the desk for a better view; eliciting a disappointed groan from James as she removed her hand from his face.
As they reached the desk, they noticed you and Remus laying against each other, snuggled adorably, surrounded by mountains of textbooks and a half-written Potions essay. Lily gestured to the group to head back out to the hallway, where they devised the perfect plan - they would give their hardworking friends a much-deserved break with a night of revels. Assigning responsibilities amongst themselves, they keenly departed to prepare what would surely be a night to remember.
“Wakey-wakey lovebirds!”
You stirred gently only to realise that you were snuggled into Remus’ chest, with his arms protectively around you. He woke a moment after, and seemed similarly embarrassed by your intimate embrace. Your mutual moment of tenderness was interrupted by the boisterous face of James, beaming in front of you with a knowing smirk.
Sighing in annoyance to hide your embarrassment, you looked up at James. “Welcome back, how was Hogsmeade?”
With a hand across his forehead, and another on his heart, James dramatically replied, “Awful without my two dear friends! The butterbeer didn’t taste as sweet, the chocolate was bitter…”
You and Remus rolled your eyes in sync, to James’ amusement, before Remus replied. “Wonderful. What do you need from us?”
“Your presence is requested at the Common Room - the two of you have been working far too hard and deserve a break full of jollity!”
The two of you exchanged a look, but before you could insist that you had plenty more work to do, Lily entered the library to check on James’ progress, and, noting that you were still seated, grabbed you by the arm and dragged you out of the Library - leaving the two boys to assemble your textbooks and follow you.
When you arrived at the Common Room, you were greeted by enchanted decorations, plenty of snack foods and alcohol, and the lively dancing and enthusiastic chatting of your friends, who were currently scattered around the communal space.
You spent the night circling the room, talking with your friends about their Hogsmeade trip and the progress that you and Remus had made with your assignment, and stealing longing glances at Remus every chance you got. Usually you could keep your aesthetic appreciation of the boy in check, but a few beers and you were finding it hard to tear your eyes off him. Sirius clearly noticed, and had on more than one occasion wiggled his eyebrows at you knowingly when he caught your eye. A few hours into the night though, and he’d had enough. Sighing, he moved to the centre of the room and loudly proclaimed a game of truth or dare. You rolled your eyes, but nevertheless moved with your friends to join the large circle that now filled the room.
“Alright, how about you begin, my dear Moony?” Sirius asked, amusedly.
Remus gulped and turned to James, “Prongs, truth or dare?”
“Dare, of course.” He winked at Lily, eliciting an audible groan in response.
“I dare you to serenade a person of your choice for 3 minutes.”
“Why Remus, it would be my pleasure!”
Lily turned to you and retorted, “This is going to be the longest 3 minutes of my life.”
Chuckling, you gave her a pat of reassurance and had another sip of your beer, thankful that Remus hadn’t chosen you.
After a few rounds of entertaining truths and dares, the inevitable happened.
“Moony, my love.” Sirius cooed, turning to Remus. “Would you care for a truth or a dare?”
Shaking his head in defeat, Remus replied, “Dare, I guess?”
Sirius laughed mischievously. “Excellent. I dare you to go into our dorm room and tell y/n your biggest secret.”
Yours and Remus’ eyes opened wide in unison as you stared at each other across the circle, before reluctantly standing up and heading to the dorm room.
Once seated on Remus’ bed, you turned to him and placed a comforting hand on his leg - the alcohol making you bolder than usual. “Rem, you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. I don’t want to force something sensitive because of a stupid dare from one of our moronic friends.”
He smiled gratefully for a moment before glancing down to your hand on his leg, lost in thought. “No, I- uh, I’ll tell you. Yeah! I can tell you.”
You smiled encouragingly, squeezing his leg as you looked up at him tenderly. “Hey, it can’t be worse than the time you finally mustered up the courage to tell me you’re a werewolf, huh?”
He laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’d think not, right?”
“Hey, you were worried I’d be scared away when you told me that, and I’m still here, right? And I always will be, no matter what’s about to come out of your mouth. You’ve been there for me in some of my toughest times, you’ve never judged me for how I look or the things that I say and do no matter how embarrassing, and have always comforted me when I needed it most. I’m not going anywhere, Remus.”
Something in your speech caught Remus’ attention. “Sorry, uh, the way you look?”
You sighed, “Yeah, you’d be surprised at the number of people that don’t even take the time to get to know me because I’m plus-sized. It’s always meant a lot to me that it doesn’t seem to matter to you.”
Instantly placing his hand on top of yours and looking deep into your eyes. “It’s not an issue for me. It’s never been an issue for me. You’re beautiful y/n. I’ve always thought so. And not just on the outside, which, you absolutely are, but who you are. You see the beauty in everyone and make even the most…uh…undeserving people feel seen and valued. It’s just one of the things that makes me utterly love you.”
Your breath caught in your throat. Remus looked up at you nervously, searching your eyes for some glint of hope that you felt the same way, that his leap hadn’t been for nothing. That you wouldn’t abandon him the way he feared you would. He could feel a tear running down his cheek, as grateful as he was to have finally told you how he felt, he was so damn scared that you’d leave him.
Noticing the tear, you quickly moved to the dorm room door and opened it, summoning an item from your room before closing it again and rushing back to Remus on the bed.
He looked up at you with an expression that broke your heart, as if you held his heart in your hands. You reached up with your free hand and gently wiped the tear from his cheek and smiled up at him tenderly. “I was going to save this until after we finished the essay as a thank you for putting up with me, but I think it’s best that I give it to you right now. To show you how much I completely, unconditionally, love you, Remus John Lupin.”
He leaned forward then in expectation and relief, unbelievable fondness etched across his face in an expression so intimate that you could barely believe it was just for you. Keeping your eyes locked to his in a tender gaze, you used your free arm to turn his hand while you reached around and placed his gift into his now outstretched palm. You indicated that he should look down and, following your lead, he reluctantly broke your gaze to glance down at the chocolate rose in his calloused hand. 
This caused him to break into joyful tears as he looked back up at you in disbelief and fondness at the gift reminiscent of his first innocent profession of love to you so many years ago. You smiled gently at him, “Eat. You’ll feel better.”
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a/n: hello lovely, thank you so much for your request (and for your beautiful words 🥰) this one made me so happy when I saw it - especially because I’m plus-sized and remus is my all time favourite fictional character  ☺️ I’m so sorry that it’s taken so long for me to get around to writing it but I hope that it’s everything that you wanted it to be! please feel free to request again and to let me know your thoughts 🧡
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to my dear followers, I’m so sorry that it has been such a long break from my last story! I was in some theatre shows that took pretty much all of my time, attention, and energy, but now I’m back and really missing writing so please feel free to send in asks and/or requests, or just say hi! really excited to do some more frequent writing on here, and I’m so very thankful (as always) for your support. I love and missed you all 🤍
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