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lushaletta · 5 months

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hide with me / james potter

pairing: james potter x fem!reader

warnings: mild swearing, mentions of mental health/anxiety, reader has a panic attack

summary: poorly written drabble in which you have awful anxiety and a lovely james.

a/n: i feel like this feels unfinished i’m so sorry… i clearly lost steam by the end but i hope you all like it! i am such a sucker for some james

⋆ ࣪. ⁺⑅ ⋰˚ *.ﾟ .˳⁺⁎˚ ˚⁎⁺˳ . ༺ ˖࣪ ˖࣪ ∗

It feels like the world is caving in on you. The ceiling is about to fall down and crush you under its weight.

The voices of those around have all mixed and faded into each other into a jumble of noise. You don’t quite know what Lily is saying, not even sure what Marlene is doing; you can hardly see anything.

A laughable attempt at taking a breath has you panicking more and you stumble out of Alice’s living room and onto her front patio as hot, salty tears sting your face.

The reason as to why you’re suddenly in this state has you confused. One moment, you’re fine and the next, you’re in full breakdown mode.

Fresh air. That’s usually all you need. You let the scent of pine fill your lungs, grounding yourself on the railing. You’re fine, you try to repeat to yourself. You’re fine.

“Hey,” a voice calls out. You whip around and spot a head of dark curls and pretty hazel eyes.

Him. You don’t know whether you’re happy or sad about his presence. There’s a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and he looks gorgeous as ever.

You’ve liked James a long time. Much too long. He’s liked Lily for longer.

You’re sure he knows about your feelings, you’d done a poor job at keeping them secret, and you’d be surprised if at this point he was unaware.

Remus knows because you’d confided in him first. He was sweet about it, stroking your hair and whispering kind words in your ear. Sirius knows from the “powers of deduction”, as he likes to call it.

“Hi,” he says, putting the cig between his fingers, flicking the ash off.

“Hi,” you reply, a little breathless.

He walks over to you, assessing your state. “Are you alright?”

He’s always been awfully caring. It’s half the reason you like him more than what’s healthy.

James knows your ins and outs. Your family history, all your favourite movies, how many freckles you have. He’s committed every part of you to memory.

He treats you like you’re fragile, like a porcelain doll. As if you’d break when dropped.

Maybe it’s self-righteousness. Maybe he’s doing it out of pity. Though, in this moment, it feels anything but.

“Just fine,” you whisper, staring at him so deeply it’s embarrassing.

“You ran off.”

You laugh a humourless laugh. “Did I?”

James nods, looking like he’s inspecting you. It makes you feel a little self-conscious.

A smile creeps across your face. It’s really only to conceal the awkwardness. “What?”

“I think we’re past the point of pretending everything is alright when it isn’t,” he says, matter-of-factly. “Will you tell me what happened?”

The bluntness of his words makes you nervous. He’s not typically so forward.

“I was overwhelmed.”

His arms lace around your shoulders. “Okay,” he whispers. “Okay, let’s go, then,” he says, decidedly.

It’s a tempting offer. Being dragged away from all the noise and instead spending the night with James, but you don’t want to disrupt his evening with your feelings. He likes these people. He’s comfortable with them. He’s not like you, you say to yourself.

“No. I’m fine, James, really. Please don’t worry yourself.”

“I was kind of getting tired anyway. We can grab food and you can sleep at my place for the night, hm?” he insists, putting out his cig.

He’s doing it again. That thing where he’s just being so considerate and kind to the point that it bothers you.

“I..” you trail off, looking at the stars instead of his eyes. They’re both really beautiful.

“I’d like for you to come with me, sweetheart. Let’s get away. Just for a bit,” he tries again, gently tilting your face towards his.

You’re going to come with him. You were going to the first time he asked, no matter what, but you need to hear that he wants it.

You crack a smile. “Okay.”

Before midnight, you’re in his car. It’s a bit beaten up and the engine takes a couple of tries before it starts, but it’s a charming vehicle. He’s ordering fries for you, doing all the talking you’re so hesitant to.

There are muffled voices over the speaker. “Just a moment.” James turns to you. “Want a coke, baby?”

You nod, tapping your fingers on the window and fumbling with the button of your seatbelt.

He hands you a paper bag.

“Thank you, James. I’m sorry you’re stuck with me instead of with Lily at the gathering.”

His face contorts into a look of slight confusion as he grabs a fry from your hand. “Why would I want to be with Lily?” It’s not that he doesn’t want to hang out with Lily, it’s just that you could’ve asked about Sirius or Remus or even Frank.

“I mean, you like her, don’t you?” you say, voice quivering. Afraid of the answer.

“She’s a nice girl.” It’s not a no. You’re crushed. You nod your head like you’re unsurprised.

A forced smile makes its way onto your lips. “You two would look good together,” you say, hushed.

His brow quirks. “What? No.” It comes out a little sharp, and he immediately softens. “No, it’s not like that. Sorry.”

“Oh.” You hate yourself for it, but you feel your body immediately relax in relief.

Now he’s the uneasy one. His fingers are tapping on the steering wheel and he’s clearly purposely avoiding your gaze.

“Listen—“

“—I’m sorry,” you cut him off. “Sorry, you first.”

The car comes to a stop at some dark parking lot. James turns to face you. “What are you apologising for?”

Even you’re not too sure. It’s a mix of a few things; Lily, forcing him to stay with you, your anxiety, interrupting him, even. A general apology for your.. you-ness.

“All this. I just want you to be happy, James. I’m really sorry for always making you do this. Comfort me whenever I’m overwhelmed like that.”

He blinks. “I’m happy when I’m with you, sweetheart. Why don’t you understand that I enjoy doing this? I love when we escape from those dumb gatherings and do shit like this. I love it. I love you, damn it.”

Your heart drops. No, it stops. He had to be drunk. He was driving under the influence, surely. A crime. That’s a felony. Your head was absolutely spinning.

You don’t know what to do but stare blankly at him as his face asks you to just say something.

“What?”

“I love you! I don’t even know where you got that whole Lily thing. I love you! It’s always been you!”

Well, shit.

You lower your voice to a whisper. “So do something about it, Potter.”

And he does.

#🎞 by.ivy #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #hp imagine #harry potter oneshot #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter fluff #james potter x reader #james potter oneshot #james potter fanfiction #james potter #marauders oneshot #marauders fanfiction #the maraunders map

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grievedeeply · 1 year

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I saw you want requests after playing Survivor

👁👄👁

One shot of Cal running across fem reader that he knew when he was a padiwan (assumed dead)? And realizing why he was always so flustered and agitated by her 🤭🤭

this is so cute i loooove these reunion prompts i'm getting!!

fem!reader (no pronouns used) | tws/tags: death, sorta in depth order 66, use of y/n

JOIN MY NEW TAGLIST!!

they never left — cal kestis

you remembered the day clear in your mind as though it had happened yesterday. the purge. the clones tore through your master as though they were never even there. their last words to you ring true in your mind even ten years later, "run," and you did. you ran, using the force to reach into places they couldn't. you snuck past those who used to be your friends. you thought they cared for you. why had they all had a sudden change of heart? whatever the reason was, you knew you couldn't dwell. it wouldn't do you any good to be miserable.. even if that's all you wanted to do, sometimes.

over the years, you hid your abilities and tucked away your lightsaber for good. you swore to never use the force ever again. your family was gone. the order was gone, your master was gone.. and you couldn't reach out into the force to attempt to sense anyone. it was too risky.

cal. was he gone, too? he was another padawan under the tutelage of jedi master jaro tapal, a kind but intimidating lasat who you had met a few times. but cal.. cal was warm. he was inviting, he was friendly. he was everything an introverted child like yourself needed in a friend. the two of you quickly became rule breakers, sneaking out past curfews and past the temple guards who— looking back on it now— definitely saw you. you snuck out so often to spend time together, knowing that the likelihood of being assigned together on a mission was slim to none, it was the next best thing. maybe even better. at least there wasn't a risk of death, now.

you managed to get on each others nerves often, too. disagreeing and arguing and avoiding each other until you both forgot what happened. though, as you grew older, cal found himself getting more and more.. flustered.. when you were around. his face was constantly red, his palms were sweaty, his chest so tight it practically hurt to breath, and it irritated him. you irritated him. was it your fault? he didn't know. it only happened around you, so it had to be your fault, so he tried to avoid you.

it wasn't as though he treated you poorly. he could never do that. his heart and soul were too kind, too gentle. he didn't have a mean bone in his body.. but he wished you would just go away sometimes, to get that sinking feeling in his stomach to fade as it always did when you left.

now, cal knows what that feeling was. it was the beginnings of a crush. attachment and relationships were forbidden in the order. attachment made you selfish. it lead to jealousy, anger and resentment. a path to the dark side of the force. but now.. the jedi order was no more. it was destroyed years ago, but you hadn't lived to see it.

he heard your name. whispered in hushed voices by people on every planet he visited. your name, and the names of plenty of other jedi. plo koon, aayla secura.. anakin skywalker. but he focused on solely on you. you were killed alongside your master during the purge. you died, and he wasn't there to protect you. he reached into the force over and over, desperately trying to find a trace of you throughout it as time went on, but he found nothing. your death was confirmed, and there was nothing he could do about it.

you were glad word of your death spread fast. it was much easier to hide, and you had to move less often. your life proved more relaxed.. or as relaxed as it could be. despite your supposed death, your world would never be safe as long as you were force sensitive.

this time, kohbo was the world of choice. it was a nice, relatively backwater world in the outer rim. imperial presence, but as long as you kept your head down, you would fit in well. people from all sorts of backgrounds flocked to it. it wasn't like you would be out of place, and that fact was a relief. you'd stick to yourself as you always did, and everything would be well.

you stood, back pressed against the cold stone of the wall as you stared up towards the landing platform. a ship, a S-161 'stinger' XL, sat on the dock. you'd heard that it'd crashed out in the gorge a little ways away from rambler's reach. whoever piloted it knew greez in some way or another, and he'd managed to fix it, along with someone else you didn't know the name of. you didn't much care for their name, anyway. keeping your head down, staying out of trouble, that was the main goal.

until turgle fell off of the platform, screaming as he hurtled towards the ground. before you could even think, you reached out your hand and looked deep into the force, watching as he floated to the ground. his eyes were still closed and he yelped as you caught him, but other than that, he looked confused until his eyes landed on you, your hand extended out in his direction. he might be clumsy, but he wasn't exactly stupid.

you cringed, awkwardly sinking in on yourself as you turned around, ready to go back to your ship and leave koboh and everyone else on this planet behind.. until you heard turgle's voice call out your name.

"you," you heard him come up behind you, out of breath and looking red in the face, "you saved me!" he exclaimed, "with your.. your force magic." he said, eyes wide in disbelief. he stared you down, and you pursed your lips as you stared right back at him. "you're a jedi, aren't you?" he spoke up again, and all you could do was roll your eyes. "ha, of course not. you're just seeing things." you insisted to him with a simple shrug of your shoulders, turning on your heel to leave once again. by now, greez was hot on turgle's tail, his expression wide eyed and excited.

"oh, come on! i saw you," he retorted, "you saved me from imminent death.. and i am in your debt." he told you with a nod of his head, and you sighed. "you don't owe me anything, okay? just keep this quiet and we're even." you responded, and he nodded once again, eagerly. he stood there for a few moments until you raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to leave. finally taking the hint, he skipped away from you and into the cantina.

you let out a groan. turgle could barely be trusted. he would blabber about you eventually, and you didn't want to be around when he did. this place wasn't safe anymore. once more, you turned to leave, but heard the sound of greez clearing his throat. you weren't out of the woods, yet.

you shut your eyes, but glanced over your shoulder at him. his arms were crossed over his chest, but he wore a smile.

"there's someone i think you should meet, kid."

you furrowed your brow. you couldn't exactly say no, could you?

greez led you into the cantina through the back entrance, clambering up the steps through heavy breaths. who could he possibly want you to meet? a million questions ran through your mind as you came out into the main area of the cantina, and he gestured for you to take a seat next to him at the bar. you did so after a moment's hesitation, and you sat there, hunched over in your seat, feeling completely exposed. still, no one looked at you any differently as they did before.

"what am i doing here?" you asked, letting your elbow rest uncomfortably against the bar. greez spared you a glance, but kept at his drink. "someone i want you to meet, s'all." he reassured you, finally turning his chair to face you. you blinked a few times. his words did nothing to reassure you, for all you knew, he could be turning you in to the raiders or even the empire. you sighed, but decided to keep your mouth shut.

you watched the door as people entered and exited, waving goodbye to moran as he left for the night. over the few months you'd been staying on koboh, he was the only one you spoke to regularly. he came off as prickly, but the truth was, he was a sad, lonely man who needed a friend. even if making connections, getting attached, wad a bad idea.. moran was there for you when you needed someone, even if he didn't know it. he returned your wave with a smile, and the door slid shut behind him.

"it's been hours, who am i waiting for?" you spoke up again for the first time since you'd arrived. "any minute now," he reassured you, a knowing grin spread across his lips. what was he even talking abou-

the door slid open.. red hair. you froze in your seat, your hands suddenly felt sweaty and your heart fell into your stomach. the boy you once knew was now a man, but you would recognize his face anywhere. cal. he was alive. you practically jumped out of your seat and rushed into him without thinking, arms wrapped around his midsection in a tight hug. "cal.." you muttered his name under your breath, finally finding your voice as you pulled away to get a better look at him.

he had matured, grown into his features. he carried a newly fashioned saber on his belt, and on his shoulders was a cute BD unit. his cheeks were covered in freckles, his eyes still that same beautiful green, splattered with specks of blue.

"i thought.. i thought you were-" cal said, his voice barely a whisper. "i'm sorry," you told him, "i.. wish i knew you were alive." you continued after a pause, still taking in his new look. he looked.. handsome.

"i tried to find you," he swallowed, "through the force."

that feeling was back. the feeling from ten years ago. his palms were sweaty, and his heart pounded against his ribcage. a crush that never faded, that only grew once he saw how you'd grown. you were incredible then.. but now? you were stunning. his breath hitched in his throat, but he lifted his hand to your face. "i.. i'm so glad you're okay." he whispered to you, and you nodded, a small smile on your lips.

"okay, kids. break it up. you can.. make out later, or whatever." greez cut into the moment, his grating voice ringing unpleasantly in cal's ears. he chuckled awkwardly under his breath but took a few steps away from you. still, his eyes never left your face.

"we aren't.. we weren't-" you said, cheeks flushed in embarrassment at his suggestion. "uhuh.. whatever." he responded, eyes flickering back and forth between the two of you, and you felt as though he saw right through you. for a man as strange as he was, he read people incredibly well. "figured you'd get along. glad i was right." he continued before you had the chance to dig yourself further into the hole in your mind you were forming.

"i'll leave you two alone," he laughed, glancing knowingly between you and cal, a smirk on his face. still, he stayed true to his word and climbed out of his chair, walking out of the front entrance with a skip in his step.

you watched as he left, only turning back to cal once the door closed behind him. your mouth felt dry, and you licked your lips. "you.. um, you have a new lightsaber?" you asked, glancing down at the weapon hanging from his hip. he nodded, "my.. my first one, i lost it during the purge." you didn't reply to his words verbally, but sat your hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"and who's this?" you asked, a smile on your features as you glanced at the BD unit. "oh," cal said, matching your expression even though it seemed as though he forgot the droid was there at all. "this is BD-1," he told you, and you directed your grin at him, "you've been taking care of cal while i've been gone?" you teased, but the droid replied in completely serious beeps, much to his dismay.

"how long have you been here?" cal asked you after a pause, and you glanced around at your surroundings. the cantina needed some work.. and a deep cleaning. you turned your attention back to him, but a sigh fell from your lips. "a couple of months now." his gaze was soft as he stared into your eyes, and he took your hands into his own, grounding himself into this moment. "i heard you were dead, y/n." he muttered. "i.. i know." you spoke, your heart aching at the thought of him mourning for you. "the force.. i couldn't.. i couldn't feel you." he told you, and you said nothing in response, averting your gaze to his hands in your own.

this.. this moment reminded you of your childhood, running around the gardens of the temple with your hands entwined, completely ignoring your assigned training to play for awhile. except now, cal's hands were rough, and so were yours.

"i cut myself off from the force." you explained to him, "i had to hide. i've been hiding.. up until today." you could hear his breathing through the silence of the empty cantina, and he didn't say anything else. instead, he dropped your hands and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.

"i love you." cal whispered into your neck, and you swore your breathing stopped. "what?" your arms fell to your sides, but he didn't pull away. "i love you." he repeated himself, pulling away to look into your eyes. his face was red, but the expression he wore was serious. "how could you.. how could you say that?" you asked, brows furrowed. his hands gripped your shoulders, and he let out a breathless chuckle.

"i've known it for years. when we were kids.. i had the biggest crush on you, and it bothered me. it bothered me how flustered i'd get around you even when you did.. absolutely nothing but smile." he explained, a growing smile forming across his face. "and irritated me. so i stayed away from you, thinking you were the one who bothered me all along." he said.

"but now the order doesn't exist anymore. the code is gone. but my.. my feelings for you- they never left." cal's voice fell to a whisper, "and seeing you now, it just makes me realize it all.. all over again." he took in a deep breath, but kept his eyes trained on your face. "so.."

"cal," you shut your eyes, shaking your head, "you actually felt that way that entire time when i thought you just started hating me for no reason?" you sighed, his lack of response telling you everything you needed to know.

you took a step closer to him, pressing your lips to his for a few seconds before pulling away. to cal, it wasn't nearly long enough. he leaned after your lips, eyes already completely closed as he'd relaxed into your touch. "i love you too. i always have." you told him, the feeling of his lips burned into your memory. they were chapped and dry.. but they fit against yours perfectly.

"really?"

"really."

he grinned, and kissed you again.

tags: @starwalkerwriting @war-in-time

#star wars #star wars x reader #star wars x reader headcanons #star wars x y/n #star wars x reader imagines #star wars x you #reader x cal kestis #cal kestis #cal kestis x y/n #cal kestis x reader #cal kestis x you

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justthoughts1310 · 2 months

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Did Ch.8 Just Confirm that Mitsuki is in love with Boruto (Warning Major Spoilers)????

Okay, this is getting really confusing, and I might be wrong.

I am saying that I might be wrong, because these are raw translations, and we all know raw translations and scans leave much to be desired. Also, the website I'm using has truncated some important pages, so the flow of Ch. 8 is really weird.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

However, chapter 8 may have just confirmed that Mistuki is in fact in love with Bortuo.

Similar to the pre-time skip, Mitsuki does not come out right and state his feelings for Boruto. Someone else (a woman) declares that Mitsuki has romantic feelings for Boruto.

This chapter begins with Eida watchining Boruto and Mitsuki's altercation, and Mitsuki learning that Boruto is actually his Sun.

Delta and Kawaki angerly fly off to find the elusive Boruto, and while they are gone, Mituski returns to the estate.

Mitsuki expresses immediate concerns with regard to Eida's feelings about him temporarily poisoning Kawaki.

Mitsuki then admits to Eida that he is basically in love with her. To, which she tells him that his feelings really are null and void, and she's not here to listen to his declarations of love for her, because of course he loves her. He's under the influence of Omnipotence.

Mitsuki then asks Eida why she loves Kawaki. He actually does one better than that, he questions her on why she even likes Kawaki. He's probably asking Eida this, because Kawaki is an asshole who has never been particularly nice to Eida, and has only ever used her as a tool.

Eida says that she knows that it's love, because of the feeling she gets in her chest when she sees Kawaki. Now, I personally have a theory about this:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ To Eida's knowledge, there are only 3 people in the entire world who can genuinely love Eida. Those people being Boruto, Kawaki, and Daeman.

Now, Daeman is Eida's brother, and Eida sees Boruto as being too young to be considered romantically. I wonder how she feels now that Boruto is a whole smexy ass man (teenager, but you know what I mean).

Now, we the audience know something that Eida does not know. Neither Sarada nor Sumire are affected by Omnipotence. It is actually for this reason, that I believe Eida to have three potential end game pairings: Boruto, Sarada, or Sumire.

Basically, what I am saying is that I don't believe that Eida loves Kawaki, as much as I believe that she loves the possibility of being authentically loved, even if that love is coming from a toxic asshole who treats her poorly and only keeps her around to further his own means.

I digress, back to the chapter.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, Mitsuki (who usually isn't excessively talkative) begins to share all of his thoughts, feelings and confusions with Eida. He is basically talking about how he thought Kawaki was his Sun, but Kawaki was not who Mitsuki expected him to be. However, he desperately held on to the notion of Kawaki being his Sun even though it didn't match his reality.

After talking to Boruto, he's starting to entertain this idea that he can illuminate himself. He then does a Mitsuki-ism, where he says that he guesses that it doesn't matter, but Eida cuts him off.

THIS IS THE PART THAT'S REALLY INTERESTING:

Eida says "We are both in love, huh?"

Now, at first glance, you might be thinking that Eida is saying that she is in love with Kawaki, and that Mitsuki is in love with her, but she's not saying that! We know she's not saying that, because she firmly declared Mitsuki's feelings for her to be invalid and manufactured twice in the last few pages. However, at the same time, she very firmly and unwaveringly declared her love for Kawaki, so when she rhetorical asks Mitsuk, "We are both in love, huh?" She is referring to Boruto.

She is observing, deciphering, and informing Mitsuki that he is in love with Boruto.

Now, you might be saying that Mitsuki didn't know what love felt like until he met Eida, he even said that a few pages prior. I think he says this:

Because his memories are all messed up because of Omnipotence.

Because he has never trusted his only feelings because he is an artificial human.

Eida is quite frankly unconcerned about both of these concerns of Mitsuki. Eida does not see Mitsuki as incapable of love, because she does not see herself as incapable of love. In this chapter, Mitsuki already established that Eida and he are the same. The same in terms of what is not clear. However, he could be referring to the fact that they are both not 100% human: Eida is a cyborg and Mitsuki is an artificial human. Knowing all of this, Eida points out to Mitsuki very clearly that what he thinks love is (his manufactured infatuation for Eida) is not love. What Mitsuki feels for Boruto with Boruto actually being Mitsuki's sun is real love, and that Mitsuki is in fact IN LOVE with Boruto.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mind blowing Chapter!!! I'm sure some people will miss it, but this is the second time that Kishimoto has canonically confirmed within the span of 20 chapters that Mitsuki has romantic feelings for Boruto.

At first, I thought it was just a crush, but Kishimoto has now taken it a step further to establish that Mitsuki is in love. To anyone who thinks that BorutoxSarada is a slam dunk endgame. You may need to rethink that stance, because this chapter just confirmed that Boruto's final love interest really is not all that cut and dry. Also, here's the thing that I will cover in more detail in another post, based on evidence from Ch.7 and Ch.8, I think Boruto is receptive to being Mitsuki's love interest and (dare I say) potentially even his romantic partner.

#boruto x mitsuki #two blue vortex #boruto #naruto #boruto uzumaki #boruto x sarada #mitsuki #sarada #borumitsu #boruto x sumire #borusara #mistuki x eida #eida x sumire #eida x sarada #eida x kawaki #kawaki #kawaki uzumaki #boruto two blue vortex #masashi kishimoto

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admirableadmiranda · 1 year

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I keep seeing the idea that Jiang Cheng is disliked or hated for his actions because "Jiang Cheng Antis” refuse to acknowledge ugly reactions to trauma, or victims who aren’t perfect, basically citing that he should be forgiven more than we do because not everyone is going to react the same to pain and trauma and just because his reactions aren’t perfect doesn’t mean that he should be held accountable for his actions, any of them, and us calling his actions wrong or abuse is us in fact being terrible.

I want to refute this idea for a few reasons:

First off, while I can’t speak for everyone, I know that I and my friends don’t think that his initial reactions being kinda bad are necessarily damning. Nobody is going to be perfect, sometimes when we are stuck in the worst parts of our lives, we do things that we will later regret in the process of surviving those times. It doesn’t really make it okay and we should understand if the people who are around us in those times don’t want to be around us anymore after that, but it isn’t a death knell that he reacts really poorly after the initial fall of Lotus Pier and the death of his parents and everyone he’s grown up with. I have forgiven characters for doing worse, but proving that it was their worst and turning around after that.

The problem with that part is that he doesn’t turn anything around. He never apologizes for strangling Wei Wuxian, he continues to turn the blame for what happened on people who weren’t involved even after getting to kill Wen Zhuliu and torture Wen Chao to death, holding Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and, for a time, Jin Zixuan as also being responsible even though none of them were, even though he knows this and adjusts his opinion later to drop Jin Zixuan out of the blame, even though he later adds Wen Ning to his list of those to blame despite Wen Ning rescuing him from Lotus Pier and sheltering him. It isn’t a worst moment of his life, brought on by trauma and pain, it’s just the start of his sliding slope downward.

Second off is the idea that this should exonerate him of all of his actions. Look at him! He lost his parents and his clan to war by the Wens! He has suffered so much, becoming a clan leader so young in the fires of war!!!

Except... he’s not the only one, not by a long shot. Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen, Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang all have their fathers killed and their homes attacked by the Wens as well. Both Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen also ascend at very young ages, no one was over twenty when they took up their positions, and at the end of the novel, Jin Ling is even younger when he takes on his own clan leader position. Also he isn’t the only one to go into war so young, Wei Wuxian is a whole five days older than he is, and the whole jianghu falls into war against the Wens, no doubt with other fighters who also lost their homes and families in the process.

It isn’t that it isn’t impressive that he manages to pull it together in the face of all that’s happening, it’s that he’s not the only person by any means to suffer this trauma. Wei Wuxian goes through the exact same journey that he does, but when this argument comes up, it’s always just for why Jiang Cheng shouldn’t be blamed, not about how their whole generation lost so much to a war that their parents left to them by refusing to do anything before even when they all saw the signs of what Wen Ruohan was doing.

The third part is that there’s apparently no limit or expiration date on how long people have to forgive him for doing whatever he wants to do. His trauma is a reason for him to treat people however he wants for as long as he wants, and they should just put up with it because he’s suffering and not all pain is beautiful.

But by the time Wei Wuxian comes back to life, it’s been almost twenty years. A whole generation, long enough for Jiang Cheng to watch his nephew grow to almost adulthood. The world as a whole is changed, he himself has transformed Lotus Pier into a whole new place; and it wasn’t because the Wens had destroyed everything, Wei Wuxian no longer recognizes it, meaning that this happened after he died. The general attitude that JC stans have towards Wei Wuxian is that he shouldn’t hold Jiang Cheng leading a siege against him because it’s been long enough, he should get over it by now. But Jiang Cheng apparently should still get to act without hesitation or consideration of others and their own pain because he is suffering, he is an imperfect victim. It doesn’t matter what else anyone else has gone through and it is unreasonable to hold him to task because he lost his family.

The whole point of poor trauma reactions is that they are moments, responses in time to events. It is one thing for Jiang Cheng to react poorly right after his family is killed and his home invaded. But he gets worse over the course of the story. The day of the attack, he strangles Wei Wuxian. That’s one thing. But three years later he turns on Wei Wuxian, declares him an enemy of the world, tells him to let the Wens be slaughtered even though they are no longer at war, later declares war on Wei Wuxian and personally leads a siege to kill him. In the interim, a time of peace in which supposedly all of his enemies are dead, he hunts down people who he claims to be demonic cultivators and people that Wei Wuxian is possessing and tortures them to death, all the while doing very little to help his people as he will only intervene once someone has already died to the problem. When Wei Wuxian returns to life thirteen years after he died, seventeen years after the war, when Jiang Cheng is literally double the age that this began, despite him deliberately trying to avoid Jiang Cheng, Jiang Cheng seeks him out multiple times specifically to hurt him, first trying to kill him with a whip that can destroy spirits possessing bodies, then tying him up and torturing him with a dog. Later he leads a second siege upon Wei Wuxian, who still has done nothing to him aside from try to avoid him before later attacking him and Lan Wangji by first demanding that they leave, then refusing to let them do so, driving Wei Wuxian to a qi deviation (which can be fatal, that’s how Nie Mingjue died) and attacking Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian with Zidian while Wei Wuxian is unconcious before Wen Ning stops him. Even in the temple, he’s still demanding that Wei Wuxian play by his rules of debts, he’s upset because he knows that he has gone so much farther than anyone has any right to and he has nothing to hold over Wei Wuxian’s head anymore.

Fifteen years of hurting everyone around him isn’t a poor trauma response. That’s deliberate and chosen. That is what he wants to do. It is a clear line of events where in the end, the trauma is an excuse over anything else.

If it had ended at the beginning of this list, Jiang Cheng would be a very different character and Modaozushi would be a very different novel. If it were just a trauma reaction and he didn’t want to hurt anyone in the long run, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

But you cannot exonerate everything with the fact that his parents died when he was seventeen. Especially not when we have so many other people who react in so many other ways to the same pain. It is frankly ridiculous that people think he is the only one to suffer in the story, even though it is clear that no one escapes the novel unscathed and a hell of a lot of people die. Sometimes even at his hands or by his orders.

Jiang Cheng is not unsympathetic. I can understand what hurts he feels, at least to an extent. But an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind and he just keeps doing it. And then his stans show up and claim that it’s fine for him to want to kill everyone who he hates (not necessarily everyone who’s even done him wrong, and they certainly like to ignore everything he does to them) because he’s an ugly trauma victim.

He may be that, at the start. But twenty years down the line, when he gets excited at the thought of getting to torture people, that isn’t a trauma reaction anymore.

That’s a choice.

#mdzs #canon jiang cheng #wei wuxian #get back in the antagonist bin #another day another jc stan #long post

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thatsthewrongwallcraig · 3 months

Text

The Boyfriend Experience

Summary: It's all fun and games until somebody falls in love!

Pairing: callboy!Clay Roach x afab!CEO!Reader

Word Count: ~1.8k

Content Warnings: Porn With A Side Dish Of Plot 18+!, Drinking, Oral (F Receiving), Clay Being A Tease, Sex Work, Hair Pulling, Pet Names, Poorly Hidden Feelings, Emotional Constipation

A/N: This one is for @spookyorchid 🖤 Sending you lots and lots of love, hun 🫶🏻

Tagging the horny horde: @crypticsewerslut @quicksilversg1rl @cc-lover @milaeth @roryculkinsgf @spookyorchid @arch1viste @whoareyoi @angelsanarchy @blueberrypancakesworld @rocketqueen-world @lifelessvessel @doddernix @svgarcaine @amayalul @basementgrl222 @kristennero-wallacewellsver @iiheartsai @fan-goddess @shady-the-simp

Slow, slow hands

Like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry

No, no chance

That I'm leaving here without you on me

- Slow Hands by Niall Horan

You couldn't wait to get your sore feet out of those heels that had been tormenting your every step since around lunch, they looked absolutely fantastic, though. Trying to shift your weight away from the thin stiletto connecting your foot with the floor underneath, you stepped into the elevator and pressed for the 10th floor, holding your purse tight to your body.

The men standing right next to you with his hands shoved into his pockets didn't go without you noticing. Shiny brown hair that reached his shoulders, the upper part neatly tied into a small bun to not look completely out of place in contrast to a slim-fitting, black button-up shirt. You tried to keep a straight face but a small, quick smirk escaped regardless.

Not a word was exchanged whilst the elevator made its way further up and the silence was equally kept as both of you got out on the same floor. He knew and respected the fact that you needed your time to cool off after a whole week of keeping a company afloat. Opposed to the calm, the beeping of your key card against the electric lock seemed almost harsh.

Only a few swift steps left until you could finally step out of your heels. You tossed them off your aching feet with such vigor that they clinked against the shelf your key card found its home for now, right next to an already prepared red envelope. You nearly groaned out loud as the pressure gradually eased off and you felt nothing but smooth, neatly waxed acorn tiled against your soles.

Right after tossing your purse next to the shelf, you headed into the kitchen area of your loft apartment in the search to quench your thirst for a hefty glass of wine. Instead of bothering with actually pouring one, you raised the bottle straight to your lips and took a long swig.

“Rough week, huh?” Mid-gulp you turned your head to the side where Clay leaned against the door frame, arms loosely crossed in front of his chest and an understanding smile playing around his lips.

“Massive understatement.”, You returned after swallowing the fruity, rich red, “Remember Alice?”

“Your new secretary that started last month? Yeah, what's with her?” Clay raised his brows slightly.

“Had to kick her out already. Missy got blackout drunk at the outing on Wednesday and started getting a bit too touchy with Jake from finances before puking all over the restaurant restroom.” With the memories of that evening resurfacing, you pinched the bride of your nose and sighed.

“I really liked her, you know? But that's downright unacceptable behavior.“, You treated yourself to another swig of wine before holding the bottle towards Clay, “Want some?”

“Certainly not opposed to it.”, He took you up on the offer, helping himself to a sip as well, “Wow, if that has been your Wednesday I can imagine how the rest of the week went. However, I'm sure I can make you relax a little, no?”

“Oh, I'm certain. You never disappoint, honey.” The smile forming on your face was genuine and so was the bubbling buzz that caused your stomach to flip whenever you did so much as just look at him but that he didn't need to know of at all.

“Always glad to hear that, ma'am.” The cocky smirk he threw your way jolted right down amidst your thighs and you couldn't help it.

“Ma'am?”, You pushed yourself from the counter and took a step towards him, “That's a new one.”

“Thought I switch it up a little. Like the ring to it?” The smirk on his lips grew up to a full fledged grin as he equally strode forward, meeting you halfway.

“Certainly not opposed to it.” You teased, your eyes roaming over his chest, admiring the way the fabric stretched across it before looking back up into his glacier blue eyes.

The need to get simply get lost in them tugged at your heartstrings but you held yourself tethering at the edge, trying to keep your composure and this client-seller relationship intact.

“Whatever pleases you, ma'am.” Clay lowered his voice to a gentle whisper, seducing you right away with just his voice before leaning in and pressing a deep kiss to your lips.

The taste of the wine accompanied by that of menthol cigarettes slipped into your mouth alongside his daring tongue stroking across yours, exploring curiously. Fuck, you couldn’t just allow him to sweep you off your feet so easily. There were boundaries that had to be kept at all times but the ones protecting your heart had been crumbling all over the place for weeks now.

You reciprocated the kiss whilst forcefully holding back from pressing your whole front against his. Instead, you teared yourself from the kiss with an artificial smile adorning your face.

“I reckon you want my tongue somewhere else, hm?” Without hesitation Clay followed you out of the kitchen, leaving the bottle of halfway finished wine behind.

“Not only eye candy but smart as well.” You quipped, taking a comfortable seat on your sofa and leaning back whilst spreading your legs and allowing your skirt to ride up your thighs.

“Always at your service, ma'am.” Clay stated, placing himself between you and the sofa table, not breaking eye contact once whilst lowering down on all fours.

“I know, you're such a good boy for me. Now come here and let me forget about that week for a little.” As the words were rolling over your tongue, you felt the heat creep into your face and your cunt throbbing around nothing…for now.

The sight in front of you was one for sore eyes. It had your breath hitching as Clay made his way towards you, nimble fingers shooting up to pull your lace thong to the side. Just the way his fingertips ghosted over your swollen clit elicited a moan to trickle from your lips.

“ ‘M gonna take good care of you.” He cooed, his warm breath breezing over already and thoroughly soaked folds right before leaning in.

“Shut up, boy.” You managed to huff out, the sensation of his tongue parting you until it worked its way up to where you needed it to be taking over rapidly.

It rendered you reckless with desire in mere seconds and thus you didn't hold back from burying your hand in his tied-back hair, dishevelling the bun by shamelessly pulling at it to shove his face into your aching cunt. At that Clay groaned out, the vibrations against your core sending a shiver down your spine. In this instant you couldn't care less about the shitshow that was your workplace this week. Fuck Alice and all the damage control you've had to do because of her. For now all that mattered was Clay's skilled tongue drawing languid circles around your pulsing clit as his lips gingerly closed down around it.

“Feels so fucking good.” You murmured, allowing your head to loll back and your eyes to flutter shut in waves of bliss.

Clay knew how to handle you properly, doubling the pleasure coursing through your veins with two fingers which slid inside of you, caressing, massaging you from the inside in slow, careful strokes just right as you liked them to.

Clay hummed in approval, the full width of his tongue lapping at you, nudging all the right places with each bold lick. This was without a singular doubt the highlight of your week; every Friday at 7pm sharp. No fuzz, no beating around the bush, just blowing off the steam accumulated throughout the week and then both of you moved on with your life's until next week. Absolutely no strings attached, you lied to yourself to keep your face not only towards Clay but to yourself as well. Meaningless banter, an orgasm, a few hundred bucks and then dash. Uncomplicated unlike an actual relationship you had no time for anyways.

“Uh-Huh, right there.” You sunk deeper into the sofa, your breaths rendering more shallow one by the next one as you sensed the pleasure coaxing you past the point of no return.

Each flick of his tongue brought you closer to ecstasy until you kept yourself from holding it together and instead plunged right into the fireworks going off from every nerve ending in your body. Not really giving a damn about his ability to catch a breath, you shoved Clay's face against you, rocking your hips at his tongue as you rode your orgasm until the very last contraction ebbed away and left you satisfied.

“Delivered as always.” You pulled Clay off of you by his bun, astray strands of wavy hair falling into his face as he wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

“My pleasure.” He returned as he pulled your thong back into place before straightening up again.

The both of you exchanged quick glances, you nodded your head towards the shelf, gesturing towards the envelope.

“There's a little extra for you in there.” You pulled your skirt back down as the words suggested to him that it was time to leave now.

“Oh, you spoil me, ma'am.” Clay took the notion and turned to leave you to your weekend.

"Outstanding performance deserves recognition.” Your eyes followed his every step and, before you could push it right back where it was meant to stay, your stomach dropped in a surge of longing.

The need to have him stay, to curl up next to him whilst dozing off in post-orgasmic bliss took the reign for a split second.

“See you in a week, handsome.” You forced the words out of you to snap back into the reality of things.

“Looking forward to it.” Clay blew you a kiss before he threw the door shut on his way out.

#clay roach #clay roach smut #clay roach x reader #rory culkin #city on a hill #rory culkin fanfic

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notwarriorswiki · 11 months

Note

Do you have any deeper lore about Windflight? I always thought he was interesting

The sole kit of Squirrelwhisker an Eaglestorm, the result of a half-clan relationship and born under Oakstar's reign, Windflight was treated incredibly poorly by ThunderClan. The only thing that spared him and his mother from the same fate as Mapleshade was Squirrelwhisker accepting any and all punishments and bowing to Oakstar and the clan like a sniveling kit. Some lie and say Windkit was named to honor his origins and where he came from, but in truth it was a grim reminder he was not a true ThunderClan cat, and he had to wear that half-clan badge constantly.

Things didn't truthfully get better until Doestar came into power, and even then, no apologies ever came. The beatings and harassment stopped, and some felt safe to actually speak to him. Squirrelwhisker had done everything in her power to protect his fluffy, tufted ears. She hid his scratches with careful grooming, Windflight looking like a cat no one ever would guess was beaten on as a mere kitten.

Squirrelwhisker looked awful though. Despite being Oakstar's own niece, she had her beautiful ears shredded, her fluffy pelt, patchy and worn. She smiled, eyes bright and glittering for her beloved son, but Windflight hated she felt like she had to do that. He wanted, more than anything, for his mother to be able to cry.

In time he too learned to pretend. He'd smile and joke, all while masking a bitterness towards the cats he called clanmates. He loved his mother, and that was it.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. See Windflight had one friend - a loner named Reina. She didn't know his history, didn't see a reason to judge someone's parentage, and approached him with no judgement in her gaze. He met her quietly in the evenings - Oakstar often having banished him to fend for himself during the dead of night. With Doestar's leadership came ambivalence, and with ambivalene gave some reassurance. Windflight considered simply leaving with Reina, but he could not abandon his mother - not ever.

Reina joined ThunderClan, and took the name Rainfur. She mothered two kits with Windflight - Dapplekit and Thrushkit. Rainfur, being one to never care where someone came from, took in Harepounce's kits to nurse alongside her own. A selfless act that was celebrated soon led to tragedy. The pressure was too much on Rainfur's body, and the shortage of prey led to the she-cat becoming weak. She would die while Dapplekit and Thrushkit still sat at her belly, and Windflight's world was snatched away.

Older cats whispered of the kits being cursed. After all, their mother was a loner, and their father was half-clan. They wouldn't make it far. Those innocent wriggling bundles that he created, that he was supposed to love... he didn't. Windflight hated this clan, hated the kits were born, and hated that Reina was gone. She would never be Rainfur. She would always be Reina to him - before this clan asked things of her when they would've spat in her face if she ever asked in turn.

He merely existed, going about life in stride. After Squirrelwhisker passed in the elder's den, there was little he saw drive for. He took each day as it came, one by one, pretending and smiling, but his smile never reaching his eyes. His kits would grow, looking up at him with pride, and his answers back to them were hollow. As they grew older, they saw it, more and more. Dappletail noticed he never aked how they were, or came to them first. How Windflight never called them his kits, merely by their names at all times. Thrushpelt saw how he didn't offer praise until someone else did so first, mimicking and following along. Windflight was an empty shell, whose expression was emotionless and hollow when no one was around.

"Why don't you just leave?" Thrushpelt would eventually ask. "Why father Poppydawn's kits? Why pretend as if you care?" If he didn't have anyone he loved, if he didn't care about his litters, if he didn't care about Poppydawn now, who looked up at him with so much adoration, why did he stay? Why did he not become the very loner Reina was, the one he did love?

And in truth, Windflight had no answer.

Because he had always been in ThunderClan. He had always been in the very place he hated. He stewed in despair, but never tried to make change.

Windflight was a coward.

#warrior cats #windflight #rainfur #squirrelwhisker #thrushpelt #poppydawn #dappletail #thistleclaw #sweetpaw #headcanon #rewrite #au #po12 #art

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animatorweirdo · 1 year

Text

Imagine being Melkor’s child and having a tragic marriage with Maedhros

(This idea had been on my mind for some time and it’s finally time to post it. Heed the warnings because this will be a one sad story)

Imagine from @imagine-all-the-elves

Warnings: Angst, mentions of child neglect, manipulation, torture, forced marriage, violence, loss of hand and death. Neither you or Mae will have fun time but you do have some fluff moments together.

----------------------------------------------------

-It was never supposed to happen in the first place. You were the child of the world’s greatest enemy, and he was the son of your father’s greatest enemy. It was a union never meant to happen.

-You never wanted it to happen, especially to him.

-You had been kept hidden when your father, Melkor, took you away from your beloved mother. You had been barely allowed to go outside, so it left you with doubts that you even existed to the outside world.

-Melkor never treated you horribly in your first years of life, but he was absent most of the time. He was always busy warring with the rest of the Valar and trying to take over Arda. You only had caretakers and Mairon to look after you.

-You knew your elven caretakers were slaves and forced to look after you. It made you feel bad for them, especially when they got poorly treated by orcs and other servants of your father.

-Mairon didn’t treat you horribly. He was busy like your father, but he sometimes took turns watching and keeping you company. You once thought you could confide in him like a friend, but you were left uncertain since he was a ruthless maiar who often thought lowly of everyone.

-You did not have a similar mindset to everyone on your father’s side, and they kept you away from the elves to avoid ‘attachments’ – so you grew up rather lonely.

-In those lonely times, you would think about your mother, Nienna. She was one of the warmest beings in Arda, and she was the one who taught you to be sympathetic toward others.

-You missed her terribly. You missed her and your uncles. You wanted to feel her embrace and hear her lullabies soothe you from nightmares again. You wanted to play with your uncle Manwe and listen to Irmo’s jokes that never failed to make you laugh. You also wanted to be with your sibling again.

-You asked your father many times if you could visit them, and he always refused, making your loneliness grow as you had no friends in Utummo or anywhere in your father’s kingdom.

-Mairon kept you safe and hidden in Angband when the Valar tore down Utummo and took your father away. It was a terrifying experience as you didn’t know what was happening and were not allowed to go outside for a long time.

-When everything calmed down, you were left alone with Mairon, who got busy rebuilding your father’s armies while you grew up alone in the shadows.

-It was peaceful when your father wasn’t around. It was more quiet in the world, and there was less destruction even though orcs brought new thralls every day, and you weren’t allowed to leave Angband.

-You regret that you never took the chance to escape and reunite with your mother and sibling. You felt like a bird in a cage because Mairon restricted you from leaving Angband and tried to fill your head with teachings and expectations of how you would help your father reach his goal when he returned.

-At that time, you hoped your father never returned from his imprisonment, but fate has never been the kindest to you, and the day finally arrived when Gothmog and his balrogs marched out of Angband to save your father from Ungoliant’s webs.

-You did not know how to react when your father walked through the doors, holding three stolen jewels, and when he shared the news that the two trees of Valinor were no more, destroyed by his and Ungoliant’s hands.

-You were worried, especially when you heard the Noldor elves left the blessed realm to chase after him to take revenge for what he did to their previous king and the two trees.

-You expected war and bloodshed, so when the elves and your father’s armies finally went to war. It was the least surprising thing to you.

-However, when your father captured the new high king after Feanor’s death. That’s when things began to go south.

-It all started with shared looks.

-You visited your father and Mairon from time to time to give out reports and the progress of your work, and that's how you met your father’s latest captive.

-Nelyafinwe, who in Sindarin came to be known as Maedhros, the firstborn son of your father’s enemy and the current high king of the Noldor.

-He was in a poor state the first time you met, and you pitied him since he was going through the same thing many of the thralls did in Angband. If things were different, you could have helped him out of his situation, but since you had little power in Angband and he was an important prisoner. There was nothing you could do for him.

-Although you never talked to each other, you continuously glanced at one another, and it ended up in a regretful situation because your father noticed and had a horrible idea.

-He proposed marriage between you and the red-headed elf.

-It was unthinkable, so you tried to reject it because you did not want Maedhros to suffer any more humiliation. He already suffered enough in your father’s hand. His kin would most likely take him as a traitor if he ended up getting married to the child of his father’s enemy.

-You tried to reject it and reasoned that the whole idea was useless. It would bring nothing for either side. However, your father had always been a talented manipulator. He used your weaknesses and sympathetic nature against you.

-He spoke unimaginable things and persuaded you how things would go since peace was all you always wanted. He also questioned if you liked the tortures to stop or continue since you were so against the idea.

-You found yourself in the corner. You couldn't find your way out of it, and deep down, you did want the torturing to stop, so you agreed to the proposal.

-A ceremony was held. You went out of your way to keep it small and argued with your father about what you wanted for the wedding so It would be small and quick.

-Maedhros was against the whole thing, and you understood him well, so you at least managed to give him robes to cover his chains and a veil to spare him the shame of being seen.

-It was a terrible situation for both of you. You never wanted a spouse who would get forced to marry you, so you could not help but utter silent apologies.

-Your father did keep his promise and allowed you to take your new spouse away from his and Mairon’s grasp.

-You brought your spouse to your realm. It was a gift from Mairon after you grew older and decided to work alongside him. It was a lonely fortress behind Angband, surrounded by vast icy landscapes. It was a peaceful place, but it was also just another prison for thralls and those meant to keep in check.

-It would be impossible to escape from there without crossing anyone from Angband, so your spouse was now truly trapped.

-Your relationship with him was silent and awkward. Maedhros was weary of you, no doubt thinking you would be exactly like your father and start torturing and mistreating him upon the first chance. You did not blame him. The whole thing was undesirable for both of you, so you tried to explain that you would not do anything against his will.

-He did not have to go through the wedding night and was free to have your chambers to himself. You did work in your office most of the time, and there was a couch, so you had a place to rest.

-He was free to do anything. If he needed something, he could just ask. The only thing he should not do is go outside or try to escape since there were creatures outside who guarded your realm or made sure no one would try to leave without permission.

-You had the servants unchain him and kept your distance from him so he would not have to deal with you, and that’s how your new married life began.

-Maedhros was weary of you and waited for you to turn back on your promise and do something to him, so he ended up spending his time in your chambers with no one but servants to bring him food.

-He was surprised when he saw the state of your elven servants. They walked freely and were in good shape, unlike others who served in Angband. They were not afraid to talk to him, so he often conversed with them.

-He felt conflicted when they spoke well about you and assured him he could trust your words. You were truthful and kinder than your blackhearted father, so he did not need to fear betrayal.

-He began asking about you and collecting information. He had not heard about you before in Valinor, so he tried to gather all the information he could get before thinking about confronting you.

-He was surprised when he learned your mother was Nienna. He knew your sibling and had heard that she had another child who went missing many years ago, even presumed dead.

-When he grew less weary, he took a bold step and stepped outside your chamber. Your servants showed him around and told him everything about the fortress.

-When he asked if anyone tried escaping, they took him to a window and showed him the wild yetis that guarded your realm. They were faster and more ferocious than orcs. It was nearly impossible to flee, and many faced a horrible end at their hands.

-You were kind enough to interfere whenever you could, but many would end up living with horrible scars after the encounter.

-The servants explained to him that the yetis were made to guard the fortress and to deal with any thrall that dared to escape, but everyone knew their main task was to keep an eye on you, so you were just as a prisoner as them.

-Maedhros took in the knowledge and began to understand your situation more. He was still weary of you and kept his distance whenever you were out.

-He observed you most of the time, especially one time when a new maid got brought from Angband, and she accidentally broke something. He expected you to act differently behind closed doors and punish the poor elleth, but you calmed her down and simply told her to clean it up.

-Having seen and experienced your father's temper, Maedhros was taken aback by your calmness.

-He continued observing whenever you came out of your office. You knew he was watching and did not mind it. You even played ignorant, continued your days, and even asked for his well-being from time to time. You tried to show you meant no harm.

-Maedhros began to grow less weary of you and then started wandering around your home and getting familiar with every detail. It was surprisingly warm inside despite the outside world being an icy wasteland. It was more welcoming than Angband, though.

-Maedhros didn’t plan to face you or talk to you anytime soon, but he made a mistake going to a library that he thought was a separate room from your office.

-He was startled when he saw you and froze when you looked back at him. He quickly apologized and prepared to leave, but you stopped him and told him it was alright and he could stay if he wanted to read something.

-You even offered to leave since you were almost done with the daily work so your presence wouldn’t bother him. Maedhros did not know how to answer your offer, so he rejected it and said you could stay and finish your work.

-The exchange was awkward, so you agreed and tried to work while he went through some books.

-You thought it could go peacefully and without troubles, but the silence soon became unbearable. You managed to continue your work, but you could feel the elf looking at you from time to time. It made you almost flinch how uneasy your spouse was, but you did not blame him.

-You decided to break the silence and ask if there was something he wanted to ask and if his stay had been comfortable so far.

-Maedhros thought through his questions carefully, and when you didn’t show annoyance or anger with each question, he decided to talk and ask more questions without fear.

-You answered to the best of your abilities. You were silently happy that Maedhros felt comfortable enough to talk with you despite the questions obviously directed at why you were not like your father.

-It was not the first time, so you didn’t mind. Many of your servants assumed you were cruel and terrible, like Melkor. It also leaves them confused when you don’t act on their assumptions and treat them better than anyone from Angband.

-You never had a reason to hate the elves or any other creation. You knew your father was obsessed with conquering Arda and creating something of his own, and it made you sad how many got hurt because of him. You were more sympathetic like your mother.

-The conversation was quick since it was time for dinner, and Maedhros wished to dine alone in your chamber like he always did. He took the time to think about you and your answers to his questions.

-He felt a bit ashamed for the way he spoke to you. He was rather forward and demanding with his questions, like he was interrogating you, and it made him feel slight regret because you didn’t even do anything to upset him.

-You didn’t even get angry with his tone of voice, so it was clear to him that you were nothing like your father. Truthfully, you looked saddened when he spoke to you like that, and it only fueled his desire to apologize for his behavior.

-He left your chambers, hoping he would find you and apologize to you for what happened. He was unaware he would end up finding someone else, someone unexpected.

-Maedhros was only walking through the hallway, trying to remember the location of the dining hall until he felt like being watched.

-He then dumped on someone he never expected to see, your sibling.

-He was left shocked because your sibling should be in Valinor with your mother, but they were standing right in front of him, grinning at him. Maedhros was creeped out because they looked and acted nothing like they were in Valinor.

-They were psychotic and made vulgar remarks about him and his kin. They even called him your toy while threatening to taste his blood.

-Maedhros didn’t know what to do. He was unnerved to the core and close to doing something rash like fighting them until you arrived and stopped your sibling from touching him.

-It was the first time he saw you get agitated and more threatening. You strictly spoke to your sibling and chased them off before turning your attention toward him with a much softer expression.

-He was shaken and confused from the encounter. He then assumed your sibling was working as a spy, but you brushed off that theory and explained this sibling was a doppelganger.

-When you were younger, and the old Utummo was still up. You asked your father many times to see your mother and actual sibling since you were lonely. He created the doppelganger to fix that, and you have been stuck with a psychotic fake ever since.

-You apologized for his unpleasant encounter and told him to call or come to you if they bothered him again.

-Maedhros felt anxious for the rest of the day, and you felt horrible watching him be afraid again since he was finally getting comfortable around you. It made you curse your father and that fake even more.

-You didn’t dare to bother him, so you stayed at your usual spot on the balcony whenever the night graced the sky, hoping you spot a few stars through the gray smoke.

-Maedhros once found you alone and was curious, so he approached you and talked to you.

-You asked him if the sky was really full of stars like your servants said since you have long forgotten. Maedhros was pretty surprised to hear that, but he confirmed and told you about all the stars he knew. You listened with a smile, and the conversation just flowed from there.

-You asked about your sibling and mother since he had met them and known them for a while before he departed from Valinor, and he described how they were doing and how much they missed you ever since you went missing. They and the rest of your family dedicated one day to remembering you each year.

-You felt happy to know your family was doing well and that they had not forgotten about you. You thanked him for sharing about your mother and sibling.

-Maedhros felt sad for you and angry. He could see the loneliness in your eyes, and the thought that you have been kept away from your family so long that you had forgotten how a star-filled sky looked made him resent Melkor more.

-You began to talk more, especially wherever you were on the balcony. Maedhros tried to spot stars with you, and you spoke about your families. He told fond memories about Valinor, and he sometimes joked with you about his father since your imagination made him look like a screaming goose on fire when you heard about him. Honestly – it was perhaps one of the most accurate descriptions of his father.

-You two began to spend more time with each other. Maedhros felt more comfortable with you. Even though he shouldn’t, he began to trust you. He began to see you as some kind of a friend.

-He just couldn’t see Melkor in you. You were soft-spoken and gentle like your mother. You made him enjoy his stay with your stories, and he liked how kind you were toward your servants.

-It made him wish you could have met under different circumstances.

-You were happy you were building a connection, but even so, you tried to avoid touching him or indulging in any close contact.

-Maedhros noticed when he asked about your ring once. You two were on the balcony, and he was curious about the peculiar-looking ring on your finger. He touched your hand, and he felt you freeze under his touch. He thought he did something wrong, but you kept your composure and told him how you used to steal the ring from Irmo, and he allowed you to keep it since you liked it so much. It was one of the only things you had left from your family.

-Maedhros thought he made you uncomfortable, so he tried to apologize for touching you without permission.

-You were surprised and then explained he did not make you uncomfortable. You were afraid to touch people in general because there had been cases when people mistook you for your father when you tried to help them.

-You did not want to touch him because you thought it would revoke bad memories of Angband and the horrible things he went through, especially when he had scars as a reminder of his time there.

-Maedhros understood that you felt guilt and made a bold move to hold your hand, telling you how you would never remind him of your father, and it wasn’t you who gave him his scars.

-It was at that moment you started falling for him hard.

-You would have been happy if you two became friends, but after feeling his hand on yours and seeing him smile for the first time. You couldn’t help but start feeling something more for him.

-You were terrified because there were several reasons why you shouldn’t feel such a thing for him.

-One, your father would win if he ever knew about your growing feelings, and two, Maedhros would never feel the same for you. He got forced to marry you, so he had no reason to love you back. He would only see you as someone he could trust in this place, nothing more.

-You tried to keep them hidden, but the crimson-haired ellon did not make it easy when you two spent time together on the balcony, and he started smiling more.

-He adapted to your way of living and even learned the little codes you made with your servants to know someone unwanted was visiting. He even started helping you with your work.

-You tried getting your hands on fruits and food he would like when he started dining with you. He would always be surprised when you managed to bring Noldor-made cuisine to the table, but it made him smile and thank you for going to such lengths.

-You couldn't stop thinking about the feeling of his hand when he held your hand for the first time without fear. The warmth and the gentleness behind it made you want to feel it again, but you didn’t dare to ask him. You were still afraid to touch him.

-However, your yearning had made you unaware of how much you started looking at his hand, imagining how it would feel against yours.

-Maedhros was quick to notice and decided to ask your permission to hold your hand instead, making you flustered. You did not want to say no, so you let him touch your hand and even make little jokes about how small your hands were for an Ainur, and those little moments always made you feel weak and crave more for his gentle touch.

-It was now obvious you were falling hard for him. It was an incredible feeling because it felt like how your mother described it when she was still with your father. But you knew, one day, you had to help Maedhros out of your prison.

-He would never be safe as long as he was stuck with you, so you finally started planning a way for him to escape and be free of his predicament.

-It was a carefully crafted plan. You made a note to keep all the details in mind, and one day, you found a perfect chance for him to escape, but then your fake sibling just had to visit and start harassing your beloved.

-They had arrived without your knowing and started harassing Maedhros with vulgar remarks about his family and situation. They called him names, and Maedhros tried to ignore it like you told him, but when they made a crude remark about you, he couldn’t help but retaliate against them.

-They were threateningly quiet after he stood up for them. Maedhros felt unnerved and tried to leave through the door, only to have his hand cut off when he grabbed the handle.

-You stood up when you heard him scream and quickly made way toward him and your fake sibling. You found Maedhros’s hand on the floor and saw him sitting against the wall while holding his bleeding stump. It felt like the world froze around you when you watched his blood dress him in red.

-Your sibling only cackled and told you they only gave your spouse a lesson in misbehaving and blamed you for not keeping your things in check, but you only grew furious.

-The anger you felt was uncontrollable, and you attacked your fake sibling.

-You threw them away and even took your sword out of its sheath, ready to kill them. You were known for your reluctance to harm anything, so when your sibling saw the murderous rage in your eyes – they took out their weapon, and you ended up in a violent fight.

-Maedhros watched with fright as you fought with your sibling, slashing wounds and throwing kicks and punches at each other. He became worried when he saw you getting hurt from the attacks.

-You even went as far as to use your abilities against your sibling, throwing their body against the walls like a ragdoll before they used their powers and disabled you.

-You both eventually lost your weapons and started throwing punches at each other, breaking each other’s bones and trying to kill with raw strength.

-However, your sibling managed to throw you away, and you were down, groaning and coughing blood from your mouth.

-Maedhros wanted to run to you, but when your sibling turned their attention upon him and came at them with a sinister grin. Maedhros took up your sword, and your sibling ran right through it.

-You saw as Maedhros held the blade that ran through your sibling. Your sibling’s black blood slowly dribbled from the steel before they fell backward, sliding off the sword and falling dead on the floor.

-Maedhros was standing in shock, staring at the corpse of your fake sibling while holding your sword with a shaking hand.

-When you heard your fake sibling’s servants approaching. You stood up and went to Maedhros, intending to take your sword from his hand.

-” Maedhros –” You said gently as your hand laid upon his. He looked at you with a frightful expression as his skin turned cold from the touch. “You did nothing wrong. It’s alright,” You comforted, taking the sword from his hand. You laid your other hand on his cheek, making him look you in the eyes. “You did nothing wrong,” You said and backed away.

-It took a moment for Maedhros to calm down, but before he knew it – you struck your sibling’s corpse right when your sibling’s servants showed around the corner. He was shocked because you were making it look like it was you who killed their master. You were taking the blame for him.

-When you walked back to him, you gently handled his bleeding stump and muttered something under your breath, which allowed light to glow beneath your fingers, and Maedhros could feel the pain lessen and the wound stitching itself up.

-He was then taken by surprise when you suddenly embraced him and held his head close to yours.

-You told him to go to a remote place of your fortress and find his cousin you noticed sneaking in, the one with the golden ribbons.

-Maedhros knew it was Fingon from your description, but before he could say anything. You promised him you would hold your sibling’s servants back while he escaped and pushed him away, yelling at him to go.

-He was quick to follow your instructions, and he ran. He only turned for a moment to see you start killing your fake sibling’s servants, taking all the attention on you.

-He did not want to leave you behind, and it was by luck that he suddenly bumped into his cousin, Fingon.

-The reunion was short-lived, and Fingon quickly took him away from your fortress. They were quick to run through the mountains, but Maedhros paled when he heard the yells of the yetis and saw them coming toward them.

-You managed to fight off your sibling’s servants and walked outside to see Maedhros and his cousin running away from the yetis. They would die if you didn’t do something, so you took out your blade and gave yourself a deep wound.

-The yetis were made to guard your home and prevent anyone from leaving. However, if they smell something wrong with you, they will make you their first priority and stop their task to check on you.

-You used your powers to enhance the smell of your blood, and it didn’t take long for them to stop and come for you instead, leaving Maedhros and his cousin alone and giving them a chance to escape.

-You smiled in relief, but you knew their escape would be impossible since Angband was on their way. So, you prayed from the bottom of your heart for Manwe’s help or someone who would help the one you loved to escape. You soon lost consciousness when the yetis came through the door and found you.

-Maedhros felt dread when he saw the yetis come for you, but he tried to keep going until he and Fingon got surrounded by orcs from Angband.

-He thought about telling Fingon to leave him so he could buy him some time, but before he could do anything, a great eagle flew down from the sky and took down the orcs.

-Thorondor helped them mount and flew them away from Angband. Maedhros did not know what to think, and he watched as your fortress got smaller and smaller until it was out of his eyesight, and he returned to his kin.

- He thought about you as he healed from his injuries, and his brothers questioned him about his time in Angband. He was surprised that no one knew that he was married off to the child of his enemy, but he said no word about it.

-The more he thought about you, the more anxious he became to know what happened to you after the incident. Deep down in his heart, he wanted you to be alive, but there was a mild chance because no one would survive the anger of a dark lord, so he concluded you were dead.

-He mourned for you. You were one of the good things that happened, and it felt like he left part of himself when you told him to leave you and your home.

-He kept quiet about the incident and his marriage because he knew his kin would not take it kindly if they knew about the whole affair.

-They would assume you were like your father and take no other answer.

-Maedhros tried to live quietly, but he couldn't bring himself to forget you. Not after all you did for him: and your sacrifice to save him. It made him feel undeserving and realize he might have loved you in return.

-The feeling was like a sword that struck him in the heart, especially when something horrific happened during a battle. The orcs were taunting him and his people, brutally executing prisoners and thralls before them. Maedhros felt helpless that he couldn't do anything to help them, but he had to keep his composure and look strong in front of his people. That was until the orcs caught his attention and threw a severed hand before him.

-He was confused until he recognized the ring on the hand’s finger – on your finger. The hand in front of him was your hand.

-He felt sick as it was obviously a gesture of mockery for losing his hand, and he almost couldn’t hold his composure because he couldn’t stop thinking about all the things you suffered in your father’s hands.

-He only allowed himself to break into tears when he returned to his home in Himring when no one would be looking. He held on to your ring, which he had retrieved in secret, and grieved for you as it was clear that you were now truly gone.

Taglist: @heilith

#maedhros x reader #maedhros #silmarillion #silmarillion x reader #maedhros imagine #silmarillion imagine #maedhros headcanon #middle earth x reader #middle earth #tolkien #silm fic #ainur reader #melkor #angband #melkor's child reader

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someonexsomeone · 11 months

Text

Street By Street

Title: Street by Street

Author: SomeonexSomeone

Word Count: 3.5k

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x Reader

Summary: It's really hard to love someone with everything you have when they have already lived.

Authors Note: guys!! its the first fic of Laufeyfest! I really wanted all of these stories to be love stories, but sometimes love stories are too easy. instead, how about a story that hurts mwahahaha

Miguel O’Hara was a man of a million expressions and emotions, but very few words. Though intimidating at first, it didn’t take long for anyone to listen to his short, clip sentences to realize that his care was beyond the measure of any normal person. His heart, despite being hurt, thumped with care for his city and its people, and his actions were always first and foremost to help those in need. It was, admittedly, that care that put you in his path.

It wasn't often that a civilian drew his attention. To be fair, most of his life had been surrounded by astounding people, whether the other geniuses that surrounded him in school, the classes he took at university, the capable scientists that worked alongside him at Alchemax, and even now, with the best the multiverse had to offer (though, he refused to admit that out loud to anyone but LYLA, the only other person who knew his complete plan). But, there was something about the way your eyes shinned in dedication, the absolute fury he saw on your face when the city treated its people poorly, the pride in the way your shoulders sagged after making progress in a corrupt city, that had him returning for more, whether it was stopping by to monitor you while you worked in a way so uniquely you, or to personally meet you in the lobby to once again say no, he didn’t have time to do a meet and greet at the Rec Center despite how great it was that you were fighting for union workers working the steam lines. He wanted to, more than he cared to admit, just to see that blinding smile he saw only occasionally thrown around whatever new project you were working on, but things were unstable right now. The dread in his stomach at the thought of being away from his computer long enough to let a world-destroying anomaly get away was too much, even for you. He did, however, feel his resolve slowly chip away whenever your posture slumped a little, despite the countless times he said no already, and bid a pleasant farewell with a promise to visit again soon.

“Don’t bother coming back”, slowly turned into, “I look forward to it” faster than even he could believe, and it surely didn’t help that the more Spiderpeople joined HQ, the more were there to witness his pathetic wave and gentle hand on your back as he lead you back to the front door.

“You know,” Peter B remarked one day, appearing behind him with a giggling MayDay. Only a few months old and she was already a little ball of energy, squealing and making more noise than Miguel ever wanted to hear at work. “She really seems like a nice woman. You should give her a chance.”

“What would you know?” Miguel growled, spinning on his heel.

“I’m just saying, man. You got this whole miserable brute thing down pretty good, but it wouldn’t hurt to let yourself live a little.”

“I’ve done that already, and look how that turned out!” Peter B stepped back, whether for his own sake to escape Miguel’s wrath, or to protect MayDay he didn’t totally know. Miguel huffed, shaking his head once. “You know my story already. I’ve lived plenty, and we can’t afford any distractions while the Multiverse is falling apart-”

“I’m not saying you should give everything to go on a coffee date,” Peter B interjected, ignoring the glare Miguel sent him. “I’m just saying that you lived a life that wasn’t yours. Why not give this world a chance to make you happy? You know there won’t be any chance of anomaly here.”

“You don’t know that,” he snapped. Despite his annoying tendency to bring his child to work and butt in when he wasn’t needed, Miguel didn’t know if his frustration was from Peter B’s interference in his personal life…or the fact that he desperately wanted him to be right.

“Coffee. You can do that, can’t you?”

“And who will be here if something goes wrong? You?” Miguel huffed in amusement, nearly missing the slight smug twitch in his fellow spider’s smile. Peter B placed a hand on his larger companion's shoulder, willing himself to keep it there despite every nerve in his body twitching to take it away.

“Sure, I can do it, if you want.” Miguel eyed the hand on his shoulder. “You also have LYLA and Jess and even Ben.” They exchanged a single, pointed glance. “Okay, not Ben, but you do have people you can trust to notify you if anything goes wrong. And, besides, it’s not like you have to hide who you really are, unlike the rest of us..”

So, in a rare instance of trust, Miguel approached you and asked you out for coffee.

Well, he really swung by while you were working downtown, scooping you up in his arms and bringing you to the quiet cafe inside HQ, demanding you tell him all about the fundraiser you approached him about last time. And, in a rare instance of admitting Peter B was correct, he didn’t have any regrets, not after your smile lit up your face, pulling out a folder from your bag to show him the plans.

Miguel was…to be honest, there wasn’t any word that could describe him better than odd. After a near year of being treated like every other average citizen to seeing him nearly every day to spending most nights together was a pattern you never expected to happen. Even more, you thought the unusual behavior was just that, unusual, but you had never met someone who could keep you on your toes so much. And, if you were honest with yourself, you loved every minute of it.

Yes, his demeanor would flip at the drop of the hat, but his morals never swayed from the dedicated man you loved. In a day you watched him badger a teenager before demanding they visit the medical ward for their injuries, pulverize a criminal on the street before swooping in to give you a gentle kiss, and throw a table across the room immediately after taking a selfie with his close digital companion. If you didn’t know him any better, you would be concerned for his health with the fluctuation in his mood, but there was something always stopping you from being afraid.

That thing? The simple adoration in his eyes when they met yours.

Being in his arms was always a pleasure, but you could stare into his eyes for hours without break, running your hands through his hair and just drinking in his entire being. Work would pass in a haze until you returned to his arms, and days off were spent walking around the HQ with him, staring longingly at him, and helping out where you could, which primarily meant distracting him when he started to bounce on his toes with impatience.

(Multiple Spiderpeople have caught you two sprawled on the couch in his office, you laying on top, just staring into his eyes and giving him gentle kisses every couple of seconds. It was the reason he now has a crude ‘Do Not Disturb. Idiots in Love’ sign outside his door that LYLA puts up near daily.)

So, when Miguel had to leave suddenly one morning, you thought nothing of it. HQ was needing him at any hour of the day, and being the protector of the multiverse was more than a simple 9-5 job. He planted a heavy kiss on your lips before departing, like he did every time (a silent apology for waking you up), and jumped from the landing outside your window. One glance at the clock, blinding numbers far too early to even comprehend, you rolled over and drunk in the scent he left behind on his warm side of the bed. Not seeing him that night was also not unusual, though you typically for some sort of message from him, just to let you know he was okay. Despite this, you tucked yourself into bed after a long day, ready to see him in the morning.

Then the morning came. By lunch, you still hadn’t heard anything. Dinner came and went. Then, two, three, four days and still not a word from Miguel. Now you were getting worried.

“LYLA?” you called into the watch on your wrist, legs crossed as you sat on your bed. A gift from Miguel if you ever needed something when he wasn't there, but you haven’t really had to use it recently. In fact, it took you over a minute just to clasp it around your wrist and find the button to turn the damn thing on, since it lived in your bedside drawer most days. Why have it on you when you were glued to Miguel’s side anyway?

“Hiya!” Her sudden appearance made you jump, a titling laugh escaping her digital lips. “What can I do for you?”

“Have you seen Miguel? I haven’t heard from him recently.” At this, her eyebrows furled.

“What?”

“Is he on a mission or something?” When she didn’t move, you clenched your fingers nervously. “I know I’m not really supposed to know any details but I figured maybe you could tell me if he’s okay or not. That’s something I’m allowed to know, right?” She continued to stand still like her model was completely frozen. “LYLA?”

“Sorry!” Her entire being glitched, bouncing up and down before swaying like she gave herself an electric shock. “I was just trying to see where Miguel’s watch was to let you know.” She gave you a pleasant smile, but there was something making the corners twitch suspiciously. “He’s currently at the cafe at HQ. I thought he was here with you this whole time.”

“With me? But he left five days ago and hasn’t come back. This is the first time I’ve heard anything.” Her smile turned completely.

“He hasn’t been with you? I thought…your watch is usually here so I didn’t even think to check…” She looked at your earnestly, before glitching again.

“LYLA? Is something wrong?”

“It’s just…he hasn’t let me come into the office recently, so I thought…And he hasn’t really been on duty since we had a minor anomaly warning the other day in the underbelly.” Your confused look turned to alarm. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Maybe he just found … something?”

“But wouldn’t he tell you?” When she didn’t say anything, you jumped up, practically throwing the watch around while you threw your jacket and shoes on.

“Woah, woah, woah! What are you doing?”

“LYLA, he’s acting weird. Weirder than usual. If something’s going on…I need to know.”

“But you shouldn’t go out right now! It’s really late, and you have no one here to-” You smiled gently at her.

“I’ve lived here my whole life. Dedicated myself to it. Don’t worry, LYLA, I’ve walked these streets long before the protection of my Spiderman.” These reassurances didn’t do much to stop her from practically begging you to stay home and wait until the morning. You could hear her telling you she was threatening to send messages to Miguel that you were coming, threatening that she wouldn’t let you in the building so there was no point in going, even going as far as to activate the beeping notification on your watch that sent Miguel your location. You didn’t care. If something was bothering Miguel, you didn’t want him to be dealing with it alone, not after learning all about the near-debilitating, self-destructive depression he went through after losing his daughter.

HQ wasn’t close by any means, and your body was nearly frozen by the time you arrived at the front of it, too worried about Miguel to do anything about your pajamas. The building was burning like the brightest beacon, still managing to catch you in a moment of awe, before you approached the front doors. When you pulled on them, they rattled but didn’t open.

“LYLA?”

“I think you need to go home.” Her serious tone alarmed you.

Raising your arm so you were eye to eye, you stared at her. “What? LYLA, seriously what’s going on?” Her body glitched in and out on your wrist, her eyes flickering between you and the door. “If it was a mission or some Spiderman-related thing you would have just told me, so what’s really going on?”

Her mouth opened and closed, before deciding on, “He’s in there with a woman.” Your eyebrows raised.

“Okay? A woman I know?” LYLA flinched but didn’t say anything. “LYLA, seriously. He’s a grown man, not some hormonal teenage boy. What woman?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

“What?” She hesitated, then circled her hand in a motion you didn’t recognize. Beside her holographic body, a screen appeared. Miguel and a woman sat side by side, so close together that her side completely lined up with his. He was holding her hand gently, and her eyes were batting up at him, the HQ cafe’s sign brightly lighting up their faces so you could see their dual smiles. It took a double take to realize that, while you didn’t exactly recognize her, you did recognize her features. Your knees gave out, hitting the ground hard enough to bruise.

LYLA didn’t say anything, taking the photo away from your searching eyes.

“But...but…but…” Your brain couldn’t process it. What was Tempest doing here? You tried a few more times to form words, but your brain and your mouth refused to work together. Finally, they managed to form, “I don’t understand.”

“I didn’t want you to know.” Your eyes narrowed, mind stilling.

“You knew?” LYLA’s eyes widened.

“No!” Your skepticism was clear on your face. She winced. “Okay, I knew. But I promise that I didn’t know what was really happening.” You scoffed. “Miguel returned back from the investigation like he had seen a ghost. Then he asked me to replay the footage from the surrounding streets, and that’s when we saw her. He didn’t know that there would be a Tempest here! He left almost immediately after that, and when I saw his signal head towards you, I assumed…”

“But that doesn’t-”

“He brought her back to HQ later that night. He asked me to run scans on her and said he was going to distract her while I ran an analysis. That was it.”

“But it wasn’t, was it?!” Your furious tone made her flinch. Your eyes widened. “This is what you meant, wasn’t it? When you said he found something.”

“The scan came back negative for anomalies. She’s supposed to be here, she belongs in this world.” Your heart stopped.

“You mean…he has a chance…?”

“Any time I tried to get in contact with him that last couple of days, he told me he was off duty and that I should only contact him if there was an emergency. I thought…I was hoping he was spending it with you.” Your body was burning, the cold mixing with the chill that settled deep in your bones. Miguel, who you thought was the love of your life, had found something to bring back Gabriella, a second chance at the life that was cruelly taken from him. The happiness he had that, while he was very happy with you, didn’t stop you from catching him staring longingly at the only photo he had left of his daughter. “He loves you, you have to know that-”

“But why would he?” You ripped the watch off your arm, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. “I just…I want him to be happy, more than anything. And I can’t…I can’t give him Gabriella.” LYLA started to protest, but you just shook your head. “Just…take care of him for me, okay?”

“No! Wait!” You placed the watch gently on the floor of the building. She continued to shout, the familiar ding of Miguel’s notification blasting rapidly. “Don’t leave! Please!”

You smile sadly at her, turning on your heel, taking the short walk back to the sidewalk with her voice slowly fading away. Despite your best efforts, tears spilled over, too large to allow you to see beyond your feet as they dragged along the pavement. Hiccuping sobs made your steps stagger, nearly crashing into the hedges that ran along the length of the Spider Society HQ. With a huff, you finally had to sit down, allowing the painful weeps to bubble over. Your heart was breaking into a million pieces, and your hands were shaking too much to catch the pieces.

“Hey! You there! Are you okay?” The voice was faint, barely audible over the whirling thoughts that muted everything around you. A figure crouched down in front of you, but it was still too hard to make out any features. ”Woah! Wait, what are you doing here? Where is Miguel?” The figure’s hands came into view, but they didn’t get close enough to touch you, only just enough to see that they hovered awkwardly in mid-air.

“...Peter?” you said softly after a minute, blinking rapidly enough to barely make his face. You pushed the heels of your hands into your eyes, wiping away as many tears as you could. “What..what are you doing here?”

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” He finally settled on patting your head, though you could tell it did not come as easy to him as it did when he did the same to his daughter. “Why are you out here?”

“I, um…” You huffed. “I was just leaving.”

“Leaving?” You nodded.

“Yeah. I, uh…,” Think brain! Come on! “...am about to start a new project at work that will take me away for a while so I just wanted to say goodbye to everyone. I didn’t realize how late it was though.” Finally clear-visioned, you made eye contact with the Spider person you had come to know the most, smiling gently at him. “I didn’t think I would be seeing you, though.”

“I’m on patrol tonight since Miguel couldn’t be here.” Your heart panged dangerously hard. “I thought for sure-”

“I’m glad I was able to see you before I left,” you interrupted, pulling yourself to your feet. Peter B just stared in confusion, slowly rising after you. “It’s so last minute, I was just going to send you a message through L-LYLA,” you pushed through the stutter, “but now I can give you a real goodbye.” You hugged him fiercely. Peter B hesitated only a moment before hugging you back.

Your knees almost gave way at the comfort he provided, your arms locking even more. You were going to miss him, dearly. Now that Miguel had found his real love, where would that leave you in the mess that was the Spider Society? There was no reason for you to come back, not when Miguel was the only reason you went in the first place, but there were people in there you had come to care deeply for. Surely they would come out once in a while, maybe you could catch them then? Or maybe you could just walk up to the building like you always did, requesting LYLA to send them down so you guys could get something to eat together? The thought of your new friends made the pit in your stomach grow.

What would you do now? You had been so wrapped up in Miguel the last couple of months that you weren’t even sure what was going on on the day-to-day. Work had been so far from your mind that you had only taken on small projects here and there, leaving the bigger decisions to others so you wouldn’t have to stray so far from HQ. You hadn’t met up with your old friends and coworkers in months, let alone without Miguel at your side. Would they even want you back? How could they, when you had essentially broken their trust in you by picking a man over your friends, your work, your city?

You pushed your head into Peter B’s chest further, allowing yourself just a moment more of his support.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay?” His voice broke your swirling thought cycle, jolting you back to reality. You gently let him go, twitching your face into the best smile you could muster.

“I’m fine,” you lied, “just tired from all the preparation. I need to be heading back though.”

“Let me take you.” Before you could protest, he stopped you with a raised hand. “Please.” You smiled again, this time a little more sincere.

“Thank you, Peter.”

After arriving home, you rushed to your laptop, typing the fastest message you could to your coworkers. After a minute, the late crew chimed back, more than happy to have you on board for the underbelly project they were having a hard time finding a leader for. Their enthusiastic, praising messages brought a smile to your face.

This time, you swore, Miguel was going to get his happy ending, and you were going to get yours.

______________________________________________________________

masterlist l What is Laufeyfest? l Laufeyfest masterlist

#miguel o'hara imagine #miguel x reader #niguel o'hara one shot #laufeyfest #miguel o'hara x you #reader insert #spiderverse imagine #miguel imagine #spiderverse one shot #spiderverset angst #miguel o'hara imagines #miguel ohara fic #miguel ohara imagine #atspv x reader #miguel x you #miguel ohara x you

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meowzilla93 · 5 months

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The people need little known facts about Baxter! Just like random headcannons, like what's his favorite holiday and why, etc. etc. Basically please just tell me more about this silly little man :)

*cracks knuckles*

me? talk about my favourite love interest in OL:BA?

Thought you'd never ask :P

favourite holiday? we already know his favourite season is fall cause nostalgia, and I almost wanna think that eventually Thanksgiving is his holiday

you absolutely know why but if i must elaborate

he is just so damn thankful for being able to reconnect with people he truly cared for, and that those people didnt give up on him; if MC romanced him, all the more thankful he has someone he can trust and rely on for the rest of his life, and that he can provide that back

but it wasnt always and only after Step 4; he needs to reconnect first for this to eventuate

and you just know that he will love hosting and cooking; any excuse to learn new recipes and show off his skills

before step 4 though? i dont think he had one, and thats his parents fault

any sort of events like these he had to attend with his family and be the 'expected perfect son' which he loathed

i do believe this is canon (pls correct if wrong) but i truly do believe he did not have any friends at his private school, and actively hated going

rebel Baxter? he sure was in his own way

spare periods between classes; he wandered off grounds to a spot where he could avoid the pompous populace

talk back to teachers? you can guarantee that; just more in that incheek way where they couldnt really punish him for what he said

can see him being the type to screw around in class and just be a bit of a bother to the teachers and students, but he was an A+ student all the way

guarantee that when asked to answer questions in class, if he was in the right sort of mood, straight up makeup facts just for the lols

(his parents might have put a stop to that real quick though)

mans was a brat we know this, and it was making the OLNF friends that made him question his life and his upbringing more

this is a touch more sad, but i think early on, he didnt really understand his parents position on things like the LBGTQIA+ community and such until he saw people he cared about be treated poorly by them, or heard what they had to say behind closed doors

i think this truly broke him and is what started the rifts in his friendships as he didnt know how to approach this (he is a kid, we cant expect him to know)

but what he did know, he NEVER wanted to be like his parents, and this is when he started his plan on moving to Virginia for uni

ahem, lets get back to some light hearted sweet stuff

i recon he went full platinum white once - pure white hair (you cannot take this away from me) but the upkeep of that was more insane than just handling black

favourite flower! rose. come on. even Cove said it in Step 1: Fancy!

though if we must choose a second option, Lupine

it has that really pretty purple colour (his second favourite colour after black and white) and its symbolism is very much on par with what he truly wants from life

google that shit, and tell me im wrong

100% reads smut; Im talking like Victorian era smut (Johanna Linsday, Amanda Quick type stuff)

October is his favourite month - the world around him was covered in that beautiful auburn colour

He loves pumpkin spiced lattes (with oat milk of course)

PRESENTS! oh oh when its Christmas time, this is the hardest thing for him because he doesnt just wanna buy something random, it needs to have meaning

You wanted to go see a museum? here are some tickets

Missed this movie when it was screening? Here is the Extended Release with all the additions DVD

You have a favourite flower or plant that you can never really have cause it doesnt grow in the climate you live in? In a frame you received a pressed and dried version of it, so you can always have it with you

.....i need to stop otherwise ill just keep going

(pls dont stop asking me though, ill talk about Baxter till death and will make a million more posts)

#our life beginnings and always #baxter ward #olba #olba baxter #olba mc #our life #our life headcannons #headcannons #i will never get sick of talking about baxter

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guybitesatgames · 1 month

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you know video games, and you know vampires, yeah? whats the best vampire in a video game in your opinion?

Pardon me while I take advantage of the fact that "best" is a nebulous adjective.

If we take "best" to mean "the most closely fit to an archetypal vampire"...

I gotta go with the obvious answer: Castlevania's Alucard.

Isn't he a dhampir? Shouldn't it be Dracula?

Paradoxically, Alucard's condition as a dhampir makes him closer to an archetypal vampire than Dracula. Vampires are often used as an allegory for liminal identities - an AB person who can neither fit into group A because of their B traits nor fit into group B because of their A traits. Being only part vampire doubles down on this trope, and we occasionally see Alucard grapple with this, whereas Dracula is far past the point where he's struggling with his separation from humanity.

Besides, can Dracula do this?

Further, it might just be because we're playing as him, but we get to see Alucard doing a lot more vampire-things than we see Dracula doing. He's got bat form, he's got wolf form, he's even got the oft-forgot mist form and he sleeps in a coffin. We can presume that he inherited those things from his father, but Dracula's more likely to take on a war form more commonly associated with werewolves than that of the humble bat.

/|\ ^._.^ /|\ .𖥔 ݁ ˖🦇 ݁˖ ݁𖥔 . /|\ ^._.^ /|\

If we take "best" to mean "doing the best at vampirism"...

that would have to be Sebastian LaCroix of Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines fame.

Everyone else on this list plays nice- LaCroix treats people as playthings. As a character you are not meant to sympathize with, he's allowed to embrace the cutthroat-but-genteel nature of a vampire that protagonists can't. He's afforded the luxury of being a monster and that is a luxury he will indulge. Even though we don't see him drinking blood or flouncing around in a cape, he goes so overboard being a manipulative little leech that he has to take the top spot.

He's also the only one here to do the most vampiric thing of all - being undone by one's thirst.

/|\ ^._.^ /|\ .𖥔 ݁ ˖🦇 ݁˖ ݁𖥔 . /|\ ^._.^ /|\

If we take "best" to mean "my favorite, vampiric metrics be damned"...

I'd be remiss not to mention Valvatorez, best (and only?) vampire in the Disgaea series.

As one might expect from the Disgaea IP, he's a bit of a trope inversion; he's sworn off blood and he's only interested in power if it can be used to help those under his rule, but that's what makes him so lovable! The only king I stan is one who properly understands noblesse oblige. Instead of being the usual "powerful friend with a tragic cost", he's unflaggingly the friend who wants to make YOU powerful with the only drawback of probably having sardine breath. On all thematic points, he fails to live up to vampiric standards, but that reflects poorly on the standards, not on him. In a just world, all vampires would use their age as a source of wisdom to be shared and their strength as a means of helping up friends in need.

/|\ ^._.^ /|\ .𖥔 ݁ ˖🦇 ݁˖ ݁𖥔 . /|\ ^._.^ /|\

Honorable mention: myotismon in many of the Digimon games. Usually, he's a perfectly stand-up guy who just happens to have An Aesthetic that gives everyone the wrong idea and gets him in trouble.

Poor lad

#vampires #ask #Some Guy's Answers

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justsomerandomfanfic · 1 year

Text

Stitches - Thorin Oakenshield X GN Reader

Title: Stitches

Thorin Oakenshield X GN Reader

Additional Characters: The Company (Mentioned)

Modern AU / Magic AU

WC: 1,602

Warnings: Death mentioned, The Hobbit storyline mentioned, slight angst, and fluff

Pulling the thread and needle through the fabric, you let out a sigh, tying the thread and cutting the excess string. Placing down your craft supplies, you hold the finished plush in your hands, holding it up to stare at your masterpiece. You had been making a plush of your favorite Hobbit Dwarf, Thorin. It took a couple of months, but you were done. Staring into his black, shiny eyes, you smiled. He wasn't perfect, being your first plush you've ever made, but he was yours. His dark brown hair, made of felt, was sewn to his flesh colored fabric head. You made his beard with the same brown colored felt, and even braided brown yarn to make his braids. You gave him stubby limbs, and dressed him in a poorly fashioned outfit that looked sadly nothing like the one in the movie.

Overall, you were very proud of yourself, and decided to go out and get yourself a small treat for your great feat. So, placing the Thorin plush on your bed, you scooted off the mattress and grabbed your bag, before putting on your shoes and leaving your home. You wandered the streets, making your way to the nearby café, where you had bought yourself a small mocha. Walking inside the building, you took in the atmosphere. It was warm and cozy, with soft music playing and colorful lights decorating the walls. It gave you 70's vibes, which was nice. You ordered your drink, before leisurely making your way back home, occasionally sipping your drink as you did so.

Unlocking your door and entering your home once more, you kicked it closed behind you. Sitting your cup of coffee on the kitchen counter, you hummed a simple song as you toed off your shoes, taking them off and setting them neatly by the shoe rack. Heading to your room, you almost had a heart attack. There, standing in your room, was a person... A man... Who looked very similar to Thorin. The same hair, stature, and even though his back was turned to you, you knew it was him. You watched The Hobbit too many times, not to instantly recognize the Dwarf. But, how? You asked yourself. What magic was this? You didn't even think magic was real in your world.

"Uh... Hello?" You spoke up, startling the man as he turned around to look at you, eyes slightly wide as he stared at you with his deep blue eyes.

"Where am I? Who are you?" He commanded quickly, and you couldn't stop your heart from skipping a beat; he sounded just like Thorin, and looked just like him too.

"You're in my home, and my name is Y/N."

Thorin seemed defensive, looking at you skeptically, "Why am I here?" He asked, before looking around your room. "I recognized this place, for only a fleeting moment, but the last thing I remember was the feeling of being cold... Numb. Thinking back, my mind is a blur."

You frowned, realizing what he meant. The only understandable conclusion was that your plush of Thorin had come to life, and the last thing Thorin remembers was his death. But, how could that be possible? That world was fiction, so there’s no possible way that a toy could come alive… Right? You shook away those thoughts, trying to push them aside as you began answering Thorin's questions.

"Well, I had made a... A doll of you and I think you came to life." You said sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck, as Thorin looked up at you once more.

"What do you mean?" He asked, "I am confused."

"Me too." You answered, "I have no idea what is happening."

"Then we are in agreement." Thorin spoke, before taking a seat on your bed. "You say I was this doll that you made. And the last thing I felt was numbness, a cold chill..." Looking up at you, he frowned, "Am I dead? Or has some... magic sent me to this world?"

You had a loss for words, "I- I don't know. I'm sorry. All I know is that I finished making a plush of you and then left for a coffee. And when I came back you were here and my plush was gone." You ranted, running a hand through your hair.

"You made me..." Thorin muttered, repeating his words, "So, you know of me?" He asked, and you nodded.

"Yes, in this world, you are a fictional character -- a story book character. Someone made you into a story a long time ago and then they made a movie about you and your Company reclaiming Erebor." You explained and Thorin closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath.

He clenched his fists as he quickly opened his eyes, "I do not understand what this place is or why I am here, or what happened to me to have brought me here..." He began, staring at your bedroom floor, "But, you must help me get back to my Company."

You bit your lip, "Thorin... I don't know if I can. I don't even know how you are real right now..." You sighed heavily, “Honestly, I’m freaking out right now.”

Thorin raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean? Why can you not help me?" You could see he was growing upset.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair again, "Like I said, in this world, you are not real." You paused, before heading to your shelf and pulling The Hobbit DVD off the shelf, you offered Thorin the case, where he could see a picture of himself on the cover. "Well, now you're real, but I'm sorry... I have no idea how I can send you back."

Thorin was quiet as he stared at the DVD case, staring at himself. You sighed, hesitantly making your way over to him, sitting beside him on your bed. "Look, I know it might sound crazy," You began softly, "But maybe there’s a reason you were sent to this world." You wondered and Thorin looked over at you.

"What do you mean?" He asked, and you bit your lip, looking down at your socked feet.

"Uh, maybe something in the world or the universe wanted to give you a second chance." You spoke, unable to look him in the eyes.

"A second chance?" He asked, and you nodded before sighing shakily.

You swallowed thickly before speaking, "You died, Thorin." Thorin looked at you, shocked and you continued, "So that's why the last thing you remember is feeling cold and numb... You were on that frozen river."

Thorin looked back at the DVD in his hands, and you waited patiently for him to speak. He finally did, after several minutes of silence.

"Thank you." He whispered, causing you to look up. Your brows furrowed in confusion. He looked down at the case of The Hobbit once more, "I'm starting to remember... I remember my Company... and Bilbo." He looked back up at you, his sad blue eyes staring into yours. "Are they alright? Did we reclaim our homeland?"

You felt the tears well up in your eyes, "Yes, you reclaimed Erebor." You nodded, "The battle... Many were lost."

"As with every great battle." Thorin interrupted as you nodded again in agreement. "But what of my kin?" You stayed silent, and that was all he needed to hear. You both stayed silent for another long while, and the tension in the air was thick. But, eventually, Thorin broke the silence. You went to open your mouth to say something, but he quickly stood up and walked over to the window. "I am stuck here... In this world." He spoke, turning to face you, as his expression was hard to read.

You shrugged, "I don't know for sure that you are stuck here, Thorin." You began, standing up yourself, and walking over to him. "But, you are more than welcome to stay."

"Thank you," He stated, as he looked out the window, watching as the sun set, casting him in a beautiful orange hue. You followed his gaze and smiled sadly, looking away, before clearing your throat and looking back at the Dwarf. "May I stay here tonight?" He asked, and you nodded.

"Of course, um... Do you want anything? Water? Milk?" You asked, gesturing towards the door, wanting desperately to do something, anything to help Thorin.

"Water will suffice. Thank you." His tone was polite and formal, and you nodded before leaving the room to fetch your drinks.

When you returned, he was still looking out the window and, upon seeing you enter, his eyes lit up. You handed him the glass of water which he gave you a small sad smile in thanks. You sipped your drink, standing awkwardly near him, before he spoke up.

"You say this is my second chance." He began, voice deep as he continued, "Maybe Mahal sent me here after my death... To give me this second chance?"

You hesitated before responding, "That would explain a lot..." You mumbled.

Thorin smiled slightly, and you saw his eyes dart across the room. "It will take time to get used to this strange place. It seems we are going to be spending a lot of time together." He took a sip of his water.

"Yeah," You agreed, before smiling to yourself, "We'll figure this out, okay, Thorin?"

He nodded, staring back out the window as the stars began to fill up the sky. Deep down, he missed his home, his family. But, he knew that this place with you, he'd be able to find comfort.

_______________________________________________

Let me know if I should make a Part 2

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acourtofthought · 11 months

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Have you been shipping Elucien since the beginning (ACOWAR, since ACOMAF didn’t really have them interact except at the end)?

I didn't ship Elucien at first.

Not that I was against them. When they were made mates then we got Lucien's POV and later Elain invited him back to Velaris, I was fine with where the story was headed.

But then it looked like things took a turn in a different direction in ACOFAS and I was ok with that too. I was just going whatever way I thought the author was pointing me in me because I wasn't invested in anyone beyond Rhys and Feyre. Really, I've never been one to ship a couple outside the endgame couple (to this day, I will always be 100% fine that Ron and Hermione ended up together and have never imagined her with Draco or Harry) so it's not often that I want to see a couple get together unless it's the authors intended plan.

I also never thought that there could be things going on in the story beyond what the author was telling us so when SJM had a character say one thing, I assumed that's all there was to it. I never realized she placed messages within messages and had little hints scattered all over. I never realized that two characters could be talking about one character and what they're talking about would be important down the road, but for an entirely different character than the one they were originally talking about.

So I went into SF assuming that she decided against Elucien and was going the route of E/riel. As soon as I read the Bonus Chapter, I remember thinking, "that doesn't sound good". 😂 I couldn't understand it because it did feel like she decided on E/riel but all of a sudden Az was coming across as a loose canon who wasn't interested in Elain for the right reasons.

Still, I didn't feel that strongly about who Elain was going to be with until I joined the FB fandom and saw all the Elain slander. I saw the mentions of how she could never end up with Az because she wasn't good enough for him, how she was definitely evil because his shadows hid from her but not Gwyn, how Gwyn was brave for leaving the library after two years while Elain was a giant crybaby for mourning Graysen and the loss of her humanity for 2 months. How it was ridiculous that Nesta wanted to protect Elain but it was so sweet how Nesta felt protective of Gwyn. How Gwyn standing up to Nesta and demanding she treat her like a person was amazing but Elain standing up to Nesta made her a bitch. How Elain's gardening was pathetic but Gwyns bracelet making was adorable. I remember getting into some pretty intense arguments with Gwynriels and I set out to prove that Elain was good enough to end up with Az and the Bonus Chapter didn't mean E/riel was over.

Again, it's not that I even cared about E/riel so much as I hated seeing some tear apart Elain while raving over Gwyn even though their characters weren't that drastically different.

I started deep diving into the books and I joined Tumblr to keep a record of my thoughts. But what ended up happening is I started to realize how poorly matched Elain and Az are. It's not that Elain isn't good enough for Az; if anything both Gwyn and Elain are too good for Az right now. And both Elain and Lucien became my absolute favorites, even more than Feysand. Their personalities became more rich each time I read over their scenes and I completely understood how their mating bond took SJM by surprise. SJM was happily writing Lucien while Elain was a world away, them being together not a thought in her mind yet there were parallels even then. And I could see all the fun little hints that SJM planted once she did realize they'd be mates, things I never noticed the first time around. Lucien taking those first steps towards Elain before she was turned, Elain finally coming out of her comatose state within days of Lucien's arrival. Her never leaving her room until the day he ended up in the library. Her saying she needed sunshine before SJM dropped the Helion is Lucien's baby daddy bomb, the fact that while SJM has Feyre talk about E/riel being mates, the personalities of Rhys's parents (who had an ill suited bond) are identical to those of Elain and Az. And if someone pays any attention to SJMs books they realize that just because an Archeron pushes her mate away, there is still an extremely good chance they're ending up together regardless of how impossible it seems before their book.

Reading back over the series, I was also able to appreciate Gwyn in a way I hadn't before (I think we all understand how certain sides of the fandom can make us dislike certain characters. I have Gwynriel friends who aren't fans of Elain for this very reason). I could see how compatible she and Az seem to be and how their interactions make him so much more likeable than he's been as of late.

As it stands, Elucien is the first couple I've ever truly shipped without knowing if they'll end up together and it's awesome because I'm so excited for their story but it's also frustrating because I hate being kept in suspense and this has been a LONG wait 😂

#elucien

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sublimecatgalaxy · 2 years

Note

Tumblr has been eating messages and requests lately so the lovely @ateliefloresdaprimavera sent in a request to my inbox and I figured I'd still put it in a request form so they can get the notification when it comes out!

The request is for an OC!Henderson!Reader (only OC because making the character a biologically sibling of a character implies assigned race/ethnicity and Dustin is white) x Billy Hargrove. Kind of enemies to lovers where he starts off kind of skeptical of her but eventually comes around and they become like The Couple of the Hawkins group.

I pray this is good.

If you asked anyone in the group of misfits that I watch over, 'who's the leader', they wouldn't hesitate to say that it's Steve. Steve has been the staple babysitter for the longest time, taking care of my younger brother Dustin and his friends, for almost three years. He's a good role model, especially since he dropped his douchebag attitude and developed a personality.

I mean, I think that anyone would improve upon themselves and gain a few braincells back after dropping Carol and Tommy as friends, let's be honest.

He was just a solid dude with a good head on his shoulders and after all of the near death experiences and weird multi-dimensional demons we've fought, they couldn't have asked for a better role model.

Except for me.

Steve was deemed the team mom for the longest time and has even started to develop some maternal instincts; putting himself on the line for the safety of the kiddos, giving the unwarranted advice, not totally understanding the term TMI, and he's annoyed by them a perfect amount for him to be deemed 'mom'.

And yeah, he might be the mom of the group, but I'm the daddy.

Every single thing that mine and Dustin's dad missed out on, I was there for those kids. I was the dad who went and got the milk and actually came home. I was, for them, what I needed from such a young age and it's ended up mending that empty space in Dustin's heart that he's felt every day that he's grown up without a dad.

But every birthday, I was there, every school project and Hellfire campaign, I was prepared to help them get ready, every frustrated tear, every world ending catastrophe- all you could see was me. A second parent to all of them, an older sister- anything they needed, they could find in me.

But somewhere between the mind flayer and Vecna, I got a bit lost.

Maybe not lost but distracted to say the least.

I've always hated people who use a position of power to inflict pain upon other people. You see a lot these days in men, especially my age, getting ahead of themselves and becoming way too full of themselves. Science would tell you that they're just wired differently, that men have this ego thing and it typically relates back to being treated poorly by one of their parents.

It's ironic how the same types of abuse occurs in females, yet, most of the time, we're not raging psychopaths. Most of the time.

The first time I saw Billy Hargrove becoming a bit too snippy with Max, I watched and waited for something to happen- something big enough to give me a reason to intervene. It's not like I had been waiting to punch him across his silly, stupid, handsome face, or anything.

Except I totally had been waiting for that exact opportunity.

And boy, oh boy, did I get it.

I watch from the steps of the arcade as Billy storms around the other side of the car to glare down at Max, a menacing smile on his lips as he mutters quiet words to her. The red head looks tense, her eyes looking anywhere but his as he quietly chastises her, his fists clenching at his sides and she goes to finally open her mouth in words of rebuttal.

I know how this goes, the anger and the frustration, he was bound to snap sooner or later with Max being out and about so much with me and the others. I could only imagine the back talk that he was getting from his dad every time that Max was out a little too late and, though Max didn't see it, I saw that every time she slipped up, Billy was the one getting punished for it.

But somewhere between Billy cornering her against the car and practically spitting in her face, Max finally has enough and steps away from Billy, pushing him a bit with her shoulder. I can tell by the look in his eyes that it would not fly well and he almost immediately reaches forwards with unrelenting speed, wrapping his fingers tightly around her wrist and he tugs her back towards him.

I'm on my feet in a moments notice, marching over towards them as Max catches me out of the corner of her eyes, urging me not to get involved but there isn't a care in the world. He would not get away with being so cruel to her and he wouldn't dare lay a finger on me.

My hands push him roughly away from Max, his eyes slitting and his lips part to argue but he doesn't get a second to speak before my hand is slapping him across his face. He groans loudly at the sting, immediately reaching up to coddle his sore cheek as I tug Max into my side.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" He spits, the red mark on his cheek only making me grin as I rub up and down Max's trembling back.

"Not your bitch and neither is she."

All it took was for his fingers to wrap around the pale girls wrist, tugging her towards him to spit some awful words in his face and I was pushing him away from her, slapping a hand right across his face. He was stunned for a few moments, gawking at me with wide eyes, a smirk too, before muttering out a 'who's this?' to Max moments later.

I explained that I had recently taken her under my wing and that obviously no one was looking out for her or her safety. He was almost annoyed at first, eyes looking me up and down, almost trying to figure me out as if I had an ulterior motive.

But he learned eventually that there were no ulterior motives, I slapped him because he was being a dick and I hung out with Max because she needed someone to look out for her and care for her.

Which, apparently, I would end up doing for both of them months down the line.

Billy and I, at first, were in no means friends. We weren't amicable, we didn't like each other or have any common ground other than the fact that we knew the same people. And I had met him in his life guard days, where he was the most self deluded version of himself. Maybe it was the mind flayer but maybe it wasn't, maybe the supernatural aspect just brought out the even more accurate, terrifying version of himself.

It scared Max but it scared me just as much. We knew he was dangerous, that he was capable of a lot of things, but we never realized just how much of an asset he would become when the evil side of Hawkins took over.

"Billy, this isn't you, stop." Max mutters behind me as I hold my hand up to the glass, looking through the sauna window at Billy but he doesn't look like him. His eyes are more sunken in, hopeless and completely at the will of something else, something distant and far away from me and from the rest of us. He's normally got a look of anger behind his eyes but he looks nothing but calm.

The calm always comes before the storm right?

He just looks at me, ignoring the bickering behind me, tracing his gaze over the grooves and dips of my face, as if he's trying to place me in his memories- like the mind flayer is sifting through Billy's memories to find where I fit in his life.

He pauses, a small smile stretching across his lips in subtle familiarity and it makes me flush, nervous that the mind flayer would say something, that he would speak horrible things about me from deep within Billy's subconscious. But he doesn't, his lips part as if he's going to say something but he doesn't, he just looks from me to Max who stands beside me, her eyes staring into his lifeless ones.

"Why is he acting like he doesn't know you?" Lucas asks behind us and my chin cranes to look back at him, sighing with a heavy heart. I know exactly why he looks like he doens't know me and there's one other person in this room who knows it even better. My eyes turn to Will next who already has a knowing, terrified look on his face.

"It's like when I was possessed by the mind flayer, I didn't even know who Bob was o-or Hopper." Will explains, a look of realization passing through everyone's expression at the memory of Will being completely and utterly gone.

Just like Billy is right now.

When he survived the mind flayer, no one really knew what to do with him.

Here he was, retired bad guy who had his body used by an inter-dimensional freak who needed him to carry out his bidding. He was trapped in his own body for the longest time as is, following exactly in his fathers footsteps- racist, dark, demanding, dominant, judgmental- as to not upset him, to make his dad feel a sliver of pride.

Daddy issues, am I right?

When he came out of the mind flayer, he was hospitalized for the huge gash on his abdomen, Max and I stood at the end of the bed and just game planned for hours on how to deal with him; we had no clue if he would remember anything that happened or if he would be different like Will.

We imagined that if he did remember everything, he would hate himself, beat himself up just like Will did and need hours and hours of supervision and help. But Max explained that he wouldn't take it, he would never take help or comfort especially when he felt like he didn't deserve it.

But when he finally woke up after days, he was terrified. He didn't trust that we were there, that what he was experiencing was real or not. He kept looking through Max and I, not focusing on us long enough to even recognize who we were for a few days. It took weeks of therapy and patience for him to actually start to open up to us about how it was like.

He described that the mind flayer would show him images, dream-like pictures, of the people around him and he never knew whether it was real or not and it led to him not knowing what actually happened over the course that he was 'taken over'.

My eyes widen at the sight of Billy's gaze locked on me, a slight familiar look behind his tired, red eyes. He has dark circles around his hues, his hair matted against his forehead from sweat. I just hand him a glass of water which he takes almost immediately, lip quivering as he takes a sip. Billy's eyes are the definition of sunken in as he looks around the room, jaw gritting at the sight of Max sleeping beside his bed, tears strained on her pale cheeks. He almost looks sad that she's sad, biting at his lip that's already cracked and broken. He looks to me next, his lips parting as the realization crumbles down onto him that he's finally back in his own body, safe and sound.

"How many people did I hurt?" He asks, voice gravely and hoarse as his lips tug down into a frustrated frown. My heart aches at the sight of him showing a sliver of vulnerability, a side to him that not a lot of people have actually had the pleasure to see. Knowing this is hard on him, I take a breath, realizing that the last thing he needs is to be reminded of the horrific pain that we all went through. He doesn't need anymore demons. I know that he's probably beating himself up as it is at the thought of being completely out of control, watching himself hurting everyone else around him without the ability to stop.

So, to take the tension off, my mind does the only thing that I can think of doing.

Cracking a joke.

"Because of the mind flayer or in general?" I tease quietly, having some apprehension, not wanting to make him upset. But moments later, I watch his face relax a bit at the non-judgmental tone in my voice. A small, tired smile spreads across his lips, his shoulders drooping a bit back into the bed at the playful edge that's cut through the tension in the room.

"You're still being an asshole to me, sweetheart? Really?"

After that, he didn't talk about it unless it was absolutely necessary.

Still to this day it's like pulling teeth.

But the only silver-lining with the town going to shit, with Billy getting scarily wounded, was that it was the final straw that sent his dad over the edge. When Billy was released from the hospital, we all found out that his dad had left in the time that we were there, waiting for him to come back to his normal self and to finally be released. Max's mom had been at the hospital with us, staying overnight for days on end while his dad was at home packing his shit and taking all of the money from their joint bank account.

He ran away with his tail between his legs, leaving his son, wife and step daughter to fend for themselves.

I was the one who actually ended up finding the trailer opening at the park, Max's eyes dulling a bit at the glum vibe that was given off by the small community but at least Eddie lived across the street. That would mean that Lucas would be over there along with the rest of the gang.

Speaking of Lucas, Max and I both held it over Billy's head that he was an asshole to Lucas the most and that the boy deserved more than an apology from the recovering man. Billy was hesitant at first, not understanding the need to apologize or maybe he just didn't want to admit that he was a terrible person.

He claimed it was ingrained in his mind from a young age and, maybe he's right, but that was no longer a sound excuse for him to use with me around. He eventually apologized to the boy and the rest of the friend group, including Steve, even though he was embarrassed and felt utterly stupid.

Max and I even believed his apology was sincere.

But the true reason why he hated me so much at first was because I could pick him apart. He hated me at first because I was not afraid to call him out on his bullshit whether it was regarding Max or school, or even his racist comments towards Lucas; I would be there to chew his ass off and make him walk off like a kicked puppy.

But eventually, that anger and annoyance shifted to familiar care and even admiration through all that we had been through and everything that Hawkin's put him through. Eventually it would come out that his mother left at a young age, Max would realize why he was so bitter about her mom, realizing he just didn't trust or like woman that much. He was always afraid of making new friendships and relationships out of fear that he would become too much like his father and that they would run for the hills as quickly as they came.

It was weird to see him softening, to see him apologizing and making right with the people around him, not because we told him to, but because he wanted to be done with it and put it behind him. It was weird when the both of us realized that we were actually becoming friends and it was even more shocking when we realized there was more than friendship between the two of us.

But no matter how strong our personalities were, there was no ignoring our feelings when Max was constantly pointing them out.

"You guys are terrible liars." Max suddenly speaks up from the backseat after minutes of silence, taking Billy and I off guard as we look to each other before stopping at a red light, turning in our spots to look back at the red head.

"Where on earth did that come from?" I ask, deadpanning a smile with a tired look. I know that she knows. She sort of, kind of, walked in on Billy and I moments before we left for the arcade, my mind still replaying the moment that just happened not even twenty minutes ago. I was wondering when she was going to bring it up but I didn't think it would be today let alone right now.

Max just smiles with a shit eating grin and points between Billy and I.

"You two, you're just terrible liars. You act like no one sees it but we all do." She says simply, almost as if she's proud for figuring it out, but I continue to protest and feign ignorance, my brows furrowing, gaze turning to Billy. He just shakes his head with wide eyes, before turning his attention back to the road.

"What do you mean?" Billy asks, looking at the girl through the rearview mirror as I watch him, his fingers tightening around the wheel in anticipation as Max laughs behind us.

"I mean, how you guys are fucking each other and giving each other heart eyes. You think we don't see it but we do- I see it-"

"Max-"

"No, Billy- look," she pauses, sitting up to look at him from between the seats," you've been through shit in the last few months. If you found comfort in Y/n, I get it- so did I. But be fucking honest about it and show her off cuz she deserves to be shown off."

As thrilled and supportive as Max was, Dustin was not as thrilled to find out that Billy and I were together.

Maybe it was because I'm his older sister who really never entertained any sort of relationships with people. I was always there, always responsible for him and the rest of the group, especially after everything that happened with Will. No one would've understood the huge secret that Hawkins was hiding and it's not like I could exactly hide that from someone when dating them. So I just waited and hoped that someone would get involved in the mess and become a potential suitor.

But it just never happened.

Eddie wasn't my type and I don't think I was his, Steve and I were like platonic parents of the kiddos, and everyone else was taken or thinking of someone else. It was just complicated, so I stuck to my role as the older sister and focused on protecting the people who I love.

Dustin also has been more protective over me than anyone else in my life so it wasn't exactly easy to date with him breathing down the back of my neck. Any new friend or crush that I would have, he'd ask an impossible amount of questions and pry into any sort of business that I have. I couldn't keep anything from him so it's not like it was easy when I actually had to come clean to him and tell him that Billy and I were pursuing each other on the down low.

Dustin just didn't understand and that in itself, to me, was understandable. He didn't see all the behind the scenes stuff, only hearing about how Billy had become nicer to Max and I, and how he stopped terrorizing Lucas and owned up to his toxic, oppressive behavior. Dustin really didn't believe it and, to be honest, he had no reason to believe it.

But, days after telling him, Dustin told the rest of the group and eventually they all rounded up and sat us down, forcing us to explain 'what happened' and why all of a sudden we were closer than before.

"This is a joke, right?" Steve asks with a frown, pointing between Billy and I who sit awkwardly on the couch in Eddie's trailer. I send him a quick glance, asking him quietly to take this one. I was in charge of telling Dustin and explaining how we fell for each other to Max but he was in charge of explaining it to everyone else.

The group looks at us, confused and full of questions, all of them silently begging us to explain how this relationship came about.

"Not a joke, Harrington." Billy sighs, looking down at his lap before reaching over to take my hand in his. A few gasps sound out from around the room, my eyes rolling as my head flops back to rest against the couch. "Not that it's any of your goddamn business but, yeah, we're together." He says with a forced smile, looking around the room with a 'well?' expression, begging anyone else to just say something.

"I'm just confused as to when this happened?" Robin scoffs, reaching up to rub her hands down her face before looking to me, wondering why I never opened up to her about my feelings for Billy but there's some truth behind the fact that he snuck up on me in a way.

"Me too honestly." Dustin chuckles and my jaw drops, feeling utterly betrayed because I thought I was passed explaining this to him. "I'm confused as to when it happened. Was it after the mind flayer but before Vecna or sometime other than that?" His question makes my head spin, especially because Billy and I never actually talked about when our feelings developed for one another.

One day, they where just there.

"The confusion thickens." Eddie chuckles, clapping his hands, taking the attention off of Billy and I as the group looks to him. "Let's leave the lovebirds alone and maybe talk about something a little more fascinating because I'm sure we all can assume that this 'relationship' definitely started with them hate fucki-"

"Ew Eddie- gross."

Maybe it was the effort that Billy was putting into changing himself and being less like his dad, maybe it was his sudden kindness towards Max and her mom, though he still held some sort of annoyance towards both of them; something pushed me towards him and I couldn't explain it.

Maybe it was trauma.

Eventually, Billy would slowly acclimate to the group and helping out in the more supernatural aspects of the town, hating the rural space more than he did before. He felt unsafe and unsteady now knowing what was actually out there, hiding under the surface of our homes.

But now he had something that he never had before. He had people, an actual family and friends. He was done being the new king of Hawkins, he was done with the fighting and the bullying. He was trying his best to settle into being an actual human, with actual goals and relationships with people around him.

People like me.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane2828 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi

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