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#and also need someone to write a fanfiction about them like this because my talent for writing is zero
sohndesmondes · 2 years
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In a alternative universe Robin works in a coffee shop and Nancy goes there every day to write her newspaper stuff with the excuse that "this coffee shop is the only one with decent coffee in the whole town" when actually all her friends know it's because she likes to look at Robin while Robin works in her two jobs (making coffee for people and making fun of Steve)
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evasive-anon · 3 months
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Jason Attacking Tim at Titans Tower
Fanon vs Canon
We've all seen the versions in fanfiction but I'm not so sure everyone's seen the original so if you're one of those batfam fans who doesn't want to read the comics (regardless of reasons) but you are curious about how it actually went this is for you.
What I'm addressing:
What does Jason actually say to Tim during the attack?
Did Jason drug all the other Titans?
Did Jason really wear a Robin costume?
Did Jason slit Tim's throat or call him replacement?
Did Jason actually break Tim's bo staff?
Was Tim crying or scared?
Did Jason write a message on the wall in Tim's blood?
Did Jason's eyes glow green?/Did he follow pit rage mechanics?
Panels and details below. This is a LONG one.
What did Jason actually say to Tim during the attack?
Dialogue in fanfiction during the Titans Tower attack varies based on what kind of fic you're reading but usually its either 'time to clip Replacement's wings' if its staying a beatdown whump 'or oh no precious lil bby why is no one watching you' if its an accidental child acquisition. Not judging either option, but this ain't about them its about the real shit.
Look at these opening lines:
Hey, Tim. I was here first.You're the Red Hood. You've been cleaning up Gotham the easy way. Easy? What do you know about easy, Tim? You had a father that looked after you. You went to a private school, right? You slept in a bed. I slept on the streets, I lived in the alleyways in Gotham. Trying to survive. Until Bruce took me in. I trained as hard as I could. I did whatever he asked. . . at least at first. But it didn't matter. They said I wasn't tough enough to be robin. But today, they say you are. Show me, Tim. Show me what you have that I didn't.
Jason really puts himself out there in all of his dialogue in this encounter, the struggle of having to fight for anything and everything he got in life, even the things that came to everyone else for free, and then being told he wasn't even good enough for the things he fought for.
There's a trope in fanfics that if Jason knew Tim stalked Batman and forced his way into being Robin that it would change how Jason felt about the situation but that's even addressed in this comic:
You were a kid, worried about how Batman was spiraling down into darkness. You spent weeks tracking the dark knight. Solving a mystery no one else could. You discovered who he was behind that mask. Millionaire Bruce Wayne. You were so pleased with yourself, I'm sure that you forgot who you were really dealing with. I know Bruce Wayne. And let me tell you, Tim if someone was trying to find out who Batman really was. If someone was stalking him for weeks. He'd know about it. You can't be that good. I am. He let you find him. And I bet he said the same thing to you as he did to me, didn't he? That you had a talent to make a difference in Gotham. That he needed someone he could trust in war on crime. That you were one of a kind. The light to his darkness. Robin, the Boy Wonder.
Tim saying 'I am' is really such a moment that doesn't come through in text because he is right that he really did do that but I also completely understand why Jason wouldn't believe it.
TBH my favorite part is how done Tim honestly sounds with Jason thoughout all his trauma dumping. Like imagine a grown man who used to work the same part time job as you breaking into your house, dressing up in your work uniform, ranting about how much the job ruined his life while he beats your ass??? God, and he probably had to write a fucking report about it after. RIP Timmy.
What do you want? Do you want to be Robin again? Is that it? You... want to take it away from me? Why in the hell would I ever want that? Don't you get it? When I died no one cared! No one remembered me. Are you completely insane? No one could forget you. I've spent my entire career wearing this mask under your shadow. I had to convince Batman to let me try this. All because he'll never stop blaming himself for what happened to you. You ask me, that's the only reason he hasn't taken you down. He's holding back. But me? No freakin' way. That's the Robin I wanted to see. Still. You do realize the whole idea of training a teenager to fight against something he'll never eradicate is a mistake. It didn't even surprise anyone when I died. When I failed. I failed-- but I'm still beating you. Do you think you're that good now?! Do you really, Tim? Yes.
Tim bashing Jason across the face as he says 'no freakin' way'? *chefs kiss*
Jason drugging the other Titans to knock them out?
Little bit true, Kory was actually just already away from the tower and BB and Cyborg were about to bounce because of the drama going on with Donna's return but Jason like super tazes them and then drugs Raven who he thought already went through enough shit without him knocking her out violently.
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Note: Jason says in the text here that he never rolled with Cyborg or BB but like he actually did in some comics so?? The continuity is lie I guess idk.
Did he show up in Red Hood gear or a Robin costume?
Both tbh but he spent most of the time in the Robin costume but bro actually made a stripper rip away version of his Red Hood gear so he could dramatically reveal the Robin costume underneath. I can't believe no one ever includes that in their fics its so fucking funny.
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Does he call Tim 'replacement' or slit his throat?
No, this came from a Batman comic with Hush not Teen Titans. That incident takes place in a graveyard not Titans Tower and he calls Tim pretender not replacement.
Does Jason break Tim's staff?
Tragically, no. The bo staff snap would have been iconic. Instead he just takes Tim's staff and beats Tim up with it and breaks stuff. BUT!! He uses it to bust a statue in the TITANS MEMORIAL ROOM which is a place in Titans Tower just for having statues of dead previous titans and Jason is rightfully pissed he didn't get one. Like Tim is correct in saying no one forgot him still but like I would be hurt too if all my friends made cool statues of friends that died and then just left my zombie ass out, like wtf.
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Note: I am seriously losing my shit that I have never seen someone bring up the memorial room in a fanfic. That is so much angst material. 😭
Tim crying/ being scared?
Hell no. He's a fucking Robin you know he's being a sassy boy the whole time, even towards the end when he's about done he's still saying he's her and I love Tim for that.
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Note: There are a few different times where Tim does a flippy Robin move and then Jason just fucking copies it like flexing that he can do it too, and its just so petty and stupid he's trying so hard to be better than an actual child. 💀I get why in the context of the situation but its still so ridiculous.
Message on the wall in Tim's blood?
TBH I really don't know for sure on this one?? Like its implied that he did but Tim isn't bleeding all that much throughout this beatdown and like we don't see Jason do it just the Titans reacting to seeing it after. It could be Tim's blood, it could be red paint, and it could even be that Jason packed an actual bucket of blood to bring with him to write a message with after he finished. TBH the world is your oyster on this one.
Note: If anyone can find another comic where this event was brought up where they actually clarify it was Tim's blood hmu and I'll update this but I couldn't find any.
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Pit rage/ glowing green eyes?
Fanon only at this point in the comics. Jason is seems to be himself and even thinks Tim and his friends are pretty cool at the end, and he's just like reflecting on if he had good friends if he would have turned out better as he leaves.
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floralcyanidee · 8 months
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ɪ sᴇᴇ ғɪʀᴇ - ᴊ. ʀᴏʙᴇʀᴛ ᴏᴘᴘᴇɴʜᴇɪᴍᴇʀ
Cillian!Oppenheimer x AFAB!Reader (NSFW)
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request: scientist reader and Oppenheimer have sm sexual tension between them and trying to hide their feelings for each other cause they're colleagues but then when the Manhattan Project comes up and they both work on it together it just gets too much to handle. by @aporiasposts
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disclaimer: this is a work of fanfiction. cillian's representation of oppenheimer is also fictional to a degree. if you dislike this kind of fanfiction, please keep scrolling and do not interact with this post. otherwise, have a lovely day. ♥
warnings: smut, penetrative sex, p in v sex, unprotected sex, multiple positions used, mutual pining, years of sexual tension
word count: 2090
author’s note: please read the disclaimer several times if you must before you decide to comment something snarky or send a dense anonymous ask. (: this is my first time writing smut for Robert so it was interesting!! I rather enjoyed it and I think I'm going to finish the other smut I was going to write for him. also, I changed the request details a little. reader is a historian/ political scientist of sorts instead of a scientist. I feel like there is a lot of scientist!reader fics out there and wanted to be a little different haha. I hope everyone enjoys!
main masterlist | cillian murphy masterlist | add yourself to the taglist here
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Having a doctorate in history has led you to places you never thought possible. One of those places ended up being the University of California - Berkeley. You were given the opportunity to lecture there with some of the brightest minds in the country- one of them being physicist Dr. J. Robert Oppenheimer. Your disciplines differed but had the same solid foundation of facts, evidence, and logic. Needing to see things to believe it for yourself was one thing the two of you had in common, which brought you together. You were interested in his lectures and as he was yours. Both of you have learned a lot from each other and have become good friends. However, there were times when you would interact, and it felt intense. You’d grade papers together in comfortable silence, sometimes stealing glances at one another. Whenever you caught Robert staring, you’d give him a small, knowing smile. When he caught you staring, he’d hold your gaze, which made you nervous. 
You enjoyed attending Robert’s political discussions after class to see how passionate he was about current issues. Dr. Lawrence, your other beloved colleague, often warned you to avoid them, but you ignored him. The energy you’d feel toward Robert every time he’d rant about how every person deserves the freedom and the right to choose was electric. It was the very basis of your beliefs as a historian and a professor. The two of you would often go for a cigarette in the courtyard between classes to enjoy the fresh air and discuss politics. Robert loved hearing your stance on things, especially since you knew your stuff about the history of politics and how things work with them. The tensions were high that day, and before you knew it, Robert leaned into you as you spoke. But before anything could happen, it was time for classes to resume. So you went your respective ways. 
When you were contacted by the government to assist on a top-secret project, you were shocked. They needed your expertise in politics and history, as well as your reading and writing skills. You asked if Robert would be involved due to his talent in psychics, but you got no answer. You didn’t take long to learn of Dr. Lawrence’s involvement in the project, and you were ecstatic to have someone you knew tagging along. He was worried about Robert not being present for the Manhattan Project simply because of his mutual and close friends being communists. You insisted you’d speak to Robert about the matter, but Ernest objected. However, after a meeting about the Spanish Revolution that Robert had held, Ernest blew up on him. He mentioned there was a project and that Robert wasn’t allowed on it as long as he was sticking his nose in communist politics. So, Robert stopped the meetings, and sure enough, General Leslie Groves eventually poked his way into Robert’s office one afternoon to discuss the Project. 
Now, the three of you were involved and had to leave Berkeley. Robert quickly assumed the position of Project leader and already had a location picked out for the Project headquarters. You had heard many stories of this location from him and demanded he take you to it before construction began. You and Robert left Berkeley and traveled to Los Alamos via horse, talking and laughing the whole time about your childhoods and times in school. You both decided to camp there overnight and enjoy the desert and its beautiful sky before dealing with the most significant project in human history. As you sat by the fire that night with Robert, you stared at the sky in wonder. Robert watched you with just as much wonder, enjoying seeing you smile. Because pretty soon, there wouldn’t be much to smile about.
By the time you had moved into Los Alamos and started getting to work, the tension between you and Robert was becoming impalpable. The camping trip solidified whatever was going on between you two- even if it was nothing at all as of right now. Robert ensured you were at every meeting so you could give your two cents if it was needed; you were the brains and the empathy of the project. Gen. Groves admired you for it because no matter how steep the project was getting, you never once panicked or got in over your head. He also admired how you managed to keep your hands off Robert despite how you looked at him. And one day, he mentioned it to you.
“What’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get out of here?” Gen. Groves asked you one day during a field test.
“Oh, uh,” you hadn’t given it much thought, “I’m not sure. Probably continue lecturing.”
“No one special in your life you want to be with?” Groves asked, a kind smile on his face.
“Not really,” you mumbled sadly, your eyes glanced over at Robert, “Not yet, anyway.”
“Maybe once all of this is over, you can pursue them,” Groves suggested knowingly, “We’re so close now. It won’t be long.”
You nodded, seeing that he knew who was on your mind just by how he studied you, “Maybe.”
After all the hard work and growing sexual tension over the tedious years at Los Alamos, the bubble separating you and Robert finally burst the morning of the Trinity Test. The test was a success, and Robert was basking in the afterglow. Everything from getting his hand shaken to being carried by the crowd of excited and ecstatic workers- it brought him some relief. There’s always sunshine before the rain. 
You invited Robert over to your quaint house on the outskirts of Los Alamos for your nightly glass of wine, but this time it was heavier. It was more meaningful because you finally accomplished what you’d been working so hard for. When Robert sat next to you on the chaise next to the fireplace, his leg touched yours. The sexual energy was like a thick, wet blanket. You took large gulps of your wine as Robert’s eyes stared into yours, his glass pressed to his lips with slower sips.
“I can’t believe it’s all over,” you shook your head.
“Me either.”
“What do we do now? What’s life after this going to be like?”
“I’m not sure about that,” Robert had set his wine down on the floor, “But I’m sure about something else.”
“And what’s that?” you asked, polishing off your drink.
“You.”
You slowly sat back up after putting your empty glass on the floor by your feet, “Me?”
“Yes,” Robert paused, “Ever since I met you, I’ve wanted you in ways I can’t explain. And I can usually explain anything.”
You chuckled at that, nodding in agreement, “That you can.”
Robert leaned in, and your smile faltered. His hand reached up to touch your cheek gently, his thumb pushing some of your hair out of the way. Your eyes fluttered shut as you waited with bated breath for Robert to finally, finally kiss you. It had been years of waiting now. And the second his lips pressed to yours, all that time seemed to drift away. There was an explosion in your chest at the feeling of Robert pressing against you on the chaise, pushing you down onto its cushions. His coat and tie have long since been discarded, so all you have to do is worry at the buttons of his shirt with your shaking fingers. Eventually, you get the shirt opened and off his slender frame as it hovered over you. Robert let his skillful tongue slip past your lips with ease, exploring every centimeter of your mouth. How you had longed for this moment.
“Need you, Robert,” you pulled away for air and sighed as his hands pushed up your legs and underneath your dress, “Always have.”
“I’m here, darling. I’m here now.”
Robert shoved the skirt of your dress over your hips and stomach, revealing your slowly soaking white and dainty underwear. He hummed in satisfaction when his finger circled the wet spot at your entrance, causing a moan to leave your lips.
“Eager, are we?” he teased, pulling down your underwear without hesitation.
“Yes,” you said bravely, “Now, nothing fancy tonight. We have plenty of time for other things, but for now, I need you inside me.”
“Alright then,” Robert chuckles, hastily unbuckling his slacks before pushing them far enough down his legs to be comfortable.
He glided his tip along your slickness, gathering all he could to push inside you with less friction. You whined at the contact, a wanton moan escaping you suddenly as he moved into you at a patient pace. But you were anything but patient, especially at this point. You pushed your hips, causing Robert to enter you further, to which he let out a delicious groan. His hands gripped your sides intensely, sure to leave bruises tomorrow. He buried his face in your neck, his teeth baring down into the skin as he felt you suck his cock in. 
“Wanted- needed this for so long,” Robert whispered in your ear as his tip finally brushed against your insides.
“God, me too,” you cried out when he slowly pulled back out and then slammed back into you, “Fuck.”
“Such a dirty mouth,” Robert tutted playfully, to which you flashed him a smile, moving your hips to wiggle him further inside you.
Robert had thrust himself into you again, this time a little faster than the last. He kept doing this until he had a steady rhythm, lifting your legs to put on his shoulders to get a better angle. You growled at the sensation of him hitting your cervix, and your hands scratched down his back. Robert picked up speed, almost making the chaise scoot on the floor. He was fucking you like mad, and you were taking every second of it like his cock was water and you were thirsting in the desert. In this situation, the figure of speech wasn’t too far from the truth. The feeling of him repeatedly steering into your stomach made you nearly squeal from pleasure. Robert presses your thighs to your shoulders, the undersides of them against his chest. You were a mess, moaning like a whore and gripping Robert as if you blinked hard enough, he’d disappear.
“Taking me like such a good girl,” Robert grunted, moving a hand to your cunt to swipe at your clit in time with his thrusts.
You tossed your head back, crying out at the sensation. No one had ever fucked you with such vigor and passion. You felt that growing bubble in your gut, expecting it to burst any second.
“Cum in me,” you demanded, “Need to feel you.”
Robert laughed breathlessly at you, “Are you sure?”
“Certain.”
And as if he weren’t going fast enough, he pulled out, flipped you over, and took you from behind even faster than before. Robert pushed your cheek into the chaise cushion, watching you as you side-eyed him with utmost pleasure. You could feel yourself clenching around him, your orgasm creeping up. Robert pushed your lower back down as far as it’d go, your stomach flush with the material of the chaise underneath you. Your ass being in the air caused Robert to hit a new spot inside you, sending you reeling and spilling over the edge. As your cunt suffocated his cock with its walls, Robert followed your release with his own. His hot cum filled you up with warmth, your hips still bouncing against him. Robert panted from behind you, slowly pulling himself out of your now-dripping pussy. 
You rolled back onto your back, now facing Robert, “That was… wow,” you exhaled.
“I concur,” Robert joked, sitting back and pulling you onto his lap.
You hummed in exhaustion, blissed out as you hung your head on his shoulder.
“Want to stay?” you asked tiredly, eyeing the now-spilled remainder of wine Robert had placed on the floor earlier. You’d worry about it tomorrow.
“I’d love to,” Robert muttered into your ear, kissing it before picking you up off his lap.
The rest of your night is spent watching Robert study you as you lay beside each other in bed. He took you in as if he was seeing you in a new perspective- and he was. Robert was as curious about you as he was about the world and how it worked. Except now, he had to worry about not destroying you like he had the world.
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familyabolisher · 8 months
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haphazard assortment of thoughts on the unwanted guest:
firstly, it really does have to be said—crazy good, probably my favourite of all the tlt short pieces, and i say that as someone who lost my mind over as yet unsent for like a week. excellent conceit and excellent execution, just a really gorgeous piece of writing. the play format of course reminds me of what abigail says to harrow in htn—that the river bubble is a ‘play [she’s] directing’—the inside of one’s head as a stage in which other actors can intervene & whereby mileage can be gotten out of Symbolism as immediately “real,” tangible presences that the kind of realist baggage that a more quotidian prose form would usher in would probably falter in accomplishing. it’s a lot!! i think even if i wasn’t already a tazmuir writing style defender (contra the insistence that she’s yknow homestuck fanfiction serial numbers filed off hack) then this would have had me floored anyway. 
the play format also works in the way that muir’s general dexterity in form and willingness to really make use of craft as a technical space where discourse can be generated always works—i’m talking about the ‘fanfictiony’ voice in gtn which manages to say something both about fanfiction and about the text itself, the use of the dramatis personae as a space where atmosphere can be established and plot points hinted towards (thus blurring the lines between what is and is not diegesis), the drastic shifts in style between different close thirds, the shifting from third- to second- to epistolary first-person, the use of poetry both diegetic and not (the noniad, the epigraph poems…), the mimicry of the ‘voice’ of the king james bible in the nona epilogue—she never stays in one place for too long and she never seems to stick to one central style or form, and it really works in her favour. insofar as tlt as a whole is a very ‘patchwork’ kind of work, building itself up from its big big index of references and intertexts and memes with hugely variant levels of ‘prestige’ or legitimacy attached to them, the ‘patchwork’ use of form really works in muir’s favour. however i am also fuming because i was right in the middle of writing a tlt fic which jumps into a play format two-thirds of the way through and now my idea doesn’t look ORIGINAL but ANYWAY—
& i really do need to flag my good friend vee’s mercy/augustine fic, which makes use of a similar conceit and pulls it off masterfully—i am deeply jealous of vee’s talent and i think the unwanted guest makes this piece (from 2021!) shine even more, if anything.
i am DYING to see where muir is going with the use of hamlet, of all things—dulcie quoting it to palamedes immediately catapulted my mind back to abigail’s reference to ‘that undiscovered country’ in htn. obviously muir likes to drop contemporary (or contemporarily canonical) references and turns of phrase all over the place, but the attention drawn to the quote as diegetically referential (“I like that. Is it from something?” / “Yes. It’s complicated.”) has me wondering about a) the survival of ‘pre-res’ literatures ~over the river and like WHY and b) what a thematic interlocking of tlt and hamlet can do, here…….real aveheads remember cytherea ophelia theory where i tried to use ophelia as a point of reference for teasing out some arguments about cytherea and death and aesthetics and white femininity and whatnot. all of which is to say i need to sit with this hamlet reading a lot more but i love it, i am so here for it.
of course ‘kissing or feeding, we can’t be sure’ calls to mind ‘how meat loves meat,’ alecto biting harrow’s mouth by way of a kiss…and the general thematic throughline of, you know, certain practices of love as practices of consumption, naberius later being figured as the ‘meat’ in question contains echoes of this eroticism which ofc guides the contours of the necromancer/cavalier dynamic, eroticism as a currency of power, we know all of this stuff because it’s all over the text but i am just thumbs-upping it from the sidelines
the coffins had me thinking of utena’s black rose arc, which is a fun link to make considering the equivalent moment in the main body of nona is also referencing utena, ie. with the ‘rules’ of the duel being that cam has to get the handkerchief out of ianthe’s pocket as kind of an equivalent to skewering the rose. i feel like the tlt/utena overlap is pretty self-explanatory but it’s just fun to see the fingerprints all over lol
i think a lot of this was treading old ground thematically (erotics of consumption, dog motifs, we’ve seen it already!) but i will say that i did Yell Out Loud over ‘who's she got dawdling behind her but that creature—tugging visibly at her leash like an overeager dog.’ reminded of the other memorable use of ‘leash’—’even the devil bent for god to put a leash around her neck’—and, of course, the endless parade of commonalities between gideon & alecto. anyway there’s not really anything in this line that we didn’t already know about gid as a character, thematically speaking, but i point it out because it inflicted +100 psychic damage when i read it. gideon as a ‘creature’ is particularly slimy, & sort of puts me in mind of ianthe's tendency to talk about what appears to us as 'butch masculinity' (as opposed to the more effete masculinity of augustine or even babs) with a notably derogatory slant (the 'hurtful threats of sexual violence' line comes to mind); i don't know that i have much to say about it here specifically but it's an interesting one that i think informs the kirianthe dynamic pretty heavily (especially when held up against, like, harrianthe ... ianthe has a kind of respect for whatever harrow's gay and stupid gender is Doing (at least insofar as she can mould it to her own desires; i'm thinking of the dios apate forcefemme scene lol) in ways that i don't think she has for kiriona? but this is v off-topic, lol).
i have never been especially taken by dulcie as a character but i think this may finally have forced me to fold and admit that she’s great. her haters!!! her agonies!!! camilla would have to cook!! the balance between levity and sincerity was really well-managed. & i love the double meaning of “unwanted guest” as both palamedes intruding on ianthe’s mind palace and naberius setting up shop inside of her.
i need a week to sit with where this idea of the consumed soul as being literally ‘digested’ such that it can begin to ‘inhabit,’ however immaterially, the host body, or like to alter the characteristics of the host body such that to carry out such a consumption is to kind of kill yourself as well, slots in with lolita theory. or like, i need alecto right now. i am however reminded of chew, a short story that muir wrote in 2013, which also plays with these ideas of sexual assault as a forcing of a part of yourself meaningfully ‘into’ another person, and cannibalism as the reenactment of such a process, figured in the story as kind of a reclamation or at least an assertion of permanence—“I was always going to be in the ground with him in me,” she said. “I just wanted to make sure, that’s all. I just wanted to make sure.”—which the unwanted guest seems to kind of, play with in reverse? i don’t know, but i’m interested—as ever—in where muir wants to take these ideas of rape and consumption and absorption that she’s got in her hands.
i keep returning to…i hesitate to say ‘parallels’ because i think that imposes a narrative onus that i’m not actually that convinced by, but these, like, commonalities between babs and gideon. gideon is played off against so many people (cristabel, loveday, alecto being the big ones) that it feels kind of inane to add another person to the pile, but like…they’re the two who get got in canaan house, they’re both ironically ‘false’ cavaliers and expressions of the ‘truest’ or most paradigmatic form that cavalierhood ‘can’/’should’ take, they both have unconventionally gendered names (‘babs’ is a shortened form of ‘barbara,’ it is a typically feminine name imo) and (by our standards) somewhat unconventional genders (gideon is butch, babs effete)—and of course the unwanted guest places a lot of emphasis on the coercive ‘making’ of cavalierhood (the reference to babs being ‘fixed’ were he to have a disability! ianthe’s glib ‘society really is to blame’ comment—ironic, obviously, but not wholly untrue) not dissimilar to the emphasis that gtn puts on cytherea moulding gideon into the state she comes to be in at the end. babs and gideon as the two possessed corpses in nona, obviously. two wildly diverse but ultimately converging trajectories! a dialectical tension between their fundamental ‘opposition’ (as by-the-book cavalier vs whatever gideon is doing) and their fundamental ‘sameness’ whereby the dialectic is resolved in their mutual deaths. also just, of course, continuing the throughline that muir has had going for a while now, of gender/gendering as a set of coercive enforcements loyal to a hegemonic structuring of the world.
that’s all i’ve got, i think. just. really good everyone say thank you tazmuir
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tenpintsof-sundrop · 7 days
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I am getting so sick of shift in culture where people are now using fanfiction related tags like a fucking Burger King ordering system instead of just writing their fic ideas themselves and building up their skills by writing bad self indulgent fics first in order to write better fics later?
Like I get so annoyed when I see people posting shit like "I desperately need a fic with (super specific song) about (character) 😭" or "why is it always smut? where are all the fluffy fics?"
Write it. Write it. WRITE IT!!!!!!
If there is a specific kind of fic you want to see, write it. Fanfiction won't just come to you on a magical cloud if you wish for it and hope really hard - unlike music from your favorite band and big budget Hollywood movies, fanfiction is one thing where you can literally do it yourself with any plot you want and any characters set in any universe.
'Oh but my writing sucks-' yes and every single talented writer that you love also started out sucking. Very badly. And some of them might still believe they suck because insecurities are a thing. But they are still brave enough to push through it and write the fics they imagine in their head and even post those fics for you to enjoy.
There is something to be said for requesting fics from your favourite writer or sharing ideas for people if you want other people to write them when you don't have the time to - but if you are someone who never tries to write and just sits around wishing for someone else to write fics catered to you, then you don't understand the point of fandom.
Write the fics you dream of. Do it now!!!
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nerdieforpedro · 2 months
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🦴
🍓
🥤
Please!
🦴 = a piece of media that inspires my writing?
Not really one set piece. More like music in general does. I often listen to lofi beats when writing or my writing playlist to set the mood of what I’m trying to write. Or it could be music I’m listening to in the car or waiting somewhere could lead to some bullet points that become a fic. 😆
🍓= what led me to write fanfic in the first place?
Going deep here aren’t you Em? 👀 lol I’ve enjoyed writing since I was little as an extension of my love of reading. First with poems and the anime fanfiction when I actually watch more anime. Now I read more manga and don’t write fanfiction about it. If one squints on A03 - I may have dabbled in Marvel characters and actors for a short time. 🫢 The took a long pause as life happened. Sometime last year as my mental health improved so did my love of writing and I hyper focused on Pedro Pascal so here we are. 🤣 I write more the better my mood is. Maybe a bit too much background 😵
🥤= recommend and author or fic you love
Ugh just one? Dammit. 😒 I shall not! I’ll do eight because there are no favorites! Only peeps we support! And I can’t really call any of them number one I enjoy them all too much. 🥰
1. @morallyinept Pretty much anything you read of Jett’s will be beautiful, sensual, take you to a far away place or have needing to remove clothing - possibly from reading the same fic. 😆 She covers a wide variety of Pedro characters and is a wealth of knowledge on them. She also is just really talented and sweet.
2. @maggiemayhemnj Sure Ms. Payday doesn’t have a long Masterlist but every fic on there is worth reading for her turns of phases, vivid descriptions and her love of both Joel and Ezra. 💕
3. @megamindsecretlair One of my fellow black writers who keeps readers thirsty and eager for more with her Sam, Bucky and Loki series (all of which I need to catch up on or finish 👀) and is a hilarious person as she is kind.
4. @soft-girl-musings Another fellow black writer who’s “Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps” 1920’s or 40’s (I’m not great with telling time obviously 🙄 ) has me wondering what’s going to happen next, what is going on in that club and where else am I going to see curly haired Marcello is going to pop up at. 🤣
5. @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin The Mistress of Agnst. Her masterlist is for those who aren’t afraid to explore the darker side and stories that may not have happy endings but you’ll still feel satisfied that to finished it. To feel another type of satisfaction, you’ll need to read her smut and seek your other completion there. ☺️ You’ll be thankful for both rides.
6. @pedroshotwifey A newer moot to me who has equal parts smut, agnst and dabs of darkness in there. What can I say? I like dark fics if they’re just right. Like I like my crime dramas and cop procederals. 🤣 She and I have a good time supporting each other and exchanging thots. Her “To The Flame” series has set the reader up for what may be a spectacular fall or maybe she’ll find her way out? Only she knows.
7. @magpiepills Ezra’s second wife (because @morallyinept is his first wife and I think @maggiemayhemnj is the paramour - because it sounds fancy) The amount of filthy things she’s had him do both with one arm and two is something everyone should read twice. I also especially enjoyed her fic “Aquarius” which a whore version of Javier Peña that spoke strongly to me. Or maybe parts of me, let’s not split hairs. 🤭
8. @angelofsmalldeath-codeine She’ll say she’s not a writer. BUT as all writers know, we don’t do very well if someone isn’t reading stuff we toss out into the ether. Hemmy is as supportive as they come, reblogging and offering many a thot as both the High Chancellor of the Horny Delegation and as a friend. ❤️ Plus she supports my very soft bois Dieter and Javi G. 😆 She I think was one of the main reasons I wrote more of “Weddings 101 with Dieter.” She asked me something along the lines of, “is there more to this? This is a very cool or unique premise.” As she well knows, just tell me I did something well and I’m happy as a pearl in a clam. 🤣
Fanfic author ask game
Thanks for the ask Em! Just know I pretty much write paragraphs because I gotta explain. 🤭 I’m Nerdie and I’m wordy. 😚 I had to make one bad joke. You have to be able to tell it’s me.
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beanzfandoms · 5 months
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୨⎯ "𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 & 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭" ⎯୧
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✎ Made: March 17th, 2024
🎙️Hello, I'm Beanz! I'm a writer with a busy brain! I daydream a lot, and I'll most likely write those daydreams into stories! All my fanfictions on this page are gender-neutral unless stated otherwise!
If you also like fanfiction unrelated to x reader, please consider checking out my other works on here too! I also post about my ocs and projects I'm working on! I'm hoping to start being more consistent, so stay tuned! 📻
🎷Also, I have a community server, where anyone and everyone can show off their works! Whether you are a writer, artist, or have any other creative hobbies, we welcome you to join!
Join server: Here!
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〣Upcoming Pieces〣
Nothing for Now...
〣Ongoing Pieces〣
The Stag and The Heron (Human! Alastor x Reader):
(Y/n), forced to be confined by societal standards, wishes for someone to understand them. Everywhere they look, it seems as though the people they once knew have abandoned them. It's not until they are introduced to a well-known radio host that they realize their true potential.
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What I like:
⤷Supernatural
⤷Genshin Impact
⤷Resident Evil
⤷Creepypasta
⤷Hazbin Hotel
⤷Baldur's Gate 3
Here's what I can do:
⤷Fluff & Angst
⤷Platonic & Romance
⤷Child Reader/Teen Reader
⤷Gender Neutral Reader/Female Reader
⤷Head cannons & Blurbs
Requests are open!(0/3)✅
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〣Genshin Masterlist〣
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〣Supernatural Masterlist〣
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❛Miscellaneous Oneshots❜
Chris McLean x Reader
“Get over yourself, McLean” - Chris McLean x reader: You and Chris used to be a thing, and despite the hurt he caused you; work is work. You aren't going to hide away just because of him.
Chris being a man baby head cannons
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
“Nice to meet you, Thomas” - Leatherface x Female! Reader: An AU where the Hewitt's are a normal family working in their worn down-town for a living. The reader's family moves in next store, wanting a new life for themselves and be friendly with the neighbors.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
Present Silence - Clockwork x Reader: Clockwork visits an old friend and is reminded of her past.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
The Comfort of a Partner - Leon Kennedy (Infinite Darkness) x Reader: Leon's partner subtly comforts him in the only way they know how.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
Humble Til Death - Ascended Astarion x Vampire! Reader: The war between vampires and humans has begun, and every duke and spawn a like look to the Vampire Ascendant to help in battle. As they discuss what needs to be transpired, a stranger outcasted by both sides joins the discussion with a humble approach, which catches Lord Ancunin's attention.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
Party For One - Vox x Idol! Reader: (Y/n) was once an overlord, dominating the music industry with their talent and the souls they captured along the way. Then Vox came into their life and stole their heart with his big dreams. Everything was great for the lovers at first, then Vox wanted to team up with other overlords for more power. Vox became obsessed over his work, and with also looking out for the other Vee's, (Y/n) begins to realize that maybe they were never part of Vox's plans. They decide that it is time to start again and leave Vox behind.
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❛Miscellaneous Series❜
The Stag & The Heron: Human! Alastor x Reader
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Prologue - (Y/n), forced to be confined by societal standards, wishes for someone to understand them. Everywhere they look, it seems as though the people they once knew have abandoned them. It's not until they are introduced to a well-known radio host that they realize their true potential. Chapter One - Alastor offers (Y/n) a job, and though they are hesitant, they accept.
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❛Y/n Meets Resident Evil❜
Chris Redfield: Himbo Friend Edition Jill Valentine: Wife Edition Albert Wesker: Dad- OH
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〣 If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask! My work is intended for entertainment purposes only. Please do not repost anything without my permission. Thank you! 〣
Last Updated: April 12th, 2024 ✎
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aquaburst3 · 3 months
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I read a post where OP listed off all of the reasons why they don't see Mallyuu being possible in canon and believes that Malleus would be in a politically arranged marriage to a powerful fae of high status. I strongly disagree with OP. Even as someone who isn't a huge Malleus stan or has their Yuu shipped with him.
Okay, sure. If we're looking at that possibility from a strictly dogmatic historical and realistic lense, then I agree that statement would be correct. But we're not talking about the possibility of a real life marriage for a crown prince here, but about a fictional one in a Disney game. In that case, I think it's possible. Because...
I don't think game has such a law actually put in place. The game never mentioned it. The closest thing are that stupid council, who could be overthrown or put in their place, and Lilia saying that "Malleus can't enter a marriage lightly" during the Ghost Marriage event. (Far as I'm aware, I've tuned out most of Book 7 since it's mostly just one stupidly long flashback.)
If such a law did exist and Malleus was in a canonical arranged marriage, wouldn't the game have brought it up by now? (Yana sucks at foreshadowing and laying down this shit, but come on! That's too much even for her. xD)
Yuu brings some things to the table. They are human. Malleus marrying them would help with diplomatic relations between the fae and the humans. With how isolated the fae are in that world, they kinda need it. They also survived several overblots and would've saved Malleus' life, which is worth something.
I'm pretty sure that his grandmother could pull a Sultan and just change the law if such a thing is in place. She's one of the most powerful fae in the world, so what she says goes. She could easily put that council in their place if she must.
Dragon eggs in canon can only be hatched by true love, either platonic or romantic. (Even if I think that whole thing is silly, but that's beside the point.) If Malleus was in an arranged loveless marriage, he would never be able to produce an heir like the council wants, even if he has an AFAB/cis female partner. If they want any kids from him and he marries an AFAB person/cis female, it must be someone he loves like Yuu. If he marries someone AMAB or cis male, then he can just adopt or use a surrogate.
If we bring mythology/folklore into this, it's even more possible. The fae criteria for marriage is focused more on how talented and attractive the human partner is, that's it. There are plenty of stories where fae "spirit away" normal human women and men away to marry fae royalty. I imagine the fae in TWST are similar.
As for the life span thing, I think either Malleus will pull an Edward and let Yuu age normally or have the human partner drink fae aging potion. (I went with the latter in my own writing in a general sense. Again, shipping my Yuu with Jamil.)
Even if he was in one, he would find a way out of it. One of the biggest tropes that the Disney brand stands for is "true love conquers all". While the form of that love changes, that idea remains the same. The game shattering that by making Malleus be doomed to be in a loveless arranged marriage forever would go against what the brand stands for, so it seems highly unlikely. The fact that the game is also tapping into the otome market makes it even less so.
So, yeah. While I don't think MallYuu will ever be canon, I think a union between them is quite possible. It's fanfiction. Do whatever you want.
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auttumnmai · 9 months
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I redesing Chloe
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So Like you know that I did some redesing for mlb, for fun yk.(here's the link if you're curious : +
I have always wanted to do Chloe, but I knew that she need it a lot of work for my part. Like, from all the years of watching the show I found myself really like "liking" Chloe. We all love a mean girl.
I going to do give some thoughts about her desing an d why I landed on this one and comment a little bit of her writting as character.
small note: When I do this redesings I always thought about them like 16-17 ish years old, it just when I think of what I would have done with the story is them being just a lil bit older.
Desing
So for Chloe I had a few key words to go off. It girls( from the 80´s,60´s and the early 2000´s),very femenine, a lil bit of preppy and french girl. it was really dificult to balance all of this because I wanted to gave it a really iconic look but at the same time very effortless becuase of "nepo baby". Also I used "french girl" becuase I thought "she's the daughter of the most famous fashion editor of French, she would be an it girl just for the nepotism" So she should have a really unique style that breaths nepotism .
Also some time it can be similar to Mari's because of something that I'm gonna' explain later.
I'd made a pinterest board as usual for this. + (the link).
also I made some really bad explorations on options,like really fast to cutr down options.
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For some reason gogo boots were like the shoe to go, like confier than a heel but it has a hell, also i despise flats shoes. Also I wanted to make her have like a supermodel fisique, becuase when I saw her mom I thought "it's like a fusion of Anna Wintour and Yolanda Hadid" so like yeah.
I also had to some skechtes of her face, not because I did not like her face,just becuase it did not translate as well to my style.
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As you can see I even found a face for Zoe(unintencional) that looks like angelina Jolie for some reason. At the end my references are the ones on the bottom.
now for the writting
If it's not clear I do really belive that Chloe was like mistreated, because one thing is that you wanted to make her an antagonist and the other thing is what they did to her. Like keep her as a bad guy but do it with respect to the character and the work that has been done the character.
some notes about her .
-A thing that I do not remember being used in the show, the similarities between Mari and Chloe. Like literally sometime they have the same delusion and do stuff like without thinking of the concequences. Like it's simple Chloe can be a reminder of what happens if you loose the tracks and idk becomes to self absorb. And Mari is for Chloe like what she saws a "weak".
-Also a very important thing, I'd belive that Chloe should have a really meaningfull reason to bully Mari. Like it does not excuse her behavior but give it more flavor. Remeber Style Queen and Audrey acknowledeges Marinette for her talent. This is the moment. So Mari should represent all the things that Chloe was teach by her Mom to be "weak", "unusefull" ,so when she sees her mom be nicer to someone "meah" than her own daughter, she gets mad.
So I do have more notes, but I would enter to the territory of fanfiction (iamalredythere?), also If there' s any mistake in the writting, (which I know that there's) please be patience, english is not my first language and I'm def not used to write this long, at least not anymore.
have a nice day or time!
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tenpintsofsundrop · 8 months
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Reader refused to sleep in her and Spencer’s apartment when he was arrested. She let their son and daughter sleep over at JJ’s house. She slept on the couch in Aaron’s office- when she slept. When they finally got him out they only made it to their SUV before they made up for lost time.
TLDR; Please don't just copy/paste the same requests and send them to a bunch of different fanfiction writers.
Okay so I don't really know how to go about saying this because I don't want to shame anyone or make them feel bad. Especially not people who have followed me for a long time and admire my writing.
When I first read this, I thought that it seemed oddly familiar to me.
So I tried looking in the Spencer x reader tags and I couldn't see the fic I had previously scrolled by.
So I copy/pasted this prompt into google, and I found a fic that I know was from a different author (because the one I scrolled by had a Spencer pfp and this one had a Steve Harrington pfp) that was from all the way back in 2021. And they had even answered a different request like one of the ones you copy/pasted to me.
Also: I don't have the links to those exact fics because I was just randomly scrolling through the mobile browser tumblr on my phone (and like I said, one of them I couldn't find but I know I saw it the other day) - but if you have seen those fics or know those writers, please go show their fics some love! I bet they worked hard on those requests and they deserve a lot of love for their fics.
I haven't stated this anywhere in my request rules, because I never felt the need to, but there is a certain etiquette around sending requests to fanfiction writers. And because I am old school fandom, I thought that I would never have to outright explain that kind of etiquette. Stuff like: a request is a request, not an order. Don't hound an author to get your requests finished. A request is more like a collaboration on an idea than it is a command to action.
And I think one of the etiquette bits around sending requests is that you shouldn't send the same exact requests word for word to a bunch of different fanfiction writers because it seems rude.
When you send someone a req, it's because you're saying "hey, I really like your writing! I like your style, the way you write these characters. I have an idea in my head for this fandom and because I admire your talent, I think that you could do it best." It's like going to a bakery because you think that they have the best chocolate chip cookies. A lot of places make chocolate chip cookies, but that one bakery makes them in a way that you think is the best.
Sending the exact same copy/pasted request to multiple writers sends multiple covert messages.
1) The person who did it the first time didn't do it up to your standards.
I have had requests filled before. It's rare that I request fanfiction, but when I have and someone has answered it, it has made me feel insanely special. And I treasure those fics (unfortunately a lot of the ones I reqd are on dead platforms now) and I go back and reread them over and over again.
So when you send a request to someone and they actually take the time to write out a whole fic answering it, and then you copy/paste that exact same request to another fanfic author - you are basically saying that the first person (in this case, at least two people with ^^^ this prompt) didn't do it correctly. That their fanfiction for your request wasn't up to your standards and you need to see it done again by someone else in a different way.
If that wasn't the case, you would simply treasure the original fanfiction that answered the request, reread it over and over again, and then go back to that original author with more different requests when they have their reqs open.
2) You are saying that you are too impatient to wait for your request to be finished.
I have seen times where someone copy/pastes the same request in different authors inboxes within the same week, basically just seeing who will finish the fanfiction first. Which is ... very annoying. If you enjoy an author's work and respect their time, then you will wait patiently for them to finish writing your request.
For me personally - I don't finish all requests. Which brings me to my third point.
3) Write it yourself.
If you are so passionate about this idea that you feel the need to see it written by different fanfiction authors multiple times, then please, write it yourself. All the details will be satisfying and exactly as you imagined them in your head.
There has been multiple times in my life when I have had a good idea for a fic and I have been so tired, and I considered taking that idea to another writer's inbox, but I knew that they wouldn't write it exactly as it was in my head - because HELLO - we are all individual artists with our own unique visions. So I just wrote it myself and wrote all the details as I imagined them and I was so much happier.
And that's how I grew my talent as a fic writer. By practicing writing my own ideas instead of just waiting for someone else to feed me the fanfiction I want. And now, whenever I want a hyper specific fanfiction that is not in the tags - I just write it.
But like PLEASE understand that fanfiction writers are not "content creators". We are not some big corporations like Netflix that has so much time and energy to pour into making this stuff - we are human. And it hurts to see you just feeding the exact same ideas to everyone else, because it means you don't value our work as individuals.
(Idk what I'm gonna do with the rest of the stuff in my inbox that you obviously sent. One of them really appealed me so idk.)
Anyway - Sundrop out ☀️💧
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saintchaser · 11 months
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good morning! today i want to talk about james potter.
(note: this is solely based on my interpretation of him, thr very same way other writers write james in their own way. this is the essay on how i see him, as a person, a writer, and someone who relates to him, and i am not implying that my characterization is better than someone else's; just my five cents on this!)
we're all aware of the general fandom consensus and characterization for him; sunshine boy, always willing to help everyone around him, never has any sort of problems and is often see through the prism of his relationships.
to start off with my last point, with him being seen and characterized through his relationships, i think it is tied to the fact that he, himself, sees himself that way. the relationships that he has with characters are often strong and intense, either like or dislike, and therefore, said relationships take a toll on him. he always surrounds himself with people, in order to not be alone with his thoughts, and have the time to see deep within him not what the world sees him to be, but what he really is, as imperfect as everyone else.
i also consider james to be the kind of person who runs away from his problems, and this is one of the fundamental differences that he and sirius have (while sirius confronts his problems — and the fact that he ran away from home is not running away from his problems, but actively confronting them. he ran away from home, his home life being a problem, which is exactly confronting it — meanwhile, james never confronts his problems because he's scared of the feelings that might be triggered in him in that case, he's scared of how deeply he feels things, and therefore he like busies himself with other people's feelings and other people's problems in order to not work on his own.).
this also plays into euphemia and fleamont's funeral. james was more focused on comforting the people around him about the death of his parents and not sitting down and thinking on his parents' death and allowing himself to grieve, because he was scared of the impact that it might have on him. (he had a son, and he had to be strong for him; which is also the tying himself to his relationship and putting other people above himself, his feelings, and his needs). after he did sit down on his problems, he started taking more missions and becoming more rash and being more reckless in general as a coping mechanism, which, in turn, hurt him.
moreover, him running away from his problems and helping other people instead of himself often times leaves him seeking something else in order to protect himself and to make himself forget everything he's thinking about; in some cases it may be quidditch, music, pranks, and, sometimes, more dsngerous things. he's a man of stability, in this regards, so therefore i don't thìnk he would do something as dangerous as to put the lives of himself and others in danger. (we see this with the prank; sirius is the one who takes rash decisions, james is the one who puts everything back together.).
james also suffers from savior complex. the criteria and definition for it is as follows "they only feel good about themselves when helping someone, believe helping others is their purpose, spend so much energy trying to fix others that they end up burning out", and "a savior complex, or white knight syndrome, describes this need to “save” people by fixing their problems". i see this more often than not played in jegulus fanfiction, but this behavior of his expands to other characters, too.
last but not least, and this is something i only see being talked about with sirius, respectively regulus, is the pressure put on one's shoulders to perform well when part of a circle of upper-class and talented people. his father invented multiple potions which significantly helped and improved the everyday lives of the wizarding world (i.e.: pepper-up). whether this pressure is put on by parents or yourself, the need to achieve as much as your parents did can both mess up the aspiring young person and burn them out. despite james being naturally talented, much like his parents, i feel like james definitely related to this pressure to perform.
so, in order to sum up; i believe that james potter, too, is a deeply complex and flawed individual, the very same way we believe of other characters to be. being a good person with a warm heart does not mean that one is always happy and that they are inherently a morally white character.
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maybebabyplease · 1 year
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on ‘professional jealousy’ in your not-so-professional hobbies
really great essay here about professional jealousy, something i think about a lot with my fiction writing. most of my real-life fiction writing friends are older and more talented and more published than me, and sometimes it really stings to see them succeed in a way that i want to succeed, even when i know they deserve it and want to spend all my energy being happy for them. this feeling can bleed into your friendships and relationships, but i think it’s something everyone experiences. and thus, we ought to talk about it! 
in fanfic, as in original fiction, you’re putting a piece of yourself out into the world to be judged (conversations on the validity of fanfic criticism/rating/ranking aside, the reality is that people will continue to do it either way) and the reactions to your work are likely to be different than the reactions to your friends’ and peers’ work. the subject of ‘professional jealousy’, or as the essay deems it, disappointment, applies here just as much as it does to original fiction.
i find that i see a lot of posts about fanfic that imply that it’s somehow ‘bad’ to care about the success of your fic, defining success as the number of hits or kudos or comments or whatever digit puts you ahead of someone else. certainly, there are many reasons to write fanfiction. but i consider it to be a little disingenuous to act like no one cares (or is allowed to care) about whether or not people read their fic. 
to me, storytelling is at its core a search for human connection. fanfiction seeks this same thing, this connection with readers and other writers, and perhaps with more intensity. we are obsessed with these characters, and these stories, and these tropes. we want to find other people who share our obsessions. we want to connect. i think this is clear in the tags people continually search on ao3, in the ask boxes of tumblr users who like to discuss headcanons and hot takes, on the works pages of writers who create for their one favorite ship over and over again. it’s a really gorgeous thing, the way we all love what we do, and the way we love it together.
it’s natural to want to connect over your stories. you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn’t get a little thrill at that email notification from ao3, letting you know that someone laughed or cried or screamed over something you created. it’s normal to appreciate this feeling and it’s normal to want more of it. i do personally find that the best and most satisfying fanfiction is the fic you write for yourself, but i have also found great joy in the two or three comments on the fics i thought no one would read, because it’s so special to find people who enjoy the specific things you enjoy. i’m not necessarily unhappy with lesser-read fics of mine; i love them all equally and i’m proud of each one. but i can’t sit here and say that i wouldn’t be thrilled if more people found them and loved them and left comments about a particular trope i love or a joke i thought i was so funny for writing. humans are an inherently social species, and those moments of connection are valuable even when you’re doing something just for yourself.
you can write for yourself and still want people to read it. you can write for yourself and still be disappointed when your fic doesn’t do as well as someone else’s, or even as well as one of your own previous fics. you can be happy with what you’ve written, and still wish it was as ‘popular’ as another fic you love. i think we need to create space for this particular disappointment, because people will continue to feel this way about their work. and i’m not saying we all ought to go screaming about it on our blogs, as that seems to lead to people tearing down other more popular works, which is not the intention of opening this discussion.
the essay suggests having a friend with whom you can express disappointment and know you’ll get an appropriate reaction. luckily, fanfiction has (at least in my experience) led to an incredible community of kind, empathetic people who likely share your exact interests. so this advice works perfectly in the land of fic. perhaps you have a friend who writes for a different ship than you, or even a different fandom altogether. perhaps you have a friend who writes the exact same types of stories of you, but who particularly understands the way you feel. or, perhaps you have a friend who doesn’t read fic at all who can be a totally unbiased sounding board. 
no matter what, don’t be afraid to share your disappointment! it’s not something that has to be shameful. you can write fanfic for all the ‘right’ reasons and still get disappointed. you’re only human.
(i’d love to have conversations about this -- i know lots of people that i like and respect have different opinions about ‘success’ in the world of fanfic and comparing yourself to ‘more popular’ writers and the tiktokification of fic, which i do feel like relates here but did not want to get into. hit the comments on this post or my dms or whatever! i love to DISCUSS!) (essay linked again here for viz)
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omnybus · 2 years
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So, a while back, I wrote about how I really appreciate my watchers and commission clients for being so respectful to me, and how I've never dealt with an especially unpleasant client before.
Well, seems I jinxed myself!
The other day I was messaged by someone who asked if I wanted to take part in an unpaid collaborative art project. Normally I would turn down unpaid work, but I figured I might as well hear out what his project was and maybe give it a shout-out to others (I'm too polite; that's my problem). So he sends me a PDF detailing the project in question.
Basically he wanted to make a series of MLP comics starring his OCs along with 20-30 second animations to introduce each one. He also listed several jobs for the members of this project to fulfill: sketching, inking, coloring, cover art, lettering, scriptwriting, character design, prop design, 2D animators, 3D animators... even a "scientist" to help explain the workings of magic and tech in this series as well as "roleplayers" to help with writing character interactions. Like 30+ jobs in total.
While he did give a brief summery of the setting (sci-fi fantasy set 1000 years in the future) and stated there was no set time limit, at no point did he say what the plot of these stories are, how long these comics are supposed to be, how many there were going to be, or really any kind of framework to build off of. Hell, he didn't even name his OCs, let alone provide reference pics. The only thing he offered was the "privilege" of "showcase your own OCs" (which I can already do in my own gallery), "improving your art skills" (which I do literally every time I draw), and the opportunity to "help someone achieve their dream" (no comment).
Overall, everything about this project was incredibly vague and nondescript, and was essentially all going to be made up on the fly every step of the way. I even asked if he had a way to communicate with the other members of this project and all he said was "I have my ways of communicating". Like... why not just tell me? I felt like someone was trying to indoctrinate me into a cult, but they forgot that cult leaders are supposed to be charismatic. It seemed that all he had to offer were a bunch of lofty but nebulous ideas, and this clown was expecting a bunch of people to waste their time and talents helping him write self-insert fanfiction for his OCs and waifus.
But the most audacious part of the whole thing was that included in the PDF was a link to another PDF that was essentially a list of reasons for turning him down, and his explanations on why he won't accept them. They're listed below the cut:
“I’m too Busy, So I have no time to do this.” Reason.
As I’ve explain that Time isn’t an Issue for there is no time limit in my Project.
“I only do Commission’s because I really needed money to pay my Bills and Foods.” Reason.
I’m guessing that you don’t get out much then, surely there’s a Job vacancies around your places somewhere.
“I don’t do Freebies for stranger’s, only Friend’s” Reason.
That’s good rhem because I asked for a Collaboration, NOT a Request nor a Commission for that matter.
“I only draw what I want, I don’t do others and I’m not accepting Commission's either.” Reason.
Then I don’t see what’s the reason or why you posted your Artworks online then for everyone to see, unless of course, you want people to be jealous of you.
“What you just stated IS a Free Project, I’m not wasting my times and patiences for a Project who knows how long that will not help me Pay my Bills.” Reason.
…………, So what’s the problem then?; Please re-read my explanation to know what I mean.
“I appreciate you’ll willing to invite me for such a Big Project but I don’t think my Skills in Artwork’s is impressive enough.” Reason.
If your Artwork’s isn’t impressive enough for me then please tell me these 2 things:
why do you think I invite you to join my Project then?
if you’re that low on confidences about your Artworks, why bother posting it online for everyone to see?
“I just don’t want.” Reason.
Explain specifically and in details why not? please
Which one is your Reason or do you have any other “Reasons” that I miss or don’t know about?
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star-girl69 · 4 months
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i am literally OBSESSED with your writing but “I can fight too. Not as good as you, but I can. I-I don’t want to be weak, I don’t want to rely on your for everything, it’s- it’s embarrassing.” made me physically react. like that one meme holding you by the shoulder as you bleed from the pressure of my nails while staring into my soulless eyes type of spiritual reaction because i feel like not enough people talk about the absolute STRAYS that aphrodite and her kids catch daily.
like can you imagine being surrounded by all of these talented demigods who all inherited ‘useful’ skills from their parents like inhuman intelligence and exceptional archery skills and knowing that everyone looks down on you because you’re seen as weaker for being the child of the vain goddess of beauty. the other campers dont even try to hide it which make it so much worse 💀 like everyone openly thinks that you and your siblings are weaker and self obsessed because of your mother when she literally was a leading figure in the trojan war.
aphrodite cabin is better than me because one comment and i’d set someone on fire i’m not going to lie. they are stronger than i.
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the meme in question
THE MEME IM GIGGLING
first of all thank you so much omg
THATS WHY I LOVE WRITING APHRODITE READER BC THERE IS A WHOLE UNTAPPED VAULT OF ANGST TO EXPLORE
i got at it a little more in i can see you and just like aphrodite kids!!!!! i love them!!!!! and they hurt me!!!!!they hurt me bc like you said can YOU IMAGINE????? it must be so devastating to know that you have all this potential to be a good fighter to be useful and all that but it’s 10 TIMES HARDER and it’s NOT EVEN YOUR FAULT
i can see you was so important to me on a level just beyond clarisse fanfiction bc it was showing not only is love more powerful and everyone has to get their heads out of their asses
(didn’t percy say once he was more scared of aphrodite than any other god or goddess??????)
but it also showed that you don’t necessarily need to be traditionally strong or a good fighter to survive as a demigod and i think that’s kind of what people think.
“every camper has to participate in capture the flag” I HATE IT I DO
THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO BE USEFUL MY POOR APHRODITE BABIES I PROMISE
the stigmas and the stereotypes the aphrodite kids have to deal with are like so important to me and they need to be acknowledged more and i am HAPPY to be a service 🫡
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Mental Health Ramblings
Talked about my, er, unbalanced relationship with writing today in therapy. Got a lot off my chest I didn't know was sitting there.
I need to stop looking for meaning in my fanfiction writing lol. I AM a "writer", and I've not done a great job of incorporating that into my career or even hobbies or anywhere outside the very narrow scope of fanfiction and blogging on social media. I can look for it elsewhere, where it makes sense to look for it if I care that much. I also don't have to find meaning in it at all. That's probably a holdover from my pentecostal/judeo-christian/evangelical upbringing that needs further deconstructing.
Perfectionism has killed most of my writing projects since my early 20's. I can't accept the first draft of anything and in the revision process I burn out and experience compounded shame.
I can't accept that I am mediocre (gifted xtian white AFAB child first in college student council president never constructively criticized in adolescence etc etc), so everything has to be revised to make it appear as exceptional as I'm capable of making it. Even if that means piggy backing off someone else's talent (i.e commissioning art for fics).
I think I have something to prove because of how poorly my college experience went.
All these things get in the way of writing being neutral, fun, positive, or a good thing for me. It makes writing harmful to my mental well being to an unacceptable extent.
SO the game plan is thought-interruption. First I have to learn to identify when perfectionism has begun to creep in. That's going to take work. When I've got that down better, I can begin to respond to the thoughts in a way that interrupts them.
The old formula has been:
Brain: This is awful. That means you're awful.
Me: Yup. I am worthless, this is worthless, it's not just not good it's actively reducing the value of all writings everywhere as a whole. I am a stain on humanity. I am a burden-
Then the writing is interrupted, time passes, shame accumulates, yadda yadda and I have to wait for the next manic high to try and recapture the project, and usually for only as long as the high lasts.
So now, the script is:
Brain: This is awful. That means you're awful.
Me: That's ridiculous. Moving along.
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I don't know if anyone can relate to that or not. I feel good about how I'm going to address it. Love my therapist.
To be very clear, I know some of that sounds a little harsh. I've been in therapy a long time, and I spent years (almost 9) coddling myself and being coddled in sessions. None of these listed conclusions came from my therapist. She does a lot of sitting and listening, and correcting when I become self loathing or I'm just plain on the wrong track. Maybe you want to argue with me labeling myself mediocre or say something to the contrary to emotionally comfort me, maybe not. My journey with that has been a lifetime, and no matter what, I'm currently striving for peace of mind. No matter how good the exceptional label feels, it hasn't ever brought me much peace of mind. So it's not a debate about my level of skill (because again I'm trying to NOT look for meaning or self value in fanfiction) and if I'm being too hard on myself (I probably am, my brain is still addicted to the idea that someone/thing MUST be OR ELSE). It's about my inability to accept myself as I am.
The conversation about how to take writing to other parts of my life isn't one I know how to have yet. I feel like a student without a teacher. I don't know what to do. Fiction isn't where I naturally excel. I probably need a lot more education. See? See where this goes?
That's all.
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en-mode-autopilote · 4 months
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15 questions + 15 friends
tagged by the lovely @crossbackpoke-check <3 thank uuu!
1. Are you named after anyone?
in vietnamese, i have a part of my biological mother's name which is 'lan' (orchid). my name in vietnamese is 'huong lan' (orchid's perfume). as for alexandra, that's just because my mom's family didn't want liliane because her sister had just passed away. so she chose alexandra for absolutely no reason. i could've been named liliane tho
2. When was the last time you cried?
i really rarely cry. i can't even remember.
3. Do you have kids?
nope
4. What sports do you play/have played?
i did a lot of swimming, i walk a lot. the PE teacher of my students actually invited me to his classes since i went swimming back with my students this autumn! so i will try to get back on and do it at least once a week if i'm not busy.
5. Do you use sarcasm?
i have to sometimes with my students but i SUCK at it fhdsjkfhlsdjfsd
6. What is the first thing you notice about someone?
their smile/overall vibes
7. What’s your eye color?
a very deep brown
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
scary movies! (i'm not a psycho i swear)
9. Any talents?
i have many calligraphies/handwritings styles and i never stick with on ONE in particular. i love using them at different times or mood. & idk i love thinking that i'm good with photoshop
10. Where were you born?
in vietnam, exact location unknown
11. What are your hobbies?
i love writing! also drawing on my ipad, practicing my calligraphy. and doing some photoshop edits.
12. Do you have any pets?
unfortunately, no.
13. How tall are you?
tbh i honestly don't know. i think that i'm like 5"5 or 5"4
14. Favorite subject in school?
history and geography.
15. Dream job?
i honestly don't think that i have a dream job anymore. simply because i have a personality that needs to be constantly stimulate. i love being a teacher for that reason; it's never the same day over and over, never the same class or the same period even! and to balance that i love being able to write fanfiction online & to make some edits for u or myself. so i don't have a dream job, i like to think that it IS my dream job rn.
tagging @hellshee @goodsticklehky @gordiemeow & basically anyone who sees this and wants to do it as well <3
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