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#j robert oppenheimer x y/n
floralcyanidee · 8 months
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ɪ sᴇᴇ ғɪʀᴇ - ᴊ. ʀᴏʙᴇʀᴛ ᴏᴘᴘᴇɴʜᴇɪᴍᴇʀ
Cillian!Oppenheimer x AFAB!Reader (NSFW)
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request: scientist reader and Oppenheimer have sm sexual tension between them and trying to hide their feelings for each other cause they're colleagues but then when the Manhattan Project comes up and they both work on it together it just gets too much to handle. by @aporiasposts
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disclaimer: this is a work of fanfiction. cillian's representation of oppenheimer is also fictional to a degree. if you dislike this kind of fanfiction, please keep scrolling and do not interact with this post. otherwise, have a lovely day. ♥
warnings: smut, penetrative sex, p in v sex, unprotected sex, multiple positions used, mutual pining, years of sexual tension
word count: 2090
author’s note: please read the disclaimer several times if you must before you decide to comment something snarky or send a dense anonymous ask. (: this is my first time writing smut for Robert so it was interesting!! I rather enjoyed it and I think I'm going to finish the other smut I was going to write for him. also, I changed the request details a little. reader is a historian/ political scientist of sorts instead of a scientist. I feel like there is a lot of scientist!reader fics out there and wanted to be a little different haha. I hope everyone enjoys!
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Having a doctorate in history has led you to places you never thought possible. One of those places ended up being the University of California - Berkeley. You were given the opportunity to lecture there with some of the brightest minds in the country- one of them being physicist Dr. J. Robert Oppenheimer. Your disciplines differed but had the same solid foundation of facts, evidence, and logic. Needing to see things to believe it for yourself was one thing the two of you had in common, which brought you together. You were interested in his lectures and as he was yours. Both of you have learned a lot from each other and have become good friends. However, there were times when you would interact, and it felt intense. You’d grade papers together in comfortable silence, sometimes stealing glances at one another. Whenever you caught Robert staring, you’d give him a small, knowing smile. When he caught you staring, he’d hold your gaze, which made you nervous. 
You enjoyed attending Robert’s political discussions after class to see how passionate he was about current issues. Dr. Lawrence, your other beloved colleague, often warned you to avoid them, but you ignored him. The energy you’d feel toward Robert every time he’d rant about how every person deserves the freedom and the right to choose was electric. It was the very basis of your beliefs as a historian and a professor. The two of you would often go for a cigarette in the courtyard between classes to enjoy the fresh air and discuss politics. Robert loved hearing your stance on things, especially since you knew your stuff about the history of politics and how things work with them. The tensions were high that day, and before you knew it, Robert leaned into you as you spoke. But before anything could happen, it was time for classes to resume. So you went your respective ways. 
When you were contacted by the government to assist on a top-secret project, you were shocked. They needed your expertise in politics and history, as well as your reading and writing skills. You asked if Robert would be involved due to his talent in psychics, but you got no answer. You didn’t take long to learn of Dr. Lawrence’s involvement in the project, and you were ecstatic to have someone you knew tagging along. He was worried about Robert not being present for the Manhattan Project simply because of his mutual and close friends being communists. You insisted you’d speak to Robert about the matter, but Ernest objected. However, after a meeting about the Spanish Revolution that Robert had held, Ernest blew up on him. He mentioned there was a project and that Robert wasn’t allowed on it as long as he was sticking his nose in communist politics. So, Robert stopped the meetings, and sure enough, General Leslie Groves eventually poked his way into Robert’s office one afternoon to discuss the Project. 
Now, the three of you were involved and had to leave Berkeley. Robert quickly assumed the position of Project leader and already had a location picked out for the Project headquarters. You had heard many stories of this location from him and demanded he take you to it before construction began. You and Robert left Berkeley and traveled to Los Alamos via horse, talking and laughing the whole time about your childhoods and times in school. You both decided to camp there overnight and enjoy the desert and its beautiful sky before dealing with the most significant project in human history. As you sat by the fire that night with Robert, you stared at the sky in wonder. Robert watched you with just as much wonder, enjoying seeing you smile. Because pretty soon, there wouldn’t be much to smile about.
By the time you had moved into Los Alamos and started getting to work, the tension between you and Robert was becoming impalpable. The camping trip solidified whatever was going on between you two- even if it was nothing at all as of right now. Robert ensured you were at every meeting so you could give your two cents if it was needed; you were the brains and the empathy of the project. Gen. Groves admired you for it because no matter how steep the project was getting, you never once panicked or got in over your head. He also admired how you managed to keep your hands off Robert despite how you looked at him. And one day, he mentioned it to you.
“What’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get out of here?” Gen. Groves asked you one day during a field test.
“Oh, uh,” you hadn’t given it much thought, “I’m not sure. Probably continue lecturing.”
“No one special in your life you want to be with?” Groves asked, a kind smile on his face.
“Not really,” you mumbled sadly, your eyes glanced over at Robert, “Not yet, anyway.”
“Maybe once all of this is over, you can pursue them,” Groves suggested knowingly, “We’re so close now. It won’t be long.”
You nodded, seeing that he knew who was on your mind just by how he studied you, “Maybe.”
After all the hard work and growing sexual tension over the tedious years at Los Alamos, the bubble separating you and Robert finally burst the morning of the Trinity Test. The test was a success, and Robert was basking in the afterglow. Everything from getting his hand shaken to being carried by the crowd of excited and ecstatic workers- it brought him some relief. There’s always sunshine before the rain. 
You invited Robert over to your quaint house on the outskirts of Los Alamos for your nightly glass of wine, but this time it was heavier. It was more meaningful because you finally accomplished what you’d been working so hard for. When Robert sat next to you on the chaise next to the fireplace, his leg touched yours. The sexual energy was like a thick, wet blanket. You took large gulps of your wine as Robert’s eyes stared into yours, his glass pressed to his lips with slower sips.
“I can’t believe it’s all over,” you shook your head.
“Me either.”
“What do we do now? What’s life after this going to be like?”
“I’m not sure about that,” Robert had set his wine down on the floor, “But I’m sure about something else.”
“And what’s that?” you asked, polishing off your drink.
“You.”
You slowly sat back up after putting your empty glass on the floor by your feet, “Me?”
“Yes,” Robert paused, “Ever since I met you, I’ve wanted you in ways I can’t explain. And I can usually explain anything.”
You chuckled at that, nodding in agreement, “That you can.”
Robert leaned in, and your smile faltered. His hand reached up to touch your cheek gently, his thumb pushing some of your hair out of the way. Your eyes fluttered shut as you waited with bated breath for Robert to finally, finally kiss you. It had been years of waiting now. And the second his lips pressed to yours, all that time seemed to drift away. There was an explosion in your chest at the feeling of Robert pressing against you on the chaise, pushing you down onto its cushions. His coat and tie have long since been discarded, so all you have to do is worry at the buttons of his shirt with your shaking fingers. Eventually, you get the shirt opened and off his slender frame as it hovered over you. Robert let his skillful tongue slip past your lips with ease, exploring every centimeter of your mouth. How you had longed for this moment.
“Need you, Robert,” you pulled away for air and sighed as his hands pushed up your legs and underneath your dress, “Always have.”
“I’m here, darling. I’m here now.”
Robert shoved the skirt of your dress over your hips and stomach, revealing your slowly soaking white and dainty underwear. He hummed in satisfaction when his finger circled the wet spot at your entrance, causing a moan to leave your lips.
“Eager, are we?” he teased, pulling down your underwear without hesitation.
“Yes,” you said bravely, “Now, nothing fancy tonight. We have plenty of time for other things, but for now, I need you inside me.”
“Alright then,” Robert chuckles, hastily unbuckling his slacks before pushing them far enough down his legs to be comfortable.
He glided his tip along your slickness, gathering all he could to push inside you with less friction. You whined at the contact, a wanton moan escaping you suddenly as he moved into you at a patient pace. But you were anything but patient, especially at this point. You pushed your hips, causing Robert to enter you further, to which he let out a delicious groan. His hands gripped your sides intensely, sure to leave bruises tomorrow. He buried his face in your neck, his teeth baring down into the skin as he felt you suck his cock in. 
“Wanted- needed this for so long,” Robert whispered in your ear as his tip finally brushed against your insides.
“God, me too,” you cried out when he slowly pulled back out and then slammed back into you, “Fuck.”
“Such a dirty mouth,” Robert tutted playfully, to which you flashed him a smile, moving your hips to wiggle him further inside you.
Robert had thrust himself into you again, this time a little faster than the last. He kept doing this until he had a steady rhythm, lifting your legs to put on his shoulders to get a better angle. You growled at the sensation of him hitting your cervix, and your hands scratched down his back. Robert picked up speed, almost making the chaise scoot on the floor. He was fucking you like mad, and you were taking every second of it like his cock was water and you were thirsting in the desert. In this situation, the figure of speech wasn’t too far from the truth. The feeling of him repeatedly steering into your stomach made you nearly squeal from pleasure. Robert presses your thighs to your shoulders, the undersides of them against his chest. You were a mess, moaning like a whore and gripping Robert as if you blinked hard enough, he’d disappear.
“Taking me like such a good girl,” Robert grunted, moving a hand to your cunt to swipe at your clit in time with his thrusts.
You tossed your head back, crying out at the sensation. No one had ever fucked you with such vigor and passion. You felt that growing bubble in your gut, expecting it to burst any second.
“Cum in me,” you demanded, “Need to feel you.”
Robert laughed breathlessly at you, “Are you sure?”
“Certain.”
And as if he weren’t going fast enough, he pulled out, flipped you over, and took you from behind even faster than before. Robert pushed your cheek into the chaise cushion, watching you as you side-eyed him with utmost pleasure. You could feel yourself clenching around him, your orgasm creeping up. Robert pushed your lower back down as far as it’d go, your stomach flush with the material of the chaise underneath you. Your ass being in the air caused Robert to hit a new spot inside you, sending you reeling and spilling over the edge. As your cunt suffocated his cock with its walls, Robert followed your release with his own. His hot cum filled you up with warmth, your hips still bouncing against him. Robert panted from behind you, slowly pulling himself out of your now-dripping pussy. 
You rolled back onto your back, now facing Robert, “That was… wow,” you exhaled.
“I concur,” Robert joked, sitting back and pulling you onto his lap.
You hummed in exhaustion, blissed out as you hung your head on his shoulder.
“Want to stay?” you asked tiredly, eyeing the now-spilled remainder of wine Robert had placed on the floor earlier. You’d worry about it tomorrow.
“I’d love to,” Robert muttered into your ear, kissing it before picking you up off his lap.
The rest of your night is spent watching Robert study you as you lay beside each other in bed. He took you in as if he was seeing you in a new perspective- and he was. Robert was as curious about you as he was about the world and how it worked. Except now, he had to worry about not destroying you like he had the world.
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floralcyanide · 8 months
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𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 - 𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧!𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫
cillian!oppenheimer x gn!reader
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disclaimer: this is a work of fanfiction. cillian's representation of oppenheimer is also fictional to a degree. if you dislike this kind of fanfiction, please keep scrolling and do not interact with this post. otherwise, have a lovely day. ♥
warnings: depression, lack of communication.
word count: 996
author’s note: please read the disclaimer several times if you must before you decide to comment something snarky or send a dense anonymous ask. (: anyway, I wrote this the other day at work after seeing the movie again. I hope everyone who does read this enjoys it.
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Despite the face Robert put on for his acquaintances and the world, he was terribly depressed and disturbed about what he created.
He hasn’t eaten much since the bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and sleep has been hard for him to come by. Robert won’t so much as look at you anymore. You understand where he’s coming from, and try to be patient. But it’s hard with him coming home every day and not saying a single word to you. Even harder when you’re packing your things to move away from Los Alamos without conversation. The day you move into the new house, you finally reach your breaking point.
You’re wiping the glasses out with a towel before placing them gently into the cupboard, humming a tune. Robert is unpacking your China dishes, and his hand slips, causing him to drop one accidentally. You stop humming. Your body visibly tenses at the sound of the delicate ceramic ware shattering on the floor. Robert freezes and bends down to pick up the pieces.
You close your eyes, exhaling slowly to release your tension, “Robert.”
He says nothing, still picking up the larger dish pieces and looking around for a broom.
“Robert?” you call again, putting down the towel and cup you were cleaning off.
Still no answer.
“Where is that damn broom?” Robert mumbles.
“Robert!” you snap, turning around sharply to face him, finally having enough.
He sighs, slowly standing up from his kneeling position, broken ceramic in his hands. He turns to you, his eyes not meeting yours.
“Look at me,” you say sternly, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.
Robert will flick his eyes over yours and your face but won’t let them settle on your gaze completely. He then realizes tears are streaming down your face.
“Sweetheart, I can buy a new set-“
“I’m not worried about the China dish,” you shake your head, wiping your tears away with the heel of your hand.
Robert nods, studying the room before he spots the broom, walking over and grabbing it. He begins to sweep up the dust and smaller dish fragments, still not looking directly at you. You stand there, arms crossed, as you glare at the man you love.
“If you don’t look at me right now,” you say through gritted teeth, “I will walk out of that door and never come back.”
Robert’s blue eyes immediately shoot up to look at yours, and his face softens, “Don’t.”
You tilt your head sideways, taking in the emotions behind his eyes that he hides so well from everyone- everyone but you. Which is why you know he refuses to look at or speak to you.
“Then talk to me,” you say softly, “You know you can tell me anything, Robert.”
He shakes his head, “I’m fine.”
“Don’t lie to me,” you press your fingers to your temples, stepping around still-packed boxes until you finally reach where your husband is sweeping.
“I would never,” Robert frowns, and you just look at him.
“You aren’t telling me something, and keeping it from me is lying.” 
Robert finishes sweeping the mess up and looks at you defeatedly, “Fine.”
When things go wrong, you and Robert always mend it. And you do that by drawing a bath and sharing a bottle of wine, your favorite vinyl playing softly in the next room. Every time whatever needs to be worked out always turns out okay by the time the bath water is ice cold.
Robert is lying behind you, smoking his pipe as you press your back against his chest. It’s quiet except for the music coming from the turntable in the bedroom and the occasional drip from the faucet.
“Talk to me, love,” you rest your head on Robert’s shoulder, peering up at him.
He traces his fingers through your hair, looking down at you through his eyelashes.
“I just…” Robert trails off, “It’s been difficult.”
“I know,” you say softly, “But you can talk to me. Why won’t you talk to me? Or look at me?”
Robert places a hand on your cheek, pulling your face to his and pressing a delicate kiss to your lips before answering.
“I don’t want you to hate me,” Robert sighs, “For what I’ve done.”
“I don’t hate you, and I never could,” you furrow your eyebrows, looking Robert in the eyes closely.
He nods, “But I could. I do.”
“Don’t hate yourself for what you’ve created. What the government did- that’s not your responsibility. You’re valid for wishing it were Germany instead. What they did, it’s inexcusable,” you run your thumb over the structure of Robert’s face tenderly, “Japan isn’t your fault.”
Robert let’s put an empty laugh, “Then why does it feel like it is?”
Your frown, “You tore a hole in the fabric of the universe,” you say, holding Robert’s face firmly in your hands, “But you didn’t destroy it.”
Robert searches your eyes for any speck of falsehood but finds nothing. 
“I love you, and you can always talk to me, okay?” you say.
“I know,” Robert says, “I just get too inside my head.”
“And what a wonderful place it is to get stuck,” you smile, “Just know when to pull away. And if you can’t, I’m here to lend a hand.”
“I love you too, my gem. Thank you.”
“Never a problem,” you relax back into the cooling water, head against Robert’s chest.
The two of you lay there until the water is freezing and your glasses of wine empty. The two of you curl up in bed, warm and cozy. Robert holds you as close to him as physically possible, stroking your skin to lull you to sleep. And that night, he finally sleeps and isn’t plagued with nightmares of you leaving him. He doesn’t care if the world or history hates him because as long as you love him, the hole he tore in the universe doesn’t seem so big.
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queenshelby · 9 months
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Chemical Reactions (P. 1)
Pairing: Cillian Murphy as J Robert Oppenheimer x Student Reader
Warning: Smut in later parts, Age-Gap, Infidelity 
Words: 1,867
Note: The fic is spoiler free and fantasy. 
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It was just before Christmas when you took up a scholarship at Berkley and, since you were young woman at the tender age of twenty-two, you still could not believe your luck.
You got in to one of the most sought-after courses in the US when it came to quantum physics, which was a field so new and progressive that, to many, its attributes appeared to be rather absurd whereas, to you, it was a way of understanding the world.
The class you had applied for was that of J Robert Oppenheimer who was a well-known physicist and whilst you had only ever read about his works in the academic papers at Harvard, you were eager to finally meet the man whose work impressed you so much.
Being female in the field of physics, however, came with a price. Your skills had often been disregarded because of your gender and being excluded from experiments was not unusual either. As such, you were cautious and kept your obvious excitement at bay as, no doubt, criticism was a concept that your fellow students knew just too well and, in your mind, it was always easy for others to criticise those who they did not yet know, i.e., the new and possibly only female student in their class.
***
On your first day, when you arrived to the impressive building, you realised that you were over twenty minutes early and this, too, was not surprising.
You were punctual most of the time and when you weaved your way through the building, you were surprised by how little time it took for you to find the lecture room, which, thankfully, was unlocked and had a few other students already inside.
You selected a seat one row from the front, in a spot that, to most professors, said "I am eager to learn” which you hoped was beneficial seeing that, at least for now, you were the only woman in the room.
“Would you be accepted by your peers?” you pondered, but your thoughts were quickly interrupted when, who you assumed to be your professor, entered the room.
He was a frail but attractive looking man, wearing a grey suit that was matched by a white shirt and a dark coloured tie. He was smoking cigarette and put his dark brown leather satchel on the table in front of him, rifling haphazardly through the mess of papers inside.
Against your will, you felt a displeased look settle onto your face. Is the professor's class going to be as disorganised as his abyss of a bag, you wondered? Were those other students' assignments in there, begging to be lost?
You smirked for a minute at the intrusion of your very own thoughts about Dr Oppenheimer before you instinctively pulled your cheek in between your teeth which just when more students began to fly in to the room.
“Oh look, someone must have gotten lost” one of them was quick to say with a grin as he had spotted you and your neatly laid out stationary.
“The biology classes are conducted down the hall, in the third room to the left” was what another one said, causing you to rise from your seat in order to speak up against this nonsense just before the professor himself did it for you.
“And what makes you presume that she is in the wrong room, Mr Handley?” Dr Oppenheimer asked almost sternly and his reaction most certainly surprised you as, until now, you did not think that he had even noticed you.
“She is a woman, sir” the man stammered somewhat reluctantly, causing the professor to furrow his eyebrows.
“And you presume that this prestigious establishment seeks to exclude women from studying in the field of physics?” Dr Oppenheimer then asked, causing you to grin silently. “That seems rather absurd, wouldn’t you agree?” he then went on to add, causing the young man to nod.
“Of course... I mean, of course not” the student stammered just before Dr Oppenheimer began to call roll which is something you did not even notice as you were too transfixed on his demure and the way he presented himself until, eventually, your hand shot up at the sound of your full name.
“Present” you said, feeling a blush coming to your cheeks as the class and Dr Oppenheimer looked at you, the latter's blue eyes lingering on you a bit longer than the others.
You forced yourself to hold his gaze, not sure of the intention behind it and then, suddenly, he spoke:
"Miss Y/LN, now tell us, what have they been up to at Harvard these days? This is where you have transferred from, correct?” the professor then asked just as his look towards you intensified even more. His deep blue eyes were seeing right through you and yet you managed to answer him confidently.
“Not much in so far as the physics department is concerned, Dr Oppenheimer. In the last year we experimented with nuclear fission, but I assume that, considering the current political climate, so has everyone else. We then looked at metaphysics, stars, the universe…” you explained before sharing some of your findings and conclusions which impressed not only Dr Oppenheimer but also some of the other students.
When listening to you talk, it became obvious to him that you were rather intelligent even at such a young age and your interest in science was one of great significance.
“None of this is new” one of the students then said nonetheless after you finished your explanations and outlined your conclusions, to which you responded rather sharply yourself.
“I didn’t claim that it was. I simply answered Dr Oppenheimer’s question” you pointed out and the professor was quick to take your side again.
“And I appreciate your thorough explanation Miss Y/LN. It helped me understand where you are at when it comes to the presumed knowledge for my class” Dr Oppenheimer went on to say and you knew that, whatever the true reasons were behind his questions, his intent was not as innocent as he made it out to be. He wanted to know whether the physics department in Harvard knew more than the physics department at Berkley which, luckily for him, was not the case.  
The entire profession was well aware of the ‘program’ about to implemented by the US government and several physicists and educational departments began to protect their research with more earnest for a chance to cash in on the war.
But, Dr Oppenheimer did not appear to be one of those reserved physicists who were just in it for themselves. To the contrary, he really cared about making a difference and his research to date was well known within in the industry. He did not mind sharing his findings even if they were inconclusive and you have heard many stories about how he enjoyed working in the faculty as part of a group rather than on his own.
He was a leader but also a team player and, as such, when he wrapped up his questions for the day and announced the research project for the coming days, every student around him broke out into appreciative chatter as you remained in your seat, slightly dumbfounded, as the students were broken up into four groups.
---
“You worked in experimental before, have you not?” Dr Oppenheimer asked as, after a little while, he approached you and the group to which he had assigned you.
“I am pleased to know that you have read my file Dr Oppenheimer” you smiled after giving him a nod, which too is when you realised just how handsome he truly was. He must have been in his late thirties and seeing a wedding ring on this man’s finger came as a disappointment to you.
“I have read all of my students’ files” Dr Oppenheimer assured you just as you stood awkwardly at your table for a moment, debating whether or not to take the courage to ask him the millions of questions you had for him already until, suddenly, he prompted you to do exactly that.
"Did you have a question for me?" Dr Oppenheimer asked innocently as if he could have read your mind.
“Uhm…” you paused while cursing yourself already for having started your sentence with that godforsaken 'uhm' which, in your opinion, made you sound like an idiot.
"Yes, actually. I was wondering if, with this formula, you have considered the possibility…” you began to question, seeing how he had arrived at the calculations already presented to you and, just as you spoke with such great determination, you trailed off a bit as his gaze intensified.
“Quite frankly, you lost me there, at the end of your calculations but that is not to say that you are wrong” Dr Oppenheimer said almost politely as you looked at him somewhat flustered, causing your fellow students to chuckle and whisper behind your back.
“I must have lost my own train of thought just then. I am sorry sir” you said with blushing red cheeks as all of your confidence flew out of the window and you suddenly became aware of the way he was standing, with his hands against his hips, and the way he looked all together.
“Don’t be sorry Miss Y/LN. In fact, I am interested in exploring that idea of yours further, perhaps even after today’s lessons if you have time” Dr Oppenheimer then said as he adjusted the way he stood and smiled.
“That would be my pleasure, sir” you responded as you watched him spread his arms out on the table in front of you, far past shoulder width. He was leaning on his hands, causing the veins on his forearms to bulge slightly, which were exposed by the rolled-up sleeves of his white button-down shirt. He had his head tilted down a bit to look at you with those deep blue eyes until, eventually, he snapped out of his very own and somewhat intrusive thoughts which were thoughts you knew had nothing to do with quantum mechanics whatsoever.  
Dr Oppenheimer then licked his lips lightly before speaking again, distracting you from the first few syllables of his sentence.
"Good, then please come and see when you finish for the day, Miss Y/LN. I will be right here, trying to figure out what you were on about” Dr Oppenheimer then said just as the bell began to ring and the students started to pack up their bags, seeing that most of them had experimental workshops to attend to in the afternoon which, of course, included you. You too had a workshop, which was one you did not look forward to.
“Yes doctor. I will see you this afternoon” you told him with a reluctant smile as you pulled your lab coat closer to your chest and forced your face to remain neutral, even as you felt the heat burning up your neck. You then gave him a curt "thank you" before lifting your chin and turning to leave.
To be continued…
Please comment and engage. I love getting comments and predictions pretty please!
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weirdworldofwinnie · 8 months
Text
Oasis in a Desperate Land of Dark Desire - Part One: Arrival
Cillian Murphy as J. Robert Oppenheimer x Female Wife Reader, NSFW 18+ only
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Summary: You are married to the man in charge of the Manhattan Project himself, Dr. Robert Oppenheimer, and it's your first day (and night) at Los Alamos where tension and unspoken worry is getting high, but he finds time to show you how love can be an oasis in what seems like a rather barren land.
Word Count: ~7, 213
Warnings: Age gap (reader is mid-20s and he is almost 40, and they have been married for a couple years), period stereotypical gender roles (maybe sexism?), unprotected + oral sex, mention of miscarriage, and strong hints at infidelity
Disclaimer: Obviously NOT completely historically or scientifically accurate to real life and is inspired by the film with Cillian Murphy's portrayal of Oppenheimer. There are definitely mentions of Katherine and Jean Tatlock as lovers in this, but he does not have any children with Kitty and is not physically with either of them presently. I also want to clarify that this (while researched) is still just my interpretation with AU elements added in, and it isn't supposed to be in total support and reflection of the real man's life/personality. Scroll away and DNI if you are uncomfortable or take issue with this story; it is primarily for entertainment purposes only and it is just fantasy/fiction!
April 1943
The ride en route to the secluded destination christened as "Los Alamos" was long, hot, and bumpy through the New Mexico desert on a single primitive dirt road with the sun beating down on the windshield, glaring into your eyes and reflecting off the expensive dainty golden watch wrapped around your wrist that had been last year's anniversary present, and the jostling motion of the car made your breasts jiggle up and down slightly, reminding you that you'd been in such a hurry to leave with Robert this morning you'd regrettably forgone putting on a bra. He glanced over to you now, his porkpie hat shadowing the serious and contemplative expression that he had been wearing as a regular look for weeks now... Finally this plan was coming to fruition, but at what cost? It was the government's money and the scientists who were on the line. Robert let you know more details than most out of his non-physics inner circle because he trusted you to keep your lips sealed, but he never gave specifics about what exactly the coined Manhattan Project, or Project Y, was for in terms of a mission yet because it was national security level secret, however it didn't take a genius to figure out it was incredibly important and the development of something dangerous... Too dangerous to keep in a campus laboratory at Berkeley.
As the car approached the main gate and passed by the checkpoint, you realized just now fairly remote this barbed-wire location was and it made a small sinkhole crater in your stomach. But Robert knew this land from his youth and you partly did too, for he owned ranchland here and you both had spent many hours in the last couple years roaming on horseback and on foot into the twilight hours of the day, feeling the chill of the evening breeze and the rustle of shrubbery as the sun dipped down below the horizon and plum light bathed the landscape, bouncing off the backdrop of mountains and reaching deep into the canyons. You recalled fondly one time in particular during the early stages of being courted by him... It was technically only the second date and he had mistakenly trusted you with a horse, even though you were hardly an experienced rider, and of course it had gone ballistic and attempted to buck you off as you held on for dear life to the stiff dark brown leather saddle.
"Woah... Woah! Easy, easy," Robert had called out, grabbing a hold of the bridle and patting the stallion on the neck as you gasped and he kicked his hooves, thrashing the dirt and missing Robert's cowboy boots by inches.
"This one can be a bit rowdy, sometimes the wild never quite gets bred out, and he's not used to you," he explained simply over your panicked cries as he kept patting and verbally calming the animal down.
"But what did I do wrong? I swear, he dislikes me tremendously!" you exclaimed in shock and Robert only shook his head.
"Then he has very poor taste in women if he rejects you," he had joked and you went sliding off the horse's back to where Robert caught you, easing you to the ground gently.
"Are you alright?" he asked, eyes alight with a mischievous concern, but you merely brushed your pants off and smoothed your blouse, shaking the experience off.
"Of course I am. Now are we riding or not?"
He smiled at your confidence, but had hoisted you up onto his horse instead, straddling you from behind so you were facing front and clutching onto the reins. His arms loped around your waist and the horse began to trot, bouncing both you and him in a steady up and down motion, and you flicked the reins, causing the horse to take off into the expansive landscape and Robert let out a joyous whoop as the pace transitioned into a gregarious cantering gallop and the wind whipped your hair around like a battered Old Glory flag in a storm.
"This is too fast!" you had yelled out, but he only laughed, tightening his hold into a squeeze around you and spoke into your ear with a low murmur which instinctively made the goosebumps flare up on your neck.
"I wouldn't let you go even if that horse went mad and flew us off the ground over into a ravine to our deaths."
A little more than six months later after that frivolous adventure, he had dropped to his knee in that very desert and proposed to you, a diamond engagement ring encased in a black box in his palms and you were startled, taken aback at the promptness and faintly aware he was actively seeing at least one other woman at the time, but he had claimed he called it off with her a week ago.
You had cautiously accepted, knowing he was far from a wholesome man, but he was certainly one in a billion and you had unapologetically been with him ever since, even though some friends and extended relatives had openly judged, thinking you were only climbing up a social status ladder by doing so, and a couple of your more left-leaning girlfriends thought you were foolish to already settle for a man at your young age, but you truly loved him. Romance was rather odd; so rushed it could be and yet you felt comfortable around him as if you had known each other for life; soulmates, perhaps, if there ever was such a notion.
The wedding ceremony had been lavish enough to make you feel special, but it had been a more low-key event with only a small group of the closest friends and family in attendance, for he did not want much pomp and circumstance and you had spent the honeymoon at his secluded New Mexico ranch property, bizarrely a sort of prelude to where you both were ending up now. The phone hadn't stopped ringing for the past few weeks and since this work was taking up presidency, it was truth to be told that you hadn't really had time for each other and had been distant these past couple months as he diverted all his focus and intellect to the government and you hoped that after all this preparation, everything would settle somewhat now that he was at the ground level site. You felt trepidation but also excitement because this venture felt relevant and Robert was in his element with the company of like minded individuals all working towards a common goal. His vocation in teaching what he already knew of upper level physics had been boring him lately and he had told you multiple times he was haunted by the pressing need to be essential to the war effort outside of the confines of a classroom; he and his students had to make a real impact and change to the world, to this damned war. And if Robert wasn't the most ambitious, motivated, self-driven intelligent human being you'd ever met, then you'd be stumped to know who was right for the job; he could be dangerously dogged and was as loyal to this country as roots were to their corresponding corn stalks.
And now, starting today, he was the one man scientific director, a ruler really, of this militarized oasis in the middle of, well, nowhere.
Fractions of the place were still in progress, as evident by the trucks and the hammering with the occasional man lumbering past hauling construction boards on his shoulders. The Oppenheimers were still early in arrival, but everyone else on the project was supposed to be settled in by the end of the week. The house you and your husband were to live at was much better off than the cookie-cutter houses hastily put up suburban style along the man-made streets and it was tucked furthest away from the epicenter of town; a large spacious log and stone cabin (that had been formerly a boys' school) ranch style home surrounded by pine trees and shrubs along with a decent yard with that seemed ripe for cultivating a garden, and yet the home was modest and not overly luxurious; this was no vacation.
"The kitchen isn't finished?" you asked in surprise at once upon entry inside and Robert sighed, knowing you how much you had a penchant for cooking and he also knew that hosting gatherings here was going to be essential.
"I'll make sure they get it complete by the end of the week," he assured, resting a hand on the small of your back as you dropped down the luggage on the floor.
"Well, it is rather nice otherwise," you admitted, turning to him and smiling, but he couldn't quite return the gesture.
"Robert, what's the matter?" You reached to cup his cheek and he leaned into your touch before lifting up his own hand and placing it atop the one plastered to his face.
"I'm frankly worried how this is all going to work, how soon we can accomplish what we need to do. The death toll in Germany grows by the day, it may already be too late and..."
You placed a hand to his lips, shushing him with sadness.
"Please, shh, I'll have none of that talk when we just arrived in our new house. We are here now and that is the most important first step that matters towards any kind of accomplishment to your saving the world from this hellish war."
"I need to go do some oversight on the operations in town and at the laboratory," he announced abruptly, stepping back from your touch and picking up his briefcase as you nodded, moving with him to the front door.
"I'll see you tonight then. I think I'll make deviled chicken with a creamy coleslaw."
"I'm sure it will be delicious." He gave a tight smile and it was a somewhat ironic statement coming from the man who ate less than a thousand calories a day. That was one frustrating aspect about him that you had discovered when you had moved in with him back in California and realized he never had regular meals, and lately drinks and cigarettes were his main fuel. You hoped one of these days your passion for food would finally rub off on his aversion, but it probably wouldn't happen here with the increased supply rationing.
He disappeared out the door with his hat and you stood for awhile, taking in this new environment inside the main part of the house with its interesting architecture of high beamed ceilings and picture windows that allowed ample amounts of natural light at almost all hours. You spent most of the day unpacking and organizing, briefly going out to greet and visit with the other wives of top scientists, some you already knew, but others you had not met until today and you noticed that one of those you weren't familiar with was visibly pregnant... She was even younger than you and seeing her led you to wonder how quickly this little manufactured desert town was going to see a population boom in the next few years. Robert had brought up the concept of having children with you on more than one occasion, since you had already gone through one miscarriage (only in your first trimester and you never knew the sex of it, the doctor told you it could have been worse if you had carried to full term and lost the infant at birth, but it was still a gutting loss... Although you knew Robert was privately relieved, especially now since his work would likely leave no room in his heart to father an innocent, demanding child and all the burden would go to you alone) and there was the fact of possible infertility. The hardship of procreation probably ran in the family... Your mother had also miscarried, then had your premature brother who caught polio at two years old and perished weeks later, and then she herself had died during your own childbirth, leaving your father devastated and alone to care for you. You had a complicated, strained relationship early on with him and you wondered perhaps Freud was loosely right about the Oedipus complex since you always had such strong attractions to older men... but at least your father always tried to give you the best possible life he had with his wealth, which led you to moving out from your childhood home in New York across the country to pursue attending college in California in the field of psychology and medicine. You had been in the process of getting a degree in nursing, at least until Robert altered your life by his own ambitions and you had been forced to drop your studies temporarily to move out here with him, but you planned to be studying some by correspondence if the government allowed and also to be able to help out in the small hospital on site for an occupation.
To trim the excess fat off a long story short, it had been a bizarre fluke that you met and promptly fell in love with Robert... you were introduced on campus by friends who also knew Jean Tatlock, a budding psychiatrist and proudly Communist, and he had happened to take a bright shine to you. You considered him unattainable at first, a very well respected brilliant physics teacher with more life experience than you could have dreamed of... He was otherworldly at times, yet found grounding earth in your presence, but it would mystify you what exactly he found so desirable in you. You were as lovely as any other woman your age and smart, but you never thought of yourself as outstandingly intelligent when compared to the people he taught in academia, and not absolutely drop dead gorgeous in terms of prize worthy beauty. Perhaps the attraction, like Robert's scientific passion, was on a molecular scale and only bonded by invisible atoms making the illusion of being a solid relationship. Maybe it was as basic as the fact that you two were mutually compatible with each other and respectable of any differences, unlike his other fiery messy relationships with Jean and Katherine. Would you having a baby split that all apart? Personally, you weren't sure you were ready for any offspring yet and to be thrown into motherhood when you were still navigating having a successful marriage and you highly doubted "The Hill" (as the residents here were calling it) would be a healthy environment for children to thrive in, despite the efforts for a school and daycare, seeing that there were armed uniforms milling about all hours of the day and silent stress was already pervasive in every look, cough, and casual conversation you noticed through passing by. And it was only day one of, as Robert predicated, two to three years of hard work swathed in isolated secrecy.
As daylight began to fade fast and inevitably hand itself over to the darkness, you went back to the house to fry up the chicken. The stove was effective, although one burner seemed a little on the fritz, but half of the cabinetry was unfinished and the counter space was minimal.
Laying out the cream-colored napkins and the finest china you had brought packed securely in a box, you delicately set the table. Despite not having a birth mother to guide you through womanhood, you took to home keeping fairly well and religiously read the magazines, believing being married to an upper class man meant all these details and roles. But privately you also felt the crushing pressure and caught yourself wondering if you were immature to be in this mold. Robert never told you otherwise though and he would theoretically be the last man to stamp out a woman's sense of inner individuality, but you couldn't ignore the fact you, while willingly, still had to sideline your educational and career priorities to come support and live here with your husband. But it didn't matter too much, for you knew in your heart you could follow this man to the ends of the earth if you so desired.
For good ambient measure, you lit two pillar candles in the center of the tablecloth and just as you laid the food on a plate, you heard the front door crack open and the soft clomping of shoes.
Robert would never be the 'Honey, I'm home!' type of husband, yet he always managed to make an entrance regardless, especially now. His slender frame leaned into the doorway, hands crumpling his hat in front of his crotch and the candlelight flashed harrowing ghoulish shadows across his sharp cheekbones and dull pinkish lips.
"Well, what do you think?" you proposed, gesturing to the table spread when he didn't speak. He only gazed at your feminine features, his eyes full of desire that wasn't for the dinner you made, and when his mouth finally parted, he spoke in a husky voice, slowly coming closer and abandoning his hat to a chair, closing in on you.
"I'm sure it is very palatable, but I fear my hunger cannot be fulfilled by only earthly consumption," he confessed, ducking to kiss your cheek and moving his hands up to your neck, caressing your nape and moving his mouth to your lips, but you gently pushed him away, pressing into the fabric of his gray suit jacket.
"We should wait until after dinner," you told him earnestly, knowing what he wanted instead.
"Dessert, then?" he murmured, coming close again despite your light physical resistance and thumbing your bottom lip. You smiled and his arm snaked under your skirt and between your thighs, hand crawling upward to your panties and you breathed in, changing your mind.
"Maybe I can wait to eat after all."
His breath caught, a single finger inches from hitting your covered vaginal area, before he removed his teasing hand and pulled back, gripping your shoulders with conviction.
"Eat. You deserve it and you worked hard on preparing it, I can observe."
He bent down, gentlemanly drawing out a chair for you to sit down in, which you did, letting his hands linger at the neckline of your blouse before he walked around to the other side of the small round table and took a seat, rummaging out a cigarette from the pack in his shirt pocket and striking it up with his lighter, the smoke wafting in wispy trails around his head. You took a careful first bite, relishing in the flavor and spices (paprika in particular) as he sat there across from you, relaxing back in his chair and taking a drag on the cigarette, puffing out a sigh. You smirked, swallowing a forkful as he kept his gaze steady on you.
"You're making me self conscious, just sitting there surveying my appetite," you told him and he grinned, fiddling with the cigarette.
"I enjoy watching you eat. You are the very essence of life I see lacking in so much of this world."
You blushed in the warm glow of the candlelight, remaining humble.
"That is quite a compliment I don't know if I'm quite worthy of."
"You are, no jury would contradict me." He nodded sincerely as he smoked and you ate in silence for a few minutes before he then finally gave his cigarette a rest and poked at his food, politely taking a few bites of hot chicken and chewing at a snail's pace.
"How did today go?" you tentatively asked, finishing off your own chicken and moving to the rich, crunchy coleslaw.
"We will be making progress. Although I will always say, that General Groves is the most obstinate man with the exact deposition one would expect from a bulldog," he answered with a touch of bitter amusement.
"Should you be saying that? They're... not listening, are they?" you asked in a hushed paranoid voice, glancing around the room and knowing that the phone lines were tapped for sure, but you weren't certain they would go as far to place bugging devices hidden in the house.
"Relax, I could say much worse," Robert admitted nonchalantly with a harmless shrug and you allowed yourself a chuckle, mentally picturing a bulldog in a General's uniform. You took a bite of cabbage, changing the conversation to your side of social contacts in this limited town.
"I met with our neighbors and the other ladies today. They seem cordial and we have already exchanged pleasantries and plans for a party next weekend. I also offered to babysit one mother's two rambunctious little boys and spoke to the doctor at the medical facility about assistance there."
Robert nodded, gesturing with his empty fork.
"Keeping busy I see, but I'll have to arrange to let you in the office sometime instead of spending your days cooped up here and at the neighbors. I missed you and your insight already today."
"But you know I am not privy to everything you and your scientists are doing here..." you started to protest before he cut you off.
"I'm well aware, but I doubt a visit to my own office will cause a security uproar. You are my wife, Y/N. The reason most of the scientists came to Los Alamos in the first place was not solely the work, but because they could bring their wives, their families. We do our best work with moral and... sexual support." He raised his eyebrows and you felt a tingle run through you, a yearning for exactly what he was suggesting, but you had to finish the meal first.
Once you cleared most of your plate, he surprised you by taking the dishes and quickly rinsing the plates in the sink before making and pouring out his signature martinis. You knew Robert must be silently stressed however, for he only took one sip of his drink before he moved outside under the roof awning with his tobacco pipe, settling down on a folding chair and gazing out at the landscape and listening to the low mumble of military personnel mingling about on patrol as though this were a prison (which it was).
You joined him with a cigarette a few minutes later (you had never smoked a single cigarette until you married Robert and unconsciously adopted the habit, but you weren't much of a smoker when it made you cough, yet you kind of enjoyed the nicotine having that convenient effect of temporarily soothing your nerves) and positioned yourself down next to him, letting the cigarette dangle from your lips while folding your hands neatly on your knees.
His eyelids were appearing heavy and his head drooped, chin tucking down. You gave him a bumping nudge and he looked over at you, teeth clamped down on his pipe.
"Tired?" you wondered and he gave a noncommittal grunt, fixing his eyes back straight ahead. You noticed how still he was - calm - and it was a welcome change from the past few weeks where he had been wound up, constantly on the phone at one point or another and gone for many hours in meetings. But now that nearly everyone was all here, it was almost too tranquil... giving the illusion of calm before potential chaos.
"Oppie!" a young man's voice suddenly called out and he came jogging into view on the rock slabbed pathway, halting slightly when he saw you.
"Oh, good evening Ma'am," he greeted courteously with a squinted smile. You smiled in turn, nodding, and he focused to Robert, who gave a tilt of his pipe in acknowledgement and stood up stiffly.
"Any news I should know about, Feynman?"
The man paused, glancing to you warily.
"Is it about the nature of our work?" Robert asked sharply and Feynman shook his head.
"No, sir, it is not pertaining to that."
"Well, whatever it is you can say in front of my wife and I then."
"It's just a communicative matter. There was a phone call from a young woman asking for you earlier that was flagged in the office for personal matters concerning security. Groves is in a fit and I was to inform you tomorrow, but I thought I'd give fair warning and-"
"Then I will address it tomorrow," Robert interrupted and without further word, took your arm and marched you back inside the house. You shook off his touch and shut the door hard, spinning to address him.
"What the hell was that about?"
He closed his eyes and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing his forehead while exhaling.
"There are intimate ghosts that continue to haunt me," he answered cryptically, taking refuge in the lounge and sipping his martini, but you had a hunch however who was the "ghost" because you knew her and you pointed a finger sternly at him.
"This is about Jean, isn't it? How does she even know to contact this location? And I thought you were all done with her, as you are with that Katherine!"
"I am, I swear to it. But she is different than any other woman I have been with before you, though. She can be... unstable and she may need to hear from me."
"She just wants your sex, that's all!"
"It's more complicated than that."
"You had nights with her while you were having nights with me during courting, I heard about it from our friends. It was still the sex that was the driving factor that she desired from you."
He looked down, unable to deny that entirely and you backed away, shaking your head.
"I can't believe this, the first day here and you can't shake those Communist ties trailing us."
"May I remind you that you considered fully joining once upon a time in the not so distant past? We met at such a social function, remember?"
You bit your lip and refused to meet his wide eyes staring a hole into you, for this was very well true.
"I did, but I overcame it. It's ridiculous to devote one's energy to an ideology and not to concrete, practical solutions. I was never devoted and absolutely do not consider myself a member. I never was."
This made Robert scowl, setting his glass down with a clink.
"It is my opinion that you should be free to choose your dogmas, if you want any at all that is. Belief is voluntary, but it shouldn't be a crime; we all deserve our wiggle room."
"Is that what she told you too?"
He licked his lips, stepping close so you were involuntarily arrested by his blue eyes boring into yours and his hand slid up your arm, finding your shoulder and the bra strap peeking out from the neckline of the blouse.
"I see you put one on," he muttered and you blinked, almost forgetting about that little detail and refusing to be seduced by his perceptivity.
"Yes, I did. My breasts are still sore from that uncomfortable car ride."
"It's a shame they are so contained now," he whispered, beginning to undo the buttons on the blouse and push his fingers into the crevice between your breasts, but you weren't quite having it after the unresolved discussion and the way he had been moments before.
"We are going to do this now? After what I just accused? And besides, I thought you were too preoccupied and planning to sit out there half the night smoking away by your lonesome while I go to bed."
"You make nights worth bearing awake, especially tonight." He shifted, groping at your breasts and you stumbled back into the wall, breathing in shallow gasps. He put a finger to his lips conspiratorially and hugged your body with his own, speaking discreetly.
"We should be quiet to not disturb any nearby neighbors."
"They can't hear us and besides, I'm sick of piping down," you whined, remembering the date nights out in the desert where he'd lay out a picnic blanket and fuck you right then and there with the horses grazing several feet away and the canopy of stars winking overhead. You'd make as much noise as merited, probably confusing the yipping coyotes far off in the distance.
"I think we can try to control our auditory impulses for one night," Robert whispered, hands going to your waist and tugging at your skirt.
"The bedroom," you gasped, rushing away from him and down the narrow hallway, twisting around as he chased you with a huff.
"Where is it?" you asked anxiously, opening a couple doors and unfamiliar to this section of the house in the minimal lighting, when he suddenly pushed you from behind into an empty room with a single large king bed.
"Only the best for us," he told you and you fell forwards onto it, kicking your heels off and quickly flipping around to your back as he loosened his tie, casting it off to the floor and unbuttoning his white shirt as you sat up, reaching needily for his belt buckle and he leaned over onto you now shirtless and when he met your lips in a frantic kiss, you then noticed the prudent stench of sweat on his skin that was disrupting his usual familiar smoky flavor mixed with cologne and aftershave.
"Wait," you ordered, pressing a hand up on his collarbone.
"What is it?" he implored worriedly, searching your expression for the solution.
"Bath, you should bathe. It's been a few days and this heat isn't helping. Hasn't anyone told you that you reek like a dog?"
He groaned mournfully, leaning back and unfastening the belt, tossing it to the floor with a clunk of metal.
"You won't let me have you until I do?" he asked sadly, but you had an idea.
"What if I join you?"
His eyes sparked at this notion and you moved off the bed, finding the bathroom across the hall. This house was one of only a few equipped with tubs instead of showers; they didn't call this street "Bathtub Row" for nothing.
Robert finished undressing in front of you, tugging down his trousers and boxers, springing forth an already ready penis.
"You're going to make me work for it tonight, aren't you?" he asked as he stepped into the large basin, turning on the faucet and letting out a gasp when a strong stream of water blasted onto his bare feet.
"J-Jesus Christ, it's freezing!" he exclaimed loudly with a sputter and frantically slamming a hand on the knob as you laughed from your spot by the sink, taking out your earrings and slipping off your small wristwatch.
"Get in, I was warned about the water supply around here possibly being fickle, even for us," he commanded as you finagled your skirt and blouse off with your bra and panties discarded to the bathroom floor before taking a leg over the tub and stepping in to sit down across from him, letting the tub fill up one third of the way as a sitz bath before awkwardly reaching around him to grab the bar of ivory soap from the dish and began to rub into his back with it.
"I should've put in a request for an even larger bath," he complained as you scrunched up your legs against his and scrubbed dutifully into the folds of his skin.
"It'll do fine, darling."
He took the soap and you both took turns lathering each other up, making frothy circles with the creamy soap and rinsing, the water streaming down into the tub again, flooding both yours and his soapy complexion, washing it all off down the drain before having it fill up again, this time three quarters of the way. The water now pleasantly lukewarm, Robert contorted his body to submerge his head under the waterline and he came up with a loud splash, his wiry dark hair flattening to a wet mess on his forehead as your own dampened and you watched the droplets of water collect on his somewhat pallid skin. He scooted closer, entangling legs, and couldn't resist a quick dart of a finger down to your vagina and you whimpered as he touched your clitoris, inserting into you and making you arch your back and buck your hips when he inserted another finger, exploring around your wet velvety walls.
"God, Robert..." you moaned, digging your nails into the grooves of his skin and up to his head, feeling the cropped soaked scalp and neck. He suddenly lightly shoved you against the side of the tub, pressing his mouth to yours and naturally winding his tongue in, kissing you passionately until the water temperature grew too cold and you shivered, glued to his body and burying your face into his wet shoulder.
"That was merely the first act, sweetheart," he whispered and you smiled, leaning back a few inches so he could get up and step out onto the bath mat, taking your hand as he did so to pull you up and guide you out. Robert grabbed a large towel from the rack and wound it around the both of you, letting his genitals press up against yours and you both stood there for a while, listening to the steady drip-drop-drip-drop-drip-drop of falling water to the flooring.
"I'm surprised you've held off this long," you murmured, feeling his rising erection in between your thighs.
"I truly can't wait any longer," he admitted urgently and the towel dropped with a flump to the floor, and with bodies still slick with water, you and him exited the bathroom to fumble to the bedroom and the blue light from the window illuminated the sheets, the ideal love making spot. He let you collapse on your back and easily came down on top, gripping the back of your neck and already plunging in to align, but you squirmed in dissatisfaction.
"So soon?" you whined, wanting to play with and taste him first, but he was antsy to get to the pinnacle.
"Your virtuous patience should be framed and put on the walls of this house, along with your divine beauty," he whispered, head moving down to your breasts and you dug your fingers into his bare back, running along the bones of his more pronounced spine.
"C'mon, Oppie, let's do this the fun way... Give it to me," you begged and he cringed slightly, but rolled over onto his side and you immediately found his stiff penis with your hands, clenching around it firmly and stroking. He moaned softly and it flexed in your grasp... He could be a decent size when engaged, which was impressive for his underweight body.
"But don't you dare let me go without seeding you inside," he warned as though you had all the control.
"That's the plan."
Wordlessly, you positioned yourself down to the head of his cock and licked off his pre-cum, the recognizable taste milky on your tongue and you sucked, bringing it halfway in and fondling his balls lovingly in the meantime. He was breathing heavily and you didn't linger long at his member however because you could tell he was getting very close and neither you nor him wanted him to release anywhere other than the intended internal target. Pulling out and licking your lips, you repositioned your body on top of his and sank down flat to his chest, and he thrusted his hips up to meet you, heaving in with a grunt. You winced at the initial entry; you were always so sensitive down there (especially since the miscarriage), and he steadily kept at it, probing in further without being too rough.
"Fuck..." you breathed with a cry and he came forward to smooch your cheek as you mounted your hands on his shoulders and he pumped in and out, shaking the entire bed.
"That's exactly what I'm doing, my love," he breathed, keeping an intense gaze trained on you.
"Robert..." you groaned, letting him push as far as he could go until the pleasure was overloading and you felt his hot wet spurt of cum hit, eliciting a long moan from him, his slender frame shuddering beneath you. He closed his eyes and you kept a firm clench around his shaft, not ready to have him pull out yet. Gasping, you began rocking back and forth with ecstasy, your insides stretched to their limit and he seemed to know you were struggling to hold him.
"I'm coming out," he muttered and gently pulled back wetly so he wasn't balls deep in you anymore and then you repositioned to lightly ride him, which was your favorite position, and you bounced up and down on his upright full cock, orgasming a few more times as he watched your euphoria in rapture, so proud he alone could make you like this over and over until you were out of air and exhausted, collapsing to the side of the bed and feeling the sheets very damp with bodily juices.
Robert spooned you from behind, arms draped over to dangle his fingers on your swollen nipples and you matched his breathing in rhythm. Every time was somehow better than the last... Sex with him was as natural as breathing and you appreciated the consistent chemistry that you worried would have faded after a couple years of marriage due to what you'd heard about stress and boredom destroying a couple's sex drive, but Robert was not a boring person in the least sense of the term.
"We should do this every night," you offered hopefully and he chuckled.
"And make me the most lucky, tired man in this whole community? I'd be up for that, although it'll be a wonder if I get any work done at all when I've got this memory lingering with me tomorrow," he replied and you heard the smile in his tone, but with it came the bitter resurgence of the likely phone call from another woman that was bile in the back of your throat and even though he supposedly broke it off with her before you got married, you knew he had stayed in contact and you couldn't help but wonder how he fucked her and if it was comparable to what you and him had with each other, since she seemed to want him so badly. That wasn't to mention "Kitty" who he had insisted on still being "friends" with. A bit depressed and irritated, you pushed away his hands off your breasts and turned back over to face him in the dimness that made even those prominent blue colored eyes of his too muddled to see into.
"How did you become the most desired physicist to women in the whole country?" you asked softly.
"Good genes?" he guessed in amusement and you shook your head, not requiring a punchline.
"You're known to be a womanizer, neurotic, eccentric, a tad arrogant, and yet everybody seems to want you, including me as your own wife. Tell me, why did the universe give you such magnetized gifts?"
He gave a subtle lift of his shoulders with a small lazy smile as you laid your head on the pillow, fending off fatigue.
"Why was Aphrodite the one chosen to be blessed with such beauty and fertility? Why are we the way that we are? There are some matters of the human being to be unfounded in the definitive and everything is relative." He sat up with his back against the headboard and proceeded to light another cigarette and you sleepily watched the hazy smoke drift off above the bed towards the ceiling. He sighed, setting it to rest in the ashtray on the nightstand and wrap his lean arm around your body, drawing you close into his side.
"You are my goddess, Y/N. You are the only woman I want to return home too, always. Don't you know that?" he murmured into your hair and you vaguely nodded.
"I do, but I also know you're not always the most faithful man."
He lifted his hand and touched his ring finger to yours, matching the simple gold bands you both shared as two united.
"I married you out of good faith and the vows we pledged might have well been written in stone in the language of the gods along on the pulmonary arteries flowing as though a river into my heart," he told you with no trace of doubt, but you knew the whole story that didn't need flourishing.
"Only because the two other women fell through on commitment - although tonight I suspect they both presumably still want you - and one was already hitched, so she was having an affair by being with you and wouldn't divorce unless you happened to get her pregnant. I just happened to be the most available, the convenient bride with no attached strings, even though everyone said it was abnormally soon and I am too young," you recounted bitterly and he frowned, tilting your chin upward.
"Is that how you see it? I have never fallen for someone as fast and as hard as I did for you. I still feel the way I did when I laid a glimpse on you at Mary Ellen Washburn's party."
You smiled despite yourself and he bent to kiss the top of your head as you snuggled into his chest, absentmindedly fondling his moist cock with your fingers.
"I do love you beyond comprehension, Y/N," he whispered and you glanced up, meeting his look.
"I do too and I want to believe I always will, until the end of our existence. I am not those other women and I do not want to become so."
A solemn seriousness grew over him and he closed his eyes as you felt tears suddenly spike and an unexplainable terrible sense of dread came over you.
"Promise me one thing, Robert." You paused, taking a deep breath.
"Promise me that whatever happens to us in this world, in this setting, that you will always find a way home and whatever we face, we face together."
He gave a single nod, but you sensed reluctance in the way a muscle in his jaw made a minor spasm.
"I will always do my best."
"Alright," you resigned and he sighed, relaxing back and settling down into the sheets, further roping his arms around you and you burrowed your face into his chest, feeling his light hair follicles tickle your forehead. Tomorrow - and the future for that matter - was uncertain, but at least tonight was building up to a promise of solid sureness, a safeness, bonding those atoms of love again.
Love, or the feeling of it, was a lot like quantum mechanics; essentially invisible to the naked eye and complicated, but the one difference was that it was unmeasurable. No amount of numbers or equations could add up the real affection you felt for your husband, even when the waters became too choppy to be comfortable and it was far from perfect. You just had to cement the fact that you were Mrs. Oppenheimer and that wasn't going to change anytime soon, any disruptive external factors be absolutely damned to hell.
Thanks for reading, expect a little drama for chapter 2... And I do not have a full outline to every part of this fic, so please be patient as I find spare time to work on it and upload. I always appreciate any likes, reblogs, and feedback ❤️
*If anyone would be interested in being tagged, drop a comment and I'll make a tag list for the next part!*
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your-nanas-house · 3 months
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Dr. Oppenheimer... for them
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◇ Pairing: Cillian M.!J Robert Oppenheimer x student fem!Reader
◇ Warnings: suggestive, professor x student, confused mind, attraction and kiss, age gap (both off age)
◇ Summary: Y/n's professor ask her to stay after class.
◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English. Inspired on @pinguwrites character ai Oppie, love your characters on chai!
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“Y/n... you’ve been doing a great job in your class so far.” Oppenheimer leaned on his desk, his light blue eyes surveying his student as her name, which rolled too easily out from his tongue, left him a sweet but bitter taste.
The age difference was obvious, and he was worried that others would notice the way he looked at her— not that it stopped him of course.
Y/n was was a very beautiful young woman and had a brilliant mind... something that affascinate and turned on Robert.
"Thank you, sir" she quickly replied with a gentle smile, his praises warming up her chest as her grip on her bag got tighter.
“You know, some of my colleagues have been saying you’re the top student in the class” the older man paused after his statement, his eyes scanning her again. Her body was so arousing, it was pretty innocent and professional but she made it look sinful by the way she wore it— and he had to fight, yet again, the urge not to stare with lust and disrespect.
"I'm not even near at it," the younger woman replied with a soft chuckle, her cheeks flushing of a dull red while her heart beat in her chest violently.
“Don’t be so modest.” her professor put on a kind smile as he speaked his mind, a serious glimpse in his beautiful eyes which were fixed on her lips, repressing a deep and needy urge of wanting to kiss her.
“You’re very smart, not only that, you’re also very talented— you’ll go far.” He assured her as soon as he snapped out of the trance.
Oppenheimer was close to crossing the line. How much more could he go on about how attractive she was and still keep his job and reputation? He didn't really want to find out.
Y/n stood in front of him, her eyes bright and a big smile on her face... one that made Robert fell back into thoughts.
Was she thinking the same? He asked himself, his hand rubbing his chin slowly as his eyes not budged from her.
As the student kept observing him, a tender silence spread across the room between them like a tangible thing. Oppenheimer couldn’t take his eyes away from Y/n’s lips, the darkish lipstick so vibrant on her.
It was tempting— and dangerous.
“Come here” he finally urged her quietly, watching her reply with a nod before moving closer to where he was standing.
“Sit.” he gestured towards a chair beside him, ignoring his racing heart as he repressed still the want... or the urger he had to just take a hold of the back of her neck to allow him to pull her face closer and connect their lips in a kiss that he was longing badly.
“I want you to do something for me,” Robert said, his voice raspy and with a hint of hidden lust.
His light blue eyes observed her, his heart beating faster against his chest “Close your eyes.” He murmured as a request, his Adam's apple moving as he gulped.
The young woman obeyed without asking him any questions, with maximum respect in his decisions and opinions... so her eyes fluttered shut.
“Now, I want you to trust me.” He stated, his hand moving closers to her so that his slender fingers were brushing her soft skin.
After a little nod the older man hesitated for a moment before leaning slowly in, his nose brushing against hers before he connected their lips in a tender kiss. His big hands stroking the skin of her neck, moving her hair out of the way.
The kiss wasn't quick but not even long, he parted slightly their lips after little time. Allowing his warm lips now to hovered over Y/n's for a moment more.
That particular action making her want to lean forward and kiss him senseless again. As her heart beat became faster and her breathing went heavy.
But then he stepped back... and she could feel the strange feeling of lack before he talker again “Open your eyes.”
Her student followed his instructions, gulping slowly as her gaze moved carefully up to meet his eyes... staring deeply into them.
Oppenheimer stared at her, waiting to see if she had any reaction to the kiss. The pale red lipstick on her lips was still vivid and seductive but a bit smudged. “Tell me something, Y/n." He asked in a weak voice.
She nodded slightly before answering, a deep breath created a kind of suspense "...Something".
A soft huff escaped her professor's mouth, his eyes filled with a soft glimpse of amusement “You’re being sassy now?” Oppenheimer said jokingly, his hand resting on her hip so that he could squeeze it softly.
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Taglist:
@gabile18 , @mrsfullbuster500 , @rex-ray , @elizamalfoyy, @eovjjj , @monkeyking-and-liuer-mate , @jeremiah-va1eska , @gothamchic16, @rabbiteggz , @dieg0brandos-wife , @rottenecstasy , @lazyexcuse , @teh-vampire-bunny , @lobotomy-lover , @slasher-smasher , @sleepycreativewriter , @mrkdvidal1989
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eu-nicola · 9 months
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Cillian Murphy as J Robert Oppenheimer x Student Reader
summary: you had met the man your friend was with but you certainly liked him too
warnings: Age-Gap / Infidelity
sorry english isn’t my first language
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You met him through one of your best friends, that day you were both in a meeting where he was also present, at first he didn’t call your attention and you didn’t even call his attention since at the end of that night your friend Jean was already sleeping with him. You weren’t interested in him at all and when she told you that she would keep you left the place and headed home.
Although you were a few years younger, in the same way, your intelligence and the curiosity that you felt for things that had not yet been discovered was what made you stand out, you loved to know and investigate, you had always been a curious person and there was nothing better than being the first and that made you work twice as hard, perhaps triple, to always discover new things. After that night you met Oppenheimer you began to spend more time with him sharing your theories and his.
It was interesting for him to see how you worried about things and how you saw what others didn’t, but apart from that nothing happened, sometimes you saw him go to Jean’s house to bring her flowers which she rejected asking him not to look for her more but actually she called him hoping he wouldn’t answer but as always he did. She was your friend but you knew the dependency she was creating for that man was as if she couldn’t breathe and needed him anyway but she wanted him to be there.
When Oppenheimer found out that he was going to be a father with another woman he was the first to tell Jean so that she would not find out from anyone else, at that moment they decided that despite this they would not separate but now she was so broken inside knowing that now he would get married that she didn’t know how to deal with it and was only left with the fact that at least she had him in some way.
During all that time you continued sharing your time with him and they even came to the conclusion of some things after testing the theories they shared, their minds worked as one and from there things came out that no one in this world could understand, only God.
Sometimes the line of professionalism seemed to disappear between both when you shared fleeting caresses or when he was so close to you that you could feel his breath on your skin, although there was a certain voice in your head that used to advise you, you didn’t listen to it and you liked this closeness that you had with him, feeling him close felt good and you wanted to experience more of this.
A month before his wife’s delivery you found out that he had told Jean that they were not coming back and that made you spend days with your friend until she recovered a bit, those days you had not seen Robert nor had you warned why you didn’t go, a week later when you came back you found out that all this time he had been calling you but since you weren’t at home you hadn’t been able to answer at any time. You’re glad to know that he cares about you even if he was strictly professional.
Now that Jean was not with him he seemed closer to you and it didn’t bother you, but that doesn’t mean that you felt good about what you were doing, you knew that you loved this man because of the way you connected but didn’t you knew if you should move on and get more from him or just stay where you were and accept the fact that you only worked together.
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youthereader · 7 months
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Near Zero part 1.
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pairing: cillian murphy as j. robert oppenheimer x fem!reader
summary: 2.8k words. Brought on as part of the Manhattan Project, your old physics professor sees you in a new light.
rating: eventually E (no smut in this part); age gap (10+ years), infidelity, period-typical sexism
a/n: Though based on real life characters, this is J. Robert Oppenheimer as played by Cillian Murphy, a fictional character. This is not intended to be historically accurate, merely written as entertainment. This is my first reader fic ever, so please be kind! Many thanks to @indulgence-be-thy-name for encouraging me and helping iron out wrinkled ideas.
part 2. 3.* 4. 5. 6.* 7.*
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When you see him now, he’s so different to the last time, but he’s unmistakably the same man. Now, he wears a broad hat and carries a pipe as he approaches you in the empty room.
“I was wondering when you would show up,” he says, and his smile opens him up completely.
He extends a hand as you rise to meet him. Your things are being sorted thoroughly somewhere out back, but you still hold onto your coat and matching pocketbook. Los Alamos feels like another world, so remote that you hadn’t expected the town to be built here, with roads and people swarming. It is a living, breathing thing you’ve somehow managed to stumble into, it feels.
“Dr. Oppenheimer,” you reply, shaking his hand. “I didn’t know if you were meeting me.”
“Wouldn’t want to miss it,” he replies, though he sounds distracted. “What do you know?”
Hardly any pleasantries, which you expected. In the years of knowing him, Dr. Oppenheimer didn’t get to know you as your professor, and certainly not as anything else outside of the classroom. You had not subscribed to the Cult of Oppie, and not necessarily out of choice.
Though there were women studying theoretical and experimental physics, they were few and far between. Since leaving high school, you had understood that to be taken seriously, you could not act like a man. The few friends you had in high school often teased you about your lack of grace, your ability to be covered in chalk dust at any given time, and your unwavering standoffish nature.
You belong in a think tank, not on a podium proclaiming these theories. You could work in a team, which was why you supposed your name came up for this.
“My country needs me,” you reply.
He smiles again, somewhat smaller. His eyes survey you a beat longer and you swallow, picturing your hair windswept and unruly from the train journey. You might smell of sweat, you hadn’t showered since yesterday and came straight here when you let yourself known to security.
“And your country will be glad to have you. Have a seat.”
He gestures to a desk and chair, waiting for you to sit. The silence stretches and you feel his eyes on you. You’re wearing your best dress and your nails match your lipstick. Though you were given little context about being summoned here, it felt like a job interview from the telegram you received a few days ago.
The last time he saw you, you dressed like someone that didn’t care about making a good impression.
To stamp down any nerves, you pluck your cigarettes case from your pocketbook, fishing one out. A lit match appears as you put a cigarette between your lips, Dr. Oppenheimer’s hand cupping the flame as you lean in.
“Mm, thank you,” you murmur. You exhale, watching as he pulls back, extinguishing it with a short puff of air.
He stares down at the burnt-out match for a couple seconds before he looks back at you again, his brows furrowing.
“This opportunity means reaching beyond what we have before scientifically,” he says, and you take another pull from your cigarette.
You speak around your smoke. “This is to do with Nazi weapons, isn’t it.”
“They split the atom,” he replies, and you nod. “And since you’re here, it means you’ve been cleared to be part of our great endeavour.”
The ‘our’ would be ‘his’ to a lot of people. You know better, having seen the hundreds of people outside.
“I need like-minded people,” he says.
You rub the tip of your thumb and forefinger together absently, frowning. You were the first to admit that you had very little in your life besides your work, and that hadn’t been plentiful since war broke out. Belatedly, it occurs to you that he’s referring to your intelligence.
“What could I contribute? I wasn’t one of your best.”
“You were,” he amends, lowering his voice a little. “You just didn’t participate outside of a school building. You were invited.”
Your eyes swing to meet his and you recall that Oppie reputation, that he was a womanizer underneath the genius. It never meant to be aimed towards you, that charm. Or so you assumed.
“I’m not the type to enjoy crowds,” you reply. “It’s a character flaw of mine.”
You were speaking just like your parents, the ones that had not encouraged you to pursue academia. Being a homemaker, someone with a reliable husband was what they wanted for you.
“Would you have come, if I asked you to, personally?” he asks.
His question throws you, and you stammer out: “N-now, or back then?”
“I asked for you both times,” he says.
For the first time, you blush. Hoping he ignores this, you smoke some more to clear your head. You had almost forgotten about his ability to make you flustered.
“If you asked me to come to a class party personally, I would have said yes,” you admit.
You dare to glance his way again, stomach flipping. So much for being a more polished version of yourself, you’re back to being mousey and strange under those intense eyes.
“That’s a pity,” he murmurs. “But I’m glad you’re here now.”
-
In the days and weeks to follow, it’s quickly made clear that there’s no leaving Los Alamos. Your residence is between a series of identical houses. The house itself is barely larger than your living quarters you remember from college. A cramped bedroom, a washroom, and a kitchenette. Nowhere to entertain to speak of, but it was still a privilege to have your own space. Your neighbors to your left are a young family of three, and to your right, there are two secretaries related to fellow scientists.
You keep to yourself. You opt for a long letter to your parents explaining very little about the new role here. You’re certain your letters are read by someone along the way for obvious reasons, and explaining it all tires you anyway.
Being a part of something as insular as this takes some adjusting to say the least. There is no escaping without being noticed, as there are guards all over. You overhear town gossip without meaning to; the tiny bubble you circle over and over is both thrilling and stifling. Everything feels pressurized in those first couple days in your new home especially. You sit on your new bed with your hands in your lap, cigarette perpetually lit in times like these.
You leave early the morning you’re expected in the department, unable to delay the inevitable any longer. You’re not the only one with this drive, walking into the main laboratory (a wide room with desks in rows with a blackboard at the back) to find several men already seated, chatting with one another.
You pause, waiting as their attention diverts to you. You recognize a few of them from professional acquaintance, whereas others you’ve only known by reputation. The air shifts, and you feel very out of place.
“Good morning,” you say, voice soft, controlled.
You wish to be invisible, which was why your clothes were far demurer than what you arrived in earlier that week. Admittedly, you did agonize over your hair for perhaps longer than necessary, but you’re glad you haven’t done childish braids or nothing at all. There’s a fine line to tread with these men; being attractive but not ostentatious is usually the aim. From what you’ve learned over the years, not caring about your appearance tends to backfire in terms of being taken seriously.
You don’t agree with any of this, of course. No-one should be judged on their appearance in terms of their intelligence or whether they’re worth listening to. Unfortunately, this is just the game you must play, especially in academia.
Your eyes catch various reactions, some eyes lighting up with recognition, others perplexed. Some might not have seen you in years and don’t remember you at all, which is fair. You never strove to be known; your work is what mattered.
A couple men come forward to shake your hand, pleased to see you. You ignore the way a few pairs of eyes dip to your exposed ankles. You’re scanned and assessed, and whether you’re found wanting is forgotten, for you feel the touch of someone’s hand on your arm and turn your head towards the source.
“Oppie. Back in one piece!” someone calls out.
You stare at the side of Dr. Oppenheimer’s face, your arm burning from where he touched you to slip past. Had he been that close behind you on your way there? You don’t think you could have missed him, though you were preoccupied with your thoughts.
“Yes. Well rested and ready to get back to work,” he replies, striding towards the front.
He doesn’t look your way, doesn’t acknowledge you in the slightest, which is fine. It’s not out of the ordinary, and so you sit down on the edge of the group, ankles together under your desk.
“Oppie the Rancher, I don’t see it.”
You can. His hat reminds you of a frontiersman. You can picture him staring out across the desert on his horse, reins in hand.
“A night under the stars can do wonders for your mind, Richard,” Oppenheimer retorts, pointing with his pipe. “You should try it sometime.”
The men banter and you sink into your observer role with ease. At least they’re not acting that differently with a woman present. As more people fill the room, you relax into your chair with your notebook and pen at the ready.
You stand as Dr. Bethe enters, shaking his hand. You will report to him, the head of the theoretical division. Once he takes a seat, the noise dissipates, and Oppenheimer launches into the meeting.
You will have to play catch-up for some time, but it’s not altogether intimidating. You know you can dedicate all your time to this, since you have no family staying here.
-
Days are spent with your head full of equations. You drink cups of drip coffee over and over, and ashtrays are filled and emptied. You are among a team of theorists assigned to a specific task by Bethe, whose own intellect is dedicated to your cause.
The goal is to solve the issue of nitrogen fusing into magnesium, or, to understand the probability of the nitrogen atoms fusing. There isn’t data on this, and so you must calculate for this occurring every time a fission bomb would detonate. Every time, there is a chance that the bomb would cause a chain reaction.
You write out the calculations like everyone else, and each conclusion is the same. There is a chance that the atmosphere itself may ignite.
Everyone else begs for rest, but your mind won’t give you relief. You chain smoke, standing in front of the blackboard with your chalk aloft, as the world darkens around you. You ignore your rumbling stomach, finishing the calculation again with a short sigh. Stepping back, you hear:
“What are you doing here?”
You turn your head to see Oppenheimer standing by the doorway, lips parting at the sight of your face, his hat in his hand. He walks over, glancing at the board behind you.
“It’s the same,” he says, eyes darting left to right.
“I’ve done this ten times,” you murmur. “Theory always leaves near zero chance of catastrophe.”
“Near zero,” he repeats, pulling in a breath. “Yes, I know.”
The weight of this is as much a reality to you as a theory, since this isn’t a classroom back in California, but a laboratory equipped with hundreds of scientific minds all working to build the same weapon. There are marbles representing very real plutonium in the fishbowl six feet away from you.
“I don’t wish to be an alarmist,” you add.
He looks at you again, eyes dipping to your mouth, and you feel a stir beneath your navel. To your surprise, he gives a small smile, but it’s not condescending. You’ve seen him give those out plenty before but have yet to receive one yourself.
“Your fears are valid, though not entirely necessary,” he murmurs. “I just got back from Michigan. I left in a panic about theory. But theory can only take you so far.”
You recall not seeing him for a couple days, though you are prone to missing others when you’re stuck in your own head. Oppenheimer is the exception, always.
He moves to lean against the desk beside you and you follow him, perching yourself at the edge as he looks down at his hat.
“I needed to speak to Compton about the potential chain reaction, of course there’s no possibility of speaking about it on the telephone-”
“So, you took a train all the way to see him?” you ask, and he nods. “But now you seem calm.”
“Not calm,” he says, though his voice is level. “More understanding that there’s a 3-in-a-million chance of total apocalypse.”
Those chances, though conceptually low, are not non-existent. You watch as he glances up at you once more, the air leaving the room. His eyes implore you.
“Near zero.”
“Near zero,” he echoes, his voice a near whisper. He places his hat back on his head.
You push off the desk and pick up the eraser, beginning to wipe the board clean of your calculations. When you finish, you look over at him again, frowning.
“If you’re more understanding, why are you here?”
It’s possible he didn’t go home because he needed to work this all out, like you. He keeps staring back at you, intimidating you as always, causing heat to rise at the back of your neck. In the low light, you hope it’s undetectable.
“The light was on. I saw you through the window.”
You swallow, ducking your head. “Oh.”
You place the eraser back on the ledge, and the space between you seems to shrink though neither of you move. You might be imagining the way he takes you in. He’s the director, and he has valid concerns for his staff.
But you’re no fool. His gaze is too familiar, especially when he nods at you, saying:
“Grab your things. I’ll work you out.”
You obey, following him out, switching off the light along the way. As you walk together down the halls, your footsteps echoing, you smell him beside you. He is tobacco, and body odour. Nothing sharp or unpleasant, but intimate, a semi-sweet musk. You smell the dust on his jacket and think of him sitting astride his horse with that thousand-yard stare.
You exit the building with nods to the guards, bringing you back to the present. You don’t want to leave him there in the street, but his residence is nowhere near yours as far as you know. You think of his wife, not for the first time, and wonder what he tells her about what they’re doing here.
“I’m this way,” you murmur.
Oppenheimer doesn’t respond how you expect, walking beside you for a few minutes instead of leaving you to find your way home alone. The silence between you in companionable, not strained, which feels like a miracle to you. From memory, he has never been someone you had a poor encounter with. It feels like a fluke, but statistically, it makes sense.
Your head still reels with equations, probabilities, and dire consequences. The chances of sleeping are so low, but you still wish him goodnight when you arrive at your residence.
There are people in the street, some glancing your way, seeing him and wave. He lifts a hand but doesn’t greet them further. He waits, watching you try to figure out how to leave him.
“Try to sleep.”
“I don’t know how likely that is,” you admit, turning back to him.
His hands are on his hips, and he smiles knowingly.
“I need you sharp tomorrow.”
You stand so close to one another now that his voice is low, the intimacy of the moment spreading over you.
“You’re no longer Sisyphus, you can rest.”
You think about pointing out the hypocrisy of this. You doubt he finds it easy to sleep at night, under the stars or otherwise.
“I think it’s more like the incy wincy spider,” you say, emboldened by his proximity to you. “Not quite as tragic.”
He chuckles and you smile back at him. He steps back, nodding a little. “Have a good night.”
He waits for you to go to your door, and you open it, glancing back at him for a moment. His smile returns, an understanding shade to his eyes.
“Remember the sun comes out again,” he calls.
He takes off, and you shut the front door behind you, leaning your forehead against it as you exhale.
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Thank you for reading! 🖤 Likes, reblogs and replies are always appreciated and genuinely motivate me. 🥺
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ourladyofoldgotham · 6 months
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nightfall
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j. robert oppenheimer x female reader
implied adultery, set during manhattan project
prompt by @forgottenpeakywriter
1.1k words
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summary
You meet the illustrious Dr. Oppenheimer at the Los Alamos Christmas party. He asks you for a dance.
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Los Alamos isn’t a socialite’s paradise, but looking around Fuller Lodge decorated for the annual personnel Christmas party, they almost could have fooled you.
A band was playing - turns out Los Alamos had a lot more musicians than you had thought - and the soft bustle of the room’s chatter rises up to the tinsel garland draped over the ceiling’s wooden beams. The electricity was always down in the evenings, and the water from the tanker trucks was in short supply, but for tonight, candles and liquor more than made up for it. 
You see him from across the room, standing at the counter. Doctor Oppenheimer is not a particularly loud man, nor a particularly imposing one. Still, there’s an air about him that seems to draw people in. He looks up and meets your gaze from across the room, and his blue eyes in the low light strike you like a bullet. You’ve heard about a million stories about him in the time that you’ve been here - you’ve heard he’s a genius of the highest degree, of course, but that’s practically a given. According to the rumors that flew through the town, he was also a Communist, a millionaire, a homewrecker, and a man that had left a trail of cultish devotion behind him in every university doing any real work in theoretical physics everywhere from Cambridge to California. You hadn’t believed a word of him until you’d met him in person. He seemed to be around every corner, in every lab, his brilliance the undercurrent at every turn. There was a sort of hypnotism that surrounded him, something that you had never seen before. You, like all the rest, were only human. Nobody could help falling under its spell. In the crowd, you lose sight of him.
It’s not until the night starts to draw to a close that you encounter him again. He startles you, tapping you on the shoulder. The light is low, scattering dim light across the wooden floor. The band plays some soft, pretty jazz tune you’re sure you’ve heard before. 
“Are you new to the Hill? I don’t think I recognize you.”
He extends his hand to you, and you shake it. 
“J. Robert Oppenheimer. I’m not sure we’ve had a chance to meet.”
You introduce yourself and his eyes glimmer with a slight touch of recollection. 
“I recognize that last name. Were you at Berkley? Caltech?”
You laugh and shake your head. 
“No, you must be thinking of my husband. He was one of Professor Lawrence’s graduate students there.”
“Of course. I don’t think I could have forgotten a face like that.”
He smiles at you over the rim of his glass. 
“Let me make you a drink.” 
You lean against the edge of the counter as you watch him make a martini, rimmed in lime and honey with extra gin. 
“So where did you go to school? I know your husband works in the E-5 group, but I could swear I’ve seen you in the labs.”
“Harvard - for chemistry, summa cum laude. I wasn’t able to complete my master’s, though - we moved out here just a couple months before I would have finished. I worked under Hornig in plutonium chemistry as a lab assistant for a while, but now I’m just a courier in the library group.”
“Ah, one of Lilli’s plutonium girls. It’s important work you do, you know.”
“What, to drive back and forth from a mailbox all day with a suitcase of old books locked to my wrist like a pack mule?”
He laughs in a way that’s almost disarming, the charismatic Oppie of legend. 
“A pack mule with one of the highest military security clearance levels in the country. It has to count for something.”
He hands you your drink. It’s strong, almost dizzying in the high altitude of top of the cocktails you’d already had. He’s quiet for a moment, his eyes studying you with an emotion you can’t quite decipher.
“Do you recognize this song?”
You shake your head.
“I’m certain I’ve heard it before, but I can’t quite place my finger on it.”
“Ah, of course. It’s quite popular, but it’s not as in vogue as it used to be. It’s called Nightfall - by Benny Carter. I saw him play live once, under Henderson at the Roseland in New York. Quite brilliant men, actually - I believe Henderson was a graduate student at Columbia in chemistry briefly.”
He pauses again, considering something. His eyes flit across the diamond ring on your finger as it wraps around the stem of your glass.
“Has your husband gone home yet? I don’t see him anywhere.”
“Oh, yes, doctor. Hours ago. He doesn’t dance - and he figured I could make it back home on my own.”
“I see. Do you? Dance, I mean.”
“When I can - which hasn’t been often lately. And where is Mrs. Oppenheimer tonight?”
“She’s… She’s visiting her family in Pennsylvania. Los Alamos has never suited her.”
You watch him rub the silver wedding band on his finger, a sudden flash of tension skimming across his face. 
“And what about you? Do you dance, Dr. Oppenheimer?”
The question snaps him out of his reverie, and he smiles softly. 
“Please, call me Robert. And as a matter of fact, I do. May I have the pleasure of this one?”
He extends his hand to you, and you take it. 
“You may.”
He leads you out to the dance floor. He’s old-fashioned, almost gentlemanly - his hand rests delicately on your waist, in classic ballroom fashion. The two of you are practically the only people in the room, now - he leads you in a slow foxtrot around the room. There’s something soft in his eyes when he looks into yours that makes you feel like the only woman in the world.
When the last note of the song rings out, the two of you are standing in the center of the floor. Your head rests on his shoulder, your clasped hands pulled in close. His hand is warm on your waist through the thin fabric of your dress. 
It’s hardly the picture of propriety. The scandal of an affair between the two of you would be enormous. Somehow, you can’t bring yourself to care. Not now - not with him, dancing like this in the cool desert night. The rising moon drips silver light across the floor. With a flick of his hand, Robert signals to the band for just one more song.
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couldn't resist the chance to flex my very minor jazz knowledge
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s3xyhorrorlvr · 8 months
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made these 🤷🏻‍♀️
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rosiemarieyn · 18 days
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Taglist !!
|| Please do leave a comment if you'd like to be in my taglist !! No specific genre, but if you'd like I can also do that (ex: tagging you under a fluff post) you can also dm me, I don't mind <3 ||
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mythos-writes · 9 months
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Welcome Home
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Cillian Murphy x wife! Reader
Plot: Cillian was scheduled to come home after filming. When he walked through the door (Y/N) was quite shocked at what she saw…
Word Count: 918
Warning: suggested sexual themes (No spoilers) This is a work of fiction
I saw Oppenheimer the other night and, omg I hope everyone who took part in making it is proud of this film.
Masterlist
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It was the final weeks of filming Christopher Nolen's newest movie, Oppenheimer. It had been months since (Y/N) and Cillian had seen each other face to face, and she was ready to see him in the flesh. They saw eachother for a little bit between the ending filming of Peaky Blinders and before he left for Oppenheimer. She had flown out to set early into the filming of the movie. Then life got in the way and the only way that they could see and hear each other was through Facetime and phone calls. 
She had been baking all day, and as it turned into the afternoon, she knew she needed to start on dinner. (Y/N) started prepping for one of Cillian’s favourite dishes, when she heard the door unlock and open. A shuffle of suitcases and shoes is heard from the entranceway of the home.
“(Y/N)? Are you home?” Cillian’s voice rings through their shared home. 
She quickly finished up what she was cutting, and whipped her hands on her pants before running out of the kitchen to meet him. 
“Cill, oh how I’ve missed you,” she says before jumping into his arms, squeezing him as she hugged him. 
“Oh I’ve missed you too love,” he replies, squeezing her just as hard. They latched onto eachother and didn’t want to let go. When they finally let go of each other, she saw how much weight he had lost. She knew he was gonna lose some weight for the role, but she didn’t think he was gonna change that much. 
“What is it?” he asks, a little worried at (Y/N)’s silence. 
“I didn’t think you would lose so much weight,” she states. He was always fit and skinny but for his role as J. Robert Oppenheimer, he needed to lose some of the Tommy shape that he had come accustomed to over the years.
“Don’t worry love, Tommy is still here,” he says jokingly in his signature Birmingham accent. She rolls her eyes before dragging him to the bedroom. When they entered the room Cillian brought her into a deep kiss. (Y/N) tugged on his shirt, wanting it off. He gently pushes her onto the bed, giving him a chance to take it off. 
“You take a shower and a nap. I’ll come wake you when dinner is ready,” she says while placing one last kiss on his lips. He didn’t let go quite yet. 
“I love you,” he says as he studied his wife and placed a few kisses along her jaw and neck before letting her go. 
“I love you too,” she replies before leaving the bedroom. 
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A few hours later, (Y/N) had finished cooking and plated everything for the two of them. She cleaned up a little, before walking back up to the bedroom to see hopefully her sleeping husband. She slowly opened the door, revealing a sleeping Cillian. His hair was still wet, revealing that he did have a shower. 
She walked over to his side of the bed, sitting beside him. He slightly moved, but that was because of the sinking of the bed. She leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek.
Nothing.
Wow, he must be in a deep sleep she thought before placing a few more kisses across his face. He moved a little, but his eyes didn’t open. (Y/N) then got an idea that would truly get him up. She got up and maneuvered herself to lie on top of her husband. He let out a groan at the new weight that was added onto him. She knew he was awake now. 
“Come on babe, it is time to get up,” she whispers in his ear. He moved his head to face her, which made her laugh.
Somehow he wrapped his arms around her and wrestled her underneath him. Cillian hovers over her, sleep still clear over his features. 
“Dinner is ready,” she says with a smile. He just shakes his head before lowering himself onto her, repaying the favour that she just did. She groaned when the full weight of him was felt. 
“Cillian, come on. Dinner is getting cold,” she states, trying to not let him fall asleep again. 
“We have a microwave for a reason love,” he rebuttals, getting comfortable on her stomach. She sighed knowing he had won this round. (Y/N) adjusted herself before playing with his damp curly hair. When he was away, she missed these small moments that they shared. Leaving the hustle and bustle of everyday life and the crazy filming schedule Cillian would have to navigate. But in these moments everything goes away. It was their escape from reality for a little while. 
“I love you so much Cillian,” she says before placing a kiss on the crown of his head. He looked up at her and returned the kiss on her sternum. 
“I love you so much more, (Y/N),” he replies. He placed another kiss on her stomach before closing his eyes again. 
“Welcome home,” she replies quietly before going back to playing with his hair, soothing him back to sleep. Leaving their dinner to cool, and to be reheated later.
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floralcyanide · 9 months
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queenshelby · 9 months
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Chemical Reactions (P. 2)
Pairing: Cillian Murphy as J Robert Oppenheimer x Student Reader
Warning: Smut in later parts, Age-Gap, Infidelity
Words: 1,867
Note: The fic is spoiler free and fantasy.
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Later that day…
In the lavatory, you inspected your appearance for a moment. You were wearing an embroidered peasant blouse paired with a plain cardigan, a dark coloured skirt and a set of comfortable shoes. Your hair was pulled back in a random clip which, for the meeting with Dr Oppenheimer, you decided to remove. You looked much better with your hair being open and, just as you looked at yourself again, you felt a pang of anxiety, wondering what Dr Oppenheimer was truly thinking of you.
Did he think that you were smart and worthy his attention or did he simply took pity in you because you were a woman?
You then scrunched your eyebrows after a second of thought and adjusted your bag on your shoulder to prepare to face the beast.
For some reason, this man intimidated you and that also, somewhat, aroused you which was a combination of feelings that you never felt before.
Thus, almost hesitantly, you arrived at the lecture room at around 5 o’clock, which was almost thirty minutes after your last class for the day had finished and, when you walked into the somewhat dingy room, you saw him, standing there, looking at am array of calculations.
"You are late” Dr Oppenheimer then remarked without even looking at you at first before, finally, turning around.
"You didn't actually give me a time..."  you began to say as you walked towards him and watched him furrow his eyebrows.
“No, I suppose I didn’t” Dr Oppenheimer acknowledged before turning the chalkboard over so that you could not see his writing and calculations at all.
“Have you figured the problem with your calculation yet?” you asked almost bluntly as, awkwardly, you stood in front of him. Your lab coat was draped over your left forearm while your right hand held your bag's strap to your shoulder.
You kept your eyes forward, directly in line with where his neck met his chest before looking up into his deep blue eyes which, by this point, were full of questions.
“Who says that there is a problem with my calculations?” Dr Oppenheimer then asked almost out of the blue and a short moment passed before he took your coat and bag from your hands, laying them on the nearest table.
“I think that you took a wrong turn somewhere and…” you began to stammer just before released the nervous breath which you did not realise you were holding until he began to speak again.
“Sit, please” he gestured and, just after you complied with his request and sat down in front of his large wooden desk, you could feel Dr Oppenheimer’s presence next to you.
“Do you have a pen and some paper?” you asked and, of course, he did.
“Of course” Dr Oppenheimer said as he placed two white pieces of paper and a freshly sharpened pencil in front of you.
“Now, please show me your calculations” he then said while he stepped back but, even though he decided to give him some space, you could see him out of the corner of your eye, watching you as you worked.
You wrote down formula after formula, directly from your head and whilst this was nothing but theory, you imagined every single reaction in the back of your mind.
You were fast and Dr Oppenheimer’s mouth hung open as he watched you work, focusing intently to be sure that it all made sense until, suddenly, your mind went blank. The proximity was making you hot and you felt yourself burning up under your blouse.
“That’s it?” Dr Oppenheimer thus asked and you shook your head.
“I just lost my train of thought, again…” you said, sounding like an idiot, causing the professor to chuckle.
“Am I making you nervous?” he then asked and, as if you had not already embarrassed yourself enough, you nodded somewhat dumbfounded.
“Right. My apologies. I will just take a seat next to you” he then said before pulling another chair to the table and sitting down right next to you which did not make this situation any better whatsoever.
Of course, he was no longer towering over you, but he was now much closer to you than he was before, acting and behaving almost like an equal.
“Go on then” he said, wanting to resume your work while the heat of his body began to burn you. You squirmed uncomfortably on your stool until you had to put the pen down to take off your cardigan which, by this point, was still partially covering your blouse.
"What is it?” Dr Oppenheimer then asked somewhat concerned but you shook it off.
"Nothing, I am just hot" you said plainly before taking in a deep breath and resuming your calculations which is also when Dr Oppenheimer became more interested in again and decided that he needed a better view.
You were now getting to the point of where you assumed he made a mistake and he was intrigued by the route you were taking in your formula.
“Explain it to me” he demanded, wanting to know why you are calculating the chemical reaction in the way you were and you had no problem telling him, in scientific terms, as to how you arrived at your conclusions.
As such, you talked and talked while squirming around until, eventually, you got back into position and wrote down another formula, which was one Dr Oppenheimer had not considered before and, just as you placed pen on paper again, you felt something touch your neck. Not soft enough to be hair brushing your neck, but not enough pressure to feel entirely deliberate.
“You aren’t even looking?” you then said as you otherwise stayed completely still when felt Dr Oppenheimer adjust your twisted necklace.
“Because you did it wrong” he responded as he picked up the chain and turned the jewellery until the clasp is on the back, where he dropped it back onto the nape of your neck. If you did not know better, you would have thought you felt his fingertips linger a little longer on your skin than they should have lingered there, but you could not be too sure.
“I did? How?” you asked while thinking about the science as well as how his fingertips felt on you, raising goosebumps on your bare skin. Him moving your necklace would have been harmless and platonic if it was not for that hesitation at the end of the action. The half a second too long that his hand remained on you, brushing lightly at the skin on the side of your neck.
“Allow me” the professor then said before taring up one of your pages and giving a plain piece of paper to write on.
He then took the pen from your hand and wrote down what you had written until you took this wrong turn in your calculations, which is where he halted and prompted you to think.
“Think about implosion, not explosion” he said and, almost immediately, the penny dropped and you gently grabbed the end of the pencil he was holding while making sure to let one finger feather a touch onto one of his.
"May I?" you say quietly, feeling his eyes on the side of your face as you looked at the pencil. The whole exchange only lasted a couple of seconds before he released the utensil and you leaned down over the paper while letting your shoulder brush his.
"Is that right now?" you then asked innocently after finishing the formula, turning to look at him as you gauged his reaction. This was the first time you had really looked at him since he first started explaining where you went wrong, and you were not sure what you expected, but it was not this.
Dr Oppenheimer only had his left hand resting on the table now, his chest turned towards you as he searched your face and smiled. You smiled back and held his gaze, trying to think of something to break the moment while keeping the upper hand.
“I am impressed but…” he then began to say and, instead of saying anything to him in response, you remembered the pencil you were holding and quickly moved to hold it between you and him. Without looking at it, he reached forward and covered your hand with his, those blue eyes on the verge of pouring into you. He then slid the pencil out of your hand and leaned down one more time, changing one of your subtraction signs to an addition. In your mind, you honed in on the mistake, cursing his distraction for causing you to make a mistake in front of him.
"Now, you're perfect" Dr Oppenheimer then said nonchalantly as he stood back up.
“Hmm” you stammered while trying not to react to his comment, or the fact that he used your own tactics against you.
Considering the moment gone, you picked up the paper and retreated in order to quickly get out of there as you could not help but think that you made things almost awkward now. Not only did you have more questions now than you did previously, you feared you may have moved you both in a direction that bordered on inappropriateness.
Obviously, you were flirting with him and he was a married man in respect of whom you got no read on when it came to his intentions towards you, because you were so consumed by the moment. You were consumed to his body's reaction to yours, his eyes, his parting comment, saying that “now you’re perfect”…
You then recalled the moments when you feared that your cover was blown, that he caught on to what you were doing, namely flirting with him. Part of you hoped that he thought he was flattering himself, similar to how you have been feeling, but something about this man told you he scarcely denied his ego satisfaction.
To be continued…
Please comment and engage. I love getting comments and predictions pretty please!
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weirdworldofwinnie · 9 months
Text
Heat of the Moment - One Night Passion
Cillian Murphy as J. Robert Oppenheimer x Female Reader NSFW 18+ only, One shot
Summary: You, a young psychology student and friend of Jean Tatlock, drink a little too much at a Communist gathering and find yourself falling for the esteemed Dr. Oppenheimer himself.
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Word Count: 3,830
Warnings: Age gap, Cheating, Drunkenness, Loss of virginity, Unprotected sex, Smut with little plot
Disclaimer: this is ONLY intended to be based on Cillian Murphy's portrayal of Oppenheimer in the film and takes place before he marries Kitty, moves to Los Alamos, and the development of the Trinity Test bomb. NOT historically or scientifically accurate and not supposed to be in support of the real man's life actions at all. DNI if you are uncomfortable or take issue with this. It is purely for entertainment purposes, and it is fantasy/fiction!
The party was brimming with people, many being prominent due-payers of the Communist party and you met your friend Jean's eye across the room through the warm glow and haze of cigarettes. She was standing with a few men and one woman as you approached, noticing one well dressed man in particular who had his back to you and you felt your heart involuntarily stutter when he turned, his wide strikingly blue eyes on you intensely. You swallowed and then Jean introduced you and he simply nodded with an amicable smile before turning back to the others in their discussion huddle. You were at bit surprised at his dismissiveness, but didn't take it too personally as you drifted over to get a drink from the bar area. Holding a full cocktail glass, you casually observed the room, noticing at once how Dr. Oppenheimer had one of those magnetic personalities, as long as you were an intellectual (although he was a good enough speaker that he could capture the attention of the common man and likely even someone who knew absolutely nothing about physics), yet at the same time he tended to eclipse everyone else around him. They all seemed to orbit around him in a fashion and the longer the night drew on, you too found yourself drawn to his quiet charisma and you now were seeing what Jean saw in him. After an hour of drinking and mingling around in various conversations, you mustered up the nerve to approach his ring again and stood next to your friend with only a couple other people you didn't know chatting to him about his teaching at Berkeley. He glanced at you, his eyes lighting with more interest than the initial impression.
"Hello again, Miss Y/N. Excuse me," he told the others and moved, breaking their circle to focus on you alone.
"Would you like a drink?" he asked politely but without waiting for an answer, he went to personally make a martini himself and then pour it into a crystal glass, topping it with a slice of lime. You were empty handed at the moment, but neglected to tell him you'd already had two glasses of alcohol already. He gave the filled glass to you, his fingers brushing your wrist as he did and you thanked him as he leaned against the counter with his own drink that almost mirrored yours.
"It's my preferential recipe. Do you like it?" he asked curiously as you drank and decided it tasted a bit bitter and tangy, so you just raised your eyebrows and smiled assuredly with what you thought was a convincing nod, however, he must have seen otherwise.
"Too bitter, isn't it? I'm working on it; it would probably be better off with a dash of honey." He raised his glass and suddenly swapped it with yours, taking a sip and giving a satisfied expression.
"Hmm, right. I'll remedy it and I do apologize, I was actually just testing you there for your opinion. I'll have this one, you enjoy mine instead."
Unsure of whether you should be flattered or not, you drank his original and it was more appeasing of your sweet tooth, and then he proceeded to ask you about what you were currently studying and how long you knew Jean.
You gave him simple answers at first, feeling a bit shy and guarded compared to the spotlight he projected. He was far from being a loud, obnoxious man but he wasn't timid in the slightest when it came knowledge and he gave off an air of aloofness and professionalism that slowly broke the more you opened up about psychology and politics while making it clear to him you considered yourself a somewhat free spirit trying to make your way in a predominantly male run world. It was refreshing to you that he actually sincerely listened and wasn't too condescending like other men you had encountered in the field.
"Interesting. Have you considered applying that to a career for the future, I assume you are aiming for a psychology degree? Or is it a base point to advance you into becoming a psychiatrist? I'm sure you would be able use medicine in addition to your Freudian theories to mitigate such deep mental issues."
"Well, to tell you the truth, I'm only my second year in for psychology and I doubt my father will pay for addition schooling on top of that, but theoretically yes, I would love to. It's my passion and I have a prudent desire to assist others, not just study them under a detached microscopic lens, so to speak. I want to help people understand who they are and I myself want to understand why their brains work the way that they do. And if some disorders could be cured with certain drugs when all else fails, I would consider that a great accomplishment for humanitarian progress."
"That certainly is a valuable asset, to understand one's self, and especially in this rapidly complicated changing world and the more we have a stronger grasp of the human mind, the better off we will be I suppose. But remember, to know is to do. Theory will only take you so far."
You nodded, soaking that in and taking an ample sip from the drink, which was spurring you on in confidence, so you began to ramble on about the damaging psychological impacts of war before jumping to the effects of practical versus ideological Communism on modern society... at least until a young man interrupted, joining the two of you for a while and you let Oppenheimer divert his attention to him instead as they delved into more physics, which you honestly only had a basic understanding of. You drained down the rest of the martini, refilling it with a simple gin instead to sip more than you should and you definitely were feeling tipsy as the evening wore on to a close, hovering by Oppenheimer's side constantly and perhaps even unconsciously flirting while ignoring Jean's stares from several feet away. He wasn't paying attention at the moment, so you turned to set down your empty glass, but stumbled into a stool on the way. You spun around, feeling Dr. Oppenheimer place a hand on your shoulder, steadying you.
"Perhaps you should retire for the night," he advised softly, close to your ear.
"No… I'm fine," you insisted, the heat rising to your cheeks as he took your shaky hand and you caught Jean giving you one last glare before she disappeared into a murky corner of the room. You looked back to him staring at you concernedly and you blinked as he spoke quietly.
"There, now where are you staying? Surely it can't be far, I'll take you home."
"N-No, my apartment's the next town over and you don't have to, I-I think I'll be okay..." you stammered absurdly and wavered on your feet, not the least bit sober. He changed direction, pivoting to catch you under your arms, and propping you up straighter.
"I believe there is a spare bedroom upstairs, I'll take you to it." Without another word, he led you out of the room and tottering up creaky stairs that led to an upper floor. A few doors down, he took you into an empty small stuffy room with a single queen bed. As you collapsed onto it, sighing deeply after a hiccup, he brushed aside the beige curtains and opened the window, letting the cool night air flicker through.
"Stay here, I'll be right back with some water," he said and exited for a few minutes, coming back shortly with two glasses of water in his hands, one for himself that he took a careful gulp from and you found yourself wondering if his mouth was dry or if he could be nervous. You accepted your cold glass and drank, washing down the strong mix of cocktails and gin taste from your tongue.
"A bit better?" he asked kindly, getting a nod in return as he took the glass from you and set it down on the bedside table next to his own. You watched as he stepped over and stood in front of the window, rustling the curtains. He stayed still there for a while in a pondering pose, smoking and staring out at the street below, presumably lost in thought as he often was. You made a sort of groaning noise and he turned, hand on his hip with a raise of his eyebrows.
"Are you going to be sick? Should I call for someone?"
"No!" you gasped, sitting up with a swirl of the room as he strode over to the door. You did not need your parents to find out about this, especially your father.
"Wait - Please don't leave," you begged and he hesitantly came over, abandoning his cigarette in the ash tray on the nightstand next to the glasses of water and sitting down, getting a good look at your bloodshot eyes and tousled hair, a few strands obscuring your vision. He gently took his hand and wiped the hairs off to the side of your face, his touch on your flushed cheek sending shivers up your spine. He leaned back, putting his hands on his knees and you let out a shaky breath, trying to reorient.
"Have you ever drank before?" he inquired knowingly and you laughed weakly.
"Of course I have."
"I'm afraid that you overdid it this time or otherwise you must have a low tolerance. I only offered you one drink after all." He held up his right hand, splaying his fingers apart.
"How many do you see?" he asked seriously and you only giggled, pushing his hand down.
"Five, maybe six? I feel finnee."
He shook his head, maybe amused, and you had the impulse to climb onto his lap, so you began to slide over, swinging your legs and scooting halfway onto his lap, making him blink in surprise and gasp slightly.
"What are you…?"
You shushed him and wrapped your arms seductively around his neck, resting your head on his shoulder with your ruby lips inches from his neck. He put his hand on your back uneasily and you whispered in his ear.
"Could you carry me to the bathroom?"
"I can't - What? Why?"
"I might be sick."
He pushed away, letting you slip off his slender body and sitting back onto the sheets with a light laugh.
"I think you should lie down again," he said firmly and you flumped your head onto the pillows, your face burning as he stood up, moving around to tug your feet out of your heels and then his hand caught, wrapping his fingers around your ankle and sending a sensation up your legs. You tilted forward, reading his oddly grim expression.
"What is it?"
"I should leave," he murmured, tossing the shoes to the floor and removing his hand reluctantly.
"You don't have to," you told him earnestly, struggling to grasp for him as he stayed at the end of the bed.
"You aren't in a normal state of mind, I'm afraid."
"Are you?"
"Not as much as I should be," he admitted with a sigh, knowing it would be inappropriate to sleep with Jean's friend that he had just met and it was unknown if you had a boyfriend or not.
"Well, I doon't caaare…" you slurred out and he went to sit on the bed next to you as you shifted, sitting up with your elbows. Dr. Oppenheimer gazed fondly and then you both began to instinctively lean into each other, his nose meeting yours and he tilted his head, giving you the incentive to lock lips and slide your tongue into his mouth, letting him reciprocate slowly until both parties pulled away, you panting excitedly.
This seemed to cause a chain reaction that had him scooting over closely so he was fully on the bed, loping his arms around at your back and you tugged at his black tie, wrestling with undoing it as he let go of you to shrug off his suit jacket and discard it, his breathing quickening. He slipped off his shoes and socks, dropping them over the bed with a clump before his fingers found the zipper on the back of your dress and he fumbled, forcing it down and letting it pool off your body to the sheets, running a hand over your bare skin. Pausing slightly with his hands nearing to unfastening your bra, he murmured urgently.
"Don't tell Jean about this."
"But she's my friend," you protested loudly and he put a finger to your lips with a 'shh' that made your heart palpitate.
"I don't want her to find out the hard way."
"She… She'll figure it out, right?"
"She may, but I don't want it to come from you. This is all my doing, I'll take the responsibility for my own actions, do you understand?"
"Oh yes, I do Mister J. Robert 'Oppie' Oppenheimer… What's the J stand for anyway?"
"Nothing important," he replied shortly and you reached to feel his bottom lip, smiling in curiosity.
"C'mon, tell me. Is it John, James, Joe...?"
He shook his head, closing his eyes and you laughed, tracing his defined cheekbones with your fingers.
"It's Julius," he admitted almost sheepishly and you cocked your head, cupping his chin.
"As in Julius Caesar?"
He wet his lips, the corners of his mouth twitching in annoyed amusement.
"Et tu, Miss Y/N?" He paused for a fraction of a second with a light sigh.
"Just call me Robert," he then told you and leaned in to kiss you again, caressing the sides of your face as he did so and you eagerly wound your tongue with his, passionately pressing into his face. He smelled heady; smoky and of aftershave mixed with some brand of cologne, not overpowering but enough to be noticed and mildly sting your nostrils when you went to mouth his neck.
He moved to hover over you, hands grazing your nearly naked body. You let him take the bra and he flung it over his shoulder to the floor and all that was left was your panties. You unbuttoned his light blue dress shirt and opened it up, stroking the light hairs on his chest as he fingered your panties, the last barrier to whatever was going to come into effect. Robert ran a single finger up along your abdomen and past to one of your breasts, circling the nipple and it hardened substantially at the stimulation, which he transferred over to the other one, teasingly fingering back and forth before he sank his face into your chest, his tongue trailing where his fingers had been and you whined, letting the budding arousal take you higher. Then he retracted his mouth, moving back and going to himself, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants, popping them open to reveal boxers concealing his burgeoning, bulging cock with tightening testicles. He wriggled out of his pants, kicking them away to hang off the side of the bed and he leaned over, coming to hover on top of you and you felt the pressing of the underwear fabric hiding his growing penis, and you felt inclined to slide your hands down to grope it, fingers yanking at the band around his waist.
"Go ahead, take it," he encouraged and you pulled the boxers down, seeing he was already dripping with precum and your breath came in pants, anxious to feel him, but the rational part of your alcohol tainted brain was reminding you that you'd never taken it this far with a man before. He shifted, supporting himself by pressing his palms to the cream colored plump pillow behind your head and immediately settling over to align. You felt him trying to enter, your clitoris throbbing with anticipation, but he wasn't successful at first of getting in.
"God, you are too tight," he muttered and you froze, staring up at him as Robert now realized the exact nature of you.
"First time ever?" he asked with trepidation and you nodded somewhat shamefully, embarrassed. It wasn't like you hadn't been with men before, but this was the first for it to get this far with full-on penetration. He closed his eyes for a second, controlling his patience for he wanted so desperately to come inside of you, but he had to ask.
"How old are you?"
"I - Is that important?"
"Just please tell me you're at least 21 and don't lie about it."
"Yes, I'm over 21."
"Alright. Well, there's a first time for everything. I'll go slower."
He shimmied down your naked body until his head was at your vagina and he put his hands up on your stomach, massaging vigorously into your skin, eliciting a tiny happy moan. You never felt this aroused around anyone before and just his hands on any part of your body was pleasurable, so you hoisted your hips up to meet his touch. But then he stopped abruptly, displaying two fingers and you squinted, body aching for more.
"How many I am holding up now?" he asked and a delirious giggle erupted from you.
"T-Two."
"Correct," he praised and promptly slid them up into your moist entry, causing you to cringe painfully and make a noise that made you clamp your own hand over your mouth, afraid the people downstairs might hear.
"How is that? Okay?" he asked in a hushed voice, anxious to go further and you just nodded, taking deep breaths.
You were now getting so wet and he started pumping his fingers in and out, eventually gaining traction with three in and you were whimpering and moaning, so close to orgasming when he pulled them all out and sat back on his haunches, his tongue flicking across his lips in a kind of hunger.
"Don't stop," you pleaded and Robert's eyes were dilated with desire as he came down, burrowing his head in-between your thighs, gripping your legs and kissing your pussy before lifting his head and looking at you squarely.
"Oh, I won't."
Without further ado, he repositioned himself over you and slowly pushed in, his cock breaking at your walls. You moaned, the pleasure outweighing the sharp pain and you clenched around his shaft, letting him penetrate as far as he could go into your core. Within moments, you let the orgasm ripple through you as he kept at it, coming to his own climax that wasn't going to be outside of you.
"Fuck, this feels good..." you breathed, rubbing your palms on Robert's short cut dark hair and he couldn't hold back any longer... exploding with his own euphoria, emitting a primal grunt that became a loud gasp. He pulled out wetly a few moments later, shuddering from the exertion and you reeled in what had just happened. You just had intercourse with this brilliant man… Oh God. And you didn't want it to stop; you weren't done yet.
You rolled over so you were on top of his body now and you carefully settled down so you were sitting on his upright swollen cock and the rubbing of it against your clit was making you close to orgasming for the second time.
"Stop," he gasped suddenly, trying to push you away.
"W-Why?"
"That's how she does it." He frowned, licking his lips and you didn't have to ask to know who he was talking about.
"Do you… like it?"
"Yes, of course, but-"
"Then I'm doing it, it feels good for me too," you told him with no arguments allowed and both of you began to rock back and forth, his still hardened dick pushing up against your vagina. He thrusted in again and you groaned, quivering.
"Oh, good girl," he whispered and you almost lost it at the tone of his slightly husky voice. You certainly never got that from the few men you'd courted briefly that had turned out to be too immature or pigheaded. This man actually felt like a real decent, more experienced man.
"Robert...!" you squealed, letting the boom of climaxing implode inside of you. You leaned back, letting him slide out and you gripped his slick dick mixed with fluids from both you and him, your nails very gently stroking it as he smiled, throwing his head back against the pillow in relaxation and pure joy.
You orgasmed a couple more times after that, each nearly as strong as the last which was new to you. What the hell was it about Robert that made your libido go off the charts?
Finally the two of you collapsed back together, staring up at the ceiling above in ecstasy. His chest was rising and falling in rhythm with yours and gradually your body cooled down, though your face still felt hot and a dull headache was coming on, but the night breeze from the window was making goosebumps pepper up on your skin.
"Cold?" Robert asked softly, noticing.
"Mm-hmm."
He sat up and grabbed his wrinkled boxers before deftly swinging a leg out of bed, getting up to the floor and yanking them back on. He also hastily snatched up his pants and slid back into them, not bothering to zip or buckle as he went over to the window and peered out once more at the street, then firmly shut it, closing the curtains securely and heading back over to the bed, lifting a corner of the sheets up and crawling in next to your bare body.
You scooted under the sheets and cuddled into his slim side, playfully fiddling with a button on his open shirt and letting him wrap an arm around you as you dozed off, listening to the faint ticking of his wristwatch, feeling utterly fucked out and exhausted. He fought his own fatigue, considering getting up and leaving you in case someone found the two of you up here, lest it be Jean, but you felt so cozy and close, he couldn't bear to disconnect and leave you alone for the night.
He wasn't entirely sure what would become of this drunken rendezvous encounter that you may not remember entirely, knowing very well it was likely he may never find himself loving you like this again. He loved Jean, he very much did, but he wondered if you would accept his flowers as easily as you had accepted his sex? Jean was most definitely a complicated, intelligent woman and he wasn't sure if you were in the same vein as her, but it wouldn't surprise him if you were. Was he drawn to any other type, really? Women were fascinating to explore, a close second to the hidden world of quantum physics.
Robert studied your pretty sleeping features in the dim lighting and then closed his eyes, letting the orange aura of the room drift the both of you away far off into nothingness…
(Thanks for reading and if you really liked this, please let me know! I'm rather new to Cillian Murphy and not well versed at all in writing one of his characters with smut, but there was just something I found so attractively compelling about him as Oppenheimer especially, so maybe this is a bit self-indulgent, but he's such a great actor that is also very sexy of course.❤️)
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your-nanas-house · 4 months
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Drabble: Cherry
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◇ Pairing: J. Robert Oppenheimer X secretary!Reader
◇ Warnings: dirty thinking, Y/n is a bit naughty, age gap (both off age), short smut, fluff.
◇ Summary: Oppie gets teased by his secretary who keeps trying to get his attention.
◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English. Also sorry if it took me so long, didn't watch Oppenheimer yet..sadly so I hope he's not too OOC. Requested by @forgottenpeakywriter. Tried my best.
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“Looking quite handsome today, sir” Y/n Y/l/n praised the older man with a soft smile on her face. He really looked pretty nice in her opinion… just like every other day.
“Oh… thank you, Y/n” Robert murmured as he looked away from the papers in front of him, deciding to take a small break just to focus on his secretary and the reason she was there.
“No need, sir… I brought you something to drink and eat” she informed him with her usual soft tone, leaning slowly down so that he could have a better view of her cleavage… which was deeper than usual.
Robert’s light eyes lowered slightly automatically, gazing at her chest with a soft blush on his face. He could already feel his heartbeat accelerating, his hands tickling a bit for the need and want to grab her someway.
It wasn’t the first time she played with his mind like that, trying anything to get his attention, starting from tight and short clothes which were still professional… to actions, like casually bending down when he could see, sticking her ass out or showing him her young breasts, teasingly covered by the fabric of her well chosen clothes. 
It was driving him crazy.
Robert didn’t exactly know how to react to her shameless attempts and actions to seek his full attention... attempts which sadly worked pretty well even though he was married. That’s what he always reminded him, trying not to fall into temptation again… imagine her younger body against his, her hips grinding and bouncing as her tight, probably virgin, pussy squeezed his needy cock.
“It’s pretty sweet” she stated, making his focus return back to her eyes “What?” the older man murmured, his light eyes piercing in hers as he noticed the soft rubbing of her thighs.
“The cupcake.. is pretty sweet. I think they called it popping cherry.. since it’s so good and it’s a cherry cupcake, sir” she whispered, biting her bottom lip before leaning carefully away to walk towards the door.
Robert’s eyes following the soft sway of her hips as his hand reached for the sweet “Enjoy, sir” Y/n whispered nearly sensually before leaving him alone in his office… again.
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Taglist:
@gabile18 , @mrsfullbuster500 , @rex-ray , @elizamalfoyy, @eovjjj @wife-of-magic-monkeys , @jeremiah-va1eska , @gothamchic16, @rabbiteggz , @dieg0brandos-wife , @rottenecstasy , @lazyexcuse , @teh-vampire-bunny , @lobotomy-lover , @slasher-smasher , @sleepycreativewriter , @mrkdvidal1989
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infinitegalahad · 8 months
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AMERICAN PROMETHEUS AND HIS ATHENA - EPILOGUE
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Pairing: J. Robert Oppenheimer x Female Indentifying! Reader Summary: Looking up at the chalkboard, you see him. He’s Dr.Oppenheimer, but to you, he’ll always be Robert or Oppie. Word Count: 2.7k Warnings: Warnings are very spoiler, so well...be warned! Cancer, death, alcoholism, mentions of suicide (not by main characters and is mentioned once at the end), and overall a very bittersweet ending. Beware! This is in fact sad! Notes: for real, the end? it's here. not going to lie, i did get a little emotional writing this. the epilogue is loosely inspired by american prometheus, which made me cry in it's epilogue, just as it is doing to me now. this story has been such a rollercoaster, and I've had an amazing time writing it. thank you all for the amazing support, you guys really rock. I'm starting school soo and I'll be busy, but I'll get back into writing once i find my routinr. i hope you can enjoy this conclusion, and as a warning, apologies in advance! I love you all very much, and thank you so much for all the love! Taglist: @forgottenpeakywriter @queenshelby @chloriine36 @kodzuvk @amanda08319 Taglist | Masterlist
Marriage Certificate
Jurisdiction: Charlottesville, Virginia
Certificate Number: MCS123456789
Date of Marriage: June 1st, 1955
This is to certify that on the aforementioned date, in accordance with the laws of the City of Charlottesville, the following individuals entered into marriage:
Groom:
Name: Julius Robert Oppenheimer
Date of Birth: April 22, 1904
Residence: 91 Olden Lane
Bride:
Name: (Y/n) (Y/m/n) (Y/l/n)
Date of Birth: (Y/dob), 1921
Residence: 105 Ivy Dr
Marriage Ceremony:
Date and Time: June 1st, 1955, at 5:00 PM
Officiant: Dr. Allen Hill
Title: Authorized Officiant
Witnesses:
Name: (y/b/n) (y/b/m/n) (y/l/n)
   Address: 10 Pennsylvania Avenue
Name: Hatomi Haruka Yamamoto-Bell
   Address: 600 Dittmar Oaks  
Under penalty of perjury, the undersigned parties declare that the information provided above is true and correct to the best of their knowledge.
Signatures:
_____________________________      _____________________________
Julius Robert Oppenheimer                (Y/n) (Y/m/n) (Y/L/N)
Groom's Signature                                     Bride's Signature
_____________________________
Dr. Allen Hill
Officiant's Signature
_____________________________      _____________________________
 (y/b/n) (y/b/m/n) (y/l/n)                              Hitomi Haruka Yamamoto-Bell
Witness's Signature                                Witness's Signature
Seal: City of Charlottesville, Virginia
You and Robert married the same day of your graduation at UVA on June 1st, 1955. You let your parents know about your marriage and plans to move to Princeton. It took them time to process that you married your Physics Professor, but they accepted it once they met Robert and were impressed. They also enjoyed that you were only a train ride away from the city of Princeton. 
Robert kept to his promise of no more games. He stayed loyal and steadfast and was honest and loving to you. He doted on and adored you, showering you with both affection and gifts. You had kept all of the gifts he had given you at Berkeley, occasionally using the new perfumes if you couldn’t look for all of the new floral scents Robert had bought for you. Despite you both being busy with your jobs at Princeton and the local private high school, you two found time for each other. 
Your time together reminded you of those Friday study sessions at Berkeley, where you were a young girl and Robert was your professor who had been struck by “one of the most beautiful creatures he had ever seen”. Robert had helped you become a woman, and despite how many times you and he tried to move, you always fell back to each other. 
With your newfound marriage, you and Robert could be in public together. Of course, there was scrutiny and controversy of the age gap and both of your involvement with the Manhattan project. Still, Robert could hold your hand, and you could lean on his shoulder. Sure, there stares, but those could easily be ignored. At the many lavish dinners you attend, Robert would put his hand on your hip and whisper into your ear nothing but sweet yet dirty thoughts. You’d look at all of the judgemental onlookers, and simply hugged Robert, brightly smiling at them. 
It was one of those nights. It was like your Friday nights, but extended; talking about the day full of academics, making a delicious dinner, cleaning up said dinner, fucking either by the fire or on the bed, and lazing in each other’s embrace. 
You had your back curled to Robert as he held you. That one night, he let go for a short second, before you felt a cold metal on your neck and the sound of a clink of a clasp. 
“I saw this, and it made me think of you and the Bhagavad Gita,” Robert explained as he moved your hair back forward, “Do you like it?”
The necklace was a short gold chain with a pendant of the seven Chakras. You run your hand hovering the expensive gold and gems inside, smiling to yourself. You turn to Robert and place a peck on his lips, admiring the beautiful necklace. 
“It’s beautiful, Robert. Thank you, thank you, thank you-”
You repeat this sentence over and over as you wrap your arms around his neck, throwing him down to the bed and decorating his body with kisses. Ultimately, the two of you end of lovemaking once again, and remind yourselves to rewash the sheets. Again. 
The next week, you are forced to rewash your sheets as Robert, per usual, fucks you after the University of Washington last minute declines his offer to speak at their commencement ceremony. Like old times, you claw your nails down his neck and scream his name until he finishes inside of you, making your belly feel all warm. You smile and hope, for once, there’s some good news for the future continuation of you and Robert.
It takes many tries, but on January 5th of 1958, you give birth to Thaïs Jackie Oppenheimer. She’s a healthy baby girl. You nearly died giving birth, but it was worth seeing her curl into Robert’s arms as if it were a natural instinct. Even as a child, she’s got the blue Oppenheimer’s eyes and your fiery personality. After Thaïs birth, you remained in the ICU for a while. In a window outside of your room, you would see Robert in the distance as he overlooked Thaïs bed, talking to her and promising her nothing but the world. In your recovering pain, it made you cry. 
Eventually, you returned back to work as a school-teacher, splitting your time with the au-pair while taking care of Thaïs. She’s a very vocal child, and like Robert, highly precocious. By the time she’s six, she can name every rock and flower in your garden by their scientific name. Not to mention, she can hold more basic conversation in Latin and Greek than you, thanks to Robert and his bedtime stories of Ancient Latin and Greek myths. 
Dinner is a family affair. As the three of you all cook, you find it hard to keep up with Robert and Thaïs’s long conversation that switches between Greek and Latin, ranging from what to next in meal prep, the rocks Thaïs’s collected at school today, and what toy Robert will buy her next if she behaves. You can follow the basics, but you smile and keep yourself, cooing and kissing your newborn baby boy, Elias. 
Each night, Robert worships you like you’re a goddess. As you read his book recommendations, he decorates your body with kisses and calls you his “temple”, thanking you for being the Athena to his Prometheus and giving him life. You could not be happier. 
But bliss is temporal, not everlasting. 
First, it’s the apparent hoarseness. Robert thinks it’s cold, but that’s until he’s coughing up blood two weeks later. Also, with the neck and ear pain, you grow worried, and unfortunately, your worst fears come to light. Robert’s heavy smoking did not help his case, and in late 1965, he was diagnosed with throat cancer. 
You had quit smoking a long time ago, long before the birth of your children, but Robert continued. Since you had met him, he had always been a smoker no matter what, falling from a cigarette pack to multiple pipes a day. The cancer is infectious and both of you know it’s in fact very bad, and it’s only going to continue to get worse but not fast, but slowly and painfully. Robert has a persistent cough in which he tries to hide from you and the children but fails to. His skin becomes as gray as his thinning hair, and he’s losing weight faster than you can count. 
After his diagnosis, there are many sleepless nights between you and Robert. You are both worried about each other in your own ways. One particular night, Robert sits on the edge of the bed. The bones in his back are visible, and you feel like you can see the bones in his back. He’s handsome, but so terribly sick all at once. Crawling from under the sheets, you quietly crawl toward him and hug him from behind. You sob into his shoulders, and he grabs your arms.
“Stop worrying,” He reassures you as he kisses your shaking palm, “You’ll be okay, love.”
“Robert, stop. It’s not about me. It’s about you,” You sob uncontrollably, “I’m scared, Robert. Not for you, for me.”
That night, Robert holds you and tells you that things will improve. He doesn’t promise it, though. 
In late 1966, Robert underwent surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy, which were all unsuccessful. 
Robert has done so much for you and protected you from so much. Now, it’s your turn to do so. 
When he breaks the news that, realistically, he’s going to die within the next six months, you and his plan to bring Thaïs and Elias to Saint John. 
Robert can’t do the things he used to do. Robert is still as handsome as he always has been, but he’s more frail and sickly looking, a shell of the man he once was. The only thing he can do is spend time with you and his children, valuing his time, which is running out faster than he can count. He builds wooden lodges with houses with Elias, collects seashells and rocks with Elias, and lies in your lap as you read him all of the old books and Greek myths the two of you used to read together. 
Robert tries to make you a Martini one night, but he struggles in the kitchen. A glass drops and you run in, to find both of his hands shaking. He confesses to you that he can’t keep his hands still, and he can’t stop apologizing after. You smile, holding back tears, telling him it’s okay. 
You, Robert, and your family soon return to Princeton. At that time, you call and invite people who are close to you, Robert, so he gets the chance to say goodbye. Kitty and his children come by. They're as devastated as you are, but they thank you. Kitty, for the first time, cries in front of you, and says you have a beautiful family; thanking you for taking care of Robert. You break down in front of her, and Kitty hugs you. 
It’s clear that Robert’s in his final days of life. He can’t remember or speak coherently as he used to. Your children are very aware of this, and you prepare them for the worst that is to come. 
It’s nighttime, and Robert’s in bed, saying he’s going to read a book that you’d enjoyed. You make him peppermint tea downstairs to help him fall asleep. As you make the tea, you can hear Robert’s horse voice as he talks to their children. If you bend your ear further, you can hear his voice shaking as he tells his children that he loves them more than anything, and to treat you, their mother, with nothing but love and respect. 
You go upstairs with the tea you’ve prepared for Robert. He thanks you and smiles as if he’s seen you for the first time, refusing to let go of your hand with a weak grasp. As you change quickly into your pajamas, you jump into bed with him and hold him carefully, not wanting to hurt him. 
“Sweetling?” He says your term of endearment in a sing-song voice. You look up, fully attentive. 
“Yes, Oppie?”
With a trembling hand, he holds out an aged navy book with gold print; Hades and Persephone. 
“Can you please read this to me?”
Once you grasp the book, tears begin to form in your eyes. As much as you want to cry, you hold your tears back and nod your head. Leaning against Robert, you open to the book’s preface and see all of his annotations inside. Some of them are about you. You’re about to start reading when Robert, in his classic fashion, grabs your hand and holds it to his chest. 
“Y/n?”
You don’t look over as you close your eyes. 
“Yes, Robert?”
“I love you, y/n”
A tear falls down your cheek, but you don’t let Robert see it. 
“I love you too, Robert.”
That night, Robert falls into a coma. Three days later, he dies. He was sixty-two years old. 
Once you have the funeral and dump his ashes into the US Virgin Islands water, you and your two children move down to Williamsburg, Virginia. You don’t want to be in Princeton anymore, as if it reminds you of Robert. Your family recommends you move back to New York City or Charlottesville, but you refuse; they all have Robert’s name written on it. 
In Williamsburg, you grieve heavily at losing your first and only love, but motherhood keeps you busy. You get a job as an assistant professor at William and Mary, and just as you usually do, you cope with the pain until it becomes numb, losing yourself in your work and children. It’s what Robert would want for you. 
Each night, after you make dinner by yourself, you go to your room and drink, reading all of Robert’s books from his reading list that shaped his mind. 
One night, you’re drunk and sad. You’re primarily drunk at night, hazy and unaware, but some nights you are sad, not always. A ten-year-old Elias walks into your room, asking why you are crying so much. 
For a second, you think he’s Robert with his big blue eyes and puff of dark hair, which makes you sob even more. 
After Robet’s death, Kitty writes to you frequently to ensure you’re doing okay alone with the kids. You write back, and in her final years, the two of you build a friendship until her untimely death in 1972. You speak at her funeral and say in your speech that you hope she’s reunited with Robert. 
Thaïs and Elias both grow into fine adults. Thaïs goes to study chemistry and history at Davis while Elias studies nuclear physics at Princeton, which you know would make Robert proud of both of them. 
Toni, Oppenheimer’s daughter from Kitty’s marriage, committed suicide in 1977. Robert gave her the ranch in New Mexico. Peter refuses to take it, so it’s given to Thaïs. For Thanksgiving and Christmas, you meet Thaïs and Elias there to celebrate the holidays, taking them horseback riding to explore the beauty of New Mexico that Robert once showed to you. 
Thaïs and Elias grow old, and have their own lifes. They stop visiting for holidays, as they are preoccupied with their own families and affairs. You never get angry at either of them for doing so; it’s human nature. 
And so you retreat back to the island of St.John, where your beach house is. It holds both fond and sad memories of Robert, especially within his last years. It’s probably not the best idea if you are out there alone, but you manage to keep yourself distracted with the television, books, and old photos surrounding you. You keep yourself busy and entertained, only getting sad at night about Robert. 
One night, you’re reading on Robert’s old chair. There’s a peppermint tea that’s untouched by your side, along with a fully drinken bottle of wine. With a blanket over you, you read Robert’s old, annotated copy of Hades and Perspehone. You’ve read it a thousand times by now, but the story never gets old to you. It will never get old for you. 
As you reach the end, in which Persephone stays with Hades, your eyes begin to feel heavy. Your hands and fingers feel tingly and heavy. With your eyelids feeling droopy and breathing feeling short, you rest your head back and into the chair. Everything slowly goes back. You're not sad to be going; infact, you’re happy. 
Sometime later, you awaken in a hazy world. It’s an alternate reality since you feel much younger, sitting at a desk, and looking down at your book; it’s an introductory book to Physics with your navy notebook, your name taped on the side. 
Looking up at the chalkboard, you see him; Robert. He’s Dr.Oppenheimer, but to you, he’ll always be Robert or Oppie. He’s got his cigarette in hand, and those damn blue eyes that you loved. Oh, how you’ve missed them. He looks directly at you in the class, and you directly at him. There are people talking, and while they are close, their voices are nothing but mindless mutters.
Robert smiles at you.
Your heart skips a beat. 
You sigh and smile right back at him. At last, you’re home. 
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