#and Jamie (who he sees so much of his younger self in) is living in a much better world where that expection isnt nearly as heavy and I can

[mitskijamie]

Jamiegender scholars should we discuss the recurrant emasculation by older men

#oc #also very interesting how much of this comes from Roy if you read Roy as a closeted gay or bi man #I actually read a really interesting article about the sharp left turn in attitudes towards homosexuality in men's sports #and how in the 90's (which wouldve been the height of Roy's career) <10% of male athletes surveyed described themselves as 'pro gay' #compared to 93% in 2022 #and how it's common for male athletes to kiss each other/share beds/outwardly express love for each other which didnt used to be the case #Roy was loved and valued his entire career for being angry and aggressive and soldiering through pain without help #('Your anger makes you the player that you are' Roy Kent will never leave on a stretcher' 'I played hurt all the time') #and Jamie (who he sees so much of his younger self in) is living in a much better world where that expection isnt nearly as heavy and I can #see the resentment there #I'm fine with him playing hurt I played hurt all the time. I had to suffer so should he. it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair #this makes NO sense im literally like a little girl playing insane dramas with barbies #jamiegender

[lunar-years]

re: your earlier post: i think it's funny how roy broke up with the love of his life and then immediately started spending basically all his time "platonically" with someone who has a lot in common with keeley. like if you can't have a relationship with keeley store bought is fine lol. jamie even has the same avant garde fashion sense!

Yes, Roy certainly does have a type, doesn't he? lol

Warning for ot3 shipping clownery here (surprise, surprise) but... Roy and Jamie and Keeley are all so deeply compatible; this does not need really need to be said on my blog but, I am so deeply insane about it and them!! Like yes, Jamie & Keeley have a lot in common, but so do Jamie & Roy, and even Roy & Keeley, and all three of them. And it's not only the more superficial hobbies and interests stuff, but also deeper personality stuff, and they have a world of differences too, but all together it just somehow works.

Jamie & Keeley share an interest in fashion and presentation and parties and events and knowing how to work a room. They're both incredibly charming personalities. They're also both really smart in ways that are more unconventional or not immediately recognizable & easily dismissed by other people around them (but Roy sees and admires them both so much for it, I think). I also think Keeley & Jamie feel the need to prove themselves because of their backgrounds, and that contributes to them both being incredibly hard workers; however, it can lend itself to them occasionally overdoing it and not taking care of themselves. Someone like Roy grounds them both I think and reminds them when they need to take a step back.

Jamie & Roy obviously share football, but I do think Roy sees a lot of his younger self in Jamie and that's been a big contributor to both their previous strife as well as the current protectiveness Roy has over him. They're both very ambitious and headstrong and stubborn with professional athlete egos and arrogance to match. I think they've also both felt very isolated and unworthy of being loved at various points in their lives, and they've both used that arrogance as a mask or a crutch in certain ways. They just get each other, even while in other ways they are complete opposites.

Roy & Keeley, we've seen why they work so beautifully on the show, but to me they are the perfect example of opposites attract. Keeley is able to bring out a playfulness and lightness in Roy like only Phoebe (and, I think Jamie is getting there, too) has been able to do. And Roy brings out Keeley's confidence and allows her to shine.

All three of them are so passionate about the things and people they love; and they love fiercely, too. It's like, Roy is clingy and needs someone to smother with love, and Jamie is the perfect recipient of the smothering whereas it can make Keeley feel uncomfortable; Jamie & Keeley are more extroverted and can handle the press and the celebrity so that Roy doesn't have to; When Jamie wants to go do his young footballer all-night clubbing with the boys thing, I picture Keeley & Roy just basking in a quiet night in, even if it's just Keeley on her laptop and Roy reading his books. Also, Keeley is the mastermind who can draw out these two boys' emotions and get them to openly talk to each other. Their love languages just mesh when it's all three of them! Not to mention, they all have deeply crazy undeniable chemistry.

All that to say, put together the combined force of Jamie and Keeley, and Roy is so far gone....

#asks #this is not eloquent or researched this is a deeply self indulgent shippy rant LOL sorry #i just love them all so much #and I love the individual couples too but all three of them? that's everything #royjamiekeeley #ted lasso #idk if anything in here is actually spoilery but to be safe: #ted lasso spoilers #roy kent #jamie tartt #keeley jones

[littleperilstories]

The Prince of Thieves: wip intro

Masterlist | Chapter Titles | Also on A03! | Playlist

The Prince of Thieves is a Robin Hood-inspired tale of two brothers, Will and Jamie Wardrew, and the people they care about most: Geoff, Colette, and Bree.

The goal of Iustitia aecum, the notorious thieving gang, is to steal from the rich and give to the poor. For a few years, that's exactly what Jamie, Will, Colette, and Geoff (as the gang's inner circle) do; they slip through the fingers of the law time and time again.

One day, everything goes wrong.

Will, by a stroke of fateful misfortune, falls into a trap meant for Jamie, the real leader of IA, and ends up in prison—in the custody of Constable Baden Hatchett, an officer who is willing to do whatever it takes to get Will to crack so he can bust IA and bring all its members to justice.

With execution—his brother's and his own—hanging over his head, Will resolves to take his secrets to the grave, swearing not to betray the only family he has left.

Bree Cooper is one of IA's runners, privy to no secrets save for one she learned by chance...that she was never supposed to know. When she, too, falls into the hands of the constabulary, she is forced to reckon with her past—a complicated history with Constable Hatchett himself, and her future—the gallows.

Will and Bree's lives were already intertwined, and when they find each other again behind bars, they will rewrite the stories fate has planned for them—together.

Click here to see some incredible art by @keeper-of-all-the-random-things of the Iustitia aecum tree sigil!!

Cast of Characters

Will Wardrew: Foolhardy, reckless, and immature, his fiery temper and smart mouth get him into trouble constantly—inside and outside the prison walls. Incredibly loving and loyal, he will go to great lengths to protect the people he loves.

Bree Cooper: A girl who suffered enough in childhood to make her tough and wary as an adult, Bree thinks with her heart. Stubborn to a fault, she clings to hope above all other things.

Baden Hatchett: Cold-hearted, prideful, and cruel, Baden Hatchett wants nothing more than to take IA down. Will and Bree's constant defiance and refusal to comply with his investigation spur him to more brutal methods so he can claim his victory.

Jamie Wardrew: A strong sense of justice and an unwillingness to witness people’s suffering prompted him to become a Robin Hood figure so he could help others, but now that it is his younger brother paying the price, his world is starting to unravel.

Colette Haris: A rich girl who walked away from her family and her home, Colette is self-assured and strong. She is the other half of the 'brains' of IA (while Geoff makes up the 'brawn').

Geoffrey Marks: The epitome of 'strong and silent,' Geoff has spent much of his life on his own and scrounging for survival, which makes him good at an unnerving number of suspicious and useful skills. Observant and deceptively gentle, he would do anything for Jamie, and by extension, Will. He is also the tallest person you have ever seen.

What You'll Find Inside

angst

lots of fun whump: flogging, stabbing, burning, psychological and emotional torment, fun insults, tons of defiance (especially early on), so many chains and shackles - warnings always provided

found family

lovable dummies for characters

badass gals and guys

dungeon vibes

tragic backstories / rough childhoods

problematic authority figures

old-timey historic vibes

sloooooooooow burn romantic feelings

"I'd do anything for you"

"why did you save me?"

"I won't give in, so you'll just have to kill me"

hard choices

complicated pasts

secrets, betrayal, forgiveness

silly easter eggs/references to: Robin Hood, Les Miserables, Aladdin

here's the old mood boards!

#wip intro #my wip #my writing #lps the prince of thieves #whump #whump writing #whump story #whumpblr #writeblr #original story #original content #original characters #writeblr connect #original writing #Will Wardrew is a snarky little sh*t #Jamie Wardrew is too tired for this #Bree Cooper just wants to live her life #Baden Hatch-fucking-ett #Hatch-bitch #the IA boys would be nothing without Colette #Geoff makes a damn good cup of tea #lps-birthday #lady whump #prison whump #dungeon whump #male whump #whump fiction #original fiction

[denimbex1986]

'In the British director Andrew Haigh’s earlier films—“Weekend” (2011), “45 Years” (2015), and “Lean on Pete” (2017)—the images did much less of the work than the script and the actors. There has been something literal about his filmmaking that undercuts the intense emotion of the stories he films. His new movie, “All of Us Strangers,” is a little different and a lot better. The fact that it’s a kind of ghost story, a drama centered on fantasy, spurs Haigh to shoot in a way that conveys a distinctive, alternate realm of experience. Even if one didn’t know that he has strong personal associations with the story (and I didn’t, until after I’d seen the film), it’s clear that the confluence of this private investment and fantastical elements of the narrative impart new tone and shape to Haigh’s image-making. If his previous films have felt like mere renderings of their scripts, this one is a genuinely cinematic experience.

“All of Us Strangers” is a filmmaker’s movie—or, rather, a screenwriter’s one. That’s the job of the protagonist, Adam (Andrew Scott), and, when the action begins, he’s struggling with it. Living alone in a high-windowed flat, keeping the TV on for distraction and inspiration, moving from the blank screen of his laptop to the snoozy refuge of his sofa, Adam is enduring writerly frustration, heightened by the subject he has taken on: his own past, his own family. And his current circumstances are inflicting a deeper solitude: a single gay man, he lives in a new apartment tower with few other tenants. He does catch a strange glimpse of one, however, when, during a building-wide fire alarm, Adam goes outside half-dressed in the middle of the night. Looking up at a lighted window, he notices a neighbor who refuses to budge from his sixth-floor apartment. When Adam goes back home, he gets a knock on the door from that neighbor, Harry (Paul Mescal), who comes bearing a bottle of whiskey, but Adam sends him away.

So far, so literal, but there’s something slightly oneiric about this conjunction of slight odd events that places the action in the register of the uncanny. When Adam gets back to his script, with its scene heading “ext. suburban house 1987,” he’s in the paradoxical position of being too much inside his own head and not being in it deep enough. To jog his inspiration and reinvigorate his memory, he watches a video of Frankie Goes to Hollywood and rummages through a box of childhood memorabilia. Gazing out the window of his flat at nearby train tracks, he is impelled to hunt for his past in person, taking the train to his boyhood home, in Sanderstead, a suburb of London. There, at the window of the house where he lived, he sees a child; in a nearby park, he encounters a man who invites him home—his father (Jamie Bell). There, at the house, Adam’s mother (Claire Foy) is waiting for him, too. Both parents are apparently the age they were in 1987, when Adam was eleven. Spoiler alert: his parents were killed following a car accident on Christmas of that year. The essence of “All of Us Strangers” is Adam’s reconnection with them, sharing stories of his life since then and also things they didn’t know about his childhood self.

Once Adam reunites with his parents—who, movingly, appear to be younger than their fortysomething son—he is seemingly addicted to the experience, making ever more frequent and urgent trips to their home. They seem to be middle-class people with little knowledge of the arts, and are impressed that he has become a writer. (His self-deprecating view of screenwriting—saying he’s “not a proper writer”—plays like a director’s wink.) Momentously and affectingly, Adam comes out to them. His conversations with each of them, separately, reveal, with a sociological precision that’s dramatically impassioned, the changes in British legal and social attitudes toward homosexuality. His mother is surprised to know that Adam faces no harassment and can marry another man and raise children; dying while the aids crisis was raging, she is surprised to learn that the disease is manageable; when Adam talks of the bullying that he endured growing up, his father admits that, as a schoolboy, he would have been among the bullies. As Adam keeps returning to Sanderstead, he soon moves from merely recollecting his childhood toward reënacting it, with his parents’ enthusiastic participation—snuggling in bed between his parents when he can’t fall asleep, coming downstairs in his pajamas on Christmas Day, heading out to his favorite restaurant.

These phantasmagorical sequences, filmed with a bracing realism that renders the fantasy all the more poignant, make “All of Us Strangers” a sort of “It Wasn’t Always Such a Terrible Life”—a Christmas movie whose protagonist is able to extract from the workaday banalities of his childhood the loving devotion that lay beneath, and to bring it to the fore in the place of enduring traumas. Adam, ever the screenwriter, performs a brilliant editing job on his life, cutting out decades of agonized relationships and even normal conflicts. By seeing the details of his adolescence in the light of the life that he has led and by encountering his parents not as authority figures but as near-contemporaries, Adam alchemically transforms a troubled childhood into gold.

I didn’t know, until after seeing the movie, that Adam’s old home is filmed in the house where Haigh himself grew up. (Happily, his parents are still alive, though.) But the intensity of Haigh’s bond to the ghosts of childhood is apparent from the stuff of the movie itself, including subtly transformative images that are new to his cinematic vocabulary. The cliché of following the back of a character’s head to see what he sees suddenly seems fresh again, because being left to imagine Adam’s astonished gaze is more powerful than any performance could be. Haigh makes ordinary closeups convey more than mere emphasis by means of striking, painterly disproportions between foreground and background; even Adam’s adult height, in a town and a household that he’d always seen from a child’s viewpoint, is framed as conspicuously strange and disconcerting. Meanwhile, the scene in which Adam’s ghostly parents come into contact with the world outside the house offers one of the year’s best coups de cinéma.

There’s another aspect to “All of Us Strangers” that both expands the story far beyond the familial and launches it into an altogether different realm of wish-fulfillment. After the initial freeze-out, Adam’s neighbor Harry gives him a second chance, knocking on his door again. This time, Adam invites him in, and the two men begin a romantic and sexual relationship, in the course of which they discuss their family backgrounds. With the subject broached, Adam is inspired to bring Harry out to Sanderstead to meet his parental apparitions—yet another extraordinary twist in the movie’s metaphysical fantasy.

Unfortunately, this is where Haigh cannot transcend the limitations of his previous work. It wasn’t only the images in his three widely released features that seemed insufficient; in each, the central relationships were deftly sketched but thinly defined. The relationship that develops between Adam and Harry suffers in the same way. When they discuss their childhood, it is in numbingly general terms, long on psychologizing but short on animating detail. The scenes of Adam and Harry together, for all their warmth, are as slightly rendered as those with his parents are dramatically rich, and the power of Haigh’s direction dwindles to match. No point in giving away the last pieces in the movie’s puzzle, but Harry and Adam’s bond is a screenwriter’s relationship, pared down to its function in the plot and to its connection with Adam’s prime realm of fantasy—the appearance of his parents. What’s missing from the film is the spark that leaps the gap from imagination to reality. For all its droll shading of the screenwriter’s art, “All of Us Strangers” is a screenwriter’s movie, in which the power of intention over observation, of the blueprint over the finished product, is asserted with a vengeance.'

#All of Us Strangers #Andrew Haigh #Andrew Scott #Paul Mescal #Frankie Goes to Hollywood #Weekend #45 Years #Lean on Pete #Claire Foy #Jamie Bell

[toomanyf4ndoms7]

We are the reckless side characters because I’ve got plans.

It’s a long one. Possible spoilers for future events.

This’ll all make sense down the line, scout’s honour.

Original Students:

Derek Miller: The main bully on Blackfield high school. Cruel and sadistic to those he targets, he’s been harassing Raven and Kelly since fifth grade and has only gotten more frequently dangerous as the years went on. But maybe the final year will bring about some changes…

Courtney Flood: The self declared “gossip queen” of Blackfield, Courtney thrives on attention and ruining the lives of those she selects as her “lucky subjects.” She used to be friends with Mary, but had a falling out in tenth grade. Her heart burns with resentment, but knows Mary is too high to touch. But she’s willing to wait for her chance to rise.

Kayla Price: Voted “most likely to win a bar fight” Kayla is tall, intimidating, and been in her fair share of school fights. Despite her reputation, she’s quite mellow so be around. She doesn’t like being caught up in fights, but it gets people off her back. Has an eye for visual arts and a fan of Italian cuisine.

(Twisted Metal AU)

Amanda Watts: Energy personified and ten time track champion, Amanda is almost always buzzing with life. While she usually frequents the track field for some running or skate park when she has the time, she’s also a pretty good listener if you can catch her at the right time. She’s not a fan of bullies either, having been through her share of grief back in middle school.

Mary Bloom: Considered by many to be one of the popular Blackfield students, Mary has spent much time carefully crafting her school persona and surrounding herself with allies. Rumours of her love life are discussed, though none know the truth except for her best friend, Kristen Welch, and why would she betray her friend like that? Mary can be a bit prissy and uptight, but there is a good heart inside.

Jamie Roberts: The younger sister of former sports Captain Carl Roberts, Jamie is someone who keeps to herself. Tied with Kayla for the most intimidating student on campus, Jamie is calm, professional, and studious, not letting drama get to her. Will report when she sees something wrong, but will also offer a shoulder to lean on if necessary. Rumours state that her and Amanda are together, but Jamie has denied such allegations with a straight face.

Staff:

Mr Pines: Blackfield’s new principal after a dangerous incident prompted immediate action. Pines is a strict man who feels the situation only occurred because if the lax treatment of student misconduct. Despite his professional and oftentimes stiff attitude, a one on one conversation could make him more than meets the eye.

Other characters:

Annie: Billy’s old flame from before he moved to the city. Smart, clever, with an eye for opportunity, a lot of folks back home were surprised when she and Billy got together. When he moved out, a part of her was hurt, but she knew it would only be a matter of time until her parents moved as well. The city has plenty of opportunities, and she was always good with those.

Needles Kane: Blackfield’s urban legend. An enigma. People say he’s a delinquent, a dangerous person to encounter. There are rumours that he got sent to a boarding school, or even that he’s locked up in some detention facility. The only one who knows for sure is the man himself. And if you ever see that stringy orange hair and white clown mask at night, the last thing to worry about is getting answers.

(If you’re wondering where this came from, don’t worry, it’ll make sense soon.)

#revelations and stupidity #we are the reckless #twisted metal

[malicious-compliance-esq]

Fic: "A Better Offer"

A fresh fic and a few changes, Randallites! I’m now slowly posting my works to AO3, starting with a brand new story that kicks off the entire “Dispatches from Fort Laggan” universe. But my works on there are archive-locked; I'm also not terribly happy with the formatting options for pre and post fic notes. So I will continue to share the Google Drive versions here for folks who prefer to read that way.

This may also be the only completely safe-for-work story I ever write. It’s a lot of worldbuilding with some medium spicy backstory on Black Jack and Jamie’s relationship as well as what they’ve been doing since taking a hard left turn from canon after the sequence where Claire gets interrogated at Fort William in S1E8, and some exposition on Mary’s background and recent character development.

Read "A Better Offer" now on Drive or AO3 per your pleasure!

Quick summary for the good of the order:

In the fall of 1745, Black Jack Randall accepts a little help and a lot of snark from Jamie Fraser while he unloads and sorts the last of his and Alex's things from their family's estate in Sussex. Black Jack is now commanding a new garrison northwest of Laggan with the goal of preventing further violence between the British Army and Jacobite Scots. So far, so good thanks to a lot of teeth-clenched teamwork and considerable help from Colum MacKenzie. He has a much more pleasant job that doesn't fuel his own self-hatred nearly as much; his abuser is long dead thanks to a bit of sprightly decapitation; and he gets to lick Jamie's scars pretty much any time he wants.

Life has been reasonably good for Black Jack the past couple of years, but has also become more complicated in recent months. He's now living just outside of Melgarve with his younger brother Alex and his lady love Mary Hawkins, growing closer to Mary as her partner's health continues to decline and they care for him together. As he reflects on the past with cautious hope, he looks toward an uncertain future with growing apprehension—and an embarrassment of powdered wigs that he's having the devil of a time keeping his cat Benedick from stealing.

As with all my fic, no rape whatsoever in the action. There are a couple of brief references to both Mary and Black Jack himself surviving sexual violence in the past—one of several dynamics that makes them oddly well suited for each other later on. There is also some general exposition on early installment weirdness between Black Jack and Jamie—the events described in S1E2 and S1E6.

Nonstandard Dr. Compliance content warnings and disclaimers apply:

This story is very cerebral, but not very explicit. You will get a deep dive on World War II history and plenty of other goodies to set up the much more erotic future installments within this universe.

That said, please still consider yourself carefully before reading. Writing erotica is thinking on our own trauma recovery and sexual liberation, after all! For full description and content warnings, hop to the front matter in Drive or AO3. An upshot of my usual copious generosity with the written word is that you won’t accidentally get into reading the story itself if you realize from the metadata that you’d rather not venture further.

And if you do venture further, please feel free to leave feedback here! Finally, to all my fellow survivors daring to envision people who harmed us actually doing the work to make meaningful amends: I see you; you are valid; and you are verra welcome here.

#niche outlander fanfiction #malicious fics it #black jack randall #malicious makes bad men behave #trauma #fanfic #writing is healing #lgbt fiction #processing #men being soft #men being hard #ideally both at once

[lilmissbacon]

Rise of the Guardians' Burgess kids as Adults

Yo, these pieces took be FOUR DAYS to finish 😭 I'm running so low on juice right now. It's wasn't even the coloring, the coloring was easy. The line work was a pain in the ass.

I thought I'd also talk about who each are and what I think about these characters as people and to why I designed them the way I did.

Note; They are all around 23 years old while Sophie is about 16.

Jamie

He was the one I felt would change the least as he got older. I imagine who grew up to be a theorist on real-world and film/movie subjects.

I also like to think that he'd be chosen to became a spirit at some point. His center would be belief and he'd have the ability to shape shift. He is able to actually be seen despite being a spirit, but only when he shape shifts. That way, he turns into someone else (like Tooth or Bunny) so humans will see him, think he is that person, and the belief in that spirit's existence will continue on.

Jamie would be kinda like a guarantee in the Guardians' belief. To keep it high and growing.

Also, you know those highschoolers/college kids that go into the army after graduation? Well, Jamie would really want to become a Guardian, which is kinda like the spirit equivalent. So, Jamie's vest is a navy green in reference to that.

Sophie

I made her top a lighter shade of green to signify her being Jamie's little sister. Also to the fact that she'd want to make a world a better place like the Guardians. She doesn't necessarily want to become a spirit/Guardian to do so but if she's chosen, she's chosen. She doesn't really care too much.

I like to think that Bunny would go to visit her often when he's not busy. To the point where she kinda becomes his protegé. So she knows many forms of art but prefers to paint and sew. Hence the little flower and patterning stitched into her sweater.

Cupcake

She's still pretty similar to her child self, only instead of her appearance scaring off people, it's welcoming. She's cute and can be super gentle. Many people assume so at first glance but she's still also very hardy and strong.

She's also much more smiley and lucky going than when she was younger.

Monty

I love the trope that started with Neville Longbottom, of the dorky looking kid growing up to be hot 😂

I like to think that the night the Guardians fought Pitch and how the kids helped basically save the world, probably gave Monty a big confident boost. He doesn't become a jerk or anything, he's just become more comfortable in speaking his mind and being more extroverted.

He's still a nerd and I see him working with computers from home for a semi-big company.

Claude

He's a sports guy and mostly plays soccer. With Jack visiting and playing with the kids so often over the years, I think he probably adopted the most of Jack's parkour skills. So it makes him a very maneuverable player on the team.

When he's not working out or playing sports, he's playing video games of all kinds with his friends and twin.

Caleb

Goes by He/They pronouns. They're a dancer who makes tutorials on YouTube and choreography for the local choirs and plays/musicals.

Side note; he wears their hair down just as often as in a messy bun. It's was just easier on me to draw the bun. For my sanity 😅

Pippa

The tallest of the group, I see her as kinda like the disorganized pansexual of the group. She's like Honeylemon from Big Hero 6 but more tomboyish and jokey.

I think she'd be into pottery as a profession and she'll sculpt to music ranging from classical, to pop, to hard metal.

All

I'm really soft for the idea that they all managed to stick around the small town of Burgess. It's their home, they like living in a town where everyone knows everyone and they're all just really close childhood friends.

They're the group that everyone around town knows. Probably even have a group name like the Spirit Squad or Frost Fleet (since they're Jack's first believers).

I also gave them all something that was blue in reference to being Jack's first believers. Jamie and Cupcake's jeans, Pippa's general outfit, Monty's eyes and his shoes are super dark blue, Claude's shorts and watch, Caleb's Jacket and even Sophie's hair clip. The amount of blue they have on doesn't amount to how much they still believe or anything, it's just a little thing I wanted to add.

I really hope you enjoyed this little art post.

#rise of the guardians #rotg #dreamworks #jamie bennett #burgess kids #art #my designs

[arthurmorganwateringhole]

Something about Mary (Linton)

When people interpret Mary Linton as manipulative (or at least, manipulating Arthur to help her), I think people fail to account for things like class difference. There’s a reason why she asks Arthur, specifically, and she voices time and again that she ought to ask someone else. So why Arthur? Anyone who’s aware of the puritanical culture of 19th-century American high society should be able to guess why, and it’s safe to assume that this is the social milieu from which the Gillis family plausibly comes from.

The stranger quest with Charles Chatenay should be case in point. This isn’t Europe. The upperclass of America are uptight, and this is indeed rooted in this country’s founding by religious extremists (which the Puritans are). In the late 1800s/early 1900s, a lot of this religious uptightness survives in movements like the Temperance movement, which in summary is a movement to ban the legal distribution of alcohol. This movement of course comes from the fallout that alcoholism causes in families, especially amongst the poor, but at the time, notions of propriety were very much rooted in religious ideals. Who upheld ideals? Often, proponents of progressivism came from wealthy families, and being cultured, polite, and otherwise morally upstanding often distinguished older moneyed families from newer moneyed families (many of whom rose up in this time period). 

That really simplified narrative about temperance and social class is there to say that it’s safe to assume the Gillis were moneyed family, and according to Arthur, Mary’s dad used to uphold very strict and rigid moral values that were part and parcel of upperclass American society. It’s precisely this draconian stance on vices which prevented both Arthur and Mary from getting married (outside of both becoming outlaws).

Years later, and for reasons we don’t know (or that I don’t know), the Gillis had fallen on hard times. Mary, newly made into a widow and therefore dependent on her father, is left in the hands of a man who’s fallen from very great heights. He’s a drunkard and steeped in debt. It’s safe to assume that this is precisely the kind of behavior that would warrant opprobrium from the Gillis family’s social peers. Gambling, debts, or watching out for your drunk father is one thing, but remember that more pressing matters beyond wealth were on the line. Jamie, her younger brother, had run off to a cult. She has enough reason to be concerned for his safety, living out in the wilds where bandits and wildlife roam. Not to mention, there IS a derelict house full of corpses laying in beds with bottles next to them, as if having died from communal self-poisoning. Clearly, cults were a scary thing. And when Mary asks Arthur to help with her dad, she had real reason to be scared that he’d gotten involved in something dangerous, besides drinking himself to death. She couldn’t ask someone in her social circle -- people who would’ve judged her rather than helped her. Or if they helped her, would’ve made her family owe them. She had to ask Arthur, the only person she knows who would never judge her (apart from rightfully blunt remarks about her father’s hypocrisy). He’s not from that upper crust of judgmental wealthy people. He’s a rough and tumble man who knows morality isn’t so black and white. He knows more than anyone people mess up (as Jamie has done) and would get him back safely. And despite his grudge against Mary’s father, Arthur would still help him out -- Mary knows he’s an unfailingly good man. And besides, she’s a widow in a time before women could vote, when property rights were definitely prioritized for men. What choice, what power did she have?

She’s not using Arthur. She’s coming to him as a desperate woman. Of course she feels bad that she broke his heart, but he’s the only one who **understands** her family without seeing her as some sort of fallen woman. He would see her for who she is: a woman who needs help; a woman whom he still loves.

#lia meta #rdr2 #mary linton #arthur morgan #bc i can't sleep #i've bee on twitter for so long i forgot about the read more button

[meetmymouth]

AUBADE ; HARRY STYLES

WORD COUNT: 12k

warnings: smut, smoking, alcohol consumption.

thank you @harryandhockey​ and @burberryharold​ for beta-ing this baby, you guys are the sweetest angels! 

When the doorbell goes off for the third time that night, she groans and tosses the lipstick on her bed, then makes her way towards the door. Through the stained glass, she sees a tall figure and rolls her eyes.

“Look, this is the third time- oh. It’s you.”

The blonde raises her eyebrows, “Who were you expecting? Also wow, I feel so welcome, thank you.”

“Sorry,” the door closes behind Charlotte, and they walk inside.

Once in the tiny kitchen, kettle already on, she takes time to coat her eyelashes with mascara.

“Who did you think I was, that was quite the welcome.”

“Couple of girls kept knocking on the door. Something about a survey. I’ve no idea. Hey, can you help me put this on?” She takes a necklace out of her jean pocket and hands it over.

It’s Thursday, which means happy hour at their local pub and after that, they’d take N31 towards Camden to listen to a friend of Charlotte’s, an upcoming indie artist. She usually didn’t like going out on weekdays since she worked 8 to 4 and she would need to wake up at 6AM sharp to get ready and leave her flat for her Friday shift. But ever since Charlotte started working for the touring musician Harry Styles, they saw each other twice- once when they toured England and the second one being right before Charlotte left for tour. Being close friends since school, it was safe to say that she felt her absence and missed her friend dearly but were also so proud of her for everything she’d achieved.

So when Charlotte came home during their break, she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her friend and if it meant spending her Friday shift hungover while cleaning up animal urine and puke from all kinds of animals, then so be it.

“There,” Charlotte pats her on the neck after she clasps the necklace and she turns around, hand reaching to turn the kettle off.

“Ta. When are we leaving? And do you think I should go for my Adidas or the boots?” She points at the heeled boots, half white half black by the kitchen entrance and Charlotte follows her gaze as she sips the hot beverage.

She looks at the boots, then her, then the boots again, “The boots for fuckin’ sure. They’re sick- where’d you get them?”

“Depop,” She lets out a chuckle, “Think they’re Topshop, ‘m not sure. Should we leave? Y’know I walk dead slow and now that I’m wearin’ the boots…”

“You really do...go get your shit, I’ll wash this.”

They’re gathered around a round table, the green paint of the wooden table beginning to chip, and everyone’s got drinks of their own, G&T being the most popular choice. There are only five of them, Charlotte, her, Phoebe and her girlfriend Jamie, and they’re chatting about anything and everything until Charlotte turns to her, straw between her red lips.

“So-”

“Oh dear, what have you done,” she cuts her off and earns a glare from her, and from the corner of her eye, she sees Phoebe and Jamie cross their arms as if they’re getting ready for their usual bickering.

“Fuck you,” Charlotte sighs, “I didn’t do anything. I just invited some more people to Julien’s show and wanted to...kinda ask if that’s alright with you”

“Oh,” she looks around the table, finding the other girls looking at their phones and she turns to Charlotte, “It’s fine. Who are they?”

Phoebe snorts at that and her eyebrows raise in question. She gives Phoebe a look, but Charlotte’s quicker as she throws a damp tissue at the blonde and Jamie laughs when it lands back on Charlotte’s lap. “You know Sarah from the band?”

“Oh, yeah!”

She remembers meeting Sarah at Charlotte’s new flat after she moved to London, the brunette bringing a cute snake plant and a weird- but cute tea set as a housewarming gift and they got on well. They talked about plants, Sarah giving her tips on how to keep certain plants alive, and she asked her lots of questions about her experience being a woman, especially a drummer in the music industry. Sarah was very soft spoken; she spoke as if she was talking to a baby, but she always made sure to maintain eye contact when she was having a conversation with you, listening and nodding when appropriate so that you felt special and...understood. She was lovely, which was why she found it weird how Charlotte was acting awkward about her joining them tonight.

“And her boyfriend, Mitch, of course,” Charlotte adds and she nods, motioning for her to keep going. “And Harry.”

“Harry Styles?”

“Oh boy,” Jamie whistles.

“Obviously,” Charlotte sucks on her straw, slurping her drink, “Yeah, him,” she repeats, this time softer.

“I...why?” She chooses to ask, surprised as she’d like to think Harry Styles as this unreachable, ever-so-busy person who wouldn’t be interested in a night out like this. She turns to Phoebe, and then Jamie, and they respond with a shrug as Phoebe goes back to cuddling into Jamie’s side.

“What do you mean why?” Charlotte places her drink on the table, “It would be rude not to since I asked Sarah and Mitch.”

“Well, I just mean, isn’t he busy?”

Jamie whistles again and sings her name, “You got a crush, babes?”

“Nonsense, never even met the guy- which,” she looks around the table, “-is one of the reasons why I was confused. Anyway, it doesn't matter,” she shrugs and turns to Charlotte, “I’m not bothered, Lotts, it’s totally fine.”

“Y’sure?”

She gives her a nod, “I just find him intimidating and don’t think he’d be into indie, that’s all.”

It was true. Despite having not met Mr. Harry Styles, deep down she knew he’d be intimidating because he was so good looking and well, just like most people, she loved One Direction. She was a big fan, she even got told off by her stepmother once when she was younger because apparently the tape she used to hang her One Direction posters was ruining the walls. She often referred to them as twinks, and she didn’t even know what it meant until she was older. She remembers how she got made fun of at sixth form because one of the girls found her old Tumblr and told everyone about it. Harry’s never been her favourite though. Not because she didn’t find him attractive, not at all. It was because he was too attractive and was everyone’s favourite so whenever asked, she’d shrug and tell people how she found Louis funny, and then Zayn because ’he’s the hottest’.

Long story short, despite her friendship with Charlotte, she’d never met Harry, never had the opportunity to attend one of his shows because she was either too busy or they were playing in a different country and she simply couldn’t afford it. So tonight would be the first time they’d get to be in the same place and to say that she was nervous would be an understatement. And her, she always thought she was awkward. Way too awkward for social gatherings but she liked going out regardless, drinking cheap alcohol and dancing to shitty songs in an equally shitty pub. She loved being a student. Loved the freedom the title had given her. What’s your occupation, she’d get asked from time to time. Student, she’d say without hesitating. She was a student. She didn’t have to be anything else for three years. Sure, she was also working part time at an animal shelter but for the most part, she loved being a student. That’s how she met Phoebe, and then Jamie. In a way, she was their matchmaker.

She remembers meeting Phoebe last year when they had a class together. She was the first person to smile at her in the overcrowded lecture theatre and she remembers thinking how nice Phoebe’s green fringe looked. Meeting Jamie though, was funny. Phoebe usually got weird when they joked about it since she met Jamie before Phoebe did on Tinder, even went on a date with her, and then right before she was about to ghost her, she thought of how similar Phoebe and Jamie were. It was then that she made Phoebe go on a date with Jamie, and after a month of pining, they got together. Even though they were similar, she always thought that they actually completed each other, Jamie being the logical one and Phoebe encouraging Jamie to let loose from time to time and live in the moment.

Charlotte reaches and boops her nose, “He’s a musician, he loves all kinds of music. He won’t eat you, babe. He’s nice, I promise.”

Phoebe knocks on the wood, getting everyone’s attention, “Can we get a picture with him? An autograph?”

She feels a throbbing pain in her feet, toes in particular once they’re in and they wait for Phoebe and Jamie to buy their drinks, knowing she’d wake up with blisters in the morning. Charlotte takes out her phone and presumably texts the others, letting them know they were already here. She felt nervous. Nervous because she always thought she was rubbish when it came to meeting new people; they either thought she was too intimidating or rude but in reality, it was only because she always felt anxious meeting new people and would rather stay quiet than talking nonsense.

She takes time to analyse her outfit, a pair of black mom jeans and her boots, oh the boots who were currently grilling her feet. Then she tries to adjust her lace bodysuit, all of a sudden feeling super self conscious about the ”revealing” outfit. She adjusts the top, hoping her tits weren’t out before, and sighs when she touches the oversized blazer, rolling up the sleeves a bit more since it was beginning to get warm, too warm for her liking inside. Considering how she often felt self conscious about her arms, she felt more comfortable with the blazer over the sexy bodysuit.

“So,” she starts, eyes studying the crowded bar before her gaze stops at Charlotte, “Are they here?”

Charlotte looks up from her phone and nods, leaning her head on her shoulder. She feels her arm going around her waist and smiles, nudging her head with hers and she looks up, giving her a smile of her own. “What’s up, blondie?” she asks, hand coming up to ruffle Charlotte’s fringe.

She sighs, “Just tired, to be honest. I’m glad I wore trainers.”

“At least one of us is happy about their shoe choice.”

They watch as Phoebe and Jamie walk towards them, the brunette handing her a tall glass as Phoebe hands Charlotte her own drink. “When’s she on?”

Everyone turns to Charlotte, “Half an hour, maybe?”

“When are your friends coming? It’s getting quite...stuffy in here,” Jamie looks around and Phoebe nods, hands going around Jamie’s waist to pull the brunette into her.

“I texted Sarah and she said Harry was parking the car- oh, I see Mitch.”

They all look around, and she spots the tall guy with long hair, walking towards them with Sarah and Harry behind. She gulps and tries to look away, praying that no one takes notice of her sweaty forehead and shaky hands.

As the trio walk towards them, she takes a moment to examine Harry, and his outfit. Even in the dimly lit bar, she’s almost sure the high waisted trousers he has on are navy, and he’s got a tan...or a beige shirt tucked in them, chest on full display and she notices a cross necklace, looking as if it was made for his pretty neck. She clears her throat as quietly as she can and looks down but not before she takes a peek at his shoes, and she almost snorts at the choice of red boots he’s got on, noticing how everyone had trainers on while the two of them had what looked like very uncomfortable boots on.

To be honest, she thinks, he looks pretty good. She looks around them, noticing how most guys had jeans and ugly trainers on whereas Harry looked like he made quite the effort with his outfit but she also knows that even if he turned up in jeans and ugly trainers, he would still look amazing. Damn Harry Styles. Was she blushing?

The three of them are in their space now, close enough so she can make out Sarah’s overpowering perfume, and she clears her throat once again when Charlotte embraces Sarah first, then Mitch. Before she can watch her hug Harry, Sarah’s in front of her.

“Hi,” she smiles, going in for a hug, “It’s so nice to see you again. It’s been a while,” she says and her voice comes out muffled since they’re still hugging and she hopes her hair smells decent because Sarah’s face is pressed against her neck and hair.

“It’s nice to see you too! How have you been?”

“‘Been alright, I suppose!” She beams at her and turns to the man with long hair, “This is Mitch.”

As Sarah introduces everyone with Mitch, she feels Harry’s eyes on her, though she can’t turn her head and meet his gaze because that’d be rude seeing how Mitch is about to reach and give her a one armed hug. Alright then, she thinks, they’re a hugger. Then, it’s Harry’s turn. She looks at him, seeing how his eyes are focused on Phoebe and Jamie as he gives them both a warm smile before Charlotte starts talking again, introducing everyone to Phoebe and Jamie, then everyone turns to her, and she feels her face heat up seeing how everyone’s attention is on her now. She knows it’s her turn.

Harry takes a step forward and her earlier thoughts are confirmed when she can finally make out the colour of his trousers. “Hey, ‘m Harry,” he gives her a smile without waiting for Charlotte to speak, “Nice meeting you,” he comes closer and wraps an arm around her, engulfing her in a hug but it’s definitely different from Mitch or Sarah’s hug. It’s tight, much warmer and he’s got both arms around her, palms flat against her back as he rubs her back.

And of course she responds with the same warmness and hugs him back, “Hiya,” she introduces herself, and once they pull apart, he repeats her name and it sounds like poetry, something so personal and...erotic. But maybe, she thinks, maybe it’s just his deep voice making her feel that way.

Despite the moment they shared, if she could call it that, felt like hours, it was merely a minute. And it wasn’t like in the films where they hug, everything around them slowing down as the people watch in awe. No, not at all. When she looks around, she sees that everyone’s been already mingling, Phoebe and Jamie smiling at each other while they sipped their drinks, and Mitch is nowhere to be seen, possibly at the bar getting drinks.

Harry turns to Charlotte with a grin, “So is she any good, should we replace you with her?” He says, nudging her with his hip.

That sort of makes her smile, seeing Harry so carefree and friendly with the people who are essentially working for him. Even though she doesn’t know Harry Styles like they do, like Charlotte does, she knows he considers these people to be his friends and colleagues rather than his employees. It’s also fun seeing him this friendly with her best friend, and she feels proud, as she always does, knowing Charlotte has made herself great friends and that she clearly enjoys working with these people.

Charlotte nudges him back, “She’s great, I wouldn’t mind being replaced by her. Oh, there she is,” she points at the stage, and everyone turns to look at the pink-haired girl on the tiny stage with a sleek looking acoustic guitar on her side. As the others start talking about Julien, she finally takes the opportunity to look at Harry. Once their eyes meet, he gives her a smile, dimples on full display, and she swears she could see him blush when he looks down after she beamed at him. Even if he did blush though, he recovers quickly when he’s offered a drink and he mutters a thank you to Mitch, then lifts the slice of lime off the rim of his glass and sucks it into his mouth and she deems it as a good time to look away.

And she does, when she feels Sarah close, and she turns to her, Sarah welcoming her with a smile, “How’s uni? It’s your last year, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” she clears her throat, “It’s alright. Exhausting, but alright.”

“You’re working too, right?”

“Yeah, I work at an animal shelter.”

“It must be exhausting.”

“It is,” she gives her a nod, “I work three days a week and I also have classes so I only have Sundays off. I’ll probably leave and focus on uni after Christmas break though, I have my dissertation next semester.”

“Oh, cool! I miss being a student,” she purses her lips and turns to Harry, who had been listening to their conversation, his pretty fingers, most of them adorned with equally pretty rings, wrapped around the tall glass, “You probably can’t relate, H, can ya?”

He rolls her eyes but laughs regardless, “Piss off.”

Despite the chatter around them, it’s not ridiculously loud so they can carry a conversation without having to shout. They fall into an easy conversation, everyone joining in, and all of a sudden a pink neon light falls over them and they all turn to the stage. Julien starts singing, and all the chatter around them dies down, some people already starting to sing the words back at her.

She looks away from the stage for a minute and catches Harry’s gaze from across the room. They’re close enough for her to make out a few droplets of sweat on Harry’s forehead, and their eyes meet as he gives her a smile, eyes sparkling with mischief, then brings the glass up to his mouth. She watches as his top lip rests on the rim before he lifts it to his mouth and when she looks up, she sees him still looking at, gaze unwavering and mouth curled upwards in a sly smirk. She was caught. She was caught and he looked like he was loving and devouring every second of it.

Julien takes a break, promising to come back with a brand new song from her upcoming EP, and there’s a group of people making their way towards the exit, presumably to have a smoke and get some fresh air.

“Where’s she gone?” Charlotte huffs, eyes searching the room for the pink haired girl.

“She’s over there,” Phoebe points at Julien and they all turn to where she’s pointing at, spotting Julien near the bar with a drink in hand.

“Is she flirting?”

“She’s got groupies already?” she says after she takes her eyes off of Harry and everyone laughs.

Charlotte comes closer and nudges her shoulder against her, “You’d know, wouldn’t you?” “Be quiet,” she nudges back, and their group falls back into their conversation except Harry, who keeps staring at her and she gulps, hands reaching to feel her blazer pockets.

“Right,” she mutters, “It’s time to poison myself. I’m going out for a fag,” once she feels the bulge in her pocket, she turns to Charlotte, “Send me a text when she’s back on, yeah?”

“I’ll come with.”

She looks up at Harry, surprised, but nods, waiting for him to follow her outside. Even though she tries her best not to make eye contact with anyone as they leave, she’s aware of them watching them, everyone in their group equally surprised, but they keep walking, Harry following quietly behind. Once they pass the smelly bodies, they’re finally outside, the wind licking her face once she steps out and she tries to hug herself closer, seeing how the thin blazer’s not doing a good job at keeping her warm.

Harry wishes he’d brought a coat.

They’re quiet as he follows her to a quiet corner, only a few people turning their heads their way, presumably recognising him, and they stop near a brick wall and she takes her tobacco out of her left pocket. She looks up, catching him staring at her ring-clad fingers wrapped around the dark green packet, and she clears her throat, making him look up at her. They share a smile, both feeling at ease with the comfortable silence between them. She spots a wooden bench near and sits down, hands already working the packet open. When she starts tearing the tobacco apart, Harry can’t help but note how quickly she’s working it between her fingers, and he’s almost certain she’s been doing this for years.

“Want one?” She asks and he saunters forward, coming to stand in front of her with hands in his pockets.

He shrugs and she takes that as a yes, fingers pausing their work on the tobacco to take out something that resembles a cigarette and it’s only when she pushes it from the bottom that Harry realises they’re filters. Placing one between her lips, her fingers dip into her pocket once again to retrieve some papers and Harry finds himself unable to look away from her lips and how pretty they look with something between them.

He looks down at her lap, where the packet of tobacco is, seeing her fingers work swiftly as she fills the thin paper, and despite knowing better not to glamorise something as horrible and disgusting as smoking, he takes his time to admire the way she pushes down the tobacco with her index finger, presumably trying to fit and secure everything inside the paper. Taking the filter from between her lips, she places it inside the paper, at the very end, and her fingers start rolling.

Oh fuck, he thinks, knowing what’s about to come. Unable to look away, he watches as she brings it up to her mouth and licks a long stripe along the paper, and despite the lack of lighting around them, his eyes make out her pink tongue moving along the paper and it doesn’t come as a surprise when he feels a sudden twitch in his trousers at the unholy image before his eyes.

“There,” she hands him the rolled up cigarette, “Hope you don’t mind that I licked?”

He wants to laugh because of course he doesn’t mind. In fact, he quite enjoyed it, according to the knot in his stomach and his twitching cock in his underwear. He enjoyed it so much that he now couldn’t stop imagining her mouth doing other things, preferably dirty things with, or to him.

“Nah, it’s all good, thanks.”

“No probs. Didn’t take you as the smoking type,” she lets it slip out.

“I...don’t smoke, really. Only sometimes. When I’m drinking. Which…” He looks at the cigarette between her fingers, “...isn’t that often.”

She notices the nervousness that tinges his words, and it makes her feel better knowing he’s also as awkward as her. “Fair,” she sends him a smile and repeats all the steps on her own rollie, putting it between her lips just like Harry, and she takes her lighter out of the same pocket. She lights her own first and reaches to light his, and he sort of bends over until his cigarette reaches the lighter. They both take a hefty drag of their cigarettes and she blows the smoke out first, Harry watching her pursed lips as he lets out his own next, both of their cigarette smoke swirling in the air and joining in together.

He takes it out of his mouth and lets his arm dangle on his side, cigarette between his fingers, and watches as she takes another drag before fumbling with the packet on her lap, putting everything back in her pocket haphazardly.

“Do you go to uni in London, or?”

“Westminster, yeah,” she takes another drag and notices how Harry hasn’t taken another one of his since.

“Nice,” he says and a grin stretches over his face, “Charlotte talks about you a lot.”

“She does?”

“Yeah, all the time. If I didn’t know about her boyfriend I’d say she was in love with you,” he laughs and gestured to the lighter in her hand and she lets him take the lighter from her hand, watching as the flame lick at the cigarette between Harry’s lip and he takes a long drag. “I mean, we...the band feel like we already know you. It’s sweet, how much she cares about you.”

“Well, I’m pretty hard not to love, you know.”

He blows out the smoke, a chuckle escaping his mouth, “That right?”

“Yeah, I’m fucking great.”

“Well, I-”

He gets interrupted by her phone going off and a pout forms on his face. She huffs, looking around, then throws the cigarette on the ground despite the sign and he does the same, not feeling bad in the slightest. “We going in?” He asks, like a lost puppy waiting for his owner’s command.

“I guess. Is it bad that I don’t want to? Like...does that make me a bad friend?”

“Nah. I...I kinda wanted to stay here too. I was enjoying our conversation.”

She sends him a grin, eyes mischievous, and stops walking, “You telling me you weren’t bored to death by my dry ass conversation?”

“Dry? You opened up and talked about your narcissistic behaviours, that’s not boring, darling,” he smirks and she rolls her eyes, hand reaching to slap his chest and it feels easy, like they’ve known each other for years. “Alright, alright, ’m just messing with you.”

She starts walking again, a few steps ahead of him, and he follows, passing three girls with phones up to their faces.

It’s easy, he thinks, it’s easy with her.

People in the bar begin to leave one by one, and it’s only their small group and a few others left, some of them still sipping their drinks and the others talking and laughing. Some even come up to Julien, who’s sipping her water from a reusable water bottle as Charlotte keeps snapping pictures of her, and they all congratulate her, telling her how excited they are about the EP. She’s all smiles, fringe sticking to her forehead due to sweat, and her long arms are equally sweaty, dressed in a tight black dress with striped knee high socks adorning her long legs, and a pair of platform Mary Janes.

“So,” Harry says, folding his arms across his chest, “Do you have any plans for October?”

Mitch snorts across him and Julien tilts her head, puzzled, “Erm...I’ve no idea, to be honest. It’s months away and God knows I’m shite at thinking ahead. That’s why I’m friends with this lot,” she gestures to their tiny group, causing Charlotte to snort and Julien continues, turning her attention to her who’s playing with the hem of her blazer,  “This one though...”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“Oi, what’s crawled up your bum, eh?” Julien turns to Harry again, catching how his gaze flickered over her body, then her face instead of looking at Julien and she finds herself smirking at the tension between the two.

“We’re thinking of putting a show together for Halloween. I have a bunch of new and upcoming artists in my mind that I’d love to see perform that night. Would you be interested?” Harry’s attention is back on Julien and he watches as the girl gasps, eyes widening in excitement.

“Shut the fuck up!” She yells, almost dropping her water bottle and they all laugh, Charlotte reaching to flip her on the forehead and she slaps her freshly-manicured hand away, “You’re not taking the piss, are you?”

Harry laughs, “Am definitely not. I love your vibe. That’s actually one of the reasons why I asked Charlotte if I could come tonight,” he says as he runs his fingers through his hair, the strands gliding easily between his long fingers.

“Yeah,” Charlotte smiles at Julien, “He’s on a hunt. He thinks he’s one of those talent agents. Just say yes, Jules, it’ll be fun.”

“Holy fuck. Yes. Fuck, yes. Of fucking course, yes!”

They all laugh when she lunges herself at Harry, arms wrapping around his neck, “Thank you, thank you, thank you, fuck I could literally kiss you right now but I won’t, I’ve been watching you both undress each other with your eyes all night,” arms still around Harry’s neck, Julien turns her head towards her, whom Harry’s been looking at all night, and gives her a wink before breaking their hug. “So, do I have to do anything? What do I have to do? Fuck, I’m so bad at this-”

“Hey,” Harry interrupts, “It’s fine. Relax. Are you signed with anyone? Have a manager?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m with Gleam, my manager, Alana, she’s sick that’s why she wasn't here tonight.”

“Okay, that’s fine. Just give me your phone number and your manager’s contact details and we’ll sort everything out. Hey- relax, it’s gonna be fun!” He reaches and gives her shoulder a squeeze.

“I called an Uber,” Sarah says after her phone goes off, “And it looks like…” she taps on the screen a few times, “Hassan is here.”

“We could’ve gotten maccies,” she says, pouting, as her head rests on Charlotte’s shoulder.

Sarah sighs, cuddling closer into Mitch’s side, “We’re leaving for Brighton tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah, Sarah’s making us wake up at, like, five,” Mitch grumbles.

They all start walking towards the exit, Julien and Harry in the back talking about the show as Charlotte links her arm with her as they follow behind the others. As they walk, she remembers how Harry arrived with Sarah and Mitch, meaning they shared a ride, and she turns to look at Harry who seems to be in deep conversation as he waves his hands around.

She feels hot all of a sudden, remembering how neither of them wanted to go inside earlier, how good he looked and how his voice sounded, deep, so deep, when his attention was only on her and not the girl on the stage or his drink or the people around them. As selfish as it sounds, she wanted all his attention on her, she wanted him to only look at her, see her, think of her, and she feels foolish because they only met tonight, and their conversation earlier didn’t last that long.

Once they’re outside, everyone sighs, almost in relief as the fresh air fills their lungs, and everyone bids their goodbyes to Sarah and Mitch, then Phoebe starts complaining about how uncomfortable and tired she was.

“That’s it from us, folks, my wife needs a shower,” Jamie pinches Phoebe’s cheek as Phoebe blushes, swatting her hand away.

She turns to Harry for a second and he’s just standing there, arms folded with an expression she’s unable to read, and Julien laughs, muttering something about catching a black cab since she now has money to waste.

Everyone leaves and it’s only them, and Charlotte comes closer to her as she nudges her hip with hers, “Hey. Is it cool if Harry gives you a ride? Tom’s picking me up.”

She panics and gives her a puzzled look. A car ride with Harry. Alone. Just the two of them.

She swallows, “How come you never mention it?”

“He just texted me, we’re driving up to Manc. Will you be okay?” She reaches and strokes her cheek, then turns to Harry, as if the question was directed at both of them.

“Well, yeah...I mean- I’ll call a Bolt or something-”

“It’s fine, I can give you a ride,” Harry says, hands now in his pockets. He looks like he’s cold too, considering how he’s only wearing a thin shirt and his chest is on full display, letting the breeze softly lick at the flesh.

“I wouldn’t want to be a bother, I can take a Bolt. Really, it’s fine.”

“I insist...whereabouts is your place?”

“Ehm,” she sniffs and her eyes look for Charlotte for a moment, and when she spots her, she’s watching them despite the phone pressed against her ear. “Marylebone.”

“Great! That alright with you?”

She looks at Charlotte again, the short haired girl failing to meet her gaze, and she turns to Harry again, lips pursed, “I guess- I mean...sure. Okay.”

Harry beams at that, the dimple on his left cheek widening with the smile, and she wants to reach out and touch it, place her finger there. She doesn’t though. Instead, she gives him a smile and looks down at her boots, feeling all giddy inside with the realisation that she’d be alone with Harry for a while and it would also be away from any prying eyes, in the warmth of his car.

Charlotte comes back and reaches for her, giving her a big hug as she buries her head in her neck, and she involuntarily breathes in the smell of cigarettes and Charlotte’s personal favourite, Chanel no. 5.

“Text me when you’re home, yeah? And text me if you need anything...he’s nice, I promise,” she whispers the last part, as if she’s letting her in on a secret, then reaches for Harry to give him a hug.

“Drive safe,” she says, walking backwards, “I mean it.”

“I will. Precious cargo, am I right?”

Harry opens the door for her and waits for her to get in, her lips form the words ‘thank you’, and once they’re both inside, seatbelts on, Harry sighs and tries to fix his creased shirt. She watches his hands, the rings catching the light coming from a lamppost outside, creating beams, and she notices the single, nearly-chipped gold nail polish on his left pinky.

“So…” they both say at the same time and he laughs, shaking his head, and a few strands fall to his eyes.

She chuckles too, eyes falling to her hands on her lap as she fiddles with them. “I think we’ve been set up,” she mumbles and looks up at him, finding him watching her carefully with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on his thigh.

“Yeah? You think so?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m usually not this dumb.”

“Maybe you wanted play dumb, hm?” He gives her a smile, causing her to scoff, and he surprises them both when his left hand reaches to stroke her cheek, making goosebumps appear on her skin and she swears she could hear her breath hitch at the warm touch, feeling hot all over.

They stare at each other, his hand still on her cheek, and she swallows, “Sure, whatever you say.”

“Is this okay?” He asks, gesturing at the touch, voice as soft and smooth as honey.

She nods, because it is. It is more than okay and if it were up to her, they’d already be kissing, tasting each other’s dirty, sweaty skin and touching each other all over, feeling each other’s bodies...she wanted all of that.

She swallows again, his gaze shifting from her face to her neck, then lower and lower until it reaches her boobs. They look divine, he thinks, despite the lack of lighting in his car, they look absolutely gorgeous, sort of spilling out from the lace material and he gulps, hand beginning to make its way down to her neck. He rests it there as long fingers caress the side of her neck, discovering a few moles there, and he looks up at her, only to find her eyes fixed on his lap. He looks down to, the slight tent not coming as a surprise, and he gives her a grin, the other hand coming to rest atop his bulge.

“Hm?” He hums as he waits for her answer despite knowing what she would say.

She clears her throat and looks around, seeing the almost empty parking lot all dark except the stop sign near the exit, and turns her attention back to Harry.

“Yes. It’s okay.”

“Mmm,” his fingers curl around her throat, thumb stroking the flesh there, “Thank you, love. Can I kiss you?”

“You can...Please,” she practically moans when his thumb presses a sweet spot on her neck and he gives her a smile, hand reaching to unbuckle both of their seatbelts with a click.

It doesn’t happen that fast. First, he gives her a look, almost as if he’s trying to remember where her lips are and the nose, then her eyes...he keeps looking, and looking, and he brings his hand up to her mouth, resting his thumb on her bottom lip as her eyes shift downwards with the movement. While he watches her, she takes her time to watch him, his face, and she feels something bubbling inside her, much like the bubbles that rise to the top when you open a coke bottle.

Pressure, she thinks, pressure and the need to devour him. Thus, without thinking too much, she reaches and grabs him by the nape of his neck, his hand falling atop the car seat as their lips meet, both of them hungry for each other’s touch as their teeth clash and Harry lets out a hiss when she bites his bottom lip, suckining it into her mouth.

His hands go up to her cheeks, pushing her far enough to look into her face and eyes in particular and he smiles, the inside of his palms feeling the soft peach fuzz on her face. When she lunges forward to continue their kiss, he stops her, thumb stroking her cheekbones as she lets out a huff, and he chuckles, “Slow, baby, slow. We’ve got time. I want to feel you, taste you as much as I can, yeah?”

She nods, letting him stroke the side of her face some more and feel her skin against his soft hands before he starts leaning in, this time slow, so slow that it feels like hours to her. Before she closes her eyes, she catches a glimpse of his pink tongue dart out to lick his lips, and he finally captures her top lip, sucking it into his mouth softly and she melts under his touch, her mouth pursed as she starts responding with her own kisses. Their lips, she feels, fit together like a puzzle piece.

Harry’s tongue swipes across her bottom lip and she opens wider, letting him lick into her mouth further. It’s hot, wet, and she feels herself getting wetter and wetter as the smooch noises grow louder with each kiss. His hands are now cupping both of her cheeks, and as he presses wet pecks on her parted mouth, one of his thumbs travel down to her mouth and he stops their kiss, and she opens her eyes, giving him a puzzled look.

He shushes her, lips pursed as he does so, and her eyes watches the movement, wanting to feel them all over her body now that she knows how he feels and tastes like. He presses his thumb against her bottom lip, then into her mouth and pulls her closer to him. He shuts his eyes and tilts his head when she closes her mouth around his thumb, sucking it like a lolly, and his cock twitches in his trousers again as he watches the way she sucks on his flesh, humming around it as if she’s having the most delicious meal of her life.

“Fuck, baby,” he rasps, “Y’like playing with me, don’t you?”

She doesn’t respond. Instead, she takes his thumb out of her mouth with a pop and she holds him by the wrist, placing his hand on one of her boobs and Harry lets her warm hands and the feeling of lace overpower him as he gives her boob a squeeze, then travels his hand down to where he supposes her nipple is and brushes a thumb over it, a beaming grin stretching across his face when he feels her pebbled nipple under his thumb.

When he looks at her face, she’s biting her lips, eyes shut, and he bites his own lips as he traps her covered nipple between his thumb and index finger, tweaking it gently which causes her to breathe out a moan, toes curling involuntarily inside her boots. He tugs at it, then his hand travels up and he looks at her, as if to ask her permission for what he’s about to do. And she nods, of course she does, and she feels her upper torso getting sore from the position they’ve been in but she lets it go, reaching for his hand near her boob and places it on top of his, encouraging him to keep going.

With her hand on top of his, he slides the bodysuit down from the top, and he feels his cock twitch in interest so he has to bring his other hand down to press against his bulge over his trousers in hopes of relieving some of the tension. He plays with her nipple, tweaking and squeezing it between his fingers before finally leaning to capture the pebbled nipple into his mouth. “God damn, your tits...so fuckin’ hot, baby,” he bites her nipple and she shudders, back arching in pleasure. “Wanna do everything with you...wanna fuck you- wanna fuck these tits,” he whispers against her nipple, now wet with his spit, and his hot breath sends chills down her spine.

It’s warm, his mouth, so warm and wet around her hard nipples and she lets out another moan, arms wrapping around his neck and she tries to press against him closer. “Fuck,” a moan leaver her mouth, “Please, Harry, fuck me. Do something, just- ‘m so wet.”

“Yeah? Want me to fuck you? Jesus,” he presses a kiss to her nipple before he frees her other boob from the fabric, “You’re so fuckin’ hot. Got me so fuckin’ hard, just look at these gorgeous tits, baby. Bet your cunt’s even more gorgeous, hm?” He whispers, hands already on the other boob, squeezing the nipple and he watches as it hardens, looking so pretty and puckered for him and he gets his mouth on that one too, licking across the nipple before he bites it into his mouth.

“Can I take this off, sweetheart?” He touches her shoulder, squeezing her there over the blazer, and when he sees the hesitation in her eyes, he travels his hand up to her neck and strokes it there, “Y’don’t have to, darling. However you’re comfortable.”

“No,” she says ever so softly, “It’s okay.”

He smiles at her as she takes the jacket off and throws it somewhere at her feet. Harry grabs her by the neck and brings her in for another kiss but this time, it’s slow. And sweet. Slow, sweet, and warm, so warm that she feels it in her chest, in her stomach, and it reaches everywhere, the kiss warming anything and everything inside her. He swipes a tongue across her bottom lip before pulling away, and places both hands on her boobs, squeezing them, mouth popping open as he watches them in awe.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he brings one of his hands to the front of his trousers and the heels of his palms press against the bulge, but instead of giving him some relief, the touch makes him hiss, wishing for something softer, warmer.

“Can I fuck you? I need to fuck you, please, sweetheart,” he whispers and she nods, tongue darting out to lick her dry lips and he nods as well, looking around inside the car, swiftly examining the tinted black windows before he turns to her, “I hate that I’m about to fuck that pretty pussy in the backseat of my car instead of a comfortable bed but I need it so bad, sweetheart, I need you,” he licks his lips, “That okay?”

“Yes...more than.”

He helps her move to the backseat, boobs still hanging from the top, and he joins her in the backseat quickly. They’re closer now, nothing serving as a barrier between them, and with the way they’re facing each other, she can make out a tiny pimple on the side of his nose as well as a little mole on his forehead. Her gaze falls to his bulge again, and he’s already fumbling to get them off. With a swallow, she shuts her eyes so she doesn’t see Harry watching her intently, dilated pupils fixated on her sweaty skin, her lips in particular.

He leans in and presses an open mouth kiss to her damp skin, the touch making her open her eyes.

Take it off” she whispers, voice as sweet as honey, “Come on, I want you to fuck me,” she breathes against his hair, his head now in the crook of her neck, and she feels him nod, his hands coming to rest atop hers.

He fumbles with the button with shaky hands, her hands coming to rest on Harry’s waist and he sighs in relief when he hears the zipper. He lowers his trousers along with his underwear clumsily, the pile of material pooling around his ankles. He’s hard and leaking already, the tip an angry shade of red, and she takes a few seconds to admire the thickness of his cock and how pretty it looks, his dark, coarse pubic hair making her mouth water as she imagines deepthroating him, nuzzling the hair at the base of his cock.

Harry looks up and she’s got one hand on her boob while the other rubs herself through her jeans, presumably feeling aroused with the way the fabric is feeling against her pussy. A low, choked ‘fuck’ leaves his mouth following a growl as his long fingers begin unbuttoning the beige shirt and she watches, bottom lip trapped between her teeth with fingers rubbing herself.

Once it’s unbuttoned, he’s quick to get his hands on her jeans, eyes briefly searching for something in hers before he starts unbuttoning them. She stops him and bends over to take her boots off and he watches her back, hand reaching involuntarily to travel his fingers down her spine, stroking her waist before he bends forward to place a kiss on there as she keeps fumbling with her boots. Once they’re off, he’s quick to help her get the jeans off too, and he throws them in the front seat, smiling when she hears her giggle.

“Alright, Miss Giggles?” he says softly, palm resting on top of her thigh as one of his hands reaches and strokes the side of her face, fingers playing in her wild strands of hair.

She bites her lip again, giving him a nod, and he brings her face into his, lips pressing a tender kiss to her chin before he opens his mouth slightly and grazes his teeth across the flesh, and he presses a final, loud kiss there before he pulls away with a pop, leaving her chin all shiny and wet with his saliva. He lowers his eyes and spots her thong, fabric too tiny and flimsy to cover all the areas of her pussy, and he lets out a groan at the sight, hand immediately reaching to touch what’s under her little thong.

“So pretty, darling...so, so pretty,” he murmurs and she watches with parted legs as he positions his middle finger against her pussy over the black lace, thin, so he feels just how warm and wet she is between her folds. This makes him pause to look down at his cock, just to make sure he’s not about to spill all over the carseat since he feels the pleasure at the tip of his cock, ready to explode right then and there. “How can anyone ever resist you, hm? This pretty girl…” with one hand still between her legs, he reaches with his other hand and ghosts his thumb over her nipple, his other hand working her thong as he pulls it to the side, “...this pretty pussy,” he murmurs, making her eyes lull shut at the compliments.

She parts her legs wider to give him more room to work with, and he grins as he looks up at her hungry eyes, knowing what she’s asking for. And god, is he about to give her what she wants. The way she looks, not just half naked but from the moment he’d caught a glimpse of the grumpy girl across the room, it’s been driving him insane. Not that she was rude or looked bored, but she looked cute, kinda nervous, as if she too was as uncomfortable as Harry by the prying eyes and tipsy chatter around them.

From the moment they were introduced, Harry knew she didn’t particularly like to be looked at. Maybe he was being judgmental, or reading too much into things, but he got the impression that she was sort of nervous to be around people, especially new people. He tried his hardest not to be some weirdo, an utter creep who kept looking at the beautiful girl across him but truth be told, it wasn’t the first time Harry had seen the girl’s face.

He knew of her, stories about her, from Charlotte, and saw numerous photos and throwback videos of them on Charlotte’s Instagram, but he would never actually admit to the fact that he’d clicked on her tag on one of Charlotte’s posts, and scrolled through her feed for hours, giggling from time to time at her silly captions and numerous pictures of a Golden Retriever and a black cat cuddling.

Yes, he might have found her interesting, took a few screenshots of her posts where she proudly displayed her favourite reads, immediately ordering everything on there, and a few funny memes, but now with his middle finger circling her clit, he would never, ever admit any of that to anyone, ever.

“Harry,” she breathes, and it sounds sort of harsh, rough even, the reason presumably being a mix of the cigarettes she’d been smoking and the way his finger teasingly, slowly moves over her pussy. “Harry…” she says again, melodiously, fingers curling around his wrist and he looks up with a grin, eyes almost evil, dark and pupils dilated from hunger bubbling up inside him.

He retracts his finger and brings it up to his mouth slowly, her eyes watching him like a hawk, and his pink tongue darts out, licking a long stripe up his middle finger and he truly devours the savoury taste, eyes finding hers as he sucks the finger into his mouth. “Taste so good, sweetheart,” he murmurs, “Want me to play with that beautiful cunt, hm? Give it my full attention?”

“Yes, please, I need it so bad, I’ve been waiting for so long.”

“Yeah?” He asks, ever so softly, “How long?” He presses, his middle finger once again placed between her wet folds, and she wraps her fingers around his wrist.

There’s a bloom of pleasure in her voice when she lets out a shaky breath, a stuttered ’yeah’ because she doesn’t want to give in to Harry’s teasing game, and he leans forward, capturing her chin with his mouth as he bites the flesh while the pads of his finger massages slow and deep over her swollen clit.

He feels the spongy bit under his touch, “Tell me you’ve been thinking of this too,” he breathes against her wet chin, then brings his middle finger down to her hole. It’s wet, so fucking wet when he drags his finger back up and circles her clit faster than before which makes her legs kick out in pleasure, one hand grabbing harshly at her boob as the other go up to Harry’s soft hair and she pulls, fingernails scratching his scalp while doing so. He groans against her skin and drags his finger down to her slick little hole again, circling around the wet, soft muscle and he pushes his finger in, her cunt making a wet, lovely sound as he does so as his eyes fall to his throbbing cock.

It’s so hard, an unpleasant feeling blooming inside, so he takes his finger out of her hole, making her let out a tiny whimper as she clenches around nothing with the sudden loss of his touch. Harry brings his finger up to his mouth, and his pink tongue darts out to lick, mouth closing around to devour the slightly salty slickness.

“Can I fuck you now?” He asks as his hand goes to stroke the side of her neck, goosebumps appearing immediately at the touch. She shudders, unable to respond and Harry’s voice is softer this time, “Can I, baby? Will you let me fuck your pretty pussy now? I need it so bad, sweetheart, so fucking bad. See how hard I am for you? So fucking hard for you, baby.”

“God,” another shaky breath, “Please, I’m so wet and horny- I need it, Harry, please.”

“Need my cock, yeah? Need me to fill that little hole? Stretch your tiny little hole, darling?”

“Fuck- please, I- please stop teasing me, I need it...please, fuck me.”

Harry feels something, a prickly sensation inside him, his groin tightening, and he knows it’s her dirty mouth and sweet face to blame. He looks down at his cock, hard as rock between his legs, and grabs her by the waist, pulling her on top of him with ease. “There, sweet girl.”

He lets out a hiss when her warm pussy makes contact with his cock and she bites her lip, leaning forward until their sweaty foreheads meet. “Your pussy’s so fuckin’ warm. Shit, we need condoms,” a strong arm wraps around her waist and she gasps when he leans forward so suddenly. His face is buried into her boobs as he tries to retrieve his wallet from one of the compartments in between and she watches him struggle, unable to control a tiny laugh escaping her mouth.

“Well,” Harry mumbles, warm lips making her skin feel all tingly, “This is lovely...mmm,” a few kisses are pressed between her boobs, then another open mouth one on her left nipple, and they’re finally back to their previous position, condom package between Harry’s lips as he rips the top, never once taking his eyes off of her while doing so.

“Ready for me?” He gives himself a few lazy pulls, thumbing at the tip while she watches, one hand kneading her boob. “Hm? Ready to take my cock?” He moves his hand slowly, up and down, causing her to swallow.

“Yeah...fuck yeah. Please, fuck me.”

He looks up at her as the rubber works its way down his cock, and she joins her arms around his neck, fingers playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck, and he brings his cock to her cunt, earning a moan from her, her warm breath licking at his face ever so softly. He grunts, voice strained with pleasure when he feels how warm and wet she is at the touch of his cock and slides it against her warmth before he brings it down to her tight little hole and pauses there.

“Y’ready, sweet girl?” He nudges their foreheads together and it’s sweet, so sweet despite the position they’re in, and she nods, feeling their damp foreheads stick together, and Harry gives her a bright smile, dimple appearing on his left cheek.

And he pushes it in. With his thumb pressed against the tip, he pushes his cock inside her, the tightness squeezing his already sensitive cock as if she doesn’t want to let him go, as if she wants to keep him inside of her forever and ever.

“God, such a tight cunt, baby. Squeezing me already, hm?” He murmurs into her mouth, “Easy, darling...slow. Slow, yeah? Want to feel you properly,” his hands go up to her hips, holding her there to still the movement of her hips, and her arms loop around his sweaty neck, fingernails scratching the back of his neck and he hisses, face moving forward to press a bruising kiss on her parted mouth.

Once she calms down, hips stilled, his strong arms begin moving her up and down and they both moan, quick breaths leaving their mouths and mixing together just like how their bodies are almost joined together, two becoming one, and Harry starts moving his own hips so he can fuck into her as she helps her by moving her own hips up and down, slowly, just like he’d asked her to, feeling his cock stretching her tight hole with his every move. There’s a honking outside and both their movements still for a second, and a muffled chuckle leaves her mouth, arms tightening around Harry’s neck.

Their eyes meet, Harry’s mouth turning upwards, “What’s so funny, Miss Giggles, hm?” He murmurs as his hips speed up again, their skins slapping against each other as his cock strokes the insides of her walls ever so softly, sliding in and out of her.

“Jesus, you’re so fucking big, I- I knew you’d be big but...fuck, you’re so good, so fucking good, Harry,” she moans, earning a grunt from him as she meets his thrusts, her hands sliding down to Harry’s shoulders and squeezing his smooth skin briefly before she brings her palms down to her chest.

She strokes the hair on his chest, admiring the way his cross necklace sits proudly there, amongst his now damp chest hair, and she brings her palm to one of his nipples, thumb stroking the slightly darker nub and he lets out a groan as goosebumps appear on his chest and nipples.

“God,” she breathes and Harry can smell the fruity-sour alcohol on her breath, and his mouth pops open when she tweaks his sensitive nipples. “I love your nipples,” she moans again when his cock brushes that sweet spot inside her and he does too, arms tightening around her waist, and she tweaks his nipples again, this time harder as her hips speed up, ass slapping against his meaty thighs and she keeps jumps up on down on his cock.

As she does so, her boobs too move, bouncing up and down with her every movement and Harry reaches with one hand, capturing one of her nipples between his fingers as he tweaks left and right before letting it go, watching her skin prickle at the touch.

“Shit, y’feel amazing, just wanna keep you forever,” he groans, low and delirious, fingernails digging into her waist as he thrusts into her, “So fuckin’ tight around me...so tight and snug. I want you- want this everyday. Wanna be able to touch you, kiss that little face everyday, fuck this beautiful pussy...so good, darling, you’re so fuckin’ good, letting me fuck that sweet cunt in the backseat, hm? Are you good,” he breathes her name into her mouth, then bites her bottom lip, earning a gasp from her when his thrusts become particularly rough. “Are you a good girl?”

“Yes, yes, yes, I’m good, I’m so good, please- I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna fucking cum please keep fucking me, keep fucking me hard, Harry- keep going,” she speeds up her movements, Harry’s cock sliding in and out of her as wet, dirty sounds fill the car and he curses under his breath, hips lifting off the seat to meet her strokes.

“Are you close?” He manages to ask, a low grunt in his voice.

She doesn’t respond. Instead, she brings one hand down to her pussy and begins rubbing her clit, moaning when she touches the little nub and then, with her other hand, she reaches for Harry’s face, thumb stroking the side of the smooth skin before she places it on his bottom lip and presses hard, making him part his mouth. She pushes it in, eyes lulling shut at the feeling of his warm tongue as he sucks on her thumb, hips continuing their movements as he fucks her cunt with quick, rough thrusts.

When she opens her eyes, Harry’s watching her, sweat glistening on his forehead and she brings her finger down to where Harry’s cock meets her warmth and rubs the top of his cock, moaning when she feels the vein there. She brings it up to her clit again, all wet and warm, and she rubs harder with rough strokes as Harry juts his hips forward a few more times. “I’m gonna cum, fuck- I’m gonna fuckin’ cum, baby,” his grip tightens on her waist and she places her hands on his shoulder, squeezing there.

“Come on me, I want it on my tits,” she mutters, fingernails digging into the smooth skin of his shoulders and he lets out a grunt, pulling out quickly as she gets down, Harry’s legs parting immediately so she can get between them.

And she does, gets on her knees between Harry’s parted legs as he takes the condom off, hissing at the feeling as he tosses it somewhere on the floor, and he begins stroking his now-wet cock as she thumbs at her nipples, kneading her boobs before pushing them together. His wrist works harder and quicker at the sight and he finally comes undone, his warm cum spilling onto her boobs, decorating her soft flesh with white stripes and she looks down, watching with sparkling eyes.

“God, fuck,” he breathes, letting his head tilt back, “You’re something else, y’know that?”

She hums, sending him a grin as he gives himself three more lazy strokes before he lets go of his cock and watches the spattered cum against her skin separate with the movement when she lets them go.

“Got some on your top, sorry, love.”

She looks down, then swipes a thumb across her skin and brings it up to her mouth. Pushing it in, she sucks around her digit as she tastes the salty-sour taste and Harry watches, all wrecked and fucked out.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“You’re so naughty...come up here,” his ring-clad fingers reach for her wrist and he helps her sit next to him.

He reaches the little pocket behind one of the seats, taking out some tissues as she watches him take out a few and clean her up as much as he can. Then their eyes meet, both sleepy and wrecked, and he lifts his hand up to her cheek, stroking it, and she leans into the touch, making him smile. “You’re lovely,” he mumbles, hand still on her cheek.

“You’re lovelier.”

He chuckles as she fixes her top, “You really are. Really lovely.”

“Stop it, I’m not good with compliments.”

“Well,” he shrugs, reaching for his trousers on the front seat, “I said what I said. You hungry? Thirsty?”

“I’m kinda thirsty. Aren’t you?”

As they lean against the bonnet of Harry’s car, now parked outside a McDonald’s, there’s a comfortable silence between them as they sip their waters, bodies close to each other, close enough for Harry to smell his faint cologne on her skin.

“You cold still?”  He turns to her as she takes a bite of her chocolate muffin, and he follows as a few crumbs land on her chest.

“I’m good. Feel very warm...ed up,” she chuckles, thumbing at the corners of her mouth.

Harry groans, nudging her with his shoulders and she nudges back, harder, and he gasps, “Oi, be nice. I’m feeding you.”

“Soz. Guess I owe you like...what is it, a fiver?”

“You’re a very mean girl.”

“I’m the nicest. I’m good,” she gives him a grin, earning another eye roll from him as she takes another sip of her water before placing it on the floor, “Seriously though, thanks for the muffin.”

“Don’t mention it. I’m kinda bummed you turned down the nuggets but…maybe next time?”

“Next time?” She asks, crossing her arms, trying to warm herself up despite her promise from earlier.

“Well,” he clears his throat, hand going up to his necklace, “I’d love to see you sometime. Again. Preferably for longer than an hour and...you know, just us two? Hanging out?”

She smiles and leans forward, taking him by surprise when she presses their lips together. It’s a sweet, slow kiss, and his hands grab the back of her neck, pressing their faces closer as they kiss. Her hands find his waist and she gets on her feet, coming to stand between his legs without breaking their kiss, and she loops her arms around his neck, smiling when he moans at the feeling of her fingers playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck.

He tastes the muffin, the chocolate, and himself, and as foolish as it sounds, he wishes there was a way to be closer to her somehow, closer than they already are at this moment. She pulls away, their foreheads pressing together as they smile at each other.

Harry scrunches his nose and smiles, bringing it forward so their noses touch, “What was that for?” He whispers, hands tight around her waist as he hugs her closer.

“Just felt like it...just felt like kissing you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I like kissing you. I liked kissing you a lot tonight.”

He smiles, nose booping against hers once again, “I liked kissing you a lot too. I’d like to kiss you a lot tomorrow. And maybe the day after that.”

“That’s fine by me. You can kiss me tomorrow...and the day after that,” she whispers, pressing their bodies together.

Harry closes his eyes, taking a deep breath as she watches with curious gaze, eyes crinkling with a smile.

“What are you doing,” she whispers, and he shushes her, smiling when he opens his eyes to find her staring with her eyebrows raised, “What are you doing?” She asks again and he squeezes her waist, forehead pressing against her once again and he leans in closer to press a tiny kiss on the corner of her mouth.

“I’m listening,” he whispers, lips almost touching hers as he speaks.

“Listening? What are you listening to?”

He strokes her cheek, “A song.”

She raises her eyebrow again, “What song? I can’t hear it. Are you- you’re not actually serious, are you?”

“Ssh, it’s a song. Listen,”

“Har-ry,” she groans, pressing her forehead on the crook of his neck, “What is it?”

Harry smiles, arms hugging her closer as she presses a tiny kiss to the side of his neck, “Aubade.”

SEND ME YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT AUBADE AND PLEASE REBLOG THE FICS YOU’VE READ AND ENJOYED TO SUPPORT AND MOTIVATE WRITERS <3

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles one shot #harry styles x y/n

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x6 thoughts

I felt like the physical embodiment of a series of iconic reaction GIFs while watching this episode. I felt like Higgins gagging on air and right and wrong choices. As an invested, non-casual Ted Lasso viewer, I feel quite absorbed in the experience of every episode, but I’m not usually a LOUD non-casual Ted Lasso viewer. At one point last night, I shouted “This is the wackiest show ever made!” at @bristler, and that doesn’t even sound like something I would say. And by “wacky” I just meant “all the emotions are happening at once.”

This episode was absolutely great and I knew that every single Rebecca Welton feeling I have would intensify because of this episode and that is exactly what happened.

This is me bravely writing down my episode thoughts after only one viewing (just like last week) and a bad night of sleep! Copious spoilers and emotions ahead...

This show goes all in on hats! A lot of bad hats for giving bad relationship advice and making bad decisions! Feel like you’re gonna do something correctly? Just put on a bad hat, that’ll snap you right out of it. Just had a revelation that you are almost certainly in an abusive relationship? Your girlfriend is hiding in the parking lot with a terrible hat for you! (I love this show.)

Dark forest dark forest dark forest dark forest.

I truly, truly, truly do not mean this to sound judgmental of any other fan, but it’s taking everything in my power not to just type “dark forest” in the comments of every person who is outraged that LDN152 is not Ted.

Gonna get my initial thoughts on the Sam=LDN152 reveal out of the way. I honestly like this choice.

First, I like this choice because of who LDN152 isn’t. I think about how awful it would be if she’d matched with Rupert and realized she’d been manipulated by him and charmed by him all over again, and how, when she gets the same reveal the audience already has, she would end up retraumatized by having been charmed and taken in by Rupert all over again. I think about her matching with Nate (if he’d redownloaded the app) and the inadequacy of her assertiveness advice and how Nate is one of the only non-Rupert characters who’s used sexist language against her and how Nate’s insecurities would be like water trying to co-exist with the oil of Rebecca’s insecurities. Nate and Rebecca are fond of each other and seem to want to be in each other’s lives, but a romantic squishing together via dating app would set them both back lightyears. I think about her matching with Ted, a man currently on a parallel-to-Rebecca trek through a very painfully dark forest, a man swinging wildly between performative attempted wit and utter panic. A man she trusts with her professional and personal challenges. [Her challenging mother comes to town and Keeley and Ted are the people she wants with her at lunch.] Ted and Rebecca, with all their current limitations, and with all the ways the forest obscures the view, are trying to be there for each other in their real, non-romantic comedy versions of their lives, and the discomfort of matching on an app seems like the kind of thing that would make them rear back from each other instead of bringing them even closer together. It is not time. It is so profoundly not time that I would have been furious if the writers had continued the “maybe it’s Ted?” line of thought for another second longer than they did.

Second, I like this choice because of who Sam is. I know. He’s not an appropriate match for her. The power dynamics are all messed up and their ages are all wrong. But this does introduce a potentially interesting parallel between Rupert and his younger women and the scrutiny Rebecca would risk herself and Sam experiencing if she goes for it. Rebecca seems to have tried to put away her Rupert-related trauma, but the specter of Rupert is lurking, and I do see that being a good person making an ethically complicated decision with another good person is very different from being an abuser setting out to take advantage of multiple people...but there are parallels she might have to reckon with. Also, Sam is a kind person with a strong ethical center and a well-documented interest in Rebecca. He and Ted helped each other feel more at home in London during a time of deeply missing other homes, and Sam has internalized a lot of Ted’s ways of living in a way that might genuinely appeal to Rebecca even if she doesn’t fully realize why. The writers on this show don’t write messes for the sake of drama. They write messes because life is painful and complicated and also very funny. I’d be shocked if, however this Bantr thing plays out, it isn’t painful and complicated and also funny.

(I am already a little worried that whatever happens next is going to activate some very ironic fan reactions given this is a show whose thesis statement is about withholding judgment. This fear is based not on Ted Lasso-specific knowledge but on unfortunate patterns of fandom, but...you can fear the impact of racist, sexist, and ageist tropes on two beloved characters without embodying those tropes as a viewer. You can watch characters make decisions that could subject them to harmful scrutiny without performing that harm yourself.)

Ted Lasso is a fictional character who tweeted about the joy of eating out (you know...at the Crown and Anchor) the day before 2x6 launched and during 2x6 Rebecca invited him to eat out at the Crown and Anchor. (I love this show.) I am so, so, so fond of all the little lunch-y things in this episode. Ted can’t bring Henry his lunch because he’s “at work” aka living in London. Ted and Beard surprise each other with secret sandwiches on Fridays. Rebecca is overwhelmed by her mother’s visit (her mother’s performance of a harmful pattern) and wants Keeley and Ted there. The scene at the Crown and Anchor, as painful as all the divorce/separation feelings were, was also so homey and lovely in terms of these characters being friends, being at home in a place despite the very not-at-home feelings emanating from Deborah. The Bake-Off viewing! Ted being the designated driver (probably a good thing on this particular day)! Rebecca feeling discomfort but not shutting down! Also cute British pub feelings. Evidence that Rebecca has talked to her mom about Ted! About personal things about Ted!

Naaaaaaate. His bursts of confidence and insight. The pain and insecurity and anger almost literally bubbling under the surface.

I cannot say enough good things about Higgins. He’s grown so much, and his decision to be honest with Beard regarding his concerns about Jane was absolutely impeccably done. Many, many trusted people in Higgins’ life told him not to do it. They are all good people, and they were all wrong. Sometimes one human being’s honesty makes the difference for someone who is struggling, and that’s exactly what happened here. Beard truly heard Higgins. And of course he didn’t immediately break things off with Jane. But he heard Higgins, and when Jane showed up Beard’s face looked different than it ever has, and Higgins words are with him as he walks off into the night with Jane and that might save him. And Rebecca witnessed it.

And I’m so glad she witnessed Higgins’ choice in the midst of this very difficult experience of a) trying to find Ted because she knows he’s in pain and being unable to and b) watching her mother repeat a pattern that Rebecca herself was able to break. It taught me so much about Rebecca. The way she was punished (and described the experience using the language of punishment) for having an honest reaction to her mother’s decision to leave her father the first time. The way she was taught that love is conditional, that love and reconciliation are things you can purchase with gifts. The way her mother uses the language of self-help without internalizing what it would take to heal, and probably has little use for actual therapy. The way her mother drinks alcohol as a way to feel free.

I don’t even know how to think, much less write, about everything with Roy’s coaching and his image and how Ted feels about it and all the fatherhood things Jamie brings up and all the fatherhood things Ted is missing w/r/t Nate and everyone except for Rebecca taking at face value (or willfully deciding to take at face value) the idea that Ted’s panic attack is actually just him needing to go barf up a fish pie. Ted hugging his backpack in Sharon’s office. Rebecca trying to find him, and Sharon being the one who does. The words “I wanna make an appointment” being the words that conclude the episode at the exact midpoint of the planned-for show. Halfway through the middle season. The moment Ted realizes he’s never going to be okay if he doesn’t give therapy a try.

I also can’t say enough good things about the moment with the team and Sharon, the way she agrees to one drink, the way it’s clear that she adores them all. Sharon is exacting and professional without being cold and calculating, and everything she does in this episode is such a gorgeous model of assertiveness, patience, and moderation...three things Ted struggles with the most.

What a dark forest. What an excellent group of humans.

#ted lasso #ted lasso s2 spoilers #ted lasso 2x6 #meta by me #a lesbian watches ted lasso

[imagine-that-100]

Why No Answer? | Part 2 |

Description of Part 1: Alex Turner x Reader (Female) | You’re woken up in the middle of the night to find Alex drunk and high on your doorstep. Looking after him proves to be a tiring and revealing ordeal.

Word Count: 12.8k

Warnings: Angst (from the past) but lots of fluff.

A/N: So this was requested by the lovely @psychkunox​, really hope you enjoy this. I don’t know what happened, but I got very carried away with the word count yet again sorry about that ahha. I would recommend watching the Restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally either before or after you read. It’s quite comical and will give you more context. Anyway though, Likes, Reblogs, and Feedback is always appreciated, but thank you all for reading, I really hope you all enjoy xx

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Read Part 1: | Here | 

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“Al stop.” You scorn him in a whisper as he once again kisses the back of your neck as you stand in the queue for Space Mountain.  

You really tried not to indulge in the feeling of his lips on your skin because it was an extremely addicting sensation. But you were in public, in Disney World of all places where everyone had their phones and cameras out, and the band were all standing in front of you in the queue.

“Alex.” You whisper shout again and pull yourself out of the hold he had on your hips when you felt him do it again.

You turn around and shake your head when you note the mischief in his eyes and the slight smirk gracing his pretty lips. You wanted nothing more to have them on your own in such a beautiful place but that couldn’t happen since you both decided you wanted to keep your relationship between yourselves for a while longer.

You were their photographer which meant that you didn’t want things to get weird with them on tour. And after you and Alex both decided to keep your relationship on the downlow when you initially started going out with each other, you sort of wanted to keep it that way, so nothing changed the dynamic of your group.  

You were only 2 years younger than Matt and Alex, 3 years younger than Jamie and Nick, so you’d always been pretty close with them all. You thought of them all as your brothers as you were growing up as Alex had gone to the same primary school as you and Matt and they had been best mates since the beginning.

They met Jamie and Nick in High School along with Andy who was obviously initially in the band, before he stepped down and Nick took over. They had always been your family who’d taken good care of you and you knew just how lucky you were to have them all.

But obviously to them you’d always been Matt’s little, and sometimes annoying, sister. When they were 14/15 they all wanted nothing to do with you and you were certain Alex had hated you once upon a time, but that might have been because you were a 12 year old who’d started growing up having crushes on all of your brothers friends.

Thankfully they didn’t disown you completely as when you reached the less annoying age of 15, they didn’t seem to push you out as much. You liked hanging out with all of them, and you saw them more because they always had to come to your house because Matt couldn’t move the drum kit unless it was for a gig.  

You’d always liked music as it had always been an escape for you. Like when the band were first starting out when you’d go up to your bedroom to escape the utter shit music they were making, and you’d have your Pulp and Blur records on.

There was a new band you actually introduced them too at the time which was The Strokes, which is comical in hindsight because if you’d never told Alex and Matt to listen to that record when they caught you humming along to Barely Legal, you weren’t sure Alex would have had the motivation to keep the band going and get it as big as they had become.

It wasn’t a secret that Alex’s hero was Julian Casablancas.

A few years later the band was getting bigger and the excitement in your household at them potentially making it big was intense. So much so that your Mum and Dad threw a party for them all when they got scouted and got the record deal.

It was at that party that Matt and Alex drunkenly agreed to let you be their photographer as soon as you were done with your photography apprenticeship. It was something they never forgot though and they did actually let you become their photographer.

So as soon as your apprenticeship finished in the summer of 2006, your 18-year-old self joined the lads on their tour. To say it was a dream come true would be an understatement.

Both you and Matt had loved photography your entire lives, stemming from when your Grandma bought you both a digital camera each one year for Christmas. Since then, it’d become your passion and your plan was to be a photographer anyway.

But being the photographer for Arctic Monkeys meant that you got to travel the world and see places you never thought you would, and you never got home sick because you already had your family around you.

You honestly adored your job.

In the breaks between their tours and them writing new material you would take other photography jobs in the years off, but that didn’t really happen for the first four years of them all being big.

Alex asked Domino if you could do their The Age of the Understatement tour too which you were surprised by, but of course you did it. A job was a job and you weren’t going to turn it down just because your brother wasn’t there.

Usually on the tours you’d stay in a separate bus from the lads because after the first week into the first tour you joined them on you saw what an absolute shit tip they all created. They were all revolting and all typical lads, being messy, every other sentence was a sex joke, and they were just revolting creatures.

To you it was genuinely a surprise they actually showered after every gig.

But thankfully with the years passing and being on tour busses became a constant for them instead of something new and exciting, they all got better. So, their Suck It And See tour was the first full tour you’d actually stayed in the bus with them.

Although sometimes you wished you hadn’t because that tour was where he met Breana and you definitely heard things you’d never want to hear again. You don’t know how the other lads weren’t scarred from the noises that came out of Matt’s bunk those nights.

All you had to say about it was thank god for earphones and ear defenders.

But you think it was on that tour that you started getting closer to Alex and the other lads. Mostly due to Matt being a love stuck puppy who spent most of his time with Breana but also because you didn’t want to burden him with your emotions.

About a month before the Suck It And See tour started in the February of 2011, your arsehole of a boyfriend texted you saying that he didn’t want to see you anymore. He was an arsehole for doing it over text and then not answering your calls afterwards, but he was an even bigger arsehole for getting with who you thought was your best friend as soon as the tour started.

Matt and the lads obviously knew about the breakup but due to them all having no social media none of them knew what your best friend had done to you. So, you cried about that betrayal in your bunk at night when you knew everyone else was asleep and you cried when you found moments of solitude.

They had enough going on with interviews and tours and you didn’t want them to burden them with your issues too. But that stopped when Alex walked in on your crying in the back lounge of the bus about a month into the tour.

Your ex best friend had just posted a picture of her and your ex who you still had the misfortune of having feelings for and you just crumbled. When you saw it you just couldn’t bear the thought of being around anyone else, so you slipped out of their presence and cried your way back to the tour bus.

Thankfully no one followed you in your time of crisis which meant that you got your uncontrollable sobs out of the way alone. But of course, someone came back to the bus and found you.

And that person was Alex.

He’d come back for another pack of fags needing the extra nicotine in the hours before a show. But all thoughts of that stopped when he heard crying come from the back end of the bus.

He walked past the bunks and opened the door into the back lounge to find you sat on the floor with your head buried into your knees and sobs were ringing in his ears. His heart dropped at the sight.

“Y/N what's wrong?” Alex asks, rushing over to you.

And when you didn't answer he called your name again. “Y/N?”

But you just shake your head and continue sobbing into your knees. So he begs, “Please talk to me, love”

He was kneeling down beside you, his hand coming to the back of your head as if to slowly coax you out of your hiding stop. And after stroking the back of your head for a minute, your head rises from your hiding spot but your eyes remain shut and you continue to sob.

Alex tries his best to coax you out of your sobs but you’re pretty much hyperventilating in front of him. After another one of the longest minutes of Alex’s life he manages to get you to slow your cries enough for words to fall from your lips.

“My life’s falling apart” You sob, still refusing to look at him. Your breathing is better but still erratic when you continue to tell him in a pain stricken voice, “I can’t carry on crying myself to sleep like this every night... I- I just want to feel normal again”

“What’s happened? Why are you upset?” Alex begs for you to tell him, ripping the tears from under your eyes.

The only thing that comes to mind is your previous relationship, so Alex asks, “Is it about your ex?”

You nod, tears still pouring down your eyes, “He’s taken everything Alex... My life is fucking ruined”

“No he hasn’t Y/N. You’re here, you’ve got us” He tries to assure you, but you just shake your head.

After a second you open your watery eyes and Alex can see how much pain they hold. They somehow contain even more when you speak the words out loud, “He’s going out with Y/B/F.”

Even Alex’s blood runs cold when he hears that. His words almost get caught in his throat when he asks, “What?”

You nod, sniffling a bit and wiping your own tears from your cheeks when you repeat, “He’s going out with Y/B/F.”

“Please tell me you’re joking” The words fall from his mouth before he can stop them.

You and your best friend had been together since day one, like you’d practically been friends since birth. You were practically sisters.

It was only the odd time Alex would come to yours and Matt’s house growing up and Y/B/F wasn’t there with you. You were the annoying girls he couldn’t escape.

Not that he still felt like that as you yourself had become a really good friend but back when you were 12 you were both so fucking annoying. But everyone knew that your and Y/B/F came as a pair.

You were the best of friends, and completely inseparable.  

“I don’t think I’d be on the floor crying if I was joking Alex.” You whine, trying your best to stop your tears now someone else was with you.  

You nod towards your phone that you threw on the sofa when you walked in the room and say, “Just look”

So Alex does. He takes your phone off the side and unlocks it knowing your password was your birthday and he quickly puts the numbers in and watches as it unlocks.

And his heart sinks at the proof that lays in his hands. There on the screen he can clearly see the picture of your best friend and your ex-boyfriend quite clearly together.

They were posed in the way couples typically posed for pictures and then there was another of them at the same party and they stood kissing, and Alex found it repulsive.

“This isn’t okay.” Alex looks up from the phone to see your head no leaning back against the settee, tears falling freely down your cheeks now.

You make no effort to look at him when you say, “I know.”

“Why didn’t Matt tell me?” Alex asks, a little confused.

Surely this was something that was to be at least hushedly whispered to the people closest to you.

“Because he doesn't know.” You say simply.

“Why?” He asks, locking the phone so you didn’t see the pictures again.

You told Matt everything these days. There was no point in secrets between you as you were adults and you cared for the other’s well-being.

You’d always been open with each other, minus the time that you went out to a party when you were 16 and came back with a series of love bites on your neck. All of the lads had been really shocked when you walked in a little bit tipsy with those on your skin.

Matt had been furious and a little disgusted knowing someone had been touching you in a romantic sense. So, it was no surprise to the other lads that when you were questioned on if something more happened, you pressed your swollen lips together and slipped up to your room denying that anything else had happened.

It was comical because it was clear to everyone else that it had gone further than someone kissing your neck.

Everyone took the piss out of Matt that night saying that someone had just taken his sister's virginity and it left the drummer mortified. But you always denied it to the full band until about 6 months later when Alex had asked you in the kitchen if you were actually lying or not.

Of course, Alex didn’t actually tell any of the others when you confirmed what everyone already knew. But that was the last time you’d ever lied to your brother.

So, hearing that your brother didn’t know about this shocking and frankly disgusting news in your life was concerning.

You looked up towards your brothers’ best mate and told him the truth, “Because I can’t ruin his time with Breana…”

You had to trail off because the lump in your throat was getting too much. So you swallowed it away before continuing, your voice still pained, barely above a whisper, “He really likes her and he doesn’t need to be worrying about me... She could be the mother of his children for all we know... I’m not ruining that chance because my life has fallen apart.”

“He’d understand Y/N/N.” Alex told you, once again leaning forward to wipe away your tears.

You shake your head, “It’s not fair.”

“And you think what’s happened to you is fair?” Alex questions, knowing full well that it wasn’t.

No one deserved this type of betrayal. Especially you.

You just started weeping again then and Alex brought you into his arms, needing to console you in a hug. Thankfully you didn’t resist his hug and Alex let you cry into his shoulder as you clung to him.

After a while of him rubbing your back and whispering you sweet nothings, he had to tell you, “You could have told me Y/N/N.”

You shake your head into his neck then, Alex could still feel the tears falling onto his skin. He just about hears you say into his shoulder, “You’re happy with Arielle, I don’t want you dealing with my shit either.”

“Your family, what hurts you hurts me” Alex tells you, “You’ve always got me Y/N… Always.”

After another five minutes of you both on the floor, Arielle walks in and is immediately worried seeing you sat on the ground crying into Alex’s arms. Alex just politely asked her to go and get Matt though which she did, and you didn’t oppose it.

You couldn’t deal with that on your own any longer and you were thankful for Alex being so kind to you. Your heart just fully melted in your chest later on after everything had been explained to everyone and he pulled you aside and gave you another big hug.

He whispered to you, “You’re going to be okay Y/N/N.” before placing a kiss to the top of your head.

The rest of that tour was filled with him making sure you were always okay and so did the other lads. But maybe it felt more personal to you when Alex checked on you because he was the one that found you.

It was him that just told you to cut them from your life completely and block them on everything as ‘they weren’t good enough for you anyway’. After you did that you felt better about your life. You’d cleared them from your Instagram, leaving no trace on your page that they were ever in your life and it was a difficult purge, but it definitely helped you in the long run.

The years without them in your life were tough but it had proven to be for the best in the end.

Because once upon a time you thought you were going to marry your ex-boyfriend, but now you were standing in Disney World with your boyfriend trying to steal kisses from you. And you wouldn’t change it for the world.

You give your boyfriend of 4 months a warning look, but his eyes just held mischief. You had to remind him, “They are going to see.”

“Then let’s go somewhere else.” Alex says moving back towards you, and ushering you to move up the line a bit.  

“After this we’ll try and escape.” You promise, but he was really shit at turning you down and you wanted it to be believable. “But you have to actually pretend you don’t wanna go.”

He rolls his eyes but sighs, “Fine.”

After Space Mountain you announced to the lads that you wanted to go see the Disney characters next which they all groaned at. You first of all pleaded with Matt to come with you knowing he wouldn’t before the rest of the lads and one by one they all dismissed you.

The last person you asked was Alex and he surprisingly put up a good fight until you ‘wore him down’ and got your own way. You spent the rest of the afternoon going round with him and getting pictures of the both of you with the characters and you got a nice lady to take a  few pictures of you both outside the castle.

Those were your favourites, especially the one where he was kissing you.

As you were walking back to meet the others who were already back at the bus, you felt the need to tell him something which you’d yet to say. You didn’t think you’d find a better time than walking hand in hand in front of the Disney castle after one of the best days of your life.

So you pause your walk back for a moment to kiss him one last time before you make it back to the others. The kiss was sweet, just like the whole day had been, and you definitely felt like it was the right time to say, “I love you Alex.”

Immediately a smile found its way onto his lips, and he was practically beaming with joy. “You love me?” Alex asks you in a little disbelief.  

“Yeah…” You nod, a massive smile on your lips “A lot as well.”

Alex leant down and kissed you again then, this time though his arms wrapped around your waist and lifted you off your feet, spinning you around in his arms. It caused you to giggle into the kiss a little but you loved it.

When your feet touched the ground again Alex told you, “I love you so much Y/N”

“I know.” You grin as he’d already told you once before.

Alex just chuckles at you, “Alright Han Solo” which made you giggle.

“I love you more than anything Al, thank you for making me happy.” You tell him wrapping your arms around him, needing a tight embrace just so he knew you meant every single word.

His arms obviously snake around you, making you feel secure in the warm hug. And your heart melts once more when he kisses your head and says, “I love you more Angel, thank you for letting me make you happy.”

~*~*~*~

“Al.” You said attempting and failing to pull away from the kiss he’d trapped you in.

If you were honest, you really weren’t really putting up much of a fight to stop the kisses. You were in one of their many tents that this festival they were performing at had given them.

There was one for chilling out in, one that was essentially a bar, and a few more you’d yet to explore. But Alex had pulled you into one with the mass of beanbags in it and he wasted no alone time to have his lips connect to yours.

“Yes baby?” He says in his low voice and you could hear his hunger for you in his voice before he kissed you again.

It made your stomach flip as you knew exactly what he was thinking as you’d heard his voice like that many times since you started seeing each other. You both had to show some restraint though as anyone could walk into the tent, there was only a flimsy curtain between inside and outside.

You pull on his hair to make him pull away as you couldn’t do it yourself as he’d trapped you between him and a beanbag. Once his soft lips parted from yours, you told him seriously,  “Wait until the hotel.”

“But I want you now.” Alex then pouts at you, confirming the explicit thoughts that were running through his head.

You tell him truthfully, finding his pout very cute, “And I want you, but I’m not shagging you in a tent.”

“Why?” Alex questions, looking around for a moment before his gorgeous brown eyes meet your Y/E/C ones again. He chuckles, “It's a really posh tent.”

You guess it was too post to actually call it a tent. It was huge for a start and looked very expensive. You definitely felt privileged to get to experience all of this with him and the band.  

“Hun you had me all last night...” You shake your head whilst smiling like an idiot, “You can retrain yourself until we get back.”

“Not easily.” He pouts again and it makes you giggle which he once again finds adorable.

Another kiss is exchanged then but you don't let it get to what it just had been like. You stop it after he tries to distract you and deepen it again but you’re having none of it.

“You need to go or there gunna be like ‘what’s he doing in there?’” You say knowing he’d be asked to drink with them sooner rather than later.

Alex smiles knowing you’re right, but he chuckles when he tells you, “You know we have to tell them at some point, right?”

“Yeah I know, I just want as much of this tour to be as normal as possible.” You say, aimlessly stroking your fingers up and down the short hair on the back of his hair. You grin when you say, “I’d like to escape Jamie’s jokes for as long as possible.”

Alex just laughs then before he pecks your lips once more. “I don’t blame you Angel… But you can handle yourself. We’ll be fine.”

“I know.” You smile, feeling very content in this moment that you had with him. “I love you Al.”

“I love you too.” He tells you before he steals another kiss and gets himself up. “Do you want a drink?”

You shake your head whilst you get yourself comfy on the beanbag, also reaching to the nearby blanket to cover yourself with. “Nah, I’m good thanks. I’m gunna have a nap before the show.”

Alex smiles at you then, turning back towards you when he gets near the curtain to leave. He just stops by the curtain that divides him from outside and when he sees you getting curled up under the blanket.

He can’t help but nod and say, “Yeah.”

“Yeah what?” You ask looking back up to him standing there grinning at you.  

Alex nods down at you in your cosy spot and continues, “Yeah, you were definitely meant for me.”

You grin like an idiot then before you tell him, “Love you baby.”

“Love you too.” Alex smiles and sends a wink your way before he heads out of the tent.  

You can’t help but shut your eyes and snuggle into your new ‘bed’ with a massive grin on your face. But when you hear Miles say, “Oi Al, you dickhead. Come and have a shot.” you just start giggling.

~*~*~*~

You were absolutely plastered, and it was really making Alex laugh. Even more so than it usually would because you were trying your best not to be obvious that you wanted his affection.

You were a clingy drunk which was absolutely fine, and all the lads knew that, but watching you slip up around him and having to make up for it with the other lads was really comical for Alex.

You’d just come over to Alex after you’d beaten him at pool and teased him for being shit. To which Alex was shooting digs back at you but all you did in response was laugh, call him a sore loser and ruffle his perfect hair up which you knew annoyed him.

So Alex had just forced your hands out of his hair by grabbing your wrists and stopping you from doing anything more. He gave you warning looks like he would have done any other time you annoyed him before you got together but you also noted the looks as a reminder of the secret that you’d set out.

That was what led you to sitting on Jamie’s lap and talking his ear off about Katie whilst playing with his wavy hair. He threatened you to get off it, saying he’d cut it all off which you at first drunkenly pleaded with him not too but then you changed your mind saying he could definitely pull off a Peaky Blinders cut.

Once off Jamie you went on to have some flirty banter with Miles as Nick and Jamie played pool. Alex was watching you with an amused look on his face as his best mate was teasing you about not being on the pull whilst being in a bar with everyone.

You came back with things like, “Aw Miles, I couldn’t do that to you. I know you’d cry yourself to sleep if I entertained anyone elses flirting besides yours.”

Alex also found your laugh adorable when Miles kissed you on your cheek and Matt told him to leave you alone and to stop flirting with you. It was times like that that made Alex glad his best mate didn’t know about the two of you yet.

But after Nick’s game of pool finished and Nick won, he was calling it a night, despite it being relatively early. It seemed that you knew your tolerance though and decided to head back to the bus with Nick.

So you then went around the other 4 lads who were staying and made a bit of an effort to kiss them all goodnight, Alex presumed so you could kiss him. Something which proved to be correct because you came to him last after kissing all the other lads, including your brother, on the cheek and came to give him one.

“Thank you for my drinks” You drunkenly smile at him and Alex grins down at you in an amused way.

“You’re welcome love” Alex chuckles at your tipsy state and you then force a hug upon him.

He obviously hugs you back but he’s aware of his mates looking so he doesn’t make it completely obvious that he’s enjoying the hug as much as he is despite him really wanting to. He wanted nothing more than to kiss your lips instead of you leaning in to kiss his cheek.

When you left his arms, he smiled at you and you moved back to your brother and made him give you a hug. Something which Matt did but not without a roll of his eyes, but Alex could tell it was a playful one.

“See you in the morning guys.” You say with a smile after linking your arm through Nick’s so he could help you walk back.

Everyone said bye to you then and their attention was on the new game of pool again. But whilst it was Matt’s go Alex let his eyes focus on you.

You were so cute, he wanted nothing more than to take you back to a hotel away from the others so he could just be with you all night. But Alex also understood why you wanted to keep it a secret for a while longer.

Tours were long, and he knew you’d both be bullied about it for a while from the others, which you were both prepared for. But you were due to be on the road for the next year with AM due out in September.

The plan was to tell them as soon as interviews back home started so you didn’t have to be around the joking for long. Alex was used to it after Alexa and Arielle, but he knew you weren’t, and he respected that.

So that was why he denied it when the lads began to question him on it about 5 minutes after you left.

“What’s going on?” Matt asks as Alex pots another ball into the pool table.  

Alex grins thinking Matt was just fuming he was losing. As Alex moves around the table to eye up another winning shot, he says, “I’m beating you at pool

“No.” Matt shakes his head, earning eye contact from his best mate. “I mean with Y/N/N.”

“What do you mean?” Alex asks as he leans over the table to play his next shot, “She’s just gone back with Nick.”

“Don’t think he means that.” Miles grinned at him after he missed the tricky shot he’d chosen.  

Alex raises his eyebrows in a questioning way, getting the feeling that people were catching on to how you were around each other.

And that suspicion is confirmed when Jamie says, “You’re very touchy with each other.”

“Touchy?” Alex laughs, as he watches your brother take another shot, “Jamie mate, she was on your lap earlier.”

“Yeah, but she keeps like teasing you and messing with your hair and shit.” Matt chips in with his observations after missing his shot on the stripped balls.  

Alex rolls his eyes, “Matt, you literally fucked with my hair earlier today and Jamie did it yesterday... You all like to fucking annoy me by doing that.”

Alex continues to defend the both of you even though he wishes he didn’t have to. “You know what she’s like when she’s drunk, she doesn’t leave anyone alone.”

“He has a point; she didn’t shy away from me kissing her.” Miles points out raising his pint to the drummer.

Matt fakes a gag then and says, “Leave her the fuck alone Kane.”

“But she loves me.” Miles pouts, resting a hand over his heart like Matt’s words had hurt him. “You definitely want me as your brother-in-law.”

Alex smiles to himself knowing that he was now 6 months ahead of Miles in that category. God, he loved you. He could definitely see a bright future with you, and he had every intention to marry you one day in the years to come.

“I’d rather go to a Radiohead gig.” Matt says which earns a laugh from everyone, knowing how the hatred between the bands still hadn’t died out.

~*~*~*~

A month later you thought you were doing well. You were very careful around everyone after Alex told you about the questioning he got after the bar.

You were just normal with each other throughout the days, not overly interacting with each other. But when Alex’s eyes were hidden by his sunglasses, he couldn’t help but let his eyes wonder.

And it definitely helped that it was your job to take pictures of him. You could stare at him all day that way, even if it was through a camera lens.

Moments alone came when you’d stay in the bus when they went on nights out and Alex would venture back early meaning on nights like that, he actually got to give you goodnight kisses like he loved doing. Other moments took place when he would wander off at the multitude of festivals they were doing.

You’d say you were going getting pictures of different acts that no one else wanted to go watch. Alex would say he was going for a walk about 20 minutes later. Purely coincidence that you met up with him on his walk after you’d taken a photo or two.

Other times you snuck into each other's hotel rooms about an hour after you’d all gone your separate ways. But it was your nights in the hotels that you loved the most.

You got your privacy, and it was secure. The same as it was when he came to your house before the tour or when you went to his.

You loved being alone with him.

And tonight, all the other lads had gone out to a party somewhere and Alex had been faking an illness all day so he could stay in and they wouldn’t ask questions. They wouldn’t think it was weird you not going because you rarely went out with them.

They knew you valued your sleep too much.

So that was why you were alone in the back lounge with Alex tonight. And you’d honestly had one of the best nights being your normal cuddly selves.

You’d just watched a film with each other whilst being cuddled up on the sofa and you very nearly fell asleep in his embrace, but you weren’t wasting a full night alone with him. After the film you both went out and got yourselves a takeout from a place just down the road.

You made it into a full date night which was fucking adorable. After food, you coexisted normally for a little while, Alex letting you lean back against him whilst you edited your photos on your night off.

You were a pro at it after so many years, so it took no longer than an hour for the ones promotion wanted of them all. Alex was quite happily watching you edit the pictures of him and his friends as he absentmindedly played with your hair, placed random little kisses on your neck or on the back of your head, and at one point he even sang.

It was a really beautiful song, one that you’d only heard once before when he let you listen to the album when it was finished.

You only knew the title because he said it often in the song but having your boyfriend softly sing Mad Sounds into your ear as you worked you wished you could freeze time and appreciate it. His voice was amazing as everyone knew, but hearing it so close and so soft, it was hard to keep shivers from running down your spine.

“Such a beautiful song Al.” You smile closing your laptop as you’d finished what you needed to do and he’d finished singing.

You turn to him a bit more and he smiles back at you, tucking a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. “Like you then.” Alex grins before pressing his lips to yours.

You smile into the kiss as the comment was very adorable of him, but when you pulled back bullying was in order, “You’re so cheesy.”

“You love it.” Alex grins as you get up and put your laptop away, but you grab your small Lumix camera and come to sit back down.

You grin as you come and sit back down, this time straddling his lap so you could get a few close ups of him looking cute. You bring the viewfinder up to your eye and once you see his adorable smile on the other side of the lens you capture the perfection.

“I do.” You grin back at him.

You like that Alex never shies away from you when you have a camera in your hand. You knew after this much time that he trusted you with what you were capturing, especially in these moments together they wouldn’t be seen by anyone else.

“However…” You say, putting the camera down for a moment, “Me and your music are nothing alike.”

Alex frowns at you a little then, his hands running up your thighs, pulling you a little closer, “I think a certain track and our text message history would claim otherwise.”

You roll your eyes then knowing he was talking about Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High? But when he grins at your eye roll you quickly snap another picture of him.

“I guess I shouldn't have got involved with a lyricist if I didn't want songs about me, should I?” You ask with a knowing smirk as you pull the camera away from your face.

You don’t bother checking it on the screen as it pops up, you already knew it would be a good picture. Not because you took it, but because it was of him and he was happy.

“No, probably not.” Alex chuckles as he takes the camera from you before raising it to take one of you.

You give him a pointed look after the photograph and joke, “You better hope you get to release your B-sides before Matt catches on.”

“I’ll be murdered, I have no doubt.” Alex grins and you burst out laughing at him being dramatic.

Alex thinks you look gorgeous though, so he raises your camera back up and you let him, not having a problem with him taking your picture. You smile at first but after he gets the first picture, he keeps looking through the viewfinder so you then puff your cheeks out jokingly and move closer to the camera.

Alex chuckles from behind it and he moves the camera from his face so you can both giggle together. He steals a kiss from you which you gladly accept, and you can't help but bite your lip afterwards.

He just looked so good. His skin was flawless these days and the fact that all of his fair wasn’t around his face anymore made his stunning jawline stand out. His brown eyes that were usually always hidden by sunglasses were shining brightly and the smile on his lips really showed how happy he was.

And seeing him happy made you happy. You could safely say you truly loved him. You’d do anything to keep you both as happy as you are now.

Whilst you’re deep in thought, Alex raises your camera back up to his eye which breaks your daydreaming about his features and you playfully roll your eyes.

“Smile for me Angel.” He asks and you do for one shot because he is pretty cute and pretty impossible not to smile at.

“Beautiful.” Alex confirms when he quickly looks down at the screen seeing the picture, he just caught of you.

“Like you then.” You use his own words against him with a playful smile.

Alex then puts your camera down to the side and with his newly free hand he cups the back of your neck and mumbles a ‘very good’ before bringing you in for a kiss. Playful and sweet were the only ways to describe it.

You just adored this alone time with him, sitting on his lap at the back bus, which was usually a very crowded area for you all to use, and you were kissing each other like it was just yesterday you got together. Everything still felt just as exciting and new and you never wanted his lips off yours.

You loved that it was you who got to run your fingers through his hair and pull on it when you wanted a kiss to carry on longer, like you just did. You loved the way his large hands held your hips, keeping you close to him.

But mostly you loved that he was always wanting affection. You’d not been in a relationship for a very long time so it made you nervous initially but there was something about Alex that you craved, and his affection was definitely one of those things that you were addicted to now.

You never wanted moments like these to end. But of course, that wouldn’t be realistic.

“I fucking knew it!”

You both pull away from each other to see Jamie with his jaw agape by the door. And your heart dropped to the ground.

“Jamie.” Alex says before Jamie can run out of the room.

“Oh I can’t fucking believe it.” He says, still stood there with his jacket in his hand but he looks like his whole world has ended. “I’ve gotta go get Matt.”

The panic in you rises then and you practically just off Alex’s lap and grab your intruders’ arm before he can turn back, “Jamie no, don’t.” You plead, pulling on his arm to come into the room.  

He turns back towards you then and he lets himself be pulled into the room. His head is still baffled though which leads him to say rather loudly, “You’re shagging, aren’t you?”

Your eyes go wide at the volume of his voice and you scorn, “Jamie.” quietly as you pull him further into the room so you can shut the door once more.

His eyes go wide impossibly wider though and he gasps, “You are!” looking from you to Alex who was still sat down.

“Matt is going to fucking murder you.” Jamie chuckles looking Alex dead in the eye as you ensure that no one else is on the bus by looking down through the bunks (thankfully all the curtains were still open) to the front lounge and you saw no one down the other end.

“Jamie please don’t start.” You hear Alex say, evidently not wanting this to get out of hand.

You close the door and turn around to the still very shocked man and say, “I’ll explain just please shut up and sit down.”

So you did explain that you’d been seeing each other for months. Jamie was shocked because he only started to suspect something a month into the tour.

But after he’d let the information sink in, it wasn’t really so shocking anymore. Which is why you’d got onto the conversation of why it was still a secret after you’d been going out for months.

“You know he’d be fine.” Jamie tells you, sitting down opposite you both, trying to persuade you to tell Matt. “He wouldn’t actually kick off, you can both do what you like.”

“It’s not really just about Matt.” You tell him honestly from your point of view. “It’s about all of you making jokes and shit for months. I didn’t want that.”

“Y/N we wouldn’t do that.” Jamie says leaning towards the both of you from the other sofa, but you’re having none of it.

“Cookie you’re the worst one for it.” You say with a pointed look.

You then point to Alex, who you were sitting beside now and say, “I remember what you were like with him and Arielle.”

And it was a lot. They joked about it all the time to start with, and it was annoying for you, let alone Alex and her.

“Him and Arielle were different.” Jamie states, a little on the defensive side, but then he follows it up with, “You don’t make funny videos for a living, I actually respect you a hell of a lot for putting up with us.”

You shake your head and tell the tipsy, but now definitely more sober man, “You’re not that bad.”

“Oh, we are.” Jamie says and you laugh because you were just being polite.

They could be a handful sometimes if you were telling the truth. But you wouldn’t change anything about any of them. You loved them all because of who and how they were, and they were all your family.

Jamie follows up with, “I'm genuinely surprised you actually want to go out with him after knowing what he’s like.”

You giggle at that and just pout as you joke, “I know, but you’re taken Cookie, so I went for the next best thing.”

“Hey” Alex scoffs, looking towards you, pretending to be offended.

You and Jamie just laugh at him though, and you intertwine your fingers when you grab Alex’s hand to hold as a little apology. You’d be sure to actually swear to him that you were joking later though.

Jamie notes the gesture and he can see the little knowing smiles on your faces and his heart melts a bit for the both of you. You were both pretty cute with each other to be fair and the more that Jamie had been playing detective about it he thought that the two of you would be a pretty good match.

So he was genuinely happy for the both of you.

“And as for the jokes…” Jamie continues, causing the two of you to look back around at him. But Jamie looks at you as he says, “If it upset you, you know I wouldn't do it”

“I don’t mind the odd joke about me sucking his dick or whatever, but I’ll go crazy if that's all I hear about for the next year.” You tell him honestly.

You could handle jokes, it wasn’t anything new. They joked about your first boyfriend to Matt for the longest time and had done each time you got a new one.

You could take a joke. But not 24/7 like this tour would promise it would.

“Okay, never say that again.” Jamie pleads, the shocked look not coming off his face, but you and Alex just laugh at his reaction.

His head goes into his hands for a moment but afterwards he looks at you both and says, “Yeah, you don’t have anything to worry about, joke wise, until I get comfortable with this dynamic because that was strange coming from your mouth.”

“You’ve heard me say worse than that, surely?” You ask, very amused by his discomfort.

Jamie just blankly says, “Not about Alex… And you’re practically my sister.”

“Sorry Cookie. I’ve got a right to say rude jokes about my boyfriend when I want to. He can say ones about me but from your reaction I don’t think you want him to.”

He then looks Alex dead in the eye and begs, “Please don’t.”

You both just end up laughing.

~*~*~*~

You decided after that night that you would think about being more open to telling Matt about everything that was going on. Thankfully Jamie was quite respectful of the whole thing and actually kept your secret.

He didn’t make things awkward for you both either, if anything he helped you both out a lot. Sometimes when you were out with them Jamie would keep the others entertained so you could escape with Alex for a little bit on a ‘fag break’ which would consist of stolen kisses.

Other times when you were all out, Jamie would lowkey guilt trip Alex into going back with you early so no one asked questions which you loved him even more for.

During this month that Jamie knew though, you’d been trying to come up with a way to tell Matt. Because you weren’t stupid, you knew this couldn’t go on for much longer.

Each time you tried to tell him though something would happen which meant that you didn’t. Once you froze, unable to tell him because you just genuinely didn’t know how to.

It wasn’t exactly something that you could drop on him and expect him to be fine with. Your nerves probably didn’t help but other times when you worked up the courage to do it, other things would go wrong.

Matt was in a foul mood one of the times, so that was a no go. Miles and Nick came in and interrupted another time before you got the words out and it was like a never ending series of unfortunate events that stopped you.

Alex had politely offered to do it after a few failed attempts but you said that you’d be more comfortable doing it. Partly because you thought that you should be the one to tell your brother and partly because you knew Matt wouldn’t hit you.

But there had been multiple failed attempts since then so you thought that you may actually make it to the end of the summer festivals at this rate.

It was nearing the end of August now and you were all staying in a hotel again tonight as you’d got to the city they were performing in the day before the show. You were pleased because it meant another night in with Alex so after you’d all had your dinner downstairs you’d given him your spare key card for your room so he could come to you whenever he liked.

Alex told you that he was looking forward to using it and he was excited to spend another night with you. It warmed your heart hearing that and when he rang you at 9:30 saying he was just running to the shop to grab the both of you some snacks, he said he’d let himself in about 20 minutes when he got back.

And that is why you were a little surprised when there was knocking on the door about 10 minutes later. You thought that was fast for a start but you gave him the key card so you wouldn’t have to get up and answer the door.

“Come in!” You shout across the room hoping he would hear you.

It seems that he does but his muffled response is, “It’s locked.” when the handle doesn’t budge.

You roll your eyes and mumble, “That’s why I gave you a key.” under your breath as you get up off your bed and head to the door.

And you’re about to scorn him but when the door opens you don’t find your boyfriend. You find your brother.

“Hey.” Matt says, stepping into your room after the door opens.

You’re shocked by his presence but try and act as calm as possible when you say, “Hey, you alright?”

Thank fuck you were still dressed. And thank fuck Alex wasn’t already here because you didn’t want him to find out like that.

But then you realised he’d be here in 10 minutes or so. And that made you want to get Matt out as quickly as possible.

“I’m fine, are you?” Your brother asks once he picks up the complimentary chocolate that the hotel had put on your bed which you were saving for later.

Any other night you would have ripped the shit out of him for coming in and doing that but now was not the time. You were borderline panicking as you were about to be caught out. But you try and disguise that as best as possible.

“Yeah, great thanks.” But really you’re just thinking, Shit.

Your brother asks you, “What do you have planned for tonight?”

Thinking on your feet all you can come up with is, “Just editing more pictures.”

“Fancy blowing it off and watching Netflix with me?” Matt questions and you all of a sudden feel really guilty that you want him to leave as much as you do.

You pull a little bit of a face at his question and try to carry on your lie, “Oh, I would but I’m honestly not feeling all that great after tea, so I was just gunna get an early night after I’ve done a few more pictures.”

“Funny that.” Your brother states when you turn away from him to grab your laptop from your bag as he sits himself down at the end of your bed.

You move towards the little desk that was in the room though and ask, “What is?”

“Alex isn’t feeling too well either.”

Well shit. You were too alike for your own good, coming up with the same excuses without telling the other.

“Oh?” You question, shitting it at this point, so you just open up your MacBook to distract you. “Maybe it was something we ate downstairs?”

All your brother replied was, “Doubt that because I had the same thing as you both.”

You choose no response as your best response and just continue to pull up a picture of Matt you hadn’t finished editing on photoshop yet. Being creative always eased your nerves so hopefully him watching you edit a picture of him would distract him.

“Y/N.” Matt says, trying to gain your attention.  

You instead just carry-on messing with the photograph and suggest, “Maybe you should go check on our friend bro, could be being sick for all we know. Wouldn’t make for the prettiest show tomorrow”

“Y/N…” Matt says once more, and you know he wants you to look at him.

So you do and you see your brother sat on the end of your bed, looking at you. He asks in a serious yet calm tone, “Is Alex really ‘just a friend’ anymore?

Well. You guess you didn’t have to find a way to tell him anymore.

You sigh and shake your head, “No.” and as you close your laptop you tell the truth, “He’s a lot more.”

Matt can tell you’re serious straight away just by the way you were looking at him. And it makes him shake his head a bit in disbelief. He says calmly but in a tone that worries you, as he also runs a hand through his hair, “I knew it.”

“Please don’t be angry Matt.” You all but beg as you turn in your chair towards him more. “It’s my fault we didn't tell you sooner... I didn’t want things to be different with the group, so I was the one who wanted to keep it a secret.”

“You know you didn’t have to do that, right?” Matt has to ask you, feeling awful that you felt like you couldn’t tell him something. “I just want you to be happy... Al’s practically family so of course I want the same for him.”

“I know, I’m really sorry…” You trail off for a second, “It just got to a point where I didn’t know how to tell you and when I tried to things always got in the way.”

Matt nods completely understanding that. At least you wanted to tell him.

“When did it start?” Is the question Matt asks you next.

“New Year’s Day” You say quickly before wincing a little, hearing that it has been 8 months out loud.

You felt so bad.

Matt is shocked by that news too, “That long...? Really?”

“Yeah.” You nod, feeling awful, “I’m sorry.”

Matt ends up asking you a few more questions after that which were pretty much big brother sort of questions, making sure Alex was treating you right and stuff like that. Thankfully this had all gone very plain sailing and Matt was happy for you like you both knew he would be.

And he had forgiven you for not telling him for so long too which was a big relief. It felt like a massive weight off your shoulders.

So much so that you had to get up off your seat and give him a hug. Matt stood up for the embrace, so you got to hug him properly and it was such a lovely warm hug that you felt like you hadn’t had in such a long time.

Halfway through that long hug though, both you and Matt hear the door to your room unlock. You press your lips together and wince a little knowing exactly what is about to happen.

“Hey Y/N/N.” You hear Alex say from somewhere behind you and you let go of Matt and both of you look towards Alex now closing the door, not yet noticing the situation.  

After he closes the door though, he begins to say before he turns towards you, “I got you thes- oh”

Matt smiles though seeing your favourite flowers in his best friend’s hand. You can’t help but smile at the sight of them too, and his face falling realising Matt was here was a little funny too.

He looked a little scared.

“I’m glad you’re treating her right Al.” Matt tells him, and Alex struggles with his words for a second and he looks to you for help.

“I just told him.” You nod confirming it out loud for him.  

Alex’s eyes go from you back to his best mate then and he starts, “Listen Matt, I’m sor-”

But Matt interrupts, “No no I don’t need an apology.” He shakes his head, “Just don’t fuck it up.” He then looks between the both of you, “Either of you... Because that would make for a really awkward tour.”

You smile at that and say, “I don’t plan on doing, and I know he doesn’t either.”

Matt grins at you then and he looks back to Alex and takes a few steps towards him. He points a finger to his chest and says very seriously, “Make her cry Turner, and I'll castrate you.”

Alex slowly nods, “Noted”

Matt must then break into a grin because Alex does too, and your brother then heads over to the door.

Matt turns back towards you and says, “Have a nice night love birds.” and walks out with a grin and he shuts the door behind him.

Both you and Alex stay silent for a second looking at the door almost in disbelief that the thing you’d both waited 8 months to do, was now over. Alex turns around to look at you and you’re both just awkwardly smiling at each other.

Alex puts the plastic bag filled with snacks down on the table he was standing beside and says, “Well you could have pre warned me.”

You shake your head, “I didn’t know he was coming. But he asked me to watch Netflix with him and apparently I gave the same excuse as you.”

“Oh fuck. Clever, aren’t we?” Alex chuckles a little and you nod in response.

Alex holds up the flowers he got for you and you can’t help but smile, “Well, I was hoping to surprise you with these, but you definitely won on the surprise front tonight.”

You giggle at that and you lean up to kiss him after taking the flowers from him, “Thank you my love.”

You briefly put them down whilst you say, “At least we don’t have to stay away from each other anymore.”

“Never going to let you go now Darling.” Alex chuckles before picking you up in a hug and spinning you around. You can’t help but giggle.

The next morning you both ventured downstairs to have breakfast with the others and found that they were all there waiting for you at your table with knowing looks. You and Alex just had grins on your faces knowing Matt would have gone around and told them all before you even got the chance.

They were all of course happy for you but of course you got some jokes and some questions. Jamie had got a bit used to it now, so he was starting with his jokes in private to you but when you sat down, he asked the both of you, “Suck his dick last night?”

“Wow, you’ve been waiting for that one, haven’t you?” You laugh, sitting yourself down next to him, immediately reaching for the menu so you could see what was on offer for breakfast.

The table obviously all laughed, and it was all fun and playful as you imagined it would be. You were glad Matt wasn’t cringing at all the details that you were giving out, as it was things like how far back moments happened, like when Alex asked you out officially and stuff like that.

All of the lads seemed really happy for you and even some of your other friends that were a part of the crew were shocked but buzzing for you. Alex got loads of people saying, ‘You better treat her right’ which made you laugh a lot.

But thankfully it was business as usual, just with the addition of getting to hold his hand and kiss him the odd time when you wanted. You’d rather most of your affection be in private though so not much had really changed on the social front.

Even when you were trying to be discrete about it, you didn’t find it too hard because you were still just the same Y/N and Alex. You’d been friends for years, so the dynamic shift wasn’t all that drastic.

You both were just the same friends that you could walk next to each other and it just be normal. You didn’t have to be touching each other all the time, you’d go walk with Miles or Nick and just go spend time with Alex every now and then.

You were glad that things never felt too different.

You guess the only thing that marginally was different was the first night back on the bus after you’d been staying in the hotel. You were all heading to bed and when you came out of the bathroom after changing, you headed to your own bunk, but then realised you didn’t actually need to.

Alex’s bunk was the top bunk in the middle, so you walked right past your own and straight to his. He was just in his boxers like most of the lads usually were when they slept on this bus.

“Hey.” You say with a big smile.

“Hey.” Alex grins, his messy hair almost falling into his eyes. He makes you smile when he says, “Was just about to come kiss you”

“Vile.” You hear Miles gag from the bunk directly below and you look down at him and frown.

“Miles, he kisses you... What are you on about?” You question, not understanding.

They were literally always touchy feely with each other which you thought was cute and adorable. They’d always been great mates and were close enough to actually perform together using one microphone.

So it made you laugh when Alex lent down over his bunk to say, “Little offended there mate.” to his friend.

Nick bursts out laughing at your backchat and Alex’s hurt and you chuckle along before you glance back to your boyfriend. Once his head was the right way up again you smile at him.

“I can join you for the night now, right?” You ask him and you love the smile that comes to his lips.

He nods, “Course you can.”

So Alex shuffles back in the bunk, enough for you to comfortably jump up and once you lay beside him you can’t stop grinning. It definitely felt weird to be in a bunk with him for everyone to see but it definitely makes you happy, even if it was a tight squeeze.

“Hi” You grin at him as he’s on his side, his back pressed to the wall of the bunk, looking down on you.

“Hey beautiful.” Alex says before he leans down and kisses you.

You of course kiss him back but after a second you quickly part so you can reach down to the curtain and pull it closed. You doubt that Nick wanted to watch from the bunk opposite.

As soon as your lips were back attached to Alex’s though you hear Nick whisper shout to everyone, “It’s starting!”

If your eyes were open, you would have rolled when but you just try to keep the smile off your lips, so you don’t ruin the kiss. And thankfully you both controlled yourselves enough to hold your smiles so you could indulge in a very nice kiss.

“If I hear anything come from that bunk, you don’t want to know what will happen.” Matt calls out loudly and you break apart from the kiss to laugh.

It seems like everyone else found it comical too, but it was even funnier when Jamie asked him, “What are you gunna do? Cry?”

“Fuck off Cookie.” Your brother says back, and you chuckle at that too.

You and Alex keep your curtain closed as the rest of them chat away and you get yourselves comfortable in the bunk. You are basically cuddled together in the bunk, with the duvet over you both, you still on your back and Alex tucked into your neck as he lay on his side.

You were glad you didn’t feel like you were about to roll out of the bunk, so it definitely made sense you were that way around. That and Alex quite liked to pick his head up every few minutes and trap you in another kiss.

A trap you certainly didn’t mind.

Usually when you all got in your bunks, curtains would stay open as you would all chat to each other and one by one curtains would close until you were all knackered and pass out until the next day. So, it wasn’t a shock that tonight you were all talking for quite a while, you and Alex just chatting to each other quietly in your bunk, liking the privacy that the curtain provided.

But after about 15 minutes someone shouted your name, popping yours and Alex’s bubble.

“Y/N?” You hear Jamie call you.

You smile knowing a joke was bound to come your way and respond, “Yeah?”

“I’ve got a question for you.” He informs and you can practically hear him smiling.

You grin at Alex and shout back to Jamie, “Okay, go on.”

“You know because you’re a photographer... Does that mean you take pictures of you and Alex in the bedroom?” Jamie asks teasingly and your immediately roll your eyes, but it doesn’t stop you from playing along.

“Shit.” You say jokingly loud, “How do they know?” You scorn Alex jokingly and he’s just silently laughing.

“Matt.” You call and joke, “Maybe don’t go through that SD card tomorrow.”

Earlier on he asked to see some of the pictures after the gig tonight and you said he could look through them before you started editing them tomorrow.

“I’ll burn it” Matt says back, and you just start silently giggling.

“What are you both up to in there?” You both hear Nick ask.

Alex says in a teasing voice, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Both of you have another few kisses in the time between those jokes and the next time you were heckled. But you were just cuddled when they next started joking.

“They are very quiet up there.” You both hear Miles say.

You shake your head and Alex sighs a little as you hear the rest of them chuckle.

“You doing good? You getting it up, Al?” Miles asks and you both feel him punch the top of his bunk, subsequently the bottom of yours.

You aren’t surprised when Alex doesn’t grace him with an answer.

“Very quiet indeed.” Nick laughs, more than likely looking down at Miles so they could share a laugh.

Jamie seems to jump in then with, “They are definitely biting their tongues.”

“Fuck off all of you.” Matt gets defensive but that just makes it comical.

You decided to upset your brother then by pretending to be annoyed when you scorn them, “You’re all really ruining the mood.”

Alex chuckles at that then, even though you weren’t doing anything. That is what made it funnier to him though.

“Sorry, do you need silence for Alex to get you off.” Jamie asks and it makes you roll your eyes at the question.

You reply, “No.” as an idea comes to mind.

“So you don't mind us carrying on talking then?” Miles asks teasingly. You can practically hear the smirk.

You backchat with, “Not if yous don't mind some noises too?”

“Fire away Hun.”

You brother almost shouts in distress, “No don’t. Both of you stay very fucking quiet.”

Jamie defends you both then, “Oh right so it’s alright when you and Breana fuck but when it’s Alex and Y/N you’re suddenly a prude.”

An argument starts out then with Matt defending himself and then Jamie defending you and so on and then it becomes a big thing. But you find it quite funny that Matt is getting annoyed, so you decide to make your own joke too.

“Al” You whisper, and he looks up at you for you to ask him, “Have you ever seen When Harry Met Sally?”

“Yeah, I watched it with you on the last tour.” He whispers back, reminding you.

You remember him doing now. You’d all had a movie night on the bus during the Suck It And See tour and because you were a little depressed they let you choose the film and you chose that one because it made you laugh.

“Okay, good.” You smirk knowing exactly what you were about to do.

Your boyfriend doesn’t yet get it though, so he asks in a whisper, “Why?”

“Alex” You say a bit louder, a smile you couldn’t hold back drawing to your face.

“What babe?” He asks you and you have to close your eyes, so you don’t break and start laughing.

You try to make your voice sound sultrier and you fake moan louder, “Oh god.”

At that though the boys arguing dies down as Alex whispers, “What are you doing?”

You hold your laugh and, “Alex.” falls from your lips in a breathy moan. And it’s loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Y/N, fuck off.” You hear your brother shout, clearly not amused.

You however come straight back with a very load moan of, “Alex fuck.”

“Matt I’m not touching her.” Alex shouts and you open your eyes to see Alex propped up to the side of you, looking at you like he was scared.

You don’t give it a second thought before you gasp even louder, “Right there Al”

You can hear Miles cackling below you both and you don’t let up with the moans you’re making despite wanting to laugh too. Next you raise your hand up to the ceiling of the bunk as if you’re using it to brace yourself, “Fuck.”

“Oh my god, don’t stop.” You plead in a desperate way as you look to your mortified boyfriend.

“Y/N shut up.” Alex whispers, but it just makes you carry on more.

The fake moans fall from you lips, filling the bunks with your pleads and gasps. Alex is still mortified, but the laughter coming from Jamie, Nick, and Miles just fuels you on.

You go fully Sally Albright on them. A series of loud moans leave your lips like:

“Yes Alex yes!”

“Faster.”

“Oh god.”

“Don’t stop!”  

Alex shouts over your loud voice, “Matt, I fucking swear I’m not touching her!”

The way you moan, “Fuck Al” seems to just dismiss what Alex said straight away though.

“Stop!” Matt shouts back, obviously angry now.

You immediately contradict in a fake moan, “Don’t stop!”

“Alex!” You all but scream as you bang on the ceiling of the bunk again a few times.

You go to take it a step further, but you’re apparently not allowed, “Fuck, Alex plea-”

Your boyfriend puts his hand over your mouth so you can’t carry on. However, you just start dramatically fake moaning, and it sounds a lot dirtier because his hand is over your mouth.

You carry on until you get a rise out of Matt despite Alex pleading with you to stop with a scared look on his face. But you know your brother was about to stop so you just looked at your boyfriend’s gorgeous brown eyes and carried on.

And before you know it Matt is swearing getting himself out of his bunk and the curtain of yours is practically ripped open. As soon as you see sight of your brother you stop the fake moans completely as if it never happened.

Alex holds both his hands up in the air as if he’s being held at gunpoint. Matt can quite clearly see you're fully clothed and have a massive shit eating grin on your face.

“Damn that was good, thanks Al.” You joke to your boyfriend but you’re looking at your brother.

Matt holds up a finger at you and warns, “You’re on very thin ice right now.”

He looks angry and embarrassed all at once. He’s bright red but looks absolutely fuming so you can’t stop your laugh.

You giggle questioning, “Why because you know your best mate can fuck your sister?”

Jamie bursts out laughing at that and you crumble into a louder laugh.

“Stop it.” Alex gasps, playfully hitting your shoulder once again looking petrified as he glanced from you to your brother.

“I don’t need to hear whatever that was.” Matt scorns you and you’re very quick to give him some backchat.

“Did you just admit to us all that you’ve never given Bre an orgasm? Because if you don’t know what those sounds were then I feel sorry for her.” You joke back trying to be cocky.

Jamie’s laugh echoes through the bus and you can hear Miles cackling from below. You could see Nick gasping for breath in a fit of laughter and Alex gasps in shock from beside you.

“You need to fuck off Y/N.” Matt gives you one more death glare before he stalks back to his bunk.

“Oh pull the drum stick out your arse!” You say getting a little annoyed at how your brother couldn’t take a joke. “You better hope our hotel rooms are never next to each other.”

“Shut the fuck up. I won’t tell you again.” Matt says as he gets back into his bunk and shuts his curtain in a strop.

“Aw…” You pout turning back to Alex in your bunk. You give him a quick kiss and then joke, “Better save the next orgasm for the next hotel Darling.”

“I’m begging you to stop talking.” Alex shakes his head, still looking at you a little shocked that you’d actually done what you just had.  

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from Matt.” You giggle, and you say louder so the bus can hear you, “He’s not that scary... Just gotta bring up the time he shat himself when we were in the bat house in Chester Zoo and he quietens right down.”

You all hear Matt shout, “Fuck off!”

You and everyone else on the bus, bar Matt, started laughing then and you were still giggling away when you cuddled yourself into your boyfriend's body. Jamie and Miles begin to applaud you during their continued laughter which just makes your giggles difficult to silence.

Alex is still half shocked as he cuddled you into him, loving your humour but not actually believing you just faked an orgasm that loud on a tour bus surrounded by all your mates and your brother. He shakes his head and kisses the top of yours before telling you, “You’re gunna be the death of me.”

“Least it’ll be a fun death.” You joke and Alex laughs.

“You’re right.” Alex chuckles when you look up at him. You're grinning like an idiot and Alex tells you, “I love you, you psycho.”

“Love you too, weirdo.” You grin and proceed to kiss him sweetly.

After the kiss though you actually want to go to sleep in your boyfriend's arms peacefully. So despite Nick, Miles, and Jamie all still chuckling away, you turn back towards the curtain to redraw it and as you do you catch Jamie’s eye.

You wink at him before drawing the curtain and Jamie wolf whistles, which has you and Alex giggling away together as you cuddle yourself into him once more. You kiss Alex once more before playfully calling out to the others who were still laughing, “Night boys”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Thank you for reading x

#alex turner x reader #alex x reader #alex tuner #alex #turner #arctic monkeys #arcticmonkeys #alex arctic monkeys #AM #alex turner one shot #alex turner imagine #alex turner fluff #alex turner drabble #alex turner blurb #alex turner fanfic #arctic monkeys fanfic #alex turner x y/n #alex turner x you #matt helders #jamie cook #nick o'malley #miles kane #whatever people say I am that's what I'm not #wpsiatwin #favourite worst nightmare #fwn #humbug #suck it and see #sias #tranquility base hotel and casino

[denimbex1986]

'A few days after the marriage equality bill was passed, Andrew Haigh's 'All of Us Strangers' started making its rounds again on social media, since it arrived (just in time, one would say) in Greek theatres. The film, which was one of the last screenings at the "Premiere Nights" held at the IDEAL cinema, is now also being screened at Cinobo Opera and belongs to the fantasy romance genre . Between us, there is so much more.

I won't lie. When I found out it was a fantasy romance, I had no idea that I would end up with tears in my eyes and so emotionally charged. Haigh's magical realism beautifully embraces the central theme and opens up a huge conversation about queer identity. As Christos Politis (aka Christos doesn't live here anymore) said on LIFO's 'The Review' podcast: “I wanted to see a queer film but luckily I didn't just see a queer film. If I had to put it somewhere, I would definitely put it very high on the lists of the best queer films ever made […] Combined, it blew me to pieces.”

Same Christos, same 🥲

When the broken fire alarm goes off, Adam (Andrew Scott) , a lonely screenwriter, descends on the entrance of the apartment building. Looking up at the other apartments, he sees only one has light: Harry's (Paul Mescal) . He shows up drunk at his door and jokingly says "should I come in?", to which Adam replies "no" (seriously, who would throw a package at Paul Mescal?!). From there begins a strange, sad and bittersweet journey of self-discovery and exploration.

Everyone's performances (well, 4 people were all) had something unreal: You could understand everything from their eyes! With the feeling of loneliness overwhelming every frame of the film, Andrew Scott was the personification of a tragic character; the viewer knows everything, but the protagonist discovers it along the way. On the other hand, Paul Mescal brought an air of melancholy as Harry, portraying a young man both full of love and sadness.

' All of Us Strangers ' explores queer sexuality, both from the protagonists' conversations and from a parent's perspective. First spoiler: ours turns out to be little delulu as he sees the ghosts of his parents when he visits the house where he grew up. Based on this, he begins to reminisce about his childhood with the help of his parents, in the style: "Do you remember when...". We've all experienced it with our own parents and we've all stopped them from saying it. This movie, however, made me want to listen to it again.

One of the many conversations he decides to have with his parents (Claire Foy and Jamie Bell) is that of coming out . Being almost 50, Adam has relatively recently discovered and embraced this side of himself. So when he decides to talk to his parents, he does it piecemeal: first to his mother and then to his father. Somewhat stereotypically (although the percentages also speak), mothers tend to accept their child's "difference" more easily than fathers. The punch that this film has in store for us, however, is the immediate acceptance of the father.

In an incredibly touching scene, Jamie Bell apologizes to his cinematic son for not protecting him from bullying at school, culminating in a hug. But in the reflection of the mirror behind them, we see the father embracing a younger version of the son - when he needed him most.

Adam's conversation with his mother is a great parallel to the conversation with older generations. We see her fearing the outcry, talking about illness and lonely life, expressing prejudices that have been cultivated in the way of thinking of many older people. In other words, a man can be lonely, as long as he is straight. In this case, it's typical. But if someone is homosexual, then this is the cause of his loneliness.

The discussion in question:

Adam: “Men can get married. And the women."

Mom: "What, between them?"

Oh yes"

M: "Why?"

A: "What do you mean why?"

M: “Isn't it like you want it all to yourself? Do you want to get married and have children?'

A: “I don't know. It wasn't possible for so many years that I thought it wasn't worth trying to get married and have children."

That sentence hurt 🥲

Overall, the whole movie is a trip down memory lane. With every flashback of Adam, I find myself in my father's house, with all the beautiful memories. It is still a heartbreaking story that belongs to the spectrum of the fantastic, but it makes you feel very familiar. Perhaps one of the best films of '24.

PS: And a fan fact: The house where the scenes with Adam and his parents were filmed is actually the real house where the director of the movie grew up!

Tissues, sweet and good viewing 🥲'

#Andrew Haigh #All of Us Strangers #Andrew Scott #Paul Mescal #Claire Foy #Jamie Bell

[scuttle-buttle]

Chapter 3

Summary: Catherine Sinclair is the younger, estranged half-sister of renowned F1 driver James Hunt. Things get a bit complicated when she decides to reenter James’ life and ends up meeting his rival - Niki Lauda. Engines ignite as Catherine finds herself caught between her feelings for Niki and the rivalry that the two men share. Will she pump the brakes or let herself crash in the inferno?

Pairing: Niki Lauda (Rush 2013) x fem!OC Catherine Sinclair

Rating: E for eventual smut

Chapter Tags: substance use, period typical sexism, brief slut shaming (although sex-positive irl in this house), hunt being a bro 

WC: ~770

You followed the sound of music and cloud of lingering marijuana smoke to the party. Entering the tent, you stood on your toes to get a better look over the crowd. James stood in the back nursing a beer. “Hey Kitty! Over here!” he waved you over. 

Pushing your way through the bodies you made your way to him. James let go of the probable model on his arm to hug you tight. “This is my little sister!” he announced to those watching. He’d clearly had a few drinks by now.

“Maybe we could talk outside? It’s a bit cramped here.”

“Of course, yeah,” he led you outside.

The cool air felt much better on your skin than the musky air inside the tent. You took a breath and turned to your brother. “Formula 1, eh? How’d Susan take it?” Your step mother was wary of James’ aspirations when you were younger - no doubt this was giving her arrhythmia. 

“Oh mum’s fine. Grins and bears it like always,” he chuckled. “But you! You haven’t called in months, how’s university? How much longer until you finish?”

Grimacing you tell him “I actually finished last year. Sorry I never phoned. I figured you were busy with the drive and all.”

“I’m not too busy for you though Kitty Cat… you know I worry about you.”

“Why? I’m great. Finished uni and they hired me at an art museum working with the Medieval department. I’m the only woman there too,” you state proudly. Even if your social life was lacking you found great satisfaction in your work.

“Because you’re lonely, Catherine.” He was serious when he actually used your real name. 

Sighing, you know you can try to defend yourself but that it won’t go far. You really were pretty lonely. Even so, you argue  “I met up with the secretary from work for lunch this week. And I went on a date last month. Bloke was horrid but at least he paid for dinner.” James gave you a face letting you know he thought you were full of shit. 

Jutting your hip out, you shrug and say “and I made a friend today.”

“Oh yeah? Who?”

“Niki.”

“Niki….Niki Lauda?”

“Who else?”

He bellowed a full out laugh this time, breaking the tension between the two of you for a moment. “Niki doesn’t have friends. That rat is the world’s biggest arsehole!” 

“Oh really? Then why did he invite me to Maranello this week? Is that not what friends do? Hang out?” In your haste to prove your social life to James you didn’t notice the odd face he made.

“Cat, you’re joking? Niki asked you to visit him at Ferrari?”

“Yeah, and? Like it's so hard to believe a guy would want to spend time with me.” You looked away, hoping he wouldn’t notice how self-conscious you sounded.

“It’s not you. You’re not… going around with him are you?”

“Hah!” you rolled your eyes at his suggestion, “yes, James, in the half hour I knew the man he managed to take me to dinner, but don’t worry I kept my skirt on-” came your sarcastic quip.

“Ah come on don’t-ugh. He’s my biggest rival!”

“I just said nothing happened,” you laughed at his reaction. “Nothing will, either. I’m not trying to get involved anytime soon, let alone an F1 driver. If they’re all like you then god help us. Where is your flavor of the week, anyway? She get tired of you already?” you bit lightheartedly.

Hunt squinted at you before finally letting the tension from his shoulders fall. “Just… if you go, be careful. He’s a good man, but a right arse. I don’t want to see you get upset because he’s bad company.” 

“I’m a big girl Jamie, I can handle a little German.”

“Austrian.”

“You would know,” you shot back. A beat passed between you.

“I’m really glad you came... I’ve missed you. Will you come again? And actually call this time?”

You reach up to pull him to you, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. “I will. I’ve missed you so much too.” The two of you stand holding each other for a moment. “Would you look at us, actually doing what we want with our lives? Who woulda thought.”

James lets go first; you push him towards the tent. “Go, have fun with your posse. I’ll see you around.”

“You promise?” he points an accusing finger at you as he backs towards the tent. 

“I promise.”

Tag list: @ay0nha @apparrio

#niki lauda rush 2013 #niki lauda fanfiction #niki x reader #niki lauda x reader #niki lauda x oc #sleeping with the enemy #swte scuttle-buttle #daniel bruhl niki lauda #niki lauda daniel bruhl #daniel bruhl #daniel brühl #rush 2013

[wandsandwheezes]

Family Man | F. W

TW // mentions of prem kids, pregnancy, children but mostly pure fluff

Taglist ✨ @witch-and-a-half @weasleysflowr @hufflepuffgirly @theweasleysredhair @wand3ringr0s3

If you asked Fred Weasley what his pride and joy was, people would usually expect him to beam proudly about the success of the shop with his brother, nevertheless, when he smiles fondly and says 'Thea Weasley' people are more often than not surprised.

Fred loved his Daughter so much that words couldn't describe how much happiness filled his heart every time he saw her. The second she was born, she had him wrapped around her little finger, a father that would do anything for her.

When you and Fred married, you were quick to fall pregnant with your first child, a Daughter, named after your Mother but the absolute spitting image of her father, however her soft strawberry blonde locks curled into ringlets, a trait that seemed to sprout as soon as her hair was long enough.

"How're my girls doing?" Fred whispers, pulling off his jacket, having just walked in from a day at the shop. You're sat with your daughter nestled into your side, about an hour or so deep into a nap. Fred gently scoops her up, not before pressing a small kiss to your forehead with a sweet hello, her little arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, falling back asleep instantly.

He took her up to her bed, tucking her in underneath her covers before pressing a gentle kiss to her hair, "goodnight my sweet angel, sleep well"

"I wish she'd stop growing," He says, joining you on the sofa, allowing you to cuddle into his side, his hands moving to play with your hair as he kicks off his shoes. "one day I'll wake up and my little girl will be an adult."

Laughing gently, you trace circles on his chest, feeling relaxed against him, you reminice of the moments you'd had together as teenagers, talking like this about your futures, getting married, how many kids you'd wanted and how you'd both give anything to do all of that with each other.

"Unfortunately Freddie, all they do is grow," You move to press a kiss to his cheek, nuzzling your nose into his neck for warmth, causing him to wrap his arms even tighter around you.

Little did you know that day, you were already pregnant with your second & third weasley children - the twins, like their father but one boy and one girl, Lee and Winnie. Identical apart from the eyes, the girl like her fathers and the boy much like yours, both with signature weasley hair.

Not even a few months after the twins you found out you were having another son, Billy who looked much like his uncle Bill did as a child, as Molly had pointed out hence his name. You originally wanted to call him Jamie but when you met your little boy for thr first time, both you and Fred decided that Billy was definitely more fitting.

finally your youngest daughter, Arabella. She was a gift that none of you had expected, after some complications after having Billy, you didn't think that having another child would be on the cards again. You found out you were pregnant a week or so before Fred's Birthday you had taken test after test, and even a trip to St Mungos to make sure, but as your doctor assured you, Arabella was on her way.

The thing about little Bella was that she was a tiny baby, a premature birth. When she was born she was so fragile looking and hearing her cries broke Fred's heart. The doctors said that she was quite frankly a miracle, making her just another pillar of pride for your adoring husband.

Having five children with Fred was an interesting experience, the house grew louder and louder and soon became like a second Burrow, children in and out of the house, magic everywhere. It truly was reminiscent of both of your childhoods. Despite having all the children to look after, he loved all of them with his whole heart and nothing less.

Your kids loved loved going to see Fred's parents and getting to spend time with Uncle George and Uncle Ron it was heart-warming to watch your family love the people you chose to be your family. Winnie absolutely adored being around Ginny and Lee wanted nothing more than to be like his Uncle Harry.

When Thea's Hogwarts letter came, Fred genuinely thought he was going to have a heart attack, "Merlin, Y/N, my little girl isn't old enough to be going to Hogwarts!" he was sat across the table from you eating his lunch, The sounds of Lee and Winnie bickering as Billy quietly draws and Arabella sits in your lap, listening into the conversation. To you, you were watching your babies grow up right before your eyes but to Fred they were always his babies.

"Freddie, my love it'll be the twins next, Lee wont shut up about getting to see Uncle Harry at school." you laugh, playing with the little curls on Arabella's head, a trait inherited from her oldest sister, "give it four years and our Bella will be off on her first year at Hogwarts with all of her siblings."

"I don't even want to think about that, I really don't know how Mum did it, sending us off one by one." you laugh lightly looking at your husband with a small smirk, "From what i heard from Molly, she was all but kicking you onto the platform, apparently you and George were a nightmare"

"We so were not!" he defended, feigning fake offense, rolling his eyes and taking a bite from his sandwich. "I think we were absolute golden angels" you raise an eyebrow at him, shaking your head, "You can be a golden angel and take Thea with you to Diagon Alley tomorrow to get her supplies, I don't fancy a day trip to London with the whole weasley clan just yet!" you laugh, he nods finishing up his food, the plate finding it's way to the sink, being washed up magically like at the Burrow, he presses a kiss to your hair, heading quickly to step into his father shoes, only to break up the growing argument between the twins.

You sat, content in the family you created, praising your younger self for putting up with all of Fred's antics because really, you were the luckiest girl on earth, with the greatest man alive, a loving father and the best Husband.

The time came to send Thea off on the Hogwarts Express, Molly had agreed to look after the rest of the children as you sent off your oldest, you were crying with fred as you hugged your little girl goodbye before she got onto the train. "Remember, Thea, it doesn't matter what house you get put in, and if you need someone to help you, you find Ted or Uncle Harry and they'll help you out." she laughs, wrapping her arms around her father's neck giving him a long hug. "I'll be fine, Dad, after all, I've got the weasley name to live up to!" he smiles proudly at his daughter, i give her one last kiss, giving her a couple of galleons for the train, "I love you, Thea." she hugs me again, "Love you too, Mumma!"

"One down, Four to go." you joke, leaning into your husband's side as you wave the train off, "At least the twins will have each other and Thea next year, the poor girl is all on her own!" you shake your head, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I'm sure she's already made friends, she's much like you when it comes to being outgoing..." he smiles, calming down a little, "I can't believe we've just sent our first off to Hogwarts." you hug him gently. "Neither can I, Freddie, neither can I."

#fred and george #fred weasley #fred weasley fic #harry potter #weasley twins #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley x reader

[futurewriter2000]

Little Secrets - pt. 2

A/N: I couldn't found a perfect gif. Okay?! But this is the closest I could get. Plus, I really have to go to the bathroom, so this is the quickest gif I could find. I also spent three days writing this because I had about thousands of scenes in my head but I had to write only one. I love it. Hope yall love it too <3

XX

All five of you have been sitting at the table; your father, James, Sirius, you and your mother, who had just brought some tea.

Sirius has been smiling at you. You had been smiling at him but not because you had pleasantly enjoyed his sudden appearance, though he was a quite fit young man, but because it was all so amusing.

"So you have a sister?" Sirius turned his head to James, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yes..." James smiled awkwardly. "My younger sister, (Y/N)."

"That you had never mentioned." you grit your teeth a little and raised an eyebrow.

"Why haven't you, son?" asked your father, meanwhile your mother went to get Sirius some warm clothes.

"...it... didn't come in conversation..." James shrugged.

Both you and Sirius let out a laugh, exchanging a familiar look, as if the two of you were old friends already.

"Does anybody in Hogwarts know that you have a sister?" you asked, getting more stiff and angry, though you pretty much knew the answer. "I mean, some purebloods surely have to know." your tone started to get louder, causing James to sink in his chair. "Or was the fact that you have a Squib sister put shame to your popular reputation?" you stood up from your chair, glaring at your brother and seeing his friend stare at you with wide eyes.

You were a Squib?

You ignored his expression and made your way up-stairs, going off to bed. You didn't cry and you didn't yell. You weren't really sad to cry or angry to yell... you were just confused. That's all.

---

A few days passed and you didn't much talk to James. You avoided him, called a few friends and went into town with them. They were all mostly Muggles and you didn't mind that. You kept your secret life separate but you did tell them that your brother was keeping you as some sort of secret from his friends and the only explanation you had was that he was some sort of ashamed of you.

"That's rubbish, Pea."

That's what your friends called you. A nickname from the first day of school all those years ago, there was a little accident with peas at lunch. Everybody called you Pea since then. Everybody except your family.

"Than what other explanation is there?" you started to get frustrated, digging your head into your hands. "I just don't understand!"

"Why don't you just ask him?"

"I did. He's determined to avoid the topic." you drank your coffee and threw yourself back.

"And his friend?" she raised one of her eyebrows.

"Sirius."

"Sirius. What a name..." she started to tease you. "Is he cute?"

"He is." you smiled a bit. "Quite fit."

"Uff! What does he look like?"

"Well, he's tall, a bit shorter than Jamie but he's got a gorgeous face. Like if Aphrodite had a son with Kleopatra, he'd be the product of them."

"Hell, that good looking?" she rolled her eyes, thinking you were being your usual sarcastic self.

But you weren't. He was literally beautiful. "Okay, look. I am not in love with the guy. I just have eyes and my eyes love pretty things. He is one of those pretty things."

"Objectifying now, are we?" she continued to tease.

"You know what I meant."

"What about Alissa?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows and causing you to sink in your chair.

"What about Alissa?" you smiled sheepeshly.

"I saw the way she hugged you in front of school."

"Yeah but I don't know if she's into... you know..."

"Girls?"

"Yes! It's so hard to tell. I mean, she gives me so many signs-"

"There you go. She likes you."

"- but then she also ignores me at times. Like this hot-and-cold energy."

"Oh." your friend frowned at the sight and slumped her shoulders. "How about we go to a party tonight? You and me-"

"And?"

"Some friends." she grinned.

"Whiskey?" you grinned as well, feeling so much lighter at the proposition.

"There has to be whiskey. If not, we're leaving."

"Okay, let me just call mum. Tell her, I'm going to be a tad late." you winked at her and ran to the payphone at the back of the cafe. You spun the number and waited.

Your family loved the phone. Being a wizard, the communication usually fell through the letters but since you lived with one foot in the Muggle world, the discovery of the payphone has made you overly-excited as well as your parents. The communication was much faster and you could always call your home whenever you needed.

"Hello?" there was a foreign voice that only seemed to belong to one person in that house.

"Sirius? Is that you?"

"What kind of sorcery is this?!" he shouted into the phone. "Who is this!?"

"Sirius, it's (Y/N)."

"Oh! James' little secret sister."

"Yeah, that one." you rolled your eyes.

"Are you stuck in there?"

"Where?"

"In this tiny box? Do I have to call your mum to get you out?"

"Sirius, this is a phone."

"Oh! I've heard of those. It's a Muggle thing." he let out a laugh. "Foolish little thing. When you can just write something and poof it to someone's way."

"Well, I can't really poof it, can't I?" you smiled as you heard him gulp on the other side.

"Uh... sorry... I forgot."

"It's fine." you giggled, letting him know you are not offended from his reckless words. "Can you get mum anyway?"

"Why?"

"Because I have to tell her I'm going to come home late today."

"Oh." you could see him leaning on the wall and smirking at the idea. "Where are you off to?"

"Only a friend's house.

"A-ha." he doubted. "Friend's house." he continued to speak in a mocking tone. "Am I-"

"Oh, you've discovered the phone." you heard James in the background, laughing. "Who is it?"

"This thing is magnificent, Prongs. I can talk to her like she's here, though she's not in this tiny little box.... is she?" he whispered the last part, covering the phone.

"It's (y/n)? Is she still mad at me?" he leaned on the phone. "Stop being such a stubborn little arse and get over it!" he shouted, meanwhile you rolled your eyes.

"She says she's staying at a friend's house?" said Sirius.

"No, she's not." James laughed. "Her friend, Mandy, lives with her uncle who doesn't approve of (y/n) what-so-ever. She's going to a party."

"Am not!" you shouted through the phone, clearly lying. "I'm not going to Mandy's... I'm going to Zoe's."

"Zoe? I thought she goes to Greece during the summer."

"She's staying this summer. Broke a leg."

"Broke a leg my arse!" James shouted.

"Can we come too?" you heard Sirius through the phone.

"Maybe next time. I don't think I can manage James' face without punching it yet." you shrugged.

"Can I come then?"

"Oi! Don't be a prick."

"What?! It's a party!"

"Just tell mum I'm coming home late and that-" and with that the call got cut. You looked at it with surprise and then just shrugged. "They got the message."

---

You had come home, not drunk, not tipsy... just a little dazed. You wished you were wasted but a memory of you not being able to walk a few years ago due to some heavy home-made Scottish Whiskey, you had decided that getting wasted wasn't worth it.

You put your shoes away carefully and quietly before going to the kitchen. A simple walk home sobered you up. You could walk normally, feel lighter on your feet but wanting to collapse into your bed as soon as possible. Though you were starving, so the fridge was the first stop. Toast, mayo, baloney and cheese.

"Mmmmmm." you rolled your eyes back from the delicious flavor in your mouth, almost melting as it filled your stomach. When your eyes rolled back to the sandwich you felt like you saw a spark of light from the corner of your eye. You glanced back up and saw a familiar figure standing on the porch.

He was leaning over the fence, mind deep in thought, eyes far in the distance. Brushing your hands on your pants, you opened the door from the porch and peeked out.

"Peek a boo." you said casually but he didn't budge, only turned back calmly.

He gave you a soft smile and moved a little to give you space. "How was the party?" he said as he flickered the cigarette away, shutting up the grasshoppers.

"Eh." you shrugged, mimicking his position. "Wasn't really a party, more like a friendly gathering."

"Bummer."

"Not really." you laughed. "There were all these random people, Muggles as you call them and I knew three or four of them. People kept leaving and coming, random people that I know from school but never really hung out with them, you know?" you looked at him and he smiled, listening on. "And I did talk and flirt with this guy, who kept coming onto me but all the time I kept observing others and by the end of the night, when I came home, there was only one person on my mind and it wasn't that guy- that random, thought quite charming and nice guy- but it was this girl from school with pretty bluish-greenish-brownish eyes."

"All three colours?" he laughed.

"They change colour a lot, okay?" you laughed. "But it's not even the colour, more like the way she looks at me- like she's in love with me but I don't know if she's in love with me because one day she's all for it and another moment she's ignoring me. It's so frustrating."

"So you like girls?"

"More or so. I don't mind guys either."

"Which one do you prefer?" he asked from curiosity.

Though it wasn't one of your favorite questions to hear, you still replied casually. "It's not the matter of preference, more like the matter of which I fall in love with. Guys are simple. They think simple and there's no secret meaning behind their words. You know when they want to snog you or shag you or when they want something serious or not serious. Simple."

"And girls are not simple?" he laughed.

"Oh, girls are so complicated!" you groaned. "Not all of them of course. Not me." you laughed and he chuckled as well.

"Not you?"

"No. I don't like to complicate things just because of how my last girl did."

"Your ex?"

"Not really an ex. It was an odd situation but listen up to this." you started to get more comfortable. "She and me have been writing to each other- she was a tough nut to crack to be honest. I was breaking the ice with that girl for like a year and a half. She was hot and cold with me. I never knew what she meant. One day she was giving me hints she was into me, another times she was completely ignoring me."

"Is this the same girl you talked about before?"

"No-" you stopped, thinking back a little. "Though it is a similar situation, isn't it?" you asked him, meanwhile he laughed.

"I think so."

"Hm... I'll get back to that thought." you pinned the realisation down and continued with the story. "Okay, so she was finally starting to open up to me- also she was tall and dark and gorgeous green eyes, super hot- I can't leave that out."

"No, you can't."

"She was getting to open up, telling me stuff about her family, her friends, which classmates she hated and I was getting excited because LOOKIE THAT! SHE MIGHT TAKE A FANCY IN ME." you said over-excitedly, throwing your hands in the air before your face and your hands fell back down. "And then I see her hugging a boy in the hall and suddenly they're both dating."

"Oh, bummer!" He laughed. "She was straight."

"Oh, hell no." you laughed. "That girl was definitely not straight but her parents were, so-"

"Oh, makes sense."

"Perfectly good sense. She's studying to become a lawyer."

"A lawyer?"

"Yes, a lawyer."

"Bet her parents are happy."

"Over the moon, I suppose."

"And you?"

"Eh. I moved on from her a long time ago. To be honest, I just liked the chase." you let out another laugh and he rolled his eyes.

"Really?"

"I always love a little chase or runner dynamic."

"So you're the chaser?"

"Or the runner, depends which one I'm feeling. Today was more like a runner but when I play the runner, they really give up easily, you know?"

"I actually do know." he shook his head a bit, pulled out another cigarette and lit it up. "Does James know?"

"He does but not about... you know... them. He just knows about it."

"What do you mean?" he started to laugh again. You were funny. He liked funny girls and from the way you reacted to James' little secret, he thought you'd be just like the others but you were so simple and funny with a tad of mystery in your eyes.

"He only knows bits of it."

"Bits of it?" he quirked an eyebrow. "I thought the two of you tell each other everything."

"Clearly not." you rolled your eyes and dropped your head back. "I'm a secret."

"A pretty secret." he blurted out before he could help himself. Noticing what he had said as he had watched you drop your head back, your hair flowing in mid air and your eyes focused on the distance, he really couldn't keep it in. James kept you a secret. A pretty little secret and he never understood why. He had known him for so long and he hadn't mentioned you once in all those years. Did Peter know? Or Remus? Or did really nobody know that James Potter really had a younger sister, who had no magical abilities.

"You think I'm pretty?" you smirked, quirking an eyebrow yourself.

He let out an embarrassed laugh and looked away just before his eyes locked with yours again, the blue that is bright in the day, now dark, almost black in the night. "I have eyes, (y/n). It's just a mere observation."

"Oh." you laughed as well, jumping down from the fence and putting your hand on his shoulder. "Than as a mere observation, I can say that you are extremely hot." you put your hand on his cheek and tapped it a few times just before you made your way to your bed. "Goodnight, Sirius Black."

He watched you walk away with his cheeks burning red. Bold, daunting- you were. Similar in a way with how James acted but he had to admit that you seemed quite more of an adventure than James. It sounded ignorant to say that. You were new, something hidden, now on the surface where he can marvel at you. He felt just a little bit more excited than the day he met James. Such a thrill, knowing that he has all the summer getting to spend with you.

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #james potter #james potter imagine #marauders #marauders imagine #marauders imagines #marauders x reader

[definitely-not-a-wasp]

I'm okay with a bunch of disorganized rambling honestly 😂. But if I had to narrow it down then I guess I want to know about main and side characters and how they compare to the original?

I know that tumblr is the Prime Site for disorganized rambling, but I have perfectionism issues. But that is a great question, nonnie, and I will be happy to ramble is a slightly less disorganized fashion.

When reading Maximum Ride as a somewhat-formed adult who discovered they enjoy English classes about 3.5 years ago, I noticed that JP, when writing, doesn't understand consistency. At all. Which means, in many ways, I have a free sandbox to work with.

Spoilers for my rewrite WIP, because I strongly believe that if a story would no longer be good if one had spoilers, then it wasn’t a good story in the first place.

I'm trying to keep the backstories the same, plus or minus the scientific method and a few characters (RIP my OCs. I want to bring you back so bad but it wouldn't fit with the thematic narrative). I've mostly kept their (starting) abilities the same, too. Without further ado, I'm going to introduce some WorldBuilding. (If I'm good at nothing else, I'm good at world building)

First off. Logically.

How are they getting Cable?

How are they getting internet?

How are they getting money to eat and stuff?

JP's answer: handwave it off. Sometimes you need to ignore logistics for the sake of plot. This is an answer I'd accept from an author that I like, such as Julie Kagawa, that makes amazing worlds, characters, and narratives that I will happily handwave a few things that wouldn't work in the real world. James Patterson, on the other hand, did not make any of that; he made a cool concept, some good rough-draft characters, and nothing else, and therefore this is an unforgivable sin.

Wasp's answer: They are not getting any of that.

Introducing Cottagecore.

The house is off the grid. Solar Panels and a wind turbine create electricity. They have their own well. They grow their own food, raise livestock for eggs, milk, and wool, and trap fish for meat. They get money through dumpster diving and pawning. They still have to steal half of the necessities they can’t make themselves. They do have a TV, but it can access about three channels on a clear day. Internet is only a thing when they go to the public library.

Giving the flock a background that’s heavy in farming and livestock rearing shores up the plot holes mentioned above, but in my opinion, ties the flock more tightly to the environment, thus giving them something tangible to lose when they have to leave the E-shaped house. Because they’re not just leaving a house and a safety net— they’re leaving their entire way of life with no promise of getting it back. It also gives them a tangible connection to the earth in case I want to actually pursue the global warming themes.

Main Characters

Maximum “Max” Ride (Birthname: nonexistent)

First off, I'm letting her be Latina, James Patterson.

In the original, Max was very much the headstrong, independent, action girl. Leaning into Strong Female Character (TM), but overall she had a strong, solid foundation and enough character consistency through the first three books for me to not have to just make an entire new character. However, I felt that she was, in some ways, a bit too Action-Girl and Strong and Capable. Yes, Max is incredible and competent, but she’s also fourteen. She’s a child.

In the rewrite, Max’s character is still headstrong, independent, capable, and sometimes not the best at listening to others. All of that’s the same. But she’s that way not because of girlboss energy, but because there’s no one else to do it. She doesn’t want to lead, necessarily. She wants to get some rest and let someone else handle the problems life keeps throwing at her. But she knows if she did that, the responsibility of leader would fall to Fang and Iggy, and she can’t ask that of them. She doesn’t want to place that burden on anyone else (Look, there’s a reason I chose Ayano’s Theory of Happiness as one of her signifier songs, okay?). Her narrative is very much centered around burden, and also around loss. She lost her cultural heritage when she was taken away from her birth family, she lost her childhood to being a leader, she lost a good deal of her friends to the school (RIP my OCs), she lost Jeb, and then she lost her stability. And she’s going to lose a lot more before the end of the story. So a lot of her character arc deals with learning that there are some things she can’t fix, some things that can’t be recovered. She can’t get the E-shaped house back. She can’t get her Little Baby Angel back, even after they rescue her. She can’t get her friends back from the school. And instead of working so hard to recover those or find something to replace them, she has to learn to live with that sense of loss and move on with her life without feeling guilty for leaving things behind. And she has to learn that asking for help and sharing her burden is selfish or weak.

Other changes I made that don’t necessarily fit into her narrative arc, but you asked for rambling so rambling you shall get:

Max hallucinates, because mental illness is also a prominent theme in the rewrite. She doesn’t have a psychotic disorder, but her C-PTSD causes visual/audio hallucinations, especially when she’s stressed or sleep deprived. 

Max ends up having a Gender Discovery throughout the story and goes by He/She pronouns eventually. I don’t know when, but it will happen.

As far as genetic modifications/special quirks go, she can fly faster than the rest of the flock, but not 300 miles per hour. She averages about sixty mph with diving speeds of 240. She cannot breathe underwater or shut down her organs on command. She also has the Super Special Power to predict the weather, but that’s not because of genetics, it’s because she has chronic pain in her right arm that gets worse when weather fronts change.

Her favored weapon is her trusty rebar that she picked up from a condemned building. I think she’s going to name it eventually but I don’t know what yet.

Fang (Birth name: Gabriel Xue)

In canon, Fang is characterized in early books by being the “dark, strong, silent type”. He’s probably the most reserved member of the flock, to the point of falling into the Brooding Mystery Man trope in parts of the book. They care a lot, but they’re not the best at conveying that, especially with the younger members of the flock, and at times their high empathy leads them to making mistakes. Despite the high empathy, he’s often compared to a robot due to his lack of expression and external emotions.

Well, first change is that they’re not a man, so jot that down—

If Max’s narrative is centered around burden and loss, I would probably say that Fang’s is centered around humanity and moving on. None of the flock was treated as human while in the school, but Fang was more often than not treated like a wild animal due to “behavioral issues”, and therefore had and continues to have a difficult time considering themselves real and alive, let alone human. This manifests through a several different ways— where in canon Fang definitely had a ‘fight’ reaction, in the re-write they have a ‘freeze’ or ‘shut down’ instinct. They’re selectively mute for multiple reasons (including derealization, jaw pain, the fact that they didn’t learn how to speak until they were 10, and genuinely forgetting it’s something they’re capable of), a period of Cotard’s syndrome, and a tendancy towards self-loathing and self-sacrifice. In short, Fang is still halfway stuck in the mindset that most of the flock grew out of when they escaped in the school, and doesn’t know how to move past it.

Much of their character arc revolves around not necessarily seeing themselves as human, but learning to treat themselves as human even when they don’t feel like one (or even feel real), and knowing that just because they don’t feel human all the time doesn’t mean anyone else can treat them the same. They never start easily expressing their emotions, and they’re always going to be selectively mute, but they learn to accept that those aspects of themself aren’t character flaws or signs that they’re sub-human. 

Other additions to Fang’s character include:

They don’t get their hair cut in New York. It stays long through the entire series. They have the longest hair in the flock by the end of the series, and they can wear it in so many styles.

Fang uses they/it pronouns because themes of reclaiming the weapons used against it and, more importantly, Gender.

They’re actually really good at spelling compared to the rest of the flock, because they and Iggy communicate with Print-On-Palm when they’re nonverbal, and they’re nonverbal for some pretty long stretches of time. 

They and Max have... zero romantic tension. At all. There is none. The number of times Max calls them her sibling/little sibling in the first arc alone is staggering, and that will not change.

Igneous “Iggy” (Birthname: Jamsetta “Jamie” Griffiths)

I’ve talked about Iggy before. Canon doesn’t give us much to go off of, but from what’s shown, he’s smart, sarcastic, has sharper edges than Fang and Max, and also has a sizable ruthless streak. So that’s what I have to go off of.

The big difference between Iggy and Fang&Max is that Iggy has a much better memory of the School. Most of the flock have areas (months or years) that they don’t remember, or people that they’ve blocked from their mind, but Iggy... doesn’t. So he’s the one that remembers all of the other AVIAN test subjects that were old enough to have names and identities but died due to complications. Max might have the burden of leadership, but he has the burden of memory. And that has lead to both a massive fucking guilt complex, because why did he survive when they didn’t, and, as mentioned above, a ruthless streak that he doesn’t shy away from.

Which is to say, by the end of the story, Iggy has the highest kill count.

I love, love writing Iggy next to Max and Fang. I love writing Iggy next to Gazzy and Nudge. Because, I say this with all of the love of the world, but Iggy is not a good person. He is loyalty and love incarnate, and the world can burn down if he and his siblings are safe. Max and Fang will always try to save as many people as they can. They will wonder what’s wrong with them the first time they kill and don’t have a mental breakdown about it. They are good in a way that Iggy is not. He’s okay with killing Erasers. He’s okay with killing humans. He’s okay with killing people who might not necessarily deserve it, if they show themselves as a threat or are simply in the blast radius. He knows perfectly well that most of those Erasers he’s murdering are four and five and he is okay with that, because a lot of the AVIANs were that age when they died. (Yeah, in the rewrite it’s not Fang who has an issue with Ari; it’s Iggy who wants the 7-year-old wolf-boy dead.) 

And this is, of course, juxtaposed with Iggy being really, really good with Nudge and Gazzy (especially in the beginning). Because, again, he actually remembers being a child. He remembers a lot of kids that died and is therefore fiercely protective of the kids that didn’t, as well as fiercely protective of the innocence that he never got. So he’s the one that cooks their favorite foods when they’re having a bad day, always makes time when they want to talk about something, and convinces Max to let them go to that toy store in New York because, yeah, he Max and Fang aren’t kids. They never were. But Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel can be. (And if he has to be a murderer to preserve that, then he’s perfectly okay with that.)

He and Angel don’t get along very well, though. The telepath doesn’t like hanging out with the person with the most clear memories of the school.

Other additions:

Iggy is trans and says trans rights

He also has paranoid episodes, because C-PTSD. Sometimes they’re very helpful. Sometimes they are not.

I actually decided that he’s one of the flock that doesn’t meet their parents. I know in canon he did, but I always found that very clunky because it didn’t add to his character. He was one of the characters who, until it was convenient for the plot, seemed to care the least about his family. I’d much rather give that to a character whose arc would benefit from it.

Iggy! Gets! Older Sibling Rights! Seriously, he’s two months younger than Fang, he is just as capable.

Iggy does not know braille because Jeb decided it wasn’t necessary for him to know. Iggy is also the best speller in the flock, because Print-on-Palm was the only way to talk to Fang for a solid year. Yes he mocks everyone over this.

Iggy is the only member of the flock that enjoys swimming and can take into the air from water. Everyone else in the flock is incredibly jealous.

Nudge (Birthname: Monique Robinson)

If Iggy is defined by his memories, Nudge is his polar opposite. She was seven when she left the School, but she has next to no memories of it. She is missing a lot of time in the first year she escaped. And that causes... a lot of things. It makes her feel disconnected from her older siblings, it gives her the ability to function in society in a way the other’s can’t, it lets her feel less grief over the ones that didn’t make it and she doesn’t remember, it makes her feel guilty that she doesn’t remember what she’s old enough to know. 

Basically, in order for me to keep the character of Nudge as I saw her (more extroverted, not afraid of the world, fascinated with humans like her siblings aren’t, desiring to fit in instead of isolate), I had to put a little bit of distance between her and the flock. Of course, she loves them— that will in no way change— but she’s old enough that she should remember the school (and her dead friends) unlike Gazzy and Angel, but she can’t, and she very much fears forgetting the flock if anything happens to them. So she’s trying desperately to keep the flock close and wants desperately to experience the world at the same time, and doesn’t know what to do when she can’t have both. That’s her biggest character conflict throughout the series, along with that in-between area where she’s not quite where her older siblings are but understands so much more than Gazzy and Angel, and where she stands in that.

So yeah. Nudge’s journey is that in looking for belonging in the world, in her family, and in herself.

This is why she’s one of the ones that gets to find her parent, James Patterson. 

Other additions include:

She never straightens her hair. Never. Her resources at the E-shaped house aren’t perfect, but she still has learned how to take care of her hair and has a few styles she cycles through.

She becomes the default person Max sics on people when the flock is trying to befriend them. Also their de-facto diplomat around strangers.

As in canon, she does take some time away from the flock to expirience ‘normal life’. This does not last long due to the stress of being separated from her siblings/not being able to help them and [REDACTED]

Nudge is... not the only person in her head. I’m not focusing on it much because she doesn’t actually know and neither does the flock (I don’t know if they ever figure it out during the series, either), but she has dissociative identity disorder. She’s not aware of her alter(s?). Her alter isn’t super aware of her, either. 

The alter that I’ve developed is named Oxy and is not super aware of the outside world. In her eyes, she’s still seven and they’re still at the School. She would not recognize the body as her own if she looked in a mirror.

Nudge actually leaves the flock for a while to pursue her dream of living a normal life. She deserves it. She learns how to make muffins and the basics of software development. These things are unrelated.

Gasman (Birthname: No first name, surname “Falk”)

Honestly, writing Gazzy is kind of hard for me. Partially because I’m not great at writing kids, and partially because I feel like he’s a pretty surface-level character in-series that... isn’t super compelling in canon. But even if that’s the case, I try to treat all of my characters with respect, so here we go. In my rewrite, he escaped when he was four, which was half a lifetime ago for him, so his memories are ill-defined. Therefore, he managed to circumvent a lot of the trauma that the rest of the kids have, and not in the way Nudge did, which is by creating an elaborate blockage in her memories. 

Which means Gazzy... really doesn’t know how to deal with all of this traumatic stuff happening. So much of his development turns out to be a coming-of-age narrative. Learning how to deal with the horrors of what his siblings grew up with. Learning the fears that they had the entire time. Losing his innocence when everyone around him never had it in the first place, and being so terribly alone because of it. Because, really, how can you explain such a deep loss to people who never had what he had? How can they help in a way that matters?

Also, relationship-wise, I’m slowly deteriorating the relationship between him and Iggy. Slowly. Or, changing it, at least. Gazzy hero-worships Iggy in-series, and for good reason, because Iggy is super cool, especially in the eyes of an eight-year-old, and especially when Iggy has taken care to cultivate parts of his behaviors to be child-friendly. Part of growing up is seeing the flaws in your heroes, and Gazzy has to learn how to deal with it. End of the series Gazzy is much less closer to Iggy than beginning of the series Gazzy, and neither of them are really okay with that, but they learn to live with it, because that’s really all they can do.

Notes:

I’m keeping the mimickry! It plays a bit of a bigger role because that’s how Gazzy learned to talk. I’m debating whether or not he has his own voice or if he just borrows the flock’s as he sees fit. He also uses it to scream really loudly and occaisonally burst the eardrums of Erasers.

At one point he cosplays as Jessica Jones. No you don’t get any more context than this.

He has a horrible sense of fashion.

I’m changing his name eventually because it sucks. He’s either going to change it to Gannet, Garrison, or Ivy Mike temporarily, and permanently to Zephyr. (I never said I was going to make his name GOOD, because he’s eight, but it’s changing. You’re welcome.)

Angel (Birthname: No first name, surname “Falk”)

It’s just... a completely different character, at this point. I’ve changed so many things about her in an attempt to make her consistent and act like a six-year-old and work in the whole “telepath before she has a solid sense of identity”, so it’s a different character. Also, I’m tired of writing coherently or in paragraphs, so have some interesting facts.

She has epilepsy! Super severe epilepsy! I think she might also develop juvenile MS in the future because her brain has so many scars from being a fucking six-year-old telepath. There’s no way she could get out of that unscathed.

She has more memories of the school than Gazzy, but only because she keeps accidentally reading the minds of Max, Fang, and Iggy. On a related note, she interacts with Iggy as little as possible.

The mind reading means that she has a hard time developing as a normal child with a normal sense of identity or reality. She can’t tell how much people are individual people and how much they’re just extensions of her. Conversely, she can’t tell how much of herself is actually her instead of the thoughts/opinions/identities of someone else. It’s... kinda fucked? But also super not-her-fault. 

She’s albino because white wings. Also, because I thought it was cool. This also means that her vision sucks, though. Also she has the biggest straw sunhat and the most stylish sunglasses a six-year-old can have.

She’s responsible for Max shaving her hair off.

She has the highest swear count because I think it’s funny. She’s the only person allowed to say the fuck word in writing. Everyone else can only say ‘hell’ and the occasionally ‘damn’ but she can say whatever she wants for dramatic and comedic value.

She is NOT THE FUCKING VOICE, J*MES P*TTERSON.

Honorable Mentions

Jeb

I’m skipping Jeb because of how little I care about him. He’s a little bitch, next character.

Ari

STILL HASN’T BEEN REVEALED AS AN ERASER. I’ve been writing for 50,000 words and he’s over here saying ‘nope nope not yet, not dramatic enough’. He’s had speaking lines but has refused to make himself known to Max. I am so frustrated with this seven-year-old wolf-child that I’ve already considered how I would kill him, if I decide I want to kill yet another child in my writing.

So, my main thoughts for Ari is that he... really just drew the short end of the stick in every possible way. While Jeb didn’t sign him up for Eraser expirimentation, he didn’t do anything to stop it, and pretty much cut his losses when he realized this expiriment made a wreck of his ‘perfect, unflawed’ son, because Jeb doesn’t consider children of any species to actually be humans. So, Ari really hates his dad, which makes things complicated, because he also really loves his dad and really wants his approval. 

Which means that he also really hates Max, because she’s the child that always got Jeb’s time and attention, even when Ari was human. I think, on some level, he knows that trying to tear Max down to a less-favored level isn’t actually going to help his situation— infighting for the love of an abusive parent won’t make them any less abusive— but he’s also seven, and his development is already severely stunted due to becoming an Eraser, and he doesn’t see ‘leaving ITEX’ as an option like the Flock does. ITEX is his everything. It’s all he’s ever known, and they tell him he’s doing the right thing, and he wants them to love him. He wants his father to love him. He knows that if he ever questions ITEX, his father will never love him. So it must be his older sister that’s ruining his life and being a horrible child, and once Ari drags her back down to his level, Jeb will realize who the best child is and love him properly again.

Ari, on an even deeper level, does care for Max quite a bit, because she’s his older sister and he wants that to mean something in a way that ‘Jeb being his father’ obviously doesn’t. He wants what she made for herself, and he hates the Flock because she loves them and obviously doesn’t love him. 

Ari, if anything, is the product of neglect, and both loves and hates everyone who shows a chance of caring about him. And he’s seven, so he can’t notice these patterns, let alone break them.

So. Notes!

He doesn’t look like an adult. I thought that was gross and unnecessary. He’s seven, but he looks closer to thirteen or fourteen. Still young enough that he looks like every Eraser’s little brother, and the Erasers high-key treat him like it.

On a related note, he’s the only Eraser who can talk. The others don’t have the mental capacity or vocal structure to replicate human speech, but they can understand language (at about the level of a two or three year old) and are very good at nonverbal communication. This is why Ari managed to climb the ranks despite only having three years of “service” and also looking like a tween.

He doesn’t have an expiration date because that is SUCH a stupid plot point.

I’m giving him a chainsaw! I don’t know how, I don’t know when, but he deserves to have a chainsaw and GODDAMN I will give it to him.

Emergency and Gene

The OCs that I love and also killed pre-series. They don’t have any scenes, because they’re dead, but their deaths greatly effected Max, Fang, and Iggy, and they are very commonly referenced. Their voices are probably Max’s most common hallucination, to the point where she sometimes pretends they’re ghosts that she can talk to. They’re not ghosts. They’re dead.

Dr. Valencia Martinez

I’m actually keeping her pretty close to canon— loving, supportive, the type of person to take in a gsw victim with minimal questions. The difference is that rather than kindness fueling her actions, it’s incredible guilt. She has three goals surrounding Max: Give her as much support in any way she can, teach her as much about chicane culture as possible, and never let Max know that she’s her birth parent.

(She’s probably going to fail at AT LEAST two of those, but it’s the thought that counts.)

Notes:

She has a pet fox named Robin Hood that she rescued from an exotic animal salesman that got arrested.

I think I’m going to kill her. I don’t know yet, but it’s on the table.

Anne Walker

Y’know, the fake FBI Agent. Who’s not actually a fake in my story because I hated that plot point. She’s genuinely an FBI agent who put the Flock into pseudo-witness-protection in order to build a case against the Institute of Higher Living, accidentally got attached to her prime witnesses, raised them for a few months, realized a [SPOILER] and promptly had to let them get the hell out dodge.

I really like the Anne Walker that lives in my head. She is a VITAL part of the Flock’s development, their mental/emotional recovery, and adding to their safety net to fall back on. She serves them as their first adult role model, and is the first adult to show them what parent/child are supposed to look like from a healthy perspective. Though she has several fuck ups, she becomes someone that the Flock genuinely trusts and loves, which makes it all the more difficult for them to leave when [REDACTED].

Notes:

She and Max do butt heads initially, because Max is paranoid and also afraid of becoming uneeded. This ends up being incredibly important because Max needs to learn how to live and find meaning in life without being the designated Leader/Parent/Big Sister

Anne, at one point, sits the entire flock down to teach them about consent, which was something no one ever talked about with them before. She goes in talking specifically about consent in a romantic/sexual sense (because they’re fourteen and that’s something they need to know), but quickly turns into a full-fledged no, people are NOT allowed to do that to you, what the FUCK.

She’s responsible for giving the flock a laptop. It’s because Angel is online schooled (bc telepathy makes actually learning difficult) and was therefore provided with a computer.

Anne is also allowed to swear, but only when it’s funny.

Michael “Grey” Rivers

Aka Grey from the Sewers Aka GR3Y H47 Aka Mike from the Bronx Aka Gifted Child Syndrome Incarnate Aka Would-be-in-MIT-if-his-parents-weren’t-horrible. He’s my son, your honour.

Basically, his backstory boils down to him being a genius, getting into MIT at 14, his (horrible) parents wanting a perfect child who could “make it out” of the Bronx and represent his family/neighborhood/borough to the world. When he inevitably failed their expectations due to stress, a schizophrenic-spectrum disorder that completely alienated him from the rest of his support network, and refusing to take his psych meds because the side effects were horrible and they made it harder to think (and therefore pass his classes), they kicked him out. He fully intends to go back to MIT when he turns 18 and has control of his finances/scholarships/medication/therapy.

So that’s how the flock meets him. 

Mike ends up in a very prominent support role for the flock both in technological persuits (helping them track their parents, helping them get information from ITEX, trying to disable Max’s chip and failing multiple times until it becomes a matter of personal honour—), in helping the older members of the flock figure out how to deal with hallucinations/delusions (because he’s actually been to therapy, unlike them), and in being one of the only people who talks to them and helps them without any ulterior motive. He’s not trying to build a case against ITEX/The Institute of Higher Learning, he’s not double crossing them, he’s not plagued with guilt. He just genuinely wants to help them, and they genuinely want to help him, and that’s their first introduction to a healthy, non-codependent relationship.

My many disorganized notes on Michael Rivers:

He’s from specifically Morris Heights, Bronx, NYC.

He would say that his last name is actually Rivera, but his grandparents changed it to Rivers so it would sound more English, and his family has been in America for so long that he doesn’t know much about any Latino heritage he may or may not have. He identifies as African American, not Afro-Latino. He’s just bitter that his family felt the need to change their surname to have better opportunities in New York.

Nudge aggressively befriends him pretty much the moment she meets him, bullies him into teaching her how to code, and he very quickly adopts her as his pseudo-little-sister.

His delusions in the book seemed to involve government conspiracies, but as that’s the one delusion that is proved correct in the book, I’ve decided it would be best if his delusions and reality intersected a bit less if I don’t want to write him having a manic/paranoid episode in the second scene he has screen time. So his delusions are more based on “none of this is real”, “someone is recording everything I do and setting me up to fail” and “my ill-wishes on people can and will come true if I dwell on them too long.”. Government conspiracies are one of things he is skeptical about because he thinks most conspiracies are either “CIA admitted to this twenty years ago” or “antisemitism”.

He’s taking online free college classes that don’t actually give him any college credit, but they have good information and help him feel like he’s working towards something. He plans to double major in computer sciences and electrical engineering, minor in marine biology. He’s wanted to join NOAA since he was twelve and he is nothing if not stubborn.

There you go. These are my characters, now. I have custody.

#maximum ride on main #Maximum Ride rewrite