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lokiondisneyplus · 3 years

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'Loki' takes over: Tom Hiddleston on his new TV series and a decade in the MCU

Ten years after Hiddleston first chose chaos in Thor, Marvel’s fan favorite God of Mischief is going even bigger with his time-bending Disney+ show.

Tom Hiddleston is Loki, and he is burdened with glorious purpose: After playing Thor's puckish brother for over a decade in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, no one understands the mercurial Asgardian God of Mischief as well as the actor. He can teach an entire seminar on Loki if given the opportunity — which he actually did during pre-production on his forthcoming Disney+ show. In conversation, Hiddleston quotes lines from his MCU debut, 2011's Thor, almost verbatim, and will playfully correct you if you mistakenly refer to Asgard's Rainbow Bridge as the Bifrost, which is the portal that connects Loki and Thor's homeworld to the Nine Realms, including Midgard, a.k.a. Earth. "Well, the Bifrost technically is the energy that runs through the bridge," he says with a smile. "But nine points to Gryffindor!" And when he shows up to the photo shoot for this very digital cover, he hops on a call with our photo editor to pitch ways the concept could be even more Loki, like incorporating the flourish the trickster does whenever magically conjuring something. The lasting impression is that playing Loki isn't just a paycheck.

"Rather than ownership, it's a sense of responsibility I feel to give my best every time and do the best I can because I feel so grateful to be a part of what Marvel Studios has created," the 40-year-old Brit tells EW over Zoom a few days after the shoot and a week out from Thor's 10th anniversary. "I just want to make sure I've honored that responsibility with the best that I can give and the most care and thought and energy."

After appearing in three Thor movies and three Avengers, Hiddleston is bringing that passion to his first solo Marvel project, Loki, the House of Ideas' third Disney+ series following the sitcom pastiche WandaVision and the topical The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Led by head writer Michael Waldron (Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Heels), the six-episode drama sees Hiddleston's shapeshifting agent of chaos step out from behind his brother's shadow and into the spotlight for a timey-wimey, sci-fi adventure that aims to get to the bottom of who Loki really is. "I wanted to explore slightly more complex character questions," says Waldron. "It's not just good versus bad. Is anybody all good? Is anybody all bad? What makes a hero, a hero? A villain, a villain?"

Even though Loki — who loves sowing mayhem with his illusion magic and shapeshifting, all with a major chip on his shoulder — has never been one for introspection, the idea of building an entire show around him was a no-brainer for Marvel. When asked why Loki was one of the studio's first Disney+ shows, Marvel president Kevin Feige replies matter-of-factly, "More Hiddleston, more Loki." First introduced as Thor's (Chris Hemsworth) envious brother in Kenneth Branagh's Thor, Loki went full Big Bad in 2012's The Avengers. That film cemented the impish rogue as one of the shared universe's fan favorites, thanks to Hiddleston's ability to make him deliciously villainous yet charismatic and, most importantly, empathetic. The character's popularity is one of the reasons he's managed to avoid death many times.

"He's been around for thousands of years. He had all sorts of adventures," says Feige. "Wanting to fill in the blanks and see much more of Loki's story [was] the initial desire [for the series]."

The Loki we meet on the show is not the one who fought the Avengers in 2012 and evolved into an antihero in Thor: The Dark World and Thor: Ragnarok before meeting his demise at the hands of the mad titan Thanos (Josh Brolin) in 2018's Avengers: Infinity War. Instead, we'll be following a Loki from a branched timeline (a variant, if you will) after he stole the Tesseract following his thwarted New York invasion and escaped S.H.I.E.L.D. custody during the time heist featured in Avengers: Endgame. In other words, this Loki hasn't gone through any sort of redemption arc. He's still the charming yet petulant god who firmly believes he's destined to rule and has never gotten his due.

Premiering June 9, Loki begins with the Time Variance Authority — a bureaucratic organization tasked with safeguarding the proper flow of time — arresting the Loki Variant seen in Endgame because they want his help fixing all of the timeline problems he caused while on the run with the Tesseract. So there will be time travel, and a lot more of it than in Endgame. As Loki makes his way through his own procedural, he'll match wits with new characters including Owen Wilson's Agent Mobius, a brilliant TVA analyst, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw's Judge Renslayer. The question in early episodes is whether Loki will help them or take over.

"One of the things Kevin Feige led on was, 'I think we should find a way of exploring the parts of Loki that are independent of his relationship with Thor,' or see him in a duality or in relationship with others, which I thought was very exciting," says Hiddleston, who also serves as an executive producer on the show. "So the Odinson saga, that trilogy of films, still has its integrity, and we don't have to reopen it and retell it."

Yet, in order to understand where Loki is going, it's important to see where he came from.

Hiddleston can't believe how long he and Loki have been connected. "I've been playing this character for 11 years," he says. "Which is the first time I have said that sentence, I realize, and it [blows] my mind. I don't know what percentage that is exactly of my 40 years of being alive, but it's substantial."

His time as Loki actually goes a bit further back, to 2009 — a year after Robert Downey Jr. big banged the MCU into existence with Iron Man — when he auditioned for Thor. It's no secret that Hiddleston initially went in for the role of the titular God of Thunder, but Feige and director Kenneth Branagh thought his natural charm and flexibility as an actor made him better suited for the movie's damaged antagonist. "Tom gave you an impression that he could be ready for anything, performance-wise," says Branagh, who had previously worked with him on a West End revival of Checkov's Ivanov and the BBC series Wallander. "Tom has a wild imagination, so does Loki. He's got a mischievous sense of humor and he was ready to play. It felt like he had a star personality, but he was a team player."

Hiddleston fully immersed himself in the character. Outside of studying Loki's history in the Marvel Comics, he also researched how Loki and the Trickster God archetype appeared across mythology and different cultures. "He understood that he was already in something special [and] it was a special character in a special part of that early moment in the life of the Marvel universe where [he] also needed to step up in other ways," says Branagh, who was impressed by the emotional depth Hiddleston brought to the part, especially when it came to how isolated Loki felt in the Asgardian royal family.

There was a lot riding on that first Thor feature. For one, no one knew if audiences would immediately latch onto a Shakespearean superhero movie partially set on an alien planet populated by the Norse Gods of legend. Second, it was integral to Feige's plans for the shared universe. Loki was supposed to be the main villain in The Avengers, which would not only mirror how Earth's mightiest heroes joined forces in 1963's Avengers #1 but also give Thor a believable reason for teaming up with Iron Man, Captain America (Chris Evans), and the rest of the capes. Feige first clued Hiddleston into those larger plans when the actor was in L.A. before Thor started shooting.

"I was like, 'Excuse me?' Because he was already three, four steps ahead," says Hiddleston. "That took me a few minutes to process, because I didn't quite realize how it just suddenly had a scope. And being cast as Loki, I realized, was a very significant moment for me in my life, and was going to remain. The creative journey was going to be so exciting."

Hiddleston relished the opportunity to go full villain in Avengers, like in the scene where Loki ordered a crowd to kneel before him outside a German opera house: "It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation," says the Machiavellian god. "The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel."

"I just knew that in the structure of that film, I had to lean into his role as a pure antagonist," Hiddleston recalls. "What I always found curious and complex about the way Loki is written in Avengers, is that his status as an antagonist comes from the same well of not belonging and being marginalized and isolated in the first Thor film. Loki now knows he has no place in Asgard."

Loki did find a place within the audience's hearts, though. Feige was "all in" on Hiddleston as his Loki from the beginning, but even he couldn't predict how much fans would love him. Feige recalls the reaction at the 2013 San Diego Comic-Con: "Did we know that after he was the villain in two movies, he would be bringing thousands of people to their feet in Hall H, in costume, chanting his name? No, that was above and beyond the plan that we were hoping for and dreaming of." It was a dream Feige first got an inkling of a year earlier during the Avengers press tour when a Russian fan slipped past security, snuck into Mark Ruffalo's car, and asked the Hulk actor to give Hiddleston a piece of fan art she created. "That was one of the early signs there was much more happening with this quote-unquote villain."

Despite that popularity, the plan was to kill Loki off in 2013's Thor: The Dark World, but the studio reversed course after test audiences refused to believe he actually died fighting the Dark Elves. Alas, he couldn't out-illusion death forever. After returning in Taika Waititi's colorful and idiosyncratic Thor: Ragnarok, Hiddleston's character perished for real in the opening moments of Infinity War. In typical Loki fashion, before Thanos crushed his windpipe, he delivered a defiant speech that indicated he'd finally made peace with the anger he felt toward his family.

"It felt very, very final, and I thought, 'Okay, that's it. This is Loki's final bow and a conclusive end to the Odinson saga,'" says Hiddleston, who shot that well-earned death scene in 2017.

But, though he didn't know it yet, the actor's MCU story was far from over.

Credit: Charlie Gray for EW

When Hiddleston returned to film two scenes in Avengers: Endgame in 2017, he had no idea where Loki portaled off to after snatching the Tesseract. "Where'd he go? When does he go? How does he get there? These are all questions I remember asking on the day, and then not being given any answers," Hiddleston recalls. To be fair, it's likely the Powers That Be didn't necessarily have answers then. While Feige can't exactly recall when the writers' room for Endgame first devised Loki's escape sequence, he does know that setting up a future show wasn't the primary goal — because a Loki series wasn't on the horizon just yet.

"[That scene] was really more of a wrinkle so that one of the missions that the Avengers went on in Endgame could get screwed up and not go well, which is what required Cap and Tony to go further back in time to the '70s," says Feige. Soon after that, though, former Disney CEO Bob Iger approached Feige about producing content for the studio's forthcoming streaming service. "I think the notion that we had left this hanging loose end with Loki gave us the in for what a Loki series could be. So by the time [Endgame] came out, we did know where it was going."

As for Hiddleston, he didn't find out about the plans for a Loki show until spring 2018, a few weeks before Infinity War hit theaters. "I probably should not have been surprised, but I was," says the actor. "But only because Infinity War had felt so final."

Nevertheless, Hiddleston was excited about returning for his show. He was eager to explore Loki's powers, especially the shapeshifting, and what it meant that this disruptive figure still managed to find a seat beside the gods in mythology. "I love this idea [of] Loki's chaotic energy somehow being something we need. Even though, for all sorts of reasons, you don't know whether you can trust him. You don't know whether he's going to betray you. You don't why he's doing what he's doing," says Hiddleston. "If he's shapeshifting so often, does he even know who he is? And is he even interested in understanding who he is? Underneath all those masks, underneath the charm and the wit, which is kind of a defense anyway, does Loki have an authentic self? Is he introspective enough or brave enough to find out? I think all of those ideas are all in the series — ideas about identity, ideas about self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and the difficulty of it."

“The series will explore Loki's powers in a way they have not yet been explored, which is very, very exciting.”

The thing that truly sold Hiddleston on the show was Marvel's decision to include the Time Variance Authority, a move he describes as "the best idea that anybody had pertaining to the series." Feige and Loki executive producer Stephen Broussard had hoped to find a place for the TVA — an organization that debuted in 1986's Thor #372 and has appeared in She-Hulk and Fantastic Four stories — in the MCU for years, but the right opportunity never presented itself until Loki came along. "Putting Loki into his own procedural series became the eureka moment for the show," says Feige.

The TVA's perspective on time and reality also tied into the themes that Waldron, Loki's head writer, was hoping to explore. "Loki is a character that's always reckoning with his own identity, and the TVA, by virtue of what they do, is uniquely suited to hold up a mirror to Loki and make him really confront who he is and who he was supposed to be," says Waldron. Hiddleston adds: "[That] was very exciting because in the other films, there was always something about Loki that was very controlled. He seemed to know exactly what the cards in his hand were and how he was going to play them…. And Loki versus the TVA is Loki out of control immediately, and in an environment in which he's completely behind the pace, out of his comfort zone, destabilized, and acting out."

To truly dig into who Loki is, the creative team had to learn from the man who knows him best: Hiddleston. "I got him to do a thing called Loki School when we first started," says director Kate Herron. "I asked him to basically talk through his 10 years of the MCU — from costumes to stunts, to emotionally how he felt in each movie. It was fantastic."

Hiddleston got something out of the Loki school, too. Owen Wilson both attended the class and interviewed Hiddleston afterward so that he could better understand Loki, as his character Mobius is supposed to be an expert on him. During their conversation, Wilson pointedly asked Hiddleston what he loved about playing the character.

"And I said, 'I think it's because he has so much range,'" says Hiddleston. "I remember saying this to him: 'On the 88 keys on the piano, he can play the twinkly light keys at the top. He can keep it witty and light, and he's the God of Mischief, but he can also go down to the other side and play the heavy keys. And he can play some really profound chords down there, which are about grief and betrayal and loss and heartbreak and jealousy and pride.'" Hiddleston recalls Wilson being moved by the description: "He said, 'I think I might say that in the show.' And it was such a brilliant insight for me into how open Owen is as an artist and a performer.'"

Owen Wilson as Mobius and Tom Hiddleston as Loki in 'Loki.'| Credit: Chuck Zlotnick/Marvel Studios

Everyone involved is particularly excited for audiences to see Hiddleston and Wilson's on-screen chemistry. "Mobius is not unlike Owen Wilson in that he's sort of nonplussed by the MCU," says Feige. "[Loki] is used to getting a reaction out of people, whether it's his brother or his father, or the other Avengers. He likes to be very flamboyant and theatrical. Mobius doesn't give him the reaction he's looking for. That leads to a very unique relationship that Loki's not used to."

As for the rest of the series, we know that Loki will be jumping around time and reality, but the creative team isn't keen on revealing when and where. "Every episode, we tried to take inspiration from different things," says Waldron, citing Blade Runner's noir aesthetic as one example.

"Part of the fun of the multiverse and playing with time is seeing other versions of characters, and other versions of the titular character in particular," says Feige, who also declined to confirm if Loki ties into Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness and/or other upcoming projects.

Making Loki was especially meaningful to Hiddleston because they shot most of it during the pandemic, in late 2020. "It will remain one of the absolute most intense, most rewarding experiences of my life," he says. "It's a series about time, and the value of time, and what time is worth, and I suppose what the experience of being alive is worth. And I don't quite know yet, and maybe I don't have perspective on it, if all the thinking and the reflecting that we did during the lockdown ended up in the series. But in some way, it must have because everything we make is a snapshot of where we were in our lives at that time."

While it remains to be seen what the future holds for Loki beyond this initial season, Hiddleston isn't preparing to put the character to bed yet. "I'm open to everything," he says. "I have said goodbye to the character. I've said hello to the character. I said goodbye to the character [again]. I've learned not to make assumptions, I suppose. I'm just grateful that I'm still here, and there are still new roads to explore."

#Tom Hiddleston #Loki #Disney+#interview

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

Text

the guy at the rock show

she/they reader x Spencer Reid

request for @boba-king-iroh ♥︎

summary: Y/N lost their parents when they were 17, finding a new home and solace in Penelope Garcia and taking the Garcia name. They're the top forensic specialist in D.C, in a band and they drive a motorcycle... not to mention they are madly in love with the cute doctor who works with their sister.

warnings: fluff, mutual pining, getting together, love confessions, friends to lovers, idiots in love, PDA, secret relationships

word count: 5666

a/n: there will be a smutty part 2 eventually because I can't not do that

THE PLAYLIST THAT GOES WITH THEIR SETLIST IF YOU WANT TO LISTEN WHILE YOU READ

Read on Ao3 here!

Taking Garcia’s last name wasn’t something they had to think hard about, Penelope basically raised them; she was like a sister, a best friend and a mother, even a bit of a fairy godmother to Y/N.

They met when Y/N was 17, they were sitting at a support group for dead parents in D.C. Right beside the lovely, overly cheerful, always helpful, Penelope Garcia. At first, Y/N couldn’t stand her, wondering how a person like that could be running a group for mourning people, it made her sick.

It wasn’t until she heard Penelope’s story for the first time, knowing how similar it sounded to her own and how, actually, you can take your grief and turn it into something beautiful. After the meeting, they pulled Penelope aside and gave her a big hug and a thank you.

It was the start of a lovely friendship, one Y/N didn’t know they needed until they were smothered in all the love you could possibly imagine.

The age gap between them wasn’t too big, Penelope was 10 years older than them which meant she was always one step ahead of Y/N and full of advice. Be it fashion, boys, girls and everything in between. They bonded in a way that was unbreakable, they were each other's family.

Penelope even helped her get into med school before she eventually switched to forensic science. Taking on the FBI academy, unlike Penelope, and joining the bureau officially. Penelope was there for her every single step of the way, making her career possible. She loved her dearly and wanted Y/N to succeed more than anyone in the world.

Getting to introduce herself to people as Agent Y/N Garcia, not to be confused with technical analyst Garcia, was one of the best feelings in the world.

Not many people ever mistook them, however, for whatever Penelope was, Y/N was the exact opposite.

Y/N preferred all black everything, she didn’t enjoy partying or close contact or the in-your-face-ness of Penelope’s way of life, she loved her band and motorcycle and being alone. They were quote-unquote edgy, not just for effect, but because it was how they felt the most comfortable, it was who they were and they liked it that way.

They were possibly the best Forensic Specialist the FBI had, keeping her in DC for all the most important cases. Helping her avoid Penelope and the BAU team as much as possible. They were great people, she didn’t hate them at all, it was just a lot of energy that they didn’t have to give to 7 other people all day long.

Spencer was the only one she could tolerate. Rather, he was the one she wanted to spend the most time with, even more than Penelope. He understood Y/N in a way others didn’t.

He was also quiet, like them, he didn’t pick on them or call them mini Garcia, baby-baby girl, or infant as some of them started to call her more recently.

He called them Y/N, he talked to them about star trek whenever he was visiting Penny, and he respected their pronouns. Using both she and they interchangeably, when he spoke of them, unlike most people who only used she and her because it made more sense in their small brains.

However, she wasn’t the only one who got teased. Spencer did as well, almost more because he was around the BAU team constantly. She hated hearing them bully him, he didn’t even count it as bullying but it’s basically what it was sometimes.

They put him down, they didn’t clue him in on things, they called out his stims and didn’t let him finish his sentences, especially when it had to do with his hyper-fixations. He was the brightest light in the room and they just picked his brain till he wasn’t useful anymore, before trying to turn out the light. It made Y/N furious.

They got called Mr and misses genius when they were on a scene together, remembering the first time she ever had a case with the BAU which was also the first time she snapped at someone for being mean to Spencer.

Someone asked Spencer a serious question, to which he did his fucking job and answered. Giving as much detail as humanly possible, being the absolute genius he is and should be praised for, only to have Emily poke him in the cheek and say; “wow, he’s so life-like?”

“Well yeah, cause he’s a fucking human who deserves respect from the people who use his brain all day,” Y/N cursed under their breath from the crime scene, just loud enough for everyone to hear.

Leaving the sweetest man on earth to find them later and give them a hug. Thanking them for all that they do, and appreciating what he has to offer. That’s when she realized she liked him, more than just the guy who sometimes sleeps on her couch because he’s friends with her sister.

It was difficult being surrounded by men unlike Spencer, specifically the older men in her field who didn’t understand anything outside of money, guns, and violence. The worst part of the job being the politics in the background; the hierarchy and ass-kissing all because she worked in the nation's capital.

They were sure it was probably better in a smaller facility, a local police station where no one knew her and they could finally have some peace and quiet.

But she’d miss Penelope, and Spencer too for that matter.

At first, they’d hide in their room when Penelope brought him over for movie nights or when he crashed on the couch after bringing her home drunk from the bar. In the early days, she worried that he was going to be her new boyfriend, taking all of Penelope’s free time and leaving Y/N with nothing.

But then he started coming over all the time just to hang out, sitting on the couch with nothing to say, being the third wheel while Y/N and Penelope spent time together. For the last 7 years.

Over that time they had many conversations alone, she learned that he was really smart, he was a lot younger than most of the team because he blew through high school by the time he was 13, and he was genuinely the sweetest man in the whole entire world.

One time, Penelope was running late when Spencer showed up at the door with chips and candy, ready to watch his weekly movie with his friend. Only she wasn’t going to make it home in time, and Y/N didn’t want him to have to go back to his apartment all alone.

“You can come in and watch it with me if you wanted to?” She offered, smiling softly. “What was it you picked for tonight?”

“It was Penelope’s night to choose, so you can pick instead if you want?” Spencer offered right back, walking in like he owned the place.

He was more confident now than he was in the beginning, but that was probably because he was 23 and she was 18.

Back then he’d barely look at her and sometimes he’d shake when they made eye contact or when she got drunk and hugged him goodbye after a long night with Penelope. He was like that with Penny in the early days of their friendship too, apparently, so she didn’t feel too bad about it.

He warmed up eventually, making her wait 7 years for him to do something about the growing feelings they both shared.

“You like Marvel movies right?” She bit the inside of her lip as she waited for his answer. Watching him walk around the kitchen for a bowl that he could put his snacks in.

“Yeah they’re great, I haven’t watched past the second Thor, I think the next one is another Captain America?” he’s all smiles as he joins her on the couch, closer than normal, as close as he’d sit with Penelope, but then again she was a cuddler and Y/N wasn’t.

Sometimes Y/N would come out of her room to find Spencer’s head on Penelope’s lap, resting on a pillow as she ran her fingers through his hair to soothe his perfect mind after a long day. A few times she’s walked in on him crying or even sound asleep in her arms. They had a friendship Y/N admired, they were each other's person.

They comforted each other in the exact way they needed it; Penelope giving him the physical touch he craved and he would often compliment her. He was always telling her she was the best and buying her gifts to show his appreciation, calling her the most beautiful and smartest person he knew. He knew that she needed to hear it, needed the reassurance that she was still a good person and he made her believe it.

It made Y/N love him more seeing how much he cared for her sister.

“The winter soldier is the best!” She gushed, sitting close so they could share the chips as she waited for the movie to load up.

He was very quiet when he watched movies, smiling and laughing at the right parts but typically he paid so much attention it was like he was a statue. Y/N spent more time glancing at him than the actual movie.

“Is there something on my face?” Spencer asked, nervous when he noticed her glance at him for the 100th time that night.

“Oh, no you don’t,” she panicked lightly, swallowing quickly before looking away.

“What?”

“I don’t know, I just think you’re fascinating,” she whispered because then she didn’t really say it, and it didn’t really count.

“Oh,” he smiled softly, leaving it at that and forcing his attention back on the movie.

After a while, Spencer started to get even closer. He put the bowl on the coffee table and sat back almost on top of her, reaching an arm behind the couch so that Y/N was right against his side. He had done it with Penelope before, confident in this little living room, almost forgetting it was Y/N beside him.

Y/N rested her hand on his knee, rubbing her thumb over his jeans in a soft little circle as she pretended to watch the movie. More concerned with Spencer’s breathing and the feeling of his hand inching towards their shoulder than anything else.

Then they heard keys at the front door. Pulling away from each other quickly to curl up on opposite sides of the couch and pretend they weren’t just cuddling.

“Hey, you still came!” Penelope cheered, a little drunk from whatever she was doing before.

“I’d never miss a night with the Garcia’s,” Spencer smiled at her, looking calm and collected as ever while Y/N turned bright pink.

“Oh, I love Bucky! Oh my god let me go change and I’ll come watch too!”

That was just the first time they ended up cuddling, certainly not the last.

—

It wasn’t often that Penelope was too busy to spend time with Y/N, rather the contrary. Sometimes Y/N had to beg her to leave her be at certain events. Like when their band was playing at any of the local bars and Penny started inviting everyone she knew to come and watch her sister play.

It was embarrassing, to say the least, but Y/N loved her support.

When Y/N peaked her head out to see the crowd before a show, normally Penelope was sitting in the front with a drink and at least 4 friends, cheering and chanting their name, ready to rock out to their covers.

Tonight she didn’t see Penelope at all, she knew she wouldn’t, Penelope was in London visiting Emily with Derek for the second time in the past year, leaving no one to come to the monthly show Y/N’s band put on, or so she thought.

Spencer came all by himself.

He was sitting in the front, at a table with a bowl of pretzels and a ginger ale, not interested in the drinking or the socializing, just there to support Y/N. It made her feel giddy, like a schoolchild seeing their crush at recess.

It was so nice of him that it gave her butterflies, and normally that didn’t happen. They could go on and play a show in front of ten thousand people and feel nothing, but the second Spencer Reid was there to cheer them on, they were a mess.

“What song are we doing first again?” Y/N asked Evie, their lead singer and best friend outside of work.

“Who are they?”

Y/N was taken aback, “What?”

“You’ve never been nervous, who came to see you?” Evie clarified her question.

“No one, for fuck sake, I thought we left all the profilers at home tonight?” she sighed, shaking the nerves out of their body as they jumped up and down lightly.

They paced back and forth for a few minutes to wear down the nerves but only managing to make herself sweat to death and discard the leather jacket she always wore on stage. She walked in a circle aimlessly, remembering the setlist in their mind and how the spotlights typically made it so they couldn’t see the crowd anyway so it’s not like she could fuck up by making eye contact with him.

And it’s not like it was the first time he had seen her play, Spencer comes every month with Penelope, he liked a lot of the music they covered from when he was an emo teen in university. They’ve bonded over it before sharing albums and records back and forth, but she was still scared shitless at the prospect of him caring about her enough to come alone.

Especially when he hated being in situations like this in the first place.

It was their turn to go on, the manager of the bar gathering them and telling them to go on and so Y/N started walking towards the stage door, only to be pulled back harshly by Evie’s cold hands.

“Don’t forget your sticks, god who do you wanna fuck so bad it makes you this stupid?” She placed the drumsticks in Y/N’s hands, “get it together.”

“Sorry, it’s the guy in the sweater vest, front row,” they whispered in response, putting their head down and heading to the stage before she could tease them about it.

“The Forensic Lyricists are here once again folks!” The Manager introduced them to the crown, “get ready for them to dig up some classics!” Always the same dumb joke before every show.

Opening with crushcrushcrush by Paramore, thank god she remembered, it was an easy song to play as they warmed up and pushed the nerves away. They could play it in their sleep, with their eyes closed, and so that's what they did.

Eyes closed, mouthing the words as the adrenaline of the night took over the anxiety and made them go insane, like most nights. They didn’t need drinks or drugs to feel hyped at most shows, all she needed was a smile from penny and a good luck text from Spencer.

Playing by memory until she felt more confident and then getting into it. “They taped over your mouth, Scribbled out the truth with their lies, your little spies…”

“Crush, crush, crush, crush crush two, three, four!!” Y/N sung backup for each chorus, finally getting into it.

“Nothing compares to, a quiet evening alone! Just the one, two! of us who's counting on! That never happens, I guess I'm dreaming again.”

They tried their hardest to push the images of that night on the couch with Spencer out of their mind as they sang along, trying to harmonize and cover the backup for Evie as best as she could.

“Let’s be more than this now!”

She always took the bridge, as the drummer and the most passionate one, it only made sense. Y/N always got the crowd on their feet, roaring along as they jumped to the beat.

“Rock and roll, baby, Don't you know that we're all alone now? I need something to sing about. Rock and roll, hey! Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now? I need something to sing about! Rock and roll, hey! Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now? Give me something to sing about!”

“Nothing compares to, a quiet evening alone! Just the one, two! of us who's counting on! That never happens, I guess I'm dreaming again, let’s be more than, noOoo!”

She had a crush on Spencer fucking Reid and one now noticed as they tried their hardest to focus on the words when all that came to mind right now was his body heat and how good he smelled and how nice it was that he came to support them.

“Nothing compares to, a quiet evening alone! Just the one, two! of us who's counting on! That never happens, I guess I'm dreaming again, Let’s be more than this, more than thiiiiiis, oooooooh, mmmmmmhmmm,” she sang the ending of the song along with Evie, their harmony sounding more perfect than any performance before.

Critics always said the performance is better when you mean the words you’re singing. With that, they accepted their crush on Doctor Spencer Reid after 7 long years of knowing him. They pushed through nerves so that they could go and see him after and do something about it, now that Penelope wasn’t home to tease her for it.

Leading right into Dear Maria, Count Me In. Their bass player, Kat taking the lead for her favourite song. Being an all ‘girl’ punk band was her idea, and now they all enjoyed taking turns singing their favourite songs in front of mostly strangers, once a month.

Every single song made her think of Spencer in some way as she remembered the rest of the set, it had 5 songs in total and each one included at least one reference to something she knew about Spencer.

It was hard to not think about him while he stood at the edge of the stage with everyone and bopped his head along to the beat, a smile growing on his face as he also noticed the little references to them in the songs.

The Rock Show by Blink182 was going to hit a little too close to home as she sang the words all but to him, making eye contact with him as he moved to the best spot to see them play, much like Penelope would do every time.

She didn’t realize how much this song actually represented her life before tonight, starting to sing her song alone while Spencer watched. Deciding on the spot to dedicate it to him in the most fucking obvious way possible, taking her chances because he must have come for a reason.

“Hanging out behind the club on the weekends. Acting stupid, getting drunk with my best friends, I couldn't wait for the summer and the Warped Tour, I remember that it's the first time that I saw him there!”

Spencer was smiling then, noticing the lyric change as they made eye contact, nodding along as he watched. Genuinely enjoying himself and the show, it was lovely to see. She couldn’t help but smile against the mic as she sang and played. Wondering how his face will change with the next verse she watched him from the corner of her eye.

Her bandmates turning to see her as they played their guitars, nodding in agreement at the lyric change, they knew what she was up to. It wasn’t the first time they used the stage to bring someone home with them.

“He's getting kicked out of school cause he's failing. I’m kinda nervous, cause I’m sure all his friends hate me! He’s the one, he'll always be there, I took his hand and I’ll make it I swear,

“Because I fell in love with the guy at the rock show! He said what? and I told him that I didn't know. He's so cool, gonna sneak in through his window. Everything's better when he's around. Can’t wait until my parent goes out of town, I fell in love with the guy at the rock show!”

Spencer’s smile was priceless, it made them even more confident to sing all the words, wanting him with zero shame, it’s not like anyone who knew him would know about this.

“When we said we were gonna move to Vegas I remember the look your mother gave us 17 without a purpose or direction We don't owe anyone a fuckin’ explanation”

“Black and white picture of him on my wall, I waited for his call, he always kept me waiting, and if I ever got another chance I'd still ask him to dance, because he kept me waiting!”

“I fell in love with the guy at the rock show! He said what? and I told him that I didn't know. He's so cool, gonna sneak in through his window. Everything's better when he's around. Can’t wait until my parent goes out of town,”

“I fell in love with the guy at the rock show!” She had never been this passionate while playing this song in all the years they had played it together.

Her bandmates taking the lead singing, “with the guy at the rock show!”

“I’ll never forget you,” she sang in the middle of their chants, “I’ll never forget you, I’ll never forget you, I’ll never forget tonight, I’ll never forget tonight…”

She shot a wink at him before turning back in her seat to face the drum set the best way. The last two songs were Evie’s and Kat’s, she covered the backup vocals, making the occasional glance towards Spence as she thought of him.

Counting down the minutes till she could go see him.

Come a little closer by cage the elephant, an obvious title with lyrics that would clearly bring every memory of brushed hands against lower backs as they slipped past each other in crowded rooms, lingering as long as possible before they were gone again. Goodnight hugs when Penelope was already asleep and he could hold her a big longer and tighter, resting his head on her shoulder while she rubbed his back and breathed him in. And that night on the couch, not to mention all the mornings she walked in on him sleeping peacefully, brushing the hair out of his face, softly, in the hopes he didn’t wake up.

“Come a little closer, then you'll see, Come on, come on, come on, Things aren't always what they seem to be… Do you understand the things you been seein' Come on, come on, come on! Do you understand the things that you've been dreaming… Come a little closer, then you'll see! Come a little closer, then you'll see!”

And even when he did she had a coffee ready for him when he sat up and smiled, giving them a few hours alone before Penelope would wake up. Talking all morning about star trek and dr. Who, smacking his knee as he made jokes that genuinely made them laugh while trying to keep her voice down so they didn’t wake Penelope.

Not many people made her feel like that in her life.

“Come a little closer, then you'll see! Come a little closer, then you'll see!” Staring at him, enticing him to do it the next time they had the chance.

The intro to I’d Do Anything by simple plan was one of her favourites to play, smiling wide as she began to drum as her best friends sang the words.

Waiting for the chorus to sing the words at Spencer, really sending the message, he wasn’t dumb, not in the slightest, he would get it. He had to, she had already been so obvious there was no turning back now.

“This could be the one last chance to make you understand,”

Her arms were starting to hurt as she played along with the most energy she has had in years, playing like a teenager whose parents just died and she needed to hit something, once again. It was freeing, playing with what she could only imagine was love in her chest instead of anger. It’s how she was supposed to play.

"I’d do anything Just to hold you in my arms To try to make you laugh Cuz somehow I can’t put you in the past I’d do anything Just to fall asleep with you Will you remember me? Cuz I know I won’t forget you,"

Focusing on the drumming and ignoring the lyrics as her bandmates covered the lyrics, letting her go hog fucking wild on the drum set, almost kicking the chair out from under herself as they kept going. Joining for the chorus again before beating the shit out of her drum set.

I close my eyes And all I see is you I close my eyes I try to sleep I can't forget you Na na na And I'd do anything for you Na na na Naaaaaaa

“I’d do anything!” She closed her eyes as she pushes the words past her vocal cords, again and again, passionately playing the drums as her hair flew all over the place, worried she might break the sticks as she played.

“Cause I know I won't forget yoooou!” She plays the end of the song, snapping the left drumstick in half before throwing the right one into the crowd, right into Spencer’s hand, sending him a wink before saying goodbye to the crowd.

Sweaty as hell from playing the drums, they brushed their long black hair back behind their ears and in a low ponytail so it would fit under her motorcycle helmet on the way home. Putting their leather jacket back on and heading into the main bar to find Spencer.

“Hey,” he smiled as she walked towards him, the drumstick now resting in his pocket as he approached her.

“I can’t believe you came here all by yourself?” Y/N laughed slightly before pulling him into a thank-you hug.

“I wouldn’t miss it, I’ve been coming for a year now, it’s always a great time,” his smile was perfect, his teeth were so white and straight and she wondered how they’d feel against her neck.

“It’s been that long?” She pretended that she didn’t notice, biting their lip as he ran the calculations in his mind.

He nodded with a soft, pressed-lipped smile, the Spencer classic. “Yep, it’s been exactly 14 months straight now.”

“I know you don’t like bars and loud noises and people you don’t know, or germs which makes this like a nightmare of yours I guess because of the close proximity of people and the germs being spread as everyone screams in a crowd,” she ranted before he was pulling her into another hug, “so this means a lot to me,” she finished her thought beside his ear for only him to hear.

“Anytime,” he whispered as he held her, his arm on her back and chin resting on her shoulder.

“Did you need a ride home?” She offered, thinking about how nice it would be for him to wrap his arms around their body as he sat behind her on Patsy, her motorcycle.

“Yeah, unless you wanted to go to your place and watch another movie? I wouldn’t want to keep you waiting,” he spoke just loud enough to be heard over the music.

“Yeah, I’d love that, it’s been lonely while Penny’s gone,” a smile erupting on her face as she got the reference, “come on then.”

She took his hand in hers, interlocking their fingers and dragging him backstage towards her locker. She had a space to keep her things for practice and other shows she did during the week, keeping an extra helmet and jacket in the locker for nights like this, however, normally it was a cute stranger. Not the man she’s been crushing on since she was a teenager.

“Oh, you brought Patsy,” Spencer’s face went white.

“Did you not want to ride her? Come on, everyone wants to ride her at least once,” Y/N teased him as she put the helmet in his free hand.

Her bandmates staring at her with proud smiles as she took the guy from the rock show home; the one in the sweater vest from the front, the one who was the most into the whole show, they both gave Y/N a wave and a smile as they slipped out the backstage door.

They walked out to the parking lot, still hand in hand with their helmets in the other. Stopping at her dark purple Suzuki GS650 GT, it was her most prized possession because it used to belong to her parents.

She put her hair in the right spot before putting the helmet on, sitting down and starting the engine, revving it for everyone in the lot to see as Spencer put his helmet on and threw a leg over the seat, nervous as ever.

He fit behind her perfectly, just enough room on the seat for his chest to press against her back as he placed his hands gingerly on her hips. It made her laugh.

“You’re going to want to hold on better than that pretty boy,” she teased him before revving the engine once more, kicking the kickstand up and speeding out of the parking lot.

Spencer gripped her tightly as she took off down the street, taking the longest route possible to her home. She didn’t hit a single red light for at least 5 blocks, zooming through traffic as Spencer squeezed the life out of her.

He felt amazing, his hands were so big as he fully wrapped around her, reaching around completely so his right hand was on her left hip and vice versa. He was so close she could feel his heartbeat against her back.

He was nervous, he flinched every time she turned and held on even tighter somehow.

So she did another lap of the block, around the park’s bend so she could lean the bike as far as possible as Spencer’s fingers dug into her hips fiercely. Breathing deep enough that she could hear him over the engine, but he wanted her to keep going. Not ready to let go of her yet, this is the closest they had ever been to each other.

When she finally pulled into the parking lot of their apartment complex, they bumped over the curb and his hand grazed Y/N’s boob, he pulled back so fast it was barely there, she just shook her head and laughed. Parking the bike and putting the kickstand back down.

Spencer let out a sigh, relaxing against her as he rested his chin on her shoulder again.

“Have fun?”

“Surprisingly, yes,” he laughed, his voice deep and dry from breathing with his mouth open, it was cute.

He got off first when his legs were finally able to work again, still vibrating from the rev of the engine he walked like Ariel when she got her legs. It was priceless, no one has reacted like that after getting a ride from them, not even Penelope.

She took her helmet off while still on the bike, shaking her hair out of the ponytail as provocatively as possible before getting off. Spencer’s jaw fell open once more as he watched, breathlessly, just as she expected.

Either he liked them before and never told them, or he was going to start now.

Either way, it excited Y/N to their core, taking his hand once more and leading him inside, this time they could be as close as they wanted to and no one was going to walk in on it. She stopped at her locked apartment door, looking at Spencer as softly as possible so he’d know her feelings were real.

“I know this will cause the teasing we already get to skyrocket, so if you wanted to keep it between us, I fully understand,” she whispered.

“Is that what you want?”

He was so sweet it made her heartache, never before had anyone made her feel like this; like she wasn’t in control of her body or mind, like an override in the system her brain and heart chose Spencer and there was no stopping them.

“I just told a whole bar of people that I’m in love with the guy at the rock show before taking you home in front of everyone,” she laughed, “I don’t care if people know, I just hate when they tease us, they belittle everything we do like we’re 17 forever, it’s not fun for me.”

“I hate it too,” he pressed his lips together awkwardly once more, “I’d like to keep you to myself for a while.”

She cupped his face in her hands and pulled in, pressing her lips against his as they both tried to repress their tightlipped smiles. Finally, finally kissing after all those years staring at each other's lips while they explained something, passionately as ever with the most attentive ears.

“Exactly, me too,” she smiled wider as she pulled back from him, unlocking the front door and pulling him inside for that movie he mentioned.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 (dm me if you want me to remove you)

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine

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new-sandrafilter · 3 years

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How Timothée Chalamet Channeled The Blockbuster Pressure of Leading Denis Villeneuve’s ‘Dune’ Back Into His Role – Venice Q&A

DEADLINE: In a few days Dune will premiere at the Venice Film Festival. You first met Denis Villeneuve about the role in May 2018 and started shooting in the early half of 2019. It was always going to be a long journey, but the pandemic stretched it even further. How does it feel to have finally arrived at this moment?

TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET: You know, I like to think that with every film I’ve done, whether it’s Call Me by Your Name or Beautiful Boy, The King, or Little Women, the character you play is almost a piece of your flesh. And that’s always true, but simply from the perspective of how long the shoot for Dune was, and also the arc that Paul Atreides is on, as well as the huge love and almost biblical connection that so many people have for the book and the original film, it really felt… tectonic, if that’s the right word for it. Just getting to this finish line feels like: phew.

And independent of what the film is now, and what it has become, the experience of making it was I was put in such a safe environment, which you can never take for granted as a human, as an actor, but especially when you’re just starting your career, and when this is the first film of this size you’ve ever done.

To get to work with Denis on it, to get to work with someone of his caliber, let alone on a book that he considers the book of his youth and one of the things he has connected to the most… When he would have it in his hands on set, his body language would become that of a fan; of a kid who had fallen in love with the book at home in Montreal. And when all the kids around him were wearing hockey jerseys with their favorite players’ names on the back, this was a kid wearing a jersey that said ‘Spielberg’ on the back.

For it all to come together, especially with the added challenge of the pandemic, it has all combined to make this moment feel especially spicy [laughs].

DEADLINE: The entire ensemble will show up in Venice.

CHALAMET: Right. And I just can’t believe it; Jason Momoa has the number one film on Netflix right now with Sweet Girl, which I just watched. And since we shot, Zendaya has had all this success with Euphoria and Malcolm & Marie. Just to be part of this cast, period, let alone as one of the title characters, it’s really the shit you dream of.

And let me not forget, too—and I know I’ve told you this before—that The Dark Knight was the movie that made me want to act. That movie had a score by Hans Zimmer, and he has done the score for Dune. And it’s almost not what you’d think. It’s totally appropriate and excellent for the movie, but he has somehow managed to do something subversive, in my opinion. It’s a pinch-me moment all over.

DEADLINE: So, take me back to the start. Is it true you had a Google alert set up to track the latest news on this project before you were ever cast?

CHALAMET: Yeah, it’s true [laughs]. Not right away—Legendary had the rights and was developing it—but as soon as Denis got involved, I set up a Google alert and that’s when I got the book.

In total honesty, I think my understanding of Dune at that point was from a graphic novel I’d seen at Midtown Comics when I was shopping for Yu-Gi-Oh! cards when I was about 10. The year you and I first met, when I was there at Deadline Contenders with Call Me by Your Name, that would have been 2017 or early 2018, and Denis was there with Blade Runner. I remember I was trying to put myself in front of him as much as possible and set up a meeting with him. We had a night at the BAFTA where one of my good friends, Stéphane Bak—who’s also an actor—saw Denis across the room and was like, “Hey buddy, he’s right over there.” So, we went over to talk to him. I kept trying to put myself in front of him, but I didn’t really get a sense of the possibility [of working with him].

I was about halfway through the book when I got the call that he was going to be the president of the jury at the Cannes Film Festival, and I was in London prepping The King. He asked me if I could come out there, so I quickly busted through the second half of the book as best I could. So, like, the first half of my copy is properly annotated and full of my thoughts, and then the second half I just raced through. And then I had that meeting with him, and it was such a joy.

I’m struggling with this even now, as I’m working with Paul King [on Wonka], because he’s another guy I have huge respect and admiration for, and it’s hard to feel on a level. Not that you ever are, because as an actor you’re a cog in the machine, and you’ve got to be humble to the vision of the director. But with Denis, he was pacing around the room, throwing ideas around, in some fancy suite in Cannes, and all I could think was that a year before I was just sat on a stoop on 9th Street in the East Village or something.

DEADLINE: Was that your first time in Cannes?

CHALAMET: Yeah. Well, bizarrely, my sister would do dance camps growing up. Ballet intensive programs in a town called Mougins, which is nearby Cannes, so I spent a lot of time there growing up, but never during the festival, and not on the Riviera. To get to be there for the festival was just nuts. I went to see the Romain Gavras movie, I think, and it was just a huge joy.

I got attached [to the role in Dune] a couple of months after that, and it was nerve-wracking from the announcement, because like I said before, the fans of the book, and the fans of David Lynch version, the computer game, and everything, there’s so much love and strength of feeling. And so much of our pop culture and films and books have been derived from Dune, and all the philosophy the book. I’ve been shocked to learn how many people have a next-level connection to the book. I compare it to how our generation grew up with Harry Potter, and that one makes sense to me. But it’s cool to see with Dune also, when you actually sit down and read it… It’s not that it’s a quote-unquote “hard read” or anything, but it’s not made to be consumed easily, I think that’s fair to say.

So, I was grateful to be working on something of this size not only with Denis Villeneuve leading it, who between Polytechnique, Incendies and Prisoners had nailed the smaller indie film across languages, and then had nailed Arrival and Blade Runner, but who, in his own words, he didn’t feel he’d made his greatest film yet. But also, to be working with this cast. I don’t know if there’s some nightmare version of a film where a young lead is not supported by the rest of his cast, where every one of them had been the leads in their own huge projects. But on this, everyone was there to support, and I think it’s because we all wanted to be foot soldiers for Denis, and I think we understood the potential, based on the script by Eric Roth, Jon Spaihts and Denis, that this could be something really special.

DEADLINE: I don’t have a connection to Dune; this movie is really my first experience of the story. What strikes me is this is clearly an enormous universe—a broad canvas being painted with various families and factions and politics and mythos—but that ultimately it comes down to very elemental, human themes, and we feel them through this character you play, Paul Atreides. Did those themes help ground the experience for you?

CHALAMET: Yes, and I would give the credit entirely to Denis. He would constantly say on set that he had some opposing drumbeat or something. In my diminished intellectual standing, I didn’t understand it, but it was like some vision for the movie based on how biblical the book is that tries to tackle so much that it doesn’t tackle anything. I think he felt the need to be close to a character in it, and Paul is that guy in the book. He’s a character that is still in formation, like a lump of clay, which makes him a great figure for the audience to mirror off.

It speaks, I think, to Denis’ premonition and his directing ability that there were times when we’d move on from a shot or move on from a scene, and I swear, literally, we’d go back because Denis wanted to get something over my shoulder, or push in on my reaction, just to make sure [it stayed on Paul].

And again, it’s something where I’m pinching myself. I had the best time on Interstellar, and that was one of my favorite films I’ve ever worked on, but it was very much something where I was aware of when I had the opportunity to do real acting. And on a movie like Dune, again, one could think it would get lost in the scale and scope. But I felt every day like my plate was full.

DEADLINE: One of those themes is fear, and Paul must overcome his to become the person he needs to be. When you are number one on the call sheet on a project of this scale, and the cast list reads like an address book of Hollywood in the 21st century, and Legendary has injected hundreds of millions of dollars into this production, and it’s all falling on your shoulders, I have to imagine fear is a theme you can readily relate to.

CHALAMET: Oh yeah, and they can bleed into each other for sure—not to diminish the other work that goes in. It’s great when your life experience can inform the role. That’s not at all to say I’m on some crusade in the universe or anything, but definitely… And I had that same good fortune with The King I think. My life is not nearly as significant or as exciting as Paul or Prince Hal, but we all share an unwitting needle in the haystack feeling. On The King that feeling was because I was so new to having a career. On Dune it’s because of, as you say, just feeling the pressure of the hugeness of the project in all those different ways. Those things can absolutely inform each other.

And then there are the moments of glee that come, too, like seeing Jason Momoa running at you at a hundred miles an hour, or just getting to shoot the shit with Josh Brolin, or getting to do a scene with Oscar Isaac. I felt so supported, whether it was Rebecca Fergusson or Charlotte Rampling. When Zendaya came, it was a total breath of fresh air, and she’s one of my favorite parts of the movie. I just got really lucky, and I can’t wait to see them all in Venice.

Denis split the book in half, and the hope is a second movie will get a greenlight. That’d expand Zendaya’s role in the story.

CHALAMET: Definitely, Chani will play a huge role in the next film. I don’t know if there’s a script yet, but just based on the book, along with Lady Jessica [Rebecca Fergusson], they have a lot to do together, let’s put it like that. And Zendaya was incredible in this movie; the moment she pulls the mask down, it felt properly showstopping and powerful. I was hiding behind the camera, counting my lucky starts, because I was there in month two of the shoot and here was a total powerhouse just coming in for the first time.

And as I said before, this was before I’d seen Euphoria and Malcolm & Marie. She’s doing such incredible work and is just trailblazing her own path, and she’s so, so cool. She also happens to be in the most-watched trailer of the moment, too, for Spider-Man: No Way Home. I cannot wait for that movie, and I was there, by the way, with everybody else, clicking through the trailer frame by frame looking for clues [laughs].

#timmy #timothee chalamet #dune movie #dune 2021 #denis villeneuve

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thesaltofcarthage · 3 years

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Loki takes over: Tom Hiddleston on his new TV series and a decade in the MCU

from Entertainment Weekly

Ten years after Hiddleston first chose chaos in Thor, Marvel’s fan favorite God of Mischief is going even bigger with his time-bending Disney+ show.

By Chancellor Agard May 20, 2021

"He's been around for thousands of years. He had all sorts of adventures," says Feige. "Wanting to fill in the blanks and see much more of Loki's story [was] the initial desire [for the series]."

Yet, in order to understand where Loki is going, it's important to see where he came from.

"It felt very, very final, and I thought, 'Okay, that's it. This is Loki's final bow and a conclusive end to the Odinson saga,'" says Hiddleston, who shot that well-earned death scene in 2017.

But, though he didn't know it yet, the actor's MCU story was far from over.

“The series will explore Loki's powers in a way they have not yet been explored, which is very, very exciting.”

Additional reporting by Jessica Derschowitz

#loki #loki series #tom hiddleston #entertainment weekly

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knives-out20 · 3 years

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The Impact Of The Intergalactic - David Bowie Opinion Essay - by Beck S.

This is an essay I wrote about the span of David Bowie's career. I wrote it for a summer school course I took last year (August 2021) for a course called History of Rock & Roll.

My teacher gave nice feedback after he marked it, talking about how it was an "Excellent paper. It charts Bowie's progress throughout his career well, and includes significant detail. I could really feel the passion you have about him throughout. In fact, there is *too much* detail! The paper was supposed to be 3 pages max, double-spaced. Still, this is a good problem to have; better too much than too little."

So...enjoy!!

From his early works like Hunky Dory, to Black Tie White Noise in the 1990’s and stretching over to Blackstar as his final album, David Bowie has rarely had a bad album or song- in my opinion. His career has had ups and downs, his musical creations ranging in the way he would pitch his voice and what instruments he would use, the people he would produce with, and the wild things he would say. Charting David Bowie’s development over time is in fact an interesting journey.

Early on in his dreamy career, Bowie would have done nearly anything- or in fact, anyone- to grow in the music world. Hopping from band to band (like The Velvet Underground), producer to producer, doing whatever he could do to get ‘in’ in the industry. His early albums weren’t taken very highly in their times- especially with the ‘man-dress’ he wore on the British release of his The Man Who Sold The World album. Although, this dress was only the start of the androgynous appearance he would soon be known for, over the course of his 5-decade-spanning career.

The 1970’s were strange, to say the least. He married Angela Bowie at the start of the decade, then welcomed their son Duncan Zowie Haywood Jones a year later. Bowie went on to be hopped up on cocaine. David donned the look of one of his famous personas, The Thin White Duke. The same persona with slicked-back ginger hair, a white button-up under a black waistcoat and paired with black dress pants. The same Duke who called Adolf Hitler one of the first ‘rock stars’ and gave off a lot of faschist energy. He said many statements he’d later apologize for and grow as a better man from, which is good- it’s better than standing by then, or even backing himself up and supporting them. David Bowie called that period the darkest days of his life, and blamed the crazy statements on his horrid addiction and deteriorating mental state. The late 1970’s were more favorable, seeing as it gave the world what was dubbed the Berlin Trilogy alongside Brian Eno and David’s personal friend, Iggy Pop. Made up of three of his albums: Low and Heroes (both in 1977) and Lodger (1978). He moved from Los Angeles to Switzerland, then to Berlin as a further decision to escape his addiction (the reason he moved away from LA in the first place). It was in Berlin, of course, where he wrote his famous song Heroes, about two lovers, one from East Berlin and one from West.

Speaking of Berlin, David Bowie performed near the west of the Berlin Wall in 1987; he played so loud that crowds gathered on the east to listen. At this time, Bowie had no idea he would be the beginning of the city’s soon-coming unifying. After his death in 2016, the German government thanked him for bringing the wall down and unifying a divided Germany.

Music isn’t all he is known for, though it is a majority. He also starred in movies from time to time. Being the titular man in The Man Who Fell To Earth in 1976, Jareth the moody goblin king in Jim Henson’s 1986 Labyrinth film (what is most likely his most famous role), Monte the barman in the 1991 movie The Linguini Incident, cameoing as himself in Zoolander (2001), Nikola Tesla in the 2006 movie The Prestige, and even Lord Royal Highness in Spongebob Squarepants’ Atlantis Squarepantis in 2007, among a few others. David Bowie dabbled in the art of acting, and was not that bad at it. He was good enough to gain a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, too. Sometimes it bends my mind that my first introduction to my all-time favourite musician was in a Spongebob Squarepants movie, back before I knew who he was, but David Bowie was never one to shy away from foreshadowing. At least one song from many of his albums would hint at the direction he’d go in for his next release. For example, his track Queen Bitch on Hunky Dory foreshadowed his soon-coming Ziggy Stardust. And the Diamond Dogs track 1984 actually hinted at the Philadelphian soul of Young Americans, which is a more famous song of his, which he went on to perform on The Cher Show with its host.

The 1990’s were certainly an experimental time for David Bowie. But to my knowledge, I think the 1990’s was a time for everyone. He married supermodel Iman some days after performing at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert, and released the album I named earlier, Black Tie White Noise. It is known to have had a prominent use of electronic instruments, as was his other 1990’s album, Earthling. The early 1990’s greeted David’s first real band since the Spiders From Mars, dubbed Tin Machine. They recorded three guitar-driven albums which received mixed reviews from the masses, but Bowie looks back at this period- as do I- with a certain fondness; “a glorious disaster” he called it, when talking to journalist Mick Brown. Tin Machine is a period I don’t listen to often, compared to his solo stuff, but I don’t press the skip button when it comes on.

Alas, the starman’s career drew to a close as the 2000s rolled in. David Bowie greeted the 2000’s with the birth of his and Iman’s daughter, the beautiful Alexandria Zahra Jones. After suffering a- strange, as it were- heart attack symptoms mid-song during a concert in 2004, he took a hiatus from his career. I say strange because given what I know, he was trying his best to stay healthy at the time. According to my special Rolling Stone edition magazine about David Bowie (released at the start of this year), he was on tour and performing in a really hot arena. But Bowie was sober, and had quit smoking. He was taking medication to lower his cholesterol, and worked out with a trainer. Bowie looked great, and yet he felt a pain in his shoulder and chest, along with a shortness for breath. A bodyguard rushed onstage to usher Bowie off of it, cutting the concert short. He only performed live once or twice after that point, but was set on never going live ever again. And he kept his word on that, unfortunately but also fortunately. Unfortunately, because David Bowie live would have been quite the experience- I wouldn’t know, personally. But fortunately, because I do not believe anyone needs a repeat of the 2004 Reality scare.

I am actually not too fond of speaking of his final years. Nobody really likes to speak of the last years of their idols’ life before their death, so it’s no surprise. Blackstar was David Bowie’s 25th and final album, recorded entirely in secret in New York alongside his long-time producer, Tony Visconti. The album's central theme lyrically is mortality, and seeing as Bowie was undergoing chemotherapy for his cancer at the time, I see it as his way of coping with his incoming death. His producer Tony Visconti called him a ‘canny bastard’, when he realized Bowie was essentially writing a farewell album. Every song on the album is what is considered a swan song, a swan song in question being a phrase for a final gesture of some sort before retirement or death. In this case, death. Over the course of recording the album, David Bowie’s chemotherapy had actually been working and he had an eerie optimism while recording. But by the time they shot the two music videos Blackstar and Lazarus, where he showed off the definite passage of time and cruelty of chemotherapy through sparse and gray hair with sagging skin, he knew his condition was terminal and that this would be a battle he would lose. Blackstar wasn’t the first album to have been made by a musician succumbing to a fatal illness, but in my opinion it is in fact the most beautiful. It’s jazzy, and elegant, showing how at peace he had become with dying.

Blackstar the album was released on January 8th, 2016. Also known as David Bowie’s 69th birthday. Two days later, David Bowie died at his Lafayette Street home on January 10th after living with liver cancer for up to 18 months. Beforehand, he had let it be known he did not want a funeral nor a burial, but rather that his body be cremated and the ashes to be scattered in Bali by his loved ones. His wish was received, and planet Earth was very much bluer and quieter without his colour and wonderful noise.

As I said earlier on, David Bowie’s career came with ups and downs. His mysteriously close relationship with Mick Jagger, his cross with famous underage groupie Lori Maddox, the births of his two talented children, his faschist bender in the 70’s, and final bang of Blackstar in his final year on earth. Through the highs and lows, his career and his music meant a lot to the quote-unquote misfits and freaks of the world, myself included. David Bowie turned and faced the strange, shouted “you’re not alone!” To those who felt the loneliest, he surely spent his career helping those who needed to be themselves, feel more freer and braver in doing so, no matter what they may be when they are themselves. He never went boring, he never went stale, he sang what he wanted and dressed how he pleased, and kept to his word on how much more to life there is when you’re just that; yourself. A year after David Bowie’s untimely passing, his son Duncan Jones accepted an award for British album of the year that was won by Blackstar at the 37th annual Brit Awards. When he accepted it, he made a speech about his father that I will leave here, and never forget. Seeing as it perfectly encapsulates David Bowie’ legacy, and the true meaning of his extraordinary career.

“I lost my dad last year, but I also became a dad. And, uhm, I was spending a lot of time- after getting over the shock- of trying to work out what would I want my son to know about his granddad? And I think it would be the same thing that most of my dad's fans have taken over the last 50 years. That he’s always been there supporting people who think they’re a little bit weird or a little bit strange, a little bit different, and he’s always been there for them. So...this award is for all the kooks, and all the people who make the kooks. Thanks, Brits, and thanks to his fans.” - Duncan Z. H. Jones (February 22 2017, at The O2 Arena in London.)

13 notes · View notes

bring-the-storm · 2 years

Text

I posted 1,571 times in 2021

106 posts created (7%)

1465 posts reblogged (93%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 13.8 posts.

I added 1,596 tags in 2021

#miraculous - 649 posts

#ml spoilers - 271 posts

#ladynoir - 174 posts

#kotlc - 92 posts

#ml fanart - 86 posts

#adrien agreste - 80 posts

#ephemeral - 78 posts

#chat noir - 63 posts

#lol - 54 posts

#miraculous ladybug - 49 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#this is your friendly reminder that you likely will find more enjoyment investing your time/energy in a show/book/movie/whatever that you ac

My Top Posts in 2021

Why Ladynoir is dating in secret

a guest post on the Ladyblog

posted 6 hours ago / 1,165,874 hits

I’m pretty sure all of us have heard about the Ladynoir drama by now. After all, today they were literally chosen to be Couple of the Year before Ladybug announced that they weren’t dating. And for some reason, a lot of you seem to be riled up about this, which is why I’m here to present my theory:

Ladybug and Chat Noir are dating in secret.

I know, this seems a little far-fetched at first glance, but once you start to thin about it... it begins to make sense.

We begin with the famous Ladynoir dynamic. Most of us had already assumed that they were dating until that theory was debunked earlier today. I mean, both of them are super flirty all. the. time. “M’lady?” Hand kisses? “Chaton?” HOW DOES THAT SEEM PLATONIC

Like... how are they not dating?

They’ve kissed twice. Once as a coincidence, i could believe, but TWICE?

In an interview with Nadja Chamack, when presented by photos of the kisses I mentioned previously, this was the hero’s reaction

Nadja: It's so obvious that you're both in love. Ladybug: These are just a bunch of photos taken out of context! We're only doing our job. We save the city every day, we're not a couple. Cat Noir: But hopefully, one day... Ladybug: Cat...not now!

Not... now? As in implying that they would be having more of this conversation later? Perhaps so Ladybug can remind her kitty that their relationship is supposed to be a secret.

Additionally, previously in the interview,

Nadja: Ladybug, Cat Noir, a lot of fans think of you as a couple of superheroes. But also, and I quote unquote, as a couple. Period. Ladybug: (Ladybug shrieks upon hearing that accusation.) What? Nadja: Can you confirm that you're dating here, tonight? Ladybug: Uh-uh-I'm very sorry Nadja, but we're superheroes. We're not here to answer such personal questions.

Ladybug seems shocked and horrified at the prospect of dating the boy that she has been flirting with (calling him kitty, ringing his bell, ect.) all evening. She’s so quick to shoot down any theories, that when Nadja tries to ask about the already confirmed Ladynoir kiss (at that point in time, you may recall that Oblivio hadn’t happened yet), Ladybug ends the interview almost instantly.

Moving onto the famous Oblivio kiss itself, how did they even end up kissing in the first place? I know that our dear Ladyblogger has asked this question in the past and has come up with several theories, but I think it’s important to bring up again.

Specifically why they ended up kissing in the first place.

I don’t know about you, but if I suddenly woke up in a strange building with amnesia next to some random guy, I wouldn’t have gone from just meeting him for the first time, to kissing him in under an hour.

This leads me to believe that something in the tower led the hero duo to remember that they had a secret reationship, but they weren’t aware that it was a secret relationship. That’s why whenever it’s brought up, Ladybug tends to protest with, “our memories were wiped!”

Today, there was quite a scandal when Alya somewhat out of the blue decided to delete every Ladynoir photo from the Ladyblog.

Alya has no motivation for doing this. You and I both know that she is quite possibly the strongest Ladynoir shipper out there.

This leads me to believe that she has been encouraged (perhaps by Ladybug or Chat Noir) to delete all evidence of Ladynoir. Possibly after they explained the nature of their relationship to her.

Now you may as, why would they need to keep their relationship a secret?

The answer is simple: Hawkmoth.

If Hawkmoth knew that they were dating, then then he could use it against them, manipulating their relationship and possibly getting one or both of them akumatized.

Obviously, this is just a theory, but I knew I wasn’t going to get any sleep until I reassured you all that Ladynoir may not be dead. It may even be canon.

62 notes • Posted 2021-10-25 01:21:08 GMT

im rewatching Kuro Neko today and I CANT believe all the little things I missed while I was busy freaking out over the fact that Juleka was literally the kwami of power the whole time. Still, I can’t believe how the fandoms just skimming over some of the other plot twists. Like how the Gorilla was actually Plagg the whole time or how Lila’s going to be the next Ladybug holder. I know these twists have been foreshadowed in previous episodes and several members of the fandom have theorized at them I’m the past, but I still wish that the fandom was giving them more recognition. I can’t wait to see how things turn out in the finale.

64 notes • Posted 2021-12-23 15:58:23 GMT

“Second Chance!”

In honor of the amazing @tvailu and their 25,913 resets, I’ve decided we’re going to have a little fun with this. In case you didn’t know, Project 25,913 is a challenge to write each and everyone one of Aspik’s repeats during Desperada. Each and every one.

25, 913 is a lot.

Which is why I’m running a tag game!

If/when you get tagged, you are now stuck in Aspik’s time loop and experts on the snake miraculous suggest that you write your way out of this one.

Write a oneshot or drabble (it can be as little as a few sentences) and add it to our collection! Then (through pure chaos and awesomeness) tag your friends/strangers/people you think are cool!

NO YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A WRITER TO PARTICIPATE!

We have 25,913 to hit after all!

Tagging: @sugarshackpeasant @steelblaidd @team-leo-v @tvailu @sunfoxfic @miraculouslycool @thelibraryloser @ultrakart (you got me into this accidentally, now i’m dragging you down with me) @karkalicious769 @anyone i forgot to add i’m sorry @literally anyone who wants to join please join in!

if you aren’t sure why you’re on that list too bad i think you’re cool and you deserve to be here

They had been running for what felt like months now.

Over and over and over. The slide-click! Of the stupid bracelet had become almost instinctual.

Aspik wasn’t sure when he had begun counting the seconds.

“Out here,” he called quietly over his shoulder as Ladybug trekked behind. He raced up the steps of the ladder to the manhole with practiced movements. “Once we’re out, duck behind the blue car and stay low. Desperada shouldn’t be able to see us quite yet.”

They had run this way before, but they hadn’t come out of this part of the sewers yet so maybe, just maybe this would be fine. (Adrien hadn’t gotten to this point by being a pessimist.)

Aspik helped Ladybug to her feet as they stepped out of the manhole.

“Thanks Adrien.”

“No time for thanks,” he nodded. “We’ve been through this before.”

“Right,” his lady nodded. “Let’s go capture her akuma.”

The two of them ducked behind the car.

“When I say go, make a run for it,” he hissed, nodding to the alleyway across the street.

“Got it.”

“Go,” he whispered.

Ladybug darted across the street. She only had seven seconds before Desperada came this way so if she couldn’t make it-

Forgetting to look at the ground beneath her feet, Ladybug slipped back down the manhole with a groan.

“I’m okay!” she shouted up at him.

“Okay, so next time warn her about the manhole,” Aspik noted, ripping his eyes away from the gold blasts that had surely engulfed his lady by now.

He clicked the watch back into place before the akuma could turn towards him.

“Second Chance!”

102 notes • Posted 2021-10-31 02:03:54 GMT

I can’t believe that I haven’t seen anyone talking about how powerful ladynoir were today.

Being fired at by four different akumas? No problem.

Uh-oh. Chat’s surrounded! Let’s just cataclysm the street and outmanuver everyone

Marinette stuck dealing with a rouge kwami? Let’s just chase Tikki HALFWAY ACROSS THE CITY AS A CIVILAIN LIKE IM A DISTANCE RUNNER AND I COULDN’T HANDLE THAT

Chat can just, i don’t know, CATACLYSM A LUCKY CHARM THAT IS LITERALLY LARGER THAN EARTH LIKE ITS NO PROBLEM

AND THEN MARINETTE JUST STAYS WITH THE KWAMI WHO’S DESTROYING THE CITY TO TRY AND CONVINCE HER TO CHANGE AS A CIVILIAN WITH NO FEAR. WTH

Don’t forget how fast paced those battle scenes were. They dealt with four akumas faster than it took for them to deal with ONE in season 1.

I just like how they’re actually becoming more and more talented and i get to watch it happen.

121 notes • Posted 2021-10-20 02:53:20 GMT

Me: aw i can’t believe I ran out of fics to read :(

The 98979 fics I have marked for later on ao3:

Me: don’t look at me like that

161 notes • Posted 2021-12-21 17:18:43 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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thebluesideofmyworld · 3 years

Text

The Small Things

Summary: Five times Nico gave a small thing to Will that actually meant a lot. And the one time when he gave Will something that meant the whole world to Will.

Word count: 2,500 words | Read on AO3

Author’s Notes: 1. A companion to my other fic titled The Clues. Each fic can still be read separately, though. 2. I have no idea how residency in a hospital works and I relied on Google so apologize for the inaccuracy.

***

[1. The Keychain]

Will was just going over the notes he had after the sign-out with the overnight resident. He was ready to go for his pre-round when Kayla, his fellow resident in the hospital called him.

“Will! I got something for you,” Kayla waved at him from the door.

Will raised his eyebrows questioningly at Kayla who strolled down the room to see Will.

“Do you remember that Italian guy who came here last Tuesday? Who was here panicking over his little cousin?”

Will’s heart skipped a beat. “You mean Mr. di Angelo?”

Yes. Of course Will remembered him. The Italian guy with dark eyes and dark hair, distressed over a little girl. Luckily, it wasn’t really a serious case.

Kayla nodded and hummed. “Guess what? He came back.”

Will’s eyes widened. “Wait. What? He came back? What happened?”

Will was pretty sure that the little adorable girl (she told him that her name was Estelle and she’s would be four years old next March) just had a mild sore throat. But maybe she got worse?

Kayla laughed. “Will, relax. Actually, he came here by himself.”

“Really?”

Kayla nodded again, along with a teasing smirk. “Really. So last night, he came here and stopped by the front desk receptionist. He told her to give this,” she lifted up a small, envelope-size package in brown paper. “To the, quote-unquote, the nice blond doctor who took care of his cousin last Tuesday,” Kayla made a quoting gesture with her fingers at the phrase nice blond doctor.

Will’s heart flutter as the image of the young Italian guy crossed his mind. “And that was me.”

“Yes, Will. That was you,” Kayla said. Her lips twitched as she gave the package to Will.

“Thanks, Kayla!” Will said.

“Anytime, Will,” Kayla winked, and left the room.

Will quickly opened the package. He found a small, yellow sunflower-shape keychain there, along with a small piece of paper, folded neatly. His heart fluttered pleasantly as he opened the small paper.

Estelle loves the sunflower pin that you gave her. This is just a small token to let you know how much I appreciate your help when I was panicking over her that day. Nico di Angelo

Right below the neatly written note, was a series of numbers.

***

[2. The risotto]

It has been a long day for Will. Exhausted, Will threw himself to the couch, and let out a long sigh. Closing his eyes, he relaxed, letting himself melted into his couch.

He grabbed his phone. It might not be the healthiest option to order some junk food but he was starving and he didn’t think he had the energy to prepare dinner. But before he could pull up the Uber Eat Application, a message came in.

Will’s heart did a happy little jump when he saw Nico’s name as the sender. They have been texting almost non-stop for the last three weeks, sometimes calling each other. They even went on three dates, and last night Nico gave him a ride home from their date at a small but homey deli close to the hospital.

From: Nico di Angelo Are you home?

Will quickly typed his reply.

To: Nico di Angelo Yes. Why?

From: Nico di Angelo Good. i’m at your door

Will’s eyes widened. The next second, he jumped off the couch and scrambled to the door. Once he pulled the door opened, Nico stood right in front of him.

Will leaned on the door frame, a smile bloomed on his lips.

“Hey!” He greeted Nico, unconsciously ran a hand over his head.

“You left your sweatshirt in my car last night.”

Will angled his neck a little. “Really?”

Nico hummed. “Yep. The blue one.”

Oh, yeah. Will vaguely remembered taking it off hastily when things got a bit…heated last night in the car. Heat rushed along in the back of Will’s neck as last night’s memories flashed in his mind. He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well,” he said, glancing at the square canvas bag that Nico was carrying. “You don’t have to return it now…”

“Who said I’m returning it?”

Will looked at Nico, half-bemused. “You’re not?”

Nico shook his head. “Nope. I’m keeping it. It’s so warm so I decided to keep it for myself.”

Will couldn’t help but let out a small amused snort. “I thought you’re here to return it.”

“Nope. I’m here to feed you.” Nico lifted up the canvas bag that he brought along with him. “I made risotto. My Mamma’s recipe.”

Will stared at Nico, suddenly at a loss for words. So, not just Nico was so damn attractive, he also could cook? Will had no idea how Nico was even real.

Will was probably staring at Nico for too long, as Nico finally huffed. “So. Do you want to have it for dinner or no?”

Will blinked, but then his lips quickly tugged up into a smile. His heart did another happy dancing as he opened the door wider, and let Nico in.

“I’ll set up the table for us,” Will said.

***

[3. A dog-sitting service]

“Are you sure that you’re okay doing it?”

“Oh my God, Will! Of course! Why wouldn’t I?”

Will shrugged his shoulder a little as he stroked Buttercup’s head, who was snuggling next to him on Nico’s couch.

“I don’t know. I kind of think that you’re more like a cat person.”

“Well, I am. But doesn’t mean that I can’t stand dogs. In fact, I really like dogs. And Buttercup is such a good dog, aren’t you, girl?” Nico said, petting the dog. As if on cue, Buttercup sat up and barked happily. Nico laughed, and the corgi jumped to his lap.

“It’s not too much of a trouble for you, right? I mean, I know that you’re busy-“

“Will?” Nico cut him short.

“Yeah?”

“Shut up. Just go to the conference. It’s only for three days, and I know that going there is something that you’ve arranged since like, three months ago, right?”

Will nodded. He was lucky enough that the duty hours in his pediatric residency in the hospital were still bearable. But still, arranging his schedule so he could go to the conference was a bit tricky.

Nico gave him a small reassuring smile. “Will, I know that this conference is important for you. And Buttercup is also important for you. Let me help you, Will. I want you to be able to do and have things that important to you. Because you deserve that.”

Will’s heart felt too big for his chest. He wished that more people could see that even with his all-black aesthetic, Nico had the purest, softest soul.

“Thank you,” He scooted closer to Nico, and placed a quick peck on Nico’s cheek. “Do you know what else is important to me?”

“Your residency?”

Will chuckled. “Well. Yeah. Obviously. But guess what?”

“What?”

Will booped Nico’s nose. “You, are also important to me.”

Nico stared back at Will with a gentle and warm smile, and his eyes were shining. He leaned to kiss Will’s cheek. “You too, tesoro,” he said softly. “You are important to me too.”

***

[4. The pillow]

When Nico opened the door, Will beamed at him,

“So, are you ready for the ultimate experience of a Star Wars marathon?” He asked.

Nico groaned and covered his face with both hands. He pulled down his hands and shook his head. “I can’t believe that I’m dating a Star Wars geek.”

Will’s heart fluttered at the word dating. About two months ago, Will already felt a spark of attraction inside of him when Nico stepped in to the hospital, carrying Estelle with him. But he didn’t even dare to hope that the Italian guy would see him more than just a random doctor in the ER at that time. Yet, here they were now. Two months later. Dating.

Will leaned over to place a quick peck on Nico’s cheek.

“Get ready for a long night, babe” Will said as he stepped in.

He took off his shoes and left them by the wall as Nico closed the door. Will made a beeline to the living area of the apartment, and chuckled when he saw the couch. A fluffy blanket that looked comfortably warm was draped over the couch, two cushion pillows were stacked on one end of the couch. Nico has even pulled the ottoman closer to the couch so that someone could rest their legs on it while lounging on the couch. There were two bowls on the coffee table, one held some chips and the other one had popcorn in it.

“I can see that you are ready for this,” Will said.

Nico stopped right in front of the door to his bedroom and glanced at Will over his shoulder. He shrugged his shoulder. “Well, what can I say? I’m just well prepared like that,” he said. He disappeared from sight as he stepped into the bedroom.

Will threw himself to the couch and made himself comfortable there. He was pulling out his phone from his pocket when he heard Nico called his name.

“Hey, Will? I got something for you.”

Will lifted his head up, and caught a pillow that Nico threw at him. Will looked at the pillow. For a second, his eyes widened as he saw the picture printed on the pillowcase, and then he laughed.

“Awww…. You got an extra pillow for me?” Will said, hugging the pillow close to his chest. “That is sweet!”

Nico let out a small huff as he sat down next to Will on the couch. “Well, I’m guessing that at one point, you’re just going to fall asleep on the couch. So I guess, might as well make it comfortable.”

Will held his eyes at Nico who started the TV. “You know what? I have a question about that. But first, how dare you to think that I would fall asleep during a Star Wars marathon?”

Nico rolled his eyes. “You came here straight from the hospital. Your body needs the sleep, Will. And you’re still a Star Wars geek even if you fall asleep while watching the movie that you have rewatched for dozens of times.”

Will pursed his lips. “Okay. I guess you might have a point there. But also…”

Nico brushed some strands of his hair that were covering his eyes. “What?”

“Does it mean that you’re okay with me staying for the night?” Will asked, a bit carefully.

Nico made that cute small huff again. But this time, it came along a blush on his cheeks. “Well, how long do you think it would take to watch the Original Trilogy?”

“All night long,” Will answered

“Then you’ll be here all night long. Right?”

Will grinned. He placed the pillow on the couch, and wrapped an arm around Nico’s waist.

“Well, in that case,” he said, pulling Nico into his side. “Then I’ll be here with you all night long.”

Nico snuggled against Will’s side, finding a comfortable position. He mumbled something about Will being so warm.

Will held Nico just a bit tighter, and kissed his temple. “I’ll make pancakes for breakfast tomorrow,” he whispered.

They both fell asleep before they finished The Empire Strikes Back.

***

[5. the body wash]

His 15-minute break was almost over, and Will was just finished his blueberry muffin when his phone dinged, signaling an incoming message. Will picked his phone up. Without even thinking, he smiled when he saw who it was sending him a text message.

From: Nico di Angelo Guess where i am rite now

To: Nico di Angelo Where?

Just two seconds later, Nico’s reply came in. Instead of a text message, Nico sent him a picture. It was a picture of a basket with two bottles in it. Will’s eyebrows shot up as he recognized the bottles. He quickly typed another text message.

To: Nico di Angelo Wait. Are you telling me that right now you’re at Lush getting yourself the same body wash and shampoo as mine? Is that why you asked me what brand I used the other day?

This time, it took just a bit longer before Nico’s reply came in.

From: Nico di Angelo Yes, i’m at lush. but no, they’re not for me They’re for you. But I’ll put them in the bathroom in my apartment. So you can use them when you’re staying over

To: Nico di Angelo Why? you don’t want me to use yours?

Will stared at his phone. To be honest, he’s a bit confused. Like, it’s nice that Nico was getting something for him. But this time, he didn’t really understand why.

Luckily, he didn’t have to wait for too long, as another message came in.

From: Nico di Angelo No, I don’t want you to use mine If you use mine you’ll smell like me. I want you to smell like you I don’t want you to be anything else but yourself

The slight frown that Will had just seconds ago quickly turned into a smile.

To: Nico di Angelo You’re sweet, you know that? Also, want to watch Attack of the Clones tonight?

That night, Will spend more time in the bathroom than he would ever admit, just staring at his new bottles of body wash and shampoo, right next to Nico’s.

***

[+1. A hand to hold]

Will took a deep breath, and slowly let it out in a long exhale. He stared at the door to the café, just a few feet away in front of him.

“Hey,” Nico tugged the sleeve of his shirt. “How are you feeling?”

Will angled his neck to look at his boyfriend, and tried to smile.

“I’m okay,” he said, and then he cringed a bit. “I mean, I’m a bit nervous… I guess? But I think I’m okay.”

Nico smiled at him and his eyes were so warm and just so beautiful. He took Will’s hand and held it, their fingers together.

“Don’t worry, Sunshine,” he said. “Hazel is going to like you.”

Will stared at the way their fingers laced together. The weight of Nico’s hand felt warm in his, and it felt like a promise that everything’s going to be just fine.

Will smiled, and brought Nico’s hand to his lips. He softly kissed the back of Nico’s hand.

“I hope so. Because I think I’m in love with his brother.”

The smile painted on Nico’s lips and his sparkling eyes were the prettiest sight that Will had ever seen. Nico tiptoed a bit, and placed a gentle kiss on Will’s temple.

“I think I love you too,” he whispered.

They walked into the café. Holding hands, they made their way to the table where Hazel was sitting who smiled brightly once she saw them. Will only let go of Nico’s hand so he could shake Hazel’s hand.

“Hi,” he greeted Hazel. “My name is Will Solace, and I’m dating your brother.”

***

Author’s Notes:

1. Thank you for reading :D 2. Any notes (likes, reblog, replies or a message to me) are cherished so much

#solangelo #nico di angelo #will solace #solangelo fanfic #solangelo fic #solangelo oneshot #pjo #pjo fanfic

47 notes · View notes

wickedpact · 4 years

Text

anyways @ THE ANON THAT ASKED ABOUT THE GREG RUCKA PODCAST TRANSCRIPT: i did it

Long Ass Post under cut

(literally not kidding there’s an hour long podcast worth of transcript under this cut)

Mimi: Hi I'm Mimi Chan, welcome to culture chat, thanks for joining the conversation. Hi everyone, happy Friday. You might want to watch The Old Guard movie on Netflix before listening today. You can also read my film review to get hyped up for viewing – which is linked here.

Greg Rucka and Leandro Fernández‘s The Old Guard comic has been adapted to film that is available for viewing on Netflix. As the writer of both the comic and screenplay, Greg brings insights on the movie and the decisions behind some of the deviations from the comic.

For fans of the comic, have no fear, the characters and story follow pretty closely to the original. I am fortunate that I developed a friendship with Greg during our weekly conversations and felt comfortable asking candid questions about the adaptation.

Greg shares insights about the film that prompts a discussion on how the film speaks to the crisis our country is currently in amidst the covid19 pandemic and the lack of accountability from our government.

The Old Guard, directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood, is available on Netflix now starring an amazing cast including: Charlize Theron and Chiwetel Ejiofor.

For those that don’t already know: Greg Rucka is a New York Times bestselling author of hundreds of comics and nearly two dozen novels. He has written for film, television, and video games. His career has included critically acclaimed and Eisner-winning work in both the creator-owned and work-for-hire arenas.

I’m loving these conversations and hope you are too. If you are, please rate my podcast on your platform of choice.

Finally, if you would like to support with a donation, you can become a patron of the show by visiting my website or Patreon.com. For comments or suggestions, please email me at [email protected] or reach out on social media @sifumimichan. Now on with the show!

[the phonecall starts]

Mimi: Hello, hello, Greg Rucka!

Greg: How you doing, Mimi?

Mimi: Great since last week, um, I'm great also because I got to watch The Old Guard!

Greg: [BIG GASP] You did?

Mimi: I did, I did! Apparently I qualify as a real journalist to Netflix. [laughs]

Greg: [also laughs] Right, you sent the media inquiry and they said ‘sure’!

Mimi: I said, ‘you know, what? It would be great if I actually saw this before talking to Greg, and then I could really have a conversation.’ And I was like, ‘wait, why don't I just check if I can?’ And then naturally--

Greg: Lo and behold!

Mimi: Yeah, if you ask, uh, you know,? That’s when things get done.

Greg: [finishing her 'if you ask' thought] --you shall receive, yeah.

Mimi: That's right, that's right.

Greg: It's interesting to me because I know that for some people... you know, they had no problem getting access...

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: And then, you know, the friends and family screenings were a freaking nightmare to arrange.

Mimi: Oh really?

Greg: And they were like 'oh no you can only give it to only like seven people'

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: And it's like 'oh hey dudes calm down' but, you know, uh, it won't matter come midnight tonight--

Mimi: That's right!

Greg: --Everyone's gonna have access!

Mimi: That's right. so I was so excited to be able to watch it and, um, man-- I almost feel bad talking to you right now because I feel like you must be really kind of exhausted from talking about the film --as much as you love it! I just I can only imagine that it's been hour after hour after hour of inquiry, so I feel a little guilty.

Greg: There has been a lot of talking about the movie, yes. There has not been a lot of talking about the movie with you, however, so that that does distinguish it.

Mimi: Ah, you are too kind to me, too kind to me. So, first of all-- and you're gonna have to sit here and just take it -- I'm just so unbelievably excited for you and a huge congratulations-- I mean-- I already knew from the trailer, that it was going to be a quality and just an intense and well-written film, because you wrote it. But, upon watching it --you know, of course, you know, Oscar [her bf or husband maybe?] got to jump into my media pass. He was privy!

Greg: I was gonna say, did you say 'you can't come in here while I watch it', you know?

Mimi: I mean, you know-- he's not gonna tell anyone. But we were, we were completely enamored. We were super super excited, and it wasn't just an action film, you know. I think beyond that, what you and Gina brought to it was just-- the strength of the characters, which is something you and I have discussed so much, and how that is what drives a story, and so beyond it being a good movie I just really feel like you were able to tell the story that you conveyed-- not only in the comic, but, you know, come to life. And so I'm, I was, I'm just so excited for you.

Greg: And I'm delighted to hear it

Mimi: I have been reading reviews-- I wrote my own little review-- you know, since I got the access and all, I felt like obligated but, um, obviously, I'm not the only one with this opinion. You must feel-- I guess validated is the wrong word, because I think, you know where you stand with your work, but it must feel really good being your first screenplay.

Greg: I-- wow. um. Hm. I -- so Netflix sends, um, an email like on average once a day, sometimes it's been twice a day, with sort of like 'here's the press round up'!

Mimi: Yeah

Greg: And so I’ve woken up the last couple days to 'here are the reviews!' and I immediately delete. Right? Because I don't want to see them, um... and that's just me, right. That’s just me trying to negotiate how I feel about... reviews and my relationship with them. And, it isn't the most mature way to deal with them, I am the first to admit, um, but I-- for better or worse, I'm in a place where I feel like, well if I invest in a review --that is a positive review-- the amount of work... um... the amount of work required to do the due diligence on the reviewer and also on then, say, negative reviews is such that I just-- I'm not going-- I can't devote it.

Mimi: Right, mm-hm, yeah, it's a rabbit hole.

Greg: So some of the reviews-- and all that said, some of this stuff is getting to me anyway, right, I mean, I got-- you know people text me and 'oh look here's a review' and it is gratifying as hell. Uh... at the end of the day --and I learned this with my novels pretty early on, is that at the end of the day, you know, a great review is wonderful, and it'll make you feel good about yourself, and maybe it'll sell more books... but at a certain point in -- and you know this-- you've experienced this... as you make the thing, and then at a certain point it goes into the world and all you can do is be like... you know, ‘are you wearing clean underwear and hopefully you'll find a safe home’ [<-- he’s talking like he's the story's mother with that statement]. You know, hopefully-- hopefully there will-- there are people out there that will embrace. So the extension of that is that... Netflix reaches something like 130 million plus households around the world. alright, Um, I'm pretty sure out of a theoretical 130 million people who might see the movie, uh, you know -- I would be surprised if, you know, 30 percent of them didn't-- you know-- couldn't stand it. I wouldn't-- I wouldn't be surprised. Right? There are going to be people who are going to see it and it's not going to be their thing.

Mimi: Yeah

Greg: they're not-- it's not going to speak to them-- they're not going to like the choices that we made-- that they're going to be offended, or just bored or whatever. And... Can’t do anything about it!

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: All I can do is stand beside the work that we've created and say I am proud of what we did here, and I feel that we, um, we honored the source material, and --I believe -- in many ways improved on it.

Mimi: Yeah and that's something I definitely want to get into. I mean my take was obviously-- I'm a fan of your comics, so I know the comic, I know the story, and the immediate thing as a comic book quote unquote fan is like: you're comparing, right, you're comparing the story, you're comparing the characters-- and, you know, when I wrote my little review I thought about what I could say, you know, I could I could criticize action, I could talk about this... but I really feel -- and this maybe, it's because you and I have been talking for like 11 or 12 weeks straight now, it's literally like... the perfect story at a time when we need it most. I think there's strong women, there's a diverse cast, and ass kicking to greedy individuals of the world is exactly what we need right now!

Greg: Like oh yeah, there's some lovely wish fulfillment. Yes, you know, it's like 'oh, you know, rich selfish pharma asshole? Yeah oh no you got an axe in your head! Too bad!'

Mimi: I know! I was like, ‘so Greg, so Greg!’ and-- you know, we've talked about this before like now that I'm reading your novels and your prose, it's, it's I hear you speaking to me in my head even though usually it's an audio book-- and so even watching the film Oscar and I immediately were like 'I wonder what pharma did to piss him off recently' and, you know, so it's just it's so great--

Greg: Exist!

Mimi: -- to be able to kind of watch it-- [laughing] Exist, right right. So, um, so let's talk about--

Greg [gearing himself up]: Let's talk about insulin prices maybe, uh, you know, I mean. Doesn’t take much--

Mimi: Yeah and you and I discussed this, uh, previously as well that you do feel that at the end of the day you wrote a better story, and I already put a disclaimer at the top of this podcast that yeah--

[Both at once] total spoiler alerts big spoiler alerts!

Mimi: --but there's no way I'm not going to talk to you about it! Which is, um, you know, the ending obviously is so, uh, different than what was laid out in the comic. One is, uh, Andy is still bleeding! What the hell! [laughs] so that's the first thing. But my big takeaway and the thing I loved, and I think that was probably a decision by both you and Gina, um, was Nile really becoming kind of the heroine and finding herself in her own, but also really the one to bring everyone back to what was purposeful and what was meaningful-- finding that why, you know, and I think that was a really really powerful choice and I actually really enjoyed that choice. So I was wondering, um, you know, for you of course knowing the story already, and then going 'okay here I am going to adapt' it like at what point did you realize like-- that was something that needed to change?

Greg: Well, um, I mean if people have been listening to interviews some of this is going to sound a little repetitious. I will say that, you know, the first draft of the screenplay I did with, uh, Matt Grimm(?) as sort of my producer in quotes, at Skydance and when we finished it-- or when I finished it-- and he had given me all the notes and I’d done revisions, and we put it in front of Don Granger(?) at Skydance-- and Granger came back with three notes. And I have dealt with a lot of Hollywood types and in the main-- most of their notes are crap. And Granger has yet to give me a note that wasn't spot dead on. And the biggest of the three was, um, you know, he said-- I really like-- it's really good-- he says ‘Nile has no impact whatsoever on this plot. Um, if you remove her the story changes, but the plot doesn't’. And I sat there and I went-- you know, bewildered -- and I sort of looked at the source material and I was like 'you are absolutely correct. You are absolutely 100% correct'. So the big thing that happened between the first draft and the second draft was that I thought of the second draft as-- this is the Nile draft-- like the first draft had been the Andy story. And then the second draft was me going, ‘okay you have the Andy story, now what is the Nile story? Really really take a look at that and figure out how to bone it up’. So and I honestly think that in large part it was the execution of that, uh, was one of the things that Gina responded to so strongly when she was given the screenplay. And then when Gina came aboard, there was just consistent work in fine-tuning not just Andy and Nile but everybody else's stories throughout the work. But it was, um, it was absolutely, you know, I mean-- it was-- it was-- it was malice of forethought. It was-- it was 'Nile has to be able to shoulder this and we need to serve her well'

Mimi: Yeah and--

Greg: Andy was never the question, it really was: can we do right for Nile?

Mimi: Yeah no and that really definitely shines through. And I think there's that says so much about you as a writer, as a screenwriter, as a storyteller, because there are a lot of people, um, that would not be able to have that humility in writing and maybe take that feedback and criticism. because, you know, this was not like you adapted someone else's comic, like this was already your comic, you know, so they're basically giving you notes on what's already your story-- and did you find that aspect of it, uh, challenging or was it just kind of second nature-- because I know you as a person, so I know that you would take criticism well, if it is well meant and if it was constructive. but at the same time when you're in it though, and you've put so much work into those drafts-- it's not like 'oh let me just write this' and it takes five minutes, you know? You put so much into it. So how's that process for you?

Greg: You know, it was not-- it wasn't as difficult as some people seem to think it might have been. And maybe it's simply that I'm at an age where I'm able to look at my work with some degree of objectivity and I, long ago, past the point of believing that, uh... that that the work can't be improved. and I went into the process eyes very wide open, you know, I think one of the reasons Skydance was willing to let me write the drafts was because I made it clear up front that I understood... The movie was not the comic. It needed to be a different thing, and one of the things that they were adamant about were the things that I kept. Now, I had a conversation with Granger once where I said 'I'm kind of surprised nobody ever came to me and said ‘you got to get rid of that armored car sequence' and he looked at me and he said 'if that hadn't been in there I would have wanted to know why, and I would have made you put it back. That’s one of the things that we bought' for instance. So I think, you know, if there was anything to recommend me, it was that I entered the process... fully aware that this had to be a different animal.

Mimi: Yeah, yeah.

Greg: And that was liberating. And there are certain things-- for instance, you know, um, in the comic book there's the sequence in the Paris safe house on the stairs in the apartment. And when Charlize came on one of the first notes was 'we're gonna have to change that sequence'. Because in recent memory Charlize Theron has done a pretty intense action sequence--

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: --coming down the stairs in an apartment.

Mimi: Atomic Blonde, yeah

Greg: You got it! And it was like oh that-- that's a gimme. And the result of that was the discovery of Goussainville right, which is this real town 30 minutes outside of Paris that is a ghost town; it's been a ghost town since the early 1970s.

Mimi: Wow, yeah it was a beautiful location

Greg: Yeah and-- and the place is real, and they didn't shoot in Goussainville. They shot-- they shot that at the same place where they shot the medieval castle flashbacks.

Mimi: Okay.

Greg: That's all the same estate.

Mimi: Nice, nice.

Greg: It's about an hour outside of London. Which gives you an idea of the magic--

Mimi: Of the magic of movies yeah! And do you feel like maybe because your experience as a comic book collaborator... like you have to collaborate. I’ve learned about this a lot more as I’ve spoken to so many creators -- like you and Michael for instance-- on Lazarus, like the way you collaborate, it's not 'I write you draw, period' like-- you-- there's a lot of back and forth, a lot of questioning of your decisions and-- ‘arguing’ may be the wrong term, but, you know, there is a lot of, uh, collaboration in terms of Michael giving you feedback and vice versa, and not feeling like 'oh you're stepping in my territory'. Do you feel like that is probably something that maybe even conditioned you for the screenwriting process?

Greg: I think so. If -- I mean-- I don't wanna-- I don't wanna pat myself on the back over much. But I do think that I am, um, I think I'm certainly a willing collaborator if not always a good collaborator on projects. Um, that if the people I am working with... want to engage that collaboration, I tend to respond to it very well. Um, and I think that's something that absolutely was learned through comics. And I can think, you know, immediately of Gotham Central which doesn't exist if Ed Brubaker(?) and I don't learn how to work together with Michael Lark(?) very quickly and very adeptly--which to this day, is one of my favorite collaborations in comics ever. I don't think you get to work, like, 52 for DC, um, if you don't learn how to collaborate, and to collaborate well.

Mimi: Exactly.

Greg: Which isn't always which isn't always saying 'yes and' sometimes you have to put your foot down and say 'no but'

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: Um, and there were plenty of arguments to be had, you know, in the process of this. Um, but most of those arguments frankly didn't occur until really late in the stage, and they were always focused to the same end. It was never-- that-- there was never an argument about, um-- there was never an argument about intent. there was always an argument about 'what's the best way to do it' right, 'what's the best way to execute' and, you know, I lost as many of those as I won, and... In the end... it seems to have all worked out, because, you know-- it is by no means a flawless motion picture. But I think it absolutely is a successful film. I think it does, it does, it tells its story well, it is moving, it is exciting, it is fun, it has a heart to it...and it leaves you with some questions! And they're not just plot questions-- that-- it leaves you with some stuff that if you are inclined to think about, there's a lot there's a lot to unpack.

Mimi: Absolutely. Yeah. I mean... the question, of course, that whole immortality-- like some people immediately will be like 'of course I’d want to be immortal' I'm like 'but would you want to watch everyone you know die?' and then 'all right would you be alone' and, you know, of course Booker's-- you know, um-- punishment, have you, of being alone quote unquote for a hundred years... I mean a hundred years, you know, you think-- that's a long time.

Greg: Right.

Mimi: And so, uh, I do have to ask though what's up with Andy! Like --you're-- you left us in such a --in such a state! Oscar’s like 'you have to ask Greg what's going on with Andy' or do we not-- we cannot go there?

Greg: Look, the film has a very obviously-- very obvious 'in case of sequel break glass' scene. Right, I mean-- and that's how I've been referring to it. The 'emergency sequel' button is right there. And all they have to do is go 'beep' and you have your entree into another story. Um, the question about Andy really is whether or not the immortality is the thing that matters, right. Where she is left at the end of the film, I think, asks some really cool questions about who this woman gets to be moving forward. Um, and should we be able to do a sequel, you bet your ass we're going to interrogate the hell out of that. Um, but... one of the things that I particularly like about the movie-- and I say this with the, you know, 'in case in case of sequel break glass' proviso, is that the movie doesn't need a sequel. The movie has an ending, it is a complete work. It does not say, uh, 'unless there is a second story this story doesn't have merit or value or mean anything'.

Mimi: Right.

Greg: It stands absolutely on its own.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: Um, should there be an Old Guard 2, then I suspect an Old Guard 2 is gonna be arguably contingent on making an Old Guard 3. That, once you enter into a second part you are actually saying 'we are we are talking about, uh, a collection, we're we're talking about a completion here' and that movement in that structure is in act 1 and act 2 and act 3. But as it stands now as you walk away from it-- all right, so maybe Andy's gonna die. You know, maybe the next day she crosses the street she's hit by a truck.

Mimi: I'm gonna guess no on that!

Greg: But maybe. Or maybe, maybe she gets to go for 50 years, you know, and die of old age. Finally.

Mimi: Right, um, and I liked what she said, when there was that realization point by others that, you know, she was possibly losing her mortality and she said 'it doesn't matter, we go in the same way, and we come out the same way, as we always did' so nothing changes.

Greg: ‘This changes nothing’

Mimi: ‘This changes nothing’. And that really resonated with me because you kind of go ‘okay it's not about the immortality or the magic or the fighting or any of that', you know, it's like, who she is and what her purpose is has been-- you know, it was just I thought it was really--

Greg: Well and I think thematically right, um-- hold on a second sorry-- um, I think, um, thematically that that is the crucial thing right? Um, it is an issue of -- okay at the end of the day... you can strip away the whole immortality of this movie and it's still saying the same thing. And it is saying that how you live your life matters. And the decisions you make, and the choices you make, and the ways you... choose to help people, matter. And they matter beyond an accounting you will ever be privileged to see. And the... obvious and I suppose easy, um, analogy for that right now is the act of wearing a mask in public.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: Your decision to wear a mask in public may save the life of somebody literally on the other side of the world.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: And that may be the person who will cure cancer, I mean, to draw it really big.

Mimi: Yeah yeah that's the ripple effect.

Greg: Right yeah, we don't know the value of the life. And I’ve talked about this as well but, you know, if you use the good place, um, term of moral desert--

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: --if you're trying to live your life in search of moral desert then-- you-- that's a fine reason to do good things, but it is a flawed motivation. That the motivation needs to be 'we do the best we can and we try to help others because that is what we should do'. And what the film is able to say 'is these people have been around long enough that it is possible to see it'

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: But that isn't the reason you do it, right. And Andy says --and I think this is important she says that to Booker-- you do it on faith. You know, she says to Booker, 'have a little faith, Book'. Um, that she has come through all of this with this reaffirmation, that there is that... there is a worthiness to the effort itself. That we engage in the struggle for the sake of the struggle. And I can't think of anything frankly more resonant in July of 2020 than that right now. We are living in a time, in a place that is genuinely the worst it has ever been in modern history. I mean it genuinely is.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: We're looking at this-- this makes the start of World War II look like a fucking picnic. The crises that the world is facing and the bad actors who are attempting to keep it going, who are actively fighting attempts to fix it, uh, is staggering. We are facing a banality of evil at this moment that is incomprehensible, if you really start to think about it. And it is on every fucking level, you know, it's it is from foreign students we're going to kick out of the country--

Mimi: I know that's infuriating.

Greg: The only reason to do that is to kill higher education, at a time when higher education is its most vulnerable. It’s the only reason to do it.

Mimi: Yeah, it's all insidious

Greg: That is-- that is a-- that is a direct, direct attack on the intellect of the country. It is it is an attack trying to make the United States dumber, because the stupider we get the easier we are for these fucking fascists to control. Right, we have-- we are at war with Russia, but we have the GOP and the president refusing to admit it, because they work for Russia.

Mimi: Yeah yeah.

Greg: Right, but we are at war with Russia right now. All right, there's no question. We have a president who is actively promoting a white supremacist agenda, because he wants a race war, because he wants a civil war, because that way he won't have to lose the election and he won't have to leave, because if he leaves he's going to get raped to death when he goes to prison.

Mimi: Tell me how you really feel, Greg!

Greg: We are-- we are literally at a staggering crisis.

Mimi: Yeah yeah no, and when you're explaining all of those things about the film that was exactly what I was thinking was, well and that is why it's so frustrating when something as simple as, I hear people say ‘well I don't believe I should have to wear a mask' that's why it's so infuriating-- [they talk over each other a little]

Greg: --selfish thing to do

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: It is a staggering selfishness. I-- [mocking] 'oh it's hard for me to breathe wearing a face mask' it's like, 'you're the same guy who won't wear a condom because it doesn't feel good!’ you know, and it's like-- and-- I’ve got no tolerance for that, I literally have no tolerance. You know, you can't do-- it's funny, you're asking ER people to do it 24 hours a day.

Mimi: Exactly

Greg: They seem to manage it!

Mimi: Have you seen, uh, Jon Stewart lately, he's been doing a lot of interviews and there was this one where he's like 'yeah, I mean what happened to wearing a mask as like a sign of a medical professional? So the next time you go to surgery you're to tell your surgeon 'don't you dare wear a mask, get that liberal shit away from me, because I'm an American, I don't need your mask--'

Greg: '--I don't need you I’ll take those dreams(?)--'

Mimi: Yeah yeah

Greg: It's bullshit, it's selfish bullshit, and it's propaganda.

Mimi: Yeah right.

Greg: And it comes down from, you know, it comes down from, you know, the hissy fiddler in chief.

Mimi: Yeah. Lack of leadership.

Greg: Exactly.

Mimi: I'm living in it in Florida, too. Let me tell you that that trickle down is no joke, here.

Greg: I hate to tell you, Mimi, but [sarcastic] thank you, Florida. You know. Florida: the reason why the rest of the country can't have nice things.

Mimi: I know! Florida wins, every time it's so embarrassing!

Greg: I would be, I would consider moving [if he lived in Florida], simply because I would be infuriated.

Mimi: I know and, you know, I thought about it in 2016, but then I thought ‘I will stay and fight!’ because of you! You’re the one that wrote at the end of Lazarus to stay and fight, and now it's your fault that I'm staying! [Both laughing]

Greg: But see and here's the thing, right-- we can, we can rag on Florida, easy target, the fact of the matter is there are plenty of Floridians who are wearing masks and looking around and being like 'what the hell is the matter with you guys'.

Mimi: Yes! So we're trying! We’re trying!

Greg: And this is the other thing the vast number of people who are trying to do right, the people who do have empathy, the people who do care, we outnumber these guys! But the problem in being in a situation where we're all in it together is it doesn't take many people who say 'I'm not in it with you' to fuck it up for everybody else. That’s the problem. And then that is tied to the fact that those of us who do look at one another with empathy are resistant to-- for instance, taking a baseball bat to the people who are ruining for the rest of us. And this is one of the things frankly that we need to get over. We need to get to a place where it is not-- it is not tolerated. We need to get to a place where-- and the starkest example is this, you know, if you're going to pull out that racist bullshit somebody needs to hit you. There was a time when racists were scared and the reason they were scared was because they got punched in the mouth. And we stopped punching Nazis in the mouth!

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: we've stopped punching Nazis in the mouth! And we have spent way too long right now trying to reason with people when they are working from a place that defies reason. If you start your argument with 'you don't have a right to exist'. I'm not going to convince you! I have no obligation to convince you! None! None whatsoever! You look me in the eye and you say 'because you're Jewish you should die,' I get to say, 'guess what, here's the baseball bat'. That does not engage me. I will engage you about policy decisions.

Mimi: Mm-hmm yeah.

Greg: You know, Mark is fond of saying-- I remember he said 'I missed the days when I used to be able to argue with my republican friends about policy'.

Mimi: Yeah yeah I know.

Greg: You can't do that anymore, now it's about ideology and it's not even valid ideology. It is a demonstrably invalid ideology and we know it.

Mimi: Yeah yeah yeah the moral compass has been completely destroyed.

Greg: And we know how that happened and we know why that happened.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: And we all know that Mark Zuckerberg is not doing anything to fix it, because Mark Zuckerberg is a chicken shit.

Mimi: Oh you mean 'Mark Zuckerberg, comma, the known pedophile'? Who doesn't believe in checking facts?

Greg: Yeah. I'm talking about Mark Zuckerberg, who was recently seen having sex with dead goats.

Mimi: [laughs] That one, okay got it. [laughs again, pause] so, uh……... The Old Guard... I'm just kidding!

Greg: No, but, okay but to bring it back around, I think that... look, there's one of the things that I love about the movie, and I think Gina and especially Charlize's performance, carries is the melancholy of it. But to end the movie on this note that Nile brings. This grace note that is, I think, it's not a call to arms, but it is an affirmation of what we can do. It doesn't matter, it literally is-- take away their immortality, the message is the same. and I'll take that message right now, man, without hesitation.

Mimi: Yeah it's true, she made the choice to get into the fight and to, you know, back up her team, her new family basically is what it is and, um, I would be amiss if I didn't talk about my unbelievable love for Nicky! [pause] and Joe! I, oh my god, [fangirling intensifies] so I loved it as much in the comic, but seeing it on screen... There was just something very magical for me, especially, you know, the scene in the truck and Joe does his 'my boyfriend' speech. you know, I-- oh my gosh. I think I rewound and rewatched that part because it was just so beautiful and so perfectly executed and, um-- that relationship to me, is just that's what I need right now. Like I need to believe in love, and I need to see, um, the happy parts of the film.

Greg: Marwan killed that, but I gotta tell you, one of my favorite moments is the moment when they're in the lab and, uh, and Nicky being like, 'much as I like watching you sleep...' and just the warmth between them on that and, you know, 'I’ve been thinking about Malta' and 'which time in Malta' and--

[both, very cutely] 'Ah that time in Malta!'

Greg: Yeah and I just, you know, Luca and Marwan. I look-- the casting on the movie is superlative. I just --I cannot imagine how they could have cast better. But the genuine friendship between Luca and Marwan, behind the scenes. They were, you know, they were going out and drinking at night, and Leandro has a photo of the two of them, uh, between setups outside of the soundstage at Shepparton, and they're kicking a soccer ball back and forth! They just, you know, they just loved each other as people.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: You know what I mean? They were tight.

Mimi: Yeah yeah it translates! It really, it really translates on film. Like it's, you know, obviously maybe they're not like in love and like this couple, but you could see there's this chemistry, and they're friends, and there's a love for one another and, um, oh gosh it really translates. And so yeah-- I oh-- I just want to take Nicky home with me.

Greg: There is a shot-- it's one of the last--it's the last, I think, solo shot on Luca and it's the moment when he's looking at the sociogram, and he's just got his head cocked to the side... and it is... it's one of those things that you can only do in film, right, because it's --literally the camera, he is looking past the camera at this thing that the audience isn't seeing, and all it is him looking at it, and it's not like his he's doing facial calisthenics or anything.

Mimi: Right yeah

Greg: And I look at that shot and I just adore him-- and I can't even tell you-- I don't know if he was acting. It looks like acting to me!

Mimi: Right yeah Luca did such a spot on--

Greg: But that look in that moment. And me-- I just go-- like oh my god. He is so good.

Mimi: Yeah yeah.

Greg: He is so good.

Mimi: So let's talk a little bit about being on set because I know that you, uh, of course it's Stump Town but you weren't as involved in it the way that you were with this film being the screenwriter... um, you know, what was just kind of some memorable moments for you or what challenging moments even?

Greg: Challenging moments? Okay, um, this is gonna get me in trouble. I’ll tell you-- so I’ll tell you a couple of my favorite stories. Um, challenging was-- there were a lot of night shoots. And it was roughly, you know, I mean we're talking on the ninth, and I think I got back from England almost a year ago tomorrow, right. And I had been in England for about four or five weeks working on the film. And, a lot of those were night shoots on location. And that meant that you would, you know, end up going out during the day and you would have to wait until full dark in England, in summer. So there was literally shooting on the shortest night of the year, you had three and a half hours of darkness in which to shoot. And it gets a little bit of a grind.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: You know, you're out there, and you're tired, and it is late, and it is cold, and there are only so many, you know, Americanos you can get from craft services (?) [laughs] yeah, um, and that was... that was exhausting. Um, I will tell you the best day I had.

Mimi: Yes.

Greg: Um, and this is going to piss people off, if they ever hear this and they won't so. Um, Mark Evans is this wonderful wonderful man, who was the producer on the movie. He was the guy on the ground. And when I arrived there had been, um, I mean-- so the long and the short of it is this: I got fired from the project in January of 2019. They brought in another writer for about six to eight weeks, they fired that writer. They brought in another writer, uh, and at that point Gina was re-engaging me. And then I ended up, by the time I was back out there, I was rehired on the production. But in that interim of like two and a half, three months, there had been different scenes and variations on the script. And so when I arrived the draft was this Frankenstein thing that was some of my original stuff, and some of the stuff Gina had done, and some of the stuff the last writer had done, and then the stuff that I had been doing throughout May and into June before I got there. And we ended up, um, on this day and it was super hot, and it's the sequence when they are filming-- it's the sequence outside of Andy's mine. And it was the arrival at the mine and then it's the scene with Andy and Nile outside of the mine. And those were shot at a quarry, um, in or near... I want to say Sussex.

Mimi: Okay.

Greg: So it's about an hour and a half outside of London and it is already scorching hot as we're headed out there. And we all know it's going to be all day, because we're going to have to, um, set everything up to then shoot dusk as dawn, right?

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: So I'm staying at this hotel and they have a driver, you know, the driver was assigned to me and I forget his name-- he was lovely, it was this great guy, and these guys are all interesting anyway, like the set drivers-- there's a whole discussion to be had about these guys. This guy is terrific, and we're driving down and we're talking, because I like talking to these guys, and, you know, I'm not going to be able to write in the car because I'll throw up everywhere. And he tells me that, oh yeah, you know, his parents moved down here and this and that, and I knew going out that day that Mark and I were going to spend the day in a trailer trying to compile everything into one collective draft. And I already wasn't looking forward to that, because I’d be like 'I'm gonna be in a goddamn trailer all day doing that. I don't wanna...’ [grumbles]. But I said to him 'wait a minute you're from around here?' he says 'oh yeah, you know.'[pause] '...you know, any good pubs?' and he says, 'uh, I do, yeah, there's a great old pub I can think of' and I say 'okay'. So we get to the location, and we are in the middle of nowhere because it's a FUCKING quarry.

Mimi: Right.

Greg: And base camp where they put the trailers is literally a mile from where they're shooting.

Mimi: Okay

Greg: Right because you have to go up this hill and up these little roads to the quarry. It’s an old quarry. and I get there, and nobody's around, and one of the assistants says 'oh Mark's over there' and I go okay and I go to Mark's trailer and I knock on the door, and I open the door, and he's sitting there. And it's not glamorous. Understand these are not the movies star trailers, these are not airstream trailers, these are absolutely no frills-- like there-is-a-bathroom-and- two- tables trailers, right? There's nothing sexy about them. This is not--I know what people think of when they go oh 'you're in a [noises]'. No! This trailer-- I mean Charlize may have had a glorious trailer--

Mimi: Right, this was not Charlize's trailer

Greg: Yeah Kiki might have, you know, I don't know--

Mimi: This is more like a middle school trailer.

Greg: Exactly. The example is this is the kind of trailer that they bring to the elementary school when they've run out of classrooms, right

Mimi: Right.

Greg: Right and so Mark's sitting there. And he's-- and the thing about Mark is he's got so much energy, and he says 'Rucka!' and I say 'Mark! ...let's go to a pub.' and he goes '...can we do that?' and I say 'do we have to be here today to do this? There a reason you have to be here, in this trailer, to do this work?' and he goes '...let's go to a pub!'. So we find the driver, and I say to him-- I think his name was Steve-- and I say 'Steve, can you take us to that pub?' and he says 'yeah!'. So we get in the car-- and we drive, and it takes about 20 minutes, and about 15 minutes into the drive Evans is looking at me like 'this is not go-- I thought it was nearby'. And, you know, its like-- it is nearby, but these are little narrow roads --

Mimi: Right right.

Greg: --the driver had to orient... and we finally get to this place-- this beautiful old pub up on top of this hill--

Mimi: Wow.

Greg: --in Sussex, on the hottest day of the year so far, underneath these trees, at these benches-- and this is an old pub, like they closed at like two and didn't open again until five and we got there at like 1:30. So we got there, we get lunch, we get a plate, and we sit out there and we work until like 5:30-6. And about halfway into this Mark's like 'we're gonna get in so much trouble for doing this'. It’s my favorite day on this set right now. literally lo and behold by about the time five o'clock, six o'clock, rolls around he's starting to get calls from his assistant being like 'they want to know where you are'.

Mimi: Right. [jokingly] 'We’re working offset!'

Greg: And we did! We got it all compiled and then we drove back to location and-- we were there when they did the actual shooting and everything. But that was, and will probably be to the end of my days, one of my most favorite film experiences, which is the part of making the movie where we got to go 'we get to go do this now'

Mimi: Yeah yeah.

Greg: You know, and that was, it was a treat. I loved it.

Mimi: I love that, yeah. And it's so great because you needed some creativity. Like a trailer just doesn't do it, so I thought that made it a lot of sense. How much fun, though, because I often hear that when people are filming in different places, you don't get to explore in the way that you would like to. So it's nice that you kind of were able to take a mini break. A one day break.

Greg: But it really was --and I do kind of mean it-- was a present.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: I have photos from time on set, and there's a shot... the house that was used for Merrick’s apartment, is called the jura house, and it's apparently owned by some Russian oligarch, and it's a very shi-shi, fancy, you know, 800-architectural-awards house.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: And I have a photo of Evans and me-- I think Leo took it --and we're literally sitting on the floor, in the basement, which is where all the monitors were set up, as they're filming upstairs... backs to the wall, each of us with our laptops on our knees, each of us using these, uh, rifle bags that have been doubled and tripled over as pillows. And that's the experience on The Old Guard. It’s literally [?? I’m not sure what he said, ‘doing our best’ maybe ??] and, um, yeah, so yeah. It is a remarkable-- and you know this, you made a movie-- it's a remarkable amount of hard work. You come out of the experience going-- and I’ve said this before-- once you are involved in the making of a movie, you can never walk away going 'god how do they manage to make such a bad movie?' The question is always 'how did they manage to make a movie?'

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: The mere act of forcing this kind of bizarre storytelling into creation... is it's staggering. It defies any realm of logic... the precision required, the commitment required, the attention required, to create something that's going to exist on somebody's eyeballs for a second or two or three. Shot by shot. You know, um, it's insane.

Mimi: Yeah it is, yeah and there's so many moving parts, you know, and you're such a huge part of this one and so I'm so excited to see how well it came together. and it-- from what you could see, because you were saying 'oh, you know, everybody was close on set they were playing soccer and all these things' and it's like, you can see that it's a film that has, you know, cohesion. like it's very well put together, like you could feel that everything was in its place, like I could see you got along with Gina, I could see that, you know, you could see each part was where it needed to be, because seeing sets that fall apart-- and you-- it isn't a question of how movies fall apart and they don't, you know, go from one process to another, there's no, um, you know, synergy between the people working. But it really really did come together and I'm super super excited for you, and excited for the sequel! My my only thing--

Greg: Potential! [sequel]

Mimi: Potential! Oh I think I think that, uh, viewers are going to want more. like I said, it's a film that we do need right now and I think it's a refreshing, uh, type of thing where we can kind of just take a moment away and be lost in a film. I think that's a gift, because I find that that doesn't happen as often as I'd like it to these days! Uh, but, um, but yeah the casting, everything was beautiful, and I'm so happy for you, as a writer but also as a filmmaker now. My only quarry, my only disappointment is I was not around to, um --especially since there could be a sequel-- to at least audition for Qynh because I know there's some awesome sword work that could be coming in the future! And I'm so like-- but I'm super excited because Veronica, you know, the little we did get to see of her, she did a fabulous job! But I was like 'man I would have liked to throw my hat in for that one'. [laughs]

Greg: Gotta talk to your agent!

Mimi: I know!

Greg: I didn't have anything to do with casting!

Mimi: I know, I know, I know. No, but it's super exciting to see kind of that how it all comes together. Especially reading it, right, because of course like I said, I've read the rest of the comic. I know the new one just dropped!

Greg: Yeah, issue five will be out next week.

Mimi: That's very exciting! So yes so, uh, listeners go ahead and grab that! Get the whole thing though, so you could see it from beginning to end! Because, uh, it does kind of complement seeing the movie, you know, it complements it. You get that backstory, you kind of get the feeling for the characters in a different way, and like you said they're different mediums. Um, but both really amazing stories, and a lot of fun to, um, to be a part of. And to experience so super exciting [they both make weird excited noises] so, uh, hopefully we'll talk again next week, I know you have been going crazy with all these interviews but, um, everybody go and watch The Old Guard right now! Because it is available, you can turn on your Netflix and you don't have to wait, it's right there!

Greg: Right there!

Mimi: Right there for you!

Greg: In fact you won't even have to search for it!

Mimi: No, it's gonna be number one!

Greg: It's gonna shove it in your face!

Mimi: Yeah it'll be recommended for you, and, um, I also, uh, you know, as a filmmaker. I know that you guys don't need as big of a push because it's Netflix and all but, you know, give it a little rating! Go on to imdb and give it some love. Um, because why not? [laughs] Alright Greg, I don't want to take up much more of your time, I think you need to unwind and enjoy this. Congratulations on your film and, uh, we're super excited for it!

Greg: Thank you Mimi!

Mimi: That's all for today's episode! Thanks for listening to culture chat and hope you enjoyed the conversation.

#it was completely random whether i included the 'um's tbh #also warning greg goes on a Political Rant in the middle so if that kind of thing bothers you: there it is

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drethanramslay · 4 years

Text

Part 4: Fight or flight

Pairing: Aurora x MC (Iris Everette)

Word count: 3.2 K words

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Warning: Fluff and a little description of abuse

Taglist: @miyakokurono @agent-breakdance @trappedinfandoms @lilyofchoices @sekizincimektup (let me know if you want to be tagged)

Songs: Emergency by Jay Sean and Clean by Taylor Swift

It had been a week since their fight in the supply closet and Aurora was in a flux of emotions. On one hand, she wanted her baby girl back in her arms and kiss her till the end of time. But, on the other hand, she was just so fucking pissed.

Iris had not come home to the apartment for a week. She stayed, showered and ate at the hospital. Aurora kept true to her promise and gave Iris her space, but that didn't mean it hurt less. The seventh day after the fight, Aurora was distraught.

She had headed to Sienna's room that night and one look at her face and Sienna declared that it was the "eat ice cream till you are sick" time. They saw so many cliche rom-coms and crying which resulted in Elijah wheeling into their room to see if both of them were okay. "Oh my god... Rom-coms really?! They are shit."

"No Eli, they are the shit." Sienna corrected him.

"Get in or get out Eli." Aurora said as she sniffled.

"Geez okay I will join you two to see how can girls cry to such cliche storylines."

Nonetheless, the three of them started crying towards the ending of Titanic.

"Rose is such a dumbass.. Like how COULD YOU LET SUCH A NATIONAL TREASURE DIE?!" Elijah screamed at the TV.

"Yo...I think we broke him." Aurora said as Elijah continued to cry.

"Nah... He will be fine. But what about you?" Sienna asked as she turned towards Aurora.

"Everything sucks."

"Big mood." Elijah chimed in.

"It's just...it feels like I am in a waiting room." Aurora sighed. Sienna sent a questioning gaze towards Aurora.

"It's like... Iris continuously hints about her past. I like her so much....I really do but, she just won't let me cherish her completely. She won't let me in.. She has just put me in that space where I know more that the anybody else but less to know her completely. I know I shouldn't complain, but..... I hate seeing her in so much pain and I want to erase the sufferings. I was to kiss her troubles away. I want to tell her that I am all in, that I will be with her, through thick and thin... But, she still holds me at an arms distance." Aurora sighed, as the pain resurfaced.

"Aww honey...." Sienna reached and hugged her. Aurora shuddered and the need to cry just became so overwhelming.

"I have known Iris for a year and half and let me tell you, she has changed. She laughs more, jokes more and smiles more. She was a withered bud but when you came into her life, she bloomed into a beautiful rose. Iris... had never had many people she could be herself around or count on. I think her mother was the last person who she truly was the real version of Iris, but after that, nobody. So she grew thorns, so that nobody can hurt her again. She had accepted the fact that she was going to be a alone forever. But then, you came. You transformed her. It's a damn great accomplishment if you ask me." Sienna said.

Aurora blew a raspberry. "Trust me I know that. And I am proud of her for slowly opening up. She is self sufficient, independent and so so strong...but she doesn't need to carry that burden alone. I want to share everything. The happiness, the sadness, the beautiful and the ugly. She deserves so much more..."

"I know Aurora I know... I spoke to her a couple of days ago."

"What happened?" Aurora asked, hoping that she didn't sound too pussy whipped.

Stop lying to yourself... You ARE pussy whipped.

"She looks like she got hit by a train. She had dark circles large enough to carry groceries, she zones out sometimes and she is really, really paranoid. Like the other day, Bryce just went to close her eyes, so that he could surprise her. She fucking grabbed his hands and had him on his ass in a blink of an eye!!"

"What?!" Aurora was shocked. This was certainly a new development. She thought to herself.

"I am not joking. Luckily everything is fine but damn, Queen B has some nasty bruises on his wrist."

"Shit." Maybe, just maybe there was something else affecting her and the 'break' was just the cherry on top.

Fuck I am such a selfish bitch..

"Don't." Sienna said before Aurora threw herself into the pit of self loathing.

"Huh?"

"Don't feel guilty. Don't beat yourself. You need to understand that you are pushing her to be a better person, a better friend, a better partner. You are constantly challenging and calling her out. And I believe, that the kind of love you both have, it can survive any storm."

"Love?!" Aurora asked, her eyes as wide as saucers.

"Duh! Everybody can see it that the both of you are completely and utterly in love. Everybody, but the two of you."

"Do you think its true?" Aurora asked, trying to wrap her mind around this concept.

Sienna rolled her eyes before muttering, "Gods, for two smart people with their IQ's above 120, you guys are hella dense."

Aurora looked down at her hands, deep in thought. She was never familiar with the concept of this kind of love. Sure, she 'loved' her parents and family, but love another human being? That to romantically? Never.

She was of a scientific background and she always brushed aside the concept of love. Earlier if you would have asked her ‘what was love?’��she would have said that it was just a rush of oxytocin. Just a flux of chemicals. But now, if she were to close her eyes and think about it, forest green eyes stared right back at her.

"Holy shit." Aurora breathed out.

"God finally EEEEEEE!! One down, one more to go. Just know, I am rooting for the both of you." Sienna said as she squeezed her hand.

"Also can you like hurry up and make up? I might end up losing fifty dollars to Bryce." Elijah chimed in.

"This guys have been BETTING on when we make up?!" Aurora asked in disbelief.

"Eli, SHH!" Sienna smacked him, bullshiting back and forth. But Aurora didn't pay attention to that.

She was in love.

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Iris stepped to the back of the empty elevator and leaned against the wall, sighing. This week had been shit for her. Her girlfriend had called for a timeout, her asshole of a father was walking free on the streets, she had a panic attack, and she lost a patient.

She hated being so paranoid. She hated having to look over her shoulder every minute. She felt so guilty for hurting Bryce, and she profusely apologized by buying him his favourite tacos.

She shouldn't have to stay in such fear. Hadn't she suffered enough? Hadn't she lost enough already? Is her life nothing but a game for the man upstairs?

Being of a scientific bent of mind, the laws of her world were bound by logic and proof. She never really believed in the existence of God. But at moments of weakness, like now, she couldn't help but wonder who is responsible for fucking her life up.

The lift dinged, and she opened her eyes to see which floor it had opened on. But what she saw, made her eyes open wide.

Rory met her eyes and then looked down as she stepped into the lift. She pressed the button for the fourth floor where Iris was also heading.

"By the way, chief said that there is a storm incoming. He wanted everyone to be prepared incase of an emergency." Iris spoke up, cutting through the uncomfortable silence.

"Yeah...my aunt told me that. It also explains why they sent Dr. Ramsey and a couple of electricians to check on the backup generators."

Iris chuckled. "Yap. You should have seen the way he was grumbling and muttering quote unquote- 'God I hate that place...it gives me the heebie jeebies'."

"What?! No way!" She turned around to look at Iris, instantly regretting it. Iris looked like shit. Her eyes were bloodshot and she was so tired that she had to lean against the wall of the elevator for support.

"If you don't believe it, I can ask Baz to send the video to you. Chief had a kick out of it."

Aurora giggled. "Okay, send it to me Adara."

Iris winced and Rory turned towards the elevator doors, the awkward silence settling in. It was slowly suffocating her. She thought that the deafening silence would continue indefinitely, but Aurora spoke up.

"I just...I miss you."

Iris looked up to see the back of Rory's head.

"I miss you too Rory..."

Aurora's heart soared and shattered at the same time. God she missed that nickname so much.

"Adara... Please. Just...please."

Iris shuddered. Just a simple plea, but it held so much meaning. She walked ahead and stood next to her. Aurora found herself leaning towards her, missing the warmth and comfort Iris gave her.

"Rory, I am so sorry... But I can't. It was never my intention to hurt you. You deserve someone strong and willing to be by your side... I am not that. My emotional burden will drown you."

"Adara, I will be the judge of that. If you just-"

"Baby, I care about you alot. And, I don't want you to get hurt... Just know that I am so damn lucky to have had you... for those seven months, I am so, so greatful." She proceeded to kiss Aurora's cheek, before exiting the lift.

Aurora was stunned. She reached to feel the place where Iris kissed her.

She couldn't help but wonder why Iris's words sounded like a final goodbye.

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Everything was okay. There weren't any accidents so far and the electricity was still running. Iris sat in the diagnostics room staring at the window, watching the rain drops pelt mercilessly on the glass window and the trees dancing to the tune of the gale.

She always found the rain soothing. It helped her escape. She could spend hours looking at the rain drops, racing each other to the bottom of the window. Her mom used to make hot chocolate for her on such rainy days. They would cuddle on the sofa, and have endless movie marathons. It's one of the happy memories she remembered from her past.

She always cherished those moments with her mom. Life at home may have been hell, but her mother's spirit did not once break. She was so strong and brave. She was kind and loved with all her heart. Iris always wondered if she would ever be half the woman her mom was or the fact that would her mother be proud of the way Iris turned out to be.

Guess we will never know.

Her pager beeped and she looked down to see what it said. 'Report to the nurses station on the fourth floor. Your lawyer is here.'

Huh, that's strange. Thomas said that he won't come till next week..

Shrugging off her doubts she started heading to the fourth floor. She walked down the long, empty hallway whistling. It was just a front but deep down, she had a feeling that she was being watched. She turned to look behind but there was no one following her.

You are just being paranoid Iris...

But isn't it better to be safe than sorry?

She turned the corner and she collided with someone.

"Oh, I am so sorry-" Iris said as she backed a little and straightened her scrubs. She then looked up and she was completely frozen. She felt as if she was sucker punched in the gut. All the breath left her body.

He was here.

"Oh no its my- Oh." A cruel smile slowly etched into his face. He had aged, which was pretty obvious but prison made him look rugged with white hair peppering his balding head and his eyes looked more maniacal.

"Hello mija."

She had dreamt their encounter many times before. How she would punch the fuck out of his face, and break his left wrist, the way he used to break hers. She would beat him up so hard that he would end up in the emergency room. Those imaginations were so graphic, that she could taste the blood of that monster on the tip of her tongue.

But, at the end of the day it was only fantasy. Dreams are those tantalizing flames, which help keep the fire in us alive, while reality on the other hand, is a bucket of cold water, smothering those flames.

She just stood there in shock. It felt as if her head had been dunked into water. She saw his lips move and the people walking around them, but she couldn't hear a thing. Her breath was getting shorter and shorter. She felt weak. Pathetic. Just like the sixteen year old who lay there on the floor, awaiting her death.

No, no, no, I can't go into a panic attack right now.

"IRIS!!" Grayson shook her shoulders. "NO! Get the fuck away from me asshole!" Iris said as she tried to push him away. She felt like a bucket of maggots had been poured inside her shirt. She felt dirty, filthy and gross.

"Iris what has come over you sweetheart? You weren't like this before.." Grayson said, his face morphed into fake concern but she could see the anger and the bloodlust shining in his hazel eyes.

"Don't TOUCH ME!!" She exclaimed as she finally got him to take his grubby hands off her. And he had the audacity to act hurt. This bitch should get a fucking award for his acting.

"Hey, hey, hey." Ethan stepped between the father and daughter. "Sir, I will have to ask you to back away right this instance." Ethan said, in a voice so cold, that it could have withered a blooming flower.

Grayson held his"There is nothing going around here son. Just a father and daughter reconnecting after a decade. Ain't that mija?"

"Don't listen to him. He is a world class manipulator and a habitual liar. Get him the fuck out of here." Iris spat out, her voice poisonous.

Ethan turned to look at her, his eyes asking if this was the man who she had a restraining order against. Iris nodded subtly.

"I'm sorry sir, but you are causing a scene in a hospital, where people are sick and they need the quiet."

"No problem so- what's your name?"

Don't tell him, don't tell him, don't-

"Dr. Ethan Ramsey."

GODDAMMIT ETHAN. Just can't keep his fucking trap shut. She knew, that he would come for Ethan.

"Well Ethan, I don't mean to cause any problems. I am just here to take my girlie for a coffee.. have a chat." He smiled in a friendly way but, everybody knows that the term 'chat' means thrashing.

"I SAID NO. I don't want anything to do with you asswipe."

"How dare you-" Grayson's face twisted into a furious scowl. Iris just cowered behind Ethan.

"Sir, with all due respect, leave." Ethan said as two security guards started moving towards them.

"Alright, alright. There is no need to be so aggressive. I am nothing but a old man. What would I do? Beat up someone?" The last question directed towards Iris, his eyes gleaming. A chill went down her back, out of intense fear.

"I will meet you soon mija... And when we will.... we will have all the time in the world to catch up."

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Running.

Iris ran down the hallway, to a place where she could have some damn peace and quiet, which is kind of hard in a hospital crawling with patients, doctors and the grim reaper.

Her breath was getting frantic, and the need to breakdown was increasing with every step she took.

Get a hold of yourself Iris. It's just a little longer. You don't need to be a mess in front of him. You don't need him to have that power over you. Iris repeated that as a mantra as she half walked, half ran down the never-ending hallway, away from her haunting past.

She was just crossing the nurses' station where, Aurora stood, reading through her charts.

God, please don't notice me. I don't have it in me to face another heartbreak. Iris prayed.

A few nurses greeted her, and Iris nodded and smiled politely before her eyes landed on Aurora's cool, calculating ones. She quickly averted her eyes away, so that she would not betray the inner turmoil in her.

But, Aurora knew. Iris had that look in her eyes as if she would shatter like a porcelain vase. So, she shut her chart and followed the red head.

Iris had reached the lift, pressing the button continuosly, so that it could hurry the hell up. After what seemed like an eternity, it finally came and she stepped into the elevator. She pressed the button leading her to the basement.

There is a old on call room which is pretty faraway from the hospital's main rooms. So even if she broke things, screamed and howled, nobody would know.

She saw the doors closing and she let out a tired breath when Aurora nimbly slipped into the lift.

Can't I catch a fucking break?

"What happened, Iris? Seems like you saw a ghost. You look hella pale." Aurora asked as she leaned in the wall across Iris.

Iris grimaced. If only she knew that she was not very faraway from the truth.

"Nothing." She said as she looked down at the floor.

"I know it's not nothing, Adara." Aurora said quietly. Iris' eyes snapped up.

"Aurora please. Just let me be." Iris pleaded, looking up at the screen showing that she had just reached the second floor.

"Don't fucking lie to me.Something is going on, I can see it in your eyes." Aurora said as she stepped and stood before her.

She placed her hands on her cheeks, forcing her green eyes to meet with her dark brown ones. "Please tell me Adara. Please let me in. Please don't shut me out this time."

"Aurora....I don't want to hurt you. I am cursed. Don't waste tears on a dead woma-" She said as tears filled her eyes.

The lift shuddered to a stop. And it was dark for a moment before the emergency lights switched on. She turned towards Aurora, who was slowly realizing the situation they were stuck in.

The lift was stuck and so were the both of them. And this time, there was no escaping for Iris.

I had to type and retype this so many times because it just didn't feel perfect..

Anyways, the next chapter will be the finale and after that will be the epilogue. I am so excited ;)

like and reblog :)) let me know what you think

#choices #choices oh #choices stories you play #playchoices #choices stories we play #pixelberry #open heart #open heart mc #open heart 2 #ohsy #open heart fanfiction #aurora emery #aurora x mc #oh aurora

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idiot-cheesehead-archenemy · 4 years

Text

Resistance

My truce gift for @kinglazrus! They asked for Electric Core AU and Clockwork Teaching/Training Danny, which seemed to go together pretty well so I used both. (They also asked for Danny in College but I have no idea what being in an American college is like so … he’s in high school.) Hope you enjoy!

CW for transphobic bullying

Summary:

Danny struggles to control his new electricity powers, among other things.

Word count: 9069

Also on AO3

Danny took a deep breath and raised his hand. Slowly, he reached forward, his entire body tense. He knew what was going to happen, but he tried nevertheless to hold on. Inch by inch his hand grew closer to the object in front of him. He wasn’t breathing now. Finally, he made contact, a single fingertip touching the cold metal. All at once he felt the rush of energy leaving his body, and he swore loudly.

“This isn’t working,” Danny said, turning back to Clockwork.

“You knew this would take time, Danny. Don’t give up yet.”

“I’m not giving up, I’m just being realistic. Whatever I’m doing, it’s not working. We’re just wasting …” Danny remembered where he was and shook his head. “Whatever, you know what I mean.”

“I know this is frustrating for you, but if you keep practicing, I’m sure you’ll -”

“Stop saying that!” For a second, Danny’s entire body was alive with energy. The brightness of the glow and the loudness of the buzzing, whining tone were unpleasant, but those sensations paled in comparison to the fire that raced through his veins and over his skin. As soon as he realized what was happening, Danny’s eyes widened, and he placed his hand on the metal pole beside him to discharge the energy. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, “I didn’t mean -”

“It’s alright.” Clockwork hadn’t reacted in the slightest, of course. It would take a lot to phase someone who could see the whole of time. Danny sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“It’s just that I don’t think the problem is that I’m not trying hard enough. I think I’m just trying to do the impossible by changing the way electricity behaves. I’m fighting against the laws of physics, here.” Clockwork raised an eyebrow but made no comment. Danny rolled his eyes. “Ok, yes, I know ghosts have a … looser relationship with physics in general, but, evidently, electrons still flow from negatively charged substances -” he gestured at himself “- to positively charged ones -” he gestured to the metal pole. “And I can’t change that. It’s not like my ecto-energy where I can control what it does.”

“No, the electricity isn’t like your ecto-energy,” Clockwork said, “it is your ecto-energy. It is one of the forms your energy can take.”

“But it’s not ecto-energy, right? It’s electricity. As in, moving electrons. I can’t control electrons.”

“No? Why not?”

“Because … I don’t know. I just can’t.”

“You have an electricity core, Danny. Controlling electrons is precisely what your core allows you to do.”

“If that’s true, then why doesn’t the electricity do what I want?”

“It does.” Clockwork saw that Danny was about to object and raised a hand. “Or, at least, it does what you expect it to do. It’s following instructions that you’ve subconsciously given it. You need to acknowledge that you have control so that you can consciously issue different commands.” Danny huffed.

“Listen, Clockwork, it’s not that I don’t believe you. You are, by all accounts, the expert here. But, I don’t know, maybe there’s something wrong with me. I’ve been trying, and I’m telling you that I can’t control this.”

“You already do.” Clockwork gestured toward Danny, who looked down at himself and saw that his hairs were standing on end. Of course they were, because he was getting upset again, which meant his body was building up a charge again. He wondered idly whether he took on a negative charge with negative emotions and a positive charge with positive emotions. Probably not, he decided. Somehow he suspected that it was always negative.

“Ok, so I can, what, summon electricity? Or turn my ecto-energy into electricity? I don’t know what this proves.”

Clockwork sighed. “No, I suppose you don’t. I think we can call it for today. Please think about what I’ve said. Once you accept that you are in control, everything will be so much easier. But you have to truly believe it.”

“You sound like a fortune cookie. Are you still talking about my powers or is this just general life advice?” Danny was being sarcastic, but Clockwork just smiled warmly and said,

“Perhaps it’s both.”

***

Danny wasn’t listening to the teacher. He had been earlier, he was pretty sure. She’d been talking about Ulysses S. Grant, but then he’d tried to remember where he’d heard the name Ulysses before. He thought it was someone in Greek mythology, but, no, that was Odysseus. Was Ulysses short for Odysseus? Did ancient Greek people even have nicknames? Then he’d realized that he wasn’t paying attention so he tried to pay attention again, but now he was just thinking about how he hadn’t been paying attention and he’d probably missed something important and this kept happening and he wasn’t sure why because he’d been getting more sleep lately because the local ghost activity was way down and he didn’t feel like he needed to be out patrolling every night and he kind of wondered whether Clockwork had anything to do with that but he didn’t dare say anything because if Clockwork was somehow responsible then he was definitely breaking some rules and it was probably best to keep quiet about it just in case and if he wasn’t responsible then he would probably be offended by the implication so it was best not to say anything regardless and Danny still wasn’t paying attention so he tried to focus on what the teacher was saying but for some reason the words just slid past him and it almost seemed like the harder he tried to focus the less it worked because he was just thinking about whether or not he was paying attention and noticing that he wasn’t and then thinking about how important it was that he pay attention because he knew he wasn’t going to go over this again outside of class and even if he did it would be more difficult to learn from a book than from the teacher so this was the best time to learn the material which he could only do if he stopped tuning out and thinking about other things which really shouldn’t be that hard.

Science was easier. They all went to a computer lab and spent the period playing what could generously be called a game. It involved breaking apart molecules and building new ones to mimic what happened during chemical reactions. It wasn’t the most interesting stuff, but it didn’t demand too much mental exertion, and when he made a mistake he just got a message telling him to try again. Plus, the teacher couldn’t watch the whole class at once, which gave him the opportunity to check the local news for potential ghost activity. He didn’t expect any, and there wasn’t any, as far as he could tell, but it never hurt to be too aware. Well, it probably did, but he wasn’t worried about it, anyway. While Danny was looking at the news, another student got sent to the principal’s office for going to a website that should really have been blocked on the school internet. Danny went back to building molecules until the bell rang for lunch.

Danny bought some quote-meatloaf-unquote and a soda and went to his usual spot. Sam was already there, eating a vegetarian dish she’d brought from home with her own biodegradable cutlery. He smiled when he sat down and asked Sam how she was. Pretty good, apparently; she was getting a think piece published in an online paper about local environmental issues. Danny told Sam that he was happy for her, and so did Tucker when he joined them. Then Tucker turned to Danny and asked,

“How’s your training going? Can you shoot lightning bolts out of your eyes yet?” Danny’s smile dropped a bit. Sam tutted.

“Dude, could you lay on the pressure a little thicker? I think Danny is feeling too good about himself.” Tucker seemed to notice Danny’s expression, then, and he smiled sheepishly.

“Oh, uh, I meant, ‘how’s your training going? It’s totally ok if you haven’t gotten the hang of your electricity powers yet.’” Danny laughed weakly.

“Don’t worry about it, man. Yeah, no gains yet, but it’s …” Mentally and emotionally draining? “It’s just a slow process, I guess. Right now it seems like all I can do is build up a really strong static charge and then discharge it as soon as I’m grounded. If I could hold on to the energy and release it on-command that could be useful, so that’s kind of what I’m working on.” Sam was nodding.

“That’s definitely something, Danny. Even if you can only use it in close-combat, a strong enough jolt could knock a lot of people out in one shot.”

“Not that we know exactly how a ghost will respond to it,” Tucker added. “Ghosts might not be that susceptible to electricity, and even if they are, some ghosts are probably resistant, especially if they have an electric core, too, so …” Danny and Sam were both looking at him with slightly confused expressions. “What? I’m just saying, there’s no pressure. Whatever happens with your powers, we all need to make sure we stay sharp. Always have a backup plan and such.”

“Yeah,” Danny said, “that’s true.” You probably shouldn’t rely on me. “I probably shouldn’t put so much pressure on myself.” He started cutting up the ambiguous-meat-based loaf on his plate with a plastic fork. “It would be nice to shoot lightning bolts, though,” he said wistfully. There was a slightly awkward silence before Sam said,

“Did you guys hear they’re remaking The Bride of Death?” Danny and Tucker both groaned.

“Of all of Karlos Harstin’s classic horror movies,” Tucker said, “that’s the one that needs a remake? Really?” Danny shook his head.

“Why are they remaking all these sixties flicks, anyway? Who is asking for these?”

“I don’t know,” Sam said with a shrug. “I think they could do it well. Give the bride more agency, for one thing. I mean, the movie is named after her and what does she do in the original? Nothing; she’s a sexy lamp. I, for one, am looking forward to a more modern take.”

“But why not just make a modern movie?” Danny asked. “Why not have a new character and a new story and actually do something inventive?”

“Because they need to sell tickets.” Tucker nodded.

“It’s always about money.”

“Capitalism ruins everything,” Danny said with a scowl. Sam smirked.

“Are you just figuring that out now?”

Tucker started to ask, “So, who’s directing -” but then he apparently noticed something behind Danny’s head and frowned. Danny followed Tucker’s gaze and realized what he was looking at just as Tucker was saying, “Ugh, Dash alert.” Danny quickly turned around, hoping Dash hadn’t noticed him, but it was clear he and Kwan were already walking toward them.

“Don’t engage,” Sam whispered. Danny nodded slightly, focusing on his food as he heard two sets of footsteps approach and then stop right behind him.

“Aww, Kwan, look - it always warms my heart to see the losers huddling together for warmth in this cold uncaring world. It’s so sweet that you guys think that being friends with each other will make it any less likely that you’ll all die alone in a ditch.”

“Well, probably not Sam, because her family has a lot of money,” Kwan said.

“I guess that’s true. Is that why you guys hang out with this goth freak? Is she paying you to be her friends?” Danny saw Sam rolling her eyes, and he smiled. “I bet she pays you to do all sorts of things. Tell me, do you guys both fuck her at once or do you take turns?” The trio all kept their eyes down. “That embarrassing, huh? She must be into the really weird shit.”

Danny felt the weight of a hand on his shoulder, but he kept still. “Come on, Fenton, give us the deets.” After another few seconds of silence, Dash knocked on the top of Danny’s head. “Hey, we’re talking to you, Fentina.”

Danny tensed. Immediately, Tucker was saying,

“Whoa! Not cool, dude,” while Sam said,

“Uh, transphobic much?”

Danny was glad his friends were there to defend him, but in this exact moment he wished they had just stayed quiet. He really didn’t want to make a scene. He tried to subtly shake his head, but they were both focused on Dash.

“What did you just call me?” Dash’s voice was quiet, and it sounded like he was giving them a chance to back down. Danny shook his head more insistently. Sam opened her mouth to answer, but then looked at Danny, who was silently pleading with her to drop it. She huffed and then looked back at Dash.

“I said, just leave us alone, Dash. Go eat your lunch.” Danny held his breath during the silence that followed. Finally, Dash scoffed.

“Fine, but not because you told me to.” Danny rolled his eyes even as he let out a sigh of relief. Dash and Kwan both walked past the table. Kwan stopped for a second and let Dash get ahead before turning and quietly saying,

“Sorry, Danny.” Then he caught up with Dash as they made their way to the cool kid’s table. The trio all watched them go, and once they were out of earshot, Sam started angrily stabbing at her salad with her fork.

“Ugh, I wish I could just … ugh!” Her knuckles were white. “He shouldn’t be able to get away with saying whatever he wants.” Tucker was looking at Danny.

“You ok, man?” Danny took an unsteady breath instead of answering. Now that Dash wasn’t breathing down his neck, the cold fear that had filled him a few seconds ago was quickly being replaced with a hot anger that had his skin tingling and his hair standing on end. He was gripping his fork at least as tightly as Sam was gripping hers, which he realized when the thin plastic snapped in his fist. He reflexively turned his hand intangible before the sharp edges could cut him. Sam was looking at him, too, now, with a concerned expression that matched Tucker’s. With some effort, Danny smiled.

“Yeah, I’m good. I mean, who cares what Dash says? He’s Dash. Fuck that guy, right?” Danny idly picked up half of the broken fork and turned it over in his hands. “He’s gonna peak when he’s twenty-four and I’m gonna … go to space or something. Change the face of astrophysics. I don’t know. I’ll have a good half a century when I’m living my best life and he’s desperately trying to fill the void with food and sex. So he can have his fun now.”

Danny realized that Sam and Tucker were staring at his hands. He looked down and saw that the plastic fork was blackened and partially melted. He looked back at Sam and Tucker, who’s expressions were both now somewhere between concern and fear. Sam was the first to speak.

“I appreciate destructive post-modern art as much as the next girl, but maybe there’s a better time and place?”

“Yeah, dude,” Tucker added. “I get it, but what if someone saw?” He punctuated this by looking around to the other tables, none of whom were apparently interested in the trio.

“Right, yeah, I’m …” Danny felt like he should apologize, but he wasn’t sure what to apologize for. He sighed and picked up the other half of the broken fork before standing up. “I’m gonna get a new fork.” Sam and Tucker glanced at one another, but said nothing as Danny walked away.

***

Danny was staring out his bedroom window and trying not to think about anything when heard a quiet knock.

“Yeah?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Danny saw Jazz open the door and poke her head in. He was sitting in the middle of his bed with his arms wrapped around his knees. Jazz stepped slowly into the room.

“How are you doing, little brother?” Danny continued staring out his window for a moment before looking at her.

“Well, I’m afraid to touch my phone, my computer, or my playstation, so, uh. Bored.” She made a face that Danny recognized as a combination of disappointment and concern. Everybody seemed to be concerned lately. Danny didn’t like that, but he had to admit, even if only to himself, that they had good reasons.

“Have you tried reading a book? Maybe doing some homework?”

“I …” He had, in fact, but he couldn’t really focus on it. He kept getting up to do other things, or he would just stare at the page and not do anything. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to do it - he didn’t, but that wasn’t the issue. He just couldn’t get into the right frame of mind to sit down and work. Normally, he did his homework either late at night or in the morning before school, since he spent most of his time ghost hunting. As a result, he was usually too tired to get distracted. With the recent lack of ghost activity, he actually had time to do homework after school, but he couldn’t take advantage of the time because he apparently was incapable of doing any work during the day.

He wondered, not for the first time, whether Jazz’s psychology obsession might actually be able to help him. He certainly felt messed up enough. Not that he would ever tell her as much; it wouldn’t be fair to put that on her. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ll get started on my homework.”

“That’s good. And don’t get too worried about your powers, ok? You dealt with all of your ghost powers coming in at once somehow, so I’m sure you can handle all this new electricity stuff.” Danny nodded and didn’t say that he was well aware of that and it made him feel like an idiot that he was struggling so much with something he would have been able to handle easily a year and a half ago. “Actually,” Jazz said, “about your powers …” Danny tilted his head to the side as Jazz averted her gaze. “Uhm, it’s not a big deal, but I found scorch marks around the outlet by the kitchen table. I’m guessing that was you?” It was Danny’s turn to look away sheepishly. He nodded.

He’d been planning to do homework in the kitchen, so he’d brought his computer and charger down. When he plugged the charger into the wall, it started sparking and burning. Thank goodness the other end hadn’t been plugged into his computer. With his hands carefully covered by a dish towel, Danny had removed the charger - now probably ruined - and quickly brought it and his computer back into his room. He hadn’t even thought about the damage to the wall.

“Ok, like I said, not a big deal, I get it, but, if it happens again, can you clean the scorch marks off? If mom and dad see that, they’ll want to know what happened, and, you know. There’s no easy explanation.” Danny nodded again.

“Yeah, sorry, will do.”

“Ok, thanks. The outlet still works, by the way, so we’re good there.” She stepped back into the hall. Before closing the door she added, “And good luck with your homework. Let me know if I can help.” Danny smiled.

“Yeah, thanks.” Jazz smiled back as she closed the door. Danny sighed and looked over at his desk where his math textbook was still sitting open.

***

“No, I haven’t made any progress,” Danny said as he crossed his arms. “I don’t even know what progress would look like. Apparently all I need to do to control my powers is believe harder, and that doesn’t seem like something I can practice. What do you want me to do? Believe six impossible things before breakfast?”

“It was merely a question.” Danny scoffed.

“A question you already knew the answer to, because you know everything.”

“Yes.” Danny rolled his eyes. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t …” Danny glared at the floor. “I mean, it’s a lot of things, I don’t know. I feel like you’re putting a lot on me, but also, like, these powers are ruining my life because I basically can’t touch things anymore. I keep melting things or setting them on fire when I’m not careful. So that’s kind of a lot. And I’m definitely freaking out my friends and Jazz but I have no idea what to do to make them think I’m ok because, you know, I’m really not, but it’s not something they can help with. And I’m stressed about school. And I still have to deal with any ghosts that try to start shit in Amity. And Dash all but misgendered me at lunch the other day and I really want to just kick his teeth in which I know is bad but it doesn’t even matter because I can’t because if I tried anything I’d probably end up electrocuting him.” Danny looked back up at Clockwork, who’s expression had softened.

“I’m sorry. Of course you’re going through a lot right now. You know I can’t interfere, but I do care, and I am here for you. If you want to talk …” Danny shook his head.

“I don’t really think talking helps.” Clockwork hesitated for a few moments, but at last he nodded.

“Very well. Let’s focus on getting control of your electricity powers, then. The last thing anyone wants is for you to hurt somebody.” Danny chuckled.

“Can’t have me turning evil, right? The Observants would probably dock your pay for that.” Clockwork smiled.

“I find your consistent misunderstanding of my relationship with the Observants endlessly entertaining.”

“That’s good, because I have no intention of learning.” Danny was very aware of the fact that Clockwork hadn’t dismissed his comment about turning evil. He tried not to read into that. Clockwork gestured forward.

“Shall we?”

They flew to the ‘training room’ Clockwork had put together two weeks ago when Danny had first asked him to help with his new electricity powers. It was basically just an empty stone room with a few objects strewn about as targets or obstacles, some conductive and some not. The arrangement of the room suggested that Clockwork had intended for Danny to stand in the centre of the room and try to hit the targets at range, but it had become clear very quickly that ranged attacks were well outside of his ability. Danny had spent pretty much the entirety of their first session just getting to a point where he could consistently produce a charge, and their second session simply trying to hold on to his charge while he was grounded. The latter hadn’t exactly been successful.

Clockwork stopped in the middle of the room and turned back to Danny. “I want to do something different today.” Danny was relieved to hear that, but he tried not to show it. “Before you can control how your electricity behaves, you need to feel that it is your electricity. You need to believe that it is something you do, rather than something that happens to you. To that end, I want you to try summoning electricity intentionally without relying on your emotions. You should be able to remain perfectly calm while creating a charge.”

Danny took a deep breath. That sounded good, if difficult. He’d more or less gotten the hang of working himself up until he could feel the electricity, but he’d suspected that wasn’t the best way to do this. He still wasn’t sure about this ‘believing he was in control’ business, but surely, if he could remain calm while using his powers, then he’d have an easier time controlling them. It made sense that his emotions would get in the way and keep him from focusing the way he needed to.

Of course, it was easy to say that, but he still had to figure out how to draw on his electricity powers. They didn’t feel the same as his regular ghost powers. The electricity, if Clockwork was right, ultimately came from his core, but it wasn’t as simple as drawing energy from his core as he usually did. There was an extra step that needed to happen to turn that core energy into electricity, a step which had only ever happened unconsciously before. He closed his eyes and tried to remember what it felt like when he got angry or frustrated and recreate that feeling without actually becoming angry or frustrated. It was about as impossible as he expected.

“It’s alright. Do what you need to do to summon the electricity, and, as you do, focus on what’s happening in your body.” Danny nodded and took another breath as he thought about Dash. It was an easy go-to to get himself angry. He remembered various taunts and insults that Dash had thrown his way in the past year. He had become less physical lately, probably because Danny had handed him his ass one too many times with the help of his ghost powers, but the words had only gotten worse since then. Danny felt the familiar buzzing, and he tried to focus on that.

He felt the prickling heat throughout his body, but he had no idea where it was coming from. The buzzing, tingling sensation seemed to mostly be on the surface of his skin, and especially in his hands. Did that mean it was coming from his hands? He took a few deep breaths to calm himself. The tingling disappeared first, while the heat remained. So, then, the electricity must come from deeper in his body. But as he relaxed, he found that the feeling simply faded away. When he started thinking about Dash again, the heat returned, but it didn’t seem to come from anywhere in particular. He opened his eyes and shook his head.

“I don’t know. It’s just … It all just happens at once. It definitely doesn’t feel like I’m doing anything.”

“And is that different from all of your other powers?” Danny considered. Certainly, some of his powers did happen reflexively on occasion, and they had done so much more when he first got them.

“I used to go intangible a lot without meaning to. I don’t think it was ever tied to my emotions, but it definitely wasn’t intentional.”

“And how did you learn to control that?”

“I’m not … really sure? It was kind of trial and error. Now I just do it, same as flying or, I don’t know, breathing. It’s like a muscle I can flex. But early on … I remember trying to - and don’t laugh - to just think intangible thoughts. Like, I would try to picture myself being intangible.” Clockwork didn’t laugh, but then, he so rarely did.

“And what happens when you picture yourself using your electricity powers?” Danny shrugged. “Why don’t we try that?” Danny dutifully closed his eyes and pictured himself summoning electricity, his body glowing and crackling with energy.

They spent an hour or two like that, alternating between Danny summoning electricity with his emotions and trying to do so with his mind. By the end of it, he was feeling as frustrated and disappointed as ever, but Clockwork reminded him that it had taken over a month of practice to get his other powers under control.

“Yeah,” Danny sighed, “I guess. But I feel like it should be easier now than it was then. I should be better at this because I’ve done it before.”

“Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. This is new, and there’s no reason for you to be especially good at it or to improve especially quickly.”

“But I could, right? If I just believed that I could?” Clockwork inclined his head slightly.

“More easily said than done, I gather. But yes.” Danny gritted his teeth as he smiled.

“Cool.”

“I think we can put this particular exercise on hold for now. Was there anything else you wanted to do or discuss?” Danny shook his head. “Are you certain? I know you don’t want to talk about everything, but if there’s anything I can do to support you, all you need do is ask.”

“I know, and that’s really cool of you, but …” But I don’t even know what to ask for. But I feel like you’d just be wasting your time on a lost cause. But I’m afraid of what would happen if I did ask for help. “But I’ll be okay.”

Clockwork was silent for a long time, and Danny imagined that he was scanning possible futures to see whether there would be any horrible consequences if he let Danny just walk out. Clockwork had explained once that timelines involving beings who existed outside of time, including himself, were much harder to see and much less certain than most. Considering how much Clockwork interacted with him, Danny wondered whether his timeline was still visible at all. When the silence started to get uncomfortable, Danny said,

“Really, I’ll be okay. And I promise to let you know if that changes.” After another moment, Clockwork finally nodded.

“Then I will see you in a week.”

“Well, I’ll see you in a week. You’ll see me right now, because time doesn’t exist here.”

“No, that’s still not how that works.” Danny rolled his eyes. “But, if it makes you happy, then yes, I’ll see you right now.” Danny smiled again, more genuinely this time.

“See you then.”

***

Danny had a math test on Wednesday, which meant that he couldn’t think about anything on Tuesday. For the past two weeks, he’d been telling himself that he still had time, but now he didn’t and he wasn’t prepared. History and science passed in a blur. At the end of each class he had about a page of notes and absolutely no memory of writing them. Tucker tried to help him study during lunch, the two of them sitting alone in a stairwell. Unfortunately, Tucker was a lot better at math than he was at teaching. By the third step of an explanation, Danny had already lost the thread. When he got the wrong answers on practice questions, Tucker couldn’t understand where he had gone wrong or why. At one point, a small group of people walked past them, and one of them made a comment about Danny and Tucker’s sexualities, and then another made a comment about Danny’s genitals and wondered aloud whether that made a difference, and the group continued discussing it as they walked away. Tucker yelped at the electric shock he received through the floor. Danny thanked Tucker for trying to help but said he’d rather keep studying alone.

After lunch was math, which thankfully was a review period. Danny was somewhat comforted by the fact that a lot of people in class had a lot of questions, many of them the same questions that he had. The answers the teacher gave made sense, but then it always made sense in class. He had his pages of practice open in front of him and he wrote on them in pen explaining what he had done wrong and what he should have done. He wrote a lot of exact quotes of what the teacher said. He wasn’t sure it would be enough. When they did practice questions in class he was still getting wrong answers. He didn’t understand why. The teacher would say something and Danny would write it down and then ten minutes later he would be looking at the question and not remember what they’d just talked about. He did get some right, though. He wasn’t sure whether it was luck or skill, but he got some questions right and he had to hold on to that. The test would be worth fifteen percent and that seemed like a lot all at once. Danny knew that being stressed wouldn’t help and he would hate himself if he failed because he was too stressed to focus on that one day. So he tried to figure out how to do the questions he didn’t understand and to remind himself that he did know some of this and based on the questions other people were asking he probably was doing better than some people and that was a good thing and he just had to relax and trust that he was smart enough to pass because if he didn’t relax then it wouldn’t even matter how smart he was and he wasn’t exactly sure how to relax so he just tried to breathe deeply and hoped that was close enough.

Gym wasn’t great, but gym was never great. Danny was a lot stronger and more coordinated in ghost form than human. They had recently started their football unit, which was a blessing in disguise as the coach was almost entirely focused on the students who were on the football team, leaving the rest of the class to devote as much or as little effort as they wanted to the class. Danny was barely aware of what he was doing as he practiced throwing and catching with a partner. He overextended his arm a lot and every time he felt a pang in his elbow, but he wasn’t too worried about it because his ghost powers made him an impossibly fast healer. By this time tomorrow his arm would be perfectly fine and ready for him to wreck it again. He knew that if he just threw the ball properly then he wouldn’t have to deal with the pain. He didn’t want to hurt his arm. So he should probably just stop overextending it. He knew how to; the coach had gone over it at the beginning of class. Danny threw the ball back to his partner and winced.

***

“We’re only bringing this up because we’re worried about you.”

“Yeah, I know.” Danny didn’t make eye contact with his parents, who were sitting on the couch across from him. He was sat cross-legged on a chair, staring at the blank TV screen. He’d been watching some mindless made-for-TV drama flick until a few minutes ago when his parents had turned it off and said they wanted to talk.

“Can you tell us anything about what’s going on?” his father asked, his voice and eyes pleading. Danny understood their concern, of course, but what could he tell them? That he was frustrated because he couldn’t control his new ghost powers? He didn’t imagine that going over well. He shook his head.

“It’s really nothing. I’m sorry if I worried you, but I’m fine.” His father shook his head.

“Danny, it’s obvious you aren’t fine. Please. Is something happening at school? Are you being bullied?”

“No, of course not. I would tell you. That’s what you do, right? ‘Always tell an adult,’ or whatever?”

“Is it drugs?” his mother asked. Danny rolled his eyes.

“No, mom, I can absolutely promise you that I am not now doing nor will I ever do drugs. I’m not an idiot.”

“Sometimes smart people make mistakes, Danny. We want you to feel comfortable enough to come to us if you do make a mistake.” Yeah, actually there was this pretty big mistake involving the ghost portal … He sighed.

“Of course I do, mom. You guys have always been supportive, and I know you’ll love me no matter what.” As long as you still believe that I’m me, and not some ghost pretending to be your son. “Please believe that I would tell you if something was going on.” His parents looked at each other for what felt like a very long time. Then his mother looked back at him and smiled, though it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Ok, Danny. But just … just talk to us, ok? Whatever’s going on, good or bad, we want to hear about it.”

“We want to be a part of your life,” his father added. Danny did feel guilty for shutting them out, but he knew it had to be done. He wanted to believe that they would accept him as a half-ghost, but … well, but he didn’t.

“You are a part of my life,” he said, chuckling slightly. “I mean, family, friends, school, that’s pretty much all I’ve got going on. By my math, you guys and Jazz are like, an entire third of my life. I’m not sure I can give you much more than that.”

“Speaking of which,” his mother began, her tone still serious. Danny sighed again. “How is school going? Your grades dropped a lot when you started high school. Are you getting the help you need? Are things getting any easier?” Danny shrugged as he looked at the carpet.

“Yeah, I guess? It was just the workload, you know? I wasn’t prepared for it.” Somehow he hadn’t anticipated that he would have to deal with dying and then becoming a superhero at the same time as he was adjusting to high school. “I think this year will be better. I’m starting to … find my rhythm, or something.”

“You’re getting your homework done every night?” Danny cringed, but he covered it with another shrug.

“Yeah, I mean, most of it is optional, anyway. Like, we usually go over everything in class, and the homework is just if you need more practice.” Admittedly, that was true for his math and science classes, so he was only half-lying. He also conveniently left out the detail that he absolutely could use the extra practice. His father smiled brightly.

“Ha! So you’re too smart to need their dumb homework. That’s my boy!” His mother frowned.

“I would feel better if you did the homework, even if you don’t think you need to. Practice never hurt anyone.” Danny almost laughed as he recalled how often he and his friends had gotten hurt when he practiced using his powers in the months after he got them. It wasn’t really funny, though.

“Yeah, I’ll try. Are we done here? Not to be rude, but I was kind of watching TV.” His mother sighed and his father nodded.

“I think we’re done, right Madds? Just remember that you can talk to us about anything that’s bothering you. Especially if it’s ghosts.” He suddenly squinted his eyes. “You aren’t being bothered by ghosts, are you son?” If only you knew. “Because you know your old man could take care of that problem, no … problem.”

“No, dad, I don’t have a ghost problem.” Danny reached for the remote, but hesitated for a moment, partially to decide whether he should say something else and partially to let the tingling in his fingertips subside. The remote was covered in plastic, but he’d learned the hard way that that wasn’t always enough. After a second, he added, “And thanks for reaching out. I know you guys just want what’s best for me. I love you.” His parents both smiled. His father said,

“Anytime, son.” His mother nodded and said,

“We love you, too, sweetie.” Danny smiled back at them for a moment, but he found that he had to look away. After a year and a half, he would have thought lying to them would come naturally, but it still made his stomach twist and his eyes sting.

***

Danny thought that the math test went alright, which possibly meant that his last-minute studying had paid off and possibly meant that he was so unprepared that he couldn’t even tell when he didn’t know the answers. He wanted to believe he was just being pessimistic, but considering how often he’d gotten wrong answers on the practice questions when he thought he was doing them correctly, it seemed at least as likely as not that he had bombed the test. Or maybe he’d performed completely middlingly. He wouldn’t know for at least a few days. That wasn’t going to stop him from worrying about it. Luckily, he also had a history paper due in less than two weeks, so he figured he could switch things up and worry about that when he got tired of worrying about his math grade.

Gym class managed to distract him pretty well as they were now learning plays, which meant a lot of moving around and paying attention to where other people were and hand-eye coordination. He was pretty bad at it, and he got some comments to that effect from other students, but he was used to that.

The football team had practice on the field right after school, and several of the team members arrived a few minutes before the bell. The coach was already completely distracted, so Danny decided he didn’t need to stick around. He changed as quickly as he could in a bathroom stall and sprayed himself with too much body spray because he had long since learned not to shower at school when other students might walk in. He was walking out of the changeroom just as the bell rang, and he saw Dash walking toward him. He put his head down, but there was no way to avoid walking past him. Danny hoped that Dash would ignore him and just go into the changeroom, but when Danny turned down a side hallway, he heard footsteps behind him.

“Leave me alone, Dash. Don’t you have to get to practice?”

“Oh, I’ve always got time to make your life harder, Fenton.” Danny rolled his eyes and kept walking. “Hey, how is gym going for you, anyway? You look like such a scrawny piece of shit, I can’t imagine you’re acing the class. Which is funny, because you want to be an astronaut, don’t you? You know that astronauts have to be in shape, right? As in, a shape other than a stick.”

“‘Stick’ isn’t really a shape.”

“Yeah, that’s what I just said, isn’t it? Jesus, are you deaf, too?”

“Whatever.” Danny was at his locker, now. He turned his body to hide the fact that he opened the door by briefly making the lock intangible.

“Kind of makes me wonder what you’ll actually end up doing for money once you realize your dreams are stupid. Maybe you’ll join the freak family business with your useless dad and weirdly hot mom.” That one got Danny to look up.

“What was that about my mom?” Dash laughed as he leaned casually against the lockers.

“Oh, does that bother you?” Danny shrugged.

“Eh, not really. You’re not the first creep to have a thing for my mom.”

“Well, it’s no wonder. The poor woman doesn’t have real man in the house to look after her. Your dad’s a fucking joke, and you’re, well.” He looked Danny up and down in a way that made him deeply uncomfortable. “Huh. You know, you’ve kind of got her figure. If you hadn’t decided to be a dude, you probably would have looked just like her.” Danny was packing his bag, now, as quickly as he could. He hated everything about how this conversation was going and he could already feel the heat rising in his veins. “You’ve still got a pussy, though, don’t you? You know, I’ve got a couple ideas for how you could make money, if you want.”

What happened next seemed like the kind of thing that should happen in slow-motion, but, instead, it was all terrifyingly fast.

Danny shoved the last book in his bag and slammed his locker shut. As soon as his hand touched the metal door, electricity was flowing out of him, through the wall of lockers, and into Dash’s back. Dash made no sound as he fell to the floor, his body completely limp. There was a slight whisp of smoke rising from his burned shirt.

Danny was frozen in place for several seconds, staring at Dash’s body, praying that he would move, or make some noise, or something. Nothing happened. Soon enough, somebody would come looking for Dash, and Danny felt very strongly that he needed to not be here when they arrived. He locked his locker; somewhere in the back of his mind he thought that leaving it open would tie him to the scene, and closing it would give him plausible deniability. Then, without another look at Dash, he grabbed his backpack and ran.

***

Danny was sitting outside of Clockwork’s castle and thinking. He might have killed someone. He couldn’t control his powers and now he might have killed someone. Dash was an awful person, but did he deserve to die? Actually, Danny didn’t have a good answer to that question. He wondered whether the world would be better without Dash. Then he felt guilty because even if that was the case, it wasn’t Danny’s place to decide who lived and who died. He had lost so much sleep worrying about becoming the kind of person who thought that they could decide who lived and who died simply because they had the power to do so, and now that Dash might be dead he found himself trying to justify his actions and he wondered whether it was already happening and he was already the person he had feared becoming and that terrified him but the idea that he might have just killed an innocent person for no reason simply because his powers were out of his control wasn’t much easier to palette because firstly that meant that he had killed an innocent person which was exactly the kind of thing that the kind of person he didn’t want to be would do and did it really matter why he killed them or whether or not he felt guilty about it when at the end of the day the person was still dead and all of the consequences of that would happen regardless of why he had done it or how he felt about it like all of Dash’s family and friends would be destroyed and all of them were innocent victims too so it wasn’t even just one person that he hurt but countless people in countless ways that he would never even know not that knowing would make it any better and secondly that meant that his powers were out of control and he thought he already knew that but he’d still been careless and acted like he could control them and he didn’t take any precautions and now it was too late and even if it wasn’t too late for Dash Danny still couldn’t avoid the fact that he could have killed someone because he couldn’t control his powers but he had no idea how to control his powers and he wasn’t sure that it was possible and that was really the worst part of all of this because it meant that this could happen again and Danny didn’t want it to happen again of course he didn’t but he remembered what Clockwork had told him that he really was in control but he was just controlling the power subconsciously and all he needed to do was believe that and he could bring that control to his conscious mind and Danny had wanted to believe that before but he couldn’t because it didn’t feel like he was in control but now it was worse because if he accepted that he was in control all along that he would have to accept that he had chosen to electrocute Dash and what really terrified him was that he couldn’t dismiss that possibility out of hand because of course he had wanted to electrocute Dash even if he would never ordinarily have done it and honestly even if he was right and Clockwork was wrong about his powers it was still true that Danny had felt the electricity inside himself and he had seen that Dash was leaning on the lockers and he had touched the metal door so he couldn’t even really say that what had happened had happened because he couldn’t control his power because he could certainly control what he touched and when and he had chosen to touch the locker at that moment which meant that he had chosen to electrocute Dash which meant that he was turning evil and he wanted to say that he didn’t want to be evil but of course he did because if he didn’t then he wouldn’t have done what he did and Danny could swear all day that he hadn’t wanted that to happen but if he really hadn’t wanted to kill Dash then he wouldn’t have but he did or at least he tried to so then Danny must really be evil even though he felt like he didn’t want to be evil and he had no idea what that meant and all he could think was that sooner or later he would probably just accept it and stop feeling guilty and when that happened he had no idea what he might do so he had to make sure that didn’t happen or Clockwork had to because wasn’t that the whole point of their arrangement that Clockwork was supposed to stop Danny from being evil or kill him if he did turn evil but he hadn’t done anything yet which might mean that there was still a chance for Danny or it might mean that Clockwork was just giving him time to process and make peace with what had happened before killing him or maybe Danny was just going to be stuck here in Clockwork’s castle forever where he couldn’t hurt anyone which wasn’t exactly a pleasant idea but he supposed it was better than him hurting people but then if he really believed that then maybe that meant that he really wasn’t evil at all because how could an evil person be willing to sacrifice themselves to save others but then how could a good person have electrocuted someone just because they were being a dick because that was exactly what Danny had done and actions spoke louder than words even the words in someone’s head.

Danny went through the same circular thoughts for what felt like hours, though of course in reality no time was passing. He wondered several times why Clockwork hadn’t come to see him yet - it wasn’t like he didn’t have the time - but he eventually realized that he wasn’t in any state of mind to talk. Gradually, he managed to become … not calm, exactly, but much less agitated.

When Clockwork did appear, he didn’t speak, and Danny didn’t either. He had a lot of questions, but he wasn’t sure he wanted the answers to any of them. For a long time, they both just stared out into the ghost zone, watching the colours in the sky flow and swirl.

“Did I kill him?” Danny asked when he couldn’t bear the silence any longer. Clockwork hesitated a moment before responding.

“You know I can’t tell you what’s going to -” Danny shook his head.

“Yeah, I know. But can you tell me if he was dead when I left?”

“He wasn’t.”

“Ok.” Danny nodded. “Ok.” He didn’t know what else to say.

“You know that you have to go back.” It wasn’t a question, but Danny shook his head.

“I’m not sure I should.”

“I know you’re not, but that doesn’t change anything. You can’t stay here forever. Sooner or later you need to face the consequences of your actions.” Danny closed his eyes.

“I’m not ready.”

“I know.”

Danny tried to take a deep breath, but it caught in his throat. It was only then that he noticed the prickling in his eyes, and within moments the tears were flowing freely. He was dimly surprised to realize that this was the first time he’d cried all day. He’d been thinking so much about what happened, running it over and over and analyzing everything, but he hadn’t really felt it. Now that he was experiencing those emotions, they overwhelmed him. He was scared and sad and frustrated and disappointed and angry and shocked and he had no idea what to do with all of that so he just wrapped his arms around his chest and sobbed. He barely even noticed the other set of arms that encircled him.

The two of them sat, unmoving, for a long time while Danny cried. He felt like he could stay here crying into his mentor’s shoulder forever. Indeed, they were in the one place where that might be possible. But Danny could still feel the passage of time, and, slowly, his tears started to subside, though his emotions were still a mess.

“I can’t do it,” Danny whispered, his voice choked. “My powers, I can’t -”

“You can.”

“I can’t. I can’t even do my homework. I can’t pay attention in class. I can’t throw a goddamn football properly.” Danny sobbed again, and it took him a few tries to get his breath back. “I should be able to, but if I could then why would I be doing this? Why would I make my life harder on purpose? Why would I fucking elecrocute someone? If I could control it then this wouldn’t have happened. Or if I can, then I’m a psychopath.”

“I’m sorry,” Clockwork said gently. “I know this is difficult, but I promise to help you in any way I can.”

“You can’t help me. If I’m the only one who can control what I do, then you can’t help. I’m the only one who could theoretically help me, and apparently I either can’t or won’t.” Danny’s tears had completely stopped now, and he wasn’t sure that was a good thing.

“We’ll keep working on this together. I won’t give up on you, Danny, and I won’t let you give up on yourself.”

“You’re going to be disappointed.”

“Are you implying that the Master of Time doesn’t know what’s going to happen in the future?” He said it like a joke, but Danny couldn’t bring himself to smile.

“Not when you interfere with events.”

“True enough. Even so, I know that you could never disappoint me. And I know that, sooner or later, you will figure out your powers and whatever else you need to figure out. And I know that, impossible though it may sound, you will be happy.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“You don’t have to just yet. For now, I will believe it for both of us.”

#danny phantom #Danny Fenton #clockwork #holiday truce 2019 #fanfic #my writing #transphobia cw #idk how to phrase it but also cw for like negative self talk and general bad mental health

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