#also none of those videos are about how to HELP the behavior

[inkskinned]

i both firmly believe that self-diagnosing saved my life and i think that the way tiktok and instagram have recently been spreading misinformation about mental illness/neurodivergence is incredibly harmful.

people who are looking for answers are already people who are in a vulnerable situation.

much of the misinformation appears logically sound; and is presented as definitive fact (prefaced with claims such as "research shows"). it's imperative we remember correlation does not prove causation. it is incredibly dangerous to make definitive statements like "if X happened in your childhood, you now Z as an adult." real scientists will almost always use may or other less-definitive terms. similarly, equating one behavior/experience with any single condition is also unsafe. many conditions have overlapping symptoms; and many people "mask" their key symptoms, even to themselves.

we cannot discern from a singular data point any conclusion. in official diagnosis, for a behavior/experience to be considered a symptom, it must significantly influence your life. many people enjoy an organized space. that is a preference. disrupting your daily life even at personal cost in order to prioritize organization is more likely a symptom.

again, a single data point is not an effective diagnostic tool. it is necessary and important work to catalogue and consider all unwanted/distressing behaviors in order to understand a complete picture of the person.

i will see creators in paid partnerships make generalized behavioral/emotional claims that apply to a large portion of a community, and then they will suggest that the "solution" to that behavior is through their paid partner/through their personal support. "follow for more psych tips/facts" is an incredibly evil marketing tactic. i very rarely see unpartnered/unbranded content on how to aid/comfort those behaviors and feelings.

much of the misinformation employs a subtle technique (called confirmation bias) of setting up a conclusion before "proving" the conclusion. "you know you have X when you experience A,B, and C." no person's experience of their conditions/behaviors will look exactly the same as another's. while knowing certain things might be a sign/symptom of a condition, it is irresponsible to consider it definitive.

confirmation bias is unfortunately extremely effective on tiktok specifically. the algorithm will notice that you interacted longer with the video that "proves" (through a singular video) that you "have" a condition. it will continue to feed you related videos that further confirm what you believe.

this is dangerous because we are, unfortunately, not good at knowing ourselves. i did not know it was unusual to vividly nightmare every night; i didn't consider it a symptom. i was similarly dismissive also of any other signs of my PTSD - i incorrectly assigned them to anxiety/adhd. on the small scale, this can mean a longer journey to healing. on the larger scale, it can mean people with extremely difficult situations are unable to get the help they need.

please, if you can, and you're looking to self-diagnose: be careful about what you assume about yourself. try to keep an honest journal of what you're thinking/feeling/doing for a few days.

do not go in with an assumption. try to keep an open mind. i think we all "suspect" we have something - but like i said, i completely missed my own PTSD symptoms, because i suspected the ADHD the most, and only "saw" those symptoms.

do your own research. if the tiktok says "research shows", google that research. figure out who paid for that research. do further research related to that study - has it ever been repeated? is it peer reviewed? do other researchers seem to accept it as conclusive?

if you feel you really resonate with the materials of one person's experience with a condition, find other examples. see if you relate to other creators who identify similarly.

and please - please do not stop once you come to a conclusion. i fully believe that the diagnostic process should be seen as a first step, not a destination. by knowing what you might be struggling with, you gain an incredibly powerful tool on how to gain peace with that condition.

if you feel yourself emotionally respond to a tiktok/etc that suggests something that might be true about yourself, i'm glad you had that experience. but it's also important to not relax into the "easy" answer. interrogate it. start googling what else that could mean; what ways you could work on healing that wound.

healing does not "belong" to any one condition. i want you to begin to look into healing no matter if you have "proven" you have a condition or not. it is never selfish to practice responsible self-care. even if you don't relate to having adhd, you are not harming me by using adhd-inspired study tips. it is not making my condition worse for you to seek peace by asking for more time on tests. even if it was - the fault would be with the system, not in your need of something the system makes inaccessible.

remind yourself that everything you experience is real. and because it is real, it is complicated. while things might be related - even sometimes clearly related - a stranger on the internet cannot make that discernment for you. you as a person deserve the work, attention, and care that goes into the process of unravelling the harm that has been done to you.

it makes me very, very upset to see how popular these videos have become, because they're so irresponsible. and they clearly are targeting a vulnerable group. for example, making generalized claims about children of unloving caretakers is targeting those who have experienced neglect. there is no way to use 30 second videos to correctly analyze what that neglect might have caused in your adult life. i'm sorry, but it's snake oil.

i know it is so powerful soothing to recognize that you aren't broken. that others exist like you out there. i want every person looking for answers to find their answer. i want you to feel seen and heard and understood. i want you to find your community.

i just want it to happen safely.

#every time i write this im like #i just want to say a short thing about this #and every time it ends up being 12 pages long #but since it keeps happening #and i keep seeing shit like this... #this isn't even everything i feel about this #i hope this is clear like #what im saying is #NOT ''you don't have it if u selfdiagnose'' #it's instead.... #you might!!! just don't let 1 or 2 videos confirm it!! #also!!! don't assume that symptom A belongs to condition X!! #even as someone who did eventually get diagnosed like #i still find myself being like - oh that's my adhd #only to figure out 12 hours later. nope that was a panic attack #also none of those videos are about how to HELP the behavior #also this doesn't talk about getting a therapist eventually but please get professional help if you can #it took me fucking forever tho #what im saying is that in the meantime #u can heal now #this is too long im posting it on a sunday so nobody reads it

[lolomidi]

The Price of Entertainment: An Episode-By-Episode Analysis of Alastor's Facade

I don’t think any character in Hazbin Hotel has been discussed as much as Alastor, and it’s a testament to how much the writers put in his character that the mystery of his intentions, past, and contract have been so debated on.

There are some takes I vehemently disagree with, but something a lot of people seem to have settled on is that Alastor is, behind his massive ego and cool-headed persona, insecure about his place in Hell after his long “sabbatical.” I want to do an episode-by-episode analysis of Alastor’s behavior and how Season 1 shifts our view of him from an unquestionably powerful Overlord to something with more depth, and while I won’t be speculating on who owns his soul and how he’ll break that contract in those post, I will take a guess at the future of his character in a narrative sense. I will also implicitly be addressing my issues with some of the conclusions others have made, or at least playing devil's advocate.

NOTE: I want to clarify that none of this is meant to depict Alastor as some poor woobie. He’s still awful. He’s in Hell for several reasons and being a serial killer is only one of them. Rather, I want to analyze what is shown to us about him, and how those story beats can be used to determine where he’ll end up by the finale of the series.

ALSO NOTE: I haven’t followed all of VivziePop’s comments outside of the show about the characters, and it’s possible that certain details have been changed between the release of the pilot and the show, so take any mentions of what hasn’t been explicitly depicted within the show with a grain of salt.

___

Part 1: Recap Analysis

This section will consist of commentary regarding Alastor's appearance and behavior in the given episodes, with retrospection based on new information given in later episodes if needed.

“Overture”: Alastor is pretty one-to-one with his depiction in the pilot in the first episode. He’s snarky, open about his sadism, but helpful if begrudgingly so. Interestingly, he’s able to put together a well-edited, if tonally awful, commercial, and probably could have done better if he weren’t intentionally being an ass about it. From the finale we know that he and Vox likely used to have a more magnanimous relationship, and it’s likely that he picked up some tools of the digital trade in that time despite or before being turned off completely by it.

“Radio Killed the Video Star”: Vox effectively plays heel for Alastor this episode as we continue that first impression of the Radio Demon. We spend a good time showing off the former’s power and how far his roots have spread throughout Hell’s society, only for Alastor to effortlessly trounce him and steal from his audience, despite being gone for so long and his position in Hell less stable. This indicates that Alastor does still have pull, but at the same time that his position in the hierarchy of Hell is being contested due to the length of his absence. He deals with it easily here, but we’ll see in subsequent episodes that things aren’t as smooth as they first seem.

“Scrambled Eggs”: In terms of the eggs, there’s not much to talk about. He begrudgingly accepts Vaggie’s request to get rid of them “humanely,” but brings them back to the hotel after they prove to be useful spies.

More importantly, we get our first small hint that Alastor’s ego can be bruised when Carmilla doesn’t humor him during the meeting between Overlords. Now, I actually disagree with a lot of the takes on this episode in that I think it indicates that at least some of Alastor’s views and need to prove himself as a powerful Overlord are the result of self-delusion. Yes, he does need to reestablish himself as a person not to be messed with after being gone for so long, but I think it isn’t as bad as some are making it out to be, which makes his behavior in later episodes more strange and excessive if anything.

Carmilla, who mind you is a busy and stressed woman trying to hide the fact that she’s successfully murdered an angel, hits his ego by not caring where he’s been (something he wouldn’t have revealed in the first place), but she also welcomes him back, which is more than you could say to Velvette and by extension the Vees. And minutes before that, Zestial, who’s probably the highest on their totem pole, does go out of his way to meet with Alastor and inquire about where he’s been. Alastor himself gets over the slight pretty quickly and has no issue contributing to the meeting. Overall, he isn’t necessarily terrifying other overlords, but he still has an established place with them and they do seem to get along well enough. He’s “part of the group” unlike the Vees, who are treated more like upstart outsiders.

I also want to point out that despite Zestial likely outranking Alastor in power, they seem to be alright with each other. Alastor is cordial and does not demonstrate a desire to antagonize him like he does Lucifer in the next episode. Speaking of which…

“Dad Beat Dad”: This episode gives us a lot to chew on and is the first major indicator that Alastor’s issues go beyond wanting to be the center of the room. From the very moment Lucifer walks into the hotel*, his eye is twitching and he is visibly pissed. Lucifer undermining him (notably contrasting Zestial, who is polite despite his power) doesn’t help and makes Alastor let loose his first swear in the entire show. Being the petty bitch he is, Alastor, knowing he can’t intimidate Lucifer in any way, immediately goes for his weak point–Charlie–and plays up the role of a caretaker for her and the hotel. It’s a low blow, but it also feels like a defense–he’s signaling to Lucifer that this is his hotel, that things are taken care of already, and that they do not need his assistance, even though they ultimately do in order to get a meeting with Heaven.

But then things get more complicated with the appearance of Mimzy, who, to the surprise of several characters due to his solitary nature, was friends with Alastor all the way back when they were alive, and she carries a load of implications with her. She’s the only crack so far at what a “human” Alastor is like–apparently he’s a heavyweight drinker, a good dancer, and most notably, in Mimzy’s words, a sweet man who "becomes a kitten" when he's drunk. This is a huge departure from the unflappable, egotistical Radio Demon we’ve known up to now, and I think it’s a purposeful choice that we’re hearing this information but not shown it like his early days in Hell just prior. It’s simultaneously left to the imagination but difficult to do so because it contrasts so heavily with everything that has been shown to us beforehand. Another thing is that Mimzy is sure that Alastor will clean up her mess–and apparently this isn’t the first time he has, if Husk is anything to go by. So many people seem to miss this, but Alastor, who hates being tied down or disrespected, has been allowing Mimzy to leech off of him, presumably due to their past friendship making him turn a blind eye.

Alastor is on edge for this entire episode and is already unusually snappy when Husk addresses Mimzy, and pushing the button that was his contract is what sends him over the edge. His temper exploding is a direct result of his feeling that his control over both the hotel (via Lucifer) and his personal life (via Husk’s “doubt” that he can handle everything and that his reputation is what it used to be, plus the reminder of his deal) is being taken away from him. Alastor’s threat to Husk, which seems to not be his usual behavior if Husk’s willingness to show concern and talk back in the first place is anything to go by, is an attempt to remind both of them that he holds the cards, that he’s a powerful Overlord that is not to be trifled with, and he explicitly says as much when he goes out to deal with what Mimzy’s dragged in.

It’s only after he lets his anger out on the mobsters and “proves himself” that he visibly calms down and makes the logical decision to tell Mimzy to leave with a serious attitude, and also doesn’t antagonize anyone for the rest of the episode. It seems like despite his fury earlier, he was listening to Husk, who’s rightfully smug about it. He’s even present when Charlie declares her desire to protect her people, and his smile seems just a tad bit more genuine.

*Note: it’s not impossible that Alastor has some sort of personal grudge against Lucifer which caused his hate-on-first-sight, depending on the circumstances of his disappearance and contract (i.e. if it’s with Lilith).

“Hello Rosie!”: As opposed to Dad Beat Dad, Hello Rosie is arguably where we see Alastor at his most in-his-element. He gives off a lot of conflicting vibes at the beginning, from mocking Charlie’s distress to, in a shockingly honest moment, lecturing her about the importance of a smile to portray strength, a card we’d only been shown due to comments outside of the show. He smugly holds his knowledge over Charlie’s head but is visibly impatient to have her make a blank check of a deal with him, solid enough to benefit him but vague enough so that Charlie won’t feel immediately threatened. He’s clearly been waiting for an opportunity like this since the events of the pilot.

After that, he puts back on his gentleman’s demeanor and introduces Charlie to Rosie, and from here on he’s arguably at his most comfortable in the entire show. He’s relaxed around Rosie and is actually willing to ask for her help (something I can’t see him doing with any other character), casually complains about Susan, is encouraging to and praises Charlie even behind her back, and most notably, gives her his radio cane unprompted. More on that later. He also mentioned wanting to guide Charlie to Rosie specifically, implying that he was being genuine about wanting to act as a mentor to her, though his intentions are probably self-beneficial.

“The Show Must Go On”: The finale is arguably the most revealing episode on what Alastor’s inner world is like, as we see him unmasked several times. For one, his private admission to Niffty, the closest thing he has to a friend within the hotel, that he’s enjoyed watching the other residents connect to each other. This is in direct opposition to his initial (stated) reason for helping the hotel in that he wanted to watch them all fail, and yet he seems content with his initial assumptions being proven wrong. There’s no malice or sarcasm in this moment, he’s relaxed and talking to someone he relatively trusts.

And so he goes into the battle swinging and confident. Then, of course, Adam.

I want to bring up something before we keep going. Yes, fighting Adam without angelic weaponry was a needless risk. Yes, Alastor fell victim to the very sloppiness and arrogance he accused Adam of, and it’s thematically appropriate that he was the only one to lose his battle in that he was fighting for his own ego more than “love.” But also, people seem to forget that Alastor is the only demon in the entire show with a precedent for permakilling without an explicit reliance on angelic weaponry, as the Overlords he toppled in his original rampage seem to have never returned. He’s egotistical, but not stupid. He may have genuinely believed that he had the means to kill Adam himself but didn’t get the chance/couldn’t due to his contract or absence possibly weakening him. But that's speculation for another day.

So, he has to retreat before Adam double-taps his ass and is too injured to return until after the extermination. He makes a grand exit, but not before grabbing the broken pieces of his radio cane. The one he allowed Charlie to use just an episode prior, and presumably is a conduit for his powers, and he grabs it while a murderous angel is inches away from wiping him off the face of Hell.

His portion of “Finale” is the first time we see him singing alone and not playing off someone in a duet. It’s obvious that he’s trying to keep his composure, still speaking to himself in his artificial transatlantic accent (which we now know for a fact he doesn't need to do, seeing as he finally broke character when Adam wrecked his cane) and reassuring himself that he’ll come out on top next time. But here his front shatters and we openly see what the show has been hinting he is for the first time: a deeply paranoid, desperate, and unstable man.

Essentially the worst-case scenario has happened: after a season of interfering with every attempt to capture him on camera, Vox has footage of him at his lowest point for all of Hell to see, and he’ll have “died” a martyr, a weakling, and still in the chains of an unwanted contract. For Alastor, who is so deeply afraid of showing any sign of vulnerability, who wants to be seen as a monstrous Overlord, it’s understandable that this humiliation is enough to send him into a mental spiral and recant any fondness for the hotel in favor of accomplishing his own goals. Worse yet, when we next see him he gives zero indication of any of this even when Charlie and company are simply glad that he's alive, which leaves us to wonder: has he been like this behind the smile from the very beginning?

___

Part 2: Closing Thoughts and Future Speculation

With everything we’ve taken note of above, we can start to piece together a picture of who this guy is, and what the writers are going to do with him.

Alastor is sentimental. It’s not just his attachment to older technology or his love for being the center of everyone's attention. He likes being around people, he has friends, one of which he continuously indulged despite her using him multiple times, and he ultimately was starting to enjoy his time at the hotel before his defeat spooked him. Despite him using her, the fact that he was even willing to let Charlie use his cane (and note that he takes it from her as soon as she’s given a substitute, so that is a significant gesture for him) is an implicit display of trust whose implications don’t become apparent until the finale.

But this is paired with deep insecurity. Alastor, despite being one of the most powerful people in the Pride Ring, has a crippling fear of being seen as vulnerable or “lesser” by others. There could be multiple overlapping reasons for this: the general climate of Hell, whatever happened to him seven years ago, his experiences as a mixed-race human living in Prohibition-era Louisiana, his original death, a natural predisposition, etc.

Regardless, this anxiety of his is so overwhelming that, when paired with the ever-present stress of not owning his own soul, it’s driving him insane. He made a splash in Hell upon entry and now he’s desperately trying to reinvoke that in order to defend himself both physically and mentally. He’s the gifted kid who’s slowly going nuts trying to keep up an impossible momentum as they grow older. He’s an ex-human denying his humanity because he doesn’t want to feel human. Everyone’s out to get him, and anyone who could be an enemy is an enemy unless he has total control over them via a contract, power, or the reassurance of years of close friendship. It’s why he’s cordial to Zestial but takes Carmilla (who wasn't even trying to spite him) and Lucifer’s comments personally, in the same way someone with low self-esteem might want to lash out against an authority figure who they feel is looking down on them.

Worse yet, he can’t/won’t let these feelings out and is bottling them up so that no one will know he feels this way (note how quickly he was able to relax in Dad Beat Dad when he was given an outlet for his stress), because that’s a sign of weakness too. It’s honestly kind of frightening that in his final scene he gives zero indication of being injured or of just having had a meltdown. By all outside accounts, he’s his usual chipper self, and no one at the hotel save for maybe Husk, who can’t say anything Alastor doesn’t want him to, would realize anything is amiss. The reason his part of “Finale” is chilling isn’t just because of the implications that he will become an antagonist in the future–it’s that his mental state is so poor that he is no longer acting rationally, which makes him unpredictable in the worst possible way.

I think Alastor’s character arc isn’t going to be redemption by way of going to Heaven, I don't think that place is his style anyway, but rather redemption of his own self-image. I don’t think the writers would make what is arguably the most popular and well-developed character in the show just to say that he’s hopelessly evil and simply end it at that. We’ve been exposed to multiple facets of his character, and while his deeds and probably his intentions are sinister, his underlying motivation for it all seems to be “freedom,” which decidedly isn’t (unless your name is Eren Jaeger).

I do believe that he’ll have his villain moment where he indulges in his worst impulses, but that ultimately it won’t do anything to fulfill him, because as we see in the official comics before the release of the show (which may no longer be canon but still give a viable “baseline” for the characters), when his desire to be feared and respected is granted, it only isolates him. Like the others, he’ll have to hit rock bottom before he can climb back up.

Pentious, who was successfully redeemed, needed to understand that people weren’t out to get him, which allowed him to make the decision to put his friends before himself and trigger his selfless sacrifice. Angel, who’s well on his way to redemption, needed to realize he wasn’t alone and could rely on others, and his confidence and self-love has grown enormously since then. I think these are both lessons Alastor will need to learn eventually as well. He’s the manager of the hotel, but also undoubtedly a patient. He’s hungry for freedom, but only when he learns these lessons will he be truly free.

Or maybe I’m thinking too much into it idk lmaooooo

#hazbin hotel #hazbin theory #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin analysis #zestial morde #carmilla carmine #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel rosie #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #thank god i finally released this now i never have to think about this show again #that tragic feeling when the tumblr sexyman bait is the best character in the show #alastor does not have a blanket hatred for everyone who's more powerful than he is #if he did then he'd despise charlie too and genuinely doesn't seem to #rather it's towards ANYONE whether stronger or weaker than him who refuse to acknowledge him #oooooooh this boy's got a complex but he's a VivsiePop character so it's par for the course #but anyway some of the takes people have made on him are abysmal to me so i wrote my first tumblr post in a decade

[blue-and-grey-army]

- - C A R A M E L - - 7

7. Cotton candy

Genre: BTS, Idol AU, poly au, BTS x reader, OT7, OT7 x reader, Idol BTS, Dom BTS, sub reader, angst, fluff, eventual smut

Warnings: BTS x reader, very subby reader, innocent reader, power play, eventual smut, sexual and non sexual domination, a lot of skinship (but like lots) excessive pet names, sexism, anxiety, insecurities, possessive behavior, maybe BTS x BTS etc..

“Y/NNNNN! What a delightful surprise, hmm” Hoseok smiled at you happily, getting up from the dance studio floor and getting closer to you. You couldn’t help to breath in as you took in his sweaty look, low hanging pants and his cheeky yet kind smile. You shake your head slightly, making an effort to get yourself back together, but of course Hoseok noticed, and his smile widened. “What brings you here, cutie?”

You smile softly, playing with the hem of your shirt before answering to him.

“None of the boys have required my assistance with…well, nothing, so I don’t have anything to do right now” you admit shyly, your lips frowned in a small pout that he wants to kiss.

“Hmm, I see…As much as I would love to keep you here all to myself…” you chuckled at his antics, not taking him seriously (Hoseok promises himself that you would be writhing to him one day) “I have to finish this choreo, and with you here I won’t focus…I heard Namjoon is in the Gym though, go check him out! I’m sure he’ll be happy with your visit”

You nod fervently, waving goodbye at the boy as he does the same, sharing his joy with you. You walk out bouncing on the balls of your feet slightly, going to the elevator so you could reach the gym in one of the top floors. You were happy that day, wearing your comfort socks and having your hair done on a small braid. You were proud of yourself from how pretty it had turned out, subconsciously wanting the boys to see it and praise you for it.

You hum to yourself softly as you recall hearing people, passing by through Hybe’s building, talking about how Namjoon was really devote to his workout routines and how consistent he had been lately. If you said you hadn’t notice, you would be lying. The way he had gotten so much buffer was clear to everyone, and even more to you, with whom he shared his space almost everyday.

Even so, you hadn’t had much interactions with Namjoon. Well, nor with Jimin, Taehyung or Jin. Hobi, Yoongi and Jungkook seemed to be much confident when it came to approaching you freely, maybe because you had already started to break some barriers with them, but they were still keeping some distance.

You didn’t know it was because they were trying to leave some of you for the other members, though.

You stepped out of the elevator once you reached the right floor, and started looking for the gym, when your phone dinged. It was a notification from twitter. You would never admit it, but before getting this job you weren’t really a fan of BTS. Of course you knew who they were, and had heard some songs, but you never really took the time to get involved with their fandom or content. It was an accident, you swear it, but you clicked on a YouTube video about a compilation of ‘Funny Taehyung moments’ and you had to watch it.

And that’s how you got absorbed into army.

It’s not your fault, ok? How could you have known?! It was just so easy to jump from one video to another, and before you realized you were doing one of those tests of ‘guess the BTS member by the picture of his nose’. But who could blame you? You were sharing almost everyday with them, how could you not get into the fandom and all the content? It was amazing being able to watch all their content and videos and also experience their company in real life. It was only normal for you to get obsessed.

And, it was also kinda nice knowing they had something for you, whatever it was. You may be naive, a little hazy and absent, and a complete expert in hyper focusing in unimportant things, but you would have to be a complete half wit to not notice. Yeah, you were coming to terms with that.

When you finally found the gym in that bloody huge floor, you just entered and scanned the place looking for Namjoon. You didn’t really think things through, that if he was working out he wouldn’t probably need you to do anything for him, but just following Hoseok’s orders felt too tight to do anything else. When you finally found the leader in the treadmill, you mouth hanged open.

Oh. My. God.

He wasn’t shirtless. He definitely wasn’t. But he could very well be with the way his tank top was sticking to his skin thanks to the sweat. His back was turned to you, an gosh what a blessed sight. You had noticed in the past the way his arms had gained lot of muscle and filled his shirts nicely, but his back…that was on a whole other level. Wide, muscly, sweaty shoulders that went down to a nicely defined back, a small waist and a nice, very nice butt. You were so focused on him, that you weren’t even embarrassed about ogling him that way.

Until…

“Y/N…Y/N, hey?” His voice got you out of your trance from looking at his ass…ARMS! Looking at his arms, just to find him standing right in front of you with a smirk. Of course had caught you drinking him up, ever since the moment you entered the room. The wall was made of a mirror, after all. Your cheeks heated up and you tried to babble an excuse.

“I was…I-I just…I…you…well…” he had the audacity to laugh and lean over so his face was closer to yours and touching the end of your braid.

“Hmm, I like this one” he tugged at it very softly and you bit your tongue from the satisfying pull. “It suits you…but I don’t think there is something that doesn’t” he admites with a breathy chuckle. “But enlighten me, what brings you here, doll?” His fingers get closer to your chin and he wipes it affectionately with his thumb. You tongue feels tied and your mouth filled with cotton. But a very soft and fluffy one…like cotton candy taking its time, sweetening your words even before they went out. “Hmm, there is something that does not suit you indeed…” he keeps quiet for a bit, but before you can even process it, he gets an inch closer “Disobedience”

“I-I’m sorry…” you admit, having to turn your head up a tad to be able to look at him comfortably, even when he was bending over “I…I didn’t have anything to do, and Hobi told me you were here so I wondered…I thougt…maybe you would need me” your voice was meek, but in a good way.

He couldn’t help the smile that came to his face when he noticed you were barely stammering with your words.

“That’s better, little one” you almost hiccup with his words, clenching your thighs subconsciously. “But there is no need for you to wonder”

You eyes widened slightly at his crude words as your lower lip came a little out in a pout. You were so stupid…getting all confident that they wanted to be with you. You had forgotten your place, and how important and busy people they were. Of course they would treat you nicely, you are their personas assistant…or whatever name your position had. You were their employee, with whom they spent lots of time with and of course they wouldn’t want you messing up.

Your own head started to play against you until Namjoon’s chuckle filled the air.

“There is no need for you to wonder, pup” his voice enveloped you as softly as if it were velvet. “I always need you”

You thought he was joking, so you chuckled slightly at his antics. To your bad, or good luck, he wasn’t as patient as Hoseok when it came to his approaches and words for you. Specially these ones, where he had meant each and every word.

Your breathing hitched softly as he put his hand on your nape, reminding you of the first time you met. Your body felt hot all over, and you felt yourself getting agitated and tense, but not in a bad way. He started playing gently with the hairs on your nape, pulling at them very softly and enjoying the goosebumps that would break all over your soft skin.

“Yeah, isn’t that better?” Your eyes lowered instinctively, but a stronger pull on your hair brought it your head back into place “You do remember what I told you when we first met, right doll?”

You go back into your own memory, getting swayed over the memory of his hand pulling way firmer on the hair form the back of your head, making sure you were looking into his eyes when your shyness prevented you from doing it. Oh, of course, that’s it. You nod softly, looking into his eyes and you are rewarded with the sight of his beautiful dimples and a wide smile.

“Hmm, someone likes my smile?” Your cheeks heat up again at being caught and he laughs wholeheartedly “In that case, I’ll make sure to save this specific one just for you.”

“I don’t think Army would be very appreciative of that” you say boldly, with a soft and genuine smile grazes your face. And he wants to see more of this comfy and confident side of you. He wants to earn it and to have you keep it just for him…and the other members.

“Then, let it be our little secret, right, Y/Nie? His voice was filled with an airy laugh as he squeezed your nape firmly and pulled you closer, getting you to rest your hand on his hard chest from how close you were. “Can I make a confession to you, cutie?”

You nodded your head fervently, licking your lips as you felt all fuzzy again, with the same cotton candy getting over your mouth and throat. So, so sweet you felt as if you were having a sugar rush.

“I’ve never been one to believe in sin…”he started, rubbing his nose against yours, as light as a feather. The hand that was resting on your chin lowered to your waist, his pinky finger inching a little to down for it to remain proper, but if you were bothered by it, you were too distracted to notice. “Until I met you…tempting me…each second, each minute, each hour of every day”

You couldn’t say anything, and it’s not like you wanted to.

“You have no idea what yo do to me, to the others, do you?”

Your lips felt dry, unlike every other part of your body. You swallowed nervously and gave him a flash of your tongue when you swiped it through your lower lip. You felt a deep growl bloom and rumble under your hands, getting over his chest as your eyes met his once again. You swore you felt the thread snap, as his head went down and his lips rested the tiniest of inches away from your lips, less bold than Yoongi had been. While he was still there, he mumbled some last words against your skin, caressing it both with his breath and his own plushy skin.

“You, my dear, are walking sin”

——————

I know I said night but…ITS ALREADY NIGHT WHERE I AM HAHAHA enjoy your treat :D

@thebisexualonesworld @openup-yourmind @jewishmommy @sld88 @djodjom1 @whipwhoops @take-u-2-anOther-wOr1d @singukieee @promiseokza @passionandsuga a @channiespup @bangtan4everr @kissme-ornot @sophiaj650 @delightfulmoonbanana a @serendididy @queenofdragons12 @effielumiere @juju-227592 @mocha000 @taegiblr @lovely247 @rorythme @kyrah-williams @blueberysoda @junisage @m4gg13-g @princess-sunshyn @justaweird0 @peachescream1723 @thatonepansexual2000 @msrmimi @kpoplover-19 @

#bts #bts au #bts au fanfic #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts idol au #bts ot7 x reader #bts poly au #bts poly x reader #bts smut #bts soulmate #bts x reader #ot7 x reader #ot7 x you #poly bts x reader #bts angst #bts army #bts fic #bts ot7 #bts poly fic #caramel #bts jimin #poly bts #hoseok #namjoon

[quimichi]

TW: obsessive behavior, talk about self harm, death, gore, blood, corpses, choking, talk about you being dead, bleeding, bro there's so much - MDNI

SUMMARY: A twisted boy with a twisted mind and a twisted love just for you ♡

CHARACTERS: Yandere x F!Reader

WORD COUNT: 841

𓉸ྀི  Never EVER was Blake expecting to fall in love. At first sight too. He saw you and was instantly captured. My condolences, because with him in your life...it'll be turned upside down

𓉸ྀི You're his newest, recent hyperfixation, or better, obsession. Recent? Well, since he ever saw and read this short story in the internet, about death, killing, blood and guts, he was forever obsessed with it. Especially the graphic pictures that we're added for the "realism'. You see, one click on a link and a wrong turn can lead you down a dark alley filled with the darkest mysteries hold by internet. Hidden from those who would never dare step that far into an alley like this. Bit inviting and interesting to those curious enough to take a look...and forever be captivated.

𓉸ྀི with 12 year's old, exactly that happened. This weird 'dare' and a link went around school and of course 12 year olds are gonna jump on it like hungry wolves. His friend send him the link, he was dared to open it and take a look, but was to scared. So he send Blake the link also, so they can both take a look. Shared fear is only half the fear, right?

𓉸ྀི While his friend was throwinh up beside his bed, he kept scrolling. And scrolling...and scrolling. Weird...this doesn't affect him, at least not like his friend. Or how he thought it would. Everyone kept saying its gross, creepy and...twisted. Its odd that he, likes it.

𓉸ྀི His friend claimed he suddenly felt sick, so his mother picked him up. None of them wanted to raise suspicion of course...But the whole night long, Blake kept looking at the pictures over and over again, he read the story multiple times. He probably still knows it all word for word till this day. But what really captured his interest was that woman, how she looked in her own blood bath. Her guts hanging out, everywhere but inside her. Is this real? No it can't be right? No one would ever...

𓉸ྀི when he saw you, he saw that woman. You both look so similar. Maybe the eye color is a bit off, yours are a tiny bit darker but thats ok, you look just like her! Damn, even the hair!...he can't help but wonder if you would...no that's an unhealthy thought

𓉸ྀི he's 18 now, and for 5 years he was in the dark web looking for stories, pictures and videos like this to feed his constant hunger and need for more blood and gore. But he still knows, murder is wrong. But knowing is something else than doing. They both can go hand in hand, the only thing that's holding them both away from each other is the wall called self control.

𓉸ྀི He does have this wall, it just has multiple holes in it. Blake was no stranger to act on his impulsive thoughts. He cuts his arms sometimes when he wants to feel the pain or see the blood. He even tried the 'save way of cutting your wrist', the thrill of almost dying did send him over the edge....The research did help of course. He even tried choking himself, but that does not really do much for him unfortunately, there's nothing hot to it besides the bruises he left on his neck.

𓉸ྀི But right now the wall he trained to stand against the army of his running thoughts is about to crumble by just looking at you. You'd look so great in red, a deep dark red surrounding you...oozing out of y-no-! This is wrong-! He knows you're so so much more than a body, than a corpse. You have personality...damn you really look like you have a great personality.

𓉸ྀི...w-wait-you looked his way-! WHY ARE YOU SMILING AT HIM-! Was he looking at you this entire time?? Ugh, hes such a creep-! Yes, he knows he's one but he doesn't have to act like one to make it obvious- He's so weird, he doesn't deserve you, he would NEVER deserve you. The only thing that deserves him would be the maggots and the mould, eating his decomposed cadaver.

𓉸ྀི If it's not him, than it's definitely your smile that killed him right there and now, on spot. He's disgusting why are you looking like him. Why do you show interest. Why is he smiling back. And why does he really feel the need to hold you in his arms, and kiss you. A kiss that would probably be the beginning of cannibalism. Drag his mouth and theeth across your chest to taste your beating heart...if he thinks like this then living can be beautiful, and so are living things. I mean...you are most definitely beautiful. And you're alive.

𓉸ྀི But you'd be just as pretty dead, rotting and overcome with mould, having flys around you while your body drys out and sinks....but yeah you're maybe even a tiny bit more beautiful alive. (Much more but he can't say it just yet)

TAGLIST: @lucienbarkbark @hehothrowawayfae

#yandere x you #yandere male #male yandere #yandere x reader #yandere #oc x reader #oc #Blake x reader #x female reader #x fem!reader #yandere x female reader

[destinysbounty]

Hot take but Kai is actually the logician and Zane is actually the emotional one. Like i know theyre often characterized as Kai being emotional and impulsive and Zane being clever and rational, but i think its actually more accurate to say its the reverse. In a lot of ways, Kai is the clever and rational one, while Zane is emotional and impulsive. Sure, in terms of personality Kai is impulsive and reckless and passionate, and Zane is smart and logical and rational, but when it comes to action and behavior?

Yes, Kai is a bit of a hothead and operates on passion, but he is also often the one to think things through and devise a clever plan. He figured out that Lloyd was the green ninja, he devised a plan to defeat the Devourer, he successfully double-crossed Chen as part of an elaborate ruse, he came up with the plan to heat up the Realm Crystal so Morro would let Lloyd go, he was the one who told everyone to be wary about giving up their powers to save Lloyd (bc theyd need those powers to protect Ninjago), he solved the Sphinx's riddle, etc. etc. When faced with the opportunity to meet his father in the past, Kai resisted it, even though he deeply, deeply wanted to.

Kai isnt the most booksmart member of the team, but he IS the most clever. He isnt solely the passion and impulse of the team, and when you think about it he actually tends to be pretty rational. Him attacking Ray? He'd been faced with a lot of evidence to suggest Ray was a traitor, and acted accordingly. Wasting lives in Prime Empire? Most video games with limited lives clearly show you how many lives you have left, and none of them knew how to access that mechanic until Scott showed them, so its reasonable that Kai assumed the respawn was infinite. An incorrect assumption, but a valid one.

At the same time, yes, Zane tends to operate on logic and rationale - but as an inverse of Kai, he also chooses the more impulsive and emotion-driven solution just as often. Following a strange bird on a whim. Choosing to free the leviathan instead of fighting it. Rescuing the falcon from the Stone Army despite the risks. Giving half his heart to Pixal and never asking for it back even though this inhibited his combat ability. Being so distraught by Pixal's deletion that he wished himself away then and there. Becoming so devastated by Cole's death that he couldnt think clearly enough to help devise a plan to stop the Oni. Accurately deducing that freeing the mino of its armor would make it less aggressive.

And of course, sacrificing himself to defeat the Overlord, which as far as we can tell was a very impulsive, emotional decision. As was his spur-of-the-moment decision to push Wu out of the way of Aspheera's spell. There wasnt much thought put into these actions, he just moved based on what his heart told him to do and what would ensure his friends' safety.

Zane is actually an incredibly emotion-driven, often impulsive person, and Kai is very logical and rational. Its all about how they appear on the surface - Kai acts like a dumbass and he is a dumbass, but when push comes to shove and lives are on the line, he knows how to be clever and think things through. And Zane acts very cool and restrained, and is a very smart person, but when push comes to shove and lives are on the line, he will typically make the choice most driven by his compassion.

Idk i just think its so interesting that theyre often characterized one way, but their behavior shows a more complicated story

#ninjago #kai smith #zane julien #kai ninjago #zane ninjago #destiny post

[imsailorpluto]

True Beauty: Kang Sujin character reconstruction

They did out bestie so dirty in this drama, it's time to clean up writer's mess. I don't think Sujin ever deserved such overkill. Turning her into a villain way after the opportunity window closed was so pathetic. Massacring this heroine in such a cliché way calls for serious damage repair, so let's goooo.

Disclaimer: I'm not a writer and this is my first fic ever. English is not my first language, sorry for eventual mistakes. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.♡ the story sounds better in my head but what can we do Thanks @youlookprettywithoutmakeup for sending in a request for Seojun x Sujin content. Also a big thank you to the gifmakers who blessed us all with this inspirational seojun x sujin perfection!

TW: angst, losing friends, mentions of bullying, verbal violence and family abuse

Seojun x Sujin angst

After Sujin moved to the States, the real truth behind that bullying video came out. It was never Sujin's doing, but she left all her friends believe what they wanted. Her life was pretty much crumbling down from the abuse back home and her parents' divorce lawsuit. It felt like the whole world turned its back on her. The final blow was when Seojun accused her of posting that bullying video of Jukyung. Then Jukyung facing her about it, too. Being the only one who's always had her friends' backs, she was hurting more than ever.

- Fine, Seojun, let it be me. Does it even matter? I'm the bad guy. Nobody trusts me. Not even you. I could bend over backwards defending myself for something I never did and it won't change a single thing.

- Something you never did? Get over yourself, Sujin. I know how you feel about Suho.

- Wait, do you seriously think I'd do something as disgusting as that because of a guy?

Seojun smirked hearing those words, shaking his head in disbelief.

- And since when do you think I have feelings for Suho??? Don't you know me?

- Obviously I don't.

They stood there, staring at each other in silence. Sujin's heart was breaking into a million pieces, but she wasn't showing any emotion. Seojun was cruel, even if he didn't mean to be this way. His constant hot and cold behavior towards Sujin confused her, but after he started showing interest in Jukyung, she gave up on him.

-Sujin, I went to Yongpa High, none of those girls knew a thing about the video.

- Wow, congrats! You must be proud of yourself. Trusting Jukyung's bullies... Seriously?! Like you don't know their queen bully is into you.

- Just like you're into Suho. I saw you two hugging.

- You saw that?!

- Yes! I did!

- Then you saw me crying like an idiot too. Great.

- Wait... What?

- I quit the music academy, okay?

- Are you crazy? Why would you do that?

Seojun stood there, his eyes wide in confusion. He couldn't believe his ears. How could she not tell him any of this sooner? After all they've been through. After all those moments she helped him get over their friend's death. Weren't they close enough now, why wouldn't she confide in him?

- You don't know everything, so don't act so smart. Besides, Suho isn't even my type, you pabo. He just saw me crying at the staircase.

- Then explain one thing.

All she could think about was how did she end up in this mess. Now all of a sudden he wants to talk to her? And he's acting all innocent about it.

- I have nothing to say to you, Seojun. Even your lousy accusations can't touch me. If anyone ever did anything bad then it's you chasing a taken girl.

- I wasn-

- Let me know when you stop projecting your problems on others.

- No, you got it all wrong, I don't have feelings for Ju-

- Stop it. I'm tired of this. I don't even care anymore.

He looked at her in silence, heart hurting as well. He couldn't admit his feelings to her like this, not now. He knew he did so many stupid things to catch her attention, but he didn't think it would backfire like this. He also knew something wrong was going on, but her stare was hurting him. He couldn't read her face at all. She looked cold. Serious. He felt like her eyes were literally piercing him.

- I did it. Okay, Seojun? I did all of it. Go spread the word. Oh wait, you did that already.

Frustrated and disappointed, she confirmed the rumors. She didn't want to fight back anymore. It was the first time in her life she considered giving up for a change. Like it mattered, she'd be moving to the States soon. She has already lost everything and everybody she hold dear. This was the last time two of them talked before she left Seoul.

She never told Seojun about her father beating her, she was ashamed of that. She also never told him her father was against her attending the music academy, she was scared that if she ever started talking about it she'd end up telling him everything. Suho was the only one who knew about her family situation, but only because he saw her bruises one time and asked her about it. He promised to keep her secret and she never confined in him again after that. All three of them have been friends since early childhood and she didn't want to do something that might push either of them away.

Sujin was always an artistic soul. She was great at pretty much everything once she set her mind to it. Her singing skills were always advanced, even before she started classes at the music academy. She outperformed almost all of her seniors. No matter the talent, she had to quit singing. Father's orders.

"Singing won't get you to medical school, you're only worth as much as your grades, don't show up home until you come to your senses and quit that idiotic nonsense of yours."

So she quit at the time only to save herself from unnecessary pain. She was done with covering her face full of makeup for school and popping painkillers like candy. It was much easier to quit, at least until her mom got them both out of that mess finally.

Her mom managed to get a divorce eventually. She swore she'd take care of her daughter properly this time, so winning the lawsuit against Sujin's father played a crucial role this time. And she won, which left her with their huge family mansion worth billions of dollars. Sujin's father got a restraining order from court, and after the lawsuit they never heard from him again. Her mom sold everything and they both moved to the States, where Sujin enrolled in music academy once more. Their life was pretty much comfortable, but they've always stayed humble.

Sujin knew she had to go back to visit her friends at Seoul at some point, especially since she was getting so many texts and calls from her two ex besties ever since she left. News on what actually happened and who was behind the video incident spread like fire and cleared all guilt off Sujin. Yet she couldn't get over the fact that all of her friends judged her so quickly. Sooah disappointed her a lot, she never backed her up, not even once. While Jukyung surprised her more than anyone. She was the only one who never believed Sujin did anything wrong, not even when Sujin directly told her it is her doing.

Even though she wanted to spend hours on the phone with Jukyung, and let her know about everything what happened, cutting everyone off seemed rational for the time being. Everything was still too painful for her and she needed more time to heal from the chaos. Falling into unhealthy patterns was no longer an option. Sujin's habits have changed drastically ever since she moved to the States. Volunteering as a math tutor and martial arts teacher was all she did when she wasn't studying. Her taekwondo classes took place in the early mornings, and math classes in the evenings. Slowly, it got her thoughts back in order.

It wasn't until Seojun texted her a whole month after moving that she felt that pit in her stomach again.

Seojun: I'm sorryx Sujong I shoudlvew known

- What's with this pabo? Ah, he's drunk again.

Sujin: Hey Seojun, I hope you're good. I know you've sent me that txt accidentally. Stay well and take care. Don't drink and ride that Ninja of yours, ok?

A few days passed until he finally responded back.

Seojun: Where r u, I need 2cu. Sujin: I'm out of the country, actually. Let's catch up over a video call one of these days, ok? Seojun: Naah, txt me whn u get back :P

She wanted nothing more than to talk to him, to hear his voice. She needed him to be there for her, just like she used to be there for him long ago. If going back there was ever an option, she needed to get better fist, on her own. Thoughts of being back in the city where it all went downhill made her extremely uncomfortable. Besides, her feelings for Seojun confused her, it was too much all at once. This time, she decided to let him go for good. Maybe next time their paths cross, things turn out different.

#true beauty #kdrama #seojun x sujin #true beauty seojun #han seojun #kang sujin #jujin #kdrama fanfic #true beauty x reader #true beauty fanfic #true beauty imagine #hanseojunxkangsujin #true beauty angst #omo i don't know tagging this thing like is this enough? xD #imsailorpluto

[jahayla-parker]

Self-Care Compromise: Tom Holland x Reader

Disclaimer: I do not own the above video, the creator is listed in the video.

Summary: Y/n once again finds her boyfriend Tom to be overworking himself so she takes matters into her own hands to fix it.

Warnings: None, just fluff 💕(other than brief mentions of being burnt out from working too much)

Notes: this is based on many videos similar to the one included where Tommy looks so tired but still fights for the fans.

I felt it was time someone fought for him so 🥺

The ending is not rigid so that if I want to do a part 2 (such as tasks discussed for the next day, etc.) I can 😊

———————

“Thanks Mac!” Y/n says, grabbing the freshly made tea from the barista on the set of Tom’s latest project.

“No problem y/n/n” Mac waves before starting the next order.

Y/n breathes in the pleasant scent of the tea she ordered for Tom as she walks back over to where they planned to meet before they headed back to the hotel.

It had been a long day on set for Tom today. Although, if they were being honest, it had been a really long week for him.

The crew have been working him to the breaking point and instead of listening to y/n’s pleas for him to take a day off, he kept pushing through.

Tom was waiting on the sidewalk by the barricades. He was in his loose sweats, relaxed T-shirt, and beanie.

He couldn’t wait until they made it back to the hotel for the night.

Tom loved his job and his fans. But, he just wanted to rest on the couch cuddled into y/n’s side as they ate take-out and watched stupid reality TV shows while he fell asleep.

At this point, he would give anything to just not have to keep forcing a smile and pretending he wasn’t exhausted. But, as fans began approaching him, he realized he wasn’t going to get that.

Tom took a shallow breath and pasted on a fake smile as his fans came over asking for photos.

Harry felt pity for Tom as he watched his brother. Tom looked like he was going to pass out at any moment but they both knew neither one could say no or mention something about him wanting to leave.

Harry sighted hopelessly as he stood to the side of Tom and his fans. His eyes only looking away when he heard someone else approaching.

Y/N’s eyes were glued on Tom and she wanted to wrap her arms around him and never let him go. He looked so drained.

Hearing a soft sigh, y/n turned her gaze to Harry and nodded in agreement.

“How long has this been going on this time?” Y/n asked as Tom once again forced a fake smile for the fans.

This had happened nearly every day. If he kept at it, he was going to break and get sick. Y/n knew he wanted to make time for the fans, but there’s a line.

Everyday, y/n had found small ways to try and help him with this. He refused to listen to her begging him to rest, but that didn’t mean she was going to give up.

So, instead of arguing, she settled to forcing self care tasks upon him. It had become somewhat of a daily ritual at this point.

Each healthy behavior she started him doing would pile on top of the other so that she was slowly ensuring more of his time was going towards self care.

The typical routine would consist of herbal teas (especially those for relaxation) throughout the day, night time tea upon finishing for the day so he could sleep that night, a healthy homemade breakfast rather than his damn protein shakes, and cuddling while watching the reality tv shows he and Baz had watched in London to help with his homesickness.

She’d even gotten him to start using face masks (sometimes the ones with silly characters to cheer him up) and cold eye masks, weekly hair conditioning treatments she’d apply as he would wash his hair daily due to sweating all day and not being used to his longer hair, using a weighted blanket each night, etc.

While the self care plan may seem successful, there were plenty of failures too.

She had tried implementing them taking walks as it always calmed him, but each time they’d run into fans and it would undo everything.

Y/n also tried working with Nikki and Dom to send Tessa out for a week or two for an emotional support animal therapy type thing for Tom.

But, while here, Tessa was too energetic and excited and managed to urinate all over the hotel floor when seeing Tom. It only got worse from there as she chewed on his set lists, socks, etc.

Tessa only ever did these things when nervous; a rarity for her. Y/n was certain Tessa had picked up on Tom’s energy.

The warmth from Tom’s tea seeping into her palm brought y/n’s attention back to the present moment.

Tom was looking over at her in between photos, his eyes delicate but missing their usual light.

Tom’s smile for the photos and fans may have been forced, but his smile to y/n when their eyes met wasn’t.

It wasn’t his normal smile by any means, but he’d always have enough in him to give her at least a tiny smile.

Y/n gave him a sympathetic smile and sighed.

“I’ve got to do something Baz” y/n groaned.

“We can’t. People will have a field day with it and will attack us” Harry frowned.

Y/n nodded and felt a small wave of hope upon seeing the last fan thanking Tom and leaving.

She let out a sigh of relief and handed Tom the tea with one hand while the other went behind his back to hold him to her.

Tom let out a deep breath as he tucked his head into the crook of her neck.

“Tommy, we’ve got to figure this out. You’re overdoing it” y/n says as she feels Tom’s lip quivering on her shoulder.

Tom was silent but nodded his head against her skin.

Y/n smiled softly, glad he was at least on the same page now.

“Okay, so here’s the plan” she says, stepping back to look in his eyes.

Tom lifted his eyes and y/n’s heart broke even more as she noticed his watery gaze.

“Oh love” y/n frowns, reaching up to stroke his face.

“I love you” Tom whispers, his voice weak.

“T, I love you too. We’re going to fix this. Tonight though, let’s just go home and-“ y/n says, running her thumb gently under his eyes.

However, her instructions were cut off when another group of fans approached.

Tom closed his eyes briefly to compose himself so they wouldn’t see.

Y/n sighed and held his face in her hands, “baby, you do not need to do this”.

He shrugged and sighed before forcing on a smile, “do I look okay?”

“No” y/n said causing Tom to freeze in shock.

“Tom you’re always gorgeous. But no, you don’t look okay. Because you’re not. I’m done with this, I’m handling it. Now” she says, letting go of his face and placing her hands on her hips.

“Love, I appreciate it but I’ll manage” Tom says as a yawn ironically escapes.

Y/n gives him a knowing look and he bites his lip. He is beyond appreciative of her and her protectiveness over him.

However, he knows his publicist and agents would lose it if he told fans that he didn’t feel like doing photos.

He’d told her this in the past and she argued that she could do it herself then. Tom then told her that he didn’t want her to get hate from the fans even though he appreciated the offer.

While looking into her eyes, Tom realized she was past the point of caring what happened to her anymore.

It was a feeling he knew well. Whenever people would get too close or aggressive to her in public, he was the same way.

“Hey guys” y/n said, trying to sound like she was in a good mood but also demonstrating she was needing them to listen.

The fans greeted her and then promptly asked to speak to Tom.

Y/n shook her head, making eye contact with Harry and nodding towards Tom’s security guard.

Harry nodded once and walked over to explain to the security guard what needed to happen.

It was clear to Baz by her body language that she was done with Tom being overworked and wanted to ask the fans to give him space and time.

Harry told the guard he wasn’t exactly sure if y/n wanted him to help should she get hurt in response or if she wanted him to help get Tom out of the area instead. He had his suspicions and upon looking back at her, she nodded her head backwards in nonverbal confirmation that she wanted Tom out.

Y/n had been calmly trying to explain to the fans how hard Tom had been working. She was hoping they would then understand how he was feeling and let him be.

And, some of them did. Others did not get the point and instead cheered and still asked for photos with him.

Upon the security agent approaching Tom, y/n sighed and explained to the fans he would not be staying today.

The fans began mumbling and arguing but it wasn’t clear what they were saying.

Tom’s security had him gripped by the upper arm but he was defiantly staying planted where he was.

He was not going to leave her.

Tom whispered in argument to his security that he would not be leaving until they got her out of her.

Y/n turned around and used her eyes to plead with him to leave. Once he was in the car, she was planning on thanking the respectful fans and then joining him.

But, despite his very visible exhaustion and desire to leave, he wouldn’t part from her side.

Tom tried to get closer to her but his security had a firm grip on him.

Just as y/n was about to rush her thank you message to the fans so she could drag him to the car herself, she noticed the guilty look on his face and saw his muscles twitch the way they do when he started getting a headache.

It was only then that y/n realized how loud the fans/scene was.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped closer to the fans, Tom’s fingers instinctively reaching for her and brushing against her wrist in an attempt to stop her.

Y/n turned her head slightly to see him and blew him a soft kiss before facing the fans again.

“Hi guys, please try to speak softer” y/n says, waving at them to get their attention.

Some of the calmer fans complied, but the others only started asking more questions.

“Please. I know you guys want to see Tom and he loves you all. But his head is hurting so loud noises as great as it is to see how excited you all are, it is making it worse” y/n sighs and the fans instantly stop their comments.

“He’s been working so hard on this project for you guys and as much as he’d love to have time to spend with you all, he needs to rest. He’s been pushing through daily and it isn’t good for him, so please respect that he is going to be leaving right now” she adds, the fans all seeming to hang onto every word.

“Tom wouldn’t deny you guys the chance to meet with him, even when it is detrimental to his well-being. So I’m stepping in to do that for him. Feel free to respond as you wish to that. But, we are leaving now to get him home to rest either way. I just plead that you realize he needs this but that he still appreciates you all. Thank you” y/n says, turning to face Tom.

Tom can feel the tears in his eyes again as his girlfriend pleads with his fans and soon enough his vision of her is clouded and blurry.

Tom shakingly reaches his hand out to her as she approaches him.

He gives her a grateful smile and kisses her cheek when she’s close enough.

“Y-you.. thank you darling” Tom whimpers, slipping out of the guards grip and into her embrace.

“I’m always here T, regardless of who I have to piss off to do so” she says, holding him closer to her as they walk to the car.

As y/n walks, she keeps her eyes down on the beautiful boy holding onto her, his head tucked down to rest on her chest as they make their way to the car.

“Here” y/n says, reaching for the cup of tea that is awkwardly pinched between his arm and her body.

Tom looks up and shakes his head, “I want it”.

Y/n giggles sweetly at him and nods, moving her hand from his cup and then up to his head as she starts stroking his hair.

Tom blushes and gives her a soft smile; genuine but still minimal due to his exhaustion.

“Why don’t you sleep baby?” Y/n whispers as Tom lays his head on her shoulder when they get into the car.

Tom’s eyes remain slightly closed due to the sheer weight of them at this point, but they never leave y/n’s face.

“‘m wanna spend time wi’ you” Tom says, his accent causing his words to blend excessively.

Y/n grins over at him and kisses his cheek.

“Rest on the drive and I’ll wake you when we get to the hotel” she assures him.

Tom lovingly nods and lets his eye completely close.

Y/n smiles down at him, happy he is finally sleeping.

She doesn’t risk kissing his cheek as she doesn’t want him to wake up so she settles for lowering her head to rest on his as he snores softly.

Since her head is resting on his, she can’t see his face so she lets her eyes settle on his hand laying on her thigh.

She smiles as she sees the rings she bought him starting to show signs of wear from how often he has them on.

One of the rings she got him -his favorite ring- has an engraving on it facing his palm. By now, it is slightly faded as he tends to rub over the engraving with his thumb when nervous or missing her.

Y/n makes a mental note to take it to the store tomorrow while he’s on set and therefore can’t have it on.

Usually Harry has it on him so when Tom’s between shoots or scenes he can put it back on briefly.

You’d think it were a wedding band with the way he treats it and always wants it back on, but it’s not.

That doesn’t stop him from being enamored by it as it holds an important meaning to him.

Not only is the ring from the woman he loves more than anything in the world, it also has a special message on it.

The engraving on the back of this ring is the coordinates of where they first met.

She knew she’d have to tell Tom she was taking it from Harry because he’d panic if he didn’t have it when he went to put it on between takes.

She’d prefer to do it as a surprise for him, but she’d settle for him being relaxed.

Hopefully though, there will be a longer scene that would take an hour or so to get through so she could sneak it back in place before he’d be done.

“Are you scheming?” Harry whispers, turning to look back at them from his position in the front seat.

Y/n snaps her eyes up to him and smirks, “no. Not technically. But I’d like to get his ring re-engraved and cleaned tomorrow as a surprise”.

“You think he won’t notice it’s gone? Y/n/n he almost yelled at me when I left it in the trailer instead of on me once” Harry laughs quietly.

Y/n rolls her eyes and turns her head to kiss Tom’s head softly now that she’s sure he’s in deeper sleep and less likely to be prompted to wake up.

“It shouldn’t take more than thirty minutes. Is there any scenes we can take advantage of?” She asks, stroking Tom’s hair.

“You two are cloyingly endearing” Harry groans despite a smile on his face, “yes we can make it work”.

Y/n smiles and whispers a soft thank you, briefly looking up at Harry.

Harry nods, “thank you. For all of that, and this, and everything” his arms waving around as if pointing to the different scenes.

Y/n blushes and tucks her head closer to Tom’s as they continue their way to the hotel.

———

“Okay, so we’ve got a panda one, a cat one, and a… I think it’s a unicorn.. one” y/n says, holding up the three face sheet masks to the boys.

Tom smiles up at her from his position on the couch. When they got back, y/n had asked him to get into more comfortable clothes after he took his desired shower while she went and got them all takeout with Harry.

Harry had entered the living room before her so that he could set the food down as she went to grab the face masks.

“‘mm either love” Tom grinned as he shuffled in his seat so she could join him.

“Okay, unicorn it is” y/n giggled, tossing him it. “Baz?”

“Panda obviously” Harry shrugged and say down next to Tom.

“Eh, that’s y/n/n’s spot” Tom whined, shoving his brother.

“Tom it’s fine, I want to change first. So, he can sit there for a moment” y/n laughed, trying to have him compromise with Harry.

Harry smirked. Y/n and Tom were both certain he’d taken her seat on purpose to start trouble but after the chaos of today, neither cared to argue.

——

Tom looked up from his dinner as y/n walked back into the room wearing his sweats and her sleep shirt, a smile forming on his tired face.

Y/n smiled at him and kissed his forehead as she grabbed her to-go container and settled in next to him; noting Harry had moved to his own seat.

Tom adjusted the blanket he had until it covered her shoulders and she leaned against him to rest her head on his shoulder as she slowly ate.

Tom sighed in bliss as he pulled her closer with his free hand as he took another bite.

He was so thankful to be home and resting. He had only her to thank for making that possible. And he had, a lot.

It felt like he was thanking her each and every single step up the stairs to their hotel room.

She didn’t need his gratitude, she just needed to know he was okay and safe. Tom however, needed her to know how much he appreciated it.

The compromise? Her accepting his compliments and grateful sentiments anytime he came up. Tom happy knowing she was aware how he felt and showing his appreciation through nonverbal cues instead.

—-

While the three of them were watching tv, Harry stepped out of the room for a moment to take a call.

“Love?” Tom asks tenderly, his fingers dancing over y/n’s hand.

Y/n hummed in response, looking over at her boyfriend.

“Are they being kind?” Tom whispered, pointing to her phone.

Y/n furrowed her eyebrows briefly until she realized what he meant; the fans on the internet.

She nodded, stroking his face as she reassured him “actually yeah. Obviously they were understanding you need a break, which is good because if they hadn’t been I probably would have been banned from Twitter…”

Tom blushed and laughed in agreement. There was a reason he never used Twitter.

“But they also haven’t been as bad as I was expecting towards me” she shrugs, “I mean even when nothing happens we both get random hate comments, but this isn’t anything drastically more than normal”.

“I’m glad… but there should be a normal” Tom frowns snuggling closer to her warmth.

Y/n hums in agreement as she plays with his hair. It’s still silky but he could use another conditioning treatment tomorrow.

“Hey, uhh, y/n/n, have a sec?” Harry asks, re-entering the room.

Tom gives Harry a questioning look but y/n simply nods and kisses Tom’s cheek as she detangles herself from him.

Tom pouts as he watches her cross the living room to Harry.

Harry whispers something to y/n who only nods and takes the phone from him before stepping out.

Tom glares at his younger brother, “who is it?”.

Baz laughs and rolls his eyes, “mum you Div. She wanted to talk to y/n for a moment”.

—-

“No dear, I’m completely sincere about this. I cannot express how relieved you made me today. I’ve been seeing that look of exhaustion on his face for days but he would not listen to me” Nikki states.

Y/n bites her lip, feeling guilty that Nikki thinks Tom is safe with her there even though he was fighting her on this matter.

She sighs, “yeah… to be fair. He wouldn’t listen to me either. He’s been a bit stubborn”.

Nikki laughs, “he usually is. Harry told me that Tom’s been doing self care things though because of you. So even if he just started listening today, at least his care for you caused him to cooperate”.

Y/n fights a blush and smiles to herself, “I’m really happy he did, he was stressing me out. I hate seeing him overextend himself”.

“I know you do dear. We are so blessed that you guys have each other. Please be sure you’re not overdoing it either, even if with the intent of helping him” Nikki pleads.

“I promise, I’ll be careful” y/n agrees.

“Good because we care about you both and you guys need each other. I will let you get back to your night, I just wanted to thank you verbally” Nikki says, referring to the fact the two had texted on this matter earlier today.

“Always. Did you want to speak with Tom?” Y/n asks, turning around to walk back inside. “He’s awake but relaxing on the couch presently”.

“Oh, sure then. Thank you y/n. Love you dear” nikki says, a smile evident from her tone.

“Love you too, here he is” y/n says, handing the phone to Tom who hasn’t left the couch.

Tom smiles at his girlfriend and tugs her hand to get her to sit with him.

As Tom talks to his mom, his grip around y/n tightens as he sinks further into the couch.

Even if Nikki was mostly scolding him for not taking better care of himself, speaking with her, while holding y/n was everything to him in that moment.

He had the most amazing support system and wouldn’t trade it for anything.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fluff #my writing #tom holland x y/n #tommy baby #Tom holland x gf!reader #Tom holland tired #Tom holland fans #Tom holland TikTok #Tom holland self care #Tom holland sad #Tom holland hurt comfort

[the1975attheirverybest]

hi! longtime lurker, first time commenter and i need your help with something. i made a tiktok video about a recent 1975 show i went to and someone left a comment saying “he’s a racist but sure” referring to matty and i feel conflicted about their comment because while i don’t believe that’s true, i also don’t know if my love for the band and for matty has made me quick to dismiss some of his more problematic behavior. i know you’ve talked a bit on here about wrestling with this and i was curious if you would mind sharing how that process has been for you and where you’ve landed with it. thanks in advance :)

Hiii 💗 thank you for reaching out.

Yeah, this is something that came up a lot for me last year and earlier this year with the whole podcast drama. I’ve spoken about it in great detail before but since the tags STILL 😡 don’t work on here I can’t find the posts.

I think it’s ultimately a personal choice that you have to make for yourself. I won’t tell you what to think or do, but I can tell you how *I* think about it.

It’s normal to question yourself, I think. I mean, none of us really know Matty on a personal level, right? I think o wondered if, like, my love for his work and attraction to him had blinded me to some bitter truths about who he is. And I tend to pride myself on critical thinking and always talk about nuance on here, so what kind of person would I be if I didn’t practice what I preach, right? I took a step back and examined it all.

I went back through interviews, stage “speeches,” tweets, jokes, etc. saw them IN CONTEXT (cuz we all know how the internet loves to take stuff out of context and twist its meaning), thought about each instance and whether I perceived it to be harmful, bigoted, etc. or not, and kinda decided from there. I went through each and every single accusation, looking at it in context, thought about it, heard the arguments, and made my decision.

The conclusion that I came to after this examination, looking at actual evidence and the actual words that he used and the situations that he’s used them in, is that he’s not racist. Not at all.

A racist person wouldn’t write songs like Loving Someone, LIIWMI, etc. mind you this all happened in 2018, NOT the summer of 2020 when it was suddenly hip and cool and profitable for celebrities to be “woke.” I think he has a career-long record of showing exactly who he is. Whether it was in his best interest to do so or not.

I also found, through this digging and thinking about it, that he has his blind spots (as every human being does). He’s insanely privileged and doesn’t always seem to realize how his privilege has molded his experience of the world. The nepo-baby argument that he always makes is a great example of this. His stance on gender is also another example. So, as a result of his privilege, he will sometimes do or say things and assume that everyone will understand them the way that he does, and that’s not always the case.

To be clear, I’m not saying he’s naive. He’s not. But sometimes he assumes that the things that are common sense to him are common sense to everyone else. Maybe to some people those blind spots of his are too much. That’s fine.

In the end, what matters to me is that he be someone that I can stand behind. I can have faith in. I can believe is a good human being. Even if he does make mistakes sometimes. And I believe that to be true. He’s not bigoted, he’s not racist, he’s not a bad person. He speaks his mind. He stands up for what’s right even when it gets him into trouble. He’s smart, he’s self-reflective, he’s kind. BUT he’s a human being. He’s flawed. He says things too quickly without considering the consequences sometimes, he gets caught up in situations and feelings. He’s not perfect. And that’s okay. To me it is anyway.

It’s possible to disagree with someone and still love and support them. As long as the thing we disagree on isn’t “should black people have rights?” “Are women inherently inferior to men?” “Do queer folks deserve human rights?” Then it’s perfectly okay for him to sometimes do or say things that I wouldn’t. I have no expectation of him to be like 1000% flawless every single moment or every single day. Nor do I expect him to be in complete agreement with me all the time.

To be clear, supporting him doesn’t mean making excuses for him or looking the other way when he does do something “wrong.” I have called him out on stuff before and I will continue to do so. I guess I just don’t think that the occasional mistake makes him a bad person. And maybe that’s not right. But I know I’ve made mistakes before. And if it weren’t for the kindness of others who took the time to show me that I was wrong and to teach me, I wouldn’t have learned to grow.

Maybe that’s not for everyone. That’s okay. There are other artists who strive for that kind of flawless image. Perhaps those are better suited for people who dislike Matty’s way of doing things.

Ultimately it’s really down to what you believe him to be and whether or not you think you can, in good faith, support him. So, above all else, I would say tune out what the world thinks for a bit and find out what YOU think. Everything else will fall into place after that.

[unethicalexperiments]

can u explain what u mean by band member behavior/being let down by gd? i think i might be out of the loop

of course but i will say this is probably all stuff you already know and none of it is **that** bad comparatively speaking it’s just that i take this very personal lol

with bja first and foremost the reaction he had to his son sexually assaulting a teenage girl when he used to preach feminism and women’s safety back in the day. but being realistic how the fuck are you supposed to react to your son sexually assaulting a teenage girl. what are you supposed to say? i don’t know. but what i do know is his reaction was not the way to handle it with ignoring it entirely and then throwing said son a pandemic wedding and buying him a beach house. and then writing a song called “cunt” with your side project band about the situation. sarah @ scrunchie zine has done such better write ups on this situation than i ever could and i would recommend reading what she wrote not only because she’s a very talented writer but because she was also way more directly involved with that scene than i ever was.

in addition to all this, some of his behavior otherwise has been a little 🧐 to me anyway such as taking tiktok videos with twenty year old girls who do tarot readings for a living or whatever driving around in their car and getting violently angry when people point out he’s had cosmetic surgery LMFAO. none of these things are major offenses it’s just eyebrow raising imo. i’m saying this as someone who has had plastic surgery. you need to be honest about the fact you’ve had cosmetic procedures especially when you’re in an influential position. dying your hair and getting botox is not the end of the world many people in that age range with the disposable income to do so do that stuff. you’re allowed to age how you want just be honest about you know.

as for mike, all of this is me just taking it VERY personally. the absolute passiveness towards the behavior of his wife is inexcusable to me. and yes i know i should not be going hard on her because she is not a member of the band she’s simply a bystander in the orbit but the shit she says is outright disgusting. from the rampant transphobia, the anti vax conspiracies, the covid misinformation and “”doing your own research””, the very obvious body-checking, flashing wealth she didn’t earn, the backwards ass political opinions, at one point she was posting fucking conspiracies about the CERN collider?? like are you serious? anyway. for a woman who survived breast cancer (and i believe a double mastectomy? please correct me if i’m wrong) to talk about medicine and doctors the way she does makes me so violently angry because THOSE PEOPLE SAVED YOU. WITHOUT THEIR HELP WITHOUT THEIR MEDICINE WITHOUT THEIR RESEARCH YOU WOULD BE DEAD. and again i know i’m taking this personally not only because i would have LOVED to receive real treatment when i begged doctors for medical help BUT BECAUSE I WORK IN FUCKING MEDICAL RESEARCH. YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE RESTRICTIONS IN PLACE THE AMOUNT OF OVERSIGHT WE HAVE THE AMOUNT OF EYES ON EVERYTHING THE AMOUNT OF ACTUAL REAL FUCKING RESEARCH WE HAVE TO DO. AS IF THIS BITCH WOULD GET PAST AN INTRO TO RESEARCH METHODS CLASS WITH THE SHIT SHE SHARES ON HER FUCKING INSTAGRAM STORIES. GODDDDDD ok i’m moving on from that. the transphobia is also not something to be taken lightly because again not only are trans women women who deserve to be treated with respect and dignity the same as any other person on this fucking planet but you do know that laws harming trans women directly harm cis women too, right? right?? like your fucking mastectomy that saved your life? anyway i would rather be in a bathroom with any trans woman than his wife. but honestly i am going way too hard on her right now this isn’t about her. its about the passiveness from a man who made his money in a band that supported trans rights, women’s rights, etc to let the person standing by his side behave like this. and again like what the fuck do you do in this situation besides telling your wife to get the fuck off social media. and i’ve seen some people be like “oh cancer treatment is so rough it probably did irreparable damage to her brain” and like yes cancer treatment is rough! no one is denying that! but my aunt did not become a right wing fanatic posting anorexia selfies after her double mastectomy! i looked up to mike sooooo much when i was young not just for what felt like level headedness but also he was the inspiration for me to start playing bass. it hurts. anyway.

as for tre there isn’t much to say here besides more 🤨 behavior with regards to hitting up a woman on instagram in her late 20s while he was in his 40s. is that a world ending age gap? no. is it fucking weird that he’s on wife who is younger than him #3? a little. it’s just Man Behavior. like why can’t you get a woman your own age lol.

anyway! these are my main problems outside of the music itself. i’m sure i’m missing stuff but i really do have to get back to work lmao i may or may not come back to this later.

#asked #green day #sorry 🤷‍♀️

[butlerbarbsdevilgram]

MC’s Confession

Hello to anyone who happens to stumble across this fic. I just started this account after writing this fic when I was bored one night. Please feel free to leave me any constructive comments/feedback on any fics I post. Since I’m new to this, I’m still trying to find my footing. With that, please enjoy this fic!

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Pairing: GN!MC x Barbatos

(I tried to keep this gender neutral, since this is my first fic please let me know if I made any errors in this regard)

warnings: none

contains: fluff, SFW, one shot.

word count: 1853

Description:

MC wants to open up about their feelings towards their beloved butler friend. Does he possibly feel the same way as them?

Story begins under the cut~

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The Devildom had been your home for almost a year now. It’s funny to think of a once scary place now feeling like home. Everyone around you had been nothing short of accommodating. If you were being honest, you had never expected a lot of things to happen during your stay. For example, watching the literal Prince of Hell play video games with Levi was definitely one of those unexpected things. Least of all though, you hadn’t expected to fall for the Demon Prince’s royal butler. Barbatos had started out as a bit of an enigma to you. It was hard to gauge what he was really thinking. Understandably so, you knew his behavior was due to his line of work. He had sworn to serve and protect Diavolo. This meant he had to be the image of perfection at all times, while also keeping his conversations direct and to the point. Maybe it was the air of mystery he had about himself that had originally caught your attention. 

You wondered to yourself, when did you start to fall for Barbatos? You couldn’t really say, it just kind of happened over time. Afternoon invitations for tea, evening strolls through the garden, accompanying trips to the market. It was all these small moments spent alone with him that made your feelings toward the butler grow. Time spent with him never feeling long enough. You weren’t ever one to complain though, it was clear he was a busy demon. Knowing that he wanted to spend his small amount of free time with you made it worth it. It was your assumption that originally these invitations were extended to get to know the human exchange student better. Often stating he wanted to make your time in the Devildom as comfortable as possible.

Considerate, you thought. This word was the first thing you thought of when you pictured Barbatos. He always made sure to put your needs before his own. Whether that was a habit from assisting Diavolo his whole life, or something he chose to do for you in particular, remains uncertain. You’d catch him gazing upon you from across the room, watching to make sure you were enjoying yourself. Barbatos was somehow one step ahead of you, always knowing exactly what you needed before you even realized it yourself. 

Over the months, you found yourself coming to him requesting his aid. Barbatos would always oblige with your requests too. Never questioning why you’d ask him over one of the brothers. Whether it was to help with your homework, or to teach you how to cook Devildom cuisine. Somehow, some way, he always found the ability to make time for you. Figuring out how he was always able to do this was a mystery, but you were appreciative either way. During this time, you started to notice little changes in Barbatos. Gone were days of formal conversation, replaced with warm laughter and conversation about each other's lives. He often inquired about what your life was like back in the human world. To no surprise, he was the most curious about different human world cuisines. Every now and then, you swear you’d catch a small blush creeping across his cheeks when you’d point out how endearing his enthusiasm was. It seemed he was just as curious about you as you were of him. It was clear he was becoming more comfortable with you. He was slowly starting to show parts of himself he seemingly kept hidden from others. 

As time passed, the days you spent together brought you to this one. It was a lazy Sunday, you had decided to pick up your D.D.D. to send Barbatos a message asking if he would be free for tea sometime this week. Needless to say you were a bit surprised when he replied so quickly saying he would be free in an hour, and you were welcome to come over then. You knew this day would come, the day where you would admit your feelings towards the butler. It took weeks of internal debate, and countless pep talks from Asmo to convince you that you just had to do it. Asmo had been the only one whom you confided in. Really though, it was just due to him calling you out about your little crush. He had been encouraging you to confess for the last month. He hated (and was terrible at) keeping secrets. The sooner it was out there, the sooner he could share the news with everyone and rub in their faces that he was the first to know. This was something he would laugh at, knowing it would drive some of his brothers crazy.

While Asmo talked your ear off about some new hair product, your mind started to wander again. Could Barbatos possibly feel the same way about you? Would he even want to pursue a romantic relationship? He already had  so much on his plate to begin with. Shaking these negative thoughts from your mind, you knew whether his feelings for you were mutual or not, you wanted to be honest with the one demon who had always given you that same honesty back. Before you knew it, the hour had passed and it was time for you to head over to the castle. Asmo shot you a wink from the front door, telling you not to back out or he’d just tell Barbatos himself. It was a truly dreadful thought, you couldn’t help but laugh at him while waving goodbye.

Greeted at the front door, Barbatos stood before you with a gloved hand brought up to his chin and a slight frown starting to form on his face. He quickly offered an apology that the tea wasn’t quite ready yet. With this information, an idea formed in your head. After walking into the kitchen you ushered him to sit while you finished preparing the tea. Something he would typically detest on a normal day. Despite never having been one to sit idly by and be waited on, he must have sensed your determination because he agreed with less of a fight than you expected. You found yourself standing at the counter picking out the perfect teacups, turning to him with a smile saying that even he deserved a break once in a while. Barbatos let out a soft laugh, saying he supposed it would be okay just this once. Turning back to the kettle that was on the stove top, away from his direct eye contact, you took a few deep breaths. This was it, now or never. Today is the day you tell Barbatos of your feelings.

After you had finished preparing the tea, you grabbed the cups and tea pot, crossing the kitchen over to the table he was sitting at. The table was seated next to a large window that overlooked the garden. The moon was high in the sky, casting a pale light onto the demon in front of you. The moonlight perfectly illuminates his eyes. He may not know it, but you couldn’t think of another more striking than himself. At this sight, a smile flashed across your face. Barbatos was quick to thank you for the tea while inquiring about the sudden smile that ran across your face. Well, you thought, here goes nothing. With one last deep breath, you spoke.

“Barbatos. Do you know why I wanted to make this tea for you?” your voice had been a bit shaky. You could just hope he hadn’t noticed it. Before he could speak, you spoke up again. “It’s for always being there to help me. For always showing me nothing but kindness and patience. I may not have all the skills you do, but I know I can confidently do this much for you.”

Barbatos’ eyes never once left your face. You could feel the blood rushing to your cheeks, surely turning a rosy red by now. 

“MC, I do these things not because it is my duty, but because I care for you. More than you may realize. And please, give yourself more credit. You’ve learned many skills in your time here.” He spoke firmly, but still with the same gentle tone he had always used.

“Barbatos, I…I’m truly grateful to hear that.” Your eyes were fixated on the teacup in your hands below you. Too nervous to look up at him. Was this his way of telling you your feelings were not one sided? Maybe, but there was only one way to know for certain. 

“I need to tell you something…” you began. “The days we’ve spent together mean so much to me. Not just because I am learning all these new things, but because I get to spend this time with you. Over the months, I’ve found myself counting down the days each time until I can see you again. This time is so precious to me. Whether we are together for 10 minutes or a couple hours, I cherish every second of it.” You gathered all your courage to look up at him directly, and you were met with a fond gaze, one you had seen many times. The same one that always made your heart skip a beat. 

“MC I-” Barbatos began 

“I love you, Barbatos.” You cut in. “I don’t know when this feeling started, and I understand if you don’t feel the sa- '' You were abruptly cut off. The feeling warm of lips pressing against your own. At some point in that brief moment, Barbatos had swiftly moved to your side. 

After pulling back, his gloved hand tilted your chin to look up at him. Smiling down at you, looking into your eyes he spoke quietly, just audible enough for you alone to hear.

“I love you too, MC. I am honored to know that I am the one you wish to give your heart to. I want to always be by your side, to care for you and protect you. I will do my best to make sure you never regret opening your heart to me.” He couldn’t help but chuckle as he watched the way your expression relaxed.

You weren’t able to stop the blush on your face. A sense of relief slowly washing over you, excited to know he felt the same way. Before you could open your mouth to speak again, you felt a soft, gentle hand touch your cheek. When did he remove that glove? He was so sly, you thought. Leaning into the touch, you began to let your eyes drift closed, offering up a shy smile. Before you knew it, you felt his warm lips against your own. The taste of tea ever so slightly lingering on his lips. The musky scent of a cologne Diavolo gifted him many birthdays ago radiating off his clothing. You wanted to commit it all to memory. This was a moment to treasure. It was a moment you were sure would lead to many more beautiful memories worth cherishing. This was just the beginning of something that would last a lifetime, you both knew it. 

#obey me #obey me barbatos #barbatos x reader #barbatos x mc #obey me shall we date #barbatos #happy ending #barbatos obey me #om! barbatos

[sundownsquad]

Second Anniversary Asks #4 — @twisted-falcon

Q: Who’s the best at work with/training the ottas?

Kess: Knox. Nitsani: Knox! Drums: Knox is amazing with the ottas Speedy: yeah knox for sure Knox: Oh wow, thanks guys! I was about to say Nitsani 😂 Nitsani: Thanks! 😆 Being a Force sensitive certainly helps to connect with them, but Knox has a really cool talent for working with them and is so dedicated to their care and training! Drums: The ottas follow Knox around like little tooka kittens, they love him. We rarely have to put a lead on them because of it.  Kess: He also has a special bond with them since he was the one who bought them from that merchant. I honestly think they could tell how much he cared about them and they really latched onto him after that. Speedy: and knox understands the ottas behavior and thinking on a level i dont think i ever will Speedy: hes very intuitive actually Knox: Thanks guys 🥺 Drums: He spent a ton of time learning about the ottas when he got them, too. He’s basically a walking ottabura encyclopedia now. He can tell you absolutely anything about them. Knox: Yeah, Drums was nice enough to let me watch otta videos on the holo in our room every night for, like, two weeks straight. I had so much to catch up on. Ottas are surprisingly complicated critters, let me tell ya. Drums: All that energy and time was well spent, though. The training has gone super well even though none of us have done it before! Knox: So far I’ve only fallen off three times while riding, so I consider that a win lol Kess: In your defense, the ottas were still trying to figure out how to use their legs properly since they grow so fast. Two of those times were definitely because they were tripping over their own toes. Knox: Good point 😆 Knox: Also, I feel like Kess should get an honorable mention here for how he handles the ottas, too.  Knox: One time, we were trying to get the ottas tacked up but they were super wiggly for some reason. Drums and I were trying to get them to chill out but couldn’t get them to let go of that extra energy. Kess saw what was going on and nonchalantly says “Hey, kids.” All the ottas immediately stop what they’re doing to look at him and he just says “Time to work.” They all walked over, sat down in front of Drums and I and stuck their noses out so we could get their halters on. Knox: It’s important to note that we never trained them to do that. Drums: It’s the tonality Kess gets when he’s in sergeant mode. No one can ignore it. Kess: Except Speedy, apparently. Speedy: ✌🏽 Drums: But yeah, Knox is the best at training ottas. So if you need some otta advice, he's your guy.

#Thanks for the ask! <3 #Group chat with the squad #Sundown Anniversary #Sundown Asks #Sundown Squad

[britts-galaxy-brain]

even if the fanfic you say was written by lily was, that doesn't make her a predator. i wrote some horrible pairings between adults and minors when i was big into my artemis fowl phase and i've drawn characters in ways i shouldn't have before. lily having made mistakes in the past doesn't make her a bad person. ee all fuck up sometimes. it's not the important thing. the important thing is that she tries to keep attention off that kind of thing and limits sexual stuff to stuff we can all click off of. if i didn't want to see her stream or watch her videos or whatever, i could and can just hit the back button. yeah, i guess flashing is kinda cringe, but cishet dudes do it all the time and no one calls them predators. it's just a thing some people do. It's not great but it's not anywhere near as graphic as the stuff guys at my school do, joking about raping girls and who they wouldn't fuck even if they were too drunk to see straight etc.

it's maybe five seconds of boobs. that's NOTHING. and it's transphobic that people slam her for this but if guys at my school joke about wanting to facefuck me it's "boys will be boys lol". why should a trans woman get so much more anger for a sexual joke so much more minor? what has she done wrong that the cishet guys who i CANNOT escape with a simple click haven't? i've never seen her flash but if i did it's one click away from being out of my life. the old dude who stares at my boobs in the library is way worse than lily. if she wasn't trans no one would give a damn.

and for your information, she has messaged me after i sent her fanart - and we talked briefly about fanart and how to navigate the tags on a fanart website i use that she's unfamiliar with. that's it. there was nothing sexual, nothing inappropriate, no red flags. just a pretty normal conversation and then she moved on. she's not evil or predatory or whatever. she's just some woman on the internet. all she's guilty of is maybe having written some bad fics and showing a few inches of skin. i've been raped. i know what abuse is. "hey how do you exclude tags on this site anyway? i keep looking for ___ character and only getting art of them with ___" is not abuse.

...Oh my. Yall I'm gonna need some help here.

There are screenshots of Lily's old Tumblr where the first three were linked, Lily talked about it openly, she even used to have a NFSW blog dedicated to it despite the fact that its most notable plot point involved grooming and molesting children and a young teenager. There are also video clips of Lily herself admitting to writing it. She was writing the sequels long into her 20s, which is well beyond the age an adult should be writing about those ages.

The people at your school are just as disgusting and the fact that they aren't getting reprimanded immediately is a sad failure of the adults around you. The adults in your life should be taking that just as seriously as we're taking Lily's behavior. It is just as predatory and sick, and I'm truly sorry the adults in your life are failing at this. I grew up in a similar situation myself, and it was a huge reason I ended up getting involved with adults I shouldn't have been involved with. Much like you, it had become normalized in my head, and I justified the adults who were taking advantage of me. It didn't make it right. They were predators who knew what they were doing, and wanted to manipulate and use me.

Lily uses a lot of maliciously manipulative tactics to get her audience, notably people your age, to sympathize with her. It's a form of emotional manipulation. None of us are transohobic in any capacity, and at least three of the people who are or have called her out for this are trans themselves. Accusing us of transphobia is one of the many lies she tells her audience so she can pretend to be a victim, and manipulate her audience into immediately disregarding us. If she can get her audience to believe we're terrible bigots by playing into their emotions, they're less likely to want to look at the hard evidence and corroborating experiences many of us have had with her.

Anon, I can promise you Lily has been lying to you to keep you around for her own selfish purposes. None of us are right-leaning in any capacity. Many of us are trans or otherwise not cisgender. Many of us aren't straight. Many Natives have spoken out against her. Many black people have spoken out against her. Kinksters have spoken out against her. Just about every group she performatively fights for has called her out for horrendous misinformation, racial fetishization, promoting extreme violence, pathological lying, smear campaigning, sockpuppeting (that she still does to this day by sending herself fake anon asks on a regular basis), zoophilia, and pedophilia. The last two have more than enough hard evidence out of her own keyboard to back up.

I'm truly sorry for what you're going through IRL. What those boys around you are saying is still predatory, still disgusting, and should absolutely be addressed by the adults around you. The fact rhat they aren't doesn't mean what those boys are doing is normal or okay. And it certainly doesn't mean what Lily is doing is normal or okay. People like Lily prey on people in your situation, who unfortunately haven't been shown that this behavior is abusive and horrible. This is what she relies on, and why she refuses to set up a revenue stream on a more adult-oriented website. There are many popular sites where she could be openly sexual with other adults and get paid well for it, but she refuses to go to those sites. It's because she gets off on the audience she has now, which consists of a lot of minors in situations like yours. Her and I are the same age, and I can tell you what she is doing is not something someone our age should EVER be doing. Period. It is predatory, she knows full well it is predatory, yet she's doing it anyway and lying to people so she doesn't get caught.

Please be safe, anon. I know it gets heavy as all hell dealing with what you're dealing with. There are people out here that genuinely do want you safe and I hope you get out of your current environment soon.

#this is heartbreaking #godspeed anon #you'll get out and be okay #you deserve so much better #lily peet #lily orchard #peet post

[nogenderbee]

(Belated) Happy Birthday to you! I wish you the best year ever :3

⊱ What nickname would you call your lover?: something simple, like a short version of their name or “love”

⊱ What are your hobbies? I like playing video games (horror, mystery and dating sims are my fav genres), watching anime and reading manga, drawing fanart and writing fanfiction (even if I am not very good at it), cooking & watching documentaries. Also, I recently began learning how to sew and I’m thinking of learning a foreign language.

⊱ What's your perfect date idea?: going to the cinema; or having a picnic; or shopping together; or visiting an amusement park or a zoo/aquarium; or just staying in, making/ordering all of our favorite food, watching all of our favorite shows and cuddling.

⊱ What's something you hate in others? (like a personality trait or behavior for example): I don't like overly judgemental people and those who refuse to communicate honestly and just want you to magically know what's on their mind or how they're feeling or what they want.

⊱ What are yours main 3-5 (or more if you want!) personality traits?: I am pretty laid back, I enjoy helping others, my friends say i have a warm and gentle personality (💖) but I can be stubborn and insensitive sometimes + not a personality trait, but I prefer girls.

⊱ What's activity/hobby do you like?: besides the hobbies already listed, I enjoy taking long slow walks with no destination point and listening to music.

⊱ What's activity/hobby you don't like?: anything that requires too much social interaction #introvertgang

Awh thank you so much! And of course I paired you with a girl just like you prefer it~

So your pair is...

🥁🥁🥁

Kohane Azusawa!

⊱ so as for short version of her name, it'd probably be "Koha" or so (just my feeling) but "love" also suits her. Expect her to blush at first tho.

⊱ whenever you play muster games ot even horror ones, she loves to watch you. And whenever you watch anime or read manga, she also would like to join you as she probably likes few herself!

⊱ she honestly loves all your ideas! Her favorites ate zoo's and picnic dates tho because she can take some really nice photos! Amusement park dates also are nice because there she can take photos of you on kany occasions, and in the end it's fun even tho it's a bit scary for her.

⊱ she definitely was charmed by your helping nature. As for your stubbornness, it's probably a good thing in your relationship since she can be pretty shy so it allows you to take the lead sometimes and maybe even help her out

⊱ as for long, slow walks, you can be sure she loves them as well! Mostly because she can take few nice photos of not only scenery but you both together, but of course that's not the only reason! She also likes to just walk hand to hand with you while admiring scenery while in comfortable silence or talking about random things that came to your heads

You and Kohane were taking a walk around the park and the city. You were walking for quite a long time now but none of you mind that. You had fun spending time with your girlfriend and she had gun photographing the scenery. She finally came up to you and showed you her photo of butterfly on leaf.

"What do you think Y/N?"

"I think it's good! Great jobs Koha!"

"T-Thank you! Sorry for going somewhere far but I just couldn't help but miss this chance. Can I... maybe take photo of us both now...?"

❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉

#pairing #project sekai #colorful stage #project sekai colorful stage #x reader #project sekai x reader #colorful stage x reader #project sekai colorful stage x reader

[sheepwasfound]

Honestly the only things keeping my neutral are a) logic and b) CC response

a) as in - why in the everloving fuck would a guy as successful as dream lodge a career ending bomb into the hands of the stranger? He's always been excessively paranoid about anything that could endanger his image - this part just does not make sense to me in the slightest. Hell, this thought holds only more true on the assumption that's he's a complete asshole who only cares abt the cash and nothing else - all the more reason he wouldn't do anything to put himself at risk. I'm not trying to sound parasocial at all - its safe to say that none of us can vouch for his morals, especially after all of this. What anyone on earth CAN vouch for is his business sense - and this is a bomb noone in the right mind would consider, especially over the course of several years.

b) CC response - and I agree this is pure theorising. Only at the beginning did some smaller CCs speak up on his abhorrent behavior and they were those who had already spoken negatively of him before all of this. The other CCs have said nothing. Even the CCs that dislike him have since, to my knowledge, said nothing. This is. Very strange for a number of reasons, and coupled with the one above, highly suspect.

Overall, I have major doubts about the instagram dms and is due to lack of rationale - why her, of all people on earth ? Someone who has been previously expressed obsession with a particular cc, and would take immense pride in any and all attention shown to her? I strongly believe that some of the instagram dms are fabricated, especially the latter ones from 2022. I fully believe the earlier ones are real based on confirmation from dream himself.

yeah, these are some of the factors that make this still uncertain for me too. but also gotta remember that sometimes men do really stupid shit when they're horny (as in completely illogical -- even when there's easier ways to relieve the horniness, they still pick the one fucked up thing they're obsessed with instead), and dream might be able to make cc's not talk just by showing them legal action really is happening. still, very weird stuff that definitely lends some context.

the instagram dm's are also a bit interesting in the sense that we know for sure she deleted some of her messages. we can't know if anything else has been deleted, particularly leading up to the snapchat part. personally i guess my best hope would be that just the snapchat part of those dm's is fake, but...that's pretty damn wishful thinking, let's be real. but it's not like the chances are zero.

still, if the snapchat really was shared, we don't know the context of why because dm's leading up to it may have been deleted and we don't know what messages were actually sent in the snapchat app itself. still, sharing a snapchat account to a fan is a major red flag cus of the connotations of the app as the "no proof to show" app. we know that dream just happens to love the app and therefore maybe he wanted to talk on there instead cus he actually uses it, but also, maybe the reason he loves the app is cus he can do whatever on there. there's no knowing. and also why did he want to talk to this fan so badly anyway? her being hot is sort of a more logical reason than the help-me-become-a-streamer messages, and if her being hot is the reason, thennn...you know

however, snapchat isn't fool-proof either, is the thing with that. it's not actually that it's some guarantee no proof will be left behind. how much authorities can recover (especially when allowed access to the actual device the stuff was sent from) is one thing, but also, people can take photos and videos of their phone with another camera and there's no knowing. it's insanely risky to do. snapchat doesn't actually really lend any more secrecy to anything unless you're too dumb to figure out there's so many ways for people to be saving what you're sending. it is hard for me to imagine dream being that stupid (especially with how versed he is with snapchat), but still, he might be

as for why her specifically, there's no answer to that though. the kind of people that exploit their fans in these ways tend to specifically target the people who are very intense fans who won't condemn anything. and he most likely had no knowledge that she had been posting tiktoks of their conversation and stuff like that anyway. then again, in the messages she seemed less like an intense fan and more like someone who was aspiring to become a cc and tried to get some kind of advice or an in. that could still be the type of fan that gets targeted though, because you could use their aspirations to bribe them with things to get things from them. no one is safe really. any kind of fan could fall into these types of things, and it's scary as hell.

but getting falsely accused of it would be fairly scary too, and i believe everyone should be listened to and everyone should be scrutinized. as crappy as that is for everyone involved, it's the only way to the truth. glad legal action is being taken

#sheepy ask #Anonymous #cw discourse

[ohnothehedgepog]

Some headcanons for Eclipse in my AU

Even though Eclipse is from Archie, my AUs tend to be blends of different Sonic media. In this AU, what happened was that the back up Black Arms were about to wipe out Shadow, team dark, and the military squad that was sent to destroy the New Black Comet. Shadow realized though that Black Arms did have a sense of love for those they considered family, it’s just that none of them ever managed to extend that love out to other species before, until him. Shadow fully merged his mind with the hive mind so they could feel what he felt about the Earth and its people. After that they didn’t want to hurt the Earth anymore. The Black Arms decided to go back to space, but Eclipse wanted to stay behind after seeing glimpses of the experiences Shadow had. Shadow and Rouge decided to manage Eclipse’s care after that.

Eclipse is around Sticks’s age. He’s not very mature. Plus it’s funny that Shadow got his ass handed to him by his feral little cousin.

Eclipse had trouble adjusting to the hundreds of little social and legal rules that there are. For example, he eventually learned to share, but had trouble reading what he was doing was wrong. This lead to an instance where he started eating his meal with his hands, and saw that everyone was staring at him. He thought he had to share his food out of politeness and then offered Amy a handful of noodles.

He also ignores safety rules if he thinks they are stupid, only learning when the consequences bite him, for example, running into an intersection without using the crosswalk or following the crosswalk sign and then getting hit by a car.

He eventually befriends Sticks the Badger over their shared dislike of societal expectations. This eventually develops into romantic feelings. Their first meeting went hilariously, with Sticks making up conspiracy theories about what Eclipse was planning as an alien, and then them working together to fight another alien that really had malicious intent, with no one else believing them that the alien was around. Because of this, Eclipse tends to believe some of Sticks’s wild theories from then on, and starts taking after some of her mannerisms, like getting into fights with raccoons at the local dumpsters. Shadow and Rouge try to curb this behavior, but won’t stop him from seeing her because he hasn’t connected to anyone else that much socially. She really does help him develop socially by leaps and bounds, as does Shadow.

Shadow and Rouge kind of fell into parental roles with Eclipse, trying to manage the care of a problem child. Shadow especially had to step up with the big things, even giving him “the talk” at one point after some abstinence idiot gave Eclipse a panic attack by telling him that holding hands with someone you like would make babies, and Eclipse thought that black arms aliens would erupt from Sticks like Xenomorphs (Eclipse knew how black arms larvae and soldiers were made, but didn’t know if maybe other species absorbed DNA by touch or something).

Rouge meanwhile sometimes guides him on how to do smaller gestures, like give gifts and compliments to people. She also figures out ideas and compromises with managing him when Shadow’s stumped. Eclipse keeps in touch with Black Death through video chat. Shadow and Rouge update him privately about Eclipse’s progress. 

#eclipse the darkling #sticks the badger #shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #amy rose #black death #sonic the hedgehog #sth #profanity #text post

[to-be-a-dreamer]

hi yes hello im here to listen to ANYTHING you have to spill about jack !! what were his hobbies when he was alive? what were his experiences in the house? how old was he? did he know about race and charlie before he died? what angsty little details can you spill about our boy

- @we-are-inevitable ✨️

OKAY! I'm going to have to leave some big details out for spoiler reasons, but I really love Jack's backstory so I am very willing to tell you as much as I can!

So! first of all, Jack was 17 when he died in November of 2017, so just keep that in mind for the time period and stuff. His early childhood was entirely in the 2000s, he grew up during the rise of internet culture, but died before a lot of current internet trends.

I think Jack in this au was definitely an artist, but he mostly did sketches. Like, he was one of those kids who had a spiral notebook from the dollar store and drew in it with a 50-cent mechanical pencil all day. And his work was genuinely really good but he had some questionable subjects that made his teachers and social worker slightly concerned.

I also think he would skateboard and play video games like every other teenage boy. He was also in the foster system between the ages of ten and sixteen. (He was placed with Medda at sixteen and officially adopted about a month before his seventeenth birthday)

His experience in the system wasn't great; he had always had "behavioral issues", as his teachers liked to say, and it only got worse after he lost his folks. When he lived with his parents it wasn't that bad because they were very patient and loving with him. They always made sure to validate his emotions and teach him how to express them in a healthy and safe way.

None of his foster families ever cared enough to help him properly, so he quickly became a textbook "troubled" kid and lived in about eight different foster homes over the course of six years.

He had a tendency to steal from convenience stores, skipped class, got into fights, smoked and drank (nothing too bad, but he was literally fifteen so anything would have been bad), and just generally mouthed off at any and all authority figures.

No one had shown any evidence that they actually cared about him in such a long time, and he'd basically given up on trying to do anything with his life. Everyone around him thought he would end up in prison by the time he was twenty, even if they didn't say it out loud. He didn't see any reason to try and prove them wrong. Not when they wouldn't care one way or the other

His longest placement, and the last one before he was placed with Medda, was about two years in a group boy's home. Their caregiver (I'll give you one guess who that was lol) didn't really give a crap about them and Jack was the oldest one there, so he ended up parenting about half a dozen children even though he was only fourteen himself.

That forced him to be more "responsible" and he had to ease up a bit on the skipping and stealing. Because as much as he hated the system, he cared about the other kids. They didn't deserve this and if no one else was going to make sure they had some semblance of a childhood, Jack would do it himself.

So Jack has always had to be more "grown-up" than other kids his age and, while he enjoys normal kid things like skateboarding and video games and watching movies and reading comic books, he's just so used to being constantly on edge.

When he came to Medda, he was tense and skittish and responded to everything with anger. He hadn't been able to be a kid since he was ten years old. She helped him a lot, and he was doing so much better and was actually starting to believe he had a chance to do something meaningful with his life.

The way he died was by no means peaceful, and there are times when he reverts back to his old habits, where he snaps or yells at Race and Charlie because for so long that was his only way of defending himself. But it's gotten easier over the past five years. Not better, just easier. And he instinctively wants to protect the two "younger" ghosts, so that's what he does.

While he lived in the house though, he was so so happy. His parents were great and he loved them so much. He still does. They weren't exactly rich, nowhere near that, but they had each other and that was more than enough for him. He had a good early childhood, and he will always be grateful for that.

I think Jack was always aware that there was something weird about the house while he lived there, but Race and Charlie didn't start really tormenting their residents until after Jack and his family moved out

It was mostly just "oh I could have sworn I left the TV remote in the basket, not on the kitchen table" or "huh the doors and cabinets keep closing on their own. That's weird, must be the wind"

Jack in this au is very much a sad art gay, that's genuinely the best way I can describe him. He's angry at a lot of things, but he can't really do anything about it now. He misses Medda but knows she must hate him for what he put her through. He loves Race and Charlie but hates how they're stuck like this with seemingly no way out. And he likes Davey. He likes Davey a lot but they can never be anything real.

Most of all he's tired. He wants to rest, but he has no idea how to do that, so he just keeps brute-forcing his way through the afterlife, trying to hold together the broken little pieces of this odd family he's been given.

#cw major character death #because ghosts #I accidentally turned this into a Jack Kelly character profile #but ya know what i feel like it fits #thank you thank you for the ask #jack kelly #newsies #newsies live #saf's ghost au #jac tag #saf writes