#also mind you my insecurity is absolutely out of control idk what to do anymore lol.

[thousandlanterns]

,

#i did a very bad thing today. #I'm in the waiting room of the salon waiting to get my hair cut and i need to talk about it! #so today i was having a nice snuggly cuddly morning in bed with my bf and i started sucking his dick n stuff you know like a good gf #but he #although responsive and clearly enjoying it #is totally silent and doesn't really acknowledge me? and idk why but the silence just made my mind start stewing #my issues with ruminating are getting a little out of control mind you #so I'm just sitting there jacking him off giving it my all and just thinking.... what if he's laying there thinking about someone else. #what if the reason he isn't engaged is because he wishes it was someone else #also mind you my insecurity is absolutely out of control idk what to do anymore lol. #so i kinda start to put it away since I'm not getting any feedback from my pov and he's all 'oh what's up I'm waiting for you to climb on up

[sukirichi]

sukirichi’s 2.4k milestone event

weee another milestone and nooo i couldn’t wait for 2.5k because i’m so excited and happy, thank you so much! ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ including HAIKYUU this time around yeeeee! also i don’t have a restaurant aesthetic anymore, just kind of goofing around now! REQUESTS ARE OPEN. 

before you request...

please read about my writings first! it will include the stuff i write and don’t write about. i’m more flexible in nsfw works, so if you really want to try for a kink, just send me in and if the idea is up to my liking, we’ll see how it goes! 

please be patient and nice! if i don’t like the tone of your request or if you’re ‘demanding’ me, aka, “hey, write this for me, this concept...” your ask will immediately be deleted!

no requesting of the same idea to other writers please!

please keep in mind i don’t do too much canon-heavy plots, aka really specific canon events and how they lead up to one another. i don’t read the manga for both jjk and haikyuu ʕっ• ᴥ • ʔっ

I do not do headcanons anymore. I’m not good at them LMAO.

i feel a lot more laid back in my writings now, so i’ll only be taking requests that i want to write for! the accepted requests will be listed down below as i organize them

you may refer to my first milestone event if you want more ideas for AU requests! you no longer need to include the numbers/spices/ingredients format used in that. just send whatever idea you want ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. whichever idea i love the MOST will be turned into a series just because I want to try new things hehe!

— characters i can write anything for (nsfw & sfw)

: gojo satoru, fushiguro megumi, fushiguro toji, choso, ryoumen sukuna, nanami kento

: suna rintarou, kageyama tobio, tsukishima kei, miya twins, kita shinsuke, oikawa tooru, ushijima wakatoshi, bokuto koutarou, akaashi keiji, tetsuro kuroo

— characters i can only write sfw for

: itadori yuuji, inumaki toge, okkotsu yuuta

: kenma kozume

— characters i’m MOST eager to write simp for

: fushiguro megumi, choso, naoya zenin, ryoumen sukuna, gojo satoru

: suna rintarou, kageyama tobio, kita shinsuke, oikawa tooru, akaashi keiji

accepted requests: (only accepting the ones that interest me for now!)

favorites marked as ⭐

RYOUMEN SUKUNA: hello love!! i know it LITERALLY just came out but would you consider a pt 2 or a drabble for sweet lies? where megumi either catches her and sukuna or she genuinely starts moving on uasdfghj i'm convinced that megumi heard her fucking sukuna in the bathroom <3 anyways pls feel free to ignore me too

RYOUMEN SUKUNA: Ma’am , i beg of u ,,, spare husband! sukuna x wife! reader drabble. I just read your arranged marriage AU and lordddd i’m obsessed. How long did it take for him to take her virginity 😳? i’m so curious as to how that went down read here: black magic [02]

⭐⭐ RYOUMEN SUKUNA:  Yooooo how about Rockstar Sukuna seducing his manager ehehehehe~ 

⭐ RYOUMEN SUKUNA: Ok but... pirate captain Sukuna 👀👀👀 I’m havin some Thots ngl 🥵🤤 I can’t decide whether reader should be the first mate and they’re a kickass Power Couple 💪😎or if she should be a stowaway who gets found out and has to pay for her passage with her body 😩😉

OKKOTSU YUTA: We both be weak for yuuta and toge😩 congrats 2.4k btw. so i'll request that for the event! poly!yuuta and toge. i see that you only write sfw for them so fluff. u can think of anything you want for it..and yes we simp for both of them i love them sm🤧

⭐ OKKOTSU YUTA: Hi saw that your request are open and congrats for the 2.4k !! 🎊 if possible can i please request yuuta having a girlfriend that's his childhood friend? (So like instead of rika it's y/n and she doesn't die) that loves to dote on him cause that boy needs some love. Thank you!! <3 | kiss me more

⭐ OKKOTSU YUTA: Hi can i request a scenario in which inumaki and okkotsu gets hit with a curse(?) That makes them a clone but the clone is a kid and seeing their gf taking care of the baby please thank youuu

INUMAKI TOGE: Toge's S/O being so sad that even when he says "smile" it doesn't work( also saw that in TikTok)

⭐ INUMAKI TOGE: Hi can i request a scenario in which inumaki and okkotsu gets hit with a curse(?) That makes them a clone but the clone is a kid and seeing their gf taking care of the baby please thank youuu

INUMAKI TOGE: We both be weak for yuuta and toge😩 congrats 2.4k btw. so i'll request that for the event! poly!yuuta and toge. i see that you only write sfw for them so fluff. u can think of anything you want for it..and yes we simp for both of them i love them sm🤧

⭐ INUMAKI TOGE: Hi! Congrats on 2.4k!!🤩 For the event, may I request an au where reader is Yuuta's sister? Can be gn/fem reader anything is fine. And they fall in love with Toge? Fluff fluff fluff please🥺Maybe they meet one day when she went to visit the school? Or she's a new sorcerer. Aahhhh I can't think of anything so I'll leave it up to your wonderful mind😌 Thank you! And again congrats! | crush

INUMAKI TOGE: SUKI OMG SIREN AU WITH TOGE AND DEAF READERHis voice hypnotizes all who hear it but she’s unaffected and he’s shook lmao 😂 She teaches him human sign language so they can communicate 🥺 maybe when he realizes he likes her he brings her seashells and other shiny things from the sea floor and it’s so cute 🥰 just 🥺🥺 siren Toge 🥺🥺🥺 (DEBATING)

GOJO SATORU: Hello dear Suki! 🤗 congrats on your more than deserved milestone 👏🏼🥳 I know it’s not the restaurant aesthetic anymore but still, thank you for being a Michelin-star chef spoiling the fandom with your food 🤤👀 I’d love to request the following: ingredient 66 with sugar 8 & 9 and Gojou as cherry on top 🥰 some heavy angst with a happy / smutty ending. additional 🍪 for inspiration - „Best friends don’t look at each other the way you look at her. You never know what will happen, tomorrow might be too late“. Have a lovely day dear 💕

GOJO SATORU: Congrats on 2.4K!!!! May I please request a fic where the reader has like. Zero reaction to Gojo? And he’s kinda shook bc people either adore him or hate him, but here’s reader acting like he’s just a normal dude. And he starts falling for her bc he’s never experienced that before

⭐ GOJO SATORU: a reader that likes Gojo but immediately says N O P E bc they clock that he’s at risk of breaking their heart so they just try to avoid getting close to him despite being a teacher stuck with him a lot of the time. And Gojo is just like ??? But I like you??? Why are you always avoiding me? “I’m tired of you acting like I can’t commit to something. Committing to you is easy.”

⭐ GOJO SATORU: ♡Soft nsfw scenario with s/o and gojo while outside is snowing read here: cold

⭐ GOJO SATORU: Ohoho~ another milestone! Congrats~Can I get Vampire!Satoru x Monster Hunter!Reader where he “proves” to her that all of his victims came willingly(I think from the AU choice you’ll know exactly who I am lol 😉)

⭐ GOJO SATORU: hello! first and foremost, congratulations on reaching 2.4k! i love your writing and its just oh my goodness <3 your stories made my heart squeezed! second of all, i'd like to propose a request for a story. fluff/angst (up to you! your way of writing is just superb) mixed with nsfw gojo satoru. a modern business tycoon au where he just lost his wife and is overprotective of his 1 year old toddler. you're his new staff in the office and is treated badly bcs you know, new staff. one day, you stumbled upon your boss and his baby in a shop, who wont stop crying and he took an interest in you when you managed to calm his kid down. he hired you as his babysitter + made you move into his estate. from there, your life changed! also, thank you for accompanying my days with your stories, it's marvelous! 💕

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: okay i thought you might like this idea for the event (or maybe not lol) - naoya coming home to his beloved little housewife and feels like giving her a treat for being such a good girl.,,.,, read: man's gonna re-arrange your guts and have some soft moments with you after (not that he would ever admit that shsghshsj) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | good girl

NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: Stage magician Naoya and his cute little assistant, where every other trick works to undress or strategically rip her outfit so he can show off his little bunny to the crowd before fucking her brainless backstage

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE:  listen ,,,,, ur naoya hate fic goes crazy stupid may i add something. naoya being overprotective like reader is so pretty and many of the clan men look at them a lottttt and naoya out of nowhere will kiss you in front of them or will grab them in front the maids and workers. then reader becomes mad and they get into an argument and then hate fuck :D lmaoo  (THIS REQUEST PLEASEEEE SEND ME TO HEAVEN) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: Omg Suki! Congrats on the 2.4k! So uhmm I decided to take a break from the Kita/Naoya twin au angst 👉👈 idk if you are still accepting requests but HAS ANYONE EVER MENTIONED OR HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED SUGAR DADDY NAOYA????? 🥺 -🌸

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI: Megumi being insecure about his eyes because they are a very light green colour( like in manga) so he wears blue contacts( I saw that on TikTok and... big brain energy)

⭐ FUSHIGURO MEGUMI: SUKI, HI! First of all, congrats on 2.4K you absolutely deserve every single milestone coming your way 💞💞If it’s not too much to ask may I request a one-shot with megumi where he’s jealous that his fem!crush is spending more time with Itadori and sees how she enjoys his company a lot but it’s purely platonic? Reader likes megumi too and they both need that push in the right direction?Thanks so much if you decide to write this 🥺💖 I seriously love your writing and your big brain sm

CHOSO: Could you write something with Choso and the reader that has a toxic mother (if that actually exists.  She controls everything the reader does, and plays with her mind/ feelings making her feel like she's the bad one)?But after a fight with the mom, the reader has enough and just leaves deciding they will finally do what they want, ending up at a tattoo shop, where Choso is the tattoo artist.Ngl, i'd like this to be nsfw because i am thirsting for this man ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Don't really have kink preferences but if you could include size and breeding kink then i'd be hella thankful ☺

GETOU SUGURU: Yo how about a Victorian AU with Gentleman Thief!Getou and Debutante!Reader nsfw 👀👀 maybe she hears something in the dark and goes to investigate and gets pressed to the wall with a knife at her throat 👀🥵

FUSHIGURO TOJI: can we get a part two of the "lessons learned" toji fic 👉🏽👈🏽 maybe him fucking and overstimulating her so hard she cries and begs for mercy but no mercy will be given. maybe he uses the same handcuffs she used for him on her 🥰 maybe some manhandling cause im a hoe for letting a man throw me around

⭐ KAGEYAMA TOBIO (fckin finally): kageyama tobio x reader fic for mutual virginity loss? maybe they just haven’t had time with him being a fancy schmancy volleyball player, maybe there’s just nerves, i don’t know! i’ll leave it up to u babe <3

⭐ SUNA RINTARO: hi!! congrats on the 2.4k HEHE just wanted to request a suna and tattoo/flower shop au? idk just the thought of tattooed suna is like. mm yes

⭐ SUNA RINTARO/AKAASHI KEIJI: hi suki!! i’m so excited for your event! so i rarely ever see someone else who loves both akaashi and suna so i was wondering if you could write something for them! maybe apocalypse au?? or roommate au?? i was thinking y/n could have a relationship/be fuck buddies with one of them and some smutty exhibitionism happens with the other watching, and then some pining that ends in a threesome if you write those! if not, then just a smutty n filthy little love triangle that you can choose an ending for lol (a happy one would be nice bc my heart can only handle so much angst, but really it’s up to you and what inspires you!!) tysm for doing this event and always working so hard <3

⭐ OIKAWA TOORU: hi i love your writing!! can i please request work au (boss oikawa x secretary fem reader?) with degradation and him fucking your in the window 😭💗💗

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu #gojo satoru #fushiguro megumi #ryoumen sukuna #uhh im lazy #to tag #THANK YOU FOR THE MILESTONE <3 #sukirichi #suki: 2.4k milestone event

[commanderserwin]

half a heart.

↦ pairing(s): levi ackerman x reader

↦ word count: 2.7k

↦ anon request: 

hi, ik request is open so could i request: unrequited love + levi / eren?? u can make it a fic or like short drabble idk lmao ur choice bubs!! idk why i'm asking for angst and sadness *sobs* 🥰 btw i absolutely love ur writings!!!! luv ya xx

↦ author’s note(s): i chose levi, i hope that it’s okay! also feel like this started as unrequited love but then i lost control and was like yeah ? 

ps. i hope u still enjoy and thank you very much ♡ i appreciate it !! LUV UUU

╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾

It wasn't supposed to be like this. How could a simple crush turn into a somber love, as you lay in bed thinking of him. The little smiles, nods, greetings, was all you could harbor your feelings into. The simple late night teas, sitting in the mess hall, exhaustion creeping in your bones— but still here you are. 

Whenever you see him, your heart dances. 

Whenever he acknowledges you, your lips betrays into a smile. 

Whenever he talks to you, your mouth stutters. 

Whenever he's near, you can't help but move in closer. 

There comes a day when you don't speak to him, wondering if he does think of you. While you currently lie awake in the deep night, thinking and fantasizing what it could feel like to be called theirs. How it feels to hold him in the night, mumble about your days, kiss his lips, hear his stories, listen to how your name echo in his voice, know his flaws and insecurities, and how you would hold them as you accepted all of their good and bad even before you'd even know him. 

You could still remember the first time that you saw him. The first time that you heard his voice. The first time he practiced with you. The first times-- while he became the sole reason for the butterflies in your stomach. 

It was a simple crush. 

You admired him from afar, gush over his looks and skills.

But once you tapped on his shoulder, as bravery took over your body when you walked towards their table, you finally said, "Can I sit here?" 

He only nodded his head, scooting over so that you could sit beside him. He even helped you placed your tray when your hands almost dropped it. Heart beating so loud, you could feel it pump through your chest, the tips of your ears red, as well as the blush creeping into your neck. 

"I'm Isabel," the girl gushed, offering a hand. The new recruits. "And this is Farlan, and my big brother Levi." 

"Oh," you nodded, lips turning into a smile. You shook her hand, "My name is [Y/N]. It's very nice to meet you all." 

"Hi," Farlan mumbled, smiling right back at you while Levi only nodded, staring at his food. 

He is so stoic, calm, cool, and impassive that it attracted you more to him. 

That night, you wanted to beat yourself up for thinking about him, Levi running through your mind, holding on to the way his hand brushed against yours to help you and the way he nodded, and made space for you. 

It was a simple crush. 

Something that you'd look forward to after a long and heavy expedition. After training. After dinners, where you would take a sit beside him, talking with Isabel while you subtly glanced at him while you take a bite. 

Then comes the day when he doesn’t step out of his room, with worry filling you up. The deaths of Isabel and Farlan drowning him with sorrow. All you could do is knock on his door, carrying a tray of food for him. 

“Levi?” You called out, knocking again when there was no answer. “I’m coming in.” 

He was sitting on his bed, his head facing the door as he waited for you to enter. He couldn’t even muster up a nod as you softly padded towards him, placing the tray next to him. 

“I thought you might be hungry,” you whispered, sitting on the floor, as he hung his head down. 

He didn’t say anything, not to even take a bite of the bread you reserved for him. 

You handed him the fresh cup of tea, placing it over his clasped hands. “Why don’t you take a sip,” you said, folding out his hands, taking note of the callouses in his fingers. “Just to fill your stomach.” 

Levi nodded, wrapping his fingers on the cup, as you pulled away. He quietly sipped, still looking down. 

“I’m sorry,” you finally said, holding your legs close to your chest as you looked at him. “I’m sorry that you have to go through that.” 

Levi nodded again, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. He finally looked at you as he broke the bread in half, handing it to you. “You didn’t have to do this.” 

“I want to,” you admitted, smiling gently that he’s eating something solid. You wanted to initially say something else, but turned your mind away from it. This isn’t the time to confess and it was selfish to say it now. “I’m your friend. I’ve got your back.” 

The next day, Levi waited for you at the usual table. You tried to suppress your smile at the sight of him, but you failed. Once you were seated, he proceeded to wait until you took the first bite. He listened to you ramble about your day, occasionally grunting in response, and it was better than nothing.

You finally opened your heart at the prospect of love, daydreaming, what it would mean to share that with him. 

And it is always like that. Both of you stuck together, that nobody would even come between the two of you. 

He was there when you complained about one of the soldiers; then the next day he’d have bruised knuckles while the one who bothered you had a cut on his lips. He was there when he urged you to punch him harder so that you could protect yourself. He was there when he grabbed you by the waist, surprising you, as he carried you from branch to branch to protect you during expeditions.

For the love of everything, he was there. 

He’s the reason why you couldn’t sleep, reliving how his warm his touch were on yours. 

He’s the reason why you couldn’t stop smiling at him whenever he waits for you so that the both of you could eat together. 

He’s the reason why you always looked forward to the next day; envisioning what would happen. 

But the heartbreaking truth is, he doesn’t see you that way. 

Levi let you chase him each way, oblivious to how you felt, because in his eyes, that’s what friends are for. He paid no attention to how you smile, how your stares lingered, or how you leaned in a bit closer when it was just the two of you. Or was it because, he was hiding it better than you are? But you still curbed the idea because it was ridiculous. 

Then he wanted to feel something. 

He knocked on your door, and once you opened the door on him, he nodded towards the mess hall, asking you to join him. 

“What is it?” You whispered, wrapping your robe tighter around your body as he lead you away. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Levi muttered, crossing his arms as he felt you behind him. He turned his face, almost brushing his lips on your cheeks as he did, but you scurried away. 

He didn’t miss the way you blushed. 

“Oh,” you shuddered, hand going up to you cheek. A simple crush, you thought. Perhaps? “And you thought that it was best for you to wake me up?” 

Levi nodded, pointing to the bench. “Wait here.” 

That you did, while you hurried to fix your disheveled hair, your clothes that are way to thin for the night, then you licked your lips just enough for moisture. 

It was a long two minutes. Heart-pounding. Nerve wrecking. While you waited for him to emerge. 

Levi finally reappeared, holding two cups. With all the space available, you thought that this was it. 

Finally, you thought nervously, maybe this isn’t a simple crush anymore. 

He made your tea just the way you like it, blowing off some steam as you placed it against your lips. 

“Be careful,” Levi whispered against his cup, as he sipped. From the corner of his eyes, he watched you blush again. He isn’t really thinking, but he wants to try. He’s known you for a long time now and maybe this is right. He's got to make a decision and this is his choice. 

"Bad dreams?" You asked, wrapping your hands around the warm cup as you turned to him. 

"Something like that." 

"Oh," you nodded, worry filling your eyes as he stared his greys at yours. "How can I help?" 

Levi thought hard, his mouth drying up as he setlled his on his choice. 

He inexplicably leaned forward, his eyes boring into yours as his nose touched yours. 

"Levi?" 

He felt your lips brushed against his when you whispered his name. He looked down at your lips, licking his own, as he looked up at your eyes again. He noticed that you stopped breathing, and gently placed his hands on either side of your neck. 

"Levi?" 

Is this happening? you thought. Oh, he is so near. 

Like a fool, you waited. Then on a second, you felt him close the gap between the two of you. It wasn't fireworks that you felt, it was fucking more than that. His lips moved against yours as he guided you closer to him. His hand went lower to your waist, closing the gap even more, while he continued to kiss you. 

Just like a fool. That's what you felt when he pulled away, his hands off of you like hot coal. Levi shook his head, his bangs curtaining his eyes as he scooted away. Levi gripped his cup. He couldn't meet your eyes. 

"Levi?" 

"That was a mistake," Levi muttered, pushing himself off of the bench. 

He left. Just like that. He left you on the bench. 

The tea he prepared grew cold as you sat there. The walk back to your room was humiliating. So fucking humiliating that you bit on your lower lip to not disturb the hallways with your cries. Just like a fool, you waited for the fantasy that you thought was going to come when he pulled you in. You waited for the sparks to happen, but instead it felt like someone dampen it. He did. Levi did. 

You can't even get to be mad at him, because this was all your doing. 

You didn't know when that simple crush turned into something when he finally kissed you. It had transcended those means when he kiss you. It went above and beyond, and the fantasies you've had slowly sunk into the ground, writhing at your feet. 

╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾

Days turned into years, and years, and years, and here you were. 

Captain Levi. 

It was late at night, the distance between the both of you widening, your feelings working its way down, but love stayed where you held on to it tightly, still fucking blindly holding on to it. Levi silently accepted your reluctance for him, the hesistation from you, fully knowing that he did it to the both of you. 

Levi kept thinking about that kiss that night. He thought that kisses shared would emit joy, happiness, smiles, but all it did was fill him with regret, guilt, and worry. It was his choice because he wanted to feel something, but he doesn't have it in himself. He didn't want to feel anything, he didn't want to feel the infatution. He ought to talk to you that night, but you disappeared from him. He watched you ignore him, avoid him, lose the smile on your lips, and he thought that: 'It's okay. It's for the better.'

But still it was hard, because after all these years, it was still the both of you. 

The feelings has numbed down. But it was still there, waiting to be poked with a stick to be awakened once more. Still, the half of your heart laid out for him.

"Levi?" 

Levi stopped writing, hesistating to answer. But in the end, he made his choice. "Come in." 

He watched the knob turned, as you joined him for a quiet company. He pushed away his papers, helping you with the tray. He watched you pull forward a spare chair, moving it closer to the desk. He smiled at the gesture, then his eyes softened as you smiled. 

"How are you?" You asked, noticing the paperworks. "Erwin gave you more work?" 

"Yeah," Levi answered, taking his tea. His heart is pounding. "How are you?"

"Couldn't sleep," you said, sipping your tea. "Then I saw the light from your office." 

He nodded, sipping his. No one said a thing, until the both of you finished your teas. You slumped against the chair, crossing your legs as you smiled sadly. It hurts. 

Years into years into years, and it still hurts. 

Levi caught on to your face, his heart gripping his thoughts into something that he cannot untangle. 

"What happened to us?" 

Levi only looked down, "I don't know." 

"No," you smiled, tilting your head. "You know, Levi, you just don't want to talk about it."

"What else is there to talk about?" 

"Where did we go wrong?"

"It was just a kiss." 

"It was the kiss for me." 

Levi looked up, watching you fiddle with the fingers on your lap. You looked up, resting your arm on the chair, as you sighed deeply. The memories from that night crashing itself on to you. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Ah," you sighed deeply again, smiling fondly at the man before him. "I waited years for me to hear that." 

"I'm sorry," Levi whispered, guilt eating him up. He still couldn't erase the look on your face when he pulled away from you. 

The sadness, confusion, and anger twirled into one that it kept him up that night and the nights after, thinking of a way to apologize, until it flitted into something that is unspeakable as the both of you grew apart. He still wouldn't miss the way you would stare at him. He doesn't know what's wrong with him, thinking of a way to push him towards you but his feet wouldn't move. 

His heart doesn't beat the same way as yours. His eyes doesn't linger at yours. His mind isn't filled by you, as he tried to stomp on it.

"Thank you," you murmured softly. 

The love inside you died. But you were happy, for some reason, you were happy. It was the closure that you needed after all these years. 

"I'm sorry that that's how you felt." 

"It's okay," you chuckled softly, eyes twinkling with warmth. Levi smiled a little, heart bursting that he finally heard you laugh. "It started as a little crush, anyway." 

"I noticed," Levi admitted, his eyes matching yours. He hid his eyes as you blushed again, real laughter coloring the room. 

Just like the old times. He remembers when you blushed during the first time he met you, the way he helped you because the food was close to falling, he couldn't shy away at the way your cold hand brushed his, he didn't miss the way that he actually liked your company. The feelings bubbling up like a well-kept treasure that's bound to be dug up either way. 

"Can I tell you something?"

He looked up at you, curiosity displayed in your beautiful eyes. Just like the old times. He hid the key for his well-kept treasure, hesistantly opening it for you. He wants to say it, to keep it equal. To call it quits, now that everything is being said. It was his turn to feel his heart pound crazily. The nerves turning on and on, making him feel nervous. 

But he saw the look on your face. Levi noticed that you feel more at peace. Happy. Contented, and he didn't want to pull it away from you. 

"What is it, Levi?" 

Levi leaned on his chair, silent for a minute as he watched you. Peace colored your aura, as you tilted your head again. He watched you arch your brow, lips slightly open, your chest rising up and down evenly. 

Your heart doesn't beat that way anymore, he thought. 

He had to make a decision. Go and live with his choice. Should he tell you or not? Levi thought hard and long, watching you intently. 

His stares doesn't work on you anymore, as you only waited for him to continue. There was something different with the way his words hang in the air. It was the sheen sweat on his forehead and the unaware nibbles on his lip that he does rarely, when he's deep in thought. 

Finally, Levi stared at you. 

Levi smiled softly, shaking his head, as he went back to work. He made his choice, finding peace with it along the way to not tell you, "I forgot what I was going to say. It's nothing." 

#levi ackerman #levi x reader #levi imagines #levi imagine #attack on titan #attack on titan imagines #attack on titan imagine #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #shingeki no kyoujin #shingeki no kyojin #aot imagines #aot imagine #snk imagines #snk imagine #snk levi #aot levi

[plush-rabbit]

What headcanons you have in request box actually? I'm really curious lol. Have nice day btw, I love your work!!!!!

Okay, so usually I put some in a doc and then like figure it out from there so if you've sent one in and haven't seen it, don't worry, it'll be done and added once I make a dent lmao. These are also a mix of hc and fics. Some I'm like part way through so ye

There also might be some that I might not do because its vague, like I'm given just the prompt and I don't know what to do with it or there's just no ideas that come to mind so I really am sorry.

Upcoming ones:

Met with Dia and he said “how else will you please me?” And I think it awoke something in me?? Can I request Diavolo with a bashful innocent MC and him just laying back and letting her have his way with him? But of course he’s a total dom so he’s gonna take control but just has a little fun letting her take the reins to start with? Hi. I just found your stuff and you write so well for Obey Me. Could I request a fic with Barbatos and a female MC? Maybe she's staying at the palace for whatever reason and when he goes to his room he hears her moaning his name so he checks on her but she's sleeping. The next day he hints that she must've had a good dream much to her dismay. That night he goes to her room and she's awake and they end up sleeping together. With some praise and maybe even some tail action. Thank you! Can I please get a uuuhhh possessive/borderline yandere Leon please :3c maybe it’s after a big match for her and everyone’s fawning over her and he steals her away and reminds her that she’s his? 💕✨ I saw those headcanons where Jin and Shigaraki became parental or sibling figures to the reader sooooooo how about headcanons of a fem!reader being a mother figure to the league? Just an ordinary citizen in her late twenties until she met the LOV unexpectedly, during the time where the league had to hide and the reader's place is conveniently open (then again I'm sure they'd bust in if it wasn't) and she didn't rat them out. This happened quite a lot of times to the point where the reader is used to it by now and just lets them in, even if they weren't hiding from anyone and just wants to stay for the night. When she got closer to the league, she starts to show care and love for them in a way a mother would the reader isn't a member of the league, but they already consider her as family :'D I just really want them to get care and love since they've been through so much Last week I literally sat down and read your writing for like an hour and a half LOL It’s just really good and I love your characterization! I was wondering if I could request Twice and Shigaraki with an s/o who tries to be cute and surprise them by wearing their clothes when they return from a mission but maybe the clothes are a bit too snug cuz they’re a little pudgy :( could also be nsfw if you’re ok with that!! Thank you so much 💜💜 I like the Lucky!Cat!reader hc. Could you do some for the LOV, with a Male Cat s/o? Thank you! You're the best!! I've been obsessing about flowers and their meanings or what they symbolize soooooo. How would the LOV react to their s/o giving them a certain flower and then finding out what the flower means/symbolizes? Hope this passes! It's a request for OM. Can I have headcanons of the brothers + Diavolo (if you don't mind) of their s/o dancing "Paradise Lost" by GAIN? Provided you a link to the video for reference 😁: https://youtu.be/4i32ANEa5mk Headcanons where the LOV has an s/o whose like a literal ball of sunshine. Always happy and bubbly, smiling and laughing, they just seem to epitome of joy. Until one day, they just break down, being so emotionally drained from different factors that they can keep up the act of being happy anymore Last week I literally sat down and read your writing for like an hour and a half LOL It’s just really good and I love your characterization! I was wondering if I could request Twice and Shigaraki with an s/o who tries to be cute and surprise them by wearing their clothes when they return from a mission but maybe the clothes are a bit too snug cuz they’re a little pudgy :( could also be nsfw if you’re ok with that!! Thank you so much 💜💜 hey!! hru? i have a question do you think shigaraki would like a threesome? what if his s/o didn’t want one bc she’s like possessive of him (in a non toxic way) hey plush, can you do a reader x Shiggy and Dabi whos crying to them/grabbing their shirts and burring themselves into shiggy and dabi/ about their verbally abusive ex, how theyre so different from them, so much nicer and softer, how they(the reader) never thought they could be loved or deserved kindness? its been one of those days, i just need some comfort. thank you♡ heyy!! ^^ can i request some headcanons for hawks reacting to his female s/o belly dancing for him? :3 Heyo this is beetle juice anon idk if u remember me I’m the person who said shiggy sounds like beetle juice, I swear I couldn’t get that thought out of my head so can I request shiggy and reader getting hit by a quirk that forces them to do a musically ( idk I just want shiggy to sing honestly lmaoooo) idk maybe both of them being shocked that both of them can sing hey, i absolutely adore your writing! i love going through all your work, they’re my comfort fics! 💞 i was wondering if you would mind writing something for tomura with an s/o who is insecure about her body and how skinny she is? she feels too flat, like she doesn’t have enough curves or that she’s grown into her body enough and it makes her feel less of a woman, that tomura could do better. and it makes her anxious when it comes to initimacy and being exposed to him because in her eyes he’s so perfectly handsome and she just feels inadequate... it’s something i’ve had to deal with pretty much my entire life, getting called names like stick insect and coat hanger, but lately it’s been eating away at me more and more. you can totally ignore this if you feel uncomfortable writing about this stuff, though! 💕 So, like. Hear me out. What if, with Bakugou and Dabi (separate) : MC is super innocent and cute, blushes at the slightest flirt, and “doesn’t get” dirty jokes, but as soon as they’re alone with their s/o? They are the kinkiest most vulgar bottom they’ve ever seen. Nipples pierced, collar under the turtleneck, chain strung between the piercings and the collar, all out kinda slut. The duality of man. (Gender neutral) Hello so may i request shigaraki with a s.o whos warm loving and protective and very innocent basically a s.o whos like mitsuri kanroji both personality and look wise Female pronouns,maybe they are out on a date getting ice cream and the s.o is so happy shiggy came, they hold hands and people start giving him odd looks only for her to stand up to the bullies who are saying things about shigaraki, it ends with her kissing him infront of everyone to prove a point,and when the get home she tells him she doesnt care what people think and makes love to him topping hin while telling him all the reasons she fell inlove with him,(omg im so sorrry its so long if you have tpo many requests or dont like the idea please tell me) hey, i absolutely adore your writing! i love going through all your work, they’re my comfort fics! 💞 i was wondering if you would mind writing something for tomura with an s/o who is insecure about her body and how skinny she is? she feels too flat, like she doesn’t have enough curves or that she’s grown into her body enough and it makes her feel less of a woman, that tomura could do better. and it makes her anxious when it comes to initimacy and being exposed to him because in her eyes he’s so perfectly handsome and she just feels inadequate... it’s something i’ve had to deal with pretty much my entire life, getting called names like stick insect and coat hanger, but lately it’s been eating away at me more and more. you can totally ignore this if you feel uncomfortable writing about this stuff, though! 💕 could we get a fem reader cock warming Dabi throughout the night and get morning sex >//< // ik youre a busy bee so dont feel obligated to rush or anything, take ur time plushie!♡ can we please get a shiggy x reader and the reader asks him to teach her how to game and she ends up being better than him and whatnot (inspired by that “a simple wager”) fic (if you ever decide to make a sequel to that i will ve DECEASED Can I request a sub shigaraki with a mommy kink getting pegged by the reader ( I just want to make him beg and cry honestly) reader is a female Omh give us noncon/somno w scary eraserhead plsss / aizawa and aphrodisiac smut pwease ( ；∀；) Overhaul and Chrono punishing quirkless reader for being an undercover reporter/agent but like orgasm denial... (Idk if you write this stuff but anyways do it if you want have a nice night) Can I request something like “Peaches and Cream” but with Piers instead? I know you’re busy with other requests, so don’t worry if you don’t have time for this one! I love love your writing!!! Hello beautiful can I just say how amazing ur writing is loll, can I request shigaraki having a crush on the reader and she knows about it, like one day shiggy just goes to her room when there on a mission and just steals her stuff and humps her pillows, but she has cameras in her room so she saw everything, long story short she shows him the videos and humiliates him (shiggy of course a mess and is close to crying from how embarrassing that is, lowkey turned on ) the reader takes care of him ( sorry I’m really bad at endings 🙏🏻😅) the reader pegs him until he’s a crying mess. By the way the reader is a female and shigaraki is a sub has a mommy kink and the reader is dom of that’s ok of course I love your writing!! May I ask for Diavolo x F!Reader with borderline disorder? 👉👈.. Lately it has been very difficult for me to deal with this alone and Diavolo is mine comfort character.. (NSFW Talk, If your a minor..then why are you even reading this?? Get off this 18+ page?? Anyways-). I am a huge sucker for overstimulation, biting and crying, (many of my past partners have called me a sadist-) and I just 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑒 the idea of Tamaki’s cute face streaming with tears and drool as Male Reader vigorously overstims the fuck out of him. And he would look so 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦 with his mouth gaping open in a silent scream of overwhelming pleasure because M!Reader gave his sensitive dick a handjob while he roughly railed Tamaki’s pretty little ass. (While abusing the fuck out of his G Spot, of course). I can just imagine him squirming and begging for mercy while M!Reader lovingly wrecks his body, taking him hard & fast in multiple different positions with each one making Tamaki wail with pleasure. He’s just so adorable, I just wanna see him get 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑝~ Lusty ❤︎ -Anon. Bonus Points if you could have M!Reader be super fuckin tall, muscular, strong and also be absolutely PACKING. (This man has a godly dick, and it’s honestly a surprise Tamaki can take it so well without literally breaking in half) ahhhh hewwo could you maybe write something with dbd ghostface going full apotheosis for his crush? as in,, he starts to elevate her to a status of divinity and even when she's just cowering in fear in front of him or conversely stabbing him and causing him lots of pain he just keeps viewing her as some sort of deity and  can't stop obsessing over her and wanting more from her

Again. I deeply apologize for not doing some. I wish I could, but (and this is not to guilt trip any of yall or anything, I understand that it'll sound like that it but it ain't it) sometimes the work I put into something and the feedback I get is sometimes not it. Like I'll work hard and get nothing and listen, I get it, its fanfic, there's a bit more stigma to it rather than art but yeah. Its a ramble, and basically, I don't wanna put work into something that I'll only get a few likes on. So yeah. Agains this isn't guilt tripping, I get it. I'm a consumer of it and I get the gist of it but yeah. More thoughts later, when I can properly sit and write as I am currently in a home depot 

[obx-saltlife]

S A V A G E

Absolutely nobody asked for this. I listened to Nicki Minaj’s ‘Get on your Knees’ (feat. Ariana Grande) the other night and thought it could be a good start for a mild sub!Rafe fic. This kinda got away from me a little bit and it was too late to reign it in.

Warnings: Smut, obviously. We’re talking like real filthy language, oral sex (female receiving), mild dom/sub undertones.

Word count: 4.8K+

Rafe x Reader smut.

If you like what you read, request something maybe? Come talk to me, idk. Also, full disclosure, the GIF is not mine. Credit to its original owner.

“Take off your clothes,” he murmured after kissing you chastely. “And crawl to my bed.”

You’d been introduced to Rafe Cameron three months ago at an Outer Banks party. You knew who he was; you ran in the same circles but never had you been introduced outright. You both hailed from Figure 8, you’d seen him around the Island Club a few times too. He was ever the charismatic, beacon of attention that exuded confidence wherever he went. It was honestly what attracted you to him in the first place, like a moth to a flame.

But this didn’t feel like that. “What?” you asked.

Rafe had called you the day after that party to ask you out. He’d been very sweet and you’d even dare to say that he had been a little nervous. Your nerves were off the wall. You agreed to meet him the next day at the Island Club for lunch. You walked around the golf course and just talked about everything. He told you about Ward, about the insane pressure he felt from his dad and the massive expectations he had for Rafe. You talked about his sisters; he even shared a bit about his mom at one point.

“Crawl to my bed,” he repeated slower this time, but his voice was deeper somehow.

“No.” You recoiled in reply, angry that he could think to order you around that way. Like you were beneath him. “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you high?”

He barely moved except for his hand coming to wrap around your arm just above the joint of your elbow. He brought you closer to him and you put your hands up, bracing yourself against the planes of his chest.

“No, I’m not fucking high. I just want you—“

“Oh, no, I heard you the first time, Rafe. But we don’t do that shit unless we negotiate it first and you know that.”

His face scrunched. “There’s nothing to negotiate, I want to watch you on your knees and I want to fuck you on my bed.”

“And I’m saying no!” You crossed your arms in defiance.

He yanked you forward this time, his grip barely bruising but still pretty strong. You could sense he had every intention to kiss you but before he could, you reached your palm up to his lips and pressed your hand against his mouth. He kissed the inside of your hand instead, like that made anything about this better.

Your first kiss with Rafe had actually been kind of sweet, like a lot of things between both of you. You’d been overlooking the grounds at the club and it happened just as the sun was setting. You’d both been enjoying each other’s company. It was hot, you were both covered in a slight sheen of sweat. Rafe’s hair was falling in his face due to his lack of hair product. It was slow and easy and kind of perfectly timed, if you were being honest. Almost like Rafe could read your mind, you were just that in sync with one another.

He smiled back at you and asked you “What?”

You stared into his mesmerizing blue eyes. “Why do you want me to crawl, Rafe?”

He shrugged and mouthed at your fingers. You let your hand drop and rest on his chest. He stared down between you, his hair on the loose again.

“Rafe,” you whispered. “Do you do this with all your girlfriends”

You weren’t naïve; you knew there had been others before you. You and Rafe were nearly 20.

He shook his head, not really looking you in the eye. “Not all of them.”

“So, most of them?” You asked him, cocking your eyebrows and making him look you in the face.

He lifted a shoulder in somewhat of a half-assed confirmation. It didn’t surprise you, to be honest. Rafe Cameron was someone who was used to getting what he wanted. Especially in the bedroom.

You shook your head at yourself and at him. It had already been a long night. You were out at a party with him, more his crowd than yours really. Not that you’d stayed by his side for the whole thing, Rafe’s country club groupies had figuratively elbowed you clean out of the way and you didn’t want to seem like the clingy, possessive girlfriend. You let him have his fun while you mingled with those you did know, dancing and drinking with them as you pleased.

Topper had approached you at some point, noticing the lack of boyfriend by your side. You’d gotten a drink with him, even shared half of a joint until Rafe interrupted both of you. The smile he used was more reminiscent of an angry dog, baring his teeth. It was tense and weird and even though jealousy was often a good look for Rafe, it was certainly not the case tonight. Especially not on the way back to his place, which is where you currently were.

“You know what? I’m gonna go. We’ll talk tomorrow.” You backed away slowly. “Or whatever.”

He really had no right to be jealous. You had only talked to the handful of people that you knew and he had left you alone for most of the stupid party anyway. He’d had his proverbial country-club dick sucked while ignoring you. Maybe even his literal dick sucked too, who even knew anymore. You didn’t keep track of him.

“Wait a fucking minute! I didn’t do anything wrong!” Rafe reached for you again, and you dodged his hand. “I just asked for what I wanted!”

You pointed a perfectly manicured finger at him. “You want to control me, Cameron.”

He swat at your hand and you tugged it away, or at least tried to. Before you could slap him, like you actually wanted to, he got closer. Too close to get much leverage and even though it didn’t really seem like it, Rafe was much stronger than he seemed.

You stomped on his foot with your wedged platform and fisted his Polo shirt tight around his neck with your free hand. You think he barely noticed because in turn, he wrapped his arm around your waist and pinned you to the wall of his bedroom.

“Don’t go,” he added softly.

“It’s not like I can now, can I? I’m trapped here.” You snarled back at him with a small roll of your eyes.

He studied your face, blatantly stopping at your lips. “You’re so beautiful.”

Rafe leaned in to kiss you again, but you reached up to the back of his head and fisted his hair, wrenching his head back. He gasped in return and arched his body against yours. It was like caging in his animalistic urges, all predatory reflexes and hard muscles as he clutched at you. You suddenly felt like you could do anything to him.

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. He was so vulnerable; you could see it in his eyes. They weren’t the usual stormy blue you had been accustomed to. They were shining pools of blue like the Caribbean in the winter. His tanned skin shone in the moonlight that seeped in from the window. You could smell his expensive soap as you mouthed at the skin at the base of his throat. You could bite him, leave a mark for everyone to see and you kind of wanted to, you liked the idea of that. You could bite him until he bled. Mark him like he wished you could do to you.

You dug your teeth a little harder around his neck and he moaned. You felt him rock his growing erection against your stomach. His grip loosening on your wrist.

“You bring me back to your room and order me to my knees, “ you spoke against his throat. “As if you own me, Rafe Cameron.”

His hands moved south, towards your hips. “I’m sorry.”

You pulled his hair again and he practically whimpered in need. “How sorry are you?”

“Very! I’m so sorry!”

“You are sorry,” you agreed. “A sorry, little boy who plays at being the tough guy, huh?”

Really, you had come to know Rafe as something else entirely. He was insightful, funny, mature and intelligent when he wasn’t losing his temper like a child or coked out of his mind. You talked your entire first date, which ended after a long ride on the back of his bike. He’d been so enthusiastic about you, beamed at you with his cheeks pink from the sun and you had smiled right back. Dishing it all out as good as you were getting it. You felt yourself falling for him right then and there.

He’d taken you home, hugged you and planned to leave. He had made you feel heard, seen and wanted for the first time in a long time. He’d felt right in your arms and he smelled so good. And god, his hair; you could go on about his hair forever if anyone let you.

Taking advantage of his silence, you continued. “Such a shame, I don’t want that side of you. If you’re feeling insecure, tell me. If you want me on my knees tell me about it. Don’t play stupid games with me.” You released his tresses and smoothed it back. “I want to be with you, but not like that. You know that.”

His eyes were filled with all kinds of emotions, different tones of blue fighting to make their way to the surface; as if the internal floodgates had been opened. He looked like he was about to yell or cry or maybe a little of both. You didn’t fell much different than that.

He spoke with a rough tone of voice. “You seem like you’re done with me.” His teeth almost clenching as he said it.

“I can be mad at you and still want you.”

“You’re not leaving,” he half-questioned.

You realized then, what he had been doing. The trademark Cameron push-away. Apparently, Sarah was notorious for it too. He was sabotaging himself and the relationship, and you couldn’t exactly figure out why.

You shook your head and looked at him. “Not unless you want me to.”

“I don’t want you to.”

“Then I won’t.”

He hesitated delicately, as he moved in to kiss you. You didn’t stop him this time; you didn’t want to. You held his face and tasted the remnants of some hard liquor on his tongue. He kissed you with more desperation than you expected. It wasn’t like the giggle make-outs you were mostly used to. Where his hands went to your ass and he squeezed it before making a honking sound and while his lips still pressed to yours. There was a new sense of urgency to his kissing now. It meant something else entirely.

Rafe pushed a thigh between yours and rubbed himself against you. He was solid and strong and hot. His lips were soft and felt ready to pout at a moment’s notice but still, he kissed you like he couldn’t get enough.

He ran his hands down your sides and almost pulled you away from the wall to touch all of you. He rolled his lips expertly and groaned against your mouth. You could feel how hard he was.

“I want to fuck you – make you cum over and over – all the fucking time,” he whispered, his lips barely leaving any space between yours as he did. “I watch the way you move. How you act when you think nobody’s watching. I like your ass.” His hands squeezed your hips as he swallowed. “And I just…” he continued, “I want you to myself, all the time, always.”

You looked at his closed lids. “And you want me to crawl to your bed.”

“I think about getting you on your knees and rubbing my dick all over your pretty face.” His hands moved upwards to cup the side of your chest as he opened his eyes and looked at you. “I wanna slide it in your mouth until you’re choking on it.” His hands kept going until they found themselves under your jaw. “I want to fuck your mouth until you cry.” He tilted your head back a little and kissed your chin delicately. “And then I want to push you to the floor and slide right between your tits. I want to cum all over you.”

You grinned a little, liking the fact that he was actually telling you want he wanted. “We can do that.”

“I want to bend you over my armchair,” he nodded in the direction of what you vaguely recalled was a leather armchair in the corner of his bedroom. “I want to spank you until your skin’s red all over and your pussy’s dripping wet for me.” He pressed his forehead to yours. “Fuck, I want to take you like that. Shove you into the bed so you can’t move, finger you, fuck you harder than I’ve fucked anyone ever.”

“All in one go?” you teased and pet the muscles in his lower back with a raise of your eyebrow.

“Whenever you’d let me.” Rafe shrugged.

You could tell he was slowly slipping into a better frame of mind. No longer was he barking out orders. He was talking about permission and mutual satisfaction, which was definitely turning you on now. You decided to ask for something you’d like.

“Can I tie you up sometime?” You smirked.

He nodded and rolled his hips. “Fuck yeah, ride me, scratch me, bite me, I don’t care.”

“And you want to be my good boy, don’t you Rafe?” You reached up again and tousled his hair.

“Only if you’ll be my good girl.”

“Uh-uh, that’s not how this conversation is going, Cameron.” You warned him.

He definitely pouted right then. “What do you want?”

“I want you to let go. I want you to trust me.” You leaned into his warm hands at your throat to offer a kiss.

His eyes clouded with unshed  tears and he kissed you. He pushed his fingers into your hair and held you as he sucked tightly at your bottom lip, your tongue. You couldn’t stop the train of noises bubbling out of you. You held onto him and gave it back just as good. You had to be vulnerable too if you expected him to be. After all, soft Rafe was your favorite Rafe ever.

He broke the kiss with a moan and pressed his wet lips to your cheek. “I want you so bad.”

“I want you too.”

“Let me fuck you. I’ll be good for you.”

You smiled and closed your eyes with a sigh. He was always good for you. He knew how to use his body, there was no doubt about that. His mouth, his hands; you’d come more times with him than on your own – which was a first. The chemistry between you was undeniably there.

You drew your bottom lip between your teeth as you had a thought. “Take off your clothes and lie in the middle of the bed for me, Rafe.”

He straightened to his full height and cradled your face. “Are you going to fuck me?”

“If you do what I ask.” You replied, cocking your eyebrow.

In a silent reply, he stepped away and pulled off his Polo shirt. He kept his eyes on you as he moved backwards towards his full-sized, unmade bed. It was a nice start. The moonlight bounced off his naked torso and glinted lightly off of his hair. It highlighted the angles of his jaw, his pointy but muscled shoulders. The planes down his chest were hidden in a shadow but you followed them down to the front of his khaki shorts.

The sight made your mouth water but you had to maintain control. You slowly advanced, step-by-step and Rafe backed away at the same pace. Further into his bedroom, he unbuttoned his shorts. With another few steps backwards, he unzipped them.

You knew he wanted you to undo the ties on your crop top but he kept silent. Somehow, that made you proud and want to reward him, even if it was just a little.

“Touch yourself for me,” you commanded, your chin raised in an authoritative manner.

He adjusted his cock in his boxer briefs and cupped it. He drew his fingertips up the thick vein on the underside of it, the tip of it wet the fabric and pulled at the waistband.

As soon as he was at the foot of his bed, he sad and got his Sperry boat shoes untied and off. He yanked his socks off and threw them in the generation of the closet without a care in the world. He sat there with the summer moonlight coming in through the window and waited.

You couldn’t make out much of his face but you felt him studying you, raking his eyes over your still clothed body.

You leaned casually back against the door. “The rest of it.”

He wiggled out of his shorts and his briefs, tossing them in the direction of his socks. He held onto the edge of the bed as his toes curled into the carpet.

“Turn on the light.” You said, and nodded to the lamp at his bedside.

He did as you asked and scoot onto the center of the bed, where he stretched out on his back. His golden skin was perfection in the soft glow. A blushed peppered his skin as you looked on.

His cock hardened further too. A glossy line of sweet, sticky precum on the trailed underside of his length. You couldn’t wait to tease more out.

You toed off your sandals and slipped out of your denim shorts. From the corner of your eye, your saw Rafe wrap his hand around the base of his hardened erection. You straightened and walked to bed, your crop top and lace panties the only things on display.

You tsked with your fingers in Rafe’s direction. “Get your hands off. That’s only mine to touch.”

He let go and writhed on the bed. His legs spread and his hips pushed into the air. “Fucking touch me then.”

“I will, when I’m damn well ready, Cameron.” You move forward to put a knee on the matress. “Hands about your head now.”

He obeyed and moved to grab the pillow under his head. You crawled close and bend to kiss a gentle line up his chest towards his neck. He sighed in pleasure and turned his head for you. His skin was clean, the mix of soap and cologne that you loved always present. You took in his beautiful profile and traced his lips with a finger.

“Why did you want me to crawl, Rafe?” you whispered in his ear.

He groaned your name and flexed against the bed. You dug your nails into his chest and scratched down his torso hard. His eyes went wide as he let out a delicious “aaah!”

You reached the skin of his waistline and gentled your touch. “Tell me why.”

“I don’t know,” he breathed and shook his head.

You hummed and took hold of his cock. He moaned and shoved his heels into the plush mattress. His cock was hot in your hand and so hard, almost painfully so. He was probably ready to blow any second.

You stroked him once and settled on just holding the wet head in your smaller fist. You watched him struggle and bite his lip. You ran your finger slowly through the underside of the head.

“Tell me.”

“I…Fuck.” He squeezed his eyes shut.

You shuffled down the soft bed and got between his legs. You pushed the further open and stroked the length of his thighs slowly. His thighs were smooth and silky, untouched by the sun mostly, unlike the rest of him.

Rafe looked down his body. “What’re you doing?”

Without replying, you leaned forward, bracing yourself and licked at the trail of his precum that had previously pooled there. His head flopped back with a groan. He was salty and thick on your tongue.

“Tell me,” you repeated.

“Fucking Topper,” he spat.

You made an interested noise and placed open-mouthed kisses down his shaft.

“He was – he was flirting with you.”

Ah, so that was what this was about. Topper keeping you company at the party.

“And?”

“He’s…he’s a good guy.”

“Uh-huh”

“I don’t want…”

You teased his balls with your tongue before pressing it against them tightly. He pushed down to your face and raised his ass a little off the bed. You pulled away and then stared straight up at him.

“Fuck, come on!” He pulled at the corners of the pillow. “Give me…” He groaned and rubbed the sweat from his upper lip with his bicep.

You almost had him. You hovered over the line of your spit and his precum on his cock and gently blew air on it. His reaction was immediate. He thrust upwards at your face and growled.

You backed off again and shot him an expectant look. Your eyebrows raised again, so Rafe definitely knew.

“I don’t want you to –“

You kissed the skin over his hipbones and that joint of muscle. You slid your palms over his sides, your nails raking over his skin. You came close to the erection laying on his stomach but never touched it.

“Fuck me, please.”

You hummed and kept peppering kisses over his tanned sking.

“If you don’t fucking fuck me…”

You sat up at his tone and placed your hands on your thighs. It was a punishment for him, yes but also it kept you from losing your focus. He sounded so needy, you were ready to give up this entire charade and just give into him. You were definitely aware of how your underwear clung to the wetness between your thighs.

“Fuck!” He bellowed. “What do you want?”

“Tell me the truth, Rafe.”

“I want you to want me like I…” His face scrunched up and he bit his lip. “I want you to only see me.”

“And what about me?” You toyed with the flimsy tie on your top. “You ignored me for most of the party.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“I don’t give a fuck if you didn’t mean to. You intentions don’t mean shit to me, Cameron.”

“I’m sorry, okay?” He almost lifted himself on an elbow but thought better than to do it. Which was good, it meant he was learning. “Let me make it up to you, baby. Please?”

“Oh, of course you are.” You got on your knees and pulled your underwear down. “I’m gonna fuck your face until I come.”

Rafe twisted on the bed with a loud moan. His cock visibly throbbed and your thighs clenched at the sight. You wanted nothing more than to slide down his dick and use him like he was the best, most realistic sex toy ever made.

But no, Rafe hadn’t earned that. Had he?

You kicked off your underwear and crawled over him. You sat on his scratched pink chest with your knees spread wide and rubbed yourself on him. He whimpered and stared at you with darkening, sweet eyes.

“I won’t let you go again,” he offered as his hands mangled the pillow under his head. “I won’t get distracted.”

You leaned forward just a touch to grind your clit against him. You let out a soft sigh and rolled your hips. You were conflicted between coming exactly like this and leaving him wanting and taking you sweet time with Rafe.

He glanced between your legs and licked his lips. “I can make it up to you. I won’t hurt you. Ever again. I promise.”

“What else?”

He floundered for a second, utterly lost in pleasure. “I was stupid. I let people –“

“Other girls,” you corrected.

“—I let other girls sidetrack me. From you. You’re the most important thing to me, I swear.”

“Keep going.”

He made a frustrated noise. “I don’t know what you want, babe.”

“Do you care about me? Do you want me in your life?”

“Jesus Christ, you have no idea. I learned to fucking Paddleboard to see you at the Island Club every day.”

You couldn’t help but laugh.

He smiled so beautifully, your absolute favorite smile. His unashamed 100% real, Rafe smile. “God! I’m so into you!”

Your heart lurched in your chest, and you shuffled down just so you could kiss him. He made a hungry, desperate sound when your lips met. He leaned up to kiss you harder. He got your mouth open and tasted you, licked and sucked at your tongue. You almost forgot yourself for a minute. His kisses were ravenous and eager, ranging between sweet and downright bratty.

You finally pulled away to catch your breath. His panting breaths fanned over your lips. You held his face and he leaned into your touch.

“I’m really into you too, you know.” You murmured.

“Good, now come sit on my face.”

You raised your eyebrow at that.

“Please?” he added cheekily, flashing you another knee-weakening smile.

“Good boy.” You kissed his nose and told him to scoot down.

With a bit of adjustment, you found yourself hovering over Rafe’s blushing face. You allowed him to hold your ass to support you at first. It also helped in keeping his hands from wandering and going to his cock.

His voice was a dark rumble: “Oh shit, yeah. Let me taste you.”

You put your hands on the wall in front of you and slowly lowered yourself. He met you halfway, his tongue already out of his mouth. His nose pressed into your mound and he moaned. His tongue was warm and slick, you cursed under you breath.

He didn’t seem to mind the pressure at all. He pushed his tongue in deeper, licking languid stripes up your slit. Each pass over your sensitive clit had you jolting at the feeling. His lips dragged against your slick folds.

It started out slow and easy. You didn’t want to rush it. His mouth felt too good, his tongue so strong and his lips plush. Plus, his stubble scratching at the sensitive skin of your inner thighs felt incredible. He kissed your clit, and your legs involuntarily quaked against his ears.

He kept going, focusing on his clit. You found your hips rocking against his tongue. He encouraged you to move with his hands, pushing at your hips and his jaw moving beneath you.

You rested the side of your head against your upper arm and really rode his face. After all, it was exactly what you wanted. You moaned as his nose repeatedly bumped against you. He moaned in reply. Each hard sway of your hips, every lick to your clit was escalating a deep, straining tension that needed to be released.

You knew that release was coming. It was coming faster than you would’ve liked.

“You’re gonna make me come,” you groaned. “So good.”

In response, he spread his hands over your ass and pressed you harder against his mouth. The growing pleasure suddenly sharpened and moved up your spine like lightening. You pushed a hand into the loose strands of his hair and fisted it as you fucked his mouth.

Like the waves crashing around outside Rafe’s bedroom window, your climax drowned out everything else. It pulsed through you in a repeating, punishing beat. You hips kept hunching forward, stimulating your already over-stimulated nerve endings , your orgasm relentlessly going and going until you felt like you were sure you were about to cry.

You tried to slow down, but Rafe sucked at your clit again. It was too much and you were already stunned from the first round. The second one punched you in the chest, as you collapsed against the cool wall. You were weakened by pleasure, you orgasm literally striking you into silence.

You felt his warm, needy breath between your legs and realized he was barely holding on too. You let go of his hair and angled your pussy away from his mouth. He groaned with a yearning, but het you drop down to the side and lie on the bed.

“Oh fuck,” you gasped and spread a hand on your lower stomach, under your top.

You were quivering, like really quivering all over. You insides were still pulsing with the last traces of your orgasm. Your heart was hammering in your chest. You felt sticky and buoyant and frankly, fucking invincible, like every other time Rafe had made you cum.

He trapped your calf against his chest with a sweat-damp hand. “Pretty good apology, huh?” he commented, his voice scratchy with a light chuckle.

You barked out a laugh. “Oh baby, you’re not done yet.”

His head shot up, his hair sticking up in all sorts of crazy directions. “What?”

You dragged your leg out of his loose hold and planted your foot on the bed. “It’s your turn now, Rafe.”

A deviant smirk spread across his lips as he leaned towards you. “Oh, fuck yeah…”

#obx #outer banks #obx netflix #outer banks netflix #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron imagine #outer banks imagines #outer banks fanfiction #obx savage #obx fanfiction #jj maybank #john b routledge #topper thornton

[s-c-r-i-p-s-i]

Eternity

[Dead by Baelight’s Secret Santa 2020]

🖤 🖤 🖤

“Darling mine…”

The acoustics of the mind are unlike any other. His words roll into Feng Min’s consciousness like a sweet, sultry fog. Blanketing all. Filling every crack and crevice.

“If you don’t stop moving I’m going to have to strap you down.”

🖤 🖤 🖤 Pairing: Herman Carter (Doctor) x Feng Min

Rating: Explicit

CW: smut

Word Count: 960

“Darling mine…”

The acoustics of the mind are unlike any other. His words roll into Feng Min’s consciousness like a sweet, sultry fog. Blanketing all. Filling every crack and crevice.

It had taken a while for her to get used to the way he spoke - or, more accurately, communicated. Now the second voice in her head was almost as welcome as her own. Maybe even more so.

You could say Herman Carter lives in Feng Min’s head rent-free.

“Yes?” She answers the way lovers do, breathily, her eyes fluttered closed in concentration on the feeling of him filling her up so nicely. Perfectly conjoined. He caressed every wall.

“If you don’t stop moving I’m going to have to strap you down.”

He must have felt her clench around him in anticipation of him making good on that saccharine threat, - or perhaps merely caught the needy note in the sound she just made - because his next words are:

“You won’t find it very fun, I assure you.”

She has no doubt he means it. Herman would strap her to a gurney and just leave her there without so much as batting an eye - and not just because the things were permanently forced open.

But because she’d let him.

And sure, he’d indulge her. Eventually. But he’d make her wait long enough that it really wasn’t fun anymore.

God, It wasn’t fair! She wanted to drive him absolutely feral. Make him lose control. What a power trip that would be.

Instead, here she was, sat on his cock, and he was reading a fucking book.

She doesn’t understand how he can be so blase about it all. But he’s always been like this. Tolerant, sometimes even cooperative, but for the most part? Zero fucking interest. Even when they were in the heat of it, he seemed much more fascinated with her reactions - the sounds and twitches he could pull out of her - than anything else.

Min moves to adjust herself a little - for her own comfort this time, and this is apparently allowed, seeing as he says nothing, just quietly flips the page. But it gives her an idea.

“It’s uncomfortable,” She whines.

It’s not. She feels so, so full, but it’s not bad. Not painful. He would have never abided her grabby little hands coaxing him hard and allowed her to sink down on him if he thought she couldn’t take it. He is, in some ways, actually concerned about her comfort.

But he also takes no shit.

And the only thing that was uncomfortable was her arousal and how painfully not enough this was.

“You’re welcome to leave whenever you want,” he reminds her, and she feels a spike of irritation shoot through her as he has the audacity to cooly turn the page again without so much as a passing glance. “No one made you get up there, rabbit.”

Quite possibly Min’s least favorite of all his pet names for her. Sure, it was cute... until he explained it.

‘A bouncy, sex-obsessed nuisance animal.’ She remembered a thoughtful, almost impish pause. ‘Also, you stomp when you cum. It’s fitting,’ he said.

‘Fuck you’, she said.

Then he called her a paragon of eloquence and she stormed off somewhere.

So she’s not good at expressing herself. Big deal.

Even now, she’s vibrating with mounting anger, ready to reach up and snatch his collar and give him a piece of her damn mind.

The only thing stopping her is the fact that she has dick-brain at the moment and she hadn’t settled on what exact words she was about to lay down - but you could bet it was going to be colorful and choice. Whenever she figured it out.

As her anger starts to rise, so does she - a tic Herman has seen enough times to recognize.

He calls it ‘a lizard-brained threat response’ and apparently finds her ‘puffing herself up to look bigger’ incomparably hilarious.

She calls it ‘You’re a gigantic asshat, stop psychoanalyzing me.’

Min doesn’t even realize she’s doing it until she hears the odd split-tone note of both his telepathic giggles echoing off the caverns of her skull and the real, audible little huff of amusement from the back of his throat at the same time.

His hand comes to cradle the small of her back, and slowly, Herman eases her back down and towards him in something of an embrace, fingers gently stroking her back as he pins her to him.

Min has a hunch he only did it so he could read over her head, but much to her dismay, the constant pressure has the soothing effect of a weighted blanket, and she can feel the steam slowly leaving her.

Relaxing if only briefly, Min leaned into his warm chest and let her gaze idly roam around the study. Books upon books upon books.

“You need to learn how to slow down,” He tells her. “One can enjoy being immersed in a field of flowers without snorting all the roses like crack cocaine. Savoring is an important coping skill.”

He’s very good at dancing around her... problems. Gentle allusions. Open-ended questions. Exasperating impartiality. He is, at his very core, a therapist.

And she hates it.

All she wants to do is bounce on his dick. Why does everything have to be a teachable moment?

It’s quiet for a moment, the only sound in the study some boring documentary he had on the television, and eventually, the rasp of paper as he flipped another page.

There’s nothing physically stopping her from moving. Just the knowledge that, if she does, he’ll pluck her right off of him for 'distracting' him and 'not being good.'

“Quit your pouting,” He tells her. “We have eternity.”

Eternity.

What a scam. 🖤  🖤 🖤

Thank you for reading!!!

🖤  🖤 🖤  

Author’s Notes:

Okay, okay, okay - so this TECHNICALLY isn't a secret Santa present but I still wanted to feel like I ~participated~ and more importantly, give my darling @pugglers​ a little something for Christmas.

This is just a teeny tiny window into one of the dynamics I could see DocFeng potentially taking on, and I'll admit it ended up a lot more... wholesome (and a lot less smutty) than I was expecting.

This is also way more, idk, floaty and freeform and spur of the moment than I'm used to doing for a published work, so I'm a LITTLE insecure about it on multiple levels but here we fuckin goooooo!

---

Please comment if you enjoyed; I am a simple goblin who thrives on the external motivation.

You can find my socials and masterlist on my carrd!

Or, join my 18+ DBD thirst server 🔞 Dead by Baelight 🔞 here!

#dead by daylight #dbd #docfeng #doctor dbd #feng min #ficlet #scripsi #my writing

[superemeralds]

OH WOW thank you for answering so fast!! I wanted to ask because in my opinion, Shadow is written kind of... poorly.. at the metal virus arc :c and I love how you characterize Shadow!! I was wondering, if you could, how would you have written him in it?

okay so this got. RAELLY long. it’s under the read more.. hhaaa... get ready for rambles.

before i start on what i would love to see different, here’s a few things that i really liked about his characterization in idw:

shadow being persistent about what he thinks is right, being very straightforward and strict in wanting to execute his ideal

the way he stepped down and let sonic try his way instead of being stubborn because sonic made a very good point. Shadow wants to be fair, and if he of all people deserves a chance, then so should eggman. kind of ties back to maria also, which is a nice nod to have considering it seems like modern writers for sonic usually treat the ending of shth as “ok she never existed to him anyways”

i like that he uses his GUN affiliation to his advantage to do good and help people (even if by rouges account he does it because he doesnt want to deal with zombots)

he has great devotion to make sure the truck is safe and peole get a chance to get out, giving (according to the comics anyways) more than 100% of his power dealing with hundreds if not thousands of zombots alone

I like that there’s a nod to shadow being insecure about his status as ultimate life form, and he is tempted to get infected just to prove to himself he really CANT get sick and he really IS a perfect being. He struggled a lot with the high expectations that were laid upon him, the expectations he’s laying upon himself.

I like how he had a great sense of shock and defeat when he realized that he DID get infected. It’s very true for him to be thrown off by it, get a little careless due to shock. its natural. it’s good.

his “i told you something like this would happen” towards sonic in the beginning of #19 is justified. He hates that he was right, he always is, and he wishes he wasnt. he could’ve prevented this, but its too late now. then later he risks getting infected with the metal virus, and he DOES get infected. He suddenly wasnt right anymore. This sense of irony... it’s probably one of the reasons he has trouble to concentrate on the fight. it’s a nice parallel. IDK if ian intended it to be this deep, but that’s what i read into it.

(i also want to point out that i like that herms gives everyone slightly diverse “skin”-tones. like diverse undertones. im still peeved they are all pretty pale but its hoenstly a nice little nod)

okay so here’s what i think could’ve gone better:

I feel like shadow being the one to drive the truck into the city is a reference to 06, where he is driving around in various vehicles. That in itself is nice, and i think shadow is a person who prefers to do things himself if there’s a lot at stake (which there was a lot of peoples lives) but i also think that he would think of himself as a powerful shield. He would rather be the one overseeing the battlefield insread of being the designated driver. He knows he was created for the frontlines, and he is someone who knows he can survive the front lines. He is not a sacrefice tobe made, he is the one who will make sure that no one else has to sacrefice themselves. Shadow should’ve been on site from the very beginning. Where is the rest of GUN anyways? Those low level humans should make an effort to protect the life on their planet.

Shadow did absolutely NOT use 100% of his pwoer to protect the truck. He could EASILY have done more. He can lift trucks. He could use chaos blast. He could easily have prevented just faling victim to the zombots so easily.

As mentioned above it kind of DOES make sense for him to go down easily due to being infected, but I think this was the wrong time to let him get infected. I think he wouldn’t let his guard down and carelessly touch a zombot. He would not give in to the temptation to test his limits like this if there was not a greater cause. I think he would easily break if someone he cared about (other than sonic) fell victim to the metal virus. This is something that would get him emotional, to get careless. He knows sonic can outrun the virus, but rouge can’t. Amy, Tails, Knuckles, Vector, all of Sonic’s friends can’t outrun the virus. There’s a big chance that he is immune, there’s a slim chance he is not. But even with that slim chance, he knows he could outrun it, just like sonic. Losing someone he cares about to the virus would remind him of his superiority, of how fragile life is and of his responsibility to protect life itself. Any restrait would be gone. He would be driven by guilt and anger at himself, that he could’ve done better, that he HAS to do better. It’s something that spirals him totally out of control. It’s something that would make him want to prove to himself that he has the ability to fix it all. because it’s all his fault.

this is honestly something that is so important. he feels responsible for this, because he did what was right and gave sonic and eggman a chance. In his mind, sometimes the right hting to do is the wrong thing to do, because sometimes only wrong actions get you to the right goal. he is a gray character like that, and i think it’s not shown enough. his regret and guilt don’t surface enough so that anyone who is not as invested in the character would be able to read it out of #19. there’s a lot of stuff going on inside shadow in this issue and its just. not enough time to unpack it all. this whole deal of him getting infected was too rushed. (as mentioned above i wouldve preferred he get infected a little later or under other circumstances)

I think shadow is aware of his responsibility as living weapon to not fall into the hands of the enemy. he has learned what it means to be manipulated, he learned what it means if he was used as a weapon by an enemy of life on earth. he does NOT want to be used as an object of destruction ever again. He would RUN. even if hesitant, but his emotions would make him excell even in that. he would make sure he’d run faster than sonic. he’s want to make sure that he’d give 110% and cure himself, something sonic couldn’t do.

the way he would go down in my mind is him excerting himself. He would absolutely reject help. he would prefer to not have any contact with anyone at all. For one because he feels guilty and he doesn’t want to deal with that emotionally, also because he doesn’t want anyone to see him in this state of weakness. He absolutely would loathe the idea of anyone being able to see him go down and surrender to the enemy. He would absolutely exhaust his entire energy reservoir building barricades and being the sole and only front line protecting evacuation efforts from a distance, to make sure that they have enough buffer to escape, should he fail.

shadow is someone  who is rash and has a tendency to boast his strength, but he also is someone who tries to consider any and all possibilities, no matter how painful they are to admit to his pride. he will shove them to the back of his mind, but they are still there. and if it COMES to those scenarios, he will have a plan for them. only if unpredictable things happen, or things that shake him emotionally, he would lose grip.

also in all those talks abt things shaking him emotionally, i dont mean that other people who arent his friends are not important to him, its just that friendship has a bigger impact on people. i think that should be pretty obvious, but since people like to misinterpret shadow id like to make sure people understand that i think that shadow values all and every life on the planet. he griefs over random deaths as much as his friends, it’s just that it hits more personal. mostly because he thinks... of himself as someone who always protects, but never has to be protected.

shadows relationship with himself is complicated. he thinks very low of himself. he pretty much hates himself. but that is because he thinks oh so highly of himself. he is perfect, ultimate, unbeatable, unstoppable, immortal, immune.... he expects all this of himself... even though he knows that it’s not true. it’s the one thing that he knows of himself. The one thing he feels that he could maybe achieve if he tried hard enough, and of course he is never trying hard enough; and at the same time he is trying so hard. He gives 300% and yet he still feels like he halfasses everything and he still feels like he could do better. On the outside he presents it with his strict edgy persona, that looks down on everyone. but really he feels so small. most of all towards sonic. sonic is so so tall compared to shadow (pun intended).

he looks up to sonic so much, because he always manages to go out of hisway to do what is right. even if it meant risk, even if it meant weakness. Sonic, the guy that easily could just get killed and hurt and not recover. the funny jokes dude that never thinks more than a single step ahead. This boy is out there risking his life for the life of this planet on the front lines and he shows not a single care about his own safety, always putting everyone else before him. shadow envies him. he really really does. thats why he values his opinoin. thats why he listens to him and even steps back from his OWN ideals, something he would do for only VERY few people, because of course shadow is always right. this is referenced in various sonic games (sa2 most of all,shth,sth) and in sonic x (yea its not canon but like. They Really Got His Character).

ADDING SOME RAMBLING AFTER ISSUE #33 RELEASED

#shadcanon #kinda? #meta/ shadow #i still love my meta tag #anonymous #fan lore

[wetalkinboutbooks]

Reaper of Souls by Rena Barron

Summary: After so many years yearning for the gift of magic, Arrah has the one thing she’s always wanted—at a terrible price. Now the last surviving witchdoctor, she’s been left to pick up the shattered pieces of a family that betrayed her, a kingdom in shambles, and long-buried secrets about who she is. 

Desperate not to repeat her mother’s mistakes, Arrah must return to the tribal lands to search for help from the remnants of her parents’ people. But the Demon King’s shadow looms closer than she thinks. And as Arrah struggles to unravel her connection to him, defeating him begins to seem more and more impossible—if it’s something she can bring herself to do at all.

Set in a richly imagined world inspired by spine-tingling tales of voodoo and folk magic, Kingdom of Souls was lauded as “masterful” by the School Library Journal in a starred review. This explosively epic sequel will have readers racing to the can’t-miss conclusion. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌗

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Overall: A messy sequel to an amazing series, we get to see the after effects of the fall out of Arrah vs. Efiya from KOS… and when we tell you it is MESS!!!

~Spoiler-Full Review Below~

The Good: 

→ Arrah and Dimma

Geena: One of my favourite things about Reaper was the sprinkle of Dimma’s POVs throughout the story. We got an insight into Dimma’s life before she was Arrah, and how her relationship with the other Orisha and Daho developed. It also really helped build up the suspense near the end and set up plot twists that clocked us near the end. Dimma aside, let’s talk about Arrah. Rena Barron said brooding boys are out, brooding girls are IN! And you know what, we love to read it. The story starts off with Arrah trying to save Sukkar after she snapped all his bones while trying to save him, and she does save him :) Or so she thinks but that’s besides the point. Over the length of the book we follow Arrah’s inner turmoil of suddenly having the power of 10 tribal chieftains and being insecure about whether or not she even deserves it.

I loved Arrah, even when she was holding herself up to a terribly high bar and beating herself up about everything she did. Arrah helped bring her Auntie back from the dead and was like “Damn I suck :/” and thought shattering a girl’s glass (who was flirting with Rudjek) put her on the same level as her mom and Efiya. I was sitting there like NO GIRL YOU’RE PERFECT, YOU, YOUR MISSING TOOTH AND YOUR PETTY NATURE!! 

Kae: YAAAAAAAAAS! Geena summed Arrah and Dimma up perfectly. 

But I would like to add how much I love Arrah and how selfless she is. She’s always thinking about her friends and their safety, the safety of the tribal people, and of course the kingdom. She’s a worry woman, but for all the right reasons. And she also cares about herself; so much even that like Geena said, she beats herself up for the smallest of things. She’s so worried about being evil like her mother and her sister, that she calculates every single move that she makes, debating if it’s really worth it to use strong magic or not. 

As for Dimma, I loved her POV’S. She is a complex character who has been demonized since book 1. We were taught to believe, through the POV of some of the Gods, that Dimma was a horrible Goddess who wrought nothing but chaos. They erased her name from history, LITERALLY. And Dimma became known as the Unnamed Orisha. While reading her POV, we learn that Dimma was quite selfless, much like Arrah (since they are technically the same person). Dimma was full of love and loved even harder. She went out of her way to give Daho immortality as well as his people, because she loved them so much. She defied the rules of the universe for her love, and it only came to bite her in the ass in the end. Like her siblings told her, “A God’s love is a dangerous thing.” And it was, but not exactly for the reasons one might think.

Geena:  Kae’s summary of Dimma and Arrah is AMAZING, you know my ability to connect dots when reading is kinda shit so reading Kae’s summary gave me realization…  Arrah tries so hard to separate herself from Dimma, because she refuses to believe that a part of her is in love with Daho because she herself is in love with Rudjek… but it’s like girl… you have travelled to the ends of the earth to fight and bring back the people you love (the tribespeople) just like Dimma searched the ends of the universe for immortality to give to Daho. It’d be much easier to reconcile your feelings if you just accepted that “Okay, I may have been Dimma but now I am Arrah”

Also another thing I love about Arrah is how she had…. For a time… three dudes in love with her… or at least what she thought was three dudes. Real hot girl shit. 

→ Rudjek and Daho

Geena: You know the character archetype that’s like a snarky boy who knows he’s hot shit and acts accordingly, but when it comes to the person he’s in love with he’s just a bowl of mush. That’s Rudjek, and only Rudjek can pull it off. In KOS, he was slated to be the next vizier because of his father, in Reaper he’s known as a prince because his dad snaked his way into becoming the monarch. So, now he’s the snarky prince…. And the only snarky prince with rights! His POVs were actually so fun to read, like following the politics of the Kingdom and him dealing with his new craven powers…. Which also had him being able to smell pheromones when people were doing the dirty around him 😭

I really liked that Rena gave him a POV, because now we get to see how he develops given the fact that him and Arrah are dangerous to one another, because he saps her magic with a single touch and could kill her. The whole time Arrah is stressing like “Damn, what if he doesn’t like me anymore because we can’t touch” meanwhile Rudjek is like “I’ll fight the Gods if I have to, to keep her by my side” and it’s like 🥺Also, who let a teenager be in control of a whole army… I thought the vizier was a sly and smart man but I digress… Another thing I liked about Rudjek in this book was that he didn’t shy away from uncomfortable conversations with Arrah, regarding the fact that he confused Efiya for Arrah when they did the unspeakable in the clearing in KOS. Like, that was very mature of them and I’m glad they could deal with that misunderstanding… But… hands down… my favourite scene… During the climax of the book Rudjek gets a demon soul shoved down his body, and immediately assumes it’s the demon king…. And his only command to his friends is to not let him near Arrah😭😭😭 I was like PEAK ROMANCE, SOFTEST SHIT, SACRIFICIAL LOVER!!!!! 

Kae: SO GEENA SUMMED UP RUDJEK SO DAMN WELL. LIKE DUDE OMG? Correct. He is perfect. I really don’t have much to add but I just genuinely loved him as a character. He is caring for both Arrah and his friends. He is also one of the few male characters I’ve read that actively tries to go against their father. Most dudes in books are like “Fine puhpa, I shall do your evil bidding.” But Rudjek is like “Sike bitch, I’ll let you think that but I’m doing what I WAAAANT!” 

But okay, let’s talk about Daho. So first off, I love him??? Am I a villain sympathizer now? Tbh, I don’t really see him as a villain. Man’s didn’t commit a genocide or try to scheme Arrah out of her pants. AND HE VERY MUCH HAD THE CHANCE TO and he was like “nah.” And I appreciate that. Because there are a few certain villainous men who I shan’t name, that be on that scant shit. And Daho is just like… genuinely trying to avenge his wife’s death (Dimma) and try to get Arrah to remember that she is Dimma. 

YES, I know he got Arti to bring him back. BUUUUUT, he didn’t tell her to kill a bunch of kids and shit to do it. Arti did all that evil shit on her own and Daho was like “look, i don’t condone that shit. But it’s over and I’m sorry it happened but I can’t change it.” And I’m like… okay, mood. I get it. Daho is sweet and caring. He looked out for Arrah in *redacted’s* body because we didn’t know *redacted* was dead the whole time. And even then, Daho was still like “My bad… But he wasn’t using his body??? So I took it???” Why let it go to waste, amiright? 

Geena: STOOOOP FOR REAL HE WAS LIKE “It was empty, I didn’t think you’d mind” 

Kae: LMAOOO OKAY BUT DEADASS. And like, idk man. He just seriously isn’t a bad person. He was trapped because after the God’s killed Dimma, he was like “BET IMMA JUST KILL THEM” and they lowkey were shook so they trapped his ass in a box for a millenia or whatever. He wasn’t even out to kill all humanity or anything. The God’s were just being some haters and now he’s suddenly the bad guy. Anyway, we stan Daho in this house. 

Geena: Daho is how you write a sympathetic villain. He owns up to his own mistakes even while his demons run free terrorizing people. Kae said it best that he just wants justice for his wife and unfortunately history is written by the victors so the Orisha painted him out to be a bad guy… My dude was just chugging that respecting my wife juice and they killed her… and he also thinks they killed his son… Guess me and Kae are just villain sympathizers now 

The Bad:   

→ The Ending 

Kae: Okay, let’s get it. And I also just want to clarify that when we say “the bad”, we don’t mean we hate it. This is just something that was like “oh fuck, this is BAAAAD! THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GO DOOOWN.” 

But like, good Lord. The ending? That shit was crazy. First of all, we find out that *redacted* aka, SUKKAR. OUR SWEET, PLAYFUL, SARCASTIC SUKKAR. IS DEAD. HE HAS BEEN DEAD THIS WHOLE TIME!? Excuse me while I *SCREEEEEEEEEEEAM*. Like, what an unforeseen twist. This mf kicked the bucket back in KOS when Arrah tried to save him. Turns out… She maybe… Totally… possibly… Absolutely killed my guy on accident. He dead-dead. And this is how we find out that Daho took over his body, once Sukkar’s spirit ascended. It was a really sad reveal and my heart kind of hurt reading it. I straight up wasn’t expecting that to happen. THEEEEEN. GOTDAMN EFIYA. IS BROUGHT BACK. 

Geena: No joke, the ending of Reaper was just one sucker punch followed by another… At first you think Tyrek (the prince from KOS who joins Arrah and her crew on a journey to save the tribespeople) is the demon king, then you think it’s Rudjek because he’s getting possessed, and then you learn it’s Sukkar… The final punch to the gut was Daho bringing back Efiya because his close general asked for her… because she’s his daughter. We were like, DAHO ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU SAW THE DAMAGE SHE DID TO THE HUMANS!!! Like Efiya may have grown quickly in a few months but her brain isn’t fully developed, like that girl is UNHINGED!!! I thought we were done with the Efiya chapter but here we are, and I’m scared to see what role she’ll play in the final instalment of the series. I guess this is the case of bringing back an old villain that can work out really well…  I trusted Rena with the messy Arrah/Daho/Rudjek love triangle, so I trust her with this too 

The Ugly:  

→ Tyrek 

Geena: Remember how I said Rudjek is the only valid snarky prince… Yea, Tyrek can CHOKE!! In KOS he sides with Efiya and she wreaks havoc in the Kingdom, and in Reaper he’s brought to his knees. Rudjek’s dad wants to execute him for his crimes, but Arrah sympathizes with him because she knows how Efiya’s mind control worked. As you read, you get a sense of “Okay, maybe he isn’t bad, he’s helping Arrah and them” but then you get to the climax and you’re like okay nvm this boy was insane… Imagine travelling to a whole other dimension and making deals with demons, because you’re in a fucked up sort of romance with a half-demon girl. He managed to lie to Arrah that he was being controlled by Efiyah, when he was really with Efiya the whole way…. Even when she told him to murder his whole family… this man was vile!! He’s also one of our first fake outs, when he pretends to be the demon king I was kinda disappointed… I was like no this ruins the messy love triangle I’ve been waiting for! But it was just a fake out, Tyrek was just trying to scare Arrah into freeing Efiya, whose soul was in the demon dagger that Arrah used to kill her in KOS. Overall, 1/10 for this man… the 1 point is for when he figured out “Sukkar” had a crush on Arrah before Arrah even knew.  

Conclusion 

Kae: So, I don't have much to add to Tyrek’s snake ass. He really was ugly in the end. I’m glad he’s dead. 

But to conclude, this was such an amazing, refreshing read. Reaper of Souls was a wonderful sequel to Kingdom of Souls. Rena writes so beautifully and she didn’t hesitate to have us readers shaking in our boots. Getting more background information on Dimma, the Gods, and their old ass war, was really fun and insightful! IT added to the story in a way I hadn’t even thought about until I was consuming it all! 

Arrah and Rudjek are perfect angels and I can’t wait to see where book three leads them. I also want to give a shout out to Essnai and Majka for being such good friends to Arrah and Rudjek. Same to Kira and the Cravens. This is a really close knit group of friends who will go to the ends of the Earth (and literally new dimensions) for each other. THAT’S LOVE, BITCH. And we LOVE to see it. 

Geena: For real! Rena Barron set up such an amazing cast of characters, and she really emphasizes the power of friendship in her series and it’s one of my favourite things to read. With Reaper, from the very start, she sets up the story in such a way you’re literally screaming by the end… I think it requires a special kind of skill to be able to set up a story so well that while you do make predictions about what’s going to happen, it still shocks you when you realize you’re right. Cannot wait to see the absolute mess that will be the final book, with Rudjek/Arrah vs. Daho… and the drama it will bring now that the Orishas realize that Arrah is Dimma’s reincarnation.  

#Reaper of Souls #Rena Barron #YA #Kingdom of Souls #booklr #book review #wetalkinboutbooks #bookish #book blogging #book blogger #books #reading #Arrah #Rudjek #our post

[goingphlash]

Swap au

Ok so

Like

Imagine

Barry and Danny switch roles

I mean

Barry Allen - The Impossible

ok, I know the name is lame but Barry was like ‘I spend all my life searching for the impossible, but I never thought I’d become The Impossible.’

anyway, he went to Amity Park and check out the ghost hunting family, the Fentons

Barry instantly loves them and Jack and Maddie want to adopt him SO BAD

they show him the Portal (still unfunctional)

something happens and the Fentons have to leave but Barry can stay (wearing a trademark jumpsuit for aestetic safety)

tHeRe WaS A gReAt bIG FlAsh EvErYtHiNg JuSt ChAnGeD

(his MoLeCuLeS got all rearanged)

and then he died became half ghost

he would still be a hero (duh)

he takes a job as the local CIA so he can protect the town and lives with Jack snd Maddie

Sam and Tucker saw him transform at dome point and were like O.O

same thing with Jazz, which becomes a younger sister-like figure for Barry

of course they want to help him (to increase Barry’s anxiety levels)

and they are surprisingly helpfull

I feel like Barry would have way less of a crisis when he got hos powers. If anything, he’d be as happy as he ever was

thought ghost powers are harder to control but he’d manage

I also see him as more dedicated to ghost hunting than Danny ever was. He’d do as much research as he could and even work at ghost hunting devices

when ghosts are public knowledge, I feel like he’d become a specialist slong with thr Fentons

but he wouldn’t be as agressive towards ghost as Danny because he didn’t grow up with the same prejudices. Besides, he’s more open-minded and would make less enemies

though, Danny, despite being petty, is more willing to forgive than Barry so idk

Valerie might still become the Red Huntress, though Barry would make a bigger effort to change her mind. He understands where she’s coming from and he wouldn’t want to hurt a teenager

Vlad might want Barry to be more of an apprentice than a son. That dynamic wouldn’t cange much

Also, it might have taken him longer to figure out Spectra was a ghost, or that there was a ghost in Casper High

but with almost no casualties, his mental health will not suffer at all

I feel like a Barry would be mole willing to tell otger people his idenity, including the Fentons

Danny Fenton - Danny Fulltilt

yes that’s his hero name (not Cisco approved)

so, maybe the whole Fenton family goes to Central City to see the particle accelerator beliving it might open a gateway to the Ghost Zone or something

but Jack and Maddie get arrested for reckless driving or some sort of harrasment, eventually getting off with a warning

while they’re at the police station, Danny wonders off to Barry’s lab just when the accelerator explodes

and he just happens to be in the exact spot when the lighting strikes

cue to a nine month long coma

luckly, STAR labs is willing to take him in to monitor his condition with his parents’ agreement

meanwhile, Wellsobard facepalms SO HARD cuz godamnit I got the wrong kid

like, he messed up the timeline and now this teenager replaced the Flash which isn’t even named Flash anymore

the future is so diffrent now it’s a wonder he’s still there

anyway, after Danny wakes up, I doubt he’ll go out wandering in another city. Caitlin will definetly run more tests on him, eventually revealing his powers

speaking of Caitlin and Cisco, in this au they might be even more guilt-ridden because this is a kid their work put in a coma for almost an year

the STAR team will also keep Danny under observation and tutor him, with regular visits from his family

Danny won’t have any existential crisi over his powers because, like, these scientists guys explained what they are and how they work, he’s still human and they’re actually pretty neat

but Danny is still Danny and will still try to stop all the metas wreking havoc around the city

Cisco and Caitlin are like ABSOLUTELY NOT IT’S TOO DANGEROUS FOR A KID WE ALREADY PUT YOU IN DANGER AS MUCH AS WE DID AND—were’d he go?

eventually, they do reluctanyly help Danny out so he won’t get himself killed, but Eobard is passively agressive more supportive

speaking of which, he would be harsher and more dissapointed of Danny because, unlike his Flash, the real Flash, he outsmarts his enemies instead of getting faster (way to add up to Danny’s insecurities)

Danny get beaten meets the Reverse Flash as Eowells attempt to make the kid open his eyes and realise he needs to get faster

Danny wouldn’t tell others but I really want all the other people to find out

Joe, Iris, Eddie and Singh strongly disagree to using a kid as a weapon

Hartley Rathaway would be like ‘Dios mios, Wells. I knew you were a sadist but using a kid into doing your bidding..’ and would try (and succed) into making Danny suspicious of Wells

most criminals would be like wtf is that a kid?

some wouldn’t go easy on him but others (coughSnartcough) would

also I really want the Rogues to team up proprely and kinda adopt Danny

LISTEN DANNY BEING FRENEMIES WITH VILLAINS THE ROGUES IS MY JAM

in the end, Eobard is erased from existence when Iris marries Eddie (who doesn’t die)

Aaaaand that’s all I thought on the spot.

I you have any more ideas, feel free to add.

If you want to write a fic, please go ahead, just let me know so I can read it.

My point os, these two would be way happier if they switched places.

#the flash #danny phantom #crossover #my post #might add more later

[burnedbyshoto]

if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)

anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️

well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.

big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri

Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri

DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri

I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri

AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri

I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!

I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul

theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D

BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD

GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~

I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though

anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.

I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:

@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕

I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything

anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️

It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!

anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!

my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!

anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways

oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO

anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this

i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!

anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝

AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!

many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.

so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;

nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭

LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(

anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰

I got my water right next to me rn bby :D

anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend

bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???

@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.

....you right...

anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina

...send it

anon said: GIRLLLLLL

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)

local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?

uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?

anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol

okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH

@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂

as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO

🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥

Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥

URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D

ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT

~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~

anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?

....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)

this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)

anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((

I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)

@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING

BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE

anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha

well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)

anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.

i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)

#ask lyssa anything #lyssa doesnt shut up #anonymous

[heartsunholy-a]

2 & 17 for the ship meme !

Let’s Talk Ships! // @warsraging

2. Favorite familial ship

Okay SO! Out of my own muses, I definitely can’t pick one so I’ma ramble off a few. This is gonna get super long. 

In my head, I’ve got a lot of hcs about Giselle kinda being the runt of the litter and isolating herself from her brothers and just doing her own thing but every time I write her with her family??? I’m reminded how much she adores them?? So I’m gonna shout out @dawnswake , @sixbillicnsouls , @confidcntdarling / @asortofsensation , and @pureparagons . Giselle ADORES Gil, adores her mom and her aunts, adores her sister Cosette, and adores the twins. Shout out to @grandnoirbeau for being an excellent Gaston but we all know Giselle’s got a complicated relationship with her papa.

On the subject of Adam, I would die for Melody and Eric Jr. Andersen???? Precious mermaid sister and water controlling brother??? Melody and EJ have this almost borderline unhealthy self-sacrificial determination to do Everything They Can for each other but at the end of the day, it’s just pure love. Sibs against the world.

I know I talk a lot about Betty and Race being sibs but that’s just pure brotp and as far as her actual siblings go, I love that I’ve gotten to bounce her off of @tatterdhearts ‘s Polly!! One of the things I actually gelled with on R.iverd.ale was how B.etty and P.olly tried their best to be their for each other and while I hc a more healthy dynamic for the C.oopers than the show presented for Obvious Reasons, I still hc B.etty as closer to P.olly than C.hic and she’d do just about anything for her big sister’s approval and affection. I still think about the first time I saw P.olly in the comics whic was during the future arc L.ife with A.rchie. And at this point in the story, R.eggie is accused of extortion and P.olly bursts in from San Francisco like “Baby sister, I trust your taste and if you say R.eggie is innocent, my investigative journalism is gonna prove it!” AND SHE DOES AND IT’S GREAT

Also I can’t not shout out the T.remaines like, I’ve been developing the triplets for such a long time and I adore the words I’ve built for them and all the family I’ve gotten to bounce them off of! Your Ana being one of the first people I got to bounce them off of, Sofia, makes me happy just thinking about it!! @we-are-guiltless has of course been my ride or die with T.remaine feels, more so now that I have Anastasia and Drizella to bounce off Anthony and Dizzy. @withoutapprcval for all the T.remaine crack and angst, we love a wine mom. @soughtbirthright because the triplets love their cousin, they’re all wlw disaster children. And of course I gotta shout out @islecaptain !! I’m probably gonna keep the triplets’ dad unknown in their main verse because I’ve just built so much about their family dynamic without a father but GOD I just??? Drizella and Hans??? Are perfect for each other and Hans is so unbelievably good to the triplets and Dizzy and Reggie who’s Desc verse has him as Hans’s son but from a different woman and Driz just took him in because “I’m already pregnant with triplets, what’s one more gonna matter.” Alana once had a reply where in Hans speculates internally that getting 4 daughters was his curse for his poor treatment of Anna, as he’s constantly worried about how the men and boys on the Isle will treat them and it just??? God I love the Tremaine-Westergaards so much, y’all don’t even K N O W

And then finally, I gotta shout out my N.ewsies kids, even though all their family members are npcs in my own mind. But Spot adores his mother and Fiona Conlon is a boss ass bitch single mother and we stan. Hotshot and her twin brother Frankie and all their siblings are just the sweetest lil family unit and they protect each other so much??? And while they’re all deceased during the canon timeline, Mush Meyers had the best parents and the absolute Best Grandma in the world and the world needs to know that.

Also, bonus since I cannot wait to add them, I love B.illy B.atson and all the kids at the group home as well as the foster parents. I just love S.hazam okay leave me alone

17. A ship you hate but everyone loves

Okay admittedly, I do enjoy this ship more NOW. But it still makes my stomach clench anxiously just talking about it.

I stopped watching L.egends of T.omorrow just before the E.arth X crossover and haven’t looked back. So when S.ara and A.va / A.val.ance first get together, it just seemed really fast for me. I dug the hateship to friends thing but it seemed like friends to dating was hella rushed and I wanted more development. I thought it was just cheating Sara out of development by pushing her into a relationship super fast, especially with someone she clashed with so much at first. Now, again, from the little I’ve seen of them post getting together, I can dig it. They do get development and care about each other and I like what I’ve seen in gifs from season 4.

However, my neutral to disinterested feelings on the couple were an outlier. The entire fandom went apeshit for them and it got to the point where I was so insecure and worried that I’d be a bad Sara or worse, a bad biromantic woman myself if I didn’t sing their praises. Legit, writing this has me worried I’m gonna get hate anons calling me homophobic for not being super enthusiastic about it, despite having other favorite ships with S.ara and women (y’all sleeping on S.ara/K.endra btw and I miss S.uperc.anary)

Granted, I don’t hate the ship anymore if I ever did, I’m just so wary about writing it and am way more into starting from the ground up (or maybe the first or second floor up) with an A.va. Primarily because I don’t have a lot of canon knowledge on their relationship and partly because I wanna fall in love with them but idk if I can shake these negative feelings my own anxieties have drummed up.

#messages #warsraging #i'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color (ooc) #((y i k e s this got ridiculously long but thank you love!!))

[ptw30]

VLD Season 7 Reactions: Part 2

Hi, @dreamworksanimation and @voltron! Hope you had a great holiday weekend. I received more asks since the last time I sent you a post. Please give these a read, as these are the reviews sent to me from the fandom. Best - ptw30

Anonymous said: Voltron is all build up and no follow up. They teased us with a very cool premise and then slowly went away from it till they finally went to "nope don't remember didn't happen". And the EPs even seem proud of that. I wonder if they ever watched the show :(

The EPs lack the ability to bring a resolution or closure. We never find out Haggar’s motivation or reasoning about Operation Kuron. We never find out who the “other one” was in the pilot. We never find out Shiro’s bayard form. Lance’s insecurities are never resolved. We never find out the limitations of Allura’s powers - she can transfer souls but can’t find the Black Lion galaxies away? There’s just so much left out of the story. 

Anonymous said: Sometimes I think about all of voltron’s loose threads and how this next season is the last and am then transported back to my high school days of putting off projects until the last second, throwing something together, aiming for at least a passing grade. 

The EPs failed a long time ago, if that’s the case. When they decided to kill off one of the main characters without allowing the team to grieve, forced the most popular paladin off the team, demoted the leader of the team to a soldier, and abandoned its own lore, including breaking the strongest paladin-lion bond without any explanation - they failed to give the viewers any satisfying conclusion to this story. No matter what the next 13 episodes include, it won’t make up for the middle 39 episodes that literally brought tragedy after tragedy, especially to the team’s only LGBTQ+, multiple-minority character. 

@sweet-rabbit​ said: You know, if the EPs wanted us to not like, nay, LOVE AND ADORE Shiro as much as we do, it was probably a huge misstep on their or whoever's part that they hired a man who voiced a freakin' DISNEY RENAISSANCE CHARACTER to voice Shiro. The blasted fools, the lot of them!

Josh Keaton is a consummate professional, and no doubt, Andrea Romano nailed it when working with him and the team. If there is one thing that is absolutely, without a doubt, above reproach with this show - it’s the voice acting. It is outstanding.

@safeautistickeith said: Damsel Shiro aaaaalways felt Suspect ™ for me. Like. Keith can say, ”we saved each other” (whoever wrote that bless them) But, lbr Shiro’s sidelining was a slowburn that started from his damsel-dom. S1: S and K each got a Big Save. K saved S when he came back to Earth. S saved K when K went after Zarkon (Shiro voice: I’ve got you, buddy) S2: K saved S in Across the Universe. S saved K in Marmora. Equals? Yes. Truly. Then s3 comes along and it’s not longer this beautiful, mutual thing, but Shiro becomes a Damsel in Distress. Which Yikes ™ Asian man demoted to damsel? Unfortunate implications. He’s arc has been about leading up until then? Unfortunate implications. He’s a gay male( the reveal planned in s2??) un for tu nate implications. There’s a line between, ”you can be masc and also need help” and just making him a damsel. Big Yikes. 

Voltron originally broke tropes, which was awesome. Allura wasn’t a princess locked away in a castle-ship but a knock-out, drag-out warrior who wasn’t afraid to get into the fray. Shiro, the strong-willed leader, wasn’t afraid to accept help. Keith, the loner, felt perhaps the most for his team. “Loverboy” Lance was actually the heart of the team, rather than a female character playing that part. Hunk, too, was strong but scared, and Pidge was not the stereotypical girl figure. 

In Season 3, the story began to fall into the traps of the tropes it had broken, and it’s been a demoralizing and disappointing journey ever since.

@melissa18999 said:The lack of characters being challenged emotionally is why everything after season 2 bothers me. Kuron’s arc didn’t test the characters on an emotional level given how after the arc is over everyone just moves on. It’s there only to write actual shiro out of the show for a bit rather than seriously affect the cast. Same thing with Keith’s [crap] and every other character. Nothing tests them emotionally. (Maybe Allura with Lotor)

VLD misses a lot of emotional beats. One of the biggest failures was not showing when the team learned about Keith’s Galran heritage. Then we never see the emotional fallout with the clone, other than the team referring to him as “evil.” The clone fought alongside with the team, perhaps longer than Shiro, and the team never mourned him. Sendak and Shiro’s fight? Shiro never says a word, and then Keith kills Sendak, taking away Shiro’s right to fight back against his one-time captors. 

Lotor had Pidge’s dad and didn’t even try to make her a traitor to Team Voltron? Narti could control minds and not one of the paladins was ever brainwashed by her? Haggar did it to a clone, not even Shiro. 

Even Allura and Lotor’s relationship - Allura’s anger was the stereotypical  “woman scorned.”

So much potential, and it’s just wasted. 

Anonymous said: An ask or two doesn't have enough room to describe how much Shiro means to me, how much strength I draw from him, how many dark places he's helped me out of. But s6's treatment of kuron/shiro left me in tears and nearly dissociating for hours, and it's the only season I haven't rewatched. And here's the kicker: Everything I've read about s7 has made the thought of watching it feel identical to an urge to self harm. I want the EPs to think about that. I want them to think hard about people like me, because I doubt I'm the only one who's been affected like this. And I want them to really, really consider if this is the story they wanted to tell. If this is the effect they wanted their story to have.

Shiro is important to many people in terms of representation, and I’ve read many posts about people who identify with him. I’m glad he’s had an impact upon your life, and I hope you can still take comfort in the earlier seasons. Please take care. 

Anonymous said: I think I'd be okay with the "Shiro had a degenerative disease" if that was it alone. Like, it's a really good explanation of why everyone so readily accepted the pilot error thing despite Shiro being an absolute legend of a pilot. But it was tied together with his gay reveal and then the story he was shoved into and... I cannot like it, or accept it.

Shiro was revealed to be LGBTQ+, have a degenerative disease, and lose his place in Voltron - all in one season. The juxtaposition of the reveals is reprehensible, and it sends a horrible message to people who have mental and physical struggles, are LGBTQ+, and minorities. 

Anonymous said: So, here's why the "it's a show abt war so you have to suffer watching, bc there's only tragedy" excuse is weak: It’s a show about space robots, a space robot called voltron. It's not a show about drama, about people dying and it never was. It was supposed to be a show about teamwork (supposed bc that premise has left the building a long time ago) with war comes death? Yes, absolutely, but its not an excuse to kill all of the lgbt characters 

That’s the issue - it’s not an excuse to kill all the LGBTQ+ characters. A show about war that has death and handles appropriately is one thing. Mourning the clone, mourning Shiro, mourning Narti - all those things should have happened, and they didn’t. (These characters were also all with physical and mental disabilities, DreamWorks.)

Showing children closure, helping them to understand death - is a good lesson to learn. But excluding Shiro from his only family, killing his one-time SO in a “fringe” move, and then killing the other LGBTQ+ couple in the show - not to mention killing Shiro four times - that’s a message DreamWorks should not be sending children. 

Anonymous said: The one thing I wanted from Voltron Season 7: Shiro getting to reunite with the team, and work with them again as a part of the team - also, the one thing the Voltron EPs refuse to allow.

Not to be technical - but that’s actually two things. Shiro did reunite with the team, but unfortunately, he wasn’t a part of the team. In fact, he was excluded to the point of no longer even being called a paladin, according to “The Journey Within,” and I agree. I wanted that in Season 7 as well. 

Anonymous said: I'm still lowkey [mad] that Sincline, made of the same material as Voltron, was not sentient, but the MFE fighters and Atlas, which are reverse-engineered galtean tech and run off... idk what they run off, magic low-charge batteries maybe... are implied sentient.

I’m not sure, but I can say - I am sad that didn’t pan out, either. I wanted to see what Lotor and his generals could do in Sincline. I’m sad that Atlas, clearly built for Allura, didn’t talk to Allura first. Instead, she will always be Blue’s second choice, Lance Red’s second choice, and Keith left to Black because Shiro...didn’t not to fly Black anymore? I’m not quite sure why. The story never tells us. 

Rounding back - Sincline had so much more potential than was realized. 

Anonymous said: In not committing to a specific black paladin, or even a specific direction and endgame, the story failed to stay together. It fell apart in the same manner a soft cheese does when pressed to a fine-hole cheese grater.

There are a lot of things that failed to keep the story together. The first and foremost was - you need to keep the team together, or at the very least, not lose two of your main characters in one 26-episode batch, one character for 24 episodes, another for 12.  

Anonymous said: If the EP's have treated Shiro as an equal instead of a 'problem' they had to put up with, would VLD have not have gone downhill? It does feel like their dislike for one character and their stubbornness to stick to their original plan is what dragged the show down. It really does feel like what happened behind the scenes has become a cautionary tale on what you shouldn't do when writing a story and its characters.

I can’t say for sure, but what I can say is - the moment the EPs saw Shiro not as a character but as a plot device, is the moment the story began to unravel. 

cc: @netflix

#voltron #voltron critical #shiro #vld season 7 #dreamworks #anon #answered #melissa18999 #sweet-rabbit #safeautistickeith:

[thetragicescape]

He’s really doing it and he loves you!!

This is seriously getting on my fuckin nerves. I am about to lose it if I hear this one more time. Please. Please stop!!!! I am really not trying to be rude here but I’m about to fucking explode. You have no idea how many people tell me the exact same thing when they don’t personally know him at all. Well I DO know him and he’s been “really doing it” for fucking ever. Saying he’s really doing it, anyway. Do you know how many millions of times he’s even said the exact same words you just said, just to go back on them 5 seconds later? Oh, and then get mad at ME for calling him out on the constant lies and promise breaking?! It’s called integrity, idk if he even knows what that means cause he sure as hell never cared enough to show it around me. He can say whatever he wants, but when all he does is the opposite it doesn’t mean anything. Actions speak louder than words and his actions have shown me the exact opposite of his words. Look. I was dumb enough to believe his lies more times than you or I can count, and all that my blind trust in him has taught me is that he can’t be trusted. Also someone who really loves you doesn’t put their hands around your neck, pull a knife on you, call you a slut whore skank hoe idiot retard dumbass fat ugly worthless pathetic bitch piece of shit etc. They don’t tell you to fucking kill yourself and you deserve to die because nobody cares about you and it would make everyone in the world happy… Now what horrible crimes did I commit to get this evil Mr Hyde to come out? LEAVING THE MOTHERFUCKING DOOR UNLOCKED. ACCEPTING OUR EX ROOMMATES FIANCEES OFFER TO BUY ME TAMPONS. SMILING. THROWING UP WHEN I WAS SICK. TAKING A FEW SECONDS TOO LONG TO PICK A MOVIE. SAYING ONE WRONG WORD. BREATHING WRONG. BLINKING WRONG. MOVING WRONG. WANTING TO SEE MY FAMILY. BEING HIGH, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS ALWAYS HIGH WITH ME. BEING HIGHER THAN HIM WHEN HE WOULD PURPOSEFULLY GIVE ME MORE DOPE THAN HIMSELF (AND AFTER I TOLD HIM HE COULD HAVE MORE OF IT THAN ME). FUCKING EXISTING PRETTY MUCH!!! HE ONLY WANTS ME AROUND TO HAVE HIS GOOD OLD EMOTIONAL PUNCHING BAG TO ABUSE AND MAKE FEEL LIKE SHIT SO IT MAKES HIM FEEL BETTER ABOUT HIMSELF. Someone that loves you wouldn’t control every aspect of your life and force you to do what they want 24/7, ignoring your protests and cries. For example they wouldn’t wake you up at 5:30 in the morning and force you to go with them to the store across the street, getting mad at YOU and abusing YOU because you don’t blindly comply and want sleep. They dont go out of their way to pick at your insecurities just to hurt you more. They don’t tell you you’re really a guy who got a sex change operation to turn into a girl or that you have diseases you’ve never had in your entire life. Someone who loves you wouldnt accuse you of countless ridiculous things you never have done and have about a -1000000% chance of ever doing. They don’t create these huge intricate insane plots out of nowhere on how everyone in the entire world is against them and somehow incorporate you into the story (so they can make it okay in their mind to abuse you) when you’ve done nothing to them, never been against them a second of your life and love them more than anything. Constantly defending yourself against untrue and ridiculous accusations every day is fucking exhausting, especially when the person who “loves” you is completely committed to believing the accusations no matter how much evidence or proof there is against them. The fact that he would even think to accuse me of those things shows that he does not know the kind of person I am at all, which really hurt me because he should have known me better than anybody. Anyway… someone who loves you doesn’t tell you you’re a loser and you have an iq of 20 and they’re embarrassed to be seen with you in public… They don’t spit on you, flick their cigarette ashes on you, throw their burning cigarette butts and other objects at you. They don’t threaten to kill you or beat you up. They don’t break or threaten to break your stuff. They don’t threaten to call the cops on you even when they’re doing the exact same shit you are, they don’t blame their fucked up behaviors on you. They don’t destroy every shred of self worth you ever thought you had. They don’t lie to you pathologically. They don’t disrespect and ignore your boundaries, wishes and feelings. They sure as fuck don’t trade their wife’s WEDDING RING to a dope dealer for a 30 sack on VALENTINE’S DAY. Tina was his love before I ever was. Do you want me to keep going? Cause I could write a fucking novel of the horrible things hes said and done to me but then we’d be here all day. You have no idea what this man put me through. Mental abuse and hell and lying beyond your comprehension. I clung to his lies long after I actually stopped believing in them because I was so worn down and miserable that i hoped one day he would just decide not to be evil anymore and be the person he was when i first met him. I wanted so badly to kill myself and he was cheering me on. Telling me (because i was a cutter) that i wasnt doing it right and he would show me the right way to do it. You have no idea how it feels to have someone you love subject you to that. I am going to need fucking THERAPY to get over his abuse. I had to get the fuck away from the abuse or I would’ve fucking offed myself, no questions asked. I took as much of it as I could for his sake, but a person can only be pushed so much. Then I blocked him on everything which means I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO HIM. I WANT AND NEED SPACE FROM MY ABUSER. But of course he doesnt respect my wishes and boundaries and has a huge army of people measaging me on his behalf even after I told him millions of times to leave me alone and give me space and stop suffocating me. He has a new person every damn day. Hes good at charming and manipulating. They’re all likely brainwashed and manipulated with more of his lies. I know how he really is; i am married to him. So please kindly all of you stop getting involved in my business. I am not upset or angry with you but i have had it up to fucking here with people knowing only one side of the story and telling me to go back to the person who abused me. Do you guys know how fucked up that is? I wouldn’t ever tell anyone to go back to their abuser. Leaving him was vital self care that i need for my sanity and my life. Not only am I getting away from the abuse, I am now clean and sober, which I wanted all along and which it was absolutely impossible to do around him. It broke my heart because i love the person i first met and fell in love with, if he even truly existed (even after all he put me through) but I had to do it because his abuse was just too horrific for me to stand. I dont need or want people who know neither of us getting involed in this. This isn’t just to you but to all of his people messaging me: PLEASE STOP!!!!!!!

[speakmindfully]

I am annoyed, with myself, and the universe. I think I’m a bit of a jealous person, and I’ve been trying to find the root of it for a good part of the day. I read that jealously is the root of insecurities in yourself, but I just don’t seem to resonate with that. I’m confused and I want to understand my own emotions so I can keep them from consuming me. I don’t know if I say I’m not insecure but secretly am, or if I’m not insecure and it’s something else. I feel like I am confortable in who I am: what my goals are, what I stand for, what things I like, what things I need from others, etc. I feel secure in that, and I also know my worth. I know I bring a lot t the table relationship wise and friend wise. The only insecurity I have is with my career and academic ability. Yet my jealousy is a romantic jealousy. I think the jealousy comes from not feeling appreciated, or seen for the greatness that I am. From feeling like I’m just a cog in the machine that is his life when I should be way more. I don’t blend in with the rest of the nonchalant things in your life. I deserve to be sought out for things not me seeking you out every single time. Not that my person is appreciating or doting on anyone else or anything like that, but is it simply a lack of what I’m getting that is enough to make me feel jealousy? What am I jealous of? My person doesn’t give attention to or is around other girls so I don’t ever worry about his faithfulness yet when he’s MIA for a bit or goes on a boys trip with friends or is out late I get sort of jealous. I know there’s nothing to be jealous of because he’s not doing anything wrong but is it a general person jealous that’s being masked as romantic/sexual jealousy simply because we’re dating? I feel crazy because I can’t pinpoint what it is that gets me feeling so annoyed. There’s nothing to question or worry about yet whenever I feel annoyed I want an immediate answer. Like today, I called earlier and he was driving and asked if he could call me back later and I said sure. That was like 3 hours ago and my roommate is on her way home from school and the timeline would fit if he might be driving them home which is why it’s been so long since he said he’d call back. My roommate is one of my best friends and has a boyfriend who none of us really like anymore since he did her dirty & my person especially is annoyed with her for acting dumb.

Point is, I’ve never once felt weird about them being close or friends and there’s absolutely no threat to them hanging out especially since we all live in the same hometown, yet the fact that I’m not sure if they’re driving home somehow annoys me. That if he was why wouldn’t he just be like I’m going home to nova and taking Cindy too? Idk I feel like I’m being psycho but like WHY does that bug me? Why does it have me constantly checking my phone to see if he’s gonna call back or text? He was literally just doing work at home yet when I had an incling that the timelines and situations matched up I stay assuming. It’s so annoying and stupid but I can’t seem to make it stop. Where is this coming from? Am I just a control freak who wants to know everything all the time? Am I super jealous? I’m trying to find within myself what is causing this so I can get the hell over it because it’s annoying as anything. I’m better than this and it’s frustrating to think I can feel these things without reason. I understand how irrational it sounds, I understand that it seems crazy, but I don’t know how to push the feeling out of my head yknow? Step one is to feel, step two is to acknowledge if it’s rational or not and step three is to act on it or push it out of your mind. I’m stuck between two and three. I recognize it’s not always founded, and I end up making mountains out of mole hills, but I can’t push the feelings out. I also noticed that when I DID assume something that wasn’t true, I usually have a mound of other similar things I didn’t act on that this misheard or misjudged incident ends up being the straw that broke the camels back and a bunch of emotions just flare up over something that wasn’t true so I look crazy. Yet sometimes there’s a valid concern that just doesn’t happen to apply to the incident im causing a scene over. Does any of that make sense? I feel a bit on the crazier end of the spectrum and I just want to learn how to control it before I end up getting out of hand I guess. Trynna keep a more level head on my shoulders and not be so explosive.

[wafflesandsyrup]

About Me~

“tagged” by @vontacompton.

My Last:

1: Drink: Water, but maybe wine by the time this post is through. 2: Phone Call: @catneepx, an angel. 3: Text Message: Mom! 4: Song You Listened To: “Doesn’t Remind Me” by Audioslave 5: Time You Cried: Like five minutes ago. Not even an exaggeration, I cry over everything, and it’s triggered by every emotion. This time it was because I watched The Iron Giant for the millionth time.

Have You Ever:

9: Lost Someone Special: Yeah boi 10: Been Depressed: Yeahhhhhh boiiiiii 11: Gotten Drunk And Thrown Up: Once! I can’t even think of drinking a gin and tonic anymore. But I took it like a champ. It was super funny then and now, lmao. 12: Three Favorite Colors: Red, Blue, and Gray/Black tbh

In The Last Year Have You:

13: Made New Friends: Yes! More before I moved, but I have made a handful of friends recently. 14: Fallen Out Of Love: Nope! 15: Laughed Until You Cried: Absolutely. 16: Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: lol yeah 17: Met Someone Who Changed You: I don’t think so! I’m usually who changes myself. I don’t think I have ever changed because of someone else. 18: Found Out Who Your Friends Are: For sure. I don’t tolerate disrespect or pettiness lmao 19: Kissed Someone On Your Facebook list: My husband, so yes! 20: How Many Of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know In Real Life: All of them, even if I knew them briefly. 21: Do You Have Any Pets: I have a dog! Back in MO, I have another dog and a cat, who I miss a shit ton. 22: Do You Want To Change Your Name: No, though it was hard to let go of my last name when I got married. I’ll always hyphenate it on unofficial documents lmfao. My new one is pretty unusual, though. 23: What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: I made a booze cake and drank at home, since Brendan won’t be 21 until October and I had no other friends in WA lol. 24: What Time Did You wake Up: 9:30 25: What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night: Playing Skyrim 26: Name Something You Can’t wait For: I can’t wait to visit home in July, for the short term, and I can’t wait to achieve my goal of being a forensic nurse. 27: When Was The Last Time You saw Your Mom: November. I miss her so much. I am her number one fan. I’ll talk about my mom to everyone, she’s so smart, funny and pretty! 28: What Are You Listening To Right Now: Chopin’s “Ballade No.1 in G minor, Op.23″-- I’m planning on learning this on the piano soon, and I grew especially attached to it after watching Your Lie in April tbh.  29: Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom: Actually, no. 

General:

30: Something That Is Getting On Your Nerves: Boredom tbh, but that’s nothing new. My inability to relax, too! I just want restful sleep god dammit. 31: Most Visited Website: YouTube probs 32: Hair Color: Dirty blonde?? Light brown maybe?? some copper is in there too?????????? Idk anymore. 33: Long Or Short Hair: Short right now, though I want to have medium-length hair for a while before having long hair again.  34: Do You Have A Crush On Someone: I’m married, so I obviously do lmfao. 35: What Do You Like About Yourself: I like my personality-- I like making people laugh and how I look on the bright side of life (since I used to be a real big whiny pussybitch). 36: Piercings: Ears 37: Blood Type: Ok i’m gonna be fr I have no idea what my blood type is so if i need blood immediately i’m fucked 38: Nickname: Syrup! 39: Relationship Status: Married to my fav human. 40: Zodiac Sign: Capricorn 41: Pronouns: She/her 42: Favorite TV Show: the X-Files, though I also like Parks and Rec. 44: Right Or Left Handed: Right 45: Surgery: I got my tonsils removed as a kid (super shit) and my wisdom teeth removed (also suuuuuper shit). Once I am done losing weight, I’m going to have a breast reduction because this shit is out of control. 46: Sport: Softball/baseball 47: Vacation: I would like to visit Europe (particularly Ireland, England, Germany, and Italy) and Japan, China, and Korea. In the US I would like to visit each state at some point. 48: Pair of trainers/Sneakers or Tennis Shoes: I call them tennis shoes, and I have a nice black pair of running shoes which are super comfy.

More General:

49: Eating: an apple lol 50: Drinking: wine 51: I’m About To: fold laundry and play more Skyrim, probably, maybe, hopefully. 52: Waiting For: Death to Take Its Inevitable Toll on my Flesh Prison 53: Want: hugs, friends, to be able to eat like a fat piece of shit w/o being a fat piece of shit lmfao help 54: Get Married: check 55: Career: I want to be a forensic nurse. I love working with the human body, always have, and I have always been fascinated with the forensic industry. I’ve wanted to do something that makes me happy and does something to get justice for people who have been hurt, and the moment I decided upon this career path I felt like everything finally made sense. A huge weight left my shoulders, that’s for sure.

Which Is Better:

56: Hugs Or Kisses: Hugs! I love hugging. I hug everyone bc I have a lot of platonic love to give every single person. 57: Lips Or Eyes: yo’ peepers! 58: Shorter Or Taller: I’d say similar height or taller because I am incredibly short, but personality is what seals the deal for me in the end. 59: Older Or Younger: about the same age, give or take a year (since my husband is about a year younger than me), or older. I wouldn’t be able to stand someone all that much younger than me if we’re being honest here lmfao 60: Nice Arms Or Nice Stomach: Stomach?????? 61: Hook Up Or Relationship: Relationship, for the other person’s sake. I’m too much of a goof for hooking up and I’d make someone feel insecure for cracking a joke in the middle of some sort of sexual encounter. It is literally impossible for me to take sex seriously. Also, I just prefer the companionship part of relationships over the physical. 62: Troublemaker Or Hesitant: Troublemaker, but not like... a felon or anything. Just goofy, without shame, and kind of annoying. Like me. But being reasonable when appropriate is important, too.

Have You Ever:

63: Kissed A Stranger: Yeahhhhhhh, immediate regret (cigarette mouth!). 64: Drank Hard Liquor: ya 65: Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: every gd day dawg. and it’s partially because in order to find my glasses I need my glasses to see them. 66: Turned Someone Down: hoooooooo boy, yes, yes, yes. 68: Broken Someones Heart: HOOOOOOOOO boy, yes. I was always caught off guard by it, because I never see someone as potential relationship material, but always as bff material, until they make it explicitly clear. It just wouldn’t feel right to assume they may have a thing for me. So, most of my friends in life have been guys, and I have had to deal with a lot of uncomfortable confessions and rejection from said pals. I hate hurting people, and they’re often very hurt by my rejection, and I end up losing friends over it. I don’t even like thinking about it lol. 69: Had Your Heart Broken: Yup! Abusively and tragically. Some Carrie shit, haha. It doesn’t impact me now, except for making me angry. 70: Been Arrested: I’m a straight edge dude. 71: Cried When Someone Died: Duh 72: Fallen For A Friend: I can’t fall for someone unless we are friends, so yes! Brendan was my BFF for a while until he told my oblivious ass he wanted to date me.

Do You Believe In:

73: Yourself: Yes! The only person you can always depend upon, no matter what, is yourself. 74: Miracles: hmmmm, maybe. I’ll say yes, but my skeptical mind will always question. 75: Love At First Sight: Attraction at first sight, maybe. I believe in friendship at first sight, if we’re being honest. I see someone and just get this feeling that we could be awesome friends. Love is something much more deep rooted for me. 76: Santa Claus: I believe in My Dad 78: Angels: I’m not sure. I’m open to the possibility, due to the limitations set by existing as a human, but I’m not Christian or anything. I feel like there’s “something” out there, but I’m just a dumb human and will likely never be able to know for sure. I think human beings can be deemed angels.

Other:

79: Current Best Friend’s Name: Casi/Stephanie (I love them both so much my dudes). 80: Eye Color: Green/Hazel (more green than hazel tho-- it’s really cool because i have a fleck of gold in one of my irises, and my grandma has the same fleck of gold) 81: Favorite Movie: I couldn’t narrow it down to one. I love the LOTR movies, The Sixth Sense, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Spirited Away, Saving Private Ryan...... the list goes on forever. My family has always been a big movie family.

im not tagging anyone lol

#long post #tagged

[jeanmoreaux]

Hello, do you mind give me an advice? Because i sometimes feel i have to fit certain aesthetic to be noticed by other tumblrs. Also idc about follower count, but when i see people being close to their goals and reaching it in like a few days i feel insecure since i can reach it after months. I want to enjoy tumblr and make content, but this weird feeling of not being popular enough destroys my creativity so idk how should i see it? Because i wanna be true to myself, but in the same way idk.

This turned out longer than i originally planned :,,) well, if you care about my tumblr experience or my opinions on follower counts, notes and tumblr popularity/fame feel free to click the keep reading thingy:D

Hi there, honey! Tbh, i have been think about this ask a great deal since i saw it in my inbox, because i am quite sure you’re not the only one struggling with this.

So many blogger focus a lot of their attention on their follower count. in general, the attitude high follower count = high quality/good blog is widely spread on this website. This is, in my opinion, an absolutely foolish mindset. Followers don’t say anything about a blog! Same with edits; many notes does not equal good post… many users pay too much attention to these numbers and that’s why they start to feel bad when their blog/edit doesn’t take of right away. It’s sad tbh, because it discourages so many who have wonderful blogs!!! ((LIKE YOU!!! I LOVE YOUR BLOG♡)) I won’t exclude myself from his phenomenon… I found myself in a quite similar situation a few months ago. I felt like i had to fit a certain image and continuously gain a huge amount of followers and have lots of notes on my posts. When my follower count stagnated i felt like I was doing something wrong. I was frustrated to see my blog “dying”! as a consequence, i barely spend time on tumblr anymore, i stopped editing regularly and i fell into inactivity in general. why bother with tumblr when no one cares anyways, right? WRONG! i realised (through several cute (anon) messages among other things) that the people who decided to hit the follow button did care, and i cared about them. There were people who said that i made them smile with a comment, that i made their day with an edit, that they enjoyed my presence on my dash, and somehow these messages motivated me. I remembered why i even logged into tumblr in the first place; i wanted to fangirl and share my love for certain fictional and non-fictional people. apparently, so did my pool of followers! i didn’t sign up for some kind of tumblr fame.Quite honestly, most “tumblr fame” is a matter of luck and “connections” to other popular bloggers and not really one of talent. (kind of a disclaimer: i don’t want to overgeneralize. there are definitely certain extremely talented and lovely people who deserve all the attention and “tumblr fame” they get, but there are also enough mediocre people who just were luck to post the right thing at the right time or to be friends with the right people. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that! it’s just that others would deserve more attention. I see so many skilled, talented, rather small bloggers being ignored while others are hyped for no apparent reason at all.) I think this definitely feeds into many people’s discouragement as well. so basically, what i am saying is that followers and notes are not something you have any control over. sure, you can influence it (by putting healthy (not obsessive) effort into your blog/edits), but lots of it is just pure luck.when thinking about how i want to continue on here, even contemplating to delete my blog, i came to the shocking conclusion that i did not run this blog for my own entertainment anymore but for others. I wanted to be accepted and liked. I posted edits of things i didn’t really care about, just for the notes. I tried to please everyone else and totally forgot to please myself first. I cared more about followers and notes than i ever intended to when i started this blog. my self-worth highly depended on these numbers… tumblr felt more like a profession than a hobby. my brain was like tumblr blog isn’t on a peak = you’re shit (i knew this was totally unhealthy and irrational and i knew that i couldn’t continue going on like this, not without risking my mental well-being. things needed to change…)so i tried to shove my negative and self-conscious mindset out of my head and focus on the things i could influence: the way i treated people on here and the content i posted. I tried to meet every user with respect and understanding, no matter the situation. I started to edit and post for my on pleasure and not to please others. i gave up on keeping up a consistent aesthetic. and tbh, i felt way better when i started putting myself first! I felt like i was doing tumblr for my own pleasure again. logging into tumblr became more of self-care again rather than some twisted self-destruction. I started to care less about followers. i realized i rather have a smaller amount of devoted followers that dribble in slowly than putting all my energy into gaining 20′000+ followers who don’t care for anything i actually like and only follow me bc i am some sort of “popular blog”. ((side note: popularity on tumblr is super overrated, especially in fandoms. so many of these big blogger feel like they can treat their followers however they like. all the nasty things i have seen………))However, this does not mean i am totally immune to the states and figures of my blog now! even though i care less about followers i still care a shit tone too much about notes (i am working on it tho, i am trying XD)

so my advice to you is: keep true to yourself! don’t feel pressured to be aesthetic or popular. don’t make tumblr a “profession”, make sure it always stays fun. don’t do things just bc they’re popular. don’t let this website control your mood. don’t make followers and notes your main priority bc in the end they mean nothing if they make you feel bad. In the end, it only matter how you feel about your blog and your content. and most importantly:

DON’T RISK YOUR MENTAL HEALTH OR HAPPINESS FOR SOME NUMBERS ON A SCREEN!

#rip this is so focused on me i am sorry #i hope you can take something away from my experience #also: #coherence? what is coherence??? #this is probably full of errors #i am so tired uni is kicking my ass #i put so much time into this ask #idk maybe read it? so it wasn't for nothing XD #or don't #it was freeing to finally get these thoughts out of my head and onto my dash #julianlavelle #answer #faq #mish rambles #bc i sure as hell do