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#also i am extremely sorry if i missed anything
chloeseyeliner · 9 months
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(tw: religious trauma discussion)
i am going to open up a bit here, because anonymity gives you a ridiculous amount of confidence sometimes, one that my anxiety personally always regrets. anyway.
i was once again thinking about how many, maybe mainly and especially queer, people i read the posts of every day or people i have met in my life have religious trauma, in one way or another, to different extents. like i think i do. it's kind of ridiculous at this point.
i mean, on the one hand, it's good (however good this whole daily experience can be, anyway) to know you're not alone. to know that there are people out there in this world who have been through a similar or an even worse (although we should never ever compare traumatic experiences) thing and have come out of it, have... survived, have learnt how to live with it, etc.
however, it's not good. it's not okay to realise that somewhere, there is a ten-year-old child who is frightened to think "sinfully" because god is able to hear everything they think of and, as a result, they regulate their mindset according to an internalised law enacted by the priest whose speech they listen to carefully (because it's a sin not to) every time. it's not okay to realise a heavy gray cloud of guilt covers this same kid's mind whenever they don't "meet their religion's standards", whenever they curse, whenever they laugh because they are having a good time even though some saint died that day, whenever they don't "pray enough" during the day, whenever they don't "visit the mosque/synagogue/temple/church/etc. etc. enough", whenever they slightly doubt the so-called holy texts or their religious officials' words-especially these ones- because they don't really think it's nice to have less rights than a cishet white man etc. etc., whenever they walk or speak or eat or even breathe the "wrong way". and it becomes unbearable as this kid grows up.
it stays unbearable, even when they are an adult, because what will the others say? the others have created this religious, "right" version of me inside their minds and they will be disappointed. what if i am the one who's wrong? do i have to pray for that? to whom do i pray? do i believe in them still? do i? are they even real? and, if they are, do they hate me? was everyone who spoke about these... sinners speaking of me?
it's funny- not in that way, but i think you know what i mean- it's funny, because all these people who utter these words that make you feel like shit and think of the above, they are not "behaving accordingly" (whatever that means in any religion) in the first place. speaking from a queer, ex-orthodox christian's, still making an effort to get rid of all these racing thoughts, still growing into an adult surrounded by a religious environment (almost everything in this country is about church and christianity, believe me) perspective, it's all so sad and so infuriating. because, you know what? i believe jesus was a good guy. chill. never bothered or harassed anyone. maybe. just vibing. why do you bother me then?
this is becoming a very weird vent, so i'm going to stop here.
just, if this post ever reaches anyone, remember that you are not alone. you are loved. you are a fighter! you are doing great, i promise you! as for the other part, remember to be kind to other people. we don't have to believe in a god or many gods etc. and have to be kind in order to do that.
<3
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 9 months
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Aw! XL cooking reminded me of when I was working with children and they'd get nightmares/scared of monsters, so was go to the garden and make Monster Soup! Anything that looked good would go into the nearest source of water (often a bird bath) so that the monsters would know we are kind people and stay outside and not come inside. Also the monsters would think of us as friends and protect us instead of scaring us. Now I'm hoping that I have turned any of these kids into bad cooks bc I was like that flower looks good! Toss it in! 😅😄😄😄
Thank you for reminding me of this memory!
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I'm-In-Love-With-The-Monster Soup.
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dreamerlynx · 7 months
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#sigh. puts up the barricades please I do not want to see d.nf on my dash#and again I do have it super filtered#I’m just soooo tired every little thing being HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH until the next thing bc of course that didn’t happen#and life went on as usual#look I get it I’m the minority I’m aroace and easily exhausted by shipping esp real ppl shipping#but it’s times like this I miss the lore fandom bc man the complete focus on platonic dynamics and relationships was so nice#look if they ever actually say they’re dating I guess I’ll eat my words but so far I am not getting the sense that that will ever happen#and so it is extremely annoying to want to follow drm fans and get 90% of One Single Ship#and no sap except as third wheel for said ship#sorry I’m the only one who seems to not care abt George 😭😭 not in a bad way just. he’s fine and funny sometimes I guess but#I Just Don’t Care. and also another thing I need to get off my chest#why do ppl act like George is really shady and passive aggressive and ‘oh he should interact w X person who wronged drm he’d ROAST THEM!’#like huh#George is one of the most Don’t talk about anything be vague be private ppl ever#I’m not saying he hasn’t had his moments of public support for drm but I just don’t get it#(it’s probably because he’s so vague and noncommittal that fans can just project their own feelings onto him)#sigh anyway I’m done that makes me feel better a bit#no tags just venting#<- it’s funny that became my venting tag now that I only vent in tags#bc some things such as this I am afraid to even put under read more lol
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seapasture · 2 years
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luvf4ngz · 1 month
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Til Death Do We Part Brings Us Together
grim reaper! jason todd
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Description: Your constant close calls with death first captures the attention of the Grim Reaper, then his heart, and lastly, his devotions.
Contents: Female Reader, Mentions Of Death/Dying, References to Greek Mythology, Possessiveness, You Watch Pretty Woman and Read Pride & Prejudice Together Bc Yeah, Mentions Of Isolation But It’s Okay I Promise, Jason Is Lowkey Lonely And Desperate, Reader Has A Death Wish? Maybe?, Praise Kink, SO MUCH PRAISE, Unprotected Sex, Religious Symbolisms, Sacrilege?, Nipple Play, Jason Calls You Princess, Obviously???, Vaginal Fingering, Oral Sex, (Female Receiving), He’s So In Love, Jason Todd Is Touch Starved, Devotion, Jason Is A Munch, Overstimulation, Vaginal Sex, Yes Greek Gods Wear Boxers, Enthusiastic Consent, “Will it fit?” I’m Sorry Okay, Size Kink, Jason Todd Has A Big Dick, Gentle Dom Jason Todd, Intimate Sex, Slow Sex, Soft Sex, Aftercare, Cuddling
Word Count: 6081
Author’s Note: Jason is loosely based off of Thanatos from Greek Mythology/Hades (the game). It was kind of hard infusing his personality with the literal personification of Death, but I hope I did a good job! Also some details are completely made up or changed for the purpose of the fics, like how dying works in Greek Mythos. Please don’t come for me, I’m just trying to be horny on the internet. Without furthermore, please enjoy :)
Actually one more thing I have a Thanatos/Death playlist and I adore it to bits, please listen if you want.
Thank you @toruslvt for beta-reading!
He’ll do anything for his most devout follower, he’ll worship you twice as much as you ever could him. 
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"Yet another brush with death." You heard a husky voice beside you, making you turn your head to look at the figure sheepishly. 
Whether you’re extremely unlucky or just unfathomably reckless, he’s not sure. All he knows is that your soul has been on the edge of being his over and over again - whether it was narrowly missing a car or falling into a river or even just choking on a bone. You always seem to make it out of those situations just fine, which has thoroughly caught his attention. 
 "You should really be more careful, you know." He looked at you and sighed. 
“I am! Or at least I try to be...” You murmur timidly, scratching the back of your neck. “It’s uh, it’s nice to see you again.” You give him a small smile, turning your body to face him. 
As always, he’s in his dark cloak, the hood lifted to conceal some of his hair, casting a shadow over his face. The gold accents adorning his body glint due to the faint sunlight casting through your kitchen window, the same sunlight making his tan skin glow, making him look otherworldly - which he was. 
He raised his eyebrow, “Is it now? Most people are terrified to see me.” He muttered, smirking a bit,
“I guess I’m used to you now.” Your grin gets a bit larger, warmer. “You don’t have your scythe.” You point out.
He lets out a slight chuckle at your observation, “Such a keen eye. I figured I wouldn’t need it, and I was right. What was it this time?”
Your face heats with embarrassment at the question. “I slipped.” You confess, pointing to the puddle of water on the ground. “Almost cracked my head open, I guess. But! I turned my body in time, so I’m fine.”
“Yes, that would explain your wet clothes.” His eyes trail down your body, catching slightly where your nipples peek out against the damp fabric, before looking back up to your face.
He clears his throat, “Haven’t you learned your lesson by now? It’s not even lunch time yet and you were on the brink of death. Aren’t you afraid of dying?” He scolds you.
“I mean, not really.” 
A pause of silence.
“What? You’re joking, right? How can you be so cavalier about this?”
“I don’t know, it doesn't seem so bad. It’s a natural part of life. Should I be scared?” 
“What kind of question is that?!” He raises his voice slightly, eyebrows scrunched as he looks at you. “Of course, you should be. Dying isn’t fun. You’ll be dead, trapped in the underworld for the rest of eternity. You should be trying to preserve your life while you still have it.”
“I am, though. I’m not saying I don’t like being alive, I’m just saying, when it happens, it’ll happen. There’s no use being so pre-cautious and anxious all the time.”
He lets out a huff, “You are… certainly a strange one.”
“In any case, I’d like to think my soul will go to Elysium. I'm a pretty good person, so I think the afterlife won’t be too awful for me.” You continue on, carefree.
"That isn't my point, though. Even if you're guaranteed a place in Elysium, you should still be more vigilant.”
“Why should I be? My end is already predetermined, isn’t it? Don’t the fates know when my time is up?”
“Well… yes, but-”
“Wait, then how come you visit me before I actually die?” You interrupt him, a realization suddenly taking place. “Near death experiences shouldn't summon you right?”
He hesitates a bit, caught. "You’re correct… I visit you on my own accord.”
“Why?” You tilt your head cutely, an innocent and puzzled look in your eyes.
“You’ve just caught my attention, is all.” He looks away. “I like to keep track of you, the Fates are wrong sometimes, and you basically have a death wish so I just… I like to make sure you’re okay.”
You smile slightly at his words, “You don’t want me to die?”
“Of course, I don’t. I like- I like to watch you. You’re interesting to me.” He chooses his words carefully.
“I am?” Your eyes brighten a bit at his words.
He turns back to you and nods, his hood shifting a bit with his movement, revealing a bit more of his hair. The white streak catches your attention. 
“I have to confess it’s… cute the amount of trouble you manage to get yourself into. It’s entertaining to see what you get up to, how you treat others, what you desire out of life.” His eyes move to look into yours. “Your mentality is quite unique, as well. You see dying as natural and not something to be feared, but I think you've accepted it to an… abnormal degree." He paused. "...You're the first person in a very long time to not express fear of me.”
“Why would anyone be afraid? You're only doing your job... and you're quite nice." 
He laughs, the deep rumble of his voice goes straight to your knees. "I think you're the first person to ever call the God of Death ‘nice’. You wouldn't believe the amount of people that fear me, even before their time is up. It's... exhausting, really. I can always hear their prayers, their cries, their pleads.”
"I mean I can’t blame them, I just can't share the same sentiment, especially with all the conversations that we've had."
He smiles at you, “You really are like a breath of fresh air. It’s nice to know that someone doesn’t hate me.” He pauses again, a soft look in his eyes. “But you should still be careful. You're not made of rubber after all. Don’t let me take you earlier than I should.”
“That doesn’t sound too bad, though.”
“What?” In such a short time, you’ve shocked him again.
“I wouldn’t mind dying knowing that you'll be the one waiting for me.” You say it so casually, continuing to smile at him, as if it wasn’t the sweetest thing anyone’s ever uttered to him. His heart beats a little faster as he stares down at you, stupefied. 
“You can’t mean that.” He replies after a while. 
“Why wouldn’t I?”
He’s speechless, dumb-founded. How could he possibly begin to explain that the idea of anyone liking him enough to allow him to take them from this world so happily was absurd?
“What?” You ask, noticing his sudden silence. “Why’s that so strange? I like talking to you, and when I’m in the afterlife you would keep me company, right?”
He lets out a breath and smiles a bit, the whites of his teeth peeking out behind the pink of his lips. “I’d be lying if I said that didn’t sound appealing.”
“Good.” You smile a little wider, your eyes crinkling as it makes his heart begin to race now. 
“I-I should get going, there’s uh- souls I need to get to.” He stutters out.
“Yeah, that sounds important. I should clean up with water. I’ll see you around uh… Mister Grim Reaper, sir.”
He lets out an amused huff. “Jason. Just call me Jason.”
“Will do.” You jokingly salute him, and it makes him let out another chortle. 
“Alright, farewell then.” He nods, before blinking out of your kitchen. 
You stare at the space he used to occupy for a bit, still smiling softly, before leaving to get a mop - and maybe a change of clothes.
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“Are you sure it’s okay for you to be here?” You ask him, raising an eyebrow as you stare at him from the couch. 
“Yes.” He replies simply, his eyes and attention focus on the movie playing on your TV.
His visits have been more and more frequent lately, ever since the conversation the both of you shared in your kitchen. Now, Death, who prefers the name Jason, shows up even if you didn’t go through another life-threatening event. 
And right in this moment, Jason is standing in front of your couch, entirely enraptured by Pretty Woman, of all things. 
“Don’t you have to do your duty? I’m sure there’s a lot of lost, wandering souls right now.” You try again, concerned. 
“What? You don’t want me here?”
“I didn’t say that!” You put your hands up in defense. “I just don’t want you to get in trouble or something. Won’t Hades or the Fates or… whoever your superior is get angry?”
“Probably.” He shrugs. “But what are they going to do? Kill me?” He casts you a glance from the corner of his eyes, before going back to the movie. “Besides, souls can’t leave the mortal body without me being there. They’ll just rest for a bit, I can always come get them after.”
“I guess that’s fine then.” You sigh out. “Could you at least sit down?” 
Jason lets out a nod, before moving to the couch, taking a seat beside you but still keeping his distance. 
He watches the rest of the movie in silence beside you, enjoying your company. His eyes flick over to admire you a few times, taking in your immersed gaze and noticing the way you’re clutching a plushie so close to you (cute). When you sniffle, when a few tears trail down your face, when your parted lips form a pout at the ending, his heart pumps hard in his chest. 
This was a much better use of his time. 
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“You have so many books.” Jason states, his figure crouched so that he could properly read all the titles. His hood is off, fully revealing his soft, dark hair - the white streak a beautiful contrast. 
“Who’s the observant one, now?” You chuckle from your place on the bed, eyes not leaving the novel in your hands. 
He rolls his eyes, “What are you reading?”
“Pride and Prejudice.” You hum softly, eyes still scanning the page. 
“What’s that about?” Jason asks, walking away from the bookshelf and towards you. 
“Uh, it’s a little complicated.” You murmur, “But basically it’s two people learning to get over their, well, pride and prejudices to fall in love.” 
He lets out a hum, “Read it to me?” 
“Oh my Gods, you’re so lucky, I just got to the best part.” Your eyes watch him as he lays down beside you on your bed, the fabric of his black cloak pooling around his body. 
“Elizabeth was surprised, but said not a word. After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner, and thus began: ‘In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.’ Elizabeth’s astonishment was beyond expression.” 
Jason turned to his side in order to get a better view of you. He watches how your eyes practically light up as you read, a smile gracing your face. He can’t help but think how pretty you look like this. 
“She stared, coloured, doubted, and was silent. This he considered sufficient encouragement; and the avowal of all that he felt, and had long felt for her, immediately followed. UGH, it’s so romantic!” You yell out, clutching the book to your chest and rolling back and forth slightly, making him let out a chuckle at your antics. “I mean at this point in the book I still hate Darcy but Gods, the way it’s written is just so good!” 
He falls silent for a bit, his gaze affectionate as he watches you. “Hey, can I ask you something?”
You stop your giddy reactions, looking at him curiously. “Yeah, what is it?”
“Do you remember when you said you wanted to be with me in the afterlife?”
“Hm? Yeah, why?”
He took a deep breath. "Let's say... let's just pretend for a moment, that when you die... I don't guide you to the afterlife. Instead, I take you somewhere else with me."
You sit up slightly, pushing yourself up on your arms, turning your body to face him. “Where would we go?” You set your book aside on the nightstand. 
“To… my home. I have a residence on the outskirts of Tartarus. You would be safe there, I can make sure that nothing would bother you.” He sits up fully, grabbing and holding your hands gently. “Please, I want you to stay with me. I get so lonely, and I just- I like being around you.” His tone is soft, pleading and sincere as he confesses his desires to you.
You smile back at him, eyes crinkling softly in that way that he’s come to adore. “I’d like that.”
“Really?” He gasps out, face mirroring yours as a bright smile overtakes his features.
“Mhm,” You hum, “It’ll take some time, though.”
He shakes his head, hands gripping yours a bit tighter, “I would wait the entire rest of eternity for you, if I had to.”
“Well, I’ll be sure to not make you wait that long.” You giggle out.
“I’d hope not. I want to have you with me, I want to keep you around until the end of time itself.” 
“I think that’s the most romantic thing anyones ever said to me, Jay.” Your tone is light, teasing. 
“There’s a catch though,” He pauses, hesitant to see your reactions. “You won’t be able to leave the house or see anyone else. I can’t risk you getting found. B-but I get you anything you need, I can make you happy.”
“That sounds just fine to me.” 
His eyes glisten in happiness, a bright shine in them. “Then... it's settled. I will take you to my home, and you will stay with me… forever.” His glances down to your lips for a second, before quickly looking back into your eyes. 
You notice the movement, heart beating a bit faster.
“Could I kiss you?” He whispers, his voice low and warm. 
“Yeah,” You mumble back.
He leans in closer, hands releasing yours as one places itself on the small of your back, pulling you closer to his body as the other gently grips your chin. He leans down, tilting your head up until he feels the soft press of his lips to yours. Warmth floods his body as he feels electricity in the air, and he feels his heart pound behind his ribcage when your own arms wrap around his neck.
Your touch, your taste, was addicting. You were tender and sweet, and Jason never wanted this moment to end. He groans when he feels your hand begin to play with his hair, and he presses himself closer to you, both hands moving to grip your waist. 
His grip tightened on you as your kiss intensified, his body started to tremble as it filled with a desire so deep that it was all-consuming. 
Eventually you break apart from him, needing air. He dismays at having to pull away, but allows you to do so.
"If that's what's waiting for me at the end of my life, maybe I do want to die sooner…” You joke, breathless.
He groans again, “Don’t… don’t say that. Don’t tempt me, I can’t take it.” He presses his forehead to yours, both of your breaths mingling together.
You giggle, pulling him in by the back of his neck to kiss him again. He relents easily, his heart skipping when you hum softly against his lips, the desire in his body igniting higher and higher. 
Eventually, he’s the one to pull away, his breath tickling you as he trails his nose against your neck. He can feel the soft tremor in your breath as your body shivers against his. “Can we go further?” He murmurs into the skin.
“Yeah, I want more.” You nod.
“Good, I do too. I want all of you.” He begins to press his lips to your neck, lightly leaving kisses and bites that you have squirming and gasping. 
“You have me.”
“You don’t understand.” He shakes his head. “You... you don't know how much I've been longing for you. Your presence alone gives me joy. Having you touch me… it makes my heart pound and my body melt. The way you talk, the sounds you make... it’s perfect. I want to touch you. I want to hold you. I want to know everything about you. I want all of you.”
“You can have that too…” You sighed out. 
“You drive me crazy.” He groans, leaning close again to kiss you deeply, caressing the sides of your body. He wasn't holding back anymore. He couldn't. He wanted you so much that it ached in his bones. His hands started sliding slowly but surely, caressing your back and waist. He couldn't get enough of you, and your body’s twitching and the sound of your heavy breaths was such a thrilling sensation that he was consumed by it entirely.
“Jason…” You pant out his name as you experimentally grind your body against his, whining when you feel his hard cock rub against your clothed cunt, your hands holding him tighter. 
The sound drove him crazy with arousal, his body wracked with longing. You felt so good and he couldn't help but lean into you more, allowing you to press against him over and over and over. The feeling of heat was flooding his entire being, his cock throbbing beneath his cloak.
He worships the feeling of you grinding against him for a few more moments, his breath coming out in husky pants before he rolls you onto your back, hovering above you. 
"Just be a good girl and let me do all the work, now." His voice is husky, needy, as he leaned down and kissed your neck again, his breath hot and his body trembling with anticipation. 
You whine again, rubbing your thighs together to relieve the sudden ache between them. Your eagerness spurs him on, he presses a peck to your cheek before sitting back on his knees to gaze down at you. 
“Gods, you’re gorgeous.” He mutters, his hand slips up your shirt a little, and he shivers at the instant warmth of your skin. “Can I take this off?”
You nod rapidly, quickly pulling off your top and tossing it aside, revealing yourself to him.
Jason responds by leaning down to litter kisses over your body, a flush on his cheeks. His lips are soft and reverent almost as they softly touch your heated skin. He takes your nipple into his mouth sucking slightly, as a hand comes up to tweak and roll the other one. 
“Jay…” You call out his name, your back arching slightly,  and he never wants to stop hearing your voice. 
“I got you, princess.”
He lowers his mouth, trailing down your body until he reaches the hem of your bottoms. “Can I take this off, too?” 
“Do anything you want, Jay.” You breathe out, head dizzy with your need.
“You sure?” He asks, fingers hooking into both your pajama pants and underwear, dragging them down your body, uncovering inch after inch of your naked body. 
You look like a dream under him, eyes blown with lust, lips parted, body bare for him as you nod. He sets your clothes aside, going back to relishing you. 
You look away softly from embarrassment, “You take off your clothes, too…”
Your shyness got to him and he could help but laugh softly. You were so cute. He took a step back and off the bed, pulling off his cloak. He could feel your eyes watching his every movement, could feel your eyes rake his form as you settled on the bed. 
His gold adornments drop to the floor with a ‘clunk’, quickly followed by his black trousers. 
“You’re so beautiful.” You softly praise. You can’t help but to stare at him, eyes lingering on every sculpted muscle or coloured scar of his frame. 
He couldn't help but feel like you were the beautiful one. The way your eyes traveled over his body made his heart beat fast. He felt like he was on top of the world, knowing you admired him.
He climbs back onto the bed, taking his place between your legs as he lays on his stomach. His hands come to grip around your thighs, pulling you closer to him. 
“Oh.” You gasp slightly at the intimate position, gulping as your blood pumps faster through your veins. 
He slides a hand down towards your cunt, already slick for him. A thumb parts your swollen lips as he gently glides it up and down, before pressing it against your sensitive bud. 
“Ah-” You moan oh so sweetly for him, hips twitching as he starts rubbing your pretty clit. Your body was so responsive to him, and it makes a grin break onto his face. 
He brings his thumb away, making you frown before replacing it with his mouth, lips wrapped around the nub. 
“W-wait!” You cry out, hands flying into his hair as you do your best to not buck into his face. He smirked around you, starting to suck despite your call. Your reaction only added fuel to the fire burning inside him, your writhing body and shaky gasps were too much for him to handle. 
“It’s okay, sweetheart, just let yourself feel good.” He mumbles into your cunt before going back to sucking and lapping at you. He holds you close to his face, his grip firm to keep you as still as he could. 
He groans as you tug at his roots, the sound vibrating around your needy clit. Your desperate moans and whispers drove him crazy. He liked how fast you were breathing, how much you were moving. You were a squirming, twitching mess underneath him as the sensation became too overwhelming.
“Jason, oh my Gods.” You gasp.
“I’m your only God, now, right? Just me…” His hand moves to your fluttering hole, slowly pressing two fingers inside you. They slip in easily with how wet you are, dripping your desire down his wrists. He feels you clamp down on them, slick walls sucking him in further.
“Jason, Jay!” His name slips from your lips like a chant, a prayer wrapped in shallow breaths. 
“Keep saying my name just like that, pretty girl.” He loves the way you make it sound, loves the way you say it. Not Grip Reaper. Not Death. Just Jason. Your Jason. 
“Oh, Jay…” You breathe out his name like you’re struggling to even think.
“You’re such a sensitive thing, aren’t you?” He coos, starting to move his fingers in and out of you. He smirks when you squeal as he curls his fingers up, pressing against that soft, vulnerable spot inside you. His arm moves to keep you down, pinning your hips to the bed as he goes back to tasting you.
“N-not there!”
“Why not? Doesn’t it feel good?”
“It’s too much!” You’re breathless, barely able to gasp out replies as he keeps abusing that spot inside you. 
“Do you want me to stop?” Jason slows his pace, fingers dragging painfully slow against your aching, slick walls, making you let out a needy mewl, clenching on him. 
“No! P-please don’t.” You pout, softly tugging at his head to turn his attention fully on you. 
“Say my name. Tell me what you want.”
You hesitate a bit, pondering your words. “Make me feel good, Jason. Make me cum.” Your tone is so soft and pleading, it’s the best worship he’s ever heard. 
The only prayers he’s ever heard were cries for his absence, beseeching his very being and purpose, but with you - he’s found a new one. You want him, you want him closer, you want him to make you feel bliss. He can do that. He’ll do anything for his most devout follower, he’ll worship you twice as much as you ever could him. 
He dives back down with a fervor, thick fingers working you quickly, the soft squelches increasing in volume and frequency. His tongue traces your clit, sucking and rolling and indulging in the way you writhe and whimper below him. 
He keeps going as you squirm uncontrollably, as your body tenses further and further, as your eyes glaze over and your heart pounds. Your nerves are frayed and begging for relief as the soft warmth of his tongue doesn’t let up. Your grip on his hair tightens, making him grunt low and husky into you. 
“Jason, m’gonna… can I please-?” You can barely make out full sentences, head fuzzy and blood searing as the dam inside you threatens to break. 
“You don’t have to ask, just do it.’ He murmurs; his cock throbs in his garments, waiting for you to release on his tongue. 
The feeling overtakes you, making you choke out a shaky cry as you climax. Your thighs squeezes his head, fingers buried deep into his dark locks as you tremble. You’re lightheaded and breathless and euphoria has settled in every inch of your veins. 
Jason removes his fingers, gripping your thigh as his mouth slots against your leaking cunt as he engulfs his tongue into your taste. He greedily laps up your slick, moaning as it blooms over his tongue - more sweet and addictive than even ambrosia. 
Your cries are so adorable as he continues to seek out every last drop of cum from you, your body pliant and weak below him as you keen and mew. 
“J-Jay…” You stutter out his name as your body twitches, sensitivity kicking in. 
“Yes, love?” He barely pauses to utter out those words, mind set on devouring you whole. 
“C-can’t!” He frowns, giving you one last lick before pulling himself away from you.
His eyes are filled with a feral like need, mouth smeared and shiny with the aftermath of your arousal. “Did that feel good?” He husks out, “You looked so divine, cumming.’
You’re panting hard under him, mind dizzy as you process his words, nodding in reply.
“I want to make you feel that way for the rest of eternity, you’ll let me right? You’ll stay with me?” Now that he’s had you, he doesn’t think he can survive on his own anymore. 
“Y-yeah, Jay.” You nod again, voice small. 
He raises himself up, licking you off his hand before he crawls over your body again. His legs slot between yours, tangling the both of you together. He leans down, sighing out in satisfaction as your damp, warm skin presses into his. 
His lips brush over yours, silently asking for permission to kiss you again. You accept him willingly, hands drifting to hang loose around his neck as you push your lips to his.
He groans, hand gripping your waist and the other running through your hair as he explores your mouth. You can taste yourself on him, spit mixing together as he groans into your lips. 
He pulls back, both your breaths lingering in the small space between your faces. He trails his nose down to the sensitive skin of your neck, teeth dragging lightly across the flesh. 
“I want all of you, so bad.” He groans. “I’ll do anything for you. Can you tell me I’m yours?”
He so desperately wants to belong to you - to know that one day you’ll accompany him in the deepest pits of Tartarus - that you’ll never let him be alone again. 
“You want to be mine?” Your tone is puzzled, words ending in a lilt. 
“Please.”
You smile, hands coming to hold his face, thumbs gently caressing his cheeks. “Who knew the God of Death would be so needy?” You tease.
“You try being alone and hated since the dawn of existence.” He sighs, melting into your touch. His eyes close, leaning into your palms. 
You giggle a bit. “We can be each other's.” Your lips break out into a grin as you bring his face down to yours, pressing pecks all over. 
He relishes your kisses, letting out a deep, happy sigh. His cock is still painfully hard, straining against his boxers, but he tries to ignore it. He opens his eyes and brushes your stray hair behind your ears, slightly damp with your sweat. 
“Jay,” You murmur his name, pulling back to look at him, “I want more.”
“More? You want me to eat you out again?” His mouth salivates at the thought of having your taste on his tongue again. He’ll do anything you ask. 
You shake your head, thumbs rubbing along his cheekbones, “I want you to fuck me, Jay.”  
“You do? Are you sure?” He whispers. 
His breath hitches as you nod, blinking up at him with those pretty eyes of yours. 
“I wanna feel you, Jay. J-just go slow, I’m still sensitive.”
“You’re sensitive?” He huffs out an amused breath, smiling softly. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you. I’ll make sure of it.”
You try to press your thighs together, getting excited by his promises and husky tone. He feels your legs shift around his, smirking as he takes in your desperate body language. 
He shifts back again, tugging his boxers down. Your eyes trail to his now exposed cock, standing proud and flushed and daunting. 
He’s…. big. 
Your jaw drops a little as you take him in, your mind reeling with thoughts of “Will it fit?”.
“Hm? Don’t worry. I said I was going to take care of you.” Jason murmurs, voice adoring. He positions himself back between your legs, hands lifting your legs to encourage them to wrap around his waist. You willingly follow his guidance. 
His hands come to hold your hips steady, hips canting forwards to rub the head of his cock through your folds. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah,” You reply softly, hands drifting to lay on top of his, gently grabbing his wrists. 
He pushes inside of you, pace steady and measured as he tries his best to let you adapt to him.
“Ohmyfuck…” You slur, words mushing together as you feel him stretch you out. You grip him a bit tighter. 
“Just relax, pretty girl.” He mutters, thumbs rubbing circles into your skin to calm you down. He continues pushing himself inside you, making you feel every ridge and detail and inch. It’s slow and deliberate; he’s savoring watching the way your cunt sucks him in, the way your head tilts back, how shallow and quick your breaths have gotten. “Can you feel it? Am I too big for you?” He teases, eyes shining with both mischief and affection. He pushes forwards again. 
Your pussy flutters around the girth of him, slick pouring out with every second, making the process that much smoother. 
You try to take deep breaths, groaning softly as you feel the way he bullies into you, nestling deep inside. 
“S’it in yet?” You hiccup.
He chuckles softly, you were just so endearing. He was taking his time, enjoying the feeling of you. “It’s not even halfway yet, baby.” He coos. 
“S-still?” Your eyes widen a bit, as he laughs again.
“Just lay down and take it, princess. I’ll do everything, don’t think about a thing.” He leans down and silences your whimpers with a kiss. His lips lock onto yours as he swallows your moans, moving his hips until he feels you flushed against him. 
He pulls back, body once more shadowing over yours. His eyes drift down to where the two of you connect. “Look at that, she took me all in. I told you that you didn’t need to fret, love.” 
“A-ah, it’s so deep…” You mumble. 
“Isn’t it?” He grins. 
He starts to move back and forth, instantly groaning at the intoxicating sensation of you wrapped warm and snug around his pulsing cock. 
He keeps his pace slow, staying true to his promise. He doesn’t mind though, he’s just relishing in every little detail of you, burning the memory of how you look, feel, and sound into his mind - a treasure for eons to come. 
You’re moaning uncontrollably, hands moving to grip at his biceps, nails digging slightly into the skin. He grunts, liking the shark twang of pain that shoots through his body. 
He can feel you clamping around him desperately, like your body needed more. You’re so wet and sloppy, he can feel your slick smearing on his thighs with every thrust. 
“Feels s’good, baby.” He groans, and immediately he feels you clench on him again. “Did you like that?” He grins. 
“Uh-huh,” You nod dumbly, eyes unfocused as whines spill from your throat. 
“My pretty girl likes it when I praise her, huh?” The next words flow from him easily, he’s venerated you so much in his mind already that the flattery comes easy. He wants you to know exactly what you make him feel. “You’re so fucking perfect for me, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted.” 
Everytime he bottoms out you can feel him in your throat.
“J-Jay…”
Your bodies blend together, waves of pleasure overtaking you both with each long stroke. You can feel every inch and vein and crevice of him pushing against your sensitive walls. 
He continues speaking. “You make me fall apart so easily, my love. I want to give you my everything. I’ll be at your disposal from now on, you can do whatever you want with my body, as long as you stay by my side.” His tone is deep, dripping with lust. “Your pretty pussy takes me so well, it’s like you were made for my cock, yeah?”
A shiver of arousal runs through your body at his speech, lower body getting hotter. You feel like you’re surrounded by lava, melting and wound tight all at once. 
“Your body is so beautiful, I don't want anyone else to touch you; I want you only for myself.” His hands lift your hips up a little, his cock pressing inside even deeper than before, making you let out a yelp. 
He’s hitting every good spot inside you, knocking the breath from your lungs even with his sensual pace. You feel constant spurts of warmth pouring out of you, and you notice just how soaked the mattress is beneath your shivering body. 
“Are you enjoying yourself, love?”
“S-so much, Jay,” You whine out, clutching him harder. 
“Good, I want to be the only one that can make you feel like this.”  
Each rock of his hips gets you higher and higher, dangling on the edge of release. The glide of him is so smooth and sweet as he drags against you.
“M’gonna cum, Jay.” You sigh out, voice high and whiny.
“Good girl, go on and soak my cock. Show me just how much you’re enjoying this.” 
A few more more moments and you’re letting go, gripping his biceps hard as elation sinks deep into your bones. A sob of his name escapes your parted lips, body tingly and twitchy as endorphins rush through your veins. He groans as he feels your slick walls convulse around him. His grip on your waist tightens momentarily as he pulls out, his cum instantly spilling onto your stomach. Relief floods his system as he pants hard, chest heaving as he catches his breath. 
The both of you bask in the afterglow of your climaxes, the soft sound of breathing drifting on the heated air. Jason thinks you look divine with your hair spread on the bed, his seed marking your skin as sweat glistens your body. You think the view of him above you, satisfaction prominent on his face, is just as sacred. 
When Jason’s body settles he gently slides out of you, smiling apologetically at your small wince. He goes to your bathroom, having memorized the layout of your house from all the times he’s visited you. He returns with a damp towel, mournfully wiping his traces off of you. He throws the rag into your laundry basket, crawling beside you in bed and pulling you into his chest.
“How ya doing, princess?” He whispers into your hair.
You give him a small, happy hum in return, scooting yourself even closer into him. 
"You're so soft," He mumbles, nuzzling into you. "This is where I want us to stay, for eternity. Nothing else, forever."
“That sounds perfect, Jay.” You reply, yawning slightly. 
Jason’s smile grows even wider, his arms tightening around you. He looks down at you with an adoring gaze, your warm and tender body slotting perfectly against his. "There is nothing, and no one in this world that I want more than you, my dearest."
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Thank you so much for reading! A comment or reblog is much appreciated. Have a great day <3
- sumi ☆ミ
ミ☆ masterlist
requested tags: @a-deadbeat-fucking-valentine @in-som-niyah
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sugarypinecones · 6 months
Note
coriolanus snow is a possessive mofo and i’d love nothing more than to be marked up to all hell by him and walk into the academy with everyone having a clear idea of who I belong too
the very first night - young!coriolanus snow x reader smut
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⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ i drive down different roads, but they all lead back to you.. ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅
warnings: smut (but not anything too serious), f!receiving oral, snow fingers reader, possessive snow, fluff, probs missing some jus lmk
a/n: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SEND ME PROMPTS I NEED PROMPTS RAHHHHH (grasping at straws) also sorry if this isnt what u imagined it as or dont like it, it is not my proudest work tbh
tags: @czarinera @long-live-the-cats @edb954 @sarahskywalker-amidala
Snow was a nice guy. At least, that’s what he wanted to people to think, so that’s who he tried to be. He never got into serious trouble, and he certainly would never do something to jeopardize whatever it was he had with you.
For the past few months, you two have been finding yourself sneaking into eachother’s beds, finding comfort in eachother throughout each of your own hard days. Snow never would’ve thought someone like you would’ve dated him, seeing as there are richer boys, people who could certainly give you a life you’ve always dreamed of and obviously deserved.
He knew you two weren’t exclusive, and he knew he couldn’t get so upset whenever he saw you talking to another guy, one who relatively served no threat, even though there’s nothing to be threatened - aside from his extremely complicated relationship with you.
His gaze falls to you and a boy across the room, the soft smile you’d always give him in the halls adorning your face as you push his shoulder, Snow’s eyebrows knitting together as he is now staring at you two, no secret about it.
You hugged the boy, Snow rolling his eyes and diverting his gaze, scared if he looked for too long he’d do something he regrets. The sound of your heels clicking across the floor make him look back, you turning down the hall, likely to go back to your house seeing as the work for the day was done and there was nothing left to do, aside from sit around and talk, which is normally what happened, but you left early today. He quickly stood up, rushing down the hall as quickly as he could without raising any suspicion, seeing as you both agreed this would stay between you.
However, everyone knew what you two were doing. Nobody ever mentioned anything, just smirked to eachother or laughed when you two return five minutes apart as if someone wouldn’t catch on sooner or later.
He finds himself following you down the short path to your house, in which you turn around hearing the extra step of footsteps, furring your brows as your eyes catch his. “Coryo?” You whisper, looking around to be sure nobody saw you. “Y/N,” He breathlessly whispers, walking closer as he grabs you by the waist, needy and quickly.
You laugh softly, looking into his eyes as he kissed you, closing your eyes as he pushes you towards your house, unable to wait any longer, “Who was he?” He whispered as he pulled apart, you opening your eyes wide as he studied your face. “Just a friend, Cor-” You were cut off by another kiss, dropping down to your neck quickly as you shut the door, reaching for the lock but unable to as he pushed you against the wall, leaving sloppy and messy kisses across your neck.
“So what am I, then?” He looked up at you, and you look down as you swallow dryly, unsure of what to say. “Uh..” You trail off, another kiss placed to your neck as you close your eyes. “What do you want to be?” You ask, Snow lifting himself to your height, “Yours.” He was serious as he stares at you, shock adorning your features. “Unless that’s too..” He was cut off by a kiss, followed by a soft smile. “You’re mine,” You clarify, Snow’s face looking everywhere on yours as if he was imagining the entire encounter.
He kissed you again, bringing his kisses in a soft trail down to your neck once again, you whining softly as you close your legs, Snow’s free hand gliding to your legs, easily prying them open with his fingers as he rubbed his hand against your clothed clit, you moaning as he kisses your collarbone now, looking up as you struggle to keep yourself upright as he continued to move his hand back and forth, grabbing at the material of your pants to pull it down every once and a while when he had a good opportunity to.
“Coryo,” You whine as he raised his lips from your collarbone, glancing at you as soft purple marks are forming slowly yet noticeably across your neck, and although he may have stopped kissing you, he surely hasn’t stopped the motion between your legs as you close your eyes shut, pointing to the couch as he smirked softly, bringing you into a kiss as he guided himself with the hand that wasn’t occupied with pleasuring you.
He laid you down on the couch, your back propped up against the couch cushions as he finally worked your pants and panties down, immediately taking the opportunity to stick his fingers in and out of your cunt, the slick noises mixing with your moans as he brung his kisses back down to your chest, feeling smirking against your skin as you raise your head up, gasping out as you’re legs subconsciously close as you’re approaching your high.
Within seconds, you’re seeing stars as he’s still pumping his fingers in and out of you, leaving a trail of soft and messy, needy kisses down to your skirt, which he lifts up to cover your stomach as he licked stripes up and down your pussy, prying your thighs open with his hands, leaving the knuckles of his hands white and the skin he’s pressing against red as he ate you out like a starved man.
The next morning, you woke up groggily as Snow rushed around your living room, straightening his hair out as he seemingly looked for a brush, you sitting up with confusion. “Oh, good, you’re up. I went to go clean you up.. and.. you kinda fell asleep,” He explained as he finally found a brush, tugging it through his hair as your eyebrows knit together again, looking to your clock, thirty minutes until the doors to the academy opened and you were expected to be in your seat.
You quickly find your pants, pulling them up your body as you slide back into your shoes, snatching the brush from his hands as you walk over to the bathroom, Snow rolling his eyes as he headed out the door, about to make sure nobody saw him, almost instinctively before he realized he didn’t have to anymore.
As you rush through the door of school, almost late as you practically slide into your seat, your table-mate raises an eyebrow as you breathlessly slide your head onto the table. “You had fun last night, didn’t you?” She teased, a few others laughing to themselves as they look at Snow, who closed his eyes slightly embarrassed as Sejanus pushes at his shoulder, laughing as you both look at eachother for a split second before looking away.
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back2bluesidex · 7 months
Text
Give Me A Taste - MYG (18+)
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Pairing: Idol!Yoongi X Fem!Reader
Theme: PWP, SMUT, established relationship au
Wordcount: 1.3k+
Summary: Yoongi is down bad for you, he has been missing your taste crazily. Thanks to unexpected turns of events and a cancelled show, he can finally satiate his hunger for you.
Warnings: Titty fucking, yes, he fucks her tits, tit play (a bit), fingering, he cums on her chest, a heated make out, Unprotected sex (don't try this at home), NSFW!!
Minors are not allowed in this blog!!
A/N: It's been a minute since I have written anything for Mr. Min. so... here it is. also, this is an apology because I won't be able to update WDBHG this week. I'm so sorry.:(
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You are trying your best to scrub off the burnt patch of your frying pan when you hear the door lock chiming its jovial sound. 
“What the –” muttering to yourself, you start peeling off the washing gloves from your hands. It’s only you and Yoongi who know the passcode of your shared home. You are inside the condo and Yoongi is out on a world tour still having three more weeks to come back home. So it’s definitely a trespasser, or worse, a burglar or a robber trying to break into your house. 
Your blood runs cold at the thought as you walk towards the door for taking a look at the doorbell screen. Your steps halt when you see your boyfriend putting off his shoes and slipping into home slippers. 
“Yoongi?” you whisper, your eyes fill with moisture at an instant. It’s been nearly three months since you last saw him, smelled his calming scent, traced his skin with your fingertips. You have been missing him crazily and a brief phone or video call a day does absolutely nothing to quench your thirst. 
“One of the shows got canceled due to extreme weather conditions, we have a week till the next one. So, we decided to rest for a bit.” Yoongi reasons in his usual calm voice, before you get to ask him. He comes to stand right in front of you as you keep on staring at him. 
“Oh. Have you-” 
“Are you just going to stare at me?” Yoongi cuts you off. His face is unreadable but his eyes are dark, which makes it hard for you to assume anything. 
“No, I-” 
You get cut off again but this time because Yoongi slams his lips onto yours, pinning you to the nearest wall. 
Your boyfriend is usually calm and collected but he becomes a beast when lust takes over his senses. 
He grabs your wrists with both of his hands, pinning those above your head as he presses his body on yours. 
He kisses you hungrily, as if trying to lavish your lips for all the times he was away from you. You kiss him back with just as much urgency. The make out session is so heated that it spreads heat all over your body, including your pussy that just started wetting your cotton panties. 
You realize Yoongi is on the same page when his semi hard bulge presses on your stomach. 
He bites down on your lower lip, pulling it with his teeth before leaving you fucked up with only kisses. 
Yoongi loves you. Oh hell! It will be underestimated to say that he just loves you. He is obsessed with you! He craves for you like a lunatic. He starves for you. 
This prolonged period of staying away from you has been taking a toll on him, that’s why he came rushing back to you as soon as he got the chance. 
He looks at you with hooded eyes, stares down at your swollen lips then at your perked nipples. Fuck! You look heavenly like this. He can’t wait to feel your warmth wrapped around his length.
“I’ve missed you,Y/N. I can barely control myself anymore.” Yoongi whispers as he latches his lips to your throat, placing soft and lingering kisses wherever he could reach. 
“You don’t need to control yourself, Yoongi. I am all yours. Do whatever you want. I am all yours.” You breathe out. Yoongi’s tight grip on your wrists arouses you by an impossible amount. 
“Yes baby. I am going to fuck you so good now. But before that.. Give me a taste? Will you?” Yoongi’s low voice sends a trail of goosebumps all over your body. You suddenly find an urge to shy away from him and his eyes which are currently boring in your chest, more precisely, your nipples.  
Yoongi finds it adorable the way you get a little shy whenever he asks for a taste of your tits. He loves your tits, he can never get enough of those and fucking your tits is one of his most favourite ways of ruining you. 
He leaves your hands and clutches at the rim of your oversized tshirt to pull it off of your body. His eyes turn even darker as soon as you are topless in front of him. 
He palms your tits for a few moments. You push your tits out to enjoy more of his touch by arching your back. Yoongi chuckles at your eagerness. 
“Guess you missed me too, darling?” he squeezes both of your tits at the same time to erect a soft contained sigh from your lips. 
“You have no idea how much.” you murmur while enjoying Yoongi’s rough hands on your soft supple flesh. 
His fingers find your nipples and he twists those to satisfy himself, “then you will let me fuck your titties today, won’t you?” 
“I will…” you voice somehow. 
Yoongi bends down and takes one of your nipples in his mouth. 
As soon as the bud is inside his mouth, he starts lapping it up with his saliva before sucking it hard. All of your breath is knocked out when he worries your nipple between his teeth, not quite biting it rather playing with it with practiced skills.  
One of your hands finds its way to his long dark hair, nails raking through his scalp, earning a moan from your boyfriend. Your other hand travels down to south, brushing through the rough material of his jeans, grabbing his bulge and rubbing it to satiate your burning need that has developed for him.  
Yoongi repeats his actions with your other nipple, arousing you more and more.  
You are far too gone with the pleasure to notice that Yoongi has smeared your chest with his saliva, seemingly preparing you tits to take his cock. 
“Should we head to the couch now?” he asks with his gentle yet low voice. You nod eagerly. 
He lifts you up effortlessly, carries you to the couch and lays you down. Swiftly removing the rest of your clothes and leaving you lying naked on the couch, he reaches for his own clothes. 
His cock springs out of his boxers, tall and proud and ready to fuck you. He smirks, feeling you eyeing him like the horny, hungry girl that you are. 
Yoongi climbs on top of you, places his knees on either side of you, and lines his cock in the middle of your tits. You squeeze your tits tightly to make a tight passage for your boyfriend’s greedy cock. 
His first thrust is a little messy, the head of his cock nudges you on your chin, painting your chin with his precum. 
The next thrusts are more stable and steady and soon you hear Yoongi groaning in pleasure. He is such a goner when it comes to your tits. You tighten your tits even more to rile him up. 
“B-Baby, ugh, Y/N! I will c-cum at this rate.” Yoongi whines. Your eyes roll back at the sensation of his cock being squeezed by your big tits. 
But you start seeing stars when you feel Yoongi’s fingers parting your folds and drawing tight circles on your clit. 
“Oh my– Yoongi” you fumble to make any coherent sentence. 
Arousal pools out of your hole and creates a mess down there.
Apparently, it’s too much for Yoongi to take in your fucked up state, your wetness on his fingers and your tits squeezing the hell out of his cock, all together. His dick starts twitching and before he could warn you, he is cumming all over your face, throat and chest. 
Your grip on your tits loosen as you bring your hand to wipe your face off. When your vision returns to you, you find Yoongi licking your juices off of his fingers while maintaining a steady eye contact with you. He definitely doesn’t look like someone who just cummed all over you. 
Repositioning himself, Yoongi lowers his head to the level of your cunt and chuckles in his breathy voice, “Next up is your pussy. Give me a taste, yeah?” 
And you know you are going to have a long day ahead.
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Taglist:
@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @sukunabitch @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @chimmisbae
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cheolhub · 1 year
Text
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LOVE SCENE — LEE SEOKMIN ࿐
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summary. you’re scared that seokmin might want to go separate ways after graduation, but he proves, in more ways than one, that he wants you. forever.
wc. 2.3k
warnings. college au. nerdy soft dom!seokmin, breeding kink xx, obscene amounts of dirty talk, pinch of angst, literal love making, unprotected sex, marriage kink, HEAVY praise, baby talk, v minimal plot im sorry — MINORS DNI 18+
note. DAMN ok i have a lot to say so i’ll keep it short. ONE this was a request but like i kinda didn’t do anything the request asked for and im so sorry, i hope u can forgive me anon. TWO i literally lost sight of the plot so dont ask me abt any missing details ehehb just enjoy seok being hot <3 THREE happy belated birthday to my minnie <3 FOUR thank u to my luvr @rkiv4d for beta-ing. yas ok enjoy
p.s. reblogs and feedback are extremely appreciated— i also love to hear ur thoughts <3
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how seokmin pulled you, the most beautiful girl to ever walk the earth, he has no clue. he’s what people call a ‘nerd’ with his thick-rimmed glasses and his abnormally high IQ and you’re the pretty girl that didn’t understand the simplicity of covalent and ionic bonds who fell head over heels for him. 
you couldn’t help it, he was so smart and so fucking pretty. he was awkward and he giggled when he got nervous and he was so unbelievably goofy that it had you laughing till you cried. nevertheless, he was the most beautiful man ever. 
then you asked him out. he remembers it like it was yesterday. the last day of your chem class– the end of the first semester of your sophomore year– right after your final. you thanked him incessantly, giving him a hug for helping you get a B in the class. you told him you’d rather thank him another way— another way being a date. with you. at your place with a homemade dinner. 
he would’ve been stupid to decline. so he didn’t. and the rest was history. seokmin became your boyfriend, grew more confident in himself, and fell in love with you.
now you’re in your final year, the last few weeks approaching quickly, and you’ve been anxious. anxious about seokmin leaving you, anxious about going separate ways after graduation, anxious that this was all just fun and games till it was time to get serious about life.
seokmin has picked up on your behavioral patterns over the past 2 years. he knows you so well, probably better than anyone else in your life– probably better than he knows himself. 
so when seokmin sees you evading his eyes with his cock stretching you open, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 
“hey,” he whispers, stilling inside of you. when you don’t turn your head and your eyes are still closed, he calls for you. “baby?”
you feel your heart clench at the pet name. “hmm?” you hum.
“baby, do you not wanna do this anymore?” he questions worriedly, ready to pull away from you. “i can pull out.”
you mumble, “i-i do.” 
he cocks his head even more confused, “talk to me, pretty, what’s going on?”
he pushes into you some more, making you gasp and you can feel his expectant eyes burning holes into your face. you then realize he’s not gonna let this go, but it’s partially your fault for letting your mind wander while he was putting away the dinner you guys ate. you decide to just come out with it.
“‘m just… so scared of graduating…” you whimper between your words, eyes screwing tighter. 
he hums, “look at me, baby.” the demand comes out so soft, yet the sheer dominance of his voice makes you clench around him. you turn your head on the pillow, opening your eyes, and finally looking at him. “why?”
you shudder at the eye contact. he looks so pretty, so concerned over you, yet you’re still tense and oh-so nervous. the topic of post-grad has never come up, and now you’re mid-fuck about to tell him how you want to be with him forever. 
“i-i’m scared that… that you’re gonna go off without me,” you pant, hands wrapping around his biceps and holding him to keep you stable. 
“where am i gonna go, beautiful?” he whispers, bottoming out and fully sheathing himself inside of you. 
you whimper again, his massive cock filling you so well. “s-scared you’re gonna go do big things ‘n leave me…” 
he freezes at that, eyes widening, “leave you?” he asks incredulously as if he couldn’t believe that you’d ask that question. “baby, you think i’d leave you?” 
you nod slowly. “i dunno, ‘s just that i’ve been thinking ‘n you’re so smart– gonna go get a real job that’s across the country or something…” 
he’s honestly bewildered. why would you ever think something like that when he’s tried so hard to show you how much he loves you every single day?
“oh, baby, i would never fucking leave you.” he presses his forehead yours, nose rubbing against yours. “pretty fucking thing, i adore you— love you. more than anything.”
your eyes glisten with tears at the reassurance. you feel yourself relax under him, entirely fluttering at his words. “really?”
“yes, really. how can i prove it to you? want me to put a ring on your finger?” he whispers, breath fanning against your face. 
you gasp, clenching around him again, fingers digging into his muscles. he smiles, chuckling airly at your reaction. 
“my pretty baby wants that? you like that idea?” he asks, his sultry voice filling your ears. “you wanna be my wife?”
you nod your head, eyes fluttering shut as you moan, “yeah, w-wanna be your wife.” 
your response has seokmin reeling. he pulls his hips back and slams back into you making both of you moan again. 
“yeah? bet you want my kids, too.” he states boldly, mind cringing at his words and internally freaking out that you’ll get turned off at them. 
you choke, clamping tightly around his length. “f-fuck.” you cry. “d-don’t say things like that, seok.”
“why? ‘cuz i’m right?” he grunts, thrusts growing faster.
you nod your head and seokmin nearly cries, cock twitching at the idea of pumping you full of cum and getting you pregnant with his kids. you’d be such a great mom and he’d love having a mini-seok running around a nice, big house fit to take a family. 
admittedly, he’s been wanting to talk about his future with you. he’s been fantasizing about it since the first time he said he loved you. fantasizing about you being his wife and living together in a big house and having three kids and living happily ever after as if it were some fairytale. he’s imagined your kids and how they would be a constant reminder of his everlasting love for you. he hopes that they’ll look like both of you– kids with your eyes and his nose. he’d kill for that.
“wanna put a baby in you,” he mumbles, lips ghosting over yours. “swear to god, ‘m gonna give you everything you want– ‘ll get you a ring ‘n a house– everything. just say the word.”
you lift your head to press your lips to his, moaning into his mouth like a mad woman. your stomach drops in anticipation, suddenly craving the feeling of his warm cum filling you to the brim, sure to get you pregnant. your legs wrap around him, heels digging into his back and you can’t resist the cry that he ends up swallowing at the new angle. 
seokmin pulls back, panting, “gonna let me give it to you, baby?” 
“uh-huh!” you nod, eyes screwing shut and jaw going slack as his speed increases. “yes, yes, please give it to me.” your response is wavered as you nearly choke on a sob of pleasure. 
and you know the decision is haste– a baby even though you still have a month left of undergrad seems… absurd to say the very least, but you don’t need to think about anything. you know seokmin. you know he’s the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. he's an amazing boyfriend and person in general. you already know he’d make an even more amazing husband and father. 
who would’ve thought the nerdy man with glasses who was insanely good at chemistry would be the one you ended up with?
he lets out a guttural moan, “such a good girl, always saying please.” he praises, slamming into your sweet spot repeatedly.
and jesus fucking christ, your moans and cries are like music to his fucking ears. 
his head falls into your neck, licking and sucking at your skin. “never gonna leave, i promise. gonna make you mine, gonna take care of you.” he mumbles into the skin as he continues to mark and ravage you. 
the stimulation and his words are sending you into orbit as your stomach churns and tightens at the feeling of his cock rearranging your insides. his strokes are impressive, never missing a beat and unrelentingly hitting the spot that makes you crumble. 
he feels you tighten around him, gummy walls squeezing him in and he curses, “shit, is my pretty girl gonna cum already?” his voice borders on condescending, but it only makes the tightrope in your stomach all the more closer to completely unraveling. 
“y-yeah, so close,” you moan breathily as your pants increase, chest rising and falling rapidly. “so fuckin’ close, min, ‘m gonna cum.”
his lips find your ear and he whispers hotly against the shell, “come on, baby, cum for me so i can fill you up.” he gently tugs at your earlobe with his teeth and you can’t resist, back arching with a shiver running down your spine.
your orgasm brings you immense pleasure, white spots filling your vision as you cum with a loud sob. you feel it in your entire body, from your curled toes to your thrown back head. your eyes roll back, calling out his name and raking your nails down the skin of his arms. 
he coos, holding back a groan at the way you get even tighter as you soak him in arousal. “thaaat’s it, baby, just like that. so, so good for me.” he coaxes you through your euphoric high, fucking you through it as he always does. 
“s-so good,” you slur, parroting his words as your mind numbs a bit. 
he moans, letting the sound of your whimpers and the lewd sounds of your bodies meeting fill the room. he buries his head in your neck again, desperately rutting into you so he can let go, too. your eyes flutter closed again and you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to you. 
your overstimulated pussy pulses around him as you listen and whine along to your lover's muffled moans. you can tell he’s close. so close to giving you the life you’ve imagined for almost 2 years. so close to being yours forever. 
“seok, cum inside me,” you whisper and his hips stutter, yet they keep moving as if they have a mind of their own. he lifts his head and looks at you– his eyes are clouded over and teary, yet they’re filled with all the love in the world.
he looks so beautiful above you. his face is scrunched up in pleasure, brows knitted, eyes droopy, mouth hung open as pretty sounds exit his loose lips.
“i… fucking love you…so much.” he says in between pants, thrusts growing sloppy. the telltale signs of his fast approaching orgasm becoming heavily apparent. “god, so much, baby, love you so much.”
you nod your head, mirroring his pleasured face. “me too, seok, i love you.” your words are a bit scrambled, but seokmin makes sense of them– understands you so well. 
his eyes roll back a bit at your response, brain momentarily malfunctioning, but he comes back seconds later. “gonna take this load like a good girl, right, pretty? gonna get pregnant and let me marry you?” he moans out breathily, cock now twitching uncontrollably. 
“yes, yes, yes, please, wan’ it so bad!” you beg.
it’s all he needs to press his hips to yours, stilling there, and releasing inside of you while he moans out your name so prettily. it’s a newfound feeling for both of you– his cum coating your cunt, filling you up till it’s spilling on his freshly washed sheets. he’s grown accustomed to finishing on your skin or into a condom, but this? this is all very new. this is something he now can’t live without.
you think the same thing when you feel him spraying your walls with his thick ropes of cum. it feels so good– so euphoric– while it’s leaking out of you. you don’t know how you’ve gone your entire adult life without experiencing this at least once.  
“c-came so much, baby…” you whimper, feeling him pull his cock out of you. 
as soon as he sees his release dripping out of you, he groans softly, already feeling hard again, but he decides to ignore it for now, bringing his attention back to you.
“hey… love,” he says softly, noticing the way you perk up a bit from your tired state just at the sound of your name. “you should’ve told me you felt like that… i hate that you thought i’d just leave you ‘cause we won’t be in school anymore.”
you frown, “i’m sorry, i didn’t know how to bring it up without being awkward… it’s the real world and i dunno… things are different.”
he sighs, hands running up and down your naked sides. “i get it, but like i said, i wanna be with you forever.”
you blush, biting your lip to hide the wide grin that ends up on your face despite the fact. “yeah, i remember… was that a proposal by the way?” you ask meekly. 
he squeezes at your waist, “did you want it to be?” he beams.
“i mean, it was a bit untraditional, definitely not how i expected my wedding proposal to be.” 
“what? you mean you didn’t think you’d get proposed to while i had my dick inside you?” he asks with faux incredulity. “i, for one, thought this was the best proposal ever. i even put a lil baby in you.”
you giggle, wrapping your legs around his body again, “you don’t know that, i’m not pregnant… yet.”
his heart swells at the idea and he smiles brightly at your blushy face, “well, maybe another round can change that, hmm?”
you pull him closer to you by the strength of your legs and say, “make me yours then, seokmin.”
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iikatsukii · 1 year
Text
When the clock resets.
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synopsis: you’re brought back to life, unsure as to why eywa has given you another chance but as you return “home” things aren't quite the same. . 
pairings: sully family x daughter/sister!reader, neteyam x twin!reader, neytiri x daughter! reader, jake x daughter!reader
warnings: um tbh none except minor cursing, running away, passing out, mentions of malnourishment due to you being dead but yk. oh and ao’nung being a mama’s boy.
word count: 6,064
a/n: THIS IS PART 2 OF TOO LATE!!!! unfortunately there is no red text this time but guys i am still not done with this series because i have a request for if the reader survived the first part. but i will be moving back over to illicit love for a little bit because i didn't even expect this story to blow up like i did. like yall i was just sad and here yall are feeding off my trauma. but its okay yall are my little angst hungry babies. :) (also huge fucking shoutout to @eywas-heir for giving me this idea for pt. 2. go give them kisses for me and say i sent you :d)
taglist: @hai-kbai @ssc7514 @sillydog3-4-5 @hyunskz @innersuitcasehairdoscissors @rairaielv @freeauthordeputyartisan-blog @mel119g @ksata @artyom09 @marcswife21 @innersuitcasehairdoscissors @andyfromku
(if youre name has a strike through it that means i wasnt able to tag you im so sorry guys i tried)
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waking up felt extremely weird. you felt like you had taken the longest, heaviest nap ever. slowly opening your eyes to adjust to the light, you take in your surroundings.
you're in a shallow hole, you noticed as you looked around, and there was dirt around you. you look up at what you would think was the sky and see something else that you remember seeing before. you see the leaf covering that the omatikaya place over their passed-away loved ones. you usually see these leaf coverings from the outside. this caused a slight panic to settle in your chest?
why are you here? did you die? what the hell is going on?
you reached your arm up, still feeling weak from not moving your joints in you don't even know how long. you slowly press against the leaf covering, pushing it away from the hole and exposing the sun to your eyes. you shielded yourself before you felt a shadow standing over your form. it was mo'at. the tsahik of the omatikaya clan.
"tsahik?" it was the first word you said, and it caused mo'at to press a hand to her mouth in shock as tears sprang to her eyes. her granddaughter, who had passed away two years ago, was looking up to her from her grave that she had pushed open herself. the tsahik didn't understand. how could the great mother take you away for two years and let their family mourn and grieve your death just to send you back to them two years later?
this made no sense.
"come with me, my child," was the only thing mo'at said as she reached out to grab your hand. she intertwined your fingers, wanting to hold her granddaughter as close as possible, fearing losing you again. she helped you out of the hole slowly as you still had to get used to moving your arms and legs around again. 
"ma tsahik?" you asked the older woman standing before you. "what happened to me?"
she didn't turn to look at you as she said in a hushed, almost hurt, tone of voice, "you died two years ago," you were left speechless. you didn't know what to say, so you didn't say anything. you tried to think back on what happened before you woke up from your 'nap,' but you couldn't remember anything. no matter how hard, no memories or thoughts came to your head.
"do not try to work your brain so hard trying to find answers that will come to you, my child. you'll hurt yourself." the tsahik jokes.
you looked up at her, seeing the slight smile on her face but missing the faint trace of tears in her eyes. you let out a small laugh at her joke.
"hey! i may not remember anything from before, but i know i was not stupid before i died." you laughed along, but this caused the tsahik to stop in her tracks, turning to you.
"say that again." she said, grabbing hold of your shoulders, her face painted with worry. 
"i was not dumb before i died?" you said, confused at her sudden actions.
"no, child! the other thing you said."
"oh, that i do not remember anything from before i died?" your words were cautious because you didn't know if what you were saying was offensive. 
"we must get you back to the camps." was all she said as she turned, grabbing your hand, but this time she walked with urgency. her pace was hard to keep up with due to your aching body, but you somehow managed. 
once you started to enter your native territory, you felt eyes everywhere. everyone was looking at you. you get it; you died and came back, but did everyone have to stare at you like that? it wasn't like you were the olo'eyktans daughter before you died. 
mo'at brought you to the center of the high grounds camp, and everyone gathered around to see what announcement their tsahik had for them. 
she didn't have some big speech planned. she just held your hand and said to the clan's people. 
"the great-mother has returned my granddaughter!" everyone was cheering and happy. this confused the sully family. the past two years after your death have been hard. the natives completely annihilated every rda soldier, lab, and scientist in sight. it was an unexpected, coordinated attack between the forest na'vi, the ice na'vi, and, surprisingly, even the ash na'vi. due to transportation, the water na'vi couldn't make it to fight the war, but they were able to send over some of their finest healers. 
let's just say no ships are coming to pandora ever again. jake made sure to send a message to the humans back on earth that if they ever sent one of their own to his planet again, he would single-handedly rip them each limb from limb. that was a promise, not a threat. humans had not gotten a chance to respond to jake's words. right after he delivered his messages, he pulled the pin of a grenade and walked out of the ship, it and the rest of the camp's base exploding behind them. although they didn't get to respond, they sure did receive the message, and earth now no longer had an avatar program. as the na'vi walked away from the war, they were victorious once and for all. 
neytiri was quietly braiding her youngest daughter's hair when she heard the cheers and celebration of the clan outside her home. and then that's when her three older children came running into their hut, screaming and crying, speaking simultaneously. it sounded as if they were speaking gibberish. 
"hey, hey kids calm down. what is going on?" jake asked his children, who looked like they were in distress. he was sitting in the home's living area, sharpening his blade as he had nothing else to do. 
"Y/N HAS RETURNED." it was kiri who got the words out first. 
neytiri, jake, and tuk all froze. there was no way. the great mother had taken you right in front of their eyes. you have been gone for two years; it can't be. neytiri had visited your grave just last night. there you lay, closed-eyed and lifeless in front of her, but as she walked out of her home and into the center of the clan's gathering there, you stood. you looked skinny and malnourished, but you were standing, breathing, alive. 
neytiri couldn't believe her eyes. she thought she was dreaming as she approached you slowly. she held your face in her hands, and as soon as she felt your skin against her own, she broke down in tears, engulfing you in the tightest hug you had ever felt. 
"ow." you said when she squeezed a bit too hard. this caused the woman to release you quickly, as she had forgotten how fragile you were right now. 
"ma ite, you have returned to me, oh great mother, you have answered my prayers. thank you, thank you, thank you," she said as she pulled you into a hug again, this time softer, as if she was afraid that if she held you too rough, you would break in her arms. 
you, on the other hand, were nervous. granddaughter? ite? what is going on right now? there's no way you're the tsahik's granddaughter. you couldn't imagine what your mother would be like as a person, let alone any of your family. all you knew was that you were from the forest, but maybe eywa brought you back to the wrong part of the forest? you couldn't even look at the woman before you and pinpoint a resemblance. you had four fingers; some of her children had five, and you weren't like them. only one other child had four tingers, and you noticed it was the eldest son. 
when you made eye contact with him, his eyes softened. neteyam hadn't looked into his twin's eyes in ages. he missed you like no other. yeah, neytiri had it hard losing her first daughter, but neteyam had his twin's life ripped from her body right in front of his eyes. at that moment, it was almost like he felt the bullets go through his chest as well. that's how great the pain of losing you felt. but looking at you now, he felt like his heart was whole again. but there was this look in your eye. you looked different. not physically. you looked at neteyam differently. almost like you didn't recognize him.
mo'at had hoped that seeing your home and your family would cause your memories to come flooding back, but the look on your face was not giving her that impression. 
"i am sorry if i am ruining a happy moment…." you spoke up, causing everyone to immediately silence themselves so they wouldn't miss a word you said. but you didn't say anything that caused any happiness or joy in anyone. instead, your words scared everyone.
"–but i do not know who you guys are. i am not the tsahik's granddaughter and miss, i am not your daughter. i am sorry but i think you have things confused. please excuse me." you pulled yourself away from the woman who claimed to be your mother, but she tightened her grip on your hands.
"ma y/n, what do you mean? you do not remember me? i am your mother, your sa'nu. you are ma ite, my sweet girl." neytiri was taken aback. this isn't right, you're supposed to come back, and then everything goes back to normal. but the great mother has returned you with no memories at all. to you, neytiri was just a stranger claiming to be your mother.  
the next person to approach you was the olo'eyktan himself. you couldn't bring yourself to look him in the eyes because of how his vast form intimidated you.
"itetsyip. maybe if you come home and see some of your things then you'll remember." he said, placing his hand on your back and walking you in the direction of what you assumed was their home. you quickly remove yourself from the two adults who had you in their arms. 
"i am sorry but i am not your daughter. i do not want to enter your home to look at whatever things you think are mine. just because i have no memory of my family does not mean you get to take me away from them. the great mother may have returned me to my body with no memories but that does not mean you get to put whatever you want in my head, trying to get me to believe you. i only just returned. do you not understand how overwhelming this is?" you were scared. everything was happening so fast. 
you just found out that you had been dead for two years, and now these people are trying to push this life in you that you know god and well that wasn't yours. you don't know who these people are, and they were making absurd accusations. maybe you really were in the wrong part of the forest.
"y/n stop joking around. do you not remember us? you are neteyam's twin sister for crying out loud. how can you be cruel enough to pull a joke like this? have we not suffered enough?" lo'ak was fed up with this whole situation. you were his sister, dammit. how could you not remember that? neteyam is your twin. you, tuk, and kiri were sisters. they're standing right in front of you, just begging you to run into their arms so they can embrace you.
you looked at the teenage boy oddly. like he had three heads. he doesn't know what he's talking about. these people are so pushy and demanding; you can't come from a family like this. you thought about it, and you knew they would be able to catch you if you tried to make a break for it, but you didn't want to be here anymore. 
lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice the family's eldest son walking up to you. he gently grabbed your shoulders, looking directly into your eyes that were identical to his. 
"you could not have forgotten about your twin brother have you, sister?" his words were soft. they sounded broken like he was hurting inside. from what? you don't know, but this isn't your problem to deal with. these people obviously lost somebody, but it is not you. you are not from here. so you hatched a plan in your head. 
"maybe i just need to walk around the forest and re-familiarize myself. it–" you choked on your words, not even wanting to say it.
"it could help me regain my memories. and then we can be a family again, yeah?" you look into the boy's eyes, noticing them shining a bit brighter. you gave him hope. 
that wasn't your intention. you just wanted to leave, so to make yourself 100x more believable, you hugged him. with all the strength you had in your body, which wasn't much. 
everyone was shocked. even neteyam, but he didn't want to lose this moment, so he hugged you back tight, so you could feel his love but not too tight because of how weak you are. you pulled back from the hug, bowing slightly to everyone before you walked in the direction that you and the tsahik came from so you wouldn't seem lost. you looked back before you could fully disappear into the trees. eyes meeting those of the people who claimed to be your family. looking at them, you didn't even see where you would fit in. they already looked whole. so you managed a small fake smile, sent them a small wave, and continued your trek through the forest, trying to get as far away from the omatikaya people as possible.
by the time they realize you're gone, you'll already be way too far for them to find you. you wandered around, wondering why the great-mother returned you like this? did you not deserve to keep your memories?
almost as if she heard your question, the great mother flashed an image in your head. it was different shades of forest green, with indigo spots placed randomly around its body, looking almost like flowers. its wings were majestic, but you couldn't pinpoint what you had seen until it landed right in front of you, keeping you from walking off a cliff you hadn't even realized you were walking towards. 
you couldn't believe that after two years of being gone, your ikran, syulang, was still alive. you named her syulang because, yes, of course, she looks like she's covered in flowers, but unlike other ikrans, syu was quiet, elegant, almost undetectable in the air. you would never hear her flying anywhere, and nobody knew why. the air would run smoothly over her wings, completely muting the sound of the wind rushing by in comparison to the usual loud, noisy ikrans that everyone else had tamed. syulang was delicate, like a flower.  "syu! hi girl, oh my goodness you’re alive." you said as you created your tsaheylu with her for the first time in years. it felt like the first time all over again, except without the part where she tried to kill you. syulang was happy to see you as well, nuzzling into you. "syulang, we have to go. right now. come on girl, take me home." when you said this, syulang made a noise of confusion but allowed you to mount her anyways. the two of you took off into the night, the eclipse making it too dark for anyone to notice that an ikran was out flying. not like they would hear syulang anyways.
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it's been hours. you still hadn't come back from the forest, and the sullys were getting worried. everyone was tense and stressed until kiri spoke up. 
"she ran away," the teenage girl hadn't even realized it was herself who had spoken. she looked up and made eye contact with everyone in her family, repeating herself.
"she ran away, and she is not going to come back." tears sprung to her eyes as she just wanted her sister to return home. it was like eywa was dangling the most precious thing to them right in their faces, and every time they reached out, she snatched it away. 
"she would not do that. she said she was just going on a walk. kiri have some faith in her. sure she did not remember us but she would not have hugged me if she was just gonna run away. she said she would come home." neteyam argued. he didn't want to believe that you had left them again, but that's what it was starting to seem like. 
"we will check the ikrans. if hers is still there, then she's around here somewhere. we can go out and look for her." syulang had not left your family's ikran nest since the day you had passed. she was too depressed to do anything with her hunter being dead. the sullys made sure to take care of her for you, knowing you wouldn't want syu to suffer like you did. honestly, syulang was the closest thing the sullys had to you after you died. they'd take turns taking care of her at night, bringing tuk every now and then so she could see syulang too. 
the walk to the family ikran nest was full of arguing. kiri said that neteyam and lo'ak had to come to their senses and realize that you were gone again. the boys refused to believe that you would leave again, but as they approached the ikran nest, seeing syulang's corner abandoned gave them the answer they fought over. 
you had left.
"i told you she left. i mean for eywa's sake you guys bombarded her as soon as she got here!" kiri yelled at her family. she knew this was just displaced anger and that she didn't really mean it, but she was tired of holding her tongue. 
"don’t you dare say we bombarded her! she is my twin who died in front of me! eywa forgive me for wanting to hug her after she's been dead for two years!" neteyam yelled back at kiri; this just caused a huge family argument to break out.
tuk, who was standing to the side watching her family fall apart, couldn't help but cry. she just wanted her family to go back to normal. "stop fighting…" it came out as a whisper, her family arguing so loud that they hadn't even heard her. so she decided to make them hear her.
"STOP FIGHTING!!" everyones' heads snapped at the youngest sully child. little tuk had just raised her voice at them for the first time ever.
"give me a break! we are all hurt okay?! us, y/n, grandma, the clan? everyone is sad! we did bombard her! she has not been here for two years. we should have let her settle in first. i get it. you guys miss her. so do i, but ma sa'nu when you talked to her she looked so confused and scared. and nete, when she was hugging you her eyes were so empty. she looked so lost. we scared her away. we had a chance to make things normal again, to be a family again and all you guys could do was be selfish and think about yourselves!! i just miss her. i want her to come back, i–" tuk couldn't even finish what she was saying as her sobs overcame her. neytiri scooped up her youngest daughter, cradling her in her arms, trying to soothe her harsh cries.
tuk had just lectured their entire family, and nobody could be mad at her because she was right. neytiri realized that she had been pushy. jake and lo'ak, too, but it wasn't because they were trying to scare you. they just missed you so much they couldn't contain themselves. they had been selfish, putting their feelings over yours once again. it was the same way they lost you last time, and now, who knows where you went or when you left. the family just remained in their ikrans nest that night, needing all the warmth they could get as they all just held each other and cried.
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you didn't think you could fly any longer. it had already been a few days, and you didn't see the forest anymore. you already didn't have a lot of energy due to you being dead for two years, but it didn't help that you left with absolutely no supplies to survive on your own. everything was starting to look the same. you felt like you were going in circles, seeing the same islands over and over. the ocean water was beautiful, you had to admit, but right now, all you could think about was if it would cushion your fall if you fell off your ikran. you knew it was only moments before you passed out from exhaustion.
the world started to spin as if it wasn't already, your vision was in and out, and you felt sleepy. you were exhausted and couldn't fly another second. as your body completely shut down, you fell off your ikran and into the waters below you, your tsaheylu disconnecting in the process.
had it not been for the hunters out at three brothers rock, you would have died. they noticed your ikran flying in the direction of their mainland, assuming you were a visitor and that they would meet you when they got back to the island, but they knew something was wrong when they noticed your form plummeting from the extreme height, completely motionless. 
they only took a few minutes to have you on the rock. they were nervous about doing cpr on you because you looked to be a teenager.
"ao'nung, come over here!" the hunter in charge called over the olo'eyktans son.
"what is it?" he said, noticing the tension in the air. he looked down, seeing you unconscious on the ground. his eyes widened. where had you come from? pushing that question aside, ao'nung took in your appearance, noticing how thin and weak you looked. he didn't know what it was, but it stirred something in him. you reminded him of his little sister, tsireya. if this was her, he would want one of the hunters to save her, so he put one arm under your shoulders and another under your leg and slid into the water, calling out to his ilu. 
"i'm bringing her to my mother immediately. she looks weak. i don't even know if she'll live, but i have to try." he said before taking off as fast as he could to the mainland. he noticed above him your ikran was flying at the same pace as him, probably too worried to leave your side.
when ao'nung got home holding an unconscious forest na'vi, he received a lot of weird glances from the clan's people, but he didn't care. he rushed home, looking for his mother.
pushing the flap open to see his mother had just put the last of her herbs away, ao'nung called out to his mom. 
"sa'nu! help! i– she needs help. please." hearing her son in distress, ronal was quick to give him her attention. instructing to lay the girl on the floor, she reminded herself to ask him where he had found her, but right now, she prioritized saving your life. she tried a healing remedy that would've usually worked, but you remained motionless. ronal put her ear to your chest, your heart was beating, but it was very faint. she knew only one thing she could do now, and it was the riskiest healing remedy known by all tsahiks. it has a minimal success rate but has healed some of the deadliest injuries known to eywa.  
once the remedy was made entirely, ronal told ao'nung to get out and find his father and sister before coming back. the boy nodded, walking out to find his sister. 
when he spotted tsireya riding on the ilus with her friends, he called her over. tsireya noticed her brother looked a bit more anxious than usual, so she excused herself and walked over. 
"brother what is wro– oh!" ao'nung pulled his little sister into the tightest hug he could muster. she remained shocked as her brother wasn't really one for physical affection at all unless it was from his mother. 
"please just– don't die on me, okay? at least not anytime soon. promise me, okay?" he said, pulling back and grabbing her shoulders as he looked into his sister's eyes. she just nodded and walked alongside her brother, wondering what on earth had him shaken up like this. 
upon retrieving his father, ao'nung returned with his father and his sister in tow. when they entered the tent, you were in ronal's arms, crying your heart out. the woman just looked up to her family, shushing them as she continued to provide you comfort. hearing your cries throughout their home hurt their hearts. you cried like you were hurt like you had experienced grave pain, and it was coming back to haunt you. 
from this moment on, the family decided they would take you in. they didn't know who or where you were from, but they wanted to heal you of this pain. their hearts hurt hearing how much pain your heart had to endure. there's a reason why eywa brought you to them, and they were not about to let you go.
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you had been living amongst the metkayina clan for about half a year now. you weren't even recognizable from when you had arrived at the clan. when you got here, you were thin as a twig, you never had the energy to do anything, and you cried yourself to sleep every night. now, you had filled out your form, even gaining a bit of muscle from adapting to the metkayina ways. you had also completed your iknimaya, which meant you were allowed to get a tattoo. you choose to get two. the pain was well worth it, though, because once your leg sleeve and arm tattoo were complete, you couldn't have been happier. 
you finally felt like your life was worth living again. you no longer cried yourself to sleep; instead, you snuck out with your brother and sister, going to the small island where all the young na'vi hang out. you were finally happy. the great mother had brought you home. she had returned you to your family. 
the only odd thing was your dreams recently. you dreamed of the forest, of nantangs, woodsprites, and ikrans. things that have nothing to do with the metkayina. it was weird. you felt like eywa was trying to shove memories in your brain, but you were so at peace with your life that you disregarded it, too caught up, in reality, to be bothered by silly dreams. 
you loved life on the beaches, in the sand, underwater, just taking in the beauty of awat'alu as you sat on a rock. at the same time, you watched ao'nung, tsireya, and rotxo playing on their ilus in the water. they were splashing each other, just taking time to be the teenagers they knew they'll never be again. you were about to cannonball in the water to join them when you all heard the horns of the clan being blown, announcing new arrivals. 
you all stopped what you were doing, looking toward the screeches you heard. you knew that sound, that was bob, jake's ikran.
wait a minute… what?
whos jake?
‘jake sully’ said a voice in your head. you recognized it as she had spoken to you once before, but you couldn't remember where. 
why is this name coming to your head right now? you felt your wrist being grabbed by your sister, tsireya. she dragged you to the beaches of your clan's home, where everyone else had gathered. you stood behind your father, tonowari, as you continued to think about the name that came to your head. who is jake sully, and why did you just remember his name? 
"my children, ao'nung, tsireya, and–" tonowari paused, looking to his side at his children, realizing one was missing, until he turned around and realized you were just hiding behind him. 
"–and my youngest, y/n, will teach your children the ways of our home, so you do not suffer the burden of being useless here," tonowari stepped aside, pushing you in front of him, so the family who had arrived could see you. 
you looked up to make eye contact with the first person you spotted.
"tuktuk." the words were quiet from your mouth. the little girl, who had her head tucked into her mother's neck, perked up when she heard the nickname you used to call her.
"kiri, cut it out. that is not funny!" tuk said, looking at her sister, offended she would play a sick joke on her like that after they had just left their home. 
jake and neytiri decided to move their family from the omatikaya clan, deciding that being there reminded them too much of you. it hurt to continue to live on the soil that you died on. so they up and moved their whole family elsewhere, flying towards warmer air and gorgeous waters. they fully expected to be able to find uturu with jake being toruk makto and their war being over. what they hadn't expected to see was their dead runaway daughter standing amongst a sea of teal na'vi.
slowly walking towards the family, tonowari called out to you, but ronal placed her hand on her mate's chest, telling him to shut up and watch what was happening.
"tuktuk," you repeated as you walked towards the girl. when tuk realized that the voice was coming from in front of her and not behind her, she turned her head around, her yellow eyes meeting yours. 
"y/n!!" tuk practically dropped herself from her moms' arms, running up to you. 
you met her halfway, falling to your knees, pulling your little sister into a hug, her face in your neck as you supported her head. as you looked at each one of them, their names, faces, and memories came back. you remembered everything. 
"and you're neteyam, and lo'ak and kiri!" when your siblings heard you say their names, it was like a switch in them flipped. within seconds they were all in the sand hugging you and tuk, crying because you finally remembered them. 
you pulled back from the hug, looking at the two people who hadn't joined the hug yet. 
"sempu," you said, reaching your hand out to jake. he didn't even try to conceal his tears as he allowed himself to join his children in their hug. 
your mother still stood there in awe. neytiri was scared. she was the reason you left last time and didn't want to scare you away again, so she just stood with tears rolling down her face, not knowing what to do. for the first time in her life, neytiri didn't know what to do. 
you could see the hesitation in her eyes. but you were confused as to why. neytiri was the only one who treated you right before you died… so why is she the last to come to you.
"mom?" you called out to her, but she didn't move. did she not want you anymore? has she gotten used to the family without you? 
you tried once more, refusing to lose your family again. "sa'nu, please." a tear rolled down your cheek, looking into your mother's eyes. you saw all the hurt and stress, everything she had to endure while you were gone. 
hearing you call her sa'nu was the last push neytiri needed before she fell to her knees and joined her family's embrace. you have returned. you returned to your family, and you were safe. everyone pulled back from you, taking in your appearance. you had matured a lot since the last time they saw you. you and neteyam were about the same height now, but your muscles surpassed his due to all the swimming you do. 
you noticed that he had noticed too, and you just nudged his shoulder with your own, "do not worry, twin, i will teach you everything you will need to know. maybe you will grow up to be big and strong like me," you teased your twin. neteyam rolled his eyes, laughing along with you. 
"woah! y/n, you have a tattoo?" lo'ak asked as he looked at your left leg. you just laughed at his silly question. of course, that's the first thing he asks you. 
"she has two! there's one on this arm as well," kiri said, holding out your right arm so they could see the tattoo that you had there as well. 
"no fair, mom, i want a tattoo." tuk said, whining to her mother. neytiri laughed at her daughter's statement and just pet her head, moving her braids out her face. "maybe when you're older, tuk," she said.
"babygirl," your father grabbed your attention. "i just want you to know that we are all so sorry for how we treated you before you past–" you cut your father off, shaking your head. 
"it is in the past. the great mother may have returned my memories but it is me who gets to choose which ones to remember. i want to leave the past behind me. i have found a new home here. new peace. a found family who loves me dearly. i don't want you guys to feel like you have to atone to anything. eywa has given us a new start, so i think we should welcome it with open arms instead of trying to mend that has already been healed," you really had matured in your time away from the sullys. 
they all looked at one another. if that was what you wanted, they would be sure to leave the past in the past so they can embrace the chance to make things right with you. 
you stood, the rest of the sullys following. you walked back over to tonowari and ronal, pulling them into a hug. 
"just because my memories have returned does not mean that you are not my family anymore. you have all helped and healed me from wounds that i did not know i had so i can only thank you, sempu, sa'nu. you guys are my found family and i would not trade you for the world." smiling up at your other parents. Wow, this is gonna get confusing, but you were more than excited to have two families. 
you looked over and pulled ao'nung and tsireya into the hug as well. "you guys, too, thank you so much," you said to your siblings. they couldn't do anything but hug you back. you may not be their biological blood, but they could care less. you are now one of their people. ronal and tonowari will always see you as their daughter, and ao'nung and tsireya will always see you as their sister. you will always be family to them. 
you and tsireya decided to guide the sully family to their new home, as ronal had allowed them to stay. you noticed that lo'ak was eying your sister up quite a bit and decided that you would tease him about it later. you were just happy to finally feel at peace. you finally had the family, the life you had dreamed of. 
you couldn't do anything except thank eywa for all the good she brought into your life. 
‘you're welcome, my child.’ it was the same voice that you heard earlier. when you realized that she was responding to your thanks, if you finally clicked whose voice you were hearing. 
it was eywa.
she was with you. she had always been. throughout this journey, she made sure to stick by your side. that was something that you couldn't be more grateful for. 
‘be free my child, allow nothing from here on out to hold you back. you are meant to live a happy life, and now you are able to do so.’
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once-upon-an-imagine · 4 months
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Man On a Wire
A/N: somehow this worked again I really hope you loves like this!
Request - Anonymous asked: For a dialogue, how about Remus thinking you like Sirius so when you ask him to a library date he thinks it's a prank or to make Sirius jealous and he says no. Remus then finds out you were talking with Sirius about him and apologizes.
Warnings: insecurities on Remus' part, making him be a biiit of an asshole, but I think that's it! let me know if I missed anything, also is like 2am here and this is not proofread
Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter :) gif isn’t mine :D  
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Man On a Wire
I feel like I'm walkin' on a tight rope My heart is in my throat, I'm counting on high hopes to get me over you
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You kept walking back and forth in front of the Quidditch Pitch.
“You need to calm down, love. It’s only a question” Alice tried to reassure you.
“B-but what if he says no?” you asked, feeling anxious.
“He’s not gonna say no” she insisted.
“You don’t know that. There might be a million reasons why he would say no” you said, making your best friend glare at you. “O-okay maybe not a million but… a f-few” you shrugged.
“Hey, ladies” you heard Sirius approaching and landing next to the two of you. “What are you still doing here? We’re gonna be done in a few minutes” he said looking at you.
“She’s second-guessing herself” Alice told him.
“C’mon, love. We’ve been through this. I’ve told you a million times. I know first-hand, Remus is basically in love with you-” Sirius said, rolling his eyes.
“L-love? You never said anything about love, Black!”
“I didn’t think I needed to. He looks at you worse than Prongs looks at Lily or Frank looks at this one” he said, pointing at Alice.
“Hey, don’t drag Frank into this” Alice glared at him.
“My point is, it’s time you both just stop being stupid and get together” he simply said.
“But what if he says no?”
“Why would he say no?”
“I don’t know!”
“He’s not gonna say no, okay? So, just, go up there and we’ll be out here waiting for you two idiots to come out holding hands and we can go to dinner” Sirius said before he started pushing you towards the bleachers, where Remus was sitting.
“Okay, okay, I’m going!” you said, looking at your best friends one last time and taking a deep breath.
You started climbing up the empty stairs and walked over to one of the highest bleachers where you knew Remus always read while he waited for his friends to be done with practice. Not that you knew his every move you just… noticed. You felt your heart beating faster when you spotted him. He was so enthrallingly handsome, it was ridiculous. You always heard girls talking about how stunning Sirius was and, you didn’t disagree, Sirius was very attractive. But Remus’ beauty was completely different. It was hypnotizing. Which is why you were extremely worried about asking him out.
You gripped your books to your chest a bit tighter and made your way over to his spot. He was so concentrated on his book that his tongue was sticking out a little and he was resting his head on his right hand as he read. You cleared your throat a little, getting his attention and making him look up at you.
“Um… h-hello, Remus” you smiled, nervously.
“Hi” he smiled back at you.
“I am sorry to um b-bother you” you started. “Uh, is it okay if I join you?”
“Oh, yeah, sure” he said, getting up and scootching a little to make room for you. How were you not supposed to fall in love with this man?
“Um, th-thank you” you said, placing your bag on the floor and taking your books out. “So, um… what are you reading?”
“Oh” he said, marking the page on his book. “Um, I’m reading A Murder is Announced” he said, showing it to you. “Have you read it?”
“Oh, yes, I read this last year. It’s a really good book. Are you enjoying it?”
“I am” he nodded. “So, what brings you to the Quidditch Pitch today?” he asked, all of the sudden.
“Oh, w-well, there’s a match on Friday” you said. “... right?”
“Right” he smiled. “Are you planning on coming to the match?”
“W-well, I don’t know. I’m not much of a Quidditch fan, as you know” you said, feeling your cheeks burn. “S-so, I thought maybe if I watch them practice I might understand it a little bit better?” you said, nervously.
“Why the sudden interest?” he asked, curiously.
“Um, I don’t know” you said, nervously running a hand through your hair. “It’s our last year, so… I promised myself to try new things” you smiled wearily. “So, um… do you think you can explain some of it for me?”
“Um… sure” he said, putting his book down. “I mean, I’m not the best myself but I did read Quidditch Through the Ages” he said, making you laugh a little. “So, Prongs is the captain” he said, pointing at his friend. “He, Sirius, and Kurt are Chasers. So, they have to get the Quaffle through the hoops” he instructed.
“Okay, that doesn’t seem that complicated” you said.
“Right, but it’s the Beater’s job to throw the Bludgers at them and prevent them to do so” he told you. “Fabian and Gideon are really good. But, we’re playing Ravenclaw on Friday and their Beaters are quite ruthless” he explained.
“So, I take it you’re coming to the match on Friday?”
“I am” he nodded. “I never miss a Gryffindor match” he smiled.
“Oh, Merlin! Look at him! He looks even better with his hair like that” you heard a group of girls a few steps down and to your right. They were ogling and sighing over Sirius, who wasn’t as far, brushing his sweaty hair with his hand.
“Ugh, I know! He’s stupidly handsome” another one giggled.
“So… Sirius has his own cheerleading section?” you chuckled.
“Yeah, he kind of does” Remus told you as Sirius made his way over to the group of girls in his broom.
“Hello, ladies” he said, flashing his signature handsome smirk at them, making them giggle and they all started complimenting him.
When he spotted you, he quickly sent a wink your way. You failed to see Remus rolling his eyes as he started putting his stuff in his bag, which is why he failed to see Sirius widening his eyes at you before pointing at Remus hinting that you needed to ask him. You sighed, rolling your eyes, and took a deep breath one more time.
“Um, R-Remus?”
“Yes?” he asked, looking back at you.
“Um, w-well, I was um…” you stuttered nervously. “C-could I ask you something?”
“Sure” he said, turning to look at you.
He noticed you were nervously playing with your hands before you looked at Sirius one last time and then you finally faced him. He prepared himself to hear you ramble on about how much in love with Sirius you were and if he could help you fix a date with him or something.
“W-well, I was w-wondering if, uh-” you said, again. “If you’re not busy on F-Friday, um… m-maybe you’d like to um…” you stammered. “G-go with me to the Library to study, b-before the match?” you managed to finally spit out. You felt your heartbeat increase as you waited for your answer.
“What?” Remus frowned.
“O-or if you’re busy we can c-come to the match?” you tried, smiling nervously. “O-or I b-believe it’s a Hogsmeade weekend-”
“What’s your angle?” he asked you all of the sudden, taking you by surprise.
“Um… a-angle?”
“Honestly, if you want to go out with Sirius, just ask him” he said, standing up and grabbing his bag.
“Sirius? W-what are you talking about-?”
“You know, a lot of girls have asked me what’s the best way to ask him out but none of them have sunk so low to the point of pretending that you would like to spend with me to get closer to him-”
“That’s not what I was-” you tried to explain, getting up yourself.
“What is it then? Are you trying to make him jealous or something?”
“What? No! Remus, I don’t-”
“You know what? No, thank you. I honestly have better things to do than to spend a day with you talking about Sirius” he said before walking away, leaving you standing there, mouth opened, dumbfounded. You didn’t even hear the last things he said. The only words ringing in your ears were ‘No, thank you. I honestly have better things to do than to spend a day with you.’
Your eyes kept looking at him as he climbed down the stairs and you saw the group of girls that were looking at Sirius. They all looked at you with sorrow in their eyes. They felt sorry for you. You had just been rejected in front of them. You felt your eyes starting to water as you saw Alice running towards you.
“Hey, what happened? I just saw Remus leaving-”
“He said no” you silently said as a few tears ran down your cheeks.
“What? Why?”
“He said he- um” you tried to explain to your friend as she sat you down. “He thought I was asking him out b-because I wanted to get closer to Sirius” you said.
“What? That’s ridiculous! Why would he think that?”
“I don’t know” you said. “I tried to tell him that wasn’t the case b-but he didn’t let me explain and he left” you finished, crying a little harder.
“Hey” Sirius said, flying over to the two of you. “What happened? Why are you crying?”
“Remus said no” Alice informed him as she hugged you.
“What? Why?”
“He thought she was only asking him because she wanted to ask you out” Alice explained.
“He said that?” Sirius asked you and you slowly nodded. “I’m gonna bloody kill him” he muttered under his breath. “Look, love, I’ll talk to him, okay?”
“N-no, it’s okay” you said, trying to stop more tears from falling. “I d-don’t think Remus likes me that way anyways” you said, sadly.
“Don’t say that, love” Alice insisted. “Let’s just go to dinner and we can talk things through” she suggested.
“I’m not hungry” you said, pulling away and grabbing your things. “You guys should go” you smiled sadly at them. “I think I’m just gonna go to my dorm” you told them, eying the group of girls who were now leaving.
“No, we can talk to Remus-”
“Go and rest, okay? I’ll bring you something” Alice interrupted Sirius.
“Thanks guys” you smiled weakly at them. “I’ll see you tomorrow” you said before making your way out.
“Bye, love” Sirius said before turning to Alice. “I’m going to kill Remus” he repeated.
“If you don’t, I will” she replied.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
“What the bloody hell is your problem?” Sirius asked when he burst into his dorm.
Remus was reading a book, James was coming out of the shower, and Peter was just sitting there waiting for everyone to get ready so they could go to dinner.
“Which one of us are you talking to, Pads?” James asked, confused.
“Why don’t you ask your stupid friend Moony” Sirius said, glaring at him.
“What are you talking about?” Remus frowned confused.
“Oh, you’re going to play dumb? So we’re just going to pretend that nothing happened back in the Quidditch Pitch and you didn’t make anyone cry?”
“What?” James and Peter asked at the same time.
“Again, what are you talking about? Nobody cried” Remus said, closing his book and getting up.
“Really? Are you sure about that, Moony? Are you really sure?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Padfoot. You have no idea what happened!”
“Oh, really? So, you didn’t reject her when she asked you out?”
“What? Who asked you out?” James asked, interested.
“Nobody-”
“Nobody? Really? The girl that you have practically been in love with for years is now nobody?”
“What? She asked you out?” Peter asked.
“You said no?” James asked, extremely confused.
“She didn’t ask me out, okay? She was only asking to spend time with me to get closer to you!”
“What?” James and Peter asked again. “That doesn’t make any sense!” James said.
“Yeah, what are you talking about, mate?” Peter asked.
“Why the fuck would she want to get closer to me? We’re friends!”
“Because she’s in love with you, just like every other girl in this stupid school is, apparently!” Remus snapped.
“You see? You see how stupid your friend is?” Sirius told James.
“Stop talking to me as if I’m not here! And stop calling me stupid!”
“Mate, you are stupid! You truly are if you think she was only asking you out to get closer to Sirius!” James told him.
“Shut up! I saw the way that she was looking at him! You winked at her, and all of the sudden she’s interested in Quidditch and she wants to go to the match on Friday, and I’m supposed to believe she doesn’t fancy you?”
“Mate, I highly doubt she’s interested in Quidditch” Peter laughed.
“Yeah, she’s as interested in Quidditch as she is in Padfoot” James added.
“Moons, I winked at her because I knew she was nervous about asking you out. See, it was actually the other way around. She came to me and asked me how she could ask you out” he explained.
“W-what?” Remus asked, feeling terrible.
“Do you honestly not know how much in love with you she is?” Peter asked, confused.
“Yeah, she’s always looking at you, mate” James told him.
“She’s n-not” he insisted, trying to convince himself that he hadn’t just turned you down and that you were not in love with him. “She likes Padfoot. She’s always with him-!”
“Yeah, talking about you, you idiot!” Sirius told him. “She’s always asking what your favorite books are, what movies do you like, and what would be the best way to ask you out! And when she finally got the courage to do it, you said no” he explained.
“Holy shit” Remus muttered to himself, plopping on his bed again. “I am so stupid” he stated.
“Yes, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, mate” Sirius said, sitting next to him. “So, what are you going to do?”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Throughout the next few days, Remus tried endlessly to find you so he could apologize but it was useless. You were avoiding him like the plague. Even when he tried using the Map, it was as if you were one step ahead of him. He looked for you in the Library, where he thought you’d be even if he said no, but you were nowhere to be found. He hoped you would make it to the match on Friday, but again, you were a no-show.
It wasn’t until Saturday when he begged Alice to drag you to Hogsmeade so he could just ‘casually’ run into you. It took him and Sirius to convince her since she was still mad at Remus for rejecting you, but she caved.
So, here you were, on your way to Hogsmeade as a third wheel on Alice and Frank’s date, although they insisted it wasn’t a date, so Marlene and Dorcas were here too. So, all in all, you were fifth-wheeling.
“Come on, love. It’s gonna be fun!” Marlene said, linking her arm with yours. “We can do whatever you’d like!”
“Yeah, we can go to the Three Broomsticks, or Tomes and Scrolls, or the music shop” Dorcas suggested.
“To be honest with you, girls, I kind of just want to go to Honeydukes to get as much candy as I can carry and then go back” you said with a sad sigh.
“What? No, love, it’s a beautiful day!” Marlene insisted.
“Look, we have some errands to run, why don’t you go to Honeydukes to get some candy, and then we can meet at the Three Broomsticks?” Alice suggested as you entered the village.
“Um… can’t I just by my candy and go-”
“No!” Dorcas and Marlene said in unison. “We’re gonna head to the Three Broomsticks to get a booth, so you better come there after buying your candy” Dorcas added.
“Ugh, fine!” you said, frustrated.
In all honesty, all you wanted to do was buy an endless amount of candy and go back to your dorm. Ever since Remus rejected you, you felt people watching you everywhere you went. You could hear them talking about you and you were certain that the girls that witnessed the entire thing had already spread around your very much public rejection. Which is why you had been avoiding going out of your dorm as much as you could.
You turned around to make your way to Honeydukes, completely missing that your friends joined James, Peter, Lily, Remus, and Sirius at the Three Broomsticks.
“You’re up, Lupin” Alice said, still glaring at him as the rest made their way inside the pub.
Remus took a deep breath before he followed you into the sweetshop. He spotted you on one of the furthest shelves, holding, or trying to, as many sweets as you could in your hands. He felt a sweet smile forming on his face as he watched you. A small part of him still thought that Sirius was wrong. That there was no way that you could ever be interested in someone like him.
But his heart fluttered more intensely with each step he took towards you, and he knew that whether Sirius was right or wrong, he still needed to apologize to you for the way he spoke. When one of the many chocolate frogs you had fell on the floor, he quickly made his way over to you and picked it up.
“Um, here, I think you dropped this” he said, making you turn around to face him. His heart ached a little when the smile dropped off your face when you saw it was him.
“Oh… um” you said, grabbing the treat from his hand. “Thanks” you smiled nervously.
“How have you been?” he asked, cursing himself silently. “I uh… didn’t see you at the match yesterday” he added.
“Right… I wasn’t really in the mood to go” you smiled firmly.
“Oh” Remus said, feeling even worse. “W-well, you missed a good match” he chuckled. “Gryffindor won” he said.
“I heard” you replied noticing a few people looking your way. “Um, I should uh- probably get going” you said, as you were going to start making your way out, but you felt Remus gently grab your arm and turn you around.
“Wait!” he said, getting even more attention from the students around you. “Um, I…” he felt his heart beating a little faster. He didn’t like dragging this much attention to himself and he wanted to ask you to go somewhere a bit more private. But, firstly, he didn’t think you’d like to go anywhere with him until you apologized and secondly, he very much publicly rejected you, so maybe he had to do the same thing. “I wanted to apologize to you” he blurted out.
“Oh, R-Remus, you don’t have to-”
“Yes, I do” he said, getting closer to you and pulling you a little away. “I’m really sorry about the way that I spoke to you” he said. “I’m sorry for assuming that you were just talking to me to get closer to Sirius-”
“Why did you think that?” you asked all of the sudden.
“E-excuse me?”
“Why would you think that the only reason I would talk to you or wanted to spend time with you would be to get closer to someone else?” you asked. “I mean, I thought- I thought we were friends… Is that… um… is that what you think of me?” you asked, sadly.
“What? No!” he assured you. “I don’t- we are friends” he insisted. “I just…” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, here it goes” he said, taking a deep breath. “I like you, love” he started. “I really like you. I’ve liked you so much for so long, I’m pretty sure that I’m very much in love with you” he confessed. “But, I never in a million years thought that y-you could like me like that” he said. “I thought that you were only interested in Quidditch because you wanted to see Sirius and I saw him wink at you, so my reasoning was that you liked him because, for some reason every girl in school does, and that would be the logical thing-”
“The logical thing would be for me to like Sirius?”
“Well, yes” he said as if it was obvious.
“Why?”
“Why would you have any interest in spending time with me then?”
“Because I like you, you big idiot!” you blurted out, frustrated.
“Y-you do?”
“Yes! I figured Sirius might have told you by now, or you might have heard it from the entire school who apparently knows and you’re the only one who’s still oblivious to it!”
“Well, to be honest, Sirius did say something but, I still wasn’t entirely sure that it was true-”
“Why, Remus? Why do you think it’s so impossible for me to be in love with you?”
“L-love? Did you just say love?” he asked, smiling.
“I uh-” you said, realizing you just let it slip. “Well, you said it first!”
“Well, yes, because it makes sense for me to be in love with you, but it doesn’t make sense for you to be in love with me!”
“What? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! Why?”
“Why? Oh, I don’t know, maybe we should discuss this on the next lunar phase” he said, muttering the last words.
“Oh, Merlin! Really? Is that what this is about?”
“For starters!” he argued. “Trust me, it would make a lot more sense if you liked Sirius! He’s handsome and always laughing, he’s funny and witty-”
“Remus, are you trying to tell me that I should be in love with Sirius? Or that you are in love with Sirius?” you smirked a little.
“That’s not what I meant!” he glared at you. “Look, I just… I never thought that someone like you would ever want to be with… someone like me” he muttered the last part.
“Wow, you really are an idiot, aren’t you?” you chuckled as Remus rolled his eyes.
“Why does everyone keep saying that?”
“Who called you an idiot?”
“Sirius!” he complained.
“Aw” you smiled. “Well, we can be two idiots in love, or you can just reject me again. It’s your move, Lupin” you told him.
Remus bit his bottom lip, trying to prevent his smirk from getting bigger. He walked closer to you and gently pulled you closer to him by your waist before he leaned down to press his lips against yours. You suddenly dropped all the candy you had in your hands and you quickly wrapped your arms around his shoulders.
“I choose two idiots in love” he smiled before kissing you once more.
“Good answer, Lupin” you smiled.
“Oh, I also wanted to ask” he said, grabbing your sweets and placing them in a basket. “If you’re not too busy if you… wanted to go on a date with me?”
“Well, I told Dorcas and Marlene I would go to the Three Broomsticks-”
“Yes, they are all waiting for us to get there” he informed you.
“Oh, okay, so that’s a no on the Three Broomsticks then” you said, as you walked over to pay for your things.
“I think that’s for the best” he smiled.
“Well then, it looks like my day is free” you said, as Remus held your hand when you walked out of Honeydukes.
He pulled you back a little and kissed you once more. “I really am sorry, love” he smiled.
“I know you are, Rem” you smiled back at him.
“So, does this mean you’ll keep me company on Quidditch matches?”
“If you’re there, I guess I can be there” you smiled as he kissed you again, neither of you noticing your group of friends looking at the two of you from the window at the pub across the street.
“Fucking finally” Sirius muttered, bumping Alice’s fist. 
The End
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A/N: hope you loves like it! Charlie's coming up next!
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lovelettersfromluna · 11 months
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Sweet Little Lies *ੈ✩‧₊˚
{Ellie Williams x Reader}
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Summary: Being on tour with someone you’ve been ignoring for two months is hard…but doable
an: AHHHHHH!!! I am so excited to finally give you guys the second part of The Perfect Girl! I can confidently say that the vibe of this one has been so much fun to write and think about ideas for, and it makes me so happy that you’ve been enjoying it! This one is pretty short, im sorry but! the next part will be longer, fluffier and much smuttier hehe. Anyways, I hope you guys like this part too. 🖤 (Also yes I know I posted this before the poll was up but y'all saw how it was going im sorry I am an impatient woman)
Warnings: 18+!!! Eventual smut, Ellie is selfish point blank period, reader is extremely sad, some making out but doesn't lead to much, ANGST!!!!, this one is pretty short so not many warnings hehe. let me know if I missed anything pleaseeee.
Part 1 can be read here!
The rest of the tour was…rough.
After the night at the club, the silent treatment that you had for Ellie had gone from simply ignoring her, to pretending like she didn’t even exist.
Shows were awkward, practice was awkward, being in a fucking band with her was awkward. Not to mention the very noticeable divide that it put between you and the other members.
The entire situation made it hard to talk to anyone. It made you feel extremely isolated, because you had convinced yourself that no one could possibly understand, especially not the other two men in your band, so you barely spoke to anyone.
In return of that, the other members found it hard to talk to Ellie. Because ever since you had pulled away, things were just no longer the same.
The late nights hanging out in someone’s hotel room stopped, partying after shows were done without you, and the only times anyone truly ever saw you was when you had to perform. When you were done, you’d quietly go back to your hotel room to sulk.
The tour ended that way, with you silently pulling all of your things from the back of the tour bus once you had returned home and catching a cab back to your apartment in the city, going against the tradition that you all had done every time when coming back home, which was going to your favorite local bar and trying to out drink each other before stumbling home in the cold.
So now, you were home, still ignoring everyone.
It was hard for you. Because the girl you’ve looked up to for so long, wanted for so long, had said such mean things about you. And you weren’t an idiot, because never for a second did you ever think that Ellie could ever want you the way that you wanted her, even when you were wrapped up in her arms at night, or when she whispered stupid jokes in your ear whenever you were sad, her lips ghosting over your skin, you never once thought that you could have her. Because you weren’t a kid with a great big imagination, with hopes and dreams that you’d one day be swept off of your feet by her.
You knew deep down that it would never work out, and you were okay with that. You had long accepted that your love was unrequited, and as much as it hurt you to see her date girls she’d only known for a few weeks, and fuck countless groupies every night, you never let it get to you.
But hearing her say what she said, hearing those words fall from her pretty lips….it was like something was eating you from the inside out, and the love that you had for Ellie couldn’t outweigh the pain that she brought you.
And you couldn’t fucking do it anymore.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
The decision you had made didn’t come without heartache. You cried, you screamed, you threw things, ruining your room entirely, your rage and sadness burned you so deeply, because in all of this you still blamed yourself, and not her.
It had been almost a month since you got back from tour, and you could count on your hands how many times you left your apartment. Dylan and Charlie came by the visit a few times, and their apologetic smiles somehow pissed you off even further, because it made you feel small and frail, like you’d never be able to come back from this on your own.
You appreciated them, and you enjoyed the times they were around because it gave you an out from thinking about Ellie.
But all good things would come to an end.
That’s how you found yourself at Dylan’s apartment. He was shocked when you showed up, having not seen you outside of your apartment in who knows how long.
He knew that whatever it was you were there for, was serious.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ellie felt like she was seeing red.
She slammed the door to her car once she arrived at your apartment building, her nostrils flaring as she breathed hard. She couldn’t even stop for a moment to think about what she was doing, or if you’d even be home.
But after her phone call with Dylan, she didn’t care. She needed to see you.
After tour had ended, she had found her way to your place a few times. The first time she had a bouquet of red roses gripped between her hand, which after 10 minutes of standing outside your door, she took home and threw in the trash. The second time she came by with a box of cookies from your favorite bakery, which she ended up angrily shoving into Charlie’s chest when she came back home and he was at her apartment waiting for her to teach him a new guitar riff. The third time she simply slipped a hand written note under your door about how sorry she was, which you had promptly ripped up once you saw the small ‘from: Ellie :’)’ written on the front.
That was the last time she had showed up, figuring that you’d come around whenever you had cooled down from the entire situation. What she didn’t expect though, was for it to go on for months after tour had ended.
But she was done, she was over this and she was over you ignoring her.
She knocked on your door loudly, staring knuckles banging on the wood of your front door, making you frown as the loud noise echoed throughout your apartment. You sighed, opening the door harshly.
“I told you I didn’t want one of your fucking pamphlets! If you don’t leave I’m calling the fucking-“ your words were cut off, eyes going wide as you looked up and caught eye of Ellie.
A very angry Ellie.
You sighed tiredly, already trying to close the door on her. “Go home Ellie…” you mumbled out. But her palm was pressing against your door and stopping you from closing it on her.
“You’re quitting the fucking band?” Her voice is harsh, and her words make you freeze as you stop pushing your door closed.
You figured word would’ve gotten out sooner or later…you just preferred later rather than sooner.
You let out a sigh, one of your hands coming up to tuck a strand of your hair back before you give her a half shrug. “I told Dylan not to tell you until the end of the month..” you mumble out, your eyes staring at your sock clad feet.
The second you confirm it, you’re confirming Ellie’s greatest nightmare, and she’s pushing past you and walking into your apartment before you can even tell her that you don’t want her in that, and that she needed to leave.
There’s no use in fighting her, because she’s already there and she’s clearly very pissed off, so you simply close your door behind you and lock it. You figure that if this is the last conversation you’ll have with Ellie, it might as well be this one.
Ellie is pacing back and forth in your small living room, hands in her hips as she tries to get a grip of everything that she’s learned within the past few hours. She wants it to be a lie, she wanted to come to your apartment and have you tell her it was all a prank, and she’d finally hear that pretty laugh of yours when you too made up and cuddled on your couch.
But you weren’t, you weren’t giving Ellie any of that and it made her feel even more pissed off.
“Ellie…” you mumbled softly, reaching out and trying to grab her arm gently, trying to calm the girl down so you could explain.
Ellie pulled her arm away the second you tried reaching out for her. The soft tone of yours was all she had wanted for the last three months, hearing the way you’d soothe her when she became too consumed in her feelings.
But Ellie felt betrayed, she felt like she was being left behind, like you were throwing her away and leaving her like everyone else did.
You were abandoning her.
“No! Are you fucking kidding me? You don’t talk to me for three months and the first thing I hear about you doesn’t even come directly from you? You didn’t even have the fucking decency to sit us down and tell all of us…you told Dylan and you had him deliver your message to us like he’s your fucking bitch” she spat.
You knew she was mad, you knew she’d come to your apartment in a rage when she found out. You had prepared for it, you prepared for all the nasty things Ellie would say to you.
But you didn’t expect any of this..
You inhaled deeply, trying your best not to let her words affect you.
“Look, Ellie…I just…it took me a long time to figure out what I needed to do to feel better. I don’t…it just isn’t working for me anymore-“ she cut you off, her hurtful words coming back with a vengeance.
“Bull fucking shit.” She spits out, and her tone is enough to make you flinch. Her words are cutting into you just like they had that night in her hotel room, and you’re trying to find something in you to not lose your fucking mind right now.
“You’re leaving because of me, because of something I said. You’re…you’re leaving behind something fucking amazing because I hurt your feelings. I don’t know how many times I have to say it! But I’m fucking sorry! Okay? I feel awful for what I said and I wish I could take it back but I can’t, and I’m sorry, but you’re being weak for leaving because of it” she yells out.
And everything stops….because all you can hear from anything shes just said…
Is that you, are weak.
And it’s like some sort of fucking phenomenon or something, because you suddenly feel like you’re being transported to that night, and you’re standing behind a wall, listening to Ellie laugh about how…how fucking unwanted you are.
And you don’t hold back anymore. You’re done holding back.
“Yes Ellie, are you even listening to yourself right now? Have you for one fucking second not been a selfish asshole to think about how any of this has affected me?” Your voice is tired, and it sounds like you’ve been internally fighting with yourself to keep these words inside.
“You hurt me Ellie! If you’re so sorry you said those things, then why did you fucking say them? Is it so hard to just say you don’t see me that way? To be a sensible human fucking being and not trying to dig me into a deeper hole than you already fucking have?” Your voice is growing louder and louder, and you’re slowly closing the space between the both of you as you shout at her.
When you’re right in front of her, your chest almost pressed against hers, your voice is quiet, and it almost sounds like you’re whispering to her for a moment.
“I never once believed that you could ever want me…but saying the things that you said about me, and then sabotaging me whenever I’m trying to live my fucking life…I can’t do it anymore Ellie…I can’t be around you anymore..”
Ellie almost fucking whimpers, because the tone of your voice is nearly enough to bring her to tears.
You aren’t even fighting anymore, you’re just tired. You’re practically begging her to let you go because she’s just held you in her hands for too long, never giving you the chance to grow and become something more than what you are.
Ellie feels it, just by the look in your eyes, she can feel that this will be the last chance she has to tell you, to come clean and stop lying to herself and to you.
Shes being given one last chance, so she knows she can’t mess it up.
“I’m in love with you.” She deadpans.
You roll your eyes, walking away from the girl. You had no time for games, and that surely meant Ellie falsely confessing her love for you just to keep you in the band.
You nodded your head towards your door as you watched her. “Nice try Ellie. I’m sure you’ll be able to charm some other girl enough to replace me as lead singer by the end of the month. It’s time for you to go” you sigh out.
And Ellie is practically whining as she makes her way over to you, towering over you as she pleads.
“I…I’m not lying…fuck id never lie about this. Leave the band if you want, I don’t care, I just…” she grabs your hand, bringing it up to lay over her heart as she sighs “I need you to know how sorry I am..and how I feel about you…” she sighs out.
Your eyebrows were furrowed as you looked down at your hand pressed against her chest, rolling your eyes as you used the placement to push her away from you.
“Ellie, cut it out. Seriously. I heard what you said about me, I heard all of it. Im not your type, remember? I look like a kicked puppy everytime you’re with another girl” you sighed out as you pushed past her, walking off into your living room before plopping onto the couch with a loud huff.
Ellie was groaning softly, hearing her own words being relayed to her in your voice made her heart break even more than it had before. She followed behind you, sitting on the couch and reaching for you.
“I..I didn’t mean any of that! I panicked!” her words catch your attention, but she groans when she sees the unamused look you’re giving her.
“I swear…just…” She tried, pleading for just a bit of your time before she was getting on her knees in front of you, pushing your legs apart so that her body was pressed against the edge of the couch, and you had no choice but to look at her.
“I’m an idiot, okay? The last thing I wanted was for Charlie and Dylan to tease me about having a massive fucking crush on you…I just…you’re too good for me, I’m not…I know that you deserve better than me…but I can’t help the way I feel about you. It eats away at me at night and it makes it hard to sleep and it doesn’t stop unless you’re around” She rambled, her eyebrows knitted together as she spoke.
Her closeness made your cheeks burn red, and you tried to keep your face down because you knew the longer you’d look into her eyes, the easier it would be for her to make you fold. You frowned as you shook your head, and before you could even speak, she was already talking.
“Please…please I’m so sorry baby…it’s killing me…not being with you is fucking killing me. I’ll leave the band, I’ll pack up and you can find a new guitarist to take my place just..” her words died down, and her fingers were placed gently under your chin to force you to look at her, and you almost lost your breath because..
Ellie was crying.
And not only was Ellie crying, but Ellie was crying for you.
Her green eyes were rimmed red, and her eyelashes were clumping together, and your insides twisted because all you wanted to do was to hold her, pull her into your chest and tell her that it was okay, that you were okay, and that you could be together.
But you couldn’t. Not after what she did.
“Ellie I…I can’t…” you mumbled softly. You opened your mouth to explain further, but you found that you couldn’t speak.
Because Ellie’s like were pressed firmly against yours.
Her long fingers were cupping either side of your face, keeping you close as her lips moved against yours. You gasped softly, trying to break away from her, but she used it as an opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth, and from that point on, you melted into her completely.
You moaned softly, and Ellie was already pushing you back to lay against the couch, her body hovering over yours as she kissed you so deeply, so passionately, you could feel all of the love she had for you seeping into your mouth.
It felt amazing, having you pressed up against her, whining into her mouth and breathlessly begging for more. It was like every dream Ellie had ever had of you was finally coming true…
But she couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that came with it.
If this is what Ellie had always wanted, why was it that she felt like she was doing something wrong? Why did it loom over her like a dark cloud, soaking into her core and making her feel terrible about doing this to you…distracting you from everything she’s done with sweet kisses and breathy moans.
She wanted it…god she wanted it more than anything
But this wasn’t right.
She furrowed her eyebrows as she gripped your waist, moaning softly as she pulled away from you. You frown in confusion, staring up at her and searching for what might be wrong, what you had done to make her stop.
“What? What is it Els?” And Ellie swears she’s never heard something so sweet, the nickname you had for her like the sweetest melody she’d ever heard.
She sighed, gently pulling away from you as she shook her head. “This isn’t right…” she mumbled softly. She sits down across from you, her legs spread with her elbows resting on her knees, hunched over a bit.
You frown as you watch her, sitting up and adjusting your tank top, suddenly feeling extremely exposed underneath the girls presence. “Do you…not want me?” You mumble softly. Ellie’s eyes are nearly bulging out of her head as she quickly turns to you, grabbing your face and pulling you close as she shakes her head quickly.
“No! God no I….you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of angel…it’s just…” she sighs, her voice raspy before she starts again. “This isn’t how this is supposed to go…you’re worth so much more than what I’ve given to you…I’ve been mean, and selfish and...And I come here expecting you to just forgive me and...and give yourself to me and...it isn't right.." She sighs out. You pout softly as you listen to her, and you are suddenly remembering all of the things that Ellie said, and you can't help but agree that the wounds are still fresh.
She notices how deep in thought you are, and she uses her strong hands to grip your thighs and pull you so you're straddling her lap. She licks her lips, her hands toying with the plush skin of your thighs as you both stay there for a moment, before she breaks the silence.
"Im not going to convince you that you need to stay in the band...if you really want to leave, thats your decision..but..." She sighs softly.
"Let me prove to you that you're what I want...give me one chance to do this the right way, and I promise princess...you won't regret it.." Her voice is raspy, and it reminds you of all the times she would talk to you while you both laid in bed together and you couldn't sleep. It reminds you of all the times Ellie called you on the phone in the middle night, too high and too needy, just so she could hear your voice.
And it reminds you of how in love you are with Ellie Williams..
Your hands slowly go to rest on her shoulders, your fingers toying with the ends of her hair at the nape of her neck, and you can swear you can see the girl visibly glow the second you give her a nod. In an instant, she's pulling you closer and pressing kisses to your neck, in spots that she knows you're extremely ticklish at. You nudge her gently to stop before you both settle down.
"Thank you angel...I promise...I'll do right by you.." She mumbles softly, her pretty green eyes staring at your plush lips before she leans in, pressing the softest, most gentle kiss to them, almost as if she were afraid she'd break you all over again.
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hajiberry · 5 months
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3:56 am - Katsuki bakugou
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domestic fluff + pregnancy
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Bakugou would give anything right now to switch quirks with someone and be able to teleport home. He feared he might explode if he spent one more moment in this car.The thirty five minute drive from the airport was starting to feel like an eternity and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand it. He knew he was in for a headache when his connecting flight got delayed, getting him home hours after he had planned on arriving. Glancing out kirishimas passenger window he started counting down the seconds till he could see you. He hated when missions took him away from home but this one was extremely difficult, considering you could go into labor any day now. He had felt like a maniac the whole trip, constantly calling to make sure you weren’t at the hospital moments away from giving birth.
Opening his eyes he was about to ask how much fucking longer when the car pulled into the neighborhood and two seconds later Kirishima was pulling into y’all’s driveway. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever been happier to see the home the two of you shared. “Fuck it’s good to be home”, he mumbled, stretching out his limbs before sitting up. “Thanks for picking me up”, leaning back he grabbed his luggage, hauling it over before opening the door.
“Yeah of course man tell y/n I said hi”
“Will do”, closing the passenger door he gave him a wave before heading up the driveway. Selfishly he was hoping you were still awake, so he could at least sneak in a kiss and an ‘I missed you’, before drifting off to sleep. But he also knew you’ve been struggling with sleeping lately so he was hoping you at least were getting some rest.
Opening the front door he smiled at all the packages littered in the foyer, boxes that he assumed were filled with baby stuff. He kicked his shoes off before making his way up the stairs to your bedroom. Opening the door he smiled when he saw your sleeping figure curled up in the bed. Setting his bag down he made his way over to you, kneeling down in front of you to press a kiss to your forehead before moving his attention to your belly. “I missed our little chats buddy”, he still was baffled at how much he missed talking to his unborn child. “I’m back though, I had to go out of town for work but that’s the last trip for a while so I definitely won’t miss you being born”
“Thank god”, you mumbled, slightly startling him.
“Fuck I didn’t know you were awake”
“I’ve been in and out of sleep for the past hour”, sitting up slightly you gave him a tired smile. “How was your flight?”
“Awful”, leaning forward he pressed his lips against yours, “just glad to be home”
“Glad to have you home”, wrapping your arms around his neck you littered a few kisses on his cheek. “It always sucks when you’re gone but this time just really fucking sucked”
“I’m sorry”, he mumbled as he started kissing you again, “not leaving on a mission like that again anytime soon”
“Good or I’d have to make a phone call”, you said with barely any bite in your words.
Chuckling, he stood up, pulling off his clothes to get ready to hop in the shower, “how terrifying”
“I know right”, standing up, you followed him into the bathroom, sitting on the toilet while he got in the shower.
“Go to sleep I’ll be in bed in a minute”, he said over his shoulder as he stepped under the hot water.
“I wanna hear about your trip”, the sleep that laced your voice caused him to smile.
“Well you’ll get a kick out of this but apparently icy hots dating someone”
Gasping, you pulled the shower curtain back a little bit, mouth wide open. “No way”
“Yup, deku was filling me in on the plane ride there”, he wasn’t sure when he started pocketing away stuff that was going on in his friends lives so that he could fill you in on the gossip but he wasn’t mad about it.
“So he’s keeping it quiet I’m assuming”
“Mhm only the nerd knows”
“Cause he snooped?”
“Yup”
“Well now I have to invite shouto over for dinner”
“What? Like he’s gonna tell you?”
“Everyone eventually caves and tells me”, he couldn’t even argue with that statement.
“But the trip itself was fine just standard shit”, turning the water off he stepped out, grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist.
“Well I missed you”, smiling down at you he leaned in to press a kiss to your forehead.
“I know I missed you too”, resting his hand on your belly he gave you a tired but genuine smile. “Let’s get you in bed though”
“Me? You’re the one that’s been traveling all day”, you said, standing up to follow him into your bedroom.
“But you’re growing a baby which I assume is a little more exhausting”
“Can’t argue with that but let’s just say we’re both tired”, you said with a yawn before laying down on your side of the bed.
After quickly throwing his boxers on he climbed into bed with you, wrapping his arms around you. “Wanna grab breakfast in the morning?”, he asked softly, a volume of his voice only you got to hear.
“Of course I do”, smiling you pressed a kiss to his cheek, “I’m so glad he waited till you got home”
“Me fucking too”
Letting out a sigh of contentment you closed your eyes, finally being able to let yourself sleep.
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kiestrokes · 6 months
Note
Omg so I can't stop thinking about high sex with ateez like ive been so insatiably horny everything I've smoked or had an edible I just AHHH i just want dick so bad
Stoned Sex with ATEEZ | NSFW
Pairing: ATEEZ x Reader/You/Yn (vagina pov) Rating: NSFW. Mature (18+) Minors DNI. Genre: headcanon, imagine, smut. Warnings: cannabis use (obviously), in theory both parties are high, so it is mutual, everyone is consenting, established relationship vibes.
Sexually Explicit Content: mentions of subspace, morning sex, rough sex, deep sex, feral (idk at this point just proceed with caution if you're just a vanilla person), rough touches, kissing, biting, cockwarming, oral (f receiving), humping, thigh fucking, surprise orgasm, orgasms.
🗝️ Note: let me know if I missed anything for the warnings, I am not really here in the realm of proof reading. Sorry, this took me a while to get to my atiny anon, hope it's enough to hold you over until you make it to a dick appt!
Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted here. 
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Park Seonghwa Hwa appears unassuming, the two of you go through the usual nightly routine but once he's got you in the bed things shift. He's a needy cat, pawing across your body, you fit snug against his hips as he rocks softly into you from behind, moaning about how soft and plush your skin is when he's like this. He doesn't want to be inside you, just nestled between your thighs from behind as his slim fingers play your clit like an instrument, stroking moans out of your body with each pluck.
Kim Hongjoong High Joong gives me feral vibes...HJ is usually so reserved. But something about the THC sends his brain into overdrive. Hongjoong can't keep his mouth off of you. It's everywhere, until it's finally exactly where you need. Between your thighs. He's rocking his hips restlessly into the end of the mattress at each squirm and thrust of you pelvis against his chin.
Jeong Yunho He is probably the most aware while high, the only thing is his grip is a little stronger than normal. Yunho basically wants to embed himself in your body. For his hands to become one with your thighs. You wake up with lovely handprints in the morning reminding you of him.
Kang Yeosang I feel like stoned sex with Yeo is going to be soft, like how Hwa talks about him being cute drunk. He's whiney and very vocally appreciative of you and your body. It's slow and maybe a little intense, missionary with you rolling on top. Yeo loses it when you press him down into the bed. He dissolves a little into subspace when he's high.
Choi San guys (non-gendered) I am so sorry but THIS man, he falls asleep before anything can actually happen. He sleepily stokes your fire, but you're left finishing the job yourself. Sorry to my San biases, I wish I felt different about this one too. He's just a sleepy man. Definitely wakes you up in the morning for some slowww, drawn out sex. He's intense from how he gazes at you to the lingering pace at which he fucks you.
Song Mingi High Mings becomes big and pliable. He's also whiney and vocal like Yeosang, but a little less articulate. Mingi wants to spoon you, which quickly escalates into something else. His hands are all over you, drifting across your body. Crushing you into his lap as he tries to bury himself in you, deeper and deeper with each thrust. The two of you fall asleep with him still inside (rip you with that uti later).
Jung Wooyoung Feral like his hyung...this guy. He can’t get enough of anything. His skin feels like it’s on fire. He wants to be melted to you. Your lips, tongue, it’s drawn-out sex because he doesn’t want it to end. You're overstimulated in the best way possible; every nerve ending is firing.
Choi Jongho Is giggly. I can just FEEL it. Jongho is laughing but also giving you that intense gaze and each touch is purposeful. You're so keyed up from the laughter and foreplay that your giddiness spills over into a quick and extreme orgasm that takes you both by surprise. Jongho has never come so quickly, and you sure as hell never have.
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© COPYRIGHT 2023 by kiestrokes All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.
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theodore nott nsfw headcannons!!
nsfw 18+, minors dni (or do i cant stop yall)
warnings: implied sex, oral sex (both receiving), hair pulling, choking, dirty talk, p in v, praising and degrading, slight begging, possible more (pls tell me if i missed anything)
side note: italics are like flashback typa things idk what to call them lol
a/n: i was bad grammar and i make a lot of typos, i proofread it but if you find anything i’m sorry, it’s like 12 am rn and i can’t sleep lol also bare with me and the translations i used google.
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miscellaneous
he LOVES giving you neck kisses, and leaving hickeys all over you, he wants everybody to know your his.
this man is a pussy eating god, not only does he live eating you out, he’s absurdly good at it, he loves the way he has to push your thighs back open when ever he lets out a throaty moan, sending vibrations right through your core.
he is horny 24/7 his sex drive is actually crazy, he go for rounds. he loves it when you start getting overstimulated. “please theo, i can’t,“ you whine, legs closing around his waist. “shh, it’s okay amore mio, just one more for me” he coos as he thrusts into you, his cock hitting your cervix making you let out a string of whimpers and moans. “fuck, quei gemiti sono così sexy, tesoro” (translation: those moans are so sexy, baby)
whenever he is giving or receiving head, there is always a common factor. hair pulling. whether it’s the way you tug and pull on his hair while he eats you out makes him go absolutely feral or if it’s the way he grips your hair, thrusting up into your mouth as he moans, either way he loves it.
he is 1000% a tits man. god he loves your boobs so fucking much. he loves touching them, squeezing them, anything, whether you’re fucking or even just cuddling (really doesn’t seem like a theo thing but he just loves being close to you and touching you)
he likes being rough, especially after losing a quidditch match or when someone flirts with you. he’s extremely jealous and he knows it. he loves hearing the way you beg him to let you cum. “please, theo, i’m gonna- fuck” you moan, your hips bucking up. you expected him to push them back down but he doesn’t, he just smiles smugly down at you “c’mon good girl, cum for me”
even if you weren’t together yet you were still his.
he has a thing for hickeys, he just loves the way you look with hickeys littering your neck and collarbones, leading down towards your chest. he thinks you look absolutely amazing with his hand wrapped around your neck, as he fucks you senselessly.
he definitely has a hair pulling kink.
he loves it when you call him teddy, it drives him fucking crazy.
he loves praising you and letting you know how much pleasure you bring him but on that note he also liked degrading, but he mostly degrades when he’d being rougher.
whenever he’s being rough with you and choking you he is always super gentle, making sure you can still breath, and that your okay.
——————————————————————————
sorry it’s so short, i’m at school rn lol and i don’t want my ohine to get taken lol
— juelz.
289 notes · View notes
farfromstrange · 3 months
Note
Sub!matt idea. Sensory deprivation.
It can be common as a way of control, heighten the experiance or even to help calm and sooth to blindfold your partner and make them rely on other senses. But for Matt he already has this to the extreme which can be distracting able to hear three blocks away when all he wants to focus on is you his world in this moment.
After a day of honestly tiring input he just asks for you to take over he somtimes does that wanting someone else to control him for a while and he trusts you. And trusts you enough to fuck you with his hearing either gone or reduced only able to feel, smell and taste you which is more then enough. Esspecially when you focus on the touch lavishing his body with sensory your hands never off him roaming, soothing holding. Your lips almost always on him kissing, sucking biting anything to elicit the sweet groans of him. He keeps a hand on your chest or throat not controlling but to be able to sense your rumbling groans and soft sighs feel the uptick in your heart rate as he focuses on you and only you
I am SO sorry that this took so long! And when I finally started writing it, I got carried away, so it took me two whole days to finish. But I wanted it to be good enough after I left you hanging.
On that note, your smutty thoughts make me feral!! Not gonna lie, I sat in my lecture the other day and I couldn't stop thinking about this, which is why this turned out to be over 4k words. On this page, we celebrate sub!Matt and all that comes with him!
Thank you so much for your request, and I hope I could do it justice <3
Sensory Deprivation | Matt Murdock x afab!Reader
Masterlist
Pairing: Matt Murdock x afab!Reader
Summary: The world tends to get a bit loud, but thankfully, you're there to help Matt focus.
Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI), sub!Matt, use of "good boy", oral m!receiving, swallowing, use of earplugs (sensory deprivation), Matt's catholic guilt, slight blasphemy, (almost) coming untouched, mention & use of safe word/action
Word Count: 4.4k
A/n: I'm so horny for this man, I can't function. Also, even though I did proofread this, I'm not sure if I missed any mistakes. My brain doesn't function as well as it used to. I'm sorry in advance.
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More than anyone in this world, Matt believes he has to function, always, and without exceptions. He believes that he has to be useful, always doing something and never resting. His heightened senses make it impossible for him to turn his back on even the most minuscule cases of injustice, and he still beats himself up time and time again because he can’t be everywhere at once. He hears everything, smells everything, and feels the despair in the air, but in the end, he can’t take on the weight of the world all by himself. 
Ever since he met you, you have become his reprieve. You’re the haven he returns home to when everything gets just a little too much. When his senses are flooded and his heart is heavy. He crawls to you when he’s wounded, and he would crawl to you if he only had a few more minutes to live. You’re the first person he thinks of when he wakes up, and the last person he thinks of when he goes to sleep at night, preferably holding you in his arms to make sure that you won’t slip away from him. In you, he has found someone who would never judge him for who he is. Someone who will always stand by his side proudly, and someone who will hold him when he’s at his weakest. And he has been hanging off the edge of his breaking point for quite some time, holding on for dear life.
You can tell Matt must have had an awful day from the second the key turns in the lock to your shared apartment. His feet drag over the wooden floorboards as he makes his way inside. You look up from your book. 
Matt takes a deep breath, dropping his bag by the door. His shoulders are tense. He folds his cane, places it aside, and removes the red glasses you’ve grown to love—but you don’t nearly love them as much as his beautiful brown eyes, the green specks so distinctive, you could recognize them anywhere.
“Rough day?” you ask. 
He opens the first button of his dress shirt with shaky fingers. “Yeah. I don’t wanna talk about it,” he says. 
He hasn’t said hi to you like he usually would. Tonight seems to be one of those nights again. You know Matt well enough to pick up on the subtle clues in his behavior. He’s overwhelmed, possibly even anxious, and the weight he always carries on his shoulders is threatening to crush him. He’s walking a very thin tightrope, and he’s about to fall off. 
You place your book on the coffee table and straighten up. He rounds the couch you’re sitting on, his unfocused eyes searching for you. Your heartbeat resonates in his ears. Your breathing is regular. You’re calm. You’re his rock. You won’t let him drown, no matter how strong the current is that is dragging him down. 
Raising your eyebrows, you look up at him when he stops right in front of you. “No hello kiss?” you dare to ask. It’s a soft question, a little teasing, but he knows you mean well. 
Matt shakes his head. As soon as he breathes you in, he’s done for. His brain cells fry on the electric chair of his mind. His heart starts beating up to his throat. You’re so close yet so far away. You smell incredible; you must have showered after work, and then you sat down with your favorite tea and read your favorite book while waiting for him so you could have dinner together. You’re so considerate, you even used his scentless soap so all he would be able to smell is your natural scent. You consume him. The city moves into the background, and the bricks are about to fall off his shoulders. He’s close to collapsing, falling on his knees and begging you to take control to just make him forget, but he isn’t quite there yet.
A car honks in the distance. The night is calling for him. His hand clenches into a fist at his side while the other rests flat against his thigh. 
You slowly rise from your position. “Matthew,” you breathe his name like a siren. “What do you need?”
He sniffs. His fingers twitch. He has to go out, but he can’t. You envelop him in a bubble, and it makes him feel like he isn’t alone. Like he isn’t trapped. Like he can finally let go after holding on for so long. 
“Talk to me,” you say. 
His tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip. “There was so much noise,” Matt whispers back. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t focus. I’m trying to stay in control, but I can’t focus, and—” He breaks off into a shaky sigh. 
You chase his eyes; they’re glossed over. You reach out to tilt his chin in your direction. His eyes flutter closed. A stray tear slips down his cheek. It’s a tear stemming from months of exhaustion, physical pain, and emotional turmoil. He tried to push through, but he’s arrived at a point of no return. He’s breaking, and you’re the only one capable of catching him. 
After another deep breath, Matt’s eyes open again. “You’re here,” his voice is still barely above a whisper, but the smile that starts to grow on his lips speaks the language of relief. 
“I’m always here,” you answer. 
“You keep me sane.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been distant.”
“I also know that, but it doesn’t matter. I know how hard it is for you. If you need to be distant for a while and then blow off some steam, I’m okay with it.”
He shudders when your fingers brush his cheek. The faint bruise underneath his eye has turned green. You trace the injury with gentle fingertips. 
“What did I do to deserve you?” he says. 
You smile back at him, knowing he can feel it, and you guide him toward your face. “You exist,” you tell him. “That’s enough for you to deserve me.”
His nose brushes against yours, but before his lips can meet yours, he stops. He inhales your scent. He feels your pulse under his fingers from where he’s wrapped them around your wrist. Your skin feels so soft against his. He’s no longer on fire. The world is no longer on fire. He can let go. He wants to know that it’s okay to let go, but the voice in his head is telling him to stop. The crossroads he finds himself at won’t let him leave in the direction he wants to go. 
You can feel his inner turmoil. He’s holding back. He always does so. You’ve been together for what feels like forever, and he still doesn’t know how to ask for what he wants. What he needs. What he deserves. You told him to be primal when he needs to be. You told him to admit when you need to take over. He never does it out of his own free will. He waits until you force him into submission. 
Tonight should be the night he finally tells you. Matt needs to learn that his needs matter just as much as yours. His catholicism can go to hell for all you care. 
“I need—” He swallows. “I-I need t—”
“Go ahead,” you urge him. 
“Ugh,” the sound resembles a broken growl. And then, the barriers finally break. “I need you to take over,” he begs. “I need you to help me breathe again, sweetheart. Please. I need you.”
God, he sounds so wrecked. 
“You want me to take control?” you ask to clarify. 
He nods. “Yes.”
“Okay. Good boy. I can do that.”
Matt’s lips part in a weak whimper in response to your praise. Calling him a ‘good boy’ always has the same welcome effect. You don’t even have to look down to know that his cock is slowly swelling in his slacks. 
All the blood has rushed from his head and his beautiful rosy, stubbly cheeks to his groin. It doesn’t take much to turn him on, especially not in his current state—especially not if it’s you.
Hearing him admit that he needs you like this makes you feel a myriad of emotions. You want to take care of him, you want to love him, and you want to give him a moment of peace amongst the constant chaos, but there is also something so arousingly erotic about the way he begs for you to take control that makes your thighs clench. 
Often enough, he is the one taking care of you. Matt is a giver, not a taker. He always puts you first, but on some days, he just can’t bear it anymore. And you couldn’t possibly ask him to take charge in bed in his current state. It would break him. He’s a vulnerable man, whether he likes to admit it or not, and he can be as fragile as an ancient vase. You have to handle him with care on those days, which is all you intend to do as you guide him to your shared bedroom. 
You gently urge him to sit down on the bed. “Do you trust me?” you ask. 
His unfocused eyes flick from one side to the other. “Always,” he breathes out. 
“Good. Lie back for me. I’m going to take such good care of you, I promise.”
He would never doubt that. 
You climb into his lap, and finally, you kiss him. His lips part slightly in a desperate groan. Before he can slide his tongue into your mouth though, you pull away. His grabby hands are already resting on your hips, wandering, and wandering, and…
“Nuh-uh,” you tell him, taking hold of his calloused fingers and placing them on your upper thighs. “Patience, baby.”
“Please,” Matt begs. You love it when he begs. He’s completely putty in your hands. You could tell him to get on his knees and pray, and he would, no matter how blasphemous it may be. 
He’s holding onto you for dear life. You place his hand against the left side of your chest, allowing him to feel your heartbeat. He isn’t leaving you cold. He never does. Alone the sight of him is enough to make your thighs clench with need, but straddling him, you can’t get the friction you need. 
You reach for the nightstand to your right, opening the drawer. You know exactly what he needs. “Turn your head for me,” you murmur. 
Matt follows your instructions without questioning them. Finally finding what you were looking for, you retrieve the earplugs from the bedside drawer. This isn’t the first time you have used them on him, or he has used them on you. The specific brand renders you almost entirely deaf and renders Matt’s enhanced hearing almost to an entirely normal level.
You gently put the first plug into his left ear, then the other into his right. Before you push it in though, you ask, “Do you remember our safeword?” 
He nods. “Red,” he says. 
“Good boy. And when you can’t speak?”
“Tap your wrist three times.” His lips curl up into a weak smile. “Usually, I’m the one asking you that.” 
“Not tonight, you aren’t. May I put this in now?” You tap the earplug.
He nods again. It’s all the confirmation you need before inserting it, reducing his hearing completely. He lets out a sigh of relief. He closes his eyes, and you know he’s trying not to cry. 
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” you ask, cradling his cheek. His stubble scratches your fingertips, but it’s a welcome pain. 
He can still hear what you’re saying, feel the vibrations in your chest from where his hand is resting, and he smells you so much clearer now that he no longer has to listen to the city screaming at him in the background. Your arousal gets stuck to the tiny hairs in his nose, and he inhales sharply. Every nerve in his body is on fire. 
Matt moans. His tongue darts out, tasting the air. For a moment, he forgets that you just asked for his consent. Everything is so much more intense, yet it isn’t nearly enough. 
“Matthew,” you nudge him. “Talk to me.”
“Yes,” he whispers. At least he thinks he’s whispering. 
You smile, seemingly satisfied with his answer, and then you lean down to kiss him again. This time, you let him push his tongue into your mouth, tasting you, feeling you, and consuming all of you. He wants every ounce of you ingrained in his mind forever. 
His hands slide under your shirt, feeling the warmth of your skin. His focus is on you entirely. You help him take the pesky piece of fabric off, followed by his own. He’s suddenly so hot. 
Your teeth clash when you kiss. His cock is hard as a rock, pressing against his lower abdomen. You can feel it between your thighs. It must be painful for him. 
His kisses trail from your mouth, down your neck. He tastes the salt on your skin. Your pulse jumps as he drags his tongue over the vein. It’s a primal need. He needs to mark you. He needs to taste you, all of you, and make you his for all the world to see. An animalistic growl escapes his lips. His teeth dig into your skin. He nibbles just enough to make you moan, your chest vibrating underneath his hand. Matt doesn’t even hesitate to grab a handful of your breast, tugging at your sensitive nipple until it’s stiff enough to rival his aching cock. 
You throw your head back, your jaw slack, and he uses the newfound space to kiss down to your collarbone. You’re going to be purple and bruised tomorrow, but you don’t care. 
With a demanding grip on his hair that pulls at his scalp and causes him to groan against your shoulder, you push his head toward your chest. He isn’t in control, you are, and you know how much he loves to please you. 
Like a man starving, he sucks your nipple into his mouth. No, it’s not just your nipple. He takes as much as he can into his mouth, his teeth grazing the sensitive nub only momentarily before he moves on to the rest of your silky skin. 
You moan. You have to let him know that you’re enjoying yourself. He feels the sound deep within your chest from where his hand is resting, and the way your breast moves slightly when you moan. Matt only becomes more eager when he feels and smells what he’s doing to you. 
The scent of you is addicting. Your arousal smells slightly sour, sometimes slightly metallic, but most of all, it is you. And when he tastes your essence on the tip of his tongue without even licking at your slick folds because you are simply that wet, it makes him feral with this insanely primal need to have you. 
He wants to spread you out before him and taste you until you’re coming all over his face. Though today, he is too weak to keep you restrained to the mattress. Matt takes what he can get, what you are willing to give him, and he does so eagerly, like the good boy that he wants to be for you. 
With the world silenced, he can focus on you. The way your heart is hammering against your ribcage, right against his palm. The way your chest heaves with every labored breath you take as he sucks and sucks at your breast until your nipple is beyond swollen. He can feel how smooth your skin is, smell the remnants of your body lotion that he sometimes steals so he can smell you everywhere he goes, and the slight sheen of sweat that has started to cover your body from head to toe. And he can smell your arousal so thick in the air, his cock jumps at the mere thought of sinking into your tight walls—of being completely consumed by you, body and soul. He doesn’t need to hear right now, all he needs to do is feel you. 
You know about his desperate urge to please. You know that, even while you’re in charge, he wants nothing more than to make you feel good. Matt is anything but selfish. But his selflessness doesn’t have a place in this bedroom tonight. 
As crazy as his mouth on your breasts is driving you into an oblivion of pure ecstasy, your walls clenching around nothing, you find it in yourself to pull him away. 
With his eyes hooded, he looks so delicious. His cock is still straining against his lower abdomen in his underwear. When you pull him away, his expression reads offense. You can’t help but snicker. 
“Did you think I’d let you make this about me?” you say just loud enough for the sound to reach through the earplugs. 
He exhales. “I was praying,” he says. 
Praying. He is too far gone to realize. There are sides to Matt Murdock you love more than others, and when he becomes blasphemous, it does things to you. This good catholic boy turns into mush when you just touch him, and then you are his God. You’re who he wants to worship, and he would pray to you, worship at the altar of your body, and drink your essence like holy water if it meant being all over you and inside of you. And you take your position very seriously. 
He trusts you. That is not a small feat. He trusts you with his body and soul, and he trusts you with the most vulnerable parts of him, be it in bed or merely a hug after a bad day. You know what he needs, and he trusts you to take care of him. He wouldn’t let just anyone do what you do to him.
“What were you praying for?” you ask him. 
“You,” he whispers. 
“You can have me, but first… focus.”
He told you he was losing focus because the world was far too late, so with the noise reduced, you will help him focus on something other than the world out there. 
“Feel that?” You kiss his mouth, and from there, you move down to his stubbly jaw. “Focus on that. Focus on me.”
Matt sucks in another sharp breath. While one hand still rests on your chest, the other comes to rest around your neck, feeling your pulse, feeling you, and his eyes flutter closed at the feeling of your luscious lips all over him. 
Your kisses trail down his neck. You pay close attention to the sensitive spot behind his ear. He moans. His hips buck upward. He’s so painfully hard, his cock has already started leaking pre-cum into his boxers. 
Each scar, each indentation on his skin that reminds you of all the good he does at the expense of his health, you kiss. You trace your tongue over the healed wounds, feeling the warmth of his skin seep into yours. He’s so sensitive. 
His fingers involuntarily clench around your neck, but you don’t mind. He’s not choking you, he’s simply trying to hold on. You have established a safe word for a reason, after all. He can get carried away the same way you can get carried away.
You wouldn’t dare push him too far though. Not tonight. Not when he’s already this wrecked underneath you. You purposefully leave his nipples out of the equation and move further down his body. His abs tense under your tender touch. You can’t help but smile. 
And him? Matt feels like he’s floating. He can feel every kiss against his heated skin, your fingertips tracing his scars after you’ve so sensually pressed your mouth against them, and he can feel your every breath as you move downward. Every kiss leaves a series of shivers in its wake. He’s hot, yet he’s cold. He needs more, but at the same time, you are already close to driving him into overstimulation. 
His balls tighten. He can’t believe that the feeling of you is enough to make him want to explode. He knows that if you touch his cock now, he might as well come right then and there. It’s so much more intense like this when he doesn’t get distracted by the world outside. You are his world, and you are all he focuses on. 
You move further down until you reach his boxers. His arm is no longer long enough to keep his hand around your neck, so he moves it into your hair. It’s a silent warning, you suppose because he is close. You only kissed him, and he’s already so close to coming undone. You don’t blame him. He’s been so tense lately. 
You press a kiss to his hip bone before murmuring against his milky skin, “It’s okay.”
Matt whimpers. Your words make their way into his bloodstream. 
You pull his boxers down. The cold air hits his aching tip and the way his back arches makes you almost feel bad. You spit into your hand, but you make sure your palm is warm enough before you reach for his girth. 
The moment you touch him, he’s done for. “Sweetheart, I can’t–” he chokes out, but you shush him by placing your lips against his tip. 
You lick at the salty pre-cum. It tastes like him. You can’t deny that you missed this while he was so distant from you. This is as much for you as it is for him, that is something you can’t deny either. You’re a little selfish tonight. Just a little. 
His words of protest get swallowed by a needy moan, and his fist tightens in your hair. He’s not going to last long. 
Matt is not one to come early. The guilt swallows him faster than you can swallow his cum, which is why he always holds himself back. Tonight though, you won’t let him torture himself for your pleasure. You hate it when he does it. 
“Ugh!” the moan comes from the depths of his chest. “Fucking–God!”
You take him into your throat as far as you can without gagging, and what you can’t take, you wrap your hand around. He’s so thick, and he’s so incredibly big—you can feel the tears forming in your eyes. But God, he is so beautiful with his head thrown back, brown eyes squeezed shut, and that little drop of sweat dripping down his temple. It’s lewd, it’s erotic, and it makes your thighs clench. 
All of his reservations vanish when you take him all in. Your throat is tight, but you’re enthusiastic. Your tongue traces the vein on the underside of his cock, moving back up to the overly sensitive head. Your hands cup his balls. Every time you go down on him, Matt swears he can feel heaven reaching its hand out to him.
He grips your hair a little tighter, his other hand tangling in the sheets. He’s so close. He twitches, painfully so. And when he comes, he instinctively pulls your head upward so you won’t choke. His hot cum spurts down your throat, and you have no choice but to swallow. 
You surprise both yourself and him when you fight against his hand and force yourself down far enough so that your nose brushes the base of his cock, and you gag. 
Your throat is so tight and hot that it drags his orgasm on for eternity. He can hear his blood rushing in his ears. His heart is racing out of his chest as if it has somewhere to be. The fire ripples through him, the inferno turning into a dangerous explosion that tears his nerves apart, putting them back together just to tear them apart again. He feels as though the skin is falling off his very fragile bones, and his muscles collapse in on themselves. 
Matt can’t breathe. When he finally manages to untangle his hands from your hair, he lies there. The blood in his ears is obnoxious. He can’t hear. He can’t see. And suddenly, he can’t even feel anymore. He doesn’t exist. Reality slips away into a moment in time. Now, he’s dying. It feels like he is dying. 
You pull off his cock, catching your breath. His cum trickles down the corner of your mouth. You wipe it away. Pressing a kiss to his hip bone, you look up through your lashes. At first, he looks blissed out, but his expression quickly changes. 
He can’t talk. You take his hand. “Matt,” you coax him. 
Not even his chest is lifting in time to accommodate his heavy breathing. His body is shaking as every ounce of stress falls off his shoulders, and his nerves fall victim to the inferno that is still wreaking havoc inside of him.
He taps your wrist three times. 
“Okay,” you murmur. You quickly climb back up his body. 
“Out,” he manages to tell you, weakly pointing to the earplugs. 
“Okay, baby. I’ve got you. Just breathe.”
You pull the earplugs out as fast as you can. Matt’s arms wrap around you, searching for a lifeline, and he pulls you against him.
“Shhh.” You cradle his head in the crook of your neck. 
You hold him like this for a while. You hold him against you tightly, gently, as if he is the most fragile thing you have ever held. 
Eventually, his breathing returns to normal. His heart starts to slow down. His fingertips no longer dig into your back as desperately as they have before. He’s just content now. 
You press your lips to the crown of his head. “You okay?” you dare to ask. 
Matt takes a moment before he nods. He leans back slightly. “Thank you,” he breathes. 
“For what?”
His lips curl into a tired yet satisfied smile. “For helping me focus.”
You smile back at him. “My pleasure,” you say, and you lean down to capture his lips in a loving kiss. 
“I love you,” he murmurs into the kiss.
“And I love you, Matthew Michael Murdock.”
“Oh, you love me that much, huh?”
You giggle, “Shut up!” before you pull him in for another kiss. 
For now, he needs to catch his breath and pick up the pieces you shattered by giving him this orgasm, but you know that once he does, it is going to be a long night for you. And you won’t be able to find it in yourself to complain. Not that you want to, anyway.
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Matt Murdock Smut Tag List: @acharliecoxedfan @gpenguin666 @linamarr @mcugeekposts @itwasthereaminuteago @mattkinsella @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @etanordoesbullsh1t @thychuvaluswife @harleycao @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @sya-skies @amberritonicole @ravenclaw617
311 notes · View notes
lovsalvatore · 1 year
Text
Anything?
Natasha Romanoff x Fem!reader
Summary: You tell your Maestro that you would do anything to play at her orchestra world tour, you just didn't know about her ulterior motives with you.
Warnings: +18, Minors DNI! smut, nat has a penis, inexperienced reader, blowjob, gagging, cum swallowing, pet names, abuse of authority ig, hair pulling, brief mention of infidelity.
Word count: 4.9k
a/n: thinking of turning this into a series idk ✰ series masterlist, main masterlist
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It's the first time in eight months that Natasha has asked you to stay after rehearsals. And deep down you want to believe it's just so you had more time to practice the piano solo you're going to play in a few weeks, but the way she looks at you makes you have other kinds of thoughts.
You have your hands just resting on the piano keys while you wait for her to say something. You played the song she composed over and over again without missing a single note, and yet you believe that something is still bothering her. "Again." she says, looking at the pieces of sheet music in her hands.
"Natasha..." you say in a shy tone, and her gaze turns to your eyes.
"Maestro." she corrects you.
"Yeah, sorry, Maestro." you curse yourself internally for having called her by her first name, knowing that within this auditorium she does not tolerate informalities. But you're so tired, your fingers feel like they're going to fall out of your hands from so many hours playing the instrument, that all you want is to go home, your brain just isn't working properly. "Are you sure you want me to play again? I mean, I think it's already clear that I know this song by heart, I didn't even need the sheets to play it..."
"I know, but I still want you to play one more time." you don't even think about contradict her, even though your fingers are practically numb you're not crazy not to do what she asks. You feel intimidated by her presence, and you know you're not the only one to feel this way around her. Natasha is one of the best known names in the music business for being an amazing composer and conductor, and also for her reputation as a serious, busy, arrogant, and even rude person. But you don't care. Just the fact that you have the opportunity to be part of her orchestra makes all her harsh comments worthwhile. You just want to be like her, a virtuoso pianist. "Am I gonna have to repeat myself?"
You're snapped out of your thoughts and back to reality, realizing that your Maestro is staring at you seriously, just waiting for you to keep playing the piano. And you do. You play the song she composed, already imagining the tears of emotion that will fall down the audience's cheeks a few weeks from now. Your fingers — even weak — wander over the instrument's keys almost as if on automatic, again, you have played this song so many times that you can play it with your eyes closed. And you know she wants perfection, you know she wants to push you off to the extreme just to make sure you're not gonna make any mistake. And you smile internally knowing that you're successfully proving to her that you were the right choice. Any other pianist couldn't be as good as you, humbly speaking of course.
You play and play, the auditorium filled with nothing but the beautiful sounds of the notes being combined. For a moment you think how she manages to create such incredible pieces, you try to imagine how difficult it must be to compose a song. You'd give anything to have that talent, you'd do anything for people to start recognizing you as a famous pianist too. Your dream is to work in this field, even if your parents say that being a musician will only make you poor, you try to ignore them.
"Okay, that's enough." she says, after you've finally finished the piece again. She takes off her glasses, hanging them on the collar of her shirt before starting to walk towards you. You don't know exactly what time it is, but you know it's late enough that your parents must be already wondering why you're taking so long. Yes, you still live with them. "You're really talented, if you keep it up I might even consider taking you on the world tour."
You cannot process everything at once. First, she called you talented, she never, ever spoke any praise towards any of the musicians who play for her before. And second, world tour? Is this really happening? This might be the dream of any musician, to go around the world playing the instrument they love, especially if they're playing that instrument in the orchestra of one of the most famous composers of recent years. "Wait, really?" you try not to sound too excited, but it's evident in your voice how much this news has positively affected you. "Natas- Maestro this is... my god this is like a dream for me."
You see a smile forming at the corner of her lips, but it disappears just as quickly as it comes.
"It's a dream for everyone." she leans on the piano, causing some keys to emit random sounds. She's wearing a dark blue suit today, she always wears suits, yesterday you remember she was wearing a red one. Her fiery hair is normally always tied back in a bun, but this time it's loose, complementing her beauty.Her hand almost touches yours, but then you pull both of your hands into your lap, playing with your fingers. "How old are you again?"
"I-I'm nineteen."
"Nineteen." she repeats, looking you up and down. You try not to feel the tension that builds between you as silence settles in the auditorium, but you also think that this could just be you making things up in your head. Well, she is in fact a really beautiful woman. But you know that being attracted to her would be very inappropriate, so whenever you start thinking about her that way, you end up committing yourself to something else so as not to delve further into that feeling. But sometimes it's not such a bad feeling. Not that you understand much about the whole attraction thing either, you've kissed only one girl in your entire life, never been touched, so this must all be just admiration towards your Maestro. "You must be busy with college then."
"I mean, yes, but I wouldn't miss this opportunity for anything." you say without thinking straight. All you want is to get your degree in music. But the idea of ​​traveling the world doing what you love is just too exciting. You couldn't believe it when she chose you to play the most important part of her symphony this time, during the months you played for her you only played the less important parts. Maybe this is your lucky year, finally your talent can be recognized by other people. "I might just take some time off, get back to my classes after the tour."
"Oh, you're already thinking of alternatives huh?" she says with a chuckle, and you feel your cheeks flush. "I just suggested it, after all you're not the only talented pianist I know."
And all your hopes have just gone down the drain.
"But who knows, it's not something I'm going to discount either. If you play as well as you're playing at the big presentation in a few weeks, you really could be my first choice." you don't quite know what to say, but all you want is not to disappoint her.
You look down at your hands in your lap as silence returns. You wonder how amazing this opportunity would be, how it would make you finally start growing in a career that doesn't even exist yet. At the same time you want to get up and leave, because this annoyance inside you just grows, you don't know what's going on, being alone with her is messing with you and you don't even know why, but you also don't know if she wants you to play one more time or not, so you just sit there in silence.
Natasha on the other hand can't take her eyes off you. From the first time you walked through that auditorium door you caught her eyes, and since then she always managed not to stare at you for too long so as not to make her attraction to you so obvious.
But when she realized that in addition to being beautiful you were also talented, this obsession she had for you only grew, and it became harder and harder for her not to want to have you completely. So in asking you to play the piano solo, she also saw an opportunity to spend more time with her favorite student. She wanted to ask you to stay after rehearsals for weeks now, but you played the song so perfectly that there was no reason to make you stay and practice more. But today, even though you didn't miss any notes, she asked you to stay anyway. And now she won't let you go until she gets what she really wants from you.
You've never looked at her differently, so she knows you don't feel the same way about her. But she doesn't really care either. "You know." she says in her husky, deep voice, making you look up into her green eyes. "There're also other things you can do to get the spot on the world tour."
Your eyes shine when you see your hopes return, and you open a sincere smile. "I would do anything, seriously." you admit without knowing her intentions.
"Anything?" there's a malice in her tone, but you're too naive to notice. She sees a little bit of herself in you — when she was just a teenager who was discovering her passion for music — and that made her feel a connection to you. But you don't know anything about it, you don't know the way she feels about you. For you, it wouldn't make sense for a woman like her to feel the slightest bit of attraction to you.
You stare at her waiting for her to say something, one of her hands starts tapping some random keys on the piano. When her eyes are focused on her act you end up roaming yours quickly over the features of her face, how her red lips call you so much attention. You had thought about kissing her, yes, you thought of her in those ways, but then again, you always threw those thoughts away. You stare at her for so long you think she's noticed, because she looks back at you with arched eyebrows. "There is this thing, that you can do."
"Well... like I said, I'd do anything to get the spot."
She doesn't try to hide her smile this time, and you can't hide your confused expression as she pushes one of your legs to position herself directly in front of you, her body still leaning against the piano. You look up at her, and Natasha bites her bottom lip when she sees your lost puppy eyes. "I think you're really pretty, did you know that?" she brings one hand to your cheek, and you freeze as she starts to caress it. "Bet you have other kinds of talent, don't you?"
"I..." you try so hard to understand what's going on, you don't really know what she wants from you. And noticing all of your confusion only makes Natasha even more euphoric. Her thumb trails across your bottom lip, before slowly sliding inside your mouth. You don't have time to do anything when her finger presses down against your tongue, and you want to not like it all, you really do. This is wrong, but at the same time it feels so right. It is not possible that those doubts you had could be true after all, that in fact she could be attracted to you. It wouldn't make sense, right? It takes you a few seconds to turn your face away from her touch, feeling your cheek slightly wet when her thumb briefly brushes over it. "Maestro... this is... this is inappropriate."
"What?" she asks innocently. "I did nothing."
"You just..." you stare at her in disbelief, and you just don't know what to say to her. You want to get up, walk away and try to ignore this interaction you just had. But something inside you just makes you not move, it really feels like your body is glued to the seat. "I... I must go... it's late."
"It is not." she says, you know she's lying. It must be past ten o'clock, and you still have to take the subway home. But it seems like she doesn't care, and neither do you. "Come on... are you gonna tell me you don't want this?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." you play dumb, even now you already have some ideas of what her second intentions might be about. And you're enjoying it, fuck, you really are. You shouldn't, you want to not think of her having you the way she wants to, but the thought of that being wrong seems even more exciting. If you had known that she was also attracted to you, you would probably work up the courage to have done something during all these months that you've been her learner.
"That you don't want me." she slightly tilts her body, making your faces very close to each other. You don't take your eyes off hers, you can see her dilated pupils. "I thought you would do anything to get what you wanted."
"That's not what I meant."
"And what would that be exactly?" her eyes go to your lips, and you end up imitating her act. Her lips so close to yours seem even more kissable. If you just tilt her face forward a little -.
"I know what you want from me... and this... this is wrong, I would do anything but not that kind of thing."
You don't even know if you're really telling the truth right now. You know you want her the same way she wants you, not minding giving up your body in exchange for a favor.
"But I didn't even say anything, you're the one jumping to conclusions here detka." you close your eyes as she starts kissing the pulse point on your neck, lightly sucking your skin, but not enough to leave marks. You despise the fact that this is turning you on, you know she's just taking advantage of you, and you're letting her. "Let's just say this is the easiest way to get you on the world tour." she whispers. "Don't you want this? Don't you want the easy way?"
"I don't know." you say sincerely, whimpering as she turns her attention to the other side of your neck. "This is wrong, we shouldn't, we... Natasha... please..."
You bite your bottom lip hard to prevent a moan from escaping your lips as she lightly bites your neck. You feel the heat between your legs, and you think how deplorable your situation is right now. "Do you want me to stop?" she asks, tucking one of your locks behind your ear. "I can stop, but I don't think that's what you want, right?"
When you shake your head from side to side something inside Natasha changes completely. The thought of you not feeling attracted to her completely evaporates, and knowing that you want her the same way she wants you makes pure ecstasy control her senses. "Fuck..."she lowers her face to your neck again, this time sucking hard. Her tongue roams up your neck, making a tortuous trail to your earlobe. Her breathing is labored, and you get goosebumps as you realize what's about to happen.
She takes one of your hands, leading it to where she'd been wanting this whole time. You can't hide a gasp when she presses your palm against the hard bulge in her pants, and you can certainly feel how big it is. "See what you do to me? Gosh... I have to control myself so much not to be like that in front of your colleagues."
You feel ashamed for doing this, but now there's no turning back. Even if you don't have any experience you want to continue. You want to show her how good you can be at other things, you have so much admiration for her that you would let her do anything to you. Your eyes are closed as she kisses your jaw, and you wonder if she'll kiss your lips but she just pulls back slightly to unzip her pants. "Can you show me how talented you can be at other things, hm?" she asks in a gentle tone, it's like she took the words out of your thoughts. One of her hands on the back of your neck, pulling some of your baby hairs.
"I uhm..." you clear your throat, and nearly choke when she pulls her hard cock out of her boxers. She strokes it slowly in front of you, and you wonder if you'll even be able to take it. It's thick, and if you pay close attention you can even see the visible veins running through it. "I-I've never done anything... I... I'm inexperienced."
You don't know it, but by saying that you made a big mistake. Natasha knowing she's going to be your first just makes it easy for her to do whatever she wants, and she knows you won't have the courage to say no.
"It's okay, I know you're a quick learner." she guides your hand to stroke her, and reluctantly you do. You see some of her pre-cum in her tip, and feel how she gets harder with every move of yours. You have to squeeze your thighs together to relieve some of the sensation in your sex, while your hand goes up and down her shaft. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for this, really... you don't know how many times I touched myself thinking about you."
You don't pay much attention to her revelation, all you can do is focus on your hand movements, which gets faster with each stroke. You don't even know if you're doing it right, but listening to Natasha groan makes you think that in fact you are. You never imagined that you would want to have a cock inside you, but at this very moment all you wanted was this. "Hm, just like that." she murmurs, throwing her head back as you press your thumb over her head, trying to spread some of her juices over the thick length of her cock. Your heart races when you remember that someone could walk into the auditorium at any moment and see this scene of you and your Maestro, and that makes you want to go on even more. "Oh baby... I need more of you."
You look up, feeling her grip the back of your neck, propelling your face forward. "Take it slow hm?" when your mouth touch her tip Natasha gasps in anticipation, and not wanting to take too long to make her feel good you part your lips. You start by placing a kiss on the tip of her cock, before slowly circling the end of it with your tongue. Because it's your first time giving someone a blowjob, you try to imagine it's a lollipop, it shouldn't be that hard. You gently suck on her head, closing your eyes when you can taste her on your tongue. "Looks like someone has no time to waste." Natasha smiles, both of her hands holding the hair on top of your head so it doesn't get in the way.
You just keep working your mouth around the tip of it, it's thick and long, you don't know if you can take any more than that. But for Natasha it's not enough. She wants more, she wants all of it. You're taken aback by her rough movement bringing her hips forward, forcing you to take all of her at once, without any warning. You immediately feel the pain in the back of your throat as she pulls the cock out of your mouth just as quickly as she thrusts it in. The sudden invasion makes your body freeze for a second, realizing that she's just here to use you however she wants. And you actually look forward to it.
"Aww sorry, I couldn't help myself kitty. I just want to fuck your mouth until you beg me to stop." tears form in the corner of your eyes as you get used to your now empty mouth, your hand that was previously on her length now massaging your throat in search of relief. "It's alright, I'll be gentle this time okay?"
Even though you don't believe her words, you just nod, watching her guide you back to her cock. When she enters your mouth again you expect her to start thrusting hard, but she slowly moves her hips forward so that only half of her fills your mouth. "Oh fuck, you feel so warm. Go ahead, help me out a bit with this detka, I know you can do it." you rest both your hands on her thighs for balance as your head begins to move back and forth, going as far as you can, which you now learn is not just the tip. The heat inside you only grows, as do the obscene noises of your mouth around her cock. "See? I knew you were a quick learner. I bet it won't take long for you to take all my cock in that little mouth of yours."
Your Maestro's dirty words make you feel your wetness grow, and it won't be long before you start making a mess in your own underwear. You look up seductively as you take half of her inside your mouth, even with a little labored breathing you still manage to hold on, and actually wait for her to start going deeper. "Who knew you could be such a talented little slut huh?" she pulls your hair hard, causing a pleasurable pain in your scalp that just doesn't help you think straight. "Want me to fuck your mouth? Want me to treat you like the good and talented slut you are?"
You pull your head back, letting go of her cock with one last suck on the head before saying. "Yes please." Natasha wants to laugh when she realizes how easy it was to make you totally surrendered to her.
"Oh yeah?" you nod frantically, just wanting to give her what she wants right away knowing that in the end you will be reworded. "Fuck... I'm gonna come so hard down your throat and you're gonna swallow all of it, I don't want a drop spilling out, understand?"
"Y-yes."
"Tongue out baby." you do what she asks right away. Natasha grabs her cock, bringing it to your tongue, which she grinds a few times before starting to slide all of it inside you. She holds your head still as her hips move all the way forward, and you gag when you feel the tip of it in the deepest part of your throat. She stays still for a few seconds, as if she's letting you get used to the size before she starts moving, and unlike before she doesn't wait to start fucking your mouth hard.
You try to push her away in an automatic act realizing that this was much harder than you imagined, but Natasha just ignores it and keeps pushing her cock deeper and deeper into your throat. "Oh your mouth feels so good around my cock, I bet you're soaking wet for me aren't you?." you feel like you're on cloud nine, trying to catch your breath with every thrust. Her cock is so thick that you can even feel it sliding around the corners of your lips, slightly widening them as you try to take it all in. "Can't wait to stretch out that tight pussy of yours, fuck you so hard you'll forget your own name."
She doesn't even have to do what she just said to make you forget your own name. Just the thought of having her inside you makes you forget how your brain even works. The place that was previously being filled by the sound of the piano is now flooded by the noises of your gags, tears running down your cheeks wetting your entire face along with your drool that runs down your chin. "I'm so close... keep taking it... just like the good learner you are." you don't even try to escape her merciless thrusts anymore, you just let her fuck your mouth.
She’s not gentle, not caring at all. She just wants to fuck your mouth mercilessly, see you cry and choke yourself around her dick. “You’re taking so well, are you sure this is your first time?” she asks a little surprised that you aren't complaining so much, even the tears on your cheeks proving the opposite, even the noise of your gags making it clear that it's not being easy for you. “Enjoying this aren't you little slut? Fucking your way up to the top.”
When you listen to her remind you why you are doing this, a little guilt takes over your body, not because it’s an unethical act, but because you don’t regret it.
Even though it's one of the most uncomfortable sensations you've ever felt, you still feel turned on by it. The way she uses your mouth as if you were just a doll to her. How you proved that even though it was your first time doing something like this you still managed to make her feel good. This shit really makes you soak, making you want more.
Your eyes squeeze shut as you start to feel a few drops of her cum land on your tongue, and for a moment you're relieved that it's almost over, because even though you're loving the feeling, it's also too big for you to hold on for too long. "Yeah... fuck that's it... down to the last drop don't forget." Natasha continues to fuck your mouth for some time, and you manage not to focus on the pain she causes you by pulling your hair hard as her warm loads spurt into your mouth. You choke when she comes in the back of your throat, but even though you have a hard time, she stays inside you, forcing you to do nothing but swallow every last drop. The taste of her burns down your throat, which is so sensitive it looks like she fucked it for hours "Uhum... that's it...fuck you did so well."
When she doesn't get her cock outside your mouth you start pushing her by her thighs, but she just presses your head against her even more. Your nose touches her lower stomach as you feel her cock pulsing inside your mouth, the tip of it making it hard for you to breathe. "It feels so good inside your mouth detka, it makes me want to start fucking you again." she says, and you fall into despair, knowing you won't make it one more time. Natasha lets out a dry laugh as she sees in your eyes the fear of her actually putting you through that again, and then in one swift act she finally pulls her hips back, taking out her entire length out of you. You automatically choke in your own saliva, coughing a few times to get used to the feeling of finally having your mouth empty. Your jaw hurt from keeping your mouth open so long while she fucked you, and your eyes are blurred with tears.
The Maestro just stares at you with her still hungry eyes, not believing that she really got what she wanted without having any difficulty. She didn't know you would give in so easily, she thought it would take you a while to accept it, but apparently she was very wrong. And she'll definitely use that to her advantage, knowing you're so easy to have, she won’t leave it to just one time thing, she wants more.
You watch as Natasha tucks her dick back inside her boxers before zipping up her pants, at the same time you run your hand over your face to wipe away some of the drool. You made such a mess, you can even feel some of your spit trickling down between your breasts. You want to ask her if she's really gonna give you the spot on the world tour, but you're completely oblivious — still trying to process the fact that you've just given your Maestro a blowjob — which makes it too hard for you to formulate a complete sentence. "Don't think I won't do what I said." she says, again sounding like she reads your thoughts. "I said this was the easiest way, I wasn't lying."
You want to scream, from happiness of course. You smile at her, licking your lips and getting a little taste of her that's still fixated on you. Natasha puts her glasses back on her face, pulling away from the piano and closing the fallboard to protect the keys.
"But I didn't say how many times you would have to do it to actually get the spot." she brings one hand up to your cheek, stroking your skin so gently it doesn't even feel like she was shoving her cock so hard down your throat. "I've wanted you for so long, once is not enough for me. You're gonna have to prove that you really deserve this spot... with this... I want you to stay after rehearsal tomorrow again."
With that said, she simply turns and walks away. Completely fulfilled knowing that you're going to come back here tomorrow, and give it to her again for as long as she wants it. You sit immobile on the piano bench, wondering if this was all a good idea. You thought it would only be one time, you didn't know anything about your Maestro's secret obsession with you. And as much as you liked it, you're starting to think that even though this was the easy way, maybe this wasn't the choice you should have made. God. She's old enough to be your mother, and for as long as you know, she's married. My God. What did you do.
She's using you, you know that. You know it's easy for her to have you because you're young and naive. And yet you let her take advantage of you. And you hate the fact that you deep down want that to happen again. Because you loved the attention she gave just to you, you loved realizing that you can make her feel that good. But you hated it, you really hated it because you can't wait for her to ruin you again.
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