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bluejay-the-geek · 7 days

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DC characters/moments as Tortured Poets Department songs/lyrics bc i have a light concussion and am very bored (in the album's chronological order)

(disclaimer before someone is triggered- some of the lyrics are taken out of context or interpreted differently than what they actually mean. this is just for fun don't come for me. also this gets pretty angsty towards the end so proceed with caution)

"I was supposed to be sent away, But they forgot to come and get me"- tim drake very obviously bc neglecting parents/boarding school

"I love you, it's ruining my life"- early harleen quinzel about joker

"My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys"- the whole song is just harley quinn idc (pre-harlivy of course)

"Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym"- nightwing def cried at the gym at some point

"I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe"- dick grayson about bruce after moving out of wayne manor

"You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the altar waitin' for the proof, You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days"- remember the whole selena leaving bruce at the alter thing? yeah

"I'd rather burn my whole life down, Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin', I'll tell you something 'bout my good name, It's mine alone to disgrace"- I'm just getting red hood vibes from this no specific reason

"Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you, Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to"- almost every gotham rouge to batman right after escaping arkham/prison. especially joker, catwoman and riddler lol

"At the park where we used to sit on children's swings, Wearing imaginary rings"- this one specific panel of tim and steph

"And this city reeks of driving myself crazy"- everyone who's ever been to gotham

"All my girls got their lace and their crimes, And your cheating husband disappeared, well, No one asks any questions here"- it's giving gotham city sirens

"Am I allowed to cry?"- maybe it's just me but i thought about clark kent discovering he had different biological parents and grieving about them even though the parents that actually raised him are alive and well

"So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street, Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream, "Who's afraid of little old me?", You should be" red hood's debut

"The scandal was contained, The bullet had just grazed, At all costs, keep your good name, You don't get to tell me you feel bad"- jason todd about the whole making batman choose between him and joker at the end of under the red hood

"You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me"- this is 100% Bane bc he was born and grew up in prison for a crime he didn't even do!! also cassandra cain and damian wayne

(^this is actually the lyric that inspired this entire post lol)

"You caged me and then you called me crazy, I am what I am 'cause you trained me, So who's afraid of me? Who's afraid of little old me?"- kind of a stretch but remember that time they put jason in arkham?

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)- again the whole song is harley about joker

"Your arson's match, your somber eyes, And I'll still see it until I die, You're the loss of my life"- bruce about jason. out of all the robins that died, jason's death hit him the hardest. even now when bruce sees red hood, he still sees that happy little kid that he lost

"I can read your mind, "She's having the time of her life", There in her glittering prime, The lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night, I can show you lies"- bc we all know Nightwing is always dying on the inside, and it was very true in the discowing era bc it was right after he left the manor

"'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit"- jason pre-bruce

"I'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague"- ok so we got joker about batman, cupid about green arrow, hush about bruce wayne... and a bunch of others but it's too many to write lol

"And you deserve prison, but you won't get time"- fucking tarantula that bitch

"The smallest man who ever lived"- the atom! not any of the messages in the song tho ofc he's just very small

"What if I told you I'm back? The hospital was a drag, Worst sleep that I ever had, I circled you on a map ,I haven't come around in so long, But I'm coming back so strong"- joker to batman after escaping arkham again

"I haven't come around in so long, But I'm making a comeback to where I belong"- jason coming back to protect crime alley after being away from gotham for years after his resurrection

"Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you"- batman and catwoman<3

I Hate It Here- imagine the whole song as homeless jason todd taking shelter in the library💔

"I built a legacy that you can't undo, But when I count the scars, there's a moment of truth, That there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you"- bruce built a legacy as batman, and created a huge family he loves, and it hurts to think about but he wouldn't have any of it if joe chill hadn't murdered his parents

"Please, I've been on my knees, Change the prophecy, Don't want money, Just someone who wants my company"- kid bruce grew up all alone in a huge mansion, but he'd give all his billions away in a heartbeat if he could change his parent's fate

"So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst"- ok so you might think i chose cassandra cain for this only bc of the name, BUT- cass notices things others don't (like cassandra the prophet...), bc of her skills and abilities she is feared the most (Ik the song said "she feared" not "she is feared" but idc lol). like if someone knew so much about you just by looking you'd think she's some kind of a witch too

Peter- picture this: jason had a childhood friend back at crime alley. he left to live in wayne manor and become robin, and said goodbye to his old friend, promising they'd reunite again in the future. 3 years pass and his friend reads an article about jason's death. now listen to the song and try not to cry (if someone writes that fic send me the link IMMEDIATELY this has been haunting me) here's the link to the song with lyrics bc ik you're too lazy to look it up. also jason's middle name is peter:)

"Splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless, Excellent fun 'til you get to know her"- brucie wayne vs batman

"Started with a kiss, "Oh, we must stop meeting like this" But it always ends up with a town car speeding, Out the drive one evening"- catwoman and batman of course<3 the town car is the batmobile speeding out the batcave to catch catwoman (to arrest her or make out with her? probs both)

Robin- ofc we have to go robins for robin! imo that's bruce to dick and jason's robins, and dick to damian when he was his robin. dick and jason- despite the hard times they went through that led to them becoming robins, they were still mostly happy curious kids that run around covered in mud while bruce tried (unsuccessfully) to maintain the innocence they had left. as for damian- it's more of a stretch than the other 2 bc he had no childlike innocence before robin, but dick tried his hardest to extract the child that was hidden inside the ruthless assassin the league created, finally allowing him to experience normal kid things. idk

"He said, "I'm not a donor but, I'd give you my heart if you needed it", She rolled her eyes and said, "You're a professional""-to me this is clark kent completely in love and lois with her sass

"And at last, She knew what the agony had been for"- almost every hero. they suffer, they sacrifice, they fight, and sometimes they want to give up- but at the end of the day, they save lives, so it's all worth it

and that's it folks! feel free to add more/share your insights!!

sorry for any spelling/grammer mistakes, English isn't my first language plus like the title said i had a minor head injury a few days ago and I'm tired soI'm not proofreading this bc I'm going to sleep rn goodnight to all✌️

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ilydottie · 4 months

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happy new years friends and followers! i remember doing one of these when i first joined fanfic tumblr and i’m feeling nostalgic so i thought i’d make one since it’s been awhile and i have some (positive) things to say!!

okay here goes!! putting everything under a readmore to not clog the dash <3

@tighnarly — hi baby. my princess, cupcake, gum drop, bunny baby <3 i’m so happy and grateful to have you as my future wife and i can’t wait for the day we get married. i know i mostly post about my fictional fav (albedo :p) but you’re truly all i want and need 🫶🏻 everytime i write a fanfic i’m thinking of you and me. every word i write is a love letter to you from me. i know i’m not the best with words but i hope one day you’ll be able to see you the way i see you. trust me when i say you are the most beautiful and kind human i have ever met in my life, and i’m gonna personally fight everyone and anyone who hurts you 😗 anywaysss hehe i love you sunshine 💖🫶🏻

@neuvillettes — bestieeeeeee my bestie from the westie 🫶🏻 i’m so glad we met and connected online bc now we legit our roommates and it’s so fun 😭🤚🏻 like i legit dont know how to tell you how much our friendship means to me. ur fr that one person that just GETS me. you’re so kind and funny and fun to be around, but i also love that ur not afraid to be honest with me, especially when i need that tough love approach. i love you oh so much bestie 💖 oh and thank you for the art tablet i literally am still screaming over it hehe.

@suyacho — my beloved bestie 🫶🏻 there is no one i love rambling about my selfship thots about more than you. i love how i can talk to you about anything and everything 🥹🫶🏻 i especially love how patient and supportive you’ve been of me this year, because it meant the entire world to me. i’m so glad we’re besties and i can’t wait for the day i meet you irl 🫶🏻💖mwah ily bestie hehe me, kaeya, and albedo are smoochin u rn 💖 (platonic)

@auphelia — mootie sweet sweet mootie. it always makes me happy seeing you on the dash, and i especially smile whenever i see u in my tags whether it’s a fic or just a regular old post. i get so giddy whenever i talk to u bc u are fr one cool pal!! i’m so glad we’re mooties! and i have to say i can’t wait to see what more you write because you are very talented 💖

@fleur-de-leap — leap!! i know i am very sporadic with my messages but i legit get so happy to interact with you and even more so when i see/read ur art/writing! you’re so fucking talented in so many ways and every day it truly impresses me! when we made the server together that day it made me SO happy and i get so happy seeing i get messages from you 💖 thank you for being my friend through all these years, truly it’s been a blessing.

@shig-a-shig-ah — bestie!!!!! my BESTIEEEE 🥹🫶🏻 i hope u know u mean the entire world to me. i can’t believe we’ve been friends since the beginning of my writing journey, it’s wild! istg ONE DAY BESTIE, ONE DAY we will meet and it will be the best day ever 🥹🫶🏻 ily bestie mwah

@blkladyelle — elle!! my beloved!! it’s so nice whenever i see you on the dash, and i’m always especially happy whenever i get a dm from you! i hope you feel loved and happy this upcoming year and that it holds so much positivity for you. because fuck i need you to have a good year!!! i love you sm and wanted to let you know my dm’s are always open for you 🫶🏻💖

@nc-vb — mootie aka my fellow albedo lover i get so happy whenever i see u interact with me, and i want you to know i’m always rooting for you! you’re writing is so good and honestly you’ve been such a joy to talk to in dm’s, and you’re so easy to talk to. i hope this year good things happen to you, because you truly deserve the world bub 🫶🏻

@4izawas — bestie cas!! i know we just became mutuals but u are legit one of the coolest people on this app! ur writing is fucking god tier and you are legit one of the funniest fuckers i know 😭💖 can’t count the amount of times u’ve made me giggle from something u said 🤭 i’m manifesting that aizawa confesses his love to u this year!!! 💖

if you’re not listed here it’s purely either because i forgot or we didn’t talk too much this year. so, please don’t take it personally if i didn’t include you!! i love all me mooties 🫶🏻💖

#z.happy new years #!!!!#ok to rb <3

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chihirolovebot · 2 months

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i made. a PHYSMAKI!! pinterest board!!! i hope it is in character :’) but i wanted to share it with you anyways

https://pin.it/1WXZeDHsN

i made a few about phys & other characters too. and OFCOURSEEE physouma aswell!!

fyi its always me sending asks about physmaki,,, i love them so much actually toxic yuri FTW!!!!

IM LITERALLY SO ILLL OHHGHG MY GOD ARE U KIDDING ??? putting some faves under the cut

FIRST OF ALL just want to go crazy bonkers stupid over the amount of dog / rabid dog imagery and pins in this board since i went so hard on the coding for harukawa and dogs in sleep awake . shes so rescued fighting dog to me and it makes me sick. the nightmarish black and red ones are so perfect for just what i imagine the inside of her head to be like the 'do not forget what i am' with the bared teeth oghhhhgh harukawa u think ur so cruel and unlovable u think u are but a weapon but phys sees u as a person</3 what the hell .

this one first i hc that harukawa is very incapable of hiding her emotions like ANY emotions even though she tries . because i figure she never would actually have much practise hiding them as an assassin bc it was not strictly necessary + we see in the game that shes actually pretty expressive , even when it comes to stuff like being flustered by her friends or being angry ( mostly at ouma and momota lol ) . so yeah anyone this one is real harukawa's soft side for phys comes through a lot ( i hope ) .

this is so hangar coded . oughghhhggh oh harukawa u thought u were doing the right thing at any cost and now look . look how its all fallen apart around you. 'i did it for you' and the worst part is she did !!! she truly believed she was recusing phys from someone who had kidnapped and tortured them !!!!!!! she thought she was doing the right thing + who's to say someone in her shoes wouldn't do exactly the same . i can literally imagine her saying this . of course there is a flipside which is that harukawa only thinks she's doing stuff for phys because she doesn't believe they have agency of their own ( to an extent ) and they are blinded/brainwashed by ouma so it's a pretty awful double-sided coin . 'i did it for you' but only because i didn't believe you could do it for yourself .

well this one was just frankly evil and i think it's cool to read this from both perspectives actually . from phys's perspective this is fairly clear-cut; lover ( if we're going romantic physmaki ), hunter ( when they used to be afraid of her in the earlier chapters ) friend ( middle chapters ) and enemy ( right at the start and during a lot of chapter five ). YOU WILL ALWAYS BE EVERY ONE OF THESE because their dynamic changing and shifting doesn't discredit their journey from one sort of relationship to another . i think the nature of phys and harukawa's relationship is that it's always in danger of losing its equilibrium and sliding back into something slightly toxic or unhealthy or doomed . they probably have the most inconsistent relationship in the fic ( physouma is debatable ) and i think it's because they're never totally sure what to make of each other or where the other stands , as a threat or a friend .

slightly repeating myself on the hangar point but this just epitomises what harukawa was trying to do in ch5 . she doesnt really know how to love and have faith in other people which is a part of why she thought phys needed saving . if she had realised like chabashira , kiibo and saihara did that phys had more agency than they were letting on , it probably wouldn't have escalated resulting in their fallout and phys' fury towards her in the investigation + trial chapters . deep sigh . in conclusion harukawa fighting dog who had to use her teeth despite not wanting to . in conclusion ouma and harukawa both thinking they had no choice other than to do the worst thing possible that they truly did not want to do because they both believed it was in everyones greater interest . only to find out that if they just paid closer attention , believed a little more , there was a choice all along .

anyways im going to go vomit . genuinely amazing board , i checked out your other ones as well and OH the physouma one was genuinely fantastic . so sososo thankful u sent me this as u can see i went bananas over it + i hope ur having a wonderful day :3

sidenote i have a bunch of pinterest boards that u may or may not have seen . if u would like i can post the link to my own physouma board :o

#dear venus.#🏚.sleep awake

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mikomikono · 9 months

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hi miko! im here with a fic writing question… i was thinking about how to make smut good bc recently i feel like whenever i get to the smut part of the fic im writing i get super bored, like im just rehashing whatever ive been writing in every smut scene ive done for years. you and endles came to mind bc i always find your guys nsfw scenes really compelling, and great, and unique. while also being hot and fun (very important w smut!!) so i wanted to ask if you had any tips for keeping things exciting or fresh when you are tackling those scenes! especially because you guys have experience writing the same characters many times over and manage to be so creative and distinct with every scene ive read from you. so, i guess, penny for your thoughts, if you feel like it! (sorry for sending this only to you and asking for both your opinions, it was the simplest 😭. if u want to answer yourself only thats fine haha)

❤️

Heyyyy oh my god I never expected to become someone ppl would come to for writing advice, what an honour 💖 also, I hope you don't mind me answering publicly, bc I feel like this is something a lit of writers struggle with! I will put it under a cut tho, bc I ended up writing quite a bit oops

So. Smut. It's kinda funny you should ask me about that, bc the first proper sex scene I ever wrote was last year for Steamship Sexcapades (bc I am not counting that one feeble attempt at 19 that was so cringe that I hid it away and didn't even think about trying again for like 8 yrs) but I suppose after writing *checks The Canon word count* a lot since then means something :DD

Here's the thing: I also feel like I'm rehashing things. Constantly. There's only so many ways you can say "cock in hole ➡️ thrust" before you're gonna have to repeat some phrases. And honestly, I feel like I repeat phrases remarkably often! But in a way that's all writing! (or that's how I stop myself from getting too depressed about it lol) The readers don't notice! Usually. And as long as you don't use the exact same wording every single time.

Ok, so here's a few tips on what I, personally, think you need to make a good sex scene:

Don't be afraid of the words. Y'know, the first time I wrote "half-hard cock" I (allegedly) had to take a 10min break and texted a friend that I was not going to be able to do this. But after a while you sort of get used to it and the words that seemed embarrassing stop being that, and become just... Words. And you also shouldn't shy away from more "cringe" words! Sometimes its fun to be a little cringe!

Related, you should try to love the words. But that's just good general writing advice, I feel.

Describe the emotions. Most people feel... something towards those they are intimate with, and that should be true in erotica too. It should be especially true in erotica, I think! Even if it's a one night stand, strangers who met in the club 5mins ago, whatever... You want the characters to feel.

Don't forget the physical. This is a thing that might seem a bit... weird. Like, you're writing sex, how could it not be physical? But what I mean is that you shouldn't forget to describe how it feels to the people involved, most notably your POV character. It's very easy to get lost in describing what they're doing and completely forget to get into the actual feeling. You're not writing a sex manual! And I have read fics where half way through I realise that's what it sounds like.

It's never just about the sex. Even if you think it is, it's not. It's about the connection, the narrative, the characterisation... It's about showing something that you can only show through the kind of vulnerable intimacy that sex scenes provide. Even if it's a oneshot pwp, it still has something to say. Maybe that something is wanting to get your rocks off, but also we're talking about fanfiction... We don't read and write that just to get off. It's always about the characters.

Rehashing is fine, actually. As I said, there's only so many ways to describe certain things, and so many ways you can have sex. Except that's not really true, because the secret to keeping it fresh is mixing it up! You can change positions, you can change who's the top/bottom, you can add foreplay (you should) and then change what kind of foreplay you wanna have! You can look into kinks! You can change locations! (I know we've done that a lot) You can add or remove any number of things to make each individual encounter different! And that's the key: repetition is fine, so long as you don't use the exact same everything every time. Case in point, there is a tumblr post which I would link except I'm on mobile, that is titled sth like "list of vocal sounds for smut", which has a list of, well, sounds/verbs (moan, groan, hiss, whimper, whisper etc) and adjectives that could be paired with them (hoarse, needy, quiet, throaty, desperate, wanton etc). The point is, that the best way to keep from sounding repetitive is to mix and match the words so that even if you say "groan" five times in 5k words, it's a different kind of groan every time. The same applies to sex acts! Do you have any idea how much cock Ryunosuke has sucked during The Canon? A lot. But it doesn't feel repetitive (hopefully) because everything else around it is switched up.

And perhaps most importantly: you gotta be at least a little horny for it yourself. I get it, man, writing smut is weird. You sit in front of your computer, staring at the monitor like "hmm is it better to use the word cock or dick or member?" And like... That's not very sexy. But! But!!! At the end of the day you gotta write something that makes you excited! Otherwise what's the point? Why are you writing if it doesn't fulfill you on some level??

Anyway, that's just my thoughts on the matter. If you want more specific help with writing, you can always DM me, I don't mind~

Also, endles says she is too mentally exhausted to properly answer, but she seconds everything I said, especially the point about loving the words. Actually she really wants to say sth about that, so I'm paraphrasing her for the rest of this:

You, as a writer, should love language. You should love the neat little things that language can do and seek out new things to try every time. It's a journey of discovery! Just like sex is always a new journey, even if it's the same characters and the same sex acts, every individual time is a chance to find something new. Let yourself have fun! Write something really stupid and work from that. The way I create scenes by writing jokes, even for serious scenes, because sex at the core is kinda funny. You're standing naked (at least partially) in front of this other naked person and it makes you feel a bit funny.

Also concrete advice: pick a list of 5-10 words you want to use. They can be anything, verbs, nouns, adjectives, as long as you really, really vibe with them, because they make you happy, as long as they're not words you already use a lot. They can also all relate to the same theme if you want! And then find a way to put all those words in.

#own post #fanfiction #smut #writing stuff #writing advice #i guess #answered #miko blogs omg #i hope this helped AT ALL #as i said feel free to send me a dm i would love to help you iron out any issues #or provide beta reading!#anyway #0139s

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torra-and-the-toons · 1 year

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What's your opinion on the flanderization of the Eds during the later seasons? More specifically the school episodes.

I remember being so upset about it as a kid.

Double D and Ed are relatively reserved people with Eddy being pretty much the most extroverted of them. Especially in the start of the show. Ed is that weird kid that makes obscure references to TV shows and movies he's watched, he's so absorbed into science fiction comics and horror flicks he believes it's real. Double D is too weak for the other kid's games and too much of a know-it-all that'd it be a put off to most of the Cul-de-sac kids and Eddy was well.. small and a loud-mouth bossy but, he meant well. They all meant well.

He just wanted to fit in, they all did. (felt deep in my soul)

With Eddy, Ed and Double D had a sense of belonging, they had each-other and that's what mattered to them. They're social outcasts but they are outcasts that weren't alone. Them growing apart with the school episodes just made so hurt especially as I watched the re-runs while in Junior High/Middle School myself.

Am I going too deep into this? Probably. Thoughts?

Ooohhh I love talking about season 5/6!!

Opinions under the cut bc this will probably get long. (You're afraid you went too deep but I've already dug to china, my friend lmao)

My opinion of it used to be the same as you way back in the day. I remember seeing the first new episode and literally turning off the television because I was so irritated. Everything was so different, I could tell the animation was different, they were going to SCHOOL... something I hated thinking about when I was a 14-15 year old teenager myself. I used to watch this show to get away from reality, not relive the experience. I didn't like change as a kid. Change is scary, but I've come to discover as I got older that change is inevitable, and the sooner we embrace it, the happier we'll be.

However, my opinion of the later seasons as an adult has changed drastically.

I actually really love the later seasons now. The characters are so much more expressive and silly. Sure, some of the episodes are a little cringy, but don't we all have memories from our childhood that make us cringe? Looking back at my own childhood, school was just a part of the experience. It sucked in the moment, but I have so many fond memories of my friends and I going through school that I will never get to relive again.

The one thing I've always admired about this cartoon is how much it reminds me of my childhood. And part of the reason I still love it today is because I get to relive the experience of being young through the Eds over and over again. It's not about magic, or spies, or superheroes... it's just three kids being kids. It's so simple, but so powerful.

I'm sorry, but I have to hard disagree with you on them drifting apart in the school seasons though. They're growing up, showing their differences, but what mattered at the end of the day was that they were still friends. I had a couple of friends since the first grade, we all grew into different people, but despite EVERYTHING we are still best friends to this day. That's how I see the Eds. That's how I want the Eds to be if there ever exists a canon version with them as adults. No matter who they've become. No matter where they are. No matter how much time has passed, they'll always be friends.

So, to answer your question: Seasons 5/6 are one of my favorites, actually. They're different for sure, but school is just another part of being a kid. And friendships are definitely tested in school, especially for such different personalities such as Ed, Edd and Eddy. But the bond they share is even stronger at the end of the day. That's how I view it.

Idk, maybe I've spend way too much time reading in between all the lines.

I hope I was able to articulate my thoughts well enough <3 Sorry if it wasn't the answer you were looking for. But thanks for asking!

#Torra answers #ed edd n eddy #season 5/6 discourse #imagination-confusion

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nedlittle · 1 year

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Top 5 MCR songs? Also, top 5 Gerard Way Looks?

beginning to think i didn't think this through because i have so much love in my heart that choosing favourite songs feels illegal. they're all my favourite (except for blood which I think is hilarious as a concept but would never voluntarily listen to it) however

vampires will never hurt you - they immediately peaked with this one i genuinely think it's in top 3 songs they've ever written on sheer technical creativity. the first 30 seconds send a spike of pure adrenaline through my body. i could lift a bus if vampires was playing in the bg. absolutely deranged choice for a first single yet absolutely in character for them. love that half the songs off bullets don't even feel like songs that are verse > chorus > verse > chorus > bridge > chorus. they're just stories set against the sicknastiest guitar you've ever heard. but vampires in particular feels like everyone is performing until they pass out the energy doesn't flag for half a second. perfect song. i could listen to it every day and not get tired of it

boy division - iconic from start to finish. the amount of time tourists walked in one me going absolutely sicko mode to this one on slow days is at LEAST 3. love how tongue-in-cheek the lyrics are wrt to legacy and image love that i have listened to this song approximately 4000 times since mid-july and yet i do not know half the lyrics bc someone will not enunciate. putting it after foundations on setlists is such a fun choice because it really doesn't give you a second to breathe. going straight from the healing and awe and resilience of being told to fix your heart IMMEDIATELY into IFALLMYENEMIESTHREWAPARTY--

the foundations of decay - i know i'm prone to exaggeration and hyperbole but this one is dead fucking serious. the first time i listened to foundations i was like oh wow new music! and i liked it well enough but didn't seek it out or really think about it that much the first few times i heard it and then during the summer i saw some fanart and thought oh hm maybe i should give foundations another listen and that time i heard "you must fix your heart" clear as a fucking bell like a bolt of lightning clean through down to the centre of me right when i was experiencing such intense existential dread about turning 25--an age i never thought i'd reach--and not having a stable job or future that i thought i would lay down and die from it. you must fix your heart!! and you must build an altar where it swells!! i just had such a profound experience hearing that lyric and i listened to just the bridge over and over again for a week until i could hear it like static in my ears even when it wasn't playing. you must fix your heart. if i remember and get over my fear of appointments i'm going to get this tattooed on my human body. i mean this forever.

mama - do not need to explain this one. ray toro i would fight god for you thank you for taking a dare to write a rock polka 100% seriously and as a result transgenderizing millions of people across the globe on a daily basis. also up there in top 3 songs they've ever written. screaming YOU SHOULD HAVE RAISED A BABY GIRL I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER SON with thousands of people would both fix me and make me worse. LIZA MINNELLI is there

our lady of sorrows - the childhood catholicism really jumped out with this one but in my defense stand up fucking tall don't let them see your back and take my fucking hand and never be afraid again. gay-ass epic of gilgamesh-ass punk song. i know the point is that it's short but also i wish it were 10 minutes long

okay jesus christ we're putting the looks under a read more because i'm going to end up writing a phd thesis on each of them and the good people who followed me for other things shouldn't have to scroll 10 km uphill in the snow to see other posts

i am limiting these looks to recent tour fits because otherwise we will be here for the next 7 years and i will end up burning all the hair off my scalp in another bad dye job SO let's watch me get embarrassing

gerard of arc

protestants invented the rapture so they could describe mcr. we knew this one was coming the only question was when a joan outfit was coming and boy howdy did they deliver. i don't know if this one would have been as impactful if there wasn't already a mini-joan canon within their discography but because there have been years and years of build up to gerard going full joan, waking up and seeing this was pure vindication. also helps that i'm a big fan of the og joan fit at voodoofest in 2008 (2007?). love the change from the red skirt that's often associated with joan (especially in millais' painting) to a red cape so that instead it's chainmail all the way down. also there's something so striking about a chainmail gown. apart from the arm braces and the piece at the breastbone there's no real armour, even regular textiles that look like armour--i mean, practicality. you don't wanna pass out midway through na na na. also the BLOOD post-stake joan and the big ass buckle boots! i'm so glad someone got a visual on the boots bc the shoes often make or break an outfit for me and i was trying to figure out wtf they had underrneath the gown without sounding like a perv. the little joan sticker on his wizard noise tower. saints for girls. give this bitch a sword. if i talk about this too long i will be fully insane. moving on

2. high school english teacher who you homoerotically imprinted on but specifically with the jacket + glasses

feel like i do not need to explain this one. best they've ever looked unironically. it was all over for me the second i saw the pearl bracelet. the day after this happened i went to the heterosexual wedding of a high school friend in what i can only describe as a slightly more masc version of this fit which was likened by my friends to both a dead victorian child and a medieval knight. this look was my lockscreen until joan happened and genuinely my life has not known a single moment of peace since. i am not exaggerating when i say that on nights i knew there was a show i had trouble sleeping because i was tormented by the idea of gerard way out in public wearing a cunty little outfit. one night i genuinely woke up in a cold sweat and the first coherent thought was "what if an outfit happened" because i am Extremely Normal. i invented a brand new emotion looking at this and that emotion is 'gender horny' and no i do not know what that means. someone needs to take me out back and old yeller me i can't keep living like this. next

3. cheergate original flavour

i wasn't following the tour rabidly or having Hot Kit Emo Summer yet so the morning after cheergate og i was innocently scrolling through tumblr, saw fanart, and went wait. WAIT. and then mine eyes were blessed by images and the little gay people in my phone going from awe to horniness back to awe at breakneck speed. if this hadn't been on my day off i'm not sure how i would have coped. you think i would have been able to balance a cashbox in the wake of cheergate? i can barely do that under normal circumstances. sometimes gender is a horseshoe that swings back around to you with someone else's euphoria, sometimes it's contagious like laughter. the delicately puffed sleeves are what does me in specifically. puffed sleeves pristine white sneakers tiny little socks smooth ass legs. if i think for more than three minutes about the possibility of the cheerleading dress being the defining outfit of the return era i immediately get a tension headache. there are kids who got into mcr during the break up and this is going to be THEIR gerard....i need to put my head into a blender.

4. cunt dragula/count fagula

99% perfect recreation of bela lugosi in dracula 1931 HELLO?? (1% imperfect because the tailcoat is cut weirdly high both for a beat-by-beat recreation and 1930s evening wear in general and i cannot stop looking at it) i love this one bc it's just so Fun and the details are so theatre kid-y that i am reduced to self-recognition through the other. tinted hair gel. white foundation. drawn-on eyebrows. the way the cape swishes. we love to have fun here this one looked so fun to wear. even though i am not a big fan of dracula 1931 i am Not Immune to dracula 1931. glad there was a gud evening 9 years in the making :)

5. pool boy at the vampire mansion

fully-fledged character in 6 words. pool boy at the vampire mansion is like a mother to me. this falls into the category of outfits that i have deemed in my Big Spreadsheet of Tour Outfits (i am extremely mentally healthy thank you for asking) 'camp counsellor fits'. looks EXTREMELY comfy and even though it's so simple, everything works together so well even the clear face mask which i always forget exists. i love you tiniest shorts on planet earth. i love you crooked hand-lettered t-shirt handmade with love. i love you black converse. i would say more about this but the thing about living with your parents at 25 is that if my mother comes upstairs to drag me to the dinner table she will see me being extremely abnormal about gerard way online.

bonus points to: nurse (made me reread hanif abdurraqib's extremely wonderful black parade essay also gave me insane emotions re: my own concepts of health and chronic pain lol), lil ghostie (my close personal friend :^)), fruit bat drag queen (newark 1, would have been #4 if not for dracula)

#ari i am so sorry because you did ask for this but also you did not ask for THIS #every day of my life i am waiting for someone to ask my opinions on american rock band my chemical romance and today i am vindicated #standuptragicomedy #answered #mcr #long post #who will take one for the team and ask me my top 5 joan paintings i want to see redrawn with gerard #(this is a trap you do not want to do this)

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melvinthedepressedrobot · 5 months

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so my self-image is weird bc like. there's the way I see myself and the way (I think) others perceive me

and the last bit makes things especially confusing bc being audhd makes reading other people really fucking difficult and some of it just doesn't make sense to me

like as an example I try my fucking hardest to like... track how well I've passed depending on how I look and sometimes that shit just doesn't make sense to me??

rambling and photos under the cut

like, okay, 2013, the year after I came out when I finally had my first Boy Haircut and got a bunch of Boy Clothes bc I was obsessed with passing

and as far as I can tell, I did pass reasonably well

then skip ahead to 2016 when I finally got a hairstyle I liked FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE and had started experimenting w dressing more fem again and started T aaaaaaand I stopped passing

and even w my voice changing I still got "she" A LOT, consistently, no matter how I had my hair or how I dressed, masc or fem and even after top surgery in 2018 right thru to 2019 where in the first part of the year my hair grew out bc I couldn't afford to get it cut AND bleached (and was too afraid to bleach it at home) until I just got tired of being misgendered at work and got it cut w my natural hair colour and then SUDDENLY I PASSED PERFECTLY. NOBODY HAD A FUCKING CLUE WHEN I WENT TO UNI - this was also the skinniest I've been in my adult life, I still wore a mostly dark colour palette and didn't really have any facial hair yet

.....and then I went back to blond (and also started parting my hair rather than brushing it over) in 2020 and started getting misgendered again?? that was when i started really moving towards more pastel in my everyday wardrobe but a lot of the time I was def still more on the masc end of the spectrum, and also finally started showing a bit of facial hair (or, at least, a neckbeard) and also putting weight back on

and that just continued p much consistently since, no matter how I dressed or had my hair and at this point I genuinely have no idea how I'm perceived in the everyday - I've gone through several hair changes, my everyday wear is p much entirely pastel these days, I have fairly visible facial hair which I often emphasize w eyebrow powder/pens and I'm p chubby again and I can never really tell what I'm gonna get?? I've had days w shorter hair, no makeup and a darker, more masc outfit and gotten "she", but then I went out the other week in a full pastel outfit w a skirt and makeup and my pink/blue hair that's gonna hit my shoulders any day now and got an affirmation from somebody who thought I was a girl just for a second and then realised I'm not which. BLEW MY FUCKING MIND, THAT NEVER HAPPENS

and obv I try not to let how others, particularly strangers, perceive me dictate... well, anything, but at the same time it's disheartening to have spent a decade figuring out who the fuck I am, doing affirming things like hormones and surgery and dressing in ways that make me happy and then repeatedly get feedback from most of the world that it doesn't matter who I am, I look some kind of way so I must be something else

and especially when I don't actually know what the thing I'm doing "wrong" is!!! is it my hair?? my clothes?? my weight??? height?? the way i talk?? the way i stand???? I HAVE NO IDEA

i don't really have a point w this, it's just something i think about a lot and it puzzles me

#jamie's chitchat

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burinazar · 1 year

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under the cut, many words of an Ebil pondering whether it’s writing Wazukyan well or might be flanderizing the character by making him Care Too Much, in an attempt to overcompensate against readings where he Doesn’t Care At all:

i spent most of my initial viewing of s2 not particularly trying to understand what Wazukyan was 'really up to' as far as the motivations behind his actions bc i was too busy worrying about The Other Two Sages (as points of comparisons, i loved Vueko from episode one and liked Belaf from the same point but didn’t glom on to him SO hard until after ep7/8 and now I love them both so excessively much that it’s ridiculous.) But after finishing it and looking at the story as a whole it became clear analysis of that character was really rewarding in the context of the other ones i already liked, and now that i have/do try to put effort into 'getting’ him and became more interested in depicting the character as a result...lately I’ve become concerned that I risk adding to Boring Silly Readings Of Him.

there’s two interpretation that i think are not very interesting: ‘common fan take #1: he’s completely ruthless and uncaring, gives zero craps about Vueko, Belaf, Irumyuui, and likely the rest of the Ganja-tai, and only prioritizes his own wish to continue the journey’ (because this is simply not that interesting to think about and risks turning him into Bondrewd 2.0; though i also feel it is contradicted by some canon, but there is room for discussion there. feel free to throw an ask or message my way if this piques your interest or you’d like to Argue Politely over it) and ‘common fan take #2: LOL Wazuchad did Literally Nothing Wrong’ (this is mostly an attitude thing, and is distinct from ‘after consideration of the situation I personally believe his actions were justified’ or something. what i mean is people who meme about ‘Wazuchad’ are generally sweeping away the idea that there might have been any moral consideration to make at all and that is, again, boring. the entire arcs of all four characters (five actually, Fau too) fall apart as compelling if you aren’t even willing to consider the questions involved or accord any validity to not wanting Irumyuui to suffer.)

Readings i think are interesting tend to deviate from both of these either a little or a lot by adding complexity to how one views his goals, actions, and motivations, so that even if they may still land in the general category of ‘bad guy and did an indefensibly bad thing’ or ‘not a bad guy, did a bad thing but for compelling and human reasons’, he hasn’t been totally condemned or totally absolved on the way to either conclusion. Both of the flatter readings obfuscate the possibility he harbored genuine fondness for the other characters, and that’s what I want to push back on. I especially like thinking he cared about them a lot but this was counterbalanced by the need to save the rest of the crew (I always bring this up but it’s way too easy to forget 90% of the Ganja were already dead and drowned when they hit the Abyss, he can’t not have had thoughts about that?) and, of course, also his own ambition and desire (and yet in my reading his ambition was directly linked to the idea of a home for his people, not merely himself; the sense of homesickness and desire to journey on that Wazukyan articulates seems to be thematically linked to all of the characters in Ganja and be a cousin to the desire to see what’s at the bottom of the Abyss that most of the entire show’s cast feels). It’s complicated and sad and great.

BUT LIKE.

i’m afraid of accidentally creating ‘boring reductivist fanon #3′ if my depiction accords TOO charitable an interpretation to the guy and paints too rosy a picture of how much he cared about the others.

Like am I going too far in the other direction when I make him goofy and silly and a bit bumbling and genuinely caring, especially if I haven’t written all caps front and center in the same piece of fanwork that I understand the character has notably dark aspects to his actions and interactions with the others and the grim things his choices and his influence on them others’ choices ultimately lead to?

i don’t want to erase that he did stuff that makes your blood run cold, I just think it’s compelling to read the character as someone who did that while being very human and caring a lot about the others in the situation, because that’s a lot more interesting. I’m wrestling with this bc in the thing I want to finish next Vueko is thinking about how he was like a surrogate guardian to her at points in her life, and since it’s Vueko she obviously hasn’t forgotten anything he did towards the end of their time together and what it meant for her and her family and that comes up directly afterwards but I feel like someone could think ‘what is this story even doing, what is this apologism and flattening of Waz into some kind of friendly grandpa’. As much as I don’t want to see people Bondrewd him or Wazuchad him, I don’t want to Friendly Bumbling Grandpa him, which risks being boring and reductive in its own way. Alright that’s all, just wanted to ramble, input and comments from other san ken likers welcome tho.

#ebil writes #orphan hole tag #As Are Many Other Things About This Fandom For Me.....It Is All Vueko And Belafs Fault #i want a reading that is interesting for them but also don't want to mess up the existing characterization of him #also it is seriously a nonzero factor in how caring i tend to make him that he has Kotetsu's seiyuu #my hiroaki hirata based brainwashing #i just REALLY don't want to mischaracterize OR be a reductivist about any of the three sages #they're so cool and i definitely understand Waz the least #the most haunting reading that i still dont know how i feel about but definitely wouldn't mark as boring and flat is that he respected Vueko #as an individual and cared about her but DID NOT feel that way about Belaf and basically saw him as a tool. that one kept me up at night #considering that almost feels like an AU bc it's so far form how i see him but its a fascinating AU #if i ever make the threatened post about 'well i can see wazubela BUT WHAT IF--' i'm going to ahve to address how fucked up that would be #fucked up But Interesting #poor goddamn Belaf. <-- always saying this bc it can never be said enough

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onyourstageleft · 6 months

Text

tw: pet health, animal sickness, cancer mention

idk how to do a read more on mobile sorry y'all but this is your chance to scroll on

so Peggy has some lumps under her skin. we noticed them on Tuesday night, there's two of them close together on her hip. called the vet this morning and they got her in at 2pm and took a biopsy and they'll call me back either Saturday or Monday with what's going on, they won't speculate or anything, but I did the very unwise pet parent thing and took to Google and based on everything I can find it is most likely fibrosarcoma which is a difficult to treat cancer and also expensive bc it involves surgery and continuous radiation/chemotherapy for several months and frankly I don't care how much it costs I will go into all the debt for this cat, I have a 9k limit on CareCredit and am unafraid to max it out + my other credit cards it's not even the money that bothers me, but if I'm right about what it is the prognosis isn't great for long term health and that is going to break me. She's my baby, she's only 7, she was literally the only thing keeping me from going off the deep end at some points in college, she's supposed to meet the kids I want to have in a few years, she's been here for most of my adult life and I will absolutely lose my sanity if I lose her anytime in the next few years. she has to make it to 10, ideally she'd be around for another 10 years past that but I'm realistic, I know 12 is perfectly reasonable so that's what the goal has always been, I literally can't do this without her. and my partners love her SO. MUCH. Peyton dotes on her, he's only been around for 5 of those years but he is so so in love with this cat, she is our baby, I would be lost without her so uhh if this turns out to be what I am afraid it is, don't be surprised if long form rant text posts become more common here bc I will absolutely lose more than a shred of my sanity.

also I guess don't be surprised if you see some sort of fundraising post from me in the future bc while I am unafraid to max out credit cards those bitches will want their money back at some point and I am unfortunately not a rich bitch, although quite frankly that is the least of my priorities rn, I just want to do whatever I possibly can for my baby. logically I know that I've done what I can but the anxiety is running away with me rn. like what if the tiny spot I felt on her a couple months ago and then couldn't find again when I looked for it was this before it got big what if I could have caught it earlier I should have been more diligent in checking or made a note of exactly where the tiny spot was initially so even if I couldn't find it again maybe the vet could have? I know I didn't put it off substantially and I really trust this vet they've been great but I could HEAR her as they were trying to numb and biopsy the spots she was so angry at them and once they shaved the area it looks SO much bigger than we could feel, like we knew there was one spot but were iffy on a second one and you can see them so clearly now they're big and slightly discolored and I am afraid. thankfully she hasn't been acting any different like she was literally having zoomies this morning but the idea of not having her zooming around makes me want to crawl into a bog and be preserved for a thousand years okay

anyway i know I've posted pics of her at some point but it's been a while so idk what I tagged them or where to find them but if you believe in literally anything at all I would appreciate an appeal on her behalf like I know there are so so many bigger things going on but Peggy Sue is my baby. other alises include Soupy Peg, Miss Ma'am, Peggum, Pegasus, Peggle, Soupiest, etc if you would like to be specific.

okay I'm gonna go take a bath now and try to read a book bc I need to not be on the internet rn, let's all spare a collective thought for my sanity

#personal #tw animal health #tw cancer #(potentially)#i also haven't even told my partners yet what i think it might be bc i am so afraid to speak it out loud #i feel like they have also done the reseach tho and likely also found the same info #peggy sue

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rainbowcrowley · 8 months

Note

For the ask game: multiples of 12! 😊

thanks ruth!! <3

this is gonna be a LONG one, so i'll put it under a cut heh

(if you're reading all my answers just know that i love you forever and THANKS)

12: What time were I born

uuuh i remember my mom telling me this not that long ago but i can't remember lol. it was around 6 or 7 in the morning, i think

24: Favourite style of clothing

dark, gender neutral, nerdy, effortless

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

neither. i've never even had earrings. i'm too chicken to get actual piercings, tho i love the look. would love to get some tattoos, but money......

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

oh god no. i mean, i love them, but after moving out 6 years ago it wouldn't be easy to go back. my mom and i tend to go at each other's throats after spending more than 3 days together lol. (i am legally registered at their place tho - but i live in a sort of dorm/boarding home in another city rn)

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind. i hate being photographed. 💀

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

nope. would be a fun skill tho

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

halting time. no rewinding of forwarding it, just HALTING. just to have more hours to Do Stuff in a day. 🙃

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

nope. i would cut off my own hand before doing that. I was bullied on the internet and it was one of the worst things i ever had to experience. very traumatic and i still have to deal with the aftermath today ugh

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

DUH ofc. back in the day (2013....) i managed to binge-watch 10-12 doctor who episodes in ONE DAY. it was. a difficult time (mental health-wise) and i needed Distraction

120: Wore make up?

yeah.. but not like. seriously. stole some from my mom and tried it out when i was like 14 but never really got the hang of it. also it was (is) too much effort and too expensive AND a sensory nightmare. i like to paint my nails tho.

132: Been rejected by a crush?

nope. but that's bc i never confessed in the first place 🫠

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

a lil bit, yeah. good thing i live in a big city with lots of light pollution eh

ask me stuff!

#nice questions!! THANKS #ask game #answered #sirtadcooper

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minustwofingers · 8 months

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I'm austistic and I try to be mindful of my conversations with others and what they have to say and vice versa. The toxic situation I dealt with doesn't help matters because the person was very abusive and wanted me to be seen and not heard. So, in light of that sometimes I overcompensate and ramble on... So, I apologize for that and for any word choices that don't reflect what I mean to say and gives off a different tone or I'm not sure the right words to use here aside from that. With the arguments I have for my last message that concerns the Abby side of it, is complicated. For an example for me it is more towards your second observation as opposed to the first, with some assessments slightly in-between. Then, there is the assessments where, I can’t see them together due to everything that has happened in canon. Like for an example on Ellie's side, how can she adapt to a relationship with Abby after she kills Joel so brutally in front her where if you look closely at the golf club which I didn’t notice the first time around, you can see some of Joel's brain matter on at least one side of it, while she is being held down. Then, kills Jesse in front of her, nearly kills Dina while she is pregnant and seems to revel in it because that is the impression she gave me in my playthroughs, to before with Abby being okay with her father murdering her for a cure since he never got Ellie's consent before she was put under and there was no guarantee it would work thus why I use murder because that is what it is or can easily be intrepreted as. He was okay with murdering a 14 year old girl. Why did he not ask for Ellie's consent if he was so sure it was going to work and even then he should have gotten her consent? There is no excuse for that. Marlene can't speak for Ellie either, only Ellie can speak for herself. He didn't want her to say no and then leave, but Abby told him if it were her she would be fine with it. But, Ellie isn't Abby. Then, from Abby's side of it, Ellie kills Jordan, Nora, Alice, Mel and Owen, and threatens Lev at the end forcing a fight between them, and the list goes on, for both sides. So, while I can see character growth and them moving forward, given the impressions they have both given me, I can’t see them together. As for I how I feel about canon, aside from that is complicated, because there are a few things I would change myself when writing my fanfictions. Like when Ellie loses the parts of her fingers in canon due to Abby, in mine she wouldn't lose them at all. To name just one of them. I apologize for my ramblings, any repetitions and any poor word choices I have made in this message or past ones I have sent today. I appreciate you being as you have been because there are some who wouldn't be and it makes me afraid to say anything because of how they misinterpret what I am trying to say, and sometimes it brings me back to how that abusive person was to me because of how they went about it whenever I said something that is in disagreement to what they believe. I love your writing and you are a good person.

hello again x2 anon!! (i promise to keep this one a little briefer than last time!!)

first of all, thank you again very much for taking the time to read what i wrote...i was honestly not expecting you to bc it was very rambling and overly detailed, so it means a lot to me that you took the time to both do that and write a thoughtful response :)

please don't apologize for explaining yourself! i feel like it's really tough to get a read on what people say online, so i appreciate you taking the time to clarify your position since i feel like i really get where you're coming from now. i hope i didn't come off as too aggressive—like i said before, i just have a lot of thoughts on this haha and i hope the length of my responses come off as just interested instead of angry! (i love discussions about this sort of stuff because it really does make you think, so i just want to make it clear that i'm enjoying speaking with you/hearing your side and that i've never been angry/upset with you during this exchange). also you're welcome to write as much as you'd like to my inbox. as long as it's not like a full hate letter i'm always happy to see messages of any length in my inbox!!

before i get into the ellie x abby stuff, i wanted to return to the whole unhealthy relationship thing because i totally get where you're coming from. our experiences may not have been the exact same, but my abusive ex made me feel the same way and it was so horrible. i’m so sorry that happened to you :( i wouldn’t wish that kind of partner or relationship on anyone. i sincerely hope that you find (or have already found) someone who doesn't make you feel bad for explaining how you feel/someone who is still kind even if they misinterpret something <3

anyway, just some final thoughts now that i feel like i understand where you're coming from a little more:

i totally totally get what you mean about how gruesome the background is between ellie and abby and why that makes you uninterested in any sort of ellie x abby pairing. i don't mean to downplay that at all! i think we just differ in the fact that maybe im a little more morbidly fascinated with seemingly doomed pairs just because of the challenge it poses to developing a plot, which is why i was drawn to it. i think that maybe if i'd actually played the game and spent that much time with both characters, i might feel differently or like i feel the anger of both ellie/abby a little more personally instead of just understanding it as a plot mechanism

also i suppose this is a little detached from the direct ellie x abby ship but in my own personal opinion i will always believe that joel made the right decision to save ellie/kill abby's father. i get that some people like to analyze that decision a little more but that's something i've always been pretty black and white on tbh, so i think we're on the same page about that whole situation being majorly fucked up 😭

your comment about the missing fingers is SO real. me too. if i write a post tlou2 ellie ever she's gonna have intact fingers if it's the only detail i write in!!

last note about how i'd choose to write ellie x abby: i'll end up giving it a whirl once i feel like i'm more solid on the exact plot events of tlou2, but i don't know if i'll ever finish/write it. this is because it's totally possible that my characterizations of them actually do turn out to be super similar to yours in the sense that no matter what kind of situation i put them in, their relationship doesn't flow. i would never ever want to write a genuinely abusive or toxic relationship (messy and angsty sure; unhealthy and controlling never) because that's not something that i want to write unless it's supposed to be a story about how bad unhealthy relationships are. so i think that if i found that no matter how i tried to situate them, they still ended up unhealthy, i probably wouldn't post it/continue it.

anyway anon, thank you very very much for being so kind and having this convo with me...it's so fun to pick apart why we believe what we do/why certain writing choices are made. and thank you for being probably the most civil anon i've ever had a disagreement (even though this felt more like a discussion) with 😭

#dee overshares #much love!!#i appreciate you!

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derelictheretic · 2 years

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oc tag: song challenge!

Tagged by @hoesephseed @quentinbecks @thefathersbride and @adelaidedrubman !! Thank you guys <333

Tagging: @i-am-the-balancing-point @bl-beater @florbelles @strafethesesinners @jollybone @eur0paa-2 @shellibisshe @trashcatsnark @aceghosts

step 1 → create your oc (or ocs) in this picrew

step 2 → list 5 songs that inspired (or capture the feel of) your oc. if you chose multiple, feel free to pick your favorite or do songs for all of ‘em! (and feel free to list fewer or more songs if you want)

Putting under a read more bc it got long <3

Piper Vasquez

1. Creep by Radio Head

I want you to notice | When I'm not around | So fuckin' special | I wish I was special

2. Cherry Pie by Warrant

She's my cherry pie | Cool drink of water, such a sweet surprise | Tastes so good, make a grown man cry

3. Highway to Hell by ACDC

No stop signs | Speed limit | Nobody's gonna slow me down

4. We Will Rock You by Queen

You got blood on your face, you big disgrace | Waving your banner all over the place

5. Should I Stay or Should I Go by The Clash

This indecision's bugging me | If you don't want me, set me free | Just who the fuck am I supposed to be | Don't even know which clothes'll fit me

Anya Cherkov

1. Never Love An Anchor by The Crane Wives

I am selfish I am broken I am cruel | I am all the things they might have said to you | Do you ever think of me and my two hands | And wonder why | They never soothed your fevers

2. Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby by Cigarettes After Sex

When we dance in my living room | To that silly '90s R&B | When we have a drink or three | Always ends in a hazy shower scene

3. Swan Lake by Pyotr llyich Tchaikovsky, André Previn, London Symphony Orchestra

4. Bite The Hand by Julien Baker

Who do you think you are? | Who do you think I am? | What do you wanna say? | What do you think will change | Maybe i'm afraid of you

5. For Elise by Betoven

Blair Marie Bell

1. Oh My God by Adele

I'm a fool, but they all think i'm blind | I'd rather be a fool than leave myself behind | I don't have to explain myself to you | I am a grown woman and I do what I want to do

2. I AM WOMAN by Emmy Meli

I am woman, I am fearless | I am sexy, I'm divine | I'm unbeatable, I'm creative | Honey, you can get in line

3. whore by King Kitty

4. Candyman by Christina Aguilera

Well, by now i'm getting all bothered and hot | When he kissed my mouth, he really hit the spot | He got lips like sugar cane, oh | Good things come for boys who wait

5. You've Got a Friend in Me by Randy Newman (the Michael Bublé cover tho)

Heather Lucille Valentine

1. I am not a woman, i'm a god by Halsey

I am not a woman, I'm a God | I am not a martyr, I'm a problem | I am not a legend, I'm a fruad | So keep your heart, 'cause I already got one

2. Primadonna Girl by MARINA

3. cult leader by KiNG MALA

4. Power & Control by MARINA

I'm gonna make you fall | We give and take a little more | 'Cause all my life I've been controlled | You can't have peace without a war | Without a war, without a war

5. Fake Bitch by UPSAHL

#misc: tag game #misc: music #oc: Piper Vasquez #oc: Anya Cherkov #oc: Blair Marie Bell #oc: Heather Lucille Valentine #YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED I GOT THAT I COULD MAKE BLAIR IN THE MAKER AJSHSJDJDJDH #she also turned out the best so ahajshdjdn #For the songs they're all a mix of what they'd listen to and what vibes match their character #hence Anya having the two classical pieces. that's all she listens too ajsnsndnd #this was fun to do thank you for tagging me!! this was a nice wind down <3

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assaily · 2 years

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"new ask game for anyone who write fics: anonymously or not send an ask with one line from something I’ve written that really stood out to you or lingered with you"

It was the snippet you shared about howling at the moon with Luther and Diego and Luther angrily proclaiming he wouldn't leave five alone again, it really made me feel the emotion and feel excited about what is going to happen from where you left the story off. From this fic I also love the loneliness and insecurity five keeps trying to not think of when he goes thinking that maybe his family left him behind and it was his own fault for not covering his own back, and I just want to flip him upside the head.

And from 'Tangled in the hanging tree' I love five's internal monologue so much and the sibs pov in the whole situation and I just really love and miss the fic, I wish I could be more specific, but it's been a while since I read that one.

I really miss Tangled too, and still work on it in fits and bursts, but it hates me right now, so I’m letting it ferment. One day, I’ll figure out how to recapture whatever magic 2019 me had when they wrote those Fiveologues.

As for the Howling snippet, i think about that thing all the time.

I’m calling this part the Horrible Hospital Happening, and these snips may not even actually end up happening like they do. Also excuse the continuity error(s) with Viktor being there instead of Diego, I haven’t decided who’s gonna be the background sibling in this scene bc it’s mostly Luther and Five times.

Five had tucked himself into the corner of the room, between the cabinet and a monitor machine. His eyes looked bright under the mild mop of hair, but his hand holding the knife out in front of him shook.

The nurse turned worried eyes back to Luther. “He won’t let us get close.”

“Let us get him,” Viktor said, somewhere behind Luther’s right shoulder, but Luther wasn’t really paying attention.

Five’s glassy eyes had locked onto him, his mouth in a tight line and brows furrowed, but he was looking. Luther moved slowly and gracefully, no sudden moves, nothing that looked hostile. He made himself small, crouching down as the nurse got out of his way.

“You got this, Luther,” Viktor said behind him. “He’s been waiting for us.”

Luther tried with all his might not to let his breath hitch at those words, but it did anyway. Five had been waiting, waiting and watching, and suffering.

“Hey buddy,” Luther said, gentle and warm and he hoped it was familiar. Five looked too far out of it for him to be sure. “You know me, right?” He put a hand on his chest, afraid to scoot closer. “It’s Luther, Five. It’s your brother.”

The knife bobbed in the air, the shake in Five’s arm traveling into both of his shoulders. He shifted, face scrunching in that casual little wince he kept doing, and resettled himself slightly pitched forward. His eyes never left luther, but his face had relaxed into general confusion. “Luther?” he asked, voice broken and raspy.

“That’s right,” he said, sounding like he was talking to a toddler and hoping Five was too out of sorts to be mad about it. “I’m not going to let them hurt you.”

Some complicated twisted Five’s face, the knife pulling in and tucking against his chest. Diego’s knife that Five kept ending up with somehow. His face rested down on his knees and he curled himself impossibly small. “You’re not real,” he whined, soft and mournful. “You’re not real.”

“No, no, Five. I am. How do I prove it to you?”

“Go away!” he shouted into his legs, never lifting his head. “I don’t want to see you. I don’t want…” he was crying again, body trembling and tense and balled up so tight he looked like he could disappear in on himself. So small and vulnerable, holding himself together with strings and falling apart with sobs.

Luther couldn’t bear it, his throat tight and tears of his own slipping trails down his face. He wished he could take just an ounce away from him, whatever of his burden Five would let him shoulder. He reached out to the little trembling boy, his big brother who survived for them, and saved them, and broke for them, and now couldn’t even bring himself to believe that he’d really been saved himself.

The hand on his bony shoulder made Five flinch hard, startling so hard Luther felt bad. He nearly took his hand away, Five gasping as his head shot up to look at Luther. Wonder, disbelief, and painful, fragile hope shining back at him. He didn’t think much about it when he opened his arms, and he didn’t think Five was thinking much about it when he crawled inside of them.

“I’m not going to let them hurt you.”

Five tensed, shuddered in an awful, painful breath, and then melted against Luther’s chest. The breath came out in a quiet sob that rocked through both of them, Luther gathering up legs and his arms and holding him secure against him. Five held on in return, hands tangled in his shirt, body curled in and molded against Luther’s, desperate for every inch of closeness. Starved for it.

Viktor sighed in relief from somewhere else in the room. Five gave a sigh too, heavy and worn and impossibly tired.

#Howling is literally just an excuse for angst #i mean look at this crap #thank you for the ask <3 #nice things #tua fanfic

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morkofday · 1 year

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Soldier, Poet, King with the main trio of 3 will be Free? 👀? (for the edit prompt)

hello ♥

here is what you asked for!

tbh this request was one of my absolute favorite ones out of all the amazing ones i got. this instantly spoke to me, and i was soooo excited to get to this. so thank you very much. i am in love with this ♥

some more about the process of making this edit plus my own thoughts on it under the cut!

first of all, i am not quite familiar with the whole soldier, poet, king -concept. i have seen it around and know it's somehow related to a quiz but i have never seen anything more about it. so, when i first started thinking about this edit, i only thought of soldier, poet, and king as simply those and nothing else.

like that, my first instinct was to assign poet to shin. that was the easiest choice out of the three. he's the calmest one, a quiet and shy guy who likes arts and soft things. i felt like it was obvious and even once i learned what being a poet was really about, i thought this one was perfect.

bc shin IS the poet of the trio. he is the heart of them, the warmth of them (i included so many hugs bc of this). he is the one who fights with words and his mind rather than with his fists. it's a continuous theme in the series; why shin clashes with his father, why he connects with pp (and saves him), why he works so well with neo and miw. he was easy to place bc he was so loud about where he wanted to be placed.

and then came the problem of the other two. my initial plan was to make miw the king and neo the soldier, probably bc i liked the thought of miw being their leader while neo was the protector. miw is so strong it felt the king's title was something she deserved while i could clearly remember neo putting himself always between the others and any danger. but then i read a bit more about this whole thing and well, here we are.

miw is the soldier of this trio bc she's the one who always wants to fight. she has been hurt enough in her life to regard everything and everyone with suspicion. she doesn't trust ppl, doesn't let them close to her, and always tries to survive on her own first. she's prideful and hates to get emotional about things.

she's not afraid to confront others about the things they're doing wrong either. we see her fighting for others as well as for herself so many times in the series. especially fond she is of fighting for other oppressed women; a quality i thought fit the soldier personality very well as that shows how easily she sees everything as a battle. there is always a new fight to get into. there will never be peace.

with these thoughts, i was not sad to eventually give the king position to neo. it is... kind of obvious, now that i think about it. he's the glue that brings the trio together. he's the one who pushes into motion this whole chain of events and he's the one who leads the others through it. this is his crusade - and so he's willing to be the one who gets hurt or even killed during it. as i read from somewhere, the kings are there when no one else wants to be. they ask themselves, "if not me, then who else?" it seemed to be neo's continuous theme too. he was willing to put himself in harm's way just bc he thought it was something he needed to do.

so these are my thoughts! this is how this edit came alive. i tried to show all these sides of them, tried to show them happy and sad and struggling. tried to show miw being the fighter she is, shin the rational one he needs to be, and neo the heroic one he always jokes about being. i hope it shines through as well as the bond between them i adore.

idk if you had similar thoughts about their roles or if you disagree with my choices :'D but i had a blast with this edit! thank you once more for allowing me to do it ♥

(also as a final side note, i have zero knowledge about chess. my choices for those are solely based on vibes and what seemed cool; other than the king of course. also there's a very big difference with the vibes that come off of the english vs the finnish names for the pieces and it made choosing them even more difficult haha)

#truly was just so hyped about this one #also the whole concept of the edit came so easily #i hope you like how it looks!#promptrambles

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miamierre · 1 year

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hey I was reading your obj/Eli stuff (I know it’s been years) and I was wondering a couple things…

how did u get into them?

how do you write a ship when no one else is - like what motivates u?

how do u feel about them now??

I want to say okay they are amazingly written etc the characterization GOD keebevh but personally I always feel bittersweet when in a small ship fandom and quite sad when there are no longer any works for years. and gosh I shipppp it so much

oh my god. my love. hello!!! i literally did not even realize people still ventured back in n the nfl rpf archives to see yingyang!verse 🥺🥺 im so touched 🫶 and am so so happy to answer ur questions!!!! i woke up earlier than normal, checked my inbox n read this ask, and could not stop thinking abt it when i tried to go back to sleep, lol. so i'll put em under a read more bc i get the feeling im gonna be rambly

how did u get into them?

by watching the games, honestly. LOL. i always enjoyed their relationship on the field (eli threw more touchdowns to odell than anyone else in his sixteen year career, which is an insane fact considering they only played together for like....five of those years) and as a giants fan obviously i was like “YES I WANT FIVE MORE OF THOSE LITTLE BLONDE BITCHES” because it was so, so fun to watch them.

but what drove me to shipping them romantically was a moment i first caught after the giants/dolphins game in 2015. the giants won (something they RARELY do, especially during the O years) and like always, at the end of the broadcast, the camera kind of meanders around the field to catch some post-game shots. and i saw eli and odell huddled real close together. i couldn’t figure out what they were doing but i knew it was kind of sus u know. upon further investigation (aka me desperately searching youtube for game footage) i found it.

this.

and that’s where it really started. QBs always have really intimate relationships with their WRs when they’ve got good on-field chemistry and these two were truly, truly no exception.

how do you write a ship when no one else is - like what motivates u?

honestly i would say it was hard but tbh? it wasn’t hard at all. when you love a pairing enough and you SEE what they are enough, it’s easy to write because it’s all you think about. you know? i had a good little mini-circle around me about them which helped me generate the ideas, and i have always craved attention and validation so of course i was gonna post it to ao3 even if no one else cared. i wrote SO much more than the yyverse content up there, too, but i was terribly afraid of the way i’d put eli/odell on the filters section singlehandedly so i stopped lol. it all went to my e/o fic library archive on here (@eoverse).

it also made it so much better when people who DIDN’T care about them suddenly did because of my fics?? which was SUCH motivation, too. being the one to open someone’s eyes like that is a special privilege imo. it’s power but in like...a tender kind of way. like holding someone’s hand and bringing them into the light. i was so addicted to that feeling.

how do u feel about them now??

oh, they devastate me. for a while i was so mad at odell after he got traded because it felt like he left me (and eli, ESPECIALLY, considering the fact that eli didn’t even know he got traded until ESPN announced it like he rest of us. dave gettleman i am in your fucking walls) and it kind of ended on a sour note. they didn’t talk to each other for a while. they never won anything substantial together which just felt like a deeper knife to the gut.

and then i moved on. and discovered that eli is actually rearranging the guts of the quarterback who replaced him after retirement (the elidj agenda is real and insane and you should not ask me about it because i have written, if possible, MORE about them than i did e/o) and for a while, kind of forgot. but my love for eli/odell never really faded, i don’t think. it’s nostalgia. i miss when odell was young. i miss when eli played. i miss how they hugged every pre-game, i miss how they would bump helmets tenderly after every touchdown, i miss the weird little sus quotes like “take me home, 10″ because who says that. who.

and now with odell potentially interested in coming back to the giants after all these years i’m like....this is going to be like tearing open an old wound, huh. they were my whole heart for so long. they are my BABIES. they are the first fics i wrote that truly, truly meant something real to me. so i think i still love them. not the same way, of course, but like...is it ever the same after a tragedy like they had?

oh my god i’m so sorry i wrote you an essay you were just being nice and asking questions about yyverse THANK YOU FOR BEING INTERESTED AND READING I LOVE YOU

#i literally wrote an essay under the cut this is so embarrassing #the e/o power is real.#my 10 x 13 tag is full of insane shit too btw in case you did not know.#tagging this for quick reference for u<3 #10 x 13 #ask reply #Anonymous

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