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#bane
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Batman: The Brave and The Bold (2023-) #4 art by Belén Ortega
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hahchek · 2 days
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"I will break you!"
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animentality · 5 months
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Bane, Myrkul, and Bhaal might've succeeded if they'd picked these three instead.
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dailydccomics · 6 months
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DC's Hispanic Heritage Month variant covers by Pablo Villalobos
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calistozom · 7 months
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«Looking after children is easy»
Post-credits scene in a nutshell >w<
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adinafay · 5 months
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I like to think Bhaal spends the entire timeline of BG3 just so incredibly confused and absolutely pissy about why he can't convince anyone - even his most special, Chosen, purest of Bhaalspawn- to murder for simple murder's sake.
Not that Bhaal doesn't appreciate murder more generally, but also how in the hells is he supposed to achieve global-genocide when everyone, even his own idiot kids, keeps using his precious murder as a mere tool, a means to their own ends, ya know?
He has to be a helicopter-parent to Durge about it:
Pre-tadpole Durge is so in-want of connection that they have to be under constant supervision by their specially-assigned butler to try and keep them on task. ("Stop bitching and let me live vicariously through you like all the other sport-parents!")
Then, even that isn't enough to stop them from connecting with Bane's lil shit "Gortash" and eventually starting in with the crown/Absolute plan ("Why in the hells are we using MY MURDER to help fucking Bane with his fucking tyranny?!")
Shortly after that Durge goes and gets merc'd and tadpoled by the other one... ("Have I taught my children nothing!? Orin really should know well by now that it's not 'murder' if they survive...")
... And then - clearly still prone to frivolous connection - they fucking gang up with a bunch of weirdos only to head home with other, new bad habits like "thinking for themselves" and "the apparent intent to entirely trash the plan they insisted on making with Gortash!" ("If you didn't want to play you shouldn't have had me sign you up for the team! Get your ass back in the game! You already got your Deathstalker uniform and everything! Now stop embarrassing me and maybe I'll even give you a slayer form.")
And, while Durge is being a rebellious lil Bhaalspawn, Bhaal also has to contend with:
His cultists, who are apparently killing mostly just for notoriety and/or safety amongst themselves. ("Quit playing around! I assure you I do not give a single fuck which one of you did it or how clean it was so long as the murder(s) did happen.")
Orin, who is playing at being an artist and completely absorbed in her exploration of murder and maiming as novel media to express her innumerable daddy issues ("Yes, I DO still like your lobotomized bloodkin more; at least they never wasted my time asking me to put all their shitty artwork up on the fridge.")
And Bane and Myrkul, who are presumably laughing their godly asses off and/or absolutely raging at Bhaal's inability to keep anyone at heel and how it's interfering with their mutual plan.
TL;DR: Life is hard when you're The God of Murder and neither your employees or your children properly respect the family business and your frenemies mock you for it.
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banes-favourite · 2 months
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Myrkul: I give my chosen immortality.
Bhaal: I give my chosen an unbeatable monster form.
Bane: here's the world's largest dick idk
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satoshy12 · 7 months
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IRS Agent Danny
IRS agent Danny
The Joker looked at his goons and screamed, " Do it faster!"
Batman, who came through the window, said, " Stop Joker!"
Joker looked at his goons and said, " You all don't stop packing, Bats! I don't have time for you. I have to pay up; otherwise, I will go to jail for tax evasion!"
Batman;" What? "
Joker: " The IRS sent their new agent after me again! I own them for 36.000.000 dollars, and I don't pay; they will come with IRS levy permits!"
Danny walked into the place and said, " So Joker?"
Joker smiled a not crazy smile:" Here you have it. Not one penny less or more. Now Batman, you can put me in prison."
Batman wasn't sure what had happened as the Joker left into the police car.
Bruce looked at the young agent; he looked pretty young, between Jason and Tim's ages, wearing a fur-trimmed brown jacket, tactical military pants, and a knife holder. He seems to be looking at a list.
Danny, looking at his list, says, " So, I talked with Bane, Oswald Cobblepot, Harvey Dent, Red Hood, Roman Sionis, Victor Fries, Hugo Strange, Slade Wilson, and now the Joker, other then well as Pamela Isley, who is in prison for tax evasion for 2 years. They all paid. I think I am done with Gotham, so Metropolis is next."
And yes, Bane paid taxes on the money he earned from his drug empire.
Danny turned his face to Batman and said, "So, Mr. Batman, I heard your electric Batmobile is around $US1.5 million. So we should have a talk about your taxes."
Bruce had no idea what happened, but he didn't like what was about to happen.
It ended with Batman sitting next to the Joker in the police SUV.
The Joker looked at Batman, not sure what had happened.
"I want my phone call; I need to call Nightwing. I have to pay my Bat taxes."
Joker:" Hahahahaha! Smartly, you didn't try to run away. We all tried, but well, we'd rather fight you than him again."
In Arkham
Ivy is kind of a pariah, criminals don't like people who evade taxes. As the IRS send then their special agent. So it was her fault he was back in Gotham!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G56VgsLfKY4
Danny's clothes are like RE4 Leon's clothes
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writer-room · 1 year
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This one goes out to my big brained friend who said milfucker selina kyle supreme.
One Two
Oh, and a bonus; 
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graypark214 · 3 months
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ingkkantadia · 2 months
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bg3 headcanon on crack but what if the dynamic of the original dead three's chosen (Durge, Gortash, Ketheric) was also the dynamic of the dead three when they were still mortal?
Bhaal and Bane being lovers (but turned into bitter exes when they became immortal) and Myrkul being their unwilling third wheel. Jergal took one look at those three, foresaw the future, and internally went "this is gonna be fucking hilarious in a millennium or two".
Bhaal and Bane screaming crying throwing up at why their chosen are making kissy faces at each other. Myrkul facepalming at Ketheric because he knows history is repeating itself.
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bearhugsandshrugs · 5 months
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Ayo it's Gortash-conspiracy time, gather around.
Because this note you'll find outside the Zhentarim outpost at Waukeen's Rest is INTERESTING and led me down a rabbit hole. Uktar wrote a report for Keene about the upstart arms dealer Gortash and how he took over and replaced the existing networks. This is juicy for two reasons.
First, the Knights of the Shield. I had no clue who they were so I googled them, and hey, no biggie, it's only an organization that's been around for a THOUSAND YEARS, with a secret service leadership commited to the tenth (yes, you read that right) archdevil Gargauth (who was one of his enemies? You guessed it: Bane).
They were information brokers and political agents with a merchant front. And Gortash just annexed them. Took over their operations. Replaced them. The mind of this man. It really is no joke when everyone in-game talks about what a genius he is, because that type of shit requires not only planning, but a delicate hand to execute. It requires leadership and running a tight ship, and boy, do I find this interesting.
But second, and we already knew this but it hits me once again, the Zhentarim. Their leaders were associated Bane at some point but turned over to Cyric over history as well, with worshippers of Bane and Cyric in general being claimed by the other each time one of them was dealt a destabilizing blow. In consequence, the Zhentarim are listed as amongst the enemies of Bane.
Now to the tinfoil hat section of this. Unfortunately we have no date to this report, so it's hard to judge when Gortash started this. But I find it interesting how this all leads back to Bane again and again, how Gortash seems to wipe out organizations affiliated with Bane's foes. And it leaves me wondering, yet again, when exactly he got recruited or devoted himself to Bane. Was it during that time, when he wiped out those enemies and Bane took an interest in him? Or was that merely a test he had to pass to become the edict of Bane?
But then I'm also confused by Gortash's methods. Bane seems more tyrannical to me, whereas Gortash supplanted the networks. A tyrant might have made them grovel before him. Might have sowed fear and doubt and hate. Here, instead, Gortash just spins up his own operation. And he keeps doing that: He postures as this underdog noble man who worked his way to the top, he has this front, this act of being the hero (he even says so to Ketheric!). Being a hero is hardly something associated with outright tyranny, which would be Bane's classic modus operandi. Don't forget that it's not only about tyranny, it's also about fear and hate. Would you fear or hate your hero, your savior?
Do you know, however, whose modus operandi it would be to pose as a hero, only to dominate in the end? To infiltrate his oldest foe's followers, pose as his chosen one, only to subjugate them?
Cyric's.
He was "the god of lies, trickery, and strife, having previously held dominion over tyranny, murder, lies, intrigue, and illusion." His beef with Bane goes way back, so much so, that Cyric claims to have killed Bane before (oh, and he also killed Bhaal). He ascended to godhood as an exception granted by Ao, and took on all followers of (get this) Bhaal, Myrkul, and Bane. Now I'm aware I am fully in crackpot theory land. But how sweet would it have been if Gortash had actually been a follower of Cyric, not Bane; using the Bane-worship as a front.
It would explain why he's so ready to share his power with Tav/Durge (a true tyrant would never share power so easily – which is why I also think that if Gortash was actually a follower of Bane, he was trying to use Bane to his own advantage, which didn't really work out for him).
And Bane seems to have been skeptical of Gortash as well: He doesn't come to his aid in the fight against Tav/Durge, not even against the Netherbrain. Which is particularly juicy because Bane had the power to protect his chosen ones from psionic powers. (Yes. lol. Really) So if you take Gortash to the Netherbrain and the brain kills him with a thought, Bane could have protected him. And chose not to. Motherfucker
I know, this theory with Cyric has more holes than a Swiss cheese though, I'm fully aware, and I'm still learning the lore, so feel free to correct me. But it's fun to think about.
Anyway. Someone please release me from the chokehold this man has one me.
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kabuki-draws · 6 months
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Thinking about THEM 🩸💀💅
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biglugg · 7 months
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Can’t have a hulking behemoth themed blog without the late Robert “Jeep” Swenson included. RIP big guy.
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browsethestacks · 5 months
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Bat Fight
Art by Dan Hipp
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calistozom · 7 months
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Spoiler-notspoiler! I ABSOLUTEly love this game!!! >w< Also, I know this is a lil out of origin lore, but this "divine family" is now my headcanon.
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