#also alfred was totally going to give her that occasion

[aelswiths]

Aelswith being adorable in 3x01 🥹🥹

For @myrcnahlaedige

#the last kingdom #sevenkingsmustdie #tlk aelswith #she was SO cute in this episode #her and her boys #it was so cute #she 🥰 #I love her so much #I miss her so much #your honor i love her #also alfred was totally going to give her that occasion #she was so excited #it was so fucking cute #aelswithweek2023

[alfredosauce50]

Requests are closed, but this has been sitting in my head for months. A white picket fence-themed story with slasher undertones! This is a little different to my other posts (and longer) because it has a concept and build up, but I hope you guys enjoy it anyway!

Content warning: Slasher horror, adult themes, and overall fucked-upness. Viewer discretion advised. R18+ only.

The reader is referred to as she/her.

Yandere America headcanons

Everyone says the same things about him. That he’s friendly, charming, and reliable. The boy-next-door, the type you’d trust your drink with. What nobody knows is that it’s all an elaborate guise to hide his true colors. Once he reveals them, there’s no going back. You’re never getting away from him.

The worst part is, nobody suspects a thing. Everyone would think you’re the crazy one for accusing him. Thus, his untouchable reputation (and cunning) makes him the most dangerous yandere of all.

The office romance

Alfred is the most popular guy in the building. He’s a hard worker, a people person, and lights up the room with his smile. It feels like he has everything going for him: a great job, good looks, and lots of friends that can’t get enough of him. What he can’t seem to get is your attention.

You’re married to the Danish ditz from customer relations, Mathias Densen. HR usually frowns on that sort of thing, but you were cute together. Either way, you’re friends with Alfred for the same reason everyone else is. He’s charming. The only difference is that he makes an effort to see you outside of work—to see a movie, to grab dinner, or to catch up over some coffee.

“So, what do you say? Me and you at Mastro’s?”

You’re walking out of the break room when he jogs over, his blue tie swinging from side to side. He’s been going on about having a steak dinner with a friend, then complaining nobody wants to go with him—only because he hasn’t asked anybody yet.

“I don’t know, Al. Isn’t that place expensive?”

“Hey, it’s not like I’m paying for the both of us.”

“Okay,” You laugh gently, turning toward the cubicles. Everyone is clacking away on their keyboards or speaking into their telephones. Your husband is one of them, only he’s more animated than the rest, nodding away and chuckling every now and then. “I’ll try and get Mat to pick me up at ten.”

“Great! I’ll be sitting in my office pretending to do stuff until we get off.” He beams.

He likes getting on your nerves. It’s that one trick that gets you to feel closer to him. And it works. During work hours, he’ll drop by your desk to steal your snacks for a reaction. He will literally pluck a candy bar or pastry out of your hand and stuff it in his mouth while walking away. When you get mad at him, he’ll just laugh and go, “you’re not supposed to eat at your cubicle. I’m just saving your ass from trouble. If you don’t believe me, you can take it up to HR.”

If he’s not picking on you, he’s a total sweetheart. Alfred will make you coffee without being asked. Mathias usually keeps an eye out for stuff like that, doing favors for you when you need them, but not when he’s predisposed with work. He’s easily distracted, unfortunately. And Alfred is an opportunist. “You look tired. I’ll add in an extra bit of everything to give you the energy.”

Being closer to him, he can act more like himself when he’s around you. That means less of the laughing, small talk, and all that nonsense. He can actually give you a straight answer. You’re willing to let him explain, and if not, you seem to trust him for his judgement. He loves that. He thrives off validation. But by the rare occasion you do disagree with him, you mostly just poke fun at him. “Doesn’t that seem kinda stupid? Or am I just an asshole? I’m the asshole? Okay, fine.”

He starts obsessing over you. It’s refreshing to be around someone he doesn’t need a social battery for. Alfred is also lonelier than he’d like to admit. He can’t count how many superficial acquaintances he has. You’re an outlier, so he make it clear he’s high-strung about you in a ‘guy best friend’ way. He won’t stop competing with Mathias over everything as a joke. It’s really not. “So, is the husband gonna take you to Field of Screams this weekend, or am I gonna have to?”

He makes his attraction to you glaringly obvious. Alfred doesn’t care to hide it. It starts off subtle, like looking at you when he’s laughing in a group setting. Then, he’ll start gazing your way when you aren’t even paying attention to him. When it gets to that point, he has the balls to hold your waist when he’s around you. When I say he’s an expert at playing things off, I mean it.

That’s when he starts scheming. He will match his schedule with yours and sabotage Mathias’s. You start seeing him more during the work week, not knowing it was his doing. Alfred will catch you in the break room every day, making sure to get in every ounce of interaction there is.

What gets him to blow his cover is jealousy. And not from the third-wheeling he’s already doing. That, he can keep a lid on. But telling him you hope to have a baby soon? With your husband?Alfred will turn red in the face and lose his composure. His reaction is visceral, rambling about why you shouldn’t, that it’ll ruin your career, that kids aren’t economic, and any other bullshit reason he can come up with on the spot.

“You’re too young,” He laughs breathily. He’s already rubbing you the wrong way, but he drives the stake in with this comment. “And plus, do you really wanna have a baby with that guy? I mean, look at him—”

You slap him right across the face.

His head turns in the direction of your hand. He falls silent, his smile gone. That’s the end of your friendship. But to him, it’s the start of something else. And it isn’t half as holy as what you have with Mathias. Or what anyone has, for that matter.

“What, do you hate me now? Just say it and I’ll leave you alone.” Alfred gives you a side-eye.

“I really want to hate you.” You fume, wrapping your arms around yourself. Your voice is hushed to hide the hurt in it. “You’re an asshole. But I just want you to apologize, even if I shouldn’t talk to you again.”

“Fine. I’m sorry.”

When you argue

Alfred is manipulative. He victimizes himself or over-exaggerates to make it seem like something is not his fault. “I’m sorry for giving my opinion. I was just trying to be honest,” or “Great. Now I’m the bad guy.” are typical responses when you confront him. He hates being confronted. He will do anything to avoid the blame, even if it means pinning it on you. He never admits he’s wrong.

He needs to have the last word in an argument. He will go back and forth with you for hours if he has to. He only ever stops when you give up, meaning you storm out on him. He’s knocking on your door, pleading to work this out with you. Shut him out all you want, he’ll force himself into the room. “Babe, just hear me out. I’m sorry for being an asshole—wait, don’t lock the door—you locked the door. You know I have keys, right?”

If you’re crying, he turns gentle and affectionate. Kissing, hugging, whispering how sorry he is for hurting your feelings. Alfred then makes it up to you with a romantic dinner, a movie night, or flowers. Even then, he still won’t double-down. He only feels bad for making you cry, not for the point he’s making. Egocentric is his middle name. He thinks his opinions are always right, and can’t see things from another perspective.

Psychology

He has a sense of entitlement like no other. Being close to him will give him the confidence to do anything. He will go from a friend to a homewrecker pretty fast. Why? Because he can. It comes from his undying belief that you’ll always forgive him. That you like him enough to let everything he does slide. And he won’t think twice to take advantage of your soft spot for him.

He has a major superiority complex. Alfred loves what he is—his intelligence, charisma, and wit. He also believes he’s far better for you than Mathias is. What he has with you is more special, and he’s dying on that hill. “You can be with him in another life” is bullshit. Fuck that. Having a husband won’t stop him from chasing you, let alone your rejection. You just need to give him some time. You’ll warm up eventually.

He’s mastered the art of seduction. Once he admits his attitude is out of jealousy, he will try and get you to give in to him. If he can kiss you, or better yet, get you to have sex with him, your marriage will be over. He’ll have you all to himself. “I didn’t want you to have his baby because I want you to have mine. Okay?”

Alfred is very traditional. He loves the idea of having a nice big house in the suburbs. He has a thing for kids too, so it’s no wonder why he freaked out so much in the first place. He’s also happy to play along with gender roles, however obsolete they are. He wants to be the provider. That’s one thing he mentions to persuade you to dump Mathias and marry him instead.

He’s obsessed with his image. Alfred needs to look like a perfect poster boy to compensate for everything he’s thinking about doing, or what he’s already done. Being admired is a coping mechanism for him to be at peace with himself. He’s deluding himself that he’s a good person. There’s a practicality of a good reputation too—he can avoid any and all suspicion.

What’s unique about him is that he never ‘snaps’. He retains a level-headedness throughout, even while doing the most unsound things. Making threats, stalking, you name it. He can look Mathias straight in the eye and say, “I’ll kill you,” before smiling and playing it off as a joke. It’s not. He’s already thinking about how he’s gonna do it.

He feels no empathy for his victims. There’s a ‘necessity’ in his actions, and he refuses to think they’re really just violent impulses. He associates aggression with unrefined criminals, which he feels he’s above. He’s too clever and classy to be a criminal. He’s too ‘in control’ of himself. Alfred could be the most dangerous out of all the prisoners behind bars, but he’d get pretty pissed being treated like the same—like an animal.

He’s a true-blue psychopath. It’s hard to gauge how much love he’s capable of, but his obsession with you goes without saying. Keeping you in his grasp is all he can care about. Controlling how the world sees him will make sure of that. Killing anybody in his way is just maintenance. There’s a satisfying finality of death, the absolute silence of possible witnesses. His victims will never get him caught if they’re in the trunk of his car. The soil in his garden. When they let out their last breath, all they see is the million-dollar smile that everyone fell for. It’s a final display of power, a cruel reminder that he will never be caught.

His first target is your unassuming husband. The trigger is simple—your plans to start a family with him. Alfred needs to get rid of him before that happens. He will study his schedule before following him in his car. When Mathias is alone, he will sneak up from behind and hit him in the back of his head with a bat. Alfred will pack his body in his trunk like he’s packing for Summer.

He’ll comfort you while you’re grieving your husband’s sudden disappearance. When you’re anxious in the middle of the night, he’s more than happy to talk to you over the phone. Alfred is now closer to you than ever, and makes it a habit to swing by and keep you company. What he can’t change is how you feel about Mathias. He’s long dead and gone, but your love for him is undying. Sometimes, you might even cry about how much Alfred reminds you of him.

That’s how he comes up with this: impersonating and replacing your late husband. An opportunity comes along when you get in a car accident. Alfred rushes to the hospital to see you, only for the doctor to inform him of the brain trauma you endured. You have retrograde amnesia; you can’t remember major details about your life. Not your friends, family, or a Mathias Densen being in your life. Alfred would be a fool if he didn’t take advantage of that. He will sit by your bedside and lie that he’s your husband, the Mr to your Mrs.

Home life

Alfred is a con artist. Not only will he convince you of your new marital status, he’ll get rid of any evidence of Mathias being in your life. He’ll photoshop his face out of your pictures and replace it with his own. It’s easy to do because they look similar. Then, he shows it to you to ‘refresh’ your memories of him. You’re sitting in your hospital bed, bonding with him over events that never happened. Not with him, anyway. “And these—” He flips through a photo book before wiping his eyes. “—these are our wedding photos. They’re really, really pretty, I know. We rented out a National park and everything.”

He takes you ‘home’ to the middle of nowhere. The house is a huge, rustic, and gorgeous manor in the mountains, i.e., miles away from your next door neighbor. It’s the perfect getaway for fresh air, quiet, and enjoying the wilderness. Alfred can live the life he’s always idealized, and with the woman he’s idealized it with. He won’t have to worry about anybody finding you here, either. “Once you get a little better, we can try out the pool. It’s heated.” He grins, turning to you with a spatula in hand. You’re sitting in the patio while he barbecues some meat. As for the apron, it’s a bright pink one with ‘kiss the cook’ on it. And you do, thanking him for how sweet he’s being.

He’s a dedicated husband. Alfred is incredibly sensitive to your mood, and will do anything to keep you comfortable. He has no problem going to work, doing the chores and being there for you when you need him, especially while you recover. You worry you’re not doing enough, but he always assures you otherwise. All he wants is for you to get used to moving around on your own. Deep down, he knows that having you is more than what he deserves. Being the perfect hubby is almost like his redemption for what he did.

He works on himself. He can’t ruin what he has with you, so he tries to mellow out his more undesirable traits—narcissism, apathy, etc. Alfred will go to therapy for it. Separating from him isn’t on the table. Ever. What are people gonna say when you tell them you divorced a man you never married? What is Alfred gonna do when they tell you about your real husband? Keeping you happy is his number one priority, and he’ll feel good while doing it.

Alfred manages all your affairs. You don’t know where everything is, all your files, documents, and important passwords. You don’t ‘remember’ them, apparently. But that’s no problem. He can handle it. He becomes the more dominant one in the relationship, being responsible for the bills and bureaucratic side of things. There’s nothing you can do without asking him first, but it never feels restricting, or demeaning for that matter. He’s always kind about it, doing things for you and taking the lead, so you feel protected.

He’s very sensual. Alfred values the physical aspect of the relationship, and, of course, the time he spends with you. He loves taking you on long walks where he can just hold your hand and ramble about all the animals he wants to find. Deer, chipmunks, even butterflies. He loves it when you take off his glasses just to kiss him. Suddenly, he doesn’t want to look for animals anymore. “Wanna go home and kiss in the pool?”

He likes sleeping in on Sundays. That gives you the chance to get up and make breakfast for him. Alfred is a pretty heavy sleeper, but it doesn’t take long for him to wake up when you’re not next to him. He will get out of bed, throw on a robe, and saunter into the kitchen with the worst bed head of the century. While you’re frying up some pancakes, he will hug you from behind. “Can you put in some chocolate chips for mine?” Alfred mumbles, squeezing you tighter. You ask him to let go of you so you can get it for him, and he’ll just change his mind on the spot. “Nah.”

He has to be in the same room as you. The house is pretty damn big, but it doesn’t feel like a home when he can’t be with you. If you’re folding laundry in the bedroom, he will walk in, flop onto the bed, and clack away on his laptop. If you’re watching TV when he comes home from work, he will put his head on your lap and take a nap. Alfred is clingy when he’s tired, but who doesn’t sleep better when they’re around loved ones?

He’s the most affectionate when he wakes up in the morning. Not only is he comfortable in bed, he’s turned on by your smell. You’ve been under the covers with him for hours, so your scent is the strongest now. Alfred will cuddle you for a good hour or so, kissing you until you memorize the taste of his tongue. He also has to deal with morning wood, so morning sex becomes a bit of a routine. It’s the first thing on the menu, after all.

Not a month goes by before you find out you’re pregnant. Either from him, or Mathias. You think it’s Alfred’s. Alfred doesn’t know that, though. But it’s not like he’s gonna check. A paternity test could potentially be evidence for his crimes. Either way, it doesn’t matter. He’s excited to be a father, and there’s nobody else out there that can claim the baby is theirs. The baby will look like him too, so it won’t make much of a difference.

He’s happy, you’re happy, and Mathias has germinated into a flower. There’s a pretty patch of daisies in the backyard, which you see Alfred tending to every now and then. He’s picked up gardening as a hobby ever since he moved here.

“I didn’t know you liked flowers,” You comment mindlessly, staring into the yard from the balcony. The daisies sway lightly to the breeze, and you stand watch. He’s hugging you from behind, kissing your head and cheek. “They look really nice, by the way.”

“Nice enough to not be dug up, I hope.”

“Why would I dig up something you planted?”

“You wouldn’t.” Alfred smiles. “You wouldn’t.”

#Happy Halloween 🎃 #this is probably the most fucked up thing I’ve written so far #Goodbye Mathias. enjoy being a flower I guess #hetalia #hetalia america #aph america #hetalia headcanons #headcanon #alfredosauce50 #hetalia fanfiction #hetalia x reader #axis powers hetalia #axis powers ヘタリア #yandere #yandere headcanons #hetalia fanfic #america x reader #alfred f jones #aph denmark #Denmark x reader

[recentanimenews]

Accomplishments of the Duke’s Daughter, Vol. 5

By Reia and Haduki Futaba. Released in Japan as “Koushaku Reijou no Tashinami” by Kadokawa Books. Released in North America by Seven Seas. Translated by Andria Cheng.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, isn’t this series eight volumes in total? And yes, it definitely is. That said, this fifth book is the final one of the main series, resolving most of the plot points and wrapping up the love affair between Iris and Dean. Gonna be honest, it feels a bit rushed. This is very odd, as this comes from a webnovel, so by definition should not have to worry about “the book isn’t selling so well, wrap it up next volume” woes. That said, it still feels rushed. Leticia’s subplot is not exactly out of nowhere, but I wish we had another book to develop it more. Alfred’s fate is handled as dramatically as possible, and certainly devastates Iris, but the reader is just sighing and going “uh huh”, and I’m pretty sure the author knows this, so the impact is lessened. It’s a decent book, it just is not quite as good as previous ones.

Tasmeria is going to war, which means Iris has to return to her domain to prepare. Good thing, too, as her port is one of the first to be attacked… by a completely different country. Is this related to the proposal she got last volume? There’s also the problem of Alfred also having to go to war, as when you’re the recent victor of a throne war you don’t sit back in the palace and let others fight for you. Unfortunately, this turns tragic when Iris hears the news that he was killed by an archer’s arrow. Devastated, she loses herself in grief for a bit before managing to pull herself together in time for the rest of the war to wrap up smoothly… thanks in great part to her mother’s secret identity as the most feared warrior in the land. (Secret to Iris, at least.) That said… is Alfred/Dean really dead?

The best scenes in the book are probably a) the ones with Iris’ mother Merellis, who is sort of what happened if the “ohohohohohoho!” ojou could also kick your ass and stab you, and b) the subplot with Edward and Yuri. By this final volume Iris’ past life in Japan is not even mentioned once, and the villainess part has long been thrown out the window. It briefly comes back here, though, as Iris and Yuri have a final confrontation and Iris states bluntly that the fact that Yuri is afraid to trust anyone is what led to her downfall. If Yuri had confided in any of her love interests, particularly Edward, things may have been different. Edward and Yuri’s story also impacts Leticia, who is essentially taking over the entire country this book, and for the most part doing it regally and stoically – though the cracks do show on occasion. I wish we’d seen more of her.

I also wish we’d seen more of Marellis’ past, but that’s being taken care of, as the next volume will tell us her story. Till then, this is the end of Iris’ story, and she’s happy, but I’d give the book only a ‘satisfactory’ as a grade.

By: Sean Gaffney

#Anime #News #Manga Bookshelf

[aalghul]

Sorry rambling thought, but there was some tags between one of our reblogs about how those "Everyone changes sides to Jason cos of the Batarang" fics being unsatisfying and I agree.

So I ended up thinking about how the characters might more realistically respond to it while avoiding status quo is god or everyone just being like, awful and here's my take:

Barbara is furious, she doesn't approve of Jason's crime lord stuff, but even ignoring what the Joker did to them both, she grew up around cops and she tutored Jason and has long since outgrown fanish devotion to Batman. Culturally, personally, ethically she is not gonna be OK with any of this and likely cuts all ties to Batman outside of 'world is ending' necessity and may at least try to reach out to Jason, though she wouldn't tolerate him 'falling off the wagon' into crime again. and may not be able to shrug off what he did as Red Hood.

Dick is similarly angry, he did care about Jason, and likely has no small amount of guilt for how things went down for him as a kid. Not helped by his elder sister syndrome making him feel he has to compensate for Bruce's failings. He likely stops talking to Bruce entirely except to try and pressure him to quit being Batman and also tries to get any sidekicks or kids away from him and 'may' reach out to Jason but would prioritize Tim and Damian.

Cass. Is. Livid. She feels he betrayed his own ideals and the symbol and wants him to step down now. She doesn't have an interest in contacting Jason except to send him to prison, but Batman taking seemingly lethal action (Regardless of how fucked up his head was or the richoete) would feel like a betrayal, especially if he never told anyone and made no effort to help Jason.

Steph has no ties to Jason, but probably 'gets' him and his ideas better than most and so would probably be like "if I see him on the street and he's not committing crime I'll be nice" but otherwise she mostly just loses whatever affection she still had for Bruce and cuts ties to the symbol unless Cass takes over.

Damian... Is complicated, but given he has no ties to Jason, I think his main takeaway would be something like. "If we betray fathers oath, he will put us down for this betrayal" cos that's the kind of thing Ra's would do and he'd be a lot more leery of Bruce afterward and self conscious.

Tim, that's harder to say, if Jason did go and beat him up (Which always felt weird) He'd probably be less bothered than most. And even with or without that probably still less bothered given he has leaned into potentially killing on more than one occasion and is very devoted to Batman. He's not above taking issue with Bruce for perceived betrayals, but those tended to be personal over ideological s (Shrugs)

Alfred would probably be disappointed, but given my disinterest in "Alfred is the best" and the fact he tends to prioritize Bruce or Tim over most of the other kids... Yeah I don't see him jumping ships. Or if he did, he'd just quit and retire again over do anything more complicated. Though given he is willing to kill he might be less put off by Jason than some of the others.

Bruce... Honestly no idea how he'd react to being called on this.

The writers never really seemed to think it was a problem and while it can be seen as an accident born of him being at the end of his tether (waves hand) its kind of a mess and feels very off given his previous obsession/guilt and love for Jason, poorly expressed though it was.

I wrote a whole thing in reply to this and then tumblr ate it cuz I forgot to draft it but whatever. The condensed version: Exactly! This is perfect and in character for every character. I can assure that because I hate it! I 1000% agree that this is how the canon version of all these characters would react. Dick will always prioritize Tim and Damian, Cass doesn’t give a fuck about Jason but has her own code independent from Batman, etc. Alfred hurts my heart cuz my (totally fanon) version of him loves Jason but yeah. Absolutely correct. Bruce wouldn’t be able to tell us how he would react so I don’t blame you.

The whole thing is an insult to Bruce’s love for Jason, and Batman’s skill cuz why is he suddenly fucking up a shot in such close proximity? It was garbage but it happened so if we’re addressing it at all then do it right.

#it’s such a difficult thing to discuss that i think ppl should just Not if they can’t

[writing-blog-iguess]

Do you have any headcanons about the insecurities fic you wrote about? I can't help but headcanon a lot, like:

both Harley & Ivy enjoys watching reader finishing her food, they also call her their mom since reader has been making them food since their first meet (Harley loves her egg sandwich, while Ivy was the baked potatoes bread)

Alfred always bakes matcha swiss roll with red bean paste or pastries that's easy too shallow with reader (so that she could shallow without feeling like choking and needs to drink a lot of water) whenever she stops by and keeps giving him hugs which he gladly return it everytime, the Alferd&Y/N's hug, is what everyone comments it

Dicks showing pictures he took of seven years old (a journey of Y/N's growing he calls) and then reader to all his teammates and the league as soon as he learnt the engagement's finally announce 'Look at this! Can't you imagine?! She's my little sister! This is when she seven years old! It's very heartwarming right blah blah blah... " and that's how the other superheros and older Teen Titans and Barbara knows how much Dick adore his future little sister-in-law who's s cinnamon roll

Sassy and baddass way to talk for so people won't dare mess up with her confidence (Jason help her built up, after he met her and quick into adoption of her, siblings!) Not that he would ever admit, Jason will sent glares to whoever who diss Y/N's like to children picture books (for example, The Guardians of Childhood aka inspiration of Rise of the Guardians movie) come on, his little sister had great taste in books!

Tim forbid her drinking coffee when they first met and even after (since he nearly caused a seven-years-old gone missing in the manor after the reader can't fall asleep decided to have a exploration situation) but will make it for her sometimes later after she used to it, made account for art websites she wants to register that so she can admire arts but underage back when childhoods, so he used it under his own only name (defiantly annoymus, and no, it's not illegal website) and every then and how

Makeover and dress-up with Barbara, Stephanie and Cassandra after they learnt of her (which they give Damian few lessons of 'how to treat the girl you like' with Dick who's extremely enjoy it, Jason and Tim who's enjoy the show all day), in the end, all heads to movie since it's sister bond time and apparently, the ideas of XL caramel popcorns and coke are the best choice!

Bruce pat or ruffle her hair softly everytime they met, a habit since the day he had ten years ago when she's seven, a touch of 'my daughter is growing up' feel will seldom appears in his heart

Damian from straightly ingored to slowly falls in love with reader after everytime he saw her sincere smile whenever she enjoyed Alfred's food heartily (like this, but a more faintly heartwarming one haha, at the very last pic, not sure if you could see it, so here's another link you could try out☺☺ )

Innocent, 'naive girl playing tough' charm whenever she and Damian together alone (first kiss, cuddling, hair massaging, teasing, which he finds not annoying because it's how really she is, and he enjoys keep on trailing and turn on her wildness)

How reader slowly felt left out though it didn't really occur me, just the thought of Batfam night activity and how we're isolating from each other slowly and inoccasionally when growing up just made me feel that way, you know, the feelings of it's not the same like it used to anymore😞😞

And once again, thank you so much for accepting my request at the beginning, I've been having this thought in my mind but I just couldn't write it, I'm so glad you accepted it and it's totally the way I want☺☺ (And about part 2 Talia which you accepted it too, I hope my words didn't scare you out lol... I'm too exciting that day...) Hope you have a very good day ahead, author!

Tumblr really needs to let me know when I have something in my inbox, I swear.

Of course! I loved writing it, and I’m glad you enjoyed it. No, your words didn’t scare me lol, I’m just outlining part 2 and I hope you love it just as much. With that said, and you don’t mind the wait, send in your ideas! I love reading them.

Okay, onto the headcanons! I love these! I put mine under the readmore, there's a bit;

Y/N didn’t have the best home life. Like I’m not saying abusive, just her parents neglected her a little. And it didn’t help that her whole life was planned for. So when she met Harley and Ivy, they basically went, you’re mine now no take backsies. And y/n just rolls with it, because through them, she finds out what it feels to be loved by someone who cares about you. This of course, she keeps from her parents and the day she turned eighteen, she moved out and it was a lot easier to hang out with those two.

Ever since knowing Harley and Ivy, y/n’s been slowly getting out of her shell. When she starts to hang out with Jason, she becomes more confident. She has Jason wrapped around her finger without even knowing

The girls love her, everyone loves her and Damian’s just, why

She loves cooking, and she even swaps recipes with Alfred. (even from the beginning of the whole arrangement) she became fast friends with Alfred first before everyone else.

y/n has known Damian since his first day of school. But I’m not going to lie, y/n was kind of scared Damian.

She got so offended when Tim took away her coffee when she wanted to try it. And when she became a regular coffee drinker, they would talk about different coffees they had tried and compare notes.

When the arranged marriage was first brought up in conversation, there was a lot of protests. Especially from Dick and Damian, but Bruce just shrugged saying that it was a good match. And if they don’t get married in the end, than that’s fine. Everyone was very confused but stopped bringing it up

They have theories though about the whole thing, the most popular one in the manor is that Bruce is looking for the next Robin when Damian hangs up the Robin cape to be someone else

When Bruce announced that, everyone did their own research about y/n. Everyone but Damian agreed but she must be protected, though it kind of blows up when they kind of cast her aside when she started hanging out with them at the manor, (but that’s not until later)

She and Damian have lunch together everyday at school, much to Damian’s displeasure. And he’s mean to her at the beginning, ignoring her and whatnot. She doesn’t do anything cuz she hates this setup just as much

But slowly, she starts to catch feels but keeps it to herself.

As you said, Damian takes longer to fall in love with her. And its one of those moments when she looks at peace within his family and it just hits him like ‘oh. Oh no I’m in love and I can’t tell anyone this’ and he doesn’t. So up until they confess to each other, their just pinning after each other and people who aren’t family sees that their in love but no know says anything

However, they do get more cuddly when they’re alone. Like, they don’t kiss or anything. But when they have movie nights, y/n’s curled up on the end of the couch with Damian’s head on her lap. And she’s always plays with his hair, of runs her fingers through it and Damian has discovered that it feels nice and helps him to de-stress

She knows when he’s stressed about something, so her just pats her lap and he grumbles about it but is secretly happy (they have been caught on multiple occasions by his brothers and they chooses to ignore them

She’s been so use to feeling alone, that being with people who care feels foreign to her

When she starts to feel like she’s alone again, she doesn’t see it until it’s too late

It starts off slowly, the fam is to busy with missions and saving the world that they kind of forget they she doesn’t know, and when she comes over, their not there or just brushes her off when she is. And she’s tried to talk to them, cuz she’s spend years being a part of their family but then one day it stopped.

But they just brush her off and she’s reminded about her parents so she stops pushing and then altogether stops going to the manor.

No one really realizes at first, only Alfred, and when they do, y/n had already broken off the engagement.

#damian wayne x reader #damian wayne x fem!reader #batman #arranged marriage au #headcanons #robin #damian wanye #i answered a thing #anonymous

[itsmeevie01]

Bio!Dad Bruce Day 14-Gala (Part 1)

ummm hi? i just wanted to give yall a huge heads up that this IS part one of two, and part two will be added when i have time to go back and finish. both my computer and my phone are acting up, and my tablet has a faulty keyboard. that said, im going to work to get things back on track. 

Two days after Christmas, the manor was buzzing with activity. The Kents had arrived the day before, and now everyone was prepping for the annual Winter Gala. Marinette was standing in her room, hands on her hips, glaring at her father as he tried to convince her that no, Marinette, the gala is not that big of a deal. down the hall, Tim and Damien helped Alfred sort through the myriad of suits and other formal wear that the siblings would be wearing the next night. Jason had left on ‘business’, while Dick was watching over the people brought into finish decorating for the occasion. Once the boys’ clothing had been sorted, Alfred moved on to check on Cass who had been studiously avoiding all activity related to the Gala.

In the Crewe Group Chat

Kim: Mari, when do you get back in town??

Chlo: M, there’s damage control to do, do you want me to wait for you?

Max: Marinette, you may want to check your Instagram. I know that you avoid social media in Gotham but…

Chlo: MARINETTE CHENG-WAYNE

Chlo: Pick up your phone

Chlo: MARI

Alix: Chloe, chill.

Alix: there’s only so much we can do if she’s busy today.

Kim: we need to take care of this somehow though.

Alix: do we have ANY OTHER WAY to contact m?

Adrien: why do I feel like I’m missing something very important?

Max: have you checked the news lately?

Adrien: I only really check AkumaWatch, why?

Max: check international news

Adrien: is… is this what I think it is? (Attached is a screenshot of international gossip. At the top of the page is a picture of two teens in hoodies moving away from an airport. They are dragging suitcases and have their heads down to avoid attention. The boy’s hood is thrown back, and his well-known blue eyes are glaring at the photographer. Above it is the title has Timothy Drake-Wayne finally found love? The second screenshot is from farther down the article where there is a picture of Cassandra Cain-Wayne, Damien Wayne and Marinette hurrying along a sidewalk completely bundled up. The caption reads could this be Tim Drake-Wayne’s mystery girl? Who is she?)

Chlo: YES

Chlo: and its gala day so she’s going to be busy af anyways.

Adrien: What do you mean its Gala day? There’s only one Gala today?

Chlo: Duh. Mari is going.

Chlo: Keep up, Adrikins.

Alix: oh god

Alix: does anyone know how her dress turned out? She had been freaking out about it last I heard, and we all know how much M puts by first impressions.

Adrien: Ok, I’m still really confused? There’s only one Gala today? The Wayne Winter Charity Gala, which is really exclusive and a huge to-do? What Gala is Marinette going to???

Nino: dude

Nino: please

Nino: don’t be oblivious.

Mari: what did I miss?

Chlo: DID YOU SEE THE NEWS?????

Mari: um…yes? Jason has been having a ball with all the press. Why?

Chlo: I thought you were trying to be low key?

Mari: tonight

Chlo: IM SORRY??? WHY AM I ONLY HEARING ABOUT THIS NOW????

Alix: well, it’s a good thing you have so many influential friends who keep ending up at the same Galas as you, Mari

Adrien: ok, I’m still confused

Chlo: your going to the Winter Gala, right?

Adrien: yeah? We go every year. The only entertaining part is the fact that the Wayne kids always fight. Otherwise it’s all snobby rich people.

Chlo: I’m taking offence to that, since Alix and I have also been going for years.

Alix: seconded

Mari: to be fair, you both tend to hide away and prank people

Adrien: wait. That was you two?

Adrien: And Marinette, how do you know that?

Mari: omg

Mari: I give up sdjkgb

Class Group Chat

Lila: guys! My friend reached out to me…

Alya: wait! Which friend? Is it…?

Lila: yes! Its Maralynn! She’s sooooo excited about her family Gala tonight!

Alix: Maralynn?

Lila: ok, you didn’t hear it from me, but that mystery girl? Seen at the airport with THE Tim Wayne? That’s her! They’re actually twins!

Chloe: oh! That means that Alix, Adrien and I will see her tonight! Its so cool that she trusts you not to reveal who she is…. (:

Marinette: lol isn’t Twitter convinced that she’s dating Tim? AWKWARD

Lila: Maralynn told me that it wasn’t worth it to go after the rumors. I’m trying to respect her decision.

Rose: that’s so sweet, Lila! I didn’t know that you knew the Waynes!

Lila: I don’t know ALL of them, just Maralynn! We were at boarding school together in Italy for a few years.

Marinette: OH WOW

Nino: Chloe, Alix, your going to have to tell us what you think of her?

Lila: oh yes! And if you see my boyfriend, send my love!

Chloe:…BOYFRIEND???

Lila: oh? You didn’t know? Tim and I have had a thing for a while

Marinette: oh really? Chloe, you’ll have to pass on that she’s thinking of him tonight!

Lila: I mean… not if you don’t want to! I wouldn’t want to be a bother on GALA night!

Chloe: if I see him, it won’t be a bother at all Lila!

Marinette shook her head and set her phone down as the class chat continued to blow up. As much as she loved Chloe, she knew that the girl was instigating Lila for fun. When everything blew up, Marinette wanted to be able to stand back and watch the fire burn, but not be close enough to get burned. When she turned in her room, the garment bag in the corner caught her eye. Inside, Marinette knew, was a long black dress. When she had run the design past Alfred, the English man had given her an approving nod. Later, she had heard him mentioning to her father that at least one of his myriad of children would be able to dress themselves. The comment had made the teen giggle and she had made sure to put every effort she could into the gown. More than anything, she wanted to make her family proud. A knock on the door drew her attention and she turned to find Cass standing there, her own gown held in its own garment bag.

“get ready? Together?” the noirette lit up at her older sister’s suggestion and she nodded excitedly. The other girl moved into the room and hung the bag in her arms over the wardrobe next to Marinette’s. after she had deposited her shoes, the older teen turned to her sister and smiled.

By the time that Tim came to check on them, both girls had finished their Makeup and were working on hair. The makeup artist that Bruce had hired was packing up her stuff and the hair stylist was partway through Cass’s hair. Marinette turned towards her brother with a smile from where she was standing in front of the hidden dresses. “lend me a hand?” He smirked at the frustration on her face.

“Gladly, Little Bit. Which one is yours?” when the girl nodded to the larger of the two bags, Tim frowned. “how big exactly is your dress?”

“Big enough for me to need help getting it on. Its not that it’s exactly heavy either! Its just…poofy?” he laughed at Marinette’s rush to explain and helped her pull the bag off of the dress. When the dress was no longer hidden, his breath caught. The black dress was stunning. He could see where it moved from black to grey to blue at the bottom, and the long full sleeves followed the same style. Hanging on the hanger behind the dress was a black hoop, and a pair of low heels (as tall as Bruce would allow, actually. He had to remind her ten times that although this was a high society event, she was still 14, and didn’t need to be dressing like she was 20.) sat under the layers of the dress. Where he had been expecting glitter and sparkles, Tim was surprised to find that the satin was free of almost anything that glittered.

“wow” Marinette laughed at his reaction and reached for the hoop.

“I know, right? It took forever, but its totally worth it! And, it’s the designers first attempt at this kind of formal. I think she did a great job.” Tim paused at that.

“LB, hey,” his sister tensed at the abbreviation for her nickname before she turned to him. “who exactly designed your dress?”

“Oh, just a small up and coming designer. You wouldn’t have heard of her.” Cass sniggered from her spot by the vanity and Marinette shot their sister a smile. “ok! Let me get the slip on, and then after the hoop is on top, ill need your help with making sure the skirt fits right.”

Marinette would not be over exaggerating if she said that the red carpet was incredibly chaotic. The only thing she could think of that was more chaotic was perhaps the last time Jagged had held a concert in Paris. After she had made it through the gaggle of reporters and the public (was that Mr. Kent, SUPERMAN, she saw standing in the crowd calling out questions? Dam that man was everywhere.) the teen dropped her purse, that held an extra set of shoes, in her seat. The rest of the family wouldn’t be in for a bit. Her father, Dick, and Damien would all be in the receiving line Alfred would be behind the scenes all night, and Tim was already striking up discussions with business partners. Cass was on the other side of the room, looking stunning in her deep blue dress. When her sister had approached her, through her website, about the dress the teen had squealed at the idea of designing the close-fitting dress for her only sister. A Blonde caught her eye and pulled the noirette out of her thoughts. The familiar girl who was making her way over had abandoned her trademarked blues and yellows in favor of a deep red that matched the garnets littering her jewelry. A few steps behind her was another teen close to Marinette’s age with a pink pixie cut slicked down. The other teen was wearing a suit that had perfect tailoring…actually, that was Marinette’s suit. The girl laughed as Chloe and Alix joined her, the shortest of the three standing in the middle to draw attention to her suit.

As the girls caught up, they scanned the ballroom. On the other side, Tim was starting to look frazzled, while Marinette thought she saw Jason slip in past one of the servers. opposite them, Damien and Dick were starting to mingle while Bruce moved to greet the Kents. As she swept her gaze over the room, Marinette blinked. There, looking straight at her was-

“oh no, its Adrien. Chloe I love you and all, but if that boy causes a scene tonight…” Chloe waved away Alix’s worries.

“I already told him to be on his best behavior. I am personally more interested in when Felix will get here. For all his big talk about transferring to a private school in Paris, I won’t believe it until the brat comes to see me.” The group stifled their laughter at Chloe’s put out response.

“as long as he doesn’t come over asking about everything going on, we should be good.” Marinette nodded at Alix’s statement on Adrien.  

Look for Part 2 soon! if yall have any thoughts, i’d LOVE to hear them, since i have the basic plot down and im fleshing it out now...

#b!dbwm2020 #ml x dc #maribat #bio!dad bruce wayne month 2020 #marinette dupen chang #My writing #oops it hapened again

[notepadsandtealeaves]

Jason Todd x GN!Reader in: ‘Martha Stewart’ Who?

12 Days of Batmas || Day 4—Wrapping Presents

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

↞ previous: mall madness || getting lost at the mall

|| ao3 version | 12 days m.list | batboys tag | main blog ||

|| dames day 4 | dick day 4 | tim day 4 ||

You wait with bated breath as your man inspects the parcel before him.

With its sharp creases, smooth sides, and expertly tied bow your offering would be considered immaculate, flawless even, to anyone else—but Jason Peter Todd isn’t just ‘anyone’.

It’s on sight, Ms. Stewart.

↠ Requested By: Not a soul lol ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW fluff ((but my blog’s 18+ if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ CWs: There’s some v. briefly and vaguely described fade to black action at the very end of the ficlet. *cough*guess you must’ve wrapped the hell outta that gift lmao*cough* ↠ Betas? Nah, we don’t do that here. ↠ Total WC: ~1.5k

Headcanon || WC: ~900

🌟 Jay’s one of those people that’s weirdly good at wrapping things. It’s a natural talent that he didn’t even know he had until he moved in with Bruce.

I personally canon all the boys as being hella close with Alfred, but Jason was by far the one that spent the most time with him. There was just something about the older man that set him at ease.

Around Bruce he always felt like he had to be ‘on’. Part of this was due to the (one-sided) competition that he had going on with Dick. Grayson was—and still is, if we’re being completely honest—the golden child. He set the standard on what it meant to be Robin, and goddamn if that bar isn’t high as fuck to this very day.

Jay spent a long time trying to live up to what he felt was expected of him. Where Bruce saw drive, Alfred recognized the anxiety and longing to emerge from the long cast of the first son’s shadow.

Because of this he always made sure that Jay knew that such efforts weren’t needed with him, that he saw his value and worth not only as Robin, but as Jason Peter Todd-Wayne (which, ofc the others did too, but Jay didn’t always perceive it that way).

His touch was a light one, as anything more would have insulted the brash child; Jay’s never been one for being babied or pitied, after all.

🌟 But we’re getting off track here—suffice it to say, he felt a lot more at ease in the aging butler’s company than he did in most others for a very long time.

🌟 Anyways!

🌟 During one of their hangout sessions Alfie was wrapping gifts for one occasion or another and Jay offered to help out and what do you know—the kid turned out to be some sort of wrapping prodigy lol.

He finds the act of wrapping things to be rather relaxing. Given his natural affinity for it he barely has to concentrate on the task; even when he lets his hands run on autopilot the results never suffer for it. It’s honestly one of the few things that allows him a measure of true zen.

He also does origami for the same reason.

He hadn’t even considered it until Kori had gone on one of her fixation tangents. She ended up buying a bunch of supplies for all of them to practice with, all too sure that her boys would indulge her latest flight of fancy lol. Naturally Roy was all for it, Jay less so though once he got into it he found that he loved it.

At any given time your home has at least a half dozen little paper creations scattered about it. Like I said back in Day 2’s installment he’s not a big fan of clutter, so they get swapped out fairly regularly, with the old ones getting tossed unless you insist on keeping them (in which case you’re gonna have to squirrel them away in a box or something).

🌟 He can and will use his superior skills to flex on folk—you included lmao. Though if you ask nicely he’ll be happy to give you some pointers so that you can up your game.

He’s weirdly serious about the whole thing, tho. Like…

He sets up a legit wrapping station complete with different types of paper (ones of varying thickness, textures, etc. as he insists that these variances all require different wrapping techniques), a grip of tape, and some heavy ass scissors. Add to that your practice items (i.e. some boxes and objects of various sizes and shapes) and it’s just this whole ass thing.

On top of technique he also focuses on aesthetics, so you’re gonna get a bonus lesson in how to choose the right wrapping paper, when you should use streamers as opposed to bows, ribbons and how to tie them, etc.

He turns out to be a patient, but oddly strict teacher. When you ask him why he’s going in so hard he just kinda shrugs.

“Gotta do it right, doll, or there’s no point in doin’ it at all…”

((Tbh he’s not used to people looking to him for guidance in general, let alone in something non-combat related. He doesn’t want to disappoint either of you by doing a half-assed job so he makes sure to give it his all.))

🌟 It should also be said that he’s not above using gift boxes/bags, but he won’t like it lol.

The circumstances under which he does so are v. specific and has some rather weird conditions.

Like he has to know the person has a preference for the things over wrapping paper for some reason, or there’s no wrapping paper/fabric in a 100 mile radius, or his fingers are broke—you get the vibe…

🌟 In that same vein, he will more than likely never employ a professional’s help either as he feels like whatever they can do he can do better and for free so why waste the loot?

Yes, his opinion still stands even if it’s for some high class function. He’s just that good and you both know it, so what’s the point in pretending otherwise?

‘Martha Stewart’ Who? || WC: 600~

You wait with bated breath as your man inspects the parcel before him.

With its sharp creases, smooth sides, and expertly tied bow your offering would be considered immaculate, flawless even, to anyone else—but Jason Peter Todd isn’t just ‘anyone’.

To call him the Gordon Ramsay of gift wrapping would be both disingenuous and not. On the one hand his standards are just as unattainably high, but on the other he hasn’t hit you with any rudely creative insults which is good as you’re not entirely sure how you’d react if he told you your efforts were comparable to a drunk elf’s or the like.

For his part Jay runs an examining finger from one corner of the box to the other, following the line down and inwards along the perfectly pleated side tab. He gives the paper there a small flick, but the tape holds, much to your relief. The last time he’d done that the tab had popped and you got a several minute long lecture about the importance of securing your seams properly—“Good effort, doll, but all the pretty wrappin’ in the world don’t matter if that shit falls apart before you can get it out of the house.”

He conducts a few more test of integrity, giving you a nod of approval as your wrapping stands up to each one. Once he’s satisfied he moves on to scrutinizing your artistic vision, and in the end he deems this to be acceptable as well. Well, mostly, as he finds the glitter encrusted paper to be a bit much when paired with the equally blinged out ribbon, but Cass’s ongoing obsession with grainy textures makes the combination acceptable.

“–and with that in mind,” he continues on, “Imma give you a ten outta ten. Good work, baby.”

You may legitimately squeal over the praise, but who can really blame you? After spending the better part of the weekend having every little mistake picked apart—albeit in a loving way—you’ve finally got the approval you’ve been so desperately craving. Jay pulls you into a hug then, chuckling all the while as you let out a long sigh of relief, though your comment of “‘Martha Stewart’ who?” leaves him tutting.

“Hol’ up, let’s not get crazy here, babe. Martha is a legend. Now don’t get me wrong, you’re a helluva lot better at wrapping shit than most people, but you’re nowhere near being at the level where you can besmirch the name of Queen Stewart.”

You snort at that. “Whatever. Chick better not blink because I’m coming for that crown.”

“Aw, word? Okay, I see you, I see you…”

As your shared laughter tapers off you can feel a shift in the atmosphere. Levity is traded in for hooded eyes and smirking lips as he regards you with an almost predatory glint. The quick switch up leaves you confused until he reminds you of the reason you’ve been working so hard. Upping your wrapping game had been the initial goal, yes, but the, ahem, incentive that awaited you should you perfect your methods saw your motivations skewing…

“Ready to claim your reward, doll? Because I’m certainly ready to give it to ya…”

The words are mumbled against lips that have just been released from a toe-curling kiss. You’ve barely managed to reply before strong arms are sweeping you off of your feet. Your peals of surprised laughter are swallowed by more hungry kisses as you leave behind the stack of perfectly wrapped gifts for soft sheets and warm bodies and shared breaths.

Up Next:

🌟 Day 5: Questionable Morals of the Cinematic Kind || Ugly Sweaters

“What is all of this anyway?” you ask as he shuffles past you.

Jay lets out a sound that’s part sigh, part amused snort. “So you know how it’s Dick’s turn to pick the theme for the Christmas Eve party? Well apparently it’s ‘ugly holiday sweaters’. …we gotta make some up for the contest, and they gotta be bomb because the winner gets to pick what we’ll be binging that night and I’ll be damned if I have to sit through all fifty thousand Die Hard movies again.”

The entertainment may make you go ‘hmm’, but at least the company’s nice.

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2020 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

#Jason Todd x Reader #Jason Todd x Gender Neutral Reader #Jason Todd x You #Jason Todd Imagine #great now i can’t stop thinking about taking a masterclass from this dork #it’d solely be done to see who breaks first as i know i won’t retain anything lmao

[hyunrun]

Dream SMP/Batfam

This is my reasoning for connections between Dream SMP members and the Bats. This was all just for fun, but feel free to give feedback if you’d like! And do say if I’ve made a mistake. I haven’t done everyone, so if there’s anyone else you’d like me to do, lemme know! Please read, I spent a good while on this :D

Batman (Bruce Wayne)/Technoblade: Technoblade's Dream SMP origin story starts with his parents dying, so the backstory fits. He swears to kill all orphans because of the way they killed his parents (Similar to the way Bruce wanted to stop crime from running rampant in Gotham). Techno is also, technically, an orphan as Bruce was. I've always imagined Bruce's voice to be kinda like Techno's, especially that monotone tone he uses, and especially when he's Batman and not Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne is -Bat-man and Technoblade is a pig, need I elaborate? Both of them seem to stay up till ungodly times of the day, and I'm sure their sleep schedules are never on the same clock as anyone else's, Bruce's because of his vigilante lifestyle and Techno because... well, he's a Minecraft YouTuber. Both of them have a father figure, although not biological. They also have a friendly rivalry with a fellow content creator/hero (Cough Dream/Superman cough). We say Dick/Wilbur is dramatic, but you can't possibly mean to tell me Batman/Technoblade isn’t subtly more dramatic. They practically invented being dramatic in their respective businesses.

Alfred Pennyworth/Philza Minecraft: Is the father figure to Batman/Technoblade. Is really a force of chaos but everyone pictures them as a soft, loving dad because we all have parental issues and we need more father figures. Both of them are very badass in their own ways. Old and British. Here's a parallel I thought was pretty cool. Philza had been building up his hardcore world for 5 years before he died. It was like his home disappeared in front of his eyes as he fell away from his life. I'm not sure which continuity/arc this is from (Please do not hate on me, I am but a small child) bUT I do know that Alfred died of a heart attack/stroke at the same time the Wayne Manor was destroyed. His home was destroyed as he died. Just as Philza's had been.

Damian Wayne/TommyInnit: Is never really loved by anyone at first glance (From the fandoms). Tommy's the loud, annoying one, Damian's the grouchy, haughty one. But everyone eventually gravitates towards their characters later on. Their families were wary of them at first but grew to love them. Both of them are the youngest, and generally angriest child. Both are not American, Tommy being British and Damian, Arabic. They both have ICONIC mothers. MotherInnit is a queen, we all know this. If she can handle Tommy, she can handle absolutely anything. Talia Al Ghul has a reputation of her own right, and while she hasn't quite the pristine repertoire, she definitely strikes a strong mark on people. Now, this is a dumb connection between the two, but hair!! Tommy’s seems nice and floofy while Damian's is generally drawn spiky, and I think that's a cool contrast. Their love for pets is also important to note. Tommy's the one that's known for starting wars over the deaths of his pets, and it's easy to know that Damian wouldn't hesitate to hurt someone if they did anything to Titus or Batcow. It’s been shown on multiple occasions that he loves his pets a lot.

Jon Kent/Tubbo_: Best friends with Tommy/Damian. Do not try to argue that Jon and Damian aren't best friends because come onnn. And PLEASE do not take this as a dumb excuse to ship Tommy and Tubbo, as I know people ship Dami and Jon. Both are the embodiment of chaos wrapped in kindness, and both are definitely the more stable of their friendship with the other gremlin children. I am confident that both would probably refer to their parents as mother and father dearest. You cannot convince me otherwise. Tubbo has already done so, and Jon would never disrespect his parents, so this would obviously be the next best alternative for when he is upset by them. Jon’s powers fluctuate upon shifts in emotion and he can’t really control his powers, like the shifting of Tubbo’s alter egos. We never know when Toob or Big Law will creep out of the shadows.

Dick Grayson/Wilbur Soot: (Second) most dramatic in the family, though perceived as the drama queen because of their boisterous personalities. The one that was probably a theatre kid in school. The lighthearted one that keeps everyone cheerful, but also the one with the easiest path to a horrid descent into madness. They have a flair for drama, the glitter and sparkles to Batman/Technoblade’s sombre smoke and haze, which is why they work together so well. The closest family member to Tommy/Damian. Their little brother/big brother dynamics are just impeccable. Both are the most simped for by their respective fanbases (from what I’ve seen). The token pretty boys. Both artistically talented in different ways, with Wilbur’s music and Dick’s acrobatic skills. Also the ones that get constantly shipped with every woman they literally even look at. They also express their dramatic tendencies through their clothes, Dick with his jazzy Discowing suit and Wilbur’s dramatic L’manburg outfit.

Superman/Dream: The OP gods, need I say more? Friendly rivals with Technoblade/Batman. Very often perceived as ‘Perfect’ which they are not, but many refuse to accept that. A funny parallel I drew was the fact that both of them are famous in their own rights, but can just walk around and not get recognised despite millions of people knowing their online/superhero identities. Both are technically not human.

Stephanie (Batgirl/Spoiler)/Sapnap: Both of their names start with S! Not my only reasoning, but I’ll take it into account anyway. Both are basic looking in my head (Blue eyes blonde hair for Steph?? There’s at least 3 other girls that look EXACTLY like her in the nearby DC universes. And Sapnap blends in with every other white boy, though I love him regardless.) but both also have immaculate personalities to make up for it. They’re the most normal people out of all their co-streamers/superheroes in my eyes, also my favourites. (I didn’t realise as I put them together that I loved them most but here we are). They’re both great at dumb banter. They don’t have huge, hilarious bits often or any constant jokes that are pulled on time and time again, but their general atmosphere makes everything seem like a joke. They may not be the best at what they do in their friend groups but are actually really good nonetheless and do not get due credit for their effort and talent sometimes. Has a warring relationship with Damian/Tommy (Sapnap over the pets and Steph and Dami didn’t have the most friendly relationship at the start)

Jason/BBH- Same but opposite but same. Exists to cause chaos. I wouldn’t have associated these two with each other till the Badlands became a thing… but then the Badlands became a thing and I had to. Now, I know that technically Bad doesn’t have a grudge against Techno, but Jason would totally set up a whole empire just to mess with Bruce’s plans, just to get in the way, to instigate, to fan the flames of the fire till he’s driven Bruce to his breaking point. Bad isn’t exactly trying to do that, but he’s only around for the chaos. He’s only here for his own benefit, and he’s only here for that because of the hurt caused to him by the nation he came from. A parallel being Jason causing havoc because of the pain Bruce caused him. Besides, both have a cool red and black colour scheme, and both wear jacket!! Both are also technically not alive (If we're considering BBH as a demon).

Roy Harper/Skeppy: I have absolutely no explanation for this, but it just Fits. Besides, they have cool opposing colour schemes and are best friends with BBH/Jason!!

Aaaand last but not least

Jason/Technoblade: Now you must be thinking But Kaly you already spoke about them! And yes, I did, and they do go really well with their respective characters but I couldn’t simply ignore the connection between these two, so I thought I might as well write about it. Technoblade was an English major (If I remember correctly) before he dropped out to pursue his youtube career. Jason, though this may not be a well-known fact, was a definite literature nerd at school before he met his demise. Their cut off education in English is an interesting parallel to me. Both of them also have destructive tendencies, with Technoblade being an anarchist and Jason periodically running an underground empire to make sure he can do whatever the hell he wants to. They don’t generally care who they hurt on their way to reach their end goal. Jason’s reckless shooting and killing clearly shows this, as he continuously justifies his actions by saying he’s ending crime rather than just making it wait in line for its turn to pop up again, while Technoblade’s release of the withers and excessive use of his firework crossbow clearly shows that the deaths of the residents of L’manburg do not matter to him as long as he abolishes the government.

#dream smp #mcyt #mcytblr #batman #dc #jason todd #technoblade #roy harper #skeppy #badboyhalo #stephanie brown #red hood #spoiler #robin #jon kent #superboy #superman #clark kent #dreamwastaken #dream #dick grayson #richard grayson #nightwing #discowing #wilbur soot #tubbo #tommyinnit #philza #alfred pennyworth #philza minecraft

[thetreeturnedoff]

alright! hyperfocus was on my side tonight so i compiled a list of all the caretakers from @hetalia-caretakers for them since people were asking for a list and one hadn’t been made yet (also side note y’all should totally go check out that blog, it’s amazing). i’m planning on updating this list as more people are added, too, and if anyone spots any mistakes here please let me know so i can fix them!

first, here’s the list of the caretakers with names and pronouns:

america - jerry (he/him), madeline/maddie (she/her)

china - zhang huijiong (they/them)

cuba - maria elena (that’s just a first name) (she/her)

england - bruce (he/him), alicia (she/her)

finland - adelaide (she/her)

france - michel (they/them)

germany & prussia - edith (she/her)

iceland - gabriel (he/him)

japan - naomi (she/her), hotaru (she/her)

latvia - agnese (she/her), twins aivars (he/him) and anita (she/her)

liechtenstein - ana (she/her)

n. italy - dante (he/him)

norway - eleanor (she/her)

romania - alina (she/her)

russia - maeve/maeves (she/her), irene (she/her)

sealand - harold (he/him)

s. italy - juno (she/her)

s. korea - jin ae (she/her)

spain - santiago (he/him)

switzerland - leila (she/her)

next, countries with unnamed caretakers:

all the micronations - (he/him)

belarus

denmark

greece - (she/her)

greece & turkey - (they/them)

sweden - (he/him)

ukraine

and for fun, some honorable mentions:

alina’s dog - anghel (she/her)

bruce’s mom who sends bruce off with cookies to give to england

jin’s cat - gilmack (he/him)

jerry’s cat - sugar (she/her)

below this i’m also putting the appearance and personality descriptions that we have because i’ve seen people talk about that before. i’m really just taking quotes and sometimes rephrasing them to make more sense here, but i’m also providing a link to the post it’s coming from so you can see the original context. because this is coming from multiple anon messages, it’s entirely possible that i’ve gotten things wrong, so if anyone (especially the creators) find anything i did get wrong i’d appreciate being corrected.

first, appearances:

adelaide (finland)

taller than finland, standing at around 5′8; hair is shoulder length and curly, and brown with blonde highlights; eyes are hazel [x]

eleanor (norway)

much shorter than norway [x]

5′9; dirty blonde hair and brown eyes [x]

gabriel (iceland)

around the same height as iceland, give or take an inch or two [x]

roughly 5′4; brunette hair and hazel eyes [x]

gilmack (jin)

fattest boy [x]

harold (sealand)

a “middle aged dude” [x]

redheaded with a relatively short style; average height, around 5′9; brown eyes; wears glasses even with decent vision to prevent his vision from deteriorating; a bit thin and lanky, but with a little muscle; visible signs of not sleeping [x]

jerry (america)

5′7.5, or roughly 172cm [x]

argentinian, but born and raised in new york; has brown eyes, black hair, and tan skin; wears glasses and has a “typical cute, tired nerd look”; very skinny and pretty underweight, but he’s just naturally like that, it has nothing to do with him not eating [x] [x]

jin ae (south korea)

short and brunette [x]

maddie (america)

young and 5′ [x]

filipino [x]

maeve (russia)

“has a death glare that makes flowers wilt” [x]

somewhere around 4′11 [x]

sugar (jerry)

grey with green eyes [x]

drawings of caretakers:

jerry

maeve, michel, jeremy, naomi, irene, and maddie

jerry and maddie (and alfred)

michel

maeve and irene

maeve and maddie

and now personalities (and some other facts):

adelaide (finland)

probably scared of finland because he sleepwalks with a gun or something [x]

"helps Finny with his Santa job every year and loves it" [x]

agnese (latvia)

started out sweet and outgoing, and now she and latvia are drinking buddies; keeps trying to keep up with drinking with latvia, despite him being immortal [x]

alina (romania)

"absolutely the snarkiest person you will ever meet"; "will absolutely bully romania into behaving, too varying degrees of effectiveness" [x]

ana (liechtenstein)

"[liechtenstein's] easy to lose due to both of them being easily distracted, so Ana's life is a constant game of hide and seek" [x]

anghel (alina)

"[alina's] main method of tracking romania" [x]

belarus’ unnamed caretaker

"flips between "oh you're angry don't worry I'll leave you alone for a bit" & "drop the knife belarus, don't play that shit with me"" [x]

denmark’s unnamed caretaker

“just as chaotic as Denmark himself” [x]

edith (germany and prussia)

super lax, and lets germany and prussia do whatever; gets into frequent trouble for not doing her job [x]

while supposedly watching prussia, she plays on her phone the whole time, loses track of him, or “helps him with whatever crime he’s trying to commit”; is definitely addicted to candy crush [x]

eleanor (norway)

"carry a spray bottle of water for when [norway] gets sassy with her"; "essentially “screw the rules you’re gonna do it no matter what I say”" [x]

gabriel (iceland)

he and eleanor are enemies because she feels like he’s too strict with iceland; he refuses to relax the rules he has for iceland [x]

"has threatened to quit because of how whiny Ice gets" [x]

has a long list of rules from both iceland’s government and norway that he enforces with iceland [x]

gilmack (jin)

laziest boy; “lives up to his name [name means roadblock]”; “will always be in front of your feet, or in the way, or be a bed hog” [x]

hotaru (japan)

actually enjoys her job, for the most part; “internally screams” around other nations because she only knows how to handle japan [x]

irene (russia)

“just rather confused” [x]

jerry (america)

probably has ptsd [x] [x]

has hit a point where he just kinda goes along with everything [x]

is aroace; is good at playing classical piano; "anxiety is through the roof, as are his caffeine levels"; "most unlucky guy in the world" [x]

gets random instances of super strength on occasion [x]

jin ae (south korea)

headstrong; “will thwap South Korea with a newspaper if he acts out“ [x]

leila (switzerland)

"sort of a pushover, but can be an amazing older sister figure when [switzerland] needs one" [x]

“not the interrupting type” [x]

maddie (america)

"made [america] back down with a single glance" [x]

is probably a black belt [x]

maeve (russia)

russia is the one scared of her; she doesn’t take russia’s shit [x]

“terrifying” [x]

“would just generally do questionable things, such as eating red red meat at 3 am with all the lights off”; actually volunteered for the job [x]

“small feral woman [who] can and will climb onto everything to get what she needs” [x]

maria elena (cuba)

"super chill, but super strong"; "Whenever Cuba and America get into a fight, she's usually the one to hold back America"; "She's a combo of the mom friend and the wine aunt" [x]

naomi (japan)

seems lazy or like she doesn’t care but actually just constantly gets lost; is always losing track of japan or getting turned around or distracted; probably pretty anxious too [x]

santiago (spain)

“stressed 24/7″; can’t really be upset with spain though [x]

really relaxed with spain as long as he’s alone, but things can get out of hand when he’s with portugal [x]

sugar (jerry)

mean to everyone but jerry; anything but sweet; also basically jerry’s emotional support animal [x]

sweden’s unnamed caretaker

can find sweden in ikea when sweden’s in there [x]

ukraine’s unnamed caretaker

just as emotional as ukraine is [x]

#hetalia #hetalia caretakers #hws america #hws china #hws cuba #hws england #hws finland #hws france #hws germany #hws prussia #hws iceland #hws japan #hws latvia #hws liechtenstein #hws north italy #hws norway #hws romania #hws russia #hws sealand #hws south italy #hws switzerland #hws greece #hws netherlands #hws spain #hws ukraine #hws south korea #hws denmark #hws sweden

[thatsamericano]

Budgetary Details For This Plot

I’ve decided that the FrUKSpa Christmas budget for the oldest kids (Matthew, Alfred, and Savino) was $2000 each, which they considered a nice round number and a reasonable amount. They’re wealthy, so they’re used to spending way more money than most people, but they wanted to put a limit on 16-year-olds who are playing around with debit cards for the first time and have to get Christmas gifts for seven people. They had a smaller amount of money they gave to Feliciano, and a smaller amount than that for Marcello (without the debit cards being an issue for either of them, of course).

I want Alfred and Savino to have spent an equivalent amount on each other, so back in September, Alfred bought approximately $500 worth of textbooks (because he was trying to buy in three different areas, and was drawn to some huge hardcover textbooks and some smaller paperbacks he thought would would be interesting). He nearly, but not completely, drained his checking account and FrUK were like WTF because Alfred hadn’t made a big, sudden purchase like this before. They talk to him about this, and Alfred says it was a Christmas present for Matthew. They hadn’t expected him to be thinking about Christmas so early and sometimes their family did spend more extravagantly than they could this year because they’re now buying for four additional people, so they forgive the mistake their teen son made only two months after getting a debit card. They explain the Christmas budget to him and say that now the budget will be $1500, so he will have to spend carefully and his presents for everyone else will be much smaller than they could’ve been before.

Savino bought his nearly $500 telescope for Alfred after Antonio explained the budget to him (which happened sometime in November, because I do talk about the kids doing Black Friday/very early December shopping). At this point, Alfred and Savino may or may not have been in a relationship, but that doesn’t matter for the background I’m giving here. Antonio talks to Savino about this, because Antonio is a very laidback guy, but Savino spent a quarter of his Christmas budget on one person when he has to buy things for six other people. Savino gives a very convincing explanation about this being an extremely good telescope for this price point and how he researched it extensively before he made this purchase (all of this is true). Antonio is like, okay, it’s fine you bought this really expensive present for Alfred this year, but make sure you have enough to get other people something without having to go so cheap it looks insulting (and in Savino’s case, he planned to get something for his grandfather, which Alfred couldn’t do, so his presents for the rest of the FrUKSpa plus kids group were a bit smaller-- around $200 rather than $250-ish).

By the time they get to Rome, both of them have maxed out their Christmas budgets, but they do have more walking around money than most 16-year-olds, especially since their parents wanted them to be able to buy a fun souvenir if they wanted (especially Alfred and Matthew, who’ve never been to Italy before). Alfred is able to buy an about $100 present for Mr. Vargas, and each of them spend about $50 to get a joint present for Chiara that is small enough it’s not suspicious (also their money was in cash at the Christmas Market, and Euros obviously). I mentioned them getting souvenirs at the Leonardo da Vinci Experience Museum that are about $77 dollars for Alfred’s and $42 for Savino’s (I’m rounding up), Savino bought a fairly inexpensive scarf for Alfred earlier in the month while Christmas shopping, and Alfred will probably spontaneously Savino a fairly inexpensive hat at the Christmas market. They might have also bought something small for close friends from school before they left for Rome, along with other minor purchases like the things they got at Starbucks at the mall. After Christmas, Alfred and Savino are low on money, but not in immediate danger of going into overdraft, so FrUKSpa aren’t bothered by this. They’re all happy the 16-year-olds (including Matthew) managed to stay within their Christmas budgets and didn’t go crazy buying tons of souvenirs for themselves.

On Christmas, people do notice that Alfred and Savino bought each other expensive presents, especially if one of them unthinkingly says something about it (like Savino looking at all the textbooks and going “Dio, this must have been so expensive.”) Antonio doesn’t really care, and he’s glad it wasn’t too awkward when Alfred got a substantially cheaper gift for Savino than Savino got for him (what he expected to happen). He thinks it’s cute Alfred thinks Savino is talented in so many areas that he picked out all these textbooks for him, and he’s like, “aww, look at this cute mutual friendship.” Matthew and Feliciano are like “okay, you guys went way overboard on each other,” especially since they had a girlfriend and boyfriend who weren’t accounted for in their Christmas budgets and had to plan their purchases more carefully to get them something, but they’re happy with their presents from Alfred and Savino and aren’t mad about it. Nonno Vargas is flattered that Alfred (along with the rest of the FACE Family) got him something at all, and he remembers going nuts with Sofia on present giving occasions sometimes, especially at the beginning of their relationship. (But I think the reason Sofia’s family weren’t happy with the idea of them being together at first was because Augusto was from a poorer family, so the dollar amounts were much smaller than I’m talking about here). Chiara is surprised Alfred helped pay for a present for her, and Savino usually gives her fairly small gifts for Christmas anyway since I don’t think he gets something for each of his twenty cousins and wouldn’t want to make that too obvious with a huge price tag for Chiara’s gift. They understand Chiara and Savino are close, so it’s okay if she gets a little Christmas present from him, but not if it’s some huge thing like he got for Alfred.

For maximum drama points, Marcello is stewing about Romerica after he figures out they must be doing NSFT things together, and he gets pissed when he sees their Christmas presents to each other. I don’t think he’d easily be able to make a price point comparison, but maybe he looks up Alfred’s telescope online and sees that it’s nearly $500 compared to his approximately $200 present from his brother (which to be fair, is still very nice for a nine-year-old and something he would enjoy). The textbooks would be harder for him to figure out since there were multiple ones, but maybe he looks up some of the bigger ones and figures out Alfred’s present to Savino is also substantially more expensive than Alfred’s present to him. He puts on a pleasant face for Christmas and the rest of the Rome trip (which maybe lasts a couple of additional days), and then he decides to blackmail them once they get home.

FrUK are very WTF about Alfred’s and Savino’s Christmas presents to each other, but they’re trying to mask it because of the Christmas Eve drama over the hickey I’d planned before. Arthur made Savino very upset the day he spoke to his dead parents and grandma, and they are trying to be nicer to him after what happened. Antonio gives an explanation for the telescope that they don’t totally believe is a friendship thing, but they’re more pissed about Alfred because he lied to them about the textbooks back in September (precisely because he was scared saying it was for Savino’s Christmas present would make his feelings way too obvious). They add the Christmas presents to their mental rolodex file of “Alfred and Savino are obviously fucking,” but probably don’t say anything.

After Christmas, Alfred and Savino are in no position to purchase a Vespa, or even a kiddie version of one. If Marcello insists on a real Vespa his brother drives for him, they try to do some quick research to figure out if Savino can even drive a Vespa right now or if he needs a special license and what models are allowed for that. Marcello is mostly about going vroom vroom on a Vespa, so I don’t think he’s looking too closely at the models and would be happy with one that’s not hyper expensive if his brother could actually drive him around on it (because according to whatever state laws I’m basing this on, Savino might need special licenses for some of the higher horsepower models but not the lower ones). Marcello might want one that’s a specific color or similar to one some cousin has, and Romerica are like “okay, sure” even if it costs more because they’re desperate to make this kid happy. At minimum, they’re looking at about a $4000 purchase which is both their Christmas budgets for the entire holiday combined, and they have to dip into their savings accounts that they had access to (I’ll try to research this so it’s not completely stupid plotwise for the fic) but that their parents told them not to touch until they turned 18 because they were specifically for their adult/college life. They don’t drain them, but they each take about $2000 out (possibly after cleaning out their checking accounts completely), and it’s very suspicious.

FrUKSpa are irritated by this immensely. Savino probably mentioned wanting to get a Vespa someday to Antonio before, but he thought Savino would wait until he was 18 or ask for that as his high school graduation gift. If he had to get a Vespa now, he could have tried asking FrUKSpa before this holiday they all just celebrated that involved buying gifts for each other. It might have been something they decided not to get him because it’s too expensive, but it’s weird as fuck that he did this right after getting gifts from everyone he seemed to appreciate. He could have asked for this when he turned 16, instead of/in addition to the car Antonio thought would make it more convenient for Savino to get around. Antonio may not have bought him a Vespa then, but it would have been a lot more normal for Savino to ask back then or before Christmas.

Alfred is the one who they’re most suspicious of, even Antonio. Antonio is able to brush off $500 of textbooks for Christmas (even if FrUK tell him the precise dollar amount and that Alfred lied about it back in September), but he can’t brush off Alfred paying $2000 to help pay for a Vespa that’s not even his. It looks like Alfred keeps getting these ridiculously extravagant gifts for Savino, and they’re all like WTF is going on (FrUK highly suspect, and at this point Antonio is beginning to as well). By contrast, Savino possibly pressured his stepbrother into helping him get a Vespa and made both of them dip into their savings accounts to make this sudden unnecessary purchase, so he needs to be confronted on his spending habits too, but it’s a different issue (and FrUK are especially pissed at him if they think he’s pressuring Alfred financially). Privately, they may decide that FrUK should confront Alfred on his behavior without Antonio since they’re his parents and since Alfred has made it abundantly clear he doesn’t think of Antonio in any kind of family way and will be very disrespectful if Antonio tries to tell him not to be an idiot with money. FrUK really want to confront Savino about the Vespa and possibly manipulating Alfred to get it, but maybe they’re willing to let Antonio talk to his own kid about this and have similar reasons for suspecting Savino would totally disrespect them if they tried to confront him about his spending habits.

#i'm still working through this potential new plot and i haven't written any of this yet #it may change in the future but for now here's what i have #antonio doesn't go in assuming savino was being an asshole about the vespa but fruk might #especially if alfred breaks and is like i helped him buy the vespa because i love him but he doesn't love me at all so pls quit torturing me #he thinks saying savino doesn't love him is protecting him but it makes it worse #because now fruk will think he's using/manipulating alfred #antonio won't because he knows savino isn't like that but he might have a hard time convincing them #possible fic spoilers #romerica stepbros au #hetalia #romerica #frukspa #hws america #hws romano #hws south italy #hw france #hws england #hws spain #aph america #aph romano #aph south italy #aph france #aph england #aph spain #my writing #original post

[meterokinesis]

Rage Against the Dying of the Light

Read it on AO3

Prompt: Sleep deprivation

TW: Some mentions of blood, implied caffeine addiction

Summary: Gotham isn't the city that never sleeps, but when it does nightmares are sure to follow.

It was just sleeping.

Babies did it for sixteen hours a day. Tim was better than a baby. He could just close his eyes and not be conscious for a few hours like a normal person. This shouldn’t be so hard.

He’d done everything the experts said to. No caffeine for six hours before bed, no phone for the last two hours, and a calming, relaxing bedtime routine that involved lavender oil and breathing exercises.

It sucked.

But Bruce was adamant about him staying on a semi-regular schedule. The agreement they’d come to was four hours a night for two weeks straight, then they’d reassess. It had been six weeks since that deal and he still hadn’t managed to do it.

                                        ________________

When he was little and still doted on, his parents always talked about how he never slept as a baby. His mom would joke about how he was so excited to see the world that sleeping came second. They’d brought him to pediatricians and sleep specialists and holistic healers, but they all got the same response: he’ll sleep when he’s tired.

Tim eventually grew out of his night owl tendencies. He was never scared of monsters in his closet or the boogeyman under his bed. Nannies and babysitters would coo to his parents, on the rare occasions they were around, that he was such an easy kid--no muss, no fuss. His father would give a tight-lipped smile and shell out hundreds to the women who raised Tim while they were out performing new-age colonization in the name of science.

                                       ________________

The sleeplessness returned when he figured out who Batman and Robin really were. He’d like to say it was the adventure, but it was more than that. It was how he felt like part of something, even if it only lasted a few hours every night. Sacrificing some shut-eye was worth it to run across the rooftops like his heroes.

The sleeplessness didn’t get worse when he stopped needing a full-time nanny, it just was given more space to grow. He no longer needed to strategize his escapades or sneak “patrol” snacks. He could just come home from school, finish his homework, make dinner, take a nap, follow the Bats around in the wee hours of the morning, then crash until he had to wake up for class and do it all again. All in all it was a great system for a ten year old.

                                       ________________

Then Tim became Robin. And that schedule changed to accommodate training and significantly more Red Bull than any twelve year old has the right to consume. But he handled it, as he always did. He still aced his classes and learned jiu jitsu and managed to fake a smile when his parents inevitably left again.

                                       ________________

Everything got complicated when his mom died, as things usually do. His dad was paralyzed and possibly never waking up, and his mom was, y’know, dead, which is a lot of stress for a thirteen year old kid to handle, let alone a thirteen year old who is also supposed to save the world every other week. Tim spent his nights studying and training and overthinking instead of sleeping, but he still got mostly As and only fell asleep on patrol twice, so it was fine. After all, Bruce didn’t need to know about the mini-fridge full of Red Bull and Bang and 5-Hour Energy shots shoved in his closet.

When his dad woke up, it was even easier to hide his sleeping patterns. The 24/7 medical aide was under strict instructions not to disturb Tim while he was sleeping and his dad was too busy flirting with his physical therapist to notice his son sneaking out. Even if he did, he never cared enough to stop him.

                                       ________________

Then there was Steph. He’d sneak through her window and hold her until her mom came home. Those nights he would actually doze for a little while, enough to dream. Steph never brought up the nightmares, just held him as he silently cried. Even his sobs were quiet and obedient, just like how his parents always wanted.

Even when his dad forbade him from being Robin, Tim didn’t sleep. He stared at the ceiling every night, listening to the same 50 songs and wondering why this was his life. This trend continued even after he was reinstated as Robin, and his few designated sleeping hours were instead dedicated to making sure neither of his lives collapsed around him.

He stopped sleeping entirely when Steph died. Stopped eating too. He didn’t cry or scream or breakdown, just felt completely numb. He went on patrol and aced his classes and didn’t feel a thing. At night, he just replayed her final moments over and over. Sometimes he’d go to her grave and talk to her, just to see if it would finally make him feel something. It didn’t.

                                       ________________

Not even two months later, his dad was killed. The constant replays had new content now: Tim holding onto his dad like he was the last thing keeping him grounded, ignoring the iron smell of the blood seeping into his suit. Tim spent these nights in tears, and his pillow hadn’t seen a dry night in months. Tim started to pour Red Bull into his morning coffee to get himself through Pre Calc.

Every new death and disappearance just added more nightmare fodder. Were they even nightmares if he didn’t have to sleep to see them? Tim quickly learned that if he just worked through the night, he was 56% less likely to spend it hyperventilating into his comforter. It also let him work on cases and get extra credit done for class, so if anything he was doing a good job.

A few times Alfred had to tranq him to get him to rest. This practice was quickly ended after Tim had a panic attack shortly after waking up, which ended in a 7 hour long game of Where in the World is Tim Drake? (He was in the Tower’s broom closet.)

                                       ________________

The next few months fell into the same sort of routine. Tim would complete hours of homework, then go on patrol, then finish up whatever reports needed to be done. If there were a few hours left before his alarm, maybe he’d fall asleep watching old YouTube videos. If not, he’d catch a power nap then slam a Monster before first period. It was a flawed system, but it worked.

                                       ________________

Then Bruce disappeared. When he wasn’t fighting for his life against Gotham’s gangs, he was researching. And when Dick took his mantle, he left. Those months on the road were beyond sleepless. Tim was running on caffeine, sheer will, and a prayer. Sleep felt like a death sentence. He was like a shark: if he stopped moving, he’d die. And he did die. Almost.

Sleeping at the League was obviously a dumb descision, so he didn’t. Point to Tim and his totally functioning braincell.

                                       ________________

And now he was here. Bruce was alive and Stephanie was alive and he was as safe as he’d been since he saw that quadruple somersault. For once there wqas no big scheme to be solved--outside of that Falcone case that had been nagging him for weeks--or emergency that needs him. He wasn’t supposed to worry about senior year or AP classes or college applications. He was just supposed to sleep.

Tim glanced over at his alarm clock. It was 5:17. Not worth sleeping if he would just have to wake up in less than three hours anyway. He’d just try again tomorrow.

#whumptober 2020 #my writing #tim drake #bruce wayne #red robin #batman #stephanie brown #spoiler #jack drake #janet drake #blood tw #caffeine tw

[disconnected-from-reality]

Fanfic Rec: 00Q Part 3

It’s been more than a year! I have totally been procrastinating in doing this if I’m truly honest. A lot of things happened in my life as well! There are good and bad things, but what matters most is that I still have a number of fics to recommend for you! I haven’t stopped reading, don’t worry. 

Also I think it’s a good time to post my list. The next Bond movie has released its trailer and the 00Q crumbs we got from the trailer got a lot of shippers back on board. If you’re that person, you might want to check these fanfics out! 

To see the other parts, click here for part 1 and for part 2.

Let Love In by dhampir72  [Words: 21,437 | Teens and Up Audiences] They're still learning that love is more of a journey and less of a destination. [A series of interconnected vignettes].

Ulysses by girlbookwrm [Words: 89,065 | Teens and Up Audiences] “Paperwork for the new head of Q-Branch,” Tanner said. “Of course.” The words were like glass in his throat. Smoke inhalation was a bitch. His brain felt slow and foggy, like it was full of smoke too. “Who shall I take them to?” M lifted one white brow. “They’re for you, Quartermaster.” Bond and Q are drawn together by names, work, and a certain Aston Martin. In which Q is kidnapped once, Bond is poisoned twice, and Eve is a badass on at least three occasions. AKA that time I tripped and wrote 80,000 words of 00Q. All titles unapologetically stolen from Alfred, Lord Tennyson.

Espionage is a Family Affair by nagapdragon [Words: 78.403 | Mature] It's common knowledge that angels make good weapons and terrible soldiers. They're hard to kill, hard to catch, and leave a swathe of destruction wherever they go. That's why MI6 likes them. James Bond, Agent 007, is one of the most devastating weapons MI6 will admit to having. Explosions follow his every whim and he's nearly impossible to kill, despite the best efforts of terrorists worldwide. He's second only to the weapons MI6 pretends don't exist- archangels are only a theory, after all. Aren't they?

Bond to You by therunawaypen [Words: 5,749 | Mature] Bond isn't a name. It's a rare breed of people that have designated soulmates, to whom a Bond will be eternally faithful to. Every child dreams of being a Bond's Chosen soulmate. James uses his status as a Bond to seduce many a mark into thinking they're his Chosen, while deep down he resents his identity because he has been unable to find his Chosen. Then he meets Q that fateful day in front of that painting.

How Q Hacked Online Dating by JayPendragon [Words: 23,836 | Explicit] “How does that lead to…?” Eve waves her hand at the mess behind Q’s back. Q feels his expression morph into a sly grin. “I have a new plan. I’m going to stay on these dating platforms, but I’m going to treat them as databases. Rather than waiting for an algorithm to set me up, I'm going to try reverse-engineering this entire system.” In which Q works in the private sector, still winds up friends with Eve, and applies science to his love life. Obviously, Eve gets involved.

Leading Edge by Batsutousai  [Words:  7,251 | Teens and Up Audiences] All fae-born were raised on stories of how cruel dragon-borns were, how they had no care for anyone outside themselves and their greed, that they would sell their own mother's soul to the devil before allowing themselves to be hurt. They were told that all dragon-borns were to be killed on sight, and taught spells that would do just that, if ever given the chance. It would be just Q's luck that one of his agents was dragon-born.

Pen and Paper by Salios [Words:  5,300 | Teens and Up Audiences] Q wrung his hands anxiously, teeth gnawing at his lower lip. It was a bad habit, biting his lip, but he couldn’t help it when he was nervous. And he really did have reason to be nervous. Well, excited to the point of nearly crippling nervousness, actually. Today he’d finally get to meet his boyfriend of three years. For the first time ever.

people can surprise you (or not) by pdameron [Words: 10,538 | Teens and Up Audiences]   “I’m not you, Bond. I don’t exactly have a technique for getting rich strangers to like me.” “Just do your naive cute puppy thing, and they’ll be doting on you in no time,” Bond replies as he pulls up to the grand estate. “My what?” Q asks incredulously. Bond doesn’t answer, simply giving him an indulgent smile. The fucker. (or: 00q meets Gosford Park. Except not really.)

A Common Solution by SailorChibi  [Words:  17,654 | Teens and Up Audiences] Bond has been ignoring his biological needs. Boothroyd is retiring and MI6 is in need of a new Quartermaster. What do these two things have in common? They both have an easy solution... if only M can get Bond to extract a certain hacker  NOTE: This does not have the “James Bond/Q” tag, but I’ll add it in my list anyway.

Taken by Nana_41175 [Words: WIP | Explicit]    Or, the cheating fic that *nearly* is! Q is engaged to be married, but not to Bond. Excerpt: Bond blinked. “Boyfriend? What do you mean, boyfriend?” “I mean exactly that,” said Moneypenny. “Honestly, what’s the matter with you? Q’s been seeing someone for over a year. And if I’m not mistaken, Daniel is going to pop the question on him this evening. Dan asked me for advice on the ring, after all.” NOTE: This is currently a WIP fanfic, but it’s almost done with 2 chapters left to be posted. Would be a bummer if I don’t add it, right? 

His Keeper by Nana_41175 [Words:  45,482 | Explicit] Protecting the Quartermaster entails a special set of circumstances, and Q is the last one to know. Excerpt: “Your identity has been compromised,” M said as he leaned forward in his chair, his features grim even as his tone remained even and calm. “I am standing you down from all your duties in Q branch. Kindly hand in all personal computers and devices. I am placing you on administrative leave, effective immediately. You need to disappear for a while, Q, for your own safety. Think of this as the holiday you never had these past two years. We will get down to the bottom of this and repair the damage done; otherwise I shall have to ask you to step down. ”Q gaped at him, finally speechless. “At any rate, quartermasters are entitled to double-O agents as bodyguards, when the need arises, and he personally volunteered,” M continued as though he’d not just dropped the equivalent of a bomb and a death sentence through slow torture rolled into one, “and I do agree that under the circumstances, 007 would be the best choice as your bodyguard.”

Daddy and Uncle James by 1MissMolly [Words:  26,115 | Teens and Up Audiences] James Bond can remain cool and collected in the most trying of circumstances. He is an expert at hand to hand combat and marksman with numerous weapons. He can seduce any woman or man he chooses. He has the highest success rate at achieving his goals, and he has his sights on the young Quartermaster. The only thing standing in his way is the only thing that will surely defeat him. A six year old girl named Elizabeth Park. Bond's planned seduction of Q is interrupted by the arrival of Q's daughter, Lizzie.

Treason, Traitors, and Treachery by Kryptaria, zooeyscigar [Words:  63,230 | Mature] All James Bond wanted was a quiet holiday on his luxury motoryacht on the Costa del Sol. Time to recuperate and think about his future with MI6. But his plans get hijacked when a traitor to the crown returns, bringing news of an even greater threat to MI6. And the traitor isn't working alone.Thankfully, neither is James.

Playing the Part by ElektricAngel [Words: 23,116 | Teens and Up Audiences] James Bond comes into Q Branch after a mission with all of his equipment accounted for and in tact, and a complete mission report in Q's inbox. Q is pleasantly surprised and more than a little suspicious. Rightly so, as it happens, because Bond makes an unusual request of him. And yet, his license to kill is not the only thing that makes the man difficult to say no to...

Breathe With Me by Flantastic [Words: 7,575 | Explicit] When James Bond goes back to MI6 following his disastrous relationship with Dr Madeleine Swann, Q wants nothing to do with him. Then there's an accident in Q-Branch...

Bittersweet by dr_girlfriend [Words:  14,229 | Explicit] The first time Bond flirted with Q, it was purely out of self-defense. The second time Bond flirted with Q was largely manipulation. The third time Bond flirted with Q, he just wanted to feel something. The fourth time Bond flirted with Q was out of sheer boredom.Somehow, flirting with Q became something of a habit for Bond.And then, it became something else.

A Bond of Matrimony by enigma_kar [Words: 12,691 | Mature] The one where Bond’s next mission involves going undercover with Q. Includes: banter, fake marriage, espionage, car chases, life-or-death situations, and Moneypenny taking far too much delight in the whole affair.

as permanent as stone cathedrals by pdameron [Words: 6,002 | Teens and Up Audiences] Q has been in love for two years, six months, and twelve days when James Bond walks away, leaving him with a bleeding head and a broken heart on a dark and noisy London bridge.

just like old times (please don’t ever change) by Rosslyn  [Words:  5,173 | Teens and Up Audiences] Sometimes when Q is alone in his workshop and there is an experiment that needs to be supervised and he can’t go home and he can’t sleep, he watches Bond’s vitals.

How Much Love Can the Weight of Water Carry? by 00QEros (Dassandre) [Words: 39,549 | Explicit] Though Bond returned to MI6 after his ill advised jaunt around the globe with Madeleine Swann, Q still struggles with his own feelings for the agent in spite of the fact that Bond is clearly not the same man as the one who walked away from their friendship on Westminster Bridge. James regrets having left London and MI6, but it is nothing in comparison to the remorse he feels for abandoning Q. However, James has made repairing their friendship his primary goal in the hope of gaining something he never realised he needed as badly as he does. But Bond really hasn’t had a good time of it lately. Breaking his leg in a freak accident, James camps out at Q’s flat when the white-washed, soulless walls of Medical become too much for him to tolerate. Unfortunately, his leg is only the beginning of Bond’s health problems, and Q is conscripted into being James’ caretaker. Confined to the close quarters of Q’s flat, the Quartermaster finds himself opening back up to the agent, but will the two men find their way to one another as they should have done years ago, or is time no longer on their side?

So I guess that’s it for now! I still have a couple in my belt, but most of them are still WIP so I’d keep them for now. I’ll be adding them once they are finished. 

#00Q #James Bond #Q(James Bond) #fanfic rec #fic rec

[codenamed-queenie]

Okay okay. Headcanon for you. So Bruce just being Done With Everything is damn hilarious, especially to his sons. My headcanon is that they have their own secret little competitions to see who can get him the Most Done. Surprisingly? Tim has won twice in a row.

Bruce being Done is my favorite! 😂 I like the way you think @nxxttime

—

Unsurprisingly, it was Dick and Jason who started the game with the simple question: ‘just how many Space Jam references can I fit into this League Briefing before B loses it in front of all his Super Friends?’ (answer: 13)

And from there, it all just sort of escalated.

Batman is Tired™ and Done™ 105% of the time, but getting a rise out of him is surprisingly rare. Cracking the stoic man like an egg is one of the kids’ favorite pastimes, but while it’s fun to see their dad Lose It…bonus points are given for the I Give Up Face.

What is the I Give Up Face, you may ask? Simple: It’s what happens with Bruce Wayne has transcended anger and annoyance completely and is now on a whole ‘nother plane of apathy. It’s a beautiful thing to see.

And every Batkid has one objective–to be the first person to get the poor man to make that spiritual transition.

As a rule, Dick goes errs on the side of subtlety–little buttons that he just knows to press in order to get a rise out of Bruce. Thrown-in references, irksome words and phrases (i.e. moist, slurp, lugubrious, etc. Alfred got him a dictionary for Christmas, and Bruce’s jaw almost popped out of alignment.) But when he’s in the mood for something a little more noticeable, he sings pop songs off-key over the comms or in Bruce’s ear while he’s trying to study case files. (The most effective ones include Toxic, Call Me Maybe, Mama Mia, and anything by Ke$ha) He’s also not above poking Bruce when he’s being ignored.

Jason, though he can be subtle when the situation calls for it, absolutely thrives on brute force. How many times can he shove Damian off a roof or toss Tim out a window before Bruce busts a blood vessel or five? How many times can he go ‘undercover’ wearing nothing but street clothes and a stick-on dollar-store mustache before he makes his dad look into the camera like he’s on the Office? How many times can he leak ‘confidential information’ to the press in the form of macaroni art and Cut-And-Paste notes before incurring Bruce’s wrathful frustration? The answer might surprise you.

Barbara’s method involves strategy and finesse. For instance, why send Bruce that data he asked for right off the bat (pardon the pun) when she could send a blank file with this:

Or even with this gif, if she’s feeling particularly devious:

Admittedly, Barbara’s the one who gets the least I Give Up Faces out of Bruce. But she gets bonus points for getting him to scream the loudest. The man’s lost five phones to the Gotham City Streets after throwing them in blinding fits of rage.

Damian is like a cat, in that his strategy involves metaphorically placing his finger on Bruce’s metaphorical coffee mug and slowly edging it off his metaphorical desk.

Never. Breaking. Eye. Contact.  

He does this with almost everything. Deliberately breaking rules or bending guidelines in just the right way. Pressing that button. Flipping that switch. Diving off that building. All as he makes absolutely certain that Bruce is there to watch him do it. For Damian, it’s all in the eye-contact. The forceful, yet silent declaration of ‘I can do whatever I want, and there’s not a thing you can do to stop me, father,’ is one of the most surefire ways to get Bruce to Lose It.

Cass is Bruce’s sweet angel child, and would never do any of this to him!

(She totally has, but nothing they can prove. Nothing’s ever been successfully traced back to her.)

Duke’s backtalk is usually Guaranteed to get the I Give Up Face. Not that it’s disrespectful or overly snarky–quite the opposite, in fact. No, no. It’s phrases like ‘I see your point, but why do we have to jump off a roof. Wouldn’t jetpacks make more sense?’ or ‘Maybe I’m wrong, but the giant dinosaur’s kind of an eye-sore, don’t you think?’ that send Bruce off into a dissociating silence.

Duke is 100% aware of what he’s doing, but he gets supreme satisfaction from the ‘naively innocent’ routine. The key is to say his piece at just the right moment. Duke is exceptionally good at gauging Bruce’s level of volatility. So much so, that his new siblings will often  come to him to ask just how far away Bruce is from the tipping point.

Stephanie is a ‘Jack of All Trades’, you might say. She picks and chooses from her siblings’ strategies and methods. And then she amps up the ante. To Steph, ‘bigger is better’ isn’t just a turn of phrase–it’s gospel.

Dick’s blasting ‘Dancing Queen’ over the comms? Cool, cool, but what if we broad-casted it over the League’s party line at ten times the volume? Jason’s coated the batarangs with pink glitter? Let’s set a spring-loaded trigger in the Batmobile, rigged with forty-eight pounds of the stuff. Barbara’s screwing with Bruce’s data feed? Hack his visual feed with an eighteen-hour loop of Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up.

Out of all of them, Stephanie is the one with the most I Give Up Face wins.

But Tim?

Tim is a force of chaos that is not to be trifled with. As unpredictable as the elements, and twice as frightening when the occasion calls for it. The only reason that he doesn’t have the most wins is simply because he never actively participates in the game. But he’s done everything from sleepwalking, to publicly embarrassing Bruce, to T-Posing in places where he shouldn’t. (i.e. on top of a GCPD patrol car or barrel of toxic chemicals.)

Twice, Tim committed acts that triggered the I Give Up Face so quickly, so completely, that the others could only gape, and declare him the winner.

The first was during a bank robbery. The gun-toting thieves pointed their weapons at Batman, Nightwing, and Red Robin and screamed, “Don’t move or we’ll shoot!”

Tim proceeded to Fortnite Dance enthusiastically.

Bruce could only stare off into the distance (the thugs were watching, transfixed, with expressions of horrified fascination) and contemplate his life choices. After the fact, Dick swore to anyone who’d listen that he’d never seen Bruce dissociate that quickly.

The second time it happened, Tim was once again on Live Television (a foolish decision that the Wayne Enterprises higher-ups have finally learned from and vowed never to repeat). He was supposed to be giving a speech, but instead, blankly stared at the crowd, and proceeded to recite the entire script of the 1975 cinematic classic, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Tim refused to be removed from the stand, and managed to fight off security while somehow keeping his mouth close to the mic.

Bruce came to terms with the fact years ago: he may lead a dangerous life. He may put his life on the line daily, nightly, and every moment in between. But it won’t be the villains or the thugs that finally kill him–

–it’ll be his children.

#batfam #dc #batfamily #batman headcanons #bruce wayne #batman #dick grayson #nightwing #red hood #jason todd #stephanie brown #spoiler #cassandra cain #batgirl #barbara gordon #oracle #damian wayne #robin #duke thomas #signal #thanks @nxxttime! #this was really fun #i know you said just the boys #but i couldn't resist

[krolock-in-the-snowlock]

I watched Broadway’s Dance of the Vampires so you don’t have to

Ever wondered how bad the broadway version actually is? Now’s your chance to find out, my friend...

So about a month ago, I came across a bootleg of the broadway show and, because it was late and I am a Certified Idiot, I decided to watch it and write down my thoughts. Having heard how bad it was, I knew to expect a train wreck, but I had no idea just how much of a train wreck it was going to be until I pressed play and witnessed something that truly cannot be described in words.

I was originally just going to post my whole list of thoughts but it ended up being over 5000 words (many of which were me screaming NO and wHYYY) so I’ve put it in a separate post, so click that link if you want to read it in its entirety!

Instead, I’ve decided to do a (slightly) shorter summary of ‘highlights’, if they can really be called that, with a kind of silly score for each ‘category’. A review, if you will. I’m sure I’ll have missed some things, but this should hopefully at least give you an idea of what exactly they did to poor Tanz der Vampire. Still, I apologise for the length of this in advance - I just had a lot of thoughts, okay?

A quick disclaimer: While I have seen clips of producations of Tanz from various countries, I’ve only seen the whole production once - the Berlin bootleg from somewhere around 2009-11 - so I’ll mostly be comparing with that!

I know the broadway musical is a big taboo subject, so I’m not expecting many, if any, to actually read any of this. But if you ever wondered how bad it was and didn’t want to have to actually watch it, this post is for you!

So, without further ado…

The Characters: -7/10

Let me begin by saying that many of the characters bear almost no resemblance to the originals. The worst case, of course, is with Giovanni von Krolock. A cringeworthy caricature, his awful faux-Italian accent, terrible jokes and horrifying bat form make him the polar opposite of what Krolock is supposed to be. In my notes, I actually referred to him as Giovanni rather than Krolock, because this is not Krolock; where Krolock is mysterious, aloof, powerful, and occasionally slightly sarcastic, Giovanni is silly, makes puns in nearly every line, and commands no respect or fear whatsoever. I resent that I began to ironically enjoy mocking him by the time I’d finished watching it.

Alfred is absurdly confident and confrontational, and narrates everything he writes in his journal (and tbh is probably a closeted bi). Sarah now apparently has friends and is allowed to leave her room. Koukol doesn’t exist, and is replaced by a man that Krolock hypnotises, who sometimes acts like a dog. Herbert is French, ridiculously stereotypical, and there is a very poor attempt from Krolock at pronouncing his name in a French accent. The other characters are fortunately mostly the same as the originals, although not entirely.

The Music: 2.5/10

Oh, the music… how do I begin?

Long story short, it was generally horrible. Multiple songs were cut entirely, and others were mashed together into strange frankensongs. The opening song, for instance, is completely different (and was what immediately made me realise I’d made a terrible mistake in deciding to watch it). The lyrics were mostly not as interesting as the original German lyrics, and often had less syllables, so the songs often felt empty and drawn out.

Many of the songs had slightly different overall meanings/purposes to their German counterparts, and I though that songs like Total Eclipse and Invitation to the Ball were way too sappy and romantic, lacking any of the drama and tension of Totale Finsternis and Einladung zum Ball. Krolock had been so ridiculous the whole time that Die Unstillbare Gier sadly could never have worked, even if the lyrics had been better. The singing itself was actually pretty good from what I remember, which was the only thing that saved the music, but Krolock’s horrible accent ruined many of the songs he was in. There was so much potential for it to be good if they’d just done a faithful adaption…...

I could go on forever about the music (as I do in my full commentary) but that would probably need a whole new post! So instead let’s move on to…

The Costumes: 2/10

Boring. Sarah’s red ball gown is nice enough, but all of the other vampires’ costumes are painfully simple and poorly designed. Krolock lacks a cape for most of the musical (which is a crime), Herbert is dressed in a hideous bright blue coat and an aggressively yellow wig, and the finale costumes are just simple black leather coats. It all lacks any of the detail or, in Herbert’s case, sparkle, of any of the other versions of the costumes that I’ve seen. While I should probably note that this was in 2002, it is still noticeably simpler than other productions of Tanz around the same time. Krolock also lacks his usual makeup, and Herbert’s is just ugly. And Krolock’s top hat in the opening? Why???

The Staging: -5/10

When they aren’t dancing, most of the ‘staging’ is just the characters at opposite sides of the stage facing each other. It doesn’t matter what is supposed to be happening in the scene, or the message of the song; they just... stand there. Occasionally, if you’re lucky, the characters might stand next to each other, but such close proximity is a rare occurrence in Dance of the Vampires, saved mostly for Alfred or Krolock with Sarah or Herbert and, in a strange duet about books, Krolock and Professor Ambronsius.

Krolock does pretty much nothing in Die Unstillbare Gier, and the staging for Einladung zum Ball was very confusing, at least when they weren’t just standing still. Sarah’s bedroom inexplicably becomes a cloudy place with no floor, and it was never quite clear whether the scene was a dream or not. Considering the rest of the musical, either possibility is honestly equally likely. At one point at the start of the first act, Krolock literally rises out of the ground in a huge coffin. I could go on. Also the sponge Krolock gives Sarah is a fraction of the size of the one he gives her in the original, which I like to think is a metaphor for the broadway production itself.

The Sets: 3/10

While not accurate to any other versions at the time or since, a couple of the sets were admittedly quite pretty (though still not quite on Kentaur’s level). However, there was no inn structure for the first act, and some of the sets were quite limited. One of the most popular (and nicest) sets in the second act is a huge stairway covered in a frankly impractical number of candles.

In the finale, despite the characters on multiple occasions declaring that the story takes place in Transylvania in “18something”, the background is for some reason Times Square with all of its neon signs (which I’m pretty sure did most certainly not exist in the 1800s). Whether a huge location change and time skip of a couple hundred years has taken place or whether the directors and set designers finally gave up trying to make the story make sense, I have no idea.

Worst Moments:

I just had to include this section! These are only a few of the worst and/or most bizarre moments I could pick out. I’m sure there’s more that I forgot but here are some (read: quite a few) of my favourites:

Krolock, wearing a top hat, rising from the ground in a giant coffin before saying, “God has left the building”

Krolock appearing as a hideous animated bat thing

Sarah and her friends getting high on mushrooms in the opening

The fact that Sarah’s birthday is on Halloween at midnight during the total eclipse of the moon

Krolock offering Alfred a sponge shaped like a penis then slowly tilting it down when Alfred says no

Ambronsius decorating Sarah’s room in Halloween decorations to scare off Krolock

Krolock genuinely being convinced that Sarah is a literal princess until he visits her room

Krolock and Ambronsius harmonising about books together

The big grey winged gargoyle demons dancing on the bed during Carpe Noctem

Krolock repeatedly dressing in a big grey dress and pretending to be his own mother/wife/who even knows what

Alfred angrily threatening Krolock, followed by Krolock physically attacking Alfred (this happens on more than one occasion)

The nonsense ‘prophecy’ they randomly introduce

“I use my body as a bandage, I use my body as a wound” (and this is instead of “Ich will frei und freier werden, und werde meine Ketten nicht los”) WHAT DOES IT MEAN

Koukol-replacement saying, “Okay, here he is, the man you’ve all been waiting for, his excellency… the Count von Krolock!) and Krolock waving and pointing like a rockstar as he kisses people walking down the stairs to the ball

Krolock dramatically dying on the stairs at the end of the ball for a solid minute

The Good Parts

Surprisingly, there were a few redeeming features!

Firstly, the couple of songs where they kept things very similar to the source material (such as Knoblauch) were actually quite good at times. Unfortunately, this isn’t to say that they were necessarily good, but compared to the less faithful parts they were a nice surprise, even if Knoblauch was never my favourite song from Tanz.

The singing itself was generally pretty good too! I also hate to admit that I did at times find myself laughing a little at the awful jokes.

And... uhh...

...yeah, that’s about it...

Some Highlights From My Notes:

And finally, here are some out of context quotes from my notes that I feel sum up the musical quite well:

It sounds like he’s about to start a really sad rave

I was gonna roast the lyrics some more but I’m gonna be honest I’m not sure what he’s saying

This feels on the same level of what kind of acid trip hallucination parallel universe have I landed in as seeing the Cats film in the cinema

Is this actually Deadpool in disguise with all the fourth wall breaking

Crawford looks like he regrets everything and can I just say Michael so does everybody else

He looks like a potato or a rock or that neutral nicolas cage face that people put on the sequin cushion

This sounds like a poorly written Krolock/reader wattpad fanfic

Giovanni would highkey be like lol arent i so random rawr xd on myspace

He might as well have said, “Itsa me, Mario”

They’re just stood there like two pigeons aimlessly squawking at each other

Alfred is like a chihuahua with small dog syndrome barking at a bigger dog, except Giovanni is barely bigger and is a flea-infested Chinese Crested dressed in a cheap Halloween costume

The throne glides like a magic carpet only it doesn’t leave the ground so I suppose it’s actually more like a chair with wheels, which is much less exciting

He just stands there like a poorly-dressed rock

-22/10 would not listen again

Final Comments:

So, if you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and I hope that was somewhat informative and/or entertaining for you! It took me weeks to get through the whole musical because I couldn’t stand watching it for too long at a time, and maybe you can see why! Like I said at the start of this monster of a post, there’s probably a lot that I’ve forgotten to mention, so if you’re unfortunate enough to have seen any of this car crash of a musical, feel free to add your thoughts! :D

#tanz der vampire #dance of the vampires #watching the broadway production was a good 4 hours of my life that I’ll never get back #was it worth it? #honestly I’m not sure #but here we are

[alfgarcix]

[ ALFRED GARCIA ] is a [ TWENTY ONE ] year old [ PSYCHOLOGY ] major. [ HE ] is known for being [ INTELLIGENT & EASY GOING ] but [ CALCULATING & SPITEFUL ].  when i think of them, i imagine [ DRUNK MEALS AT 4AM, ROARING ENGINES AND AN UNMADE BED ]. and even though they’re a proud HU student now, we all have our roots. theirs run back to them being a [ MHP (AER) ] graduate.  i asked around and it turns out they [ AREN’T ] an AOP student. in their interview, they managed to woo the admissions team by [ PRESENTING A TEN MINUTE TED TALK ON TWO RANDOM TOPICS SELECTED BY THE ADMISSIONS TEAM ]. i guess that’s all there is to know! unless…

tw: slight abuse

BASICS

NAME: Alfred Garcia

NICKNAME: Freddie, Alf

BIRTHDAY: March 1

MBTI: ENFP

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral

ENNEAGRAM TYPE: 8, The Challenger

BACKGROUND

His mother is the owner of a huge chain restaurant across America, Canada and Mexico, his father, a retired soldier turned politician. So Alfred comes from a rich family but is completely lowkey about it. He never talks about what his parents do and usually covers up saying that his mom worked at a restaurant and his father was just a retired soldier.

Some people know though, because of course he was in newspapers a few times. Some for his parents, and some for his own achievements. 

Now look closely. His parents are tough on him, completely. His father is very strict, sometimes verbally and physically violent, but only in very rare occasions. Alfred didn’t resent his father for it but what he did do was rebel out of spite.

In middle school and in high school, he turned to everything that could make his parents go crazy. His mother, the ever so liberal woman, brushed it off as rebellion because of her husband’s attitude towards their son. His father? Turned red in the face whenever Alfred would come home when the sun is up.

What made it the best kind of rebellion was that they could never say anything against it. Because Alfred would always make it to school the next day and end up acing all his exams. He’s a very gifted child. Smart, athletic. People wonder how he manages his time.

So fast forward, of course he had to go to Hatchett considering his parents are both alumni of the school. It’s the only time he was open about who his parents are.

He’s very smart and continues to be. He’s also very athletic, having done a few sports even before stepping into college.

PERSONALITY

So, for personality, the whole point about Alfred is that he’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing, or sheep in wolf’s clothing. He’s only got two sides to him and it’s as real as it gets. So you either get that intelligent, calm, ambitious Alfred, or you get the wild, hungover, spiteful Freddie.

He’s a true charmer, really. He knows how to get what he wants, with or without the family background and the thick wallet. 

He’s very ambitious. Despite rebelling against his father just to piss him off, Alfred wants to be a lawyer, and eventually maybe follow in his father’s footsteps into politics. It’s why he works harder, even with his natural talents.

With his friends, he’s totally loyal. He would go out of his way to do things for them in times of need. But once that trust is broken, he will have no intentions of picking the pieces back up. 

Romantically too, he’s the same. But he’s more wishy washy with that. He had always thought Muse 39 was the one for him and that made him chase after her, but upon finding out that he was played, immediately turned his back on the idea of winning her back.

Since then he’s been more out there with the idea of dating. He’s scared to commit again, but when someone catches his eye, he’s definitely all for them.

So evidently, he hates being on the shorter end of the stick. His pride is too high for that. He always wants to be the one winning and to be the one who gets the better deal.

PLOTS

For standard plots, go here. These are the usual, best friends, fwbs, etc.

But what I specifically want are:

High school friends, his circle of friends please!

Family friend with tension (sexual, some weird rivalry, any)

On and Off, "we're just friends", but could probably be something more

Fake dated, had feelings, totally awkward now

Good girl/boy gone bad bc of his influence

An anchor who fusses over him after drunken nights and calls him in the morning to check 

Give me all the plots!

#hatchet:intro #intro

[cryptids-and-muses]

I had a weird and/or awesome idea for a bat family story.

I don’t think I’m gonna actually write it but I felt like sharing the outline and ideas for the story. This is a mix of a few continuities because I do what I want, and have trouble keeping everything straight. Feel free to add stuff or make suggestions. Now strap in cause I have some thoughts.

So this guy in Gotham is experimenting with transdimensional technology. Oracle discovers what he’s doing and how dangerous it is so she sends the bat family after him. Nightwing, Red Hood, Spoiler, Red Robin, Black Bat, and Robin go after this guy but he sets off a machine and transports them to a different dimension. The main difference of this dimension is that the Graysons never died which set off quite the chain of events, but our heroes don’t know that yet. Cut to this universe’s Batman finding a gaggle of people ranging from early teens to their twenties dressed in weird costumes smoking in a crater. Not to mention a few of them have bats on their chest. This Batman never had a partner outside of Alfred so when they try to explain who they are it doesn’t go great because Batman can’t even imagine working with one kid let alone six. Then he starts to realize a few of these people seem familiar.

In this universe, Dick would have lived with his parents a bit longer but would have eventually been taken by the Court of Owls to become their Grey Son and new talon. Bruce recognizes him after a while because he’s fought him before. It takes a little because he acts drastically different from his unfeeling counterpart in this universe but Bruce probably figures it out after seeing him do some acrobatics, or hears one of the others call him ‘Grayson.’ The realization is pretty jarring for Bruce and it’s really unsettling to see the cold soulless assassin he knows so full of life. He doesn’t tell the bat family that he knows his universe’s Grayson, because that's totally something Batman would do and fun plot stuff later.

He doesn’t know who Jason is AT ALL. He still meets him the same way in this universe but doesn’t take him in. There’s no role of Robin to fill and he has no idea how to care for a child. Bruce does send him to the wayward school for boys but doesn’t really check up on him after that. The whole event becomes a sort of weird story like “remember that one kid who tried to steal tires off the batmobile?” What happens Jason afterward is harder to figure out. Maybe he became a low-level street criminal or a gang leader or ended up in jail. I can’t quite figure it out. What Batman does know is that the boy he meets is using the Joker’s old alias, carries a lot of guns, and looks like he won’t hesitate to use them. None of which is painting a very good picture. This could lead to a cool moment where Bruce, unaware of Jason’s Tragic Backstory™ and fragile truce with his family (Jason is gonna be a lot closer with his siblings in this au), yells at him for this and the others defend him.

Batman probably recognizes Spoiler first. Stephanie would have still gone after her father and created the spoiler persona, even without the inspiration of Robin. However, she wouldn’t have anyone to train her and Batman would be actively discouraging her from going out as Spoiler. That’s not going to stop Steph from being Spoiler but she probably doesn’t operate on a large scale like she does as part of the batfamily. Not only does she have to avoid villains in this universe but also Batman because he doesn’t think she should get involved in vigilante work and tries to stop her when he can. So he sees this version of Steph in a higher tech version of her Spoiler costume and is just so exhausted.

Tim still totally knows who Batman is in this universe. He may not have had Robin to compare to the Grayson’s acrobatics but he would have figured it out somehow. That's where a lot of the similarities end though. Tim would still live with his parents (who are alive) and never really get involved with Batman directly. He became a vigilante because Batman needed a Robin, but here the role of Robin never existed. Tim probably still takes pictures of Batman and that hero worship never really went away. He’s also still an amazing detective even without any formal training. Bruce knows of Tim but doesn't figure out how much he knows, or that Red Robin is an alternate version of him.

Bruce also doesn't know who Cassandra is because he never met her. Her origin stays pretty much the same except she never joins the batfamily. She’d just be out on the streets doing her own thing, on the run from David Cain.

Now with Damian, things get interesting. Another slight change I’d like to make to the universe the batfamily land in is that Damian never left the League of Assasins. Damian has met and fought Batman on a few occasions but Bruse doesn’t know that Damian is his son. Partly because Damian keeps part of his face covered so he can’t see the resemblance. When he meets Robin he has a feeling he’s familiar but can’t quite place it. He realizes this is Talia’s son a little after he recognizes Grayson. Then there's the really intense exchange of “You’re Damian Al Ghul” “No I’m Damian Wayne!” This is extremely shocking for Bruce because of the realization that he has a son. That son is in the League of Assassins! His mother is Talia al Ghul! He has met said son and didn’t even know it! It sets off all sorts of emotions.

As for the actual story, aside from just the general shenanigans of Bruce interacting with the children of his alternate self and trying to get them home, I was thinking that it would start with the alternate universe’s Tim. In this universe Tim is still a genius detective, he’s just not as good because he doesn’t have the training. So he would start poking around in Gotham and discover a huge conspiracy linked to the Court of Owls and decided to figure out just how powerful they are and how deep the conspiracy runs. Cause investigating an all-powerful organization completely on his own with no training is the type of stuff Tim does Batman or no Batman. He only recently discovered the court and is still investigating it when the batfamily show up so Batman isn’t aware Tim knows about the Court or that he’s been looking into them. The Court finds out about Tim’s investigation and send Talon to kill him. The bat family then have to protect this universe’s Tim from Talon, who is Dick. This causes a lot of angst, drama, and family bonding as the batfamily figure out how this universe is different from theirs. I’d love for the other members of the batfamily to get roped into the story somehow too but I’m not sure how. I feel like this story has a lot of potencail and couldn’t just leave it in my head. 

Random Funny Stuff for this au

Dick named a lot of the equipment and stuff Batman uses so in this universe things would probably be named very differently.

Tim: We’ll need to use the bat computer.

Alt Bruce: The what computer?

Tim: You know? The large computer set up in the cave?

Alt Bruce: Yeah but you called it the bat computer.

Tim: Well what do you call it?

Alt Bruce: The computer.

Tim: …..that just feels wrong.

Damian: Yes I know this part of the cave. This is where we keep Batcow.

Alt Bruce: Where you keep what?!

Alt Barbra: My name is Detective Barbra Gordon. Give me one good reason I shouldn’t arrest you all right now.

Jason: Looks like Babs is a Badass in every universe.

Dick: Did you expect any less?

Jason: Honestly? No.

Alt Jim Gordon: *Sees the batfamily* Oh dear god they’re multiplying.

During the Talon fight

Talon: I am the Grey Son of Gotham.

Stephanie: Dick, sweetie, I know you like wordplay but this is low even for you. Get some better material.

Jason: Damn Goldie! When you go dark you don’t fuck around!

Tim: I thought if one of my siblings was going to kill me it’d be Robin. But not you Nightwing, never you.

Dick: I appreciate the attempt at humor but can we please focus.

Alt Bruce: I think my alternate self has a problem with adoption.

Jason: THAT'S WHAT WE KEEP SAYING!!!!

Alt Damian: I heard the bat was working with new warriors but looking at you now I doubt you are even worthy to die by my blade.

*Entire batfamily is silent for a moment before bursting into uncontrollable laughter*

Damian: Do I really sound like that?

Tim: He’s even worse than when the brat first showed up! I didn’t even think that was possible!

#its crazy how different everything would be #batfamily #fanfic outline #batkids #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin #stephanie brown #spoiler #cassandra cain #black bat #batgirl #bruce wayne #batman #barbra gordon #oracle #gotham #DC comics #au #dimension travel #talon!Dick #damian al ghul #court of owls #league of assassins #talon