#actual borderline | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

selfaware-stalker · 8 months

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Im experiencing somthing so pure i want to ruin it.

I want to take my claws and tear the sweet treat ive been given apart

I fear my kisses will turn into bites,

I fear my hugs will turn into bone breaking

I dont know how to love, i only know how to harm.

Im used to love where if i drove a knife through their arm a knife would come flying at my leg.

Where pain was a game we played when we were bored. Where we would stop fighting when we both passed out from exhaustion.

This love is diffrent

This pure love. Its a completely diffrent kind of treat. So sweet, no aftertaste or salt.

Oh how i fear i will taint the candy with my presence. Grab the candy and turn it black.

#yancore #actually yandere #irl yandere #obsessive yandere #obsessive love #actually mentally ill #bpd vent #actual borderline #never have bpd

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haunted-muse · 1 year

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The feeling of not having a fp is so freeing and in the same time I feel so empty and I'm trying so hard not to develop a new fp because I'm so scared of becoming obsessed with them which means that I'm pushing people away the moment that I think I might like them.

#bpd things #actual bpd #actual borderline #borderline feels #bpd stuff #bpd favorite person #bpd vent #diary

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theborderlinepersonalitydiary · 2 years

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don’t fuck up my attempt at peace because you can’t even find yours.

#bpd rant #bpd problems #bpd feels #bpd rage #bpd peace #bpd thoughts #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #actual borderline

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vilea777 · 1 month

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sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

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worthless-mess · 7 months

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"Are you ok?" I'm actually tired bro. From the bottom of my heart I'm tired

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unbearable-swagger · 9 months

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I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur

#mecore #actually borderline #bpd #bpd mood #bpd meme #npd #npd mood #npd meme #actually narcissistic #npd safe #1k #5k #10k #15k #20k #25k #30k #40k #50k #60k #70k

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bl0w-m3 · 10 months

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Thanks for hanging out with me! Was I cool? did you like me? What do you think of me in detail? Do you hate me?

#bpd #actually bpd #mental health #bpd shit #actually borderline #bpd shitposting #bpd problems #mental illness #bpd mood #bpd meme

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ohara-n-brown · 5 months

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As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

#autism #bpd #borderline personality disorder #actually autistic #neurodivergent #neurodivergency #neurodiversity #cluster b

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honeypleasejustkillme · 10 months

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therapists saying you're surprisingly self aware is like being called a pleasure to have in class for adults

#actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd fp #actually borderline #bpd vent #bpd favorite person #bpd mood #bpd shitposting #bpd #bpd problems

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selfaware-stalker · 8 months

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