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#a little spoiler: there will be some new things coming to this blog- hope you guys like it :D <33

bobluvbot · 27 days

Text

late night cravings

pairing: sirius black x afab!reader summary: you sneak off the night for a cheeky midnight snack, hoping sirius won’t notice (spoiler alert: he does, and he’s sulky about it) wc: 4k cw: pregnancy & baby talk, descriptions of food and eating, brief allusions to sex (not directly stated), no physical traits of reader specified but sirius can hold things out of reader’s reach a/n: so i had a lengthy angst fic for sirius’s debut on my blog and im halfway done on it but i cant seem to finish it bc it sends me to a depressing spiral each time <33333 so pls enjoy a very self-indulgent domestic excessively fluffy blurb with my beloved <33333 p.s this is not proofread so plz ignore mistakes ty <3

opening the tomato salsa jar turned out to be the hardest part.

back in bed, you thought the trickiest part of your late night escapade from sirius black was his long limbs wound up tight with yours, even in low light of the small nightlight in the corner, you could still make out the intricate script and designs following the curves and dips of his strong arms, holding you close to his chest.

you had it committed to memory by now, having explored sirius’s body well enough to memorize the way his skin feels against yours, with heartbeats and breaths falling in sync without much effort.

judging by the way his breathing gets heavy after every exhale and the little snores that escape in between, you knew he was beyond knackered. it was day five of sirius’s new job as an deputy director at the auror office. the day he learned about the promotion was pure unadulterated happiness. after letting you know through an express owl, you mustered up enough vigor available to your seven months pregnant self to get out of the house and go to the local shops to get party supplies and food to celebrate sirius’s achievement.

Coming in third out of the list of things he genuinely loved in this life, after you and his luscious locks of course, was his job as an auror. young sirius had never thought in his wildest dreams that he’d work at the ministry, much less actually enjoy it. can’t really blame sixteen year old sirius, starting an underground rock band with the marauders seemed like the perfect thing to do after gruelling hours of studying at hogwarts.

defense against the dark arts came to him naturally, with some counterspells like second nature to him as being exposed with use of dark magic young gave him no choice but to grow up quickly and defend himself from the excruciating pain or the mind control that was from his own family’s doing. Winning the first wizarding war alongside his friends and found family has solidified sirius’s calling in eradicating the use of dark magic and making sure the next generation can have a safe and normal life without the looming threat of a megalomaniac sorting people with their blood status and taking over the wizarding world.

that night, sirius walked into a dark and eerily quiet home that had his senses on overdrive. but when the lights turned on and he saw familiar faces of his loved ones all beaming with pride, and there you were in the center, looking ethereal and round and all his, with his favorite red velvet cake on hand and a ridiculously big balloon that says “congratulations” tied to the candle, he could have melted in a syrupy mess of gooey happiness right then and there if he hadn’t caught himself together last minute.

Sirius had thought– that after you agreeing to go on one date with him to hogsmeade, winning the quidditch cup and seeing the proud look on minerva’s face, going home for christmas break and euphemia welcoming him with a kiss on the cheek and a warm hug, remus teaching at the very same classroom you all were in years back, james and lily’s first kiss at the altar, holding little baby harry in his arms, you walking down the aisle with a bouquet of peonies in the most beautiful dress, and when you held his hand that one night and told him that you were expecting—- that he knew of love. but you do something extraordinary that has him scrambling to add to the endless list of why you’re the love of his life. he was so focused on you that he wasn’t prepared to catch pure muscle of james’s body as he flung himself to tackle his best friend in a hug. luckily, remus with a party hat was aptly standing between a toppling sirius and the living room wall, and he singlehandedly saved the two from creating a huge hole in the drywall.

this was the life, sirius had thought after many hours of partying celebrating and eating, when he laid beside you in bed, limbs tangled, sated and dizzy and warm as you both came down from your highs. and he gets to spend it with you.

but as fun and exciting sirius’s new job is, it entailed an increased amount of responsibility as he was assisting the head auror. his least favorite part of the job was the boatloads of paperwork he has to deal with. An express owl almost dropped a howler letter into the soup you were making for dinner earlier that day and you opened it up panicking thinking it was an emergency. But no, it was just sirius whining that his hand hurt and is about to fall off and that he needs you to kiss it better.

You did eventually, and one thing led to another and here you were, tucked in your husband’s warm embrace. you could stay here forever, only separating to drink water and bathroom trips, but the gnawing urge to eat something savory, sweet, tangy, and crunchy has possessed your entire being, the only way to quell it was to get up and go to the kitchen. the baby doesn’t seem to have a semblance of time yet, a fact you both envied and despised, because the clock on your nightstand said it was 3:48am in bold red numbers. A few months ago, you’d never be caught dead awake at this time, taking your precious sleep time seriously. The man himself would poke fun at you and say you’d gladly sleep through an earthquake or a housefire just as long as you get your seven to eight hours of sleep per day, and despite of your assumed role of contradicting and arguing with spontaneous and stubborn sirius, you had to agree.

But this was not about you anymore, or at least not quite yet for a good seventeen years, so you untangle yourself from sirius and your perfectly warm and cool side of the bed and waddle down the carpeted stairs, careful not to set foot on the creaky step that might risk waking sirius up. You need your secrets too, and you’re not in the mood to share food.

Grateful for the heavens that you and sirius stocked up on groceries two days ago, you had a wide selection of random items to munch on. A few days ago, you were introduced to the idea of a fluffernutter sandwich while scrolling through the short videos on your feed. Peanut butter and marshmallow fluff as spreads on their own was something you didn’t mind eating, but both together in a sandwich? You were enthralled, and the only way to quell the curiosity was to make it. So you did.

You shovel and slather more than enough spread on each slice of bread, though you might have used the same spoon on both jars.. but who’s to tell you off otherwise, your snoozing husband upstairs? pfft.

Smiling happily as if committing a particularly naughty crime, you place the spoon in your mouth, licking off the gooey mixture as you place the sandwich on a piece of paper towel (yes, you take the no dishwashing tonight seriously) on the table. humming, you mull over what to prepare next.

The baby needs something savory and tangy, but you’re not particularly keen on going through all the effort of heating up the soup from dinner, not to mention the amount of cutlery and dishes you’ll use for that, so you zero in on the tostada shells you chose rather than tortilla chips because its much more crispier.

Opening the fridge, you see the laughing cow on a round packaging and decide its the one, so you grab two cheese wedges from it.

Sirius had argued that the next aisle had actual, real blocks of cheese with a variety on display and that there was no point in getting artificially flavored ones. But you’ve gotten really good at giving him the stank face, which inadvertently ends 75 percent of nonsense bickering before it even starts; and since you’ve started showing more and more, sirius has admittedly gone softer on you, not that he was ever more but a pushover your entire relationship. Merely widening of eyes and a jut of your lower lip, even adding a slight tremble or two during times where you did actually fuck up, sirius can’t hold his stance longer than a minute before sighing and taking you in his arms. he might call you out for being a brat at times, but there’s no denying he loves it. And so the artificial wheel of cheese wedges got purchased and bagged home, and you’re meticulously spreading it over the golden shells, leaving little to no gaps of it bare.

Laying it on another paper towel, your heart gets giddy on your chest knowing you’re in for a treat tonight. But not quite time to start munching, the baby reminds you that you still need something tangy to complete the meal. So comes your big predicament, should you get dill pickles or tomato salsa?

It took you ten seconds too long of weighing down the pros-and-cons of choosing one and feeling like you made the wrong choice if you end up not liking it. It doesn’t help that the pregnancy hormones make you more anxious and tend to put you always on the verge of tears. So when the not-so-groundbreaking idea of just eating them both hits you, you feel the weight slide off your shoulders as you sigh. Because again, who’s gonna tell you that eating pickles this late at night can give you bad acid reflux, your snoozing husband? Pfft.

Snacking on some, you do manage to pick out the juiciest looking pickle chips and lay them atop of your tostadas. You and the little one are beyond excited to dive in. It’s looking like a mini upside-down pizza with the cheese spread first then the pickle as toppings. Only thing left now was the the tomato salsa slathered on top to seal the deal.

Opening tight lids wasn’t an issue for you before, in fact, you took pride when friends hand you a jar or bottle to open because you could do it in a breeze. Chances were, the lid wasn’t even screwed on that tight, you were just built different, you’d say with a shrug once you give the items back. So when the tomato jar doesn’t budge after two attempts, you get puzzled.

Maybe your hands were slippery? You wipe them down with a tea towel and try again. No.

You weren’t holding it tight enough? Fingers held taut against the lid, you try three times. Still no.

Determined, you try different positions before letting the jar go, shooting it glares as if it’d get intimidated and just open up for you. You were also getting lightheaded, and passing out on the kitchen floor due to excessive stimulation of your vagal reflex because you were too stubborn to use magic or wake your husband up to open it for you doesn’t seem like the best way to spend the early Tuesday morning hours.

Magic was even out of the option (well, in your brain it was), because your wand’s tucked beside sirius’s on your nightstand, and frankly, you don’t have the patience to drag yourself upstairs just to flick a utility spell to open the wretched thing. So you do the next best option: lose hope.

The disappointment was mutual between you and your baby. And the acid reflux did start to kick in, making your stomach grumble in both hunger and pain. This was all going so well until it isn’t, tears began to make its way up to your eyes.

“See, this is what you get for being greedy and eating all snacks by yourself,” sirius huffs behind you, deep voice still raspy with sleep. You didn’t even hear him getting out of bed and coming down the stairs, that’s how preoccupied you were with opening the jar.

He grabs the container away from you to open it, but not without throwing a scowl at your direction, handsome face contorted with furrowed eyebrows and downturned mouth, enough to express that he felt betrayed by this whole ordeal. If you were in a better mood, you’d poke his sides and tackle him playfully, teasing him for being sulky. But for now, you need the jar opened so you could eat in peace. You’ll deal with the sharing food issue later.

“t wasn’t supposed to take long,” you mumble, caught off guard and refusing to make eye contact, pretending the fridge magnets beside sirius’s head is ten times more interesting than his face. You don’t miss his raised eyebrow and snort at your response.

The second attempt comes and he opens it with a satisfying pop. your mouth falls agape, eyeing the *now accessible* tomato salsa dip in disbelief. What the hell?

And you couldn’t even take the smug grin spreading across sirius’s face by the millisecond. Refuse to. You try to snatch the open container away from him but he holds it higher and out of reach, making a show of puffing his chest, flexing his biceps, even giving it a kiss. This is all James’s doing, you need to have a talk with Lily soon about keeping these two separated.

“Sirius!” you try to plead your way out. the trademark innocent, pouty expression settles on your face like a second mask, hoping he’d go down this easy.

It doesn’t work. He just chuckles, mocking your pleas and face while his free hand sneaks up and pinches your unsuspecting cheek to tease you further.

You yelp in mock outrage and swat his hand away, trying your best to keep your displeasure firm on your face, but you feel the giggles coming up. “This is why I sneak out alone to eat, you’re such a bully,” you huff, but take a seat in front of your makeshift spread.

Sirius places the jar near you, but not without poking your exposed sides, armed with the knowledge that the easiest way to get you laughing (and eventually conceding in an argument) is knowing where your tickle zones are. “Oh yeah,” he drawls, plopping himself beside you. “That’s also why you’re the only one waking up with an upset stomach, stinking up our bathroom so early in the morning.”

Now this one got you appalled, embarrassed, disturbed, basically hit with all the feelings. You’ve been living together long before you got married, and he never brought up this issue until today. “That’s it. I’m leaving.” He makes a move to snatch the sandwich away but the embarrassment on your cheeks made you more agile, swatting his hand away and shielding the sandwich with your hands. “After I finish my meal,” you continue, shooting him a glare.

But see, one of the things that drove you nuts even way back at Hogwarts, was how Sirius Black mostly managed to outsmart you or be one step ahead of you in everything. After you turned him down without much thought whatsoever despite his grand declaration of interest, Sirius took it upon himself to show you (1) that you made a mistake for rejecting him, (2) that his ego won’t let you embarrass him like that again, (3) and that you won’t get rid of him that easily. Once he set his eyes on you, you were face to face with him in everything: grades, OWLs/NEWTs scores, Quidditch plays and bets, wins at the duelling club, even with the fucking gobstones tournament. He never let you catch a break.

Things were surely different now, since you vowed to be with him in sickness and health and untill death parts you both– hell, you’re carrying his child. So you figured maybe, maybe, he’ll let you catch a break this time. Let you eat in peace as you mull over his bathroom comment and how you’re going to get him back.

But again, no. Unlike you, Sirius remembered to grab his wand from the nightstand. Not even batting an eye, he says nonchalantly, “Accio sandwich.” And the fluffernutter you protected with all your physical might managed to escape your watch, and land gracefully on his waiting palm.

What irritated you more from this whole ordeal? The prodigal auror that climbed his way up the ranks and became the youngest deputy director, fully capable of complex spells and wielding different kinds of magic, felt the need to do a verbal Accio spell just to make a point to you.

Out of words, you just stare at him blankly. Too stunned to even cry in frustration because you knew you made a conscious, willing choice to be with this man.

Maybe your best guilt-tripping expression comes best when you’re not trying. Color drains from his face when you remained silent and he scrambles to take a bite off the sandwich before handing it back to you, or rather placing it on your limp hand as you refuse to acknowledge it, still too hurt to budge. “‘m sorry, baby. Just wanted to eat with you since we didn’t get to earlier.”

He did arrive later than usual, deciding to finish the stack of case files and paperwork so he won’t have to sift through them again the next day. There were plans to wait for him before eating, but when the jitteriness and slightly nausea started to kick in, you had no choice in the matter. Sirius had been sulky and clingy the moment he got home, and as compromise, you stayed to watch him eat; listening and reacting animatedly as he ranted about his stressful day.

So you cut him off some slack, also exhausted from all the emotional stimulation sirius brought since he woke up. As a silent peace offering (also because you’re not ready to say sorry to his face), you slide the tostadas within his reach and finally take your bite of the goddamn sandwich. It was good, tasted as expected, sweet peanut butter. You’d probably have it again as a drunk at 3am meal.

Sirius also went and got snacks of his own: microwaved popcorn, pickles, toasted bread slathered with butter, and grapes. Together, you munched on the little spread of random food you could find in your kitchen at 4am in comfortable silence, which is surprising after the earlier bickering. No matter how cheesy it sounded in your head, sirius was the only person that can drive you to the brink of insanity and right back. You were in for a hell of a ride for the foreseeable future; and while there’s a lot of uncertainty right now and changes to be made when the little one gets here, you’re beyond happy that you get to do all this with him.

Sleep was beginning to creep up on you. Of course he notices this right when you do, so a warm arm wrapped across your back urges you to settle on his lap, bodies melding into the familiar crevices like puzzle pieces, though you both had to adjust certain angles to accommodate your growing belly. You sit like this for a while; your head tucked securely in the crook of his neck, steady breaths lulling you to sleep, while sirius’s hands instinctively finds its way under your sleep shirt and on the natural curve of your belly, lithe fingers stroking and drawing soothing circles anywhere he could reach.

you wish you could stay like this forever– cozy and soft and safe– but alas, you were carrying sirius black’s offspring. the baby decides to reward you with a round of kicks, probably giddy after feeling their father’s touch. Sirius chuckles and coos at your bump, while a muffled groan leaves your lips from the sudden onslaught of movement, but still refusing to move from this comfortable position.

Smooth cold lips touch the side of your forehead and you relish in the feeling. “Does it ever hurt, love? All that kicking and wiggling?”

“Not really,” a content sigh leaves your lips. “Feels strange at times, seeing your belly move on its own.”

To prove your point, two tiny bulges make a split second appearance just above where Sirius’s hand lay. His thumb soothes the area lovingly.

“Definitely getting stronger though; Lily told me during the later months, harry for some reason loved to kick downwards, making bathroom trips more frequent than it already is. Not excited for that.”

He presses kisses on your forehead, temple, hairline, anywhere he could reach without moving too much. “Things that you do and endure for this ‘lil troublemaker,” sirius murmurs. He doesn’t need to say it out loud, you could feel his body reverberating with awe and fondness. You try to bask in it for as long as you could, but a passing thought makes its presence known to you again.

“Do i really make the bathroom stink?” it comes out whinier than you intended it to be but you just had to know for peace of mind.

Sirius’s whole frame vibrates as he tries to stifle his laughter, taking you with him. He’s laughing at your expense but you feel your own giggles brewing in your belly. You try to hold it in for longer, preserving some self respect. “A little bit,” he says solemnly. You groan, earlier mortified feeling returning in full swing. It triggers another round of chuckles.

“But dove, it’s nothing that my deep love and adoration for my lovely strong hot and sexy wife can’t handle.” He says assuredly, and you curse yourself for being so down bad for this man as blood rushes to your cheeks from his words. Good thing it’s dim and your face is still tucked in the crook of his neck.

You do pinch his arm in response, and both your laughters compliment the comfortable silence.

“Although,” he says after a while. “The betrayal of you eating without me still hurts.”

“Siri.. i’m sorry,” you mumble. “‘y looked so tired, Didn’t wanna wake you up.”

He tuts and doesn’t say much after that. In sirius dictionary, this means he just wants some affection from you— for you to dote on him and coax out his forgiveness, even if you both know he’s not really mad; judging by his arms still wrapped securely around your frame and steady breaths that tickle and fan on your bare skin.

So you mimic his actions from earlier, planting tiny kisses on his neck, collarbones, jawline, anywhere your lips could reach. Kissing his cheek seem to do the trick, his fake scowl quickly coming undone as a bashful smile breaks through the frown, and his tiny dimple you love so much making an appearance. The muggle maternity books did say dimples are genetic, so an image of a little Sirius running around and smiling up at you with those dimpled cheeks is a warming thought.

“I am charming all the lids to be stuck at night as soon as i wake up tomorrow for work.” You poke a sensitive spot on his side, making him jolt, but you couldn’t resist laughter as it bubbles out of the surface. “You’re insufferable, I can’t believe I married a psychopath.”

“And you let him knock you up too. I’d say it takes one to know one, hm?”

677 notes · View notes

chilschuck · 10 days

Note

AAAA i love your blog!! could i pls request a post-canon scenario where chilchuck finally admits his feelings for reader now that they’re not co-workers anymore >_< (assuming reader joined the laios party during the story)

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ WAAAAH ANON i’m so happy you love my stuff!! i LOVEDDD writing this for you, and i have another request in my askbox that’s similar that i’m going to do as well! this was super fun, and i found myself enjoying this idea and coming up with things i could do with it!!! i hope you enjoy!!! <333

— SHELTER: chilchuck x gn!reader.

꒰ warnings: ꒱ none, sfw fluff!! takes place post-canon.

꒰ wc: ꒱ 1745 (got carried away again…)

✦ i’m scared to reread this, but right now I’m actually happy with it!! i hope you are too!! <333 i tried my best to keep spoilers to a minimum, and to make this fun to read!! also, the title comes from the song shelter by ray lamontagne, which i listened to while writing it. i hope you enjoy!!!

With your party’s adventure finally over, you had decided to try and finally settle down as much as you could. With everyone finding their own new place in life, you did your best to find one too.

You couldn’t deny it had been rather lonely lately. Your own home was empty, a small place you had tried your best to make feel cozy. With your old party members living their own lives, you hoped you could live yours. But evidently, no matter how hard you tried, your mind always went back to him.

It was a bittersweet feeling; imagining him finally living healthily, working on helping others, and even maybe starting up that shop he talked about wanting. It wasn’t like you never saw him, but going on with every day life without him felt… mundane.

Chilchuck was working on himself, reconnecting with his family, and building the future he had hoped for. That alone helped you feel as much at peace as possible. Your feelings, to you, were not nearly as important as his own happiness. So here you waited, counting down the days you’d get to see him again. Maybe he’d be happy to see you too.

Little did you know, Chilchuck was devastatingly nervous. Buttoning up his shirt with shaky fingers, he tried his best to look as decent as he possibly could. It was the final thing he felt he needed to move on, and he wasn’t going to let himself ruin it. Not this, he told himself. There were some things he refused to let slip through his fingers, and one of them were his feelings he had developed for you.

Through it all, you had been by his side. An integral part of the party, you had built him up when he needed it most. Looking past all the mistakes, all the cynicism he liked to cloud himself with, you proved how much you simply cared. Not only for him, but for everyone. Chilchuck had fallen in love with you, and for once, he didn’t want to push those feelings down.

He had bought the flowers he knew you liked, tied with a sweet ribbon that he felt maybe was a bit too much. In fact, maybe all of this was a bit too much, but he hoped it’d work. Chilchuck even went to talk to Marcille about it all, a sign in his own mind that he was more smitten than he had been in years. Not to mention that he had, in fact, reconnected with his ex-wife, and had gained the closure he needed to take this big of a step. There was nothing holding him back now, and he could only hope the words of encouragement he was given would hold true.

Chilchuck had visited your home before, always noting just how comfortable he felt there. You were always happy to have guests lately, and he felt himself praying that this would be the case this time, too. Fist raised in front of your door, he took a deep breath before rapping it against the wood.

The knock came as a surprise, but not as surprising as the person who was behind it. Your eyes widened, his name leaving your lips in delight. “Chilchuck, hello!” It was slightly out of breath from the sheer excitement you had to try and suppress at seeing him here in front of you. Moving to the side, you motioned him in. “Do you… Want to come in?”

One hand behind his back still, trying his best to not snap the stems of the delicate flowers between his fingers, he nodded. “Yeah, sorry for the sudden visit.”

Shaking your head, you walked inside to prepare him something to drink. “Not at all! You know me… I could never say no to seeing you.”

It felt like another of Cupid’s arrows shot him through the chest. Maybe he shouldn’t look too deeply into your words, at least not yet. Following you inside, Chilchuck found himself trying his best to find anything to look at of interest. The plants on your shelves, the well loved books on the table, the occasional trinket you had decided you couldn’t live without… Everything that made it feel so much like you.

While you fiddled around in your small kitchen, Chilchuck cleared his throat. His mouth felt dry, and to try and slow down the thoughts rushing through his head, he spoke up again. “You know… You’ve done a great job with this place. I remember when you bought it.”

You couldn’t help but smile, thinking back fondly of how proud you were. Preparing you both glasses of wine, you turned your attention to him for a moment. “That means a lot, thank you. How have things been with the guild?”

Chilchuck hummed, eyes studying a particular painting on your wall. “Good… Pretty much the usual. Things are going pretty well. What about you, anything interesting since we last saw each other?”

Other than your constant war on your feelings for the half-foot, you’ve been trying new hobbies in order to distract yourself. As you turned to hand him the glass, you racked your brain for something to say. Giving him a sheepish smile, you shook your head. “Not particularly. Here, it’s one you like. Let’s go sit, yeah?”

He held your gaze for a moment, the flowers in his hand a constant reminder of what he was here for. Swallowing hard, he opened his mouth to speak. “Yeah. But first, I have something to give you…”

Finally taking the hand from behind his back, he steeled himself as much as he could before holding them out to you. Quickly setting the glasses down, you let out a sound of surprise. Your hands reached out for them, as delicate as possible.

Chilchuck felt like his face was a bit too hot for something as simple as this, but it’s been such a long time since he’s had to really woo anyone. How the hell did he manage to do this all those years ago? Scratching the back of his head, he broke the silence between the two of you.

“They’re your favorites, right? I happened to see ‘em and thought you’d be happy.”

Although Chilchuck felt like he was doing a piss poor job at this, you felt like you were swooning all over again. You know how much he used actions as a love language, yet could you even call it that in this situation? Friends did nice things for each other, yet…

His brows were furrowed in determination, the tips of his ears rosy and suddenly you felt like maybe there was something there. Your gaze fell to the buds in your hands, freshly picked and done so with care. The smile that made its way on your features was unabashed.

“Yes, yes they’re my favorites… I can’t believe you remembered that. Let me go get something to put them in. Thank you so much, Chil.”

It was worth it just to see you smile like that. Even if he felt a little ridiculous at the action, it paid off when you held the vase proudly in your hands. “I’m going to put them on my desk. I love them…” You spoke softly, your own cheeks turning that shade of pink he loved so much. For a few moments, it became silent again, his brain scrambling for what to say next.

“You asked me about my plans after our adventure was over. There… was something I wasn’t honest about. And I want to be honest about it now.”

Chilchuck made sure to correctly word everything he needed to say. Taking time in between his sentences, his gaze returned to yours. There was something there that you had only hoped you’d seen in the past; a taste of desire.

“I want to be there for you. I know we’re no longer coworkers, so…” The words fell silent, you remaining patient through his pauses. Softly, you gave a gentle phrase of reassurance. “You’re already there for me, I know that, Chil—”

Raising a hand, he silenced you. Contemplation took over his features, that worry line between his brows that you always found endearing still making an appearance. You waited for him to elaborate.

“…As more than friends.”

Your heart stopped. Did you hear him correctly? Certainly you did, your voice having gotten stuck in your throat as you tried to wrap your head around the weight those words carried. Was he saying that, this whole time, you’ve been a goal all along? Hearing your name, you snapped your attention back to him.

“I want to be more honest with how I feel. I know how I used to be, and I’m working towards fixing it.” His deep brown eyes held a small glimmer of hope, of vulnerability. Chilchuck was trying, and he was trying for you.

Feeling as if the wind was knocked out of your lungs, you asked shakily, “You want…?”

He smiled, a small etch in his features. Huffing, Chilchuck fiddled with the collar of his shirt. “You’re really gonna make me spell it out for you? I… Have feelings for you. If you don’t feel the same I get it, don’t—“

Before he could finish his sentence, you hurriedly set the flowers down before just about tackling him. The shock of hearing him say exactly what you’d been wishing for so long melted into a need to relay exactly how you felt. Chilchuck grunted at the impact, nearly toppling over.

“Of course I feel the same! You think I’d put up with your grumpy ass for this long if I didn’t?” You couldn’t help the teasing words that followed, pulling away from him to grin widely at him. “Can I kiss you?”

Your excitement caught him even more off guard, eyes widening at your question. “Sorry, that was probably a bit too much—“

Instead of giving you a verbal answer, Chilchuck tugged you to his lips in a desperate attempt to get you to just shut up and do it. You happily obliged, only pulling away to ask one more question. “How long?”

Chilchuck panted, confusion evident on his features. “What?”

“How long have you felt this way?” Your curiosity was getting the better of you, wondering just how long you two had managed to dance around each other like this. Chilchuck sighed, giving the only answer he could think to say:

“Too long.”

— dividers by @/cafekitsune! <3

#⟡ lilia writes! 🌿#୨ chilchuck my beloved ୧ #OOUGHHHH IS THIS. ANYTHING.#hoping you like it!!!! as i loved writing it!!!!#worried it doesn’t flow right but….#posts it and runs #dunmeshi x reader #delicious in dungeon x reader #dungeon meshi x reader #chilchuck x reader #chilchuck tims x reader

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shiny-kaibernyte · 4 months

Note

Hihi,, another silly Drayton request,,,

Drayton x Reader who owns protective pokémon (mb a Silvally as their ace or main pkmn?)

You all never fail to impress me with these adorable ideas you all come up with! I'm so down for this one!!! I do hope you don't mind the fact I changed the Pokémon to be a Hisuin Arcanine. I am not the biggest Silvally or Type: Null fan (kinda dislike them lmao) Plus big fluffy doggy 💜💜

Pokémon Scarlett and Violet Indigo Disk DLC Spoilers ahead!

After a Pokémon somehow broke into the Academy and shut the power of to Drayton's dorm room. The pair of you bump into one another in the hall where your Arcanine is the least bit pleased about his sudden arrival.

SPOILER WARNING AHEAD (Indigo Disk)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(I got an alpha Arcanine stuck though it was perfect for this)

Inside and out | Drayton x Reader

It was all over the school blog ‘Mass power outage on the second floor dormitories! No update yet on when power will be back! Will keep posted and up to date! On other news… Kieran finally to be dethroned?’ How in Arceus did a massive power outage occur? It rang in the back of your mind throughout the afternoon, curiosity tackling you at every possible moment whenever you would be wandering the halls. Unfortunately, when you finally caved in to your kitten instincts, the hallway was taped off. That wasn’t normal, it's just a power outage right?

“No this can’t be right…?” You question looking down at your phone then up to the stairs again.

“You can say that again!” A familiar voice chimed from behind you, before you even had a chance to turn around, you felt a head on your shoulder and arms wrapping around your waist, one of your pokeballs slightly rocking inside your pocket. “Quite the predicament wouldn’t you say?”

“Hello Drayton.” Chuckling you slightly turn your head towards your new companion, his hair slightly brushing against your cheek. He simply humed in response, looking up towards the tapped off stairs when you caught his attention again. “Any idea what caused this? Strage for the stairs to be blocked when it's just a power outage…”

“Well that, my Starlight, is because it's not just a power outage! Somehow a wild pokemon managed to get into the school without literally anyone seeing it, and torched up the breaker connected to the second floor, fried the whole thing, so even a simple light switch could spark it up. I only know this because Carmine dragged me out of bed… literally. I was having a very nice dream too, until I got carpet burns and bruises from her grip. Girls got a grip, I'll say that much.” Drayton chimed, getting a little off topic as he spoke.

“As long as everyones alright… Though, where are you guys all sleeping?” The thought suddenly popped in your head. It's blocked off and most likely can’t be fixed for quite some time. Plus with the fire hazards and the pokemon most likely still roaming in someone's dorm room now, it's definitely not safe in the slightest. “Are they going to put bed rolls down in the cafeteria?”

He shrugs finally letting you go to stretch out his arms before resting them behind his head as he starts to walk down the hall, “Yeah pretty much. I may need my beauty rest, but there's no way I'm sleeping on the floor with everyone else on that floor like a bunch of rattata.”

“You of all people don’t need beauty rest Drayton.” You teased now walking by his side, the pokeball in your pocket shaking more than before.

“You are such a sweetheart you know?” Drayton chimed, a bright smile crossing his face as he put his arm around your shoulder. But before he could do anything else the pokeball of yours finally sprung into action all on its own and out pops you Hisuin Arcanine. Expression unphased, you stare at your pokemon completely unamused, Drayton on the other hand has been pushed away from you with his hands in the air and surrendered. “Ah if it isn’t my arch nemesis, wonderful to see you again Arcanine!”

A low pitched growl followed his comment as the Arcanine backed up towards you expecting pets for his deed. Gently stroking its back you sigh disapprovingly, “Arcanine, how many times do we have to go through this, you both have to share my attention.”

“I’m not gonna hog them all the time you know! As much as I really want to…” Mumbling the last part, Drayton made an attempt to approach the Arcanine only to be met by the Pokemon’s glare. Seems his mumbling didn’t go unheard. “Think i just upset it…?”

“You upset Arcanine just by breathing near me, love.” You laugh scratching the underside of Arcnin’s chin as a temporary distraction.

“True true…” Drayton nodded, placing his hands in his pockets as a light smirk crossed his face. “Though try as it may, your Arcanine can never keep me from seeing my treasure.”

The bright red blush that crossed your face immediately made Drayton laugh out loud, he adored getting reactions like this out of you. Especially if Arcanine happened to be out of his ball, as it drove the pokemon nuts. Since day one, Drayton and your Arcanine never got along, no matter how hard he tried to get on Arcanine’s good side, it just fell upon deaf ears. After all Arcanine is the most loyal pokemon a trainer can have, and Drayton is basically the exact same. You are Arcanine’s trainer, and Drayton’s beloved treasure. So the pair will never stop fighting for your full attention! Even if you tell them otherwise.

“Arcanine, leave him be, you know nothing you do will stop me from spending time with him.” You respond, the Arcanine’s unamused huff followed.

Drayton’s next mistake came the moment he let his winners smile show on his face, thinking teh Arcanine had given into you. The moment he moved, Drayton found himself watching you get pushed down the fall by the Arcanine’s nose before he even got close enough to touch you. You’d accepted this finding it too funny not to allow, Drayton however took a moment to actually process what was happening, eventually having to run after you two before he'd actually have to use his brain and find you. “HEY HEY! YOU CAN’T JUST STEAL THEM! THAT WASN’T PART OF OUR DEAL YOU FLUFFY HORDER!”

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pink-onyx-au · 8 months

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[Jump to the Episode Master List]

Nap time! Thank you everyone for your continued support and interaction! I adore it and it adds so much more to the AU than you could know. This is a heads up on some minor down-time for the blog while I rest up and prepare the next episode.

Notes and asks are still open and encouraged during this time! Bored and want to chat? Send me a message!

To see some WIP, storyboard previews, doodles, shitposts, and other projects I’m working on, along with a healthy amount of 3am memes, head over to my trash fire blog, Ceephor’s Shit Show. The "pink onyx au" tag will filter everything for you, along with showing you fabulous fan art made by others that I just love to pieces.

Speculation and theories are encouraged! The comic is designed as close to the show’s logic as I could muster, which means many secrets are staring right at you, provided you know what to look for! Just be kind to one another.

Comic FAQ:

What is this? Pink Onyx AU is a Steven Universe AU focused on interactions between Steven and Jasper and is intended to be read after you have finished Steven Universe Future, as it contains many many spoilers for the series. If you have watched it already, great! Welcome! The goal is to bring you a Jasper redemption arc that we couldn’t get due to time and cooperate restraints on the Crewniverse. I hope you enjoy!

I do not own these characters or their likenesses except for the single fluffy thembo fusion I created for the story. This is just a fan comic.

Comic is PG-13 for some angsty themes, minor blood, violence, and gem-cussing.

When do you post? Typically when you see this post pinned, I’m on a bit of a break, but when Nyx wakes up (this post goes away) the comic is due to be released 1 page at a time at 7am EST most days. I try for a daily release. Sometimes I skip a day if I’m behind. Episode release dates are always announced ahead of time by a few weeks.

Is this a romantic ship AU between Jasper and Steven? Nope, more like an aunt and her nephew trying to figure it all out. No romance between these two here.

Is your Tapas updated at the same time? Nope, tumblr comes first, and the tumblr will always have bonus content which Tapas will not. The Tapas for this updates after the tumblr version is completed. Usually same day or within a day.

Curious about the characters? Check below the cut for more a detailed FAQ about the inner workings of the story. Love you all! See you soon! 🧡💕❤️

FAQ’s about the characters generated via interactive asks:

What kind of fusion is Pink Onyx? Are they good or bad? Pink Onyx is a fusion of a protagonist and an antagonist, so their alliance is yet unknown, but they have Steven’s good heart and Jasper’s loyal nature. They also have Steven and Jasper’s flaws, so they can be volatile and emotionally explosive at times, too.

What are Pink Onyx’s pronouns? Onyx likes they/them, but also answers to he/him and she/her, especially when Steven or Jasper is dominant over one another. They also seem to take on a fluid role and prefer a she/her when in a caretaker status. They dislike it/its.

What does Pink Onyx sound like? Personally, I hear them as a youthful, masculine tone. Like Steven if a little older. But I also enjoy when people say they hear them as a gruff, Amazonian-type feminine. I enjoy and endorse both.

Do Jasper and Steven enjoy being fused to one another? For now, it is a struggle, but they enjoy what the other brings to the fusion even if they won’t say it.

Does Pink Onyx need to eat and do human things? If so, do they enjoy it? They don’t need to do them, but they do feel the discomfort without them. Things like breathing, eating, and sleeping are optional for Onyx, but they will become quite irritable if not allowed to do them. They greatly enjoy sleeping and trying new foods.

What does Jasper think about having human organs when fused? She’s pretty grossed out by the idea of organic matter going into her mouth and coming out of other places. The heart beating and lungs breathing she can feel for the first time, and it is highly strange for her to experience.

What is Pink Onyx’s favorite food? They adore anything watermelon flavored and Cookie-cat ice cream products

Does Pink Onyx have any special fusion powers? They do, and as they learn about themselves, more powers seem to come out. Each of their base component appears to be enhanced in a unique way. They have Pink Diamond at their core, so the destructive potential is also there.

Why is Steven hiding Pink Onyx from others? This AU occurs directly after the events of "I Am My Monster", so Steven is very emotionally, and mentally, raw. He fears judgement for running back to Jasper, who in the past, was part of so much trauma he already endured.

Pink Onyx seems to know nothing about human culture and gem culture despite being a fusion. What’s going on? Jasper and Steven agreed to fuse, but they have yet to open up to one another about much else. The fusion exists because they agree to do so, but Jasper won’t open up about her emotions, and Steven is so sensitive yet that he is not sharing because he knows Jasper won’t want to hear it. This causes Onyx to be unable to access both of their memories easily, but they can bring it out with enough effort.

#pink onyx au #steven universe au #steven universe #steven universe future #c423art #ceephorart #pink onyx #fusion #jasper #steven #Nyx nap #faq

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staytheword · 1 year

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a kiss at midnight

a kiss at midnight — one shot [ general masterlist ]

this series (and this blog) are 18+ !! minors, please do not interact!!

• changbin x female reader; felix, jisung and hyujin are also featured. (felix and jisung are sunshine twins and mc's cousins)

• non idol au, strangers to lovers. new years themed! a basic plot, just an excuse for some changbin smut. :) a lot of drinking, explicit language, explicit smut.

• smut warnings (spoilers ahead) — dom!changbin, sub!mc, slight degrading, use of pet names (slut, baby), handjob, cockwarming, oral sex, deepthroating, throat fucking, unprotected sex, public sex, agrexophilia.

• word count: 8.5k

Your cousins, Felix and Jisung, organized a big party for New Year's Eve. There, you meet someone new, and the attraction is instantaneous. You planned on drinking, eating, and dancing all night — it now looks like you'll be flirting, too.

• author’s note: I wanted to post this yesterday, but... there was a power outage and I couldn't :( I guess it's still relevant today, though, right? There is not much plot in this, I'm sorry! It was just for fun, to laugh, to enjoy some Bin. I hope you will like it ♡ Happy New Year everyone!!

The automated voice of your GPS announces you’ve reached your destination. You step on the breaks and frown at the screen of your phone, attached to the dashboard. No, this can’t be it. You’re at a cul de sac. There is no house here. No other cars. Just trees and snow and an empty road. This can’t be your destination.

“Fuck’s sake, fuck me,” you hiss between your teeth.

You try to enter the address you’ve been given away, but it gives no new results. Apparently you are there. Did Jisung give you the wrong address? You wouldn’t put it past him. You sigh deeply, rubbing your temples. What are you supposed to do now? The roads are a little icy, it’s getting dark, and you have no desire to drive around in the middle of nowhere trying to find this mysterious house.

You take your phone from the holder and call your cousin. After a few rings, a familiar voice answers - it’s not Jisung, but Felix. Nothing out of the ordinary.

“Hey, where are you?”

“In the middle of fucking nowhere!” you cry out. “Are you sure Ji gave me the right address?”

“Didn’t he tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“The GPS will only take you so far. He didn’t say anything about turning right and following the side road?”

You sigh deeply, pushing two fingers against your upper nose. In your ear, Felix lets out a chuckle.

“I guess he didn’t,” he says. “Ok, listen.”

He gives you a few more directions, which you try your best to remember, and you tell him you’ll be there in a few minutes - and if you’re not, that he calls you back because you’ve probably gotten lost in the woods.

You put down your phone and accelerate slowly, making your way through the woods. The side road is mostly clear of snow, luckily, and when you spot a lighted house in between the trees, you sigh in relief. A few cars are parked there, and you can hear faint music coming from inside.

Once you’re parked, you grab your bags from the trunk and make your way to the front door. The place is bigger than you imagined, looking modern and expensive. It’s apparently the home of a friend of Felix’s who is away on vacation for the winter and agreed that Lix hosted his party there. The whole thing had been Jisung’s idea, who wanted to make this New Year particularly memorable after a difficult year. He wanted all his friends in one place, and of course Felix had to make it dramatic and host a party of more than twenty people in a house that isn’t even his.

Jisung and Felix, your cousins, are also twins. You grew up together. Your mother raised you on her own, had to work a lot, and so she ended up entrusting her sister to watch over you. This resulted in you spending way too much time with your cousins, the incarnations of chaos.

A few seconds after you knock the door opens on Jisung, and he opens his arms wide for a hug but instead you gently slap the back of his head.

“Oi, what the hell?!” he whines.

“Forgot to tell me about the side road,” you say, still pulling him into an affectionate hug.

“Oh, right… Sorry about that,” he chuckles.

“I nearly got lost in the woods,” you cry out dramatically. “I could’ve frozen to death. I could’ve been eaten by a bear.”

As Jisung continues to apologize, you keep doubling down on the worst possible scenarios that could have happened. It’s certainly one aspect of your character that developed by hanging out with Jisung and Felix - a flair for the dramatic.

A few people have already arrived for the party. Some of them you know, some you don’t - Jisung makes sure to introduce you and tells you where to put your bags. The house is big, but not that big, and all of you will have to share the different rooms with a few others. You don’t mind, it’s just for one night, and you’ve had enough sleepovers with your cousins to be comfortable sleeping in the same room as them. That’s if all of you even make it to the rooms - you can already bet people will be falling asleep all over the house in the early hours of the morning.

You meet Felix in the kitchen, giving him a tight hug, admiring the blue highlights he’s had made in his dark hair, and start to help him get some food ready.

On the speakers is a dynamic playlist, and you hum to the music, cutting pieces of smoked salmon to make rolls. Felix dances with you, his booming laugh filling your chest with warmth.

A few more guests come in, a few passing in the kitchen, which you welcome with broad grins. As you are putting colorful cupcakes on a platter, the door opens and a familiar voice reaches your ears. You’d recognize that shrill laugh anywhere. You glare at Felix, who is carefully avoiding your gaze.

“You invited Daki?!” you hiss, squinting your eyes.

Felix pinches his lips, trying to hold off laughter. “She invited herself, you know how she is. Besides she’s also our cousin, it would’ve been awkward to say no.”

“She’s not my cousin. You’re just too nice,” you groan. “I’m not going to be.”

“Don’t be petty.”

“Felix, she’s been mad at me ever since Hyunjin chose me to be a part of his team for that board game. And we were eight years old. I’m not petty, she is.”

You exchange a knowing look, Felix letting out a sigh.

“Speaking of Hyunjin, is he coming?” you ask.

“Yes, but later,” Felix tells you. “After he gets off work.”

“Fashionably late, as always.”

Hyunjin was your cousin’s neighbor when you were young, and he ended up spending a lot of time with you. So did Daki, for that matter. She was Jisung and Felix’s cousin from their father’s side, and your nemesis since that fateful board game many years ago. She had a crush on Hyunjin at the time - well, she still does - and when he had chosen you to be his partner instead of hers, she had looked at you like it was your fault. You still remember her telling you, some time later, that you did it to steal him away from her.

You had laughed because you had never been interested in Hyunjin that way, and somehow that made it worse. Ever since, everytime you met, Daki made it her job to provoke you, flirting with your boyfriends, making sure to eliminate you from games, that kind of thing. At first you fought back, but you had gotten tired. At this point, you just found it ridiculous.

When she comes into the kitchen to put the drinks she brought in the fridge, she is closely followed by Jisung who is already giggling. When he sees your face he bursts out laughing, running away as you slowly turn the knife in your hands.

“Hi Daki!” you say, giving her your fakest smile.

She gives you a similar one. “Y/N, it’s been so long!”

Fortunately she does not acknowledge you more than that and you turn away, grimacing, leaving Felix to take care of her. Instead you chase your other cousin down to give him another slap behind the head, and you steal his beer for good measure. You’re not going to let this ruin your evening.

Jisung throws an arm around your shoulder, his grin taking half of his face. You sit down on the stairs, sipping his beer, looking around, while Jisung answers a message on his phone. People are spread around the room - a few are chatting around the fireplace, others are already busy playing a card game. On the couch next to the fireplace, a bit further away, is a gorgeous looking girl with long chestnut hair, Yuna, who your cousin has a crush on, talking with a guy with wide shoulders. You don’t know either of them, but you find yourself staring at the guy in question.

Dark hair, almost black, unevenly brushes his forehead. Glistening eyes of deep brown, plump lips in the shape of a heart that are slightly pouted. He wears silver jewelry, a simple chain around his neck, two small hoops on his ear, a bracelet that moves as he explains something. On his shoulders, a fitted beige sweater that hints at an impressively muscled chest, tucked at the waist in a pair of black pants. You eye him up and down, all the way to his elegant leather shoes.

His sleeves are rolled up a little, his smirk leans on the left side of his face, and from where you sit you can hear the hints of a rough, loud voice.

You slap Jisung’s shoulder, getting his attention.

“Who is that?” you ask him, nodding towards the stranger.

Jisung follows your gaze. “Oh, you haven’t met Changbin?”

Changbin. That’s his name. It suits him.

You glare at Jisung. “No, but I want to.”

Your cousin lets out an amused laugh. “We work together. He’s the one that came up with the concept I told you about?”

“Really?” you say, unable to hide the interest in your voice.

“Keep your panties on, please. But don’t worry, your favorite cousin will introduce you. It’ll give me an excuse to flirt with Yuna.”

You roll your eyes at the “favorite cousin” appellation - he and Felix have been at it since you were old enough to understand the concept - but give him a thankful nod. You follow Jisung, who taps Changbin’s shoulder when you get close enough. Both him and Yuna look up.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Jisung says cheerfully. “Bin, I wanted to introduce you to Y/N, my cousin.”

Changbin glances at you with a smile, turning on the couch to get a better look at you. You wave at him with your most charming smile. It wouldn’t be much of a party if you didn’t get to flirt a little, right?

“Oh, the infamous cousin,” Changbin chuckles. “I actually heard a lot about you. But then again, Ji talks a lot.”

You laugh, ignoring Jisung’s complaints beside you. “It’s nice to meet you. I actually heard about you, too. I love that city lights concept you came up with.”

Changbin’s face lights up, and you feel your heart flutter a little. You can’t help it - he’s incredibly charming, his smile even more. Jisung clears his throat next to you as you stare at Changbin, and him at you.

“Hey, Yuna, want to get a drink?”

The latter chuckles, nodding at Jisung. “Let’s go.”

They walk away, and you point to the spot on the couch next to Changbin. “Can I sit down?”

“Please,” he says.

You sit, unable to stop looking at him. Of course Jisung would not have mentioned how hot his colleague was to you, but he is exactly your type and your cousin knows that. He’ll have to get another slap behind the head for that.

“So you grew up with Ji, huh?” Changbin asks, leaning back on the couch.

You nod. “Yup, him and Felix. My mom worked a lot, so my aunt watched over me.”

“That must’ve been… exhausting,” Changbin chuckles.

“I’m not that much better than them, to be honest,” you laugh. “Sometimes I might even be worse.”

Amusement flashes in Changbin’s eyes. “I’m sensing good stories here.”

You smile, unabashedly flirting. “You want one?”

“Please.”

So you tell him about the time the three built a fort when you were about ten and you had designated yourself main architect. You had made them build the whole thing, and then had pretended to throw a fit and destroyed everything. You played the same game two more times until you were “satisfied,” leaving your cousins frustrated and exhausted.

Changbin listens attentively to you throughout, laughing, and you quickly grow fond of the sound. It’s playful, makes you laugh even more, and you get so immersed in your conversation you almost forget about the rest of the party.

You notice a little scar on his chin. A beauty mark on his right ear.

You talk for a while, sitting close to each other, when Felix appears from the kitchen and asks for your help. You apologize to Changbin, who tells you to go.

“We’ll talk later,” he tells you with a wink.

When you head to the kitchen, your legs feel a little wobbly. You’ve been smiling so much your cheeks hurt a little.

You help Felix bring the food to the big table, which is set like a buffet. When you catch a glance of Changbin staring at you, you almost drop all the plates in your hands, because he is looking up and down at your body almost hungrily. If you were the type to blush, you would be scarlet right now.

But you’re not. Instead, you have to refrain yourself from just walking over to him, dragging him over to the nearest room and making out until you can’t breathe. Your thoughts derail as you walk back to the kitchen.

It’s been forever since you’ve felt such an instant attraction with someone. It has happened before, with one of your exes, a colleague at work. But like this? You aren’t sure but it might have never been this strong. All you want is to look back at him. See that lust in his eyes again. Know everything about him. You feel like you could run away to the other side of the world in this instant, take the biggest risks, a leap into the unknown, and he’d be holding your hand, laughing with you.

What if you did drag him to a private spot? What would he say? Would he kiss you back, slide his fingers under your blouse? You would feel his muscles against your hands, bite into his full lips, push him inside you…

“You all right, cuz?”

You look at Felix, who is frowning.

“You looked really out of it just now,” he says.

You bite your lip. “I’m fine, don’t worry,” you answer, although you can’t stay impassive.

Felix’s mouth breaks into a grin.

“What were you thinking about, huh?” he giggles. “Or rather, who were you thinking about?”

You nudge him, smirking to yourself.

“Leave my dirty thoughts alone,” you tell him.

He gasps. “So there IS someone… Tell me, tell me, please.”

“No way,” you laugh. “If I tell you, next time you talk to him you won’t be able to stop giggling. I love you, Lix, but you’re the worst at keeping secrets.”

He pouts, gathering forks to put on the table.

“If you tell me your secret, I’ll tell you mine.”

“What?!” you say. “You have a secret?”

“I do.”

“What is it?”

“Only if you tell me who you were thinking of.”

You squint your eyes, trying to decide if your cousin is making all of this up just to get the name out of you. It just isn’t Felix’s style, but you never know. As you’re trying to make up your mind, Jisung appears, sliding in the space between you.

“What are we whispering about?”

“Y/N was just going to tell me who she’s daydreaming fucking the brains out of,” Felix says with a sleazy smile.

“Oh, Changbin?” Jisung says.

You give him a furious look as Felix bursts out laughing. “JI, FUCK’S SAKE…”

“Oops,” Jisung chuckles, putting a hand over his mouth.

You slap his arm repeatedly, pouting. “Now I’ll never know Felix’s secret.”

“What secret? That he hooked up with theatre guy?”

“JISUNG,” Felix yells.

It’s your turn to laugh hysterically, shaking your head. Eventually the three of you are snickering like you’re twelve again and looking up porn on the internet - you just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

“Never mind what I said, Lix,” you say, wiping tears from your eyes. “Ji is definitely the worst at keeping secrets.”

You’re eating too much, you’re drinking too much, you’re laughing too much - but is there such a thing as too much when it comes to those? It’s what parties are all about to you, anyway.

Another thing you’re doing too much is flirting. You’ve always enjoyed it and clearly, so does Changbin, because like other things, you indulge in it a little too much.

There’s really no other way to say it - Changbin and you have been eyefucking each other since you met. Sitting beside one another, or being on opposite sides of the room, it seems like your eyes have constantly drawn to the other’s. At one point you thought he would be the one to take your hand and drag you away from the crowd, but neither of you have made a move yet. There has been some hand brushing, a few suggestive looks, even a seductive eyebrow raise or two. You gather that both of you are enjoying the tension that is rising, the what if that is surely turning into a when, waiting for the right opportunity.

That has made an already wonderful evening even better. The food is delicious, the booze is plentiful, and Daki has barely bothered you so far, too busy glancing at the door, clearly waiting for Hyunjin to show up. She’s made you a few snarky comments but you can’t be bothered by them when Changbin stretches his arms, flexing his biceps a little, his shirt embracing his pectoral muscles. You’d rather focus on that.

Music is playing loudly, people are getting decidedly drunk, midnight is approaching, and you agree to play a game of poker with your cousins, Yuna, Changbin and a few others. Daki joins you seconds before the game starts, sitting next to Changbin. You can guess she’s noticed you and him flirting, and that she will try and get his attention to annoy you. Too predictable, Daki. She’s probably bored because Hyunjin isn’t here yet and she can’t annoy him.

You are right, of course. You haven’t been playing for two minutes and she’s already whispering things in Changbin’s ear. However, the latter isn’t responding to her at all - he even shoots her annoyed glances, which makes you snicker. You try to focus on your own game, but it’s too entertaining to see Changbin repeatedly shooting down her attempts to flirt. When she giggles hysterically, leaning against him, Changbin directly takes her hand and puts it away from him, giving her a look that clearly says leave me alone.

You bite your lip so hard it almost bleeds, trying not to burst out laughing. You’re not petty, but this is almost better than sex.

As you end the first round, Daki finally seems to give up on Changbin. You hope she will just go away, but of course she stays for another round and changes her target - you.

When you make a raise, she laughs mockingly.

“I think Y/N has good cards, guys,” she says. “Look at her face, it’s just so obvious.”

You ignore her, keeping a straight face, but of course that only makes her laugh harder, and she points at you.

“Aw, look, she’s trying to bluff. That’s cute, Y/N, really.”

You keep ignoring her - her words aren’t getting to you. You notice that Changbin, however, is getting angry. He scrunches his nose, tilting his head to the side, as if he’s trying to stop himself from telling her to shut up. You try to smile at him to reassure him, but he’s too busy damning her to hell with his eyes.

As if he wasn’t already so damn attractive.

Daki continues taunting you, inciting the others to ruin your game, but except for those who don’t know you, none of them are having it. The atmosphere is tense. You will thank them later - for the moment, you focus on playing, because you have a plan and it is working perfectly.

It ends up between you and Daki, of course, as you planned. You stare at her as she reveals her cards. A flush.

“Not bad,” you say.

“I’m so good at poker, Y/N, don’t worry!” she laughs.

“Yeah, like, I don’t know,” you say, putting on a fake confused expression as you put down your cards. “Isn’t this better?”

Everyone looks at your cards. You have a flush, too - except it’s a straight one. The tension evaporates as the table erupts in screams and applause, and you finally break into a grin. Felix and Jisung jump on you, making you fall backwards, while Yuna gets a bottle of whisky to pour a few shots. You just get a glimpse at Daki’s defeated face, not giving her your attention. Instead you focus on Changbin’s shining eyes and amused smirk.

You raise your shot glass to him.

Hyunjin arrives not long after, holding the hand of his new girlfriend. She has red hair and the most beautiful smile. As you hug your old friend, you take a look at Daki, who looks like she’s just been slapped. Karma’s a bitch, huh?

You can’t help but snicker. That might be a little petty, but you’ve been drinking and you don’t care. Daki’s hurt your feelings more times than you can count in the past, and you feel like her having a shitty evening barely grazes the idea of payback. Unluckily, she catches you laughing and heads towards you, fists clenched, eyes full of rage.

“What are you laughing at, you fucking bitch?” she spits at you.

You raise your hands. “Woah, calm down, will you?”

“You think I’m pathetic?” she chuckles mockingly. “Have you seen yourself acting like a fucking slut all night? You think that guy’s going to be interested in you? You’re just a skank and everybody knows -”

“What the fuck’s your problem?”

You and Daki turn your heads towards Changbin, who has appeared next to you. His jaw is clenched, and he’s looking down at Daki with disgust.

Daki scoffs. “This is none of your -”

“Leave her alone,” Changbin interrupts in a dry voice.

“I’m not going to -”

“Fuck off.”

His voice is so commanding that Daki pales a little. She straightens her back, shoots you a last malicious look and walks away. You breathe out, shaking your head.

“Fuck,” you sigh. “I thought she was going to hit me for a second there.”

Changbin shakes his head, giving Daki a dirty look.

“You guys have history or something?”

“Yeah,” you sigh. “A long one.”

He gives you a nod, sensing you do not want to talk about it too much. Instead you smile at him, sliding a hand through your hair.

“Thanks for the intervention. I appreciate it. I’m too drunk to be the bigger person, so it would have ended badly.”

He smirks, leaning towards you. You get a whiff of his cologne and it makes you a little dizzy. Fuck, he smells good.

“I have an idea,” he breathes in your ear.

You frown, giving him a questioning look. He raises an eyebrow.

“On how you can pay me back.”

The words send your thoughts reeling. Oh, fuck. Is he finally going to do it? Take your hand and lead you to an empty room to ruin you? You hope so. You so desperately hope so.

Are you a little too horny?

“Yeah?” you ask, your voice a little weak.

“Follow me.”

He takes your hand and guides you through the room. Your heart is pounding, your eyes fixed on the back of his neck. Is this happening? It’s going too fast and not nearly fast enough. Your mouth is dry, your legs weak, and -

Changbin goes to the kitchen. You frown when he stops at the counter, looking at the numerous bottles of strong alcohol that are stored there, carefully choosing one. You’re confused - but clearly, you misread his intentions.

He shows you the bottle of tequila rose, and you chuckle.

“You want me to take a shot?” you suggest.

He grins. “Jisung came to work one morning with the worst hangover I’d ever seen. Said it was the fault of homemade shots with tequila rose in them. Made by you. I don’t know why, it stuck in my head, and I’d like to try one.”

“Oh,” you laugh. “You mean the Hot Lips.”

You don’t miss Changbin glancing at your mouth, looking perfectly satisfied with the turn of events. “Is that what they are called?”

“It is,” you answer, taking the bottle from his hands. “Give me that. You’re not ready for this. Your liver will hate you tomorrow.”

“Can’t wait.”

You get busy gathering the ingredients while Changbin gets the shot glasses, and you talk about that infamous night with your cousins. You, Felix and Jisung had gotten so ridiculously drunk on your shots you had gone outside in the freezing winter to build a snowman at three in the morning wearing no shoes. You were horribly sick for nearly a week after that.

Changbin stays close to you as you pour the right ounces of the ingredients. Tequila rose. Grenadine. Soda. A little vodka. A little whisky. And a little surprise of your own.

“Just a little bit of lemon to soften the sweetness,” you whisper to Changbin, giving him a wink. “Don’t tell anyone.”

He’s standing so close to you you can feel his breathing in your hair.

“I wouldn’t dare.”

You turn to face him, keeping your eyes in his. You hand him his shot, filled to the brim, and take yours.

“See you on the other side,” you tell him.

You cheer and take the shot. The taste is almost overwhelming in your throat, and you let out a sharp woo. Glancing at Changbin, you realize he’s closed his eyes. He shakes his head and groans.

“Damn, fuck, that is strong,” he laughs.

You bite your lip, trying not to laugh too much, but his eyes are glimmering with mischief. He puts down the shot glass, licking his lips slowly. His eyes find yours again, and he takes another step towards you. You’re just drunk enough for your inhibitions to have disappeared. Changbin smells good. Changbin looks good.

“Delicious, though,” he states, staring at you intently. “Just the right amount of sweet. Just the right amount of rough.”

You swallow, mouth parted. You’re not even sure what he is talking about, at this point.

“I can see why it’s addictive,” he smirks. “Can I have another?”

“As many as you want, baby.”

The nickname escapes your lips but he doesn’t seem to mind it. On the contrary, his smirk deepens and you feel the warmth pooling between your legs. You must already be soaked at this point. Fuck, there’s no one in the room. What if I sucked his dick in the kitchen? Would he like that?

You chuckle to yourself, and Changbin looks at you questioningly.

“I was just thinking about sucking your dick,” you say.

Changbin remains silent, and you realize that you’ve actually said this. Out loud.

You gasp, your eyes wide. You stammer. “Holy fuck, I’m sorry. Shit, I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that, it just -”

“Why don’t you?” he interrupts, his voice low and husky, placing his fingers underneath your chin to lift your head. You meet his gaze, dark and lustful. “I wouldn’t mind you sucking my dick right now. I bet you’d look even more sweet with your mouth full.”

You gulp, feeling your walls clench at the sound of his words. Fuck, you need this man to ruin you right now. You’re dizzy with arousal, and he gently takes your hand, guides it on his crotch. He places your palm around his hardening cock, and you can’t hold back a whimper.

“You’re not going to leave me with this unattended, are you, baby?”

Instinctively, your hand squeezes his cock, and you smile.

“I wouldn’t dare.”

Outside the kitchen you hear people bursting into laughter. The risk of someone walking in is so dangerously high it makes you dizzy, but you’re a little too drunk to care. And honestly, it makes the whole situation even better.

Keeping your eyes in his, you unzip his pants, taking out his cock. It’s decidedly hard now, which makes you very happy. You kneel on the cold floor, looking up at Changbin. Slowly, keeping your eyes in his, you lick the length of his cock, smearing your saliva on it so you can lazily stroke it. He pushes the hair out of your face, biting his lower lip.

“You look fucking good like that, Y/N,” he growls. “I fucking love that dress, by the way. Made me want to snuggle my dick between your tits all night.”

You chuckle, kissing the tip of his cock. “Who knows, if you’re nice to me, your dream might come true.”

“Nice?” he laughs. “I’m not sure I know how to do nice. But I can certainly fuck your brains out.”

“Sounds nice enough to me.”

You guide his cock in your mouth, slowly taking it as deep as you can. Changbin breathes out, holding your hair. You start to bob your head up and down his length, swirling your tongue at the same time.

“Good, that’s good,” he whispers. “Fucking good.”

Encouraged by his praise, you accelerate your movements, and Changbin thrusts his hips sharply. Surprised, you gag a little, taking a deep breath.

“Hm,” he chuckles. “Let’s try it again, huh? I know you can do better.”

It’s like he knows exactly what to tell you - you can do better, and you want to prove it to him. So you take him in your mouth again, taking your hand off his base, and make sure you almost reach his pelvis. Changbin breathes a guttural growl, pushing your head against the kitchen island, trapping you there.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, yes.”

He fucks your mouth and you feel your eyes tear up, but you adore the sounds he makes, the way his face scrunches as he throbs in your mouth. When he pulls back after a few seconds to let you breathe, you give him a broad smile.

“This is so fucking hot,” you chuckle.

Changbin smiles, grazing your cheek with his thumb. “You like this, Y/N?” You like the way he says your name, like he’s still learning it, tasting it on his tongue. “Well, maybe you are a slut, huh?”

“For you, definitely,” you tell him.

“That’s the attitude,” he grins. “Keep sucking, my little slut.”

You go back to it. As you moan around his length, the kitchen door opens, and Changbin quickly pulls himself out of your mouth. Luckily, from where you are behind the kitchen island, you are not visible from the entrance of the kitchen, and the island is high enough to prevent the person from seeing what is exactly happening.

“Oh, Changbin,” the person says, and you realize it’s Felix.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Have you seen Y/N?” your cousin asks, his voice slurry. “It’s going to be midnight soon, and we always celebrate together, and…”

He rambles on, clearly drunker than you. That might help prevent him from suspecting anything, you tell yourself. Still, you bite your lip hard, trying not to move or breathe too loud.

“I haven’t, sorry,” Changbin says. “Just fixing myself a drink. Maybe she went to get some air outside?”

Felix gasps. “Oh, right. Good idea.”

For a second you think Felix might have gone, but Changbin remains immobile, and when you look up he’s giving your cousin a broad smile.

“You need help with something?” Felix offers.

“Nope,” Changbin quickly replies. “All good.”

“Cool,” Felix says. “I’ll check outside, thanks, Changbin.”

You see him wave, and the kitchen door closes behind your cousin. You breathe out, and you look at each other for a second before starting to laugh.

“Fuck, that would’ve been awkward,” you say.

“He’s so drunk I bet he wouldn’t have noticed,” Changbin replies, stroking your hair. “You still good to go?”

You smile. “Fuck, yeah.”

“Oh, you like that, don’t you? The risk of being walked on. I can see it in your eyes.”

You don’t deny it - instead, you take his cock and slap it against your tongue. Changbin throws his head backwards and guides himself back in your mouth. It fits back easily, and you secure your hands on his thighs.

“How does my cock fit in your mouth so well?” he breathes. “My good little slut.”

You let him fuck your mouth, feeling his thrusts getting a little more restless, and from the way he grips your hair, you know he is close.

“I’m gonna come,” he grunts. “Look at me, Y/N.”

When your eyes flutter up to meet his, Changbin lets out a shaky breath. You hold his penetrative gaze as he buck his hips and empties himself in your mouth. He manages not to make too much noise, clenching his jaw, and when he relaxes, you take his cock in your hands and proceed to lick him clean. You trace his length, lick your lips, and he twitches a little, coming down from his orgasm.

“Did my little slut swallow everything?” he asks hoarsely.

You nod, showing him your tongue. He chuckles, putting his cock back in his pants. You look at his face, smiling, and he brings you up to your feet.

“Let’s fix you up.”

He proceeds to put your hair back in order, taking a napkin to wipe the corners of your mouth and the mascara that dripped down your cheeks a little. Meanwhile you just take the opportunity to look at him. When he’s done, he eyes you up and down, and you pout.

“What about me?”

“What about you, sweet thing?”

“I want to come in your mouth, too.”

Changbin smiles, and you take his hand to guide it under your dress. You open his palm so he cups your soaked underwear. The contact already makes you moan, and you roll your hips against his hand.

“I’m so fucking wet, Changbin…”

He parts his mouth at the same time the kitchen door opens again. You twirl around, Changbin’s hand escaping the throbbing space between your legs. It’s Felix again.

“I didn’t find her, so I -”

Your cousin stops, staring at you, blinking, visibly confused.

“I found her,” Changbin smiles.

You grin at your cousin, who finally breaks into a smile and walks up to you, oblivious, rambling about the fact that it’s almost midnight and you almost missed it. You can feel it - you’ve been lucky not to get caught during the blowjob, and you can’t push it. Your drenched, aching cunt will have to wait.

“THREE, TWO, ONE… HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

As per tradition, you, Felix and Jisung grab each other’s shoulders and start to turn in a circle. It’s something you’ve created when you were kids. You call it your manifesting circle, invoking good energy for the rest of the year. It’s bullshit, but you couldn’t see yourself not doing it every New Year’s.

Felix smooches you on the cheek, Jisung runs away to find Yuna, and you feel someone tapping your shoulder. You turn to find Changbin standing behind you, a smirk on his lips. He takes your chin in his hand and guides your head upwards, kissing you deeply. Felix yells happily in your ear, but you barely hear him, drunk on the booze, drunk on Changbin’s tongue playing with yours. You wrap your arms around his neck, making out with him for what seems like hours, until you’re out of breath, until you can barely stand straight.

When you look at him afterwards, his eyes are shining, and his smile steals your heart.

“Happy New Year,” he whispers.

The only thing reminding you that what happened with Changbin is real is that your mouth and throat feel a little sore - but other than that, you might have thought it was some kind of vivid, waking dream.

You want to keep talking to him, but Felix really wants to dance with you and you can never say no to him, so Changbin just decides to do it with the two of you. You giggle excitedly as he rolls his hips seductively, and you and Felix show him a choreography that you created when you were kids. Changbin laughs so hard he holds his sides.

When the three of you get too tired, Felix joins a board game and Changbin sits down on the couch next to you, his arm around your shoulder, not caring in the slightest at what people might say. You snuggle against him as you talk to Hyunjin, who wanted to talk to you about Daki. She has gone home, apparently. You feel bad for her, but not really. It never brings any good to be mean with no reason, Hyunjin tells you.

You and Changbin keep close to each other, exchanging knowing smiles. His hand is resting on your thigh, and your head is leaning on his shoulder. You’re a little impatient for more, but it’s also thrilling. You want to kiss him. You want to know how his tongue feels against yours. How he would use his lips on your pussy. How his cock would feel inside you. You want to hear him groan again.

Although he’s softer outside of sex, you’re not surprised by his dominating personality, and you find yourself craving it. It’s not always a kink of yours, but with the right person, it can reduce you to a trembling mess, which is exactly what you want to become in Changbin’s arms. There’s just something about him.

So you slowly and discreetly pull on your dress so it falls higher on your thighs. Changbin’s eyes drop on them, and he slides his hand higher. You repeat the same game two more times, stopping before it gets downright inappropriate. Eventually you can’t focus on anything else, so you stand up and say you’re going to the bathroom.

You’re hoping Changbin gets the hint. You don’t care much anymore - everyone is either too drunk or busy to notice, and you’ve seen people disappearing for a while inside rooms. Why not you? It’s the new year, open to all opportunities, and you’re not going to waste this one.

You walk up the stairs, glancing back at Changbin who is staring at you, biting his lip. You just smile back, and you walk very slowly upstairs. You’re almost there when you hear footsteps behind you, and you barely have time to twirl on your feet that Changbin grabs your wrist and pulls you inside the bathroom. He slams you against the door, his eyes drilling into yours.

“I think you might be having an issue with your dress,” he smiles.

“Do I?” you ask innocently. “Maybe you should help me with it.”

He chuckles, spinning you around. Your palms rest against the door, your ass facing him. Changbin hikes up your dress slowly, revealing your panties. He groans and slaps your ass, kneading the skin.

“My little slut,” he breathes. “Already can’t get enough of me, huh?”

“I can’t focus on anything,” you admit with a chuckle. “I need you, Changbin, please…”

You breathe heavily as he brushes a finger against the fabric of your panties, over your clit and your entrance. You are soaked.

“Fuck, please touch me…”

He slaps your ass again, drawing a sharp breath from your mouth.

“You want to show me your pretty pussy?” he breathes in your ear.

“Yes.”

“You want my fingers or my tongue?”

“T-tongue.”

He chuckles, taking a step back, and you glance above your shoulder to see him kneel behind you. He grins at you, pulling down your panties.

“Arch that cute ass for me, will you?”

You do, and he hums appreciatively, spreading your legs to get better access. He starts by coating your pussy with his fingers, licking your juices off them, and then his tongue flicks you.

“Fuck,” you moan, twitching a little.

“You taste so good, baby,” he sighs. “I’m going to make you come so hard your legs won’t be able to hold you up.”

You breathe out, aching for more of his touch, and fortunately Changbin obliges. His mouth comes to rest against your throbbing cunt, and he starts to eat you out hungrily. His tongue swirls against you, presses against your clit, teases your entrance. Changbin holds your thighs apart, massaging your skin, and as you whimper and pant against his caresses, his thumb circles your folds.

“Don’t fucking stop,” you cry out, feeling your orgasm building quickly.

He doesn’t, only smiles against your pussy, and it’s the best feeling in the world. He kisses you, rolling his tongue on your wetness, and you only wish you could see him there, buried between your legs, his mouth and chin coated in you.

You push your fingers against the door, biting your lip as your orgasm suddenly flashes through you. A cry escapes your mouth, your entire body shaking against Changbin who does not stop and even accelerates, guiding you through. When your muscles untense, you feel your legs give in, but Changbin quickly sits up to hold you up by the waist, pulling you to him with a chuckle.

“What did I say, huh?”

He groans in your ear, and you feel his hard cock against your ass.

“I need to fuck that tight little cunt of yours. Just like it is now. Still throbbing, all drenched and ready for me.”

“Do it, Changbin,” you nod, still hazy from your orgasm. “P-please.”

He quickly undoes his belt and frees his cock, and brushes it against your still sensitive folds. You moan, Changbin breathing hard against your neck.

“Ready, baby?”

You nod, and he enters you slowly, leaving you time to adjust to him. He feels big and thick, but you’re so wet he slides in easily, not stopping until he is deep inside of you. Once he’s there, you both breathe out, chuckling in delight.

“That’s where my cock belongs,” Changbin growls. “You good?”

“Fuck, yes,” you sigh.

You roll your ass against him, and Changbin takes it as an invitation to start moving. He draws his hips away from you only to thrust sharply, fucking you hard. Soon he’s pounding into you, and you’re moaning, and he’s holding your waist and burying himself inside of you like he’s going mad.

Neither of you are going to last long, you can feel it. The teasing has been enough, and deep down you know this won’t be your last time fucking.

“I want to fucking come inside of you,” he breathes. “Will you let me, little slut? Take my cum deep, keep it in you?”

“Yes,” you breathe. “Give it to me. Fuck, I’m gonna come again.”

He’s rubbing against the right spots and you’re rolling your eyes in your head. As your second orgasm flashes through you, you clench around Changbin and he lets out a low groan. You feel his cock twitch and then spurt inside of you, warm and heavy.

He fucks you until you both ride out your orgasms, breathing heavily, his body laying against yours. Once your breathing steadies, Changbin removes himself from inside of you, and you feel his cum, mixed with your own, sliding down your inner thigh.

You fall into his arms, letting out a long, shaky sigh.

“Fuck… That was so good,” you breathe with a laugh. “You are so good at this, what the fuck?”

“Right back at you,” he chuckles, pushing your hair away from your face before giving you a long kiss. “Let’s clean you up. We still have a party to attend.”

Felix is trying to explain a board game to you. He’s the worst at it. You really should just read the instruction manual, but you like hearing his voice, so you let him do it. Eventually, though, he just gives up. It’s way too late and you’re both too drunk to play such a complicated game, anyway. Instead Felix relaxes on the couch, and you lean against him.

You talk about food, about family, about work - and then Felix catches you looking over at Changbin, who is clearly winning a game of beer pong not too far.

“So, Changbin?” he asks, grinning. “Anything happened between you?”

You smirk, and Felix breaks into giggles.

“Tell me, tell me,” he begs.

“A lady doesn’t tell,” you reply, poking his chest.

Felix scoffs. “You, a lady? Please. I’m more of a lady than you.”

“True,” you laugh. “Well… Yeah, something might’ve happened.”

“Oh, that smile,” he says. “You really like him, huh?”

You nod.

Felix wiggles his eyebrows. “Why not go spend more time with him?”

“Maybe later,” you smile. “For now I like spending time with my favorite cousin.”

“Tssssk,” Felix chuckles. “I don’t believe you. You say that, but I know you tell Ji the same.”

“Well Ji is clearly busy somewhere else, so it’s you I get to annoy.”

You start to tickle him, and Felix gets distracted into another conversation topic, and you lose track of time, soothed by the sound of your cousin breathing, the music, the conversation around you.

It feels like seconds later when you open your eyes, realizing you’ve been dozing off on Felix’s shoulder. Your cousin is deep asleep next to you, cuddling the plush mushroom he got from the gift exchange. He’s not the only one - a lot of people have gone to their rooms, the music is softer, and the place is a reassuring mess, with plates and glasses and pieces of wrapping paper everywhere.

Near the fireplace, Hyunjin is stroking his girlfriend’s hair, lovingly whispering things in her ear. You stand up on shaky legs, looking around for Changbin. He’s sitting in a corner with another guy, playing a quiet game of cards. You catch his gaze, and he smirks, waving at you to come. You drag your feet towards him, settling down on his leg. You nestle your head in the crook of his neck, and Changbin chuckles.

You’re good there. You doze off a little again, and open your eyes when you hear Changbin’s friend say he’s going to sleep. You expect him to get up and walk upstairs, but instead he draws his hoodie on his head, leans against the wall and closes his eyes. You giggle, turning your face towards Changbin.

“You want to go to bed?” he whispers.

“Hm,” you nod.

“Let’s go.”

He takes your hand gently and you follow him upstairs. The first room is locked, another is already packed. The last one you find has two other people in it, so you head back downstairs and decide to nestle in an unoccupied corner of the living room. Changbin finds two blankets, laying one down on the floor, and another on your bodies. You snuggle against him, his arm enveloping you. You feel his breath in your neck.

The living room is silent. All you can hear is the hushed whispers of Hyunjin and his girlfriend - but even those stop after a few minutes. The fire is nearly extinguished, the living room plunged in darkness. You feel warm and safe in Changbin’s arms - but you can’t bring yourself to sleep. All you can think about is how nice his body feels, how wet you are - and how you feel his cock hardening against your ass.

“What are you thinking about?” you whisper.

He lets out a breath. “Are you still wet?”

His low voice in your ear makes you shiver. You nod.

“Good,” he answers.

His hand slips on your waist, feeling the fabric of your dress. You breathe out, closing your eyes to enjoy the sensation. His fingers go further up, cupping your breasts, teasing your nipples. You arch your back, pushing your ass against his crotch. Changbin starts to breathe heavily in your neck, sending strands of your hair dancing.

You don’t even care that you’re in the middle of a room filled with people. You just want to feel him. Besides, nobody is paying attention to you. The room is dark, and you’re protected by the blanket.

Changbin’s hand pushes up your dress, removes your panties. When his fingers finally find your still soaked cunt, you softly whimper.

“Fuck, you’re so warm,” Changbin breathes. “Can you be a good girl and be silent, baby?”

You nod again.

“Just don’t stop touching me,” you tell him.

He smiles against the back of your neck, planting a kiss there. You open your legs a little, facilitating his access. Changbin takes two fingers and pushes them on your swollen clit, tracing wide circles, exerting just the right amount of pressure. You shudder, biting your lip to keep from moaning aloud.

But you keep breathing, holding it back to enjoy Changbin’s caresses. His fingers relieve the ache of your folds, and then he teases your entrance. When he plunges into you, caressing your inner walls, you have to grab his sweater behind you, anything to keep yourself from moaning his name. He starts to finger you, relentlessly. It feels so fucking good.

“Is that good, Y/N? Do you love my fingers deep inside your cunt?”

“Yes, Changbin, fuck…”

“I can’t wait to replace them with my cock.”

You clench around his fingers, and he must feel it, because he chuckles.

“Do you want that, huh? Do you want me to fuck you in the middle of a crowded room?”

“I want you to fuck me, Changbin, please… Fuck, I’m gonna come -”

He removes his fingers in a sweep, leaving you gasping. Changbin pushes a hand against your mouth, muffling the sound.

“Can’t have you waking everyone up, baby,” he whispers in your ear.

You feel him pull down his pants, the tip of his cock brushing your cunt, and you breathe against his fingers. He holds them there, pushing himself inside of you, stretching you. He feels big, he feels good, already familiar - and you fall back against his body. His chest feels firm, his arms big and strong. Although there’s not much space for maneuver under the blanket, Changbin still manages to buck his hips, filling you deep. His thrusts are slow and powerful, making your body shake, and the rest of the world becomes a blur.

“Shhhh,” he breathes in your ear. “Do you want them to know I’m fucking you?”

You can’t help but whimper a little against his palm as he fucks you deeper, slamming his hips into you, and then you’re coming, writhing in his arms. Changbin growls in your ear, fucking you even faster, and then you feel him come inside of you. You are still trembling, slowly coming down your high, and Changbin removes his hand.

He sighs, and you let out a chuckle, turning to face him.

“Do you think anybody noticed?” you whisper, and he smiles.

“I don’t really care.”

You smile back, rubbing your nose on his jaw, his neck. Your eyes are heavy, and you feel yourself drifting off.

“Y/N?” he asks in your ear.

“Hm?”

“Will you go on a date with me next week?”

You open your eyes just enough to see him look at you. You kiss him, gently, and put your hand against his chest.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

• permanent taglist: @ughbehavior ; @upallnight-s ; @changbinluvr ; @rosexjimin ; @nasiaisan ; @lotus-dly ; @cb97percent ; @j-0ne25 ; @hwan-g ; @jhopesucker ; @tanyas97 ; @raspbinniecreme ; @septicrebel ; @imtoooyoungforthisshit ; @sikebishes ; @sai-kida134 ; @sstarryoong ❤️ (let me know if you want to be added/removed)

#changbin x reader #changbin x you #changbin x y/n #changbin smut #seo changbin x y/n #seo changbin x you #seo changbin x reader #seo changbin smut #skz smut #skz x reader #skz x you #skz x y/n #stray kids smut #stray kids x you #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader

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dreamweaversfavsandthoughs · 7 months

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Rick and Morty Season 7 Episode 1 Favs and Thoughts

(and maybe a small rant)

Rick and Morty season 7 has officially begun and this is the first time on this blog I plan on sharing some of my favs (and maybe some not favs) and my thoughts about each episode.

This will NOT be spoiler-free so turn back now if you haven’t watched the episode yet. If you have watched the episode or don’t care if you run across spoilers then please proceed.

My Favs:

The new voice actors!

Ian Cardoni and Harry Belden as Rick and Morty, respectively. I thought the actors did an amazing job at capturing the characters, even though we didn’t hear much from Belden this episode. I was looking them up on IMDB and some of their previous work included being an announcer for Wrestlemania, acting in a really crappy looking Disney Channel Christmas movie, and one of the better gigs, playing a bit part on Joe Pera Talks With You. And now they’re the stars of Rick and Morty. Talk about a big break.

Morty’ s snarky coffee comment and Rick’s sarcasm.

Morty is becoming more like his grandfather every season because that comment feels like something Rick would say. Also, I feel that in such a small scene the banter between Rick and Morty seems a bit richer with two different actors playing off each other as opposed to just having Roiland do the two voices. Hopefully we get some bigger scenes to really get a chance to hear them together.

BirdDaughter!

Ok. To be honest, I’m a little bummed that she was rescued off screen but I’m not going to let that ruin my enjoyment of the season. So she is home and she is an absolute teenage terror! BP took a dive into the deep end of the parenting pool with that one. Others have made this comment as well but I love her punk rock aesthetic that she’s got going on, ahold over from her days at Femme Fatale Training Camp. I hope Morty never meets her because I think he would be SMITTEN for approximately 10 seconds until she kicked his ass to another dimension (or she might be just as smitten by him and in that case I don’t think the multiverse could handle that relationship).

Ghost Robot

I thought it was really clever joke overall especially when Rick interrupts the download for “Business” so it’s unfinished. Get it huh huh get it. Hope he shows up later in the season.

The gangs all back!

I enjoyed the absolute silliness of Rick’s pitiful attempt at an intervention that turns into a drug and alcohol fueled bender that turns into an attempt to woo Amy back, a fight with Mr. PBH’s ex-wife’s new paramour ( who is a Predator hired to spy on her) and then coming to the realization that Amy has moved on and her and Poopy Jr. are in a much happier place, and because of that, Mr. PBH (or Wayne) can find closure in that and move on too.

The fade out pills and the Best Friend Burrito Box

I was giggling throughout the episode but I did love the fade out pill gag and Rick fading back in to explain the pill and give one to Mr. PBH then fading back out again. Also, I was so sad for Gene to get his Best Friend Burrito Box taken away! He wasn’t lying! He did have friends they just faded out without him.

My Not Favs:

Hugh Jackman.

I love the actor and this by no means pulled me out of the episode or ruined my enjoyment but I think the episode would have been stronger without him. Or, at least, have him actually secretly been a real wolverine. Not the superhero, Wolverine, but a wolverine that disguised himself as a human.

My Thoughts

(and my rant):

I think online discourse around film, television, and media has destroyed the ability to enjoy something that is just meant to be simple and silly and fun. If an episode of a season is not “mind-blowing” or “moves the narrative forward” it is immediately the worse thing ever. Was this the best episode of Rick and Morty? No. Was it the worse? No. Was it mind-blowing? No, but most Rick and Morty episodes aren’t and I realize I just said something sacrilegious. Was it deeply philosophical? Again no, but most Rick and Morty episodes aren’t. Again I’m being blasphemous in some circles of the fandom. Was it funny? I thought so but your mileage may vary.

Overall, I found it on the same level of episodes like the one were Morty impregnates a sex bot, 2nd interdimensional cable, Tiny Rick, or the dinosaur episode from last season. So I was really surprised at such a strong negative reaction to an episode that I thought was perfectly fine. I feel that the reaction was completely unwarranted and out of proportion with the episode we got. I’ll caveat it with most of the negative reaction being on Reddit ( which I realize is Reddit and Reddit will do what it will do). A vast majority of critic reviews I read were pretty positive and so has the discourse on Tumblr for the most part. I’m sure some of it is coming from Justin dickriders pissed he face actually consequences for his actions, but not all of it.

I felt the new episode would have fit very comfortably in with season 6 ( which I felt was a great season). Maybe it wasn’t to the level as other premiers but I had fun watching it. I love me a deep lore episode or a mind-bending sci-fi, but I also appreciate an episode that suppose to just be fun and silly and relaxed with a little bit of heart. I enjoy seeing Rick try to help his friend out of a rut and I’m glad there is some closure on Mr. PBH’s arc. And it was good to see the friends reunite. Squanchy’s alive, Birdperson is navigating fatherhood and we got to see a side of Rick we don’t see a lot. And if it’s any consolation to those who absolutely hated the episode, next week’s episode is supposedly a lot stronger.

I think it’s okay to criticize an episode but I did see one Redditor complain that he thought (and I feel comfortable assuming this person was a he) that Rick and Morty was now turning into…a sitcom. I swear I felt my soul leave my body. I wanted to say :

Honey, Dear, Sweetheart

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’VE BEEN WATCHING FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS!

I’m not actually mad I just thought that was hilarious and wanted to share that.

#rick and morty #rick and morty season 7 #rick and morty spoilers #rick sanchez #morty smith #summer smith #jerry smith #beth smith #mr. poopybutthole #birdperson #gearhead

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atlaese · 2 years

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summary: you’re quite cool and somehow Steve never found an opportunity to ask you out. then his car broke down and he grabbed his chance.

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader tw: just pure fluff :), no s4 spoilers, just two kids falling in love <3 (reader is also over 18, same age as nancy), inacurate car talk (yeah i know the basics but uhhh, don’t ask me for car check ups lmao), asking someone out. words: 2.1K.

a/n: i have been obsessed with the man ever since season 1, so i just had to write something to celebrate this new season! i hope you enjoy! <3

p.s. dividers by @firefly-graphics p.p.s. i now have a library blog! go follow @aeristhotle and turn on notifs to get notified when i update!

reblogs and comments are highly appreciated ✨💗

Steve knew you to be the quiet kid in the year below him.

You weren’t in any after school clubs or activities and you barely attended the pep rallies or other events like prom. You weren’t an outcast either. You were just one of those kids stuck in between the jocks and the nerds, the band kids and the theatre kids. Everyone knew you, yet no one really knew you.

What Steve did know, was that you had a cool ass car.

In the mornings, you showed up just in time for your classes, the rumble of the car’s engine coming to a low hum as the pop music continued playing, the strums of guitars flowing through the open windows. You only got out of the car after the song was over. After school, you either drove a friend home or you speeded off to work at your dad’s auto shop.

That car was your baby. It was the only one in the school car park that always had a fresh coat of wax, never a scratch to be found on the smooth burgundy paintwork and never had problems turning on, in comparison to some of the beat-up cars that people drove to school with. Steve supposed caring for your car was in your DNA, a hand-me-down from your father, the town mechanic known for his ability to fix any problem.

Maybe there should be a separate category for you in the classification of kids at school: the quiet kid with the dope car and great music taste.

Steve knew he had become quite smitten with you once he saw all the cassettes in a box on the passenger seat when he walked by, a bit bored when waiting for Dustin to get out of school. They ranged from local indie bands to bigger names like Joy Division. It wasn’t the music that made him look out for you though, it was the seatbelt that you had wrapped around the box, safekeeping it in case you ever got into an accident. It was that little instance that made Steve fall hopelessly in love.

Steve had wanted to ask you out for prom, or just a normal date really, but his busy life (slaying Demogorgon’s and Mindflayers) combined with your absence in after school activities made that quite impossible. You never even showed up in Starcourt Mall for ice cream at Scoops Ahoy!, though it was the only place where you could get decent ice cream. Then the whole mall thing happened and well, apparently you weren’t someone who lent movies on the regular either.

Now, he was working in the video store and you were finishing your senior year, and he still hadn’t found an opportunity to ask you out. Even Robin had slapped him on the back of his head, urging him to finally do something before you left the state for college, instead of sulking in the video store and creating fictional scenarios that would never happen.

An opportunity arose when the little check engine light came up on his dashboard, the yellowish sign usually a bad omen - however, this time it felt like a little sign of hope.

Usually, he’d try to figure out what the problem was by himself, often cursing at the oil that seemed to stain every piece of clothing he owned to eventually give up and drive to the shop at the edge of the town, but this time around he drove over to your father’s shop in hopes of seeing you.

The shop was as busy as ever, with three repair men sliding under the hoods of cars, while your dad was operating the hydraulic press to lift an expensive sports car in the air.

Steve guessed you’d be in the back filing paperwork, but to his surprise, you popped up from behind a cabinet with tools in greasy overalls, a machine in your hands he’d never seen before.

Your dad called your name and pointed to Steve, “help him out will ya, he looks like a classmate of yours.”

You gave your dad a thumbs up and delivered the machine to one of the repairmen before going over to Steve.

“Sorry, my dad thinks anyone around my age is in my class,” you said apologetically, wiping your grease-stained palms on the overalls. “But you were at Hawkins High?”

Steve nodded, “graduated last year, yeah.”

His head was still spinning a bit from your sudden appearance, and he felt all the suave he once possessed slowly leave his body, like the air from a tire that quietly deflated. Aside from Nancy, that had never happened before.

“You work at Family Video now, right?” you asked, seemingly not noticing his awkward behaviour as he scraped his throat and nodded vehemently.

“Yeah, yeah, how’d you know? I’ve never seen you at the store before.”

Steve quickly looked down at his feet, embarrassed that he just openly admitted to keeping tabs on you. “Well, I would’ve noticed you.”

A smile pulled on the edges of your lips as you noticed his flirtatious correction.

“You wouldn’t have,” you corrected him. “People don’t quite notice me except when I’m working here or when they desperately need a ride home.”

Steve wanted to interject and say that you were someone people paid attention to, or at least that he paid attention to you, but you had already walked over to pop the hood of his car.

“So the check engine light, huh,” you mumbled as you pulled into the driver’s side and checked the dashboard, before pulling on the latch that released the hood. “Should be easy.”

As you fully opened the hood, Steve came to stand next to you, his massive amount of hair creating a shadow of its own under the fluorescent lights in the workshop.

“I didn’t know you repaired cars, I thought you would do paperwork or something,” Steve said, “though it does explain your car’s mint condition.”

You momentarily stopped checking the condition of the engine to peer at his face out of the corners of your eyes. “I am kinda obsessed with keeping it clean, guess it runs in the family. How did you know though?”

“I first noticed you last year, I think you had forgotten something in your car, a notebook I guess, and then later I saw you had this incredible cassette collection which you had carefully put on the passenger’s seat with the seatbelt on,” Steve said, recounting the events that happened a year ago. “Yeah, ever since then you’ve been on my radar.”

“On your radar? Since last year?”

Steve had been thinking about you since last year, and you had no clue why. There were so many other girls that would be a better fit next to him, so many others that did have the right connections and were invited to every party. Others that were into cheerleading or into track & field, not a girl who liked to work on cars in her spare time and had grease stains on any piece of visible skin.

“Yeah, been wanting to ask you out, but I guess life came in between,” he said, scratching the back of his neck as a slight blush crept up his cheeks. These demogorgons and their ability to derail his life. When would the most difficult thing in his life be asking out a pretty girl again?

“You? Asking me out?”

Your answers were short; your brain was shortcircuiting at the possibility of Steve Harrington pining after you for a year, rambling his ass off in front of you because yes, he was nervous.

You looked back down at the engine, deep in thought as you tried to process everything. Rubbing your forehead in thought, you were oblivious to the grease that now stuck to your face.

The once king of Hawkins high turned part-time babysitter stood here, on the verge of asking you out and you were wearing greasy overalls that desperately needed a wash. What kind of backwards or upside-down world were you living in all of a sudden?

As Steve was looking at the engine as well, anxiously fumbling with his fingers, he was sure you’d either reject him or just laugh at him. Maybe fighting all these interdimensional beasts had given him too big of an ego. Maybe this was the moment where his inflated ego finally got the punch it needed, though he did wonder if he hadn’t endured enough these last few years.

Suddenly, you saw what was wrong.

“It’s a spark plug,” you pointed at it. “It’s broken.”

“A what?” Steve asked, completely forgotten why he was even here in the first place. Right, his stupid car. Not only would he walk off without a date with you, it probably would cost him his weekly salary at the video store.

“I can easily replace it,” you replied, ignoring his statement as you pulled a rolling table with equipment closer to you. “It’s nothing, really.”

Steve watched you quickly replace the spark plug, his eyes looking at the quick and confident movements of your hands in the engine. It only took a few minutes before you led the hood close with a loud bang, waking him up from his anxious daydreams.

“Here,” you held out the broken piece of equipment, a simple smile on your face. “I’d love to go out with you, Steve.”

Steve mindlessly accepted the broken spark plug, his thoughts making a 180. Did the sun all of a sudden make an appearance in the workshop or was it just him imagining the sunrays that appeared behind you all of a sudden? It seemed like he couldn’t contain his joy now that he finally had a positive answer. Robin would finally stop pestering him, too.

“We can do dinner and a movie if you want,” he proposed, a safe option he knew most people liked. “Or anything else really, you decide.”

“I’ve been dying to go to the drive-in movies if you don’t mind,” you said, rubbing your once again dirty hands on your overalls. “They’re playing a new one tomorrow night if you’re free?”

Steve nodded, his lips pulled in a smile as he played with the spark plug in his hands. 5 different demodogs could try and attack him right now and he’d win without a doubt.

“You have a little smear of grease,” he said, tapping your forehead lightly with his finger. “Don’t think they’ll let you in if you look like that.”

“I don’t think they’ll see if I’m in the car, dummy,” you shook your head, both out of embarrassment and to get rid of the feeling of his skin on yours.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow,” Steve asked, his hand now in his pocket as the other fiddled with the spark plug. “Or you could pick me up too, although it seems that your cassettes get to shotgun.”

A giggle bubbled up as you watched the man in front of you, a timid smile plastered on his face.

“The cassettes are shotgunning, so you can pick me up. Seven works for you?”

“I’ll be here,” he tipped his head. “But, what do I do with this now?”

He held out the spark plug again, unsure what to do with the little broken device now that it was replaced.

You stepped up to him and closed his fist around it with your own fingers, careful to not smear any grease on him. “Keepsakes. Bet you could tell a great story about it to those little friends of yours.”

Your hand enclosed his softly, and Steve looked down at your face which was so close all of a sudden. He didn’t know if he could breathe again, your eyes mesmerising him.

“Dustin is a curious little shit, you’re right,” Steve said, now pocketing the spark plug and completely ignoring the black that would inevitably stain his clothes once more. Oh well, he couldn’t care less at the moment. Every time he’d see the black smear, he’d be reminded of the small grease stain on your forehead from this moment and it would always bring a fond smile to his face, wherever he was.

“The spark plug is on me, by the way,” you said as you stepped back, looking at another mechanic that seemed to need your help. “Just bring some snacks!”

Steve waved in acknowledgement and stepped back in his car, the check engine light back to its previous state. Somehow, even in his daydreams, this moment was more perfect than any he ever thought of.

When he arrived at the video store for his shift, Robin immediately commented on the lovesick smile on his face.

“You finally asked her out? Tell me everything!”

After telling Robin everything while restocking the movie cassettes on the shelves, they devised a plan together on which snacks he had to bring, what music he had to bring with him for the drive over and if he had to bring a blanket (to share with you) or bring you a jacket of his.

This date would be the best one he had ever prepared.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader fluff #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington stranger things #steve harrington fic #stranger things fic #stranger things #joe keery #ariwrites

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ataleofcrowns · 1 year

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Chapter Progress [JAN/01]

First progress report of the year!! Hope everyone experiences a great 2023 in all areas of your life and that it'll be much kinder to us than 2022 was ✨

It’s been a while since I posted a proper update on the blog since my writing pace has been erratic in the winter, but I’ve finally made enough progress to feel good about where I’m at with the chapter. We’re up to 27k words now, and I’m guessing the total word count for CH10 will end up being around ~40k words or so.

This chapter more than any other is making me consider how many variations I want to write out, which subplots can be momentarily set aside, and which ones need to be set up now rather than later.

The LI subplots currently take definite precedence, even though they're a relatively smaller part of the chapter in comparison to everything else. I won’t give any spoilers, but some hints:

X is spiraling a little bit, making bad decisions, running away from their problems/solving them with violence. Extremely well-adjusted.

R is having an identity crisis of immense proportions after being hit with a revelation with the figurative force of an airplane crashing into a mountain.

A is seeing both their greatest hope and worst fear coming true without having any idea of how to stop it, the despair of powerlessness, etc.

D is trying to have an intervention with an old friend and instead is getting their heart shattered, and unfortunately therapy doesn’t exist in Arsur.

Please pray for all of them.

Anyway, to give you an idea of the chapter structure, the Crown's training and tutoring classes averages around 7k words, the political section of the chapter is 11k words, and the remaining 9k is taken up by the LI POVs so far.

Final Draft Deadline

I've decided to pick out a deadline that I need to stick to in order to finish this thing before uni gets busy again: I'm intending to have the final draft for CH10 finished by February 1st!

Even if I can't make this exact date and am a few days late, it'll still give the betas enough time to proof read in order for all the early access Patreon/Ko-Fi releases to be in February. So if you’re aiming for early access, I’d plan it for February!

To make up for some of the radio silence on the blog with regard to updates, I'll be posting various CH10 previews throughout the coming week that patrons have already had access to.

No spoilers, but here’s some very juicy ones in the mix 👀

As always, thanks so much for your patience and understanding, and stay tuned for more news and previews very soon 💖

#progress report

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doctorwhoblog · 5 months

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Greetings dear Whovians,

Perhaps, it’s time to explain what’s going on with this blog, why it was abandoned and what lies ahead.

Doctor Who as a show ended for me with Peter Capaldi. Period. I tried to give a chance to Jodie Whittaker’s doctor, but even her first episode was a struggle: I could not see the Doctor in her, there was absolutely no chemistry with companions and I couldn’t care less of what’s going on on a screen.

At that point I made a tough decision that I should say goodbye to my favourite show, otherwise it would be ruined and I would grow to hate something that was seared onto my heart.

Looking back and reading comments how the writing went downhill - this perhaps was the best decision as I still have any good memories about the show (even though Capaldi deserved a better writing, especially in his last season).

All these years I avoided spoilers (and Tumblr) and I have no clue what have actually happened in the series - only the fact that it was horrible and they re-wrote things that shouldn’t be touched.

With the news of RTD coming back I was very hesitant to start watching again considering the gap of 3 seasons which I have no intention to close and catch up. But all the trailers looked very intruiging with a definite vibe of ‘good old days’, so I decided to give it a try.

To be completely open with you - not sure how I feel about The Star Beast episode. Despite amazing chemistry between David and Catherine (who didn’t age a day!), excellent references to previous story lines and heartwarming moments, I feel like all this woke agenda was a bit too much and maybe even unnecessary. This is not kind of show when you need to push on a viewer and write a plot twist around it. Don't get me wrong, but overall it looked like a very poor writing just to squeeze to the episode and not the important message.

Speaking of continuity of doctowhoblog.

I started this blog over 12 years ago when I was still at University, then I started my job and things got complicated. I reached the point when I had a very little free time on my hands and wanted to spend it wisely. Tumblr became a time consuming blackhole with no reward in return, so at some point the weight of value of my time overcome the need to be here.

Would I make gifs again? Frankly speaking I do not remember HOW anymore…turned out it’s not like riding a bicycle.

In addition, a lot of things on Tumblr as a platform changed: the last time I made gifs it was 500px with 2mb limit. Now rules have changed and I have no clue what is the standard and where to begin.

Blog Theme is broken, I know. A lot of things needs fixing, starting from post ‘blocks’, as it appears there’s now not only photo and photoset, but also panorama - what the hell is {block:Panorama} Tumblr?! Links are broken and everything is a mess.

Please bare with me, I will try to fix it if my head will not explode of all these new additions and features.

I wouldn’t jump into conclusion that I am back (yet), but there’s some hope that I would appear on this website from time to time (would the show not go downhill again and continue be promising).

#and apologies for many many letters #i hope you all are doing great #happy return of doctor who

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nilusanimationworld · 1 year

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So....the KFP4 plot huh? WHEW! I really needed DAYS to process all this & uh...I think I’m finally ready to talk about it?

Also before I start saying anything please note that I may share few more EXTRA details. Where did I get the details? Welllll? I may have cheated & decided to spoil myself a bit to get more stuff out. Although I promise I’m not gonna share any images & go deep to spoil movie. To be honest I myself only managed to get like only 5% extra details. Also reason I had to spoil myself to dig this deep by talking with the person who got this stuff personally from CinemaCon is that I’ve seen a lot posts saying most of you all have GIVEN UP on the franchise after the plot news was out. Granted some of the plot is not making sense. I myself had to read like 100x to process all in. But giving up on the franchise? I still can’t do that. KFP has a special place in my heart. I’m not saying I’m here to rescue by giving you guys hope. Instead I’d highly suggest you all to keep the expectations low....LIKE REAL LOW! The higher we’re setting the bar the more disappointing results we’re gonna get. Some things so far I found does give us a little hope of light & some are well....meh?

ALSO PLEASE NOTE IF YOU DONT WANT TO GET SPOILED I’D HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM REDDIT & TWITTER FOR A WHILE! ESPECIALLY DO NOT USE THE KUNG FU PANDA 4 HASHTAG ON TWITTER

|| SPOILERS UNDER CUT ||

So first let’s just start with the villain herself. The Chameleon. Turns Kate Mckinnon is voicing the villain & her design so far is actually not bad? So far it actually looks good. Only way I could describe her looks is that she’s giving me a bit Shen mixed with bit of Viper vibes. Elegance is the only word I can describe her. Since its only a storyboard image sadly. Its not even a concept art image.

As for her abilities/powers! Ooooh I hate Dreamworks here for baiting us saying this Chameleon can ‘summon’ the old villains. I know they’re doing this for keeping this a surprise or something idk but whatever the CinemaCon fans saw are completely different from the whole summoning idea. Apparently turns out she IS THE ONE HERSELF who can turn into TAI LUNG, SHEN & KAI. SHE’S A SHAPESHIFTER! Which is no surprise since she is a Chameleon & they’re known for changing colors. So I really don’t see the point why Dreamworks made movie news blogs & reports saying & using the word “SUMMON” which is completely different from “Shapeshifting”? Another thing this is gonna disappoint a lot of Tia Lung, Shen & Kai fans because i’ve seen a lot over excited fans who are waiting for a rematch Especially a Po vs Tai Lung. I’m so sorry guys but these guys are not coming back. They originals are dead DEAD!

She’s also gonna shift into one of Po’s biggest challenger yet too. I’m not mentioning this one this is worth saving it for the movie or the trailer. I hope they save this surprise of the MOVIE ONLY

So far for me the villain actually does sound & look promising. Whoever came up with Chameleon shapeshifting idea is actually pretty darn smart. My only concern is that she doesn’t become one of jokester type villains since its Kate Mckinnon who’s voicing. So yeah...that’s the villain info

Now for the fox character Chen?Zhen?Zhan?Chan? LMAO y’all have no idea how many different spellings I had to come across to get this character info! The funny part is people are even changing the fox’s gender in some articles which is really weird because its Awkwafina who is gonna voice her. So far we only know that she’s gonna be shown as a thief first? And later as Po’s student? Her design? No idea. For now.

Judging by Awkwafina’s past animated characters like Sisu & Ms Tarantula I’m assuming the character might be some playful, sneaky, childish, cunning type of a fox character since the fox is gonna be introduced first as thief? idk this is just my thoughts? Bonus if she turns out to be some annoying teenager or young adult who would try to get on Po’s nerves during their adventure.Kinda to give Po taste of his own medicine & realize how difficult it is for Shifu & Tigress who has to deal with Po’s shenanigans.

Also I won’t be surprised if the Fox too has some very similar backstory like Po or Tigress. I’m really getting a feeling the story is gonna be about misunderstood fox who most likely could be either an orphan or abandon by family/villagers or something

Okay so now comes the plot. We all know that Po is gonna get promoted to higher master position & he has to find new Dragon Warrior...yaddy-yaddy-yadda! Apparently their gonna show Po finding Chen/Zhen/Zhan/Chan (SOMEONE PLEASE CONFIRM WHAT’S HER REAL SPELLING!) in the museum where Po is....patrolling? (i’ll be honest this info is a little confusing because I really don’t see why Po of all people is patrolling at the museum especially since now he’s in a bigger position....like why?) So after he finds her & catches her & stuff & she tells about Chameleon & later go on this adventure (Oop! Dragon Knight plot?) to city where the Chameleon resides & here comes the typical Mike Mitchell writing. Take a wild guess what the city is gonna filled with? We had got Wolves for the Gongmen City right? Now what could be MORE DANGEROUS THAN WOLVES? Hmmmmm? Well.....

LADIES & GENTLEMEN! WE’RE GONNA GET CUTE EVIL BUNNIES! WHEW....LET. THAT. SINK. IN

This really reminds me of one episode in LoA where Po had to deal with his past bully which was also a BUNNY! Funny part of that episode was that even Tigress had hard time believing Po couldn’t fight his bully bunny enemy & constantly reminded Po how tiny the bunny is which pissed & offended Mantis off. Anyways back to the main topic.

Now I’m not gonna sugar coat this one. The plot STILL very much does sound very off & very animated series level of writing. Also the person has confirmed this movie is gonna have more of comedy BUT (here’s the hopeful part or at least I’m hoping) the thing is all this info is just like 10 or 20% of the plot. There could be chances that we could still get some emotional stuff since Dreamworks is known for hiding & saving the emotional stuff strictly only for the movie. Remember Puss In Boots? The trailer gives us more of action & the idea of the plot meanwhile the scenes like Puss feeling guilty about not attending his own wedding, the anxiety scene, Goldie’s wish scene & Perrito’s back story all this was saved for the movie. So yeah I am still keeping 5% hope we do get some heavy stuff especially if this movie really does turn out to be the FINAL CHAPTER. Who knows that those storyboards were only the main stuff just to give idea & furious five too MIGHT be there during the adventure but their all split up or something? Idk man I’m just saying.

Where is Shifu? Furious Five? Po’s dads? The Other Pandas? OKAY....uh...so far uh....sadly I’ve no freaking idea where the hell are Po’s dads or the pandas? I’m just gonna assume all the pandas have settled down in Valley of Peace & living regular lives. Po’s dads I’m assuming running the restaurant? There’s sadly no info on this one. Although I really wished his dads would’ve played important role in this one since its gonna be lot difficult for Po to take in his new position & to pass his Dragon Warrior title.

As for Shifu & the Five. We are gonna get them but we’re told they’re NOT gonna be part of the adventure or what so far the storyboards was shown at Cinema Con din’t have much of them. I am still like 3% hopeful for this one since the guy mentioned these were only the boards which were shown there could be chances the changes can be made. But if the movie really is only focusing on Po, the fox & the Chameleon than I’m assuming we might get very few cut scenes of Furious Five & Shifu. Back & forth scenes like they did in KFP3. Either that or the Furious Five are having some other separate mission & hence that’s why Po decides to go solo with the fox.

THIS IS WHY!!! THIS IS WHY WE NEED A WHOLE SEPARATE FURIOUS FIVE SPIN OFF MOVIE

Now for the big question; Why isn’t Po giving his Dragon Warrior title to any from the Furious Five? Especially to Tigress?! OH BOY! When I came across the articles saying Po is gonna have to find new Dragon Warrior replacement my mind too immediately went on Tigress! HECK! EVEN MY MOM SAID THIS! Also I had the whole KFP1 movie flashed in front of my eyes Especially the scene of Tai Lung screaming at Shifu telling him about how he filled Tai Lung's head with Dragon Warrior dreams & trained him hard till his bones cracked & Shifu & The Furious Five being sour & bitter towards Po in beginning...I understand now...I FREAKING UNDERSTAND THE PAIN THEY WERE GOING THROUGH TO PROCESS THE FACT THAT THEY ALL TRAINED THE HELL OUT OF THEMSELVES FOR THIS DAMN TITLE EVEN GOING TO EXTEND THE GET THEIR BONES CRACKED & END UP GETTING NOTHING & instead some random noodle folk panda fell from the sky with no whatsoever kung fu skills gets the title...YUP I UNDERSTAND THE RAGE NOW. AND THIS SHIT IS HAPPENING ALL OVER AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD THIS DRAGON WARRIOR TITLE IS SUCH A FREAKING CURSE!! GODDAMN OOGWAY!!

BUT...BUT...Here's the thing what we also see is that Five...ESPECIALLY TIGRESS never had that desperate goal for Dragon Warrior title in the first place. We all know at this point well aware that Tigress only wanted to get the Dragon Warrior title is because she wanted to make Shifu proud but after seeing Shifu finally being more compassionate and the older playful self again thanks to Po. Tigress doesn't hold that grudge or jealousy anymore towards Po. Which same goes for the five since they were already warming up towards Po before Shifu & Tigress.

I know most of us & myself deep down all wanted Tigress to get the title since she has gone through hell the most right from her Bao Gu days but Tigress has made it very much clear that she's moved on from the whole wanting Dragon Warrior title and she's become her own warrior

Now in Tai Lung's case. Even though Tai Lung says he did all that training to make Shifu proud but it was clear that Tai Lung was already blinded & thirsty for the Dragon Warrior power the most (Thanks to Shifu). Heck! Shifu himself admits this that his pride blinded him so badly he turned Tai Lung into a monster.

So yeah I know right now we're all disappointed that Po isn't giving his title to any of the furious five but to some random fox (who is a thief...wow..nice choice Po) but let's not forget that's how even Po's story started & we'll just have to wait & watch to see Po taking Shifu's role as master & trains this fox character.

Also I’ll make a separate post on how Chen?Zhen?Zhan?Chan? (I SERIOUSLY STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HER REAL SPELLING IS) on how she could earn the Dragon Warrior title. That’s not gonna be a spoiler post that is just gonna be an analyzing post or how I can see it happening

And lastly can we trust Mike Mitchell?...OOOOOH BOY! Judging by his past projects I would say it’s a little concerning but lets not forget even Joel Crawford had made some not so very successful projects in the past as well & years later Puss In Boots 2 became one of his best & successful projects yet. I’m not so concern of Mike my main concern is what exactly happen to Jennifer Yuh Nelson for not being part of this so sudden? I remember in interview she had mentioned if she really decided to make all 6 chapters like Jeffrey Katzenberg suggested she really wanted to make a complete beautiful necklace franchise for Po’s journey! Heck to be honest the third movie itself WAS ENOUGH AS A PERFECT END TO THE CHAPTER! It really did give us a perfect trilogy I honestly don’t know why or what made them to give us fourth. This whole retiring thing & passing on torch has been a very common plot trend in most animated/anime/comic medias lately. Anyways. Too late now. Lets see how this chapter turns out.

So....uh..yeah I guess that's it? I tried my best to keep this post with some positive stuff just to you know...lighten up? The thing is we can't say much anything right now because the movie is still in beginning/mid (storyboarding) stage. Its still too early. Changes still can happen hence we cant say much yet. Jack himself mentions that its too early for the trailer. So yeah its very common at times last moments some ideas could have changes.

Only word of advice to the pandom I'm gonna give is be a little more patient. I myself needed DAYS to process & break it down. If we have waited this long we just going to have to wait a little longer. My guess on getting the first teaser we could most likely get it in... August or September (this year)? I'm calculating according to how we got Puss In Boots trailer. The trailer was released in June & the movie was released in December.

We just gonna have to play the waiting game a little long & PRAY!! LOTS & LOTS OF PRAYERS (& INNER PEACE) THIS MOVIE DOESN'T RUIN THE FRANCHISE!! That is all for now. Feel free to share your thoughts or can private DM me!

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real-life-senshi · 7 months

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10 (Mostly) Spoiler-Free Reasons to Watch Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon 2003 Live Action

A countdown to the 20th anniversary of Act 1 air date!

Speaking of the casting of UsaMamo, let's actually talk about the live-action cast!

Reason 7: The cast!

If you become a fan of the series, despite the show approaching its 20th anniversary and sadly not being greenlit for more than one season, your joy DOES NOT end there.

The love the Senshi cast have for the show and for each other is ABSOLUTELY legendary. If one dabs into Japanese entertainment news even for just a little bit, then it's pretty impossible for them to forget this show existed because it gets brought up yearly, especially because Rei's actress Kitagawa Keiko' is 's career took flight and became insanely famous in Japan's acting industry a few years after the live-action.

Seriously, please see the following clip subbed by me and hear how Ayaka (Venus/Minako) talks about the live-action Senshi team. <3

Without further ado, please see some other examples of their lovely ongoing love for the series, the overall franchise, and each other.

Cast Reunions/Gatherings

Senshi Reunion "戦士会" A well-known term coined for the live-action 5 Senshi gathering. As Ayaka said, it includes birthday parties, Bonenkai and Shinenkai, engagement parties, and more!

My record of their gatherings dates as far back as 2006, and that's NOT counting the times when any of these ladies meet up in pairs or smaller pods and post about them on their social media and then practically. yell into the writing that they want all five of them to meet up soon. lol For a more "structured" Senshi reunion, usually they manage to get at least four of them together, if not all 5, due to work scheduling clashes.

At Keiko (Mars)'s wedding ceremony, the Senshi cast also all sang the show's insert song Friend together. :')

The girls have so much fun together, they are also known for taking blurry photos because they laugh themselves silly. (Adorable!)

PGSM 10th Anniversary Cast & Crew Celebration (2014) *Logistics of the event organization and individual's work schedule delayed them from actually celebrating in 2013 October.

2016 Super Moon Sighting (Cast & Crew Gathering)

The Senshi-exclusive reunion (2015) The gang claimed all the news of the Senshi reunion was making them jealous and feel left out, so they chose to have their own gathering without the Senshi. For a while that led to a hilarious back and forth between them and the Senshi on Twitter about making it a regular thing and maybe they'll invite a Senshi one at a time for further gatherings. lol

Here is hoping we get a 20th anniversary celebration cast and crew gathering. If the 10th anniversary celebration was anything to go by, the event might not necessarily happen right on the dot of the anniversary. Still, if not the day-of, this weekend, or this coming weekend will still be a key period for live-action fans to monitor the casts social media and blog accounts for any celebratory posts!

Supporting each other's work

The Senshi cast, Naoki (Shingo), Akira (Kunzite), and Jouji (Mamoru) show support for each other's stageplay appearances across the years.

Miyuu guest starred in Ayaka's live broadcast, and Ayaka promoted Miyuu's stageplay as part of the broadcast

Ayaka joining Miyuu on her Japanese shave ice eating and promo Youtube videos. (Twice!)

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The cast members are always excited when they get to guest star in a JDrama Keiko (Mars) is a main cast of.

Ayaka in Buzzer Beat (2009)

Miyuu and Jouji in Iie ru Onna (2016)

The Senshi cast sending flowers and showing up in person to Ayaka's own unisex apparel brand - 502EASY's popup store!

Ongoing Mentions of Their Time in PGSM Lovingly

Last but certainly not least, there is no lack of ongoing mentions and positive reminiscing of their filming experience from this cast!

Keiko (Mars) fangirling over meeting Usagi's anime voice actress!

Video here! (Tumblr keeps giving me error when embedding...)

Usagi, Mamoru and Motoki reunited in Ryusoulger

Miyuu's PGSM Viewing Party

Sawai Miyuu (Usagi/Moon) does periodic live broadcasts on her Youtube channel, and has been hosting viewing parties of her rewatching the live-action. She's done Act 1 - Act 18 already!

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Ayaka's talking about PGSM and Senshi team in multiple of her Youtube Q&A videos

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Ayaka at Brazil ANIME FRIENDS CON 2019

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Ayaka & Miyuu as Guest in Sailor Moon events

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Director Suzumura's Glasses Night Talk - Ayaka (Venus), Jouji (Mamoru), Mew (Jupiter)

Director Suzumura’s Glass Night Take.017 (Feb 26, 2022) - Komatsu Ayaka (Summarized Translation here)

Director Suzumura’s Glass Night Take.034 (July 7, 2023) - Shibue Jouji (Summarized translation to come!)

Director Suzumura’s Glass Night Take.037 (Oct 17, 2023) - Azama Mew (UPCOMING SOON!!!!)

Kitagawa Keiko spoke about her relationship with Sailor Moon franchise and the Senshi Team when promoting her voice role as Sailor Cosmos

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And you can also find multiple fan-translation of Keiko's interview articles here on my blog!

This post got really long, but it's not even near all of the mentions and references this amazing cast have made, speaking positively and endearingly of each other and the show!

You can watch the subbed versions of the series at:

Miss Dream Fansubs

Sea of Serenity Fansubs

The series is also on other online streaming sites, but be cautious to only visit them with good adware and firewall installed.

Additionally, if you ever want to receive info about the PGSM cast without being bogged down by content with fanart, fanfic posts like this blog, I recommend following @pgsm-gal!

4 days till the 20th anniversary of Act 1 air date!

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

#pgsm #pretty guardian sailor moon #bssm #bishoujo senshi sailor moon #sailor moon live action #pgsm appreciation #reasons to watch pgsm #pgsm 20th anniversary countdown #kitagawa keiko #sawai miyuu #rika izumi #komatsu ayaka #azama mew #Youtube #Director Suzumura's Glass Night Take.017 #khmyh translates #khmyh's fansub & translations

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always-together · 5 months

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Just a Little Something Up Ahead

(Aka: A very long overdue apology, where I’ve been, where I’m going, and the future of my blogs (Spoiler alert: I’m not going anywhere, but updates are needed))

Tagging everyone I remember writing with frequently on my blogs in the hopes they see this and read the whole thing: @pcrplevenom , @nxtleftbehxnd , @misfitxofxfriends , @ssatxr , @advnterccs , @opportunistic-chicanery , @trickywanderer , @twistytwine , @automaton-otto , @monmuses , @raktanag , @dragonizens , @alicerozen , @arianatheangel-girl , @saltygempearl , @castleofmxses

Please take the time to read this whole thing if you can. This has been a long time coming and I don’t want anyone to feel as if my absence has been anyone’s fault, because it absolutely has not been, under any circumstance. It’s been entirely me, and my own inability to maintain all of my blogs during college.

Hello everyone. If I’m remembering correctly, this is my first non-reblog post since last October, when I vowed to come back and respond to the Halloween threads I attempted to start and obviously, disappointingly (most especially to myself), never did. I felt very bad then and still do, because it was going to be my first time interacting with several new blogs and I just…ruined my chance to make a good first impression because all will to write Garnet completely vanished. Some of the people that I tried to start interactions with are tagged in this post, and to both you all and those I write with all the time, but especially the first-timers, I apologize deeply and hope you can forgive me for letting you all down like that.

I know there’s a million worse things to be guilty of on the internet than abandoning your rp blogs because you have no muse, but this has all been just as bad as those worse things to me. Although I’ve undoubtedly been having fun on my Spamton blog I’ve also been feeling incredibly guilty, and for leaving you all in the dark as to my thought processes and IRL reasons why I went away I once again deeply apologize. No words can properly express to every single one of you all just how sorry I am for disappearing this past year and a half. It’s been a long time coming, but now that my fall semester at college is over I feel now is a good time to explain everything and talk about where me and my blogs are going from here.

The number one thing is, of course, college. Even in my freshman year, prior to my Spamton blog, I was having trouble maintaining multiple blogs and characters at once due to work sapping all of my writing energy. Coupled with the jobs I ended up getting, especially the one I’ve had since June, trying to run five blogs at the same time proved impossible. So, foolishly, I took the easy way out and stayed put at the one I had, and still continue to have, the most muse for. I don’t regret doing so, as it made balancing everything much easier to handle, but I do regret not telling you guys somehow first and leaving you all behind like I did.

The other main thing is…hard to explain through just text with no tone indicators, so please bear with me and know that, again, me leaving most of my blogs and you guys behind was no one else’s fault but my own. Attempts to properly come back here and apologize have been stymied by me finding my prior writing style and tagging system cringy and disorganized, respectively. Of course, it was only a matter of time before I felt this way: This blog has been around since I was 17 and now I’m 20, with much more writing experience behind me and the ability to refine my tagging process over the course of my different blogs. This blog feels stuck in the past in comparison to my Spamton blog, my newest blog, in a certain way, in regards to that. Especially with the disorganized tagging. What was I thinking 🤦‍♀️

That’s not even getting into the muse pages across all of my blogs, further worsened by the fact that I’m primarily mobile and can’t edit them at a moments notice or create fancy Caards like all of my mutuals. They make me cringe more than my writing in some ways. Please do not look at my About the Mun page on this blog, I will be removing that when I can 😬

Returning here eventually became associated with regressing to how I was back in 2020 in my mind, and soon that began to spread towards how I felt about my other blogs, too. I was rigid in replies and sticking to plots, barely sent partners memes yet inwardly expected to be sent them in return, and never really IMed or communicated except through tags. I am happy to say that over the past year of silence I’ve gotten better at all of that, but you all shouldn’t have had to suffer while I figured my shit out. But nevertheless I still left, and hid away at my Spamton blog until now.

I want that to change, desperately. I miss you all. I miss Garnet. I miss all of my other muses, too. But considering I’m a junior in college now, with my capstone/thesis fast approaching, I don’t know how difficult that’s going to be. And of course, I don’t want to abandon my Spamton blog, either. Whatever I end up deciding, however, I need to update all of my information pages to reflect my current standards and make my tags more easier to navigate, like they (mostly) are at my Spamton blog.

So until I can find the time with my busy holiday work schedule to do this necessary work on all of my blogs, all activity is currently at @thebigshotman . Feel free to send in memes, random asks, and interact/IM me there, if you’d like! I’ve gotten a lot of crossover threads going lately, and much like the Haunted Mansion there is always room for one more 😊 So please, if you’re still interested in interacting with me after all of the shit I’ve done, head there for now.

I’ll be reblogging this on all of my other blogs tomorrow so as many people see this as possible, and know I didn’t forget about everyone. Changing everything looks like it’s not going to happen until after New Years, so consider coming back to everything my New Year’s resolution-except unlike many resolutions, this one is actually going to happen.

Thank you for taking the time to read all of this, if you indeed still are. Like I said, I’ve missed you all dearly, and I want to come back. But I can’t until I’ve done some very overdue updating and organization. (Everything old will stay tagged as it is, but going forward things will be easier to find.)

I’ll see you all soon. And this time, that’s a promise.

Love, Mun Bri ❤️

Relationships/friendships with Garnet and all of my other muses will remain the same unless you or I message each other agreeing otherwise

#(sophomore year also made me realize putting too much focus on my hobbies was a recipe for disaster 😵‍💫)#(so off I went and I did what I did. but I’m going to do my best to try to change all of that)#(no matter how shakey my activity ends up being ❤️)#(no tags. this is the start of the clean slate)#(I WILL COME BACK. this I promise 🤝)

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kittycat-in-the-dark · 11 months

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Jason is a character that seems to be very divisive in fandom... like he is not the only one, but oh boy is he the one that most of the times brings the extremes in people in fandom. Either people only talk about the bad he did or only look at him as a victim and try to justify/excuse every action he has taken. Of course, there are always people that can be more reasonable and properly discuss both the good and the bad Jason has done. But the extremes and their popularity never go away... And in all of this “fandom mess”, the canon department, and the fact that DC cannot seem to figure out what to do with him, isn’t helping either, especially in moving his character forward from his current status.

Anyways, i want to make a "list" of how Jay actually is like in canon. Also to point out that i am probably gonna forget something and that i am kinda gonna follow the most known stories and writing of Jason coming from post-crisis and Rebirth because they seem to be the more "concise and logical" canon Jay was right now (thou be aware that the New-52 is still canon to Rebirth)... like i know that canon selectivity is what also brings wrong and/or one-dimensional takes... but i am trying my best with this "overall look" into the character. My desire to make this post comes from some thoughts that have been on my mind about Jason, his canon and how he is perceived in the fandom for a while, and i guess that this post can be seen as a "personal liberation" of sorts. So, humour me a little...

And i suppose this post can also act as a guide to Jason's character in canon with some of my commentary. I hope it can be somehow helpful! *also, if people wanna skip my ramblings and just see some comic suggestions, the list of the comics i wrote about in this post is at the bottom of the post,, also with links to a character reading guide for Jason made by another user on Tumblr and with a link where you could read them.

Warning: i have to say that i never did this type of post so, again, sorry if i miss something and my writing is confusing. Also, aside from criticising some fanon interpretations, i will have parts where i also criticise dc's writing, because we cannot have a complete dc comics' post without criticising both sides, lmao. Also, English is not my first language so be warned of spelling errors as well. Also, because the subject matter of this post is who it is,, warning for some controversial subjects and takes! Also, that this is gonna be a very long post…

NOTE: this is obviously gonna have spoilers for a lot of Jason's comics. And because this is Jason and DC i am talking about, there are trigger warnings for death, violence, sexism, classism, racism, domestic abuse and SA mention (though i won't write about them in that much depth, but just to be aware that these are gonna be addressed in this post). Also, some of my thoughts in this can be very scattered, so sorry if something is confusing. And even if i talk about some events i am not gonna recapitulate them properly, only the important bits and/or just the characterization of Jason. This post is gonna be organized by points named after the comics era and the comic’s title, following the publication date of their first issue, so this is not gonna be 100% Jason’s chronological order in universe.

Obviously, some parts of this post might come off as my personal opinions and interpretations, thou when that is the case i usually point it out. I mean, actually most of this is my interpretation of canon (lol), thou a lot of the things i talk about are from the general interpretation that most people seem have of the comics, and includes just some specific comments on certain subjects that are more my opinion (thou i think it's pretty obvious when that is the case) and i had some parts where i linked some posts from other blogs made by other people because i think they are better at explaining and expanding those points than me, if you are curious about getting more details or a better explanation on those parts (thou i didn't put links to other posts in all of them), also, some of these posts also inspired me into making this “big Jason Todd post” and they are all credited to their respective creators at end of this post.

The purpose of this post is to put "all" (or almost all) the information on Jason's overall characterization through the current canon, so i am not gonna go into much detail on everything. Sorry for dragging this out so much but i wanna be as clear as possible!! (And to the fans that are more versed in the mess that is DC comics, feel free to correct me if it is necessary or to add to my post in reblogs. I would be very grateful if you guys did so.)

Anyways, moving on to the “list”..

Post-crisis Jason Todd

Robin Jason: i mean.. i have seen more and more people doing posts about how Jason is not so angry as Robin, or you know (even better) people discussing that "there is no angry Robin", which i appreciate so much. Like, none of the Robins have anger as a prominent characteristic, and when they are angry it is for good and personal, and just generally understanding reasons. Jason's main reason for his anger was towards the Injustices he witnesses every day and that he himself suffered since a young age and before becoming Robin. Another thing is that, well.. Bruce and the narrative are kinda "weird", aka injust, towards Jason's anger. Always pointing it as his "fatal flaw", and Bruce instead of addressing and trying to understand why his son feels and acts like this he gives him general speeches about justice and that "they can't be judge, jury and executioner". Though, i don't want to villainize Bruce in any way for this, as it is understandable that he comes from a very different perspective from Jay and he did try his best at being a dad (especially more during this time than later) and in giving Jay a loving home. Thou, one thing i will never understand and that still gets under my skin a little is,, how tf didn't Bruce realize sooner that Jason's anger was related to losing his parents and not having the chance to grieve them properly... like, i get that Bruce is Human, he is allowed to fail, but you would think he would have understood better considering he relates to that pain, you know. For not saying that Bruce also was kinda the one to "make Jason's anger worse", in the sense that, like i said before, Bruce focuses too much on this idea that Jason is being so consumed by his anger, when that is mostly not the case until Bruce starts and keeps talking about "channelling anger and grief towards vigilantism", like i am not necessarily saying that Bruce caused or was the one to make Jason's anger worse, but to a certain extent by projecting on to him he definitely contributed to make Jason more "guided by anger in the field", especially after Jason found out that Bruce hid from him that Two-Face killed his dad. And ya, Bruce did discuss with Alfred about if he made a mistake by making Jason Robin in A Death in the Family, but by then it was already too late to fix what he helped "break", in a sense. Also, him prioritising going after the Joker instead of looking for and later staying with his son in order to work together in saving Sheila (and as we all already know this is not the first time Bruce prioritises his mission over his kids, especially with Jason). Then, Jay is left to go on his own and, basically, ends up sacrificing everything to meet and save his biological mom, only to end up beaten and blown up by the Joker after she betrayed him.

Though, what should be the main take away from Jason's Robin run is that he is just a sweet kid that cares about people, to the point that in most missions with Batman he often stays behind to give medical care to victims and bystanders while Bats runs after the villains, but that can have a little bit of a temper that is mostly linked to his trauma from growing up in a difficult situation (poor, parents probably used to fight, mom sick, dad not present because he went to work for a mob boss, being needed to fend for himself on the streets and losing his parents). And that anger was made worse by Bruce's brand of justice, that he simultaneously uses to deal with his own grief, and Bruce instead of understanding, and then understanding when it was too late, that that was not what Jason needed to heal and have a good life, and ignoring/not realising that, even before meeting Bruce, he already had a "sense of justice" of his own (see it in how he helped Batman in the story they first met, when he realizes that Ma Gunn is running a criminal institution where she "recruits" young boys to work for her, i mean Jay stopping Ma is what made Bruce take Jason in in the first place, so..). As well as that Jay is a kid that appreciates living and having a new family with Bruce and Alfred and enjoys to have the chance to go back to school and learn new things. Also, i think it's important to note that before he died, and Jay was in the warehouse with his mother, he got up after being beaten bloody by the Joker and put his body between his mom and the bomb in order to protect her... this poor boy was ready to die if it meant that he could give a little bit of a chance to his mom to survive, even if she betrayed his trust.. like, i can't ..this boy deserves so much better. And to add to it, Jay, after he returns from the dead, says that he doesn't blame his mother for his death and that he still loves her despite everything... (and this in comics where the writers remember that Sheila exists/existed or don't outright erase her...).

Gotta add that the writers putting the blame on Jason and his choices for his death is so wrong and horrible.. like ya he did some stupid and, in the moment, bad choices, but he was a 15-year-old that lost his parents and that had hope to meet his biological mom, for crying out loud!! How can you act like he deserved this fate just because he is "reckless and angry"?! Also, how in any capacity was anger involved in A Death in the Family when Jason went looking for his mom... like tf? Like ya, he was angry but only when he heard Bruce and Alfred discussing to bench him, and then he just left to get some fresh air to calm down instead of arguing, so ya... And the writing should stop "acting" as if it's not like every single adult that was supposed to help and look out for him failed him in some way.. you know... i mean ya, he was a teenager capable of making his own choices and of recognizing his mistakes, but it still doesn't change that at this point he was in a pretty vulnerable situation and to be honest Bruce wasn't really helping for the most part.

And going a little back to Bruce and Alfred discussing “if it was a good idea to make Jason Robin”, i have seen some discussions in fandom, where because of this and what happened to Jason in A Death in the Family and after he was resurrected, that Jason should have never be made or allowed to continue to be Robin, and that if he was benched and Bruce “left” him only as his son that things would have been better and he would have had “his happy ending with his new family”. But the thing is,, the problem here is not Jason being Robin or being a “bad Robin” to begin with… like ya, there is a rather dumb insistence on the writers on painting Jason in a worse light as Robin, especially when they were doing so as a comparison factor between Jason and Tim, once the latter took on the title. But, Jason was a good Robin! HE WAS A GOOD ROBIN!!! AND HE LOVED BEING ROBIN!! He did is duties, he helped people, he was happy being Robin. He listened to Bruce,, and the only times “he went on his own” was in “good faith to do the right thing and impress Bruce” (like when he captured Scarecrow on his own and brought him to the Batcave), and when he went after his mother, but on this last one, it relates to a more personal and emotional situation, so it’s understandable. And, like i pointed out before, the ONLY ONE talking about “USING ANGER AND HURT AND CHANNELING THEM TOWARDS VIGILANTISISM” WAS BRUCE,,, BRUCE STARTED THIS BECAUSE HE COULDN’T UNDERSTAND THAT HIS BOYS NEEDED DIFFERENT WAYS TO DEAL WITH THEIR GRIEF AND MOVE ON!! Because this man, as we will see as well later and we, generally, already know,, is very hard to move when it comes to his own convictions. This is why, i also think it’s wrong or horrible to call Jason “Bruce’s biggest mistake/failure”, because, while Bruce did fail his son in many ways, the way this phrase frames Jason as “Bruce’s mistake” is quite reductive and goes back to the “Bruce only took Jason in so he wouldn’t become a criminal” and, again, that somehow Jason always had “something wrong” with him that doesn’t “allow” him to be Robin without failure,, and because Bruce was so focused on this idea about Jason, he basically forgot that this boy needed more than vengeance, just like he did with Dick. But Dick had the luck of having had for a long time close friends to help him move on without Bruce, Jason on the other hand mostly had only Bruce as his closest one,,, so my point here is: Bruce failed at realizing that his son needed other ways to deal with his emotions, and more specifically his grief, he needed other perspectives from different people, he needed closer friends of his age and, perhaps, of similar background, he needed other support systems,, and Bruce didn’t allow him to have them in a sense with his “never changing view on and dedication to justice”,,, like it’s even confirmed in one story from Batman Annual, about Jay going to school, and the kids there thinking he is very weird because, usually, after school he immediately left for home and never joined any clubs,, they thought he was the weird kid that spent time alone in his huge manor with his old butler, because he went home immediately after classes ended because of his Robin duties,, and Jason did express in the same story that he would have enjoyed being able to join a club after a teacher told him he needed to join one, more specifically he wanted to do and participate in a theatre play, but he never did…. So ya, you would think that Bruce and Alfred would have realized that Jason needed other connections and other things to explore and do other than Robin stuff in order to become better and heal. He was a kid!!! He needed this type of things in his life!!

Now that i got the basics of Robin Jason, let's move on to Red Hood:

Lost Days and Under the Red Hood - the Winick era (i guess i can call it that, lol): when it comes to these stories, i have a very dislike/hate-like/love (or just overall complicated, lmao) relationship with it (and i think most people do, i guess... or at least the people from the circles i have been in). And that is because... well, despite being Jason's revival story and having some awesome moments, such as Talia helping Jay, Jay saving the lives of some college students and from being framed as bombers, freeing kids from traffickers, exploring his desire for revenge against Bruce and Joker, and how he thinks about "how can Bruce let Joker get away when he is taking away/breaking so many families", as examples. But.....you probably already know what's coming *sigh*... the writing is also awful because Talia, after putting Jay in the Pit, is portrayed in a very disgusting way, imo, in some panels. And while i sympathise with her for how her father manipulated her through the feelings she has towards Bruce, and just how he generally treats her honestly, i hated seeing her getting involved with Jay that way (aka sleeping with him)... when i saw those panels i wanted to gouge my eyes out (though thank everything it was retconned later), but i gotta say (and i apologize for the aggressiveness): Winick you fucking suck for what you did to Talia!! (sorry i know this doesn't do anything, but i needed to let it out.. and ya, i know Morrison did her way way worse, but while Winick wrote her better, that type of relationship between Talia and Jay felt so unnecessary, like she is supposed to be more of a protector, mentor and mother figure, or that was what i remember thinking when i first read Lost Days, until those panels appeared. Though, it is also possible to interpret that Talia got involved with Jay that way because of her own traumatic event that she went through in Batman: Death and the Maidens, that being that she was tortured and brainwashed by her sister Nyssa (which was horrifying) and made to fight the most important people to her, aka Bruce and Ra's, against her will... also, she slept with Jason because she blames Bruce for how her father has killed in that story,, so it can be seen as both Jason and Talia getting involved that way because of their shared hatred and disappointment towards Bruce, also because they are both messed-up and traumatized people,, but, ya know, it’s still weird and disgusting as fuck, especially if you were like me and took their relationship as mother-son since the beginning of the story.. so, RIP to those of us who did that; also, this comic was written in the late 2000s, of course healthy and “legal” relationships weren’t a priority, the priority was sexy times because sexy times… and I hate it!!*more about this particular subject later).

But ignoring how Winick ruined Talia with those specific actions, i am glad that most part of the fandom seem to choose to discuss more about Talia as a mentor and protector of Jay during that time, even if she failed at some things (such as making Jay desire revenge against Bruce in "her way" many times, and not in the murderous way Jay was at first thinking, and actually helping him with his situation and feelings) and even if, at first, her motivations were more selfish and related more to her feelings and relationship with Bruce. I mean, if she hadn’t stuck with Jay, trained him, protected him from Ra's and put him in the Pit, Jay would have been (most probably) dead again and for good this time, considering that Ra's wanted to get rid of him in order to avoid "starting a war with the Bat". Plus, she put him in the Pit because while she interacted with catatonic Jason she saw that he still had capacity for empathy/emotions, while her father dismissed him as an emotionless machine and mindless puppet, and was running out of patience with "Talia's little experiment" (as Ra's also called Jay)... just to make it clear that Talia shouldn't be as demonized as she is when it comes to her relationship with Jason, and that she was the only one that didn’t give up on him.

Though, i still think it's important to realize the ways Talia manipulated Jay, such as Talia telling Jay "You remain unavenged!" when he was very confused after being “brought back” by the pit, giving Jay information about the new Robin and about Joker still being alive, but she never once mentioned, or really no one says to Jay, that Bruce did go after Joker with a vengeance after his death and that Superman had to be there to ground Bruce to not do the unthinkable for himself (aka kill Joker), and the many times she tries to make Jay change his way of revenge on Bruce by stalling him with her missions and teachings when she realized that Jay was "going a little too far" for her taste, and she finally, literally at the end of the story, repeatedly encouraged him "to become the new Batman Gotham City needs". Also, i want to point out that the "Jason is angry because he was replaced so quickly" is only a big deal/important in Lost Days, because later, and mainly, that turns to just another reminder that nothing changed after his death, and that Bruce was no problem keeping a Robin around while Joker is still alive and going about his usual routine. Like, he doesn't even care about getting Robin back, which is something he says to Tim in the Titans Tower Fight (that i will talk about more in the topic about it, lol). And there is an argument to be made of either or not Jay would have been better if Joker was killed, maybe to an extent but definitely not fully, especially with his problems related to Bruce.

*Going a little back about Talia and Jason’s intimate relationship in Lost Days: This relationship (because of those intimate moments that i mentioned before) became very controversial in fandom, being that some people see it in pure disgust and others think it’s okay… the people on the first category (myself included) feel this way because we took the relationship between them since the beginning as mother and son, which is also supported by the fact that Talia is depicted both in a Lost Days cover and in Rebirth as holding Jay in the Lazarus Pit in the position of the sculpture “La Pietà” by Michelangelo of Virgin Mary cradling her dead son after his crucifixion, and all of the endearing moments Talia and Jason have when he is catatonic seemed more like platonic love between an adult and a child/teen. While on the other side people believe that it is acceptable because they never saw the relationship that way, because she was never a mother figure to Jason to begin with, and that when the intimacy happened Jason was already of age, and also, because of the time period that they were mostly apart while Jay was training, it means that Jason is way over 18 when they are shown sleeping together and that the relationship between them couldn’t have developed in the way the first group sees it… and also because we are talking about a character, aka Talia, that comes from a different culture and was a different way of life, status and relationships, to what we do here in the west. And like, on the contrary of what some seem to believe or usually focus on about in this controversial topic, there is no problem with Talia sleeping with other men while she still has feelings for Bruce, like it is implied she does in Lost Days with that assassin that works for her, because well, Bruce and Talia aren’t actually together anymore in this story, but also that Talia wouldn’t be the first dc character to have multiple romantic and/or intimate relationships,, so there “being a problem with her sleeping with others because of Bruce” is a stupid argument and such a big double standard that shouldn’t even be brought up at this point… like who tf said that Talia needs to be fucking devoted to Bruce only and for forever?? That is just a sexist view, especially considering that male heroes tend to sleep around with a lot of women, either in a “playboy, maintaining their identity way” or “because they feel like it and/or actually have feelings for the women they are sleeping with”. So, NO, the argument here shouldn’t even bring up Bruce or Talia’s feelings for Bruce as what is or feels wrong when we see Talia and Jason sleep together, at least not in the way previously described. Plus, even Winick himself says that the audience is supposed to feel uncomfortable with seeing them together like that, even if it is for different reasons than the ones i mentioned above:

For those playing at home, Jason Todd, at the end of Red Hood: Lost Days, and Talia slept together. I did that because it was really disturbing and to shine a light on the fact that these are not really well people. A lot of people didn’t like that, which was correct. You weren’t supposed to like that. That was supposed to be, ‘oh God, stop that, what are you doing?’ It really was. That was grudge sex all the way around. As well as, for Talia, her reasons, being that Bruce had wound up inadvertently killing her father and she was ragingly angry with him and went from love to pure hate and still loving him at the same time. And Jason, given the opportunity to have sex with just about the only woman who Bruce has had sex with or really cares about, 'Yeah, I’ll go there.

(after the interviewer says: He’s like, 'yeah, cause I hate that guy.’)

Yeah! 'I hate that guy!’ And I think that Jason probably had the hots for Talia. She’s hot, he doesn’t exactly have a lot of relationships going on – It’s not a good thing for either of them. These are two people who murder people, two people who are screwed up, screwed up emotionally. There’s this question that why would he do that and Talia only loves Bruce. She might only love Bruce, but she does have sex with other people because that’s just sex. And we’re all grown-ups here. I think those who shake their fist and get angry at this kind of thing might be some of our older readers. I’m an older reader, but I acknowledge the fact that people aren’t that chaste and grow up: people have sex. That’s why I ended it like that; It was messed up. – Judd Winick in the Comicvine podcast

And there it is, from the guy that wrote the comic. It’s supposed to be something wrong and it is… we are allowed to say it is wrong and to hate it/feel uncomfortable because of it, either being for the difference in age and relationship interpretation and/or just the context of the moment with the reasons that Winick brought up in the interview. But we also need to move on from it, because we (me included) tend to fixate on this part too much when talking about Lost Days, also this was written 13 years ago!! Like damn… but anyway,, i think it’s time to move on… plus, Jay staying so much with Talia, or at least Talia and Jay sleeping together, was retconned when, in the New-52, dc made Talia guide Jason to the All Caste to train.

Jason and the “Pit Madness”

I gotta say that, personally, i am not a big fan of the, dubbed by the fanon, "Pit Madness". Like, it is obvious, and it is pointed out by some characters in the story, that Jay became "cold and a psycho" after emerging from the Pit. So ya, i guess we can agree that the Pit can change a person's perspective and emotions to a more "dark turn" (i guess i can call it that), but it obviously doesn't cause/originate "bad thoughts and actions" or make the person a "uncontrollable monster that kills" and that can "snap out of it and become good again", as i interpret that what the Pit does, is make the person more focused/influenced by their dark corners with their worse experiences and feelings (though this might just be my interpretation, but i did see other people that see it this way as well)... anyway the point i am trying to make is that "Pit Madness", or at least what fanon thinks it is, doesn't exist, especially because if it did, it would just take away any agency Jason and any other character have over their actions after emerging from the Pit. So ya... also, even if Jay has a colder demeanour, he keeps saving people while on Talia's missions (even if he refuses to admit that he is “following his Robin roots” with these actions) and even has a moment where he spares the life of a criminal because he only worked as a driver for mercenaries, so it is clear that Jason is not just “blindly killing any criminal he comes across” in these missions, as he understands that not all of them are “that horrible and just need to survive in one way or another”. He also keeps reflecting on his emotions and thoughts towards Bruce and Joker (and heck, he even has moments where he directly compares himself to his past Robin-self and Bruce's ideals and teachings... how can some people put all of this under "influence of a green magic pit" when this is all Jason and Jason's being and thoughts..), so he being "cold and a psycho" and being that because of the pit and being "evil" because of Talia and her manipulation just gets disproven. Or least, it proves that these aren't the main factors that make Jason "evil" or start killing or have the desire for revenge against Bruce and Joker. Also, Talia manipulating him and having more selfish motivations while at the same time genuinely growing to care about Jason is plausible, which is what happened in this story, because she is a multidimensional character that walks a grey line, just like Jay. And well, she is a character that is constantly tied to love and so she is very caring and physical with her affections, and very dedicated to her loved ones,, unless you are a dumb writer that wants to make her Ra’s al Ghul 2.0 and a horrible mother and ex-lover *cough* Morrison *cough*.

Going to UTRH, i think that the story is pretty good and i like the conflict between Jason and Bruce,, especially the final confrontation (though the crisis event at end took me out of it). BUT, i think that what needs to be understood better about this story is the following things:

1. Just because Jason has trauma, that doesn't justify all the lives he takes, especially when those lives are just random crooks that most probably (or at least a part of them) are one in the first place, because they felt forced to be in order to survive in Gotham City (also a lot of them might have families to take care of). And so, the writing and Jason's attitude towards them is quite dismissive of the fact that these are people and that not all of them might be in this situation by choice (also, it is obvious that Jay doesn't kill any big villain, like Joker or Black Mask, because dc cannot kill their iconic villains, but like... idk man, the crook killing was too much in this story...). Also, this kinda goes against on how Jason was going about killing criminals in Lost Days, though this might be because in UTRH he was more focused on taking down Black Mask and controlling the drug trade, which, besides recruiting already existing drug dealers and their crooks, also included taking out the ones working for the opposition… so, even if it is a big jump from how Jason “usually does things”, like usual, Jason always was a reason why he kills certain criminals, he doesn’t kill randomly. Though, that doesn’t invalidate the position made at the beginning of this point

2. Though, i also feel like the writer is also kinda dismissive towards Jason's trauma and his need for his father to "save him and show his love to him", which i think is what leads a lot of people to see it as "Jason is throwing a tantrum or over exaggerating or just wrong because he is too emotional, blá blá blá"

3. I believe that there is no "right answer" to the conflict between Red Hood and Batman. Like, both bring up both good and bad points to their situation and beliefs; also there are more ways to look at this confrontation than just the morality one, such as the more emotional conflict between father and son, and how it is more about their love for each other than the Joker or morality; though, i have to bring up Bruce choosing to uphold his beliefs by stopping Jay from killing Joker, instead of choosing to truly help his son, just like before in A Death in the Family.. and it's kinda ironic how he ends up (probably) killing Jason at the end. Also, when it comes to the never ending debate of either or not Bruce should have killed Joker for Jason, i like to point out this gem of a post that puts it well when saying that Bruce should not be forced to do something he doesn't want to do and that he knows is something that is gonna ruin him for the rest of his life. Also, that Bruce knows (when the writers want to admit) that he can make mistakes, including when going to beat up someone when he thinks they are guilty (also pointing to this other gem), and that Bruce not killing is also a great contrast to Gotham’s corruption of the “powers of Gotham City that were supposed to protect people, but they are corrupt and kill for “no good reason”, and people dying by it is seen as “normal”/or just another day in this city” (bringing up this as well). And i know that it seems like i am on Bruce's side here, but i am not,, i am trying to be understanding towards both parties in this conflict.. also, to go back to Jason, this is not just about his revenge or his relationship with Bruce as it is (like i pointed out in the Lost Days part) about Bruce letting this cycle of murder and pain continue by "keeping Joker alive", it's about all the victims of the Joker (which includes Jason), it's the "How many more need to die and suffer for something to change?!". For not saying that Jason sees "Bruce killing Joker because he took him away from Bruce" as a way to show/prove his love for Jay......... (also, i saw somewhere that some people claim that Jason "forced Bruce in a position where he has to Kill Joker", and like.. how?? i mean, ya Jay did orchestrate all of this crazy plan to bring him, Joker and Bruce together, but he didn't force him, what Jay did was to make Bruce a question,, aka, “does he choose Jason or his morals? And is he important enough to Bruce?” Plus, i think it’s not even that sure what even Jason himself expected out of this,, like him knowing how Bruce is about his code, was he really sure he would have his desired outcome here?? i mean, i think Jay probably knew that Bruce would have never killed, but still went with this plan most probably guided by his feelings and his need to feel like he belongs and has people that care about him, idk.. there are many things and perspectives that can be put on Jason’s plan and desires here, so ya)... The point is that people should stop looking at this confrontation as if there is only "one right answer" and without considering the two characters' different points of view overall and how they can reflect into this situation specifically. Because both Jason and Bruce are simultaneously right and wrong about a lot of things here, either be it in an emotional or in a moral perspective or both together (i am gonna "shut up" about this now, because this confrontation has so many complexities in it and so many other people have talked about it way better than i can and this post is already getting long enough..... so, moving on to the next point)

4. Jason doesn't have caring about innocents (or women and children) as a priority in this story. Honestly, i think he showed more care towards random people in Lost Days than in UTRH. Though, i want to emphasize that just because i say this, it doesn't mean that i am trying to downplay Jason's love and care for innocent people and his desire for love and family for himself, i am just pointing out the impression the writing gives me in UTRH when it comes to what Jay prioritizes throughout most of the story, even if one of his demands is "don't deal to children or near schools" when taking over drug trades (also, when it comes to this, some questions: why doesn't he demand to not deal to others as well, and specifically to addicts? Aren't they like the most at-risk group when it comes to these trades? And isn't it a little bit fucked up that with Jay's background (his mom dying because of taking drugs) that he became a drug dealer? Like, okay, fine... i guess it might be justified by his philosophy of "i am fighting crime by controlling it", but i mean.. i just think people should talk more about Jason's flaws when it comes to his "main mission" (or one of) that he claims to have in UTRH, because some things don't seem to add up, ya know? Also, he kills his own dealers way too many times..). But ya, protecting kids (or other groups of people) isn't his main mission in this story, his main mission is to get under Bruce's skin and show that his methods work better than his, alongside the fact that Jay is just a hurt and emotional teenager that is thinking more about his own desires and needs than others and how those others can be pulled into his “war on crime”

5. I know that the last point can come off as me downgrading Jason’s achievements in this story, but that is not my intention, because yes, what Jason did and the plans he put into action and at such a very young age are very impressive, especially how he managed to get at Batman with them, but i put more emphasis on his flaws here because people don’t seem to talk about them much

6. This should be obvious at this point, but while UTRH is one of Jason's essential stories for being his return to Gotham and Bruce and in how he brought up an interesting perspective against Batman and his code, this story alone should not be seen as the "definitive characterization" for Jason, or the only "right way" or wtv. Like, i am not saying this to discourage people of talking about it or Jason's characterization here, i am saying this more in the sense that some people in fandom seem to be forever stuck on this era of Jason, and with some kinda limited and/or one-dimensional takes on this story and especially of the conflict between Jason and Bruce, when there is a lot more to him than these 2 stories (UTRH and Lost Days)

(obviously, Winick wrote more comics with Jason than these 2, but i put them in the "Winick era" section because they are his "most definitive" works for Jay, I mean they really are the main comics he was the main writer of, lol… just to clarify my "category system")

Also, i want to say that i might have come off as kinda "against" these stories or Winick's writing. But on contrary of what it might seem, i actually enjoyed reading these stories (as i mentioned at the beginning of each part for Lost Days and UTRH), even if they have their problems.. plus, my points here aren't so much of a critique of the writing as it is of general fanon interpretations that i have seen online and that imo don't seem right... and i actually think Winick did a pretty good job with Jason, especially in these 2 stories, as he paints Jason as more of an anti-hero with pretty reasonable points,, even if some ways that Jason was shown felt a little bit too much of “showing how he is repeating the cycle of violence” (like,, did he really need to kill all of those random crooks??).

But then the next writers looked at UTRH and decided to turn him into an outright villain... because why not? (ufff)

Entering Jason's "full villain" era:

Titans Tower: a lot of fanon tends to make the Titans Tower fight between Tim and Jason this big traumatic event for Tim, even thou he literally didn't care much and was more pissed with it than anything (plus he had actual traumatic events that happened to him at that time that mattered more, such as his dad dying). Also, this fight is just another of "annoying villain is bothering me with psychological games and a beating when i have better shit to worry about" for Tim. Plus, Jason did it to test the new Robin to see what he is made of and what makes him better... and Jay ends up complimenting Tim for being good and having friends (also, Jay is jealous that Tim got what he didn’t get to have himself as Robin, after all he does make the speech of “you had a dad that looked after you, went to private school and slept on a bed, while i was trying to survive on the streets”)... so ya... thou, this attack, was obviously done by Jason as another way to get at Bruce for replacing him so quickly (like, i don't even think Jay was that much of a personal problem with Tim, it's always tied to Bruce), but more importantly because Jason believes that, after his horrible death, Bruce shouldn't have allowed for there to be a new Robin. And I think it is interesting how Jason also brings up the fact that the heroes didn’t bother to remember him properly as he was as an hero and as a person, being that he wasn’t even remembered as a Titan,,, i mean, he wasn’t with the Titans much during his Robin days, but the times he was with them he was very excited about it and did a pretty good job working with them, like the least they could have done after finding out Jay was dead was to make a memorial of him as Robin and as Dick’s brother, and also because people talked about him as a “cautionary tale”, like I think most people would be pissed that they weren’t remembered properly as they truly were after dying. Also, Jason does bring up some got points about the existence of Robin in Batman’s crusade.

But, if you put aside the possible personal reasons for why Jay did this, this hole fight is actually pretty ridiculous... like Jay looking like grown ass man and wearing the Robin suit, him ripping his clothes that were over the Robin suit and Tim not giving two shits... like, in insight i don't think this issue (because it happens in one single issue) should be taken as seriously as it is in fanon... just saying... though, i don't fault people for wishing to make this encounter and relationship more than "just a beating for the sake of it or to be cool" or wtv dc wanted with this issue.

Other stories: in the event One year later, like the title of the event suggests, there are some stories happening one year after the Infinite Crisis, when some of the heroes that went missing during the crisis return home, which includes Nightwing. So, in this story Jason first appears in New York dressed in a Nightwing suit and killing criminals. He wants to work with Dick, but for obvious reasons (such as that Jay is ruining his reputation as Nightwing) he refuses. Though it touches a little on Jason's desire to have someone to be at his side, even if he is very murderous with his proposal.. anyway, Jay wants to work with Dick on a case, Dick tries but Jason is too much, and Dick ends up having to save Jay, then the Tentatodd thing happens… Then he appears in Green Arrow on a team-up story with Batman where Jay is on criminal lord Red Hood business with a villain named Brick... also the first thing he does in this story is kill his own henchmen that he sent to do his business (again with Jay not giving a single fuck about killing crooks *sigh*). Then, he captures Speedy (Mia Dearden) and brings her to her school to "train her" and he tries to get to her and "recruit her" (i guess) to his side by comparing their lives, being that they both had parents that hurt them, had to survive by themselves on the streets and ended up being taken in by a billionaire vigilante, which messes up with Mia mentally, even if she wasn't that physically hurt. But like with Tim, Jay did this more as another way to get at Bruce and to show Bruce "the price of enlisting others" into his crusade, and in this case specifically asking for Green Arrow and Speedy's help to stop Jason's business in Star City,, and also the fact that in these stories, he is going against the idea and existence of child sidekicks. In the Outsiders, Jason calls Dick to talk because he has proof that Black Lighting is innocent (for context he was been framed to have killed someone), which shows again that Jay cares about innocent people and making the right people pay (i guess i can put it like that).

Note: as it can be seen in these stories, including the Titans Tower fight, Jason is not a main character, obviously, he is either an antagonist or a supporting character that sometimes "gives a hand to the good guys", but he is still pretty much a villain. And even if most of the messed-up things he does are directed at Bruce, there is really no good justification for Jason to choose to torment others just because they are associated with Bruce (like he did to Tim, Mia, Dick and Oliver).

Countdown: ok so.... when it comes to this event i won't go into many details because it has a lot, especially for Jason, and there also a characterization problem for all of the characters in this. But i gotta say that of the post-crisis stories with Jay after UTRH this one brings some pretty interesting things about Jason and his feelings about himself, his methods, Gotham City and Batman, and the establishment of a potentially interesting character development for him. In the sense that he gets to an Earth where he meets a Batman that killed the Joker to avenge his Jason's death and that since doing so he started eradicating crime in Gotham in the way Jason was doing as the Red Hood (or tried to do) which makes Jay realise how wrong it is, and that Bruce was right in not making himself kill because he knows that he wouldn't stop if he were to start doing it. And Jay also gets more trauma by watching this Batman die. Oh, and this where Jay gets his Red Robin suit that this Batman made for his Jason. Anyway, i am not good at explaining this event, but i will leave you with this post if you wanna learn more about Jay's development here. Though, the main interesting thing is that Jason ends up questioning vigilantism in a way, after going through all of that (thou, be aware that after Countdown, the next writers decided to completely ignore this development... so there is that... Classic DC being DC... ufff).

Battle of the Cowl: so, this story happens after Batman "dies" in Batman R.I.P., and Gotham City goes into complete chaos. Nightwing assembled a team to get Gotham back in control, and Jason adds to the problems by becoming the "Gun Batman". And when Dick and Damian confront him he shoots Damian... without any remorse... and then Tim puts a Bat suit on and goes to Jason's hideout and they fight. During this fight he compliments Tim's abilities and intelligence, and thinks that he would have been better if he gave up on Bruce's ideology. Then Jason asks Tim to be his Robin only to stab Tim with a Batarang... And when Nightwing shows Jason Bruce's final message to him that only manages to make it worse as Jason becomes even more enraged (also sidenote: this message is where Bruce talks about a secret from Jason's traumatic past, that some part of the fandom believes it to be evidence, alongside Jason saying he relates to Mia and the fact that he lets a molester fall of the balcony as Robin, that Jay might be a CSA survivor like Mia... though this is just speculation on fandom's part and i, personally, don't have any strong opinion about this, but considering Jason's past of surviving alone on the streets it can be a possibility... but while this is a possible interpretation of Jason's secret, it can also be any other horrible event that he went through or witnessed that marked him so deep that he represses it, explaining why he snaps after Bruce mentions it in his message... thou again, no writer follows on this bit in future stories).

But anyway, as can be seen here, the "Jay questioning vigilantism and perhaps letting go from it and moving forward to a different path" (that still included violence thou) was thrown out of the window...

And again, what Jay did to Tim and Damian here is inexcusable, like he shot Damian because he didn't want him involved and stabbed Tim just because he refused his partnership proposal.

At the end of this story Jason "dies" in a dramatic fall after a fight with Nightwing.

Also, i need to mention that, obviously, Jason did not die, and that he was actually caught by Batman Dick and put into Arkham after going on a killing spree, but, on contrary of what many people seem to believe in popular fanon, Jason being imprisoned there wasn't that bad, considering that during this time Dick made a lot of efforts to make Arkham better and safer for the prisoners and that Joker wasn't even in there during Jay's stay, so he didn't have to be in his presence or acknowledge that he and his murderer were in the same building, because that is not what happened. So, please stop villainizing Dick so much!! He did his best at the time where everything was a big mess, he had a lot of big responsibilities thrown on his back and Jason was doing nothing but causing more problems (plus in the many encounters Dick and Jay had over these stories Dick always tried to offer help to Jason, either be it understanding and wanting to listen or to let Jay deal with his issues through fighting with him... also, most of the times Jason ends up running away never to be found again until he wants to make himself seen again, and it usually involves a dramatic fight, *changing the tone to joking* because he is a drama queen, ok? we love our traumatized drama queen!). * serious again* And Jay escapes from the other prison he was later put in anyway... also he murdered like 97 people when he did so....so ya...

When it comes to these stories (aka from Titans Tower to after the Battle of the Cowl, aka more or less till the end of Post-crisis), imo, what Jay does is a big jump for someone that started killing horrible people that used, killed and trafficked kids or sold drugs to vulnerable people to just doing violence like this... i mean, i guess the writers want to justify it as "desperation" in a sense, after he was "let down by Bruce", but like...not like this, i mean, looking at Lost Days and UTRH, even if Jay's plans and actions weren't perfect and had their flaws, they made sense, they were about revenge and "doing what needed to be done" in his mind, and he only "lost it" when confronted with the 2 people related directly to his trauma, aka Bruce and Joker, like the only thing i can see "working" a little is with Jason "losing it" because of Bruce's message in BotC, which happened, but he started "going off the rails" way before that... but anyways, unfortunately, all of this mess still makes part of Jay's canon, ufff... And i fault these stories to contributing to the "insane Jason"/"Lazarus Pit Mad Jason" narrative/idea.

And so, even with all of this mess, i still think that it's important to understand and remember THIS: Jason in Lost Days and UTRH, and yes, including his “villain era”, was never insane!! Because Jason knew what he was doing, he obviously was his sense of reality intact, and more importantly having trauma and doing extreme things because of it does not equal being insane! Being traumatized/mentally anguished and being insane are very different!

And, i felt the need to bring up sources for this, so here they are:

Insanity: mental illness of such a severe nature that a person cannot distinguish fantasy from reality, cannot conduct her/his affairs due to psychosis, or is subject to uncontrollable impulsive behavior.

(Legal Dictionary - Law.com. (2019). Law.com Legal Dictionary. https://dictionary.law.com/Default.aspx?selected=979)

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Insanity is a term used by some people to describe behavior motivated by disrupted mental states that may interfere with functioning. Because the term is often used in a pejorative manner to describe those experiencing mental illness, the field of psychology has largely abandoned its use. However, insanity is still used within the legal system as a mitigating factor or defense against criminal allegations.

Because mainstream culture now recognizes mental illness is a health concern rather than a personal failing, the use of the term insanity has fallen out of favor. Many mental health advocacy organizations argue that “insane” and similar terms should never be used, pointing out the importance of referring to those who have mental illnesses as people first, rather than by their illness.

“Not guilty by reason of insanity” is used as a defense in fewer than 1% of felony cases in the United States. Of the defendants using this defense, only about a quarter are acquitted. Generally speaking, people who qualify as criminally insane experience a level of mental illness that prevents them from understanding either their actions or the consequences of their actions.

(Insanity. (2015, July 20). GoodTherapy.org Therapy Blog. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/insanity-definition)

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Mental anguish: mental suffering which includes fright, feelings of distress, anxiety, depression, grief and/or psychosomatic physical symptoms. It is distinguished from physical pain due to an injury, but it may be considered in awarding damages for physical injury due to a defendant's negligence or intentional infliction of harm.

(Legal Dictionary - Law.com. (2019). Law.com Legal Dictionary. https://dictionary.law.com/Default.aspx?selected=1239) ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Psychological, or emotional trauma, is damage or injury to the psyche after living through an extremely frightening or distressing event and may result in challenges in functioning or coping normally after the event.

(Health, B. (2017, July 24). Symptoms, Signs & Effects of Psychological Trauma. Cascade; Cascade Behavioral Health Hospital. https://www.cascadebh.com/behavioral/trauma/signs-symptoms-effects/)

**also, i know it's kinda over the top to put these definitions in this post about comic books, but if we are gonna talk about the mental health of fictional characters with trauma, let's at least understand the basics of what we are talking about... because from what i have seen, with Jason and other dc characters, is that people don't understand, not even the DC writers, what being insane is, and just end up labelling almost every villain (especially the Batman ones) as insane and call it a day, when that is not the case for most of them. Actually, it seems like most of the rogues are suffering from trauma/mental anguish because of the way society or others let them down, and others are criminals because that's what they desire to do and because of more selfish desires, and, as I pointed before in the UTRH section, Gotham is also a place where the systems and most people simply don’t care about other people’s suffering because that is just like an everyday occurrence, so ya, like, for example, i wouldn't call Poison Ivy insane (like i am no mental health expert, but just by seeing the definition of insane, i can "see" the characters that fit and don't fit there). Also, if you want a more complete look into the dc rogues' mental illnesses and dc's mislabelling of them i leave you with this amazing post.

And i want to bring up how, in the previous linked post, op points out that Joker is not insane either because he does understand what he is doing, which also goes with the definitions presented above and with what Jason says to Joker after he captures him in UTRH:

"You are not nearly as crazy as you would like us all to believe or even as crazy as you would like to believe. It just makes it easier to justify every sick monstrous thing you’ve ever done when you play the part of the mad clown. You are crazy, bubba, but you ain’t that crazy. Look at that. I wiped a smile off of Joker’s face. I have been waiting a long time for that." - Jason Todd to Joker in Batman (1940) #649

Also, to point out, that after Jay says that, Joker shuts up from continuously talking about how he killed Jason and other things he was saying to get under Jason's skin, which is interesting, as i guess that it can be seen as an admission on Joker’s part that, like Jay says, he is not as insane as he wants himself and others to believe he is.

Anyways, like the point of this insanity and mental anguish/illness "research" is to give people in fanon a new perspective that "makes more sense" (i guess i can say that) and you know, the more you learn the better... like, of course, i don't think that people need to necessarily do this type of research to post about fictional characters, but when it comes to such sensible topics perhaps it is better to look things up before making big claims, and especially analysis posts. Also,, this is a need that dc writers need more than anyone else in this "discussion", like we are in 2023, make better character guides/descriptions for your characters and their mental illnesses!!

End of the Post-crisis part.

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(Sorry New-52, but i rather pretend you don't exist, especially your RHATO... so time just passed until RHATO (2016), okay?) - also, the irony of me saying this in this post.. thought, I just wanna say that I do have some Jason moments and other comics from the New-52 that I liked, but those comics were more of the Green Lanterns,, I didn’t like the Bat-books that much, especially the main Jason one…

But moving on,

Rebirth Jason Todd

RHATO: During Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) (or at least the first part), Jason is making the effort to follow Bruce's rules so he can return to the Batfamily, and it really shows how much Jay desires to have a family to belong to, and to be loved and love, the poor boy even expresses how he feels bad about not going to Tim's funeral (which made me so emotional, like it's one fucking panel, but it hurts, okay? Also, as usual and obviously, Timmy was never dead and then he returned to this continuity,, but at first everyone thought he was dead, so..). And Jay also has wonderful relationships with Artemis and Bizarro, being that they are kindred spirits in many ways.

I mean ya, Artemis and Jay at first were enemies but that was because of a misunderstanding when they first crossed paths during their respective missions. But then they grow on each other to the point of romance, like they never get a proper relationship per say (the "it was like kissing my sister/brother" thing still annoys me so much..), but they had some sweet moments. Also, it was so sad when they had their first kiss and Artemis and Bizarro were transported somewhere else, and they were taken away right after Jay was beaten bloody by Bruce after Jay "killed Penguin" (he was never dead btw). Why do writers love to make Jay suffer so much... he was doing so well with his new-found family *crying*.

Note: Speaking of Jason and romantic relationships, in my humble opinion, i think that Jason is a character that doesn't need one in canon. I know it might come off as ironic coming from me, considering that i do like and share in my blog posts about some Jason ships (like Jaytemis and Jaykyle), but i like them more in a fanon context. In canon, Jason has way more important stuff the writers need to focus on than romance,, plus them shipping Jay with almost any other girl they find and can do so with them is stupid and wrong as hell (for e.g. Ravager - Rose Wilson, Barbara - which is disgusting; she is more like a sister figure to Jay, at least that’s how I and some other people see it,, plus why does dc keep "ping-ponging" her in romantic relationships with the male Bats - aka Dick (which was fine but now their relationship is meh), Jason, Tim and, oh god..fucking why.., Bruce (i wanna throw up and die) - leave Barbara alone, she doesn't need a romantic relationship, or if she has one it doesn't need to be with one of the Bats, for not saying that outside of her relationship with Dick, the others are actually so disgusting... DC PLEASE JUST STOP!!! Barbara deserves better than this shit!!!- also, apparently, they are trying to ship Jason and Yara Flor (or, well, i saw a post about it and i hated it, lol),, and i am like: bitch, what in the actual fuck... dc just stop,, these girls deserve way better than this, you are doing nothing but a disservice to all the parties involved). And i am not saying Jay cannot have a romantic relationship in canon, but like i said before, when dc does it they do it so bad, and Jay as a character currently needs development and work in other ways (sorry for the detour but it needed to be said).

Okay, now that i got over the more emotional stuff, i need to go back to some important and more serious moments (not that the emotional moments are somehow less important), such as Jay being disturbed by Black Mask killing his goons without even a flinch (yay evolution from not caring about goons to caring), Jason saving Ma Gunn and expressing his care and appreciation for her and the home he had (even if it was messed-up; like she was a criminal using children for her criminal empire... so ya, goes to show how little Jason had as a kid...) and how much he expresses that he cares about Artemis and Bizarro (like, he even said that he sees Bizarro as his brother,, he is so sweet!). Also, i have to mention the parallel the comic does between Jay helping Bizarro after he was first brought to life with Talia helping Jay when he was brought back to life and the possible religious subtext of it, which i think is pretty interesting and i have to bring up this post that explains the Religious imagery related to Jay so well (thou like reposter says it might be just us assuming and that in order to assume that we have to understand the potential subtext the writers intended, but i still think it is an interesting take). I think it works more as a way to cement right from the bat how much Jason relates to and cares about Bizarro since they first met. Like, seriously, Jay, Bizarro and Artemis were such a sweet trio, I miss them so much…

Anyways, after Jay loses everything and is left all alone again, Bruce actually comes to Jay to tell him Roy died and they reconcile. But at first the poor boy expected for Bruce to fight him.. (also, i am sympathising with Jay where because, well, Roy, one of his best friends, died and right after he lost Artemis and Bizarro, and he also got at Penguin because he was the one that "sent his dad to die in prison" when Willis worked for him, and well, and because,, more obviously,, the last time Jay and Bruce were together, Bruce beat him up really bad,, so ya.. also, another note of dc being dc, in Rebirth they retconned that Willis died while working for Penguin and not Two-Face, which has me a little confused on which one is it now considering that right now dc considers everything canon after their latest reboot, if someone knows to explain this better attached to this post, i would appreciate it).

But anyway, one thing that i really liked about this book, besides the relationship between the main trio, is that Jason and the Outlaws were left to operate in a grey line. Like ya, Jason was under Batman’s boot of “no killing”, but to the public they did things as if they were, you know, actual Outlaws, lol. Or like criminals/crime lords, but that were doing what they were doing to help people. And even Bruce said at first that “the world could use some Outlaws”…. but, of course, the moment Jay does something he doesn’t like, he ends everything.

Also, in Red Hood: Outlaw (which is the title the RHATO comic took up after Jason lost his teammates) Jason takes in and starts teaching some superpowered kids to be Outlaws (or wtv the kids wanna be) while also looking for his lost teammates sometimes, which was interesting. But the writing here, as most of Red Hood: Outlaw was meh. Why can’t this boy get a cool solo book already… i mean, i do like seeing Jason in a team with people that he can relate to and that understand and care about each other, but it is getting tiring that when he “returned” to the hero side Jay never got to have his own proper and good solo comic book series, when the rest of the Bats have quite a lot of solo series, and a lot that are actually good…

Sidenote: i want to point out some criticisms i have seen about Lobdell's writing in RHATO, both from the New-52 and Rebirth, that being that, well, besides being inconsistent with Jason's characterization, as most things with him are (lol), is that it has the problem of putting Jason into "big super events" instead of keeping him street level, as he should be. And i get where these criticisms are coming from and i do agree with them. Even if i am biased towards this book because this was my first Jason book and I really enjoyed the first arc of it, so ya.. but even if it has a "special place" for me, i can see its faults too. Such as not making an arc where they actually show better Jason's transition and to going to work with Bruce than just outright starting with Jay already working under Batman, Bruce and Jay's overall "bizarre" (i guess i can call it that) relationship, Jay kinda being made a "male power fantasy character" and losing his focus on taking down more intrinsic crime to Gotham such as drug trades (like there is nothing that says he should stop doing that just because he is "one of the good guys now", i mean of course he is not gonna kill, especially if he is trying to work with Batman, but there is no reason for Jay to lose almost all interest in keeping the streets safe.. i mean i am not saying he doesn't do it anymore in this book, but with Batman and the Outlaws, he and the story always tend to focus on the "bigger things", ya know. Red Hood Jason is supposed to be more of a street level vigilante, and Lobdell pretty much forgot that or ignored it). Also, the All Caste...like what was all of that even... why does Jay need to gain magic "soul swords" (that are pretty useless btw) and be made a protector of another realm or wtv it is, when he already is or/and wants to be a protector of his home, Gotham City... and Lobdell also mostly forgets about creating those and wasn't developed their powers in any way either... also, "they are summoned in the presence of true evil", tf does that even mean?! What really is the "metric measure" for that in the DC Universe?? And the swords are so lame that whenever Jason uses them it cannot be for long because they drain Jason’s soul, because why not… like, I think the concept is cool, but the execution and lack of exploration/evolution of them as weapons/powers is very lacking (aka non-existent). Like, Lobdell really has a problem of introducing cool concepts only to end up either rushing them and ending them abruptly and/or forgetting about them….

Though, i still think that the writing was better in Rebirth than the New-52, lol (but like i said before, i might just be more personally biased).

Nightwing (2016) #15: okay, to be honest, i just included this one to make a little bit of a parallel (alongside other comics next), with Jay and Dick’s relationship from Post-crisis (more or less… i am trying…). Also, there is nothing special to say here but it was nice to see Jason and Dick together on patrol and Dick going to him as “one of the people to talk about his new serious romantic relationship with a civilian”. Also, they bond a little over “there always being some anger involved in their vigilante lives”, which was neat.

Teen Titans (2016) Annual 1: here, Damian goes to fight with Jason because he thinks that he betrayed them by giving their plans to an enemy of the Teen Titans, considering that Jason was the one that knew and gave the mission to Robin and his Titans. And this fight is interesting because, aside from being a pretty balanced fight that gives the upper hand to the 2 parties involved, is also where Jason says to Damian that you would think that he be more understanding and trusting of Jason considering that when it comes to the Batfam and how they look at them, they are both kinda in the same boat, where they always “look out” for when Jay and Damian “let go of themselves and into their more violent murder-y urges”.

Event Leviathan (2019) #2-3: in this story Batman and company are investigating some mass killings happening around the world,, and to Jason’s surprise, considering that this happened after he was “kicked out” by Bruce in RHATO, Bruce asks for his help. Meanwhile, both Bruce and Damian keep insisting that Jason is one of the suspects for the murders (somehow??),, being that Damian just thinks he returned to killing willingly and Bruce thinks that, because he is grieving Roy’s death, that Jay is blacking out and killing out of grief or something,, which ya… Jay had nothing to do with them and just wanted to help. And then, after a fight, he obviously leaves. Way to go Batsy… Jason was ready to leave your issues and his grief aside to help you and ya do this!! At least, this comic portrayed Jason as being competent, especially when not doing so is a problem that is still present in the Rebirth comics.

Batman: Pennyworth RIP (2020): I just find it sad (but it’s also weirdly funny) how, because Bruce held a public funeral for Alfred he told Jason that he shouldn’t come… which ya… either way Jay put on a pair of dark glasses and snuck past security to be there… he loved Alfred!! Let him grieve properly!!! Anyway, they, aka Tim, Jason, Damian, Barbara, Ric/Dick and Bruce, go to a more private area to talk. And ya, it doesn’t go well… they start by doing tributes to Alfred by each member remembering him and what he did for each of them, starting with poor Damian that blames himself for what happened, i mean, they all blame themselves to an extent, but Damian was right there when Bane killed Alfred, while the others were away. Also, I like how each member of the Batfam there call Bruce out, i mean ya, he is grieving,, but that is the thing… his kids could already tell that he was “starting to consume himself” as usual,, but now they won’t deal with his bullshit anymore, in a way… like, Barbara even calls Bruce out for not going to comfort Damian after all of this,, and Jason (despite being kind of an ass, unfairly to Ric and to Damian) calls him out on the “why are you the one suffering the most here when all of us love Alfred as much as you” and what’s more, after Tim says that he could stay with Bruce in Gotham because, in true Tim fashion, “Bruce needs someone to keep him grounded”, Jason snaps that “Bruce was late again to save someone he loves, and that he should actually figure it out by himself how to fix his grief” (you know in the sense that Bruce shouldn’t need someone to pick up his pieces after he looses someone and that he should just pick himself up on his own…). And Barbara calls him out again, saying that the Batfamily needs Bruce and Batman too. So ya… look,, i know this comic comes off as a “let’s dunk on Bruce fest”,, but i will have to agree to what the kids bring up, even if the man is grieving and the kids are being a little too harsh (after all they are grieving too), you would think that as the adult and parent of the family he would do better by his family… so they could truly support each other during this hard time for everybody.

*a little note that i felt i needed to bring up: there is this weird thing of dc keeping Jay out of the family while at the same time “forcing him there”… like for example, in Pennyworth RIP, Jason wasn’t invited to Alfred’s service and there is a scene with the photo of the “main Batfam” (aka Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Barbara, Tim and Damian) in the Batcave, but as you already noticed, Jason is not there… and look, i know that despite working together from time to time, that they still have a rocky relationship, but you would think they would have at least a current photo with Jason included, also with Cass and Duke, WHY THE FUCK WERE THEY LEFT OUT?? They are part of the family too,,, i hate dc so much for this… like you either DO the Batfam thing and commit to it or you DON’T!!! STOP SHOVING IT EVERYWHERE ONLY TO LEAVE OUT THE CHARACTERS YOU SEEMLY DON’T CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT!!!

Batman: Urban Legends (2021) #1-6: in the story titled Cheer, there is a new drug in Gotham that holds people in a "happy memory hallucination/coma", which puts a lot of people in danger being that most of them just walk around the city without being aware of their surroundings. Both Batman and Red Hood are on the case without being aware the other is also dealing with this. And in this story is where Jay stumbles upon a kid named Tyler whose mom is in a coma because of the happy drug and whose dad is absent (being basically the same situation Jason lived as a child). Jay tracks down Tyler's dad, taking the kid with him (and Tyler even calls himself Blue Hood in order to feel safe when Jay goes to get his dad, it's so cute)... only for Jay to find out that Tyler's dad works as a crook and that he doesn't care at all about his wife and son, and intentionally tried to drug them to leave him alone because they "were annoying" (sheesh, like Jay's dad was shitty too, but at least he did care about his son and wife to an extent..). The important part here is that Jason feels guilty for probably making Tyler an orphan (thou his mom lives at the end of the story, and the kid is so precious when he says that Red Hood is his hero), and the parallels that are made between them and between the current situation and Bruce and Jason's relationship from when he was Robin, being that that last parallel is done when, even if Bruce and Jason start working together and Batman overlooks Jay killing Tyler's father (which was me a little "???" considering that before he made such a big of a deal to the point of "kicking" (i mean kinda simultaneously metaphorically, literally and physically... like damn 0_0) Jason out of the Batfamily for "killing" Penguin.. i am confusion. This is a case of dc writing being dc writing, isn't it? I mean, it is because Bruce can "see more clearly" Jason's personal reasons for it, but Bruce also just stops in the middle of punching Jason because Tyler appears and asks Batman to stop because he is good... but... Jay had personal reasons to get at Penguin too... so ya.. idk,,, for not saying that Bruce beat up Jason because of Penguin like really really bad... the boy couldn't even shot straight anymore after that beating). Anyways, they still argue and fall apart because of their different approaches to this case and they separate, leaving Jay to go alone after Freeze, which kinda mirrors Jay being left alone in A Death in the Family. But anyways, at the end, after Batman saves Red Hood and Red Hood returns the favour, they make up, and Bruce gives Jay back his previous Red Hood suit with the red bat symbol on, even if they still parted ways as usual. Also, this story shows the desire that both Jay and Bruce have for their family to be united and happy. Though, an issue that i and others have with this story is the way they portray Robin Jason as actually considering murder when going after some crook, which ya... (way to ruin a pretty good story),,, also, too much “Batfamily fluff” on this one,, like i want some of them to get along and stuff,, but why did they have to have Jay dress like Batman and have the Batfam appear just to save Bruce, like Jay could have done that on his own just fine,,, also his mask failed protecting him from the Cheer drug gas… like,, tf?? Like,, i am not saying it can’t happen, just that his mask was taken out too easily… also, Jason’s “perfect dream life/family” or whatever was weird because he apparently wanted for Bruce to “kill every criminal in Gotham and leave Batman behind for good”,, like,, dude,,, Jay only wanted Bruce to kill Joker… because ya know “just him, and doing it because… because he took me away from you…”. So ya… i liked the story, but maybe it would have been better if it focused more on Jason helping Tyler and the other Cheer drug victims on his own than making it “the Batfam fest with Jason’s daddy Bats issues” …

Task Force Z: so... Task Force Z is introduced in Detective Comics (2016), when Jason gets tricked and captured by the government to make part of a (well obviously...lol) task force that is literally called Task Force Zombie (very funny), that is composed of other criminals that also died and were brought back to life. Then the story continues in its own book Task Force Z (2021). So, turns out that a shady "governmental" organization is producing and experimenting a drug called the Lazarus Resin that they use to bring dead criminals back to life as zombies (which includes Bane, Man Bat, Arkham Knight and Deadshot) and they chose Jason to be the leader of this team (thou he is still alive and this organization intends to keep him as that, because they need someone in complete control of themselves to lead the team),, and Jay doesn't like it one bit for various reasons, such as: having to make sure they do not kill or eat anyone (and with Man Bat and Bane it is kinda hard to do so), having to "look out for Bane" when at this time Bane had killed Alfred (so ya... thought later it is revealed that that was not the real Bane), risking himself getting eaten by his teammates, and dealing with a very controlling new "boss". In this story, Jason reflects on the idea of "deserving a second chance to do good" when it comes to the criminals he is working with and about himself, and he is kinda more like a babysitter of the group than anything, lol. And then he manipulates Crispin (his boss that is actually revealed to be Two-Face) into thinking that they manipulated him into serving them and into working with the undead (i guess i can call them that) villains with a higher Lazarus Resin dose… only for Jay to use that to his advantage and takes revenge by pushing Bane of a building after he regained some of his “alive state” and memories. Then, some things happen and the Task Force pretty much goes to shit (sorry i am going to go into many details). But one important moment was that, well, even in this story, Jason and Bruce are working together, but Bruce doesn’t like that Jason is getting so involved with the criminals of the Task Force, and he tried to pull Jason out of the mission many times, but Jay refuses and wants to finish it, especially considering how deep he already is in this situation. Then, there comes a confrontation, that is pretty great, where Jason gets fed up with Batman’s mistrust in him and Jay tells him this:

J: You started this. And I’m seeing it through.

B: I’m sorry I sent you into this before, but I need you to think real hard about what you’re doing now. This isn’t what either of us wanted. You’re following really bad men down a very bad path.

J: My path to walk.

B: Not in my city, it isn’t.

J: It’s my city too. You always forget that. You aren’t the only person from here. You aren’t the only one who got hurt here. And you aren’t the only one who wants to save it. I’m not your responsibility anymore.

B: No, Jason. You’re my fault. I trained you. I gave you the tools to do this. And I let them be used this way.

J: Why can’t you say it?! I’m not something you built. I’m not a weapon. You raised me. You were a father to me. And you brought me into this world of yours and all I got was pain, and death, and the constant reminders that I will never measure up to you or to Dick. And I know that. I made mistakes because I was scared, and I was angry, and I was hurt. You know why? Because the man who raised me wasn’t there when I needed him. But I’m trying here. So now I’m trying to make right what I’ve on my own and I just need him to trust me. Can’t you just trust me here?

- Task Force Z (2021) #6

Now, some things about this exchange: well, as most dc fans know this is not the first or the best argument between Jason and Bruce, especially because this isn’t the main focus of this story. But i still think it is a pretty good summary of the issue (or one of) with the relationship between these two. Because like Jason says, Bruce is “selfish” (i guess i can put it like that) in the sense that he only sees his way as the only way to help Gotham City, or like he always says, “his city”, and never seems to consider that this is other people’s city too and that there are other people that care about it as much as him, despite following a different path or that follow his code/a similar code. Now, this also depends on the writer,, because it’s not like Bruce never accepted “others’ ways to do Justice in Gotham”, but, just like he did before to other characters and is now constantly doing it to Jason, he always has or expects, i guess, for the others that “do justice in his city” to still follow his code or what he considers right in a certain capacity. Another thing that Jason brings up and that he is very right about is Bruce looking at him as his mistake and as a weapon that Bruce created but then got “broken and out of his control” (i guess I can put it like that) so he needs to “get it back”, and honestly, the implication that Bruce looks at Jason (in this situation and in this never ending conflict between them, at least) as a “rogue weapon” is pretty fucked up,,, like that’s your son you are talking about… and you would think that after the Cheer story that things between them would have been “more chill” in a way but naw… (though, this obviously also relates to current writing’s problem of keeping characters into the same conflict, and with Jason and Bruce it’s getting pretty tiring to see the same argument over and over again… like ya, i did say that i liked seeing Jay tell Bruce off and move on with his mission no matter what Bruce thinks or wants, but they really need to get past this old and never ending, repetitive, argument…).

And look, i know that i took the previous argument seriously, but i failed to mention that this comic is more of a comedy (thou that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have serious moments, obviously), like the name of the Task, the characters’ dialog, etc,, and it’s pretty funny overall. Which includes an issue, that some people aka stans of other batkids, namely Tim, Dick and Cass, but mostly the Tim ones (lol; note: and i am also a Tim stan, though i don’t share this opinion), didn’t like because it wasn’t fair or realistic that Jason defeated them all “pretty easily”, i mean Jay even broke Tim’s nose with the crowbar and, after he was captured, he disappeared from under the noses of Tim and Cass… CASS… so ya, i get the sentiment, but where’s the thing:

1. This is far from the first or last time a comic favours a character winning a fight, especially when it comes to their title/main character, despite the other characters being as skilled if not more skilled than the main one… it’s Jason’s comic, so of course things will mostly go his way (plus they do this with Mr. Batsy all the damn time,, and power scaling in comics is weird anyway and also depends on who the writer wants to win, so i think it’s whatever..)

2. This fight, like mentioned before, is not that serious, AT ALL, because Jason was just stalling them and having his fun by “getting at them”, the other 3 Batkids were holding back, and Jay was too, even if he had some moments where he went a little too far, like when he broke Tim’s nose with the crowbar (also, it’s funny how when Tim says “you broke my nose!!”, Jay is like “what’s a little fight between brothers??”,, like he is so funny, lol… again to show that this fight is not that serious…)

3. I love how Jay was like “I can take on these 2” when Nightwing and Robin appeared, but the second Cass appeared he was like “well fuck i’m screwed”,, that panel is so funny!

4. Again, this fight is not that big of a deal, at all, it’s your standard “fun comic book fight” between characters that are allies, so ya

5. Plus, in the next issue Jason states, after Stephanie notes it, that he has a pretty ugly bruise on his face that was made by Cass during the fight… lol

Now, going back to the main story, Jason and Harvey work together to stop Mr. Bloom (that is a scientist and the main villain of this book). But they end up arguing because Harvey tricked Jason into believing that he was working with Bane so he could “motivate Jason to stay because of his desire for revenge”, but that wasn’t Bane, it was actually Gotham (Henry Clover Jr.), which Jason felt horrible for, obviously, after all he tried to kill an innocent man for Alfred’s death. Anyway, everything ends up blowing up, Gotham (the man) goes away with his sister, accepting his death, Jason goes away to look for Joker and Steph comes to talk to him at the airport before leaving. *note: apparently everyone knows that Jason Todd is Red Hood, because Mr. Bloom used another guy to pose as Red Hood to trick Harvey, and they find the body and learn that Jason Todd is Red Hood and it’s said on the fucking news…. Like that is so dumb,, but sure whatever,, Jason Todd is “dead to the world” anyway, lol.

But overall, this story was fun and it gave some good insight on Jason and how he is and feels, i like that Gotham and Harvey call him out on “being a man motivated by revenge”, and Jason always trying his best at doing good, even if most things don’t go in the “good route” for him.

Nightwing Annual (2021): so, this is the type of story that goes more to fluffy territory with Nightwing and Red Hood. The story starts with Red Hood being framed by Clayface (the one not working with Batman Inc.,, ya there are 2 Clayfaces, moving on..) so a drug dealer that Jason was looking for could escape. Dick, when he sees this, obviously, is worried that “Jason went back to killing people”, and goes to find Jason. He finds him and Nightwing tells Jay immediately that he believes him to be innocent, and then they go to catch Clayface together. Jason is very invested in catching this drug dealer because some years back he sold a drug that got a lot of people sick and/or killed, which included his mom, and Jay says that after she took that, it was the first time Jason had to call an ambulance for her. Obviously, Jason and Dick manage to catch the guy, before getting to fly away. And there is a cute flashback of Dick visiting Robin Jason when he was benched by Bruce, and of them going on patrol together, without Bruce knowing, while taking the Batmobile, which was funny. And that parallels current events where they take the Batmobile again to get after the drug dealer, and Jason drives the Batmobile into the plane to stop it from flying, lmao.

Okay… this is a funny issue to read, if you ignore the problems it was, as usual. First, i mean, i don’t mind and i like some fluffy moments between characters from the Batfam, and i like seeing Jay getting along with some of the Bats and having relationships with other Bat members besides Bruce. So here, i guess it’s more of a question of personal preference, which fine some people (like me) like/love it, some people don’t… though, there is still the feeling of “there is something missing so it makes sense that these characters got to a better relationship and understanding between each other”, so ya. Another issue, is there being a “big effort” on dc’s part now on painting Dick as a good brother to Jason, both as Robin and Red Hood, and like i am not saying Dick was a horrible brother to Robin Jason, but he was mostly a non-present one because he wanted to do his thing away from Bruce and because he and Bruce were still “at odds” with each other at that time. So, it’s a little too much of “trying to paint Dick as the perfect guy” sort of thing. And, like usual with Rebirth, Jay says that “it is more satisfying to see their freedom and rights being taken away” when they give the drug dealer to the police… which yikes… sorry, but Jason doesn’t trust the system,, or he isn’t supposed to, plus this is Gotham we are talking about, no matter how many “good changes” are made in it, crime and criminals are always “going to thrive”. So, it’s a little disappointing. Like, i get that Jay is supposed to be on the side of the Bats now/working with them,, but that doesn’t mean he was to agree with or trust the same system that fails it’s city pretty much everyday… like he doesn’t necessarily need to protest it or kill the guy, or whatever, because that’s not Jason’s main thing here either,, but you would think that the writers would stop with this “Jason prefers to bring criminals to justice now, even if that justice system still was a lot of big flaws”. Like, i am not saying Jason never had this mentality before, again as a reminder, he did this as Robin with Two Face (in Post-crisis),, but it still feels wrong when Red Hood Jason does it… idk, maybe it’s just me… Also,, Dick saying to Jason that he is proud of him for giving up his guns…which is something… i find it kinda dumb to be honest…

Okay, so, with that last bit “said”, let’s go “talk” about Jason’s weapons… I have seen people discuss about them, and especially discussing more once he started using crowbars after being “disowned” by Bruce in RHATO (2016). And here’s the thing… he was been using them since then throughout Red Hood: Outlaw and plenty of other stories, such as we saw previously in Nightwing 2021 annual and Task Force Z, and I don’t think it’s that bad, and I am not sure about the “Jason should have a repulsion/fear of crowbars because of his trauma, so it is awful of the writers having him use them” reasoning against them, as Jay’s trauma seems to be more tied to having people he trusts and depends on failing him than the bomb or crowbars,, but, of course, they are still tied to and are a representation of his trauma. Plus, he already wears a suit and name representative of his trauma, aka those of the previous moniker of his murderer. And what’s more, it is Jason himself that says that the crowbars are not what killed him, more specifically in Task Force Z, when Tim says that “it’s too morbid even for you to use the thing that killed you as a new weapon” and Jay replies with “the crowbar didn’t kill me, it was the explosion”,, which it’s right, lol (also to point out that Jason has used explosives before just fine).

Imo, Jay using crowbars is not the worst thing,, but it’s also pretty lame. And i am not the only one that thinks this… i even saw people saying that Jason swinging 2 crowbars around while he fights crime makes him look like a “discount Nightwing”, lmao. Also, him using those crowbars undermines his fighting style in a way, and makes the writers ignore the many talents Jason has and the many fighting techniques he knows… like when Jay got his new suit and ditched the guns, besides the crowbar, he also had a sword, which was actually pretty cool, but he didn’t use it much, and then after Cheer (me thinks) his sword just disappeared into thin air and Jay is left with 2 crowbars,, let Jason use swords and knifes more often… like why else does he have that expertise for… dc, why do you love wasting/ignoring good things… also, stop giving lame excuses for him to not have his guns back,, he used his guns non-lethally for years just fine (though he doesn’t necessarily need to have his guns back,, and there is also a discussion to be had of either or not they should still be “Jason’s signature weapon”, considering that he used them at first during his “worse time” and to get at Bruce, and that now he is trying to do good and/or become better, so most probably the guns need to go away, but it would work if dc actually made an arc tied to it,, but most probably we are never going to get that for Jason, so, moving on)… another thing,,, stuff like the one i mentioned in the previous topic, about Nightwing and other members of the batfam “being proud that Jay gave up on the guns”,, because somehow bashing someone’s skull in with a crowbar is better… like SuSPeNSIoN oF DiSbEliEf, anyone?? I mean, if in this Universe it is believable to have Nightwing hitting dudes (and mostly non-powered ones) anywhere with his escrima sticks without breaking bones and internal bleeding, or any beating given by the Bats is believable to “only give some small bruising” without the crooks dying, i can fucking believe that Jay can have some dumb magic bullets that don’t kill people and only put them to a short sleep or wtv… like i know they claim that Jay uses rubber bullets when working with the Bats, but if we apply real life logic to it (like most people tend to do whenever it comes to Jay for some reason..), people can die because of those too,,, sooo…. Again, if Nightwing and Batman can punch crooks in the head without them dying or going into a coma, then Hood can continue to shoot them without killing just fine!!!

Also, the sword and knifes not being given to Jason thing might be because dc uses specific weapons to differentiate each Robin, and ya know, the “original sword Robin” is Damian… but then again: “DiScOuNT NiGHtwINg WiTH CroWBaRs”… like, dc does realize that they can have characters in the same “hero fam” with similar abilities and “trademark weapons” if it works for the character in question, right?? Or, at least they should… also, 2 batboys, in this case Jason and Damian, having similar fighting styles/techniques/weapons usage/mastery makes sense because they were both trained in the League of Assassins and there are many parallels between them, also, for obvious reasons, such as different training, the difference in age, different experience, expectations from others and even more obviously, their body sizes/flexibility/other physical attributes, their fighting techniques are very different, so there are obvious and easy ways to differentiate the 2, including but not limited to giving them different types of swords and sword fighting techniques that fit with their characters!!!! Also those UNDERUTILIZED and UNDERDEVOLPED All Caste Swords!! Way to waste a pretty good concept… (sorry about the sword rant… but dc is just so fucking tiring with dumb stuff like this… give my boy some proper weapons!!! Or at the very least give him his guns back if you aren’t gonna do anything interesting by taking them away). But then again, this is a big problem that modern dc has when it comes to Jason’s character, also Stephanie’s, where they make them “the dumb Bats” by ignoring the many abilities and knowledge they have, and that they used before plenty of times, not just in fighting, but also intellectually. (*cough* classism *cough*)

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Willis and Catherine Todd:

I am going to have to be honest, i wasn’t really sure where to fit this topic in this post, so I decided to leave it at the end of both parts so i can talk in a broader view about the Todds and their overall characterization, that btw, is also kinda vague throughout the different eras. So, let’s begin:

Since the very first issue Jason appears in, from Post-crisis, Jason makes it obvious that he does care about his mother and that his father is absent. He says to Bruce that his mother was sick and passed away, but avoids giving any details about his dad.

Then, more notably, in A Death in the Family it is stated that both Catherine and Willis loved Jason very much, and that Catherine died of a disease and Willis left his wife and son for crime in order to give his family a better life. Which is actually something that is supported in RHATO (2016) where they go into more detail about how Willis met Catherine when he was a drug dealer, they feel in love, Catherine was kicked out of her parents house for choosing Willis and how Willis tried “his best” when he learned he was gonna be a dad, and so he gave up on crime and got a proper job,, a low paying one, but a normal and save job. Only to have to return to crime in order to be able to pay Jason’s hospital bills when he got sick (also, not sure how Sheila fits into all of this, if at all,, but you know dc and their 10000… reboots and retcons..).

Now there come the “more controversial parts” (i suppose) about Catherine and Willis, that being Catherine being a drug addict and Willis being abusive to his family, being that it is seen in fandom as problematic for fitting into stereotypes associated with poor people (which is), and, because of how the different eras present them, there seems to be some confusion when it comes to Catherine and Willis. And that is because Jason said in his first appearances that his mom was sick, and some people took it as she having cancer (or another disease) and then there are panels and lines both from Post-crisis and Rebirth that outright state and show that she was sick because of taking drugs and no disease is mentioned, so, there is no wonder that some people seem confused about which it is (myself included, lol),,, and i also remember stumbling upon a post somewhere where it was stated that Catherine might have actually had a disease that was made worse when she started taking drugs (so ya…), though, generally, her drug dependency is the illness that she has throughout most canon (P.S. for those who don’t know in the medical field substance abuse/dependence is classified as a mental illness), though that still doesn’t take away that originally Catherine was probably supposed to just be sick, but then as time went on, the comics decided to just refer that she was a drug addict and not her being ill in another way at all. And when it comes to Willis and his abuse, i have seen people that, because of how A Death in the Family presented him, believe that perhaps Willis wasn’t actually abusive, or at least not in a physical way. But then in the New-52 and Rebirth there are some issues that imply or outright state and show through lines of dialog and drawn panels that Willis has physically abusive.

Now, after saying all of that, and sorry if it only helped make things more confusing, i think that a possible interpretation of Jason’s parents and how he feels about them can be the following:

The Todds where a family that clearly loved and cared about each other, but due to their difficult circumstances they ended up hurting their son and leaving him to fend on his own. Willis did everything we could to help his family, but he also failed to realize how badly him leaving his family behind would affect them, and especially his wife, that turned to substance abuse to deal with their situation and with feeling abandoned by Willis, which is in itself neglect on Willis’s part of his wife and son, that needed him to be more present. Obviously, because of this, Jason blamed Willis for his mother’s worsening condition and for being left to take care of her on his own as a child. There were instances,, as Jason says in Red Hood/Arsenal (2015) #11,, when his father would return home and beat his mother because she wasted money on cigarettes, and there are also some panels in RHATO (2016) where it is shown and said by Jason that when his dad was home his parents used to fight most of the time.

When it comes to how Jason views and feels about them, it is shown that Jay loves Catherine very much and she was a good mother to him until she got consumed by her addiction, after that Jason was very protective and even defensive of his mother, considering that after she died, Jason only talks positively about her, being that (perhaps) he says to Bruce that she was sick as a way to “protect and respect her image” to others when talking about her, or just that he didn’t want to give too many details about his mom to a stranger he just met (lol), and he is often shown to always keep a picture of Catherine with him. When it comes to Willis, Jason seems to have a “mixed bag of feelings” for obvious reasons,, as that there is no doubt that Jason blames Willis’s choices and actions towards his mother for how things turned out, but at the same time, Jason still has some love left for his messed-up absent and sometimes abusive dad, as he shows when he learns about Willis’s death in his Robin days and wants to revenge him by going after Two-Face, in the New-52, when he is tricked by the Joker to believe that he somehow brought back to life and captured his dad (alongside Tim’s), Jason, despite knowing it must be a trap, still doesn’t take the chance that he might let his (somehow possibly resurrected) dad die again, and finally, in Rebirth, Jason outright shoots Penguin in the face on live television, while working with Bruce, when he finds out that his dad used to work for him and that Penguin left him behind to be captured by the Police, put in prison and being left to die there.

Now, obviously, as i mentioned plenty of times before, this might be just one way to look at Willis and Catherine (aka being just my interpretation), though one thing that is clear is that Catherine was a good mom to Jason and that he loves her very much and that she died when he was left alone with her, and that Willis was indeed abusive, despite loving his family. Which are factors that make part of Jason’s trauma and that make him “act out” as Robin and Red Hood, especially when dealing with cases that are similar to his childhood situation, that being of men abusing women and/or children (this is also why i, personally, don��t see as being “out of character” that he killed Tyler’s dad in “the heat of the moment” in Urban Legends, as i saw some people criticize the story about this in the sense that “Jason is not that incompetent to just let himself do that”,, when in most instances where he kills, especially in Lost Days, he kills people that are actively warming children and women, which relates to his own traumatic experience and his empathy for the victims of these horrible people,, though at the same time i can see why this is a critique because it is another example of dc undermining Jason’s ability to “control himself” when emotional).

Though, when it comes to the Todds and what i added at the end of the previous paragraph has some problematic implications in terms of being classist. Because like i pointed out before, Willis started as a father that was absent because he had basically no other choice, in order to try to give a better life to his family, to being depicted as abusive in everything else (though, like i said before, neglect is also a form of abuse, but i am saying this more to refer that he is now portrayed as having been physically abusive, to Catherine at least, and in the New-52 there were even some indications that he might have also consumed alcohol when at home, but that seems to not be a constant throughout the rest besides the New-52 that makes some references to it through panels, so ya), Catherine is the “poor addict” stereotype and they mostly keep her as that, but later add her being abused by her husband (or at least that they used to fight a lot, and sometimes to the point it got physical) and completely ignore her being sick, and Jason started out as a sweet, kind and caring kid, despite all of his hardships, to then being painted as “the bad apple”, the one that is “destined to follow the cycle of violence he was born in”, and i am not just talking about Red Hood Jason, because they started doing that to Robin Jay before he died, and then made it even worse as they tried to explore Jason’s Robin years in recent comics.

Also, a little note: isn’t it weird how much dc disconnects Jason from other characters, like people that he knew from growing up in Crime Alley, maybe except Ma Gunn sometimes (which is something), not properly making part of the Titans or having his own friends and team as a kid, having both versions of the Outlaws being taken away from him and/or separate even after they reunite, and in not letting Jay develop a deeper relationship with his siblings/other members of the Batfam (or at least with one of them,, and without constantly being the “i am making sure you don’t kill anymore or i am just worrying about you now because you had an angry outburst” thing)… but Bruce is always the fucking constant for Jason everywhere!!! Let this boy have other relationships that are more important and that give more validity to his origins and how he is!! Like damn, we are in 2023 dc, how about you move on from this bullshit already!!! So ya,, this is why we cannot have nice things, but considering what this post is supposed to be i need to talk both about the good and the bad.

Also, and very important: Jason’s anger as Robin

As most people know,,, dc fans, or mostly Jason Todd fans,, are tired of criticising dc for depicting Jason as more violent and angry as Robin in Rebirth,, when originally Jason was depicted as a Robin that was generally very sweet, that completed his duties, and cared about people and justice,, but that still could be reckless and impulsive at times, but more in the sense of “i wanna save people as much and as quick as possible” than because of anger. And that when he was angry, or acting out in anger, it was in understandable situations (which weren’t that many anyway). But our dear writers of Rebirth, whenever they bring up Robin Jason, in dialogs, flashback scenes, etc.,, never miss a beat to NEVER “SHUT UP” ABOUT HOW ANGRY JASON ALWAYS WAS!!! AND IT’S SO ANNOYING…. Now, i get that this can just be put in the “dc is being classist again” towards Jason box, but aside from that, it is also that, well, the problem isn’t Rebirth making more “developed” depictions of Robin Jason or of his “angry moments”,, it is them just showing and focussing on those and only those most of the time… which gives the impression that Jay was nothing more than “anger 24/7, 7 days a week, every month of the year, for the rest of his short life in the green scaly shorts” and never bring up anything else about other Robin Jason’s attributes… which is very tiring at this point!!!

End of the Rebirth part.

Jason Todd: Post-crisis, Rebirth and fandom (some more general final thoughts):

Now that i ended the part of presenting and discussing some of Jason's stories/moments, i want to make it clear (and this might be a little bit obvious in how i wrote my points in each section of Post-crisis and Rebirth) that i am mostly biased towards the Rebirth stories (or at least the concepts they bring up in some cases) and that i prefer Jason to be more of a "grey-area" hero or anti-hero than a villain (which also includes the stories of Lost Days and UTRH, even if in those 2 Jay might be seen as inclined more to the "villain side" by dc and Batman’s standards). And this is not me saying Rebirth's writing is perfect or necessarily better than Post-crisis, just that i prefer its direction over the other. Plus, both have their respective problems (some of which i pointed out previously), such as in Post-crisis the writers' disregard for Jason's pain to an extent, putting all the blame on him for dying and the classist and sexist tones present in the writing and later writers making him into a full villain and trying a half-assed attempt to redeem him after all of that, only for him to return as a villain again by the end of Post-crisis. And in Rebirth they continue the classist tone and have developed a problem of keeping characters learning the same lesson over and over again through similar situations, and in some stories, they seem to be focusing too much on fluff without properly addressing what should be addressed, especially with the relationship between Jason and Bruce,, and the constant one-sided and annoying take that “Jason was to learn a lesson in not being himself” while with the Batfam or something along those lines. And all of this shit because, to be real, Jason's writing is pretty inconsistent, like ya there is some consistency, such as with Jay's desire to have someone by his side both in Post-crisis and Rebirth, even if in the first one he is more “deranged” about it than the latter. But what matters is that Jay consistently wants someone to consider family that loves him and are there for him, and that he loves back.

And to add to the writing problems, in Post-crisis there were a lot of things that were ignored, that if followed up could've made for some awesome stories and character development for Jason... but naw, DC was like "let's have him as either a total villain or an anti-hero that sometimes gives a hand to the heroes", like we are riding in a roller coaster. And Rebirth is like: "let's make his backstory worse so we can justify his evil anger and killing urges" or some shit. Plus, this last one just ends up destroying the tragedy that comes from the contrast of Jay being a good and innocent kid to returning as such a broken and violent man after his death. But hey, at least Rebirth still tries to paint him as an anti-hero more than a villain. But i also think that in order for Jay to "become better" or have better stories in Rebirth, the writers need to let him get out of the Shadow of the Bat. Like, is it too much to ask to let Jason do his own thing without always being tied to Bruce, i mean ya, they can and should have their emotional and messy moments because they still love each other, but cannot look past their different ideologies and methods, and their past hurt. And i think that, if you don't want them to fight or be at odds all the time, then keep Jason away from the Batfam and let him build his own family with Artemis and Bizarro or/and Starfire and Arsenal, or whoever else... but not Bruce, with him things are always gonna be complicated (which also makes their relationship so interesting in the first place; also why does Jason's character have to be the one/the only one to significantly change for this relationship to work... like?? Dc your bias, like usual, is showing). Also, DC, please stop making all the other members of the Batfam (except Bruce), whenever they come across Jason or have to work with Jay, be this broken record of “I am proud of you Jason because you don’t have your guns anymore/don’t kill/whatever else…”, it’s just so weird… like, how about actually exploring and developing their relationships outside of “we are in this together because of our association with Bruce” and “I only work with you if you don’t kill” or even worse “I only work with you in order to keep an eye on you”. Like, it’s some more genuine relationships between the characters (either in a positive or negative light) between Jason and other Batfam members too much to ask for??

Going to the fandom side of things, i kinda agree with the sentiment that some DC fans have about missing when characters were “more allowed to be assholes to one another without immediately making up” because it could make some conflicts more interesting and actually funny in some cases (aka having more ongoing tensions and conflicts). Though, while the main appeal of the Batfam is how messy they are as individuals and as a dysfunctional family with all of their conflicts (because they are all assholes in their own special way,, also they all have trauma..), i also agree that some of them (especially Jason) should be allowed to form new close bonds with other members that are more positive than negative... also, just because they would start to get along that shouldn't or doesn't stop them of still being assholes to one another, only that in this new setting it is being an asshole in more a "endearing way" to your "new family member". But ya, overall i still agree that DC and fanon should stop trying to fit the Batfam and/or the Waynes into a more traditional family structure because it doesn't work and takes away one of the things that makes them more interesting as a family (whatever kind of family they are, lol). Plus, dc already has other families that fit the “fluffier and more wholesome” type, such as the Flashfamily and the Superfamily. Though, if you really want it with the Batfam, Wayne Family Adventures is right there on Webtoon (i enjoy it too, lol).

Also, i wanna say something that i observed about some of the headcanons that are popular in fandom, such as the "Lazarus Pit Madness", is that, well, not all of them come from fandom only... some of them, like the one mentioned previously, actually come from some ideas that writers put forward in dc comics and other canon material (such tv shows and animated movies/series), like for example, it is present in Arrow (and this show was the intro into DC to a lot of people) and the UTRH animated movie (that is the first encounter a lot of people had with Jason's character) makes allusions to it as well, with the line from Jason of “Oh, you got to talking with Ra's, huh? Does it make it easier for you to think that my dip in his fountain of youth turned me rabid? Or is this just the real me?”. For not saying that in comics, throughout the different eras,, what the Lazarus Pit does to people was often changed depending on what the writers or DC higher ups want to happen in a certain story, for example there are stories like Lost Days and UTRH that claim that it only restores the mind and heals wounds, and then you have other stories where the characters are brought back to life by it, like in Task Force Z... so ya. Why can't dc keep a minimum of consistency? Like, really? But wtv... dc being themselves as usual (or just generally comics being comics with all their long continuity and changes that come from personal desires of the writers and/or their superiors, either they make sense for the characters and their stories or, mostly, not).. So with all of this, i think the "knowing canon" side of the fandom also needs to cut some slack to the fans that experience the DC universe mostly through knowledge from other sources and headcanons, or that choose to look at things with one interpretation in mind (i do this too guys.. i mean, i just did it above when talking about the Lazarus Pit side effects in the Lost Days section, though, in that story, the effects of the pit aren't really "that big of a deal" when it comes to how it affects Jason's actions and choices, as i tried to explain before). Though, there is still a problem of some people in the "headcanons side" that have a tendency to flanderize the characters with one single trait, either it comes from character stereotypes or from a very limited sample of canon (such as basing the characters in some out of context panels circulating around the internet or out of context information such as when people only read/hear that "Dick put Jason in Arkham" or worse with the whole "who is the true angry Robin" thing, where people in some circles seem to only be talking about Dick's anger and that he is the angry Robin now instead of Jason and/or Damian, i am like: can't this cycle ever end?! these characters have more to them than being the "angry Robin" or "intelligent Robin" or "violent Robin", etc. going on for them, like seriously?? I mean, i think this also comes from some people having the need to put every character into a neat box that defines them, like they do when they try to put the Waynes in the traditional family, but, i am sorry to say that this just doesn't work, and i am tired of seeing it everywhere and now being forced in canon).

But the main point i want to make about headcanons and fanfic is: they are awesome! Like,, i know that all i did until now is complain about some of it, but for the most part what fanon creates can actually be pretty cool and sweet, and it’s an awesome way for people in fandom to interact through their favourite fictional media. And as i expressed before, my problem is not fanon as a whole, at all actually, my problem is with this tendency that can seem too much sometimes, of some fanon reducing the characters to only 1 trait… like you wanna write fluff with the mess that is the Batfam? Go for it!! i and any other person are not gonna stop you, lol (that would be ridiculous),, but i still think it would be cool if you took some parts of actual canon and incorporated into it,, like there isn’t even the need to read the source material if you don’t want to, there are plenty of posts online and videos that can give a better idea of the characters’ main traits and that you can fit into your story. The problem comes more when it becomes obvious that the way the characters are written comes too out of field with their base characterization, and as you saw that i complained about previously, this is not just a fanon problem, it is a canon problem as well… I mean, I am actually more pissed at dc’s writers not consulting the original material of the characters they are writing, like that should be an actual crime!!! (okay, i am joking on the last bit, but i still think it’s atrocious what some writers do or did to some characters in canon, and there are even some, when interviewed, that admit that they didn’t even touch the source/first material done by the characters’ creators or just previous stories, and that they only cared about writing the story they wanted, no matter what came before…. which is soooo annoying!! Also, keeping some fucking consistency!! Like, why is it so hard?? Can’t they do some character and intrinsic dc universe rules charts with the main stuff about them that needs to be kept consistent?? But, even if they actually have those, there is also the problem of the writers own personal biases when writing the stories,, so ya, i feel like this is just gonna be a never ending issue with comics, lol). Simply put,, i don’t blame fanon for their headcanons when professional writers do this and the canon seems very confusing, especially to a new reader/fan,,, also, you know, with favouritism on the part of the creators themselves, sometimes there can be some less than desirable interpretations of the characters, so like i pointed out in the Jason’s villain era section, sometimes writers just do shit for the sake of doing it, either it makes sense or not… like, i think that, besides the “villain era”, the biggest example of this with Jason is found in his Robin time where the first writers of Jason (like Max Collins and Jo Duffy for example) wrote Jason as a sweet, intelligent and skilled kid that loves to learn and help people, and then Jim Starlin came around and was like “i wanna get rid of this kid so i am gonna make him impatient and aggressive, and full of anger so i have a good reason to kill him”… so there is that… (thou, i gotta add that i don’t understand how some people “get into” the comics (either dc or marvel) fandom and don’t even bother to look up 1 single comic/character guide/other source material about their fave/the one that they claim to be their fave,,, like you either a fan or not?? – this type of people are so frustrating,, like you already have long time fans that did the work for you with 1000000…. character guides and reading recommendations lists by character and with links to buy or read freely online,, and these people choose to do this, like??? What’s the point then?? Really, what is the POINT?! – sorry got carried away..).

Anyways, about this whole discourse of canon VS fanon in Fandom, i think that there needs to be more of a balance where people obviously can have a preference for either one or the other, but at the same time there needs to be some accordance about what we are talking about,, because if there isn’t any intersection then are we really talking about the same characters? – So, headcanons need to have some canon basis, and the people that do what I described in the previous paragraph need to question themselves if they really like or care about the character/fandom in the first place… that’s basically one of the main points of all of this mess I just wrote…

And to finish, i am going for a point about Jason specifically (this post is mainly about him after all, lol) that i think kinda goes for both canon and fanon,, which is about Jason’s killing and how “it should be interpreted” in a way (again,, reminder that this might just be my interpretation, but it is one that i find more “logical” in this case, and i am not the only one that mentioned this, obviously): i believe that Jason shouldn’t be looked at through the lens of that “he supports the death penalty”, actually, aside from the “perhaps UTRH making part of the anti-drug propaganda” (more or less, I guess), Jason has no character ties to the justice system or the death penalty besides the “system failed me and is continuously falling others as well so i am taking matters into my own hands”, so it should be more “Jason doesn’t agree with and doesn’t trust the system in any way”. And also because, like i pointed out before, when Jason kills, he kills out of empathy for the people that suffered at the hands of criminals, that more often than not seem to always have a way to escape punishment and to continue to go out and torment others,, this is Jason’s “main thing”, it’s more grounded, more related directly to the people, on the small scale, on the streets. He is a man of immediate action, not of believing or waiting for things to “get better on it’s own or that every single horrible person can change for the better”, sometimes horrible people don’t change, cannot change, do not want to change, because they enjoy the chaos and the pain and harm they inflict on to others, so that is why his philosophy of “killing some criminals” is an emotional and rightful response to the injustice that the ordinary people on the streets face every day surrounded by criminals and ineffective, inequal and uncaring systems, which let them continue to live in constant fear and neglect, just like Jason was in that position as a poor kid on the streets taking care of himself and his sick mother on his own.

Also, one more thing about which perspectives people choose to look at Jason’s methods: something that i keep seeing is that people often discuss Jason’s methods either in comparison to Bruce’s, aka in universe “general hero morality”, (which is a Wastonian perspective), which often also ignores Jason’s good points in the situations presented, i mean it’s not a problem if you desire to discuss or support Bruce’s side more than Jason’s, but it often misses a balance, and there is also a discussion to be had about dc’s canon often giving more privilege to Bruce’s perspective than that of other characters, especially if those are from the Batfamily or operating in Gotham,, or people discussing them in comparison to their personal/real life ethics (which is a Doylist perspective), and i want to make it clear that, obviously, everyone is allowed to discuss Jason and his methods in any of these perspectives. The problem arrives when people do a mixture of both, usually in the detriment of Jason (or the character they are against),,, and what do i mean by this,, for example, like i said before, Jason is often criticized for his methods/philosophy based on real world ethics, aka it is wrong to take someone’s life, and without any jurisdiction, even if they are a horrible criminal, but at the same time this same people (thou it might not be always the case, but there are enough people still doing this…) will justify/support Bruce’s side because “he doesn’t kill people and works with the legal forces, aka GCPD (mostly Commissioner Gordon, though), and he was strong moral code”. But this, in insight, is a wrong way to look at it because this is looking at the characters from 2 different perspectives, because this argument is supporting Bruce’s side based on in-universe reasons, aka Bruce’s moral code and his alliances to other characters that are stated to be on the side of good in the text. But if we were to put a Doylist perspective on Batman’s methods, like we did previously with Jason, we have to say that everything he does is illegal and morally wrong, considering that he is breaking a lot of laws (which he does by committing the following crimes: physical assault, enacting justice without jurisdiction, possession of dangerous and illegal weapons, child endangerment, attempted murder, building the Batcave and his vehicles without permits, trespassing, breaking and entering, tampering with evidence, and etc. etc.) and also that in the real world if Batman were to fight people like he does in the comics most people would end up in the hospital or even dead, and Gordon would have been seen as complicit in Batman’s crimes for working with him, also most people would probably think “who tf does this guy think he is passing judgment on people like that” aka how is he morally above everyone else to think that what he is doing is “the right thing” for everyone in his city… Another example of this, is the over talked about Titans Tower fight where people see the horrible beating Jason gave Tim, but then, instead of knowing/recognising/saying in the same discussion that Tim obviously wasn’t that shaken by it in canon, they turn the other way around and portray Tim as being traumatized by this event or even that it was the worst thing that happened to him, when that is really not the case in the text and is just how people think he should feel based on their own real life perspective. So ya, just saying that some consistency in the perspective taken in this type of discussions is important.

And so, we move on to the END...Finally, after 34 pages!!!!

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Conclusion (i guess):

Jason Todd is a very complicated character, both for some good and for some outright awful reasons. He walks a grey line, and should be allowed to walk it without being constantly shadowed and undermined by dc’s (or Batman’s) overall morality. He deserves to be taken seriously, he deserves to make it on his own without Batman or the Batfam, and deserves to make his justice in his own way. And that dc should drop the classism already and let other characters besides mister Bat be right more often!!

When it comes to fandom, I wish that people would start looking more at Jay in the many facets he has as a character before making certain claims or look at their claims better before posting them (i also messed with this post, for example, lol), though part of the problem in this never ending discourse is also people, myself included, making the mistake of not specifying what phase of Jason's character we are talking about in our posts about him, because as we saw before, Jay is a very inconsistent character in canon, and that goes through a lot of drastic changes. But that still doesn't throw away the fact that he is more than the one-dimensional box a lot of people want to put him in (and this applies to any other dc character really). And i am afraid that the reality is that we cannot just ignore or outright erase or put under the category of "bad writing" everything from canon that we don't like, especially if we wanna have "serious discussions" about the characters. And yes, we can and should criticise the writing being inconsistent and call out the -isms mentioned in my introduction, but we cannot pretend that what makes part of the character's canon doesn't exist, that's just erasing a big chunk of the character (especially in Jason's case) and it just ends up making him into a totally different character than the one he truly is, either we try to erase his "bad days" or his recent "redemption/anti-hero days". Though again, having and making up headcanons is totally fine and valid, just make sure you are actually enjoying the “true character” to an extent and not a totally different one that can be found somewhere else. Look out for things you truly enjoy!!

Also, i have to point out this post to which i agree so much, like it's so weird that people to this day cannot have a "normal and civil" discussion about Jason and his methods. And I do love reading meta posts about his character, about his morals, his tragedy and his relationships, and headcanon posts where and there.. but i think that stuff like this shouldn't be this controversial in fandom. And ya know, liking Jay doesn't automatically mean you believe or have to believe and agree to all he does, sometimes you can just like and enjoy stories about a character that did messed-up things, and that is ok. Again,, i emphasize that, people's favourite media and, in this case, favourite character, don't define people's beliefs and morality, people can enjoy a "messed-up character" and their story without somehow being defined by it or agreeing to it, OKAY?? Like, this shouldn't be so hard to understand at this point. So, there is no need to "villainize" people because of their fave or for the people on the other side to "sanitize" their fave, this is not a morality defining thing, it's just having fun exploring a character that is more complex than "he is always a perfect angel that did no wrong" or "because of his wrongs he will always be evil", okay? Okay, because i dragged this part too much already, but oh boy, is it something that also doesn't go away and annoys me to the moon and back!

But anyways, i still think it is important to acknowledge his bad deeds as they are without always trying to excuse them all the time,, i mean, those are what makes his later development and redemption be so great and, you know, exist in the first place, lol (even if dc didn't actually make the effort to properly show Jason develop from one to the other, ufff), also, don't forget to specify which characterization of Jason you are talking about, because if not that always ends up in a "bad way". And while, obviously, it is okay to talk/write about his "bad/villain days", try not to forget that he moved on from that quite a long time ago and that there is more to Jason than his first years as the Red Hood, like a lot more, both coming from before and after those stories..

And that is that Jason Todd is a guy that cares and loves very much, and has a deep desire to have it for himself, especially through family. And that prefers to use more lethal methods sometimes, can also be an ass and he doesn't need to follow his dad's code in order to be a "good guy/hero/anti-hero". Or i guess it can be said that he is just a guy with a good heart accompanied by some lethal methods (though he doesn't need to use them or be defined by them all the time either and, also, his morals and beliefs shouldn’t always be seen through the lens of real life morality or other characters morality,, more notably Batman’s).

Though, i also feel that Jason’s main problem when it comes to his methods in nowadays’ canon is not if “he kills or not” or “should he kill or not” (even if i mostly only focussed in this throughout this post), as the problem is more Jay being forced into the “Batfam Box”, that seems to do nothing but a disservice to the character, and, imo, a more compelling direction to his character would have been if he was an anti-hero that “kept to the ground”, and that besides protecting people on the streets from criminals, either on his own or with the Outlaws (but NOT with the Batfam), that he should be some kind of “anti-superhero sidekick/children” advocate, considering how much he cares about children and how his time as a sidekick and child hero affected him,, which would make Jason an interesting antagonist to the Heroes in that way (also, a sidenote,,, people should really stop, both in canon and fanon, pushing the idea of Jason taking in children to train as heroes/anti-heroes/villains,, because i am pretty sure Jason shouldn’t want to drag more children into this dangerous mess,, like it only would work if the children were involved in it before hand, and there he would feel forced to make sure they have the needed training to survive and not kill anyone “not deserving” in the meantime, like with the children Jay trained in RHO,, but even then i am pretty sure Jason should be at least uncomfortable/“not feeling right with himself” doing it, just saying…).

Plus, to “toss a good crumb” (lol) out of all of this mess, we can always take what was written in canon and “make it better” by making “rewrites” in fanfic, but using the elements that make these characters be who they are. There needs to be some kind of balance, so we don’t end up talking about characters that aren’t actually them in the first place… (like i repeated this too many times in this post… but it needs to be somehow really kept in mind,,, i guess this can be called “one of my main thesis in here, lol).

But either way, what is important is that Jason Todd cares and wants to do good, and he should be allowed to do that with some love along the way.

So, now that all of that is over, i wanna thank all of you that went through my never-ending ramblings, because, oh boy, did this post get long! And don't forget that, like i said in the introduction, corrections and additions/other interpretations to this post are welcome!!

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Credits to the posts mentioned and linked in the text of this post:

(note to the creators: sorry for tagging you in my mess of a post but i need to give you guys proper credit, okay? Loved reading your posts!!!)

Post- crisis: Red Hood section

Judd Winick interview where he talks about Talia and Jason: Comicvine podcast: Judd Winick talks Jason Todd. It can be found on: https://fuckyeahjasontodd.tumblr.com/post/7214779500/comicvine-podcast-judd-winick-talks-jason-todd

Bruce doesn't have to kill: If someone doesn't want to kill, you can't ask, tell, or expect them to kill for you by @tate-lin

Vigilantes being judge, jury and executioner: The “vigilantes should not be judge jury and executioner” and “how do vigilantes know they’re guilty?” are two sides of the same story by @someoneimsure

Why the “Batman should just kill the Joker” argument is stupid. by @bi-honor

Jason´s development in Countdown by @yvtro / @boyfridged

DC Comics’ Portrayal of Mental Illness by @longitudinalwaveme

Rebirth section:

Jason Todd and Religious parallels by @littledead-ridinghood

Conclusion:

Fandom discussions about Jason and his methods by @adelinamoteru

Btw, the stories that i talked about in this post come from the following comics:

Pos-crisis:

Batman (1940) issues #408-429 (issues #426-429 -> Batman: A Death in the Family)

Detective Comics (1937) #568-#582

Batman (1940) Annuals #10-12

Red Hood: The Lost Days (2010)

Batman (1940) issues #635-641 & #645-650 (Under the Red Hood)

Teen Titans (2003) issue #29

Nightwing (1996) issues #118-122 (Brothers in Blood)

Green Arrow (2001) issues #69-72

Outsiders (2003) issues #44-46

Countdown (2007)

Batman: Battle for the Cowl (2009)

Batman and Robin (2009) issues #3-6; #23

The few New-52 comics i mentioned in the Rebirth section:

Batman: Death of the Family (2012) -> RHATO (2011) #15 and Teen Titans (2011) #16

Red Hood/Arsenal (2015) #11

Rebirth:

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016)

Nightwing (2016) #15

Event Leviathan (2019) #2-3

Batman: Alfred RIP (2020) #1

Batman: Urban Legends (2021) issues #1-6

Detective Comics (2016) #1041-1043 -> Prelude to Task Force Z

Task Force Z (2021)

Nightwing Annual (2021)

NOTE FOR NEW READERS (if there are any new readers that went thorugh all of that shit i wrote, lol; but i did say you could skip it for recommendations): i want to mention that in order to get into comics that (like most people tend to start reading comics, i think), instead of reading things chronologically, i think it's good advice to start with a comic that has a character/s and plotline that interests you personally rather than starting right away with a full guide since the beginning. Like, for example, if you rather read newer comics because of the art style, the writing style or any other reason, then you might start with a comic from Rebirth or the New-52, and then if you want to read more of that character move on to reading the older ones. But also, that if you start reading you don't need to go through all the previous comics or storylines, really, just pick the one you like and if there is the need to fill in the gaps just go to other sources (such posts online and YouTube videos) and get info you are missing, you don't need to read every comic book related to the character/story that you are interested in (only if you want to, lol). Though, if you feel more comfortable following a complete guide since the character's first appearance go ahead (just trying to give a little bit of advice where you might start from).

If you want a complete list of all Jason's comics i recommend this guide: https://www.tumblr.com/dailyjasontodd/685618286798454784/daily-jason-todd?source=share

(Many people probably already know about this guide, and it is one of the most complete i found... plus i think it has very few notes for how well it is done)

And if you don't have access to comics i recommend this site to read them: readcomiconline.li

(thou be warned that the ads are super annoying.. and sorry for not having a better recommendation, this is the one i use to read comics, so..)

Hope i was somehow helpful! Have a fun reading!

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Boy, did this take quite a while to make.. i am tired, but i am happy that i got to do it. Also, just a fun fact: I put this post on word so I didn’t lose it while making it and it ended up with 38 pages with 24584 words with the font size 12. This is as big as a college paper, but with swear words and some incoherent ramblings in the mix.

Also,, i think i just did a classic dc fan “30 or more pages essay rambling about their fave, and complaining about both canon and fanon”,, because apparently we cannot live without doing this at least once, lmao.

Anyways, in case you haven’t noticed,, despite all of this mess, i love Jason Todd.

Sincerely,

Bamboozledtothemoon

#jason todd #robin #robin jason todd #red hood #red hood jason todd #dc post-crisis #dc rebirth #jason todd meta #dc meta #dc critical #dc fanon #dc canon #dc #reading recommendations #alexa talks here

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trashlie · 1 year

Text

Manifesting Stalkyoo~

Just to get it out of the way: PLEASE KNOW THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN! I don’t want anyone to take this in a weird way or like it’s some ridiculous demand I’m making lmao. I’ve just been having a delightful time talking to other Stalkyoo shippers and just romanticizing silly things we want to see so again: THIS IS JUST FOR FUN! I know fandom has been weird about shipping stuff because of the... ugly past lol so I feel a weird need to remind people that my shipping is just secondary enjoyment of ILY and that I will continue to love and read ILY wherever it goes.

With that out of the way lol please also note there are spoilers all the way up to 224, so if you don’t FP episodes, this post is not safe for you! (unless you like spoilers. i don’t judge people, I like spoilers, too)

Look, I’m not good at writing fanfiction. I’d love to, but I always feel like it’s difficult for me to portray characters the way the original writer does. I think about it, every now and then, dabble in a little idea, something I might like to see, before the storyline plays out in a different way, but I just never trust myself, so this is about the closest I ever get to that. And even still, I think of these little musings, these silly little “oh I’d love to see ______” very inline with fanfiction, wherein I acknowledge that what I’m hoping for or imagining is very likely to not happen. It’s just the fun of exploring story and the what-if’s and little AU tangents where ONE little thing tweaks.

For me, the fun of shipping is just playing with those character dynamics, which is another reason fic is so difficult for me - I enjoy my pairings, my characters, within their circumstances. That’s not to say AU fics are unfathomable to me (I LOVE THEM), but more so that it’s hard to write something knowing that I don’t know everything, that quimchee will pull out a surprise and I’ll be like oh my god I should have realized! And again, I guess that’s where musing is fun. You get to play out those little what if’s for yourself, get to imagine a scenario that probably will never come to pass. That’s the fun of fic + canon, to me! Not once has quimchee done something with her characters and their story that really surprised me in an “oh i don’t like this” kind of way. I can say “Oh I’d love to see xyz scenario play out” but when instead abc plays out, I’m not mad.

I also fully admit that I tend to compartmentalize my shipping thoughts and whims separately from my general commentary, and I guess for the previously mentioned reasons: this fandom has an ugly, nasty past with shipping and even still, there are a lot of people who demand romance from ILY and don’t seem to care about the actual story at play or even weirder, seem to think that it detracts from the romance they think should be happening???? (”when is she going to choose one of the brothers it’s been so many years and episodes waaaah) And I guess, yeah, I get a little self-conscious, because (and this is feels so embarrassing to actually word) I acknowledge a lot of people read my commentary and my opinions! And I’m so happy for that, I love being so communal with everyone! But I do get worried someone is going to take something out of context and be like “omg can you believe she’s one of those weirdo romance demanders” or something lmao, hence this weird long useless diatribe. But yeah, basically, I’ve been talking with people lately and god just thinking about my shippy feels and how much I love the current story - one step forward, three steps back; the struggles to open up; the struggles to deal with feelings in the face of much heavier, scarier elements; etc. etc.

Sometimes you just wake up and you’re like: I WANNA SCREAM ABOUT STALKYOO so you do it because you have a birdbrain and you know is screaming afljkfkjafkjakfjaf LMAO

If you’re reading this, chances are you aren’t new to my blog so you’ve probably read the likes of my Foundations of Stalkyoo, Why I Ship Stalkyoo, and Further Thoughts on Stalkyoo (I just never shut up huh) posts, so I’ll try not to like, completely repeat everything but if it happens well. It can’t helped, can it? lol

Anyway something I’ve been talking and thus thinking a lot about is where we stand with Stalkyoo, now that we are getting more confirmation of actual budding feelings. I always reiterate that anything can change, but I also like to remind myself that something quimchee has said in the past (and this is loosely paraphrased) is that whenever it does come to a pairing, it will be made obvious before it gets there, because this is NOT a primarily romance-focused story which means there aren’t as many storylines that deal with just the will-they/won’t-they and the likes, and I think likewise, there won’t be a real love triangle the way most fans tend to think of them. So often a love triangle gets boiled down to someone being torn between two people for whatever reason and i just don’t get the sense we’ll be seeing that? Thus, I do feel like we might well be moving into a territory where we will see some kinds of scenes setting up, or maybe better put, enabling the possibility of a relationship between Shinae and Nol?

But first. I always say I don’t really try to predict things because I’m always proven wrong, but I still like to try for fun lol, just because that’s part of the joy of reading an on-going story, I think! I’ve waffled a lot on it, but I still feel like when we reach our big time skip (not the first one taking us to graduation, but rather the one that jumps us a few years ahead), there has to be a REASON. Narratively it’s hard to imagine what that reason might be beyond the likelihood that we’ll see our three main characters on separate paths. It’s the only thing that makes sense, because otherwise you end up with a lot of story happening off page, right? If Shinae were to go to Japan with Kousuke, we’d end up missing their reconciliation and Kousuke earning her trust (or if it were to go the opposite, becoming cold acquaintances). Thus, I think Kousuke will go to Japan, but Shinae will take Rand’s advice begrudgingly and take up Yui on her “offer, while Nol will probably go to college abroad. He wasn’t denied admission to Oxford - it’s just not guaranteed there will be a spot for him.

I know people take umbrage with the idea of Shinae taking up Yui’s offer, but hear me out. I don’t think it’s meant to turn Shinae into some kind of conniving, cunning person in the likes of Yui, as much as just introduce her to this world, give her a better understanding of how people in this society and business work and thus, start to get an idea of how Yui works. While I don’t think it’s easy to ever be one step ahead of Yui, I do think developing an understanding of her world helps to at least defend herself from Yui - start to see traps in advance and how to avoid them, find ways to evade her clutches, that kind of thing. I do think the idea of Yui holding that over Shinae’s head is terrifying and it’s feels more dangerous than going to Japan with Kousuke, BUT again, the idea is that she would become better equipped to defend herself and fight back.

Of course, I don’t think Shinae in this moment is prepared to make that choice, and it may be a choice that comes after Yujing’s big scoop is revealed. Perhaps realizing how much more dangerous and powerful Yui (and the Kims) is would make her see what Rand was trying to tell her. I think she hasn’t fully figured out just what is going on with Yui and Rand, either - why would he be pushing her against his wife? But I think the information Yujing has compiled could help her see that bigger picture. If someone like Rand has spent twenty-five years struggling in this battle with her, how could Shinae ever hope to stand against her with even less understanding, with no sense of WHO Yui is or what makes her tick.

The thing about this that I always struggle with is: how would Nol regard that? We know he feels vehemently about Alyssa idolizing Yui and taking advantage of her connection to the Hiraharas - and yet he stayed with her, knowing that she benefits from him (but that he does, as well). Would he feel the same, if he found out who was enabling Shinae to go to school? Would they talk about it, since Shinae knows how he feels about it? Would he be able to understand, when even he himself doesn’t seem to realize that his father finds himself trapped by the Hiraharas? That’s... stuff I can’t try to predict, because I think everything is possible.

I promise I’ll get to that a little more.

The narrative benefit of separating the main characters is, of course, that first off, no major development happens where we can’t watch it. Sure, they’ll go about their lives and things will happen, but I don’t expect it to be major things that would make us go WAIT WHAT?! Otherwise, what brings us back itnto the story after time passes? For a long time my idea was that they’d all go their separate ways and maybe even their relationships would be a little damaged, so that when they come back into each others’ lives, part of the story is recovering that, reconciling with the past and maybe finding new futures together.

Especially regarding Nol and Shinae, I’d wondered if we would see him leave without reconciling with his friends, and that we’d see him and Shinae meet again after some years and Shinae would have to contend with their unresolved past, with feelings she never had a chance to really identify, let alone explore, and the aching beauty of having to figure out who each other after now that they’ve grown and changed, and if there is room in each others’ lives for one another, if they fit in with who they’ve become. And don’t get me wrong - i do like that kind of bittersweet ache, haunted by the ghosts of what never came to be, having to relearn each other. But the more I’ve talked about this (especially a lot with @bittrbuttr, the more I realized that’s not exactly what I want with them.

Like, it’s good and achey, it really pulls at your heartstrings. But I think that better suits an actual romance story, where the focus of the story and plot is on those feelings and untangling them, on finding their ways back to each other. I don’t think that’s the story of ILY, though.

I keep dancing around my point and I apologize, but we all know I’m nothing if not circuitous and I promise we’ll get there!

Here’s the thing: we know that Nol and Shinae are not in the space to become romantically involved. The feelings are there. They are drawn to each other, we know Nol finds comfort and peace in Shinae and that he always struggles to really push her away. We know that Shinae cares so deeply about him that no matter how much he hurts her, she still wants to try, she still wants to be there for him. I find the hope-tinged pain of 223 really poignant in that way - she wanted to SEE HIM, in a moment that was so special, she wanted to share that joy and get a glimpse at who he REALLY is, and he was unable to do that for her. But still she hopes for the best, still she intends to keep trying, to be as persistent as he was, even if she has to find a different approach.

They are so important to each other, and I’m hoping that might be a catalyst?

I understand what Nol’s struggle is. It isn’t easy to be vulnerable, to feel weak, especially when those parts of him have been used against him the last 6 years of his life. He is full of so much self-loathing and isn’t comfortable with his own weakness and vulnerability, thus he can’t show it to Shinae, he doesn’t want her to see him like that. He’d rather let her think he just doesn’t need to see what exists between them, that he doesn’t need to see her indulging because it’s enough to just bring her joy - and that itself hurts enough! But I want him to at least be honest about it - tell her that you don’t want her to see that part of you. Will it change things? Probably not significantly, but it puts her one step closer to understanding doesn’t it?

And so the thinking is - or rather, the hope - is that maybe Nol will realize this?

We see some of it in 224. Upon Dieter’s arrival, instead of a hey welcome back or anything, it’s an immediate “Did you bump into Yoo?” and when Dieter reassures him that she’s fine, it’s just stuffy, he knows a. it’s not fine and b. he feels bad. I think he felt that regret immediately, when he noted that she’s angry and he took off the blindfold and she wasn’t there. Nol is so used to pushing people away, it’s his first line of defense, but when it works? When he succeeds at driving that wedge? Again it’s that battle of will vs want - he thinks that pushing her away is the right thing to do for her sake, but he doesn’t ACTUALLY want it.

It’s so difficult to go back to how things used to be having gotten a taste of something better. It’s so difficult to push out everyone when you’ve allowed yourself to indulge in being loved and cared about, and and I think that’s what Nol’s biggest hurdle is.

Don’t get me wrong; there’s a lot of hurdles with him lol and clearing one doesn’t exactly make the others any easier to clear. But something we’ve seen from Shinae and that I think the story has tried to impress upon is that things are easier when we aren’t alone. Burdens shared are burdens that weigh a little less. We’ve Shinae and her father talking about being a team - about sharing that burden so it’s not so hard for just one of them and distributing that burden more easily. We’ve seen it in Shinae opening up about her problems with her friends, her insecurities that made her doubt her friendships. Her realization that as scary as situation as her sister breaking into her home was, it was made more bearable with a ragtag group of goofs who will protect her.

Nol needs to learn to share that burden. He’s spent so long treating himself like an island, he hasn’t had the opportunity to remember that it’s easier to endure something when you aren’t exhausted from shouldering that burden all by yourself. There is strength in numbers. He’s been so run ragged from just trying to endure, trying to get by, trying to survive and how is he to ever fight back against Yui when he’s exhausted just from treading waters?

I mean, ultimately Nol needs to learn to love himself, but I think it’s easier to tackle allowing others to love him, first. Allowing himself to share the burden, to show those weaknesses and let people have his back. Be able to slump over and know that someone will help keep you standing, you know? And maybe through that, he can find it in him to start loving himself. Of course, he has other problems he needs to address; in order to love himself, he has to forgive himself, and I hope that Yujing’s article can help in that area. I’m sure he carries the guilt of his mother’s alleged suicide, and maybe he was even made to believe that. It wouldn’t surprise me if the time he spent in the mental facility only served to make him feel worse about his existence, made him believe he was the root cause of the bad. Maybe even, like Nana, he had an argument with his mother before he death and felt that if they hadn’t argued, maybe she would never have made that choice?

Clearly that’s still a little complicated for us to fully dig into, but as horrible as learning that maybe her death was not a choice she made is to learn (I cannot imagine having made this peace with someone I loved reaching a point so dark they made that choice, only to find out that it was, possibly, murder. How do you deal with that? What do you do with all that new grief, that new anguish?), I think maybe, if he learned that she didn’t choose that, it might help free him from his shackles of guilt.

But I think until he can learn to forgive himself, until he can make that peace, couldn’t letting people love him help? Wouldn’t it be better for him to move forward knowing that he has people who will not only defend him, but who can ease the weight of his burdens?

As dramatic as Nol and Shinae separating on these rocky grounds, unable to fully reconcile, makes for a good, dramatic romance, I think it’s much better for Nol to move on as a team. To let himself rely on others isn’t something he can learn over night, of course, but isn’t it better for him to enter a scary phase of his life knowing that there ARE people who he can talk to about it? There ARE people he can eventually let see those weak parts of him?

So my ultimate hope for Nol’s extension is that in that time, he and Shinae find that peace after all. I still can’t help but feel like the three-day-extension is significant, because why else include it, if it was to pass without event? Especially because, depending on how it works (is it 3 additional days INCLUDING the 22nd or 3 days extra, beginning the 23rd?) we’ll hit the holidays. That just feels... too significant, right?

I want Nol to grapple with his feelings, let his fear take over a little. Is he really as ready to lose Shinae as he tries to be? He seemed to regret hurting her, hanging his head after Dieter reassured him she was fine, even though she refuses to come back in to the room. And I can’t help but feel like it’s significant that she’s still lingering in the waiting room. My thinking is that Nana will get involved - she knows that Nol is upset about someone, she knows other friends have been watching over him, she knows there’s a friend who isn’t coming back in. She can read him well, so it’s not like it’s difficult to read that maybe they had a fight, that he was brusque and brushed her off the way he tries to do even to Nana. Will she go out there to see who this friend is? Will they talk? I feel like they HAVE to - not just because the fandom has waited for it, but because I think Nana can probably glean that Shinae (”Yoo” lol) must be someone important, if he’s acting like that.

And look. Did Nana see the blush? *I* saw the blush, I’m not getting over that. I’m sorry but he lmao pushed her away, regretted hurting her, and he’s still getting flustered because he pictured her mouth. BUDDYYYYYYYYYYYY. YOU’RE A MESS.

I don’t expect her to fully intervene in like, trying to make things happen way lmao I think it’s more like... Nana knows better than anyone that Nol is a difficult person to love. I say this with affection, because it’s true. He pushes people away, he deflects from himself, he never opens up, it’s hard to read what’s going on in his head. And Nana also knows of the darkness that looms. She was right there when he pleaded guilty, concerned about his reasoning. She’s listened to him talk about how maybe everything would be better if he didn’t exist. She knows that the darkness has a strong grip on him. So who better than her to encourage Shinae, to thank her for her patience and tenacity, for sticking with Nol even with the way he acts? I’d like to see a little bit of that comfort between them, some reassurance that Shinae is, in fact, making the right choice. She oscillates so wildly between her extreme emotions; sadness and melancholy that caring is not enough and how it sometimes comes out as anger when she can’t find a better way to channel it. We know she doesn’t really regret planning that birthday celebration - she’s just hurt. And I think it would be a big help to have Nana tell her how much it means to see Nol with friends who care about him despite how prickly and difficult he is, how she worries about him and is glad there are people who care about him. I think it would really encourage Shinae that her resolve is right - that she just has to find another way to approach him, that it’s worth the effort.

And at that same time, yes, I want Nol’s fear to kick his ass. I want him to realize he faces the very real reality of losing someone who cares so much about him, who is willing to put up with him because of how much she cares and how special she is to him - and that she wants him to see it, too. I want him to fear losing the comfort and peace she brings him. I want him to have to finally face head on his want vs what he thinks he deserves, and see what a future without someone like her is like. Can he bear to return to that kind of loneliness? Can he bear losing her concern? How it feels for her to take notice of him, to probe, to listen?

Like, at the risk of getting really corny and dramatic, that’s what it comes down to. I don’t want Nol to come back in a few years and decide he’s ready to face all of that. I want him to move on from this point knowing he’s not alone. I want him to be able to face prison knowing that he’s not so alone, that there is someone who will always be there to support him. I think that’s what makes the most sense. Leaving on their current circumstances works great if it’s a romance and that’s the main story - but making up, talking, being honest? That makes more sense for THIS story, where Nol starts to grow NOW, where he starts to make those important steps that will help him find his way to healing, and more important, that will help him face the forces that taunt and haunt him.

He doesn’t have to be completely honest with Shinae, because I don’t think he’s ready. I don’t think he’ll tell her that his mother took her life, and that he believes it’s his fault. But I think it would be enough to tell her the truth he couldn’t stay to her face - that he doesn’t want her to see him like that, that it’s still hard for him to open up that way, that it’s still SCARY - but that he doesn’t want to push her away, that he’s sorry he keeps hurting her. We could even go more dramatic with a callback to the hospital scene - that he’s sorry he isn’t good enough and is undeserving of her (AND LET HER REASSURE HIM THAT’S NOT TRUE THAT HE IS). BUT JUST. IDK I WANT HIM TO FACE IT. ADMIT IT.

He doesn’t have to tell her he likes her. That’s fine. Just reiterate what she means to him! One moment he’s telling her she’s special to him, that he cares about her, next moment he’s telling her it’s okay he doesn’t have to look he’s fine like this. STOP JERKING HER AROUND ;~; lmao like don’t get me wrong. I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

But I also want to see them move into our time skips with a sense of understanding and peace, you know? I don’t want want Nol to face his fears alone anymore. I want him to let someone stand by his side. I want him to accept how good it feels to rest on her shoulder and know that it’s okay, she’s there.

I HAVE FEELINGS OKAY I JUST. I WANT THEM TO BE ABLE TO FIND T HAT STRENGTH IN EACH OTHER, TO BE STRONGER TOGETHER.

And to call back to my earlier point lmao I like to think if they get to that point, then maybe he would understand, if Shinae accepts Yui’s offer. Maybe he would see how it’s different from Alyssa, that Shinae made a choice to protect herself, that it’s not about the idolatry, it’s not a self-serving choice, but one that protects her and enables her to fight back. Knowing that they are on the same side, that Shinae isn’t a doe-eyed naïve girl about to be taken advantage of again, but one who wants to fight back against the people who hurt her and others like her.

We’re about halfway to 3/5 of the way into this story, and I think that’s a good point for Shinae and Nol to join forces.

AndlookthisiscompletelydaydreamingbutiftherewasaChristmaskissIwouldcertainlynotobject

PLEASE I JUUUUUUUUUST i want to see them on the same page, I want to see them moving forward TOGETHER. I don’t want Nol to keep walking on his own. I don’t want him to just accept Shinae at his side, either; I want him to CHOOSE to let her choose his side. ;A;

GOD. PLS. BARKS AT THE MOON I’m just ready for them to bE A TEAM I’M READY FOR NOL TO BE SELFISH AND TO GO AFTER WHAT HE WANTS I WANT HIM TO CHOOSE COMFORT AND SECURITY OVER PUNISHMENT I WANT HIM TO REALIZE THERE IS STRENGTH IN COMPANIONSHIP. I know being close to him puts her at risk - but he needs to see that no matter what, she’s at risk, and isn’t it better if she’s in danger with someone who can help, than to be all alone with it? I WANT HIM TO FACE THAT FEAR OF HIS AND FIND THAT MAYBE HIS DESIRE, HIS WANT, HIS NEEDS ARE EVEN BIGGER. That it’s better to find peace with her than spend the whole time afraid. Isn’t that the thing? He’s always afraid - afraid of someone else getting hurt, afraid of another opportunity being stolen away, afraid of the next time Yui will find a way to hurt him. BUT TO BE ABLE TO FIND COMFORT WITH SHINAE?

Please. Just open up - be honest!!!!!!! But most importantly APOLOGIZE. Apologize for hurting her, apologize for pushing her away.

I realize, based on what she said on the hospital roof, that maybe he won’t make that choice, that maybe her persistence has to be a long game, that she does have to wait for him to forget to put the mask back on.

But wouldn’t it be so nice if he chose to move forward with her, instead of alone, to face their nightmare and battles together? ;~;

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #Stalkyoo #Aegi #Shinae Yoo #Nol #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #LMFAO THIS IS SO LONG-WINDED but i think no one is surprised anymore?#I just!!!!!!!!!#i have this very specific want in mind and if it doesn't happen that's okay because i'm sure it will lead to a better story lmao #BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT LIKE. WANT THIS PARTICULAR THING TO PLAY OUT for the sake of the story #for the sake of the second season #for the sake of what it means to fight against those who harm others just for joy #i'm such a firm believer of shinae and nol being a team and i want to see them be a team together FOR REAL #i want to see nol find it in himself to lean on shinae and find how much stronger he can be if he doesn't have to shoulder a burden alone #it's so much easier to share the weight together when you aren't the only one to carry it right?#and when you aren't run ragged just from sturviving #when you have the time to rest and recharge knowing you are safe #aren't you able to become even stronger?#to face even more?#I JUST WANT THEM TO BE A TEAM ;A;

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demonsfate · 3 months

Text

FINISHED THE TEK8 STORY. Under the cut, I will be saying how it affects my blogs and changes i may make to my own depiction, as well as how my blog will be canon divergent (for some obvious reasons). under the cut will contain MASSIVE SPOILERS. so, do not peek unless you don't care or you've finished the story already. if you've already completed the story, I highly recommend you look as it will be crucial to my blog and depiction as well as writing with me in the Tek8 verse. thank you.

I liked the story but I was also a little disappointed by a few things. I will disclose that later, for now I want this to focus on primary the depiction and what will change or stay for this blog and how this blog handles Tek8.

-JIN STILL DIDN'T START THE WAR. Honestly this is something that made the story so hard to really really like is that Jin's just good again and there was no real explanation as to why he is back to his old self. Before his character episode, they said he was consumed by the devil's blood ... but it still felt so unclear to me. Regardless, Jin didn't start the war nor was he responsible for it. DJ still started it in hopes to do what Kazuya did, awaken Azazel and take its power. Jin's guilt and suicidal tendencies are still there. However, his guilt, as always on this blog, comes from his weakness, his body being used, and feeling as though he should've killed himself and DJ sooner.

-DJ AND HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH JIN. Holy shit. This is definitely gonna be the hardest for me - as I am struggling to even know how to push forward with this. As yes, I didn't expect DJ to be precisely what I believed him to be, but MY GOD, the story basically went against almost everything I've written. So I'm gonna do my best to make it work with my own concept. So there will be a lotta points regarding DJ and their relationship, starting with -

-DJ AND JIN KNEW EACH OTHER SINCE THE END OF TK3. Tek8 seems to imply that it's Jin's first time actually meeting DJ. This blog strongly rejects that notion. Why? This blog's biggest focus has been on Jin and DJ's relationship and how they live with each other. It's actually the most fun about writing the two. So, to say they never actually really knew each other would just destroy a lot of fun and love I had for this dynamic. DJ's been talking to Jin ever since he woke up after Jin was killed by Heihachi. Not only do Jin and DJ know each other, they know each other better than anyone else.

-DJ IS NOT IN ANY WAY JIN, HE'S HIS OWN ENTITY. This is pretty self - explanatory, but no. Jin and DJ may share the same body, but they are not the same person. I'm never changing this.

-DJ REGARDING JIN. Okay, as sweet as Jin looking to DJ and saying "you've always been protecting me..." and DJ saying with a small smile, "I'll go anywhere with you" or some shit. But... that does go against my whole depiction. Y'know... DJ did attempt to kill Jin and came close to it before he started the war. So this is something I'm struggling with the most. I THINK I might have an idea of how I can better fit this in my depiction, though. Since whenever I write his Tek6 verse especially, I always strongly imply that DJ misses Jin. However, I'd make it unclear whether or not DJ genuinely misses Jin and thus cared about him to an extent, or if DJ is just uncomfortable by the change and new silence in his head. Because of the "you've always been protecting me" line, I suppose I'll just go completely straightforward and say yea, DJ does care about and genuinely likes Jin. However, as I've also stated many times on this blog - even if DJ likes somebody, when it comes down to it, he'll always put himself first. But DJ liking Jin is also one reason why he's so possessive of him. It's his own fucked up way of expressing that like - so a very toxic relationship.

-DJ'S JOURNEY IN 8. DJ is still mad at Jin for taking away his chances during the war. DJ still tries to gaslight Jin and isolate him as a means of getting back. Jin ends up defeating DJ regardless - like what happens in the story. However, Jin learns that DJ is something - no, someone that will always be with him no matter what. Perhaps using his Kazama powers, or Jun's influence, he/she "purifies" DJ and brings out the best in him. DJ admits his true feelings to Jin, and how they both do need each other if they want to take down their common enemy. Jin, of course, can't so easily forgive DJ for y'know... the selfishness and war crimes. But he also learned from his mother to show mercy and give second chances, as he felt he's been given a second chance. And plus, with a more purified mind, Jin feels DJ in a different headspace than he once was. DJ willingly gives his powers to Jin to fight Kazuya. In a way, DJ and Jin's relationship has improved and they've reconciled.

-DJ'S FATE? Since Jin seemingly lost the ability to activate the devil (or angel's lol) powers. I, uh... I don't know what this means for DJ at all. I really don't know if this means DJ is "dead" or just "dormant." At the point of writing this, I don't know if I'll say that DJ is dead - therefore he can't be interacted with during post Tek8 verse. Or... if I'll say he's still around, but Jin only hears him in his head, and there's no way that DJ can actually take over. Therefore, still kinda hard to interact with DJ in this verse :')

-JIN'S FATE. I'm still unsure what I wanna say Jin's fate is. It seems like he's going off with Xiaoyu, but... I don't think he's necessarily becoming a hermit like many think? For now, I'd like to think he's making up for loss time with Xiao and they're exploring the world together. Jin is absolved of his crimes due to Victor getting to actually know Jin, seeing how Jin has helped saved the world, as well as choosing to believe that Jin was indeed not the one to blame for the war. Jin's also learned to forgive himself for his mistakes, and learned that with friends - he is stronger. Jin is at his happiest, and is no longer suicidal. He wants to live!!!

-JIN ACCEPTING HIMSELF. Yes, Jin is willing to use Mishima-Style again, but NOT because of Heihachi or that Heihachi was actually a good guy (I swear this game felt like it was doubling down on Heihachi actually being noble - barf). Jin accepts Mishima-Style because he realized not all Mishimas are as bad as he originally thought. (See Lars, Jinpachi and himself, - even if Lars doesn't practice Mishima-Style)

#🔥 - ɪᴛ's ᴀ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪғᴜʟ ᴛʀᴀɢᴇᴅʏ // (study)#👿 - ᴀ ʜᴏʟʏ ᴡᴀʀ ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ // (study)#// i wanna play more tek8 but i'm getting sleeby!!!!#// anyways this is very important info! :')#t8 spoilers

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