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geopsych · 1 year

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The reason for posting some of my favorite pictures from each month last year wasn’t to show off my luck or the quality of my picture-taking. What I was trying to show was that even in a year that felt bad as often as 2022 there were good and beautiful things.

I had a rough year with my depression and I know I’m not alone. But even during the darkest times, when I was too damaged to fully appreciate it, the world away from the news and the internet went on being beautiful and filled with full-hearted life. Seeds turned into brand new plants. Birds arrived from the south, staked out territories, made nests and made brand new birds. Trees that were hundreds of years old bloomed and formed seeds and nuts. Much more: fungi, lichens, insects, all kinds of creatures, life, life, life, plus stones and earth and water and sky where it’s always Now.

While we’re all in our heads there’s still a real world, the one we were born into, out there to touch and hear and feel. It’s what saves me. When all kinds of horrors are being displayed in front of you or in your mind, try to touch something, even just a building or a tree, look at the sky, notice the plants growing in cracks in the pavement. It might help.

This is your world although people will try to convince you otherwise. You belong here as much as anyone. There’s a friend buried deep in the world and it loves you for exactly what you are. You don’t even have to believe it. And if you pay attention once in a while it might wink at you in some way only you would understand. You don’t have to tell anyone. You can just treasure it and hold it in your heart and maybe it will heal you just a bit.

At any rate I hope somehow some good comes to you in 2023!

#thoughts #a few thoughts #2023 #good wishes to all of you #long post

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kaddyssammlung · 1 month

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I need a new challenge.

It's in my nature to get bored fast and then seek something strange, crazy or extreme. I did a marathon and now what? Ultra marathon?! Ultra trail marathon?! Getting back into dancing? Do something else with my YouTube channel before I end not uploading there anymore because creating videos is boring?! Wait...I found new music through that whole thing. I know my channel is not that popular and I don't care. I tried something new. No big deal. I crave something but I don't know what it is.

#a few thoughts #personal stuff

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life-love-geekculture · 1 year

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Okay, theory time because this show has freaking possessed me:

Elliot is dead. Or, rather the real Elliot is dead.

The Elliot we meet in the show is either a complete simulation or (I suspect) a copy of real Elliot’s consciousness on a computer mainframe.

The evidence:

1. Very obviously his body wasn’t present in the pod at the season end. Granted, neither was Daniel’s, but a parent isn’t just gonna let their kid be stored in stasis out of their sight. First thing when you wake up you’d want to see your child and confirm they’re alright.

2. There’s a running theme of child loss throughout the series. Eyk’s backstory. Ada’s death. Maura’s belief at her forced infertility. Whether these are specific histories for the characters in the real world or simply reflections of Maura’s grief accidentally integrated in the simulation’s architecture isn’t clear, but it is important to the story being told. Maura herself spells it out telling Elliot she would have to let him go when he grew up.

3. The memory Henry awoke in Elliot. I think it’s safe to assume either it’s from early in the Elliot construct’s creation or near the end of real Elliot’s life. We can even start to see where the…friction between Daniel & Maura may have started since he was clearly more ready to let go and she was still fighting to hold on to (even a fake piece) of her son.

4. Henry’s interactions with Elliot in general. I suspect both may actually be constructs with Henry seeking exit through a host body. But the key takeaway’s are Henry implying if not outright stating the simulation was made for Elliot and that when it came down to it, Daniel would save Maura over their son. Going back, to point 1 that makes no sense unless we are to assume Daniel is a terrible father which he has given no indication of being. Rather it would make more sense Daniel’s focus is on Maura’s escape because she legitimately can. Elliot, in contrast, is right where he is supposed to be.

5. Elliot’s powers. Of all the characters that have some understanding of what is going on, he is the only one we’ve seen manipulate the simulation without any form of technology or symbolism to assist him. His biggest achievement being the time freeze. Now, one might argue the flexibility of a child’s brain gives him an edge, and it may very well, but that display of “power” makes way more sense if he’s a fully integrated program within the simulation.

So what does this all add up to?

Well, I propose much of the series backstory will have to do with the creation of artificial intelligence (Prometheus having been attributed with the creation of humanity) or a dual experiment in the deep space migrant preservation of humanity both living & deceased consciousnesses that has gone horribly wrong. Thanks Uncle Cirian.

On a more a shippy, diving in the weeds side, It may also lend an explanation to the Eyk-Maura-Daniel love triangle. I can easily see Maura & Daniel having broken apart in the wake of their son’s death (with her & Eyk bonding/potentially becoming a couple afterwards). However, as a fellow maker of the system, once Cirian or Henry’s construct stirred trouble up, he was the one with the motivation & knowledge to go in and save his (ex)-wife, who he still deeply cares for.

#a few thoughts #1899 spoilers #1899 #1899 theory #elliot 1899 #daniel 1899 #maura x daniel #maura x eyk #maura singleton #eyk larson

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flowersandspacestuff · 2 months

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Be Free, Be Nothing

Live to die for love, die to live for love.

It is so easy to slip back into the harmful old self destructive habits when things go hard. When you feel this draw begin to happen, just remember to look first for the beautiful places, give yourself permission to be imperfect, but first look for the beautiful places, before you turn and impale yourself again upon the thorny veil of your suffering, of your illusion that covers the open door.

When the wind blows, and the door is open, do not close the door, even if it is cold, for the air is life. Throw yourself wide open and open every window too, and be grateful if it freezes you and be grateful if it is gentle too, but do not confuse the fan or the heater for the breath of the Earth, do not trade the precious intensity of life for the safe and settling of a movie that you'll never be.

When the bugs come in, because your screen is broken, remember that they are living too, gently guide them back into the true light of life outside, remember that they did not mean to follow false hope to disturb you, they are only searching too.

When the vampires suck your blood, remember that your blood is not your own in the personal sense, but it is the gift given through you to the hungry, and you are the one feeding as well as the one being fed upon.

When you wish to run away, you may say it, but wait before the threshold a moment, and as you say goodbye, remember that it is the same as your hello, as you worry for the future and struggle with your past, remember that all you seek and flee from will follow you wherever you go, yet always slip from your grasp. As you strive to find yourself, and as you strive to escape your soul, know that these are only the clockwise and counterclockwise turning of the handle of the well. You are not only the stone, you are not only the water, you are not only the underground rivers that feed the hold, yet somewhere in between, you are the nourishing and the nourished, their union, and the space between.

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hippolotamus · 10 months

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Having some thoughts for the last official day of Pride 2023. A common theme I’ve heard from friends this year (other than, y’know, their very existence being challenged) is angry commentary from family or strangers wondering why Pride is even necessary. Why does every show or movie need a gay/lesbian/queer/trans character or couple? Obviously, none of these are new, but the fact remains that these hateful questions still haven’t gone away. Seriously, WTF?

What you’re about to read are only my thoughts and opinions, so take it for what it is. You’re free to disagree and have your own.

I’ll start with why is Pride necessary? One of the first things that comes to mind is something I first saw on instagram a few years ago, and it has stuck with me. A quote from munroebergdorf ‘Pride is important because someone tonight still believes they’re better off dead than being gay.’ Like, holy fuck, it doesn’t get more real than that, does it?

From an evolutionary, biological standpoint humans have a very real fear of abandonment, and loss of protection, for straying from the pack. Unfortunately, it takes far too long for most of us to realize that another pack is waiting with open arms and love. That we do not owe our bio pack unconditional loyalty simply because that’s the family we were born into. Genealogy does not make up for lack of acceptance.

Pride is important because it’s meant to be a safe space. The festivals, parades, queer owned restaurants and businesses. I can’t speak for everyone, but my experience is that being part of the LGBTQ+ community usually involves living life as more than one person. Most times are spent taking our most colorful pieces, boxing them away, holding our breath, and hoping the wrong person doesn’t learn our secret.

That’s where all those previously mentioned events and places come in. It’s an opportunity to finally take a fucking breath. To be yourself. To hold your partner’s hand, or look at them meaningfully, and not have to worry. It may not always feel like a big deal to parcel yourself away. But then you find yourself in a place you can finally let go and it’s like dropping 50 pounds of baggage to the floor.

Part 2 (also, bless you if you’re still reading any of this): Why does every [popular form of media] need [inconveniently not straight] person or couple? This sort of ties back to earlier with the bio pack and the ability to find a new pack. Books, comics, television shows, movies need these characters so we don’t feel so fucking alone.

If I remember correctly, my first encounter with a queer character was a really super awkward Lifetime movie. The next significant memory was what I refer to as my Queer Reawakening, when I met David and Patrick from Schitt’s Creek for the first time in 2021. The idea of a place built around the idea of total acceptance? Where no one cared who you loved? Where queer people had a happy existence? That was life altering. I was chemically reconfigured. From there I found a phenomenal community of friends that know me better than most of my IRL people.

I swear I’m not trying to make this about me, but this would be incomplete if I didn’t mention Heartstopper (aka the Repressed Queer Grief era). This, to me, is the height of why representation is needed across various media. I have heard, and read, many similar comments to mine from friends and articles about this show and the graphic novels. How different life might have been if we had something like this as kids. To know that sort of existence was even possible. That just maybe some form of joy was attainable, and it wasn’t always going to be living a dual existence.

Just like it’s important (for example) for little girls to know they can be president, or for little boys to know they can be in the ballet if they want… it’s important for every child to know that they are not wrong for who they choose to love, they are not defective if they don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction like other people, and it’s okay to question that maybe the body they were born with is not the best one.

Part 3 (bonus!) I know this is quite long. Again, bless you for still being here. This is a piece I will just never not bring up. I feel it’s important to reiterate the importance of The Timeline of Self Discovery aka No, you’re not too old to come out/learn this important info about yourself. Some people just know from an early age that there is something different about them from their peers. That’s amazing. Enjoy being ahead of the curve. Then there’s the crowd that sort of figures it out during the teenage/young adult years. Yay! Awesome! That’s so cool! Very proud of you!

Now, what about everyone else? Not realizing until later in life can feel like a real suck fest. You were just going along, living your life, happy as a clam and then… fuck. It’s all different and nothing is as it was and how the hell are you supposed to trust your instincts if you couldn’t even see that coming? Listen. Take a deep breath. Chill for a sec. You good? Okay, perfect.

So, here’s the thing. There is no timeline. There is no deadline for figuring these things out. It’s not like if you don’t figure it out and rush to tell the world by a certain point you’re doomed forever. For that matter, if you choose to never come out? That is also a perfectly acceptable option. You can tell as many or few people as you want. And only you get to do that. Not one single other person on the face of this earth is entitled to pressure you or take that moment from you.

The other cool super secret thing is you can change your mind. Gasp! It’s not necessary, but more likely than you think. Maybe a bi label felt good at first but then gay or lesbian or queer felt better. Ultimately, labels are always highly personal and there is zero requirement to use one. Personally I’m a big fan of referring to myself as queer. It’s easy and people tend to understand it better than the Pan label. Again, labels are completely optional. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s necessary because they’re rude and no you don’t.

Stay safe out there, friends and Happy Pride 🌈

#a few thoughts #ha!#who was i kidding? i never have a few anything #hippo rambles #pride 2023 #pride month 2023 #happy pride 🌈#long post

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marisatomay · 6 days

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You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

#I have a few more I almost added but I thought no … I keep it to four for now …

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endusviolence · 2 months

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Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?

I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?

In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".

Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.

This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.

Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.

The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]

There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.

This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]

As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.

But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?

Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.

#transgender #trans history #transsexual #transphobia #Magnus Hirschfeld #holocaust #holocaust denial #book burning #j.k. rowling #jk rowling #just in case you missed what i mean by all this: go fuck yourself anon :)#trans people have always existed #and we will always exist #if you really wanna pick a fight with me over well-documented history then you better bring in some sources to back your shit #queer history #queer #lgbt+#lgbta+#lgbt #lgbt history #edit: i finally got around to those damn image IDs. i am so very sorry for totally forgetting that's my bimbo moment of the month #also real quick i thought about adding an image of the actual building but the only one i can find has a Nazi parade in front of it #it was taken the day of the book burning raid and honestly if i were to include it then i'd add it to the first few paragraphs #and i think the story's better told when you uphold the hope Magnus Hirschfeld and all the researchers he worked with had #also keeps being brought up: yes Hirschfeld was a eugenicist. it was a popular belief set that was only discredited after WW2 #Hirschfeld died in 1935. he literally didn't live long enough to see science turn against those beliefs and practices #considering how he changed his mind on transitions i like to think he would've changed his mind on eugenics too if he'd lived

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fandom-trash-goblin · 2 months

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i beg you to love me, say that i'm enough, but you tell me— why are you like this? i think there's something wrong with you.

for @shestrying

thanks to @acelania for finding the unknowns!

in image / desperation sits heavy on my tongue, tumblr user tullipsink / mary oliver, ‘north country’ / virginia woolf, letter to violet dickinson / in image / blythe baird, from if my body could speak / Alice in Bed: A Play' by Susan Sontag (link in comment) / lynee rae perkins, criss cross / elena ferrante, Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay' (trans. Ann Goldstein) / rainer maria rilke, from rilke’s book of hours / in image/ in image

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lgbtlunaverse · 3 months

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There's a version of the "don't go grocery shopping while hungry" rule specifically for writers where you should never under any circumstances be allowed to touch your draft within 3 hours of reading a really good story. Because sometimes when you read something great your head goes "fuck this is so much better than my stuff I should make that more like THIS instead!" Look at me. That's the devil talking and you should close the document NOW.

#you will make superficial edits that do not gell well with the rest of your work #and won't actually capture what you thought was so good about that story #close the doc. sit down. think about it for a while. inspiration is fine. getting a 'eureka' moment from another story is fine #but if you find yourself comparing your work one to one with someone else's and taking any differences to be flaws on your part then STOP #you will never write good stuff by trying to make it look less like you wrote it #writing #writing advice #guess who just had to go into her google doc history and undo a bunch of panic-induced edits #because she read a fic about the same characters she's writing for?#meeee. they aged badly within just a few hours of hindsight. learn from my mistakes #self-hatred is not a good motivation for creation #fic writing

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uncanny-tranny · 3 months

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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

#mental health #mental health support #positivity #if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it #i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive #unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better

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druid-for-hire · 4 months

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[images ID: three images of a comic titled "one must imagine sisyphus happy" by druid-for-hire. it is a visual narrative beginning with someone with wrist pain (depicted by bright orange nerves) working at a drafting table. the reader is shown the same wrist as the person uses it for many everyday tasks such as carrying a grocery basket, pushing elevator buttons, typing, and doing dishes, until the pain dissolves all the panels into chaos. the person then performs several physical therapy exercises until the pain subsides. they sit back down at a desk with their laptop, sigh, and begin typing. a small spark of pain reappears. end id]

a fun little piece i made during the semester and submitted into our school comic anthology! (which you can buy at the Static Fish table at MoCCAFest in NYC ;] ). it's about artists and injury

#comic art #comics #original comic #chronic pain #carpal tunnel #tendonitis #my art #original #edit: what a delightful surprise to see this take off #this was made for class on very low fuel and very few thoughts and late at night and exhausted #the prompt was just a wordless narrative essay. three pages. and i had nothing and no ideas #and my head hurt and i was too tired to think about doing any of the like. research and mind mapping and ideating i'd do otherwise #but my arm hurt #so i decided to do a thing about arm hurty #i'm surprised to see so many people finding it resonating with them #but then again i shouldn't be. the universal lies in the specific #i should make more things about smaller stuff

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evercelle · 6 months

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but the show must go on

#genshin impact #furina #focalors #ever makes art #how about that archon quest huh!!!#i have a lot of thoughts about fontaine....... but the one i have the most thoughts about is #the theme of 'justice for all at the cost of suffering for a few'#focalors is so fascinating... the cruel calculus of what her gambit costs is very cool and sexy

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rat-king-they-them · 11 months

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#meme #rat #rat meme #funny #ratblr #30 dollars is a steal for this little guy Uwu #he is so hand sized #so few thoughts in his brain

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professionalchaoticdumbass · 2 years

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Mutuals get a lot of love on this site but I think we should also appreciate the random followers who you see in your notes regularly. The ones who you'll probably never end up following but they like and reblog almost every post you make. The ones who you see and go "hey I recognize that person!! they love my posts!" every time they show up in your notifications.

Let's hear it for Blorbo from my Notes.

#randumbass thoughts #100k notes! i think its time to bring this one to a close folks #my notifications have been suffering the past few days

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paper-mario-wiki · 2 months

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may do something unprecedented

#text #random thought #will follow up in a few days #do not expect something big or crazy #maybe just something unexpected

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forestofsprites · 1 year

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i'm such a friend lover. i genuinely believe that my friends are the coolest funniest loveliest most ridiculously joyous people out there! im biased as hell!! i think theyre all rad! and the universe just so happened to slip all these beloved people into my orbit! and vice versa!! wtf!

#hey guys . im so tired #i just spent a few hours catching up on a show with my beloved friend after months n months . and i feel healed #so healed #i love friends #i love you all #& i love teleparty for allowing these little moments of delight #goodnight :")))) sending little beams of warmth at us all #thoughts

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