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#What can I say. They've suffered enough.
kyouka-supremacy · 4 months
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Okay about Beast sskk; because I realized I've got a very definite picture of what the Beast post-canon is like that is only in my mind and I never actually put down, so here we go. Very needed content warning of sickeningly fluff and Beast sskk being disgustingly in love with each other, I suppose.
After Dazai killed himself, Atsushi is reasonably tormented, and can't sleep at night. Roaming across Yokohama late at night, he always ends up at Akutagawa's– instinctively, unconsciously, to an extent even unwillingly. He doesn't choose to, it's more about countless nights unable to sleep spent wandering with no destination and still always finding himself in front of Akutagawa's place for some reason. Akutagawa somehow always knowing when it's going to happen so that he can face him before Atsushi has time to hesitate and run away. How they don't really need words or explanations most of the time, how for Atsushi knowing that there's another person who understands is enough, and everything he needs. How before Atsushi realizes it (and thus keeping him from trying and prevent it), Akutagawa's house has become the only place where he can fall asleep.
That's how they start living together before even being together. They might not even have an actual “getting together” moment, you know? The development of their relationship is so natural and spontaneous, it was meant to end that way from the beginning. Besides, Beast sskk don't really need words between them, so... I suppose an actual confession, albeit nice, would be almost superfluous.
Soon enough they move together to a small apartment near the ada (I'm assuming Atsushi has still enough money saved from his old job). Against popular belief, with time it kind of crystallized in me the idea that Atsushi wouldn't join the ada? His life to that point has constantly been doused by violence and pain and death, he deserves a long break to cope with all the trauma; throwing him right back to another environment where he's constantly pushed to fight and use his ability would not do any good to his mental health; especially when he's got such a conflictual and hating relationship with Byakko, even worse than it is in canon. I wasn't kidding about the house husband thing. Beast Atsushi stays home and chills down and is safe and away from all major sources of stress and triggering environments. Slowly, with time, he goes out more often, gradually relearns what normality is supposed to be like, and bit by bit all his traumatic experiences get more distant, and the nightmares more rare. Akutagawa follows up with his ada job– obviously! There's a whole deal in the end about how important it is for him to keep doing his job and trying to be good. I do believe the ada is the right place for Akutagawa. He returns home to Atsushi who always welcomes him with warmth and joy, and they cuddle a lot.
But I also believe that there would be times when Atsushi is required to go back to action and fight– he's not a member of the ada and he doesn't work for them, but it's obvious that when the ada is in danger and Yokohama is facing serious threats, the guild and the rats and ultimately the doa, the times will call for his intervention. He usually comes to help or rescue Akutagawa, a trump card of sorts. And it's endearing, how Akutagawa is always the one, even among the ada, most contrary on getting Atsushi involved, how he wants to protect him and keep him away, how more than anything he wants him to be safe. As for Atsushi, I really like the concept of this man who retired from action, that spends most of his time at home or chatting with the seniors in the neighborhood, who joins the fight only when the situation is most desperate and reveals himself to be the most powerful and destructive beast to have ever walked on earth. He reluctantly fights, and together with Akutagawa they end up saving the day for everyone, because as Dazai himself said nothing can stop the both of them together.
On the other hand, when the world isn't ending Atsushi solves that very specific role of crime drama protagonist's husband who's very supportive of their partner and listens to them ramble at home about their cases. He often offers useful insights on how criminal organizations work.
Atsushi didn't replace his collar after it broke. They're barely visible under his turtleneck, but he has now wrapped bandages in its place: to hide his scars, to keep the memory of Dazai with him everywhere he goes, to remember what he's lost but also what he's gained.
Ah, and when it comes to the fight against Fukuchi, Atsushi is the one to die for Akutagawa, of course.
Headcanons that directly contradict something stated above but that I still like:
Sskk get together after six months– it's got an ironic taste to it, the timestamp their canon counterparts set to kill each other now being the time they declared their love to each other. It's so soon, but also is it really? They immediately clicked the moment they met each other, and they were always destined to be. At that point, there's no one in the world they need more than they need each other.
In case of Atsushi still wearing the collar for some time after the canon events: sskk had their first kiss when Atsushi took the collar off for the first time. Ever since Dazai died, Atsushi is haunted and unstable; he's throughout scared of taking off the collar, terrified by the idea of hurting someone unintentionally, now that Dazai can't be there to controll him (both through his ability and by the general power he used to have over Atsushi's psyche). Akutagawa sees how much Atsushi is physically hurting, and insists on him taking the collar off; they fight over it for months (verbally, for the most part, except for a couple of times when the fights become physical– but without abilities), before Akutagawa finally manages to convince Atsushi to take it off for a few hours. When they're alone, because after months of being persuaded, Atsushi can trust Akutagawa to be able to defend himself; and also something about “you would never hurt me”. Thing is, when Atsushi finally takes it off, he quickly spirals into a HUGE panic attack, not able to trust himself not to harm the people he cares about; and the only person around is Akutagawa, and he cares about him deeply. The tiger is taking over, and Akutagawa is panicking, and he's desperately looking for a way to quickly ground Atsushi so he just. Kisses him. Which effectively works in the way it immediately distracts Atsushi, as well as causes him to zone out for several minutes. Akutagawa immediately apologizes, and then panics again when Atsushi doesn't answer for a while. It's kinda cute. After that, Atsushi gradually learns to take his collar off more and more often; this time, he can really trust that, if Akutagawa is with him, everything is going to be okay.
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bohemiandeer · 2 months
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You know what hits me hard? When 5 to 6 year old children, all the way in Southeast Asia, knows about what's happening in Palestine right now. That children their age is getting bombed, that they're starving to death, that they're getting shot at, and sniped in the head. Because, just this past 2 or so months, I heard some of the little ones in the Kindergarten classes I'm TAing in as an Intern talk about it. Hell, one of the little boys downright said he didn't like Israel, because Israel is bad, because they do scary things. Another was questioning whether Palestine was bad too, because, "why else would they shooting at them?". A little girl in one of my classes doesn't want to finish her food at all, because she wants to save at least half her meat and rice for kids in Palestine, because she heard that, they don't have food. And that's just the ones I remember. Namely the inciting cases before their classmates slowly follow suit. The littles are fricking SCARED. We had to sit these kids down, and tell them that the topic is too mature for them at the moment, that they shouldn't even be concerned because they're KINDERGARTNERS, they're not even old enough to properly understand. The one teacher I was TAing for had to make a class announcement saying that. What gets me is, these are 5 to 6 year olds, the youngest I've worked with in this specific age group is 4. 5 years old on average, and they've already been exposed to the worst horrors genocide has to offer through the news and snippets of conversation among adults and hell, considering how many of them say they like to play games on Mama's phone, or their IPad, even from fricking social media. And the fact that, these literal babies, from all the way in Cambodia, has more empathy in their entire body and soul, than full grown fricking adults have in the nail of their pinky finger, gets me. FFS we as adults could LEARN from them I feel sometimes. I honestly don't know what to feel about it anymore. On the one hand, this is the next generation I'm working with. And if the next generation's default response to a tragedy such as Palestine, is what I've seen come up on occasion so far? Perhaps there's some bloody hope for this world after all. At least in this country. Especially since a majority of them already come from families who survived a genocide. These are the 3rd - 4th generation descendants of those who survived the Khmer Rouge. They've got grandparents at home, who no doubt are more than intimately familiar with what Palestine is going through right now. And it shows.
But on the other, it makes my heart sink because these are CHILDREN, these are LITTLE KIDS, they should be playing with their toys and watching cartoons and talking to their friends about everything from Spiderman to Speakerman to Kuromi and her friends, and be worried about whether or not they can go to playground that day, guranteed they're well behaved, or if Mama remembered to pack in their costume for swimming lessons that week. NOT JUST MY KIDS. But the little ones in Palestine too. They deserve better. They all deserve, so much better. Hell, it's come to the point that whenever I look at my kiddos right now, whether they'd be working in class, playing, doing something as mundane as eating lunch or getting ready for their nap. I think of the children their age in Palestine that didn't even get the chance to survive. I think of the ones whose memories from this age, is nothing but absolute horror and pain, rather than what has slowly become my normal, who never got to experience what my littles do on a daily basis right now.
Children shouldn't even be concerned about "War", about a Genocide. The last thing that should be on a 5 year old's mind, is pain, and suffering, and the worst horrors imaginable ever to be inflicted on a human being. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S INFLICTED, ON OTHER CHILDREN THEIR AGE. And for that alone, the world has failed them. Especially the kids in Palestine who didn't ask for any of this. They just wanted to carry on with life as kids do, the same way as my littles do on a daily basis no doubt, learning, playing, chatting with friends over their favourite cartoons and characters, worrying about whether they'd get to go to the playground or not that day.
I apologize for talking about this on this blog. I know my blog tends to be lighter in feel, a lot more unhinged and light hearted typically. I mean, I'm just a fricking nerd who likes to draw and write, and lurk about her favourite fandoms to consume and support what is shared among other nerds who also like to draw and write. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. About contemplating it, especially since I'll be back on a roll tomorrow, working with my kiddos again after not seeing them for 5 days straight because of Holidays. And, I just had to talk about it. This is something I felt I couldn't keep to myself this time, I don't think my soul'd be able to carry it. I had to talk about it.
FREE PALESTINE. Our children deserve better.
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balteus · 5 months
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actually re: fromsoftware politics. i do think it's very interesting that the anti-colonialist RLF, ostensibly considered the 'good guys' of the game, were initially explicitly called the communist faction. armored core always has been a series critical of oligarchies and hyper-capitalism, but it's... very interesting to see just how blatant that is in ac6 specifically
you'd think that fromsoftware would eventually drop the ball on the "the ruling class will kill you and cannibalise itself in order to stay alive" considering that they're considered elite AAA devs rn, but thinking about elden ring and ac6's narratives, they've really only gotten more obvious about it - the horrors of colonialism and genocide and the sympathy given to the rage of its victims is something that's actually insane to see, to me, from such a big studio - fromsoft doesn't even attempt to be centrist about it.
for example, the frenzy flame ending. the only thing melina can tell you to dissuade you from pursuing it, ie literally destroying the world forever, is that there's still beauty in the world, apart from the suffering the golden order had caused. at no point however is the sheer despair of the people that the flame represents villanized. if anything, it's portrayed as a self-fulfilling prophecy, it is a tragedy. the only villain is the order who slaughtered all of these people, the flame of despair is something that emerged in them as they were buried alive. and the flame isn't even intended as a revenge upon the world, it's simply a means to end the pain they feel for being subjected to this.
their grief isn't something for the player to judge, it isn't something they're forced to overcome, it's simply a physical manifestation of the reality that was forced upon them. and these people, the merchants, are still kind to us, even knowing the order that we pursue. (in fact, the true, considered best ending of elden ring, is literally just sacrificing yourself in order to achieve complete anarchism. and getting a cool wife to endure the loneliness of space along the way)
in ac6 then, ayre is so terribly forgiving towards us, knowing what we are, knowing what made us, knowing what we participate in. some of this undoubtedly is because of her narrative role, she has to be a sympathetic character. but we do get to see her rage at the end, her grief for her species being seen as nothing more than a resource to be exploited or burned fully vocalized. but the RLF is sympathetic too as resistance fighters who want their home back. the only criticism the game ever leverages towards the RLF is that they're actually not radical enough in their pursuit of freedom, and that criticism is made by a villain.
it's so... i almost want to say optimistic? other games would have tried to pull a "ooh but what if the good guys did bad things (poor attempt at moral grayness)" but no, the RLF is justified at every step of the way. idk it makes me feel things. i dont particularly want to portray fromsoftware as these bastions of political correctness or sth - they're not perfect and i don't expect that ever lmao, but it's so fucking weird that their games are this progressive and have been for a long ass time.
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Palestine is Ruining the Left
I've taken this from Reddit because I've found it an interesting read, I did not write this myself, a user named u/ u/TooLittleNuance did. Feel free to reply and engage in converation.
I'm an Israeli-American leftist who has been active in American and Israeli politics for a number of years now. I have always advocated for human rights, equity, and self-determination for Palestinians who are oppressed(to different extents) under Israel, a nation that commits itself to Jewish domination of institutions. I always voted and campaigned for progressive Democrats and I assisted with the Israeli Meretz party from abroad. This is why I think the current Palestinian-sympathetic movement is ruining the left:
Abandonment of Pragmatism - Just like the 2020 George Floyd protests("Defund the Police"), the Western left has completely embraced a suicidal strategy of idealistic radicalism. Many of those on the left insist the solution to the conflict is a one-state solution consisting of Palestine "from the River to the Sea". Unfortunately, they've appropriated the Palestinian mythology in their ambitions to magically destroy Israel and the ideology of Zionism by BDS somehow or supporting Palestinian "armed struggle". It doesn't take a lot of thought to see how both of those methods are incredibly ineffective and immoral to advocate for and implement. So, instead of a pragmatic approach, like empowering the Israeli left through donations and advocacy, supporting a reasonable solution(two-state or one-state under Israel), or calling for the ultimate humanitarian end to the war of a unilateral Hamas surrender, the Western left insists on a dream scenario that will never happen. This is the most egregious behavior of the left and it's their most common mistake(i.e. Vietnam). This is due to the fact that Palestinians, especially in Gaza, are suffering under disproportionate Israeli force with no Western movement to realistically end it. In fact, these Western leftists, due to these tactics, are assisting in empowering and legitimizing the far-right of Israel. They are the perfect strawman to turn people off to the left in Israel, which, in turn, results in a lengthened Palestinian suffering.
Maximalism - There's a tendency on the left to outcompete each other in radicalism. It's not catchy or sexy to say "The war tactics that Israel uses are disproportionate and don't consider enough of the humanitarian cost", it has to be "genocide" or "ethnic cleansing" in order to provoke an emotional reaction from uneducated Westerners. It's not "the security policy of Hafradah has resulted in reduced human rights of Palestinians compared to Israelis", it has to be "Apartheid"(with the only legal precedent being South Africa). These maximalist statements immeasurably hurt the movement for true progress on Palestinian human rights. It results in a boy-who-cried-wolf situation: If Israel decides to transfer the entire Gazan population to the Sinai, what is that called? A "genocide"? Due to the present labeling of the war, nobody will believe it. What if Israel permanently transfers or kills 100,000 Palestinian civilians? 200,000? 1 million? What will that be called? How can it get worse than "genocide"? This Maximalist rhetoric is not only inaccurate, but it's incredibly damaging to describe the proportionate extent of Palestinian suffering, which is vital to any movement that faithfully advocates for an upliftment of Palestinian life and identity.
Normalization of Bigotry - Explicit or latent Jew-Hatred is being increasingly embraced by radical sections of the Western left. Tropes such as "Zionist"(a euphemism for "Jew" for many) control of governments or blood libel. Wishing "Death to Zionists" or equating them with Nazis is, in most cases, latent Jew-Hatred. Regardless of your thoughts on the definition of Zionism(there is no definition, it is a meaningless term), it's clear that many believe that "Zionists" are just uppity Jews. Of course, this is genuinely believed by a small portion of the left. However, a substantial part of Western leftists has repeatedly failed to condemn this Jew-Hatred and to stop mirroring the language of these latent or explicit Jew-Haters. This is 1000x worse in the case of Israelis. For Western leftists, it's normal to call Israelis "colonizers", "demons", "rapists", and "child-murderers" on their social media without repercussion or introspective irony. As somebody belonging to the Israeli nationality, I have been desensitized to the insane amount of bigotry from those that I formerly respected. However, many Israelis or Jews aren't as depersonalized as I am, and they definitely take the bigotry to heart. What do you think results from that? Usually, a vote for Likud(Netanyahu's Party) or a donation to AIPAC. Thus, propagating a cycle of bigotry and continuing the suffering of Palestinians.
Propaganda - This war has sparked the largest disinformation campaigns in human history. Multiple state entities (Israel, U.S., Russia, Iran, Qatar) and numerous private entities are pumping out loads of propaganda in order to manipulate uneducated Westerners into supporting their interests. Since October 7th, known Russian disinformation propagator, Jackson Hinkle, has skyrocketed in followers due to his ability to mislead Western leftists on the war. I have seen an unfathomable amount of reposts from Al Jazeera and MiddleEastEye, known Qatari state propaganda and major propagates of misinformation. I have always appreciated the value of institutional skepticism that embodied many of the historical and academic leftist leaders. However, right now, those values are completely thrown out in favor of Russia or Iran's geopolitical advocacy of "everything the West does is bad". The previous three points of behavior are certainly emboldened by the paid disinformation and bots that propagate anti-Western sentiment to destabilize Western democracy. Meanwhile, the basic interests of Palestinian civilians are left unregarded while these state operatives kill their only lifeline.
Reactionary Resurgence - One of the main factors that attracted me to the left was its rejection of reactionary ideology(the establishment of traditional institutions from the past). For Israelis and Palestinians, reactionary rhetoric is normalized and encouraged in many cases. However, this reactionary ideology that has plagued those who share my nationality has spread to Western leftists in their advocacy for Palestine. Western leftists constantly appropriate the far-right and reactionary talking points that many radicalized Palestinians spout. An example would be the insistence on the exclusive indigeneity of Palestine from the River to the Sea, which abandons the progressive values of anti-nationalism and intersectionality. Another example would be the appropriation of Palestinian Martyrdom, in which many of them embraced the idea that human life can be inherently reduced to a political or national cause by their manner of death. This is a clear rejection of the values of individualism, secularism, and anti-nationalism.
Historical Negligence - Those who are even a little bit informed on the Israel-Palestinian Conflict understand that the conflict is too complex to be treated as a soccer match of Israelis vs. Palestinians. Many Israeli and Palestinian leaders set roadblocks to an equitable peace, while many others progressed the conflict to a more positive state. Even more than the historical complexity of this conflict, evaluating the moral complexity requires a graduate degree in a relevant field with hundreds of hours of research. I typically advise not to trust anybody's commentary of the conflict with any less credibility than the previous sentence. However, the Western left has instead decided to follow the historical and moral analysis of demagogues. There's constantly factually wrong or misleading historical information on many of these Palestinian-sympathetic accounts. An example is the map of a "disappearing Palestine" that millions have reposted, a blatantly misleading map meant to depict "Zionist colonization", meanwhile, neglecting the historical borders of the conflict. There are many other forms of historical negligence that they commonly employ that are extremely damaging for understanding the conflict.
In conclusion, Western leftists are keeping up with the Western traditions of white saviorism and interfering with this particular trendy foreign conflict. I could have written a few more grievances that I have of the Western left(including the embracement of far-right Islamist groups) but I wanted to keep the post relatively short. In several months, Western leftists will forget about the Gazans suffering under the disproportional force of the IDF. Nobody will self-criticize the ideas or tactics that they engaged in, meanwhile, the Israeli left-wing and reliable non-Hamas Palestinian advocacy organizations are left in the dust by an ineffective white-savior-esqe Western movement. Not only that but due to all of these factors making the left look like lunatics, Biden and the Democrats are being affected in the polling, which may result in Trump being elected, a terrible outcome for Palestinians.
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radiocrypt-id · 3 months
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The bad kids haven't really looked too closely at the Rat Grinders (meta wise I know it's a commentary on different play styles and how shitty xp farming is and how op players/parties can become by doing the bare minimum if they put in the time while everyone else plays the damn game) but I find the split perspective problems absolutely fascinating. I can't wait for the Bad Kids to look at the Rat Grinders with envy and anger that the Rat Grinders got to live a normal highschool life without all this insane danger and experience being a teenager without it being the end of the world for them. Right now they just hate the Rat Grinders energy and are matching it back (which is a very high school thing to do. To have beef with a whole other group of kids and not even know why but you'll die on this hill because they started shit first)
Because to the Rat Grinders, from a purely outside perspective, the Bad Kids are fucking monarchs of the school, right? They skipped classes, ran around town, fought people, got arrested, hung out with a big devil? Every new staff member came at their recommendation? One of them has both her dads working at the school?? The destroyed school property, got teachers killed, straight murdered the coach? These fucking kids run around and are apparently scott-free? because the principal liked their chaos enough to let it go and help them avoid the police? To the Rat Grinders, the Bad Kids are untouchable. They're exempt from the law. They're liars, cheats and need to be humbled. It's unfair. From everyone elses perspective, it really does look like the Bad Kids have been given crazy favourtism.
Meanwhile, all of the Bad Kids have died at least once. They've been irreparably changed and are in a constant state of fight or flight. They assume everything is dangerous and anyone might be an enemy because for two goddamn years that was the exact case! They couldn't trust any adult first year! Literally anyone could have been infected with Kalina second year! who knows what happened with the Night Yord but I fucking bet they had issues with Yorbies pretending to be helpful just to kill them! Everyone, for two years, has been out to get them! They can't even sleep! And now they have to grind so hard or they fail. Adaine has a seemingly full time job after school basically every day because she literally can't afford to live? Fabian has taken on the most physically strenuous classes and sport one dude could and has dreams of also being a social legend because he's fucking lonely in that big house and he just wants to fill it. If anyone in the party fails or dies Riz is shit out of luck and wont ever get into a university? He so desperately wants his friends with him so he's working over time and ignoring his limits to make up for his party members not caring about the future. Fig is going through the strangest arc I've ever seen in my life? she's hard avoidant and taking three classes, so a 250% work load, because she's desperate to fill her time so she can't think about all the other work she has to do that if she ignores too long could crush her under the debt of her band from her label, or how alone she feels without her girlfriend around. Gorgug is so desperate to prove himself that he's doing four years of school work in one, trying to play catch up and also prove himself at the same time, he's taking it all so seriously but also is so fucking tired. And Kristen. Mother fucking Kristen "hey girlie" applebees. Expected to dedicate her life to a god with no direction, with the weight of failure being her gods death, while also being in school and also at your friends insistence needing to run for student body president and getting your priorities so mixed up and being completely left behind by her peers who didn't have to rework their entire world view and understanding of life in the span of a few months every few months.
The Bad Kids are in a terrible place. They're suffering. I want them to just say it out loud, to stop pretending they have it handled and are fine. I want Riz and Adaine to yell at the party to get their shit together. I want Fabian to tell someone how alone and abandoned her feels. I want Kristen to scream at Cassandra that she agrees, that it's not fair, she's just a kid, how could she be enough all on her own with no help? It sucks a god can only rely on a child, for both the god and child! They're both suffering from this arrangement! Neither is happy! I want Gorgug to beat the shit out of Porter with his inventions and rage at the same time, to make the best shit and use it in the most stunning way anyone has ever seen. I want Fig to finally get some freaking help, to have her teachers and parents reach out in a meaningful way and stop telling her to figure it out alone because clearly the pressure is too much for her to handle and she's drowning. I want someone, anyone, to look at the Bad Kids and tell them to stop. To help them. But I know it wont be that easy. I know it'll be the Rat Grinders yelling at how unfair it is the Bad kids get everything while they're on the sidelines that'll get under the Bad Kids skin and they'll yell about how awesome they are and that they didn't ask for any of this shit to happen to them and to fuck off. I know it's gonna get so much worse before it gets better. I know they'll figure it out and that it'll be a painful road there.
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howtofightwrite · 10 months
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Since adrenaline makes it easier to ignore pain, I’m wondering how severe an injury can be before adrenaline isn’t enough to allow a person to keep fighting
Fatal.
The scary thing about adrenaline is that you can suffer a mortal wound and not realize it until you drop dead. If you've ever seen the, “humans are space orcs,” meme, adrenaline is a big part of that. If you don't finish someone off, they are still a potential threat until they are clinically dead.
While it may seem slightly comical, the image of someone literally checking themselves for holes after being shot at is a real practice with genuine purpose. If they had an adrenaline rush, they might not be able to tell that they've been hit, and will need to physically examine themselves to ensure they're not bleeding to death without realizing it. (And, yes, that can absolutely happen.)
As a general rule, anything that will immediately kill someone, such as decapitation or catastrophic head trauma, will stop someone through an adrenaline rush. Destruction of the skeletal structure, (which is to say, destroying joints), might not completely stop them, but it's an injury they won't be able to power through (even if they aren't immediately aware of it.)
It's a little worse than I'm making it sound, too, because you can suffer non-fatal injuries during an adrenaline rush, and then aggravate the wound to the point that it becomes life threatening (or life-altering.) An adrenaline rush can, potentially, persist for over an hour.
In most cases, the adrenaline rush will drop off within a few minutes of the threat passing, though the state of threat is assessed by your brain, so your psychological state heavily affects that. Meaning, if you feel threatened, even if the actual danger has passed, the rush could continue (though it will usually drop off after, roughly, an hour.)
The “good” news is that an adrenaline rush will not prevent you from bleeding to death. So, if someone has been shot multiple times and is bleeding out, they'll still lose consciousness. You just need to make sure that they're actually incapacitated. Not that it matters, but as a minor up-side, adrenaline is delivered via the circulatory system, meaning if you start seriously bleeding, that's your adrenaline rush going with it, so the rush is likely to drop off prematurely in the event of fatal blood loss.
I'm not completely sure what the subjective experience is there. Catastrophic blood loss during an adrenaline rush is not something I have personal experience with, and my experiences with bleeding while dealing with an adrenaline rush is more just that bleeding is an extremely annoying inconvenience, when you don't need to consider what's happening. (To be clear, that's not just a glib dismissal, being aware of bleed was actually annoying. It might sound hilarious to be pissed off at your own blood leaking down the side of your face, but that was my experience. Also, for the record, I did not feel the gash that I was bleeding from, and angrily rubbed it a few times before realizing I'd been injured.)
The short answer to your question, “how much severely do you need to injure someone through an adrenaline rush?” You need to kill them.
That said, killing them is absolutely not your only option. Less than lethal devices, such as tasers or chemical sprays, can absolutely incapacitate someone under an adrenaline rush, without severely harming them. Similarly, restraints, and other submission techniques can be used to hold them down. In the case of restraints and submission holds, there is a danger of the individual injuring themselves, while they try to work their way out of the hold, but that risk is still vastly preferable to killing them on the spot.
Adrenaline is a very potent survival tool, in your physiology, and if you try to simply overpower that tool through direct force, it will lead to catastrophic consequences. However, alternative methods (in particular, shorting out someone's nervous system with a direct electrical charge, or simply interfering with the mechanical structure of their joints, can be just as effective at stopping them with far less dire consequences.
-Starke
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ghouljams · 5 months
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your post about Gaz's chronic pain reminds me about my spouse and our friends who are military veterans and the kind of chronic pain they all cope with. Like if the military is good at anything it's good at creating disabilities. My spouse has chronic back pain from falling off jets on multiple different occasions, I can only imagine what kind of pain poor Gaz deals with falling from Helicopters and stuff.
Honestly I'd be more shocked if they all didn't have some sort of injury they've learned to cope with. Like Soap being partially deaf in one ear because of an explosion he messed up on. Or Ghost dealing with shooting nerve pain because a particularly nasty scar got pulled wrong while he was stretching or moving too quickly.
-Hot mess rambler Anon
Yes yes yes yes yes 141 with Chronic injuries they're lying about to medical staff.
Gaz absolutely has joint pain from falling out of a helo. You can't tell me that hanging from that rope didn't fuck up his back a little. Didn't give him an inner ear problem that makes him nauseous at high altitudes. He absolutely is hurting when there's bit pressure changes, downing a few aspirin at breakfast just to cope with the day's exercises. Strikes me as a very "suffer in silence" sort of soldier. Maybe complains to Soap about his back hurting.
Soap definitely has a good ear, caught too many explosions in the side of the head to have everything fully functional. It's not bad enough to take him out of the line of duty so he doesn't say anything. Price makes sure to stand on his good side when he gives orders. The 141 learns BSL and excuses it as field practical. I think he has some nerve damage in his fingers from shocking himself, snipping himself on wires, just the wear and tear of working in demo. It's not anything he needs to report except when he gets a tremor and swears at his hand until it stops.
Ghost catches the worst of it. Definitely nerve damage, the kind that makes it hard to move on bad days, that sort of twinges on good days. He's got a menagerie of chronic injuries. Joint pain, muscle pain, scar tissue in his lung, sticky ribs. But it's the mental wounds that are worse: he can't stand flashing lights, has nonverbal episodes, is bad in crowds. Other things too, I think he has a nervous stomach, I think he has texture issues and certain smells that trigger him. He can't break his routine or he- He just can't break his routine, it's very important that he doesn't break his routine.
Price too has injuries. His knees aren't what they used to be, his smoking is starting to catch up to him, some days he's thankful for desk work. He's dislocated his shoulder too many times and sometimes it sticks wrong and he gets pain for hours. Very grit your teeth and bear it for himself, but if any of his boys complain he puts them on bed rest. Similar to Soap I think he has some hearing loss, bombs and bullets will do that to you. You'll never catch him in medical, not unless he's dragged there barely conscious.
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Note
TWST boys with a Diana! Reader?
The reader's a really and I mean REALLY popular and a captivating woman from Siodonna, many rumours were spreading of a beauty from Siodonna yet the TWST boys decided to ignore the rumours, taking them as only bluffs until they met the reader performing in the streets for the poor children. The boys quickly fell head over heels for they're kind nature, and alluring looks. The way those crystal like (Colour) eyes gaze into theirs sending their hearts pounding again their chest. Being lucky enough to marry the woman of their dreams was a big accomplishment but they're happiness was short lived when they found out the risk of the reader dying during childbirth, the TWST boys being selfish asked her to choose them over the child yet the reader didn't have the heart to do so and decided to give her life for the child, only doing as much as witnessing how they're child grew as a wandering spirit and visiting them in their dreams to interact with they're child. How would the guys react when their child(or children) mentioning they're mother's name when they've actually never met or heard of her?? <3
- M. Draconia ; V. Schoenheit ; R. Rosehearts ; L. Kingscholar ; I. Shroud ; L. Vanrouge
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"I'm sorry for not choosing you, but I couldn't bare giving it up ( sacrificing an innocent life) either..."
- (Name)
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SORRY IT'S BAD, I'M RUSHING THIS 😭😭
Mentioning Your Name | Yandere Twisted Wonderland
Its an average day your child casually mentions some advice you gave. It takes them off guard and the problem with lovers as in love as they are suffering from your loss–this can be received very differently:
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Malleus Draconia 
“What did you say?”
“I said (Y/n) told me I should try harder to talk to you because your socially immature.”
“....when…when did they say this?”
“In my dream last night, I asked how I was supposed to get you to smile at me and they told me to be ins-st-i-dent?”
He remembers what you said to comfort him before the birth
And honestly if it hadn’t been for that and this child having your smile
He would’ve smited him long ago
But to hear that you’re still here in some capacity
He smiles more 
Speaking into the quiet of the room 
Practically serenading your lingering spirit
“Thats…just like them…”
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Vil Schoenheit 
“Wearing those two patterns is a travesty, we won’t be doing plaid with polka-dots–”
“Noooo! B-but I said I would!”
“...To who?”
“To (Y/n) of course I was telling them all about how I’d wear them-”
“Wait wait what did you say?”
He doesn’t believe that you’re meeting in their dreams
Its more than likely one of his close friends slipped up while babysitting
And now they’ve taken the name of their mother for some imaginary friend
Needless to say he’ll get to the bottom of this
Even if it takes a forceful kind of truth serum
“(Y/n)...my half is dead…so whoever they’re speaking to is something else.”
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Riddle Rosehearts
“My RULE IS ABSOLUTE TO YOUR ROOM!” 
“(Y/n) would hate you so much!?”
“H-how do y-you–!”
“They said I should be free! That I should be allowed to play with others!”
“Where?! Where did you hear that?!”
He thought that he wouldn’t need to be hurt again
But here you were showing up in your child’s dreams 
But since you’ve left him…what do you words mean now
“You’re not appearing to me and you aren’t here to parent…therefore you’re words barely scrape the height of a suggestion.”
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Leona Kingscholar 
“(Y/n) doesn’t think I’m weak!”
“WHAT?!”
“THEY said I’m plenty strong and that you don’t know everything!”
He’ll continue to lock the child away 
Scratching at his post some interloper as he thinks about what his child has said 
“Even across the grave you’re fighting me…can’t do much from where I’m at now can I?”
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Idia Shroud 
“Papa I made my own drone…”
“Mmmm.”
“Uhm and uh (Y/n) says that you should maybe look at me when I show you mystuff so…”
“...”
Is floored
Since your departure he’s been torn with hating this child and eliminating anyone who interacts with them
So consumed with grief he shuts himself in his workshop and watches his child relentlessly
He knows them well in fact he’s sure he loves them 
but he can’t stand to speak to them without wanting to cry
So this is all the more painful to him and in his desire to reach out he might end up inventing something meant to capture your wandering spirit
“Just you wait (Y/n), I’ll have you soon.”
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Lilia Vanrouge
“Just trust Papa on this you stay inside, my little bat.”
“(Y/n) says you should let me outside more.”
“Oh yeah they really–said…that?”
“Yeah! And that you need to properly comb out my hair you can’t leave it a tangled mess.”
“Hahaha yeah.”
He believes in ghosts, well he knows they exist
So he believes thats what that is about 
And if thats the case than maybe if he suggests somethings for your kid to recite
Maybe he can still reach out to you
“Hey! Hey! Maybe the next time you see them can you tell her how much Daddy loves her?”
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2frosty4you · 2 months
Note
Hiii! If reqs are open, can I request for all the mercs finding out teen merc reader grew up with very neglectful parents, and is basically a mother to her younger siblings? The only reason she even took up a job as a mercenary is so she can pay the bills for her little brothers and sisters, since her parents are too busy using their money on drugs:/
Mercs find out teen!reader takes sole care of her siblings [Platonic
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| All mercs x GN!Reader Platonic | 826 words | Masterlist | Ask/Request |
Hardest thing about this was actually getting a name for it :cry:
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Scout
✧ He says he relates, but in reality he doesn't. His family was filled with successful boys (fatherless) and his mother who they all loved. He sent his paychecks to her every time.
✧ When you explained that you had to take care of your siblings from a younger age over the campfire he became quiet.
✧ Doesn't make a joke, but the awkward air was getting to him.
"so.. how many siblings ya got?"
✧ He only says this to break the ice
✧ After a while he understands why you're always on calls with people, always away on ceasefire and always take any off days you can get (hardly any)
Soldier
"AN AMERICAN CARETAKER SHOULD NOT INTAKE DRUGS FROM THE FRENCH!!"
✧ He's trying, but not hard enough
✧ He offers you one of his extra helmets and his raccoons. He cares for you like a strange rabid dog you found on the street.
✧ Shares his food with you, gives his loyalty to your brothers and sisters with a goofy salute.
✧ Don’t let him meet your siblings unless you want him to get them to dig a trench around your house
Pyro
".. mph?"
✧ They don't understand why your parents aren't using their own money.
✧ They don't understand a lot of what you explained
✧ They'll begin to offer any candies they have to you, not like they weren't already. Protects you a lot on the battlefield and draws pictures for you and your siblings (mostly balloonicorn)��
✧ Would like to meet your siblings though, they've got plushies to share 100%
Heavy
✧ He pats you on the back and nods, he didn't need to mother/father a group of kids but having no father made his family's life harder.
✧ Teaches you some night hearty meals that could feed a battalion
✧ Also teaches you self defense, even if you know it already it's never enough (heavy tells you that like :nerd: )
✧ Also makes you sit and have some time to yourself, he's your 'father' now. No ifs, buts or whys
Engineer
"pardon."
✧ He says, frying pan in hand as he was cooking breakfast. Staring at you like he was going to kill a set of parents.
✧ Tries to keep you safer on the battlefield, not wanting you to suffer more than your family has done to you.
✧ Teaches you to cook, like heavy 
✧ Cooks breakfast for you first, and when you have a rough time its 100% only you getting proper meal.
✧ Will drive you to your family's house, and stand there like a guard as you let him meet your brothers.
✧ Probably would build little contraptions for them and help tutor them.
✧ Loves you like family, including your siblings (not your parents, not at all)
Demoman
✧ He's drunk when you tell him this, he raises his bottle and spits out
"aye, fuck ya parents"
✧ He passes out immediately
✧ If he's sober when you mention it again he's going to be more caring(slightly) and since hes always at least tipsy he'll offer you his bombs like a drug dealer.
✧ If you say yes he'll blow up them and their crackhouse.
✧ Is on the fence about meeting your siblings, he doesn't really want your brothers seeing a drunk, half-blind Scot stumbling around.
Medic
✧ His eye twitches, a large insane smile on his face as he turns to you while having his elbows deep in the corpse of the enemy heavy.
"Did I mishear you?"
✧ He removes his hands from the corpse and comes over to you shaking you like crazy. Ranting about how a teenager shouldn't be caring for small children and asking if you had symptoms for any mental issues.
✧ He's insane, I'm not gonna sugar coat it.
✧ But he is smart and teaches you how to do some basic first aid
'no medic I'm not going to remove any appendices please stop cutting into scout'
✧ Wants to meet your sisters, offers them to play with his birds and offers up some plushies
'MEDIC DON'T GIVE THEM SYRINGES' 'and PLEASE put away the baboon heart'
Sniper
✧ Asks for you to repeat what you muttered and then offers to 'get rid' of your parents (sniper put down the rifle.. and the jarate)
✧ Drives you back and to your family home, is uncomfortable around small children so he's going to 100% either stay in his truck or be leaning against it the whole time.
✧ Don't worry he didn't bring any jarate with him.. Just don't check the truck (please) 
✧ But if he mentions taking care of birds your siblings demand to see them, so they get along well
Spy
✧ He will assassinate them, won't tell you, but it'll be suspicious when your mother dies from an overdoses while having and obvious bullet hole through her chest
✧ Look, he wasn't a father to scout but he'll be a father for you. Better than your last father at least, and a little better than he was to scout.
✧ Teach your siblings french 100%, you won't know until they start speaking it and you're left dumbfounded.
╚═════════════════╝
Posted 1.03.2024 if you see any typos or anything pls tell me!!
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semisolidmind · 2 months
Note
What happens when they outlive angel? Since poppy was first created in the 50’s it seems like being preserved as toys has granted them longer lifespans if not technical immortality, so angel aging is going to become a problem sooner or later, and I’m kinda wondering what happens when the inevitable comes. I made myself sad thinking about this and now all of you will be too, suffer with me
(i was thinking about this as well, uuuugghhhh)
it's so so sad. what will the toys do without their one advocate, the one person who truly understands them and what they represent? when the one good home they've ever had is gone, they've got nowhere else to go.
so, they stay.
when y/n dies, the toys have a quiet burial for them in their backyard, under a big shady tree. they make a simple marker from rocks, and pick wildflowers nearby to lay on the grave. none of them speak. it was hard enough digging the grave, and unbearably difficult to lay their savior to rest.
the house is horribly quiet afterwards.
poppy is likely the strong one throughout all this. she's had the most experience saying goodbye to people she cares about (thanks to her longevity), and she attempts to maintain a sense of optimism about it all. they'll all be ok, she's sure of it. they'll find their way through this, like always. it's what y/n would have wanted. kissy withdraws into herself further, following poppy's lead and trying not to cry.
dogday is devastated. devastated beyond all measure. he was the one to discover y/n when they passed. they were so pale, he could feel their warmth leaving them. their face looked so peaceful, they looked like they had just fallen asleep. he knew it was coming, they were getting older, but—but it's still not fair. it doesn't feel real. it can't be, his angel can't be dead, nothing has ever kept them down before, they always get back up, why couldn't they get back up—
...he tries to stay calm.
he took on the duty of grave digging. he took on the heavy burden of laying his beloved angel into the makeshift coffin they were able to cobble together. he could barely keep it together when he did. he managed, but not without crying.
that night, he waits until the girls have gone to bed before he closes himself off in y/n's bedroom. in the privacy of the once-shared space, dogday allows the truly desperate, heaving sobs he's been keeping in to finally leave his chest. tears mat down the fur on his face as he cries. he shakily grasps y/n's jacket to himself, wishing that there was some way, any way, that they could come back to him. he knows humans aren't meant to live forever. but that doesn't stop him from wishing that y/n could achieve the tentative immortality that the toys have, if only so that they could stay with him.
dogday becomes somber after his angel dies. they were his source of hope, his reason for living. they saved his life in ways beyond just physical. they were the only reason he was alive at all. without them, he's...he's not sure if he wants to keep going.
but he must. he knows he has to. y/n would want him to take care of the others, they'd want him to protect and provide for them. so, without any other purpose...that's what he does.
the toys live in their savior's house for as long as they're able. it's just their luck that the house is never put up for sale, that it's just sort of...forgotten about. it becomes a "haunted house in the woods," feared and avoided. they're more than happy to become the vague, cryptic monsters in local legends if it means that they're left alone.
nobody will come by to check on y/n for a while, and the toys will have power and food (their water comes from a well hooked up to the house) for at least a little while longer. and after that, they'll manage on what they can find in the woods.
they live as peacefully as they can for as long as they can.
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morgana-ren · 10 months
Note
How would you feel about the concept of self aware!Bailey who slowly becomes obsessed with the person controlling the PC?
Oh shit, that's actually brilliant. Like, he's known PC their entire lives, but suddenly they develop an entirely new personality, presumably much different than the one they had before. Suddenly, they're extremely competent, or intelligent, and they're certainly attracting attention that they weren't before. Obviously, it's his business to know things, so he starts paying extra attention. Acutely studying things that happen. And it seems like their moves are almost calculated. Some moments, he starts to notice, seem like they last ages. They can change their attitude at will. Sometimes, it's like they know what's going to happen before ever does. Like they've lived it before.
When he tries to deviate from his routine, it seems like something won't allow it. Baily is a canny guy. Enough of a change and he'd figure something out.
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You enter the orphanage, only to run smack into Bailey. He glares at you for a moment before grabbing your shoulders. You flinch, thinking he's going to hurt you, but all he does is stare into your eyes for a moment before releasing you.
He leaves without a word.
+ Stress
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It starts to drive him a little crazy. There's something he can't put his finger on; something he can't control. The more he thinks about it, the more it seems like his life tends to revolve around the PC. He knows he interacts with other people-- he has memories of doing it. But it seems like he's never actually doing it. Only knows that he has.
How are they getting all this money, anyway? His demands are purposefully outrageous. They are making more money than most people in the entire town and have some to spare. No one is that good at surviving here.
No one. Unless they're cheating somehow.
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Someone enters your room. It's Bailey.
"Time to pay up." You hand him the money, and he cards through it for a moment, seemingly counting it out. There's a strange look on his face, and he looks at you with suspicion.
"How'd you get this?" He holds it up accusingly.
You stare at him with confusion on your face. He's never cared how you got it before. In fact, he deliberately avoids asking.
You don't answer.
He snarls and leaves, slamming your door shut as he does.
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It hits him one day. As insane as it sounds, he understands. Everything fits a little too perfectly.
He doesn't tell a soul. He doesn't want to end up in Dr. Harper's care.
Or would this place even allow him to tell anyone? Would Harper even have protocol for that, or would they just stare at him lifelessly like they tend to do sometimes?
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Bailey gives you a creepy stare— and yet, it seems he's looking right through you. Almost something behind you. You peer behind yourself, and there's nothing.
"I know you're there," is all he says before returning to his paperwork, dismissing you without an explanation.
It gives you the chills.
+ Stress
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He's left irritated, but more than that, he's curious. What is it you want? Do you get off on this? Watching this wretched little shithole suffer?
What does this have to do with PC? Why did you take over them? Why are you helping them?
You're not a God-- he's relatively sure of that. But you have enough power to get this little orphan out of trouble. Enough foresight to keep them safe and somewhat healthy.
What do you want? Why do you let it all happen?
...Or is this what you want?
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Bailey drags you to his office. You aren't sure what you've done. You've paid him, and that's usually all he cares about.
Once you're inside, he locks the door, slamming you against it with a hand on your throat. Again, he's not quite looking at you. It's somehow more unnerving than if he was glaring.
+ Stress
"What do you want?" He snarls, baring teeth at you.
You don't understand what he means. You try to respond, but only wheezing breaths escape you as he clenches your neck.
+ Willpower
"Why are you doing this?" He hisses, squeezing harder. You feel bruises forming.
+ Pain + Arousal
He holds you like that for a moment, quaking in anger, before he suddenly releases you in a moment of clarity.
"Get out. I don't expect you to have the answers."
You scramble through the door holding your throat, not wanting to give him another chance to attack you.
W̴h̵a̵t̷ ̵t̵h̷e̶ ̵h̷e̶l̷l̶ ̸w̷a̴s̸ ̴t̶h̸a̷t̵ ̶a̴b̶o̴u̷t̸?̴
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Once he notices it, it's impossible to ignore. They win every competition. Commit crimes but evade the police. They can do things with such ease that it's unnatural.
He can't see you, but he knows you're there. Knows you're watching. You're aware of his presence and now he's aware of yours.
Maybe that's it. Maybe you're a voyeuristic little whore. A talented one, but still a whore.
Perhaps you get off on this. Is that it? You like watching? Or do you live vicariously through his orphan somehow? Maybe that's what it is.
Maybe you wish it was you.
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You wake up with a start to find B̷̤̹́̿a̸̮͈̗͗i̶͎̳͈̽̈́l̵̙͚̈́͝e̴̱̓̏͝ÿ̴̮̝̼́͋͝ climbing on top of you. You try to scream, but he claps a hand over your mouth.
"I know you want this. Don't you? Is that what this is about?"
You can't speak with his hand still clamped over your face, but something tells you it doesn't matter. There's something about his eyes that terrifies you. You feel him hard and throbbing in his slacks, but again, he ï̷̩̠s̵̲̠̒̐n̴͚̜̓'̴̹͕̈t̸̛̮̓ ̵̦̫͐͘q̶̗́͑u̴̝͋̐i̷̝̅̄͜t̶̢̥́́ë̷̝͍́ ̵̯͂l̴̋͜o̷͙͎̚ǒ̸̻̻̈k̴͇͎̊̂i̷̛̪͒n̴̳͂̽g̵̖̏ ̴̦̌a̵̤̟͌ẗ̸͔̞́ ̵̝͇̀̅y̶͉̹̑o̸͇̝͊̌ụ̶̹͐̆.
Your sense of control cracks.
He rips at your clothes, tearing your pajamas to shreds. His left hand pulls down his slacks. His right hand holds you down.
+ Trauma
+ Stress
+ Arousal
He looks eager. He looks aroused. He looks incredibly pissed off. He looks {n̷̺̤͘u̷͙̎ͅl̶̰̈́ḷ̴͖̈́̓}
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He can't touch you, but he can touch them all over. That's what you want, isn't it?
He wouldn't have looked twice at them before. Even now, something inside of him fights. Tells him no. A voice that isn't his. Something trying to control his movements. Control his thoughts. Control him.
Oh, no. He doesn't fucking think so. But if you can get in here, he can get out. He's aware, and he knows that wasn't mean to happen. But now that he is, he just needs some time. Some time to prod at the fraying seams of reality to find a crack.
No, he can't touch you.
Y̶̩̰̋ė̸̥̗͑t̶̻̆.̶̛̫͙̍
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misc-obeyme · 4 months
Text
You know the drill.
Spoilers for Lesson 40 below, including locked and hard lessons.
Just to clarify: when I say that it’s “the end” in my rantings, I am referring to season two, not the entire game. ☺️
Hmm.
I'm confused. And... underwhelmed? What even just happened?
I mean, we had lovely moments with the side characters and we got to kiss them all and of course I'm incredibly pleased I got to kiss Barbatos and Solomon, but aside from that we just... went back?
Most of the lesson was about the RAD founding ceremony. We say good bye to the side characters and they even address how we told Solomon his cooking was bad (more on this later).
But just as the ceremony is about to start, a dark rift opens in the sky. It's a rift in space and time. Barbatos straight up asks Solomon if he did it. Solomon says he didn't, but that he wasn't expecting it to show up so soon. (So who did create it? Nightbringer? And if so, doesn't this prove Solomon at the very least knows enough to know when Nightbringer is going to open a portal back through time??)
We miss the ceremony because we have to go through that rift if we wanna get back. The brothers come with us because we need their power. Just like when we summoned the white dragon, we call upon each brother for his power. Then Solomon adds his. Then there's a bright light and..
...roll credits.
Yeah. That's it. That's the end.
There's a locked lesson where Diavolo gives a speech at the ceremony.
And then the HARD lesson... is us returning to the House of Lamentation in our time. The brothers are all like oh hey MC good morning like nothing even happened. They say it's weird because it feels like it's been a long time since they've seen MC but that can't be right because it hasn't been that long at all.
AND THAT'S IT.
No Nightbringer. No further insight from Solomon or Barbatos. Not even sad angsty brothers who have been missing us.
It was like they didn't know we were gone.
So either we went back a little further in time or there was never a point where they decided as a group to send Solomon back to help us.
We didn't even get a Michael appearance!
THAT WAS VERY ANTICLIMACTIC.
I am confused because it wasn't bad, it was kinda cheesy, there were some sweet lines and like I mentioned previously I got to kiss my malewives but WHAT THE JUNK.
I'm not suffering, more like I'm just left hanging???
My one consolation is that we're back in our timeline now. So maybe NEXT SEASON we can FINALLY get some ANSWERS.
I really thought they couldn't drag it out any further and yet...
I didn't take a whole lot of screenshots this time because again, it was kinda just... underwhelming. Overall this lesson was just me going that's it?! And being baffled.
First I'd like to present you with these lovely Barbatos moments.
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As sweet as this is, the man knows. Not that I ever thought anything else, but he's so subtle about it. I'm onto you, Barb.
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My HEART. If I wasn't going back to another version of him, I would just be like nope staying by your side forever the end I don't care about anybody else.
But before all that, there was also this:
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I'm glaring at you because you let Solomon into the kitchen.
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I DIDN'T WANT TO.
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OF COURSE I DIDN'T.
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GOOD. SOMEONE ELSE CAN SUFFER WITH ME.
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OHHhhhh Barb I love when you get all threatening and smile like that 💕
But seriously, then Barbatos and Luke help Solomon make a lunch that's actually delicious and we eat it with everybody and they're all amazed. I was like OKAY WELL I do feel a bit better about that whole fiasco now. But still, was it even necessary to begin with? No amount of sweet kitchen buffoonery with these guys is going to make me forget the pain.
At least we had a cute Solomon moment, too.
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Yeah but I'm still wondering about the past version of you, Sol. I'm just saying, where is that guy?
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I mean you don't have to look so sad about it.
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Ah. Your jealousy is showing, Solomon. (I don't mind.)
Hard Lesson bits because I'm still just ????
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YEAH BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T.
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YEAH IT'S BEEN TWO WHOLE SEASONS.
Once again, I am left with more questions than what I started with. Will MC tell the brothers what happened? Will we just never see the past brothers again? Will we return to the past in the next season? Will we ever see Nightbringer again, the being for whom this game was named?
At the very least, we still have Mephisto being himself and man I can't believe I ever disliked this guy.
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THAT'S MY BOY.
I'm feeling extremely unsatisfied but it isn't like that's anything new.
I will say that it wasn't as bad as I expected. I was expecting them to do some really terrible things that made me freak out and scream and scare my cat. But no, I was mostly just ?? the whole time. And confusion is preferable to suffering in this case.
But I am also ANNOYED. We have waited long enough for the Nightbringer reveal, please give it to us now Solmare!!!
I fear we only have a short time before we are dragged further into this game that has truly become a hell of its own when season three is upon us... (I'm being deliberately melodramatic but still...)
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Note
WIBTA for getting a pet one of my parents is allergic to and/or planting plants that would attract them?
Pretty short one, honestly. I'm currently living with my parents and younger siblings. Ages aren't particularly important, just know that everyone involved is an adult except my youngest sibling, who just reached teenagerdom, and the rest of us "kids" are stuck living at home without any real way to get places of our own.
What some of my siblings know, to varying degrees, and that my parents either don't know or are willfully ignorant towards, is that I am so far removed from my parents' political views that it's like listening to an alien way of thinking whenever one of them brings politics up. I've gotten very good at shutting up and letting them think what they want to about me- with how hard they project, they probably think I'm exactly like them. In reality I just don't think minorities should be considered "hate crimes against God" and think they're insane for believing as much.
Sure doesn't help that I'm in multiple categories of minorities that they consider "hate crimes against God" lmao
One of them, in particular, has gone into detail multiple times about what he thinks should be done to people like me or those who support them. It's, uh…not pretty. Let's just say he thinks fascism is perfectly fine and leave it at that.
When I move out- because I refuse to be stuck here forever- I'm hoping to be financially stable enough to afford a pet. I'm considering a snake, or maybe a bird, or a cat. Not all at once, obviously. However, when we were growing up, we only ever had dogs. The fascist parent is allergic to cats, so I can count on one hand the number of cats I've ever actually interacted with, and I'd need more than two hands and two feet to count the number of "throw the kittens in a sack and toss them into the river" "jokes" I've had to suffer through over the years.
I'm pretty sure there's no saving this familial connection. I want to tell them both who I am, but I can't do that until I have my own place because I know they're gonna react really fucking badly. They've told me so themselves.
…which brings me to my question. I guess it's not so much "WIBTA for encouraging the presence of animals one of my parents is allergic to as a measure to keep them away" and more "WIBTA for getting a pet that my parents might dislike enough to try and get rid of" iykwim.
What are these acronyms?
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We'll give it a shot
Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 30/31
Prompt: New year's resolutions
Rated: G
CW: aftermath of injury; aftermath of trauma
Tags: Established relationship; recovery; fluff
Notes: Continued from days 3 and 18 - @house-of-the-moving-image and I just wanted them to be happy after all we put them through. 😭❤️
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Steve has always been all movement, all fluid grace, for as long as Eddie remembers. On the pitch, in the pool. Shielding others with his own body, his strength. He was proud of this. It was the one thing he knew he was good at.
And then Vecna nearly twisted his limbs from his body. Broke his arm in three different places, his leg in five.
“They say I'll need to be patient,” Steve tells Eddie a few months after everything, hands tangled over the middle console of the van. It's late December and they're on their way back from physical therapy. “Could be months before I walk without crutches. Years maybe before I'm back to the way I was before… or close.”
Eddie clenches his free hand around the steering wheel, like Steve clung to that stupid handrail earlier. White-knuckled and pale-faced, jaw locked tight as he struggled to take a few shaky steps. Not for the first time, he wishes that he'd been faster, pulled him out sooner-
“Eds.”
He snaps back to the present as if pulled by a bungee rope. Steve’s eyes are warm and soft.
“Stop it,” he says, gentle and firm and so very strong, so very Steve. Eddie needs to swallow against the sudden thickness clogging his throat. “You've nothing to hold against yourself. You saved me.”
“You saved yourself,” Eddie huffs, eyes stubbornly trained on the snowy road. “I helped, is all. You can do this, too. You'll be walking in no time, you just wait.”
“Dunno,” Steve mutters. He sounds so small, so broken, so very much not like himself, and Eddie wishes he could resurrect Vecna, simply to kill him again. Make it more painful this time, let him suffer like he made them suffer. “You saw me just now. Feels like I need to fight forever for every little inch of success.”
“Let's make a deal?”
The words are out before Eddie can think better of it, but the sadness on Steve’s face has given way to curiosity, so he shoulders on.
“We could make it a new year's resolution. If you manage to walk by … July, let's say, I'll quit smoking.”
“Oh, please!” Steve's eyebrow quirks. “As if you could.”
“Of course I could. I'm tired of you whining about my cigarette breath anyhow. What's wrong, big boy? Scared of getting your ass handed to you?”
“Fuck off,” Steve grouses, but his mouth is curling into a smile and his eyes are sparkling. “It's on, dude!”
“Hell, yeah!” Eddie makes no attempt at hiding his smug grin. Count on Steve’s competitive streak to win him over. “It's so on!”
*
“Oh God,” Steve squawks the second his hands lose contact with the crutches. “It's off. Eds, it's off, give’m here.”
“Nuh-uh!” Eddie dances a step back - not far, still close enough to catch Steve in case he falls, but far enough to keep the crutches out of reach. “Just give it a shot, c’mon. You got this.”
Over the distance between them, their eyes meet.
“I've gotcha.”
Steve's eyes light up and a small laugh bubbles from his throat.
And then he walks.
Eddie makes sure to stay a bit ahead, spouting a never-ending string of encouragement and jokes and sweet nonsense. Just keeps talking so that Steve can focus on something other than the fear and the doubt. Guides him with his voice like he's done before, like he'll keep doing for as long as Steve needs, as long as he wants.
The first steps are unsure and wobbly, but soon enough, Steve finds his footing. They've both kicked off their shoes, and the dry summer grass is brittle under their naked feet, the earth soft and warm. The sound of their footfalls mingles with the whirr of the cicadas in the grass, the rush of his own blood in his ears, their mingled laughter, a gorgeous, wonderful symphony of alive, alive, alive.
When Steve’s legs give out and he stumbles, Eddie is there. He cushions their fall with his own body and they go down in a tangle of limbs and laughter, lips meeting before they even hit the ground. The crutches go clattering somewhere to the side.
“I did it!” Steve gasps against his mouth, and Eddie can't tell if the sound is more laugh or more sob. “Shit, did you- did you see that? I did it!”
“You did it,” Eddie rumbles, hands in Steve's hair, kissing his lips and nose and eyes and anything he can reach between words. Both their cheeks are wet with tears, but they're good tears, finally good tears, and he can’t tell whose they are anymore. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that they’re alive, and here, and together. “Fuck yeah, you did, always knew you would. So strong, so amazing. Love you so much.”
Steve makes another sound, a raw thing so full of emotion it makes Eddie’s heart flutter, and crashes their lips together again, firmer, longer. Eddie sighs as a hesitant tongue coaxes at his lips, opens up, lets him in.
And then Steve groans and pulls back.
“What?” Eddie asks, insides twisting with worry. “Shit, did you hurt yourself? What-”
“‘m fine!” Steve wheezes, glancing up at him with watery eyes. “You just taste like an ashtray, is all.”
“Oh, c'mon!” Eddie grouses while Steve rolls off him, flops onto his back in the grass. “I had like half a cig this morning.”
“Half a cig too much, then,” Steve beams up at him, all glinting teeth and gold-streaked hair in the sunlight, eyes sparkling with mirth and alive, alive, alive. “I win.”
Eddie pouts. “What though? Can't remember agreeing on a prize, this was all fun and-”
One strong, nimble hand tangles in the collar of his shirt, pulls him in.
“Shut up and kiss me, ash breath.”
Eddie has never obeyed an order more gladly in his life.
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All my holiday drabbles
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roz-ani · 3 months
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I think that rushing the plot is Hazbin's biggest flaw so far. Certainly, one we can already see. We've only got 4 episodes, and so much has happened already. It might just be my personal interest in the overlords etc., but I kinda feel like we're not focusing that much on, we'll, the show's title. The Hotel.
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Episode 3 shows it pretty well, because what can you tell me about Carmilla? I mean, what you knew about her character that wasn't presented in the episode. Same with Vaggie. I thought this episode's plot was about her learning how to trust people other than Charlie. That's how we started, then she had a rushed identity crisis related to being useful in her girlfriend's plan, and somehow she came to the conclusion she should start working on her trust issues. Only one thing was hinted at in the pilot. Vaggie and Carmilla shared a song in episode 3, and I can say with all confidence that it was unnecessary. Telling a character's story through a song doesn't mean they progress faster. Not in the way this show intends to. They did manage to do that with Angel in the next episode. I suppose they could've given the song to Vaggie and postponed the Carmilla reveal. After all, why should we focus so much on her while having so many Hotel residents?
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When it comes to Alastor, for example, I believe it's much easier to enjoy his character because we don't really know what his deal is. We have yet to find out why he was gone, we can watch out for his rivalry with Vox and how he's gonna use the information about the exterminator's death. I don't know if it's the pressure, but it seems like we're expected to already know everything about the characters and just enjoy whatever the creators promised they'd do with them. And this is only the first season. There's a reason why these are used for establishing certain aspects of the created world and let the characters develop later. Like, I sincerely hope we're not done with Angel Dust's story arc because the 4th episode basically told us what his problem is and made him change his mind about his situation.
The show certainly suffers due to its format - 8 episodes and roughly 20 minutes per one. It seems like it's not enough for what they've planned, or, perhaps, the other way around. We have half of the season left, and it doesn't seem like the show will have time to improve on its pacing. We can only have hopes for a better-planned season 2.
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skribblezcorner · 3 months
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stupid silly zosan (again)
Continuation of my tipsy Sanji post i made a couple of days ago!! you don't need to read that first if you didnt already but I am slowly nudging you.... to my page.... sumbliminally.... (go read it)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zoro is at his wit's end.
It's been close to half an hour, and he's wandering in the dark alleyways of this random ass town trying to get back to the ship. In addition to that, He's carrying a very drunk and very annoying Sanji on his back.
"Marimooo," he drawls, swaying to the side. "Where the fuck are we?"
"Stop fucking moving or I'm gonna drop you, cook."
The position they're in is precarious as it is, Sanji's legs wrapped around Zoro's waist the only thing really keeping them both upright.
The cook's hands come from where they're draped over Zoro's shoulders to poke at his face. "You don't even know where we're going, do you?`"
"Like you know either," Zoro grumbles.
"Yeah, but you're mostly sober," the cook slurs.
...Fair enough.
Sanji yawns, the action driving his chin harder into the top of Zoro's head. "You're talking too long, hurry up so we can get to the Sunny."
"Maybe if you stopped fidgeting, I could actually walk straight and we would get there faster." Zoro grunts, hoisting the lanky man higher up on his waist.
"Fuck you, I'll walk myself back to the ship then." Zoro thinks Sanji attempts to get off his back, but the cook slumps back down almost immediately after raising only his head. "No, no no. that's not happening. Christ, how much did I drink? Marimo, I'm gonna die from alcohol poisoning-"
Zoro lets Sanji lament about his booze-tinted doom, mainly because he's still trying to figure out where the fuck they are but also because the blond idiot does this every time they go out drinking. He gets piss drunk off of what, two shots? and Zoro has to haul his uncoordinated, mouthy ass all the way back to the Sunny. Bonus points if he stops to spew his guts in an alleyway. Sanji stops talking after a few minutes, but the silence doesn't last for long.
"Did I tell you. We're going... uh... grocery shoppi-"
"Yes. Yes, you did, Curly. Six goddamn times."
"Okay, don't be a dick about it!" He feels the cook's spindly fingers sluggishly tug at his hair, pulling his head sideways and making them more unsteady than they already are.
"Stop. Moving," Zoro hisses as he stumbles. "You're fucking heavy."
Sanji giggles from behind him, and Zoro can feel the vibrations across his back as the blond speaks. "Oh, 'm sorry, you directionally challenged wad of grass. Maybe if you went the right way you wouldn't have to carry me any longer." "Shut up! It's too dark, everything looks the same."
"No, you're just fuckin'... what's the word? oh, incompetent. I bet you don't even know what incompetent means."
"I know what incompetent means."
"God, I'm so dizzy," Sanji groans.
"Stop complaining!"
They bicker back and forth, Sanji spewing insults in his ear while Zoro barks at him to shut up and wonders how many times they've passed that street lamp on the corner. Sometime during that, Sanji's head makes it into the crook of the other man's neck, and every time the cook speaks his lips brush over Zoro's shoulder. His hands have also taken up permanent residence in Zoro's hair, combing through the short strands as he complains endlessly. Zoro can't say he minds.
"Ah, we're lost," Sanji whines in his ear. "Completely, irre....irrevocably lost. Marimo, the ship was ten minutes from the barrrr."
"We're almost there, you impatient prick." They are not, in fact, almost there. Zoro trudges past what he feels like is the same house he saw fifteen minutes ago.
"Good... because m'gonna pass out."
"What?" The cook doesn't speak, and his fingers go slack on top of Zoro's head. "No, cook - damn it, wake up." Nothing but Sanji's soft breaths sound as a response.
Zoro looks around, surrounded by rows of dark houses and no boat in sight.
He heaves a long-suffering sigh. "God fucking dammit."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zoro struggles for another 30 minutes trying to find the ship with Sanji as a dead weight the entire time. he hated it (not really).
Sanji, for the 27th time: we're going grocery shopping tomorrow Zoro, tired of his bullshit: I KNOW.
ugh theyre such dumb homosexuals making bad life choices. i want to make them kiss.
Every day at 3am I rise from my coffin to write zosan content. they make me sick <3333
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