#Was this an excuse to look up facts about crow behaviour? yes

[spectralscathath]

In Another Perfect Life

Fair Game Week, Day 4: Soulmates/Birds

Everyone on Remnant has a leitmotif, a soul melody that they know from the moment they’re born. It was said that singing or humming your leitmotif causes it to play in your soulmate’s head. It was lucky to have a soulmate, some said. Someone who had a deep tie to you, beyond the limits of friendship and family and even romance, in some cases.

Qrow, since the universe saw the word ‘lucky’ and cackled maliciously, had no less than three damn soul melodies in his head, aside from his own.

He wanted to file a complaint.

Ao3 Link

Qrow heard Tyrian’s stupid fucking soulsong start up in the back of his head and viciously kicked the wall. Stupid fucking murder soulmate. Raven’s bitch ass tune he could deal with, she was his twin, even if she was a goddamn fucking harlot who fucked off and also tried to kill him. At least she almost never hummed her stupid melody.

Tyrian, though? Every. Fucking. Day.

It wasn’t until Qrow had heard Tyrian humming it under his breath as they tried to kill each other in Oniyuri that the creepily cool leitmotif had turned into a source of unending annoyance.

Apparently murder soulmates were definitely a thing, and Qrow was going to wring Tyrian’s neck until he never had to hear that damned tune in his head again.

It would be nice if Number Three could start doing their thing again. Qrow hadn’t heard that person do anything with their melody in a while.

Knowing his luck, Person Three would also try to kill him.

Tyrian started in again on another rendition of his stupid theme song and Qrow gritted his teeth, pursing his lips as he whistled his own melody to try drown out Callows, and maybe annoy him as well.

The next reprise of Tyrian’s soulsong sounded smug. Qrow was gonna rip off what was left of his tail and shove it so far up Tyrian’s arse the faunus would be tasting his own venom for weeks.

Screw it.

He stomped past the briefing room where everyone else was waiting, shoved open the nearest window, and jumped out without the slightest hesitation. If nothing else, he could at least try to clear his head with a flight.

Or, he thought as he shifted forms with a touch of magic, he could hunt down the maniacal bastard and pay him back for the poisoning.

His wings flapped in the cold breeze as he headed off, unfortunately missing Clover looking outside the briefing room with a confused-yet-hopeful grin.

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In the Xiao Long household, there was a bookshelf that was stacked with books that were all about animals. Lots of illustrated guides and glossaries. At least three were about bugs, Ruby had a fascination for creepy-crawlies as a kid, with another devoted specifically to the different species of arachnids. There was a book on dogs, birdwatcher guides to just about everywhere Qrow had visited when he’d had the lien to pick one up, a couple of others about wildlife in general, and then there was one that sat, not on the shelf, but on the coffee table.

The Illustrated Encyclopedia Of Remnant’s Corvids, by Dr Jay Jackdaw.  

A gift from Summer, once she and Tai had calmed down about the whole ‘turning into birds’ thing. She was such a brat.

He’d ended up reading it, cover-to-cover, just to make sure that nothing would surprise him about any possible side effects. Ozpin had said there wouldn’t be, but hey, turned out he was wrong.

Qrow didn’t know if it was his natural thief tendencies, honed from being raised as a bandit and a scavenger, or if it was bleed over from his corvid form, but he had a fascination with shiny trinkets. One look at a small treasure hoard stored in a box in Tai’s room gave that away.

But it wasn’t just his tendency to purloin new sparklies, it was all the other random stuff. The way he liked to mess around with people’s hair if he liked them, from messing up Ruby’s do to scruffing Tai’s mop with both hands, gentle carding of calloused fingers through Yang’s golden locks as he treated it with the same care that she did.

Even James got it, with playful flicks to that one piece of his hair that always fell over his face. Then there was the slightly weirder things that couldn’t be brushed off as normal quirkiness, like how he had a tendency to squawk when he got surprised in a sound that was way too similar to a caw.

There was the way his pupils pinned when emotional, which wasn’t technically a crow trait, it was a parrot thing. Tai, resident nerd, had brought that up with Ozpin and gotten a shrug and the answer of ‘it’s magic’. Summer had always liked how his hair fluffed out sometimes, like a bird’s feathers. Head cocks were fairly standard, and he couldn’t really complain about the other eccentricities either.

Not when the usefulness of his bird form far outweighed literally any downside.

It was a weird, nonsensical train of thought,stupid and really irrelevant to his current hunt, but thinking about bird facts and the effects they had on himself was still better then Tyrian’s fuckin-ass clown music. 

He hated that guy.

He broke out of his musings as he heard Number Three’s soulsong enter his head, clear as mud, the sound dimmed by his different form. He flapped his wings as he scanned for a good perch, landing on a streetlight as his talons clicked on the cold metal. He cocked his head, listening to the melody in his head.

It was a lot more jaunty and triumphant to Raven’s dirge and Tyrian’s whatever-the-fuck. He knew his own was able to be both victorious and melancholic at the same time, depending on how fast he strung the notes together in his head.

Number Three reminded him of an honest-to-gods sea shanty, sometimes. Made him think of rolling waves or still waters. Raven’s put him in mind of cold shadows and moonlight scattered by clouds, and Tyrian’s was fucking clown music or something stupid like that, fuck, Qrow hated that slimy bastard.

It was nice to hear Person Three was still around though.

Speaking of, it would be smartest to head back to Atlas. He’d missed whatever mission he was assigned for today, instead hunting down Tyrian himself from the skies. Nothing, not that he expected to spot the faunus when the sun was out. Tyrian was a predator, he’d probably stick to the natural advantage the darkness gave his faunus eyes.

Not only that, but people feared the night, as a whole. Night time was when people were vulnerable, when they slept, when they locked up their homes and tried to avoid the unsavoury types lurking out in the shadows.

Only two people worked at night, in Qrow’s opinion. Criminals and Huntsmen.

He flew in through his own window, always left open just in case, and landed in a crouch, straightening up and fixing his hair before he opened the door to a set of seafoam green eyes and a shiny clover pin.

Sometimes he really wanted to nick that pin, but he refrained. Personal trinkets to others were something he’d long since made off-limits to himself.

Still, this was a surprise. “Clover. Hey. What’s up?”

“You missed briefing,” Clover’s hands were folded behind his back, but there wasn’t accusation on his face. Rather, he looked pleased and like he was trying to hide it. “Any reason why?”

“Went looking for Tyrian.” There was a vibrant purple scar on his side that was going to be a permanent reminder of their first duel. “Didn’t find him.”

“You should be more careful, instead of going off alone. Our records show that he’s a very dangerous individual.” Clover’s hidden enthusiasm faded to concern.

Qrow shrugged it off. “Yeah, I know. He and I had a fight.”

“In Oniyuri? That’s what Ren, Nora and Ruby said after the rally.”

Qrow crossed his arms. “Bingo.” He should probably invite Clover into the shoebox that James had given him access to. Letting him stand in the doorway seemed weird. “You coming in?”

Clover blinked and recovered. “Oh- yeah, sure, of course.” He stepped in and waited for Qrow to give him the nod before sitting down. “You fought him and he apparently nearly killed you. Next time it would be best for you to bring back up.”

“We had a mutual aura break.” If Ruby had just stayed out of the way then he would have won, or at least taken the freak down with him. “I’ll get him next time.”

“I see. Well, next time, make sure you call it in so that-” there was a moment’s hesitation as Clover seemed to skip over whatever word he was about to say, before continuing smoothly like the break had never happened, “there can be back up ready to cover for you.” Clover looked him in the eye. “Alright?”

Qrow looked back, and realised that Clover was offering to be that back up. That he was asking Qrow to promise not to go in alone. Qrow’s mouth felt a little dry as he nodded, before deciding to not be a jerk and actually answer. “Yeah. Okay.”

Clover’s determined look softened a little as he smiled, laugh lines creasing in his face. They were similar to the crow’s feet that were forming at the creases of Qrow’s eyes, and they suited Clover, made him look steady. Steady was good, compared to Qrow’s life of unpredictability.

Qrow realised he was maybe staring a little bit when Clover quirked a brow curiously, his greying hair fluffing up as he dropped his eyes to his hands, fiddling with his rings and spinning one on his finger. “So. Anything else?”

“No, that’s everything.” Clover was still smiling, and Qrow had a mad thought of inviting him to stick around and hang out for the night.

He shook that off too. Probably wouldn’t be a good idea. “Cool. I’m gonna head out, check on the kids. See you at the briefing?”

Clover looked almost put out by that, but he smiled gracefully and stood, brushing off his uniform and flicking his pin. Weird. Qrow thought he only did that when he wanted to be extra lucky. Clover paid no heed to Qrow’s cocked head and raised brow as he spoke. “I’ll see you there. Enjoy your evening, Qrow.”

“You too, Shamrock.” He gave him a wave off as the ace operative walked by, hands folding behind his back as he stepped out. Qrow couldn’t help but watch him go, noticing a faint bounce to Clover’s steps before he heard the man humming something, the sound fading into the ambient noise as he left.

That was Soulmate Number Three’s tune.

Qrow grinned. Son of a bitch.

-----

I’m very excited for tomorrow. Thought you ought to know.

#Fair Game #fairgameweek2020 #Clover Ebi #Qrow Branwen #rwby #Was this an excuse to look up facts about crow behaviour? yes #am I sorry? no #my writings

[fics-n-stuff]

Home

Pairing: Kaz Brekker × Reader

Summary: Y/N and Kaz were once childhood friends, later reunited in the Barrel. After a business dealing went awry, Y/N has been in hiding for almost a year and the time apart has brought up a lot of feelings for Kaz.

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: touch aversion, alcohol consumption

A/N: I haven't actually read SoC yet but I have done my research so I really hope I wrote Kaz accurately enough 🤞🏽 Let me know!! I left the reader gender neutral so all parties can enjoy 😁

Update: Pt 2 here!

You stared out of the window, watching the nightlife of the Barrel in full swing below you. It had been almost a year since you had been able to be a part of it all and, even though you had lived in Ketterdam all your life, you felt like an outsider now.

There was a knock on the door and you froze, head tilting to listen out for any threat. After a moment there was another knock, loud and heavy – certainly not the result of somebody’s knuckle hitting the wood. With a sigh, you stood up from the window ledge and crossed the room to the door.

Kaz was waiting on the other side, looking unamused as ever, and you waved him inside quickly and hurriedly shut the door behind him.

“I am one of three people that knock on your door, Y/N.” He said flatly, removing his hat and placing it atop your desk.

“I can’t be too careful, never know when someone might come sniffing around here.” You replied with a shrug. Kaz hummed shortly in acknowledgment before producing a small stack of envelopes from his coat. You snatched them from him eagerly, but careful to ensure that your fingers made no contact with his gloved ones.

“I’m getting tired of being your courier.”

“Well, I’m getting tired of being in hiding.” You huffed, leafing through your letters. “But I’d rather not walk around in a city where I’m actively being hunted.”

“You shouldn’t have gotten caught then.” Your head snapped towards Kaz at that, and you raised your eyebrows challengingly.

“I should slap you for that.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Kaz’s face remained largely unchanged but you could see the shine of amusement in his eyes.

You had first met Kaz as a child, while visiting family in the village where his family lived. He was a sweet child, and you had struck up a fast friendship in the few months you spent there. You had even written letters back and forth for a couple of years until one time you never got a reply.

When you met again years later, entirely by chance, Kaz was a changed person. Your family’s fortune had taken a steep downturn and you found yourself alone, living in a tiny room in a boarding house in the Barrel, when Kaz came across you pickpocketing outside the Crow Club. He had recognised you, but you hadn’t recognised him at first. Everything about him was so departed from the sweet boy that you had known as a child.

He refused to tell you what had happened to change him in this way. He never gave you a cause for the ruthless person he had become to climb the ranks of the Dregs and earn the name Dirtyhands, never even told you what had brought him to Ketterdam at all other than that his father had died. He never pushed you away though. Kept you at arms length, yes, but he never tried to dissuade you from sticking around.

The longer you knew him the more you realised that he wasn’t as cold as his demeanour portrayed. He was fiercely loyal, you could see it in the way that he was with his Crows, and you were certain that he would do anything to protect those he cared about most. You admired that about him.

“You don’t have to come, you know. You could send Inej with my letters, she already delivers me food.” You said, turning away at the realisation that you had been looking at each other in silence for a few seconds too long. You went to sit down, picking up the envelope from the top of the pile and pulling up the wax seal. Kaz didn’t respond for a long while. You tried to read your letter but found yourself distracted with anticipation of what he would say, if he said anything at all.

“I commend your commitment to your business.” He said finally, and you smiled at the compliment. “Eleven months trapped in this apartment and you’re still keeping up with it all.”

“Being in hiding is no excuse to get lazy. If anything, it gives me more of a reason to keep on top of things. Work keeps me sane and keeps coin in my pocket.”

“And how long do you intend to keep conducting your business through letters and underlings?”

“For as long as I have to, Kaz. You know that.” You answered with a quiet sigh, setting down the letter that you definitely hadn’t been reading and turning your head to face him again. You saw his jaw tense and the grip on his cane tighten, but you didn’t know what it meant. You were worried that somehow you had done or said something to upset him.

You had learned, in the few years since your reunion, that sometimes even the most seemingly innocuous things could put Kaz in a black mood. You had caught on quickly to the way that he avoided touch at all costs, and adapted your behaviour accordingly. He had still never told you why being touched triggered such a strong reaction in him, but he knew that you would always respect that fact.

It didn’t matter to you what traumas Kaz had suffered to create these traits in him, only that you knew how to navigate being in his space without violating his boundaries, because deep down you knew that Kaz was the most important person in your life. He took you in and offered you support when you needed it, given you structure and taught you skills to survive without even necessitating that you use those skills to serve his gang, all because of the friendship that you had shared as children. It didn’t matter how heartless people said the Bastard of the Barrel was, you knew that Kaz cared; perhaps not in the same way that you had come to care for him, but he did care.

“Maybe you should go, I’m sure you have work of your own to do.” You mumbled, your eyes drifting downwards anxiously. “And anyway, I have letters to read.”

“I could protect you.” He blurted. His voice was a little louder than usual, his tone less flat, and your brow furrowed in confusion and curiosity. “We could. The Crows, and the Dregs.”

“I don’t need your protection.”

“But you’d have it.”

You turned fully in your chair, straddling it with one leg either side of the backrest, and leant your forearms on the top of it. There was something in Kaz’s eyes that you’d never seen before and, although you prided yourself on being able to tell how Kaz was feeling and what he might be thinking about, you couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Do you know something that I don’t?” You questioned.

“Of course not.”

“Do you suddenly not trust my ability to keep myself safe?”

“Nothing like that, Y/N.”

“Then what?” You rested your chin on your arms, looking up at him expectantly. He held your gaze, but you could see the cogs turning in his brain as he calculated his next sentence. You were preparing for an argument to start, so you certainly didn’t expect the words that came from him next.

“I’m concerned about how long you’ve been alone here.” He answered. You blinked.

“Concerned?” Your voice cracked a little with your surprise, and Kaz clenched his jaw as he averted his eyes from you.

“I just thought that maybe all this time on your own might have had some affect on you. And I... hold a certain sense of responsibility.” His voice never wavered or faltered, other than the one pause there was no suggestion in his speech that the words held any significance to him, but you could see the tension in his shoulders and the tight grip that he maintained on his cane.

You narrowed your eyes, taking a moment to examine his face and his demeanour. Everything about him was wound tight, like he was making a particularly tricky deal rather than talking to a friend – you hoped that he considered you a friend – and though he was looking in your general direction you noted his avoidance of eye contact.

“If I didn’t know better I’d think you were saying that you miss me, Mr Brekker.” You said, your mouth turning in a small smirk. You saw Kaz’s chest tighten as he silently took in a sharp breath, and you chuckled lightly. “I’m fine, Kaz. Inej visits often enough, and I’m happy to see you when you deliver my letters. I will say though, I miss drinking with your Crows.”

Truthfully, you did feel rather trapped in your tiny apartment. For almost a whole year your entire world had consisted of only three rooms, and even if you didn’t admit it you were going slightly mad. Not being able to leave was frustrating, and living your whole life in one room (because really, who spends that much of their day in the bathroom or kitchen?) made you feel like a caged animal.

He didn’t reply. He also didn’t move. You watched him, standing straight and stiff as ever in the middle of the room, for a few moments. Usually he would have said something or made a move to leave, so you knew that he was deep in thought about something. You slouched further down against the backrest of your chair.

“If you’re planning on sticking around then you should at least sit down.” You sighed. “I have some kvas, or whisky if you’d prefer.” Kaz shook his head no to the drink but made a move towards the window seat. You watched him cross the room and sit down, his grip remaining on his cane as he placed it between his knees. “What’s on your mind, Kaz?”

“It’s not important.”

“That can’t be true.”

“And why is that?” He questioned dully.

“Because you’re still here, with me, staring into space like you’re waiting for the wind to tell you a secret.” He looked at you then, and you could see a conflict swirling behind his eyes. You resisted the urge to furrow your brow in worry. He still didn’t say anything, and that didn’t do anything to ease your concern because Kaz Brekker was not often one to be at a loss for words. “Is something wrong?”

“Yes.” He murmured, his head nodding slightly.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” You asked softly. He looked into your eyes for a few seconds before turning his head away, clearly deciding not to answer. You were almost expecting him to get up and leave the apartment right then, remove himself from the uncomfortable situation like he had been known to do before, but he made no move to stand.

You stood instead, abruptly moving through to the tiny kitchen and pouring a glass of whisky for yourself. You took a long sip as you came back out into the living space, picking up a wooden staff on your way. You kept up your combat training while in hiding, though it wasn’t often that you got an opponent.

“Humour me, will you?” You smiled, spinning the staff in your hand and setting your drink down.

“There’s not much space in here.” Kaz commented.

“Then we’ll be careful. Get up and fight me, coward.” You goaded. He gave you an incredulous look but stood anyway, tossing his cane up and grabbing it at it’s middle as he came towards you. Your grin broadened, and you waited just until the was in your range before you swung at him.

Your staff collided with his cane, moved up just in time to block your attack, and he watched you with challenging amusement. You let him make the next attack, knocking his cane away when he swung it towards you.

You exchanged blows, each of you managing to block all of the other’s attacks but you were starting to corner him. It seemed like you were about to get the upper hand when he swiped his cane towards your middle, making you jump back, and before you could move to swing on him he had pushed the crow’s head handle into your chest, not so hard that it was painful but with enough force to knock you backwards.

You landed on the edge of your bed with a groan, letting the staff drop from your hand in defeat.

“No fair, your cane is basically an extension of your arm.” You grumbled. Kaz let out a short breath, the closest thing to a laugh that anyone could get from him.

“You picked the fight.” He shrugged, lowering his cane and righting it at his hip. “I could have told you that you wouldn’t win it.”

“Mean!” You exclaimed in exaggerated offense, sitting up. When you looked at Kaz his expression was soft, the worry behind his eyes seemingly eased, and you smiled. “I could beat you if it was hand to hand.”

“I don’t doubt that.” He replied, the almost compliment catching you by surprise once again.

It had been a while since you and Kaz had spent any significant amount of time together. He was a busy man, particularly so over the last few months it seemed, so other than his brief drop-ins to deliver your letters you hadn’t seen him. It was nice to have his company again, even if he was a little off.

“Do you remember those drawings of Ketterdam that I used to send you with my letters?” You questioned softly, tucking your knees up to your chest. “I used to walk around the city looking for spots to sketch. I’d spend hours sitting on the street with my pencils trying to get the picture perfect to show you what it was like. I think, now, you probably know the city better than I do.” You smiled wistfully, resting your head on your knees as you looked up at Kaz. You saw his Adam’s apple bob with a swallow.

“You miss it, don’t you?” He asked.

“Of course.”

“You could go out there, stop hiding. You know I would look out for you.”

“I can’t put that burden on you, Kaz.” You chuckled lightly. “Enough people want you dead already, you don’t need to be looking after me while I’m being actively hunted.”

“How long do you plan on staying locked in here then?”

“As long as it takes, we went through this earlier. I have a big deal coming up, with the money from that I’d be able to smooth over some edges and maybe I could come out of hiding in a few months.” You theorised. “I’d still have to watch over my shoulder all the time but it would be an improvement.” Kaz’s jaw tightened again, and he bristled with agitation.

You hugged your knees tighter, doubt and worry overcoming you. Was Kaz not okay with coming to see you here anymore? Was he trying to get you out of hiding to lighten the burden it had put on him, getting your letters delivered to the Crow Club and having to bring them to you? The thought of not being able to rely on his short visits was enough to fill your chest with a mixture of dread and guilt.

“Like I said before, you don’t have to keep coming if that’s the problem.” You added, hiding the dejection in your voice. “Inej can-"

“No.” He interrupted bluntly. You blinked, pressing your lips together in contemplation. Was he upset that Inej was bringing supplies for you? Or worse, had something happened to her? Was that what was bothering him so much tonight?

“Why not?”

“Because I-" He cut himself off. He took a step back as if regaining his balance, his gaze falling to the floor, and you watched him flex his fingers around his cane as he organised his words. “Do you remember how you got sick while you were visiting your family?”

“Kaz.” You murmured tentatively, craning your neck to try and get a better look at his face that was turned away from you. Kaz didn’t like to talk about the past. Even bringing up the letters that you sent each other had been pushing it, but for him to choose to talk about your childhood was something he had never done before. Still now, it looked like the mention of the past was making him nauseous as he moved to sit down in the window once again. Your curiosity was growing by the second.

“You got sick and you could hardly get out of bed for almost a fortnight.” He continued, dismissing your concern. “I went to visit you every day. I picked flowers for you to make you feel better, and your mother baked oatmeal cookies but I refused to have any unless you did because you weren’t eating enough.”

“I remember.” You nodded. “You never let my glass of water get empty. It was sweet. But why does it matter now?”

“I can’t... I can’t stop worrying about you. But unlike when we were kids, I can’t just walk up the street and check on you every day.”

You felt as if all the air had been knocked out of your lungs and for a second you genuinely wondered if you had made that up in your head. Kaz very rarely expressed any emotion – the mask he wore hardly ever slipped – but here he was telling you that he worried about you. For Kaz, that was practically him baring his soul for you to see.

“You don’t have to worry about me.” You said shakily. “I’ve been fine so far, haven’t I?”

“But what if you’re not fine for much longer? As long as you’re holed up here I can’t keep you safe, and I can’t come to check on you because if I come here too often people might notice. Honestly, it’s a miracle that they haven’t already.”

“I didn’t think you believed in miracles.” You mumbled. Kaz glanced up at you, and the vulnerability on his face was unlike anything you’d seen before. It struck you in the heart and made you feel a need to comfort him, to put him at ease. “I can take care of myself, Kaz. I promise."

He was silent for a moment, his gaze downcast once again, then he took a deep breath and spoke.

“I think I’ll take that drink now.”

You watched him for just a second before you got up, crossing over to your desk and picking up the glass of whiskey that you had left there. The glass was half full since you had admittedly poured a little too generously.

You held it out to Kaz, who reached for it without looking. Although you were careful to hold the glass at the very top, his gloved fingers still brushed slightly over yours as he took a hold of it. He immediately stiffened, and you were quick to pull your hand away, taking a step back to give him space. He downed the drink in one, his face scrunching just slightly at the burn it left in his throat as he set the glass down by his feet.

“I just want to be able to watch over you.” He said, his voice barely more than a whisper, and you could practically see how difficult it was for him to verbalise his feelings.

“I think... I understand what you mean, Kaz. But I’m safer staying here than being out there, even with the Dregs protecting me. You have to know that, right?”

Kaz pushed a peice of hair out of his face, his gloved hand smoothing over his head as he let out a long and quiet sigh. Finally, he looked up at you.

“I know.” He answered.

“I appreciate your concern though.” You smiled. “Honestly, I didn’t think you cared about me that much. Or, well, I knew you cared but I just didn’t think... nevermind.”

“You didn’t think what?” Kaz’s question made you pause, anxiety pooling in your chest as you contemplated coming clean about your feelings. You thought about lying, about keeping your secrets to yourself, but Kaz had been so sincere it only felt right to return his honesty. With a deep breath, you worked up the courage to finally tell him the truth.

“I didn’t think that you cared as much as I do.” You replied. The sentence hung in the air for a moment as you moved back to sit in your desk chair, heart pounding in your chest. “I’ve kind of found myself caring a lot, actually. I think it’s only fair, really. I mean, I kind of owe you my life and all so it makes sense that I care. That’s not to say that it’s sensible but it is at least understandable, I guess.”

You bit your lip to stop your rambling, dropping your head so that you didn’t have to look at Kaz. There was a long stretch of silence.

“I care more than I might show.” He spoke softly, much more softly than you think you’d ever heard his voice. When you looked up Kaz was gazing right back at you, your eyes locking and his stare going deep into your soul. He didn’t need to say more, that simple sentence and the look in his eyes were enough to tell you what he was confessing. A smile pulled at your lips.

“Be careful what you admit, Brekker, or I might think that you’re going soft.” You joked, and he shook his head lightly in amusement. You leaned forward with your elbows on your knees, letting go of the anxiety that had been coursing through you.

“I'm serious, Y/N."

“I know. You don’t make a habit of saying things that you don’t mean.” You nodded. You glanced up at the clock on your wall with a sigh. “You really should get going, it’s dangerous for us both for you to stay too long.”

“Yes, I suppose so.” He muttered.

He stood after a moment, his hand flexing over the crow’s head handle of his cane. You reached back to pick his hat up from the desk, and he held a hand out for it, but instead of passing it to him you placed atop your own head. It was too big, and you had to push it back on your head so it didn’t slide over your face.

“You know, I rather like you without the hat.” You smiled.

“Is that so?”

“Yep. I can see your face better this way so I can tell when your emotions manage to break through.” Kaz’s lips quirked upwards a little as he took the hat from your head and put it on his own. You jutted your lip out in an exaggerated pout and he let out a huff that seemed suspiciously close to a laugh.

“Do you have any letters you need me to send out?”

“No, not this time.”

“Alright, then I’ll be on my way.” He gave a quick nod and turned towards the door. He had only taken a couple of steps when you twisted in your chair and called after him .

“Kaz.” He stopped and turned back to you. “I’m doing what I can to get out of this apartment, I promise.”

“That’s not something that you owe me, Y/N. It’s your freedom and your safety. But I await the day that you come waltzing into the Crow Club ready to make Jesper lose all the coin in his pocket.” He replied lightly, making you smile. “And if you need anything then I’m here, all you have to do is ask.”

“Thank you, not just for this but for everything. Everything that you’ve given me since that night outside the Crow Club. I might be dead if it weren’t for you.” You let sentiment out freely, finally feeling able to show your heart to Kaz now that you knew that your affections weren’t one sided. His expression softened, and he seemed to contemplate something deeply, before he took a single step back towards you and held out one gloved hand.

You hesitated, unsure if he was initiating what you were thinking, but he maintained eye contact. He gave a small nod, a mix of permission and encouragement, and you tentatively reached for his outstretched hand.

Kaz took in a deep breath when your hand made contact with his, and you watched him carefully ready to pull your hand away. After a moment he released the breath, wrapping his fingers lightly around yours and running his thumb over your knuckles.

“You’re the closest thing to home that I have.” He croaked. “I didn’t want to lose that.”

“You won’t.” You affirmed. Kaz released your hand, and you found yourself missing the feeling of the leather glove. He took a small step back, trying to hide the shake in his breathing.

“I’ll come back soon, as soon as it’s safe to.”

“Okay.” You smiled. “I’ll see you then.”

Kaz left the apartment without another word between you, he paused before closing the door after himself just to look at you for a moment longer. You watched out of the window to see him leave the building and start off through the street, a broad smile on your face.

#shadow and bone #six of crows #shadow and bone netflix #sab #sab netflix #soc #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker fic #kaz brekker oneshot #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #crooked kingdom #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #dirtyhands #bastard of the barrel

[rwbyvein]

Firen Lhain: Chapter 707: Briar Patch:  Part III/III

The airship landed in the clearing, dwarfing the one already there. The back opened and a line of Atlasian Knights stepped out, followed quickly by General Ironwood. Soon after appeared Taiyang and Raven.

"Dad!" Ruby exclaimed, and Petal Burst to her father.

"Uh, dad?!" Jaune shouted, as he walked up.

"Heyya, kiddo!" Tai replied, waving at him with his free arm.

"Raven." Yang said.

"Yang." Raven said.

"Couldn't you?.." Taiyang tried to ask Yang, but quickly gave up.

"She's made her choice," Raven said, "and I respect that."

Taiyang looked at her nervously, but it did sound like genuine respect.

"So?," Raven asked, "I'm here to guard Cinder?"

"Yep!" Ruby shouted. "We'll be a family again!"

"You maybe didn't think this might cause some problems?" Yang asked.

"I know you two haven't been getting along," Ruby said, "but..."

"Ruby?" Weiss asked her.

"Yes?" Ruby asked, and Weiss leaned in to whisper into her ear. Ruby developed a full-face blush and hid under her hood.

"Ahhh, young love." Raven dejctedly said, and then turned to Taiyang, "Remember when we were like that?"

"No." Taiyang replied, which caused Raven to start snickering.

"Alright, so, when we get there, where are we going to keep them?"

"We have a dungeon!" Nora exclaimed, "It's really spooky, though we couldn't find the ghost."

"I had a feeling..." Ironwood stated.

"Oh?" an intruiged Raven asked.

"It came with the castle." Jaune stated.

"I'm sure nothing kinky happens there." Raven stated.

"Well," Yang said, "not now that we have prisoners." This caused Weiss to let out a loud, drawn out scoff. "What?" Yang asked, "Oh, shit!"

"I know you're an adult now," Taiyang said to her, "but you don't have to swear."

"And you can be as boring as your father." Raven said to Yang.

"You don't swear, either, Rae." Taiyang said to her, and she developed a wicked smile.

"I find swears imprecise."

"And you know," Taiyang sensually said to her, "I can keep your attention."

Raven nervously looked about.

"Alright," Blake stated, "this is going all kinds of places, but we're here for a reason."

"Jaune's an Earl!" Nora exclaimed, "Or something."

"Pardon?" Ironwood asked, and Jaune pulled the Letters-Patent from behind his back and showed it to Ironwood. "The?, Black Hart?" Ironwood asked.

"Did I hear that right?!" someone called out, and then turned to see Oscar with glowing green eyes and spinning his cane as he stepped down the ramp from the airship.

"Ozpin?" Ironwood asked.

"Oz will do." Ozpin stated, "Is it true that this letter is from the Black Hart?"

"You know about it?" Ironwood asked him.

"He is older than the earliest Humans." Ozpin stated, "Older than even the Grimm. He is the beast of the Woods of the Beast, and has so far kept Humans out of his realm. It is unthinkable for this to occur." He walked up and read the paper, "Indeed. The Black Hart has endowed him with a lordship."

"Told you!" Nora exclaimed.

"Ther is a problem." Ironwood stated, and crossed his hands behind his back, "Other than the fact he was given it by a being we didn't know existed, we no longer have nobles."

"We could still take this as recognition of the land." Ozpin stated, "the Brothers know that no one else could use it."

"The Atlas Council..." Ironwood tried to say.

"And who?," Weiss asked, "unprecedentedly, has two seats on the council?"

Ironwood stared at her with an unemotional face. "And exactly what am I going to tell them?" Ironwood asked.

"Perhaps?," Ozpin asked, "that castle you gave them came with the surrounding land, as most castles do."

Ironwood stared unemotionally at Oscar, and then the paper, and then Weiss. "I'll see what I can do."

"Now, dad," Ruby stated, "where's Uncle Qrow?"

"Soon to be at your castle." Raven stated. "When he gets there, we'll..."

"Open up a portal!" Ruby exclaimed.

Ironwood looked at the paper before looking back up at the collected. "Did you want me to stay around?"

Everyone just stared at him. Ren waited until it was apparent no one else would speak, "The question seems genuine." Another pregnant pause followed.

"I'm sure," Weiss said, "having two seats on the council, he has more than enough to occupy his time."

Ironwood handed the paper back to Jaune, "Enjoy your new forest." He turned back to the airship, and the Knights started filing back in. Oscar's bearing changed.

"Hey, little buddy." Jaune said to him.

"Hey, Jaune." Oscar nervously said to him.

"How's it going?" Jaune asked.

"We're talking a lot more." Oscar stated, "It's really helping me to come to terms with what's happening."

"I'm sorry..." Jaune said to him.

"I know." Oscar stated, "But it's not your fault, it's not Ozpin's fault, it's not my fault. This is what The Brothers did to us. But I'm not going to die. Every generation of Oz is different from the one before. We'll join together and become a new Oz." Oscar said, and then shrugged. "It's not like I have a choice, but I can already feel us growing together. His lifetimes of wisdom... takes a lot of getting used to. But, you guys are married now, and," he said, and looked at the kneeling CME, hands tied behind their backs, "yeah. I really don't know what to say to that." He then looked back at Jaune, "If you want, I could ask Oz."

"You've got more than enough to worry about." Jaune stated.

"You don't know how much he worries about you." Oscar stated. "But at this point, all we can do is have faith in you. He has lots of that."

"Well, that's good to hear." Jaune stated, "I guess."

"You are one of the shining lights the world has left." Oscar stated, "Sorry, it's just that he has seen a LOT of things not work over the years, and really doesn't have much left to rely on."

* * *

Raven opened up the portal. "Alright," Jaune said to CME, as they stood up, "When you get to the other side, tell Qrow to step out of the cage."

"Does he really expect us to do that?" Emerald asked.

"If we ever want them to trust us, I think we have to." Mercury replied.

"Now-now." Cinder said to them, "We need to be on our best behaviour."

"Ehn?" Yang asked, and they looked at her, "You might want to aim a bit higher than that." Emerald gave her a sour look, Mercury smiled, and Cinder had a weak smile.

* * *

The portal opened into the dungeon, with Cinder, then Emerald and Mercury walking through. Cinder then augustly turned to Qrow. "They wanted you to leave the cell." Cinder said to him. Qrow turned into a crow before hopping through the bars and looking at her quizzocally. Another portal opened, with Raven, then Taiyang, followed by Jaune, RWBY, NR, Ilia, and Aurora.

"If you would excuse me?" Aurora asked, and Jaune nodded. Weiss stood at attention in agreement.

"Got somewhere important to be?" Yang asked her.

"I have shopping to do!" Aurora excitedly stated.

"She was interupted." Blake stated.

"Yeah," Yang sarcastically said, "not like anything more important happened."

"You are combatants," Aurora said to her, "It is my job to support you to the best of my abilities."

"Let the little bit go." Jaune said, and Yang looked at him with a bit of an angry look.

"Jaune can call me that." Aurora said with a smile, and then turned to Raven, giving her a sour look before turning to walk up the stairs. Raven watched as she climbed up the stairs.

"It's rare to see a woman so fiercely determined." Raven stated. "I can see what you like about her." She then looked at Yang.

"She is like REALLY good at her job." Yang said, "I'll give her that."

"I hate to interrupt," Cinder stated, and all eyes pointed at her, "but now that we're in our cells, what do we do next?"

"Are we really going to stay here?" Emerald asked.

"It is a prison cell." Mercury said to her.

"Dungeon." Cinder corrected.

"The plan was for them to earn our trust." Ren stated.

"And?," Emerald replied, "how do we do that?"

"That, I'm afraid," Ren said to her, "is beyond me."

"Trust takes time to build," Cinder stated, "so why don't we just settle in and see what happens."

"And what do you know about building trust?!" Nora asked her.

"I'm good at exploiting it." Cinder stated.

"So?!," Nora asked, "how do we know you are not going to, uh?"

"Exploit us?!" Ruby asked.

"I am." Cinder stated, "I made it clear what my goal is, here. But the advantage you guys get with me here is that you don't have a Maiden throwing fireballs at you."

"Did she really say that?!" Yang asked.

"I did." Cinder said with disturbing glee.

"Perhaps time is exactly what we need." Ren stated.

Raven stared at the cell, and Qrow stepped up to talk to her. "I'm pretty sure we'll hear if they break out of their cell." He then turned to RWBY + JNIR, "So, by the way, where is the key?"

"What key?" Ruby asked.

"The key to the cell?" Qrow continued.

"We've been here a few days." Jaune stated, "Did you think the dungeon was going to be the first thing we worked on?"

Qrow looked at Yang. "What?" Yang asked him.

"Two people on watch at a time." Jaune stated, and shrugged. "Who wants first watch?"

"Oh!" Nora said, and eagerly lifted her hand.

"I suppose I will stay as well." Ilia added.

"I don't know about you?" Weiss asked, "But that battle has made me perhaps a bit famished."

"That does sound like a great idea." Yang said.

"And then," Ren said to her, "You can show your parents around the castle."

"I'll show Uncle Qrow!" Ruby eagerly exclaimed.

#rwby #firen lhain #faunus au #pollinated knight

[vermss]

running low

I wrote this in forty-five minutes last night and actually edited it today! can you believe it? no neither can I. anyways this one’s for the girls aka @neptrabbit and her amazing headcanons. contains hamgelica but it’s not the main focus of the story, just some general fluff featuring alex & co.’s terrible habits. mention of past jefferson/hamilton and jefferson/angelica. please enjoy.

“Oh hey Peggy,” Alexander says blearily, looking up from the mound of books, papers, loose pens and assorted office supplies he’s buried in. The youngest Schuyler sister smiles cheerily at him despite the late hour as she enters, shutting the door behind her with her heel. Catching sight of his giant mug of coffee (a gift from Eliza, who immediately regretted enabling his all-nighters) and smaller, empty ones scattered around him, she laughs. “Coffee? That’s gonna give you a heart attack someday and then I’ll get to say I told you so as you die on the floor,” she says. Alex rolls his eyes. “Sugar is sooooo much better,” she continues. “I’ve still got a fuckton of Halloween-sized assorted bags and Laf bought me some peppermints and Skittles so I’m all set. Didn’t even have to buy any myself!”  Ah, he thinks, so that’s why she bounded into my study at- a glance at the digital watch on his wrist- one A.M. in the morning. 

“Pegs, that shit will kill you too,” he grumbles. She shrugs. “Maybe, but for now I’m hyper as hell, feeling GREAT and I’m actually going to get some work done!” He watches her plop onto a beanbag in the corner and promptly fall out, giggling. “Oops!” The next few tries all end up the same way and around the fifth time she gives up, spreading her papers on the floor and lying down in front of them. Alexander sighs and goes back to work.

It only lasts for about five minutes (well, he thinks five minutes, time is a foreign concept to his coffee-soaked, exhausted mind) before another Schuyler bursts in. “Cowards!” Angelica Schuyler crows, computer held aloft. “You’re all weak-minded cowards. Coffee, sugar? I rely on nothing. I get by on sheer force of will and spite alone.”

“Hey babe,” Alex says, not looking up. She laughs, seating herself on the other side of Alex’s desk. “Hello, dear. I see we’re both at it again.” 

There’s a loud huff from the floor. “We’ll see how well your ‘spite’ holds up when it’s five A.M. and you’ve spent all your energy keeping yourself awake,” she says. Angelica’s eyes glint, and even Alexander looks up at this. Just like him, Angelica Schuyler does not take challenges lightly. 

“Oh, you’re on.” 

And that’s how Elizabeth Schuyler finds them six hours later, wandering the halls looking for them. “Hey guys?” she calls as she swings Alex’s study door open. “You guys it’s breakfast ti-” She stops short. Peggy’s lying sprawled on the floor, face in her papers, snoring, stray candy wrapper in her hair. Alexander is still at it, just barely, mumbling incoherently and attempting unsuccessfully to lift a pen, nose brushing the desk.

And Angelica. Angelica’s face is scrunched up in determination, fingers still typing away at her keyboard, locked into focus even though her eye is twitching and she’s vibrating slightly. “Uh, Angie?” Eliza asks softly, stepping forward. “Angie? Hello?” 

Eliza has to physically wave her hand in front of the computer screen to get Angelica to snap out of it. Even then, she can tell she’s having trouble concentrating on her sister’s form in front of her for a few seconds until she suddenly seems to snap to attention.

“Did I make it?” she asks immediately. Not waiting for an answer, she looks around the room- first across the desk, where Alexander is still muttering, and then at the floor, at Peggy passed out on top of her French homework. 

“YES!” she shouts. Alexander jolts, and Eliza rushes to his side. 

“Oh my goodness, you all didn’t just try to out-sleep-deprive each other, did you?” she asks, worried.

“No, no, no, ‘liza dear,” Alex mutters, words still slurred, slouching in his chair. “It was just an- an exper- expurmint, we were looking at what’s most effective to keep people awake.” Eliza raises an eyebrow. “Really, Liz! We had- we had the- what is it? The varbles and everything,” he protests. The fact that his voice is barely above a mumble doesn’t help his case. “We were testing candy, coffee and- uh- what was it you said, Ang? Oh yeah something about, like, was it sp- spat- no- no, it was sprite? Uh-” 

“Spite?” Eliza offers. 

“Yeah! Yeah, spite.” 

Eliza sighs. “I can’t believe you roped Peggy into your little workaholic club,” she says. Alex shrugs. “Wa’n my fault. Pegz just wants to impress Laf. Plus she didn’t pay attention in class b’cuz Maria sits in front of her so she waited till the last minute to do her stuff.” 

“I-” Eliza takes a deep breath. “Okay. We’ll unpack all that later. For now- do you have an excuse? Were you trying to impress Washington or something?” 

Alex just shrugs. “I gotta get shit done,” he says. It isn’t much of an explanation, but Eliza can sense she won’t be able to get much more out of him, so she rounds on Angelica. “What about you?” 

Angelica shrugs too. “Gotta get shit done.” 

Eliza takes another deep breath. “Jesus, you guys. I almost wish either of you were still dating Jefferson so I could call him in here and get him to chew you out.” 

Angelica offers a guilty smile. “I could leave and then come back in again and yell at Alex?” 

“No, silly, you did this too,” Eliza reminds her. “I’m very mad at both of you.” She closes Angelica’s computer and walks over to Alex’s side of the desk, slowly sliding his papers out from under him. “You two are going to come and have breakfast, and then you’re going to take a nap. And then you’re going to never do this again.”

“But Liiiiiiiiiiizaaaaaaa,” Alex whines, trying to pull the papers back towards him. 

“No. No ‘buts’. This is unacceptable.” She tries to put on a stern face. It doesn’t work well. Alex just pouts harder, and she can see Angelica edging closer to the computer out of the corner of her eye. 

“I see you, Angie. Out. Breakfast is laid out in the dining hall- you know, on second thought I’ll just bring it to your bedroom. Go. Now.” Alex screws up his face. 

“What about Peggy?” 

“Peggy is asleep right now. She’s also younger, and more susceptible to these sorts of behaviours. You two know better.” Alex could have sworn he saw Peggy stick her tongue out from behind Eliza’s back at that, but she’s back to her sleep face in a second. He huffs. “Fine,” he says, petulantly. Angelica follows him out silently. 

Alex has a room in the Schuylers’ mansion, but he doesn’t sleep there much anymore, and even though neither he nor Angelica speak as they walk through the halls, they’ve both set a course for Angelica’s bedroom.

He stumbles slightly on a patch of carpet and Angelica grabs his shoulders quickly, holding him upright. He sighs, leaning into her touch, feeling her pull him closer. “C’mon,” she mutters. “We’re almost there.” 

They are, indeed, almost there, and they reach her bedroom without further incident. Angelica goes straight for her bed, collapsing onto the soft duvet and closing her eyes, sighing happily. Alex follows, making an attempt to spoon her from behind, but he’s too small and too tired to make an attempt to figure it out and she ends up turning, pulling him in and tangling their legs together, laughing quietly. He just snuggles closer, arms around her, and tries to let himself drift. Normally it’s hard for him to relax, let alone sleep, but there’s a fog of exhaustion and caffeine crash dulling his normally ever-active mind, and Angelica’s so warm, and she smells so nice, and he finds himself falling asleep before he knows it.

~~

Eliza taps Peggy gently on the forehead. “Wake up, dear,” she murmurs. Peggy stirs, cracks one eye open. There’s a glint in her smile that clues her in immediately. “Peggy!” she admonishes, smacking her sister lightly. “You can’t just fake sleep to avoid consequences!” Peggy just grins, mischievous as always, but her eyes are tinged with bleariness, and Eliza picks her up with little effort or protest, nudging the study door open with her foot and carrying her out. Peggy hmms softly, shifts in her arms, and falls asleep again.

Eliza deposits her sister softly on her bright-yellow bed, making sure to tuck her in just lightly enough so she can still move around, and leaves, shutting the door with a quiet clunk. Once she’s outside, she leans on the doorframe for a moment, smiling. Her sisters- and a certain sister’s boyfriend- may be absolutely impossible, but she loves them anyways. 

By the time she enters Angelica’s bedroom with two plates of eggs and bacon, Alexander’s there just like she expected him to be, and they’re cuddling on the bed, wrapped in each other, not awake enough to have pulled the blankets over them. She sets the plates down on Angelica’s nightstand as quiet as she can and exits.

#hamgelica #angelica schuyler #alexander hamilton #running low #my writing #hamilton fanfiction #hamilton the musical #i'd like to specify it's not rpf #please enjoy

[writtenbykat]

Meet the Parents

My short little wip ficlet of Lily meeting the Potters, but her perfect evening is thrown off by the appearance of one Sirius Black, and his insistence on rehashing Lily and James’ tumultuous start to their relationship. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Potter, welcome! It’s so nice to meet you!” 

The Potters both greeted her with warm smiles and kisses to each of her cheeks; but when she looked up at a strangely silent James, his eyes were focused on something behind his parents, and a look of dread on his face. 

“What Evans? No kiss for me?” 

Sirius spoke in his usual boisterous manner as he moved past the Potters to brush a kiss on each of her cheeks as well. From behind her, James addressed his friend; “Pads. I told you not to come. Remember? I specifically told you not to come.” 

“Oh, I know you told me not to. But the house was so empty without all of you, and I know Evans would never turn away a stray.” His response was punctuated with an overdramatic, and insincere pout. 

He had come just to stir up trouble. She narrowed her eyes at him for a fraction of a second before giving her most saccharine sweet smile she could muster. “Of course not Sirius, the more the merrier.” 

---

“Prongs, remember when you wouldn’t leave her alone for an entire week fourth year, and she used her newly learned stinging jinx on you?” 

It seemed that now that dinner was over, and they’d indulged in some wine– that led to the numerous stories of the tumultuous nature of hers and James’ relationship. Namely, his poor attempts to snare her attention, and the ways she’d resolutely shut him down. 

“And remember fifth year, when you asked Evans to Hogsmeade, and she quickly turned you down with a goblet of pumpkin juice down the robes?” 

She cringed at that particular memory. It was one of the more rare times that James had attempted to ask her out without his typical fanfare. 

He approached her at the Gryffindor table, without his usual entourage. He stood behind her, silently, until Marlene had cleared her throat and gave a pointed head nod in his direction. 

“Yes Potter?” 

“Could I have a word, in private?” 

“I imagine whatever you have to say to me, you are fully capable of doing here,” she’d told him rather coldly. 

He shuffled in place, keeping his eyes firmly down towards his feet. 

“Iwaswonderingifyou’dliketogowithmetoHogsmeadethisweekend.” It came out as one word. 

“Sorry, I don’t think I caught that.” 

He cleared his throat and tried again. “I was wondering if you’d like to go with me to Hogsmeade this weekend.” 

This was the latest in Potter’s campaign to get her to go out with him. If he hadn’t been crowing in the halls, he’d been stalking her at meal times– and frankly she’d had quite enough. She’d demonstrated this with a goblet of pumpkin juice spilled down the front of his robes and a curt dismissal. 

“But nothing tops the Evans silent treatment of sixth year!” Sirius crowed, bringing her back to her present torment.

The blood drained from her face, and she couldn’t get rid of the lump in her throat. 

“Sirius–” James started

“No, it was amazing! I have never seen one person ignore another with such conviction. Took commitment Evans!” 

The silent treatment he referred to was, of course, the distance she’d endeavored to put between them following his stunt by the lake at the end of fifth year. But she really didn’t want to hash that out in front of James’ parents right now. 

Sirius, of course, either didn’t know or didn’t care; and launched into the story of how Lily had essentially given James the could shoulder for the better part of a year. 

Just as the story was reaching its peak, Lily found that she could take it no more. She couldn’t sit next to James and hold his hand, as her misdeeds were reported to his parents. She murmured an excuse about fetching more wine and rose from the table blinking back embarrassed tears, and ignoring James’ questioning glance. 

She quickly closed the door to the pantry and took several deep breaths. She knew she and James had taken a while to get to where they were now; but hearing the stories strung together, one after the other, was too much. She was awful. He had always had feelings for her, and she had shut him down at every turn. His parents probably hated her. She hated herself, listening to the stories from the boys’ point of view. 

Straightening herself out, she grabbed the bottle of wine she had ostensibly come in here to get. Her fingers had barely brushed the neck of the bottle, when the sound of another round of raucous laughter made her jump, knocking the bottle to the ground. 

He found her in the pantry, the bottle of wine she’d gone to fetch at her feet in shatters. 

“Oh, Lily,” he murmured, drawing him in against his chest. 

He dried her face with his sleeve, and pressed a comforting kiss to a forehead. 

“James, darling, could you join the boys in the dining room?” 

They both started apart as Euphemia poked her head into the pantry. 

Great, now James’ mother probably wanted to tell her exactly what she thought now. She steeled herself to face the verbal lashing, she rightly deserved. 

“I know my son isn’t perfect,” Euphemia started, “but I’m quite proud of the man he’s grown to be.” 

“I know. He–” 

“Though I am proud of the man he’s become, I am not unaware of the absolute terror he no doubt was at school.” She waved off Lily’s protests. “We received more letters than I care to admit from the headmaster and the head of house about our sons’ behaviour.” Lily didn’t miss how she casually lumped Sirius in as one of her own. 

“That is to say, my son has been a bit of a prat up until recently, and I think you are a large reason as to why he’s finally decided to grow up. I hold no ill-will towards you Lily, darling, in fact I rather commend you on how you’ve dealt with them over the years. He is stubborn in his convictions, and it would take someone of equal strength of conviction to impact any change on James Potter.” 

“And I don’t mean to scare you, dear, but if things continue much in the way I think they are, I more than eagerly anticipate welcoming you to the family.” 

This is 100% a work in progress, but i’m trying this thing where I actually post the things I write- even if they aren’t “ready”. I’ve had this one in the works forever and a half trying to get it ‘Perfect”, but here we are.  

#jily #james potter #lily evans #one shot #ficlet #i've had this in the works forever but the part of me that needs external validation says to post it #sirius is just here to stir up trouble #wip

[katherinemallory]

#8 Heart in a sling

This is how we got there... #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7

I stayed in bed a little longer than usual. I still couldn’t get used to the thought of going back on active service. It was both exciting and paralyzing. And apart from that, there was no need to hurry, as I was to meet M at 1 P.M.

Still lying in bed in my pyjamas, I grabbed my phone and searched for my chat with Bond. I wanted to let him know how things were going.

You were right. M wants to see me today.

Told ya. Any plans for today? How about dinner with a handsome 00? xx

I hesitated. I’ve already accepted who my real love interest was... and it wasn’t Bond. I don’t want to give him false hope, but... it’s not a crime to eat a dinner with a man, is it? This doesn’t mean I have to marry him, I thought.

Sure. See ya there xx

I smiled to myself and unwillingly went out of my bed. I did everything lazily, enjoying the last moments of my freedom, as I knew it would end at the exact moment I enter the SIS building. I chose a grey suit and left the apartment when the time was right.

It was no easy task to find a parking spot, which heralded an intense day at the MI6.

I wondered if M has been busy since he came back to work. There must have been a lot to deal with. I would help him with *anything* if I only could... and he wouldn’t regret that.

When I stepped into my office, I went straight to the window and opened the dark blue curtains. It wasn’t the most intimate place you could imagine, but I missed it so much while I was spending my time alone during the arrest. Lots of natural light came from the window and I felt almost like at home. I sat behind my desk and began to sign the necessary documents confimring my return.

Out of the blue, someone knocked on the door. I jumped out of my chair, genuinely scared, as I didn't expect anyone to interrupt me.

"Come in," I said after a few seconds, still signing the papers.

"Hi, Katherine. It's me... do you have a minute?"

I looked up and saw Amanda.

"I even have two," I replied, pointing to the small couch next to the window. "Please, have a seat."

"Thank you," she said as she sat on the couch, placing her hand on her knees, as if she just came to the headmaster’s office and had to make excuses for her bad behaviour at school.

“It’s good to see you again, Amanda. I hope you feel better than the last time we talked...”

“Yes, Kath, thank you,” she stammered, glancing around. “Actually, it's not... It's not easy for me, but I'm going to confess to something..."

"Is it something about our mission in Geneva...?"

I observed her, patiently waiting for the full story.

"Well, yes and no, I suppose... the thing is...” she looked at my face and then at her hands that moved to her thighs, “that... Katherine... I'm not going back on active service,” she said and looked me again in the eyes. “I declined."

I opened my mouth in astonishment. I was just blown away.

"You did *what*? But why...?"

"I feel like it was all my fault. I just can't stop thinking about it, I can't forget how helpless I felt that day we almost got captured," she replied, and sighed. "You know... that I can't go back if I won't consult our psychologist... which I don't feel like doing right now... And apart from that I'm getting older. You can't pretend to be a successful operative forever..."

I was aware of the fact that she had a point there as she was one of the oldest agents in the section, even though she didn't look like that at all. But I couldn't imagine the section without her. I barely knew Amanda, but we got along really well quickly.

"... that is why I will ask M to reassign me. For the sake of my mental health."

For a brief moment we sat there in silence, listening to the clock’s ticking.

"Amanda... if I'm honest with you," I replied, "I don't know what to say... I'm shocked! I had *no* idea it affected you that much... I mean, obviously it was a difficult moment for both of us, but does it really have to... be an end?"

She rubbed her hands.

"Yes, Kath. I think my time's up."

...

Later that day I catched the elevator to the last floor just a few minutes before 1 P.M. I was a little nervous, not because I was unsure of my physical or psychological shape, but because I couldn’t wait to see Mallory. How does he feel? And what does he expect from me now? I was one of the double-0s suspected of being responsible for this attack after all...

I went through the long corridor and opened the door to Eve’s office.

"Hi, Eve!"

"Hi, Kath! It's good to have you back," replied Eve with a huge smile on her face. "I'd love to chat a little more, but he's ready for you..."

When Eve said "he", I felt my cheeks flush.

"Thanks," I replied and went on to open the maroon door.

And there he was. Relaxed, sitting in his armchair and casually going through the files on his desk. It must have been a bit uncomfortable, since his left arm was in a sling, but he didn’t seem to be bothered at all.

I went closer to his desk and stopped in front of it, crossing my hands behind my back.

"How's the arm, sir?"

"Oh, it's fine. It will get better," he replied as he stood up and leaned his free hand at his desk.

The sling was hardly visible, because it was nearly of the same colour as Mallory's double-breasted chalk stripe suit - very dark, but not necessarily black. But what has really caught my attention was the tie. For the first time I've seen Mallory wearing a *red* slik tie.

His words, combined with this look had quite an effect on me. I realized it and wanted to temper my feelings, but I failed miserably. A cheerful: “That’s wonderful to hear, sir,” got away from me. “We’ve been waiting to see you again!” I crowed, unable to hide my excitement.

Mallory noticed it. He looked at me curiously, forcing a mild smile. His eyebrows rose, as if he wanted me to elaborate, but I got so scared of my own opennes that I immediately withdrew.

“What I mean is that... it’s great to work with you again... sir,” I said and paused. “I suppose you’ve already seen my psychological evaluation. 002 reporting for duty,” I added, trying to sound as professional as possible.

Mallory frowned thoughtfully, and then smiled again, this time more naturally.

“Since we’re both back... I could use your help,” he said. His voice was casual. “Would you mind taking my jacket off? I feel a little warm in there.”

As he spoke these words, I realized that this request was not an official part of our meeting. Not that I mind it, I thought, and walked over to his side of the desk.

I’m not sure how it happened, but my mind played a little joke on me. I got reminded of my recent dream. Only me and Mallory in his office, late at night, kissing on his desk... oh, what I wouldn’t give to feel his arms around me right now, I thought. Strangely, I didn't fully trust myself at that exact moment, fearing that instead of helping Mallory with taking off only his jacket, I would start to passionately unbutton his shirt.

I came closer to him and hesitated.

“Go ahead,” Mallory encouraged me.

I cradled his arm in my hands and took it off the sling. Then I asked Mallory to turn his back on me, still holding his hand, which caused me to move closer to him - so close that I could smell his cologne. Then I touched the top of his jacket and helped Mallory to slowly take it off. I took his left hand as gently as I could and put it in a sling again.

His green eyes, clear as crystal, met mine when I looked up.

“Will that be all right?” I asked, realizing we were standing only inches away from each other.

“Yes,” replied Mallory calmly. “Thank you, Katherine.”

It surprised me that he has called me by my real name again, but I didn't have a chance to analyze it for long. A light winked on the phone. Mallory answered the call, putting the phone on speaker. I heard Eve’s voice.

"I’m sorry to interrupt you, sir, but..."

"Yes, Miss Moneypenny?"

"... 007 is here."

Mallory looked at me suggestively.

"Thank you. Send him in,” Mallory answered curtly, still looking at me.

I got the message and went to the other side of the desk just in time. The door has opened, showing James Bond entering the office.

"Welcome, 007," said Mallory. "Please join us."

Bond came to the desk and stood beside me. Mallory was standing as well.

"This one’s going to be brief. I'm glad you're both available, since I have a special mission for you,” said Mallory in his semi-friendly tone, and sat down. “It's about doing a liitle *show* to confuse our enemies. Perhaps it’s not the most important task you can ever get... but it might turn out to be... quite enjoyable."

He put a hand flat down on his desk and continued.

"I need you two to pose as a married couple during a poker tournament in Casino de Monte-Carlo. Play poker well, observe, and intrigue a few men. You’ll find all the necessary details about them in the files...”

He lowered his eyes to the desk in search for the files.

“Oh, and the Treasury will provide you the money, so try not to lose everything,” he added sarcastically, staring directly at us.

Good old Mallory is back, I thought.

"You’ve still got a few free days before your flight, so use this time well. Think about the tactics and any equipment you’ll need... This mission isn’t about any specific result, rather just an investigation, but you should remember to be careful.”

Neither of us answered him, signalizing that we understood.

“If you haven’t got any questions then... that’s all for today. Thank you.”

“Thank you, sir,” replied Bond and came to the desk to take the files.

“And Katherine, James... visit Q later today. He’s got some surprises for you," said Mallory in his deep, smooth voice.

We both nodded and left M’s office. I’ve stolen a quick glance at Mallory when I was closing the door. He smiled at me for the third time that day.

"James, could you please wait for me downstairs? I'll join you in a minute," I said when we're about to say goodbye to Eve.

"Anything for you," answered Bond - clearly pleased with our conversation with Mallory - and left Eve's office, closing the door behind him.

Even though both doors were closed, I lowered my voice, making sure that nor Mallory nor Bond could hear us.

"Eve, why didn't you tell me that Bond would be here as well?"

"Oh, you didn’t know this?" asked Eve. "I thought that M informed you both yesterday..."

"He didn't."

She looked quite offended.

"Well, I'm not a fortuneteller, I can't predict everything..."

"Oh, I’m sorry Eve, I didn’t mean it,” I said, shaking my head. “Actually, I don't need you to predict anything," I added, whispering. "But I could use your help. Do one more thing for me, will you?"

"What do you have in mind?"

I was just about to answer Eve's question when suddenly the door opened. It turned out that James Bond didn’t go downstair as I asked him to. He pointed to his watch.

"Kath, are you coming? The minute has passed already."

"Yes, James, I'm coming!" I exclaimed and grabbed a pen that was lying on the desk. I carelessly wrote Eve a little note:

Spy on M for me

I pointed to one of my fingers, trying to suggest what I mean. Eve managed to give me a shocking look before I was taken out of her office by Bond who refused to wait any longer and took me by the hand.

"What was so important that it took you so long?" he asked when we were walking down the corridor. He was still holding me by the hand.

"I was telling Eve how excited I am to go on a mission with you," I replied cheerfully and kissed him on the cheek. He seemed a bit confused, but put his arm around my waist.

"What was that for?" he whispered into my ear.

"A thank-you for the dinner, you fool. Or, should I say, *my fictional husband*?"

I put my arm around Bond as well, wondering if Eve understood my message... but I knew I shouldn’t be worried about it just yet. I didn’t respond very well to the silent treatment Bond gave me after our horrible argument and I wanted to take the opportunity to make things better with him. It didn’t matter to me at all what other people working for the MI6 might think, seeing me and Bond embraced like a real-life couple.

I felt bad about flirting with him, but I needed a convincing cover just in case my plan went wrong. I've already made up my mind. If M's married, then it's out of the question. I'll leave him alone and suffer in silence, wandering around the MI6 Headquarters with my broken heart in a sling for the rest of my life. But if he's single... I'm afraid I won't be able to resist the temptation... 

Even if it’s going to cost me my job as a double-0.

***

To be continued.

#fanfiction #james bond fanfiction #katherine mallory #gareth mallory #m #james bond #bond james bond #002 #007 #skyfall quote #spectre quote

[beautiesandheadcanons]

For this week’s gaming corner, I kinda wanted to put on my tinfoil hat and talk about a potential conspiracy that a writing friend and I stumbled over the other day when talking about Sten and his reasons for being in Ferelden during the Fifth Blight. (Warning: spoilers for Dragon Age: Origins and Inquisition ahead).

.

The reason that Sten gives The Warden is that the Qun wanted information on the Blight, but … how much sense does this really make? For one, Sten is very much Qun-loyal, so how much information would he really be willing to share with The Warden? And he tells them this before his loyalty mission and before The Warden gains any kind of rapport with him, so the fact that he would just be upfront and honest about what concerns the Qunari have seems a little … off. I think perhaps he just used the Blight as an easy excuse and since everything was a bit chaotic, the excuse was accepted and his reasons for being there written off because hey, he was helping, and The Warden needed every ally they could get.

.

But the even bigger question is the timing. For one, how would the Qunari even know that the Blight was happening? Keep in mind, the only person in Origins who even thought it was an actual Blight and not just an incursion of Darkspawn was Duncan, the Grey Warden. King Cailan *hoped* it was a Blight, but wasn’t convinced, Loghain and Arl Howe didn’t believe it, and Arl Cousland seemed indifferent and unknowing either way. Even after the Battle, Loghain and Howe still didn’t believe it a true Blight. So while there’s no doubt the Qunari likely had spies in Ferelden, what exactly could they have even sent back? Darkspawn incursions aren’t exactly rare or out of the question, and it seems highly illogical to send a whole unit to investigate the mere possibility of a Blight, so that begs the question … what would have made the Qunari send Sten and his Beresaad? If they weren’t sent because of a Blight, then why?

.

Before I go on to speculate, I want to also address a logistics issue, and that is the fact that it is impossible for Sten and his Beresaad to have arrived in the area surrounding Lothering just before The Warden arrives there post-Ostagar. Backing up just a tad, during the prologue of Dragon Age 2, it’s mentioned that Hawke and family took a ship from Gwaren to Kirkwall and that the journey took two weeks. As you can see from the included maps, while there is a fairly significant distance between Gwaren and Kirkwall, it seems dwarfed when compared between Gwaren and Par Vollen, the Qunari homeland. So even *if* the Qunari became concerned about a large Darkspawn incursion – the likes of which were only witnessed at Ostagar – it’s simply impossible for a message to be sent from Ferelden to Par Vollen, a team to be put together and equipped, and then sent to Ferelden in order to make it to the area around Lothering before The Warden makes it from Flemeth’s hut to the same village.

.

Of course, Sten’s explanation for what happened to him doesn’t even hold up very well. He told The Warden that he and his company were attacked by a group of Darkspawn and that he was knocked unconscious and later woke up to find his sword missing and subsequently attacked a nearby farmer and his family in a rage, which is what led to him being locked in a cage outside Lothering. Except … that makes no sense. The Darkspawn just so happen to slay the entirety of his company and just … knock him out? And leave him? Its well established in canon that if Darkspawn don’t kill someone, they take them for eating and/or breeding. And if they don’t take the bodies, they typically defile them, similarly to how they strung up King Cailan’s body at Ostagar. So the fact that they would have left one unconscious Qunari behind just seems insurmountably illogical. Darkspawn are not overly intelligent, which is why they require the guidance of an Archdemon in order to properly rally to even attempt to take over Thedas. They operate more or less on certain instincts, and instinct should have dictated that if they couldn’t take Sten’s body for some reason, they would have defiled his body and left it behind as a sign and a warning. That’s not even taking into account that somebody apparently just happened to go through this area right after this huge Darkspawn attack (Beresaad are not easy opponents) and somehow found Sten’s sword … AND the fact that the last place Sten remembers even having his sword is the docks around Lake Calenhad, an area that Darkspawn were not plenteous in (IF such a sufficient force was even able to make it that far to engage a Beresaad with, which *doubt*).

.

Which brings me to the original point of this post: Sten wasn’t in Ferelden for the Blight. He was there as a preamble to a Qunari invasion.

.

Qunari invasions aren’t unheard of, they had attempted an incursion several hundred years before (and in some spots, still had a lingering influence as of the events of the current games). And, of course, players get to see another attempt to overthrow leaders in an attempt to create chaos that would preempt their action to take over in the Inquisition DLC Trespasser. But what if that wasn’t their first attempt? What if they had attempted before?

.

Sten is particularly interesting, having been noted by an Antivan Crow to be curious, a trait that is extremely rare for a Qunari. He questioned people coming and going at the docks on Seheron for three years in order to learn the common tongue. Later on, during a large Qunari assault in Tevinter, he was present and noted to not only know the common tongue but also Tevene, again another rare trait for a Qunari (and would be even rarer outside the Ben-Hassrath, the organisation of Qunari spies). It should be noted that after the failure of this particular assault, Sten was later overheard *arguing* - ARGUING - with the Arishok, something that shook the Tevinter spy to the core because Qunari just simply did not argue. Sten’s reason for arguing against someone as important and high-ranking as the Arishok himself, the leader of the Qunari military? Because after the failure of the recent Qunari incursion he’d been a part of, he was convinced that it would be impossible to take over southern Thedas by force, that they needed a more subtle touch … one similar to what we get to see in Trespasser.  It’s said, of course, that his reasoning and ideas are why the Arishok sends him and his team to Ferelden to investigate the Blight, but … what if he sends them for another reason? What if he understood and came to agree with Sten and later appointed him to take charge of a small force to infiltrate southern Thedas and take advantage of the recent Darkspawn incursions to ensure the death of King Cailan and anyone else of importance to throw the relatively young nation into chaos. Their company couldn’t have been attacked by Darkspawn … perhaps instead they were somehow intercepted by a company of the king’s men, and while they were successful in wiping out the rest of the Beresaad, they themselves fell to Sten who was left standing. And after he took care of the rest of the bodies, he was discovered by an innocent farmer and his family, who Sten *had* to kill in order to cover up what he’d done … and afterwards, realising that he was stuck in a strange land all alone with no back up and no way to complete his mission, turned himself in for the murder of the farmer and his family and waited for the end … (which, depending on the actions of The Warden, may not have come at all).

.

Again, we can clearly see how the Qunari have started to plan their invasion by the time the Trespasser DLC occurs (2 years after the events of Inquisition, 12 years after Origins, 8 years after Sten becomes the new Arishok). Instead of brute force, they’re resorting to utilising their spy networks and operating far more quietly and in the shadows than they have in the past. Of course, they’re still caught by the Inquisitor and brought to task, but it’s a far different approach than what they’ve done previously. And while the Qunari disavow any knowledge of the Viddasala and her actions, that seems particularly out of character for the Qunari who typically move as one, as a single unit in thought and purpose, for whom rebellion is out of the question. It seems almost strange that a high-ranking Ben-Hassrath would just turn on the wishes of the rest of the Qunari, and particularly strange that it happens while our former companion, Sten, is the Arishok … the one in charge of their military … the same person who insisted that southern Thedas could not be conquered by force and instead needed far more subtly to accomplish …

.

It just seems too convenient, doesn’t it? I can’t be the only one to see all the holes, all the neat little coincidences. Granted, this very well could just be explained away by the fact that Origins was Bioware’s first game in the Dragon Age series and they hadn’t really worked out all the kinks of their lore (they’ve backtracked and retconned before, so the behaviour of Darkspawn and the distance between Ferelden and Par Vollen could have very well just not been properly established yet). But I prefer to look at these plot holes and instead see an over-arching Qunari conspiracy to take over southern Thedas, whose attempts were simply thwarted by a Blight and by an Inquisitor respectively. Partly because it feels better than “oh, it’s just plot holes” and partly because this would really help set up and implement the Qunari as the next opponent in DA5 (Yes, 5. Not 4. Lemme at the Egg first in 4, then we can deal with the Qunari later). And since Bioware does tend to hint at big bads in previous games (Corypheus appeared in a DLC in DA2 and became your main opponent in Inquisition, Solas appeared at the end of Inquisition and is highly hinted to be who we’ll be fighting against in 4 …) this would fit their MO quite well at weaving in future storylines in previous games.

#beauties and headcanons #elisabeths gaming corner #dragon age #dragon age origins #dragon age inquisition #trespasser #trespasser dlc #sten #arishok #viddasala #qunari #qunari conspiracy #conspiracy #lore #dragon age lore

[geckolady]

Skulduggery Pleasant: Raising Cain - Chapter 7

Chapter 7 - Perchance for cain

They laughed on the way to the Sanctuary, and hugs with Bear and Weasel were mandatory – for Stephanie only – and they were finally able to find out what had happened.

“Serpine’s men had amour and weapons,” Bear told Stephanie. “And they were in a small room and made sure to split us up.”

“We work better together,” Wolf said.

“Always have. And with others in the room we didn’t have a chance to fight to our strengths. They knew that would happen, but we rushed into it and didn’t realise until too late,” Bear said. “We were very lucky to have you, Stephanie.”

Crow nodded. “Though we do need to help you think up a name still. Calling you by your given name is getting more dangerous every day.”

“She’s Cub,” Wolf proclaimed. “Right, Cub?”

“Yeah!” She said, putting her hands in the air. They high-fived.

Crow made a movement that was likely an eyeroll. “But you still need a real name. Code names are good for missions, we’ve needed them for a while I suppose, but that doesn’t change the fact you need a Taken name.”

“Hey,” Weasel said to Stephanie, “you still haven’t told us why you gave us those names.”

“Aren’t you meant to know these things?” Stephanie asked him.

He rolled his eyes. “I can’t know everything. That would be boring. Tell me, why do I get the bad name?”

She tilted her head at him. “You don’t have a bad name.”

“Oh God,” Snake said. “She’s already acting like Skul.”

Stephanie flipped her hair back and began pointing and explaining – she pointed to Skulduggery, “Crow, you always brought weird things, like crows get stuff for their nests.” She pointed to Ghastly, “Panda made me a panda bear when I was little and it was the first thing he gave me and my favourite toy, so it became his name.” To Anton, “Bear, you got me things that made me think you were trying to be all tough and not super cute but also wanted to spoil me like a marshmallow. I almost called you marshmallow actually but I liked the animal theme so you became Bear.” Dexter, “Wolf, I’m not really sure how it happened, but it seemed to fit the you I made up from all the things you got me. It was always something new, unexpected and I loved it. I could always count on you to get me something when something bad happened too, so I sort of learned you were loyal and trustworthy, so I thought of a dog, but that sounded too tame compared to the other cool names so you’re a wolf.” Saracen, “Weasel, you always got me things I could eat or where I’d find more things to eat when I got there and weasels were good at finding food and getting from place to place unseen. At least to my head when I was a kid that’s how I thought of it, so you got to be Weasel. I like that name.” Erskine, “And Snake, I always thought you’d be telling me to do the stupid things and getting me in trouble on purpose, and then you’d hide and laugh at me, so you got to be Snake. You were always my favourite when I was very little because I’d spend so much time alone and whatever stupid thing imaginary Snakie said to me were usually pretty fun. So, I like it. I like them all though.”

They nodded and grinned. She thought they seemed pretty happy with that. “I like that,” Wolf said. “I’m the coolest.”

Stephanie started to laugh as all hell broke loose and they started bickering over who got to be the coolest.

“Guys!” She shouted at them, finally getting their attention. “You still need to tell me what happened! You got split up but you didn’t tell me anything.”

“Oh, yes,” Crow said, then coughed as if trying to distract himself from his own immature behaviour. “We were split up and attacked with extreme force. We knew Serpine was not to be underestimated but I think when we didn’t see Serpine we didn’t think his lackies would be any good. Obviously, we were wrong. Though we are lucky enough that there aren’t as many Hollow Men now.”

“Hollow Men?”

“Those paper like things from earlier. They have the single purpose of fighting to the death. Generally they can’t do anything but in numbers they are catastrophic. Eliminating a handful now is the absolute difference between life and death later.”

She nodded.

“The fight didn’t last long. They had a very big man that got a bag over my head and shackled me to a bedpost before I could do much, which bound my magic and stopped me from helping,” Skulduggery explained for her. She had assumed that was what the cuffs did but it was good to know. “I believe the rest of the fight was over as people were knocked out. And now I would like to know what happened to you.”

Stephanie was looked at by them all and Wolf let her have the stage. She hesitated. “Well, it was pretty fast honestly. I just remember attacking this guy and the Hollow Men almost made me sick – I hate them by the way – and Wolf had all that purple mist you told me about on him. He kept screaming at that first guy who was going to hurt him more, so I stabbed him in the chest. Serpine said I killed him.”

They were quiet. “I’m sorry,” Wolf finally said.

She waved him away. “I’d rather he stopped hurting you. But then again, I’d rather never have to see Serpine again, his magic definitely hurts too much.”

“What the–”

“Excuse me I’m still speaking Mr Pleasant!” She called before he had the chance. His jaw snapped shut. “So I passed out in the office after some guy turned up and I don’t remember what he said, just that he was there. I woke in the cell and that guy came in pretty soon after to take me to Serpine and he tried to make me convert to his mission and be his daughter or some shit and I told him to shove it but in less words because I didn’t want to die and I was taken back to the cells with only one smack which I thought was pretty good going considering everything. I tricked the guy into switching around cuffs and then I beat his ass and came and found all you. So you all got save by a little girl. Ha.”

They snorted at themselves and the tension went from the van. “We are so teaching you to fight.” Weasel said.

“I did fight!”

“Better,” Crow said. “If this becomes a habit, if you want to keep up with the people we have to fight, you need to be better. We get the worst, most likely to be killed missions. You will have to sit out of a few until you are up to the standards we expect. I’m sure we can find a few small cases until you’re ready for the big dogs though.”

She rolled her eyes. “Sure.”

They told her about Meritorious and the other Elders on the way but told her they were not going to be introducing them at that moment as they didn’t want to have to argue to keep her as their apprentice. Still, she and Dexter would have to go to someone called Doctor Kenspeckle in the Hibernian Cinema, a place he had converted secretly into a small hospital. They had already registered with him as soon as Gordon had died since they knew she was going to be sent into their care.

They waited for the Cleavers to get out the van and they all left, and Wolf disappeared to get them a car – Weasel whispered to her secretively that he was going to flirt one out of the Administrator which had made her blush violently because flirting was weird, but also grin because it was weird in another way – and the others disappeared to sit around for the Elders and Stephanie had to wait for Wolf next to Panda who snored lightly from the pavement. It didn’t take too long before Wolf pulled up next to her and they pulled and pushed Panda awkwardly into the car and then got in the front.

Since they were hoping he would awaken soon and didn’t care how, they put on the radio as loud as it went, making the car vibrated with the music, and they sang along too loud for them to sound good, which Stephanie was grateful for. They drove for half an hour and screamed the whole way, even in traffic, getting a lot of looks, and when they pulled up in front of the cinema and continued to sing until the end of the song, Panda still hadn’t woken up.

Her ears rang, but she was happy to help push Panda from the borrowed car and Wolf pulled him onto his shoulders. She locked the car for him and opened the building doors. He told her where to stand and made her walk through the magic door into the medical practice, making her grin and laugh and run up to the top.

“Who is making that racket?!” A voice shouted from somewhere. Two young men walked into the large waiting hall with smiles. They waved at her.

“Hello,” she said to them. “My friends need help.”

“Who are they?” One of them asked.

“Ghastly Bespoke and Dexter Vex.”

They laughed. “Oh, we know them, are they coming up now?”

Wolf came up sideways with Panda still on his shoulders. “Yeah,” she said. “Where do you want them?”

“This way,” he said. “I’m Civet by the way.”

She grabbed Wolf’s top and pulled him along. “Come,” she commanded. “I don’t have a name yet.”

“It’s a big decision. I’m Stentor,” the other told her and they opened a door to a ward in which Wolf placed Panda with surprising gentleness onto a bed.

She put her hands on her hips. “You need to lie down too.”

He grinned wickedly. “Oh yeah? Why should I?”

“Because you were in a traumatic incident and must be checked for death.”

“For death?” He said, laughing.

“Yes, and if you don’t I’ll tell on you.” He stepped towards her menacingly, but she didn’t move. “And it’ll be awful. You’ll be lectured and told off and still have to get checked but it’ll be worse. What are you doing?”

He didn’t respond, just pulled her to him and started tickling mercilessly. She shrieked with laughter and immediately fell to the floor, hugging her sides and trying to breathe through the intensity of the fun. An old man with grey hair and stern words for Wolf came in at some point but it just made Wolf pretend to roar and pounce on her and he ended up on his knees tickling her until she was screaming that she was about to pee herself and she was pretty sure she did just a little bit before he stopped and they panted, giggling still in her case, and the old man came and stood a foot from them.

“Are you two quite finished?” He said sternly.

“No.” They said at once.

He sighed tiredly. “Get on a bed. Both of you.”

He turned to his assistants and started telling them thing so Wolf and Stephanie looked at each other. They both stood silently and got into the same bed, Stephanie sitting on Wolf’s knees in the most uncomfortable for him way she could.

Kenspeckle turned back to them to tell them something and saw them. “For God’s sake. Your own beds!”

“Oh!” Stephanie said acting surprised. “Why didn’t you say that in the first place?” She got in her own bed and tried not to grin at the looks she was getting from the doctor, Civet and Stentor.

“Insolent girl. Tell me what happened to you.”

She told him about the brief torture and her time stuck in the cell but after a check over and some food she was told she’d be fine. Wolf was checked last and the other Dead Men came into the ward just as Panda groaned and started to wake up.

They were also sent into their own beds for check-ups though Bear and Weasel got out of that, meaning they could sit on either side of Stephanie and relay the meeting, in which they tried to convince the Elders that Serpine had killed people recently, including Gordon, and had taken them hostage, including a minor female that had been left at the mercy of not just Serpine, who tortured her, but also other known criminals. It had been played up a little to try and convince them but even then, it hadn’t been enough to get a guaranteed stance from the Sanctuary.

“We usually fight alone,” Bear told her reassuringly in his deep, quiet voice. He was the most comforting to have around, so calm and reassuring. Panda came next though she imagined she’d go to him for council and he’d help her, whereas Bear would let her talk and probably then kill or seriously maim whoever tried to hurt her, so they never tried again. It was very nice to have such strong support. She could have used that last year through school.

It was after saying all that they tried to help her with her name. The key word being ‘tried’.

“We need to play to your strengths.”

“Your personality.”

“You like funny things. Something warm and fun would be good.”

“Or something ironic,” Crow pointed out. “You like dark humour too much for something warm.”

“No,” Weasel argued for her. “She could have a warm name.”

“Yeah,” Snake smirked. “Like Flame.”

“That’s terrible,” Panda groaned. He had a bad headache after hitting his head hard and being given a sedative.

Stephanie nodded. “It was pretty terrible.”

“You need something bold. Strong,” Wolf said. “Like Wolf.”

She stared at him. “Wolf is my least liked name.” He raised an eyebrow and she grinned instantly. “I do want a bold name though. Something easy to remember. Not a mouthful. Not boring either.”

“Perhaps something exotic,” Wolf said. “Maybe we should get some books.”

They tried to think up some books or other things they could use to help her but were soon being kicked out of the place by Kenspeckle, getting Stentor and Civet in trouble as they had joined the efforts to think of names. Stephanie was last out and held back for a moment by the doctor.

“Are you alright my dear?” He asked.

She smiled at him. “I haven’t been happier in a long time.”

He sighed. “I would hate to see you get hurt on one of their hair-brained schemes.”

“I like hair-brained schemes. I like crime, in fact. I want to do crime tonight!”

He rolled his eyes. “God, just like Pleasant. You two both have a perchance for cain.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Trouble. It means you’re trouble and I’m going to have to fix you too much. Now go on I suppose but remember to rest or else you’ll be very sore tomorrow.”

She grinned and gave the grumpy man a hug before running down the stairs straight onto the back of Bear who hiked her higher and let her stay there. He really was a marshmallow.

#skulduggery pleasant #skulduggery #valkyrie cain #valkyrie #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #raising cain #dead men #the dead men #YA fanfiction #family #romance #slowburn #derek landy #ff.net #wattpad #LGBT #LGBTQ+ #lesbian #bisexual #gay #magic #fantasy #Landy #chapter 7

[beneaththetangles]

BtT Light Novel Club Chapter 25: Tearmoon Empire, Vol. 2

It’s time for our discussion of volume 2 of Tearmoon Empire! We ended up having two whole posts of discussion on the first volume of this series (a hint to how much we loved it), but this time we managed to keep things down to a single post. Rest assured, though, Jeskai Angel, Gaheret, and I still had quite a lot to say about this volume, so let’s get started!

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1. What are your overall impressions of the volume?

stardf29: So if there was any concern this story wouldn’t hold up after Mia no longer has to worry about death by guillotine, this volume proves that it can do just fine dealing with other events. Notably, in this volume Mia’s scope of action goes beyond just her own country and into international relations, and she does it all while still “looking out for herself” and others misunderstanding her intentions to hilarious effect. There are a lot of great character moments throughout, and overall the volume makes for a great end to this first story arc (though far from the end of the overall story). I’ll go into details in later questions, but I’ll say that, with this volume, Tearmoon Empire has become my current favorite light novel of all time.

Jeskai Angel: It’s outstanding, a brilliant sequel that brought back the prior volume’s characters and plot threads but then built upon them in fun new ways. The theme of how Mia’s influence ripples outward to change others continues to be a delight. The humor remains a highlight of the story. The goofy chapter titles are great. There was a hilarious callback to the previous volume’s running joke that Mia doesn’t care enough to remember the name of Abel’s brother. And I loved the part where the conspirators are reading Mia and Abel’s letters and drive themselves crazy trying to find their (nonexistent) hidden meaning. Oh, and the scene where the villainous Graham sets his own doom flag by saying “There’s no way she can pull something like that off again.” I have a tough time picking “favorites,” but I feel comfortable saying Tearmoon Empire is undoubtedly in the very top tier of LNs.

Gaheret: For my part, I thought this one was an interesting read. I liked the first one better, though. The first novel had sort of a balance between Mia changing things by coincidence and Mia changing things as a result of a change of perspective. I felt this one was sort of a regression in that front, with almost everything being a result of sheer luck. The conflict with the tribesmen was great, but its resolution was too clear-cut for me. The disappearance of the diary midway took out a lot of the dramatic tension. All the twelve-year-olds infiltrating a supposed warzone was quite unrealistic, mostly in how the adults reacted to it. The clash of ideals between Abel and Shion was a great idea, but I think it was underdeveloped. And I felt that the conclusion of Sion character arc was too on-the-nose.

On the other hand, I liked -a lot- the fact that Mia had earned a Royalist resistance in the last volume, the fight against the future famine, the deal with Chloe´s father, the conflict with the tribesmen (with two different political cultures and sets of values), the revolutionary secret plot and the fact that both Tearmoon Empire´s and Remno´s were “manufactured revolutions” (very interesting parallels with the French Revolution), the idea of a conflict of ideals between Abel and Shion, the Penal King/ Libra King concept and the participation of both Sunkland spies and a satanic cult of sorts as fuelers or the revolution. I´d have liked more emphasis on Tiona, I think.

2. What are your thoughts on the characters, old and new?

Mia

Jeskai Angel: One thing that struck in this volume is that Mia herself has changed. She’s still not the great sage that everyone else thinks she is, but it feels like she’s moving in that direction. She can be still be quite derpy, but she’s definitely a bit more calculating than when she started. One moment that stood out was when Mia insists on sparing the lives of Jem and the White Crows…because she realizes she has no idea how or why this die-and-go-back-in-time phenomenon happens, and doesn’t want to risk any of the baddies getting a second chance and ruining everything. Mia also remains an unusually intuitive protagonist. There’s no other way she could so frequently say or do the right thing at the right time. “It wasn’t so much reasoned analysis as it was intuition,” as Narrator-san puts it at one point.

And she stays true to character in that, although she (wittingly or unwittingly) nudges people and events in the right direction, she’s still very much dependent on her friends and allies. For example, I loved this passage during Sion and Abel’s fight: “Did her words truly reach no one? No! Absolutely not! Though they fell on the deaf ears of the dueling princes, the bonds she’d forged would carry her voice. Whither would it go? Who was listening? Why, her faithful subjects, of course!” The seed/plant metaphor that runs through the book speaks to the same idea. Mia is verging on becoming a real leader — she doesn’t solve problems personally, but she does inspire others and point them toward the best course: “After all, Mia might be incompetent, but she’d surrounded herself with people who were anything but. When the Mia Brigade was on the job, problems didn’t stand a chance.” She’s a joy to read about.

stardf29: One of my favorite Mia moments in this volume is when she’s trying to figure out how to get the army away from the forest, and she decides to play up her perceived selfishness as an excuse to get the army out of there. That was quite a big brain play right there; it’s one thing to act “selfishly”, and another thing to know that people expect you to act selfishly and leverage that to solve a problem.

And yes, she’s definitely changed overall. I especially like the line at the end that says “when it came to happiness, she wanted every last piece — for herself and all those she held dear…” The old Mia would have only thought of herself, but now Mia has people she cares about and wants the best for them as well. (Even if she’s still primarily concerned about herself first…)

Gaheret: And as for her, well, I find her amusing and relatable, and I like her random strikes of brilliance, how she has come to care a little more for others, Abel especially (whatever Narrator-san may say) and also her lazy/tsundere-ish/go-with-the-flow usual personality. As I said, I enjoyed her sudden anger at those who judged and condemned her. I was puzzled by her “seductress of the Empire” behaviour with Shion, both because she seemed more carefree than I had thought (given the situation) and because she knows it could have been a huge problem for Abel´s self-esteem had he even suspected it. Giving that she is, in body and emotions, if not memories, a 12-year-old (and that, in any case, she wasn´t a very mature 20-year-old), I didn´t find her behaviour creepy, as the narrator maliciously implied, just puzzling. Why go there?

Narrator

Jeskai Angel: Am I the only one who felt the narrator was a bit mellower than in the previous volume? Still dispensing over-the-top criticism of Mia and associates, to be sure, but not quite as a harsh or vicious about it? I found it an intriguing change (or else I just imagined this change exists, LOL). It was also fun seeing Narrator-san use that razor-sharp wit to go after the bad guys. The first volume didn’t actually have any real villains, aside from Mia’s flashbacks — even her future-past enemies like Sion, Tiona, and Rafina are still just kids. As a result, all criticism was directed toward Mia and her friends. But with this volume, the narrator could start taking potshots at actual evildoers, and I loved it.

Sion

Jeskai Angel: I feel like Sion was the big winner of this volume (besides Mia) when it comes to character development. He got some great introspective moments where Mia (sometimes unintentionally) challenged him to reconsider his simplistic, black-and-white view of justice. There was also the cool contrast between the austere “Penal King” of Mia’s first life and the more beloved “Libra King” we learn he’ll become thanks to Mia’s influence. I recall that the LNC had some criticism of Sion back when we read the first volume, and it seems to me that vol. 2 goes a long way toward acknowledging his flaws and then helping him grow beyond them.

stardf29: Yes, Sion’s development in this volume was great. That moment when Mia calls him out for planning to enact justice on Abel if necessary without first trying to set him right was a wonderful moment, both for Mia’s personal vindication over her issues with past-Sion and also for Sion to realize that maybe the beliefs he held on to up to now were wrong.

The real highlight, though, was the chapter that showed what (probably) happened in the previous timeline after Mia’s execution. It’s very easy to appreciate how much better things are in the current timeline when we see how bad things got beforehand, and this definitely applies to the character of the “Penal King” versus that of the (future) “Libra King”. Past Sion’s story is a particularly tragic one; I can imagine few things worse than “dying unloved”. But now that he finally knows what it’s like to be in the wrong, and to have to deal with guilt, he can finally become a respectable ruler.

Gaheret: Well, that was a lot of teasing, both by Mia and by the novelist. Sion clearly liked Mia in the previous volume, but in this one, it´s hard to tell. He clearly admires and respects her and is willing to fight to help her, but has to be aware of the fact that she has chosen Abel. He doesn´t show any jealousy, is sincere when asked about his ideals and motives and reacts to her teasing (without knowing that it´s intentional) in the way any boy his age would react. Yet, the novelist keeps teasing us, maybe to make fun of Mia´s tactics of… revenge? Beautiful celebrity syndrome? I don´t know. In any case, as stardf29 and Jeskai have commented in detail, we are shown how he learns to have mercy, a much-needed development for his character.

Dion

Jeskai Angel: First, it throws me off every time Dion’s last name comes up, because in my head, Alaia is the name of an ancient Forthorthian princess. His last name should be Sanders. LOL. Dion was most notable “new” character of this volume, and I liked how the story retrofitted him into Mia’s history. The guy operating the guillotine didn’t really come up in vol. 1, but logically someone had to do it. It was a cool way to bring in a “new” character who had “always” been part of the story. Mia fainting upon seeing him was good for a laugh, but also a reminder that she really experienced that first life and bears scars from it. I liked that Dion feels more analytical and mature than most of Mia’s associates (Ludwig being the exception). It’s perfectly fitting, since Dion is older, more experienced, and exhibits qualities needs to become a general, but it’s great that the author/translator can successfully communicate that difference. There’s also delightful irony of role reversals, as Dion goes from Mia’s executioner to her bodyguard.

Gaheret: About Dion Alaia, I´m with Mia (sorry, Jeskai): I find him unsettling. What sort of Colonel Kurtz figure wanders out of the forest after his men have been killed in action and avenges them by personally executing the 21-year-old daughter of his king? Or infiltrates a foreign Kingdom, there being peace between it and the Empire, and provokes the most powerful fighter of the troop to a duel to the death? “Dion shot her a glance before letting out a very conspicuous sigh of reluctant resignation and plunging both swords into the ground. Then he gave Bernardo a questioning gaze, who tsked and lowered his “spear” with a grimace”. Dion´s loyalty seems to depend on his judgement about the cunning of his superior in any particular decision, he acts as if he had a death wish and joins Mia´s team because he thinks it will be fun. On the other hand, he is competent and effective, and the flashforward chapters tell us that he will be loyal, too. Even so…

stardf29: All I’ll add to this is, Dion was looking like the guy that was most likely to see through Mia’s “not actually that great of a Sage” thing, but then Mia pulls a genuinely brilliant move (mentioned earlier) and now he’s got as bad of a case of Mia-itis as anyone else. But yeah, it’s cool to see Mia’s executioner in the past show up here, and have him ally with her as someone who can handle some of the… grittier? parts of Mia’s reforms.

As for his connection with a certain Rokujouma character… I’m sure I can come up with some kind of convoluted way the two are related if I really wanted to.

The new villains

Gaheret: I liked them. I felt Jem was an appropiated villain, sinister, clever, a fanatic, fearsome and unafraid of death, with the most generic plebeian name in the country he has infiltrated. I would have liked more personal details about him. Similarly, the unnamed assasins, Graham corrupting the Sunkland spies sounded realistic to me (reading about people like Kim Philby, Guy Burguess, James Jesus Angleton or Yuri Noshenko makes you realize how confusing and potentially corrupting the world of intelligence and counterintelligence is). Concerning Monica Buendia, I was thrilled to hear that she had killed Prince Abel in the previous timeline (with Marat and Mata Hari vibes), and I symphatize with her troubles. In a way, encountering her meant that the new Abel was confronting the old, which was especially welcome given that he had larguely been absent. That said, I´m not a fan of how things were played out, especially the melodramatic white crow/black crow thing. I´d rather prefer that we hadn´t been told what she had sent.

Lambert, the so-called Frontman and Firebrand, was a character I liked. Probably my favorite villain of this novel. A very young, orphaned, impoverished nobleman with a gift for discourses, popular and clever, with a loving but very worried sister, Lynsha. He starts talking about politics in a tabern, and ultimately leads the uprising against the Remno Government. We know that the people are being manipulated. While angry, they don´t want a war, or their king killed, or a bloodbath. Lynsha thinks that he is being infatuated carried by the situation, and blind to the consequences. But it turns out that this is not the case. He is fully aware of the plan, and is on board. This could have made everything much more difficult, given that there was a personal angle on both sides of the conflict, but it didn´t. Lambert is pardoned and we probably won´t see much of him. It´s a pity, I think he had potential.

The rest of the villains are proud, vain people in positions of power who cause trouble by their arrogance and egoism, as Viscount Berman, Remno´s king or, to a lesser degree, Mia´s flippant father. Part of the diplomatic game consists in appealing to the things they value or respect (status, military honor, Mia herself) to solve the conflict without violence: I liked that approach. While they need to be corrected, I think that, when possible, this is the best way. After all, blessed are the peacemakers.

Other characters

Gaheret: Concerning the heroes, this novel has a similar structure to the first one, with Anne and Ludwig, fiercely loyal but blinded (to a point) by the achievements of Mia, helping her deal with the Tearmoon Empire, and with Shion, Keithwood, Abel, Rafina and Tiona playing a role in how she dealt with her social life, romantic life and international troubles in the second. Chloe´s merchant father Marco, Viscount Berman, the Lulu chief, the honest priest of Rafina and the Outcount of Rudolvon were credible characters with their own personality and motivations, and I liked that, and also how they were played (though I felt that the resolution of the Lulu´s chief conflict by pure coincidence was not as interesting as this could have been). Tiona´s maiden and Tiona´s brother, on the other hand, were less developed, and I feel there was a certain degree of Bakarina syndrome in how they were dealt with.

I liked Lynsha and the Diamond Spear well enough in their small supporting roles. In this volume, Rafina supports Mia and advises Anne, but to me, she still seems to be ready to cut ties and punish you in the second you do an evil deed. Chloe has a short appaerance, and I would like to see more of her and Mia acting as friends. Tiona appears briefly in the first volume, writes to Mia, doesn´t show signs of being in love with Prince Sion and, outside a significant moment in which she defends Mia´s honor in front of the king of Remno, inspiring the Diamond Spear to do the same, remains mostly out of the scene. I think she would be a very interesting rival/friend, but things don´t seem to be going that way. In general, I think it´s sad that to this point, Mia consistently can´t let her more carefree, tsundere-ish, impulsive personality show in front of anybody except (to a point) Anne and Abel. Her friends love her, but also misunderstand her, and she should be known and loved for what she is.

Anne and Abel had less protagonism that in the previous volume, while Ludwig´s position was similar. I liked how, at least, the first was able to see Mia being lazy, reprimand and advise her, and then save her. I hope Mia manages to tell her the truth about herself, or some of it, in the future. Concerning Abel, he is now a gallant knight and a full-fledged prince who behaves as such. I´m not 100% sure, but I think he was not wrong in carrying out the orders of his father and leading the army against the popular uprising (heh, just like him), and then trying to reform the country from the inside. My only complain is that, with so little time, we don´t see his development. Ludwig remains loyal, clever, useful and kind, but I think he and Mia have lost the personal connection they had in their previous life, and that helped her so much.

stardf29: So Lynsha is a cool gal. She obviously realized something was wrong and did what she could to find a way to resolve it, even if she did resort to some kidnapping to get it done… Anyway, I mention this because she has enough of a presence in this volume that I kind of wonder if she’ll show up more in the future…

We see a bit of Abel here, but perhaps most interesting regarding him is his effect on others back in Remno, particularly the maid and spy Monica. Realizing that he had grown into someone capable of changing Remno’s misogynistic ways and then basically exposing the White Crows’ plans, she shows just how Mia’s “sowing the seeds of hope” have grown. And again, it makes me wonder if we’ll see more of Monica in the future…

(Am I saying this because of certain things I’ve read in the prepubs of the third volume? Maybe…)

Lynsha even gets a full illustration, so clearly they want us to know what she looks like.

3. This volume introduces a greater evil force that is trying to bring the world into chaos. What do you think of this addition to the story?

Jeskai Angel: I didn’t much care for this twist the first time I read this volume, but it grew on me when I reread the volume for our discussion. This may sound ridiculous, but part of what bugged me about Jem’s group (not the White Crows, but whatever organization he really works for) was it’s unhistorical nature. I adored the many nods to real history that appeared in the first volume. Since the French Revolution was not the result some evil international conspiracy, so it felt jarring to have a sinister organization of chaotic evil in Mia’s world. It was like the first volume had a lot of historical allusions, but then the second one turned around and said “Forget history, let’s have a secret evil conspiracy instead!” But, as I said, the second time I read vol. 2, I found myself more accepting of this plot twist.

First, it occurred to me that there are certainly evil spiritual forces working unseen in the world. If I reframe Jem and his ilk as anthropomorphized quasi-demonic agents, working in unseen to lead people astray and cause chaos and suffering, then their presence in the story is more palatable. This is especially true in light of the existing supernatural (time-travel) element of the story. If we posit the existence of some benevolent force that gave Mia a second chance, it seems possible that there might be evil forces, too. I don’t expect this series to become high fantasy or anything, but it’s certainly plausible that supernatural forces’ role in the story will go beyond just Mia’s unexplained time travel. So, basically, refocusing on the supernatural premise of the whole story made me more accepting of the sinister-agents-of-chaos twist.

Second, I more fully appreciated the narrative function of Jem’s organization this time around. When I first read the book,I only saw Jem’s group as a regrettable divergence from the historical flavor of the tale. This time, though, I recognized that establishing a “greater scope villain” creates a bridge between the initial “Prevent the French Tearmoon Revolution” story arc and wherever the story might go from here. We can accept that Mia has successfully altered the timeline enough to avoid the guillotine, while not completely abandoning the story’s initial premise. Having this plot thread keeps Mia’s struggles thus far from becoming irrelevant to her continuing story.

Gaheret: I think I may go on a little about why I liked this development. At University, somebody told me to read Aristotle´s “Poetics”, and I remember this idea that a tragedy is simply history, but told as if the events were an unavoidable, chained to one another until the inevitable conclusion comes. This is why they are great means to learn about the world of human passions and human flaws. Mia´s story was like that: As the Marie-Antoniette of popular culture, she was the embodiement of a corrupt, cruel, vain and egoistical aristocracy which, in a way, brought her own demise upon herself by enraging their people more and more with their capricious and unjust behaviour. And thus, we saw how both the Tearmoon Empire and Mia´s personal world were bound to fall, and what were the deep and superficial causes related to her flaws as a person.

On the other hand, Tolkien observed how a story with a happy ending usually includes a “deus ex machina”, an “eucatastrophe”, which breaks this chain in the darkest moment, offering a path towards hope. Tearmoon Empire was unusual in that this eucatastrophe happened at the beginning. The story played with the fact that people are generally aware of how the French Revolution developed to subvert expectations. It worked, and it still works. It would seem that an evil cabal planning the Revolution, or it suddenly happening in Remno and not the Empire, or to setting Abel´s and not Mia´s flaws as the possible cause, may undermine the message. In fact, I think it deepens it.

How do revolutions work? It is interesting that they happen at times of reforms: It seems counterintuitive, but these are times of unrest and political struggle, after all, when ideas are in the air and everything seems possible. There are ideologues. There is propaganda, and manufactured incidents are very common. As we discussed, unlike Mia, Marie-Antoniette never said the famous “feed them with cakes” line, which had been attributed to a variety of unpopular aristocrats before the Revolution. There were only seven political prisoners at The Bastille when it was stormed. Jacques Necker, the man whose role is played by Tiona´s father in the story, was used as the proximate cause of that uprising, yet when he resigned there was general indiference. The faults are real, but they are also exploited by those seeking to destroy this specific order. I like how [Graham] and Jem literalize that concept.

What I felt lacking in the portrait of the Tearmoon revolution were the ideals of the revolutionary leaders, and whose immediate effect was the dire persecution of the Christians of France. I think it is telling. A totalizing regime, an utopia, will often divinize itself and try to get rid of what it cannot subdue. That is a sign of pride, and as Jeskai Angel said, also of Demonic temptation, masking as glorious freedom what is really self-deception and servitude. While I believe that revolutions can be legitimate in extreme situations, the destruction they bring is enormous, the cycle of violence cannot be ignored, and solving political problems by destructing the opponent has a dangerous appeal. Utopias are usually revolutionary, purporting the destruction of the present order to substitute it with the ideal one. In the end, getting any sort of power may easily make us think that to us that we could do better, if only we could get rid of the human obstacles interfering with our glorious vision. Certainly, the French Revolution, which rename the months of the year, executed the nuns who would not abjure and viciously killed its own leaders, had this approach.

My favorite moment of the novel was Mia basically saying to Sion: Okay, I had terrible flaws, you were right to be angry, but why didn´t you try your best to reform me? Why did you believe the worst? Why didn´t any of you had a little more hope, a little more patience with me, instead of trying to suppress me? I didn´t like everything (in particular, I thought it was a terrible idea to warn us beforehand, as a sudden revolution in Remno and the slow discovery of the propaganda campaign behind it would have been much more vibrant this way). But I think it is a great answer, a great statement of the central theme of the novels, and a great lesson to the rest, to Sion, to Dion, to the villains, to Mia herself. Don´t give up, even if you are flawed, and dealing with what is flawed. There was unsuspected hope, and there still is. Our Lord answering the pride of the Devil with His own humility and hope, and bringing us out of what would have been our tragedy.

stardf29: While I definitely also wasn’t sure if this was the best path when I first read it, as the story went along I definitely started to really like what was going on here, particularly with the hints that this villainous faction may in fact be a demonic cult. Sure, it might not be as “historical” but then again, the idea of a “devil” trying to cause problems in the world is definitely Biblically true for our world, even if there’s no explicit historical records of such. It also helps paint a better picture of what actually led to the revolution that ended Mia’s past life, and how just because her execution might have been averted doesn’t mean she’s “out of the woods” yet.

Also, I love how these “villains” get bamboozled by Mia in various ways (especially when it comes to horse shampoo). They’re a threat, but certainly nothing Mia can’t handle.

4. Last volume we discussed a number of topics about the world itself like the nature of the time travel and whether this story’s world has a “god” or not. How has the second volume affected your view of the story world?

Jeskai Angel: On meta level, I know light novels and anime almost never include the kind of all-powerful, one-of-a-kind deity found in religions like Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. (The only exception I can think of is Invaders of the Rokujouma!?.) So from that angle, I don’t expect the story’s world to have a “God,” at least not one that bears the least resemblance to the Lord we serve. This volume hasn’t changed that view.

However, it has made me more inclined to think this world/story will have supernatural forces. This volume gave us the scene where Mia’s diary disappeared once she altered the past enough, and also the self-erasing anachronistic history book Mia found. Beyond that, there’s the unconfirmed but possibly (?) supernatural associations of Jem’s group, and the hint that Mia is going to end up interacting with one of her distant descendants. If the only remotely supernatural aspect of the story was Mia jumping back in time after dying, the story could probably get away with leaving it unexplained. As the story adds more “doesn’t normally happen” elements, the need for an explanation increases sharply. (The story could also take a sci-fi turn and use advanced tech as its excuse for time travel, but based on vols. 1-2, I think the supernatural is way more likely.)

Gaheret: In the epilogue, we have this: “Whenever demonic cultists or large bandit brigades sought to sow chaos, Dion Alaia would arrive on the scene, his sword offering a swift and deadly rebuke to their ways”. Coupled with Jem terrified reaction to the prospect of being brought to Belluga (while normal bandits smiled knowing that they would be better than usual there), I think we can assume that Jem and Garret are part of those “demonic cultists”, if not downright possesed. That would explain why Jem is not affected by the perspective of death or torture, but Rafina scares him. It makes sense only if Rafina (or her people) has some kind of power to banish or exorcise them.

Rafina´s Papal parallels are now almost complete with the dialogue between Mia and the priest and this description just before: “Offering guiding sermons of salvation to the populace was the Holy Lady, Rafina Orca Belluga, who dedicated her life to maintaining peace between nations”. We come to know that Mia has providentially frustrated the plans of [Graham], so I think we can safely assume that whatever god Rafina and her church represent is the god of this world, working behind the scenes with the purpose of frustrating universal destruction, saving the Empire and/or Mia´s betterment.

It may be, too, that Jem´s terror of Rafina or Belluga is merely superstitious, but having other supernatural elements in the story, I don´t think so. Mia says that it is “As if someone had fabricated this incident to purposefully incite revolution… Or indeed, as if it were willed by God, and the invisible hand of fate were pushing the empire toward its ruin”. It may be just the translation, but I think it may be intentional. So, it is not God or Providence/fate who wills the destruction of Mia and the Empire, the Continent…, but a demonic power, and “God” is fighting against that through Mia.

Time-travel and sudden inspiration would be the means.

Oh, and the diary. Which, as I mentioned, I don´t like very much. Having it vanish in a ray of light midway, especially, suggests that the threat against Mia and the Empire has already been prevented, which makes the rest of the action less dramatic.

stardf29: As interesting as it was to ponder how this world likely has a “god” that took Mia back in time, it’s even more interesting with the aforementioned “demonic cult” implying there may be a “devil” as well, in opposition to said “god”. Now, depending on how exactly the time travel works, and if the timeline in which Mia was executed still exists (and given the story of Penal King Sion, it very well might), the “god” of this world might not quite have the power or intention to completely stop the actions of the “devil”, but at the very least, can prevent it in a different timeline. And the fact that this “god” chose Mia to be the “divine envoy” and for her to be so effective at it… that is both awesome and hilarious.

And yes, this is a great way to provide a deeper conflict that persists even with Mia’s execution stopped. All things considered, there actually aren’t all that many explicit “god vs. devil” stories in light novels these days, huh? The trend seems to be moving towards the “devil” side actually being good, or at least the “god” side being just as bad or worse as the “devil” side. So I do like this more classic “good vs. evil” setup, with plenty of Mia hilarity in the mix.

On that note, I like how Mia considered that, if she was able to go back in time as she did, it’s possible that Jem could also do the same if she were to execute him. That’s actually a very smart perspective to have (and one that I haven’t really seen as much in other time-travel stories, though admittedly I haven’t read that many of such). Whatever we as readers might figure out about how this time-travel works, Mia is completely right to consider the same might happen to other people.

5. At the end of the volume we see a possible future for Mia’s story. What do you think of this future, and the fact that Mia ultimately rejected it?

Jeskai Angel: It was a fun what-if scenario (Mia’s reaction to having eight kids was especially amusing), but I also understood Mia’s logic in saying “No, we can do better,” in terms wanting a future that doesn’t cut Abel off from his family and home. It’s also a cool illustration of Mia’s growth: she started the story wanting to make her own future better, but now she’s valuing Abel’s happiness so highly that she’d also reject a future that isn’t good for him.

Gaheret: I would love to have a large family, so Mia and Abel having eight kids sounds great to me. That said, I think I would do as her: Except for prophecies or warnings that may be a calling for us here and now, I don´t think it´s wise to live constantly thinking about the future or the best outcome.

stardf29: Yeah, as good as that future might have sounded, it’s a great sign of growth that Mia would reject it if it wasn’t the best for Abel. Plus, with Remno basically completely against Abel, does that mean that in that future, Remno will continue to stew in its misogynistic culture? Mia definitely was right to see that as an unideal future, and it definitely makes it interesting to see where her story goes from there.

Final Comments

Jeskai Angel: The main extra thing I wanted to bring up was a statement in the Ludwig-and-the-Penal-King sidestory. Describing Ludwig’s respect for his late princess, the narration says “That was the story of his regent — a princess who struggled against her fate in the worst of times.”

Am I crazy for thinking that’s a reference to the famous opening line of A Tale of Two Cities? Charles Dickens’s novel set during the French Revolution begins, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” I can’t read the phrase “the worst of times” in a context with links to the French Revolution and NOT see it as a literary allusion. Kudos to author and/or translator if this is intentional and not just coincidence.

Gaheret: I 100% agree that this is a literary allusion.

Abel may be my favorite character, so I think the moment will be this: “Prince Abel. I’ve missed you.” Her argent hair reflected the sunlight, emitting a soft glow like the moon. Wisdom radiated from her eyes, deep and coruscant. Then, there was her pearlescent skin… It was all as he’d remembered. With all the breathtaking beauty of that night at the dance party, Mia Luna Tearmoon appeared before Abel”.

stardf29: This volume concludes the first major story arc, but it’s not over yet! Volume 3 comes out on December 12th this year, and in Japan volume 6 has already been scheduled, so there’s still plenty more to Mia’s story. I definitely ready to be following Mia’s adventures for the long haul!

Jeskai Angel: Finally, if you read all this way but still haven’t read Tearmoon Empire, hurry up and go read it already! It’s awesome.

=====

Thanks for reading our discussion! As a reminder, we will be covering The Saint’s Magic is Omnipotent, Vol. 1 next month, with an earlier start time of November 14th for our discussion to account for Thanksgiving (the discussion will still conclude around the end of the month). Join our Discord if you want to discuss it along with us!

We’ll be taking December off for the holidays, but we do have January’s title announced on the Discord. I’ll make a post announcing that title next week, but if you don’t want to sit like a tree waiting for that, it’s all the more reason to join us on Discord!

#Light Novels #Christianity #Tearmoon Empire #Tearmoon Teikoku Monogatari #Tearmoon Teikoku Monogatari: Dantoudai kara Hajimaru Hime no Tensei Gyakuten Story #BtT Light Novel Club #Articles #Author: stardf29 #Author: Gaheret #Author: Jeskai Angel

[ithinkthingsaboutstuff]

Little boy blue (12)

Little Boy Blue (12)

midvale AU part 12

[TW: I have used some raciest stereotypes (don’t worry the one using them gets there ass handed to them) but i am just wanted to make sure everyone knew and could skip this one is they wanted/needed to]  

Karadox- AU of the 3x06 e.p of supergirl, in which Brainy (teen Brainy) arrives in Midvale around the e.p timeline. this is part 12 a piece of the future has come back. 

In the weeks that followed Querl has learned about many aspects of school life in the 21st centenary. One of which as dentition with the concept was explained to him he found it ‘pointless, necessary and a waste of time and resources’ the sisters agreed but he still had to go.  

another thing he learnt was that people found the fact he did not have books, pens and paper or a computer unnerving since he was still able to answer any question that was given to him. Kara gave him one of he spares and told him to just have it open on the desk and hold a pen so that he would not get any more criticism, unwanted attention or dentition's anymore.

though academically he was having no issue with his new surroundings, socially he was finding it difficult, teenagers are very different in the 31st centenary but to be fair all the teens Querl has encountered were beyond exceptional. 

He misses them greatly. 

But he did seem to be making progress with Kenneth though. He was a kind and intelligent person he just needed time to get over his awkward tendencies, Querl could understand that. In fact Kenneth had invited him to watch the stars with him and Kara through his telescope. 

Querl liked being able to use ancient technology, to hold it in his hands, to feel the weight of it and to see the stars he has pasted a hundred times in a new light. The experiences was so unique he never thought it was something he would do or even thought of doing, but it is now a memory he will hold dear to is heart forever. Not just because of the stars but talking with Kenneth and Kara as the roasted marshmallows over the fire. The convocation was of every little learned discord but the silly nurture of the questions coupled with the earnestness of the answers made Querl feel warm in way he has not felt since he was with the legion.

But there was something else. 

Something Querl had been feeling in the last few weeks that he could not completely explain. A horrid sinking feeling that something was right around the corner just out of sight, living just outside of the edge of his eye. 

The school day was going slow as usual, when lunch came around Querl and Kara all sat at a table as they waited for Kenny. Jake Howell was an interesting person, at least to Querl, in the 31st centenary there are not many humans that are so outwardly aggressive, so it was fascinating to see first hand, like watching stampede heading right for you. Querl desired to watch from a safe distance but when witnessing a fire fight you might get caught in the cross hairs. Maybe that was why he was so on edge, this place was its own battle on Querl had no experience in or had anyway to navigate on his own, maybe that is what is living behind the coroner of his eye. But deep down he knew that was not the case but he will let himself think that way until he can’t any more.

Kara looked over to Querl.

‘You ok?’

‘Yes I just have been having a strange feeling lately.’

‘Anything I can help with?’

‘I am feared I can not say at the moment.’

‘That’s ok, just know I’m here.’

‘Thank you, Kara.’

The two of them then continued to have small talk when Kenny came in and the two of them waved him over. But it seemed the stampede closed in on Kenny, Jake knocked Kenny’s zha jiang mian his mother made him to the floor. This made Kenny and Kara very upset, Querl narrowed his eyes but only observed for the moment. Jake laughed and plugged his nose,

‘Oh, Wow Kenny, did you Mom cook the dog wrong.’

Kenny’s eyes looked down and he held in tear’s and anger as he picked put the now empty container and put the food back on the tray he was using to carry it. Querl stood slowly and walked over to Kenny and leaned down to him and cupped him shoulder before helping him. Jake then kicked Kenny’s back and Kenny stumbled and tripped into the floor. Kara then helped Kenny up to his feet. Querl slowly stood and stepped over to Jake until he was face to face, or in this case chest to face. Jake laughed in his face.

‘Awww look, Kenny’s got a boyfriend.’

‘My feeling’s for Kenneth are complete platonic, but even so your behaviour in unacceptable.’     

Jake looked back at the table and they all laughed.

‘Oh, ok, new kid what are you going to do.’      

‘I am not a violent person, so I am asking to stop this blatantly bigoted behaviour.’

Jake just smiled and shook his head, he then stepped forward.

‘And if I don’t.’

‘Then I shall take other measures. ’

‘Oh, are you going to tell on me.’

‘That is an option, however that is up to Kenneth, I will do is more, damaging.’

‘So you are going to beat me up.’

‘No, I believe you will do that for me.’

‘Right.’

a small crowed had gathered and they started chanting “fight, fight, fight.” Alex’s glared at Kara her face wore the expression of “do something Kara”. Kara went to garb Querl’s arm but he waved her off.   

Jake then took a swing at him and Querl moved his head back and spun around to where Kenny fell, Jake stepped towards Querl and took another swing, Querl then effortstly ducked and truned on his heel then using the front of his foot he kicked up Kenny’s abandoned tray and flung it up into Jake’s chest, it was not enough to hurt him but it was enough to get the food he so harshly criticised all over his clothes.   

The whole room went silent and Querl spoke.

‘I have fought much bigger bullies then you and have won, so I would suggest that you take my earlier advice and readjust your behaviour from here on out.’

Querl then simply turned his back and walked over to Kenny and Kara.

‘I am sorry I used your food to humiliate him, I simply thought it would be the most effective tool.’

Kenny had a bewildered look on his face.

‘How care’s that was awesome.’

Querl slowly nodded.

‘Well, if you are alright with it. Shall be sit back down Kenneth you can have the rest of my luch if you wish, I don’t need anymore.’

‘Thank’s man.’

The three of them then went back to the table and the whole room went back to its usual chatter but with a lot more looks making there way to the three of them.

‘Querl, you shouldn’t have done that.’

Kenny look over to her.

‘Why not Jake has had that coming for ages now.’

‘That might be true, but Querl you and me are trying to keep a low profile, there is still agents all over town and no one needs an excuse to look into us.’

Kara stated.

‘Good point, sorry Kara.’

Querl was silent for a moment before answering.

‘You are right of course, but the truth of the matter is that, the chance anyone here would make that connection in 8.78% so the odd’s were in my favour, and even if they were not the legion may not be here, but I am always a legionnaire and that mean’s to fight for justice and protect the innocent.’

Kara noted that the last statement sounded like he had said it a thousand times over and would say it a thousand times again.

‘I know but can you be more careful next time.’

‘Very well I make an effort to be less overt with these actions in the future.’

‘Thank you.’

Kara sighed softly, this must be how Alex’s feels all the time, Alex’s temper make a lot more sense to Kara now. But she is not mad at him not at all she was just worried but also a little jealous that he had the confidences to stand you and face him knowing with in good reason that there would be no real consequences. At least Jake will think twice before hurting Kenny again.

when the school day was over Kara, Kenny and Querl all headed to the library. Kara and Kenny studied and Querl looked around for books to read, he like library books as a lot of information had been lost throughout time so it was amazing to hold look through and read long lost texts. He would read over 20 very time he came in here, it was one of his favourite this in this time period. Other then the Danver’s sisters and Kenneth.   

Querl went into a dark corner of the library and examined the books covered in the most dust, he saw one at the top of the shelf and looked around for anyone in sight of him. When he confirmed there was no prying eyes, he lifted himself off the ground and took the book in his hands before gently and quietly back to the floor with his prize.

Then he heard an all to familiar sound coming from the dark aisle. 

‘No, it can’t be? not here, not now, not in this time.’

then a small black wiry object came out of the darkness.        

     to be continued...... 

#little boy blue #Midvale au #part 12 #little boy blue part 12 #brainiac 5 #brainy #querl dox #supergirl #kara zol el #kara danvers #alex danvers #kenny lee #Kenny Li #midvale au part 12 #duh duh daaa #i' am such a prick #all will be revealed #in part 13 #also i was unsure if to keep the stuff said to Kenny #i went back and forth on it alot #so i decided #to split the difference and put a #tw: racial slurs #ish #warning #on there so people would know going in #but i might remove it later as i don't know about it still #i just hate using that kind of thing a story driver #but at the same time i want the level of 'realism' with what is said to people #and lets face it I love the idea of a racist guy getting dunked on

[hushman]

Curse you Pidge the Paladin

Summary:

Pidge the Paladin (known also as Agent P) is an agent for O.W.C.A. (the Organisation Without a Cool Acronym) and dedicated to helping keep the world safe. She does this by stopping the "nefarious” schemes of “Evil Genius” Lance McClain, founder of Lance McClain Evil Inc. and evil invention tester for L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. (the League Of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United For Frightening Investments in Naughtiness). Armed with the best untested equipment L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. can supply him with, Lance will work tirelessly on his plans for global conquest, unless it's on the weekends, after 5pm or if he’s takes a personal day. Taking over the world is all fine and dandy but a good work-life balance is essential.

Rating: Everyone

Tags: Comedy, adventure,

My entry for the Plance Mini Bang over at @planceminibang

Special thank you to @oddreycharge for Beta reading this and to @perrytheplatypusgirl for making a gorgeous piece of art for this fic.

Check it here

You can read the story below or you can read it over at Archive of our Own

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19764709

Enjoy

****

Pidge, hotshot O.W.C.A. agent, arrived in her secret base in a teal smart suit, orange tie, brown fedora, and black-rimmed glasses. She sat down in her chair in front of a screen as her boss, Coran Smythe, appeared onscreen.

“Greetings, Agent P,” Coran said. “Our intelligence shows strange frequencies being transmitted from the headquarters of Lance McClain as well as “how to detect increase in bird behaviour” on his web history. Your mission is to go there and put a stop to whatever nefarious scheme he is up to. Best of luck, Agent P.”

Pidge gave a salute, climbed into her jet-powered hover car, and flew off just as her theme song was starting.

Dooby dooby doo-bah Dooby dooby doo-bah Dooby dooby doo-bah Dooby dooby doo-bah Pidge!

She's a computer savvy, tech loving lady of action! (Dooby dooby doo-bah) (Dooby dooby doo-bah) She's a scrappy young hacker, Who'll never flinch from a fray-ee-ay-ee-ay!

She's got more than just all that, Fe(Wah-ah-ah) She's got a snazzy suit and a hat, Fe(ah-ah) And the men all swoon whenever they hear her sa-a-a-ay

“Hold up, who said anything about swooning?”

She’s Pidge, Pidge the Paladin But you can call her Agent P. Pidge! I said you can call her Agent P! A-gent-P!

A short flight later, she arrived at Lance McClain Evil Incorporated by crashing through a skylight.

Waiting for her was Lance McClain in a lab coat and holding a remote.

“Ah, Pidge the Paladin, what an unexpected surprise,” Lance commented. “And by that I mean entirely expected!”

Lance pushed a button. A massive pole popped behind Pidge. Before she could react, a stream of bola flew in, tying her to the pole.

“It appears you have fallen for my cunning trap.”

“Cunning trap?” Pidge deadpanned. “This is the third time you've tried to use this thing. You even marked out on the floor where you wanted me to stand.”

“And yet, you fell for it,” Lance crowed in rebuttal.

Pidge gave as much of a shrug as her restraints allowed. “I wanted to see if you had fixed the aim on the bola launchers.”

Lance pursed his lips. “Fine, act all high and mighty tied to that pole while I enact my evil scheme.”

“And by “enact”, you mean tell some backstory to justify whatever hairbrained scheme and device you have today.”

Lance ignored this jab as he introduced his latest “tragic backstory”.

“You see, it harkens back to my miserable youth spent in my cold and unforgiving fatherland.”

“You grew up in Cuba.”

“It’s a metaphor,” Lance snapped back before continuing. "My siblings have always despised me."

"Just last week, you said Veronica was wrapped around your little finger and loved you with all her heart."

"That was last week,” Lance dismissed. “As I was saying, I was left to face the endless shame and ridicule from my elder siblings. But no more! Finally, they shall learn true terror with this: the Fowlagitationinator!”

Lance flung his arms flamboyantly towards the glorified satellite dish.

“So what exactly does it do?” Pidge asked.

“I am so very glad you asked.” Lance paused briefly as he failed to discreetly pull back his sleeve notes. “This device will emit a frequency that will increase the aggression in every bird within the city.” He read monotonously, “All urban activities will grind to a halt as everyone is terrorised by millions of feathery foes, leaving the city ripe for the taking.” His voice and arms pitched in confidence, dropping his speaker notes in the process.

“Millions?” Pidge raised an eyebrow. “I think you’re overestimating the city’s bird population.”

“I was going for dramatic effect.” Lance let out a groan. “Look, you’re here to thwart my schemes, not criticise them.”

“Fair enough,” Pidge conceded. “Speaking of thwart...”

At that moment, the restraints fell off her body.

“So, did it actually take you this long to escape, or were you waiting for me to finish talking?”

“Didn’t want to be rude.”

Pidge pounced at Lance with a jump kick. The man dodged with a last minute swivel, just barely missing Pidge’s boot. While the first strike had not connected, it had placed her between Lance and the device. He tried to throw a right hook at her. Pidge ducked and delivered a double palm strike to Lance’s abdomen.

“Your gut feels firmer,” Pidge commented. “Have you been working out?”

“Why yes, I have. Thank you for noti..Argh!” Lance was interrupted by Pidge flooring him with a roundhouse kick.

“Are you ever going to not fall for the compliment sucker punch?” The agent snorted.

She fell to ground with a yelp when Lance yanked one of her legs.

“It’s not a crime to appreciate it when you notice the effort I put into this body,” Lance replied as he stood up and wiped his mouth to check for blood. “Speaking of which, would you stop going for the face?”

“Sure.”

Lance managed to catch Pidge’s foot before it connected with his groin.

“Not what I meant.”

Lance flung Pidge by her leg across the room, causing her to hit the brick wall with a crash. He raced to press the large red button on the device. Pidge fired her grappling gun. The cable shot out, wrapping around Lance’s arm and pulling him back. He managed to get his arm free from his lab coat in time to bring his guard up against a furious onslaught of limbs.

What followed was a series of back-and-forth blows. While Lance had a higher endurance, Pidge was harder to hit. This continued unabated until he picked up a nearby chair. Pidge snatched a stool of her own.

Before either of them could take a swing, a ringtone interrupted the battle. Both Lance and Pidge put down the chairs.

“Is that your phone or mine?” Lance asked.

“Yours,” Pidge replied. “I changed my ringtone last week.”

“Huh.” Lance checked his phone. “It’s my brother. I’d better take this.”

Pidge nodded her consent as Lance answered the phone.

“Hey Luis, how’s it going?...Not too bad. Same old, same old...Yeah, she’s here to thwart my scheme...Nah, it’s fine, what’s up? Sure I can watch them tonight...not a problem at all...You’ll be here at 7? Yeah, that's fine.” Lance looked up and saw Pidge pointing to her watch. “Listen I’d better get back to work but I’ll see you tonight...Love you too.”

Lance hung up and put away the phone.

“Thanks for that, so do you want go back to chairs?”

“Nah, the moment’s gone.”

“Fair enough.”

Pidge proceeded to duck and perform a leg sweep, causing Lance to fall to the ground. As he picked himself up, Pidge raced over to the device. She pushed the self-destruct button and pulled out her grappling gun. She fired out a line, yanking herself through the skylight as the device exploded.

“CURSE YOU, PIDGE THE PALADIN!” Lance yelled.

Once he was certain was alone, he picked up a broom and started cleaning up the debris.

“You know, just once, it would be nice for her to stick around to help with the clean up.”

****

Lance had just finished sending his report to head office when the doorbell rang. He opened the door and was tackled by two blurs of energy.

“Come on you two, don’t break Uncle Lance within the first two minutes.”

“Hey, I can take it,” Lance laughed. “How about you both pick a game on the gameflux?”

At that sentence, the two raced off to where the gameflux was set up.

“I swear that thing is 90% of the reason they like me babysitting,” Lance commented.

“Well, that and the fact you usually offer pizza,” Luis said. “So you okay? You’re developing a bit of a bruise.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Lance replied. “The agent O.W.C.A. assigned to me just got a lucky hit in.”

“The compliment sucker punch?” Luis asked.

“Gets me every time.”

“You know, man, you really need to see about getting out of that franchise.”

“Eh…” Lance gave a non-committal shrug. “It’s not that bad. Besides, we both know it takes three million dollars to buy out of the place before the two years are up. I got into this mess. I can take the lumps to wait it out.”

“Just promise me you’ll stay safe.”

“Trust me it’s fine. Sure, that woman kicks my butt on a regular basis, but at least we’re keeping things professional.”

Luis rolled his eyes. “Only you would consider being punched in the face as professional.”

“Well, it kinda is her job to punch me in the face since I am technically trying to take over the city slash country slash world.”

“That sounds like the best job in the world.”

“Love you too, bro.”

With a quick hug, Luis left. 20 minutes after watching his niece and nephew screech at each other in Combat Cousins X, Lance heard the doorbell.

He answered the door. Standing there was Katie Holt, holding a couple of pizza boxes.

“Battle supplies as requested,” she said with a wink.

“Thanks, Katie. You're a lifesaver.”

“Oh please, considering the stuff I’ve seen you survive, you’re practically immortal,” Katie replied flippantly.

Lance scowled at her suspiciously. “What exactly have you seen me survive?”

“For starters, Charlene LeManche.”

“Objection withdrawn.”

Katie’s watch started vibrating.

“Excuse me.”

She stepped out onto the balcony. Satisfied that Lance had given her privacy, she activated her watch to see an image of Coran.

“Hope I’m not bothering, Agent P,” Coran said. “I just wanted to congratulate you another job well done.”

“Thanks, Coran. Though if you don’t mind, I’d better head back inside. Secret identity to maintain and all that.”

“Of course. Have a good night, Agent P.”

Katie hung up on Coran and went back inside. Tomorrow, she would probably be kicking Lance’s butt again, but she was perfectly satisfied with beating him at Pancake Dojo 2 whilst enjoying a slice of pepperoni pizza tonight.

****

It was Tuesday morning. Lance had finished his breakfast and was savouring the first sip of coffee. The blissful start was interrupted by the doorbell. He answered the door to find several men with crates.

“Morning, guys,” Lance said as he stepped aside to let the movers in.

After everything was moved into the open space “Evil Lair” area, Lance got to work opening first crate.

“Alright, let’s see what L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. cooked up for me today.”

Lance pulled out a letter from his superior. The latest device was something called the Vapourmatroninator. Apparently, there was a little extra assembly required.

After all the other crates were opened, Lance realised that that by “a little extra assembly”, they meant that this assemble would be bigger than a minivan, yet not a single piece was bigger than the palm of his hand.

“No worries. So long as the instructions are clear, I’ll just work through it piece by piece.”

Not only were the instructions incomprehensible, Lance wasn’t even sure that it was in English. After an hour of failing to make any headway, he picked up his phone.

“Hey Hunk, I need some help with building the latest world conquest machine… I know what I’m doing. It’s these instructions that make no sense...Look, can you come help me without making fun of me?...Alright, but can you still come or not?...Thanks, Hunk. You’re the best.”

****

Pidge kicked open the door to Lance McClain Evil Inc. at 4 p.m. on the dot.

She was ready to get her thwart on when she saw Hunk working on the device. He looked up to see Pidge standing there.

“Katie? What are you doing here?” Hunk asked. “And what are you wearing?”

Before Pidge could answer, Lance walked in.

“Hi Pidge, sorry I’m running a little behind so I had to call in some help.”

“Wait, this is Pidge?” Hunk asked in disbelief.

“Oh right, where are my manners?” Lance said. “Hunk, this is my nemesis Pidge. Pidge, this is my friend Hunk.”

“This is Pidge?” Hunk asked again. “As in the person that thwarts your plans daily.”

“Well, it's more of a Monday to Friday basis, gotta keep that work life balance, but yes. That’s her.” Lance answered “What’s your point?”

“Lance, that’s...argh!”

Hunk was interrupted by Pidge grabbing his arm and twisting it behind his back.

“Shut up,” Pidge hissed to Hunk. “Play along and I’ll explain everything later.”

“Whoa whoa whoa, Pidge! Let him go this instant!” Lance scolded.

Pidge complied.

“Hunk doesn’t work for L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. He's just helping me out as a favour. Do whatever you want with me, but I will not have you attacking my friends!”

Pidge looked genuinely remorseful as Lance took out some money and handed it to her.

“Now you are going to say sorry to Hunk, and then you’re going to go the donut shop and pick up a dozen lemon cream-filled donuts with passionfruit sprinkles. When you get back, he should be done with the Inator and then you can thwart me.”

Pidge complied, sending Hunk one last pleading looking before heading out the door.

“Sorry about that,” Lance said to Hunk. “She honestly isn’t that bad, she’s just a little wound up at times.”

Hunk eyed Lance with utter astonishment.

“And she doesn’t remind you of anyone?” He pressed.

Lance paused thoughtfully.

“Now that you mention it, with that fedora, she kinda looks like Indiana Jones.”

“You think she looks like Indiana Jones?” Hunk asked, clearly not sure how to react.

“Kinda.”

“So when are you next due for an eye exam?”

“Next year, I think. Why?”

“Might want to move that forward.”

****

Pidge arrived with the donuts just as Hunk finished assembling the Inator. She handed them over Hunk he packed up his tools.

“Well, I better be out of your way,” he declared as he headed for the door with tools and donuts in tow.

“Leaving so soon?” Lance asked.

“Yeah, as much fun as it would be to watch you getting thwarted, I’d rather not watch the device I worked so hard on get destroyed.”

“Fair enough, catch ya later.”

Hunk shot Pidge a meaningful glance before leaving.

He hopped in the elevator and waited for the ding signalling the ground floor. Just as he exited the building, the Vapourmatroninator crashed onto the sidewalk, inches from his ears.

He could faintly hear Lance yell, “CURSE YOU, PIDGE THE PALADIN!”

****

A while later, Hunk and Pidge, in her civilian attire, were at Hunk’s favourite sandwich place. Only after he was halfway through his sandwich was he ready to address the elephant in the room.

“Alright, Katie, tell me what the heck is going on.”

“Okay.” Pidge took in a deep breath. “You remember that internship I took with a think tank? Well, that think tank is a secret government agency, and that internship is more of a field agent position.”

“So, who do you work for? The CIA?”

“No, I work for O.W.C.A., the Organisation Without a Cool Acronym.” Pidge watched Hunk raise an eyebrow. “Look, the name isn’t great, but they do good work.”

“And why exactly are you kicking Lance’s butt on a daily basis?”

“When Lance signed on to an employment contract with L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. that marked him as an ‘evil genius’, O.W.C.A. protocol is to assign an agent to be a nemesis to every evil genius. This was my first nemesis assignment, so the higher ups wanted to assign me to something lighter to chew on.”

“And the fact that you and Lance being friends isn’t against policy?”

“It would be if Lance recognised me,” Pidge explained. “I would get reassigned and he would get a new nemesis. I’ve been busting his scheme for nearly a year, and I thank whatever miracle that he still hasn’t worked out that I’m his nemesis.”

“How can he not know? All you do is put on a hat and glasses. You don’t even change your voice!”

“Look, are we really going to debate Lance’s intelligence? He has some strong suits, but he signed on to an evil organisation because their name was L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. And it took three weeks of being friends with him before he realised I was a girl.”

“To be fair, we were 12 at the time, but I see your point,” Hunk conceded. “But why stay as Lance’s nemesis? Franchise or not, you know Lance isn’t evil. Wouldn’t you rather spend your time taking down real bad guys?”

“Three reasons,” Pidge explained. “First, if I don’t do it, O.W.C.A. will send someone else, someone who will actually think he's evil. Second, Lance has been a surprisingly useful asset in undermining L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.

Any tech that fails with Lance tends to get scrapped, so stopping Lance also prevents some of the actually dangerous tech from being used by actual evil geniuses.”

“And the third?”

“Being Lance’s nemesis means that my work day is usually done by 5 and I get weekends off. Nothing wrong with appreciating a good work/life balance.”

Hunk rolled his eyes at this. “Alright, so what happens now?”

“Well it’s up to you,” Pidge explained. “Standard procedure would be to take you in to have your memory erased.”

Hunk choked on a piece of sandwich. A long sip of his drink helped him to speak again.

“Erase my memory?”

“Just the events of today,” Pidge assured him. “But if you promised to keep this secret under wraps I could conveniently forget the part where you recognised me when I file my report.”

Hunk deliberated for a moment. “Alright, I don’t like keeping this from Lance, but I’m not risking forgetting my great aunt’s banoffee pie recipe over this.”

“Thanks Hunk,” Pidge said gratefully.

“Though if you ask me, the real reason you like this gig is because you get to spend all your time with Lance.” Hunk emphasised his statement with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

Pidge glared at Hunk. “Don’t make me change my mind.”

“That wasn’t a no,” Hunk singsonged.

Pidge was about to respond only to let out a cough.

“You alright?”

“It’s nothing,” Pidge replied.

****

Wednesday morning was somewhat easier for Lance. The day’s Inator came in mostly assembled. So now all he had to do was wait for Pidge to arrive.

An hour later still had no Pidge. He was starting to worry. Just then, his phone rang. He answered for only to have his ear fill with the noise of hacking.

“Hey Lance,” Katie said in between coughs. “Sorry I can't make game night.”

“Jeez Katie, you don’t sound good.”

“It’s fine, just gotta rest up and I’ll recover soon.” She let out more coughs.

After hanging up with his friend, Lance felt conflicting emotions swirling in his chest. He really wanted to check on Katie, but he was also meant to be trying to take over the city in time to get thwarted.

It certainly was a dilemma.

****

Allura the Altruist was on her way home from stopping her nemesis when she got a call from Coran.

“Great work, Agent A. Though would you stopping by Lance McClain Evil Inc? Agent P is not feeling well.”

“Right away, Coran.”

Flying her car over to Lance’s evil lair, she parked her car on the roof and dropped elegantly through the sky light, ready to battle. To her surprise, the lair was completely abandoned. She then noticed a large device in plain sight with a note attached.

Dear Pidge,

Sorry I can’t be there. Had to go check on a sick friend. I’ve marked out the self destruct button. See you tomorrow.

Lance McClain

P.S. Curse you, Pidge the Paladin!

Against her better judgement, Allura pressed the marked out button. As she left the ruins of the lair, she couldn’t help but wonder if O.W.C.A should reassess Lance’s threat level.

****

“Here you are, Katie,” Lance said as he carried in a steaming bowl of soup.

“Thank you,” the sick girl wheezed as she took the soup. “You didn’t have to come over to take care of me. Don’t you have work?”

“It's all good,” Lance said dismissively. “I’ve got it covered. Besides, I wouldn’t leave you hanging.”

Katie blushed. If asked, she would claim it was fever.

****

On Thursday, a recovered Pidge arrived at Lance McClain Evil Incorporated, refreshed and ready for a day of thwarting. She flew in through an open window. As she arrived in the lair, she realised Lance wasn’t there.

“Er...hello?”

“Pidge! I’ll be right there,” Lance called out before coughing.

A dishevelled and ill-looking Lance stepped into the lair. He was still in his pyjamas and his lab coat was crooked.

“What a...an unexpected sur…” Lance started coughing again. “Sorry, think I might’ve caught something from my friend.”

Pidge looked at Lance in dismay. “You should be in bed,” she scolded.

“No, no, it’s fine,” Lance insisted. “So, behold my… achoo!.... Latest invention the...Something...inator!”

Lance gestured towards a crate that was barely even opened.

“With this I...shall take over the...world.” Lance’s half-hearted speech was shot through with more coughing.

“Lance, seriously, go to bed. I can come back and stop you tomorrow.”

“No, I flaked on you yesterday. I’m not going to do it twice.” Lance raised his fists, staggering slightly as he fought to keep balance. “Thwart me if you dare.”

Rather than fight, Pidge took hold of his hand and dragged him to the kitchen. She pushed him into a chair and silently heated up a can of chicken soup. She plopped the bowl in front of him and said, “Eat.” After making him eat all of it, she hauled him to his bedroom. She took off his lab coat and pushed him into his bed.

“There,” she quipped as she draped a blanket over him. “I’ve thwarted you. Now get some rest.”

“Curse you Pidge the...zzzzz,” Lance was asleep before he was even able to finish his sentence.

Not too long after, Katie arrived to check up on Lance.

****

Friday came as Pidge arrived at the hideout.

“Ah Pidge the Paladin, so nice to see you,” Lance greeted. “Sorry about dropping the ball the last couple of days. Still, I promise to make up for it as I unleash my TRINITY OF TERROR!”

There was a dramatic orchestra and flashes of lightning.

“Head office finally approved your effects budget?” PIdge asked.

“Why yes, thank you for noticing. Anyhoo, behold! The Degravitinator!” Lance held out a handheld, ray-gun-looking device. “Capable of disrupting the personal gravity of its victims. Behold the Plantinator!” He gestured towards a device with a large antenna. “Capable of sending out a pulse that will cause all the plants in the city area to grow at an uncontrollable rate. And finally the DX7J.” He pointed to a large cubic machine. “Capable of...something equally evil, I guess.” He noticed Pidge’s raising eyebrow. “Cut me some slack, not only did I have to finish building yesterday’s device, head office sent me two inators instead of one today. It's a miracle I know what the first two do.”

“And you had time to set up the special effects?”

“Look, are we going to fight or waste time criticizing my workplace priorities?”

Lance jumped back just in time to dodge a right hook from Pidge. He aimed the ray gun at Pidge and fired. Pidge jumped out of the way, narrowing missing the purple ray that shot out. The ray instead hit a nearby couch. It glowed purple as it started to float. Lance continued firing at Pidge. The agent kept ducking until a desk, several crates and a metal barrel were floating.

“Darn it!” Lance muttered. “Why didn’t they put a decent sight on this thing?”

Pidge leapt onto a floating crate, hoping to get high ground. She leapt to another crate to avoid the ray. She finally lunged at Lance with a flying kick. The kick hit Lance squarely in the chest before he could let out another shot. He fell back to the ground and accidentally pulled the trigger.

A purple beam shot out and hit the Plantinator. The Inator started to float in the air. Seeing her opportunity, Pidge kicked with all her might. It flew out the open balcony door. It then came to a rest between the two buildings.

Both Lance and Pidge stared at the floating Inator.

“Honestly, I wasn’t sure I was expecting,” Pidge admitted.

“Well, we can’t leave that out there,” Lance said. “Eventually, the ray will wear off, and it'll fall onto incoming traffic. I already got a citation for what happened with the Vapourmatroninator. I don’t need another.”

“Fair enough, any ideas?”

“Do you have your grappling gun?”

“In shop getting a tune up. You?”

“The winch on mine broke and I’m still waiting for the replacement to arrive. How about your hover car?”

“Came here on the moped today.”

“Fair enough.”

Lance turned a dial on the ray gun and aimed it at the floating Inator. He fired a red ray that vapourised the floating inator.

“That thing has a disintegrator setting?” Pidge asked in shock.

“Yeah, you really think that would be the main feature of this thing.”

“If it could do that, then why were you bothering with the gravity setting?”

“I’m not firing a disintegrator ray in my own lair,” Lance said indignantly.

“That’s surprisingly responsible of you.”

“Thank you.”

“Still got to destroy it.”

“Fair enough,” Lance replied as he turned the ray gun back to gravity mode.

Lance spun round, firing the ray gun at Pidge. Pidge dropped and sweeped out Lance’s legs, causing him fall flat on his back. “Nice move,” Lance said, winded but clearly impressed.

“Thanks.”

Pidge picked up the nearby raygun and smashed it against the handrail. She then started to head back inside to deal with the DX7J only for Lance to snatch her foot, tripping her up.

Lance scurried to place himself between Pidge and the DX7J.

What followed was another fist fight. Lance was holding his own until Pidge hit him with kick to the gut, knocking him backwards.

Lance bumped into the DX7J, turning it on. Sounds of moving parts and sloshing liquid echoed in the machine. Shortly afterwards, there was a loud ding and a small hatch on the device opened to reveal a cup of steaming liquid.

Curious, Lance picked up the cup and sniffed it. He then proceeded to take a sip, much to the panic of Pidge.

“False alarm,” Lance said. “This isn’t an Inator. It’s the coffee machine I ordered.”

“You ordered a coffee machine?”

“Yeah, and not just any coffee machine. This is top of the line, does everything from expressos to cappuccinos.”

“That sounds pricey.”

“I charged it to the head office,” Lance replied. “They’re an evil organisation trying to take over the world - the least they can do is fuel my caffeine addiction.” He proceeded to take another sip from his coffee.

Pidge nodded; she couldn’t really fault the logic.

“Wait, does that mean I already thwarted you?” She questioned.

Lance paused his drinking.

“Huh...I guess so...Oh well. CURSE YOU, PIDGE THE PALADIN!” He hollered before returning to his normal tone. “Do you want a coffee for the road? I’ve got a travel mug I can lend you.”

“Can that machine do a Chai Latte?”

Lance scoffed. “Do you honestly think I would charge my boss top dollar for a coffee machine that couldn’t do Chai Lattes?”

****

“So glad we managed to switch game night,” Lance said as he brought in a bowl of chips.

“I’m just glad neither of us are mucus factories anymore,” Pidge commented.

“I’m just glad I didn’t catch it,” Hunk commented. “So care to explain how all that stuff is floating?”

“Today’s evil invention was an antigravity ray.”

“Antigravity ray?” Hunk repeated in surprise. “How does that work?”

“I aimed the ray gun, pulled the trigger and then whatever got zapped with it would start floating.”

“No, I mean…” Hunk paused as the realisation of who he was talking to struck. “Nevermind.”

“I don’t get what the end game was,” Pidge commented “As cool as it is, I just don’t get how your bosses expected you to take over the world with an antigravity ray.”

“They don’t really look at how so much as they just throw whatever random idea that comes to them at me and wait to see what happens.” Lance explained. “I’m still not sure how I was supposed to take over the world with an iguana cannon.”

“Buddy, you really need to get out of this gig,” Hunk affirmed.

“Would love to, but we all know that’s not going to happen until my contract expires. Besides it's not so bad. I set my own hours, I don’t pay rent on this place and I now have a coffee machine. Speaking of coffee, you guys want one? It's pretty good.”

“I’m good,” Hunk said.

“Chai Latte, please,” Pidge requested absentmindedly.

Lance paused and stared at Pidge suspiciously.

“How do you know it can do Chai Lattes?”

“Would you honestly invest in a coffee machine that couldn’t do Chai Lattes?”

Lance let out a laugh.

“You got me there. One Chai Latte coming up."

As Lance went over to the coffee machine, Hunk turned to Pidge.

“You know, eventually, he is going to figure it out.”

“Agree to disagree,” Pidge replied as she watched Lance come back with her latte.

Lance handed to the latte to her. As she took a sip, Lance spoke.

“So guys, I’ve been wondering. Should I invite Pidge to join us for games night?”

PIdge did a spit take.

“Sorry,” she sputtered. “It’s a little hot.”

Hunk kept his composure.

“You want to invite the person whose job is to kick your butt on a daily basis to games night?”

“Alright firstly, I can hold my own just fine.”

“Have you ever stopped her from destroying your stuff?”

“Well, no, but that’s not the point,” Lance argued. “Neither of us take the whole thwarting thing personally, and she’s the closest thing I have to a work colleague that I actually like.”

“You like her?” Pidge asked, not really sure how to process this.

“Well sure, she’s skilled, self assured, witty and honestly kind of a badass,” Lance replied.

“She also wails on you almost every time you face off,” Hunk added.

“No one’s perfect,” Lance replied. “Come on, what could it hurt to ask her? If she says yes, it will be a chance to get to know her better.”

“If you feel so strongly, I think you should do it,” Pidge replied.

“What?” Hunk said in dismay.

“Great, next time I see her I’ll ask,” He looked down and realised his hands were empty. “Whoops, forgot my coffee.”

As he went to get it, Hunk turned back to Pidge.

“I know this week has been full of shocking revelations, but how do you plan to be two places at once?”

“I won’t have to,” Pidge replied. “I’ll simply say that O.W.C.A. forbids me from fraternising with supervillains outside of work.”

“You know that’s only going to be a temporary fix.”

“It will do for now,” Pidge replied. “I’ll cross that bridge when I reach it.”

“Yup,” Hunk replied. “Keep telling yourself that.”

#plance #plance au #plance mini bang #Lance #Pidge #Hunk #phineas and ferb #Lance being lance #bless him he is trying #flirtyrobot #Evil Genius Lance #Secret Agent Pidge

[inerdmuch]

Dark Circles, The 'Morrow

Also on my Ao3!!!

Idea by @do-you-promise

Remus, despite his outbursts, was actually very easy to make complicit. Offer him a game and he'd be enamoured for hours. This had surprised some originally. By some, it is presumed as Logan.

"Hiya Remus! How would you like to join me in a game of Jenga?" Patton asked happily. It was around eleven thirty in the morning, and it seemed a good idea to keep the side engaged until Deceit showed up to take him back. Remus eyed the tower suspiciously for a few moments, before jumping up.

"Sure!" He exclaimed, ecstatic to be included. "Usually only Deceit plays games with me. I love games!" He began bouncing up and down. Patton laughed, sharing in his growing energy, ramping up the ever-joy Remus felt.

"What do you and Deceit do?" Asked Patton, intrigued. His eyes sparkled, and Remus felt an idea spark to life. He pulled in the moral side, staring directly into his eyes. Patton swallowed. Remus looked a little bit scarier from that angle, but really he was just happy, right?

Remus conjured up an axe, and Patton felt his heart drop.

"I call it 'Blood Tag'!" Remus crowed. "If I make you bleed, you're it, and vice versa. Deceit tells me it doesn't hurt him, and it's never hurt me, even when he cut my head, so it should be fun!"

"I don't think I want to play that game," Patton's eyes widened. He took a step back, and held up his hands. Remus giggled, and hefted the axe on his shoulder. Patton turned and began running.

"You're doing the running thing!" Remus shouted happily. "I knew you'd like this game really!" He was about to give chase, lofting the blade into the air, when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He turned around, wondering if the other person would like to join in, only to see the fiery eyes of his twin. Roman did not look like he wanted to join in. In fact; he looked very angry. Remus knew that when someone was angry, it probably meant that he'd done something wrong.

He looked over his recent behaviour. Nothing too bad? Anything to warrant anger? Not really.

"Axe. Gone. Now." Seethed the prince. Remus willed it to green smoke and dropped his arms. "Why would you do that?"

"What did he do?" Asked Logan from the kitchen. By the sound of Patton's hurried explaination, it seemed he was getting the run down. Virgil had been coming down the stairs from his room, but took one look at Roman's face and slunk into the kitchen to listen to Patton.

"He said he wanted to play a game, so I told him about one Deceit plays with me, and he started running so I thought he wanted to play," Remus shrugged. "It wouldn't hurt him!"

"Uhhh, yes? It would?" Sassed Roman. Remus looked confused.

"That doesn't make sense," he muttered. "It doesn't hurt. I don't feel it." Roman rolled his eyes. He wasn't gonna listen to feeble excuses from his unstable twin.

"Well guess what, it does, and now you've scared Patton!" Roman hissed, pushing him. Remus grew ever more confused. Confusion grew to frustration. Frustration became a need to shout. But he wasn't supposed to shout here, not his usual shouts, and so he simmered. Buzzing bees bubbled up in his throat, humming wildly, wanting to be let out now, now, NOW! "I cannot wait for Deceit to come pick you up!"

Oh, it was on.

"You never liked me!" Screeched Remus. The screeching calmed the bees in his throat. "I was always the scapegoat, wasn't I, Roman! 'Remus did it, Remus did it', and I took the blame because you never could! Admit it!"

It became very still. Remus hated that even more. And he hated the stupid look on his stupid brother's face. The bees still buzzed, and he needed to let them out. He could feel himself building into a tantrum, and he remembered the advice given to him by Dr. Picani. 'Let your emotions out'. Dr. Picani was always fun to talk with. He was glad the Deceit took him.there for weekly sessions, even if he wasn't sure why.

"That's not even the worst part! The worst part is, is that you left me! When it was decided who was good and who was bad, you took it on yourself to become the hero and banish the villain! Well guess what!?" Remus was screaming now. He had tears in his eyes, and he wondered if he should lick them. Tears were salty. His voice began to crack. "I didn't want to be a villain, but you didn't care."

"Remus, I..." Roman tried to say, but it was clear that the Duke was not going to take it.

"I don't want to play anymore. I want Deceit." He turned and stalked to the bed that still said in the corner, and rolled himself in the sheets. He settled into a little lump in the blankets, rising and falling slightly as his breath gusted them up. Roman made as if to comfort him, only to be stopped by Virgil's head shake. The purple side moved to sit on the bed, and snapped his fingers, creating a thick curtain around it.

"Hey," he said. Keeping it simple and calm. Remus sniffed loudly. "Wanna talk?"

"No. Wanted to play a game but got yelled at," the lump said bitterly. Virgil hummed. "Why didn't Deceit say it hurt? He's never lied to me about important things."

"I know full well there's very little that will make us happy in the Dark Side. Maybe he just wanted to let you play and be happy," Virgil sighed. "I know full well neither Deceit or I were ever happy."

Things went very hushed under the blankets.

"How do I do things that won't make others upset? I want to know when people are scared," Remus whimpered. Virgil felt his heart tighten. He knew what it was like to be the outcast of the group, the monster everyone feared.

"I don't know how to tell you," he admitted softly. "But I can at least help fix your makeup. I'm sure it's smudged after all that emotion."

Remus poked his head out and tilted it in confusion. Before Virgil could kick himself for not remembering, Patton made a knocking sound outside the curtain. He let himself in, peering through the thick wool fabric. As soon as he saw Remus, he began to tear up.

"Oh, if I'd only known!" He howled. He tackled Remus into a tight hug, and began smothering him with apologetic words. "You should have said you don't feel pain so much! I could have he-e-e-elped you!" He descended into a chorus of wails. Virgil rolled his eyes and stood to leave. Remus coughed and looked at him imploringly. Virgil shrugged, as if to say 'Not my problem', before sauntering away.

~~~

Lunch was subdued at first. The fight still hung heavy in the air. Remus glared at Roman. Roman looked at the floor. Virgil sat on the counter, looking forward to hearing any drama. Logan ate in silence, comfortable in the tense atmosphere. Patton pushed his food around his plate.

Remus conjured a tub of spreadable cheese. Staring at his brother, he opened it, and held up a spoon. Slowly he scooped up some cheese and ate the spoonful, holding direct eye contact with Roman. Sprinkling onions all over the cheese, and raw sliced pickles, he kept eating the monstrosity. Daring his brother to look away. He added more and more to it. Bleach. Chocolate. Glitter (not the edible kind). Roman started to gag.

"Something the issue with my lunch?" Remus asked, viciously jabbing at the seemingly endless tub of cheese and... Variables. "Everyone knows that you should at least try things before you knock them. Unless you're a coward."

Virgil snorted into his pot of yogurt.

"Me? A coward!?" Roman gasped, affronted. "Give me that!"

Staring at his brother he brought a heaped spoon of the concoction to his mouth. He chewed. He swallowed. And went green, lunging for the sink as he felt the mixture take it's revenge on his cockiness. Remus burst out laughing, hitting the table with his fist and wheezing. Virgil swallowed his giggles, barely. Logan sighed and kept eating, his head down. Patton almost went to comfort Roman, only to snigger a little himself. At the affronted look he got, he shrugged.

"He got you good, Roman." He giggled. "Played to your weaknesses. But don't worry champ; I'm sure it'll have a sweet revenge!" Remus laughed harder and Logan started to groan. Why him? Why?

#sanders sides #logic sanders #thomas sanders #creativity sanders #patton sanders #princey sanders #sanders sides virgil #remus sanders #Deceit

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.27 (Gordo and the Dwarves)

A zombified David Gordon appears. Someone needs an eye mask pronto

- Lizzie and her friends just back from watching a spy film and Gordo, with his inquisitive mind wonders why super-villains always want to rule the world since it’s a huge responsibility to have. Well, Miranda doesn’t care about all of that; She just wants to be a cruise ship singer. 

- Jo passes Lizzie her birthday gift given to her by the never-before-seen Gammy Mcguire even though it isn’t Lizzie’s birthday. This isn’t the first time her grandma had sent a gift over mistakenly; Remember in episode 1.21 when she gifted Matt a $50 gift certificate for his birthday when it actually wasn’t his birthday? It seems to be an ongoing trend.

- It turns out that Gammy gifted Lizzie a board-game titled, “Dwarflord: The Conquest”, which its premise is about an exiled dwarflord who wants to reclaim his kingdom from an evil wizard. 

This definitely isn’t Lizzie’s cup of tea

- As Lizzie is about to throw her present into the bin, her mom quickly stops her and tells Lizzie to at least play it for a bit before donating it to charity if she still doesn’t like it in the end. Lizzie begrudgingly agrees and signals for Gordo and Miranda to join her.

- However, her friends aren’t feeling this board game either and give her weak but albeit funny excuses for needing to go home instead. But Lizzie does some quick thinking (and some blackmailing? lol) and manages to convince them to stay and play the game with her.  

The Dwarf Tribe

- As they are getting deeper into playing the game, the more confusing it gets as there are so many rules they need to follow. On the other hand, Gordo seems to be getting the hang of it, to the point where he’s winning. Well, this doesn’t matter because Lizzie and Miranda don’t even know he’s beating them. The game ends quickly afterwards and they decide to head out to the mall. 

- At school, Gordo tells his friends he can’t join them at the Digital Bean after school because he’s going to play Dwarflord with some other kids in school who are also into the game. They are a group that calls themselves a ‘Dwarf Tribe”. 

- We also find out here that both Larry Tudgeman and Veruca Albano, whom we haven’t seen since episode 1.9 (Election) are also part of the Dwarf Tribe. Lizzie and Miranda aren’t too happy about Gordo ditching them for Dwarflord but they can’t do much about it anyways. 

I thought Lizzie and Larry are in a good place since the events of the last episode, ‘Scarlett Larry’? I guess Lizzie will never get used to Larry’s quirks lol

- Later that evening, Lizzie and Miranda are on the phone talking about their struggles with their English homework. They decide to call Gordo but he’s busy playing Dwarflord with the others. He tells them he can’t help them with their homework because he’s obviously busy at the moment. We also get the most random/strange moment in the series so far:

DOES LARRY HAVE MAGICAL POWERS? Like what....

- Anyways, after Gordo hung up on them, they talk about how concerned they are about Gordo and how he is being too obsessed with the game. Miranda is hopeful that he will lose interest in it eventually but Lizzie will continue to keep a close watch on Gordo. 

Gordo is Totally Hooked 

- Gordo is starting to lose interest in everything besides Dwarflord and this is affecting his relationship with his best friends. He’s also losing sleep over being obsessed with the game.

-  Even worse, he’s spending all of his daily allowance on Dwarflord cards and he even lies to Lizzie and asks her if he could borrow some money for lunch when in fact, he’s using her money to buy more cards. And to top it all off, his grades are slipping and wound up failing an English test. 

- We then get the first intervention attempt for Gordo; Lizzie and Miranda asks Gordo if he could teach them how to play Dwarflord at Lizzie’s place but they only did this to plead with him to quit playing the board game. However, Gordo seems to be in denial as he feels like he can still control himself and stop playing whenever he wants. He then got angry at them and leaves.

- Matt was witnessing what just happened the entire time and talks to them about his experience (mostly Lanny’s) with the game and how it can suck the life and money out of you. 

This is such a dramatic scene; I feel like I’m watching an action adventure movie. Anyways, Matt agrees to help Lizzie and Miranda get Gordo out of his obsession just because he helped Matt to get his head out from being stuck in a banister lol

- I mean, Gordo did help Matt on plenty of other occasions as well; Like the time he helped him with his Jet Li martial arts movie and even in the last episode, where he helped Matt and Sam to repair their old soapbox racer. 

Intervention Time

- At Hillridge Middle School, Lizzie, Miranda and Matt are planning to sneak their way into the game room to retrieve Gordo but there’s a guard (yes, a guard) standing by, in front of the door. 

As you can see, Miranda is using her feminine charm to convince the guard to show her where the nearest fountain is so that Lizzie and Matt can ambush this poor kid. 

- Afterwards, they make their way to the door on the other side of the game room where they can see Veruca, I mean, Princess Candlewick preparing a dwarf brew (in reality, it’s iced tea) for Gordo and the others to drink. According to Matt, it quite likely that Gordo would need to use the bathroom afterwards. 

- As expected, Gordo comes out of the room and he gets ambushed by Lizzie and Miranda. They stuff him inside a huge trash can and starts rolling him to another room to begin his intervention. 

Gordo is being subjected to ‘aversion therapy’ lmao and Matt explains it perfectly; It’s basically pairing any bad behaviour with unwanted pain. 

Of course Miranda needs to try it too 

- This moment makes me think back to the episode, ‘Bad Girl Mcguire’ because Lizzie was also given an intervention after transforming herself into a bad girl. Anyways, they try to convince Gordo to change his behaviour by showing him examples of people whom their lives were ruined due to being obsessed with Dwarflord.

- They then play this video, which is a compilation of past moments of Gordo having fun and being a regular kid. Side note: It seems odd that they have footage of these moments but oh well, I’m going to let it slide; It’s a TV show after all.

It looks like Matt’s therapy on Gordo worked....

B-Plot: Sam Mcguire and Eduardo Sanchez’s Hangout

- Matt tells his parents he wants to study wildlife but doesn’t know where to begin, especially when there is little to no animals in the backyard. Luckily, Sam points out that they do have a bird’s nest in an oak tree in their backyard that they can observe and study. 

- Next, we see them sitting on the oak tree with a makeshift bench (I think?), waiting patiently for something to happen. Matt is bored out of his mind and proceeds to quickly escape back into the house when Jo comes over to give them snacks. 

When you have an opportunity to escape, you better take it lol

- We then see Eduardo Sanchez (Miranda’s dad) show up in their backyard to give back Sam a hedge trimmer he had borrowed. it sounds to me like Sam isn’t too keen on him being there based on the tone of his voice. Eduardo seems to be slightly curious as to why Sam is up in a tree and randomly decides to join him. 

I need more of these two together 

- It seems like a few days had gone by with the both of them continuing to be intrigued by watching the bird’s nest. Even Mrs. Sanchez (Daniela) is feeling concerned because her husband has been doing this for hours upon hours every day. 

Both Sam and Eduardo aren’t budging; They are going to stay up in that oak tree for as long as they want. 

- Oh well, that’s the best Jo and Daniela can do. They decide to head over to the spa with Eduardo’s credit card. Nice one! I would have done the same.

- Towards the end of the episode, Eduardo and Sam notice that the eggs are hatching and they call out for everybody to come out quickly to witness the moment. Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda lost interest after 10 seconds and they went straight to the mall. Wow, I thought they would be interested to see the eggs hatching at the very least. 

- Suddenly, the crow mother swoops in and attacks Sam and Eduardo and they both fall from the tree. Ouch! Oh well, that’s the end of that. 

Overall Thoughts

- I found this episode to be one of the weaker ones of the season, to be honest. I wasn’t as invested in the main plot compared to the ones in the more recent episodes, which were all really good. 

- I think the story structure felt a little too similar to the ‘Bad Girl Mcguire’ episode, which is basically a main character gets introduced to something/someone negative and they change for the worse; Hence, it’s up to their friends to help them get out of the bad situation they’re in.

- In terms of the positives, this might surprise some of you because I’ve been tough on this character but I actually enjoyed Matt quite a bit here. He had some really funny scenes in this episode and it’s cool to see him work with Lizzie and Miranda. I actually low-key think that it’s also because Lanny isn’t in this episode. Oop....

- I also liked seeing Lizzie’s and Miranda’s parents interact with one another. It provided with some good comedic moments for me as well. Overall, this episode didn’t rank high on my list and it basically comes down to the weaknesses in its A plot. 

#lizzie mcguire #disney #disney channel #disney plus #hilary duff #adam lamberg #lalaine #episode review #episode recap #disney nostalgia #old disney channel #childhood nostalgia #childhood nostaglia #gordo and the dwarves #intervention #board game obsession #game obsession #board games

[rhaellatully]

Repression

Summary: Early XXc AU. When Juvia got engaged to the rich Silver Fullbuster she thought she was the luckiest girl in the world, that was before she met his son Gray Fullbuster. Her life that should have good if not perfect becomes subject to bordom, jealousy and saddness. Oneshot

If you prefer reading on Fanfiction.net : https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12627853/1/Repression

If you prefer reading this on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13989258

AN: Warning this is a tragedy.

Drinks, dresses, friends and family, as it were proper for an engagement party. Less appropriate was the future bride standing away from everyone instead of entertaining her guest. But then again they weren’t truly hers, this was her future husband home and she didn’t know more than a quarter of those present here. The only thing making them her guest was her gender. She didn’t mean to be rude of course, she just needed to breath, she wasn’t used to those event.

 Indeed, unlike her fiancé, she was the daughter of a lawyer, upper class parties and habits were not something she had fully grasp yet. One day it will all be natural to her, or so she had been told. But in the mean time this formality was merely a reminder of the difference between her and the man she bound to married.

 She was Juvia Locser, only daughter of Alfonso and Marigold Locser, Liverpool lawyer and his secretary. She had been average in school, but always docile and respectful. She was not particularly good at making friends, of all her acquaintance there was only one she would have truly called her friend. She had managed to become a seamstress without showing much of aptitude to it, the creation of the sewing machine had help her case. The only department in which we could have called her above average was beauty. Her skin was pale, her hips were wide, her belly flat, and they was not one imperfection on her face. Many accounted her beauty for the luck she had had in her engagement. They probably weren’t entirely wrong, but they definitely weren’t right.

 He had come in the small shop in which she worked, early in the morning, it was not opened yet, but Juvia had a tendency to be slow in her work, in order to avoid coming home to late, she had been given the right to come early and start working. He had knock on the window looking quite desperate, Juvia had open worriedly, he had explained her that he was suppose to meet a great aunt of his who gave a very importance to looks and that his sleeve had come loose, he didn’t had time to go home and change, he therefore really needed her help. She had agreed to help without hesitation. He had come back latter that day to thank her, she had refuse his money, which led him to come as he needed a way to thank her. After she manage to convince him that his gratitude was more than enough, he still kept coming to visit her, and quickly asked for her hand in marriage.

She had been hesitant to say yes, they were, after all, very different person. Silver Fullbuster, her fiancé, was the owner, through inheritance, of a car companies and two newspapers. The idea that the man she’ll married would be this wealthy was out of a fairy tale, less was the fact that he had already been married and a son, she had been told, about as old as her. He was tall and had a very squared body, his checks were thin and time had dug wrinkle along his face and planted white hairs among the black one that crowned his head. He wasn’t young, beautiful and energetic or able to carry her away by only using his words, like the man she had dreamt of, but long ago she had stopped to believe in fairy tale and he was kind, smart and he loved her, she honestly couldn’t see how, in time, she could not come to love such a good man.

The wedding went smoothly, the words were said, the rings exchanged, and the kiss given, the only fluctuation in her heartbeat came when Juvia realised that Silver was wearing the very jacket she had fixed for him on the day they met. The guest had come to the great house of her husband, which was now hers as well. As she talked with each of them, her though was on her future, more precisely on how great it was going to be. She couldn’t think of any cloud coming toward her sky.

 She busted out of her bubble when Lisanna Strauss came to talk to her. She was wearing her bridesmaid dress, Juvia had chosen one of a very light shade of blue, for it was her favourite colour and only light colour could match the haired of her friend. She came to her smiling, but Juvia could see it was only a half-hearted smile. As soon as the other guest talking to her had found other interest she asked her friend “What’s wrong?”

 The other girl give away all the sine indicating that she didn’t know how to voice her though without sounding impertinent. Which surprise Juvia as this was the first time this look was directed at her. Juvia pressed her to tell her, after all nothing the girl could say could offend her. After a very longue inspiration Lisanna finally said “I’m just a bit sad for you.”

 Juvia was confused “You aren’t happy for me?” she asked incredulously.

“You have always wanted children.” Lisana explained with an extreme sadness.

 Juvia immediately answered her with a sentence that had been stuck in her head since her engagement “My uncle had his first children at fifty seven.”

 Lisanna gave her a polite apology and the party started on again. She received congratulation on congratulation, praise on praise, advise on advice, all in the same merry go round. The stillness was broken when loud chatter erupted from the other room, where she knew her husband to be.

 She excused herself and made her way to the other room, she saw a small crow gather around something she couldn’t make out. She made her way through her guest and found they were all looking at her husband as he was holding tightly another person. She was herself surprise by this behaviour as she had never seen it before. From her place she couldn’t make out who the other person was, but upon hearing her husband say “I though you wouldn’t come” she could guess she wasn’t to blame for not knowing this new guest.

 She, then, heard the other person say, “I know I have the reputation of an ungrateful son but I wouldn’t have miss my father wedding.”, and understood who he was. As they pulled apart she study him. Some could have said he was a younger version of his father but Juvia could see the difference he had inherited from his mother. He had a square jaw like his father but his eyes were much rounder, his mouth was bigger making his smile warmer than his father. He was not as tall as his father but his broad shoulders were the right size for his body. His eyes and hairs worn matching raven colour. We could see an overwhelming energy in his calm steps.

 Silver brought him closer to her. “My dear” he said to her “way I introduce you my son, Gray Fullbuster.”

 The younger boy grabbed her hand and place his lips on it, “it’s a pleasure to met you” he assured her.

 As soon as they were introduce the guests gather around Gray and started plaguing him with questions, and offering Juvia some time to breath, before some of them remember the newly weds. Her husband told her he hoped she and his son would get along, and that as a matter of fact he couldn’t how they wouldn’t.

 Finally dinner took place, as the different dishes were serve, the conversation went on the different subject of politics, history, economy, always in the most proper way. The only thing coming to break each found consensus were the originals remarks enounced by Gray. Most of the guests tried to ignore them, while Silver tried desperately to pacify them. This little dance between everyone and the prodigal son were the most entertaining to watch.

 Gray was a very interesting young man, with lost of interest in art and very little in running a company or entertaining a legacy, he seemed to be his own man. Once in a while during the dinner a question would by asked about his travel, he would answer with passion and great detail. It was as if he painted a frame of each place he had visit and that somehow he brought you into it.

 She quickly found herself asking more and more detail onto all those places he went to, so she could have the feeling of being there. Those escapades were broken by the genuine question Gray would ask her about her life. She answer truthfully by also forgetting the etiquette that told her not to give her opinion too sincerely, it didn’t seemed to bother him, which was unsurprising once he explained that he had similar ideas.

 Juvia found herself thinking that this young man didn’t have much fault, and that his company was of the most enjoyable. It was nice to have someone else in the room who didn’t always agreed with what they should. It was even better to see one who didn’t keep such thought to himself.

 He was definitely an exquisite gentleman in his own extravagant way.

 Marrying him would have been wonderful.

It is with a heavy heart that Juvia woke up after her wedding night. It would seem that the age have affected her husband more than she thought. She had fake the proof of the did with wine, even if Silver hadn’t asked it of her. Her skin was cold as if the warmth of the body holding hers couldn’t reach her. Feeling his breath against her neck she dreaded the moment when it’ll change indicating that he had left the world of dream. To solve this issue she opted for pretending to sleep, only ringing the domestic after he had been in his dressing room for at least five minutes. Being married to wealthy man she was untitled to eat breakfast in her room and she intended to do so. She only faced him after ward when he came in her room to tell her he would be living for work. This immediately became her morning routine.

 Her daily routine would be slightly different. After a long bath, she’d get dress and go spend her morning in the library reading any book she could find, never getting anywhere close the bookshelf intended for romance book. She would only leave if Gray were to come in, not wanting to show her lack of knowledge in front of her stepson. She would eat in the small garden, the domestic informed her every day that Gray was eating in the dinning-room, but upon hearing her love for green they’d indulged her childish whims. She’d spend the afternoon in the garden admiring the different plants and flower. She’d get back in to discus dinner with the cook. She’d then go to her room to think of her eveningwear.

 Her husband would came back after she had change, he would tell her about his day, she’d only half listen without having her mind on anything. Dinner would mostly be a time for Silver and Gray to talk, Juvia only rarely giving her contribution. It was once she was in bed with her husband that she would speak, of all the different banality that were on her mind, which would somehow be suited conversation.

 And so on, days after days.

The first break her routine got was when Lisanna called the house in odder to invite herself for tea. Juvia received her heartily, and was glad to have something to do today.

 The meeting was peaceful and started with an avalanche of question on Juvia’s new life. She answered each of them as accurately and properly as possible. This first part of the conversation was accompanied by an apology for the way Lisanna had spoken on her wedding day, which Juvia appreciated greatly.

 Finally Lisanna came down to the real reason why she had brave their now very different places. She was getting married. Juvia first reaction was to ask why she had never heard of whomever Lisanna was marrying. Turns out she actually did, he was one of her old childhood friend. The name hadn’t ring any bell for he was not among the one Lisanna spoke the most oftenly of.  Nevertheless Juvia congratulated her.

 “I am going to work with him in his shop after we get married” her friend had informed her. Juvia guessed it was a good thing. She couldn’t really know for she didn’t work with her husband, his work didn’t allow it.

 Juvia was also informed that the wedding would be in winter, she promised she’d try to attend.

 Lisanna listed endlessly all the romantic gesture she had been given by her now fiancé, those romantic gesture could easily be label as gestures by someone else.

 “We are almost always with one an other” Juvia hope for her friend that her love would not get tired of this habit, she knew that many, especially among the masculine gender, tended to like having some space.

 “I hate being away from him, it’s like nothing is truly enjoyable without him” Now Juvia felt a bit sad for her friend, for what she was describing sounded more like a short time passion then love.

 “He always know what I want, even when I don’t, I think he knows me better than I know myself” This sounded more like something out of her head than an actual truth, it would hurt her badly when she realise it.

 “To be fully honest he makes me feel like I’m really myself when I am with him.” That poor girl was lock in a fairy tale and coming down from it was going to hurt.

 “I’ve never been this happy in my life.” To bad it’s just an illusion.

 “I think I am going to be happy for a long time.” No you won’t.

Juvia learn to enjoy their diners. She would always be very entertained by the discussion in between Silver and Gray. It seemed like they could talk for hours of any given subject with out ever committing any digression. Her lack of knowledge sometimes left her unable to understand something, first thing in the morning she would try rectify that.

 It was during one of those moments, they were talking about a new literary movement she had never heard of, that Gray mention having met one of the great novelists of this movement.

 Her name was Ul, Silver seemed to have heard of her and was truly eager to her more about this. They had apparently met in Berlin where Gray had been staying with a friend of his. He had founded her fascinating, and had learnt a great deal by spending time with her. She also had daughter around the age of Gray, of whom he enjoyed the company greatly.

 After his long tale of their time together Gray asked his father “We are still writing each other letters and I was wondering, if in my next one I could perhaps invite them to stay over in our home, for a small period of time of course.”

 “I, for once, would love to meet both of them, but the decision belongs to the mistress of the house.”

 Juvia agreed quickly, having guest around the house would definitely make her everyday life less monotone.

 About less then a month later, Ul and her dautgher Ultear arrived to Liverpool. Silver, Juvia and Gray were waiting on the porch to greet them. Juvia was very exited about having guest, especially two of her own gender, at the house, but nevertheless she managed to keep her self in calm figure any women of her rank should. She only allowed herself a smile once her guests had come out of the car they had send for them.

 Ul was a rather tall woman, taller than Juvia at least, and she carried herself straight. She had cut her raven hair in one of those boy cut French girl now wore. Her face was hard but the wrinkle under her eyes showed that she smiled easily. Juvia could guess her smile looked like the one of Ultear, who had no shame in showing it. She looked very alike her mother, excepted for the fact that she was smaller and had hair as long as Juvia.

 They were welcomed warmly by all the family, and they answered with as much kindness, but Juvia noticed there was something odd with the way Ul looked at her. She brushed it of as some fragment of her imagination.

 As they were discussing over a cup of tea, Ul asked her “You are Silver’s wife?”

 “Yes I am” Juvia told her with a smile.

 “Who made you marry him?”

 “I- No one”

 “Truly? I would I thought a girl of your age would prefer a young man.”

 Ultear spoke before her mother could “That prove she’s a smart girl, what kind of girl would want a boy when she can have a man.”

 Ul rolled her eyes as she looked at her daughter.

 That night Juvia had to wait a bit in her bed for her husband to join her. She hadn’t excused herself early, she had listen to the conversation between her family and her guest all night, she didn’t understood all the reference, but still found it very enjoyable. Silver had seemed very happy too.

 When he came to join her he had a smile on his face. Juvia asked him in the most proper way if he had enjoyed his evening. He answered her “Very much, I allowed my self to stay up for a bit with Ul. She seems to never run out of wonderful anecdote and interesting remark. We truly are lucky to have her under our roof.”

 Each night Silver stayed with their guest a little longer with their guest, always telling Juvia afterward of how great their conversation had been. A strange anger find it’s way in Juvia’s heart. She had never felt that way before. Without her knowing this feeling took over her and one night, as her husband was once again about his time with the autor, she told him “If she is as great as you say maybe she’s the one you should be married to.”

 Silver eyes widen slightly, was it because of the arsh tone of his wife or her accusing word, she didn’t know, but as soon as he recovered from it he told “I’m sorry if you are feeling neglected my love, this was never my attention. Ul might be of good company but she will never be to me, anything like what you are.”

 This answer didn’t satisfied her, with more anger she told him, “You spend all your evening with her should I expect you to spend your night in her room too?”

 This time he took offence, “I would never!” he told her “Do you not know me! Never would I even think…” He took a moment to calm himself before saying “My dear, Ul is nothing more then a good friend to me.”

 “Well she isn’t a child like me.”

 “She doesn’t have your kindness or you charm and she never has and never will have your beauty. Trust me, you have nothing to fear from her. You are the only one who will ever matter to me.”

 This seemed to calm her inside storm. With a sigh she apologised for her behaviour. 

It seemed that the calm that had come through her that night in their bedroom was only to stay for one night. At the moment she woke up the wind of anger that had started a storm the day before was blowing again. She tried to contain it, telling herself those ideas were just creation of her imagination. But, no matter with what strength she tried, she could not prevent it from becoming stronger with each kindness, each praise, each laugh, each nod, each smile, each look, her husband gave the other woman.

 To prevent herself from another outburst she chose not to look, to not be present during as many of their encounter between the two of them. This was in fact simply going back to the way her life was prior to the woman arrival. But it would seem that even in this condition a part of her was still wondering, and worst imagining, what could be going on between this woman and her husband.

 Her torment was still as present, if not made stronger, by not knowing.

 Silver noticed her absence during the day, and on there evening talk asked her why he didn’t get to see her. She pretended to some headaches that tired her greatly. This seemed to be easy for him to believe, it even worried him a little and he suggested that should those headaches keep bothering her he’d take her to see a doctor.

 Gray, who didn’t get to see her the same way her husband did, came to find her in the garden the next day. He asked her too about her disappearing tendency. She tried to use the same tactic as on Silver but it did not work on the son. He pointed out that she looked perfectly all right. He asked her if she disliked their guest, she immediately denied it. He keep pressing her to tell him what made her so uneasy that she had to isolate herself, going as far as asking if the problem came from him. She ended up telling him the truth.

 She told him she felt threaten by the other woman. He immediately asked if his father new about this. She told him about her outburst and what he had told her afterward. He couldn’t quite understand why she would feel threaten by someone like Ul.

 She explained him “You have to understand, I am just the daughter of a small lawyer, a seamstress, I know nothing of the world while Silver know so much. Sometime I feel like we live in two different worlds. Ul. Ul she knows so much! When they talk, they’re in the same world, while I am far away in mine. It, It just pains me to see it. And I can’t help but think of how good they would be together. And I’m the only thing standing between them. And what if one day your father sees it, and, and decide to just…” her sobs keep her from finishing what she wanted to say, but it looked like Gray had understood.

 He told her “I do not believe my father would ever do that. As a matter of fact, I know he would never even think of doing so. I have never seen him as happy as he is now with you. Nevertheless, if Ul presence put you in such a state of distress, I’ll ask her to leave.”

 Juvia hadn’t thought of this possibility, for it was the rudest possible gesture, and she told so to Gray. He assured her that he would find a pretext that she didn’t have to worry about anything. She still did, but in front of the god-awful place this situation was putting her in, she accepted his offer. The next day Ul and Ultear made their goodbye to the house.

 With the woman away from the house, Juvia thought she would be ride of the overpowering emotion that had come to her during their stay. And it seemed to indeed be gone. Until she started to pay attention to the time her husband took writing letters.

 He would be in his office several hours doing nothing more then writing and reading letters. Juvia told herself that she simply hadn’t notice before, but a petty voice told her that she hadn’t noticed before because, before, he didn’t take that long.

 This clouded her mind to the point that she asked her husband to let her see his letters. He told that they were boring work related letters, that she would have no interest in, which only made her worried grow.

 This time it’s at the diner table that her outburst came. Over the perfectly cooked meal she spilled all her doubts in the form of accusation. And this time, no matter his tentative to reach her, her husband could not calm her down. She stormed out of the dinning room before the dessert. It’s while she was alone in her room that her senses came back to her. The next morning she apologise to her husband for her meanness and to Gray for ruining his evening.

 Days after days her husband reminded her that she was the only one for him. Days after Days she told herself it was all in her head. Days after days Gray explained that his father was fully devoted to her. Days after days her suspicions grew stronger.

 The outbursts had disappeared replaced by little sharp remarks during conversation. She always apologised afterward but it did not minimise their effect.

 Juvia could tell she was doing worst and worst but she didn’t what she could do about it. It’s Gray who proposed her what could be a solution.

 One day it came to her, telling her first about how worried he was for her, then about a friend of his who had face a problem similar to her and that had solved it by going to see a psychologist. He did not need to end his tale for her to understand what he was suggesting. Juvia had to admit she didn’t truly want to go see that man, but Gray seemed so sure it could help her that she accepted.

 When Juvia came in the small office of the doctor Rocko. There was a very comfortable chair for her to sit on, while the doctor was behind his office. She kept scrubbing her tums against the arms of the chair. The man on the other side of the desk was smiling kindly at her.

 “I don’t know what…” she finally let out of her mouth.

 “All you have to do is talk to me.” The doctor instructed.

 This didn’t help Juvia at all “What should I talk about?” she asked

 “Whatever’s on your mind.”

 She did so. “I don’t really want to be here.” The doctor didn’t seem surprise to hear this. “My step-son advised me to do so but…”

 “You have a step-son?”

 “Yes… His name is Gray, his about my age…”

 “Ah”

 Juvia frowned “There’s nothing wrong with marrying someone older then you.”

 “I didn’t say they were.” The doctor paused as leaned back on his chair, “Tell me about your marriage.”

 “Hum… Well the ceremony was held several months ago… My husband is a good man. I’m lucky to have him… His son is also very nice…”

 “Considering your reaction from earlier I’m guessing some people made you remark about the aged gape between you and your husband.”

 “Yes”

 “Would you mind telling me about those?”

 “The first one came from my best friend, on the day of my wedding.”

 “This must have seemed quiet offensive.”

 “It was. She… She insinuated I wouldn’t ever have children.”

 “You really want children.”

 “Of course I do.”

 “Are you getting close of having any?”

 “Not currently.”

 “The fear of never having children is really common thing…”

 “That’s not why I’m here.” The doctor voicelessly indicated her that he like here to elaborate “I…There was a woman who came to our house as a guest, a woman of the age of my husband, a very cultivated woman. And ever since she came I fear that my husband might have an affair with her. He assured he only felt friendship toward her but I’m still… worried. I get very … violent reaction from the smallest things that might have to do with her. I… I really fear that my husband might prefer someone his aged. “

 Her husband came with her at Lisanna’s wedding even thought it was a simple ceremony from a simple family. Lisanna had worn a smile the all way through. It had been present as she walked down the aisle. She had offered Juvia a look to which she didn’t know how to respond.

 When Lisanna and her fiancé held each other’s hands, the smile on her face became wider and a light appeared in her eyes that match the one in her fiancé’s. The way they said “I do” could have made one think that they had been holding their breath until that moment. When they kissed each other they also held each other as if they feared the other might disappear. To Juvia they looked more like children playing grown ups then like a couple getting married.

 The ceremony had seemed long to Juvia, far to long. She had thankfully been able to escape early. The sound of clining glasses, dancing foot and Lisanna’s high pitched almost forced laugh, had given her a headaches and a good excuse to leave.

 In the car, on their way back home, her husband had told her, with a tone full of the joy of the evening “Your friends are very lively.”

 “They are” had answered Juvia without much interest.

“I was never really good at school, probably because I spent more time reading novel than actually studying…”

 “What kind of novel did you read?”

 “Oh, mostly romance novel.”

 “Tell me about them.”

 “Well, they were all the same kind of classic story, a lonely girl meets an interesting and intrepid boy, they fall in love but there’s something keeping them from truly being together, they find a way of overcoming it and live happily ever after.” As she described this the memory of her favourite childhood book came back to her. “I remember, there was one I particularly liked, it was about a farmer girl, who was of course beautiful and smart but that no one seemed to truly noticed he. And…, and one day this, this prince comes along, actually he doesn’t come he’s wounded, she founds him wounded in the forest, she helps him, and, and of course they fall in love. But his prince and she’s a farmer, so it can never work between them. But nevertheless her prince always come back to see her, in secret of course. And in the end, I don’t exactly remember how but they found a way to be together and, and… well they live happily ever after.”

 “The poor girl who finds love in a rich man seems similar to your situation.”

 “Yes… but you have to notice in all of those story the two character have the same age, and… I remember one about a king who’s queen had just died and he find love in a queen who like him had lost her king, not princess. So I guess it’s just another reason why I worry my husband might prefer someone younger.“

 “Um-hum”

 Her session with the psychiatrist didn’t do much to calm her jalousie. Her only real improvement was that she didn’t have crisis in front of her family anymore. As a matter of fact she had became very good at hiding from both of them any spike of jealousy she might have. To them she was probably past all that.

 But nevertheless, and even though Ul was not around anymore, the simple mention of her name was enough to bring inside Juvia an incredible anger that she desperately tried to contain. Her wonders of what her husband could be doing alone in his study kept growing bigger and bigger. It took all her strength to not spend her entire day listening at his door. Her doubts and worries sometimes kept her from sleeping at night.

 It was during one of those nights that instead of twisting and turning in her bed as she usually did, she decided to go inside her husband’s study. As silently as she could, she sneaked into the room. There she opened one by one each drawer of the desk until she found the large pill of letters he had written the day before and were to be send in the morning.

 She found a kindle and lights it so she could open them without anyone noticing it in the morning. The first letter was simply business related, and so was the second, and the third, and the fourth. And yet with each of them her persuasion that one was secretly destined to Ul grew bigger.

 When they was only three letters left, the door opened, Juvia got up from her chair in panic. Gray came in, he immediately noticed her standing next to the desk, he’s eyes widen slightly. He was half way through asking her what she was doing here when his eyes fell on the table, where the open letters were shattered. His eyes widen a little more. He didn’t need to say anything for her to know he had understood what she was doing. Juvia planted her gaze on the floor in her embarrassment.

 “None of them are for Ul, right?” he asked nicely. Juvia nodded. “I could have told you that.” He said just as kindly.

 “I can’t help it” was all Juvia found to say.

 She heard him take several step toward her and didn’t move. “While I don’t understand where your” he pause trying to find the right word, “jalousie come from. I can imagined what it feels like.” She allowed herself to look at him “But once again I assure you, my father will always be faithful to you. You have nothing to worry about.”

 “I can’t help it” she said again.

 “I know. But I hope one day it won’t be case anymore. And I’d glad to help you with that.”

 “You think you can?” there was more desperation than hope in her voice as she said that.

 “Yes, I think so. I will help you by reminding you that my father care more about you then anyone else and that you should let yourself be driven by the impulses your jalousie gives you.” As he said this her eyes fell on the table. “I promise”

 “Than I promise you will never found me in your father office at such late hour.”

 When Lisanna came to visit her again, there was like a light coming from her, Juvia had the feeling she had never seen her this happy. Therefore as soon as she was done with the common courtesy, she immediately asked her friend what made her so happy. With the biggest smile she had ever seen her friend told her “ I’ve seen the doctor yesterday, I’m going to have a baby.”

 Juvia congratulated her friend as she was supposed to, but a part of her couldn’t help but wonder weither or not her friend had enough money to raise a child properly. The conversation moved on to the life she now had with her husband. She explained how they were organised in his shop. How her life was at home. How she always asked her sister for advises. She spent a long moment pondering over the fact that she’d have to take care of the child and help her husband in her shop.

 Her tirade was getting long and Juvia ended up cutting her with “You should take a nanny.”

 Lisanna stopped before telling her sadly “You know we can’t afford one.”

 “Oh yes, I had forgotten.”

 “You should try not to forgot those things.”

 “What do you mean?” said Juvia on a warry tone.

 “I’m merely saying you shouldn’t forget where you came from.” Answered Lisanna kindly

 Juvia took this as an offence “I’m sorry?”

 Lisanna sighed “The more I come to see you the less I recognise you. I miss you. Since you got married you’re a different person.”

 “I understand”

 “Really?”

 “I understand that you’re jealous of my new status!”

“Of course not!”

 “Don’t lie to me!”

 “I’m not lying, I just miss you.”

 “You miss me being barely able to afford nice things! And being condemn to do middleclass jobs!”

 “I’m a middleclass, there’s nothing wrong about being middleclass!”

 “Unless you’re jealous of the upper one!”

 Instead of answering Lisanna left.

 “I can not believe she would react that way. We’ve been friends for years she should be happy for me. I would never have showed that kind of jealousy toward her. And I would have been honest about it from the start”

 “This is something important to you, honesty between friends I mean?”

 “Of course it is.”

 “So the behaviour of your friend chocks you.”

 “Yes but I guess it’s normal for her. Pregnant woman have a tendency to odd behaviour I’ve heard.”

 “Your friend is pregnant?”

 “Yes”

 In the month that followed Juvia found herself subject to an incredible clumsiness. She had brock a beautiful necklace by tripping as it was caught on a door handle. She had brock the hill of one of her choose by forcing when she trouble putting it on. She had tired up on of her dress by catching on of her foot in it as she took a step with the other. Her husband had the one who could be fixed fixe, and bought the exact same one when they couldn’t. They were after all originally gifts from him.

 “He’s fixing everything, it’s so kind of him. It makes me feel slightly guilty that I keep thinking his having an affair. But at the same time I can’t help but think that maybe this kindness comes from his own guilt over his affair. What do you think?”

 “Well I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over your case and I have to ask you if you don’t think your obsession over your husband having an affair with someone his age doesn’t come from your own desire to be with someone your age, like your step-son?”

 Juvia stayed immobile and did not answered.

 “Miss Fullbuster?”

 She suddenly became very reactive, she grabbed all her belongings and got out of the office before the doctor could call after her.

 She never went to the doctor again. And her problem kept getting bigger. On one of her sleepless night she gave up and went into her husband office, and looked for where he kept the letter he had received. She found them in a rather large box.

 She opened them all, one by one, in this sea of business issues, news from old ant, and information on his investment, she found nothing that could prove any deception on his part. She explained to herself that her husband was not stupid he would have put the letter in a different place of the others.

 Juvia’s silence had dinner had become a common thing, her husband and Gray simply talked without expecting her to give any input. This is probably why neither of them thought it would be unwise to speak of her husband new business partner in front of her. She immediately noticed that this person was a Miss and not Sir, she stopped eating to listen and neither man noticed. They then mention she had taken the rule of her father company ten years ago at the age of thirty-six and Juvia did the math. Her eyes turned to ice as she looked at her husband but he didn’t noticed, he was far to busy bragging about this woman exploit as businesswoman.

 Frustrated that he didn’t noticed her discomfort Juvia voiced her anger “Then perhaps you should have married her.”

 She watched her husband face changed with the realisation of what he had just unleash. He immediately tried to redeem himself, but it was useless, Juvia’s fury was freed and nothing would stop it. Gray tried to help his father, without success. No matter their explanation, no matter how logical their argument, Juvia’s anger could only rise. All of them were standing up triying to defend their claims. Their battle ended at the same moment as Juvia’s anger reached it’s pick, because once it had a secondary feeling within her took the upper hand and sad tears fell from her eyes. In the room that had been field with shouts a second ago all that could be heard was her sobbing. She excused herself and left.

 Sitting alone on her bed, Juvia’s tears kept falling, and she kept shacking. She didn’t know if she was crying because of the pain the idea of not being good enough for her husband brought in her or if it was simply that she felt guilty over what she had said over the diner. All she knew was that it hurt and showed no signs of stopping.

 She heard a knocking on the door and choose to ignore it, the door opened nonetheless. She looked up to find Gray coming to sit next to her. As he did, she turned her look away and a faint whisper escaped her lips saying, “I’m sorry”.

 “So am I” he said nicely before placing his hand on her shoulder, he brought her close to his chest were she cried some more. He held her until she was done. Telling her that things would get better. A certain feeling of warmth came into her that evening that she could only explain as a normal reaction to the kindness she was given.

 Her clumsiness disappeared just as instantly as it had come.

 Juvia had developed a new habit, in complete opposition with the one she used to have, everyday, while her husband was at work, instead of spending her day alone she would always have her lunch with Gray.

 During those meals she rediscovered the admiration she had felt for him on their first meeting. By listening to him she travelled through all of Europe, she could almost see the fields of Holland, smell the Italian coffee, feel the sun of Portugal, taste the French patisserie, and hear the traditional music of Ireland.

 She also rediscovered parts of herself she seemed to have forgotten lately. They vigorously spoke of the place of woman in society. And discovered the pleasure of speaking freely with someone who seemed to understand her.

 She learnt numerous things from Gray, on art, on the world, and nothing could have matched her happiness when he told her he learnt from her too.

 Her jealousy seemed to have stopped. She didn’t had any crisis anymore. It seemed that all her problem were behind her.

 On one of their lunch, Gray informed her that he had a problem, she immediately told him that she do whatever she could to help. This didn’t seem to help him, quite the opposite in fact, he seemed even more worried.

 “You,… well I sure you remember Ultear.” He stared “I… she and I have been keeping in touch and… well I want to marry her, but I wouldn’t want to make our life more difficult as I remember what was between you and her mother.”

 “You don’t have to worry about anything Gray.”

 Juvia excused herself before going up to her room. There, she took the electric lamp that was plugged to the wall, and placed next to her bath without unplugging it. She let the water feel the bathtub. She slowly took her cloth off, she looked at her pale skin in the mirror before getting inside her bath and stopping the water. She smiled at the warmth that came within her from the water. Then grabbed the lamp and let fall in the water with her.

#fairy tail #fairy tail fanfiction #tragedy #gruvia fanfiction

[zalrb]

TVD 1x04 Review

Hi all! Welcome to the fourth review of TVD season 1. Considering that I haven’t like sat down to watch a full episode of the past seasons of TVD in a few years and my memory might not be the greatest I think I will start with my usual disclaimer: I write my thoughts in real time so if I make a mistake at the beginning of this post, it will be corrected by the end. There will be anti-Damon and anti-Delena sentiments (I’m only mentioning these two because it’s the beginning of the series), and in light of recent events I feel the need to say that there may be some anti-Jenna sentiments too. I will probably bring up other shows and call attention to misogynoir, racism, anti-blackness etc. Ready? Let’s go.

1. I always wonder how these dreams work, like how much detail does Damon have to put into it? He has Elena wearing the necklace, Logan Fell is on the TV, he has the details of her room and her kitchen, like how does he create these dreams to terrorize Stefan with? Or does he go into Stefan’s head and Stefan has all these details already there so then Damon just manipulates his memory?

2. You know, sometimes I watch teen shows I watched when I was younger and I can go, yeah I can see why people went crazy for this guy even though he’s a dick. I don’t get that, I cannot see why with Damon.

3. His hair is back to be thoroughly offensive. When do they fix it for good?

4. Stefan throwing a knife at Damon’s chest is still, like, my favourite Defan moment.

5. Damon is so petty, like all he does is hangout in Stefan’s room and terrorize him!

6. “Believe it or not, Stefan, some girls don’t need my persuasion.” Damon, you compelled Caroline, you compelled Andie, and it took a sire bond for you to actually get Elena. Who are you fooling, fam?

7. Another Stefan shirtless shot! Seriously, they totally exploited his abs in season 1. Lmao.

8. OH MY GOD, STEFAN STOP WITH THE VOICEOVER.

9. Lol Jenna and Jeremy are in the other room and Elena just grabs Stefan and kisses him like ok my room upstairs RIGHT now.

10. And I didn’t realize Stefan’s reaction, he has a grin on his face but he’s lookng around like ... Really? Omg they’re adorable.

11. In every makeout/sex scene SE do there’s always a moment where Stefan or Elena pause to look at each other, even if it’s brief, just to have that eye contact.

12. Nina’s sighing pretty hard.

13. I also like how when Elena is like “Maybe we should press pause” and Stefan agrees, he has to go and sit on the other side of the room, like they cannot be on a bed together because it’ll just get that intense again.

14. Also an anon was talking about how they find it interesting the psychology behind a vampie who is in love with someone but still has the urge to feed on them and I responded that Paul was really interested in that dynamic with SE as well and you really do see it in this scene. They’re getting to a very visceral place with the physical contact so that viscera shifts into his vampirism and hunger so he has to press pause, it just adds to a whole other level of angst.

15. “I would be honoured to accompany you, Miss Gilbert.” 1864 Stefan making a comeback.

16. And Elena is fucking loving it.

17. “No yellow, jaundice go for the blue.” “I don’t like the blue.” “Well, I do.” The problem with Damon is that he doesn’t come across as a vampire, he comes across as an abusive boyfriend. With Stefan, he’s a vampire in the simplest things like the fact that he can become a fucking statue when he’s angry or the fact that he will speak a little old-fashioned and of course the fact that his veins appear when he gets too close to Elena, showing that he hasn’t mastered being in society that well. Damon just has the dialogue and the fog and the crow, he just seems like a guy who has a bunch of tricks and murders people because he feels like it so the Daroline dynamic doesn’t even feel like a predator playing with his prey, like it doesn’t feel non-human and human, he’s just abusive.

18. It’s also really sad watching Caroline look at Damon’s bite marks in the mirror. 

19.  “You can be very sweet when you want to be.” This is legit just an abusive dynamic, I don’t even want to say relationship anymore because Caroline has no free will.

20. “And Damon’s not dangerous, he just has a lot of issues with his brother, like major, deep-rooted drama” listening to Caroline speak is like listening to Delena stans.

21. “This country’s dumbed down in the last hundred years.” Oh yeah because enforcing enslavement was the pinnacle of American genius. Fucking writers.

22. Zach was unnecessary and the actor is AWFUL.

23. “I got your punk.” What does that mean exactly, Jeremy?

24. I like how everyone is blaming Stefan for Katherine when Damon is, like, 23 or 25.

25. Elena being like hmm, how do I know if Stefan is a calculating, manipulative lying and Damon is the victim, maybe Bonnie is right, is ridiculous considering that Damon tried to kiss her last episode and she experienced Damon being manipulative and called him out on it saying that it was his intention to make her feel uncomfortable. Like this is so fucking manufactured.

26. Paul’s arms though. And then Ian walks in topless like ... *rolls eyes* put your shirt on.

27. Damon, you would drive anyone to drink, you’re annoying and homicidal.

28. "If I go online will I find it [the pocketwatch] on ebay? Is that how you pay for your pot?” I know she was making a point but like how expensive does she think weed is?

29. “Yes, being a 150 year old teenager has been the height of my happiness” lol Stefan’s dry wit kills me each time.

30. “I’m not some drunk sorority chick, you can’t roofie me” that is a seriously disgusting line. And people want to argue that Damon isn’t a sexual predator?

31. Ian’s hair is OK again, I guess he, like, brushed it.

32. Tyler legitimately brought Vicki into his house through the back. Like that’s rude.

33. Caroline is rude to Liz for no reason, which is why in the later seasons, when they tried to act like she and Liz always had a wonderful relationship I side-eyed it.

34. Elena reading the registry makes me laugh because I remember the bloopers when Nina couldn’t get one name, like she just couldn’t move past it so Paul and the crew made a joke like, think of it as gonorrhea. And that name isn’t in the final cut.

35. “My therapist says I’m acting out... trying to punish Stefan” are you 16?

36. See Damon telling Elena how he and Stefan died without saying how they died and his clear pain over what they did to him and to Katherine would’ve been a storyline I would like to follow more. If he came back to MF to destroy it because of how much he hated it and he chose Caroline to get back at the Founding families, if he was still devastated by what they did but then throughout the season started realizing that Caroline and Tyler and Jeremy and Elena, essentially the descendants of these families, were actual people and developed from that, I think they could’ve had something interesting. And the show has like remnants of this idea throughout season 1 but it isn’t an actual arc for Damon because his arc is supposed to be Elena and he terrorizes the town because he feels like it, it isn’t a statement so he’s just a dick.

37. “Doesn’t it always come down to the love of a woman?” No. And this is Damon’s entire problem.

38. “That’s what you get when you bring the trash into the party” ... Carol, what? Vicki actually did nothing a “respectable” young woman wouldn’t do. Like it just doesn’t even go.

39. Yeah Bonnie is hardly in this episode. Shunted to the sidelnes for no reason. Caroline and Elena haven’t even gone over to her table to see what’s happening. Caroline I forgive because she’s Damon’s puppet right now but Elena, really?

40. I love the way Elena stares at Stefan when they’re dancing and then she giggles to herself because she’s just so happy being with him.

41. “I hope Damon didn’t drive you too crazy.” “No actually, he was on good behaviour” manipulation, Elena, that is what manipulation looks like.

42. Yes, Stefan, Damon is trying to get Elena to turn against you but you not saying anything about yourself isn’t helping matters either. I mean, it makes sense because you’re still fucked up about what Katherine did to you but you gotta budge a little, honey.

43. Oh hey Elena, talking to Bonnie who you left alone all night to bitch about your boy problems?

44. Carol didn’t even say hi to Bonnie.

45. There’s actually no reason why Damon had to bring Caroline to this.

46. I also don’t care at all about Jenna and Logan.

47. “I’m sorry, I take it all back, you are completely right about Damon”, but like Elena wasn’t even defending Damon in the previous scene, so ... what? 

48. “I’m handling it.” “Handling it? Stefan, you should be having him arrested.” Elena, why don’t YOU have him arrested? You saw the bite marks and you told Damon to stay away from her OR you’ll tell her mother, what is with the show and having characters threaten to do something they should just DO? Like, I would understand it if Elena doesn’t quite know what to do in the situation and thought she did a good job by telling Damon to stay away from Caroline because she IS 16 but her getting mad indignant at Stefan is like ... or you could do what you’re telling him to do?

49. Vicki and Jeremy, is just. Ugh.

50. Seriously this scene between Damon and Caroline is fucking terrified, rewatching it really just emphasizes just how awful the show is for the Daroline friendship.

51. And Damon being broken hearted over Katherine does not excuse this behaviour.

52. I just, how does Elena not remember hugging Caroline who was breaking down in her arms saying “I’m fine, I’m fine” every time she’s with Damon? Like how she does she just block that out?

53. Oh, ending it on the utterly useless council.

I don’t know, man, these early episodes just reaffirm my hatred for Damon.

#stelena #stefan salvatore #elena gilbert #tvd 1x04 #the vampire diaries #tvd review #the vampire diaries 1x04 #tvd family ties #the vampire diaries family ties #paul wesley #nina dobrev #dobsley #tvd #anti-tvd #anti julie plec #anti caroline dries #tvd meta #meta #review #kevin williamson

[decanthrope]

A Cock In Hand (Is Worth Two In The Bush)

Hey, @castielsburger, remember when I spammed you with all those ridiculous, over the top messages and then went “never mind, it’s nothing”? This is why! I really wanted to write this for you, because you’re always making me happy!

On AO3.

Draco is in his mid twenties when the stress gets to him and he goes down faster than a sinking ship.

It’s completely unexpected, but then again, midlife crises do have the tendency to be unpredictable. That’s rather the point.

In a fit of complete and utter madness, he disappears in the early afternoon without warning. This after six months of willful confinement to the Manor.

Narcissa goes into a state of uncontrolled worry that niggles at Lucius so much, he locks himself in his library and refuses to come out until she’s either calmed down or taken a potion to keep her from fidgeting and otherwise making a nuisance of herself.

Many hours later, Draco returns, and Narcissa couldn’t be happier—could certainly be less confused, but is happy nonetheless.

Draco isn’t alone. For whatever reason it seems only he’s privy to, he’s gone and purchased a chicken. Not a peacock, not an albatross, not any of the birds of paradise or even a Lady Amherst pheasant, but a chicken.

Narcissa is perplexed. She tries to understand, she really does, but no matter what angle she tries to look at it from, it just doesn’t make any sense: she can’t understand what about this plain bird has caught her son’s attention.

As time goes on, it becomes obvious that he doesn’t hold any real affection for the thing, and even though it defecates everywhere and runs wild and scratches their floors and creates more messes than Narcissa truly thinks it’s worth, he refuses to get rid of it. Even though he moans and complains and yells at the silly thing, he won’t hear a word of its removal from the Manor, or even its replacement with something more delicate, something more pleasing to the eye, something less… ordinary.

Narcissa starts to think her son has finally lost it over the course of the next few weeks. Draco takes the chicken with him everywhere. Wherever her son is, the chicken follows, scampering behind him like a puppy, screeching and making all kinds of horrid noises, and, even worse, leaving all kinds of horrid fluids on her nice, pristine floors.

She asks Lucius about his opinion on Draco and his rooster friend one night while they’re getting ready for bed. Lucius gives her a pained look as he slips under the covers.

“Narcissa, it’s nothing to worry about,” he tells her long-sufferingly. “The men in the Malfoy line have always had a special connection with birds. Draco is… respecting his familial heritage.”

Narcissa thinks even he sounds doubtful as he says it.

“Yes, but dear, I don’t think this is quite the same thing as that,” she insists, fussing with the blankets until Lucius shoots her an irritated—but fond—look and covers her hands with his own.

“This is a phase,” he stresses. “He’s experimenting. I’m sure he’ll grow out of it soon enough.”

Narcissa bites her tongue against telling him that he’s a hypocrite and that his thing with peacocks wasn’t just a phase. She doesn’t press the matter after that, and Lucius, grateful of its dropping, rolls over and goes to sleep. Still, she worries. What if Draco really has cracked? His behaviour is worrying. What he has with that chicken isn’t normal. She has her doubts despite Lucius’s words.

What puts pain to it is the fact that Draco seems to have formed some kind of bond with his newest companion that seems to transcend what a relationship between owner and pet ought to be. Several times, she’s caught him alone with the bird, talking to it as if it were another human, even a friend.

It wouldn’t be so bad, really, Narcissa thinks, if it weren’t so terribly unhealthy. She lingers outside the door of the library in the east wing one morning, peering anxiously through the crack in the doors and watches as Draco, once again, is ensconced in a one-sided conversation with the bird.

“You’re a horrid, spiteful little thing. Do you know what you’ve done? Well? Do you?” he peers very seriously at the animal who’s resting noncommittally on the arm of Narcissa’s favourite Victorian carved rosewood arm chair. It has boulle brass and tortoiseshell inlay, is one-of-a-kind, over 100 years old, and costs more than a small fortune alone. Her anxiety ratchets up several notches to see the bird on it, to think about all the damage it might be doing.

From within, Draco blows out an exasperated breath and turns away.

“Of course you bloody well don’t,” he criticizes. “You’re a pea-brained excuse of a bird. You ought to be ashamed. What do you have to say for yourself? Well?”

Draco honestly seems to expect an answer from the thing, and Narcissa curls a hand up against her chest to stop herself from brushing through the doors, pulling him away from the chicken, and gently insisting he see a mind healer.

“That’s what I thought,” Draco’s speaking again, a smug look on his face as he turns away and stoops—no, kneels down on the floor to start cleaning up the corpse of a book that looks to have been shredded, apparently at the bird’s—no, monster’s—talons or beak.

She hears him murmur “bloody Potter” and has to wonder if this is a sign, the final straw that’s broken the camel’s back, and if she shouldn’t have insisted he seek help before it had all spiralled out of her control.

Before she can do anything, however, the rooster crows loudly and leaps off the chair and onto Draco’s back, climbing him like a tree until it’s perched on his shoulder and pecking at his neck. Narcissa has half a second to think he’s being savaged by the animal before Draco’s hunching his shoulders up to protect his neck and batting the thing off himself, scowling.

“Don’t try to be cute, Potter. I’m angry with you.”

The chicken skitters around, walks back and forth, heckling as it goes. It keeps its beady, crazed-looking eyes on him the whole time, wattle swaying back and forth under its beak. Draco seems to ignore it, and when he’s done picking up the remnants of the book, returns to his chair.

Narcissa is startled out of her vigilance as Lucius comes up behind her, cocking an eyebrow at her. He opens his mouth to speak, and frantically, she slaps her hand over his mouth, hissing at him to be quiet and motioning for him to look through the door in the same gesture. Lucius looks disgruntled, but does so. She wrings her hands while he looks, and when he steps back, peers anxiously into his face.

“It’s unusual,” he admits at last, and Narcissa trembles.

Unusual, she wants to shriek at him. This is beyond unusual! She’s spent the last two months watching her son go completely mad and all Lucius can say is “it’s unusual”?! Narcissa is so tightly strung, she feels like she could snap.

“What do you want me to do about it?” he asks to forestall her actually doing such a thing.

“Talk to him!” she explodes in a whispered shout. Goodness knows she’s tried, and it’s gotten them exactly nowhere.

Lucius looks pained again, but says he will. She stares at him until he blanches, asks “right now?” and is cowed into doing just that under Narcissa’s fierce stare.

The doors are the heavy kind that close slowly due to their weight, so by the time she takes up her position again, spying into the room, she’s missed the beginning of the conversation.

“Your mother is… concerned,” Lucius is saying, and Narcissa curses him under her breath for betraying her like this.

“Why?” Draco asks slowly, like he’s struggling to comprehend why she might have reservations about his befriending a chicken.

Lucius looks uncomfortable at the question.

“She believes your…” he struggles to find the word he wants, and eventually settles on “association with your cock is verging on an unhealthy dependence.”

Narcissa buries her head in her hands and stifles the groan that tries to escape her. It’s a wonder Lucius was as politically popular as he was in their youth, she thinks. This conversation surely puts him as the least diplomatic person she knows, and considering she knows Pansy Parkinson, that’s a feat. She’s going to conjure worms on his side of the bed tonight—she swears it.

When she looks back up, Draco is about as uncomfortable as she would expect.

“You mean Potter here?” he asks, gesturing to the rooster that’s sitting on his feet.

Lucius’s lip curls, though whether it’s at the name or the animal she can’t tell. She sees the moment he decides to give up on this approach and switches tack.

“Your mother thinks—”

Narcissa shoots a discreet stinging hex at her husband through the doors, grateful that he’s standing sidelong to it, and feels a vicious surge of satisfaction as he twitches and makes a sour face.

“Your mother and I think,” he corrects, stressing his own involvement and somewhat ameliorating her mood. “it might be a good idea to take a break from… Potter.”

Draco’s eyes widen in shock and then narrow suspiciously.

“You’re trying to take Potter away from me,” he realizes. “I won’t have it. I won’t let you. Potter is mine. I won’t give him up.”

Lucius backpedals immediately.

“No, no,” he placates, raising his hands in a show of good faith. “Nobody’s going to touch your cock. We just think you need some space from him. At least for a little while. We’re concerned for you, Draco.”

Narcissa is going to have words with Lucius about his choice in locution and appropriateness. If the look on Draco’s face is any indication, he’s similarly horrified by his father’s inability to call Potter anything else than a cock, even if, Narcissa unwillingly admits, that’s precisely what he is, or has been to Draco since their inception as acquaintances.

Draco gets that look he has when he’s feeling particularly mulish, and Narcissa resigns herself to an uphill battle.

“I’m not letting you take Potter away. He’s my cock… bird… rooster—whatever!” he splutters in increasing aggravation at Lucius’s expression to hearing this, and carries on: “And I won’t let you remove him from me!”

“We just want what’s best for you!” Lucius erupts at last, and Draco’s face goes blank.

“And you think he isn’t.”

Narcissa feels the chill in her son’s voice most acutely.

“You must understand what this looks like, Draco. You running around with a chicken… it’s not normal. Let me take the bird. We can get you something else if you really insist. One of my peahens has just had a clutch: you can have your pick of the chicks.”

Draco glares at his father angrily and stubbornly sets his jaw.

“I’m not getting rid of Potter,” he says mutinously, and scooping up the chicken, who squawks indignantly at such rough treatment, turns to storm out of the library.

Narcissa makes a sound of surprise and throws herself away from the door, sprinting down the corridor and ducking through the first door that makes itself apparent with terror thrumming in her veins. A moment later, Draco is storming past, muttering irately to his chicken.

Narcissa feels as though they’ve just made the whole situation worse instead of better. She stays hidden until Draco’s footsteps have faded from hearing completely, and then a little longer as she contemplates what to do next.

There really isn’t anything for it she decides—the best thing they can do is watch in silence while Draco coddles and abuses his chicken in turn. He seems to cycle between affection and churlishness over the silly thing.

Over the next few weeks, it feels like the bird is everywhere she looks, and wherever it is, Draco’s not far behind. She’s treated to the sight of him pontificating loudly and at length to the bloody rooster.

She doesn’t think she’ll ever quite get used to the sight of it riding around on top of Draco’s head like a glorified hat that moves and squawks and, apparently, shits on Draco freely. This last part she discovers one day when Draco runs past, screaming bloody murder after the rooster that seems determined to bob and weave its way to safety.

“I’m going to roast you alive!” her son screams as he dashes by. His hair is plastered to the back of his head wetly and there are dark stains down his collar and back. She stifles a gasp where she’s pruning the rose garden, both appalled and macabrely amused in the same turn as more murderous threats of what Draco is going to do to the chicken when he captures it disrupt her peaceful garden.

That night, Draco has a new haircut and they end up having coq au vin for dinner. Potter is suspiciously absent, Draco won’t say a word about him through the meal, and Narcissa doesn’t touch hers for fear that they really are eating her son’s beloved pet.

Two hours after dinner, Draco joins her in the library, a tea towel slung over one shoulder and rooster dangling uselessly by its feet in his grasp.

Over the top of her book, she watches Draco manhandle the bird this way and that as he tries to figure out how to fasten the tea towel into a diaper.

She resigns herself to the fact that her son really is going insane, and that she might also be going around the bend, considering she barely even twitches when Potter escapes Draco’s hold and starts clawing at the bookcase.

“Potter!” Draco berates irately, yanking the chicken back into his lap. “We discussed this! You agreed to behave yourself, so behave!”

The rooster clucks broodingly, looking—dare she say it—resentful, but nonetheless settles in Draco’s lap. Narcissa spends the rest of the night observing them subtly, and though she tries to deny it, there does seem to be something almost otherworldly about the creature.

A chill runs up her spine when she catches Potter staring at her, and she hastily looks away.

There’s something unnatural about that chicken.

Narcissa gives in. Potter is here to stay.

Draco has had a midlife crisis and come out of it less intact than before it came. Lucius is sweeping it all under the rug and pretending all is well and Narcissa… Narcissa vacillates between wanting to laugh and cry hysterically on a daily basis.

The only thing to do is give in, accept the reality, and drown herself in expensive booze.

At the very least, she comforts herself, her family isn’t quite as bad as it could be. Draco certainly could have gone off during his crisis and married Pansy. Thank goodness for small mercies, a rooster is nothing by comparison.

She gets used to Potter with all the alacrity she’s in possession of, and comes to expect the chicken’s presence in her life.

Draco lets the thing sleep in his bed, and if he can submit to the horrors of what that must entail, she can tolerate seeing it every night at the dinner table. If she drinks enough, that is.

Funnily enough, it’s Draco who starts it.

“Don’t you think he’s looking a little peaky?” he asks one afternoon five months in.

Narcissa turns from preparing her roses for winter.

Potter does look a sight: his normally immaculate tail is droopy, his eyes seem to bulge out of his head more than they usually do, and there seems to be a general green sort of tinge to him. There’s a particularly manic look in his eyes, she thinks. All in all, Potter looks diseased.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” she tries to assure him, but the seed has been planted. The damage has been done.

That night, Narcissa doesn’t sleep. She stares at the dark ceiling until the sound of her husband snoring besides her feels grating and insensitive.

“Wake up!” she hisses, and smacks Lucius’s chest until he starts awake, mumbling about goat soup of all things.

“Lucius,” she says. “Do you ever worry about Draco?”

Lucius groans.

“This again? I thought we’d settled it, Narcissa. Our son is insane. End of story.”

Narcissa kicks him under the blanket and he jumps, changes his answer, resigned.

“No. I don’t worry for him. Why?”

She doesn’t answer that.

“What about Potter?”

There’s a silence.

“Potter? Do I worry about Potter?” Lucius laughs until she’s forced to assault him again. “No. Why would I worry about a damned chicken?”

Narcissa holds her breath, counts to three, and then doesn’t answer that, either.

“What do we do when Potter dies?”

She can practically hear Lucius’s eyeroll in the dark.

“Celebrate,” is his immediate, callous response, and Narcissa smacks his shoulder halfheartedly.

“It’s just… Draco is so attached, and you know how he can be. He doesn’t take separation well. What if Potter dies and he’s inconsolable?” she wonders.

“For Merlin’s sake, woman! Draco is twenty-seven years old! He’ll be fine.”

“But what if he’s not?” she presses, twisting the blanket under her hands as she worries. “I worry about him. I just don’t want to see him hurt, Lucius.”

Lucius takes her hand in his and rolls over so they’re pressed together, his cheek on her shoulder.

“Draco will be fine, Narcissa,” he tells her resolutely, gathering her up into his arms. “Potter’s young. He’s not going anywhere for a good long while.”

She wants to believe Lucius, wants to have as much confidence as he does, but it’s hard.

Lucius starts snoring again, right against her ear, and reluctantly, she allows it to lull her to sleep, too.

Potter goes missing 3 weeks later. There’s no sign of him for three long days in which Draco scours the Manor frantically, tearing at his hair and muttering nonsensically. He seems crazed in his worried grief.

She can’t help but think this was forewarned, that there were omens, and, bitterly, that she was right.

Before Draco can submit himself to the tragic end to his new best friend and spiral even farther out of her control, Narcissa rushes out to buy another rooster and releases it on the Manor grounds. She hopes Draco doesn’t notice the difference, though she braces herself for impact all the same.

Narcissa enters her favourite tea room and finds it already occupied.

She’s halfway through an apology and explanation that she didn’t know they were expecting company when she realizes it’s Potter.

Real Potter—not chicken Potter.

To her bemusement, he looks entertained at her stuttered and mangled excuse, and waves her in to sit like she’s the visitor here.

Stunned, and for lack of a better option, she does sit.

It’s clear Potter is in control here, is the one with all the cards in his hands, and for once, Narcissa doesn’t know how to act.

“How was America?” she asks when she’s settled.

Potter smiles deviously, and she’s put off her guard.

“I imagine it’s lovely,” he says, and has the audacity to laugh at her confused expression. “Is that where they’ve said I went? Do you believe everything you read in the Daily Prophet, Mrs. Malfoy? You shouldn’t.”

“If not America, then where?” she asks, and watches Potter smile disconcertingly.

“I wanted to thank you for your hospitality,” he says instead of answering her.

She stares at him blithely, unsure what to make of this man in her house.

Narcissa doesn’t get the chance to say anything in response to that, because Draco’s throwing the doors open, looking completely dishevelled and frantic.

“Have you seen Po—” he starts to ask, and then sights Potter. He sags against the doorway, as though his legs are no longer sufficient to hold him up. Then, he composes himself and stalks into the room so he’s standing in front of their guest.

“You’re back, and the first thing you do is come see my mother?” he asks vexedly. Though his back is to her, Narcissa knows her son—has no trouble picturing the irritated, pouty look he’s no doubt sporting.

“Of course,” Harry says levelly. “To show my appreciation for the hospitality.”

Draco makes an irritated, wounded sound in his throat and advances harshly.

Narcissa prepares to jump into the middle of whatever altercation is sure to arise, but instead of going for Potter’s throat, Draco collapses on him, throwing his arms around Potter’s neck and all but crawling into his lap.

“I should murder you,” she hears him say angrily against Potter’s chest, but he makes no move to get off or do any such thing.

“You’d miss me too much,” Potter says confidently, stroking down his back.

Draco makes a splenetic sound—or maybe it’s affectionate. Narcissa doesn’t have a lot of experience around her son and Potter, and even less when it appears he and Potter are… what? Friends? More?

There’s the crux of the matter: Narcissa has no idea at all what to make of their relationship.

She shifts in her chair and is rewarded with Potter looking over and catching her gaze. He smiles wanly and turns to whisper something to Draco, who tenses, but eventually releases Potter from the death grip and turns to face her.

“Like I said, I wanted to thank you for your geniality. You’ve been very considerate.”

Narcissa doesn’t know what to say, and so, switches her gaze to Draco beseechingly.

Draco mutters under his breath and scowls, but eventually elaborates.

“Potter’s been staying here the last few months.”

Narcissa raises a skeptical brow.

“I think I would have noticed if The Saviour was under my roof,” she says dryly, and Draco scowls again, but Potter steals her attention by fidgeting uncomfortably.

“Well, I wasn’t exactly myself,” he says, avoiding her eyes.

Narcissa blinks slowly.

“This prat got himself cursed,” Draco interjects, snickering. “Soul-bound to a chicken of all things,” he says condescendingly, and Potter immediately starts an argument over Draco’s phrasing.

It becomes apparent that left to their own devices, they’ll keep sniping back and forth forever, so she clears her throat pointedly. They turn back to her, sheepish.

“Then every time you had Potter the chicken with you…”

“It was me,” Potter finishes grimly.

What a turn of events. This is certainly the last thing she expected to have happen, though in the grand scheme of things, it may not be the most unusual thing to have ever happened. Then again… Potter did spend half a year as a chicken.

Narcissa pulls herself together and realizes Draco is peering at her nervously. He tries to hide it, but she’s his mother and sees the anxiety under the surface. Apparently, so does Potter, because he squeezes Draco’s waist comfortingly.

“And how long has all of this been going on?” she gestures to how Draco’s sitting half on Potter and half on the chair, squashed together and not attempting violent acts in her sitting room.

She’s rewarded with Potter’s averted gaze and blush.

“Just a few months before all this—” Draco gestures around the room, “—happened.”

Well, at least she can lay her worries about Draco having fallen in love with a bird to rest.

“I figure if I can put up with him as a foul, brainless, pathetic excuse of a farm animal, I can put up with him as a human. You’re still a cock, though.”

“Cheers,” Potter says blandly, rolling his eyes at Draco’s smirk.

Narcissa doesn’t understand it at all. She can’t see how it works between them, but Draco looks happy, and that’s all she can really ask for, she supposes. It’s such a relief to know her son isn’t mental and doesn’t need to be committed.

“Darling,” she interrupts their bantering. “You couldn’t have told us what was going on?” That Potter was, well, Potter?”

Draco blinks at her blankly.

“I thought it was obvious,” he says, and Narcissa purses her lips. Upon seeing her look, his face smooths over into an expression of hauteur. “You and father were so determined to thinking I was mad, neither of you ever bothered to ask for the explanation.”

Narcissa feels her back straighten at that, but before she can start on him, Potter is throwing his head back and laughing like this is the funniest thing in the world to him.

Draco shares a confused, somewhat put out glance with her, and they both turn to stare at Potter.

“Ah, sorry, sorry,” he chokes out when he sees their scrutiny, wiping tears from his eyes and wheezing. “It’s just… all of those conversations make so much more sense now. Mr. Malfoy—” he gasps out, and then succumbs to laughter again.

Beside him, Draco goes pale and looks queazy as he stares at Potter in horror.

It’s enough to make Narcissa smile faintly, recalling her husband’s dramatics and the ironic facetiousness of the conversation in hindsight.

She supposes this might just be the most ridiculous thing that’s happened to any of them after all, and the stunned look on her son’s face is enough to transform her smile into faint laughter that has Draco whipping his head around to stare at her in betrayal.

He crosses his arms over his chest and says petulantly, “I don’t see that this situation is humorous at all,” which only sets Potter off more fervently.

Draco sulks and Narcissa is amused in spite of herself.

Despite Potter being returned to his rightful body, Narcissa still spots a chicken running around the Manor, Draco hot on its heels in pursuit, screaming bloody murder at it and calling it Potter.

She would be concerned that whatever Potter has gotten mixed up in has somehow come undone again if Potter, fully human, hadn’t shown up and looked on beside her in pained resignation at the scene. Narcissa is somewhat confused as to where the chicken has come from and exactly why it’s around.

“Please tell me we didn’t look that barmy when I was… you know…”

Narcissa smiles peaceably at him, tucks his hand into the crook of her arm and very tellingly doesn’t answer.

Potter groans just as Draco approaches, raving rooster under arm.

“What?” he asks defensively, shielding the chicken from sight with his body when he sees their questioning faces. “I like him.”

Narcissa has nothing to say about that, and it seems neither does Potter, except, miserably: “The press is going to have a field day with this.”

Immediately, Narcissa resolves to keep Lucius as far away from reporters as possible on this matter.

He’s bound to make a mess of it all with his inability to call a rooster anything but a cock—even if that is precisely what Potter is. Linguistically speaking.

#drarry squad #early onset midlife crisis #birds #gratuitous misuse of the word 'cock' #for comedic effect #i have a dumb sense of humour #narcissa-centric #the picture that goes with this is phenomenal #writing #original