Fell In Love With A ghoul
Some people spend their whole lives searching for their soulmate. But as Murderdolls prepare to gatecrash the charts with their cover of âWhite Weddingâ, Joey Jordison and Wednesday 13 explain why theyâre made for one anotherâŠ
Words: Dave Everley Photos: Roxy Erickson
(docs link) (Clown article x x)
Wednesday 13, frontman with the Murderdolls, is an avowed Mötley CrĂŒe fan. He owns all 11 of their albums; he'll even defend their traditionally indefensible later, minor works with all the passion of a man who has divested large chunks of his earnings into the band's output at one time or another. He has, he estimates, read their infamous biography 'The Dirt' eight times.
    Now Mötley CrĂŒe were undoubtedly dunderheaded arse-clowns of the highest order â and you can't help feeling that Wednesday 13, despite his unshakeable affection for the band, knows this. But they were also absolutely fantastic, if only for one particular reason: in the midst of the soulless, self-obsessed circle jerk that was the '80s rock scene, they were utterly, gloriously unique. Yes, they were as dumb as fence posts; yes, their behaviour veered between the mischievous and the truly cretinous; yes, they spawned a whole shower of shit that took years to mop up. But they were out there on their own.
It wouldnât be inaccurate to call Murderdolls a Mötley CrĂŒe for the â90s, if only for the reason that, in the midst of the soulless, self-obsessed circle jerk that is todayâs rock scene, they too are utterly, gloriously unique. Whether youâre of the opinion that theyâre a knowing tribute to the days when bandsâ agendas extended no further than having as much fun as possible as often as possible, or simply the latest in a long line of shit-kicking party bands that began with the New York Dolls, thereâs no debating the fact that theyâre out there on their own as much as Mötley CrĂŒe ever were.
And for that reason alone, the Murderdolls deserve your attention.
On paper, Murderdolls shouldnât really exist. Or at least, they shouldnât exist on the scale that they do. A modern day cock rock outfit put together by the drummer from Slipknot, a band who, love them or loathe them, at least managed to sneak a form of extreme metal to the top of the charts? Riiight.
Except the Murderdolls do exist, and they are successful. Their sole album to date, last yearâs glam-Goth opus âBeyond The Valley Of The Murderdollsâ, has sold 50,000 copies in the UK â half of what Slipknot sell, admittedly, but done with only a fraction of the hype the latter band has been fuelled with over the past few years. Their new single, a snarling version of Billy Idolâs â80s hit âWhite Weddingâ looks set to bust their B-movie indebted noise out to the masses.
In a sparse but stylishly furnished room deep in the warren of corridors that make up the West London headquarters of Sanctuary Management â handlers of Murderdolls, as well as Iron Maiden, Guns NâRoses and dozens of others â Wednesday 13 sinks into an expensive leather sofa and proceeds to empty the contents of his less expensive leather trousers onto the glass-topped table in front of him.
âMan, too many pounds in my pocket,â he says good-naturedly, his attempt at an English accent as successful as that of most visiting American musicians (that is, not at all).
Two days ago, Murderdolls played the main stage of the Download festival. They hung around the site for another 24 hours, soaking up the atmosphere and generally drinking themselves senseless. Wednesday started âpartyingâ at three oâclock yesterday afternoon. He didnât stop until the small hours of the morning. He woke up at eight oâclock. Itâs now two in the afternoon. Thereâs not even a whiff of a hangover. Bastard.
âI donât get them,â is his cheery response. âNever have.â
The Wednesday 13 sitting here, laid-back and grinning, couldnât be further removed from the sneering, spiky, B-movie anti-hero that appears on Murderdolls records. That Wednesday 13 is a sneering, spiky B-movie anti-hero with arsenic and embalming fluid running through his veins. This Wednesday 13 is Joseph Poole, a 26-year-old Mid-Westerner who still lives in the same âtiny as fuckâ North Carolina town where heâs spent most of his life and who hadnât so much as set foot on an aeroplane until Joey Jordison paid for him to fly to Des Moines to join the Murderdolls.
He looks nothing like youâd imagine him to. Heâs fleshier for a start â not fat in the slightest, but not the sunken-faced cadaver that leers out from photos. He looks younger too, though that could well be on account of the fact that heâs not made up to resemble death warmed over. Only the array of tattoos that adorn his arms â âhorror movie shitâ like Bela Ludosi, Linda Blair, the Bride Of Frankenstein, Herman and Lily Munster, âHellraiserâ â equate the man sipping Diet Coke and beaming effusively with the dreadlocked ghoul who fronts the Murderdolls.
Actually, Wednesday 13 isnât really anything like youâd expect him to be, full-stop. Back home in Landis, he lives in a suburban home with his longtime girlfriend and his five-year-old daughter, Zoe (âWeâre like âThe Addams Familyâ,â he smirks). He admits that heâs shy, that âwhen I talk to people, I donât really look them in the eyeâ (this is true). Heâs not embarrassed to admit that his relationship with his parents is âawesome â my parents were always super-coolâ.
What was your childhood like?
âDude, I lived in a trailer until I was 13 years old. I didnât even have my own room until I was 10 or 11.â
And how were you supporting your family before that call came from Joey?
âDelivering magazines. I had to drive an hour to my job, so Iâd get up at 4:30 in the morning, leave at five and be there at six. I drove a big delivery truck. I had to go to grocery stores and put âNational Enquirerâ and âTV Guideâ and all that shit in there. That sucked.â
Ever think of jacking it in and moving to New York or LA to get closer to the action?
âI always thought itâd be cool to live in New York, but I never had the money, and I never had a band that was willing to pack up and move. I really lucked out when I got a call from Joey. The last fucking dude on earth I thought would call me would be the drummer from Slipknot.â
Before Joey Jordison entered his life, Wednesday 13 fronted the Frankenstein Drag Queens From Planet 13. Formed when he was 19 years old, the Drag Queens combined the twin influences of Alice Cooper and Ed Wood. Between 1996 and 2001, they released four albums of schlocky, snotty punk rock (several songs from these records would be reworked and re-recorded for âBeyond The Valley Of The Murderdollsâ). Their schtik â wigs, dresses and zombie make-up â was as becoming as it was dumb. Still, in North Carolina â a pigâs squeal away from Bible Belt country â thatâs one hell of a statement to make.
âWhen we started out, it was complete war,â is his memory of the Drag Queensâ early days. âWe didnât want to be friends with anybody. Every show was a fucking battle. Iâd just say shit to the audience to get a rise â if they were drinking beer, Iâd shout, âBeer is for fags!â. Then theyâd start throwing shit at us, and Iâd take my guitar off and jump into the crowd.â
Did it ever get physical?
âAll the time. At one gig, a guy in the audience threw a beer at me. I dived in the audience and tackled him, and started beating the shit out of him. I was wearing a pink dress and platforms at the time. This was in a new town and there were 100 or so people there. I thought theyâd beat the shit out of me, but they ended up cheering me on.â
Remarkably, Wednesday managed to survive those early shows relatively unscathed. Even more remarkably, local club owners seemed to like the bandâs mixture of outrage and antagonism. The buzz around the Drag Queens began to spread across the state.
âEverybody in town hated us, because we actually got gigs. The club owners kinda dug us. They were like, âWeâre sick of all that other shit â this is fucking entertaining, letâs book themâ. All the other bands hated us for that â âTheyâre fags, theyâre wearing dresses, they donât know how to play musicâ.â
What did your parents think of what you were doing?
âMy mom always sewed my clothes for me. She sewed all my dresses up.â
And your dad?
âI dunno. Iâm sure any man doesnât want to walk around a corner and see his son standing there going, âHey Dad, I got this new dress. Like it?â. But now I think heâs proud â heâs seen that Iâve stuck to my guns with it all.â
What was the best thing about being in the Frankenstein Drag Queens?
âThe very beginning was awesome because it was so fresh â I was working in a furniture store, making five bucks an hour, so I took out a loan to pay for the recording of the first record. The record came out, and we felt like we were above everybody else. Then two months later, the drummer quit. But by the end, nobody gave a shit â where I lived, it had really died. Thatâs why when Joey called I thought, âFuck it, Iâm going to do this Murderdolls thingâ.â
Thereâs a track on the âWhite Weddingâ single called âI Take Drugsâ. In reality, Wednesday 13âs recreational pursuits extend no further than an impressive capacity for alcohol.
âIâve never done drugs in my life,â he says with a shrug that says âWhy should I have done?â. âI guess Iâm chickenshit. Iâve taken aspirin, but thatâs all. Iâve never taken coke or E. Iâve probably smoked six cigarettes in my whole life. I donât need it.â
Itâs a strange admission from a man who shamelessly admits to a lifelong obsession with the most debauched of genres, cock rock. In fact, Wednesday 13 is so obsessed with cock rock that heâs possibly the only person on the planet right now who could not only namecheck long-forgotten Welsh glam tarts Tigertailz, but also take the time to describe their logo (he does both today). He might not be Mötley CrĂŒe material, but he might just have sneaked into fell Sunset Strip darlings Faster Pussycat.
Have you ever dated a stripper, Wednesday?
âYeah, and it was one of the worst things Iâve ever done too. She tried to kill herself in front of me. I broke up with her, so she ran into my kitchen, pulled out a butcherâs knife and cut her arm open in front of me. I grabbed the knife and grabbed her arm â my fingers went into the cut, and I actually touched her bone. I threw her into the car and drove her to hospital. When we got there, there happened to be a cop in the waiting room. There was some very quick explaining done.â
Ever filmed yourself having sex?
âNever. But mirrors are cool.â
Ever been arrested?
âNo. And I donât want to. Iâm not the kind of guy who walked around going, âFuck the policeâ. Iâm totally pro-cop. Iâm so pro-cop, itâs actually ridiculous.â
Thatâs not a very rock ânâ roll thing to say.
âFuck that. I think that being a cop is one of the bravest jobs ever. I couldnât imagine pulling over some car at three oâclock in the morning, knocking on the window, not knowing whoâs in there â youâre fucking with death. Iâd never have the balls to do that job. Iâm pro-cop all the way. And I donât care what anyone says.â
What do your neighbours in North Carolina think of you?
âWell, the guy on the left is a priest. Heâs a nice guy. He helped me take my garbage out the other day, then tried to persuade me to come to church. I had to tell him no, in the politest possible way. The guy on the other side, I just know to say hi to.â
Whatâs it like being a father?
âIt changes you. I never planned to have a kid that young, but I would never take it back. My kid is my life. Iâd do anything to protect her. I never forget who I am and that Iâve got responsibilities back home. When you go on the road, you turn into a monster, then you come back home and youâre back to normal, Mr Nice Guy.â
What does your girlfriend think of what you do?
âSheâs known me since I was 15. Sheâs got bright red hair and more tattoos than I do. She loves it. But when I get home itâs different. Iâm just the family guy.â
Unlike Wednesday 13, Nathan Jonas Jordison â Joey to the rest of the world â is everything you expect him to be. Thanks to the phenomenal rise of Slipknot, and the volumes of press that have been written in its wake, itâs difficult to shake the feeling that you already know him inside out.
You donât so much interview Joey Jordison as try to keep up with him.Sitting in the same position on the same sofa that was, until 20 minutes ago, occupied by Wednesday 13, the drummer and guitarist (he played both on âBeyond The Valley Of The Murderdollsâ) will spend the next half hour machine-gunning out answers to a barrage of questions as quickly as they come in. Heâs loud, assured, articulate and passionate. In fact, the only thing thatâs surprising is that he still lives with his mother, in the same house in Iowa that heâs been in since he was two years old.
âItâs a real humble place out in the country,â he says. âI like the quiet. I like getting away from the busy streets and the noise and the chaos. Itâs nice to go home to some peace and quiet, cos thereâs none of that on the road.â
As we speak, Jordison has at least three projects on the go (thereâs Slipknot and Murderdolls, plus an unnamed extreme metal project heâs working on with Necrophagia frontman Killjoy). His explanation is that he gets bored âvery fucking easilyâ. Back home, he has three guitars placed strategically around the house (âone in my room, one in the bathroom and one downstairsâ). Ask him what his greatest obsession is, and he replies, âmusicâ. Ask him how he switches off from music, and he looks puzzled.
âWhat do you mean?â
Do you ever stop thinking about music?
âNo. Itâs the only thing I know how to do well. I can spin upside down on a drum riser in front of 20,000 people with Slipknot, but I canât go to the mailbox and figure out my mail. I have no sense of normal reality at all. Today I went out shopping. I walked to the fucking store, then I couldnât figure how to get back. I have to be pointed in the right direction. Thatâs why I have to have an assistant with me all the time.â
As much as the Murderdolls are an equal partnership â and both Joey Jordison and Wednesday 13 are adamant that it is â thereâs no doubt that itâs Jordison who provided the initial impetus. Heâs the one who took the raw materials â specifically The Rejects, the glam-punk band he played guitar with intermittently during the â90s â and shaped it into something new. Heâs the one who marshalled the personnel, calling Wednesday out of the blue and flying him to Des Moines to see if his dream could work. Heâs also the one who, by dint of his status as a member of one of the biggest metal bands on the planet, gave the Murderdolls an instant profile.
Are you a control freak, Joey?
âYeah. Well, maybe not a control freak, but I definitely like to have my opinions. People respect me because I have strong opinions. But itâs not about ego â itâs about the end result. Thatâs all I'm concerned with.â
Are you friends with the people in your bands?
âEvery one of them. The Slipknot dudes are like my brothers. Weâve been through everything together â we started with jack shit and we became one of the biggest metal bands around. With this band, I donât know everybody like I know the guys in Slipknot, but I love them all to fucking pieces.â
Does it bother you that the Murderdolls are still seen by some as âJoey from Slipknotâs bandâ?
âI donât think people see it that way anymore. When we first toured, all youâd see is Slipknot shirts. You donât see that now. Now itâs kids all in red and black. Murderdolls is a fun band.â
What about a party band? As in a band who like to party?
âOh yeah.â
How much alcohol do you get through a week?
âWednesday got through a bottle-and-a-half of JĂ€germeister last night.â
What about the other trappings of rock ânâ roll? The sex, the drugsâŠ
âCertain guys in the band like the groupie thing. I donât necessarily. Wednesday certainly doesnât.â
Why donât you like it?
âIâve kind of gone through it already. Itâs not even really that good. It doesnât⊠(pause) I mean, Iâm into making girls do weird shit.â
Such as?
âIf a girlâs got a cool trick, she can come on the bus for entertainment purposes rather than sexual purposes.â
Give me an example of the sort of entertainment youâre talking about here.
âA girl came on the bus once and fucking smoked a cigarette through her pussy, then blew it out of her mouth. I was, like, âI wanna see thatâ.â
Youâre friends with Marilyn Manson. What does a night out with the two of you involve?
âActually itâs not as crazy as you might imagine. We might be round his house, watching TV, having a couple of drinks, talking about music. Itâs not like you think â chicks and drugs and shit.â
The most common misconception about the Murderdolls, usually held by people who either donât like the Murderdolls or have never heard them, is that theyâre stupid. Murderdolls arenât stupid. Theyâre stoopid, like Kiss were stoopid, like Mötley CrĂŒe were stoopid. Yes, that might occasionally involve what Wednesday 13 calls âour idiot tendenciesâ, whether that means getting cross-eyed drunk on red wine and falling asleep in the lavatory of an airplane (as Wednesday recently did on a flight back from Japan) or starting a bar brawl in Germany (as Joey did when the band were last in Europe).
But ultimately, the Murderdolls are a rock ânâ roll band, and thatâs precisely what rock ânâ roll bands are supposed to do. And now, more than ever before, we need rock ânâ roll bands who are willing to do rock ânâ roll things.
And that, once again, is why the Murderdolls deserve your attention.
Murderdolls are currently touring the UK with Stone Sour. Check Out There for details. Their new single, âWhite Weddingâ, is released on July 14 via Roadrunner.
Gig Of The Week
Murderdolls/Stone Sour
Dates: Birmingham Academy July 9, Glasgow Barrowland 10, Manchester Apollo 11, London Brixton Academy 12.
Admission: ÂŁ16, London ÂŁ18.
Support: Elviss.
Some and see us becauseâŠ
Corey Taylor (vocals, Stone Sour): âWhere else can you see five idiots kicking ass and getting naked? Itâs going to be great playing with the Murderdolls, theyâre a great live band. We canât wait to get back because Donington was awesome. I got some comments about looking like Joe Elliot backstage, and it was weird playing with Metallica in the background. But that was crazy shit, and I got very drunk.â
Wednesday 13 (vocals, Murderdolls): âYou will see a rock show, not a nu-metal show with baggy pants, and you will see a group of pretty guys â us. Itâll be cool to play with Stone Sour. I sat down with Corey for the first time at Donington and we talked about movies and shit.â
Look out forâŠ
Corey: âA couple of songs that arenât on the album, and Jim doing his weird goose-step walk. Iâll say no more about that.â
Wednesday: âToothpaste and toothbrushes. Fire and blood. Thatâs all just part of our show.â
Donât go to the toilet whenâŠ
Corey: âWeâre playing. Hold your fucking piss. If you go while weâre onstage, Iâll fucking kill you.â
Wednesday: âWeâre playing. You could miss anything. Thereâs no telling what weâll do. You could miss my big, giant gun. Which, incidentally, I donât think weâll have any trouble getting through customs. I know people.â
If you see me in the bar afterwardsâŠ
Corey: âBuy me a Jack and Coke. Everyone knows that. We love hanging out and goofing off, when weâre not getting drunk and stripping.â
Wednesday: âBuy me a shot of JĂ€germeister. Absolutely definitely come and say hello. I always hang out with the kids.â
Brett Callwood
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