#Take Episode 17 Where He Was Barely Around

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

[CN] Victor’s Enthrallment Date (Eng Translation)

⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 着迷之约, that is yet to be released on the global server! ♡

[Additional warning]: y'know the entire date is not spice-themed, but the steamy part is borderline explicit and highly not recommended if you don’t qualify for the 17+ age rating (CN server). so, the call is yours~ :>

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【Subbed Video】    

[Heads-up]: Read the transcript for reading, of course! But for the life of me, PLEASE DO WATCH THE VIDEO!! YOU DO NOT WANNA MISS WU LEI’S GODLY VOICE ACTING AKSJSJSDGFG!! (also, again excuse my real-time reactions 🤪)

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【Transcript Version】

【Chapter 1】

MC: AHHHHH, it’s collapsing, it’s collapsing!

Before my eyes is a landslide. I find myself teetering on the edge of a cliff and can only exert all my strength to flail my hands, seeking something to “hold onto.”

Just as I’m about to reach for the vine dangling at the cliff's edge, the form of a mountain beneath my feet unexpectedly crumbles. The swaying vine slips through my fingers in an instant…

MC: HELP ME!!

System Voice: “Attempt to advance failed. Game over.”

MC: Aw…

A red prompt appears before my eyes as the moving seat beneath me slowly returns to its original position. The game sequence I just experienced vividly replays in my mind.

In order to design a puzzle-themed variety show, I’ve dragged Victor to the amusement park to find inspiration together.

After checking in at several attractions in a row, I noticed a VR game experience not far away while he went to buy drinks. Intrigued, I decided to give it a try.

Much to my surprise, the game turned out to be extremely thrilling. Combined with the hyper-realistic graphics and the seamless integration of the seat’s motion, I had completely forgotten that I was playing a game…

Before I can snap back to my senses, my head suddenly feels a sensation of weightlessness, and in an instant, the lively and joyful atmosphere of the amusement park returns to my vision.

Victor looks at me with a complex expression while holding the VR goggles. Behind him, a crowd of children has gathered, their gazes fixed upon me as well.

MC: Huh? What’s going on?

Victor: Even from a distance, I could hear a certain someone screaming wildly. You scared the kids.

Victor: In the time it took for me to buy the drinks, where did you venture off to?

MC: Don’t even ask. The sequence of events unfolded so rapidly that there wasn’t even a moment to pause...

Unable to contain my eagerness, I leap off the seat and hug his arm, launching into an episode of “complaint.”

Victor silently listens for a while and arches an eyebrow.

Victor: Was it that brilliant?

Victor: But what I saw just now was a certain dummy baring her fangs and brandishing her claws on the chair.

MC: …

Only when I visualize the scene from the perspective of the onlookers do I realize why I had been mobbed, and I feel embarrassed with a sense of belated awareness. 

Victor hands me my drink and pinches my flushed face, an amused smile cresting on his own.

Victor: Only a dummy can be so engrossed when playing games.

Victor: Why not just close your eyes if you were so scared?

MC: But then you’d lose the purpose of playing VR games!

MC: Playing games is about confronting your fears head-on!

Victor: If that’s how it is, why don’t you let go and stop clinging onto someone like this?

Reluctantly, I slightly loosen my grip around his arm and lift my head to look around. My eyes land on an area we haven’t explored yet.

MC: Victor, let’s go and take a look over there later!

Victor: You’re up for playing more?

MC: Absolutely! With the infusion of your love-filled drink, I’m now fully revived!

I beam at him, but Victor doesn’t seem to be moved by my “sugar-coated bullets.”

Victor: We’ve been playing all day, but did it actually help with your show?

MC: Hmm… it’s still too early to ask that question!

MC: Inspiration always needs some time to manifest. Let’s focus on experiencing more things for now.

Victor: I see that you’re just using a pretext to play and satisfy your personal desires.

MC: It’s not purely about satisfying my “personal desires.” I mean, I brought CEO Victor along to play together, didn’t I?

Victor: Submit the first draft of the proposal to me next week, and let me assess the outcomes of your creative process.

MC: But…

Victor: If not, I won’t accompany you on your next trip to collect materials.

Despite saying so, Victor’s footsteps don’t pause, and he is already holding my hand to walk toward the game attractions.

MC: I’ll definitely hand it in next week!

Even though time is tight, considering the relatively higher price at stake here, I still clench my fists to express my resolve to him.

—

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【Chapter 2】

In the blink of an eye, the agreed-upon day has arrived. I rap on the door of Victor’s office, carrying the first draft of the puzzle-themed variety show.

He takes the documents from me. But instead of immediately diving into reading them, he lifts his gaze and studies me intently for a moment.

Victor: The dark circles under your eyes are nearly matching those of a panda, and your face is also drooping.

Victor: What? All the playing over the weekend was of no good?

MC: There’s definitely some value in gathering inspiration, but I can’t help but feel that there’s still something missing…

MC: Maybe CEO Victor can help me by reviewing and providing suggestions?

Victor skims through it briefly and suddenly breaks into a smile.

Victor: It surpasses my expectations, to some extent.

Victor: “Hiding key information within the visuals of a VR game” and “using secret cues during an indoor roller coaster journey” - it seems like you’ve still come up with some useful ideas from it.

MC: I’m just wondering whether these little tricks can be employed repeatedly.

MC: After all, it’s a puzzle game. I want each guest to have a sense of participation and enable them to play a role.

Taking a brief pause, Victor closes my documents.

Victor: I remember you saying before that this is a sort of simple variety show, and you just need to follow the script for arrangement.

Victor: Are you reconsidering your decision now?

MC: Hehe, I’ve seen how others have been able to build a brand with their variety shows, so I wanted to experiment with it too.

MC: I want to create the kind of game that is so addictive that people find themselves unable to break away, ensuring a permanently lasting impact!

–

[Tidbits]: The phrase MC uses here is “欲罢不能” (yù bà bù néng). It conveys the idea of being addicted to something, a sense of strong desire or compelling fascination; you’re so deeply engrossed or captivated by something (/or rather someone) that you find yourself unable to break away. Remember this phrase because it is the key theme of this date and mentioned several times + one of the core themes for Victor x MC~ ❣️

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Victor: How would you define something as “addictive to the point of being unable to break away from”?

MC: It should be something fascinating, challenging, and you won’t get tired of it no matter how many times you’ve turned it over.

MC: Just like… the attitude you have toward your work and cooking!

A smile forms on my face as I lift my head, and sure enough, I meet his speechless expression.

Victor: Don’t you already have a clear concept? Just benchmark it against something you find “addictive to the point of being unable to break away from.”

MC: Something that I find…

I cock my head and ruminate for a while.

I like plenty of things, but there are also quite a few that instantly fade away after a “three-minute passion.”

But when the standard is set for something “addictive to the point of being unable to break away from,” most things would probably not make the cut.

And the first thing that comes to mind for that standard is the man right in front of me.

Smiling, I take a few steps forward and grab his hand, swaying it.

MC: For that, I still need CEO Victor’s cooperation.

MC: You’re right. I must thoroughly study the thing I find “addictive to the point of being unable to break away from.”

Victor stares at me, and after a moment, he sets the documents down and stands up.

Victor: Sure, but this is your task. You can’t disrupt someone else’s work and rest.

MC: No worries!

Victor: Great. I’m clocking out now.

MC: Hm?

I subconsciously turn my head and glance at the wall clock, then look at him while puffing out my cheeks.

MC: There are still two minutes until the work hours end!

Victor: Are you this precise when it comes to arriving late for work?

MC: …T-this is a completely different matter!

MC: What happened to being “addicted to work to the point of being unable to break away”?

Victor: I never said that. And if you think so, then it seems like you still don’t know me well enough.

Seeing Victor really going to fetch his coat, I pout my lips and follow along.

MC: You’re leaving so early today. Do you have something planned for after getting home?

Victor: The ingredients I ordered for you will arrive shortly, so I need to head back early to get them prepared.

Victor: If you want to work overtime on my behalf, I don’t have any objections.

The moment I hear it’s about me, I immediately set aside my earlier dissatisfaction and hastily latch onto his arm.

MC: No need for overtime, no need!

MC: What’s a chef without his diner cheering him on!  Come on, come on, let’s go home!

—

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【Chapter 3】

Back at home, Victor tidies up briefly and carries the delivery box into the kitchen. Curiosity piqued, I tag along to find out what he’s up to.

He takes out the ice bags from the box, revealing a row of fresh sea urchins.

The memories of the last experience of eating sea urchins surface in my mind, and I can’t help but break into a knowing smile––

–

──── [Flashback Begins] ────

Victor had asked me to help taste a new dish, which turned out to be an extraordinarily pretty sea urchin salad.

I took a big mouthful with anticipation, but something didn’t feel quite right. So, I took another taste.

Victor: How is it?

MC: Hmm… it’s not quite how I imagined it to be?

As I pondered the source of bitterness, I shifted my gaze to Victor. His demeanor remained composed, except for the unwavering stare locked onto my face.

I swiftly adjusted my expression and decided to give it another try.

MC: It must be that my eating technique wasn’t right. I’ll have another taste!

Victor: Hold on.

Victor took my fork and tasted a bit himself, knitting his brows into a frown. Then, he picked up the plate and stood up.

Victor: Don’t eat this. Let me prepare something else for you.

──── [Flashback Ends] ────

–

Since then, we haven’t brought up this rare “Waterloo defeat” again. But little did I realize that he was still carrying hard feelings about it.

Victor notices my teasing grin that I’m unable to suppress and lets out an imperceptible sigh.

Victor: Just say whatever you want to say.

MC: It looks like Chef Victor is becoming more and more resilient after each setback.

Victor: I just don’t accept bad reviews.

MC: That’s not an attitude you used to have before, despite all the negative reviews Souvenir had?!

Victor: When a certain someone who usually goes around controlling other people’s reviews gives negative feedback, it’s genuinely a bad review.

After Victor finishes speaking, he puts on his apron and prepares to clean the sea urchins. I naturally take the apron strings from behind him and tie them up.

MC: It wasn’t that bad. I guess maybe the ingredients weren’t fresh enough that time? Or maybe… there was some kind of clash with how it paired with the caviar.

Victor: You don’t need to make excuses for me. I’ve already found the reason.

Victor: Help me with sampling the dish again today.

MC: Sure! Let me help as your Sous Chef too!

Victor assigns the task of selecting and washing the vegetables to me, while he focuses on processing the sea urchins.

Since there isn’t much for me to do, I covertly watch him as he works and notice some differences when preparing the sauce.

MC: Did you change the recipe for the sauce?

Victor: Hmm, it will enhance the freshness this way.

Victor: Try it and see.

He scoops up some sea urchin with a small spoon, dips it in the sauce, and feeds it to me.

The silky texture, complemented by the refreshing sweetness of the seasoning, instantly makes my eyes widen.

MC: It’s so yummy!

MC: Sure enough, Mr. Victor’s culinary skills are beyond question!

Craving for more, I lick my lips to savor the lingering taste and catch a glimpse of Victor’s lips curling up as well. He seems to be in a good mood.

I can’t help but snicker inwardly. This man has quite a competitive spirit in this particular matter.

MC: See, I was right, wasn’t I? You really are “into” cooking.

MC: You always have a knack for finding ways to eliminate imperfections, just like collecting materials and leveling up in a game.

Victor: Indeed, and it’s all because we have a gluttonous “Big Boss” at home.

Victor: You eat when you’re in a good mood, and you eat when you’re in a bad mood–– bringing me new challenges every day.

I can’t help but laugh mischievously as I watch his relaxed side profile. Then, taking a piece of seaweed from beside him, I begin chewing on it.

MC: Hearing you put it that way, I suddenly feel like incorporating a cooking segment would be a good idea.

Victor: Will you be able to have secret cues while cooking too?

MC: Absolutely! Cooking can bring you so much insight!

Victor: Like what?

MC: For instance, right now, I believe I know what truly is the thing that you’re addicted to the point of being unable to break away from.

I raise my head and make eyes at him. Victor glances at me briefly before diverting his gaze and letting out a soft chuckle.

Victor: Turns out that a certain dummy isn’t always a dummy; she becomes smarter after eating something.

MC: Hehe, looks like I guessed it correctly.

I brazenly lift myself on my toes and ruffle his hair. Then, I swiftly dart inside the house like a wisp of smoke before he can charge me with his stare.

Victor: Where are you off to?

MC: I’ll tidy up the dining table first and roll out the red carpet for today’s feast~

Victor: …childish.

I pull a face at him and elatedly set the table with the cutlery.

I’ll let him off for his teasing today. After all, I’m not the only one who is “childish.”

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【Chapter 4】

After having our fill of eating and drinking, with the spirit of “studying,” I launch a two-player game.

The game requires two players to cooperate in searching for the treasure. The character I’ve chosen is blindfolded, so the screen appears pitch-black for me.

On the other hand, Victor’s screen displays textual instructions, and he needs to guide my actions at the right times.

MC: But if it stays pitch-black like this, even if we manage to locate the treasure, I won’t know, will I?

Victor: There ought to be some special hints; let’s keep moving forward for now.

MC: Hang on, my gamepad just vibrated! Oops, it seems like I bumped into a wall again…

Victor: …try moving a bit to the right.

After fumbling around in the darkness again for who knows how long, a glimmer of light suddenly appears on the screen. I try to control the character to crouch, and sure enough, it shows that the treasure has been obtained.

MC: We’ve found it!

MC: Although it took quite some time… we still have a great tacit understanding, don’t we!

Victor: Not too bad, we were quicker than when I usually have to accompany a certain dummy to find directions.

I grunt several times, shift to the side, and lean into his arms while holding the game console.

MC:  I think this gameplay could be quite fitting for the show, you know.

MC: It challenges the players’ tacit understanding and has a decent level of complexity. Plus, watching people getting confused and disoriented and bumping into walls would be quite hilarious.

MC: CEO Victor, what do you think?

Victor: If you’re not concerned about the recording duration, it can be given a try.

MC: If players are blindfolded during the game, we need to take safety issues into account too…

MC: I wonder if it might be better with a slightly smaller space?

As I speak, I observe the room before me, and suddenly, an idea strikes me.

Due to a last-minute notice about a meeting, Victor casually placed the tie he had taken off on a chair nearby before leaving the house early in the morning, without having time to put it away.

I run over to pick up the tie and randomly grab a toy of Pudding’s from the coffee table. Then, I stuff it into Victor’s hands and promptly position myself in the corner of the room.

Victor: What are you up to now?

MC: I want to try it myself.

MC: Let’s treat this toy as the “treasure.” Blindfold me first, and then you can guide me to find it.

MC: We’ll keep the range within this room. How’s that?

Victor sighs and walks over, taking the tie from me. He then helps me tie it around the back of my head.

Victor: You certainly know how to make the most of what you have.

MC: Hehe, this extent is just perfect.

MC: You can hide the treasure now.

I hear Victor’s footsteps gradually move farther away, and then, a soft “click” sound follows. The light on the other end of the fabric vanishes entirely.

MC: D-Did you just turn off the lights?

Victor: Scared?

MC: No, not at all. I’m just feeling a bit out of sorts, is all.

Victor: That’s good, then.

Victor: I remember a certain someone saying that playing games is about confronting your fears head-on. Looks like you haven’t debunked your claim yet.

I try my best to identify the direction his voice is coming from and defiantly crane my neck towards it.

MC: I’m very familiar with this “map.” So, maybe I won’t need your help anytime soon.

Victor: Is that so? In that case, I shall wait and see.

I initially thought it wouldn’t be difficult in a room I’m so familiar with. But once my vision is blocked, things turn out to be not as simple as I assumed.

I walk to the left for a bit. According to my memory, I should be somewhere near the sofa. However, when I reach out to feel it, it’s not the soft texture I expected.

MC: Huh? What is this… the bookshelf?

Victor: Walk five more steps to the left, and you’ll reach the sofa.

MC: Is it this way?

Skeptically, I walk a few more steps and feel a hard object obstructing my feet. I slowly crouch down to touch it and realize it’s actually a cold glass surface.

MC: This is the coffee table! How could you trick me!

MC: I suspect you’re a mole sent by the opposing team, deliberately leading me to go around in circles.

Pouting, I complain as I keep spinning around, trying to locate where Victor is–– until I hear a soft chuckle drifting from behind me.

As soon as I turn around, without a chance to say a word, I find myself being pulled into someone’s arms.

Victor: Alright, the game is over.

MC: Hold on, where’s my treasure?

Victor: Right there by your feet.

MC: Are you serious? Then let me pick it up.

Just as I’m about to crouch down, he pulls me back, locking me firmly in the confines of his arms.

Victor: Still don’t believe me?

Victor: In any case, every time you win something, you just always have to pounce on me to show off.

Victor: I’m just helping you skip an unnecessary step.

I prod him gently as a form of protest, but my lips can’t resist curling up into a smile.

MC: You know everything about me to a T. How is this even fair?

Victor: No matter how thrilling a game is, if played for long enough, it’s only expected that you will figure out the patterns–– let alone a certain dummy.

MC: Then, would you still find it fascinating?

Victor: Don’t you know that answer already?

A warm breath teases my ear, and I can feel someone gently tracing his fingertips across my neck.

The mild itch and tingling sensation remind me that he has already proven his answer to me a long time ago.

It’s the prolonged kisses, the embraces to hold the other with all our might, and the marks born out of uncontrollable emotions that we leave behind on each other…

It’s a feeling of immersion and dependence, just like an addiction.

The temperature on my cheeks ascends rapidly from the passionate memories. I want to shake my head to regain clarity, but someone holds it in place, preventing me from moving.

Victor: Your face is so flushed. Looks like you’ve remembered something.

MC: You’re so cheeky…

MC: I just want to hear it from you directly.

A peal of soft laughter glides from my ear down to my jaw, finally settling at the corner of my lips, in sync with my breathing.

Victor: You know how to make demands; that’s good.

Victor: Well, I’ll only say it just this once.

Victor: It’s just like you said. What I’m addicted to the point of being unable to break away from will forever be fascinating to me and will always be worth the challenge.

Victor: No matter how much time passes, I’ll never grow weary.

A stream of satisfaction surges from the depths of my heart, and I subconsciously nuzzle my cheek against the palm of his hand.

Victor: Satisfied?

MC: Not yet.

MC: Words alone won’t suffice; you must prove it with action.

I reach out my fingers to touch him, exploring his soft muscles and tracing my way to the solid collarbones. Skillfully, I find the gap between his tie knot and hook my finger into it.

It’s akin to a signal; with just a gentle pull, I can get hold of my “treasure.”

Fervent kisses instantly catch my breath, leaving me with no choice but to swallow the provocation I have yet to put into action.

The layer of darkness, which is deeper than usual, overwhelms all my senses and draws them to rush toward the area that is being plundered. I can no longer maintain my original posture, my knees give away, and I lunge directly at the person who has started it all.

My impact seems to have knocked him over, causing him to tumble and end up sitting down somewhere, which grants me a momentary interval.

Lowering my head, I breathe desperately, my breaths coming in gasps. He gently pats the back of my head, his deep voice melding into my ragged breaths.

Victor: Do you want me to give you some time?

MC: What…?

Victor: To make the changes in the first draft of your show.

MC: …I’m off work now!

I haphazardly reach out my hand, intending to give him a punch. But I find my wrist swiftly being caught in mid-air, foiling my attempt.

Victor: Good. So, starting from this moment on, forget about your show for the time being.

Victor: Be more focused.

—

Without waiting for my explanation, the hand at the back of my head gently exerts force, sending me back into his arms again.

The soft touch of his lips makes my heart itch. I can’t help myself from lifting my head and craving more.

The pain I expect doesn’t arrive, and I don’t know whether it will or not. Subconsciously, I tighten my grip on the tie in my hand, taking the initiative to deepen the kiss.

Wet and sultry; just like the rain outside the window which has started pouring who knows when.

An array of grotesque light spots dance before my eyes, and a slight sensation of dizziness causes everything around me to appear as if it’s melting away.

His fingers thread themselves into my hair. Unable to withstand any longer, the velvety tie succumbs to the intimate caressing against my ears and temples, eventually sliding down loosely.

–

[Tidbits]: the phrase used here is so fascinating– “耳鬓厮磨” (ěrbìn sīmó). the phrase itself literally means “(one’s) ear rubbing (the other’s) hair at the temple),” which generally dictates a very personal and intimate moment shared between lovers, BUT, it specifically refers to the lovers being childhood playmates. yeah, way to shove in knives oh-so-delicately 🤡

–

The sudden intrusion of light makes me uncomfortably close my eyes, but the person in front of me doesn’t give me the slightest opportunity to evade his presence.

His warm breaths caress my eyelids, and I’m overcome with a sensation as if my entire body is being kissed.

The delicate and closely woven incessant licks and kisses have long shattered my willpower, and at this moment, the person in front of me consumes all of my senses.

Each time I respond to his teasing advances, I’m answered with even heavier and deeper breaths from him.

My eyes slowly open, and I gaze into the moist and profound depths of his gaze. Even amidst the darkness of the night, I know that, from beginning to end, those eyes have always held me.

I have received his proof and also garnered deeper insights into my own heart.

He is the “treasure” I’ve yearned to find countless times throughout my journey of exploration and moving forward.

Even if everything remains unchanged forever, I’m willing to continue this pursuit relentlessly.

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[Anika’s Ramblings]

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#🫠👁️👄👁️😵‍💫🔥❤️ #i love them so much akdjdjdhd they’re just so ajdjdkhbkhdgh #even though they keep calling me out as single in every existent and nonexistent languages lmao but #THEY ARE JUST SO OLD MARRIED COUPLE 😩😩 I'LL TAKE THE VICTOR x MC DOSAGE THREE TIMES A DAY EVERY DAY THANK YOU. #mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc #mr love victor #mr love queen's choice #恋与制作人 #李泽言 #love and producer #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc translations

[tjisntnice]

Possession and Obsession

bipolar!darry, past Curtis family, ms Curtis named mary, canon divergence

Soda woke up to shuffling in the kitchen. His first thought was that it was one of the gang members and to turn around and go back to sleep, but when he glanced at the time, something told him that wasn’t the case.

One thing that not many people knew was that Darry was bipolar. If they had to guess, he got it from dad. It was an entire thing when mom and dad were still alive. Darry was 17 when he had his first mania episode, and from what Soda saw at 13, it was bad. It had started simple. Darry would be outside for hours at a time, not coming home until late hours of the night. His parents didn’t know where he went, but Soda once saw Paul Holden hopping their fence after seemingly dropping Darry off. His mom and dad stopped trying to talk to their eldest son the 5th time around, in a week.

Darry had been more energetic too, far more happier than he normally would be. When he did get pissed off though, he would immediately get aggressive. To Soda, it looked like Darry was on top of the world. Until he fell.

It got bad one night, Soda never found out what actually happened. He just knew that he was watching a late-night movie with his dad and Pony, with his mom cleaning up the kitchen, when the phone rang. His dad had picked it up, barely taking his eyes off the screen while his mom had come over to see who it was. The person on the other end had only been talking for a few seconds before Soda saw his dads eyes widen and he had straightened up. After a few more seconds, and his mom mouthing a question that Soda hadn’t quite caught, Darrel had told the mystery person that he was on the way and hung up. He quickly began putting on his shoes and coat, grabbing his keys before telling his wife that “Somethin’s up with Darry, I don't know.” and rushing out the door without another word.

He came back around 30 minutes later, a dirt and blood covered Darry pressed against his side.

“What the hell happened to you!?” His mom yelled, rushing from her pacing in the kitchen. She had sent Soda and Pony to their rooms. Darry just shrugged before sobbing, stumbling over air and onto the couch.

“He’s drunker than Two-bit on a bad day.” Darrel explained, pulling off his jacket and toeing his shoes. “It took damn near forever to get him. Was on the other side of town.”

Mary gasped, quickly going to feel her son's forehead. Darry was burning up.

“Go get the thermometer and a trash can.” She instructed her husband, waving him away. They both froze at the groan their son had let out. “Maybe the trash first.” Mary amended, wincing.

Darrel did the same before scurrying to the kitchen, grabbing the bin and handing it to his wife before stalking back to the bathroom in one quick motion.

Mary put the trash can by her son, just before the boy shivered and gagged what little was in his stomach. She winced again, looking at her husband who was walking in the room. She turned her attention to her son, who was dry heaving now, and began petting his growing out hair. She didn’t understand what was up with these boys and their long hair, back in her day almost every guy had the same haircut, but times were changing.

Darry was done, for now, so she put the bin to the side and took the waiting instrument from her husband. Making quick work of sliding it into her son's mouth, she held it in place while waiting. Taking it out–and seeing the results, Mary grimaced and handed it to her husband. She continued to stroke her son's hair while listening to Darrel shuffle about behind her. Once it seemed like he wasn’t going to puke, she moved out the way to let her husband guide Darry to a sitting-than standing-position. Slowly helping him walk(stumble) to him and Soda's bedroom, he disposed of him on the mattress on the floor that posed as Darrys bed. Mary came up behind him, putting the trash can on the floor beside her son.

She walked over to Soda's confused gaze, kissing his forehead and explaining to him how Darry wasn’t well. Soda grinned.

“Dare’s drunk?” He asked, earning himself a smack on the head.

Grabbing his head and glaring at his mom, Soda turned his attention to his older brother. He didn’t look like Two-bit at all. His parents also seem to notice that, if the concerned glances and the way they both hesitated to leave the room showed. It was until a curious 11 year old Pony showed up at the door, that they finally left, leading him off to get one last bowl of ice cream before bed. Soda looked at his alarm clock, rolling his eyes at the bright 12:43am before jumping up and chasing after the rest of his family.

“I want some too!”

#the outsiders #dallas winston #darrel curtis #the outsiders headcanons #sodapop curtis #steve randle #ponyboy curtis #bipolor #manic pixie nightmare #dally winston #yeah #im projecting

[am-i-obsessed---maybe]

Disordered (Shadow Of A Bluejay Ch.9)

Whoooo, angst (light angst but angst) in general it's a shorter chapter because it's mostly reformatted from Shadow Of A Bluebird seeing as it covered much of the same ground.

My current plan is three more chapters (including the finale) and a few more mini chapters to cover the remaining episodes and milestones we need to hit to be ready for the finale one of which is gonna be Blue's first time meeting their fellow sidekicks!

Wordcount: 1.2k

Series masterpost

Mount Justice October 23, 17:30 EDT

It’d been a week since Batman put you and the team through a train for failure mission. A week to sit on everything that occurred in the increasingly horrifying experience where no matter what you did the situation kept getting worse. You refused to speak after the exercise. You didn’t leave the cave. You simply trained, and trained and trained while rerunning what had happened in the exercise in your mind.

Simulation Alien Mothership October 16th

Artemis was dead. Kaldur was dead. Connor was dead. Dinah was dead. Ollie was dead. Roy was probably either dead or dying and you felt anger that you haven’t felt in a very long time. You were full of rage, rage that bubbled under your skin as your friends and everyone who tried to help them died before your eyes and it bubbled until you reached the boiling point.

Once you, Robin, Kid Flash, Miss Martian and Martian Manhunter were almost out of the mothership. Almost saved the world you snapped. Not at your allies but at the aliens that surrounded you. The strange bug like creatures surrounded your and you let your anger take control and you stormed the Aliens, screaming a battle cry.

“How dare you?! You killed Artemis! You killed Dinah! You killed Ollie! You killed everyone, and I’m going to make your deaths painful!” You sneered, you jumped into action. Muscle memory took control and almost every blow you landed hit hard. Energy consumed your veins and you began zapping or electrocuting the aliens, it was unclear to you. It didn’t matter though and your rage filled alien murder spree continued. Robin forced the Martians to escape and joined your fight only for you to be zapped by an alien he was fighting.

That’s when you woke up. You looked around, you listened to the explanation and all you could do was look down at your slightly shaking hands in guilt.

You stayed away from the rest of the team after that, refusing to talk to anyone. The only person you talked to was Dinah and only to tell her you were fine and didn’t wanna talk about it.

Mount Justice October 23rd

Kaldur had gone in to see Dinah, Connor and Artemis already spoke to her and M'gann felt too bad to look any of you in the eyes. all had left the room, leaving only you, Robin and Wally sitting in the lounge.

The TV was black and silent and the three of you just sat there.

The three of you had all "died" together in the simulation. Wally was your best friend and Robin was his and leaving you three alone well...

"Blue, your floating again" Wally said. He sat on the couch opposite you.

"Sorry, my mind was drifting" You said, falling back onto the couch with a lack of grace the two had never seen before.

"This is awful" Robin said.

"Do you ever think, maybe we shouldn't be doing this?" You asked.

"What do you mean?" Wally asked.

"I know we're the good guys but maybe we're too dangerous to be so freely fighting, I mean, you saw how quickly all of us became soldiers in there" You said.

"Is this because of that weird laser thing you did on the mothership?" Wally asked.

"It's because we're dangerous! Because if we're not careful, if we don't control ourselves we could so easily hurt so many people" You said.

"I mean, Wally you could theoretically break the sound barrier, and Robin and I could kill someone with just our bare hands" Yo looked down at your hands.

"Is it really safe for the people around to us to be around us?" You asked.

"Of course it is" Robin said.

"Yeah, we'd never do anything to hurt anyone" Wally added.

"But it would be so easy for us" You said.

"Is this because of your um... meltdown in the simulation?" Robin aske.

"No, just forget it" You said, getting up and walking out.

Mount Justice October 23, 20:03 EDT

You sat in front of her in a green chair and took off your glasses.

“I’m glad you chose to come talk to me Y/N” She said and you laughed dryly.

“As if I could ever escape it” You joked but Dinah stayed silent, waiting for you to speak. She knew you. She knows you. She knows that those dry, sarcastic jokes are a sign you’re going to open up.

“It was weird at first. I didn’t feel bad after seeing you and Ollie disintegrate but when Artemis died, or when we thought she did this feeling in my chest just appeared. Like a promise or an oath I had to uphold.” You explained and Dinah nodded. “And what was that promise?” She asked, you answered, though still didn’t look up from your hands.

“To get revenge. To painfully tear apart those who killed her… And you and Ollie.” You answered truthfully and finally looked up at her. “And I did. I killed them, so many of them.” Your voice started to shake and you looked back at your hands.

“Did you try to hurt them when you killed them?” She asked and you nodded.

“I wanted to— I did enjoy seeing them squirm as I did it. And seeing them all explode, it just felt…” A single sob escaped you. “It just felt right.” You confessed and you looked down at your rapidly shaking hands. “I promised— I said I’d never do it again. I’d never take a life like that again, but I felt good as I did it.” Warm tears began to flow down your face but you didn’t try to wipe them. You simply stared at your hands, trying to stop the shaking by tightly gripping your knees and Dinah simply sat. Waiting for you to feel good enough to continue.

"You're not at fault Y/N" Dinah said.

"Aren't I though? Four years of progress and yet all it took for me to snap was some stress" You said.

"It wasn't just stress. M'gann's mental state infected you. You thought you lost everything. In a situation like that regressing is natural" She said.

"It's not just that, between the mission in Bialiya, my mission with Roy and this, it feels like, like it's all coming back to haunt me." You told Dinah, though that wasn't the whole truth. You didn't tell Dinah about your meeting with Lady Lilith. You didn't tell anyone that.

"Is it really coming back to haunt you or are you scared it will? Your past will always be there Y/N but you have friends, close friends who care about you. Maybe it's time you told them at least some of it" Dinah said.

"No!" You yelled.

"Absolutely not. They'll hate me" You said.

"Y/N, we classified your file to keep you and everyone around you safe but it's been four years and they haven't come after you. perhaps it's time we think about declassifying some of it?" Dinah suggested.

"No. Not yet." You said and reluctantly Dinah nodded.

"Whatever you decide. You set the pace." she said.

The next week was rough, Canary let you off school and you spent a lot of time in the cave and with Roy. Ollie wasn’t joking when he said that even Roy was worried and he came by to help you try and return to normal while you coped. You were incredibly grateful for the distractions and to spend more time with him. It had been four months since he went solo and in that time you didn’t get the chance to hang out like you used to before. Unfortunately not everything was going great.

#reader insert #dc x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader #yj x gender neutral reader #yj x reader #young justice x reader #metahuman reader #dick grayson #wally west #kid flash #aqualad #robin #dinah lance #black canary

[oxpogues4lifexo]

Full Kook - Part 1

A Protective/Sweet/Obsessive/Possessive!Rafe&JJ Fanfic

Warnings: Mentions of drugs, Alcohol, Language, SA, Abuse, Sex. Anything I missed Lmk. Word count: 1.7k Summary of Part 1: Introduction of the main three characters, told by the one and only JJ Maybank.

JJ's Pov:

Bella Elizabeth Brooks.

The Princess of Kildare. With a heart of gold and the face of an angel. The girl everyone wants to be or be with. And the only person to disagree with that.. herself.

Bella grew up on The Cut with no mum, a father but no dad, and barely any friends. Despite the idolisation, everyone has always avoided her, and that's for one reason and one reason alone - Thomas Brooks.

The man who created the island's untouchable sweetheart.

There's reasons for it, that only the Pogue's side of the island understand. Whereas, for Figure Eight? Let's just say Tom has a good friend who keeps his status well-worded.

Don't get me wrong, Tom is THE most respected man in the OBX; works for everyone, always knows how to put smiles on their faces, and never has a bad thing to say about anything or anyone.

Well, that all goes out the window when it comes to Bella. I mean who wouldn't throw that all away if they had a daughter like her? But it definitely all changed when the whole fiasco with her mum came out last year. (14 years prior her mum passed. Her dad.. I'll save that for later). But it completely ruined everything for the both of them; everyone stopped wanting Thomas to take their jobs meaning they were losing a lot of money, and Thomas didn't want Bella having anything to do with anyone, as they all started spreading rumours about her, so he pulled her out of school.

Luckily the news only went around The Cut. So, ever since last Summer, Bella and Tom have been working up on the North side, taking jobs from anywhere they can like the Island Club or even just small things like mowing people's lawns. To be fair if I was getting paid that much, l'd do anything for them too. It helps that their family friend is only THE richest man on the island, so it makes surviving that little bit easier.

The Brooks had to start over from rock bottom, again, but they've managed to get themselves back to where they were. Everyone has started to move on from the situation, but now it was Thomas' turn. Which leads me back to why Bella doesn't like her life, despite having almost everything.

Her parents are Kooks, grew up on Figure Eight, best friends with Ward and Mary Cameron (before she left). Tom and Ward were inseparable since the day they met in Middle School, then meeting Mary and Elizabeth (Bella's mum) in High School, as they were cheerleaders for their football games.

However, Thomas suffered with mental illness since he was a little boy, and it slowly grew worse over the years. It meant that taking care of himself was bad enough, so being in a relationship with Eli would be extremely difficult. But, Elizabeth and Ward were what he needed as a distraction from everything else, so he stayed.

Taking us to 17 years ago (7 years later), when Eli found out she was pregnant and began to focus on that instead, something clicked in Tom's head. Almost like flipping a switch. Eli wasn't enough to make his thoughts go away anymore and Ward was now busy with Cameron Development so he turned to alcohol as a last resort. He wanted to move to The Cut to see if starting over would help him to get better but in-fact it did the opposite.

Around when Bella was 2, Eli and Thomas got into a huge argument over his drinking problem and how it was affecting their daughter’s life. One thing led to another and.. (I think you can piece it all together by now.)

The problem was, Tom is the sweetest man to exist, but when he lashes out he's a completely different person, even to himself. Afterwards, he doesn't remember a thing as if it was someone else inside his body. So him and Bella thought nothing of it; ignoring whenever he had an ‘episode’ (what they started to call it as he began to switch up more often and had no recollection of it after).

When Ward found out, he realised how distant he'd been; bailed Tom out and sent him to rehab.

This is where I come in.

At the time, Thomas, Ward, Mike, Bobby, and my dad, Luke, were all friends. They all were aware of Tom's mental health but never knew what happened that night (other than Ward) and they made sure to keep it that way.

Bella stayed with me and my dad for about two weeks before Thomas gave up on rehab. He believed that as long as he had Bella and he stopped drinking, he'd be okay. Ward didn't want to admit it, but he didn't trust Tom with his own daughter, especially when he was still grieving, so all of his friends would be over every night to 'check up on him'; they'd gamble, watch football, spend time with me and Bella (and an occasional Sarah and Rafe if Mary was busy).

Whatever it took to distract Thomas from his own mind.

Bella grew up surrounded by people; as we grew older and went to school, meeting new people was on the top of our list. Because of my dad, I practically lived at the Brooks house, so when Bella and Tom started going to Tannyhill for the weekends, I had to fill in the time. That's when I met John B. Then Kiara, then Pope. Bella, on the other hand, wasn't good at making friends, her dad was very picky with who she could surround herself with so she settled for me, Rafe and Sarah. The people he knew.

Rafe and Sarah began to visit the Brooks with Ward and so, even though I was quite sceptical about the whole ‘Kooks befriending Pogues thing’, I had no choice but to do so. The Camerons are the only reason, me, Bella and Tom have a good life so tolerating them is my way of thanking them.

Sarah ditched Bella for Kiara during High School before ditching Kie aswell (I don't know what happened, don't ask, the look I get when I ask is like I just murdered a whole family of turtles). This led the visitings to stop however, and they only saw each other once a week. The weekend stays were cut to a Friday dinner at most and so Bella and Rafe grew apart.

Bella was left with me and her dad. And then because of the whole information outbreak last year, she lost everything else. Thomas has worked his ass off to give her everything he can and she appreciates every part of it. She always tells him that she'd be happy living in a cardboard box as long as she had me and him, but it never stopped him from trying to give her the world.

But trust me, she meant it.

Anywho. The good news after that shitshow of a trauma dump that doesn't actually belong to me but to my gorgeous best friend, is that because of Bella and her dad working at the Island Club so much, her and Rafe reunited and are now as close as ever.

Gross, gag me..

Joking, I can't say that.

He's sat right beside me smoking a J with me whilst Bella's asleep on the other side of the L -shaped couch.

Me. Rafe. Bella.

The ‘Famous Trio’ of Kildare Island. I'm not going into another lecture but let me just say that we are the most well known people in the OBX right now. Rafe's the heartthrob of the Kooks, me? I'm the Pogues equivalent of course, and Bella's the beauty that came from the beast (Her dad, get it? No? Okay..) and we're all somehow friends.

Everyone on the island thinks we’re this weird throuple because of how close we all are to one another but we're actually so far from it.

Okay that was a lie.. to Bella there's absolutely nothing between us. But me and Rafe? GOD we fawn over Bella whenever we get the chance. And what makes it even harder to ignore is the fact that we know it'll never happen.

It's not that we want to sleep with her or anything, it's actually quite the opposite. We love that she likes us outside of that. That's what gets us the most, (other than the way she looks but that's a given), that she cares about us. And even through everything she'd never leave.

Bella Brooks is for life. And me and Rafe are never ever letting her go. That's a promise.

"Hm look.." Rafe lifts his phone to meet my eyes with the proudest grin on his face, a picture of Bella taking up the screen. It was a photo he took of her earlier today at the club whilst she was beating Topper at golf. Rafe taught her and she was quick to learn; he enjoys watching Topper's expressions when he loses to a 'beginner' when in reality she gets private lessons.

I watch the picture, as if it were a video waiting to load. My eyes widen, not being able to fix on only one area.

"Right..?" He chuckles, eyeing the photo himself, tracing every inch of it. Bella bent over, ass hanging out her shorts, and chest slightly exposed over her crop top as her arm is swung to hit the ball. Hair pulled back in a ponytail, held secure in one of Rafe's hats, showing off her whole face.

His eyes glare at me, eyebrows furrowed, now impatiently waiting for a response wondering if he should've shared the photo with me at all. "Send it to me.." I mumble, taking a glance at the Bella laying under a blanket across from us.

I always feel guilty about the way we ogle at her, like some toy we can play with, but we simply just think she's the most beautiful girl we've laid our eyes on. We don’t mean anything by it we just like to let her know.

He laughs passing me the joint, "Knew we were friends for a reason.."

Jealousy doesn't exist between me and Rafe; we know that Bella wouldn't choose between us and she loves us both equally so we have no reason for there to be any tension. Although I can't lie, I do get a little pissed when I see the way he looks at her. Because I know he sees her differently to me, he sees a sparkle somewhere in her that I haven't yet found and he's digging further for it with every interaction. I also know that he has a better chance with her, as me and Bella grew up together, meaning if we ever tried dating it would ruin everything we've worked for.

And Rafe knows that..

Alternative intro to my other one (pinned)

Thank you for reading 🌹❤️

Masterlist

Next part

#jj maybank #rafe cameron #jj obx #rafe obx #jj outer banks #rafe outer banks #obx #outer banks #drew starkey #jj imagine #rafe imagine #rafe cameron imagine #jj maybank imagine #rudy pankow #oc #rafe x oc #jj x oc #outerbanks rafe #outerbanks jj #rafe fanfiction #jj fanfiction #rafe fic #jj fic

[joyburble]

The honey-coloured gown. It first appears in episode 13, and it alerts us immediately that something important has changed in the character's state of mind, several episodes before he works it out himself. Because the scheme of colour and texture is so totally different it's pretty hard not to notice, even in this light.

It is worn for the "why didn't you kill me?" converation with Shangque, in which he learns key information.

It's also worn for this moment where he decides to experience a positive emotion on purpose. We're looking at a river of dark honey, pale honey, soft reds, and shades of gold. All the textures are soft, and so is the shape and construction. The double collar wraps and yields, rather than standing tight around the neck. The pattern echos the flowers he has just spontaneously caused to fall like snow.

The hunting dress is also velvet, but it's a very stiff shape, like armour. The black-and-gold battle dresses we've seen him wear are made of crispy-crackly brocades and chiffons that float and fly and stand up straight, taking up space without actually filling it. This feels totally different to look at.

He reads a little book, trying to make sense of things. Here we can see that it really is the loose wrap-around shape it appears to be, and that there must be a dark underlayer, otherwise invisible, which perhaps also belongs to the long straight sleeves we can just see a corner of.

Look how gorgeous this is! The huge textured sunburst embroidery on the over-gown, the two different layers of facings on the mid-layer collar.

I'm pretty sure this headpiece is the same one he wears with the hunting dress, the one that looks like a present from an Ent. Like the roots of a small but ancient tree.

In Episode 14, the honey gown is worn for the explanation of the hellfire.

After this he returns to the green hunting dress to chase down the kidnapper, but the honey gown comes back in episode 16 for the discovery of Jieli's shenanigans. The cream-coloured robe with the red and gold belt seems almost as though it might be straight-cut, so the belt is actually doing work rather than just decoration. The black and gold robes all look very sharply tailored to the waist, even the one he wears in the dream.

There's also a gold layer we can't see from the front - it might be a lining of the outer gown? Anyway, the effect of this looser shape is to make it look cosy and comfortable, as well as warm in colour and soft in texture, and unusually like a real garment that a real person could plausibly put on or take off. The hunting dress looks like it would bite and then throttle you if you tried to get it off him. This doesn't.

Look at this fantastic texture (of embroidery over cord?), the variety of colour, and the subtle touches of pale green, the green of early Spring and Arwen Undomiel's wedding dress:

This outfit is a sensual feast.

Then, it's worn for the transformation sequence in Episode 17:

Briefly with bare feet! which is a hell of a visual message.

As sunlight falls on the tree, we get a view of the beautiful embroidery that looks almost representational, but not quite - it's a stylised design of branches or clouds or both, and it's gorgeous.

This look stays while he panics and tries to reverse the process, which doesn't work.

For the confrontations with father and brother, it's changed for one of the black-and-gold styles I'll come back to later.

Then in episode 18, he decides to roll with it, so it's worn for the smiling lesson, and the attempt at reconciliation with Xunfeng.

And this epic comedy moment

And the cave scene, which reinforces the idea that it is super warm and cosy: and in which he is comforting Xiao Lanhua with the best reasoning he can think of. "Of course you are an orchid, I took care of you according to the book, and it worked."

And for the scene where he thanks Xiao Lanhua and explicitly accepts the situation.

So: this gown is worn for the entire restoration process, from the initial moments of questioning, through exploration, confusion, bafflment, denial, agony, panic, resistance, despair, more confusion, acceptance, determined attempts at difficult things, unselfconscious sweetness, murderous sweetness, continued confusion, and gratitude. He switches to the green hunting dress for the chase interlude in Episode 15.

This is followed by much funnier confusion and exploration in the Human Realm, and after that the consequences start to hit, and I don't think this delicious outfit ever comes back.

It looks warm, soft, unrestricting, cosy, generous and comfortable while still being big, dramatic, and protective. It's visually telling us the direction his personality wants to go - not necessarily where it will end up, but the direction it's being pulled in, and I think it does a lot to bring us along, subconsciously, with this arc. I call it the honey-coloured gown, but its message is sun melting ice, warmth of feeling, and the possibility of happiness.

The DFQC costumes master post is here.

#love between fairy and devil #costumes #lbfad #cang lan jue #dongfang qingcang #dongfang qingcang's fashion sense #clj

[animestsstuff2]

•Sickly sweet•

Bakugou Katsuki x reader

This is a fic based of a vampire reader. It will stick to the general plot/episode of Mha but with some skipping or added ventures here and there . I know mystical creatures are not in mha but they are in this version so such things as witches, werewolves etc and people with devolved quirks of these will also exist but arent the main focus!

Content warning: blood, death, pretty fluffy material, characters are all aged up slightly to 16/17, cursing, light teasing and light smut?(kissing really) since characters are 16/17 in this AU

Part 1

♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎

"D-Daddy?" You whimpered, as your father lay limp on the hardwood floor. You stumbled over, tripping on your long pajama bottoms as you grabbed his large finger in your own small hand. His hands were always cold, just like yours but this was a different cold. You sniffled as you patted his head, mumbling daddy hoping he would awake.

He didnt…

You tugged on his black hair harshly but to no avail, no grumble of pain came from his lips. His red eyes staring bleakly into the wall where his head faced. You felt yourself tear up as your father stayed lifelessly still and sniffled, crawling under his arm, you cuddled it around you as you cried, truly scared and traumatised. This was an awful sight for a five year old after all. To see their parents lifeless body…

•~~•

A few days had now passed and your father still lay there. You sat, resting your back on him as you ate some animal cracker cookies you had obtained from the cupboard, hoping perhaps this box would finally fill you. The other cracker packets lay discarded around you. You sniffled as you once again tried to shake your father awake, wanting him to wake up. You looked over as your front door opened and a tall man walked in. His body completely covering the opening as he stood tall with his blonde hair styled up. The smile of a hero on his face

“Anzho-!” The loud voice of the hero suddenly fell short as his eyes landed on the scene before him. His smile dropped, eyes becoming sad as he stepped forward and towards the little girl who gleamed at the sight of her uncle.

“Uncle might!” You giggled, grabbing onto the All Mights leg as you looked up at him. His solemn face fell to you and the previous smile bounced back onto his face as he grinned at you, reaching down and picking you up.

“Why little yuri!” He beamed, setting you on his hip. Your stomach rumbled and your eyes watered as the now overwhelming feeling settled back in. All Might understood and stepped towards the kitchen, over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle with red juice in it.

He handed you it and you greedily gulped it down, tipping the bottle back as you finished it, smiling as your hunger died down slightly. He turned and exited the house, not wanting to keep you in that environment anymore. You looked around and seen a few people who you didn’t recognise outside your house, staring at you when your eyes landed on a man and immediately you began struggling against All Might.

“Yuri? What is wrong?” He asked as you groaned, fighting against the stronger heros grip and reaching towards the man who looks identical to your father. All Mights eyes widen as he realised and understood. He walked over to Aizawa who stared at you, not particularly fond of children albeit being a highschool teacher.

“Anzhong has passed away” All Might informed his friend before him who suspected this.

“Was it from what he warned us about?” Aizawa asked and All Might nodded. You stopped struggling, content in staring with awe at the pro heros scarf before you, enjoying how it moved about.

“What will happen with her?” Aizawa asked, watching you cautiously. Your red eyes and sharp fangs did little to help hide what you really were. You giggled as you grabbed the scarf tendrils.

“Im not sure. I would take her if I could but I would not have the time. I barely had the time to stop by once and see Anzhong and her. She will need proper care” All Might stated, looking at you with worry. He didnt want to just give you to anyone. You needed stability especially after this.

“She would need to go to another hero. A regular foster family could not take her” All Might continued, wondering what to do

“I could take her, until something permanent is sorted” Aizawa stated, as you moved his scarf up and down. All might was surprised at his friends suggestion, given his personality.

“Are you sure? Its a lot of responsibility and what about your teaching job” All Might asked but Aizawa brushed him off.

“It will only be temporary, until you sort her a permanent home so you better make it quick” Aizawa muttered as he reached forward and took you from All Might. You happily went with him yawning as the food from earlier settled your stomach allowing now for you to feel the effects of not sleeping, leaning on his shoulder.

“Thank you Aizawa. Ill make sure to sort out a more permanent solution quickly” Aizawa nodded in agreement and they decided to leave as the coroner began to move your fathers body.

Although what both heroes believed to be a temporary situation didnt expect for days to quickly become months and soon years and Aizawa got used to the company…

#bakugou katsuki #mha #my hero academia #bnha deku #all might #aizawa shouta #kirishima eijirou #bakugou x reader

[aloneinthehellfire]

AloneInTheHellfire's Masterlist

About Me

fic recs

currently written for: steve harrington, eddie munson, robin buckley, billy hargrove

Stranger Things

MAIN SERIES

Raining Hellfire 4 Seasons, Extras [on hiatus until ST5]

[an episode by episode story incorporating fem!reader]

Since moving to Hawkins just two years ago, you found that nothing ever really happened in this town. That was until the day you felt your life change. From meeting a boy to Will Byers’ disappearance, you could just feel that 1983 was going to be different.

The question is, was it changing for better… or for worse?

Fortress Of Memories 14 parts [completed]

Y/n Byers and Eddie Munson were killed in the battle. Vecna had claimed their lives and murdered them right in front of their friends’ eyes. They died heroes, saving the town that hated them both. And now, months later, the first New Year since Hawkins’ destruction had come around. But no one celebrates. Instead, they are entering hell to finally stop Vecna. They were prepared for everything. Or… so they thought…

STEVE HARRINGTON

SERIES

Gates Of Hell 17 chapters [ongoing]

Hawkins swarmed with monsters, quarantined from the rest of the world, few survivors. Steve Harrington and Y/n Hopper are forced to survive together, knowing that despite their hatred, they need each other to make it out of Hawkins alive.

Eight Months 5 chapters [completed]

Y/n went missing at the end of spring. A note was left explaining that after her father, Bob Newby, died, she just couldn’t bear to stay in Hawkins. The others were shocked but after gaining no leads on where she could be, they had to accept that she was gone. But when summer rolls in and Hawkins starts getting scary, Steve and Dustin find themselves venturing into a Russian base and uncover more secrets than they bargained for.

ONE SHOTS

Snippet: When Blue Meets Yellow 807 words

Here’s a sneak peek of a ST3 story I am currently working on. I really wanted to write a Steve x Reader story so let me know if it’s something you’d want :) And I promise the story is much more interesting than just two idiots in love

Missing 2.8k words

Straight after the Battle Of Starcourt, panic was in the air. The mall was going up in flames, another Hawkins cover-up, as the kids reunited with their families. Everyone was on-edge, especially since they barely escaped with their lives. Their minds were running a hundred miles per hour as they couldn’t focus on one thought. But not Steve. All he could think was that in all the chaos, you were no where to be found.

Senior Prom 2.4k words

20th April 1985 was the scariest night of Steve Harrington’s life. He may have battled with demodogs and abusive step-brothers, but the Senior Prom would really put his nerves to the test; he was about to confess his feelings to a girl he had taken for granted for too long.

EDDIE MUNSON

SERIES

It's You and Me, Always 10 chapters [completed]

You and Eddie have been best friends since elementary school and you both assumed that friendship was all you were destined for. However, when you both experience Chrissy’s supernatural death, you are pulled into the secrets beneath Hawkins and find that your feelings for eachother aren’t what they seem.

ONE SHOTS

The Crawl 3.5k words

Hawkins had fallen from Vecna’s curse, taking friends and family with it. They claimed it to be an earthquake but you knew better; you had seen it all unfold in the Upside Down itself. You had watched the boy you loved die in your arms, leaving him where he lay in the chaos of an escape. The guilt tore at you for days. He was gone. At least, that what’s you thought…

Freak's Best Friend 3.4k words

Eddie Munson was being hunted. After Chrissy Cunningham’s death at his trailer, the town had named him a murderer. He didn’t do it, of course. There were supernatural forces at bay that no one but a small group of people knew about. But that didn’t stop Jason Carver and his basketball teammates from taking matters into their own hands. Eddie stayed hidden, much to the party’s request, until Jason found the ultimate leverage to use against the ‘freak’; you.

REQUESTS

Perfect Is A Feeling (eddie x chrissy fic) 1.3k words

Years after the battle of Hawkins, Chrissy and Eddie were lucky to have survived. They celebrated with a date… and then another and another until it felt like a lifetime had passed. Now, they’re married, living in a house of their own with a 3 year old daughter. Chrissy never imagined she could be this lucky.

In Love And Grief 5k words

El Hopper was unsure to her older sister’s behaviour. After the fall of Hawkins, you had been avoiding everyone, and they knew it was because of Eddie. His death had shaken your core. But El never truly understood until she caught a glimpse of how powerful grief really is.

ROBIN BUCKLEY

SERIES

The Pariahs That Saved The World 5 Chapters [ongoing]

When Vecna comes to town, Robin and her friends need all the help they can get in the final battle. The gang searches for an old friend she's never met before. But what Robin didn't know, was that the help would catch her attention in more ways than one.

BILLY HARGROVE

REQUESTS

I Wanna Be Yours 2.2k words

Billy Hargrove has been dating Y/n Wheeler for a few glorious months. Considering their friends, they decided to keep it a secret. His friends didn’t like her. Her friends didn’t like him. And neither of them were upset about that deal as long as they were together. But when things start to test this theory, Billy has other plans…

Greatest Fear 2.3k words

After his fight at the Byers household, Billy Hargrove has only one place to go; to your trailer.

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things x reader #eddie munson x female reader #fanfic #nancy wheeler #stranger things reader insert #eddie munson x reader #fanfic series #dustin henderson #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #billy hargrove #billy hargove x reader #robin buckley #fruity four #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #eleven #eleven jane hopper #will byers #mike wheeler #st1 #st2 #st3 #st4

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

SVU Rewatch thoughts 15-16

This is random but I wanted to share. I've realized how much I've changed over the years while watching this show. I was around 18 when season 16 came out and I perceive it so much differently now that I'm older and have been through more hardship and heartbreak.

When I originally watched it I was a huge fan of Nick and Amanda being together and didn't understand why their relationship wasn't truly noted and skimmed over. Rewatching it I know why. It was an absolute clusterfuck and a total mistake. It has to be one of, if not the most, toxic SVU relationship ever. They were so bad for each other. He was hurting and wanted to save her and she did not want to be a victim or saved at all. She liked to push his buttons for his reaction and he gave it. It was so BAD. Thank you, unhealthy childhood for making me not see toxic.

I also loved Amanda, and I still do like her in later seasons but she was AWFUL in season 15 to the point where I could barely stand watching her episodes and didn't really feel bad for her like I felt I should. She has no repercussions for any of her bad choices. Nick has to be a traffic cop because he beat up a pedophile but she can be a full-out dirty cop to try to get away with her gambling problem and it's okay because Murphy is there to save her? And she is sleeping with him.

Okay, just two more thoughts that I had if anyone cares.

16x1: I forgot how mean Carisi played in his first episode. Empty promises about citizenship to those trafficked girls to get them to flip- broke my heart. (Granted I've never watched seasons 17-21 so I didn't get to really see his character development but I plan to) That scene with the girl where he is yelling at her telling her to call and get somebody who will take it rough- that's what he was there for? Shit surprised me, I don't remember it at all. I love Carisi so much and would never want to change his character but he would have been so fun to watch as a suspect again or a dirty cop.

16x3: The scene with Nick and Noah confirms in my Amaro-loving heart that had the writers been nice to him and given him a healthy relationship Nick would have had a house full of adorable Latino babies. I think had he had a supportive romantic partner he wouldn't have gotten himself into as much trouble either. He had no emotional support or affection. I mean look at who he was paired with:

Maria- won't tell him their relationship is over, hides things from him and makes him jealous, totally overreacts when he does get jealous, causes huge scenes at his workplace, puts his partner/ boss in the middle of their drama, takes away his daughter that HE was raising BY HIMSELF while she was at war, makes it a hard and painful process for him to see his daughter with no leeway, tries to get him to move across the country on false pretenses of their relationship continuing, then when he says he won't let her take Zara threatens to ruin his career.

Cynthia- Please don't make me go there. I absolutely hated this whole arc.

Amanda- I already told you how I felt about this one.

The man was fucked from day one.

#law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #svu #nick amaro svu #nick amaro #sonny carisi #amanda rollins #season 15 #season 16 #rant #recap

[liquidstar]

Ok so, I have only ever watched one episode of Adventure Time, and it was on a hotel room TV, in terrible hindi dub, and I barely remember it on account of being 10(?) but it horrified me.

I remember the MCs trying to get Ice King a girlfriend or something, but he keeps being a gross asshole so they take him to a lake and point at some swans to try and explain love to him. They point to two swans kissing like ':D' and he's like 'ewww' and then the male swan suCKS IN AND EATS THE FEMALE and IK's like ':)))' while the boys stare in horror.

IDR how the episode ended or how much I watched, but I remember thinking 'wow american cartoons are hardcore. I'm sticking to pirated pokemon from now on.'

And you are telling me that show had lesbians in it leter????

oh my god im so sorry but imagining you watching that swan scene as a 10 year old is so fucking funny, i can understand why you stuck with pirated pokemon LOL

adventure time is absolutely very fucked up in a lot of different ways. the early seasons leaned into that type of absurd shit you just described a lot more especially. while the later ones actually started getting more existential and building on the worlds lore.

there wasnt exactly a focused plot, per say. i mean, there was, but it wasnt something methodical and planned out, it was played by ear. and i think it really worked. the way they did it turned out a really cool magic system (based on the idea that reality is just collective perception, and magic users are aware of this and can manipulate perception ergo reality. but the more cosmic knowledge you have the more insane or depressed you become etc especially if youre mortal), and also cool world building (it takes place in a post apocalypse after a nuclear war, now far into the future the face of the earth has completely changed but the horrors unleashed still impact it today), and also a lot of really amazing themes (the world is always changing and nothing is ever permanent, but no matter how things change things also stay the same, in a different way. especially where bonds and love are concerned. everything stays.)

and YEAH there are lesbians (i mean i always hc marcy as bi but still). and they also come from the shows improvisational nature. theres a lot of genuinely really amazing relationships and plotpoints born out of that to me. like, as the show starts to get a lot more thematically dense later on it can seem like a weird shift. some ppl say it got pretentious over time bc its not as goofy (its still pretty goofy lol), but i think it worked... like... perfectly.

because its a coming of age story where the main character actually ages, it actually feels so right that the world around him begins to seem different too. it makes sense that when he was 12 we were doing stupid goofy adventures, when he was 15 we were watching him deal with a lot of really fucked up trauma, and when he was 17 we watched him learn to grow as a person who thinks beyond simple terms of good and evil.

i know im tottaaallly rambling at this point but theres really an insane amount to talk about with adventure time. the timeline alone is ridiculous. but mostly i think my passion comes down to the fact that i was also growing up with the story, always around the same age as the mc going through similar stuff... even now, the story is focusing on a depressed 20-something trying to find whimsy in her life again. and technically the last episode timeline-wise is about accepting death lol

so like idk how exactly id recommend it to a new viewer, its really possible that a lot of ppl wont be able to really tolerate the early seasons as adults (i mean, i think theyre charming, but i have nostalgia goggles lol). that being said i think that its a series totally worth a shot for everyone... eventually. if it sounds interesting you just gotta accept the goofiness at first and trust that youre in for something wild in a totally different way later on. and totally unique and cool and special in a way nothing else has really been able to capture for me since.

TL;DR: no yeah the show was incredibly fucked up and that swan did eat that other swan. but it does have themes and also lesbians.

[daeyeol4you]

The Chay Rewatch

As part of my KP Rewatch, I’m going to be commenting on each episode and analyzing the different Chay scenes. He’s my favorite character, and I thought I’d put down my thoughts (as well as timestamps for his scenes) as a fun way to express that.

Episode 1

Our first glimpse of Chay as a character is the baby photo at the 17:24 mark when the camera pans over an old family photo – the next photo shown is Porsche and Porchay, much older – speaking to the role Porsche was forced to take on as a young child and the clear love between the two.

Time: 17:40- 19:28 - My favorite boi appears!!

Chay being the designated family nurse – he’s never the one hurt but he deals with every single hurt his family goes through, constantly shown that everyone is putting themselves at risk while he just sits there

Arthee saying “If not, Chay would’ve been hurt.” as if he and his gambling issues aren’t the direct cause of the financial troubles Porsche has that caused the rent/debt payments to be late – Porsche’s blind eye that he turns whenever someone close to him does something bad is wild to me, but I digress, this is about Chay

The look on Chay’s face during the whole conversation about paying Chai is very important as he’s clearly a witness to what happened off screen, but he stays silent even during an exchange where he definitely would have something to say. He silently reassures Porsche that he’s okay, but its like he’s biting his tongue because anything he’d say would cause an argument or burden Porsche.

One of the many times we see Chay completely shut down his natural reaction and feelings, something that happens a lot around Porsche. He’s usually so upfront about what he thinks, wants, and feels, so this moment of quiet self-censorship is very telling, to me at least, in how Chay tries to protect Porsche or lighten the load. Chay clearly feels a lot of guilt about how much he’s costing the family.

His first words: “Hia, I’m sorry.”

This whole scene is such an interesting intro because Chay is here to show exactly what Porsche is fighting for and what he has to lose. Without Chay, Porsche doesn’t join the mafia. Without Chay, Porsche doesn’t end up falling in love with Kinn.

Time: 25:45 – 17:18- the celebration pizza scene!

His Shirt: Today is a good day – the costumers really weren’t going for subtlety here

The costumers really like putting Chay in white, maybe to show his innocence or that he’s Porsche’s one light before he falls for Kinn.

Porsche getting to squish Chay’s face – hate to see others living your dream

Chay with the milk, I’m sorry I laughed

Porsche really still sees Chay as a baby – he will have a heart attack if he ever learns that Chay was drinking at a club and nearly took drugs

Time: 31:50 – 32:25 - The Call

Chay I love you, but why would you tell your brother this? I understand he called you, but my dude… just say you’re in the bathroom

shows a lot of Chay’s childishness alongside how unaware of the mafia world he is

His Outfit: Not really distinguishable, but I’m assuming its the same shirt from later on in the episode

Time: 42:53 – 43:33 - Post Disaster Chay

Chay cleaning up the records is honestly so sad. They’re not something he or Porsche would buy as Chay likes idols and Porsche doesn’t seem that interested in any form of art, and the record player looks like the one my dad has in his childhood bedroom (ie that shit old) which means that these are their parents’ records. Chay was barely a toddler when they died meaning he has no memories of them. Porsche, however, does and has elevated their parents to a near god-like status throughout Chay’s life to justify how he pushes Chay to succeed. Chay cleaning those records first when the rest of the house is a mess is him trying not to spare Porsche even just that tiny bit.

Also I wonder if Chay’s love for music stems from these records. Maybe Porsche put them on and said our parents loved these records so that Chay could at least share something with them.

Look, if I were Chay and my brother disappeared the night after saying hey was it Kinn’s people who destroyed the house? I would simply try to find out who Kinn was.

Chay’s outfit: I’ve seen other’s discussing this but the statue of Nike on his shirt continues the trend of the costumers choosing the weirdest thematic shirts to put Chay in.

Time: 48:06 – 54:58 The Beach Bar

Sidenote: all of the trinkets in this house are so thematically interesting

Nefertiti: She shows up in 2 different trinkets. There’s replica of the famous Nefertiti bust, and there’s a picture of the bust in the collage next to the computer. She’s one of the most famous queens in history and one of the most famous pieces of art from Egypt (honestly only beaten out by Tutankhamen’s gold funerary mask, Tutankhamun is also her son – read from this what you will). Korn later contemplates the queen piece as he states that all of the pieces are complete.

The white bird statue on the bookshelves: Nampueng is painting a white bird when she meets Porsche and Porchay (I think) and white birds symbolically usually signify freedom

The silver knight chess piece: this I’ve also seen commented on, but I genuinely think this is so important for Porsche’s role in Korn’s game. Porsche has the symbols of the most famous queen in Egyptian history and a knight chess piece so heavily connected to his home. Also silver is the same color as the Major Family's signet rings. I’m definitely going to keep an eye out for these going forward.

Chay’s Outfit: still in the Victoire de Samothrace shirt, and honestly this entire scene is full of so much history and antiquity in the set and costume design it has to be intentional right??

This whole scene is honestly the best brother scenes in the show, Apo and Barcode are the best at portraying fictional brothers. Chay’s judgmental looks whenever Porsche does something weird to make him laugh – that’s Barcode and Apo full stop.

On a serious note, this scene shows that Chay doesn’t always want to follow Porsche’s path, even though he eventually respects his brother and listens to him. He’s a teenager, and try as Porsche might, he’s not as naïve and innocent to the world as Porsche, who tends to only see the baby in his baby brother, would like. He knows that his schooling is causing a lot of trouble, and he’s trying to pull his own weight. Which Porsche sidesteps in the way only a parent with a crying kid can do.

Sidenote: Porsche refusing to move out of the house is very telling about his character. He was forced to grow up very quickly, but he’s holding onto the house and his parents’ ‘dreams’ (as if their parents didn’t want both their children to go to college and be happy) in a vaguely childish manner that isn’t talked about as much. He wants the life he couldn’t live, and since he can’t have that, he’ll hold on to the idea of it.

Chay’s cries way too many times throughout this series, and he makes me tear up a little bit every time. This scene in particular because its such a realistic scene. Barcode definitely draws a lot of himself up when filming these crying scenes which is why it hurts so much.

Chay Crying Counter: 1

“Don’t forget, you’re not alone in this. And you’re not the only one fighting.” – Chay is constantly bringing up how Porsche isn’t alone, how there are two of them in this family (pool confrontation speech anyone?), but I think this also says a lot about Chay’s character throughout the show. Often times, non-main characters (I’m not gonna say minor even though technically Chay’s screentime puts him closer to minor when compared to other characters) get treated like dolls who exist only to forward the main pairing’s story. Chay states right from the get go that he’s his own person not just an extension of Porsche. He’s fighting as well. He’s a driving part of this story too. (I may be getting a bit too passionate about this one quote, but c’mon! I love when characters assert their own autonomy within the narrative!)

Chay trying to involve himself in Porsche’s troubles (and the narrative), trying to get Porsche to let him in only to be gently shut down and then not so gently left behind. IDK I love analyzing the different Chay’s we get because like Kim & Wik, Chay has different personas that he puts on with different people. With Porsche, he’s the sweet, agreeable baby brother who has to live out their parents’ dreams. He gets good grades, and he goes to the university interview because that is what Porsche wants. And yet, the second he’s no longer in front of Porsche or where Porsche can keep an eye on him, he drops the mask and allows his real emotions to show (I’ll do more analysis as we get to later episodes because this is getting long)

Chay is so attentive to Porsche’s dreams. The beach bar is definitely something he’s pieced together from different things over the years. Porsche talks a lot, and Chay definitely listens. They’re like that Into the Spiderverse meme.

Chay how tf do you not have neck issues. His head is literally laying on his shoulder while he’s laying on the bed.

Not me also analyzing the jazz posters on his walls – Chay was definitely in the Jazz band in school which is why he needs guitar tutoring. He probably plays the saxophone. Most of the saxophone players I know are unhinged in fruity and delightful ways so this is a compliment.

Chay’s Outfit: His satin matching pajama set compels me even though it does not fit his character at all. They definitely realized he needed pajamas and stole something from the costume rack for the major family. They would wear satin pajamas (Kinn does wear satin pajamas I think at one point)

The first thing Chay does when he leaves his room is call for Porsche, somebody sedate me. But what was he trying to do? Was he trying to continue the conversation from the night before? Does Porsche normally wake him up for school? I need answers…

Chay reading the note breaks my heart because its so clear that Porsche is lying. The morning after Chay brings up them running away to run a beach bar and Porsche is suddenly going to an out of reach beach bar? Chay knows this is bull because Porsche would have said something the night before. Chay knows Porsche is doing something so bad that he feels the need to lie to Chay. The deep sigh Chay let’s out as he stares into the yard biting his lip (or pouting? Idk) shows that Chay isn’t fooled. He’s aware that Porsche is in deep shit, and he’s upset that Porsche has gone on his own to fix it. But Chay can’t outwardly express that because he’s spent his whole life being the perfect baby brother trying not to be a burden. So Chay just sits and sighs in his empty house away from the narrative his existence kickstarted (because Porsche would have never joined the family if he wasn’t so desperate to take care of Chay)

Chay is so interesting to me because he is so important to the plot as a whole, but he is constantly kept far away from the main plot. I saw someone say once that he’s in a completely different genre from the mafia story he’s a part of, and I agree.

Overall Chay Rating (Chrating): I give this episode an A- 

 It’s a great intro into Chay’s character by giving you a lot of setup for his character, particularly in relation to who he is around Porsche. There’s no Kim, but I like that we got introduced to Chay before his romantic interest comes onto screen. Chay’s styling this episode was cute, but not my favorite looks. This episode stockpiles Chay fans with lots of Chay screentime to survive the harsh winter (the episodes without him) coming for them. It’s not the best Chay episode, but its definitely up there.

#kprewatch2023 #kinnporsche #porchay kittisawat #my ramblings #kinnporsche the series

[whenim64]

jonesmith analysis ep 11-26 (part 4)

its finally done :)

ep 11

^ Davy looks extra tiny here its so cute.

ep 12 Mike is barely in this one and yet I got something

ep 13 married couple episode. you just have to see the vision.

"WAY TO GO DAVYBABY" 🥰

that scene where Mike is picking up the dirt and hes like "either this dirts the cause of all your trouble, or im getting my hands dirty for nothing" and you can hear Davy very lightly laughing gahh so cute its like a subtle little laugh... hes infatuated.

^we've already established that Davy is just a touchy grabby guy but he really is just standing around holding onto Mike's arm in this scene, not even as a fear response hes just chillin holding his man.

ep 14

nothing really here but i do love that they are mirroring each others posture here

ep 15

butt touch.

also another calling out to Mike in pain scene.

ep 16 and 17 im ngl i didnt bother rewatching these ones so you just have to take my word for it that they are gay in love.

ep 18

neck bite.

ep 19

"good point." "good point."

there is something going on here...

ep 20

this ep is more group poly so im just going to add these cute little touches

ep 21

I love that Davy is just hanging out in the garage with Mike and Peter while they work on the car, hes clearly not helping hes just there to admire them at work.

"makes it lighter" "goes faster"

^^^love this play off each other so much its very in sync.

booster seat ass. I know Mike copped a feel when he was reaching for the book.

this cute scene where Davy is literally pressed against Mike and is leaning his cheek on his shoulder.

pictures are from THIS POST.

ep 22

only this faggotry

ep 23

THIS SCENE where Davy giggles at Mike. and this scene where Mike is telling a dumb joke and hes puffing his chest up Davy looks smitten to me.

the homoerotic tension in this scene. the whistling and glancing at each other... they would be fucking if Micky and Peter werent in the room too. I am choosing to believe that even tho they are staying in a mansion they are all sharing that one room and Davy and Mike are sharing that bed. Davy crawling up behind Mike he shouldve put his hands on his shoulders.

looking at each other like this right after a love confession.. okay!

ep 24 💅

I am choosing to interpret Mike bursting out laughing when Davy first dresses up as a girl as a fake exaggerated reaction because deep inside he felt immense attraction and was having an oh fuck moment.

ep 26

touchy Davy. I also love their pink black outfit contrast. images are from THIS POST.

#yayyy yippee #sorry this one took so long auughh but its here so now ive completed the show #I am not planning to do head + 33 1/3 + 97 special #jonesmith #js analysis #davy jones #mike nesmith #64post #64monkees

[comfort-questing]

17. touch averse/ "leave me alone."

guess who did the Wriothesley story quest and has Feelings.

-

"Your Grace?"

His hands ached as he unclenched them from the bedcovers, his jaw tight and the taste of blood in his mouth from a bitten lip. How long he'd managed to sleep before the night terrors caught him, he didn't know; all hours were the same down here, beneath the weight of the water and above the tilted cap screwed over disaster.

Had he woken anyone? His throat was dry, from thirst only he hoped. He feared it was from screaming, though.

Again the knock, small and muffled, down the twisting stair. "Your Grace, may I come in?"

It was Sigewinne, of course. Always Sigewinne, at the rightest and the wrongest moments. With any luck, she wouldn't have a health drink with her.

Wriothesley staggered upright out of the bed, grabbing his coat to bundle around him against the ever-present chill of the Fortress. The floor was icy beneath his bare feet, and he winced, fumbling for his slippers wherever he had thrown them. By the time he managed his boots, Sigewinne might have decided to shoot the door latch.

He would turn on the light, he would put a record on, he'd find some tea and chase away the shadows. He would remind himself that he was the Duke of Meropide and not a ragged waif anymore, to need a hug and a head pat to chase away nightmares. All this he told himself, his knees shaky as he climbed down the stairs.

True to expectation it was the little Melusine outside his doorstep, as he pushed one door open a crack; her face was folded in worry, hands tucked together in front of her, the nighttime lights of the Fortress crosshatching her form.

"Your Grace, one of the guards mentioned you seemed - distressed."

"I'm all right, Sigewinne. I - need to go back to sleep, that's all."

"You were crying out." Sigewinne swayed back and forth where she stood, the frills of her jacket flaring out. "That doesn't seem all right, sir."

The cut inside his lip stung as he licked it. "Please don't trouble yourself - "

Her calculating gaze swept up and down his form, face pensive. "Are you ill? You don't seem ill, but your heartbeat is abnormally fast and I can see you're exhibiting other panic symptoms - "

No matter how slowly he tried to breathe, he couldn't seem to fool her. She knew; she had always known. But this was his battle to fight, and an old familiar one. "I said I'm fine. Go back to the infirmary, Sigewinne."

"If you want me to get someone else - one of the guards - "

Sigewinne stepped forward, trying to squeeze through the half-open door. She put out a hand to touch his, soothing and soft on the back of his scarred knuckles.

"Leave me alone!"

The words burst out of his throat before he knew he'd said them, startling back with a force that dissolved the last of his careful facade of calm. He was trembling in every limb, his knees threatening to give way underneath him. Distantly, he recognized that this was going to take more than tea and a song to fix; he hadn't had an episode like this for a long time, had thought he was past that...

Miserably, he watched as Sigewinne shut the door behind her, stopping just short of where he stood leaning against the office wall.

"I won't touch you, Your Grace, but I want you to breathe with me, all right?"

To sink down to the floor now would be too much of a match with all the rest of the memories now tearing at him - the kind of thing a scared child would do, hungry and longing for a comfort that he now loathed the very thought of. He clenched his teeth and willed himself to stay upright as he followed Sigewinne's exaggerated breaths.

Sigewinne's voice was quietly even. "I'm going to open and close my hands, can you open and close yours too?"

He could. He did.

"You don't have to be alone when these things happen," Sigewinne murmured. "Anyone can have nightmares, or be afraid. There's nothing shameful about it. It's part of being human. Your minds are as complicated as your bodies, and I don't understand all of your feelings and thoughts... but just like your bodies have scars that take time to heal, your minds are the same, and there's no more weakness about it than it's weak to take to bed when you're ill..."

He didn't remember the last time he'd let himself go to bed with an illness, either. Maybe Sigewinne needed a new metaphor. But listening to her steady voice and clenching and unclenching his fists had helped slow the racing of his heartbeat, and ease the clutch of panic around his ribs. The round-walled office had begun to seem real around him once more, all brass and gold and echos, the thrumming of the Fortress's machinery never quite beyond hearing. Slowly, Wriothesley straightened up, pushing his shoulders back.

"I think - I think I'll make myself some tea," he said, stiffly, around the lump in his throat. "Do you want some, too?"

"Of course!" said Sigewinne, her voice brightening up. "I think that would be perfect, Your Grace."

-

White tea with Bulle fruit, steeped as long as the little hourglass told, with two lumps of sugar, for him; Sigewinne wanted four, and salt as well, but there was no accounting for Melusine tastes after all. The record had almost finished its scratchy song, a hollow mimic no doubt of the musician who had once composed it. Wriothesley sighed, and found himself yawning.

He was safe. He wasn't alone anymore, or helpless. Whatever darkness awaited him in his dreams, they were dreams and nothing more, and he would survive them as he had survived everything else before.

And in the morning there would be more matters to tend to, and his Fortress to handle, and new inmates to welcome and old ones to counsel, and more contraband to search and papers to process - so he had better finish the tea soon, and get back to sleep, so that he would be ready to do his best in justice and in mercy both.

#whump #genshin whump #hurt comfort #emotional whump #panic attacks #whumptober day 17 #whumptober 2023 #might crosspost to a03 perhaps

[hello-eeveev]

How to Rest: Director's Commentary—Chapter 1

| Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 |

Hello and welcome to How to Rest Director’s Commentary! I’ve decided that I have so many thoughts that I cannot express in the end notes or replying to comments, so I must dissect my own fic here. And I wanted to take this opportunity to discuss the fic as a whole now that it's finally finished—my thought processes, stuff that got cut, and parts I really like, the way certain things relate. I love it so much and I just want to tell you all about it!!!

We’ll go chapter by chapter, so first up is chapter 1!

(spoiler warning for the entirety of How to Rest)

“Eve, what was your goal for this chapter?”

I mean, I’m half-kidding. It’s mostly sweet, but Essek and Caleb are both awkward people and dating is awkward, so I decided to lean into it and have fun :)

The sun was just the tiniest sliver on the horizon. Its light could not reach Essek from where he stood on the hill, but it set the river below and Feolinn just beyond ablaze with reds and golds.

I chose Feolinn for a few reasons: 1) that’s where the wine Essek brought to the Xhorhouse in episode 91 is from, 2) I think Feolinn is a pretty sounding word, and 3) the Menagerie Coast seems like such a romantic location (especially if you are avoiding the two other major governments on Wildemount)

Not more than ten seconds had passed when he felt a magical shift in the air around him. He discreetly checked his timepiece and smiled. Right on time. “Hallo, my friend,” came a warm, familiar voice from behind.

For the lols I decided to roll Caleb’s teleport, and he got a 32 and then a 96, so mishap for 17 damage and then on target. I don’t think this actually happened, but it’s funny to think about Caleb getting all dressed up for this date and showing up a little bit scuffed up because Teleport isn’t fully reliable.

Also, “my friend.” This is important to me and will be a recurring theme throughout these chapter commentaries.

Essek couldn’t pretend like reaching for Caleb’s hand was something other than what it was, and the vulnerability was simultaneously frightening and exhilarating. 

Something something Essek doesn’t know the rules for physical contact now that they are like… together. He barely knew the rules for physical contact before! Now Caleb knows that Essek has feelings involved with any physical contact and that’s really scary, especially if you’re not used to feeling those things, much less expressing them to another person. 

But Essek knows his feelings are reciprocated, so even though it’s still scary, it’s something scary they are doing together and thus it becomes rewarding and worthwhile.

Caleb appeared to be going through a similar mental battle, if the way he hesitantly raised his arms was any indication. But Caleb had always been braver than Essek, and he pulled him into a hug.  It was a brief embrace. Essek barely had time to return it before Caleb pulled away, only to cup Essek’s face in one hand and press lips to his cheek. Essek froze, and he felt heat rise in his face.  “Hi,” Caleb said. He dropped his hand to Essek’s shoulder, his cheeks flushed a bright red. “It is good to see you.”

They’re both so nervous and so awkward. Like blushing schoolboys. It’s adorable. 

But let’s be real. Caleb is the first person Essek has felt so strongly about, and not only is this Caleb’s first relationship since he was 17 and since his life uhhhh changed drastically, it’s also Caleb’s first relationship that is intentional in its development. Blumentrio was a flash fire and this has been a slow burn, and Caleb is navigating the difference. We’ll come back to this next chapter.

“I thought it would be a good idea to start building a professional wardrobe now if I am aiming to teach next fall.”

*Essek will remember that. 

I plan on going into where each part of the Chapter 6 outfit is from when I discuss that chapter, but I’ll say now that Essek got the idea from Caleb mentioning that he needed professor clothes and purchased the shirt from Feolinn pretty much the next day. 

Essek’s eyes flicked between the bear claw and Caleb, unsure if Caleb meant for him to take it or eat it from his hand. Essek considered both these options and quickly realized how very poorly either could go.

Local wizard capable of manipulating gravity and time gets stunlocked by his crush handing a pastry to him. More on this at 11. 

Really, what happens is that Essek is faced with the possibility of mimicking one of the popular romantic images and feeling unsure if that’s what’s expected of him, but also worrying that not participating would be seen as a rejection. You ever misread someone’s body language re: physical contact (i.e. going in for a hug when they weren’t, or the reverse) and then the situation becomes very awkward? Essek is trying to avoid that while also dealing with romantic awkwardness.

Essek was not keen on most fruit, but he did have a particular fondness for blackberries. 

I had intended to return to this in a later chapter where Essek would bring up the time Verin filled his book with jam, but unfortunately, that ended up getting cut. But one of the reasons Essek likes blackberries is because they remind him of Verin and his childhood.

But as the raspberries popped in between his teeth, Essek grimaced.  The sickly sweet and acidic flavor shot straight up his nose and ended in a dull ache between his eyes. It took every ounce of willpower not to give in to the childish impulse to spit it out.  […] “It is like eating a headache.”

In The Shadowhand Becomes a Baker I had to describe so many foods I dislike in a positive light. This was my chance to express exactly why I dislike raspberries :)

“I am not a very picky eater; that is not a luxury I was ever afforded. When your next meal is uncertain, you will eat whatever you can get your hands on.”

Caleb’s had to eat so many unsavory things—mostly while he was on the run, but also eating food that he didn’t like as a kid because that was all his family had—that he’s rather desensitized to food that he doesn’t like. It all kind of levels out into a neutral “I’d rather not, but hey it’s food, so it’s really not that bad.”

“But in this case…” Caleb continued, as if what he had just said wasn’t deeply concerning. He popped the rest of the tart into his mouth and grinned. “I just like raspberries.”

The heathen. But that’s okay, Essek is also a heathen.

Caleb fumbled around in the dark and eventually found a rock roughly the size of his palm, which, after a gesture and an incantation, shot off into the air and tumbled down the hill.

To change the transmuter’s stone’s buff, you need to cast a 1st level transmutation spell, so I scoured Caleb’s spell list for one that seemed the most appropriate/least inappropriate for the situation: Catapult. (His only other options for 1st levels were feather fall or expeditious retreat.)

“Ah, there we go,” he said, turning back to Essek with a smile. “I can see you much better now.” Essek blinked, not understanding what a flying rock had to do with seeing better. “Oh! Your transmuter’s stone,” he said as it clicked. “It can grant you darkvision, can it not? That will be useful for seeing the stars.” Caleb nodded. “That too.”

He’s fliiiirrrrtinnnng ehehehehe

I feel like panicked!Essek defaults to very logical thought processes (and I have written it as such). So he’s thinking about what the practical, material benefit is to Caleb using a first-level transmutation spell to switch his transmuter’s stone to darkvision, and the answer is fairly straightforward: they are stargazing, which one can do more effectively if they can see more stars more clearly. 

And this is true, but it’s only part of Caleb’s purpose here. The stars are great to look upon with fondness and admiration. But Essek is too. And in my interpretation of them, Caleb is more ready/willing/able to flirt (which isn’t saying much bc hi look at them) and definitely more likely to keep his wits about him in one-on-one, interpersonal situations (hello 16 charisma), which he can utilize to flatter Essek.  

(This isn’t to say that Essek is inept when it comes to navigating social situations, he’s just the reverse of Caleb: he’s better at a distance when there are lots of eyes on him, like an actor on a stage. They’ve got two different flavors of social anxiety.)

The end result was Essek rudely baring his teeth at Caleb and brushing his lip against Caleb’s thumb, despite all his best efforts. Essek pulled away quickly and covered his mouth while he chewed. Caleb just smiled at him.  “Your thoughts?” he asked. 

This leads us into the first instance of cut content! I like this deleted scene! I think it’s really funny! But it was cut because 1) it doesn’t match the vibes of the rest of the chapter, 2) the flirtation is far too forward and doesn’t match the feeling I wanted there to be between Essek and Caleb at this point, and the reason I haven’t shared it separately 3) I was worried people would find a more sexually suggestive undertone than I intended, would assume I had intended it, and comment/banter about it accordingly. Which is a hard boundary for me. Please don’t do that. At least not in my comments/notes. Thanks :)

With that disclaimer out of the way, I really do hope you enjoy:

Cut content “fangs”:

“I forgot you had fangs.” “Yes?” Essek said. “So do you?” “Not really. My eye teeth are so short compared to yours.” “And mine are short compared to a bugbear’s, but it is still the same kind of tooth and it serves roughly the same function.” “True enough,” Caleb conceded. “But in my experience, at least with how the word is used colloquially, humans do not have fangs. Tieflings and goblins have fangs, orcs and half-orcs have tusks, and humans just have slightly pointed teeth.” “Interesting. Is it just humans that have such a low opinion of their teeth? Or does everyone agree that human fangs are too minuscule to be worthy of the moniker?” “I don’t know. I don’t often find myself asking others’ opinions on my teeth.” “You said that you consider tieflings to have fangs, yes? Let’s ask Jester.” Caleb smirked at him.  Essek arched an eyebrow back at him and cast Sending without breaking eye contact. “Jester, would you consider Caleb to have fangs?” “Um… no? Not really. Human teeth are too short and blunt. Why do you ask?” She gasped, and dread pooled in Essek’s stomach. “Wait, are you interested in Caleb’s fangs? Have you been—” Essek buried his face in his hands, blushing so furiously that he was sure even Caleb would be able to see it in the dark. “Do I want to know?” Caleb chuckled.  Essek shook his head. “Only that there is at least one opinion in your favor.” [assume some time passes, more conversation is had, etc.] “Hey, Essek! You should know that Mama said humans are still good at kissing even though their teeth aren’t sharp! Okayiloveyouhavefunonyourdate!” The end was less of a sentence and more of a garbled string of noises that Essek could understand only because he had received so many Sendings just like that.  “Thank you, Jester,” he responded. “But it was an intellectual discussion, nothing more. Sorry to disappoint.” “Well…” Caleb said to the night sky.  Essek rolled his eyes and carried on with his response to Jester. “You were right about Menagerie Coast bear claws. They’re very good.” Caleb turned to face Essek with a rakish grin.  Essek simply raised his eyebrows, refusing to give Caleb the satisfaction of flustering him. “Was I wrong?” “Not exactly. I do find your fangs very charming, though, and I don’t think that can be classified as purely intellectual.”

It just makes me smile every time. We get some worldbuilding/cultural discussions, some banter, a Jester Sending, and flirting. Very fun little scene to write.

This kind of closeness—physical and emotional—was new. He had never known people so… forthright in their affections until the Mighty Nein, much less been trusted with the fragile parts of someone else. It was overwhelming to say the least. And yet, it filled a space in his soul that he hadn’t known was empty. There was warm kindness where before he had only known cool niceties, and the companionship Caleb offered warmed him in a way that none else had. It was unsettling at times, this thing between them—untrodden and raw and vulnerable—but it felt good. 

We’ve talked about Essek’s struggles with his own vulnerability, but having someone else be vulnerable with him is also a lot. It’s a huge responsibility, and one he’s never had before. And he cares and he doesn’t want to mess it up again. But the Mighty Nein and Caleb have been so good to him that he’s actually not too scared that he will. Which is also new! Ahhh!

Good to have someone see the foolish and terrible things his hands had done and still consider them worthy of being held.

I just really like this. It reminds me of the scene in Fullmetal Alchemist where Ed tells Winry that her hands weren’t made for killing. 

Obviously, the context and conclusion here are very different (Essek/Caleb is more Hawkeye/Mustang-coded, let’s be real), but it leads into one of the main thematic elements of shadowgast: that people who have done terrible things in their pasts can do better and they can find people who help them grow and learn. They don’t have to continue the violence and pain; they can be kind and gentle. 

I mean, really it’s just the “you were not born with venom in your veins” speech again. It just set out the path for how their relationship would develop. (It was also my oh moment for realizing the potential of shadowgast and that it could be a ship I vibe with.)

Episode 97, my beloved, my guiding light. 

Essek didn’t put faith in the gods, and he wasn’t sure if he believed in fate, but whatever it was that bound lives together, he was grateful his was entwined with Caleb’s. Glad that, in spite of everything that might have pushed them apart, they were here, in this moment, this tiniest of stitches in the fabric of space and time, and chose to be together.

I had heard Matt Mercer in several roles before ever getting into Critical Role, but the role that really made me a fan of him was Chrom from Fire Emblem: Awakening. Chrom is my actual real life husband and I love him more than anything. In Awakening, Chrom says a line to the player character that I’ve always loved: “If we are all bound by these invisible ties, I thank the gods it’s with you.”

This section is both an homage to and a slight twist on that line. Essek is not a gods-person and I imagine that dunamancy somewhat trivializes the concept of fate while also… idk making it tangible? So there’s probably a weird relationship to that there. 

Regardless, there were a million different ways that Essek and Caleb could not have wound up as close as they are, and even if fate had some involvement, their choices are ultimately what led them here. And isn’t that kind of beautiful? 

“Well,” Essek said as he tucked the blanket into the basket, then turned towards Caleb.  “Yes,” Caleb said with a nod, mouth pressed into a tight line.  “I suppose this is goodbye.” Essek smiled and hoped it didn’t look as awkward as it felt.  “I suppose it is.” Neither of them moved.

Ohhh the eternal struggle of recognizing that the social event has ended but there’s still something you want to say or do, but you don’t know how so you just kinda stand there. In this case, they both would like to kiss again, but they're not sure how to broach that again since there’s no longer that huge tension of having never kissed. And then there’s the fact that goodbyes are like, a thing, which makes it more intimidating. 

Which reminds me of this cut exchange:

“There don’t have to be rules.” “But there are still rules.” “There can be, if they are useful to you. If they are not”—he shrugged—“why bother?” Essek furrowed his brow. “Why does anyone bother with them then?” “I’m not really sure myself,” Caleb laughed. “But from my observation, it is social shorthand—a way of conveying intent and expectation indirectly.” “Ah, so it is just more politicking. Wonderful.”

This one goes out to all my fellow arospecs and/or neurodivergents out there! What’s a societal expectation? Why is it so important to follow? Why is this strange, uncomfortable ritual the price I must pay for companionship???

I am very in love with the wizards doing their own thing at their own time. It’s romantic and it’s not.

“You have a crumb of something, ah—here.” Caleb took Essek’s chin in one hand and brushed something from the corner of his mouth with his thumb. “There we are.”

Does Essek actually have a crumb on his mouth or is this a ploy to touch Essek’s face? If you’ve read Miss You Dearly, you may know that Caleb is not immune to telling a little white lie for love. But in this case it’s up to you. There isn’t a right answer because I think it’s all cute :)

#this is an open invitation to scream at/with me about how to rest #or any of my fics tbh #if there is anything you want me to comment on in particular just ask. i gotchu fam #long post #sorry not sorry for the length i couldn't think of a good place to split it #eve talks #eve’s writing #how to rest #how to rest director's commentary #chattering at birds #shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss

[withoutyouimsaskia]

Remember Me, Special Dreams

Part VII.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25

GIF: Originally posted by​ @imironstark​​

Summary: Self-insert. You're having trouble with recurring night terrors and Morpheus pays you a visit. (Title from the lyrics of Placebo’s Special Needs)

Warnings: language, angst, mentions of night terrors.

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: Hello there, hope you have had a nice weekend. Three chapters in one week! It might be the only thing that is keeping me sane with work and trying to sort out my new house. Long live creative refuges. Would love to hear what you think. Have a great day, Saskia

Sandman Masterlist

---------------

The hands wrapped round your throat constrict so much that you are truly convinced that you are going to die.

You are thrashing silently; there is no air left to scream with. 

Then, you begin to feel the unmistakable oblivion of dissociation.

Your body doesn't feel like it belongs to you. It is a dead weight while your brain is in free fall.

Shadows rush up around you and you wonder if this is this is your last moment on Earth.

The choke hold disappears.

You remain catatonic. Breaths are coming so fast yet provide so little oxygen. The deficiency scrambles your mind.

You can barely remember where you are.

You can't even use your sense of sight to confirm your location. Your eyes burn and blur with tears making it impossible to see.

You desperately try to recall what happened.

His face flashes in your prefrontal cortex.

Morpheus.

He had put you into a nightmare. One that had transformed into three, all running into one another. Keeping you trapped. You remember the themes; persecution, home invasion, drowning. Then the encounter with your ex.

And how they followed you from the lake side to literally trying to murder you in your bed.

Or at least that was how it had felt at the time until you somehow managed to break out of the parasomnia episode.

Safe in the knowledge that none of it had been real, your body and mind re-synchronise.

Your name is being called.

You open your eyes. Morpheus is sat on the mattress next to you like he had the previous night. He gazes down at you. He seems pleased with himself.

“I know what is happening to you now.”

His tone gives evidence to your prior observation.

You flinch away from him, backing away to the vacant side of the bed.

Mystification sits in his eyes. “I thought you would be pleased.”

“Pleased? After what you just put me through?”

His lack of regret riles you further.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? I feel like a fucking science experiment.” You point an angry index finger at him. “Actually, no. I feel like a torture victim.”

"I recognise that my methods could be construed as extreme however it did get the result that we wanted.”

“Well, next time, find another way to prove it instead of forcing someone through all that.”

You sit, chest still heaving from the adrenaline and anger.

He goes to say something but you cut him off in your rage.

“No. I’m not listening to anything else you have to say until I have a drink.”

You push yourself off the bed and grab an oversized jumper before storming from the room.

***

A steady stream of water vapour rises from the earthenware mug that you hold in your hands.

Morpheus stands as far away from you as he can in your small kitchen, a little pout on his face.

You haven’t stopped glaring at him since he followed you downstairs.

“When you said about having a drink, this was not what I had imagined.”

“I’m an adult who lives in the UK, Morpheus. This is what we do when things go to shit.”

You take a long gulp of the last of the decaffeinated tea and set the mug down.

"Right, lay it on me. What have you managed to ascertain?”

His expression is stern.

“The things that you have been seeing in the past week, they are not as a result of your lucidity, nor are they hallucinations. You have the ability to create temporary holes in the Dreaming and pull entities through.”

A flutter of alarm elevates your pulse.

“That sounds... serious.”

“It will be if the breaches become permanent. To be able to weaken the walls between the Dreaming and the Waking World, it poses great danger to both realms and their inhabitants.”

You’re gripping the edge of the worktop with both hands, dread filling you up from head to toe.

“They were right, I am a plague,” you speak quietly to yourself, remembering the words that your ex had spoken in the nightmare.

Morpheus is suddenly right beside you.

“You are not a plague, Y/N.”

You close your eyes in an attempt to hide your tears.

“But you just told me that I’m dangerous.”

He says your name in a gentle timbre but with a commanding undercurrent that forces you to look right at him.

He adopts a comforting tone.

“We will figure this out. Together. You have my word.”

The kindness in his deep blue eyes is so concentrated that you want to pull him into an embrace.

You instead opt for something less physical.

“Thank you,” you whisper as your tears overflow.

His hand twitches as if to reach out and take one of your own. He doesn’t quite make contact; you feel the ghost of a touch but nothing more.

Morpheus stays close to you as you cry and once your well starts to run dry, he takes a risk and asks a question.

“Who was the person at the end of the nightmare?”

Your face contorts. 

“Someone I hurt recently.”

“Are they the reason behind the anxiety you mentioned?”

“Yes.”

“May I ask what happened?”

You keep your eyes downcast as you recount the tale.

“They wanted to fast track things; buy a house, get married, start a family all within the next year. I started to feel pressured, trapped. I wasn’t ready for that level of commitment so I ended things.”

You take a deep breath in through your nose. “I feel so guilty.”

“You shouldn’t. Going along with it would have only caused more pain further down the line. There is nothing wrong with realising that your paths were diverging and acting on it.” 

“I broke their heart.”

“Time mends all things.”

You look directly at him then. The sincerity in his voice makes you wonder if he is speaking from experience.

For a moment, his eyes glisten with something that looks like tears.

And then he is speaking again and the quality melts away.

“I believe that we should discuss your sleeping arrangements.”

“Um, okay.”

“I wish for you to return to the Dreaming-”

You interrupt him, shaking your head vigorously. “Nope. Definitely not. I don’t ever want to sleep again. It would be irresponsible of me.  And even if I wanted to, I couldn’t because I don’t even feel tired right now.”

Your body betrays you and soon you are stifling a yawn with your hand.

“Shit.”

Morpheus smirks.

“I admire your caution but you did not allow me to finish: I would like you to be my companion for the remainder of the night.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

"You will be safe with me.”

“And what about the safety of your realm?”

“That is precisely why I want you by my side. Based on what I just witnessed, I would feel uneasy leaving you unattended. With me, I can protect you and step in should there be an incident.”

You are frowning.

He says your name. “Trust me.”

His coaxing works like a treat.

“Fine. But if anything happens, I’m blaming you.”

He smiles.

“You underestimate my power, Y/N.”

He takes a step towards the kitchen door way. “I will change that soon enough.”

-----------------------------------------

"A woman is a changeling. Always shifting shape. Just when you think you have it figured out. Something new begins to take."

Taglist: @pinkcyclewitch @layla2-49 @shoidy-cat @silverhart93 @boofy1998 @dotieeee    

#The Sandman #the sandman netflix #the sandman 2022 #The Sandman fic #the sandman imagine #the sandman x reader #sandman x reader #sandman #morpheus #morpheus x reader #morpheus/dream #morpheus/dream x reader #dream of the endless #dream of the endless x reader #dream x reader #the dreaming #the endless #tom sturridge #fanfiction #Fanfiction series #reader insert #slow burn #Spotify #saskia writes sandman

[winterswhumpblr]

When we were young

Hua Biao played by Neo Hou

One of the best drama’s I watched in 2022. The found family in this show is insane. Every single one of the main characters go through a lot, but I’ve only focused on Hua Biao.

Watch on Viki

01: classmates find out he was kicked from his old school, told he doesn’t belong at the school, arm bitten, in pain,

02: in a fight, wins, manipulated into fighting again, concern for him, hands treated at hospital {flashback: in a fight, bleeding hands} sad upbringing revealed,

03: pushed, almost falls into a nail in the wall, saved, fakes stomach ache, volunteers to take the punishment of his classmates, forced to run 100 laps, tired, sweaty, getting yelled at by principal, helps whole class cheat, gets caught, reprimanded,

04: pranked, panicked, explosion in his home, part of the roof is missing, cleaning up, asking his friend not to tell other people about it, sad, letting his grandma blame him,

05: sleeping, friend finds out secret, mentions of the wounds he’s collected from fixing the roof, falls through roof, sad, unable to buy hearing aids

06: concern for someone,

07: receives the punishment for something his friends did, covered in bruises, doesn’t want to remove his shirt during a basketball game, forcibly gets it removed, anxious, concern for him, teacher pokes bruise, makes up a fake illness as to why he has bruises in the first place, tells his friend the truth,

08: stumbling, exhausted, rushing, sweaty, gets to class late, forced to hold basin of water over head as punishment, rained on, faints, concern for him, dizzy, blurry vision, ears ringing, mentions of him having a slight fever, whining, scared of getting injection, tricked into to taking it <comedic>, concern for him, disoriented, saying the fever fogged his brain,

09: feeling lightheaded, hiding it, paler than usual, light headed, faints, concern for him, malnourished from barely eating and making one meal last multiple, concern for him, being fussed over, friends make him meals and put them in containers so he can eat at home, concern for someone, searching for his granny,

10: {continuation of last episode: search for granny, finds her, concern for someone}worried and anxious, headmaster finds out the truth about tutoring, upset, says he did it because he needs money, asks to be removed as class monitor,

11: love interests family feed him meals, tricked into eating more, separated from friends, concern for someone

12: showing off latest award to parents’ pictures, friends come over to help honour the parents on their anniversary, concern for someone, running, fighting someone, cuts hand, runs after criminal, helps police catch them,

13: jealous, threatened, distracted, sad, can’t find his grandma, worried, running around looking for her, found her, yelling, upset, protecting her, makes a deal, needs money, has three days to get a large sum of money, upset, sad

14: friends help him come up with the money, gives it to contractor, plan goes awry, protecting his friends, glass hits his forehead, teacher found them, yelled at, running away, hiding from security, sleeping in the classroom overnight,

15: nothing

16: worried about someone, sad, keeps hiding a gift he got the love interest, missed his timing multiple times, sad, pretending to sleep, dismissing love interest, wanting to be left alone,

17: helping a friend out, staying with them, getting food for them, trying to coerce them to eat, making sure they’re okay, staying with them, upset, lost his necklace, looking for it, relieved, mentions of what happened to his parents and the importance of his necklace, sleeping,

18: concern for someone, sad, finds out his granny has Alzheimer’s, crying, pretending he’s fine, sad

19: concern for someone, carrying granny on his back, running to the hospital, sad

20: Talks about what his life has been like, applies ointment to granny’s burn, concern for someone, running away, hiding,

21: granny forgets he told her where he was going, police called, scolded, concern for him, sad, concern for someone, concern for him, plan goes wrong, running away,

22: Itchy, tired, concern for someone, hiding his job, being followed, tired, out of breath, covered in dirt from his job, worried, frustrated, upset, confession to love interest, concern for him, exhausted, granny mistakes him for his father, pretends to be his father for her, sad, calming his granny down, friends find out about his job, help him clean, feet being treated, groaning, love interest finds out about his granny’s Alzheimer’s

23: friends help him do his job, let him keep the money, grateful, wants to buy a massage machine to stimulate his gran’s memory, sad, granny forgets him in front of love interest, mistakes him for his dad, emotional, concern for someone, rushing to the hospital, worried

24: looking visibly down, granny doesn’t recognize him, thunder storm, power goes off, calming grandma down, concerned, frantic, rushing to check on grandma, running in the rain to buy a flashlight, grandma doesn’t recognize him, wooden stick held against him, worried, sad, emotional, crying, being slapped repeatedly by grandma, crying, being told to leave his home, upset, walking alone in the rain, sitting alone getting drenched, upset, crying, yelling, being comforted by love interest, sobbing for his grandma, friends are there for him, friends help him with his grandma, hears grandma crying, comforting her, crying silently, says goodbye to his friends/love interest, chooses to not go to college and instead stay with his grandma and travel until she completely loses her memories, sobbing

#whump community #whumpblr #whump list #whumplist #asian whump list #neo hou #when we were young

[masterqwertster]

Maybe #17 with Deanna and Orym (maybe with a side of #8 if you're so inclined).

After last night's episode I'm a little obsessed with Deanna's dynamic with Team Issylra. Plus with Aabria drawing parallels between Deanna and Will being the ones to wait for their partners on the other side of the veil to send them back to the living world... I'd love to see these 2 have a heart-to-heart. ❤

8 "I’m so sorry you had to go through that." 17 "It seems like that really rattled you." Yeah, it's kind of a shame they didn't get the chance for some one-on-ones with the guest PCs (I would have loved a shovel talk to FRIDA and some Tired Robit Parent conversations. Fearne and Prism about being non-native to the plane they're currently on. More Deanna with Laudna and/or Ashton on being People Raised from the Dead to a Life in Shambles stuff), but the table was too full and guests can only stick around for so long.

"I'm sorry, but I can't help but ask: you were dead for 200 years? I didn't even know people could be brought back after that long," Orym says, turning to Deanna now seated beside him at the large table.

"Yeah," Deanna answers, shaky smile on her face. "I died. My husband kind of promised to bring me back, and he did after collecting all the resources to do it. Lots and lots of diamonds. A Dawnfather cleric powerful enough to do it. So, you know, it took him a while."

"He must love you very much," Orym comments. He certainly loved Will enough that if it could work, Orym would spend half his life trying to bring him back.

"I guess. I mean, he moved on with his life, got remarried and had a new family, while I was dead. By the time he brought me back, it was obligation more than anything. Barely even stuck around long enough to say, 'Hey! Welcome back!'"

"Oh." That's a tragedy if Orym's ever heard one. To be loved enough to receive such a promise and have it kept, yet it takes so long that you have to wonder why the promise was kept at all when they don't feel the love that initiated that promise. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can't imagine bringing someone back just to dump them like that."

"No, no. It wasn't like that. I encouraged him to live his life," Deanna tries to downplay it. But Orym can see the hurt beneath the surface.

"...Wait, you encouraged him?" Orym asks after a moment to process, confused.

"Yeah. See, Dustel, that's my ex-, I guess, husband, became an adventurer to get the money and stuff for my resurrection. So he did the adventurer thing where he dies for a little bit before someone brings him back in a minute or a few days. And I was waiting for him on the other side. Telling him I still loved him, but he still had a life to live. Eternity is a long time, so what's a few centuries, yeah? And it's so peaceful in death." There's something almost wistful in here eyes as she speaks of the afterlife.

And Orym thinks of Will. Of meeting his husband when he was briefly dead. How Will threw him back towards the light of life. The promise from Will to wait for the day Orym stayed dead. ...And the brief flickers of thought he's had about moving on.

"Do you resent that he moved on without you?" Orym asks with morbid curiosity.

"No. I meant it when I told him to live. That means finding joy and love among the pain and grief," Deanna answers, truth in her eyes. "I just don't appreciate being left to struggle alone, hundreds of years after my last memory, when he took the time to bring me back. Like, you want the people you love to find happiness, even if it's not necessarily with you. But also own up to your actions and their consequences! Come on! Couldn't just take me to your new home to get my feet under me. Or send me to our kids! That could work too!"

Orym nods, a little wide-eyed at her vehemence.

Though it's nice to hear that Will probably won't resent him for moving on. After all, he can't bring Will back as he reaches the end of his own life. So as long as their reunion in death has room for anyone Orym might eventually move on with, it should be okay. Probably.

"Sorry. I can get a little passionate," Deanna apologizes, sitting back down from her rant.

"No, you've got every reason to be upset," Orym says. "That's- It's horrible, that he wouldn't make room for you in his life again."

"Thank you. For caring," Deanna says after a moment, a small smile on her face.

"You're welcome."

#MQ&A #MQfic #critical role #orym of the air ashari #deanna leimert #cr spoilers #noticing trauma prompt