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ashsolar · 2 months

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favourite thingᯓ★ln4

chapter two, chapter three, chapter four, chapter five

Coming back to a place you once thought of as your home is never easy, what's even difficult is saying goodbyes to the things you once cherished. It's been years since your grandfather died and you know it's time to sell the one thing you had been dreading to sell in order to set yourself free.

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chapter one

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Goodbye's were never easy, you learnt that the hard way. The wind knocked you off your feet. Monaco was still the same, the richness in the air, the sweet enveloping smell of the coast. You hadn't been here in years. Your grandfather's death had hurt you a great deal. He was the one who raised you after your parents death. You had hoped to leave your traumas and problems in Monaco when you left at the ripe age of seventeen to pursue your dreams.

The estate was exactly the same as it was before, posh, proper, it screamed royalty just like the whole of Monaco. You opened the large antique black doors and walked into the place you once called home. You felt as if you were four again. Hugging your teddy bear to your chest, balling your eyes out after you heard the news about your parents private jet crashing. Your grandfather trying his level best to cheer you up, trying to make you laugh. Growing up he would try his level best to be your cheerleader you never had the heart to tell him that his jokes were terrible. He just wasn't the kind of person who would sacrifice everything for just a little girl who now seems to have the world in her hands. The house was empty, all the furniture covered with cream coloured sheets. Dust bunnies all over the place. Your grandfather would have hated to see the house like this. You ran your hands on the railing as you walked to your teenage bedroom. The room hitting you with a wave of nostalgia. The grand bed and the large balcony. You placed your suitcase in a corner. You went to the store room to take out fresh sheets, you'd be staying here for a while, so this needed to feel like home the way it did once. While taking out the sheets, you found the little black book that once was your whole entire life. You ran your hands through the pages of the album, laughing and giggling as you saw photos of you as a rebellious teenage girl, partying, going out with boys that was your whole life at a time but now modelling was your whole life. You wanted to say goodbye to this place in the most grand way possible. It was time to take an idea from that little black book and put it to use. You texted everyone you knew from your childhood.

Your sundress floated around in the warm air as you walked back from the little birthday shop across the street, bags in your hand filled with balloons, banners. You were super excited you had been waiting for a party to come around. Monaco had the best parties and this was going to be one of them.

The sky turned to dusk, and people started to enter the house. You greeted everyone with a smile on your face ready to get this party. The kitchen was filled with expensive booze. The music was loud everyone was in the centre of the living room, giggling and dancing. Couples in the corner making out, people throwing up in the bathroom. It was a typical high school rager just how you liked it. You joined people in the garage, playing beer pong with your high school friends, when you saw a familiar face walk in. It was your older brother's childhood best friend, Charles. Only he wasn't alone, next to him was a curly haired guy, with a small moustache. You waved to Charles as you gestured him to come over.

"Hey Y/N, how are you? I haven't seen you since forever, I heard about your grandfather how have you been doing".

You shot him a smile and engulfed him in a hug, "I am doing fine now, I see racing's been going well".

He let out a chuckle, "It's going".

"Who's your friend". You gestured to the handsome man standing next to Charles.

Charles wrapped an arm around the young man "Oh, yeah this is Lando"

You immediately put your hand forward to shake his hand. His warm hand enveloped your perfectly. It was a perfect fit.

"Hello, I am Lando, nice place you got here"

You told him your name and gave him a smile. When your phone started to ring, it was the young couple who was going to buy your grandfather's estate.

"I am sorry, I have to take this, have fun" You spoke and left the garage

What you didn't expect was the call to leave you in tears. Here you were sitting in your bathroom, crying and clutching your phone tightly in your hands. You quickly wiped your tears as you saw the same man come inside your bathroom, a red solo cup in hand.

"Oh, it's you again, I am sorry I thought no one was here". He spoke nervously looking at his shoes.

You chuckled "It is my home after all"

"Do you mind if I sit here"

"Yeah of course". He grabbed your vanity chair and sat on it. "So why are you crying".

"You saw that, you didn't hear anything right". You spoke suddenly becoming conscious of yourself.

He started to fidget with his fingers "No but do you want to talk about it". You raised your eyebrow at him.

He raised his hands in defence "Geez, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to".

"It's fine, it's just I used to live here with my grandfather after my parents died, now my grandfather's dead and I have come here all the way from New York to sell this house and the buyers who were originally going to buy this house backed out of the deal so now I am left with no buyers and no one who can continue to maintain this house".

His lips fell into a thin straight line, "There are so many people who would love to live here why don't you sell it to one of them".

You let out a sarcastic chuckle, "You don't get it this house is old, it's been here at the same spot in the same state, it's in top notch condition but every single person who wants to buy this house wants to rebuild it from scratch and my grandfather wouldn't like that, heck, he didn't even like me moving to New York".

You saw his face light up as he gave you the biggest smile you had ever experienced, "How about I buy it".

You burst into laughter at his proposition, you pointed a finger at him, "You want to buy this house"

He gave you a perplexed look, "Yeah it's a beautiful house". He pulled out his phone and started to type something, he shoved his phone in your face.

"Lando, Lando Norris" You spoke reading the long Wikipedia page he opened on himself. "So your an f1 driver like Cha, and you want to buy this house".

"Yes" He gave you a wink

"Fine, I'll sell you my house but you have to promise you won't try to rebuild it from scratch like those other dumbasses".

He nodded and linked your pinky finger together, "Promise, for how long are you here though"

"I was gonna be here for a month but now that I have a new buyer I might stay here for an extra month, stay in this house for a little more time before you move in here".

He looked at his phone and his eyes widened, "It's late very late, I'll come tomorrow to see the house then".

"Yeah, pleasure doing business with you" You shook his hand, "I should probably shoo these people away

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You woke up next morning in the comfort of your bed, stretching your arms you removed your silk sleeping mask and kept it on your nightstand. You walked towards your marble bathroom to get ready for the day. Putting on a cute little white dress, you got out of your bedroom heading downstairs to make some breakfast. This place was starting to feel like home again, but you knew you had to get back to New York, get back to your busy life, to the fashion weeks and flashing lights. Your phone lit up, it was a text message from an unknown number.

It's me Lando, I got your phone number from Charles, I am coming to see the house today, if that's okay with you?

You totally forgot about that, you were drunk out of your mind, you didn't think he was serious but it was worth a shot. He was pretty serious about buying your house. A knock made you come back to earth. You opened the door and were greeted by Lando, "Can I come in"

You opened the door widely, "Welcome to my humble abode".

His smile soon faded and his nose scrunched up, trying to pick up on the burning smell in the kitchen, "What's that smell?".

Oh shit. Your food was burning, you ran into the kitchen and immediately switched the stove off, you threw the burnt toast in the dustbin.

"Sorry, that was my breakfast".

"How about this, I see the house and you and I can go out and get food to finalise the deal".

You looked down at the floor shyly and nodded, "I'd love that".

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"And this is my bedroom, it's very girly I know but it'd make a perfect guest room, the view is amazing, the coastline, the warm air, the smell of the sea wafting in the air, what more could you ask for". You tried your best to makeup for the kitchen fiasco, worried that your carelessness might cause you the very great deal you had made.

Your blood ran cold when he chuckled, "Did you really think I would cancel our deal over that".

"Yeah"

He walked towards you, "I am serious about buying this house, it's beautiful just like it's owner".

"Is this your way of flirting with me".

He came closer to you, "Maybe".

You patted his chest, swatting him away playfully, "Nice try, we just met".

"Then get to know me".

You gave him a light smirk, "Maybe, after we finish the tour".

"This is the backyard, there's a huge pool over there, for sunbathing and pool parties, we have a small patch over there to grow vegetables and fruits, though it needs some water, ahh here's my favourite part of the backyard the gazebo, the backyard should be enough to knock your socks off along with the view of course". You spoke enthusiastically.

He clapped his hands together, "Your right this is a great investment, I am ready to buy this house right here right now".

You laughed loudly. Your laugh was like music to his ears, "Woah, easy there tiger there are some formalities first".

"Now that the tour is over how about that lunch".

You grabbed your bag from the table, "Fine, fine you got me".

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You and Lando, took a seat at a small café, surrounded by the serene beauty of Monaco. You could feel him staring at you, trying to hold his laugh, "Why are you dressed like that".

You fiddled with the flimsy menu held together in a small binder, "I thought you would understand, paparazzi, fans, I just don't want to get ambushed".

You admired this place, this little corner where you could come and eat, surrounded by flowers, greenery.

"Unlike you, I actually care about my fans, if anyone asks for a photo you give them what you want".

Taking off your designer sunglasses, you scoffed, "Clearly, your experience has been different". You ushered a waiter over to your table, "Umm, can I have the creamy pesto shrimp pasta and Lando what would you like to have".

The young Brit pointed his finger at some spot in the menu, "I'll have the cacio e pepe".

"So tell me more about yourself, your hobbies, ex-girlfriends". You wiggled your eyebrows amusingly

"Well with formula one I haven't found many hobbies, but I love streaming, I have a twitch account you should check it out, secondly, I have a couple ex-girlfriends".

"Aren't you a casanova".

"I am hardly a casanova, I am just too charming but enough about me and more about you, I want to know about your glamorous life in New York". He spoke taking a sip of his drink

You played around with the small paper straw in your pink lemonade, toying with the huge ice cubes, "It's not as thrilling as racing, but I get to wear pretty clothes, own many bags, get to travel for work a lot and the perks are just an addition but it isn't my favourite thing in the world".

His attention was now all on you his pasta untouched, and his eyes focused on you, "And what is this favourite thing of yours".

"It's quite funny, I don't know that myself".

You noticed how his face shifted, his lips curled into a frown. A guy like him only deserved to smile and looked his best when he was happy, "Then that's what we're going to find out till your here in Monaco".

"Aren't you busy with races". You questioned

He poked his cheek with his tongue giving you a tight lipped smile, "Oh, you can come to them too, cheer me on you know"

"That sounds fun".

"Trust me it is, so what do you want to do first".

You took a bite of your pasta, eyes widening slowly, "What, you mean you want to find my favourite thing now".

He gave his credit card to the young waitress, asking her to get him the cheque, "Yes now".

Here you were walking with 'The Lando Norris'. Holding gelato in your hand staring at the sun setting down."In all my years of living here I never appreciated the coastline until now".

You watched him take a huge bite of the pistachio ice cream in his hand, you knew he was regretting that bite by the look on his face, "Shit, this shit's cold".

"Were you even listening to me". You crossed your arms together forging a playful pout in order to guilt trip him.

"Something about the coastline".

"I guess you were listening".

You couldn't believe the man sitting next to you, eating his gelato and making jokes like a little child, the sun casting a warm glow on his face, enhancing his features you swore you had never seen a man as perfect as him before, "Come on, I'll take you home".

Riding in his Mclaren, your head out the window, your hair flowing in the air, you had never felt this alive before and it was all because of some guy who wanted to buy your house as a favour to you.

Now here he was standing in front of you, dropping you back home after an eventful day with that same droopy smile. There was tension but you couldn't act on it so you just smiled awkwardly, "I had fun today, same time tomorrow?"

"Heck yeah, I won't let you leave till we find that favourite thing of yours".

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#lando norris #lando norris f1 #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #lando norris smut #formula 1 #f1 #ln4 #f1 x oc

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snowmists · 2 years

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02 - Bolt

In the end everything flashes before her eyes. Faster than a cast of Thunder. Faster than the electricity that strikes her foe.

She feels blood drip over eyes, she hears Zenos stumble to the ethereal floor. But all she sees are memories. Some from long ago. Some from moments before.

There is the first memory of her mother scowling at her with coldness in her heart.

There is the scent of coal and earth that followed her father everywhere. It used to linger long after he had stepped away.

Her sole recollection of the calamity is the jagged hardwood floor under the kitchen table where hid. A vision of fire in the sky and her head thumping with pain before she blacked out.

The pests she had been sent to exterminate that first day in Ul’dah, running for their lives.

Thancred introducing himself with a smile and wink before leaving.

There was that pirate calling her every obscenity a woman never wants to hear.

Wind blowing through her as she stood on the open deck of an airship.

The simple comforts of salt water and a fishing rod.

The trickles of rain that would seep through an endless canopy.

Alphinaud speaking in political riddles. Alisaie scoffing.

The first time she heard the words “Warrior of Light”.

Bodies on the floor of the Waking Sands.

Voices disappearing into nothingness.

She remembered with an ache the scars engraving Haurchefant’s skin. The sweat on his brow. The sheets beneath her back.

And the silence that filled his childhood home.

Lahabrea’s laughter.

A wyrm and a machine.

Sacrifice after sacrifice.

The bitterness of defeat.

And the soft relief in Aymeric’s voice.

A reunion with a friend she thought forever impossible.

Then a world of lilac and light, and a twinned soul. The brother she had always wanted.

She saw Ryne and the unbearable chains tying them to the weight of entire stars.

She felt the pain of a man punished with eternity. And a past she would never truly remember – even as its magic coursed through her veins, bursting forth from the depths her soul.

Yet another old, old, old friend. Confusion in his voice. A heart longing to save ancient world.

Returning home to an empire of ashes.

The faces of allies old and new.

The timeless warmth of Venat’s love and faith.

The sorrow of a girl meant to find happiness beyond the stars.

Ophelia saw it all as the cold embraced her. Her life, she mused, was surely fulfilled. So she was ready to welcome the slumber. Yet the silence gave way to whispers of prayers.

And in those prayers, she felt the joy of journeys shared.

She felt the laughter that echoed against the walls of the Rising Stones. The stack of books Y’shtola urged her to read. Papalymo and Urianger’s colourful lessons on spellcasting and magical theory. Tataru sneaking up on her with a measuring tape. Krile buried in scrolls and research. Lyse offering to teach her how to throw a punch. Thancred hiding behind her to escape from women scorned. Alphinaud following Estinien like a shadow. Alisaie stealing the leftovers from G’raha’s plate.

A flood of memories of a life not yet ready to be extinguished. A flood of sensations as her senses began to return.

Wet tears falling onto her cheek. The twins’ ever familiar voices calling her name.

The tingle that ran down her spine as her eyes opened to behold her family huddled around her.

[[ao3]]

#ffxiv #ffxivwrite2022 #ffxivwrite #wol #fic

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arcadianmoonshadowjedi · 3 years

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Moving On...

Hey y’all! This is my first fanfic I wrote for the TOA fandom and I’m excited to finally share! Since I felt pretty unsatisfied and disappointed by the ending of ROTT, I felt the urge to write my own version rott fix it fic. This is a pretty bittersweet ending I came up with where Jim makes a different decision with the Kronisphere. I hope this provides you with closure and most importantly, enjoy!

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Heart Shattered, speechless, Jim just couldn't accept that Toby was gone. Tobes, his lifelong best friend since they were kids, gone. If it weren't for his sacrifice, Jim wouldn't have defeated Bellrec and saved the world. When he finally let go of Toby's hand and stood up, he was hugged tightly by Blinky, his surrogate father. He couldn't stop trembling as everyone around him cried. Claire ran to him for a comfort hug. He knew that no one was able to recover from everything they've been through. He was already missing Toby now.

"Master Jim," started Blinky as everyone looked at the green ball rolled towards them. "The Kronisphere" Jim wiped his tears and knelt down to pick it up.

The Kronisphere will make everything right.

Nari's soft voice rang in Jim's head as he figured out its purpose. Time. He could start all over and bring back everyone he loves. Toby, Strickler, Nari, Nomura. Not just them, but everyone he'd lost on his trollhunting journey, Merlin, Draal, Vendel. He noticed everyone around him staring at him waiting for him to make a decision.

"It's your choice, Master Jim," Blinky smiled at him. "Just know, you will always be my son. My magnificent son." Jim knew that behind that smile was a lot of wariness. Aja and Steve held hands tightly and lovingly as they looked on. Then there was Claire, the love of his life who stood across from him with teary eyes. They've been through so much together and he couldn't ask for a better soul mate.

The heroes of Arcadia have all been through so much together. They defeated Gum-Gums, Morgana, Morando, the Arcane Order. Jim turned to look at his fallen best friend and burst to tears once more. He and Toby went through so much in their trollhunting adventures and have had so many victories together leading up to this. Jim clenched the Kronisphere in his fist.

"No" he said as he tossed it. "We've made it this far. We've finally won! We can't just go back and let that all go," With Excalibur in his hand, he lifted it into the air and delivered the blow that would destroy the Kronisphere once and for all to prevent it from ever falling into the wrong hands.

Jim had never been this determined before despite all the pain he felt. "Toby and everyone we lost sacrificed their lives to save the world we live in. If we go all the way back, we not only throw that away, but we bring back everything we fought to destroy." Jim paused and took a deep breath. "We need to honor their memory by moving forward and rebuilding Arcadia for the better,"

He finally knelt down by his best friend and held him tightly in his arms one last time. "Goodbye Tobes," he whispered as tears fell from his eyes onto his friend's cheeks. "Thank you for everything buddy, you'll always be in my heart." Finally everyone knelt down and paid their respects to their fallen friend. Aaarrrgghh, finally recovering from his mental breakdown, approached and knelt down by Toby, grabbing his hand. "Goodbye... wingman,"

***

In the days to follow, on a dark, gloomy morning, the remaining trollhunters gathered along with the Arcadian citizens to mourn those they have lost along with the destruction of their home. All dressed in black and surrounded by rubble and debris, they held hands and sought to comfort one another.

After giving Toby the proper burial he deserved, Jim walked up to the podium and grabbed the mic, looking ahead at the grieving audience. Darci grieved her beloved T.P. as her father and Mary held her tight to comfort her. Nancy Domzalski wailed uncontrollably in Varvatos's giant arms. "I should've said goodbye to my Toby Pie when he went off to college," she sobbed harder as Varvatos stroked her gray hairs with his three fingers. "Your grandson fought with valor and honor. He had... a glorious death,"

Claire stood with Barbara who was grieving her fiancé and they held hands as they looked towards Jim, encouraging him before his speech. He cleared his throat and finally spoke.

"Tobias Domzalski was more than just my best friend and fellow Trollhunter, he was my brother. He's always been there for me since we were kids. He always supported me in all my adventures and I know for a fact I wouldn't be the trollhunter I am today if it weren't for him. I couldn't have asked for anyone else to find the amulet that day in the canals. He was with me from the start, and he will always be with me," Jim placed his hand over his heart and looked up to the sky, smiling with tears in his eyes. "Rest in peace Tobes. I'll always remember you,"

As Jim stepped away from the podium, a round of applause along with sniffles came from the audience. Everyone walked towards the pictures of Arcadia's fallen heroes and placed flowers and other things they've remembered them with.

Jim and Claire walked towards each other and reached out for a heartwarming hug.

"You did great up there," Claire whispered in his ear as she stroked his hair. He held her even tighter and buried his face in her shoulder. They looked at each other tearfully and lovingly as they held each other tight.

"I love you Claire, always and forever,"

"I love you too, Jim Lake,"

They held each other once again, not intending on letting go anytime soon.

***

In the years to come, the citizens of Arcadia all worked together to rebuild their beloved home while Blinky and Aaarrrgghh rebuilt Heartstone Trollmarket from the revived heartstone, inviting the trolls from Hoboken, the quagawumps, and from all around the world to come help them and live there. The citizens of Arcadia were eventually welcomed to Trollmarket as friends and trolls would always be welcomed to Arcadia to spend the night with their fellow humans.

As for the fallen heroes, they each had statues built in Arcadia. Despite the Hero's Forge always having previous Trollhunters chosen by Merlin, Toby had a statue of him built there by his wingman with his warhammer in his hand. To honor one of his valued customers, Stuart renamed his taco truck Toby D. Burritos. Strickler's portrait was hung at the school where everyone would see. The museum honored Nomura by showcasing troll, extraterrestrial, and magical history and promoting harmony. Last but not least, a vast, colorful garden was planted in the center of town in memory of Nari. Each and every one of their stories, along with those of everyone who fought for Arcadia and the world, would continue to be told for centuries to come.

The remaining heroes of Arcadia all went their separate ways, but not after a heartfelt goodbye. They each promised to stay in touch and to unite wherever the fight takes them. Douxie traveled to Hong Kong after receiving a spare Horngazel from Trollmarket to save Archie and Charlemagne, always keeping a flower pot with him. Steve moved to Akiridion-5 to be with Aja and to become a co-Earthen ambassador with his fellow Creepslayer Eli. Nancy was unable to stay in Arcadia any longer on her own, so she moved to Akiridion-5 to be with Varvatos, but always kept her Toby-Pie in her heart. Krel stayed in Arcadia and helped advance the technology available on Earth and promoted further education on extraterrestrial presence at the high school. Barbara continued to save lives in the hospital while also strengthening ties between humans and Trollkind. She never stopped wearing Walt's engagement ring and always made sure to keep his memory alive.

As for Jim and Claire, they eventually married and built their home in Arcadia. They had a girl, Deya Nuñez-Lake and a younger boy, Toby Nuñez-Lake. The two kids would never get bored of hearing their parents' trollhunting adventures and the story of Toby's heroism and sacrifice before bedtime. They were always eager to accompany their parents to Trollmarket and role play their parents' adventure with their favorite troll Aaarrrgghh. They also loved when Blinky would share trollkind's marvelous adventures from the start of time.

Arcadia had become an attraction site known worldwide for all the crazy magic and extraterrestrial activity that people would crave to visit in their lifetimes. It may have been at peace in recent times, but that doesn't mean there wouldn’t be any future threats to come. But the trollhunters battled life-threatening wars in the past, and would be ready for whatever comes their way.

~~~

Thank you so much for reading this! This definitely took a huge toll on me to write and I was pretty emotional but writing this helped me cope with my disappointment with the movie’s ending. I do plan to do another fix it but with a happier ending where Toby and Strickler are alive so stay tuned!

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wincestation · 3 years

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Wincest in the Pilot (aka my final paper)

2k of academic rambling. I got plenty of help and inspiration from this post and this blog review. Also huge thanks to @s2e11playthings for helping me find the latter. It is me! Essay-anon came out of the shadows!

The first interaction between the two brothers as adults occurs when Dean sneaks into Sam's apartment in the middle of the night. Sam fights the intruder before the latter pins him to the floor, making him realize it's his brother. The first words Dean tells him after not seeing him for two years are, "Easy, tiger." Dean's hand grabs Sam's neck and he smiles broadly at his little brother. As stated in the subsequent dialogue, the reason Dean appears this way is because he knows Sam would not have answered the phone if he had called. Why? the only reason Dean would call (which is also the reason he showed up) is that something happened to their father. Sam knows this, and maybe he didn't care if something really did happen to John. But what if John was the one who called? Maybe then Sam would answer, because he knows that this phone call has a different meaning: something happened to Dean.

Sam and Dean step outside to talk. Sam initially refuses to come with his brother, saying he is done with hunting, with the life that Dean and their father lead. Dean mocks Sam's aspiration for a normal life, perhaps as part of an attempt to persuade Sam to come with him, and return to the life they always shared together. After an argument between the two, involving emotional manipulations on both sides ("It wasn't easy, but it wasn't so bad", Dean dismisses Sam's words; "Do you think Mom would've wanted this for us?" Sam touches on a sensitive point), Dean understands that his brother is not about to give up, and finally reveals the real reason for his arrival:

Dean: I can't do this alone.

Sam: Yes, you can.

Dean: Well, I don't want to.

Dean completely contradicts everything he had said up to this point. In this sentence he expresses an emotional need for Sam, not a practical need. He could have sought out their father alone but chose not to; Maybe he saw the danger to his father's life as a good enough reason for Sam to come back to their lives again. Sam can not remain indifferent to this emotional vulnerability, and agrees to come with him - not because he cares what happens to their father, but because he too, like Dean, needs his brother and does not want to say goodbye to him again.

Sam agrees on one condition: he has an interview on Monday and he must get back on time. Dean agrees. Sam could have offered Dean to sleep on the couch and drive in the morning, or even go after the interview. But he does none of these things, and travels with him at that moment, in the middle of the night, without providing explanations to his girlfriend and without even kissing her goodbye. "At least tell me where you're going?" She calls after him as he leaves, with no answer. This urgency can be interpreted as a concern for the safety of Winchester Sr. but given the relationship between him and Sam, this is probably not the case. Why then is Sam in such a hurry to abandon the life he, allegedly, wants so much? In light of the dialogue between the two brothers the answer seems simple. He missed his brother, and now that he knows this feeling is mutual, he feels he has a good enough reason to leave the "normal" life behind - even if only for one weekend. This confirmation is the real reason he's arguing with his brother. The dialogue between them, according to this interpretation, is full of subtext:

Dean: I will not go until you come with me, or kick me out of your life forever.

Sam: If you want me to come, you need to tell me what I need to hear.

Dean: Don't make me say it out loud.

The two set out to find their father. After research, Sam and Dean discover that the monster of the week is a "woman in white" - a ghost that kills unfaithful men. Later in the episode, the ghost tries to attack Sam, who tells her she can't hurt him, because "I'm not unfaithful, I never was." She replies, "You will be." The hegemonic interpretation, presumably meant by the creators of the series, is that Sam is about to cheat on Jessica with the murderous ghost (with or without his consent). But Sam being targeted can be interpreted in another way. Is he going to betray his girlfriend by wanting to return to the life he shared with Dean and their father? Or even, can it be said that he did not betray her, but his brother, by leaving the family and trying to live a "normal" life with a woman?

The scene on the bridge, in which another confrontation takes place between Sam and Dean, can also be interpreted in two ways. Sam says, half in mockery and half in pity, "Mom is dead, and nothing will bring her back." Dean, in a fit of rage, grabs his brother and slams him at one of the bridge poles. "Don't you dare talk about her like that." This is of course one meaning of things. Another meaning could be, "Dean, I moved on, and nothing will bring me back." To this Dean responds in the only way he knows, "don't you dare not give up on me like that." Throughout the episode, and in this scene in particular, Dean repeatedly mocks Sam's choice to leave college - "Do you really think you're going to become a lawyer? Marry your girl?" - And this ridicule can stem from jealousy over the seemingly perfect and normal life that Sam managed to achieve, but at its core is another jealousy: Sam chose this life over a life with him.

The series hit screens in 2005. About two months after the premiere of the first episode, a blog review titled "Supermatural is Supergay" was published. The author described the series as follows:

It’s like the Hardy Boys, only gayer. I love the awkward sexual tension between the brothers. […] So Dean is the super control freak “top”. He has to be driving at all times. […] Sam rides in the passenger seat. He’s the soft spoken bottom boy, always staring out the window in this deep, dreamy state of mind. No idea what the hell he’s thinking about, but I suspect he is wondering where this relationship is going, and if Dean will ever say “I love you”.

Wait a minute… don��t get me wrong, I’m not talking about incest here. See, that's the backstory. They are not really brothers. They are secret lovers, hiding their dirty affair. So they pretend to be brothers so nobody questions why they are together 24/7, why they share a bed. […] Throughout the episodes, they give each other hot glances. It’s never part of the dialogue, they just look like they will rip each other’s clothes off at any given moment. […]

UPDATE: On last Tuesday's episode, "Bugs", they were mistaken for a gay couple and then pretended to be a gay couple in the next scene. See, I told you they are gay guys pretending to be brothers. You heard it here first.

Although the writer was wrong in his assumption - Sam and Dean are indeed brothers - he makes a claim that will receive many reinforcements from the fans. There is a certain tension between the two characters, a codependence bordering on desperation that often later in the show will cause them to take extreme steps to keep each other safe. The brothers' love borders on obsession, which caused many fans to agree with the blogger's opinion - just a week after the first episode was aired, the first online community dedicated to the romantic relationship between the two brothers already opened (sn_slash, or Supernatural Slash, "for all your brotherly needs"). It is difficult to say whether the homoerotic clues came from the creators and were picked up by the audience, or whether the audience interpreted the show as he wished and the creators decided to satisfy their desires, but throughout the series there is recognition of the two's special relationship: In "Bugs" [1x08], everyone is convinced they are a couple and they continue the pretense; In later seasons, the brothers discover that books are being written about their lives, and that many fans of these books are convinced they are a couple (in "The Real Ghostbusters" [5x09] in the Supernatural convention, there is a panel called "The Homoerotic Undertones in Supernatural"); And many of the characters in the series, even those who know about the two being brothers, describe their relationship as one of codependence, blind and absolute love, for which they often sacrifice the entire world ("Sam and Dean Winchester are psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other", [5x19] "The point of no return").

Did the creators not understand that this is the message they are transmitting? It is hard to believe that they were unanimous on the subject, especially in light of all the reflexive references they themselves have planted in the show. If so, what could be their reason for engaging in a relationship that is fundamentally unnatural, perverse and forbidden, socially and often legally? This can be explained with the help of another issue - that of the exclusion of LGBTQ+ relationships from the public sphere and the lack of legitimacy for their visibility. Supernatural hit the screens in 2005, a time that may not seem so long ago, but its gay visibility is still lacking, and in which there was still no legitimacy to present a proud couple in popular culture. Maybe, as the blogger suggested in his review, the creators genuinely wanted to create a series that would center around love between two men, but felt that the world was not ready to see that content explicitly. After all, it was only a few decades ago that homosexuality was also perceived as unnatural, perverse and forbidden. Maybe acknowledging that, the creators chose to turn Sam and Dean into brothers, as if to reassure the conservatives: of course they are not just two men who are together at any given moment, staring at each other longingly and willing to sacrifice the whole world just so they won't be left without each other. That could be interpreted as homosexuality - and beyond the harsh criticism, such TV series simply wouldn't survive (or at least, that is how the creators may have felt at the time). And if some of the fans understood the true meaning in which the creators wanted engage, well, that was not in their hands.

To sum up, it is difficult to argue that this relationship is characterized as purely platonic. Even if the creators did not intend to create such an impression already in the first episode, they were aware of this impression and included explicit references to this unusual relationship. Although only an analysis of the first episode was conducted here, throughout the entire series there are unequivocal statements that support this assumption (some of which I mentioned above, but most of which have been omitted). And perhaps there is no need for many words beyond those uttered by the brothers themselves, for the first time in the pilot, and for the last time in the finale ("Carry on" [15x20]), before they said goodbye to each other for the last time: "I can't do this alone. I don't want to."

#wincest #meta #sam x dean #pilot #i wish all my school papers could be about wincest #thanks for coming to my ted talk

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cienie-isengardu · 3 years

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Can you do headcanons on SubScorp (Kuai Liang / Hanzo Hasashi) and the evolution of their relationship, please? ♡

Sure, just please keep in mind that rock has a better romantic sense than I ever will. I’m not a shipper in general and SubScorp has a lot to overcome in my mind to even get close as friends but I will do my best! In advance, sorry for the long text and especially opening. My hand slipped but I needed to build the romantic headcanons on something.

Oh, and I kinda threw away the canon timeline here and there and went with how I would write their relationship (and story, I guess) if I was given the chance.

At the beginning, Hanzo and Kuai were bitter enemies and their hate for each other was the exact reason why Quan Chi kept them working together. The revenants were creatures of vivid emotions, twisted and corrupted by Netherrealm fire. So the stronger they hated, the mightier were their unnatural powers. But there was also a more sinister reason: Quan Chi kept them together, day after day, because it amused him to watch how Sub-Zero and Scorpion wanted to hurt each other but always were defenseless against his magic, always blindly obedient. To have two deadliest of enemies as slaves under his power was the best perk of necromancy.

When they were revenants though, Quan Chi’s cruel joke meant nothing. Kuai Liang had no free will, no remorse, only hate and pain to go on. Hanzo could - should - run away, but didn’t. He was broken in thousands of little ways and it was easier to follow orders, to not think than take responsibility for his own choices, to face the utterly devastating feeling of failure. It wasn't a good life - it wasn’t a life at all, but it was all they had.

After so many days turned into weeks turned into months, the constant presence of each other became the punishment and the salvation at once. They hated each other and this hate never truly left them for a moment, never let them feel peace of mind. They hated each other but it was an emotion that bonded them together, grounded in reality, made sense in an otherwise senseless world.

Hanzo and Kuai Liang got used to each other that the presence of mutual disdain was as normal part of their cursed life as breathing for a living person.

But then Quan Chi lost and suddenly they both were brought to life against their will. The first weeks were the worst. They were victims of dark magic, everyone was saying but none of them was a killer responsible for thousands of brutal deaths. Not like Hanzo and Kuai Liang and because of that, the burden of guilt was their alone. A burden they didn’t want to share among themselves, so they sought out different paths to find some solace.

For Hanzo, there was nothing to come back. The home of Shirai Ryu was destroyed, devastated beyond any measure. He still heard clearly Quan Chi’s voice in his head, how he failed his clan, how shamed his wife and child. Hanzo felt dirty and unworthy and utterly lost. The once mighty Scorpion was now a wreck, a directionless nomad.

For Kuai Liang, the home was Lin Kuei but it was taken by cyber monsters without souls. Once he returned to living, those monsters hunted him restlessly. For years he ran and hid and killed and killed and killed and killed until he was ready to face Sektor and reclaim what was once his. An honor and a purpose in life, so he could find Scorpion and kill him for brother’s death. But then he learned dark secrets of the clan and even darker truths that changed everything.

Because of that, Kuai Liang invited Hanzo to Lin Kuei Temple, offered peace and a new start, a way to atone for all crimes and sins they committed arm to arm during war. Above everything else, offered the truth that finally set them both free from their cruel past.

They did not keep in touch then though. They met sporadically, when Raiden asked his Champions to assist in this or that little crisis. To hunt the demons that somehow survived the war, to find oh so rare, mystic artifact or two, or do a quick job in the Outworld. They were assassins after all and Special Forces the heroes who shouldn’t dirty their hands.

During those meetings, Hanzo and Kuai Liang tried to stay as far as possible without making a fuss about it. During missions though there was no one who could safely separate them, and thus save them from painful memories of the past.

It was terrifying to Hanzo how much he missed Sub-Zero’s cold presence at his side, even if the so well known hate for Bi-Han’s death still hid beneath the cryomancer's skin like a furious, wild beast, always present, never forgiving, kept in check only by Lin Kuei’s iron will.

It was terrifying for Kuai Liang how well he still understood Scorpion’s body language even though the ninja tried so desperately to hide scars left by Quan Chi on his soul, all those unsaid horrors he experienced, all the doubts and pain and self-hatred that burned as hot as Netherrealm fire that twisted them both.

But those sporadic joint missions alone weren’t what helped them connect once and forever.

Ironically, it was the guilt that let one understand so well the other, to know when it was a good time for jab and when not to speak - not to see - raw pain that both so hard tried to bury under their respective masks, of cold politeness and hot devotion to the past. Surprisingly, it was also the arrogance of united governments that wanted to use them to expand Earthrealm’s control over wild Outworld yet did not see them as human beings. To be seen as a useful tool but never truly welcome wasn’t anything new for any of them. Kuai Liang and Hanzo were a relic of a dark past that should have died years ago yet were too stubborn to just yield and blindly follow orders even again. This burning desire for independence and search for their lost humanity built a common ground, the bridge between past hate and empathy.

This, and their shared disdain for Johnny’s never ending jokes. In the past, every time the Champions of Earthrealm met in the same place and Cage opened his mouth to talk Hollywood's weirdness, Hanzo got closer and closer to Kuai Liang. There was no word of recognition or permission - one look at each other and they understood perfectly it was either stay strong together and endure this senseless, annoying wave of words or do something regrettable.

And because they already had enough guilt to worry about, Sub-Zero and Scorpion simply stood arm to arm, like they did during war. Somehow that comforting familiarity grew up into something much stronger; not yet friendship but unity anyway. Time did not heal them but the mutual hate faded little by little, day after day until pain was nothing more than bitter ache they simply learned to live with.

Despite everything and everyone, Hanzo and Kuai Liang got to trust each other, to rely on a bond that was once a cruel Quan Chi’s joke.

Sub-Zero was the person that accompanied Hanzo to the Shirai-Ryu clan’s ruins, so he could finally bury dead ones left there forgotten by the world. Hanzo should have done that long ago, he knew, but the claw of fear clung to his heart for years and would not let it. The fear that Hanzo Hasashi never truly existed and he was a fraud, another lie begotten by Netherrealm. That there was no Harumi nor Satoshi and in the end he clinged so desperately to a nightmare that never was true to begin with. A nightmare for which he murdered the wrong person and brought someone else this maddening pain.

Seeing the ruins of home - the once so familiar bodies now just flesh spread out, glistening bones scattered everywhere, ripped and crushed, forgotten - was like dying again. Hanzo broke down and for the first time in a decade allowed himself to cry. Kuai Liang was there by his side, offering no wise words, nor comfort. He simply sat there, back to back with Hanzo, so he could know he wasn’t truly left alone this time yet quietly like a shadow to not disturb his grief. Hanzo would never forget this kindness for the rest of his life. He wouldn’t forget the sacrifice made that day by Sub-Zero to come to mortuary ruins, to bury another clan slaughtered without mercy in the name of madness and spite.

But with pain came also relief, that his memories were truly his and not another sweet lie whispered to his ear by a twisted sorcerer.

(Kuai Liang came here because it was the right thing to do. To pay respect and melt the dark past into a better future in which Shirai Ryu and Lin Kuei could be an ally, maybe even brothers in arms. He came for Hanzo, because no one did that for him, when he had countless bodies of comrades to bury after Sektor’s defeat and no one should be forced to do so alone. He came there also for himself, to see and be sure Bi-Han wasn’t part of the heartless crime. The hallmarks of a frontal attack, chaotic destruction and coarse, devoid of surgical precision violence were proof it wasn’t Bi-Han’s work. His brother would never be so sloppy, so random in his attack. He even told so Hanzo, in this moment of relief and social clumsiness and Scorpion just looked at him with the reddened eyes and did not burst in flame of anger, just… accepted the truth and Kuai Liang said no more about it.)

Scorpion was the person that stayed at Kuai Liang’s side when Frost betrayed her master and disappeared without a trace. He never liked the cryomancer girl - she reminded him too much of Sub-Zero who sought him for brother’s death. Young and brash, untamed, always snarling, spitting with venom in their face. But above everything else, Frost’s anger burned too hot like his own and he hated to look at her and to see himself.

Maybe losing such a precious student - an heir - was like losing a child. Hanzo understood this crushing feeling but there were no right words to offer. Even if he knew them, Sub-Zero did not want pity, did not want to talk. All he needed was a space to unleash fury and pain, the excess of emotions too large to bury them in the tomb of a cold heart. And so day after day, night after night, the ice and fire clashed over and over again until all muscles burned and the ache brought finally some peace. Not much, but enough to let Kuai Liang not dwell on his failure and focus on Grandmaster’s duties.

(There was something off about this whole situation but Hanzo couldn’t pick on what exactly. Kuai Liang had secrets he didn’t share, not yet and Hanzo respected his wishes, trusting Lin Kuei’s word. So far, Kuai Liang never had let him down. Scorpion trusted and it was terrifying on its own).

Those were the little steps into a path that brought them closer. It wasn't love for each other then, not even romantic infatuation, but love for the lost one, for family that was once but no longer. They understood this grief too well.

The first time Hanzo felt the pang of love, he and Kuai Liang were debating about the proper course of the upcoming mission. They were sitting in Hanzo’s room, with an open door leading to the Fire Garden. Then, without warning came spring rain and both looked out on instinct. The air was filled with the freshness of trees and flowers coming back to life; a freshness they breathed in greedily to wash out the taste of Netherrealm ash forever.

On that day, everything seemed to be in the right place. Just the two of them, sitting arm to arm delighted by the simplest things in life; a warm rain, nourishing garden, a steaming mug of tea between all of this. There was a peace Hanzo did not feel for ages and the sound of the rain and steady breath of his companion lulled him into half-sleep, half-awareness.

On that day, Hanzo wished to keep this moment forever.

The second time Hanzo felt something toward Kuai Liang, it was on Lin Kuei’s training ground. They spared, like they always did in their free or stressful time, but for whatever reason, Kuai Liang smiled at him, this soft, weirdly cocky smile he rarely shows in company and Hanzo looked at it for a few seconds too long before he understood how fast his heart beat, how warmness filled him - not the Netherrealm fire that burns through his muscles and bones, but warmth that he felt only around his wife and child. He wanted to kiss those lips, to feel its coldness on his own. It was wrong on so many levels and he did what he always does in times of overwhelming emotions he didn’t like. He disappeared into flames and ran the hell away from Sub-Zero’s smile. The burned holes to this day were the proof of his shameful panic.

Where did such obscene thoughts come from, he did not have an idea. But the guilt for having them even for a moment about Kuai Liang - any man, really - was too heavy, too suffocating to face Sub-Zero. So Hanzo avoided him for weeks.

And yet, he came back to Lin Kuei Temple. And again and again and again. Despite the burning shame, he sought out Kuai Liang, because only around him, the Netherrealm’s cursed fire cooled down enough to allow him to breathe.

So he danced, between disgrace and this weird feeling of happiness, of living again. Of seeking out the cryomancer and running away from horrific emotion he didn’t know how to get rid off, how to tame.

(Hanzo loved Harumi with all his heart. How could he love - desire - anyone else? And a man whose brother he unjustly killed?)

Kuai Liang decided to not discuss Scorpion’s emotional swings until Hanzo figured it out for himself what he truly wanted. There was no point to get involved into some sentimental drama if there was no hope for sensible agreement.

The Lin Kuei always desired a new generation of warriors, so sex wasn’t any taboo. Some warriors sought comfort in the arms of strange women and men, some between each other. Sex wasn’t forbidden but the emotions were. To feel loyalty or worse, love, to a fellow warrior instead of trusting the masters was a crime.

Kuai Liang did not feel any sudden pang of love toward Hanzo, nor any desire for physical contact. Romanticism never was part of any cryomancer’s nature. He missed his brother and Smoke, but year after year the pain of loss dulled enough to leave him with nothingness. Kuai Liang knew only this: somehow Scorpion became the only source of warmth that kept his heart from freezing completely.

Kuai Liang didn’t have a proper name for what twirled in his soul - a friendship or a love, how one could tell those apart? He wished his older brother or Smoke was there to tell him it was alright to like - care for - Hanzo, but both were dead and twisted into monsters. It was just him and his fragile, scarred heart to judge what was right and what was not. And hope Bi-Han would forgive him the weakness.

They find the balance that keeps both safe, warming the frozen heart and cooling down the neverending flame of anger. For a decade or so, it worked well.

But then Hanzo killed Quan Chi and ruined the chance to free revenants from sorcerer’s curse. The Champions of Earthrealm never liked Scorpion to begin with, now he was persona non grata. Rightly so. Imprisoned, he awaited their judgment. Scorpion could easily escape but chose not to - he was ready to face the consequences yet there was no court nor punishment. The Grandmaster of Lin Kuei came for him and made it clear to all representatives of the united governments and army that he will with Hanzo at his side, over their dead bodies if need be.

Twenty years was not enough time to forget what they together were capable of in fight. How dangerous and experienced murderers they were. No one dared to stop them when they left military base together.

Kuai Liang did not rely on words to show his feelings. Deeds always spoke more than any pretty speech. He was disappointed yet he still came for Hanzo. He saw Scorpion’s arrogance, egoism, breaking point and still came and that only made Hanzo love him more. For the first time, he did not feel shame or guilt for loving - and being loved - by another man.

Hanzo Hasashi’s choice almost brought destruction to the world yet somehow, this tragedy made them inseparable for good. It wasn’t always easy - they argued, for fun and for real and there were still rare days when it was only wise to stay away from each other. Like the day of Bi-Han’s unjust death and the lost chance to bring Harumi and Satoshi to life. They were beyond the primal hate yet some instincts were too strong to risk destroying what they built for themselves over the years.

Somehow through the years they changed from Sub-Zero and Scorpion to Grandmasters of their respective clans and from those to just Kuai Liang and Hanzo.

Hanzo wasn’t used to being so casually called by name but he liked the change. It was Sub-Zero’s voice, he suspected, that made him feel so attracted. At the same time, he felt honored when Kuai Liang told his birth - forbidden - name. He knew it already, for years, but it was different to know and be told, allowed, to use it freely.

Hanzo’s turbulent relationship with other Champions got worse once his student, Takeda started dating Jaqueline Briggs. The Champions distrusted and disliked him and he didn’t feel any need to reconcile with them. Kuai Liang was disappointed in him for treating the girl coldly but everytime asked why he still bothered to deal with Shirai Ruy Grandmaster, the answer was one and the same - he is my equal. For Hanzo it was the most beautiful and terrifying declaration.

(At the same time, everytime Hanzo heard someone accusing Sub-Zero of being cold, heartless, untouched by trauma, the anger burned him wholly. Who were they to judge, to mock Kuai Liang’s pain that hid so well under polite words and calmness? He did not care what people said about him, but would not stand any mockery against those he respected - loved - so much.)

Then of course another immortal being decided to screw up everything and messed up timelines. The younger, brash and mad version of Scorpion wasn’t something that Hanzo and Kuai Liang actually wanted to see, nor the repeat of Cyber Lin Kuei. Then Hanzo died and woke up, again trapped in Netherrealm. So he ran at the first chance, thinking more about Kuai Liang than about his own fears of burning alive in hell forever. The sight of Sub-Zero in hell should have alarmed him - and it did, for a moment, scare Hanzo that the other man died too which was an unbearable thought. But Kuai Liang was alive and so, so determined to bring him back home. If that wasn’t the loudest, the most tangible declaration of love, what else could it be?

And so, like twenty years ago, they fight side to side, like one body and soul. And destroyed, killed, tore apart demons and hellspawn, everything and everyone that stood in their way to freedom, to safety of Earthrealm’s boundaries. First time in ages, they could unleash their anger at those who hurt them, enslaved, and used. It felt so good, so right to be a storm of vengeful fury that frightened even the mighty Netherrealm. They were alive and together and nothing, no gods, titans or destiny, could stop them.

Kuai Liang and Hanzo did not talk much about their last visit in Netherrealm. What happened there was their and only their moment to relish, incomprehensible for bystanders. It was weird though, to come back to live and face his younger, stubborn self. Kuai Liang did not like this Scorpion much and to be honest, Hanzo did not like this version of himself too. It was Scorpion from the darkest time in their past, when only mutual hate connected them. At the same time, there was something amusing to see himself so awkward and uneasy everytime when Kuai Liang and older Hanzo sat so closely, relaxed and calm, like it was the normalest thing to do. When they acted like halves of the same soul.

Kuai Liang never was keen to show any romantic gestures but sometimes he took Hanzo’s hand to emphasize clearly what they were. Hanzo was always surprised by Sub-Zero’s openness and filled with joy, whereas his younger self was confused as hell. Hanzo suspected he would soon need to talk and explain to his younger self what he and Kuai Liang were to each other. Why they needed each other so much and how loving someone else other than Harumi was not dishonor. After all, love wasn’t sin nor weakness.

#mortal kombat #my replies #kuai liang #hanzo hasashi #sub zero #scorpion #my headcanons #long text #not sure if this is enough about romantic aspect of their relationship #and i will forever see kuai liang as asexual aromantic sorry not sorry at all #hanzo is emotional wreck #kuai is depressed and somehow they could work i guess?#thank you for ask!#i have more to say about the mk11 storyline but the text was already too long to bring bi han into the emotional life of his lil bro

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willownoir1112 · 3 years

Text

Hello beautiful people of Tumblr! Wyn here with day one of White Rose Week 2021 to break my silence! I hope everyone enjoys, and I'll see you tomorrow with day 2!

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Love Bites

Summer Rose vanished, and Ruby suffered.

All her life, all Ruby has ever wanted was to belong. She tries so hard to fit in, first with her older sister's friends. But, they all told her to go away. That she's a baby compared to them. "Why would I want to bring you too?" Yang would always declare. "You're still just a baby!" Her friends would laugh with her, call her names as well, and leave her behind just like Yang did.

Her sister's words hurt her, and destroyed any chance of them having a sisterly relationship.

She tried so hard to be a good daughter. But, her father spent more of his time worrying about his troops, his responsibilities, his duties to Goddess and Country. "One day you will understand, Ruby." He would always tell her. "One day, you'll have to make the same sacrifices for a family of your own." His words never changed, nor his actions. He would be gone constantly, leaving her and Yang alone for weeks or even months at a time, meaning she had to grow up far too quickly.

Her father's priorities hurt her and robbed her of her childhood.

She tried so hard to be a good student. But, subjects like english, history, anything really to do with reading simply didn't make sense to her. She could stare at the page of a book for hours and all she could see is a jumble of letters. Everyone called her simple, stupid, a waste of time. "Oh look, it's little Stupid Ruby!" Cardin Winchester would declare every day at school. He and his cronies would torment and belittle her, and once even cut her long hair off. She suffered in silence, her arms the only evidence of her inner pain. Arms she always kept covered even in the worst heat of summer.

Her peers hurt her with their words, with their actions, and made her withdraw further into herself.

She finally stopped being a good sibling. She shut her sister out of her life first, Yang never noticing that Ruby stayed closeted in her room constantly. She was the bright shiny sun of everyone else's lives, with her outgoing and boisterous personality. Everyone's but Ruby's. If Yang is the bright sun, then Ruby has become the darkest moon of the family, and she likes it that way now.

She finally stopped being a good daughter. She did her chores without complaint and without needing to be told, save late at night when her father would already be in bed or Yang too preoccupied with her latest significant other. He never noticed that his younger daughter dresses in nothing but blacks and reds, or that she never let her hair grow back longer than above her shoulders. The career he chose to continue to support his family had a long ago casualty, and Ruby keeps it that way.

She finally stopped being a good student. She kept going to school, despite all but failing in everything. She went through the motions, ignored everyone when they called her things like Queen of Darkness or Salem's heir, or even worse. She ignored the shoves, the bullying, everything done to her until they all finally grew bored of it and her. She was finally left alone to sit in the deepest corner of all her classes, doodling to pass the time until she could return to her room and her solitude.

But then Ms. Peach, the choir director, invited the secretly shy and lonely girl to her class one day and encouraged her to sing. From the moment she heard the piano play, her soul became exultant, and her voice rose in response. Even Principle Ozpin, who was walking by at that moment stopped and listened as the shy, moody, rather dark girl who kept to herself was in possession of a voice that could bring even him to tears. Peach was enthusiastic in teaching her how to read music, how to project her voice, how to truly appreciate her hidden talent for music.

But, Taiyang finally noticed when he was forced to retire. He noticed the true state of his family, and decided to take firm control. He destroyed her growing dreams when he declared she and Yang both were to join Beacon Military Academy to finish school. That they needed discipline and not freedom to thrive like he once did. That neither of his children will follow in his long disappeared wife's footsteps, and lack the discipline needed to succeed where she obviously failed.

He was furious when Glynda Goodwitch admitted her as Ruby, allowing her to keep that one small bit of freedom.

She suffered like never before at Beacon. She was admitted two years early as a favor to her father, and she hated it. Her hate translated itself into her becoming a powerful fighter with her chosen weapon, a red and black fifty caliber sniper scythe she named Crescent Rose, and soon where she was once either dereided or ignored, she was now feared. Even her own sister fears her now, and that makes her happy.

She is the Darkest Reaper of Vale, and she hates them all.

But one person did not fear her. One person saw past her pain, her grief for her denied life. Weiss was from Atlas, a mysterious, inclusive land far to the north, where they say even the Grimm do not tread. A land of dark magic, of creatures even fouler than the enemy of the world. A land even the demiurge Salem has forsaken. Weiss did not fear the Darkest Reaper, and took an odd delight in hearing the whispers about her, about them both.

She has her own secrets, secrets Ruby will know all too soon.

She cannot help but to feel an attraction to the white haired girl from the north. Her porcelain skin is always smooth and cool to the touch. Her brilliant blue eyes are like the clear blue skies she would once sit under with her long departed mother while they laugh and imagine whimsical beasts and imaginary places. Her long white hair moves like the finest of silk curtains as she walks from class to class, her nose turned up to their peers as if they are all beneath her. All except for her. She treats the Reaper with respect, with courtesy, and after a time, holds out a hand of friendship to her, one she takes willingly.

She finally has a friend, a real friend. Someone who cares for her, Ruby Rose.

But certain things stand out to her as well. The way she barely eats anything but meat, and even then almost bloody and nearly raw. The way she approaches every mock battle with the cunning of a predator on the hunt. The skill with which she wields her rapier, a dust revolver styled weapon she has named Myrtenaster, with near lethal intent even during the simplest of spars against anyone willing to challenge her. She is the only one who can stand against her, her own formidable rage and loathing a match for the heiress's feral cunning and ferocity.

But one late night, during a restless night they both secretly shared, a truth is told, and their lives are changed forever.

She herself couldn't sleep. It was the one thing she could always count on being able to do. It was her refuge from the reality of her world, and she retreated to it every chance she could. But tonight, she tosses and turns, she begs and pleads with the treacherous brain that won't stop thinking, and finally surrenders and gets dressed. Taking up her scythe, she easily steals away into the Emerald Forest, the guards ignoring her out of fear. She runs deeply into the darkened woods, no fear for the Grimm that hide in the shadows as well as whatever other creatures may dwell within.

She never realizes that a pair of blue eyes follow her, belonging to the single person who doesn't fear her. The only person who is beginning to secretly adore her.

She finally stops near the old temple to the Brother of Light, which has been long abandoned when he left Remnant to it's fate. Sitting down, she begins to cry deep tears of pain and sorrow. She hates her life now, she hates being taught to kill, to end the lives of others. She despises the fact that she is good at it. She never wanted this. All she ever wanted was to be a good sibling, a good daughter, a good student. All she ever wanted was to belong, to love a certain white haired girl and be loved in return.

She almost screams in terror when the great white furred head lays in her lap, with sad blue eyes that reflect her pain.

She stares at the great beast, marveling at the fact that a wolf has appeared here. One of the few things she has managed to remember from her poor studies is that the Grimm killed all the wolves when they first came to Vale. None were spared, and somehow she knows this one knows that. To her surprise, she begins to pet the wild creature, smiling softly at the way it's tail begins to wag as it whines. And then she begins to talk to it. She talks about her mother, her father, her sister, her life. She is soon sobbing in grief at the sadness of her life thus far, and is surprised to see tears in the white wolf's eyes as well.

But she forgot that sorrow is a feast for the Grimm, and they soon gather around her and the white wolf both.

She makes her decision. She throws her scythe to the ground and gives in completely to her sorrow. She is so tired. She is so tired of being turned into someone she wants nothing to do with. She's so tired of hoping people will finally love her instead of hate her or fear her. She is so tired of dreaming of a pair of blue eyes that will never look lovingly at her. She is ready, and the Grimm will feed well on her. But she doesn't expect the snarling, the sudden sounds of battle. Opening her silver eyes, they widen as she sees the once four legged wolf has vanished, a naked Weiss snarling in her rage as she wields Myrtenaster against the foul creatures.

"YOU KILLED THEM ALL!"

She stares at the rage filled young woman. She's never seen her fight with this much savagery, this much hate. Even in battles in which she is outclassed or outnumbered, she is still controlled. She uses superior tactics, the icy calm she is infamous for, and her obviously hidden rage to still rip victory from the jaws of defeat.

"ALL THE PACKS OF VALE ARE DEAD!"

She picks Crescent Rose back up. The white haired girl is beginning to frighten her, and she does not frighten easily. She watches in growing terror as an Alpha Beowolf appears, howling in challenge, Weiss's answering howl frightening her to her very soul. She watches as the white haired woman tosses her sword to the side and begins to growl as she grows. She listens to the popping of bone and sinew as fur begins to spring from her bare skin. She stares on in horror as the one friend she has ever made turns into…

A werewolf. A creature from Remnant's darkest stories has come to life before her, and is defending her while taking vengeance for the long dead wolves of Vale.

"You will not hurt my Ruby…"

She screams as Weiss leaps towards the Alpha, her fangs bared and her still hand shaped front paws slashing at the creature of darkness. The Alpha charges her as well, it's own jaws wide open to bite and tear at the white werewolf, it's own claws slashing at her unarmored and exposed flanks. She hears her friend's scream of pain as the Alpha strikes harder than she can, and causes more damage than she can possibly manage in return, and she finally leaps into action. Weiss is the first person to be her friend. She is the first person to treat her like a person. She is the first person she's allowed herself to start having feelings for in her short life.

She may be ready to die, but she will not let Weiss die for her own selfish desires.

Crescent Rose strikes the Beowolf quickly, breaking the Alpha and the werewolf apart as the Grimm leaps back to avoid the deathblow Ruby aims at it. But Ruby is enraged now. She sees the bright red blood upon the moonlit ground, and it adds to her fury. She hears the whimpers of the injured wolf, and it increases her rage. She roars in her righteous anger as her scythe becomes a blur, the Alpha soon howling in pain before Ruby's final blow comes in her scythe hooking around its neck before she pulls the trigger, decapitating the beast with one final roar of triumph. It takes her a moment to calm herself, a long moment in which she has forgotten her anger, her sorrow, her self loathing. And then she finally remembers Weiss. In a panic, she begins to look for her friend, desperate to ensure that she is safe.

It doesn't take her long to find her, and her scream of anguish can be heard back at Beacon.

Weiss has managed to get back to a small cave, her clothes as well as some supplies stacked neatly in the back. She herself is panting heavily as blood flows steadily from her injuries. But her tail thumps on the ground weakly as Ruby slides to the ground in front of her. She doesn't hesitate, but begins to treat the slashing wounds, bandaging them carefully while doing her best to ignore the pain filled shrieks from the badly injured werewolf.

"Oh Goddesses, I'm so sorry, Weiss. I'm so so sorry!" Is her litany as she keeps at her work, until the blood finally stops. Until the white wolf goes silent save for her panting.

The sun rises, then sets once more, but Ruby has yet to leave the white werewolf's side. Weiss has slept the entire time, but she has stayed awake. She is too scared to close her eyes, terrified that if she relaxes her vigil for even a moment, she will lose the most important person in her life. But her body's needs will not be denied, and she finally falls asleep, the large canine head still in her lap and her grip firm on Crescent Rose's handle.

She dreams of white fur and sky blue eyes. Of days spent watching the skies and laughing. Of feeling loved once more, and being confident in being able to return that love.

She moans as she feels the urgency of the lips on her own. Of the feeling of cold skin upon her own now bare skin. Of cold hands exploring her body and her own hands wandering across smooth, uninjured skin in return. She moans in longing as lips caress her skin with feather light kisses. As her own fingers discover places on the other willing body that bring moans of pleasure from a voice she has come to adore since beginning at Beacon.

But she moans loudly as teeth sink into her collarbone, a tender, almost loving bite from the woman she knows she loves deeply.

"Ruby…" Her voice is husky as she releases the love bite, full of longing and need. She can feel a certain heat against her leg that is foreign to the cold that the rest of her skin belies. She herself feels so hot, so needed. She has never felt like this before, and she wants more. She needs more. But her eyes widen as she catches her lover's hands as they grab at the hem of her panties, her face full of fear once more.

"Weiss… I…"

"I know, Ruby." Weiss smiles softly at the Reaper. "I know what you are. But I have wanted you for months now. Since I saw your strength for myself. Since I got to know the real you, and not your mask of anger and self loathing that you hide behind."

"Weiss…"

"Ruby, I am the last of my pack." The werewolf informs her sadly. "I came to Vale seeking the packs that once roamed here, hoping to join them and be safe." She sighs sadly, her blue eyes dimming. "I am beginning to fear I am the last of my kind."

She sits up and pulls the werewolf into her arms. She knows all the signs of sorrow, being well acquainted with them herself. "I… Weiss I'm damaged. Why would you want someone like me?"

Their eyes meet, quicksilver staring into sky blue. "Because I have been alone since I was a child. But you make me feel like I am home now." She cuddles deeper into the Reaper's arms. "I feel safe with you, and I know I can trust you with my secret."

Ruby takes a moment to think, to gather her thoughts while considering everything she has been told. But her thoughts always return to a pair of sky blue eyes she loves to look into. Coming to a decision, she lifts the werewolf's face by her chin with a single finger and kisses her deeply, while her free hand pulls her even closer.

This may be a mistake, but it is going to be the best one she ever makes.

The cavern is soon filled with their moans, their cries of pleasure, their whispered words of love, their need for one another. Their lovemaking is tender at times, frenzied at others, and intense throughout. Morning found them once again asleep, this time in each other's arms and in a tangle of limbs, a part of Ruby still inside the white werewolf, who smiles as she sleeps deeply. They wake upon that glorious morning and decide that Beacon has nothing left for them, and decide to seek their fortunes elsewhere. Someplace where no one knows either of them.

Someplace where their future children can grow up safely…

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Weiss declares her love for her, and for the werewolf, she will throw everything away for a future with her...

Ruby opens one silver eye, smiling at the blue eyed pup staring back at her eagerly as she whines. Sitting up, she yawns as she stretches, her mouth opening wide as her fangs gleam in the light of the morning sunlight. Bowing her head down low, she nuzzles the white haired silver eyed pup tenderly before the two of them leave the comforts of the small, modest home she and Weiss have built together. It has been a decade since she and the white werewolf left Vale far behind and traveled to Mistral. To their surprise, as they explored the deepest parts of the wilds of Anima, they encountered a village full of others like Weiss, led by a lioness named Pyrrha Nikos and her own mate, a human woman named Nora.

She had heard of Pyrrha, who had been reported killed in a massive battle at Haven Academy. A report fabricated by the woman herself so she too could escape with her own mate and their hard won freedom...

They had met so many others, who had fled the destruction of their own packs and prides, their own groups and hutches. They met Velvet, who was a kind and gentle soul of a wererabbit and her mate Coco, who was the heiress of Mistral's largest corporation and their secret benefactor. They met Blake, a panther who loves to read, and her chameleon mate Ilia. There had even been a tearful reunion between Weiss and her older sister Winter, who had also barely survived the destruction of their pack and had also fled. They even met a pair of birds who squabbled constantly, an overly violent Raven and her dusty, drunken Qrow of a brother.

But the biggest shock comes when they reach one small cabin in particular, where a lonely woman lives. A lonely woman long thought vanished by the young woman, but who in truth had been forced to leave by the man she thought loved her.

Ruby sobs as she rushes into her mother's arms, Summer Rose holding her tightly as she too weeps in joy. A mother and her daughter are reunited to their eternal joy, and Weiss cheers in her happiness for them both.

They talked late into the night, the white werewolf asleep in her mate's lap as mother and daughter catch themselves up on years of their lives. Summer is livid at how Ruby has been treated, how she has suffered for so long because of her absence. Ruby had been furious to discover that her mother had been driven off due to a twist of fate, as she had been bitten by another werewolf during a mission. She had been bitten to save her life, and had been punished for it.

Ruby made her own decision that same night, and smiled as her beloved sank her fangs into her skin in a love bite that would change her forever. She turned willingly, determined that Weiss, her sister, and her own mother will not be the last of their kind.

She quietly cheered her mother onward as she found the courage to move on with Raven, who adored her and treated her with kindness, respect, and love. She had happily held her baby sister when she was born two years later, Weiss still at her side and a smile on her own face to match the look of peace in her eyes. She and Weiss had themselves celebrated the birth of their twin pups a year later, naming them after both their mothers.

But the biggest surprise is still to come.

She still checks her scroll from time to time, she and Pyrrha both agreeing that they cannot remain ignorant of the outside world. There is still danger out there, both from the humans and faunus as well as the Grimm, and all while quietly offering safe haven to others like them, as well as their families. They as well as Raven and Nora are the defenders and leaders of their small community, and they take their responsibilities seriously. But Ruby had been surprised to find an email waiting for her one day, when she had travelled far to the south before turning it on, a feat she can accomplish with ease thanks to her semblance and now enhanced senses and superior stamina.

She never expected to hear from her sister ever again.

Downloading it, she returns to the village and her mate, asking her to read it for her. Weiss of course does so, having been the one who finally helped the Reaper figure out that she was not stupid like everyone in her life claimed, but struggled with severe dyslexia. She and Summer have been helping her learn to finally read and write, but it is a slow process, one she still finds herself getting frustrated with as well as embarrassed. Opening it, she soon stops to summon Summer, the two of them sobbing at the state of the brawler's life since they fled. Tai has placed his blame on his eldest for her disappearance, and she has suffered greatly for it. Her life is a disaster now, and she has already been in a failed marriage. She begs Ruby to at least reassure her that she is alive, that she is at least doing well, that her suffering is worth it if it means that the sister she long ignored is finally happy.

That they have traded places, and that her sister is finally whole in spirit and at peace.

Pyrrha does not hesitate to give her permission to bring Yang back. To allow them to reunite, so that she can see for herself that her wishes are indeed true, and that Ruby is happy and thriving. She goes and meets Yang at Mistral's airship port, where the two of them meet in a long overdue hug between sisters, and not the strangers they have been all their lives. They return together, where Yang is also overjoyed to be reunited with her own mother, Raven. Ruby herself nods in satisfaction that her sister is on her way to a peace of mind she now enjoys, and is grateful that she too settles into life in their village, calling it home as well.

Only she and Weiss bear witness to Winter sinking her fangs into Yang's flesh, the two of them falling in love in this place they too call home.

Summer and Luna play happily with the other children, who include their cousins and their aunt. They are gentle with their younger brother, and fiercely protective of their newborn sister. Ruby and Weiss have slowly become the leaders of their still growing safe haven, and lead both by excellent example as well as with hard learned wisdom and knowledge. They share a deep, beautiful commitment to one another that many envy, one forged in mutual understanding and undying love.

Weiss Schnee came into Ruby's life, and she has prospered...

#White Rose Week 2021 #white rose #ruby rose #weiss schnee #Day One #werewolf Weiss #Trans Ruby #here we go!

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activelytaemin · 3 years

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growing pains [lee taemin]

◇ lee taemin x fem! reader

angst-ish? | college!au | non-idol!au

warnings: mature language, unedited

2.0k April 8th, 2021

everything written in this story is completely FICTION. i personally do not believe that this story aligns with any of the idol’s real lives. ultimately, this story is not meant to intentionally defame any idol in any way.

chapter one [congratulations, but not really]

Dear {Y/N},

Congratulations! I am pleased to offer you admission to the University of California, Riverside for fall 2021.

the golden word congratulations lit up y/n’s eyes as she screamed falling into her brother’s arms. tears emerged from her eyes realizing that she would finally leave the colorful city of busan for the sunny shores of california; this was a cultural reset that guaranteed her an infinite amount of memories to come.

“i did it! jimin, i studied so hard”, she sobbed, grasping onto his slim frame. “it feels worth it like—“, she paused to wipe her tears with her sleeves, “all my late nights, immense sacrifices, and good grades have made this worth it.”

jimin rolled his eyes playfully and lightly pushing her off of him. “yeah, of course you made it in”, he scoffed jokingly, “we’re a family geniuses. you weren’t raised to be a dumbass.” he ruffled her hair before y/n grabbed his wrist.

“i guess that’s why both of my brothers are stuck here—“, y/n held his hand lovingly before sarcastically stabbing his back, “especially the one named park jimin, he didn’t get accepted into any ivy’s or safety’s. now he’s stuck going to an online university.” she released his hand before smiling to truly appreciate him, “but all jokes aside, i couldn’t have done this without you.”

her mind wandered to the thought of sunny california. the excitement built up in her like air filling a balloon. there were nerves trapped within because this sense of curiosity and control was foreign.

would there be snow?

what types of people would there be?

how perfect does my english have to sound?

there were several wonders because south korea was engrained to her memory. for the past eighteen years, korea was her home. there would be no more hanboks on seoullal, honorifics for friends, and (most importantly) her beloved family. without her family, she wanted to venture on the outside on her own. yet, there would always be a yearn for the feeling of home. the universe finally served her freedom on a platter. she could finally leave the nest to fly.

was she ready for it?

“y/n, don’t forget that you won’t be alone. taemin goes to riverside too”, jimin’s loud mouth interrupted y/n’s thoughts. soon enough, all her freedom had crashed and burned. she was caged once again.

her imagination was left to torment her. when she heard his name, a roaring fire lit up within her because of her discomfort; the fire will never go out.

scars can heal, but y/n’s are deep as ever. like an evergreen, scars can everlasting.

“taemin—i thought he was in new york?”, she questioned with a sense of worry. “i haven’t seen him since he graduated, and i don’t really like him at all. are you guys still friends? ”, an awkward laugh slipped out. she was quite uncomfortable at the mention of taemin, and her confession proved it all.

there was something about taemin that irked her soul. whether it was the memory of his being or thought of him physically, taemin would forever be an uncomfortable and undesirable person to talk about.

she remembers the day taemin walked in and out of her life.

it seemed so sudden.

he never wanted to cause pain, but he left her with the sharpness of his trauma. whatever was rooted in his cruel being had isolated her from her well being.

it was one thing for taemin to make y/n happy in secrecy. however, y/n had to suffer in secrecy once taemin had walked out because nobody knew the depth of her adoration for him.

jimin groaned before taking a deep breath to keep his composure. “one, taemin has been my best friend since 2015. two, he had to transfer because he had a change of mind—”, he let out a brief laugh, “well, that’s what he says—and three, it’s him or mom watching you.”

he was taken aback by her dislike for his friend. in his mind, he believed that y/n would be quite fond of a familiar face. however, he let it go believing it was just another “girl problem.”

little did he know, taemin was a disaster that filled y/n’’s life with hundreds problems.

jay-z once said, “i got 99 problems, but a bitch ain’t one.” for y/n, taemin was the 99 problems and she was “the bitch.”

the seriousness in jimin’s tone was irritating to y/n, almost strangle-worthy. he doesn’t understand her dislike for him. in fact, he has a “bromance” with taemin.

to others, taemin is a cool and collected young man that seemed shy to the world while being confident to his friends. jimin often saw his confident side, and that allowed jimin’s mind to feel as if taemin was heavenly.

to jimin, taemin had an aura about him that he couldn’t explain. it drew him in.

maybe it was because he was simply older than jimin. or, he could’ve just been build with extra charm.

as much as y/n didn’t like jimin’s praise for taemin, she didn’t want her mom babysitting her because she is simply too grown to have her around. sometimes mother’s can be suffocating; they can control many aspects of your life. it was a valid fear for y/n to have, and she was scared that jimin was going to follow in those footsteps.

jimin didn’t know any history between taemin and y/n. he doesn't know she constructs taemin to be evil because he took advantage of her innocence. sadly in her heart, she believes the thought of him is bad for her health because he hurt her.

taemin is a monster. an emotionless, compassionless man who does not know how to love.

but, everyone is naive because they don’t understand his evil like y/n does.

taemin does put up a front to the world, while y/n gets to see all of him at her own risk.

“i love mom, but you’re right”, she laughed in agreement. for jimin’s sake, y/n lied to him and herself, “i’ll take taemin any day.”

“yeah, but don’t forget to wear a mask. nobody wants covid in the states. you don’t have insurance”, jimin scoffed before y/n hit his back playfully.

jimin yelped in pain, “literally what the fuck? you’re a demon.”

september 20th, 2021

the plane to california was unbearably long and did not comfort her senses. although she did not mind wearing a mask, the uncertainty of her health on that flight kept her up the full thirteen hours. everyone was spaced out, but the enclosed space made her claustrophobic. normally, her senses are grounded. however, the pandemic blows everyone out of proportion and brings out a little bit of paranoia as well.

y/n was wearing a pink surgical mask to contrast with her plain wardrobe. before she left for california, she chose a long black coat, oversized uc riverside hoodie, and black jeans with her basic converse. she was trying to blend in with every other college freshman on move-in day.

a memory flew into her mind. while on the plane, the remembrance of what home felt like tugged at her. the pain of missing someone never settled inside of her; the feeling was foreign because the past experiences weren’t genuine. or maybe, she is uncomfortable with missing someone or something because of insecurity within.

before y/n left, her mom hugged her tightly before sending her off with tears; love can be unconditional when it comes to your family. on the other hand, y/n heard jimin laugh at his mom while giving a wave goodbye; hiding your worries with comedy makes you more worried at times. jimin was obviously good at hiding himself, but he made himself overly awkward this time.

when she knew she was saying goodbye, y/n didn’t feel anything because leaving was thought out to be normal. her mind didn't think her immigration would be sad. it was surprising to see her mother sad, but also the uncomfortable atmosphere jimin brought.

a ding from the intercom sounded off, “we will be beginning our decline to los angeles. the fastened seat belt sign is now on for your personal safety. please remain seated during this time”, the voice was followed by another ding via the intercom.

as the plane began its descent, y/n gripped one of her armrests while closing her eyes. sadly, the feeling of traveling alone was brand new, not in a bad way. perhaps, the butterflies her stomach arose because she was going to be around a familiar face that makes her uncomfortable.

y/n wishes to hide away the memories of the two of them as if their world's never collided. in her mind, lee taemin was just another problematic teenage memory to get rid of

in summer 2018, the air was different. it was heavy, and the atmosphere was lethargic. in the moment, y/n felt specifically upset as if the universe decided to rip out a significant amount of reality; the universe ripped something out, indeed.

lee taemin, long-term lover, graduated early behind her back. suddenly, he is getting up to leave for new york.

“i can’t believe you are leaving for college already”, her teeth bit her bottom lip before she felt his warmth encase her. tears were pouring down her face while creating a hurricane of bleeding makeup and anger. “you can’t keep doing this to me. you told me no more fucking secrets!”, she gripped onto his waist before silently crying into him.

“i think you knew that this was bound to happen”, taemin brought a hand to her face, caressing her cheek to wipe away the tears. “the only difference between you and i is that we’ll be boarders apart.”

“i didn’t know this was your plan. you just dropped this huge ass bomb on me today!”, she aggressively pulled his hand down to suddenly push him away. “taemin, this isn’t just about you. my love for you is real.”, she took a breath to let out a sarcastic laugh.

“i love you”, her heart ached saying those words. more tears came out of her eyes before she quietly croaked out with a general shakiness in her demeanor, “do you feel the same way at all?”

taemin shook his head, scoffing slightly. he grazed the back of her hand with his lips. no words were exchanged between them.

y/n was standing there confused, waiting for him to say something. even if the words were, "i don't love you."

however, his response never came, and his thoughts seemed distant. it was like taemin resisted y/n's desire and compassion for him.

the silence between the two filled the air. it finally hit her that his love was no longer apparent, and his place in their relationship became nonexistent.

just like that, taemin walked out the door breaking y/n’s heart as if it was glass. from her eyes, it truly didn’t feel as if he gave a damn to begin with.

it was unreal, but most definitely her reality.

in her mind she is screaming because taemin makes her feel alive in the worst way possible. he is unbearable to think about because he is a reminder of everything that has gone wrong with love.

he is only a distant memory that she wishes to burn.

fuck love.

but most importantly— fuck you, lee taemin.

#lee taemin #taemin x reader #shinee #shinee x reader #lee jinki #lee jinki x reader #kpop #kpop x reader #kim kibum #kim kibum x reader #choi minho #choi minho x reader #fanfic #ffs #kpop ff #super m #super m x reader #taemin #kpop writing

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planetchii · 3 years

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THE MEGA NICHIASA SHITPOSTING REPORT

NOW WITH THAT GREAT 2 WEEK LATE TASTE

Tropical Rouge, Culture Festival! Everyone Together, Let's Put Make-Up On Aozora!: The Tropical girls are getting ready for the best time of the year: The cultural festival. And in true Tropical Fashion, the girls decided to hold make-up classes for all visitors. But while planning just the right make-up to teach the novice children and grown adults, Laura gets suspicious that Minori is looking over to her ex, the Literature Club. I mean, when you up and disappear into the library, it's kinda hard to not think that you're looking for an escape route. But it's fine because they totally have enough people to help with the make-up classes. As long as Minori stays in the clubhouse.

That being said, distancing yourself from the rest of the group isn't very cool, Minori. Now you have a suspicious smug fish being all suspicious. And being a detective. And asking questions. A lot of questions. And she would ask even more questions if Manatsuu and the Smug Fish Laura's homeroom booth wasn't short-staffed because the kids with that shift decided to get an early head start on getting their Yaruki power stolen.

Meanwhile, the Lazy Trio has clocked into work, and Chongiri drew the short straw today. Guys, he just wants to cook. He wasn't trained for this. And he certainly wasn't trained for being kidnaped by a bunch of martial artists to run their grilled squid booth. Even if it's the most fun that he's had. At least right up until the point where he remembered he was still on the clock. At least everyone is busy.

I mean, really busy: Sango is still teaching people how to put on lipstick properly, and Asuka is trying to make sure no one cuts the line. The only one who the Broadcast Club could interview for the Tropical Club was Minori. Who turns out to be a secret master of the make-up arts.

The lesson the monster should have taken away was don't touch books. Books are supposed to bring people joy. I feel like I've heard that before. It also turns out that the reason Minori left the Literature Club is because her sempai quite literally read The Great Book and that story was already written, and therefore boring and too familiar and unoriginal. Again, I feel like I've heard this before. But that's okay because Minori's stronger with the Sword of Logos Tropical Club.

Reviving A Legend! The Pretty Cure's Power-Up Makeover!: After getting the results of a contest that the girls were not aware they were part of, The Tropical Club finds out that they came in second in the "hey, this booth is pretty cool" contest. Everyone is so excited that even Kururun even has to say something in front of the School newspaper. In other news, the girls suddenly develop a love of ventriloquism. Before telling Kururun to do their best impersonation of a statue.

Elsewhere, the Witch is waking up from a nightmare when her ex-girlfriend up and left her. If only her ex just didn't have the energy to leave... she probably should have given her ex's money back. But on the plus side, the Butler finally does something! He heads to the nearest watering hole and figures out a way to make polymer slime. While that is going on, Manatsuu and Laura are having a loving conversation over who is the most Tropicool.

After a nice long conversation, Manatsuu and Laura head to sleep, where Manatsuu meets the legendary Precure in a trippy and glowy dream aquarium. Manatsuu probably shouldn't overeat at dinner. Especially when she nearly drowns in her own dream.

But in the morning, the Girls start heading to school, only to have the Butler's slime experiments come up from the depths of the town's canals. So the girls transform and try to find the source of the Yaruki power, only to have the Aqua mirror 404 error on Cure La Mer. But while trying to find the source of the Yaraneda power, Cure Summer learns that Kururun is a good listener and has not moved since the beginning of the episode.

Meanwhile, the villains really still have no idea what their actual job description is. They're now working to form a union because they don't even know why they have to do all of this extra work. They're just a maid, doctor, and cook respectfully. They have also decided that union dues are due at the end of the month. Nuremi will collect.

Elsewhere, Cure Summer has picked up one (1) Kururun but ends up having to sacrifice herself to save the good sealo. And while Summer is now being farmed for Yaraneda power, Kururun becomes the new Cure Summer. All Hail Cure Kururun. Only to get hit with friendly fire via Cure Papaya's eye lasers. RIP Cure Kururun.

But with the power of Friendship (TM) and a new Mirror (buy our toy) Toei actually giving a good budget for an episode and some new barefoot dancing, The Butler's polymer slime experiment is defeated. This type of leadership should be the Student Council President. Revice, The Devil is Just a Bad Guy?!: It's time for a company review of last week's (lol), super conference where FENIX was super happy to show off their belt and their choice for a Rider in front of the whole world and one over-excited family. Since it didn't go too well, someone's getting demoted as punishment. RIP Hiromi's commandership. Perhaps he shouldn't have tried to be a hero, because now instead of a belt, he has a contract to become a magical girl I mean, have a deadman walking around. And now, the one that they wanted to be Revice in Daiji, has become a go-for to get his older brother to sign a contract to also become a magical girl I mean to work for FENIX, since he's not scared of the belt. Daiji can't win.

Meanwhile, in a golf competition, an older brother and younger brother are fighting over who has the better swinging motion, and who has the better golf knowledge. The fighting gets so... well, not intense, but belittling for the younger sibling, so much so that he gets fired as his older brother's caddy.

Don't work for family. (I say that as a younger sibling too.) But at least he was sold this spiffy new contract by a personified alcohol person. Alcohol for your soul. Salespeople are getting real pushy with their selling.

Meanwhile, back at the bathhouse of Happiness, Daiji has come back home to offer Ikki an offer he can't refuse.

Ikki promptly refuses it. Something about needing more bare butts in the tubs. And probably wouldn't want to trigger Vice's fight or fight harder instincts. But in the mists of the "Please, Ikki, there's a 300,000 yen signing bonus" fight to get Ikki to work for FENIX, the dad apparently found a live stream of the golf fight. Fight or Fight Harder instincts fully engaged, Vice possesses a bike to get to the action faster. Regular bikes are for squares; get your demon-powered bike now at your local bike store.

At the golf course, Ikki and Vice transform. And while Ikki was actually doing his not-his-job, Vice went off to do some selling. He'll be denied no fights. At least until the new VStamp pulls him back in to become an Eagle. After beating the older brother's contract deadman, Vice goes back to selling things. At least until Ikki undoes the transformation.

But good news, everyone! Mama is almost completely healed from almost being eaten unceremoniously. And soothes Ikki's fear and tells him that plenty of people have had 2 jobs before. I mean, look at Vice, selling things. He sold the younger golf brother on visiting the Deadmans and getting his own Deadman. That's some A+ selling.

Not the right selling, apparently, since Ikki is pissed. We're not supposed to be selling the Deadmans, we're supposed to be selling the bathhouse. I mean the bathhouse services. And as punishment, Ikki fights this new Deadman without transforming when Daiji notifies them of this new, totally out of the blue and not sold to, Deadman. I mean we can't have other lives in danger.

Tasked with either apologize and fight properly or not fight at all, Vice agrees not to sell shit like Deadmen again and finally gets that magical girl contract. After beating the second Deadman of the day, the two golf brothers make up as much as siblings are willing to, for the low price of their stamps.

Hostage Trouble, What To Do Brother?!: While hanging out at the best-awarded rave place in town, the Deadmen are trying to look for a way to revive their head of ravers, and peanut butter named villain Jif I mean Giff, with a new recruit, a walking hood. Meanwhile, while Mama is trying to support her middle child, in a surprise to all middle children everywhere, an eviction company came to evict the bathhouse. Ikki proudly states that they will never be evicted from that spot, despite the father's best attempts.

Elsewhere, Sakura and her best friend forever Ayaka are going shoe shopping, where Ayaka finds these really nice sparkly shoes. Since Ayaka was not invited to her little sister's photoshoot (instead opting to bring her mom), it was only fair to bring about the shopping therapy. But it turns out that one of them has a stalker following them. And that stalker has some Deadmen foot soldiers. He really has this thing for Ayaka. But Sakura has a cellphone, and calls for Ikki, since we're not doing hide the identity thing.

When Ikki gets to the scene of the crime, he tells them to run, only for the stalker to throw a Pokeball and catch Ayaka. He also demands Sakura, a woman who could probably kick his ass, or he'll kill off Ayaka. But live your dream dude. No kink-shaming here. But they agree because killing people is bad. But is then interrupted by the Kong Deadman. At least Daiji comes in at the right time with the 555 suitcase, now holding the Revice Driver.

While in the midst of a hard-fought battle, the Deadman runs to where the girls are kidnapped, and while chasing this Deadman, Revi and Vice run against another alcohol personified man who wants to make a bargain: The girls for the stamps. This leads the new Go-For Daiji to go back to the FENIX Inc., and retrieve the new stamps, and takes a look at the new P-Bandai belt. Daiji asks if it's possible for him to use that belt, only for George to do his best Ankh impersonation and laughed in his face.

In a sign of kindness, the stalker allows Ayaka to call her mom, who tells her to bug off, she's watching her daughter work the cameras. It sucks to know you're not the favorite.

Elsewhere, the trade is going down, in the following fight allows both of the stamps to go back to Ikki and Vice who pull off their best Den-O impersonation, and end the fight. And in the confusion, Sakura breaks out of her confinements and kicks the ass of the stalker, proving that if Toei doesn't make her a Rider they are missing an opportunity. Sucks that it seems the stalker isn't the actual contract holder.

Back at the Rave Central, The Hooded Intern has these new sparkly shoes.

Zenkaiger, No. 27-kai! A Great Voyage Through Seven Worlds!: After hearing that his mom is still alive and has escaped her deep sleep can on Tojitendo Kikaitopia, The Zenkaiger group starts looking for Kaito's mom Mitsuko. Despite their best efforts, including a massive Google search by Secchan, they still can't find her. This leads to the thought by Gaon that maybe she escaped to a whole other world.

Since it was a good thought, Kaito asks his boyfriend Vox if he can borrow his pirate ship to go look for her. He promises to fill it back up with gas. What does it take, diesel? Regular?

Vox doesn't allow this because Kaito has no driver's license. I mean, neither does Vox, but Flint does and Flint has the keys.

Meanwhile, Stacey hates his job and now is sent on a wild chase to find a woman he may or may not have let out for the sake of his adopted grandma and ice cream supplier. Truthfully, it wasn't entirely his fault. It's not like he attacked the warp gate like the others when he may or may not have left the sleeping pod open.

Back with the heroes, Vroom and Gaon stay behind because Toei's budget is running a little tight. Can't have all that CGI and stuff after spending all that money on the CGI for the other worlds. There are budget concerns to think about, you know. But the remaining heroes board the Pirate ship and Magine sets about looking for Mitsuko with her crystal ball. But because the Pirates have no time for proper seancing, they just start picking the closest worlds to our heroes' world and work from there. Mr. Su is everywhere, by the way.

And after going to worlds where they are called perverts, nearly arrested, and freeze to death, in that order, Stacey arrives with his entourage of other people looking to cash in on overtime and says that all of the other worlds are getting visited, because she didn't just go back home, and not because they shot themselves in the foot. Instead of searching for clues in the Ice World, the Zenkaigers and Twokaizers head off to the Mushroom Kingdom. They did not see any plumbers, however. But, they "find" "Mama" "Mitsune" before Stacey and his crew of merry overtime workers, and a fight breaks out. After beating this wave, the Pirate ship heads off to Earth, much to the relief of Stacey who just wants to make Yatsune happy. Only to be told to follow them. Leading to another battle on Ice World. Stacey better be getting paid time and a half for this. The Zenkaigers win again and head back to Earth. But after the fight, "Mitsuko" takes off the magical disguise to show that it was Me, Magine! (not actually this writer.) with the hope that the bait and switch will get Tojitendo Kikaitopia to leave the other worlds alone, and just focus on them.

No. 28-kai! Weekly Shonen Manga World of Great Illustrations!: Kaito finally got his learner's permit to drive interdimensional ships and is going on a drive with Flint and some of his friends for practice before his big test with the Experienced Driver Flint. Vox has decided that is not his scene and is hanging out at Colorful, on Kaito's dime.

As someone who loves discovery, Vroom has made a big one: Vox is an Otaku. Vox loves him some manga. This is cool since Vroom is also a Manga Sommelier. And so is today's world, Manga World. And Manga World is working on his new hit piece for not-Shonen Jump about the everyday lives of the People of Earth. The pages even move! Now with exclusive Zyuran and Magine chapters! This is a limited edition, so make sure to get yours soon.

Back at Kikaitopia, the entire Tojitendo is still not happy about losing the Eve to their Adam. It'll be fine guys. It's not like there's someone there who'd sell you guys out for one ice cream parfait or something. He's too busy trying to get intel and how to get the father out to really mess with his own dad.

Back at Colorful, the Comics and the Not-Comics are having a conference about how to deal with Manga World. Kaito thinks that because Manga is just "drawing" and "some words" and some "Ink" that anyone can be a Mangaka. That it's sooo easy. This may or may not piss off Vox (and this writer.) about how people think it's so easy to be a Mangaka and storms off. Probably to an art room to make his Manga.

So because plan A didn't work, they go with plan B and buy the latest edition of the most popular manga. And after unbinding the pages of the latest Tankobon of Kimetsu no Yaiba and laying them off on the floor, Manga World starts trying to collect and read the pages. Kaito, thinking he's a ninja tries to steal it while he's reading, only to be caught and sent to the Manga page world. That Limited Edition now has a Kaito Chapter. Only 50 made! (Use the Ninninger or Hurricaneger gear next time.)

But this gives just enough time for Vox to drop ALL of his doujinshi and Original Works onto the floor. The Manga World loves the fact that they're seeing this new work about a pirate in space, looted, in true fashion, from Mangatopia. So much so that Vox does what pirates do best and swipes the limited edition not-Shonen Jump.

Everyone transforms to fight, including the comic pages. And proceed to fight and win, with half of the time acting it out in comic pages. And all the people are freed from their comic pages. I hope you got that limited edition not-Shonen Jump before it was too late.

And while Vox used that manga to save his family, he'd like to get it back now. Too bad Yatsune has ordered that manga back to Mangatopia. If he doesn't tell, will he get to keep it?

#precure #pretty cure #tropical rouge precure #tropical rouge pretty cure #kamen rider #kamen rider revice #kikai sentai zenkaiger #zenkaiger #this is long #very long #shitposting is my passion

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rafecameron · 4 years

Text

Forever (Kol Mikaelson X Reader)

Request: @scandalousfemale Hi! Can I get a “how would Kol act if you were pregnant with his child?” I know he’s a vampire and can’t get you pregnant but maybe a witch does it as a “punishment” for him to suffer what it feels like to care for human life more idk

Summary: Basically what the request says, Kol gets revenge of course

Words: 5K

A/N: I’ve never really written anything for Kol so sorry if this sucks, also I haven’t proof read so there's probably spelling mistakes.

*GIF is mine*

You gingerly make your way over to Hayleys bedroom, walking slowly and almost hoping that you never make it to her door, and that if you do she isn’t in there. Unfortunately for you, you make it to her door and once you knock you hear her voice come from inside. You slowly push the door open, standing in the doorway and looking to where she was sat on the edge of her bed beside Elijah.

“Sorry to interrupt.” You play with the hem of your shirt as you look over at them, “Hayley can I talk to you for a minute?” You chew on your lower lip as you wait for a reply, avoiding making eye contact.

“Of course.” She nods with a concerned look on her face, shooting a look to Elijah to signal he should leave them alone.

Elijah quickly stands up, making his way to the door, you step to the side to allow him to pass, “Is everything okay?” He asks as he stops beside you, you quickly nod your head in reply and although he looks apprehensive he decides not to question you more and walks off.

You close the door behind you and pace the room in front of Hayley, your hand against your mouth as you chew at your nails nervously. Hayley is frowning up at you but waits until you’re ready to talk about whatever you had come to her for. Your arm wraps around your waist as you take a deep breath, stopping your pacing and finally turning to face your friend.

“I don’t know what to do, Hayley.” You finally speak, tears brimming in your eyes and threatening to fall down your cheeks at any moment.

“What’s the matter?” She quickly stands up and pulls you into a hug, “Has Kol done something?”

You shake your head, quickly rubbing at your eyes in hopes of stopping the tears before they even begin, “Not exactly.” You sigh, you move to sit on her bed and she follows suit, perching beside you with concern plastered across her face.

“You’re worrying me now Y/N. What’s wrong?” Hayley questions again, hands resting against her thighs.

“I’m pregnant.” You whisper out, the whole situation suddenly feeling real now that you had spoken the words out loud, you ignore the tears sliding down your cheeks now, the shock of what you just admitted weighing you down heavily.

Hayley’s mouth opens to speak but no words come out, she looks around the room searching for the right words before giving up and instead simply asking, “Are you sure?”

You nod your head, “Unfortunately.” You laugh bitterly, “I took four tests.”

“But…How is that possible?” Hayley places her hand on your shoulder, trying to catch your eyes but you refuse to look at her, “Is it Kol’s?”

“Of course it’s Kols! What do you take me for?” You snap before a sob racks through your body, you cover your face with your hands, mumbling a feeble apology to your friend for snapping.

“It’s okay.” Hayley wraps her arms around you and pulls you against her, “We’ll figure this out together, all of us. How did this even happen?”

“I have no idea.” You sniff, “I didn’t think this was possible.”

“I think I’m living proof that anything can happen.” Hayley sighs, rubbing circles just below the back of your neck as she held you close, “You really should tell Kol.”

You nod your head in agreement, “He’s going to be so mad.” You wipe at your face and pull away from Hayley’s grip, “I don’t think I’m ready to tell him just yet. We should tell Freya, maybe she can help us figure out how this even happened. I don’t want to go to Kol full of questions he wont know the answers to.”

Hayley nods her head in agreement and offers to go find her which you accept, not trusting your legs to carry your weight right now. You sit back against your friends headboard, pulling your knees to your chest, the tears had stopped falling but your face was still red and wet.

Before long Hayley returned with Freya in tow, concern filling her features as you guessed Hayley had not told her what was wrong just that she was needed urgently. So Freya sat in front of you and you explained yourself again, her reaction more collected than you expected it to be.

“Okay.” Freya nods her head, the hair she had tucked behind her ear falling into her face, “We can figure this out. I just need to think of how.” She stands up from the bed rubbing her hands against her thighs as she thinks for a moment, “Give me an hour, I think I know how we can get some answers.” And with that she hurries from the room and Hayley took her spot on the bed in front of you, reaching her hand out and rubbing your knee comfortingly.

“We’re going to figure this out. Everything’s going to be okay.” She promises, a soft smile on her face in hopes of making you feel a little less afraid, “If all else fails, I’ll always be here for you.”

The room stays silent while you wait for Freya’s return, Elijah pokes his head back around the door to ask if anything is needed but Hayley quickly shoo’s him away, you feel bad because he only wants to help but you know you can’t tell anyone else before speaking to Kol. He would be mortified and hurt to learn his whole family knew about this before he did.

It felt like a century had passed since Freya left the room, you couldn’t help but sit and watch the second hand tick around the clock at an agonisingly slow pace, every part of the room felt so far away but too close at the same time, you were freaking out on the inside but on the outside you sat calm and still, not an ounce of your inner franticness showing.

“Do you want something to drink?” Hayley finally breaks the silence with her question, you were certain her eyes hadn’t left you this entire time.

You shake your head, but she insists you need to drink and goes off to fetch you some water. Finally gathering yourself a little more you sit up and rub the tear stains from your face, you didn’t want to look like a mess when you eventually speak to Kol. You float over to Hayley’s dresser, locating her hairbrush and running it through your knotted strands, you don’t remember if you even brushed your hair this morning, probably not.

Hayley returns with the water, passing the glass over to you, “Drink it. All of it.” She commands with a warning look, you do as she instructs and down the glass in one, placing it on her dresser and offering her the slightest hint of a smile.

You let out a sigh of relief when Freya strolls back through the bedroom door, a smile on her face, “I’ve spoken with a friend, I think I know a spell that should give us an idea of how this happened.” She informs you.

“I don’t even want to know how this works, just do it.” You instruct. Freya guides you to the bed, laying you down in the middle of it.

“I need a little of your blood.” She smiles apologetically as she holds a knife out to you, you grimace but slice lightly at the palm of your hand, allowing Freya to take whatever she needed before wrapping your hand in a cloth. “Now, just close your eyes and relax, I don’t need you to do anything.”

You nod your head, relaxing against the sheets and letting out a shaky breath, you had never been apart of a spell before and weren’t sure if you liked the thought, but if it got you the answers you needed then it was a small sacrifice you were willing to make.

Freya begins chanting above you, the same words over and over, you could feel her and Hayley hovering around the side of the bed even without being able to see them. This continues for at least a minute before Freya finally stops chanting, you slowly peak your eyes up at her, waiting for her to clarify if she got an answer or not.

“It’s not much, but I felt something.” Freya nods, “There’s magic surrounding you, Y/N. I’m not sure who, but someone made this possible, they used a spell to allow Kol to get you pregnant. Do you know anyone who would do that?”

You sit up, eyebrows furrowing as you let the new information sink in, you shake your head, “I don’t really know anyone, Freya.” You mumble, being human you only really knew your boyfriends family and those he wanted you to meet, he was very protective and wouldn't allow anyone he didn’t trust near you.

“I’m sure this has more to do with Kol than it does Y/N, I’m afraid you’ve really just been caught up in the storm that is the Mikaelson family.” Hayley sighs, her hand rubbing your shoulder lightly.

You smile lightly, a small shrug lifting your shoulders, “I guess I couldn’t avoid it,” You laugh softly, “It could be worse I suppose, I’m not dead yet.”

You let out a huff of breath, throwing your legs off the side of the bed and standing up, “I think I need to talk to Kol.” You decide, rubbing your sweaty palms against your hips nervously, “Do you know where he is?”

Both girls shake their head causing you to sigh, “We’ll ask Elijah, and if he doesn’t know where he is we can send him to go find him.” Hayley pushes you towards the door softly.

You head downstairs, Hayley and Freya in tow, Elijah is sat at the table with Klaus, both caught in a mundane conversation about god knows what.

“Have either of you seen Kol?” Hayley announces your arrival with her question, the brothers looking up from their conversation.

“What do we look like, Kol’s babysitters?” Klaus asks, raising the glass in his hand in question.

“Klaus.” Freya warns, “We really need to talk to him. Do you have any idea where he is?”

Klaus sits up, placing his glass on the table, “Why? What has my brother done now?”

“We will find him.” Elijah shoots Klaus a pointed look as he stands up, “He can’t be too far.” He begins to head to the door, a sigh falling from Klaus’ lips as he begrudgingly follows his older brother.

“We need a leash for that boy.” You hear him grumbling on his way out.

You pull a chair out from the table and flop down into it, “Is it just me that’s really nervous?” You ask looking up to your friends as you run a shaky hand through your hair, “I have no idea how he’s going to react.”

“No one ever knows how Kol’s going to react.” Hayley sighs and pulls the chair out in front of you, “But we can be there when you tell him, if you want?”

You shake your head, “I appreciate it but I think it will be better just coming from me, there might be less of a chance he will go mad?” You pose it as a question because you know Hayley’s right, no one truly ever knows how Kol will react to something.

It didn’t take long from the boys to locate their brother, Kol hurries into the room, kneeling in front of where you’re sat and grabbing for your hands, “Is everything alright, Love?” He asks, a worried expression set on his features, “Elijah said it was an emergency.”

You frown over at Elijah, you hadn’t wanted them to completely freak him out, you look back down to your boyfriend trying to muster up a smile, “Everything’s fine, Kol.” You reassure him giving his hands a soft squeeze, “I just needed to talk to you.”

“Right, okay.” Kol nods his head, “What about?” his features soften a little as he lets the initial worry leave his body.

“Can we go somewhere a little more private?” You quirk your brow, looking up at the four extra people stood around the room watching.

“Of course.” Kol stands up, pulling you up by your hand and leading you from the dining room and up the stairs towards your shared bedroom, “You’re really worrying me Y/N, what’s the matter?”

You remain quiet until you’re both inside the bedroom, shutting the door behind you you turn to face him, letting out the breath you hadn’t realised you had been holding.

“First I need you to make me a promise, Kol.” You place your hands against his biceps and look up into his concerned eyes, “Promise me you wont get mad.”

“Get mad? Y/N, what’s happened?” Kol pushes, he reaches up and places his hands on top of yours.

You sigh, looking away from his face, you couldn’t think of a way to ease the conversation in so you decided to just say it, get it over and done with like ripping off a bandaid.

“I’m pregnant.” you say, eyes glued to the floor, you wait for him to reply but after a few seconds of quiet you peak up at him. Kol is stood, mouth slightly open as he stares at you intensely, you could see the cogs turning in his brain as he took the information in and processed it.

Finally Kol reacted, he drops your hands and takes a step back, his head moving from side to side, “That’s not possible.” He states.

“That’s what I thought, but Freya said-“ Kol cuts you off with a glare.

“You’ve been with someone else?” He accuses you, anger spreading across his face like a wave during a storm, “That’s the only explanation!”

You shake your head quickly, reaching for Kol but he pulls away, “I can’t believe you!”

“Kol, please!” You beg reaching for him again, “It’s not like that! Freya said it’s magic!” You grasp onto his arm but every time you make purchase on it he pulls away, stepping further and further back into the room away from you.

“No.” Kol states, refusing to listen to your explanations, “No, it can’t be.”

“Kol, please.” You grab his arm, this time he didn’t escape, “I’m telling the truth. Freya said it has something to do with magic, like a curse or something, I don’t even know I don’t fully understand.”

Kol falls down onto the edge of the bed, you follow suit and sit beside him, reaching for the hand on his knee and holding it tight, “Kol, do you believe me?”

Kol doesn’t answer, he’s staring intently at the floor in front of him, his lips moving slightly but no noise was coming from them, you squeeze his hand again and finally he looks up at you.

“Do you believe me?” You asks, your eyes watering up for what felt like the hundredth time today, you didn’t think you had any tears left in you but it seems you were wrong.

“You’re sure?” Kol asks, eyes boring into yours as if he were daring you to be lying to him.

You nod you head, “Four tests kind of sure.” you sigh. Kol turns away again, you want to say something but know you need to give him time to process, he would speak again when he’s ready.

It didn’t take Kol half as long to take in the information as it had yourself, he turns to you, eyes searching your face for a moment before he speaks, “I’m going to be a father?”

You give him a soft smile and nod, “So it seems. Your family is just full of miracle babies.”

Kol nods his head, the confusion furrowing his brows slowly lifting, instead a smile begins to form on his face, “A father…I don’t know how good I will be at that.” He laughs almost bitterly.

“You will be amazing.” You reach your hand up and rub it up and down his tense back.

“I really don’t think I will.” Kol looks over to you slowly, “I’m not ready for this. I’ve only just come to terms with letting you in, now there’s something else I could possibly loose?” he shakes his head, “I can’t do it, what would I do if anything ever happens to you or the baby? How could I live with myself?”

You shift positions, moving to straddle Kols lap and cup his face in your hands, “Listen to me,” You lean your forehead down against his, “You will be amazing.” You repeat yourself, “You will be kind, and caring and the most amazing father to our child. Nothing will ever happen to either of us.” You promise him.

“What if I can’t look after you?” Kol asks, closing his eyes as he rests his head softly against yours.

“You always look after me.” You whisper, “And if for some reason you aren’t there, Elijah will, or Klaus, or Hayley. I have a whole lot of people able to protect me.” You laugh softly.

Kol smiles up at you, nodding his head softly, “Promise me you wont get into any trouble?”

“When do I ever get into trouble?” You reply, to which Kol simply raises his eyebrow at you, “Alright, fine, I promise I wont get into any trouble, ever again.” You lean down and kiss his lips softly.

“We should celebrate, but first I want to find the bastard that cursed you.” He stands up with your legs still wrapped around him, carrying you out of the room and only putting you down once you reach the stairs.

Once downstairs Freya paces in front of you and Kol as you sit at the table, “What do you mean you can’t find who did this?” Kol asks in angry disbelief.

“I mean it’s not that simple.” Freya sighs, “I can sense the magic, but I don’t know who it came from. Are there any witches currently pissed off at you?”

Kols eyes widen and he nods his head slowly, “Yes. Yes there are many many witches currently pissed off at me.” He admits, “When aren’t there?”

“Yes, that was a stupid question.” Freya groans, rubbing her fingers through the short hair.

“Well, that’s that then.” Klaus stands up matter of factly, “We’ll just have to get rid of them all.”

Hayley rolls her eyes and Elijah shoots him a disdainful look, “Yes, good idea Niklaus, we’ll just kill all the witches Kol has ever wronged and infuriate the rest of them while we’re at it.”

“You say the rest of them like Kol hasn’t pissed off every witch in New Orleans.” Hayley groans.

“I am sat here you know.” Kol complains, “And I haven’t pissed off every witch in New Orleans, just a very large amount of them.”

“Look, this isn’t getting us anywhere.” Freya cuts in, “We need to narrow it down, has anything happened this week, Kol?” She turns to her brother.

Kol shrugs his shoulders, “I don’t know.” He groans letting his head drop back, “I don’t think I’ve fallen out with any witches this week, it’s only Wednesday.”

“How about,” Elijah stands up, smoothing his suit jacket down as he did, “Me and Niklaus take a trip to the cemetery and ask some questions?”

Klaus joins his brother standing up, “That seems to be our only option.” He agrees.

“Wait, I’m coming with you.” Kol makes to stand up but Klaus pushes him back down with his shoulder.

“I think you should stay here.” Klaus shoots him a warning look, nodding in your direction in a hinting manner.

Kol sighs but settles back into his chair, “We’ll take Rebekah with us.” Klaus announces as he and Elijah leave the room. You watch as they leave, sitting in the silent room for a moment before rising from your chair. Kol is instantly on his feet beside you, reaching out to take a hold of your arm.

“I’m just going to lay down.” You inform him, placing your hand gently over his, “Today is wearing me out.”

“I’ll come with you.” Kol states, not leaving room for you to argue even if you had wanted to.

Once back upstairs you lay down on the bed, leaving room next to you for Kol to occupy, he slides his arms around your waist and pulls you into his side, resting his face against the top of your head as you relax into him, feeling safe for the first time today wrapped in his strong arms.

“Do you think I’ll be a good mum?” You ask softly against his chest, closing your eyes when you feel his hand reach up to play with your hair.

“I think you’ll be the best mum to our child.” Kol presses a kiss to the top of your head, “You have nothing to worry about there, love.”

You slowly drift off to sleep in his arms, your dreams full of shouting and curses and anxiety, you toss and turn as you sleep and Kol keeps his arms pressed tight around you, doing his best to calm you while you slept. His mind still racing at the thought of being a father. He was impulsive and rash and he knew with a child in the picture he needed to change the way he was, he was scared he wouldn’t be able to change and would only cause more problems for you.

When you finally wake it is dark and Kol is nowhere to be seen, you stretch and push your hair out of your face, slowly crawling out of the bed and making your way across the room. Once you reach the hallway you hear raised voices, you tiptoe down the stairs, Elijah and Hayley come into view first, then Kol stood in the middle of everyone shouting and throwing his arms around in typical Kol fashion.

“Just let me fucking go there!” Kol shouts, squaring up to Klaus but his brother simply pushes him back.

“We can’t just barge in there and kill her in front of the whole coven, that will simply make a mess of things.” Elijah walks around the group of people slowly, deep in thought trying to come up with a plan, “We need some way to draw her out, make it look like an accident.”

“I don't care if it looks like an accident.” Kol scoffs, getting irritated with his families lack of proactiveness in getting the situation sorted, “I just want her dead.”

“We all do Kol.” Elijah turns to glare at him, “But do you not think we’re the first people they will suspect? What do you think they would do to Y/N and the baby if they find out we killed her?”

Kol glares back at Elijah but stays quiet, knowing he didn’t have an argument for that.

“Y/N.” Rebekah is the first to notice your arrival, the previous conversation coming to an abrupt end, “Are you feeling better?” She asks.

You nod your head, “Much.” You reply making your way through the group to Kol and taking his hand in yours, “You found some answers then?”

Klaus nods his head, “We did.” He shoots a deathly look to Kol, “It would seem Kol murdered the daughter of one of the coven leaders. My guess is she made you get pregnant so she could then do the same to him. We can’t let that happen.”

You hand instinctively moves to your stomach, wanting to protect the child that hadn’t even been born yet from harm, you had only found out this morning but now you couldn’t imagine your life without it, you couldn’t live with yourself if anything happened to it.

“That’s why you should let me go kill her!” Kol demands, hand squeezing yours protectively.

“No, Elijah’s right.” Rebekah steps forward, “We need to lure her out. We need someone she thinks she can trust, another witch.”

“Don’t look at me.” Freya holds her hands up and shakes her head, “I burned my bridges with that coven a long time ago.”

“No, Davina.” Rebekah announces.

You hear Klaus groan beside you, dropping his head back as he looks up at the ceiling, “Davina isn’t going to help this family.” He drawls out, “In case you forgot she kind of hates us.”

“No, she hates you.” Rebekah states, “And if she doesn’t want to help us we will just have to find a way to force her.”

“Me and Rebekah will go talk to her.” Hayley states.

“We’ll keep an eye on the witches.” Elijah decides, pulling Klaus along with him, “Make sure they’re not up to something else.”

Kol quickly makes to follow them, “I’m coming.” He leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead and promising to be back soon before he follows his brothers from the room.

“Well can’t I come and do something to help?” You ask with a sigh, “I feel useless just sat here.”

“Absolutely not.” Rebekah states with finality in her voice, “Kol would murder us if we took you with us and something happened and I’m not in the mood to get murdered today.”

You sigh but don’t bother arguing as you know she has a point, Kol would loose it if anything happened to you and even if nothing did happen to you he’d still loose it at you for putting yourself in a situation where something could of happened.

“I guess I’ll just sit around here then.” you watch Rebekah and Hayley leave the compound, leaving just yourself and Freya behind.

The night was long and unbearable. You weren’t tired thanks to your nap earlier so you couldn’t get to sleep and you were constantly checking your phone for the time, worrying more and more the later it got. You couldn’t find anything to occupy your mind, too busying thinking the worst, what if something happened to any of them? And it would all be because of you, you couldn’t live with that.

It wasn’t until the early hours of the morning that the group returned, most of them with specs of blood littering their clothes and faces, you run quickly towards them, throwing yourself into Kols arms hugging him tightly and never wanting to let go.

“What happened?” You asks hurriedly, “You’ve been gone for so long, I thought something had happened.”

You pull back from the hug, looking up into Kol’s eyes and swiping a piece of hair off of his face, “It doesn’t matter what happened, we’ve dealt with it.” He reaches up to stroke your cheek softly, “No one else is going to try to hurt you love, or the baby.”

You place your hand on top of Kols, running your finger over his knuckles lightly. He was always the same, he would never tell you the grisly details of things that he or his family had done, wanting to save you the trauma, but you trusted him and his family, if they say something has been sorted then you knew it had been.

“I was so worried.” You sigh, burying your head back into Kols chest and wrapping your arms around his waist. Kol’s arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you as close to him as he possibly could, resting his cheek against the top of your head he promises nothing will ever happen to him or you.

You make your way upstairs, climbing into the bed and waiting for Kol to be done in the shower and come to join you, your hand strokes at your stomach lightly, images of a baby and then a toddler running through your head. You knew life was going to change tremendously from now, but you were excited for it. If anyone had of asked if you and Kol wanted a baby both of you would have said no, not a chance, but now you couldn’t help but feel ecstatic about the thought of the little life growing inside of you, and you were equally excited to see Kol be a father, even with his doubts you knew he would be amazing, you could just tell.

“Lost in thought?” Kol asks as he appears at the side of the bed, he pulls the covers back and climbs in beside you.

“Just thinking about us.” You smile and roll onto your side, laying your head on the pillow beside his, “About our life.”

Kol reaches over, his hand running softly through your hair, “We’re in this together, I promise. And I have no doubts you will be amazing.”

You smile and lean over, pressing a soft kiss to his lips as your hand rests against his chest, “We both are.” You reassure him.

Kol just smiles in reply and pulls your head down onto his chest, fingers continuing to stroke through your strands, talking to you about nothing in particular so you could drift off to the sound of his voice. You feel his hand move from your hair and rest against your stomach, rubbing slow circles against it, you smile against his chest, finally falling asleep feeling safe and protected in his arms.

#kol mikaelson #kol mikaelson x reader #kol mikaelson imagine #kol mikaelson fic #kol mikaelson fluff #the originals #the originals imagine #the originals fic #my writing

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agusvedder · 3 years

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I DON’T CARE if this doesn’t get any notes. I need to vent.

My name is Agustina, I’m 27 years old. I’m a nonbinary, queer, latinx person, parent of a 4 year old, non-verbal authistic child. I suffer from depression and anxiety.

I’m 9 thousand kilometers away from the woman I love.

I’m not a victim. I am a minority. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

I started watching Supernatural in 2015, you know, being a stay-at-home parent, who dropped her career and her job to live the first years of their child, there wasn’t much I could do in my free time but to watch a show. I caught a few episodes of season 11 on tv and then I decided to start from zero. I always acknowledged how problematic it was in terms of representation, but always saw small threads of light filtering in the message it sent, recognizing how its writers were trying to shed a little light, creating a jenga tower of storylines and new characters, only to be thrown away by poor, useless deaths and the erasure of said characters.

Since my first run on season 1 I related to Dean. I saw myself on him. (I will never be as brave and cool as him tho, never ever, but his personality traits, some of his family issues, his self worth issues, his loneliness, his unaddressed childhood trauma, his growth in a circle of violence, his reticence to address his feelings until he explodes?... Yeah. There are days where my girlfriend makes fun of me saying “Ok Dean”). I kept looking up to Dean in his geekiness, in his way he always put his life on the line to protect the people he loves and put them always first… even in the supernatural side of the storyline, he still was profoundly human and abnegated to the people in his life. Also because I’m deeply in love with Castiel but that’s another subject. Thanks to this show, I’ve found people in my own country who now I recognize as my family beyond SPN, who helped me accept myself the way I am, who are always there for me. My found family, my chosen family. Because family don’t end in blood, because family cares about you, not only for what you can do for them, because that’s what all of us have in common, and why this show resonated as strongly as it did for us. That’s why we found each other and ourselves in the process, in a circle of love, support, non-judgement and willingness to find a family in ourselves when our own blood relatives ignored us, abused us, refused to recognize us. We’ve found love and family. I’ve found the woman with whom I wanna spend the rest of my life with because of this show.

That’s the power of this story. I know my small circle is not the only one who lived this, who continues to live it.

I can talk about this forever, but there’s something I wanna talk about specifically here. When the ending aired.. what I felt was… like a bucket of cold water was thrown over my head. You know when your parents come home, or call you and give you the devastating news that someone you love died? that exact feeling. The adrenaline, the heartbreak, the feeling of loss.

The whole season 15 and 15 years of storyline were completely overturned. The misogyny the writers tried so hard to erase, it was there again, in a faceless woman who was supposed to represent the person a lead chose to spend the rest of his life with, reduced to a lilac dress, a blurry face and a uterus. We never seen acknowledged the existence of Eileen Leahy, Sam Winchester’s romantic interest since season 11, his perfect partner whose disability wasn’t an obstacle for her to be a badass hunter. (BUT COVID!! <- No. Eileen Leahy appeared in two episodes this season without Shoshannah being on set: Last Holiday and Despair. If they wanted to include her, they would have. They didn’t because they don’t give a FUCK). Sam Winchester is an academic, a witch, a leader, a powerful hunter, a kind human being, and the ending that was given to him was living an unfulfilled life, dying at a ridiculous young age, having a son only to replace his dead brother? It was sad. Sammy deserved better. He always did.

My beloved Dean Winchester, who I love so deeply, who taught me a lot about myself, about life, love, family, about *ejem* VICIOUS CIRCLES and the power of breaking free from them, of learning to embrace one’s self, our real tastes, our real identity, to come out of a shadow of being reduced to someone’s caretaker instead of having an identity of our own, to spend life loving family the healthy amount.. well, he was killed in a ridiculous way, on a milk run of a hunt. After being eager and ready to kill himself so many times. After all he’s been through, after saying he’s good with who he is, after considering retirement, after standing up to his dad, saying he already has a family, ready to cut the “I’m Okay” bullshit, address his feelings, his trauma, don’t letting those define him. He deserved better. He always wanted a family, he always wanted to break free from the version of himself he was created to be, “daddy’s blunt little instrument” (For fuck’s sake, he even said it in the same show 10’ before dying, man. If we don’t keep living, the sacrifice the people who died for us did, was for nothing). Are you telling me this man really would refuse his brother to call an ambulance? Refused his brother to get the first aid kit even knowing it was more serious than his brother thought? He was ready to live. He CHOSE life, and at the end his choice was stripped away from him. He clearly was a bisexual man and they never explored it.

Cas. The misfit. The fish outside of the water. Ambiguous gender and sexuality. Finally makes a homosexual declaration of love after all he’s been through. After being brainwashed, used, suicidal, isolated. After telling Sam and Dean he loved them more than once, that they meant everything for him. After confessing he’s been in love with Dean since he pulled him out of hell…. Was erased from the story. Erased, literally. Two emotionless mentions aren’t enough for a 12 year old family member who pulled both brothers out of hell, who died for them more than once, who until 2 seasons ago he didn’t even feel like he belonged there ‘cause he was never told he was loved. No one ever told him “I love you” back. Not Jack, not Sam, not Dean, not Mary. No one. Ever. And still, he died for love. And with his death, he was erased from the finale, being that the first finale Castiel wasn’t in since his appearance on the show. He deserved better.

All roads lead to Rome and you know what we got at the end of that road? a bottomless pit of NOTHING. The building up towards a different end isn’t just in s15. It’s been there for years and years. And if you watch the show, you see it at plain sight.

Sam Winchester hurried to die to reunite with his brother in heaven EVEN WHEN HE SPENT 30 MORE YEARS WITH A WIFE AND A KID he only wanted to die to go back to his brother? it’s insane, it’s ridiculous. That’s not what the show has been about for seasons now. SEASONS. The road was paved towards a healthy brotherly bond, each brother living their future the way they wanted, finally breaking free from the curse John dropped on Dean that Sam’s destiny was in his hands. No no. What was that? Did it ever happen? Was it a fever dream? They really destroyed everything in 38 minutes of the finale?

Stupid.

Representation is important, stories are important. They change lives. You know how it changed mine? After I saw Jonathan Van Ness coming out as non-binary, I started to realize how I never called myself "a woman, a girl" or anything like that, how my "female presenting" aesthetic changes drastically depending on how I feel when I wake up how I always called myself a "person", no gender involved. I realized I was a non-binary person even after becoming a parent. Thanks to Jonathan Van Ness. Thanks to seeing a person like her being unapologetically herself.

Representation matters.

It matters.

It helped my mom understand me when I was 13 and had a girlfriend. It helped my dad educate himself about trans identities. It helped my sister understand about her demisexuality. It helps break circles of ignorance and stereotypes. It helps people process what these characters wanna tell, and realize they're human beings above it all. We suffer, we laugh, we grieve. We love. We exist.

Supernatural missed a chance to be a historical show in terms of representation. And it breaks my heart. I cant believe they decided to erase Dean's sexuality, to erase Castiel after saying loud and proud he's in love with a man, to erase Eileen whose disability only was a disadvantage when they KILLED HER in the most ableistic way in s11, to never show Charlie and her girlfriend again, that they decided to make God bisexual AND a villain, thay they decided to turn the only regular non-binary character of color into the villain too (Billie).

I'm still grieving.

This is why "a stupid show" is so important for me, and for lot of people like me. Cause representation can change lives. Stories can change lives. It certainly changed mine, and I'm not the only one.

Don't let anyone tell you you're just a butthurt fan because you're suffering this ending. Every one of us have a story and this is mine. All of us are valid, our feelings are valid. And we'll get through this eventually

#SPN ending #personal experience #castiel #dean winchester #supernatural #sam winchester #Long post #sorry

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ireadyabooks · 3 years

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Books to Read in 2021

It’s a NEW YEAR, everyone!

We made it through 2020, and whether or not you hit your reading goal this past year, don’t worry! 2021 is a new year for your TBR, and we have an AMAZING line-up of books you should add to your reading list ASAP.

THE LIFE I’M IN

This story of the power of forgiveness and second chances presents the unflinching story of a young woman trapped in the underworld of human trafficking. In Sharon G. Flake's latest and unflinching novel, we follow Charlese Jones, who, with her raw, blistering voice speaks the truths many girls face, offering insight to some of the causes and conditions that make a bully. Turned out of the only home she has known, Char boards a bus to nowhere where she is lured into the dangerous web of human trafficking.

HOLD BACK THE TIDE

A darkly seductive story of murder, betrayal, love, and family secrets in a small town in the Scottish Highlands. Alva knows that her father killed her mother, but she can’t prove it. The more she investigates though, the more she realizes that the truth can be more monstrous than lies/ And while you might be able to outrun anything that emerges from the dark water, you can never escape your past . . .

MUTED

Denver is more than ready on the day she and her best friends Dali and Shak sing their way into the orbit of the biggest R&B star in the world, Sean "Mercury" Ellis. Merc gives them everything: parties, perks, wild nights -- plus hours and hours in the recording studio. Even the painful sacrifices and the lies the girls have to tell are all worth it. Until they're not. Denver begins to realize that she's trapped in Merc's world, struggling to hold on to her own voice. As the dream turns into a nightmare, she must make a choice: lose her big break, or get broken.

THE POETRY OF SECRETS

A lyrical portrait of hidden identities and forbidden love set against the harrowing backdrop of the Spanish Inquisition. Isabel’s dreams to pursue poetry and a partner of her own choosing are thrown into jeopardy when the Spanish Inquisition reaches her small town.

SHURI #2: THE VANISHED

Shuri, the Princess of Wakanda (and sister to the Black Panther), sets out to save a group of kidnapped girls in this all-new, original novel by New York Times bestselling author Nic Stone!

BRIDGE OF SOULS

Where there are ghosts, Cassidy Blake follows . . .unless it's the other way around? Cass thinks she might have this ghost-hunting thing down. But nothing can prepare Cass for New Orleans, which wears all of its hauntings on its sleeve. And the city's biggest surprise is a foe Cass never expected to face: a servant of Death itself.

FOLLOW YOUR ARROW

When bisexual influencer CeCe breaks up with her girlfriend, Silvie, she’s devastated. But then she starts falling for a new guy who has no idea she’s internet famous...and CeCe wants to keep it that way. But as her secrets catch up to her, she finds herself in the middle of an online storm, where she'll have to confront the blurriness of public vs. private life, and figure out what it really means to speak her truth.

MIRROR’S EDGE

The danger rises and the deception grows in the heart-stopping third book in the New York Times bestselling Impostors series! Are twins Frey and Rafi on the same side . . . or are they playing to their own agendas? If their father is deposed from Shreve, who will take control? And what other forces may be waiting in the wings?

ZARA HOSSAIN IS HERE

Zara's family has waited years for their visa process to be finalized so that they can officially become US citizens. While dealing with the Islamophobia that she faces at school, Zara has to lay low. But when her tormentor vandalizes her house with racist graffiti, a violent crime puts Zara’s entire future at risk. Now she must pay the ultimate price and choose between fighting to stay in the only place she's ever called home or losing the life she loves and everyone in it.

REMEDY

It's a mystery - why is Cara so sick? It feels like she's been sick all her life . . . but she and her mom have never stayed in one place long enough for doctors to really understand what's happening to her. Now, at fourteen, Cara is tired of being tired, and sick of being sick. Unable to afford the care she needs, Cara's mom starts a Caring for Cara campaign online. The money starts pouring in. But something's not right to Cara. And the harder she looks, the less she understands.

HEARTSTOPPER VOLUME 3

The third volume in the poignant and sweet Heartstopper series, featuring beautiful two-color artwork! Charlie didn't think Nick could ever like him back, but now they're officially boyfriends. Nick has even found the courage to come out to his mom. But coming out isn't something that happens just once, and Nick and Charlie try to figure out when to tell their friends that they're dating. Not being out to their classmates gets even harder during a school trip to Paris. As Nick and Charlie's feelings get more serious, they'll need each other more than ever.

THE BLOCK

In the second book of The Loop trilogy, Luka is trapped in a fate worse than death. But now that he knows the truth about what he and his fellow inmates are being used for, it's more important than ever that he not only escapes, but that he builds an army.

ON THE HOOK

Hector has always minded his own business while he works towards a better life. Until Joey, whose older brother, Chavo, is head of the Discípulos gang, tells Hector that he's going to kill him: maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday. And Hector, frozen with fear, does nothing. From that day forward, Hector's death is hanging over his head every time he leaves the house. But when a fight between Chavo and Hector's brother escalates, Hector is left with no choice but to take a stand. It's up to Hector to choose whether he's going to lose himself to revenge or get back to the hard work of living.

MISTER IMPOSSIBLE

Do the dreamers need the ley lines to save the world . . . or will their actions end up dooming the world? As Ronan, Hennessy, and Bryde try to make dreamers more powerful, the Moderators are closing in, sure that this power will bring about disaster. In the remarkable second book of The Dreamer Trilogy, Maggie Stiefvater pushes her characters to their limits – and shows what happens to them and others when they start to break.

THE GHOSTS WE KEEP

Everything happens for a reason.At least that's what everyone keeps telling Liam Cooper after his older brother Ethan is killed suddenly in a hit-and-run. Feeling more alone and isolated than ever, Liam has to not only learn to face the world without one of the people he loved the most, but also face the fading relationships of his two best friends in the process. Soon, Liam finds themself spending time with Ethan's best friend, Marcus, who might just be the only person that seems to know exactly what they're going through - for better and for worse.

SIMONE BREAKS ALL THE RULES

Simone is shaking things up by making a bucket list of everything she hasn’t been able to do thanks to her strict Haitian immigrant parents. But as the list takes on a life of its own, things get much more complicated than Simone expected. She'll have to discover which rules are worth breaking, and which might save her from heartbreak.

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

Skylar is ready to show everyone that her latest app is brilliant by winning an academic competition. To do that, she's going to use it to win State at the Scholastic Exposition, the nerdiest academic competition around. But when she falls for one of her team members and things get complicated, is her path to greatness over before it begins?

THE GIRL FROM THE SEA

A graphic novel about family, romance, and first love! Morgan's biggest secret is that she has a lot of secrets, including the one about wanting to kiss another girl. Then one night, Morgan is saved from drowning by a mysterious girl named Keltie. The two become friends and suddenly life on the island doesn't seem so stifling anymore. But Keltie has some secrets of her own. And as the girls start to fall in love, everything they're each trying to hide will find its way to the surface...whether Morgan is ready or not.

RISE TO THE SUN

Three days. Two girls. One life-changing music festival. Toni is reeling in the wake of the loss of her roadie father and desperate to figure out where her life will go from here. Olivia is a hopeless romantic whose heart has just taken a beating (again). When the two collide at the Farmland Music and Arts Festival, it feels like kismet. But when something goes wrong and the festival is sent into a panic, Toni and Olivia find that they need each other, and the music, more than they ever imagined.

YOU & ME AT THE END OF THE WORLD

Hannah Ashton wakes up to silence. The entire city around her is empty, except for one other person: Leo Sterling. Leo might be the hottest boy ever (and not just because he's the only one left), but he's also too charming, too selfish, and too devastating for his own good, let alone Hannah's. Together, they search for answers amid crushing isolation. But while their empty world may appear harmless . . . it's not. Because nothing is quite as it seems, and if Hannah and Leo don't figure out what's going on, they might just be torn apart forever.

IN THE SAME BOAT

Sadie is ready for the race of a lifetime: The Texas River Odyssey. But then her brother ditches her and she has to pair up with her former best friend, Cully. It's irritating enough that he grew up to be so attractive, but once they're on the river it turns out he's ill-prepared for such a dangerous race. But as the miles pass, the pain of the race builds, they uncover the truth about their feuding families, and Sadie's feelings for Cully begin to shift. Could this race change her life more than she ever could have imagined?

THE GREAT DESTROYERS

In this alternate-history novel, Jo joins the Pax Games: an Olympics-style competition that pits pilots of mechas against each other. But when fighters start dying in the arena, Jo is drawn into a deadly political plot. In a global arms race between superpowers, playing out in violent games that only humanity could create, comes a chilling story of clashing titans, ruthless competition, freedom, and the girl caught in the middle of it all.

#I read YA #books to read #booklr #2021 books #tbr #2021 tbr

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b-rainlet · 3 years

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I promised to answer this in a seperate post so here it goes!

(Sorry this took forever but...I think the length explains why ajsnsns)

For @honestmrdual who asked for Alice +/vs/or Jervis!

Slight warning??? For the discussion of kidnapping since I mention Alice and Jervis within my Rotten AU

Also Murder. And Suicide.

Also Incest. Duh.

Jervis vs. Alice

That's...a hard one but also super simple? Like, I don't think either of them would want to fight the other, you know?

Of course Jervis doesn't wanna hurt his love but Alice also would rather avoid a confrontation with her brother.

But since as long as one of them is alive, they're gonna play an eternal game of cat and mouse, it would've come down to a fight eventually.

And even though in canon Alice dies, I think she would win.

Because canon seems more like an accident than a strategic suicide (even though Gordon words it like it's one).

But if it came down to a one on one fight?

I mean, Alice is shown to be willing to shoot Jervis whereas Jervis never truly threatens her.

Like yeah, she's tied up but he doesn't threaten her with a gun (like he does at the Lee/Valerie/Jim tea party for example) and when they meet on the roof he's mostly super happy to see her, he doesn't even think about defending himself??

He just stands there, arms up and obviously wanting to touch/hug Alice.

(Which…I think about often ansnsnsn)

So if they didn't need Jervis around for longer, Alice would've definitely killed him.

Shot him. Stabbed him. Lit him on fire. Whatever she could think of at that moment.

And Jervis probably would be super surprised because?? Alice??? His dear sister?? Why would you hurt him like this if he only wants to keep you safe???

Also I have made a post before about how he never once tries to hypnotize her - possibly because she's immune but that's never outright stated so maybe he also just...wouldn't do that to her. And I lose my mind every time I think about that for more than two seconds).

Also also, if I am already rambling - when am I not - the way it would've given Alice way more agency if she would've chosen to die the way Jim seems to imply she did.

Since he goes 'She would've rather been dead than spend any more time with you' or something like that and you could argue that yeah, she does pull away from Jervis but I think that was more 'I need to get away' and less 'I'm actively choosing to get impaled now'.

Just imagine!!

Jervis once again pressing Alice to his chest, watching Jim and Harvey fight tweedle dee and tweedle dum, when suddenly Alice pushes away, frees herself and stumbles into the room.

And everyone freezes for a moment because she's yelling at them to stop and Jim's telling her to go hide somewhere while Jervis is trying to reach for her without getting shot but she's having none of it.

She's sick of running, sick of hiding, she doesn't wanna live the rest of her life like this, always looking over her shoulder, always ready to vanish again, never truly able to build herself a life, to make any friends, to do more than survive.

Mostly, she wants to be able to wash all the blood from her hands, wants to stop being responsible for people getting hurt, the ones close to her and the ones unfortunate enough to be in her brother's way.

It's her fault Jervis is in Gotham, it's her fault Jim nearly died, it's her fault Jervis manipulated and maimed and murdered his way to her.

Not to mention she's a killer too! It's in her blood just as much as it is in Jervis' and she's tired of it, of all of it.

And it seems for a second she's gonna go to Jervis willingly and stay with him (which is an option she knows, but it wouldn't stop the running and the hiding, wouldn't stop the detectives from coming after them) but no.

Instead she picks up Jervis' gun (that I think he discarded in that scene? If not, he did now ajsjsjs) and she shoots herself.

And everyone would yell at her not to do it, voices shouting and people running toward her before there's this loud bang and then there's silence.

For a very long time.

Anyway, since Alice made it very clear she chose to die, it would be harder for Jervis to delude himself into thinking Jim somehow forced her or tore her away from him (although he would probably still manage, it's Jervis after all) so maybe, they'd actually get to arrest him (because I can see him just...falling to his knees and not moving after Alice is dead. Maybe cradling her in his arms. There's no real reason to go on now after all).

But even if he gets dragged away like in canon, this minor change would've made Alice' death a lot more driven in my opinion.

(And if we still need her impaled then imagine her speech and then she lets herself fall backwards with her eyes closed and her arms outstretched and she still ends up on the pole).

(Plus, because I like multiple endings, two possibilities I would also consider very sexy but wouldn't make sense in canon since they need Jervis around:

Jervis kills himself after seeing Alice die - much like Victor Fries tried to do, because what kind of life is this if the one person worth living for is dead?

Alice pretends she's willingly going with Jervis but she used the time she had while she was monologuing to acquire a weapon (maybe one of the needles Jervis used to draw her blood) and once she's close enough she goes for a hug and ends up stabbing him in the neck multiple times until he's falling down in front of her, slowly bleeding out, murmuring her name with his eyes open in shock.

Just....some musings you know akjssksm).

Jervis + Alice

Do I even need to answer this? xD

They're on my top ship list, they're right up there next to Jecco and Jerelina, but they also have scenes within canon that make my mind go !!! like Jerome/Lee and Jervis/Ecco do.

They're just....good. Very good.

I have...a lot of thoughts and AUs for them but I think I shared them all already because I can't stop blabbering about them lmao.

Although I gotta say I've been thinking about them within my Jeremiah/Ecco/Jerome AU (aka the Rotten Fic)

Specifically about Jervis being Alice' legal guardian since she was about 10 or even younger (since their parents died very early in her life) and Alice isn't exactly being held captive but everytime she tried to run away while she was growing up, the police simply brought her back to her brother.

Because she was a minor and he was her 'loving and worried' big brother - who also could be very persuasive and knew how to manipulate people in his favour - and soon she was known as a 'notorious runaway' and the people she tried to plead for help only smiled at her in that condescending way people do when they pity you.

'Ah there she is, the little Tetch Girl, poor thing, lost her parents so soon. Now she's a troubled kid, running away, telling lies. She can be thankful her brother is so patient and loving with her.'

And surely all the tales she likes to spin about her brother crawling into bed with her or giving her 'special baths' are simply a sign for her overactive imagination, a hurt child making up all sorts of morbid things to get some attention.

And now she's around 20 and she knows she's old enough, an adult now, they would have to at least listen now.

Or she could simply try and get away, out of town, the police can't escort her back to her house anymore, they can't stop her at the train station and tell her she's a bad girl for worrying her brother like that.

But she also knows Jervis would never let her, he would come after her and he would kill everyone she would dare to care about besides him.

He would find her no matter where she hides.

It's safer when she stays, for her and for all the people out there she will never get to meet.

I simply like the idea of Alice basically being in a kidnapping situation but no one realizes. She's the sweet girl living with her brother, she belongs at home with her brother, what is she talking about being 'at her brother's mercy'.

And it's gotten to a point where he put her out of school with the promises of 'homeschooling' to 'help her anxiety' and oh, isn't he such a sweet and caring brother?

Taking it upon himself to teach her at home, what a big sacrifice it must be for him to completely focus on his little sister like that, to make sure she doesn't get left behind!

(And of course, since Jervis can be...persuasive, no one questions whether he actually has a teaching degree or anything of the like, no, Alice is shoved into his arms with smiles and waves).

And as Alice grew up, got to a point where her words couldn't be brushed aside as child's talk anymore, she learned to play her part. Made some…mistakes, said the wrong thing to the wrong person and had to live with the consequences.

(Consequences the other person can't live with anymore).

So if some newer neighbours notice that Alice is never seen outside? Well, she's a shy girl, no need to be worried!

Her brother is such a gentleman and he does make it a point to introduce the both of them to everyone who moves into their street, did the same when they first moved to Gotham, going from door to door with little Alice on his hand to prevent any rumours from spreading to make a good first impression!

And even if someone does worry, they only need to wait until Jervis is gone for the day to ring the doorbell. Alice will open and invite them inside, will play nice and portray the little sister Jervis told her to be.

The neighbour will come back home thinking 'Oh well, the girl is a shut-in, nothing too out of the ordinary. It's a dangerous city after all' and Alice will remain in her room and fight back the panic inside her, knowing that if she didn't do her job right and they get suspicious....accidents happen all the time.

Of course this routine is gonna get disturbed once Ecco enters the scene but let's not get ahead of ourselves👀👀👀

(Anyways the inherent horror of being kidnapped and used by strangers - aka Ecco and the twins - vs. Being permanently kept in a glass cage that no one else can see except you and no one can ever hear you scream for help - aka Alice and Jervis)

Jervis or Alice

Okay that's a hard one! Like, harder than choosing between Ecco and Jervis because Jervis and Alice are kinda on the same level here.

I love Jervis. You know if you've seen even just a fraction of my blog lmao.

But Alice.....so much potential. Such a good fucking storyline.

(Jervis and Alice as two sides of the same coin? I'd even say they have a big 'star-crossed lovers, one can't truly exist without the other' vibe. I mean, you could even compare them to 'B*tjokes in a way - only the who hunts who down is flipped).

Also Alice is very pretty and I have an obvious preference for girls in pretty much any piece of media I consume.

But then you have Jervis, who isn't only involved in the Alice storyline but is also part of the J Squad.....you have the legendary Jerome/Jonathan/Jervis team up and all three of them being horribly into each other....Jonathan and Jervis basically being an old married couple....the way Jervis looks at Jerome which still has me losing my mind....also you have the Ace Chemicals Episode which single-handedly saved the 5th season......the superb Ecco/Jervis interaction......fuck, this is hard.

I love Alice and I need to talk about her more often but I think Jervis wins simply by having more interactions with other characters (and oh to have Alice around for longer.....have her face off against Jervis on the regular.....Bruce deserves a little ragtag team of protoheroes in my opinion so why not add Alice...).

...But I am getting off track :D

#Tetchcest #Rotten Fic #long post #not happy with this but oh well #I absolutely hate making posts on tumblr that are longer than like one paragraph #a nightmare to write and post #anyway I hope this is okay even tho I made it way too deep #@the Jerome anon yours is probably gonna end up even longer akjdjsjdbs

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karajaynetoday · 4 years

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forever and always | calum hood

I couldn’t find the original credit for this gif but possibly here? It’s a deactivated blog though if anyone has the proper credit please let me know!

I don’t know how or why, but I woke up this morning thinking about this concept and I had to get it written to make my peace with it, in a way. Shout out to @spicycal for reading through the draft for me, and sending love to anyone this resonates with. It’s a very emo Calum one-shot that includes pregnancy loss (if that’s not something you can read, feel free to give this one a miss), but I promise it has a happy ending.

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy and pregnancy loss/stillbirth, and references to COVID-19 (the pandemic circumstances i.e. quarantine, not actually having the illness)

(This is a fem reader insert)

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Calum ducked his head down to meet your gaze, brown eyes swimming with concern.

You were sat together on the couch in Ashton’s living room, surrounded by a lighting set up, having a quiet moment while Andy and Ryan were setting up their cameras in front of you. 5SOS were preparing to release their next album, and to reflect on the past ten years’ of the band, they had decided to film a documentary alongside the album process. After much deliberation, KayKay, Sierra and Crystal had agreed to take part, because they were just as much a part of the band’s journey as the boys’ families were, and their support and influence on the music was obvious. For you, though, it was a little different. You and Calum had successfully hidden your relationship from the public eye for the last four years. It was some sort of miracle, honestly, especially given the last little while where you’d gotten careless and slipped up by holding hands and showing affection in public. If any fans or paps noticed, they never said anything, and it gave you and Calum a sense of relief that no one knew your name or true identity when you were spotted with him or the rest of the band family in public.

Relief, but you had to admit that it hurt a little too. You’d seen the hate and vitriol that the other guys’ partners had experienced, and you knew Calum was just trying to protect you from all of that, but every time someone made a joke about him being the only single one in interviews, or asked him what he looked for in a girl, or the fans ran away with relationship rumours whenever he was photographed within breathing distance of a potential love interest, it made your chest feel tight. At the end of the day, though, Calum always came home to you, and that was what truly mattered.

To say that this was a big moment, publicly announcing your relationship with Calum, and revealing that you’d kept it hidden for years, was an understatement. But you knew it was important to both of you to finally share it with the world. Not just because you loved each other and wanted to show it, but because the events of the past year had broken and rebuilt you all over again. As individuals, as a couple, and even for the band as a whole. You knew that the hope you’d held, and the pain that tore you down, and the healing you’d been through came across in Calum’s contributions to the new album, so it felt right to sit down and use your own voice to convey your feelings about it all.

You broke out of your deep train of thought to nod in response to Calum’s question, and press a quick but reassuring kiss to his lips.

“I’m sure if you’re sure.” You whispered, as Calum threw his arm around your shoulders and squeezed to let you know he was in support of whatever you wanted to do.

“Okay guys, we’re ready if you’re all good to go?” Ryan spoke up from behind the camera, trying not to unsettle you two and the moment you were clearly having. A deep breath and a brief smile from you and Calum let Ryan know he could start recording, and Andy sat down out of frame and pulled his notebook of questions into his lap.

“So, shall we start from the beginning?”

Your heart swelled, as you began to remember.

Ashton had full on wingman-ed Calum when you first met them both at a bar downtown. He was dating KayKay at the time, so he’d made it his mission to find Cal a hot date, or a lover, or a lifelong companion (“Any of the above will do, as long as you’re not a shit person”, he’d told you as he tried to pitch Calum to you). The pitch had worked, and you’d joined them for a few drinks and rounds of pool, before exchanging numbers with Calum at the end of the night.

From there, it was coffee dates, and brunches, and then dinners and nights out on the town. Soon it became days or nights at each other’s houses, which became entire weekends, then it was trips away or secret visits to see Calum on tour, and before you knew it, you’d been dating for the better part of the last two years and Cal asked you to move in with him. He knew it was a sacrifice on your part, not only dating someone who was away for months at a time, let alone someone whose hand you couldn’t hold out in public for risk of being photographed, but you also knew that you and Calum loved each other more deeply than you’d ever loved before. You understood he’d be burned in the past with public or semi-public relationships, and seeing his band brothers go through them made him hesitant at best. By moving in together, you’d see each other more, and you’d also get to shower each other with the love and desire that was building more and more within your soul with every passing day.

“So that’s the story of how we met. Mate, honestly, I was head over heels from day one.” Calum laughed, kissing your forehead quickly.

“I’ve had the privilege of observing you two and your love for one another for a few years now, and I have to say it’s a beautiful thing. You just seem to know each other inside out, and I love that soulmate aspect of your relationship.” Andy mused, flashing you a warm smile.

“Now, in terms of influence on this upcoming album, I know the past 18 months have been a rollercoaster for us all, but you two especially have been through a lot. Do you feel comfortable talking us through that a little bit?” Andy was careful with his words, not wanting to upset you or make you uncomfortable.

You squeezed Calum’s knee, before swallowing thickly and thinking back to the time period Andy had mentioned.

When 2020 began, you held so much hope and excitement for the year ahead. Watching Calum and his brothers play the Firefight Australia concert was incredible, and you were so thrilled for them to be releasing their latest album that truly felt representative of the four individuals who had come together to craft it. But then the pandemic began, and you were ordered into quarantine. Each day felt heavier somehow, with more sad stories on the news, and more frustration building up amongst your loved ones. It broke your heart to see Calum and the boys not able to release the album in the way they’d originally hoped, but Cal himself was both an optimist and a realist, and constantly reiterated that it felt like the right time to release it anyway, because maybe it would bring a bit of joy and serenity to people that needed that in their lives amongst all the chaos.

You’d quickly fallen into the routine of home isolation, waking early to get your work hours done, so you could spend your afternoons with Calum and Duke by the pool, or hiking a nearby trail, or bingeing Netflix on the couch. It was strange to have so much time together, but it was also so warm and comforting that it didn’t take you long to get anxious at the idea of Calum ever leaving again for tour or promo. That was a while away, though, so you tried your best to make the most of the time you had, and take it one day at a time.

You couldn’t remember the first day you woke up feeling nauseous. Sometime in June, you supposed. A few days of vomiting and fatigue that made you feel like you’d been hit by a bus, and you had a telehealth appointment with your doctor to try and figure out what was going on. Given your symptoms, they’d asked you in for tests right away. A week or so later, you were back sitting in the doctor’s office awaiting the results, extra nervous because the COVID-19 restrictions meant that Calum couldn’t come in with you. You’d thought about FaceTiming him into the appointment, but there was something in the back of your mind telling you that you wanted to have a moment to yourself to process the news, whatever it was going to be.

When your doctor looked at you with a smile and told you that you were pregnant, all you could do was gape back at her in shock. It shouldn’t have come entirely as a surprise; you and Calum had spoken a few times about the vision you had for your future, and the uncertainty and restlessness that quarantine had given you made foregoing protection seem right, somehow (lovesick logic, or something like that). But it happening so quickly was unexpected. Your shock was soon replaced with tears of happiness, and you were already bursting at the seams to get home and tell Calum the news.

He was speechless at first, too, but then again Calum always was a man of few words. You’d kept it to yourselves for a little while, only discussing it in quiet whispers, or soft touches onto your non-existent bump, or sending links of cute baby things to one another via WhatsApp message. A few weeks later, you had your first scan, and this time Calum was allowed in the room. You could see his eyes light up when he heard the strong heartbeat on the monitor, and later he’d tell you how he immediately wanted to voicenote it on his phone to listen to while he was away on tour, or even mix it into a song.

Seeing that tiny blob on the screen and hearing the heartbeat honestly made your entire year, and from then on you couldn’t resist sharing your happiness with others. Video calls with yours and Calum’s parents, more happy tears and cheering from the soon-to-be first time grandparents.

The restrictions in California had eased a little, so you invited Ashton, Luke, Michael and their respective partners over for dinner one night. You’d prepared some cute greeting cards, one for each couple, thanking them for all of their support over the years with helping to protect your privacy with Calum, and slipped a copy of the baby scan with “see you in February” written on the back inside the card. Once everyone was settled onto the couches in the living room, waiting for dinner to be ready, you handed them out and sat down in Calum’s lap, taking a sip of your drink to try and hide the excitement on your face.

It was so amusing to observe the reactions that were representative of each couple. Michael and Crystal gasped and cheered, immediately pulling you and Calum into tight hugs. Ashton and KayKay were more reserved, but whispers of love and encouragement and happiness into your ears were so lovely and cherished. The tears in Sierra’s eyes, and the comfort of Luke’s squeeze of his arms around your waist said more than they could ever put into words.

The emotional celebrations soon turned into teasing jibes, and Ashton’s pitch for a new line of 5SOS baby merch. (“Come on guys, a baby-sized bucket hat? Tiny hoodies? Wildflower plush toys? A lullabies album? I’m telling you, there’s a whole WORLD of opportunity for us opening up right now!”), and you couldn’t help but feel both overjoyed and overwhelmed at how much this little baby was going to be surrounded with love and support for every day of their life.

The months carried on, and your once invisible baby bump grew and grew. You and Calum cleared out a spare room for the nursery, and got lost in furniture shopping and paint swatches and reading every parenting book you could get your hands on. There were doctors appointments, and birthing classes; lists of potential baby names on the fridge, and consulting your dog trainer on how best to introduce old man Duke to the idea of a new arrival.

As December approached, and you started getting into the festive spirit, Calum began returning to the studio as he and the guys toyed with some potential new directions for the next album. All of them had studios built into their homes, so they could meet and work together in relative safety, which was reassuring. You were standing over the kitchen sink one day, rinsing out the pan you’d used to make eggs for breakfast, when a searing pain in your abdomen had you groaning in discomfort and gripping onto the kitchen counter for dear life. The pain eased momentarily, and then came back stronger, and you managed to grab your phone from the counter and dial Calum’s number frantically as you gasped for breath.

The next few hours were a blur; Calum raced home to find you curled up in pain on the kitchen floor, Ashton and the paramedics were quick to follow him inside. They put you in an ambulance and took you straight to the hospital; you and Calum were gripping each other’s hand so tightly that your knuckles were white with stress.

The doctors determined you were in pre-term labour, and soon enough you were in a delivery room panting and pushing and crying out to Calum for comfort. It was all so terrifying and overwhelming but he was doing his best to ground you, brushing his fingers through your hair and holding your hand and whispering sweet nothings into your ear. When you finally delivered the baby, a hush fell over the room, and you could tell from the look on the faces of your doctor and nurses that something wasn’t right.

The silence continued, and your heart broke when you realised that the baby hadn’t started to cry like you’d expected. The nurses had moved the infant over to another station, suctioning their airway and connecting them up to all manner of tubes and wires, but after a few moments your doctor told you the news. It was a baby girl, but her heartbeat wasn’t there. She’d come into the world and gone out again, just like that.

“I know a lot of people struggle to talk about stillbirths, and losing children, and it’s such a deeply personal thing so I get it. But it’s also grief, and loss, and emotions that you feel whenever you lose anyone you love. If there’s one thing I wish we could do more, as people in general, it’s discuss how we feel, and normalise having emotions, because it brings you closer and makes you feel less alone.” You spoke softly, blinking away the tears that had started to well in your eyes.

Andy nodded gently at you, before a quiet “Cal?” with an encouraging flick of his head.

Calum cleared his throat and glanced over at you before speaking.

“I think that’s a huge part of why we wanted to be here today and talk about not only our relationship but losing Matilda in particular. It’s a sensitive topic, I know, especially for men, but holding back and bottling up your emotions isn’t good for anyone. Without her support in getting me to open up, or having the boys to listen to me cry and help me get some of my feelings out, in words and on this album, I don’t think I’d be in as good a place as I am now. It’s dark to think about, but important not to ignore, I think.”

“You’re so right, Cal. And Matilda is always going to be a part of our story, and we’re never going to forget how much we loved her and how much closer together she brought us,” You began, pausing briefly to squeeze Calum’s hand that had settled on your swollen stomach, “And when our little rainbow baby arrives in the next few weeks, I can’t wait to tell them about their sister, and how much she would’ve loved to meet them, but now she’s watching over them instead.”

“Exactly. We’re always going to have had Matilda, and then this little one, and however many others we decide to try and bring into the world. But it’s the love that builds you and the loss that breaks you that makes us who we are. Forever and always.” Calum’s voice was emotional, but also firm and calm, as he looked down at you and kissed you intently, his hand never leaving its spot on your bump, where your little rainbow baby was kickly softly at the sound of his voice.

“Forever and always.” You agreed, inhaling deeply and feeling a sense of deep peace and content wash over you.

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#calum hood imagine #calum hood one shot #calum hood blurb #calum hood #calum hood fanfiction #my writing #tw pregnancy #tw miscarriage #tw stillbirth #tw pregnancy loss

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doloresrojo · 3 years

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Hel’s Daughter

Notes: Although I've never read one of his books, I was inspired by Rick Riordan. I also took some elements of different works of fiction, like Francesca Simon's "The Monstrous Child", the History Channel show "Vikings", Neil Gaiman's "Norse Mythology" and other sources. English is not my native language, so there might be mistakes when it comes to grammar and spelling.

Hope you like it.

The word miracle didn’t exist for the old Norsemen; the concept was foreign to them. If you wanted the favor of the gods you had to take it through sacrifice and blood, prayers were not enough. The gods demanded action. Hel, the goddess of the dead, ruler of Helheim, receiver of those who died an unworthy dead, believed this just as much as the Aesir and the Vanir; and yet, she couldn’t think of a better word to describe the baby that was about to come out of her womb. For thousands of years the gods and goddesses had roamed Midgard coupling with mortals leaving offsprings everywhere. So far, Hel had been the only exception when it came to offsprings. Nobody told Hel that she couldn’t conceive, she just assumed it, after all, half of her body was a corpse. She thought that she wasn’t supposed to produce life, it was not her domain. But having a child had always been one of her deepest longings.

Hel was a witch too, her mother the giantess Angrboda was a völva, and a powerful one; Loki had not chosen her only for her beauty and wickedness; power attracted Loki more than anything, and before being separated from her children she had thought her daughter well. Hel could cast a spell for almost anything, but her favorite was the art of illusion. Hel could make the left side of her body, the one that was a corpse, complement the right one. She knew that the other gods disdained her appearance, and she had used that to her advantage, she loved to play with them, but when it came to mortal men she knew that she had to conceal that part of her if she wanted their attention. So she presented herself as a beautiful Nordic woman: fair skin and smooth as the ice, green eyes like a meadow in the spring, scarlet red lips and long blond hair that reached down to her waist. She looked like a princess from a fairy tale, ancient and mysterious.

The father of her baby was a young Irish musician that was living in London, one of her favorite places. He wasn’t particularly ambitious, he hadn’t left Ireland trying to make it big, he was a wanderer and an artist, a good one for that matter. At first Hel had been attracted to his voice, raspy but comforting, like whiskey running through your veins; then as she watched him she realized that he was shy and he was honestly baffled when someone showed interest in him, and it wasn’t an act; she could see it through her left eye, that eye could only see the truth; he knew her as Sigrid and for one night they worshiped each other. Trough sex, Hel was able to feel the rush that only living bodies feel, the feeling that she couldn’t completely have on her own. And this boy was good at what he was doing, despite of his clumsiness and hesitation, once he got confident he became aware of what his partner wanted and delivered. He wanted to see her again and she didn’t oppose the idea, she told him that she would come back; but she didn’t, not because she didn’t want to, she was expecting his baby and she didn’t know what to do. Hel never thought that she would have to deal with such a human and mundane situation.

The pain was excruciating, she had known pain but never like this. The pregnancy had not been an easy one, for the majority of the time she had to stay in bed, more than once the baby tore her left side almost coming out before time. She believed that if the baby was born dead she would be more angry than sad, all that pain for nothing; she longed for a child, yes, but now she felt bitter. The fates had given her so much sorrow: a deformed body, an untrustworthy, narcissistic and negligent father, a family broken by the fear of others, a kingdom that resented her no matter how much she cared of her subjects’ wellbeing. So no, she didn’t believe that the fates will let her have a piece of joy; her own piece of joy. She could have a corpse baby, ready to be put to the ground. A living corpse, cursed to be a living dead. A monster, just like her and her brothers, destined to endure the wrath of the gods.

“Just one more push, daughter, it’s almost here”. Angrboda was assisting her. When Hel arrived to Nifelheim her mother was already waiting for her; she had been killed not long after the gods had come for them.

“Pray to the Bloodmother”. Said Modgud, the giantess that guarded Gjallarbù, and her friend, who was supporting her back and holding her from the armpits.

With a cry that declared war she pushed as if her life depended on it, she felt her left side finally being ripped apart, and she collapsed on Modgud; she felt herself being dragged to unconsciousness, then a memory came out of nowhere: She was back at Jötunheim, with her brothers in her room, she was lying on Fenrir looking at the view from her window- ice mountains and snow being carried away by the wind- Jörmundgandr coiled beside them with Fenrir's tail rubbing him. Her sanctuary. She was brought back to reality by a high pitched baby’s cry. She opened her eyes and saw Angrboda, astonished, looking at the new born. With tears falling down her face she said:

“It is a girl, Hel. A beautiful baby girl”.

Using her remaining strength she sat up and held her arms out for her baby. What she looked was a healthy baby demigoddess, with ten fingers and ten toes, an upturned nose and a lot of hair on her head. Chestnut hair and brown eyes, just like her father.

“Thank you, Bloodmother. She has her father’s looks”.

Hel kissed her daughters forehead and wept; they were tears of happiness, her baby lived. And that was also the problem: No living being could live in Helheim, which meant that she could not stay with her, she had to live in Midgard. Soon she would have to let her go. The fates truly despised her.

***

No matter how much she hated the three dreadful sisters giantesses, they had the answer to her questions. She swaddled her baby and went to pay them a visit at the foot of the tree of life, the Yggdrasil. The sisters were beautiful, three maidens in the prime of their youth, who could believe that they were ancient and feared by gods and mortals alike?

“You took your time, queen”. Said Urd, the Norn that commanded over the past. She was picking up branches and leaves that had felt from above.

“But alas, no one can escape their fate. Not even a god”. Skuld, the one that presided over the future said, she was looking at the well of fate, the Urðarbrunnr.

Hel looked to Verdandi, the one that ruled the present, waiting to see if she had also something to say. She didn’t even acknowledged Hel, she just took a branch out of a basket and snapped it. Hel flinched and held the baby tighter, Verdandi had just terminated someone’s life. Tossing the branch she said:

“Don’t make that face, Hel. You are the queen of Helheim, death shouldn’t make you flinch. It is natural”.

“She is a mother now. Nothing will ever be the same for her”. A smiling Urd said.

Condescending bitch, thought Hel. Maybe it was the nerves but she was feeling mocked by the sisters. Either way, they were talking as if she wasn’t present.

“I am here…”

“Oh, we know”. Verdandi sounded exasperated, bored even. “You want to know what awaits to your child. Put her in the crib”.

A crib appeared at Hel’s feet, carefully she set the sleeping baby in the crib and the sisters stood beside it. They looked at the baby for what to Hel felt like centuries and then stared at each other. Urd was the first to speak:

“Your daughter is not like any other child a god has ever had; she is special, one of a kind. She is the only child you will ever have; she comes from the barest place in the nine worlds and holds so much power. She will be pure magic, she will be the one who will tip the balance when the end of everything comes”.

“You mean?”

“Yes. Ragnarök”. The sisters said in unison.

Ragnarök, the twilight of the gods. The prophecy had done so much damage already to her family. Fenrir was in Asgard, chained with a sword stuck in his mouth and Jörmundgandr was forced to hold the waters of the mortal world with his tale already in his mouth.

“How?”

“That is yet to be seen. Just like you queen, her part in it is yet not defined”. Answered Skuld.

“You wretched… tell me what you know!”

“Hush now. We don’t have all the answers, you already knew that before coming here. And you’d be wise to mind your words, unless you want her to have a similar fate like the rest of your kin”. Verdandi reminded Hel that they could tamper with fate how they saw fit, so it was wise no to offend them so they would be on her side.

Hel took a breath and swallowed her anger.

“Forgive me… I am scared. I don’t know what to do to protect her”.

The sisters softened at Hel’s turmoil. Skuld and Verdandi went back to their places, resuming their work, Urd picked the baby up from the crib and gave her back to her mother.

“You already know what you have to do to protect her, your child is not safe. She is in a very precarious situation. There is only one place were Odin, and Loki, might not find her that easily; your powers will be useful for that. Not to mention your love for her, that’s your greatest weapon against everyone that comes to harm her”.

***

After leaving the sisters Hel realized that she needed to act fast. It was only a matter of time for everyone in the Nine Worlds to find out about her daughter's existence; she had cast an invisibility spell on the baby to prevent Odin from seeing her in his dreams but that wouldn’t last forever. Loki was still bound inside of a cave for what he did to Baldr, but the fates had mentioned him and that didn’t surprise her; the gods didn’t understand the full extent of Loki’s powers; bound to a cave with a venom serpent over his head was not enough to contain him. She knew the place that the sisters meant, the one were her daughter would be safer: Midgard. The world of the mortals had changed and with it also Odin’s ability to see everything there; mortals moved faster in comparison to the old days. A lot of things were happening at the same time in Midgard, it was hard for the All Father to keep his eye on them.

Hel was dreading this, to let the father know of the existence of their child, but she didn’t trust anyone else with her daughter’s safety. She had seen his heart, he was a good person; still, she knew that she was asking for too much. They had been together only once and he was young, clearly not ready to be a father. She had to try though; and if he refused, well, she could force him to do it, but she didn't want to do that, because she wanted her child to be loved. Hel's mother loved her, she loved all her children, but not Loki, he didn't know how to love anyone. She wouldn't let her child to be with an unloving father, that wound never heales. So if he refused, she would find someone else to take care of her child. There was no other way.

***

The father’s name was Ciaran, little dark one. He didn’t usually have nice dreams, he always dreamed of unpleasant or strange situations that left him feeling confused or disturbed. However, this dream was extremely different. He was in a place surrounded by rocky cliffs enveloped in green foliage; there were rows and rows of mountains surrounding the land like a belt or a fortress. The wind was cold but it wasn’t unbearable and even though they were near the sea the wind was dry, it could burn your skin. The land had also sterile patches; this place was a harsh one. He heard a surge of water, even though he was now far from the sea, he thought it was a waterfall but the sound was inconsistent; it was a geyser, there were hot springs too. Amazed, he touched the water, warm, it felt so real. He wished he could stayed there forever. Just when he thought that this place couldn’t mesmerized him more, he saw a volcano, and it was not dormant, smoke came out of it.

He loved this place, wherever it was, and he knew it was real, it had to; he didn’t think his imagination as vivid as it was could produce such a place. His favorite part was the beach, with its soft black sand; he sat there for a long time, seeing the waves come and go, breathing the sea breeze. He felt in so much peace.

Hel had been watching this whole time. She was the one who orchestrated this dream; Iceland had always had a calming effect on her, she hoped that he would feel the same way. She felt guilty, she was about to ruin his good spirits. Ciaran heard footsteps, when he turned he found the most beautiful woman in the world. Sigrid, the lovely Sigrid. He laughed when he saw how she was dressed: A long emerald gown with gold and silver embroidery, a black fur cloak as long as her gown fastened with a small gold chain, a copper choker of a snake that ate its own tail around her neck, her impossibly long hair was braided and on top of her head was a crown made of bones and stones. Now, his dream was getting more usual: Nonsensical.

“What’s so funny?” Hel asked, teasingly.

“Nothing… I’m just being silly”.

They didn’t say anything, they just looked at one another.

“You look beautiful, Sigrid”.

“Thank you. Do you like this place?”

“I do, I have no idea where I am but I love it”.

Hel stood beside him and scooped some of the sand in her hands.

“It’s called Reynisfjara beach”.

Ciaran’s eyebrows shot up to the top of his forehead.

“The what?”

Hel chuckled.

“If it’s better, you may say that you’re in Iceland”.

“Really?” Ciaran asked.

“Yes”.

This was a dream, he knew it; but if that was true then why did everything felt so real. The sand that he took form Sigrid’s hands, the smell of salt, the cold wind on his skin, and her. Specially her. It was just as the last time, so natural and effortless. As if to prove himself that she was in fact real, he cupped her left cheek; being in the land of dreams made him bold. She just stood still.

“Where did you go, Sigrid?”

How she wished that she was Sigrid, that she was a normal human woman that could venture to have a relationship with him. Hear him sing his beautiful songs with his lovely voice and caress his skin to sooth away all of his sorrows. But she wasn’t Sigrid and she’ll never be, and there were more important things to talk about right now.

“My name is not Sigrid, I’m not who you think I am”. She removed his hand off her cheek and took a few steps back. Closing her eyes, she let her glamour drop.

She couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes right away, so she listened. For a long moment he held his breath, he didn’t move, but his heartbeat sped up. When she finally opened them she saw him with his mouth agape and his eyes looked as if they were about to pop out of their sockets. He backed away from her in horror. If you asked anyone, they would tell you that Hel had no heart, because it was in her corpse side, she couldn’t feel anything there. That was not true, in that moment she could feel her heart breaking. Not wanting to hear hateful words from his mouth she broke the silence.

“I am sorry for deceiving you, I promise you I meant no harm. My name is Hel, Norse goddess of the Underworld, of Helheim, daughter of Loki and Angrboda. And I need your help”.

Ciaran looked at her with suspicion but also with interest, when they met he had known that something was different about her, now he knew what was it. She turned so her right side faced him maybe that would make things easier for him. He came closer and turned her so he could see her completely. Hel hated to feel evaluated, normally she would punish on the spot anyone that dared to looked at her like this; still, she let him, she owed him this much. He put both of his trembling hands on both sides of her face, the corpse side didn’t feel as he thought it would; the flesh didn’t come off at his touch, there was no stench, in fact, she smelled sweet, too sweet, it was hard to describe. The air around her was colder and her right side felt unnaturally soft.

“Is this not a dream?” He asked still holding her.

“It is, I used magic to enter your dreams. I brought you here because I love this place, it soothes me. I hoped that it would do the same to you, that made easier what I’m about to tell you”.

“There’s more?”

Hel removed her cloak, revealing that she had been carrying a baby in her arms this whole time. Ciaran looked at the baby and then at Hel, comprehension slowly making way to his mind. He opened his mouth but nothing came out, he just looked at the baby.

“I thought that I couldn’t have children, I had been sleeping with mortal men for centuries and nothing ever happened. I don’t know why it was different with you”.

Ciaran didn’t know what to do. Maybe Hel was being manipulative, she took the opportunity to put the baby over his chest, and luckily he took her, maybe more as a reflex than a conscious move.

“She is in danger. She needs to hide from the other gods and from my father, I talked to the fates before coming to you. Our daughter is meant to bring balance when the end of the world comes; she is not like any demigod that’s ever existed. She will be hunt down if we don’t hid her from them”.

“Did you just say the end of the world?!”

“I know it’s a lot to take. But if you accept to be her guardian I will help you; I will be watching over you both, I will instruct you, my treasure is more abundant than the one that Odin keeps in his halls, I will provide for you. Anything you need”.

Ciaran shook his head, this didn’t make any sense. He was just a regular guy, how in the world was he going to be able to protect a demigoddess?

“I don’t… how will I…” Then the baby opened her eyes. She had his mother’s eyes, his eyes. Fatherhood and motherhood were supposed to be different, or so he was told. Fathers were supposed to take more time to feel a bond with their children, it was normal. But now holding this baby, he felt it, he felt that bond. This was his baby and he was her father, he was certain.

“What’s her name?”

“I haven’t named her. I was hoping you would choose a name for her”.

“I always liked the name Felicity for a girl”.

Felicity meant happiness and joy, everything that Hel was not. It was perfect.

“I love it”.

Ciaran smiled and touched Felicity’s little face.

“Ciaran, do you think you can love her? I want her to be loved not just protected. Do you think you can love her as her father?”

“I already do”. And by the gods he did. It was insane but it was true.

“I’m going to need your help, Hel. You will have to teach me, I don’t understand anything that’s happening and I don’t know how I’ll protect her from gods and such”.

“I will, no matter what. I swear”. Said Hel fiercely. She put on her cloak and took Felicity, hiding her once more.

“It’s not dawn yet in London, go back to sleep, Felicity will be there in the morning. I need to say goodbye first”.

Ciaran nodded, he doubted that he could go back to sleep, but Hel made sure of that with a sleeping spell. He would need all the rest he could get.

***

Back at Helheim, Hel asked her mother and her servants Ganglati and Ganglöt to go to her treasure hall and gather enough jewels and valuable trinkets to secure a substantial income for a year. Angrboda took a look at her daughter and understood what she was about to do; it pained her, but it was the right thing. She kissed Hel and left, Ganglati and Ganglöt behind her, moving at the speed of a snail. Hel adverted her eyes elsewhere and when she looked back at where the siblings were they were gone; most likely, they were already at the hall waiting for Angrboda. They were one of Helheim’s greatest mysteries, to this day Hel doesn’t know where they come from or why they move so slowly as long as they are being watched.

She sat on her bed, Sick-bed, the very same bed where Felicity was born. She retrieved a silver pendant of a rune from a jewelry box. She dangled it over Felicity’s head, the pendant catching the light of the fires illuminating the room, her little brown eyes following it.

“This is the Hagalaz rune; it’s a rune that is associated with me. It represents the wrath of nature, destruction, trials and testing and crisis that leads to completion. If anything the fates said is true then it represents you well, my love… a god cannot always be everywhere at once, I certainly can’t; this pendant will be my eyes and ears, as long as you wear it I’ll be able to know where you are and if you need my assistance. Never take it off”.

Hel chanted the incantation necessary to bind herself to the pendant, green light poured out of her hand and danced around the pendant settling in the rune. Felicity watched everything with a serene expression, as if magic was already normal to her, as if she hadn’t been born a few days ago.

“Felicity, if only I could let you know how much this hurts me. I dreamed of you for so long, forgive me. This is not what I wanted for you, for the both of us… I don’t know what your father will tell you about me, but rest assured your mother loves you, and I am willing to tear everything apart for you”.

***

Ciaran woke up in the morning feeling rested; it had been a while since he had slept so well. He stretched and savored the feeling before remembering everything. He stood up and looked around his room, and there she was. Felicity, his daughter. A bag was next to her basket on the floor, he knelt and peeked at the basket, she was awake, and in her tiny fist she was holding something, he took a closer look and saw that it was a necklace, a pendant of a rune. Even he had heard of runes, and he knew that this was meant for Felicity to have. He opened the bag and found jewels, golden coins and precious stones, Hel wasn’t kidding when she said that she had treasure. Now it felt truly real. The dream that Hel had called upon felt real enough, but now it had materialized. Last night he was a musician that worked odd jobs to get by and was content with being aimless, and now, he was a father, a father of a demigoddess. Hel had not been very specific about the dangers that followed Felicity, and now him he supposed; how was he going to explain this to his parents? To his friends, he needed help, he had to go back to Ireland. This was not going to be easy, even with Hel’s help and support, but he was up for it. Whatever was coming he would face it, he would be there for his daughter just like his parents were there for him no matter what.

***

Verdandi saw everything as it was happening. Hel resumed her role as the queen of the Underworld, pretending that her heart and mind were there, Loki was struggling and raging in his bonds and Odin was vigilant as always, but still unaware of the existence of Felicity. The father was preparing to go back to his homeland with his kin. He didn’t know what awaited them. Not even her and her sisters knew for sure. The pieces on the board that was Ragnarök were scrambled. Some of the pieces were still set in their rightful place: Fenrir was still going to kill Odin and Odin would kill him in return, Thor and Frey would perish as well, and so would Loki. Hel’s role was still unchanged; she would provide her father with an army of the dead but it seemed that the rest was up to her. After Ragnarök the world will be reborn, a new order will come; that’s were Felicty’s part comes in to action. She will either lead the gods in this new world or she will return to the giants what was taken away from them so long ago, as their ruler. Why was she the one bestowed with so much power? Simple, this girl had inherited the power of Ymir. Everything came from Ymir; the giants, the world as we know it, and even the gods. Odin and his brothers had killed Ymir, little did they know that had Ymir wanted to they could have killed them in the blink of an eye. They were nothing compared to Ymir, but Ymir had chosen to sacrifice themselves so marvelous things were born. Ymir was great, and the greatest thing about they was the purity of their heart. But Felicity was not Ymir, and it was yet to be seen if she possessed the same purity of heart. None of this worried Verdandi, whatever this girl happened to decide to do with her power was… unimportant. As long as the outcome was unchanged, the rest didn’t matter.

#hel norse goddess #norse mythology #helheim #ragnarok #paganism #pagan god #nordic paganism

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makeste · 4 years

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I’ve just realised it’s been over a year since you last listed your top 10 characters! Has anything changed since then?

a lot has changed! actually, every single ranking has changed from last time except for one (which you can probably guess, lol).

1. Bakugou (previous rank: 1)

yes, believe it or not, Bakugou is still my favorite. I’ll understand if you all need a moment to recuperate from the shock of this.

2. Deku (previous rank: 4)

hi, so. I really love Deku a lot. I think he is a great character and there’s a lot of subtlety and complexity to him that he doesn’t always get credit for. he is loving and kind, but he’s not a pushover. he has moments of deer-in-headlights anxiety when he’s in the spotlight or talking to celebrities (or girls), but then he’ll go and launch into a five-hour speech if someone mentions a topic he’s interested in. he’s very much aware of the huge burden that’s been placed on his shoulders, and is struggling to figure out how to become his own person (which is fucking hard, you guys; how many sixteen-year-olds do you know who have a solid, firm idea of who they are as a person and what it is about themselves that makes them unique individuals?) while still living up to All Might’s legacy. he’s smart and determined and capable of extraordinary things, but second-guesses himself and has a tendency to overthink everything he does. he is interesting!! and he doesn’t always get credit for being interesting! but he is! anyways Deku ilu.

3. Aizawa (previous rank: 2)

still the best. still so tired. the manga is tripling down lately on highlighting how awesome he is. childhood angst and guilt and trauma?? yes. kicking lots of ass?? hell yes. being outrageously sexy with his floating wavy hair and glowy red eyes and spending almost this entire arc in Eraser Mode while Horikoshi hopes to god no one remembers how he made it a Whole Thing after USJ that Aizawa supposedly couldn’t hold his quirk for long periods like that anymore?? oh, you bet. who is even gonna complain about it. you?? I sure am not. and last but not least, being the greatest dad in the world who’s willing to stab god in the face in order to stay alive to protect his children and continue to watch them grow?? fam. you goddamn know that is a YES WITH CAPITAL LETTERS. how can one character honestly be so great. how can he even contain it. he’s so powerful.

4. Todoroki (previous rank: 5/6)

Ochako slid all the way off my top ten list and I feel so bad about it. but she hasn’t had the spotlight for a long time, and meanwhile Shouto has had what feels like ARC AFTER ARC of being awesome and doing awesome things like becoming Bakugou’s Undisputed Best Friend, having the longest and purest canon romantic relationship in the series (I am of course talking about him/soba), and playing a key role in one of the most beautifully executed family arcs I have ever seen, with his conflicted feelings about his father that are so layered that THEIR LAYERS HAVE LAYERS. and meanwhile his quirk kicks as much ass as ever. remember that one time Shouto almost burned Tetsutetsu alive. remember that other time he fucking annihilated Ending (“GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER”)?! and meanwhile he remains the goodest and purest child in the entire series, making sure Mt. Lady’s heart is okay, and offering his two friends internships without a second’s hesitation because THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS DO. it’s just what they do you guys.

5. Hawks (previous rank: n/a! welcome to the top ten kiddo.)

OH NO I LOVE A MURDERER WHAT A STUNNING INDICTMENT OF ME. send me off to jail. anyway so I have always liked Hawks, but the latest arc has sent him skyrocketing up through the ranks of my heart. not because of the murder thing, but... okay well but actually, it is because of the murder thing though. NOT BECAUSE I’M HAPPY HE KILLED A GUY WE ALL LOVED, jesus, but because of how well Horikoshi portrayed his struggle over it. he didn’t want to do it!! but he ended up having to in the end, and he paid one hell of a heavy price for it. and listen, but if you give me a character who is smart, who is compassionate, and who is one of the most mentally and physically capable characters we’ve seen in the series and yet simultaneously does not have even the slightest ounce of regard or self-preservation for his own mental health? a character who is tired, who is willing to make sacrifices up to and including the ultimate sacrifice for what he believes is the greater good? a character who is achingly alone and isolated in so much of what he has to go through, who doesn’t dare drop his guard ever, who’s not able or willing to share his burdens with anyone else? if you give me a character like that, and then ask me not to love him, it’s like. I am very sorry but I truly have no say in it at this point. he’s adopted. I’m sorry it’s the law.

6. Tomura (previous rank: n/a)

OH NO I LOVE TWO MURDERERS WHAT EVEN IS WRONG WITH ME. hahaha. so in between the time of now and when I last did a character ranking, Tomura had a flashback! and it was very traumatic! he was little and sweet and his dad was a dick and there was a lot of blood and gore and a dog died!! and then AFO was all “HELLO IT’S ME COME TO SWOOP IN AND ADOPT YOU AND ENCOURAGE YOU TO KILL STUFF AND ALSO HERE ARE YOUR DEAD FAMILY’S SEVERED BODY PARTS TO ADORN YOURSELF WITH SO YOU NEVER STOP FEELING MISERABLE.” and everyone sitting there reading was all, “well I’ll just come out and say it, I can sort of understand why he became a murderer now,” and we all agreed that yes, it did indeed make a great deal of sense, when you put it that way. anyway, so obviously you can’t not feel empathy toward the kid after all that, even if he is going around killing A WHOLE LOT MORE people now, and has basically gone batshit insane actually. I remain steadfast in my conviction that Tomura is not the actual final villain -- AFO is. and call me crazy, but in spite of everything, I still think this kid has a shot at redemption. it won’t be pretty, and it’ll be a long, long path, and he might not ever fully make it all the way, but he’s someone who’s been manipulated and used as a puppet his entire life, and I want him to have the chance to finally break free from that. hopefully he’ll get it.

7. Mirko (previous rank: n/a)

so previously this section just said “MIRKO!!!!!”, which I honestly think sums it up pretty well. I honestly can’t think of any other character who has come along and just slapped me straight across the face with their sheer awesomeness as much as her, though. every time she’s onscreen/on the page my face is just a huge grin the entire time. she is fearless. like, she’s the type of person who actually does laugh in the face of danger -- like that’s not just an expression, she will LITERALLY LAUGH. she is Peter Pan with a dagger to his throat, smiling and saying “to die would be an awfully big adventure.” she is someone who’s found her purpose in life and is thriving. Mirko has no time for your existential angst; she’s too busy kicking ass every minute of every hour of every day. I love her so, so much. thank you so much Horikoshi for being obsessed with her and making her the biggest badass in the whole series.

8. All Might (previous rank: 3)

I still adore him! he just has had next to nothing to do for what seems like forever, so the other characters who are still getting steady development are kind of just sneaking past him one by one. but he is still the absolute best. he cares so much. so, so, so, so much. he’s not always the most natural when it comes to being a teacher or a mentor, and he stumbles and makes mistakes, but he loves his kids. he cares about them so fiercely. and that’s far and away the most important thing, and it’s not even close. and he’s also just so endlessly self-sacrificing and constantly putting everyone else before himself, and it’s insane. he’s someone who is just constantly thinking, “how can I do more, how can I help more, what else can I do to try and make the world better” even as he stumbles along with half a lung, and struggles with his feelings of inadequacy and helplessness and feeling like it’s just still not enough. I want to give All Might the biggest hug in the world and tell him that it’s all right, that he did good, that the kids are going to be all right. when Aizawa told him “you being alive is enough” I almost had a breakdown tbh. anyway if I keep going I’m gonna talk myself into moving him back up the list and then I’ll have to rearrange this whole thing lol so suffice it to say, fuck yeah All Might.

9. Momo (previous rank: 7)

when is Momo gonna do more stuff, Horikoshi?? huh??! he does realize that whenever she does stuff it’s always amazing?? so why is she not just constantly doing amazing, awesome stuff all the time?? I don’t know, and frankly I’ve had just about enough of this. let Momo do stuff 2020. but I won’t talk about this anymore for now because I haven’t ready any chapter 278 spoilers and I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

(ETA: I HAVE READ CHAPTER 278 NOW AND ALL I CAN SAY IS YESSSSS!!! MOMO!!!! also I swear to god I genuinely had not seen any spoilers when I was writing this post lol, it was a total coincidence. I’m glad the “let Momo do stuff 2020″ campaign was so immediately successful though.)

10. Kaminari (previous rank: 8)

last but not least, my five-and-a-half-year-old traitor son, Kaminari Denki. he is just such a shining beam of light and life and goodness and chaos. there is this amazingly buoyant energy whenever he’s on the page that just fills me with love for him. I constantly just want to ruffle his hair, just, all the damn time. he is everybody’s friend, he loves them all so much, and he fearlessly calls Bakugou “Kacchan” heedless of the repercussions (OF WHICH THERE WERE NONE!!), and he sincerely tells Jirou that he’s in awe of her musical talents, and he wrecked his fingers learning to play guitar for her but he was happy to do it, and he was afraid to fight in the big ALL THE VILLAINS VS ALL THE HEROES battle because DUH!?! but he still did it anyway because he had to protect his friends. and his quirk and its side effects are constantly used for comic relief and not taken seriously at all (even though it’s actually insanely powerful holy shit), but he doesn’t care because he’s happy to make his friends happy. he’ll willingly be the butt of the joke if it means he gets to see them laugh. he just has such a big heart, and in all seriousness, if you think he’s the traitor I just don’t even know what to say to you.

so that’s it! Tokoyami, Ochako, Shinsou, Iida, and Sero would probably be the next five, with Endeavor, Toga, Mina, Jirou, and Mirio rounding out the top twenty. maybe not in that exact order but it’s close enough. really there are only like three characters in the series I actually truly dislike, so I’m honestly glad “top ten” is the general standard otherwise I’d be here all night running through them all lol.

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