All's Fair in Love & Chaos
1st instalment (read the second here)
a short blurb style mini-series in collaboration with @unstablereader
no real plot, just vibes and comedy.
Synopsis: soulmate au, everyone's soulmate's initials become visible on their wrist when the last person in the bond 'comes of age' (I've left the age ambiguous because their may be mature insinuations later on in the story). As luck would have it, and much to everyone's horror; it appeared that you, Barty Crouch Junior, and Sirius Black were soulmates
poly!DeathStar x fem!reader
The day that every witch, wizard, and wix alike waited their whole life for finally came for Sirius Black; the day that their soulmate’s initials became visible on your wrist.
The mark becomes visible when the last person of your soulmate bond comes of age. For example, much to Lily’s chagrin, the initials J.F.P became visible on her wrist on March 27th, as did the initials L.J.E on James’ wrist.
Much to Sirius’ chagrin, on June 25th, the initials R.A.B became visible on Remus’ wrist, as did the initials R.J.L on Regulus’.
And so it went for the rest of his friends and classmates.
Except for poor Pete, whose wrist adorned the initials of someone who - after much research and triple-checking by all of their friends - clearly didn’t go to Hogwarts.
Sometimes, however, soulmate bonds took place between more than two people, and though it was possible for it to happen among all blood statuses, the odds were higher amongst Pureblood’s.
So when Sirius woke up this morning to a weird burning/itching feeling on his wrist, only to see not one, but two sets of initials, he was feeling pretty chuffed.
That dissolved very quickly, however.
“No…. nononononononono.” He muttered in agony as he saw two people approaching him; one looking almost as horrified as he did and one looking awfully sinister.
“Well, well, well.” Barty Crouch Junior drawled as he made his way to the Gryffindor table, dragging you over with him - seemingly without your consent – by your arm. “I thought it must have been a mistake when I woke up to find out I had a Son Of a Bitch as a soulmate, but alas; here you are.”
“This can’t be.” Sirius whispered disbelievingly, causing Barty to cackle maniacally.
“Oh, but it is.”
Any words that Sirius had died on his lips at the wheezing of his younger brother.
You, Barty, and Sirius all turned to see Regulus hanging from Remus’ shoulder as he clutched his stomach.
“I…I – oh Salazar, I think I finally believe in gods! All of them! Oh…” He stuttered in between fits of laughter.
Sirius looked between him and his supposed best mate, but Remus only looked at Regulus as if Regulus was his most beautiful when he was laughing at the expense of his brother.
Bastards; the both of them.
“Happy birthday, Y/N!” James offered, his face clearly trying to smile though it took on a pained expression in comissery.
“Thank you…” You accepted timidly, eyes darting between the group of people you suddenly found yourself emmersed in.
“Now look what you’ve done, Black.” Barty sneered as if Sirius’ last name was a dirty word. “You’ve worried our poor girl.” He cooed as he pulled you tight into your side, causing you to squeak in surprise.
“I hardly think I’m the one worrying her.” Sirius sneered back.
Barty’s face turned stony. “Just what are you insinuating?”
“Uhm, that you’re certifiably insane?” Sirius responded simply.
“Oh, come now; Junior’s not that bad.” Remus tried to reason; his boyfriend still hanging limply off his shoulder as he tried (and failed) to repress his laughter.
“Not that bad?” Sirius screeched incredulously. “Did you not see what he did to Crawley?”
Peter snorted at that. “Mate, you literally did the same thing to Snape.”
“That was you?” Barty asked in surprise, looking Sirius up and down skeptically.
“Sure was.” James answered on his behalf.
“Huh.” Barty chuckled in thought. “That’s where I- never mind that. I only did that because he groped Y/N’s arse.”
Sirius felt his own face turn stony as he turned his attention to you. “Is this true?”
You seemed to pale at the attention. “Well…yes? But-”
“Ha ha. Black’s just as bad as me.” Barty sing-songed from beside you, looking at Sirius with a look of faux innocence.
Sirius heard a thump, and he looked over to see Remus looking behind the bench where Regulus had apparently fallen in his fit of laughter.
“I – I’ve died, yeah? I’m dead? Fuck, I must’ve done something right in my past life to be rewarded with this. Sirius is – is bonded to Barty Crouch Junior.” He howled with laughter, so uncharacteristic of the young, stoic Black.
“I am not!” Sirius argued petulantly. “I’m bonded to Y/N, Junior just…happens to be there.”
“If you’re only bonded to Y/N, why are my initials decorating your wrist, hm?” Barty asked salaciously, pulling Sirius’ wrist towards him to see the evidence for himself.
“Oh, sod off.” Sirius barked, shoving him aside and offering you an apologetic glance before storming towards the exit.
“Oi! Where are you going, future-Mr-Barty-Crouch-Junior!?” Barty taunted.
“To jump off the astronomy tower!” Sirius called back.
“Ou! We should go watch.” He said, turning to you before following Sirius out. “You should try to do a flip!”
“Oh, Y/N.” Lily cooed after the boys finally disappeared out of the Great Hall. “I’m so sorry.”
You let out a long-suffering sigh as your eyes stayed focused on the place where you last saw your two new soulmates. “If Regulus did something in a past life to be rewarded with this, I must have done something right horrid.”
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