One perfect thing about the trans Reg hc is that his family would still try to set him up with an 'eligible husband' and there is every chance that would be Evan so you can just imagine the conversation they have after their engagement is announced
Regulus: just wait until I tell your boyfriend about this, it'll be so funny
Evan: you just wait until I tell yours, I hear he's quite territorial
Regulus: okay shut up, I want a divorce already
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Evan leaned against the wall as he glared at Regulus and Barty who were currently making out in the middle of the party. He wasn't quite sure which one of them he was glaring at the moment. He was mad at both of them.
But James Potter walking up to him did not help his anger either.
"What the fuck do you want Potter?" Evan asked without looking over at the boy. Or rather up at the boy. Evan definitely would have had to look up. Potter was tall, and it did not help that Evan was almost as short as regulus.
"Are you going to have a proper conversation with me or are you going to continue starring daggers at the back of regulus' head," Potter asked.
Evan turned his head so fast he almost got a whiplash, his glare now fixed on Potter. "What do you want?" Evan asked again.
"To help you," Potter said honestly.
Evan snorted. "How could you help me."
James shrugged. "You like Barty and I like Regulus."
"And they're dating."
James nodded. "Fake dating."
Evan's cool uncaring anger demeanor changed instantly. "They're what?!" He choked out.
"Fake dating. To make us jealous."
"And how do you know this?" Evan asked, still trying to wrap his mind around it.
"Pete told me."
"Fuck."
You never doubted what Peter Pettigrew said. Ever. Especially about something like this.
James nodded.
"But back to my point, how are you going to help me?" Evan questioned.
"We fake date as well." James proposed.
Evan hesitated. And then he looked over to where Regulus and Barty were dancing and kissing and laughing. Evan looked back at James who was looking at him expectantly.
"I'll do it," Evan replied.
James' face broke into a grin.
"Oh thank merlin!" He exclaimed.
Evan rolled his eyes. "Don't get too excited there, Potter."
"Call me James. We're dating aren't we?" The taller boy said.
Evan couldn't help but laugh.
This was going to be fun.
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i need you to tell me about rosestarkillerchaser like they're a sales pitch please
You got it bestie *hiss* (I definitely didn't have to research what a sales pitch was, what are you talking about?)
Hey, you! Yeah, you, hi!
I'm gonna make it short, I'm *your mom haha*, I just saw you had a bunch of marauders on your feed, yeah? You like them? I really really do, especially Regulus.
And you know Reg, you know Reg! He's got a hard life, he deserved better, yada yada yada, so we got him a boyfriend, obviously; but love, what if I tell you there's better out there?
At PBAM INC, we've got the best value deals for rareships on the market. And I know what you're saying, you're saying "rareships? I already have James! I don't want to replaces him" and neither do we! That's why I'm here, today, to talk to you about rosestarkillerchaser.
I know it's a mouthful *corporate laugh* but that's also was Reg will say right before a night with them!
And well, between you and I, my love, who would want to deny Reg anything, yeah? Not me, that's for sure, and I know it's not you either!
With rskc - i'll shorten it for your pretty mouth - you could have everything you've ever wanted and a half for your sad, pathetic little wet sock of a blorbo.
Now imagine- please close your eyes, my love, and imagine. Regulus, poor Regulus. His mother's a bitch, Sirius doesn't want to be around him anymore. Barty and Evan tell him to stay away from the Gryffindors, but James slithers past their watch. He's hot, Reg knows it. And Barty, he's so determined to protect his best friend, yeah? Because he loves Evan, and he loves Reg too, in equal measure, and he want to hate James. But James is soft touches and starlit eyes and everything Regulus ever wanted and well, how can one guy be so likeable? Barty, by virtue of well-intentioned protectiveness, finds in James what Regulus saw in him, with his pretty eyes and the dimples on his cheeks. In an effort to hate James Potter, he falls in love with him.
And you might be thinking, "how is this beneficial to James? He deserves full love and attention too, my boy" and I agree with you! But I assure you, beautiful, that Barty bites, and he bites hard. He'll bite him too, when the time comes. Wouldn't you love, to ask, a reprimand, "Barty, have you been biting?" And he would look around sheepishly, but you, you wonderful soul, you could look James in the eyes, and he would uncross his arms from behind his back and tell you "I don't mind" when his arms are bloody and bruised. Isn't that the most wonderful thing you've heard today?
Of course, we're not robbing Barty of a proper, full time boyfriend. See, you and I, we need to make sure the dog is on his leash - and if that leash is called Evan Rosier, oh, what can we do but rejoice? And Evan can have Regulus, too, in the quiet ways that Barty and James don't allow themselves. He is masterfully calm, and when I say the guys will team up to make him lose his composure, it's a once in a lifetime deal I'm selling you.
The AU potential is immense too! Vampire: three mean, mean dudes to bully one poor human, yummy! Royal : the more roles the merrier! The drama! College: do I even need to say it? Cowboy, Band, Band! The band au where all of them are boyfriends! Were you expecting it? Because I can deliver it to you, right at your front door!
Our boys have so much potential, don't you see? James' unforgiving hero complex, Regulus, a self appointed marty, Barty who can Make Himself Worse and Evan who hides as much venom in his veins as the rest of them: don't you see how great they can be?
That's why I'm here right now, lover, so hear me out; for the feeble price or free-ninety-nine and a kiss on the forehead, monthly rskc delivered, right under your doorbell, for your own pleasure. It's been approved and mandated by the SONS, the RPA and even the CBTPC, and I have the best deals, today, on the market, even wholesalers and resellers. It's a steal, don't miss out on it!
Here's my card, I'll be waiting for your call, yeah? Remember, PBAM, okay? Have a great day, lover, and with every great day, comes a great ship! Toodles~
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