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thyme-in-a-bubble · 3 months

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the pained peace treaty

fused with the foe, chapter one

a/n: oh wow, i have no idea how to introduce this beast of a story except to say hi, hello, welcome! i really hope you enjoy this story, as well as the rest of the trilogy, idk if i've ever gone as in depth and all out with any story as i have with these.

summary: “now, everything is already set into motion, so we don’t have time for any of your theatrics,” not looking you in the eye, he frostily told you, “you are to be married. A carriage has just arrived a few minutes ago to pick you up and transport you to Eflorr.”

warnings: king!steve rogers x reader, fantasy AU (monsters, but not much magic), original fantasy world, enemies to lovers, arranged marriage, slow burn, innocent!reader, abusive father (like super bad. he is a garbage person), wedding, blood, injury

word count: 4813

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“Your majesty, I must warn you, if, gods forbid, our people come to discover the great lengths you’ve been willing to go in this disagreement over the past two decades, they might start an uprising. And if you keep going, then it’ll turn into a full-blown war and you know our kingdom wouldn’t be able to survive that, not with them. Our city’s walls may be high, high enough to keep out any beasts that may wander this far south, but it wouldn’t keep them out. You know better than most how people from Eflorr are. If you don’t wanna lose your crown, one way or another, then I’d strongly advise that we come up with some peace treaty.”

“I know, I know…” King Ivan leaned back in his gilded throne with a huff, the quality of his voice was as thin as his towering frame, “a trade I think should suffice.”

A different advisor then timidly pipped up, “but our mines ran cold ages ago, what could we possibly offer that would be satisfactory?”

Not lifting his cold gaze, the king stared at a fixed spot on the marble floor as he said, “I know one thing the king lacks that we may be able to provide for him… a wife.”

“A wife–,” both of the men’s eyes grew wide, “but do you mean–, your majesty, she is your only daughter, are you certain this is the fate you want her to have? Those people are barbaric! If one of the dangers that rule the north doesn’t get to her first, one of their citizens surely will. Sire, what if history repeats itself?”

“Then let it do so. In fact, perhaps this could have been her purpose all along and I just didn’t realise it. Couldn’t see past my own rage to grasp how useful she actually could be…”

Sharing a nervous glance, one of the advisors asked, “should we send for her? See if she agrees with the plans?”

“No, I’ll tell her when the time is right. Wouldn’t want her to do anything stupid and ruin the one good thing she could ever provide,” finally lifting his stony gaze, the king commanded, “make the arrangements, I’ll see to it that she doesn’t ruin it.”

Deep within the opulent halls of the gilded palace, standing grand and safe behind Ingorn’s tall city walls, twisting up towards the clouds, up in a window in the western tower, there you sat.

Book in your lap, you leaned back against the small pillow you’d propped behind you to make the wide windowsill more comfortable. Small paper butterflies hung from strings above and some dangled so low that the childhood craft that still decorated your window trickled the crown of your head. Flipping the page, your fingertips brushed down over the illustration that appeared in the agricultural tome you’d found in one of your brothers’ rooms.

As long as you put it back before Angus returned then you’d probably be good. And if he were to somehow notice, then as long as he didn’t rat you out to your father then it would be alright. Both Angus and a few of the others that were closer to your age, Oliver and Francis respectively, were always a bit of a gamble whether or not they would do such a thing. They didn’t always have the same spirit as the eldest pair of your older brothers, Xavier and Callum.

You missed them so much your heart ached. The older they got, the longer their diplomatic missions seemed to stretch out, making the quiet palace that much more lonely in your solitude.

A knock then suddenly boomed at your door, causing you to jump edgily in your seat before you slammed the book shut and nervously stuffed it behind the firm pillow.

“Come in!” you called out, swiftly straightening out your dress that had crumbled around your legs at the comfortable seat. As the door to your room slammed open, the figure that stood in it caught you by surprise, “Father–, oh, hello,” you straightened your posture that much further at his arrival.

Skipping over any niceties, King Ivan simply stated, “you need to pack up your stuff.”

Your brows knitted into a fierce furrow, “what?”

“Not everything, of course,” he cast a cold glance around the room though didn’t take a step to enter it, “just the things you are particularly attached to.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand,” your head lightly shook from side to side, “where am I going?”

When his eyes finally gave you the time of day, it swiftly dropped to the floor as a heavy sigh flowed from his lips, “why do you have to be the spitting image of her…” the muttering was unfortunately just loud enough for your ears to catch. His disappointment was always just loud enough for your ears to catch. When he entered the room and you moved to get up, he swiftly said, “stay seated, Y/n,” before he planted himself next to you on the wide windowsill, “now, everything is already set into motion, so we don’t have time for any of your theatrics,” not looking you in the eye, he frostily told you, “you are to be married. A carriage has just arrived a few minutes ago to pick you up and transport you to Eflorr.”

“To Eflorr?” your gaze grew wide, “you wish for me to marry someone there?”

“Not just someone, you are to marry their king.”

“I–… I–…” your chest rose and fell rapidly beneath your rosy dress, “but father, you can’t–, I can’t go live with the people who killed mom.”

“We don’t know if they actually murdered her. But I do know that you did,” his glare locked upon you as he let himself seethe, “if you hadn’t been born then she’d still be alive,” the fact that the only thing he blamed more for his late wife’s untimely demise then the kingdom she’d perished in was you, remained a point that the sovereign had never been shy about sharing with you for as long as you could recall, “your duty is to protect and serve this land, this crown,” your eyes naturally fluttered up to gaze at the twisted gold balanced upon his head, “if you don’t go through with this, then those savages will come pillage and ruin your home. You are, regrettably, the very last hope this kingdom has of survival. You have no choice, Y/n. This marriage is the only thing that can stop a war we would never survive,” exhaling slowly, he then dominantly nodded in a concluding fashion, “pack your stuff, you have an hour.”

You felt tears sting your eyes as your bottom lip quivered, “an hour? But–, can’t we wait at least a few days before I leave? Can’t I get a chance to say goodbye to at least one of my brothers? None of them are home yet.”

Regret instantly washed over you as your father’s nostrils flared angrily. Seizing your arm in a bruising grip, he yanked you close as he hissed, “you listen, and you listen carefully, you little brat. You have been the bane of my existence ever since you took your first breath. You took away the love of my life. You don’t deserve a goodbye, you don’t deserve anything. Do you think I got a goodbye when your mother suddenly went into labour on that diplomatic mission? No. All I got was you. Not another son, but a living, breathing reminder of what I lost that day,” your eyes squeezed shut as your cheek tingled at the memory of his strikes, “now, be a good girl and go wet his prick, give him a few babies, do anything he’d fucking please, so that him and his barbaric army doesn’t come here and slaughter everything you know and love.”

“Your highness, are you cold?” the high-ranking warden sitting across from you in the carriage noticed the shiver that your body couldn’t seem to shake.

Tearing your eyes off of the scenery along The Emerald Path that the narrow window granted you a view of, you glanced back at the warrior. The brown hair he had practically tied off at the base of his neck blossomed into a dark beard. A bare palm clasped over an inked one in his lap as you met his gaze and said, “no, I’m–…” in truth, you were scared, so scared that you were trembling like a leaf, but you couldn’t tell the foreign king’s advisor that, too much weighted on your shoulders, you couldn’t screw this up, “no,” glancing back out of the window, you only stared a moment at the sparse cottages that slowly came into view on the rolling hills before you turned your head again and let the nauseating nerves control your words, “pardon me, Barnes, is it?”

“Yes, your highness?”

“Sir, how much further till we get there?” your quiet voice echoed within the carriage, “it’s just–, it’s been days.”

“Oh, not long at all,” he shook his head lightly, “actually,” the knight leaned forward in his seat and cast his glance outside, “if you look out the window now, right there,” a small smile tugged at his lips as his finger shot up to point, “that river, that means we’re getting close to Borün city.”

As the river then suddenly curved before the dirt road, the clomping hooves of the horses that hauled the coach resonated as they trotted over a stone bridge.

Twisting your head, you glanced out to your right and spotted farmlands curve over the rolling hills that swiftly blossomed into thickets and towering flora you’d only assume was the southern perimeter of The Noll Woods. Books about this kingdom had been banned in your homeland for as long as you could remember, but even though you were essentially going in blind, you still weren’t completely ignorant when it came to the dangers that called that sprawling forest its home, not that you were an expert in the slightest, but your brothers had from time to time told you tales of the monsters who dominated in this part. From giant and twisted insect-like creatures, to mischievous pixies, to even the rare dragon, those stories had always been your favourite. Apart from the rare occasion where Callum would share stories with you about your mother. Being the eldest, he was the only one who truly remembered her.

Instinctively, your fingers fluttered up to fiddle with the opalescent stone that hung from a chain around your neck. In the middle of the milky jewel was a small rune engraved into it. You had no idea what it meant, but your fingers had still traced the carving countless of times before as it had hung from your neck for as long as you could recall. It hadn’t been till you were a ways into your teens that you’d come to discover that it had belonged to your mother.

Casting your glance out the other side as you passed a tall watchtower, behind the wide city stables unfolded a port town so quaint that it surprised you. Over the small valley of gabled roofs towered a central tree, and beyond all of that, the sparkle of the sea caught your eye, a sight you’d never beheld before, haven not only stemmed from a landlocked metropolis, but also not haven been permitted to leave your room as much as your heart had desired.

“This is Eflorr?” you asked as the carriage began to roll up the winding path to the stone castle that loomed on the cliff, granting you a new view of how the river that you’d crossed slid through the city and spilt into the ocean.

“This is Eflorr, your highness,” the corners of his lips twitched at the sight of how wide your curious eyes were.

“It’s–… it’s–…” your stare danced over the lush ivy that climbed the solid towers, “not what I expected…”

“What did you expect?”

Tearing your gaze away from the window, you blinked, “oh, I didn’t mean–,” suddenly worried that your shock had come out sounding rude, “I just–… I don’t know a lot about this land,” in the few tales you’d heard about this place, there had been a running gag that the people of Eflorr had lived so close to the dangerous beasts that called this part of the continent their home that they too had turned into monsters, “it’s just different than I imagined.”

Ascending the jagged hill and passing through the front gate, it opened up into a wide courtyard before you felt the carriage finally roll to a stop.

The wagon creaked gently as Barnes stepped out first, though when his boots were firmly on the cobblestone, his frame twisted as he reached an outstretched hand back for you to grasp in support of your own exit. Ever so apprehensively, you slid your own palm into his as your other twisted in your long skirts before you slipped out of the carriage.

Letting go of his gasp, the soldier's low timbre washed over you as your head tilted back to take in the vast stronghold, “his majesty, unfortunately, couldn’t be here for your arrival as there was a bit of a dryad problem further up north he had to take care of,” you gaze tore away from the fort and fell upon him, “but I assure you he should be back in time for the wedding.”

“Oh, alright,” you breathed, unsure if that fact made you feel better or worse about the entire predicament.

“If you’d like, I can give you a brief tour of the castle,” he offered as he led you towards the main entrance into the castle proper, “or if you’re exhausted after the journey, then I can just show you directly up to your chambers.”

Offering him a polite smile, you nodded, “a tour would be lovely, thank you.”

He only briefly went over the buildings surrounding the courtyard you’d entered into, as they were mainly designed as barracks and various other facilities for the local wardens, though the horses that stuck their heads out of the royal stalls in the corner did catch your eye before you moved on inside.

Barnes’ voice echoed in most of the chambers he showed you in the castle’s western wing. The vast stained-glass windows that were in the ballroom for instance took your breath away as you saw how the light streamed through them and warmed up the room with glittering little rays of colour.

Behind the great halls, squeezed in between and connecting the two major parts of the fort, there you crossed through a much more quiet and lush courtyard. The pebble paths that curved around the central fountain too curled around various topiary bushes that were trimmed to perfection like living sculptures.

Though as your guide showed you the eastern wing that crested over the foaming sea below, your curiosity got the better of you.

“Hey, Barnes?”

Slowing his leisurely stride, he tilted his head slightly, “yes, your highness?”

“What are dryads?” your brows knit lightly together, “you mentioned there was a problem with them, but what are they?”

“You don’t know?” he glanced over at you, clearly trying to mask his surprise as you shook your head, “oh, well, they are forest spirits, nymphs,” he explained as you roamed deeper down a broad hallway on the second floor, passing many private chambers both to your right and your left, “it’s not uncommon for them to wander and bother the folks who live further up the coast. Have you never encountered one? They are not as uncommon in Obelón as most of the other creatures that thrive this far north.”

“No, I’ve never seen one…” you shook your head as a low sigh flowed from your lips, “never really seen anything…”

“Not much of an outdoorsy person?” he guessed in a light-hearted tone.

Forcing a smile, you replied, “you could say that…” as you hadn’t been allowed to be one even if you wanted to. Passing a set of double doors that stood wide open, the sight inside made you halt your steps, “is this the library?”

Shadowing you as your feet crossed the threshold, he nodded, “yes, it is,” then pointed back over his shoulder, “and your quarters are right down that hall.”

Numerous grand bookcases stood lined up all the way down to where a tall window allowed the sunlight in and let it stream through the rows.

“Can I–… would it be alright if I read some of them?”

“Of course, your highness.”

“Would you mind showing me which ones I’m allowed to read?” you briefly peeked back at him as a bubble of anxiety fluttered in your belly, “I don’t wanna accidentally read something that I’m not allowed to.”

Barnes then blinked back at you a moment before he uttered, “your highness, you can read each and every one of them if you’d like. Why wouldn’t you be allowed to read whatever you wish? They are yours after all, or will be after the wedding,” the corners of your lips twitched upwards as he then asked, “would you like to peruse the titles now or do you want to see your chambers?”

“Oh, uhm,” you tore your gaze away from the tomes and turned back, “I’ll look later.”

“Alright,” he nodded, extending his inked arm to show you the way. As he pushed the heavy wooden door open to the room at the very end of the hall, his voice rang out once more, “this is the peacock suite,” following him inside, he settled to a stop near the exit for you to explore the space on your own, “you can, of course, change anything you’d like for it to match your taste.”

“Thank you,” you breathed as you slowly made your way deeper into the chamber. It was gently divided with a more formal area towards the front where both tufted couches and a crackling fireplace stood, as well as a set of doors that opened up to a quaint balcony. Towards the left, under a swirling archway, twisted a broad canopy bed up towards the tall ceilings, warm with blankets and furs, and in the corner, by a breezy partition, stood a deep cobber bathtub.

Haven not noticed that he’d moved, you then heard as Barnes creaked the doors to a close, “if you need anything, anything at all, I’ll be right outside.”

With a loud creak, the heavy double doors opened before you and revealed the grand hall. As soft music gushed out, you nearly didn’t recognise the space from your tour the other day as it was now decorated with vibrant flowers and flowing banners that dropped down from the high ceilings above, as well as being completely packed with a swarm of people. A thin path parted the giddy crowd right down the middle towards the opposing grand door that guards opened simultaneously to yours.

A shaky breath filled your lungs as you stared at the man crossing over the threshold. The flickering candlelight caught the honeyed shine of the locks that came down to tickle the nape of his neck. A bit darker, his short beard was full and warmed up the bottom half of his gruff features. He sure looked like a man who could slay a kraken with his bare fists, as the soft fur cloak that draped over his shoulders did not conceal his bulky physic one bit. The neckline of his indigo tunic stretched low enough for you to see the concave of his fuzzy chest and the impressive battle scars that broke up the rippling flesh.

You’d seen the portrait of the king that hung in the hallway that stretched up towards the throne room, but to see him before your very eyes, in flesh and blood and not precise paint, was something else entirely.

The long and embroidered train of the blue silk kirtle you wore dragged across the store floor behind you as both you and the monarch slowly stepped into the chamber to join in the very middle.

The enchanting music stopped as you reached one another and the parted paths to either exit slowly closed as the crowd gathered and enclosed around the sacred vow that was about to ensue.

Parting the sea of people like a divine force, an elderly woman, with a braided grey mane so long that it hit the floor, stepped up beside the both of you.

“People of Eflorr,” the crone’s calm voice boomed, “today marks a day of unity, a day of peace, and most of all a day of love. Like a seed planted in the soil, tonight we will all witness this relationship blossom and go on the journey of growing into a magnificent tree, with roots strong enough to endure any storm, to propagate new seedlings that will watch over and shade our kingdom when yours have fallen.”

Looking to the king, she handed him a small dagger from her belt and spoke, “blade across skin,” and he reached out for your right hand, “strike out your seedling’s love line,” your breath hitched as you felt him slice the top of your palm. Crimson blood trickled down onto his own hand as yours rested atop it, “and claim it as your own,” he flipped the blade around and handed it to you, before presenting you his own palm, open in yours. He didn’t even blink as you hesitantly pierced the calloused skin and traced the line already adoring his broad palm, “weave your lines together, so they become the same,” he then moved to clasp your hands together, his wide grip engulfed yours completely. Your teeth sank into just the faintest bit of your bottom lip at the fresh sting of your wound as it bled into his, “and may this scar serve you as a reminder, of the vow you made on this momentous day.”

And as the last of the matron's words flowed from her lips so did the roar of celebration that erupted throughout the crowd as the festivities of the night bloomed at an instant.

The feast had been nothing short of immaculate. Countless of dishes had been spread out on the crowded banquet tables ranging from the savoury braised legumes to the sweet and shiny pies. It was an impossible task to try and taste every one of them, but an excuse you still used to stay glued to your seat and not get up and mingle with the boisterous gathering of strangers.

As a stark contrast, you thought you only noticed the king take two bites before he rose to greet some latecomers who had arrived. Laughing and chatting with the sea of people, he hadn’t offered you a single word, barely even a brief glance the whole night. Though your gaze still followed him from your seat up at the high table as he moved through the crowd like they were all his dearest friends.

When the moon had floated up to be high in the sky, clearly visible on the other side of the stained glass, your head had dropped down into a propped-up palm as a deep yawn forced its way out of your frame.

“Are you tired, your majesty?” a deep timbre suddenly found your ears, a specific tone that caused your spine to straighten out at once.

Whipping your head to your right, your weary eyes grew wide as you saw the king again at his seat, “no, I’m alright,” you hastily coughed out, “I’m so sorry for behaving like that in your presence. This party is exquisite.”

“It’s alright, you can yawn,” you suddenly felt the need to look away now that his ocean stare was finally fixed upon you, “it’s late, I was about to retire for the night as well, so I can only imagine how you must feel. If you’d like, I could escort you back to your chambers. I’m not sure how familiar you’ve become with the castle since you’ve arrived, but even I can still get lost when the corridors are this dark and I’ve indulged in perhaps one too many goblets of wine.”

A flutter of nauseating nerves rushed within your belly, but even so, you still pushed through and forced a smile, “if that’s what the king desires, then sure, you can escort me.”

It was your wedding night. You knew what was about to happen.

Or, actually, you didn’t quite know what the marital act entailed, but you were sure a man such as Steve had enough of an understanding to take charge. All you knew was what little you’d been told. To strip down naked, not whine or scream, and do as he tells you.

The soaring butterflies within you only grew more ferocious as you followed his long stride throughout the castle. Out of the ballroom and through a cold stone hallway, when you crossed the bridge that linked the two wings over a part of the cliff that descended dramatically, you nearly doubled over the parapet to empty your stomach over the town of Borün that blossomed below.

But with a shaky intake of breath, your fist closed around the silk of your skirt as you settled yourself and forced your feet to keep moving. Even as you passed the threshold into the eastern part of the castle, you still shadowed the monarch up the many steps until his broad palm held the door to your chambers open for you to enter.

The fire had been lit while you were gone, and the room was encased in the warm glow.

“Did, uh…” you heard the door close behind you as the king attempted a bit of small talk, “did you have a nice time tonight?”

“I did, your majesty,” you kept your answer brief out of fear that he’d hear the tremble to your tone.

Slowly turning his back to you, his gaze washed over the room, “are you pleased with your bed chambers?” he settled to face the balcony, the door slightly ajar to let the night breeze seep through and rustle the sheer curtains, “because if you don’t like it, if you’d rather have a view of the town then the sea, then that’s an easy problem to fix.”

“I think the view is just fine from here, but thank you,” you answered politely as you gathered up the last bit of your courage and reached back to undo the long row of buttons that went down the spine of the light blue dress.

When the silky garment dropped to the floor, the quiet rustle was enough to draw the king’s attention.

First offering you just a quick glance over his shoulder, he then swiftly whirled around completely, “what are you doing?”

Weaving your fingers in the thin material of your chemise, you blinked back at his stunned features, “I’m sorry, am I doing it wrong?” sure that he could already see everything through the sheer, white fabric.

His feet didn’t move as he asked, “what are trying to do?” before he averted his gaze to the stone floor.

“Well,” you uttered quietly, “it’s our wedding night.”

“Oh…” was all he breathed.

“To be transparent, I’m actually not quite sure what’s to happen, but I do know it’s something,” reaching up, you took the gold and twisted circlet, that crowned your head, off and carefully sat it down on the side table to your left, “I don’t know the details, I just know that I should strip down. Do you know what we’re supposed to do?”

“Fuck,” he cursed, briefly squeezing his eyes shut, “yes I do, but, your majesty, please, keep your clothes on,” his gaze flickered back to you as you slowly began to hike up the last layer.

“Why?” your fingers froze, “isn’t it a tradition here for us to–”

“Well, yes, but–…” he let out a strained sigh before slowly stating, “I’m gonna go.”

A chill crawled up your skin, “…oh, I see…” you uttered quietly as he crossed the room, “did I do something wrong?”

Halting in the doorway as he ripped it open, “no, you–…” but the rest of his words crumbled as his gaze settled upon you one last time, instead letting a low sigh flow from his lungs, “sleep well,” and added nearly subconsciously just before the door slammed shut, “goodnight, dove.”

Even though a wave of relief washed over you, a sting of hurt also followed suit as the king left.

Had you done something wrong, or did he just find you that repellent, that hideous, that he refused to perform his marital duties?

391 notes · View notes

gffa · 28 days

Note

could you give your opinion, or examples from canon, about balance and the light and dark sides of the force? I keep running across fics where people argue that the Jedi are wrong and the dark side is just as necessary, and I feel like canon was clear that’s not what balance means in the Star Wars universe

Hi! First off, I'll say that I would recommend going around arguing with people's fic (not you're necessarily planning to do this! just that I think it's a good reminder), because those people must be allowed their space in fandom, just as we're allowed our space in fandom. I have found that I actually have a much better time in fandom when I'm just in my own space doing my own thing and ultimately this is just fandom, what other people do in their fic, so long as it's not hurting real people, is their choice and not mine, if I let that kind of thing go, it gives me more time to have fun with the things I do enjoy.

That said, sometimes we often get people coming into our spaces to argue and I do like to have my citations ready when it comes to that. Within canon, you're always going to be able to argue about unreliable narrators, even when you point out that all the Force-using dark siders are pretty much miserable villains, there's going to be people who argue.

And one thing that's tricky in my opinion is that the dark side is "necessary" in that it exists. It will always exist. It exists within the Jedi--but they have never denied that it exists or that it's part of life. It's just that they don't embrace it, they don't let it bite into their heart, because Yoda's speech in The Phantom Menace is 100% accurate. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.

And if people want to argue about in-canon stuff like that, my response is usually just to go, "I tend to follow George Lucas' Star Wars." and leave room for others to enjoy Star Wars from other creators, if they wish. It's not a value judgement, if someone wants to enjoy something from the Legends continuity--that's what it's there for! And it's not my place to tell them that they're not allowed to enjoy it or follow that version instead. I hope they're having a blast! We'll just agree that we're working with incompatible views on authorial intentions priorities. People are not obligated to take Lucas' commentary with the same weight that I do, so I always advise that we learn to let go of things when someone doesn't hold the same views as we do on this kind of thing, because ultimately that is the message of Star Wars!

SO, THE DARK SIDE, here's what George Lucas directly has said about it:

“The core of the Force–I mean, you got the dark side, the light side, one is selfless, one is selfish, and you wanna keep them in balance. What happens when you go to the dark side is it goes out of balance and you get really selfish and you forget about everybody … because when you get selfish you get stuff, or you want stuff, and when you want stuff and you get stuff then you are afraid somebody is going to take it away from you, whether it’s a person or a thing or a particular pleasure or experience. "Once you become afraid that somebody’s going to take it away from you or you’re gonna lose it, then you start to become angry, especially if you’re losing it, and that anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering. Mostly on the part of the person who’s selfish, because you spend all your time being afraid of losing everything you’ve got instead of actually living. "Where joy, by giving to other people you can’t think about yourself, and therefore there’s no pain. But the pleasure factor of greed and of selfishness is a short-lived experience, therefore you’re constantly trying to replenish it, but of course the more you replenish it, the harder it is to, so you have to keep upping the ante. You’re actually afraid of the pain of not having the joy. "So that is ultimately the core of the whole dark side/light side of the Force. And everything flows from that. Obviously the Sith are always unhappy because they never get enough of anything they want. Mostly, their selfishness centers around power and control. And the struggle is always to be able to let go of all that stuff. "And of course that’s the problem with Anakin ultimately. You’re allowed to love people, but you’re not allowed to possess them. And what he did is he fell in love and married her and then became jealous. Then he saw in his visions that she was going to die, and he couldn’t stand losing her. So in order to not lose her, he made a pact with the devil to be able to become all-powerful. When he did that, she didn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore, so he lost her. "Once you are powerful, being able to bring her back from the dead, if I can do that, I can become emperor of the universe. I can get rid of the Emperor. I can make everything the way I want it. Once you do that, you’ll never be satiated. You’re always going to be consumed by this driving desire to have more stuff and be afraid that others are going to take it away from you. And they are. Every time you get two Sith together, you have the master, the apprentice, and the apprentice is always trying to recruit another apprentice to join with him to kill the master. The master knows that basically everybody below him wants his job. “Only way to overcome the dark side is through discipline. The dark side is pleasure, biological and temporary and easy to achieve. The light side is joy, everlasting and difficult to achieve. A great challenge. Must overcome laziness, give up quick pleasures, and overcome fear which leads to hate.” –George Lucas, Clone Wars Writers’ Meeting

“Happiness is pleasure and happiness is joy. It can be either one, you add them up and it can be the uber category of happiness. “Pleasure is short lived. It lasts an hour, it lasts a minute, it lasts a month. It peaks and then it goes down–it peaks very high, but the next time you want to get that same peak you have to do it twice as much. It’s like drugs, you have to keep doing it because it insulates itself. No matter what it is, whether you’re shopping or you’re engaged in any other kind of pleasure. It all has the same quality about it. “On the other hand is joy and joy is the thing that doesn’t go as high as pleasure, in terms of your emotional reaction. But it stays with you. Joy is something you can recall, pleasure you can’t. So the secret is that, even though it’s not as intense as pleasure, the joy will last you a lot longer. “People who get the pleasure they keep saying, ‘Well, if I can just get richer and get more cars–!’ You’ll never relive the moment you got your first car, that’s it, that’s the highest peak. Yes, you could get three Ferraris and a new gulf stream jet and maybe you’ll get close. But you have to keep going and eventually you’ll run out. You just can’t do it, it doesn’t work. “If you’re trying to sustain that level of peak pleasure, you’re doomed. It’s a very American idea, but it just can’t happen. You just let it go. Peak. Break. Pleasure is fun it’s great, but you can’t keep it going forever. “Just accept the fact that it’s here and it’s gone, and maybe again it’ll come back and you’ll get to do it again. Joy lasts forever. Pleasure is purely self-centered. It’s all about your pleasure, it’s about you. It’s a selfish self-centered emotion, that’s created by self-centered motive of greed. “Joy is compassion, joy is giving yourself to somebody else or something else. And it’s the kind of thing that is in it’s subtlty and lowness more powerful than pleasure. If you get hung up on pleasure you’re doomed. If you pursue joy you will find everlasting happiness.” --George Lucas, Academy of Achievement Speech, 2013

"Knowing that the film was made for a young audience, I was trying to say, in a simple way, that there is a God and that there is both a good side and a bad side. You have a choice between them, but the world works better if you're on the good side." --George Lucas Interviews

”[The Jedi] trained more than anything else to understand the transitional nature of life, that things are constantly changing and you can’t hold on to anything. You can love things but you can’t be attached to them, You must be willing to let the flow of life and the flow of the Force move through your life, move through you. So that you can be compassionate and loving and caring, but not be possessive and grabbing and holding on to things and trying to keep things the way they are. Letting go is the central theme of the film.“ –George Lucas, Star Wars Archives 1999-2005

BILL MOYERS: “Do you know yet what, in a future episode, is going to transform Anakin Skywalker to the dark side?” GEORGE LUCAS: “Yes, I know what that is. The groundwork has been laid in this episode. The film is ultimately about the dark side and the light side, and those sides are designed around compassion and greed. The issue of greed, of getting things and owning things and having things and not being able to let go of things, is the opposite of compassion–of not thinking of yourself all the time. These are the two sides–the good force and the bad force. They’re the simplest parts of a complex cosmic construction.” --George Lucas and Bill Moyers 1999, Time Magazine

“The core issue, ultimately, is greed, possessiveness - the inability to let go. Not only to hold on to material things, which is greed, but to hold on to life, to the people you love - to not accept the reality of life’s passages and changes, which is to say things come, things go. Everything changes. Anakin becomes emotionally attached to things, his mother, his wife. That’s why he falls - because he does not have the ability to let go. “No human can let go. It’s very hard. Ultimately, we do let go because it’s inevitable; you do die, and you do lose your loved ones. But while you’re alive, you can’t be obsessed with holding on. As Yoda says in this one, [The scene in which Anakin seeks Yoda’s counsel] You must learn to let go of everything you’re afraid to let go of.’ Because holding on is in the same category and the precursor to greed. And that’s what a Sith is. A Sith is somebody that is absolutely obsessed with gaining more and more power - but for what? Nothing, except that it becomes an obsession to get more. The Jedi are trained to let go. They’re trained from birth, they’re not supposed to form attachments. They can love people- in fact, they should love everybody. They should love their enemies; they should love the Sith. But they can’t form attachments. So, what all these movies are about is: greed. Greed is a source of pain and suffering for everybody. And the ultimate state of greed is the desire to cheat death.” --George Lucas, The Making of Revenge of the Sith, 2005

“The thing about Anakin is, Anakin started out as a nice kid. He was kind, and sweet, and lovely, and he was then trained as a Jedi. But the Jedi can’t be selfish. They can love but they can’t love people to the point of possession. You can’t really possess somebody, because people are free. It’s possession that causes a lot of trouble, and that causes people to kill people, and causes people to be bad. Ultimately it has to do with being unwilling to give things up. “The whole basis here is if you’re selfish, if you’re a Sith Lord, you’re greedy. You’re constantly trying to get something. And you’re constantly in fear of not getting it, or, when you get it, you’re in constant fear of losing it. And it’s that fear that takes you to the dark side. It’s that fear of losing what you have or want.

“Sometimes it’s ambition, but sometimes, like in the case of Anakin, it was fear of losing his wife. He knew she was going to die. He didn’t quite know how, so he was able to make a pact with a devil that if he could learn how to keep people from dying, he would help the Emperor. And he became a Sith Lord. Once he started saying, “Well, we could take over the galaxy, I could take over from the Emperor, I could have ultimate power,” Padmé saw right through him immediately. She said, “You’re not the person I married. You’re a greedy person.” So that’s ultimately how he fell and he went to the dark side. “And then Luke had the chance to do the same thing. He didn’t do it.” --George Lucas, The Phantom Menace, An Oral History, 2019

“The secret ultimately like in Star Wars is that you have to not be afraid. Fear is the enemy; fear is the Dark Side. If you afraid, you are going to the Dark Side. The Light Side is compassion. As long as you love other people and treat them kindly, you won’t be afraid. So, the secret is to just love everybody - I know that sounds very 60s but that’s what I grew up in - but it its fear that cause the problem. So you have to stop being afraid and be kind to everybody. “The main theme of Star Wars is that compassion is the good side, fear is the bad side.” --George Lucas, Mellody Hobson George Lucas - Virtual Speaker Interview, 2021

“The thing with Anakin is that he started out a great kid he was very compassionate, so the issue was how did he turn bad. How did he go to the Dark Side? He went to the Dark Side, Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments. They can love people, they can do that, but they can’t attach, that’s the problem in the world of fear. Once you are attached to something then you become afraid of losing it. And when you become afraid of losing it, than you turn to the Dark Side, and you want to hold onto it, and that was Anakin’s issue ultimately, that he wanted to hold onto his wife who he knew, he had a premonition that she was going to die, he didn’t know how to stop it, so he went to the Dark Side to find, in mythology you do to hades, and you talk to the devil, and the devil says ‘this is what you do’ and basically you sell your soul to the devil. When you do that, and you’re afraid and you’re on the Dark Side and you fall off the golden path of compassion because you are greedy, you want to hold on to something that you love and he didn’t do the right thing and as a result he turned bad.” --George Lucas, Mellody Hobson George Lucas - Virtual Speaker Interview, 2021

“Obviously, there are people that just do the easy thing, and the easy thing is to be angry, which turns to hate. It’s not an active thing; it’s a passive thing. Being angry with somebody is a passive thing. You have to work not to be angry, and if you don’t work at it, you’ll just be angry for the rest of your life. Bitter, angry, and of course that leads to suffering - it’s the bad side.” --George Lucas, The Star Wars Archives: 1999-2005

“In this film, [The Phantom Menace] you begin to see that he has a fear of losing things, a fear of losing his mother, and as a result, he wants to begin to control things, he wants to become powerful, and these are not Jedi traits. And part of these are because he was starting to be trained so late in life, that he’d already formed these attachments. And for a Jedi, attachment is forbidden.” --George Lucas, CNN, 2002

There's probably more, if you want to scan through my Jedi Culture and Teachings in Canon guide, just look for chapter 2 of any given part, the section on "How the Force works" is where I put any of these quotes, and you can look around if you're looking for more examples of how the dark side needs to be faced and overcome, that it's part of the nature of life, but that we and the Jedi both should be choosing the light, because that's the way to eternal joy, the dark is the way to eternal suffering. (Check out "Jedi and the need to focus, to be calm when using the Force" section especially, because the Force becomes unreliable for a Jedi when they get angry.)

Overall, it's about how the dark side is consistently, repeatedly tied to attachment (the fear of living without someone, so desperate that you'll let a thousand people die to save that one person you can't live without, as it's more aligned with the Buddhist meaning), tied to fear and anger and hate, which are parts of our lives, but that we must work to overcome. The Jedi don't deny this--look at any scene where they express negative emotions, Mace does it on Geonosis, Yoda does it at Palpatine before their big fight, Obi-Wan is mad on Geonosis when Anakin almost abandons his post, etc., but they don't let it bite into their heart, they let those feelings pass, they let them go and find their way back to calm and peace, because "the world works better when you're on the side of good (the light side)".

#lumi.txt #star wars #the force #jedi order #light side #dark side #george lucas #meta #long post

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wingzie · 2 months

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Jikook: But I Still Want You

During Seoul Final in 2019, Jimin and Jungkook changed the lyrics at the end of The Truth Untold to “but I still want you.” Compared to every other change made for the final concert, this was never explained. These different lyrics hold a significance that still applies today.

In a year of uncertainty, the members strived to do their best for us in 2020. They filmed and released content throughout the year, putting us first in their minds. They kept us going during our darkest times and made us feel less alone when most of us were struggling, online and offline. They tried to make each performance unique but with the same powerful moves and meaning. With certain restrictions, they would try to keep themselves positive both backstage and onstage. They kept the flow of music and happiness going and expressed wanting to do this for many years. Not just during the hard times. It’s obvious that Jimin and Jungkook also spoke about this together previously, as seen in Festa:

A special performance is MMA 2020. Black Swan is already a heart wrenching song, even more so with the cancellation of the tour afterwards. To lose your true love and passion for something, to face those fears and then conquer them within art is such a powerful message. It must have been incredibly hard for them to go through their worst fears during lockdown and we could see how they supported each other during these times. With Jimin and Jungkook, we saw them nearly always together as we usually do. And this was reflected in their performances too.

In a cruel twist of fate, they wouldn’t be able to perform Black Swan live in front of an audience for a few years. I wish that BTS could have performed their MMA 2020 set in front of a live audience, but of course that wouldn’t be possible. The performance is so tender, as we see Jungkook being dragged away from Jimin. Jimin then struggled to get through and then the powerful lift when they reunited. You could still feel the impact of the performance though through the screen and there are countless praises for Jikook’s part especially:

It would be a long time until BTS would be reunited with Army again. They continued with their releases, but we could see how much the distance between them and us was affecting them. We saw this when Jimin suddenly cried during MOTS:Online and how Jungkook comforted him, very much aware of what they were each feeling. Once we were together again,we gave them so much love and you could see the relief on their faces. That they had made it and Jimin and Jungkook seemed just as affected by this too. They have an extra connection on stage and that was in full force as they played around, got extra close and flirted together. It was like no time had passed at all. This hug is different from their normal ones, it silently says “We did it. We made it.”

Chapter two began and, though they did their separate things, that connection remained strong. They supported each other as much as they could, occasionally missing each other and talking about the other at any opportunity they had. This would have been a different set of circumstances that they are used to, but they made it work. Whilst also enjoying time by themselves or working on other things. Another new situation is enlistment. Though it’s been a talking point for many years, it was soon time for each member to enlist. With Jimin and Jungkook deciding to take part in the buddy system. Showing that with each struggle or new experience, they are always there for each other. And will continue to be. No matter what happens, that look and message from 2019 still remains:

#jikook #wingzie #jikookttu

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windvexer · 1 year

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New Age Manifesting vs. spellwork manifesting

New Age (law of attraction! karma punishes your enemies for you! activate your chakras to limit 5g interference! your thoughts are reality! starseeds!) has a concept called manifesting.

Within the realm of practical sorcery, we also use the word manifesting.

But these two words mean different things, and I think it can be really confusing. So I'm going to try and take a stab at delineating these concepts. Especially the sorcery portion is based on how I see people using the word.

New Age: Manifesting is a part of New Age dogma. It's a religious belief with various factors at play. In New Age,

Manifesting is the belief that you are able to bring things into your life only using the power of your thoughts.

Your thoughts must be positive.

Your thoughts must be aligned with your "true purpose" or "highest calling."

Negative or unhappy thoughts may limit your ability to manifest.

Your personal level of spiritual development will limit how well you are able to manifest.

Manifesting is often an ongoing process, akin to a spiritual or holy state of mind that should be maintained as often as possible.

In New Age, "I manifested that" = "I wanted that, and I believe I got it because I am spiritually worthy."

In other words, manifestation is a grading of how close you are to fulfilling your "true purpose" in accordance with a living and benevolent universe. The better you do at upholding tenants such as Positivity and Living Your Truth, the more the universe rewards you.

(Please note that having an inborn purpose, being rewarded for aligning to an inborn purpose, and that the universe is capable of such a thing as co-creation are also just beliefs)

Sorcery: Manifesting is a technical term referring to whether or not a working of magic has influenced our world.

A spell or any working of magic is referred to as having been manifested when its influence has become apparent.

A working has manifested whether or not the manifestation was in line with the spellcaster's intent. "I cast a banishing spell on my boss, but when it manifested I just lost my job instead."

A working is manifesting when the spellcaster is confident the working is underway or when early signs of influence become apparent. "I think my money spell is manifesting - I got a call from the bank saying they're looking into those charges."

In sorcery, "I manifested that" = "I cast a spell for that and I believe the spell worked."

Unlike the New Age concept, sorcerous manifestation usually does not refer to the process of creation, but rather the end results of a prior working.

However, I also sometimes see New Age manifestation adopted as a style of sorcerous spellwork.

In other words, people who ostensibly do not practice New Age sometimes work with a style of magic they call "manifesting," which seems to mostly refer to thinking about a desired goal very intensely with the intent that their will becomes reality.

This practice seems divorced from New Age concepts such as positivity and the law of attraction.

In sorcery, other words are sometimes used instead of manifestation. Conjure is relatively common ("I conjured that money"). Plain language is also sometimes used ("my working was successful." "My spell got me what I wanted").

#witchblr

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crystalsenergy · 2 years

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Nodes notes 🧭📚✨ pt 1

South/North Node notes

South Node in Capricorn or South Node in the 10th house represents an exacerbated focus on developing your own career, your life path, without connecting to the inner aspects of yourself and others around you. the way of looking at life becomes excessively traditional, linked to the steps that a person needs to develop and that society dictates: studying, going to college, getting married, having children, a car, having grandchildren, going to church, dying. doing everything "right".

this is complicated, because the person can also be distant from his/her own internal development. in addition to disconnecting from the ups and downs that life will bring, and which are fundamental for a deeper and unique development. see: when we move away from the ups and downs that life brings to us, we move away from our own development, since it is IMPOSSIBLE to follow a single path. however, Capricorn has an extreme difficulty with following different paths from what society says.

and that is the lesson of this placement: finding balance between inner and outer life. learn to develop your inner side, your emotions. remembering that, for better or worse, much of what we lack in ourselves will reflect on others around us. when I don't have empathy and openness with my emotions, I'll lack with the other in the same points. especially when we are faced with positions that tend to mean little awareness of oneself and the more abstract and emotional side of life. so, through the North Node in Cancer or the North Node in the 4th house, you must learn to develop empathy and your emotional side, your inner life. enrich yourself with emotional experiences!!! don't run away from them. what are you afraid of?

South Node in Virgo or South Node in the 6th house has the need to experience things only in a practical, rational, methodical way. it is necessary for you to know that the world is not made only of the tangible, of what is explained in the sense of concrete ideas. work your sensitive, spiritual and abstract side, through the arts, creativity, and maybe even understand that there are energies that affect us all the time, that affect you, but that you haven't even realized yet because you have a mental closure to that. North Node in Pisces / 12th house can help you with this. delve into this position. the key is within all of us - or outside too, in parts.

South Node in Leo or South Node in 5th house believes that the decisions he makes without consulting others are the best, he also tends to see only his personal lens, which takes little account of others. in addition, there is a tendency not to know how to share your resources with the social, there is a limit in the vision of what you can do for others. it is important to understand your social role in society as well, which the North Node in Aquarius or North Node in 11th house brings as a lesson.

South Node in Aries or South Node in 1st house has a profound difficulty in seeing the different facets of the human personality, in addition to not being able to understand different parts of the same subject, possibilities of conversations. people with this placement have had a past life full of individualism, have left people aside in their other experience, and have in the North Node in Libra / North Node in 7th house the lesson of improving their view of others, of the existence of people around them it is necessary to learn to see people, their needs, and stop living only on their own needs. there can also be a great difficulty in understanding what a love relationship is in its depth: the deepest exchanges, the Libra/Venusian way of relating. this placement may have a certain aversion to experiences/people with normal and natural exchanges in relationships, with understanding, with harmony. these people may seek a relationship in which they dominate, having misunderstanding with those who do differently. as unfortunately there is a tendency to be very imposing and intolerant, this placement can mean a judgment of others who deviate from their standard of living. that is: people who, for example, have very Libran/Venusian relationships or experiences, with healthy exchanges, harmony, search for balance, knowing how to give, and not just wanting to receive, can be seen as "fool" by those who have this position. it's a big possibility.

South Node in Gemini or South Node in 3rd house needs to understand the need to know things more deeply. try to have deeper interests, not just the basics. knowing things in a deeper way can help you in your knowledge of yourself and the world around you. beware of wasting energy on superficial things. watch out for quick judgments of what you know little about.

South Node in Aries or South Node in 1st house has difficulty accepting help, difficulty letting go of the image of independence, image of a person who doesn't need anyone. another problem of South Node in Aries or South Node in 1st house is an aversion to what is different, believing that they don't need anything else, because they are enough on their own. be careful, with that attitude you can be forever stuck in the 1st house, lol. without leaving there, without knowing other houses. focused only on yourself, just listening to yourself, literally living in a bubble.

South Node in Taurus or South Node in the 2nd house can tend towards an exaggerated comfort zone, which can lead to a certain stagnation in life. including material stagnation. while Taurus thinks it's okay to live in material sameness, with the same house, the same things, with the same pattern for so long, this can mean stagnation and impediment for new material resources or material experiences to emerge. seek experiences beyond the material level. don't be afraid to get lost in life (North Node in Scorpio or North Node in 8th house). why are you afraid of losing material control?

South Node in Capricorn or South Node in the 10th house needs to understand that society is on the move, and that old patterns of thinking no longer make sense. QUESTION social institutions: family, politics, religion. understand that to live attached to the past is to be inclined to repeat it, without learning from it. learning from the past is doing different. understand that only the old, the same thing as always, occupies a certain space. and this space being eternally occupied by the past and the traditional will never make room for the new, if you don't understand that. so, make room for the old and the "comfortable" to be replaced by the new and something that challenges you - even emotionally! beware of a tendency to think you know exactly what others need. not. we are different and we need different perspectives for the same situation. don't impose your 'standards of functioning' on others. this can drive people away.

South Node in Capricorn or South Node in the 10th house can represent a certain material selfishness, inability to share your resources with others. focusing excessively on your career and reputation development can put your relationships aside (North Node in Cancer/4th house) balances the need to develop your relationships and your career.

bonus

the negative face of Saturn, and which is often present in its natives (Capricorns or people with strong Saturn in the chart) is the idea that they know what is best for others, more than people themselves. this can become irritating, as they will often err in their readings of reality, as they tend to see it from a traditional, closed point of view, without understanding the various facets of who we are.

Aries is a sign that really needs to learn to vibrate in a less individualized energy. pay attention to your need to impose your wills on others.

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joan-of-feminism · 2 years

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Radfem Thoughts

Trans people don’t need hormones or surgery. Those things are purely cosmetic and are not actually treating their dysphoria, it’s only giving into their dysphoria. Sex dysphoria is a mental illness that should be taken seriously and treated properly. If someone had body or facial dysphoria, medical professionals would be trying to get to the root of it, they would not encourage that person to get surgery to look like how they think they should look.

Womanhood and manhood are not innate feelings or personal experiences/identities. You cannot ‘feel’ like a man or a woman. You can, however, feel a mind-body disconnect when it comes to your sex and sex characteristics which is what sex dysphoria is. I have so much empathy for people with sex dysphoria. It must be absolute hell to be constantly at war with your body in that way. If someone has tried everything and is still just miserable with their life, then they should be able to get hormones and surgery. But hormones, surgery, and blockers should not be the first thing offered, especially to minors! Lupron has nasty side effects. It’s literally a chemo drug used to treat prostate cancer and to stop precocious puberty in young children. It sterilizes you and can totally fuck up your endocrine system. Taking cross sex hormones will mean that your body will be at constant war with itself since you don’t have the gonads necessary to regulate the hormones you are putting in your body.

But most importantly, trans people don’t need these things because being trans is not a medical condition nor is it a biological condition. It’s a psychosocial phenomenon, sex-dysphoria + refusal to abide by gender roles assigned to your birth sex (which is a good thing. We should all strive to break down gender roles). You don’t have to transition if you are a male that likes to perform femininity or a female that refuses to perform femininity. Masculinity and femininity are made up! There is no innate femininity or masculinity within our brains. Trans-ness does not break down gender roles. It only contributes to them. If you really want to destroy gender and its assigned roles then be whatever you want to be as the sex you were born as! Men can wear makeup and dresses without feeling like they should ID as women and women can cut their hair short and wear baggy clothes without feeling like they should ID as men.

GENDER IS NOT A FEELING. ITS JUST DUMB RULES AND EXPECTATIONS THAT ARE MEANT TO CONTROL OUR LIVES. JUST DO WHATEVER YOU WANT NO MATTER YOUR SEX! That’s what it really means to break down gender.

#radfem #radblr #gender critical #radfems can interact #radfems do touch #radical feminist community #terfblr #radfem safe #gender #gender abolition

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missroserose · 1 year

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Look at me and tell me that you like that 🫣❤️‍🔥

Been thinking a lot about how we treat sexuality as a culture, hiding it and surrounding it with shame. I can even sort of understand why; we can’t always control our sexual reactions, they aren’t always appropriate, and they can be outright destructive to our lives (and others’ lives) when we aren’t careful in how we express them. It’s a child’s logic—if we don’t talk about this terrible thing, if we hide it away and pretend it doesn’t exist, it can’t hurt us, yes? And surely it stops holding any power over us.

You’d think that centuries of evidence would convince us how flawed that line of thinking is. Sexuality is fundamental to our survival, it will absolutely fetishize that shame and make it serve its own ends. And in the process, stuffing something so powerful into our few narrow socially-prescribed contexts causes so much harm. We degrade performers and workers who make their living in a sexual milieu, because it’s dirty and shameful and therefore they must be too. We blame and despise people who incite sexual feelings within us, because it’s so much easier to criticize them for their dress/language/self-expression than it is to acknowledge those awful feelings. We look at people of alternative genders and sexualities with suspicion and hostility, because our view of what constitutes “acceptable” sex is so limited and anything outside it is a threat.

It makes me happy that there’s been so much movement towards a consent-based model of sexuality in recent years. Acknowledging its power and practicing sex mindfully is the single most powerful antidote to this culture of shame. Yet even within that framework, so many of us are still so invested in the current model that we find new ways to transpose it (witness the discourse around “harboring sexual fantasies about someone without their consent is rape,” or the many many things being referred to as “pedophilia” that have nothing to do with minor children). Shame is a potent means of gaining power, especially around something as charged and controversial as sexuality—and wielding it by positioning ourselves as the arbiter of what’s acceptable is a seductive power trip, especially for people who feel threatened or disempowered by changing mores.

I don’t have any real solutions—this isn’t the kind of thing that can be solved by a few people. Personally, I’m privileged enough to be able to openly practice a highly sexualized art form, so I do, both because I enjoy it and because there’s value in actively refusing to participate in shame culture. I communicate openly with my partners and respect their boundaries and consent. I let go of my own culturally-instilled shame and need to control others, and celebrate their personal expressions of gender and sexuality (or nongender and nonsexuality). And on the whole, I think I’m a better and happier person for it.

Won’t you join me?

#sexuality #pole dance #my pole dance #basework #freestyle #ramsey #a more intimate POV felt like it called for more intimate thoughts

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jiangwanyinscatmom · 2 years

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What do u think about people saying mdzs is a sexist book and that mxtx is misogynistic cuz she killed of the most important women in the story ?

I think when they say this they don't really see the underlying themes as it is of gender critic and juxtaposition of women in the works themselves.

SVSSS her first work, is a parody of the same shallow tropes that plague a very disgustingly misogynistic genre and it's overwhelming base of men it caters to. Our main character himself is in denial about his own sexuality for years and tells himself he must be straight because he reads YY novels, which is honestly some of the most horrendously bad straight machismo power porn put there for men.

Shen Qingqiu doesn't actually stop thinking of the women within the world of PIDW as just part of Luo Binghe's harem, until he has pushed Luo Binghe into The Abyss which makes everyone else, as much as Luo Binghe, to him real. There is nothing tethering Ning Yingying as "just" Luo Binghe's first wife", he begins to see her as a loyal disciple of the sect, talkative and stubborn and maybe just a little stupidly endearing.

This also extends to Liu Mingyan who was only considered to be "worthy" of Luo Binghe's attention as the main Love Interest to be argued about. But, she also had little to no interaction with Luo Binghe from the first time they meet and becomes independent of the harem wife plot so much, she becomes a inversion of becoming an in world writer to the most infamous trash novel of its stallion counterpart.

The women of the work are the ones who poke fun at the idiocy of the men that actually do inhabit the world, especially with Sha Hualing in actual shock at the ineptitude between the conversation of how to get a man's attention that Shang Qinghua, Mobei-jun and Luo Binghe are having, she is the one shocked and offended about the "act pathetic" conclusion they all come to.

As for MDZS, the world explores just how shit it is to live as a woman in a heavily misogynistic political world. It's not meant to be an idealized society by any means. And that does, shockingly, include women dying and all the ugly status that entails. Compared to SVSSS which had highly powerful women, The Jianghu of MDZS explores the opposite. This world shows men have more rights and leniency as a class, and given status, than it's women counterparts. Women are expected to act ideally as it's Confucian basis has set. Confucian practices, in short, are terrible to women. Of course that would reflect on a story that uses it at its basis for storytelling. We see this with Yu Ziyuan, who manipulated those practices, only to find herself in an unhappy marriage and family. Jiang Yanli, with traditional values, tries as well to make the best of an arranged betrothal that she had no say in, broken or not eventually. But she was able to eventually choose to marry and know Jin Zixuan, on her terms, after that as he had to be the one to reach out to her.

Wen Qing, is also more than just her role of men, as she decided the fates of Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng by being the one to decide ultimately to perform the core transfer. It is her mark, not Wei Wuxian's plan, that changes their relationship for life.

A-Qing herself, is the lead of the entire Yi City arc, and is the one to finally lead to Xue Yang's fall even after her death. This also includes the minor women in story we hear of only in hearsay, Baoshan Sanren, Cangse Sanren, Meng Shi, Lan-furen, their actions and lives are the ones that change the course of the domino effects of the story points and consequences. To read it as something as shallow as only being misogynistic or killing women maliciously, stupidly, and in bad faith, misses the themes of the plot.

There is a difference between the sociological aspect of what it means that media still has to make an emphasis on the issues women face, that are ugly and cruel, next to a power fantasy that women desperately crave, and true honest and hateful misogyny.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #svsss #scum villain #I do not have TGCF here as I honestly have little analytical thoughts on it

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sparklingself · 11 months

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hello! i just wanted to share something i've been reflecting on lately: guilt. i think for some of us, that's one of the reasons why we can't seem to be able to manifest what we want. i feel like it's especially hard to break free from guilt bc if you're like me, feeling guilty proves to yourself that you're good (or not too bad, at least), bc if you were truly bad you wouldn't feel guilty. it's hard not to cling to misplaced guilt bc it feels right. i'm not speaking about feeling guilty bc you've hurt someone or damaged something that wasn't yours, since in this case feeling responsible for it and reasonably guilty is natural. it helps maintain peace within the group. no, i'm talking about feeling constantly guilty for existing, for struggling, for making mistakes without meaning to, for eating this or that, for not wanting things you think you should want or for wanting things you think you shouldn't want, for not always being as kind as you wish to be, for suffering, for not doing this or that, for worrying your parents… you get it. basically feeling constantly guilty bc you believe you'll only deserve not to feel guilty when you become a saint or perfection personified, when you'll never do anything that could bother someone else directly or indirectly again. as you can imagine, you'll probably never become that (unless you cut all ties and go live all alone on a deserted island, but even then, that will surely sadden your close ones, so…). therefore, you stay stuck in this guilt. you can't make it go away because you can't exactly repair most of those things. you can't repair being human, right? but there's something called punishment. if you feel constantly guilty like that, you'll look for punishment - consciously or not. and because to you, feeling guilty means you're not a bad person, you agree with this feeling and with the fact that you deserve to be punished, in one way or another. i'm so sorry if it's all over the place, but for some of us i feel like this constant feeling of misplaced guilt is what makes manifesting difficult. i'm not religious but it's like we believe we're sinners no matter what, and sinners must repent. so our outer realities reflect that: guilt itself may be a punishment, not getting what you want may be a punishment, feeling depressed and aimless may be a punishment, "failing" may be a punishment, being treated with disrespect may be a punishment, others guilt-tripping you may be a punishment. anything. so, for some of us, letting go of this guilt might be the key. I have to admit I don't know how to do that very well yet, but recognising you feel guilty over nothing, that you don't need to be punished and that 'not feeling guilty' doesn't equal 'being bad' are first steps. and you can take responsibility without drowning yourself in guilt. further than that, dare not to feel guilty. acknowledge the existence of this feeling within you but dare to tell it it's not relevant. dare to disagree with the guilt, even if it feels uncomfortable or wrong. i guess you can even imagine someone telling you that you're not guilty, that you don't need to be punished, and that you're good. i'm gonna tell you myself: you're good. you existing and everything that comes with it is not a sin. you don't need to blame yourself to be good. you're good as you are right now.

sorry for the rambling lol, but i hope this helped anyone a little!

thank you for your thoughts and input🤍

i’ve struggled with guilt and i still do time to time, but loa has really improved my well-being and not feeling guilty in that sense. i have the habit of blaming myself and doubting myself a lot. but the beauty of loa is that when you’re in that mindset of the physical merely being a mirror, it doesn’t matter. say you say something you regret. you can revise it. it doesn’t matter anymore. all you ought to do is remove it from your consciousness by replacing it with something else. and you needn’t feel any guilt. in fact, speaking of sin, neville proposes that the feeling of guilt or any feeling that doesn’t let you experience your desires is sin. it can be a long process, but through constantly working on yourself, trust me, your self-worth will improve.

#ask #law of assumption

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justfrozenthings · 8 months

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Pairing: Anna/Kristoff Rating: T+ Summary: Kristoff has always loved the sea, and after meeting her he didn't know it was possible that he could love it more.

Cold dread spread throughout Kristoff’s body as he heard the name of the woman he had been fearing for the past twenty-four hours or so leave Anna’s lips.

“Are-are you sure? I mean, how do you know?” he stuttered nervously.

Anna raised a brow and scrunched up her little nose. “It’s kind of a…sister slash…mermaid thing I guess. Kind of hard to explain.”

Kristoff just nodded in agreement, deciding that was a reasonable answer and not to question it further.

“So I guess I better go take you out to meet her then huh?” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He found himself doing that a lot recently.

“Yeah I guess so,” she smiled softly as she tucked a strand of fiery red hair behind her ear. The lovely blush spreading across her face gave her freckled cheeks a warm glow.

She must have seen the worry in his eyes because her smile dropped and she rested a hand on his arm that was leaning against the tub.

“Hey,” her smile returned to her face. “It will be okay.”

He placed his too-large hand over her small one and returned a smile of his own. “Yeah,” he said, getting lost in the deep blue of her eyes.

And they stayed that way for a while before Sven gave a loud bark, pulling both of them out of their fantasies of what exactly they didn’t know. They had only just met each other, but there was an odd spark between them that they both felt strongly.

Taking that as a signal that it was time to head out, he stood up with a grunt and stretched his arms, which caused his shirt to lift just enough for Anna to get a glimpse of his perfectly toned stomach. The golden hairs on his chest reached far below the waistband of his shorts, and Anna had to pull her eyes away before her mind wandered to a place it shouldn’t.

Kristoff was about to reach a hand for the doorknob when her voice stopped him.

“Oh um,” she stammered toying with the end of her hair. “Perhaps, it’s best if I go with you. I haven’t seen her in a while and well…she usually doesn’t take well to humans, especially if those humans are fishermen…which you are and…well I’d hate for you to get into any sort of trouble because you’re very kind — I mean you did save my life and everything,” she started to twist the strand of hair between her two fingers more vigorously with every word she spoke and she even diverted her eyes away in embarrassment because not only did she only feel guilty for taking up his bathtub, he had to listen to her annoying rambling as she tried to explain why he probably shouldn’t meet her sister alone. Yes, while it was true Elsa was a kind and forgiving soul, she was also very protective of her baby sister; especially after the death of their parents. And Kristoff didn’t need to witness her potential wrath; it wouldn’t be fair. It wasn’t his fault he got caught up in all this. So she took a deep breath to finish what she had tried to tell him previously, “Sorry, sometimes my mouth works ahead of my brain. Anyway, what I was trying to say is that my sister can be pretty protective over me and I want to be able to explain to her myself that I’m okay because she’s not gonna trust the word of a man…well human man that is.” Thankfully, — within some point of her explanation — she had been able to meet his gaze again and keep her hands from fidgeting.

An awkward silence filled the air and all that could be heard was the blowing of the vent fan and Sven’s heavy panting. Neither of them knew what to do next and questions raced through their minds as they sat there pondering ideas. At some point, they would have to face Elsa, there was no escaping that fate.

“So uh,” Kristoff spoke up, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess we should get going huh? Don’t want to keep your sister waiting any longer?” Though he played it off jokingly, trying to lighten the uncomfortable tension that had built up within the past two minutes, Anna could sense a hint of fret in his voice.

Anna opened her mouth to speak but before any words came out a chill ran throughout her body, an indication that Elsa was becoming more frantic. She could tell that this did not go unnoticed by Kristoff as he furrowed his brows in worry and went to touch her before thinking better of it and pulling away. He also took this as an indication that they needed to get things moving and didn’t ask any more questions. With ease he crouched down on the tile floor, slipping his arms under Anna all while she tried to lift herself as best as possible, and carried her bridal style in his arms like he had done when he saved her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and Kristoff tried to conceal the blush that was beginning to rise from his collarbone to his cheeks.

“So uh,” Kristoff started trying to fill in the silence that had formed as he made his way through the house to the front door. “This sister of yours sounds like she really cares about you and your safety. That must be nice to have someone who loves you that much?”

“Hm,” Anna looked up at him, giving her head a little shake as if she had been daydreaming about something. “Oh…uh, yeah. She’s great. Always looking out for me and making sure I don’t get into trouble.”

Kristoff snickered and gave her a lopsided grin. “You make it sound as if you’re some kind of troublemaker,” he said, now making it to the front door and not forgetting to close it behind him as he stepped outside onto his front porch.

“Well let’s just say I may or may not have been swimming too close to shore than what is permitted which may or may not have been because of my fascination with humans that my sister has told me numerous times to stop due to the potential danger.” She smiled shyly up at him.

“And I’m assuming it was this so-called fascination that led you to become entwined in that fisherman’s net huh?” He gave her a playful teasing smile feeling a bit more relaxed now than he was a few minutes prior.

Anna tucked a small red tendril behind her ear as her eyes turned away sheepishly biting her bottom lip. A hint of a blush spread along her freckled cheeks. “Okay, so maybe I do run head first into situations before thinking things through, but hey could you honestly say you blame me.” Feeling less embarrassed she had the courage to look up at him again. “I mean your world is just so interesting and weird and just so enticing to want to learn about, so if anything it’s kinda your fault. I mean not you specifically of course, just the general human population.” She rambled on, somehow finding a way to gesticulate her hands wildly.

In the very brief time that she had been here, Kristoff had learned that Anna was fiery so it hadn’t been surprising to him that she would do something so crazy as to come so close to land, ultimately breaking her sister's biggest law. He assumed that most merfolk had been naturally curious, as any human would be of the….merworld? Was that correct? It’s not like he could go look it up in a dictionary or anything. He made sure to put it in the backburner of his mind as a question to ask Anna later. If there ever was a later.

Part of him hoped there would be.

“Well, we’re here,” Kristoff informed them, stopping at the edge of the water.

Perplexed, he turned his head looking every which way in hopes of spotting Elsa amongst the water, but he saw nothing. His brows furrowed in confusion because it really should not be that hard to find a mermaid. Scanning his eyes over the ocean one last time thinking that maybe he missed her, he sighed in defeat when the results turned out the same.

“Where is-”

“There!” Anna interjected, sticking her arm out to point at something, which - for a second - threw Kristoff off balance at the new change of position; fortunately, he was able to regain his composure fairly quickly without dropping her. “She’s over there.”

He followed her finger and sure enough - as if on cue - a fair-headed mermaid peeked around a rock with a dark-haired one following after her; much to his dismay.

That’s when he realized he might have been in more trouble than he thought.

Why were there two? Did Anna possibly have another sister she never brought up? No, he had a feeling she would’ve told him. Maybe Elsa decided she needed backup; make him believe everything was fine and when his guard was down WHAM. Hit him when he would least expect it. But, Anna told him everything would be fine, and he trusted her.

Reassurance began to move his feet.

“Oh look,” Anna said pointedly. “Honeymaren came with her.”

“Honeymaren?”

Anna picked up on the slightly higher pitch in his tone of voice, though he tried to mask it through a cough, and maneuvered herself to put a gentle hand on his shoulder while giving him a soft look in an attempt to hopefully set his mind at ease. “Don’t worry, Honeymaren isn’t a threat either. She’s just Elsa’s girlfriend who probably tagged along because she was worried about her safety as any respectable partner would be.”

With a quick curt nod and a reassuring smile, Kristoff continued on, getting closer with each step he took, only stopping when he finally reached his place of destination.

He paused, took a deep breath, then spoke. “Elsa? Or I mean Queen Elsa?” The platinum-blonde turned her, registering her name. Her eyes were a lot deeper blue than Anna’s - but her smile - her smile was the same and that is what finally gave him the confidence to continue. “My name is Kristoff Bjorgman, I think I’m the reason that brought you here.”

Silence filled the air and all that could be heard were the crashing of the waves against the shore and the rapid heartbeat of a fisherman whose thoughts were racing through his mind as he waited for a response.

#kristanna #kristanna fanfiction #frozen #frozen fanfiction #my fanfiction #the sea nymph

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