#Repopulate (Epilogue) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maedaex2combo · 2 years

Text

More Than Pale

Chapter One: Drunken Dates and Confessions

Post-retcon / Post-sburb

———————————————————————

Pairings: Dave x Karkat x Reader (GenderNeutral!Reader Human!Reader)

Warnings: Strong language, Alcoholism, Mention of suicide.

Word Count: 21K (jesuschrist) (ishouldhavemademorechapters)

Summary: Dave and Karkat have been your two best friends ever since spending those three years on the meteor together. After living together on Earth C for a while, you have to deal with the aftermath of your two friends ending up in a red romance with each other when you get busy tangled in your career. Feeling left out, and with complicated feelings you never got to express, you turn to confiding in strangers and substances. But maybe you just weren’t made for red relationships.

A/N: Okay so it’s worth mentioning that this story loosely takes place in the post-retcon, post-sburb universe that appears in the Homestuck Epilogues/Homestuck ^2. However, it is not set in either the candy or meat timelines, or involved in anyway with those stories. Just an epilogue that assumingely ends up normal without all the “canon” shenanigans. Also, before you tell me that y/n sounds a little too similar to Jade: I may or may not project to write these stories, and I may or may not also kin a certain Harley dog-girl. We’re all just gonna agree to not mention it. Anyways, I intend on making one or two more chapters to this story! (When I can. I'm about to be super busy!) So this isn’t the end, but I really hope you enjoy!

———————————————————————

Now let’s get into it.

It’s been a few years since your game session of Sburb ended. Your new universe created, and earth brought back into it by Jade, which you all decided to call Earth C. You and your friends have all been chilling on said planet since then, having adventures and shit. Well, most of you anyways.

Once the game ended, you all repopulated Earth C with ecto-bio-tech, jumped ahead several thousand years, and settled down figuring out what to do with your new lives. You and your two best friends/morails Dave and Karkat decided to live in a big house together, somewhere in the middle of the Troll Kingdom. Despite having crazy amounts of god-money to get your own places, the three of you found comfort in living with each other. The three years you spent together on the meteor really bonded you, and you all often felt odd being apart for long periods of time. Kinda like separation anxiety?

That’s not to say you can’t ever not be around them. In fact sometimes you need a break every now and then. You had loved to take trips with Jake and Jade in the first couple years of arriving, exploring, traveling the planet. Those two were always a riot, in different ways, good ways.

However, those trips were usually pretty short. And lately you had been keeping yourself fairly busy ever since you decided to start making music. Earth C was kinda lacking in pop culture before you all showed up. You had always loved writing music, so your friends had convinced you to produce it. Of course because you were already so well known, being a god and one of the “overseers” of the Troll Kingdom, you got pretty big pretty fast.

It’s all been kinda overwhelming, if you’re being honest. You’ve barely had the motivation to write anything new lately from burnout. This wouldn’t be a problem, if it hadn’t been almost six months now since you went on tour, or really were active at all with your career. The tour took a lot out of you, you think. People were begging you on social media for new music, new media, or at least some updates. But what were you doing?

Fuckin. Chillin.

Like a god damn villain.

And by that I meant “fucking chilling”, not fucking and chilling individually… just to be clear.

…

So that brings us to the present, taking place in the dark and cozy living room of your house. It’s still daytime, but there’s no sign of sunlight anywhere. Despite the million windows, they’re all draped with dark curtains, allowing for no glimpse of the outside world. Here you are currently lounging with Dave and Karkat on the couch, playing the same video game you’ve been playing for hours.

“DAMNIT!” You and Karkat both yell in unison, as Dave takes yet another W against you both. Karkat throws his controller down in frustration. You swing your head back, groaning.

“Sorry guys. I'm trying to lose, I swear.” Dave says, with the biggest shit-eating grin he has every time he wins that tells you to not trust this mans words in the slightest. This man is a god at video games for some reason. Might as well be Knight of Smash. (Actually, no, that sounds weird.) But it’s probably cause he’s had years to do literally nothing but practice. Him and Karkat really don’t get out much. Staying in doing nothing was just their thing, and it used to be yours too.

“Oh shut the fuck up Strider.” Karkat growls, throwing himself back into the couch.

“Yeah, you only keep winning because you’re never NOT playing this game.” You say as you lift your head back up.

“Hey, you're the one that wanted to play this anyways. You totally subjected yourself to this losing streak.” Dave retorts.

You cross your arms. “…It’s a fun game…”

“Not when you're fucking around with this asshole." Karkat adds bitterly.

“Hey. I’m loads of fun to fuck around with. I fuck around like nobody's goddamn business.” Dave shoots back.

You have to hold in your giggle at that suggestive phrase, immature as you always are, but you do an awful job. They both turn to look at you.

“And whats so funny, huh?” Dave raises an eyebrow at you, but you're pretty sure he knows already.

You give him a teasing look, poking your tongue out a little.

"Go ahead, say it." He enables you, and he's wearing an amused smile now, so you know he knows.

“Well, I don’t know.. I just feel like Karkat would know better than anyone. What ‘fucking around’ with you is like..” You say and wiggle your eye brows comedically. The boys both blush slightly, to your amusement. The embarrassment shows more on Karkats face than Dave’s though, of course. Although it looks more like embarrassed-anger.

“[Y/N]!!” Karkat shouts at you, leaning forward to glare your way from across Dave.

Dave turns to look at him and touch his hand, startling him in his already flustered state. "It's okay babe. I got this." He says dramatically and ignores Karkats protests to the pet name. He turns to look at you again and theres a silence as he stares you down very seriously (of course) and you wait expectingly.

"Not cool." He finally says, and gives you the signature Strider-look-of-disapproval (FAKE). This pulls a laugh out of you and you see Karkat throw himself back against the couch again in annoyance.

“Hey, you said go ahead!" You retort pointing an accusing finger at Dave, only to be nonchalantly waved off as if to say 'eh that's not relevant.'.

"Alriiiight, I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I can’t resist. I just still can’t believe you two got together while I was gone.” You turn your body slightly, so you’re looking at the two of them, legs in criss-cross. “Plus, in my defense, it’s been like more than six months and you guys are still so embarrassed to talk about it.”

“Speak for this guy.” Dave says throwing his thumb in Karkat's direction.

“I do not get 'embarrassed' about it!!" He retorts, air-quoting the word while still being stuffed into the corner of the couch very grumpily.

You both raise an eyebrow at him. He groans and slumps further back, if that was even possible, not bothering with another retort.

Dave swings back around to face you again. “And I still can’t believe that you still can’t believe it for the same reason. Get with the program bro.” He says, crossing his arms all sassy-like.

“I know, I know. It’s old news. But y'know you guys went and made me the third wheel, so I think I earn the right to tease you. Oh my god remember that time I came into the kitchen to get a midnight snack and found you guys su-“

“UGHHHHH.” Karkat’s loud groan begs for you to stop. He really especially hates to talk about it in detail for some reason. It’s honestly a miracle these two even got together with no help. They still never told you how it happened.

Dave looks over at him, sympathetic under his glasses, but of course you wouldn’t notice that. Cool guy shades double as a vulnerability shield. Most times. You do, however, notice them subtly holding hands. You wonder how long they’ve been doing that. It’s so… So cute. Your heart hurts. Your head hurts. But you’re gonna ignore it. Like clockwork.

“OKAY, okay. I’ll lay off.” The two of them seem to physically relax a little at this, though you didn't even notice Dave being tense before.

“For now…” You add to finish your sentence ominously and then stand up off the couch, making your way over to the hallway.

“Where you going? I thought we were all gonna smash some more.” Dave calls out to you.

You turn around in the doorway of the living room to look at him, snorting a little at his joke. Smash jokes never get old. “Oh my bad, did I not tell you guys?”

They’re both looking at you now, confused. Dave shakes his head to give you your answer.

“Oh! Well…” your eyes wonder a little awkwardly “I’ve got a date tonight!”

“Again?” “AGAIN?” They both say in unison. You guys have a habit of doing that with each other lately, it’s kinda creepy.

“Please tell me it’s not the same guy from few days ago.” Dave comments.

“You mean the one that barfed all over our fucking doormat?” Karkat clarifies, Dave turning around to give him a nod of affirmation.

“Yeah that one. I don’t think I can stand to have to look him in the eyes again if he drops you off. That shit was irredeemable.” Dave responds.

You laugh. That moment was honestly really funny, but that might be biased since you were pretty drunk when you watched it go down. And thus didn’t have to do the clean-up. Whoops.

“Oh, no, don’t worry. It’s a new guy. I met him at the grocery store the other day!” You say, still cheery.

Karkat rolls his eyes. “Oh joy!! Another shitty date we get the pleasure of hearing an earful about later."

“Hey! He could be interesting!! Don’t judge a book by it's cover, right?” You defend.

“Yeah, but when you get to the twenty-fifth book and it’s still shitty, you think you’d give it a rest for a while. Like maybe think to yourself 'God damn, I'm having some really fuckin’ bad luck today. Maybe I should go home”. Or even god forbid consider that you have standards way too high to be like.. browsing the regular ass town library anyways? Man I don't know, Rose would be better at making a book-related analogy.”

“I do not have high standards!” You say back, considerably offended.

“Debatable.” He responds, crossing his arms again and leaning back into the sofa.

“I don’t get why you guys are so against me dating around. I’m 19, I'm single. I’d say it’s a pretty normal thing for people my age to be doing.” You say, moving over to the kitchen table, which is in the same room as the living room. Kitchen-dining-living room with tall ass ceilings.

"Well, technically, you're not 'single'." Karkat says slowly, making air quotes at the word 'single'. You share a gaze with him for a moment as you understand what he means.

"Okay yeah, by troll standards I guess I have you guys in my.. pale quadrant.. but-" You pause for a second as your mind stutters a bit to connect this into a point. "But, the only troll equivalent to human dating is the red one sooo... technically I am 'single'." You finish, putting the same emphasis on the two words to mock him a bit. You've gotten quite used to troll romance over the years and it seems to have adapted into earth C's culture as well, so even humans participate in the four quadrants sometimes. Still though, you were raised on the o.g. earth, and some quadrant stuff is still hard for humans so a lot still tend to just do red romance. Karkat is your morail, (and Dave too technically, even though that's been kinda screwed a bit with the whole them dating thing because you were all morails with eachother) but that's not exactly 'dating' to you, even if it is a romantic quadrant.

Whatever. Troll romance is confusing. You're gonna stop thinking about it now.

Karkat just gives a 'whatever' type of shrug. "Debatable." He says, copying Dave. “Anyways. We're not against it. We're just tired of hearing about it all the time." He says, changing the subject, clearly bitter for some reason about the whole thing.

“Dude. Chill.” Dave whispers to him, despite you obviously still able to hear.

“What?! It's true!” Karkat hisses back.

“You suck at whispering.”

“Fuck you!”

"You both suck at whispering, FYI!" You call out to them, making them shut up.

A moment passes and you frown, picking up a green apple from the fruit bowl the other two never touch. “Well if you guys hate hearing about them so much, I can just stop telling you. I didn’t know it actually bothered you like that…” You trail off.

You stare at them, or really the back of their heads, from behind the couch. They’re looking at each other, and it’s silent. They’re sharing a look you can’t quite read. It makes your heart sink. It feels like your relationship with them isn’t as close as it was in the beginning, after you took a huge tour and they got together. Everything just feels off. Maybe that’s why you’re out so much honestly.

“Um. Hey," Dave suddenly speaks up, pulling you out of your thoughts. "Have you been working on your music at all lately?“ He asks, changing the subject.

You’re silent for a second, which makes him turn around to look at you. “Because I read your comment section the other day. You got mads amounts of people begging you for content. When was the last time you posted?”

You stuff the apple you were holding in the front pocket of your hoodie and walk over to the coat hanger where your bag is hanging.

“Does it matter? I only did all this for fun in the first place. If I want a break, I’m entitled to it and I don’t owe it to anyone to have to announce it to the world.” You reply

“Fair enough.” All he has to say to that.

“And anyways, you’re the last person to be asking me this kind of stuff. You both could totally have some kind of online agenda to uphold, being gods and all. But as far as the world knows, you two could be dead!” You say as you take your bag from the hanger and start looking through it for your phone.

“Aw, c'mon we're not that elusive.” Dave says back, swiping his hand in a cliché 'pshhh' hand gesture.

“Oh, you totally are. Your private blog doesn’t count either. I’m pretty sure most people just think you’re roleplaying as the quote-on-quote 'real' Dave Strider.”

“Wait holy shit, seriously??!” He says, suddenly very thrown by this.

“It's true." Karkat adds, joining the conversation now. "I was cussing a dude out about it last week. He kept saying you were 'trying too hard to be like the real D-Stri' whatever the bumbling fuck that means?? The audacity of that shit-eating douchebag to say that to the mans literal fucking matesprit still astounds me. It's one I'd not yet seen on Earth C, but we all saw it coming. And by the way my account is VERIFIED so???”

“So what'd you call him? A 'shit-eating douchebag'?” You snort with an amused look.

“Yes. Among various other insulting titles.” Karkat responds very nonchalantly.

“Dude, What the hell. Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this??” Dave says, still dumbfounded, now pulling out his phone. He clearly finds this to be fucking awesome and you have no doubt he's going to make it worse somehow and in no way try to clear this up.

“Anyways. Again. [Y/n], doesn't your dating around thing get out to the public? Since you're famous now or something?? I've never seen anyone say anything about it.” Karkat swings his upper body around so he’s facing you as well now.

“Yeah actually. You'd think they'd have something to say about it. I mean we're all technically famous but I'm pretty sure most of your fans would probably literally die for you while kissing on your feet.” Dave comments, still navigating something on his phone.

You roll your eyes. “No, actually. Surprisingly enough, you two are the only ones who care enough to pry. Isn’t that funny?” You quip sarcastically, making an expression of fake-curiosity.

“Well. If you have the 'right' to bother us about dating every fucking chance you get, then I think we have the right to complain about the random asswipes you bring to the hive that inevitably fuck up the porch in some way. Or make dave and I uphold awkward as all hell conversations for way fucking longer than I can stand. Which is maybe, like, ten whole seconds. And thats being generous! “ Karkat argues.

He makes a good point, you guess.

“Okayyyyyyy. I get it. I’ll stop talking about my dates then, okay?” You sigh, starting to walk towards the hallway again. “And you guys don’t have to wait for me to get home every night anyways. I officially give you permission to not be concerned at all with my personal affairs. Does that make you happy?” The last line comes out a little colder than you meant it to. Too late now, they can probably tell you're upset.

You turn to exit to your room. They frown at each other.

“[Y/N] wait. It's cool, it’s not that. We just… You know we want you to find someone you actually like.”

You stop in the doorway again, the sincerity of his words hitting you a little.

“Do you... Think you actually like this guy this time?” He asks carefully.

You frown. And your heart hurts again. Do they think you’re just dating around to avoid being lonely or something?

…Were you?

You scoff a little, faking offense this time. “Yes, Dave. I actually like all the people I go out with.” You respond with a hint of sarcasm.

“Well... Then go ahead. Who the fuck are we to judge I guess?” He says back and you clock that there’s a certain tensity in his voice.

“Yeah, and let’s hope you come back sober this time.” Karkat mutters, not looking in your direction. Okay, that hurt. Not feeling very morail... ed by him right now.

Dave hits his shoulder lightly, causing Karkat you shoot him an angry/hurt expression.

“WHAT?! They always come back drunk when the dates bad! I’m just saying I hope it goes well!” He defends.

Dave gives him another look.

“Okay, fuck! Sorry! I’m sure you’ll have a grand fuckin’ time with this guy [Y/n]! Go knock him dead or whatever you wanna say to commemorate it!!”

Dave sighs and looks over at you to give you a thumbs up or something at all to maybe lessen the tensity, but you’re already gone. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at them for some reason. You just had to go cool off while you get ready.

“You definitely pissed them off.” Dave tells his boyfriend, pushing off the couch to stretch upwards.

“What?! I was just expressing my feelings about the situation!! Weren't you the one preaching to me a while ago how important communication is or something??” Karkat defends.

“Okay, yes, good point. That's still true." He comments back, turning to point at him and nod. "But I don't really think they wanted all that honesty, or asked for either of our opinions I guess.”

“Oh, whatever! Like you said, you were spewing your equally unwarranted opinions at them too. You don’t get to pin this on me!” Karkat shouts.

“Yeah, but I think my concern was slightly ironic and doused in smart-assery. Like most things I say. They could definitely tell you were actually bothered, though.” Dave says, shifting the blame off him.

There's no response.

A beat of silence sits between them. Dave immediately feels a little guilty for pinning it on him, though he was mostly kidding.

“Hey I'm sorry. It's fine dude.” He sits back down and takes Karkats hand in his hand, for real this time, not half-assed and trying to hide. He doesn’t have to take his shades off for Karkat to know he’s making genuine eye contact behind them. “Let's just try to apologize to them when they come back in, yeah?.”

Karkat blushes slightly, reluctantly pouting at his boyfriend. “…Yeah. Okay.” He says weakly, and that's that on that.

One hour later and you’re finally finished getting ready. You sigh, staring at your reflection in the vanity mirror. Even getting all dressed up to go out, you’re really not looking forward to tonight at all. You can’t tell if it’s because of what those two said earlier, or something else…

Honestly sometimes it seems like you’re only excited to go on dates just to get out of the house. Although you never disliked staying inside this much. You were almost as much of a shut-in as these two were before you started your career. You guess it’s just yet another thing caused by your two best friends getting into a relationship without telling you, until AFTER you get back from a very long trip. (Except they didn’t even tell you, you had to find out.) And then proceeding to spend more time with each other than with you.

But... Of course! That makes sense.. they need their alone time together now. That's understandable and something you can respect. But you can’t just be alone in your room, it physically hurts to feel that loneliness. The one that finds you every time you get a moment by yourself. The one you’re pushing back right now as you sit in your room getting ready to go out (with someone you’re probably not all that interested in if you’re being honest), while your two morails spend time together downstairs.

Speaking of morails, your mind starts to wonder as you consider how different your relationship is with those two now. I mean it was obvious, it has been effecting you, but now you're trying to pinpoint when it might've started. Things were fine for a little while after you found out they were dating, but then you guess you started to feel more distant with all the lost time and them sharing a different quadrant without you. Not to mention the confusion with Dave no longer being Karkats morail but still being yours along with Karkat? Technically you guys were like breaking some rule by being poly in that quadrant, since apparently there's not really any history of trolls doing that. Not that any of you really gave a shit about that, it worked so thats how it happened. But now it's all messed up.

Hm. It just occurred to you that you might’ve been made the auspistice between them. Is that how that works? No, that’s a black romance thing, you think. Maybe you’ll ask Karkat sometime.

… Or maybe more preferably Kanaya.

AH SHIT you're thinking about troll romance again. Though you suppose you can't avoid it now.

You guess you could also always go hang out with your Sburb friends. You do sometimes, but you have this desire to meet new people lately. There’s so many people on Earth C now! It’s made you curious to what type of individuals this society created. But you suppose it has been a while since you’ve seen some of your old friends. You set a reminder in your phone to hang out with the Lalonde’s soon.

When you finally step back into the kitchen, Karkat is setting things up on the stove, and Dave is looking in the freezer. You’re a bit surprised. You guys only ever cook like once a week, and you take turns like it’s a chore. Most meals/snacks are alchemized, but you try to keep at least a little balance. There’s no way alchemized food could be all that healthy to eat all the time.

You’re walking over to the coat rack next to the table when the two of them finally notice you. They both turn to look at you, but don’t say anything. When you look back over at them, you blush a little at the unnoticed attention. Why are they staring?

You suppose you're all dolled up or whatever, but it's not like they've never seen you like this. You unreasonably fear maybe you have something on your face and somehow didn't notice.

“What... Do I look weird?” You say, kinda awkwardly, fixing a piece of hair that'd fallen in front of your face.

“What? No.” Dave responds, kinda thrown for a split second by your question. "You look... Good."

"Oh. Thanks." You say in a tone that probably could've stood to be less tense and more appreciative.

Dave nods and turns back to the fridge with a totally-not-uncomfortable cough. Then he looks over to Karkat, who finally breaks looking at you to meet his gaze. You feel weird. This is weird.

“[Y/n].” Karkat calls to you, breaking the strange silence.

“Y-yeah?” You respond, unfortunately stumbling the word a bit.

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier. You should be able to date whoever the hell you want to without getting shit from two dumbasses about it.”

“But mostly one in particular.” Dave adds quickly, clearly getting amusement from the look Karkat shoots him after.

“Oh! It’s alright. I didn’t take it to heart.” You say a little weakly. Lies.

“And anyways I guess I’m not in a place to talk. Considering my sad excuse for a matesprit here.” He says, clearly just to get back at Dave for his previous comment.

“Wait, what??” Dave whips his head around to look at Karkat in offense.

“I’m kidding!! Don’t wet yourself like a human baby in a cloth contraption. Whatever the hell you call those man-made abominations.” He says, rolling his eyes and gesturing with his hands a bit.

“…Diapers?” Dave snorts.

“Yeah. Those.” He confirms.

You giggle a little along with Dave at this, then unlocking your phone quickly to check the time and peaking at your reflection when it turns black again.

“Hmmm…” Dave stares melancholy at Karkat a little much so for his liking.

“...What?!” He asks.

“If you were kidding, then say you love me right now.” Dave demands accusingly, moving back to finally close the freezer thats been open this whole time for no good reason other than so that Dave can use it as an arm rest. Thank god you guys don't pay for electricity.

“WHAT?! NO!” Karkat blurts out quite loudly in alarm.

“You hurt my feelings man. I'm convinced you don’t love me anymore.” Dave states, crossing his arms in a very convincingly-upset manner and leaning against the counter behind him.

“Stay convinced then.” Karkat replies stubbornly, waving him off and crouching down to grab some things from the cupboard below him.

“Woooooow. Okay. What the fuck. Brb I think I'm gonna go have a cinematic cry in the bathroom. You know the kind where you slam the door and slide down it with your head in your hands sobbing.” He says dramatically and starts making his way over. You nod and roll your eyes when he gives you a 'You know what I'm talking about' type of look.

“NO! Stop!!” Karkat shouts to him, turning around and standing with a container of oil in his hand.

“Then say it.” Dave says, looking at him cross-armed again.

“OKAY!!! Fine!" He blurts out and Dave straightens up leans an arm against the counter to wait.

"…I…I..” He struggles, glancing between the two of you before opting for glancing at other things instead.

You and Dave both stare at him, anticipating, expressionless. This is a lot for him, you can tell. And you're trying not to make a goofy goober joke right now. You wonder if Dave is doing the same in favor of getting something sweet/embarrassing out of his boyfriend.

“I-…… I L..UGHH” He’s starting to turn crazy red, and he can feel it, because he quickly turns his head to look at the opposite wall. “I CANT DO IT WHEN YOU TWO ARE STARING AT ME LIKE IDIOTS!!” He shouts and gestures a hand to said idiots, unsurprisingly being the only two other people in the house.

You decide you’ll spare him the embarrassment today. You’re honestly not in the mood to take their cuteness right now, as selfish as that sounds. “It’s okay, you guys can ‘I love you’ and smooch or whatever all you want when I’m gone. That guy should be here any minute.” You say finally and start to put your coat on. It’s usually a little chilly in the troll kingdom this time of year. Nothing crazy, but still enough to want a second layer.

“Are you guys cooking dinner?” You ask curiously once they both go back to what they were doing.

“Karkat is. It's his week to cook something.” Dave answers your question.

“Awww man, why’d you choose today to do it? I love your cooking, Kar.” You say sadly, pouting a bit. Karkat was pretty bad at cooking when you guys first got here, but you all were honestly. But Karkat is the only one out of all of you that actually improved somehow, despite not doing it often. Now you always look forward to CG-Dinner days.

“You never said you were going out. I already thawed the meat and shit earlier.” Karkat shrugs, not looking at you.

“Damn! I guess I’ll have to cope with leftovers.” You say disappointed.

“Hey it' s not too late. You could always tell that dude that you’re sick or some shit and get a good ol' home cooked troll dinner.” Dave suggests, raising his eyebrows and gesturing to you with a spatula.

You roll your eyes at him, smiling. “Yeah, you wish.”

Then, with perfect timing, your phone dings with a new message notification. The boys glance at you subtly as you check to confirm it’s your date for tonight.

“Speak of the troll! I gotta go.” You say, typing back at your keyboard.

“So the lucky guy is a troll this time.” Dave comments.

“Yeah! A very handsome one too. I’ll see you guys later!” You say with a genuine smile despite your previous worries. You have hope that this will go well even regarding you recent past experiences.

Dave nods and Karkat waves slightly as you rush off into the hallway, then out the front door. They watch you go, staring in your direction even after you’re out the door. It’s uncomfortably quiet for a few minutes after you’re gone.

—————————————————————

Timeskip moment here!

I’m not going to go into the details of the date, because honestly, who cares. Just some random, probably slightly awkward date, with some irrelevant ass troll dude that will never have a name and never be mentioned again in my story.

Okay, that was kinda harsh. I’m sure the troll was a nice gentleman. Maybe. And I guess he’ll be mentioned a few more times. But thats IT.

All you need to know for now, is that it must not have gone well. Because after eating all the breadsticks and waiting what felt like ages for the food to come out, the next thing you remember is…

…Waking up to a POUNDING headache (wow) and…

And someone next to you?

No way…..

Oh wait. It’s two someones. Phew.

Wait, what?

You reluctantly open your eyes, letting in way more light than your body should be allowed with the current conditions. You stare at the ceiling for longer than you normally would, procrastinating having to move your head to look around.

You can already tell that you’re in Daves room right now. He’s got a million of those glow-in-the-dark stars you can stick to your ceilings. You and him put those up the third day of moving in, because Dave had been so excited about finding them at a nearby shop. He called them a ‘hella nostalgic treasure’. Karkat helped too, using a ladder, being the flightless little guy he is. You crack a smile at this sudden memory flooding back to you. If only you could remember what the hell happened last night.

You turn your head slightly to the left to see Karkat fast asleep. He’s facing you, left arm resting on your stomach. He’s also almost in a fetal position? And he’s drooling. How cute. He genuinely looks really peaceful, and you wonder what kind of dreams he might be having right now. It’s impressive how comfortable he’s gotten sleeping in regular beds now, since he used to struggle with it a lot. You're... Really proud him. You can't help, but gaze at him lovingly before you move on.

You turn your head all the way to the right now, and of course, you see Dave. He’s sleeping as well, thankfully. That’d be awkward if he wasn’t. His head is higher above yours, so you have to look up a little to see his face. His shades are off, but of course he’s wearing an eye mask. You still don’t think you’ve seen this dork without his sunglasses in daylight. He looks a little more goofy than peaceful, his mouth wide open and right arm in some weird position above his head. Still cute though. You also notice that his left arm has been loosely around yours.

You look back up at the ceiling, taking a moment to process this scene.

This is…….. Adorable. You wish you weren’t having a crazy hangover right now so maybe you could enjoy it a little more. This isn’t the first time you’ve woken up with these two, but usually its after a movie night together, and you aren't ever in the middle these days. And you guess there isn't even a 'these days' anymore because you realize you can't remember the last time you all slept together

You take note that you’re still in your same get-up you wore to your date. The outfit is also really dirty?? You must have slept not long after getting home. That’s a relief, because then maybe you didn’t get to say anything embarrassing to your two friends that you’ve been having troubling feelings about lately. That sure would be terrible!

Haha.

You should get water. And maybe take an aspirin or something. You also have to pee, like crazy bad for some reason. Feels like leaving the bed is gonna be hard to do without waking up one or both of them, leading to an uncomfortable conversation you’d rather not have yet with a pounding headache.

You manage to slowly pull yourself to sit up, carefully removing Karkats arm off you and escaping Daves light hold on your arm, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You analyze the bed. You could probably crawl out from the opening below Karkats legs since he’s fetal positioning. Yeah, that’s a good plan.

You do so successfully, and quietly make your way down the hall to the bathroom. You grab your phone from the bedside table on your way out.

After getting water, taking an ibuprofen since you guys are out of aspirin, and cleaning up a bit, you pull out your phone to check for any weird texts messages or voicemails you might’ve made last night. Luckily for you, it doesn’t seem like you texted or called anyone. Thank god. Then, suddenly you get a notification from a familiar name.

[4 New Message Notifications:] GC: (y/n)!! have you seen this yet? GC: dhttp://ecww.TKNN.com/y-n-restaurant-breakdown-live/ GC: what happened?? GC: are you okay? :(( im here if you need anything

And another from another friend.

[3 New Message Notifications:] TG: (y/n)!!!!! omg did u see that video?? TG: why would they pos that omg are u alright ??? TG: call me when u see this!! ok? <3 lov u

And another.

[6 New Message Notifications:] GA: Hello, (Y/n). I Am Very Sorry To Bother You, As I’m Sure I’m Not The First Person To Reach Out Today, But I Just Read The Article That Came Out. I’m Not Sure If You’ve Seen It Yet, And I Can Provide To You The Cyberlink If You Would Like To Have A Look. GA: But Anyhow, The Aforementioned News Has Made Both Rose And I Quite Concerned For Your Well-Being. I Am Reaching Out On Both Our Behaves. GA: I’m Aware I’m Probably Not The Most Riveting Of Individuals To Talk Over The Phone With About These Things, But If You Would Like You’re Welcome To Join Us For Dinner Tonight. Or Really Any Day This Week, With The Exception Of Saturday. Just Let One Of Us Know. GA: I Can See In The Short Video Someone Uploaded To Social Media, That You Look Significantly Intoxicated. As You Know, Rose Struggled With This Problem For A Short Period Of Time During Our Trip On The Meteor, And She And I Would Be More Than Willing To Help You In Any Way We Can.

You stop reading. You’re not in the mood to have a Lalonde-Maryam intervention via text right now.

Your heart is racing with anxiety at this sudden vulnerable internet exposure that also doubles as an attack to your person. You don’t even want to click the link. But of course you have to.

When you click the link Jade sent you, you’re taken to the Troll Kingdom National News™️ page. It’s of course an article about you. As you read further into it, you see it’s more specifically about your date last night. Apparently paparazzi had been there in secret to snoop on your date, but instead they ended up catching you freaking out at the poor guy, and then at the waiter, and then storming out. They wrote the article in such a narrative that made it seem like you had just killed everyone at the restaurant’s mother’s collectively and then did a little jig on their dead bodies. The video didn’t make it look any better either. It was only 20 seconds, in which you had just finished yelling about something to your date, throwing your wine in his face, and then proceeded to curse at and flip off the waiter as he came to presumably escort you out.

Holy shit. You can’t even imagine why you would have an outrage like that if it wasn’t at least somehow warranted. Even being drunk, you’re never really aggressive. If anything you get wicked giggly and stupid, so something must’ve prompted you to get upset.

Nevertheless, this is seriously concerning, and no words can describe how embarrassed you feel right now. You don’t even want to leave the bathroom.

You don’t for a good 20 minutes, and may or may not have cried silently to yourself during that time. Contemplating if maybe the laws of god-death would consider the taking of your own life a Just one, since you basically just violated two men publicly last night. You don’t try it though obviously, you’re not that dramatic.

Eventually though, you manage to get over yourself and head to the kitchen. To your surprise, Dave is already in there, cooking what smells like eggs. Cooking two days in a row… Interesting. Suspicious.

“Morning.” He says to you, without even having to look at you, as he flips something in the pan. It's probably good he doesn't look because you definitely look like hell right now and very clearly had just cried.

“Hey… Yeah.. Good morning.” You say, almost as if hesitating. You’re still so embarrassed about last night and you don’t even know fully what happened.

It’s so. So uncomfortably silent. It’s painful. Instead of continuing to just stand there awkwardly, you walk over to the dinner table and have a seat. The chairs are high, which doesn’t really make any sense because Dave is the tallest person in the house and he’s not even that tall. You curse these chairs everytime you have to get up on them.

“So.” Dave says, breaking the silence, totally nor awkward at all.

“So…”

“Sooooo hows your head?” He asks, and he's still not looking at you.

“Huh? Oh. Right. It’s fine. Still kinda hurts, but I think the medicine I took is kicking in.” You respond.

“Cool. Thats good.” He says back simply.

“Yeah…”

You look out the window to your left. The curtain is only open right now since Karkat is asleep. You’ll probably close it once he wakes up. But it’s nice having the sunlight beam into the kitchen for once.

“So um…” Dave tries again to cut the silence.

“Hm?” You look over at him again.

“Your uh. Date last night, huh?” He says, ominously.

“Uhhh…” You’re not sure how to answer, especially because you’re not sure how much he knows, and you clearly don't know anything. “Yeah, yknow… It was… a date.”

“Haha. Yeah.” He says, and wow you're finally noticing how tense and awkward he's being right now. You were too anxious and in your own world before, but... Yeah something's definitely up.

Silence again.

Okay, this is getting a little ridiculous. You and Dave have known each other since you were super young, and have been best friends for several years. There’s no reason to for it to be this uncomfortable. Yet, you can’t think of anything to say. Think harder.

You remember you still don’t know what he’s cooking for.

“What’re you making?” You ask finally.

“Omelettes. You want one, right?” He responds easily, noticeably a little less tense at the subject change.

“Yeah, of course! You know I like-“

“Cheese and jalapeños. I got you.” He says cooly, nodding to you.

“You’re the best.” You smile, feeling a little more relaxed now. “I’m surprised you’re cooking. We like, never cook. Are you picking up a new hobby? Or maybe to compete with Karkat to be the house's new best chef or something?” You joke.

“Nah. i just figured you could use some food in your system after last night. That's not alchemized.” He replies and your smile drops. Oh. He did it for you. Suddenly you feel bad again, even though you should probably be flattered.

“But we should probably start cooking more anyways.” He adds.

“Yeah, you’re right.” You nod.

“I mean it's never been proven that alchemized food is any worse for you, but it's just. Food that appears… out of buttfuck nowhere? Like there's gotta be some kinda catch." He starts flipping the eggs or whatever that motion is when you're finishing up an omelette. You don't know, clearly you're the worst cook of you guys at this point. "Like imagine years from now we're gonna find out that we weren't supposed to eat the stuff we make from alchemizers. And it turns out that eating this shit is giving us some like magical Sburb parasite that'll turn us into zombies or some fucked up Sburb equivalent. Oh shit get ready for earth apocalypse. Part three. Or. Uh...Part four maybe? I cant keep track.”

You laugh, relaxing even more. He makes a good point, although highly exaggerated.

“Yeah, that’s true. Hey, you ever notice that Sburb sounds like sperm? Have we ever mentioned that?”

“Dude. Yes. Who the fuck named that game??” The two of you laugh at this together. You smile seeing the look on his face, even from this angle. "And yeah I'm pretty sure I've talked to someone about that. No way no one's not mentioned it yet. Maybe it was June I was talking too..." He trails off, thinking about this.

This would actually be a pretty nice morning, had that article not been released. Just thinking about it downs your mood again. You’re gonna have to address it eventually. But you're curious what he already knows. What happened between you throwing a tantrum at that restaurant and waking up in bed with Dave and Karkat? The curiosity is killing you, but you can't possibly bring yourself to ask.

You snap out of your thoughts when Dave approaches you with your breakfast. He sets it down in front of you, and takes a seat beside you with two more plates. This is when he finally looks at you and you catch how his eyebrows raise slightly and then he goes back to a neutral expression. He probably decides it's better not to mention it.

He pulls out his phone to routinely watch his funny videos while he eats. You can’t bring yourself to do the same, you don’t want to even touch your phone at all at this point.

“Should we wake up Karkat?” You ask after a few minutes of eating in silence. Or, silence plus audio from whatever Dave is watching.

“Nah. He's awake, he was just still getting ready. His whole morning routine thing.” He answers.

“Ohh.. okay.”

Just then, you start to hear someone coming down the stairs.

“Speak of the troll.” He says, smiling.

You smile back, at the fact that he reused your term from yesterday. When Karkat enters the room, he’s looking intensely at something on his phone. And he looks very bothered. Actually, bothered would be an understatement. He locks eyes with you when he looks up from the device.

Oh boy.

“[Y/n], I really hope you’ve seen that video that went viral like thirty minutes ago??? The one Jade and Kanaya are both fucking spamming me about?”

Damn those worried friends of yours. Loudmouths, all of them!

“What? What video?” Dave asks, looking up from his phone to join the conversation.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You turn away and cross your arms defensively. Dave examines you and can clearly see that you’re lying.

“BULLSHIT. Y'know when you said you told your date off last night, I didn’t think you meant ‘cause a huge scene, ruin his outfit, AND assault a minimum wage worker’ type of telling off!”

Hm. You must have said something to him last night. Karkat should really be the last one crucifying you for your rudeness in the video honestly. He’d probably have done worse at some point if he actually went out regularly. But you know he’s only saying it because it’s unlike you. Which means something’s going on. You wish you could explain, but at this point he probably knows more than you do.

“Okay, fine, yes I’ve seen the video! What about it? I messed up, okay?!” You blurt out, not really thinking about what you're saying.

Dave is still clearly lost.

“Guys. What video? What are we talking about?” He asks again.

“Did jade not send you a link?” Karkat snaps at him, finally answering. Sort of.

“Oh no I haven’t checked my messages. Hold on.” Dave says and you can tell his switching apps now.

“How is it that the first thing you do every morning is check your phone, but you never check your messages?!” Karkat bickers at him, throwing his arms up to his shoulders in bewilderment.

“Got got more important stuff to attend to. Obviously.” Dave responds sarcastically.

You panic a little. You’re not sure your mental state can take having to watch them watch you have an embarrassing mental break down.

“I just had a little bit of a meltdown at the restaurant last night. I was drunk, okay? I wasn’t in the right headspace... I-” You start.

“Oh yeah we knew that already. But it got posted online?” Dave cuts you off, still trying to find this video.

Okay. Apparently you talked to both of them.

“Yes, but yknow we really don’t have to watch-“ You start, only to get cut off again.

“Oh shit she did send it to me. With like 20 other messages. Jesus.” You’re curious what the messages could be, but you think you’d be okay staying oblivious to be honest. “So did Rose. And Roxy. And Dirk?? but he just sent the link and nothing else. What the hell? He's so weird sometimes.” Dave rambles as he finally checks his messages.

You roll your eyes. “Okay, we get it. Everyone’s talking about it, can you just not-“

Aaand the videos playing. You groan and cover your ears. You’re reconsidering that whole god-death thing right now. This is a nightmare.

The video is short, but it still feels like forever. When it's done playing, Dave stares at the phone for a minute, silent.

“…Wow.”

Then, both Karkat and Dave turn to look at you, and you feel their eyes bore into you before you can even bring yourself to look back at them. When you do, they both have different looks of worry painted on their faces, and you start to get anxious. You look back and forth between them, and you can feel yourself start to sweat. It feels like you’re in the hot seat, about to be grilled. You notice you’ve been bouncing your leg anxiously.

“[Y/n]… Its okay, we can-“ Dave starts, but nope you're not even gonna let him finish that. You know the pity-fest this is about to turn into and you do not want to attend.

“IM GONNA GO TO MY ROOM!” You shout out suddenly, surprising all three of you. But you don’t waste time immediately getting out of there, pushing past Karkat, and absconding up the stairs.

—————————————————————

Okay, now let’s back up to about 12 hours ago.

I hope you’re not annoyed about all the time hopping. Because this is a Homestuck story, so honestly what were you expecting?

I’m sure you’re curious as to what really happened, so we’ll jump into the perspective of our two friends for a little bit.

Not long after you had left for your date, the two of them had made dinner, ate together, played a few more games, watched a movie, and possibly other things they wouldn't be comfortable with saying outloud, for a while. Now they were just waiting for you to get home, biding time. They had no obligation to of course (as permitted by you earlier), but they always did. Especially considering the fact that lately all your dates have almost always ended in an intoxicated [Y/n] tripping over themselves in the hallway when they got home. Truthfully though, they didn’t mind. Most times it was actually pretty fun, since it did get kinda boring without you around for long periods of time. It’s become kind of a routine, hanging out with drunk/tipsy [Y/n] after midnight until they passed out. However, now the two of them were also starting to worry you might be developing a bad habit.

They both lay on the couch now, Karkat flat on his back, and Dave laying by his side with his face resting on his chest. Dave’s so comfy right now, he feels like he’s about to fall asleep, but he’s not letting himself. Karkat’s staring at the ceiling, mind running with thoughts of where you might be. Both of them silently worrying to themselves. It had been quiet for a while between them after their movie ended. Just the home menu for the DVD they watched playing the same track over and over quietly, the colorful screen being the only illumination in the room.

“It’s past midnight. Do you think they’re okay?” Kartkat spurts out suddenly, breaking a long silence.

“No clue.” Dave mumbles back “You wanna try calling them again?”

“No…” He mutters quietly. Dave listens to Karkats chest take a big sigh of breath, his head moving up and then down with it.

There’s a beat of silence.

“I mean- Do you think they’re just not coming home tonight?” Karkat offers.

“Nah, they always come home. They’d have told us if they weren’t” Dave responds calmly, trying to ease his boyfriends worries by doing so.

“Yeah, but maybe they forgot. They never come home this late.” Karkat continues anyways.

“Hey.” Dave pushes himself up a little onto his elbow, so he’s looking down at Karkat. “I'm sure they're fine. If they're not back in an hour, I'll go fly around and look for them, kay?”

Karkat sighs again, blushing a little at the minimal distance between them and the intense eye contact, with Dave’s shade being off his face and sitting on the coffee table. Dave had quite the intense stare sometimes. Karkats never sure if it’s because he barely sees his boyfriends eyes, or if they’re just like that naturally, or for other reasons… “Yeah, okay. Sorry. I probably sound paranoid as shit right now.”

“Nah your'e good, you sound normal. I'm worried too but it's fine. It'll be fine.” Dave says, laying back down and avoiding eye contact now. That and the triple reassurance makes Karkat suspect that Dave is not as calm as he's letting on.

“Right... And you're sure you’re not as worried as me?” He says skeptically.

“Of course I am. Buttt I dunno, freaking out probably wont help anything right now.” Dave admits.

“You’re right…” Karkat nods.

Dave moves himself a bit, now tucked into Karkat’s neck. Karkat begins to purr quietly, indicating to Dave that he’s finally relaxing a little. Good.

There’s another few minutes of silence.

"I just really hope this guy wasn’t a piece of shit like the others, and that’s why they’ve been gone so long. Maybe they’re just having the time of their life snogging on him right now or something, they forgot to tell us they’d be late.” Karkat says suddenly, breaking the silence again.

“Yeah…. That'd.. Be cool.” Dave replies, not really believing his own words. That would technically be best scenario, yes. But... would it really?

It’s quiet as they both separately imagine what you having a boyfriend might be like. You’d probably be gone a lot more, or bringing him over all the time, or both. The thought makes them both feel weird for the same reason.

“If that's the case I at least hope he's cool. It'd suck if they started dating someone lame and we had to pretend like he isn't all the time for their sake.” Dave adds.

“Or worse, if he’s just straight up annoying.” Karkat agrees.

“Yeah honestly.” Dave sighs.

“I don't even know why they keep going out with mediocre ass people. It’s like they just close their eyes and point to someone at random. They can do a lot better than that.” Karkat says with a scowl.

“Yeah. But it's their life so we cant really do much about it. If they wanna be with someone's annoying or mediocre ass we'll just have to deal with it.” Dave comments, albeit a bit unhappily.

“Oh, fuck that. I'm their morail I'm... I'm not just going to let them date anyone. They deserve someone who... Who appreciates them and-" Karkat starts.

"And loves them, right, but if that person happens to be someone lame or annoying then what? What if said person makes them really happy?" Dave questions, and it makes sense for it to be towards Karkat, but he's also asking himself.

"Then... then..." Karkat stutters and then goes silent.

Dave glances up at him a bit, though he can't really see Karkat's face with how he's positioned right now.

"I mean... I'll support them if that's what they really want. As long as that person is good for them, I wouldn't stand for anyone who didn't have [Y/n]'s best interest in mind or wanted to use them but-... Yeah, even if I don't like the perosn, if they're good to [Y/n] and they love them then fine. I guess, if it was really a problem, they might just move out... and we'd have to deal with seeing them less, right?" Karkat rambles, as he brings up a hand to run through his hair.

Karkat's fist tightens on his hair and Dave involuntarily frowns at the thought.

“Man… I'm not gonna lie that would fucking suck.” Dave says tightly.

“Yeah. It really would.” Karkat agrees immediately.

Another beat of silence.

"Why do we even care so much about their love-life anyways?" Dave says quietly, but there's not really a way to be quiet when you're literally right next to someone's ear.

"Dave, I get that you still don't totally understand troll romance because you didn't grow up with it, but this is typical moirallegiance. We're their morail, we want to bring out the best in them. To see them happy and being at their full potential-" Karkat starts.

"No, no I get that." Dave says, shaking his head.

"Oh." Karkat feels kinda bad now about having trollsplained the concept to him, blushing a little.

"I just mean like- I mean obviously we wanna see them happy. Even if we weren't morails, that's what human friendship is like too. You wouldn't sit back and watch your best friend being in some fucked up relationship. Of course you'd want to help. But it's different it's not just that. We're just- Why are we..." He trails off a bit, not really sure what he's even trying to ask. Karkats now shifted his body to the side so he can look down at Dave's face. Karkat has a look of confusion that asks Dave to continue his question, though he doesn't think he wants to anymore.

"It's just that... Like why do I feel so shitty at the thought entirely?" Dave finishes, staring at the symbol on Karkat's shirt.

"Of them being with someone with an unbearable personality?" Karkat asks back.

"No!" Dave blurts out and then catches himself because, if that's not what he meant, then what did he mean?

"I-I mean... Yeah. That." He corrects himself.

Karkat looks a bit thoughtful for a moment. "Well, because it obviously affects us too. We'd no doubt have to see and hear about this person all the time. So it makes sense." He assures him, running his hand through Dave's hair now. Dave just sighs at this.

A little more time goes by like this, laying together quietly, both lost in their own thoughts.

“Hey, remember that one time that troll dropped them off and he tried to come inside, but his horns were fucking enormous and he dented the doorway???” Karkat brings up suddenly, trying to lighten the mood.

Dave snorts when he stifles a laugh. That was hilarious. Karkat was freaking out at the time, just going off on the dude for ruining their doorframe. He made the guy feel so bad that he seriously came back the next day to help fix it. That was actually one of the better dates, but you said he was ‘too sweet’ for you. Whatever the hell that means.

“Oh man dude remember when that one gym-bro-looking guy came for the date way too early while [Y/n] was still out doing something?” Dave says, remembering back on another failed date.

“Oh fuck! Yeah, we had to entertain him for like two hours.” Karkat laughs, rolling his eyes.

“God that dude fucking SUCKED at smash.” Dave snorts.

“Seriously. It's like he’d never touched a console in his life.” Karkat agrees.

“Judging that dude's demeanor he was probably hoping for a different type of smash. I can’t think of any other reason someone would show up like four fuckin hours early. Unless he has no idea what a clock is? Just senses the time by licking his finger and feeling the air or some shit.”

“Gross. But yeah, probably.” Karkat says with a look of disgust. He'd never thought about it that way, but that's probably a good thing. If he'd known that was the guys intention he'd probably get the urge to murder him.

“Instead he got two random dudes absolutely serving his ass to him on the Wii.” Dave says triumphantly and holds his fist out for Karkat who begrudgingly fist bumps him back. He knows better than to refuse, seeing as Dave will probably just find a way to make him anyways.

They both chuckle again a little at the reliving of this memory. See, the whole situation wasn’t all that bad. It made for funny moments to look back on. But they were both hoping you would get over this phase sometime soon. Assuming it was a ‘phase’.

Then, the boys hear muffled footsteps and the jingling of keys from beyond the hallway. It makes them both sit up immediately when they register, not noticing how excited they were at the fact that you were finally back. They sit on the couch, heads facing the hallway, anticipating the usual sound of the door opening followed by slurred “IM HOMEE”’s. But…

The key jingling goes on for much longer than usual. It sounds like you drop them, pick them up, drop them again, pick them up, drop them again, and then let out a frustrated/defeated whine. They share a look at each other and have to hold back their laughter listening to the absurd struggle happening outside.

Karkat's smile drops a little when he keeps listening. "Are they alone out there?”

“Maybe? I don't hear anyone else.” Dave replies with a shrug, now also frowning a little.

When the sounds go quiet like you'd given up, the two of them then stand up together. Dave grabs his shades off the table and Karkat fixes his shirt a bit before they both head down the hallway towards the front door.

You’re still lazily trying at the lock, and groaning quietly to yourself as you continue to struggle. Dave is the first one to reach the door as he unlocks the 3 different locks (thanks to Dirk. god knows why he wanted to install that many.), finally opening the entrance up to you. However, you were actually leaning your entire body weight on it for some fucking reason, and thus go tumbling straight forward onto him.

“Woah!!!” “Holy shit!” They both yell out as Karkat reaches out to help catch you, and Dave tries not to fall over at the sudden impact.

“Are you okay [Y/n]?!” Karkat shouts and is now helping you both to your feet. Dave steadies you as you struggle to stand up straight.

"Yeah I'm awesome, thanks." Dave answers instead sarcastically. Karkat only throws a scowl his way in response.

You look an absolute mess. Your makeup is running, there’s dirt and presumably wine on your outfit, and your coat is just completely gone, so you look like you’re absolutely freezing. Your feet throb with pain due to the uncomfortable pair of shoes you just walked all the way home in. Granted, you could’ve floated home, but sometimes that's more dangerous when you’re drunk. From your perspective, the room feels like it’s rocking back and forth like you’re on a boat.

“What the hell? What happened???” Dave asks, absolutely bewildered at how fucked up you look, as he starts to lead you further into the house. Karkat takes a look outside before he closes the door. No guy, no car, no sign of anything really.

“[Y/n], did you walk all the way back here???” Karkat asks as he shuts the door and turns back around to follow behind the two of you.

You giggle really hard suddenly, sniffling a bit. “Hejhe yeahhhhhh…. HIC.. buttt isokay becus iem ere now!” You say, strangely happy despite looking like you just had the most miserable experience of your life. You lean into Dave, snuggling into his shoulder. “an et wasn’t .. thaaat faur. jus like. sum blocks.”

“Jesus you must've drank a shit ton if you're still this drunk right now. Was it that fucking bad?” Dave asks and you'd be able to sense the tension in his voice if you weren't two sheets to the fucking wind right now.

You only hum in response, closing your eyes. Your weight is completely on Dave now and he stumbles a bit as he stops at the bottom of the steps. Karkat comes up behind him and helps to support you as the three of you start to make your way up the steps. It’s a funny sight. They’re basically commanding you on how to walk.

When you get up to your room, they lay you down on the bed and you immediately feel weightless, like you could pass out right there. Were your blankets always this soft? What brand of laundry detergent have you been using? This shit smells and feel awesome.

This is what you're vaguely mumbling and giggling about to yourself as your two friends just watch you in concerned shock.

Dave is pissed. It’s almost like the roles are reversed, since Karkat was usually the one to get pissed off about shit like this, but even he’s more worried right now. Worried about both you and Dave, because if he can sense his anger just from looking at his shade-covered face then it must be bad.

“[Y/n], why the fuck would you walk all the way here alone absolutely shit faced??? Are you fucking stupid? Do you know what could’ve happened to you?!” He shouts at you, and you flinch a little at his volume.

It’s quiet after, even Karkat just stands beside him and watches, since he couldn’t have summed it up better really.

You don’t answer, and you’re smiling while you’re slowly falling asleep, which sets him off. He goes and sits next to you on the bed, pulling you to sit up-right by the shoulders. You groan a bit at the sudden man-handling, but you don't really open your eyes to look at him.

“Hey! You don't get to fall asleep yet, we need an explanation.” He says firmly, but that still doesn't seem to get type of reaction from you at all.

“Mnnnn… whaa?” Your consciousness feels like it’s fading in and out. You don’t even remember what he just asked you.

“It’s fine, Dave. Let's just let them sleep. We can grill them tomorrow when they’re sober and not about to pass the fuck out. Look at them, they can’t even keep eye contact. They look like they're in another fucking dimension right now.” Karkat comments, gesturing a hand at your face which, indeed looks like you're on another planet or being possessed or some shit. Your eyes are kinda open, but eyes rolled back and mouth hung open a bit as you fall out of consciousness.

“Dude you think they're gonna remember any of this tomorrow? Wer'e all gonna be clueless as fuck for the rest of forever as to what the hell just happened tonight.” Dave argues, looking at his boyfriend. Karkat doesn’t have anything to say back, not really knowing anything about human intoxication. Not more than Dave does at least.

Dave turns back to you.

“[Y/N]!” He shouts suddenly.

“AH! H-HUH?!” You shout, bewildered, as Dave shakes you comically by the shoulders.

“WHY DID YOU WALK HOME ALONE??? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST CALL US?! WE CALLED YOU LIKE TEN TIMES.”

“Bwuhhgg…. I jush.. dednt wana bother you guyss..” You respond slowly when he stops shaking you, now pouting. You're not making eye contact, but it can be easily passed off as literally not being able to. Your head is just flopped over on your shoulder and Daves hand, gazing lazily at your own lap.

Dave’s aggression very quickly subsides after hearing this. He sighs. “Dude… You're never a bother. You gotta tell us when this stuff happens. We were worried.” He tells you seriously. Karkat just continues to watch in silence since gentle heartfelt confrontation like this isn't too easy for him.

You frown, only humming lowly a bit in response.

“Okay??? Say you'll call us next time!!” He says, shaking you again, but more lighthearted and gentle this time.

“Mmmnnnokayyyyee! .. I will.. I will!” You promise and giggle a bit. Dave smiles at this as well.

Your face drops very suddenly and then contorts as everything starts to feel weird. Bad weird. The shaking Dave was doing had canceled out the room rocking for a moment, and then hit you again when he stopped. It's hard to explain. You start to feel kinda sick, and he can see it on your face, because he suddenly looks horrified.

“Ughhgg…” You groan as you lurch forward a bit. Dave immediately stands up to grab your trash bin and brings it over to you. He puts it in your lap, and you cling to it as soon as its there, leaning your head over the side. There's a moment of stillness as Dave watches to see if you're going to hurl right this second. When it seems like it was a false alarm, or at least is gonna take a while, Dave turns to Karkat and lays a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

“Hey just watch them for a sec. I'll be right back.” He says and with that he leaves the room and heads downstairs. Karkat nods and takes a seat next to you where Dave just was. He watches you sit there wrapped around the trash can, face contorting and relaxing as you try not to lose your dinner.

“Was the date really that fucking bad?” He finally asks after a while of watching you.

You glance over at him from your current position. The two of you lock eyes for a moment, and you slowly nod, keeping the same facial expression. He sighs.

“Kartkat…” You say quietly. He keeps his gaze on you, nodding slightly at his name. The gaze you two share seems really intimate for some reason. From his point of view you look so innocent, sweet. You look- “I.. I’m shorry-HUGGHHHGGGG”

And now you are barfing. Karkat immediately gags and turns away, having to watch that disgusting show of vomit leave your body. You can’t say this is your most graceful moment. You cough and gag a bit until your body settles down and all that's left is the burn of acid down your throat.

There’s a dead silence as you both sit there, motionless, too scared to move for different reasons. Then you’re throwing up again with a loud hurl. More coughing and gagging, and then the silence returns. It lasts for a while before you decide to speak again.

“Karkkaat.." You groan, the soreness from your throat making speaking kinda painful. "I'm ssorrryHICsorryyy.. Ughh”

“For what? Other than making me watch that just now.” He says, still not looking at you, avoiding the last incident from happening again.

You groan again. “Ffor.. Making youu worry… An dave-“ You gag like you’re going to throw up again, and Karkat flinches, but nothing happens. You whine a bit, clearly in pain, though obviously self-inflicted. Still, it makes something tug at Karkat's heart.

“Its fine, [Y/n]. Just maybe… Don't get this fucked up again?” He says, and he can hear the rustling of the plastic bag in the trash as you nod against it. “Or like, maybe make sure you tell us if you do.” He adds.

“Mmmmnn.. its.. iss embarassig..” You’re really leaning your face completely on the side of the bin, squishing your cheek and your words.

“Yeah, it is. I don't really know why you keep doing it, honestly. I'm pretty sure you had never even touched alcohol before six months ago.“ He comments firmly. There’s a pause. ”You’re better than this.”

His last phrase stings and makes you quite sad. You're disappointed in yourself, for disappointing them, for making them worried. You suppose you thought maybe they wouldn't care this much about you anymore, but you know in reality that's silly. It's just much easier to hurt yourself when you don't have to think about how it'll affect other people, right? You convinced yourself that they moved onto matespritship together and left you behind, but that's not true, they're still your morails. You are their concern, and it's not a burden because they choose to do it. There's a lump in your stomach as you realize that still means they can still choose not to, and perhaps they might after tonight.

Right now, you’re not even sure when or how this substance abuse really started either. You try to pinpoint it in your mind, but it’s hard in your current state. You know it’s never been this bad. You’re pretty sure.

“But, yknow, I get it.” Karkat adds suddenly, pulling you from your thoughts. You curiously perk your head up a little, gazing at him as he now stares forward. You’re really admiring his face right now more than you usually do, or more like you’re allowing yourself to. Karkat is really very charming up close, his facial features round and soft, contradicting his constant demeanor. And his teeth… You’re staring at his lips now. You can’t make yourself look away. “It's hard to break out of self-inflicted bad habits. Nobody’s perfect, [Y/n]. I mean, you know that. Hell, I’d be the last person to say I'm without flaws, right? I just… Want to know why you’re doing this…”

He turns to make eye contact with you again. You stare deep into his eyes, and it pulls at your heart strings. The intoxication is making it hard for you to hold back the things you usually do. It’s making the pain, and the guilt, and the longing worse. You wish you could tell him. You wish you could just say it and get it over with.

You let go of the bin with one hand and place it gently on top of Karkats, who flinches slightly. You watch him glance at his hand and and then back up at you. You keep a soft gaze with him as you feel his fingers move to intertwine with yours.

Right, Karkat is your morail. He's been your morail since the meteor. You two have been through it all together, the creation of this universe itself. He's here for you, he's not going anywhere. You're reminded of the first time Karkat and you shared an intimate moment like this, though much more wholesome. Karkat's dark bedroom, only illuminated by the light of a small screen playing some movie neither of you bothered to pay attention to. That day with his warm hand in yours, the other on your cheek as your foreheads touch and you're so close you can feel the heat radiating from him. Suddenly you're 16 again, crying and confiding in the only person you've ever been intimate with in a not-quite-romantic, but not-quite-not-romantic way.

You get it now, it's different. Moirallegience was great, and you're so grateful Karkat taught you about it, but it's not what you wanted. Maybe it's what you needed at the time, when you were a kid dealing and with everything that happened, and you're thankful you had it. But it's different now. You yearn for more... You flipped quadrants. You're totally flushed for him. You knew this, but it's finally solidified in your mind. You can't stay pale if this is really what you want.

“Karkat…… Mmm..I..” You start, but your words fall short for a moment as Karkat reaches over with his other hand and wipes some tears from your face that you hadn't realized had started falling. He doesn't look at you with pity at all. In fact, once he's done drying your face, he goes back to gazing at you calmly, waiting patiently for you to get your thoughts together. You're not feeling nearly as nauseous anymore, but your mind is jumbled and you're not exactly sure how you want to say what you need to.

It’s silent. You can only hear slight thuds or clanks from downstairs.

“I just… I.. Um..” You stutter lamely, and Karkat nods again for you continue. You can see him giving you a look now that reads kinda like 'alright spit it out', because he's clearly trying not to pressure you, but no one likes suspense. Same as when someone texts you 'hey we need to talk', and then leaves you on read for several hours.

You have to tell him. You’d never do it sober, but if you say it now maybe you wouldn’t have to think about it later. And it would just be over with. Karkat stares at you, waiting for a finished sentence. You glance at your hands again and think about how patient he's being for you right now. It all just feels so gentle. So different from how Karkat normally is. You feel extremely vulnerable in this moment.

Do it.

“I… thuh truth is..” You say as Karkat nods again, and as if feeling the energy of what you're going to say, he subconsciously leans in towards you. You can hear theloud footsteps of Dave making his way back upstairs now. Quickly, say it!

“that I reelly…… I really lo-“

“Alright. I'm back bros." Dave cuts in, making his entrance at the best possible time ever. He's carrying a handful of things as he makes his way over to your desk with them, not really noticing whatever type of moment you and Karkat might've been having. "What'd I miss?”

You slump back down onto the bin. Chance lost. Karkat looks a bit confused for a second at this and then shakes it off, looking to Dave now.

“Oh, nothing major. Just them barfing their damn brains out and subjecting me to watch against my will.” He comments sarcastically.

“Aw what! I can't believe I missed that.” Dave laughs, and he seems pretty calm now, a lighter attitude from before. He approaches you, and you can tell he stops in front of you. "[Y/n] how funny was Karkat's reaction to you hurling? One to ten."

"Seriously?!" Karkat protests and you hear a sudden 'ack!' from Dave as Karkat elbows him. "They're not gonna answer a stupid question like that when they're very clearly currently dying, asshat!! What the hell were you even downstairs doing that whole time?!"

"I w-" He starts, but stops when he hears you mutter something muffled into the bin, not at all understandable.

"What?" Karkat asks, prompting you to repeat.

You lift up your head slightly, just enough to be out of the bin so you can be heard. "...Eight." You answer flatly.

There's only a second of surprised quiet before Dave snorts and lets out a laugh at this.

"WHAT THE HELL?! HOW COULD YOU KNOW YOU WERE HEAD FIRST IN THAT DAMN TRASHCAN!!!" Karkat shouts at you and you just smile to yourself, feeling a little better again with this distraction.

"I knew it." Dave says with a smirk when he calms down. Then he leans down, taking the bin carefully from under you, and you groan as you have to hold yourself up again now. He offers out the biggest fuckin' jug of water you've ever seen and stares down at you. You stare back up.

“Drink.” He says bluntly.

“…Bhut I do-” You start to protest.

“Don't care, Didn't ask. Just drink that ish.” He orders you, still blunt, but joking at the same time.

“…Okay…” You reluctantly take the absurdly large container of water.

“All of it.” He adds.

“All uf it?!!?!” You repeat in disbelief.

“Yup.”

You whine a little, and yet you still comply, opening the top and beginning to chug some of it down.

Then, he places a paper bowl with a generous amount of heated-up spaghetti and meatballs in your lap. You stop chugging to look at it, and then back up at Dave, clearly confused.

“You just barfed your stomach up, right? Gotta eat something.”

You look to Karkat now. “Is dis your-“

“Yeah, I made it.” He answers before you can finish, arms crossed now. Probably still pissed at you two picking on him earlier.

You hum quietly in response, smiling as you go to take a bite, and then continue to chug water.

Karkat watches Dave as he ties up the bag in the trash bin that he took from you. He cringes a bit at the perhaps sight or smell of it. Or both. Karkat would never say it, but he finds the way Dave’s taking care of you to be really adorable and endearing. This isn't exactly a flushed feeling, it's one he's gotten before when the three of you were pale, though they can go hand-in-hand sometimes. He's happy that you all take care of each other like this, but specifically you right now who happens to now be his only morail.

“Where’d you even learn all this anti-hangover shit again?” He asks Dave, leaning back on his hands as he continues to watch him.

“Combination of tips from Roxy and Dirk mostly." He answers, taking an air freshener off your dresser and beginning to spray it around in some places.

You giggle, almost spitting up some of the water. “Hehe… akayay mum an dad” You mumble senselessly to yourself.

“Since you know Roxy used to be like a full blown alcoholic. And Dirk just.. knows things? He’s like an fuckin' encyclopedia as a person, from all the time he spent being… I don't know, chronically online and alone growing up. Comes in handy I guess.” He shrugs.

Now that you’re eating, hydrating, and seem to not be as out of it anymore, Dave comes to sit beside you on the opposite side from Karkat. You sit in silence, looking down at the plate, and basically just zoning out while you eat. Head empty. Dave and Karkat share a look, and then look back to you.

“Sooo…" Dave starts slowly "You wanna talk about tonight?”

“Yeah, what the hell happened?” Karkat adds.

You have to stop and think about it for a moment.

What did happen? What happened… what happened… Oh! …Oh.

They watch you go through the range of different facial expressions while you think, ending with one that looks suddenly uncomfortable and embarrassed.

“It's okay, you can tell us. Seriously. We wont judge you or any dumb shit like that.” Dave assures you.

“Speak for yourself.” Karkat jokes.

“Dude!” Dave shoots him a look.

“I'M JOKING! WHAT, SO YOU CAN CRACK JOKES ABOUT THEM VOMITING BUT I CAN'T-“

“I whent off on ‘im… Got rreaaally mad..” You say suddenly, Karkat going silent when you finally speak up. You frown, and they go back to looking at you. Karkat puts a supportive hand on your back, and Dave follows suit with him.

“What'd he do? Was he being a dick?” Dave asks gently.

You shake your head. “Nnot reelly… he was nice… he jus…” You fiddle a bit with the top of the water bottle. “He sed some stuff….. about…”

The boys wait patiently for you to finish, but you don’t.

“About what?” Karkat's the first to ask impatiently.

You don’t answer. The silence is a bit unsettling. It's like something is bounding your mouth to stay shut, to not admit anything.

“About your music?” Dave guesses, but you shake your head.

“Your outfit?” Karkat tries, but you shake your head again.

“Then what was it?” Dave asks again, a bit lost.

It’s continues to stay quiet. You’re fighting off spilling your heart out to them right now. Literally as hard as you can. You’re gripping the water bottle now, with both hands.

“Just tell us. It's fine. It can't be as bad as you think.” Karkat insists, and you know it's not meant to be pushy or anything. He's just trying to assure you that you're safe to say whatever it is.

“Yeah, if you don't then we're gonna have to start playing charades or something.” Dave says, trying to ease the mood. It still doesn’t warrant a reaction, which subtly worries him a bit more. They both lean down to get a look at what your facial expression is. To their immediate surprise, you had started crying.

You’re not even sure when the tears started coming. Your head just feels like it’s racing and the intoxication is not helping you calm down or hold back, of course. You just can’t hold it in. Not now. And now that they see you’re crying, more tears start coming, and short sobs start to escape you.

“[Y/N]??” Karkat blurts out in surprise, immediately reaching for you to calm you down.

“Wait hold on wait wait wait. It's fine, you don't have to tell us then!” Dave stutters out in a panic as Karkat holds your face and tries to wipe tears from you, but they're not stopping any time soon. Karkat's touch only makes it worse, it just reminds you how you really feel for him. For both of them. They both think it's pale, but they has no idea how you feel! At all! You pull away from him and go back to looking at the floor, gripping the water bottle so tight you're surprised it hasn't exploded. Karkat wilts a little at this deflection.

They both start to panic a little, not sure how to comfort you when they’re not even sure what’s really going on. You almost never cry in front of them anymore, unless it’s about a movie or game or something. You used to cry on the meteor sometimes, but that feels like forever ago now.

Dave slides off the bed to kneel in front of you, moving the bowl off your lap, and taking one of your hands in his hesitantly. Karkat starts to rub your back where his hand has been sitting. Normally with anyone outside the three of you he's not the best with physical comfort, but he knows you, and he knows exactly what helps you to calm down when you're like this.

“Hey… Hey. [Y/n]. Look at me.” Dave says up to you ever so softly. His fingers intertwine with yours now and you feel like you want to yank your heart out of your chest with how bad it aches.

You reluctantly make eye contact with Dave. It’s hard when you’re not only overflowing with a lot of confusing emotions, but also quite embarrassed about this whole thing.

“Listen, I'm sorry we asked, okay? You don’t have to tell us. It's gonna be fine. Everything's fine” He assures you sweetly. Karkat nods with this.

You bring a hand up to wipe at least some of your tears away. You glance back and forth between the water bottle and Dave, then nodding. Now you’re also blushing from the embarrassment of having them tend to you like this. It feels nice, but it also hurts at the same time in a way that's hard to explain.

You glance at where he’s still holding your hand. Dave's hand is bigger than yours. Not in really in width, but moreso in lenth. You always thought his hands were pretty, slender and gentle in that way. You hardly get to hold his hand since moirallegience type intimacy doesn't come as naturally to you two as it does with Karkat. But there are moments like this one, where you get to connect with him like this. Your heart starts to tug again. You frown, biting your lip in frustration.

It hurts. It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts.

You’re gonna say it. Even though every logical voice in your head is screaming at you not to. You’ll never get a moment like this again. And you’re too emotional to even care about the outcome right now.

“Dave… Karkat…” You say in a shaky voice, and they’re both looking at you intently.

“The guyy… He was saying…. Bad stuff abouut… You guys b-“ You’re pushing out clumps of sentences between sobs, or hics, or inhales. “Becuz.. I told him ab-out… How much I.. Love you guys… B-beecause yore my morails… And.. An he said… That it was wierd… For meto feel that way… That it waasnent… moiral feelinngs.. An I..”

You have to take a break from speaking for a moment to try and pull it together a little, and wipe your face a few more times. You’re not looking at either of them, so you can’t see their expression. But they’re hanging onto every word, and they don’t bother to interject yet.

“He was jus… Goingg on about howw.. He was a much better optioun.. And I had to move on b-but I-“

You’re breathing heavy. And Karkat continues to rub your back, which is definitely helping.

You push through. You have to say it. You need to.

“Bhut I….” You squeeze Dave’s hand and your eyes shut, like you’re preparing.

“I don't want to! I…. I DO love you guys! Like love love… like RED love.” You declare finally, and you feel the biggest weight temporarily lift off your shoulders.

Karkats hand stops, and you feel Dave’s grip on your hand loosen a little. This makes you feel worse immediately. You retract from Dave’s hand to completely cover your face with both of yours. Sobbing continues, in fact it might be harder now. You’re a complete mess and you know it. You’re not even regretting what you said, you’re just coping with it. With the fact that the two people you love most on this planet and that you’re in love with, are dating each other, and distancing from you at the same time.

Karkat and Dave are just staring at each other, mouths agape, eyes wide. They have no idea what to even say, and the silence just warrants more venting from you.

“I always loved you guys!! Since the meateor!! I-I think... And then.. You started dating when I LEFT an.. You don't spend as much tiem with me so I.. TRY to find maybhe some one to take my miind off et. But it jus makes me feel wourse!!” You say, exasperated. You still don’t look at them. You can’t do it. The silence makes you feel like you’re pouring yourself out to a wall, and honestly you’re starting to wish that were the case right now. “I jus cant do it and.. IM SORRy… I'm sorryim sorry…… I should… Honesly I should jus leeave.. Sou then you guys can-“

Before you can go any further, you feel two warm embraces take you in. One from your right first and then one from head on. They both pull you into an unintended group hug.

And then… Silence.

Your sobbing and ranting comes to a rapid halt, your breathing still stuttering and gasping a bit for a few moments. You sniffle every couple seconds, but your breathing slows eventually. The embrace completely pulled you out of an intense mind space you didn’t realize you were in until now. The air is completely peaceful, and calm.

The feeling of both their warmths on you lulls you gently into a content, lovely feeling. This is love. Not specific to which quadrant, whatever you’re feeling right now, you just know it as love. You've always had this and it's something you don't ever want to lose. You lean into the hug, nuzzling your face into someone's shoulder, you're not sure which one's.

After staying that way for what felt like forever, and yet still not long enough, Karkat starts to pull back and Dave follows suit with him. You were honestly so relaxed you almost fell asleep! So you’re kinda pulled back into reality again, blinking off the drowsiness.

Dave goes back to his spot sitting next to you, and everyone is still silent. No one looks at each other.

You decide you probably need to be the one to break the silence, since you did just lay a lot on them. But just as you think that-

"[Y/n]..." They both start at the same time, to your surprise, and theirs as well.

"No! No, I should-" You start, not letting either of them finish “I’m sorry... I dident mean to get so intens-“

“It's okay. Seriously. You don't have anything to be sorry about.” Dave cuts you off this time.

“I do thuough…" You say slowly "I shouldn't haave gone out tonight... Or ever… You guys always tayke care of me and..."

"Dude we don't mind doing that stuff, you're our-"

"Morail. I know." You finish for him, almost a bit coldly. There's a tense quiet for a few seconds after this.

"But... Even then is like I purposly go out an.. And get fucked up and jus expect you guysh to take care off me and it's- It's not-"

“We don't care!” Karkat cuts you off this time, very instantly.

“…Wha?”

“We don't care about any of that stuff. We just want you to be happy. Or as close to it as you can be on this planet, I guess. We take care of you because…. We want to.” Karkat puts his hand on yours, but he doesn’t look at all when you turn to him. This hurts a bit, and you wonder why he's avoiding your gaze. Did your confession make him uncomfortable? Dave follows again and does the same with his hand, nodding in agreement, and you actually make eye contact with him when you turn around. Or you assume so, behind the shades.

Then after a few moments the two of them share a look again, but you watch them this time.

“Honestly [Y/n]…" Dave starts, but looks away again. "When we started dating it was because-“

“Wait. You're gonna tell them...?” Karkat interrupts, swinging his head around to stare at Dave, and then trails off like he's going to finish the sentence but assumes it's just implied. When you look at him you notice he's blushing slightly.

“Tell mee... what??” You press.

“Yeah man, I mean, they deserve it. And I'm not sure they'll even remember this really anyways.” Dave replies, adding that last part a little quickly. He seems a nervous as he shifts a bit where he's sitting on the bed.

“Listen.. When we started dating…” Dave starts and looks at you, but he actually can’t bring himself to keep eye contact right now. He lifts his free hand to rub the back of his neck awkwardly as he looks away yet again. “It was like.. a few months into your tour. It was the first time you weren’t living with us and it was so weird… It felt like. I dont know…”

“Basically it felt super incomplete and lonely without you.” Karkat says for him.

“Right… Even though we had each other still. Aaand I think that maybe that made us get closer?? Like trying to fill a void or something.” He continues hesitantly.

“Doesent that jus mean… You guys wouldof never haf told each other if I didn't leave?” You say, now confused. You're not sure if this is supposed to be cheering you up or if they're just confessing here. And honestly you're so exhausted, it's hard to focus on what's being said.

“I dunno. Maybe? But the point is that it happened because we missed you. Not because... You were ‘finally gone’ or something.”

“And it didn’t just happen overnight, either. It was... Actually kind of dragged out and confusing.” Karkat confesses, staring off towards your desk to your right.

“Yeah it was like more than halfway through you being gone. And we were talking about you right before…” He stops himself and clears his throat. "Well... Anyways we um. We never knew you felt that way so this is..." He trails off, failing to find the words and hoping someone might pick it up, but an awkward silence lingers.

You’re trying to wrap your head around their point, but you still don’t really see the difference that much. It doesn’t make you feel much better. Still, you guess it’s a sweet gesture. They're trying to validate your feelings in some weird way. But they've never really been good at verbally expressing these kinds of feelings, so you understand.

Dave clears his throat again. Definitely not awkward the second time. “So anyways I guess... I'm sorry for leaving you out. We knew you'd probably end up feeling like the third wheel, but i didn’t think it'd go like... like this. Shit kinda flew off the handle.” He says, like he's wrapping up something here. Though you're still not sure what.

“Yeah. Same here.” Karkat agrees and doesn't bother to add much more, but you feel him squeeze your hand after a few moments. Too hard for it to have been meant for you. There's something still on his mind.

But, regardless, you nod and agree. This was a lot.

They never really acknowledge your actual confession, but you don’t push about it. You’re too tired anyways. It's been a long fucking night.

You lean over to rest your head on Karkats shoulder, exhausted. He flinches a little at the suddenness of the action, but he doesn’t move after. Dave leans over too so he’s resting his head on your shoulder. Then finally Karkat leans his head back onto yours. You guys stay like that again.

You’re not really thinking about much anymore, having aired all your biggest thoughts/troubles to them. But the two friends beside you are having quite a lot on their minds. Individually, but they might as well be almost the same. If you could look at the three of you from an outsiders view, you’d see their faces look a little troubled, and you just look fucking tired. There’s stuff they’ll have to talk about later. Privately.

For now, though, you should all really get some rest.

Karkat lets out a soft yawn, which makes you and Dave do the same, contagiously.

“Alright. I think we all need some damn beauty sleep after tonight.” Karkat suggests, and you and Dave nod together.

Dave stands up, and holds a hand out to Karkat. He takes it and stands up, and you let yourself fall completely onto the bed at the loss of your troll-pillow. Karkat and Dave watch you for a moment, while you stare down at your white comforter, half-lidded.

Dave holds a hand out to you too. You stare at it for a moment and then look up at him again, puzzled.

“You wanna have a movie night?” He asks. Obviously it wasn’t actually a movie night. He just wanted an excuse to not have to leave you in here alone without having to straight up ask ‘hey, you wanna come sleep with us?'.

You immediately smile so big, beaming, and take his hand, letting him pull you to your feet. You’re quick to balance yourself, and Dave puts a hand around you to help you walk across the hall, while Karkat cleans up your room a bit more.

In the room, the three of you proceed to lay down, putting on some random shitty movie. None of you bother watching, you’re all trying to sleep as soon as it starts playing.

In your drunk, almost sleeping haze, you’re not really thinking when you say your last words of the night before you can drift off. “I love you guys.” And right before your consciousness is pulled out from underneath you, you swear you hear one or both say it back. But maybe it was your imagination.

You all fall asleep before the opening credits even get to finish.

The rest is history.

—————————————————————

Fast forward again back to the present.

Where we left off, you had just stormed off embarrassingly up to your room. You shut the door and take a seat on your desk chair, sighing.

This has just been such a bad streak of events. You want to ask Dave or Karkat what happened, but you don’t have the courage. You don’t even want to look at them now that they saw the video. But what did they know that you didn’t? It’s killing you. Not only that, but you’ll have to figure out what to say publicly. You’re sure people are talking a bunch of shit about you on the internet right now. Ugh.

You loathe the idea of looking at your phone, but you should probably respond to your friends. You don’t want to worry them anymore than you already have. When you type in your password, you can see a couple other of your friends have reached out to you now. And hen when you bring up your tabs to go to your messages, you notice the last tab open was your notes. You’re curious, so you click it, and it opens to a note you were apparently writing last night.

There’s a lot of misspellings, but you can make out most of it. You think it’s… supposed to be lyrics? As you read them and try to imagine what the sound you were going for is, you’re actually impressed! It’s pretty good. You could actually make a song out of this. The whole thing lights a bit of a fire under you suddenly, and you pull your laptop out of your drawer to add onto the idea. The lyrics were vaguely about what you’ve been feeling lately. When did you even get time to write this?

Just as you find yourself ‘in-the-zone’, so to speak, there’s a knock on your door. You groan internally.

“Come in.” You say, against your own will.

Karkat steps in, looking a little awkward, like someone forced him to talk to you. You’re suspicious.

Neither of you speak. You just stare at each other. And if it were a staring contest you would’ve just won, as Karkat starts to look away awkwardly. This is weird.

“[Y/n]… Listen… About last night-” He starts.

“Yknow, I’m really not in the mood to talk about that particular subject right now. If you don’t mind.” You say harshly, turning back to your computer to open one of your editing programs. You know that probably stung. Morails… they’re supposed to feel comfortable opening up to each other without fear of judgement. They’re not supposed to close the other one out. But you suppose you’re not a very good pale companion lately. You’re not really good for any quadrant apparently.

Karkat frowns, moving over to a chair you have sitting near your desk, and taking a seat. He’s in your peripheral vision now, but at least you can tell he’s not staring at you. It’s silent as you keep yourself busy. Why wasn’t he saying anything? Out of curiosity, you sneak a side glance at him. He looks lost in thought, brows furrowed, looking at the carpeted floor. Your heart stirs for a moment, and you give in on this stupid silent treatment thing you have going.

You sigh, loudly. “Okay. Fine. What’d you wanna say?”

“Okay, I know you don’t want to talk about it-” He starts again, not missing a beat after your permission.

“Yeah, so much for that.” You mutter.

“-But I'm not gonna start grilling you or getting on your case or whatever. I just wanted to check on you. You know, because we’re friends? And this seems like it’s bothering you so-”

“OF COURSE ITS BOTHERING ME, KAR!!” You shout suddenly, making him jump a little. Woah, not even you realized you were bottling that up. “I-…Sorry. That was a lot.”

You take a second to breathe, calming yourself. When you open your eyes again to look at Karkat, he has a familiar patient expression, willing to let you get ahold of yourself. You know he understands, and is letting you do what you need before saying anything.

“I mean it’s just…" You struggle for a moment to find the words. "I just can’t remember anything about last night, like at all! And then I see me being a total douche to that guy, who was really nice last I remember! And the waiter. Now of course everyone on the damn planet knows about it, and probably thinks I’m a fuckin’ alcoholic!” You exclaim, letting out your built up concerns. Karkat's nodding, listening to your rant openly.

“I’m gonna have to make a public statement, and call all my friends to have really awkward conversations assuring them that I’m fine, and deal with the fact that probably no one’s even going to want to go near me in a romantic way again ever. And… and…” You continue until you trail off and look over at him, dread in your eyes. You won’t finish the rest of that sentence. You just hope to god you didn’t say anything bad last night to them. Especially them.

As you two hold eye contact for a moment, you feel how he's pitying you, and you hate the feeling. Suddenly you hate it.

“Do you really not remember anything from last night?” Karkat speaks finally, carefully.

“Not a thing.” You say and lean back in your chair, looking down at your hands in your lap.

“Well... I’d say that’s probably a good thing then.” He says simply, and you pause before you react, expecting there to be more. But nothing else comes.

“Why the hell would that be a good thing??” You eventually ask in bewilderment, swinging your head back over to stare at him again.

Then it hits you. Oh, god.

Your face goes from angry, to terrified in a matter of seconds.

“What? Whats wrong???” Karkats says in response, confused by your reaction.

“Karkat…” You say slowly, not removing eye contact. You move closer to him in your computer chair, until your knees are a few inches from his. “I need to ask you something. Tell me the truth… Please.”

“Uh… sure? Okay.” He agrees slowly.

“Did I… say anything weird? To you and Dave, last night?” Your question comes out nervously, and you have to look to the side a few times.

Karkat opens his mouth to answer, then stops. He looks like he’s trying to think of how to answer correctly. The hesitation makes you a million times more nervous now.

“Karkat!” Your voice snaps him out of his thought process. He looks a little nervous, and you’d almost feel bad for him, if you weren’t the one who’s dignity was on the line right now! “Please. Please tell me.”

He sighs, seeming to let all of the useless pent-up worry about something go. “Okay… I wouldn’t really say it was 'weird'. But you definitely… said things to us. The restaurant wasn’t your last breakdown, I guess.” He admits, looking away at first, but slowly moving to meet your gaze with a wincing face. As if you're going to explode immediately after hearing this.

Great.

You slump all the way back in the chair again, leaning your head back. Your face looks as pained as you feel to be learning this information right now.

"Sorry to have to tell you, I know you really don't want to fuckin' hear it. And also I know it sounds bad, but it really wasn't. I mean, everything is fine. With us, I mean." He adds on, correcting himself at the end there before you have time to bud in and inform him that everything is in-fact the opposite of fine for you right now. That's a little reassuring to hear, at least, but you're still dying inside at the thought of it.

A moment passes and you feel his hand very lightly take yours, like he's testing the waters at first. When you don't react at all, he takes it in his fully and caresses your thumb as silent comfort. You hate to admit it does make you feel a little better, but not much.

“What’d I say?” You ask finally, in a way that makes it sound like you really didn’t want him to answer. You think maybe he picked up on it, because it’s silent for quite a while. “Karkat, just put me out of my misery already.”

“Alright. Alright... But you’re the one who asked, so don’t get pissed at me.“He warns you and takes a a deep breath.”Last night we were all talking, and you said-“

The sound of your bedroom door clicking open interrupts him.

“Yo. What we talking about in here?” Dave cuts in suddenly, striding into the room at perfect timing.

You look over at Dave as he walks in confidently, hands in his pockets. You’re looking very not-amused at him.

“Well damn son. Am I interrupting?” He asks, catching the attitude.

“No, let’s just make it an intervention!“ You say, words drenched in sarcasm as you roll your eyes.

“Oh hell yeah.” He says and easily takes a seat on your bed, leaning forward with his arms resting on his knees. Your eyes follow him as he does so.

"You want me to give a speech bout how worried I am about you? I can cry on command too. Make it two times more emotional.” He offers jokingly as he gazes back at you.

Sighing, you turn back to Karkat. “I’m not really in the mood for this. Kar, can you just tell me whatever embarrassing shit I said to you guys last night and get it over with?”

“I was fucking TRYING to-“ He starts.

“Oh, uh. Yeah I can tell you.” Dave claims suddenly, cutting him off again.

“What??” Karkat blurts out, at a loss at this. They stare at each other for a second. You’re only looking at Karkat, so you just see his expression relax after a beat of confusion. Then he nods.

“Oh. Okay. Yeah, knock yourself out.” He agrees, suspiciously compliant. But you're too exhausted with this to really think about it that much.

You lazily turn over your head to look at Dave. You honestly don’t care who tells you, kinda done with having this dragged out this long already. “Cool. Great. Dave, what’d I say?”

“Right. So. You told us about the date. And I guess the guy was cool, but then he started talking shit about me and Karkat? Just straight up dissing us or whatever. You said he was jealous that you spend all your time around your two awesome best friends. (Us). Anddd at that point you must've been pretty wasted. Or more drunk than maybe you should have been. So you freaked out in our defense? Which, I mean I'm flattered. But I think the wine in the face was maybe a little-“

“Wait wait..." You cut his rambling short, waving your hand and sitting up slightly. "That’s it?”

“Huh?” Is all he can manage after getting thrown off his course.

“That’s… all I freaked out about? That he insulted you guys?” You ask.

“Yeah. And also I guess because he accused you of having a thing for us.” Dave says, adding that second part on a little quick.

You wince and your heart seems to stop for a moment. You move your head just slightly to be staring up at the ceiling and think about this for a second. “… Oh.”

Dave and Karkat stare at each other.

"Karkat said I had like a second breakdown with you two though. What was that about?" You ask further, but don't bother looking back at him again.

"Oh, that. Uh..." You listen to him start and then trail off for a few moments before continuing. "I mean you said a lot of incoherent stuff, you were fucking slammed. But, I got kinda pissed because you walked home alone without contacting us at all like a dumbass. No offense sober [Y/n]. And then after we got you settled we asked what happened, you told us, and then you... You just were freaking out and babbling a bunch of stuff about that dude and how he was wrong and... We tried to calm you down, but a lot of it was just kind of nonsense. It wasn't anything with any real substance. I think."

You take just a moment to think about this. You guess that makes sense. You don't think you've ever been that intoxicated, and someone that far-gone probably wouldn't be making much sense at all. You must've just thrown some weird fit and been probably very annoying to deal with. Your stomach churns with embarrassment. Of course, he could be fudging the truth, telling you what you want to hear. But you don't entertain that thought for more than even a second because, no. Just no. You don't want to think about this anymore, and you don't want to keep questioning your friends.

“So… that’s all?” You say finally, not investigating the subject further to your Dave's relief.

There’s another quick silence, but Dave cuts it off before it can get too hesitant. “Yep.”

“Oh. Well that’s not so bad… I mean, still embarrassing, but… better than I thought.” You comment.

Dave watches your expression carefully. “What did you think you said?”

Of course, he knows what you thought you said. They both do. Because you did say it. But Dave figured that maybe things would be better if you didn’t know about it. If anything, you should get the dignity of getting to confess sober. Knowing you, if you found out that you said you loved them while blackout drunk, you’d probably feel super embarrassed and awkward around them all the time. And… they still hadn’t talked about how they feel about it. If anything, this morning has made things more awkward between the two that were actually dating. Before coming up stairs, they were basically avoiding the topic, and decided to just check on you instead.

“Uh…” You continue to stare at your ceiling, and you play with your hands. You try to think of how you should respond for a moment. “I don’t know… you can say a lot of crazy things when you’re drunk. Even if I had said something weird, it could’ve been totally untrue or random. But I still wanted to know.” You force a laugh a little.

Now Dave’s wondering if he had told you, if you would’ve played it off as untrue or owned up to it.

Karkat on the other hand is still confused (and a little pissed) as to why Dave is even lying to you right now. If you had bothered to look over, you'd catch the look he's giving Dave as if he's trying to turn him to damn stone. He thought you did deserve to know, since he would most definitely want to be told if he said some embarrassing shit if he was in your situation. But he doesn’t dare say anything, since you already seemed to feel better about the situation.

…

Actually… fuck that, he thinks.

“[Y/n]. That’s not the only thing you said.” He says suddenly and your body goes still and cold. You look over at him, confused.

“You also…” Karkat slows his sentence as Dave starts to shake his head at him from behind you, signaling to stop with his hands. He seems to consider it for a second, and then rolls his eyes, annoyed. “You said that you were upset about us spending less time with you. And something about being the 'third wheel' or whatever. You… said you felt left out.“ He finishes slowly, kind of feeling a bit guilty at the sentence.

Not the whole truth, but still enough to make Karkat feel better about the situation. If you were to read into it, you could probably assume other things you might’ve said that no one wants to mention. However, you have no desire to do that, so you take his word for it, pushing down your doubts.

"Oh..” You say again. “Okay.”

“Okay?” They both say in unison, again

“(Man we gotta stop doing that.)” Dave whispers.

“Yeah! I mean… It’s true. I have felt pretty left out and kinda lonely lately. Probably why I go out with so many people.” You smile slightly, looking down at your lap again. “You guys are just… so cute… together! So… I don’t know. I don’t want to bother you guys to spend time with me. I try to give you your space.”

“Dude if we didn’t like spending time with you, we all wouldn't all be stuffed in this house together. We don't need you to be gone every other night just to give us some space.” Dave reassures you.

“I’m pretty sure it’s more than that, dave.” Karkat interjects. You both look over at him curiously. “It's not that they're going out to give us space. They’re saying they don’t like feeling alone when they’re trying to give us space. So they’re trying to distract themselves while looking for their own matesprit.”

He stops for a second to make eye contact with you, giving you a kind of sympathetic expression. "[Y/n], you've just been feeling lonely, right? Like you have to stay on the sidelines or something." Even though it was a question, he continues, guiltily shifting his gaze to the floor in between his feet. "And I'm sorry. I know we're both your moirails technically, but I'm the only actual troll here, I shouldn't make mistakes like that. You shouldn't have had to feel that way this whole time. I was an idiot for that."

Your heart tugs and you get the immediate urge to lunge at him and hold him the second you watch his ears droop and hear the guilty tone in his voice. You definitely don't want him feeling like this is his fault at all.

"Karkat..." You start, moving to him and placing a gentle hand on his knee. He looks at your hand, and then up at you with just about the cutest face you think you've ever seen. It's literally just his face. But his sad-puppy expression, the ears, the close proximity. You find yourself examining his features in a familiar way from the last night that you can't remember. You feel your face heating up, and immediately remind yourself of what you were just about to say.

"You're not at fault for this. Neither of you are it's..." You trail off for a moment. Is Karkat blushing at you right now? He never does that, or not like this at least. This feels dif- Nope, shaking that off. Not thinking about that. You turn your chair to be facing both of them again. Dave is leaning back now slightly with his arms rested behind him, staring at you two with his head leaning down on his shoulder.

"I want to say it's my fault, but... This is just how it is, right? I mean our whole dynamic was bound to get fucked up when you guys started dating. We never even talked about how this screwed our whole moirail quadrant deal." You say, addressing the situation as a whole instead of comforting Karkat like you wanted to. Normally it's not a problem, but it gets so awkward like that now when your try. This is exactly what you're talking about.

"Yeah well, wasn't our quadrant thing kinda fucked from the start? I don't think it usually works like that for trolls, right?" Dave comments, turning to Karkat at that last part who nods.

"Yeah we made a lot of exceptions and our own rules basically. This definitely wouldn't be an issue on Alternia." Karkat agrees. "But, you're right. We really should have talked this shit out. I can't be upset with the way you reacted or how this ended up. I get it."

You sigh, leaning back in your chair a bit like a deflating ballon. "So, what now?" You ask quietly.

Dave sits up completely, taking in a deep breath. "Okay. Well. We can talk about all the quadrant stuff and get that figured out later today. Or this week. However long we need." He starts and you nod. "But for now I just want to make sure you're good... You good?"

You smile, breathing out your nose in a fond gesture. "Yeah, I'm good. We'll figure this out, right? " You say and look to Karkat as well, who nods back at you, if not somewhat sadly. He must still feel guilty.

"Right. And earlier I was just saying, you don't have to worry that much about giving us space. We probably need it sometimes, but if you're feeling lonely you can always come chill with us. I mean we'll figure this all out later, I said that already but. We care about you, man. Like, a stupid amount. Y'know Karkat almost went into cardiac arrest from worry waiting for you last night?"

"I DID NOT!! AND YOU WERE WORRIED TOO NOOKWAD!" He shouts back indignantly. Dave holds up his hands in defense and you laugh.

"I know, I know. And I'm sorry for worrying you guys, by the way." You say before Dave can whip out some witty response to what Karkat said because you know he was about to.

"It's cool. But... Maybe chill with the alcohol? Shits starting to fuck you up and it's painful to watch. Reminds me of Rose for that short time on the meteor, but like, now add way more dangerous possible scenarios because we're not forced in one building together with a population of like ten teenagers anymore."

You feel your face heat up again thinking about it. Yeah, it has been kind of shameful. It started off as just innocent fun, but it's gotten pretty out of hand. You nod slowly. “Right. Yeah, I’m definitely quitting that shit today.”

“Also. Maybe take a break from searching for a matesprite?? You can definitely find someone worthy of that quadrant without literally hunting them down. That shit never works.” Karkat adds.

You laugh a little, nodding again. “Yeah. That too. I probably need a break after this anyways.”

The atmosphere of the room seems to calm now, leaving you all pretty chill. You still have a lot to figure out and discuss, but this is a good start. It feels nice to have even a little bit of what you've been agonizing about off your shoulders.

“Damn this really did turn into an intervention.” Dave says, leaning back on his hands again. You laugh in response.

“I vote we have one for you next. I’ll start planning the 'Asshole video game addict' intervention now .“ Karkat says, gesturing to Dave.

Dave cracks a smile and you join in. "I’m down! Let’s invite more people though. Make it a party.” You add on.

“Oh please. You know that’d just encourage him. He’d start challenging everyone that walks through the fucking door.”

"Okay, actually, scratch the intervention. Let's just hold a smash-off in the living room!" Dave says, actually sounding excited about this.

"Don't say it like that." Karkat groans.

"Seriously?" You muse to him, pretty entertained at the idea.

"Shit, yeah. That'd give us an excuse to catch up with friends and shit. After we figure all this shit out I mean."

"How did we get here???" Karkat interjects, bewildered at how his boyfriend is now serious about this party.

All three of you chuckling now, start to banter back and forth. After a while of goofing around, it feels like the awkward air that’d been lingering for a while finally lifts completely. Everything’s back to normal.

Well, for the most part.

You get up as Dave and Karkat are going back and forth with each other now about something so off-topic to what you were just discussing. You throw yourself onto the bed next to Dave, landing face first into the covers.

"Good?" Dave asks from next to you and you nod into the bedding. You then roll onto your back to look up at him again.

"I guess now I just have to make a public statement. And maybe call a few people.” You say, though you don't seems quite as bothered about it anymore.

“You don't have to do anything. Didn't you say yesterday you don't owe anyone any explanations?” Daves asks in more of a teasing sense.

“Yes, but I get the feeling I’ll have a lot less fans by the time my album comes out if I don’t say something. And I’m not gonna make poor Kanaya and the others worry about me.” You answer.

“So you're gonna start working on that album now?” He asks and you nod with a smile.

“Yeah! It’ll be a good distraction, I guess. I’ve been procrastinating big time.” You look over at Dave, and your eyes light up a little. “And yknoooow, I could still be open for some features! With maybe a rapper? Someone who writes their own raps all the time, but refuses to ever release them officially? Hmm???”

“Hey, that sounds so awesome. Tell me if you find someone like that.” He says back flatly, staring at you with a now blank expression. Damnit.

“C'monnnn. Dave a song with you and me would fucking bang!” You plead.

“Nah. You know having my shit professionally produced is not my jam.” He responds.

“Yes, we’ve discussed that and I know Rose already psychoanalyzed you as to why. But I’m still gonna get you in on it. One of these days.” You say and narrow your eyes at him

“Good luck with that.” He replies.

“Dave, you’re gonna have to stop being a self-conscious wriggler about it one day. You know you want to do it.” Karkat accuses him from where he still is on the chair next to your desk.

“Dude! I'm not self-conscious, I just-” He starts, but both you and Karkat stare at him knowingly, clearly not believing a thing he’s about to say. He frowns at this and then seems to consider something for a moment.

“… You know what. Fuck it. If it'll get you two to stop calling me a baby and shit about it then. What the hell. I'll do the damn thing.” He concludes, finally giving in. You stare at him in disbelief and then absolutely beam, lifting yourself up off the bed. Karkat smiles slightly, admiring the both of you.

"Really?!" You ask excitedly.

“Yeah... what could go wrong? Right?” He says and definitely doesn’t sound very convinced as he tries to justify the decision, but you know it'll be fine. You’ll help him and it’ll be so fun. You just know it.

You throw yourself at him, pulling him into a hug. He almost falls backwards at the impact.

“Thank you!! Oh my god this is gonna be so good. I can’t wait.” You say while still holding him tight. He smiles, going to hug you back, despite his indifferent feelings about what he just agreed to.

“Karkat get over here!” You shout, looking back at him.

“Why? Im not involved in this.” He says, crossing his arms.

“Like fuck you’re not! You can uh.. Hey! Your boyfriend's gonna need a manager, right?” You muse and grin at him.

“Fuck no.” He spats immediately.

“C'mon dude. Be my manager.” Dave chimes in, grinning too now.

“I'D RATHER DIE!!” He shouts.

“OH JUST COME HUG US!!” You shout back.

He rolls his eyes, but eventually complies. He joins the two of you in your agreement-hug. So sweet.

And thus, the curtain closes, bringing Chapter 1 to an END.

Kidding, there’s no curtain. This is the end of Chapter 1 though.

See ya.

[CH 2] ==>

#homestuck #homestuck fanfic #more than pale #dave strider x reader #karkat vantas x reader #karkat x reader #dave x reader #hs #homestuck 2 #dave x karkat #karkat x dave x reader #dave strider #karkat vantas #fanfiction #dave x karkat x reader #davekat #davekat x reader #damn can i chill with the tags

127 notes · View notes