#Panic Attack

[kybercrystals94]

Again 

Read here on Ao3!

Angstpril 2024 | Day 27 | Prompt 27: Panicked 

Bad Things Happen Bingo Prompt: Paralyzed by Fear 

Rated: G | Words: 446 | Summary: Crosshair struggles as they approach the facility on Tantiss. | Character Focus: Crosshair, Hunter, Wrecker

“...with me, Cross, breathe with me,” Hunter’s voice is saying. 

“I can’t, I can’t,” Crosshair chokes out, “I can’t go back, Hunter, please…” 

Hunter pulls back a moment and takes off his helmet, allowing Crosshair to see his face. “Listen to me,” he says, reaching out and catching Crosshair’s trembling hand. He holds it tight, and it hurts, the way Crosshair’s knuckles grind together in Hunter’s grip. “I’m not going to let them take you. You will not be their prisoner again.”  

“You don’t know that,” Crosshair whispers, “You can’t promise that. We promised Omega…” 

“I know,” Hunter breathes. He leans forward, presses his forehead against Crosshair’s. “I know. But I will give my life before I let them take any of you again. That I can promise you.” 

Crosshair doesn’t like that promise. He doesn’t want that promise. “Don’t say that,” he growls, though the quaking panic rattling his lungs makes it come out like a broken sob. Maybe it is. 

But Hunter doesn’t retract the promise as he pulls away, still gripping Crosshair’s hand. 

“Sarge,” Wrecker says, standing over them, watching for patrols while Crosshair falls apart. “We gotta…” he doesn’t finish the sentence, doesn’t need to. 

We gotta go. We gotta go into the facility. We gotta find our sister. We gotta…we gotta…gotta…gotta…

Crosshair hates the whining sound he makes as another wave of panic crashes over him. I can’t. I can’t do this. Please, please don’t make me do this. Hunter…please…

Crosshair realizes he’s been verbalizing the thoughts of his tortured mind, letting them escape his lips like blood from a seeping wound, when Hunter replies to the spiral of anxiety. 

“Our chances are better together, Crosshair,” Hunter says, gentle firmness and calm. “We need you. Omega needs you.” And Hunter continues to exaggerate steady breaths, wordlessly inviting Crosshair to follow the pattern. He tries, pulling quavering breaths and shuddering exhales. Weak, weak, weak, weak…

“Cross,” Wrecker says, “You know we got your back, right?”

Crosshair manages to lift his head, look up into the familiar, expressionless visor of his biggest brother. He can’t trust his voice, so he simply nods, short and tight. 

Wrecker tips his head. “You can trust us,” he offers, and then adds, carefully, “and we trust you. You got our backs too, yeah?” 

Crosshair’s throat constricts, but this time it isn’t the panic or anxiety that makes it hard to breathe. He forces another steady breath. And another. And another. 

They trust him. They’re counting on him. His brothers. His sister. 

“Yeah,” he finally answers when he can trust his voice not to fracture on the syllable. 

He has to do this. 

END

@the-little-moment, @just-here-with-my-thoughts...*squints* I can see the finish line! We're so close!!

✨Let me know if you'd like to be added to my tag list!✨

Tag List: @followthepurrgil @isthereanechoinhere96 @amorfista @mooncommlink @arctrooper69 @nagyanna424 @proteatook @ezras-left-thumb @merkitty49 @maeashryver

#Angstpril2024 #Day 27 #Prompt 27 #Panicked #Bad Things Happen Bingo #Paralyzed by Fear #the bad batch #star wars #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #tbb hunter #tbb crosshair #tbb wrecker #the bad batch season 3 #Star Wars the Bad Batch season 3 #Angst #Panic Attack #Anxiety Attack #Crosshair needs a hug #Soft Hunter #Soft Wrecker #Brothers #rebuilding trust #littlekyberthoughts #fics by kyber

[keepchangingandneverstop]

Day 29 - Psychosomatic Bullshit

#panic attack #turn slow tigers into fast tigers with one fucked up trick #i saw immediate results but i did have to repeat it three times to fully stop shaking

[unboundprompts]

If you’re still doing request, is it OK if you either

Describe writing a panic attack?

Or

Describe someone who has gray eyes?

-> a link for gray eye descriptions: x

How to Write a Panic Attack

Physical Symptoms of a Panic Attack:

pounding or racing heart

sweating

chills

trembling

difficulty breathing

weakness or dizziness

tingly or numb hands

chest pain

stomach pain or nausea

feeling lightheaded

tense muscles

dry mouth

constriction in the chest

feeling like they're being choked

Other Symptoms:

heightened vigilance for danger and physical symptoms

anxious and irrational thinking

a strong feeling of dread, danger or foreboding

fear of going mad, losing control, or dying

feelings of unreality and detachment from the environment

Triggers for a Panic Attack:

something unexpected (ex: a phone call)

a reminder (objects, smells, locations, specific phrases, etc. that can be tied back to a traumatic experience)

stress (from work, a relationship, family, etc. that has been building up)

silence (ex: being alone in a quiet room. The silence can amplify a sense of isolation)

flashbacks (a trigger that causes the person to flash back to a traumatic memory)

out of nowhere (sometimes panic attacks just get triggered by seemingly nothing)

Writing Prompts:

-> feel free to edit and adjust pronouns as you see fit.

He couldn't breathe. Oh God, he couldn't breathe and he was going to die.

She knew the panic was building up, but it crashed over her like a tsunami that swept her off her feet. The pull threatened to pull her out to sea and it was all-consuming.

They felt the panic begin to wrap its arms around them like a shadow.

"Is it okay if I hold your hand?"

"Don't touch me-- don't touch me!"

Her mind was running at a million miles a second but she couldn't pinpoint a single thought.

"It's okay. You're safe."

An icy hand had reached through their ribcage and was squeezing their heart. They couldn't breathe and they didn't know what to do to regain their breath.

"My chest hurts. It hurts."

"I can't!"

They were a crumpled heap, stowed away in the corner as tears streamed down their face.

She felt like she was on a boat out at sea, the room swaying and adding to the nausea that was washing over her.

He felt like he was having a heart attack.

They gasped for air but each breath felt shallower than the last.

She could hear her heart pounding in her ears, beating like a panicked drum to the rhythm of her fear.

He felt like he was standing on the edge of a building.

They couldn't move. It was like someone was holding down their limbs, the panic rendering them utterly frozen.

If you like what I do and want to support me, please consider donating! I also offer editing services and other writing advice on my Ko-fi!

#writing prompts #dialogue prompt #ask box prompts #tw panic attack #prompt list #prompts #how to write a panic attack #panic attack #writing panic attacks #hurt/comfort prompts #whump prompts #whump prompt #whump writing

[maybmila]

A while later...

Prev / Next

#cult of the lamb #cotl #cotl fanart #cotl lamb #cotl narinder #narilamb #narinder x lamb #cult of the lamb narinder #eyestrain #panic attack #sorta #nari freaks the f out when lambert freaks out #naris danger senses go off constantly if lamb is in distress #what a loser #comic

[starrforge]

I call it…the duality of halsin 👀❤️

#my art #halsin #bg3 halsin #halsin x tav #panic attack #soft beefy man cares for smol stronk love #baldur's gate 3

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Sigmund Freud was giving me therapy because he wanted to study my transgenderism. I was so distraught I began to have a panic attack at the thought of being his guinea pig. As I devolved into hysteria, he turned me and asked, 'How is your relationship with your mother?' and it shocked me into consciousness.

#dream #sigmund freud #therapy #trans #transgender #studying #panic #panic attack #guinea pig

[sarathrwizard]

Out of the blue...

well that just happened.

Does Leo have triggers now?

Next

#angst #comic #donnie #leo #fanfiction #rottmnt #saverottmnt #riseofthetmnt #post movie #triggers #trauma #rottmnt movie #accident #spoilers #dark #angry #disaster twins #worried #scared #panic attack

[gleafer]

I’d call you daddy.

Have some fluffiness!

#illustrator #illustration #digital artist #crowley #good omens #good omens art #artist on tumblr #good omens aziraphale #aziraphale #good omens crowley #ineffable #ineffable husbands #dadbod #panic attack #gleafer art #gleafer #gaimanverse #comic artist

[goldenjuniper]

hold on to each other

#tw panic attack #panic attack #caption is a reference to a f+tm song #june art #dca #moondrop #fnaf dca #dca fnaf #fnaf moon #moon fnaf #fnaf #moon fnaf sb #fnaf sb moon #fnaf sb #described #id in alt #tw panic attacks #panic attacks

[ayyy-imma-ninja]

oh. oH. OHHH !!!!! reference to that old post in which you said sun picks apart cotton balls when hes stressed so he doesnt mess up his rays ??? very nice. we love slowly tying in more lore. i am in love w your comic rn megmeg. seriously. you are incredible :D

good callback ;)

#answered ask #fairy au #dca fairy au #sundrop fairy #gardener y/n #the gardener #angst #fnaf sun #fnaf sundrop #sundrop #fnaf dca #fnaf daycare au #fnaf dca au #dca fairy au comic #panic attack #tw panic attack #hurt/comfort #gave him a runny nose #cuz crying can be messy #cotton

[mischefous]

*cough cough* possibly… Legend whump? Him having a panic attack?

*sneezes*

*looks down at my screen*

-oh hey!...oh dear...someone better get Legend a blankie and some warm milk🥹

#im a sucker for Legend whump. whether it be art or fics #ill take it #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu #my art #lu legend #panic attack #angst #lu whump #cw whump #whump art #whump #art requests #thank you anon! #hero of legend #digital art

[charliemwrites]

Mean Simon Part 4

CW: non-descriptive panic attack, followed by comfort and gaslighting; please be safe and careful 💕

Simon’s got a bit of a puzzle on his hands. More accurately, you’re a puzzle that’s not in his hands. And getting you there, of your own free will, is only part of it.

Sure, he could just grab you or order you. You would be helpless to his will either way. It would be simple and easy, but it wouldn’t be satisfying. Not as much as coaxing you into the trap by your own volition, anyway.

Once you were just a shy thing, now you’re downright skittish. Quick to bend the knee and bow your head, but you don’t relish in doing so. Johnny has been nothing but adoring and sweet to you, yet Simon notices you still resist flinching and tensing on contact. Never mind if Simon himself were to attempt the same, you’d work yourself into hysteria over a pat to the shoulder. Seducing you would be its own challenge - but that leaves the contradictory matter of training you.

You would be so good. He knows it.

You’re quick to learn, eager to please. But it comes from a place of fear and distrust. The former has its place, the latter its natural offspring - but neither suits Simon’s purpose in this instance. Punishment and discipline would only serve to reinforce the trenches in your mind. To stay quiet and unseen, to avoid Simon at all costs and tolerate Johnny out of self-preservation. That neither of them can be trusted, are not objects for your affection or desire. Only a facsimile with a pretty face, that makes pretty noises, and soothes Johnny with pretty touches. Nothing real; nothing either of them can actually sink their teeth into.

And so there lies the puzzle. He needs (wants) to train you into the sweet doll he knows you can be, but he has to do it in a way fundamentally different to his instinct - or he risks breaking you entirely.

Luckily, he’s a patient man. Your behavior has been acceptable so far with the barest monitoring. He has time to develop a strategy.

“Um… excuse me, Mister?” you soft voice calls.

He grunts, turning his eyes to you. You shift, fingers twisting together tightly.

“I can’t, um… so there’s a light out? In the kitchen?”

He tilts his head, waiting for you to continue.

“And I don’t know where the bulbs are,” you finish.

He tilts his head. “You didn’t go looking?”

You shake out your hands a bit, shifting. “I didn’t know if I, um, if I should? Snooping, and all…”

Simon tries to recall if he’s ever implied that you shouldn’t go through the house. He knows he explicitly warned you not to go in his bedroom and the garage. But you’ve inferred it somehow, likely from those first few months after he got you for Johnny - when he would have had some objection to you treating the house as if it were your own.

You’re well past that by now, though. Spend more time here than either of them, cleaning and cooking and sleeping. In fact, he’s surprised you haven’t stumbled across the bulbs sooner.

“Hall closet by my room.”

You hesitate for another moment. “And is there, um… a step stool anywhere…?”

He blinks. “No.”

“Oh. Uhh…” you jolt a bit. “Oh! I’ll just use a dining chair. Thank you! Um, sir.”

You dart away before he can reply. That’s going to be the first bad habit he breaks, he decides.

For lack of sating himself with you, Johnny’s been especially needy. Simon accounted for this, of course, and despite it being a punishment, he’s not so cruel as to leave Johnny hanging. It’s meant to be a learning experience too.

So Johnny is still allowed to cuddle with you (to some extent) and exchange kisses (in moderation) while Simon takes the edge off the ever-burning inferno that is his libido. Sniper he may be, Simon might have miscalculated regardless. He’s already touched-out for the day.

You’re in the kitchen, prepping for a nicer dinner at Simon’s request before their next deployment. It’ll take a couple hours to cook, so you’re assembling everything early. Or at least trying to - because Johnny will not leave you the fuck alone.

He’s underfoot, making a nuisance of himself. Kissing at your neck and face, wrapping himself around you while you bustle about, stealing ingredients off of cutting boards, talking in your ear nonstop. Most days you wouldn’t mind - or would appear that way, at least. But today is not most days.

Simon is sitting on a stool on the other side of the counter when you reach capacity.

With Johnny still plastered to your back, you try to reach for something (for the umpteenth time) and trip over his feet. You knock over an open carton of stock, splattering translucent brown all over the floors, counters, cabinets, and yourselves.

“Fuck,” you cry, “Johnny.”

Your voice breaks on his name. Johnny freezes. Simon can see fault lines in every inch of your stiff body. How carefully you manage each movement as you disentangle yourself from Johnny and usher him away from the worst of the mess. You’re about to fall apart.

“Och, I’m sorry, hen. Lemme help—“

“It’s alright,” you interrupt, chin low as you pivot, snagging the paper towels off the counter. “I’ve got it. Just… stay there.”

Johnny opens his mouth to protest, about to help anyway, but Simon tuts in disapproval.

The kitchen is smothered in an awful silence as you clean, Johnny growing more shame-faced with each rip of the towel roll.

Unobstructed, you manage to clean up in only a couple of minutes, making an extra pass with a damp towel to wipe up any residue. When you’re finished, you wet another and offer it to Johnny to wipe off. Then do the same for yourself. Always, you keep your face obscured or hidden, body oriented away, tight and rigid.

When you spin to gather up the dirty towels, Simon sees how your eyes glimmer. You remember he’s there too at the same time.

“Sir, I’m so sorry. I d-don’t, um…” you have to take a breath to gather your voice. “There’s not enough for dinner now.”

Simon considers that for a beat.

“Johnny’ll run out ‘n get more.”

You swallow thickly. “Okay. I’m sorry, sir.”

“‘S not your fault. Kitchen only needed one cook, yeah?”

You make a noise that, if he was hard of hearing and listening through earmuffs, could almost be agreement.

“I-I’m gonna go wash off…” you rub your hands together nervously. “If that’s alright.”

“G’on.”

You’re gone in an instant. Simon can already hear you sniffling. He stands.

Johnny turns huge, pathetic eyes on him.

“‘M sorry, Si. Really, I didn’t mean to—“

“But you did,” Simon interrupts sharply. “Because you were being a rude little shit and playing too rough.”

Johnny gulps, looks a bit misty-eyed himself. Simon sighs and scrubs an exasperated hand through his mohawk.

“Go get the stock,” he orders, milder. “And an extra treat for the sweetie. Something actually for her. Understood?”

Johnny always does better with clear instructions. He perks up at being given a mission - and an avenue for making things up to you. He hurries off with a pep in his step.

Simon waits until the door is shut before seeking you out. You’re in the bathroom, as you said you would be. He can hear you muffling cries behind the door.

He taps his knuckles twice against the wood. It goes dead silent.

“Jus’ me,” he calls.

There’s a quick splash of water, the flutter of fabric, and then you crack the door open. Your face is cry-flushed, eyes red-rimmed and still glossy. You can’t look past his chest, mouth curved down.

“I-I’m really sorry about the-the mess, and dinner, and…”

“Stop apologizing,” he says, gentling his voice to take the edge off the command. “If there was something to be sorry for, you’d know.”

You swipe quickly at a tear that squeezes out. He tsks softly.

“Bit strung out today, eh?”

“Just… didn’t sleep well, is all,” you answer. “And I didn’t get a chance to nap.”

Right, he’s noted that, in the back of his mind. That you spend small portions of the day sleeping. Usually an hour or two at a time. But Johnny’s been so high maintenance today that you’ve hardly had a moment of peace.

“Cranky? Is that it?” he asks.

You look more miserable. “Just tired,” you answer.

He hums. Willing to bet it’s more than just a bad night of sleep. Poor thing.

“Sor - I mean… I know I’m not supposed to…” you rub at your eyes, drooping.

He tilts his head. “Not s’posed to what?”

“Cry or-or be annoying or…”

He coos. “You’ve got all these rules for yourself, don’t you?”

You sniffle again, hugging yourself tightly as you shrug.

The hunter in Simon perks. There.

“Look’it.” He takes your chin between thumb and forefinger, guiding your gaze up to his.

You blink slowly, heavily, wet lashes sticking together.

“What sort of terrible world have you built up in your mind, hm?” he soothes. “Never told you not to do any of that, did I?”

You blink, confused and upset.

“N-no, I guess… not.”

“No,” he confirms. “You’re spun up so tight you’re starting to fray, little one.”

You shudder, swaying into him a bit. He used the movement to slide his hand to your jaw, massaging his thumb into the tight muscle by your ear.

“From now on, you only follow the rules I give you, yeah?” he says, low and quiet. “Dunno why you think I’m so mean. I won’t punish you if you don’t know better.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, as if trying to resist the hypnotic lull of letting someone else think for you. But you still lean into his palm.

“How’s this,” he offers, “if you’re ever unsure, you ask me. Wont get mad at you for asking. Yeah?”

And finally, that wire twisted up between your shoulder blades loosens.

“Yes, sir.”

Johnny comes home with a chocolate cupcake. Simon approves it before sending him to you, decompressing on the couch with a cuppa.

You blink as Johnny drops heavily to his knees, placing the packaged cupcake in your hand.

“Lass, I’m sorry for bein’ so rough,” he begins, bowing his forehead to your knees. “Dinnae mean to, but I still upset ye, interrupted dinner when ye were workin’ so hard.” He tilts his face up, hitting you with the full force of his apologetic blue eyes. “Forgive me?”

You mouth parts, genuine shock washing over your features. “Y-yeah, Johnny, of course. I know you didn’t mean to. I was just having a bad day.”

But that doesn’t mollify him.

“I couldnae tell. You were just… goin’ on as usual.”

“I know. It’s okay.”

You set your tea aside to place your hand over his, trying to reassure him. But Simon knows his pup and you’ve just unwittingly put a thorn in his paw.

“I’ll get back to dinner now.” You lean in, drop a kiss to Johnny’s furrowed brow. “Thank you for apologizing. And the cupcake.”

Johnny stands with you. “At least let me help proper this time?”

You smile, though it’s tinged with exhaustion. “Sure. C’mon.”

Simon takes his place at the counter again and keeps a careful eye on you both. Things are a lot smoother this time round. Johnny follows your quiet instructions, happy to be useful. You seem to settle with dinner plans back on track.

Once everything is set to slow cook, Simon herds you and Johnny back to the den.

“Pick a movie, lamb.”

You blink from the corner of the couch you’ve curled up in. “Me?”

“You.”

You seem so surprised that you just blurt out a title. Simon hums and queues it up while Johnny all but interrogates you for the plot. As the opening scenes flicker across the screen, you snuggle in further, even tugging a blanket off the back of the couch to bundle up on.

Johnny shoots you a longing look - you’re too engrossed in the movie - so Simon snags him by the back of the neck and tucks him into his side.

You fall asleep two-thirds of the way through, but Simon lets you. Likes watching you breathe, face soft and smooth. Can’t for the life of him even recall what’s on the telly.

That night, after a quiet (but peaceful) dinner, and everyone’s showers, Simon ushers Johnny to the room he usually shares with you. Hope flickers across the pup’s face, confusion and trepidation across yours.

“In the middle, Johnny,” Simon rumbles. “The little one by the window.”

You and Johnny comply, cuddling in. Simon takes the side closest to the door, grunting a bit when Johnny instantly clings on.

“Is this the new arrangement?” Johnny asks eagerly.

“Go to sleep,” Simon answers.

He grumbles, but settles in. On the other side of the bed, there’s a bit of shuffling. Then your voice whispering, “Good night.”

#cod #my writing #fanfiction #reader fic #dark fic #mean simon ghost riley #mean simon #john soap mctavish x reader #simon ghost riley x john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley x reader #ghoap x reader #panic attack #tw gaslighting

[bl0w-m3]

People will tell you “trust me, I’m not going anywhere” and then two days later never speak to you again with no explanation. Abandonment doesn’t even phase me anymore. Everyone else left why wouldn’t you.

#bpd #actually bpd #mental health #bpd shit #bpd shitposting #actually borderline #autism #bpd meme #bpd problems #bpd mood #anxiety attack #autistic #bpdmemes #mental illness #ptsd #borderline personality problems #memes #mental health memes #panic attack #actually autistic

[riant-draws]

tw for panic attack, eyestrain (last page), swears

@tsunochizu's backwards through the snow!! this fic is my lifeblood

this scene's from chapter 15, in which iirc sig is like "ok pebbs is acting weird as hell time to get to the bottom of this" and pebbs wants some modified neuron flies for extra storage (which sig can send him the blueprints for), which ends up in them having a very... exciting video call

also I belatedly realized that the author made designs for sig and pebbs in btts but haha I am not redrawing pages~

this took me over a month I'm not even kidding

*dies*

#rw backwards through the snow #chapter 15 #tw eyestrain #eyestrain #panic attack #five pebbles #rw five pebbles #5 pebbles #rain world #rain world art #rw comic #no significant harassment #rw no significant harassment #this was supposed to be a short scribbly thing #because i need to stop being a perfectionist #it kinda worked for the first two pages #fic art #long post #riantart

[bowiesawizardmoony]

i headcanon that reg gets really bad panic attacks and sirius use to try and help him calm down but nothing ever worked except to wait it out, but when james and reg started dating james found a way that worked to calm him down. he would hold reg to his chest so he could feel his heartbeat while telling him over and over again how loved he is and how beautiful and smart and he would tell him all the things he loved about him and even could the freckles across his cheeks and tap each one as he counted.

#james potter #dead gay wizards #maurders era #sirius black #my idiots #remus lupin #james loves regulus #jegulus #regulus black #regulus loves james #james likes to bother regulus #starchaser #sunseeker #panic attack #regulus gets panic attacks #james calms regulus down

[lovelylinnn]

steve uses the non-verbal safeword.

CW: slight NSFW, panic/anxiety attack, harmful stims (scratching self)

“tap three times on me if you ever can’t speak and wanna stop, okay?”

yes, steve had remembered those words. all throughout the times they had sex, he remembered those words. but it didn’t make them any less scary.

the thought of ever needing to stop in the middle of a scene made his palms sweat. of course he and eddie trusted each other; knew that if the other was in trouble and needed to stop, they’d completely understand. no judging whatsoever.

but still… absolutely needing to stop and move on made him so anxious. deep down he didn’t want to be a disappointment. he didn’t want eddie upset.

“baby, what’s your color?” eddie murmured to him, rubbing his shoulders and slowing his rhythm. steve did not reply, shakily breathing into the pillow and tearing up.

“steve, color?” he asked, louder, and more firm. yet he could not bring himself to talk. his mind went to the other times in previous relationships, where he felt like this exactly, and they didn’t even think to check in. and he couldn’t bring himself to stop them.

he could feel eddie shift, basically ready to pull out, before he asked again, “steven.”

oh. his full name. eddie only used it when he was deadly serious. this seemed to snap him out of his haze, and he shakily reached behind him and found somewhere on his body to tap.

one. two. three soft and hesitant taps, just like eddie told him to do months ago.

“red,” eddie mumbled to himself, worried, and pulling out immediately. he flipped steve over, pulling him close and cupping his tear-stained cheeks.

“what’s wrong? what can i do?” he asked softly, searching his eyes.

“i- i don’t know,” he choked out, a heavy sob leaving his lips before gulping down air he felt like was leaving his body too fast.

“that’s okay, just breathe. breathe, steve, okay? c’mere,” he pulled him into his lap, his head in his neck as he continued to cry. eddie ran his fingers through his hair, and steve clutched onto him tight.

“deep and slow breaths,” he told him, and steve was doing the opposite. breathing way too fast and inhaling far too much, to the point his chest and stomach hurt and he began to feel dizzy.

“steven, listen to me,” there it was again, the full name, which brought him somewhat back to his senses, “deep, slow breaths. do it with me.”

and he tried. he breathed with eddie, taking in some air and blowing it out too fast before inhaling sharply again; coughing and sobbing.

“there, that’s it. it’s okay baby, just try again.”

steve only wanted to cry more. of course eddie was congratulating him even after he didn’t even do it.

“again,” he told him, beginning to inhale slowly, holding it, and exhaling slowly. steve followed, better this time, but still failing.

“i- i can’t,” he choked out.

“yes you can, do it with me,” he said, inhaling and exhaling again. steve followed, his hand going to his forearm, clawing to try and ground himself more.

“no,” eddie caught his arm, pulling it away and bringing it up to his chest, “do you remember what your therapist said?”

“he said,” he paused, his breath catching in his throat as he cried, “to find a different way to ground myself.”

“correct. now, just feel my heart. i’m right here, steve. i’m not leaving. try and match your heartbeat to mine,”

steve kept his hand flat against eddie’s chest, then did the same for himself. he could feel how fast his heart was going versus eddie’s, and it made him uncomfortable.

the other rubbed his back, and kept one hand running through his hair, breathing slow and deep and watched as steve tried to do the same.

“good job,” he praised, kissing his cheek. the pair’s breathing pattern was now the same, and steve was no longer crying. steve nodded as thanks, crawling off eddie’s lap and under the blankets, curling up. eddie stood to put his underwear and sweats back on, only to sit back down on the bed and run his fingers through steve’s hair again.

“do you want to talk about it?”

steve sighed shakily and shrugged, wiping his red cheeks.

“just started thinking,” he mumbled.

“about?”

“things in previous relationships. and then i started feeling like i was crawling in my own skin, and i started to panic,”

“what about your previous relationships?” he questioned, only curiously, with no mean intent.

steve let out a quick exhale before sitting up, “how i could never really say no, i guess? i know it doesn’t matter now. i trust you. and i started feeling overwhelmed in the first place, so i started thinking about the safe word, and how you told me to say ‘red’ or tap you three times. but it just made me anxious. i knew i needed to stop but i didn’t want to upset you in the process,”

“you could never upset me over something like that, steve, okay? that’s the point of the taps and the system we have. you know your limits, and in case they’re ever pushed, you do or say so. i’m so proud of you for using it,”

eddie pulled steve in for a hug, rubbing his back softly. steve’s heart kind of broke. here he was, in his boyfriend’s arms starting to cry again because he said he was proud of him. proud of him for something as simple as saying no, and stop. something he never thought he could do; something he was taught was wrong, and his boyfriend was praising him for it.

“i’m proud of you,” he repeated, to which steve only cried harder, nodding in his shoulder as thanks and sniffling.

he pulled back, laying down and wiping his face again.

“i’m gonna go bring you some water and some easy food to eat, okay? just stay there,” he smiled, getting up and heading to the kitchen.

steve smiled softly, getting comfortable under the warm blankets and inhaling the familiar scent of gain and eddie’s cheap cologne.

and he thanked the universe for a boyfriend that was actually a decent human being.

#stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #steve x eddie #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #overstimulated #safe word #angst #panic attack #overwhelmed #steven harrington #gay boys #boyfriend #gay men #short fiction #sweet #short but sweet