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#PLEASE GET ONE (1) SELF ESTEEM
harmoonix · 4 months
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Eye of the hurricane
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(Short Astrology Observations)
🌪️- Chiron in Scorpio/8th or Chiron in Scorpio Degrees [8°, 20°] can be afraid to be intimate with their partners, or they can be anxious when it comes to intimacy
🌪️- Sun/Uranus/Neptune in the 12th house are half between the worlds, with one foot in the real world and with one foot in their subconscious world/spiritual
🌪️- Moon aspecting Pluto can sense energies for example they can have sense when they're being followed or watched by others
🌪️ - Chiron in Pisces/Chiron at Pisces Degrees (12°, 24°) and Chiron in the 12th house will have to end some karmic pain/wounds from their past lives in this current one
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🌪️ - Neptune in the 1st house can get into a state of realization a bit harder than others, they usually tend to dream with their eyes open
🌪️ - Uranus aspecting asteroid Psyche (16) will make the native so much intuitive. Having these aspects will feel like a lightning striking the sky.
🌪️ - Psyche in Taurus or in the 2nd house can make the native gracious/ they can be blessed by Venus with grace/elegance and romance
🌪️ - People with Pluto aspecting the ascendant can get hate and envy without a reason, they're like in the middle of the fight and still the one who gets blamed 100% times
🌪️ - Saturn in the 12th and 6th house have a hard time to focus on themselves, in their lives they mostly focused on others instead of themselves and that can cause a chaos between soul & body
🌪️ - Ceres (1) in the 1st house is already a big indicator that you need to nurture yourself, you could've have been hurt a lot in your past and that caused pain in your life
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🌪️ - Mars in air and fire signs (yang energy) wil feel very attracted or pulled in by the men around them. Is not like you are attracted by them but you rather are pulled in their circle of energy
🌪️ - Mars in the 11th house will be that friend who laughs when you do something wrong but still supporting you in some friendly way
🌪️ - Mercury in the 7th house cannot function in a relationship where there is not communication a lot. Omg guys please stay away from people who don't like to communicate their feelings because you'll get hurt so much
🌪️ - Mercury ascendant in your persona chart can indicate how are you at your best when you're communicating/expressing yourself fx Leo Rising may like to talk about self esteem and that will make them feel better
🌪️ - Destinn asteroid (6583) in Libra or Taurus cand end up being in a place predominant with fashion/art/style/glamour
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🌪️ - Air Risings feel like a breeze of air in your life, they won't judge you or pull you down but rather they will be staying supporting always and they're so open-minded everything
🌪️ - Midheaven in Sagittarius or in Sagittarius Degrees (9°, 21°) can have luck when choosing for a career/job because Jupiter rules that specific house of theirs
🌪️ - Venus in Capricorn/Venus in the 4th/Venus in Cancer house can look after an traditional relationship and traditional household
🌪️ - Sun at 4°, 16° 28° degrees (Cancer Degrees) when they get hurt sometimes these natives try to manipulate people emotionally
🌪️ - Mars in the 3rd house may enjoy riding cars/motorcycles/bicycles/ etc.. Or they can find satisfaction in these things
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🌪️ - Cancer Moons or Moon in the 4th house. They can try to be like their mothers but they could also get the toxic traits from their mothers aswell
🌪️ - Pisces Sun/Moon/Rising/Midheaven natives can be so indecisive when it comes to choosing the right path for them, because they can have more options to choose from and it can end up promising
🌪️ - Juno in Pisces Degrees (12°, 24°) or Juno in the 12th house are looking for a lasting romantic relationship, they want to feel romantic and make their partners to feel the same
🌪️ - Moon aspecting Venus (all aspects), i can't find the perfect words to describe this but, they can search all their lives for their partners and it can get pretty sad if they lose the hope for finding "the one" fated for them
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H a r m o o n i x
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i23kazu · 3 months
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♡ TO BE LOVED BY
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characters. albedo zhongli diluc alhaitham x gn!reader genre. romantic fluff + hurt/comfort. 1.6k words. an. part 1 , part 2 coming soon!!!! | to be loved by genshin men who appreciate art forms – where their favourite piece of art is you. ; reader is insecure + has low self esteem, and the men help them think otherwise. | please reblog!! im getting back into writing and reblogs with tags and comments will make me want to write more :D
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the painter
to be loved by albedo, the painter — people realise that the faces that he paints every day seem to resemble one person and one person alone. the high cheekbones, the crooked smile, the monolids — its either the artist has a case of the same face syndrome, or there is only one source of inspiration for him . . .
albedo sits by his artistry room, the window tinting golden light that shines onto your features. it highlights parts of you that you dislike, you argue, but he tenderly kisses each spot that brings you distaste. if you cannot love yourself, then let him love you extra. if you cannot see yourself the way he looks at you – with all the love and admiration and sweet infatuation in the world – then let him paint you in the way he so lovingly sees you so.
he motions for you to tilt to your left with a flick of his finger, not looking up from the blended paints on his wooden palette. you freeze – you don’t want to make him unhappy by not complying but complying also means seeing the ugliness of you. you don’t want him to see you ugly.
“i don’t like that side of me,” you whisper blankly. “it doesn’t make me look good.”
it is at these few words that albedo looks up from his painting.
“you are beautiful.”
he says the three words so matter-of-factly that you wonder if he even means it at all. they are so quick to fall out of his mouth – does he love you too little to properly regard them so, or does he love you so much that it requires no hesitation on his end to reassure you?
“albedo, thank you, but i am not-”
“you are so beautiful, my love,” albedo repeats. “and it pains me so because you don’t seem to believe it for yourself.”
“i am not-” you blink back salty tears.
“do my words hold no weight to you?” he asks, not unkindly. there’s an awkward stare that the both of you share before he lets a soft sigh part his lips, and he gathers you in his arms.
you look at him tiredly. this was not the battle you wanted to fight today, you think to yourself.
“i am beautiful.” you repeat after him. maybe, just maybe – if you say it enough, you can believe it just as wholeheartedly as albedo believes so. you can see the corners of his lips turn upwards into a soft smile – your lover smooths back your hair, planting a sweet kiss in the middle of your forehead.
“i love you, my muse. it’s alright if you don’t believe it just yet. you’ll have me to remind you that you are beautiful, every day.”
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the poet
to be loved by zhongli, the poet — the words he spins materialises out of his infatuation for you. at first glance, the words seem so bombastic – so huge, so big, that they don’t make any sense. but they are beautiful; his words are so sweet and lovely, endless love poems addressed to the one person he has fallen harder and harder for every single day. you.
“are you sure that’s a real word?” you laugh lightly, peering over his shoulder to glance at the newest word on his yellowed paper. eudaimonia, you read curiously.
“my dear, i would assume so,” he replies, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “i believe it means for a person to be of a flourishing, happy state. the thesaurus that tartaglia had obtained for me says so, but if you think otherwise, we can most certainly track down the author to contest that.”
“i trust the author.” you giggle.
“as do i.” zhongli presses a kiss to your forehead, and turns back to his pen.
you watch as he strings together sentences – sentences so lovely, you could never have ever imagined them to be about you. he describes the slight smile on your face when you reread one of your favourite books, or the fact that your laugh has two sounds – one like the tinkling of wind chimes, the other a boisterous, unbridled roar. his pen greets the paper once again, and you hear the gentle scratching of the tip against the sheet.
you are the reason i am able to rest at home with eudaimonia – my pillar, my rock, my lifeline.
“that’s beautiful. your writing is lovely as always.” you whisper, wrapping your arms tenderly around him from behind. he leans into the warmth of your touch, sweetly, lovingly, falling into your embrace.
“well, my dear – it would only make sense for my words to reflect the most pleasing of things to me.”
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the photographer
to be loved by diluc, the photographer — you are his model, day and night. he carries his camera when he can, and needless to say . . . more than three quarters of his camera roll is filled with pictures of you. they’re not perfect pictures, but they’re beautiful to him. and that is the only thing he cares about.
”diluc, don’t! i don’t look nice here.” you giggle as he, in a rare bout of unbridled playfulness, pretends to be your personal paparazzi.
“you look good in every photo, my love.” he chuckles, and runs you through the most recent photos he took.
it’s blurry. your cheeks look huge. your chin… “you look good” – was diluc blind, or lying?
you tighten your smile and turn back to your work, waving away thoughts that turn into jealous green monsters over others who would look good in his camera, no matter how imperfect their pose was.
“hey,” diluc sees the frown on your face. “i mean it. you look wonderful.”
“how?” you blink back frustrated tears.
“diluc, open your eyes. my eyes are uneven in this one. my cheeks look like a chipmunk’s. my chin.. i don’t even want to think about my chin. i don’t look good at all, diluc.”
he stays quiet for a moment, and you wonder if that was the right thing to say at all. maybe just keep quiet next time, (y/n). don’t insult his work – your insecurities are yours to hold alone, right? he tucks your hair away from your eyes and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.
“i urge you – look again, (y/n).”
“you didn’t edit anything, diluc.”
diluc thumbs away a stray tear as he cups your face – a betrayal to your plea to your body to keep quiet. just keep quiet, (y/n). your lover takes your shoulders and sits you down gently, kneeling next to you, camera in hand.
“you don’t look good, you say? interesting.” diluc has a placid smile on his face as he runs through his camera roll again – you are afraid of angering him, of doubting his craft – but how can you see those pictures and be immediately satisfied with what they are?
“why don’t you believe me? i’m the one who sees it.” you reply indignantly.
“i don’t believe so, not at all. you see it, but i see that you are smiling in each and every one of them, my love. you are happy and you are beautiful, my sun. undoubtedly so – for that is what the camera captures. is that not what matters the most?”
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the writer
to be loved by alhaitham, the writer — people often wonder who sparks these passionate feelings of infatuation in his writing; all they need to look at is the person he leaves his gaze to linger on for a little while longer. his smile seems to brighten a little when he’s talking with you . . .
he describes a love scene so tenderly. a man and his partner, dancing in the stillness of a living room in the witching hours of the night – sweet, loving words fall clumsily out of the man’s mouth – it’s obvious he’s infatuated with his partner. two words, my angel, stands out in the manuscript you read.
“hayi, why do you never call me your angel? ever?” you ask, a slight pout on your face.
“because you are not a metaphor for me to use,” he counters, not unkindly. “you are not someone who i want to compare a mere object to.”
you see the slight disappointment in his face, and you hate yourself for it.
“maybe being compared to something would be better.” you reply softly.
“you are so much more than that,” he cradles your face in his palm, so gently it hurts.
you don’t deserve this gentleness, do you?
“who am i to take that away from you?”
the silence that follows seems louder than anything else you have ever heard. he sighs softly, not with frustration, but with a tenderness that only alhaitham can muster. he gathers you in his arms – he is so, so much bigger and taller than you – he never wants to crush you. never with his anger, nor his fear, or his hurt or his sadness.
“i’m sorry for always asking that. i don’t want to be annoying.” you murmur, blinking away tears.
“you will never be annoying to me, (y/n).” he exhales.
another quiet moment is shared between the two of you – it’s healing. the silence seems to nod to a shared understanding of a love that need not be said.
“i love you, (y/n), most magnificently so. and if it would take a lifetime for you to remember that, i would like to ask for a chance to spend that lifetime with you,” he whispers these words with a quiet fierceness, burying his face into the crook of your shoulder.
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reblogs w/ tags & comments are highly appreciated !!! <3 every reblog with a tag or comment gets a cookie from me hehe
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starhoppin · 4 months
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pick a picture; how would your future spouse act when they're jealous?
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pile 1 -> pile 2 -> pile 3
disclaimer; this is a general reading! these messages may not fit everyone. please take what resonates and leave the rest.
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「pile one 」
five of pentacles rv (cb: queen of wands, four of pentacles), king of swords rv (cb: ace of swords, seven of cups rv), nine of pentacles (cb: four of cups, nine of swords)
when your future spouse is jealous, they tend to keep their thoughts to themselves. they view you as the queen of wands - charismatic, bold, charming - overall, a catch. so when others flirt with you, your future spouse gets a bit possessive. still, they seem to recognize that the way others behave towards you is beyond your control, and you cannot be held responsible for whether people flirt with you or not. consequently, they feel like bringing it up would only create unnecessary conflict between you two. however, - in a moment of weakness - this person may act cold and a bit rude toward the person who is flirting with you. this person is normally level-headed, but the thought of you being with someone else really upsets them. i also see them reassuring themselves that you only have eyes for them. they trust you a lot and you actually may be the type to shut down any person who tries to flirt with you - particularly if they're doing so in front of your future spouse.
if this reading resonated with you, please consider leaving a tip!
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「pile two 」
page of pentacles (cb: six of swords rv, three of cups), queen of pentacles rv (cb: ten of cups, four of cups rv), ace of cups rv (cb: four of pentacles rv, knight of pentacles)
i think your future spouse would struggle with acknowledging that they're jealous. they'll make an effort to act like everything is fine, yet it feels more like they're suppressing their genuine emotions. they may be the type to bottle up their true feelings in general. this person could struggle with issues of abandonment/neglect from past relationships, so when situations like this arise, they have to do their best to work through those emotions. instances that trigger their jealousy could be akin to reopening an old wound for them. despite knowing that you're happy together and you're not interested in anyone else, their instinctual response is colored by past feelings. your future spouse might place a high value on material possessions, and their love language may lean towards gift-giving. in light of this situation, they may become more extravagant in their gift-giving, almost as if they're in the courting stage in your relationship again. it's an energy of "no other person can provide for you like i can."
if this reading resonated with you, please consider leaving a tip!
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「pile three 」
five of swords rv (cb: six of wands, king of swords rv), three of pentacles (cb: queen of pentacles, five of cups rv), five of pentacles rv (cb: six of cups, king of pentacles)
out of all the piles, your future spouse is most likely to speak up and tell someone off if they're flirting with you. they seem to perceive the conflict as a form of competition, but it's not true competition because you are already taken by them. it's like your future spouse has this perspective of "try all you want, you can never win them over." still, your person is likely to voice their displeasure and make it clear that they'll never have a chance with you. while you may prioritize harmony, your future spouse exudes an attitude of "i don't care if they like me or not." they are the kind of person who speaks their mind in any situation, even if they're aware you might disapprove. i distinctly heard the words "charity work," so they might use cutting words to convey that the person is not even close to being in your league. this person has a healthy sense of self-esteem and also believes that you share a strong relationship based on trust. although they may get a bit heated initially, i don't think that they'll dwell on the situation.
if this reading resonated with you, please consider leaving a tip!
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tarot deck used in this reading: ostara tarot
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icyg4l · 10 days
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PAC: What Upgrades are Coming Into Your Life?
Hello beautiful people, so sorry for the delay on readings. I've been really distracted lol. But tonight marked the end of the $5 4/20 weekend sale. I am grateful for those who have purchased a reading. Now, if you would like to purchase a reading, please read my guidelines and let me know! (They will be regularly priced until another sale comes along). Now, this weekend’s PAC will be all about the upgrades that are coming in your life! Whether that’s in your career, home, family, finances, love, etc. We’ll find together! So without further ado, please pick your Megan baby. 🤭
Top Left-to-Bottom Right (1-4):
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PIle One, I feel like things have been getting hectic in your life. I think that this is a group of people who can get easily distracted by the small things. A lot of you are going through a breakup/separation from someone that betrayed you or love bombed you. I can feel my throat tightening as I’m typing this. I’m sorry, Pile One but this is a blessing in disguise. I think that this will be a death/rebirth period for you. I am seeing snippets of the Hiss video, specifically when Megan is dressed in all silver. I think you will come out stronger than ever. When I say stronger, I mean you will be less tolerant with other people’s bullshit and having better boundaries. I feel like someone tried to dominate you and as a result, it ruined your self-esteem. I see you taking some time to yourself and realizing who the fuck you are. You need to know that things will get better. Anything that happens over the course of the next seven days is meant to happen, Pile One. 
Cards Used: The Empress (RX), Prince of Cups, 7 of Swords, Strength, The Hermit, 3 of Swords (RX), The Magician, Temperance (RX), The Lovers (RX). 
extras: “bovine”. playing the dozens. hbcu bound. 1H lilith. a full shopping cart. laughter.
Pile Two: If you suffer from insomnia, you will absolutely start to get better sleep. Pile Two, you’re such a smart worker. I know you don’t like to work hard, and you will be getting a reward for that. I see a promotion coming your way. If you have a boss that has an explosive temper, I see that this will happen within the next three weeks. Your life also seems chaotic like Pile Two. You also seem like the obsessive type. I feel like this is a pile full of nightowls as well. Part of your upgrade process will mean embracing your shadow side. I think that you have some trouble with other women (if you’re a woman), or having trouble embracing your soft side. It is okay to be vulnerable. I also see if you’re on the search for a new car, then a woman will co-sign a loan for you. It seems like you will be changing from the inside out. The longer it takes for you to address the issues that you have going on internally, the longer the results will come. I am seeing that when you finally decide to open up and be vulnerable, the physical changes will manifest. For example, if you want longer hair, your hair will grow two inches. If you want to change your life, change your mind Pile Two. And I’d recommend you look up the term ‘limerence’. Start making changes to become more grounded and less clouded by delusions, fantasies and looping thoughts about stuff that does not exist in your reality. It’s time to let them go, Pile Two.
Cards Used: 4 of Cups, Queen of Cups, The Chariot, Ace of Discs, 3 of Discs, The Devil, King of Cups (RX), The Tower, 9 of Swords
extras: listening to nightcore. “egoic”. meat market. fresh beat band. beauty shop (2005). picker-upper.
Pile Three: Your hard work is finally going to pay off. You’ve been obsessing over your work and dedicating so much of your time to it. It is finally going to receive some recognition because you decided to not give up on your dreams. As a result, I see that your dream lifestyle will be well-funded. If you’re an artist or a clothing designer, this will especially resonate with you. The amount of time that you spent on your passion will be appreciated by many eyes, Pile Three. If you’ve been having a hard time accepting someone for who they are, or if you have been struggling with your emotions in general, I see that you will get a handle on it. And also, if you’re looking for a vendor, you will find one! You are being called to continue to focus on your craft. I am channeling this interview of GloRilla where she says that she abstained from relations with men, partying and alcohol for sixty days before she blew up. Then FNF was released, and that marked the start of her mainstream journey. So, keep going baby!!
Cards Used: Wheel of Fortune, Strength (RX), 5 of Cups, Queen of Cups, 7 of Cups, Princess of Discs, The Devil, 3 of Discs, Temperance, The Star
extras: christina aguilera. spiders. a series of unfortunate events. award shows.
Pile Four: The only way that you can learn from your mistakes is if you actually implement the lesson into your life, Pile Four. I can tell that you’re stubborn. Once you really understand that nothing can change if YOU don’t move things around, you will know how powerful you are. Some of you may have a really thick (and attractive) accent. I think that you can use this to your advantage to make things shake for you. Pile Four, do you really know yourself? Like outside of the things that you do and have, who are you? It is time for you to do some soul searching, my love. It feels like I am talking to a shell of you. I think that the upgrades that are coming in will involve other people. You will find someone who helps you embrace your rawest, natural self. I also think that you will be interested in fitness and will find a workout partner. Investing in yourself physically will impact you emotionally. You do not need to go back to your old self because they’re gone. Take pride in this new you. I feel that your spirituality will strengthen as well. Your boundaries will grow stronger, and as this happens, you will lose more friends unfortunately. But I don’t think you’ll be affected by it. Overall, I feel like this pile will gain a lot of clarity and mental strength to start breaking generational curses and shedding old skin. You got this, Pile Four!
Cards Used: 8 of Cups, The Star, Death, 9 of Swords, 7 of Wands, The Fool, Temperance, Page of Wands, The Lovers
extras: “you smell good.” “be you.” jump by tyla. maison margiela. kick-ass. wwe.
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clockwayswrites · 7 months
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Not Exactly Cinderella Part 2
Part 1
WC: 818
“You have a thing for black hair and blue eyes, huh?” Dick teased, looking at the guy that Wally had pointed out. He laughed as Wally slapped his shoulder for the comment. “What? I’m not complaining. And you’re right, he does have a cute smile.”
Wally just blushed again.
“Well, come on, I think that most of my official duties are done. Let’s go see what he’s like,” Dick said, heading back towards the stairs.
“What if he’s a jerk?” Wally asked.
“Then we just move on and go find someone else to talk to,” Dick answered easily. “This isn’t a mission or anything, Walls, if you don’t click you don’t click. You can think his smile is cute and not want to do anything with him.”
Wally sighed, though, rather than being comforted by that.“You keep talking like he’ll want to do something with me.”
Dick stopped them at the bottom of the stairs, tugging them to the side. He knew he probably looked a little worried, but he couldn’t help it. No, of course he could fake it, he was a damn Bat, but he didn’t want to. Wally deserved to know that he was bothered by this. If Dick had known that Wally was having these self esteem issues, he would have done something earlier.
Wally deserved to know how amazing he was.
“If he doesn’t want you, it will because he’s straight or not into quick romance or doing something physical,” Dick said. “Or because he’s insane and doesn’t like red heads. Never trust someone who doesn’t like red heads.”
Wally rolled his eyes but he looked more relaxed. “Just because you have a thing for red heads…”
“Walls, sweetheart, you’re amazing. You’re smart and funny and fun. And you’re pretty damn hot too between the red hair and adorable freckles and your runner’s body. If he’s not into you there could be reasons for it, but it’s not because you aren’t an amazing catch.”
Wally let out a breath of air and nodded. “Okay. Sure. I mean, I don’t agree but sure. Let’s go talk to him.”
“Great!” Dick said with a grin. He took Wally’s hand but dropped it as they got closer to their target. The guy must have taken a break from his last discussion and was over to the side with a fresh drink in hand. Dick detoured them briefly to get drinks also; it was important for everyone to feel like they were on the same social page. They settled near the other as if taking a break from the crowd themselves.
“Enjoying the evening?” Dick asked, drawing the strangers blue eyes to them.
Oh, fuck, more adorable freckles.
“You know, I actually am,” he said, seeming surprised by that. As an after thought he held out his hand. “Oh, sorry, I’m Danny.”
Not a socialite if he was leaving off the last name. That was a positive.
“Dick,” he said, shaking the offered hand before backing off. “And this is Wally.”
“Nice to meet you,” Danny said, as he shook Wally’s hand. “You two having a good night?”
“Mostly. We’re finally where we can relax and talk to who we want to, which is nice. Wally here always has to track down the other scientists at these things,” Dick answered for them, pleased when Danny perked up at that.
“Are you scientist?” Danny asked
“Chemist, mostly material sciences but some organic too,” Wally said with a slightly bashful little smile. “You?”
“Bimolecular and biomedical engineering,” Danny said.
At least Dick would have an easy excuse to duck out when the conversation got too technical for him.
“Did they do the same thing with you and keep trying to make you pick one?”
Danny laughed and gave a little shrug. Dick could tell Wally almost swooned at the sound— not that Dick could blame Wally, Danny had a really nice laugh and the crooked smile was downright precious.
“Totally. I though that two of them were going to get in a fist fight over me at one point! Which I suppose at least would have been hilarious. I’ve won so far, but it’s going to be hard to pick a doctorate when I get there.”
“Oh man, good luck. I got my masters last year and stopped for now. Want to get some work experience, you know?” Wally asked. “But it sounds like you’ll kick ass whatever you choose. Where are you going to school right now? Gotham doesn’t really do much of that, right?”
“U Penn,” Danny said. “I’m close enough location wise that my godfather called in a favor for me to be his plus one for this event, but it really hasn’t been that bad so far.
“Who’s your godfather?” Dick asked curiously.
Danny smiled that crooked smile again. “Vlad Masters.”
Dick couldn’t help the way his nose wrinkled at that.
Danny just laughed.
--
AN: Just a little bit of Dick's POV! And oh no, Dick thinks Danny is cute too! Whatever will we do...
Wanted to write more of this, but *waves hand at everything*. But this brings us to the end of the 'new schedule'! It was fun to do but I certainly won't be doing it every week. It's back to just trauma Tuesday for now! Stay delightful, darlings.
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the-witty-pen-name · 2 months
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Love is Blind (Part 1)
Eddie Munson x PlusSize!F!Reader
Summary: In a last ditch effort to evade the normal disappointments of dating, a group of misfits desperate to have someone see who they are on the inside volunteer for the most recent brain chemistry study at Hawkins Lab. 
Word Count: 3.1k
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Warnings: Reader has low self-esteem and struggles with self love/acceptance, anxiety/trauma related to bullying, tooth rot worthy fluff, Eddie being a major flirt, cursing, mentions of substance use, brief descriptions of masturbation, smut in later parts 
A/N: I got this idea from watching the newest season of Love is Blind and getting genuinely annoyed that the show still doesn’t have a more size inclusive dating pool. I feel like the show  could be so much more. There are many subjects the show could be featuring that it just doesn’t. Anyways, this is incredibly self-indulgent, Eddie Munson loves plus size women and I refuse to accept otherwise. Enjoy!
Please consider reblogging/commenting if you like it!
Day One: 
Eddie’s palms are sweaty, and he nervously wipes his hands on his jeans repeatedly. He bounces his leg, twisting the rings on his fingers. Fuck, what the hell is he even doing here? He’s sitting on a couch, facing a blank wall, and he’s absolutely scared shitless that he’s finally doing this. Hell, if it bombs, he gets some cash for participating. Whatever, it’s not like he actually believes in this shit. 
He’s up and pacing the room when he finally hears a door on the other side of the wall open and close. He literally jumps over from the back of the couch to get back in his seat. He can hear the faint patter of someone walking. Then it stops, he assumes the person on the other side has taken a seat.
“This is so weird,” the voice from the other side of the wall says, and Eddie feels immediately at ease. He chuckles, shaking his head, standing up to walk the pent up energy out. 
“Batshit,” Eddie exclaims in agreement. “I don’t know what I’m even doing here.”
“I’m here for the $200,” the voice jokes. “But that’s just me.”
He’s instantly relaxed, and suddenly, it doesn’t feel like he’s sitting alone in a drafty room on a lumpy couch. He’s intrigued, and ready to play the game. At least, he’s open to this first conversation. He feels a little better knowing that he’s not alone. He sits down finally, rubbing his hands still. 
“I’m here,” he begins, allowing himself to be a little vulnerable, “because I am sick of the way people look at me.”
“Fuck, amen to that,” the voice responds with a clap, and the reaction makes Eddie grin from ear to ear. “Guys are so shallow, no offense.” He laughs.
“I’m not usually this outgoing,” the voice shares, sounding a little more reserved, “There’s something about you not looking at me that's making me a little more brave.” Eddie thinks this girl sounds so incredibly sweet. He’s never been attracted to someone’s voice, but he’s feeling himself being pulled in. It’s gentle, and kind and not deserving of whatever the world did to you to lead you here. 
“Well, I’m used to being the spectacle,” Eddie sighs, leaning back into the couch, slumping down. “I can’t help it,” he exhales, “I mean, people think the worst of me no matter what I do, so like, fuck it. I’m gonna have fun with it.” 
“Is that all of it?” the voice asks, knowingly. Eddie scoffs at the perception. Is he that obvious?
“No,” he cringes, and he hears a giggle from the other side of the wall. It helps him feel more comfortable. “Um honestly,” he continues, a little shy, “Part of me keeps the act up cause if people are watching me, I’m not alone. I’d rather be the laughing stock than have no one acknowledge me at all.” 
“I’m the opposite,” the voice shares, “I’d so much rather be out of sight out of mind.” 
“Doesn’t that get lonely?” he asks softly. 
“In my experience,” the voice continues, “it has always felt like people keep me around so they feel better about themselves. I know that’s not true- I know my friends love me. I just- being by myself is my comfort zone. I don’t need to worry about how I’m like being perceived. Or if, like, I'm being judged.” 
Eddie nods understandingly, until he remembers you can’t see him. 
“I get it,” he says, trying to be comforting. “I, uh, yeah.. People don’t like… they don’t like understand what it feels like when you just feel simultaneously so small and like you take up too much space- and how they’re the ones that make you feel that way.” 
“Wow- I’ve never heard it put into words so well before. That’s just been my life, you know?”
“We’re really getting deep huh?” he jokes, chest swelling with pride when he hears the laugh. 
“I really like your voice,” the voice admits, and Eddie feels his face heat and he’s sure his face is flushed red from the compliment. His ego has been very much stroked at this point, and he takes the opportunity to fully embrace this whole flirting thing. If he can at least leave this experiment making someone feel good, then he won’t consider this a waste of time. 
“Well, I really like your voice,” he quips. “Actually, uh- I’ve been sitting over here, on a really shitty couch. And I was asking myself what the hell was I doing here? I am probably the worst person for this experiment- I don’t think I could take this seriously. Then, I heard your voice- and I instantly felt attracted to you- if you can believe it. Now, I’m over here, your voice bringing out thing I would never fucking say out loud. I’m pacing around, you’ve made a mess of me.” 
It feels like only a short period of time goes by, but in actuality, Eddie and his mystery date get wrapped up in talking for over three hours. He talks to her about music, his favorite books, his Uncle Wayne… sharing more about himself to a total stranger than he’d ever volunteer to even his close friends. You swap childhood stories, commiserate over bullies, and before he knows it, he thinks you might know him better than anyone. 
A timer buzzes and it’s time for Eddie to move on to his next first “date.” As the door opens and one of the technicians is ready to escort him to the next room. He desperately stares at the wall before he moves, hoping to hear the voice one more time. 
“Please, if you’re still there,” he says standing up, “I want to talk with you again tomorrow.” He knocks on the wall, rings tapping. He receives a knock back, and he grins devilishly, 
“It’s a date.” 
The technician taps his shoulder and he nods, letting them lead him out to the next room. He wraps an arm around the mousy guy as he jots down something on his clipboard. “I have a date tomorrow,” Eddie beams, looking back at the blank wall like he’s looking back to get another glance at you. 
Day Two:
You still tug anxiously at your shirt, making sure it’s not clinging to your belly. Even though none of your dates can see you, you can’t shake the self conscious feeling. Yesterday was draining, all of the dates you had fell so short after that first one. Nothing came as easy to you as that first one, and you’re hoping you’ll get to talk to him soon. 
You take a sip of your water, and opt to move from the couch to the floor. You sit criss-crossed and stare at the wall in front of you. You really focus on your breathing and try to let yourself open up. You’re here because you’re hoping to find someone who likes you for you- but no matter what, you’re still incredibly anxious thinking about the big reveal. No matter how well the conversations go, you worry it will be null and void once they see you’re plus size. 
“Please, please, please for the love of God that this is finally you?” you hear a familiar voice whine, and you can’t contain your smile. “Pretty girl, c’mon talk to me.”
“You don’t know what I look like,” you scoff, but still, you feel yourself still melting like putty. 
“Fuck, finally,” mystery boy sighs, and you hear him collapse on the couch. You can only assume his set-up is the same as yours. “Baby, I have been dying to hear your voice again.”
“This experiment not working out for you?” you ask, sympathetically. You find it hard to believe he’s not chatting up everyone else and hitting on them the same way he does with you. It’s the only explanation. You can’t let yourself believe he genuinely feels differently towards you. 
“No this sucks,” he says, and then you hear him blow a raspberry. You can’t help it but laugh in agreement. “I just want to talk to you.” He sounds so vulnerable, and you actually find yourself believing him. 
“Again,” you retort, rolling your eyes, “You don’t really know anything about me.” 
“I want to,” he sounds so sincere, and it makes your heart swell. “You are the least boring person here.” 
“I’m touched,” you reply sarcastically, and you feel good hearing that you made him laugh. 
“I wish I could take you out,” he says and he sounds closer, like he’s sitting up against the wall. “I’ve got like no fucking money,” he laughs. 
“I hate going out,” you reassure him, “I want to just hangout with you.”
“No, no, no,” he says dramatically, “No safe zone. You deserve to go out and be shown off. I am not gonna lock you away from the world, I’m gonna show you off.”
“And how are you gonna do that?” You quip, letting yourself slip into a little bit of a fantasy. You let yourself feel wanted and feel desirable even if it’s contained to this room. 
“Well, not to be like that guy,” he’s suddenly sounding a little shy and you find it very endearing. “But like, I’d want to bring you to one of my band’s shows. Like- don’t get me wrong, we play at like really shitty bars that take way too long to drive to. And we don’t even make back the money the gas costs to get there, but like, I really like it and um, that’s uh when I feel I’m at my best, and I’d want you to see that side of me.” 
“So what does bringing girls to a show look like for you?” you ask nervously, feeling a little twinge of jealousy that he may have done this before with someone else. 
“Sweetheart,” he chuckles, “if I was capable of getting girls out in the wild do you think I would’ve signed up for this?” You laugh a little. “Trust me,” he further explains, “This is not something I never imagined I could do before talking to you.”
“Okay, okay, I take it back,” you reply, and you're sure he can hear your smile through the wall. “Let me rephrase,” you say, taking a deep breath, “What does bringing me to a show look like?”
“Well,” he exhales, “I’d pick you up, in my really nice and not sketchy at all van that doesn’t make any questionable noises. I usually drive the guys too but honestly, fuck them, I want us to have time together. I don’t mind telling them to pound sand. And don’t feel bad for them, they’re also kind of assholes.” 
You can’t help but giggle, noticing he tends to have that effect on you. He makes you nervous in a really good way, and you try hard to fight it, but you worry that it’s no use. As much as you find yourself really enjoying mystery boy’s company, you can’t help but let that fear creep in that all of this will go away if he ever sees you. 
“But anyways,” he continues, “I’ll admit it, I’m a little bit of a show off. And I know if you were there watching me, I’d just like be putting my all into it. I would really try hard to impress you. I’d also want the pricks there to know you’re with me so no one bothers you, so as much as I know you’d hate it, I would point you out and tell the whole place you’re there with me.” 
Your face is so warm, and you can’t hold back the cheesy smile that has expanded across your whole face. You can’t believe a guy would be genuinely that proud to have you there with him. You really do think that he’s being genuine, and it makes your heart soar. 
“I’m really surprised you don’t have girls fawning over you, rockstar,” you smile, wanting to make him feel special too. Even if this crashes and burns, you can tell he’s a sweet guy. You can see that maybe he’ll let you down gently. You don’t know why your insecurities hold you down this much. You, more than anyone, get in the way of your own happiness. You’re determined to not let it affect you this deeply. You resolve to let yourself see how this goes, and to throw yourself into it- willing to get hurt. 
“Trust me,” he scoffs, “I am not what you’re thinking I am. I’m not like that guy, I’m more awkward than anything. I think girls are more interested in the football star guys, the future suits, you know? Guys with a haircut and go to college- They don’t want to waste their time with a going nowhere punk.” 
“I really don’t think that’s true,” you speculate, “There’s no one with a poster of Jack Welch on their wall- but every girl I know has a picture of Eddie VanHalen.” 
“Is there like a peephole in here or something?” He says jokingly, knocking on the wall, like he’s looking for one. “Or are you just a psychic or something?” 
“What are you even talking about?” You chuckle, raising an eyebrow, confused. You shake your head, but before you can’t get clarification, the buzzer sounds, marking the end of your time with him for today. 
“NOOO,” you hear him dramatically exhale. A muffled voice, your assuming is one of the lab techs must be exhausted. 
You press your hand to the wall, as your form of an intimate goodbye as the technician holds the door open for you. You get up from your spot and head out, excited to come back tomorrow for another round of dates. 
Leaving Hawkins Lab, each test subject needs to stagger there exits as to not risk accidentally seeing the other candidates. You are in a small waiting room, doing your daily exit interview with one of the neuroscientists. 
*** 
Under the agreement you signed when you volunteered for the experiment, you are not permitted to go to any locations where people socialize and congregate. You’re not permitted to go anywhere where you may accidentally see or meet one of the other subjects. You are required to only go out on necessary errands such as grocery shopping or appointments. 
On the drive back to your apartment, your mind keeps overplaying the worst case scenarios your anxiety keeps conjuring. You know the whole point of the experiment is to see if love, or whatever trumps physical attraction. If hypothetically, someone does fall in love with you- your appearance shouldn’t be a factor. However, it’s not wrong for you to want your partner to be attracted to you. And you acknowledge physical attraction is a thing and if you aren’t someone’s type that isn’t bad either. Your past experiences and unresolved childhood traumas surrounding your appearance and self-esteem, makes it difficult to allow yourself to see that you are actually desirable. 
Although unknown to you, a lot of people in this experiment feel the exact same way. Not fitting into the box society wants to slot them in has made dating incredibly difficult for many. There’s a comfort knowing everyone there supposedly wants the same thing as you, just to be loved. You weren’t sure going in that you would even make connections with anyone. At first, it felt like low stakes- worst case scenario you walk away no better off than before. But, you didn’t anticipate actually hitting it off with someone like you have, and it’s opened a whole new set of fears. 
***
At his trailer, Eddie just stares up at the vent in the ceiling above his bed. He blows out another puff of smoke and watches as it swirls and wafts up into the air around him. His thoughts are consumed entirely with you. He watches how the smoke from his blunt mixes with the smoke of his burning incense and his mind drifts, just completely fixated on how the minutes on the clock tick by until he can talk to you again. 
He wonders if you’re thinking about him, the same way he’s thinking about you. He wonders if you’re trying to picture what he looks like the same way he’s making guesses about you. He thinks about if you smoke, and he imagines what it’d be like if he was sharing this with you. Thinking about what it would look like, your lips around the joint, blowing out smoke from what he imagines is just a sexy mouth. He can’t help but close his eyes and let a little frustrated groan escape at the thought. 
He can’t picture the entirety of you, but more so he can imagine just your presence in his room. He imagines the feeling of someone laying beside him, smooth skin he can run his hands across, the warmth radiating off of another body in his bed. He has your voice in his head, wishing you were talking to him now. 
With his eyes closed, joint put aside on his ashtray, he imagines it’s your hands tugging down his jeans, and it’s your hand wrapping around his hard cock that’s staining the band of his boxers now. He thinks about your laugh, and that adorable giggle of yours, and how much he can bask in the fact that it’s him who elicits those reactions from you. He thinks about the sweet voice, the flirty fluctuations of your tone when you warmed up to him. He imagines you using that same voice to tease him if you were here, seeing just how much of a mess you’ve made of him. 
He’s never been able to get off without some kind of visual aid, so to speak, before. Now, he’s practically whimpering just thinking about the sound of your voice and thinking about your hands on him. He thinks about the feeling of your hands working his length up and down. He imagines how playful it would be, rolling around on this bed with you as the layers you're both wearing come off. He doesn’t even need to try to think about what you look like to feel aroused by you. He doesn’t even care in the slightest at this moment. 
He’s so needy, twitching as he feels himself get closer, and he thinks about what you would be whispering in his ear to get him to finish. He imagines the praise, and the way you would be begging for his cum. He realizes he doesn’t even know your name, as he’s hit with the urge to call it out. 
“Fuck, pretty girl,” he moans instead, working himself up to his release. He keeps moaning out his little nickname for you until he’s made a mess of his shirt and he’s gasping to catch his breath as his orgasm extracted all the energy from his body. 
Tomorrow, he resolves, he needs to learn your name. 
PART TWO
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celestialtarot11 · 1 month
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How to Turn Your Situation Into Something Positive 🍵💗
Hi friends! Welcome to another PAC reading where we’ll be looking at how to transform any current situations you’re in! Keep in mind there are many different groups here and there will be messages which you won’t resonate with, just leave it for someone else 😊❤️ Please like, comment and reblog to share the love ☮️
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Pile 1 🌟- Hi there pile 1’s! Someone definitely did ya’ll dirty in a situation and it left you feeling sad and lonely. A loss was created because someone handled a situation unfairly, and you’ve been feeling very down. This situation felt like it was weighing on your chest, and possibly there was a misunderstanding of feelings, or someone took something the wrong way and blew up here. And I feel like you took the brunt of the situation for a long time. I feel like this is something that was happening for a long time, and you’ve been wanting justice to come to this situation, or karma to hit that person to show them where they went wrong. Its also very possible for some of you this person reached out and reignited those triggers and you’re finding it difficult to be compassionate towards them. Your anger is understandable and so are your triggers, I feel like spirit is saying it’s important to know your boundaries in this situation and have your back. Look after you first. There are/were people who benefitted from you having no boundaries because they liked the feeling of power, and that needs to change. There’s this feeling of stepping up or no longer accepting their bullshit, which I’m so proud of you pile 1! Know your worth and value. Thats how you turn this situation into a positive one. Knowing your true worth and value will help you walk away from anything that is less than what you want. This person could be bread-crumbing you and as of now you’re done with that energy! Im also hearing whilst its very understandable you’d wish someone their own karma, spend your time wishing yourself the blessings you’ve always wanted instead. Feed yourself empowerment and start thinking “how can I support myself now?” be there for yourself pile 1, and also once you heal you begin to see a lot of things that you didn’t before. Within yourself and everyone else. Happy healing pile 1 💗🌟 Wishing you the best! Please like comment and reblog to support this blog ✨
Pile 2 ☮️- Hi there pile 2! ❤️🌟 Welcome to your reading. For you I see you need to distance yourself from a community or situation here and really really focus on your self confidence. Your esteem, body, and health. There’s something about getting your life in order and no longer letting external factors or people tell you what to do. Become your own boss in this situation. Some of you need to take an active role in this situation as well and know you’re the shit! 💗 like speaking up, setting boundaries, deciding what YOU’ll do, not focusing on them. You’re everything anyone could ever want, and some of you may have forgotten that. Your true power is meant to come out in this situation. What would help as well is remaining unbothered by this person or situation. I’m hearing it’s a silly situation, for some of you. Like petty high school drama. There could be someone trying to compete with you and show they are the best, but truthfully insecurities are loud, confidence is quiet. I’m hearing from spirit let them make a fool out of themselves because they are responsible for themselves only! What they say and what they do is on them. Continue working on yourself because I feel like whoever this is, is trying to undermine your confidence or skill, and you won’t stand for it and shouldn’t! 😤 I also feel like spirit will be giving you messages in your dreams about this situation so definitely sleep with amethyst, clear quartz or lavender herb under your pillow. If not allergic, drink lavender and chamomile before you bed ✨either way I feel like your presence is truly amazing and its like royalty, and what you need to know is that don’t give those haters your attention. Focusing on yourself is literally the best outcome here. Thank you pile 2’s! Please like comment and reblog to spread the love 💗🌹
Pile 3 ⌛️- Hi there pile 3’s! First of all I just want to ask if ya’ll are okay? 🥹❤️ Ya’ll seem to be going through it. Either a relationship with someone got unhealthy and controlling, or there has been a loss and you’re struggling to cope with it. Spirit is offering a lot of support and healing right now, and although you may not see it or feel it, spirit is protecting you heavily now. There’s a veil around you. I also feel that this ending was necessary because it was getting toxic, controlling and brought out the worse. I think someone here had to make a decision to choose themselves over toxicity. And it’s okay to hurt by that too. Honor and acknowledge your loss without shaming yourself for making the healthy choice 💗 I received the Queen Of Cups so I feel like there’s something about focusing on your growth and healing now. “Let growth be your mission. Let healing be your reward. Let freedom be your goal.” I love this quote and I go by it. Spirit wanted me to share it with ya’ll. I feel like ya’ll have been working on your healing for a long time and revisited something of the past, and its been tough processing it. In a way, its allowing this new version of you to come through and grow every time 💗🥹 This new version of you has a lot of emotional abundance and knowledge, and is definitely patient and caring. I feel like your higher self is coming through to also say it’s important to feed yourself kind words. If harsh words worked it would’ve worked a long time ago is what I heard too. Call yourself the names you wish to be called, like nicknames, talk gently, and use respectful words to yourself the way you would with anyone else ✨💗 I feel like you guys used to give everyone your secret wisdom, or the things you’ve healed from like all of that information, and now you are being asked to remain private and selective about it. This will help you a lot in this situation to focus on yourself. Thank you for being here pile 3 and I sincerely hope this helped you ❤️🌟 Please like comment and reblog to help this blog grow 🌟😊
Thank ya’ll for stopping by! Its highly appreciated and I really hope this PAC got ya’ll the clarity you needed ❤️🥹 Thank ya’ll for being here always.
Paid Readings 💗✨
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sliverslipped · 8 months
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What qualities of you attract friends?
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Piles: 1-3 from left to right
Please do note that this is my first pac. I'm still a beginner and is practicing tarot with very limited resources. Please be mindful of your words and as it's said not everything might resonate. This is a general reading. Take what resonates and leave the rest. This is for entertainment purposes only.
Credits: Pictures aren't mine. I got it from Pinterest. I've also used the divider from @cafekitsune !! Check them out
Close your eyes and take a deep breath after taking a close look at the images. Choose the one that attracts you the most. Feel free to choose two piles if you feel drawn to both.
Comments and feedback are highly appreciated.
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PILE 1
Queen of cups you're someone who's seen as the mom of the group, the one who's always there for their friends, the one who's very loyal. Very loving too and this is one of the key qualities that attract strong friendship to you. You're a nurturing soul. Not only are you nurturing you're also very intuitive. You're very sensitive and when you make a connection with a person you treasure them. Page of swords you're a very charming individual who knows how to give the rest a good company. As pages depict someone who's younger either you might be younger by age or you have a youthful energy to you. You're quick witted and you might also be very curious and open minded. Five of cups you're not afraid to show your vulnerable side to your friends. Crying over spilt milk doesn't make you a miserable person either. Though the cards may depict a miserable one, think of it as you showing your vulnerable side to your friends and how much they cherish that you trusted them enough to open up to them about your worries and insecurities. Hermit you're someone who's wise and mature. You know when to withdraw from people and situations to assess and evaluate your feelings and thoughts better. You also have a healing energy to you. You're also very self aware and critical and is also the friend who's very reliable. You're also very spiritual. The sun you have strong leadership skills. You're very charming and you do not hesitate to shower your friends with compliments. You're not afraid of others stealing your spotlight either. You have a healthy ego. You also help people to grow and see their potential.
Gemini, cancer, virgo. Some of you may have these signs or have these placements. It doesn't necessarily have to be though.
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PILE 2
Strength you have great leadership qualities. You're someone who's very resilient. You have a healthy self esteem. You don't find the need to get extrrnal approval or validation because you're very confident in who you are. You also make your friends feel supported. Four of wands you're someone who enjoys your life. There's never a dull moment with you. You don't take anything for granted either. You're also someone who's very social. You're also full of ideas and curiosity. Seven of pentacle you're someone who's well organized, patient and systematic. You have a balance between feminine and masculine energy. You're also a keen observer. You know when to let go and what to let go of if you think that you no longer have a control over it. You do not rush into things, it doesn't mean that you don't want to get it done fast but rather you take your time and know when to rest. You're very reliable and commited. Hanged man you're patient and is capable of viewing things from different point of views. You're someone who's afraid to stand out from a crowd. You're very welcoming of others and make them feel at ease.
Leo, venus in aries, saturn in taurus. You may have these signs or have these placements in your chart. It doesn't necessarily have to be though.
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PILE 3
Hanged man you're capable of viewing things and situations from a new perspective or point of view. Very open minded. You're also very patient. You also make people feel at ease and welcomed.Queen of cups you're someone who's seen as the mom of the group. You're always there for your friends and is very loyal. Very loving too. You're a nurturing soul. Not only are you nurturing you're also very intuitive. You're very sensitive. Seven of cups you're very fun to be around. Your energy may feel like it's all over the place but in this context and getting the card upright it's not bad. You may also have many interests that keep you engaged and make you bit more interesting to your friends. You're also able to view things from different perspective. Page of cups you're vulnerable and emotionally open. You're attentive to the needs of others and is there for them. You're also Idealistic. You're very caring and compassionate. You're selfless. You also make others feel loved and appreciated.
Gemini, virgo, Venus in scorpio, Saturn in libra. You may have these signs or have these placements in your chart. It doesn't necessarily have to be though.
I'm sorry that this pile is very short compared to the previous ones so feel free to check the other ones if you felt attracted to any for more messages.
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Ⓒsliverslipped
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haru-natsuka · 2 months
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Second Male Leads Are all Yanderes but I Won't Rest Until I Win My Love Back (Female Reader x OCs)
CHAPTER 1
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Story will start from below synopsis
Every second male lead who appeared in this world had a hidden yandere side that can emerge at any moment and turn them into a twisted and obsessive villain.
As someone with a severe case of the "second male lead syndrome", you are determined to pursue your love for the second male lead, leaving the original male lead to become the second.
While you were busy chasing after the second male lead, the original male lead kept on bothering you and trying to get you to choose him instead.
"Don't you dare to come any closer!" You snap at the original male lead, your tone sharp and firm.
"Oh, and who's going to stop me? You?" The yandere stares at you, a menacing look in their eyes, as their body slowly moves closer.
"Too close! Step back!"
"Your words mean nothing to me. You can't control me. I will come as close as I please, you can't stop me."
As if a yandere was not enough, when you chose to ignore the original male lead, another second male lead suddenly entered your life, further complicating the situation.
The yandere and the upcoming second male lead both seem determined to have you for themselves, and they were both very possessive and pushy in their approaches to you.
You just wanted to be happy with your true love. Yandere or not, you would stick with your crush!
CHAPTER 1: THE CONFESSION
How would you determine for a man to be the first or second male lead? From behind a bush, you secretly watched a famous young knight professed his love to the most esteemed lady at the academy.
Confessions of love are a natural thing, it was everyone's right to develop such a feeling. However, how could you confess when you were hanging out with your best friend who had a crush on the same girl? We should talk about the timing there! 
There was a clear idiot word displayed on the knight's forehead in your eyes. His look also looks a bit stupid with a dump grin as he passionately confessing his love, forgetting his bestfriend altogether. Self-centeredness and idiocy were not a nice combination.
The girl appeared shyly glancing at him while softly playing with her eyelashes, deeply engrossed in the moment. Their surroundings were filled with a colorful display of flowers, bathed in the gentle rays of sunlight. What a truly perfect match.
'Hey, Liesel and Cyrus! My man over there, yeah, the one who is being ignored and neglected by you guys is having a moment of deep sadness and heartbreak right now. If you could please be the best friends that you're supposed to be and show some compassion and support, that would be greatly appreciated.'
You sighed with disappointment as both of them cannot hear your thoughts. It appeared that you were the one who must take action to save your man. Your crush hung his head low, using his glistening silver hair to shield his face from the painful scene unfolding before him. Hiding behind this wall of silvery locks, you could witness him hiding his tears. 
That was the difference between the male lead and the second male lead. One was a courageous figure, while the other merely existed in service of the female protagonist, loving and watching her from the sideline. As if she deserved such a title.
Despite the apparent contrast between the male lead and the second male lead, you found your true interest in the latter. You preferred him who was not as bold or confident, but who was always considerate of others' feelings. Even though all his paintings related to that famous girl, you still would like to declare that,
'My man finally is officially available!'
You made your way to your man, his head still bowed, tears still streaming down his face. You reached out a reassuring hand and quickly pulled him away from the scene. He appeared confused, and you flashed a triumphant glance in his direction, a bright smile upon your face.
"It's alright Adrian. My love is only for you"
>> CHAPTER 2
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sanjisboyfie · 4 months
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me psychoanalyzing sanji x male reader some moreeee
-> i'm actually sanji's #1 lover, especially after re-reading wci i'm so deeply EMPATHETIC WITH THIS MAN and i fear his content will consume my entire blog.
warning : sanji is really insecure and has rlly low self esteem sorry
sanji probably gets jealous very easily. like...concerningly very easily and each time he feels himself getting jealous it's literally borderline insane. it practically drives him to insanity.
oh my god this + his history with how fliratious he was with others, it drives him up a wall. he realizes quickly that his past actions on how he treated others before he got into a LOYAL relationship with you haunts him to this day.
everytime he sees you interact with anyone, man or women (for some reason, his jealousy is driven up even higher when it's a woman, though), he feels like he wants to take you into his arms and stake a very obvious claim on you as his and him as yours. it's a seemingly very childish thing, but to him, it's the most serious situation in the world. he doesn't want you looking at other women, he doesn't want you looking at other men - he wants to feel like he is enough for you and the best way you can do that is by giving all your attention to him.
and his jealousy only grows the more and more your attention isn't on him.
then the envy starts bleeding into guilt and overthinking. because to him: you're his one and only, there's never going to be anyone else after you - and if there was anyone else before you, well, they're nothing in his mind anymore. you are his entire being. it's like you're the sun and he's every other planet - his life and worth all revolve around you. all of his thoughts, from the moment he wakes up to when he sleeps, are just you. you're his everything.
when he starts seeing you talk to anyone else but him, it makes him overthink all of his past actions that led him up to this point. are you finally going to leave him? did you find someone better? is his past as a womanizer going to make you realize you don't want to be with him anymore?
then he goes through a phase where he dotes on you especially hard. he repeatedly tells you every single second of every single day, he loves no one but you and that he loves you with his entire being. it's concerning, to hear him so devotedly speak about his love for you as if he is going to disappear the next second. but he's only speaking like this because he thinks that ^ is going to happen, but it being you instead of him that disappears.
he fears that everyday he wakes up, you're not going to be beside him. you'd wake up in the middle of the night and realize you deserve better (because you do, in his mind, you deserve much better than him) and you're gonna leave him and the crew. and there's going to be no way they can find you because they are drifting on the ocean and just like that, you're going to be gone forever.
so yes, sanji does have a jealousy problem, but it's so much more than that. it stems deep, deep, deep down to his own self-esteem and his guilt on his past behavior. please be nice to him or his mental might completely crumble at the thought of you thinking he's just some sort of womanizer and lovesick fool.
he just needs constant reassurance and convincing that you're going to stay with him and a lot of affection and he might, maybe, maybe, just be okay. he just really needs you to be there for him.
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psychelis-new · 11 months
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pick a pile: "Next important person you will meet"
take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read something about the next person you will meet who will play an important role in your life. It could be romantic partner or platonic/friend, a boss/colleague/classmate or even some kind of guide/teacher (spiritual or mental). PLEASE BEWARE: it doesn't mean any of the people you have already met won't still be with you in the future or won't play an important role in your life, at all. It's just that in this specific reading we're focusing on people (and maybe even just one of them that you're supposed to know of now) that are yet to come.
don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.
(photos found on unsplash)
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1 2 3 4 - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -
pile 1
This is probably someone more in their masculine energy (doesn't have to be a man, I am seeing a beautiful woman tbh), someone strong willed, someone that may be luxurious (or very Taurus/Libra based) but also very warm, kind and generous. For someone, this person may be their boss, or a teacher of some kind; for others, this person will be a spiritual guide, as I think they can be very wise and enlightened too. For a few others we're talking possibly about a partner or someone that will take care of you even platonically, someone that will feel like home to you (even a friend/classmate/colleague, especially if a more experienced one that will try to help you learn and protect you eg. in your new endeavour). At first you may not understand them or "recognize" them (for some this person may belong to a past life connection or you may have known them when you were little or randomly in the past) but with time you'll get over this fear/insecurity of not getting or even not liking them (and why they help you or make you feel like they do). You can't also see them coming in at this time, and it's fine. Keep doing yourself, be more practical (especially if you spend too much time daydreaming or focusing on unimportant matters). This person may come in all of a sudden with a request or news. Whatever role they'll play in your life, they are gonna help you reach another level of self consciousness and self esteem, be more happy and determined (they may be very success-oriented, but also supportive). They will also teach you how to love yourself and focus on the right things without wasting time on useless stuff. They'll probably crack you open, and change you inside out.
song: halo | beyoncé
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pile 2
This may be someone in the spotlight or someone successful, someone that has to deal with other people and talk with them. Someone that communicates/talks a lot. Someone also quite confident and elegant (at least their energy is). They may be also positive and energetic, very bright and caring smile. For some of you we're talking about a colleague/boss, for others about a partner, for others... this is your future baby (who they'll become). This person is someone nurturing/caring or that you'll feel like nurture a lot. Your connection will be very healing too and will bring prosperity to both of you. I think, especially if you're gonna work together (you may be colleagues and partners too. I do think this connection will resonate with job -maybe the way you meet or what you need to do together too- a lot), you'll be able to reach a very important milestone/public success. This is someone that follows their heart very often, and probably someone you're destined to meet. You won't miss them though, as they seem pretty out and about or known. I think they may stop functioning when they first meet you -suddenly- (or it could also be you the one to stop functioning with them or at least not being able to articulate your words very well: they may be hot too or it can be their presence to make you feel a bit overwhelmed). You may have also dreamt of each other which may add to the surprise. This person is also someone patient (they do not rush things), someone you may meet at the right time (divine timing) and someone that loves a lot (not just you, but humanity) and may be liked/loved a lot (also by you ofc). They'll teach you about love too probably. This may also be someone reflective and that will make you proud and happy in some way (be it just help you/support in your job), or will try to. (For some of you: this could even be a delivery guy or someone working in a pub or something like that; for others they may be a life coach or work in a big agency or organization)
-you may be called by pile 4 too-
song: if i ain't got you | alicia keys
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pile 3
Here we have someone passionate but also sweet and pure. Someone joyful too. They may be younger than you, or more connected to their inner child or even be your future child. This is also someone smart in their own way. Someone that will bring healing to you or a specific part of you. Similar to pile 2 but also very differently. I see someone less connected to work and more to having fun. A real "child" (no offence, not in a bad way... just a very positive and hopeful/happy energy. Puppy-like, yes -it could be your pet?). You may give birth to something with this person, it could even be a different version of you or a job/hobby/idea (that may work on a bigger scale to help others too) or... indeed it could be you're giving birth to your child as they may be your future partner (I get a more feminine energy from them but ofc it doesn't have to be a woman). For some of you this may be someone you'll need to take care of. Someone you will have to protect and maybe teach something to (maybe your student or a patient, if you're a doctor/therapist or something). And they'll teach you something back. They seem to be very good at pondering, despite looking very impulsive and dreamy at first, they do have a very deep working mind, they understand things fast. They may help you understand or see soemthing in a different way. Very witty energy. They too still have a lot to learn and they're aware of that, but they're not worried: they'll learn when it's time. Maybe you'll learn this from them too. They'll bring stability and emotional balance in you (you may be able to balance each other well), or you'll have to find it in order to help them. You'll probably have to work on something together, especially if you both tend to fantasize or idealize something (or they do more than you): you'll find a way to bring your/their feet back on the ground by working together. It may be someone difficult to reach/connect with at first, it will probably require a bit more effort but you'll make it and build a very fruitful connection for both.
song: fetish | selena gomez, gucci mane
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pile 4
This person may be someone pretty organized and neat, someone you may share a soul connection with and probably have spent many life with them too. I think this is someone you had to reincarnate with and will meet to complete something and start something new (it could be about your personal life too). For this reason I guess it can be a romantic partner, but also a platonic one or a boss/colleague/guide of some kind. Someone you need to meet anyway. They'll bring change in your life (I feel someone may be called by pile 2 as well), and will help you grow emotionally and also be more yourself, trust yourself more. This is a long-term connection or something that will start as this anyway, something that will help you both and bring you both something positive, even appreciation from others (even in a "you've changed" way). Especially if you've been alone for most of your life and felt this way, this person is gonna be the one bringing you healing and changing this situation. They'll come in suddenly in your life in a pretty boldly way and teach you happiness and joy, and (unconsciously) how to get over all the self sabotaging/self doubt/self lacks/self anything habits you may have (maybe you'll be scared to actually be worthy of them or something like that, maybe fear being abandoned or just trying to push them away/idealize stuff a bit too much and try to avoid being present/real). There could be codependency tbh from any of you (more likely you). They'll bring stability in your life and probably make it turn 180° from how it is at the moment you'll meet. And it feels a fated meeting that you cannot imagine about. Again I do feel you will have to meet for a reason, which is doing something together, be it working on something (job/child/self... as resonates, more likely work on yourself though) or -more likely- on yourselves as people (especially you: for a few of you, I think this person may act in a negative way and help you open your eyes on what is not working in how you see yourself and let others treat you: you'll make a turn thanks to them and build much more confidence and boundaries). I think you may need to learn to receive, and they will help you in this in a way or another (especially if your past relationships -of any type, not just romantic but even family ones- have been pretty bad as it seems/feels like).
song: like i do | tracee elliss ross, kelvin harrison jr
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ivestas · 1 year
Note
Thank you for writing my request, I loved it!! I have another idea but it's a deeper subject so I understand not everyone is comfortable with writing about it. Could you write about a younger reader and the team see self harm wounds and scars while they were injured or while they were changing? (Something along those lines) and what they would do/ react? Xx
what is most precious to you?
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Summary: The 141 discover a part of you that you’d wanted to bury.
Tags: TW s/elf harm scars + sui/cide and talk of it, please read carefully/don't read if this topic triggers you, platonic!141 x medic!fem!reader, reader implied to be mentally ill, younger!reader, descriptions of blood and injury, canon typical violence, soap + ghost focused, unedited
Word count: 1.5k
Notes: im glad u enjoyed the previous req anon! i hope I'm able to do this req justice too 🫡
You’d been a part of the 141 long enough for the others to know and trust you.
An esteemed medic that knew medicine and all things fixing like the back of her hand, despite your age—it was a natural skill, it seemed. Your hands were always so damn fast with a gauze—hell, even a dirty rag you’d make use of in an instant. 
You were just good. Reliable. Consistent. Seemingly just a normal young lady whose only eccentricity was the job she chose to be: a medic for a merc group. 
Soap often liked to joke about that normalcy that clung onto you. 
“Bet when you’re on leave you work a 9 to 5 and sleep right at 8. I’m right, aren’t I?”
You snorted. “No, I’d sleep at 9.” 
“Ohhhhh, daring! Don’t be too crazy! Ya might just lose a leg!” 
Even Ghost would sometimes jump in, adding his own joke occasionally. 
“Should I get you a planner for your birthday? A nice, minimalist one with neutral stickers to match.”
You’d scoff and jab back, whether it be at Ghost’s mask or Soap’s current and past hair-styles.
But they never gave you a tough time about it—they were glad that one of them was able to blend back to civvy life with ease. 
Price even said it was his favorite trait—”sometimes, you need the practicality and mindset of a normal lady to get shit done.”
“Thanks?” 
The guys all had a similar image of what your childhood was like: middle-class, parents all stiff-like and old-timey, your favorite hobbies probably were things like football or reading, things like that. 
However, that image shattered during a post-mission intermission. 
Things went wrong, completely askew—the enemies were clearly prepared for the attack, because landmines were everywhere and the area was crawling with hostiles.
It was a resounding loss—many casualties, wounded, etc. 
You could hardly keep up, trying to patch up as many as possible, even when the sky rained of bullets and the air tasted thickly of gunpowder and death. It was like a place between purgatory and hell, a constant flow of shouts, screams, explosions.
It was too late for you to noticed a bullet grazed your arm; it was deep enough to be visible, but luckily it wasn’t aimed low enough for it to shoot into your arm. 
You had ignored the wound—in your mind, it only made sense to focus on the soldiers who were fighting for their lives and riddled with bullet wounds. 
So you just did that: focus on them. 
But, due to the constant movement and strain, the graze only worsened, almost tearing. The adrenaline numbed the pain, but you knew it was gonna hurt like a bitch soon enough. 
Luckily though, Ghost shouted in your ear through the comms. 
“Bravo-1, retreat!—fuckin’ hell—everyone, retreat!”  
You did just that—retreat. 
Huffing and puffing, you were quick to run to the distant chopper you recognized as the 141′s. A haze of sand was the only saving grace as it covered you from the enemies direct line of sight.
Soap pulled you into the helicopter with a quick grab of your wrist, completely unaware of the graze that arm sustained. You let out a sharp hiss of pain, feeling the skin tear just a little more. 
The entrance of the helicopter shut, and with both of you heaving, the plane finally shot back into the air, rocking back and forth the slightest bit. The sound of bullets slowly melted away into harsh whirring and mechanical buzz. 
You took a moment to collect yourself, inhaling sharply before you got up, arm still bleeding. 
But, strangely, you felt it drip along your arm and into your hand, running along your finger—ah, it should’ve been obvious, the sleeve of your wounded arm had completely torn. 
You lifted the arm, examining the wound. 
Scars of varying sizes, textures, and freshness—some having strange bubbly dots, others consisting of messy lines. Some of the fresher scars had torn a little, causing thin lines or red to rise. 
Your blood ran cold. You glance up, hoping—praying—that Soap didn’t see, or even understand the implications. 
But you could see he was staring, the cogs in his mind slowly snapping together. 
You put your arm away to your side, hiding it from his view. 
“Lass—“
“I need a medkit. We have one on the plane?” 
You loathed the look of sadness, of pity that shone in his eyes, pulled at the muscles of his face. 
Don’t. Stop.
I’m not weak. Don’t—I’m not weak! 
A chorus of words, feelings, of palpable dark was what filled your mind now. Insecurity, self-hatred, all of it—you’d been working on it, trying to regulate, to reason with the miasma that had taken ahold of your consciousness.
But, fuck, you’ve revealed it to Soap of all people—he felt bad, didn’t he? Disgusted? Worried? He was gonna tell Price, wasn’t he? That your unfit for the 141, that—
A hand rested on the top of your shoulder.
“Can I patch you up?” Soap asked softly. 
You grit your teeth. Moving away from his hand, you shook your head, glaring at the floor. A small splatter of blood was there. “I can fix it myself.” 
You expected—wanted—him to berate you. 
But he didn’t. He was kind. 
“Sure, kid. I’ll just get ya the med kit—stay put.” 
Another wave of shame rocked you. You sat on one of the small seats connected to the walls of the heli, rubbing away the small bits of dried blood. 
Consumed by your thoughts, you didn’t hear Soap murmuring to Ghost. 
“The kid—she, ah...” He ran a finger along his wrist. “Catch my drift?” 
“Cutting herself?” Ghost said bluntly. 
“Sometimes I wish you had a little more tact, L.T.” 
Ghost ignored him. “They fresh or old?”
“Both,” he sighed, grabbing a med kit from one of the plane’s various compartments. “What’re we supposed to do? Don’t wanna scare off the kid, but don’t wanna leave her on her own devices hacking away at ‘erself!” 
Ghost grabbed the kit from his hands. “I’ll handle this. You sit down—go near the Captain. Try to leave us some privacy.” 
Hesitantly, Soap nodded. “Work your magic, sir.” 
Ghost made his way to the other end of the helicopter where you were. You were hunched over your wound, a deep frown on your face. It’s uncharacteristic, but he knew it was a part of yourself you’d prefer to be shrouded in dark. Suffering wasn’t a nice look, was it?
But it was human. Denying your own right to feel it—it made Ghost frown too.
He sat beside you, kit in his hand. You had finally looked up then, alarmed. 
“Gimme your arm, kid.” 
You opened your mouth.
“Not leavin’ till I patch your arm up, so don’t even try.” 
Shamefully, you lifted your arm slowly. 
He took it with gentle but firm hands, a thumb running along a faint scar. 
Ghost opened the kit haphazardly with another hand. 
“When I was your age—maybe a little younger—couldn’t find much meaning in everything.”
He lifted his hand from your arm and grabbed alcohol and a small cotton rag. Dampening the rag with alcohol, he drew it to your arm, rubbing away the excess blood and cleaning the wounds. You didn’t make any noise, only breathing raggedly. 
“The suffering was pointless, in my eyes; thought, ‘this isn’t bloody fair’. Born in a shitty house with a shitter father, food hardly ever on the table, my mind deteriorating, and the world cast in deep gray.”
You nodded. 
Ghost grabbed a bandage gauze, unravelling it and wrapping it gently around the graze and the scars. It was calming, watching him work away, even if the wrapping was a little clumsy. 
“The harsh reality came a little while later, and it’s that people like me—us—we gotta work hard for shit to change. That this weight forced upon us, it’s only we that can shed it off. It’s still not fair—frankly, suicide is easier. Thought of doing it for the longest time... But...” 
He shook his head. “In my eyes, it’s a coward’s way out. We should never die by our own hands—there’s always something to live for.”
“What are you living for?” 
“Mmmm.... For tomorrow’s pint.” 
You laughed. 
He grabbed a safety pin and pinned the end of the gauze. “...now, I know it’s ‘silly’ to say, but you know we’re here for you?—the 141′s got your back, kid—how about this, let’s make a deal.”
“Yeah?” 
“You ever have the urge to cut yer arm, you come straight to me, or the others. They’ll listen. They care.”
They care.  
It’s weird, but hearing the words said out loud, it hit you. 
They really care. 
You took in a shaky breath. “Thank... you.” 
“It’s no problem at all, kid. Stay strong.”
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AO3
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Requests are open
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starhoppin · 6 months
Text
pick a picture; what makes you different from your future spouse's previous partners
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pile 1 -> pile 2 -> pile 3
disclaimer; this is a general reading! these messages may not fit everyone. please take what resonates and leave the rest.
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「 pile one」
temperance rv (cb: death, the chariot), king of cups (cb: the magician, six of swords rv), strength rv (cb: wheel of fortune, two of cups rv)
one thing that makes you different from your future spouse's previous partners is that you're willing to work on the relationship. specifically, you're willing to work on yourself. your future spouse may have dated people in the past who always made promises that they'd change their behavior if it was hindering their relationship, but they never actually followed through with their promises. however, you will immediately start implementing those changes because you understand the importance of your connection. you're also emotionally mature/balanced. you've worked through your problems and won't allow the past to affect your relationship with your future spouse. they may have dated people who have brought emotional baggage into their relationship. because you differ in that aspect, there is a lack of confusion in your connection. your future spouse may have also dated people who suffer from self-doubt issues that ultimately put a strain on the relationship. specifically, their self-doubt manifested as jealousy and caused them to be controlling of your future spouse. whilst you have a healthy self-esteem which leads you to talk through potential problems with your future spouse instead of resorting to those measures.
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「 pile two」
two of pentacles (cb: seven of swords, the lovers), eight of wands (cb: judgement, ten of pentacles), ten of wands rv (king of swords rv, eight of swords)
first thing that i heard was "one true love." i think your future spouse may have dealt with cheating or dishonest partners in the past. however, you are their person; their partner and equal in every way. you and your future spouse are very open with each other. i heard "dream team" lol. you work together through challenges. you are partners in every meaning of the word. i cannot emphasize enough how much this person cares about you. it's like any words i choose just fall flat and don't do justice to their feelings. you're different from their previous relationships in terms of passion. you sparked something in them; you're everything in this person's eyes. their previous partners are nothing compared to you. your future spouse's previous partners may have played mind games with them, leaving them stressed out and burdened. but you aren't like that. you're clear with your intentions and don't mess around when it comes to your connection.
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「 pile three」
page of wands rv (page of cups, three of cups), the emperor (cb: ten of cups, the moon rv), the star (cb: the magician rv, five of cups)
your future spouse's previous partners may have been solely interested in the physical aspects of their connection. however, you're different because you're interested in the emotional aspects. your future spouse views you as both their best friend as well as their partner. you fulfill this person completely. they may not have had a traditional "relationship" until they meet you - perhaps, flings/situationships/failed talking stages, etc, but never really connected with anyone on a deep emotional level. i'm getting that they never really felt like they could open up to someone until they met you. you made your future spouse believe in love again. they may not have had the best of luck in terms of romance which left them disillusioned. you reignited their passion and desire to pursue a relationship.
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tarot deck used in this reading: cirque du tarot
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lilyway · 3 months
Text
Icarus {Alastor x Reader} Part 1
Warnings: Blood, Gore, Death and canon-typical violence. Please be aware of these warnings going forward.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Sequel
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Part 1: The Road Back to You
The town was cloaked in a dimly lit embrace as a young woman emerged from the confines of the jazz club alongside her coworkers. Their rising star, a vision of elegance and charm, illuminated the night with her radiant smile, her presence akin to that of a belle of the ball, her heart as vibrant as the melodies she sang.
As they stepped onto the cobblestone streets, the camaraderie among them blossomed into animated chatter, punctuated by laughter that danced upon the evening breeze.
Tonight was special, a rare occasion when the jazz club closed its doors early to commemorate the birthday of their esteemed boss. The air buzzed with anticipation, the promise of celebration lingering in every corner as they made their way through the labyrinthine streets.
Their songstress was quick as she pulled her purse to her side and started walking away while saying her goodbyes. She had some very important plans with her husband, perhaps she was too excited as she practically skipped her way down the street. 
As she traversed the dimly lit street of New Orleans, she couldn't shake the nagging sense of caution that gnawed at the edges of her consciousness. The presence of a serial killer, a phantom lurking in the shadows, cast a long shadow over the once-vibrant city. 
Each night, as she tuned in to her husband's somber voice on the radio, recounting the grim details of yet another victim claimed by the darkness, she couldn't help but wonder if she, too, danced perilously close to the edge of danger.
The danger that would come and soon claim her own life to their ever-increasing number of victims. But, there would be nothing in the world to stop her from returning to her husband. Her husband said he had something planned for their anniversary and that she would need her best dress. 
She was beyond excited.
"(Name)! Sugar, are you sure I can’t give you a lift home?" Rowan's voice called out from the doorway, his Southern drawl carrying the warmth of a bourbon-soaked evening. (Name) turned, her smile as dazzling as a string of pearls, her curls bouncing with the rhythm of a Charleston beat.
"Thank you kindly, Rowan! My husband will be meeting me halfway," She replied, her words dripping with honey. With a graceful wave, she turned on her heel, the click-clack of her heels blending with the syncopated melody of the night as she made her way toward the radio station.
The dim glow of the radio station beckoned in the distance, the building was a beacon of safety amidst the dark empty city streets. With each hurried step, (Name)'s heart quickened, the anticipation of her husband's waiting embrace urging her onwards. 
As she rounded the corner, her gaze caught sight of the alleyway, a narrow passage veiled in darkness, where the plaintive cries of a woman pierced the stillness of the night. Without hesitation, without a second thought, she veered from her path, drawn by her concern for the unknown woman.
There, amidst the shadows, she found them – a young girl, trembling with fear, and her mother shielding her from a group of thugs that loomed over them. 
She should have turned away, and retreated to the safety of the main street, where she could’ve asked for help. Her husband knew his way around self-defense and they would have a phone to call the police.
But (Name) had a terrible feeling in her gut. If she left them now, these women might not be alive when help arrives. 
"What do you gents reckon you're up to?" That seemed to get their attention as they turned to face her. As she walked towards the two women, she couldn’t help feeling so small as the men dwarfed her in size.
"Turn back, doll," one of the men jeered, his tone dripping with menace. "We ain't lookin' for trouble."
(Name) positioned herself between the two trembling women and the menacing thugs, her heart pounding with a mixture of fear and determination. "Leave these poor dames be! If it's coin you're after, I can see you compensated," Her declaration must have seemed like a bluff. Her voice quivered as she placed one hand on her purse. 
The thugs, their laughter echoing in the narrow alley, closed in on her, their intentions clear as the moonlight filtered through the darkness. "This ain't about the scratch, sweetheart," one of them sneered, the glint of malice dancing in his eyes. (Name)'s breath caught in her throat as she took a cautious step back, her resolve tested by the looming threat that surrounded her. "This is about settlin' scores."
"Please, just let them be," (Name) pleaded, but her words fell upon deaf ears, drowned out by their laughter. Their leader pulled out a blade as he approached the crying women. 
Before she could react, one of the men seized her arm in a vice-like grip, wrenching her aside with a savage force. "Just watch, my dear," Another man sneered, his voice dripping with malice as (Name) struggled against his hold. 
With a surge of adrenaline, (Name) pushed his hand toward her mouth, her teeth sinking into flesh with a ferocity that seemed downright foreign to her. As he howled in agony, she wrenched herself free from his grasp, her heart was beating loudly in her chest and she wasn’t thinking straight. 
With trembling hands, she lunged toward their assailant, her fingers grappling for purchase upon the blade. The metal bit into her skin, drawing blood, but she was beyond desperate, driven to protect the helpless young women. 
“Run!” (Name) shouted as they stared at her like deers in headlights. 
Even as she fought with every fiber of her being, the odds stacked against her, (Name) refused to yield. She could feel the sharp sting of pain as the blade cut into her hands, but she pressed on, fueled by sheer determination and the fierce resolve to survive.
Meanwhile, the two women forced themselves to their feet and ran, their cries for help echoing through the alleyway. (Name) couldn’t help but feel a smirk on her lips, before another man pulled her hair back trying to claw her hands away from the blade. 
With every ounce of strength she could muster, she battled against the relentless onslaught, her hands slick with sweat and blood as she grappled for control. But in the end, it was a futile struggle, a desperate fight that meant nothing. As the assailant's blade found its mark, plunging deep into her flesh. 
As (Name)’s body fell to the ground, there was the sound of fleeing footsteps and gunfire. All she could do was close her eyes and pray the pain went away. All she could do was lay there and feel her blood pool around her as she choked on the blade as her blood suffocated her lungs. 
She was so close to seeing her beloved radio host too. 
The sound of footsteps running towards her and her name came after. The voice was too distant to hear as she drifted off and prayed she’d see her beloved radio host when she woke up. 
💟
As (Name)'s eyes fluttered open, she found herself standing before majestic golden gates, their brilliance illuminating the ethereal surroundings with a celestial glow. A wave of disbelief washed over her as she pushed herself up, half-expecting to feel the sting of pain or the weight of wounds that should have marked her body. But there was nothing – no trace of blood, no lingering ache – only a sense of surreal tranquility that enveloped her being.
Clad in a flowing white dress reminiscent of the ones she wore during her performances at the jazz club, her hair cascading down her back like a river of silk, she realized at the start that this was no hospital. It wasn’t a place that could be built by man and that started to make her panic. 
"Where am I?" Her voice trembled with uncertainty as she spoke aloud, her eyes searching the expanse before her. And then, as if in response to her query, an angelic figure with a thick book turned towards her, his presence confirmed her fears. This wasn’t New Orleans. 
"You're in heaven! Congratulations, you're a winner!" His words, spoken with pride and joy, hung in the air like a gentle breeze, filling the space with a sense of awe and wonder. But for (Name), the revelation struck like someone poured ice water all over her. 
"No. No. No, no, no, no." Her voice cracked as felt her legs turn to jelly. This was not a dream, not a figment of her imagination – she was dead. She died saving those two women on the eve of her anniversary. “I wasn’t supposed to die like this! I have to go back! My husband! Good heavens, I’m not ready to leave him yet…” Her begging seemed to have no effect as the angel got up out of his chair. 
(Name)’s tears seemed to touch the man, but it didn’t faze him whatsoever. “This is the end of the road, miss. There’s only joy from here.” 
"Please, let me go back!" Her plea, filled with anguish and longing, echoed through the hallowed halls of heaven, a desperate cry for a second chance, for a return to the life she had been torn away from. As she crumpled to the ground, her hands pressed against her tear-streaked face, she grappled with the cruel irony of her fate – a life snuffed out in the blink of an eye.
As (Name) crumpled before the gates of Heaven, her sobs seemed to never end. "Please, let me return to my old life," she implored, her voice choking on her despair of dying so easily. 
"Shh, my dear," came the gentle reply, a soothing murmur amidst the tumult of her anguish.
"I'm begging you. Let me go back," she persisted, her voice trembling with a fervent plea for a reprieve, for a chance for a rewrite, for her to choose something different. 
"I'm sorry, but that's not possible. This is the end of the road, the culmination of the life you were promised for all the good you've done in this world," the angel explained, his tone tinged with a solemn finality that brooked no argument.
"Let me see my husband! I haven't said goodbye!" (Name)'s words, tinged with desperation, hung in the air like a prayer unanswered, her heart aching for one last embrace, one final moment of solace in the arms of her beloved.
"Again, I'm sorry. But that isn't possible, "The angel replied, his voice tinged with sympathy. "But, may I ask your name?"
"(Name)," she replied, her voice barely a whisper as she pulled herself up off the floor. 
"Full name, please," the angel persisted, his gaze unwavering, as he started flipping through the book and sighed at all the names on the page. 
"(Name) Winters," she confessed, her last name was a reminder of happier days. The day she joined her husband's family and took on his last name. 
With a gentle rustle of pages, the angel consulted the book before him, his expression softening as he found her name inscribed upon its hallowed pages. "There you are, on the list," he confirmed, his voice tinged with reassurance. "Dry your tears, my dear, and come on in."
"But, my husband-" (Name) was quickly interrupted by the angel. 
"He might show up in heaven someday," the angel offered, “As long as he doesn’t end up in hell. There’s a chance he might come back.” 
As (Name) gazed upon the gates of Heaven, her heart was heavy, wanted to be able to greet him with a smile. “Okay.” 
💟
The celestial streets of heaven bustled with the vibrant energy of joyous winners, their laughter and song echoing through the golden expanse. Yet, amidst the revelry, (Name) found herself perched on her rooftop, a quiet observer of the lively scene below. Today, the usual melodies and dance numbers failed to lift her spirits. 
As she leaned over the balcony, the celestial breeze playing with her hair, (Name) contemplated the passage of time, and how meaningless it truly was. There was no sense of actual time in this place. She would’ve been here for a week or twenty years. 
How long had she been in this place of eternal bliss? The passing of time seemed to blur into an endless expanse of moments, each one blending seamlessly into the next. Her parents had found their way here, as had her little sister, their laughter and love echoing through the hallowed halls of heaven. 
And yet, her brothers remained conspicuously absent, their absence a silent ache that gnawed her. Enough time must have gone by for them to show up. They couldn’t have ended up anywhere else other than in heaven! They were around the same age as her husband and would come up around the same time. 
As she leaned over the balcony, the angels below danced and sang of pastries and delights, their voices like honeyed nectar amidst the gentle breeze. But for (Name), their songs felt hollow, their melodies unable to penetrate the veil of sorrow that pulled her under. 
Even in her sorrow, there was a little flame of hope that flickered brightly. Perhaps, she thought, a song could indeed work wonders, lifting her from the depths of her melancholy.
As (Name)'s voice trembled with emotion, her words carried her pain along the wind. "I never needed anybody in my life, " As the notes danced upon the wind, images flickered in her mind.
Her husband's brown fluffy hair, tousled by the gentle breeze, his charismatic smile lighting up the streets as they walked arm in arm. How her days were bright and simple back then. With the minor inconveniences and the small pleasures it held. 
"I learned the truth too late, " she continued, her voice wavered as the tears threatened to fall. With each verse, the distance between them felt like an impassable chasm, one that would pull her into its lonely depths. 
As she pulled herself away from the edge of the balcony, her eyes remained fixed upon the golden gates. How she was starting to despise herself and her self-pity here. 
Her words became a lament, a melody of longing and her pain as she wished for her old life back. " I close my eyes but he's still there, " Her voice trembling as the image of her beloved husband materialized before her. 
He was bathed in a golden light making him appear as a gift from God himself. She craned her neck up to look at him and there was a surge of hope. (Name) reached out to hold him and cry into his arms. Only to watch him vanish in the wisp of glowing smoke at the smallest touch of her fingertips. 
“Even as he fades from view,” Her voice quickly got louder with every passing syllable. 
You’re never fully dressed without a smile, my dear. His voice echoed loud and clear in her mind as she forced a smile on her face as the tears forced themselves out. "He will still inspire me, and be a part of everything I do," 
As she pulled herself onto the balcony railing, her wings unfurled and she jumped off the edge. She watched the other winners sing and dance below her as they enjoyed their eternal life. However, (Name) had another plan in mind. She set out for the gates as she stumbled her landing as she arrived. 
"Wasting in my lonely tower, awaiting by an open door," she sang, her voice rising like a prayer into the heavens above. And as she reached out towards the gates, her fingers brushed against the gilded bars, and her small flicker of hope died instantly. 
There wasn’t anyone at the gates and she was just being delusional. He wasn’t coming up here anymore. That her dear, Al was still back on earth and it was a place (Name) wished he stayed. 
"I'll fool myself and he'll walk right in," she whispered, her voice breaking as she tried to maintain some level of internal harmony. Her hands clung to the bars hoping the gates would open and let her out. Just five more minutes on earth and she would gladly join the rest of the winners.  “Waiting here for evermore…”  
But her solitude was shattered by the harsh voice of an angel, her words cutting through the silence like a blade. "You're pathetic," she sneered, her tone dripping with disdain. "If he isn't here by now, he's in hell."
"That was quite uncalled for.” (Name) spat as she walked past her. She could tell this woman had something up her sleeve and she wanted no part of it. 
“I call it as I see it,” the woman retorted, her voice dripping with disdain. No, that wasn’t right. This woman was downright looking down at her like she was a piece of garbage. 
(Name) scoffed as she tried to keep herself focused on just walking away. “Aren’t you a ray of sunshine.” 
“Better than singing her problems,” The woman shot back, her words stabbed daggers into her feet and rooted her in place. 
(Name) crossed her arms, she was getting fed up and there wasn’t a point in picking a fight in heaven. “You're quite the piece of work, aren't you? Do you need something?”
The woman’s response was curt. “No.”
“Okay, I'll be on my way then,” (Name) replied, her steps quickening. Yet, she couldn’t shake the feeling of the woman’s eyes boring into her back. “What do you want?”
But before she could receive an answer, the woman’s voice taunted her, sending a shiver down her spine. “With that obsession of yours, there’s only one place you’ll end up.”
(Name) wished that her voice didn’t shake and give her away. She didn’t want to kiss her place in heaven goodbye for her stupidity. “What are you saying?” 
“You look like you need a purpose.” 
“I don't need a purpose,”
The woman laughed as (Name) felt a chill going down her spine. "The rate you’re going, you won’t need one and burn with the rest of the sinners in hell."
"I earned my place here," (Name) countered, her voice trembling, as she tried to keep herself from shaking. She couldn’t ever go to hell and become a fallen angel. 
"Keep telling yourself that,"
(Name)'s mind raced with questions, her unease growing with each passing moment. "What are you getting at?" she demanded, her voice betraying a hint of desperation. She wouldn’t ever end up there. 
"I'm offering you a deal,"
"I don't want it,"
"Suit yourself, but you'll be back. Come and find me when you've run out of options," With her business done, the woman took to the skies and (Name) shouted for her to wait. 
She didn’t mean to yell her question at her. “If that ever happens. What's your name? So, I can find you.” 
“Lute.” 
💟
Another decade passed in heaven and (Name)’s search for her husband and some clue of his whereabouts were fruitless. Every passing year that she searched a small part of her died, first few years it was her hope and later it was her love. (Name) having to come up empty-handed every single time took its toll. 
In the quiet moments of solitude, (Name) grappled with the bitter truth that her love may never return to her side. The echoes of his laughter and the warmth of his embrace seemed like distant memories, fading into the recesses of her mind like whispers carried away by the wind.
In her solitude, came the truths she refused to face. That her soul was becoming consumed by her envy and prayers to see him again. She longed to feel his presence once more, to hear his voice echoing through the golden streets of paradise. There was something about being condemned to paradise without all your loved ones that was driving her insane. When did he become her world? When did she corrupt her pure unconditional love for him? Why was she so hung up on him even now? 
Alastor,  her dear husband. 
Her beloved husband and her world. He would never come, and her prayers wouldn’t be answered. Alastor would forever be beyond her reach and never be someone she could hold again. 
Alastor would never come, because he was in hell. As much as she refused to believe it or admit it. Deep down? She knew. Her husband was being tortured in hell for reasons that were foreign to her. 
Alastor would never be here. He would never come. (Name) would never hear him play his piano as she sang or snuggle up to him when he read the morning paper. Or touch his hair and wear his glasses. 
He was in the worst place now and that was final. The place that tortured those who lived vile lives. A pit with killers, cannibals, terrorists, and abusers. 
She wanted nothing more than to forget. 
Which lead her here, in front of the Exorcist’s main building with a meeting in place with Lute. She did her homework and quickly learned she was a fearsome fighter. But, more importantly, she was Adam’s right hand. 
She did exactly what Lute said she would do. (Name) would come back for that deal. She would screw everything she had ever hoped to do here. As long as Lute would give her a purpose and a method to prevent her from falling to hell. 
(Name) was going to take that damn deal. 
And so, with a heavy heart and a steely resolve, (Name) made her decision. She would embrace the deal offered by Lute, no matter the cost. She would forsake everything she had ever known, everything she had ever hoped to become, in exchange for a chance at redemption.
Her heart ached as she pushed the doors open and saw Lute and Adam awaiting her. Adam looked bored as she ate his lunch and Lute seemed to have a wicked grin on her face. 
"Took you long enough," Lute might have been grinning, but her tone was anything but one of joy. She seemed more annoyed than anything else.
(Name) straightened her posture as she held her hands tightly.  “You said you had a deal for me.” 
"The deal to prevent you from becoming a loser?" Lute sneered,
"No," (Name) retorted, her gaze narrowing. "Make a deal with me to forget him."
A wicked grin spread across Lute's face, sending shivers down (Name)'s spine. "I'm going to enjoy breaking you," she declared, her eyes glittering with malevolent intent as she extended her gloved hand toward (Name).
With a deep breath, (Name) reached out and grasped Lute's hand in a firm shake, sealing her fate. There was no turning back now, no retreat from the path she had chosen. She knew the road ahead would be fraught with peril and pain, but she was willing to endure it all if it meant escaping the clutches of damnation.
It was a price she’d pay willingly if she could avoid joining the ranks of the sinners. 
"Deal," Her voice was one of determination as her heart wept at her decision. 
"Welcome to the exorcists,"
(Name) offered a silent nod of gratitude as she clenched her hands into her dress for something to calm her nerves. She had picked her fate and would find herself in the care of these two sadistic angels. But, she wouldn’t let herself be down on the first step of her journey. 
“It’s a pleasure to be here.” 
There was no going back now,
No escape that she was willing to take. 
The only escape was forsaking her place in heaven. 
And she would rather have a permanent death. 
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This was cross posted on A03!
The song she sings is Evermore from Beauty and the Beast from the live action.
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aidansloth · 4 months
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Coffee and Chamomile
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Summary: Hitoshi can’t sleep (again) so he decides to get up and make himself some good-ass coffee ‘cause he’s smart. When he reaches the common room, he realizes he’s not the only one who wanted a hot beverage.
Warnings/Things to keep in mind: slight hurt/comfort, swearing, suggested low self-esteem on Shinsou’s side and some dirty jokes because they’re teens. And adorably cute. Reader is referred to as they/them or ‘you’, this takes place in the dorms and Shinsou is part of Class 1-A (or 2-A, whatever you want). Also I don’t remember perfectly the layout of the dorms so pretend. I’m not up to date with the episodes (stuck on season 4) so please no spoilers! Last disclaimer: this is KIND OF self-indulgent and I’m autistic so if you think the reader is acting weird, that’s why.
Words: 2.3k
Posted this on AO3 too! You can find it here.
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2:38am
Hitoshi turned in his sheets, covers uncomfortably sticking to his form as he sank his face into the scrunched-up pillow.
3:04am
An exasperated groan escaped his lips, half suffocated by the cushion; his arms wide around the mattress and his breathing deep and empty.
3:29am
That’s it. He’s getting up and making himself some damn coffee or whatever the others left in that poor kitchen. His sheets are hurled carelessly as his feet instinctively find their place in his cat-shaped slippers. Trying not to make too much noise (an act he had mastered by now) he opened the door and made his way to the common room. His phone, used as a make-shift torch guided him across the corridors; as he got closer and closer he noticed light becoming brighter, when he finally reached his destination the realization dawned on him. Someone else was up.
He quickly turned his phone-torch off before turning the corner, to find one of his new classmates dancing (or whatever that was) with their back turned to him, hands busy with what looked like a cup of tea.
It wasn’t long since he joined the Hero Course but he was starting to remember some names and whatever faces he didn't remember from the Sports Festival. Unfortunately, he wasn’t that good with names. No one talks to him anyways, why should he care?
While he did recognize you from behind he did not remember your name. You were nice to him, he thought. Nicer than the rest at least. That Denki guy seemed nice too- a bit too intense though. You lent him a pencil- or was it a tissue? No mind that, what was he gonna do now? Leave? No, you’ll turn around and notice him and think he was spying on you. Did you even want company? You seemed pretty busy. On the other hand it’s his common room too- but has he been there long enough to intrude on your private moment like that? He might not be here to make friends or be nice but that doesn’t mean he has to be an ass.
That’s when he realized you hadn’t noticed him yet. Ah. So aware of their surroundings for a hero.
He decided that grunting awkwardly was the best course of action. Bummer, you were wearing earphones. He tried a louder cough, but you only noticed him once you found yourself face to face with him. A loud curse left your lips and your hands instantly slammed against them as instinct. Hitoshi’s eyebrows raised and he pressed his lips together to suppress a chuckle. Good thing you placed your tea down earlier. Their eyes were now staring straight into his.
“Ehm- hi.” You licked your lips, saliva suddenly missing.
“Hi.” He managed to grunt out. Now this was awkward. He watched your eyes dart back and forward before settling back on him. He really wanted to say something, anything to get this uncomfortable feeling out but that little voice at the back of his head held him back.
“You here to make yourself some tea too?”
His mouth opened slightly, the careless innocence of the question taking him aback. Still, no words came out. He nodded. He actually wanted coffee but he didn’t think himself able to explain that through words now.
“Cool. I boiled extra water accidentally. What kind of tea did you want?” Your smile looked so genuine and again, careless. Like you didn’t think he was dangerous. Out of habit he was about to nod again but stopped in time to force some words out.
“Is there carcade?”
“Yep!” You were definitely too chipper for this hour in the morning. He tried not to think too much about the fact that you answered his question with no hesitation. He watched as you moved your hands swiftly along the mugs and tea bags, your movements rhythmic, like you do this a lot. In no time your teas were ready, so you placed yours in front of your stool and in front of his. Not that he sat down yet, no. His eyes were too busy watching you. The tea caught his attention quickly enough. Sitting down his hands snaked around the mug, his hoodie sleeves just a bit too long.
A string of silence hung.
“I guess we’re both awake for the same reason.” Hitoshi was glad his voice was back, though the ever-lingering anxiety stayed. He actually didn’t know why they were up but he thought this was a decent conversation starter. His gaze was too occupied marveling at the tea to notice your tilted head and dog-like expression.
“You’re writing fanfiction too?”
Well, he certainly wasn’t expecting that.
“Ehm- no- no I’m not.” Suddenly he felt weird and sorry he wasn’t writing fanfiction. His classmate nodded understandingly while taking another sip off their mug. Looking back at the kitchen island he felt particularly stupid for not noticing the laptop with an open Google Document page open. There was a small beat of awkward silence before the next sentence.
“Then why are you up?”
Ah. There it is. What was he supposed to respond now? Oh yeah, basically I have insomnia, meaning I get no hours of sleep and I do manage to miraculously fall asleep I’m awoken by nightmares and now, as our new guest of honor, the gracious sounds of the guys’ snoring which breaks the laws of time and space by getting across all those walls!
“Just- stuff.”
He thanked every god in the universe that they didn’t ask anything surrounding his very weird and suspicious answer but opted for a simple nod and a ‘cool’. Clinging his fingertips against the mug he realized he should try to keep the conversation going as well; you probably thought he didn’t want to talk to you with all his dry answers. His grip tightened and his teeth sank into his bottom lip.
“What- what is the fanfiction about?” He swore he never saw someone’s eyes light up faster, their lips immediately stretched into a painfully wide smile.
“Basically, you know ‘Lord of the Rings’, right? The fantasy book? There are these two characters, a dwarf and an elf. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, these two races have a really tough history which led to prejudice and hate on both sides. But for this certain world-saving quest they have to interact with each other, trust each other, you know? For the first quarter, maybe, of the quest they don’t get along very well. I mean, not trying to kill each other or anything, but petty threats and jokes are thrown around. At a certain point in their journey they have to take a break in this elven kingdom and by the end of it they are the best of friends! Now, I ship these two characters together, so, I’m writing a specific fanfic that takes place during their pause there and since Tolkien didn’t really go into detail with what they were doing during that time I have lots of creative freedom,”
Hitoshi’s lips pressed together as he watched them gesticulate their way through what could only be defined as a speech; his half-open eyes never left theirs while his chin rested on his hand. His eyes lingered from one feature of their face to another, still listening of course: he was good at that. Though his eyes may have lingered a moment too long on their lips.
“-not even mentioning their relationship later on at the end of ‘The Return of the King’, commenting on Minas Tirith’s architecture like a bunch of housewives! Really, in the middle of a war ‘This place needs more trees!’-” Their face dropped and Hitoshi’s heart with it. Did they notice him staring too much? He did that, didn’t he? Fuck. He made them uncomfortable-
“I’m sorry. I’m boring you.” They say huffing out a half-regretful chuckle. It nearly tricks him.
He stared just a little bit longer before talking.
“You’re not.”
He watched as their lips turned into an awkward smile, like they thought he only said it to be nice. The silence slowly crawled back. Hitoshi didn’t know what sudden urge slapped him in the face enough to have the courage to speak, but he did.
“Your voice is relaxing.” Good job asshole, now they think you’re a creep. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from your surprised one, which quickly turned into one of joy. And now he was blushing. Might as well dig my own grave with that one. Fingers tapped on mugs. Their mouths opened once, closed and then opened again.
“Do you mind if I- we move to the couch? I hate stools.”
“Sure- yeah.”
And moved to the couch they did. Fanfiction-writing long forgotten, they placed their teas on the small table in front of them; Hitoshi was surprised when they got blankets for the both of them and instinctively covered him too but he wasn’t about to complain about it. For a little while they sat in comfortable silence, only sounds of breathing and sips were heard. Just for a little while though. Until he noticed they kept yawning and their head dropping a bit every couple of seconds. His eyebrows scrunched up.
“You tired?”
“Meh, just a bit.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Why are you up? I mean, we’re not that busy right now with school, you could write during the day and not in the middle of the night. Unless you can’t sleep but it doesn’t look like you can’t.”
“Well-” They huffed out a smile. “-it’s not exactly about having time. It’s a bit more complicated. Like-” They exhaled again, squeezing their eyes shut and then reopening them. “There aren’t enough hours during the day to- to be. The whole day feels like a dread and the only thing I look forward to is those hours in the night where I can do anything I want without that senseless guilt. The night is the only time I feel free to be.”
Hitoshi stayed silent for a moment, elaborating every word meticulously.
“That’s- that’s-”
“Sad? Pathetic? Depressing?”
He chuckled. “I mean- a bit.” Their soft laughter mixed together. “What I meant to say was, that’s- relatable.” A simple shared look was enough to fill the silence between them.
“So, why are you up?” Before Hitoshi could excuse himself again they stopped him.
“Don’t you dare say ‘just stuff’ again to me, I just gave you a tear-ripping, punch-to-the-face, gut-wrenching speech.” With their index finger pointing at him he let out a soft laugh, though his eyes lost a bit of their shine for a second when he started speaking.
“I have insomnia.”
“Ah. So you got up to make yourself chamomile or something?”
“Well, I wanted to make myself some coffee.”
“Coffee?”
“Coffee.”
“And you let me make you tea, why?”
Hitoshi adjusted himself quickly and cleared his throat. “You looked happy.” He felt their eyes stare through his soul, he felt naked.
“Is this helping?” God thank you for changing the subject.
“Is what helping?”
“Talking.” He thought for a moment.
“Maybe. I’m not sure. Don’t usually talk to people.”
They smiled. “I noticed.” He grinned.
“Are you going to go back to sleep then? Well, not sleep- you get it.”
“Don’t know. This couch is very comfortable.”
“Oh yeah?” You said, raising your eyebrows with a shit-eating grin. A wide grin grew on his face and he let out a laugh.
“Yeah.” You nodded again.
“You know, I won’t get offended if you want to go back to sleep- or to your fanfiction.” He said.
You shook their head. “I’m fine here.”
He gulped, praying that the low light won’t show his blushing cheeks. Their conversation went on for another half an hour at least, Hitoshi couldn’t tell honestly. Their teas finished and mugs cold, they got up (mostly because they realized the time). Cups in the sink, they began talking again once Hitoshi yawned.
You chuckled. “Is my voice that relaxing?”
“Incredibly so.” He grinned seeing them laugh again. He cleared his throat.
“So, you going to sleep?” Hitoshi watched them as their shoulders dropped.
“Yeah- yeah, is that okay? I don’t mean to leave you alone but-”
“Yes- yes it’s fine don’t worry about me, I won’t die,” he grinned, his hands in his pockets “sleep, you need it.”
“Oh, and you don’t?”
“No, I’m like Batman.”
“Are you implying he doesn’t sleep because he calls himself Batman?- He’s not even- He doesn’t have super powers like that, you are aware-” Their soon-to-be ramble was interrupted by his laughter.
“Sorry, sorry, I’m not mocking, promise.” He bit his inside cheek, clenching and unclenching his fists in nervousness. “I just- like how passionate you are.”
“About Batman?”
“About Batman.” They looked at each other for a second before you nodded.
“Alright… Well, I’m off to bed. Nice slippers by the way.” Hitoshi grinned like a lovesick boy at your comment.
He nodded smiling and moved away a bit from the entrance of the corridor to let you pass. They smiled and wished each other a good night. It only took a few steps before you stopped and whipped around.
“Wait!” You ran and before he knew it they had plunged into him, his torso wrapped nicely within their arms. His body froze at first but quickly came back and wrapped his own arms around their frame. Hitoshi could feel his muscles relax. It wasn’t long before they moved away leaving an empty feeling in both of them.
“Goodnight!” They said and Hitoshi swore that was the sweetest smile he had ever had the luck of witnessing.
“Good- goodnight.”
As if he was able to sleep after that.
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Thank you for reading! Constructive criticism/advice is welcomed.
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dsycop · 9 days
Text
WHO TALKS SHIT ABOUT YOU ?
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PILE 1 : 2 people talk shit about you. A man and a woman. But the man's energy is more dominant. This person didn't get what they wanted from you, and it hurt this person's ego. He's extremely toxic. This person is a very shitty person. This person feels rejected by you. You may have shattered this person's "fake" self-esteem. This person may not see no as an answer. He may be jealous of your love life. This person thinks, "If I can't have you, no one can." He doesn't want someone else to come into your life and he doesn't want you to be happy with someone else, and this thought may be making him very angry. This person's sexual attraction to you is also very high. You're making this person's dick hard. This person is really obsessed with you and doesn't want you to be happy without them. This person is sending you negative energy. ( protect yourself 🛡) This person is very unhappy and wants you to be on the same level as him. This person feels a huge deficit. This person needs therapy.
The woman who talks shit about you is a very stupid person. This person may be comparing themselves to you. She's very insecure. This person is someone who feels inadequate. This person does not feel happy and peaceful. This person is someone who can't get what they want from the other masculine energy. This person wants to take your place. She wants to get attention like you. This person may be trying to look like you (especially in terms of appearance), this person is aware that the masculine energy wants you, and this makes them very uncomfortable. This person has been waiting for the masculine energy to forget you for a long time. This person thinks that you and masculine energy have a fateful connection, but they don't want it to happen.
WHAT THEY SAY: First of all, these people are stalking you. They were never pleased to see you happy and peaceful. You have abundance and you attract good things into your life, and these people attribute this to the fact that you are with a rich man. According to them, you have money because a rich man provides you with it. At the same time, they say that you don't care about love, you don't care about money. Your growth and healing of your emotional wounds has irritated these people (especially masculine energy) and they think you are in love with that rich man. And this causes a lot of pain to masculine energy. These people are constantly talking about you. Intentionally or unintentionally, they may be psychically attacking you. I suggest you protect yourself. 🛡🛡🛡🛡🛡
Significant Messages : "Obsessive","Self love", "Sl4t", 9, green, "Golddigger", phone.
SONGS :
Ellie Goulding - Love me like you do
Ariana Grande - Greedy
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PILE 2 : This person is a woman. This person talks shit about you because she has eyes on your man. This is similar to pile 1, but this person is more aggressive. This person may want to beat you up. You may have really bothered her a lot. She has pure hatred for you. She wants you out of the way. This person may be texting some people. This person wants you to break up with whoever you're with. (If you're not in a relationship, the person they like may like you.) This person may fall in love with masculine energy and wants to share these feelings. She doesn't want to hide her feelings anymore.
WHAT THEY SAY: Here I divide it into 2 groups. Group 1, if you currently have a lover, this person says that you are cheating on your lover and you are talking to other men and is trying to spread this rumor. Group 2, if you don't have a lover, this person says you're flirting with multiple men at the same time and they're all using you (?). And this person says that you are a stupid woman. This person wants things they say about you to spread. She wants the masculine energy to hear these. This person wants not only the masculine energy she likes, but all masculine energies to be alienated and disgusted by you. She wants to see you sad.
Significant Messages : "send nudes", glory, winner, bastard, flashes, toxic, power, "watch me", health.
SONGS :
Demi Lovato - Heart Attack
Beyonce - Jolene
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PILE 3 : If you're a woman, a man talks shit about you, if you're a man, a woman talks shit about you. This person feels stuck and is looking for help. You are out of this person's life. This person may be currently suffering from anxiety and money related problems. If you are a man, this person may have problems with fertility. This person can't accept you left them. After you left his / her life, his / her life was not the same as before. This person has options, but they want you. They had relationships after you, but he / she couldn't feel happy.
WHAT THEY SAY: He says you left him because of the money. He says you're immature. This person says you have an onlyfans account. He / She says you want to make money the easy way. This person also says that you are isolating yourself to avoid attracting attention. This person is saying that you are the reason your relationship ended.
Significant Messages : "move on", 12, nudes, wishing bad, flowers, "I'm holding on to you", "don't care", 4.
SONGS :
Selena Gomez - Heart wants what it wants
Harry styles - As it was
Limi - Best I ever had
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