#Olivia Benson angst

[ncis-nerd]

long cases

Ship: Olivia Benson x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, SA mention and description briefly, cuddling, pet names.

About: A case gone wrong leaves y/n upset and to make matters worse, y/n can relate to the case so she blames her self but her girlfriend, liv, provides a shoulder to cry on and consoles y/n.

"cmon baby, stop being so shy. it's just me. just mommy, sweetie. lemme see your pretty face, hm?" liv cooed, in attempts to get her little lovie out of burying her face into liv's shoulder. y/n slowly begins to pull away, her teary-eyes met liv's. "Oh honey.." liv sighed sadly. she knew that this last case had taken a toll on y/n. it went so wrong and liv can tell y/n is blaming herself. "livie" y/n's voice broke. the fragile girl began to sob, covering her face with her fingers to spare liv the effort of attempting to console her. there was nothing liv could say to change the outcome of the case but what liv could do, was talk to y/n about it. liv knows that y/n was abused sexually in the past so this is why she relates to this case so deeply.

A few minutes passed, liv was giving y/n the space to cry and let it all out before talking to her. Y/n stood limp in liv's arms, tears stopped flowing. Y/n began to trace circles on liv's back. Liv took this as a sign that y/n was in a slightly better state. "Honey?" Liv gambled. Y/n hummed in reponsed. "Are you ready to talk about it, my love?" Liv asked, not removing the girl from her lap just in case. Y/n and Liv had this agreement that they'd always talk about it. If someone was bugging the other, they would not let it cause an argument or fight. To talk about it and dispute the problem before it gets worse.

Y/n scooted over, leaving some space between the two, but not much. Y/n clutched onto liv's hand, not that liv minded. She knew it helped y/n to talk, grounded her. Knowing that liv was real and she would be okay eventually. "I think the reason this case is getting to me so much is because this has happened to me. Not this exact situation but I was SA-ed. A-and I've told you about it briefly but..." Y/n's voice broke, drawing intense circles on liv's hand. With her other hand, liv reached out to rub y/n's back. Giving her a hint to breathe. Y/n takes a deep breath in response, getting the hint. Liv fixated on y/n's story, nodding at her to continue when she's ready.

"P-part of me wished someone had came to save me, but no one ever did. It got worse but you know what? I grew up, and got the hell out of there." Y/n exhaled, feeling a huge weigh lifted off her chest. "That's right my love. What you experienced, is horrible, I have no words. But you're right, you got the hell out of there and I'm so proud of you for that. Shows how strong you are, look how far you came. You help people everyday, you are amazing, my gorgeous, generous, girlfriend." her voice softened with affection.

Y/n let out a soft giggle in response. Liv, obviously confused, gives y/n a puzzled look in response. Furrowing her eyebrows. "That all started with g's, I just thought it was funny." Y/n squeaked in a happier sounding voice. "Oh? Hm? Funny am I?" Liv pushed, climbing onto y/n, trapping them beneath her. Y/n raised an eyebrow towards Liv. Liv attacked y/n with tickles. "l-livie!" She squealed. "How funny am I now? Hm, sweetheart?" Liv teased. Y/n squirmed beneath her, out of breath "l-liv i can't breath!!" Y/n giggled. "Oh, can't you now baby? " Liv inched closer towards Y/n, pressing her lips against y/n's.

Liv fell beside y/n, her hand caressed y/n's face. Their eyes met, and y/n leaned into liv's touch. "I love you so much, babe." y/n whispered quietly. "you are so perfect, angel." Liv whispered in response. They gazed at each other with nothing other than love. They laid in silence, clutching onto one another, falling asleep tangled up in quiet.

a/n: like, reblog and comment for more!!

#my writing #my fic #olivia benson x reader #olivia benson x you #olivia benson #law and order svu #svu #svu fic #svu x reader #svu fanfiction #law and order special victims unit #Olivia Benson angst #l&o svu #law and order fanfiction #Olivia x reader #hurt/comfort #angst #mentions of sa

[cissyenthusiast010155]

Olivia Benson Masterlist

Mommy… Master List

Approach at your own risk… smut =* extra smutty =**

One Shots

Late Night Submission ~Cabenson*

Bye Bi Bottom

Teasing Snow ~Holiday Bingo

Not Without You ~Casey Novak xFem Wife!Reader (Olivia Benson x Alex Cabot) [MATURE]

She’s Been to Hell And Back ~S13!Alex Cabot xFem Wife!Reader(feat. Casey, Rita, Liz, Liv, & Amanda)[MATURE]

My Guardian Angel ~Broken!Rita Calhoun xFem Younger!Investigator!Reader (Liz Donnelly x Alex Cabot) feat. Rafael Barba & Olivia Benson

How It All Started… ~Pre-S1!Younger!Olivia Benson xFem Older!Detective!Partner!Reader

Reap What You Sow ~Post-S21!Daddy!Olivia Benson*

Oh and I take Requests, so hit me up with your ideas 😉 Requests & Prompt-List

#benson #detective Olivia benson #olivia benson x reader #olivia benson #liv benson #Olivia benson smut #Olivia benson fluff #Olivia benson angst #Olivia benson x Alex Cabot #cabenson #Cabenson x reader #Cabenson fanfiction #Alex Cabot x Olivia benson #law and order special victims unit #law & order #law and order svu #law and order fanfiction #law and order fic #law and order smut #law and order x reader #law & order svu #law & order special victims unit #mariska hartigay #mariska hargitay #svu #special victims unit #l&o svu #svu fic #svu x reader #cissyenthusiast010155 Masterlist

[bensonsbobblehead]

Stand Still 

Pairings: Olivia Benson x Daughter!OC

Olivia Bensons daughter dealing with post op alone or so she thinks. 

 Content warnings: ANGST! Abortions , sex, sexual assault, lots of sadness, basically things that would be talked about in an episode. 

wc; 1.2k

[masterlist]

“Ryann Benson?” The nurse called softly from the door. The door Ryann had been staring at for the past two days in a row. This was it, she was doing it, alone.

The young women stood up walking quickly to the door as she turned her phone off. With her head hung low hoping no one in the office would remember her face. 

It’s freezing she thought as the nurse led her to a room and ordered her to take off her clothes. The nurse gave her and gown and left the room. After what felt like forever she returned with a million questions. 

Are you sure this is what you want? Is there anyone you need me to call? We can stop at anytime. Do you have someone to take you home? 

Ryann was on autopilot, she hated she was in this situation. It wasn’t entirely her fault Justin couldn’t take no for an answer so she just gave in. Which she knew her mother wouldn’t be proud of.

Maybe if I would’ve fought harder, he didn’t technically force me, I just gave up on saying no. 

Tears grew in her eyes as she thought about what happened. How he denied it was even his and blocked her number, leaving her completely helpless. She had to be strong, she had no choice. 

Before she knew it was time, Doctors and nurse flooding in with gear and equipment. 

“Just breathe for me” the doctors said as he begun. Ryann cried and breathed and cried again, the pain of it all was unbearable. 

“Is there anything you need sweetie?” The nurse asked holding her hand. 

My mom 

“No” Ryann whispered back wishing time would fly pass so this can all be over. She felt violated all over again. Exposed for everyone to see it was humiliating, all she wanted was her mom. To be there with her through all of this, but she couldn’t.

Olivia always knew how to soothe Ryann whenever she needed to. She’s her baby girl and quite frankly she’ll do anything to see her smile. 

When the procedure was over they gave her a change of clothes, medicine, and sent her on her way. 

She felt like she was hit by a bus but she had to hurry home. Ryann called an Uber and paid her extra to help her up the stairs, it was the least she could do. 

When she got into the apartment it was completely silent. No Olivia, no Noah, just Ryann and her thoughts. She walked to her room and laid down immediately. Stuffing the Planned Parenthood bag almost all the way under her bed. The girl dozed off finally getting some rest. 

—-

“Ry please answer the phone sweetie, I love you”

Olivia left her 4th message to her daughter. Ryann was Olivia’s oldest, she was a responsible girl but sometimes Olivia worried about her. Of course, she was a woman living in this world, how could she not worry. 

Ryann had told her she’s been with her friend since the weekend and she didn’t need to worry. But Olivia felt it in her soul something was up. So, she called Ava, Ryann only friend honestly.

“Hi Ava, I was wondering if Ry was still with you? She hadn’t been returning my calls”

“Hey, and no she actually went home early on Saturday you haven’t seen her?”

My daughters missing

“Thank you Ava” Olivia hung up and quickly called Amanda to her office. 

“Ry is missing, I need .. I need someone to trace her phone and her bank cards and I have to go get Noah” 

“Olivia, relax we are going to find her” Amanda reassured the woman heading toward the team and briefing them. 

Olivia sat in her office wondering how she let her guard down when it came to them she was always on top of it. She wanted Ryann to have more space even if that meant not talking to her everyday. She wondered how she not notice that she was missing.

“Captain” Amanda said from the office door causing Olivia to look up, “You’re going to want to see this” Amanda sat the laptop on her desk showing her daughters latest purchases. The top one being the very pricy one with the words Planned Parenthood next to it. 

“I need to find my daughter now” Olivia stood up grabbing her belongings heading towards the elevator.

The first thing Olivia thought was why would her own daughter want her there for this. It did not matter that her daughter was pregnant but it was about her protection. Making sure there through whatever Ryann had to face. 

When she arrived at the apartment she noticed her daughters shoes and headed toward her door. Knocking softly and getting no response she peaked in. 

Seeing her daughter buried under the blankets holding Little, the stuffed cat her uncle Elliot gave her when she was 9. Olivia walked in trying not to wake her, looking around the room for anything to help her understand what happened. As she moved closer to the bed that when she seen the planned parenthood bag. Filled with papers, pads, aftercare, and an outfit. 

“What happened sweet girl” she whrispered trying not to wake the girl but failing. Ryann turned over to see her mother standing there with the bag in her hand. Tears grew in her eyes fast, “Mama I —“ she said quickly sitting up. Before she could finish Olivia was already taking off her shoes and climbing into bed with her. 

“What’s going on Ry, talk to me” As she held her trying to give her the upmost comfort. Olivia took a look at her daughters face and she looked exhausted, Olivia hated this. 

“Justin and I were making out and it started getting intense and I didn’t want to have sex yet — but he begged even after I said no a thousand times. 

 I gave up and just let him. I didn’t want to do it and now I’m here” she was hysterical, “Please forgive me mama, I shouldn’t have even been doing anything. It’s all my fault.”

Olivia had felt like she was punched in the chest. Her daughter was a … victim. 

“I’m here for you now Ryann, I’m never going anywhere.” Ryann cried even harder, tears falling all over her mother. It 

It took Olivia 30 minutes to calm Ryann down before she spoke up. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I didn’t want you to know I was weak or for you to hate me for even thinking about sex.”

Olivia knew Ryann was a strong, creative girl and he could never hate her. Ryann brought a light into Olivia’s life and it’s been shining bright ever since.

“Look at me, I will never hate you and Ryan you are so strong. he’s the weak on. I wish I was there to hold your hand and be by your side through all of this.” 

Ryann cried harder all she wanted was her mom, she was her role model. Disappointing her was the last thing Ryann wanted to do. 

“It was your choice and I have no right to question that and I absolutely don’t hate you. You’re a part of me Ryann Serena.” 

Ryann snuggled into her mom, tears still falling from her eyes. Ryann had wished she called her mom to come with her to get the abortion

#Olivia benson #Olivia Benson reader #Olivia Benson daughter #Olivia Ben x Daughter #Olivia Benson x daughter!reader #x daughter!reader #Olivia Benson x Daughter!OC #SVU daughter #Law and order daughter #Olivia Benson x Daughter!reader #Olivia Benson angst

[jessicaslittlelovesickmess]

Lydia

Warning: Angst, hurtfic, hints of cheating, slut shaming

Pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x Reader, Melissa x Gary, Olivia Benson x sister!reader

She hadn’t worked there very long only a month or so

Everyone loved Lydia the third grade teacher who almost bested Melissa Schemmenti.. almost but it was safe to say she made everyone swoon. Jealousy was an ugly accessory that both Melissa and Gary seemed to wear the couple both eyeing the new teacher.

Am I surprised to see you here with Lydia? Melissa thought as she entered the break room to see Gary and the woman. She’s oh so nice and easier to love than I the redhead wanted to slap her boyfriend for how easily his attention was given. As he eyed Lydia making her coffee neither noticing the redhead enter “how does Mel like her coffee?” She asked gently grabbing another cup down. “She should be in soon so I want it to be ready when she’s here” Melissa smiled at your kindness “im not sure” Gary scratched his head before refilling the vending machine.

But no, I won’t hold it against her

My baby, my baby the first person to love since she divorced Joe swooning over another woman so blatantly. Lydia always shrugged him off with a polite smile though you could see it in her eyes she hated it all the attention from him. “Don’t you want me anymore?” Melissa asked him once they were alone he avoided eye contact and that told her everything she needed to hear.

Her arms are warm the redhead smiled to herself as she relaxed in Lydia’s embrace both women standing alone in the empty classroom. Melissa let herself enjoy this moment of peace with her friend that she had just vented about Gary to.

Her legs are wide and so’s her smile even Barbara would be lying if she said she didn’t have a little bit of a girl crush on the woman. Lydia stood beside Melissa at the counter as she made them both another cup of coffee, she was the woman the redhead always wished to be.

She’ll take you on

Where I would slap you down and hide

Melissa hadn’t always been the badass Italian everyone knew it had taken years to grow her skin yet Lydia did it so effortlessly. Always talking back to the rude parents with ease and the sleezeball fathers constantly trying to start an affair. She had a confidence that captivated people that drew them into her so easily.

But no, I won’t hold it against her

Melissa was so used to having someone to smother to care for that once Gary drifted away she felt almost hollow. Though Lydia always promised there wasn’t anything going on and that the man loved her even if it burned to admit. Lydia loved Melissa but she wasn’t the type to break a relationship over such feelings so she stayed quiet and supportive.

Now wasn’t the time to jump into anything new for Lydia she was doing just fine being friends.

My baby, my baby

Don’t you want me anymore

My baby, my baby

Don’t you need me anymore

Her lips are cold it was now winter as Lydia walked into the break room in her layers lips having turned blue almost purple as she grabbed her mug. Melissa couldn’t stop staring at her smile the skin on her lips had begun to split slightly.

He talks too tired

To say goodbye

Gary would normally be almost bouncing off the walls just being near Melissa but now he seemed almost drained as he barely smiled at the woman. Barbara caught on she was a lot of things but she wasn’t stupid nobody could miss how he looked at you.

So take the time to reel me in and wash me out

But treat her right

And no, I wont hold it against her

Against her

Melissa knew when to call it quits Lydia had won a competition she didn’t know she was in and the redhead couldn’t be mad. The woman had done nothing she knew it all from her first marriage but watching as the pair quickly distanced themselves it broke her.

Lydia left for a while and nobody knew why she had just vanished for a week having Ava surprisingly cover her classes. It only lead Melissa to that sinking feeling that Gary and Lydia were going behind her back.

My baby, my baby

Don’t you want me anymore

My baby, my baby

Don’t you need me anymore

“Ms. Benson?” The young receptionist spoke softly as she entered the breakroom “yes dear?” Lydia smiled “there’s a woman here she said she’s your sister? She at the front office”. The woman nodded getting up from her seat unaware of everyone’s curious gaze.

You seemed to know all about them yet they knew nothing about you.

My baby, my baby

Don’t you want me anymore

My baby, my baby

Don’t you love me anymore

Melissa couldn’t believe Gary would even propose to Lydia without breaking up with her first she was heartbroken. Someone who became one of her closest friends doing that behind her back? She decided enough was enough.

Melissa had cornered both you and Gary in your classroom yelling about an affair that didn’t exist, slut shaming and name calling. She threw pens and pulled her hair, Gary didn’t know what to do and neither did you Melissa had herself convinced she didn’t care.

Angrily you stomped to your desk taking the small box out of the top drawer throwing it to Gary “i’m done” you laughed grabbing your bag and leaving. Only then did Melissa stop “Lydia was helping me to propose” Gary swallowed unable to meet Melissa’s eyes.

My baby, my baby

Don’t you want me anymore

Don’t you love me anymore

The next time Melissa saw Lydia was at the woman’s front door, the brunette sat on her doorstep tear stained and puffing a cigarette. The redhead felt guilty no she was guilty and she felt horrible to just assume such things and to act the way she did.

A little boy ran around the front lawn happily before another slightly older brunette woman walked out from behind Lydia. Melissa stepped out of her car warily as she made her way to the small group the other woman quick to meet the brunette ready to fight.

“Olivia it’s just Melissa” you waved off with a sigh Melissa? You never said her full name “what do you want?” You looked tired. “I’m sorry, I should’ve listened to you” Melissa played with the hem of her shirt “you’re sorry? Okay” you shrugged.

“I think it’s best if you leave” Olivia cleared her throat as she raised an eyebrow to Melissa’s truck in the driveway “she doesn’t need this at the moment”

Melissa lost Gary

Now she was losing you too

#imagine #wlw #lisa ann walter #lisa ann walter x reader #angst #abbott elementary #melissa schemmenti x gary #melissa schemmenti x oc #melissa ann schemmenti #melissa schemmenti imagine #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #olivia benson #olivia benson x sister

[youdoknowwhotfiam]

Olivia benson x fem!reader

FREE PALESTINE

Angst

(Credit to owner)

The scent of burnt coffee and regret hung heavy in the air of Olivia's apartment. Two years. Two whole years had passed since the fight, a stupid, petty argument that escalated into a chasm Olivia never thought you'd willingly jump into. You called her a workaholic, her nights spent hunched over case files a constant reminder of how little time she had for anything else. You, with your fiery spirit and infectious laugh, deserved more than that. Olivia, in a fit of exhaustion and frustration, had thrown it back, words laced with the bitterness of a job that chipped away at her soul piece by piece. "Then maybe you should find someone who has time for you!"

You slammed the door on your way out, the echo of it reverberating in Olivia's ears long after you were gone. She called, texted, left desperate messages on your voicemail, hoping, praying you wouldn't disappear like smoke. But disappear you did. No forwarding address, no trace on social media, your phone number disconnected. You vanished like a ghost, leaving behind a gaping hole in Olivia's life.

The days blurred into weeks, weeks into months. Olivia threw herself into work, the familiar sting of righteous anger and the hunt for justice a poor substitute for the warmth of your hand in hers. She saw traces of you everywhere – in the coffee shop where you always ordered your extra-sweet cappuccino, in the park where you used to steal glances at the stray dogs, in the bookstore where you'd lose yourself in detective novels. Each time, a jolt of hope would momentarily flicker, only to be extinguished by the crushing reality of your absence.

Then came the call. It was a cold, rainy November night, the city slick with the first kiss of winter. Elliot's voice crackled through the line, a raw urgency in his tone. "Liv, you gotta get down here. Warehouse raid. Russian mob. We found girls."

Olivia's throat went dry. Human trafficking. It was an all too familiar story, a stain on the city's soul. But the case didn't register fully, not yet. All she could think about was girls, young lives stolen, innocence shattered.

The warehouse was a desolate, concrete tomb. The air hung heavy with the metallic tang of blood and the despairing whimpers that echoed from behind the heavy metal doors. Olivia and the team kicked them down, a cacophony of shouts and flashing lights filling the cavernous space.

The girls were everywhere. Huddled in corners, eyes wide with terror, their bodies frail shadows under layers of grime. As Olivia moved through the room, a primal instinct kicked in, a fierce protectiveness that burned through the years of jaded detachment. She knelt before a young girl, barely a teenager, tears tracing dirty streaks down her pale cheeks. The girl flinched instinctively, eyes downcast.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Olivia murmured, her voice soft and soothing. "We're here to help you now."

A gruff voice interrupted. "Liv, you need to see this."

Elliot stood by a makeshift bed in a back room, his face grim. Olivia followed his gaze. There, on the threadbare mattress, lay a figure draped in a tattered blanket. It was you.

The blood drained from Olivia's face. Your face, pale and gaunt, was framed by matted hair. Your once vibrant eyes were closed, your breathing shallow. A choked sob escaped her lips. How? Why?

Elliot noticed her reaction, his eyes instantly filled with understanding. "We need to get her to the hospital," he said, his voice gruff but kind.

The sterile white of the hospital room felt like a slap. Olivia sat by your bedside, a vigil kept through the long night. Machines beeped rhythmically, a constant reminder of your fragility. Hours turned into days, and finally, your eyelids fluttered open.

Confusion clouded your gaze for a moment before recognition dawned. Your eyes widened, a flicker of fear giving way to disbelief. "Olivia?"

Her voice was a hoarse whisper, but to Olivia, it was a symphony. "Yeah, it's me. You're safe now."

Tears welled up in your eyes, spilling down your cheeks. You tried to speak, but your voice was weak. Olivia leaned closer, catching your words.

"You left," you rasped, your voice tinged with accusation.

Olivia flinched. "I..." she started, the words catching in her throat. Shame and regret were a bitter cocktail in her mouth.

"Don't," you cut her off, a flicker of your old fire returning. "Just... tell me what happened."

It poured out of her then, a torrent of words – the fight, the desperation, the months spent searching for you. You listened in silence, With a tear slipping down her cheek, Olivia reached out and grasped your hand, her touch sending a jolt through you. The years of separation melted away, replaced by a raw vulnerability that left you breathless.

"I was so stupid, Y/N," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "Work consumed me, and I took you for granted. I never thought you'd leave."

You squeezed her hand back, a silent understanding passing between you. The hurt of the fight was still there, a dull ache in your chest, but seeing Olivia like this, broken and filled with remorse, softened the blow.

"I said some pretty awful things too," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I shouldn't have stormed out like that."

Olivia's eyes met yours, a flicker of hope igniting within them. "Can you ever forgive me?"

The question hung in the air, heavy with unspoken longing. You looked at the woman you once loved, the woman you realized you never truly stopped loving. The past two years had been a nightmare, a desolate wasteland devoid of her warmth.

Taking a deep breath, you reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. The gesture was small, intimate, a silent promise.

"I already have," you murmured, your voice thick with emotion.

A choked sob escaped Olivia's lips as she leaned forward, burying her face in the crook of your neck. Tears streamed down her face, hot against your skin. You held her close, whispering words of comfort, the silence of the hospital room broken only by the soft beeps of the machines and the rhythm of your intertwined breaths.

As the days turned into weeks, you recovered slowly, your body healing alongside the fractured pieces of your relationship with Olivia. The nights were filled with whispered confessions, apologies, and the tentative rebuilding of trust. You spoke about your ordeal, the horrors you witnessed at the hands of your captors, the despair that threatened to consume you.

Olivia listened patiently, her arms wrapped around you, a silent shield against the encroaching darkness. She held you close as you cried, her presence a source of strength and solace.

When you were finally released from the hospital, Olivia took you back to her apartment. It felt different, the emptiness replaced by a sense of cautious optimism. There were nights you'd lie awake, the echo of the past lingering in the air, but Olivia was always there, a comforting presence by your side.

One evening, as you sipped tea on the fire escape, the city lights twinkling below, Olivia turned to you, her eyes filled with a newfound determination.

"We'll get through this, together," she said, her voice firm. "You and me."

You met her gaze, a smile gracing your lips. "Together," you echoed, the simple word holding the promise of a future rebuilt, stronger and more cherished than ever before. The fight that tore you apart had left its scars, but it had also shown you the strength of your bond, a love that even the darkest of nights couldn't extinguish.

#olivia benson x reader #olivia benson x you #olivia #olivia benson #law and order svu angst #svu fic #law and order svu #svu #l&o svu

[svuobsessed]

SVU team X Autistic Victim teen reader

Literally started watching Law and Order SVU yesterday and fell in love with the show well the sixth season at least.

This will be my first ever L&O SVU one-shot.

Summary: The team are called in after a Teen was beaten up by two other students.

Third person pov...

The smell of the hospital woke Y/N L/N up, they had always hated the smell of the rooms it made their sensory issues skyrocket.

Opening their eyes they are meet with bright white lights, groaning they close their eyes again, sitting up carefully being mined full of their injuries.

Slowly the teen opens their eyes again, this time the light was not as bad, Y/N looked around the spacious room, the teen was alone in the room.

They could not remember anything, rocking slowly trying to calm down they wracked their brain for something but could not remember. "Stupid stupid, what the hell happened to me" they shout smacking their head as they started to freak out.

As they were having a meltdown the doors opened and in came Detectives Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler. "Y/N what's wrong sweetie?" Calls Olivia as they rushed over to the teenager.

Hearing voices they did not know made Y/N look up and crawl out of their bed as they stood searing pain shot through their head groaning in pain they wobbled; Olivia grabbed the teen to stop them from falling.

Instead, they struggled in her hold trying to get away from her. "Stop let go off me" they yell eventually Oliva let them go. The teen crumpled to the floor against a wall rocking back and forth hands in their hair trembling all over.

Olivia and Elliot look at each other. "What the hell happened there?" questions Elliot watching the distraught teen work they way through a panic attack. Suddenly the doors opened it was Y/Ns parents, outside the room they answered the twos questions. "Y/N is autistic which is why they reacted that way, the new room and new people triggered them into a meltdown" explained Y/Ns dad as he held his wife.

Crying the woman looked at the two detectives "what happened to our child, why where they attacked" she cried, Olivia and Elliot look at each other before telling the two.

During Y/Ns 4th period lesson they left the classroom for a breather as they got overwhelmed, as they did the teen was followed by two students. 15 minutes later the two students walk back joking and shoving each other in the hall, Y/N know where to be seen.

Lucky for them the janitor was passing by and found them unconscious and beaten up, at the end both Y/Ns parents wanted to press charges but could not without Y/N present.

Days later Y/N had woken up again in the hospital this time a lot more calm and not as anxious. The 13 year old was sat up in the bed, they had a bandage wrapped around their head their attackers got in a few good swings to their head.

The teen also had bruises on their arms, they had tried to protect themselves from the attack though being surprised, the door to Y/Ns room opened the teen turned their head, it was the detectives from before.

Sitting up they continued to look off sideways as the two detectives approached the H/C Haired teens bed. "Hi Y/N, I'm Olivia this is Elliot" she introduces them. Y/N does not look at them but nods.

Elliot looks at the teen and stands closer. "Y/N we wanted to ask some questions about the day you were attacked?" he asks the teen, sighing the teen turns their head to look at the man.

"I didn't see their faces" they whisper, the adults could tell they were lying by the way their voice cracked, the two detectives eye each other before Olivia sits next to Y/N on the bed.

"that's a lie sweetie and you know it" she tells them gently, Y/N looks up at her tears in their E/C eyes. "I know, I can't tell I won't" they cry hands shaking in their lap. Olivia holds out her hand to the teen as an invitation to hold hers.

Two both hers and Elliots surprise the teen grabbed her hand squeezing tightly as they cried.

The team are stuck at the precinct Benson, Stabler, Tutuola and Munch all stand around the evidence board in front of them, it was filled with pictures of what happened to Y/N, the footage of the two students.

"That poor child, who in their right mind would beat someone for being different" says Munch as he stares at a picture of Y/Ns injuries pissed off. "Your right partner, little shits" Fin pats the man's shoulder.

On the desk next to them stand Olivia and Elliot. "If only we could persuade Y/N to tell us their attackers" says Elliot slamming his hand down on the table, Oliva sighs and looks at the forage. "We can't push the, they are already traumatised enough" as the team stand around someone pats Elliots back.

This scares the man; he had not heard any footsteps telling him someone was there. Turning around he was shocked at who was there. "Y/N" the name made the others turn around.

Behind Elliot stood their 13 year old victim, the teen had numerous bandages around their arms and head, headphones around their neck and a small stuffed toy. "I'm here to report an assault" the relief on the faces of the detectives is seen.

Olivia stands from her chair and beckons the teen over. "Come on sweetie, I'll take you to an interview room" she takes the teen to an unused room, the teen looks around and sets their bag and stuffed toy on the table.

Munch and Fin are disgusted at how the arseholes beat up Y/N, turning to Elliot they see a pissed of look on his face. "Those bastards" growls Fin, Munch agrees "they deserve to be locked up for good" he says, Elliot follows after Y/N and Olivia.

Hours later Y/N had told the two everything that had happened to the over the past year, they had been beaten up before by the same kids but not so bad they had to go to the hospital, lucky for Y/N both attackers were charged with category 1 of grievous bodily harm with 26 month in juvie with 100 hours of community service.

Y/N was more than happy with the charges, their parent profusely thanked the SVU team for their help.

The end!

I plan to skip most of the court parts because I know nothing about how they work so sorry I only really know about the kind of charges you can get, anyway sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes.

Requests are open!

Word count: 1171

#law and order svu #svu #svu x teen reader #elliot stabler x teen reader #olivia benson x teen reader #elliot stabler #olivia benson #x autistic reader #x teen!reader #assult #angst

[the-wandering-wonder]

No Further Questions

Just a fun, angsty oneshot I threw together due to my current Raul Esparza obsession. Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader

Word Count: 1,211

Rating: T (angst, swearing)

Chapter: 1/1

Summary: You get called as a witness for the defense, and Rafael has to cross-examine you. And we all know how ruthless he can be, even to the SVU detectives. Hurt feelings and anger come out, and you don't quite know how to handle it.

“No further questions.”

Rafael Barba’s words echo in your ears as you step out of the witness box. You can’t bring yourself to look at him as you walk past the table, anger and humiliation flooding through you. You walk out of the courtroom, Carisi right on your heels. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Carisi calls, trying to keep up with your brisk pace. “That was rough…”

“You're telling me.” 

“I mean, I get that he had to do his job, but damn.”

You stop before reaching the elevator, Carisi nearly stumbling into you. You turn, pinching the bridge of your nose as you let out a sigh.

“I-” You shake your head. “Look, I’m just gonna get back to the station. I’ve got paperwork to finish.”

Carisi looks like he wants to say something, but just gives you a sad nod instead, watching as you get in the elevator. As the doors shut and you’re left alone, you feel your lungs tighten and you take in gulps of air that burn your chest. Your eyes begin to burn and you feel tears threatening to fall.

“Dammit!” You slam your fist against the elevator wall. You’d never cried in the courthouse before and you were not about to start now.

~~~~~~~~

You knock back the shot of whiskey, feeling the burn in your throat and grateful to feel something besides the aching knot in your stomach. You’d left the squad at their table, preferring solitude at the bar. You fight back a tremble as you push your glass towards the edge of the bar.

“Another for the lady.”

Barba’s annoyingly smooth voice floats over the noise of the bar and you turn to see the A.D.A. sliding into the chair next to you. You feel your heart racing as memories of the day flood through you. The green of his eyes are almost swallowed in the dim light of the bar and you can’t help but remember the fire that had been in them as he ripped you apart on the witness stand. Or had that been hurt…?

“Look, about today-”

“Today?” You interrupt Barba, turning to glare at him. “Today fucking sucked.”

“Listen-”

“I’ve got nothing more to say, counselor.”

You spit out the title, taking notice of the pinched look in his eyes at your vitriol. You’d begun to trust Barba, but maybe that had been a mistake. You zip up your jacket, shoving your hands in your pockets as you push away from the bar. Swinging by the table, you give the squad a nod.

“I’m gonna call it a night,” you say quickly. “I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

Barba turns to watch you stride out of the bar. Tossing back his drink, he moves to follow you, stopping when Carisi moves to block him.

“Hey, man,” he says, his hand resting on Barba's chest. “I don't think you-”

He glances over Barba's shoulder, letting his words die as he sees Olivia shake her head softly. He steps aside, letting Barba follow you out into the brisk city air.

“Detective, wait!” He calls, frowning as he watches you walking away.

You ignore him as you continue down the sidewalk, and you hear the scrape of shoes on pavement as he follows behind. You stop short as he calls you by name, his voice cracking. You stop, pausing for just a moment before turning to face Barba.

“I’m sorry about today,” he says briskly, placing his hand on your arm.

You jerk your arm away, not missing the hurt that flashes across Barba's face as his jaw tenses. You sigh, feeling your chest tighten as the corners of your eyes begin to burn. You open and close your mouth, unable to form words that won’t end with you crying in front of him.

“You have to know that I didn’t enjoy that,” he continues, “it’s just…it’s my job.”

“I know what your job is,” you reply. Your voice begins to shake and each swallow feels like broken glass lodging in your throat. You let out a shaky sigh before continuing, “and I know why you did it. But it fucking hurt me. It blindsided me.”

“If I could have given you a heads up, I would have.” Barba lowers his head. “But I couldn’t risk accusations of tampering.”

“I know,” you nod your head slightly. “I’m just gonna go home, watch the game, and try to pretend today never happened. Good night, counselor.”

~~~~~~~~

You nurse your glass of wine, wrapped in your blanket as you watch the highlights from the game. Your team won, but you don’t feel your usual joy, instead sinking into the comforting embrace of numbness. You’re contemplating a second glass when there’s a soft knock at the door. You groan slightly as you disentangle yourself from the fabric and shuffle to the door.

You glance through the peephole, feeling a pang of surprise and irritation as you see Barba standing at your door, an almost shameful look on his face and a pizza box in his hand. You open the door, leaning against the doorframe as you look at him. He shifts his weight from one foot to another as he holds the pizza out towards you.

“I-uh, well, I know you like pizza when you watch a game,” he offers, his eyebrows knit as he searches your face for any sign of reaction.

“Game finished 30 minutes ago.”

Barba’s face falls at your words and despite wanting to hurt him earlier, it makes your heart ache slightly. You feel your anger and resolve slowly crumbling as you take in the man standing at your doorstep. He's in his usual fancy suit with a rich, brown overcoat, but his usual cocksure expression is long gone, replaced with a placating gaze and frown etched into his features. 

“I was about to put on a movie,” you continue, pushing off the door frame and walking back inside. “Wine or whiskey?”

“Whatever you have open,” Barba says quietly, taking a tentative step into your apartment.

“Wine it is, then.”

You grab a second glass, nodding at the door as you pour. He takes your meaning and closes it behind him, setting the pizza box on the counter once he reaches the kitchen. He sheds both overcoat and suit jacket, laying them on an empty chair. You hand him the glass and walk back over to the couch, settling into the comfort of the cushions and blanket. Barba stands by the counter, his gaze shifting from you to his glass and back again before he approaches the couch. Your name tumbles out of his lips with a sigh, his gaze filled with a plea for forgiveness.

Glancing up at Barba, you lift the blanket, scooting over to make room for the A.D.A. His eyes widen slightly and you see his posture soften ever-so-slightly before he lowers onto the couch, tentatively settling beside you.

“Today sucked, Raf.”

“I know.”

His arm slides around your shoulder and you instinctively curl into his side, his warmth radiating through your body as you feel his body sighing in relief, relaxing against you.

“It still hurts.”

Barba presses a gentle kiss against the top of your head before resting his chin there.

“I know…”

#rafael barba #reader insert #barba x reader #raul esparza #dominick carisi #olivia benson #slight angst #barba is an ass #but not really #he feels bad #your feelings are hurt #but happy endings abound

[benslerandolitzlove]

Is there an EO fanfic where grown adult Dicky is going off on Liv in front of his siblings, Noah, Bernie, and Elliot and accusing her of sleeping with his father while he was married to Kathy for all those years. And Elliot finally setting the record straight and going into great detail about how Liv saved his marriage time and time again and was damn near the reason Kathy and him was still married up until she died. Also letting Dicky know Eli exist because of Olivia and that she was a second mother to all of his kids because he and Kathy couldn’t be the parents they needed and she stepped in repeatedly because she didn’t want his marriage to fail even though it killed her year over year that she couldn’t have him.

#elliot stabler #olivia benson #elliot x olivia #eo #fanfic #bensler #bensler fanfiction #law and order svu #benson and stabler #angst with a happy ending #someone write this

[elliot-olivia]

AT THE CORE OF ALL SIGHS IS A NAME, A STONE FROM THE BODY'S LAST LOST HOME. ( Karen Solie, from “Days Inn,” in Short Haul Engine. )

law & order: svu, "smoked" // margaret atwood, from orpheus (1) in "selected poems ii" // law & order: svu, "return of the prodigal son" // frank bidart, "o ruin o haunted" // law & order: svu, "scorched earth" // john banville, the sea // law & order: organized crime, "what happens in puglia" // hanif abdurraqib, from rumours and the currency of heartbreak, in "they can’t kill us until they kill us" // law & order: svu, "psycho/therapist" // ingeborg bachmann in a letter to paul celan, quoted in ‘the correspondence of ingeborg bachmann and paul celan’ by charlie louth // law & order: svu, "the people vs. richard wheatley" // franz wright, night walk // law & order: svu, "and a trauma in a pear tree"

#angst hours babyyyyy #bensler #elliot x olivia #benson x stabler #elliot stabler #olivia benson #bensleredit #web weaving #mygifs #multi #eo #txt* #12x24 #22x09 #13x01 #oc 1x01 #15x10 #23x09 #24x09

[poetrybyhai]

Right outside your door

Olivia Benson x Elliot Stabler one shot

Set in season 7 after “fault”

__________________________________

Elliot wanted to go talk to her, he needed to. But everyone had told him if he didn't give her some space, things between them would only get worse.

So for the first time in the seven years he had known her, Elliot was hesitant to go knock her door.

How could things between them possibly get any worse though? She was completely ignoring his existence.

He was spiraling, everyone around him knew it.

And Dammit those nightmares, he had been having the same reoccurring nightmares since the day he found out she left, nightmares about losing her entirely, not just from his life but from the the entire world.

They were based around what almost happened a few weeks ago.

What he couldn't bare to even think about.

And the more time passed without seeing her, the more vividly they played out and the more real they began to feel.

It was terrifying.

And so embarrassing, he's stronger than this. Elliot Stabler doesn't wake up panicking from nightmares. My gosh, that didn't even happen when he had PTSD from the military.

It didn't happen after any traumatizing case, and there were so many of them he had lost count.

What was this woman doing to him?

                                     ~~~

Flashes of Olivia's lifeless body on the cold floor, played out in his mind. her eyes rolling in the back of her head, blood gushing everywhere, her face turning white, his hand feeling for a pulse that was gone.

Flashes of his partner bleeding out in front of him.

Each time he had that same nightmare, he always woke up right before he blurted out the three words, he only ever allowed his mind to say in that split second he thought he was losing her.

"Olivia, don't go I.."

                                          ~~~

It was now a quarter after midnight and Elliot yet again, was swimming in a pool of his own sweat, gasping for air.

Crying out her name.

"Dad"

No response.

"Dad"

"No response."

"DAD!" The voice echoed much louder than before, julting him awake.

"Ahh, what!? He gasped nearly falling off the bed.

"Dad, you're scaring me, what the hell was that about?" Kathleen questioned, her voice laced with confusion.

"Kathleen?" His eyes wandered around the room trying to make out his surroundings. "What are you doing here?"

She raised her brow at him, "Do you not remember?"

"You picked me up from Trevor's house because, his dad was making me uncomfortable, I had to beg you not to kill him.. we went to denny's afterwards?" she went on, trying to jog his memory.

This was weird, it had only been a few hours and he didn't remember how she got there?

Elliot stared off into space, trying to remember the events his daughter just described to him, but his body was still in fight or flight mode and his mind was foggy.

Finally, after an unusually long minute, things came back to him, and he could see the relief on Kathleen's face when he bellowed a loud "ohh." As he slowly came back to reality.

"You scared me dad, I thought you might have dementia or something."

He laughed lightly "No honey, not yet at least."

"Are you okay though?" she asked, that same expression returning to her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine honey." He tried to assure her, even though he knew she probably heard him screaming.

"Are you sur."

"Sweetheart, I said I'm fine."

His daughter wasn't convinced, she made her way to the side of his bed and pressed her hand to his forehead, "dad, you're covered in sweat that must've been quite the intense nightmare, do you have PTSD from what happened with Olivia?."

He visibly stiffened at the mention of her name, the nightmare still fresh, and his mind not exactly fully awake yet.

"What would make you think that?" He replied, hoping she wouldn't pry any further, his kids didn't need to be involved in this, he didn't want them to suspect anything strange when he didn't even know what was going on himself.

"Because you were screaming her name." she said, squinting her eyes at him in puzzlement.

"Was I? That's weird."

Kathleen crossed her arms and gave him a challenged look "Dad, come on, you might be a good liar at work but you'll always be a horrible one in your person life.. especially when you're talking to me."

"Honey, it's not something you need to worry about, I don't even  know why I would say that."

"Your ears are red."

"What?"

"Your ears are red." She repeated, "your ears get red when you're lying."

"Kathleen, why don't you go to bed? don't you have school tomorrow."

"You should go talk to her." she blurted out, ignoring his last statement.

"Kathleen.." he warned.

But she didn't budge.

"Dad."

"Kathleen, seriously!"

"I'm serious dad! You should go talk to her, do you think I'm stupid? I know, I've known for years."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You heard me dad, I wasn't born yesterday, even if to you, it seems like I was, I'm a woman now, I've been one for a while, and we know things."

"Whatever you think you know, you can't know because, I don't even know." He babled in response, although what he said was true, he didn't know.

Or maybe he did know, but denial is a strong thing.

"I'm not saying you have to pour your heart out to her, but at least go apologize."

"I did! I left her a voicemail, I called her 30 times!" Now he was getting angry, he had to remind himself this was his daughter, and now was not the time to lose his temper.

"She'd rather hear you say it to her face, otherwise she's going to think you're just telling her what she wants to hear so she'll come to you."

Elliot looked at her with the up most puzzled expression before he replied, How would you know that? she's not a family member, you don't even know her."

"You're wrong dad, she's been like family to us for a long time."

And those words right there caused tears to well up in his eyes, his kids considered her family.

It was a weird dynamic.

But not one he was willing to just let go of.

She couldn't just never talk to him again.

Cus' as much as she thought of him as a stubborn son or a bitch, she was one too.

Kathleen was right he had to go to her.

"When did you get so mature?" he smiled at his daughter sadly.

She smiled back before evolving him as a hug.

"I wasn't born yesterday."

"Lovely." She mumbled to herself sarcastically before emerging out of bed and making her way to the bathroom to splash cold water on her face.

Suddenly she didn't feel the slightest bit tired anymore.

So instead of going back to bed when she saw the clock read 1:30AM she decided to go in the living room and watch tv.

Ugh, why did he have such a hold on her? It's like she couldn't escape him no matter what she did, not in her wake, not in her sleep. He was always on her mind, no matter how much she fought to get him out of it, he was still there.

And she wondered how long she could go on like this for. Ignoring him, declining his calls, revolving her life around trying to forget about him until the anger subsided enough that she could talk to him again, even though things would never be the same after this, and she couldn't expect them to be.

She didn't think it would be this hard, she knew it would be different, she knew it would hurt but not this much, nothing was the same anymore, nothing had been the same since Gitano.

It's not like she thought leaving was going to fix anything, but she didn't feel like she had any other choice.

There was no way to fix this.

Before Gitano, Olivia truly believed that nothing could break them apart, because it wasn't an easy job, they had their fair share of screaming contests when they disagreed on something, she slammed doors in his face more times than she'd like to admit, there were many ups and downs in their partnership, many times she swore she hated him and was sure he hated her back.

But when they went crashing down, they always came back to each other, every single time.

Until now.

She didn't know how to accept that Gitano, that case, very well might've ruined them for good, and there would be no coming back around this time.

She couldn't lose him, but she couldn't face him either.

Olivia was starting to realize, that though she was able to run, she wasn't able to hide.

But she couldn't face what she was feeling and she wasn't even sure she knew how to.

Trying to block out her thoughts Olivia began flipping through the channels, settling on a repeat of the bachelor, one of her favorite comfort shows. Though, nothing seemed to bring her much comfort these days.

And then came a knock on her door.

At first she thought it was the tv.

But then it happened again.

A knock she could recognize anywhere.

"Not now, my gosh, not now." she mumbled to herself.

By the 10th knock Elliot was growing impatient, he wasn't going to let her continue to ignore him, not when he drove over here, in the middle of the night, not when this had been the longest week of his life.

"Olivia! Olivia! I know you're in there!" He bellowed.

She didn't answer.

"Olivia, I can feel you thinking, you can't avoid me forever."

"Dammit Elliot, it's 2am." she uttered.

"Just let me in."

"No."

"Let me in!" He repeated.

" I said no!"

"Olivia for the love of god, what are we are five years old now? Just open the damn door."

And she was silent again.

"Olivia! Let me in."

Really? Now he chose to do this.

It was never going to be a good time.

Olivia made her way to the door but she still refused to open it, now standing beside the door, her forehead pressed against the wall, her hand dangerously close to the knob.

No, she wasn't doing this right now.

"Go home Elliot."

"Olivia, I swear to god if you don't open this door I'm going to bust in down."

He couldn't be serious.

"Try me and i'll sue you for breaking and entering."

"I have a key." He reminded her.

"You still have a key!"

"Just let me in."

"It’s not a good time."

"It's never going to be a good time Liv, but I need to freaking talk to you!"

He was just about to reach for the spare key when he heard her unlock the hinge.

"You got five minutes." She told him as she finally opened the door, blocking the entrance with her body.

God, she was beautiful and he couldn't help but stare, despite the fact that he was low key beginning to hate her for the games she was playing.

"Well hello to you too, aren't you going to let me in."

Olivia only crossed her arms in response, "Whatever it is, you can say from where you are."

He looked at her with a mixture of disbelief and anger before mocking her actions and crossing his arms as well. You've got to be kidding me Liv."

"I'm serious El, spit it out."

"Why are you acting like this?!"

"What are you talking about."

"I'm not playing along with your petty junior high games Olivia, I came here to talk to you now let me in." He demanded, catching her off guard when he pushed past her, making his way to her couch.

"What do you think you're doing?."

"I said we needed to talk." He stated, as if it was a demand.

"And I said it wasn't a good time."

"And I said it's never going to be a good time."

My god, he had a way of making her lose every ounce of patience she had in her.

"Then why are you here?!

"I said we needed to talk."

And for a good minute, they just stared at each other, neither willing to back down, neither willing to give in.

She saw everything in his eyes as they continued their stare off, the hurt, the betrayal, the regret, the sadness, the pain.

How dare he come here and try to make her feel bad? how dare he come here and look at her like that, like she ruined him.

~~~

Olivia was the first to break the silence, "Dammit Elliot what is the matter with you?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Oh really? Last time I checked I didn't show up at your place at 2am, banging on the door and yelling like I'm on fire." She shot back.

"No, you just quit and completely cut me out of your life without even so much as a text message." he quipped.

"I didn't cut you out of my life Elliot."

"Then why haven't I heard from you in an entire fucking week!" He yelled, emerging from the couch and beginning to pace the living room, Elliot had every intention of coming over to apologize, not to start a fight, but her stubbornness was too much and his anger was now overpowering the guilt he had been feeling.

Olivia stayed in place, not wanting to fight with him again, trying to calm herself before she lost it, he knew her every button and just now to push them. "I needed space! Did you really think I was going to ignore you forever? Really says a lot about how well you know me."

He laughed bitterly in response "You have no idea what you have put me through."

That was it.

Suddenly, it didn't matter if they fought she didn't care, she was enraged and she wasn't going to let him talk to her like that, not again.

Not this time.

Not when he barged into her house at 2am, like a fucking F5 tornado.

"What I've put you through!?" She screamed, not even realizing she was now yelling in his face.

He didn't back down and they were now so close they could feel each other's hot breath on their necks. "Yeah, you heard me."

She felt dizzy.

"I knew that voicemail was a lie! you're not sorry, you're not even capable of feeling sorry, you fucking ego maniac!"

She was right but it didn't stop the rage in him from intensifying.

"I was sorry Olivia! don't you dare tell me I lied to you! I was fucking sorry but that was before I found out you quit, before I found out that you had no intention of ever talking to me again! Now, now you don't deserve for me to be sorry, cus' you had to go and make sure you hurt me that much more!"

"So that's what you think this is?!" Tears were now welling in her eyes, his words cutting her deeper than that knife ever did. That I'm just trying to hurt you more than you've hurt me? as if this is some kind of sick content?"

"It sure as hell seems like it!"

Olivia said nothing in response, she only went to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine, desperately needing an excuse to get away from him.

She felt like all the air had left the room.

And so did he.

But he wasn't going to run.

She wanted to run but this was her house.

She has nowhere to go.

"So that's what you wanted? To just cut me off and never talk to me again!" Now Elliot was the one with tears welling up in his eyes.

"I already told you, I needed space, I can't breathe when I'm around you anymore you fucking suffocate me!" she spat.

"And you think that I can breathe around you? You think that you don't suffocate me?" He shot back, his own tears threatening to fall.

"You have had no problem treating me like your personal fucking punching bag for the past month, you don't get to make this about you!"

"You're such a gosh damn child olivia!"

"Really? How many times have I saved your ass because you couldn't control yourself?"

"That's not the point!"

"You are too much Elliot! How can you expect me to look past you blaming me for your own choice? How can you expect me to be able to be around you anymore? All I see when I look at you, is resentment, resentment at me, for something you chose to do! And you know what? You're the damn child, because, I wouldve never, ever crossed that line!"

"Olivia don't you fucking get it? that's not why I'm angry!"

"Oh please." She scoffed.

"It's not! I'm not angry that I chose you, that was never why I was angry, my gosh that's not why I'm fucking standing here screaming at you in the middle of the night! That's not why I've been losing my mind ever since Gitano!"

"What the fuck is the reason then Elliot, tell me! tell me the fucking reason?!" She yelled, getting in his face again.

"Olivia you're out of your fucking mind if you really think I would've done anything differently if I could go back, do you really think I wouldn't do the same damn thing! do you really think I wouldn't still choose you if we found ourselves in the same situation tomorrow?"

She looked at him with a mixture of shock and something else he couldn't quite make out. "What the hell are you saying!"

"I'm not angry that I chose you! I'm angry that I don't regret choosing you! I'm angry that I'd choose you again without a single fucking ounce of hesitation!"

Olivia was taken aback by his words, by his confession. her heart beating so fast she swore he probably heard it echoing through the room.

"You don't think I feel the same fucking way Elliot?" She spat back, daring to to get even closer to him than she already was, he wasn't going to win this fight, not this time. "You're the idiot! For thinking that I could shoot you, that I could end your life, that I could live with myself if you died because of me! How could you be so stupid?!"

"That’s not the point Olivia, that’s not what this is about!" He yelled back.

"Then what is it about Elliot? What is it that you want from me?!”

"I want you to be honest!"

"Are you serious right now? I have been honest!"

"Bull shit Olivia! You weren't honest you ran away! But you know what? Maybe you're right, maybe this whole thing is my fault, cus' I should've known you would, it's what you do best anyway!"

He was in front of her, moving closer as if they weren't already unbearable closer because she was now grabbing the kitchen countertop for support as he cornered her against it.

They'd never fought like this before.

She said she couldn't take the way he had been looking at her, but the way he was looking at her now, was so much worse.

“fuck you Elliot! Get out!"

His eyes were laced with so much anger, so much pain and regret, but suddenly there was something different in his gaze, something that wasn't there before.

Desire.

"No."

did he really tell her no?

"Elliot, get out! she repeated lunging forward and attempting to push him away.

"What are you going to do if I don't?" He challenged, pushing her back against the counter top.

And his next move was something she never could've expected, not even in her wildest dreams.

Suddenly, the world went silent as he crashed his lips into hers.

#bensler #elliot stabler #law and order svu #olivia benson #svu #svu fanfiction #fanfiction #angst #tension #my ships #i will go down with this ship

[cabensqn]

i wonder if there was a case similar to 11x05/& 3x18 like early season 4 . somewhere in working on the case, alex and olivia get into a heated argument which olivia brings up what happened to sam without thinking and alex just goes silent and has no idea what to say

(i headcanon after 3x18 alex always got anxious with cases dealing with kids because she was scared of having something similar like what happened with sam. i don't think she ever forgave herself )

#shitpost #alex cabot #svu #law and order svu #cabenson #olivia benson #a random thought #idk what this is #headcanons #angst

[lesbehonestsstuff]

Chapter 10

Summary: Alex and Casey are called to the precinct where they find Olivia trying to get a little girl to open up.

I feel like this one needs a bit of explaining. I basically mixed episodes 16 and 20 from season 6. Alex got shot and went into witsec (I’ll write that one eventually) she came back because they caught Connors and Casey was attacked because of her relationship to Alex. It will make sense when you read it. I split this chapter into two and will post the second later.

Warnings: usual SVU things

Chapter 10/?

Olivia sat in the dark hospital room, Casey was sleeping, the pain meds having taken her out after Olivia spoke with her. Olivia tried to remain calm and calm Casey when she hadn’t remembered what had happened, knowing it was normal but it still left her deeply unsettled. The last few weeks, scratch that the last few months had been a complete shit show. All of it starting the night Alex died; well, she wasn’t dead, but only Olivia and Elliot knew that. They had promised Alex and the Marshalls they wouldn’t tell anyone, not even Casey, much to the detective's surprise as the marshals had insisted that it was to keep Casey and Niki safe. Alex had asked them, practically begged them, to look over her family, to take care of Casey, to not let her fall apart, and not let anything happen to her or to Niki. Of course, they had promised, and they had kept said promise, watching over them after Alex was gone.

Now Olivia looked at the beaten redhead in front of her and couldn't help but feel like she had broken that promise. She was so deep in thought she didn't notice the door opening and closing until a gasp followed by a broken sob broke the silence. Olivia turned her head so fast she almost got whiplash.

“Alex?” she whispered, unable to contain the shocked tone at seeing the blonde again.

Alex walked towards the bed, her eyes never leaving Casey. She reached out carefully, running the back of her hand over Casey's bruised cheek. Olivia watched as Alex's eyes flooded with tears until a few fell out. A minute must have passed, Olivia's mind still trying to comprehend how Alex was in front of her until Alex quite literally stood in front of her, anger running through her. “How could you let this happen?” she demanded, her voice breaking with emotion. “You promised me you were going to take care of her,” she took a deep breath, and Olivia could tell she was trying to compose herself.

Olivia ignored the questions and instead fired one of her own. “How are you here?”

Alex looked towards the door that was now blocked by what Olivia assumed were a couple of marshals. “One of the marshals let it slip that an ADA had been attacked, so Hammond told me what happened, and after that, he sure as hell wasn’t going to stop me from coming. Now answer me, what happened?” She was using the voice she reserved for when she dealt with criminals, and if Olivia didn't already understand why everyone was so intimidated by her, she sure as hell did now.

Olivia sighed, knowing there was really no beating around the bush now. “We’ve been dealing with four murders, the bullets matched your open homicide. Donnelly pulled Casey out of it the moment we figured out that whoever killed them also tried to kill you. We weren’t allowed to tell her, but you know how she is, she went digging and found out.” The squad had no idea how Casey had figured it out, but a day after they told her she couldn't keep on with the case, she had stormed into the precinct pissed at all of them for not telling her that they were looking into Alex’s murder.

Olivia sighed and continued when she saw Alex was waiting for her to go on. “Alex, she's been in really rough shape, and I guess she just lost it. She went into court the day of arraignment and started screaming at Connors until we got her out of the room. Thankfully, it was Judge Preston, and she let it slide. We tried to calm her down, but she screamed at us to leave her alone and went home after.”

Alex rubbed her hand over her face a couple of times. She knew Casey was going to fall apart; hell, if the roles were reversed, she would’ve lost her mind. “So how did she end up here?”

Olivia knew it was all still an ongoing investigation and they were still trying to piece everything together, but she also knew that she wasn’t going to be able to keep much from Alex. “We knew she had made herself a target the moment she stormed into that courtroom and screamed about him killing her wife. When the prosecution decided to charge Connors with your murder to be able to hold him, they must have figured that they could go after her to try to scare the DA’s office off the charges. I stayed with her because she insisted she needed to look into Connors while Elliot went to get Niki. I stepped out to get us coffee for five minutes, Alex, and when I came back, she was-”

Alex interrupted her, trying her hardest to not raise her voice and wake Casey up. “How could you leave her alone knowing she had a target on her back, Olivia?” She was fuming and pacing the room; it would do her no good to startle Casey, all things considered.

“Alex, we were in the DA’s office, in her office. There was no safer place for her to be,” Olivia reached out, trying to comfort her, but was quickly pushed back by the blonde.

Alex shook her head, her anger palpable. “Well, that clearly isn’t fucking true, look at her!” a sob bubbled up in her chest and broke free before she could stop it, Olivia taking the chance to try again, this time successfully wrapping Alex in a hug.

"Hey, shh," Olivia murmured, tightening her hold on Alex knowing the pressure would help ground her. "She's going to be okay."

Olivia kept holding her tightly, slowly rocking them back and forth. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what was going through Alex’s head. She felt her let out a shaky breath against her shoulder before she spoke again. “What did the doctors say?”

Olivia pulled back slightly, still holding Alex close to try to keep her calm. “She’s got a concussion, bruising, and a couple of broken ribs. They were worried about internal bleeding, but they cleared that. She doesn't remember the attack yet.”

“He didn’t…did he?” Alex asked her, and Olivia didn’t even need her to specify because she’s been working this job long enough to know what Alex meant.

She gave Alex another squeeze. “No, honey, I talked to the nurses, and it was cleared,” she reassured her, giving her a small kiss on the side of her head.

Olivia could see the relief flood Alex’s features. “Thank God,” another wave of sobs made their way through the silence in the room, and Olivia would be lying if she said it didn’t freak her out slightly to see Alex so distraught. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen her cry that much, and it was breaking her heart.

“Liv, how am I supposed to explain this? She thinks I’m dead; my daughter thinks I’m dead,” this subject was one that had kept Alex awake for so many nights in the past months. Her anxiety at an all-time high over how her wife and child would react to finding out she was alive. She knew that she was in an impossible situation and that Casey might even hate her for this. This definitely wasn’t how she had wanted to come back, adding to the pain and trauma, both physical and psychological, that her wife was dealing with by having her come back to life wasn’t ideal, but Alex couldn’t stay away. She just hoped Casey would understand.

“There was nothing you could do, Alex, you had to protect them,” Olivia rubbed her back, trying to keep Alex from getting more distressed.

Alex let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, look at how well that turned out,” she pulled back from Olivia’s arms, wiping her hands below her eyes to get rid of the last of her tears, taking a deep breath, and schooling her features. “I want him charged with my attempted murder and her assault.”

Olivia’s brow furrowed with concern at the implication of Alex’s words. “Honey, that would mean you’d have to leave witness protection,” she tried to reason, not sure it was the best idea considering what was happening. “We already have him for the four murders.”

Alex shook her head and started to pace the room once more. “I don’t care, if I can help get him convicted, I may have a shot at staying. Besides, if they find out I’m alive, it will only fuel the defense to push for perjury charges.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to Abbie, see what she thinks,” Olivia nodded, already trying to figure out how she was going to tell Abbie that Alex was alive and that they had perjured themselves when they arrested Connors.

The mention of Abbie Carmichael seemed to catch Alex off guard; they hadn’t seen each other for so long she wasn’t even sure Abbie was still in New York. “Carmichael is back?”

A faint smile tugged at Olivia’s face at Alex’s disbelief. “You really think Donnelly was going to let a random ADA handle this? You two are like family to her; she basically speed-dialed Abbie when Casey was taken off the case.”

Alex paced across the room for a little while, seemingly calmer now that she knew Abbie was the one handling the case. She finally pulled up a chair and sat next to Casey, very gently holding her hand, careful not to disturb the cables and wires that ran around her.

“How has she been doing? How’s Niki?” Alex's voice was soft, mindful that she was now closer to Casey, her eyes never leaving her as she asked Olivia for updates on her girls.

Olivia took a moment to gather her thoughts before responding, searching for a way she could tell Alex things that she was sure were only going to break her further. “Niki has been quiet. I don’t think she fully understood what was happening. She has lashed out at Casey a few times, but after, she just seems to go back into herself. After the funeral, she kept asking Casey when you were coming back. We’ve been taking turns taking care of her, making sure she’s with one of us whenever Casey is working.”

A heavy silence hung in the air as Alex absorbed the news, her expression a mixture of sadness and guilt. She knew the toll her death was going to take, and yet, she couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness that was trying to consume her, the nagging thought that she had failed them in some irreparable way.

“Casey, she's not doing great.” Her voice was soft, as if it was aware of how easily it could cut through Alex. “I'm going to be brutally honest with you; if it wasn’t for Niki, I don't think she would be here. Donnelly gave her a month's leave, and she was just going through the motions for Niki. She was almost catatonic during that time, and now she just throws herself into cases until she’s almost drowning in them.”

The weight of Alex's guilt seemed to multiply the more Olivia spoke as she grappled with the enormity of the situation and how much her wife had suffered because of her. “This is a whole fucking mess; what am I supposed to do?” she exclaimed, the frustration at being in this situation clear in her voice.

Olivia reached out, her hand coming to rest on Alex's shoulder in a gesture of comfort. “You tell her the truth, tell her it was the only way to keep them safe and that you didn’t have a choice. She’ll understand.”

Alex's frustration boiled over, her anger directed inward as she berated herself for the decisions that had led them to this point. "I hate Hammond, I hate Connors, fuck, I hate myself for not listening and dropping the case," she confessed, thinking about how Casey had supported her as she kept working the case but practically begged her the night they blew up the car and the agent with it to let someone else handle it. She was too stubborn and too determined to listen, and that set all of this in motion.

“You were just doing your job, Alex,” Olivia tried to reassure her, seemingly aware of how much Alex was berating herself in that moment.

“Yeah, and it cost me nearly eight months of my life with my wife and our daughter,” Alex whispered, defeated by the weight of regret that had clung to her since the night she had to leave.

Olivia didn’t have an answer for that; she could only imagine how hard all of this was for them. When Casey shifted a little in her sleep, she got Alex’s attention again, knowing the redhead was going to wake up soon. “Do you want me to stay or do you want to be alone with her?”

Alex shook her head and rubbed her thumb over Casey’s hand. “Please stay; I don’t know how she’s going to react to seeing her wife back from the dead.”

Olivia pulled up another chair and settled in beside Alex, wrapping one of her arms around Alex and letting her lean her head against her shoulder. “Okay, honey, I’ll stay.”

#alex cabot #casey novak #calex #casey novak x alex cabot #law and order svu #olivia benson #all aboard the angst train

[cissyenthusiast010155]

She’s Been to Hell And Back ~S13!Alex Cabot xFem Wife!Reader(feat. Casey, Rita, Liz, Liv & Amanda)

Summary— Alex is kidnapped and tortured. That’s pretty much it. It’s a very long and indulgent fic of Alex x Reader.

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: [MATURE], explicit torture, violence, kidnapping, humiliation, implied torture, angst, anxiety attacks, knife, guns, torture devices, branding, cigarette burns, burning, begging, crying, and so much more mature content, Rita being an aunt and a boss bitch, Liz losing her shit, Munch being munch, Amaro being an asshat, Casey barely keeping it together, read at your own risk!!

Enjoy (;

You stepped into the SVU squad room, looking around at the major bustling and chaos of the room. You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt anxiously, biting your lips and nails as well. You were frozen. You couldn’t process it all. Your eyes then landed on a person who you knew could help.

Casey.

Casey had been the one to call you. She hadn’t told you much, only that you need to come to svu immediately. You had dropped work for this. Left straightaway. It all made you extremely anxious. Why would they need you…? Unless…

You shook the terrible thoughts coming up out of your mind, instead springing into action. You walked up to Casey in the middle of the chaos.

“Hey Case!” You called to the redhead who was swiftly fluttering through pages.

Casey jumped at her name and her eyes shot up to you. Suddenly her gaze softened and she looked at you with concern.

“Y/N’s here!!” Casey shot across the room, and everyone practically stopped in their tracks and looked at you.

You gulped and looked around anxiously, pulling your bag closer to you defensively.

“Case… what’s going on…?” You stammered.

Casey couldn’t meet your gaze. Olivia suddenly came out of the Captain’s office and walked through the squad room, followed by Cragen peeking out of his office, telling everyone to get back to work. The shuffling and bustling immediately picked back up again. The noise wasn’t helping you one bit.

You suddenly felt a hand on your back shoulder, and you jumped slightly. You turned around, relaxing a bit to see it was only Olivia with a warm and caring smile.

“Y/N, let’s go into Cragen’s office, yeah…?” The brunette gently suggested.

After you slowly nodded with parted lips of confusion, Olivia led you by her hand on your back to the Captain’s office. She opened the door for you and closed it behind the two of you. Both SVU members looked tense and concerned.

“What exactly… is going on…?” You tensed out through partially gritted teeth, frustration now hitting you in waves.

Olivia guided you to sit down with her, before she but her lip and explained,

“Y/N… Alex didn’t show up for court a couple of hours ago… We… don’t know where she is. She’s not answering her phone, we can’t track it, it’s dead.”

Your heart sunk. And there was now a limp in your throat. Your heart only raced faster and you suddenly felt dizzy.

Olivia could tell that this was a lot to take in, so she gently held you on both sides of your arms.

“That’s not all…” Cragen sighed.

You looked up at the Captain with glossy eyes and a trembling lip.

“W-what…?” You stammered, bringing your arms into your chest and holding yourself.

“We think Alex was… taken.” He explained slowly.

“W-why would you think that…??” You exclaimed, the anger in you now swelling.

Cragen and Olive exchanged looks. Cragen nodded and relented into the brunettes insistence.

“Come on, let me show you something.” Olivia softly spoke.

She led you outside to the squad room and the media corner. Next to all the screens there was a board. A board of at least 100 photographs. And they were all of Alex. Alex and all the people she interacted with. You were on there, and so was Olivia, and Casey, and Rita, and Liz, and Amanda, and so on.

The pictures were practically Alex’s entire life since she’d been with you. This was years of photos. Some of them looked like they could have been snapped by a news reporter outside the courts. But others, much more intimate pictures of the two of you, could have only been captured by active camera surveillance.

You gasped, bringing your hand to your mouth, as you let out a choked sob that you couldn’t contain anymore. Your stomache sunk. You proceeded to collapse on the floor, and were lucky that Amanda was right by you. The Southern blonde was quick to scoop you up and guide you to take a seat in her desk chair.

She then tried to talk to you, but your mind was spiraling. Suddenly a big boom of stacks of paperwork falling across the squad room brought you back to reality with a jolt.

“Y/N? Y/N, there you are, ‘hun. Hey. Heyyy. It’s going to be okay, alright…?” Amanda reassured you.

“But h-how… do you know that…?” You choked out, the tears continuing to pour out.

At that, Amari and Fin walked into the squad room.

“It’s out lucky day! Perp’s blood was at the scene, that girl put up a fight…!” Amara exclaimed, not having realized that you were there.

You immediately stood up and turned to face Amaro. Nick’s eyes went wide and his face struggled to give away the fact that he knew he had fucked up.

“What scene? What…?? What happened??” You exclaimed with a gasp, frustration and anger running through your veins once more.

Amanda pulled you towards her and into her embrace. Her touch calmed you a little, but right now, you really needed it to be Alex’s touch. After a minute, her hug actually and surprisingly helped.

“Thanks…” you muttered.

Amanda shrugged and smiled lightly, as if it was nothing.

“Learned that in Atlanta, had a partner who had anxiety attacks.” The blonde told you, “It’s a grounding thing.”

You listened and nodded along. But your mind quickly started to wander back to Alex again.

“Wait what scene? Do you know where she was taken…??” You asked.

Amanda sighed and stood up, telling you to wait here. She checked in with Cragen in his office, before coming back to you and grabbing her keys.

“Come on, let’s go for a ride.” Amanda told you, indicating for you to follow her.

You gulped and nodded, silently following the Southern blonde with your wobbly legs. You two got into her patrol car, and she began driving. The ride was silent. You had now become numb, your feelings too much to bear. You didn’t want to go down the rabbit hole of what could go wrong… So you stayed in the ignorance of feeling numb.

After about 15-20 minutes, Amanda pulled up to you and Alex’s shared brownstone. You gulped as your eyes widened as it began to click for you.

“This is…” you stammered, trying to find the words.

“Come on, Darling. I’ll explain inside.” Amanda gently reassured you, squeezing your left hand caringly, before getting out of the car.

You followed the blonde detective up the steps of your brownstone and inside. No one was here anymore. But it was a mess, all taped up with crime scene tape and marked with evidence markers and such. It made your stomache flip upside down when you saw blood on the kitchen doorway.

“What Amaro said, that asshole… was that Alex didn’t go down without a fight…” Amanda explained, taking your hand in reassurance as you walked through the torn apart apartment.

“Alex managed to make her kidnapper bleed.” Amanda breathed out.

At that you looked at the woman with wide eyes.

“So you can find out who they are?” You immediately asked.

Amanda bit her inner cheek and looked way slightly.

“Yeaaa ideally yes… but we already ran it, and he’s not in the system…” she explained.

Any and all hope that you had just gained was lost all over again. Amanda squeezed your hand again in reassurance.

“So what’s next…? What can I do?” You asked, desperate to do anything, to get her back, to see her again.

“First, we are going to walk through your place and go through the events, at least what we know. See if any of it jogs your memory of like someone who would want to harm Alex…” Amanda breathed out.

You shuttered and nodded slowly.

“Then when Olivia and Cragen give the go ahead, I’ll take you back to svu and Olivia will properly interview you…”

You gulped, yet nodded again.

“Ok, let’s do it…” you breathed out.

Amanda nodded and guided you by your hand, walking you through the scene. All your feelings came crashing back as the blonde detective walked you through the theory SVU had of what happened.

Alex hadn’t even left for the office yet, having not needed to go in as early that day… You and already left for work, when someone had come to the door. Alex must have known the person, because she let them in (or they had a gun). The main struggle was in the kitchen. SVU assumed that Alex had most likely tried to reason with whomever the perp was, but it went south in the kitchen. Alex’s blood was on the counter, in a circular mark that upheld that the assailant had violently cracked Alex’s head down upon the counter. There were also blood splatters of Alex’s going from the kitchen and out the door, by the amount and pattern of the blood, it was assumed that the assailant had shot Alex somewhere in the leg, but hadn’t hit a major artery or vein. Luckily, on the kitchen doorway, there was Alex’s bloody partial print, but there blood wasn’t hers. The theory was that before the shooter had incapacitated her, she got a swing or two in, and then when he dragged her out, she made one last attempt to grasp the doorway, leaving the perps blood.

Your heart was pounding in your ears three times as fast as earlier. Tears were pouring down your face and you hadn’t even realized it. Amanda squeezed your hand tighter, as she asked you if it sounded like someone you knew or if it triggered any memories.

“N-no… Mm sorry…” you gasped out in between sobs.

The Southern blonde now came in front of you and took both of your hands.

“Don’t be, you did so good, Y/N.” Amanda comforted you, before receiving a ding on her phone and checking her notifications.

It was Olivia telling Amanda to bring you back. You spent the car ride opposite of the last, filled with all the emotions. You were distraught, and sad, and afraid, and angry, and infuriated, and so much more. Your head was swimming, no drowning it it all. You just wanted a break. You wanted Alex safe in your arms.

Amanda led you back into the squad room, passing you off to Olivia with a reassuring smile. Olivia took you into the family interview room, one that was less jarring than the brick and mortar perp interview/confession rooms. She had you sit on the couch next to her.

“Y/N, Amanda told me that you couldn’t think of anything at the crime scene…”

“Don’t… call it that…” you sputtered, having cried yourself out in the car and now hicupping instead.

Olivia sighed, “Of course, I’m sorry— At your and Alex’s home…”

You had your hands clasped in your lap and you were rocking back and forth anxiously. The brunette detective reached for your hands with her hands and tried to physically comfort you, but you jerked in response, starting to hyperventilate. The brunette detective was quick to retract and stick with her interview questions.

“Besides what you didn’t think of at the crim— your and Alex’s place— Can you think of anyone who would want to hurt you…?” Olivia prodded gently.

You shook your head and then hiccuped. Alex had her hair share of criminals who didn’t like her, but nothing she ever found concerning enough to share with you.

“Alright, what about anyone following you recently…? Notice any reoccurring faces…?” She asked.

You thought about it, going through your last months, if not years in your mind.

“I… don’t think so, no…” you stammered, with two more hiccups.

“Alright… Can I get you some water?”

“Yes please…” you whispered, not being able to handle the eye contact, so you simply shut your eyes.

Olivia muttered something with a hum, letting go of your hands, and leaving the room with the door ajar. You just sat there, with your eyes closed and shaking in your boots. You could hear the noisy clamor of the squad room from the ajar door. It was still just as chaotic, if not more. Tensions were high, and fuses were short.

Before Olivia could come back with your water, a familiar voice boomed while entering the squad room.

“Who the hell didn’t inform me about Alex going missing, and why the fuck did I need to find out like this?!”

You immediately stood up with a jolt, scrambling into the squad room to see Rita standing furiously in the middle of the room, while holding up a manila envelope with her name on it. Calhoun’s determined scowl faltered as she noticed you in the corner. She immediately lowered her mask of defense lawyer and rushed over to you.

Her hands were all of over you, checking to see if you were okay. They landed on each side of your face, as her concerned gaze looked at you.

“Hey Baby… How are you holding up…?” She asked, her eyes still scanning you up and down, before landing on your gaze when she expected an answer.

But all she got was a choked sob from you, your tears now back in full swing. The older woman immediately pulled you in for a hug, which you happily accepted. She hugged you tight and with fierce love, you could feel every fiber of her being that cared through the embrace. When Rita let you go, you wheezed and little and whipped your tears away.

Olivia had by now gotten your water and caught wind of the commotion, now coming up to you and Rita. Rita sent daggers to the brunette detective, making Olivia stop a couple feet away from you.

“What’s in the envelope…?” Olivia quipped, before extending her hand with your water in it.

Rita took the water, examined it, then gave it to you, instructing you to drink, before she considered answering Olivia. When she did, her eyes went sad. The main SVU members had surrounded the two of you, all curious as to what Rita had brought. She opened the envelope and pulled out a hard drive.

“Aha! My area of expertise…!” Munch exclaimed, taking the hard drive from Rita and going over to the media corner to open whatever files were contained within the stick.

You went to follow the rest do the team to see what was on the file, but Rita grabbed you by your arm before you could get too far. You turned back to Rita and looked at the woman who had been your mentor, aunt, mom, practically everything with confusion and glossy eyes.

“ ‘Hun, you may not want to see that…” Rita sighed with deep sadness in her eyes.

She had already seen it.

Your eyes hardened and you frowned. You quickly pulled your hand out of Rita’s grasp.

“Like hell I won’t…” you exclaimed, then turning around and walking up behind the team who were all gathered around Munch who was about to click play on a video file.

Rita came up behind you, her eyes staying on you the entire time as the video played. She watched your face whiten, watched your face wash over in horror, then a wave of anger. She watched your shock, then followed by uncontrollable sadness and tears.

Alex was in the centre of the screen, tied up and hanging by her wrists around a rusty metal bar running along the wall. Her head was hanging low. Her hair frazzled and tired. Her clothing was dirty, torn, and bloody. There was a light sway of her body as it hung from the beam. Her shoes had been discarded. The bottom half of her her stomache was on display, as her shirt was being strained from the position. Her left lower leg was bleeding, presumably from the gunshot from the struggle at the brownstone. Her forehead was all bloody from the blow to the counter.

Suddenly, a person stepped into the frame. They were wearing all black and had their face and voice masked. He had some kind of black colored weapon, almost baton looking in his hand. He laughed wickedly into the camera, before turning his attention to Alex.

“As I can’t torture all of you, unfortunately… One will have to do…” The man tilted his head as he turned on the stick and plunged it against Alex’s exposed side stomache with a cackle.

Alex’s body convulsed and jolted uncontrollably as she was she was hit with volts and volts of burning electricity. She let out a desperate groan, which turned into a silent scream as tears poured down her face, as she fought against her restraints and against the volts. After a couple solid seconds of this, the man finally retracted the insane taser torture. As he moved the torture device back, Alex’s freshly burned skin could be seen, a fresh branded circle on the side of her stomache. The man proceeded to repeat this process for multiple rounds. And the whole time, Alex fought and screamed and convulsed, as tears ran down her face and shirt. Finally, after five burning rounds, Alex passed out. And the man stopped, looking to the camera with a grin.

“No point if the bitch isn’t awake…” He chuckled wickedly, “And that was only Act 1… Dedicated to Detective Olivia Benson…”

Rage was quick to take over your enter being, all the sadness quickly forgotten. You nearly assaulted Olivia right then and there. But Rita saw this coming, and she was quick to hold you back as you attempted to pounce on the brunette detective across from you.

You scowled and fought back, the team all taking a step back from you, all of them just as shocked as you were. But Rita held you firm.

“Shhhh, Baby, it’s okay… Calm down…” Rita cooed into the shell of your ear, “It’s going to be okay, it’s not Olivia’s fault…”

After a couple seconds, Rita managed to get you to promise to not punch the older brunette detective in the face. So she let you go. You huffed and didn’t know what to do. You were hit with another wave of sudden sadness.

As you were having your life crisis, the team began speculating and conversating about what they could learn from the video and how they could find Alex. You weren’t able to focus on them or anything anymore, everything started to just fade away into black.

When you woke up, you were in Rita’s lap, back in the family interview room. For a split second, you felt at peace’s and then reality smacked you back in the face. Rita was beginning to tell you that you had passed out when you began to freak out.

“Hey, Hey. It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re safe, it’s okay.” Rita comforted you, as you sat up startled and distraught.

“N-no it’s n-not… Alex my Lex she’s… she’s…” you choked out, hyperventilating.

Rita was quick to take you into her arms on the couch and comfort you. She ran her fingers through your hair, she rubbed your arms and hands and side, calming you as best as you could.

“Hey. We are going to find this sycko who did this… ok? The team is on it…” Rita insisted and ensured you, “Take some deep breaths for me, Baby…”

You nodded shakily, your entire body shaking in Rita’s arms, as you took some deep breaths. You began to doze off in the woman’s arms, Rita was quick to encourage you to not fight it. And so you dozed off…

You awoke startled once more by a shriek echoing through the squad room and into where you and Rita were. You practically fell off the couch and scrambled out to the squad. Rita was swift behind you. Your eyes fell on Casey, who now had a Manila envelope in her hand with her name on it.

“Where did you get that??” Olivia questioned the redhead.

“I… a junior officer dropped it off… I don’t know, sorry” Casey stammered, handing it off to Olivia who opened it.

“Fin, Amanda, go find that junior officer, maybe he can give us a lead on this guy.” Cragen told his team.

Fin and Amanda nodded and left the room at once. Olivia had found another hard drive, having passed it to Munch to analyze. Rita’s eyes widened as Munch went to press play, and she tried to pull you away once more, but you only pulled away from her and to the screen with more ferocity. With a click from Munch, the video began…

Alex was still in the same position. She was awake again. But barely. Drool was coming from the sides of her mouth as her head lolled down. Her breathing was heavy and labored, affecting her entire body as it hung from the rope attached to her wrists and around the beam.

The man then came back into the camera screen. He held a knife in his hand this time. After taunting the camera, he stalked up to Alex, his free hand roughly grabbing and wrenching her blouse open. The buttons clattered to the floor as the perp moved the torn blouse aside, showing off Alex’s black bra and exposed chest and stomache.

Alex seemed to barely register anything until the knife began slicing her chest. She let out a howl at the pain, deep enough to hurt, but not deep enough to kill. He continued these slices, along her stomache, along her clothed arms as well, and all the way up to her shoulders and neck. He seemed to only be egged on by Alex’s groans and cries, which very quickly turned into begging and pleading for him to stop. Once the man reached her neck, he held the knife firmly along her throat, before speaking. The dozens of cuts all bleed into one another, practically covering Alex’s entire upper body in blood.

“Act 2 is not as bad, because you just sucked at your job…” The man sneered, “But trust me, the next one… I’d be surprised if the bitch doesn’t die… Dedicated to Rita Calhoun.”

Your knees buckled and you collapsed on the floor as Alex let out a particular blood curteling scream in the video. Tears streamed down your face as you couldn’t bring yourself to watch the rest of the video, the audio already taunting you enough. You felt your body go limp and you began to slouch and fall from your knees to the ground completely.

“Turn it off! Off!!” Rita yelled enraged, before dropping to the ground with you and comforting you.

Munch turned the video off, but not before the man was able to dedicate the video to Rita. Rita’s eyes widened and her throat went dry. The whole team stared at the two of you. Rita was dumbfounded at what this had to do with her, but she was quick to spring into action over it.

“Novak. Take Y/N to the diner down the street. She probably hasn’t eaten all day.” Rita commanded the room.

Casey’s eyes widened, and she immediately nodded in understanding.

“Of course, Rita.” Casey said, hurriedly coming over to the two of you.

You tried to protest as Rita handed you over to Casey, but Rita was stern and quickly silenced you, not that you could say anything right now with how overwhelmed you were. Casey was quick to file you out of the room.

You didn’t even remember leaving SVU or getting to the diner, all you remember is suddenly sitting with Casey looking at the late lunch menu. You were shaking and fidgeting like crazy.

Casey reached her hand across the table and squeezed your balled up fist reassuringly. You looked up to the redhead with your stained and now completely dried out eyes, having cried it all out for the second time today.

“Hey. Let’s get you some food, huh…?” Casey hummed.

You nodded slowly. The waitress came, but you couldn’t hear a thing. Casey looked at you with care and understanding, ordering for the both of you. Then once the waitress had left, her attention was on you once more.

“C-Casey…?” You whispered.

Casey leaned in and softly spoke,

“Yes…?”

“How… how are you okay…?” You whispered, a single tear rolling down your cheek as you blinked, “She’s… she’s like your best friend and you hers…”

Casey sighed and squeezed your hand again.

“Y/N, look at me.” Casey hummed, her tone breaking in a falter.

You finally looked at Casey again, and took in her appearance. You suddenly noticed the tear stains on her face and how crazy her long, normally well curled hair was.

“I am not okay. I just… suck at showing my emotions…” Casey explained gently, her own eyes beginning to gloss over as she became more vulnerable.

Your lips pressed together and you smiled lightly, nodding in understanding. You gasped slightly as you felt your phone vibrate once in your pocket. You then felt another vibration. Then one last final third vibrating. You pulled your hands into your lap, away from Casey. The redhead looked at you concerningly.

“Everything okay…?” Casey asked.

“Mm yea… just… need the restroom…” you muttered, before getting out of the diner booth and going to the back where the bathroom was.

Casey nodded, watching you leave, before getting on her phone and updating the team, as well as getting updated by what they had figured out. She let the team know that you were doing okay and that she was about to feed you. She sighed and let out a light groan, trying to process the weight of what was happening, while reading the update from the group chat.

Munch had analyzed the background of the video, having figured out that Alex was being kept in some warehouse. Which one, they had no clue.

Fin and Amanda had gotten no leads from the junior officer, apparently the envelope had been given to him by a homeless looking guy who disappeared as soon as he dropped off the package at the precinct.

Rita, Olivia, and Nick had been spending their time looking over old case files and anything that connected Olivia and Rita along with possibly Alex, in hope to find a perp or bad guy who got away somehow and wanted revenge.

When Casey was done being caught up, the food had come. But you were still in the bathroom… The redhead grew suspicious, getting up from the table and walking to the back of the diner to the bathroom. She knocked on the door, but received no answer. Quickly, she tried your cell. Straight to voicemail.

~~

As you stepped into the bathroom, you couldn’t shake the terrible feeling about the texts, so you locked the door and immediately opened your phone. The texts were all from one unknown number.

Y/N L/N.

Then a video link.

Act 3. Elizabeth Donnelly

You didn’t even click or see the video. Not yet. You saw Liz’s name and couldn’t think of anything else. Liz would know what to do. She always knew what to do.

You carefully escaped from Casey’s gaze and hold out of the back of the diner, rushing to catch a cab to the DA’s office where Liz would most likely be. The ride wasn’t too long, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to press play on that video. Liz would know what to do. She always did.

Once your reached Liz’s office, you didn’t even knock, simply barging in. Liz was talking with a few DA’s, and she was about to dig into whoever interrupted them, but then she saw your state.

“Leave. All of you, now!” Liz ordered, shooing the attorneys away.

You quickly shut and locked the door behind you. Liz looked you up and down.

“Y/N, what is going on…?” The older woman spoke firmly.

You were hyperventilating again. You could sit, you were pacing. But you had to tell her something. And you tried, but you couldn’t bring yourself to explain. Liz stood up, recognizing the signs of an anxiety attack, and coming over to you in concern. She guided you to sit with her on her office couch, asking you again, more softly this time,

“Honey, what’s the matter…?”

You let out a choked sob, bringing out your phone and clicking the video. That was the only thing you could think of. Liz watched your every movement. You pressed play.

Alex was hanging as in the last video, but her blouse was completely gone. Her breathing was shallow and barely there, but she was still alive.

The man showed back up, coming up to the camera to say hello, before quickly turning his attention to Alex once more with the same knife as before in his hands. He grabbed Alex’s chin and pulled her face to meet his gaze. Alex tried to growl and fight back, but the exhaustion on her face was evident. He had probably drugged her up real good so that she didn’t stand a chance… While the man held her face rough with one hand, his other with the knife sliced her bra into pieces. He then let her face go with a smack! before tearing the bra off her body. The vulnerable whimper that Alex let out was distinct. And it only fed into the man’s fantasies. He then bent down to her bottom half and ran the knife down her side, followed by his hands ripping her skirt open. He wrenched that off her as well, throwing it aside. Alex was now left only in her panties. She closed her eyes and went limp, as the man trailed the knife in between her legs and up against her clothed core. He then moved to her thigh and ripped her underwear off with a snap! until she was fully nude, hanging for everyone to see. Another hopeless whimper left Alex as the man suddenly smacked her ass.

Before the video could finish, Liz slammed the phone down onto the ground, effectively pausing it. Your eyes went wide and you looked at the older woman with an open mouth. She looked horrified. But Rage was quick to replace the shock.

“What?! Liz wait—!!” You exclaimed as the blonde stood up and shook her white knuckle fists.

Liz turned back to you, looking you directly in the eyes.

“What in the actual fuck is going on, Y/N?!Why in the hell are you making me watch my daughter be tortured by some psycho???” Liz shrilled.

“Lower your voice!!” You harshly whispered, swiftly standing up and getting in her face, and effectively shutting Liz up for a second with how stern you and suddenly become.

“Then you better goddamn tell me what is going on…” Liz growled.

“OK—” you exclaimed, placing your hand on your forehead and sighing.

You say down again as the overwhelming sadness hit you once more.

“Lex… was taken… didn’t show up in court…” you stammered, “Guy’s been sending… videos…” you choked up.

Liz then picked up the phone from the floor, sitting back down next to you in silence for a moment.

“How many?”

You were jolted out of your grief by her words.

“W-what…?” You stammered.

“How many videos… did he send…?” Liz spoke, trying to sound in control but her own tone faltering and cracking a little.

“This is the third. He usually talks about it in the video…” you said quietly.

This made Liz look at you and then back to the phone. She turned it on and clicked play again. You both sat in anticipation as the video continued.

Alex’s bloody, bruised, and now completely exposed body came back on screen, right where it had left off. Alex flinched as the man smacked her ass a second time.

“Shut up Bitch!! Take it, We all know you want it!!!” The man jeered, before smacking her ass a third time and then grabbing and fondling her tits.

Alex tried to pull away from his touch, she tried to yell or cry or shout, but she found that her body was not taking orders from her mind anymore. Her body had gone limp. But she could feel everything. She could see everything in her line of sight. She could hear everything.

When she went completely silent, unable to protest anymore, the man cackled again, louder and more taunting than ever. He then proceeded to come up to the camera.

“Now, I’m not gonna show you this next bit… I’m going to save that for when you find her dead body… But Act 3 is dedicated to that bitch judge, Elizabeth Donnelly…” the man jeered.

The video then went static for a second. Then the camera came back on and showed an unconscious Alex Cabot, swaying lightly back and forth. Where her body wasn’t sliced and cut, it was bruised. Where her body wasn’t bloody, it was covered in dirt, like it had been thrown at her. The faint and small outlines of cigarette burns were trailed across both of her arms and thighs. Her mouth was filled with an oozing her own blood, as if 100 fists had hit her. And her right tit was branded with a symbol, difficult to make out. All of this and so much worse would be discovered had been done to her…

The video ended and silence took the room. Suddenly you heard crying. You looked over and Liz was hunched over and crying in her lap. You weren’t sure what to do, haven’t ever seen the powerful, older woman so vulnerable before. You just instinctively wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.

“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t… didn’t know what to do… I thought if I came to you…” you rambled, now feeling guilty for having brought this to Liz.

“Hush… none of that… ssnot your fault.” Liz breathed out in sniffles, accepting your embrace and pressing into you even more, “I know she’s not… my real daughter but if anything happens to her… I… I don’t know what I’d do…”

You two sobbed in each other’s arms for a while. It was only when someone came banging on Liz’s office door with no sudden warning that the two of you jumped apart and off the couch. You went to unlock the door and storming in came a furious Rita.

Rita wouldn’t even hear it from you. She took your phone immediately. All the way back to the squad room, the car was silent between the three of you.

Casey had figured out that you had run away, and she had immediately called SVU. They had divided and conquered all the places they thought you’d go. And the second Liz wasn’t answering her own phone, Casey knew that was where you had gone.

Back in the squad room, Munch began analyzing your phone. You sat in one of the detectives chairs, fidgeting and bouncing your leg, under Rita’s intense gaze. She had made you tell the team everything that had happened. She was not going to let you slip away again. Over her dead body.

Liz immediately threw a fit and started ordering people around. After looking at the files that Olivia and Amara had compiled, it took her five minutes to put it together. Liz found a perp who had escaped jail, whom Olivia had interrogated, Rita had represented and lost, She had judged, and Alex had prosecuted and won.

The second the team had their perp, they began canvassing possible areas. The man leased a piece of warehouse property near the river as it was discovered, so that’s where everyone rushed to go to.

Everyone was on edge.

“I’m gonna go!” You exclaimed to Rita.

“No you are not!!” She shrieked back.

“Why not?!! She’s the love of my life!!!” You yelled, tears running down your face as you screamed.

“Because she might be dead, Y/N!!!!”

Practically the entire squad room went silent at this. They all stared at you and Rita. But quickly, they all began their work again, and the team ran out to the location to find Alex. Both Rita and Liz held you back as you fought to get outside and in a squad car. But they held the upper hand. You collapsed in both of their arms, desperate and exhausted, completely out of energy.

~~

The team did indeed find Alex, although she was barely breathing. They immediately sent her to Mercy’s, where Rita and Liz already had you there waiting. You sat in the waiting room, in between the two woman, shaking and fidgeting restlessly.

Hours went by with no update. Eventually, it was all too much for you. You leaned against Rita’s shoulder for some comfort and before you could stop yourself, you were falling asleep.

~~

“Y/N, love, wake up…” Liz gently woke you, making you snort lightly as you came back to reality.

She was offering you a hand, which you eagerly took to stand up. The nurse came up to you.

“You may see her now. One at a time please.” The nurse told the group of you.

Everyone looked at you and pretty much all agreed in unison and with mere looks that you would be the person going in to see her first.

You entered the hospital room, and immediately came up to Alex’s bedside. You felt relief wash over you that she was here with you and that she was okay. You held one of her hands as she came to.

“Mmm heyyyy…” Alex said in an extremely scratchy and hoarse voice, her head turning slowly towards you.

Tears of joy began to spill out and down your cheeks. You squeezed your wife’s hand lovingly.

“Hi Lex…” you whispered, “How are you feeling…?”

“Like someone pumped an entire pharmacy through me…” Alex groaned lightly, “mm pretty sure I was drugged… most of the time I couldn’t move or speak…” her tone got sad and overwhelmed, as tears started to form on her sapphire eyes.

“Hey hey, it’s okay.” You comforted Alex, who met your gaze again, smiling at the sight of you, “You’re safe with me now, that’s all that matters…”

Alex lightly squeezed your hand now as she smiled. It would be a long road to recovery, but the important thing is that you would be with her every step of the way.

Her squeeze on your hand faded, which you just attributed to the blonde being tired. But then her eyes closed… and then you couldn’t hear her breathing. You jolted when the heart rate monitor started going off.

Suddenly, there were 4-5 hospital staff members in the room, pushing you aside. You stood in the corner of the room, with your hands over your mouth, silent tears flooding down your face. You heard the designated coding sound come from the machine, and you collapsed onto the floor. Everything went numb.

You could vaguely hear a nurse giving you her condolences. You didn’t even reliaze that you were walking out of the room until you stood in front of the group that loved Alex the most. You were violently shaking, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

Liz was the first own to come up to you, to see what was wrong. And Liz was the first one to understand… You fell to your knees and cried into your hands, not caring anymore. You’d lost the love of your life, your wife, your everything.

Liz looked more emotional and out of control than she’d ever been. She kept stammering that it couldn’t be true, but once a doctor came out and told the entire group the news, Liz let out a distraught wail, covering her face in her hands as she sobbed. Casey immediately buried herself in Liz’s embrace which Liz of course accepted. The last thing you remember about that day was Rita coming up to you and embracing you on the floor…

~~~

Alexandra Cabot Masterlist

Olivia Benson Masterlist

Casey Novak Masterlist

Elizabeth Donnelly Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

Rita Calhoun Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

Amanda Rollins Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

#alex cabot #alexandra cabot #alex cabot x reader #Alex Cabot angst #Ada Cabot #Ada Alex Cabot #Ada Alexandra Cabot #Alexandra Cabot x reader #Alexandra Cabot angst #stephanie march #olivia benson #elizabeth donnelly #liz donnelly #casey novak #rita calhoun #john munch #donald cragen #fin tutuola #nick amaro #law and order #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #law and order fanfiction #law and order fic #law & order #law & order svu #law & order special victims unit #svu #SVU angst #law and order x reader

[x-bluefire-heart-x]

Time Apart

Hiya! So apologises for the delay in this request my life got a little hectic so didn’t have the time or energy to really write but I have finished this and the other request. I will post it tomorrow.

  @gh0stgirl0013​   requested a fic where Y/N and Olivia are married and Y/n is out of state undercover and they both meet people that make them question their marriage. I hop you enjoy this and that it was what you wanted from this request. I also hope I made it angsty enough!  The reader is gender neutral. 

Masterlist

Prompt List

You sat on your hotel bed staring at your phone, Olivia’s number flashing on the screen. Your finger hovered over the accept button but for some reason you couldn’t bring yourself to press it. The golden band around your left ring finger glinted in the light coming through the window, you glanced at it as the call finally ended. Normally you know you would receive a voice message, Olivia’s voice telling you she loved you and hoped you were alright and to “please love, call me back when you can” but now, now you were unsure. You were unsure about a lot of things.

The past few months had been difficult, not so much your undercover work, no that that was relatively easy in comparison to the current state of your relationship with Olivia Benson. You had noticed over the time that you had been away from New York that something had changed, Olivia didn’t try to contact you as much and you knew your wife, you knew she was hiding something and feeling guilty. You had been out of state on a joint undercover operation with the FBI, you had been gone for nearly eight months. It was difficulty being away from Olivia at first but as you noticed the change in her and how strained the conversation’s became you started to dread the return to New York and to the apartment you shared with her.

You knew of course about the big take down her squad had just completed after her Captain was framed with murder, and the number of corrupt members of the justice system were taken down. And at first you thought that was the cause of the problem but the guilty look in her eyes that she tried to hide didn’t start until after that, until she started talking about the new ADA that had transferred to Manhattan. Rafael Barba. He was suddenly all your wife could talk about and you knew she was just glad to have a competent ADA. But she slowly stopped talking about him and that was a sign. You knew the man hadn’t left his position as the ADA as you could still find articles about the cases he tried. The articles sometimes included phots of him standing on the steps on the court house. And over time those photos started to always include Olivia standing right beside him. And in nearly every single one of them they were staring at each other. The ones taken close enough allowed you to see the look on her face as she watched him, and you could see a similar look on his face. One that you recognised from photos taken of you staring at your wife.

You sighed and threw your phone onto the bed beside you as you flopped backwards. You threw an arm over your eyes, clenching your jaw as your mind raced. You tried to tell yourself that nothing was going on that it was just looks, that Olivia would never do that to you but a part of you wondered. A small part of you whispered that Olivia was inviting him back to your apartment, to the bed you share with her. That he was sitting at the table you two had picked out together, drinking coffee from your mug. That he was getting to see the cute little habits Olivia had in the morning, that he was brushing her hair back from her neck to kiss it while she made pancakes, humming a song under her breathe.  

You felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes and you groaned out loud, gritting your teeth. You sat back up and looked back at your phone. One phone call, maybe a video call and you could ask. Ask about the strain that appeared in their relationship around the same time that he appeared in Olivia’s life, ask about the look of guilt that would be in her eyes. Your phone screen lit up and you were expecting to see Olivia’s name again but it wasn’t. A soft smile appeared on your face but you groaned again and pressed your palms into your eyes.

“I’m a hypocrite,” you muttered. The name on your phone screen was your partner in the undercover job. They were sweet and soft, and at first it had been mere friendship but after Olivia started acting different you allowed yourself to flirt back with them.

You loved Olivia, that was still true. You didn’t think it would be possible to stop loving that woman and you also can’t blame Rafael for falling for her either. She was a force of nature in the best possible way. You just were unsure of what the future held for you two. You knew Olivia was thinking the same. Five years of marriage after almost ten years together meant you knew each well enough to know that Olivia was trying to work out how to bring it up. As you knew she noticed a similar look in your eyes on the few times either of you video called and the other actually answered.  

You couldn’t imagine your life without her but you also didn’t know if you could still be together. You would try of course but you didn’t want to come to despise going home and seeing her. That would be worse, as the two of you had been friends before you became a couple. You reached for your phone, flicking through it till you found her contact. You pressed the video call, knowing this conversation needed to be as close to face to face as you could get.

“Hey,” her voice caused you to focus back on the screen. Olivia looked tired, more tired then you had seen her.

“Hey,” you said. “We, we should talk love.”

“Yeah, I think we need to.”

#Law and order SVU #Gender neutral reader #Olivia Benson #Olivia Benson x reader #Olivia Benson x y/n #gender neutral y/n #angst #married Olivia Benson x reader #writing #Law and Order SVU Imagines #imagines #request #olivia benson imagines

[marchtomydrums]

Summer Fun

Olivia Benson x Alex Cabot x Reader

With summer coming to an end your wives promised you a mini vacation to celebrate. Olivia and Alex both have been working nonstop with some hellacious hours so there were days your paths didn't even cross.

However, Alex was now home and waiting in the bedroom for you to show her the bathing suits you ordered for the trip. The blonde beauty was in the middle of packing while she waits. Olivia strolls in earlier than usual smiling as she sees Alex.

“Hi, baby.”

Alex lifts her head smiling at her “Hi. Your home early.”

Olivia nods “Yeah Fin said he's got it covered. Besides we leave tomorrow night. Where's y/n?” she asked looking around.

“In the bathroom. She ordered some bathing suits for our trip and wanted to see how they looked.”

Olivia sits on the bed taking off her shoes along with her badge and gun as she listens to Alex explain.

“So what your saying is I made it just in time for the show?” she asked raising her eyebrows.

Alex chuckles “It would appear so captain.”

Their playful banter is interrupted by the sound of the bathroom door opening. Stepping out you smile at them both. The color of the suit made your skin glow. And with the tiny strings, there was no way you were getting tan lines.

You smiled at the two women whose mouths hung wide open.

“What do you think?”

“Turn around.” Olivia orders.

You smiled turning for her.

“Your whole ass is out!” She shouts.

You chuckled turning back around.

“Well duh. It’s a thong Bikini Liv.”

“There is no way you’re wearing that.”

You rolled your eyes “Well sorry to tell you MOM but I am.”

“You’re not walking out on the beach for the world to see your ass.”

“What does it matter?! It only belongs to you anyway!” You shout back at the brunette.

“Hey!” Alex shouts with a pout.

“And you.” You chuckled winking at the blonde.

“Baby please don’t wear that. I’ll have to fight off gross men all day. I’d like to actually relax on this vacation.” Olivia whines.

You giggled walking towards her straddling her lap.

“Olivia. I promise you the only person I care about looking at me is you and Alex. Okay??”

The brunette nods her head and sighs “Yeah okay.”

“You really don’t like it?” You asked.

“I love it, baby. Just not for others to see. You’re mine.”

“Your right I am yours. So think about it like this. All of those people who look my way they only get to look. You on the other hand…well you get to do much much more.” You husked rolling your hips in her lap.

She chuckles smacking your ass cheek hard with her hand causing you to gasp.

“Fine. But if someone touches you I swear to god…”

“No one will touch me. Unless it’s you.”

“Hello!” Alex shouts once more.

You chuckled rolling your eyes at her.

“You know what I meant.”

The blonde chuckles “Yes I do. Now come over here so I can see that ass up close.”

You giggled crawling across the bed to her. She smiles spinning you around so your face is buried into the sheets and your ass is on display for her. She looks you over one good time before smacking your ass hard causing you to moan.

The blonde smirks looking over at Olivia.

“You have to admit it Liv…her ass looks delicious in this suit.”

Olivia chuckles shaking her head “Yeah that’s what I’m worried about.”

Alex laughs giving your ass another hard smack.

#lgbtq #alex cabot x reader #wlw #law and order svu #olivia benson x reader #writing #television #fiction #law and order x reader #stephanie march #smut and fluff #age difference #angst #mariska hartigay #poly representation #three women #summer

[youdoknowwhotfiam]

Olivia Benson x fem!Reader

FREE PALESTINE

ANGST

Masterlist

(Credit to the owner)

The precinct lights cast a sickly yellow glow on your face as you slumped back in your chair. The file lay open on your desk, its stark details screaming at you. 10-year-old girl, missing for two days, possible abduction. The picture of the little girl, bright smile and eyes full of life, mirrored your own sister's at that age. A wave of nausea washed over you, bile rising in your throat. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing it away.

Olivia found you like that, head buried in your arms, the silence in the normally bustling squad room a dead giveaway. Concern etched lines on her forehead as she knelt beside you, her hand brushing against yours hesitantly. You flinched at the contact, the dam finally breaking.

"Hey," she murmured, her voice laced with worry. "What's wrong?"

You looked up, vision blurred with tears. The words came out in a broken whisper, "It's Sarah. The case, it's Sarah."

Olivia's brow furrowed. Sarah was your younger sister, the sunshine to your storm. You rarely spoke of her at work, preferring to keep your personal life separate. But this, this case ripped through those carefully constructed walls, leaving you raw and exposed.

She pulled you into a hug, your trembling form a stark contrast to her steady embrace. The familiar scent of her vanilla perfume and leather jacket did little to ease the storm raging inside you. You clung to her, burying your face in her shoulder, tears soaking the fabric of her uniform.

"It's okay," she whispered, her voice a soothing balm. "Let it out."

You didn't hold back. The image of the missing girl, so like Sarah, the fear of what she might be going through, the helplessness that clawed at your insides – it all came pouring out in a torrent of choked sobs. Olivia held you tight, a silent pillar of strength amidst the wreckage of your emotions.

When the last sob subsided, leaving you drained and shaky, she pulled back, wiping away the tears that streamed down your face with her thumbs. Her green eyes held a depth of tenderness that both soothed and ached.

"You don't have to pretend to be okay," she said softly. "We'll find her. We always do."

The unwavering certainty in her voice offered a sliver of hope. But the memory of countless cases with less fortunate endings loomed large.

The ride home was a blur. Olivia drove in silence, her hand resting on yours in a comforting gesture. You stole a glance at her profile, the strain etched on her face mirroring your own.

Once inside your apartment, the weight of the day truly hit you. You collapsed onto the couch, burying your face in the cushions. A choked sob escaped your lips.

Olivia knelt before you, her hand cupping your cheek. Her touch was gentle, a silent question in her eyes. You looked up, the raw vulnerability in your gaze a stark contrast to your usual stoicism.

"I can't," you whispered, voice thick with emotion. "What if we don't find her? What if..."

Olivia didn't let you finish. She pulled you close, cradling you in her arms. You melted into her embrace, the familiar scent and warmth a grounding force amidst the chaos.

"We will," she said fiercely, her voice a promise. "We always do everything we can. But it's okay not to be okay. You don't have to carry this alone."

You clung to her, the sound of her steady heartbeat a lighthouse in the storm. Tears streamed down your face again, a mixture of grief, fear, and a sliver of hope rekindled by her unwavering support.

As the minutes ticked by, your sobs subsided into sniffles. Olivia remained by your side, a silent pillar of strength. When you finally pulled back, your eyes red-rimmed but a flicker of determination returning, she brushed a stray tear from your cheek.

"We'll get some rest," she said, her voice firm but gentle. "And tomorrow, we fight like hell to bring that little girl home."

You nodded, a newfound resolve settling in your gut. The case wouldn't be easy, the path ahead uncertain. But with Olivia by your side, a love that had weathered countless storms, you knew you could face anything.

Later that night, as you lay curled up beside Olivia, the weight of the day finally lifted. The gentle rise and fall of her chest lulled you into a restless sleep, haunted by flashes of the missing girl's face and your sister's bright smile.

The following days were a blur of activity. You and Olivia dove headfirst into the case, chasing down leads, interviewing witnesses, the urgency to find the missing girl a constant

#law and order svu #svu #l&o svu #svu fic #olivia benson x reader #olivia benson #olivia benson x you #olivia #benson #detective benson #angsty #angst #svu fanfiction