#No one really talks about these controllers and there's probably a good reason

[creatingblackcharacters]

"Let's Have a Talk, First"- Stereotypes, pt 1

Come sit down. You and I, before we get into any of the things I'm sure you're impatient to know: we need to have a come to Jesus talk, first.

There are some things that I've been asked and seen that strengthens my belief that we need to have a reframing of the conversation on stereotypes in media away from something as simple as "how do I find the checklist of stereotypes to avoid". Because race- and therefore racial stereotypes- is a complex construct! Stands to reason then, that seeing, understanding, and avoiding it won't be that simple! I'm going to give you a couple pointers to (hopefully) help you rethink your approach to this topic, and therefore how to apply it when you're writing Black characters- and even when thinking about Black people!

Point #1: DEVELOP THE CHARACTER!! WRITE!!

Excuse my crude language, but let me be blunt: Black people- and therefore Black characters- will get angry at things, and occasionally make bad choices in the heat of the moment. Some of us like to fuck real nasty, some might be dominant in the bedroom, they may even be incredibly experienced! Others of us succumb to circumstance and make poor decisions that lead to crime.

None of those things inherently makes any of us angry Black women and threatening Black men, Jezebels and BBC Mandingos, and gangsters and thugs!

Black people are PEOPLE! Write us as such!

If all Black characters ever did was go outside, say "hi neighbor!" and walk back in the house, we'd be as boring as racist fans often accuse.

I say this because I feel I've seen advice that I feel makes people think writing a Black character that… Emotes negatively, or gets hurt by life and circumstance, or really enjoys hard sex, or really any scenario where they might "look bad" is the issue. I can tell many people think "well if I write that, then it's a stereotype" and to avoid the difficulty, they'll probably end up writing a flat Black character or not writing them at all. Or- and I've seen this too- they'll overcompensate in the other direction, which reveals that they 'wrote a different sort of Black person!' and it comes off just as awkwardly because it means you think that the Black people that do these things are 'bad'. And I hate that, because we're capable of depth, nuance, good, evil, adventure, world domination, all of it!

My point is, if you write your character like the human being they are, while taking care to recognize that you as the writer are not buying into stereotypes with your OWN messaging, you're fine. We have emotions, we have motivations and goals, we make decisions, and we make mistakes, just like anybody else. Write that! Develop your character!

POINT #2: YOU CAN'T CONTROL THE READERS!!

Okay. You can write the GREATEST Black character ever, full of depth, love, nuance, emotional range, all those things…. And people are still going to be racist about them. Sorry. There is absolutely nothing you can do to control a reader coming from that place of bias you sought to avoid. If it's not there, TRUST AND BELIEVE, it'll be projected onto them.

That passionate young Black woman who told the MC to get her head out of her ass? Yeah she's an angry Black bitch now, and bully to the sweet white MC. Maybe a lesbian mommy figure if they like her enough to "redeem" her. That Black gay male lead that treats his partner like he worships the ground he walks on? Yeah he's an abusive thug that needs to die now because he disagreed One Time with his white partner. That Black trans woman who happened to be competing against the white MC, in a story where the white MC makes comparable choices? Ohhhh they're gonna be VILE about that poor woman.

It really hurts- most especially as a Black fan and writer- knowing that you have something amazing to offer (as a person and creative) and people are gonna spit on that and call it "preference". That they can project themselves onto white characters no matter what, but if you project your experiences onto black characters, it's "pandering", "self insert", "woke", "annoying", "boring", and other foul things we've all gotten comments of.

But expect that it's gonna happen when you write a Black character, again, especially if you're a Black writer. If you're not Black, it won't hurt as personally, but it will probably come as a shock when you put so much effort in to create a lovely character and people are just ass about them. Unfortunately, that is the climate of fandom we currently exist in.

My favorite example is of Louis De Pointe Du Lac from AMC's Interview With The Vampire. Louis is actually one of the best depictions of the existential horror that is being Black in a racist White world I have ever seen written by mostly nonblack people. It was timeless; I related to every single source of racist pain he experienced.

People were HORRIFIC about Louis.

It didn't matter that he was well written and what he symbolized; many white viewers did NOT LIKE this man. There's a level of empathy and understanding that Black characters in particular don't receive in comparison to white counterparts, and that's due to many of those stereotypes and systemic biases I'm going to talk about.

My point is, recognize that while yes, you as the author have a duty to write a character thoughtfully as you can, it's not going to stop the response of the ignorant. Writing seeking to get everyone to understand what you were trying to do… Sisyphean effort. It's better to focus on knowing that YOU wrote something good, that YOU did not write the stereotype that those people are determined to see.

POINT #3: WHY is something a stereotype?

While there are lists of stereotypes against Black people in media and life that can be found, I would appreciate if people stopped approaching it as just a list of things you can check off to avoid. You can know what the stereotypes are, sure, but if you don't understand WHY they're a problem and how they play into perception of us, you'll either end up writing a flat character trying to avoid that list, or you're going to write other things related to that stereotype because "oh its not item #1"... and it'll still be racist.

For example: if you wrote a "sassy Black woman" that does a z formation neck rotation just because a store manager asked her something… that's probably stereotype. If you thought of a character that needed to be "loudmouthed", "sassy", and "strong" and a dark-skinned black woman was automatically what fit the profile in your mind, ding ding ding! THAT'S where you need to catch your racist biases.

But a dark-skinned Black woman character cursing out a store manager because she's had a really bad, stressful day and their attitude towards her pushed her over the edge may be in the wrong, but she's not an "angry Black woman". She's a Black woman that's angry! And if you wrote the day she had to be as bad as would drive anyone to overstimulation and anxiety, the blow up will make sense! The development and writing behind her led to this logical point (which connects to point #1!)

I'm not going to provide a truly exhaustive list of Black stereotypes in media because that would ACTUALLY be worth a college credited class and I do this for free lmao. But I am going to provide some classic examples that can get y'all started on your own research.

POINT #4: WATCH BLACK NARRATIVES!

As always, I'm gonna push supporting Black creators, because that's the best way to see the range of what you'd like. You want to see Black villains? We got those! Black heroes? Black antiheroes? Assholes, lovers, comedians, depressed, criminals, kings, and more? They exist! You can get inspired by watching those movies and reading those books, see how WE depict us!

I've seen mixed reviews on it, BUT- I personally really enjoyed Swarm, because it was one of the first times I'd ever seen that "unhinged obsessed murderous Black fan girl" concept. Tumblr usually loves that shit lmao. Even the "bites you bites you bites you [thing I love]" thing was there. And she liked girls, too. Just saying. I thought it was a fun idea that I'd love to see more of. Y'all gotta give us a chance to be in these roles, to tell these tales. We can do it too, and you'd enjoy it if you tried to understand it!

POINT#5: You are NOT Black!

This is obvious lmao, but if you're not Black, there's no need to pretend. There's no need to think "oh well I have to get a 100% perfect depiction of the Black person's mind". That's… That's gonna look cringe, at its best. You don't have to do that in order to avoid stereotypes. You're not going to be able to catch every nuance because it's not your lived experience, nor is it the societally enforced culture. Just… Do what you can, and if you feel like it's coming off hokey… Maybe consider if you want to continue this way lol. If you know of any Black beta readers or sensitivity reviewers, that'd be a good time to check in!

For example, if your Black character is talking about "what's good my homie" and there's absolutely no reason for him to be speaking that way other than to indicate that he's Black… 😬 I can't stop you but… Are you sure?

An egregious example of a TERRIBLE way to write a Black character is the "What If: Miles Morales/Thor" comic. I want to emphasize the lack of good Black character design involved in some of these PROFESSIONAL art spaces, because that MARVEL comic PASSED QA!! That comic went past NUMEROUS sets of eyes and was APPROVED!! IT GOT RELEASED!! NO ONE STOPPED IT!!

I'm sorry, it was just so racist-ly bad that it was hilarious. Like you couldn't make that shit up.

Anyway, unfortunately that's how some of y'all sound trying to write AAVE. I promise that we speak the Queen's English too lmao. If you're worried you won't get it right, just use the standard form of English. It's fine! Personally, I'd much rather you do that than try to 'decode AAVE' if you don't know how to use it.

My point is, if you're actively "forcing" yourself to "think Black"… maybe you need to stand down and reconsider your approach lmao. This is why understanding the stereotypes and social environment behind them will help you write better, because you can incorporate that Blackness- without having to verbally "emphasize how Black this is"- into their character, motivations, and actions.

Conclusion

We need to reconsider how we approach the concepts of stereotypes when writing our Black characters. The goal is not to cross off a checklist of things to avoid per se, but to understand WHY we have to develop our Black characters well enough to avoid incorporating them into our writing. Give your Black characters substance- we're human beings! We have motivations and fears and desires! We're not perfect, but we're not inherently flawed because of our race. That's what makes the difference!

And as always, and really in particular for this topic, it's the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!

#creatingblackcharacters #character design #black characters #black character design #black culture

[dyns33]

The Fall of House Harkonnen

I'm not sure what to do with Feyd to be honest.

I'm trying to do dark + fluff but I'm not that good at it. So I started with something short, and not really a Feyd x Reader, since they are twins here. Only platonic, fraternal love here. Even if he's over protectitve and possessive.

It was known throughout all the Imperium that the Harkonnens were cruel beings.

Without pity, without heart.

This seemed even more certain when it came to the young Na Baron, Feyd Rautha Harkonnen, nephew of the Baron and his heir.

True, except with his twin sister.

Or rather dizygotic twin. A strangeness of nature, because if the boy resembled his father and all men born on Giedi Prime, Y/N had taken on the features of their mother and the inhabitants of Lankiveil.

This singularity alone could have been enough to disgust the Baron to the point of making him want to kill the child or leave her with her parents. There was also the fact that she was a girl, being inferior and uninteresting.

It was the older brother who had begged for her to be spared, because even though he wanted to impress his uncle and had no attachment to the rest of his family, he felt a certain sympathy towards his sister.

For this, he had often been punished by Feyd, but it was perhaps also what had saved his life.

Because if Glossus liked Y/N, Feyd adored her more than anything in the world.

As if she were a part of him, a vital, essential part. Extremely possessive, jealous to the point of obsession, he insisted that she be taken with him by the Baron, even though he did not see what to do with her.

“If she doesn’t come, I’m not coming either.”

A refusal was impossible. Vladimir Harkonnen needing a successor, and having clearly seen that only Feyd could be suitable, he couldn't say no.

Marrying her for political advantage was also unthinkable. The Na Baron scared away any suitors who might have been interested, and he would have killed the one their uncle chose for his twin.

There would have been the possibility of letting her choose, because maybe he would have agreed to let her go if she had asked him to. It was rare for him to refuse her something, and in fact people often went through her to communicate with Feyd without taking the risk of being mutilated.

Not right away anyway, because just talking, looking, or thinking about Y/N could be grounds for severe punishment. No one imagined what he would do if someone dared to touch her.

Of course, he was the only one not subject to this ban. The worst rumors ran in the dark corners of the Harkonnens' house, when it was known that the twins shared the same bed.

The Na Baron could have ripped out the tongues of everyone who said such horrors about his sister. They could think what they wanted about him, but not about her.

He also could have just said he didn't want her like that. He had never touched her as he touched his concubines, or any other woman.

Superior to all the others, Y/N did him the honor of letting him put his ear to her chest, rocking him to sleep, a calm and serene sleep. He only slept well with her, listening to her heart, which beat only for him, and thanks to him.

The few times he was alone with her, Glossus Rabban begged her to convince Feyd to be reasonable. It was quite hilarious that such a request was made by the one they called the Beast.

Probably it wasn't really him asking, even if you could see worry in his eyes, the eyes of an older brother.

He never left her, and at the same time Feyd was totally submissive to his twin. It was painful for him when she wanted something that went against what he deemed necessary.

This could have been a means of control. But threatening the young woman would have caused more problems than getting favors. She was untouchable no matter what.

For a time, there had also been the fear that she would use this advantage to torn her brother as she pleased. But if the rest of the family was cruel, Y/N seemed to be the heart of it, the only little beating heart, still a bit human.

It happened that she suffocated a little under her brother's protective love, but she had gotten used to it, perfectly understanding how it worked and knowing that he needed that to feel good.

Feyd didn't know how to be good, but he was doing his best. However, that didn't stop her from teasing him.

“Suppose I meet a charming, kind young nobleman who treats me well…”

“Why do you want to torture me like this, my sister ?” he sighed, snuggling against her. "It's been a long day. Lots of annoyances, stupid people. Don't make me think about these atrocities."

“Me, happily married, is that an atrocity ?”

"Yes."

“But what if I asked you to find me someone ?” Y/N said with a smile, rubbing his back tenderly.

"If there was someone who deserved you, then I would accept. But that's not the case. So you will stay with me, I will become emperor, and you will rule by my side."

"It's not very conventional. And bad for the future of our house."

"The witches will do what is necessary for this. I will take the hand of one of the Emperor's daughters to ensure my power, I will give her a son, then I will not see her again. Maybe I will even kill her, since she will no longer be useful."

"You're so mean. Would you be happy if people talked about me like that ?"

“I will kill anyone who dares.” he grunted, while purring under her hands.

When the Emperor ordered Arakkis to be given to the Atreides, Piter suggested an alliance, before moving on to assassination.

Not that he wanted the Atreides to live, but it was obvious that their deaths were even more desired by the Emperor because of their popularity, who would later seek to attack the Harkonnens because of their wealth.

"The Duke should have had a daughter, who would have married the Na Baron. Since he had a son, it would be possible for us to propose a marriage between him and…"

“Finish this sentence and lose your tongue.” Feyd hissed, never taking his eyes off him, his blade dancing between his fingers, ready to strike.

"I appreciate this proposal, but as you can see, this idea is not a good one. My dear nephew is right to oppose it. The Atreides do not deserve to be linked to any member of our family, nor to have any power over my Dune. We will take it back from them, then we will deal with the Emperor."

Politics had no interest for Y/N. She heard nothing of the plans of the Baron, the Bene Gesserit, or the Imperium. It didn't matter to her in the slightest.

She was only happy with her brother, and it was the same for him. An inseparable pair.

So there was a moment of hesitation when their uncle decided to entrust Arrakis to Feyd. An immense honor, which he had been waiting for for a long time, in addition to which would allow him to further secure his future as ruler of the galaxy.

But Dune was dangerous, so it was obvious that it wasn't a good idea for Y/N to accompany him.

None of them liked the idea, but for once the Na Baron couldn't deny that he shared his uncle's worries. No one would be stupid enough to hurt his sister if she was on Giedi Prime, but she was a target on Arrakis.

"I'll be back soon. Or you'll join me when we've eliminated the Fremen rebels."

"… I have a bad feeling. Stay."

"My sister. My sweet sister." he whispered, kissing her cheek. "You have nothing to fear. You know I am a well trained warrior."

"I don't doubt your abilities. I doubt that these savages are as honorable as you. Can you promise to come back to me ?"

“I have never broken my word, much less the word I give you. We will not be separated, Y/N.”

News of the Baron's death came first.

Then the commander announced to her with a small voice that Glossus had also succumbed.

He was silent for a moment, giving her time to process what he had just said, but Y/N already knew he wasn’t finished.

As she had predicted, young Paul Atreides had not fought by the rules. He should have lost, according to witnesses, but he played dirty, and he stabbed the Na Baron instead of accepting his defeat.

While demanding the hand of the emperor's daughter, he had ordered that a message be sent to the last of the Harkonnens, the only heiress. If she were smarter than the rest of her family, she would be willing to bow to him.

“What should I answer ?”

“Leave me.” Y/N only said without looking at him.

"But he's waiting for an answer… They're going…"

“Leave me.”

"Sorry, Baroness. Call me when you have made a decision."

There was no decision. No word. No Harkonnen bowed their head to an Atreides.

Refusing to be separated, and since he won't come back like he promised, Y/N decided to join her twin where he was. Even though he refused to admit it since they were children, he had never liked being alone in the dark, waiting for her to sneak in his room.

Her planet, her people, their fate didn't matter to her. In this moment, as cruel as the rest of her family, her heart was only for Feyd, and it had no reason to beat anymore.

#dune part 2 #feyd rautha harkonnen #feyd rautha #feyd rautha imagine #feyd rautha fanfiction #not really feyd x reader

[luciddreamingstuff]

I just remembered I have one of those steam controllers when they first came out. Started using it for Stardew Valley and liking it.

#No one really talks about these controllers and there's probably a good reason #stardew valley #ld speaks

[inky-axolotl-gaia]

Bit of a hot take, but Blaze’s friendship with Cream and Sonic deserves just as much (if not in some ways even more so) attention and exploration as her friendship with Silver given how much they hugely impacted Blaze and helped her to grow as a person. This applies both to canon and in the fandom space.

#look yes I get it- Blaze and Silver’s friendship is really cute and there’s a reason why they’re popular as a duo ever since 06 #certainly not trying to discredit their friendship or I guess folks that love to ship silvaze #BUT Cream and Sonic literally changed Blaze forever and I guarantee if it wasn’t for them then she and Silver never could’ve been friends #Cream was the one who first opened Blaze up to friendship #Sonic imparted on her that she doesn’t have to carry the world on her shoulders #at least not alone #not to mention teaching her how to activate burning Blaze and properly control the Sol emeralds #their friendship with Blaze just means so much to me okay- #also I can understand people instantly jump to Silver when thinking of Blaze’s friends given I think far more people played or knew about 06 #while Rush was only on the DS and while there’s certainly a sizable number of fans I’ve seen that have also played the game it’s still few #but even understanding that I can’t help but feel a smidge upset that I rarely see cream + Blaze or sonic + Blaze one on one interactions #and this isn’t even talking about shipping whether Silvaze or Sonaze: just them being good friends #I could probably go on about Rush forever- #sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sonic rush #blaze the cat #blaze #inky axolotl talks #cream the rabbit

[notafunkiller]

she chose me

Summary: Steve's hopes get crushed when he wrongly assumes you'd choose him over Bucky.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x agent!female reader

Warnings: 18+, no condom (but f is on birth control), teasing, pet names, jealousy, sergeant + sir + daddy kìnk, vibranium arm kìnk, language, degrading, praising, no mention of y/n etc.

Word Count: 6.9K

Bucky Barnes masterlist

A/N: I really hope you’ll enjoy it! This was inspired by the "She chose me." TikTok trend.

Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!

You’re all quiet, watching the back and forth between Cap and Bucky. Not even Sam intervenes.

“You didn’t-”

“This is just not gonna work, Buck.”

Bucky rolls his eyes, with an expression you like to describe as bitchy. He’s so sassy without even intending to, and you wonder how bitchier he’d be if this wasn’t his best friend talking.

“Let’s see if people agree.”

He looks around waving at you and the rest of the team while Sam just snorts, covering his mouth with his hand.

But you’re not amused because you have no idea how to handle this diplomatically.

“Whose side are you on?” Steve’s tone is deep and authoritative, making you feel a little uneasy.

You don’t know how to talk to Avengers sometimes. You are on friendly terms, even when you train. Sam always cracks jokes, Steve shares stories and gives advice, and Bucky is Bucky. Nat and Sam call him The Machine for a reason. But he’s a really good professor and an even better observer. He pays attention to every recruit and remembers what they need to work on. You find him extra intimidating because he’s also the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. No exaggeration. And it’s not in the usual clean and golden boy way you are used to, anyway. He’s been through shit and it’s showing in the way he carries himself and doesn’t talk much when it’s not needed.

But you pay attention too, and this is why you think you were chosen to lead the recruits for this mission. You are on good terms with the Avengers, and Bucky probably approved the idea of working with you because you didn’t piss him off like most do. You know he hates chit chat, you learned how to read most of his stares and to not take it personally when he makes remarks about your fighting skills. They’re not your strongest asset, but you have a flair and you come up with the best solutions under pressure. You managed to pin him down once for a few seconds, and that is probably your greatest achievement.

But in moments like this, you don’t know how to say things without upsetting one side.

“You won’t get in trouble, don’t worry,” Bucky adds confidently. You’re not surprised when four out of your six colleagues agree with Bucky. They explain quickly why, emphasizing how much faster and efficient it would be if you followed that route, but their voices are still trembling. And you get it. Telling Captain America to his face you prefer his best friend’s plan over his will always be a risk. But if he gets mad, that says more about him as a leader than about anyone else.

Sam raises his hands in the air defensively, probably enjoying this as a show, but based on the looks he shares with Bucky, it seems like he agrees with him too.

You try to find your words, knowing you’re the last one from your team to speak, but before you can even open your mouth, Steve already smiles, pointing at you with his index finger. “Look at this, though! She agrees with me… She chose me.”

His grin is cold and a little arrogant. What you don’t notice, though, is the intention Steve had when he decided to use those exact words, but Bucky does. And he clenches his jaw at the same time his vibranium hand curls into a fist; a silent response to the not-so-innocent assumption that Steve made.

After a few seconds, Bucky leans in, his gaze steady and confident. “Did she?”

There is no way you would pick Steve’s plan. You are too smart and you have too much integrity to pick his side just to kiss his ass. He raises an eyebrow at you this time, a confident smirk forming on his lips. “Did you really choose him? You really think his plan would work better, doll?”

You feel surrounded by Bucky… attacked even. Your cheeks are getting hotter, too, and you know there is nothing you can do to hide your redness. Doll… He called you that when he turned you again on your back the day you managed to pin him down. It’s something about the way he says it that makes it absolutely deadly. Your first instinct was to be offended, but you reminded yourself he is a man born in 1917. He lived his twenties in the 40s, and doll was used as slang for sweetheart.

Taking a deep breath, you tilt your head slightly, directing your response to Steve. “It’s not about choosing sides, but considering all perspectives for the best outcome. And your plan, Captain, has its strengths, but I’m inclined to agree with Sergeant Bucky.” You bite your lip. “It’s about finding the most effective strategy for the mission, not a personal preference of any kind.”

Steve’s smile falls off, but your attention shifts back to Bucky’s grin that lightens up his face.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Well, then,” Steve sighs. “Can I have a word with you in private?”

You don’t realize he’s speaking to you until he says your name.

Surprised, you jump. “Yes, of course.”

*

Steve leans back in his chair, a slight smile playing on his lips as you write down the last details. “You know, I value your insights on the mission.”

You look surprised because how can he value your opinion when this is your second mission only? He’s Captain America!

“Oh?”

“I trust your judgment, and your training is going great. If you and the team chose Bucky’s plan, then we do it.” You see his jaw clench, though, so you know it’s not easy for him to say it. Even if it’s his friend… interesting. “Maybe, when all is over, we could grab a cup of coffee and talk about other things. What do you think?”

You’re silent for a couple of seconds, trying to realize if he means it in the way you think he is. There is no way, right?

Just in case, you offer him a friendly smile, “Thanks, Cap! I value our teamwork too. Coffee sounds great after. It could be a good way for all of us to unwind as a team.”

He nods, sighing. “I’m glad you’re on board. I’m looking forward to that coffee, even if it’s with the whole team. And please, call me Steve.”

So he was flirting…

“Thank you,” you pause as you stand up. “I’m gonna talk with Sergeant Barnes so we can get things ready for tomorrow. Have a good night, Steve!”

*

You knock only three times before the door opens and a Bucky dressed in shorts and a white tank top lets you in with a smirk.

“Sergeant Barnes,” you nod as you take a step inside his bedroom. He only stays here before and after missions when he is too tired to go to his apartment, so you don’t expect to see any personal objects there except for a few clothes.

“What happened to Bucky?”

You look at him surprised, tightening your hold on the tablet you are holding.

What?

“Sir?”

Bucky closes his eyes for a second. “Earlier, during the meeting, you called me Sergeant Bucky.”

Shit!

Maybe you should start calling him Sergeant Barnes in your head as well to avoid these fucks up. You feel so embarrassed that you want to disappear. You don’t want him to think you disrespect him in any way. His rank carries a lot of weight and trauma.

You clear your throat, slightly flustered. “My apologies, Sergeant Barnes. It won’t happen again, sir.” You offer him an apologetic smile while trying very hard to maintain a professional tone.

Bucky’s smirk softens as he places his flesh hand on your shoulder. You feel your legs transforming into jelly.

“My point was, doll, there is no need to be so formal. We’re off-duty here, and titles aren’t necessary. Just call me Bucky.”

“Alright, Bucky,” you smile. “I’m sorry for bothering you, but I came to discuss the plan for tomorrow. I talked to Steve and we agreed it would be wise for you to lead the way as Mr. Wilson-”

“Steve?” Bucky interrupts before you can finish your sentence. He doesn’t even bother to look at your tablet, either.

“Yes, we talked in the office.”

“No, I get that. But you call him Steve? What happened to Cap?” Bucky knows that might sound really childish, but he can’t help it. What is Steve trying to do?

Was it some kind of test? Did you misunderstand everything with Steve?

“Oh, Cap allowed me to call him Steve earlier. I am sorry if it sounded disrespectful.”

He squeezes your shoulder even before moving his hand to your chin, raising your face, and you feel yourself blushing again.

The blue of his eyes is so intense that you can’t see how anyone would be able to survive it.

“You apologize too much, doll. I don’t like it.”

You can’t breathe. “Sor-” You pause, realizing he is right. Apologizing is second nature to you. It feels wrong when you don’t, and you do it without even thinking about it. “I guess I do that a lot. I’ll work on it, Bucky.”

“I’m not your teacher right now, doll.” He smiles, letting go of your chin. “Just remember, we’re not all about formalities here. Relax a bit.”

Easier said than done. But you need to keep it together and ignore the urge to grab his face and finally kiss him. So you focus on talking about the mission and the members of the team. You talk about all of your colleagues, and Bucky helps you take notes. He switched so easily from friendly to the sergeant mode, which is fascinating.

He explains step by step your positions, the way things are gonna happen and even two back up plans. Two!

You’re not overwhelmed by the amount of information, but you’re quite surprised by how much he talks and how well he answers every possible question any of you could have. You don’t think you’ve ever heard him speak for more than a few seconds continuously so you try to focus on every word.

Only when he finishes and you close your tablet after sending everyone the plan, do you see him relaxing again.

With a smirk, he asks you, “How did Steve take it?”

“He was fine with the plan, even suggested if we feel like doing it, to get one or two more members. But based on what you said, we won’t need it.”

“He has a point, of course, but if you said you don’t think you need it, good.” You try not to stare at his lips as he speaks, but it’s so hard. “And I meant how he took that you chose my plan. That you chose me.”

You meet Bucky’s gaze, trying to keep your composure, “Steve seemed more than okay with it from what I saw. He values the team’s decision. Plus, it’s not about choosing sides, and-”

“And not a personal preference of any kind,” he interrupts just to quote you, and you don’t know if you should feel flattered he remembers word by word or to prepare yourself for a negative reaction. To be honest, your head is spinning and him being so close makes it worse. “I heard you very well, but I’m curious…”

He extends his hand and carefully tucks your hair behind your ears. You swear you can hear your own heartbeat going crazy. And if you do, so does he.

“About what?”

“Would the answer be different if it was about personal preferences, doll? Would you choose him?”

You freeze. You are simply in shock because this cannot happen to you. From Steve asking you out earlier to your crush basically doing this. You’re confused and a little tired, but you didn’t imagine all of this. Does Bucky want you? Is that it?

You take a deep breath praying you won’t choke on the words. “In a hypothetical scenario based on personal preferences, Bucky, I would still not pick him.”

Your voice is trembling, but you maintain eye contact even after admitting it. You didn’t choose Bucky’s plan because of your crush, so you shouldn’t feel embarrassed or exposed. He’s the one who let you call him Bucky, who touched you and asked you that. You don’t know if he counts romance as a personal preference, but there is an urge inside you to find out. You wonder how he’d taste, if he’d kiss you back if you kissed him first, how your mission would be if you crossed the line. Your thoughts are foggy.

“So you’d choose me.”

You clear your throat. “Yes.”

“Over Captain America.” His grin is so boyish and cute that it makes you smile. He looks younger and less… burdened when he gets like this. Bucky chuckles, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Well, well, well. Looks like I got someone not kissing Captain America’s ass for a change. That’s really rare. You’re a naughty one, aren’t you?”

You mask your gasp with a cough, deciding to play along, a sly grin forming on your face. “Maybe I just have a thing for underdogs.”

Bucky’s eyes light up with amusement to your annoyance but also excitement, and he leans in, taking the tablet from your hand and placing it on the floor without a care. “Underdogs, huh? Ouch, that hurt a little. I thought I was your favorite super-soldier.”

You can’t help but giggle, feeling enough encouragement from his reaction to touch his vibranium arm just to feel it. You got the chance to do it only for a couple of seconds and it always fascinated you, especially the golden pattern. The fact he can feel everything because it’s connected to his nerves is insane to you. It probably is to him too. “Oh, you are. And my favorite teacher too. But a little competition never hurts, Sergeant Barnes.”

You can see he feigns offense. “Competition, huh?” Bucky’s playfulness turns into a serious tone as he adds, “Well, let me show you why I’m the only choice.”

And without warning, he closes the distance between you and kisses you.

You gasp, taken aback, but you bring your hands to his face and hip before you deepen the kiss. He’s not as gentle as you expected, his left arm flying to your ass and bringing your hips closer to his immediately.

You moan when you feel his hard on so close to your pussy, and tug on his hair a little.

“Aren’t you a naughty girl?” He lowers his lips to your jaw. “I could basically smell how wet you got earlier as soon as I called you doll. And so did Steve.”

You want to open your eyes and tell him to stop talking about his friend. You don’t want to be turned off, but he already continues.

“He thought he stood a chance with my girl.”

“Your girl?” You whimper when his teeth graze your neck before his tongue licks on the spot. He intends to leave a mark, you have no doubt, and you absolutely love it.

“Mine.” His whisper makes you shiver. “I want to mark you. The thought of having you covered in hickeys during the mission makes me so hard it almost hurts. Gonna show everyone you belong to me.”

“Do I belong to you, Sergeant Barnes?” You take a step back but let your hand linger on his chest teasingly. “Because I don’t remember you asking me to dinner.”

Bucky grins. “Dinner is a classic move, and I adapted very well to the present. But of course I can stop with the kisses right now, and we can have some late dinner.”

You roll your eyes at his unbelievably good answer. Fucker!

“This is not what I meant, Barnes, and you know it.”

“I don’t know it. But I want to know something else.”

You don’t even doubt he means something dirty because it’s too obvious.

“Like what?”

“Like how your pretty pussy tastes while you come all over my face.”

You gasp at the no-filter words. You’re so used to Steve’s warning you to use proper language, that you did not expect it.

“I thought men your age were all about being proper and refined… Don’t they teach subtlety in the 40s etiquette class or did you skip it?”

You tease him on purpose, and he knows it. You are well aware what a nerd he was in school. Such a nerd that it was displayed in the museum. You snort. You were a nerd too, so you love it.

Bucky chuckles, a mischievous gleam in his eyes as he brings his hands to your pants, unzipping them without warning. Holy. Shit. The way you love this. He reads your body language very well and he has his super soldier senses.

“Well, doll, proper and refined went out the window with the 40s, right? Because otherwise you’d not be standing here letting me undress you.”

You raise your eyebrow, a mix of surprise and amusement on your face. His energy is so light, and he looks like a man without a worry in moments like this.

“You’re the one who offered to show me what the little upgraded version of you can do, after all.” You take off your shoes before pulling down your pants as soon as he drags them to your ankles. You can’t believe you’re about to fuck James Bucky Barnes! “Why would I say no?”

“Just sit back and enjoy the ride, doll. Gonna make sure you have the time of your life.”

You snort, amused by his eagerness, and decide to take off your shirt yourself to see his reaction. And he doesn’t disappoint.

He grins like a child, his hands flying straight to your back without taking his eyes off your chest. And before you know it, your bra is on the floor and Bucky cups your breasts, bringing your left tit to his mouth.

If you gasped when you felt the cold touch of the vibranium, now you moan loudly, enjoying the way he licks around your skin. He avoids your nipple on purpose, so you decide to take matters into your own hands quite literally and get a grab of the top of his hair, forcing him to suck on your nipple.

“Fuck! I didn’t expect you to be so whorish,” you say without realizing, and you feel his snort and breath on the wet patch he left with his tongue.

Bucky’s grin turns into a sly smirk. “This is what you call whorish? I guess I’ll give you an experience you won’t ever forget.”

“Talk less, do more.”

You want to enjoy more of this. You have a mission in a few hours, and it might be just a one time thing anyway since he is Bucky Barnes. You don’t want to get your hopes high.

Bucky lets go of your breast with a pop and moves up, raising your head so he can kiss you.

It’s electrifying, and desperate, and not enough. You move your hands to the bottom hem of his tank top and lift it, interrupting the kiss so you can take it off completely. You just want to feel him, all of him.

You step back for a second, wanting to look at him properly, but you notice a change in his eyes that he, of course, tries to mask.

“Why are you nervous? You look like a fucking god! I should be nervous here.”

Bucky’s eyes flicker with vulnerability.

“I guess I’m not used to someone seeing my scars or my,” he waves toward his vibranium arm, and you frown.

“I will sound totally weird, but they all make you really cool, Serge.” You trace down a few scars when you see he is completely relaxed and continue. “Do I have to lick them all to make you believe me?”

You move your hands under his shorts before he can answer, though, finally touching his cock. You both moan at the feeling. He’s hard and thick, and the head is wet. You bring your fingers to his lips, smearing some of the precome before leaning in to suck it off.

You’re not prepared for his moan or for the way he attacks your mouth, and definitely not for him to snap your underwear using his flesh hand. Not even his vibranium one!

You moan into his mouth. He makes you feel like you’re floating and you need to fuck him right then.

“You’re not just whorish, you’re a whore!” You pause when you feel his fingers close to your entrance. “No wonder why you didn’t belong in the 40s.” Then you move, allowing him to touch you. You don’t realize what you said, and when you do, in the middle of dragging his shorts down, you curse yourself in your mind. It sounds like the most disrespectful thing ever. This man’s fate was changed by monsters who cryogenically freezing him and brainwashing him, and you are selfishly talking as if he belonged to you. “I’m sorry that was awful of-” But he interrupts you before you can get a chance to properly apologize.

“You like that, don’t you?”

A wave of shame surges through your body. Your cheeks are burning.

“I’m really sorry,” you take your hands off his shorts and look away, not even peaking at his cock. You ruined it, didn’t you? “I will just go.”

Bucky shakes his head, puffing. “For such an amazing agent, you’re not a good room reader, are you?”

Your eyes finally drop to his cock, which you’ve been trying to avoid in the last minute out of shame, but there’s no need anymore since he’s teasing you. He’s just a bit longer than average, and he’s really thick, and the veins do not make it ugly at all. You are curious how it’d feel in your hand, how much it’d twitch, how Bucky would moan.

“You aren’t a good room reader, either then, Barnes, since I’m not getting dicked down and my hair pulled, am I?”

Something snaps in him, and it’s visible in his eyes. You don’t know what to expect so you just watch him. But you can’t. He is so quick that, despite your crazy training, you don’t anticipate his move. His hand wraps around the hair from your nape and fists it hard enough for you to move along with him.

“Wanna be dicked down? Fine by me, get on your hands and knees.”

You’re surprised, of course you are, but his tone is firm and you find yourself nodding and doing what he told you. You know you can say no; there is nothing in Bucky’s energy that makes you feel unsafe or as if you have no choice.

At the same time, he lets go of your hair just so he can take off his shorts completely.

“Are you not gonna make sure I’m wet enough for you?” You ask when you see him getting closer to you again, even though you are very wet. You just want to push his buttons.

“I can smell you if I focus on it, let me remind you.” He smiles. “I know you’re soaked, and you wanna be dicked down. Or are you backing off?”

Challenging prick!

You roll your eyes. “I’m not scared of your dick.”

“Good, because he wants to be friends with you.”

You close your eyes, cringing. “God, you were this close to turning me off.” You raise your hand in the air, putting your weight on the left one as you bring your thumb and index finger close to each other to show him exactly what a thin line this was.

Bucky laughs, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, I’m gonna make you forget it in a second.”

Your first instinct is to want to tease him about the second remark, to ask him if this is how long he can last, but you’re too horny now. And you also need rest for the mission tomorrow.

“How, uh…” You pause not knowing how to ask this properly. “Can you, uh, make babies?” You cringe at your words. “I mean, widows can’t… and I just wanted to know if we need a condom to be extra careful since you might be extra fertile because I am on the pill and I have no idea how sex with a super sold-”

Bucky’s lips press against yours suddenly, making you stop talking.

“Breathe.”

“I’m breathing,” you whisper and he cups your face.

“Not enough. We can use a condom if you want, but I’ll need to check where I can find one. Or we can go bare if you trust me… I can pull out and you are already protected, so there shouldn’t be a problem, I think.” He pauses to kiss your lips again. “But we can still use a condom anyway to be extra careful as you said.”

You frown at that, suddenly more desperate to feel him bare than ever before.

“No, I trust you. I have never done it without a condom before, and I assume you didn’t have much time to uh… have sex.”

Bucky snorts amused. “Now why do you assume that?”

“You look like you haven’t been fucked since 1945.”

The fact he doesn’t even deny it makes you feel even bolder, so you reach for his cock and place your thumb on his wet head while wrapping the rest of your hand around the length. “Are you gonna even last for a second once you’re inside me, Sergeant Barnes?” You snort when you see him trying to hold back his moan by biting his lip. It makes you feel happy. “Or do you even manage to get inside me before- ahh!” He is predictable this time as he pulls your hair, so you laugh.

“Are you familiar with this whole red, yellow, green color code?”

You gasp. “Yes, read about it, never needed it. But how do you know that?”

“I read about it, too.” His grin is so wide and beautiful that you melt again.

“Quite naughty of you, Serge. Reading dirty books. Needed some ideas?”

Bucky smirks, kissing you again and again. “Gonna need a review after I finish with you.”

“You finishing with me?” You smile. “Big words, Barnes, but no action.”

He knows you challenge him, and you don’t try to hide it. Do you have to beg for his cock for him to finally fuck you? He is edging you on purpose at this point.

You let out a whimper in anticipation when he moves behind you.

“Are you sure you’re fine with no condom?”

“Ihm, I’m not ovulating anyway,” you whisper, trying not to sound too eager. But you are. You want to get dicked down, indeed. And you wanted it for months.

His silence makes you a bit nervous, but the sounds of him dropping to his knees behind you, followed by his hand grabbing his cock and positioning it at your entrance while squeezing your hip with the metal arm.

You love the sensation of the coldness, but you love even more when he leans in to kiss your back before he pushes inside you.

It takes two tries, though, for him to be able to push halfway inside you because you kept pushing his dick out of you instantly. You managed to take him only when he brought his fingers to your clit and rubbed a bit.

You still laughed though because the sounds were too funny and his little frustrated whimpers were hilarious. The amusement turns quickly into more horniness when you feel him stretching you without even being fully inside you. You dreamed and daydreamed about it… fantasized about it, but it still wasn’t even close to how it actually feels. How full it feels. It’s like you cannot even think, your body is weak.

“Fuck,” your voice is cracking. “Deeper.”

“You’re so fucking tight,” he whispers.

“So?” You bring your hand to his ass, trying to show him you really need it deeper. “Why do you make it sound like a bad thing? Or are you trying not to come, Mr. Super Soldier?”

“You have quite a mouth on you, I think you need it-”

“You talk way too much. Are you nervous or-” It’s his turn to interrupt you with a thrust. Such a deep thrust your head is spinning. He’s not fully inside you, you realize, but he doesn’t try to, instead, he starts to fuck you, taking your breath away. His fingers leave your clit, grabbing your hips with both hands.

There is no question anymore, just fucking as you wanted.

And it feels like heaven. You try to keep your eyes open just so you look at him over your shoulder, but it’s impossible.

“Cat got your tongue?”

You groan. “No, you did, n-now fuck me harder.”

“Well, well,” he slows down and you almost wanna die. “This is not how you talk to your Sergeant, is it?”

He can’t do this!

“Fuck you!”

“What does my baby want?” His thrusts are too slow and teasing, just like his voice. “Use your words, beg for it.”

You’re not turned off, surprisingly. Not at all, on the contrary, the firm tone he uses, the words… you’re getting hornier, if that is even possible.

“I love your cock, Sergeant, so please give it to me. Fuck me harder and faster. Need you to pull my hair, and choke me, and… be rough.” You would be embarrassed if you weren’t so desperate. You know he wouldn’t make fun of you for this, so you trust him.

“Only mine.” You take a deep breath relieved when you feel his right hand wrap around your hair. “Do you hear me? Answer me.”

You nod, unable to say anything because he starts to thrust hard and fast, just like he did before he stopped. Your tits are jumping at the impact, and you have to dig your toes into the floor.

“Use your words. If you want my,” he moans. “If you want my cock and my hand wrapped around your neck, you have to use your big girl words. Tell me you’re only mine.”

You can’t hold back your tears this time. You love it so much, you can’t believe you waited so long to have him.

“Only yours.”

“No Steve.”

He lets go of your hair, wrapping his hand around your neck. No pressure, not moving it, he’s just holding it there.

“There’s n-no Steve, Sergeant. Only you. My pussy belongs to you. I o-only want to get filled by you.”

You know he’s smiling without needing to look at him.

“You love your Sergeant’s cock, don’t you?” You have no idea how he’s able to speak while thrusting so hard. He’s a fucking robot, indeed. “No one else could give you this, no matter how much they tried.”

You feel the building in your core. You’re so, so close already, so you try to place your weight on only one hand and bring the other to cover his, and before he can say something, you encourage him to choke you by pressing his fingers on the sides of your neck.

You moan so loudly you surprise even yourself. You sound like a cat.

“Please, sergeant, please, choke me.” You repeat your move and you close your eyes. “Please, daddy, I’m so c-close.”

He pauses for a second, and you don’t know why.

Before you can ask what’s wrong, he doesn’t just start to thrust inside you again, he dicks you down just the way you wanted. It’s as if he fucks the air out of your lungs every time you exhale. You’re crying and screaming at this point, so loud the whole floor must hear you. But you’re not ashamed. You feel so close you can almost taste it.

You barely hear his whimpers, but they’re there and they’re so beautiful.

You get no warning when he decides to squeeze the sides of your neck: gently at first, but then? Perfect. So perfect you come without warning, not being able to even say his name. You just scream some nonsense, your hand dropping from his to the floor so you can ground yourself properly. Your whole body is burning, and burning, and burning, coming alive for what feels like an eternity.

He doesn’t wait even for a second after you come down from your orgasm. Instead, he gets his dick out of you, grabbing you by your ass and raising you in his arms. Still weak, you barely have the strength to wrap your legs around his waist and your hands around his neck. He’s sweaty but not that hot. His metal arm is making you cool down.

“Daddy’s gonna take good care of you.” His lips find your forehead and you fight the urge to kiss his neck. You feel so small in his arms… and as if no one can hurt you.

You’re smiling like a fool when your back hits his bed, and so is he. Such a beautiful, blinding smile.

You let him spread your legs before you drag his face down so you can kiss him. You bite his lip hard until he opens his mouth, moaning when you feel him entering you again. This time, you’re relaxed so he thrusts inside you so much easier.

“Gonna make you come again around your daddy’s cock..”

His hands wrap your legs around his ass when he starts to thrust again.

“You’re quite… into it, Sergeant Barnes. So dirty!”

He gently grabs your jaw. “Tongue out.”

You do it, opening your mouth and waiting, and waiting until you finally understand what he’s about to do.

Instead of being grossed out, as you expected, you eagerly swallow the saliva that he lets drip from his mouth, which lands on your tongue.

You bat your eyes as you start to move your hips to meet his thrusts halfway, and that sends him into a frenzy.

“Fucking hell, you don’t want to sleep tonight, do you?” He asks sarcastically, but you don’t have enough air to tease him with a stamina comment. “You want me to make you scream and swallow my spit and come till we have to go to that fucking mission. Till your beloved Steve needs to come to us himself and hear us covered in come but still fucking.” You moan at the idea of your teammates finding out about this. You get awful comments anyway; at least you can get him for real and rub it in their faces. “You would like that, wouldn’t ya? Having all my undivided attention on you, not caring that my best friend is mad…” The thrusts are so deep that your head falls on the pillow instantly. You cannot keep your eyes open for even a second and you’re crying again. “Not caring my pal wanted you so badly he even tried to take you out tonight.”

“Sergeant-”

Thrust after thrust. You grab his forearm as tightly as you can so you can have something to hold onto.

“He thought he could have you, that you’d choose him. Come on, love. Come on, scream my name, let them hear. Let them all hear whose cock you cry for. Who is the one you belong to.” His balls slap against your skin so hard they tickle you. But not even that can distract you from almost reaching your orgasm. His words, his cock, his possessiveness…

“Sergeant, please. No one but you, can I… c-can I touch my clit? I’m so, so close.”

You don’t have to, though, because he is quick enough to bring his flesh hand between your bodies and rub your clit just the way you need it.

“F-fuck, coming,” you manage to warn him before the pleasure hits you. It’s so overwhelming you see white, digging your nails into his forearm.

You don’t know what you call him… daddy, Bucky or sergeant, but it doesn’t matter. You hear his praise, how you’re his good girl, and his words encouraging you to come for him.

When you can focus again, you kiss him with everything you have.

“Need you to come for me, Sergeant Barnes,” you whisper between kisses. “Need you to come inside me, need you to fill me up with your come, sir.”

He hisses loudly, his eyes being more grey than blue.

“Don’t tease me.”

“I mean it,” you make eye contact, wrapping your legs tighter around him. “Not the heat of the moment. I need your come, daddy. I’m on birth-”

He kisses you so hard your teeth end up hitting, but you don’t care. This is everything.

“Gonna come, gonna give you what you want. Gonna make you my come s-slut. Is that what you needed?”

“Yes, yes.” You’re so excited to watch him finish you don’t even realize how much you like being called his come slut until he says it again. “Come on, Sergeant, come for me.”

After you say that, it only takes him two more thrusts to finish, moaning your name.

His eyes close, and you notice how pretty his eyelashes are. And the little moles on his face… his mouth semi-open and his hair in all directions.

You want to witness this every day.

Before you can stop yourself, you lean in to kiss his nose and cheeks, letting your hips move at the same time.

“C-can’t… doesn’t stop,” he manages to groan, and you bring your hand to his nape, caressing his hair as he rides out his orgasm.

When he finally finishes, though, his head falls on top of your breasts, his mouth finding your nipple and playing with it before sucking it fully into his mouth.

“Easy, Bucky,” you moan, but he keeps going, though.

You have to pull his hair, to make him stop.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but I need to uh… I’m tired.”

You’re back to your shy self. But his smile still makes you feel so relaxed.

“Got you tired, huh?” He winks, giving your breasts a kiss before pressing his lips against yours. “Fuck, I’ve never been so aroused in my entire life. Won’t even mention how happy I am.”

“Me neither,” you whisper.

“Well, we need to get used to it.”

You laugh so happily that you think your chest will explode. It’s surreal.

“You owe me that dinner after all.”

“A million dinners.”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Trying to charm me?”

He pecks you one more time before getting out of you with a whimper.

“I’ve already done it.”

It’s weird to be empty like this again, but seeing your come and wetness on his pubic hair or dripping out of your pussy just to soak the sheets beneath you distracts you. You made a mess.

“We need to clean this.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he says distractedly as he uses his index finger to push some come back inside you. Jesus! “This is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

You smile. “You’re a whore.”

“Your whore.” He slowly gets out of bed, grabbing his shorts from the floor.

“Want me to go?” You ask all of a sudden, gaining a confused look from him.

“Why would I want that? Unless you do, of course…” He runs a hand through his hair, trying to fix it a little. “But I want you to stay.”

“Saw you dressing.” You bring your knees up just to put your chin on top of them. You feel extra shy.

He smiles. “Just gonna get you some water. I don’t want you dehydrated.”

*

Bucky knew Steve was in the kitchen as soon as he went down the stairs. He smiles casually, not giving him a second look as he goes straight to the fridge. It’s not like he hasn’t seen him in shorts or shirtless before, and Bucky knows he knew exactly what happened upstairs.

“Can’t sleep?” Steve’s tone is so obvious Bucky almost laughs.

“Not sleepy yet. What about you? You’re alright, punk?”

“Yeah,” he says, taking a sip from his own glass of water; his hands tightly wrapped around the glass.

“Still mad about earlier? You know I’m right.”

Steve shakes his head. “No, it’s all good.”

Bucky sighs dramatically. He loves Steve, he is his brother, but sometimes he is so annoying.

“Well, try to get some sleep. I suggest you wear some earplugs or something, though,” Bucky suggests casually, taking a whole bottle of water. “We wouldn’t want you too sleepy tomorrow. And the night is young.” He even winks at Steve, making him clear his throat.

“Buck…”

“Not a super soldier perk, I know, but you understand, right?” The smirk he suddenly gives Steve is almost sinister. “She chose me after all, and I gotta let her test-drive me. Have a good night!”

Even though he turns around, Bucky doesn’t miss the way Steve’s hold gets so tight that his glass almost breaks.

Bucky doesn’t regret it. He had it coming when he thought you’d choose him.

#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x agent!reader #bucky barnes x agent!femalereader #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #my stories #my fanfics #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #sebastian stan #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x agent! female reader

[envy-of-the-apple]

Exception

Dark!Geto Suguru x reader

5.8k wc

Synopsis: You never bothered with Suguru's crush on you, knowing it would fade. After meeting him again years later, you make the horrible discovery that his feelings for you have only festered.

(Warnings: yandere, dark content, murder of a side character, slight gore, violence, rape/noncon, vaginal fingering, piv sex, unsafe sex)

When you were in your first year of college, you got a part-time job at a nearby cafe. 

It was easy work. Make coffee. Bake some pastries. Attend to the customers. Nothing too unmanageable. It was an insignificant part of your life. 

Then, Gojo and Geto came along.

 

Insufferably annoying. Especially, the loud one. They always caused a havoc in the cafe, often to the point where the manager had to physically kick them out. It was a turbulent two weeks, until one day you promised them if they kept it down, you'd let them try a few of your experimental pastries. 

Really, it was your own damn fault. They started coming every day after that, mostly to bother you. The only reason management hadn't outright banned them was probably because Gojo made 50% of their entire revenue. 

You warmed up to them eventually. Your fake smiles turned into more amused ones because of their antics. Once or twice, they'd get a good laugh out of you. You've heard rumors of a private, religious highschool nearby. You always assumed they were a byproduct of that. 

Eventually, Gojo becomes Satoru. Geto becomes Suguru. Nice kids, if not a bit overzealous. Despite refusing to hang out with them after work, you had to admit, you grew a bit attached to them. You found yourself asking about their day, hiding sweets for the two of them, sometimes you'd even let them steal a croissant or two. 

You bet the reason they hung around you was because, to them, you were some cool college student. Secretly, you found it a little flattering. Some days, their friendship was the highlight of your shift. It's clear Satoru is always the instigator, always looking like he's about to bounce off the walls (you have told him to lay off the sugar), it's not like Suguru was any better. He tried to act like he was the more refined part of the friendship. He often fails, at least in your eyes. 

It becomes pretty apparent that Suguru had a crush on you. You're not sure when exactly you started to notice the bashful looks, the slight flush on his cheeks whenever you accidentally brush his hand, the fact that he visits far more often (even though Satoru has the sweet-tooth) but you can't unsee it now. It doesn't help that Satoru looks downright giddy whenever his friend talks to you, barely controlling his giggles in the background. His reaction and Suguru's irritation often start a few skirmishes right outside the cafe doors. You've told them multiple times to take their fights in the alley at least. They never listened. 

For his sake, you don't acknowledge it, already knowing what it is. A schoolyard crush. Harmless, it'll pass. Eventually, when you're a distant memory to them, Satoru will tease him about it and Suguru will give a playful elbow nudge. Much to your relief, Suguru doesn't pull you to the side and confess. He's refined, in that way, never giving too much until you have the evidence and clues yourself. 

It continued like that for months. And then, something changed. 

They stopped coming around as much. Daily visits turned weekly. Weekly turned to every so often. Their energy felt off too. Satoru seemed the same as always, if not a bit more mellowed out. It was Suguru you mainly worried for. Each time he returned, he looked worse and worse. Darker circles. Eyes filled with exhaustion. 

You pull him aside eventually, asking if anything is going on, asking if he's okay, asking if he wants to talk. As sincerely as you can, you tell him that you're here for him. He at least attempts to smile at that. When you press, he shakes his head. 

"It's nothing," you both know he's lying, "it's just....it's nice to see that there is one exception." 

A little while after that, they stop coming entirely. You notice, but you aren't able to focus on it. School gets harder, you're cutting back your work to focus on it. You don't even recognize Satoru at first when he walks in nearly a year later. 

He's different. So much taller. Despite being a few years younger than you...he doesn't feel like a kid anymore. An easygoing smile is pulled on his face when he sees you, giving a lazy wave. You return it, though a bit hesitant. He talks to you as though no time has passed at all, asking what you made for him this time. He talks fast. His voice is too laid back. Too casual. Like he's avoiding something. You think you know what. 

"Where's Suguru?" you ask when you glance behind Satoru for the third time, "I haven't seen him around lately." 

He freezes, like he's been dreading that question ever since he came in. Finally, he shrugs, making a noncommital hum. His sunglasses obscure his eyes but it isn't enough to hide how cold he suddenly turned. Satoru seems to realize that too. His answer is pulled by reluctance. 

"We don't talk anymore." He doesn't say anything more. You don't need him to.

When he pulls out his wallet, you tell him it's on the house. He looks at you then. His mouth opens, searching for the right words. He waits too long. His mask slips back into place. 

Gojo grins at you, painfully fake. 

"Take care of yourself, will ya?" 

You never see him again after that. You know it's your fault. 

You think about them every so often when you can, Suguru especially. He rests in the back of your mind like an old piece of furniture you can't bring yourself to throw out. Suguru sometimes haunts your dreams with his darkened eyes and the pure brokenness on his face. For some reason, you think you failed him somehow. You felt like you could have done more. Maybe, if you'd tried harder to reach out, things would have been different. Two boys wouldn't be utterly heartbroken. 

Years pass by. You quit working at the cafe. You graduate college. You move cities. You get a job. Eventually, you settle into a nice apartment. You forget all about your days in that quaint little restaurant, your attention hogged by a couple of annoying high schoolers. You don't think about Satoru for years. You don't think about Suguru for years. 

Until one day, when he calls your name in the street. 

He was bigger now, towering over you with broad shoulders. His hair was longer, darker too, less of a green, more black. He's ditched his school uniform, trading it for a more casual outfit. It's his face that makes you hesitate before you use your voice, that same smile, physically at least. He looks the same, but then he doesn't. 

"...Suguru?" It's a question because you're still not sure. 

He smiles wider. 

"Long time, huh?" 

Somehow, your reunion culminates in a restaurant. You still feel out of it, somehow, like you're watching yourself in an out-of-body experience. Between the food and him, you're not sure if you can even believe it. 

He tells you he heads a temple now. A pious man. You shouldn't be surprised, considering his education, but you never knew he was so invested in religion. The two of you converse about other meaningless things. The conversation becomes less stilted. More sincere. You learned your lesson from last time. You don't bring up Satoru unless he does. 

Much to your disappointment, he doesn't. 

Compared to yours, his life is so crazy. Not just with the temple. Suguru tells you he's a father now too. Adopted two little girls. He's barely 22. You can barely hold your disbelief, shaking your head as you take another sip of your coffee. 

"In any case," you say when the conversation draws to a lull, "I'm just really glad you're happy, Suguru. You deserve it." 

When Suguru gives you a questioning look, you continue. 

"The last time we saw each other, you looked miserable." 

 His eyes widen in realization before a laugh bubbles out of his throat. Deep, rich like chocolate. 

"Back then, I was going through a lot." He sighs. "I was figuring out what I wanted. It...it was a tough time for me." 

You nod along, hoping you aren't forcing him to pry. However, the Suguru you're faced with now doesn't seem like that type of person anymore. He won't give if you press. He talks on his own terms. You never once thought of him as a pushover, but he's less open now. Perhaps it's because he's no longer a child. 

Suguru smiles then, a little more sincere than his first. 

"You know...I've always wanted to thank you." 

You tilt your head. "What for?" 

He plays with his empty cup like he's searching for the answer himself. "You gave me hope when no one else did. Everyone was so quick to tell me if I was wrong or right."

He leans back on his chair, eyes drifting towards the ceiling, "Other humans, they're always so enraptured by their own lives. You were the only person who reached out. At least, who cared enough to." 

The guilt from years ago slipped back into your throat. So he had been suffering. You should have done more. He was just a kid. They both had been. You could have done something. Maybe you could have saved a little more.

His hand finds yours on the table. They're rough, calloused. You can feel the scars. He squeezes your fingers. 

"Thank you," he murmurs, "For being an exception." 

You squeeze back. 

It's a tumultuous friendship, at first. It's much like a burn. Sensitive, it hurts at first. The wound is too fresh. Eventually, dead skin and memories fade away. You find yourself texting him. Once a week. Maybe a little more, if you get brave enough. 

Once, he sends you a picture of a white cat lounging in a sunbeam.

looks like Satoru, he types. 

(You stare at the caption for a long longer than necessary.)

It does, you send back.

You visit his temple once. He invited you, actually. A free tour, he had joked. It was beautiful. A large expansive garden filled with all types of flowers. The courtyard felt like it stretched for miles. That was just the outskirts of the temple. The building was something else entirely. A large ceiling. Expansive walls. White pillars that keep going higher and higher and higher. 

You notice his followers are everywhere. Most carry the same smile on their face. Bright, happy, cheery, but too strained. Like it's a job for them. It feels weird to say, but he fits nicely here. You think that because this wasn't the place you thought Suguru would end up. He dons the traditional clothing perfectly. Like they were made for him. They probably were, considering how high his reputation was. 

If he hadn't had the same face, the same hair color. You wouldn't have recognized him at all. He's managed to replace every single thing in his life with something new. It doesn't go unnoticed by you that you're the only thing he keeps from the past. A momento of sorts. You're a keepsake, for him. You don't mind the symbolism. You've always been easily flattered. 

You just failed to realize that not all of his feelings had changed. 

It was in front of your house. After, yet another visit to the temple (much at Suguru's insistence), he'd offered to walk you home. You would have declined if it wasn't so dark out. In the end, you accept his offer. 

"The girls have come to like you," Suguru says after a lull of pleasant silence. When you glance at him, you find his eyes on you. 

"Have they?" you prod. 

In all honestly, you didn't think they liked you at all at first. You don't have that much experience with young children, but you found it odd how unnerved Nanako and Mimiko seemed to get around you, practically hiding behind their father's figure, peeking out with untrusting eyes. Suguru had to gently coax them out with soft words, insisting that you were a close friend of his, you were 'different'. 

"Yes, they talk about you all the time," he continues, rolling his eyes in affection, "Mimiko especially gets very animated." 

Your heart skips a beat at his answer. You never felt one way or the other about children, but it felt nice when two little girls felt so highly about you. Those two especially. 

"It must be from all the sweets I bribed them with," you say, jokingly, "Please tell me I didn't cause them any stomach aches." 

He laughs, light and pretty. 

"It's not that," he responds, "it's because of you, mostly. You're different from the others."

You smile, but it's half-hearted, an attempt more than anything. It takes you a while for you to work up for the question. For some reason, you feel a bit nervous, like you're stepping on something you shouldn't be. 

"Different," you start, "you keep saying that. What does that mean? What am I different from?" 

He stops, just at the entrance of your flat. Suguru's fingers drum on his pants. You stare at him. He stares right back. 

"You are different, in so many different ways," he says, though it feels as though he's speaking to himself, rather than you. 

He takes a step forward. Tiny, he barely even moved. And yet, the distance between the two of you has vanished completely. 

"You've always been. Different from everyone else. The only one." You can't tell if he cut himself off, or if there was truly nothing else to say. 

It was barely a kiss. His lips brushed against yours, barely touching. Soft, like he cherished you the most out of all his possessions. The gentleness of it all is enough for you to freeze. 

Then his hand curls around your waist, and you jolt back into your body. 

You splay your hands on his chest, pushing him away until you have enough momentum to step back. His loose hold on you falls away. You can't look at him, even when you can feel his stare burn into you. 

"Suguru," you say, because you're mind is still running to catch up to your heart, "I-we-" 

Your name being called stops your babbling. You don't think he saw, god you hoped he hadn't. When you look over, he's smiling, so you don't think he did. He was never one to hide his feelings. Still, you step away from Suguru, ignoring how stiff the man had become. 

"Hey," you say, mostly out of relief because you couldn't deal with this anymore. When he wraps you into a hug and a chaste kiss, you wordlessly accept. Suguru's gaze on your back only gets stronger. 

"Who's this?" he asks, gesturing at Suguru. Your smile falters as you glance at Suguru. His face was blank. He wasn't even smiling anymore as he continued to stare at your man. 

"A friend," you say before Suguru can make this already worse, "and he was just leaving." 

"Oh," he says, before smiling down at you. Delightfully oblivious. 

"We'll talk later, okay Suguru?" You send Suguru a hurried smile before dragging him into your shared flat. 

You lock the door behind you. He says something just then, you laugh, trying so hard not to sense Suguru's presence through the door. You don't think he leaves. Not for a good long while. 

You don't speak to Suguru, after that. 

You wince whenever you see his name through your contact list now, as though even seeing a remnant of him is painful. You don't go to the temple anymore. Your communication with the girls turns nonexistent. 

Suguru hasn't said anything to you either. The line has grown dead both ways. 

You feel guilty, even though you know it wasn't your fault, you still can't help but wonder if you could have done something different. Did you do something that made him think you were interested? You probably had, knowing how unaware you could be, sometimes. You couldn't help but feel ecstatic when the two of you reconnected again. You'd been so excited for Suguru, happy for him because he'd finally found his way. You didn't know he still liked you after all these years. It was a schoolyard crush, at least, it was supposed to be.

Looking back, you didn't think you'd even told Suguru that you were already seeing someone. One blunder after a blunder. 

It must have been embarrassing for him, you can't help but think. Even when he was younger, Suguru had always held onto his pride dearly. You don't know if your friendship could ever be the same after this, but you'd like to extend the olive branch. If he'd take it. 

You tell your boyfriend about the incident eventually. You know it's not your fault, but you still feel like it is. He takes it well, once you explain, looking at you sweetly. 

"I could tell something was going on between you and him," he says, "but thanks for telling me." 

"You aren't mad?" you ask, half-afraid of the answer. 

"At you? Course not. Him, however"- he made a swing motion with his fist "-he does something like that again and I'll punch his lights out." 

You laugh, knowing it's a joke, giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek. He beams. 

It takes a week of radio silence to forget about the mishap. You're humming a song you've forgotten the lyrics to when you arrive at your apartment. Your boyfriend said that he was coming home early tonight. You'd planned something quiet for the evening. A movie, cheap drinks. 

"Welcome home." Suguru grins. You freeze. 

He sits on the couch, splayed out like he belonged there. He's not wearing his priest garment, now garbed with a simple shirt and jeans. It takes a minute for you to figure out what you're looking at. Slowly, you close the door behind you. 

"Hey," you say, hoping your tone doesn't indicate just off-put by this encounter you are.

Suguru doesn't seem to mind your reluctance. 

"He let me in." Suguru points to somewhere behind you. Oh, your boyfriend is probably in the bathroom. "He was such a nice man. You were very lucky." 

"Thank you," you find yourself saying, "I am." 

His smile grows bigger, and you wonder if there's a joke you aren't let in on. Like he's saying something that's going right above your head. 

When you take a glance behind you, your partner is nowhere to be seen. It makes you wonder if you should say something to Suguru right now. Mend the bridge that's shattered between you. Currently, he seemed to be in a good mood. 

"Suguru," you start, taking a tiny step forward. You twiddle with your fingers. 

"Listen, I'm really sorry for how things went the last time we met. I just-" He hushes you, putting a finger to his lips. 

"You shouldn't air out your affairs in front of him like that," he tells you, "you might hurt his feelings." 

What? You look behind you again. Nothing. 

Suguru laughs. It sounds off. Wordlessly, he points behind you again but angles his finger a tiny bit higher. You follow his direction. 

Immediately, you wish you hadn't. 

He's in pieces, scattered all over the ceiling. A hand is above the door, a leg is above the kitchen. It's like his appendages were chopped before being glued onto the ceiling. There's no blood, just body parts. 

The worst part was that he was still alive. His head was still attached to his torso, the only part of him that was still intact. His mouth was open, his eyes were wide, and it took you a second that he was trying to tell you something. Repeating a word over and over. 

Run. 

Your hand covers your mouth as you continue to stare up at him. What was left of him. You think your knees are threatening to give before Suguru's holding you up. You can feel him lead you towards the couch, sitting you down in the plush mattress. He curls an arm around you, letting out a sigh.

"I meant what I said." Suguru adjusts your hair. "He was such a nice man, for a monkey anyway."

It doesn't occur to you that Suguru had done this until he speaks. You'd known Suguru said he performed exorcisms in his temple. You didn't-you couldn't-

"You?" you can barely push the wavering words out, "you-how-Suguru-" 

He hushes you, drawing you closer to his body. You're completely dwarfed by him as he rests his head on your neck, breathing in your scent. You are barely coherent, sucking in air as your voice dissolves into sobs. 

"I would have liked it if things hadn't turned out this way," he sighs, "but I don't believe it would have turned out any differently." 

His tone is almost pitying. 

"You may be the exception, but you are still one of them. Unaware of the true hierarchy." Suguru hums. 

"That's alright. It wasn't your fault. You were simply born this way," he continues, "I don't mind teaching you." 

You wiggle, trying your hardest to get out of his grip. Suguru only clicks his tongue. A harsh grip on your waist is enough to still you. You can't understand what's going on, maybe you never will, but you know one thing. You let a monster back into your life. Geto Suguru was not the same person you knew when you were younger. 

Or perhaps, he was always this way. He was just better at hiding it, back then. 

"I'm sorry," you finally let out, "Suguru, I'm-I'm so so sorry. I'll do whatever-whatever you want. Anything just please please please-" 

"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for him," Suguru doesn't sound too apologetic, "though, I could put him out of his pain. Would you like that?" 

You didn't need him to elaborate. Suguru would kill him. Or perhaps he was already dead. His moving eyes, his twitching lips, were all just muscle memory. The last of his brain synapses. There was no science, no magic, that could bring him back from this. 

And maybe, that tiny selfish part of you wanted to stop seeing his mangled body. 

You nod and you can feel Suguru's grin. He snaps his fingers. The thing disappears, vanishes into mist. 

"All gone!" Suguru declares. "There. Isn't that better?" 

You wince when he touches your face, brushing away the tears. You're too scared to do anything more. You don't fight when he kisses your neck. You don't fight when he kisses your jaw. You don't fight when he kisses your lips. 

It's with the same gentleness as the last time he'd kissed you, right outside of your apartment. Soft, warm, loving. 

You start sobbing then. Ugly, heaving, heartbroken. He takes it in stride, humming as he pushes your body down until your back is pressed on the couch. His lips brush your damp cheek. 

"There's no need to be afraid." Through your tears, you can see him smiling down at you. "The worst has passed. I'll take care of you from now on." 

The worst part about all of this is how honest he sounds. Like he truly believes he's doing this for your good. It makes you wonder who the delusional one is. Him or you. 

He's tuts in sympathy as you lay there, shivering underneath him.

"You must be so confused, poor thing." He tilts his head, the back of his fingers stroking your cheeks. "I should explain, shouldn't I? Unfortunately, I'm more interested in other things right now."

You must look horrible, but Suguru doesn't seem to mind, bending down, melding your lips with his. He sighs, like he'd waited eons for this. You stiffen when you feel his hands play with the band of your skirt. As if he can feel your beginnings of struggle, he pulls back, staring you down. Brown, almost black, eyes peer down at you. There's a hint of a warning curling on his lip. 

You still immediately. If he could do that, what could he do to you?

"None of that," he chides, and yet he's so painfully gentle about it, "be good." 

What was he? How did he do this? How could he? You want to ask them all but you can only get one out when you lift your head, getting your voice to work. 

"Why?" 

You don't know what you're asking. He clearly does. Another soft smile. You wish you could tear it off his face. 

"You were always the exception, even back then," He says quietly into the stale air of the apartment. His eyes drift and you wonder if he's remembering the you all those years ago, secretly passing pastries to him and Satoru, giggling at jokes only a highschooler could make. "The only one of the humans who didn't utterly disgust me." 

Fingers reach for the hem of your skirt, pushing it up your bare legs. 

"And it's natural, isn't it? To protect the exceptions, the rarities of the world," he says, "To keep them away from the impure." 

You start crying again. He patiently hushes you, kissing away your tears. This time, you don't bother putting up a fight. You just squeeze your eyes closed, flinching when he reaches to your inner thighs, feeling the cotton of your panties. His breath hitches. So does yours. 

He bypasses the cloth with two dexterous fingers. When he touches the skin, you flinch, trying to squeeze your thighs closed. It doesn't help. Suguru leans forward, you can feel his breath on your cheek as you shiver underneath him. He finds your clit, teasing it with a calloused thumb. You think you're mouthing it, even when you can't bring yourself to say it. Don't touch me don't touch me don't touch me. 

He doesn't listen. You don't know if he heard it or not. It didn't matter, either way. It wasn’t like he was planning to stop.

Despite how much you don’t want this, your body doesn’t listen. His touch is gentle, soothing on your pussy despite the horrors you’ve seen him do. It doesn’t take long for your cunt to adjust, dripping.

There’s a satisfied sigh above you and you know Suguru had felt it too.

One finger pushes into you. You gasp, curling your back, unprepared but Suguru’s giving a pleasant hum, easing you into it. Despite how humiliating this entire situation is, your one reprieve is being able to bury your head into his neck, keeping yourself there as he continues to have his way with your body. You can feel him kiss the crown of your head, an action that completely juxtapositions another finger entering your wet hole.

He’s gentle, but not slow. He fingerfucks you with earnestness, curling his fingers when your walls tighten around him. Your crying is interrupted by the reluctant moans and gasps every time he presses deeper into you, finding a spot that has you seeing stars behind your eyelids. You bit your lip, keeping the noises inward. He tuts at that.

“Don’t be shy,” he coos in your ear, “it’s okay to enjoy it. I want you to.”

As if to highlight his words, he gives another particularly intense push, you wince when you can hear the wet squelch of his fingers.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Suguru asks, “I could always be this nice with you.” You let out a squeak when his thumb presses against your clit, unable to keep it in. Suguru gives a breathy laugh.

His other hand starts to explore, reaching up to your button-up, flicking them off with a single-experienced hand. The bra you wore is barely seductive, but Suguru’s tracing the ends of it anyway, touching the fabric just by your skin before pushing the undergarment down.

Whether it’s from the air or his fingers fucking your pussy, your tits are already sensitive. You let out a breathy whine when Suguru grips on of them too hard, squeezing the fat in his large hands.

“So sweet for me.” You can hear the smile on his lips.

Everything becomes too much, and before you can think, your hand is shooting down, grabbing onto his wrist, squeezing as hard as you can, your nails digging into his skin. Your other is pushing against his shoulder. He barely seemed to even notice, holding you down with his weight, thrusting in his fingers all the way to the knuckle.

“Suguru I-” It’s supposed to be another plea for him to stop, but your weak voice calling out his name only seems to excite him further. His thumb dances on your swollen clit, his fingers never relenting until he’s pushing you higher and higher until you fall.

White hot electric pleasure snaps within you, forcing your body to jolt, as you curl up from the sofa. You think he’s saying something, words of comfort as though he could be any crueler, but you’re not listening. You came so hard you almost forget where you are, who you’re with. You can feel Suguru watching until you fall against the cushion again, utterly spent. Your grip slackens against his wrist, before falling away completely.

“See? Didn’t I say I’ll take care of you?” You don't even have the energy to glare at him.

He’s giving another laugh, kissing your cheek before he’s leaning back. His fingers slip out of you, and then there’s a sucking sound. You can’t help it, blinking open your eyes. Suguru stares back at you, eyes half-mast, a pink tongue flicking out to lick at his fingers before he puts them in his mouth completely, swallowing down the evidence of your orgasm. A lewd moan escapes him, muffled. You once again wished you hadn’t looked.

You’re already expecting it, but you still flinch when you hear the zipper loud and clear. He moves his jeans low enough to pull out his cock. He’s already hard, a bead of precum right at the tip as he gives a few cursory pumps. He’s big, you blearily realize. Despite the mind-numbing orgasm he’d just given you, you doubt it’d be enough to even take him.

“It won’t fit,” you find yourself whispering.

Suguru just hums in acknowledgement, giving you a knowing look as he finishes tugging off your panties. The fabric slides off your shaking leg before dropping onto the carpeted floor.

It’s too late for a fight, but you’re rising anyway, pressing your hands against the cushions, trying to create some space. Suguru is quick to shut it down again, leaning back into you as he palms himself some more.

“You’ll be alright,” he assures but it doesn’t help the panic the fear in your soul, “I cherish you too much to break you.”

With little effort, he spreads your thighs. His cock rubs against you once, twice, before entering your throbbing pussy.

Already it’s too much. He’s thick, stretching out your walls, threatening to rip you in half. You close your eyes again, squeezing them shut as the pain starts to edge a little too close to bloody. Helpless, your hand finds his shoulder, not pushing but digging your nails into his shirt. He purrs when you grip him tighter, moving until he’s seated fully into you.

He stays like that, keeping himself there as your walls squeeze him tighter. It’s almost a relief that it ended, but now, he’s taken everything.

“Look at me.”

His voice is rough, almost a rasp, an order. You find yourself obeying. Through your tears, you blink up at him, finding his gaze.

He stares down at you, a look of satisfaction in his eyes and you don’t think you are yours anymore.

He pulls back, your cunt tries to suck him back in, but he drags his cock out anyway until only his head is barely inside.

“Perfect,” Suguru murmurs as though it’s a secret not even you should hear, “absolutely perfect.”

You cry out when he pushes back in. It’s a gentle pace, slow and steady like he’s easing you into it. He’s being kind, you finally realize, a thought that makes your skin crawl. It’s so much worse than if he had been nasty. Harsh and biting with thrusts that would make your body sore and weak afterwards. If he was abusive, not caring about you, just his own pleasure. You wish Suguru was being mean, being cruel. At least then, you wouldn’t like it.

Despite the unexpected size, your body is adjusting. Pain ripples into reluctant pleasure, numbing your mind as his hips meet yours. It gets even worse when Suguru leans down, biting and sucking at your tits, enough for there to leave a mark. Something that will bruise and remind you of what he did.

“You don’t know how long I wanted this,” he’s saying somewhere above you but your head is swimming and you can’t focus where you want to, “how long I’ve wanted you like this.”

Suguru sits up again, grabbing one of your legs, hiking your hips up so his cock can go that much deeper inside of you. You babble something that you yourself can’t decipher. Suguru’s lips curl into another painfully soft smile.

“Ever since highschool,” he’s confessing like he’s a sinner and you’re his God but you know that isn’t true because what sort of god would be humiliated like this? “Remember that apron you wore?”

His hand reaches over, spreading over your pussy, stretching the fatty part of your cunt so he can have a better view of him disappearing inside of you.

“I always wondered what you’d look like wearing nothing but that on, spread out on the counter for me.”

He flicks your clit, and for the second time that day, you can feel yourself crashing. As though he can sense it, his thrusts shorten, grinding against your pussy and there’s a hand catching your chin, forcing you to look.

Suguru’s smile is gone, replaced by a snarl that promises to eat you alive. His eyes are blown wide, and he’s gritting his teeth, barely holding control by a hair.

“Come for me.”

You’re too far gone to do anything but listen.

You stutter in his grasp, arching your back, cumming with a breathy whine. It’s like a tide, pushing you out into sea, refusing to take you in. Unconsciously, the leg he holds tightens around his waist as you pulse around his cock.

He follows after, barely holding himself together, not when your cunt is milking him for all its’ worth. There’s a few particularly harsh thrusts before something warm and sticky fills your battered pussy before he's falling into you, pressing your body against the soft cushions.

You lay there, panting with him on top of you. Slowly, you come back to yourself, feeling your arms your legs. Your brain resets, and you’re suddenly remembering that you have a murderer’s cock inside of you.

Suguru’s face is buried in your neck. He gives a shaky kiss to your jaw; another on the corner of your lips. You can only stare at the ceiling, where the remnants of a body used to be.

"You know, the girls have always wanted a mother," Suguru's saying into your skin.

"I'm sure they will be very pleased with my choice."

#yandere #yandere jjk #x reader #dark content #dark jjk #non con touching #tw:noncon #dark geto suguru #yandere geto suguru #tw:gore

[mrfoox]

Ok over an hour later and no im still a mess...

#miranda talking shit #I know i wont find an answer today bc i need time to weight pros and cons etc but like... My mind really is all over #Do i have the right to set some kind of rules? He's more experienced than me and this was his idea. Meanwhile im a virgin and basically not #Done much at all... Would it be crazy if i set some rules or boundaries anf what would those be? The obvious is. If i say im uncomfortable #It stops. That goes for him too. But idk if i can demand more and what it would be? I at one hand cant see myself setting the pace #Bc im so anxious and shy... Plus i wonder if theres anything one can do about ... Me feelinh potentially used? I dont know #Thats a worry for me. That he'll just want to f me and then hes gone. He said he wouldn't bc he cares about me #But its a worry? But how would that... Work... He have to give me a hug before he leaves? Would that be stupid idk. #My biggest fears is that I'll feel used or develop more feelings. I think i have the feelings under control. I obviously like him already #But if we do this we would go in with those expectations. Id not expect him to love me like that... I feel like i should for my own saftey #Set up some ttpe of rules to prevent me being hurt but i have no experience so i cant say what a rule would be stupid and what would be #Helpful/reasonable? I also know. We wont go all the way any time soon. He said that to me that he knows that im still a virgin #And he would not want to be the one to take it if i wasnt completely comfortable with it. He knows that if we do iy it'll be very #Well... Mild for a long time unless always. I know anyone who knows me will most likely scream and tell me not to... But also more than 50% #Of me really wants to... I feel like if this is a mistake? He'll be the best person I'd be able to do that mistake with? Does that make #Any sense? Because i trust him and like him and i feel like he does the same for me... I feel he would listen to me and respect me and not #Force me or push himself on me? And im definitely curious... Like yeah... And id kinda want to get some more experience... And gasp #Have fun??? Like when we discussed this even i laughed. He made me laugh during this. So i was obviously comfortable enough to do that #I guess this is an brain vs heart thing... Am i stupid and selfish for wanting this bc it'll potentially feel good and I'll feel wanted? #Maybe. Probably. But also... I can not think of any mistake like this ive ever made in my life. I havent allowed myself to do stupid shit #Ive not gotten stupid wasted or done something like that in my teens... This feels. If it'll hurt I'll learn from it and not be scarred #Forever? But i dont know. I think big part is that its new and exciting and all that and i want something like that... I want to feel #Something like that.... At least for a while as long as its actually fun... #Any advice or thoughts please do share. I know i sound naive and stupid bc i am honestly... But is that only a bad thing? #Idk genuinely so... Any thoughts I'll take anything. Or questions or any own experience i just need some others views

[lassieposting]

Been thinking a lot lately about romanced Astarion post-spawn ending.

Because like. The Funnest™ thing about cptsd is how much of it gets delayed. When you're trapped in a lengthy, ongoing traumatic situation, you do not have the ability to process and start healing your mental wounds. Your brain and body go into survival mode, and all that matters in the moment is that you somehow cope with the horrors. He wouldn't have been able to even begin dealing with the physical, mental and emotional toll of two hundred years of torture, brutalization and dehumanization while he was under Cazador's control; he is in constant danger, surrounded by sharks in the water, and survival means not letting them smell blood. He can't afford to fall apart, to show weakness. He is shockingly functional and competent in-game, partly because he has to be to work as a game character, but also partly because...it do be like that, to some degree. When death, for whatever reason, is not an option, you just have to shut down and keep going. People adapt in order to survive, and when we learn that showing an "injury" (physical or psychological) only gets us punished, we learn to hide it.

Early-game Astarion is terrified - of Cazador, of Godey, of being hunted down by his siblings, of being staked or sold off at the first opportunity by Tav and the other companions, of turning into a mindflayer, of another painful transformation, of losing himself when he's only just regained his autonomy after two centuries, of what Cazador will do to him if he ever finds him - the man is overwhelmed by fear. He's on thin ice as a vampire, and he's not going to give them any more reason to want him gone. Survival instinct is still in control, and in this new situation, crafting some fragile safety for himself means not only selling his body for protection, but also being useful. Clear-headed. Good in a fight.

Endgame Astarion finds himself in a completely different situation. The time-sensitive overarching threats - Cazador and impending ceremorphosis - have been dealt with. He has a loving, supportive partner he's really starting to feel safe with - Tav/Durge has proved that they're on his side, that their affection is genuine, that they don't just want him for the one thing he's been told he's good for. They've told him they're going to help him find a workaround for his sun allergy. He's getting fed regularly. He has time to stop, and breathe, and just. Recuperate.

For the first time in 200 years, he is safe.

And it will probably take a while to catch up, during which time he will seem to be coping really well, but at some point, his brain is going to realise that he's safe, and it's going to finally start processing the sheer fucking horror he's been through. Since I haven't seen anyone talking about this particular fun aspect of cptsd, allow me to offer u some thoughts on issues Astarion and Tav might end up dealing with in the months/years postgame, during the

✨ Delayed Trauma Response ✨

Memory Gaps: Astarion realising, as he opens up to Tav, that there are entire years or decades of his life from which he has only a handful of memories. Great big blank stretches where he has no idea where he was, who he was with, what was happening to him. Some of the gaps cover years at a time where he was so dissociated and shut down that he just didn't retain any memories of what was going on around him. Some are shorter periods of particularly horrific torture that his brain has deliberately blocked out to protect him.

Recovered Memories: At some point, years into the future when he's done A Lot of healing, he might find that every now and then, a fragment of those lost memories will unexpectedly come back to him. He'll catch a particular scent on the breeze, or overhear a specific phrase in the street, or cross paths with someone whose face is oddly familiar, and he'll get a glimpse of an acute horror he'd filed neatly away where it couldn't hurt him anymore. He very rarely remembers all the context to those flashes of his past. He might recall that he was punished, but not what he was punished for, or he might remember words spoken by a greedy conquest, but be unable to recall the man's face.

Dissociation: Tav knows going into this relationship that Astarion has basically made an art out of dissociating during sex. They also know, from their shared encounter with the drow twins, that he's not great at enforcing his own boundaries - he'll always say he'll speak up and back out if he stops having fun, but in practice he rarely does; he's not used to having the option of saying no to his partner, and being punished if he tries. So they know there's going to be some practice and experimentation and negotiation necessary there, to figure out the rough limits of his comfort zone. But once he starts really processing, there may be days where he just checks out completely. Tav will touch his shoulder, and he'll startle and apologise - "Terribly sorry, darling, I was miles away for a moment there." And Tav will gently point out that he's been sat in the same spot vacantly staring into the middle distance for hours. They've been checking in on him occasionally and this is the first time he's responded. It's unsettling, to say the least.

Lost Time: Astarion was very young when he was turned, physically mature but emotionally juvenile. He was basically an overgrown teenager, in the phase of life where elves are just starting to learn who they are and what they want, and figure out their place in the world. But he never got to do that, because he spent his formative young adult years in a world where everyone became an abuser, where his only means of surviving was to smile and charm and obey while even his basic human dignity was stripped away. He learned that communication is based on manipulation. He learned that the powerful can do whatever they like to the weak. He learned an incredibly toxic, abusive way of life, and that was his family dynamic, his everyday life, for as long as he can remember. Now that he's free and safe, he's realising that the world doesn't actually work that way and that he's now far behind even shorter-lived races in social/emotional development. He's grieving for the person he could've been. He's grieving for the life he could've lived. He's grieving for all the years he already lost, and the ones he'll lose in the future as he flounders to catch up. A decent chunk of his life was stolen from him, and that's time he will never get back.

Flashbacks & Night Terrors: Specifically the kind where your brain convinces you that an injury you had a long time ago is actually an injury you have (or are receiving) right now. There are nights where he'll wake Tav in a panic, because his back feels like it's on fire, he can feel every freshly-carved wound dripping blood and he's in so much pain he doesn't know what else to do. If Tav looks, they see nothing out of the ordinary - old, long-healed scars, same as always. But the pain and the fear and the distress are all very real to him, and all they can do is try to comfort him, cover his back with cool damp cloths or healing salves, remind him he's safe now and they're not leaving him.

Boundary Shifting: Sometimes, Tav can come up and hug him from behind, and he'll melt into them a little bit and go all soft and happy. Other times, he might flinch away or go rigid at the same gesture. A lot of the time, it really depends on how he's feeling on the day, but at least a little bit of it is deliberate - he's pushing to find the limit of just how much autonomy Tav is willing to give him. He wants to know at what point they'll stop respecting his "no". Will they accept it if he doesn't want a hug? If he wants to sleep in his own room tonight? At what point will understanding turn to anger at being rejected? From the drow twins four/fivesome, we also know he's got a tendency to push his own boundaries, and jump into things he's actually not ready for, and Tav would be the one holding his hand through the fallout as he tries to figure out what his own boundaries even are.

Frustration! So, so much frustration. He wants to be Over It already. He wants to move past everything that ever happened to him and never think about it again. He hates that Cazador still has a grip on him, even in death - he doesn't want to give the bastard the satisfaction of dwelling on all his punishments, his cruelties. Sometimes, that frustration is going to explode outwards at Tav - he'll get angry at them for coddling him, or find something small to start a fight over, or he'll set an unreasonable boundary and try to defend it because he's still learning what healthy boundaries look like. Sometimes, it will implode inwards, and that won't be about Tav at all, but they'll get the brunt of it all the same - it might come out as self-loathing or self-punishment, and he'll react by doing something stupid, like trying to drive them away, because having a secure, relatively healthy relationship is terrifying and the instinct is to destroy it before Tav can. There will be yelling and angry tears and deeply unhealthy coping mechanisms, and they'd have to work through that. Trauma is ugly, and Astarion is right at the beginning of a very long journey towards healing.

Abandonment Issues: Astarion wants the relationship to be one between equals, but he's kind of got Tav on a pedestal all the same. They saved him. They helped him get rid of Cazador for good. They chose him and love him despite a wealth of better (in his eyes) options, and all his baggage. They stayed with him even when he has very little to offer them. We know his vanity and obnoxious self-absorption is a fragile attempt to obscure the fact that his self-esteem is in the dirt and he has virtually no self-worth, and there are a couple of occasions in-game where it becomes clear that he's afraid of losing the one person who somehow considers him lovable. After seeing Sebastian and all the other conquests, he begs Tav not to hate him, saying that he did what he had to. If he has a rival for Tav's affections, and Tav informs him that they broke up with the rival to be with Astarion, he's shocked and the first thing out of his mouth is, "You ended things with them for me? Why?" And if Durge tries to break up with him for his own safety, his facade drops and he immediately asks if he did something wrong. So while he's not afraid to argue with Tav, if something happens - like an angry outburst - that upsets or angers them, and he thinks he's at risk of losing that one steady, stable person in his life, he might well cling and overcompensate to try and repair what he thinks is a fracture in their relationship. He'll fawn or beg or crawl into Tav's bed to "apologise" and "make it up to them" because, well, very occasionally it worked on Cazador. With patience and good communication and lots of repeatedly driving the lesson home to overcome 200 years of education to the contrary, he will eventually start to believe that "I'm really pissed off at you right now," does not equate to, "You are the worst mistake I've ever made and I am leaving you."

Panic Attacks: I feel like honestly he'd get some symptoms of these on a fairly regular basis, but he's never been given any option other than just trying to power through them. He's used to realising he's shaking, he's used to feeling like he's watching himself from outside his body, or like he can't breathe even though he doesn't need to. He's very familiar with the sickening fear in his gut, so intense it makes his head spin. He's not used to being comforted or reassured about them - he thinks they're normal. Tav disagrees.

Anyway, cptsd is messy and complicated and often looks very different from person to person so these will not represent everyone's but these are just some ideas for what the ongoing recovery process might make them work through, based on the aspects I'm most familiar with.

Projecting? Who's projecting? I'm not projecting. Shut up.

#bg3 #bg3 headcanons #bg3 meta #astarion x tav #astarion x durge #mom said it's my turn to project on the blorbo #astarion ancunin

[nadvs]

watch and learn (part five)

pairing fratboy! rafe cameron x female reader

rating explicit 18+

content warning drug and alcohol use

summary it takes one conversation with your college dorm neighbor to know you won’t get along. rafe is loud, rude, and short-tempered. after he overhears you talking about a disappointing fling, he loses his confidence in his sexual abilities and suggests you start hooking up to both improve your skills in the bedroom. you can’t stand him, but it’s too good of an offer to turn down.

» masterlist

*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

The moon is bright and the air is brisk as you and Rafe sneak out of the lakehouse and rush towards the dock, still only in your bikini.

The stone steps leading from the porch to the backyard are slackened and a bit slippery, so you instinctually grab his hand to keep yourself steady.

He tenses immediately, his hand closing as your fingers pinch around his. He wriggles out of your grip.

“Rafe, I’m just trying not to fall,” you say, irritated.

“Watch where you’re going then,” he tells you. You scoff. Asshole.

This is just like the other night, when he warned you not to do any couple shit. As if you’d ever consider a relationship with someone so emotionally unavailable.

“You need to chill,” you tell him. “Holding hands for a few seconds doesn’t make us a couple.”

It’s too much for him, being touched by you in an affectionate, non-sexual way. You teased him the other day for cuddling you and he hated that you were sort of right about him liking it.

Rafe sighs and decides to just give in, offering his hand to you. You cup his cool palm and he doesn’t squeeze your fingers back. It’s fine. You only need the stability.

You reach the long, planked dock and let go of his hand immediately, following him towards the boat bobbing in the water.

“How’d you even get the key?” you ask, trying to push away the tension.

“Stole it,” he says.

“Wait, really?”

“No, not really,” Rafe teases, looking back at you.

You roll your eyes and smile. At least when you argue, it doesn’t last for very long. Besides, you’re both here for one reason and there’s no need to complicate things with any sort of petty conflict.

The cruiser boat’s shimmering black planes are sharp and sleek and the only covering is a glossy roof on angled pillars. You thought it’d be more private.

You stand behind Rafe as he begins to unravel the rope tying the boat to the dock.

“What if someone sees us?” you ask.

“Let them,” he grumbles.

“Rafe,” you warn.

“I’ll drive it out far,” he says, motioning towards the boat. “Go.”

You step onto the swaying boat and settle onto one of the two cushioned booths beneath the roof, watching him.

Even in the moonlight, you can see the planes of his biceps bulging beneath his t-shirt sleeves as he works on the rope. He seems to know exactly what he’s doing.

Perks of being rich, you figure. He’s probably lived such a privileged, comfortable life.

When Rafe steps onto the boat, he flips a few switches and turns the key into the ignition. Thankfully, the motor offers only a quiet hum, not alerting anyone in the house upstairs.

He slowly shifts the throttle forward with one hand, holding the steering wheel with the other. He’s so confident, so in control.

You were already turned on from the way he propositioned you upstairs earlier tonight, but watching him is making lust coarse through you even harder.

He may be a jerk most of the time, but he’s hot enough that you can ignore it.

“Do this with other girls,” you tell him. “Trust me.”

“What?” He glances back at you.

“Apparently, a guy driving a boat is hot,” you say. You almost forgot this whole arrangement was supposed to be instructional.

Rafe looks forward again, his lips quirked in a coy smile.

He slows the boat down in the middle of the quiet lake and kills the engine. The water ripples beneath you from the motion of the boat cutting through it.

He loves that you don’t wait for him to come to you. You wedge yourself between the wheel and him, pressing your body up against his, pulling him down to kiss you.

His hands find your waist, and you reach back to push them down to your ass.

“We skipping the foreplay you’re always annoying me about?” he mumbles against your lips, fingers digging into your skin.

“I hate to give you any credit,” you say, “but you already kind of did it. When we were talking upstairs and you said...”

“You can do it,” Rafe teases.

“That you could make me cum in a minute,” you finally say, body flushing with heat. “Foreplay can start hours before we even touch.”

“Damn, so… you been turned on since then?” he teases. It’s so gratifying that the whole time you were another guy, you were thinking about what Rafe would do to you.

“Shut up,” you laugh, pulling him in again, your hands cupping the back of his neck to kiss him.

Your open mouths are hot, tongues tangling together as Rafe grips your ass harder and grinds against you. His body curves into yours as he kisses you deeper, his touches growing rougher.

He pulls his shirt off and his bare chest against your half-naked body is firm and warm. His hand slides up the curve of your spine and finds the knot holding your bikini top together. He pulls the string, brushing down the straps and letting the bikini fall.

Rafe ducks to put one of your breasts in his mouth, sucking and flicking with his tongue, making you throw your head back in pleasure.

You throb with need as he licks you, taking in the sensation of the cold air pressing against your skin, his warm mouth on you, the boat gently rocking in the middle of the dark lake.

He puts his hand on your other breast, squeezing and pinching your nipple and your fingers find their way into Rafe’s soft hair, gently pulling at the roots, enjoying the grunt of pleasure you hear from him.

He eagerly pulls at the hem of your bottoms, mouth losing contact with you as he peels them down your thighs, crouching to get them to your ankles so you can step out of them.

“Damn, baby,” Rafe says huskily, taking the sight in. “Your pussy is so fucking pretty.” Your stomach numbs at his words. He’s been craving another taste of you for so long. Too long.

With his knees on the cold floor, he leans forward and flattens his tongue against your lips, earning a tremble from you. Your knees weaken as he uses his tongue to spread your lips apart, dipping between your folds with urgency.

You spread your legs and hike one up, resting your foot on the cushioned seat you were just sitting on.

“Good girl,” he says. “Spreading yourself open for me.”

You look down, moaning as he laps at you, taking in the way his eyes look in the moonlight, the way his hair is bunched between your fingers.

“Shit, that’s so good,” you purr. “You’re so fucking good at that.”

“I said less than a minute. Start counting,” Rafe says smugly. You giggle, amused and aroused and elated. The numbers sound weak as you start to mumble through them.

He starts to suck harder, slurping and enjoying your taste. Your voice immediately starts to waver and he pulls back.

“Don’t stop counting,” he orders.

“Four… five… six,” you continue breathily. Rafe closes his eyes as he savors you, already addicted to how you taste and how soft you are.

After working your clit, he shifts to shove his tongue inside of you. The sound of you trying to focus on counting while you moan from the pleasure he’s giving you is cosmic, out of this damn world.

Rafe continues to fuck you with his tongue, saliva starting to run down his chin, his nose wet from you. He moves back up to your clit, tongue flicking quickly.

“Thirty-four… oh, fuck…” you say.

“Oh, fuck? Is that a new number?” he mocks, making you smile and bite your lip as you tighten with bliss. You feel his big hand stroke up and down your middle, trapping your clit between his fingers and squeezing.

“Rafe,” you moan. “That’s so… fuck, that feels amazing.”

He smirks and locks his lips around your clit as he shifts to push two fingers into you. You clench around him and he can’t wait to be inside you.

He curls his fingers in and out of you while he sucks your clit, making you start to shake.

“Forty-one… oh, shit… okay, I’m…” you whisper, a wave of satisfaction prickling at your skin. He thrusts his fingers with more force, sucks harder, looking up at you as your mouth goes slack and your eyes squeeze shut.

Making a girl cum was always an ego thing to him. But he realizes that he loves making you orgasm simply because it means you feel good.

You unravel with a rippling rush through your body, fluttering around his fingers, bucking up against his face.

When you slowly come down from the climax, you pull your hips away from him.

“What number did you get to? Forty-one?” he teases. “What’d I tell you? Less than a minute.”

“So cocky,” you say, smiling and blissed out.

“Get on your back,” he orders, taking the condom out of his shorts before stripping the rest of his clothes off.

You settle on the hard boat floor, watching Rafe roll the condom on. You would’ve offered to put it on him, but he’s so rushed to dive into you.

You spread your legs and Rafe settles between them, pushing in with a quick thrust that makes you gasp.

He leans over to kiss you, swallowed by your slick warmth, letting you taste yourself on his lips. You tilt your pelvis up so he can get as deep inside of you as possible.

He pulls back and drives into you even harder, making you jolt from the force.

“Wrap your legs around me,” he orders you. You squeeze his taut torso with your legs, maintaining eye contact like he taught you. He’s gazing down at you, the starry sky shimmering behind him as he plunges in and out of you.

You’re so tight, so wet, so fucking perfect, that he doesn’t even want to cum, he just wants to feel the way you squeeze him.

His pace is fast, his eyes trailing over your face and committing the way you look when he’s fucking you to memory in case this is the last time.

The thought of losing this makes his skin burn.

Rafe’s palm presses at your neck, his fingers tightening around your jaw as he lowers himself and positions your head so that he can speak into your ear.

“You know he’s not gonna make you feel this good, right?” he mutters huskily. “He can’t eat your pussy like I can. He can’t fuck you like I can.”

This show of possession is just dirty talk, you tell yourself. But what if it isn’t?

Rafe props himself up again, gazing at you with his hand on your jaw as he thrusts in and out of you. How’s he supposed to be okay with someone taking you away from him?

You feel a cool drop of water on your arm. Then another on your cheek.

“Shit,” you gasp with a laugh. “I think it’s raining.”

He smiles while he looks down at you, enjoying the sound of your laugh.

“I don’t wanna stop,” he whispers. “Do you?”

You shake your head no and pull him closer so his warm cheek is pressed against yours. This is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. He’s filling you so nicely, both of you moaning and panting and laughing as the rain starts to come down harder.

You’re wrapped around him as he thrusts in and out of you hard and fast. The tension inside him finally snaps and he goes still before dissolving into pleasure, emptying himself into the condom.

He goes limp on top of you, panting against your neck. The rain is torrential and loud now, his back coated in water.

Rafe pulls out of you and you stand, laughing together as you rush to find your bathing suit top and bottom while he dresses himself, the wet clothes plastered to his skin.

You try to find shelter under the boat’s curved roof as Rafe starts the boat, watching him navigate and feeling your heart in your throat.

That didn’t feel like just fucking. The way he smiled at you was something else.

It’s late morning when you wake up, your friends still snoozing. You trudge downstairs and decide to enjoy the view of the lake that you didn’t get a chance to look at when you arrived yesterday.

You step out on the back porch, immediately thinking about how you snuck out with Rafe last night. And how you ran back inside, trying to be quiet, genuinely having fun with him. And everything in between.

You know it’s silly to overthink, but your mind replays what he said. You know he’s not gonna make you feel this good, right? He had to have been talking about Blake.

Was he jealous? The way he was smiling at you while he was inside you makes you think he does have a sweet side to him, that maybe he feels more than just lust for you.

You hear the door open behind you and turn to see Blake, adorably squinting from the sun.

“Early riser?” he gruffs, shutting the door behind him. You grin.

“You consider this early?” you say, checking your phone to see it’s almost 11:00. He chuckles.

Blake comes to stand beside you, leaning over the railing and looking at you with the same kind smile he was wearing last night in the hot tub.

“How’d you sleep?” he asks, his kind eyes softening with concern. “It wasn’t too cold?”

You bite the inside of your cheek, remembering how hot and flushed you were getting into bed after your time with Rafe last night. You wonder if he’ll tell Blake about your time together. And if Blake will care.

“No, I was fine,” you say.

“You sure you wanna leave today?” he asks, his tone sweet. The boys are going back to campus tomorrow, but you and your friends agreed to stay only until this afternoon.

“Yeah,” you say. “Don’t you bros have to bond or something?”

“Don’t tell them I said this, but I’ve bonded with them enough,” he jokes.

After everything you’ve learned about Blake over text and in person, you can tell he’s a good guy. You like the way he remembers things about you, the way he always looks at you like he missed you, the way he’s always polite to you.

Rafe walks into the empty kitchen and the first thing he sees is you and Blake through the window. You’re standing inches away from each other, leaning over the raised porch overlooking the lake.

His stomach turns when he sees you laugh at something Blake said.

“Dude, I’m fucking shattered,” one of his hungover buddies says, dragging his feet into the kitchen. Rafe thinks he is, too, and it’s not from drinking. He grabs some water and heads back upstairs to lie in bed.

You eventually go inside after Blake suggests making breakfast together. Your friends and a few frat guys are ambling around the main floor of the house as you make your way to the kitchen.

As you cook and talk, you find Blake takes every opportunity he can to innocently touch you in some way, unafraid to show you that he likes you. He’s affectionate, unlike Rafe, who stiffened the second you tried to hold his hand last night, who will only touch you right before or during sex.

After eating breakfast with Blake, your friends, and a few of the guys, you finally head upstairs to pack your things and head home.

You round the corner into the hallway and almost collide with another body. You look up to meet Rafe’s blue eyes, his expression sullen.

“Hey,” you say with a smile. “Wow, did you just wake up?”

“No,” he mutters. His lips thin as he steps to the side to walk past you, brushing you off.

You try not to let his moodiness get to you. It’s such a sharp contrast from how Blake treats you. You’re not expecting Rafe to be a sweetheart, but you thought at this point you sort of had a friendship.

You make your way to your room, reminding yourself of how he was the night you met. Rafe is a jerk, unless he’s working on convincing you to sleep with him.

Regardless, the sex is too good. You’ve actually been gaining confidence from hooking up with him. You tell yourself from now on to expect nothing but coldness from him.

Rafe tries to ignore the cloud hanging over his head after you leave the lakehouse. He hates that seeing you with Blake pissed him off so much. He hates that imagining Blake looking down at you the way Rafe did last night makes his blood boil.

A part of him wants to tell Blake you’re still hooking up to prove a point, but if Blake tells him that he did something with you, too, even a kiss, he might just swing at him.

Thankfully, Sam seems like he was too drunk to even remember Rafe asking for the key to the boat. He discreetly returns the key where Sam told him he could find it last night.

Rafe realizes he just needs to fuck another girl. He’s been messing around with you exclusively and that must be what’s been screwing with his mind. He scrolls through his phone and finds the number of a girl he met at a party during orientation week.

The next evening, you’re lying in bed watching a show on your laptop when you start to hear muffled moans. Your brows furrow as you try to make out what you’re hearing.

It’s a girl moaning. And it’s coming through the wall you and Rafe share.

Rafe’s on top of her in his bed, instructing her to be loud, not sure if it’s for his ego or just so you’ll hear. He did everything you taught him, touching her and talking to her how you said he should.

It’s all working and he can tell she’s close and it feels good, so why the fuck is he closing his eyes and imagining it’s you under him?

After she leaves, Rafe gives into the impulse to text you: my bad for the noise lol

You reply: all i can say is you’re welcome.

Rafe: ya you’re kind of a genius

You: i know :)

You try to focus on your tv show. Rafe said you’d keep your arrangement up until you’re both satisfied. He must be satisfied. Maybe the night on the boat was the last time.

You’ll miss it, but whatever. At least it’s ending before your mind has a chance to spiral any further into dangerous territory like it was this past weekend. That man has two settings designated for you: he’s either annoyed or horny. You’re convinced he feels nothing else.

The next day, it’s late afternoon when you get back to your dorm after your classes. As you get closer to your door, you can hear a man yelling. It’s loud. And vicious.

You sigh, wishing they didn’t cheap out on the insulation in this building.

You quickly realize it’s coming from Rafe’s room. Someone’s yelling and Rafe isn’t saying a single word back.

Rafe’s arms are crossed while his father shouts at him. He’s trying to hold it together, telling himself over and over again not to cry.

He got a little carried away with his credit card recently. He picked up the tab for food for his frat brothers quite a few times now. Splurged on beer. Had to pay to tank up his car for the weekend trip.

Apparently that makes him a disappointment who’s not taking school seriously. His father popped by for a surprise visit just to lay into him about his spending.

You quickly put your key in the lock and figure you should just put headphones on when you get in your room.

“Is that what I pay for, Rafe? For you to party? Do you even go to your classes?”

You swallow hard. It must be his dad. You don’t want to pry, but you’re surprised Rafe isn’t fighting back. The quick-tempered man you know always has a retort.

Maybe he hasn’t had as comfortable a life as you thought.

“If you can’t take it seriously-”

“I can,” Rafe finally says, his tone agitated but low. “I am taking it seriously.”

You swing open your door and step into your room, but when you hear his father say “what are you crying for?”, you feel your heart crack.

(part six)

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#hope yall like a big cup of angst 👀 #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x you #rafe x reader #rafe obx #rafe outer banks #obx smut #rafe x y/n #rafe x you #rafe cameron and you #rafe cameron and reader #rafe cameron and y/n #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron fanfiction

[novalizinpeace]

my take for the chapter 3 is probably faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away from what we're gonna get, but since Catnap was made using a literal 7 years old, i like to think in the posibility of the other critters also be made with other children from the kindergarden, and their relation with Catnap.

if you want to see me talking about what's basically 7 ocs i created in less that a day, be my guest

tw: illness and death of children in really sad ways

1-Dogday - Nell Grambell (13 y/o)

yup, you read that right, He's the older brother of Theodore/Catnap, but since he was too old to be manipulated by Playtime Co. He was used to create Dogday just 3 months after arrive to the Playcare, leaving his younger brother suddenly alone (nobody explained to Theodore what happened to his brother, just telling him he was ''sick'').

His personality is the typical protective older brother, specially since they both come from a bad background (abusive parents), Nell was a really caring and loving brother, and that personality is still present in his new body.

2-CraftyCorn - Alba Guzman (15 y/o)

Unlike Nell, Alba was taked by playtime Co when she was 8, but made it till 15 'cause The Doctor realised that she was good to keep younger children under control by making art crafts with them, the girl was really passive and calm, but after reach puberty she started to become hostile to the caretakers, so she was taked to the laboratory were later was used to create CraftyCorn. She also meet Nell and Theodore before this, but the last time Nell saw her was when he was take to the laboratory, and she wasn't exactly alive...

3-Kickinchicken - Callem Jones (12 y/s)

The kid was lucky, since his caretaker (the employer that legally adopt him for the company) was really interesed in take care of him, so he was one of the lucky kid to be taked care a lot, have his hair styled, learn things from outside the playcare (like skating and surfing), and even leave from time to time Playtime Co with them. The employer was really considering taking him from all this madness and make him their irl son, BUT before it could happen they were killed by Huggy Wuggy, and soon after that poor Callem was taked to the laboratory.

4- Hoppy Hopscotch - Nicole Robinson (9 y/o)

She was adopted for a specific reason: as a child with leukemia, Playtime Co. was really interesed in see if their experiments could health such kind of illness, so they stopped all kind of common treatment on Nicole and started a ''Poppy treatment'' on her, but it wasn't working. The poor ill child was a fighter, and even when she was weak she tried to fight each caretaker that tried to inject her the poppy serum, even when knowing she could died, she didn't care 'cause she wasn't feeling well either. After 5 months, Nicole died in her sleep, and her bodies was used to create Hoppy.

5- PickyPiggy - Samina (9 y/o)

Be in the system since she was 1 y/o and taked by Playtime Co. 1 years later, Samina only knew what the company teach her, and she was a really good kid that followed rules, specially the ones make by Bron, her favorite Toy, to the point that she dreamed to become as tall as him. Sadly, her own love end up killing her, since one day she make it to Bron's statue and, thinking in how would the world look like from up there, she climb the statue, but end up falling midterm, ending in a coma after hitting her head in the fall. Since she was already in that state, The Doctor decided to take the oportunnity and use her to create Picky.

6- Bubba Bubbaphant - Charlie (7 y/o)

Intelligent and attentive, Charlie was a truly prodigue that Playtime Co. was proud of get their hands on, the kids was already at the same academic level of the +12 y/o, and The Doctor was excited to use him in the future when his mind developed a lil' more. But the plan had to start early since Charlie end up getting a bad case of pneumonia, and fearing that the child wouldn't make it, he was send to the laboratory to start the work on him.

7- Bobby BearHug - Amara (4 y/o)

The lil toodler was a love to be around, giving hugs and lil' kisses to all the caretakers, this 'cause the kid was also lucky enough to be adopted by a employer that take good care of her since practically birth. But she was also really naive and innocent (of course, she was a baby), so she usually was the hitting bag of a lot of other children that wished to have the love her caretaker give her. One day it goes to far, be that a group of children take her from the lil' kids room and put her in a locker, something that scare Amara 'cause the child was claustrophobic, to the point that before a caretaker could find her, Amara end up suffering a panic attack and dying of asphyxiation. Her caretaker end up resigning after that, and the body was used to create Bobby.

#poppy playtime #smiling critters ARG #poppy playtime chapter 3 #poppy playtime smiling critters #smiling critters #catnap #dogday #hoppy hopscotch #craftycorn #bubba bubbaphant #bobby bearhug #kickinchicken #pickypiggy #ocs #nova say

[underdark-dreams]

Tiefling Bachelors - Tail headcanons [pining + in a relationship]

Some tail thoughts for Rolan, Dammon, & Zevlor [reader is gender neutral, non-Tiefling]

For anyone who doesn't follow already-- @forgeofthenine creates amazing Tief content! Their headcanons for these three are VERY delicious, including some genius tail HCs that I have been rereading all day!🖤

Pining:

Rolan:

When he's extra annoyed or excited by something, the tip of his tail will twitch side-to-side behind him slightly like a cat’s

Turns out the same thing happens when he’s got a crush on someone

He can control it with enough concentration, but it could still give him away if you catch him off guard or heaven forbid touch him in an unexpected way

It’s no secret from Cal and Lia—the three of them teased each other ruthlessly about the littlest flirtations back in Elturel, as teenagers do, so they’re used to picking up on all of each others’ signs

The minute they catch Rolan’s telltale (tell-tail?) move while he’s talking with you, you can bet those two will not let it go until you’ve moved in. Probs not even then honestly

If you get friendly enough with Rolan to have long talks about magic or the Weave, his guard will lower and he’ll let his tail do its thing (within reason)

He lies to himself that it’s just because he finds your conversation stimulating. Really, it’s everything about you

Dammon:

If you’re a non-Tiefling, Dammon might comfort himself with the knowledge that you probably don’t recognize the significance of how his tail moves when you’re near

He’s good at keeping his words to you measured and polite. The way his body reacts around you is a bit more instinctive and hard to control

He’s goddamn touch-starved to be honest, this man is practically married to his hammer and anvil & he’s been living alone for years

Whenever he makes you laugh, he finds his tail curls forward toward you a bit—wishing he could touch or hold you with it

Dammon always tells himself he needs to be a bit more careful when you come around the forge. But somehow it goes out the window every time

His tail will sway gently back and forth when you talk to him, not quite wagging, but definitely actively engaged

A fellow Tiefling would immediately recognize the gesture as interest and flirtation

Zevlor:

Zevlor thought he was a pro at this: controlling the tail movements, the ear twitches, generally suppressing his Infernal tendencies at all times

But it's been so long since someone made him feel like this. Handsome, desirable, everything

The first time you overtly flirt with him, and especially the first time you touch his arm or shoulder, his tail wags behind him

He stiffens immediately, alarmed and taken aback by his own reaction to your touch. Prays you haven’t noticed

If he can smoothly get away with it, he might excuse himself from your presence to try and collect his composure

He’s very conscious of his role as leader/authority figure among the other Tiefling refugees. He’d be mortified if any of them caught him eagerly tail-wagging like a youth after just a casual gesture from you

From that point Zevlor refocuses his control whenever you’re near, making sure to keep part of his brain aware of his posture around you. The way you keep seeking him out and standing close to him during conversation doesn’t make it any easier on this poor man

Relationship:

Rolan:

More than hand-holding, Rolan prefers to hold you with his tail

Let him loop it around your calf when you’re standing beside each other, or rest the curve around the small of your back

He finds it profoundly comforting to keep in contact and touch you that way

Rolan would love if you let him gently bind you with his tail, whether it’s your hands behind your back or one of your legs pulled open for him

He often wraps it around your waist while you’re topping or riding him

Rolan also likes to drag his tail between your legs while you’re going down on him and he can’t reach you with his hands

It turns into teasing almost every time—Rolan trying to see if he can finish you with his tail before you can finish him with your mouth

Rolan’s tail gets super sensitive when he’s close to coming. Gently tug on the tip, or God forbid suck on as much of his length as your mouth can take—Rolan will come hard with a loud whimper

Dammon: 

Finally getting with you is a relief for this man; he was struggling to control his body’s reactions around you anyway

Dammon is very cuddly and touchy with you in general, but he especially loves the freedom to finally touch you with his tail

Naughty man loves to slide it up over the curve of your ass when you’re kissing—even when you’re both standing in his open-air forge where a passerby on the street could glance over and see

He’s super into you, why would he hide it? Unless it makes you uncomfortable in the slightest, of course, in which case he'll do his best to restrain himself

It would turn him on so much if you asked for tailplay in the bedroom

Let him hold you with it, spread you, spank you, help you grind and pleasure yourself with it—anything you want, he’s down bad for

Watching his tail get you worked up super super does it for Dammon, and he will be sure to tell you just how much

Zevlor:

Once you’re together, Zevlor won’t hold back from using his tail to caress you

It’s usually when you’re already kissing or embracing each other. His tail will curl behind your knees, or perhaps wrap once around your waist to gently hold you close

He still keeps the gestures mild, out of habit and out of some lingering concern that it might come on too strong for a non-Tiefling. Zevlor also just tends to be reserved when it comes to PDA in general

When he’s bedding you, Zevlor’s tail may wrap around one of your legs in the heat of the moment—it’s a sign of deep affection and trust, and a bit of possessiveness (good luck getting him to admit to that one though)

Beyond that you will have to ask, beg, and plead to get this man to use his tail actively during sex

Despite his chivalry, Zevlor has been around the block and seen pretty much everything during his Hellrider days. But those were different times: here now, with the person he cares for most in the world, everything feels new all over again

Asking him to slip the tip anywhere inside you will render him speechless for a moment

You’ll have the best luck if you’re already naked on top of him when you ask

If you want to give Zevlor his hardest orgasm in a decade, tug and play with the very base of his tail while he’s inside you. He will practically sob against you and finish in record speed

#spicy #bg3 rolan #bg3 dammon #bg3 zevlor #rolan x reader #dammon x reader #zevlor x reader #tieflings #tief tumblr #bg3 headcanons

[daisys-reality]

PAC.015: Your 18+ love life with your S/O in your DR

This reading focuses on your s*xual relationship and your s*xual dynamic with your s/o in your desired reality once you've established a more or less stable relationship with them (ex. you being together for a longer period of time or perhaps once you're already married) 🔞‼️ Please do not read this if you're underaged. I tried to keep it 'light' in the way I phrased things overall in the reading but the keywords at the end of each reading do have some more explicit words, so please keep that in mind! Also, some piles turned out a bit longer, sorry for that! Let me know how much it resonates!

[-> DR stands for desired reality and is a term in the reality shifting community. S/O stands for significant other and basically talks about your special someone (partner/lover/crush...).]

If you like to read more readings from me, feel free to check out my masterlist ! Also, I don't own any of these beautiful pics, I just edited them a little.

❦ PILE ONE

Your and your s/o’s s*xual energies in this relationship: cobra (fire) & hummingbird (air)

Oh, okay. Your energy pile one is very raw and deep lol. I think you’re very good at controlling your s*xual energy and your instincts. You’re the one who keeps calm and just watches how someone loses themselves in front of you, or perhaps below you. You enjoy that. You like to be in control, or to be the one with the power s*xually. You like leading, teaching and giving your s*xual partner instructions on what to do to please you. You love seeing them behave and obey, it lifts your mood and increases your desire for them. I can imagine you’re the one who innocently teases/arouses them and when they confront you, you say 'i don’t know what you mean?’ with your composed face. Perhaps you even go further and tease them for being horny for no reason lmao. There is really something about watching, so perhaps you like watching your partner please themselves in front of you. Or them having to watch you please yourself and they are not allowed to touch you (or themselves?). 

They love seeing you get ready and making yourself pretty, it makes them so horny. Especially if you put your clothes on slowly in front of them with no care. It’s so seductive to them. I think you knowingly ignoring them turns them on too, they like working hard for your attention and being put into place once in a while. Like I think your s/o it pretty composed and confident in their daily life, probably in a leading position with many responsibilities of something like that… and no one would ever believe they behave like that, it is very contradicting to how they act in their day-to-day life. Perhaps it’s also the first time they were able to fulfill these desires they’ve locked away for so long. Maybe you’re the first person to make them feel that way, comfortable enough to give up control and just follow your lead. 

But this teasing part is more like fun foreplay for you guys (even though I strongly believe your relationship in general has a very similar dynamic), once you teased the shit out of your partner, I see the dynamic shifting slightly. When your partner behaves and pleases you satisfyingly you give yourself to them fully as a reward, you let them go crazy with you…like you love seeing them losing themselves in the pleasure they get with you, losing themselves in you. Damn. You want their mind to be full with just you. There might be some duality about you, your vibe or something physical like an innocent face + mature body - they love it. Also, another thing that turns them on is, when you sometimes are more arrogant or like a know-it-all towards them.

Your DR s/o’s s*xual energy is very …enthusiastic and energetic I guess. Like, they beam with energy when they are around you and they are just super happy. To be honest, like a dog who is happy to see his owner lmao. I guess puppy-like is a good description for them. They can’t get enough of you and they will always be curious about you, your likes/dislikes and about your body. They might love exploring your body, finding all your sweet spots. They might be very creative with you in the way they please you. Every moment with you is worth savoring, life becomes sweet with you. I think they are quite smart as well, and they might be good with dirty talk, they also love learning - especially when you teach them. I think the whole s*xual experience with you feels very nourishing and even rejuvenating for them. I think sometimes they can get a bit too much, pushy or insistent, perhaps bratty - it’s best when you put them back to their place in those moments, maybe even punish them? lol They like edging you too, and exhausting you fully (all night). I feel like seeing you weak and tired after the act turns them on too lmao, they will definitely like taking care of you afterwards as well! Aftercare is big here. Perhaps they are the type to bring you your breakfast to bed the next morning and take care of all your responsibilities for you so that you can rest in bed all day long (aww).

Your DR s/o sees you as that powerful queen (regardless of gender), the full package and they just want to serve you and treat you as the queen/king you are. They are crazy about you and I don’t think that will change regardless of how long you're married or long the relationship lasts. If you had rather unpleasant or even traumatic s*exual experiences, this relationship will be very healing for you - you can finally put the past chapter to an end and breathe a sigh of relief. You will learn and grow a lot in this relationship and become free of any addictions, codependency issues. This is a very promising relationship, lots of potential - opportunity to build something lasting together etc. It is a very close relationship and you both will open up about a lot of things you felt like you could never tell anybody. A close and unique experience for both. I think you both will keep this (s*xual) relationship very secretive, because you guys don’t want to share this with others - it’s too close to your hearts. I see that there is a lot of trust, loyalty and emotional security with you both. ❤️

For some reason I believe that you both might really enjoy roleplay, so the dynamics that come to my mind are the following: teacher + (bratty) student, owner + (eager) pet, master + (obsessed) servant, queen/king + (hopelessly in love) knight 

🔞‼️ Other things I can pick up that are a bit more explicit (- might not be for everyone):

expensive clothes (dressing someone up in pretty things just to undress them later), wine and dine you beforehand (they want you to be relaxed with them and they put great effort into making you feel comfortable with them), sugar daddy/mommy vibes lol, slight bdsm play (handcuffs and other movement restricting items, collar/leash?), edge play, orgasm denial, lots of teasing, you giving them rough handjobs? (- it makes them crazy lol), pet play (we all know who is gonna be the pet lol your s/o), feet & calves (your s/o might be into them, them might perhaps even like licking them or being stepped on by your pretty feet lmao), roughly grabbing skin, aroma/scent play - perhaps even with aphrodisiac or doing it when you’re high or drunk?, setting the mood with the surroundings (music, light etc.), they might like doing it outside (on the beach perhaps), expansive dessous/underwear + stockings, they love your tiddies/chest and your curves, corsets (if you have tiddies you s/o might like the look of it - how they almost spill out idk if that is the right word), you wearing high heels that accentuate your legs is a turn on, they have a long “member” if your s/o is male (iykwim) so.. deep penetration, doing it while standing or from behind, long foreplay, the act is wild and rough sometimes but full of passion (ofc only as long as both like it), times after times for longer periods (ex. the full night) - your s/o has great stamina, super sweet aftercare, very fulfilling s*x for both of you, lots of wetness, during the act you're both very much immersed in each other (you shut everything else out, it’s just you two), lots of love and passion.

❦ PILE TWO

your and your s/o’s s*xual energies in this relationship: bat (air) & elk (earth)

Hello pile two! The first thing that I heard was that you are a distraction (to your s/o) lmao. Your energy is very swift, kinda hard to grasp. Perhaps you’re very hot and cold and your horniness comes out of nowhere. I think you’re very subtle with your s*xual energy and how you express it. You might be the type to just give small hints to your s/o. You might expect your s/o to just get it and act right away. It could also be that you’re the type that gets horny randomly, even by the smallest things and you might prefer to act on it right away because I feel like the s*xual energy can fade away very quickly too. I don’t think you have it really under control, maybe you don’t even want to. But it can also be that you just randomly remember something and it immediately triggers the s*xual energy in you because there is a sense of unpredictability with you. You might like to express your sexuality freely and to let your s*xual energy flow. That’s what you truly desire - being open and vulnerable. The s*x with your s/o itself may even feel spiritual to you, like every time something changes within you - I mean this metaphorical lmao - like a rebirth, very transforming. It seems like you prefer to do it with your s/o at night time or in the early morning while it is still dark. You might not be the type to do it outside or at unknown places. You prefer doing it behind closed doors, especially at places you know (ex. your own bedroom instead of a hotel room) and with dime lights or in complete darkness - just following your insticts and focusing on your other senses (feeling, hearing etc.). It might just be very important to you to be somewhere familiar where you feel comfortable. Also, it feels like your usual self might be quite different than when you’re in a ‘s*xual mood’. So, the act of revealing this side of you might be something very vulnerable to you. You just want to let go and let this hidden side of you shine and you want it to be completely accepted by your s/o. I think those very romantic moments with your s/o or moments in which the emotions are running high turn you on quite a lot. Having an emotional connection with your s*xual partners is something very important for you. And I can already tell that you have a very strong/intense emotional connection with your s/o (and they with you too). Also, I think you might daydream a lot during the day about you s/o and about all your s*xual moments. 

While your s*xual energy is more ‘airy’, swift and delicate even, your s/o’s energy is more earthy, steady and powerful. Their s*xual energy is strongly grounded within them, also very masculine (regardless of gender). In s*xual matters, they are the type to provide and build stability (for you). They also know themselves and their desires very well. It could be that they are already (by that time) very experienced because it seems like they have already established their s*xual identity. I can tell you that this person is super reliable as a friend, a lover and as a partner. If you’re not very experienced, you can definitely trust them with everything. They will take care of everything for you and they will treat you so that you feel super duper comfortable. They are really kind and also very consistent in their ways and with their effort. They’re the type to create a certain routine which I believe also helps you to have a sense of familiarity because you know what you get yourself into. It’s important for your s/o that you both always end up satisfied. As I already mentioned, they know what they like and what they don’t like and they’re the type to communicate this pretty early on. They value respect and that’s why they’re also very keen on respecting you as a person and your boundaries. They want you to be open to them as well. That’s why they will work hard on building a stable foundation for you to be comfortable enough to reveal yourself. 

To be honest, the fact that you’re so hard to grasp makes them crazy - they want to get to know you on deep levels and your swift energy and your unpredictability triggers something in them because they’re not used to it. You’re so different from them, you guys are like opposites. Of course you share similar values but the way you handle and express your sexual energy is almost completely different but in a ‘ying and yang’ way - so you balance each other out. I think you might have had a rough start at the beginning or it might have taken quite some time before you started a relationship with each other. But I assume that the s*xual energy/attraction towards each other was strong from the beginning so this could have created some tensions at first. Remember how I said in the beginning that you’re like a distraction to them? That’s because you keep your s/o obsessed lol. You’re the only thing they have in mind 24/7 - for real! It might sometimes be so intense that it’s almost burdensome to them😂. It might not be very noticeable because they’re good at hiding it but you trust me. :’) 

This is a bit random but… I kinda got the feeling that you’re s/o also had many bad experiences in the past (before you), some experiences might have even been traumatic for them. They might have struggled a lot but they got themselves out of that low but it was a lot of work. That’s why by the time you both get together they are very solid within themselves and very careful. I can tell that they will treat you with a lot of care! They would never want you to experience the shit they have - you’re so precious to them. I think they would even hate themselves later on if they would realize that they mistreated you or gave you bad experiences. But I’m sure this won’t be the case. They might just be very anxious about it from time to time which leads me to another point. It is extremely important that you learn how to be more open with them... or rather communicate more with them. I can see that your s/o learned more or less how to communicate effectively. But pile two, you guys need to work on that, I can feel that this might create some problems in the future because you tend/prefer to be very subtle and you want your s/o to just get you - which they do most of the time because they are very perceptive but that does not mean that you can rely on that 24/7. Your s/o might appear very stable but they are also human and they can get anxious !! - even if they don’t show it. So, I ask you to communicate yourself more clearly to them from time to time and to give your s/o feedback on how they’re doing. You know… you’re s/o can be very hard on themselves because they are perfectionists and their standards and expectations for themselves are quite high! Please remember to praise and reassure them every now and then, remind them that they are doing everything right - it takes the mental pressure away that they feel.

They might be the type to ask you to just lay back and to let them take care of everything (-> “You don’t need to do anything - I will take the lead.”). Regardless of gender, the more masculine energetically in this relationship (which seems to be your s/o) is dominant and strict while the more feminine is submissive but playful. That might be the main dynamic. Again, there are a lot of aspects here that hint that you guys are quite the opposites. One of you might be small and petite and the other quite tall and big/muscular - there could be a big height gap, and there could also be an age gap as one energy seems very young and innocent while the other seems older and very mature but it can also be an ‘appearance thing’ where one just looks very young/innocent and they other one looks significantly older. In addition, their energy feels more realistic and grounded while yours feels more dreamy and almost ethereal (especially to them). 

You’re s/o is a person of action, one of their dominant love languages might be ‘acts of services’ - they might show their feelings and their devotion through that. They might not be the best with expressing their feelings verbally or speaking in a romantic way (they’re more straightforward and blunt), so they will try to make up for this through other things (acts of services, giving gifts and physical affection). But as I already mentioned, words of affirmations might be something that touches them deeply more so than for example receiving gifts etc.

I think you enjoy it when your s/o takes the lead but you're also willing to divide the ‘work’. But you have to communicate this clearly to them because you’re s/o might overdo it sometimes. They are the type to overthink things and to come too quick to conclusions. They think they have to be the responsible one in the relationship, to take care of everything and to have everything under control. It could be that your s/o sometimes puts you on a pedestal and they might put on more responsibilities that they have to - to the point it even seems unrealistic. Uff… please give your s/o a reality check from time to time! It would be helpful if you take the lead yourself sometimes and perhaps plan and initiate things yourself! You’re s/o likes to be the provider type - it comes naturally to them - but relieving them of their responsibilities every now and then would make them feel very appreciated and at ease and they will be very grateful for you in those moments - to the point of feeling emotional or getting teary!

Another potential issue is that you both often want to avoid confrontation and your s/o is the type to internalize problems and struggle with self doubt/self judgment. I get the vibe that your s/o sometimes feels like you’re not really opening up to them because they often don't really know or perhaps understand how you truly feel. I get the feeling that they might think that you try to distract them from problems through s*xual activities (I don’t even think that this is your intention. You’re just very intuitive and able to quickly understand how they feel + you get easily turned because those situation usually get more emotionally intense, and then you just get super turned on and you just wanna please them and help them release the emotions through s*x). Sometimes you're so elusive ("too good to be true") that they fear losing you which might also lead to times where they get quite a bit possessive or jealous!

Again, I have to mention that you make them crazy pile two! I just heard "you're so pretty babe I'm losing my mind" oh gosh… Your connection feels so intense but also kinda messy… like emotionally. The feelings and the attraction is so strong that it’s kinda messing with your heads😭 It seems like there's also a lot of possessiveness and jealousy going on in this dynamic - though it doesn't feel very toxic… the obsession is just mutual so it's ok I guess😂 Their love and desire for you is very intense and they might not be used to this, so sometimes they might wonder if they come off too strong or if they scare you off if they openly express it to you. Things might turn pretty rough actually because the passion is so strong (and they are strong too *wink wink*). In those moments where the desire or the feelings just become overwhelming to them and they ‘lose control’ (especially when you’re sleeping with each other), they might even start feeling guilty afterwards or they might feel like their desires are too much/too dark (?). But I feel like this has to do with them putting you on a pedestal and seeing you as this innocent and super precious person that they don’t want to hurt. I don’t know why but I feel like you like the intensity and the fact they suffer so much internally (i’m laughing so hard rn) … it seems like the thought of it turns you on. Also, your s/o likes to release the build up stress (of their daily life) through s*xual activities. Similar to you, they like to release things and let themselves go completely in those times. But I think they sometimes hold themselves back for your sake or at least at the beginning of the relationships because they assume that that would be the best for you but they don’t really know that you enjoy the roughness and intensity with them too and that you wouldn’t mind if they just follow their desires. Honestly, just openly tell them or make them more crazy until they lose themselves in the pleasure and just do it haha.

🔞‼️ Other things I can pick up on that are a bit more explicit (- might not be for everyone): 

playful bickering/arguing, lots of passion, roughness, one of you being more one the muscular side and the other one being super turned on by those muscles, some past issues may come up and you guys need to learn to find closure, you turning them on out in public and them having to wait until you guys get home to ‘punish’ you, something about the number 9 or perhaps 69 lmao, babygirl/babyboy & daddy/mommy dynamic, them calling you ’my lil’ princess’/‘my precious boy’, height gap and/or age gap, something about hair and it being a turn on (not only scalp hair like hairstyle but also body hair), your s/o enjoys giving you gifts and doing things for you - they are the giver type, they are good at pleasing you, them holding you up or you sitting on their lap and making out, stretching out clothes or ripping them apart, them limiting your speaking ability like covering your mouth or putting fingers in or just making you unable to think clearly because of the intense pleasure😏, pressing on your lower stomach while doing it, them putting their body weight on you for deeper penetration, them holding you in place, roughly grabbing your ass, and holding you down, stubbornness, intensity, possessiveness, jealousy, controlling - them controlling you in a sense so perhaps some type of bdsm, powerplay (mainly with them being the dominant one), feeling guilts and insanity lol - probably them, if you have back dimples they might love them, restriction (on the ‘energetically female’/submissive person), them being rather strict and ‘mean’ during the act,  being each other’s recovery/healing space, you’re 24/7 horny for each other - you guys can’t keep your hands to yourself, pile two you think that your s/o indulges you and that they give you comfort, to you they seem very abundant…like ‘the full package’, you guys have a extremely high sexual compatibility, their love languages are: acts of service (giving) + gifts (giving) + physical touch (giving and receiving) + words of affirmation (receiving) + quality time (receiving), your s/o might have an attractive low voice or they might be more the type to ‘grunt’ than moan, nipple play in both ways (you and them), grabbing someone’s neck while making out, stroking through someone’s hair + caressing each other’s skin and lots of cuddling/snuggling into each other (both sexually but also non sexually), high fertility, one or both of you might have a breeding kink, for the people in this pile where having children is an option or wish: your s/o might think things like ‘you’re the mother/father of my future children’ or ‘you’re the one I want to build a family with’ etc., cum play could be a thing, you pile two might have weird fantasies and your s/o has wild fantasies, your s/o wonders sometimes if it's okay to do certain things, COMMUNICATION is so important!! - you guys need to learn to communicate with each openly about your fantasies/desires and your needs, you might often manipulate them into doing things with you instead of talking about it (💀), you’re s/o secretly loves it when you reassure them of things and when you praise them, you like caring about them emotionally and they like caring/providing for you physically, dependency - they might be emotionally dependent on you and you physically on them lol, you guys are super needy for each other❣️ 

❦ PILE THREE

your and your s/o’s s*xual energies in this relationship: firefly (air) + zebra (fire)

Hello pile three, your guys’ s*xual energy here seems kinda intense but also very elusive. Uff.. ngl I was a bit confused with you reading at first. Your relationship is a bit complicated and I think there is a lot hidden which I’m not allowed to see beyond it if that makes sense… So, bear with me, I will try my best to interpret this.

Your s*xual energy in this relationship here is represented by the firefly which is in the air element. Your energy is radiant, awestriking and perhaps inspiring for anyone who comes in contact with you in that way (especially for your s/o). It’s like you're on a high frequency when you’re in a s*xual mood. You have this pure but also fleeting charm to you. You’re the type that harnesses this energy and I think -if you’re some kind of artist- this energy might even give you major inspiration for your creations. But it can also mean that you’re very creative in bed. It never gets boring with you - you’re very exciting. I think that s*xual activities give you energy and help you when you’re exhausted/burned out or when life just feels dull. It gives you that mental and emotional stimuli. If we look at how your s/o sees you in a s*xual sense, I can sense that they see you as someone pure, precious, and cute even but also very elusive - I just heard "you’re all I can see"… You have a very youthful energy and you exude this aura of innocence and wonder, you’re always curious and kinda quirky - and they love this about you. You might have a good balance of masculine and feminine traits, you could have an androgynous appearance or perhaps it’s just your body language and mannerism because in their eyes you’re not only innocent and cute but also very assertive, daring and active (in bed). They love how curious and open minded you are and that you’re willing to try out so many things and to experiment freely without judging someone. Perhaps they just love that they feel so accepted for who they are and what they desire by you. It’s like you allow them to get to know themselves better and help them accepting all this parts but at the same time there is some distance between you… It feels like it’s mainly coming from you though…. Uhh I just heard "You give me life, you’re my everything and I’m all yours…so why does it seem like you’re distancing yourself more and more from me? What do I have to do to make you mine? Tell me, I beg you… I’m losing my mind." damn… pile three someone is down bad for you here and you let them hang like this? 👀

Well, we’ll get back to that later. Let’s focus first on your s/o. They are kinda eccentric, perhaps even weird? They probably have big or very deep eyes and an alluring gaze - especially when they are in a s*xual mood. They see and notice everything - they gaze at you so very intensely as if they want to ingrain everything into their memory. They have a great imagination and they are also kinda young at heart. So, perhaps they are also a bit child-like with an undying curiosity about literally everything (similar to you) when you get to know them more deeply. Being in their company is a true delight and it opens minds, their magic is contagious… I wanna even say their magic in bed is contagious haha. They are able to make you dream and bring you to faraway lands .. or perhaps to heaven? Your s/o might have a big personality, they are a worldly and well cultured person. They could even dress very well (and sensually). They are someone who needs adventure and art. They want to create art in bed, visuals are quite important to them and they love all kinds of pleasure.  

From what I can see, you perceive them as quite bold and daring, someone who takes risks without much fear, someone who knows how to have fun with life. They might be the one who usually takes the initiative because they always go after what they want and work hard to get it. They are as creative as you but they are very strong in their masculine energy especially in s*xual matters. They are an extremely passionate and sensual lover. They have a nice healthy body and a lot of vitality and stamina😌. They could be spiritual or just very intuitive with how they proceed in s*xual matters. Well, they are for sure very health-conscious or are just quite keen on self care (including working out!). They are very intune with their body and know how to move it correctly. Their dominant love language might be physical touch, they are always very dynamic - for sure it never gets boring because they always have this fresh and exciting energy to them. Everytime you do it, you might see new sides of them that you’ve never seen before. They are just very good at making your love life exciting and unforgettable. I can see that you guys have great chemistry and there is a lot of passion for each other.

You’re s/o is someone who requires constant mental and emotional stimulation because they get quickly bored or rather restless. That’s also why they are easily drawn to exciting or intriguing situations and people - and you have all their attention for sure! You’re s/o is naturally very charming and charismatic, they have a warm and good sense of humor which might show itself even while you're sleeping with each other. They are very secure in their masculinity/femininity, so it’s no problem for them to explore ‘the other side’. They are very good at leading others and I even wanna say they are good at giving instructions as well as they can also be pretty assertive. They are definitely big on body positivity!! (so no worries here pile three ♡). Even though they appreciate beauty, ultimately they choose their partners based on their inner beauty. They are always highly motivated yet very humble and understanding. ... Mhm I get so much information here about how your s/o is as a person with all their "good" qualities instead of s*xual stuff.. I get the feeling that they want me to convince you that you can trust them… perhaps you do not feel very comfortable (yet) with such topics and that’s why your s/o would like to talk more about you guys in a non-s*xual way. So, sorry for the lack of naughty stuff if you were excited for it lmao, I will try to add some information at the end of the reading!

Let’s get back to your s/o because they want to shine lol. They are very mature and always working hard on improving themselves. They don’t give up easily and they would never give up on you! They love to work hard but they also love to play hard. I can sense that even in your eyes they seem very special to you. They have this sun king/queen vibe to them, they are easily the center of attention. Their social skills are no joke, they are good conversationalists and active listeners and they know exactly how to make someone feel special. It seems even you think they are good in bed😏 and they also seem very passionate about the things you care about. I just got this vibe of them getting super jaded, pouty or vain when they feel deprived of your presence. You’re always on their mind. 

You s/o can see that you’re overly generous almost to your detriment at times which leaves you out of balance. It might not be very apparent to others but it is to your s/o. They watch you closely and they often worry about you. They have never seen someone like you - you intrigue them so freaking much. You’re so mysterious to them. In their eyes, you don’t really seem to be the relationship type…you seem like someone who values materialism over relationships. You might in fact actually be quite insecure but you try to conceal this with your facade… like you try to appear eager for power and control, stingy and closed off, as if you’re not generous with your time and money etc. They think you kinda have a wrapped sense of what a relationship should be like. I’m a bit confused here but there seems to be a theme of you sometimes taking advantage of them and enjoying using them financially, emotionally or sexually and that you love dumping your problems on them but never are available when they need a listening ear …and it turns them on? Ehm… I don't know how true this is but they are partly annoyed by this behavior but also love it at the same time? It seems like your s/o kinda likes to suffer… are they a secret masochist? Anyways, there is some manipulation going on in your relationship… Perhaps it’s a thing for you to play mind games in bed😂. Eitherway, I can see that there might be some struggles with balance and boundaries in your (s*xual) relationship. To be honest, there are a lot of hints that you might try out and like activities that are rather extreme or perhaps even ‘taboo’ (ofc only once you’re comfortable enough with each other).

I can see that your relationship is a journey and you will both grow a lot while being together. The thing is .. you're so similar and you often mirror each other. All the issues that come up in your relationship might be issues that you face yourself within you. So you get confronted with the problems you’ve ignored before. It’s a very transformative and perhaps even spiritual connection. You know, the more you accept and allow your partner to be, the more you do so for yourself. It's a process and it’s something you will probably have to learn because I see you specifically being very good at ignoring your problems and letting them build over time. But I can tell you already that the work you'll put into this relationship will be worth it, you both will reach peaceful times where all your stress just fades away, like on cloud nine. Traveling together or settling down somewhere else might be a theme in your relationship!

I don’t know if you believe in soulmates or whatever but I got the feeling that your s/o subconsciously believes that you guys are soulmates of some sort or that you share a strong past/connection with each other. At the time of your relationship, your s/o might really want you to express yourself more and they are thinking a lot about how they could encourage you. Another thing is that your s/o sometimes feels that there is a lack of commitment to the relationship on your part (it could also be the other way around but I believe more so that your s/o has these worries about you). They kinda have the feeling you are blocking them out and are not letting them get closer to your heart… like they feel like you’re showing a facade to them and not your real self. But it seems like your s/o knows how you truly are because they are so perceptive. Perhaps they feel annoyed by the fact that you keep this facade up even though it’s unnecessary - ‘Why don’t you trust me?🙁’.  I’m not sure how to explain it exactly but there seems to be a blockage in your s*xual relationship. So, I assume that it will take a long time until you start doing something s*xual with each other. In the cards I got in this reading, most characters have their eyes closed or lock away/avoid eye contact. The only card where the eyes are open is the main card representing your s/o's s*xual energy and it’s with a deep gaze. I don’t exactly know why but you keep your eyes closed (metaphorically) and it also influences how you perceive your s/o because they also have their eyes closed in your perception of them but the truth is that they have their eyes wide open … you’re just not aware of it. Perhaps you should ask yourself what is it that you’re avoiding or that you don’t want to see? Do you fear intimacy? Maybe this is about you having to learn to face yourself and your issues and to not run away from them. Overall, I would say that it is important to improve the communication and the harmony/power imbalance in this relationship and for you to learn how to be more comfortable with revealing yourself and being closely perceived and accepted by someone you have feelings for. Also, this is really random because I don’t usually add songs to my piles but while I was writing the last part the song ‘GEMINI’ by Ethan Low came on and I feel like it might be important? ...like the lyrics seem kinda fitting, so try checking them out! Oh and on a side note, the color yellow and the month april could hold a special meaning too. I also have some advice for your pile three: ‘Pull through!’ and ‘Not everything always has to go according to a plan. Sometimes it is good when things happen differently - take it as it resonates!

🔞‼️ Other things I can pick up on that are partly more explicit (not for everyone probably and perhaps only once you guys feel more comfortable with each other): 

If you are more the sporty type or have more broad shoulders they find this attractive as well as your upper arms + your legs, when you’re refusing to look their way it gets their gears running lol, also when you act ignorant or detached and when you seem to be in your own world - that turns them on, you stepping on their heart/love🔥, you both playing mind games with each other, when you’re far away from them it makes them super restless and needy, they like admiring you and embracing you (sexually and non sexually), they enjoy rubbing your tummy or caressing your hair, they might like seeing your sleep or watching you while you’re focused on something else, they just adore you, they like everything about your body, they make you feel very secure and protected, they may be good at talking dirty or charming you with their words, one or both of you could be into degrading, manipulating each other into doing things, slowly crossing boundaries (but with mutual consent i guess? I’m not sure about this but it could be like -safely- playing out scenes where you cross each other boundaries if that makes sense…i don’t rly wanna say it but something like ‘r*pe play’ perhaps but idk), they might get to a point where they idolize you and worship you like a god/goddess lmao.. kinda fanatic but you’re like an illuminating light in their life (why are they being like this😂), one or both of you could write poems/songs or make drawings to express you desire for each other because there is so much creative energy, daring and risky s*x, situations where being caught in the act is a possibility, you guys becoming more and more brave, knife play and bondage play, doing it outside/at public places or in different countries, being somehow seen/perceived/heard by other people, unique and sexual clothes and accessories (leather, latex…), sneaky behavior (mainly on your side), videos/filming, ...

you convincing them to try out new ideas is a big turn on for them, you’re super exciting to them, they love how you embody this effortlessness.. you’re like trendsetter or pioneer in their eyes, you being unique and daring with your style is super attractive to them, fast paced s*x and quickies, both of you are always very active (mentally and physically) during the act, domination of each other, lots of toys, perhaps more people involved in the act - maybe something like open relationship or polyamory or threesome etc., provocations here and there, selfishness and arrogance (acted out), lots of passion in this relationship, you both feel this sense of restlessness when you’re not together or when you’re near each other but are unable to act on your desires (like in public), when you’re doing it you’re so immersed in each other and in the pleasure that you kinda lose focus and just act on instincts only, you both can get very impulsive, doing it until burnout is surely a thing here, no planning no direction just following your instincts, disregarding consequences, unpredictability, dirty talk (degrading) probably coming from them because they are so good with words😉, changing positions often, rapid pace, kinda dangerous s*x?,  make up s*x after a fight/argument, confidence (even if fake), aggressive movements, inferiority complex, riling each other up verbally, spanking, grabbing hair or holding someone by their hair, doing it through the backdoor (iykwim), s*exual activities that could be considered taboo or even offensive, them wanting to conquer you, they like it when your chest is revealed, you guys might sometimes have conflicting thoughts in your mind, there could be some dishonesty or trust issues (just emotionally! - there is no sign of cheating here), many temptation, some kind of imbalance- feelings don’t SEEM mutual (even if it is mutual) -> one is obsessed and the other sees them just a casual lover or something, there is a need for improving the communication between you two and there is a bit of baggage to work through (feelings wise), it might sometimes seem like you lead them on and that you’re not honest with them🙃, apathy and detachment is kinda a turn on, strong yearning for each other on different levels (emotionally, physically, mentally…), materialism, imaginary security, humiliation, orga*m delays, resistance (acting), distracting each other from issues with s*xual activities, playing into each other’s fantasies. 

#shifting #shiftblr #pick a card #loassumption #pick a picture #pick a pile #shifting realities #pac reading #desired reality #reality shifter #shifting community #your dr s/o #free tarot reading #18+ readings #18+ content

[crystallilytarot]

MDNI 18 +post

Your future partner's thoughts before and after your first night together. Choose an earring.

Pile 1 - leaf

I think they already have feelings for you. They want to be confident and a little bit dominant too, but they will feel nervous, so maybe things won't be so smooth as they expected to be. They probably planned your night before, bought things or maybe even get a reservation to a hotel or a nice restaurant. But they can be a little cutely awkward at first, because they dreamed about having sex with you, and they almost can't believe that it's finally happening.

After that night, they will feel better, because actually the night was quite good, even with their nervousness. They will feel tired, but also want to do it again, want to do it a lot. Again and again. They will find you even more attractive than before, they will fall in love with your body. And they will already know that they want to marry you one day. Or if you don't want marriage, than just to be with you for a long time. But I think they want to marry you and also have children with you. Their desire for you is even bigger than before. The definition of heart eyes because of you.

Pile 2 - moose

I think they wanted to be with you, way before than you were ready. But they actually care about you, so they will be patient. I think they are already in love with you, maybe you are already in a relationship, so it's not happening very early, not on the first date. They probably fantasized about you a few times. But not really about kinky things, they just want to pleasure you, want you to enjoy the sex. And they are sure that they would be a good match for you in bed. Sometimes they will caress you, hold your hands, very cuddly, but it's not always sexual, they just like to be close to you.

After that night, you both will be very happy. It's like you are connected to each other, not just your bodies, your souls too. You will talk a lot, just cuddling and talking about anything. And they will want to be with you like that forever. They will feel like it's heaven. You are their soulmate, they just want to be with you. You will only talk in the morning maybe, because you will be very tired, probably there will be at least 2 rounds. And they will feel like that was the best orgasm ever in their life.

Pile 3 - palm tree

They will try to impress you, probably there will be a lot of dates, gifts. They really want to be with you, not just sexually, they have plans, they want to be in a relationship with you. They are rather confident and maybe they thought you will be with them a little sooner, but they will wait, if you want to. They are the type, who don't give up, not in a creepy way, but they really want to be with you, and they aren't afraid to show you this. Strong sexual chemistry, sometimes they can't help it, you only touched their hands, and their thoughts will be already dirty.

After that night they will realize that they are really falling for you. The night will be like a dream come true, it will be even better than what they imagined. They will find your body very sexy. I think you will be in control at some point of the night too, and they will find this confident side of you very attractive. They are a confident person and they will be a little scared even, because he will catch feelings, but he isn't sure about your feelings. And they don't want it to be just a little fling, they don't want to loose you. But for some reason, they won't talk about this that night, so they will be a little nervous, but also they will know that you are the best thing that ever happened to them.

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[mountainficss]

i’ve been thinking about a pervybestfriend!wonwoo for a bit. i like the idea of sweet shy wonwoo being a disgusting pervert :)

wonwoo is a very polite boy. even as your friend he’s always doing the most thoughtful things for you. holding the door for you, offering to carry your things for you or lift things for you, walking you to your car or your front door so you don’t walk alone—he does it all! he’s the most considerate guy you’ve ever met. that’s part of the reason why you absolutely love being friends with him. befriending wonwoo was a struggle, his shy nature made him a bit hard to approach at first. but afterwards you were inseparable. any free time you had was always spent with wonwoo. you’ve probably slept at his apartment more than you’ve slept in your own. most free days with him would be spent at his apartment just lounging around or playing games together. spending so much time around you would bring wonwoo joy, but he’d constantly be finding himself flustered around you. he’d notice his mind wandering to dangerous places every second he spent near you.

his eyes would unconsciously glue themselves to your thighs while you game with him on the floor, your shorts being too short to fully cover them. he couldn’t help but imagine groping and fondling them. images of his cock thrusting between your thighs have crossed his mind more than once, and every time he caught himself staring he’d forcefully rip his gaze from your legs with a red face. his stomach would twist in guilt as he tried to bury these dirty thoughts of you.

he’d find himself fantasizing every time you wore his clothes. you’d often steal his t-shirts or hoodies every time you slept over, claiming his clothes were more comfortable than yours. every saturday morning he’d see you exit the bathroom adorned in one of his large hoodies and his imagination would be working. the amount of times he’s envisioned you bouncing on his cock wearing nothing but his hoodie is borderline shameful. he’d imagine how you’d smell like your sweet perfume mixed with his scent, how the smell of him would cling to you like you were his. he really tries to control himself but he just can’t help it. he thinks of you more than he likes to admit.

and what wonwoo doesn’t know is that you know how perverted he is. he thinks he’s good at hiding it, but how he acts around you makes it blatantly obvious he wants you. you notice how red his face gets, how he sometimes stutters and avoids your gaze when you talk to him. you always catch his eyes flitting to your chest when you wear a low-cut shirt, his eyes darting quickly back to your face and adjusting his glasses absentmindedly. you love how wonwoo acts when he’s with you, and how his chivalrous personality is merely an act. you know wonwoo’s sweet, but you also know that this shy baby’s thoughts are even more lewd than he’ll ever care to reveal to you. which is why you decided to dedicate an entire saturday to flustering him! :)

you’d wear your shortest pair of shorts and wonwoo’s biggest hoodie, giving the illusion that you were wearing his hoodie and nothing underneath. you’d find excuses to touch him, clinging onto his arm while he’s in the kitchen and “accidentally” brushing your hand against his thigh while you’re on the couch with him. by this point wonwoo’s buzzing with arousal, the movie playing on his television sounding like muffled background noise to him. he’s hyper focused on your head leaning on his shoulder and your fingers interlaced with his, rubbing small patterns onto his skin. he had no clue why you were being so touchy today, but it was making everything harder for him. he felt his cock throbbing in his sweats, and his body felt on edge being next to you. you glanced up at his face, relishing in the tinge of pink on his cheeks and his deep breaths to attempt to relax. he looked so pretty under the flickering light of the tv. “wonwoo,” you’d murmur, watching him slightly jump at the sound of your voice and try to play it off by clearing his throat. “hm?” he’d hum, his eyes traveling down to yours and darting away out of embarrassment. you’d put both hands on his thigh under the guise of pushing yourself upright, but you both knew your true intentions. “can i sit on your lap?” you’d question innocently, watching his reaction. you’d watch him swallow nervously, his adam’s apple bobbing as he processes your request. “you’ve never sat on my lap before,” he’d sputtered. “oh c’mon,” you’d grumble, tugging at his hand. “you’re my best friend. it’s normal.” and that’s how you found yourself seated on wonwoo’s lap, grabbing his wrists and twisting his arms around your torso and forcing him to hold you closer. his chest was pressed against your back, and you felt his shaky exhales tickle your neck from behind. you felt the hardness of his erection pressing into you, occasionally readjusting just so you can feel him throb beneath you. you snake your arm behind him, tangling your fingers in his hair and slightly gripping it. he’d let out a little gasp feeling you pulling his hair unexpectedly. “you think about some nasty shit, don’t you?” you’d chuckle darkly, feeling wonwoo’s heartbeat pounding against your back. “wh-what?” he stumbled, the feeling of your hand fisting his hair making him dizzy in the best way possible. you could feel him squirming a bit underneath you, his arms still wrapped around your torso. “you’re a pervert.” you’d stated, your nonchalant tone making wonwoo’s stomach drop in shock. “you look at my thighs all the time. and i catch you staring at me when i wear your clothes,” you’d laugh. you release his hair, turning around to straddle wonwoo instead. you throw your arms around his neck and press your heat against his erection, grinding down once just to see him wince. “you like when i wear your clothes, don’t you?” you taunt, a smile tugging at your lips as you study his flushed face. he quickly shook his head no, his glasses slightly falling down his nose at the small side-to-side motion. “it’s not like that,” he denied, scrambling to defend himself. “i’m not a pervert. you’re my friend, i love you,” he rambled, looking at you with a pleading expression. you’d smile reassuringly, one hand moving to his glasses to readjust them, running a finger over the hinges. “don’t lie,” you’d whisper, running the backs of your knuckles against his cheek delicately. his skin was smooth against your hand, the heat from how hard he was blushing warming your fingers. “i think you are.” you’d laugh teasingly, snatching his glasses and rolling off his lap. you’d lean your back against the arm of the couch, throwing your legs over wonwoo’s and slipping his glasses on jovially. “let’s finish this movie,” you chirped, turning your head towards the tv and leaving poor wonwoo dazed and turned on ;(

i <3 shy perverted wonwoo ;(

#seventeen smut #thoughts #seventeen #smut #sub!idol #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo smut #wonwoo #svt smut #seventeen wonwoo #jeon wonu #mountainficss

[mionemymind]

Lost in the Universe (Part 2)

Summary: The aftermath of Y/n being rescued from the alternate universe.

Warnings: Fluff, Kissing, Cursing, Jealousy

A/n: @tynix had requested a part two. And I wanted to post something since I JUST TURNED 23 BABES!! So I guess this is a birthday gift for me?? Hope y'all enjoy the fluff. Also, I love all the Candy Montgomery gifs that I keep seeing :)

Word Count: 1.3k

Masterlist

Part 1

“I appreciate you teaching her how to control her powers, but we cannot have you going through different universes again,” Wanda complained into Y/n’s chest. Today was an off day and the couple decided to spend much-needed quality time together. Y/n slightly chuckled at Wanda’s pouty-ness, ever since they came back to their universe, Wanda had been feeling extra clingy. 

“You worry too much my love. There was no doubt in my mind that you would’ve found me.” Y/n tweaked her words a little as she remembered alternate Wanda’s words. “We’re tethered,” Y/n thought. She kissed her girlfriend’s forehead, continuing to run her fingers through Wanda’s hair. 

“How can I not worry? You try finding me throughout different universes.” Y/n chuckled more much to Wanda’s dismay. The redhead was more than anxious about the whole situation. She tried her best not to be so angry at America for the obvious accident, but not knowing what universe Y/n was in spiraled her to think the worst. 

“Well my love, you’re more powerful than me. So I would have a harder time getting to you.” Wanda rolled her eyes at the compliment but still smiled. “Not only that, I would’ve probably talked to other Wanda’s out there to help me find you.” 

“Speaking of, how was my counterpart? Was it freaky to see me in a different universe?” Y/n hummed for a bit, letting herself get lost at the thought of alternate Wanda. 

“I was really scared at first. You being the Scarlet Witch, I wasn’t sure if alternate Wanda had the same powers as you. Not only that, I begged in my heart that you were good too. I wouldn’t know how to deal with an evil Wanda - wait if she’s evil, she might be emo too - and your emo phase was pretty hot babe.” Wanda swatted Y/n’s chest as Y/n laughed at the obvious joke she said. Intertwining their hands, Y/n rubbed circles in Wanda’s palm, “But seriously…when I first got there she called me dekta like you. I almost thought it was you, however, something inside me could just feel that it wasn’t you.”

“So what happened?” Y/n sighed as she rubbed Wanda’s back. The redhead enjoyed the constant feeling of Y/n’s touch. “She called me out. Told me that I’m not her Y/n. Rather than giving me a hard time for being in her universe, she let me into her house and kind of relieved my anxiety.” 

Wanda smiled at the thought of her counterpart being nice to her girlfriend. Although Wanda could never imagine a world where she would hurt Y/n, she was just extra grateful to know Y/n never landed in that scenario. “Did you like her more than me?” Wanda joked. 

Y/n snorted at Wanda’s lame joke, “Well she did make me hot chocolate.” Wanda rolled her eyes again as she lightly hit Y/n’s chest one more time. “Keep hitting me woman, I’ll make America send me there again.” 

Wanda lifted her head and flashed her red eyes at Y/n. “Don’t you even dare.” Y/n smiled at her girlfriend’s obvious jealousy and gave her a small kiss. “I wouldn’t - plus the only reason I would want to is to help my counterpart get their shit together.” 

“What do you mean?” Y/n kissed Wanda once more before laying her head back onto the pillow. “Alternate Wanda said that alternate Y/n hasn’t confessed her feelings yet, which is annoying because they literally live on a farm together. How platonic can that shit even be?” 

“What if your counterpart was just as scared as you?” Y/n lingered back to the time before she confessed her feelings to Wanda. All the yearning and pent-up feelings were enough to compete with any love-struck idiot. “I can imagine that, but at the same time, I hadn’t bought a farm with you yet and she did.”

“You and this farm.” Wanda kissed Y/n's arm. “Should we get a place of our own?” 

“Where would you like to live?” Wanda thought about it, no particular location was coming to mind. “Something that doesn’t scream American capitalism.” 

“Italy farmlands?” Y/n moved her hand from Wanda’s back up to Wanda’s head, running her fingers through her hair again. “What made you think of that?” 

“I forgot the title, but I remember liking this movie that was located in the Italy farmlands.” Y/n kept racking her brain for the title, nothing came up though. “When you were searching for me, did you ever find alternate me’s?” 

“I found a couple. One was almost like you but two of them were drastically different in style so that helped a lot.” Wanda recalled the moment she almost mistook one of Y/n’s counterparts for her Y/n. But it all came back to that tethered feeling. 

“One of the Y/n’s was actually with their Wanda. It was fun to talk to a different version of myself. She was quick to tell me that I was in the wrong universe and tried to direct me to you.” 

“What if she thought you were there to steal the other version of me?” Y/n joked once more. “I wouldn’t want a different version of you. You’re it for me dekta.” Wanda got up once more and kissed Y/n slowly. “Don’t ever forget that.” 

“Never.” 

Alternate Universe

“Who’s the slut?” Wanda barely entered her house before the accusations were thrown at her by Y/n. “Excuse me?” Wanda had returned from the edge of their farm where counterpart Y/n was rescued from. 

“You heard me. Who. Is. The. Slut.” Y/n stood with her arms crossed, her eyes motioned to the two cups at the coffee table. Wanda rolled her eyes with a devilish smile, “You.” 

Making Y/n work for more answers, Wanda walked away to the kitchen. “Very funny Wanda,” Y/n mocked. “I wasn’t being funny,” Wanda batted her eyes innocently which annoyed Y/n even further. “Who the fuck was it?” Y/n was irritated beyond belief. She had come home from a mission hoping to see her crush just to find out that some bitch came over and drank her supply of hot chocolate with “her girl”. 

“Well, she’s this very hot girl,” Wanda said as she played dumb, she walked slowly to Y/n and continued, “She’s very charming and kind too - actually, she helped me with the farm today.” This angered Y/n beyond belief. Who the fuck comes to her home and manages to steal her girl within hours? She had a five-year plan that’s been in motion since the day she met Wanda. 

With one last step, Wanda was in Y/n’s space, wrapping her arms around her neck and Y/n held her hips. “Do you like her?” Wanda thought about it for a second, before saying, “Something like that.” Wanda enjoyed the feeling of messing with Y/n, especially with something so harmless. 

However, Y/n could not take it anymore. Frustrated, Y/n stepped out of Wanda’s grasp. “Well, I hope you live happily ever after,” Y/n said sarcastically. Before she could walk any further, Wanda grabbed her hand and pulled Y/n back into her arms. She rolled her eyes, “You are so oblivious.” 

Not wanting to wait any further, Wanda confidently kissed Y/n, feeling the tether that connected them ignite with a new fire, a new love. Y/n reacted swiftly as Wanda jumped and wrapped her legs around Y/n’s waist. “More,” Y/n begged in her head, her knees were growing weak, but she needed more. 

Wanda abruptly cut the kiss off, pushing Y/n slightly back as she moved forward, eager for more. “Will you finally admit that you’re in love with me?” Y/n grinned as she kissed Wanda’s cheek, “I had a plan.” 

“Oh yeah? It took somebody coming over to finally rile you up.” 

“Speaking of, who the fuck was it?” Wanda laughed as Y/n sternly asked. 

“You’ll never guess.”

Taglist: @halobaby  @arelyitsherec8 @blackxwidowsxwife @cristin-rjd @madamevirgo @trikruismybitch @paradiselost916 @mmmmokdok @morbid-gaymer @dailyavengering @itsnottilly @helloalycia @randomshyperson @tomy5girls @daenerys713 @ensorcellme @lezzzbehonesthere @imagine-reblog

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@imapotatao @iliketozoneout @maximoffbrossupremacy​@olsensnpm​ @psychadelichues​ @whitelotus00 @taliiiaasteria @tynix @autorasexy @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @hiiraya

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #fluff #wanda maximoff fluff #marvel #lost in the universe

[megistusdiary]

𝙢𝙮 𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙣 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙨 + 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙨

𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: 𝘥𝘦𝘩𝘺𝘢, 𝘺𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘯, 𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘰, 𝘻𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘪, 𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘢, 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘺, & 𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘯𝘨

i was bored and thinking about some of my faves...so i put together a list of my favorite kinks and sorted my faves into them <3

this is quite long, a bit of a doozy, and very self-indulgent

i am also open to discussion or any thoughts on these or other things...teehee

warnings: 18+ content (mdni), dom and switch characters only, no implied reader gender!

mentions of: asphyxiation, size/strength kink, bondage, praise, degradation, marking, breeding kink

𝘢𝘴𝘱𝘩𝘺𝘹𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯

giving

arlecchino, yelan, wriothesley, rosaria

i think arlecchino likes to have complete obedience. but, she also just loves the feeling of her hand on your throat, feeling every little sound through the vibrations, every swallow and gulp. and, of course, all the trust you put into her when you let her grip your throat.

yelan...especially with leashes and collars. she's wrapping it tighter around her fist and yanking. hard.

wriothesley's got big, beautiful hands perfect for your neck. he's also one of the ones who really appreciates how much you trust him with this.

rosaria would probably like the feeling of power ngl. her claws leave little indents or scratches in your skin, unless she is merciful and removes them beforehand.

recieving

wriothesley, zhongli

sorry, i'm on my switch zhongli/wriothesley agenda here guys.

wrio probably loves being controlled just as much as controlling so wrap your hands around his neck and he is gone

zhongli would probably worry too much about hurting you to go as far as putting his hand on your neck...but he would love it if you did it to him (if you really did hurt him, he's an archon, and he will just move you)

𝘴𝘪𝘻𝘦/𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘩 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘬

zhongli, wriothesley, dehya, arlecchino

dragon zhongli loves feeling big compared to you, i think.

wriothesley is huge, as we all know. he would love to just drape himself over you, completely covering you and pressing you down with his weight.

dehya's a merc who wields a claymore constantly. i just KNOW she's buff and has abs...idc what the in-game model says, they lie!! and she loves to use her strength to her advantage

arlecchino is a harbinger, and was ready to take down an archon, so i just know she's strong

𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘨𝘦

giving

yelan, ningguang, zhongli, wriothesley

once again...yelan with leashes and collars

ningguang i could see being really into shibari and tying you up super pretty like a little gift for her on her bed/desk

zhongli would also probably be into really intricate bondage on you, makes his dragon brain think of you like some treasure for his hoarde

wrio and handcuffs...come on

receiving

wriothesley, dehya

wrio and handcuffs...it goes both ways

dehya gives me switch vibes, too. she would LOVE it if you tied her hands down while you took control

𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦 vs 𝘥𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯

likes to give praise

arlecchino, zhongli, wriothesley, dehya, ningguang

arlecchino 100% treats you so well...i know they say she's crazy, but she's only crazy because she would do anything for her own reasons...and if you are important to her, she would do anything for you!!! (i'm delusional)

zhongli definitely likes to give praise...you're just so sweet to him, how could he not?

wrio seems like the type to praise you often. he deals with horrible people and criminals all day, and it gets so exhausting being so tough all the time

dehya likes to praise, but also be teasing about it. she likes it when you get embarrassed over her being sweet on you

when you behave, ningguang will shower you with gifts and praise for being such a good partner

likes to recieve praise

wriothesley, zhongli, dehya

just call wriothesley a good boy...i know he likes it

zhongli was definitely used to all the praise he received for years as an archon, and even now, people talk him up. they respect him, obviously. but you're the one he seeks for respect from the most. give it to him, and he will melt.

i just think dehya likes to be told how much you love her. tell her every little thing you love about her.

degrader

rosaria, yelan, ningguang

oh, i just know rosaria's calling you a bunch of names, saying filthy stuff while she has you doing exactly what she wants. she knows you love it, and it gives her an outlet to release her stress and frustration. she might be so so mean, but you're guaranteed to be a fucked out mess at the end

yelan just wants to see you break before her very eyes. the sky is the limit, and she will push past it into space just to have you all embarrassed and falling over yourself to please her

remember how i said she likes praise when you're good? well when you're bad, ningguang pulls out all the stops. no gifts, no nice words, no nice treatment; that's only for when you behave appropriately. when you're naughty, she's probably taking you right over her desk, and all of her degrading words are said so loudly everyone can hear it and she loves it

degradee

wriothesley

i know wrio is all alone here, but i just think he's that type of switch!! he would love it if you hold him down (even if you're much smaller/weaker than him) and just call him filthy names. bonus points if you put a 'my' before anything you say...

𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨

giving

rosaria, yelan, wriothesley, zhongli, arlecchino, ningguang, dehya

rosaria likes leaving lipstick marks, scratches, hickies, bruises, you name it. she loves seeing them on you the next day. she wants everyone to see, but nobody should dare ask any questions~!

yelan leaves lipstick marks all over you...she loves leaving hickies all over your neck and shoulders too. you're all hers.

wriothesley is a big guy, unless he's treating you like glass, he's probably gonna leave some bruises. once you tell him you like it though...it's all fair game. definitely a biter too!!

as we know, zhongli and his dragon thoughts...you are his, just as he is yours, but he just can't help the thoughts of biting into your shoulder, leaving deep marks that you see every morning when getting dressed, and every evening before bed.

arlecchino is definitely strong...i think she's hiding some muscles under her fancy coat. she holds you down so firmly, she's gonna leave some bruises. she gets busy with leaving hickies everywhere, but strategically placed ever so slightly below your shirt collar or waistband..

while ningguang prefers her skin to be completely and perfectly unblemished, you're not leaving without some marks on you. she likes leaving them in places nobody can see, but she's all too aware of exactly every spot she left hickies...

dehya just loves seeing her marks all over you. she'll leave hickies anywhere you let her: neck, shoulders, chest, thighs, you name it. and, yes, she wants to see them. she wants everyone to see them and have no doubt in their minds who was responsible

receiving

wriothesley, zhongli, yelan, dehya

wriothesley wants you to leave hickies on his neck, purposefully having you put them where everyone can see! also scratch down his back. he's already got scars, but these ones are special to him. you'll catch him admiring them in the mirror

zhongli likes it when you mark him right back. you are his, but he's yours too, so please bite him back!! his fingers subconsciously rest over your bite...even if it doesn't last as long as the one he leaves on you...you'll just have to keep remarking him! oh, and yes, he also wants you to scratch your nails into his back

i would venture to assume that while yelan loves marking you up, she wants you to do the same. she has a claim on you, so you better fight to show her your claim on her. if she ever acts annoyed by hickies you leave, she's secretly so enamored by how much you want everyone to know she's yours

dehya wants your marks on her, duh. she's got scars, sure, and they carry stories. she wants your marks so she can carry you with her everywhere.

𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘬

zhongli, wriothesley, arlecchino

for the final time i will repeat it: dragon zhongli. it's in his primal instincts to fill you up. while he has matured much since his youth, he still holds some of those innate desires. you just awaken them in him...he loves watching his essence drip from you before pushing it back in. almost like another form of marking for him.

for wriothesley, it's all about the intimacy between you two. he likes mumbling to you about filling you up with him. he wants you pressed as close to him as possible. it's just how you're full of him, dripping with him, you know?

arlecchino runs an orphanage, she's constantly around kids. she's literally called father all day. she raises kids, and if she could give you some of your own, well...regardless of whether she can fill you up with her essence or not, she likes to talk you through it as if she is. she'll certainly fuck you like that's the goal.

well...if you made it this far into my dump of thoughts, let me know of yours in my askbox xoxoxo

i need more people to discuss with :(((

#genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #zhongli smut #yelan smut #rosaria smut #ningguang smut #arlecchino smut #wriothesley smut #arlecchino x reader #wriothesley x reader #zhongli x reader #rosaria x reader #ningguang x reader #dehya smut #dehya x reader #✎─𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 ❛ ༉‧₊˚