#Just toxic old men sucking the life out of you

[rahabs]

Holy shit! Doom spiral.

#Brain goes brrr #Brain freaks out about being left behind and left alone #Brain freaks out over being unemployed but freaks out more at the idea of going back into private practice #I barely survived that I can't go back #But I can't seem to get a job anywhere else either #So I get to watch everyone else do well and have careers they like #That give them freedom to have a life #Meanwhile my only viable career path seems to be FUCKING private practice law and that made me want to kms last time #No free time no time off just work work work and lots of deadlines no vacation no space no nothing #Just toxic old men sucking the life out of you #Brain freaks out about not being Normal #Man why is my 'oh shit! I can't have normal relationships!' thing happening at almost 30 #Never bothered me that I wasn't attracted to people before but Now. #Had enough always being the one left behind on the side

[stellar-constellations]

Star Patient: Chapter 4 (ONGOING SLOW BURN SERIES)

WARNING: This series will include; possible inaccurate medical procedures and medical setting, gore, toxic relationships that should NOT be replicated in real life, murder, yanderes, cursing, suicide mentions, implications of misandry (male misogyny), and possibly more.

Inaccurate canon-timeline (this is before Ashley and Andrew murdered their parents).

Reader has a small fear of adult men/rape and has a history of suicide attempts.

Incest is not Wincest.

Amnesiac! Obsessive! Patient! Andrew Graves x Yandere! Nurse! Reader:

Wordcount: 11,018 words

Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, current chapter, Chapter 5, Chapter 6 (in the works)

        "Andy."

        "Hey Andy, wake up..."

        "Andrew."

        "Andrew, wake up!" 

        Andrew shot awake, before letting out a hiss, clutching his head as it pounded terribly. He cradled his head, before turning his attention to his bedside, where Ashley stood. 

        "What are you doing here?" Andrew questioned, still holding his head. "You manage to worm your way in here that quickly after getting banned?" 

        "Hospital security sucks." She hummed. "That, or they just hire any idiot off the street."

        "Maybe you can get a job here." Andrew commented sarcastically, earning a half-hearted glare from his sister. "But you still didn't answer my question. Why are you here?" 

        "Well, how are you healing? Are we ready to get out of here?" Ashley questioned, sitting down on his bedside, the uneven distribution of weight on his bed causing his injured legs to shift, making him wince. 

        "I don't know..." he hissed between his teeth as pain shot through his legs and head. "I think it'd be best for me to stay here until I can walk again. We have no where to go when I heal up, and the nurse said I'd have to be bedridden for a few weeks to make sure my legs heal and get strong again." He spoke. "I bet there's probably going to have to be physical therapy too for my legs, so I can walk and crap." 

        "Ugh... healing broken bones takes too long. I feel like a kid watching their grandpa die." She groaned, physically deflating. 

        "What's the rush?" Andrew questioned. "We're out of our old city, and it's not like anyone's following us anymore." 

        Ashley had a look on her face, a flash of hesitancy appeared on her face, gaining Andrew's immediate interest. "I just... I had a dream last night, from the demon, and..." she paused, looking away as she thought what to say.

        "And...? And what?" Andrew questioned, prompting for her to go on.

        "Ah, never mind." She huffed, a little frustrated. "It's not something you can help with, being bedridden and all." 

        "Are you sure?" Andrew questioned, seeming concerned. "You can tell me—" 

        "Don't worry about it, Andy!" Ashley smiled, plastering on a fake smile. "It's nothing too big. So, how are the nurses and doctors treating you?" 

        "Good..." Andrew muttered. 

        He was concerned about Ashley's strange behavior, but he knew that if she didn't want to talk, she sure as hell won't. 

        "They're all fine... Some of the nurses and doctors here are pretty weird, but the one nurse that takes care of me seems pretty nice." Andrew explained. "but, she works in the pediatric branch so I don't see her much." Andrew quickly added, hoping that his lack of time and attention to the nurse would save him from another argument between the siblings.

        "A nurse? Is she pretty?" Ashley questioned, keeping up her innocent smile.

        Andrew knew this trap very well. He opted to look away from her eyes, staring out the window at the daylight outside.

        "No..." he lied. "I wouldn't say that."

        "Really? Even with her pretty (e/c) eyes and (h/c) hair?" Ashley questioned.

        When did Ashley meet (Y/N)? Ashley had never been in the hospital during the night, so there's no way she met her inside the hospital.

        "How did you know what she looked like? Did you meet (Y/N)?" Andrew questioned, curious as he turned his gaze back at Ashley.

        "I knew it..." Ashley muttered, a distasteful expression on her face. 

        "What?" Andrew questioned, confused.

        "Don't worry about it." Ashley spoke, standing up from the bed's end, the small movement causing Andrew's legs to hurt a bit. "I'm gonna go grab food. I didn't get any on the way here. I'll see you later, Andrew." Ashley smiled.

        Before Andrew could open his mouth, Ashley walked out of his room, exploring the hospital as she avoided the nurses and security guards who could recognize her. She was able to snatch a scalpel lying in one of the empty doctor offices while a nurse was cleaning the exam table, headphones in her ears as she blasted music. Quite unprofessional really, but it helped Ashley get a weapon that was actually useful rather than an empty handgun. 

        She shoved it in her pocket and waited around the hospital for hours, changing her hiding spot every now and then. She made sure to stay in the pediatric branch, the branch Andrew said that pretty little nurse worked in. In one of her hiding spots, two little boys were rummaging around before they discovered her.

        The two had been looking around for their parents after escaping their hospital rooms, Ashley figured due to them calling out “Mom! Dad!” in the hallways. They got to her hiding spot and opened the white curtain she was hiding behind, looking to see if their parents were behind there (kid logic, it makes no sense).

        Before the two could scream, Ashley quickly covered their mouths with her hands.

        “Don’t be brats now, stay quiet.” She hissed.

        They looked at each other, then her, before nodding. Ashley looked hesitant to let them go, but she didn’t want to be discovered, so she moved her hands from their mouths, wiping her hands on her shirt.

        “Are you a ghost?” one of the kids whispered.

        “No.” She answered, her expression a mix between boredom and displeasure.

        “Are you a nurse?” the other questioned. 

        “No.” Ashley scoffed, her tone almost sounding offended that they had the audacity to say that. “Like I’d work with kids."

        “So, who are you? What are you doing here?” one of the blond boys questioned.

        “I’m playing hide and seek with one of my friends.” She lied. “Leave, you’re gonna give away my hiding spot.” She huffed, grabbing the curtain and closing it to shield her from view.

        Before the kids could ask to play too (having already forgotten their parents), they heard footsteps, followed by a voice.

        “What are you two doing?” a female questioned, her shadow being seen through the curtain. 

        Both of the boys jumped, letting out squeals as they turned to look at her. Ashley grabbed the scalpel she stole out of her pocket, holding it tightly in her hand. Whether it was the she was looking for or not, she’d kill her if she gets discovered.

        “N-nothing! Just… playing!” one of the boys spoke nervously.

        Good… Ashley thought, smirking. 

        “I’m Tom, that’s Jerry.” One introduced themselves.

        “Like the cartoon?” the nurse questioned.

        Funny. Ashley thought sarcastically, rolling her eyes at the joke.

        “Um… yes?” one of them spoke, hesitant in their answer.

        “Well, it sure matches you both, since you sneaked out of your rooms.” The nurse commented. “Who are you talking to?” she questioned.

        Ashley’s grip on the scalpel’s handle tightened, wiggling her shoulders to loosen up a bit in case the nurse got too curious, getting ready to kill her.

        “Come along now.” The nurse spoke.

        Ashley watched the two small shadows walk away from her hiding spot. The nurse stayed for a second, keeping her attention on the curtain, before she guided the two boys away from her. Ashley peeked her head out of the curtain, seeing a nurse with two little boys walking away. The nurse had (h/c) hair, but Ashley couldn’t see the color of her eyes.

        Damn. Ashley thought. I think that was just my target…

        She couldn’t be certain per se, but it was certainly the best description so far. 

        Well, it’s not the end of the world. In fact, it’s probably for the best. If she killed the girl in this hospital, not only could she get medical assistance from others in the hospital if something goes wrong, but it’d be a pain in the ass to hide the body somewhere here too (not to mention the security cameras). If someone died in the hospital, they’d check the security cameras and find Ashley, then Andrew would be in trouble too since Ashley walked in his room and he was left unharmed. 

        If she can’t kill her in the hospital, she’d just kill her at home. She can just hitch a ride in (Y/N)’s car, it’s really not that hard. Ashley can just follow the girl out of the hospital and either threaten her with the empty gun (not like the nurse would know) or she can just unlock her car depending on her car’s model.

        Ashley made sure to follow behind (Y/N) for the rest of the night. Luckily, she didn’t have to wait too long. After rushing out of the staff room, she ran to the elevators. Ashley took the chance to rush down the hallway and slide down the hospital staircase railing, reaching the elevator’s lobby. She followed (Y/N) out of the hospital lobby, following her to her car. 

        (Y/N) unlocked the car and hopped in the driver’s seat, Ashley timing opening and closing the door from her the back passenger side on her right. (Y/N) buckled her seatbelt, turning up the radio to a random jazz station this late at night and sitting in her car, thinking in silence.

        (Y/N) seemed to be muttering to herself, this combined with the radio on allowed Ashley to situate herself onto the car floor, away from (Y/N)’s vision. Maybe if (Y/N) wasn’t so upset, or maybe if she drove in silence without the auditory distraction, she would’ve noticed Ashley behind her; but she didn’t.

        Ashley decided not to kill (Y/N) at the moment. If (Y/N) died, they’d crash and Ashley could potentially die or be hospitalized; which would give her a one-way ticket to jail after they examine (Y/N)’s body and realized she didn’t die from the crash.

        (Y/N) kept muttering as she drove, seemingly annoyed. Ashley was a bit curious of what she was so upset about (Penelope’s potential crush for Andrew, she was upset about) but Ashley stayed quiet; it would be pretty stupid to say “hey, what are you muttering about?” when you snuck into your victim’s car to kill them. 

        The drive wasn’t too long, but to Ashley it felt like an entirety. When the car stopped, (Y/N) turned off the radio and stayed in the car for a few minutes, her hands gripping the steering wheel as she stared into space absentmindedly. She finally let out a sigh, then unlocked her car and hopped out. (Y/N) locked the car and walked to her apartment door on the first floor outside, opening the door and shutting it behind her. 

        Ashley undid the car door lock on the inside, popping up the lock button and carefully exiting the car (after a small heart attack from the inner lights of the car turning on once she opened the door). She made sure there were no people in the parking lot, then she shut the car door behind her and ran up to (Y/N)’s apartment. 

        Ashley walked up to the door, carefully trying the door handle to see if it was unlocked. It was.

        This is almost pathetic how easy it is…

        Either the work day tired her out, or she really has no common sense or street smarts.

        Ashley slinked into the apartment, the house pitch black. (Y/N) didn’t even bother trying to light up the house, now this was starting to get almost sad.

        Ashley crept carefully through the hallway, using her hands to guide her through the dark. Ashley made it to an opening that led into the living room, the only source of light being the window that showed the sun starting to rise.

        (Y/N) was on her back as she laid on her couch, staring up at the ceiling silently, no thoughts seeming to go through her mind.

        Okay, now this is depressing. Very depressing. Ashley almost felt a little sorry taking her life; or, what was left of it really, which wasn’t much it seemed.  

        Ashley carefully walked past the depressed nurse, finding her kitchen. Ashley decided she didn’t want the scalpel anymore and she traded it for a long kitchen knife instead, 8 inches long with a sharp, pointy blade. 

        She held the knife as she explored more of the house, finding (Y/N)’s room. The room was probably the most decorated of the house, with small plotted pants in the window (surprisingly alive, a comparison to their soon-to-be-dead owner). Her room wasn’t decorated much, having a dresser, a closet, a bookshelf of books, a bed, and a desk. Her walls were pretty plain, and she barely had anything on her dresser to hold other than a multimedia center on it.

        Even her bedding was a plain grey, but there were colorful soft plushies that covered the bed to brighten up the room.

        Ashley’s unsure if that’s childish or even more pathetic, needing plushies to replace humans? That’s just depressing.

        Ashley was starting to doubt if it was even worth killing this woman, her life is already pathetic enough as it is. Ashley even contemplated if someone would even miss her. For now, Ashley hid behind the bedroom door and waited for (Y/N) to walk in… whenever she decides to stop sulking on the couch.         .         .

        (Y/N) laid on her couch, staring at the ceiling pathetically. She couldn’t be bothered to think, or even recall her day. Days and week just all just seemed to blur into one now. If one of her patients told her this is how they felt in life, she’d be considered and talk with Doctor Ryan about scheduling an appointment with a therapist; but (Y/N) had been living like this since she was a child. It doesn’t affect her as much as it did when she was a child.

        Being alone doesn’t hurt anymore.

        I need to get up and shower… (Y/N) thought. 

        She turned on her side, staring at her reflection in her TV. She looked pathetic curled up on the couch like that. 

        She wanted to get up and get ready for deal, get rid of all the germs and hazardous matter that was stuck on her clothes and skin, but walking to the bathroom just seemed like a challenge. 

        She groaned, pausing a few seconds, before getting up from her couch and sluggishly walking to her room.

        I just need to shower, eat a meal, then sleep. I should be feeling better tomorrow. She thought, telling herself the same lie she’s told herself for years. 

        She walked down her hallway, a plain hallway. It was nothing but bare wall, just about as empty as she felt here alone. She had no paintings to put up (and deciding what she’d hang up would be too much of a struggle). She didn’t want to hang up any of her awards or accomplishments, they held no meaning if her parents couldn’t see the victory or praise her for it. She had no family pictures, and even if she did, she wouldn’t have felt pride about the woman that would stand in the frame—not herself or her mother.

        She let out a soft sigh, maybe she should get a pet? Sleeping in a bed covered with stuffed animals doesn't really make loneliness any better, just makes sleep more comfortable. Pets are great for depression too! But it'd be so bothersome trying to choose one, yet alone have time for it... maybe she could just get her a reptile, something that can live inside of a habitat and won't need much care; be independent and uncaring to touch, unlike her own needs.

        She opened her bedroom door, flicking on the light switch. She stepped inside, rummaging through her drawers for a comfortable set of pajamas. Ashley stood in the corner, watching (Y/N) from behind the open bedroom door, before she decided to take her chance. 

        She carefully crept behind (Y/N), a kitchen knife in hand, one she stole from (Y/N)'s kitchen since Andrew wasted all the bullets in her gun when he shot that hitman in the park. She was a little nervous, it’d be her first kill without Andrew or the help of her demon friend.

        As much as she’d like to give (Y/N)’s soul to the demon, this felt more like a personal kill. Surely the demon wouldn’t mind too much if Ashley gave them a dead body instead of a living person.

        Ashley raised her knife in the air, planning to hit (Y/N)’s neck. She’d rather make this quick, they’re in an apartment complex so there’s neighbors around; she’d rather not have anyone hear what’s going on.

        Before Ashley could plunge the knife down, (Y/N) turned around, her clothes in hand as she looked at Ashley. Her eyes widened, surprised, before it trailed to the silver blade in her hands.

        “…Hey?” Ashley smiled, feigning an amused smile to hide the nervousness she felt in committing this act alone for the first time.

        “Are you… trying to kill me with my own kitchen knife?” (Y/N) questioned, recognizing the blade almost immediately.

        She even looked a bit annoyed that Ashley had the audacity to kill her with her own knife, her own money and cooking utensil being used against her. That’s indeed a bit frustrating once you push away that fear, recognizing you’re about to die.

        “Uh, yeah?” Ashley confirmed. “Are you gonna fight, or is this gonna be—“ 

        (Y/N) quickly grabbed her bottle of perfume before Ashley could finish her sentence, spraying Ashley in the eyes. 

        Yeah, not easy, it seemed.

        “Fuck!” Ashley hissed, squeezing her eyes shut as she swung her knife rapidly in the air. 

        (Y/N) was trapped between Ashley and the dresser, trying to avoid the knife before it slashed her forearm. (Y/N) took the chance, using her dresser for leverage as she placed her foot on the dresser for a boost, smashing her shoulder into Ashley’s chest, pushing her away. 

        Ashley stumbled on the ground, the knife laying next to her as her eyes stung from the potent citrusy perfume. (Y/N) rushed past Ashley, but Ashley heard her steps and reached out. With luck, she successfully grabbed (Y/N)’s leg and tripped her, resorting in her falling right next to Ashley. 

        “Fucking bitch.” Ashley hissed venomously, feeling for her knife through her blurred vision.

        She felt the cold blade, reaching a bit lower and grabbing the handle, keeping a strong hold of it. She kept ahold of (Y/N)’s leg as she stabbed her calf, hitting bone. 

        A terrible sharp and tingling sensation shot through (Y/N)’s leg, seeing white for a second as the pain caught up. (Y/N) let out a gasp, verging on a scream, before Ashley raised the knife once more, plunging it in a spot near the  first wound.

        (Y/N) reached back and kicked Ashley in the face a few times, resulting in Ashley letting go of (Y/N)’s foot. Ashley groaned, standing up from the ground as (Y/N) clutched her leg, knowing it wouldn’t be wise to try and stand up in case of any tearing or excessive bleeding. It’s not like she could run far now.

        Ashley stood over her, tears in her eyes as she did her best to see through them and fight the stinging. They both glared at each other, needing no words to show their distaste in one another.

        “I wouldn’t have to do this if you would’ve just stayed away from Andrew.” Ashley spoke, glaring down at her.

        “Not my fault he prefers me. Maybe if you weren’t so obsessive and insecure he could somewhat tolerate your sorry ass.” (Y/N) retorted, a pained smile on her face to piss Ashley off.

        “You’re one to talk.” She chuckled. “Must be real nice to come home alone, pathetically lounging around lazily.”

        “I’m lazy because of hard work. What do you do for a living other than blowing heads and giving it?” (Y/N) chuckled at her vulgar comment (one with lack of evidence, but it wasn't supposed to be a fact), a smile on her face as she observed Ashley. “Doesn’t take much to use that mouth of yours, considering how big it is from all that big shit you talk.” 

        If Ashley wasn’t mad now, she was absolutely livid now at (Y/N)’s insult. She bent down and grabbed a fistful of (Y/N)’s hair, grabbing a fistful of it as she dragged (Y/N) up. (Y/N) stood on her one leg, keeping any weight off her injured one as Ashley glared at her.

        “I can’t wait to kill you. I’ll even bring your head to Andrew so he could see how pathetic you look with your eyes rolled back and tongue hanging out. Hell, I think I’ll cut that tongue out after I’m done with you, that way you can’t bother the devil with it.” She hissed. 

        “You gonna eat it after? Have your own tongue-action with me since you’re so jealous?” (Y/N) chuckled. “Or would you rather that with your own brother? That’s pretty disgusting, if you ask me. Mommy and daddy didn’t give you enough attention so you had to resort to your own brother.”

        Yes, because (Y/N) definitely had a healthy relationship with her parents to say that...

        “I would never eat you. You’re too salty, and that’s not just your attitude too.” Ashley smirked. “After I cut your tongue out and take your head to Andrew, I’ll give your soul to that demon for some vision, then I’ll dump your body in some alley for some homeless man to use.” 

        “Demon?” (Y/N) questioned. “Of course you’d have connections with demons.” 

        “What can I say?” Ashley smiled as a stabbing sensation hit (Y/N)’s stomach. “I get around.”

        “Yeah…” (Y/N) groaned, a pained chuckle escaping her. “I can tell…” 

        Ashley took the knife out of (Y/N’s stomach, going to plunging again, but (Y/N) quickly used her nails and smashed them into Ashley’s eyes, kneeing Ashley with her injured leg since she couldn’t use her healthy once because she’d just fall once applying pressure to her injured leg.

        Ashley let out a short scream at the feeling. Ashley tumbled backwards as (Y/N) followed, using her weight to hold Ashley down as Ashley thrashed about. Ashley tried to stab (Y/N) again, but (Y/N) grabbed her wrists, the two of them struggling for the knife.

        “Let go!” Ashley shouted, one of her eyes covered by (Y/N)’s sharp thumb.

        “You first!” (Y/N) retorted, knowing very well the both of them wouldn't give up as she moved her other hand to the knife, now having both of her hands to try and fight for the knife. (Y/N) ignored the stinging in her forearm from earlier’s slashing.

        (Y/N) was able to grab the knife from Ashley’s hands after a bit of a struggle and a few small cuts on the finger. She held onto the blade tightly as Ashley tried to keep (Y/N)’s wrist steady. It was proven fruitless as the first stab hit Ashley’s chest, hitting bone. Ashley let out a choked sob, pain pooling out of her mouth and chest.

        (Y/N) scoffed, a bit annoyed at Ashley's struggle. If Ashley would just keep still, it wouldn’t hurt as bad. She was willing to make it quick, but Ashley’s squirming and thrashing around was only making her miss.

        “Stop moving.” (Y/N) hissed, using her injured hand to hold Ashley still by her neck.

        (Y/N) struck the knife down again, stabbing Ashley’s sternum. And again, she stabbed her chest, over and over as Ashley let out pained groans and small whimpers, doing her best to claw (Y/N)’s hands. Her hands weakened, her protests and strangled breaths shortening as her pulse weakened under (Y/N)’s hold while (Y/N)’s pulse and breaths only quickened, as if Ashley was giving her own life to her.

        She kept stabbing...

        She kept stabbing...

        She kept stabbing.

        It was like she couldn’t control her hand, like she had no thought other than the echo in her ears.

        Stab…

        Stab…

        Stab.

        She didn’t stop until her hand was soaked, too wet to hold the knife right. She realized she had been stabbing all the way down to the hilt, eight inches that was repeatedly stabbing into Ashley’s chest.

        (Y/N) paused, staring down at Ashley’s face, both faces void of emotion and thought. 

        I did that. She realized.

        A sick turning sensation lurked in her stomach, making her realize she was stabbed in an vital point. She dropped her knife, groaning as she hissed. She got up off Ashley’s dead body, crawling her way to her bathroom, making sure not to get any blood on her carpet. It would've been better for her if Ashley just kept the knife in her stomach, keeping the wound plugged in, but unfortunately Lady Luck seems to avoid (Y/N) any chance she can. 

        She opened the bottom drawer and pulled out a med-kit. Well, that’s one thing useful about being a nurse, you’re always prepared at home.

        She opened the kit, but paused. She couldn’t just open up her stomach and stitch up the insides, but if she goes to the hospital like this she’d definitely get questioned. (Y/N) groaned, mulling over what she should do. 

        She didn’t mean to kill Ashley. Well, she did in self-defense, but she didn’t mean to do it so cruelly. It was almost like second-nature to harm her.

        But she deserved it, didn’t she? She hurt Andrew, (Y/N) remembers that. Ashley made him jump, she’s the one that broke his legs and gave him internal bleeding in his head. (Y/N) made not know much about Ashley, but she knows how manipulative she is. She remembered hearing Ashley screaming at Andrew the first day she met Andrew. She remembered Ashley accusing Andrew of all the crimes he did; of course, he committed them, but she helped too, so she was still at fault. 

        The Graves siblings, even their name is fitting. Two siblings who put others in their graves, and now one is in their own. 

        (Y/N) couldn’t go to the police, not with this. It was self-defense, maybe with the intent of third-degree murder, a spur of the moment, nevertheless it was to protect herself even if she did get a bit carried away. She surely can’t just blame it all on stress or childhood neglect, she’d be a hypocrite.

        She always refused to let her past get in the way of her future. The love she didn’t receive from her parents, she gave to herself. The support she never received from her parents, she gave to herself. She earned all her awards, her scholarships, her jobs, her money all on her own without any support, encouragement, or financial aid from her parents.

        Her mother didn’t believe she could be a nurse. Her mother never really had any faith in her, but her mother never did stick around her long enough to bother learning who were daughter was.

        “You’re far too apathetic and antisocial for that sort of thing, they'd be scared of you.” Her mother would say. “All you care about is yourself. You’d be fired within the first week for neglecting the kids..”

        Ironic coming from her.

        Her father didn’t want her to be a nurse either, not for pediatrics or adults. 

        “It’s just not a good idea. You’re too sensitive for such things. You couldn’t survive watching kids die everyday, that’s such a depressing job.” Her father would say. “You shouldn’t be a nurse in general. Adult men take advantage of caring nurses, it doesn’t help that you’re so... weak? You're just too innocent and pretty for that kind of work! It’s best you find something else. Do something that makes you happy!” 

        Yeah, she totally refuse to let her past get in her way... Her apartment was as void of color as her. She slept with plushies to cope with her loneliness. On bad days, she has no friends to call or parents who'd listen to her vent, so the stuffed animals listen to her instead. She doesn't ever have energy to eat or shower or clean, the only reason she does all those things is to keep herself somewhat healthy so she wouldn't draw any attention from others. She wouldn't want to be a bother to them over some measly emotions. She's dealt with depression practically her whole life, why suddenly indulge in change if it might worsen her condition. 

        She doesn't want to be happy, that would involve having to put energy into changing herself and her lifestyle, and all she wants to do is spend her energy hopping into bed and sleeping. She wasn't one to care for herself, she liked making other people happy. 

        Kids made her happy. Medicine made her happy. She loved working with kids, caring and nurturing for them like they were her own. She liked being the reason a kid could walk again, or talk, or play, or smile. She liked helping children, giving them the help they needed. She liked being able to change their lives, catch those early signs and prevent them from becoming herself; someone absolutely miserable, depressed, and hating herself. Hell, the only reason she hasn't killed herself was because she doesn't want to be a bother to other people. 

        She liked medicine. She liked studying medical advancements, all the new machines and inventions and vaccines and diseases and all! She liked learning about it all; medical procedures, illnesses and disorders, psychology facts, disorders, injuries, hell sometimes medicine could even dive into philosophy! 

        Medicine and kids made her happy because it was what she lacked as a child. She liked being a pediatric nurse, she liked giving kids the chance to receive help early on so they could be functional adults in life, so they couldn't end up like (Y/N); a mother who couldn't care about her, a misguided father, money being towards bills and education, no relationships or genuine connections or friendships with people, and no joy in life other than sleeping her days away. As a nurse, she could catch onto early symptoms for kids and be able to address the issues before it worsen; whether it'd be physical or mental health, that's why she's studying to be a pediatrician now. 

        But she can't be a pediatrician if she goes to jail. This act of self-defense was far too cruel and grotesque, the judges wouldn't believe that it was for self-defense, far too homicidal and beast-like with how she basically just slashed Ashley's ribcage open. No, she wouldn't win that court case at all. She'd lose her job, and she'd probably never be able to work in medical field ever! She needed to do something.

        She put the med-kit back into her cabinet, instead she took off her shoe and grabbed her sock, plugging up her wound with it. Yes, it was very gross and she felt like gagging at this, but it was to insure she wouldn't bleed out. She had been stabbed in her stomach with an 8-inch knife, so no doubt there would be internal damage she couldn't patch up on her own. She used her other sock to plug in the hole on her right calf, plugging the wound up until it was stuffed despite the pain she felt digging her fingers into the wound. She put back on her shoes without her socks and stood up from the ground

        She quickly got to work, grabbing two large black blankets. She wrapped up Ashley's body in both blankets, ensuring the blood wouldn't drip everywhere, and she dragged the body to her car. She put the body and knife in her trunk and limped back into her house, quickly mopping up the mess using hydrogen peroxide on her floors to completely get rid of all the blood. She put her phone on her charger at home, leaving it so the police couldn't track her location on her phone in case anything happens. She got in her car and drove, going further and further out of the city until a good distance away, going to the woods. She got the dead body and knife out of her car, dragging it a good ways into the dark woods before dropping it. 

        She couldn't leave the body in her apartment, and she couldn't just drop it off somewhere in the city when her DNA was under Ashley's fingernails when Ashley scratched her. She left the knife here too, she didn't want to keep a knife she almost got murdered with, and she didn't want to keep it as a trophy for her crimes either. Here in these woods, this is where the police will least likely find her and the murder weapon, at least for tonight. Tomorrow, (Y/N) will return and dig a grave for her, or maybe she'll luck out a wild animal will feast on her. Even then, nobody will probably miss her other than Andrew.

        Jesus, what is she gonna tell Andrew? She can't just say she killed his sister! Even if he's a runaway criminal, she's one too now! He's probably not against murdering her, even if he doesn't like her better than the other nurses. I mean, she killed his sister, so it's only natural for him to kill her?

        But, his sister was just a runaway, she was a criminal! Maybe there's no police looking for them, but still! (Y/N) was a nurse, she's saved plenty of lives, surely taking one can't be that bad? Especially if she took a wrongdoer's life? 

        Before she could turn around and walk out of the woods, she stopped, pausing. She had this nagging feeling to check Ashley’s pockets. It was like a gut instinct (or perhaps literally being gutted earlier) that told her to check. She got on the ground, undoing the blankets and checking Ashley’s pockets to sate this desire. She first found a gun in her waistband. (Y/N) took the gun, popping out the magazine to check how many rounds there were.

        None, empty. Either Ashley found this gun with no bullets, or she already used them.

        (Y/N) did some more digging and found a scalpel, a hospital scalpel from her work she could only assume. Perhaps Ashley was planning to kill (Y/N) with the small blade, before deciding to steal her kitchen knife instead. The bigger the better, right?

        Finally, she looked in Ashley's pockets once more and found something in one of her pockets. Some black and red occult looking charm.

        She remembered Ashley mentioning how she’d give a demon (Y/N)’s soul in exchange for a vision. Is this their charm that keeps them in contact, or in a contract together? Whatever it was, (Y/N) felt like she should keep it in case it was indeed something to a demon; she didn’t want it going into the wrong hands (as if she could talk). (Y/N) shoved the charm into her pocket, keeping the gun and scalpel now that it had her fingerprints, before turning around.

        Did you see this coming, Ashley? (Y/N) thought, resisting the urge to let a smug smirk form on her face. 

        She limped back out of the woods, hopping into her car and hiding the two weapons under her car seat away from view. She turned the engine on, speeding to the hospital and going ten above the speed limit. It wasn't good for her to be out for so long. She could live with her leg being injured so long as she didn't bleed out, but her stomach could definitely develop to internal bleeding, if not already due to how big that knife was. On her way there, she tried thinking of an alibi. This is a knife wound, so it's mandatory for the hospital staff to report this incident to the police. The police are going to ask her questions about what happened and such. (Y/N) doesn't want to come clean, if she does, her whole life would be ruined! She'd lose the only thing she has in her life that she genuinely cares about; her job. If she loses her job and education, she'd be completely lost in this world with absolutely no passions or interests, she might just develop an interest for putting herself in a grave instead and take her life. 

        She thought about her alibi, before cooking up a shitty one. It's the only one she has for a time like this. She can just say that she was driving to the small local store near her apartment complex after work (thus explaining her hospital scrubs), and when she walked out, she was harassed by a man so she fought him and escaped, then drove to the hospital to get medical assistance. She could say she didn't recognize the man, and that he wore a mask so she couldn't see what he looked like. The store she was thinking about just had their cameras stolen a week ago and they have't bother replacing them yet, so there would be no camera footage to confirm or deny this accusation. Her apartment complex is on a bad side of town too (the rent was cheap there), and their camera footage must not be any higher than a quality of a Nokia, so it most likely didn't catch Ashley sneaking into her apartment, or (Y/N) dragging something out out her apartment. Maybe she can pull this off!

        Sure, it's a bad excuse, but what else does she have? This is the best she can come up with on short notice, especially with no witnesses (which is good), along with no camera footage to protect or challenge her word. They'd just have to believe her because what else can they do? She's obviously injured! People in big cities get stabbed all the time and sometimes the assaulters get away with it, maybe she can do this too! 

        (Y/N) got to the hospital entrance and quickly made sure to do a check in her car to make sure there was no DNA of Ashley's. She hopped out of the car and brushed off any dirt or hair or such on her, making sure her gun and scalpel were hidden under her car seat, before limping into the hospital lobby and getting inside of the ER waiting room. 

        The receptionist sat doing work on her computer before her eyes trailed to (Y/N). 

        “Are you okay?” they questioned as (Y/N) held onto her stomach, applying pressure to the sock.

        “I got stabbed in the stomach and my calf. I’ve been bleeding for quite a while, I reckon I’ll pass out soon.” She explained. 

        The nurse nodded and handed her the paperwork to complete. (Y/N) always thought paperwork in the ER was stupid, but it was to help identify the patient and their insurance and all that important information; even in the brink of death, you need to do work. Pathetic, really. It truly does show something about society, whether it's for your own good or not, even if your writing is alienated due to all of your blood on the paper or your blurred vision making it hard to concentrate. 

        (Y/N) sped through the packets of papers and agreements, doing her best to not bleed onto the paper or the hospital chairs (why are the chairs made of cloth instead of leather anyways? At least leather can be washed easier).

        (Y/N) gave the papers to the receptionist, who accepted it and gave it to one of the doctors at the back room. (Y/N) sat down and waited for a doctor to call her name. Her stomach and leg hurt badly, it hurt to breathe and to walk, and her wounds just kept throbbing, spilling more blood and soaking up her temporary sock-bandages. She’s definitely going to throw away these socks…

        The hospital’s bright LED lights hurt her eyes, giving her a headache. Or maybe the headache was from blood loss? Who knows really, it just hurt to sit here and wait.

        Luckily, she didn’t have to wait too long before a nurse called her name. They helped her stand up from the chair, leading her to their office in quick fashion. They placed her down on the operating table, asking if she could remember her name, age, where she was, who the president was, etc.

        “I’m (Y/N) (L/N), 22 years old. I got stabbed in my stomach by a knife, along with my right calf and a laceration on my right arm.” She informed the nurse as they put on medical gloves.

        A trauma surgeon came in with a tray of alcohol wipes, a medical needle and thread, a medical stapler, and syringe of anesthesia. (Y/N) resisted the urge to groan, she didn’t like needles, but she understood it would make the surgery much easier for her and them.

        (Y/N) rolled up her sleeves hesitantly, feeling self-conscious about the old scars on her wrists despite the more important matters at hand. The surgeon ignored her scars as he gave her the shot. 

        The surgeon pulled up her shirt to show her stomach as the nurse cut a hole on (Y/N)’s pants for her leg, making her remember the make-shift bandages she had.

        “I had to use what I had to stop the bleeding, so I used my socks.” She spoke for her lie. 

        She would’ve said more, but she decided it was best not to in case she accidentally messed up her alibi. She opted to stay quiet, waiting for the anesthesia to take effect so the doctor could begin the quick surgery. 

        .

        .

        When you wake up from surgery or an accident, you’d expect to see bright light, instead she only saw a dim light peeking through. She opened her eyes, waking up and looking around her.

        There was a curtain next to her, the white curtain had a slit and moonlight poured out, barely lighting the room. Her left arm was hooked to a IV, the needle sticking into the crevice of her elbow. The needle was slowing flowing blood into her, causing her to shudder at the thought of a needle stuck inside her.

        Her eyes trailed down to her right arm, seeing her arm covered in bandages. She picked up her sheets, seeing her leg was covered in bandages too. She moved her hospital gown up, seeing her stomach was covered with a medical patch and medical tape to hold it in place.

        This is probably going to take some time to heal. (Y/N) thought, resisting the urge to groan. 

        How fun, she’s going to spend weekend off here in the hospital. Either that, or she’ll stay home bedridden. 

        There was a soft knock on her door, before it opened, showing one of the doctors from the emergency department of the hospital. She had never met any of the doctors or nurses here, they’re always busy and on their feet running around. 

        “Ms. (L/N)?” he questioned, smiling.

        “That’s me.” She nodded. “Hello, sir.” 

        “Hey! Have you just woken up?” he questioned, a clipboard and pen in his hand as he walked over to her bedside, standing over her.

        “Yes.” She confirmed. 

        “Okay.” He commented, then cleared his throat. “So, you’ve been asleep for 18 hours. Usually anesthesia wears off in a few hours and you would wake up from some pain, but you stayed asleep for quite some time.” He spoke, flipping a page threw his papers clamped on his clipboard. “However, you could’ve been exhausted given you hadn’t slept because you were working earlier. Your medical history could’ve also helped contribute to that—hypersomnia and all.”

        Yes, the condition she’s almost positive her mother gave her. Being locked in that small room as a toddler really did affect her sleep patterns and routine. There wasn’t much to do in that dark room other than cry, watch old cartoon re-runs a thousand times, and sleep—she chose the latter. 

        “Yeah, sorry.” She muttered, not sorry at all but still feeling the need to apologize.

        “No worries. So, we did report your case to local authorities since it was a stabbing; you should know, hospital procedure and all.” The doctor spoke as (Y/N) nodding, knowing very well the protocol. “Great. So, there’s actually some officers here to question you about the incident. Are you fine with that?” 

        She nodded, ignoring her nerves that went haywire at the thought of talking to the police. So soon after her crime too! 

        “Okay, so before they come in. Let me explain to you really quick what’s going on.” He spoke, clearing his throat. “So you’re going to stay overnight, well more so over day since it’s 3 A.M. but we’ll look after you. So we stapled up your small intestine, and we stapled the skin of your stomach so that it wouldn’t rip or come undone in a large area like stitches would, along with your right calf. Your right arm has stitches due to how tight the skin is along with how deep the wound was. After two week, you can come back and we’ll remove the staples off your stomach and the sutures. For the next two weeks, you need to eat soft foods and liquids such as soups, breads, puddings, all that."

        “That sounds fine.” She nodded. 

        “Sweet. So, before they come in, is there anything you want or need? Like, do you need to use the bathroom? Or are you hungry or thirsty?” he questioned.

        “No, I’m fine.” she politely denied. 

        She’d rather not drink or eat anything, she felt like throwing up at the moment. She really didn’t feel like getting up and walking to the bathroom with an injured foot at the moment.

        “Okay. I’ll let the officers in.” The doctor nodded, writing a few notes on his clipboard before heading towards the door.

        He opened the door and used his hand to call the officers over. He left the door open as the officer walked in, a female and a male, who walked to (Y/N)’s bedside holding a notepad.

        “Hello, Ms. (L/N), right?” the female smiled. “I’m Officer Jenny and this is my partner, Officer Dixon. We have a few questions for you.” 

        “Nice to meet you.” (Y/N) spoke, flashing the officers a polite smile.

        “So, you’ve been admitted into the hospital for a stabbing, correct?” Officer Jenny questioned.

        “That’s correct, ma’am.” (Y/N) nodded.

        “When and where did you get stabbed?” Officer Jenny questioned.

        “Well, I got stabbed in my stomach by a knife. When I fought them off, they slashed my right arm and they stabbed my right calf.” (Y/N) explained, mentally going over her words carefully as Officer Dixon wrote the information in his notepad.

        “And when did this take place?” Officer Jenny questioned. 

        “Well, it was last night when I got off my shift. I work here at this hospital actually in the pediatric branch.” She added. 

        She was about to go on about her grocery store alibi, but paused. The timeframe won’t match. She took forever to get to the hospital after the stabbing so that she could clean her apartment, dispose of Ashley’s body, and finally get to the hospital. She can’t use the grocery store alibi since not only would be make no sense for her to get stabbed someplace where the cameras are coincidentally shut down, but none of the store employees would mention seeing her when they get questioned by the police, and it wouldn’t help that she decided to drive to the hospital bleeding instead of telling the store to call 911 or herself calling 911. 

        Her alibi is unreliable now, so she needs to quickly act now and change it while acting normal and resist hesitating. The officers’ body-cams would catch their interaction and it would be evaluated by licensed psychiatrists, looking out for any holes in the story, for how her words flow, her vocal patterns, her body language. The alibi is now a death trap.

        “After my shift, I drove back to my apartment and went on a walk in a park. Perhaps 7 P.M, so it was dark because of it being November and all.” She explained. “The park was Pacific North Satellite park.” She added, a park not too far from her apartment complex. 

        “I didn’t bother changing out of my work scrubs because I was just going to shower when I got back to my apartment, and I had left my phone on the charger at home. I was walking down the path listening to nature when I heard footsteps in front of me. Someone came up to me with their hands in their hoodie pocket, a black hoodie.” She explained, lying her way through the story. “They walked past me and quickly slashed my right arm… and… they grabbed my arm and stabbed me in the stomach with their knife… and then when I tried to get away… they knocked me down and stabbed my right calf.” She spoke, pausing her words every now and then to appear distressed as she faked reliving the moment. "I ran back to my apartment, plugged up the most severe wounds with my socks, and drove to the hospital since it wasn't too far and I didn't have my phone to call the police or ambulance. It was late at night, so there wasn't anyone around to ask for help, and I didn't want to be trapped in my apartment in case they decided to follow me...

        “Do you know who they were? Or did you catch what their face looked like?” Officer Jenny questioned as Office Dixon’s blurred, hastily writing down everything he heard.

        “No.” (Y/N) shook her head. “They had a black hoodie with their hood up. They had grey jeans too. They were perhaps around 5’6 tall…” she lied. “I’m unsure of their gender, but I think they were male.” 

        The most common description of a killer, or stereotypical when comparing to Ted Bundy or Jeffery Dahmer. With so little information, it’d be pretty hard to try and identify someone, especially someone who doesn’t exist (but of course, only [Y/N] knows that).

        “Do you think there could’ve been a specific motive or something you provoked?” Officer Jenny questioned, her question almost making (Y/N) scoff.

        Provoke? Provoke? How the hell could I have provoke them? (Y/N) thought, almost forgetting her alibi was still a lie.

        Sometimes she can even lie to herself with how scarily believable her lies are.

        But even if this mysterious murderer she made up didn't have a motive, did Ashley have one? It made her wonder, did Ashley really kill her because she was hated her being Andrew’s nurse? Even then, how the hell did she find out who she was, or even why? Ashley had never seen (Y/N) and Andrew together, at least not without her knowledge. 

        “No, ma’am. I’m unsure why, and I don’t believe I provoked them.” (Y/N) answered.

        “Is there any other information you’d like to tell us?” Officer Jenny questioned.

        “No.” (Y/N) answered.

        Short and sweet, it’s best to leave it all like this.

        “Well, if you ever remember anything or have any questions, make sure to call the department.” Officer Jenny spoke. “If we find any information or such, we’ll give you a call.” 

        “If we find who done it, do you want to press charges?” Officer Dixon questioned, causing (Y/N) to pause and think.

        “No. The process is too time-consuming, besides, I doubt they tried to kill me without a reason.” (Y/N) spoke. 

        Everything happens for a reason, after all. It’s logical to believe so.

        (Y/N) had never believed in fate or destiny, she had always believed everything happens for a reason. She hated the belief of something out of her reach trying to control her or her life. She’d rather choose what she wants to do, not something like fate. (Y/N) believes what she sees, so she doesn’t believe anything that isn’t backed up with facts or evidence. 

        Ashley tried killing (Y/N) for a reason, she said it herself. She'll take the dead woman's word on it since it came from her mouth.

        “I wouldn’t have to do this if you would’ve just stayed away from Andrew.” Her words rang in (Y/N)'s head.

        The audacity of some people, does Ashley truly believe she can control who Andrew sees? It’s not like there was anything wrong with Andrew and (Y/N)’s relationship, they were simply nurse and patient, nothing more and nothing less. Who does Ashley believe she is trying to control Andrew? She doesn’t have his heart, his brain, his body, his thoughts, his mouth, his eyes. He could do whatever he pleases and Ashley shouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

        Well, she can’t now. (Y/N) thought, holding back a chuckle. 

        "Are you sure, miss?” Officer Dixon questioned, surprised.

        “I’m sure. Maybe they had a bad day or something.” (Y/N) shrugged.

        “But you don’t just stab anyone on a bad day, this could be serious.” Officer Jenny spoke, her voice a little harsh compared to her gentle treatment earlier.

        Officer Jenny seems to not like having a killer run around, or have about zero clues.

        “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” (Y/N) sighed. "I'm very tired and I wish to rest.

        “The town next to us, they had a killing in a park too. The victim was a man, he was shot, multiple bullets in his chest.” Officer Jenny spoke quickly, hoping the information could bring some details out of the injured woman. “You happened to be a park too, perhaps this was the same guy! We need as much information as we can. Please miss (L/N), we’re relying on you.”

        “I’m sorry, but I truly don’t know. I don’t have anymore information to give to you.” (Y/N) sighed.

        Officer Jenny’s face hardened as Officer Dixon closed his notepad.

        “Very well. We’ll contact you in case we find any details.” Officer Dixon spoke, nodding his head down in respect and farewell, before telling Officer Jenny with his eyes that it was time to go.

        “Get well soon, miss…” Officer Jenny sighed, walking out of the room with her partner.

        Well, I forgot that part… (Y/N) thought, letting out a breath of relief.

        The park killer from the next door town, right, how could she forget? The victim was a man was found dead on the sidewalk, a clean knife nearby him, no fingerprints. The man had a hood, sunglasses, and gloves; a strange attire to walk around in at night, especially the sunglasses part. He died with six bullet wounds in his chest, the news said. The murder was actually a few days ago, maybe even a week ago. Nevertheless, (Y/N) could bet it was Ashley and Andrew. Ashley had that empty gun on her, which was now under (Y/N)’s car seat. 

        (Y/N) turned her head to the window once the police left. She reached over and opened up the curtains, looking up at the stars, or what she could see. Light pollution in the city is a major pain, you can’t even enjoy nature now thanks to humans.

        (Y/N) looked at the lights outside of the window, it’s the only thing semi-interesting to look at in a hospital bed. She didn’t want to turn on the TV, she knew it was all just re-runs of family-friendly movies like High School Musical or the local news. Unfortunately, hospitals don’t really have any good channels to watch.

        It’s only for one day. (Y/N) thought.

        She just had to deal with this for one day, then she could get back home and sleep. Despite always being so tired, she liked to work. The time she’d take to heal would feel like torture to her. Her depression made her feel a sense of worthlessness doing nothing, so being bedridden is just going to throw her in a depressive state. Usually she’d just get up and work overtime when she feels like this, but she really can’t if she’s injured. 

        Even though she has a reason to be lazing around in bed all day, she's not very happy about it. It's at times like these she wished she had some sort of entertainment in life, or at least friends, people she considered real friends. She had acquaintances growing up, but they just never really did it for her.

        The people she hung around with was only for school, she never bothered hanging out with them outside of school that way she could focus on her studies. Besides, they weren't important people to her, she only talked with them because they had conversed with her first, and it gave her something to pass time with at school. She always did have that closed-off demeanor, it surprised her whole family when she decided she wanted to be a pediatric nurse, and later a pediatrician. 

        (Y/N) stared at the window in deep thought, thinking.

        Maybe she could call her dad. The last time she called him was a month ago, to which she had to leave a voicemail... she never did receive a call back. And after that, she called on her birthday four months... to which she's still waiting for a call back. 

        Well, maybe he's just busy. He has a job and a life outside of his daughter, surely he'll call back eventually. She figured. 

        If she had her phone on her, she'd call and leave another voicemail for him to let him know he's okay.

        Wait, what's the point in calling? She's fine, and she hadn't called him of her condition, so what's the point in calling and telling him that she's still alive? Even if he did answer, what will he say other than a "that's good. I'm glad you're okay. I have to get back to work now." 

        If there's no point calling her dad, then there's certainly no point in calling her mom, for obvious reasons.

        (Y/N) groaned, hitting her head back against the pillow, before letting out a pained whine. Her head pounded terribly, followed by a slight ringing in her ears and a second of her vision blurring. Her right arm shot up to help soothe her head, before she let out a hiss, the movement of her arm causing a sharp pain to shoot up it. 

        "This sucks..." she complained, a pout making way onto her lips. 

        Before she could wallow in her sorrows any further, the door opened, gaining her attention. She turned her head, seeing a familiar man in a wheelchair.

        "Andrew?" she questioned, surprised. 

        "Hey." He greeted, flashing a smile at her.

        (Y/N) internally cringed at the sight of him, not that he was bad-looking or anything, but she wasn't expecting to see him so soon after what she's done. 

        "What are you doing here in the emergency department?" (Y/N) questioned, not bothering if the question sound a bit rude or not; she'll just blame it on the headache if he asks.         

        "I heard from the nurses that you got injured." Andrew explained, rolling his wheelchair up to her bedside.

        "A nurse told you I was here?" (Y/N) questioned, confused.

        Well, that's against hospital policy, giving away patient information like that to just anyone. It made her curious who from the nightshift had the audacity to tell him.

        "Who told you?" (Y/N) questioned.

        "Eh, I don't know. That nurse I had before you." He shrugged his shoulders carelessly, not bothering to remember the name. "It was something something. Started with a P. Maybe it was Pen, or Penny? Or was it Nancy? It doesn't really matter."

        "Penelope?" (Y/N) smiled, almost giggling at his poor attempt to remember the nurse's name. 

        Right, makes sense. Penelope was Andrew's nurse before (Y/N), and Penelope seems to see (Y/N) as a friend, so she probably questioned Doctor Ryan where (Y/N) was. Doctor Ryan must've been informed as soon as he entered the office, considering he wasn't going to be able to teach (Y/N) for a few nights until she got better.

        However, she felt a little happy that he couldn't remember Penelope's name (especially after [Y/N]'s little jealous episode from earlier at the thought of Penelope and Andrew being together. Obviously because she just enjoyed having Andrew as a patient, nothing more).

        "Yeah, maybe that was her name?" he hummed, not bothering to think back if it was actually that nurse or not. 

        Yes, it was Penelope, he might not bother to remember her name, but he remembers her face from earlier when he and (Y/N) had gone to the staff room and Penelope was acting strange. He also remembered how tight and uncomfortable she had done his bandages on his broken ankles, much different compared to (Y/N)'s soft hands and nurturing personality. 

        "She shouldn't be giving away information like that." (Y/N) sighed, chuckling softly. "But thank you for coming."

        It was a little heartwarming to know at least someone cared about her. Even if her parents did, at least her co-worker and close acquaintances did, even reserved patients such as Andrew were worried about her!

        "So, what brought you over here? Did you have a question, or perhaps you need your bandages changed?" (Y/N) questioned, observing his body up and down to see if there was anything out of the ordinary or if he needed any assistance. 

        "No... I just... wanted to see for myself, I guess..." he muttered, looking away from her eyes as he resisted the urge to squirm under her gaze. "I heard you got hurt pretty bad, so I got curious..."

        "You sure you didn't just miss me?" she teased, trying to brightened up or at least lightened the mood into a more comfortable atmosphere. 

        "Don't get ahead of yourself." He chuckled, her words succeeding in her goal as they both smiled at each other.

        His smile softened, his eyes glazing over, seeming to be lost in thought. He seemed unsure of himself, before he just sighed. 

        "So... what happened?" he questioned. "If you don't mind me asking."

        Her own smile faltered, doing her best to remain neutral and not puke her guts out as visions of stabbing Ashley's lifeless body took over her mind, hearing each explicit and disturbing wet splash as her hands slowly started to coat with blood from how violently she was pushing her knife into Ashley's chest, down to the hilt. 

        "I got attacked..." she spoke vaguely, clearing her throat awkwardly as she kept her eyes on him to see if he would believe her. 

        "Do you know by who?" Andrew questioned.

        "No." She spoke quickly, internally cringing at how defensive her tone sounded.

        Andrew's gaze hardened, his intuition not believing her. Of course he wouldn't believe her, living with Ashley basically his whole life had practically made him become a human lie detector. Before he could speak about the matter, she spoke up. 

        "Can you check on Hailey for me please? She was a bit down earlier today, surely you can cheer her up for me? Just don't mention my current condition to her, please." (Y/N) requested, sounding more of a pathetic demand and excuse to get him to leave her alone. 

        Andrew looked hesitant to leave her, before he sighed, nodding his head. "Yeah, sure..." he grumbled. 

        "Thank you." She hummed, giving him a false smile.

        They had a moment to themselves, silently staring at each other, before Andrew turned his wheelchair around and rolled out of the room, closing the door behind him. (Y/N) let out a sigh of relief once she was alone, glad to have avoided the tough subject.

        Maybe she'll tell him one day, once she gets to know him better and can be certain he wouldn't kill her for it.

        She ignored the pain as she squirmed into a comfortable position to sleep in. She needed the rest, and sleep is the body's natural way of healing after her. Her eyes trailed to the curtains, watching the cars on the road zoom past the hospitals and watching as some lights started to shut off, night owls getting ready for bed too just like her. 

        She'll call her parents as soon as she gets out of the hospital, even if they've probably not heard the news or care about it, she still wants some sort of closure from her parents. Maybe they'll even take pity on her and stay on the phone for a bit, ask how she's doing, or what she's doing now. 

        Sounds like a plan. (Y/N) thought, closing her eyes as she ignored her body's pain, waiting for sleep to overtake her. 

I know there hasn't been much of any Andrew and reader moments, but chapter 5 will have plenty, these past chapters have just been plot and character-development and such!

My next series will be a Yandere! Hitoshi Shinso x Yandere! Fem! Reader, so keep watch for that!

To the Ashley fans, I'm sorry for what I've done.

Want more Andrew Graves content? Check out the Andrew Graves masterlist!

Inbox is OPEN for questions about the story and new plotlines/ideas, not for request!

Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, current chapter, Chapter 5, Chapter 6 (in the works)

#stellar constellations #coffin of andy and leyley #andrew graves x reader #andy graves x reader #the coffin of andy and leyley #andy and leyley #andy graves #andrew graves #fem reader #x fem!reader #x reader #x y/n #x you #x female reader #x yn #x female y/n #yandere x yandere #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere #female yandere #yandere x willing reader #tcoaal andrew #tcoaal #andrew tcoaal

[talisidekick]

Thanks for being so compassionate! As someone who's had to defend himself from assault pre transition and assault and attempted trafficking during transition which has contributed to some agoraphobia centered on thoughts like "damn, wasn't safe off T not safe on it", it's been rlly scary seeing ppl shrug off how transmascs are endangered in real life in service of discrediting transandro discourse. Cool seeing who's really real I guess????? anyways hope you're well and warm. Srry about my run on sentence lmao

There is absolutely nothing to apologize for. We only get to see one side publically, and that's pretty much just trans women issues. Media likes to cover just us. I rarely see news stories about just trans men. We don't see the stories about trans men getting stalked or followed around in stores by total strangers, getting attacked in public, rarely a mention if a trans man gets killed. It's happening but you don't see it. You don't see a flood of forum posts about the constant dismissal of, unique brand of hatred around, or the types of dangers faced by trans men.

My introduction to questioning my gender was actually FROM transandrophobia. The reason for this is I've had more of a curvy figure since ... well forever, even though my body was producing T on it's own. I got A LOT of compliments on it by pretty much all my friends (which were mostly girls, and yes that probably should have been a sign but I'm a bit thick sometimes, okay?) because I was "unconventionally sexy" because of it. I'm now remembering I do have a shirtless picture somewhere from before I was on HRT ... I'll work up the nerve to show that at some point to prove that point. Anywho, because of this, a random ass stranger had been following me as I went to grab a few things from a walmart after my shift. It was weird as fuck. Uncomfortably close, constantly looking at me but not what they were pretending to, and I kind of knew this dick was waiting until there was no one in the aisle before pulling something. I'd been mugged before at 14 and 15 so at 24 I was kind of like "I'm not getting stabbed in a damn Walmart" and just made sure to be quick. I got out of the store and met up with some old work friends and just let them know someone was following me and I wanted to wait them out. Props to my friends at the time, they bullseyed the dude (to be fair he wasn't being stealthy) and called him out. And he yelled back "You'll never be a real man" to me. My friends laughed at him because as far as we all knew, I was cis. But this would happen two more times in the same week. A lady would tell me I shouldn't be doing "this" to myself with a full body gesture, and that god "loves" me; and a college colleague flat out dismissed my concerns on something because "only a real man would need to worry about that". It got me wondering if this was a new fad, to hate on someones manliness, and upon looking that up I learned about what exactly transgender meant, the experiences of trans men and women (just a bit on women, my concern was on trans men at the time), and thought it was kind of cool there were people who'd know two sides to the gender spectrum. But it must SUCK to have to go through the bullshit I did and actually be affected by it. Like, no one has any right to tell another man they're less of one.

This whole situation would actually come back to help me 2 years later in finding myself. I'd only really looked up trans men and curiosity mid covid lock down would lead me to look up non-binary and then trans women. However, transandrophobia is how I, a trans woman, got her start. So it boils my blood when I see people talk about T being toxic or trans men having it easier. It shows a complete lack of understanding and a lack of acceptance and willingness to empathize. Trans men and trans mascs have different issues, that doesn't make them lesser, and while those issues may not affect me, it doesn't make it less of my problem to help deal with where I can. I know certain issues I'll have no experience on, no idea how to help, but that doesn't mean I can't still offer to be support. Everyone should be doing the same, and shame on those who aren't.

You deserve equal treatment and support in your fight for it, not dismissal. Those that dismiss the issues of trans men aren't allies, they're transphobes. And fuck transphobes.

#trans #transgender #transandrophobia #my asks #2slgbtqia+ #ftm #mtf #trans positivity #transphobia mention #trans men

[genericpuff]

Do you know "Eggnoid"? It's a rather old webtoon about a girl being put into circumstances on taking care of a robot guy who hatched from an egg (hence the title) the robot guy appears to be a grown man, but he has mental capabilities of a toddler and even acts like one. So, it's like those types of "born sexy yesterday" tropes but the gender reversed. The girl also repeatedly shown crushing over the robot guy and at some point, she called him her boyfriend despite she's supposed to be his caretaker.

I haven't read it, but I can definitely attest that there's a double standard when it comes to gender roles and age gaps / situations of grooming / etc. in literature but especially in webtoons. And by that I mean I've legit seen people hold comics like Lore Olympus accountable for their gross dynamics between a young teenage girl and the much older and richer love interest, but then turn around and say it's "couple goals" for a teenage boy to hook up with a much older woman. At the end of the day there's still a power imbalance due to the age gap and the massive differences in life experiences between the two, gender doesn't really change that.

Big ole' sip of hot tea as a take, but speaking as an AFAB, a lot of women are just as capable of grooming and taking advantage of younger men in the same way as men towards young women, it's just that on the surface people tend to get skittish about addressing that because they don't want to sound like they're going "yeah well actually women though-" and dismissing the notion of toxic masculinity. Which yes, that's a fair thing to worry about, some people do use that as a way to dismiss the arguments made regarding patterns of grooming behavior in men towards young girls (among many other problems in which men and toxic masculinity are held accountable), but like any topic of this nature, it's not always a cut and dry black and white thing. Toxic masculinity and the grooming of teenage girls by adult men is a very real problem! But just like how we can understand the nuance that being a man by default doesn't immediately make you a predator, we should be able to understand the nuance that being a woman doesn't give you a free pass to do the same things we call out men for doing without consequences. It's like the double standard in LO that it's okay for Persephone to do the same things - if not worse - than what Leuce and Minthe and Thetis do, because she's the main character and she's not some scummy "mud-sucking" lower class person, she's rich and a Queen and she's wearing a giant hat so it makes it okay /s

Unfortunately the saying of "I support women's rights and women's wrongs" is being used in a completely tone deaf "literally excusing the main character of her crimes and wrongdoings against others because she happens to be a woman" kind of way, while missing the real point of the saying - supporting women's wrongs doesn't mean you celebrate their abuse towards others, it just means women shouldn't automatically be viewed as irredeemable "crazy bitches" for making mistakes like any other human does, and like any other human, they should be given the opportunity to grow and heal and learn from their wrongs.

When it comes to Persephone specifically, it can't even be chalked up to a "one time mistake" anymore, she's literally been showing patterns of abusive behavior for years now and refusing to take accountability, and now even Rachel is meme'ing on it knowing fully well it's what people are calling Persephone out for in the critical spaces. That's not "supporting women's wrongs", that's enabling the wrongs of a person because they happen to be a woman, and that's not okay. Persephone isn't a "girl boss", she's a bully.

I think the double standard in these age gap romances also speaks to the idolization and fixation on women as being nothing more than conquests for men as well. People who romanticize age gaps between a young woman and an older man think, "Wow, that woman is so mature for her age, enough that an older richer man would choose HER to be his wife! So romantic!" when in reality those who know those dynamics are unhealthy and toxic recognize it as an older man taking advantage of a young woman who's being love-bombed into believing she's "mature for her age" so that she'll sleep with him. Meanwhile, on the other side of it, those who romanticize young men getting with older women tend to come at it from the angle of "well she's so old and washed up, no man could ever love her, her chance for love and a happily ever after is gone now! it's so wonderful of that young man to give that sad and lonely old woman love and attention!" and yet fail to see it from the same perspective of an older person manipulating a young person with zero life experience, because there's still this deeply-rooted ideology that women are "used up" by age 30 and any man who gives her attention beyond that age range is a hero. Completely neglecting the fact that relationships aren't off the table at all for older single people and they don't need to involve robbing the cradle.

I blame the lack of older couple representation in media tbh, so many mainstream romance stories are basically just this:

To pull it out of the perspective of LO and webtoons for a second (sorry, I'm going on a hell of a tangent here), remember how gross it was when it was revealed in Fifty Shades Darker that Christian had been introduced to the concept of BDSM at age 15 through one of his mom's friends (i.e. an older woman!) who Anastasia calls "Mrs. Robinson"? And they had that relationship until he was 21? And they never really did anything about that, it was pretty much just there to explain why Christian was fucked up but he still got married to Anastasia, an innocent woman who he was repeating the cycle of abuse with, and lived happily ever after anyways?

Yeah. That was pretty fucked up.

#we all need to do better to hold ourselves accountable for shitty behavior #there are def societal issues at play that predispose people to have certain opinions or react differently based on concepts like gender #but true feminism means making a better world for women *and* men *and* everyone within and outside of that binary #it's not “rich and powerful women can do whatever they want because they're boss babes and deserve to be mean" #that's literally more along the lines of white feminism which we've definitely talked about here before #and just gender supremacy as a whole which isn't helpful for anyone #always remember to ask yourself: “is it feminism or is it misandry?” #because a lot of legit misandrists try to moonlight as feminists and really just hurt the cause as a whole

[lanadelreyscokewhor3]

OFF TO THE RACES- J.B BARNES

Pairing: Dark! Stalker! Bucky x Slightly Dark! Fem! Reader

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: you stumble across an intriguing stranger at your dark and shabby motel you're hiding out at, curious as to who he is. one thing leads to another, and you realize bucky may not be the prince charming he made himself out to be.

WARNING. THIS CONTAINS DARKER CONTENT, SUCH AS STALKING AND SEX POLLEN/ DRUGGING. READ WITH CAUTION.

Warnings: fingering, sex pollen/ drugging, stalking, manipulation, overstim, petnames, swearing, daddy kink, bondage, praise kink, slight dumbification, drugs and booze used, mentions of readers bad past, overstim using pool jets (yup. i did this), catcalling, slight pet play if u squint

“my old man is a tough man, but he got a soul as sweet as blood-red jam- and he shows me, he knows me, every inch of my tar-black soul. he doesn't mind i have a flat broke-down life- in fact, he says he thinks it's what he might like about me. admires me, the way i roll like a rolling stone”- off to the races, lana del rey

It was quiet, in room 238. 

Hollow, and empty. 

A shell of something, something once beautiful and bright. Now it was dimmed, a star robbed of its shine and beauty. The cream wallpaper peeled at the edges like wilting flower petals, exposing the roughness of the plaster underneath. 

You watched the smoke from your cigarette slither up to the ceiling, past the no smoking sign, intermingling with the faint light that the bedside table provided as it hummed quietly. 

The lace sheets were comfortable, you noted, sprawled out on the bed like a child as you breathed in the toxic smoke, feeling the smog coat your throat, your lungs- stealing the breath from you.

 It was a good burn. The kind of burn you needed, to fill the emptiness of this room. 

But it wasn't all empty, your thoughts chanted at you, your glazed-over eyes noting the shadows that danced across the wallpaper, keeping you company through the night. 

They had eyes, you realized. Someone was watching you. 

You looked over to the window, watching the curtains sway in the cool gentle breeze as you smushed the butt of your cigarette in the ashtray, perched upon the bible they had left you here. 

There was no money between its pages. You had already checked. 

Sitting up slowly, padded over to the window, peering out at the rows of closed doors of the motel you had stopped at. It was no Chateau Marmont, but it would have to do, with the spare change in your pocket. 

The kind of money that bought the flickering Motel 6 sign outside, the kind of money that bought humming vending machines that never worked, stealing your coins like the men in your past had. 

The kind of money that had bought closed windows, the red velvet curtains drawn tightly shut. 

Except for one. 

You zoned in on the pair of eyes watching you from afar, the hairs on your arms sticking up from his cool gaze. 

He was beautiful. Dangerously beautiful. 

The kind of beauty that was near painful to look at, because you knew he would hurt you. His demeanor was dark, the shadows seeming to wrap around him like a cloak, filled with mysteries you urged to find out. 

You were enchanted to him, and his crystal blue eyes, the orbs sucking you in greedily as you watched his large, 6’5 figure tilt his head to the side. 

To observe you. To take you in, as you were doing to him. 

The smokey air was sucked from your lungs as you saw him smirk, the boyish grin plastered across his face making it harder to breathe, as if those very shadows had slipped down your windpipe, crushing your lungs. 

You were a deer in headlights, only thinking to gently wave as he gave you a curt nod. His hand snaked out to pull to curtains shut, his shadow still lingering in your room. 

A trace of him, you felt, was never leaving. Those cool, blue eyes stayed with you as you undressed in the vanity mirror, taking note of each freckle and beauty mark. 

They stayed with you as drew the curtains shut, just as he did a few minutes prior. 

It was when you laid your head down, and fell into a deep slumber they haunted your nightmares.

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“ Just a vodka cranberry please.” you requested softly to the bartender behind the counter, his quick nod your only response before he bustled off to fetch the Grey Goose. 

You sighed, fingers drumming against the scratched-up mahogany, as you stared at the white towel on the man's shoulder as he made your drink, the pale hanging lights making the pink of your drink seem dull. 

Everything in this old bar seemed dull, but you didn't expect much from this part of town. Despite this, it was bustling for a Friday night, the velvet booths filled, and all pool tables and dart boards were occupied.

 It was stuffy, a thick haze of smoke above your head, that seemed to trickle into your drink as the bartender slid it over to you. “Thank you sir.” 

You prayed for the man behind the counter would say something to the men that had been catcalling you for the past fifteen minutes that you desperately tried to ignore. 

He didn't, of course. Why would he? 

You sighed, rolling your eyes as you took a sip of your drink, the booze burning as it went down. Definitely too much vodka. One of the men made a comment disgusting enough you fought the urge to hurl, your fingers curling around the chipped wood of the bar in an attempt to stop yourself from clawing their eyes out. 

You could feel their eyes on you, staring at the back of your head. 

With another pair of eyes. 

“Are those men bothering you doll?” the man asked calmly, making you jump. 

The eyes. 

The man from the motel was leaning against the counter, attempting to shield you from the catcallers, his large figure blocking you from seeing them. You realized just how large he truly was up close, almost needing to crane your head up to gaze at the stubble across his sharp jaw.

 “Yes, but I don't want to make a scene. Really, it's fine.” 

He shook his head, forehead creasing as he frowned. “No, it's not fine doll. C'mon, I can get you outta here, even if you just wanna go outside from some air. You’re safe with me.” 

You nodded, his smooth, silky voice wrapping you up in its embrace making you safe. His arm shrugged around your shoulder, comforting you as he guided you through the busy crowd towards the door. 

“Hey where ya goin sweets?” a voice called, making you shiver. “With her boyfriend, you cunt.” the man from the motel hissed, guiding you out the door, into the brisk cool night. 

You let out a breath out you didn't know you were holding, inhaling the fresh air like you were starved. “Thank you so much sir.” you said, finally finding the ability to work your vocal cords again. 

“Of course. You looked uncomfortable, and I hate seeing pretty girls like you uncomfortable.” he smiled softly, making you blush. 

“Can I get your name? If you don't mind… I like to know the names of the damsels I save.” he asked, making you laugh. “Y/N. You?” 

“Bucky.” You smiled, the name reminding you of birds chirping on a spring day. It was a gentle name, for a gentleman. “Bucky from 258?” 

He laughed, the sound echoing off the broken glass bottles that littered the ground. “The one and only.” 

You soon fell into an easy rhythm with the man, picking up a conversation that wasn't awkward. It was… natural. It was nice. You couldn't remember the last time you had shared that with a man. 

You weren't sure how much time had passed, the clouds threatening to cover the full moon that hung high in the sky grazing by. 

It was late, and it was cold. 

Bucky must have sensed your sudden discomfort, checking the golden watch that lingered on his wrist. “Hey, it's late. Why don't I get you back to the motel? I’ve only had a Black Cristal- I’m good to drive.” 

“No, no it's okay I can walk. I don't want to trouble you.” He shook his head, firmly grabbing your wrist to guide you over to the parking spot on the far side of the lot, where a black Harley was left, its handlebars gleaming. 

“And risk the chance of that happening again? No doll, I promise it's okay. You never know what kind of bad things lurk around here at night.” 

His wolfish smile made you shiver, pearly white teeth gleaming like the keys he jangled from his pocket in the pale moonlight. The hairs on your arms raised, goosebumps spreading across your skin as he revved the engine, the loud noise over trampling the muffled conversation and the electric guitar from the jukebox that trickled out of the rickety walls that had previously smothered you.

 It was all you could hear, your only option in this dusty, dingy parking lot. Your body moved on its own accord, your leg swinging over the bike, arms wrapping around Bucky's waist, his skin warm to the touch through the fabric of his t-shirt. 

“Drive slow will ya? I need my head still attached to my body by the end of this.” you teased, attempting to hide your fear as you clung to him tighter, his hands revving the throttle making your heart plummet as he eased out of the parking space. 

“Oh sweetheart, there’s one thing you should know about me. I don't do slow.” he laughed, the flickering street light reflecting the wink he threw back at you through the mirrors your only warning to brace yourself before he sped out onto the empty highway. 

The adrenaline was pumping through your veins as the clouds of dust and dirt sputtered up behind you, a laugh escaping your lips as you clung to the man tighter. 

It was an internal battle with yourself as you sat upon the black leather seat, hating yourself for enjoying this. This… unexpected freedom. You hated the relief you felt with this man, this stranger who had swept in to save you, to come to your rescue. 

You had known him for an hour, and you deep down it was wrong, oh so wrong to be so open, be so vulnerable with a stranger as charming as Bucky. You would already hear your father's cruel voice snapping at you for jumping the bones of a man you had just met. 

But wasn't that what made it more thrilling? 

The sense of freedom that chased after you, a horse clamoring to the finish line was something you hadn't felt in months. It was safe here, with Bucky. No endless running, no flinching anytime there was a knock at your door, a car pulling by a parking lot of any old motel you stayed at. 

There was only a calm, safe security on the back of his bike, whipping through your hair as he zoomed past the speed limit, much faster than the numbers that were plastered on it. 

Fire seemed to nip at your heels as his tires squealed against the pavement, making you howl in the night, head resting against his back as you clung onto him for dear life. 

The scent of his husky cologne and the whipping of the wind roaring in your ears was enough to shield you from the evil smirk that was plastered across Bucky’s face as he drove onwards into the darkness of the night.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You still sensed his eyes on you, wherever you went. Could still smell that expensive cologne that smelt of wealth and riches, reminding you of times that had been robbed from you. 

It had been a few days since your adventure with Bucky, but it was almost as if he never left your presence. He was a ghost during the hours of the day, but the second twilight rolled around- he was there. 

He was always there, back in that very spot you first saw him. You wondered where he went in the day. 

Did he have a wife and kids he needed to tend to? A job? 

The questions nagged at you, drowning you just as the bottle of liquor did that had found its place on the bedside table. He was handsome, and he seemed to have bank for his buck. His motorcycle certainly proved as evidence. 

So what was he doing in such a dingy motel? The question stuck with you as you pulled yourself back up from the bed, sheets slightly damp as your hair towel had unraveled itself from around your body. 

It was cold in this room when you weren't in the hot water from the shower that lasted approximately two minutes, the water droplets chilling you to the bone. 

Bucky wasn't at his place at the curtain tonight, despite it being late. You had been waiting for him all night, but he was a no-show. He seemed to appear at the times you least expected it- catching you off guard. 

You sighed, not interested and playing his games as you grew bored of waiting in your towel. It slipped off to the carpet below, and you stepped over to slide a baggy tee over your head. 

To your dismay, the bottle of brandy was empty- much like the rest of the motel room was, making you huff in defeat.

 I guess it was a Pepsi night after all. you thought, dragging your feet over to the nightstand, propping a cig in your mouth. The lighter flicked to life with a few clicks, and you made your way out the door, sliding the deadbolt from its place. 

The air was hot and heavy as you walked outside, humidity seeming to cling to your skin like leather. The smoke you exhaled puffed out to blend with the stickiness, and you pulled out the handful of change you had snatched before letting the door shut behind you. 

It was no booze, but it'd have to do for now. 

You honestly weren't even sure if you had enough money to buy another bottle, the pricey little scraps of nightgowns and cigarettes taking a chomp of your budget each month. 

You were tired, eyes heavy as you followed the dim humming of the old vending machine down the hall. Its bright, blinding lights drew the bugs to it, illuminating a pathway as you trailed after them, smoke still in hand. 

The machine was ancient, you were honestly surprised there were still cans in it. Vintage- of course, probably coke that still had literally crack in it. But honestly? You’d take what you could get. 

Propping the change in, you heard the coins fall to the bottom, but the drink remained. “Stupid fucker.” you growled, banging the machine harshly with your fist. Of course, it didn't work. 

Did anything in your life? 

A few kicks and many curse words later, the drink had fallen from its place into the slot, and you snatched it as if the machine would swallow it back up- your smoke long gone as you chugged it back. 

You finally made your journey back to the room, desperate to get out of the mugginess. You wondered if Bucky had finally returned to his room for the night, excited to see him in the window again. 

Would he be wearing the dark blue button-down you adored so much? Or the red henley? 

You were anxious to find out, hand reaching out to unlock the door. But something stopped you. 

Swim at 1? I’ll be waiting for you. -B 

The paper was taped to the door, fluttering gently in the breeze before you snatched it from the golden plated numbers. A smile dawned on your face, and you opened the door as quickly as you possibly could. 

The ticking of the antique clock showed it was quarter to 1, and it seemed to follow you as you grabbed your bathing suit, heading into the bathroom to slip it on. 

Mocking you. 

Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Hurry up. Hurry up. 

You fixed up your hair, despite knowing it’d get ruined later before you snatched a towel from the rack, slipping on flip-flops the best you could with haste. 

The clicking of your sandals bounced off the cement as you heard your door shut behind you, automatically locking you out. You paid no mind as you headed on your way, squeaking of the shoes echoing down the corridor, mixing in with the chirps of the crickets under the full moon. 

The pool was behind the motel, hidden away in a little alcove by the bushes. It was quiet and dimmed, only a few odd lights illuminating the space. You felt goosebumps form, the hair on your arms rising as you pushed the gate open. 

The creak seemed like a howl as it reverberated through the air eerily. It clanged shut, a voice following it making you jump. 

“Hello again, you.” his voice whispered down your spine, emerging from the shadows. “You scared me!” you confessed, hand over your thudding heart as a means to soothe it. 

“Did I now doll?” he teased, and you couldn't help but drool as he stepped into the spotlight, water droplets running from his hair down his toned chest. 

“You went in without me?” 

“Just to see if the water was warm enough.” he winked, making you smile as he reached out a hand- one that you happily took. It was warm and soft despite the night's chill, and you squeezed it out of comfort. 

Bucky was safe. He had taken care of you at that bar, and he always looked out for you, even if it was from a distance. You trusted him, oddly enough. 

That didn't come easy for a girl like you. 

You dropped your towel, fully vulnerable to him in your little red bikini as you watched him step down, falling back into the water. You shoke your head as he nudged you to come in, sitting on the second step and swirling the water with your feet much more your style.

 “Um, Bucky?” You were cautious to ask him such a simple, but stupid question in your mind, worried if he would judge you. “Yes starlet?” 

“I don't mean for this to sound intrusive but.. where do you go during the day? I only ever see you around here at night.” 

He smiled softly. “It's not intrusive at all. I don't mind. I have a job that requires me to rather.. look after people. Making sure they're safe.” he replied, the stern look in his eyes telling you he was advancing with his story any further. 

You didn't want to pry anymore. 

“What about you?”

 “What about me? Where do I go during the day?” you asked, and he nodded.

 “I don't do much or go anywhere anymore. I used to though.” you replied, watching the water ripple as your legs sprawled out, feeling weightless as they floated. “What would you do?” 

Scam men. Take their cash, until my ex-boyfriend stole it all and left me with no one and nothing. 

You sighed, watching his eyes widen with curiosity, seeming intrigued by your silence. You couldn't tell him the truth, obviously. He’d have you tossed away in the county jail behind the old, rusty bars you shuttered at each time you had visited your father in the years prior. 

So you did what you always did. Lied. 

“I had an office job, one I couldn't stand if I’m being honest with you. So I left, and well..” 

“Found yourself here?” You nodded. “Exactly. Now I’m here, swimming with a man I barely know, drinking cheap Pepsi and smoking shit cigarettes.” you laughed as Bucky swam closer to you, his hand grazing your thigh.

 “Is that such a bad thing? We have so much time to get to know each other sweetheart. Endless amounts.” he smirked, panting a little kiss to your thigh and the water droplets stuck to it. 

You welcomed it with open arms, feeling your chest expand as you leaned forward towards him. “Should we cheers to that? With shitty Pepsi?” 

“I got something even better.” he laughed, water splashing as he stepped out of the pool, dripping a trail down onto the concrete as he walked to fish something from his bag he left on the plastic recliners. 

Glass clinked as he pulled out two whisky glasses, and a bottle of bourbon to match. You clapped in delight, his back turning once more as he set them down, pouring little amounts into each cup. 

“I don't have any ice but I hope this does the trick.” he smiled, jogging back over to sit with you upon the step. “It's perfect. Better than vending machine shit.” you joked, giggling as he raised his glass up. 

“Cheers to us- meeting. And vending machine shit.” 

“Cheers!” 

Clink! The booze was bitter as you swigged it back, burning your taste buds as you let out a little cough. 

“That shit is strong.” you gasped, shaking your head as if that would help it go down better. Bucky's eyebrows rose as he slowly sipped his, setting the glass down next to yours. 

“But hey, you drank it! Good girl.” he exclaimed, nudging your shoulder. 

Good girl. Damn him for taping into your praise kink. 

“I think we best stick to fruitier drinks if we're going to be drinking during dates. From now on, it's a club rule.” 

“A date eh?” 

You shrugged, trying to act as if his charming persona wasn't getting under your skin. 

“I mean, what else would this be? People go on dates to get to know each other. And I wanna know you Bucky.” 

A gust of wind blew through the air, ratting the tree leaves as you shivered, his hand slipping into yours to give it a reassuring squeeze. “I know. Let's start in the pool, okay?”

 “Buts it freeing in there.” you complained, watching in awe as he dipped his body back in, as if the chill didn't have a single effect on him. 

“I’ll keep you warm doll. I promise.” His arms reached out, encouraging you to get in them, to wrap your body against his larger build like a teddy bear. “You promise?” 

“First thing about me sweetheart, is that I would never lie to you. C'mon, you're safe with me.” 

He had protected you last time when no one else had. Listen to him Y/N. You know you want to. 

You nodded, hissing as the water brushed against you the deeper you sank, arms reaching out towards him as you submerged fully into the water. Your teeth chattered, Bucky's large arms scooping you up as you clung closer to him. 

“There we go. See, it’s not so bad.” 

“It's pretty bad. You're just saying that to make me feel better.” you shivered, his body shaking from his loud chuckle. “Maybe I am. But nonetheless, you listened to me. Didn’t you?” 

Yes. Of course I did. 

“We’ll get out soon. I just wanted an excuse to see you in that adorable bathing suit.” he confessed, making you roll your eyes, burying your face into his neck as he swayed you. 

“Smartie pants. I could have just shown you in my room. Where there is no freezing pool water.” you growled. 

“You can still show me in your room after this, if you'd like.” Your heartbeat quickened, beating so fast he could feel it thumping against his chest at his words.

 “You'd like that, wouldn't you sweetheart? Hmm?” he looked down at you, teasing you. 

“Maybe I would.” you confessed shyly, fighting the urge to nibble his skin, breathing in his cologne again. “But I still don't know anything about you. It'd be pretty dumb for me to invite a man to my room if I didnt at least know his favorite animal.”

 “Cats.” he smiled softly. “Long haired ones- to be exact. I'm a Pieces, and I drink my coffee with one cream, no sugar. Lord of the Rings is one of the best book seres ever made, and white lace is my favorite on you.” 

You were stunned. 

Well you sure as hell weren't expecting that. 

“Really? The white lace?” 

“It makes you look so dainty and delicate. Like an angel.” he breathed, his compliments making you more excited by the minute. The sudden urge, primal and needy took over your body, your head seeming to get cloudy as it became harder and harder to think. 

The air seemed even mugger then it was before, its stretch lingering of Buckys cologne. It was intoxicating. You weren't sure where this sudden need came from, but it was all you could feel. 

Tingles erupted on your body as the water brushed against your thighs, Bucky's hand coming up to stroke your hair. 

“Bucky? Don’t you feel it's a bit… warm out here now?” you asked,, confused as you felt sweat linger at your temple. “Weren't you just saying how cold it was and how you wanted to leave?” he joked, holding you closer to him as he slowly walked over towards the side of the pool. 

Yea, yea I know. Is just now…. it's getting hard to think. I'm not sure whats going on.” you confessed, watching as the jets started to kick on, bubbling against your thigh. 

“Well, you gotta use that dumb little girl brain to tell me what you need okay? So that way I can help you, and we can get you feeling all better.” he reassured, his words making you dizzy. 

“M’just- It's so tingly. I don't even know…” you trailed off, feeling woozy. 

“That's okay doll. Just set your hands on the side of the pool and hang on real tight mkay?” he helped place your hands on the concrete, smiling as you obeyed. 

“There we go, atta girl. You're just feeling a lil funny so I'm gonna take all the funny feelings away. I'll get you feeling all better okay?” he murmured, an arm wrapped around your abdomen to hold you in place as his fingers started to pull down your bottoms.

 “Bucky please.. please help me-” 

“Shh, shh be nice and quiet for Daddy okay? You just gotta take what I give you, just remember I’m helping you.” he cooed softly, tossing your bottoms somewhere else amongst the pool, watching them float away as he had you under his control.

 “I think the drink.. was too strong..” you panted, hand leaving the concrete to briefly squeeze your breast through the thin bikini fabric, nipples hardened and tender as they poked through. 

“Too much for a poor thing like you to handle.” he smirked, fingers slipping down under the water to pull apart your folds to expose your little bundle of nerves, all swollen and puffy. 

“I feel- I feel-” you stuttered, throat seeming clogged as you fought to find the words, head lolling back with a mona as Bucky adjusted your clit against the throbbing jet. 

“You're being so good for me sweetheart. I know, I know it's so much but this is what you need okay? You need this.” His voice seemed to itch the insides of your brain, dusting at the cobwebs as you rolled your eyes back, lost in pleasure. 

It was overwhelming, the shocks that jolted throughout your body as the powerful bubbles hit you.Bucky helped you down helplessly as you squirmed and whined, your body feeling as if it would simply combust at the seams. 

“Bucky-” 

“Shush angel. It's just so difficult isn't it? Having those pent-up feelings?” he asked rhetorically, knowing you were much too far gone to answer. His fingers slipped inside your aching hole, and your walls clenched around him as you sucked him in. 

“That's the spot. There we go, I know baby, daddy knows.” he smiled as you whimpered, drool beginning to seep from your lips as you babbled inherently, the sex pollen Bucky had slipped in your drink taking ahold. 

Not that you realized- of course.

 “Please mgh-” Your walls tightened around him, muscles spasming as he played you like an instrument, wrist flicking and twisting as he brushed your insides.

 “Who's my good girl? Hmm? Who's my pretty little angel?” 

“I am!” you moaned, cumming on his fingers with a cry, the pressure in your body snapping- unable to take anymore. Your orgasm rocked through you, vision spotting as Bucky cooed sweet praises in your ears. 

They sounded muffled, like he had sunken you under the water. Your grip loosened on the concrete, nails scratching the smoothed surface as you felt the waves of sleep pull you under into the darkness.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was cold again once you woke.

 The fire that sizzled in your core had gone out, embers no longer crackling as you felt the chill air from the air conditioner blast on your skin. Your throat ached, vision blurry as you blinked them open from sleep. 

The room was dim, a small bedside table lamp lit beside you. It looked almost identical to your room, the familiar eyes even here as you slowly regained consciousness. 

Had you passed out and Bucky had brought you back to your room? 

You went to sit up, but something had jolted your body back. Something rubbed your wrists as you jerked, and you winced in pain as you looked down at the bounds that secured your arms in place. 

Then it hit you. 

You were drugged. Bucky had slipped something in your drink. 

Fear swallowed you whole, and you croaked out a scream as you thrashed. Bucky came darting out from the closed bathroom door, eyes dark as he stormed over to you, hand covering your mouth to muffle the sound. 

“There she is! Finally awake at last.” 

You whimpered, whining into his palm as he pinned you down, stooping your useless fighting. “Shh, shh you have to stay quiet sweetheart. No more noise, or I’ll have to do something I really, really dont wanna do.” he sighed, shaking his head in disappointment as tears spilled from the corners of your eyes.

 “I’m going to remove my hand, but you gotta stay quiet. Got it?” You nodded, too frightened to fight him. He slowly removed his hand, revealing your parted lips that were clamped shut, your eyes frantically scanned the room. 

Photos of you were taped across the back wall, scribbles and lines drawn all across it like a maze. You shuddered, looking at the dozens of candids taken of you, dated back to your scamming days.

 Who was this man? And how long had he been watching you? 

“Who.. who are you Bucky?” you whispered, heartbeat racing faster and faster by the second. “

Your guardian.” he said cooly, as if stalking you and having you bound to a bed was an everyday occurrence for him .

It probably was. You weren't sure what to believe anymore. 

A second bed was placed beside you, though no one occupied that one. You looked at him with horror, making him chuckle dryly as he sat back in the bed, hand coming up to brush a stray hair from your face.

 “Don’t look at me like that angel. You know you'd be dead if it weren't for me? You should be thanking me.” he expressed, trying to soothe your anxiety. 

“What do you mean?” you asked timidly, fingers gripping onto the rope that secured you down, trying to fight back the fight or flight response that was kicking into overdrive. 

“I know what you've done to people angel. I’ve known for so long now. Do you know how many powerful people wanted you dead? They could have ended your little doe-eyed frame in a second. I couldn't let a pretty little thing like you die.” he murmured, a small smile blooming across his face as he looked over at his board with accomplishment.

”They all wanted you dead kitten. I couldn't let my little girl go through something like that.” 

“I just..- I don’t understand Bucky.” you wept, tears salty as they ran down your cheeks. 

“I know you don’t angel, I wasn't expecting you to. Still too dumb for that. But I have all the time in the world to show you how much you mean to me.”

 “All the time in the world? Bucky I have to go back-” He growled, pinning your hands back down as you struggled to get up, uncontrollably sobbing. 

“No, no don’t you see? Your mine now.”

 “Ours, now Buck.” a voice called from the shadows, the shock burning through your body holding you as still as a statue in his arms. 

Bucky stepped out from the shadows, except it wasn't really Bucky. 

Bucky was coaxing you down upon his bed as the second man stepped out. 

“Don’t get it twisted Steve. I saw her first, therefore she's mine.”

 It was then you realised this man, identical down to the bold, blue eyes that stared down at you in your dreams, was wearing the dark blue button-up you adored. 

Bucky wore the red henley that drove you insane at night, that had caused your hand to dip down between your legs in the odd hours of the night.

 “Twins.” Bucky responded to your unspoken question, rolling his eyes at Steve, who stood watching you as he leaned against the wall-  smirk plastered on his face as his arms crossed against his chest. 

You gulped, throat dry and hoarse despite all the tears that had fallen to your lips, wetting them slightly.

 “C'mon Bucky boy. Pets can have multiple owners, don’t you remember this?” 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@buckysboobs​ i luv u

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fic #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes smut #bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x fluff #bucky barnes x female oc #bucky barnes x smut #bucky barnes x original female character #james barnes #james barnes x reader #james barnes fluff #james barnes x y/n #james barnes x female reader #james barnes x you #the winter solider imagine #the winter solider smut #the winter solider #the winter solider fanfiction #the winter solider x reader #the winter soldier #bucky smut #bucky x y/n #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan smut

[dearabby1990]

Chapter 1 Can I help you?

Today was the start of a lot of firsts and new things for you. You left New Jersey to get away from your toxic father. After your mother passed of cancer you father became a bitter shell of his former self. Blaming everything wrong on you & making you feel less then human for even breathing. You couldn’t take it anymore feeling as if the weight of the world was crushing you. You decided one day to pin a map to your bedroom wall you spun twice & threw at dart at the map promising yourself wherever it landed is where you’d be going. So that’s why you’re here now in Hawkins Indiana working stocking the new dock martins that just came in next hanging all the new jackets that came in today. Nearing your lunch break you couldn’t be more excited to eat and catch a cigarette. The moment you were about to go you here the bell of the door. Not looking up you speak to the customer “welcome to zipperheads is there anything I can help you with today?” You hear the person walk forward no reply you lift your head to see the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen in your life. Brown eyes that looked like warm pools of caramel and Amber his dimples as he smiled at you his long curly hair falling perfectly around the frame of his face. You felt like the air had been sucked out of your lungs. “Hey there pretty girl I don’t know could you help me I’m looking for a new pair of jeans and some new boots” pretty girl?? Oh he’s laying it on thick but who are you to complain when such a gorgeous creature gives you a compliment . “Sure right this way we have fitting rooms in the back to the right just give me your measurements & I’ll pull some stuff for you to try and pull out our boots for you to take a look at” he smiled as he followed behind you you gesture to a chair for him to sit he does willingly smiling watching you as your fingers run across the hanger’s grabbing items and looking at him with the smallest smile each time. Finally coming back with a handful of items “Okay here you are sir go ahead and try them out and if you need anything else I’ll be right over there getting some boots together for you” you smile up at him and he looks at you with confusion. “Uh.. umm sir??.. no please that makes me feel so old you can call me Eddie by the way I didn’t catch your name??..” you cheeks are burning red in embarrassment. “Oh my… I’m so sorry! I feel like an ass!” You huff out in frustration that you just made yourself look a fool “Jamie but my friends call me Jame” you say extending your hand to shake his. He smiles at you & you get lost in his eyes for a moment why does he have to be so damn beautiful?! “I love your name pretty name for a pretty lady” oh my he’s definitely flirting you can’t help but giggle. You scurry to the back to get him some men’s size 13 boots he steps out of the dressing room in one of the jeans you picked for him he looks at you with this softness to his eyes then smiles “wow I really like these they fit great you have a good eye” you giggle “what can I say I know my clothes & they look amazing on you turn around let me make sure they’re a good fit” he smiles and dramatically spins for you as if he’s a model on display “you checkin me out princess?” Your face feels like it’s on fire & he doesn’t fail to notice it. “So um.. I don’t wanna be to forward but do you like… have a… boyfriend or anything?..” your eyes go wide words fail to register what your mind wants to say he looks nervous “look I’m sorry I didn’t mean to..” you cut him off “NO! I mean no I don’t have a boyfriend” you look even more of a bundle of nerves now. He laughs “Okay so would it be alright if I asked you to goto a movie Saturday maybe grab a bite to eat?.. I mean if you want to that is?” You couldn’t believe it excitement ran through your veins this gorgeous man wanted to take you out and who were you to tell him no. “I’d really like that Eddie” he fist bumped the air before quickly recovering smiling at you. “Okay cool & I’ll definitely be taking those jeans and that black pair of boots on your left thanks for your help princess”

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #joseph quinn

[muggle-born-princess]

Lessons Miraculous Ladybug Taught Me:

It's okay to stalk someone or be creepy around them as long as you're female and have trauma to excuse it.

If you hit on someone and they tell you no multiple times, keep hitting on them regardless! Eventually, they'll come around to you.

White blonde rich girls are always racist, even if they say something out of ignorance. Oh, and if one of their supporters is an implied racist themselves, that confirms that they're indeed a racist. (Despite the fact that you can't control your followers/supporters)

It's okay to cheat on your spouse and have a child from that affair. Especially if you were in a different city and you never once brought up said child.

Grown men that abuse or neglect their kids? You can easily forgive them! 14 year old girl that's an asshole for being a brat and having mommy issues? Worse than Putin/Satan/Hitler/Stalin!

If you're a sentimonster, commit genocide and stalk a girl all you want! You'll redeem no matter what! Oh and bonus points if you were abused as a child as well.

It's never the parents' fault if their kid grows up with entitlement issues.

Plus, if your kid is a spoiled brat, don't realize that you were the problem, force them to live with their abusive relative! That will show them!

Lying to your parents to stalk a boy in a different country is a-okay as long as you tell them it's for your family roots.

Trauma excuses males and nice people only. Never females; well only the nice girls are excused.

Always believe a girl you just met not even a day ago over your best friend that you know longer than life itself.

If you're in a toxic friendship, don't stand up to yourself or leave them to realize that they were a shitty person! Wait until they replace you with someone else to do it!

Teachers suck when it comes to handling bullies. Instead, they'll victim blame you and expect you to do their job for them.

It's okay to pull a traumatic prank on a girl who is in love with you. You'll eventually get a girlfriend.

And when you do get a girlfriend, tell her that some other girl is prettier than her in front of her own face.

Rich White Boy wanting to kiss a POC girl without her will and her POC best friend is holding her hands to let this happen? What a great comedy!

A girl's trauma is hilarious until her bully was the cause of it to begin with.

Rich white men are much redeemable and easier to forgive than rich white women.

Your friend is acting creepy and stalkerish towards their crush? Help them explore that behavior even more!

Strangled by the Red String is always the Number One ship no matter what.

The creator making a self insert of himself just to stroke his ego for pity points is a good idea.

It's okay to leave your twin sister (we retconed this moment because what we gonna go about it) and your mom alone and go travel with your father who abandon you and your sibling in the childhood.

You want to murder a bunch of people based on race? That's fine! At least you're not bullying someone!

And if you find a girl who happens to be in your race, who changes your mind on genocide? Wonderful! That totally makes up for attempting to kill people!

Terrorizing people and abusing your family is fine as long as you love someone!

If you've hurt a bunch of people, that's fine because you can just reverse it all, and it'd be as though nothing happened!

Tell me if I'm missing something. ^_^

#ml salt #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #mlb salt

[conscbgb]

I came across this video where Taeyong was explaining the inspiration behind the song "Love is a Beauty" and what he said left me with a deep sadness...for him...for all of them because I think the situation is more or less the same for them all...

We know how the k-pop industry works (and we know it sucks) but listen to a grown up, talented, hard working, brilliant, caring man of 28 years old saying that he "actually don't know about love" should make you think...especially their fans...what he, all 9 of them, give up in the name of their dream are 2 of the most important things that we are gifted in life : Love & Freedom.

And it's something that when you are 17 yo you can endure, you tell yourself "It's ok! I wanna become this or that...it's a big sacrifice but it's my dream"...when you are 28 you endure it anyway but...it's different...

The Love they get from their families, real friends, band mates,working team, fans is a totally different thing from the love you get from that 1 right person for you, that one who loves the REAL you, the natural and "imperfect" YOU, who support you anyway, your "Ride or Die" together, not because you are a worldwide famous singer/artist and the allure that comes with it!

Part of the reason they are forced to put Love in stand-by is because of the fans (the toxic/psycho ones obv) because God forbid if the news of one of them dating gets out! All the hate they receive...the company who rush to explain that the news is not true while going to repremend that poor one who was "caught" goin' out 🙈 and all of this for what?? They are grown men, they should be able to live their lives and that little free time they have in the best possible way for them!

But it doesn't work that way...their freedom is put on hold too! And not only because the company exploit them and their talent as much as they can, making them work literally 24/7 365 days a year especially during the promoting season, they can't use their freedom in absolute private matters too... like getting a tattoo! They can't get a tattoo without fans "consent": it's literally their skin!! What do you mean they should ask fans before do it?? Fu€k it!! I would tattoo my whole body like Michael Scofield just to piss those "fans" off 🤣

They can't smoke...thank God they "limit" themselves with smoke because with all the pressure the company/audience/themselves put upon their beings I would be high all the time just to get throught it...

The way they can't almost interact with women in front of cameras (or in general because they are literally haunted from stalkers) it's insane in my opinion and the company should take action more often to protect them! And it's equally shocking the fact they can't interact the way they really want between them (band mates) because if one of them look or talk in a certain way to the one he is not "shipped" with from fans ➡️ hate

This album and tour mean a lot to them and to us because we know what is gonna happen starting from next year...so please: let the guys enjoy this experience to the fullest! Support them! Let them Live! RESPECT THEM! They deserve it 🙏😉

Video credit @neocrushtech on TT

#lee taeyong #taeyong nct #nct 127 #yuta nakamoto #mark lee #nct jungwoo #doyoung nct #moon taeil #haechan #johnny suh #nct jaehyun #kpop

[bakugotrashpanda]

Toxic

Dabi x Reader Word Count: 850

!!: Toxic abusive relationship, manipulation

You don’t even know what started it. Was it running from the police for the fifth time that week? Was it coming back to the rotting apartment you called ‘home’? Or maybe it was the fact that Dabi ignored you again as soon as he walked in the door. 

Whatever the cause, the result was now the two of you at each other’s throats hashing out old arguments. No one would intervene. No one would tell you to shut up. In this shitty apartment complex, there was always something to turn a blind eye to.

“You think I want to be here?” you shout, following Dabi as he stands flat against a wall and looks out the window to the street below. “Living in shit holes like this? Always on the run?”

“You can leave anytime you want, Princess,” he mutters, shrinking into the shadows just a bit more as a group of men scoured the streets below.

“Maybe I will!” 

“Yeah? And where are your friends now, hm? Where are they? Go ahead. Call them up. Tell them you’ve made a big mistake. That you need to get away from your mean old boyfriend. See how many of them will help you.”

Your jaw clenches. He’s right and you know it. They turned their backs on you. Didn’t want to be ‘associated’ with your boyfriend. And that turned into not wanting to see you. Ever. There were only so many times you could make an effort and hear excuses before you gave up all together. They’re probably glad you’re gone. 

“They weren’t really your friends. They won’t take care of you. Not like I do. You were a bench warmer for them,” Dabi shrugs. “Someone they had waiting on the sides when they needed to feel better about themselves.” You shake your head slightly, as if that would erase your memories of before.

Dabi continues. “You may have been around them, but they didn’t accept you as one of them. And they replaced you,” he pauses. His lips twist into a cruel smile. You suck in a deep breath, waiting for the bombshell. “With someone better. Someone they actually liked.”

The truth stung. Your old friends had replaced you. Quickly. And Dabi made sure you knew that you were replaceable. By anyone. At any time. 

Blood boiling in your veins, you can’t help but lash out. “Better to be accepted as a bench warmer than know I’m a fucking cast off piece of trash my father didn’t want or need anymore.” Your voice rings through the barren apartment.

He doesn’t hit you or get in your face and scream back. Instead he leans against the wall and raises an eyebrow. “You think you can make it? Crawl back to your cushy life from before? Go. Get out of here. I won’t try to stop you. You wouldn’t make it a day.” Defiantly, you pick up your coat with as much dignity as you can and storm over to the front door. True to his word, he doesn’t stop you. In fact, all he does is pull out a cigarette pack from his back pocket and light one up. “But don’t think I’ll wait around to pick up the pieces when you fail.” Your hand falters on the doorknob. He wouldn’t either. Dabi doesn’t make empty threats like that.

He saunters over to you, boots thudding against the ground. There isn’t any room to open the door now. He tilts your head towards his and examines you with cold and calculating turquoise eyes. A cloud of smoke covers your face as he exhales. “I already see the fear in your eyes. You’re trying to be brave, but I can see it. You have nothing. No one.” His hand shifts to the column of your neck. Long fingers press against the sides. “Except me.” 

Your breaths labor to make it into your body and your head spins. He’s right. He’s always right. “Dabi,” you whisper.

Defeat.

You’ll never leave him. He knows it. He knows that you know. Maybe if you had connections, you would make it and ‘crawl back’ as he so astutely put it, but down here? In the underbelly of the city where everyone throws their problems and ignores what happens? No one would help you. Everyone knows you belong to Dabi and if it were a choice between your neck or their own, they’d save theirs every single time. The only one looking out for you is him.

His grip loosens slightly, just enough that a roar of blood rushes to and from your head. His lips ghost over yours. All you can do is part your lips and hope that he gives you what you want – what you crave. 

“I love it when you hurt.” You can feel his smirk when he finally captures your lips with his. You cling to him in silent prayer that he’ll never leave you. 

I love it when you do it.

#dabi #dabi x reader #toxic relationship #manipulation #tw abuse #have more garbage coming from my brain #writing

[oh-soo-diabolik]

Hello again! So I wanted to ask beforehand because I wanted to request a certain pathetic... Attention starved depresso of a vampire Ritcher. This is a nonromantic ask btw.

Imagine if, while in the early stages of being obsessed with Cordelia and still had a way out (hard to believe, I know but IMAGINE) he was attacked ked by a small group of vampire hunters from a church. Goes to the church, wrecks havoc and while doing so finds a little boy primary school age nonverbal in the basement. When he checks it out, all the other church members were killed and the child is dirty, wearing what amounts to a potato sack.

He quickly reduces the child was abused and neglected and this stunted the child's growth with 🌟religious trauma🌟

Ultimately he takes the bab in and raises him, practically spoiling the child in what ways he wasn't and his brother was. When the child sees that Cordelia's a bitch, Ritcher eventually drops her because she's toxic and caught her abusing his adopted child the way she does Ayato.

Basically I'm asking for soft head canons or short little blurb of Ritcher being a good dad and learning that "omg love can be precious."

Father Figure!Richter

A/N: I rushed this because I didn’t want to keep you waiting 😭 but i will definitely write more content for him 🩵

Remember guys my inbox is open! 🥹🩵

His eyes watch as she dances with her beloved husband.

Richter hated his brother, the good for nothing man he called his brother, KarlHeinz.

“My dear husband, you’re the one who completes me.” she mutters to KarlHeinz. Richter sucks his teeth in response, consumed by the feeling of jealousy.

He stalks towards the entrance of the manor and exists.

The cold bitter air greets him, he needed space, he couldn’t bear facing the bewitched woman named Cordelia, and her wish-washy ways. She didn’t care for him, per se, she just wanted fun.

There he begins his journey into the forest, he continues to walk before approaching a large church, there it stands with pride and beauty, taunting him with their ill faith in a man who doesn’t exist. But what did humans know anyway?

The sound of a child whimpers catches his attention. He teleports to the source of the cause, appearing in front of a boy no older than the age of seven or eight years old.

He was skinny, and frail, his hair was unkept, and he stinks. As if he was left for dead, the older vampire peers down to the boys level.

“What happened?” Richter questions, he waits for the boy’s response but to no avail. “Speak child.” he says more firmly.

“They told me to be a good boy, t-they said it’s what God wants.” he finally replies, Richter’s ruby colored eyes stares down at the boy.

As if he almost felt guilty?

“Get up, come with me, child.” He orders, he watches as the boy struggles to stand, but nothing surprised him more than what he did next. The sudden feeling of the boy holding his shirt for support, catches him at bay. His cold being felt something he hasn’t felt before, he felt responsible. Responsibility of caring for this child.

“Shall I carry you?” He questions, the sounds of men shouting and yelling causes him to turn to face them.

“Step away from the child, Vampire.” An old man snares, gripping the stake at hand.

Truth be told, Richter was tired, tired of dealing with selfish people, first the damned woman Cordelia and then his brother and now these lowlife vampire hunters.

“Your stakes have no effect on me, I will take my leave and I will be taking the child with me.” he replies, as he picks up the child and vanishes.

“Dammit! That fucking bastard took him.” another man says.

“After him, you fucking idiots.” another man shouts, the men grunt in response as they start on their journey into the world of the unknown.

The boy grips Richter’s shirt, “Worry less, you shall be safe with me.” He mutters the boy could only nod in response.

Richter knew, from this day, he would risk his life to ensure that child was safe. Even if it meant killing His own blood and the townspeople, along with that damned woman.

He finally felt a purpose, protect the unprotected. Even if it meant losing his life.

#richter sakamaki #diabolik lovers fandom #dialovers #request #admin a #ayato sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #laito sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #sakamaki brothers #subaru sakamaki #diabolik lovers #shu sakamaki #shuu sakamaki #cordelia sakamaki

[alyjojo]

March 🌞 2024 Monthly - Taurus

Preshuffle: You’ve been going over something in your head, why someone won’t work with you, cooperate with you, why are they being unfair to you? I’m getting it’s not even about you, or it’s just unfair. Some people suck sometimes, and that’s all there is to it. But you’ve carried this with you for a long time and have either reached a new perspective as you’ve healed, or that’s the goal now. Could be regarding a parent.

Meditation: Your door was on the hill of a beautiful meadow, pretty white flowers all over the ground, and a lamb outside of the door. There was a baby something too, I can’t remember what, another lamb perhaps. Inside your door, there was a snarling lion 🦁 in mid leap, I just screamed and slammed the door. I think the saying is “in like a lion out like a lamb”, but here it’s switched.

Main energy: Page of Wands

For some this is gonna be really deep, for some it’s work, and for others it’s more like a refreshing self-care moment. Page of Wands clarified by The Star is a giddy excitement, you definitely know yourself and the path you’re meant to be on, it fills you up with joy and happiness. *Now* because you’ve probably been through a lot of shit, it’s shown you’ve healed from that. No matter which lane this goes down for you, you’re excited for your future, in a happy and growth centered way. You can see how you’ve changed over the years and like where this is going, directing things towards even more healthy outcomes with Organization and Order, you are the one in charge of your life and how this goes. I don’t see toxic or control, just earth energy, abundance, The Empress, it’s beautiful. The Emperor is at the bottom and marriage is here too, some of you are married, some might be getting married, some are just healing from a past marriage or parents’, maybe children, and it’s over with, some phase of life is anyway. You’re still moving along beautifully, excited for what comes next.

What’s going on in March:

6 Cups rev:

You’ve healed from very painful things in the past, we all have them. Temporary connections, people that moved, people that changed, things we had to leave behind or things that left us behind. Probably several. Ace of Pentacles clarifies showing real potential, a solid opportunity for something, and Page of Wands can show communication. This could be a really healing sort of conversation that brings closure to some things, either with an old friend or a matriarch in the family, mother/aunt/grandmother etc. You could be healing wounds you didn’t even know still existed. For some this could be a spouse or ex spouse. If a marriage is ending, or has, you’re not pressed anymore, Relaxation and The Empress both show you know your worth, so someone either fits with you or they don’t, or didn’t, it doesn’t change how you’re growing, or you’re grateful in the ways it has.

For work, you probably got screwed over in the past, had to heal from a job that didn’t work out for whatever reason, or you didn’t get that opportunity you had your heart set on. But then something else came, or something else is coming, Ace of Pentacles, that is going to make you see why it’s better *this* way. You’re excited for it, you can see limitless options now, or you will in March 🌺

7 Cups:

Limitless potential! You could be confused about which path to take, but you’re excited nonetheless. Ace of Wands & Page of Pentacles clarify, you’re excited to plan - heavy earth energy here. You may not know exactly what goes where and how or when you’re gonna do xyz, there’s a lot of planning to be done. But this is a new beginning you have reason to feel a fire 🔥 relit under your butt, you’re motivated, inspired, and I’m hearing SpongeBob yelling out “I’m READY!” 😆 Page of Wands again at the bottom, something has shown you your purpose, maybe not the details but you’ve got Organization & Order, both earth energies, I think you’ll be fine sorting through those cups.

5 Wands rev:

You could be mending fences with someone you’ve fallen out with, if there’s been an argument or standoff with someone, that’s healing. Some of you are simply refusing to deal with jealous or competitive types of personalities, The Empress is a glow up, she’s beautiful, worth the effort, and knows it. It’s not beauty in a way that’s in your face, she just is, male or female, you’re dressing how you want, looking how you want, maybe buying new clothes or changing your hair, getting a new tattoo, or lip injections if that’s your thing, or just working out and working on your health & body, all beauty related things can fall under Empress territory. You don’t care how it’s perceived, and if that’s negative it’s like “now you know” - avoid that person. Unhealed. Petty. You’ve healed a lot of things privately, spiritually, inwardly, and you keep it to yourself. If not beauty, this can be a mother figure of some kind, or even your own children if they exist, you could come across a situation that triggers an old wound you’re healing from, or are realizing you already have. Things are different now, better. Work related things where competition is the vibe, isn’t your thing. You don’t chase after that (or anything) but you allow what’s meant for you to meet you when it’s time, and you’ll accept this Ace of Pentacles opportunity you’re being given.

The World:

It’s beautiful 🥹 Best reading this month so far (I’ve only done three but it’s hard to beat). The World is the end of a whole cycle, could just be an argument, could be competitive vibes with someone or feeling insecure or like you have to be something you’re not, no. Self Care is at the bottom of the oracles, you’re not giving to anything that’s not giving to you, and you’re not reciprocating toxic bs either - you’ll just walk away, remove yourself, 8 Cups. You deserve better than that. What does give to you, healthy emotions, actual gifts maybe, support, kindness, your cheerleaders, you’ll just take all of that love & double it, triple it, turn it into gold - that’s what The Empress does. Birthing creativity, art, business growth and ideas (or kids) into reality, growing and beautifying what exists into even better than it was.

The Empress:

Clarified by THE 👏 MFN 👏 SUN 👏 byeeee Taurus, you don’t even need me here 🧡 You’ve learned the lesson/s. Some of you are even discussing some of the things you’ve been through, observed, struggled with, bringing light to the pain you’ve endured and overcome. All with positive intent, especially for those healing a connection of some kind. Idk about the other person/s involved, you’re doing your part to be positive and do right by you, attempt healing something that’s fallen out or someone that’s acted out perhaps, shining light on issues for the purpose of growth. Could be a parent, grandparent, child, childhood friend, school mate, spouse, whoever. Some of you are getting the positive attention you’ve worked for and deserve, maybe even a promotion or some financial benefit, I don’t see you having to do much to even get this. You know your worth and so do others, your flowers are coming 💐

Signs you may be dealing with:

Taurus, Scorpio, Leo, Libra & Aquarius

Oracle: ✨

18 It’s All Good 😌

Every experience you have in your lifetime has the potential to be a teaching tool. By remembering and embracing this idea, the situations you encounter become less fraught with unneeded emotion and drama. By not attaching labels or expectations for people and situations, you allow the pure divine energy to flow unimpeded. While you have little control over what happens to you at times, you always have control over how you react. Do you react on an impulse? Strike out at others when you feel hurt? Do you crawl into your safe place when the world seems mean and hurtful? Face this challenge in your life head on. Be thankful for the opportunity to experience whatever it is that is happening. Set yourself a goal of learning from every situation in your life. Find that silver lining. It’s there.

Marriage 💍

Sweet Love - Couple - Dependency

Relaxation 😌

Peace - Tranquility - Easiness

Organization - Mercury Capricorn

We enter into March as:

Rhonda Rhino of Amethyst 🦏:

“The road to divinity is paved in forgiveness.”

The true essence of Rhonda is that her dreams came true because she never harbored resentment, this card is about forgiveness. Because she didn’t take her mother’s suffering personally, she didn’t have to work it out. There is a lightness to staying reasonably detached from another’s anger & pain. We only need to forgive ourselves if we have judged others. Rhonda focuses on what her dream is, not what others have done to her, she is the essence of goodness and forgiveness, nothing changed that about her.

What is to be learned in March:

Princess of Amber 👸🏽:

“I quietly sizzle and shine.”

You are connecting with your passion. It is time to focus on the task at hand and not divert your attention. If you are being of service to others, you will reap great rewards. This is a sign of great abundance with selflessness. Put your eye on the work and not the rewards. You’re also being urged to stand up for what you believe in. If you are being asked to compromise yourself, you must not. You are correct to feel passionate about your position, you know intuitively what a fair request is. When your intentions are good and true, you will always land with two feet on the ground. You may be up against pretty big odds, but you mustn’t give in to what you know is not correct. Others see your worth, it’s time for you to, and have faith that you are doing the right thing.

Orange/Amber may be lucky colors 🧡🤎

#Taurus #monthly tarot reading #march 2024 #monthly #tarot #astrology

[sushicha]

I'm feeling very grateful for Shourtney right now! This has nothing to do with the ship, but everything to do with Shayne and Courtney and how they've helped me grow as a person!

So growing up, my parents weren't very strong influences in my personal development, so I always tell people I was practically raised by the internet and was obsessed with YouTube since I was 8 years old (I'm 24 now...). But I've spent so much of my life surfing through garbage trying to find positive influences. There were times I was almost sucked into the alt-right pipeline, and even though I was eventually guided to the left, I made it through so much shit that I'm still unpacking a lot of the bullshit I consumed...

Rediscovering Smosh and the cast was a GODSEND! Not only is Smosh non-problematic and left-leaning, it's a COMEDY GROUP? Y'all have no idea how rare that is... so many creators out there whose sense of humor is being as offensive and edgy as possible. I just like silly content, dude. And Smosh is IT, man. Their stuff was cool back when it was Ian and Anthony, but modern Smosh is just SOOOOO good 😭

I was in an extremely toxic work environment for the last 4 years (toxic masculinity, homophobia, racism, misogyny, you name it...), and I'm so glad I rediscovered Smosh around that time. I became obsessed and watched everything they put out because it was in such stark contrast to the environment I was in.

Shayne became my biggest influence because he's so outwardly not a toxic masculine man. Very respectful, very understanding, very uplifting, just trying to make everyone laugh and feel good about themselves. I know he's pretty traditionally masculine, but I'm also that way and I just can't stand how many men get sucked into this idea of never showing emotion, never being vulnerable, hating the powerless, hating anything remotely considered feminine... he's none of that. I've spent my entire adult life trying to purge all my internalized misogyny and toxic traits (it's not easy!) and he's been such a great influence in that way. And his influence over my sense of humor has been GALACTIC. His humor isn't at anyone's expense but (sometimes) himself, and that's the best way to be funny is to just be as silly and ironic of an entertainer as possible. It's everything I aspire to be. I just wish he dressed a little better sometimes, LMAO 💀

If Shayne is my yang, Courtney is my yin! Courtney represents everything I've come to love and appreciate about personal growth, self-expression, and femininity (even though I know they're NB). They're SO weird and SO not afraid to be themself, even at the risk of seeming "cringe". But I freaking love it, dude! It takes so much pressure off of trying to be perfect and fit into everyone's box, and I think that's what makes them so funny and entertaining! They're so... authentic. And Courtney's always the one to uplift the vibes, to bounce off people's energy, to bring out everyone's potential. They have this natural charisma that makes it insanely difficult not to want them to be in every video. And they've grown SO MUCH in the last 4 years! You would think 2018 Courtney vs. 2022 Courtney are completely different people! Getting to witness that change in real-time was soooo epic. And them understanding their own identity helped me reevaluate my own understanding of gender, masculinity, and femininity. I'm still cishet, but I think it's important that everyone have a thorough understanding of themselves and Courtney got me to explore those questions more than I ever would have.

Putting Shayne and Courtney in a room together makes actual magic, y'all. Everything I just said about them individually, put that TOGETHER. PLACE AN EXPONENT AT THE END OF THAT SHIT 👏 They bring out the best in each other, and it makes for some of the most entertaining shit. Like yes, I'm a Shourtney shipper, but dating or not, they are an unrivaled duo and I'm here for every minute of it.

Y'all, I was DEVASTATED when they cancelled Smoshcast. I listened to it every week at work because it was so refreshing listening to such intelligent and adorable humans talk about life vs. the sea of brainless testosterone I was drowning in 😓 AND COULD YOU IMAGINE SMOSHCAST NOW??? A BRAND NEW COURTNEY, ALL THESE NEW CAST AND CREW MEMBERS, ALL THE STORIES THEY WOULD HAVE TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME??? I get why they cancelled Smoshcast, they want to focus on other stuff, but man, it still hurts 🥺 I'M FINE

ok RANT OVER, GO AWAY 😌❤️

#shartney #shourtney #smosh #shayne topp #courtney miller

[pespillo]

Proposition - [TOH] Bill/Belos fic

1.025 words , horrid old people make hand holding weird, doomed toxic yaoi

Bill invites Belos to the shrine at night to talk, Bill´s full name is Vasilis, they are unmasked. v

"Follow me" He said to the emperor and walked over behind a curtain, Belos followed through with his royal mask left on the other elder´s makeshift throne .

Down an illuminated elevated hall there stood an altar, idolatry to a sun shaped face decorated in blue and yellow hues, and surrounded by almost endless piles of skulls, different from the usual witch or demon he's come to known, not strewn across but meticulously piled onto each other to maintain integrity, candles lit up sporadically but mostly around the table by the altar, and in front of it some steps leading towards it.

Bill stood still on the middle of the steps, gloved claws held around his back.

"I must say, you have an eye for presence."

 Belos spoke, eyeing at the organization, wondering if he could make something out of the discarded pieces of failed guards at the Titan´s head, would it do anything? would it mean anything, they were not supposed to mean anything, once it dies the soul turns back from its vessel, that's the purpose. But Vasilis personal shrine seemed to emanate something to him, he couldn't help to inquire what was this feeling,

"Im proud of what i have built, it's a monument to us all as much as it is to the Grand Huntsman" there he went, the Huntsman, a god-like figure that would grant wishes and fortune to all who give it proof of the slaying of the Titans.

"Did the huntsman grant you all life?" a question escaped his lips, upon trusting himself with the trappers, he finally felt somewhat at ease in a house of hunters to talk of faith, it had been decades since he last spoke of faith, the Collector was no use of it, they were entirely too childish and seemed to feel above the thoughts of the mortals, or well, only seemed to be interested in the feats of Bible men and miracles, the only sort of thing "similar" enough to magic to the creatures of the demon realm

"The titans... tie us to this wretched world, they give us the land that we walk on so that they clutch us with their horrendous claws, forcing us to become part of them," Bill rambled on tightening his fist and looking down towards him with that piercing single blue eye, grinding his teeth

"The Huntsman grants something greater, infinite like the skies, powers beyond any low demon sucking the marrow out of the bones of this world" he had a tongue for prose, his expression softened with fondness as he turned around.

"He doesn't need to give us life when he offers something more beautiful beyond it, right?" His smile was earnest but the look in his eyes was wide and crazed, blue eye reflect with his own blues, human spirit in an ugly witch shell, he thinks, even if it's at the wrong side, at the wrong heaven, the ambition is there.

"Do you wish for salvation?" Belos found himself saying, maybe it's the moon, the influences of lunacy, to be alone and find someone who speaks a prayer you have not heard in centuries, he longs for a church, a true one,

"What a - You're not trying to sell me anything right? I already said im not

going to join the Titan´s dogma!" the short man accused while going over a step, Belos walking forward -ugh, the idiot- he thought , almost scrambling to explain himself before Bill talked his head off 

"No-" Belos reached out and Bill stepped away from touch, keeping his false claws to himself, the tall man took a look at his own hand and then, digit to digit, carefully took off his armored glove, Bill looked down at that arm and hand, not so scarred, Belos always made sure to not show off the carved markings over his flesh in his other arm.

Vasilis just stared at that naked hand, "Is there glory in salvation too?"

his posture relaxing, an examination that Philip may have not been aware of, the moon peeks over the clearing of the roof, he's distracted by the glow of the man's eyes, his glances back at his own hand again and back at him, when did a dead heart decide to drum?

Bill reaches over carefully, just with the slightest touch, and Belos grabs onto the clawed digit, pulling it off the witch's hand, the man letting him undress it to reveal that smaller palm, he examines it himself; not a single sunspot and smoothed over as if time didn't touch it, fervor jealousy and fascination bubbles up, how? his mind starts wandering off to figure out, is it what The Huntsman promises them?

he speaks with careful method, to sway the witch lower to him back again, he has answers if he hears them out,

"There is always glory in what lies beyond, i know it, that's the promise He makes for all of us" He in this case his own god, the Holy Father of humanity, but Vasilis doesn't have to know, he doesn't have to know anything more than the coldness of his roughed hand,the prickling against the skin of his naked hand, there's nothing there, its beyond what's natural, it reminds the witch of a feeling almost forgotten but something that fills him with vigor to continue on this mission. The celestial touch living in the dusty corners of his mind.

"We could light a beacon with this world, don't we?" the elder smiles meeting Philip´s face, was he willing to smile back?

"It'll shine and burn so bright He is bound to find us and take us to the heavens." The emperor gripped that man's hand, almost with the will to scratch it, taint it, bring it down to his level, but he wanted him to believe he was a messenger of the stars, so not yet. 

In a way it was a half-truth, would he hate him if he told him the truth, that he's keeping the Huntsman away from him and gaining their favors?

He doesn't have to know. It's more beautiful when he doesn't know.

#the owl house #emperor belos #toh bill #philip wittebane #billos #toh fic #toh fanfic #samsa´s art stuff

[silvernyxchariot]

"Amino sucks." Ouh~ I do love a good rant, so I shall add to the pool of Amino rants here on Tumblr. Now, say it with your whole chest, if you're going to make a statement, say it correctly.

No, Amino App is absolute trash.

Synopsis: Tumblr and Ao3 are superior options for your niché interests. Don't bother using Amino Apps if you value creative freedom, dislike censorship, or glitchy apps that eat up your battery life.

I originally joined in 2018-2019 and to my understanding, it was a place to express your love for a specific topic. In my case, I loved One Piece and Naruto. People could post their art, fanfics, and role play with their OCs. But whatever creative liberties Amino veterans had pre-2020 are long gone.

The communities go from one extreme to the next, within the same community might I add. Ex. There are Amino communities that talk about serial killers/murder but within the same breath you get the 20 y/o adult toddlers crying about the word "thot" being too obscene! 😱 And you can bet your ass, there are glitches, bugs, and porn bots. Overall, idiocracy on Amino is equivalent to Twitter/X but not as graphic as 2chan, the defunct Japanese worser version of 4chan. Some examples of the shit that goes on in Amino include but are not limited to:

A classical painting of Lucifer being reported as pornographic, subsequently silencing/banning the post author (not my story)

Drawing of t-shirts with the words "f*ck" or "tits" on characters, fully clothed btw, and no ahegao in sight being silenced/hidden (my story)

But community staff is A-OK with featuring, for ALL to SEE, women in thin bikinis who are one sneeze away from having their tits pop out

Grooming. Adults grooming children in DMs

Porn bots, although I've seen this as less of a problem if staff is sensible enough to lock/close the community

Community staff being wholy hypocritical. I say the word "thot" in a public chat and get some curator complaining, "That's a no-no word. 🥺We have to protect the children." But I come back to the SAME public chat, and for about an hour and a half, they were talking about laundering money, murder, and department store theft. With not a single staff member in sight. Royally, Fuck Off. (Def my story)

Team Amino won't do a single fucking thing when you file a report to them for anything; for inactive Agent leaders, staff's abuse of power, reporting groomers, etc.

TA's reporting bots are 100% stupid. My Zoro drawing got hidden because it was considered "pornographic." He was in his Santō Ryu pose with his swords while wearing the equivalent of swim shorts and a bandana. Like, "BITCH. This basically his normal attire." (Def my story)

Hotel Hazbin has a minimum age requirement of 16. It's for a mature audience, yeah? The first PSA I see when I get into the Amino is "No 18+ content allowed. To protect the ✨️children✨️😇." MAYBE DON'T ALLOW CHILDREN BELOW THE AGE OF 16 ONTO AN AMINO WITH MATURE SUBJECTS such as prostitution, drug abuse, murder, and alcoholism.¹

I'm only on Amino now to support a friend because he still posts there, but even he's been holding back on drawing his OCs in cool outfits and getting fed up with TA's bullshit and community staffs' hypocrisy. MediaLab, the company that bought Amino App from its original creators, is basically making Amino into a toddlers' app, but not actively doing anything to manage it or make it better.

Voice Chats: degenerate, depraved, toxic. Never experienced it myself, but glad I didn't based on the shit I've heard from others.

Aside from the thirteen to twenty three year olds, there are also the grown 30+ year old "adults" throwing tantrums. I saw one woman complain/rant about how horrible men are and how she was getting a divorce to a chat filled with SIXTEEN (16) year olds. It was just wholy unnecessary to trauma dump on these guys. They're here to roleplay and talk about anime. 💀

¹ Staff can ASK people to add their age/birthday in their "Request to join" message, and if the little shits are lying, that's their fault for causing drama or getting offended in a 16+ Amino. Just ban them and their alt accounts. I left as soon as I read that PSA, I'm not dealing with MORE hypocrisy.

To be clear, I'm not asking for "2 girls, 1 cup" videos (an old porno with scat & golden showers), but at least a sensible audience that can handle mature topics. More than "He died of drug overdose 👍" but less than a detailed description of genitals being mutilated by barbed wire, which is actually referenced in epi.1 of HH.

Profanity and cursing are a part of my issue with Amino communities, but slang doesn't necessarily make people equivalent to adults.

* May update this more when I have the time. ♡✧( ु•⌄• ) I also have receipts (screenshots) of 1 or 2 of the things I listed if you need ✨️evidence.✨️

#Amino apps #Amino sucks #amino is trash #ranting hours #Creative freedom? Revoked! #HoyoLab is just as bad #And I'm seeing more trans/homo-phoic shit on both apps recently

[anyathefandom]

You know what I'm bored and have time right now so...

Things that aren't working on GH right now (for me of course😉

Fiz: Mainly because Finn is a boundaries crossing asshole who beefed with 14/15yr olds until proven wrong. Liz doesn't deserved to be stuck with sl and pairing. Bless her.

Cody bell aka: Truck nuts. Rodeo clown. Stinky horse man. Stable baby. Enough said.

CarSona: Carly vs Nina is old and stale. Sona are having the same talk about their relationship in circles. Repetitive dialogue all around. Just reunite CarSon's toxic asses. I'm over it.

Drew: Drew's characterization is off so it doesn't even feel like drew. Liked him at first but then they quickly made him a Jason stand in because Carly needed a hand to hold as usual.

Crew: Everything about them feels forced. Drew forgave her so quickly because they didn't want Carly and drew to have any conflict but they should've let them have conflict for the sake of ✨drama✨. We should seen drew resenting her for dropping him so quickly for Jason and she should've worked to be back in his good graces. I wouldn't have shipped it still because I don't ship anyone with Carly but I would've been like "okay I see why people ship it.🤷"

Auxie and Austin's sl: Auxie have negative chemistry. Like I rather see spixie reunite and I don't particularly care for that pairing anymore.🥴 Austin's sl doesn't intrigue me. It's boring.

Spinelli's sl: Why is this his sl? Honestly who cares about Cody blackmailing spinelli over how he gets his info for the dating app. Honestly the whole sl could've stayed in the drafts.

Michael's revenge: His vendetta against sonny isn't intriguing because nothing is really happening. The sl isn't moving. Like Mikey move your plan along or stfu.🙈Only good thing we've gotten out of this is Dex.🥴

Alexis x Gregory: alexis and Gregory aren't giving me anything. Honestly instead of fiz they should've tried Alexis x Finn again (back when I didn't hate Finn). Or gave her another problematic bf because let's be real Alexis and toxic men go great together.🙈

Sasha's spiral: Sofia is a great crier but enough is enough. Sasha's character is being tortured and it's so depressing to see because they won't let up on heaping misery on her.

Millow: I mean y'all knew it was going to be on the list and I've posted too many times over the past years about how they don't work for me. All I'm going to say is TreeJ needs to rise up 😂

Rorina: Rory is a non character. We only know that he's a cop who makes brownies, will only spend 50 cents on you for a soda, and will put his badge above you and snitch on your mama. Y'all I was so hyped for this love triangle because I actually wanted someone who could compete against Spencer for Trina's heart and yet we got Rory instead.😒 (It should've been Dex or cam🙈)

Jex: No chemistry. I didn't fuck with Caoss because they had no chem and looked like siblings and won't ship Jex for that same reason.🤷

Josslyn: I try so hard to like her but maybe I should just accept that I don't.😂 She has her moments where I go "lol, Joss your right." But otherwise she's just not my cup of tea.

Olivia: She is utterly annoying about this Nina mess. I can understand she's mad on Carly's behalf but why won't the writers have her be mad on Dante's and Rocco's behalf? That makes way more sense than her hate for Nina being wrapped up in her loyalty for Carly.

Nikolas: I want the man dead and gone, oh but no before the whole town finds out he slept with Esme. I need him dragged and I need for Esme to pop up pregnant and make his life truly miserable then he can "die". Also because Marcus coloma really showed us he doesn't have the range.

Chalynn: This hurt my soul to put them on the list but it's the Truth that their not working. It's not for a lack of chemistry but because of the writing. The PG 13 writing for them sucks and they deserve better.

Sidenote: I'm thinking about making what is working for me list and I just know it's going to be short.😂

Willow's sl: The only way I'll care if we get more tj x willow moments. Willow's sl isn't even her sl it's Carly's and Nina's. Girl got leukemia just for it to be revealed that Nina is her mom and Carly knew the whole time. More fuel for the boring ass feud.🙄

Kristina not having a sl and just being their to prop people. Give her a sl!!!!

#general hospital

[ruralbi]

You know what's really sad? I'm 31 I'm slowly entering the end of my twink years. But that's not the sad part, as I'm planning to do a graceful transition to a beautiful otter, probably around 40yo. On God I'll get proper hairy one day.

(aparté, as a younger man I used to bemoan the end of my twink years at like 23 but I was sorely mistaken. Now I realize every day as I stand next to regular degular men that I am..... still a fucking twink. Now distinguished by less MDMA and more face lines, but still very obviously different than the just some guys next to me.) (I call this the Wilson life stage) like idk I got older but the older guys I'm into got older as well so in comparison with them I'm still twinkish? Drug addicted club slut is the burgeoning stage of twink life and now I'm blossoming into a beautiful bitch who listens to eurodance at Sunday brunch. Before if I did a huge scene bc whoever I was dating didn't pay me enough attention it was bc I had too much coke, now it's because I'm just a melodramatic brat like that. And that's growth baby. Find out who you are and do it on purpose.)

Anyway the sad part is the abysmal bear prospects in my area.

There's the mason who calls me beautiful and loves to talk about what he would do to me if he were ten years younger, but I've become friends with his wife.

There's the farmer who asked me to go to the sauna with him but he's friends with my parents AND his son is my age. (Tbh I'm kinda convinced I fumbled that one and should've gone for it, but the SAUNA as a FIRST DATE??? I do need substance abuse for that one chief, at least do the bar bathroom so I can have a drink beforehand I beg you) I could've gotten railed in the normal very much not gay sauna with like the third grade history teacher and my coworker's mother wondering what the hell is that noise in the next room, what a miss. I still buy his milk, it's a small comfort to me. He pretends he never invited me to the sauna and jokes about women ay what can you do! with my dad.

(moment of silence for the builder bottom who ended up threatening my housemate (his coworker) and almost hit me when I intervened about it. A Chihuahua can still bite bitch, I hope I never see him again BUT he was hot and a proper bear)

Best prospect currently is a local radio announcer but he's possibly not fat enough idk I need to see him naked, ideally in a jockstrap... to really make up my mind. And unlike all the others he's not propositioned me already, so I'm doing the eyes with force of a thousand suns. My resolution is to invite him to the bar in two weeks and if he says yes I'll see what he does in the bathroom.

And yes the current obsession with older bears is because I'm still holding to my word to not fuck my toxic ex (who was a young bear, unbecoming of myself really).

I haven't been touched in SO long like I seriously need to hold hands while watching telly but I would settle for cocksucking at this stage. local radio host please call me.

I hold hope bc we had several conversations where I batted my eyelashes and he told me that he's old, poor and okay with trans people. I'm like bitch me too! We have so much in common, let me suck your dick about it.