#If you ARE interested in being tagged in things by random internet strangers and decide to play the game

[waytooinvested]

Fandom creators tag game

1. What sort of content do you create, and what is the thing you’ve made that you’re most proud of? Mostly I write fanfiction. Sometimes I make little needle felted character dolls. Over all proudest is probably still The Hands I Used to Touch (Call the Midwife), but for my current fandom (Supergirl) it's Forgotten, Not Forgiven, as that is my latest big project and home to all the fluffy supercorp that I need in my life (okay not in the published chapters but IT WILL BE EVENTUALLY I PROMISE)

2. What fandom(s) do you create for? Right now just Supergirl, and I have only written three fics for that one so far (but hopefully more to come!) Before that it was Call the Midwife.

3. What is your current favourite ship (or brotp if you prefer), and how controversial is it? Supercorp, ie Kara/Lena for Supergirl (I know, I’m so quiet about it on this blog you would never have guessed). It occupies an interesting space of being simultaneously entirely non controversial in that it is by far the biggest ship I have ever engaged with, while also being extremely divisive, both within and beyond fandom spaces. But I arrived here LONG after most of that had happened, and am now just happily playing in the sandpit of creative space while the bones of drama stay *mostly* buried. Always a bit of a shock when one rises up to try and kick down your sandcastle though (yes, I am aware that that is a mildly horrifying visual)

4. For your answer to question 3, are they canon? They are not (TECHNICALLY), but there is enough raw material in canon to build The São João Baptista, and that is enough for me. That and the 21,302 (and counting) fics with their relationship tag on AO3.

5. What was your first fandom, and how old were you? The first I actually engaged with other fans over was Call The Midwife in my early 20s, and that was because I snapped after seeing one too many tv lesbians get hit by a car.

6. What is your most unhinged fandom creation to date? Unhinged is not really my brand so I don't really have anything good for this one. Is Kara gets accidentally miniaturized unhinged? Or a bait and switch Lena "villain" arc? I think probably not really to either, but that's the closest I've got for this fandom so far...

7. Do you remember what started you off creating fandom content, and if so, what was it? The aforementioned incident between Delia and a car, which left her with amnesia and taken away to Wales mere moments after she and Patsy had moved in together. But I’m over it. Honest.

8. Do you let people you know in real life see your fandom creations? Not usually, I get shy about it. The exceptions are my wife (but we met via fandom so that one maybe doesn’t count) and on occasion my best friend, who talked me round by being an enthusiastic sweetheart.

9. How do you feel about fanworks of fanworks? Has anyone ever made something based on a thing you made? A few people have made fan art for my fics and it felt like the absolute highest compliment that could be paid to my writing. It was amazing to know that something I wrote meant enough to people to inspire them to go and create their own thing from it, and I loved getting to see other people’s takes on the version of the characters/story I had created. I think it's one of the best things about fandom communities! But I do understand why other people might feel differently about something they have poured so much of themselves into making, so I guess the main thing is trying to be respectful with it, crediting the source, and accepting people's boundaries. Basically I think we should all just be kind to each other and have fun.

10. What feeling do you most often try to evoke with your creations? I'm generally seeking my own catharsis through writing fix-it fic for painful things that happened in canon, so I guess a certain amount of pain followed by the eventual fluffy feel good satisfaction of resolution, but honestly I consider it a win if I can evoke a whole spectrum of emotions along the way.

11. Has someone ever paid your work a compliment (in any form) that has stuck with you, and what was it? Someone once liked my fic so much that she married me about it, so it’s hard to beat that haha. But on a more usual level, people making fanart for my fic was a HUGE one. And also just when people have left particularly in depth comments, commented on every chapter, told me they're rereading or that a fic of mine was their favourite etc... Basically just knowing that something I made has really meant something to someone gives me all of the warm fuzzy feelings, and I am very grateful to each and every person who has taken the time to tell me so!

12. What’s your favourite thing someone else has made that you’ve seen in the last 24 hours (and link it if you can find it again!) Originally I had the bouquet toss ficlet by @fazedlight here, because it just captures the characters so beautifully, but then I left this sitting in my drafts and it is now more than 24 hours ago that I saw it, so I'll add this adorable art by @awaitingrain, because LOOK AT IT! They are so cute??! Also I relate to gentle nomming as a display of affection XD

13. Give a small sneak preview of something you’re working on right now (eg a couple of sentences of fic from a WIP, a gif set theme, a small piece of a larger picture, whatever you feel happy to share) "Lena Luthor was dangling from the side of a cliff, nothing between her and the vast chasm of space below but the small jutting nodule she was clinging to to keep from falling.

How the hell had she ended up here?

Well. She knew how of course.

Kara Danvers was how."

14. Have you ever seen/read anything made by the person who tagged you? If so, what was it and what was your favourite thing about it? (pick a favourite if there are several) SO MANY!! it’s hard to pick a favourite of hers honestly because she is a RIDICULOUSLY good writer, but I’m going to go with The Next Best Thing by @cynicalrainbows. I don’t tend to read many kidfics but this one is the absolute best I have come across, she captures the child perspective fantastically well while also being incredibly engaging and entertaining to an adult reader. It is what successfully pulled me into reading Six fanfic despite (at that point) never having seen the musical. Even if you haven’t either, I wholeheartedly recommend checking it out. Or go and read her new Paperdolls fic and help grow that fandom, which I think currently has all of two people in it!

15. Do you leave comments on fandom works, and if so how would you describe your comment style? I do! I know how much I love it when people do it for me, so I try to leave comments on every chapter of the fics I read (or add tag notes for tumblr art/fic reblogs), and give specifics about what I like about it. Sometimes I just fully liveblog the fic reading experience, which is always fun. I also find it makes you engage and appreciate the work more because you’re taking your time to really think about it, AND it makes an author happy to receive (at least so I hope), which makes me happy.

16. How many works in progress do you currently have? Will you finish them all? Not counting a couple of dump documents of ideas and snippets, technically 3, I guess? One is Forgotten, Not Forgiven (Supergirl) which is my big one and will definitely be finished. The others are less certain – Storybooks and Siren Suits (Call The Midwife) is the one kidfic I have ever written, and is both my longest story at 151,020 (published) words, and also the one I am least likely to finish, because it has been stuck on the same chapter for around 3 years now. The other is Small Problem… (Supergirl) which could be counted as a finished oneshot, but I will probably end up adding further Adventures of Tiny Kara at some point.

17. what’s the longest it’s ever taken you to finish a fandom project?Well, see above re: 3 year stall on new updates. For actually fully finished and published stories I think it was around 6 months.

18. Describe the thing you made most recently in a way that is technically true, but also completely misleading. Link the thing if it’s published! Lena discovers Kara in Lex’s bed, then decides to lure her into friendship under false pretenses. Alex helps her do it. Forgotten, Not Forgiven.

19. Do you ever engage with fanworks for a fandom you’re not in? Which one(s) and how did you get into it? See above re: getting into fanfiction for Six!

20. Recommend a fan work from your fandom to your followers That’s tough because there are so many amazing ones, but I think I will go with I Guess I Live Here Now by @fabulousglitch, because it was both the first fic I really got into for supercorp and also contained everything I wish the characters could have had in canon. I know I am several years late to the party so if you are in the supercorp fandom you have probably already read it, but if you haven’t read it GO READ IT, IT’S SO GOOD!

Suggested tag list, but there are no rules here, follow your heart.

A mutual you have never actually spoken to but think seems cool @nottawriter

The most recent person whose content you engaged with (eg read a fic, reblogged art, whatever form you feel best fits) @sideguitars (and I still owe you a comment on AO3 for that!)

Someone whose content you saw via tags/reblogs and you followed them because of it @sssammich

Someone in your fandom that you think makes cool things @fazedlight

Someone in a different fandom that you think makes cool things @havaamina

Someone you always tag on things like this @cynicalrainbows

Someone you have never tagged before @thatonebirdwrites

Someone you would like to get to know better @thecasualqueer

Someone who makes art you like @pea-green (I don't know if you still do fandom drawing/writing these days, but your commissioned art is still up in my house/in my profile picture and I love it so much)

Someone who writes fics you like @fabulousglitch

#tag game #fanfic writing #fandom creators #I have only been here a couple of months so the number of people I could actually claim to *know* on any level in this fandom is tiny #So if I have tagged you and you have no interest in being tagged in things by random unfamiliar internet strangers #please accept this as the compliment it is intended as and feel free to ignore it! #If you ARE interested in being tagged in things by random internet strangers and decide to play the game #please tag me so I can see your answers! #And if I didn't tag you but you would like to play anyway please feel free to name me as your tagger if you want to :)

[utilitycaster]

How to welcome new fans

This is obviously incredibly subjective/influenced by my personal experience, but it's something I've had bouncing around in my mind since well before all the D20 nonsense and which I think is a useful starting point!

The golden rule is let the new fans decide what they want and need. If your enjoyment of something depends on whether other people enjoy it the same way you do, that is a you problem, to be remedied as quickly as fucking possible. Or at the very least keep your whining to private quarters.

Some conclusions from that are:

Assume new fans are as smart as you are if not smarter. Once you were new to this fandom too, and you (presumably) picked it up; why can't they? Do not hold people's hands unless they explicitly ask for it. It is probably intended as a kindness, but it is also immensely condescending and irritating when unwelcome. I personally like the experience of not quite knowing what's going on and picking it up as I go, and it sucks when I make an idle wondering post and some random person I've never seen before starts explaining it to me like I'm 5.

Be thoughtful when interacting with their posts. If it's not maintagged? Think about why they may have made that choice. I often do not main tag post for works I'm new to both to avoid spoilers and because when I have, I've gotten somewhat swarmed by people excited by new blood or spoiling things for me, and I do not want that.

On the flip side, don't speak for new fans among older fans. Do not tell people what and what not to spoiler tag. Do not position yourself as the fucking ambassador. (I've been harsh on D20 fans so I want to be clear this is a HUGE problem in CR; I've gotten wild asks from existing fans telling me to spoiler tag plot points from 2015 because of new people in the TLOVM fandom, and with every new campaign or EXU there's a barrage of obnoxious ~*you don't need to know all of CR to watch this!*~ posts that are I think less presumptuous but just as annoying as the shit we're seeing from D20 fans.)

Honestly everything else I would say is covered by the above. Don't push your opinions on new fans who literally didn't ask, especially if they're your long-nursed grudges. Believe me, I love being a hater but I make an effort not to be a hater in the replies or reblogs of other people's posts. Don't ask people who join the fandom and provide particularly interesting commentary to go faster. Generally ask yourself "do I sound like I am asking this internet stranger to join my polycule and/or vampire cult? Do I sound like I'm asking for their TPS reports except the reports are art or meta?" and if the answer is not a resounding "Nope", stop what you're doing.

#anyway saw another ICE COLD ravening war take but i'm being SO brave about it (is not being brave at all; made this entire post.)

[kerwynlar]

A very kind individual reached out about my Porter-Cale series and was interested in knowing more about the characters. This completely made my week! I'm going to post another installment of that, but I also wanted to put up some background on the characters here. Check it out under the cut!

And in case you haven’t seen the stories:

Meet The Family is a stuffing/caretaking belly kink fic that takes place early in the characters’ relationship.

Hugh & Nick’s First Trimester is, as the shitty title implies, an mpreg fic.

No kink in the background below.

Hugh came up with the idea for Coopertech while he was in college. It would be a search engine, email provider, and document generation and storage platform that people paid for in exchange for 100% airtight security and their data never being sold to anyone. Essentially a competitor to Google (and gmail and google docs, etc.) except instead of making money from mining big data, they would make money from their customers. The tagline was “Be a customer, not a product.” 

Hugh was an okay coder but a fantastic entrepreneur. He was incredibly charming and very skilled at selling his vision and his product. A few years after college he had put together enough investors that he could quit his coffee shop job and build Coopertech (nicknamed “Coop”) full time. He immediately hired really skilled developers who could take the shaky platform he had built and remake it to actually achieve his vision. 

Hugh was always a social media darling. He was conventionally attractive, genuinely enjoyed working out, and had the kind of genetic makeup that let him build a really impressive physique. His social media presence in his 20s was one part thirst trap workout selfies, one part boosting Coop, and one part insightful commentary on digital privacy and the ethics of technology. 

There were frequently people in his mentions debating whether this was a catfishing scenario where a really smart person was using some gym bro’s selfies or a Cyrano de Bergerac situation where a gym bro and smart guy were working together on one account. Hugh’s friends and acquaintances always tried to assure people that both the image and the intellect were him, but strangers on the internet found it unconvincing. They were also unconvinced by his live streams where he answered random questions, claiming that “the nerdy guy” could be off camera typing the answers. When Coop got bigger, Hugh was invited for interviews on podcasts, streaming shows, and eventually tv where the interviewers would assure their listeners and viewers that there was only one guy in the room. 

Hugh and Nick met during Hugh’s barista days, while Nick was still in law school. They were both friends of friends of someone hosting a house party and ended up hardly knowing anyone there. After Hugh introduced himself they spent the whole night talking and were nearly inseparable ever since. 

After law school, Nick got a job with the Department of Justice in the Environment and Natural Resources division as a litigator. Nick was very good at his job but didn’t like the fact that he was always one or two steps removed from actually helping people. After practicing for a few years he and some colleagues decided to start their own firm to directly represent people impacted by environmental issues, instead of representing the government. 

Nick’s social media was one part being tagged by Hugh in things, one part amplifying environmental issues, and one part memes. 

#kerwyn's writing #porter-cale stories #background on my OCs #no kink this time

[lemonsandstrawberries]

Hashtag: RelationshipGoals

fandom: Stony (Steve x Tony)

summary: Steve is being forced into getting a Twitter accounts and logs into Tony’s for inspiration - one mistake later, he finds more than he asked for. Meaning, his boyfriend has a tickle kink and Steve has a lot of thinking to do. 

length: 5 468

a/n: Happy Friday 13th! *throws confetti* To celebrate I am posting a fic that contains one of the biggest fears for people with tickle kink - someone finding out when you are not ready to tell them. It has a happy ending, promise! Hope you all will enjoy this fic, feedback, reblogs and likes are appreciated and needed! fic inspired by this prompt. 

—————

Hashtag: RelationshipGoals

Long story short - Steve was getting a Twitter account.

Long story long...

It all started with a certain PR meeting held for the Avengers team, just this time, it was Steve vs the whole PR team. The problem was simple - Steve didn't like social media and didn't have an account on any of the numerous websites and apps. Fighting with aliens, planning new missions, schooling SHIELD agents - those were the zones he felt comfortable in. Some thought that the hidden reason behind the hostility towards social media was, that Steve, born in the 1920s, had a problem with using modern technology. Some called it endearing, some pathetic, the truth was, that Steve fairly quickly mastered each piece of technology he was given, skillfully using any given device. After all, he wasn't dense. Many apps were quite useful, some just plain entertaining, and it required a lot of navigating, but he managed to find some favorites. Just when it came to social media… Steve didn't feel like sharing his private life with unknown faces. Call him old-fashioned, but he liked having direct contact with people and as much as he liked to take a stop during his random walks in the city to talk with people who called themselves his fans, it quickly became too overwhelming. He wasn't good at such things and always thought he was too awkward and not what people expected. Steve didn't like that kind of pressure and didn't like the almost weekly notices from the PR team that he needed to make himself more 'accessible'. By no means, he was expected to stop and talk to everyone who ever called him or share mission details with strangers, but he needed to create a more public persona for Captain America and Steve Rogers.

Hence, Steve was encouraged to take a plunge into the world of social media. 

And he really, really, really didn't want to do that.

One - it was pretty tedious to keep up with everything. Tony eagerly showed him all social accounts he had - Twitter, Instagram, Facebook profile, Youtube, and it all just gave him a headache as Tony chattered which media was good for what and gladly showed him his own Instagram page (mostly workshop photos and meals Steve had prepared for him, which was kinda sweet) and if Steve became slightly interested in that, his interest dropped after hearing about filters and tags. Too much work. 

Second - he didn't have time to keep his theoretical accounts active and post new content regularly. Or more, he didn't want to make time, preferring to spend it on reading or training or hanging out with Tony or anything else, really. He had been gently suggested, that some celebrities (Steve's eyes widened a little after hearing that - was he a celebrity?) hire someone else to run their social media accounts. Steve shook his head at the proposition, knowing that none of his teammates did that and so he shouldn't either, not mentioning that everything posted wouldn't be sincere.

Third - Steve considered himself not an interesting person. He didn't have Tony's charisma, who, of course, had the biggest social media following ever, Thor's flair, which made his Youtube channel where he tasted food sent to him from all over the world by his viewers a huge success or Clint's humor, whose Internet activity limited to commenting on funny animal photos and home videos and people loved him. Even Bruce, seemingly even more awkward and distant when it came to dealing with a privacy-invading crowd, was doing great, kindling the interest of young kids in science with a series of easy to repeat experiments at home and railing about the importance of protecting and preserving the environment. Even Natasha didn't have a problem, her social media accounts full of useful self-defense tips for everyone who needed to feel safer. Steve just couldn't find anything in himself he would like to share with the world. He liked to keep his art private, his relationship private, and his whole life private. 

It should be the ending statement.

It wasn't.

And so Steve, feeling scolded, got back to his and Tony's shared floor, planning to hide, except that he was assigned a very simple task for the week.

Get a Twitter account.

Steve sat heavily on the couch, putting elbows on his knees and palms around his cheeks, definitely not pouting. Why on Earth did he need a Twitter account? Wasn't it enough that from time to time he appeared on Tony's account, being the supportive boyfriend, and allowing Tony share the photos of their date nights or even the short movies from Steve's training when Tony was proudly showing off Steve's impressive physique and using those damn filters and making small stars and glitter swirl around him. 

Speaking of Tony, he could use his boyfriend's advice... Steve checked his phone and knew that Tony was still stuck in a business meeting, and won't be back for an hour or so and as much as he wanted to not think about the Twitter issue it kept coming back to him. What was he supposed to write on Twitter? Something that wouldn't give too much about him, but would be safe and entertaining. He needed inspiration. Maybe a walk would clear his mind but as Steve was getting up, he noticed Tony's tablet laying at the edge of the coffee table. 

Well... Tony wouldn't mind if he took a peak, right? Granted, he never used Tony's tablet before without his boyfriend’s permission. It felt too personal and barging on privacy and it was almost a silent agreement between them that Steve won't touch Tony's electronic devices and Tony won't look through Steve's sketchbooks without prior agreement. But it was different, right? Tony's Twitter account was out there, for everyone, so it didn't matter if Steve would install the app on his phone and check the account, or go to the source and look through Tony's account. It might even help him to understand better how the app was working. 

Steve took the tablet and unlocked it, searching for the Twitter app. Letter T on a blue background. Steve pressed it and skimmed over the screen, looking at the design of the app. Huh, it looked very different from the account owner's point of view. He scrolled down the screen, seeing a lot of text, too much text because wasn't there a limit of signs per tweet? Further, into the app, Steve saw more of things he didn't recognize, didn't see any posts from other Avengers, instead of images and gifs and -

"Woah," Steve gaped, taking in what he was seeing. He quickly scrolled up, his face becoming heated, unsure what he just saw. For a minute, he turned the tablet in his hands, trying to decide if it really belonged to Tony and not someone else, but who else would have a hot red and gold cover, resembling the design of the Iron Man suit. It had to be Tony's tablet, which meant...

Those posts were Tony's. That account was Tony's. Tony had two Twitter accounts? Steve looked back, just now noticing that it wasn't Twitter after all. At the top of the screen on a background of dark blue in white letters was written Tumblr. Steve didn't hear of the app, it wasn't listed as one of the most popular ones for celebrities and that's probably why Tony used it for -

Steve wasn't exactly sure for what. For something secretive. Something he wanted to hide. Things he didn't admit even to Steve. 

Cautiously, Steve scrolled down again, trying to keep an open mind and be more cautious. He wasn't a prude, he knew that people had different kinks and it was completely normal. Heck, he and Tony had a very healthy sex and intimate life and the sight of Tony tied down for their playtime always made Steve's blood boil with lust and desire and they did indulge in some kinks, Steve current favorite one included spanking Tony's bouncy ass and watch it jiggle and the skin turn red. Tony had no problems with sharing his kinky fantasies and Steve was always willing to give it a go, sometimes proposing things on his own, like wax play, which wasn't only sexy but also artistic - Tony's body colored with drips of different colored wax was a beautiful sight. This... This was something different, Steve didn't think to consider. 

There were pictures, that without context seemed innocent, like an array of feathers on a pillow. Some were less subtle and showed a part of sucked in stomach, escaping from a coming closer feather duster. The gifs were the most intriguing - a tied up, blindfolded man, laughing and squirming, while a different man was...

Tickling him?

Steve's brow furrowed as he watched the gif, frame by frame. There was no doubt that it was tickling, fingers gliding over tied man's armpits and sides. Steve expected this to be a prelude, something more to follow, but it was all. Tickling was the main point. Steve blushed when he realized that if there were gifs, there had to be a video and who knew how long it was. How many minutes would it take to bring someone to the brink of hysterics, to make them crumble, but at the same time make it pleasurable? People were not forced into filming porn and following that principle, there were not forced into filming tickle kink videos.

And that being said... 

"Huh..." Steve mused out, bits of information falling into one picture. They never discussed it, but in the back of his head, Steve had this thought that Tony enjoyed being tickled, or at least didn't mind terribly. The way he squirmed between Steve's tickling hands but didn't try to run away. How he laughed and screamed for mercy whenever Steve targeted a sensitive spot and always seemed a bit disappointed when the tickling ended but masked it with a smile and complaints of being assaulted. Sometimes, Steve just felt provoked into tickling his boyfriend, like that one time, Tony had taken his sketchbook and hid away, refusing to say where he hid it and Steve had to tickle the information out of him until Tony was absolutely incoherent from laughter and breathless. 

That was cute. All those shared tickle moments were cute, but Steve never thought that they could be... hot. And intimate. He looked back at the gif, at the way the tickled man arched and bucked, but was not able to escape the ticklish strokes delivered over his skin. What if Tony was the one tied and spread in the chair and Steve was the one standing behind, dotting his fingertips over the bare torso, having that sense of power and control, enjoying the ticklish tremble of the bothered skin. It became a tempting image in his head. 

'Guuuuys, I don't know what to do.'

Steve's eyes caught on some text among the images and gifs. A separate post.

'I still can't tell my bf that I like being tickled. I just can't! There is this block in my head -'

Steve read the text, feeling that he might know the author. 

'I even did that thing you recommended with hiding his stuff away -'

Definitely knew the author. At the top of the post, he saw a name, probably the username and clicked on it. Blue background color, and image of feathers and the username in white bold font. The Spare Parts Man.

That was one major hint...

Steve scrolled down this page, seeing more text and images of people being tickled, some like, a gif that was of a zoomed in stomach, the belly button tickled by a tip of the feather, signed with a 'omg, goals', whatever that meant. Steve tried to search for the text he saw on the previous page, but couldn't find it anymore, instead saw more posts, where people seemed to be interacting with the author.

'Hi, SP! I was the one who sent you the asks with hiding your BF's stuff -'

'I am sure your BF will understand, from what you said, you are dating for a long time -'

'You still didn't tell him??? What are you waiting for, GO GO GO!'

Steve pursed his lips together, feeling upset that Tony was so willing to share with strangers, but not with him. This whole site seemed so secretive, and while Steve felt a bit betrayed, he started to think about things from Tony's perspective. Tickling wasn't a mainstream kink. Bondage, spanking, food play - all the things they had tried seemed to be more acceptable in the sex world while tickling... Some people enjoyed it, some hated it. Steve was somewhere in between. It could be a fun thing among loved ones, but could quickly become overwhelming and unbearable. Steve didn't think about it earlier, but he really liked tickling Tony. He loved the way his body twitched, the sound of his laughter, and the feeling of closeness and trust in the action. For Steve it was fun. For Tony, it had to run much deeper, forming stronger connections than it did for Steve. 

'I don't want to lose him. What if he thinks I am a freak?'

No, Steve would never think that. Tony was the great love of his life and Steve accepted him on every level. 

"Oh, babe..." Steve sighed softly, reading more posts, some screaming nervousness as Tony was pouring his heart out, feeling miserable with his inability to tell Steve the truth, some so heartwarming and oozing happiness when Tony was describing Steve's last tickle attacks and how incredibly good and completed it made Tony feel. 

That. Steve wanted to make Tony feel like that every day. Satiated and fulfilled and safe. 

No more secrets. 

Carried on the moment, Steve pressed on an icon with a pencil and began to write. 

***

Tony was bored. So, so bored. He caught a glimpse of Pepper sending him a scolding look and straightened up in his seat, pretending to pay attention. He just wanted to go back home and curl up next to Steve, feeling Steve's fingers stroking his hair and maybe, if he got lucky, Steve would rub his belly, using just enough pressure to make him smile and feel like melting. He started to smile at the thought and Pepper sent him a confused look. Uh oh. He better control himself. Tony grinned sheepishly at Pepper and set his face in a schooled, thoughtful look, trying to focus his attention on the meeting. Just half an hour more... It was all ending statements, so it was nothing bad if he decided to check his social media, right? Cautiously, Tony took out his phone and unlocked the screen, keeping the phone under the table. A new tasting video from Thor, with a package of sweets sent from the Netherlands. Tony made a mental note to drop later to Thor's floor and ask if he had any stroopwafels left to share because they were amazing with black coffee. Clint commenting on funny cats videos, Tony added it to his watch later list. As usual, his own social media were bursting with notifications, people raving over Iron Man and asking for more videos of Steve training routine, which, Tony couldn't blame them, the sight of his boyfriend working out was heaven. He even decided to check his Tumblr, curious if anyone sent him some more tips or maybe just left him a nice message -

Oh, that was weird. Usually, he had maybe two or three messages, some reblogs, and a few comments. This time, his app was bursting with notifications and Tony didn't post anything that could cause such a commotion in the last days.

'WHAT. WHAT????"

'Nooooooo... Please don't break up with him! He loves you so much!'

"The hell, dude! You invaded your bf's privacy like that?? You're the worst!"

Tony didn't understand anything. Maybe he clicked and shared something by accident. There was a slight possibility that his account was hacked. Maybe -

Maybe it was way, way worse. 

There was a new text post on his main, one he didn't write.

'Hi, this is Spare Part Man's boyfriend. I found this account by accident and me and my boyfriend have a lot to talk about once I see him.'

No. No, no, no.

"Tony? Tony, are you okay?!"

Tony didn't realize he started to hyperventilate until Pepper's voice brought him back. Everyone was staring at him and Tony felt like vomiting.

"I am fine," Tony said, not meaning it, his voice coming out squeaky. "Can we - excuse me, I have to go," Tony rambled out, sending a sorry look in Pepper's direction and trying to walk out of the conference room as calmly as possible. It felt like the whole world was spinning around him, making him feel nauseous. Tony stumbled to the window and pressed his face against the cool glass, trying to soothe his heated skin and get his thoughts back in order.

It wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this. Maybe it was never supposed to happen, staying as his hidden fantasy and dark secret. What if he deleted the account, right here, right now, would he be able to convince Steve that it never existed? 

No. Steve wouldn't fall for it. And Tony felt so stupid for creating that account in the first place, but he needed a place to vent. He didn't plan on socializing, sharing his life, just get the urges out and move on. He just... Wanted to feel accepted. Find people who thought the same as he did. Not feel so alone.

And he would end alone because Steve definitely was going to dump him.

***

"I am back!"

Tony was a genius. He had numerous diplomas to prove it. Yet, he decided that the best thing to do would be to march into his and Steve's shared floor, acting like nothing ever happened. Maybe if he managed to keep his cool he could put this whole Tumblr thing as a social study. Just a research on kinks. No biggie. He could do this.

"Tony, come to the bedroom for a second!"

Somehow hearing Steve's voice made this situation very real and not like Tony imagined it. He couldn't say anything from the tone of Steve's voice, it was neutral, not angry, but also wasn't the cheerful, loving one Steve had towards him. On usual days, Steve would come to him, resembling an excited puppy and lick his face - kiss, Tony meant kiss, and then they would sit on the couch and share their day. Their bedroom was a private, closed space and once Tony set his foot there, there was no way back. 

Feeling a nervous twist in his stomach, Tony peeked into the bedroom, just to feel if the situation was as bad as he feared. Steve was on the bed, forehead creased in thought, and was looking at the space in front of him until he spotted Tony from the corner of his eyes.

"Tony - " Steve started, sitting up straight, pulling shoulders back.

"No, Steve, I - " Tony walked into the bedroom, trying to make his voice strong. Just remember what he had planned and it would be fine. "I want to talk first, okay?" 

Steve blinked and frowned lightly, but kept his lips tight. Alright, if Tony insisted.

"Okay," Tony nodded, trying to give himself some courage and began to pace around the room. "I know you found my Tumblr account," he said the obvious, struggling to keep his voice firm. "And - and it was not true, you know that, right? I just - research - an experiment to - ahh," Tony quickly got lost in his words, noticing Steve's look changing to a confused one. "I - ah, fuck, fuck, fuck - " Tony couldn't get any coherent words out and stopped and hid his face in hands. He continued to quietly curse, not knowing how to get out of this mess and not lose everything. 

"Babe..."

Tony almost jumped away, when Steve came closer and wrapped arms around him. After a moment of hesitation, Tony buried himself into his soldier's arms, his face pressed against Steve's neck. Probably the last hug he would receive from Steve. This whole thing won't make Avengers stuff awkward at all. What if Steve would quit the team? Tony couldn't imagine not being able to see Steve anymore. He needed him. He would change, he would do better. Steve couldn't break up with him. 

"Of course that I am not breaking up with you," Steve said suddenly, and Tony winced, not realizing he said it out loud. "Is that what you thought?" Steve asked, sounding shocked. Reluctantly, Tony nodded. Somehow he was used to being rejected and walking away from problems was one of the things he did and expected the same happen to him. 

"God, Tony," Steve said in an exasperated huff, not believing how quickly this whole thing could escalate in Tony's mind. Then again, he should know, because Tony did think too much and sometimes didn't stop his thoughts on time, letting them drag him deeper and deeper. "Tony, I am not breaking up with you," Steve said again, just to make sure the words sunk in his boyfriend's head. "And I am sorry," Steve gently put his thumb and forefinger under Tony's chin, encouraging him to eye contact. 'Sorry you turned out to be messed up in the head,' Tony finished in his mind, looking into Steve's blue eyes. 

"I am sorry for barging into your space when you didn't feel ready to share yet," Steve said, closing the distance between them and leaning his forehead against Tony's.

What?

Tony didn't reply, just stared, his brown eyes widening. Steve was... apologizing to him? Not the other way around?

"I read some of your blog," Steve said and Tony panicked again, Steve holding him closer when he felt brunet's body tense, "and I understand how hard it is for you to talk about it and how important it is for you. I really do. If anything, I am... a bit disappointed you didn't tell me. Why didn't you?"

Tony's mouth twisted into a scowl. He was disappointed with himself too, but it was hard. Harder than admitting that he liked being pinned down by Steve, or spanked, as it all seemed... simpler. It was obvious why people who enjoyed it were turned on by it. Tickling wasn't easy to explain. 

"I wanted to," Tony finally spoke, his voice coming out quiet, "I didn't know how," this wasn't a good answer. Tony closed his eyes, not able to look at Steve. "I was embarrassed, I guess."

"Hmmm," Steve hummed in understanding, waiting for Tony to continue, but he didn't say anything more. Tony had no problems with voicing out his needs on his site, but face to face with Steve, he was fumbling and struggling for words. Anonymity gave him a sense of control which was being stripped away from him, layer by layer. Maybe with time, Tony would open more, and it was on Steve's side to nurture that vulnerable mindset until Tony would feel strong enough and confident to voice out his true needs. 

"Then... can you tell me why you like it?" Steve tried, sounding gentle and not judgmental. Keeping an open mind was the key here.

"I don't know," Tony said quickly, sounding defensive. He didn't mean to, but it was stranger than him. He didn't want Steve to judge him, to think less of him, but... It was Steve. Steve who was always so understanding and didn't laugh at him and did his best to keep Tony feel accepted. It won't work if Steve would be the only one willing to share. "I guess," Tony corrected himself, trying to be more open, "I like the trust in it. And closeness," he said, tugging on Steve's clothes and hiding more into his boyfriend, "and, uh, it feels good."

"Feels good?"

"Yeah," Tony admitted, burying his heated face deeper into Steve's neck. "Feels really good. Especially when you are the one ti - doing it."

"Oh," Steve said, carding his fingers through the short hair on the back of Tony's head. Tony shivered, just slightly, from the light touch, smiling against Steve's skin and Steve felt an urge to touch him all over. This time differently, more aware and more intimate, paying closer attention to the reactions. "So... you wanna do it?"

"Do what?"

"You know what."

Tony moved away from Steve, showing a confused face. That kinda felt like mocking him, but Steve's face was honest. And it would certainly change the mood and make Tony feel better about this whole day. "I don't know," Tony said, just to be safe, "do you want to do it?"

"Heck yeah."

"What? You do?" Tony asked, his mouth falling agape at the enthusiasm. 

"Sure. You like it and I like tickling you too. It's a win-win, right?"

Tony started to smile in relief. It was really happening. Steve accepted one of Tony's darkest secrets and even wanted to take part in it. Tony could barely wrap his mind around it, already feeling excited and giddy.

"So?" Steve asked again, eyes sparkling, waiting for permission from his boyfriend.

"If you keep asking, it takes the surprise factor AWAAHHAHA!" Tony's newly found boost of confidence was efficiently cut off when Steve latched hands to his sides and squeezed repeatedly. Tony doubled over in laughter and squirmed away, watching with a pounding heart as Steve followed him, smiling beautifully mischievous. "No, no, no, wait, Steve! STEHEVE!" Tony screeched in laughter when Steve ran forward, pushing Tony on the bed, and falling with him. "ACK! STE - hahaha! Waaait!" Tony wailed when fingers were going up and down his body tickling intensely. When Tony became pink in the face and a little breathless, Steve stopped, leaning in and kissing Tony's smiling lips.

"I love you, babe," Steve whispered, looking at his lover.

"I love you too," Tony answered, his heart hammering from the ticklish rush and all love he had for Steve. 

"Are we good?"

"We are good," Tony assured, still not believing that everything turned out so great. 

"Good," Steve smiled, and just now Tony realized that somehow both of his wrists were in soldier's hold and Steve easily pinned his hands above his head, leaving his torso exposed. "Because now," Steve said, sitting on Tony's thighs and slowly sliding his free hand under Tony's shirt. "I want to test every ticklish spot on you."

"Oh fuhahahck - " Tony wriggled uselessly, his stomach sinking in when Steve gently ran fingertips over the soft skin. "Steve, Steve, pleaheehehehese!"

"This is just your tummy and you already are so ticklish. It is a very promising start."

"Ahhahaha!"

"Oh, is this rib ticklish? How about this one? And this one?"

"GAAA HAHAHA!"

"Oh look, the higher I go, the more you laugh. Sooo, this means that when I do this -"

"PFF HAHAHAHA!"

"That's one ticklish armpit you have, babe! Let's find out if the other one is as ticklish -"

Steve was grinning, watching Tony crumbling and laughing, coming apart under his fingers. Steve was right, it was a win-win for both of them.

***

"You should write on your Tumblr."

"Huh?"

"You should," Steve repeated, rolling on completely naked Tony and kissing his lips, "write on your," a kiss on the chin, "Tumblr," Steve finished, blowing a raspberry into Tony's neck.

"HAAHAHA! Stoooop," Tony tried to swat Steve away, feeling too blissful to move. Of course that a long, intimate tickle session changed into an amazing make out. It was incredible how the tickle foreplay increased their appetite and how wonderfully responsive Tony became. 

Steve laughed and rolled on his side, looking at Tony with adoration. Laughing made Tony ten times more attractive in Steve's eyes, and Tony was off the scale to start with. 

"I am serious, babe," Steve tried again, gently poking his finger all over Tony's bare belly, making him squeak funnily and curl up, "write on your Tumblr. Everyone has to be worried."

"Ah hahaha... Ohkahay!" Tony agreed, shielding his stomach with one hand and using the other one to reach for his phone. "Uhh... Should I update and delete it?" Tony asked. With everything working out so great, there was no reason for him to keep that account. No more secret lusting, when he had it all in real life.

"If you want to," Steve said truthfully, "or maybe you can keep it for a bit longer because I might need some inspiration on how to take you apart."

"Ahhh, not sure if I want to give you access to that sort of power," Tony teased, opening the app. "Huh, people kinda hate you."

Steve shrugged, understanding that what he wrote, did sound menacing, even if it wasn't his intention. "Just write that we are fine and your boyfriend plans on fulfilling your each and every one tickle fantasy."

"You do?" Tony asked, voice trembling with excitement.

"All of them, babe," Steve assured, smiling broadly. He had remembered some of the things he read and gifs he saw, and could easily imagine Tony on the receiving end. 

Looking enthusiastic, Tony got to writing. Soon, Steve got up and leaned over Tony's shoulder, looking at the screen.

'Hi, guys. Sorry for the sudden silence but as you saw we had a situation here. It is all good now, me and BF talked, and he turned to be all sweet about it, not bragging, I just had my first tickle session and it was amazing! So, I just wanted to give you an update, that I am fine. More than fine. My BF said that I can keep this Tumblr if I want to and he will even use it as an inspiration, so aaaah, can't wait. Just don't give him any ideas! I am gonna talk to you all soon, but for now, I and my BF have plans. See you later!'

After the post got published, Tony and Steve didn't have to wait for a reaction.

'AAAAH! I AM SO GLAD EVERYTHING IS FINE! YOU BOYS HAVE FUN NOW!'

'Awesome, couple goals.'

'That's great, dude, but I hope your BF apologized.'

"That's the one that doesn't like me, right?" Steve squinted his eyes, pointing at the last comment. Tony laughed and nosed Steve's cheek playfully.

"It is okay, I like you," he smiled. "Do you want to have a nickname? That will make it much easier for me to write when you are involved."

"Um, sure," Steve said, not entirely sold on the idea, but not wanting to shot Tony's idea down. "You call yourself Spare Parts Man, right?" Steve asked and Tony nodded. "Soooo... How about you call me Iron Man?"

Tony's smile dropped in surprise, and he laughed mockingly. "Seriously, dude?"

"Hey, the darkest place is under the candle," Steve said, sounding defensive.

"Fine," Tony agreed, rolling his eyes dramatically. He reblogged the post and added an update.

'BF wants you to call him Iron Man. I know, lame.'

"Ack!" Tony almost dropped his phone when Steve scoldingly pinched his side. Soon the first comments came.

'Ah you sound like a superhero couple, how cute!'

'I am shipping you both. #relationshipgoals'

'Wow, your BF is not very creative, isn't he? But fine, let it be IRON MAN.'

"Write to this one that I don't like them either," Steve hissed, looking at the last comment. 

Tony laughed and turned to Steve, pressing their lips together in a kiss. Long and sweet. The kind of kiss that was the perfect happy ending to a tickle kink coming out story.

"Oh, interesting!" Steve suddenly said, ending the kiss too soon and looking at one of the comments, smiling wickedly. 

"What is int - noooooo!" Tony wailed, understanding the reason behind the smile. It was stronger than him and Tony started to panic. "It is a lie, Steve! Don't believe the lieeee no no aaah HELP!"

Steve laughed, wrestling Tony down and pinning his hands once again. If Tony was already getting this worked up, there was no way Steve would back up.

"No, please!" Tony giggled, kicking his legs, trying to wriggle away, as Steve's menacingly moving fingers were getting closer and closer. "I cahahahan't!"

Somehow, Steve didn't believe him. Instead, he believed the comment.

'Hey, this is for Iron Man - I am sure you know already, that SP's stomach is really ticklish, but did you try tickling his belly button specifically? From what SP writes it is a very ticklish outie. Have fun!'

When Steve pressed his finger over Tony's outie delicately and Tony burst into giggling, almost maniacal laughter, Steve was in heaven. It was settled, Tony was keeping his blog for further tips for Steve. 

#stony #steve rogers #tony stark #superhusbands #stevetony #tickling #tickle kink #tickle fic #upperbody tickling #fanfic #fanfiction

[patandpran]

Coffee and Coding 

A PangxWave Coffee Shop Au...

Wave was on the hunt for Wifi. That’s all he needed. He was in the middle of an extremely complicated coding assignment when his internet crashed at his apartment. If he didn’t get the assignment done in time, there was no telling what his Professor was going to think of him and he certainly wasn’t going to get the TA position he wanted so badly.

He stopped out of his apartment building and stalked the streets for a ‘free wifi’ sign. The first place he came across was a coffee shop. He wasn’t particularly a Java consumer but he was kind of desperate so he walked inside, his computer bag slung over his shoulder and walked up to the counter. He looked up at the menu and decided to order something completely at random because he had no idea what all of the different drinks were. To Wave, coffee was coffee. There didn’t need to anything fancy about it.

And yet, when he looked down from the menu, he almost dropped his computer bag and his order flew from his mind. The young man standing behind the counter was smiling at him so openly and unabashedly that it made Wave’s breath hitch. No one, especially not a complete stranger, had looked at him this way before. Wave’s eyes fell to the Barista’s name tag, which read: ‘Pang’.

When Wave did not immediately share his order, Pang smirked slightly and muttered, “Do you know what you want? I know our menu can be kind of overwhelming…”

“Uh….” Wave usually prided himself on being articulate but he could not seem to string a coherent sentence together.

“I’m going to be honest with you, I just started working here but, if you trust me, I can just make something and bring it out to you.” Pang suggested gently, noticing that Wave seemed to be indecisive.

Wave nodded slowly and held out phone to pay by ‘tap’ but Pang held out a hand to stop him. Pang explained, “You seem stressed. It’s on me. I’ll just cash it out as one of my practice drinks but, in return, you have to tell me how it is. Deal?”

“Deal.” Wave confirmed, still in a bit of a haze because of Pang’s kindness.

Pang nodded toward the tables in the coffee shop. “Go get set up and I’ll bring the drink to you in a bit. Our wifi password is ‘CoffeeisaGift’”

Wave nodded again and made his way over to a table to set up his computer. How the hell was he going to be able to focus on his work when Pang was so naturally distracting? Wave cursed himself for finding the Barista so interesting.

As much as he knew that he needed to get work done, Wave couldn’t help himself. He kept staring back at Pang who had an adorable look of concentration etched across his face as he worked on Wave’s drink. There was only so much Wave could do about concentration when a cute guy was going out of his way to make a drink especially for him. But, alas, he had work to do so he finally refocused and got to work on his assignment.

“Sorry it took so long. I wanted to practice some foam art.”

Wave looked up from his screen to see Pang hovering behind it, a steaming cup of coffee clutched between his hands. Pang had a nervous look on his face, his brows knotted together, and Wave had the sudden urge to reach up and smooth them out. There was no reason for Pang to be nervous - Wave would gladly drink anything he made.

“No problem. I was able to get a lot of work done.” Wave shared and a grin spread across his lips as Pang set down the mug to the side of his computer. “Thanks again for making me the drink.”

Wave looked down and saw a smiley face floating in foam at the top of the drink. . When he looked up, he saw Pang studying him expectantly. Pang obviously wanted to get Wave’s verdict on the drink and even though Wave was not a coffee connoisseur, he was the king of opinions.

He brought the cup to his mouth and took a small sip, making sure that he didn’t burn his tongue. The taste was sweet but subtle and shockingly the taste of coffee was not too prevalent, which Wave actually preferred. He put the cup down and looked up to Pang, “That is delicious. What’s in it?”

A look of amusement crossed Pang’s face and Wave wondered what could possibly be so funny about what he had said. Pang noticed Wave’s confusion and clarified, “You have a foam moustache. It’s kind of adorable.”

Before he could even process Pang’s words, Pang had grabbed a napkin and was wiping Wave’s upper lip with foam. No one, especially a stranger, had been in Wave’s space like this before but Wave was shocked to find himself completely comfortable with Pang’s presence. When Pang was done, he pulled away the napkin.

“It’s a latte with coconut milk.” Pang explained. “Natural sweetness from the milk and because I wasn’t sure if you were okay with lactose or not, I thought I’d go with an alternative.”

“T-thank you.” Wave managed to get out, sliding his hands around the mug once again. “It really is good, though. How long have you been working here?”

Pang seemed surprised that Wave wanted to continue the conversation and he checked behind him to see if there was any new customers lingering. When he saw none, Pang pulled out the chair and sat across from Wave at the table.

“I’ve been working here for just a few weeks.” Pang explained. “I go to Ritdha University so I live in the area too.”

“I go there too!” Wave expressed with a bit more enthusiasm than he probably should have. “What’s your major?”

“Oh, cool! I’m surprised I haven’t seen you around. Political Science.” Pang answered. “I want to be a lawyer or maybe work in government some day. What about you?”

“Computer science.” Wave responded and took another sip of his drink. “Actually, that’s why I’m here… my Wifi from my apartment went down so I had to come here to complete an assignment on time.”

“Oh, you mean you didn’t just come for the coffee?” Pang teased and leaned over to see what Wave was working on. “What’s the assignment?”

“Coding…” Wave felt his cheeks get hot. “Uh… it’s not that interesting…Geeky stuff.”

“That’s not geeky.” Pang sat back down and respected Wave’s privacy. “I think there’s nothing more intriguing than someone who is openly passionate about what they do, especially when it’s something that most people might not understand.”

Wave felt himself relax significantly because of Pang’s words. Wave tried to recall a time where he had instantly felt so connected to someone and couldn’t think of anything. There was something about Pang’s smile and energy that put Wave at ease.

“Why do you want to be in Politics?” Wave wondered, wanting to divert the conversation away from himself but also wanting to know more about Pang.

Pang got a serious look on his face and chewed his lip for a moment, clearly trying to put his thoughts together before sharing them with Wave. This was a quality that Wave couldn’t help but admire. Pang was really thinking about his response before he shared it.

“I want to help people.” Pang finally answered. “I think that sometimes people don’t have a voice because of certain societal limitations. I want to help people find that voice and help the world become a bit more just and equal.”

Wave was surprised by how mature Pang’s answer was, considering how young he looked. Wave figured they were around the same age. Pang had really thought about it while Wave had chosen technology because he had an affinity for it and had always been told that it would be a lucrative career path. His answer compared to Pang’s seemed juvenile and selfish.

“Wow, we’ve been talking this whole time and I still don’t know you name…” Pang prompted when Wave did not respond right away.

“I’m, uh, Wave.” Wave spat out, having been planning his response and compliment about Pang’s initial answer but felt more comfortable answering Pang’s question anyway.

“I’m Pang.” Pang shared, pointing to his name tag. “But I, uh, guess you already knew that. Anyway, sorry for chatting your ear off, I guess you probably need to get back to work instead of being distracted by an annoying Barista.”

“You’re not annoying.” Wave protested, wanting to make sure that his awkwardness was not coming across as disinterest. “The drink is amazing. Thanks again.”

Pang got up to his feet and smiled at Wave, “Well, I’m glad to hear that I’m not as horrible as I thought I was at making coffee. I should probably get back to work anyway…”

“O-okay.” Wave murmured, slightly disappointed, but he tried to keep his composure neutral.

Pang nodded and made his way back behind the counter and returned to his work tasks. Wave returned to working on his assignment, sipping away at the drink Pang had made him every so often as he got closer and closer to completing it. He was so lost in a world of binary that he did not even notice how dark it was getting outside. When he was finally done, he looked up from the screen and noticed that there no other customers left behind in the coffee shop.

Wave went to take one final sip of his drink and was surprised to find that it had gone cold. He drank it anyway and started to pack his things up, trying to see out of his periphery if Pang was still behind the counter or had already gone off shift. Wave picked up the mug to return it to the counter.

“All done?”

Pang appeared in front of Wave so suddenly that the mug slipped through his fingers in surprise. Thankfully, Pang reacted quickly enough and was able to catch the mug in his hands. Wave winced apologetically as Pang placed the cup on the counter.

“Not so good with your hands, are you?” Pang shared in a suggestive tone and Wave’s eyes grew wide in shock. Pang registered Wave’s reaction and quickly clarified, “I was kidding. Sorry. I shouldn’t be making jokes like that when we’ve only known each other for, like, five minutes.”

Wave’s gaze dropped to the floor to avoid Pang’s but after a quick breath, he looked up again and shared, “No worries. And, yah, I got the assignment done so I can sleep easy tonight… speaking of… are you supposed to be closed already?”

Pang smiled sheepishly and shrugged, “You just looked so focused and I did some extra deep cleaning. I really didn’t mind staying behind a bit later than usual.”

“You didn’t have to do that.” Wave muttered, a bit embarrassed that he had received special treatment and likely inconvenienced Pang.

“I know.” Pang confirmed, staring intently at Wave. “But I wanted to.”

“Oh…” Wave, once again, was taken aback by how straightforward Pang was. There was no BS, Pang seemed to the type of person who went for what they wanted, when they wanted. Wave was quite envious of that.

“Sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable.” Pang shared, “There’s just something about you that makes me want to get to know you more. You’re kind of an enigma, like a mystery I want to solve.”

“N-no it’s okay.” Wave assured him and a soft smile played on his lips. “I’m just not used to this kind of attention, especially not from someone like you…”

“Someone like me?” Pang echoed, clearly confused.

Wave considered his words carefully before responding, “Someone so confident, kind, friendly… I usually only get approached by people who want something from me… like, help on an assignment, want me to fix their computer, that kind of thing….You don’t need help with homework, do you?”

Pang chuckled lightly. “No, I think I’m okay. I’m sorry that’s your experience though. It probably makes it hard for you to trust people…”

“Yah…” Wave agreed, shocked by how quickly Pang seemed to be able to figure him out.

“Well, if you’re willing to take a chance on me, I would love to earn your trust.” Pang stated plainly. “Coffee’s great and all, but, would you maybe want to grab a drink with me sometime?”

Wave was at a complete loss of words. Was Pang, the adorable Barista, asking him out? He didn’t want to jump to conclusions too quickly so he tried to play it cool. He managed to get out, “Um, sure.”

Pang pulled a napkin from the dispenser on the counter and scrawled his number on it before passing it to Wave. “No pressure. Call or text me if you’re interested.”

Wave nodded, in a bit of a daze, and Pang guided him to the front door of the coffee shop, obviously needing to do some other last minute duties to close up the coffee shop. Wave walked through the door and turned to face Pang, who was hovering on the threshold, beaming at Wave.

“Thank you for the drink.” Wave murmured, and felt his cheeks grow hot before he blurted out, “I’ll text you later on tonight.”

Pang’s eyes lit up before he nodded, “See you soon, Wave. I look forward to getting to know more about you…”

With that, Pang disappeared back into the shop and locked the door behind him.

Wave, who had been so determined that the universe was against him when his Wifi stopped working that morning now was quite sure that he was meant to stumble upon that coffee shop on that particular day…

The universe might have taken his Wifi but it had given him the gift of Pang.

#pangwave #pang x wave #the gifted graduation #tgg #the gifted #my writing #cass writes

[ink-and-flame]

Kinktober Day 10: Better than the Day Job

Kinktober Day 10 Prompts: Prostitution (actual) ~ Hairbrush spankings ~ Over the-knee spanking Fandom: Bright Tags: Exophilia, Prostitution, male escort, spankings, first time, bdsm, reader fic Pairing: Orc/Human, Nick/Reader

[Author’s note: Look. I don’t know why I am like this, I just am. I am why we can’t have nice things. It has been a while since I have done a reader fic, so please excuse any issues with tense.]

The world was a strange and scary place sometimes. You lived your life, kept your head down, worked to keep yourself afloat, took freelance jobs where you could just to make some extra cash, and tried to stay out of trouble. The neighborhood you were in wasn’t the best, but it also wasn’t the worst. It was, however, all that you could afford. The best you could do, an apartment above a shop. The noise wasn’t so bad late at night, the weekends were a bit stressful though as it was crowded and sometimes leaving your place made you nervous with all the people hanging around.

After time, you had begun to recognize the jerseys and the jackets. That specific color of orange, it was the local orc clan turned gang. You didn’t really know much about the Fogteeth, you knew enough to know to just leave them be. They really hadn’t been in your area when you moved in, now you couldn’t throw a rock without hitting one. Not that you would, you weren’t eager to get shot for throwing rocks, plus it was kind of rude. 

You had never had any issues with orcs in the past, and gang or no gang, you weren’t about to start now. You figured if you left them alone, they would leave you alone, and so far that had worked out beautifully. They still made you nervous, but the reality was that almost any group or crowd kind of did.

It took time to get used to all the staring, hearing them speak their own language, knowing they were probably saying things about you as you walked by. Or maybe you were paranoid, maybe they were just talking about their days, or sharing recipes. Still, when they stared and then spoke to each other, it felt like it was about you and you just had to pretend not to notice. 

Life was weird, but it wasn’t unpleasant. There were still some things missing from your life, and while you could ease some of the loneliness with online chat and meeting up with friends, they couldn’t really help you with all of it. You didn’t have a friend with benefits option to go to, and even if you did, what you were seeking was something you weren’t sure you wanted your friends to even know about. 

Again, you blamed the internet. Reading erotic stories had always been a pleasant way for you to spend some alone time, but the further down that rabbit hole you fell, the more interested you became. The kink stories had slowly, over time, become your favorite and you had been fantasizing for months about strong hands holding you down. Of orders being given and rough sex. Spanking in particular had gotten you to squirming more often than not, even your dreams were filled with it. While you had no practical experience, your mind was happy to try and fill in the gaps, which was how you ended up where you were now.

There were some things in life you had never done before, lots of things actually, but the one thing you thought you would never actually do is hire an escort. Which really was just a fancy word for prostitute, but it still helped the idea go down a little better in your head. This was much easier than cruising down the street, and the website promised discreet sessions with trained professionals. You felt that going through a service was going to be safer than trying to pick up a stranger and hoping they weren’t a murderer in disguise. 

Their website was nice, professional looking, and quite well organized. You could search by a variety of criteria based on what was most important to you. Skipping over gender and race, you looked for anything that would filter by kink. It took a bit to find what you were looking for, mostly because you were still learning the technology. Each profile had a picture, though because your internet was being a bit slow, not every picture was loading or loading fully. At the end of the day, looks didn’t matter, you wanted something specific and that was what was important. 

Scrolling through the options you wavered back and forth between a nice female domme, and a male dom. Both had their advantages. A woman might be a bit more understanding of your first time, but that wasn’t guaranteed. In the end you went with male, because that's where your fantasies had gone. You wanted big strong hands manhandling you. Filtering on just the male profiles you had narrowed it down to two. After removing the sadists, as you just weren’t ready for that much pain. You were stuck between two that listed themselves as sensual dominants with the option for daddy dominant scenes. 

All in all it was a little confusing, you had no idea what all the different types of dominants really meant, and at the end of the day, sensual sounded right to you. You didn’t want someone that was too much into pain, this was your first time after all. After flitting back and forth you flipped a coin, random was better than no choice at all and since neither picture would load you couldn’t use appearance as a tie breaker. 

Jak Blackburn it was, which was a strange way to spell a name but it was probably supposed to be Jack and ended up being misspelled or was just an unusual spelling. It was likely that this wasn’t this guys actual name. Chances were he wanted some privacy. If you were an escort you certainly wouldn’t use your real name. 

Now you just had to book the session and hope you didn’t chicken out and cancel it. Which you almost did the moment after you saw it processing which forced you to step away from your computer. It only took a couple of minutes to receive a notification on your phone confirming that your payment method was valid and offering a list of scheduling options. You were surprised to see a block of time available later this evening. Were you really ready so soon?

Surprisingly, you guessed you were since you clicked it and confirmed it. Your method of payment would not be charged until after the session. You would have to provide confirmation of services received, but they required a valid payment method on file in the event that someone might try to get out of paying. You weren’t too worried, though you hoped the charge showed up as something discreet on your bank statement. You really did not want to have to explain that if anyone should ever see it. 

Feeling nervous you decided to clean up your place, in a mad panicked rush. Not that it was crazy messy, but it was a little cluttered and you were embarrassed by the thought of some stranger judging how you lived your life. After that you decided on a shower to freshen up, that would leave you only a few minutes to get dressed, but you weren’t worried about what to wear as you assumed you wouldn’t be wearing it long. Or that seemed like it would be the plan. 

Settling on an oversized tshirt and some shorts you sat on your couch sipping a drink as you stared at your phone. Part of you hoped he cancelled, part of you were afraid he might. You were excited and nervous, so much so that when the doorbell rang you almost tossed your drink across the room. As it was you only spilled it a little bit. Setting down the glass you got up and went to the door opening it. 

Of all the things you had been expecting, the tall orc in a suit was not it. There was something about him, something unusual but also familiar. It nagged at you, tugging at your mind, but you couldn’t quite place it. Realizing you were just staring you stepped aside and gestured him in. Your face was flush with embarrassment. 

“You seem surprised?” 

His voice was deep, quiet, gentle sounding. Closing the door you turned to him and nodded. “Sorry,  I didn’t mean to stare. I have been having issues with my internet and the pictures on the profiles weren’t loading for most of them.”

He looked surprised and his body language changed. “We can cancel at no charge. You should have informed them of the issue. I fully understand.”

He was so polite but you were a little confused. “I don’t need to cancel. I didn’t go into this with any kind of ideal in mind. Looks really aren’t what is important to me. Would you like to sit down so we can discuss?”

The orc nodded and sat on the chair near the couch. He set his bag on the floor and looked at you, his expression guarded, but gentle. He didn’t look angry, more confused than anything. You smiled awkwardly at him as you sat down and pulled your legs under you. 

“So, um, this is something I have never done before. Uh, hiring an escort I mean. Well I haven’t really done any of it before and this seemed like the most logical course? I know that sounds weird but I felt that going through a website and trying to hire a professional was safer than trying to meet some rando off the internet from some dating app or chat room and hope he actually knew what he was doing, and wasn’t a murderer or something.”

“That makes sense. You chose a good site. Everyone on it has to go through a vetting process. If you are concerned I have some credentials here I can show you.” 

Shaking your head you smiled. “The profiles were pretty thorough and linked to several pieces of documentation. I am certain that you can do what your profile says you can do, or I get my money back.”

Jak nodded and braced his forearms on his knees and leaned forward. “Since you didn’t know I was an orc, I know this isn’t that. So what am I here for? I don’t want to make any assumptions, but I brought enough of a variety of items with me that we should be ok, but I can also improvise.”

“Um, well, see.” Now you were feeling shy and nervous all over again. “I um. I want someone to spank me. I mean I want other things, but I feel like maybe I should start there before I get too crazy you know?” Well it was out. The cat was no longer laying comfortably in the bag. 

Jak smiled, a soft smile. “I see, I can do that. Are you wanting any kind of sexual contact or just the spanking?” 

“Oh.. uh.” Well that was not the question you thought you would struggle with. You looked him over and found that he was attractive to you. Not that you had ever really looked at an orc that way, but you hadn’t exactly not looked either. They tended to be tall, muscular, strong, those were ideal, but with Jak, it was simply his eyes. Despite the situation, his eyes held genuine kindness. Part of you wanted to know him, the real him, and not what you were paying for.  “Do I have to decide right now?”

“It would help. There can be a sexual aspect to spanking and it would help me to know if you want any kind of sexual contact at all, or just the spanking with no other kind of touch.”

“OH. ok, I thought you meant like penetrative sex type sexual contact. Um. I don’t know? I honestly don’t even know if I will like being spanked.” You shrugged looking a little embarrassed. 

Jak rolled his shoulders and took a deep breath. “Ok, we will need to take this very slow and keep it simple. Instead of a safe word we will use color code. Red means full stop, the scene ends and does not continue. Yellow is pause, green is good to go after a pause. I will need to warm you up first. That means clothing stays on, and I will strike you gently through your clothes before we work up to clothes coming  off.” The orc paused. “Would you be willing to tell me the rest of the fantasy, or what made you decide to finally try?”

“Oh, well I guess I just have been having these dreams for the last few months and they have been making me a little crazy. I don’t want to be in control. I want to be held down, to feel strong hands touching me. I want it rough and to feel maybe a little bit helpless.” Your face was bright red now and you were fidgeting a bit while not making eye contact. “I know, it is probably super cliche and silly, but that is what brought me to this decision.”

“I don’t think it is weird, and I am flattered that you chose me, even without seeing me. I hope that I can help you fulfill some of your fantasies and needs.” Jak leaned down and grabbed his bag. “Would you like to move this to the bedroom?”

Standing up you lead Jak to your bedroom and sat on the bed looking up at him. He really was quite tall and built. The suit somehow just made him look more imposing and while you still couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe you knew him, you also weren’t sure you cared. He didn’t seem to recognize you, or if he did he hid it well, so whatever this familiarity was, it wasn’t going to be an issue. 

Sitting on the bed with you he reached out and grasped your hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. “Jak is the name I use for this, it isn’t my real name. Normally I don’t give my real name out, but you seem like a trustworthy person and I would actually like to hear you using my real name if you are comfortable with it.”

This was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. Somehow you had made him feel comfortable with you and you were now curious what his name could be. Maybe that would give you the clue you needed to know who he was. “Of course, and I will keep it confidential, along with everything else we do tonight.”

“My name is Nick, and I appreciate the discretion.” 

Nick, well that really didn’t narrow anything down. It didn’t really help at all, it only made that feeling that you should know stronger. Deciding to ignore it you squeezed his hand. “Well it is nice to meet you Nick, you can call me anything you want to.” You laughed and blushed covering your face with your free hand. 

“Well then, I suppose I will just have to call you princess.” His voice was soothing as he pulled you closer up into his lap. His large hand rubbing your back in a soothing motion. “Would you like to lay across my lap for this sweetheart?”

You nodded swiftly, not trusting your voice and squeaked a bit when he easily flipped you onto your stomach and draped you across his legs. He hadn’t even strained himself, and you weren’t exactly a waif or light. Your thighs squeezed together at the thought of just how strong he really was. 

When he said he would start slow, he clearly meant it. The strikes were slow and gentle at first. He seemed to know how to control his strength well enough that at first it barely felt like a tap. Soon enough you were feeling warm and squirming in his lap. So far it had been rather pleasant and your mind was running away with possible scenarios on how this night could go from here. 

“I think we are ready to remove some clothing don’t you princess?” 

“Yes sir?” Your voice was hesitant, you weren’t sure how to respond or if it was even right to call him sir. He did make an almost growling sound so you couldn’t gauge off that, but maybe it was a good sound. 

You wiggled off his lap and stripped down to just your shirt and underwear. “Is this ok?”

“If that is where you are comfortable, then yes it is perfect.” Pulling you back across his lap Nick began again with gentle taps.

Now with only your underwear as a barrier you could feel those strikes a little more now. The pain wasn’t  uncomfortable, it didn’t even really hurt. There was more of a warm feeling than a feeling of pain. When his tempo increased you felt the first sting of a real strike and it made you jump a bit. The sound you made surprised you, a moan was not what you expected, but that was what came out. You were beginning to come to terms with how much you actually liked this. 

Nick continued to spank you, slowly, gently, increasing the speed and strength of the strikes as you wiggled and moaned on his lap. The more he hit you, the more you began to like it. The wetness between your thighs was noticeable now, at least you noticed it, and you were certain he did too, how could he not. 

You weren’t the only one aroused. You could feel something hard pressing into you, and there was really only one thing that could be. If what you were feeling was any indication, Nick wasn’t small in that department and that just made you squeeze your legs tighter. This time when he spoke, his voice was more gruff, deeper, husky in a way.

“Are you ready to take off the rest sweetheart?”

Standing up on shaky legs you nodded as he braced you while you tried to remove your clothes. It took a few tries, but you were naked in front of him now. You wanted to be shy, but you were far too aroused to care, and he wasn’t being paid to find you attractive. That alone made things a little easier. Though you had almost forgotten you were paying for this.

“You are quite beautiful. I can tell you are aroused, so I will ask again. Would you like any form of sexual contact?”

Well he was certainly not beating around any bushes and you hesitated before nodding slowly. “Maybe go slow?”

Nick nodded and pulled you back down into his lap. His large rough hands caressed over your bare bottom and you felt a thrill go through you. Again he started with small strikes, but this time he started a little harder than before. It didn’t take you long to get worked up again as his strikes fell faster and harder. The sound of skin hitting skin rang through the bedroom and you felt yourself clenching and throbbing. A desperate noise in your throat somewhere between a moan and a whine. 

“You are so beautiful like this, so very beautiful. Can you handle more? I have a paddle with me, or if you have a hair brush?” His voice had a deep growl to it when he spoke.

“Hairbrush.” You panted and made a tiny sound of distress when he lifted you with one arm and lowered you onto the bed. 

He came back from your bathroom holding your brush. It had an oval shape and was made of wood. You had never looked at it that way before, as an item you could use in a sexual way. After this, you might need to buy a new brush because you weren’t going to be able to see it as anything but a paddle. 

Nick lifted you back onto his lap, again using only one arm, and if you didn’t know better you would think he was trying to show off. Of course any thoughts in your head disappeared the moment the brush impacted your bottom. You cried out, loudly, as he began with slow deliberate strikes. He was more gentle than when he had been using his hand, and that was a blessing as this stung. It hurt a lot more, but it still felt good. 

Your core clenched desperately around nothing as you moaned and begged, you didn’t even know what you were begging for, but you needed something. There was a moment when you felt nothing the brush no longer hitting you when you felt Nicks hand press against your back holding you harder to his lap. His other hand pushed your thighs apart and his thick fingers slid over your clit and folds. Your cries became more desperate as pleasure shot through you. 

Whimpering and whining you continued to beg as you finally felt one of his fingers push into you, his thumb rubbing circles over your clit. It was embarrassing, or it would have been embarrassing if you had two brain cells to rub together, how quickly you came from just that stimulation alone. 

Laying across his lap limp, panting, shaking slightly, Nick lifted you up and cradled you in his lap. You snuggled into him and now that the pleasure was fading could feel just how much your ass hurt. 

“I have some lotion I can rub on you. Just lay here, I will get that and some water for you.” 

Nick laid you gently onto the bed and moved out of the room into the kitchen to get some water from your fridge. He set it on the nightstand and dug through his bag producing the lotion. First he rubbed it on you, making sure it soaked into the skin before helping you sit up and holding the water while you took sips. 

“What about you?” your voice came out in a croak. 

His arousal had been, and still was obvious. How could he make you feel so good and not have the chance to feel good himself. 

“You are sweet, but that isn’t what you are paying me for. This is about you, not me.”

“You are right Nick, I am paying, and I want you to feel good too. Show me how?”

There was something fragile in his eyes as his expression softened. You still couldn’t place who he was, but in that moment, who he was, was someone you wanted desperately to know better. 

“Please?” 

#exophilia #Orc x Human #orc boyfriend #bright fanfiction #Kinktober 2020 #bright 2017

[asherlockstudy]

I got into gmm fandom this year and I love these 2 old men extremely, and I recently read your discussions about Link's psyche and the ear biscuits commentary and I totally relate to you. I couldn't find anything that you wrote about the competition eb#255. I'm very interested in your thoughts on this particular episode since your ideas on their psychology really fascinates me. Will you please share?

First of all, thank you for your kind words!

The truth is I certainly have an opinion on the competition episode but I was hesitant to post anything about it because I wasn’t sure whether that would push any boundaries. Since you asked, I am going to tell you, but I would like to stress to any MB who will read this that this theory / analysis works through a Rhink perspective or at least the perspective of an intense friendship, which I think their friendship is anyway, so you need to be in that mindset from the beginning. This is obviously my personal take on their conversation; the way the puzzle pieces fit inside my mind if you will. It can be as far from the truth as Rhink itself in general. Technically it can be read out of the Rhink lens but IMO it makes more sense this way, so I’m gonna tag this only as #rhink. 

Now let’s actually go to the topic in question. Rhett and Link are both competitive but in different ways and for different reasons and to different targets.

Rhett is naturally competitive. Or maybe not naturally per se, as I think this competitiveness was planted inside him by his father. His father expected him to be good at everything, an expectation that Rhett then internalized and simply never escaped from. His competitiveness might be maximized by feelings of insecurity and self-consciousness. If Rhett cares so much what people think of him, it’s only natural that he wants to ensure that people will think highly of him and that requires him to be good, look good and always perform well. The more Rhett loves and is loved by a person, he’s sooomewhat more relaxed in revealing his weaknesses. Rhett is always competitive but he’s less competitive with his close friends and family than with strangers. Rhett would take 100 defeats from Link than one from any other youtuber. And like he said, Rhett doesn’t mind losing to his sons because he wants them to do well and because, duh, they are McLaughlins and they are proof success still runs in HIS family.

Link is insecure too but handled it for the most part of his life in a completely different way. I have the impression that until 5-6 years ago Link had resigned and lived defeated inside his insecurity. His own insecurity stems from lack of self-worth, which probably stems from feelings of abandonness in his childhood. Let alone that if there’s any truth to the queer!Link theory, he also felt socially and religiously alienated from everyone around him, most importantly Rhett, and all this suffered in silence. This is why his insecurity is associated mostly with the people close to him and not strangers. Link doesn’t care much if random people think poorly of him which is why he’s not self-conscious and can talk to people. But Link is hurt a lot if a person he loves a lot doubts him or mocks him or simply doesn’t  regard him very highly. He has a primal fear of getting taken in, abandoned or betrayed. He’s grown to become a suspicious person, often entertaining the worse case scenario, fearing that a person he loves could actually not love or respect him back as sincerely. As an example, from everything they’ve said I have the impression Link adored Rhett when they were children. He looked up to him and Rhett was some sort of role model for him. Link didn’t have many other friends and certainly not others like Rhett and the rest of his time he spent mostly alone in his home. Meanwhile, Rhett had more variety in his life: he had other friends, including Ben whom he admired so much, hobbies and an obsession with girls. So it’s safe to assume that Link was more “there” for Rhett than Rhett was “there” for him, without that meaning IN ANY WAY that Rhett didn’t love him as much. But Link couldn’t know that - and when Rhett was busying himself with something else, his feelings of abandonness and lack of self-worth intensified.

I think Link never escaped from these feelings.There were some GMM episodes where Link has implied that he often feels Rhett takes him for granted and shouldn’t. In short, Link loathes that he feels uncertain in his friendship with Rhett whereas Rhett feels perfectly sure in it. This, especially at a point 4-5 years ago, when Link started changing stylistically and in the way he carried himself (we can only guess why), it was also the time Link’s efforts to fight that feeling of defeat especially around Rhett reached their peak.

I trust Rhett’s input in this. I don’t doubt Rhett senses competitiveness coming from Link’s side. What Rhett might not understand is that Link is not globally competitive but mostly towards certain people, including him, first and foremost.  Things such as vanity, overt enthusiasm when winning, “OOOOH HA-HA-HA-HA” when Rhett got insulted, “I prefer time with my wife”, “I can’t be always there for you”, “I have other friends beside you Rhett” are some random examples of this overcompensation that is the unconventional competitiveness Link feels against Rhett. “Against” is a strong word though because I believe Link doesn’t do any of this to bring Rhett down but rather to go up and be on the same level as him. NOTE: I don’t believe Link is in any way lower, I believe Link fears this is the case. Link dreams of an entirely equal and balanced relationship between them, not because it isn’t so, but because he has invested so much in Rhett that he constantly fears everything he can lose. He wants Rhett to look up to him, to admire him so that he can keep him, and moreover keep him eternally interested and intrigued. In short, he wants Rhett to feel the way he feels about him and he thinks this cannot be as long as Rhett takes him for granted or doesn’t take his skills, mind, virtues and looks seriously. Furthermore, his tendencies to take most of the control in their job and be a perfectionist could also be connected to all that and increase his anxiety associated with the stability of their job.

The problem is that Rhett perhaps doesn’t understand the motive behind Link’s behaviour and interprets it as plain old competitiveness. He’s however, as I felt in the podcast, troubled by it being targeted to him. A remark like “I have other good friends too” is something that makes Link feel more independent from Rhett but Rhett could occasionally get hurt and think “Okay but why does he have to say this to me?”.

This unavoidably is channeled in their business too. A duo of internet celebrities? That’s like the recipe of guaranteed failure! Even non-competitive people have destroyed their businesses and friendships this way. What Rhett and Link have managed so far is world record. Part of their success is how open they are to each other about how they feel. In fact, it was very healthy of Rhett to confess openly that he has some level of “mild envy” about Link doing well in various aspects of the show. This means that Rhett sat down when he experienced these feelings, had a talk with himself and reached the conclusion that he was very happy Link was doing well. He just felt he had to push himself to be as good - not better -  so that he would not feel bad about himself contributing in this show, in this business. And in short, Rhett feels he need to compete with Link in being as likable to the viewers. I consider this totally understandable.

Link was reluctant to speak openly throughout the whole episode. And that was because his answer was not that easy. From everything he said, I was positively surprised that it seemed Link has it all laid out very clearly in his mind - how he acts and why. He just wasn’t willing to explain, particularly in public. This becomes clear towards the end of the podcast - when Rhett is essentially about to lose his mind because Link denies everything, Link starts to say something only to stop and decide he shouldn’t do it eventually. More importantly, Link adds in the end that Rhett made the big mistake to base his understanding of Link’s competitiveness in minor conventional things such as games and job performance. Link said that Rhett was stripping their relationship off of way too many parameters that he wasn’t taking into consideration to reach a valid conclusion. So indeed Link’s competitiveness is a very personal topic with deep roots and IS connected mostly (if not exclusively) to his relationship with Rhett. Link doesn’t want to be better than Rhett either - he wants to be as good as Rhett and be liked by the viewers. Not for the viewers’ sake but in order to rub it in Rhett’s face later. Again, he doesn’t want to hurt Rhett - this is likely a desire for guaranteed continuous attention from Rhett, whatever it takes.

Furthermore, Link always makes sure to draw attention from the audience as much as Rhett, if not more, (which could be fundamentally what Rhett interprets as competitiveness and doesn’t know how to regulate) which is Link’s way to ensure he’s not taken for Rhett’s sidekick (in his own words) by either the viewers or Rhett himself, because inside Link’s full of concerns mind this hits a little too close to home.

Now, if there’s any truth to Rhink, intensify this by 10x.

#rhink #anon #ask #mail #mythical

[bisoqu]

Hi. I’ll be going by an old internet nickname, Casey. I’m 19. I’ve never used tumblr before, but I cannot talk to anyone in my immediate personal life (hoping this is a first step) So, here I am. I used to only think about these things while I was high or drunk but those thoughts have now entered my head every day, and I’m incredibly stuck in what I should do. I please ask kindly that you, internet stranger, give me your thoughts for a little bit. I want to talk to somebody, but everyone in my life would push me away. Or, at the very least, look at me in a drastically different way, and ruin alot of the bonds I have with them.

Also uh, sorry about the kinky stuff. I’m just really inebriated.

when I was younger, I had this infatuation with overweight people. The idea of a fat person was hilarious to me, and I would often watch crappy montage videos on YouTube of fat people falling, failing, dumb shit like that. That infatuation with consuming fat content probably pushed my desire for this through the roof. As I got a little older, I started looking up “cute fat girl” (I’m like 11 at this point don’t @ my goofball ass who through that wasn’t odd too search). And eventually saw these videos being referenced with the tag BBW (meaning ‘big beautiful women’.) A google search later I had successfully discovered a way to find more content of a similar style, and plenty of it. I would use this search term across YouTube, and eventually had consumed most of the recent content with that tag. As most teens do, from there I went to porn sites. I was learning new terms, PAWG, Pear, MILF, but most importantly SSBBW. SSBBW was an extreme push of the human form, women growing far beyond any healthy limits. Piling on hundreds of pounds of useless fat and growing larger with no concern for health, just unyielding gluttony. It was incredibly hot, and rewarding. I had dug a little deeper and found my niche. At this point I was much passed only searching to stimulate a curiosity, but to scratch a sexual itch I had been developing. As time went on, I had been pretty deeply interested in this stuff, but had no aspiration(at about 16) too talk about it. But.. as my romantic life moved forward, I felt embarrassed and frustrated to tell the world. through some random burst of honesty, I told an internet love interest everything. Or.. enough. I told them I was into “fat girls”, leaving it open to interpretation. I had believed that saying just ‘big girls’ would leave them to think slightly overweight, not dangerously, or disgustingly fat. Even though I tried to talk about a subculture I was deeply into, I was unable to be transparent. Soon after this encounter I would get very close with my first serious girlfriend (we’ll call her Stacy). She wasn’t chosen because of my kink, she actually only weighed a tiny 98lbs, it was because we had some similar interests, and she made me feel special in a way nobody had before her. Some time would pass, but in some way or another My friends and girlfriend were aware of this kink to the same extent as that online friend so long ago. I was very joke-y about it, leaving it to be much less of an embarrassment as originally thought. But, the air was still there that I wasn’t being completely truthful, and their thoughts on what ‘fat’ is, and mine are wildly different. Fast forward too now. I live with this girlfriend, and have since moved hours from family. I still see friends routinely, and work a full time job.

As of recent however, I have been using marijuana more than I had in the past. What was a 1-2 a week thing had turned into a “every night after work” thing. Recently (within the last few months) Stacy had gotten a second job that would take her for an entire day, her staying the night on site, leaving me home alone. I had an idea one of these Saturday’s where Stacy was gone and I was working that I would purchase some fun food to eat for dinner since I was alone, and get really high. something about this changed a couple hours later though. As I started to think more about the idea, I decided to starve myself as skip any meals that day, waiting for this grand feast. And we’ll, it turned into a sexual deviation quickly. I myself am a little overweight, but am not exactly huge. I’m 6’1 and I weight about 250lbs so I’m not exactly small, but my weight is dispersed well. I started too think about stuffing my face, naked, in front of my webcam. And that was exactly what I did. I smoked a bunch of weed, and ate a couple peoples worth of food at my desk, all with a single hand, as my other was jerking myself off. I started to call myself titles like slut, and bitch, seeing myself as a woman. At its climax, I felt a new high. Ever since that night, I haven’t been able too shake this incredibly urge. I would like to be trans. I still am attracted to women, which I guess would make me a trans lesbian, or something (I’m really not involved in trans culture passed a couple trans friends). So every Saturday, I’ve been doing this. Recently Stacy hasn’t been working this job much, so I’m left with just repressing it, but often it doesn’t work. I want to learn how to do makeup (of which Stacy had plenty of at home) and dress myself in feminine clothes. I’ve been dealing with this burning passion for a handful of weeks, this want to change my entire life and be a woman. but this fantasy seems impossible. I am a very active person, as I do fight with my weight alot. In this male body, I find excess weight to be gross, and do go to the gym several times a week to combat it. I’m actively working against my dream out of sheer.. terror. My family, my friends, I don’t want too throw it all away to feel like me. I have been thinking about taking the savings I have and moving a handful of states away, leaving my life here and starting anew elsewhere. But it pains me to think of my own mother, or stacy, or a good friend, to be appalled at the way I look, dress, or present myself. The “what happened to you” or “trans looks bad on you”. As a person who now, openly admits to wanting a transgender life, I see very few trans success stories from M to F. A lot of them look abnormal, and catch a ridiculous amount of scrutiny.

And above all, I don’t want being trans to be my life. I want to change the way I look, and the way I operate, but not the way others see me or think of me. It’s an impossible circumstance that many trans people have dealt with. And I’m just so afraid of backlash, that I might settle. I I just don’t know what to do, who to talk to, or if anyone will see this as a cry for help. Passed my kinky (high) ass, I think about this every day almost nonstop ever since that night. And a life like that sounds like a life worth living, I’m just terrified of loosing everything too change only something myself, will see as a better decision. I feel like if I don’t do something though, I’ll go crazy.

I don’t think tumblr has dm’s, but please, if anyone has any shred of similarity with this situation, let’s talk.

#transgender #transwoman #mental heath support

[eyes-like-a-pisces]

Rules: Answer 10 questions, tag 10 people and make another 10 questions.🧜‍♀️

Questions from my astrological twin: @maiden-song 💕

1. if you could choose to glimpse the afterlife, would you?

Yes, I would. I think a lot about It.

2. under what circumstances do you think you past life was lived?

I could have had many past lifes. I think I was a native american, cause I've always felt bonded to their tradicion and same with China, cause when I hear the sound of Erhu - traditional chinese instrument, something wakes up in me. I've also always wanted to see Sweden & Finland, so maybe I was doing something there... I mean, I could do anything. I see myself in biblical times, as well as middle ages. I could be a renaissance artist, as well as dying of hunger during victorian era, or something, and that's probably why I'm still careful with money, haha. For my latest one, I think I could have been a hippie in the 60/70s and had some drug use experience, cause when I was a child I used have dreams about taking drugs, even if I didn't know anything about It. I also had some experience with psychics (and "psychics"), my mom had a past life regression and she told me she saw me few times... I don't take anything for granded, but reincarnation is one of my favourite theories.

3. what three skills would you instantly master if you had the choice?

Playing every instrument, speaking every language, singing beautifully

4. would your rather no passion or no pain?

No pain. Everything is needed in life, but you know, enough is enough.

5. if you had a chance to leave this world and go to another one, would you take it?

Depends of the world and who I would meet there. Even if this world can be cruel and disappointing at times, I still have some love for him and humanity.

6. if you could smell like anything in the world, what would it be?

Like the first day of spring, when you go outside and the air smells different. Or a storm.

7. do you feel like common interests or philosophical comparability are not important?

They are very important. I can't imagine a relationship without similar interests, views. You either get bored or fight constantly. I think that the whole point of searching a partner is trying to find things you got in common. The more similar you are, the more understood you feel and more you are attracted to them. That's my experience at least. That's a very basic example, but as you may noticed, I'm very much into music and I was dating a guy, who wasn't into music that much at all. I thought It doesn't matter at first, but then I started feeling like I'm missing my favourite way to connect with other person. Once I met a guy who loved music as much as I do, I'm sorry to admit It, but my partner became unattractive to me.

Similar interests and views are needed at the beginning, to bond with somebody, and later, to simply enjoy spending time together (thanks Captain Obvious). I mean... chemistry and good will are not enough for a relationship to last. Don't get me wrong, I don't think you have to be identical and agree on everything - some differences can be inspiring, balance your relationship and teach you something new. It's also ok and even needed, to have some separate hobbies, things that you like to do on your own. There are also other important things, like, if you equally care about each other and if you are on the same page in general, but I can't imagine not agreeing in the key points and things that are the most important to you. And the only person who can decide what is the most important is the person who is in that relationship, no matter if It's about interests, philosophy or religion. But beside a romantic relationship, I think It's good to be surrounded by different people and listen what they got to say.

8. if there was one mystery you alone could learn the answer too, what would it be?

The mystery of life in general. Why we are here, is there any destiny, how we are connected, how this universe works, what happens after death...

9. in your opinion, is there anything more important than love?

No :) (I'm not talking about putting your relationship before other things. I'm talking about love as a big force and meaning of this universe)

10. describe a new planet you would live on, if you could.

I want things to be diverse, monumental... Maybe another moon, why not. As a concept of the world, I wish there would be peace :) everybody has their safe place to live, will to live, passion, purpose, someone to love and who loves them back. Amen.

Questions from @mybloodiedvalentine 💕👯

1. What is an unpopular opinion you hold you about which you feel strongly and with which you seem to notice a lot of people disagree?

Nothing specific comes to my mind at the moment (that I haven't mentioned before). I sure have some, but what's unpopular opinion in general and what's unpopular opinion on tumblr, are two different things. Maybe, that the "tumblr positivity" is not really helpful. Like: "in case you need to hear this: you are smart, you are loved... ". How do you know that? Those are just empty words. But It's better to spread positivity than negativity, of course.

2. What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever told you that you can recall?

Oh, I had a few situations like that... This is so lovely, when a stranger wants to just be genuinely nice, not just catcalling you...For example, when I was with my 3 girlfriends at the club and 2 ladies in their 40s where like: "excuse me, we just wanted to say that we can't stop starring at you all, cause you are the priettiest girls in the club." And we were like: aww, omg, you are beautiful too, come dance with us. And we were all dancing in our witches circle ignoring all sweaty men around us, haha. Or when my mom went to the the same hair saloon as me and asked hair dresser if she remembers me and she said that she does and that I'm nice and intelectual. I'm her faithful client now ;_; (Sorry for sucking my own dick, but It was nice to remind myself about these situations).

3. Has a piece of art or music ever made you cry? If so, do you remember a specific moment? 

Crying to music is my passion. The latest intense moment was few days ago. I was loading a dishwasher at night and I played some music and then "lover you should've come over" by Jeff Buckley came on and sudden wave of lonelliness hit me so hard, that I just had to put down the plate, hide my face in my hands and weep ✌

4. What’s your favourite piece of clothing?

Idk, maybe my Penny Lane coat :)

5. What’s a random childhood memory that fills you with a deep sense of comforting nostalgia? 

Sledding with kids during a very cold winter in my home town, until It got dark and snow looked like sprinkled with glitter and having my freezed feet warmed up with a hair dryer, when I came back home, haha.

6. What is/was your favourite thing about your mom? If not your mom, your dad? Or best friend?

My favourite thing about my mom is that she's tolerant and open minded. I didn't have to lie to her or pretend I'm someone I'm not because of that. My favourite thing about my dad is that he actually cared about being a parent, even tho my parents divorced. I respect that he has unwavering morals and huge knowledge about a world - biology, astronomy, music, art...- subject doesn't matter- but he is very modest about It.

7. What’s something you learned on your own of which you’re proud?

Playing guitar

8. When was a moment in your life you remember laughing the hardest?

I was playing cards since I was a kid. After few years, when I was about 13 y. o. I got the first poker, a royal flush. When I saw my cards, I'm not sure why, I just coudn't believe my luck, I started laughing so hard I almost died.

9. What do you like to do when you’re having a hard time mentally that invariably calms you down?

Really depends of the kind of situation and if It's triggered by something or just a longer period of time feeling in a certain way. The is no a magic trick, but some things might be helpful. When It's concrete situation, at first, when the feelings are really intense, then I just can't calm down. Every try to do so, has a reverse effect. Like, I CAN'T THE FUCK CALM DOWN and It makes me even more angry. Brain needs about 20 min to chill, if It's not triggered, so It's better to be left alone and just go mad a little until brain will have enough haha. Have a good cry, listen to some music, have a lonely walk, write my feelings down etc.

I like to listen to Teal Swan on youtube. She's a spiritual teacher. I know, It might not sound encouragingly, but she actually seems very down to earth. She has a video about like, every emotion and every problem ever. She's very good in naming feelings, rationalizing them and It makes you feel more understood. And It calms me down as result. ASMR doesn't work for me, but I remember that at some point I liked to listen to sounds of the nature, like rain, waves etc + guided meditation to fall asleep.

Music always helps in general - listening, playing guitar, singing. I also like to take an oil and do a face massage. I'm really sorry if I sound like an instagram influencer 🤢, but when you feel bad for a longer time, you frown and there is a tention in your jaw, it can be really relieving. I follow instructional videos on yt.

When I have a longer period of going into downward spiral, then every way to distract my brain is good - TV shows, internet content that is not related to my life situation (although, sometimes It's good to distance yourself from social media), for example, I like criminal podcasts, cause they are occupying enough to distract a miserable brain, meeting somebody, going to a place I've never been before. + any kind of shedule, reason to leave the house, any goal, anything positive to look forward to and having even the simplest things done, is a blessing (even if sometimes It's the last thing I wanna do). I also tend to be much sadder in the evening, so I just go to sleep. When nothing works, then It's time for the professional help.

10. Do you have a favourite holiday memory?

Discovering Cocteau Twins.

Best regards if u actually read all that chatter, but those questions were so interesting, that I couldn't limit myself to one sentence answer (in most cases).

My questions are:

1. Who or what was the most influential for your music taste?

2. If you could time travel, where and when would you like to go first?

3. If you could be someone from an opposite gender for a day, how would you like to look like and what would you do?

4. Do you have a style icon/inspiration? Or a favourite designer? Desribe your dream clothing style

5. What's the song by a band/artist from your country that you could recommend? (From your hometown or state eventually)

6. What is the most rebellious thing you've ever done?

7. Has ever something in your life happened, that you coudn't explain with logic?

8. What 5 objects someone could use to summon you?

9. What is your favourite name from your culture's language? And outside your culture's language?

10. What's a song you normally wouldn't admit you like or different from music that you usually listen, but still enjoy?

I tag: @winterdryad @bowiepop @nightmare @confusion-in-the-sea-of-sorrow @l0w-budget @numberoneblind @mirandasinclairs @mysticbride @leperwitch @comeacrossthedesertnoshoeson @hexafu @mielmelancolie @arcane-delight

#don't reblog this or any of my personal posts please #and thank you

[twistedapple]

Regarding what I do with my blog

I’m bringing this publicly because I can’t talk to this person by DM anymore. I didn’t want to do that, but that’s what happens when you get shut down without having the option to react and talk things out in private. It’ll be tagged as Twisted Wonderland because it’s specifically for a big shot in this fandom. It’ll also be an exceptional post because I have no mean to keep this to the DMs (which is regrettable). I won’t react to commented reblogs and replies because I refuse to have anymore to do with that publicly. If you have a comment to make, my DMs are open, they’re a more appropriate place to wash one’s dirty laundry. More under the cut.

Earlier this week, a TW OC creator I won’t name went in my DM and the very first thing they said is to ask me why I unfollowed them. Now let’s see so far how my interactions with that person went, from my point of view, to understand how I reacted the way I reacted (i.e not very well).

The first contact with that person was brief and fairly cold. Fair enough, it was to create a relationship between our OCs but I’m not one to force things on other persons. I still decided to give a follow because why not, it doesn’t cost anything. 

The second contact was when I published my first post regarding an OC feeling oddly similar to mine. Keep in mind that so far, I had no more contact with that TW OC creator, but they slid in my DM to tell me I was likely exaggerating (which is something I suspected as well, I already recognised that). The way they behaved during that exchange didn’t exactly vibe well with me because it felt like they were being patronizing and acting like my mother even though they were a perfect stranger. I decided to not comment on that because they had, however, no ill-intent. This conversation being fairly stressful, I decided to put it aside, calm down, and I moved on (because the world doesn’t revolve around me and I have bigger worries IRL to deal with).

The third contact happened earlier this week. This person started the conversation by asking why I stopped following them, then if they had done something wrong for me to do that. Now I was really uncomfortable because 1) it felt like I was being policed over how I run my tiny blog, 2) I don’t know this person, we barely talked like, 3 times so I’m afraid they aren’t exactly central to my life. Considering I had held back during our previous chat, this time I decided to do something pretty fucking rare: share my thoughts and feelings when they’re negative. I’m used to things blowing in my face so when it happens, I’m either being really stressed or doing this in a very private setting (such as a DM, because I deeply dislike washing my dirty laundry in public and this very post does not please me). 

My reaction didn’t please that person, who promptly shut me down and left me with no other option than this post to react. It clearly seems there’s an issue of miscommunication between that user and I, based on a poor ability to express their intent and my own callous reaction as a consequence. For that, I apologise. However I won’t accept comments such as, and I quote (yes, I dare do that):

“ But where I'm from when you're talking to somebody who never responds back to you and then suddenly stops following you, it brings up concern regardless of how long you've been talking. “

We’re random strangers on internet. I don’t know you, you don’t know me either. If you don’t clearly express you intent, I can’t guess it because I’m not a mindreader. Bonus point for being from different countries, so this sort of patronizing comment is not welcome in my book. LPT: when you’re concerned about someone, maybe don’t start with “I noticed you stopped following me”, it gives an awful impression. To use your own manner of speaking, where I come from we don’t start a conversation by questioning one’s way of running their blog, when we address someone. Because not once, not once did I feel any friendliness or actual interest from you, from all of our interactions so far. How am I supposed to understand that you’re trying to be friendly, when you don’t feel as such from my point of view (the subtlety is there: your intent was very poorly conveyed and translated into something very different than what you apparently wanted)? 

It saddens me that this sort of shit happens because of an obvious miscommunication. Earlier this morning, I intended to reply by DM and give a proper apology for my callousness, but being shut down not only made it impossible, it only worsened my view of that person instead. I’m a small TW OC creator, I don’t interact with a lot of people in this fandom and some of the bigger accounts have been ignoring me when I reached out to them. So having that sort of fall out with one of the largest accounts doesn’t exactly amuse me - quite the contrary. It’s incredibly off putting from the fandom as well - and I know for a fact I’m not the only one who’s been feeling that way lately towards the TW OC corner of Tumblr. What a shame. What a shame.

#twisted wonderland #personal rant #I am not amused #not one of the cool kids #DM if you wanna chat #I'm not talking publicly about it further than that #it feels already too much and too public in my book #however I won't accept any patronizing bullshit #even from the bigger accounts of this fandom #this is why I generally avoid fandoms like the plague

[tolkien-in-beleriand]

ah okay let me try writing this before I get...?? I don’t even know what to say. that is very weird, I deleted the posts because they made no sense and I only have a vague idea of what I wanted to say

you all know I’m going through some bad times and I’m doing what I can to deal with it but it’s not being enough

so I wanted to ask for some things, since I have a lot of followers I expect at least six or seven of you can decide to help. that would make a huge difference for me. the point is I don’t have much to live for so this is me trying to find some good things. I know it might sound pathetic but what can I say? that’s my life and most of you here helped more than my entire family so I’m asking you for help one more time

but Mirane what can I do to help?

1. send me messages. no matter what, anything, a simple hi. right now I feel completely invisible and ignored and although I know this is not true I do feel it and it would help a lot if I had evidences to prove me wrong

2. tag me on things, anything you think I may like, I like a lot of things and I would be very happy if you tagged me on stuff. no need to be mutual, I’m asking this to all my followers

3. send me stuff: a gif, a post, a letter (I will provide address if you want), a dry leaf from your yard, a candy, anything you find interesting and want to show me

4. send me links, songs, books rec, tv shows rec, movie rec. no context needed, just hit me up

5. if you can and want to I would very much appreciate if you could help with money. my doctor sent me to a specialist therapist but she is expensive and when I asked my sister if she could help me she said she rather spend her money on strangers than on me. if you can’t or don’t want to give money to a random person on the internet it is more than okay, don’t even think about feeling bad or anything, you are a wonderful special person who makes the universe a better place

I can assure you that any of the above will help me greatly so if you can do any of that (or even something else I didn’t list that makes me feel seen) I thank you a million times. I just want to feel like I exist. I don’t want to feel like a nightmare and I like I don’t exist in the world. I’m sorry for asking so much but I honestly don’t know what else to do to feel alive.

I did write this thinking I am normal and writing normal but if this is not the case I will delete it tomorrow and try again because more than anything I need good people in my life and you are the best

P.S. Thank you very much to everyone who reached out already, it means a lot!

P.S. 2 my paypal email is [email protected]

#tw depression #my life is really fucked up right now #im sorry i ask so much of you guys #im really sorry #and thank you for everything

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Surprise Girlfriend

A random quirk affect makes things a little more... interesting. 

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Sex, cursing, dildo use, just naughty things in general Pairing: Fem!Bakugou x Koge (OC) (and regular Baku, too, a little) Words:  8,571

a/n: This was an idea that I’ve had for a long time and finally decided to just... go for it, even tho it’s super kinda weird and naughty. But y’know, I had fun, it was difficult and different for me so I think that was good to help me with my... funk, I suppose. I decided to stick with masculine pronouns for Bakugou during this, so sorry if it seems a little confusing or off when I describe him. There are some other quirk related accidents that can turn out in different ways that I have in mind, too, that I may be able to do eventually. Either way, enjoy. Also enjoy these horrible awful gross sketches that I did, even tho I don’t like them much I though I’d include them anyways lol. 

BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

Full story under the cut~

Cutesuki 6:09 PM: koge. im coming home. i want to hear NOTHING about how i look. NOTHING. 

Koge was pretty sure that a text had never confused her so much in her entire life, especially not a text from her lover. Many things about it didn’t make sense, but the fact that he used her first name along with capital letters made her increasingly nervous. What could possibly be the problem for him to send her such an ominous message? Had he gotten hurt? Was he covered in dirt and grime from a particularly difficult mission? Was he missing a limb? 

Me 6:11 PM: What in the world are you talking about Katsuki? (⊙＿⊙) What’s wrong? Are you okay? (⋟﹏⋞)

Cutesuki 6:15 PM: im not hurt if that’s what you want to know, but i am not okay. i fucking mean it. one word and im getting a hotel for the next 24 hours. 

Me 6:16 PM: Whatever it is, it can’t be that horrible. (´･･`) Why don’t you just tell me, so I won’t be so surprised when you get home? (･ω･)b

Cutesuki 6:18 PM: no! you just had better act like nothing is different! nothing! 

With an annoyed grumble, Koge pulled her legs up onto the couch, adjusting her blanket over her chilled feet. If it was truly as serious as Bakugou was making it seem, there would be no possible way for her to just ignore it. She knew that she would end up saying something, as the words would just spill out of her mouth involuntarily, as they had a tendency to do anyway. At least it seemed to be something temporary, according to what he had said along with his threat to avoid her for twenty four hours. That put her at ease a little, though her curiosity was unquenchable. 

I wonder if he got turned into a cat person like I did not long ago. Though that ended up being fun. If he’s this upset about it, I think having fun is definitely going to be out of the question. 

Deciding to practice at pretending that nothing was going on, Koge dropped the topic and went on discussing normal, mundane things with him as she awaited his arrival home. Bakugou took to the normalcy well, not making a fuss or seeming off in any way. The only thing he seemed frustrated about discussing was the movie night they had planned, as he seemed quite set on just going straight to sleep. Even eating dinner brought about a frustration that Koge couldn’t understand just yet. It was as if he wanted the day to be over, to sleep as soon as possible. Perhaps sleeping was the way to get rid of what was ailing him? 

Eventually, the sound of rough and angry knocking reverberated through the room, prompting Koge to stand. Nervous butterflies rattled about in her stomach all the way to the front door of their apartment, and as she unlocked all the locks, they nearly burst out of her. As the last one was undone, she took in a deep breath, preparing herself to not make a scene. 

All of her preparation was useless. The instant she laid eyes on her lover, she gasped out in shock, instantly covering her mouth in an attempt to stop anything else from escaping. The person before her was indeed her lover, the man that she had grown up with and loved with every inch of her soul. But he was no longer a… he. A woman stood before Koge, dressed in the clothes that Bakugou had left in that morning with his familiar duffle bag slung over their shoulder. Although Bakugou’s regular height hadn’t changed, the clothing hung extra baggy off the figure of the woman, making it nearly impossible for Koge to see exactly what they looked like. Those particular points paled in comparison to their face, which was absolutely lovely, if not for the glare and typical snarl that arose when Koge let out her squeak of surprise. 

“Damn it, Utsuro, I told you not to act up!” The feminine growl of Bakugou’s new voice was foreign to Koge’s ears, leaving her in stunned shock as the stranger shoved their way into their home. Swallowing her shock, Koge shut and relocked the door, waiting until she was done before even attempting to speak. 

“Katsuki… I’m sorry, but you have to tell me what happened first. Was this done by a quirk?” She took the duffle bag as it was shoved into her arms, watching her lover curiously as he stripped off his shoes, not even bothering to put on slippers. Once shoes and jacket were removed to be left at the entrance, Bakugou stormed off towards the bedroom, hands shoved into his pant pockets. 

“Of fucking course it was a quirk! And it wasn’t even a villain! It was a pedestrian I helped get out of a fight zone, and she was so scared she activated her quirk on me. They didn’t need me there so I fucked off the instant it happened, so the media couldn’t see me. I’m fucking pissed about it!” 

Following the fuming blonde into the bedroom, Koge put the bag in her hands down in its usual spot, though she didn’t even get a glance at Bakugou before he was in the bathroom. The door slammed shut so loudly it made Koge jump, and she was sure the entire 40 story tall apartment building could feel it. “Did she at least tell you how to go back?” 

“I have to either sleep or sweat it off. She said that if I sleep it off, it will take longer, but it will go away within a day. If I sweat it off, it will be gone sooner. So my ass is going to do an intense workout, until I’m sweating my balls off, then going to bed!” The sound of shuffling clothes was mixed in with his voice, only making Koge curious again as to what this new body looked like. 

“But Katsuki, you don’t have any balls.” 

“Shut up! Get me my fucking tank and shorts out of the dresser!” 

Giggling, Koge made her way over to the commanded destination, pulling out Bakugou’s favorite black tank, loose workout shorts and a pair of boxers. She was unsure if these were even going to fit this new mystery figure, but she knew that none of her stuff would fit either. Bakugou was still much taller than her, and Koge doubted that the new feminine figure was any less muscular than normal. So, she brought the clothes over, knocking on the bathroom door lightly. “Here, love.” 

The door peeked open barely enough for Bakugou to peek out at Koge, his hand reaching through. Still, Koge kept the clothes close to her, peering up into that crimson glare she loved curiously. “Can I see you?” 

“What?! No, you can’t see me, give me that shit.” Bakugou’s cheeks flushed dark red, snapping his fingers to command the delivery of the clothes. “I mean it, I’ll fucking leave and go get a hotel if you keep bothering me!” 

With a roll of her eyes, Koge plopped the clothing into the slender waiting hand, which vanished back behind the door before it shut. “Honestly? I’m your girlfriend, you shouldn’t be scared to show me yourself. What am I gonna do? Take pictures and post it all over the internet? Laugh at you? You want me to act normal, but you’re the one acting like a spaz.” 

“I think I have every fucking right to act like a spaz, Utsuro! I was just turned into a fucking chick! Damn it, my tits are too big for this shirt!” 

Koge instantly began to laugh, though she covered her mouth to try and stifle the sounds as to not upset her lover further. “Well, that tank does fit you tight, even when you’re normal. You want just a normal big t-shirt instead?” 

“Everything’s too big, Utsuro. Even my damn boxers!” 

Beginning to actually feel bad for him, Koge tapped her finger against her chin, wondering what she could do. “You could just go without boxers, and wear the shorts. It’s no different than freeballing as a dude.” 

“It is different! I have a cunt now, it goes up inside my body, that’s gross! What if it gets all infected or some shit.” 

“Okay, now you’re being ridiculous. I’ve gone without underwear plenty, and you are well aware of many of those times. Have I ever gotten an infection? No. Just don’t go rubbing your pussy all over weird shit or shoving stuff up in there.” 

Bakugou groaned out loudly, a sound Koge knew well to be an expression of frustration and defeat. With a small tap of her fingers on the door, Koge sighed. “Come on, Katsuki. Come on out and I’ll help you find clothes that fit. You can’t avoid me all night. I’m not trying to make fun of you or anything.” 

After a long moment of silence that almost had Koge giving up, the door finally opened, revealing Bakugou in all his red-faced shame. He couldn’t even look at Koge, fiddling with the shorts to try and tighten the string to keep them as snug as possible. “I don’t like this, Utsuro… I feel fucking weird.” 

Comforting smile on her lips, Koge reached out and took Bakugou’s hands gently, leading him out into the bedroom. “Just remember that it isn’t permanent, love. It will go away, sooner than you think. If it helps at all, you’re seriously one smokin’ hot lady.” 

Face flushing darker, Bakugou scoffed, snatching his hands from Koge to cross his arms over his chest. “Tch, fuck off! You think I wouldn’t be?!” 

“Katsuki, you’re so beautiful as a man, there’s no way you’d be any less beautiful as a woman. Your boobs are even bigger than mine!” Tenderly, Koge reached up and cupped his cheeks, which were hot against her chilled skin. “Come here. I missed you today.” With a gentle tug, she got him to lean in for a kiss, pushing herself up on her toes to meet him halfway. She did have to admit that it felt different, his lips softer with just a hint of that characteristic roughness she was familiar with. It was still her Bakugou, and that fuzzy, warm sense of love filled her like it did any other day. 

He didn’t quite seem to agree, the furrowing of his brow hinting that he was still uncomfortable. “That doesn’t… bother you?” 

“Hm? No Katsuki, not at all. I mean, your lips are way softer but that’s it. Why would it bother me?” Koge sneakily wiggled her way into an embrace, her arms around his neck while he nervously locked his arms around her torso. 

“But, I’m not… I’m a fucking chick right now. That doesn’t make you feel weird?” 

“No. You’re still my Katsuki. I love more than just your body, you know. Everything about you is still the same. Just… you’re a lady right now. And that’s fine.” 

“But you’re not attracted to women.” His hands moved to caress her sides. “It has to be strange for you.” 

Koge gave a small roll of her eyes, pushing herself up on her toes to kiss him again. “It’s not! Sure, I’m attracted to your normal body, but that doesn’t make a difference. I love you for being you. Man or lady. Even if this was permanent, nothing about how I love you would change.” Her comforting words only made his cheeks somehow flush darker, a scoff leaving his lips before he shoved his face into her hair, squeezing her against him in his embarrassment. Smiling, Koge stroked his hair softly, glad to see that the texture and style of it hadn’t changed much at all. “Don’t stress out about that. It’s just temporary.” 

“I’m fucking glad it is. I don’t know what I’d do if I ended up a woman forever.” Bakugou peeled himself from her, making his way over to his dresser to dig about for clothes that might fit him better. It was obvious that he needed it, as the shorts would have fallen without him holding on and it was clearly uncomfortable. “I don’t think I have anything that will stay on…” 

“Hmmm.” Koge followed him over, stopping at her side of the dresser to dig around as well. “I might have some shorts, but they are like… girly shorts. And some normal underwear, too. Nothing frilly or… thong-ish. You could try them?” Pulling out the mentioned clothing items, she took a second to look over Bakugou’s body, trying to gage his size. His new figure very closely matched hers, with a soft athletic frame that was quite curvy. The only difference was really the height, so she figured that the shorts and underwear would probably fit. “I know you’d prefer your boxers and all, but if you’re worried about not being covered, these would be the most comfortable.” 

Bakugou glared at the clothing out of the corner of his eye, clutching a pair of his own shorts in his hands tightly. The reluctance was obvious on his face, but Koge could see that small spark of realization behind it. A new body required different clothes, and though it was clear that he didn’t want to succumb to his new female figure, it was something he’d have to suffer through. Roughly shoving his clothes back into the drawer, he shut it harshly with his knee before taking the clothes in Koge’s hand. “And what if they don’t fit?” 

“They should. You’re taller than me, but your figure isn’t all that different. If they don’t fit then we’ll… figure out something else. We can both just walk around naked or something.” Koge couldn’t resist a smile at the blush on his face, though she was happy to see that he only went to the bed instead of going to hide in the bathroom. “Ooh, not scared to be around me anymore, huh?” 

“Well don’t fucking watch me change! Fuck, Utsuro, keep it in your pants.” Bakugou glowered at her over his shoulder, waiting until she huffed and turned her back to him before letting the baggy shorts and boxers fall to the ground. Pout on her face, Koge crossed her arms over her chest, listening to the sound of shuffling clothes and the familiar snap of underwear band against skin. 

“Any luck?” 

“I suppose… How can you stand this stuff so tight against your skin? It’s irritating! Like having a permanent wedgie.”

Koge giggled, unable to resist a glance over her shoulder. She got a peek of his backside as he pulled the shorts up into place, and from the looks of it, they fit just fine. A little tighter on him than they were for her, but they still fit better than the loose shorts. “Well, we don’t really have anything hanging in the way, so it’s normal. Those look good on you!” 

Glancing at her with cheeks still as crimson as his eyes, Bakugou scoffed, adjusting the tank to try and pull it further down to hide himself. “Shut up, I don’t want to hear that… I just want to work out and go to bed so I can be rid of this.” 

“But you haven’t even eaten dinner yet. You’ll make yourself sick doing that without food. C’mon, let's cook dinner first and then we can work out together.” Koge smiled at him, gently taking his hand as he approached her. “You gotta get used to your body first before you start working out, anyway. I can tell you’re fumbling a bit with the boobs.” 

“They’re so in the fucking way… I hate them.” 

“Aw, I like them. You’re at least a double D, Katsuki. They’re super pretty and perky without a bra, too. You haven’t squeezed them or anything yet?” 

“No! I am not touching myself in any way, don’t be perverted.” 

“I’m not being perverted. I just assumed that most guys, if they suddenly had tits, they’d want to touch them. You like mine so much, I just assumed you would have given them a squeeze.” Koge reached up and squeezed her own breast, pushing it up a bit. “I’m kinda jealous of yours…”

“Don’t start. Let’s just eat some fucking food so I can get on with working out and be done with it!” 

Cooking, eating, and cleaning up afterwards went about as normal as any other day, though Koge could see that Bakugou was struggling. He had issues holding chopsticks, more than normal, and cursed every time he dropped some rice down between his breasts. Koge couldn’t resist her giggles every time he had to fish it out, nor could she resist teasing him when his nipples became visible with the cold. He didn’t react as badly as she would have expected, merely covering them with his arm or pulling his long legs up into the chair to pull his knees to his chest. He may have not liked it, but Koge found him to be ridiculously adorable. 

As they finished cleaning up after dinner, Koge gave a sigh as she hopped up to sit on the counter, patting her full belly a few times. “Man, I’m full! That was delicious as always, Katsuki. Thank you.” 

Bakugou only gave a grunt in agreement, currently drying his hands off on a small towel they kept hanging next to the sink. Once he was done and after placing it back into its spot, he turned his crimson gaze towards her. Koge could see his tension soften as it usually did when he was calm, so she beckoned him over with open arms, which he responded to instantly out of instinct. Wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her to the edge of the counter, he kissed her sweetly, making Koge’s heart flutter. She let her own arms wrap around his neck, legs hooking around his waist to keep him close. 

He was so soft and sweet, kissing and caressing her body with that familiar touch that she couldn’t resist. Eating may have been a problem, but showering her with such sweet affection obviously wasn’t, not missing a beat in the way he kissed her. If it was a normal night, she knew very well that he would have scooped her up and took her to bed, but as his lips left hers with a frustrated sigh, she knew she wouldn’t have anything more. 

Grumbling, Bakugou rested his forehead onto hers, his crimson gaze locked onto hers with that familiar haze of lust. “This fucking sucks, Utsuro…” 

Koge caressed his cheeks softly, giving a quiet hum as she stroked his skin with her thumb. “I know… I will admit, I’m missing your dick right about now. I’ve been waiting for you to get home all day, after that teasing you gave me this morning and left me hanging. Unfair.” 

“I can’t do anything about it… And I sure as hell am not putting on a strap on.” 

“We don’t even have one. I mean… I have other toys-” 

“No.”

Pouting, Koge let her hands fall to rest on his chest, running her fingers along his collarbone. “No? Why no?” 

“I’m not going to have sex with you while I’m like this. In any way. It's not happening.” 

“Why? It could be fun. A woman’s orgasm is completely different from a man’s, y’know. Aren’t you curious about what it feels like?” Her fingers traveled up and across the soft form of his jawline, waiting for that flicker of contemplation to cross his face. “You have to be, at least a little bit.” 

“You do realize my body is probably set up like a virgin, right? It wouldn’t be as fun as you’re thinking.” Bakugou gave a small shake of his head, his cheeks flushing at the thought. “It’d probably just fucking hurt.” 

“I’d treat you nicely, Katsuki. Nicer than you treated me.” 

“I treated you just fine! You weren’t even physically a virgin, you just hadn’t even been with a man before. You were the one telling me to fuck you harder, don’t even try to make me seem like an ass.” 

“I’m not! What I’m saying is that I wouldn’t go all out on you… at first. Until you’re ready. And if you don’t want anything up in there, I can just play with your clit instead.” 

Bakugou’s face was dark red by the time she finished, glowering down at her with reluctance. “You don’t even know how to fuck a woman.” 

“I get the concept. And I know how to use toys. That’s something you don’t know about.” 

“Not happening.” 

With a huff, Koge shoved her face into his chest, enjoying the soft plush swell of his breasts. “Meanie. I bet you’re super wet just from kissing me.” 

Bakugou stroked the back of her head softly, a hint that he truly did feel guilty that he couldn’t give her what she wanted. “Yeah, and it’s fucking uncomfortable. Not as bad as having a boner, though…” 

Koge kissed Bakugou’s skin softly, trailing her lips and soft kisses up to his neck. “You have a lady boner. That throbbing and aching…” She let out a small, airy sigh, caressing the side of his neck. “Mm… I’ve been feeling that all day. It can be unbearable sometimes…” 

Bakugou moved his hands to her hips, his fingers edging under her shirt to feel her skin. “I get that Utsuro, but there’s just no way.” 

“Katsuki… You aren’t scared are you?” Koge smirked against his skin, feeling his grip tighten on her. “Or is it… You don’t think you’d be good enough? I bet you just wouldn’t know how to handle me as a woman…” 

Bakugou brought his hand up, digging it into her hair and gripping a handful, tight enough to bend her head back and make her squeak out in a mix of pain and pleasure. “You’d better watch your mouth, Utsuro. You’re the one that wouldn’t know how to handle me.” 

“Wanna bet?” Koge let her fingers slip under the rim of his shorts, feeling her cheeks flush from the grip on her hair. “I bet I could have you wiggling and panting. I can already tell that you’d make the cutest expressions while cumming… C’mon Katsuki. Just because you have a pussy now doesn’t mean you should be one.” 

“I’m going to kill you.” 

“Do it. Pussy.”

Koge let out a squeal as she was scooped up off the counter, laughing when she settled over Bakugou’s shoulder as he headed towards the bedroom. “Wow, you’re still strong enough to carry me like a sack of potatoes!” 

“That’s because you are a potato.” Bakugou landed a firm smack on Koge’s ass, making her yelp and wiggle to escape. 

“Ow!! Mm, do it again-- oof!” Koge was denied her request as she was tossed down onto the bed, her body bouncing with the impact. She didn’t have time to move or react as Bakugou straddled her torso, sitting firmly down onto her lower stomach to keep her in place. With a huff, Koge glowered up at him, her hands gripping his thighs. “Well this is new.” 

Smirk on his lips, Bakugou reached behind him, his hand finding its way between her legs to rub and tease her clit on the outside of her shorts. “You really are just a horny little slut, Utsuro.” Free hand wrapping around her neck, he squeezed with just enough pressure to make Koge wiggle, and though his hands weren’t as big as normal, they still had a good amount of strength. “Soaked through your shorts and taunting me until I decide to fuck you. You’re going to regret it.” 

Struggling to breathe or make a single sound against the grip on her throat, Koge nodded, digging her nails into the skin of his thighs as she wiggled beneath him. “I’ll never regret it. I’m not the only one.” She slid one hand up, pressing and rubbing her thumb against Bakugou’s clit. “You’re just as wet as me. In fact, I think you’re worse. I can feel it on my stomach.” 

Bakugou couldn’t stop the furrowing of his brow or the slight rocking of his hips, confusion flashing across his features at the feeling. The clit and the head of a penis were decently similar, that much Koge knew, but she was also positive that they had a totally different sensation. He had grown so used to being the one to pleasure her, to taking control and turning her into the cock hungry bitch that she was. But now, he didn’t have that, and Koge was very curious to see how he was going to handle all the new sensations and pleasures that he was unfamiliar with. He may have known what places on the female body prompted reactions, but he had no idea how it felt. That would be Koge’s ace, her way to turn it around and make him the one to twitch and writhe. 

She wanted to see it so badly. Sure, Koge loved to be dominated by him, to be used and teased until she was filthy begging mess. But to tease him the same way, to use his temporary body to send him into the same bliss she felt was something she couldn’t resist. “Already wiggling your hips, Katsuki? I’m barely touching you.” 

“Shut up!” Bakugou’s middle and third fingers found their way into her mouth, gagging her to silence her teasing. That didn’t stop her fingers, however, which moved in rhythm with the way he was stroking her own clit. What she couldn’t mimic, however, was the direct contact that Bakugou was able to achieve, his hand shoved into her shorts and underwear. “That’s it, you bitch… suck on my fingers while I make you cum.” 

Although she wanted her chance, Koge couldn’t resist his demands, sucking and licking his fingers as if they were his member. Even though his hands weren’t as big, he didn’t lose any sense of technique, his fingers alternating from slipping into her cunt to rubbing her clit until she was moaning and squirming beneath him. She had completely forgotten about touching him, her hands once again gripping his hips as she had nothing else to anchor herself to. What she did notice however, was the way he grinded his hips against her stomach. It was just a slight movement, but it was enough for Koge to know exactly what he was doing. He was completely getting off on this, and that only turned Koge on more. 

Soon enough, Koge did just as he had said, cumming hard on his fingers as her teeth clamped down around the others. Removing his hand from her shorts, he gave her cunt a firm slap, making her squeak and gag on the fingers still knuckle deep in her mouth. “Fuck, Utsuro, you’re so sexy. And such a little horny slut, cumming so fast.” As he set her mouth free, Koge took a moment to cough. 

“How unfair, pinning me down so I can’t do anything to you. Still scared I’ll one up you?” She still didn’t have a chance to move as Bakugou shifted his body back between her legs, ripping her shorts and underwear off before gripping her legs behind the knee. With a push, he bent her legs over her body until her knees were on either side of her head, displaying her wet and throbbing cunt to him. 

“I have to let you know what you’re up against.” He gave her thigh a harsh bite, making her whine. As his lips and teeth continued to leave marks and kisses along her skin towards her dripping sex, he groaned out in frustration, eyeing every inch of her. “Fuck, I want to sink my cock into you so badly. I know what it feels like and I can’t fucking have it.” Tongue reaching her clit, he sent her into another round of pleasure and senseless moaning, her fingers digging into his hair. 

“I-I have a cock for us, Katsuki-- a-ah!! We just- oh fuck!” She gripped onto one leg as he released it, his fingers going in to pleasure her. His tongue on her clit and his fingers in her cunt drove her wild, making her nearly cum instantly again. “We have to p-pop your cherry first with s-something more- ah, something smaller.” 

Bakugou became increasingly aggressive with his movements, as if he didn’t want to give her a single chance to talk. Sure enough, Koge was silenced by her moans, until he brought her to yet another body shaking ograsm. Panting and already feeling her body becoming sticky with sweat, she ignored his chuckles of smug victory, focused instead on the feeling of his hands sliding back up her thighs. Even with more slender hands, his touch sent goosebumps across her skin, as did his snarky commentary. 

“Utsuro, you’d better have a fucking idea about what you’re doing. Because I haven’t been this fucking horny in a while, not since I fucked you in my office that last time.” 

Smirk crossing her lips, Koge put her feet against his chest, giving him a rough push to force him to fall backwards. Ignoring his grumbles of protest, she moved to straddle his body as he had her before, plopping down to sit on his lower stomach. “What’s that, Katsuki? Are you actually begging?” 

Snatching onto her thighs tightly, Bakugou glared up at her, though his face flushed with the feeling of her hands sneaking beneath his top. “I’m not begging for anything! I’m just fucking warning you, don’t even start this if you don’t think you can make me cum.” 

“Don’t worry,” Koge leaned forward and kissed him sweetly as she pushed his tank up over his breasts, lightly trailing her fingers against the soft flesh. “One way or another, I’ll get you there. And if not, then when you’re back to normal, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me.” With another, more passionate kiss, she assumed that the way he kissed her back as a positive response. Becoming more excited with his silent approval, Koge did her best to mimic the way he played with her breasts. She lacked his roughness, but her tender touch is what she knew he liked, anyway. The hardness of his nipples and the way he gasped into the kiss with each roll or pinch beneath her fingers told her that she had to be doing something right. 

After a slight nibble to his bottom lip, Koge moved her kisses down across his jawline to his neck. They soon joined her hands at his breasts, making him gasp and tense up as her teeth clamped down around one nipple while the other was pinched between her fingers. Koge became rougher with this positive response, sucking, biting and rolling his nipples beneath her tongue. Shifting her body over to sit beside him instead, she continued with the attention to his breasts while one of her hands slipped beneath his shorts and underwear. 

The first thing Koge noticed was how hot and wet he was. Without bottoms on to catch the liquid, she was positive that he would be nearly dripping. She hadn’t expected him to be this turned on, but in relation to the way he acted in his normal body, she guessed that it was a pretty even reaction. Before she touched him, she moved her lips back up to kiss him, wanting to watch his expressions. “Are you ready, my Katsuki?” 

As he caught her gaze, Koge felt an intense fluttering of her heart and stomach, unable to believe how absolutely beautiful and flawless he was. His flushed cheeks and concerned furrow of his brow only made her want to pleasure him more, and as his face contorted with the first roll of that fleshy button beneath Koge’s fingers, her excitement only further boiled within her. His entire body trembled with just this delicate touch, and so she increased the pressure and speed of her rhythm, feeling the heat in her own body flare at the sweet moans that escaped him. 

It was obvious to her, however, that he was trying very hard to not seem overwhelmed by the feeling. The way his body tensed and how he held his breath were clear indications that he wasn’t letting loose, and Koge couldn’t allow that. 

With a quick kiss to his lips, which he seemed reluctant to let go, Koge changed up the direction of her fingers. In that moment of distraction from the kiss, Bakugou let out a sharp moan, before quickly trying to subdue it. Giving a small shake of her head, Koge kissed his cheek softly, before shifting her body between his legs. “That’s naughty, Katsuki. Don’t try to hold yourself back, that messes it up.” 

“I don’t want to sound like a desperate horny bitch, Utsuro.” He shifted his hips up so Koge could slip his shorts and underwear off, not even bothering to be embarrassed about hiding himself. “I already hate the way I sound.” 

“Don’t think about that.” Koge softly kissed her way down his stomach, giving him little bites and nibbles where she pleased. “Don’t hold your breath and don’t try to be quiet. No one can hear you but me. And I love the way you sound.” Hooking her arms beneath his legs to grip his hips, she ran her tongue along his sex, focusing all her attention on where her fingers had been before. Again, she used what he had always done to her as an example, instantly breaking his tough attitude into dust. His fingers dug into her hair as his body arched up into her, moaning without restraint. 

“F-Fucking hell, Utsuro, take it easy!” 

Giving a light nip to the swollen clit she was abusing, Koge couldn’t resist a smirk from crossing her lips as she gazed up his body. “This is me taking it easy, Katsuki. I think you’re just an extra sensitive woman. So cute.” Koge went right back to it, ignoring his choked complaint for her to not call him cute. 

This was something completely different for her, but just like when she would suck his cock, her only goal was to pleasure him. If she could turn him into a groaning mess then, she could do it now, and from what she could tell she was doing just that. She loved the feeling of his fingers digging into her scalp, his body rocking against her rhythm and thighs squeezing against her head when there were sudden spikes of pleasure. She loved him, and no matter what he may look like, all she wanted was to make him happy. 

In her moment of focus, her hand moved on unconscious impulse, adjusting her position just a bit to be able to slip two fingers into him. There was no resistance or pain as she expected. Instead, he gave an adorable squeak-like moan at the feeling, his body shuddering as his core squeezed her fingers. At first, Koge paused, worried she may have upset him until she felt a rough tug on her hair. 

“Don’t stop, Utsuro, for fucks sake!” 

Deciding not to punish him for being so demanding, she instead gave him what he wanted, continuing to pleasure him with her tongue and fingers. Within minutes, she could tell that he was getting very close, with the way his body moved and voice hitched. 

“F-fuck, I-- Koge--,” Bakugou couldn’t talk behind his moans, his body beginning to give those taletell signs that he was about to cum. Without skipping a beat, Koge pushed him all the way over the edge, until his entire body with jerking and twitching with the onslaught of his first female orgasm. It was as if he lost all control over himself, his fingers affectionately stroking through her hair as he calmed, sweating and trembling. Smiling and licking her lips, Koge sat up from him, removing her fingers from within his still throbbing cunt. 

“Mm… How was that, Katsuki?” Bringing her fingers up to her lips, she licked his essence off her fingers, finding that she quite liked the taste of him. Bakugou propped himself up on trembling arms, glaring up at her with obvious annoyance at her smug attitude. 

“You know damn well, I’m not going to say it.” 

“Do you want to be done?” Koge tenderly ran her hand up and down his inner thigh, watching his chest for a moment as he struggled to catch his breath. Bakugou’s brow furrowed at the question, his eyes glancing over at the nightstand which housed Koge’s collection of toys. He knew which one she had wanted to use, and now that it was quite obvious his body could accommodate such a thing without pain, he seemed… curious. 

“What would you want to use?” Sitting up all the way, Bakugou caressed her cheek softly, moving some of her hair out of her face. Cheeks flushing from the tender touch, Koge turned her lips into his palm to kiss it softly before looking over at the nightstand as well. 

“Well,” Koge placed her hand over is, her body tingling as his other hand moved up her thigh. “You know I have that one I bought on accident… That doubled ended dildo that I thought was like.. Two separate ones for some reason when I bought it.” 

“Hm…” Bakugou urged her closer until she was straddling his lap, his arms around her petite body in a comforting embrace, his lips exploring her neck. “Is that what you want?” 

Koge couldn’t resist a soft gasp at the feeling of his teeth nipping lightly at her skin, hiding her face into his hair as the fire within her grew stronger. “Katsuki, this has been and felt amazing as always, but I… I miss your cock so much. I miss feeling you inside me. A toy still can’t compare, but I think I need it to be satisfied… for now.” 

“Then get it out. I can’t let you go unsatisfied, Utsuro. You know I refuse to let that happen.” Bakugou’s hands slid up her sides, taking hold of her shirt and pulling it up to remove it. His tank was removed shorty after, leaving them bare. “Unless I have plans to tease and edge you like crazy before leaving you hanging for a while.” 

“Like you did this morning.” Koge kissed him sweetly before reluctantly peeling herself away from him, moving to the edge of the bed to dig through her nightstand drawer. Soon enough, the bright blue doubled ended and very realistic anatomy wise dildo appeared from the collection. “I got this one because it was so similar to your size. Widthwise, at least. But I didn’t realize it was like this.” She held the semi floppy toy out towards him, unable to resist giggling at the way he leaned his body away from it. 

“My dick doesn’t look like this, Utsuro.” With some hesitation that Koge couldn’t quite understand, Bakugou took the end of the dildo that was pointed at him, giving it a squeeze to test its firmness. 

Koge scooted in closer to him after she snatched another item from the nightstand, though she left it off to the side for now. “I didn’t say I got it for the way it looks. I got it for the size. How realistic it’s made is nice, too. Except for the color of course.” 

“Why do you even want this when you can have my dick whenever you want?” Bakugou glowered down at her, seemingly quite offended. “What’s the deal?” 

“You’re not always around, Katsuki. You have your business trips that can be up to three weeks that you’re gone! I get horny and lonely! What do you think I’m using when we sext or have phone sex, a pencil?” She snatched the toy from his grip, before giving him a punishing smack on the boobs for his stupid question. “I can barely get off using my fingers anymore, I need you, a dildo, a vibrator or a combination of the three.” 

“You’re just a-” 

“-A cock hungry slut. You’re right, I love dick. Your dick, to be specific. But,” With a sigh, Koge leaned back on one arm, picking up the other item she had pulled from the drawer a moment ago. Flicking the bottle open with her thumb, she squeezed a bit of the lube onto her hot and waiting sex, before using the dildo to spread it about and get a decent coating itself. “I’ll just have to use my imagination. Now come here, sit like me. Put your leg over mine, and I’ll put mine over yours… There.” While Bakugou got situation like instructed, Koge slipped the toy into her as far as it would go, her body tingling with the feeling of being full. 

Once settled, Bakugou watched her with a flushed and almost confused expression, as if he were unsure how to go about this. “This is weird.” 

“I know you’ve seen your fair share of lesbian porn, Katsuki. Here.” Koge shoved the lube into his hand, which he accidentally squeezed too hard in his embarrassed frustration, sending an excessive amount pouring over his inner thigh. Giggling, Koge ignored his frustrated cursing as she wiped up the liquid with her hand, leaning forward to kiss him as she spread it across his sex, unable to resist a bit of teasing to his clit. “You missed. It goes here, silly.” 

“I fucking know where it goes, bitch.” Digging his fingers into her hair, he gripped it roughly, swallowing her gasp as he kissed her with a more fierce passion. His impatience to move on overshadowing hers, Koge scooted her body just a tad closer, letting him take control. First, he focused on moving the toy within her, making her moan and gasp into the kiss as she clutched onto his leg. 

“Put it inside you, Katsuki,” Koge broke the kiss with her words, catching his gaze. “Please… I want to feel good together.” 

Bakugou couldn’t take his eyes off her eyes as he complied, shifting his hips to allow his end of the toy to slip inside him. Koge smiled as she watched his expression contort, pleasure and confusion fighting to take control. It was as if he couldn’t resist it, beginning to rock his body nearly the instant it was fully in place. After sharing another kiss, Koge leaned back on her hands, following his rhythm. This was something that she had never experienced before, but the feeling of the toy moving within her and watching him crumble to the pleasure only further spiked her own. 

It was clear that he didn’t know what to make of it, but was enjoying it nonetheless. Not just a little bit, either. He was taking full control of it all, setting the pace and even moaning without restraint. 

“W-what do you think?” Koge found a moment to speak, beginning to feel that bubble growing inside of her. Instead of answering her with words, Bakugou surprised her with a sudden change of position, grabbing her by the neck and forcing her down onto her back as he hovered his body over hers. Clutching his arm, the new pressure around her throat and sudden increased speed sent her pleasure spiking. Now, she was completely at his mercy, which was exactly how they both preferred it. 

“Yeah, I know you like that, you little horny bitch. Cum all over this cock, Utsuro.” 

“Y-you first.” A sly smirk crossing her lips, Koge reached down to grab the middle part of the dildo that wasn’t going into them, clicking a hidden button three times to set it to it’s fastest vibration. Bakugou’s tough front instantly faltered, increasing the speed and roughness of his movements. 

Koge had to admit, even though it was different, it was pure bliss. She never took her eyes off of him, if she wasn’t watching the way he moved than her eyes were on his face. The look of absolute desperation to reach climax and all willpower crumbling at the mercy of pleasure was something she could not only relate to, but also something she would never forget. 

“I-I’m going to cum! Katsuki--” Her nails digging into the skin of his arm, she did her best to hold off, noticing that his movements were becoming erratic and almost stiff. “Cum with me!” 

“S-shut up! I-- ah, fuck!” The way Bakugou’s voice squeaked as his body shuddered with his orgasm made Koge smile with her own, allowing her body to release the built up pleasure. It rolled across her body in strong waves, the vibrations only prolonging the experience. Bakugou couldn’t seem to take the excess stimulation, removing the toy from himself and thus from within her, pushing it away as if it were causing harm. Koge giggled softly at the action, reaching up to caress his cheeks. 

“Come here, you adorable thing. Love of my life.” She wrapped her arms around Bakugou as he rested himself down onto her, though he kept most of his weight on his arms. With a tired groan, he buried his face into her neck, giving Koge easy access to run her fingers through his hair. 

“No more,” He grumbled against her skin. “How can you have five or more of those in a session.” 

Koge gave a small shrug, prompting him to shift himself back up to look down at her. “I’m used to it, I guess. And you just make it so easy, just by being your amazing sexy self.” 

“Damn right.” After sharing a kiss, Bakugou let his lips trail across her cheek and to her neck, caressing her body to his with a tender touch that sent Koge’s heart fluttering. As he moved them to lay on their sides, Koge nuzzled her face into his chest, soaking in the warmth and soft plushness of his body. 

The time spent cuddling was short lived as Bakugou suddenly pulled himself from the bed, snatching his discarded clothes off the floor and putting them back on. Curious, Koge rolled over onto her side to watch him, though she quickly understood what he was doing as he pulled his arms up over his head to stretch. “You’re still going to work out?” 

“Fuck yes I am. I didn’t sweat nearly enough form that fuck, I have to sweat more to get this quirk out of my damn system.” 

So he did, working out until he was quite literally dripping with sweat. He did so for about an hour and a half, with Koge watching from the comfortable confines of their bed, her fluffy fleece blanket wrapped around her from chin to toe. Once he was satisfied that he had worked himself to the limit, he hopped into the shower with Koge, whom spent most of the time under the water playing with Bakugou’s breasts. At this point, he was so tired that he gave up after slapping her hands away a couple of times, letting her do whatever she wanted. 

Squeaky clean and dressed for bed, the couple buried themselves beneath the blankets. With a bit of juggling of positions and figuring out how to lay down comfortably with his breasts in the way, Bakugou squeezed Koge to him tightly. Koge couldn’t resist the smile on her face as he nuzzled his face into the side of hers, placing a firm yet affectionate kiss on her flushed cheek. “Mm, someone’s really sleepy. My sweet Katsuki…” Turning her head a bit, she caught his lips in a kiss, caressing his cheek softly. Bakugou returned the affection without question, though he did scoff once their lips parted. 

“Shut up, Utsuro. Before I kick your ass out of bed.” 

“You’d never.” Her fingers trailed along his jawline softly, keeping her gaze locked with his as she smiled against his lips. “Besides, we both know you like it when I’m all lovey towards you. Admit it.” 

“I couldn’t be in love with you if I didn’t.” 

Heart fluttering, she gave him one last kiss before cuddling herself in for sleep, her head resting comfortably on the swell of his breasts. “Mm… Boobs really are comfortable.” 

“Well enjoy them, because I expect to be normal by morning.” 

“I’ll have my big strong man back. Though, this is something I don’t think I’ll ever forget. Such fun.” 

“It wasn’t fun, Utsuro.” 

“Lies. You had fun. It wasn’t as fun as when I was a cat girl, but I still enjoyed it. And I know you did, too. At least a little.” 

“Whatever… Shut up and go to sleep.” 

“I love you.” 

With another affectionate kiss to the top of her head, Bakugou kept her close, filling Koge with such a strong sense of pure adoration. “I love you, too, Koge. I can’t wait to be back to myself in the morning…” 

The couple fell into a deep and restful sleep, with no alarm and no sense of urgency waking them up. What did pull Koge into consciousness, however, was the sudden pleasurable feeling of being full. A familiar form within her core sent that blissful tingling across her skin, forcing her to clutch onto the sheets and moan into her pillow. On her stomach, she could feel the weight of her lover at her hips, straddling her legs as his manhood filled her. How long he had been playing with her, she didn’t know nor did she care. All she could do was lift her hips up into him, feeling him reach into her depths like no toy on earth ever could. He was so hot and eager, his burning palms on her ass sending fire through every inch of her body. 

“Someone’s finally awake,” That deep growl of his voice made Koge’s heart flutter, opening her eyes to peer up at him over her shoulder. Bakugou was indeed back to his old self, his gorgeous muscular body looming over her. “I nearly had you cumming in your sleep just from fingering you.” 

Nearly feeling like he was reaching all the way into her stomach, Koge’s entire body was aching for him to move. “That’s mean, Katsuki… Not even waking me up to enjoy the fun.” 

“Who says I didn’t try? It’s not my fault you sleep like a fucking rock.” With that, he began to rock his hips, slowly and teasingly working himself within her. Unable to resist, Koge arched her hips up a bit more, an airy sigh of pleasure leaving her lips. 

“You just couldn’t wait, huh? Not that I can blame you… Fuck, it’s so hot… So deep--” A sharp moan interrupted her as he gave a rough thrust of his hips, picking up his pace as he leaned his body over her. After pressing a rough kiss to her cheek, he moved his lips to her ear, his voice nearly making her cum already. 

“Shut up, Utsuro… Now that I’m normal, it’s time for me to get you back for all that bullshit you put me through yesterday. So… tell me how good my cock feels inside you, and maybe I’ll give you what you’ve been missing.” 

#cutesuki-lemons #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x oc #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bakugou x koge #koge #oc #original character #cutesuki-oc #bnha fanfiction

[icewindandboringhorror]

Another set of responding to asks lol.. As usual I have them numbered and will also write out the ask in the text, especially since the screencaps are all blurry and taken at various times/compiled together badly and probably hard to read ghghhggh..... answers under the read more ~ 

-------------------------

1. "Hi I don't mean to bother you at all, but I was wondering where you get your rocking horse shoes? (I think thats what they're called) I've been looking everywhere and I can't seem to find any :(( "

I don’t entirely remember, since I got them like 6 or 7 years ago.. I think maybe at some point that place ‘bodyline’ or something had some cheap ones? But I don’t see them on the site anymore, they were like $50 or $60. Now when I google it I can only find these insane like $600 ones from vivian westwood or whoever, or ones that are platform shoes but not necessarily the same type. Maybe you could find some on aliexpress or ebay or something? Usually you have to use weirdly specific search terms and look for a while, but you can often find stuff like that on those sites. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help!!! 

2. "I've been sick for over a month and my doctor tested me - everything came back fine. After some discussion it appears that my ptsd symptoms came back and the stress on my body is making me fatigued, sick and dizzy. I don't want to say that this could be similar to you situation, but if you have a therapist or someone to talk to about any stresses/your sickness, it might help relieve the pressure a bit. Good luck, I'm so sorry you feel so unwell"

Thank you for sharing! Yeah, I think stress definitely plays a part in why I feel sick so often. Currently I’m not still having the same problem I was having a few months ago when you sent this, so that’s good at least!! 

3. “Hi! Do you plan to ever have more sculptures for sale? Or would you do commissions? I haven't seen any in a while but wanted to buy one! :-O���

I have plenty that I want to sell, I guess it’s just hard for me to get set up. Since so much of the reason I procrastinate selling stuff is because I hate the stress of deciding on a price, I’ve thought for a while now that maybe I can just auction them (so I just set a base price, but people bid whatever they feel is fair and I don’t have to decide myself). But I’m just not sure of a good way to do that.. Ebay has auctions, but I don’t want random strangers buying them, I’d rather stick to just the pool of people who follow my art blog and are already familiar with my sculptures or etc. I could do them on here ?? (like, ‘reply to this post to bid, bids close 8am EST, whoever said the highest number sends the money through paypal and then I send the sculpture’ sort of thing???)   But I’m not sure if it’s legal to sell stuff through tumblr, or if there could be any other problems with doing it so ‘unofficially’ like that.. I don’t know, I have a vague idea, I’m just having trouble deciding the best way to set up something! I do want to sell some soon though, if I live through the pandemic and anything ever goes back to normal, of course (I wouldn’t want to be having to leave the house to ship stuff in the mail right now). 

As for commissions, I have actually done sculpture commissions for friends a few times, so I feel confident-ish that I’d be able to do something like that, but I also wouldn’t want to get overwhelmed since it takes a lot of work. Custom sculptures may also be more expensive, and again.. I always feel guilty and strange about pricing. I’ve thought about doing very limited sculpture commissions though (like, maybe just one at a time, first come first serve or something..?). If it seems like there’s actual interest in that sort of thing, I could definitely consider doing it in the future! 

4. " *picks up that smol blue kid and throws them across the room* "

ghgh .. the smallness is an advantage... they could just skitter back down your arm like a tiny squirrel the second you tried to pick them up.. Ythrili survival strategy is to be too small to catch in the first place 

(also forgive every sketch in this post, my screen that you can draw on broke, so I’m either drawing stuff in ms paint with a mouse, or drawing stuff on paper and coloring it in firealpaca also with a mouse ghghh.. not going to look Good)

5. "it sounds like you feel pressure to only post good content on the internet, and so you end up psyching yourself out of posting at all. Am I on the right track? "

Not necessarily, like I mentioned in the tags I think it’s more just that everything is complicated by my brain. I can’t just do something effortlessly. Whether it’s for an audience or not, I get caught up on every little detail and adding so much complexity to everything that all tasks take me longer than they take other people lol. I think I just tend to take everything very seriously?? 

Like for example, I’m often accused of ‘turning things into a discussion’ when someone was just intending to make an off-handed remark, because if someone is bringing up a topic to discuss, I end up engaging with it 100% and putting full effort into it, and it’s hard for me to be ‘’casual’’ about pretty much anything (so if someone was like ‘My day yesterday was a bit weird’ I wouldn’t be able to just respond ‘aw man, that sucks’, I would just be like ‘Weird how? what happened? what made it weird? Are you okay now? Are things still weird? Have you found a solution?’ etc. etc.). I was also bad at essays/open answer questions in school (despite usually being great at the class otherwise), because no matter how hard I tried to filter my speech and cut things out, I was always far too long-winded  and would get almost too engaged with the topic and lose the clear cut thought organization and focus that you’re supposed to have I guess. Even like, playing video games or something that’s supposed to be relaxing, I can’t just ‘jump into them’ and do whatever, usually any game I play (large ones at least, small 25 minute  point and click adventure games don’t count of course), I have 7 - 10 pages of notes, do hours of research, look up most of the main spoilers, plan out and organize exactly how I’m going to play it and this and that, etc. lol... 

So, that personality trait carries over into posting things online as well, I can’t just type something out quickly and hit ‘post’ without a second thought. Social media is hard for me because you’re supposed to use it casually, but I spend a long time re-reading drafted posts, thinking about them, etc. etc., and end up never actually getting around to posting anything. It’s not that I’m perfectionist about it and want it to be ‘good’ or appear a certain way, it’s just that my mind becomes preoccupied with things I guess.  I’m a natural information gatherer, part of my natural way of processing things is to learn everything possible before acting, and I want to make sure I’ve fully thought about everything always, and know as much as I can (so I wouldn’t want to publicly say something without giving it a lot of consideration first, or post a picture without really thinking about if I want to post it, what my reasons behind posting it are (like if I’m posting something just for a validation of a certain aspect of myself VS. genuinely because I like it, etc.), if a few months from now I’ll still like that I posted it, etc. lol.. even with like silly cat photos or something, I have to analyze it and be like ‘hmm.. will I still stand by this picture in 4 months? why am I posting it publicly vs, just keeping it privately to myself on my computer? what’s important about it?’ etc. etc. ghgjhgjh.. like.. shut up lol.)

ANYWAY, yeah, I don’t know if it’s about wanting online content to be “good”, as much as it’s just like... I take everything way too seriously and am detail-oriented, contemplative, and analytical to a fault, which means it just takes me 10x longer to do basic ‘’simple’’ things that it would for other people. Though I can still be quite quick-thinking and decisive (I don’t often waver back and forth between things too long), it’s usually because I have years of thinking about the same exact things behind me, so I already am very clear on my opinions on stuff, to a point. But when it’s new things I’m less familiar with (like playing a new game, or posting regularly online), I’m still in a phase where I guess I have to give it a lot of thought. I just process things in a different way than other people I guess? Or have some inherent inability to be brief/concise/careless? If you’ve ever read any of my worldbuilding posts (where I usually start off wanting to explain one thing but then have to derail into 400 other misc. details and explanations and it ends up being a novel), then maybe it’s more evident what I mean, where it’s just like... my natural manner of speaking is Too Much.. I guess? Even this answer is winding and rambly, and I feel like other people could have answered this ask in only a few sentences lol.. 

 If any of that makes sense? I don’t know how to describe how I am lol.. I just know it's hard to me to use social media in this ~~casual effortless~~ way most people seem to, since my brain is just inherently incapable of anything ‘’casual’’ or ‘’effortless’’ lol..  T u T ;; 

6. " Hi! I hope this isn't weird to say, I'm designing a race for my DND campaign and some of the aesthetics are a little bit inspired by some of your costumes and makeup designs. You're awesome and your art is awesome so thanks : ) "

Thanks so much, I appreciate it! It’s always cool to hear I can inspire people~ 

(I usually don’t include many compliments in these ask compilation posts, but I always try to include a few, just to let people know that even if I don’t respond to all of them I do see them, and appreciate it!) 

7.  ???

I ended up cropping out this ask and not answering because some of the content was questionable (the reason WHY/how they wanted to make the character) in a way that I didn’t feel like getting into a long thing about, but part of it was relevant to making OCs in my world, so I will just make a quick comment:

I do state that this is a closed world, so I don’t want anyone making OCs of my species or etc. at least not at this point. Once my game is finished (if ever lol), or I write a few books or something, then I feel it would be understandable if people like, made up a background story for their player character and thus maybe could have some form of OC in my world and etc.. So I may be more relaxed on this in the future as I create content that people naturally would want to engage with , but for now, I’m still a very tiny creator with a closed world and it just doesn’t feel the same as like.. making an oc based on some thing in a big TV series or something. My worldbuliding and etc. is still very personal to me. Unless we’re directly collaborating on things (like mentioned here (link) a bit), or you’re a personal friend of mine who’s gotten involved in the world with my own guidance (meaning I could tell you lore things you’d need to know to make it accurate, etc.), then I don’t feel it’s appropriate for strangers to do at this point. 

Especially since I don’t even have enough world info out for people to be able to reference (most species have half-complete guides, I’ve only ever talked about like, one continent, etc.). There are so many necessary details which I have only in my head and have never typed out, so again, idk, it’d just be weird. I’m not okay with it until I have a lot more lore published, and maybe a few actual works out there that people can reference/stories/games/basis for OCs to exist in the first place. If that makes sense? 

8. "Hey, is it ok to use your outfit posts as inspiration for a dnd character? I love them so much, you have such a unique way of combining crazy patterns and fabrics into something that gives off a good vibe”

Yes, that would be fine! Thank you for asking, and I appreciate the compliments~ Hopefully I can get back to posting that sort of thing more often lol.. I’ve gotten WAY off my routine and haven’t done many outfits lately.. aaa

9. "hi Luca! i just wanted to say i really love all of your costumes and fashions and dress ups, its all so cool and pretty and interesting. i actually wanna dress up for fun for myself, and now that i know about the bins i think i'll try to convince my mom to take me to similar places for cheap clothing pieces, since my mom is worried about how much all this costume stuff costs. anyway, please keep posting your cool and beautiful stuff! "

Thank you so much! I wish you luck with your costumes! Yeah, I think there’s a common idea in a lot of fashion communities (like with makeup, costumes, etc.) that you have to always have high quality things to look nice, and even if sometimes you can do more with a little extra money, really you can make anything look good with what you have if you just combine it right. As I’ve always been quite low income, being into fashion and stuff has be discouraging at times, that I couldn’t afford certain materials or items, but you just have to find a niche where what you’re able to do works. For example, a lot of even ‘cheap’ lolita style clothings are too expensive for me (like $30 - $50 for a dress??? then the more pricey ones can be over $100???) lol.. BUT, then stuff like mori kei, cult party kei, fantasy costumes, etc. you can do with nearly any fabric you can find, and it’s still just as fun and creative. Most of the outfits I take pictures of probably cost me no more than $1 - $10 for every single item combined. Obviously it depends on location - I have better access now that I live near a place like the bins, which I understand there may not be similar resources in small towns or etc. But even with generic thrift stores (which may not be as cheap as the bins), you can still find pretty good alternatives to all the money it costs to buy things brand new. There’s still some stuff I legit just can’t do because I don’t have access to the materials, but for the most part I can manage everything I’d like with $3 eye-shadows and 15 cent tattered curtain fabrics lol. You can still do really cool stuff on a pretty nonexistent budget!

10. “do you have any tips on growing your hair long? is it expensive to up keep? i wanna grow mine out but it grows so slow!”

Well, I know nothing about hair and am not a hair stylist or etc. so I really don’t have any tips lol??  And I think hair maintenance depends a lot on the type of hair you have, not everyone’s is the same. I assume we must have similar hair  (my natural hair is thick kind of coarse very dark brown/black hair, which is a bit wavy in some parts but mostly straight, but most of my hair currently (aside from the overgrown roots at the top) is altered because of damage from bleaching and etc., it’s more brittle. so that’s what I’ll be referencing) if you’re asking me this instead of someone else, but just know that whatever I say may not apply to you.  

Anyway, I really don’t do anything to my hair to make it grow or etc., it’s just that I’ve gone a long time without cutting it lol. I used to cut it all the time or change styles, and now I’ve kind of just left it for 5 or 6 years or so. Because of my mental illness I have trouble maintaining personal care and etc., so I do sometimes go a week or more without washing it, even though I’m trying to work that into my schedule more (luckily I don’t have stinky head, I’ve heard some people’s scalp oils and stuff can smell weird if left for too long, I have the privilege of being able to like.. skip on hygiene a lot without it severely impacting my ability to do things or etc. since it’s usually not obvious if I haven’t bathed in a week or two). 

My cat also EATS HUMAN HAIR for some reason, so I have to keep it up all the time, so that when I shed it doesn’t actually just fall loose onto the ground lol. Literally all I do to my hair is just keep it in two braids at all times and wash it with normal shampoo and conditioner occasionally, when I can. I really only think it’s gotten long because I’ve been leaving it alone and not messing with it, not really because of anything I’ve done (like I don’t use fancy products on it or etc.) And because of that, no, it’s not really expensive! It absolutely WOULD be if I were like..a normal functioning person and I regularly bleached it and dyed it and put products on it and styled it and used shampoo and conditioner every 1-3 days on it and etc. lol.. But I guess because I don’t do anything to it to maintain it, I’m not spending money on hairspray or dye or shampoo or etc.  I used to bleach it a lot and straighten it and use hairspray and stuff on it, and it seems healthier (at least on the new top parts) now that I’m just ... ignoring it basically lol. But I don’t really know what to do to make it grow faster! I’m bad at self-care, and even if I do costumes and stuff, I really am not into beauty and hair and nails and makeup and stuff, so I’m probably the wrong person to ask hghjhb.. My upkeep routine is just... eat and sleep. wash face with water daily.. do extra stuff if you can manage to despite your functioning issues, etc. I’m definitely not a Beauty Advice person, I barely brush my hair even once a week lol

11. "Maybe you should reduce the number of races if it's too overwhelming? A world can still be immersive with only a few races in it."

(sidenote - Not to be nitpicky, but I make a specific point that the groups of fantasy creatures I create are species, not ‘’races’’, even though it is a commonly used term in fantasy worldbuilding, I think it’s inaccurate/weird )

I know I don’t have to make so many different groups, but, I guess I just really want it to be a broad setting. Part of the point in creating Nanyevimi (aside from worldbuilding just being extremely fun and a hobby greatly suited to someone with my personality traits lol) is to have an established world that I can do anything within, a framework already built where it'd be super easy to just drop a character anywhere on the map and already have an idea of what their culture, background, experiences, etc. would be based on pre-existing details about that portion of the world, etc. But I also want it to be broad, and varied, where every area kind of has it’s own dynamics going on there, so if you’re in a different place, you get a different kind of story. (like in an elven alliance city, you’d be better suited to tell an adventure story centering around complicated local politics, or city life, or etc.. whereas out in some isolated mountains in the south, it’d be more suited for a mystery story about stumbling across ancient ruins, or running into a mysterious traveler, etc.) 

Which I guess doesn’t matter much, since I'm better at setting, world design, character design, planning, and details than I am at plot, so  I probably won’t actually ever do anything with it (god forbid I tried to write a book or something with my utter inability to be concise/brief in any imaginable way). I can craft settings/characters/history/world-details all day endlessly, never losing inspiration or etc, but my weak point is actually telling stories within those settings and formulating a solid plan, organizing plot structures long term and etc.. Setting up everything for something to happen/creating a place where many interesting premises could occur is fine, but then actually thinking of how those things should OCCUR, or how the set up should play out, is where I get kind of lost. I guess the ideal at some point would be to have people working with me, helping when writing stories in my world/outlining games/etc, to add more cohesion/structure and reign in the unfocused stream of ideas,  but that’s very unlikely since I don’t have any close friends that are good at organizing or plotting either, etc. BUT anyway, even if I can’t ever manage to do anything with it, the whole “having a setting I can use for anything I want if anything ever comes up, which is already established and thus makes it much easier to formulate ideas because all the background work is already done for myself” thing is at least a nice goal.. in concept...theoretically lol..  

And, it’s not really too overwhelming, I think the overwhelming part is actually just formatting and producing those ideas in a consumable form. It’s not hard for me to keep track of 20 different groups and make backgrounds and every imaginable detail for them, but it IS hard to actually take all that information that exists in my head, type it out as a worldbuilding post, format and organize it, draw pictures to go with it, etc. If I could just post long stream of consciousness style 300,000 word long posts with no paragraph breaks, 4000 typos, barely any punctuation, etc., then I’d have A LOT more world-building info publicly available (since that’s what all the initial documents on my computer look like lol), but that’s just so inaccessible it’d be pointless to have public in the first place. The hard part isn’t really coming up with or managing the information, it’s just... organizing it all, and finding a way to share it. 

12. "oh PLEASE tell me what boing peach beverage the elf looks like"

a quick sketch of them.. mysterious peach (and other produce) salesman   

13. "fun question: what are ur fashion pet-peeves?"

Well, basically none because I hate when people are rigid over Fashion Rules or etc. Like, people who take pictures of others in public because they “look weird” , or who constantly trash on what people are allowed to wear, what patterns can be mixed with others, etc. etc. I get that some stuff can look kind of bad sometimes, and it’s not that I think nobody is allowed to criticize fashion trends or etc. (especially if they’re legitimately problematic, like of course someone wearing a homophobic t-shirt or doing blackface should be criticized), but I mean just like... that sort of trivial bitter criticism that doesn’t do anything but make people feel bad about the way they look or make them afraid to dress in ways they feel comfortable. Like taking a picture of someone and posting it online to make fun of them because they wore socks with sandals, or bullying 14 year olds who just started doing makeup and haven’t totally gotten their look sorted out yet, etc. etc. (ESPECIALLY since this can often intersect with classism, racism, etc. if you really examine what people mock as 'ugly' or 'unacceptable' styles, it's often stuff like men wearing dresses/makeup, women not shaving, clothing associated with poverty (like wearing “”cheap”” clothes), physical traits commonly associated with poc, making fun of people who look a certain way likely due to mental illness (like fidgeting, dirty mismatched clothing, carrying stuffed animals or comfort items in public etc.), etc. etc.

I find costumes and makeup and outfits to be a very cool and fun way to express myself. So when people are complete freaks about it and set out to just relentlessly make others feel bad for no good reason, it’s like... obnoxious... How can you take something with so much potential and limit it and close others off and turn it into this rigid hateful thing, when it should be something that everyone is able to be passionate about and appreciate?? Outside appearance isn't everything, but it's a tool of expression for so many people and can relate to who they are as a person, people should never feel uncomfortable to be who they are or look how they look just because some dumbass rich person writing for a style magazine has the gall to declare some random thing to be 'Unfashionable' despite not having a genuinely creative bone in their body, or some bigot thinks that certain things are ‘ugly’ or ‘unprofessional’ due to their own mental associations, etc.

But anyway, I guess if I had to choose a few things that I just think look kind of odd to me personally/are generally off-putting...  

--- the overdrawing lips thing when you can see the persons actual lip-line and it almost looks like they have two mouths or something? (if not done intentionally for costume makeup). It can look a little strange to me sometimes, like an optical illusion where you see multiple mouth lines at once?? idk like this?

--- freckles that are just round circles and really heavy and don’t look realistic (though again, I also realize this could just be the person’s first time drawing them on or something and I’m not  mocking for lack of skill, etc. I just mean that it’s a little strange to look at, not actually BAD though) (and it can also be intentional, like for a cartoony costume look) ---- People adopting cutesy/childlike fashion and clothing and sexualizing it or using it as part of their sex/kink stuff.. I just feel like anything associated with children should not be sexualized..? If the first thing someone thinks when seeing children's school uniforms or frilly little girl’s doll dresses or whatever is that it could be a Hot Thing then hhh... like why is your brain making those connections lol.. People can dress how they want for whatever reasons they want, but that’s always personally creeped me out a little. Similar to our culture’s obsession with looking young being ‘hot’ (like a grown man wanting someone who’s a legal adult but still “looks 16″ or etc.), where it’s like.. okay, I guess yeah outwardly you can make that choice, and maybe aren’t directly causing harm, but.. the underlying tones of it and etc. still make it very unsettling to witness lol... ---- anything appropriated obviously, as well as fetishization or bastardization of cultures, like t-shirts with Japanese writing on them Just For Aesthetic, or taking certain culturally or religiously significant symbols or etc. and adopting them as ‘just a silly fashion’ thing when you’re actually being disrespectful, etc.  ---- those shorts or whatever that go up extremely high on the hipbones always look a little weird to me lol, like they give a person funny proportions, 

(you may have to right click open image in new window and zoom to see the text, but it’s like.. the blank space makes it look kind of weird to me? Like there’s too much where there’s just nothing going on? idk. That’s just my personal preference though, obviously I tend to lean towards busy designs lol)

That’s all I can think of though, like I said, I’m really not picky or judgy about fashion since I think people should be able to do whatever they want for the most part. I’m not like a “omg stripes should NEVER be worn with plaid!!” type person or something lol. 

14. "Hey Luca! I love when you post about your world. Do you have a favorite species you've made up so far? Also, I hope you're holding up well during the crisis!"

AAaa thanks! I’m okay mostly. It’s distressing since because of my particular mental illness I already have constant paranoia and obsessions about health, so of course hearing about so much illness can be really triggering constantly and I’m preoccupied in never-ending anxiety spirals about mortality and etc. etc. etc. , but situationally, I’m just very thankful that nobody in my household has gotten sick yet and I desperately wish that will continue to be the case. *** *** *** 

(ignore the *** *** *** , this is a text version of a physical compulsion (a hand movement) that I have to do when I mention certain topics lol.. the little man in my brain that controls my obsessive compulsive disorder says I must do certain things after saying or thinking certain things,, You Know How It Is ) 

And I really love worldbuilding questions, so thank you so much!!!!! Hghgh maybe it seems weird to favor any over the others, but of course I really like the Avirre'thel. Conceptually, I think their origin story and connection to ancient elves and their abilities and etc. put them in a really unique position in the broader world (some of the only truly immortal people to exist, the only people who can still decipher ancient elven texts in a way that makes sense, etc. etc.). Since Nanyevimi (my world) is really just a setting being built so that in the future I can set things within it (games, short stories, etc.), I think I'm drawn to the aspects of it that have the most potential to make interesting characters, and there are definitely a lot of pre-established dynamics with the Avirre'thel/in Navyete (their home country) as a whole that would make it an good place to set certain things, or a good group for a main character to be from, etc.

I do really like the Jhevona as a species overall too, even if I haven't developed them as much, they also kind of stand out as having some fairly unique features that put them in an interesting position in the world (being one of the most magically capable groups that exists but that also having downsides (health issues and infertility from magic exposure, etc.), how the necessity to keep control over their magic influences their culture, being some of the only natural shape-shifters, etc.). Within that, I REALLY love the Thastanri (a subspecies of Jhevona), like their connection to dreams, the Imkasyn, being one of the last few peoples in contact with real dragons, etc. etc. There are a lot of complex things going on in their area, so there’d be a lot of potential to tell a variety of stories or have interesting characters from that group. 

AND, though it's supposed to be Unknown in the world so I won't talk about it just in case I ever write a book one day or something and need to preserve at least a FEW mysteries that I don't just outright explain in worldbuilding posts, Jhevona do have the most interesting origins of any species in my opinion. There are some things from before the timeline break sort of thing (where all recorded history was seemingly wiped and everyone had a big memory loss about 50,000 yrs ago) that people aren't aware of anymore... but Jhevona used to have a cool backstory and quite interesting function in society prior to that. There are some remnants in the genetics of the species and how their magic works (at least for certain groups) that kind of hint at how ancient Jhevona used to look and what they used to do, even though in the modern day things are very different.

15. "Top 10 songs you've been listening to lately?"

I don’t have a top 10 since I listen to everything for different reasons, and don’t have as deep a relationship with music the way some people do (like I don’t really have a favorite band or group I have a connection with that’s “gotten me through hard times”, or music I cry to/any songs that are specifically personally emotionally meaningful to me, etc., etc.), but here’s a quick playlist of a few favorite-ish things I’ve had in my head a lot recently - 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPmQ4SZdFFHNkgKo7nAiEMgVvLcycX5Qc

the last song on the list specifically I’ve been replaying a lot for some reason, I guess since it’s good background music as there’s no words. Particularly the part that starts around like 38 seconds in, something about that melody reminds me of something distant, in a dreamlike way. The past few days I mostly alternate between that song, Outstanding, and And The Beat Goes On  lol

16. " Do you ever sell sculptures? I really like that little fawn!"

Yeah, I hope to eventually! Like I mentioned in question number three, if I can set up some sort of way to do auctions or etc, then maybe I can sell that one! 

17 & 18 : '"aaa yay!! i missed your outfits!!!" / "can I just say love ur outfits! They're so cool and inspire me to draw my ocs with new outfits > o < and I love your cat too, please give him a big ol pat!"

Thank you!!!! more compliments posted just to show I appreciate them lol, even if I don’t publicly respond to every one~ And, the Boyes appreciate the pats.. here is them.. big babbeys... 

#it bothers me still that I didn't take all the screenshots the same way and there's different colors of nu #mbers and etc. lol.... but some of those are from 4 months ago or more and I had already deleted the original ask #from my inbox so I can't go rescreencap it to match the others.. #this is the issue inherent in taking so long to answer things that I just respond in large batches lol #replies #okay also I know it's been months but... one of you has to like this post or at least show you read/interacted with my #response somehow because I cannot spend like 4-5 hours typing stuff for others if nobody will read it ghghg #( i know i make it take longer by being rambly and etc. but.. still...) #I'm sorry they sat in my inbox a long time and etc. but... also..... my pwecious time and effort #i hope at least one of the people I'm responding to sees that i did indeed reply to them lol

[lovesickjily]

present: me

Summary: When Lily Evans is assigned to be a stranger's Secret Santa, she has no idea that by the end of the night, she was the gift that James Potter had wanted the entire time.

give me some love on ao3 or ffn

okay hi merry christmas!!! sorry this fic may sound a bit rushed, but i really wanted to finish this by christmas and i did it? i hope you all enjoy xxx

There were, as Lily speculated, many feelings that people felt when it came to the topic of Christmastime, a time in which everyone showed their love towards friends and family through the gifting and receiving of presents that consequently caused them to end up with so little money that would bring Santa to tears.

Feelings of mirth and joy were expected on the holiday that foresaw snow, but frustration? She didn’t expect any of that days before Christmas.

It wasn’t that Lily hated watching her bank account come to a horrible decline during this season, because the one thing that she absolutely loved more than receiving gifts was buying them. She revelled in watching the eyes of such gift recipients, especially when they lit up like a Christmas tree, and it made her money deficit well worth it.

With Mary, who was known for her embodiment of the concept ‘the more the merrier,’ it was easy to find a gift for her, whether it was one based on sentimentality or one where the price tag had been taken off of it, Mary accepted anything and everything, so long as it wasn’t unattractive in design and form. With Petunia, who was one for the traditional gifts, it wasn’t difficult to find an expensive vase from online that appealed to those who prided themselves in outdoing every single one of their neighbours. She bought an expensive watch for Petunia’s husband, because it seemed like a good gift simply because of the price. Whether he decided to sell it or keep it was honestly up to him, though she hoped very well that it wouldn’t end up rotting in one of his sock drawers.

Now, shopping for a stranger was something entirely on its own.

She’d no idea what Remus had been thinking to invite her to a party where she knew only one person and was even more confused when everyone was assigned a person at random to bring a gift to. From the conversations in the group chat that she had been added to, she could tell that everyone else knew one another well enough, if one could conclude from the jabs that ‘Prongs’ and ‘Padfoot’ continuously sent towards one another.

Eventually, that chat was put on mute, and she’d told Remus— as well as Sirius Black, who was apparently the host of the party— to inform her of any updates about the party. Asking the latter, it seemed, had turned out to be a poor decision on her part, because it seemed as if his sole intent on living was to pester her to the point that she often found her finger hovering over the ‘block contact’ button, only to stop since he unfortunately was the host. There was also the fact that clicking such a simple button was probably exactly what he wanted, and she was definitely not going to let this stranger win.

The last thing that she wanted was to show up in front of his house and be greeted with an infuriatingly cocky on his face.

On the other hand, the first thing that she wanted now at this very moment was to know what exactly to get whoever this ‘James Potter’ person wanted for a gift, but asking Constellation Boy only resulted in responses such as “He wants you for Christmas” with an absurd amount of winking faces.

If she was to browse the Internet in search of gifts to give to strangers, what if there was the chance that he was also her Secret Santa and was on that very same website?

No, she was going to put her utmost creativity into this gift, whatever it may be.

The only question was how she was going to do that.

She couldn’t exactly throw some sentimental value into it, not when there was no sentimental value to be thrown in the first place, but she didn’t want to at all give him something cheaply overdone, like an expensive bottle of perfume or wine. There were rules about gifts, and there was unanimous agreement that one should never get a person such items for Christmas— that is, unless their name was Vernon Dursley.

It was in these moments that she’d taken advantage of the annoying group chat— currently named “Jingle My Balls,” and she could bet all the toys in the world on who had decided to name it that— to scour for any valuable information that could give her an idea of what James Potter had an interest in.

Deer, it seemed.

Lots and lots and lots of deer.

She couldn’t understand his obvious fixation for deer and its venison counterparts, but she sincerely hoped that Remus wasn’t acquainted with someone who prided himself in the slaughtering of deer just for the fun of it. It could help to explain his ridiculous nickname, and she’d almost roped herself into believing that Remus Lupin was the only sane one in their friend group, only to learn that he had been named for a reason that could only be related to the act of mooning.

If she were to get James some sort of food for Christmas, it surely was not going to be of the venison sort.

Perhaps she’d bake cookies for him and call it a day, but they didn’t last forever, not unless he decided to preserve it for reasons unbeknownst to her, and she wanted to create a lasting first impression on him.

James Potter, what in the world could you want?

Could he be interested in pottery, if one could go by his last name?

Obviously, she wasn’t going to put minimal effort into his gift, and he obviously was far from a Petunia, so a ceramic vase— no matter how expensive it was— was just not going to make do. There was nothing wrong with homemade items, and she’d actually greatly prefer homemade objects over the store-bought pieces.

Perhaps…?

Hopefully, he’d love what she had planned for him.

The final obstacle remaining was that she’d never in her life taken a pottery class.

+++

There was a difference between going all out and doing exactly what it was that this household had seemed to do when it came for Christmas decorations.

Lily liked to think that she fell in the former category, having decorated nearly every inch of her flat with pretty fairy lights and a giant Christmas tree in the corner of every room, and even the bathroom contained a small Christmas tree resting atop the counter. Tinsel lined the tops of the mock fireplace in their living room, and in every part of the flat, there was some Christmas decoration of some sort.

But this house— mansion?

It was on a completely different spectrum of its own.

The front lawn seemed as if it had taken everything that could be seen in the Christmas outdoor section featured at every store, and in places where snow hadn’t fallen, fake snow was used to create the illusion that the place was a magical castle in a kingdom where winter was eternal. There were, of course, a line of deer made entirely out of lights lining up the pathway, and at the very end stood a dog made of lights and a pair of antlers atop the animal.

If she had any doubts about whether or not she’d come to the right place, then these doubts were put at ease.

“This is the place,” she said to Mary, though it came out more as a question rather than anything else.

“The one and only.”

“Are you sure we aren’t— I don’t know— planning a heist? Following the plot of the Bling Ring?”

“Maybe next time,” Mary said nonchalantly, “But I don’t see why you should when you’re being offered free food here. Remember, stay safe, and please bring me a plate of whatever food they have there.”

With one last look, Mary gave her a reassuring beam as she bent down to begin her search party, as her phone had fallen off of the dashboard and slid off to who knows where. It ultimately meant that she was going to dawdle in the car for an unreasonable amount of time because she didn’t want to step out into the cold so quickly, as it was just characteristic of Mary to do stay in her comfort zone for as long as she deemed possible. It was for that reason that Lily decided to knock at the door before the frosty air could hold her captive as well.

The door thankfully opened quickly, and amidst the sweet smell of cookies and all the positivity that embodied Christmas, she caught sight of, well, reindeer. It wasn’t off-putting that it was reindeer. It was off-putting that it was reindeer. Atop each other.

She wasn’t being subjected to real-live reindeer, of course, as they were graphics that appeared on the sweater of some bloke bold enough to wear it to the party. If the sweater hadn’t had the reindeer engaged in such an illicit act, it probably could have been a lovely sweater.

They could have matched, actually, because she was wearing a sweater similar to his, the only main difference being the fact that her deer were nowhere near one another, and hers was mainly black while his was mainly blue.

She felt her eyebrows furrowing in confusion at the sight, and she blinked twice. “You must be James.”

She’d finally managed to tear her eyes away from the deer to look up at him, and she’d nearly fallen onto her knees at the fact that he was so attractive to the point that he absolutely had to know how attractive he was. It didn’t help that there was a pair of antlers atop his head, and they only served to draw attention to his messy hair, hair wild enough to make her thoughts wander off into territory that they shouldn’t have stumbled upon in the first place.

And then her gaze flickered right back to his sweater, where the reindeer seemed to be mocking her.

It was only then that he’d been able to somewhat redeem himself when he opened his mouth, and how how how could a voice be equally as attractive as his physique?

“Yeah? What gave it away?”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “You’ve got reindeer fucking on your sweater.”

He let out an embarrassed laugh, and she couldn’t help but notice the way his cheeks pinked at her observation. He let out a soft sigh. “I can’t believe the prettiest person I’ve ever seen in my life knows me as the bloke who wears sweaters with graphics of reindeer procreation. I swear I’m being forced to wear this right now.”

Her shoulders sagged in relief. “I was beginning to feel concern for you, a stranger. I still do feel concern, actually. I assume it was Sirius who put you up for that?”

He nodded grimly. “We made a bet. Signed a contract to wear it if I lose and everything.”

“I’m so sorry that he’s disgraced deer like that. No one should ever involuntarily wear clothing that display any form of animal procreation.”

Her words seemed to have some sort of a strong effect on him, and he began smiling so wide that she could make out a dimple growing on the left side of his face. He opened his mouth to respond, when a piercing voice rang through the air, as if the evil form of Father Christmas had awaken to fill all of their stockings with coal.

“Close the fucking door, you fucking—” There was, of course, only one person whose voice that could have belonged to, and her eyes met grey, comprehension growing in his eyes as he realised who she was. “Fuck. Close the door. I’ll be right back.”

“Sirius,” she said simply.

“Unfortunately,” he replied, and he looked out towards the car, “Is your friend coming in?”

Lily regarded his question with little interest and shook her head. “She’s just dropping me off.”

He nodded in acknowledgement. “You’re Lily, right?”

“Unless you were expecting the actual flower, that would be me.”

“I’d say you came to please, then. You’re just as pretty as one.”

She didn’t know what to say in response, because it wasn’t as if she was unconfident in her looks, but it was the mere fact that he’d managed to flirt with her twice in the span of a few minutes. “You can definitely do much bet—”

She was cut off by the sound of heavy footsteps once again, and Sirius returned with something green in his hand. She already knew what it was without even having to get a close look of it, if the deep sighs coming from James were of any indication.

“Padfoot, I swear if you bloody hang that over our heads—”

“That’s quite presumptuous of you to think that I’m trying to incite non-consensual kissing between strangers.”

“Then explain why you’ve got mistletoe in your hand.”

Sirius hung it over his own head. “I’m doing everyone a favour by giving all of you permission to kiss me, the one and only Sirius Black. This is a one-time offer, so I’d say you should take advantage of this opportunity.”

Lily concealed any feeling of disgust that he’d stirred up from his horrible offer, because she came to this party with absolutely no intention of kissing anybody, let alone Sirius, who she honestly thought couldn’t possibly be a horrible person and that his way of texting merely gave off strange vibes. Perhaps he wasn’t a terrible person in the sense that he was decent enough for Remus to befriend, but, as she’d already known long before, looks gave no clue of how a person was on the inside.

“Right, so where do I place this down?” she asked instead, holding up her present that she’d wrapped carefully.

“Don’t know about the box, but you could place yourself down on James’s—”

“Beneath the Christmas tree should be fine,” James had cut in, and he placed tentative fingers on her shoulders, to which she felt warmth spreading throughout her body, “Here, I’ll show you where it is.”

“It’s right there—” she began, but upon realising that he was helping to whisk her away from Sirius, who looked as if the being who he’d successfully been able to bag was Death itself— what with his pale skin and body covered head-to-toe in all black, save the small bit of his red shirt peeking out from beneath his leather jacket— she stopped herself. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.”

It was a problem, actually, because she thought she’d resolved every single one of her worries when she’d finally finished making his gift for him, but she’d been far too busy dwelling on making it so that he would enjoy his present that she hadn’t even stopped for a moment to consider that he might actually fall under the category of men that seemed to make her heart do backflips. And when Sirius was unsubtly running around with mistletoe in his hands, it was obvious that both her and James were to be subjected to uncomfortability, similar to the way people wanted celebrities to date one another on the basis that they were both attractive people.

She didn’t speak her thoughts, instead choosing to plaster a smile on her face, which in all honestly wasn’t at all difficult to do, not when the interior of the place was just as festive as it was outside. The tree stood taller than any tree that she could have ever put up at her flat, and it must have taken a painstaken amount of time to decorate all of it. At closer inspection, she noticed the tree had a good number of ornaments containing images of who she assumed were either James or Sirius at different stages of life making funny faces at the camera.

“Don’t judge,” he said from behind her.

“Oh, I can assure you that I’ve expected no form of normality in this household since you’ve opened the door.”

He grinned at her. “Yeah? Have my expectations been up to par, then?”

“Somewhere up there,” she allowed, “Though, I don’t think there’s too much pride you can have in how stranger perceives you, especially when it’s on the low end of the metre.”

“I take immense pride in that, for your information. I’m taking it as a good sign, since you’ve yet to pelt an ornament at me.”

“I’d say you’re going to only have good signs, then. I, contrary to popular belief, do not pelt ornaments at people.”

“I’d pelt an ornament at any idiot who would believe you more than willing to do such a thing.”

She couldn’t help the laughter bubbling from her lips at his words, and it seemed that he took great pride in getting a laugh from her, because her actions had spurred him on to smile just as widely. Somehow, he’d managed to find a way to be such a dork while still simultaneously coming off as charming.

The ring at the doorbell snapped them out of it, and he flashed her an apologetic smile. “Duty calls— rings? Dunno which word is more fitting, but I’ll have to go greet the other guests. I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“I’ll remember to not pelt any ornaments during the wait,” she smiled, and it only served to make his dimple greet her once again as he grinned.

“I knew you’d understand.”

With that, he left her to her own devices. Someone— most likely Sirius— had begun blaring Mariah Carey, the spirit of all things concerning Christmas, and if that didn’t add to the strangeness of it all, she didn’t know what did.

She placed the gift down carefully beside a red gift bag decorated with white snowflakes, and it was quite possibly the most normal sight she’d seen in the house so far— perhaps the only normal sight she’d be seeing for the night.

It was, most definitely, going to be a long night.

+++

For a place that could have possibly housed an entire army, there weren’t as many people as Lily had thought would show up.

There were so much more than she could have expected.

She’d thought that they’d only invited their inner circle of friends if she were to judge from the small number of people in the group chat, and so it would be a complete understatement if Lily said that she thought that she’d feel completely out of place in a room where inside-jokes populated the conversations. It seemed that James, who was the owner of this house— or at least one of the owners, seeing as his parents had been away on a business trip and wouldn’t return until the week of Christmas— was just as surprised as she was by the amount of people showing up.

It seemed that somebody had decided to pass on the message that anybody who learned about the details of the party was invited, and at one point, James literally had to lock the door so as to keep people out, but when Sirius had brought up the point that people could easily climb in through the windows and over the fences, his efforts were rendered futile.

It would be an absolute miracle if the neighbours didn’t call the cops on them.

Sirius, once one got over his many bouts of inappropriate behaviour, was actually a somewhat hilarious person who, in a way, seemed to understand her. It wasn’t her fault that her eyes kept wandering over to James, who’d taken to putting a pillow right over his chest so that he could cover up the cursed image of the reindeer, because she still couldn’t fully fathom how a person could be so attractive without doing anything even remotely interesting, and it definitely wasn’t her fault that Sirius was ribbing her for it.

Sure, Sirius was the conventional type of attractive, but when someone like James was there, Sirius was merely a rock and James a diamond.

It didn’t help that everyone— save for James— was painfully aware of her staring. She felt shame welling up inside of her, because she knew all too well that there was so much more in a person than their appearance, and she herself hated when people merely saw her as nothing more than how she looked. Now, though, she was doing the exact same thing she was entirely against, only, it was with James.

She didn’t even know him that well, and as much as she’d like to say that she’d spent the majority of her time conversing with him, she knew that would be an absolute lie, as she had barely talked to him since she’d greeted him at the door. She’d caught glimpses of his personality through the texts that he sent to the group chat, and she’d be an absolute liar if she wasn’t at all intrigued by his mannerism and himself as a whole.

She wanted to learn more about him, learn about his strange fixation with deer, learn everything there was to know about him, like if he was really the type of man her parents would have liked to see her walking down the aisle with: the type of man who made her completely and utterly happy.

Sirius leaned over to her, because of course she would be the one to end up sitting beside him, even if for just a short period of time. Of course he would, yet again, pick up on her stares. “You can’t fuck if you don’t talk to each other first.”

“I’d say in some extreme cases, that would be a complete lie.”

“I’m prone to agree, but since that idiot has only had unsuccessful dates this entire year, I’m obligated to step up. You’d make his entire bloody new year.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t exist for the sole purpose of making one single person happy.”

“Of course not, but we all know how you’ve been fucking James with your eyes, so spare yourself of wasted time and sit on his lap. He wouldn’t protest.”

“I’d protest,” she replied scathingly, “And he’s talking to his line of admirers.”

‘Talking’ was a word being used loosely here, because he seemed to be the only person speaking, having gone on about a story about himself from when he was younger. It seemed that he’d been engaged in a conversation with Remus earlier, but after the first three women came from nowhere, Remus had left him alone with them, and so he’d been forced to conversate with them, unless he fancied being found in a ditch the following day. She could already sense his discomfort from just the way his smile seemed permanently glued on to his face.

“To cut the conversation short,” Sirius began, feeling no sense of empathy for his mate, “You’re holding back.”

“I didn’t come here for you to play matchmaker.”

“But little do you know,” Sirius sighed.

“Pardon?”

“What?” Sirius asked, “You’re forgiven.”

“I’ve absolutely no reason to apologise—”

“There’s always a reason to apologise. For one thing, you’re stealing me away from the other guests. Everyone needs an equal share of Sirius Black—”

She blanched. “Right, well, that’s already enough incentive to walk away from you right about now.”

“That’s the spirit,” he replied, “Repulsion is the first step to a blossoming friendship. Let me be best man, if that isn’t too much to ask.”

“You didn’t even ask.”

“You didn’t offer. I’ve got to take matters into my own hands.”

She scoffed lightly at him. “It was nice meeting you formally, Sirius.”

“Not sure if that’s sarcasm or if you’re being genuine, but either way, I’ll take it as a compliment.”

She had to hand it to him; she wasn’t sure just exactly what he was capable of, but if Sirius Black was ever handed the opportunity to take over the world, he’d turn down that chance just to find his own means of world domination.

She watched as he walked over to the group with James, said a few magical words, and the next thing that she knew, Sirius had taken the women off of James’s hands as if they were moths and he was a flame.

What she hadn’t expected, however, was to see Sirius pushing James directly towards her, and it seemed as if he was a reindeer soaring through the sky, but the metaphor suddenly seemed unsuiting when she found him crashing right into her.

Or, nearly crashing, and she could already feel how awkward it would have been if he’d fallen atop of her, what with their bodies right up against one another and his face merely centimetres away from hers.

In reality, though, Sirius’s pushing was merely a light shove, because his arms just weren’t strong enough to move somebody across the room and acted only as encouragement more than anything else.

“Hello, hi,” James said, and he sent a glare towards Sirius, “We meet again. Your reindeer are still living in solitude, I see.”

She couldn’t help the smile growing on her face. “I see yours are still going at it. Do they ever stop?”

“Right? It’s quite rude to all the guests around here. They need to find their own time and place to make love.”

She nodded. “They are domestic animals. I expected much more from them. Do you want to go somewhere more quiet? Mariah’s gotten a bit annoying after the first five rounds of All I Want For Christmas Is You.”

“Sure, as long as it’s not for the purposes of love-making. I’d like to at least take you out on a date first.”

“Then, to your room?”

“If you insist,” he joked, and she felt her lips curling upwards once again.

+++

“Why the fixation with deer?” was the very first thing that she’d asked once they’d entered his room. She’d noticed that his devotion to Christmas only seemed to continue on behind the privacy of his door, as even the bedsheets had been changed to mimic Christmas. There was, of course, a Christmas tree in the corner of his room, and rather than the small ones that some people put, the tree was of average size. Beneath the tree were the gifts that were brought for the Secret Santa ceremony, which James had relocated in case any of the uninvited guests had decided that it would be a good idea to snatch them.

She made herself comfortable on his bed, patting the space beside her to motion for him to sit down, that she wouldn’t falsely made accusations at him if he got too close to her. He chuckled at her question. “Its antlers look like a crown, and we both know that I am the most majesty being in the world.”

She fought the urge to roll her eyes at him, because though she hadn’t known him for that long, seemed like such a him thing to say. “A real answer, please.”

“You’d laugh.”

“Only if it’s funny.”

She watched his lips rise at the corners. “I took a quiz about what my spirit animal would be, and I got a stag. That’s what made my interest stagnant, I’d say.”

She unceremoniously let out a huff of air. “You made that pun on purpose.”

“Ah, don’t tell me you don’t have an appreciation for puns.”

“I have an appreciation for the funny ones.”

“I’m actually so offended right now. I’m not funny?”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that you’re funny. Your puns are the ones that need some work.”

“It was hilarious.”

“For you perhaps, but since you base your pride on the beliefs of strangers, your opinions don’t seem to matter in this scenario.”

“Oi, my puns are the greatest, thank you very much. I think your opinion is skewed because you’ve been too distracted by the reindeer fornicating on my sweater.”

She laughed. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You’re laughing, which means that I am completely and utterly hilarious.”

“If you say so,” she sang, “Will you pelt an ornament at me so as to convince me otherwise?”

“Violence is never the answer. I’ve other alternatives, like begging and pleading you to please fuel my ego as it so desires.”

“I’m sure looking in the mirror gives you enough fuel to last the entire week. Month, maybe.”

“Are you calling me handsome?”

“I’m certainly not calling your puns funny.”

“I don’t know whether I should be turned on by the fact that you think I’m attractive or off because you think I’m unfunny.”

There was something in his tone that made her think that he was edging near the former option rather than the latter, and the manner in which his breaths were coming out more slowly was even more of a signal that he wanted something to happen between them just as much as she did.

“Maybe,” she started, and her fingers began moving up his thigh, inching upwards until she was cupping his chin, feeling the light stubble on his face, “We could reach a com—”

She was cut off by the sound of the door bursting open.

It was, of course, Sirius, who looked unsurprised at the sight of them on the bed together. “I’m going to assume that I interrupted you lot, but I’d say that you deserved it, because both of you were too slow to jump the other first thing when you laid eyes on each other.”

“What do you want, Padfoot?” James grumbled, and he removed a hand from her arm, which she hadn’t even noticed had been on her person.

“A lot of things, actually.” She cocked an eyebrow at him. Perhaps the eggnog that they’d served had gotten to his brain, if the alcohol that he’d dunked into the Christmas drink hadn’t done so already. “Anyway, we need to open presents. Oi, you lot. We’re opening presents, and no, that doesn’t include me.”

Sirius clapped ostentatiously to attract everyone’s attention, as if his random outburst hadn’t been heard by perhaps the entire neighbourhood. “We do not need a hearing aid for a present this Christmas,” Remus said as he walked in, and he regarded his mug of eggnog with disdain, as if it was Sirius in the form of a liquid.

It seemed that Sirius had already gathered all of the people who were involved in the ceremony, as a few other people walked in afterwards, and only Peter seemed sympathetic enough to flash them a look of apology for intruding on them.

“Never said anything about a hearing aid,” Sirius replied, “Maybe you need the hearing aid.”

“After your outbursts, I reckon we’ll all need hearing aids. Calm your arse, yeah?” James put in, and Lily felt that had the opportunity arisen, she most definitely would have paid to hear more of his lovely voice.

“He’s excited for presents,” Peter Pettigrew added, “I’m excited.”

“Don’t tell anyone, but I made sure that no one got Pete for Secret Santa,” Sirius drawled, and Lily whacked him lightly with a nearby pillow.

“That’s completely unsuitable for the occasion.”

“It’s fine, Lily,” Peter started, “He says things like that all the time. I’ve built an immunity to it.”

“You shouldn’t have to tolerate it.”

“If this helps,” James began, “I was your Secret Santa. Your present is the one with the gold wrapper, because I use only the finest materials.”

Peter scrambled up to grab the present as described, and this was more or less how it had went on, with everyone having an unspoken agreement on who could throw the most jabs at each other. Sirius was, unsurprisingly, Lily’s Secret Santa, and he’d thought it hilarious to include a gag gift in with the real gift— a pink scarf and an insanely giant framed picture of himself. It went on to show that the size of a present truly didn’t make it a good gift, and she’d have to find some open space in her closet to hang the portrait up on. It would have been quite rude of her to not put up the portrait.

Annoyingly enough, Sirius was completely and deliberately delaying her from giving her gift to James, and when the time finally came for her to give James the concrete embodiment of her hard work and effort, Sirius again was unsubtle in hiding his motives. She took her previous thoughts back. He could definitely not conquer the world, no matter how hard he tried.

“I’ve going to take a sh—”

“If you finish that last thought, I will throw you out the window,” Remus threatened.

“Remus and I will be going— actually, no, let’s all go together.”

“I am not going anywhere near the bathroom with you,” Remus interjected, looking aghast at the prospect.

“You’ve no choice—”

“I always have a choice,” Remus replied, and Lily had been looking on with such amusement that she’d been a bit surprised when he turned towards her, “I am so sorry for his behaviour.”

“I am so sorry that you’ve had to endure him for, what was it, the entirety of your life?”

“That’d be about right,” Peter cut in with a nod.

“I can’t believe you’re all ganging up on me.”

“You can’t honestly expect to intrude upon James and I for open gifts, only to unsubtly leave us alone when it’s time for James to open his present, can you?” she asked Sirius.

“That only makes it even more fun for him,” James said beside her, “And I’d rather they leave now than never.”

“You love us.”

“Yeah, yeah. Get out, and I’ll see about that.”

James, at that point, had taken to escorting them out of the room, and with one swift motion, he closed the door shut and clicked the lock in place. He walked towards the tree, picking up the very last gift that remained before seating himself right back beside her.

“You couldn’t have possibly found a way to clone yourself, have you?”

She found her cheeks growing red, and she shook her head. “Not unless I also found some way to shrink myself.”

He smiled softly at her response. “It’s only that I think that the best present I’ve gotten so far is meeting you.”

“Honestly, if you don’t think that this will be the best present you’ve ever seen in your life, I’m afraid I’ll have to cut off all contact with you. I worked too hard on this gift for it to only be second to myself.”

She watched his smile blossom into something nearly as radiant as a flower at her words, and he shook his head, looking a bit bashful. “Nothing could ever beat you.”

His hands drifted down to the bow that she’d tied on top of the box, slowly pulling it off, and she was glad to see that he was not one of those monsters that destroyed the wrapping paper in order to get to the gift faster. He did the action with some speed, though he was being awfully considerate in not tearing it either, and when he did accidentally make a small rip, he let out a small apology to the paper, as if he was hurting it.

Her heart only moved quicker at that action.

When he opened the box, pulling out the mug that she’d been putting all of her painstaking effort into creating, he let out a nearly inaudible gasp at the sight. He scrutinised every inch of it, and his face didn’t even once diverge from amazement, even when there was so clearly a mistake in the way she’d made it.

“You made this?” he said inconceivably, and she nodded, “How could anyone make something so bloody nice? Fucking— you’re so talented.”

She knew that his words were making her face turn so red that she had to be the living embodiment of the colours of Christmas now, because it was one thing for him to compliment her appearance, but it was something completely difficult when he was praising her work.

She’d made him a ceramic mug, having used so much of the patience that was a gift she could never have gotten from anyone other than her parents and the universe.

She’d done all of it herself, even going the length of digging out and cleaning her own clay in the back of her yard because it would take far too long to ship clay to her home, and on the side of the mug, she’d painted, of course, a reindeer.

He placed the mug down onto his bedside table and took her face tentatively in his. “Can I—”

“Please.”

He smiled widely at her, and with that, he pressed his lips to her, the taste of the eggnog he’d prepared filling her senses. There were so many things that she’d imagined to happen when he’d gotten his gift, which included— but was not limited to— him simply thanking her, or, had he turned out to be a malicious person, would have slammed all of her effort onto the ground, effectively splitting the mug into a million pieces.

She didn’t realise that she’d end up kissing him. She didn’t realise that she’d love kissing him.

There was something so tantalisingly sweet about the way he was holding on to her chin and something so utterly desirable about the manner in which he was kissing her. It wasn’t too slow or too fast, and it wasn’t even helping that her heart had taken to soaring throughout her body as if it was a shooting star, sending wonder towards every single one of its witnesses.

She’d found it too much of a coincidence that he’d end up being the person who she had to get a gift for, found it too much of a coincidence that she’d wind up being added to a group chat in which everyone but her was close with one another, and—

“Oh my goodness,” she said against his lips, and she pulled away, her eyes opening so that green could meet gold.

It was not a coincidence.

“Are you all right?” he asked her, and the way in which his glasses were skewed only added to his confusion.

She nodded. “It’s just— aren’t you peeved?”

“Peeved?” He looked more perplex. “About what?”

“We’ve so obviously been set up, and it took me this long to realise it.”

“We’ve been…” he repeated, and he blinked once, then once again. “What?”

“It’s so obvious now that Sirius set all of this up so that we could meet. Don’t you—” Her eyes widened slightly when his cheeks flared up, signifying that he knew something. He knew something. “James.”

“Right, yeah, I didn’t realise that this was a set up until after you were added to the chat, but I swear— I just thought that you were a cool person because you’re on the phone with Remus a lot. I didn’t think Sirius would take the initiative to do all of that. I— are you mad?”

Was she mad?

No, she didn’t think she was, or, at least she wasn’t mad at him.

“No,” she answered honestly, finding his rambling to be cute, “I’m not mad at all. I got to meet you, didn’t I? I think that’s enough compensation.”

“But we both agree that Sirius isn’t getting away with this.”

Her lips curled upwards. “After a few more rounds of kissing. And the sweater goes off.”

“I thought you were starting to warm up to it.”

“I could honestly never,” she laughed, but he complied anyway, pulling the cursed top off of himself. Her fingers lightly roamed over the exposed skin, and she found him kissing her once again.

There were many feelings that people felt when it came to the topic of Christmastime, but right now, all Lily could feel was joy.

There was also that small bit of wrath felt towards Sirius, but when joy was the dominant feeling, who cared what else she felt?

All she focused on was joy. Joy and joy and joy.

#omg i really wrote 6.5k in two days #what a los3r #jily #jily fic #jily au #jily fanfic #jily fanfiction #james and lily #james potter #lily evans #james x lily #lsj writes

[melonkooky]

bts [maknae line] reaction - seeing their s/o getting into a fight to defend them

requested

genre: mainly angst, fluff at the end kinda (honestly i don’t know how to categorize this)

please do not copy my work. but please like and reblog it. thank you!!!!

masterlist

park jimin

today, you joined jimin and the boys at practice. jimin claimed that you could give them some pointers while they practiced some of their dances, but they didn’t really acknowledge that you were in the room. which was fine with you. you could still do your own thing and be able to watch your boyfriend do the thing he loves doing. you weren’t the best at giving feedback anyway.  it was probably halfway through your day when it started to not go so well, after how chill it had been going peacefully. while on your twitter, you were just messing around on it, catching up on some news, checking for new comebacks. but then the app alerted you that someone had messaged you. (fortunately, many fans know about you but are kind enough to not blast your phone about your relationship with him). you opened the message and read the not-so-kind words of this random stranger. it was some bitch. maybe she didn’t mean to tell you these things, but it was too big of a coincidence that she mistakenly happened to message you... she couldn’t have mistaken you for someone else when everyone knows who you are. but the message made your blood boil. “omg, park jimin is so uuuggglllyyy. like no one likes him. but his body is hot tho...” and more things.

first of all....no. you blew off, typing things back. she replied almost immediately, and a social media fight began. you were glaring and aggressively typing on your phone, so concentrated on this fight that you didn’t even notice that jimin had taken a seat next to you, and became slightly fearful by your expression. he stared at the anger in your eyes and got worried. he had an idea that it had to do with a fan, or an anti in this matter. so, he gently nudged you. “jagi?”

you snapped out of it, “jimin, this girl needs some new glasses and a new brain. you’re not ugly, you are amazing...” you started giving him a thousand compliments off the top of your head.

jimin smiled widely, realizing the situation at hand. “don’t listen to them.” he reassured you. though he normally would have been bothered by such things, he has you to realize that they don’t mean anything. 

kim taehyung

you left taehyung at home. you were currently at your best friend’s house. you two decided to hang out and talk, and then later head out for some lunch. what she didn’t tell you was that a “good” friend of hers was tagging along. honestly you were slightly upset as you thought it was going to be just you and her spending some time together. when you met her said friend, sooyeon, something was off about her. when you shook her hand, her smile didn’t seem genuine, the corners of her eyes didn’t crinkle like they would if she was actually as happy as she claimed to be when meeting you. but maybe you were just paranoid that she was tagging along. while sitting in the living room, you left to go to the restroom, right before you guys would leave for that lunch. when you were coming back, you caught them talking. “i found this picture of taehyung hugging another girl on the internet. take a look.”

“sooyeon-”

“see, taehyung is a little fuckboy. i need to post it on the internet.”

you stepped out. “a fuckboy? let me see the picture.” sooyeon’s eyes widened but she showed you the picture. “he’s cheating on you, y/n. he has some mistress hiding somewhere.”

you glared at you. “that girl he’s hugging is me. he was filming something and i got cold during a break, so we hugged.”

she clenched her jaw. “that’s not you.”

“how would you know?!” you yelled, getting defensive and angry towards the girl.

she swung first, that you could proudly tell when they ask you what happened. after she tackled you and started swinging her fists like a crazy woman, your friend pulled her off. she sent her away and apologized, telling her that she insisted on coming along to meet you.

later when you arrived home, taehyung first asked you if you were in pain. but then he excitedly wanted to know the whole story. you told the story, being very enthusiastic about it. taehyung was touched, seeing how you stood up for him when she was trying to spread something totally false. he made sure to cuddle you with extra, extra love that night.

jeon jungkook

you and jungkook were at home, chilling. he was watching some anime on the tv, but it was an anime you were never interested in so you didn’t bother watching. you were on the couch for the cuddles only. as you leaned against him, you were on your phone. while checking on of your social media platforms, you noticed a random post. “yah? don’t you guys get that jungkook only became famous after showing his abs in fake love?” it was some anti, and you were not going to accept this. when you looked at the comments, of course many hit back at her but as nicely as they could, but there were a handful that actually agreed. you decided that they needed a piece of your mind. you pettily clapped back, starting your rant with, “as jungkook’s girlfriend...” and began typing away about all the things he was good for, not including his looks at all. because it’s what inside that counts. and you got so focused on that, you didn’t know that jungkook was trying to leave the couch. he was hungry. “yah, jagi.” he didn’t want to force you off.

you didn’t listen so he took a glance at your screen, seeing what you were to focused on. he read the whole essay you were dedicating to him. he read parts about how you were proving the anti wrong and knew that you were in a social media battle with someone. his heartbeat began to beat faster and he looked at your concentrated face. he stared at you, in some kind of trance (insert gif here). he truly was in love with you. when you were done, you saw that jungkook was staring at you. you waved your hand in front of his face and he blinked back to reality. he shook his head, a hint of red appearing on his cheeks. “you didn’t have to do that. but thanks.” he smiled.

you blushed, proud at your work of art.

#park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #bts reaction #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #bts #bts angst kinda #bts fluff kinda #idk how to categorize this #v

[bunnyinatree]

Tagging Meme

Rules:  Answer 21 questions then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better

I was tagged by @aroacevaljean! (This is so exciting, thank youuu!!) 

1. Nickname: I like advertising my name as Rose online, even though it’s my middle name, because I still have the fear of Internet stranger danger instilled in me from elementary school, and it feels much safer than using my first name.  (Though maybe I can be a little bit bolder and ask people to call me Cam, instead!)  

2. Zodiac: Taurus sun, Aries moon, and Libra rising! 

3. Height: 5′3″

4. Last movie I watched: Song of the Sea (Unsurprisingly, I cried.) 

5. Last thing I googled: “vituperative definition”  (Spoiler alert: It means “bitter and abusive”!) 

6. Favorite musician: My two favorite bands are Death Cab for Cutie (big nostalgia from my high school days) and Blind Pilot (the band I most recently discovered and fell in love with)!

7. Song stuck in my head: "Waterloo” by ABBA.  (My internal soundtrack been cycling pretty nicely for the past couple days, but this was the last song that pestered me so obnoxiously, I had to listen to it on repeat.) 

8. Other blogs: I have a sideblog dedicated to Pokemon Mystery Dungeon!! :D  Usually, I let all my interests merge into a single blog (this one!!), but for tagging purposes, I decided to separate PMD from this blog--because if I want to see my darling leaf gecko, not just any Grovyle in my Grovyle tag will do. ;) 

9. Do I get asks: Every so often. :) 

10. Blogs following: 860 

11. Amount of sleep: I tend to shoot for about 8 hours, if I can! 

12. Lucky number: 73--and 11, to a lesser extent.  

13. What I’m wearing: Floral pajama bottoms, a t-shirt, and a hoodie! 

14. Dream job: Children’s / YA librarian!  I would love to just Be Amongst the Books.  And also, organizing fun programs for grade schoolers sounds amazing!!  Coordinating Percy Jackson-themed parties and managing book clubs?  Sign me the heck up! 

15. Dream trip: Right now, my dream trip is going to New York to see Hadestown perform on Broadway--fingers crossed!

16. Favorite food: In general: breakfast food.  More specifically: pancakes. 

17. Play any instruments: I’m an amateur piano and ukulele player!  (I like the term amateur not becuase I don’t want to talk up my skills because music is really something I do just because I love it!) 

18. Languages: In order of fluency: English, French, and Italian.  

19. Favorite songs: There are wayyyy too many songs I love--specifically from musicals--but I DO have a favorite non-musical album, and that is Blind Pilot’s 3 Rounds and a Sound.  It gets me into the ultimate ready-to-complete-a-sewing-project, zen mode.  

20. Random Fact: I have a small, red panda plushie, whom I got soon after successfully reading Les Mis.  I decided to name them Jean--initially after Jean Prouvaire, because I was ecstatic about popular nonbinary depictions of them--but my mom insisted Jean must be for Jean Valjean (probably because that’s the only character she knew).  But she must have known my heart better than I did back then, because now Jean Valjean’s place as my favorite character is so cemented in place and I cannot imagine ever being reticent to naming a stuffed animal after him. 

21: Describe yourself as aesthetic things: Chamomile tea, banana-nutella crêpes, and cosmos (both the flowers and the stellar body).  

I tag: @heeho, @coco-chip, @yuissamidare, @hurrchan, @marshthebogwitch, @thegrandmarsh, @raffaelllllo, @josephzeppeli, @munchllax, @it-started-to-rain if you’d like! C: And honestly, I want to spread the love as much as possible, so if anyone else wants to answer these, you can totally say I tagged you! <3

#i know when i saw this post i was already imagining my own answers so i was soooo happy when i saw i was tagged :D #this gave me the perfect reprieve after finishing my homework for the night <3 #and now i sleep #thanks again!!! <3 <3 <3 #bunny babbles #about me #long post