#If I was capable of true feelings I'd sob

[violent138]

Shhh ignore them I literally have my notifs on for you so that I can see your gabillion posts in case some don’t show up on my dashboard.

While this is incredibly nice and I'm more touched than I can express without becoming a puddle, it has come to my attention that I still don't know what's a joke/sarcasm versus a legitimate annoyed comment 💀🤡

#Tysm though #If I was capable of true feelings I'd sob #Not even an ask just the kindest fucking thing ever #My poor mutual bittersweetstargazer #I'm so sorry lmao #asks answered #Personal #About me #Let this be a warning to all lmao

[detectivemaker]

Angsty mind control story, or Crowley snake's tattoo takes matters into its own,  non-existent hands

I really am surprised by the lack of  mind control stories in the good Omens  fandom, give me more specific Crowley doing some mind f****** on our favorite chunky angel, so I've decided to write this story

It's day 88 of operation make heaven nice again, and Aziraphale is bored out of his mind

The only real success he's had so far is implementing walls for privacy, but other than that Heavens the same old s*** bureaucracy it always has been, he knows it now it's never been nice, maybe during the time before the great fall,  but the only demon he's acquainted enough with to try  getting back into heaven is absolutely against it

He  let's out a sigh and face plants into his desk  tears prick at his eyes and soon he silently sobs into his paperwork," oh Crowley, I'm such a fool"  he whispers

*if you were here now, I'd go anywhere you take me* he thinks to himself  but before he can start on another set of whimpering cries he feels something wrap around the essence of his true form, the slight feel of scales upon Halo sends him sitting up with a gasp

"w- what" he  stutters out then it's out a grunt when the scales tighten in a loop, to get deep breath he Miracles into existence is Halo and a mirror

His eyes  widen in Surprise when he sees the  ink colored snake rapping gingerly around his Halo,  raising a hand he presses it into the surprisingly scaly flesh of the pitch black serpent

" Crowley?" questions, but no this isn't Crowley, but part of him yes, but not the real him

This sad realization only affects him for a moment before it's cleansed from his mind like water cleanses dirt,   panics at the sun realization that he's no longer feeling sad,   he grasps at his Halo but before he can try to wrench the snake from it a voice rings in his head like Unholy church bells

" don't struggle little angel,  my master misses you greatly,  I'm just here to bring you back home,  now be a good little lamb and let me lead you" the voice that sounds so much like Crowley's since his hands to his lap and a dizzy smile begins to etch itself on his lips

yes that's right, he's been such a foolish lamb,   he has Mosey far from home, but this lovely serpent knows the way back, so he rises to his feet and his leg like the good little sheep he is

,,,

Crowley had been drinking himself blind for exactly 88 days, but still he is capable to see and he sees he is without an angel,   the salty tears spilling into his cup of whiskey make it taste bitter

" emm, Mr Crowle"  Muriel says interrupting the demon's second hour of day drinking this morning, the demons shaded eyes bore into her celestial form but a quickly directed to the person next to her

"an-Aziraphale, what are you... What are you wearing?"  he says slipping down his sunglasses to get a better look at the ugly dressed angel

" don't you like it, I put it on for you" the angel says voice dreamy and eyes hazy,  the angel Santos over and the Bells on his neck jingles as his sheep like tail wags in excitement as he presses a kiss and his lingerie junk on to the demon 

" angel!" Crowley sputters out  he's just about to hesitantly kiss the angel back when a chuckling hiss catches his ear

He looks up to see his tattoo wrapped Vine like around Aziraphale's Halo  and he Sighs in annoyance

"Get off him and get back on here" he orders and snakes slithers from  it's holy perch back to its usual place on the side of his head, the angel blinks and his eyes come back into Focus

" I really am sorry for that, you"  he pauses pushing up his sunglasses to Shield the tears from the Angels vision before continuing," you can go if you want"

" well" a pause from the angel it's only then that Crowley realizes his hands are stained with liquid gold," I don't think heaven would invite me back in after what I did"

"did you?" Crowley asks a mixture of amusement and horror lining his tone he lets out a laugh when Aziraphale  nods sheepishly

" God you're wonderful angel" his   Chuckles pulling the blonde into a hug and sighing into the man's neck as he returns it

" it's good to have you back"

" it's good to be back"

The end

#good omens #ineffable husbands #mind control #ligerie #crowley #aziraphale #muriel #crowley's snake tattoo

[everyoneshushplease]

It's funny how much my family gaslit me about my own struggles. Some examples:

1.) As a child I was shunned by the other kids. I was too blunt and talked too much and just wasn't good at socializing at all. I know I came across as rude and weird.

I was all alone and couldn't tell why, and instead of supporting me, my parents told me I was crazy. That they could tell somehow that my classmates loved me, so I should stop making up problems in my own head.

2.) I started failing in school almost as soon as grades started to matter, but my schools made sure I always got passed along to the next grade regardless of if I was actually capable of doing the work.

When I got to an age where teachers stopped being so willing to do that, my parents were shocked I was failing. They swore I NEVER had any problems in school before because I hadn't technically failed before.

3.) Constant meltdowns. Whenever plans changed significantly or I got overwhelmed, I would literally sob my eyes out and nothing could console me (or yell at people and then cry).

Without fail, from the ripe old age of fucking FIVE, nobody ever believed my feelings. I was accused of trying to manipulate my parents and faking my tears consistently so I was just sobbing and being yelled at to stop the "crocodile tears" the whole time I was melting down and couldn't stop it.

4.) Not being able to take care of myself. I couldn't brush my hair and teeth, shower, or change my clothes consistently. When I was young my family would do it for me or help me through it, but as I started getting older, they expected me to do it myself like normal kids.

Except I couldn't do it myself, so I'd just end up with matted hair and week old jeans and nobody would do anything about it except scold me for being lazy, only to magically forget about it as soon as I try to bring up my hygiene struggles as evidence of something being seriously wrong with me.

My family wanted a normal child, so they pretended I was normal, even when I was outcasted, failing in school completely, having constant meltdowns, unable to take care of myself, and begging them for help. They'd just gaslight me and pretend it wasn't true because that was easier for them than thinking I might not be normal, and it still hurts so much.

#autism #actually autistic #ableism #gaslighting

[lovejustforaday]

2023 Year End List - #18

18. The Land Is Inhospitable And So Are We - Mitski

Main genres: Indie Folk

A decent sampling of: Slowcore, Alternative Country, Chamber Pop, Countrypolitan

Gonna admit something that could get me crucified in some spaces of the internet - Mitski is not my #1 contemporary "sad girl" in indie rock/pop, and I've never really 100% bought the hype.

She's definitely talented, and arguably the most likable, down-to-earth indie musician that has reached her level of fame. But Puberty 2 through Be The Cowboy and Laurel Hell, I've only ever found about two tracks on each of these records that I'd wanna revisit regularly (Haven't touched the fan favourite Bury Me At Makeout Creek or those first two records yet, so I could be totally missing out on her best material).

You see, "Your Best American Girl" and "Nobody" are excellent singles that have always deserved the hype they received, but then her records as a whole have generally been full of these songs that I would describe as "under-cooked" and sometimes too short for their own good.

This time around, however, I'm happy to express that I genuinely really enjoyed her latest LP The Land Is Inhospitable And So Are We. Mitski's greatest qualities as a songwriter shine much brighter here than on recent past projects. Stripping everything down to intimate, slow-moving folk-country balladry plays to her greatest strengths - the way in which Mitski carries her melodies so delicately, like a broken bird when singing, and how clearly gifted she is at writing those melodies.

The display of painfully universal human emotions also permeates this record as much as any other Mitski project, but this time I feel that her songs are given more room to breathe, which allows the emotional gut punches to hit much harder.

This is most evident on the record's finest moment, a song called "Heaven" which, like all of the best Mitski tracks, is mostly about the shameless longing for the love of another human being, this time set to the tune of arcadian, countrypolitan-style string arrangements that flourish over a wistful promenade of reflections on her unbridled devotion towards a lover that is all too absent. This is the sound of her signature artistic style aging into a fine, full-bodied wine that I could very easily get drunk off of (and then, in true Mitski fashion, start sobbing uncontrollably).

There's also the thundering bittersweet triumph of "When Memories Snow", wherein Mitski expresses the desire to wipe clean all the traumas of the past, while achieving a sound that is close, familiar, and personal, yet also somehow larger than life as any 60s brill building production. That bold country orchestra is every bit as awakening to the senses as dunking your head in a bucket of ice water, and I also just need to take a minute to acknowledge the deeply satisfying chord progressions that manage to really seal the deal on making this track feel truly massive.

I also really appreciate the closer "I Love Me After You", an epilogue that gently sways and disappears into a hushed, forested midnight of bassy piano chords, low crashing cymbals, and sleepy guitar drones.

If you weren't fully sold on Mitski before in the same way that I wasn't, then this could very well be the record that gets you hooked. The Land Is Inhospitable And So Are We plays to all of her strengths as an artist, and it really shows Mitski coming into her own as a seasoned musician who's capable of adapting to new sounds.

I'm still not convinced she couldn't make an even better record in the future if she continues in this direction as a songwriter. It's a bit slow to start, and the B-side heavily dominates the album, but this is her first record that I will be putting in my regular rotation, and a big highlight of the year for the Mitski diehards and longtime skeptics alike. So kudos to the millennial queen of sad girl indie.

8/10

Highlights: "Heaven", "When Memories Snow", "I Love Me After You", "My Love Mine All Mine"

#album review #music review #list #aoty #year end list #indie folk #folk #mitski #the land is inhospitable and so are we #2023

[the-gayest-show]

“The End” (2-21) (8:30-9:00 p.m. EST) A flood of lost memories forces Scratch to make big decisions about his afterlife."

Oh BOOOOIIIIIII

the absolute mind boggling face i made when i saw this synopsis i can't describe the feeling i felt seeing that.

like DUDE. this is LORE CENTRAL. this is literally scratch getting lots of memories back, likely (im 99% sure) by way of some trigger that brings it back...

a bunch of theories my brain brained:

Jinx will gaslight gatekeep and girlboss her way using this situation as a crutch. Bro is obviously gonna see scratch (defo stressed/retraumatized/confused) in this state of Knowing More and somehow twist her words in such a way that scratch gives up the chairman cloak. For the pathetic ass mf she is I believe she's HIGHLY capable of spinning some words.

Scratch gets his memories back because Jinx accidentally triggers it. Whether they're led into some place of familiarity or whatever, something somewhere happens. And BOOM. (Note: The showrunners have said iirc that we;ll see how he died, aka i believe this trigger might be something so deeply related to his past life, like a grave or a house. Maybe it's Ollie's house. We haven't seen the inside of that fucker, ever. Maybe something in there will fuck with his brain and it'll do a thing. I mean there's a chance this was either Adia's house or even where Scratch lived

The decision Scratch makes is probably whether he should essentially live in the past (assuming by all means that adia isnt dead) and whether to live with the mcgees. I think this would close off his arc of his past and also reiterate the bond between him and the mcgees. It makes sense plot wise, i mean bro's been living in being unsure of his past before he met molly and drank the soda. But now he Knows All. What does he do? Maybe his first instinct is to be attached to Adia (again, if that mf aint dead) because she could tell him everything. If we find out more about her (which is a given if scratch gets a big memory burst) then he might attach himself to adia as a coping mechanism. Maybe molly has an argument or something to scratch about this and then suddenly they split up (picture what happened in the dance with some-ollie episode). This makes it infinitely harder to fight Jinx (no chairman? what's a human gonna do now?). Maybe Molly summons everyone but scratch bc they're in an argument about this. Including the Chens, because in everyone's opinion they're SUPER last resort. They (to molly and the friend group) seem like the people to not only defeat jinx but capture innocent ghosts too, so ofc this is the most drastic "we're losing time and we're out of resources fr fr" situation

I bet we'll find out a bit about his home life, lots of stuff/other theories ive seen imply his life may have been... prety bad. I do believe in that. As well, we'll probably get confirmation of whether the "scratch is todd's wraith" theory holds up. I doubt it's true but I'd like to see it myself. Same goes with the "adia is jinx" theory.

Scratch corrupts theory seems to be more true and more truer the more we go farther in the series I'm going to sob if that happens

ANYwho im so excited!

#tgamm #posts #asks #im going to set up the most ideal watching area so I can cry to myself as i watch the most lore heavy episode take place #(i spent yesterday typing this up like a maniac)

[dexpairs-blog]

"Don't go"

Pairing: Yuumi Black (oc) x Riddle Rosehearts, Yuumi Black x Curtis.

Characters: Riddle Rosehearts (twisted wonderland), Yuumi Black (original character), Curtis (Pokémon Black and White 2), N (Pokémon Black and White),

Genre: angst

Warnings: this night suck because it's my very first attempt at angst!! Also, it's HEAVILY inspired by @trappolaces piece so go check them out!! It's also inspired by the song "ikanaide".

Notes: i'm writing this at 3:30 am and now it's 4:50 am JAJAHAHAJAGAKAG SUFFER

Also this takes place AFTER ch.7 so major spoilers for my au (i'm aware that it's not out yet BUT i have stuff planned k?)

I couldn't help but to tell you I'd be alright When, to be true,

"We need to break up."

Yuumi could not believe what their boyfriend just said,

"W-why? What did i do?" The trainer asked in confusion, Zoroark, one of their beloved Pokémon who he had the pleasure to see grow, also raised her head in confusion.

"You've done nothing but being a distraction over the past year, i cannot let this continue any further. You're a dead weight on my role as a dorm leader, Yuumi." The red head simply replied, not even sparing them a glance he turned his heels around and left, leaving both the ravenette and the illusion Pokémon speechless.

The only sound in the heartslabyul hallway being Riddle's heels echoing in the distance.

it was tearing me apart inside but it didn't matter since you're walking away so swiftly in front of me and your figure is the only thing I see

Weeks had passed since their break up, Yuu hasnt been going out of Ramshackle dorm ever since.

"Why?", "What did i do wrong?" And "it's all my fault", were phrases that repeated themselves constantly in their mind. No matter how much they tried to shake off those thoughts, they would just appear again and again.

The only moments of relief being granted by Serperior's comforting "embrace", as much as a Snake pokemon is capable of hugging that is.

However, Yuumi did not care, they nuzzled closer to their beloved partner and tackled her in a bone crushing hug as they cried their heart out.

Plane has arrived, now is the time you're going away again as I try to run, it seems like the ground is slipping from underneath me

"W-what!? You're leaving twisted wonderland!?"

"Yes Ace, i found a way home." Yuumi said in a bittersweet tone, they turned to Ace and Deuce and smiled sadly at them,

"I'm leaving in a week, i wish could stay longer but i have a lot of things to do back in Unova." The ravenette added as Serperior nuzzled her cheek on theirs.

I shouldn't cry, I shouldn't cry

"What!? You're not even gonna say goodbye!?" Ace said in shock, he could'nt believe what his dorm leader just admitted.

"Yes, Trappola. You heard that correct." Riddle simply stated,

"now go and do your tasks for the unbirthday party or it'll be off with your head!"

But I can't seem to hold it in

As soon as Ace left Riddle fell to the floor,

Was Yuumi really leaving...? The one he loved him for who he was, with all of his strenghts and flaws, the one who made him feel so... Loved, was leaving this world?

"Oh, please don't leave me"

The week passed rather quick, too quick for everyone's liking.

Yuumi was currently at the gates, Arceus, a Pokémon deity who created the universe waited for them on the other side ready to take them back to where they belong.

All of the friends Yuumi made along their crazy journey at NRC gathered around them, each of them sad seeing their dear friend leave.

"Tsunotaro, please take care of Grim for me" they smiled at their fae friend,

"Of course child of man" he replied.

"A-are you sure you won't be coming back?" Kalim asked between sobs,

"Not anytime soon, i have a lot of things to do." Yuumi said hugging the boy closer to them causing him to cry even louder.

Your silhouette is fading away

After saying goodbye to everyone Yuumi started approaching the deity at the other side of the gate,

Arceus took his human child with him and after that disappears as fast as he came, leaving the crowd of students in a broken silence.

too quickly for me to bear just as the wind, you blow by again, and suddenly you're not there

"So they really left huh...?" Floyd said putting his arms behind his back.

Slowly the students started making their way back to their classes with a feeling of emptiness inside.

All but one that was hiding behind the colums,

Riddle.

I shouldn't cry, I shouldn't cry

He felt horrible.

He sent the person who loved him more than anything away, and now they won't ever come back.

It was all his fault.

But I can't seem to hold it in

Tears streamed down his rosy cheeks,

Between his sobs and hiccups he mutters

"Oh, please don't leave me"

...

It's been a month since their departure, everyone seemed to have moved on to an extent.

Of course they missed their friend dearly, but they had a life to get back to.

Riddle however, he started spending more and more time in the hall of mirrors.

Perhaphs in hopes they'll come back to him, or he finally manages to apologize.

Either way would make him happy.

When the fun is over it' ll always seem to end the same, though I know it's coming, i can never seem to stop the pain, in this very moment, you look even more amazing and I can't avoid your gaze

Once again, I can see

Suddenly the mirror started lighting up the room.

As Riddle got closer he could see his ex-lovers reflection.

He assumed they were just coming back from the last gym, he remembers how they often mentioned that they wanted to complete their journey once back in Unova.

nothing but your face

Another moment flashed before him, It was Yuumi battling a green haired man with a Pokémon similar to Zekrom, but in white and much softer features.

"He must be N" he muttered, remembering the description Yuumi gave him.

Time's ticking by, no matter how I try

At the end of the battle, Yuumi ended up being victorious.

Then another man came in, he also challenged them to a battle, which he lost of course.

I'm struggling to keep up, night's taken hold as I'm walking home iwonder if I'll be okay alone

The green haired man he assumed was N was now leaving on the white beast's back claiming he wanted to see the world for himself.

Lights on the street glow at my feet my shadow is all I've got to keep me company

After that another scene emerged,

Yuumi finally became the champion of Unova.

Their biggest dream finally achieved, the red haired young man could'nt help but feel a wave of pride in seeing this moment happen.

Your silhouette is fading away too quickly for me to bear just as the dark, it tears me apart, my surroundings blur once again

The next moment was what shattered his heart completely.

They were on a ferriswheel, smiling, at a gentle looking boy with a mole on his chin.

"The Unova region sure is pretty, isn't it?"

He smiled at them, Yuumi smiling back and nodding at him in agreement,

"But it's not the only thing that's pretty around here." He blurted out making Yuumi shily blush.

"No..."

"No...!"

"No, no, no, no!!" Riddle cried.

I shouldn't cry, I shouldn't cry

"Please, come back!!" he sobbed as the two trainers in front of him got closer and closer.

But I can't seem to hold it in,

Oh, please don't leave me

Riddle felt powerless as he watched the two's faces meet in a sweet kiss.

"That should have been me...!" He yelled at the reflection.

I shouldn't cry, I shouldn't cry

But I can't seem to hold it in

"Oh, please don't leave me".

#Spotify #ocyuumi #pokemon oc #twst riddle #twst x oc #riddle x yuumi #twst x pokemon #twst angst #pokemon crossover #twst x reader #riddle rosehearts

[autistic-duck]

Growing Up Undiagnosed

TW: mentions suicide, ABA therapy, bullying, and self-harm

To any autistics with similar experiences, please tread with caution. I wrote this in the midst of a meltdown.

I won't say whether growing up undiagnosed is good or bad. I have no idea what my life would have been like if I'd been diagnosed sooner. Maybe I would have been less depressed. Maybe I would have been put through ABA therapy and taught that who I am is wrong. (Maybe I went through something similar in everyday interactions anyways.) Maybe I would have hated myself more. Maybe I would have hated myself less. Maybe somebody could have helped. Maybe people would have taught me that I'll never be more than my disability. Maybe I would have gone farther. Maybe I would have been held back.

The truth is I'll never know, and it's a waste of time for me to guess how I might have turned out if people had seen my symptoms and said, "She's got autism."

Because people didn't see. Nobody saw me; nobody understood. I had no idea what was "wrong" with me, and people assumed things about my actions that just weren't true.

I wasn't trying to get out of anything because I was manipulative or lazy. I was (I am) autistic.

When I quit volleyball camp at age 12, it wasn't because I was giving up. I was just tired of being screamed at. I was tired of feeling lost and alone. Coaches tried to help me. They let me practice by myself when I was the only one not capable of serving a ball. (I never learned to do it, yet I tried so hard.) The coaches didn't understand that I couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't breathe with thirty girls shouting at each other and volleyballs flying all around. I was constantly terrified of getting hit in the head because I couldn't keep up with everything around me.

A ball hit me in the head one day and my glasses flew off and scratched my nose. And all I could think when looking at my glasses was, "I don't know what to do." The coaches told me what to do, and I did it.

When I'm alone with nobody who understands me, they get mad at me for not understanding. In those moments, I freeze. I cry. I shut down. In those moments, someone could easily push me over and I would curl up and stay down. They could kick me and I wouldn't move. In those moments, anything could happen and I'd have no way of stopping it.

And that's why I'm scared of going outside. And that's why I'm scared of tall men and teenagers. And that's why I'm scared of going to college, and getting a job, and being a human. Being a human means I might get killed (because I freeze. I cry. I shut down.) and in those moments I could die. In those moments I'm completely vulnerable, and I've been hurt in those moments. I've been screamed at. I've been scorned. I've had headphones ripped off my head. I've had people grab my arm so hard it left red marks and bruises. In those moments everyone else has the power. I cannot think, cannot act, cannot protect myself.

When I quit my first job, I did it to protect myself. Working in a deli was a bad idea, and I knew it from the first day. My hands were so sweaty I couldn't put on the disposable gloves, my body shook the entire time, I jumped at every sound, and nothing was clean. The places where food goes are supposed to be clean, but it was so dirty, and seeing that space, touching that space, disgusted me. I felt guilty at my disgust. Here are people trying their best, and I'm judging them for not doing enough. Here are people wanting food, and I am handing them food I'm not sure is safe.

I quit after the first day, and my dad told me it would become a pattern. I quit my second job after three months. I quit my third job at six months. Will I make it through college?

When you forced me to go to school, while I was sobbing and begging to stay in the car, I knew my needs didn't matter. Getting louder meant you would drag me in front of a teacher and force me to explain myself, force me to give stupid excuses. You forced me to humiliate myself.

I knew I was unsafe in those moments, but I went to class because humiliation was not an option. I went to school those days, and I knew if someone shoved me I would let them. I knew if someone held a knife to my throat I wouldn't care, and I wouldn't beg for my life. I wouldn't yell for help when the knife broke skin because it wouldn't make a difference. My pain was inconvenient to you. My pain was stupid and irrational and stealing your precious time. My pain was causing you pain, and I needed to go away. I needed to disappear. I needed to stop being me and start being normal.

And you wonder why I kept things to myself until it was almost too late. You wonder why I spilled blood to train myself, punish myself, into being normal. You wonder why I spent hours researching how to make friends, what is friendship? How do I know if I'm friends with someone? Am I normal? I'm normal, right?

Maybe being undiagnosed was for the best. I can mask like a professional. I can make friends. I'm in college. I've won awards. Maybe being diagnosed would have held me back. Or maybe being diagnosed would have made me feel less alone, less scared, less confused.

I'll never know, and that tortures me. I'll never know if I could have been less broken or if I would be the same. Maybe ABA therapy would have been worse. Maybe I would have learned the hard lessons at an earlier age. Maybe I would have been forced to mask more quickly. Maybe I would be even more broken than I already am.

But I'll never know. Maybe in those terrible moments, someone would have understood me, or at least made an attempt to understand. Maybe I wouldn't have been forced to explain why I was quitting when I didn't have the words to explain my brain. I at least would have had the words, "I'm autistic."

In those moments, I had nothing.

So many maybes and no answers.

Will I be a failure? Was I doomed to fail the moment I was born? Was I destined to succeed? Destiny doesn't exist. Does it exist?

Why didn't you see me? Why don't you see me?

Look at me.

#autism diagnosis #autistic spectrum #autism awareness #autism spectrum disorder #autism #actually autistic #autism acceptance #undiagnosed autistic #late diagnosed autistic

[writemywaytoyourheart]

I need to write this out because I am a MESS right now :’-)

Chip, you’ve got to be one of the MOST underrated authors here because I binged “Aim for the Heart” in three days and I have never cried so much over a literal fanfic before 😭😭 it’s just so beautifully crafted and no words can describe the story between MC and Jungkook being two sides of the same coin trying to heal their broken selves from their past and falling in love with each other. THE SYMBOLISM TOO I CANNOT— the flowers, the shoe laces, colour symbolism, drawings— it just ALL came back and nothing was ever put in the story as filler IM SOBBING 💕

The way they both came into each others lives and so deeply and fundamentally changed each other- MC showing Jungkook that it’s okay to love and be weak and that it’s not something to be ashamed of; she gave him a sense of purpose other than solely killing to support his mother. She let him see the good the world is capable of 🥲🥲

On the other side, Jungkook helped her see how beautiful she was this whole time, (the metaphor with the Japanese bowls!!!) and that she’s more than her past (which could also be said for him too I’m still crying 😭) + there is beauty in things that are broken and the way he just loves her is so AUGHHHH 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️ if that’s isn’t true love then idk what is because I don’t ever want anything other than that

There are also so many parallels between Jungkook and Taehyung and Mina and MC. The situation being that one of them pressured the other to do something they didn’t want to do. I’m MC’s case, she wanted to leave the dirty business behind but ended up hurt and dragged into it against her will. In Jungkook’s situation, it’s flipped, where Taehyung wanted to protect him and instead, became a vicious killer, allowing himself into that role by his decision alone.

As for Mina, lemme just say this 💀

There’s honestly so much more I can say about just how amazing this story is 😭 at first I found it hard to get behind MC’s overall demeanour because she made me cringe a big ngl, but I ended up really loving her and how she is meant to represent a sense of childhood innocence because she allows herself to be comfortable as she is, this expressed through her fashion, room decor, eating habits + love for sweets, and Barbie movies— something which Jungkook struggles with within himself and his mental and physical scars (like when he hates the feeling of water running down his back due to his childhood abuse).

Btw I always wondered at the end whether MC could have just looked back in her photo gallery to see the selfie she took with Jungkook when she had lost her memories tho? Lol 😩

Thank you for bringing this into the world 🥲😌😭 I need to find a happy fic to read now because I’m still SHAKEN.

It took me longer than I wanted it to to answer this ask 😔

Tbh, I feel so comfortable writing for characters and getting certain messages across to readers through their words, but when it comes to me writing stuff that comes directly from me, I always feel lacking.

I never feel satisfied with how I've answered an ask whether it be a response to a small heartfelt greeting from a nonnie or long meaningful paragraphs.

I'm always afraid that someone is going to feel like I didn't answer them with as much love and gratefulness as I'm trying so hard to fill it with, that I'm not genuine. Even when I had so few followers and a single ask every once in a blue moon, I was so so so so excited and grateful every time and I'd read it over and over again before getting the courage to answer it. It still happens to this day lol.

I hope you know how much this ask means to me. Again, it took me far longer than I thought to answer it, but I just couldn't come up with the words to show how much it truly means to me. I still can't.

AFTH has such a special place in my heart, and when people love it, it feels like my heart explodes into a million pieces in the best way possible.

There have been so many many nights and days where I had panic attacks because I realized how I could've made it better with a simple word change, how people will think I dragged it on just to mess with people, how people would think it's cringe or a waste of their time to read. How someone might like it in the beginning and then decide they couldn't care less about the characters and leave. That hurts the most in a way.

I love my characters so so much, it's so comforting to see you love them all even if it took time to warm up to some 💝 but you're right Mina can go take a long walk.

I still feel like it's lacking in so many ways I wish I could go back in time and fix.

But it's asks like this that calm my heart more than anything else can. Even with my thousands of mistakes and regrets, the fact that you could love it so much... It hurts in a good way.

As much as I hate to admit it, I know that it's very connected with how I feel about myself. The fear of failure is so strong whenever I post.

I didn't know for so long why I was so afraid, but i finally admitted it to myself. I trust y'all enough to put a part of my diary here T-T

There are so many authors, hundreds of millions of trillions of books in this world. Why would someone pick up mine? How would it even get seen even if it turned out perfect?

I feel like being an author is like being an artist. Either you make it, or you don't. And a lot of it has nothing to do with skill and everything to do with luck. And yet I doubt I have either of those.

I'm scared to put myself out there, because I'm scared of the confirmation that no one wants me.

This ask though. It helped to push those thoughts back onto the back burner. You understood so much of what I was trying so hard to convey in that story. And it touched you. And that's what I wanted so desperately.

Thank you so much for loving aim for the heart, for even giving it a chance at first. I know it's long. Btw you binged over 1200 pages in three days. That's a big ass book lol so you are impressive I must say 😭 yall are truly a different breed. I finally found my people 😂 the fact that you GOT so many of my little details in there is so AGHHH

Anyway, enough of my blubbering. Again I'm not even satisfied with this. But oh well. As long as you know how much this meant to me and how many times I read this over and over again bc it was such a beautiful and comforting ask.

I hope I can continue to give you works that make you feel like this 💕💕💕

ILY 💖

-chip

p.s. you are right, I'll have to go back and see but I don't think I put in there why she didn't see the pictures, I had intended to but forgot lol, nice catch 😉 let's just say she has a different phone 🤪

#asks #ashbxnny

[ejaydoeshisbest]

I don't want to disturb anyone just because I'm anxious and lonely.

I don't want to disturb my aunties just because I'm anxious and lonely. Though they are caring, compassionate, generous, and kind people, I don’t want to become dependent on them and infect them with my struggles.

I am not their obligation. They have their own families to take care of. Though they say first and foremost that they love me and that I can call them anytime outside of work, I need to give them a break from me.

I also don't want to constantly bother them after all they've done for me. I think specifically of the consultations, the expensive medical expenses, and the treatments they paid for. If it wasn't for them, I'd still be gasping for each breath.

Whenever I do call them, crying, sobbing, or anxious, my eyes take in their faces the familiar expression of humanity and love. But my insecurity and shame tell me that maybe they're good at hiding their true feelings, which is irritation. "He's calling us again, it's your turn to comfort him."

But, no. My heart feels their genuine generosity.

I also don't want to call them daily because it feels like I am disappointing them; that I am still struggling with my breathing and my anxiety and panic even after all those treatments. Stuck in a loop. And they would reply with affirmations and validations. But it must be tiresome for them to always repeat the same comforting, soothing messages over and over again.

Who would not be sick and tired of that? I feel like whenever they see my face and name pop up on their screens, they roll their eyes, take a deep breath, and summon their most empathetic self to bear with me.

I'm scared that they would grow weary of me and abandon me. I'm terrified that they would run out of love for me.

I want to help myself and help others to please them! To assure them that I'm fine and capable again and all their efforts paid off. To not disturb them with video calls. I have to stop calling them and force myself to tackle this now that I am alone, or else, this will be a loop that has ensnared other people into my dour existence.

I have to take proactive steps to heal and improve myself.

I don’t want to disturb them especially when they’re at work. They have their own lives to live, their own spouses and children, and pets to take care of. They have their own problems to deal with, never mind my own. And though they always say (out of politeness or out of love) that they will always be one call away, I could not bear adding my weight to theirs. They may look like they have an endless supply of support, but every person has their limits.

Also, I sometimes think that they did not know fully what they signed up for. I may be too much for them to handle. What they thought of as simple remedies and solutions turned out to be more problematic and complex. I feel guilty because I keep calling them and my cousins and friends to apologize for my rude behavior during my first visit to Australia, but here I am, still being toxic but in another way.

I don’t want them to feel stressed and anxiously waiting if I will call them just because I FEEL panicky. I am like a baby, a duckling that is willingly not breaking away from his shell.

This feels like my decision ko to limit my interactions with an old friend. I'll call him "Ace". Ace and I might be dragging each other down mentally, instead of hyping each other up to become the best versions of ourselves. It got to the point where I felt physically and emotionally drained after hanging out with him. Plus, I couldn't handle his toxicity. We have different demons in our heads, but he seems to resign himself to a life of inactivity and inaction. I don't want to be like him. I want to break free from that. And so I cut off contact with him for now. And I hope he heals soon.

I’m just afraid that my aunties will do the same thing to me. I'm worried that they will lose their patience with me and see me as a toxic presence that they need to wash their hands off.

They have a happy life there, and they have their own issues. They have their own medical conditions. While others would rather suffer in silence, nobly, there’s me, polluting their clean pool. They have a good life there. I don’t want to cause them unneeded stress and anxiety anymore.

If ever I do call, maybe one to three times a week, I want to consciously twist every negative news I have with myself into something positive.

Words: Ejay Diwas Art: taken on Pinterest https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/42291683993607358/

#anxiety #loneliness #love #compassion #understanding #support #australia #video call #mental illness #physcial illness #depression #suffering #nehative #positive #family #lonely

[spacecadetspe]

Dec. 8, 2023

I've put myself through hell this week.

I've put some time and effort into finding myself a house. Not that I'm displeased with my current living arrangements; W has had a flight of fancy due to his father becoming a real estate agent, and together he and I went to look at a few houses with a local agent.

Well, we found an adorable house. I loved it. It needed some fixing up, but that wasn't my biggest problem with it. As much as my agent provided helpful tips and encouragement, I felt rushed almost all the way through the process. She set the closing date on our contract for December 15th. My lease isn't up until August of next year.

She always offered me a way out, but whenever I looked toward the exit, she'd gently steer me away from it. "Don't be afraid." "Don't panic." "You love this house!" And it was true. She hit all the right buttons. And the last thing I wanted was to be afraid of anything ever again. And I can do any terrifying thing if I have someone holding my hand... right?

Well, the last weekend happened. I took W to the hospital. They found exactly nothing wrong with him, and now there's a hospital bill with my name on it. So I took care of him all weekend. And then Fortitude hit his limit and couldn't get out of bed all Sunday. I've also been trying to support a friend of mine who is facing homelessness and is trying to get back on her feet.

And Sunday afternoon, I finally started feeling it. That the whole world was an awful, terrible place, and I couldn't take care of everybody.

The realtor called me on Monday, trying to get me to put down my earnest money for the sale, and I started having flashbacks. I don't have it. If I gave it to her just now, I'd have $24 to my name. And as much as I scrimp and save, I couldn't see myself going back to living off pennies as I tried to care for my family. And I wasn't going to hound my mother for money, even if she was financially capable of supporting me. I'm finally paying for W's tuition and my rent, and living off my own hard work. I'm not willing to ask my mom for money again when she's already done so much for me.

So after I got off the phone with the realtor, I called my mom. I was having flashes of yellow light in my vision; flashes that came with sudden panic and hysteria. I was having flashbacks; feeling trapped, and feeling like I was being led into something I couldn't back out of. And at the time, I couldn't place what my trigger was; only that I needed my mom.

I called her crying, sobbing outside my office. She and my sister talked me down, and then kindly referred me to others in my support group; a cousin who is a real estate broker, and my step-sister who is a real-estate lawyer. They took me out to dinner, where I had a final flashback, and then got tipsy and ate possibly the best ramen of my life and yakked about everything.

And then in the morning, the mortgage lady called me, off the clock (for her; my workday starts early). Generally speaking, I like her. She was incredibly empathetic, and volunteered to call the real estate lady on my behalf; or perhaps call her off. When I told her that I'd spent the weekend taking care of everyone, she asked, "Who's taking care of you?"

That is the problem, isn't it?

If you've never heard of spoon theory, dear reader, it's something I really value in my life. "Spoons" represent the energy you have available to perform pertinent tasks. By a similar token, "fucks" are how much you care about said tasks. But since we live in a household with a kid, it has simply become "spoons and forks." But one day, W asked me a thoughtful question: "So what are knives?"

I had no idea. So I asked Fortitude.

"Knives are your support system," he said. "They're the things that cut tasks into bite sized pieces, whether it's more hands to do the job, or perspective that makes your job easier. Knives are what turns the turkey into turkey sandwiches."

So now I have a whole cutlery set.

Since my financing fell through, I've been able to back out of the contract, much to my realtor's dismay. But as my mom said, it's okay for me to just be comfortable in my own place for now. I'm in a good, safe, pleasant little apartment with everything I really need. And I can enjoy that. I am sad about the house, sure, but I'm not really in any rush, am I?

Gods, I need to go back to Surtr. My chakras are a mess.

#trauma #spicy psychology #parenting

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E5; Chapter Five, The Flea and The Acrobat - [Pt. 4 - FINAL]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘏𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘣 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴 𝘔𝘳. 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

With Dustin in the lead, we found ourselves stopped atop a hill, at what I assume is a scrapyard. Old vehicles like abandoned cars and buses scattered around the area.

Dustin came to a stop and looked around.

"Oh, no." He muttered.

"'Oh, no'? What's, 'Oh, no'?" Lucas asked in a panicked tone.

Dustin turned around to look at us.

"We're headed back home."

"What?" Even Mike seemed to be frustrated.

"Dustin, are you sure?" I ask, irritation and exhaustion creeping up on me.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Setting sun, right there." He pointed past us in the direction of the sky. "We looped right back around."

I sighed, shifting on my feet as I run a hand down my face.

"And you're just realizing this now?" Lucas snapped.

"Why is this all on me?"

"Because you're the compass genius!"

"What do yours say?"

We all checked our compasses, mine was wobbly but nevertheless, pointing North.

Lucas, Mike and I all spoke at once.

"North."

We all sighed, and Dustin began slowly pacing, looking off into the distance deep in thought.

"Makes no damn sense."

"Maybe the gate moved," Mike offered.

"No, I don't think it's the gate." Dustin began looking all around us. "I think it's something else screwing with the compasses."

"Maybe it's something here?"

As Mike spoke, I didn't fail to notice the look that crossed Lucas's face as he slowly turned to face El.

"No, it has to be like a super magnet." Dustin replied.

Lucas rose his hand and began pointing at El accusingly. "It's not a magnet. She's been acting weirder than normal. If she can slam doors with her mind, she can definitely screw up a compass."

El stood rooted in place, a look of guilt and fear in her eyes.

"Why would she do that?" Mike snapped.

"Because she's trying to sabotage our mission. Because she's a traitor!"

As much as I hated to admit it to myself, it was the only logical explanation we had. It could be all too easy for her to screw with our compasses after what she showed herself capable of.

I shook my head, ridding myself of the conclusions my brain wanted to jump to.

"Lucas, come on. Think about what you're saying. Why would-" I rested a gentle hand on Lucas's shoulder to try and calm him down, only for him to rip his arm from my touch.

"Enough, Y/n! I'm so sick of you defending her! You of all people should be more worried for Will."

"I am!" I snapped, feeling the anger, fear and confusion of all I've been carrying the past few days shoot up to the surface unexpectedly.

I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself. "Just... Please. Hear her out."

Lucas never met my eye and only stomped towards the poor girl intimidatingly.

"Lucas, what are you doing?" Mike asked, following behind Lucas worriedly.

"You did it, didn't you? You don't want us to reach the gate. You don't want us to find Will." Lucas was in her face by now, and it as if the poor girl was on the verge of tears.

Dustin and I were toe in toe with the others and I walked up to Lucas, ready in case he decided to something rash.

Mike seemed to have the same idea.

"Lucas, come on, seriously, just leave her alone!"

"Admit it." Lucas spit.

"No." El muttered.

"Admit it!" We all jumped when Lucas began screaming.

He grabbed her right arm and examined her sleeve. There was a streak of shiny dark crimson on her sleeve.

Lucas swatted away her arm in disgust and frustration at the sight.

"Fresh blood. I knew it."

Dustin and I watched speechless as the boys began fighting.

"Lucas, come on!"

"I saw her wiping her nose on the tracks! She was using her powers!"

"Bull! That's old blood. Right, El?"

We all whipped our heads to El, waiting for her response.

At this point, she was fighting back tears, and her breath hitched.

"Right, El?" Mike asked again, less confident.

She began sobbing as she choked out her words.

"It's... not... it's not safe."

My stomach plunged as Dustin and I shared a look of worry and shock.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"What did I tell you? She's been playing us from the beginning!"

Lucas and Mike seemed to be having it out now and they wouldn't stop despite the many protests from either Dustin or I. My body seemed to have shut down, staring helplessly as my two best friends fight, at a complete loss for words from shock and knowing my words will make no difference.

"That's not true. She helped us find Will!"

"Find Will? Find Will? Where is he, then? Huh? I don't see him."

"Yeah, you know what I mean,"

"No, I actually don't. Just think about it, Mike. She could have just told us where the Upside Down was right away, but she didn't. She just made us run around like headless chickens."

With every word my body was feeling more and more on edge, my anxiety set in as I felt uncomfortable in my own skin at my friend's tearing each other apart. I started shifting back and forth, my hands rubbing the back of my neck.

Either Dustin noticed this, or he was sick of the fighting as well - or both for that matter - he stomped towards the boys and intervened.

"All right, calm down!"

"No! She used us, all of us! She helped just enough so she could get what she wants. Food and a bed. She's like a stray dog."

"Screw you, Lucas!"

"No! Screw you, Mike. You're blind... blind because you like that a girl's not grossed out by you. But wake up, man! Wake the hell up! She knows where Will is, and now she's just letting him die in the Upside Down."

"Shut up!"

"For all we know, it's her fault."

"Shut up."

"We're looking for some stupid monster... but did you ever stop to think that maybe she's the monster?"

'I don't want to believe it. I don't want to believe that El is the monster. I don't want my best friend to be missing, I don't want my friends to fight all the time. But at the same time, I can't afford to dismiss the possibility that maybe Lucas had a point. Not about her being a monster. No, that I refuse to believe, but her having something to do with everything that's been going on.'

What came next was a blur.

Mike couldn't take it anymore and lunged at Lucas, the boys toppled to the ground and began wrestling in the dirt. Dustin, El and I screaming at the top of our lungs for them to stop.

I looked to Dustin and El and back at the fighting boys. I ran to them attempting to pry Lucas off of Mike in a panic, knowing there was a big chance I'd get hit. But I didn't care and I couldn't stand by and do nothing.

"Enough! Please, stop! Just-"

I closed my eyes as I saw the blur of Lucas's hand strike me accidentally as he swung his arm back, ready to punch Mike. I felt the back of his fist collide with my nose and I fell back with a painful yelp.

I heard a shrill shriek and opened my eyes in time to see Lucas fly backward in the air about five feet and slide into an abandoned car door, lying unconscious.

I looked to Lucas in horror and ran to him, not caring about my gushing nose.

I dive in front of Lucas, trying to shake him awake.

The boys were right behind me.

"Lucas! Lucas, wake up! Lucas."

Nothing. I checked his head for injuries, my hand never leaving him as I look over my shoulder at El, horrified.

"What did you do?"

El stood rooted to the ground, sobs wracking her body as blood dripped down her nose. I could tell the guilty look in her eyes was genuine but I didn't have time to feel bad for her right now.

Lucas was my main priority. I turned my attention back to my friend.

Dustin and Mike were just as panicked as I was.

"Come on, wake up. Come on!" Dustin yelled.

"Come on, man. Lucas?" Mike muttered worriedly.

"Lucas? Lucas, come on!" I sniffled, weakly shaking him.

To my tremendous relief, Lucas slowly came to with a groan and his eyes fluttered open.

The three of us chuckled and laughed in relief. The weight in my lungs and heart were lifted at the sight

"Lucas." Mike let out in a shaky breath.

Lucas slowly sat up and blinked a few times, processing what just happened.

"Lucas, you okay?" Mike asked.

There was no response from our friend.

Dustin spoke up shakily as he held up three fingers.

"Lucas... Lucas, how many fingers am I holding up? Lucas, how many fingers?"

Mike began reaching forward towards Lucas's head, already one step ahead of me.

"Let me see your head." He offered gently, he was cut short went Lucas angrily shoved Mike's hand away.

"Get off of me!" He grunted, struggling to stand up.

"Lucas, come on, you could be hurt. Let us help." I try, my voice soft reaching for his shoulder.

He pushed my arm away in anger as he stood up, storming past me.

"I said, get off of me!" I detected a hint of fear in his voice this time and less anger, making me more sympathetic than angry at him.

Mike began to chase after him but Dustin and I seem to have the same thought as we both caught each of his arms

"Let him go."

I watched sorrowfully as my friend left without us.

"Man, let him go."

We all shared a somber silence when suddenly Mike spoke up.

"Where is El?"

I looked to where she had been standing previously only to find no one else in sight.

Mike's breathing increased and he began shouting for her.

"El! El!"

"Eleven!" Dustin had joined in.

I stood frozen, my voice failing me. I looked around me as hopelessness sunk in and solidified into guilt. The icy wind whipped my collar as the desperate voices of my friends was lost to the wind.

She was gone.

#you'll float queue #stranger things #will byers x reader #reader insert #will byers #dustin henderson #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #eleven #el hopper #y/n henderson #cosmic #stranger things x reader #st #st 1x05 #1x05 #the flea and the acrobat #x reader #x male reader #x male!reader #x m!reader #m!cosmic

[zutaraplatter]

Avatar: The Last Airbender Critique

There are already a million of posts like this one, and I might be saying things that’ve already been said a million times but I’ve recently become reheated about the ATLA ending and wanted to let it out -_- No one asked, this is true, and this may or may not be a way to stall from this final project I still have to complete, but here’s 10 things I didn't like and/or would change about the show that likely shouldn’t need changing because they should have been done in the first place.

1. Katara should have apologized to Sokka after TSR

It should have happened and it didn't. In my canon-avoiding mind, Katara and Sokka have a heartfelt conversation where she apologizes for the awful things she said, Sokka says he forgives her and he's sorry if he wasn't as there for her as much as he should have been, which he follows up with "but I'm happy you listened to Aang and took his advice," leading into my next point

2. Katara should have said that not killing Yon Rha was her choice

And thats why it was the right one. Not because Aang already said it was wrong. No no. It was the right choice because that's what she chose. I love my mom to death and can't imagine losing her in any way, let alone the way Katara did. And I can't say for sure that if I was in her shoes that I know what I would have done f that yes I do I would have killed that motherfucker. But I also know that if Katara decided not to kill him, then that was one of two correct choices because they were Katara's choices to make. Not Aang's or anyone else's and this should have been clarified. I know it's a kids show but I said what I said. Next point.

3. Katara should have said more after telling Aang she was unsure at the Ember Island Players

Katara hasn't had any trouble saying how she feels, especially when it comes to helping others and making them feel better, whether she was right or wrong. But she holds back or overly softens blows and seems to even shrivel up at times when it comes to Aang. And me no likey. I had a boyfriend who I adored and admired and just genuinely looked up to. I'm also a shy and anxious person who hates confrontation, but because I loved him, I never refrained from telling him when he was wrong. I might have been a little shaky about it but I did it tho because when you want to be with someone you walk through the grass and stomp through the mud. And I personally feel like either in that moment or later on in an added scene that Katara should have voiced to Aang how unheard and disrespected she felt about his words before TSR and his actions on the balcony. I hate being uncomfortable and my secondhand embarrassment is toxic but I would love to see a scene of this. I always imagined Katara saying stuff like "But I'm not you Aang, and I'm not an Air Nomad," or "Zuko could understand why I needed to go, and I'd hoped you would too," or...I'm out of ideas but you get the idea. And you know what, I know I'm a hard Zutara shipper, but them having this conversation would honestly make me respect their relationship a whole lot more should it be believably written to end on a good note (I don't see how it could be but hey I'm an open minded person and I did think they were cute together once upon a time). Basically, all I'm saying is that Katara is no small voice and she should have been written that way when with Aang. Boyfriends can make you shy but should never make you weak. Period. Next point.

4. No rock! ONLY GROWTH!!!!!!!!!!!

I still squint my eyes whenever I remember that rock that unblocked Aang's chakra. What even was that? The laziest writing possible in my opinion. That's what. And Aang deserved better. What should have happened should have been that Aang started to lose to Ozai. And then as Ozai's about to deliver the finishing blow, Aang has flashbacks of everyone he's trying to save and honor, ending with a very prominent flashback of Katara with the guru's disembodied voice reminding Aang to let go of his attachments to become all he needs to be...then BOOM! Baby boy is back on his feet, chakra unblocked, he kicks Ozai's ass, I'm crying hysterically on the floor, as are the rest of us, and he wins. Then at the end of the series, instead of a kiss, he gives Katara an apology. She accepts, everyone else comes to join them on the balcony, cinematic group hug, camera pan into the sun. I don't know lol. Basically what I'm saying is that Aang did not deserve some deus ex machina. He deserved to grow and become his best self like everyone else got to.

5. Aang should have heard differently in The Storm

Katara is a very fate-minded person and this is when I saw potential for her to become a toxic character in regards to Aang. When he admits that he ran away from home 100 years ago, Katara tells him that that was basically a good thing because he was meant to be here and now. Like...no? What Aang did, though understandable for someone so young, was still wrong. Yes he would have maybe been killed but I'm like 10000000% sure they had a plan to protect and evacuate the literal avatar. And what was technically "meant to be" was a new avatar. But hey, what's done is done and kicking Aang while he's down is a no-no in this household. But that doesn't change the fact that Aang needed and deserved honesty. Maybe the fisherman could have said this, I don't know, but I feel like Aang should have been told by someone that although running away was wrong, it's a blessing he and Appa were able to survive and be able to help save the world now with his amazing friends found-family. Maybe this is too harsh, and maybe even outright wrong, but I felt like Aang deserved a truer answer here to support and comfort him.

6. MAILEE!!!!

Do I even need to go into detail?

7. Spiritual sigh*

Don't make me go into detail -_- I will say though that although Aang and Katara are both amazing individuals capable of earth shattering things, they were not a healthy fit for one another. This is evident in the original series and especially in their children from LOK. They both deserved the best but better than one another.

8. ZUTARAAAAAAA

This is a Zutara blog you KNEW this was coming, as it should. There's just too much. There's too damn much. I would give a real paragraph to this too, but, I mean, there's already so much proving that this was the pair. Fics, metas, rants, this site. Scroll through my blog or any of the ATLA related blogs I follow and...dude. These two were meant to be together and I'll mourn the narrative brilliance WASTED for no good reason every day for the rest of my life. No reason these two shouldn't be married with three kids. sob. I will take this part to say thank you to the amazing fic writers that gave Katara, Zuko, Mai, and Aang what they deserved that the writers didn't have the guts to give them themselves. Next point tho.

9. AANG AND ONJI

Good God almighty. Why not this? WHY NOT THIS? I'm putting on my bullet proof vest and I'm going to say this; Aanji is cuter than Zutara. Now before you scorn me or whatever, let me explain. Zutara for me is like steak. No. Chicken parmesan. I like chicken parmesan better. The point though is that Zutara is savory. You know? I don't see them as cute, I see them as Obviously. Aanji on the other hand is like a bag of my favorite candy. They are like a brownie. A cookie. Girl Scout Samoas!...I don't know what words are anymore. This post got way out of hand. I guess what I'm saying is that for Zutara, I scream, but for Aanji, I squeal. I hope that makes sense. But here's the main point I want to make. Onji never knew who Aang really was. And Aang was always, at his core, himself. She very obviously had a crush on Aang for his personality and that was crazy cute and frankly preferable to Katara's "I...guess he is." (you know exactly what I'm talking about) Anyway, I kept wanting more of them together. I wish all the time that we'd gotten to see her again, with a more fleshed out character and all. And in the way that I imagine the show should have gone, she could have been the perfect love interest for Aang, during this episode or way later, even in the comics! Another WASTED opportunity for greatness and I will, again, never recover T-T

10. Iroh get your ass back here

Maybe this is a misguided critique but I hated that Iroh just left Zuko alone in the fire nation at the end of the series. Baby was in trouble in every sense of the word and Iroh was just like "See ya! You got this nephew." I'm expected to believe that? I'm expected to accept that? No no no. He should have at least stayed for a few years to help Zuko stay upright and, you know, alive. And by "upright" I don't mean "good." I just mean been there to support him because Lord knows he needed it, at least in the beginning of his reign. It was cute that Iroh was able to settle down with his own teashop after all those years of violence and mourning and running and this and that. I was more than happy for him for being able to have that peace finally. But I still think it could have waited a little while longer so he could support Zuko.

That's it I guess. I know not everything I've said makes the most sense in one way or another, but I enjoyed putting it together all the same. Thank you for reading and have a great day. I'll go finish my final now.

(Edited for a typo)

#zutara #katara #aang #aanji #avatar the last airbender #uncle iroh #onji #on ji #Im wasting more time with these tags #avatar the last airbender critique #avatar critique #mai #avatar mai #ty lee #avatar ty lee #tylee #avatar tylee #the southern raiders

[chasseuses]

reasons why i love jade leech pt.2

so i guess I'm doing this again.

this is more of a repeat of everything I said in part one but with more sobbing and coherent words.

Jade Leech, Octavinelle's vice dorm leader and the twin brother of Floyd. Many might say that Jade is better than Floyd, although that may seem true to people who don't know him well enough, some people were smart enough to know that Jade was just as bad.

Despite being so fucking shady and nasty, I couldn't help but slowly learn how to love his character. His shadiness is only a part of his charm ❤️ I mean— don't you want that? Don't you just want to look at him and wonder what the fuck is going through his mind right now?

He could be either plotting murder or thinking about tonight's dinner and I would still find his shady expression 🥺 oddly attractive to say the least. I'm being weirdly serious here and typing in lowercase so in a few bullets, expect me to go feral once again.

His eyes are gorgeous. I don't know about you but I get mesmerized everytime I look at them, I swear I could drown in them and never want air ever again. His mismatched eyes,, absolutely beautiful sir please shock my heart eheheh 👉👈 haha jk !!! he doesn't have to use his unique magic to shock my heart bfjfkfjfkfjkffk

His smile is breathtaking, my sun— my light in this dark world of mine. Even if his smile is practiced and insincere, I can't help but go crazy over it. Imagine if he smiled genuinely, no restraints at all as he let out a hearty laugh and a genuine smile took over his expression. I would cry on the spot, I am cryimyfjrkfjkffk.

GOF HELP ME I CAN'T TYPE IN LOWERCASE ANYMORE IM GOING IN CAPSLOCK!!!

I HATE HOW JADE CAN GO FROM HIS USUAL GENTLEMANLY FACE EXPRESSION BUT SUDDENLY SHOOTS YOU A FUCKING SMUG GRIN WHICH SHOWS OFF HIS SHARP TEETH AND SAYS HIS USUAL "Fufu~" LINE LIKE PLEASE 🗿 SHUT THE FUCK UP DON'T SMILE LIKE THAT!!

SPEAKING OF TEETH, MAN I REALLY AM CURIOUS AS TO HOW SHARP THEY ARE. A PART OF ME WANTS TO SHOVE MY HAND INTO HIS MOUTH AND JUST TOUCH THOSE TEETH AND SEE HOW SHARP THEY ARE 🤡 haha imagine if he suddenly bit down tho hahshhhshsdrijfrknfkrgntknffknflfnflffnkfnfkjfkdjfofjddlifjf ok I'll shut up.

I don't think I mentioned it here (i already did) but I am telling you that the idea of someone as composed and reserved as Jade starts pining, IT'S GUARANTEED TO BE SO FUCKING GOOD LIKE 🗿 OH GOD THE THOUGHT OF JADE PINING?? ABSOLUTELY *CHEFS KISS* MAN THAT IS SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE IF YOU SEE ANY PINING JADE PLEASE TAG ME I WILL START CRYIMG

Oh my god. Have I told you how beautiful Jade's lips are? Please please please please look at them they look so nice ahahahha so irresistible and kissable UEEEEEEEEEE

The way his lips are like that 🗿his fucking smile/smirk. GOD GIEV EME THE ABILITY TO KITH THIS MAN JUST ONCE PLEASE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I'M FUCKING CRYING.

Oh my gOD THE WAY HE LOOKS AT MUSHROOMS... THE SOFTEST GAZE... SOMEONE LIKE HE... IS CAPABLE OF HAVING SUCH A SOFT EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE.... PLEASE I WANT TO BE A MUSHROOM IF IT MEANT BEING LOOKED AT BY JADE LIKE THAT.

HE COULD FUCKING SPIT ON ME AND I'D THANK HIM.

I'm ashamed to admit that the earliest reason why I liked Jade Leech was because of his hands. Please forgive me, Lilia-sama. I cannot help but get attracted to such beautiful hands- it was if it was sculpted by the god of sculpting himself! It's such a shame that his gloves cover up its blinding beauty- though my eyes can see through the deceit, I know that his fingers are glorious beneath that piece of cloth. My one and only wish in life is to be able to hold his hand- without the gloves, and that's all for my confession.

^^^^^ I FOUND THAT IN MY DRAFTS

I'M SORRY BUT I JUST REALLY LIKE HIS HANDS OK. LIKE 😳 haha...!! what if we held hands,, without the gloves 😳 haha jk...! unless ...?9£4(_8 UE UE UE UE UE MR. LEECH LET ME HOLD YOUR HAND PLEASE I'M GONNA BEG

UEEEEEEEE I'M NOT FUCKING KIDDING YOU WHEN I SAY I WROTE SO MUCH LETTERS FOR THIS EEL I WISH I WAS KIDDING I HAVE LIKE 12 RIGHT NOW GOD I'M SUCH A FUCKING SIMP

st a rts sobbing

pouting jade.

pouting jade.

pouting jade.

WHAT THE FUCKBSJDJDJJ??£?£(_(3(_((_(£(£+£; WHY IS HE SO CUTE INT HSI SCREENSHOT WHAT THE FUCK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PLEASE THE WAY YOU'RE POUTING RIGHT NOW IS SO CUTE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME SQUEEZE YOU.

I'm fucking crying why the fuck is he so cute gof forbid this man from being so fuvking cute i cannot.

People be telling me: cute?? jade is terrifying.

and I go like: that's cute.

UE UE UE EU UEHFHRJFJJDJF HAVE U GUYS HEARD OF WHAT HE DOES TO PEOPLE HE BETRAY HIM???? I LITERALLY WENT 😳 "ahahahh mr leech i will personally betray you just to make you do that to me" you know. like a simp.

U know what I'm going back to lowercase

His extreme love for mushrooms is probably his comic relief so it doesn't completely make him seem like a shady bitch in the game- it's a surprise as to how cute and vulnerable he can get when he talks about or does something related to his precious fungi. It even goes as far as to make him completely lose his sense of surroundings, which is really rare for someone as observant as him- and usually dangerous sjfbjdbf. It's also EXTREMELY CUTE as to how they made Jade someone who really likes mountains- he even goes as far as to found his own club to appreciate them!!

He has pretty deft hands, being able to create a terrarium and care for it as a hobby is applaudable- not everyone has the ability to do just that, you'd have to be able to be extremely precise and careful, and add a little bit of extreme determination to the mix. He would probably smell like mud from all the time he spends in the greenhouse, and stays up late because of creating terrariums. It shows us that he isn't completely a shitty eel who collects dirt on people as his job and I think that's pretty fucking cute not gonna lie!

There was one voice line of him mentioning that he likes gazing at stars, which was completely unexpected for me! He didn't seem like the type to gaze up at the stars and just- watch! Though I expect him to be always alone whenever he does that- he isn't exactly the most approachable person in NRC, people tend to avoid the Leech twins because of Floyd- mostly. People are just scared of them and I don't think Jade has any friends aside from Azul and Floyd. And I don't think either of them would be willing to stay with him to do just that, Floyd's excuse would be because "it's boring~!" and Azul's would be "I have much more important things to do." And I think that's pretty fucking sad.

God please send me to their world I will watch the stars with him please i love him so much I'm—

BACK TO CAPSLOCK FJDJJEKFJKDJFKRNDKDJFKDFLDJRLFNFLDNFLDFNDLNDLDNFLFOFKDLDKDLDKDK

Look. No amount of words can actually describe my feelings for Jade Leech no words can do my love justice UE UE UE UE which is why I do the second best thing— keysmash.

Please please please I could give him the whole world and it wouldn't do my love for him justice 🗿 UE UE UE UEJFBRKFBTKNFRKFBFKFHJFHFDKHFKDBFKDHFKRBFRKBFRKBRKFBFKFNFKFJFKFJDKFK

I also uh, want him to step on me! Y',)!92+_)£_+ Y'know... He would stomp on my back and dig his heel into my back and probably hurl insults towards me 😳 man. I'd be hIS FUCKING DOORMAT IN A HEARTBEAT.

Omg this is getting long

The first part was much more 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿 but I still do this anyways.

Anyways. Please stan Jade Leech I love him so much 💕

i would've included my brainrot but ppl would just go 🗿 "taku you really are a jade simp huh" and NO I DON'T WANT THATTTTTTTTT

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst meme #disney #octavinelle #admin simps #why i love jade leech #jade leech #twst jade #twisted wonderland jade #jade appreciation post

[straykidsworldwild]

Duskwood

Phil Hawkins x MC

Part 2 (1/2) : MC goes to work and a certain boy comes to meet her for lunch.

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Heyy guys! Here's a piece of part2. It was too long to put the whole thing on Tumblr at once (apparently) so I had to cut it in half 🙈 (2/2) is coming!!

(I just made the collage. Credits go to the creators of Duskwood and the owners of the pics.)

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I slowly wake up, feeling and hearing something buzzing. With my eyes still closed, I slide my hand under the pillow next to mine to grab my phone. I hate waking up by alarms… It feels like I am being cut in my sleep. And I’m not going to lie… I love my sleep just as much as I love food. Who doesn’t? I open my eyes and turn the alarm off before quickly closing them again. I didn't sleep well last night… When I went to bed after texting Phil to tell him I got home fine, I couldn’t stop thinking about the discussion we had at his bar. Was I right to say “yes” for lunch tomorrow noon? Was he being serious? Is he playing a game? Am I falling in his net? I don’t know and I think that’s what terrifies me with him. I just don’t want to be his next hookup… If I start something, it’s for a serious relationship, not to play around. That’s not my thing. But that’s exactly what Phil does so… I guess I should just trust a little more myself. Anyway, that was just the first part of the night, because the next part, all I could do was think about my uncle. Every time I closed my eyes, I just recalled amazing moments with him. Moments that mom, he and I won’t ever have again… I laid on my back, on my sides, on the side… And I did this over and over until managing to fall asleep.

I turn on the lamp on my nightstand when I hear my phone suddenly buzzing again. But I turned it off… Oh! I grab my phone and answer the call after looking at the I.D. caller.

- Hey, mom, how are you? I just woke up… I tell my mother with a still sleepy voice as I sit on the side of my bed. The light is still too much so I close my eyes for a few seconds more. Suddenly, a noise coming from behind the phone call catches my attention. It’s not a noise I am used to hear her make... Mom? I call her with some concern.

- “He's gone…” I hear her simply whispering through the phone as another sound catches my attention again. Sobs… Mom is crying. I’ve heard my mother crying before. It’s so… Strange and heartbreaking. I mean, mom has always been that strong figure, fighting everyone coming in her way or in mine… But she never broke down before me.

- I know, mom. I'm so sorry. But… I begin to respond calmly, keeping the pain to myself. I’ve never heard nor seen my mom crying in my life. She’s all I have as a family and hearing her in such pain… It’s heartbreaking.

- "Can you come over today? I'll need you to finish the preparation of the funeral. I can't do this alone. And..." She interrupts me, sounding overwhelmed and submerged. I lower my head and keep a desperate sigh inside of me. I wish I could already be next to her and tell her to not worry. That she doesn’t have to do anything. That I will take care of this for her. But I can’t because of my dumbass boss… Unbelievable...

- I'd love to, mom, really. But I have to go to work, I begin to say, sounding sad and sorry for not being there for her. I hate it. I feel like I’m betraying my own mother. That I’m not giving her the support she needs right now. And maybe the one that I also need... But she knew uncle Alex for longer than I did so it’s fairer that I should be there for her... But once I'm out, I'll stop by your house to come help you, okay? So I can see you a little bit too, mom. I should finish at 3p.m. today, if my boss doesn't think otherwise, I tell her gently. Though, an unsure point is heard in my voice. We never know with my boss… If he had a bad day, he is capable of giving you two extra hours to do just because he wanted to.

- "You know, your uncle was always there for me. I remember when we were kids…" I frown with sadness to the sound of her voice. It’s broken… She sounds empty. Out of life. "There was this horrible kid terrorizing the youngsters. I was one of those kids being terrorized, but of course, as my big brother, he protected me. He always did. He was really protective, you know?" She recounts me in brief words with a trembling voice. I know the story by heart. Uncle Alex used to tell it to me as a bedtime story. He was the hero of course. I never doubt that… I hear mom sniffling and letting another sob out. "So was he with you, baby. He loved you as his own, you know?", oh… When she said "baby", her voice just completely broke. I could barely hear it. I continue to look down as I feel a lump forming in my throat. I miss Uncle Alex like crazy... "And he did the same when your father left..." She admits to me, going to the topic about how my uncle was protective. Which I already knew as well... It honestly hurts to hear all of this so soon after his tragic death. I still haven’t digested it. It’s still not real to me. I still think I will see him today or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow... But it seems to make mom feel better by saying those words to me, by recounting her memories. So, I'll listen carefully. Or I'll try, at least… If I don't break before too. Her pain is so profound… And shared.

- Mom, you don't have to tell me all of this now. Let some time pass. It's hurting you, I say with a slight pleading tone, hoping she will listen to me. I know it's hard to not think about it or to not want to talk about it. But I just think it's too soon for her. And for me... She can't turn the page in a finger snap. It’s impossible. Even if she feels like she did or she has to do it, it might not be the best way.

- "I love you, MC. You're my baby girl." She says over the phone, sniffling sadly again. I nod even though she doesn't see me. I am staring at the floor, my sight being blurry. Not again...

- I love you so much, mom, I reply to my mother, controlling my voice as much as possible despite the tight ball in my throat. She doesn’t need to know that I’m about to cry too. I hear her sniffling behind the phone call again followed by a new sob. I can't… Look, I have to go, mom, but I'll come see you later today, okay? I'll come with a little surprise, I tell her gently, wanting and feeling the need to cheer her up. I just want my mother to be happy again.

- "A surprise? You know I don't like surprises much, MC.", She replies with a mix between her crying and a faint chuckle before reminding me how she has always hated surprises. I know…

- That's why I'm bringing you one, I answer to my mom, cracking a smile to the sound of her faint chuckle.

- "You're a little Devil, just like your uncle... What's the surprise?" She begins to say before pausing. It's true, I got a little bit of him too. I guess it's because he sort of raised me and because I'm a (l/n) as well.

- Mom, if I tell you there would be no point for me to call it a surprise, wouldn't it? I answer with a gentle and playful tone before giggling. I hear her crying turning into giggles.

- "I tried. Okay, go to work, baby, and... I'll do a few things here... I'll try. Oh, and I ordered the flowers you asked me to pick for your uncle." She responds with another small chuckle before sniffling one more time. I smile a little more, glad to hear that I managed to make her smile a little bit despite the situation. She ordered the flowers… My smile grows a little more, glad about this news.

- Okay, call me if you need me for anything. Doesn't matter if I work or not, okay? I love you, mom, I reply sincerely to my mother, giving her a little cheerful tone.

- "I will. I love you too, baby. See you later.", She says back to me, sounding a little better then when I answered the phone. I smile and wait a few seconds before hanging up. Right… I feel like I have another long day coming… I let a long sigh out, as if I am trying to get rid of a weight on my shoulders, before wiping the tears in my eyes. Well, I've got to get ready...

Almost an hour later, I am on my way to work. Like every day, I see the same streets, the same cars, the same shops, the same streetlights… Of course, I am not going there with an ounce of motivation. I’d rather stay home or go anywhere else, but not there. I’m not saying being a waitress is the worst job, but my boss and some clients are actually really hard to deal with. Anyway…

I rapidly reach the back door of the restaurant I work at and enter the building which leads to the kitchen. The cooks and the waitresses are all here, ready to work. Oh, almost… I hold the door for Angie and she runs in, thanking me at the same time. We exchange a smile and get ready to start working. The clients should start coming soon… It's been three months since my boss decided to expand the restaurant to include a little coffee shop. I think it was a good idea, a good change in Duskwood. It was a test at first to see if people would like it. The clients seemed satisfied so that’s why I am here so early every morning now.

- MC! I look up immediately after hearing a gravelly voice yelling my name. My boss walks briskly towards me, a frown of madness plastered over his face. As usual... What time does my watch indicate? He asks me while showing me his watch on his right wrist. What…?

- 8:01am.? I answer, not sure where this is going.

- You were supposed to be here at 8:00a.m.. Not at 7:59a.m., not at 8:01a.m., but at 8:00a.m.! Is it so hard to understand in your dummy brain? He tells and asks me with madness, actually scolding me for arriving one minute late. As always, he raises his voice while talking, making sure everyone can hear who is commanding here. I guess you see what I meant when I said that I wasn’t very motivated to come to work...

- I'm sorry, boss, I simply say as I don’t want to argue nor lose my job. Well, it’s mainly that I’m not up to an argument right now… I have other things to think about. To worry about.

- Don't. Since you came late, you'll go home late. You're finishing at 6p.m. today, he tells me with a correcting tone, looking down on me. He’s joking, right? 6pm?

- What? You're making me do three extra hours for one minute late? I demand him with disbelief as I’m getting upset.

- And you're not paid for those, he points out seriously, still speaking as loud as before. Not paid?! Better and better...

- Sir, I can’t work extra hours today. I have to go see my mom this afternoon after work. My uncle passed away yesterday and I have to help for the funerals and… I explain to my boss with seriousness, going up against him. I mean, I can be shy and quiet and all, just don’t take me for an idiot or play with me.

- That's not a valuable excuse. Get to work before I change my mind and actually fire you for rebellion, he orders me seriously and sternly. Right… I look down, not responding to not receiving any consequences later. Everyone, back to work! he screams to all of his employees before walking away to do his life. Dick!

- Don't listen to this cold hearted dick, MC, I hear Angie telling me as she comes to stand in front of me. She’s a little taller than me. If you need to leave, then do. I'll cover for you. I knew something wasn't right yesterday but we barely crossed paths so I couldn't ask you what was wrong. I'm really sorry about your uncle, MC, she apologizes sincerely to me as she puts her hand on my shoulder. Angie is one of the only workers I get well along with here. Yeah, nothing goes well in this restaurant… It’s sad because it could have its potential. I smile at my friend while weakly nodding.

- Thanks, Angie, I thank her sincerely as I place my hand on top of hers. She smiles and nods back before the two of us take separated ways to go do our work.

The morning passed pretty quickly to be fair. I prefer when it’s like this. Working and watching the time pass is one of the worst feelings. There were so many clients this morning that I didn’t have time to get bored. It’s actually pretty rare that there are so many people coming in the morning. I mean, it’s still a little buzzy usually but not this much. I hope that will put my boss in a good mood and he’ll kind of forget the late minute thing this morning… Right, even I don’t believe this… I take the plates and cutleries that customers have left to clear the table. I clean it well and let other customers settle in. The noon hour and 1pm are the worst. There is often a line of customers waiting for a table but it goes on pretty well usually. Anyway… It’s time for my break. I put the dirty dish and cutleries in the bassin which is on a cart to later go to the kitchen.

- Hi, I turn around to look at the person who is not so unfamiliar to me, I'm looking for a pretty (h/c) with crazy (e/c) in which you would easily get lost in. Have you seen her around? says and asks me, a man, using a flirtatious and slight playful tone at the same time. I smile and softly laugh while nodding.

- Yeah, I think she went back to the kitchen a little while ago. But I don’t know where she went after, I reply playfully to my friend as I point towards the kitchen. The man softly laughs back before passing his hand in his long hair which isn't in a ponytail or a bun for once. How dare he look so good?

- How are you, Gorgeous? Asks me gently, Phil, as we are facing one another.

- I’m good. I have the same problem as last night, but I’m good. You? I answer with a very faint sigh as I keep a small smile before asking him.

- I'm good, thanks, he responds, having that damn smirk in the corner of his lips. The two of us stare at each other for a little moment, a smile on our face. I can’t really explain why or how, but seeing him here, now, like we said last night, makes me happy. So, is it still on for having lunch together or...? He asks me, a point of nervousness heard in his voice. He isn’t sure of himself which is so rare to see.

- Yes… I begin to tell him before hearing a gravelly voice calling for me.

- MC! I turn around and see my boss approaching us. Oh… No time for talking! Get back to work! He tells me harshly in front of Phil. Oh God… So awkward! I know I have said stories to my friends about my boss, but none of them actually saw the man talking to me that way. And I wish it wouldn’t have been Phil seeing and hearing him talking to me this way. What is he going to think?

- You're seriously letting that dumbass talking to you this way? I hear Phil whispering lowly in my ear. His deep voice echoing in my ear… He sounded like he couldn’t just believe what he just heard. Oh but it’s real, Phil… I live it every day like all the employees here.

- It's almost 1p.m., sir. I'm on my break… I begin to respond to my boss, not forgetting that I actually want to get out of work at 3p.m and not 6p.m. I still have hope… A faint one but, it’s still there.

- Break? He repeats my word with disbelief as he is standing right before my face now. No break for you today. Come on, move! He exclaims, speaking with a mad tone as usual. If I didn’t know him, I would think he actually hate me. Which might be the case… It’s not possible to scream so much on someone without reasons, right? Ugh, is that guy ever happy? Or just calm?

- Hey! I hear Phil’s loud voice coming from behind me before I could say anything to my boss. I slightly widened my eyes in surprise as I didn’t think Phil would say something. She's your employee, not your stooge! You should watch it! He tells him with a warning tone which I’ve never really heard before. The only time I heard him using this tone was when one of his regulars overstepped the line. I look on my left as I see Jessy’s brother standing next to me, slightly getting before me. Oh… He looks so mad.

- And who might you be to talk back to me? Questions, my boss to Phil. Oh no… I glance around us and notice that customers are staring at us, watching the scene. So awkward… Before Phil could do something or say a word, and mostly before it goes too far, I grab discreetly Phil’s wrist. He doesn’t move nor look at me. My boss is still staring at Jessy’s brother. He is not pleased at all...

- Look, sir. She's been working since 8:00a.m., and it's 1p.m. in less than five minutes. You can't take off her lunch break just because you're her boss, it's against the law. But if you think you are above them, maybe we could stop by the police station to see who's right? Responds calmly and politely, Phil, all while still having this warning and serious tone. I’ve always been amazed by how polite he can stay despite the circumstances or the situation. I mean, it’s easy to lose control due to anger, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he fights.

- 30minutes. No more, tells me, my boss, reluctantly giving me a break. Thanks to Phil… I nod positively before he turns around and leaves us at a quick pace. Phil turns around before looking down at me.

- Thanks, but you didn't have to do that, Phil, I thank him with a small shy tone, yet, thankful he actually stepped in for me.

- I did and I wanted to. But honestly, that guy deserved more than just a "talk", he replies with sincerity and seriousness. While talking about my boss, I could hear the madness in his voice. I nod understandingly as I give him a small smile, appreciating it for standing up for me. It’s not every day it happens. Come on, he suddenly tells me with his infectious smile. I don't answer. Instead, my smile grows wider while the two of us walk through the restaurant to reach the outside. Oh, he has a bag! How did I not see it?

#duskwood app #duskwood phil #duskwood game #duskwood mc #duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood jessy #multifandom #phil x mc #phil hawkins #iamjake #phil duskwood

[transsexualhamlet]

sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him

using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful

no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF

Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things

Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones

But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍

Some highlights I thought were very funny:

watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem

sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!

watson: visible pain

This clearly happens like every day or so with them

but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay

have you considered tho. have you considered them

have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them

They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.

Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife

Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME

They're... they certainly are.

ALSO OH MY GOD.

THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"

BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW

BRB SOBBING

CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER

The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married

Its so fucking funny.......

I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh

watson: I'm engaged!

sherlock: *pained groaning*

watson: do you... not like her?

sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.

watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me

sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*

watson: *in fucking agony*

sherlock: good for you!

I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT

ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S

I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main

The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.

And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.

I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?

I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy

But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem

Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly

Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER

cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.

Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny

Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.

LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH

SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS

Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like

Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!

watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you

Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT

watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days

sherlock: makes a deduction

watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!

sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol

watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait

watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!

sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.

watson: alright :)))))

AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS

So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is

And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?

LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.

HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???

AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK

Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible

sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked

and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS

the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her

and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED

and the dude just LEAVES

After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations

Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today

Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON

Watson: ITS FIVE PM

and:

Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE

Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU

Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats

Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.

Sherlock, exasperated: yes!

I love them your honor.

#rowan's hyperfixation essays #rowan screams into the void #rowan views moriarty #sherlock holmes

[tarlos-spain]

Februwhump Day 27 - Shower Breakdown

Title: Hidden scars

Fandom: 9-1-1 Lone Star

Characters: Carlos Reyes, TK Strand

Pairing: Carlos Reyes, TK Strand

Chapter 6

Carlos sat with his back against the bathroom door. He took several deep breaths and stared at the wall in front of him.

He hoped he hadn't ruined everything by being too honest with TK. But he had decided that he liked him too much to hide his true feelings, the ones he had taken time to hide and the ones that seeing the fireman again had awakened in him.

"TK, I just want you to know I'm here. If you want me to leave, just say so...or don't say it, because I feel really stupid talking to myself."

He let a moment pass, the silence was uncomfortable and made him count the seconds, the minutes he was willing to wait until he was sure TK wanted nothing to do with him.

He'd screwed up, was the only way to put it. He'd screwed up and lost any chance of having anything more with the fireman.

"I know I shouldn't have said certain things. I got carried away and I don't know if there's any way I can apologize to you." He sighed. "Either way, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you about Danny like that...I shouldn't have told you about him, not so soon. I understand you don't want anything more to do with me...not today. I'll leave you. okay?"

He let a few seconds pass before he stood up.

TK didn't say anything.

"You know where I am, Ty."

As soon as he stood, as if TK had seen him from the other side of the door, he heard his voice in a whisper.

"Don't go, please."

"TK?"

"Don't go...don't go because you feel bad. It's not your fault...if I'm here it's my fault."

"I thought that..."

"I'm not thirteen. I understand you've had a love story in your life and I...I won't be the same...if I can be anything to you."

Carlos smiled.

"We can be anything we want. We've met twice and now I'm here. I think we're getting to know each other, aren't we?"

"You really want to get to know me? I'd understand if you don't want to make that effort after all you've been through and what you've lost."

Carlos turned around and rested his hand on the bathroom door. He could almost imagine he could feel TK's skin on the other side.

"I'm not one of those assholes who have allowed themselves to let you down. I won't be perfect and I'm afraid of a lot of things, but if you open that door, I'll be here...or we can keep talking through the door, but if you're hungry or thirsty I can't bring you anything."

Again a few seconds of silence.

"I'm hungry."

Carlos smiled at TK's comment.

"Didn't you say you had made some sandwiches?"

"Yes."

"I'd love to eat with you then." Carlos waited once more. "And if you want I can make a smoothie, I have a personal recipe."

"What have I done to deserve you?"

TK had curled himself into a ball stuck to the bathroom door as soon as he'd closed it. This way, if Carlos tried to get in, he wouldn't be able to. He buried his head between his legs and sobbed, but he wasn't even sure why.

He was nervous about the idea that Carlos had told him about his late boyfriend to see how would react or maybe it was to scare him or to make it clear to him how things stood and what he was capable of offering him.

It was too many possibilities and TK was terrified to think what he was not.

Keep reading on AO3

#9 1 1 lone star #tarlos #Hurt TK #Old scars #Protective Carlos #AU #911 Carlos #Shower breakdown