#IVE PLAYED THE WHOLE THING TWICE AND IVE STILL MISSED STUFF | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

icharchivist · 10 months

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gosh, mentioning your friend who got bowled over by act 2 autumn must’ve been foreshadowing, because I, who foolishly was like, oh I don’t think I’ll relate to azami that much he’s very different from me but it’ll be fun to see autumn, cried twice while going thru the back half of this story. jeez. I’ll may have to be a bit less chronological than usual for the sake of keeping all of that stuff later.

zombie run night was rly great! more like zombie fun night amirite. I’m sorry I make bad jokes. banri getting azami to be a zombie as well was so nice like. again he’s being a good leader.

tenma being scared of zombies makes sense obviously. I’m with him. not zombies but when I was staying with a relative a while back I found a lizard the length of my hand in the bathroom and then refused to use that bathroom for the rest of my stay.

I really liked the eyeball necklace detail—it made the event feel real and also considerate? the moment yuki just went … at tenma I Knew he had planted the necklace on him tho. he’s so funny for that. seeing that and being like yeah tenma you’re so right. you don’t need to participate. cant believe mankai didn’t recognize banri when he caught them. azami must have some stellar makeup skills

azami going after sakyo and haunting him abt his budget lifestyle was sooo funny. like I was bracing for something slightly charged to happen but it was just funny. and he had a good time!! I’m glad. I liked that banri was like. still encouraging to azami even tho his acting motives aren’t the purest lol. I mean to be fair he has no room to talk there but it’s also just nice to like. meet him where he’s at. like we see azami doesn’t really get The Feeling until closing night but. things take time.

azami and omis whole thing was. so good. like the way he won’t even like accept a bandaid is so. azami… I loved the way they resolved it? first seeing omi juza and tsuzuru talking in uni was cool. but then kumon approaching azami was like. so nice. again the way that they like talk and kumon’s like I miss summer! and u can Hear the smile in azamis voice when he’s like come on summer literally just ended!

but him being awkward around omi bc he’s not sure what a mother should be like… gosh. like the way he describes the whole thing as like. strange and confusing I’m going to vote the wall like. like yeah actually that’s exactly how it feels when someone is kind to you in a way you haven’t yet experienced it makes you want to throw it off immediately bc it’s like whoa whoa hold on. I’m not allowed this kind of thing. anyways just. no wonder he likes kumon so much that guy is like, effusive in his praise and azami probably likes having ppl around who are Nice like that. loved omis portrait. it was so good. and it like. absolutely sucks that he had to grow up that quick. very nice to see nachi again, though. but when kid-omi was like: one day in the future. I’ll take a break for myself :) omi. omi I’m shaking you. have you ever really done that. well ig now that he’s living in mankai he’s letting his family take care of housework and stuff? but like, still.

minor note but when they’re doing a street act it was rly cool to see juza just like seamlessly and confidently advertise the play. he’s come so far…

*cracks knuckles* alright all of that was warmup now it’s time for the BIG STUFF. azami almost got hit by a car!!!! the cg there was like. So Good. like the way sakyo is absolutely Frazzled… yeah. like god I keep thinking abt that cg. its sooo. wow!! i dont think ive seen sakyo look so distressed!!! hes not wearing glasses bc he was so shocked that he ended up breaking his glasses in the rush to get there!! its like. azami look... u have a dad that wishes for your every happiness... and azami is just Sitting There mostly unharmed and looking a little confused like huh… why’s sakyo looking so out of sorts… it’s wonderful. and the way sakyo is like even if it was just a scrape I need to find who did this and hurt them. like godddd and the way he’s like “so I don’t even have the right to worry about you anymore?” I am. Going to cry.

what rly got me tho was like the whole jin-gi-oh cards though bc like first off sakyo remembered ALL of them but also!! also just the way u can hear azami kind of mumble stutter like we-well I bet he doesn’t even remember the card stuff (why would he really care about me…) and then sakyo clearly Does. and it’s just like.

it’s so clear that while sakyo is convinced that he barely has the right to talk to azami bc he betrayed him by chasing after his dream… a lot of what azami is worried about is that sakyo doesn’t care about him anymore. like imagine you’re fourteen and you’ve just learned that the guy you secretly think of as your dad, who’s like the only one that’s supported your dreams, is leaving you to pursue his own. without you. and you get into a huge fight with him about it and storm off. and then a week passes and you don’t hear from him. months pass and you don’t hear from him. whenever he’s around doing ginsenkai stuff you just… don’t really talk to him. and you’re fourteen maybe fifteen so you’re too embarrassed to reach out first. besides if he left that easily maybe this whole thing was just a job to him, huh? maybe he never liked you as much as you liked him. whatever. whatever. it’s fine. like the “I bet he’s having so much fun now” line azami says… it’s so clear he believes like. oh sakyo was slumming it with me and left for greener pastures.

and of course sakyo is sitting there like oh I’ve committed the biggest betrayal ever by not supporting his dreams well enough. he probably hates me and doesn’t want to ever see my face again. and like that’s not helping.

and then you run away from your bio dad because you can’t let go of your own dreams and when you don’t have anywhere to go it turns out that you can actually run to the place sakyo went to. and strangest of all sakyo is letting you stay. like the way he just. the pause he has when sakyo says he’s basically his guardian. the feeling of. sakyo is… admitting that? does he… does he WANT to be my dad (I thought he didn’t want to—)

and now you’re here in a hospital and just saw sakyo was super worried about you and also like. maybe treasures you in the way that you thought he did. sakyo says his story of running away is about a pathetic kid but it’s also like. for azami he just learned that the card thing he did with sakyo and liked so much that he still keeps them carefully is actually a parent-child thing sakyo did with his own mom!!! it’s like. oh my god.

azami talking abt his own experience with buying cards and then his dad trashing them, though… I. hm. I am going to leave the section abt azami’s bio dad alone bc I’m tempted to get mean about it and I kind of want to leave that for later.

so, skipping forward to the actual play… it was so cool to see summer come in for support! and I always love seeing how the chapters extend what we see in the actual play. also the voice acting that’s good too. the one thing I noticed was like. “you remember the boy with brown hair you killed three years ago?” who’s going to tell them that taichis hair is as red as ever. so roy’s hair was never brown. it got kinda brown when he became undead? but before I don’t think it was.

cannot believe those asshole delinquents were the ones who almost hit azami. the title “buff high schooler” is just rly funny to me tho. sakoda chasing after azami and then calling everyone was so good of him. smart choice my guy. love how everyone in autumn (minus taichi who seems a little nervous) is like. it’s fighting time. very cool to see all of natsugumi volunteer to be opening act. was confused by the “I always repay my debts” line but I think it’s for banri acting as stand in for kumon? which is nice bc it’s like. tenma is the one saying this so it rly just gives the idea that like. natsugumi is a team yknow. and later when they do the acting it meshes so well with the actual play? bc like they had a specific point where they were like oh let’s adlib and do some comedy that’s undead related to make sure the play isn’t a bummer. and then here’s natsugumi just doing like those sorts of jokes.

anyways back to azamis kidnapping.

muku: won’t it be bad if they see ur faces?

me: …ah. I have. the faintest idea of where this is going [judo bear nozaki flashes to my head]

THE CG WAS. THE BEST POSSIBLE USE OF A CG EVER ITS SO GOOD. I LOST MY SHIT. THE HOLLOW EYES R KINDA TERRIFYING IN A REALLY FUNNY WAY. TAICHI THIS WAS AN AMAZING IDEA. the guitar / bass guitar (? idk instruments) that rolls in during this scene is amazingggg. it’s just the like instrumental break part of respawn which is. I went and listened to that after finishing boyhood collage and the song is like, sooooo good. much love to it. the rly fast vocal parts made me think of the fast parts of worlds end dancehall. which is like also apocalyptic setting so that was cool. also I love worlds end dancehall.

they were so funny during this tho. sakyo going “roooar. give us back our friend, you punkass kids.” and juza forgetting what bears sound like so he just literally goes “beaaarrrr” what are you a Pokémon?

and sakoda running towards azami!!! <3 I grew soooo much affection for sakoda in this story tbh like he takes care of azami so well!

thought it was very interesting that like. when they return, everyone in natsugumi is audibly exhausted minus tenma (he’s probably got great acting stamina) and misumi (I don’t think he says any lines here? but he’s probably just got excellent physical stamina. and he and tenma did start out with the like best acting chops of the troupe) which is a cool detail.

and then azami just carefully opening up that he was terrified. not of being hit but of disappointing them and the play. and then when he says to sakyo… “I’m only saying this once, but when I was a kid, I always thought of you as my dad. And… I still do.” IM GOING TO CRY. idk. like the way that azami just Says That and let’s it hang there and then they do the play.

izumi: wow the fight scenes r intense today! (please don’t tell me it’s bc they were just actually fighting…)

damn izumi what do u want me to tell you then. huh. they stomped in their with their animal heads and azami pirouetted back to mankai? no violence involved?

and sakoda crying at the play!! again I can hear the smile in azamis voice when sakodas like bawling in front of him. when azami was like. shift couldn’t make it…? I paused and was like. azami implied shift had an interest in theater at the end of act 2 summer… could it be… and then when azami was like “the god troupe, huh…” I was like ahhhh fuck. we shall see what goes on there later ig.

also they bring up vkei again when talking abt what they want to do next and izumi shut it down… what do u have against it! honestly eyes emoji at masumi saying he likes it, tho... mazumi expressing an opinion that doesnt align with izumi's personal tastes??? maybe I’m missing something.

but the ENDING!!!!!

citron: "I have reached my limit..." AND THEN GUYS THERE HES LITERALLY THERE!!!!! I’m assuming the <> for their dialogue means they’re speaking in their native tongue anyways im going to obsess over <Citronia.> <I've come to get you.> / <I've been wondering when you'd get here.> I knew guy was coming to get citron so I’m glad to see that’s confirmed… already gave my theories on the specifics so I’m interested to see if I’m anywhere close to the mark there.

okay and Now I can talk abt azamis bio dad. i. uh. I hate him. actually he really grinds my gears in a way I didn’t think was going to happen. so I’m worried that I’m being like somewhat unfair to him bc I’m projecting my own biases onto him. so I’m sorry if u have like good opinions of him. it’s rly so funny tho I knew azami did like makeup and stuff and I was like “oh I have. No Interest in makeup or skincare so I probably won’t relate to it too hard” and then This happened and it’s like I got hit with a bowling ball.

like goddd. the way azami is like yeah I bought some cards with my allowance, and then my dad who’s not sakyo found out and threw them out. “I learned then to never let my dad get his hands on anything I’d bought with my own money” gah… not to overshare but like, I feel azami so much there. growing up I would like. never want to tell my parents I liked Anything bc I knew they’d be like oh you’re so silly and dumb and stupid for wanting any kind of merch or collectibles! it’s such a hassle!! why do u like this stupid thing!! so. ahah. I went to a concert for the first time this year and I remember my parents thinking it was weird but then one day my dad called me and he was like oh I was talking to a colleague abt the concert you’re going too and he says that band you like is like, super cool and popular. so it’s like ah. ig now that an Adult has approved it I’m a cool kid now. the same way my writing was worth shit and was totally useless until a family friend kept gushing about the way I’d helped their daughter. anyways what I’m saying it is azami I get it.

and his dad then trashed his makeup, too… like the way sakyos defense for the handmade cards were that they were like “yakuza” cards so he couldn’t complain like it’s a flimsy defense but the fact that he even had to like, make a Justification about these cards when it’s like. these handmade cards aren’t going to help azami fit in or make friends at all so like they’re not accomplishing what the store bought ones were for. but like you still need to defend against it.

but yeah the way it’s like. wow at a pretty young age azami was like oh okay. so if I like ANYTHING I can’t tell my dad about it or he might ruin it. do I feel that this is perhaps part of why he seems so cautionary abt romance yeah sure.

the first time I actually teared up during this whole thing was actually sakyo in the hospital telling azami not to give up. that he can do it even in defiance of his parents. and it’s so meaningful bc sakyos like his DAD. and he’s telling him he’ll support him… like idk. something so heartwarming abt a parental figure being like, hey, you need to prize yourself to the point that if needs must, you can even rebel against me.

the conversation sakyo and izumi have after that, too… “after seeing my boss, I get the feeling there’s no dad out there who doesn’t care about his kids.” this line makes me feel. So Complicated. like I won’t deny the fact that I think azamis dad cares for him on…. Some level…. but it’s like homares grandmother. im glad she loved him but it doesn’t erase the ways that she hurt him, yknow?

also sakyo. you live with misumi tenma and masumi. masumi you can maybe argue his dad caring abt him and same with tenma (but. I mean I’m not HAPPY abt arguing that bc they r rly under baseline care.) but anyways are u gonna do that with misumi’s dad. then again probably only summer troupe knows about the situation there… honestly sakyo probably knows nothing abt the tenma situation too. so he’d only know about masumi and masumis dad seemed like fairly reasonable and nice at the end.

sakoda was so cool here tho. first off having the nerve to even try to still lie about the tickets to protect azami. and then when azami got dragged to his bio dad the fact that sakoda just. started yelling at him? amazing. this made me cry again. like yeah sakodas been watching him… what azamis doing isn’t child’s play! he’s right! and sakoda knows all of this bc he’s been caring abt that kid for forever!! to the point that he’ll yell at the yakuza head like this bc he cares that much!!!

and azami is like. god. I rly love the way he was like. so openly resentful. “Since when have you ever been a father to me?! Dont pull that shit on me now!” ouch. so true though.

and the. the way that uh. “Wh-what are you bowing for? This asshole doesn’t deserve—“ you can HEAR the trembling in his voice. he’s holding back tears. sakyo bowing FOR azami is so good. like I think this scene hit me so hard bc like both sakoda and sakyo who have the lives they do now mostly in thanks to the ginsenkai, are like… sticking up for azami. who is fifteen and thus hasn’t really Given them anything but like his presence. and they care enough about him to stick up for him anyways.

anyways I hadn’t thought abt this until now but it’s like huh… yeah no wonder azami made something up. he wouldn’t want to talk abt sakyo in front of sakyo bc that would be like admitting he still cared abt him. and he didn’t want to talk abt his parents in front of sakyo bc uh. it would be complicated ofc. like in his boyhood collage he was like oh I don’t even remember why I ran away, but shift was probably frustrated and stuff. but like clearly azamis mom had just recently died at that point. he probably just didn’t want to talk about that.

the reveal that the magic brush he uses on kumon was his mothers makeup brush, though… like the way it was her cheek blush to make herself look less sick. and he does the same thing for kumon years later. it just makes it… so much more affectionate. ”I wanted to use its magic to make someone happy like that again. I wanted to do for someone else what I could no longer do for my mom.” and YOU DID!!!

and then his bio dad’s response to all of this. “well, aren’t you all just making me out to be some evil villain. you think there’s a parent out there who doesn’t want to support his child’s dreams?” yes. yes absolutely.

and the way his reasoning is just like. he just thought azami was making up excuses to run away from the family. that uh. that’s not. true… ugh this part is what made me so frustrated. like azami, after his portrait, so very specifically asserts that’s he’s his son and because of that he’ll do anything for him and ginsenkai family. and it’s like. Yeah. I know what it’s like to be so aware of your position as someone’s child and know that even as you hate them you will also do anything for them even if they won’t recognize that. like… he never even asked. azami was so pissed about getting his makeup trashed that he literally ran away and didn’t come back. and you’re still assuming oh it was a little side hobby, if he REALLY cared about it he would’ve, what, psychic mind beamed the force of his feelings to you? if you had paid attention like sakyo or sakoda you would’ve clearly seen how long and how deeply he’s loved it for. even if it had been for a short time how would you know it wouldn’t grow into something else, anyways. like acting.

also his “study your ass off and aim for the top.” line about makeup and then when he gifts him the makeup set later… good on him for personally buying that stuff. but that line left such a sour taste for me bc it’s like. ugh… honestly it just hit a sore spot bc I remember my parents being like. hi child. you can do like, anything you want supposedly but if you want to do like Anything in the humanities field or arts field you’ll have to be the top 1% of it otherwise you’ll die alone. so like if you’re not good enough to do that just quit (I am implying you’re not good enough). and it’s just like. idk. the sort of implications that if azamis not like the best at makeup ever and also that if he hadn’t chosen to do it bc of his mother and it was just something he Liked, then that reason wouldn’t be enough…? that’s just the vibe I get.

also azamis bio dad being like sigh I’ll tell sayuri you’ve become a strong independent man instead of the family head. it just rly irks me like. even now it felt like hey old man. are you looking more at your dead wife than you’re looking at your actual child. because that’s what it feels like.

anyways idk. I hope azami has more space later in life to be a bit more resentful bc I think he deserves it, yknow? I think the way the whole thing went down like, Made Sense bc why would that guy like admit he had hurt his son… that’s like. unrealistic. so I don’t think the story was written badly or anything. it just made me like. really sad. azami didn’t end up loudly crying (im not counting the wailing he has to do in the play for his dead dad.) and like that makes sense to me. actually I think it was very Cool Of Him to never lose his composure That Badly. uh and he’s going to do great considering he as a middle schooler is like rolling normally with college students. but I just want him to be like. feel safe even when he’s not excelling, yknow?

I fear I lost the plot or rambled a bit too hard there at the end, so sorry if it’s incoherent!! I rly like azami!! this was a very good story. im also ridiculously excited for winter.

HUH OH. SORRY ABOUT THAT LMAO. a3 relatability strikes again?

let's go into it!

dFKJDFKLFDJ zombie fun night is perfect. Banri is really being a good leader and figuring out how to have Azami engage with what they're going to do it's just. god Banri is good.

HELPP. Tenma scaredycat, but also for the lizard thing, so valid, i would do the same. AND HELP for the necklace. This is so funny. and yeah Azami's makeup skills truly are shining there! DLKFJDKLFJD being so used to a3 dropping emotional bombs that this just ended up being funny makes it even softer. But yeah agreed on the way Banri coaches him and still encourages him even though it's obvious Azami doesn't feel the same way about theater yet. For Banri who went from uninterested to "this is my whole life actually", it must be jarring to look at this past mirror, but even more reasons to take it easy.

God the Omi and Azami scene was so good. (friend was staring into oblivion during this whole scene and then cursed me. I would love to be all awww but i couldn't stop laughing.)

But yeah it was so nice that like, so many of them worked together in trying to help out? like it really shows that they're really all a family and a community now, and they'll try to help with their newest members as well. AND AWW. yeah Summer is happiness itself. always missing them. even Azami cannot resist them.

BUT YEAH Azami's awkwardness aroound Omi is just. man. Exactly as you say, it's just, difficult to approach right. but yeah it does serve to justify why it goes smoothly with Kumon on the other hand. Omimi's portrait… just, absolutely heartbreaking again as always. I wonder if Omi did take a break when he was being a delinquant and therefore is doubling down on being of service because he still feels guilty for this time. or if him joining the theater troupe is his vision of taking a break since it means his family has to handle things on their own. Or maybe like Juza and Taichi he's just being too hard on himself.

JUZA SO GOOD. ALWAYS.

and here's the meat of it! yes that CGI was so good man. You really feel just how important Azami is to Sakyo in that image. Also if i recall correctly, Kumon panicked over the phone so they really all expected it to be bad while it was just, Kumon panicking, which somewhat makes it even funnier to me. Anyway. Sakyo good dad. that's all i'd say. god this scene is so emo. AND YESS SOBS THE CARDS STUFF. IT'S GENUINELY SO EMO. Azami not able to believe Sakyo would care this much while of course Sakyo does, come on and it's just. god this arc. God the whole way you describe Azami's thoughtprocess is bringing me to tears. I feel like this is exactly how he felt it yeah. Sakyo is worrying about how he "betrayed" Azami by leaving while Azami would have been just fine with it if it didn't feel like Sakyo was abandonning him and only thinking of him as a duty, and it's just. godd. and goddd the way you describe the rest i'm just. soso emo. They really have a neat relationship, a hurt neither of them were able to explain to the other and therefore they hurt one another like that, but they genuinely care so much and want to be part of each other's lives and and y'know what Azami maybe Sakyo is the only dad you need.

SUMMER SO COOL YEAH!! And yeah the play is pretty nice, though yeah. I guess with Azami at makeup they tried new hair things but Taichi's hair stayed too red for it all smh! but i guess in a huge theater it might not matter so much.

SAKODA IS SOOOO GOOD, UNSUNG MVP OF THIS EPISODE. yeah for Tenma's "i always repay my debts" it's about how Autumn helped Kumon out, so Summer is going to help Autumn and Azami out as well basically. And yeah Tenma definitely see them as a team, he's Natsugumi's leader and therefore he speaks for and takes debts for all of Natsugumi. What a lad. But Natsugumi did such a good job and i love how hard they helped on this one. truly MVPs.

Also yes i love how all of Autumn was ready to fight except Taichi who was nervous, but i love even more that it's Taichi who comes up with the plan on how to infiltrate the base. Really reminding us that he was with the "Bad Boys" because of spy related crimes by how he can come up with plans to infiltrate stuff, but also i love this so much. It's kinda where i started to have my headcanon of "Taichi is scaryingly smart when it comes to illegal stuff". Like the idea of Taichi messing up say, simple math, but coming up with an infiltration plan that would even have Chikage pause is one of my favorit headcanons ever, and it all started because of this.

BUT YES THE CG WAS SO GODDAMN PERFECT. IT'S ONE OF MY FAV CG EVER IT'S SO FUNNY. And with the song in the back, it was GLORIOUS. i'm glad you liked Respawn!!!! it's such a neat song! Also i need to share this stage video: https://www.tumblr.com/icharchivist/708632707674079232?source=share

BUT YEAH it was so funny and i lOVE that they were dedicated in like, actually playing their animals like. dguys you didn't HAVE to. you're just so funny. AND JUZA'S "BEAAAR", it's so good. I love them so much.

Sakoda MPV <33333 he really does take care of Azami so well it's really soft.

And yeah Summer's exhaustion is a nice detail. god it makes me wonder for how long they went on, a wonder the public didn't get weirded out by it.

AND SOBS YEAH AZAMI'S SPEECH. YEAH. And also the "maybe it's because i have two assholes dad that i turned into such an asshole" with a bright smile on his face. god he's so good.

And eheheh for Shift, but, yeah. yeah…. AND SAKODA REALLY GOOD. and please just let them having some vkei related play it's all good!! it's worth it!! maybe this time none of you would oppose Juza wearing a dress if the whole thing is about being scared he wouldn't look feminine enough smh!! AND LDKJFKLDFJD MASUMI'S RARE INDIVIDUALISTIC MOMENT.

AND THAT ENDING!!! yeah < > are for foreign languages in general, and in their case it's their native one. But finally. Guy teasing just to build up to it now!!!

Ok so, now, Azami's dad.

"my dad who's not Sakyo" i love that we're carrying it on on "Real Dad Sakyo" and "Not Sakyo Dad", it says everything.

And i'm all good with the oversharing as long as you're comfortable with it, and man. Yeah i feel you on that, my family is pretty much the same. I've also had my family like, throw out or destroy my stuff, important stuff, either without my knowledge or in front of me, so to say i felt Azami really hard would be an understatement. It's a whole level of violation that is just, really hard to swallow and forgive. Impossible even.

Honestly the whole writings over the problematic dads of Mankai, in the whole story, is so conflicting to me in general. I feel like. The issue is that most of the bad parents we meet don't have anything else going for them, the only thing we know about them per se is their function in society, and that they're bad with their kids. They're tools for their kids's backstory more than actual people. And i feel like Azami's dad actually sounds like a real person. A conflicting, messed up person with his own issues, and that ends up hurting Azami as a result. There's a difficulty to reconcile how the dad took good care of Sakyo as a kid for instance, to how he behaved with Azami, and it's really unnerving in general. And as such it puts Sakyo in a position of wanting to defend the man because he owes him so much, and it's difficult to blame him for that, but as a result Azami loses one of his major support.

Honestly my feelings about Azami's dad are complicated. I believe he's the one father of Mankai who can actually realistically work on his issues and improves his relationship with Azami. I believe he cares for Azami on some level more than just material (in opposition to how i'd consider Tenma's, who cared for his carreer more, and Masumi's, who only cared when he needed to fill his divorce's loneliness, and well, Misumi's don't care.). So i end up believing there is a possibility still for this relationship to improve in a realistic way that doesn't feel just like a deus ex machina like the others dads have been. but god, this particular brand of neglect and mistreatment truly also struck a core with me and therefore i can't totally go unbiased about it and ends up just, uncomfortable and unsure. It's so complicated.

Mostly i'd say my different approach is that, even if Tenma, Masumi or Misumi wants to work things out with their dad, i would be completely opposed to it. Purely "why the fuck, no, that's not worth it" at them. But if Azami wants to work it out it's like. "Fine. just stay safe, know you can remove yourself from it whenever you feel like it, and remember to be yourself, and bail out anytime something would go out of hands". yaknow?

But yeah i agree i feel like it really puts Azami in a position of hypervigilence. Everything had to always be a secret, calculated, you only show to your father what you're ready to defend, and it would make some stuff like romance or passions in general, stuff that leaves you emotionally vulnerable, as something that's just too much risk for very little reward. So you just closes in completely.

so Sakyo being there and actually showing him that he can just be himself and he doesn't have to worry more ahead of it is meaningful because yeah, like you say, it gives him a parental figure who is actually willing to let him experiment and be free without having to always be prepared to defend why you want to do something.

“after seeing my boss, I get the feeling there’s no dad out there who doesn’t care about his kids.” i actually really hate this line in a sense, i know Sakyo is mostly just, extrapolating to what he's seeing now, but i hate it on a personal level. I do think Azami's dad cares for Azami, but yeah exactly like you said, like Homare's grandma, his own issues means he hurt Azami in ways that are ways too deep for love to just be enough. Sometimes parents love you and hurt you more than a parent who would merely tolerate you. Because they love you so much they want to make sure you're well fitted to the world and ends up messing you up as a result.

But yeah god, i'm glad we're on the same page, you can't say "all dads care for their kids" when you're living with those kids, and Misumi's in particular. This makes me see so red. I get Sakyo has a personal bias here but giod. but yeah Sakyo probably only knows about Masumi's and yeah, Masumi's dad was reasonable at the end that he might work it out. but also like, didn't Sakyo's dad abandon hm and his mom?! that the whole reason his mom had a hard time in life was because of that? bc i don't remember if Sakyo's absent dad is due to abandon or death. Bc if it's abandon, i feel like Sakyo shouldn't be the one saying all dad cares yaknow? I still think that, the Wastonian reasons of it all, is because Sakyo owes so much to the Boss that he tries to rationalize things in his favor yaknow? But the Doylist reason, i think, is mostly that the one weakness of a3's writing is truly with how they manage to create realistic scenarios of abuses and the way it affects the kids, but then they want to solve it with the parents going "my bad", and the problem is that it's not how coping with abuse works yaknow.

SAKODA IS SOOO COOL HERE YEAH. Like man, the glow up Sakoda got in this arc with how much he would go to hell for this kid and fight the devil himself if he had to. god. unsung mvp.

Azami is totally entitled to throw that at his father's face, go Azami go.

" sakyo bowing FOR azami is so good. like I think this scene hit me so hard bc like both sakoda and sakyo who have the lives they do now mostly in thanks to the ginsenkai, are like… sticking up for azami. who is fifteen and thus hasn’t really Given them anything but like his presence. and they care enough about him to stick up for him anyways. " OGHHH SO TRUE. THIS IS REALLY SO. SO GOOD.

and you're right about Azami's collage being the way it was. It makes sense Azami just didn't want to share this vulnerability, especially with Sakyo, at a point where he still believed Sakyo didn't care for him on top of that. It's really just. man.

SOBS AND YEAH FOR THE MAGIC BRUSH….

"and then his bio dad’s response to all of this. “well, aren’t you all just making me out to be some evil villain. you think there’s a parent out there who doesn’t want to support his child’s dreams?” yes. yes absolutely. " DJFHDL LEGIT. GOD.

But yeah i feel you on everything else you mention about Azami's dad it's just. Acting like Azami was at fault for not making it clear he was serious, while also making the environment too hostile for Azami to even come out and say that. He's responsible for how Azami couldn't trust him and then he blames Azami for not trusting him in a sense. It's really frustrating, and it feels like he's deflecting the blame, while also kinda taking the blame itself. I'm glad he's trying to fix things, and i do think he feels guilty, but it's still so sour.

and i'm so sorry your parents made you feel all those things :( but yeah i totally get what you mean on how it relates to Azami. It's just so unfair to put on him the pressure to be the best of the best.

In a sense i feel it fits a lot of the thematic of Autumn of like… The reasons they have Regrets to start with is because of the expectations people have put on them, whenever it is over their abilities (Banri) or their appearance (Juza) or their age (Sakyo) ect. And i feel like Azami is in this situation where he's about to regret it if he doesn't take his own life in between his hands. He has to break free from those expectations and fights for what he wants. but god. He shouldn't have to fight for it. ig you can't expect Yakuza to do things the easy way, but god he really shouldn't have to fight for it it makes me so sad.

"are you looking more at your dead wife than you’re looking at your actual child" so true unfortunately hhhh.

But yeah i hope Azami gets more ways to process everything later on :/

I do think that, out of all the bad fathers' plotline, like i said, this is the most realistic one in a sense, and i do think it's well written in general. And i do think that when it comes to abused/neglected kids and their parents, there is also just… i know online the consensus is "children should just cut ties with their toxic parents" and i get how it's the easiest way to see it, to free yourself for good for the influence, but it comes with its own type of downsides that are rarely discussed and is also a lot of pressure to put on a kid. Obviously, if it's too toxic it SHOULD be the case, like i said, chara like Misumi in particular are better off moving past it, but i feel like, in Azami's situation, where despite all the hurt and all the pain, Azami still definitely see his father as a human whom he wants to work things out with… It's just really complicated. I have really messy feelings about all of this.

I do hope Azami would manage to be more resentful and end up being able to actually discuss with his dad and challenge him like, no, YOUR behavior was truly fucked up, it's not fair to ask of ME to communicate my feelings better when you never tried to listen, yaknow?

Anyway i do feel like this sort of… complicated messy conflicting feelings of resentment and yet wanting to work it out that is in Azami and his father's storyline, for how fucked up his father is, actually works very well and is very realistic, even if there would be wishes for Azami not to bother at all for it. I feel like it allows Azami the grace of having really mixed feelings about all of this without going to one extreme or the next about how to be with his father, and it's something i really personally connected with, as someone with a very difficult relationship with my family, who thought cutting ties was my best solution at some point, and now as an adult, have to deal with how while i could never ever forgive them, the other extreme isn't satisfying to me, on multiple levels. I don't like his father, but i want Azami to be able to work it out in the way he would consider satisfying, and i think that the story is written in a way that leaves this approach possible and addresses it as such, in a way i think the others bad dads of Mankai get too much of a free pass. but man. messy. And with the patern of bad dads getting off too easily this can come up as much more sour than the conflicting feelings it could have actually worked on if the others dads were treated accordingly imo.

Azami's storyarc genuinely did hit hard for me as well because of that. He's not a chara i particularly relate to outside of this specific plotline but this plotline hits not only very deep, but on mixed feelings that are hard for me to face in fiction, so it's always hard to look at.

On the light hearted side, my friend we talked about was cursing me the whole storyarc bc of how he related to Azami and then Azami's portrait happened and he genuinely just went "okay you know what fuck you" and was so emotionally damaged by the mirror that i could forget for a bit my own pain by letting him suffer a bit. Terrible friend moment.

Anyway!!! it's all good, i'm glad you did ramble, it was really nice to read and well, it's interesting things to think about, even if the conclusion isn't easily clear cut.

I'm really glad you liked Azami and his story!!!

And ehehe Winter soon <3333

And "Conquering Misoshiosa Island!" first!

Take care and always feel free to ramble <333

#ichareply #long post for ts #ichafantalks a3 #aranarumei

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dollfat · 1 year

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so thinking about my first impressions of disco elysium (about 5 hours), ive pinpointed several concerns i have

1. are all the dice rolls actually random?

like one of my first decisions is looking at a corpse without throwing up. it says i have a low chance of succeeding, so i start doing other stuff to buff my stats (more on stats later).

but after exploring the area and talking to people with little progress, i go back to the corpse, fail twice, and then succeed. and it feels like i was SUPPOSED to fail. like i was being laughed at for taking the game at its word.

same thing happens at the next plot point, i go to punch a guy when im told i have a low chance of succeeding. it works and i think i got super lucky. then i fail the follow thru and have to try again.

i think theres no way ill get so lucky a 2nd time, and i do........ now im worried im being coddled by the game. being told something is difficult so ill feel good when i win.

were those choices a part of a tutorial? so they dont actually matter? but then why would the game allow me so much freedom to do other stuff....

2. progression

theres like 20 stats and i keep failing checks, so i try to talk to people to gain experience but only get 2 points.

theres also a list of concepts i can meditate on for a few hours? i plug in the first few i find before realizing im out of slots. and idk how to unlock more.

theres a whole list of concepts i can obtain, i figured i was just choosing what order i learned them in....but do i have limited amount of things i can learn in the whole game??

3. pacing

i played DE for over 5 hours. ive gained 2 levels and read a Lot of words. its still the first day and im not sure how time works? it moves forward when i do things? how much time does each action cost? can i miss things on certain days?

its possible the game told me and i missed it, but to be fair the game is like 80% reading.

im counting all this as a first impression, i dont dislike the game. in fact i really want to like it. but these are some things ive thought about since i first played it over a week ago.

#im listening to Deus X is Fine again and i started thinking about game mechanics #idk how to put readmore on mobile sorry #dove plays de

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smireyac · 1 year

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new year, same post

so... 2022 huh?

i didn't even write a reflection post last year (well i tried but i never finished writing it) which i'm kinda really sad about because i really like having these snapshots of where i am at in my life every year... and i feel like i'm missing a year! because i am! so while i can't do a whole reflection of 2021, i can do my best and that's the best anyone can do

so 2021 was the start, crawling out of the hellscape that was 2020... in terms of overall quality, 2021 was a major improvement from the previous year. to make things easier, first i'll go thru what i actually accomplished on my list of goals i made at the end of 2020:

☑️ read new books: my goal was 10 and i read 8, three of which were comics/graphic novels and one was a road trip guide book? so technically i read more than before

☑️ watch new shows/movies: i made a letterboxd to keep track of what i watched instead of the notebook idea i had and i watched 48 movies/tv shows !!! wowie that's pretty good i never counted that out b4 :D

☑️ listen to new music: my spotify wrapped had very much different music than previous years so i did the dang thing too ...it uh... got flooded by OM music cuz i had a phase in the summer but other than that its all pretty diverse !

☑️ eat new food: i had kbbq for the first time in 2021 so i think that counts?

☑️ go on a road trip/visit some place ive never been before/go to a club: so i planned a pretty spontaneous trip to LA cuz i saw an ad on Instagram for a city pop night at a club in DTLA... i thought it was a rare thing (turns out it ain't lol) so i got my friends to go and it was really fun and i knocked these 3 things out in one go (tho the road trip one is a little ehh bc we didn't make any stops, we just drove ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) bc i've never been to little tokyo and it was in a club! so check!!

so as far as goals go that's pretty good! other notable highlights of the year include:

⭐ i passed my drivers test (after failing the first time lol) and got a car that i love so dang much!

⭐ tried dating (the first time) and it didn't get far lol (that's on me)

⭐ karaoke night after not seeing people in person for over a year

⭐ played d&d in-person again finally

⭐ HELLA MEGA TOUR!! THAT WAS TIGHT AF 10/10 would recommend

⭐ saw lindsay and kaveh at a book signing event that was pretty cool !! (still have to read the book lol;;)

so yeah ! it was pretty great, all things considered... i think around this time last year covid cases were surging and things were feeling bad again so my perspective of the year was tainted by that cloud but looking back, i think i had a pretty good run...

i had made another, separate doc as a kinda goal list ? but i never finished it either lmao but i did put 3 things on it:

🌠 read more (surprise surprise)

🌠 write something

🌠 join a club at school

i said 2021 would be the year of new and i think i accomplished that

SO 2022 HUH??

thats what this whole thing was supposed to be about lol

lotta stuff happened... started off strong by getting covid (lol), went to big bear for the first time, technically saw snow (on the ground) for the first time, saw remi TWICE in ONE YEAR, tried dating again (still didn't get very far), saw ORI AGAIN FINALLY, hung out with pals A LOT, ate good food, got really (back) into comics this year??, worked full time at the library this summer, got over my stupid crush FINALLY, went to 3 conventions - 1 of which being COMIC CON... anD OH YEAH I GOT PROMOTED!! pretty accomplished i would say

as far as my goals from last year i actually accomplished something!! and hey 2 outta 3 ain't bad ;^)

i reached my reading goal with 13/12 !! granted 5 of them were graphic novels again but i stuck with my book club (kinda;;) and read some stuff!! i started a lot more books than i finished this year but i want to push myself harder next year (this year)!! my want-to-read list on GoodReads is 500+ and that hasn't even been updated recently!! i gotta step my game up man,, i think i decided i want to try to be an editor someday so i gotta go for it!!

did i write something this year??? in fact i fucking did!! i wrote fanfiction even!! something i srsly never thought i would actually accomplish... and i started a first real draft for J+M and got thru most of the first "season" of that!! so that's cool!! i wanna write more!! i found this writing tracker like halfway thru the year and was trying to add to it retroactively but it was hard so i don't know exactly how many words i wrote this year BUT it's more than 40k!! so WOW!! I'll keep better track this year so we can know fr fr

if 2021 was the year trying new things, 2022 seemed to be the year of getting used to the new normal bc surprise!! covid is still around!! but ig it'll be endemic now instead of a pandemic bc we couldn't fucking eradicate it 🙄 whatever...

the last couple months of 2022 kinda painted the whole year a somber color but looking back, i can see that i had a really good time for the most part... i hope 2023 will be nice :^)

SO... GOALS:

🎆 read more!! let's keep the ball rolling! 12 more!! once a month!!! and i'm not gonna add comics unless i've read a real book with words first!!!!

🎆 write more!! no goals let's just see what happens :^) i hope that maybe some fandom interaction will motivate me bc i love attention and praise!!! also my secret writing project 👀

🎆 apply to transfer to university next year!! this was supposed to happen this year but... shit happened yk

🎆 do stuff with friends!! gotta keep it up bb: NYC, hot springs, see snow, MKE??, LA

🎆 make new friends?? perhaps??? 👀 idk!!!

i will end this post with all the movies i'm super fucking pumped to see this year: M3GAN, the mario movie, the D&D movie, the BARBIE movie!!, new transformers movie??, blue beetle movie, SPIDERVERSE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!

it'll be a good year for me for movies ❤️

here's to 2023!! 🥂

#omg i talk #happy new year

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timegearremix · 3 years

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I HAVE TO PLAY ALLEY OF DOLLS AGAIN I KEEP MISSING SHIT

#IVE PLAYED THE WHOLE THING TWICE AND IVE STILL MISSED STUFF #thats fuckin epic though theres so much in these games its amazing

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ashintheairlikesnow · 3 years

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A Little Bit Stabbed

Jake Gets Stabbed Miniseries: First Second Third Fourth Fifth Sixth

CW: Discussion of past child abuse/domestic violence, description of stab wound, painkillers/drugged but in a good way, brief IV needle reference, some short references to Jake’s religious trauma, some trauma response stuff

“Took four of us to get you onto the couch, you know,” Kauri says, fingers moving gently to brush Jake’s short hair back off his forehead. There’s a hint of humor to his deep voice, but Jake catches the tremor in it, too. “You’re heavier than you look.”

“Must be… pretty fucking heavy, then,” Jake manages, voice slightly thin. They gave him something - Nat’s EMT friend showed up with IV supplies while refusing to tell anyone where they’d gotten ahold of everything from, except to repeatedly reassure all of them I know someone, it’s taken care of, I probably won’t go to jail for this. Besides, I’ve been in jail before.

Jake might not have found it very reassuring if he wasn’t halfway to unconscious from the pain alone at the time.

Now, though, there’s a needle feeding a steady supply of something wonderful into his bloodstream, holding the worst of the pain at bay. All he can feel now is maybe a little bit of an itch he knows better than to scratch, and a heaviness to his limbs that keeps them limp and relaxed.

“We had to turn the stupid thing into the pull-out bed just to make sure your feet wouldn’t be higher than your head.” Kauri smiles at him, but there’s worry in those warm blue eyes, and Jake uses every ounce of strength to lift his good hand, the one on the uninjured side, and take Kauri’s, pulling his knuckles to his lips to brush against them.

“I’m okay,” Jake says softly. “I am, Kaur. It’s not so bad.”

“It’s not-... you got fucking stabbed in your own kitchen, Jake.” Kauri’s lips thin and he looks away, over towards the TV, playing Clue.

Funny, Jake thinks, woozy and untethered to any kind of focus. My mom used to play Clue when we were alone, after. Made her feel better for a while.

“Just a… a flesh wound,” Jake manages in a terrible approximation of a British accent.

Kauri just looks at him, expression serious, and leans over until their foreheads touch. He’s warm, and Jake’s eyes close, basking in the body heat that comes off of him, surrounds them both. “Don’t,” Kauri whispers. “Please don’t make jokes. I thought-”

“It’s okay,” Jake murmurs.

Eventually, he should probably tell someone he can only sort of feel the hand on the injured side. But not now.

“It’s okay. It’s not s’bad. I got the good drugs, right?”

“Antibiotics and…” Kauri squints at the label on the bag attached to the IV, then winces and shakes his head. “Sorry. Can’t read today. It, uh. It kind of comes and goes when I’m worried, and today-”

“I get it. But… you don’t have to worry about me, Kaur. It’s over, it happened… I’ll feel better pretty fast. It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Kauri says softly, but he relaxes beside Jake, keeping a hold of his hand. His fingers are slightly chilled, but they warm against Jake’s. The two of them settle into silence for a while, a woman in black on the TV with eyes blown wide in comic exaggeration of anger speaking in a blur of sound Jake knows by heart but can’t really pick apart from anything else, not just yet, not right now.

He knows this movie by heart. He and his mom used to curl up under a blanket while she closed her eyes and prayed for things to get better and Jake prayed for his dad to die in a car accident or some other terrible way, and make it slow, and then pray with terror not to go to hell for thinking like that.

If men like his father go to heaven, Jake would rather burn in hell.

At least my favorite bands would be there, he thinks, and laughs to himself, shoulders shaking a little, sending a ripple of pain down his arm and spiking into his skull. He winces, but the thought still strikes him as too funny to quit circling woozily around his mind, and he keeps laughing a little.

Kauri turns to look at him, eyebrows raised. “What are you laughing at?”

Jake blinks over at him, those wide blue eyes. It had been hell not to be able to hold him for so long, with eyes like that. Real hell, the kind where you spend your days wishing for a connection that seems too hard to make. “Nothing, just… thinking about shit with my dad,” He says, finally. “My mom and I used to watch Clue all the time. It’s her favorite movie.”

“Yeah?” Kauri looks over his shoulder, back at the television, and Jake’s eyes move lazily over the slight bump in his nose where it was broken by someone years ago, the dip of his lips, the roundness of his chin, angling a little with age. The way his neck would feel to trace with just one fingertip, how he smiles when Jake does it, asks him what the fuck he’s looking at when there’s way more to Kauri that needs attention right now than just his face.

There’s a lazy wave of warmth in Jake, a steady thrum of something that goes much deeper than arousal, at the memory.

Adoration.

“Yeah,” He says, softly. “She’d put it on when he left the house, we’d make popcorn and watch it. Saturday night special, popcorn and a movie, Mom and Jake.”

“Where’d your dad go?” Kauri asks, then the answer catches up with him, and he winces. “Wait, sorry. I think I know where he went.”

“Church.”

That is clearly not what Kauri expected to hear. “I-... what?” He turns back to Jake, eyebrows furrowing. “I thought-”

“Nope. He went to church. Fish fry on Saturdays, he volunteered.” Jake is dimly aware that this might be more than he’s ever told Kauri about his father, at least more than he’s ever said that wasn’t laser-focused on the hurts, the bruises, the concussion, the ER visits where Jake learned to lie. “He was a magician with a deep fryer. Best fucking fish I ever ate.” He laughs, then coughs a little against the new round of ache in his shoulder.

Kauri is quiet for a moment, his eyes searching Jake’s face, maybe looking for an idea of how to respond the right way. Jake knows that look - he’s seen it less and less over the years, but it never fully stops.

Kauri never stops looking for the safe answer, the one that won’t get him hurt. Jake never stops being ready to fight his way out if it happens again. Kauri is still ready to say what the abuser needs to hear, placate and please and keep himself alive.

Jake is still ready to pick up a weapon and use it if his father ever comes near he or his mother again. Not that he ever will. Not that he even wants to, sixteen years after Jake last saw his face.

But he’s still built, deep within, to fight the threat. And so is Kauri, in his own way.

“I love you so much,” Jake says softly. “I hope you didn’t pull anything dragging my ass around.”

“Mmmn, guess I’ll find out,” Kauri says softly, snuggling back up to him, then. “Should we change the movie? If it’s, like, a thing for you-”

“Nah.” Jake smiles, slightly. He feels pleasantly drunk, on whatever the painkiller slowly drip-feeding into his arm is. A little woozy, a little bit in love with it. “It’s like a comfort thing, really. I should call my mom-”

“I already did,” Kauri says, gently pushing him back down as Jake tries to make himself sit up. “She’s driving up. She said she’ll get here in the morning, she had to find someone to watch her dog.”

Jake blinks twice. “Mom has a dog?”

“I think it’s new. But, um. You can’t exactly meet her at her hotel, Jake. She’s gonna have to come here.”

Jake feels a rush of old nerves prickling along his arms, the hair of his neck trying to stand up. He closes his eyes, tries to push it back down. “I’ve never given her my address. It’s not safe for us. What if-... I don’t know. I’ve just never… I’ve always worried that if he found her, you know, that he’d… convince her to tell him where I live. He’d turn us all in just to feel like the big righteous moral hero all over again. Probably hard to feel that way when you’re hitting a teenager. Easier when you’re turning in vigilantes with stolen property.” He spits the words, and Kauri flinches a little. “Shit. Sorry, Kaur.”

“No, it’s. It’s okay. I get what you mean. But I don’t think your mom would do that. She loves you.”

“She does.” Jake exhales, closes his eyes. Inside him there is still an angry child that wants to point out that it hasn’t always been enough. But there’s a grown man, and a decade of fucking therapy, telling him there’s a whole lot more to it than that. “And she’s finally come around to understanding why I do this. Yeah… yeah, we’ll tell her where I am. It’ll be fine. Honestly, it’s not so bad. Jameson really did a great job on the stabbing.” Jake tries to laugh again. “Fucking surgeon with a butcher knife. He managed to miss every fucking bit of me that would have killed me.”

“Except for if you bled out,” Kauri points out, voice small.

“Yeah… but I didn’t.” Jake thinks of Antoni’s face, the focus in his dark eyes, the quick movement of his hands, the blinding agony of the cloth being forced into the wound to soak up the blood, the way Antoni had leaned all his weight forwards to put enough pressure to staunch the bleeding. Jake had never felt pain like that before, and he’s not sure he could handle feeling it again. “Ant was there. It’ll be okay. Where is he?”

“In his room.” Picking at the heavy thick blanket laid over Jake, not quite looking at him now, Kauri asks, “How are you so calm about this?”

“Drugs,” Jake answers right away. “Like ninety percent drugs.” He groans as a throbbing ache travels from the stab wound, up into his skull, all the way down to his toes. “Fuck. The… whatever’s in there helps. But also…” Jake sighs, letting his eyes drift to the ceiling, over the popcorn-texture there. He’d meant to scrape it clean and smooth, when he bought the house, but other stuff kept taking priority, and he hadn’t gotten around to it yet. “This isn’t th’ first time, you know?”

Kauri frowns. “Jake, I have licked just about everything on your body, I’ve never seen a scar from-”

“Not… not stabbed. But… stuck here, on a couch-bed, tryin’... tryin’ to heal from shit. That’s not new.” Jake exhales. Above him, the blades of the ceiling fan circle lazily, and his eyes follow the movement of the shadows.

“No, I guess not.”

“In any case… I haven’t s-seen… Jameson’s upstairs, right? Can you get him down here?”

Something passes over Kauri’s face, a shadow, a discomfort and darkness that Jake can’t quite read. “Jameson’s not in the house, Jake.”

“What? Why?” Jake starts trying to sit up again, and this time Kauri’s gentle push isn’t enough to get him back down. He grinds his teeth against the pain and forces himself upright, trying to shift his legs over the side of the bed. The room spins around him, dizzy-sick flip in his stomach, but he ignores it. He’s felt worse than this and kept moving before. “Shit, fuck, I should’ve made sure he didn’t leave-”

“He didn’t. I made him go.”

The look Jake turns on Kauri is baffled, but there’s anger, too, welling up inside him. “You what?”

“I told him he can’t stay here if he’s a danger to you and the others,” Kauri says, but he cringes back from Jake’s expression, instinctive fear. Jake hates how he looks like his dad - huge and muscular, a threat inherent in his existence that he might not give off if he were smaller. But his bulk and his strength is also the thing that makes him capable of withstanding the danger he puts himself in for them. It’s the reason he could come home and pick Chris up with a broken rib and carry him after they raided the last safehouse he’d lived in. It’s the reason he could finally fight back with his dad. It’s the reason the kids at his new schools, one after another after another as he and his mom moved constantly to try not to be found, left him alone.

“Kauri, he can’t-... Jameson’s not. He can’t live on his own.”

“That’s a lie,” Kauri says, lips barely moving. “That’s a lie they tell us-”

“No, that’s not what I-... Jameson’s like Chris,” Jake says, softly. “Like Chris used to be. He was treated like an animal, Kauri. He didn’t get to use fucking utensils to eat in the last two places he was held, he told me himself. He can’t live on his own yet. If you kicked him out… Jesus Christ, Kauri, do you not remember how it felt when you were kicked out?”

Kauri looks like he’s been slapped. “Wait, Jake-... I didn’t mean-”

“We found you half-dead under a goddamn bush, Kauri, you can’t do that to someone else just because I got a little bit stabbed! Shit. Fuck. I gave him a burner phone, if he’s still got it on him, maybe I can call-”

“Jakob fucking Stanton!” Kauri yells so rarely, and Jake goes still, turning to look at him, seeing the anger written across Kauri’s face. Kauri angry is electric, and immensely sexy, and something Jake had gone so long thinking he would never see unless Vincent Shield showed up with a new idea for how to make up for all his failures by forcing himself around someone who hated him. “Will you fucking listen to me?!”

Jake just sits there, staring at him. He can’t even find the words. Eventually, he just nods.

“I didn’t kick him out on the street, I’m not that awful, and fuck you for thinking I am and we’re going to talk about that later when you aren’t half off your head from painkillers. I don’t want him here until you’re feeling better in case it happens again, so I-... so I sent him home with Nat. She doesn’t have anyone living with her right now, and she said okay, so he’s going to stay with her.” Kauri swallows, reaching slowly out to lay his hand on Jake’s leg. “He and I talked. He said it’s always been men, Jake. All of the ones who hurt him were men, one of them was... was really big like you, I guess. So I thought-... if he’s with Nat, maybe it won’t happen again for long enough for him to, to work it through in therapy and Dr. Berger maybe can give him, give him s-something to help. So maybe he won’t, um, hallucinate or… or w-whatever the next time.” Kauri’s eyes well up, glimmer with tears that don’t fall. “I was trying to help. I thought he’d feel safer with only a woman, maybe, and I sent him alone so that he’d know he can’t hurt Allyn, he was really scared of that, and…”

Jake’s mouth hangs open.

Kauri slumps over, his forehead slowly resting against Jake’s back where he sits slightly behind him now that Jake is nearly off the bed. “I had to make sure everyone’s safe. I didn’t know what else to do. I sent Chris to stay with Laken overnight but he’ll be back tomorrow, Antoni’s fucked up but he’s in his room and he’s safe, and all the rescues promised to stay in their rooms and Allyn tried to go with Jameson and I think they hate me now because I said no, but I didn’t-... I tried to think of what you would do, if it had been Chris or me he’d hurt. I was trying to be like you. I’m s-sorry if I fucked it up, I’m sorry, please, I thought you were going to die, please don’t be mad at me-”

“Kauri.” Jake turns, and uses his good hand to lift Kauri’s chin, meeting his eyes.

Blue on blue, always.

“I’m not mad,” He says, gently. “Not… not now. You’re right, I shouldn’t have… just been a shit deciding what you did without asking. I’m sorry. So, let me just… you spent the last couple of hours really fucking busy, huh?”

Kauri nods, kissing Jake’s fingertips, one by one. “I’m sorry,” He whispers. “I’m not… I’m not good at this, I’m not... not... I was so scared. I didn’t know what you would do, Jake, and Nat said she thought it was a good idea, so-”

“It is. It is a good idea.” Kauri blinks, surprised, and the tears that have been threatening finally run, clear as crystal, down his flushed cheeks. He looks like a fucking sculpture, Jake thinks to himself, like some artist’s idea of the perfect beautiful person. “Kauri, just. Now that I get what you were trying to do… Shit. That’s really smart.”

Kauri huffs a laugh, a kind of half-sobbing sound, and shakes his head. “It’s just, I was just guessing-”

“That’s all we ever do, too,” Jake says, voice soft. “We guess, at what we can do to help. Nat always says we make the hard choices when nobody else can. Kauri, that’s the smartest fucking idea. I’m… that’s some grace under fire shit. That’s amazing.”

“It… it is?”

“Yeah.” Jake kisses him, and Kauri tastes like mouthwash, like mint, kisses back with desperate intensity. “Yeah, Kaur. That’s even better than what I would have done. You’re so fucking smart. What made you decide to slum it with me?”

“You have a really good d-dick and I don’t w-w-want to lose access,” Kauri says, and he’s crying or laughing or maybe both. “You’re my eye candy.”

“You’re my Einstein.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck me yourself,” Jake says softly.

“Heal a little first.” Kauri sighs, half-smiling, pulling Jake back into the bed to lay down again. “Everyone’s safe, Jake. At least for now. Everyone’s okay. You need to rest, and everyone’s going to be okay.”

Jake lets his head be maneuvered back onto the pillow, feels Kauri settle back down next to him, pulling the blankets back up over them both. He’s silent for a while, lets the soft sound of the end of the movie wash over him, showing the different endings.

“I love you,” He whispers. The way the adrenaline is fading makes him sleepy, drifting in a new drowsy haze, ready to dose off again. “So much.”

“Love you, too,” Kauri murmurs.

He knows this - the couch-bed pulled out, watching movies and stand-up comedy at a low volume, a throb of pain somewhere that will heal only with time - by heart.

With Kauri’s weight and warmth beside him, it feels entirely, completely new.

@astrobly @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @whump-tr0pes @raigash @moose-teeth @orchidscript @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @eatyourdamnpears @boxboysandotherwhump @whumptywhumpdump @whumpfigure @outofangband @downriver914 @justabitofwhump @thehopelessopus @butwhatifyouwrite @yet-another-heathen @nonsensical-whump @newandfiguringitout @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whumpiary @endless-whump

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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

Text

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist.

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right??

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless......

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :(((( )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho)

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

#literally if you got through this i just respect you #this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask #i hope your ask is in here :)#sorry for everybody else #ask #bataranswers #this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy #also sidenote #does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become'#bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb #who cares tho latin is a dead language #big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence #here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram

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jaekaicx · 3 years

Text

so ive had this idea for an amphibia fangame for a lil while now-

(LONG post)

its based around the idea that sometime after anne got sent back to earth, she decides to sneak out one night to visit sasha and marcys bedrooms and poke through their stuff. this causes a bunch of memories to come back to anne through flashbacks while she tries to process everything thats happened and her feelings abt their friendship.

i was thinking itd be mostly a visual novel type thing. maybe with a few small choices, but the story would be mostly linear. thered be around 3 main story beats: a prologue bit w/ anne sneaking out of her house, marcys bedroom, and sashas bedroom. also one of the main mechanics would be looking at one of their bedrooms and clicking on random objects of importance and triggering a flashback sequence.

it came from the idea that anne will probably try to just shove all her emotions down and try to ignore her feelings abt true colors and everything that went down then. especially with what we saw in the sneak peek, anne will probably try to hide her emotions and bottle them up, which is obviously not healthy. so eventually shes gonna have to work through her emptional baggage and try to process everything.

i havent thought through EVERYTHING just yet, just some more major plot points and maybe one or two ideas for flashbacks. nothing too solid yet. but heres a bit more detailed runthrough of the plot

summary - prologue

so it would start off with anne at home. she and her mom are talking outside annes room. her moms concerned abt how annes been handling everything that happened in amphibia but anne keeps brushing everything off. her mom tries to get her to open up, but she keeps dismissing her and eventually shuts herself in her room. after taking a bit to cool off and think anne decides that shes gonna take the night to just ride off her emotions and stop repressing them for once. she also makes an impulsive decision to sneak out and check out marcy and sashas rooms.

anne goes to gather her stuff in her room, and just as shes about to climb out the window, sprig walks in to check on her. hes still rly concerned abt his big sis but he knows he cant stop her. he tries to go with anne, but she tells him she needs to do this on her own. so, sprig lets her go and tries to cover for her while shes gone.

so at this point i’ll probably give the player the choice of whose house to visit first. it doesnt rly impact the story or whatever, but i guess it might have a small emotional impact depending on whose house u choose to go to first??

(quick note: after this bit, there arent too many specific details for the plot and stuff like that. its largely just an overall idea of how the plot is gonna go. and even then, there isnt much to it. i didnt think that far ahead yet, which is why there isnt as much refinement yet. so far i just have general ideas for how annes gonna get to the bedrooms, with a couple of vague flashback ideas. just keep that in mind; this whole thing is still being thought over and planned as im typing this out)

summary - sasha

with sasha, annes still rly conflicted abt how she feels abt her. of course shes still rly hurt by being backstabbed by her twice and swordfighting her as many times. but as much as she hates sasha she cant bring herself to fully give up on sash. she hates her guts but deep down shes still willing to give sash another chance.

there may or may not be a small sequence where anne has to sneak into sashas house, but eventually she works her way into sashas room. im not entirely sure abt the details of sashas house n her family yet. im probably gonna wait for info from s3 until i solidify anything, but for now i do know that sashas family has a big house n theyre probably rich.

so anne goes into sashas room and its been left pretty much untouched ever since annes birthday, save for the few times someone came in to dust things off. again, dont rly have all the details for sashas room, but it kind of has a vibe of controlled chaos, with organized clutter and a bit of a touch of a rebellious teen girl. one detail i do want to have is a calendar opened up to the month the trio disappeared, with annes birthday circled and highlighted so much that its impossible to miss.

the calendar itself might include a flashback. im thinking of also having a varsity jacket and some old stuffed animal be different “artifacts” that trigger their own memories. there’ll be a bunch more, but those are the only ideas i have so far fjsbndnd

summary - marcy

ok so i want to be rly mean about marcys segment: this is going off the theory that marcys parents moved away while the trio was in amphibia.

anne doesnt know this yet tho, so shes in for quite a surprise when she turns onto marcys street to find a realtor sign on the front lawn. the clues are all there: an empty driveway, sign on the lawn, an overall empty vibe coming from the house. but it doesnt completely register at first. its not til anne actually comes up close does she notice the sign.

anne tries to deny it, and decides to prove to herself that “no marcys parents wouldnt do this. theyre not that cruel. im just gonna check marcys room myself.” the front doors locked, so she just goes over to marcys window and climbs in.

but its completely empty.

ok not totally empty, but a lot of marcys furniture and stuff is gone, except for a few stray toys and other “junk.” the home guys (idk what theyre called????) are still kind of in the process of cleaning everything out, so theres still some stuff left here and there around the house. but its still way too empty. and its yet another gut punch for anne.

anne searches the rest of the house a bit more, hoping that shes just hallucinating. but no, marcys parents are really gone. she tried to deny it before, but now she has more of an idea of how shitty the wu parents are. so anne decides to just mope around in marcys old room, checking out the stuff their parents left behind.

maybe she finds an old blanket marcy liked when he was rly young. or an old rubiks cube from marcys vast collection. a cnc figurine, some cards, a pride flag, and old diary? a couple of other old toys, an old report card or two, or maybe even some stray clothes. whatever anne finds, its all thats left of marcy, at least in LA.

it really doesnt leave anne in that much of a better emotional position. she already felt conflicted enough about what happened in true colors and what she found out abt marcy. but seeing even a small glimpse of what marcy was dealing with, it just makes her more confused. marcy was such a sweet kid! theres no way they couldve done anything wrong. yet here anne was, betrayed by both of her childhood friends.

only now is anne really taking the time to process the fact that marcy essentially kidnapped her and sasha with the calamity box. he didnt mean to do it, and theres no way they couldve known the box would actually work, but it doesnt completely excuse marcy. his actions still hurt anne and sash, and while they meant the best of intentions, it didnt rly come through that way.

and now marcy was dead. stabbed in the back by the newt king.

and now annes curled up in an empty bedroom, wrapped up in one of marcys old blankets, trying to wrap her head around her feelings about marcy while reminiscing in the past.

summary - extras/epilogue??

i kind of like the idea that anne ends up drifting off in which ever bedroom ended up being the second one she visited. she slowly comes back to consciousness, with her surroundings feeling somewhat familiar, only to wake up in horror bc “OH SHIT I FORGOT TO GO BACK HOME” im not completely sold on the idea tho bc it feels a bit abrupt and like too much of a tone shift?? idk it doesnt feel exactly right

but anyways, im also playing around with the idea of a small epilogue scene with the calamity trio hanging out in annes room, a good amount of time after amphibia ended. dont know what theyre doing in there, but theyre just chilling and feeling a bit nostalgic i guess.

but uh yeah thats pretty much what ive got for the overall idea. it doesnt feel too out of reach, but somethjng like this would definitely be ambitious. i could mayyyybe handle writing out the vn and drawing the character sprites, but i have no idea how to code a vn or draw detailed backgrounds, both of which would be pretty important to this fangame fjsndj. so i might consider having help with this.

THIS ISNT ANY SORT OF PROMISE OR WHATEVER. id rly love to follow through and make this fangame a thing, but im not making any guarantees. i have no idea if i’ll actually follow through, but i would definitely love to.

who knows. maybe in like a couple years this might actually become a thing. but for now i have no idea

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whatisgoingonpaul · 3 years

Text

So I rewatched with subtitles to see anything I missed and really watched the background it did not disappoint! There’s actually some great moments and lines that got hidden as they aren’t completely audible, I recommend watching with subtitles at least once however it messes up song lyrics mainly during lost in the shadows. “Sail alone though the night.” Took me out. Yes that’s the lyrics xfinity... totally. So here’s the notes or new things or general ramblings.

-The boys when flying will have high pitched bat noises or the usual “woo -hoo”

-“any jobs around here” “nothing legal.”

-Micheal tucks his shirts

-Star bringing this small ass child to a concert but laddie also dancing his ass off

-Micheal was almost Moonbeam and I think we shouldn’t keep ignoring this.

- Dwayne saying “we’re going for a ride” to Laddie.

-the Subtitles correcting “say hello to the night” to “sail alone though the night”

-When the boys rush to get Micheal from full on fighting David there is the beautiful jangle of jewelry

- the random surfboards the boys have

-Paul jumping off of the rock with Laddie “get the rock box bud.”

“Yea!”

-ive now noticed The pigeon was on Markos arm- he’s tamed a pigeon. I’m.

-the damn male model on Sams closet door?

-Paul and Dwayne eating with their fucking hands and laughing, their eyes roll back with their head. How are they not choking.

-The munsters poster behind star.

“Pretty sad.”

Things the subtitles caught but I didn’t:

- “Nice worms” (maybe Marko?)

- “That’s enough “ (they mimic star”

- “Chill out girl.” (???? One of them.)

- David whispering “get him the wine.”

-David eating noodles and drinking in a attempted suductive manner. Like my

Mans-

- it still looks like red coolaid.

- Star and laddie back away like Micheal is going to fucking explode or something?? He’s just probably high if anything

-“give me a ride Marko.” (Context: David is in the wheelchair)

-“your one of us bud” - Paul

-“let the good times roll” - Paul or Marko

- Paul whipping his jacket around, markos jacket is also loose... revealing it is not just a crop top but tanked- near sleeveless I’m screaming

- in Micheals hallucination fest it focuses on star and David. This boy has it bad...

- markos little “ye-ahh” on the bridge.

- “Bombs away.” Also Dwaynes fucking finger guns. His little finger guns my soul...

- Marko and Paul messing with each other’s legs constantly, also “yayyyy Micheal.”

- “HOw do you like it ehh?!”

- The train starts coming and Paul immediately starts to bang his head like it’s the best damn music he’s heard in his life

- The entire train scene Micheal is just yelling “JESUS CHRIST!” repeatedly lmao

- “Let GO”

- “BITCH DO WHAT?”

- I mentioned this the last time but the damn stuffed dog

- Micheal going for the milk in the fridge when there’s a full coke on the kitchen table.

- Sam literally saying “he’s flying outside the house” in the phone call

- laddie is 11.... not quite little star.

- There is a baileys bottle with a candle.

- The brothers tucking their napkins into their shirts. Adorable.

- Paul drumming on his leg

- Dwayne gets the bouncies while watching from the tree

- I like how Marko makes it a point to say “hi Micheal.” Like every time he sees him.

- I like how they all decide to pose dramatically infront of Micheal after feeding.

- Edgar changing his band from red to blue for✨ dramatics ✨

- The smell the undead or teenagers?

- As Marko is Writhing on the cavern floor you can just make out Paul’s arms trying to stop him or comfort him or something and I’m not ok -

- I’m also pretty sure is blood is maple syrup.

- “It’s not our fault they pulled a mind scramble on us! They opened their eyes and talked!” Lmao best

- “It was screaming, it was fizzing it was horrible.”

- The dive toy next to the bathtub

- Sure star. It’s you and laddie they want sure.

- Marko’s pigeon is alone.

- Does no one notice the whole thing of flying out of the cave in reverse?

- Does laddie even know what’s going on or he just go off what star tells him

- “You killed Marko!”

- “Yea and your next”

- *push* no your next!

- Paul’s fucking skeleton? Also he’s deadass “if I go out I’m taking your plumbing with me-“

- Even when it’s David alone it still sounds like a swarm of bats instead of one

- Laddie looks like a baby monkey I’m sorry but he does

- David: *Screams*

- Micheal: *voicecracks louder*

- I still can’t tell if they want the bat screeching to be a noise the boys make or apart of background music. As when they go over Maxes place(twice.) it is implied to come from them but when Micheal and David fight it’s in the background unagknowlaged

- David screams help as he is impaled, little does he know the others are already gone...

- Ok so maybe I went a little hard on max, as he does show concern and upset when looking at David, and could likely see the bits of Dwayne on the ground. His voice seams to shake slightly just as he speaks and his eyes are a bit glacey when he takes off his glances. However o do still like it better with the little bit from the script where it’s played up more.

- The scream when max is talking, I think it’s one of the boys OW.

- *twang* I haven’t changed my mind about dat.

- OK BUT THE FACT THE FROG BROTHERS HAD GOGGLES LIKE THEY EXPECTED THE EXPLOSION.

- I like that this implies that grandpa put the big stuff up in the yard purely to ram it though inro his house. He wants that ensurance money

Take a jacketless Paul:

#the lost boys #lost boys 1987 #lost boys #tlb #my boys #the boys #boys.#detail

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whats-rambled-rambled · 4 years

Text

Stuck in reverse - pt 3

Neil x Reader

Chapter 3: Bad guy

(<- see Chapter 2)

(<- see Chapter 1)

summary: you and Neil end up on an undercover mission together, but what should you do with all that free time?

warnings: alcohol consumption, blood mention, swearing

author’s note: this one surprisingly works as a standalone fic as well, I had fun writing playful banter and flirting, hope you enjoy it!

---

It was a chilly evening, but it wasn’t bothering you. You inhaled a cold air deep into your lungs.

That’s more like it.

You really enjoyed the thrill of being on a mission, when you could lock all the bullshit deep inside and just focus on a task ahead: quick undercover scout of the location, then stopping a local kingpin from acquiring some inverted materials. You could already feel all your senses sharpening, you were ready for the hunt.

You heard Neil’s footsteps behind you. You glanced over your shoulder and smirked.

“Aww, no tie?” you teased, trying not to laugh as you watched the hint of confusion on his face.

“What?”

“Nothing, you not wearing one on a..." – you cleared your throat - "...night out used to be a rare sight, that’s all.”

You didn’t mind though.

Neil blinked twice and crossed his arms. “Oh I’m sorry, should I go and change now?” He looked you up and down, a shade of smile tinted his lips. “I wouldn’t want to be under-dressed.”

“What, you don’t like my converse?” you huffed and mirrored his pose. “Hey, I enjoy a good pair of heels, just can’t save the day wearing them.”

“Fair enough,” he said and smiled, tilting his head and looking at you with those playful sparks in his eyes. “You look amazing.”

You raised one eyebrow and chuckled. “So do you. Now... shall we?”

The loud music hit you as soon as you entered the club, the bass blasting in your eardrums. While you were trying to mentally match the club’s layout from the brief to the actual location, Neil reached to his pocket for the phone. After few seconds he tapped you on a shoulder and showed you the screen with a message from Ives: “Uncle Bob is running late – looks like an hour, so have fun.”

You nodded and pointed at the bar. “Drinks?” you mouthed. No point in yelling, he couldn’t hear you anyway.

By the time you reached the counter, you already spotted eight security guards in various locations inside the hall, two of them trying to remain undercover in their civilian clothes.

Neil leaned against the bar.

“Nine,” he said, looking at you for confirmation.

You positioned yourself close to him so nobody could eavesdrop. The music was still annoyingly loud. You knew everyone entering the club was carefully examined at the entrance and that the club’s security was paying close attention to anyone behaving suspiciously, they weren’t willing to take any chances, especially that night. You were more than happy that Neil was your partner for that mission – you trusted him enough to just roll with anything the situation might require to remain unnoticed.

“Huh, I have eight, who did I miss?”

Neil gave you a half-smile.“The redhead at the end of the counter,” he said.

You didn’t even have to look at that direction, you knew exactly which one he meant. You smacked your lips, annoyed at your poor judgement.

“Damn, she’s hot,” - you nudged him lightly - “you sure she wasn’t just checking you out because of how incredibly handsome you are?”

“One hundred percent,” Neil laughed dryly.

“Nine then. Excuse me,” - you waved at the bartender to get their attention- “one gin&tonic and one vodka tonic.” You could hear Neil’s chuckle, so you shot a quick look at your partner. “Two can play that game, my dear.”

“Blimey.”

The smug expression on his face definitely made your heartbeat increase its pace. You shook your head and tried to stifle a giggle.

When your drinks arrived, you switched to a meaningless small talk, so no one would bother you while you were focused on locating things that might give you any advantage later on. There was still over half an hour of time left and you felt that you need to move to cover more ground, but you couldn’t just get up and walk around without drawing too much attention to yourself. Then you heard a familiar melody and gasped at that perfect excuse.

“Hey, wanna dance?” you grinned at Neil, your hips already swaying to the rhythm.

He pointed at his half-full drink. “Go ahead, I’ll join you in a bit.”

The dance floor was an excellent vantage point, you spotted two more guards hanging out at the back near the entrance to the VIP lounge. You let the music run through you, it almost felt like every part of your body was vibrating with that insane bass. You noticed Neil staring at you from across the room, but that only boosted your self-confidence. You knew you were good at this and it surely felt nice.

The song switched to something new, so you went back to the bar. You wanted to tease Neil about just sitting there instead of joining you but someone tapped your shoulder.

“Eyyy sexy, can I buy ya a drink?”

You turned your head and saw a guy smiling slyly from his seat. A quick look told you enough: a random stranger, pretty drunk, one of those business douches who considered themselves gods.

“No, thanks,” you replied, turning your back to him to strengthen the message.

“Come on, one drink!” he insisted. And then he grabbed your arm.

You could hear Neil’s glass clanking against a counter a bit too hard, but you were quicker. With one swift move you grabbed a toothpick from an abandoned drink next to you and pressed it against man’s thigh, hard enough for him to feel pain, but not hard enough to break the skin. He yelped and his eyes widened.

“Touch me one more time, I dare you,” your voice was dripping with sugar, but your eyes were deadly serious. “No means no, you twat, now piss off!”

The man squirmed and raised his hands in a defensive way. “Okay, okay,” he hissed and stood up. “Fucking bitch.”

You realized you were holding your breath the entire time, so you forced yourself to inhale and turned back to Neil. Your partner’s expression was a mixture of concern and amusement, so you let out a nervous laugh and ran the fingers though your hair.

“What’s wrong with those guys, I swear,” you shook your head, disgusted. You checked the time, 20 minutes.

Neil finished his drink and leaned your way. “Redhead and baldie over there have been watching the whole thing, come on,” - he said and reached out his hand - “I owe you a dance.”

You took Neil’s hand and followed him to the dance floor. You both knew you had to put on a bit of a show to keep the suspicion off your backs.

The rhythm of the song playing was a bit slower than before, the mood was heavier, made you think about a hot summer night. You could feel the bass pulsing in your veins, your heartbeat slowly getting in sync with it. Neil’s eyes found yours, you felt his gentle touch on your hand. You remembered he was a good dancer. He wasn’t a party beast, far from it, actually, but damn, seeing him move always made you swoon. That night was no different. Your bodies tuned to each other instantly, on one hand that was a familiar feeling, on the other- ...something changed, but you couldn’t put your finger on it yet, and to be honest, you didn’t really care in that moment. For the next few minutes nothing else mattered anymore, there was no mission, no past, no guilt. Only Neil and you, lost in the music, in each other’s closeness, in the rising warmth between the two of you.

Someone bumped into your back, making you lose your balance and fall into Neil’s arms.

“I've got you,” he said softly right into your ear.

His warm breath on your neck sent shivers down your spine and made you forget how to speak for a second. You pulled back to look at him and smiled, your heart singing in your chest.

With the corner of your eye you noticed a sudden change in the security’s behavior. Go time.

Neil must have seen the same thing, because he nodded and guided you back to the bar. The next few moments were crucial, but you already had a plan. You winked at Neil, took his hand and began to lightly stroke his long fingers. Then you got the bartender’s attention.

“Hey, settle this for us, we were wondering if you have any...” - you intertwined your fingers with Neil’s - “...tenets about PDA here,” you said, biting your lip at the sudden touch of Neil’s hand on your waist.

The bartender rolled their eyes and slid a glass of water your way. You could see a shiny metal object under the glass.

“Not really, but I recommend avoiding the main lobby,” they laughed and turned to the next customer.

You exchanged a quick look with Neil. So they are switching the swap location. With his hand still on your waist, he pulled you a bit closer, raising the other hand and slowly tucking a part of your hair behind your ear. That gave you enough time to get the key and hide it in his pocket.

You made your way to the toilet area of the club, where the storage was supposed to be. You maneuvered around the guards playing a tipsy couple, giggling and leaning on each other, not so different from other party couples around you. There were less people next to the storage, thank the Universe, you couldn’t proceed with the mission without getting your stuff first. Neil took the key and opened the lock, he was about to press the handle when you spotted another guard coming your way. You grabbed Neil by the front of his shirt and pulled him your way, slamming your back against the wall painfully. Your eyes locked with his. You buried your face in the crook of his neck. Neil’s hand grazed your hip, the other one, holding the key, slid behind your back. You closed your eyes so you could focus on the sound of footsteps around you, trying to tune out the overwhelming scent of Neil’s cologne.

“I think we’re clear,” he said in a husky voice.

You decided not to comment on it, focusing on leveling your own breath.

Neil entered the storage and you followed him, quickly closing the door behind you. You found your gear hidden in one of the boxes at the back of the room: a lockbox with a laptop, a pair of pistols, silencers, ammo, walkies, a backpack and two bulletproof vests. You opened the computer and ran a program, connecting it to the club’s security system and allowing it to access all the cameras in the building. Meanwhile, Neil got final instructions from Ives and checked the guns. The meeting had already begun. You watched two men carefully examining the contents of a black suitcase. There. Some of the parts dropped back into their hands. What the hell did they need it for?

Neil tossed you your vest, already equipped with everything you needed. Then you had to trigger some silent alarms to smoke the bastards out of that place, but without scaring the civilians in the club. The less people outside, the better. You tapped few command lines into the software and watched the guards outside the transaction room jump at their places, one of them going inside to alert the bosses, the other one rushing to check for the intruders.

You packed all your things to the backpack and gave it to Neil. He pushed three boxes together so you could easily reach the small window near the ceiling, allowing you both to drop in the back alley.

Clear. You jumped down quietly and ran towards the back entrance, where you expected some company. Neil was right behind you, taking cover at the other side of the door. 3...2...1.

The door opened with a loud thud and you grabbed the first man that went through them. He didn’t put up much of a fight, bless his soul.

The next one was quite a different story.

Same as all the others after him.

Next thing you knew, you were ducking into cover behind some dumpster, shots being fired in your direction.

“Just like old times, huh?” Neil laughed as he joined you a moment later, hitting his back against the dumpster. There was a moment of silence and he wanted to get up, but you grabbed his arm and shook your head.

“Wait.”

Two more shots.

Why does nobody count?

“Now!”

You focused your fire at two remaining guards while your partner ran after a guy trying to escape with the inverted materials. Poor bastard didn’t have a chance. Neil shot him in the leg long before he could reach a car parked at the end of the alley.

You made sure none of the guards remained a threat and you joined Neil near the knocked-out man.

“Took you long enough,” you said, looking around for any witnesses. Luckily, the street was empty, thanks to late hour and the work of Ives and the rest of the team, of course.

“You told me to wait!” Neil scoffed, checking out the suitcase. Everything seemed to be in place.

“And you’re welcome.”

You wiped the sweat from your forehead and hissed from the sudden pain. You looked at your fingers. Blood.

Neil jumped on his feet, clearly worried.

“Y/N, your brow...” he raised his hand as if he wanted to examine your wound, but he hesitated. He placed it on your shoulder instead and looked into your eyes. “You okay?”

You put your hand on his chest and smiled reassuringly. “I’m fine Neil, what about you?”

Neil nodded and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.

Oh.

You noticed your team’s car approaching from the distance.

(next Chapter ->)

#neil tenet #neil tenet x reader #neil x reader #tenet #robert pattinson #tenet fanfic #neil tenet fanfic #stuck in reverse

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iridescentides · 3 years

Text

i watched the ep twice bc i didnt take notes the first time BUT. hsmtmts 2.04 thoughts under the cut

gina first. my favorite part of the episode was when she admitted that she feels out of place living in someone else’s house and that she wanted a bigger part in the play. i was SO worried they were gonna just let her happily sideline herself in a “yay she learned her lesson about not being the center of attention” kind of way bc i would not be able to handle that two seasons in a row. let her be angry!!! she has a lot to be upset about

the gina/carlos conflict was awful bc theyre making carlos unreasonably annoying this season. last season he was nice, he was enthusiastic, not competitive and just rooting for other people. idk why they needed to flip him so drastically to being spoiled, rich, selfish, pushy, and bitchy. and on top of that i have not been vibing with the pieces of dialogue theyve been giving him this season just to score woke points. its so unbearably obvious that even though hes a brown gay character, he was written by a white gay person who thought, on some level, that he was giving the gen z kids the #hashtag representation they wanted. his delivery of every line that screams “remember, im mexican” is so awkward, it doesnt land well, and im begging them to stop. they want so badly to commodify his character and parade him around as a “look how diverse our show is!” thing and im so so sick of it bc you can tell, with all the surface-level pieces of dialogue, that they dont actually care at all

(”look around, theres not a lot of me at this school” we GET it, this show wants to be glee so bad)

im honestly starting to slowly ship rina less and less. in season one i loved seeing someone make gina happy, especially since she had no friends before opening up to ricky. but now its just a whole mess and i wish she would love herself a lil more to realize that its not worth all this stress. he made a choice and no amount of conflicted moments of eye contact is going to fully take that back. im not necessarily against love triangle plots, but i HATE the whole “women wait around hopefully while male character, whose decisions have already hurt multiple people, makes up his mind” bullshit

that being said, gina handled the situation like a CHAMP, im dying over how quickly she was able to mask her pain and make the joke about the twix bar. im love her

we were absolutely ROBBED of an ej/big red performance this episode!!! i am at my LIMIT we better get gaston next week or i will riot

on the ej train, him not getting into duke was extremely predictable. we all kinda saw that coming and knew that would be his main point of growth this season. im glad they didnt wait super long to do it. now please @ writers i am BEGGING you to give my man more screen time than one scene per episode

its very odd that they keep making mr mazzara have emotionally tough conversations with the students. i will do a parallel gifset of those once the season ends. i liked his convo with ej for the most part, but he really didnt have to beat him over the head with the “youre an emotionless robot” thing again. its clear ej is gonna throw himself into av club or whatever (even though at the end of last season that was supposed to be big red?) and discover that he has a lot going for him. because he does, he literally has everything going for him, thats why they had to make his “problem” not knowing himself. bisexual ej caswell ftw

i love the parallels between ej and nini this episode? i think since the beginning ive felt that there was a lot about them under the surface that was similar. it was interesting seeing ej tell nini about duke first, instead of the obvious choice of ashlyn. i wouldve loved to see how that scene wouldve gone with ricky, gina, carlos, or big red though bc each reaction and attempt at comforting him wouldve been so different. i didnt love that nini had to be pulled away from the conversation, but im glad they can still talk to each other after everything that went down. and i love the juxtaposition of ej’s convo with mazzara directly following nini’s convo with miss jenn bc theyre essentially the same.

speaking of, i loved miss jenn in this episode. her stories are always so funny, but i loved seeing her care so much for nini and guide her, like a teacher. i loved how she pointed out that everyone who loves nini just wants her to be happy

im glad nini is leaving yac bc there was no good way to keep that up honestly. but im pretty annoyed that they were so obvious about it? like, they immediately made it the worst place in the world without exploring it very much. the place is super unrealistic, ive never been to drama school but im sure it wouldnt be like that. no creative arts place for KIDS would be so impossibly limiting. plus the weird bluish coloring in comparison to the nice warm tones of the rest of the show was, again, a dead giveaway. why send her to the school at all if it wasnt even gonna matter?

even though im glad nini left yac, im NOT looking forward to the way miss jenn is about to bend over backwards to put her in the play somehow. she plays obvious favorites and im so annoyed

(sidenote: nini just? decided to leave yac without consulting her parents??? ummm)

granted is a very good song, one of my faves so far

ricky deciding to tell nini he wants her to stay was stupid. what did he think that would accomplish? who in their right mind would drop out of a good school for you?

i loved when nini said yac was missing something, and miss jenn said “ricky” and nini said “you.” that was so so sweet and cute

i think the kourtney/howie thing is gonna grow on me. i hate amatonormativity so im not a big fan of them introducing a whole ass character exclusively so kourtney can have a love interest, but i loved the gesture he made of bringing her the pizzas and her flashcards. i feel like kourtneys love language is acts of service, and she was literally this meme when he did that for her:

i liked seeing ashlyn try to be there emotionally for gina! i want more of them together

overall this episode was okay. not enough songs, and i wish they were spreading out the emotional conversations through the season instead of packing them all into literally one episode, but what we did get was pretty good.

after watching the preview i see that next weeks episode is gonna be about carlos’s party, and i love party episodes. BUT i hope that after that ep we finally get an advancement on the north high stuff! i dont give too many fucks about lily, but i wanna see my son asher angel

#me @ myself every time i write one of these: we GET it youre a gina and ej stan #hsmtmts lb #hsmtmts spoilers #txt #waffle words of wisdom

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haknew · 3 years

Text

anon asked: I HAVE SONG RECS :DDD I tried not to do songs that you would have obviously heard before but a lot of the songs here are still popular but I couldn’t help but add them 😭

AHHHH thank you so so so so much for all the recommendations anon ! your taste is absolutely impeccable !!! i think i vibed with a lot of these maybe we are a bit similar ^~^ and no worries about your picks ! i totally support you and your incredible music taste no need to defend yourself :p ! popular songs can still be good ones ! thank you again and i tried ... to ... get through them all i’m so sorry JHGFDJHGDK you’ll see i get through like ... half and then ran out of energy T^T i’ll probably get back to this list some other time when i have free time and update with thoughts ! thank you for sending so many in ! i found so many new songs to add to my playlist heh thank you lovely !

Pop

cherry by rina sawayama - super cute ! i love these kinds of pop songs it’s right up my alley :o !

xs by rina sawayama - her voice is so well suited for this style ! i watched the mv and djkfhskgrjf HHH idk she gives me mitski vibes even tho their music is pretty different, you have peaked my interest i’ll definitely look into more of her stuff :o !

comme de garçons by rina sawayama - the bass line T^T !!! the talk-y (?) parts are so good i got chills, it’s like a rave song low key haha :p ! it’s so good !

Any song by Rina Sawayama 😭 - yes yes i’ll try to look more into her stuff !

Kpop

123 by nct dream - i’m only an honorary guest of ncity but one of my irls ults them ! and dream’s music has always been a bit more my speed :o ! this has more nostalgic kpop vibes to it ! i said this before but i really am more a pop person at heart and this is so good ^~^

Up to you by pretty much and nct dream (HAECHANS PART HHHHH) - oooh are you a haechan stan 0v0 i like jaemin tho i admit my knowledge of dream is limited (my fren ults renjun heh) also yes yes consent is very important kids u.u dskjghkdfj YOU’RE RIGHT THO haechan is a singer he SINGS, i love the vocal harmonies !

Oasis by crush ft zico - those electric keyboard synths (?) amazing ! this song bops u.u

Moon by everglow - !!! i actually have heard this a lot before ^~^ i got so excited when i saw this bc it’s so good ! it’s definitely one of my fav everglow songs too i think i overplayed it a lot when it first came out *v*

Woowoo by dia - i love the ocean wave sounds ! that’s so cool i love how summery it is ! it kind of reminds me of loona too ! ggs are just >>> i love the fun and brighter pop songs so much 🥺

Secret garden by Oh My Girl - i’ve heard a few songs by omg ! and i really like a handful of them, secret garden kinda gives me early gfriend songs vibes too ! it’s so pretty ! i really love when songs utilize strings in their instrumentals too ! it’s a bit slower paced too which is really nice ^~^

Page by got7 - YEEEES okie actually maybe unpopular opinion but spinning top is one of my fav got7 albums ! i used to listen to the whole mini on repeat ! i actually used to ult got7 too for a few months heh ^^ BUT YEEES i love page ! got7 always have bangers love them so much

Nekkoya by produce 48 - AHHHHH ANOTHER SONG I LOVE !!! i’m actually a wizone haha :p so i’ve seen produce 48 ! tho admittedly it probably contributes to my burning h*tred for mn*t and any survival shows ;;;; but i loved the title song so much ! i used to unironically play it on repeat djghskfj

Puzzle moon by gwsn - AHHHH YOUR TASTE !!! i also followed gwsn from debut and puzzle moon is so so so cute ! it’s such a bop too ! they have such fun and catchy songs !

Goblin by sulli - ahhh the xylophone chimes ! they make the song sound a bit haunting before the piano comes in ;;;; it really reflects the mv story so well i think ;;; and sulli’s voice is so beautiful ;;;; it’s got that characteristic background vocal harmonies that sm artists usually do and it’s just really beautiful !

What are you up to by kang daniel - today on can you tell jess is unfortunately a bg stan daniel’s songs have been so good :,)) i stopped following all the wanna ones closely after a while but ! he always surprises me ! his songs are such vibes u.u

Best day ever by yeri and nct dream - the TRUMPETS YEEES it’s so upbeat and fun !!! the cheering is so cute i love it !

Hair in the air by yeri and nct dream - JAEMINNNNN !!!! I LOVE YERI SO MUCH PLEASE ! i love the vocal harmonies between her and the boys 🥺 it’s so cute T^T ! renjun’s a singer HE SINGS

119 by nct dream - ah yes this is ncity brand u.u LOL they always have really filled chorus instrumentals and use a lot of vocals to fill up the space which i think is really cool and something i think immediately screams sm artist :0 ! i think renjun’s voice really sells this for me tho HIS VOICE IS AMAZING him and haechan yeees it’s a banger tho :,)

Save me save you by wjsn - i love wjsn’s music so much ! it sounds so magic and ethereal and totally bops ! their voices are so beautiful too and work together so well and i think this song’s style really suits all the members’ voices so well too !

Loonatic by loona - YEEEEES loona are my ult gg ! and oec is probably my fav unit in terms of music ! i have spent many a day playing their whole discography ! haha :3

Up by izone - MY GIRLS ! yes yes up is so cute ! i love it so much ! the choreo is so cute too ! i love izone please ;;;;

N/s by stray kids - oh boy okie ;;;; i’m like not a good judge of a lot of hip hop / more rap heavy songs ;;;; bc i was classically trained as a singer in choir ;-; so i’m sorry i do not have much to say about this one ;;;; it slaps tho ! i probably wouldn’t listen to it normally if you hadn’t recommended it tho so ! good to listen to smth outside of my normal preferences

Sunshine by straykids - OH very very different from the last skz song KJHGKFJHKD yea this is probably more my speed i’m so sorry LOL T-T it’s so good tho :o ! i don’t listen to a lot of skz bc i figured i wouldn’t be able to vibe with them but this one is so good i really like it ! skz and ateez man i’ve been trying to stan for ages but music is a big part of why i stan /stan/ certain groups more seriously and it’s also why i’m only honorary nctzen lol clearly i have been enlightened (literally *looks at my past ult groups* yeaaaa)

Blueprint by stray kids - YEEES IT’S SO UPBEAT ! i love upbeat and brighter songs (i am consistent like this T-T) it’s got summery tropical vibes to it too ! it’s so cute !

Question by stray kids - another banger yeeeees ! i vibe with the lyrics too u.u love that

Any mixtape by stray kids (but I really love 1 and 4) - oooh i still have a lot to get through so i’ll save these for my own time haha ^^

I’m your girl by khan

Revolution by Alexa

Secret by wjsn

I wanna be by key and soyeon

Handle it by twice

Teenager by got7

Take by jus2 (CANNOT RECOMMEND THIS ENOUGH)

Bump bump by woodz

Stylish by loona - this is one of my fav loona b sides yeeees !!!! love them so much !

Outta my head by somi

Jpop

showersnow by orbit

show off by orbit

crazy love by orbit

any orbit song ngl 😭

poison girl by nanaka suwa

lost umbrella (I like the tsukishima kei version cause it sounds like lee know :DDD)

Notice by moe shop

Kawaki wo ameku (domestic girlfriend opening)

The day by porno graffiti (my hero academia opening 1)

Odd future by uverworld (my hero academia opening 4)

Again by yui (full metal alchemist brotherhood opening 1)

More English music

Luxury by azalea banks (Ive heard she’s said some terrible things tho 😭 WHY DOES IT SLAP)

Hurricane by Bridget Mendler (I miss this song and ready or not too 😭)

Little dark age by mgmt

I got a couple one direction recs bear with me here 💀

Happily, Magic, AM, 18, Tell Me a Lie, Through The Dark, Wolves, Night Changes, Better Than Words

Hip-hop/rnb

Leaked by lil tjay

Pretty little fears by 6lack and j cole

Water by joe gifted

The London by young thug

Bands by shoreline mafia

Swervin by a boogie wit a hoodie

Father stretch my hands pt 1 by Kanye west

More English music (indila is French)

Northern lights by kennie

I am not a robot by marina

Tourner dans le vide by indila

Parle a ta tete by indila

Greek tragedy by the wombats

Viva la vida by Coldplay (SHHHHH DONT ROAST ME)

La da dee by Cody Simpson (SHH IT MAKES ME HAPPY 😭)

Move your body by loving caliber and anders lystell (this ones good to make u feel like an early 2010’s movie protagonist :D)

Mariposa by Peach tree rascals

Sunflower by post Malone and swae lee (like many songs on here it’s popular but I still wanna put it here cause they make me happy 😭)

I got really carried away sorry I hope you haven’t heard too many of these 😭😭 OKAY BYEEE ❤️

#anon #jess.replies #not tbz #jess.text #ask games #shared songs hour #oh god i am so so sorry anon i swear i'll get to all the others on my own time T-T #i just underestimated all the asks i was going to get with recs and i can feel my energy fading #''faded in my last song~~~'''#i know i said i'd get around to all of them but it's nearing two am djgdkjfhg I'M SO SORRY #i'll come back to this list and update it with thoughts if i have time :o !#so what have we learned today kids ... jess does not have taste whatsoever #also also that ggs >>>>>>#i'm sorry to all my stay friends <///3 truly i have no taste u.u

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optimistic-dinosaur-nacho · 4 years

Text

Chapter XIV

Warnings: Murder, Mentions of Murder, Language, Death, Car Crash

Summary: Y/N is Andy and Laurie Barber’s 14-year-old daughter who is a high-grade student in Archer Middle School. Her best friend, Alice Miller had been gone for a while. They search for the lost student and find out that Alice Miller’s body has the prints of Andy and Laurie Barber’s daughter, Y/N.

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X Chapter XI Chapter XII Chapter XIII Chapter XIV

—DEFENDING JACOB SPOILERS—

Last Chapter of Imprisoned Series

I want to thank for those who read through this journey and this is one of my favorite series because I love Andy Barber and daughter fics. It breaks my heart.

This is ending how it is. Different ending to Defending Jacob. I’m sorry people...

~~~

From a time that felt like forever, the police eventually found Nathan. The boy was wrapped up in a blanket, shivering as they guided him into the lobby. “Nathan!” His mother called.

And that night, everyone was relieved. But Andy and Laurie had cut the trip short, skipping the last three days. So the family was free to go, packing up their things and left Mexico. Heading back to Massachusetts.

But Laurie had changed that day. Once they got home, she started to unpack, being quiet throughout the whole trip back. Andy came up to check on her, knowing that the night before she knew it all.

Andy leaned on the door frame and looked at her, he then lowered his head. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“No,” She said. Andy looks up to her, “When then?” Laurie continued to pull out the folded clothes. “I don’t know. Maybe never.” Turning around, she headed for the closet, putting the clothes away as Andy stood there for a few more seconds before turning away.

Everything seemed to go back to the usual quiet mornings. Laurie’s usual jog around the neighborhood. Y/N with her teacher, learning ninth grade for high school. Who knew if Y/N could return back to school. They didn’t get a single call from the principal nor anyone in town.

That morning, Laurie returned after her morning run and Andy watched her come in from the upstairs window.

Milo hears the door open and shut close, jumping up to his feet he greets Laurie as she entered the kitchen.

Not seeing that Y/N’s teacher had smiled up at her and watched Y/N write things down on her paper. Laurie didn’t greet either of them, instead she walked over to the fridge and took the bottle of water to drink.

Seeing Y/N from the dining table, she stared. Knowing Andy’s father had ask a man to kill Patz for him to take the blame for Alice’s murder. Laurie then had no doubt. Doubt that Y/N was innocent.

Laurie imagine what they would do if they found out that Patz was murdered. The night when Y/N came up to the little girl at the bowling alley. Raising a ball twice her weight. The knife shown in court by Logiudice. The story Derek had read that was so similar to the murder.

Y/N raises her head up at Laurie and makes a sheepish grin before turning back to her work. Not a single twitch in Laurie’s face did she smile. It was a cold, longing stare.

Andy thought to finish packing up the books and games off the shelves in the living room. Slipping them into the boxes. He looks through them and slid them into the box. Taking a board game in hand, he stares at it. The memories with Chutes & Ladders he grins.

His head turns to see Laurie stand, already dressed to go out. “I have to run some errands,” She mumbles. Andy looks at her attire and nods, “Okay.” He looks down at the board game, “Hey, remember this?” He shows her the game with a grin. Giving her some small memory to make her grin.

But Laurie didn’t.

“I’ll be back later.” Andy’s grin slowly falls as she turns her heel and walks out of the room. The sound of the door closing made him look back at the game. He placed the box on top of the bigger one. Taking another game in hand, it was the Othello.

He softly grins and stands up.

“Have you just been secretly honing your Othello skill?” Andy asks, watching Y/N put down her disc and flips the others. Andy was leaning on his elbows, watching her fingers flip his over in defeat. He couldn’t do much. “It’s all about taking the corners. You taught me that,” She grins.

“Jesus,” Andy mumbles, taking a disc in his palm. Andy stared at the board, looking for a move. Maybe find some strategy. “Where’d you say Mom went again? I’m kind of hungry.”

Andy finds a spot and reached over, “She just went to grab a few things, she’ll be back in a few.” He flips over her discs colors. Y/N picks hers up and placed it next to his, claiming his color as her own. “What’s going on with her?” She asked.

Andy peers up at her, “What do you mean?”

He watched her shrug, “She just seems really... I don’t know. Quiet. It’s worrying me a little bit.” Andy takes his disc and sighs, “Well, she’s got a lot on her mind. You know, packing and the move.” He pauses for a moment knowing Laurie has been off since. He knew she would never talk to him. As if she took his spot from the beginning. Shutting him out now. Keeping things from him.

He shook the thought, “I think we just gotta give her time.”

Y/N peers up at him with worry, sitting there in silence as Andy lifts up his head to look at her. Seeing her worried look, “What?” He asks. Y/N shook her head and nods, “Nothing. It’s your turn.”

Andy twirls the disc in his fingers and looked at the board, searching for spots to beat the game. But he shook his head, “I can’t find a move.” Y/N looks up and inhales sharply, “It’s ‘cause you don’t have one.”

That night, Andy figured to help Y/N with dinner since Laurie hadn’t return the time they expected her, too. So he found something and Y/N went to bed. Andy took the rest of the night to pack in his office downstairs. Slipping things into the box, Milo had been sitting at his desk, watching him put everything in the dark boxes.

Andy reaches over and rubs Milo’s head. Suddenly, the back door opens and Milo rushes over, greeting who had came through the doors. Andy stopped and tried to peak over into the hall to see Laurie pass by, slightly pushing Milo away as she heads for the steps. “Laurie?” He called, standing up from his desk, he walks around and leans on the wall.

“I didn’t know you were down here,” Laurie says.

“Yeah,” Andy sighs, “Lot of stuff to go through.” Laurie nodded up at him and gestures to the stairs, “I was gonna go to bed.” Andy softly whispers an ‘okay’, Laurie turns around.

“Y/N’s been wanting to get a haircut. If you want, I can take her tomorrow. Besides, I need to do something for Milo as well at the vet. Needed for shots,” Andy says.

“No, I can go,” Laurie says.

“You sure? I don’t mind doing it,” Andy asked. Laurie shook her head, “No, I know what to tell them.”

“Okay,” Andy said. Laurie takes a step towards the stairs till Andy spoke again, “I think she’s worried about you.” Laurie turns. “So am I,” He added. Laurie walks forward and slightly threw her arm out, “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Nothing. Just...” He sighs, “It’s like living with a ghost. I don’t know if you’re punishing me or--”

“I’m not,” Laurie says.

“Then what is it?” He asked, drawing his eyes back up to her, brows together in worry. Laurie’s fingers rub against each other sheepishly. Andy shook his head at the slightest, “The way that you look at her...”

Laurie turns away form his gaze. “I’m just trying to figure out how to move on from here,” He says.

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?” She asks. Andy inhales softly, “Laurie...” He mutters, lowering his head, “If you just want to take some time... by yourself, the move can wait. Just want to get away and... decide what you wanna do.”

“Maybe,” She mutters. Andy nods, “Okay. Whatever you need. I mean it.” Laurie takes this time to turn away, taking her feet up the stairs.

“I love you, Laurie,” Andy says.

She stops.

“I know that might not mean much,” He says, looking up to her, “But I do.” Laurie didn’t look at him one last time and stood there in silence. Laurie takes the stairs up leaving Andy there to watch her go. With no return with the same affection.

Y/N jumped in the car with Milo in the back and her in the passenger seat. Laurie sat behind the wheel. It was raining in the morning and Y/N figured the ride would be a long but short ride, so she drew out her phone and played some videos.

Laurie shook her head, “I’m trying to remember.” Y/N tilts her head, not glancing up at her, “Hm?”

“Last year, when it was all happening... I don’t think I ever just asked you. Not directly.” Y/N didn’t seem to be phased by the ways Laurie spoke to her. A cold tone but Y/N managed to grin at the screen in her lap.

“I guess I was just scared of what they might do to you. But they can’t hurt you now. No one can,” Laurie spoke. A truck passes by and it makes a loud clank sound of its trailers crashing against each other as they pass.

Andy started to continue to clean up the place, taking books and DVDs down from the shelf in the living room. He tossed old papers and noticed that he missed the bag. He walks over and picks up the papers that had fallen. He tosses them in the bag and stops to see something familiar in the garbage.

Taking it in hand, he sees the blue photo album with a picture of Y/N when she was first taken home. He wondered why this was in the garbage. He never would’ve thrown it in the garbage.

Why would Laurie?

“Still, would you have told me the truth? If I promised to love you no matter what, would you tell me?” Y/N doesn’t respond and softly laughs at the video. “Y/N,” Laurie says. Y/N still doesn’t look at Laurie as she replies with the same hum.

“Did you kill Alice?” Laurie asks. Y/N lifts up her head and turns to her, completely taken by it, “What?” Laurie’s phone began to buzz and Y/N finally had her gaze focused on Laurie.

“No. You know I didn’t.” Y/N sees her decline Andy’s call. “What if I said I don’t believe you?” She asked, not buying Y/N’s innocent look and her stare.

“What?” Y/N mumbles.

“A man died, Y/N,” Laurie says, “You don’t know this, but a man was murdered so that you could go free.” Y/N sees Andy call Laurie again, “So I have to know,” She says.

“Know what?” Y/N asked, Laurie looked agitated, “Did you kill Alice? Just tell me the truth-”

“I did tell you. What’s wrong with you?” Y/N flips out. Milo began to growl and bark, making it ring in Y/N’s ears.

“-I will love you no matter what,” Laurie says, she shakes her head to his reply, “I don’t believe you.” Y/N heard her car was making a loud humming noise causing her to shake. “Mom… Mom, you’re driving too fast.”

“Why would you write that story?” Laurie asks.

“Mom, slow down,” Y/N says, the shaking was audible in her voice. “All the details, the little things,” Laurie completely ignores her pleads. “I made it up. Slow down!” Y/N replies.

She shook her head again, “I don’t think you did. I’m sorry. If I just knew the truth,” She said. Y/N held onto the door as she sees the miles go up.

“I made it up! Just slow down!” Y/N says, her eyes burning up with tears and stared up the road, “Mom, slow down!”

“If I only knew what happened!” Her eyes tear up. Y/N whips towards her, “Fine! I killed her, okay?” Y/N shouts. Milo barks like the sound of thunder, his stance was going back and forth in the backseat.

Laurie turns in shock, “You did?” Y/N turns away as the tears filled in her eyes, “Whatever you want! Just slow down, please, you’re freaking out Milo,” Laurie turns back to the road, not slowing down. “I want the truth!”

“Slow down! Slow down, Mom!’ Y/N screams.

Laurie never slows down and continues to floor the gas. “But I’ll never know, will I?” Laurie asks, “I will never know.” She shook her head. “Slow down, mom! Please, please, please!” Y/N tugs on her seat belt, reaching for Milo for some contact of touch.

Laurie sobs, “I can’t do it anymore, Y/N.”

“You sound crazy! Mom, you’re scaring me!” Y/N cries, “Stop!” Laurie chokes a sob, “I love you. I love you and your father both.”

Y/N turns to her, “Mom!” Laurie sees tunnel come into view and Y/N watched as Laurie turns the wheel. And the car crashes into the wall.

“I need to ask you again.”

Andy held his head in his hand, rubbing his temples.

“Why isn’t Laurie here today?” Andy doesn’t respond as Neal looks down at him. “On February 22, nearly six weeks ago, you received a call from the Massachusetts State Police. Is that correct? You were told that there had been an accident.”

Andy continued to rub his forehead. “That Laurie and Y/N were in a car that had gone off the road. That both mother and daughter had been rushed to the intensive care unit of Newton General. Your dog, Milo was included in that accident, they said he didn’t make it.”

The images of the accident was not pretty. Neal didn’t want to push it, “The officer explained that there were no other cars involved. That there were witnesses, other drivers, who saw your wife’s car swerve suddenly off the road.”

Andy inhales shakily, “She was speeding...” He mutters.

“I’m sorry?” Neal asked.

Andy drops his hand, “I said she was speeding. It was raining, and she was driving too fast.”

Neal looks down confused, “None of these witnesses reported seeing any attempt by the driver to right the vehicle or apply the brake.” Andy needed Neal to stop with these statements and he needed to defend her. So he snapped, “She was speeding, and she lost control.”

“Did she? Lose control?” Neal asked.

“That’s not what I meant-”

“Joanna Klein, Y/N’s prior attorney told investigators that she received two missed calls from your wife between the hours of 4: 00 and 5: 00 a.m. on the morning of the crash. Both hang-ups. Why do you suppose she was trying to get in touch with Y/N’s attorney?”

Andy shook his head, “I don’t know. Joanna is a friend,” He said. “Is Elizabeth Vogel a friend?” Neal asks, “Phone records show that there was a call from Laurie;s phone to Dr. Vogel’s office at 3: 18 a.m. This sounds to me like a woman who was distraught. Did she get any sleep at all that night?”

Andy doesn’t respond. “Andy,” Neal says sternly, “You said you wanted the truth to come out, but you’re not telling the truth-”

“Yes, I am. It was an accident,” Andy almost growls.

Andy kept his head low. “You would do anything for your daughter, I know that. No matter how painful. Help us,” Neal says, “Help us deliver justice. That’s all we want. Justice for Y/N. For you.”

“It was not an accident,” Neal said, ��She tried to kill her daughter. Your daughter,” Neal leans forward and Andy turns his head to the jury,

I understand why you don’t want to help us. But Y/N is owed justice. Nobody here blames you, Andy. You’re a victim, but you need to be strong.”

Neal watches as Andy kept his eyes low on the table, “Andy.” The man’s fingers twitch and he never moved his gaze, “She was speeding. It was raining. And it was an accident.”

Neal leaned off the table and looked over to the jury. He ended it from there. Wanting them to vote.

That morning, Andy took his car to the Newton General Hospital. Signing in the paper, the woman hands him a tag and he heads on in. Watching as the nurse steps away from Laurie, he slowly walks over and pulls out a chair.

He gently takes her hand and held it, “So?” She asks. Andy softly grins, “They voted. No bill.”

“What does that mean?”

Andy sighs, “It means no indictment. They know it was an accident.” Laurie lets out a huff and Andy raises her hand and places a kiss on her knuckles. Laurie looks at him and shook her head, “I just wanted our family back.”

Andy looks up, stroking his thumb over her knuckles, “So do I.”

Laurie blinks, “I keep trying to remember that day.” Andy shook his head, “Don’t. It was an accident. That’s all it was,” He looks at her, “It was just an accident.” He raises from his chair and places a kiss on her forehead, gently stroking her hair. “Try to get some rest.”

Laurie watches him, “Will you go see her?” Laurie asked. Andy grins and nods. “I will. Always will.” He gives her one last grasp on her hand before leaving.

Andy walks down the hall and out to his car. He drove out out of the parking lot. Glancing over to his side, he sees the flowers that had laid on the passenger seat.

He reached the field and takes the flowers.

The cold breeze struck him as he come across the field. Flowers and green grass everywhere. He stops and looks down at the ground. A clean marbles slate on the ground with her name carved.

Y/N Barber.

Slowly, he took a knee and placed the flowers below her name. His hand gently touches the stone. Dropping his head low, he thinks of the conversations he had with her. The laughs and drives.

Pulling his hand back, he kneels there for the next hour. Until he headed back home with his own takeout. It was nighttime once he got there. Dropping his coat on the counter, he pours himself a glass of whiskey.

Drinking that with his food at the table. In the dark. The silence throughout the house was depressing. Lonely. Andy took his fourth glass and walked upstairs. Stepping into Y/N’s room. The moonlight shined through her window as he entered her room.

He sat down on the edge of her bed and saw the dog toys that were still needed to be packed. Milo and Y/N’s things still remained in this room. Even her posters on her walls. Andy only stared in front of him.

Andy pulls the glass to his lips. Taking the last drop of his glass before sitting in her room for the next hours.

End.

~~~

Imprisoned Tags:

@ssebstann @irishfaulk97 @avengerswon @wandascarlett @marvelouspottering @sophieelizebeth-01

[Completed Series]

Official Tags:

@jtargaryen18 @joannaliceevans-fanficblog @chrisevans-imagines @elliee1497 @ifuseekamyevans @captain-a-rogerss @donutloverxo @iguessweallcrazyithinktho @stop-obsessing-over-those-actors @axen-gers @patzammit @bucksgoat @la-cey @lovepeacefood @mcntsee @void-hoechlin @rororo06 @mllzhxrrz44

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haltandcatchfiretothemax · 3 years

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FEMSLASH FEBRUARY 2021 #5: In which Donna’s wish is Cameron’s command

[CN: food, eating mentions, and descriptions of food displays]

After Donna asked her if she might consider putting up Valentine’s Day decorations for February of 2021, Cameron went directly into research mode. She didn’t plan to admit it to Donna, but Cameron felt like a holiday decor project was exactly what she needed. From the comfort of the living room couch, Cameron began her hunt for useful information on her laptop.

She became frustrated much more quickly than she thought she would. Eyebrows scrunching behind the frames of her reading glasses, Cameron griped, “Okay so the first problem here, is that the origin of Valentine’s Day isn’t anywhere near as compelling as the origin of Halloween, or ghost stories. I mean, a Christian martyr? Really?” Wrinkling her nose skeptically, she scrolled further down the webpage she was on, and said, “Not only am I not moved by his story or his proselytizing, but none of this has anything to do with love or couples or even fertility or family!” Clicking back to the search engine page, she said, “The second problem is that doing research used to be satisfying, but now it sucks. And it’s all because of the internet. We ruined everything with the internet and search, Donna.”

Donna, sitting several feet away on their recliner, looked up from her crossword puzzle. “So, no decorations then?”

Cameron sighed. “I didn’t say that. I just think that I’m gonna have to take a different approach. The literal origins of the holiday are not the angle for this particular project.” Quietly, she switched over to researching the origins of the commercial version of the holiday. “Maybe,” she said to herself, “a more aesthetic-based approach?” She looked up at Donna, and said, “Do you mind if I turn on the tv and stream something? I was thinking about putting on the more recent Picnic at Hanging Rock.”

“Oh, that’s perfect! That literally starts on Valentine’s Day!” Donna enthused. “We should sit down and rewatch it sometime in the next couple weeks!” Then, calming herself down, she added, “But sure, go ahead. Whatever your research requires,” Donna smiled at her.

Cameron picked up the remote, turned on the television, searched for the show, found it, and started the first episode. She went back to looking at her computer, and searched for basic decor ideas. After a few minutes, she said, “The third problem is that traditional Valentine’s decorations are just, like, red. Like really, extremely red.”

“What’s wrong with red?” Donna pouted.

“Nothing, but I just don’t feel like it really goes with the whole ‘I throw stones and I live in glass houses because I’m a modern woman who has it all!’ thing you have going on in here?”

“Hey, it’s your house, too!” Donna chuckled. “You have a point, though.”

Defiantly, Cameron said, “That’s okay. I will figure something out. My wife asked me to decorate for Valentine’s Day, and I don’t plan to let her down.”

Cameron spent the next morning sorting through their collection of fall and winter holiday decorations, and pulled out items to be repurposed, and wound up looking through their other supplies for inspiration. In the afternoon, she was back on the computer, searching this time for items to buy. Sitting at the kitchen island, Cameron sighed heavily. “I wish…” she started. She sighed again, and said, “I really wish that we could just go to a craft store and wander through it for hours.”

Donna, who has sitting across from her, and scrolling through one of her social media feeds, looked up, and snorted, “What, so you could complain about how everything looks ugly and cheap under the fluorescent lights, only to then buy a ton of it, take it home, and then somehow make it look beautiful and amazing?”

“Yes,” Cameron replied. “Exactly.” It took over an hour, and much agonizing, but eventually, she made her selections, entered her billing information, and closed her browser. She managed to stay offline for the rest of the day.

Early the next morning, Cameron asked Donna, “A great big outdoor garden store, that should be like…relatively safe to go to, right? As long as we wear our masks and gloves? And we go early?” Donna didn’t have to be asked twice. They got dressed, and arrived at their favorite garden store a few minutes after it opened. Cameron hurriedly bought a large quantity of potted violets and a bunch of metal flower pots before hustling Donna back to the safety of their car.

Over the next few days Cameron began to work on crafting, baking, and candymaking, as deliveries of her ordered craft supplies started to trickle in. (She compulsively wiped every new item down with disinfectant out of an abundance of anxiety and caution.) By the next weekend, she had everything she thought she needed. On the first Saturday of the month, a week before Valentine’s Day, she gathered everything that she’d amassed so far in the dining room.

She set the last of several boxes down on the table, and Donna, who was drinking a second cup of coffee, looked up just in time to see Cameron tying her bandana around her head like a headband. The bandana, which had accompanied Cameron all the way from Tokyo, was white, and it had the red circle of the Japanese flag, or the Hinomaru, on it. On both sides of the red circle there was lettering, Japanese kanji. The first time Donna saw Cameron put the bandana on, just before they deep cleaned Donna’s house together for the first time, she had asked Cameron what the kanji said. Gravely, through gritted teeth, Cameron had replied, “Kamikaze.” Donna had laughed, and then realized that she was being serious.

Putting down her mug, Donna exclaimed, “Daniel-san!”

Cameron took a deep breath, and said, “I’m trying to center myself and focus, Donna. Please.”

“I’m flattered by all the work you’ve already put into honoring my request,” Donna said. “But I think I’m gonna go upstairs so you can decorate in peace. I’d like to be surprised when I see the final result!” She stood up, taking her mug and phone with her, and headed toward the den, stopping to kiss Cameron on the cheek on her way.

When Donna returned to the kitchen several hours later to make lunch, the dining room table was covered in silk flowers, jars, doilies, and print outs and paper lace and all sorts of colorful paraphernalia. “How’s it going?” she called out.

“Slowly,” Cameron answered, “but it’s going. And it’s not like I’ve got anywhere to be, so!”

She took a quick break to eat a sandwich with Donna, and then went back to the dining room, and Donna went up to the bedroom, where she checked in with Joanie and Haley and their families, sent text messages to Tonya, Risa, and Katie Herman, and then started reading about current tech and social media platform news. She was clicking out of an article on Section 230 reform when Cameron knocked on the door frame.

Looking up from their bed, Donna asked, “Is it done? Can I see?” She jumped up from the bed and ran toward the door.

“I need you to adjust your expectations,” Cameron said, walking her down their hallway. Cameron stopped by the door to the den and switched on the light. Donna peered in, not seeing any difference at first, and then she noticed the faux ivy that Cameron had carefully attached to their bookcases. She stepped into the room, and then noticed the doilies on every surface, and the mason jars of high-quality pink and white silk peonies, which were surrounded by cards from a Victorian-themed tarot deck, which Cameron had stuck down to the doilies under them, to make them look as if they’d casually been left on the table. There were two sets of gloves by one jar, an aged-looking leather diary by another one, and a small framed print of a hand-drawn portrait of two Gibson girls by another.

“It’s subtle, or subtle-ish,” Donna smiled back at Cameron, “but it’s really nice. It’s very Picnic at Hanging Rock, but with maybe a better adjusted headmistress, right? I love it.”

They went down the hall and down the four steps to the ‘first’ floor, and then into the kitchen, where Donna’s eye was drawn to the centerpiece Cameron had arranged on the island. She’d repotted the violets into three of the metal pots, and had made and cut out a silhouette of two young women in full-length Victorian dresses, hand in hand, attached them to skewers, and stuck them into the flower pots. It looked almost as if the girls were walking through a field of purple-blue flowers.

Donna went to smell the flowers, only to be distracted by the display on the dining room table. Eyes wide, she instead walked toward the table. She turned to look back at Cameron and said, “Did you make all of this?”

“No, some if it I definitely ordered off the internet,” Cameron admitted. She’d set up an elegant silver multi-tiered pastry stand and loaded it with paper cups full of homemade white and milk chocolate truffles and squares of peppermint bark that had red and pink swirled into them, squares of milk, dark, and peanut butter fudge, bite sized anatomical hearts molded from red-tinged milk chocolate, and red cinnamon candies, cherry sours, and raspberry flavored hard candies. Next to the pastry stand was Donna’s trusty cake server, which was piled with red velvet crinkle cookies. Both were set up on top of large doilies, underneath their accompanying glass covers, and both were surrounded with red silk flower petals and an eye-catching design of heart and diamond and playing cards, all of which Cameron had somehow sewn down so that it would lay flat, but somehow still look slightly rumpled.

“Remember a few years ago when we did Penny Dreadful Halloween for the trick-or-treaters? During our Vanessa Ives phase? A lot of that stuff came in handy for this,” Cameron helpfully explained.

“Did I miss anything?” Donna looked around. She turned toward the living room, couch, and then noticed a large heart-shaped box placed in the center of the coffee table, with Donna’s pair of good candlesticks and brand new red candles set up on both sides of it, yet another doily underneath it all The box was anchored by a large, white, ceramic anatomical heart, and surrounded by shells, smaller porcelain rabbits and birds, and dried flower petals.

“It’s not much, but, it was fun to try?” Cameron shrugged.

“Oh, shush!” Donna threw her arms around Cameron’s neck, kissed her, and said, “It’s beautiful, and I love it. Thank you for trying to make things feel festive even though almost everything in the world totally sucks.” She kissed her again, and said, “Wanna go celebrate by making out?”

“Yes,” Cameron said, “but, I haven’t eaten in hours, can we have dinner first?”

“Yes, absolutely! Whatever my doting wife wants!” Donna agreed.

#the headband bit is totally jacked from an ep of sailor moon in which makoto ties on a kamikaze headband before cleaning #and the heart-shaped box is inspired by THE original heart-shaped box because the dream of the 90s is ALIVE yalce!#happy february bbys!#femslash february #femslash february 2021 #fan fiction #cameron howe #donna clark #donna emerson

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angelbaugh-writes · 4 years

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My Almost Soulmate {Steve Rogers x Reader}

Request: Can I ask for 5 with steeb rogers?

Warnings: endgame spoilers (just in case you haven’t seen it), heartbreak at the end

Author’s Note: Thank you for the request, sunshine! Fun Fact, this dialogue prompt is a line from a poem I wrote. (Another fun fact: One part of this deleted itself twice! So I had to write the date section a total of three times. I think I have it memorized!) I hope you like it. Much love Xox Angel Baugh

I was madly in love with Steve Rogers. It was love at first sight; at least it was for me. If soulmates existed, I believed with my whole being that he was mine.

We first met at the tower. Tony had hired me as an assistant, and was introducing me to the team. I had excused myself to the restroom when Steve arrived. When I entered back into the room, I quite literally ran into the blond super-soldier.

“Oh my gosh. I am so sorry,” I stumbled over my words as I apologized profusely. “Are you okay?” A deep laugh brought my gaze up to the prettiest face I’d ever laid eyes on. I’m sure he heard the squeak that left my mouth.

“It’s okay, doll. I should have looked where I was going.” Oh god. Did he just call me doll?

“Fuck me.” I couldn’t keep the words in. My face began to heat up as the embarrassment washed over me. His smirk sent butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

“Y/N! You met the old man, I see,” Tony spoke as he found us, “What did I miss?” You stared at Steve, wide-eyed and silently begging him to keep his mouth shut. He sent me a wink that caused me to groan inwardly.

“Y/N just ran into me, but it’s no big deal. She apologized to make up for it.”

I must have left a lasting impression on the poor guy, because I had managed to seduce him into asking me on a date. That was the first time I’d ever seen Steve flustered. A light dusting of pink covered his cheeks. I had, of course, said yes. How could I say no to Captain America?

The date started at a nice restaurant. We passed banter back and forth as we ate. Steve told me about his childhood. Sure, I had learned about him in History class, but it was so much more interesting learning it from him. We shared embarrassing stories as we walked to the movie theater. I couldn’t remember the name of the film to save my life, but I do remember practically jumping into his lap when a scary scene played on the large screen.

“I had a really good time tonight,” Steve spoke as he walked me to my front door. I held my cardigan in my hands. He stuffed his hands in his pockets nervously. “I’d love to do it again sometime soon.”

“Maybe we could meet up for some coffee one morning this week,” I suggested, biting my lip. The small action claimed his attention. He licked his lips as his gaze drifted to mine.

“That-That sounds perfect,” he mumbled. A few moments passed before he finally asked the question I’d been waiting to hear. “Can I kiss you?”

A nod was all it took for him to connect our lips. His hands cupped my cheeks while my arms wrapped around his waist. The cool night air nipped at our faces. Sparks shot through my spine at his touch. We pulled away flustered.

“I’ll see you at the tower tomorrow,” I whispered, seemingly dazed. He grinned at me. “Goodnight, Steve.”

“Goodnight, darling. I’ll see you then.” One quick peck on the cheek and we parted to go our separate ways.

Our relationship started slowly. After three more dates, I asked Steve to be my boyfriend. We became closer together as weeks and then months passed. We moved in together after a year together. The house was small but still big enough for us. Soon after that purchase, we got a dog. The irish setter was our child. Sam came over more often than he was invited to play with the dog. He spent many nights in our guest room. We got engaged after three years of being together.

My phone rang as I talked with Pepper. The team was due to arrive from a mission that day and we waited for our boys together.

Tony didn’t give me time to talk when I answered the call, “Hey, kid. We just landed. Your old man got hit and he’s not doing too good. He’s going to be okay. Meet us at the med bay.” He hung up without waiting for a response. I looked at Pepper.

“They’re home,” I croaked out, “but Steve’s hurt.”

When I entered the room, Steve was laying down with an IV hooked up to him. His face looked as if it had been drained of color. Tears pricked my eyes as I sat next to him.

“Oh. Hi, Y/N. I missed you.” His lazy smile brought a quiet chuckle out of me. “I got a boo-boo.”

“I see,” I sniffled. “I thought you were supposed to be invincible to this kind of stuff?”

“I am! But the bad guys got the good stuff. But don’t you worry, I beat them up real good!” His words slurred together as he spoke. The medicine being given to him was causing him to become delirious.

“I’m proud of you, babe,” I grabbed his hand in mine and kissed his knuckles gently.

“Why are you crying? Don’t cry, my love. How am I supposed to propose to you tonight if you are sad?” I halted my actions at his words.

His head lolled to the side before shooting back up. He had sobered up just enough to realize what he had said. I knew this was coming, Bucky is a terrible liar, but I hadn’t expected it to happen so soon.

“Oops. I didn’t mean to say that. Unless you’re okay with that. Will you marry me, Y/N? This is really bad timing, but I’m so madly in love with you. You’re amazing. You’re so smart and talented and pretty. Not to mention your fat a-” I cut off his rambling with a kiss.

“I’d love to marry you.”

The wedding was simple. The team were the only people invited. No best-man was appointed, due to Bucky and Sam’s subtle rivalry, and I had no maid of honor. It was perfect for us. We were perfect together.

I wish I could say that things ended with a Happy Ever After, but it didn’t. The war against Thanos ended with Tony’s funeral. It was easily the hardest day of my life. After the service ended, Steve had to jump back in time to return the stones. He left. He left to finish saving the world for the last time.

The last thing I expected was for him to stay. He was given the chance to stay with her and he took it. He chose Peggy over me. I came second to him in those fleeting moments. In the long run, I meant nothing to him. Just a stepping stone in the path back to her. Everything had been a lie.

He was my almost soulmate.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #Steve Rogers #captain america x reader #captain america #tony stark #Iron Man #Bucky Barnes #sam wilson #marvel #Avengers #The Avengers

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slapshot-to-the-heart · 4 years

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Flatbush & Atlantic: part v

Here we have part v! Took me a little longer than usual, but I’m really happy with how it turned out - it’s All Star Weekend with our favorite couple, folks! I haven’t been getting as much engagement as usual with the posts, so please feel free to reblog it and pop into my inbox!

part i part ii part iii part iv

part v

January 28

Cass sat on a metal bench at JFK, legs propped up on her carry-on, eyes flitting between the departures screen and her phone. Mat walked through the sliding doors to her left, catching her eye with a quick wave and smile. If he wanted to travel incognito in Long Island, though, the suit bag and “these-are-more-expensive-than-they-look” sunglasses weren’t helping his cause. “You’ve got the tickets?” She asked. After much convincing, Cass finally agreed to let Mat buy the tickets; he said it would be easier to make sure they were seated together, and had told her to think of it as a belated Christmas present if she’d like.

Mat nodded, gesturing towards the check-in counters. “Shall we?”

Cat grabbed his hand in her own as they walked to the counter. It hadn’t even crossed her mind that they’d be travelling anything but economy — she never had, after all — so she was more than a little surprised when he steered her and their bags towards American’s first-class check-in. He looked down at her. “What? You think I’d let you go to the All-Star Game in anything but the best? Nah, we’re travelling in style, babe.” Cass flushed, handing over her bags to be weighed and taking the boarding pass from the flight attendant with a harried thanks.

“Qu-est-ce que c’est, chère?” Mat asked, brushing a kiss over the top of her head as they headed up the escalator. French had been her foreign language in high school and college; it had gotten rusty, but Mat and Tito had been more than happy to practice with her, though Beau’s Québécois accent sometimes proved a little difficult to understand.

“I’m just really excited for this weekend. I know how much it means to you to be on the team and competing in the skills competition again, and I’m lucky to be able to see you do what you love.”

After a less-than-ideal forty minutes in the security line, Cass handed her license and Mat’s passport over to the TSA agent, who gave them a cursory once-over before marking their boarding passes and letting them through the scanner.

They boarded the Delta flight some 40 minutes later, after a much-needed pit-stop at the Starbucks. The flight attendants took their coats and showed them to their seats, and before Cass knew it she was seated in a very large, very comfortable chair that had more legroom than she thought humanly possible, a glass of champagne perched on her tray table. “Is this how you live? All the time?” She whispered to Mat, stunned.

“Sometimes,” he admitted. “The team charters a plane for games and I usually don’t do first class to go back home, but this is a special occasion. It deserves it, you deserve it.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek, pulling out his Airpods. “We’ve got just enough time to get through Pirates of the Carribean before we land. What do you say?”

Their plane landed a few hours later, the two catching an Uber to the hotel about twenty minutes away. Apparently there had been “a car” coming for them, but Cass balked at the idea, insisting that the Toyota Corolla coming to pick them up was more than enough for her.

“Hi, checking in for Barzal,” Mat said, smiling at the receptionist.

“One moment,” she replied, tapping on the computer and turning around to grab two key cards. “You two will be in room 307, third floor. Elevators are that way. Enjoy your stay!” Mat took the cards, handing one to Cass as they turned towards the row of elevators. As excited as she was, Cass was also just the tiniest bit apprehensive about sharing a room with Mat for a whole weekend. She had spent the night once or twice since the Christmas party, and had officially been granted “a drawer” in his dresser, but it was still the longest (relatively) uninterrupted time she’d spend with him.

There were a few hours before the festivities kicked off with some sort of red carpet-type thing, so Cass pulled out her laptop and got to work while Mat went off to exercise in the hotel gym. None of her professors this semester recorded lectures, so she was relying on good friends and a strong Wifi connection to get the notes from the one class she was missing. Cass wasn’t one to skip out on responsibilities and she did feel bad about not being there, but she had earned a break.

Mat came back a little while later, and Cass took that as her cue to start getting ready. After he got out of the shower, she took over the bathroom, spreading her makeup, brushes, and precisely-3.4-ounce bottle of hairspray over the counter. This was the first big event she was going to as a WAG, and nerves were flying. Cass was already well aware that she didn’t fit into the typical mold, and hated the fact that she felt like she had to justify herself everywhere she went. And it didn’t help that Mat wasn’t just one of the best young players in the NHL in recent memory, but also a total smokeshow of a man who had hundreds of women falling at his feet.

But galas, parties, extravagant events were nothing new to her. She had been the president of her sorority at UConn, organizing and attending more than her fair share of her own formals and semiformals or accompanying a friend or boyfriend to theirs. And law school called for dressing up more than occasionally. She was no stranger to impressing people. The dress was light blue to coordinate with Mat’s suit, heavily beaded, and absolutely gorgeous. This was the one part of the trip that she had absolutely refused to let Mat pay for, even though he offered. The league covered the room and he had gotten the flights, and her ego needed to pick up at least a marginal part of the expenses.

She twisted her hair up into a bun, bobby pins stuck in her mouth as she pulled out a few strands of hair. Setting spray? Check. Lipstick? A deep rose shade that she’d had since her first year of law school, so, check. “You almost ready to go, chou?” She asked, leaning down to her suitcase and grabbing the strappy heels she’d picked out for the night.

“Uh, yeah,” Mat said, buttoning his suit jacket. He usually had pretty good taste even before they started dating, but the navy blue velvet suit he was wearing was really something else. “Wow, you look amazing, Cass.”

She smiled, stepping towards him. “The lipstick’s kiss-proof, you know.”

He raised one eyebrow. “You wanna try that out?”

---

It was a fifteen minute drive to the venue, the car the league had sent packed with players and their partners, or whoever else had managed to wrangle a spot. She thinks there were some cousins involved? Mat got out before her, holding the door open while he leaned down. “The reporters are usually fine, they get that most of you guys aren’t used to this,” he murmured, “but you don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to, I’ll say something if I see it getting out of line.”

She squeezed his hand in appreciation, taking a breath to steady her nerves before following him onto the red carpet. After posing for a few photos, they moved onto the reporters, Mat getting steered towards someone who Cass was pretty sure was from SportsCenter, but she couldn’t be positive in the crowd of hundreds. Cass briefly introduced herself, stepping slightly to the side as the conversation’s topics veered towards strategy and expectations, how best to manage playing with only three players and how he was feeling about his chances for fastest skater.

“And you’ve brought your lovely girlfriend Cassidy along, how did you two meet?” Cass heard her name mentioned, quickly snapping out of the daydream she had been lost in. Fluff pieces were nothing new and she knew it would come up, everyone loved getting to know the players outside of a strictly hockey context.

“Yeah, so I’m in law school, and I got an internship with the counsel’s office for the Islanders,” Cas started, “and I helped Mat with some visa stuff. He kept trying to drop hints that he was into me, but—”

“They weren’t hints. I was being as obvious as possible,” Mat deadpanned. Cass giggled.

“Well, yeah, in retrospect I was just being incredibly oblivious, but came to one day, and the rest is history.” Mat leaned down, brushing a kiss over her cheek, and Cass could see camera flashes go off in her peripherals. She’d have to track that picture down later.

The interviewer nodded, asking a few follow-ups on her exposure to hockey growing up, her dress, and one more. “So, you hardly live the typical life of a hockey girlfriend. What do you think about that?”

Cass was confused. “Pardon?”

“Law school, being a lawyer. That’s not something that you typically see WAGs pursue, especially considering the salaries NHLers make. It’s not like they have to do much.” Cass was floored. How could someone be so disrespectful, not only to her, but to every other woman in her position? She was struggling to come up with a response. As it would happen, she didn’t need to.

“Excuse me?” Mat’s response was dripping venom. “Why would you ask something like that?”

The interviewer tried to backtrack, but ended up digging himself into an ever deeper hole. “Well, I just meant that you don’t see it often, which is true—”

“Maybe you don’t, but that shouldn’t matter,” Mat said. “Being a stay-at-home mom or running charity events is awesome if that’s something that they want to do, but it’s not for everyone. And don’t you dare ever suggest that Cass hasn’t worked hard as hell to get to where she is. She’s graduating in five months from an Ivy League law school, and she’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. Don’t ever talk about her that way. Don’t ever talk about any woman that way.” He turned away, his hand on Cass’ upper back. “Don’t ever let anyone undersell you. You’ve worked too damn hard and come too damn far.”

Jan. 29 (fri)

Cass smoothed out her dress, taking a last-minute look in the mirror to make sure nothing was stuck in her teeth. “How do I look?” She asked, turning to Mat.

“You look great, babe. Stop stressing.” She had picked a floral dress and denim jacket for breakfast with Mat’s family, but couldn’t stop wringing her hands in worry. Mat crossed the room in three steps, holding her hands still and looking at her more intensely than she had ever seen. “Remember when I was losing my shit meeting your parents?” Cass gave a tearful nod. “And it all turned out okay and now I text your brother probably more than you do?”

She laughed. “Noah worships you, and my dad loves you. Thinks you’re ‘good for me,’ whatever he means by that.”

“I think,” Mat said, tapping her temple with one finger, “that sometimes you get a little stuck up here. You’re so smart, and it’s incredible, but you overthink things sometimes, pretty girl.”

She ducked her head. “That’s probably true.”

“But what I meant to say is that it turned out I had nothing to worry about. And neither do you, my parents will love you and Liana’ll just be excited to have another girl around to complain about me to. It’s going to go great,” he added with finality.

“You promise?” Cass asked.

Mat kissed her, soft and sweet and slow, the kind of kiss that wasn’t born of passion and lust but of just genuine deep trust and affection. The kind of kiss that brings your feet back to the ground when your head’s stuck off in the clouds. “I promise.”

Cass flashed a small smile, squeezing Mat’s hand in hers and heading towards the door. “Then I guess we’d better get going.” She had been up late the night before, searching on Yelp for the perfect restaurant, despite Mat’s continual claims that they’d “love wherever, they just want food.” Though, she’s not sure what she expected when asking a 20-something man what he wanted to eat. There was a cute place a ten minute drive away, with four-point-seven stars and reviews that said their quiches were the “best thing on this godforsaken planet,” according to IridescentGymRat44. Cass loved quiches.

It was a quick Uber over, Mat’s mom having texted him that they had already arrived and snagged a table in the back for privacy. It may have been a family event, but it was still All-Star Weekend and Mat was still, well, Mat. It wasn’t likely he could fly under the radar for too long. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand reassuringly as they turned the corner, and his face split into a wide grin at the sight of his family. Hugging each of them quickly, he stepped back to introduce Cass, one hand lightly resting on the small of her back. “This is Cass, my girlfriend.”

“Yeah, we figured,” Liana said pointedly, causing Cass to poorly cover up a snort of amusement, which in turn just caused everyone to laugh even more at their efforts trying not to laugh so hard.

As it would turn out, Mat was right. She really had nothing to worry about; his parents embraced her (literally and metaphorically) as soon as she set down and his sister immediately whipped out her phone to show his worst baby pictures. “Hey,” she said, as Mat glared at her, “you deserve to know what you’re getting yourself into.” They were interested in her work and school, and Mat gladly took the liberty of explaining how they met, earning a slap on the back of his head from his mom when he got to the part with the visa slipup. They said their goodbyes sometime around eleven; Cass would have liked to stay longer, but everyone needed to get back to their hotels and ready for the skills competitions in the afternoon.

“Excited to defend the title?” Cass said, bumping her shoulder against Mat as they walked down the hallway to their room.

“Yeah, I guess,” Mat said, shrugging slightly. “Obviously it would be great to win, but there’s still McDavid and Eichel and a ton of other guys that have just as good of a chance to run away with this thing.” After his win last year, it was no shock that Mat had been picked for the fastest skater competition again, but the hordes of fans and reporters who were expecting him to go back-to-back weren’t helping his nerves. They reached the door, Mat shoving his hand into his pocket to dig out the key card.

“Look at me,” Cass said softly, once they had gotten their shoes off and were propped up next to each other in bed. Mat’s head turned, his hand still absentmindedly tangled in her curls. “You’re going to do great. Win or lose. I believe it, your family believes it, the other guys on the team believe it. Now all we need is for you to believe it yourself.”

---

Cass was walking through the tunnels of the BB&T Center, phone pressed to her cheek as she tried to listen to her dad on the other end of the line. A few players and their families were milling about, some getting ready to compete in their skills competitions, others catching up with old friends. “Oh, and you booked the tickets to Hermosillo, yeah?” It was a family tradition for them to spend a few weeks every summer back in Mexico with her grandparents; they had split their time between San Antonio and their hometown ever since retirement. Cass always tried to make it, but the past summer she wasn’t able to wrangle the two weeks off from her job that she’d need for the trip, and it had crushed her. They weren’t getting any younger, and her abuelo had suffered a nasty stroke the year prior that made her all the more anxious to visit.

“Yep, layover in Mexico City like usual, I’ll send you the ticket when the trip gets closer,” Patrick responded.

“And you’ve got everyone’s passport info?”

She could imagine her dad rolling his eyes. “Yes, Cassidy. Everything’s booked, everything’s fine. Have fun in Florida, tell Mat good luck from us.”

“Okay, I will. Love you, dad.” Cass said, running a hand through her hair.

A voice that she didn’t quite recognize called her name, and as she turned around she was more than a little surprised to see Auston Matthews waving at her. “It is Cassidy, right?”

She nodded her head. “Cassidy, Cass, I’ll answer to both.”

The confusion on her face must have still been evident, because he followed up. “I follow Barzy on Instagram, he brags about you all the time.”

“Yeah, sounds like him,” she said, tapping her fingers on her thigh.

“Are you going to introduce me?” His mom asked from beside him.

“Oh, yeah, ‘course,” Auston said, stumbling over his words. “Mom, this is Cassidy, obviously. Cassidy — Cass?” He questioned, looking over at her. She nodded. “Cass, this is my mom Ema.” She greeted her with a warm hug, and Cass just about melted. Moms really do give the best hugs.

Ema spoke up. “Do you have family in Hermosillo? I heard you mention it on the phone.”

“Mhm!” Cass’s head almost bounced from how fast she was nodding. “My grandparents split time between there and San Antonio, we try to visit for a few weeks every summer.”

“That’s where I grew up,” she responded, beaming. “It’s wonderful, but the summers get so hot, don’t they?” Cass and Auston both nodded.

“I think it got up to 110º when I was there once? Maybe 115º? I want to lock myself in a freezer sometimes, I swear.” The whole group collapses into laughs, and spent a few minutes talking before Cass had to tear herself away and find her seats with Mat’s family for the fastest skater competition. Ema had left her with no fewer than three restaurant recommendations, making her swear to try them all. “Best tacos I’ve ever had,” she had said about one.

Cass greeted Mat’s family with a wave as they settled into their seats, one row up from the ice on the right side. The players had just come out, and it only took a few seconds to make eye contact with Mat. She was wearing his — her — jersey, and had long since abandoned trying to roll up and cuff the sleeves. It wasn’t going to happen, and she kind of liked the feeling of being buried in it. She blew him a kiss as the announcers voices echoed through the stadium, and the heat was on.

Mat was slated to go last, which was either the best or worst thing depending on how you thought about it. Cass was always someone to sign up for the first slot for speeches and presentations, and hated having late games in tournaments during her lacrosse days. She liked being able to get it over with. Mat was the opposite. He was competitive and stubborn to a fault, needing to size up the competition and get ahead of the game. Needed to know what to expect. There first few she didn’t recognize, a few first-time faces to the All-Star competition, a rookie from Winnipeg who was a favorite for the Calder. Everyone was doing well, really well — all the times but one were under 14 seconds, but nobody had broken Mat’s time yet.

Eichel got close, McDavid got closer, and then Mat was up to defend his championship. She blew a kiss to him as he stepped up to the line, murmured a prayer, and the whistle blew. Clean straightaways, tight turns, gaining speed on the curves, and in the blink of an eye it was over. Cass knew he had won, the roar of the crowd told her as much, but she didn’t realize his time. She didn’t realize until the announcer reported that with a time of 13.080 seconds, Mathew Barzal had just set the record. His face was stunned for a moment, looking up at the screen and then down at the ice and then back up at the screen again, while being hugged and congratulated from all sides, as if trying to process what had just happened.

It was the last one of the night, so Cass said her goodbyes to Mat’s family, with a promise to meet up before the game the next day, and hurried down to meet Mat. There wasn’t anything formal scheduled for the rest of the night, so he came out of the locker room in just a pair of athletic shorts and an Islanders t-shirt. Cass ran up, jumping into his arms as he dropped his bag to catch her. “Woah, babe,” he said, steadying his hands on the back of her thighs, “coulda given me a warning there.”

Cass kissed him. “Wouldn’t have been nearly as fun that way, though, huh?”

“You’re right.” Mat shrugged good-naturedly, setting Cass down and grabbing his bag and her hand.

“How does it feel having beaten the record?” Cass asked.

Mat ran his free hand through his hair, still shower-damp. “So surreal. I wasn’t even sure I’d win, not with how stacked the lineup was, let alone get anywhere near breaking the record. It’s ridiculous, but it’s amazing.”

“You’re amazing.”

Jan. 30 (sat)

Mat was busy doing media and catching up with some of the guys before the game later that day, and Cass had elected to stay in the room. Mat had offered for her to come along, “you might think it’s interesting?” he had noted, but she’d be damned if she let herself fall behind in her last semester, she was just too close. It had already been a bit of a stretch for her to take a day off and come for the whole weekend, so her afternoon was instead filled with some utterly thrilling reading on advanced contract theory and a thick-as-all-hell review book for the New York state bar. She leaned back in her chair, taking the last remaining sip of the mediocre Lipton tea she had snagged from the basket by the room’s coffee maker. She could finish it later.

Cass picked up her phone, pressing play on a voicemail from Fiona that had been left earlier in the afternoon.

Uh, hey, it’s me. Cass, I don’t know if this is what you want to hear, but I don’t think I’d be a very good friend if I didn’t say it. Uh-oh. Conversations that started like that never ended well. I’m happy about you and Mat, I know you like him a lot, but I’m worried that he’s distracting you. I know you told us you’d be gone, but we missed you at the study group, and I know you skipped your law review meeting today. The rest of the message was more of the same, but one sentence stuck out to her. Think about where your priorities are. Think about where you want them to be.

Fiona Chan had a one-track mind. And Cass loved her for it — she was one of the most dedicated people she knew and an incredible friend. But she sometimes found it hard to understand when people had priorities that extended beyond the bounds of law school, when their sole focus wasn’t on their Contracts final or clinic or clerkship they were doing for some top-tier appellate judge.

She flopped back on the bed. Think about where your priorities are. She had been spending a lot of time with Mat lately, but no more than anyone would spend with their significant other — right? And it wasn’t a sin for her to have a life outside of law school. She was still more than competent at her job, got most of the reading done, was prepared when professors would cold-call on her. She still showed up to meetings.

But even she would admit that her head wasn’t in the game all the time, if she could hazard another High School Musical reference. She’d sneak texts, meet him for lunch instead of going to office hours, and now, take weekends off to be with him. But that wasn’t a bad thing. Or was it? Her grades weren’t really suffering, and nobody else had mentioned anything. Friends notice things, though, Cass thought. And Fiona was one of the most perceptive people she knew. She groaned. Why wasn’t there ever an easy way to figure these things out? She really liked Mat — she might even love him — but Cass couldn’t help but feel like she was gambling on something that wasn’t a sure thing. And her future wasn’t something to play games with.

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