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fantasies-fairytales-n-fics · 1 year

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Code Blue Ch. 19- Suite Emotions

Summary: A funeral reception takes place on top of the town. Josie panics. Lee saves her and does something sweet. Britt gets drunk and says too much. Josie lets her have it. Lee loses his cool with Gordon. The party's just beginning. Josie vows to herself to forget the past. She and Lee are in bliss with each other, until others interfere. Josie and Ethan have it out, then she and Lee have an emotional fight.

*Warnings* Anxiety, language, angst, alcohol use, drug use, violence,

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Chapter characters: Lee, Josie, Britt, Amy, Gordon, Donna, Ethan

Salem, Massachusetts

February 26, 2023

6 pm - The Metro Court

Lee had rented a huge penthouse at the top of the Metro Court in downtown Salem for the funeral reception. He figured it would be perfect for the out of town guests or those who just wanted to get drunk, to have a place to stay for the night.

You and Lee were the first to arrive after the burial, followed by Britt and Amy, since Britt lived in another apartment there and she desperately wanted to change into something of casual comfort and hit the liquor cabinet.

As you all entered the hotel, Lee led you straight to the elevator, in which you froze as he pushed the button. You wanted to tell him you couldn't do it, but the last thing you wanted was to make him walk up almost twenty flights of stairs all because you were too chicken shit to ride in the metal box. You told yourself you could do it because Lee was with you and you could just hold onto him and close your eyes.

The doors opened and in you went, gripping his hand as your legs turned to jelly. You could instantly feel your chest tighten as the doors shut, locking you in. Closing your eyes, you imagined Lee's calming voice telling you what he said when he had carried you into the ER.....Breathe...

You certainly tried, but your throat was constricting. Lee's presence was not helping like you thought it would and he immediately noticed you clutching your chest along with the death grip you had on his hand.

"Jo? Hey sweet girl, what's wrong?"

You couldn't speak or even open your eyes to look at him. Your jaw was clenched as you held your breath and soon, your legs began to give.

"Jesus, Jo, baby??" Lee gasped and grabbed your waist to hold you up, then repeatedly punched the button to the next floor in panic. It opened and he quickly puled you out and steadied you against the wall.

"Look at me, look at me Jo." he insisted as he cupped your face in his hands. Your eyes flickered open. "Breathe Jo..."

You let your breath out and deflated like a balloon into his arms.

"I've got you, I've got you. You're safe." he sweetly assured as he cradled you softly and stroked your hair. "Do you want to tell me what just happened? because you just scared the hell out of me."

"I...I am so sorry. I...I can't do elevators...the small space. I..I tried to do it for you. I thought I would be ok with you beside me."

"God, how stupid can I be?? You told me about what your sister did to you. How could I forget and be so careless with you?? I am so sorry Jo."

"Lee, it's not your fault. You are not stupid! You just have a lot on your mind. I should have said something but...I didn't want you to think I was a big baby. I could have taken the stairs and met you up there."

"Ok, listen to me right now. You are NOT a baby for having a genuine validated fear and I certainly would never think you were one...and like hell you are going to take the stairs alone while I take the easy way up. Come on..."

"W...wait...what are you doing?"

"What does it look like? I am taking the stairs with you. I've been slacking on the gym anyways, so I could use the exercise." he cutely grinned as he patted his belly and took your hand.

You couldn't believe how understanding he was and that he was doing this for you. It made you get in all your feels and you did what you never do in front of people, especially him. You began to cry.

'Jo, baby girl, why are you crying??? Come here.."

As soon as he took you in his arms, you broke down even harder and felt so dumb...but he just brought things out of you that you didn't know existed. He kissed the top of your head and lightly rocked you, as if you were dancing.

"I..I'm so sorry...I..don't know what happened...just everything...I never do this...this crying thing...I feel so stupid." your shaky voice muffled into his chest.

He then made you look at him as he tenderly gripped your chin.

"Hey, if I'm not stupid, then you're not stupid. It's only fair."

You couldn't control the smile that curled clear up your cheeks and so did his.

"See...there's my girl and her beautiful smile."

Lee realized what he just said, calling you his girl and you had caught it too. You both gazed at each other, having another moment...in which he broke, and you weren't sure why, because damn it, you wanted him to kiss you so bad.

"Let's get you up stairs and get you a stiff one....oh Jesus, I meant..."

You were rolling in laughter which made you trip up a step and then he did the same. You both sat there laughing so hard that no sound came out.

"My god, I need a stiff DRINK, or fifty." he chuckled. "Come on."

You definitely could use a stiff one, and you certainly wanted the dirty version of it....but you kept that mind gutter of a thought to yourself.

He took your hand and up the multiple flights you both went. Lee took his time too because he loved spending every moment alone with you that he could get and he knew that tonight, those moments would be far and few between.

Finally, you both made it to the top floor where Britt and Amy were waiting in the hall, both already changed into different outfits.

"Took you two long enough. Ya'll have a quickie in the stairwell?"

"Britt!!!!" you snapped.

Lee dropped and shook his head with a bashful grin as he put his hands on his hips.

'What? Don't get your panties in a twist Josie. We all know it's going to happen. I mean, who wouldn't want to, just look at him."

Your mouth dropped open wide at her buzzed bluntness. The aroma of tequila loitered the space around the four of you.

"Sorry Josie and Lee. Britt here had quite a few shots in her apartment." Amy explained in embarrassment.

"Yeah...one too many." you retorted, very unsettled by her comment about Lee....and he seemed a bit thrown as well.

"Don't apologize for me Amieeee. I'm a big girl and can do as I please. Now, Josie on the other hand, girl, you need to come change out of those little girl clothes." Britt snarked as she looked you up and down.

"What is wrong with the way I'm dressed??"

"Yeah, what is wrong with how Jo is dressed. She looks absolutely gorgeous." Lee argued and gave you a wink and a smile. Your heart fluttered as the butterflies went crazy.

"Exactly! She's gorgeous and shouldn't be dressed like a ten year old. If ya got it, flaunt it! and she's got it! Come on!!" Britt reprimanded you and began dragging you off down the hall.

You glanced back at Lee with an eye roll. "Sorry! I'll be right back."

Lee chuckled and he and Amy went inside to find Donna already there, sipping on a martini.

"Well, you guys wasted no time getting to the free bar. Where's Gordon?"

"In the other room tinkering with his toys as usual." she huffed.

"He brought one of his junk computers here...to work on at his father's funeral reception? You've got to be shitting me."

"Wish I were. It's that one he had as a teenager." she scoffed and rolled her eyes.

Lee poured himself a double of whiskey and downed it, then marched off to have words with his ill-bred brother.

"Geez Britt, how much did you drink already?? Have you even eaten?"

"What does it matter how much I've drank, I don't give a shit."

"Ok...well I do...and where's your arm brace??"

"Don't know, don't care. I don't need it anyways. It's only a sprain and it don't hurt."

"It don't hurt because you're drunk and you're going to hurt it more."

"Ok doctor March!! I thought I was the doctor here?? Stop harping at me and pour yourself one. You are way too uptight! Loosen up and live a little! Maybe even get laid. You've probably got cobwebs down there by now."

"I don't need to be sauced to live...although maybe tonight, I will indulge a bit after this craptastic day." you groaned and went to pour a drink....silently agreeing that it's been too long since you've had sex. But, you weren't just going to give it to just anyone, like Britt had been good at doing, well at least until she met Jason. He was to her like Lee was to you. The one.

"That a girl!!! Now you'll fit in with Lee's crowd a lot better."

"Uh, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Well duhhh, he likes his booze too if you haven't noticed and from what I remember, he likes more than alcohol...and he likes women that do all these things...and much more if ya get my drift."

"Shut up Britt! Don't talk about him like that...you know, all the complaining you've done about his drinking and problems is quite hypocritical don't ya think?? Look at you! And how do you know so much about Lee??"

"Mrrrow!! Well Josieeee, I've known him a lot longer than you. We've hung out a few times many years ago so?? And yeah, he's got problems, I've got problems, we've all got problems!! I just don't take mine to work...I mean, did you forget I lost my brother too? Remember Nathan?? Killed in the line of duty by that psycho Peter August that you were gaga over, oh and then there was my boyfriend who was blown to bits, well, almost boyfriend since he didn't want me involved in his life."

"Oh my god...you did not just say that about my BROTHER!"

'What? It's true. You were there!"

"Yeah Britt...I was there and could have died too. Can you be any more insensitive?? And no, I did not forget about Nathan. How could I? Maxi was in love with him, he was her husband. But don't make it sound like it was my fault that Peter is just like your father. I dropped him like a hot potato when I found out who he really was. Nathan died because he was the god guy trying to take down the bad guy, regardless of their shared blood. Don' t ever mention Peter to me again, or to anyone. He's in prison where he belongs...and don't forget Brittttt, he is your half brother just like Nathan. You all share the same wacko father so you could easily inherit the crazy too!"

You chugged down a shot and stormed off into her bedroom to look through her clothes. Britt followed you and plopped on the bed.

"Sorry...I just miss Jason and Nathan so fucking much and I don't know how to deal with it anymore."

"Well so do I Britt, but I don't say hurtful things to you about them."

"You're right...I'm sorry. It just came out...I'm just a mess and I'm lonely and everyone I know is happy and in love."

"I guess I understand that...but just watch what you say to me about Jason and Lee."

"You really love him don't you?" Britt asked as she sniffled.

"I'm not having this convo with you because you're big mouth will blurt it all out." you reeled as you fumbled through her clothes, not finding anything appealing, for most of it was all skimpy as far as anything dressy.

"Here...wear this. It's not overbearing." Britt insisted as she pulled out a flashy tank top and tight mini skirt. Not overbearing? You might as well have been naked. You tried it on and looked yourself over in the mirror. It wasn't so bad after all once you saw yourself in it.

"There...you look smokin hot and it shows your toned ice skating legs...here, take your hair down too...trust me, Lee will like that." she said as she violently pulled your hair tie out.

"Owwww! and Ok, he liked me just the way I was 15 minutes ago and...seriously..how do you know what he likes?" you curiously asked as you spun around to her.

"What? He's a man. What man don't like skin?" she said with widened tell tale eyes and turned to get another drink.

"You know...you just told me, no better yet, rubbed it in my face how you have known him for years and even hung out with him. not to mention your straight forward comment about him in the hall. Just how well do you know him Britt??"

"Josie, we work together, have for many years. Anyone with eyeballs can see he's a 10 out of 10. What are you getting at?"

Britt put her coat back on and went out onto the balcony to smoke, in which you followed her right out.

You grabbed her arm and spun her around. "Did you fuck him???"

She yanked her arm away. "I don't like what you're insinuating."

"My god....you did, didn't you??!"

"Josie, what good is this going to do...."

"Answer me!!"

"Ok fine! Yes!! one time. Jesus, it was almost 10 years ago, right after he started working at the hospital. You knew about how Lee was back then with women. What's the big deal??"

You couldn't help yourself, and you hauled off and slapped her.

"I...I did know...but I sure as hell never thought it was with you! That's the big deal!! Why did you not tell me!? God, why did HE not tell me!?"

You marched inside to put your shoes on and Amy was standing there with complete shock on her face as she heard everything. She had came to see what was taking you both so long.

"You told her??" Amy stated in disgust.

"You're joking right?? YOU knew too and didn't tell me??"

"I did Josie, but there was no reason to tell you. Britt is right. It was so long ago. Lee was a different man then and...he's happy now because of you...and you're happy because of him. No one wanted to ruin that!"

"You know, I get that it was another time in Lee's life, and in Britt's too and I also know that it's none of my business who he has been with before me, but I feel that it most certainly is when it's my best friend!! The fact that I was not told is why I am so pissed off! How am I supposed to trust anyone when they keep secrets from me?? This...this is why I didn't want another relationship!"

"Josie, not everyone is Gerry or that EJ guy, especially not Lee." Amy reminded you, as if you needed it. You knew damn well Lee was nothing like them, and that's what scared you the most...that he was real.

"How do you know? Did you sleep with him too??"

Amy gasped as you stormed out in tears and went to sit in the stair well to calm down. Now you knew that Lee not only had a fling with his neighbor Angel, but also with your best friend and maybe they were right, that it shouldn't matter because Lee didn't know you then...but you couldn't help it. It did matter to you. Whom else were you going to be blind sided by that Lee slept with?

Lee walked in to find Gordon nose deep in an illegal substance, which was no surprise....but it pissed Lee off that he was doing it there.

"Fuck Gordon, what the hell are you doing!?"

"What's it look like little bro? Want some?"

"Put that shit away. I'm not going to jail because of you."

"Relax! No one is going to see. That's why I came in here."

"Yeah, and the door is unlocked. I just walked in. What if it had been someone else?"

"Well it was nobody...literally."

"Don't think I won't throw your ass out of here. I've taken your disrespect long enough."

"That would be just like you. Throw me out of my own father's celebration of life, just like you've thrown me out of every other part of his life as well."

"You did all of that yourself Gordo. Not me."

"That's alright. I'll get back what's mine. There's a little something there for you on the stand."

Lee went over and picked up two pieces of paper and began to read them.

"You went and did it huh...and obviously before you came to see me today. You're an unbelievable piece of shit, you know that Gordon?"

Just then, Donna came in, annoyed that Gordon had been in there so long.

"What are you guys doing in here? There are guests arriving and asking where you are."

"Oh, just reading Gordon's lawsuit he filed to try and take the farm, among other things that don't belong to him, but you knew that already didn't you Donna?" Lee barked as he threw the papers on the desk beside Gordon. "These are shit. You will not win."

"We will see about that now won't we." Gordon replied.

"I've had enough." Lee flatly stated and picked up Gordon's computer, holding it high above his head so Gordon couldn't reach it, then left the room with it.

"What the hell are you doing Lee?!"

You had just came in to see Lee carrying something quite large out to the balcony with Gordon and Donna chasing after him as everyone watched, so you followed because Lee looked extremely pissed off.

"Give it back man!! Dad gave me that!" Gordon shouted as Lee searched the ground below. Once he saw that there were no people beneath, he hurled the big box over the edge. Gordon ran to the ledge and watched the computer soar to the ground and splinter all over the sidewalk.

"You asshole!!!" Gordon raged. "I almost had it fixed!"

"I suggest you either leave or stay the fuck away from me the rest of the night, or I am going to call the cops and inform them of the contents you brought in here and that are in your system. The choice is yours. Come on Jo."

Lee softly took your hand and led you out to the bar, pouring you both a double of whiskey on the rocks. He knocked his back in one mouthful and then heavily sighed.

"Lee, what just happened?" you asked with wide eyes and great concern.

"He's suing me, just like I said he would. He already had the papers drawn up and fucking brought them here to show me....and he was inhaling some heavy shit when I had walked in as well. Right here at dad's party. Can you believe the nerve of..."

Lee froze in awe when he had turned and actually looked at you.

"Jo...wow...you look...incredible, not that you didn't before."

All you could do was just stare at him, remembering what you had just learned about Britt.

"Thanks.." you managed to squeak out, trying to hold back the tears you had just finally got to stop.

"Where's Britt?" Lee asked.

His questioning of her whereabouts set you off as you broke eye contact with him, trying so hard to keep your forming tears from falling.

"Jo? Sweetheart, what's wrong? You're...you're crying again?" he asked so tenderly as he gently wiped a stray tear from the corner of your eye.

"It's...it's nothing. Umm, just Britt. We had an argument."

You couldn't bring yourself to tell him what it was about...not now anyways.

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. She obviously had too much to drink huh?" he inquired with a light smile.

"Yeah..." you frowned.

"Well, ok. Screw her. Let's go mingle and try to have a little fun. My dad wouldn't want any of us moping around and being sad anymore."

You cringed inside. Screw her he certainly did.

Lee went to the front of the room and began talking to everyone.

"My dad's favorite decade was the 80's, which is also when I was growing up. You've all probably noticed this entire penthouse is furnished in nothing but that, which is my way of honoring him and the things he loved. So, without further ado, let's honor him some more and get this party started!!!" Lee shouted as he went over to the stereo and cranked it up.

As you looked all around the room, you were amazed at what Lee had done for his father and he looked so happy about it which was making it very hard for you to stay upset. You decided you were just going to try and shove the horrible information down and try to have some fun with him now that you had calmed down. You weren't angry with him and you slightly understood why he didn't tell you...and you certainly didn't want to lose him over it. Maybe you were making too big of a deal out of it...Lee had a past...so did you. Maybe he would tell you about it someday...but for now, you wanted to focus on the future with him because that was all that should matter,

Lee shook and popped the cork on a bottle of champagne and sprayed it all around the room. Everyone cheered and danced.

"Jo, sweetheart, do you want a glass??"

"Yeah, sure. Thank you."

You took it and hammered it back. Lee gazed at you in astonishment with a huge grin.

"Another, beautiful?"

You smiled so big. "Hit me more."

"You know what everyone?? My baby is sexy as hell!!" Lee blurted out, shocking the shit out of you. Not because of what he did, but what he said. He was proud to have you by his side and wanted to show you off.

You must have turned as red as the curtains as you shyly smiled at him. Regardless of what you knew, he made you feel so damn good...and that's usually when something was bound to go wrong.

"Let's dance!!!" he shouted as the popular David Bowie song came on.

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You laughed so hard, that happy tears rolled down your face as you watched him let loose and pump his arm, sounding the locomotive's horn for his dad....in which he had gotten everyone to mimic and follow him around the room like they were a train and Lee was the engine, his dad's favorite part.

Gordon and Donna danced too as if Lee hadn't just trashed his computer, but you knew that was the booze and drugs they were both on.

Lee danced his way over to you and swooped you into his arms, spinning you around and singing to you. God you loved it when he sang to you.

"If you say run, I'll run with you. If you say hide, we'll hide because my love for you would break my heart in two if you should fall into my arms and tremble like a flower."

Your heart skipped a beat about the love part...but you knew he was just singing the words, that he certainly didn't mean anything by it...although you desperately wished he did.

A few hours had went by as everyone danced, drank, ate, and talked. You wondered if Orlando and Ethan were even going to come after what happened with the whole car incident thing. You hoped at least Orlando would, but you couldn't care less about Ethan. A far as you were now concerned about him...he was trouble with a big fat capital T.

"Do you want to know something Jo?" Lee asked as he smiled his quirky smile.

"Sure." you cutely smiled back.

"You make me feel so damn good. So happy. So alive." he said with a now serious face and stroked your cheek, his sparkling cobalt eyes gaping into your soul.

Goosebumps rose all over your skin at his soft tickling touch.

"Right back at ya babe." you replied with a grin, in which Lee ate your words right up.

He went over to the stereo and fumbled through the cd's, then he put one in and hit play.

"Come with me." he whispered and whisked you off to the balcony.

"Dance with me."

Lee reached his hand out to you with the sweetest smile, the moonlight dancing in his eyes.

The song that played shocked the hell out of you. Was this another sign? Did you not just tell yourself earlier that something had to go wrong because you were feeling way too damn good? If it was a sign, you prayed it was a good one and not an omen.

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"Now that you're here, I just feel like I'm constantly dreaming." he sang as he rested his forehead on yours.

If there was a heaven, you were in it...sitting on cloud 9 and you didn't wanna come back down.

You both swayed slowly to the music as if no existed but the two of you...until you were at an angle to where you could see inside.

There stood Ethan behind the bar, watching you and Lee like a vulture. He smugly smiled and tipped his glass to you.

And there it was...your nice time with Lee was now ruined. Ethan had a lot of gull to show up after Lee damn near kicked his ass.

Lee noticed your glare and turned to see what had you on edge.

"Ignore him and hold onto me." Lee whispered in your ear as he laid his cheek softly against yours and continued dancing with you.

You did as he said and closed your eyes, burying your face in his neck and pressing yourself into him as you tightened your grip around his neck. Lee softly moaned as you did that and placed his hand on the back of your head. You could feel his warm breath trickle through your hair and down your neck, sending your core into an erotic tizzy. Acting on impulse, you ran your fingers up his neck and through his hair as you brought your nose and mouth to rest upon his open collar bone. His fingers clenched your hair as he deeply exhaled into it.

"Jo..." Lee whispered as his lips trailed across your cheek. "I....I...."

Whatever he was going to tell you wasn't going to be revealed at that moment as an inebriated bawling Britt came rushing onto the balcony.

"Josie...I..I'm so sorry, please, please don't hate me. You're pretty much all I have left. I can't lose you too." she panted and sniffled.

"Britt, this could have waited. I am not going anywhere. You can obviously see that Lee and I are out here ALONE...can you not?"

"Britt, I don't know what happened between you both, but just go lay down or something. Talk to Jo tomorrow when you are sober."

"No, No, you don't understand. She knows Lee. She knows we slept together and now I am going to lose my only true friend."

"You...you...you..what?" Lee stuttered with a shaky voice. "W..why...would you do that??"

Lee's eyelids fluttered as he shamefully looked at you.

Amy came running in out of breath. "I tried to stop her Josie but she literally pushed me down."

"I.. I had to tell her the truth Lee...she figured it out...I'm so sorry!!" Britt babbled on.

"Jo...why..didn't you tell me? I...I would have told you the truth if you had asked."

"Why didn't you tell me Lee?"

"Jo...it was like a century ago. It never even crossed my mind...not once because it meant nothing to me."

"Can you say the same about Ethan little bother?" Gordon quipped as he wobbled up.

Lee gasped as he stared at him in panic.

"Karma's a bitch huh Dr. Dreamy." Gordon reveled as he sipped his whiskey.

"Shut the fuck up Gordon." you snapped. "Lee? W..what's he talking about?"

You were pretty sure you already knew because the signs were all there that you had witnessed ever since Ethan reared his ugly presence in your life, but you wanted to hear Lee say it.

"Now THAT I didn't know about." Britt chimed in with stunned eyes.

"Lee??" you asked again as your eyes began to sting.

Lee stumbled back a step and stood in a daze as if the wind had been knocked out of him.

"I...I...can't do this...."

Lee lowered his head and walked inside, pushing through the crowd and went into another room. Everyone's head turned to the sound of the door slamming shut.

You also went inside and bee lined straight for Ethan.

"Did you put Gordon up to this?"

"I'm sorry?? What are you talking about?"

"Oh spare me Ethan. You didn't just hear all that?? Everyone else sure did and you have been watching me and Lee all night. Is it true?? You...and Lee?"

"Yes. A long time ago. Lee had a partner....me."

"Not that I would defend my brother..." Gordon cut in as he came up. "But, that's stretching the truth a bit Ethan. You and Lee weren't a thing. More like a drug induced fling at a party one night...and you took advantage of that."

"Yeah Gordon, a party held by you in which those drugs were supplied. You were just so quick to throw your own brother under the bus and now you're standing here blaming me for something he chose to do. I didn't take advantage of anything. He wanted to be with me."

"And now he don't. He wants Josie, which I can't say that I blame him. She's a lot prettier than you." Gordon joked as his eyes rolled up and down your body, right in front of Donna. "And now you're jealous. Did you really try to run him off the road man?"

You gave him an appalling glare for his comment about you and then turned back to Ethan.

"So, Orlando was right about you. You're a liar and a con."

"Look, I'm just trying to set the record straight here ok? Lee and I are good friends and I want him to be happy. I would never try to hurt him! You know nothing about him little girl!" Ethan shouted as he was now getting angry.

"Excuse me?? It seems that you know nothing about him because he obviously don't want you and like Gordon said, you're jealous and trying to worm you're way back into his life. He believes you intentionally tried to run him off the road and that you were trying to hurt me! Not him....and I believe him too. Like you were trying to scare me off.... I mean, why would you even come here after that? Was his physical threat not clear enough for you? because I'm pretty sure that was him uninviting you. I'll tell you right now, I will NOT let you hurt him."

"Is this blonde thing for real with people? I would....neverrr...hurt him! What makes you so special anyways? You're not his girlfriend because he certainly don't call you that. In fact, not once have I seen him even kiss you. You came along at a bad time in his life. He's lonely and confused and isn't ready for you. He didn't even trust you enough to tell you about me...You're the present, not his future. You'll see. I'm even willing to bet he hasn't even slept with you...am I right?!"

"You know what, I don't even wanna hear this, this is disgusting. I can't even look at you."

You spun around and went to find Lee, knowing damn well that Ethan's words were nothing but hot air. You may not have known everything about Lee, but clearly Ethan knew nothing at all about him and what you and he shared.

You found the room Lee went into and stood outside the door for a few moments, trying to compose yourself and understand what just happened....but you couldn't, so you just went in.

He stood in the middle of the dimly lit empty room, his eyes welled up with tears as he gazed at you.

"I...I can explain...."

"Please do...because I feel...god I don't even know what I feel right now. I...I was willing to let the Britt thing go, that's why I didn't say anything...but Ethan? I mean...I had an inkling about it but...I just never thought it could be true...and the things he just told me...I don't know what to do with. How could you do this to me??"

"You know, I am tired of being second guessed and distrusted when I have done absolutely nothing wrong. This is all my past that you weren't a part of."

"When have I ever made you feel like I didn't trust you??"

"Right now, about my god damn life!" Lee shouted and now you were just as pissed off as he was.

"Because you should have told me! Instead, you let me find out like that, in front of all those fucking people."

"You just said you don't care about what happened with Britt...so what's this really about huh? It's because of Ethan, which obviously makes a difference to you and that's why I didn't fucking say anything. You know, I was also humiliated out there but you don't seem to care about that."

"I don't care if you slept with a guy Lee!! It's the secrets! Which everyone always seems to keep from me....which leads to my trust issues! But I can clearly see YOU don't trust me."

"I was ashamed alright??! I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone! Look at everything I have told you. Things that people would consider me crazy for... I..I just didn't know what you would think of me and I was scared I would lose you."

"God Lee, do you really think I am that shallow and judgmental? I have been nothing but kind and understanding with you, even at times when you didn't deserve it!! and I have stood by you through it all!"

"Like right now? because it sure seems that you're not on my side here. Jesus, what the hell did Ethan say to you?"

"I wanna hear what you have to say...but that's right. You don't tell me anything! People that care about each other, talk to each other. We both have pasts and anything that could or would affect you, I have told you about. I don't care who you have slept with but my best friend and some guy that just shows up here wanting to cause us trouble...I think I deserve to know about. I won't do this again Lee. I told myself way before I even met you that I wouldn't, yet here I am being stupid again, setting myself up for more pain...and people, they tried to warn me...but I wouldn't listen because I believed they didn't know you like I do. But it turns out I don't even know you at all...and I won't go any further if this is what it entails. You told me that Elizabeth once told you that you were an accident...maybe I get that now in a sense because I wasn't looking for you...so...you were an accident and I deserve better than this."

"I'm not an accident. We are not an accident. We were meant to find each other. All the signs prove it and you know I never believed in that until you. I deserve better too Jo...I deserve you."

Him telling you that he deserved you after what just happened, made you so angry and you began punching his chest as you cried. He stood there in emotional anguish and took it while he watched your face the entire time. He just wanted to grab you and hold you so tight, even if you fought him....and more than anything, he wanted to tell you how crazy in love with you he was...but something told him not to....that you wouldn't believe him now.

You walked away and stood with your back to him breathing heavily, not knowing what to do. This was killing you, fighting with him. You told yourself you had to let all this go, that Amy was right...Lee was not Gerry, absolutely nothing like him.

Lee came up behind you and reached his trembling hand out to touch you, but he pulled it back before he did, not sure of it was wanted.

"Jo...it was never my intentions to hurt you. I would rather die. I was just...flat out scared. Not everyone would be understanding of my time with Ethan. I've learned things like that the hard way."

"I told you, that's not what this is about." you lowly said, still refusing to turn around.

"I..I know...it's about secrets and trust...Jo, I'll tell you anything you want to know. Just ask me whatever you want to know. We can sit down sometime and I'll tell you my entire life story, although it may put you to sleep."

Lee lightly chuckled but you remained silent and still. He sighed and continued.

"Baby I know you've been scorned really bad before...we both have, but whatever we have here...it's real. I feel it...and I know you feel it too. Please, Jo...don't give up on me...don't give up on us. Now that I have found you, I cannot imagine my world without you in it. Jo, I am so sorry for all of this....so sorry."

You finally turned to face him, dreading to see his beautiful eyes in such pain because you could hear it in his voice.

"What is it that we have here Lee? because I don't know. Actions mean a lot, but words matter too. What are we even doing here?"

Lee peered down at you in confusion. "Jo, what do you mean? I told you I would tell you anything you wanted to know....and I thought telling you that not being able to imagine a world without you spoke volumes. This is about something else, I can feel it. Tell me what Ethan said to you....please."

"Lee...I...it's not about what I want to know...it's about what I want to hear...."

You began to choke up and walked out, remembering how Lee would only get so close to you. Maybe Ethan was right. Maybe you weren't his future.

Lee almost broke down at your departure, trying to understand what you meant.

He knew there was only one other way to get the answers. Ethan...and then he was going to hunt Gordon down for the damage he caused......

#lee pace #leeepfrog #lee pace fanfiction #code blue #jolee #doctors #britt westbourne #gordon clark #donna clark #scoot mcnairy #kelly thiebaud #kerry bishé #julie marie berman

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