~ Making a nest for you
there are nights when I wish
I could go back to my mother’s womb
but in others
most of them, actually
i have the yearn to collect her
body, tired, marked
so dear to me
and shelter it inside my being
I would offer her a chance to
start over
would give her a loving home
would show her everyday that she is loved
would make her feel safe
and then, when she finally grows up
and gives birth to her little girl
she would know how to raise her
in the best way possible
she would be the best mother in the world for her
not that she is not, to me
the most wonderful woman
of all
but I would try to avoid all the wounds
that now burn like a lit candle
the ones that never fully healed and the ones
that were made along the way
I would protect the little angel
with blonde hair
to prevent the girl
from making the mistakes that,
later,
will prove to be the cause of
her many funerals in life,
the fires she creates at every corner
i wonder if she has these
same thoughts
about my grandma.
-Lettie (2022)
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