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illfoandillfie · 3 years

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Pet Names, Double Dates and Other Fiascos

READ PLATONICALLY

Request: SECOND ARO FIC OH MY GOD !!!! maybe them getting a lil dirty and ben really does a number on reader, so he takes her to mcdonalds or sumn and the waiter says something along the lines of “you’re such a cute couple!” and reader gets really uncomfortable with it maybe??? and ben being taking her home and cuddling her PLATONICALLY and he’s like “it’s ok we don’t need to let anyone else’s opinions affect us”

Pairing: Aromantic!Fem!Reader x Ben Hardy

Summary: It's (nearly) all fun and games until someone assumes your relationship is romantic.

Warnings: Smut, kitchen sex, floor sex, oral sex (f receiving), a mild hint at choking, vaguely dom!Ben but not intentionally lmao, discussions of aromanticism and queerplatonic relationships, not as dialogue heavy as the first part though.

Words: 7, 264

A/N: Happy Arospec Awareness Week!! Big thanks to the anon who sent in that request when I asked for ideas for future chapters. I put a little bit of a twist on your idea but it’s fundamentally the same. Also the last scene is one that I’ve been thinking about for literal months now and I finally managed to fit it into a fic!

As always, if you’re curious about anything to do with aromanticism I am very happy to talk about it and answer questions!

Taglist: @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @scorpiogemini

The day had started off well. You woke with Ben tucked up under your arm, his legs curled up towards his chest since you’d stole the covers as you’d slept. Your face was pressed against the back of his neck and you felt him shift as you sighed sleepily and tried to keep from waking. Squeezing your eyes shut and pretending you hadn’t stirred must have worked because the next thing you knew was waking up to an empty bed and tinkly tapping sounds from somewhere else in the apartment. Groggily you shuffled out from the inviting comfort of the mattress, stretched, and pulled down the hem of the shirt you’d slept in to better cover your otherwise bare thighs before following the noises. You found Ben, still in his pyjamas (well, his boxer briefs) in the kitchen, dropping a couple of toasted waffles onto a plate, humming to himself.

“That for me?” you asked, stifling a yawn. “It can be,” he said, passing the plate to you with a quick kiss on your cheek, “There’s some cut up fruit and the maple syrup out on the coffee table and there’s coffee brewing over there,” “Thanks Benny,” “You’re welcome, Puddin’,” “Puddin’?” “I thought it was cute,” “Very cute.” You laughed as you reached for your coffee, unable to help but smile as you left the room. The first few months of your partnership had taken some adjusting and one thing Ben had decided he would do to make you both feel more at home with the dynamic was to come up with some non-romantic based terms of endearment for you. You’d vetoed things like baby and honey straight away, all of them a little too heavily skewed towards romance, or just reminders of past relationships you’d tried to force yourself into, for you to enjoy them. But, as Ben had said, he liked a good pet name, and he’d seemingly been determined to prove as much, constantly coming up with new things to call you. You, never really one for pet names anyway, mostly stuck with Benny or Benjamin if the situation called for something longer but you had a few other go-tos – things like Pet and Blondie as signs of affection, or Handsome and Tiger when you wanted to make him blush.

A few minutes later Ben joined you on the couch, placing his coffee down beside yours, almost spilling it as he watched the news story that was playing. “Remember we’ve got that double date with Jill and Martin this afternoon,” you said, the memory only just coming to you yourself. “Yeah, what time was that?” “Hang on, I’ll check the chat.” You scrolled through the messages on your phone with one hand while you ate with the other, “uhhh right, yeah, meeting at the bowling alley at 1.30.” “Bowling? Good, better than another shitty movie,” You laughed, “hey the last one they picked wasn’t too bad.” “Yeah I know, just not in the mood for it since I’ve been on set all week. I know if I went to the cinema now I’d just get distracted thinking about all the behind the scenes stuff which isn’t ideal for becoming invested in the story. Plus they’re always choosing romcoms, doesn’t that get annoying for you?” “Not really,” you shrugged, “I mean, do I sometimes wish they’d branch out? Sure. But I enjoy romance in fiction I just don’t need it in my real life. Don’t get me wrong though, very happy to do something different this time.” “How long d’you think we’ll be out?” You shrugged, “A few hours maybe?” “We should pop to the shop on the way back then. You need milk and we could get something nice for dinner.” “Sounds good. Does that mean you’re staying over again tonight?” “I was planning to, yeah. Barely saw you last week so I was hoping to spend all weekend with you to make up for it.” “Bet you regret agreeing to go out with them now,” “Kinda. S’pose it’s too late to cancel though,” “Nah you still could but you know they’ll get stroppy about it and we’ll have to go out with them next week. They don’t have any other couple friends since Neil and Percy split and Bianca took her fella overseas.” “Yeah, wasn’t seriously suggesting it.” “What would the plan have been if we did cancel?” Ben chewed a mouthful of fruit thoughtfully, “you, me, your bed. No need to be too quiet since Sophie’s still out,” he glanced at your roommate’s bedroom door, his eyes swinging back to you as he continued, “Or y’know, we could do a puzzle and listen to music all day, have a cat nap after lunch, whatever.” “You’re cute when you’re being all lazy,” “There would be nothing lazy about it thank you very much,” “Cat naps aren’t lazy?” “You know that’s not the part I was talking about,” “It wasn’t? Then what won’t be lazy,” you tried to hold back a giggle in the middle of your faux confusion but broke when Ben blew a raspberry at you in response.

Nothing more was said about cancelling as you finished your breakfast, though truthfully you probably wouldn’t have minded if Ben had cried off sick and rescheduled the double date. But you both decided that Sunday would be a day for just the two of you to make up for having to spend Saturday afternoon with others. Instead, you spoke of the week just passed and commented on the news still playing on the TV. When you were finished (Ben using the last corner of one of his waffles to swipe the remnant syrup from his plate) you stood and stacked the sticky dishes in your arms. Ben collected the coffee cups and a few other assorted dishes from the previous night, leading the way towards the kitchen and the dishwasher. He loaded his small collection onto the shelves before turning to grab the top plate from the pile you held. A noise of disgust rose from his throat as you held the plate out and he miscalculated the trajectory, his palm landing in a puddle of syrup and fruit juice. You were torn between laughing at his expression and taking the opportunity to toy with him a little but, always ready to tease him, your desire to see him blush won out. Trying not to smile too much, you reached forward and wrapped your hand around his wrist, pulling his palm closer so you could lick the sweet syrup from his skin. Predictably his cheeks turned pink and he pulled his lip between his teeth as you let him go with a laugh. “Bet you’re really wishing we didn’t have to go out now, huh Tiger?” Ben didn’t respond but he did react, his eyes locked on you as he swiped his fingers along the same plate and held them out in offering. Not quite sure where things were heading but very keen on finding out, you leaned forward and let your lips part slightly. He took the action for what it was, an invitation, and trailed his fingertips across your lower lip before slipping them between the two. He watched closely as you sucked his fingers deeper, using your tongue to lick up the sweet residue. There was still an element of novelty with this aspect of your partnership. Still part of you that was intensely aware that it was Ben’s fingers in your mouth. There wasn’t any hesitation though, hadn’t been since that first time when you’d both had to psych yourselves up to actually look at each other naked. But there was a part of your brain that was almost surprised when you found yourselves at the edge of a sexual situation. You suspected he was similarly discombobulated by how easy it was for you to end up there, how frequently playful teasing and friendly jokes turned into hands grasping at bed sheets and breathless moans against sweat-slick skin. He pulled his fingers free from your lips, unwilling or perhaps unable to shift his gaze away from the thin string of saliva that connected them like some kind of erotic spider web that you were both already caught in. You waited to see what he’d do next, feeling your heart race in the pregnant pause so full of potential. And then he moved. You laughed as he grabbed you around the waist and lifted you at the same moment he stepped towards the bench, your legs instinctively wrapping around him. He kissed you too, hungrily, as if it were impossible to resist. You’d looked down at him and suddenly been pulled towards each other, lips meeting with all the force and attraction of a magnetic field. Usually, he would have had a hand against the back of your head or your jaw but carrying you meant both his hands were already occupied so instead you substituted your own, tangling your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck to keep him from pulling away too far. As soon as you were safely positioned on the edge of the bench though his hands were free to fall elsewhere. One pressed against the small of your back as the other squeezed your thigh, encouraging you to keep your legs spread. Not that you could have closed them with Ben standing between them and not that the thought had even crossed your mind.

If you’d had all day Ben probably would have taken his time with you. Despite what he’d said earlier, you’d discovered Ben had a soft spot for slow and sensual intimacy. Making out that gradually built to passionate kiss-filled sex, foreplay that included soft caresses and whispered praise, anything that let him explore your body in intricate detail with his hands and lips. You’d been with guys like that before and had hated their insistence on linking hands and kissing you slowly. Those relationships never lasted long but with Ben it felt different, it felt good. Maybe it was because he knew you weren’t on board with overtly romantic acts and respected those boundaries you’d talked about so you never felt as if he were pushing you into a roll you didn’t enjoy. Or maybe he was just a better lover than they had been. Either way, it came to same result. You still preferred something less gentle and more energetic, though you felt you better understood the appeal of being held so close and kissed so tenderly. But with only a few hours before you’d have to start getting ready, Ben was inclined to speed things up a little. His hand quickly slipped up your thigh to press against your pussy, the cotton knickers you’d slept in the only thing keeping him from direct contact. You broke the kiss suddenly, the smacking sound loud in the small room, and dipped your head to press your lips to the notch between his clavicles. In response, Ben lifted his chin, exposing more of his throat to you and you took the chance to playfully nip at the junction where his neck and shoulder met. “Oi, no marks,” he said lwoly as you moved to kiss back up towards his jaw. “Afraid I’ll brand you with my initials?” “If you could legibly write your initials in hickeys I’d put up with whatever teasing the makeup ladies gave me,” “I’ll give it a crack then shall I?” Before you could so much as flick your tongue over his skin, Ben had raised a hand and placed it over your mouth to keep you from testing our your writing abilities, “Don’t think theres enough time, Sugar, but if you really want to I’ll let you try tonight, on my thigh where no one is likely to see it.” “Make it your arse and you’ve got a deal,” you said though it was a little muffled by his palm. “Fine,” he laughed, drawing his hand away, “But then I get to try it on you too,” You nodded, grinning, and then both fell into giggles, leaning against each other’s shoulders. This was what you’d hoped for when Ben had first approached you with the idea of being partners, what you’d been afraid you’d never actually find. Someone who would follow your tangential jokes even if it delayed sex. Someone you could be yourself with. You were distracted from the thought as Ben pressed his lips to your shoulder over the sleeve of your shirt. “Should I continue?” he asked, still smiling though softer, his fingertips lightly dancing over the crease of your thigh. “I’d be offended if you didn’t” “Can’t have that,” he leaned in to catch your lips once again, at the same time resuming stroking you over your panties so that you felt all the air leave your lungs in a rush. It felt good but you need more and so shifted your hips, trying to press yourself harder against his fingers. To get more leverage and better brace yourself as your centre of gravity changed, you dropped a hand behind you. Intuitively, Ben shifted the hand on your back higher and closer to your side to help keep you steady, the other still drawing lines along your clothed slit. You gasped as his thumb took up residence against your clit, rubbing it firmly so a visible damp patch began to form on your panties.

Ben grinned at you as your breath came harder and dragged his thumb back down away from your clit towards the leg of your underwear. Still watching your reactions, he twisted his fingers up under the material, gently tracing them along the same path they’d just followed only now he could feel your wetness directly. “I’ve got an idea,” he said, leaning close to your ear, as he circled your entrance with a fingertip before pressing it into you, “of how I’d like to fuck you right now. It might take a little flexibility on your part though. I mean, nothing too much, just getting your legs up on my shoulders.” Curious, and more than a little distracted by the addition of a second finger inside you, you nodded, “Sounds fun.” “Knew you’d say that. Just tell me if it’s too uncomfortable,” “Will do.” You leaned forward as Ben moved back a little, taking his fingers with him, giving you enough room to drop your hand to his crotch and grasp his stiff length through his undies, “Just get on with it.” “Puddin’ was too nice a nickname for you. Sugar too.” he gasped as you dragged your palm along his length and back again. “What’s the matter, Tiger?” “Maybe I should call you Tiger, if you’re going to keep grabbing my cock like that,” You laughed and let him go, leaning back on your palm again, “Tigress? Whatever, doesn’t matter. Are you going to fuck me or not?” “No I just wanted to get my dick hard for no reason,” he said sarcastically, poking his tongue out at you as he pushed his underwear down. “You’re such a –” you broke off with a sharp gasp as Ben tugged your underwear aside and pressed into you without warning, “dork.” Ben chucked and leaned in to kiss you quickly before readjusting your position a little by pulling you closer to him so your arse was right against the edge of the bench. Slowly he rolled his hips against you, pulling back and thrusting forward again, finding a rhythm that worked. You leaned back on both palms as Ben grabbed you by the waist, the other resting on your knee to keep it pressed against his side. “This feel alright?” he asked as he gave another thrust, hitting a spot deep inside you. “Mmhmm,” you nodded, able to feel yourself growing wetter with each stroke of his cock. “What about this?” Ben shifted first one of your legs and then the other to his shoulders, encouraging you to bend them at the knee. His hands moved to your sides, fingertips digging into your back as he pressed you even closer. The effect was that you felt as if you were almost folded in half but it wasn’t too uncomfortable. There was an almost weightless feeling to it and any slight awkwardness you felt with your chest meeting your thighs was a small price to pay for just how good Ben felt once again moving inside you. You tightened your fingers against the benchtop, wishing there was something you could grab onto as your whole body rocked with each of his thrusts, the position allowing him to penetrate you deeply, continuously brushing against a number of spots that sent electric spikes of pleasure through you. “Fuck,” was about all you could think to say. “That a good fuck?” Ben questioned, voice gruff with his exertions. “Yeah, yes, fuck, so good,” “So you like when I do this?” You let out a soft moan as he roughly fucked into you again, timing it just right. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he half laughed, turning his head to kiss your leg before leaning forward to catch your lips again. After that there wasn’t much room for talking. Ben, having assured himself that you were happy, speeded up his rhythm, clutching you tightly to keep your legs from slipping off his shoulders. His breathing became rougher, matching your own, as he drove into you, though he still kissed you as much as he could, panting against your lips, swallowing your moans and pushing whatever air he had into your lungs.

You could feel your orgasm bubbling up, like a pot of water on the verge of boiling, but knew Ben would reach his first, recognising his expression as the one he wore when he was trying to hold back from the edge. “Fu-ck you’re s-so tight,” he grunted, squeezing his eyes shut as he leaned his forehead against yours, “gonna have to pull out soon,” You could feel him pulling away and tightened your calves on either side of his neck in an effort to stop him, needing just a little more to reach your own release. “Not helping,” he groaned, suddenly unable to hold off any longer, “Shit. Y/N.” You whined as he stilled to shoot his release over your walls. “Jesus,” he said a little breathlessly, as he pulled out, your underwear slipping back over you, and rubbed his neck absentmindedly, “Didn’t expect that to finish me off. Did you…?” You shook your head, letting your leg slip to be caught in the crook of Ben’s arm. “Well let’s fix that, shall we,” he said, already letting you go to bend forward, his face right between your thighs. You felt a puff of his hot breath against you as he hooked his index finger into the crotch of your knickers, pulling it aside, and then his tongue was on you, lapping up your arousal and coming to rest against your clit. He set up camp there, focusing all his attention on the small nub. You let yourself drop back so you were holding yourself up on one elbow, your other hand on the back of Ben’s head, tugging on his hair as he drew a series of moans from you. With a particularly firm suck, you felt your cunt pulse and something warm and wet ran from you, dripping over the edge of the bench onto the cupboard door. You had an idea what it was so it surprised you when Ben released your clit to lick between your lips, catching it with his tongue and spreading it along your slit. “We taste good together,” he mumbled, going in to trace the same path over again, greedily licking up the mixture. You swore under your breath, feeling yourself right on the edge of your orgasm, unspeakably turned on by Ben lapping up the load he’d just left in you. Sensing how close you were he dragged his tongue over your clit again, quickly sliding two fingers into you to help you along. You whined his name as he pushed you over the edge, continuing to pump his fingers into you as he again sucked at your clit, not stopping until he was sure it had worked. “Thank you,” you said as he straightened up again, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “You’re such a dork,” he laughed as he kissed you again, tracing his tongue over yours. The man clearly wanted you lightheaded from lack of air. “Shut up,” you pushed yourself to sit up straight again, expecting Ben to step away and let you hop down from the bench. He didn’t though, instead absentmindedly toying with the leg of your underwear as his gaze fell to your lips. “Seriously?” Ben shrugged, “Eating you out made me hard again. And,” he quickly ran his fingers along the edge of the bench, collecting some of the mess you’d left there, “I think it’s only fair you should taste us too,” If he’s said it less earnestly you might have batted his hand away and laughed off the suggestion but something about his tone made you grab his wrist to pull his fingers towards your mouth. He hadn’t been wrong, the mix of you both did taste pretty good, though you’d already got a hint of it as he’d kissed you. “Good girl,” he breathed out, eyes heavy with lust, “think you’re up for more?” “Can we move elsewhere? The edge of the counter is digging into me.” “Okay,” Ben began tugging your underwear down and kicked off his own before pulling your shirt over your head, making you laugh. He Helped you stand and then immediately pushed you to the floor. For a moment you thought he was suggesting you give him a blowjob and were about to question him but half a second later he was following you down, laying down and pulling you on top. “I meant like the bed or the couch at least,” you said somewhere between incredulity and amusement. “Too far,” he grunted, bucking his hips to encourage you to mount him properly, “need you now.” You rolled your eyes as you sank down onto his dick, “Do I actually get to cum this time or…?” “Only if you move,” Ben growled as he grasped your hips and pulled you down onto him, making you cry out at the unexpectedly sudden sensation of being filled. He let you ride him for a bit, alternating between squeezing your thigh as he rubbed his thumb over your clit and cupping your breasts, teasing your nipples as he encouraged you to fuck yourself on his cock faster. You kept to the same steady pace though, intending to drag it out a little, make him wait. But it wasn’t long before he got fed up with the deliberately slow pace you’d cultivated. Without warning you found yourself on your back, Ben grasping your thighs as he kneeled over you, pulling your hips up a little so he could fuck you the way he wanted. Your voice shook as you moaned and writhed in his shadow, your own fingers dancing over your clit to keep building your orgasm. “Isn’t that better?” he said roughly, laughing a little as you nodded your agreement, “Making me wish I had cancelled our plans. Could stay in your pussy all day.” You whimpered and rubbed your clit harder. “C’mon Pumpkin, so close aren’t ya,” You squeezed your eyes shut, moaning when you finally tipped over the edge. But that didn’t stop Ben. He waited until your orgasm had subsided and then pushed your legs wide and up into the air so he could lay directly on top of you as he continued to pound you. Your voice shook as a moan was pulled from your throat and you squirmed beneath him, feeling yourself once again being drawn towards release. There was something about his weight pressing down on you, his breath against your ear. Something about how close he seemed, almost panting as his hips stuttered in and out of the rhythm he was desperately trying to hold on to. He mouthed at your neck as you tilted your head to accommodate him, reaching a hand down to squeeze his arse cheek. You were sore from every other way he’d fucked you, tired from the two orgasms he’d already wrung from you, and yet the thought of stopping him, of ending the incredible pleasure you felt at his hands, was the furthest thing from your mind. A scream caught in your throat as he seemed to press you even harder into the floor, your legs shaking in the air as he grit his teeth and grunted with each harsh drive into you. And then he came, gasping against your throat as he felt you cum too, finally releasing the scream you’d been holding onto until the noise turned to breaths so ragged they felt like sobs.

Ben kissed your throat and then your jaw as he came back to earth, still laying on you. “How was that?” he asked softly when you’d remained quiet for a while. You drew in a deep breath, “Pum-Pumpkin?” “What?” “You called me fucking Pumpkin of all things, while trying to get me off?” “So?” “Jesus Ben,” you half-heartedly swatted at his side, “you’re lucky I was so close that it didn’t matter otherwise I might have laughed and completely lost the orgasm.” Ben joined in your laughter, the sensation of his shaking body on top of yours slightly odd but mostly quite comforting. Until he shifted his hips without thinking and made you wince. “Sorry,” he said, pressing his lips to yours again as if to kiss away the discomfort before he gingerly pulled out of you and sat back on his knees, “But you did cum that time, right?” “I think you know I did,” you sighed, already able to see what was coming, as you let your legs drop to the floor. “So wait, how many times exactly?” You sighed and shook your head slightly. “Because if my maths is right, I think we got you to three times. Once on the bench and twice on the floor. One plus two is three, yes?” “Yes that’s how basic addition works Ben,” “And who was it again that got you to three orgasms? Was it,” he pointed a finger as his one chest, “Moi?” “Alright asshole, you’re very impressive and a somewhat decent shag,” “I think you could be a little more grateful considering that performance. Might have been my best ever moves,” You pushed Ben in the middle of the chest, exaggeratedly rolling your eyes but, truthfully you were inclined to agree that it had been his best performance yet, at least in your experience. “Here let me help you,” he chuckled as you tried to stand, almost falling over as your legs shook. Quickly, Ben pushed himself to his feet and then offered you a hand up too, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you steady. “Thanks,” “I hope I haven’t made it too hard for you to walk. Wouldn’t want to throw off your bowling cos you were fucked so right.” “Jesus Christ,” you couldn’t help but laugh.

The rest of the time you had before you had to leave was spent tidying up the kitchen, cleaning up the evidence of the mornings activities in case your roommate got home before you, washing up and getting ready to go. Which is really when things started to go downhill. If you’d realised you might have told yourself to stay home, come up with a quick excuse to get out of it and just played video games with Ben for the rest of the day or something. But there was no way to know what was coming so you didn’t. You talked happily as you got into Ben’s car (which was already parked on the street), excited to see your friends and looking forward to the afternoon.

The double date itself was quite fun, although draining. There was always an element of playing pretend at these sorts of occasions. Not that you minded so much. It was either play up the romance of your relationship or have to explain what you were to everyone and a few hours of pretending Ben was your boyfriend was honestly much simpler. At least bowling was better than the cinema. The first time you’d gone on a double date to a movie you’d sat down beside Ben, the popcorn you were sharing balanced on the arm rest between you. Martin and Jill had raised their armrest and were virtually sitting on top of each other, hands entwined. Which would have been fine except Martin had leaned over and said, “you know these things move” and looked expectantly at you. Ben and you had shared a glance and then tried to say you were both fine with the space but they’d given you matching looks that said they thought you were being weird or prudish or judging their willingness to cuddle in public. So you’d relented and shifted the armrest so you could spend the next two hours sitting with Ben’s arm around your shoulders, both of you more tense about the situation than you ever would have been if you’d just been allowed to sit in your seats like normal. Things had improved a bit since then. Ben had told you that one night when you’d gone out to a bar together, Martin had pulled him aside as asked why he never kissed you properly. Ben had shrugged and said he didn’t like PDAs, that he didn’t want photos to spread or anything like that, especially since it was still so new, and Martin had accepted it. They began to see that your ways of being affectionate were quieter, stealing sips from each other’s drinks, a warm hand against a knee, dumb nicknames that made you both laugh. Even if Jill did sometimes still try to convince you that there was nothing wrong with snogging in the middle of a busy street. Nonetheless you never felt fully able to relax when it was just the four of you. Always conscious of how they saw you, always worried that they’d decide you weren’t being affectionate enough and would tell everyone else you were going through a rough patch which would lead to more scrutiny. While at the same time worrying that one of them would start asking how serious it was between you and Ben, were you thinking about the future? Could you see yourselves moving in together? Was he the one? And it took a lot of energy to constantly be alert about what you were saying, always careful to not accidentally give away the secret truth of the situation. Bowling was fun though and less pressure than other double dates you’d been on. You could get away with not holding hands or sitting on Ben’s lap since everyone was standing up frequently and it didn’t make sense to be on top of one another. You could share small pecks on the lips or else tight hugs to celebrate strikes. And Ben made sure to tease you for missed pins, just like he always had, with a few added silly nicknames. He called you his sweet little hotdog after a particularly bad gutter shot which had made you laugh so hard you choked on your drink, and made Jill give him a disapproving glance. He’d smoothed it over by letting her overhear him saying he loved you, whispering the platonically just for you.

By the time Jill had been declared the winner of the game, you were ready to head home and spend a night forwarding Ben weird videos and dumb memes. Ready to be allowed to just exist without needing to be romantically linked to anyone. But it wasn’t quite to be. Martin made the suggestion that all of you should head to McDonalds for dinner and before you knew it you were standing in line, waiting for the kid at the cash register to serve you. You leaned your head on Ben’s shoulder as you stared at the menu, and vaguely wondered how someone working in a fast food joint could be so bright and bubbly. Right up until Ben nudged you and asked what you wanted. “Um, can I get a quarter pounder and a frozen coke, thanks.” “And?” Ben supplied. “And what?” “Y/N I know you want dessert, get dessert.” “And an Oreo McFlurry,” you smiled and bumped Ben’s shoulder with yours as he laughed and finished paying. “You guy’s make a cute couple,” the girl who’d served you said, eyes following the path of Ben’s gaze to you, still smiling. She seemed to realise what she’d said, her ears turning red, but Ben thanked her and added, “I think I have to agree,” as he squeezed your hip, before moving away so Jill and Martin could order. You’d smiled at her too but it wasn’t quite genuine.

It wasn’t that you weren’t used to it, people assuming you and Ben were in fact a couple. You were. One or two weeks after you’d first agreed to try out being queerplatonic partners, most of your friends had put two and two together and worked out that something was going on between you. Of course they didn’t know you were aromantic and they probably didn’t have any idea what a QPR was so they’d really added two and two and got five but you weren’t about to correct them. As you’d said to Ben, it was too much too soon to do that. Maybe if the QPR thing worked out long term, maybe then you could tell them. And besides, they weren’t exactly wrong anyway. They’d originally assumed you and Ben were just hooking up after Martin had dropped in to pick up something he’d left at Ben’s and had seen you spread out on Ben’s couch with sex hair and a rather large hickey on your neck and Ben’s sweater hanging off your shoulder. He’d asked Ben who’d just shrugged in response and said it wasn’t a big deal. You estimated it took about a minute and a half to reach everyone else. The next time you’d gone out as a group you’d felt them all watching you and Ben closely, trying to determine if Martin with bullshitting them all or not. They’d all decided it was just sex though. Until you were clearly still together a month later and they decided it had to be serious since Ben had never successfully fucked a girl for that long without catching feelings. That was when they started referring to you as boyfriend and girlfriend. That was also when the comments about how cute you were or how they’d always known you’d get together had first started. The first few times you’d heard it, it felt weird but you figured that was just because it was you and Ben and you were still working out how to be partners without the romance. You’d been in relationships before though and didn’t have any major objections to anything they said so you found it fairly easy to deal with and mostly you didn’t notice it anymore.

Except now it was bothering you. Something about the girl’s comment had rubbed you the wrong way. Which made you feel bad because she was just a kid with a shitty minimum wage job who didn’t know you from Adam. She had no idea. She was just trying to say something nice to a couple of strangers. You supposed your dislike of the comment probably had something to do with spending all afternoon putting on the romantic act for the benefit of your friends. Maybe even something about the sex from earlier. Probably just exhaustion from everything, a shorter fuse. It could even just be PMS though you’d have to check how far off your next period was to be sure. Whatever the reason it felt…not wrong exactly just off. You stayed quiet during most of the meal, aware you weren’t being great company and aware that Ben had realised something was wrong since he kept glancing at you when the other two weren’t looking. “Y/N,” Jill’s voice cut through your thoughts, “Still with us?” “Yeah,” you said, pulling a smile onto your face, “sorry, just a bit tired. Didn’t sleep well last night,” That statement was met by high pitched oohing noises and Martin jokily reprimanding Ben for keeping you up. You forced yourself to laugh with them, “Not like that you pervs. Ben was filming a night scene yesterday so didn’t actually get to mine until what,” you looked to Ben for confirmation, “One-thirty was it?” “Something like that. I don’t know I fell asleep almost as soon as I put my head down.” “Me, not so much,” you shrugged, “It’s all just catching up with me now.” They accepted that excuse without question and didn’t aim too many more comments in your direction, letting you finish your food without having to keep your mind on their conversation. And pretty soon you were hugging them goodbye and promising you’d organise the next date as Martin told Ben to get you home to bed before you fell asleep in your ice cream.

Ben waited until you were safely back inside your apartment before he asked if you were okay. “We were meant to get milk,” you sighed, trying to push away the annoyingly persistent discomfort. “I’ll go out later and get some. Or we can get Sophie to bring some back when she comes home. Are you okay though?” Unsure if this was a situation where you’d want space, Ben hovered at a respectful distance until you stepped in close and leaned your head against his chest. As soon as he knew you wanted him there he wrapped his arms tightly around you, “What’s wrong?” “Not sure. Think it all just got a bit much.” “How do you mean?” You shrugged as much as his embrace would allow and talked against his chest as you tried your best to explain how flat you felt, “I think the girl who served us was just like the straw that broke the camel’s back, y’know.” “Did me agreeing with her make things worse?” You shook your head, “Don’t think so. I knew you meant it in a different way to her. Besides, the other two were in earshot so there wasn’t much else you could say.” “You know that what everyone else thinks of us doesn’t change anything about what we have, right, or what we mean to each other. It doesn’t change who you are.” You didn’t mean to say it but the words had escaped before you could stop them, “Wouldn’t it be easier if it did though.” “But then you wouldn’t be you and I love you, platonically.” You smiled and nodded as you stepped back a little, though Ben’s arms wouldn’t let you go too far, “I know, thank you. And I’m fine, just having a bit of an off afternoon.” “Are you sure? Is there anything else I can do to help?” “No, you’ve been perfect.” You leaned up to give him a quick kiss, “And I know I’m being stupid about it. I knew what I was signing up for when I decided not to come out to them. Besides, being back home with you has definitely made me feel better already.” “Do you want a cuppa or anything?” “Nah, think I might just go lie down and read for bit. Decompress a little, y’know.” “Okay. Give me a shout if you want anything, yeah,” he pressed a kiss to your temple and give you an extra squeeze before he let you go.

Slowly you headed to your bedroom, kneeling down at your bookshelf and running your fingers along the spines until you found the one you wanted. That particular book had seen better days. It’s spine was cracked, the image on the cover peeling away from the cardboard underneath. More than one page had begun to fray around the edges like an ancient treasure map in a cartoon, with little triangles missing and the corners permanently creased where they’d been dog eared a hundred times. But as you settled into the bed, Ben’s pillow still smelling faintly of his hair pomade, you began to feel more yourself. Ben was right. What other people thought of your relationship didn’t matter. He was still your Ben, the same Ben who’s hoodie had been living in your cupboard for years now because he spent so much time at yours anyway it just made sense to keep a spare there. The same Ben who’d bought you your favourite pair of sunglasses when you’d left your old ones at home by accident. The same Ben who’d gradually been reading his way through your entire bookshelf rather than buying his own paperbacks. You had too much history there and too much love for each other for anyone else’s opinions to matter. And your partnership was good. It made you happy so it had to be good.

The time passed quickly as you read so when you looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps and saw that a couple of hours had passed, you were a little taken aback. Ben poked his head round the corner and then stepped through the doorway when he saw you looked better. “Nice to see you smiling again,” he said softly as he crawled up beside you. Without thinking you lifted your arm so he could snuggle against you, his head on your chest. “What’re you reading?” “First Test by Tamora Pierce. First book in her Protector of the Small series.” “What’s it about?” “A girl training to become a knight. Gran bought it for me as a kid while we were on a holiday at the seaside.” Ben glanced at the worn pages, “Do you reread it a lot?” “Yeah a bit. The main character, Kel, is like the only aromantic character I know of so she’s kinda important to me.” “The main character’s aro?” “I mean, not explicitly. It was published in ’99 and the terminology to describe aro experiences didn’t really start being used until like the late 2000s and even then only in certain communities online. But Tamora Pierce did answer some questions on her website and said that as she was writing the series Kel became less and less interested in romance and sex so even though she didn’t have the words for it back then, she would consider Kel aro and probably ace too. And I mean, rereading them I definitely feel an aro sort of reaction to a lot of the romance stuff, even when Kel does start kissing boys and all that.” Ben leaned back to better see your face, “Will you read to me?” You leaned down to kiss him, unhurriedly, softly, letting your lips linger on his. “Is that a yes?” “That was a sorry I’ve been weird this evening kiss actually.” “Don’t worry about it,” he said simply, snuggling back down, his head once again resting on your chest and his arm thrown over your waist. You adjusted your grip on the book and began to read from where you’d left off, one hand running absentmindedly through his hair, both of you sighing softly as you relaxed into each other.

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy smut #ben hardy imagine #idk i hope its okay #also if you have any more idea for potential future chapters about these two send them my way #i like having an aro character to come back to every now and again lmao

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like-rain-or-confetti · 3 years

Text

Ghosts are Guilt? (Alec Volturi x Reader)

WARNING: Dark Themes!

Alec stared you down. You were sitting on the floor, your back to him. What immediately caught his eyes were the matching hand prints around your upper arms. They were a deep purple, and perfect imprints of hands. However they weren't from him. Despite that, you hadn't said a word since the incident and no one talked about what happened, seemingly carrying on as normal- or at least trying to. Everyone but you.

This was how you spent your days, sitting around never making eye contact and never saying a word. It had been a situation that very quickly became out of hand. You had tried to escape just as you had many times before and Alec as well at the Volturi had enough. Suddenly, Demetri grabbed you tightly, and much like he had done many times before to receptionists. He tossed you into a near by wall. It wasn't too far of a distance but you had hit your head pretty hard. Seemingly the point was made because you never tried to escape again. Although you also never said another word.

Alec did everything he could possibly think of to provoke you to speak to him. At first he let you sulk. He was determined to beat you at your own game...but you never let up. Alec tried to talk to you. No response. He got angry. Nothing. No matter how gentle or aggressive he was, you offered no response and continued to look dazed, as though not very present.

It was difficult to determine if you were more injured than thought and that's what provoked your behavior but as time passed, it seemed more likely that you were trying to punish everyone. Regardless, it had been weeks and Alec had about enough.

"You know, I've tried to be nice." Alec began. "Even felt sympathy for you. I was concerned when you got hurt. Yet this is the exact reason why you got hurt. This stubbornness, the sheer inability to do as your told got you in that situation. I told you not to try this, that you were lucky you were getting all these chances. Now here you sit, like a spoiled child in silence until you get your own way. What do you want!?" Alec began to raise his voice. You kept your back to him, in the same place on the floor you had been. "If you want to continue spending your days sulking like a child, you do that. The rest of us will be moving on without you!" He snapped.

After his outburst, Alec felt the anger wash away. He caught sight of the book you had left on his desk. He couldn't help but note that the book still lay open where you had last left it before the incident. You hadn't touched it since.

Alec caught on that something was wrong when four days passed and you hadn't moved. Even he had to leave the room to feed yet you hardly moved an inch from where you had sat previously. Furthermore, no one acknowledged you, no one wondered why you hadn't left the room in days. Soon enough, that day began to linger in his mind more than he'd have liked to admit.

“You know I wasn't just a space in your head. I am the flesh and bone and I bleed like the rest.” Something was off in your tone, but Alec couldn't place it. You had turned to look at him and were standing, despite not making any movement to do so previously. "What?" Alec asked quietly. You simply tilted your head, jaw clenched and staring at him. Your expression was almost expectant? However Alec had no idea what you expected from him. He ignored your words. "So you do know how to speak." Alec said icily. You looked at Alec, almost expectantly, with cold eyes. A stare that made it clear you'd hold no prisoners, show no mercy. "How long are we going to do this?" You asked. "How long are you going to pretend that I'm in this room, when we both know where i actually am?" Alec was taken aback, processing your words when his memory interrupted his confusion. The grate being opened that day. "They...they're not breathing." Alec said in disbelief. Demetri looked down at your body. Aro was summoned. "Get Chelsea." Aro said lightly. Alec shook away the thoughts.

“Erasing all your memories? Darling, they won't go so easily.” You chuckled darkly before scoffing. Alec would have to do better than that. As if you'd allow him to forget. Alec remembered Demetri dragging your body to the open grate. Just himself, Aro and Demetri present. His memory was interrupted with a scoff. "Oh come on Alec. See all those little lies, chase them away. Like you did the butterflies when you were human. The butterfly lies- chase them away. Be honest. You were never a liar, don't start now." You were right. Jane and Marcus were there too. Alec did nothing to stop Demetri. He watched it happen, like everyone else. Suddenly a whimper rang out in his ears. "I'm sorry!" He recognised your voice immediately.

Horror rushed though him and you seemed to sense it just as quickly. "Don't stop now." You smirked at him. "The Volturi don't give second chances. Remember?" There was a heavy silence between you. "What? Don't tell me you're remorseful now. I deserved it! Wasn't it satisfying hearing my skull cave in?" "Stop it!" Alec said quickly, your words reminding him of the crunch. "So you do feel guilt?" You laughed at Alec before taking a breath. "You know, I told you something once. Something I had heard. 'Ghosts are guilt.' Perhaps you took it more to heart than you thought." You tilted your head. "Are you trying to tell me you're a ghost?" Alec asked quietly and you snorted. "Of course not! You don't believe in them." “Does that matter?” Alec whispered. “Right now it does.” You responded. “So do you?” “No.” Alec said quietly. “Then think, why could i be here?” You leaned forward slightly. “I don’t know.” “You do.” You said flatly. “We both do. I know that you know. You just don’t want to think about it.”

There was a steady silence. “Where am I?” You asked. “In our room.” Alec responded with a frown. “Really? It’s colder than I remember.” You said casually. Somehow that last part didn't sit well with Alec. As though tugging on his mind but whatever it was, he didn't want to think about it. Not even a little. "I wouldn't know. I don't feel the cold...but there hasn't been a shift in temperature." Alec wanted to press you on the 'remember' part but before he could entertain the idea. You spoke up. "Oh, another symptom of your bad luck I suppose." Alec spared you a glance, thinking for a moment. "Immortality? That isn't bad luck." You wore a skeptical expression before challenging him. “Isn’t it bad luck? Isn’t it a curse? You’re forced to sit here, watch the rest of us come and go as the world changes for better or worse- the only consistent thing being that it’s never the same as it was in your time. You’re the permanent outsider, by choice, living to hide at that. So perhaps you’re not content with immortality. Instead, you’re sitting there, forcing yourself to believe it will be fine. The next century might be your lucky moment.” "Of course you wouldn't have a single idea what it is like to be immortal." Alec scoffed coldly. "I know what it is to be stuck. You made sure of that. Even then, I left you in the end. You let him rob me of tomorrow and the days after that." "What are you talking about?" Alec asked, getting increasingly annoyed by the guilt bubbling inside him, slowly rising. “Maybe for you there are countless tomorrows, but you stole mine. This day, has been endless to me. Days have passed for you but that’s how time works when you’re alive right? I am trapped in a very long day.” You sighed before narrowing your eyes on Alec, leaning forward again. "You know I never made it back to this room. So why don’t you say where (Y/N) really is?” As his mind flashbacks to the throne room, he couldn't help but notice you had spoken in the third person.

As though hearing his thoughts, you laughed with a condescending shake of your head. "Seriously? Catch up, Alec. You have all the pieces. So put them together." Alec hit a mental wall, unwilling to think back to the day just so that you could torture him. Your next words shook him to his core. “I’m you. Everything I say, isn’t (Y/N). You said it yourself, you said you don’t believe in ghosts. Everything we talk about, comes from your head and yours alone. These are your thoughts Alec. Although it seems that day never ended for us, so until you face this. I am (Y/n). Be honest with yourself and you’ll be rid of me...of (Y/N).” You smiled at him, a menacing smile. “So why don’t you say where (Y/N) really is?” Alec remembered it clearly.

The sound your body made, the thud as you hit the bottom...the bottom of the drain. "You left them down there. They are there right now. In the dark, in the cold. They're down there decaying away until those very strong chemicals eat away at them. Until there is nothing left of course. Just like the rest of them. If there is one thing we can say, at least it's consistent. All the humans end up down there in the end." You looked at him, or rather, he looked at himself. The one before him, retained your image despite the revelation. He wanted to pretend it was you. He wanted to pretend that he wasn't alone with the guilt. "There it is." You sighed. "The painful guilt. Once you realise what you've done, the consequences roll in. Here it is, our regret and guilt. The constant reminder of our (Y/N) and what we did. We let it happen. We're just as terrible." You rose to a stand. "Although we deserve this at the very least. We left (Y/N) in the dark and the cold down there...can't help but wonder if the chemicals got to them yet." You whispered the last part with a pained look. A reflection to the pain Alec was feeling. "This is the difficult part but it'll pass. They'll just be a memory soon. A memory we cant forget...everyone else can though. The others already have moved on." Alec winced slightly, recalling how no one, not even once, even mentioned you. “So it’s just you and me then.” You wore a small but tired smile. “Or...just you.” Marcus sat on his throne, silent as always. His brothers were talking away about matters he simply didn’t care about. His stare didn’t falter, but a small ghost of a grimace grew upon his face as though it pained him to look at the darkened, empty corner of the throne room. Although, for Marcus, it wasn’t so empty.

You and Didyme stood side by side, slightly tilted towards each other as though in conversation, all the while staring at him and unblinking. Both of you had wide grins on your faces. You had dark bruising around your upper arms and were very pale. Your eyes and cheeks sunken in slightly. Didyme had cracks along her neck that were so long they met her face and chest. Other than that, Didyme didn’t have a single hair out of place. You, on the other hand, looked disheveled. It was disturbing and how he wished you both would stop grinning at him. Didyme’s smile used to be a pleasant, as was yours upon occasion but this time, he wanted nothing more than for you both to stop smiling. It was as though you both were mocking him. Enjoying his guilt. He felt guilt that he couldn’t save Didyme and then he felt guilt that he didn’t save you. He allowed Alec to lose a mate and feel the suffering he had for all those years. How could he ever begin to forgive himself?

#twilight #volturi #the volturi #reader #alec volturi #marcus volturi #one shot #oneshot

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 3 years

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Hi, it is another aro confusing about romantic attraction again :))). So Im aroflux, and I think that I have romantic attraction like a few days in a month, however I still kinda confuse about the definition of it therefore kinda make it hard to identify my attraction?

Whenever I feel my so-called romo attraction for someone, I often feel hot and blushy, and a bit giddy BUT i cant imagine myself dating them or want to date them. Like I cringe whenever I try to imagine it doing anything romo or kissing. May be it is because most of my fleeting "crushes" last too short (maximum is not fully a week) and too unexpected. Or may be cause most of them are actors or celebrities. But Ive never wanted to be in a romo scenario with them??? I guess sexual attraction does contribute in that crushes which makes it even more confusing.

So I think the real question is: Does romantic attraction have to involve wanting to date or do romantic things with a certain person, or is it just the fluttery and shy feeling when meeting someone you think youre attracted to? Sorry if it is confusing or gibberish, it is late at night where I am and i guess romo stuffs just keep me awake :)))

Side note that I dont think Im romance-repulsed cause I think I am fine with dating strangers, but just repulsed when it is someone I "like"?

So it's worth noting other types of bonding attraction can also feel fluttery and make you blush and stuff like that. In general bonding attractions tend to have similar symptoms.

So probably the two most common types of bonding attraction other than romantic attraction are squishes and alterous crushes. A squish is a platonic crush that usually makes you want to feel close to the person you're attracted to, or be important to them. But it doesn't feel romantic at all.

And alterous crush is an attraction that may have romantic or platonic elements in it but won't be fully either, and someone experiencing alterous attraction may be OK with a romantic relationship or friendship, or want something that defies labels entirely. But the big thing they will want is a strong emotional bond with the person they're attracted to.

So definitely if either of those sounds right to you that could be worth considering/looking into.

Repulsion is a possibility, and you can experience repulsion only with someone you actually like (isn't that fun?). If it's repulsion there'll be actual negative feelings attached, it won't just be a disinterest.

Another possibility is you may lack romantic desire, which is a general desire to be in a relationship defined as romantic or do romantic coded things with someone (general someone, not anyone specific). The difference between this and the attractions listed above is that the attraction feels distinctly romantic to you.

It may not be easy or clear which of these may be what's going on, in which case it's important to remember that identity is more subjective and there may not actually be a clear answer. It's OK to go with what makes the most sense to you and you think would be a useful way to identify or explain your orientation. You can even just keep using romance-flux if you want to.

All the best and good luck!

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nobody-knose--archive · 3 years

Text

i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

#lemon demon #spirit phone #pretty sure this is my first bit of spirit phone content on my blog. hi greater lem dem fandom nice to see y'all. go listen to deporitaz #loolin liveblogs #i enjoyed this less for the content the commentary contained & more for the way i handled it. more pleasant than some times ive had #tis i #i havent listened to spirit phone in general in ages. i know why. so this was nice #to the world and back again

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aromantic-spinda · 3 years

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Hi! (This may be long so no pressure to respond!!) I realized I was ace a few months ago (but I’ve been ace my whole life I just never realized it lol), and for most of my life I’ve felt romantic attraction. For the last couple years I’ve had a huge crush on my friend, but one day my romantic attraction to him just completely switched off, like for good. And it feels like my ability to experience romantic attraction in general and my desire to ever be in a romantic relationship has completely switched off as well. So I did some research and explored myself and what labels fit what I’ve been feeling and experiencing, and I settled on calling myself aro. And for a couple weeks/months (honestly idk what even is the concept of time lmao), the label of aro fit me. I didn’t feel like I experienced romantic attraction, and I felt perfectly complete living my life without a romantic partner, and I just felt grand as my aro self. But recently my romantic feelings for my crush have begun to come back, which is annoying me bc he’s honestly kind of an asshole and I don’t want to have a crush on him. But the fact is, as much as I don’t want to, I have been feeling romantic attraction to him, so I just don’t know if the label of aro fits me anymore. I know I’m arospec though, and I’ve known this even before I identified as aro. The thing is, I can’t find an identity/label on the arospec that feels right. I can’t find a label that feels like it describes my experience, because I feel like my experience changes and is fluid. I also feel like my romantic orientation doesn’t just fluctuate, but it also often feels like I’m experiencing multiple contradictory identities at the same time. Idk how to really put it into words. Describing my romantic orientation feels like trying to capture a 3-dimensional object in a 2-dimensional frame. To put it simply, it’s complicated. Lol. But ig my question was, since my romantic orientation feels fluid and changes from time to time, could aroflux be the label that suits me? I know you can’t figure out my identity for me, but I was wondering if you had any insight on romantic orientations based on what I’ve described, and I was wondering if you could help me figure out if aroflux is maybe a label that matches my experience, since it’s the label I’ve been leaning towards trying out lately. Again, I know this is a lot, so you absolutely don’t have to answer this. If you cant/don’t want to answer this, that’s totally ok, and it was nice to just have a space to vent. Thank you!!!

Aroflux could fit you. After all, it does often come with a "sometimes attraction is flipped on, sometimes it's flipped off" feeling and lots of confusion. Really, I'd recommend trying out many labels to see what fits.

I'd also recommend looking at quoiflux, a little-known label defined as (I'm paraphrasing here) "feeling like one fluctuates somewhere on either the ace or aro spectrum, but being unable to tell for sure." I can't remember the exact definition, so probably best for you to look it up yourself and see if you want to try out the label.

And hey, if all else fails, "aro" and "arospec" are perfectly fine labels to have without specifying any further. If you feel your experiences may be defined better by calling yourself aromantic/arospec, then that's all you need as a reason.

#aro #arospec #quoiflux #aroflux #long post #asks

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incorrect-hs-quotes · 5 years

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oohohoho you just opened the deepest can of worms on the planet

-mod dave, who wrote a fucking ten mile essay

first off, addressing the second anon, no theyre all humans. h., half humans at least. cause yall know me i fucking love my humanstuck aus off my ASS

(that would be funny as hell though. a troll from space walking into a camp on earth going “I AM THE SON OF ONE OF YOUR EARTH GODS. BITCH” like... holy shit)

so first things first their parents. im gonna lay this out, the beta kids and trolls are all greek (EXCEPT sollux hes roman cause his parent has no greek equivalent), and all the alpha kids and trolls are those gods roman equivalents (,,EXCEPT dirk cause he kinda balances sollux being roman out). i havent figured out how thatd happen like 16+ times yet cause in the percy jackson books theres only ever been one instance of two siblings of the same godly descent being greek and roman respectively in HISTORY so like.. i guess th. i guess thats just not a problem in this au

anyway this gets really long so im gonna talk about the beta kids and trolls cause i havent elaborated on the alphas at all ((peep the tags if you wanna see their parents though))

johns the son of zeus, rose is the daughter of athena, dave is the son of apollo, and jade is the daughter of demeter. they were all raised in their respective states, all had to come to new york for various reasons. jades been there the longest, shes been there 9 years and shes been on a couple quests. her biggest accomplishment so far is how she protected the camp from this big vicious angry hellhound that got past the barrier. naturally the girls fluent in Dog Training, so she steps up and instead of trying to kill this thing, she reaches out and tames it as fast as she can. it ends up actually working, and ever since that day she, her cabin, and the camp have a whole bodyguard sleeping right outside the demeter cabin! hes her steed in battle and hes a Very Good Boy. and his name is becquerel

johns the newest kid at camp, he has no idea who he is or why the fuck his school got attacked or why in the hell those anemoi thuellai were so fixated on him or HOW in the hell he absorbed the lightning one threw at him and ended up fine,,, hes just a big mess right now. a big enough mess that when he got claimed by literally zeus, no one else was around, he shrugged it off as some basic magical happening, and he stayed in the hermes cabin far longer than he should have cause no one! fucking knew he got claimed! by zeus of all people! dumbass. he ends up figuring it out though. like an off-hand mention about how this “weird lightning thing appeared above my head a couple weeks ago, haha weird right?” once he figures it out he realizes “hey i might be able to fly” so he sneaks off into the woods to try it. he succeeds fairly quickly but god almighty everyones face the one day the dude just yote himself off a small cliff without warning,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

dave and rose are really tight, theyve been there roughly the same time length, and since their cabins are across from each other they just bother each other all the time. daves the resident Doctor even though he really doesnt look it cause hes got the apollo powers. apollo is the medicine god. so if you wound your stupid ass in battle daves in the ER room patching you up with his glowy hands. rose on the other hand is a very good strategist. shes one of the only athena kids ever recorded to actually have a power - telekinesis. she has no idea how she developed it, she thinks its from birth, but it freaks her out. shes training it though.

so the beta trolls, are also all human(ish). aradias hades kid. but i pulled a pjo trope on her based on one of my favorite characters (im not saying for spoilers, but if you recognize the situation, You Probably Know Who Its Based Off) and aradia died. her mom, the handmaid, had been pulling some Shady Ass Shit and ended up getting herself killed, but aradia tried saving her and ended up going down with her.

so handmaid gets sentenced to the fields of punishment in the underworld, and aradia gets sentenced to elysium, heroes paradise. shes like “no i want my mom to be okay” so they take that away from aradia and they put them both in the fields of asphodel, the neverending grey space for Not So Good But Not So Bad people. her mom becomes a shade (shadow spirit, no human resemblance), as all people do, but aradia. doesnt? and she gets dunked in the fucking river lethe and if you dont know what that does it erases your memory. so she just. comes out of the river like “hello? wgat tae fukc goin on??” but she still remembers one thing. there was an “a” in her name.

tavros is the son of hermes, hes just kinda taken on the role of backup counselor for when the actual cabin counselor is out. hes in a wheelchair, but he also has prosthetic legs for when he needs to actually stand up and fight. hes really good at it too. also catch him in winged converse cause he Owns Those and Uses Them To His Advantage. hes trying his best to keep focused on the camp, cause aradia was his childhood friend, he misses her a whole lot, she never got to camp in the first place. and to his knowledge, shes still dead.

sollux is a janus kid. thats a problem cause janus is roman, and this is a greek camp. he grew up with dave, he showed up with dave, hes been at camp as long as dave. but hes been unclaimed since he showed up so he thinks hes unwanted by whatever parent he has. he knows hes a demigod, he got through the camp barriers, so what the fuck is wrong with him? he also feels shitty cause hes shit at the greek lessons, he cant read a lick of it which literally every demigod without exception should be able to do, he cant name any gods- well, he can, but.. he gets their names mixed up. why does he keep calling poseidon “neptune”? and he has a much, much different way of natural fighting than other kids. they slice, he jabs. he wasnt taught to jab.

karkat is an aphrodite kid with vitiligo, and to make matters worse, hes ace and on the aro spectrum. to make matters WORSE, the aphrodite kids are kinda notorious for being really shallow, really materialistic, and really mean. karkats been dubbed the “runt” of the cabin, he gets made fun of for his spots to the point where he uses make up and magic to conceal them. worst of all? hes the kid of the goddess of love, for fucks sake. being reminded that “loveless people shouldnt be able to stay in this cabin, mom must have made a mistake claiming you” is kind of.. a blow to the self esteem. long story short he hates aphrodite for claiming him, and would have rather stayed in the hermes cabin. but he eventually goes on this big quest thats vague as fuck right now but Its The Main Plot, he ends up proving to himself that hes worth something and that his siblings are wrong, and my FAVORITE LINE IN THE WHOLE THING i came up with is HIS when he deals a final blow to some big monster: “REMEMBER MY FACE THE NEXT TIME YOU REINCARNATE. MY NAME IS KARKAT VANTAS, I’M THE SON OF APHRODITE, AND LOOKS CAN KILL.”

nepeta isnt anywhere near developed as others are unfortunately, shes a daughter of ares and shes really really good at hand to hand combat. shes small but she leads groups of people in things ranging from camp volleyball games to actual literal wars. shes a tough little shit

kanaya isnt really developed either, i have yet to figure out most of her powers too actually, shes a daughter of iris, the rainbow goddess though. (blatant reference to both kanayas vampirism and. h. her. sh. es ga. gay) ONE THING SHE CAN DO THOUGH is iris message at will without water or drachmas so really shes just everyones go to cell phone and its fucking hilarious cause people just come into the cabin like “KANAYA I NEED TO TALK TO [X]” and shes like “You Better Fucking Pay Me I Am Not Your Personal Cell Phone”

terezi is the daughter of nemesis and she has this really peculiar power she hasnt really gotten the hang of yet. she has synesthesia, so while she cant see she can smell and taste the colors of her surroundings and its really helpful. sometimes though she gets messages from her mom. they dont even come as dreams half the time, they come as almost a different plane altogether. tez has the power to literally tip the scales, pretty much. and when she gets like that, she can see. shes not on earth though, shit on earth stops when shes like that. shes just kinda In Her Own Head, i guess? and in her head she holds the two scales in her hands. she is the arms of the scale. and depending on which one she lifts up, she can literally alter the fate of the battle or happening thats going on By Herself. once she chooses she just whooshes back to real life though and nothing has changed. the only downside? it takes a LOT of energy and cant be exploited for little things. her one thing on her bucket list is to tap into said powers while getting something from a vending machine so like three things will fall out but it hasnt happened yet and shes upset

vriskas a daughter of tyche, the luck goddess, come the fuck on you knew i was gonna, i havent really elaborated on her either and im upset about that. but hey now you get a break from all those fucking paragraphs

equius is a hephaestus kid, and he kinda stays in the background. hes a range fighter, he spends a lot of time in the forge, and even though its been a project looooong since forgotten, hes been excavating the tunnels under cabin nine for years. by himself. he has no idea where they lead, but dammit hes gonna find out where. he has no idea about a certain bunker in the woods though...

gamzees just there for a fucking laugh tbh hes a son of dionysus and i love that cause hes the god of wine and parties and insanity. usually gamzees just zoning out somewhere hes Not supposed to be, and hes not affected by the maenads FUCKED UP BULLSHIT that goes down the forest sometimes. also hes so fucking scared of tavroses wing shoes he tried them on once while he was high and JESUS CHRIST

eridan is the son of kymopoleia, a SUPER obscure goddess. lets just say dont fuck with eridan cause his mom is the goddess of violent sea storms,

and naturally, feferi is the daughter of poseidon. cause who the FUCK else would she be the daughter of. WHO. NAME ONE GOD

OH AND JUST CAUSE I FORGOT CALLIE AND CALIBORN ARE SATYRS IN THIS AU. CALLIE HAS PAN PIPES. and caliborn still has a gun

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gettin-bi-bi-bi · 5 years

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I cant see myself in a longterm relationship with neither a woman or a man, even if I’m with somebody I still can’t see it lasting forever (although that could have something to do with me being a pessimist) I’ve never been a romantic person at all and I’m super picky with partners. I mostly get crushes on ppl who are unattainable such as celebrities bc I won’t have to worry abt being let down by the real deal. I’m not aro (tho I am Demiro) I want to be with people but I see it more as (1/2)

temporary fun than i think other ppl do. I know I don’t want to get married. What does this say about me? Is it just me being young? Just not having found the right person yet? A mental illness thing (depression making it hard to maintain a relationship or adhd me getting bored with ppl)? Bad experience? Like idk why I’m like this I kinda don’t want to get into relationships with people even if I’m bc I don’t think I’m gonna stay in love. (2/2)

I don’t know why you are “like that” either, darling. You listed plenty of different explanations that each could be a reason (or it could be a combination of all of it) but it could also be something else entirely or there might be no particular reason at all. Some people are just aromantic or on the aro spectrum and that’s fine. I understand this can be hard and make you feel like you’re out of place in a world that puts so much emphasis on romantic love being the be all end all way to find happiness....

But the truth is, there is much more to life than romance. I think you could really benefit from talking to other aromantic or demiromantic people to see that you’re not alone and learn how they handle it. There’s plenty of ways to be happy and other non-romantic ways to have relationships. You can have queerplatonic relationships and/or have sexual relationships with people and/or platonic ones.

It’s not a task that can be finished in a day but you have the possibility to decide for yourself what you need and want in life. If romance isn’t on the top of the list or not on the list at all - so what? More time for other stuff!

I know this sounds pragmatic and again, I realise it’s not that easy if the world keeps telling you that you gotta find “the one”. But let’s be real: the expectation that there is such a thing as “the one true love” is unrealistic af and puts unnecessary pressure on people to have The Perfect Relationship - so much so that they don’t enjoy it while it lasts. Very few romantic relationships last a life time. Some do last for decades, most for a couple years, some only a few months or weeks. People change over time and grow apart or they realise that they weren’t compatible in the first place. If we stop thinking of that as failure but instead treat it as growth then there’d be a lot less heartache from breakups and people would be able to move on sooner.

Maybe you want to try romance again at some point in your life, maybe not. I can’t predict that and neither can you. But you can put yourself at ease right now by remembering that you do not have to be interested in romance. You do not have to date people. You can live your life the way you want to and if that doesn’t include romance then so be it!

Maddie

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wondercookieunicorn · 5 years

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1/? ASDHSASDFHV tumblr really has something against us talking huh? :( but yeeeessss i agree nct is a treasure and i am damn happy i found out about them (albeit late i could have stanned since predebut i am salty towards me) yay!!! another Soft stan and person!! Giving love is important to me as well! And your bff crush on johnny is relatable! Im not crushing on him romantically (im aro) but I have this major crush on him that's somewhere between platonic and romantic so i feel ya!! - 🌱💚

2/? and i cant stop thinking of how amazing his hugs would be bc he’s so tall and big and im around ten’s size? so there’s this huge height difference and i should really stop rambling about this bc now i want johnny’s snuggles but i cant and it makes me :( BUT ANYWAY im glad you slept well thou sucks from the rude awakening. I tend to get cranky when im woken up by loud noises, do you have that too? But yay for making money!!!! I hope you’ll like your job!! And good luck with calling… - 🌱💚

3/? your dad and I hope you get to go to your friend (and freakin yikes if she ditches you for het boyfriend you dont deserve such treatment :

4/4 and to answer your final question! my fave nct songs in no particular order: highway to heaven, end to start, boss, baby dont stop, my first and last, 1 2 3, sun&moon, knock on, dream in a dream, new heroes, dont need your love, we go up, take off, come back, fly away with me, dear dream, regular to irregular, candle light, simon says, whiplash, the 7th sense, replay (pm 01:27) (i think saying “their whole discography” would have been easier…. oh well) what are your fave songs? - 🌱💚

I GOZ ALL UR ASKS OMG I`M QUAKING THIS IS SO GOOD!!!

So first of all, my friend ditched me. That´s why I´m here man! I make too many jokes on jeffreys costs, I should stop. Poor man gotta suffer so much

Anyway, the call went great tho, so that´s a plus. Also thank you :))! ❤️

Ok but I lOve “The Arcana”???? I mean truth be told, haven´t played it in a loong time and I saw that the three new routes are available and- omg death is crawling to me, I can feel it. I only check in for those daily things tho because I currently am not in the mood for reading idk. Who´s your fav? :S

also yehs yehs, I´m pretty much Ten´s height I think? like 1,70. And I geddit, I geddit! Cuddling him must be a friggin heavenly privilige dkskdksk my wildest dreams are about hugging Johnny ngl.

And that is very interisting!! I think I´m Asexual, but ppl always tell me that that´s just cuz I´m still a virgin so I- I dunno man, some people just really can´t overstep their own believes/Beliefs (dunno how to spell sksks)

I get VERY crancky too, if someone wakes me up and/or dares to actually talk to me in the first 45 minutes after waking up! I could take a pan right then and there and just- no no no, I´m a very soft person! Just not right after waking up

AND AHHH BRACES REMOVAL, YOU´LL MISS IT BUT ALSO VERY MUCH NOT!! I´M TELLING YA, I STILL REMEMBER WHEN I GOT MINE REMOVED AND IT´S A FUNNY FEELING IN THE FIRST FEW MINUTES. But yeh, good luck on that! :)

You- Yeah- “Their whole discography” would´ve worked too lmao, tho I understand where you´re coming from!

Welp, Boss is my all to go bop as well as Simon says! New Heroes saved my entire life! Else I really like Baby don´t stop, 1,2,3, Dream in a dream, Dont need your love, come back, take off, regular and whiplash too.

now ones that you didnt mention: I rlly like Blow my mind, Baby dont like it, la la love, go, Timeless, we go up, Paper Plane, let me love you, Mad city and yeah let´s stop here lmao.

You have a good taste in music, do you come here often? ;)) Someone stop me, I´m getting too comfortable

Wakey Wakey will always hold a special place in my heart since it always manages to crack me up (I hope you know what I´m reffering to lmao pls)

And i getchu, I got into dream right in chewing gum?? For some, to me unknown, reason and then after ´my first and last´ I completely rolled out of kpop, then got back in the “full nctzen” settled in like….5 Months ago? idk. But imma stay and that matters….Right??? :”) hbu?

ALso please, if you want to go to sleep do that!! Dont stay up too late :) ❤️

also what movies did you two watch, that sounds hella cute!?

#Anon project

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inferno-sytem · 3 years

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Seen people talking about how Trans Day of Visibility is preformative and for cis people. I agree, we need real change, not just to be visible. But.

For me, being a visible trans person is very very important. Let me paint you a picture: my high school is conservative, trump-flag-waving, 97% white, there's only about 15 out queer people total, the administration that did nothing when told that a student had been PAID by another student to assault a queet person, I as a trans student am not allowed in ANY public bathroom on the premises, its so Christian that teaching evolution is a debate, the superintendent mocked a visible queer person to an entire classroom of students this week, misogyny and sexism are ever present, ablism also runs rampant, and thats hardly the beginning. The environment can feel like hell, yet every day I go with my head held high as a disabled queer person. As a nonbinary transgender man.

And when I say I'm visible, I mean it. I've painted my face with the trans and non binary flags at school, I wear pride pins and a rainbow mask, I've brought my flag to school and worn it around as a cape, and dress very distinctively. Even if I have no flags on that day, people can tell I'm queer, I make sure of it.

Sometimes it can seem counter productive. Why dress in a way you know will make bigots angry? I go through a lot of unnecessary harassment that maybe would be lessened if I wasn't so up front about it. Maybe I look like I just want attention, or maybe its too "stereotypical." But if I make anything clear with this post its that I do not do it for me. I love being trans, and Im very proud of my trans and disabled self, but that is not the main motivator for why I do it.

Its other queer people. I've had younger queer people come out to me. Theres a few middle schoolers that have talked to me, and that I've become pretty close with because I'm so visible. Sometimes I'm the only person that isn't in their same grade level that they feel comfortable around.

I've also educated some people. It's something I'm very open to talking about, and there are people who have gone from telling me that I cant be a "real boy" because of my anatomy and wardrobe to correcting other people when I get misgendered. There are people that may never have met a trans person before, and I get to be the first impression. Even when people are ignorant I do my best to be kind and non confrontational. Most of all, though, I'm human. Seeing me in person and talking has helped humanize trans people as a whole, and made people more sympathetic to understanding trans issues

Other queer people have told me my confidence is inspiring, too. They look up to me, wish they could dress like me, or are just happy to see someone whose comfortable. Its so helpful to see someone who is like you be comfortable and happy, especially in a place like our school. There is a narrative that trans people are selfish, bitter, pushy, and unhappy. Being open about myself, and genuine when I show my joy fights that. I remember first coming out and being surrounded by the idea that I would be better off if I were just a cis boy, being trans sucks, and its just cycles of hating yourself, your body, and not being satisfied. That is wrong, and I want to make sure every trans kid I gave the possibility of reaching knows it. There are parts that suck, discrimination and dysphoria are obviously bad, but transness is not centered around such things. Trans is beautiful, and its something to be proud of. It's a part of yourself that you can learn to love, and when you do you will be so much happier. Visible trans people showed that to me, and now I am showing it to younger trans people.

This is a bit rambly, but what I'm saying here is that visibility is valuable. Let other queer people see that they're not alone. Let younger trans people see the happy person they can grow to be. Embrace what makes you different, and be proud of what the oppressors want you to be ashamed of. You are beautiful, and stronger than they think you are. When you're visible you will be a beacon to those who need to see themselves, a safe space for those who need to be protected, and a friend to those who felt alone. We, my fellow trans people, live in a world where existing is a powerful thing to do, and that alone can help change the world for the better. Even if you're not as visible, or visible at all. You are powerful, and I am proud of you.

Also! A special nod to intersectional trans people. Trans people of color have brought about so much necessary change in the world that we all bennifit from today, and they continue to be a beautiful, powerful, and foundational part of the community. Fellow disabled trans people, we are not too much, and we can take up as much space as we need. You are entitled to accommodations, your correct pronouns, and respect. Im proud of you all, very much so. Gay and not hetero trans people (including aro and ace trans people!), fat trans people, trans people in religious minorities, trans feminine people, trans masculine people, and nonbinary people all have a unique experience that you deserve to share with the world. Even if you're stealth or closeted I am so proud of you. I love this community, amd I want you to know that you are loved. Im a couple days late, but happy trams day of visibility ❤

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taonsil · 7 years

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I cant imagine anyone would, but anyway please no reblog ! this is just all personal junk

aa so..I just wanted to ramble a bit about my 4am breakdown tag post some more. though it was a really bad night, I think reaching that point will in the long run have been a good thing n I'm just trying to figure it all out so I can learn from it the best I can. It was just several years worth of stuff finally reaching a peak. I got into exo around debut time, but pretty casually. it wasn't until wolf era that I decided to be 100% fulltime dedicated, and it came around because I'd been struggling so much with my gender ID and being ace. I was having a lot of suicidal thoughts and basically tao turned up that one day with his leopard print shawl on and changed everything. everything seemed like it was going to be fine. he was so distant then, and he was just perfect and strong and wonderful and I got a leopard print phonecase and had my hair buzzed like his (and coincidentally I had a whole summer of amazing ace discussions with a friend due to tao ships, so that helped with that a lot). I was so so excited and motivated every single day, buying new clothes and new products because tao had made me confident in choosing a path

in 2013 my long-term plan was to use all of this happiness to transition, to get started in the career I wanted, to reach out and help other queer kids, to study hard, to get the therapy/treatment I needed for my anxiety/agoraphobia and then who knows !! maybe move out, travel to see my friends. I was doing a lot of art that involved customising and selling and hoped to go places with that. 2014 was the best year of my whole life

tao leaving, really it just coincided with work getting worse (n also with that meaning we couldn’t travel any more to see our friends or have breaks away at all). I'm always vague on the details of this but it involves being very close to someone who's mentally and emotionally abused me and another family member into therapy before, but..needs must and all. I can’t be out around them at all. it's always been hard and it just happened to start getting a lot worse at the same time. losing sutao was so hard for me, I'd never had a relationship like theirs in my life and it made me happy every single day. I really went out of my mind waiting for news on whether he was coming back (at the time we didn't even know if he'd continue to work at all :s). when he did..it was a loss and a gain, because seeing him in a new light was strange. he went from my hero to someone I wanted to protect and defend. he's genderfluid and nd and aro and instead of looking up to him as an inspiration he just felt close and I could see so many of my bad traits in him but they were good on him, and I got so stressed and anxious every single time he dug himself into deeper holes or I thought the traits I perceived in him were going to be disproved. the two years since he left I was pretty unwell, I lost a lot of time, I wanted to die again because everything was so bad and he was all I had and it was too overwhelming at times. I never wanted to talk about it because I didn't want to be That Crazy Fan, or for my ideas to be dismissed bc of it, or for it to reflect badly on him either. some of the arguments that started cropping up in fandom brought up long buried trauma and made me analyse it way more than I'd ever wanted to. I just gave up on myself. I don't remember a lot of it. breaking away from it at the start of this year was really, really hard, but once I had it was like I'd just woken up after two years and realised I'd done nothing towards the plans I'd made when I was 23

-not to mention that I had no idea I was autistic(+ whatever else. I cant even make one appointment to look into the other possibilities bc of work lmao) until last year. I've always been diagnosed with anxiety, told to grow up, told I'm special and sweet, promised that one day with the right help I'd be fine. college was really bad and I isolated myself after it ended, and then I had to start working with family anyway, so for years it just worked out ok that I only ever went places with family and that they'd speak for me. and again, the two years lost to wherever I was with tao I just didn't think about it, until I was told it's this. and that this is just how I am, and that I'll always mentally be 12 at worst 16 at best and unable to go a day by myself without An Adult helping me out, and I'll probably never be able to like something in moderation and I'll probably never even be able to order a drink for myself let alone try and start helping charities or being involved in communities how I'd wanted

all of this + the endless problems with work, being put down every day and given all these ridiculous thankless extra hours/days, coming out of that weird tao brain fog..I realised I wasted most of my 20s without achieving any of the things I'd set out to, and with obstacles that meant I probably never would, and it made me feel really pointless. at the start of the year I'd made a lot of creative plans, but the stress of everything just knocked it all out of me. I felt bitter and upset towards all of the subjects that motivated me to be creative, and through my writing and art I’ve always tried to help and cheer up other people, but I couldn’t even enjoy it myself. I've had writers block for so long, I hate it. last week was a weird mix of receiving a lot of lovely messages about being helpful and nice etc and feeling guilty over not being uplifted by it, extra days/hours with no thanks, being hit and called stupid..I just felt like everything was over. I'd lost everything that made me feel good about being myself, I had no outlets, I'd failed at all of the goals I'd set myself. I miss tao so much but worry I'll end up in a bad way again if I go back to him full time. I keep thinking over all the ridiculous things I said in college just because I’m me and realising why no one liked me and feeling bitter over again that no one diagnosed me sooner. and trying to continue on like this knowing it's not in my power to improve most of it made me feel how I did last night, like it was just the end. but;; I think getting all of that pain and upset out and realising it was because of a lot of things, not just a bad week/month really helped.

dndhj I dont rly feel refreshed yet I just feel like a slug from crying so much. but I did see a lot of sense in the articles I was reading about what to do after having a moment like that n rebuilding things and setting new goals seems good. worrying less about my follow count and if people will think badly of me and just posting silly happy meta feels like a good way to reconnect with the things I closed off from. there's nothing I can do about work and how that is, but liking myself more again will probably help me care less OK. ok. OTL

#this is..a whole novel of garbage #anyway this is all personal so please feel free to ignore🙏#typing it all up felt good tho;; I guess it cleared my head a bit #mh placeholder tag #tw: suicide mention

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like-rain-or-confetti · 4 years

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Request: Running Away (Volturi leaders x Reader)

You would have loved to admit you had planned this but you didn't. The idea sprang to your mind and before you could think any further, you took off out the door. Sunlight hitting your face. You inhaled sharply, realising what you had done.

You had crossed the border. You were out of the castle and in the sun. You turned, looking back to see a hooded figure seem to looking at you before turning and moving down the hall. No doubt they were going to tell their leaders that their mate had just ran out the door. You took off running again, down the streets just in case they figured out how to get to you without exposing themselves.

This was the last resort, a cry for help even. However it was a cry for your mates rather than anyone else. The truth was that you didn't want to get away. You loved Aro, Caius and Marcus dearly but they weren't listening to you and push had come to shove. You needed out of that tower and they were dismissing you for 'safety'. They'd better come up with something else because this wasn't working anymore. You couldn't bare another minute of feeling like a prisoner. So whilst you went beyond the square. You were looking for somewhere empty.

The sun went down, night had arrived and it was quiet. Peaceful even, despite knowing your impending doom. A cool breeze hit your face. You took in a deep breath of fresh air you hadn’t had in weeks. It wouldn’t be long now. It wasn’t.

Fifteen minutes later, Aro, Caius, Marcus, Felix, Jane, Demetri and Alec. The guard kept their distance as the three leaders approached. Surprisingly, the leaders also kept a distance, however were still close enough to be in your earshot. “Explain yourself.” Caius said icily and it was very apparent that they were furious, even before you turned to look at them. You knew by that tone alone that you had very much upset them. “I couldn’t go back there.” You said quietly. Your tone was softened by your racing mind, the environment as well as your thoughts distracting you from them. “I was going back to the tower, the door was open, i saw outside and without thinking I ran.” “Yet you failed to think of returning?” Caius responded, his tone making it evident that he didn’t believe you. “Would it have changed anything?” You retorted. “It doesn’t change that I ran.” “Why did you do this?” Aro finally asked with an unreadable expression, his voice didn’t give any hints either. “You can’t keep me locked in there anymore.” You began. “I’ll lose my mind. I will go crazy if i spend anymore time in there. I can’t go back.” “Cara mia, we have been through this.” Aro sighed. “You’re in there so that we can keep you safe.” “No! Listen to me! I can’t stay in there anymore, it’s the only reason that I ran! I cant get you to listen any other way! I’ve tried to talk to you but you won’t listen. I need you to hear me when i tell you I can’t take it anymore!” You felt tears of desperation build in your eyes as you tilted your head back, trying to remain calm. “That castle is huge, historic and amazing and i don’t get to see it! You tell me about how amazing the vampire world is but you won’t show it to me!”

Marcus was the first to move, closing the gap between you and pulling you to a stand. “If I were to agree to this-” “Brother!” Caius said sharply. Marcus raised a hand to Caius as to settle him. “Don’t give them false hope!” Caius snapped. “If I were to agree to this,” Marcus repeated. “You can never pull a stunt like this again. If you do, I will personally drag you back into that tower and keep you there for the rest of eternity.” “I promise.” You whispered, staring into Marcus’ eyes, silently pleading that he’d allow it. Marcus looked to his brothers.

Caius looked startled and angry all at the same time and Aro was eerily silently. “What if something were to happen to them? Then what?” Caius growled. “You of all people know what that would do to us!” “I do.” Marcus agreed. “However, I’m also thinking of what this could do to them. I do not wish for them to suffer on my behalf, for my peace of mind. I am not permitting them to go out of the castle but if roaming the castle is going to keep them happy then so be it.” Caius scoffed. “That’s why we have Chelsea and Corin!” Your expression turned to one of horror. Caius was so willing to make you complacent that he’d suggest it even to your face. “Brother,” Marcus said lowly. “of course that is an option but do you really want to use it?” “I will to keep them safe!” Caius bellowed. “Think of the consequences, (Y/N) would then be there, not because they want to be, but because they’ve been manipulated into doing so. I’m suggesting that we compromise as to keep them with us willingly and happy. Wouldn’t you prefer that?” Caius was caught of guard, of course he would but that meant backing down and he wasn’t prepared to do that. Caius turned to Aro. “Say something!” “I’ll make my decision once we’re back in the castle.” Aro said smoothly. “You’re considering this!?” Caius screeched. “Am I the only one who’s concerned about (Y/N)’s safety!? The tower is guarded! If we had an intruder they’d have guards to protect them! Not to mention if they got to close to a guard who needs to feed! We can’t guarantee they won’t be ripped to shreds!” “Caius, I’m not prepared to ruin my bond with them nor am i prepared to control their mind. No one here is willing to let them get hurt.” Marcus argued. “You said the same with Didyme!” Caius yelled. “Enough!” Aro finally spoke up. “I said i’ll consider this on the way back, right now i’m concerned about getting (Y/N) home. It’s getting late and they are going to get cold.”

Before Marcus could say anything, you hugged him tightly. “Thank you.” You whimpered. “For what, dear?” Marcus asked. “For hearing me.” You whispered. “Remember my terms, (Y/N). This isn’t an easy decision for me to make.” “I know, I know.” You pulled back to look at him. “I promise, I won’t let you down.” Marcus turned his gaze to Caius. “Brother, if you ever mention Didyme like that again-” “Don’t misunderstand my words, you know i’m concerned about their safety.” “Don’t misunderstand mine. You do not use Didyme against me.” Marcus growled slightly, you quickly put a hand to his arm to settle him.

“Come with me, my dear.” Aro looked at you pointedly, clearly removing you from the situation so Marcus and Caius could speak privately. However he didn’t reach out for you as he always did, his jaw clenched. “Are you angry with me?” You asked him quietly. “Yes.” Aro responded. “I’m sorry.” You responded. “I know.” Was his response. His short responses were very out of character for him, showing just how angry he really was. “We will speak of this back home.”

All three of your mates came to visit you before you went to bed. “We’ve agreed to limited freedoms, some areas like the dungeons are off limits. One of us or Jane, Alec, Demetri or Felix must be present. When we are feeding, we want you here. Would that suffice?” Aro asked. You nodded frantically, jumping out of bed and hurrying over to them, all the while chanting ‘thank you’ repeatedly. You barely noticed that your happiness had caused Aro to smile slightly before you rushed into his arms.

He pulled back, cradling your face in his hands. A pleased smile crossed his face before he kissed your forehead. “Thank you for being honest, cara mia.” Aro wanted to trust you and the fact that you proved time and time again that you could be trusted filled him with joy and even more love for you.

However, you noticed Caius clearly not happy about the decision and leaning against the door. You were quick to move closer to him and wrap him in a hug. He allowed it and even coiled his own arms around you, pulling you closer. “Don’t be angry with me.” You whispered into his chest. “I am not thrilled but you do not need to concern yourself with that.” Guilt flashed across your face. “I love you...all of you.”

Finally, your attention was on Marcus. “You know i can’t lose you, (Y/N). None of us can.” Marcus said. “You won’t lose me.” You assured him, your arms still around Caius. “You listened and that only makes me want to stay even more.” “Get some sleep, darling.” Caius mumbled, letting you go.

The three leaders sat on their thrones. Aro sighed. Marcus immediately moved to get the very heavy books. They studied the arts at night, a peaceful passing of the time whilst you slept. “So you’re sending Chelsea in the morning?” Caius asked. “Yes.” Aro responded. Marcus had a grim expression. It was the only way they would agree to letting you out the tower. He wasn’t comfortable with artificially strengthening your bond to them but he had made certain that it wouldn’t be too much. Enough to repair any damage made by your actions. A way of keeping you comfortable without the use of Corin.

#request #twilight #volturi #the volturi #reader #aro volturi #caius volturi #marcus volturi #one shot #oneshot

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comicteaparty · 5 years

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January 7th-January 13th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from January 7th, 2019 to January 13th, 2019. The chat focused on MoonSlayer by Monica NGalvan.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START! Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on MoonSlayer by Monica NGalvan~! (http://moonslayercomic.com/) You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until January 13th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 3. What is Nirúr’s role in Syrma’s curse? Why is her Syrma’s death so important to Deneb and Nirúr’s goals? Is Nirúr as evil as everyone makes him out to be?

QUESTION 4. What do you think happened in the past that convinced Menkar to join to the side of the liosalfar (besides his past betrayal of his former king)? How might revealing this affect Syrma’s quest?

monicang

Hi everyone! I'm Monica, the author of MoonSlayer. This is just for telling you that you can ask me anything you want to know about my comic! Thanks and I hope you enjoy it!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. Why is the Storyteller helping Syrma? What exactly are the Storyteller’s ultimate goals regarding Arunor? Do you believe Puck will remain loyal to the Storyteller, or will he now work for Deneb?

QUESTION 6. What do you believe Henna did in the past that caused her to be exiled from the court of the sidhe? What does this have to do with Henna turning into a monster? Also, what deal did Henna make with Puck?

RebelVampire

1) my favorite scene is probably when henna goes to bathe and puck shows up and we start learning that something is wrong with henna. i enjoy the illustration work a lot with how much detailed work is put into henna's appearance. but i also just like the elements added to the story because it really adds this forboding sense that time is running out for everyone really, not just syrma. and i think the addition really helps to add more stakes to the matter, since the more lives in the balance the better? XD 2) this is a tough choice. probably henna. of the designs i like hers the most because its just so strange, mystical, and beautiful at the same time. but also i like how teasing she can get in one scene but then serious and badass in another. all around shes just a really intriguing character to me that i enjoy learning about. 3) I wouldnt label Nirur as "evil" so much as id probably assume hes self-absorbed and concerned only with his well-being. as for his role, i assume some magic shenanigans where somehow syrma's death will help release him. although i feel like not everything is as it seems. like nirur expects his sister to fail and is just trying to get syrma to come to him to trick her into using her inability to be affected by magic to bust him out of god jail. but just spit balling on that one i have no real evidence other then i assume nirur is cunning. 4) i think maybe the liosalfar saved menkar's life. and that menkar may have really just been depressed and had nowhere else to go at the time. i dont think itll reall affect the quest so much as make syrma go "omg hugs for menkar"

5) given the convo the storyteller had with hatal, im gonna assume hes helping syrma out of boredom. cause it seems implied that their world is just kind of stuck and static, never changing and never growing. and i think the storyteller just wants that to change. which i mean to be fair, you cant be a good storyteller when there are no stories to tell. and you cant have good stories without change, growth, and progress. as for puck, yeah i think hes gonna remain loyal to the storyteller. just cause deneb probably wouldnt help him even if he helped her. 6) im gonna just take a stab in the dark here and say maybe forbidden magic comboed with a lack of deference to the crown. although i assume that henna was exiled partly because nobody wants a monster in their lands, so better to get them out before theyre too dangerous to lose. as for the deal, help syrma and get cured? i mean that seems the most likely. and i assume it was a generally vague deal that henna partly regrets cause theres a lot of help needed.

keii4ii

1) This may be a weird choice, but I really liked the scene when Syrma kissed Menkar and ran off. Or rather, that's the scene that made me like her. It's not that I ship them (I'm aro and rarely get excited for shippy stuff). Rather, it made her feel more 3-dimensional to me. There's a lot of scenes portraying her as this perky, reckless warrior-huntress... But there's gotta be more to her than just the fighting and the hunting, right? And that kiss scene did it for me. She was still the same perky, reckless girl, so it wasn't like showing an unexpected hidden side of her. But it still showed that there are mundane moments in her life, too.

6) There is a short story in the Threads anthology that goes over this. I actually read that short story before reading the main comic... It doesn't explain everything, but it explains a lot.

Kabocha

I've only just now started reading this comic, so I'll answer the questions later... But I really like the art so far. It's lovely and incredibly intricate!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. What do you believe the group will do regarding the last potion ingredient since Henna’s blood is useless? How might Farian and the other sidhe help or hurt the situation?

funakounasoul

I need to do an archive binge of this comic again but I wanna just say that I love this story. Love Syrma and want to see how she achieves her goals. I love the art style. It's clean and professional but it's on a stylistic side that attracts me (I tend to not go for stories, especially fantasies, where the cast looks too realistic). Keep up the amazing work, Monica! :D

Kabocha

1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it? http://moonslayercomic.com/comic/ch5-20/ I loved this sequence -- Syrma getting the Angisu was pretty dang neat to see, especially when she threw the flames at the monsters! 2. Probably Deneb. She's got enough mystery around her, but so far I just like how... IDK, goal-oriented she is? She's interesting so far, and I want to know what she has in mind for Syrma. 3. NO IDEA! I think Deneb probably expects that Syrma will take her place, and that's why she chose her and took her magic -- this was all necessary to get her ready. 4. Menkar was probably going to be king before the other guy was put in place, and things went badly. 5. I can't really say why the storyteller might be helping Syrma, but I do wonder how much of this has to do with fate? Alternatively, Deneb could be totally losing it and degenerating somehow, and he's trying to find a peaceful end for her. ...Granted, nothing involving Syrma ever seems to be peaceful for long. 6. ...Y'know, I'd like to know what Henna did? I imagine her exile is directly related to becoming a monster, and is just a consequence of not being with her people... I do think, based on the cast page, that Henna probably helped Iris become immortal, which pissed off several sidhe.

snuffysam

1. Definitely the sequence where Syrma first uses the Angisu. The flames turning into claws around her hands... beautiful. 2. Syrma. I just love the way you see her grow up throughout the comic. 3. I think Deneb wants to use Syrma to free her brother somehow? I'm not sure how sacrificing Syrma would help with that, however. 4. I agree with Rebel on this one. Menkar was exiled for his betrayal, and the liosalfar took him in. 5. I think it's possible the Storyteller just disagrees with Deneb's actions, and wants to stop her somehow? As for Puck, I think he may pretend to be loyal to Deneb, but I still think he's going to help Syrma overall. 6. Agreed with the other sentiments, I'd also like to posit that maybe Henna doesn't know if she's actually helping Syrma, or if she's a traitor. After all, she threatened to reveal her deal with Puck to Syrma and Menkar, which isn't something you do if you're only being helpful.

Kabocha

Seeing how Puck got in a hell of a lot of trouble, I do wonder if it's just that nobody wants Deneb to know what's goin' on

snuffysam

the whole comic is leading up to a surprise birthday party

Kabocha

Oh no! D'ya think Syrma and Deneb have the same birthday? Maybe Deneb's just trying to prevent Syrma from crashing her party or something.

snuffysam

it's the only reasonable explanation i feel

RebelVampire

QUESTION 8. What insight do you believe the beginning of the comic gives us to the current story? What do you predict given that Syrma was warned about being seduced and is also emphasized to be all alone?

RebelVampire

i want to add to some of the discussion that i kind of think deneb isnt losing it. i think shes already lost it. XD in the sense that shes just being completely used by her brother and just flat out cant see it. is so dedicated to him nothing about morality or anything else registers to her anymore. its all about getting nirur out of prison, even her children be damned. 7) maybe theyre gonna be extremists and kidnap farian. cause that can only go well right? although i forsee them getting majorly delayed, caught, and sent to sidhe court. puck can be their lawyer. 8) the fact shes all alone....gonna be honest. i just assume everyone be dead. henna is a monster, puck got offed by deneb, menkar died fighting the dragon. cause i dont have optimism from that beginning. i feel like the warning about being seduced is gonna cause syrma to maybe sympathize with deneb some. see that she is a victim of nirur's machinations. and then syrma will kill them both cause i mean the title is moonslayer O_O

monicang

I have to admit that I'm amazed with the guessings and theories of all of you. Some of them are quite close to the truth.

Kabocha

Maybe Nirur lost it and that's why he's locked up... and Deneb's susceptible to the same issue as him. And Syrma's... well, Syrma's going to take over for both of them. Regarding question 8 -- I'm honestly worried xD Like, what's Nirur gonna do? Try and tempt her with power and such? Surely he knows she's not really attracted to that... Unless he can promise her all sorts of things like, her family back, a happy life... using illusions. But maybe he'll also just try to win her heart. XD

Monica -- oh my!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. Do you believe that Syrma and Menkar’s relationship is changing, or is it all just playful teasing? How might the growing tension between them change the direction of Syrma’s quest?

snuffysam

No idea what Syrma's intentions are, but I don't think Menkar's going to take the teasing seriously. like 1) from his point of view, syrma was a baby yesterday, and 2) pretty sure he watched his wife and kid(s) die.

keii4ii

It reminds me of something from a game, when a human character and a dragon character interact. They'd met and fought together as allies in a war 3 years prior. They reunite, the dragon gives the human what he needed, and goes on her way. Human: Wait! Aren't we going to talk and catch up? It's been 3 years! Dragon: What? But we saw each other just 3 years ago!

My guess is Syrma has a crush that she's okay with being unrequited, because she understands there are the differences between them. By the same token, I think she might feel jealous if Menkar were to pursue a relationship with another woman, especially a mortal/non-dragon woman (I don't think this likely, just speaking hypothetically). Not like vehemently jealous, just a "hey I thought... ugh n/m " kinda thing.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 10. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

RebelVampire

9) i do think the relationship is changing. they seem way too blushy and into the flirting for it not to be. but more i think the dynamic thats changing is them both kind of coming to terms with the fact that they may have some feelings for each other, even if they dont know what to do with them. in terms of changing the direction of syrma's question, i assume itll motivate her more. up until menkar probably gets killed cause i ahve no hope for him to live through this quest. 10) i am looking forward to syrma's growth most of all i think. cause shes still got a ways to go before she's ready for any moon slaying. so im interested to see in how the future trials challenge her and prepare her for the task at hand.

keii4ii

I'm looking forward to finding out what the whole deal is with the intro, obviously! Wanna know what everyone's endgame is: Storyteller, Puck, Nirur, Deneb, etc. (I also wonder if the sun is ever gonna be more involved? )

snuffysam

what if everyone's fine having a nice picnic and syrma's just alone because she's the only one who could go through the gate,

RebelVampire

that is also possible. i just dont think itd sit well with the other charas

snuffysam

it's not a happy picnic

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about MoonSlayer this week! Please also give a special thank you to Monica NGalvan for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked MoonSlayer, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: < http://moonslayercomic.com/%3E

Monica’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/monicang

Monica’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/A378XX

Monica’s Store: http://moonslayercomic.com/store/

MoonSlayer’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/MoonSlayerComic

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic bookclub #webcomic book club #comic tea party #ctp #moonslayer #monica ngalvan

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