#IN ORDER TO GET MORE OSTRICH EGGS

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

WENT INTO A STARDEW FUGUE STATE LADS ITS FOUR THIRTY AM MY SLEEP SCHEDULE IS FUCKED GOOD NIGHT

#BIG OOPS #BUT I F I N A L L Y GOT THAT STUPID SECOND SNAKE VERTEBRAE I NEEDED #IN ORDER TO FINISH THE ARCHEOLOGICAL TENT MISSION #IN ORDER TO GET THE OSTRICH INCUBATOR #IN ORDER TO GET MORE OSTRICH EGGS #IN ORDER TO FINALLY FUCKING SHIP EVERY ITEM IN THE GAME FOR THAT ACHIEVEMENT #AUUGHUGRUHGGHGHGH IM ON LIKE YEAR FOUR OF THE GAME OR SOME SHIT #stardew valley #okay now its time to optimize moneygain im halfway through the 10 mill achievement #plus i need the gold to pay for obelisks #after that i just need to wait til spring fest cuz i forgot to buy a spring scarecrow and then i'll be able to craft the deluxe #finish up gifts for george and then the final special order is making vodka for pam #then its JUST the gold clock

[denofbloodandlove]

Part two of Arayas story.  Again this is a new style and thought process for me, there may be mistakes or may seem disjointed.  But I hope you enjoy, this is not a subject meant for everyone.

Araya whimpered in pain as she tried to move, but every part of her was sore, well almost every part. The Royalty had yet to move her from her position, she was still on the cold slab table, her arms outstretched, her legs still bent at a deep angle.  Split open, her cunt still on view.  The King was the only one that had fucked her in her pussy, as of yet.  But his words still whispered in her ears.  As soon as the egg in her belly came out, they would impregnate her again.  Her throat was swollen and raw, after The King had fucked her, he rammed his still hard cock down her throat right after the first Prince did.  His cum had grown cold and sticky on her pale skin.  But she wanted more.  She wanted her body painted with it, covered in it, showing the stars who owned her.  They were right, their bloodlines spoke to one another.   Araya understood now why, when living on Earth she was never hungry, never thirsted.  Never wanted.

Because Earth and the beings there had nothing to give her.  

Here, in this place, in the stars, these males gave her substance.  Gave her their seed, their eggs, they gave her sustenance.  Their cocks were all she needed to survive, she felt it in the marrow of her bones.  She lost track of time as the three brothers took turns fucking her throat, each one thicker and bigger as they went round after round with her mouth.  Their cocks devoured and claimed, laying waste to the sensitive flesh.  All the while making sure they steered clear of her cunt, and because this was her first brood, they wanted to make sure it took before they took her ass.  But they would soon, they had promised her.  And she waited in anticipation, knowing it would come.  Each one had had her throat multiple times, sometimes pushing their cum straight into her stomach, their eggs sliding in, getting lodged in her throat before being deposited into her stomach.  She was stretched so full, three useless eggs in her stomach, one in her womb growing larger and faster every minute. Their combined cum filled her to the brink, adding to her engorgement, but she wanted more.  She knew her body could take more.  After the second round, instead of cumming in her, they all marked her skin, coating her flesh with the sticky, thick ropes that poured from their cocks. It wasn’t spurts like she knew human men did, theirs was like thick water running it long torrents.  Pumping constantly, then following the egg, the egg was smaller then an Earth ostriches egg.  She had gotten to watch is the tip of their cocks opened, their slits bigger, wider, opened and spurted out the egg.  The silver membrane was clear, blue and black veins raced along the outside like lightening. And inside she could see a thing wiggling.  Similar to a tadpole, a thick head wiggled followed by a long thick tail that flicked back and forth within the membrane.  As they emerged from their cocks she gasped, wanting them to shove them in her pussy so they would survive.  

“Shh Princess.  They ones outside your cunt don’t last in the air, they need your innards, your sweet tunnel, your womb directly in order to thrive.  Without our cocks shoving them past your pussy, past your cervix they wouldn’t last.  That is why our cocks are pointed, to tear into your cervix and deposit them directly into your belly.  Watch”

Looking down her chest where a fresh egg lay, it withered in seconds, the air turning it into a gelatinous ooze that mixed with the thick cum.  

“Rest now, the egg in your belly will be ready soon.  Your body will feed it with the eggs in your stomach, soon you’ll be ready for more.”

What she now referred to as her Royals, she watched as they removed her shackles, allowing her limbs to move, they helped her sit slightly, and she looked in awe at her belly.  It was three times its normal size, the upper part, where her stomach was, where the three useless eggs sat, she watched as it went down, inch by inch, but her lower belly expanded, a if the egg inside of her was sucking the juices from her stomach to grow. She watched as her belly undulated rippled and moved, she felt the egg in her shift, and then expand, as if it was trying to break out of her skin.   For the first time she felt….. scared.

“Its just breaking the membrane Princess, growing out of the original shell.  You are strong and we are virile.  You will make a good breeder for us.  Come, we are ready. Get off the table and walk to your cocks.  Take in more so the brood can feed.”

Swinging her legs over the table, she moved her belly first, her wobbly feet placed flat as she stood, then with strong steps she made her way to her King and the Third Prince.  Her King had had her cunt first, her throat second, and as he sat, his cock straining upward, she new he would have her ass first too. The Kings finger rose and twirled indicating for her to turn her naked body around.  Obeying his command, she stared into the stomach of the second Prince. His taloned hands gripped her roughly under her arms and lifted her easily.  “Put your legs on my shoulders and keep them there, I am not taking you, yet.  But they will, I will be your strength.” The second says as I move my legs as he commanded, my belly shifting to accommodate my new position.  “Remember your body was made for us, it will accommodate, trust in your King and Princes to give you what you need.”  

The Second lifts me up and ontop the Kings engorged cock, but not at my pussy, the tight, virgin bundle of muscles of my ass. The hard sharp tip slides in easily at first, then stops, the muscles too tight to allow such a huge cock to entrance.  “Trust us Princess” The Second says before he pushes me down hard, impaling the Kings cock straight through my ass and into my intestine.  My scream echoes through the stars, but is cut off by the Third, his body, because they are so much larger, his legs are braced on the furniture, straddling the King, his ass facing the Second, as her mouth opens on the scream, he shoves his cock into her throat shutting her up.  She gags instantly, her body expanding, her swollen belly moving so it could give the two girths inside of her room.  But she felt pulled tight, her skin too tight, her ass was being split, she could feel The Kings cock sliding in her guts, moving further up, filling her as the cock from the top reached down, tunneling down.  Her brain was pain and endorphins.  The thick ridges pulling and pulling.  And the thing in her womb squirming, being pushed not out but to the side as the two cocks fight for space in her too tiny body.  Her screams sound gurgled as The Princes cock dig deeper, until his whole cock is nestled deep to the hilt.  The King stills too, his balls tight against her ass.  She was pinned straight, their cocks touching inside of her.  

Each head had fought its way through her flesh to come in the middle, one in her stomach the other under it.  She could feel their pre cum gush like a fount. The Second Prince however, holding her as he was, slide his snake like tongue under the cock in her ass and through it, making her body suddenly tighten and clench.  Her body came in a waterfall off juice, coating them , her mouth suddenly over salivated, her cunt cumming over the Kings cock, her ass tightening, and as her body whetted them, they began in tandem fucking her, the one in her mouth pulled out while the one in her ass stayed.  When her throat was plunged into, her ass would empty.  Her flesh would protrude and empty in opposite rhythms, but that tongue stayed, flicked and licked at the muscles, keeping her body well lubricated, a constant never-ending orgasm over her body.  The brood in her belly felt the excitement and flipped, moved, pushed, fought for more, as if it knew its mother was getting fed. Suddenly a warm gush flowed from her mouth, the Princes ravaged thrust became clipped, his balls spasming against her chin as he began to come in her throat.  Each thick pump she felt move through her throat, down his cock and straight into her belly, and because their bloodline, their bodies linked The Kings cock did the same.  It felt thicker in her ass, her intestine milking his cock, each thick load moving on its own, upward, and downward, and like before her holes were sealed shut, so no drops escaped. She felt both their cocks flutter, their heads widening to deposit their eggs within her.  The tongue in her ass slithered out, licked along her back and then withdrew.  Their cocks stilled but instead of moving they rested inside of her.  Her body gagged and fought to breath, but they refused to give her air, The Prince waited until the last very bliss filled second before he pulled from her throat. Gasping for air The King moved again. And with an audible squelch lifted her off his cock.  Cum leaked from her mouth and ass, but she didn’t care, her hand rested on her belly, distended, and now bruised as the thing in her had grown.

“Soon Princess it will be out, and replaced by another, those two eggs in your body should feed it enough, give it the strength it needs to slide from her body.  Soon.  For now rest. Rest until we come back for another round.  You did so well with three eggs, this time you will take six. Our first Brood will be King of Kings strong on the wasted eggs we implant. Rest.”

#monster breeding #monsterkink #monster fucker #alien fucker #alien kink #tentacles #mywriting

[puella-1n-somn10]

Question surrounding Fortress Magica

Once more, the topic of timelines have left me a woman scorned now that I have caught up with the comics proper.

To make things short, I am currently struggling with exactly where - or rather when - the AU will take place, since the established points I have currently are;

Humans can use magic without the assistance of an incubator, hence Merasmus

Miss Pauling was approached by Kyubey and, for some odd reason, refuses to cease budging her even as an adult

Scout has contracted before becoming a mercenary for the strength to survive his situation/protect his ma

Soldier contracted after the events of "WAR!" in order to repair his friendship with Tavish; this resulted in him being able to join RED

Mikhail also contracted prior to becoming a mercenary, this time while he and his family were in the gulag, and wished to protect his family

Medic found Mikhail's soul gem right before the events of Meet the Medic, and he's set off to find and contract with Kyubey

After Ludwig contracted, his soul gem ended up being larger than most's due to the extra souls; think the size of an ostrich egg's. His soul gem upon transforming looks like a large, glass heart in the middle of his chest

Spy contracted long before Scout was born; His wish is currently a mystery

Demoman, Sniper, and Pyro are the only humans who haven't contracted; Engie may or may not contract in the future

Saxton is the epitome of Badass Normal, but if Kyubey finds out the amount of karma he has...

So far so good? Good. Now, we get to the issue at hand-

If Fortress Magica were to take place after Issue #7, then how the ever-loving FUCK will Scout's death play out, since he is a magi?

BUT, if it took place before the events of these comics, where on earth did Medic get these souls if not the Classic Team?

If it was right after Rings of Fired, well, I hate to sound like a nagging bitch, but I have been planning the details on how Medic will witch out and the reactions of Heavy and Engineer towards his crumbling mental state (yes I see them as a poly couple, ehe-).

I hate to be on my knees, sobbing and begging to the overlapping fans of Madoka Magica and Team Fortress 2, but...

#team fortress 2 #puella magi madoka magica #Fortress Magica #yes I am almost done w/ Medic's witch; writer's block and brain fog hit hard :c #voting ballots

[garbagefarm]

Garbage Farm (#47)

2023-05-026, session #47 of Garbage Farm! Spanning Fall 25 through Winter 3 of Year 4!

cast:

me (@mothmute​)

E.B. (@salamand3rin​)

Kimi (@2kimi2furious​)

Highlights include, but are not limited to:

Fall 25:

We’re all ready to start early! Which means we start on time! Which means we start late, due to technical issues!

it’s a jelly day!

I visit the Volcano, in search of Teeth

EB tends the crab pots, Kimi tends the non-crab animals

Fall 26:

Elliott wants to know if I’d still love him if he drank a ton of pumpkin ale

Shane mailed me pepper poppers from Joja again

went back to the Volcano, bought myself some clown shoes from the dwarf and acquired the Teeth!

Fall 27:

TOOTH OBELISK

Kimi gazes hatefully at the ducks

ordering construction of a crystalarium shed from Robin

Little island boy is sad today :(

Kimi brought a banana for him, but gave it to a gorilla instead (see gallery!)

spoopyday!

Shane wants to know why they’re out of pumpkin ale

because Elliott drank it all!

(I am going to jail for stealing Kimi’s joke)

EB wishes Gus would rant about pumpkins like he does with candy canes

Alex brought Kimi’s kids into the maze!!

Harvey blushed and told EB he hoped she would find him in the maze...

“don’t wait up guys”

OSTRICH EGG

wine will have to wait until tomorrow, it’s not worth risking my life

Fall 28:

Harvey watered some crops

Harvey, honey,... we appreciate the thought, but it’s the last day of the season.

wine day!!

Kimi officially closes the barns and coops for the winter

Duck jail (woo-oo)

they’ll have time to think about what they’ve done (or haven’t done)

I make our first Qi Gem purchase, the Key To The Town

E.B. and Kimi threaten Mr. Qi for an autopetter

I make the walk of shame back from the island since we don’t have the return obelisk yet...

(oops, we forgot a special order to catch salmon for Demetrius, oh well)

Winter 1:

Kimi and I venture into the Skulls!

E.B. gets the Qi’s Cuisine special order

rip Kimi (on the front porch, thankfully)

Winter 2:

E.B. sacrifices herself to tend to the ducks so we don’t have to, she’s so brave

ffff it’s tuesday, I wanted to make the shed big

Marnie, Caroline, and Jodi are all at the island instead of aerobics

the ducks’ obstinance gives Kimi a headache, so we’re gonna call it a short session

two games of darts down, one to go!

hon hon hon, Mr. Qi, let’s get that bread

Winter 3??:

We bomb the ducks. (see gallery)

Kimi doing the elmo rise gif

EB gets exploded, says “worth it”

TO-DO:

still need another five garbage ducks

need to make more crystalariums and start moving them into their new shed

Continue the skulls!!

(I’ve still got a couple errands of my own I keep putting off: kegs, preserves, tappy trees)

continue long-term projects: seed self-supply, grocery list, crafting everything, Sea Urchins,...

Gallery, courtesy of E.B.:

Gorilla accepts our offering

THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DID (n’t do)

#stardew valley #garbage farm

[100yearoldcomics]

April 16, 1922 Krazy Kat by George Herriman

[ID: A dog lifts himself up on the edge of a billiards table and angrily stares at the blank green felt in front of him /end] Caption: "Bozwell Beegle," whose "Billiard Parlor," and "Soda Squirtery" is the rendevous of "Coconino's" elite, finds that his entire equipment of billiard balls has been pilfered - and grows excited. Bozwell: Jee wiz!! Somebody has stolen my "three billiard balls." Help, fire, po-leece!!!

[ID: Bozwell leans in close to Officer Pupp's face and loudly complains about the theft. To their right, a group of animals stand with their hands raised in the air. From left to right, we see a pelican, Ignatz Mouse, an owl, Mr. Krane, an ostrich, a duck, a dog, a turtle and a pig. /end] Caption: And discloses the incident to "Officer Pupp," whereupon certain of the solid citizens declare themselves guiltless in no weak terms. Bozwell: And they were the three best billiard balls in "Coconino," and don't let that fact escape your mind, neither. Pupp: Have no fear, Mr. "Beegle." The honor of "Coconino" lies in my hands, and before many minutes have passed, that billard ball burglar will be in the hands of the law. Citizens: You can search us, we are innocent!!!

[ID: Pupp is shocked to find a long-necked duck-billed spotted bird snoozing under a tree with three large round protuberances in his neck. /end] Caption: In due time, "Officer Pupp's" labors of law and order lead him where he listed least, and wotted not. Pupp: Oh, Walter!! Walter, my old friend. To think that you, you of all people should have done it. Oh-h-h, Walter!!!!

[ID: Pupp leans glumly beneath the barred window of the jail cell he's thrown Walter into. Bozwell Beegle stands beside him, still angry. /end] Caption: And nobly does his duty. E'en though "sorrow" grips his suffering soul. Pupp: To think that I should have lived to snag my old pal, "Walter." Oh, why did I ever get myself got on the "force"? Bozwell: You've got the dern crook in jail, and he's got my billiard balls in his neck. But now, how am I gonna get them, huh? How?

LET'S PASS ON.

[ID: Krazy bends over to speak with Mrs. Plimmit Rokk, a hen roosting in a wooden crate full of hay. /end] Krazy: Well, well, well, "Mrs. Plimmit Rokk," how's things anyhow? Mrs. Rokk: Rotten!!!

[ID: Mrs. Rokk stands to inspect the three ovoid shapes in her nest. /end] Caption: And so gathers a heap of information. Rokk: Here I was, passing by "Mr. Bozwell Beegle's" billiard parlor last week, and what should I see on a big green table but these three eggs looking very sad, and very orphan like. Well, having a mother's heart under my left wing, I took them home, hoping to hatch the poor things.

[ID: Mrs. Rook kicks the billiard balls out of her nest, ZIPping them off into the air. Krazy catches them with a BLOP sound. /end] Mrs. Rook: But dawgunnem!!! I can't get a peep out of them. Take 'em away. I'm through with such ingrates!!!

[ID: Krazy carries the billiard balls back into town. /end] Krazy: I s'pose the best thing I can do is to put them back on Mr. Beegle's green table.

[ID: Krazy places them back on Bozwell's billiard table in a straight row. /end] Krazy: There now.

[ID: Bozwell returns to find his billiard balls back where he left them. /end] Bozwell: Bless my pale blue eye, they're back!!

[ID: Bozwell hurriedly runs off. /end] Bozwell: Oh, Officer "Pupp," Officer Pupp!!!

[ID: Bozwell excitedly tells Pupp the news. /end] Bozwell: The billiard balls are back. All three of them!!! Pupp: Then "Walter" is innocent. Thank goodness!!

[ID: Pupp questions the newly-freed Walter, who bends down to meet his eye level. /end] Pupp: Now that the shadow of the prison cell is offa you, "Walter," I ask you as a pal, tell me what is it, huh? "Adenoids," "tonsils," "quinsies," or what? Walter: Just vanity, "Officer Pupp," just the vanity of a foolish bird. I had an idea that a neck the length and grace of mine should have more than one "Adam's apple," and so I swallowed a couple of "Spitzbergens," and a "Johnathan" to satisfy my pride. But dawgunnit, it lands me in jail. Soon as these "apples" digest, I'll be satisfied with a neck without "Adam's apples," y'bet.

[ID: Officer Pupp walks happily down the street, twirling his baton as he goes. Krazy buys three eggs from a dog running a department store booth. Ignatz hides between wooden barrels and crates, lying in wait for the right moment to bean Krazy with a brick. /end] Shopkeep: Hatch? Of course them eggs will hatch. Why? Krazy: Oh, nuttin. Nuttin uttall. Pupp: ALL's well, all's well, for the nonce.

#newspaper comics #vintage #history #1922 #krazy kat #transcript available #1920s #billiards #apples #and criminal intrigue

[vellichor-of-the-solivagant]

How to Plant Snapdragons (pt. 2)

Task Force 141 + König + Keegan x Female Criminal!Reader (except Captain Price, because he'll be like a father to the bunch and König and Keegan won't appear until later on in the story)

CHAPTER SUMMARY: You cracked some eggs for breakfast and you absolutely don't feel sorry.

This is the Chapter 2 you are currently reading! Chapter 1 is here and the Masterlist!

CONTENT WARNING: Strong Language and a . . . bit of violence WORD COUNT: 2.8k

It was a failure.

Of course, it would be a failure.

You were chased by the rooster whose steps were as long as his fucking legs, like an ostrich on a stampede with you being the poor hamster in his way. He tried to grab you, which you dodged. You rejoiced, proud of yourself but then a bigger man slammed onto you, pinning you on the ground before you could take a couple of steps outside the building. You weren’t even sure where the hell Ghost came from. You were so sure only the handwash was after you, but damn, it was kind of nice to be in his chokehold.

Kind of nice was an understatement.

God, the man was built like a freaking fridge or a bear. Heavy, big . . . rock hard. And his thighs, ooh, his thighs that were choking you right now, felt just right. You wanted to run your hands on them, maybe even leave a bite, or lick his abs and down his crotch. Now that you think about it, weren’t you a bit too close to it?

A good day to be alive.

What would he feel if you moved a little closer, though?

But enough of that for now.

You wheezed in his grip, panting and grunting, maybe you had overestimated your strength against this beast and finally decided to pat him. After a couple of seconds, he let you go. You gasped for air, rolling on the floor to sit up and rubbing your throat. “God, I thought you were gonna kill me for good, sir.” You looked up at Ghost and smiled, but it was quickly removed from your lips when he grabbed the back of your collar and pulled your sorry ass to your feet.

“Keep doing shite and I’ll give Shepherd yer pretty little head.” He glared down at you, not letting your uniform go, like you were some poor, wet kitten full of snot and fleas he found in a gutter. Mayhaps, with a bit more training, he could make you a soldier who could kill, instead of a babbling chicken or an annoying puppy who would bark only to get attention.

"Ey, come on, Lt." You waved a hand in defense. "I'm just doing my daily exercise." You grinned, eyes sparkling innocently.

Somehow, you reminded him of Johnny, noisy and annoying. But the lad knew when to shut the fuck up and knew what to do, just as he was trained to be. You, on the other hand, do you even think before you talk and act?

Were you so dumb to say yes to serving in the military so you could be pardoned for an accidental massacre or robbery or did you fucking go to KFC and slap the shit out of a waiter with a tray when they couldn’t get your order right? Maybe, you broke into your professor’s house after they failed you in a test and burned the poor person in their pajamas. Because even though you did not look like you could punch someone without breaking a few bones first, you looked insane enough to pour wine on someone and set them on fire, then cackle at the top of your lungs.

Ah, then again, with the way you acted, it seemed you were forced into this labor instead.

“How do you think Shepherd will react if we kill her?” Soap questioned, raising a brow at the Lieutenant.

“Uhm, I’m right here,” you pointed at yourself, lips parting at the oddly casual tone in his voice. But then again, these guys were probably used to killing. Other than reading their profiles, you had heard stories about them from that one American—what was his name again? Well, you couldn’t remember but he was in Phillip Graves’ company. Man talked shit about the military, then proceeded to compliment the 141, especially the big boy with the skull face and why he was to be feared.

But, heh! The skull face looked silly in person—fucking hilarious and ridiculous even. It made you think, how was the dude even breathing with that thing on? You could imagine him sweating buckets underneath those layers and looking like he just had a shower after taking them off. Fuck, you could even imagine how he would smell—a mix of dirt, sweat, blood, and gunpowder. And maybe, add some musk there because in all the stories you had read, it was almost musk.

Did that sound appealing? No. Did you still think he was hot because he was having his secret shower underneath those clothes? Yes. Did you stutter? No shit.

Because, your honor, it looked good on the guy, like how Soap could look good in a freaking mohawk. Like, like, that trending Ghostface on Instagram and TikTok you watched before you were thrown in prison, which people found hot when they were spreading blood on the bathroom mirror but it was just food coloring. It was stupid, like why were they making a mess in their bathroom like some dumbass snotty brat that smelled of piss but you found it—

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit, do you have a mask kink?

The skull face looked scary. That was what made it hot.

The one with the skull face had the body of a refrigerator with a washboard glued on it, a package in front, and some good cakes on the back. That was what made him hot.

And there was this roughness and authority in his voice that you could wake up to, with him on top of you while he had a knife in his grasp and pointed at your neck and you’d say thank you to him.

Shiiiiiiii—

“Well, what would the General do if we kill you, lassie?” Soap asked again, turning to you.

If only this guy weren’t handsome, you would have already slapped him to oblivion. But alas, you couldn’t bring yourself to destroy such beauty. And his balls also looked too good to crack. Not that you had seen it, just an assumption. Which you, maybe, intend to find out if it was true. Just maybe, though.

You shrugged your shoulders. “How the hell would I know?”

“Wait,” Johnny squinted his eyes, leaning a bit too close for comfort, but if you think about it, it wasn’t so bad. You wished he'd move closer. “Are you perhaps . . . Shepherd’s sugar baby?” he whispered the last two words.

Ghost frowned under his mask and stared in disbelief at the Sergeant.

Your stomach immediately flipped and you felt your mouth water at the thought. “What the fuck—” You pursed your lips to stop your breakfast from going up your throat.

Ghost quickly let you go.

“Or not,” Soap claimed, raising his hands in defense and stepping away.

“That fucking—” You clamped your hand over your mouth and waited for your stomach to calm down. “That’s disgusting! That’s—eww, like, ugh.” Like thousands of spiders ran on your skin, you shivered in horror. "Yuck. You might as well torture me than have any sort of relationship with the old man!”

“Isn’t he the one who pulled you out of prison?” Soap questioned, crossing his meaty arms over his equally meaty chest.

You gazed at him as intently as you could. “Yes, and that’s it.”

Except the old man said otherwise and that was why you were here in the first place.

“Enough of this.” Ghost grabbed your collar once again and began dragging you away.

“Where are we going, sir?” You asked, trying to look at him, but the way he was holding you made it almost impossible. But hey, this was nice, not having to walk. You let your legs go limp and let him carry you. He also didn't seem to mind.

"Price ordered me to train you."

"Ooh, brilliant." Johnny grinned, his face bright with excitement, contrary to your pale face.

You stomped your feet on the floor, which made the Lieutenant halt, and you lunged onto Soap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and legs around his waist, shaking your head. "Nuh-uh, nuh-uh, I'm not ready to break bones."

Soap looked down on you, and hoo, Long Live the fucking King—he had never wanted to look in front of the mirror so bad to give himself a high five and say, 'ya lucky son of a bitch, having a lovely koala clinging onto yer good arse, eh?'.

Now that he thought about it, being in the military for so long, he wasn't able to meet someone cute very often. But he also didn't expect that when he finally met a cute girl, she'd be having a sentence for whatever crime she did under her belt! Tsk, tsk, tsk. If only he could remove that ankle monitor and hold your legs instead.

But he was raised a gentleman and would stay a gentleman.

"Sorry, Bonnie." Johnny smiled, eyes becoming soft and hands carefully held your waist so you wouldn't slip off. "Orders are orders."

Sometimes, you wish these men in 141 weren't such gentlemen. Captain Price, upon observation during the past week, acted like a good ol' father who came back from the convenience store to get milk and strawberry ice cream instead of the bourbon his sons forced him to buy.

Johnny was quick to vibe with, loud and noisy, and funny. Bright as the sun and puppy eyes. Kyle was easy to get along with as well, he was calm and gentle, but was mostly dragged into Soap’s nonsense which made him a bit violent when annoyed. Then, there was Simon. The man barely says a word and when he does, it was mostly snarky, smartass comments, and he appears and disappears like his sobriquet all the fucking time, and seemed to be cool and collected.

But you had heard enough stories to know these guys were more than that.

So, sometimes you wish these men weren't gentlemen—excluding the Captain, he can continue being the gentleman of all gentlemen for all you care—because surely when a girl clung onto a guy like this, they'd feel something. Anything. And then, they'd be bewitched, both body and soul. Or maybe, you had just read too much smut and fanfiction and those things just don't fucking happen in real life.

Soap’s chest felt good, though. And his abs and his hands on your waist. Hallelujah.

Your lips puckered. "Roger that." You unwrapped your legs from his waist and he leaned down, still holding you and carefully placing you down to your feet.

You blinked at the unexpected gesture. You were sure he'd just drop you down and push you away from him because even though they could be gentlemen, they still had limits and boundaries.

You couldn't help but grin. "Thank you, sir!" You beamed, patting his shoulder, before turning your back towards Ghost. "Now if you will, Lt. Please, drag me again, so I won't have to walk anymore."

Johnny chuckled and shook his head. Maybe, he was starting to get used to your shenanigans.

Simon huffed and rolled his eyes, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Walk, soldier."

"Eh, come on!"

"No."

The other rookies were already in the room when you three arrived and the lively atmosphere quickly faded as well. Johnny guided you to stand with the rest of the newcomers and joined Simon in front, who had already begun speaking.

Based on his tone, he didn’t like what he was doing, even for a bit.

Both guys on your left and right shot a glance at you. Scanning you from your hair that was neatly combed back, hairpins keeping the locks that didn’t want to stay in place, the shirt and shorts you changed into for physical training, and down to your legs. They gazed back up to your face again, looking so pure and innocent, if not for those chapped lips and bloody eyebags. The face of someone who totally wouldn’t commit a single crime. So, why the fuck did you have an ankle monitor?!

The guy on the left moved away from you. There was no good in associating himself with a criminal after all.

The guy on the right, well, he grinned and turned to you as soon as Ghost stopped talking, extending his hand to you. “Want to partner up with me?”

You look at the guy. Tall, appeared to be around your age, but a bit scrawny. Maybe, with more training, he’d be as big as the Lieutenant. But seriously, you had a tough luck. You were planning on grabbing a skinny rookie who looked like he just happened to get lost here. Because with an option like that, you could strangle him and blurt out some logic and luck. But other than this guy, the other rookies quickly scattered away from you.

You couldn’t even forfeit because your superiors would make your ears bleed and bend you in thousands of possible positions instead. And if you lose, they’ll make you run laps, which was the last thing you wanted to do in the morning.

You smiled and took a position. “Sure, why not?”

Well, maybe this extra was just taking pity on you. Nothing bad about that.

But now, you were too lazy to even think about shits and plans, and the guy who was having a field trip staring at your ass and legs.

Johnny elbowed Ghost and in a low voice, he asked, “Ye think she’ll be able to take that lad?”

“If she plays her cards right, possibly,” Simon replied and paused, sighing. “If she had the right cards.”

“If she can’t win against that one, then she won’t survive in the 141.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Simon raised a hand and shouted, “Start!”

For the next few bouts, you were repeatedly thrown over your partner's shoulder and twisted in a position not even Ghost had done to you, all the while looking blank and uninterested. You even had time to check your nails.

“So, what got you in prison?” asked the guy you partner up with, loud enough to make everyone else’s eyes turn toward your direction.

“Oh, brilliant,” Soap scowled and crossed his arms, “we got another condescending kid to teach a lesson.”

“What’re ya all just standin’ there?!” Ghost yelled, his loud voice booming in the gym. The others flinched and quickly shifted their attention back to their partners. Then, he raised a brow under his mask, confused as to why you remained on the floor, gazing up at the ceiling and panting heavily. Had you received too much beating that you became airheaded?

You sighed and pushed yourself up from the floor, getting up on your feet. The man didn’t make a move to attack you—dumbass, as if that made him look a gentleman after he threw you around like a ball—and so, you straightened up. “I guess, everyone thinks I’m a threat, huh?” you asked in a soft voice.

“Oh, did that come off as rude?” The guy scratched the back of his neck and laughed as if that would end that all. But he knew, he had already gotten people’s attention.

“Hey!” Soap approached them, glaring between you and the boy. The softness that you had seen in his pretty eyes earlier was long gone. “If you two don’t move your asses, you can go run outside now.”

“Ah, sorry, sir, it’s just . . . I guess, it’s time to speak of my case if it’ll make others more comfortable around me. “ You paused and sighed. Soap kept silent as he watched you square up and lift your chin. “My ex, he framed me for his murder. I couldn’t do anything about it, because he knew someone in the court. I . . .” You sniffed, looked down at the ankle monitor, and blinked rapidly.

Oh, shit, was all Johnny could think and glanced over his shoulder to look at the Lieutenant. She’s innocent, after all.

Ghost could only meet Soap’s gaze, before shifting his gaze on you.

On the other hand, everyone else in the room was staring at you, contemplating, feeling guilty about the story they heard.

“Damn, are you alright?” the guy put a hand on your shoulder, which makes you look up.

You nodded. “Yeah.” You smiled and put a hand on his arm. “If that makes you a bit comfortable around me now, I’m glad . . .”

The guy grinned. “I’m glad, too—”

“You’re a fool.” You drove your knee on his crotch with all your might and repeatedly without hesitation.

Johnny’s mouth dropped and his eyes widened, almost looking like they were going to pop out of their sockets. While, an unusual grimace appeared on Ghost’s face, making him thankful for his mask.

You grinned so wide and cackled.

You did not have the right cards. You had a wild card.

Chapter 3 is here!

You can also read the series on AO3 here!

Taglist: @yyiikes and @the-faceless-bride (Thank you for the comments, you two!)

#cod 141 #call of duty #cod x reader #cod mw2 #141 x reader #task force 141 #simon ghost riley #simon riley x you #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #ghost x you #john soap mctavish x reader #john soap mactavish #soap x you #soap mactavish #soap x reader #kyle gaz garrick #gaz x reader #gaz x you #konig x reader #konig cod #konig call of duty #john price #captain john price #keegan p russ #cod keegan #keegan russ x reader #ghost smut #gaz smut #soap smut

[the-firebird69]

"Her nobles shall be no more, nor shall kings be proclaimed there; all her princes are gone. (13) Her castles shall be overgrown with thorns, her fortresses with thistles and briers. She shall become an abode for jackals and a haunt for ostriches. (14) Wildcats shall meet with desert beasts, satyrs shall call to one another; There shall the Lilith repose, and find for herself a place to rest. (15) There the hoot owl shall nest and lay eggs, hatch them out and gather them in her shadow; There shall the kites assemble, none shall be missing its mate. (16) Look in the book of the LORD and read: No one of these shall be lacking, For the mouth of the LORD has ordered it, and His spirit shall gather them there. (17) It is He who casts the lot for them, and with His hands He marks off their shares of her; They shall possess her forever, and dwell there from generation to generation."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilith#:~:text=Her%20nobles%20shall,generation%20to%20generation.

I'm not going to fart it out my ass and the Lord is Max and they're ordering stuff this is what I know and I've got their code and he says to release it surreptitiously tell the computer so I thought I got it out I don't know I don't think so someone has to listen to me and it'll be Jason I'm going to tell him I'm going to go to him

You're asking if I didn't help Biden to help I get it

Lily

My code the Mac code the first two numbers mean Marines and army and I sort of see something you're trying to decode it and she wouldn't tell you I needed that

Bja

I'm going to send it now

Lily

[pandoramusicbox]

Day four

So I mentioned the pearl creating abilities of seafolk.

It’s a rare occasions and can only occur when two kinds of conditions are meet.

First of the seafolk needs to be of the calcium mesh variety. Specifically one who has an excess of carbon in their diet.

Second the seafolk needs to be under some kind of stress. This is not necessarily physical stress but also emotional.

Why they are often called mermaid tears.

If this second condition is not meet the calcium goop comes out as a shiny but not pearlecent.

The pearl is most often formed in the mouth and is used to expel toxins and is a form of crying. To get rid of excess material is important in a diet full of minerals and fish with mercury in the body.

Those without the calcium mesh often change these minirals for brighter bioluminescent, metal laced scales or expel them from other means.

I would like to expand a bit on the calcium goop while I am at it.

The calcium goop is generally white to off white in color, with flecks and stripes of other pastel colors

But Some neptonians have found that they an change the color of the goop by eating certain things or chewing on materials while they are making it.

It is slime almost mucus like when first formed. It can become sticky if stretched or kneeded but has a texture more akine too mochi or settled dough to start out with.

If pulled thin it looks and acts a lot like spider’s web. Until it hardens and first because the rubbery texture of cocking (a silicone material used to seal doorways and windows) before finally hardening into a texture like an ostrich egg shell or a ceramic bowl.

Neptonians have been known to add other chemicals to this mesh in order to keep it from moving from one texture to another.

The mesh is mostly used for construction but is also used for creating artwork and everyday household items.

Though once it has hardened it will break when dropped. It is not bouncy even in the silicone like state.

It’s a rather remarkable substance with a lot of use, so is quite valuable outside of the empire as it is in the empire.

#worldbuilding #pandoramusicbox #worldbuildingculture #fantasy creature #gross domestic product #mermaid #pearls #slime #fantasy species #fantasy culture #31 day challenge

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Are there any distinctive differences (or rather trends) between Western VS Eastern religions in how they were constructed/are practiced today?

I don't have a huge amount of experience with Eastern religions, so this is really just my impression, rather than an informed comparative religion thesis.

In short, not really.

Islam is derived from Xianity, Xianity from Judaism, Judaism from earlier Canaanite and Mesopotamian religions.

Ditto the Eastern religions have taken from and been influenced by other Eastern religions. Concepts of karma, reincarnation, dharma, and "everything is one" all seem to be borrowed from each other across Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Jainism, Shintoism, etc. While their adherents would disagree, there's not as much daylight in between their core concepts as they might like to think.

Abrahamism is somewhat unique in that it has consolidated all the various gods into a single deity who should be (but somehow is not) held responsible for everything, including all the randomness, inconsistency and unfairness in the world, where Eastern and the predecessors to Judaism, including Hellenism, had a whole pantheon of mercurial gods with their own domains and competing interests, priorities and relationships.

While the mythology of the polytheisms mostly plays out in some inaccessible godly realm, with the exception of the rebellion of Lucifer, Abrahamism plays out in the dusty, dirty, mortal human realm, where we can say that purported actions such as walking on water are idiotic and false.

Being set in our real world rather than Olympus or Takamagahara, and fleshing out the character list with humans - since heaven contains only the Abrahamic god and his remaining angel-slaves - Abrahamists have forgotten that their characters and mythology are fictional. They've confused characters such as Jesus, Moses, Abraham, etc, for literal historical figures. Whereas something like Hinduism is practically its own comic book superhero universe, and I don't think anyone is actually arguing about Historical Ganesh or Historical Inari Ōkami.

Across both Eastern and Western domains you've got a ton of magical thinking about how the world works, a lot of fixation on death and trying to imagine there's something after or beyond it in order to alleviate that fear, and a lot of superstition and unhealthy attitudes around virginity, sexual purity (for both men and women), and menstruation. In more modern times, Hinduism seems to have learned at the feet of Islam, and across the board, all these faith traditions are trying to pretend that their religion was right the whole time.

e.g. Muslims trying to pretend that the quran doesn't say that the Earth is flat and instead acting like "spread out" is a description of the oblate spheroid shape of the Earth; this gets worse when they try to insist it means "spread out" like an "ostrich egg".... which is a prolate spheroid, not oblate.

e.g. Hindus trying to pretend that the poorly-defined, unverifiable and unmeasurable concept of karma is basically the same thing as Newton's well-defined, detectable and measurable Third Law of Motion, or that their vague and poetic "everything is one" is the same as quantum mechanics.

As religiosity across the whole population appears to be dropping, average religiosity among individuals who are left naturally rises, and there's a certain desperation at trying to remain relevant, especially as COVID has shown the futility of these beliefs in gaining protection or relief from it.

#ask #Western religions #Eastern religions #christianity #islam #judaism #hinduism #buddhism #taoism #jainism #shintoism #canaanite religion #mesopotamiam religion #monotheism #polytheism #hellenic polytheism #hellenism #religion is a mental illness

[flameo-hotman]

I really liked this adoption menu for zuko ♡ it is a very creative idea. I want to know the 27 because its my favourite number.

This one is actually pretty cute. You have placed an order for Zuko adoption number 27. Zuko gets adopted by Hope’s parents and gets a lesbian aunt.

The cracking of the cook fire certainly didn't do anything to help with the heat, but you couldn't go and feed a pregnant woman raw meat. Ying knew this. Than knew this. And Wei Su knew this.

Thud.

A half-starved teen fell off his ostrich horse and rolled down the hill into the camp unconscious.

Wei Su, her brother, and her sister-in-law all blinked at the teen in shock and confusion for a few moments, before Than rushed over and checked the teen's pulse.

“He's alive, just unconscious and...” He felt the teen's forehead, “A bit warm. Wei Su, can you go get some water for him, while I see if we have any smelling salts?”

“Sure thing,” And with that, she grabbed one of their water skins.

The guy seemed groggy when Than got him to wake up, but he probably had heatstroke, so getting him cooled off and some water would help with that.

“What brings you this way, son?” Than asked the teen.

The teen did not answer, instead choosing to accepting the water skin and taking a sip.

“Than, the boy just wake up surrounded by strangers,” Ying chastised, before gesturing for Wei Su to come to help her up.

Once on her feet, Ying walked over to the teen and sat down across from him.

The teen regarded her with confusion and suspicion.

“My name is Ying. Than is my husband, and she,” Ying said gesturing to Wei Su, “Is his sister, Wei Su.”

The teen studied Ying for a few moments before he relaxed and rasped, “Lee.”

Lee made to get up, but Ying stopped him with a stern look, saying, “Oh, you're not going anywhere, young man. You are in no condition to be traveling alone, right now.”

“I can do whatever I want,” Lee answered, getting up anyways, before stumbling and swaying. Than shot up and steadied the boy, but Lee slapped his hand away.

The fire went from crackling to roaring, and Wei Su saw the way the Lee winced.

“I should be going,” Lee told them after he took a deep breath, but Ying was having none of that.

Nope, she got back to her feet and planted her hands on her hips, before ordering, “Lee, sit down. At the very least I want to make sure you eat some food before you go riding off to your death.”

Lee, for all of his prickles, obeyed.

Wei Su was pretty sure Ying just adopted the boy.

And sure enough, when Lee attempted to leave yet again after dinner, Ying insisted that it would be better if he stayed at their camp for the night. She needed to make sure he ate something in the morning and she would worry about him if she didn't at least know he had eaten breakfast.

And well Lee couldn't bring himself to worry a pregnant woman, so with even less resistance he relented and offered to take the first watch.

Than laughed, clapping him on the back, “This far into Earth Kingdom lands we don't get a lot of Fire Nation soldiers. I wouldn't be worried about that, son.”

Lee looked uncomfortable, but he said nothing, as he laid out his bed roll.

The next morning, Ying had him help her make breakfast, claiming she wanted to make sure he knew how to feed himself. Not more than 15 minutes later, Ying was horrified and turned it into a real cooking lesson.

Lee did not have the faintest idea on how cooking worked beyond the fact that fire was involved.

“You are staying with us until you know how to make yourself a proper meal, Lee,” Ying stated, and Wei Su knew she was right. Ying did adopt him.

Halfway to Ba Sing Se, they learned that he didn't have a passport, so they had to take a quick detour to get him one.

“Yes, sir, my son's passport was destroyed, when we were attacked by fire benders,” Ying informed the soldier manning the passport office. “If you could reissue him one, we would be grateful.”

The soldier glanced at her pregnant belly and then sighed, “Alright, fill out this form and I'll get a new one written up for him, ma'am.”

“Lee, could you go with Wei Su to the market and get a bag of feed for Mushi?”

“Uh, yes... Mom,” Was Lee's hesitant answer.

It sounded like he hadn't called someone mother in many years, and Wei Su felt her heartbreak.

Lee was handing over money for the feed, when a kid chucked an egg at the nearby soldiers.

“Hey!” The hit soldier growled, marching over to Lee. “You throwing eggs at us, stranger?”

Lee didn't even look at the man, as he accepted the bag of feed, answering, “No.”

“You see who did throw it?”

Lee turned around slowly, his hand moving to the hilt of his swords, and answered, “No.”

The soldier looked over to Wei Su and asked, “What about you pretty lady? You see anything?”

“I didn't. Now leave us alone,” She answered, feeling her skin crawl with the leer the man gave her.

The soldier reached for her, but before she could make a move to react and slap his hand away, the tip of a sword rested against the man's throat.

Lee glared at the man with loathing, and spat, “Hands to yourself, or you lose them.”

The soldier put his hands up and backed away, grumbling, “Your girlfriend ain't even all that pretty.”

“You filthy peas-” Lee began, but Wei Su stopped him, shooting back, “Lee, let's go.”

And with that, they walked away from the soldiers.

The kid who'd thrown the egg, rushed over to them, babbling, “Thanks for not ratting me out.”

“You shouldn't be throwing eggs at soldiers, kid,” Wei Su told him, not wanting to know what those jerks would have done to the kid if he decided to do a repeat of earlier.

The kid grimaced and answered, “I only did it because they are bullies.”

“Is that so...” Lee asked, voice going low and thoughtful.

Wei Su did not want to know what her nephew was planning.

They stayed the night with the kid's family, and the next day headed out for the road to Ba Sing Se again, and on the way out, she got a good idea of just what Lee had done.

The soldier's barracks were a pile of smoldering rubble.

“Lee, what did you do?” Ying asked in horror, looking at her son from her spot on the ostrich horse, Mushi.

Lee answered, plainly, “They were bullies.”

“Lee, they will take it out on the villagers!” Wei Su shouted.

“No, they won't,” Lee refuted. “I made sure they saw me. Their commander put them on active duty.”

“THEY SAW YOU FIRE BEND!!” Ying chastised, “Lee, they will hunt you down and kill you!”

Lee looked surprised for a moment, but he shrugged, and answered, “They won't look for me in Ba Sing Se.”

He looked a little nervous now though. Nervous and confused.

“Wait... Lee's a fire bender?” Than asked, confused, “I thought he was gay?”

“What?” Lee asked even more confused.

“Well, Wei Su is gay and the two of you hang out a lot?”

Lee glanced between her and her brother, and finally answered, “Oh, I didn't know that... I mean I might be? But I am a fire bender.”

“So? Who's the guy that caught your eye then, Mr. I Might Be Gay?” Wei Su asked, breaking the tension by teasing her nephew playfully.

Lee flushed bright red, sputtering, “I-I What? There isn't a guy!”

Ying gave Lee her mom eyebrow, that she'd been practicing ever since she'd adopted a feral teenage fire bender.

“Well, there is a guy but he probably hates me...” Lee admitted, caving under the look Ying gave him.

Ying sighed, “Lee. What did you do?”

“Attacked his village?”

“YOU DID WHAT?”

#flameo-hotman #ask the hotman #zuko adoption menu #zuko #hope's parents #zukka #but it is mentioned briefly #Anonymous

[bluepenguinstories]

Remoras Full Chapter XL: Please Don’t Take My Sunshine Away

I

There’s that old saying: “things get worse before they get better.”

Perhaps that’s true. It is in most cases. But then there was also that one about calms before storms. Sometimes it could be hard to tell which phrase applied when.

Is it over? At last? I thought when the sky cleared and the frozen mashed potato landscape I came to know as snow lit up and an orange warm glow lit up in the distance.

I remember how I took what must have been the largest sigh of relief. For the rest of the day, even for a few days, it really felt like it was all over.

Scared refugees, people who once may have known a sense of normalcy, all huddled in fear. They too changed their tune once the beauty such a cold and barren place could bring. Less scared, more excited. Some were hesitant, yes, but a good few got up, headed for the door.

“Wait!” I snapped.

Two, no, three of them, looked my way. Both in confusion and horror at the sharpness of my tone. I too was a little startled even though I had grown used to it at that point.

“We don’t know how long it will last, or if it’s truly over,” I explained to them.

“Oh, come on!” An older man complained, thin gray hairs on an otherwise bald head. He looked grizzled, like someone who would have worked in a mine, or a construction site. Burly, with a wide stance, grit teeth.

He was the first, but the others began stirring up a commotion as well.

“We can’t just wait! If it’s going to get worse, we should go before it happens!”

“You can’t keep us here forever!”

Do you even think I want you here?

More was spoken, but each turn of phrase was drowned out by another. It turned into a storm.

“Go ahead and die, then, if you’re so eager to!” I was so tempted to say, but I hadn’t yet reached such a point. Instead, I turned to Wendy, who was seated somewhat toward the back, in the second booth. She looked listless, like she was staring off into space. From what I knew of her, it was more the opposite: she was gauging the situation.

“Wendy, can you take these people to the airport? After that, you can go wherever you want,” I instructed for her, as if it were some mission and I was the one at the helm.

Her face was still fixed on nowhere in particular, like it was focused on a speck of dust on a counter top. However, her eyes, ever slight in motion, turned my way. Then, a hint of a smile could have been traced upon her face.

“Are you sure that’s a risk you’re willing to take?” Her cinnamon-like voice rasped out the question.

Of course I’m not sure, but I don’t want to live without taking risks.

“Yes. If it gets bad again, I’ll reach out to you,” I answered after a moment of silence.

“How will you reach out to me?” Her voice was less husky that time, more absent, like one gets late into a tiring night.

I don’t know how. I’m in a constant state of not knowing enough and it’s too much.

“I’ll figure out a way,” I assured her.

She stood up and walked toward the door. Her arm raised and she made little waving motions in the air both as a playful gesture of goodbye as well as a motion for everyone who wasn’t Sunny, Tigershark, or I to head to the door.

“Bye sword lady!” Tigershark waved back to Wendy.

“Thanks for your help,” Sunny added in. Both of them stood beside me near the kitchen. For those precious few months where we had to scramble to deal with everything, it was Tigershark in the kitchen while Sunny and I took turns watching everyone in the dining area and passing around food. In a way, if not for the horrible circumstances, it would have been nostalgic. Like how so many years ago, I was in the kitchen while Sunny and Elodie, just a small creature, took orders and served the patrons.

It’s been too long since this place was an actual restaurant. And it may never be one of those ever again.

When everyone left, the three of us remained inside, hesitant. Even small Tigershark, with her joyous energy, was fixated on the window. None of us could pull ourselves away, and it made it hard to understand where to go from there.

Then, naive as we were, the next day came: clear skies once more. Sharp and coarse freezing air greeted us when we opened the front door and stuck our hands through as a meager test. It felt like the deepest layer of hell. In other worse, paradise.

Joyous rapture, Tigershark ran toward the back to grab her parka, then headed out the front door.

“Don’t stray too far!” Sunny called after her.

“I won’t! I just want to play in the snow!”

Again, we were so naive.

Sunny and I spent much of that afternoon in each other’s arms. Careless, we both fell asleep against each other at one of the booths, our faces pressed against the window. When we awoke, the fog had returned. At first, we thought it was just our breaths and condensation. But then we saw that void, that vapid nothingness. Neither light nor dark. Just inescapable gray blurs spilled over the sky.

We bolted out of our seats.

“Where’s Tigershark?” Sunny asked.

“Good question…” I squinted, then pulled my glasses from out of my lapel.

The two of us searched high and low throughout the diner with no success. The only place we avoided was the basement. Such a silly place to overlook, but as it turns out…

The diner’s front door flapped open and slammed against the wall adjacent. We ran in its direction and what burst forth from the door was the hooded figure of a redheaded devil, one who ran into my arms as I knelt down. There were cuts all over her face and she looked frostbitten; an uncontrollable stiffness covered her, almost blue in the face, and the only thing which helped animate her, brought her to life, were the tears which flooded her eyes.

“Where were you?” I asked, and by no means did I intend for my words to be harsh, yet the tone suggested anger rather than worry. All the same, I held her tight.

“I’m sorry!” She wailed and sniffled. I rubbed her back. “I ran off and before I knew it, the fog came back!”

“Don’t be sorry,” I tried to reassure her, “none of us knew it would come back.”

Although I had my suspicions.

“We were just worried, is all,” Sunny added, who stood beside me, and soon dropped to her knees as well. Within the minute, all three of us were huddled together.

Once Tigershark calmed herself down, as did Sunny and I, she explained everything:

“I wanted to run to Remora’s house. I thought maybe she was back there, you know, like how things were in the beginning when she would go back and forth. I know she said it burned down, but I found it, and yes, everything was burned inside, but it still stood.”

“I had no idea,” my words, a near whisper. I wonder if Remora ever revisited that house, or if she left it behind for good.

“There wasn’t a trace of her. There wasn’t much of anything,” Tigershark went on, a sniffle here and there, “I knew she probably wasn’t...but I just thought…”

“Why?” It sprung out. No elaboration. Tigershark broke away, looked at Sunny and I both.

“She saved me, right? When there was that blizzard that took my parents! So, maybe, she’d be there to save us again, and all I would have to do would be to tell her about the fog.”

I shook my head.

“I’m sorry. I wish it worked that way.”

“Hey, that was a dangerous thing to do, but I can see why you’d think that,” Sunny snapped her fingers, “now come on, try and give me a big smile!”

To demonstrate, Sunny smiled wide. Tigershark, well, she tried, but her lips shook, and it wasn’t for the cold, but for her emotions at play. When I thought she would bawl again, she instead sucked up some air, then let out a deep breath.

“I don’t remember everything and I don’t know if I ever will but I remember my name. I remember I’m Rotellina Littlewheel.”

It seemed so random for her to say, but when she told me her given name, it all clicked: the researcher couple, the Littlewheels. Mead and Ginny Littlewheel. Mead had hair like honey, always wore those stiff scrub-like lab coats and had a drunken posture to him. He always ordered the usual: turkey leg, scrambled ostrich eggs, and buttered brioche toast. Then Ginny, a sweet woman who had a preoccupied mind. Always had research on the back of her mind. Always changed up her dish, but if I had to not a common food of hers, it would have to have been biscuits and gravy with chocolate potato cake.

Those two, while not eccentric, brought me a mild interest. Especially how they mentioned anomalies, like animals which shouldn’t have existed in this environment, or caves which seemed to have sprung up from thin air. I should have known something was up when they stopped showing up, but I just figured they were busy. Maybe there was a partial truth to that, at least up to their deaths.

“Yes, I’ve met your parents before,” I told the child.

“You have?” Tigershark’s jaw dropped.

Sunny nodded and added:

“We both did. I was always just passing by, but they were neat people. I remember them mentioning having a daughter, but they never showed any pictures.”

“Indeed,” I corroborated Sunny’s explanation, “I told them they should bring their daughter sometime and Ginny would tell me that they’d love to, if they could ever find a break from work.”

“So we could have still met!” Tigershark’s eyes lit up.

“Yes, if only under better circumstances.”

She shook her head.

“Still. I’m glad Remora found me. I’m glad I found all of you. She probably didn’t think about it. I know she wasn’t my parents, she wasn’t even much of a sister sometimes, but I still care about her and I still miss her.”

“We all do,” I assured her.

“Can you guys keep calling me Tigershark? It’s important to me,” she seemed to change the subject just as fast.

“Of course, dear,” Sunny and I spoke in unison.

It’s funny to think that even that was a pleasant memory compared to what was to come. I wasn’t sure, it must have been gradual, but it didn’t feel that way. My reaction to the change in environment felt like a shoe which I already knew would fit without even having to try it on.

We went now, more than a year after such a mess. Almost a year and a half had passed and I grew to resembled what lay outside the diner. I found myself shattered, fragments, glass shards of whatever it was I once was.

Tigershark, herself, came to understand the importance of staying inside. Her injuries that day had been all the proof she needed. Ever since, she kept herself laser focused on cooking and baking in the kitchen for all of our inhabitants.

I tapped the door to the kitchen with the back of my hand. Those days, I was a man of few words, save to complain about how my life had ended up.

Tigershark stood on a stool, stirring a giant bowl of mashed potatoes.

I wished to wave to her, say something, anything, but I didn’t. I just let the door close and walk past.

“Order up!” She yelled, and even with the incessant chatter from those who took up residence, her voice rose past them all.

As I looked out among the crowd with their concerns and uproar, I wondered what kind of role I had put myself in: was I really to be a leader when I couldn’t even keep my own morale high? Sunny continued to be in high spirits, her laughing and telling stories to the folks beside her. But it must have been forced, right? There was no way to be in denial of such a situation, yet I had succumbed to the pressure of trying to keep everything together while she was her usual self. I didn’t hate her for it, but I could no longer envy her either. Like it or not, I had to be the person I became, because the one who tried to be a ray of sunshine was as good as dead.

There went Astraea, the mysterious child-like figure with the spider-silk hair which seemed to take on a life of its own with the way it flew back in every direction as she walked. She walked past me, not even commenting on my blank stare, and went into the kitchen to get the food from Tigershark to take to the others. While there was always something off about her, both in speech and action, I allowed her to work as a waitress. Child labor laws aside, it could have been a sign of either my passivity or my desperation to have something resembling a functional system.

Beside Astraea, followed the sister of silence, Sister Cecilia. Another mysterious force to which I just didn’t care enough to look into, let alone give her much thought. She insisted on working, but I couldn’t imagine why. If I was someone seeking shelter, wouldn’t it have been enough just to know that I was taken care of?

Then again, everyone is different and I can’t expect to understand the perspective of everyone I meet.

That was the first thought. Then came the second thought:

Nor would I want to know everyone.

Despite that thought, there were things that I wanted to know. Things which refused to make themselves known to me. Long hours I spent at my desk in the back, just pondering, and trying to piece together a puzzle with nary a clue in sight.

First the strange things in the arctic, then the trap in the mansion. Remora suspected it to be a cosmic entity before her dismissal. Wendy later claimed it had to be the work of a cosmic entity once she saw the fog. But she also said they had to represent an emotion. So then, what? Every act that could have been linked to this possible ‘entity’ has been random. With the mansion it was ‘consume others and drain them of their sense of self’, with the beasts that looked like an amalgamation of various animals which shouldn’t fit together, and then this fog, a still nothingness which injures anyone who walks through. If one were to stay in there long enough –

I’d shake my head at my desk.

If it was just the thing with the mansion, I’d ask myself, “is hunger an emotion?” True, hunger is a feeling, but so are other physiological responses. With all the things that don’t add up, however, it does bring to mind cosmic entities, but not the kind Wendy described. When it came to things like Cthulhu or Yog-Sothoth, the whole point was that they were beyond comprehension, beyond understanding. But in that sense, wouldn’t the thing at the mansion fit, or at least fit the idea people have when they think of such things? Some incomprehensible beast with infinite knowledge? It was like how some would perceive such a being to be.

So maybe it all came down to perception: the mansion itself was perceived to be haunted, when really there was something far worse. That there would be penguins appear in the arctic is like how some might mistake the arctic for the antarctic region. Those creatures? It was like a mash up of what was ‘supposed’ to appear. Then, the fog...maybe like a blizzard without the winds and snow, but the danger that comes with a blizzard?

Gah. That didn’t quite add up either. I thought I was on the right track, and maybe I was, but it was still just a little out of my reach.

Something that is perceived to be, but off.

There was that other thing Wendy said, and when I thought about it, something clicked: they usually possessed a human host, and that everything that happened seemed deliberate, targeted, even, then it must have been someone under its influence.

If not for their deaths, I would have suspected that ‘Cronus’ fellow, or whoever it was Remora encountered and fought in the cave. Maybe they were hosts, in their own way, but it could have been that they weren’t the main one. So if there was a main one…

There were two immediate suspects.

She appeared a few weeks after the activity picked back up and more strangers had taken shelter. It was early spring and not long after I explained the situation to Cybele. There was no warning, and in fact, she showed up with a bubbly sing-song expression and a wide grin upon her face. It would have been normal, even welcome, if not for the danger which lurked outside.

“Astraea has arrived!” She announced herself and strolled through the dining hall. Odder still was her attire: a plain white T-shirt which stretched past her knees with the characters ‘せいそ’ written in the middle and a fashionable pair of skinny jeans. She had a brown bag with a strap over her shoulder, and a plush toy of some character from something poking their head out from the bag.

One patron, despite their mortified expression from what might have been terror at the thought that leaving the door open could ‘let in’ whatever was outside, got up to close the door that Astraea had left hanging open. For her part, she turned around and swayed her head across the room.

“Wow! There are many humans here!” She remarked. Then, she turned back to face me. “And, who might you be?” She stood on her tiptoes and looked up. In turn, I looked down, scratched my chin, and grasped at straws for an answer.

“I’m confused,” I replied, “where are your parents? Why did you come alone?”

She closed her eyes and shook her head, though continued to look up.

“I have been told about those, but have none. As for why I came alone, it’s because I did not come with anyone else!”

That’s too obvious of an answer. Like asking why something was round and being told “because it’s not flat.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have come alone. It’s dangerous out there.”

Maybe that should have been a sign. Others have come alone, yes, but…

“And why is that, Confused? By the way, you have an interesting name. I have never thought to be an adjective before, let alone a mood.”

“Uh, no. My name is Ray Sunshine.”

“Ah –” She let out a sound, sure to have had more to say, but Tigershark ran out at full speed.

“Astraea!” Tigershark yelled and her arms were raised high.

“Me!” Astraea replied, and the two embraced for a hug.

“Right,” I adjusted the cuff of my suit, “I’ll leave you two to your reunion.”

“Ray! This is Astraea!” Tigershark let go and turned to me. “I told you about her, remember?”

“Yes, and now I’ve met her.”

“What have you been up to all this time?” She turned back to Astraea.

“Well...I walked to this place called Japan and I tried singing some songs and then these guys in suits found me and recorded me doing karaoke and people started calling me an ‘idol’ and some even said I was their goddess, and I think they were a little confused, so I went on record and told them: ‘There has been a mistake. Astraea is not a goddess, Astraea is a human. Therefore I am leaving. Bye.’ After that, I decided to walk around a bit and now I am here.”

“Wow! How much of that is true?” Tigershark’s arms were pressed together in joy as she stood in awe of such a tale.

“Yes,” Astraea replied.

“I’m really happy to see you, but I won’t have much time to spend with you, I’m afraid,” Tigershark broke the news.

“Why?” Astraea tilted her head and looked puzzled.

“Because I have to cook for all these people!”

“Why do you have to?”

“You don’t,” I cut in, “your friend’s right. You’re free to enjoy yourself if you’d like. I can take over.”

“No! I need to help too! I like cooking and I don’t want you to be stressed about everything!”

I took a step back and my head jerked back as well. My eyes widened, and for a second, I wanted to thank her. Instead, I pressed my glasses up, then cleared my throat.

“I see. Very well.”

“So it has come to this,” Astraea closed her eyes and smiled, then pointed at Tigershark, the tip of her finger almost at Tigershark’s nose, “if I wish to spend the most time with you, how may I do so?”

“I’ve got an idea! You can be a waitress!” Sunny got up from whatever seat she had been at. “Sorry! I couldn’t help but overhear the whole thing!”

“She’s a kid,” I pointed out, “besides, does she know how to do that?”

Astraea shook her head and smiled wide.

“I do not know how to do a waitress,” she stated, her breathy words floated out from her.

“Then I don’t see a point,” I concluded.

“I can teach her,” Sunny was insistent.

“Fine, do what you want,” I waved off, then began to walk to the back.

“Hey!” Sunny called after me.

“What?”

“You’ve got people helping out. I know this is difficult to deal with, but you’re not alone. There’s Wendy, Tigershark, and I. Hell, there’s even Aurora. Yes, our resources may slowly deplete and we didn’t expect to deal with such a thing, but isn’t it more manageable with others helping out? So one more person should be fine, yes?”

You don’t understand. I’d rather have been alone.

“Sure,” I shrugged and walked off.

Nothing has changed since then. No, that’s not true. Little has changed since then. Wendy returned once to take some people back to wherever they came from. It was a little after Astraea had arrived, and Wendy left just as soon as she arrived. It should have been a relief to see more people go, return to the safety of their homes.

It wasn’t.

More people came in, from where, I didn’t know. It filled me with questions, filled me with dread. Why? Why didn’t they take heed of the danger? What led them to wander inside? Was it of their own volition or were they just puppets and props? Unreal, yet life-like.

While things remained hectic, I persisted. We did, I meant. Or maybe I didn’t know what I meant anymore.

Toward the tail end of spring and summer crept up (seasons were used as a unit of measurement, and didn’t reflect anything on the weather we experienced), I received a call from a number I didn’t recognize. I was seated in the back, at my desk, and as usual, lost in thought.

“Who is this?” I answered, against my better judgment.

“Unblock Demetria’s number, you coward,” of course. That sly hiss mixed with an equal measure of dead seriousness and the pitch of a blue jay.

“Wendy? Why are you calling?” I replied, a little miffed by the suddenness of the situation.

“To tell you to unblock Demetria’s number.”

“OK. Why?”

“You need a way to keep in contact with me, right?”

Yes, but why do you have her phone? I felt like that was a vital question that was left unanswered.

“Fine,” I sighed, “I’ll play along.”

I scrolled down on my phone and unblocked Demetria’s number. I still didn’t really understand why.

When I went to put the phone back to my ear, it was silent. I checked, and she hung up. Then, my phone rang again. This time from Demetria’s number.

“Bitch,” she rasped.

“Is that all you called to say?”

“No,” her voice changed to that hiss she had when she sounded more playful, “but it needed to be said.”

“OK. I take it you met up with her?”

I reclined in my chair. I could have really used a smoke, but I resisted the urge.

“Yeah, you could say that. Her tracking skills are impeccable, it’s rather frightening.”

“What did she want with you?” I felt a hint of disappointment and dismay on the tip of my tongue. Not from Wendy, but from myself at the thought that Demetria could return, despite my worst wishes.

“She wanted to get away from home for a while, figured it would be a good idea to crash with me.”

“You didn’t tell her about the situation up here, did you?”

“I didn’t,” she stated, as simple as that.

At least I can ease my mind in that regard.

“So why do you have her phone?”

“You know how those types of girls can get: she’s at a point in her life when she keeps thinking she has to start over, be a new person. So she had it in her head that if I held onto her phone for her, it would be easier to do just that.”

Was that right? Well, I suppose from what I knew about her from her time here, it would track.

“That’s unfortunate. I hope she figures herself out one day.”

“Yeah. In a way, I think she already has, but you know, it’s like she’s always changing. Taking on a new image. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was a chameleon one day. Anyway, if you ever want me to come back to the diner, just give this number a call. I figured it would make things easier for both of us.”

“Yeah. I guess. I’ll call if I need you back.”

“Good. Hey Ray?”

“Yeah?”

“Any new ideas? Anything come to mind lately?”

“Hmm...Astraea is a bit weird,” I mentioned.

“Ah, yeah, but what kid isn’t?”

“True. In that case, no. I’ve got nothing.”

“That’s a shame. I was hoping we’d have some kind of progress.”

“It is what it is. Hope’s in short supply these days,” I couldn’t help being dour.

“Hey. Short supply doesn’t mean no supply. Talk to you later, Ray.”

Indeed, short supply doesn’t mean no supply. It means that it’s soon to run out.

There were times when I would forget Aurora was still around. Or times when I wondered if they had all but died out. Such wonders were put to rest one day when she entered the diner, not looking so proud or manic, but instead as weary as I had been. By then, it was near winter, and it wasn’t the cold that made people stir-crazy, but my adamant stance that no one was to venture outside.

So then when Aurora walked in, I knew there would be some people pointing her out, as if her entrance was a slight against them.

“Why does she get to come and go as she pleases while we’re stuck in here?!” One man roared.

She ignored his complaint and walked up to me. As for me, I leaned off to my side and addressed that man.

“Her and her crew live in the train right beside this diner. If you want to join them, you’re free to, but you probably won’t enjoy it any more than you do here.”

“Actually, Ray, that’s what I’ve come to talk to you about,” she didn’t look too pleased to be making any requests, but I could already tell what was coming. Rather than speak it into existence, however, she turned her attention toward Sister Cecilia, who happened to have been wandering around.

“First, who is that?” She pointed her thumb back.

“Some nun. I don’t pay her much mind.”

She squinted her eyes, her face turned to a scowl, then she put two fingers in her mouth and whistled.

“Hey girlie! Nunny!”

Sister Cecilia turned around, knowing that she had been addressed, and walked up to us.

“You’re a nun, huh?” Aurora scratched her chin.

“That’s correct,” Sister Cecilia wrote down and held up a sheet of paper to Aurora.

“I had someone in my crew who used to be a nun. What kind of nun are you? My crewmate was Buddhist. What about you?”

“Catholic,” she flipped one of the sheets. I take it she’s been asked that before.

“One of those, huh? So what kind of vows have you taken? Simple? Solemn?”

“Why does any of this matter?” I asked.

Aurora held her hand up to my face.

“I’m just asking questions. Don’t read into it. So, what is it?”

“I’ve taken a vow of silence,” she flipped to another page. Already written.

“What would that fall under? Solemn?”

“Nun of your business,” she wrote down and showed Aurora. That only made Aurora stare with greater intent.

“Is that so?” Aurora seethed.

“Won’t you just tell me what you came here to tell me?” My annoyance couldn’t be held back any further.

“Yes, but this is important too. Why don’t you know everyone here?” Her vitriol was now directed back toward me.

“Why do I need to?”

“It’s about trust, Ray. How can you trust anyone you don’t know? Any one of these people could double cross you. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

No. It doesn’t.

“I think it would be idiotic for anyone to do that, seeing as they’d be stuck in the same predicament I am in.”

She must not have liked that answer as she lifted me up by the collar and dragged me up against a nearby wall, her other elbow against my neck.

“You know something? I make it a habit to know everyone in my crew. I’ve dealt with situations like this before: us stuck inside, rationing just to get by. I keep telling myself I’ve been through worse, and maybe I haven’t. Maybe this is the worst it’s been. But at least I’m struggling with others, at least we’re all still fighting, because lemme tell ya, I don’t want to be in this mess forever. What about you?”

Of course I don’t.

I said nothing, however.

She let go and I just about dropped to the floor. I knew I could have held up my own, fought back, but I didn’t.

“You’re not a leader. If you wanted to be one, you’d accept help from others. You’d put your trust into others. Not blind, but because you know who they are.”

“What do you think I’m doing?” I wheezed out.

“You’re being passive. Do you think that’s an honorable trait? Just letting everyone do what they want while you isolate yourself. Is that helping anyone?”

“Why do I have to get the lecture from you? You’re a ridiculous person most of the time.”

“And so are you. The difference is that I don’t have a magical weapon or any of that bullshit to help me and my crew out. We’re holding on by our pride alone.”

“That woman’s right!” Yelled that same guy who raised a stink when she walked in. “You do nothing while you tell us to stay inside. Why do we listen to you? You’re probably downplaying this whole thing right now!” He got up and in a huff, reached for the door.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” I growled at him.

“Or what?”

“Leave it, Ray. If he wants to die, let him.”

“I bet I won’t! I bet you’re all just making shit up!” He continued to throw a fit, and as he was about to pull open the door, I darted for it and grabbed the back of his collar.

“You’re not leaving,” I ordered.

He thrashed about and then elbowed me in my stomach. As I reeled back, he turned and his fist flew into my face and all of the color around the room vibrated, faded, until black. I fell to the floor, my glasses shattered.

“I don’t know about any of you, but I’m leaving!” The man announced in a huff and jerked the door open, then ran off.

It was more than a simple injury this time; a few seconds passed, followed by a minute or two, and then echoes of screams could be heard in the distance, sounds of blades swinging every which way.

I pulled myself up.

“I’ll have to find his body and bury him later…” I muttered under my breath. Everyone looked out, and although they could see nothing, I heard collective gasps.

“You think I’m joking?” I raised my voice and looked around at everyone. I groaned my eye that got hit turned swollen. “Maybe some of us get lucky, it’s a few cuts. But that is also likely to happen. From the inside it may look like nothing, not a big deal. But it’s either be stuck in here or risk serious injuries, even death, just for the crime of walking outside. Do you think I like that either? Do you think I want to be stuck with any of you good-for-nothings? I don’t.”

My head swayed. I definitely needed some ice, or something, but I wasn’t finished.

“Maybe to you guys it looks like I do nothing. Even if that’s true, then that still puts me in the same situation as all of you. I’m just another good-for-nothing, myself. Not everyone has the strength to help out, and I don’t ask anyone to. I’m still going to take anyone in, they’ll still be fed, and I’ll tend to anyone’s wounds that I can, but if you value your lives, then you would stay inside.”

I was beginning to get a headache. I needed to get away. Astraea, for her part, started to clap.

“I didn’t understand any of that, but it sounded good!” She commented. Wendy put her hand on Astraea’s shoulder and I heard her say, “this isn’t the right time.”

As I began to walk away, Aurora put her hand on my shoulder.

“That’s what I came to tell you about: I want our crew to join you guys in here.”

I turned to her.

“Really? There’s already so little room as it is.”

“Yeah. I know. And a few members of my crew have died. Some of them we’ve had to bury twice.”

“What?”

“Yeah. The first time is hard enough, but the second time, when you have to put them down yourself, that just seems cruel. I’m not saying it’s a zombie situation, because even then, they’ve got some kind of life in them,” Aurora shook her head, “I had to bury Russell. We woke up one day, unable to find Russell until I looked outside, and there he was, on his back, torn apart. We suffered the injuries and buried him. There was also Chet, and Morgan.”

“My condolences,” I replied.

“Do you know what this tells me? This thing, whatever it is, doesn’t care if you’re indoors. It just can’t enter your place in particular. We’ll do whatever we need to. I just don’t want to suffer any more losses.”

I sighed.

“Very well. But understand that things aren’t as lax as I make it out to be. There are scheduled shower times. Scheduled eating times. You may not have much of a choice as to where you sleep, and it may not be comfortable.”

“We’re used to not sleeping comfortably.”

After that was settled, I went to the kitchen, grabbed a towel and a few blocks of ice, and pressed it against my face.

II

It was a few days later when I came back from burying the man who ventured out. He was more or less a mangled mess, chopped up, no delicacy to it whatsoever. While I was burying him, I received some scratches of my own. The sleeves of my suit were all torn up, yet I pressed on, digging up dirt, digging out until there was enough space. Once I laid his body in, I shoveled the dirt back over.

“For the record, I don’t hate you. You were an idiot, yes, but I don’t blame you, either.” I wanted to say more but winced as some invisible force cut into my side.

I gasped out and coughed on the suffocating air.

I better go. Shame I had to cut it short, but I shouldn’t have been performing any eulogies in a danger zone, anyway. Now, I better hurry or I’ll join his same fate.

By the time I returned to the diner, I was a bloody mess. But still alive somehow. If that meant anything. Sunny was seated nearby and gasped.

“Where have you been?” She asked.

“Mind your own business,” I groaned.

“I thought you said none of us were to go outside! You know how bad it is out there!”

“Damn it!” I snapped. “Of course I know how bad it is. I get myself hurt just so I can bury someone. It’s not the first time I’ve had to do that, either.”

“I never knew that. You never told me.”

“Why would I have? If I’m hurting, that’s on me.”

“It’s not just you. Whether you like it or not, we’re all hurting. You’re not alone.”

I huffed and shambled on past.

“And therein lies the problem,” I replied.

“You’ve grown cold!” She called after me.

“I’m this way because I have to. This situation hasn’t gotten any better.”

“But I have to have hope that it will,” her voice warmed up, and I couldn’t see why.

I just continued to walk into the back.

“You’re being a real asshole, you know that?” She yelled after me. “Come on, Sister Cecilia! Back me up here!”

Huh. That nun must be sitting across from her. No concern of mine.

I went into the back and knocked on the bathroom door in the hallway. No one answered. Usually that place was under constant occupation. I went to the sink and splashed some water on my face. I closed my eyes and refused to look at myself in the mirror. It was bad enough that my vision had become so terrible after my glasses broke. They were such an expensive pair, too.

From behind the mirror, I grabbed a bottle of rubbing alcohol and poured it on my wounds. When the inevitable sting came, I bit down on my lips. It would pass.

I sat down at my desk and pulled out a cigarette from the drawer underneath.

If Sunny knew I was smoking...well, Sunny and I seldom speak these days.

I flicked my lighter and took a puff.

Out of the corner of my eye, the shape of Astraea began to take hold. I just about jumped from my seat.

“What are you doing back here?” I asked.

“No one’s ordering right now and Tigershark said I could take a break,” she explained.

“I see. Go on and take a seat, then. I’ve been meaning to have a talk with you.”

She sat as instructed.

I inhaled another puff, then blew out.

“I’ll cut to the chase: you’re the cosmic entity, aren’t you?”

“Ah,” she smiled, “so that’s what you’ve been meaning to ask. The answer may surprise you, as I am human.”

I shook my head.

“You don’t need to hide anything from me. Who are you possessing?”

She tilted her head from one end to the other.

“I don’t possess anyone. I possess a Nintendo Switch and a Sothis plushie.”

I really wasn’t approaching this well.

“Look, it’s fine if you are. It’s not fine, because if you are, then you’re responsible for the misery of many lives. But it’s fine, because if you are, there’s nothing I can do about it. Apparently your kind can’t be harmed.”

“Ah! But I can. If you want, you can punch me. I’ve seen other humans get hurt, so I know I can get hurt too. Amen,” she continued her usual mannerisms. It could have just been her form, but I couldn’t imagine myself punching a child. Then, she added, “also I wouldn’t want to cause misery for others. I don’t find misery to be very interesting.”

Ah. So that’s what it is.

“It was either you or Sister Cecilia. Those were my suspects.”

“Suspect of what?”

“Of being the entity among us.”

“Amog...us?”

She needs to work on her enunciation.

“I suppose when I think about it, Sister Cecilia, while mysterious, isn’t as unusual as you, so I figured it would have to be you.”

“Why would it have to be either of us?”

“Because both of you showed up here unharmed.”

“Wendy did too,” Astraea pointed out.

“Yes, well, her weapon apparently wards off the threat outside. As for you and Sister Cecilia...”

“Well, I know it’s not Sister Cecilia, because she has a mouth and humans have mouths!” She answered, all gleeful, too. Then, she put her hands over her mouth, “I wasn’t supposed to reveal that!”

“You have a mouth as well,” I pointed out.

“Yes. Because I am human.”

“Anyway, I don’t think that was much of a secret. Everyone has a mouth. Most animals, too.”

“Then why would she hide it?”

I shrugged.

“Beats me. Maybe there’s something she’s hiding on her face. But I didn’t once think she didn’t have one. Anyway, it doesn’t make much of a difference to me. I’ve got bigger things on my mind.”

“Like what?”

“Like what I’m going to do. Our food supply is starting to run low. Even if we combine with Aurora’s, we won’t hold out for much longer.”

“Oh!” Astraea shot her hand up. “I know what you should do.”

“What?”

“Apologize to Sunny.”

Even you would think so, huh?

“Yeah, you’re right. It wouldn’t really change the situation, but I still love her and she didn’t deserve that. It’s just...her and Sister Cecilia both have said that I’m not alone, but it’s like they don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“I would rather be alone. Because then nobody else would get hurt. If everyone else could just stay away, I would be the only one that would have to endure this.”

“Mm...and you’re sure they don’t understand that?”

I took another hit. Maybe they did. It just didn’t make much sense to me why they would insist that, then.

“It sure seems like they don’t,” I replied.

“I don’t know, it sounds simple enough to me. If you’re the only one getting hurt, then others wouldn’t be. Still, I don’t know why others wouldn’t be. Humans are capable of being hurt.”

“So why do you think Sunny would insist to me that I’m not alone, like I don’t already know that?”

“Hmm...because it’s true? There’s other people around.”

I wasn’t sure why I thought I could take advice from her. Someone I was convinced was some all-powerful space alien.

“I wonder if things will work between us…” I leaned back. “You know, before Sunny, I only dated men. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go back to seeing men.”

“Don’t you see men all the time, and women, and children, and dogs and cats?”

This child really is tiresome.

“That’s not really...not like vision, like, relationships. Like, romance. Love. Things like that.”

“Oh. Those kinds of things.”

“Yeah. You know, I used to have a curious mind like yourself. I used to wonder about all these little things and chase rumors. Now, it’s like I have none of that left in me.”

“That’s not true. You said you wonder about Sunny and wonder about men. Anyway, I’m going to go now. It’s almost time.”

“Time for what?” I was a little struck.

“There’s an event in Animal Crossing. That’s what Tigershark said the game is called.”

She walked off after that and into her room. Well, the room Tigershark slept in. It still felt weird thinking that she slept there. Maybe I still had some hope that all of this would be temporary.

I put out the cigarette and tossed the butt into the nearest trash can. I tossed a mint into my mouth and chewed down.

I guess I’ll take the kid’s advice, was a thought I never imagined I would have.

Still, I caught Sunny, still seated, and seated alone. I couldn’t really see Sister Cecilia anymore, either, but the place was so crowded that she could have been anywhere.

“Is this seat taken?” I asked. She seemed surprise, shivered in place, but then looked up and smiled.

“It isn’t.”

I sat across from her. It was easier to see her eye to eye that way.

“How are you doing?” I initiated.

“Oh, you know,” she smiled and moved her head about, all sing-songy. “It’s difficult, both dealing with such an adjustment, and watching you become like this. But I remain hopeful that it won’t last forever.”

“How do you remain hopeful? I’d like to believe that this will come to an end, but I don’t see any end in sight.”

“I never said it was easy.”

“So how?”

“Because I have to. If I have nothing else, I still have that.”

“So it’s like that, huh?” I nodded.

“You know, I went outside the other day,” she began to mention.

“What? Why would you do that?” I protested, but she put her index finger up to my mouth.

“I’m not the type to let a little bit of danger stop me.”

“That is one of the reasons I love you,” I couldn’t help but say.

“You do realize that getting into danger means risking being hurt, right?”

I kept my mouth shut. She chuckled.

“I went up to our mailbox. It’s still standing, intact and unharmed. Of course, there’s been no mail delivery, but that doesn’t matter much to me.”

“So why did you do it?” I asked.

“I wrote a love letter with no address. I wonder what those words will mean when the letter is returned to sender. It’s for that reason that I have hope. Because I want to know what kind of people we’ll be once you get a chance to read it.”

I spat out. Caught off guard, I couldn’t help but let out a little laugh. Even if my voice still sounded dry, void of passion, she managed that much.

“Why couldn’t you have just told me the stuff you wrote in person? Why do something so ridiculous?”

She laughed right back.

“It got a reaction out of you, didn’t it?”

“That it did,” I smiled. It felt unnatural, yet it wasn’t a conscious decision, either. “You know, when you would tell me that I wasn’t alone, I thought you were being ridiculous, because when the fog began, I didn’t want you to come back. I didn’t want any of these people here, I just wanted to take it all on and protect everyone else.”

She nodded.

“I could tell. It was stupid of you, but it’s not the first time you’ve done such a thing.”

“What? How’s it stupid? I would be protecting you.”

She grabbed a napkin from the napkin holder against the wall, folded it up, and hit my hand with it. It didn’t hurt at all.

“It was stupid. You don’t think I wouldn’t be hurt if you were the only one? I’d share that pain with you. In a heartbeat.”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

“Nor should you have to keep it to yourself.”

I gazed down at the table.

“Maybe you’re right,” I muttered.

“Louder for the people in the back,” she cupped her ear.

I looked up.

“I’m sorry,” I said, since I couldn’t find any other words. “Everyone’s been trying to tell me, but I’ve just been so focused on keeping everyone alive, and I couldn’t even manage that.”

“But you’ve still managed a great deal, and you wouldn’t have managed nearly as much if you didn’t have help.”

“Yeah. You’ve got that right…” I looked around. Wendy was at the other end of the dining hall, chatting with the sailor. I could tell that sailor guy wasn’t a real sailor, but I didn’t bother to consider who else they could have been.

“Hey. Do you think that there could be someone here who isn’t who they appear?” I turned back to Sunny. Her eyes shimmered, so radiant to the point that I had to avert my gaze, lest I go blind.

“Maybe. Wouldn’t it be fun to think about?”

I shuddered.

“I’m not sure if fun is the right word…”

She laughed.

“Maybe you’re right this time,” her hand waved over her mouth, then she leaned in, her eyes fluttered, “you know, there would be times when I was on my adventures and I would wonder if you missed me. I know, carefree me, wondering such things. It was just how you would be so casual, and wave it off, it was like you didn’t mind me being gone.”

Maybe that was true in a sense.

“I do like my alone time, but yes. Always.”

“Really?”

“But that’s why I was okay with it, because whenever you returned, it was like I had found a treasure. So while I always awaited your return, I was at ease at the same time, because I knew wherever you were, you were smiling.”

“What about here? Right now?”

I pressed my palm to my head. I felt about ready to weep.

“I want to enjoy our time together. I just wish things were simpler. Remember when we used to take on requests? Now everything’s so complicated. I mean, there’s this fog, our food’s running low, and hell, even if by some miracle, this all gets solved or goes away, what then? I wish we could go back to how things were.”

“You can’t. Those times are gone. But they were fun while they lasted, right?”

I smiled and nodded.

“Yeah.”

“There’s gotta be some beauty in that. Yes, maybe it’s gone, and we can’t get those times back, but who’s to say something new won’t come from it, something similar?”

“You’re right,” I placed my hand over hers, “so, here’s to the unfamiliar?”

“To love,” she nodded, “and whatever form it may take.”

She leaned in and I met her halfway. Our lips were about to meet as well, the distance could have been measured with a microscope, but before they could join each other –

“Ugh, get a room you two!” Shouted a disgusted and squeaky voice.

We opened our eyes and looked around. That voice, it must have reminded us both of the same person.

“Did you hear that?” Sunny asked.

“No way…” I uttered.

“It sounded so familiar, don’t you think?”

We let go of each other and looked around. At first, nothing stood out, but then I saw someone with a black hoodie tied around her waist and wearing black slacks. Covering her face was a book, upside down which the title read ‘How to Sneak Into Diners For Dummies’.

“You know, I spent over a year away, and do you know what I learned?” She paced about and drew near us.

“Demetria?” I couldn’t help but ask. In response, she set down the book and that’s when I noticed her hair, shoulder length and wavy, dark green. She pointed at Sunny and I and shouted:

“I learned that none of us are smart!”

Sunny and I looked at each other, then back at her, and laughed. I couldn’t even be mad, as much as I didn’t want her to be in such a mess with us.

“That’s your big epiphany?” I asked.

“Yes,” she tossed the book behind her. “I had a whole hero’s journey while I was away. I went and got my degree which means I could be a marine biologist, but then I realized: degrees meant shit. I’m most likely to work at a coffee shop with such a degree, so I figured, you know what? If that’s the case, why don’t I just come back here?”

“Is that really your motivation?” I couldn’t say that I disagreed with such an assessment, but it seemed a little...out there.

“Not really. I also heard about what’s been going on. I won’t reveal my sources, but I can say that I know how to deal with it.”

“You do?” I didn’t believe such a thing, but who knows? I’ve been surprised already.

“That’s right!” She put her hands over her hips and smiled all proud.

“Demetria!” Tigershark just about tackled her as she ran and dived in for a hug.

“Whoa, there,” Demetria turned around. “Careful, you won’t believe how many knives I’ve got in my pockets.”

“You have knives in your pocket?!” Tigershark exclaimed.

“Yeah,” Demetria dug into her pockets and pulled out a couple of throwing knives. “This one’s named Hilda, this one’s Marianne.”

She then pulled out another, a black and gold switchblade knife.

“This one’s called Death Knight,” she held out. Tigershark jumped back.

“Why such a scary name?”

“What? Don’t like it? How about Mercedes, then?”

That switchblade knife, it’s just like...ah, I see. So that’s how she got in. I’m impressed.

“I missed you!” Tigershark cried into Demetria’s hooded sweatshirt around her waist.

Now that I think of it, that black hoodie…

“Aw, I missed you too. You know I couldn’t keep myself away for too long. You’re like family to me.”

“Yay! Speaking of family, while you were gone, I got another sister! Her name is Cecilia! I’ll find her and you guys can meet each other!”

“Uh, sure. Good luck with that, kiddo,” she snickered.

Tigershark ran off. That poor kid.

“So what made you reveal yourself now of all times?” I had to ask.

“Eh. It seemed you were starting to get back to better spirits, and to be honest, I was tired of keeping quiet for months on end.”

“Still, I’ve seen better days…” my right eye was still swollen.

“And you’ll see better days again,” she sounded so sure of that.

Tigershark ran back over, looking distraught.

“I can’t find Sister Cecilia anywhere!” She pouted.

Demetria whistled, or at least, it was an attempt at a whistle.

“I’m sure she’ll turn up. Let’s not worry about that right now,” she told Tigershark.

“Aw, but –”

The lights went out before the kid could finish her sentence. Soon we were met with pitch darkness, then gasps emitted from the crowds in their seats.

“I see it’s begun,” Demetria muttered.

Others’ voices flooded the room:

“What’s going on?” “Will we be OK?”

Were just a couple of things I heard among the commotion.

“Quiet everyone!” I raised my voice to a shout. “We’re going to go downstairs and check the breaker!” I couldn’t see her in the dark, but… “Wendy, Aurora! Make sure to protect everyone while we go down, OK?”

“Aye-aye, boss,” I heard from Aurora.

“No need to tell me,” was Wendy.

“I’m, uh, going to use the restroom,” chimed in Captain Acab.

“...OK? You’ve been here how long?” I didn’t understand the need to be told that.

“I swear, that sailor guy’s been giving off weird vibes ever since I’ve been here,” Demetria commented.

“Whatever! Let’s leave Captain Crunch to do his business!” Sunny’s cheer was unparalleled.

The four of us felt our way around to the kitchen, then crawled down on the floor until I found the hatch.

“Okay, down the hatch. Watch your step, guys,” I held open the hatch and the first to climb the stairs down was Sunny, followed by Tigershark, then Demetria.

“Why do you have your breaker underground, anyway?” She criticized on the way down.

“It was actually my idea!” Sunny answered. “I thought it would be neat!”

Once down, it was just a matter of feeling around on the wall until...aha.

I opened the door to the breaker box and flicked a flame on my lighter to help me see.

“Yep. Central lighting was tripped,” I noticed. I flicked the switch back and within seconds, everything lit up around us. All lights were blinding and it took several seconds of blinking before mine adjusted. Even then, my vision was blurred. How could it not have been?

Once I adjusted to the light, the shapes of the giant kegs of ale surrounded us.

“You know, I’ve never actually been down here before,” Demetria noted as she looked around. “It’s a little cold down here, actually,” she began to shiver, and so put her hoodie back on. It really did look more like a cloak than anything.

“Well, we got the lights back on, let’s head up,” I motioned for them.

“I just realized something,” Demetria walked forward instead, “it’s cold down here.”

“Yeah?” I wasn’t quite sure what the deal was, but then…

Wait. I get it.

“We can get everyone else down here and smuggle them out through the airport. There’s a tunnel down here and –” I began to formulate my plan, but Demetria stopped me.

“No. I’m sure the enemy knows about this path as well. I say we press on and end this, once and for all.”

“How can you be so sure?” I asked her.

“Because I’ve faced our enemy before. I’m willing to be this is no mere oversight. Hell, if we keep down this path, we’ll probably be in for a fight.”

Great. I was unequipped and in bad shape. I wished I had time to prepare.

“How fitting, too...a fight in a basement…” She scoffed.

It felt weird having her lead, yet she was so sure about moving forward. As we took a few steps, I stopped her.

“Wait.”

“What?” She turned back, a look of disappointment upon her face.

“Listen.”

There was a creaking sound from nearby, something like screeching metal. It must have come from the safe beside the tunnel.  Then footsteps.

“Be on your guard,” I advised everyone.

“Tigershark, get behind me,” Sunny added.

She nodded and we stood in place until the figure emerged into view from behind the last keg at the far end of the hall: someone tall, black form fitting clothes, and a with short, blue hair.

“Remora!” Tigershark cheered, but Demetria held her arm out.

“Not quite,” Demetria warned.

Whoever she was, she smiled and began to walk up to us, then waved.

“Hello. Nice to meet you all, I’m Rhea Flection.”

My heart thumped against my chest. There was no way. Of course not. It was all wrong. Even as her voice matched Remora’s, it still made little sense.

“Yes. Nice to meet you, as well,” I greeted her, or whoever she was. “But I heard you died.”

“That’s right. I faked my death and have been hiding out here, in your safe.”

Of course you have. Oooof course.

“Do you know what’s been going on?”

“Nope!” She grinned. “But I’m sure we can all figure it out together! Follow me!” She began to walk toward the tunnel and I looked over to everyone else. Sunny and Demetria alike nodded, and it was a sort of telepathic communication of “let’s follow for now.”

We began to walk toward her and Demetria shifted beside me.

“Remember, Ray: some people aren’t who they say they are,” she whispered.

“I know, but what other choice do we have at the moment?” I asked in turn.

Demetria scoffed, then let out a loud, audible groan.

‘Rhea’ turned around and beamed.

“Hm? Did you guys say something?”

“Yeah, actually,” Demetria spoke up. “I’ve got a question for you that only the real Rhea would know the answer to.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“What color panties am I wearing?” She asked, deadpan, despite the crude question.

“Demetria! You can’t just ask someone that!” Tigershark protested.

“Easy! Green!” The figure who was supposed to be ‘Rhea’ answered.

“Ah, that puts my mind at ease,” Demetria replied. “Thank you.”

“No pro –”

Demetria in one swift motion reached into her pocket and flung a knife the stranger’s way; the knife landed square in the middle of her forehead and blood began to trickle down.

“Demetria! You just killed her!” Tigershark flailed her arms about and began to panic.

“At this point it’s like beating a dead horse, isn’t it?” Demetria remarked, then turned back to the stranger. “The real Rhea would have answered something like, ‘how should I know?’ Or ‘why would you ask me that?’ I would have also accepted, ‘no clue. I don’t go looking at people’s underwear.’”

“That’s just common sense!” Tigershark scolded, still flailing her arms about.

“Yes, which is why I know you’re not who you say you are.”

Whoever, then, the stranger was, as blood ran down her face, she formed a crooked toothy grin which stretched her face wide.

“Clever,” the figure uttered in a low, guttural sound.

Demetria, meanwhile, slipped on a pair of fingerless gloves and brought her right arm forward, her palm spread out. Then she made a pulling motion and the knife in the figure’s forehead flew out and the hilt landed right back into Demetria’s palm.

“I had Hephaestus put magnets into my gloves. The blade of the knife is more dull, while the hilt is actually more metallic, and I’ve practiced with my aim.”

“Wow, magnets! How do they work?” Tigershark was astonished.

“Miracles, dear,” Sunny replied and pat Tigershark’s head.

Once the knife was pulled out, blood began to spray from the figure’s forehead, and then their head split in two, like a banana peel and hundreds of vines emerged and the flaps which made up the upper half of the creature’s body had rows of jagged teeth. The creature took a step forward and all of us stood back. Their arms changed into several thorny vines as well and spun in place in a circle.

“Any more bright ideas?” I turned to Demetria as we all continued to back away.

“In fact, I do. Lemme see your lighter.”

“Why?”

“I’m thinking I can throw one of my knives at one of the kegs, then when alcohol pours down on the floor, I take your lighter, strike a flame, then toss it into the alcohol.”

“No, no way,” I shook my head with a violent force. “You’d burn the whole restaurant down!”

“Damn it, Mr. Krabs! Is this restaurant more important to you than our lives?”

Are you really comparing me to a crab?

“You don’t get it! If the restaurant burns down, we’ll all go down with it. I can’t take that risk.”

“Oh. Yeah. I didn’t consider that.”

“Anyone else? Any ideas that do not involve arson?”

The three ladies shook their heads and I was a little disappointed.

As whatever it was that impersonated Rhea drew closer, I really began to think that the end might be upon us all. That was, until the crackle of a rifle sounded and I watched as a bullet flew into the creature and the creature’s parts exploded onto the floor.

I looked from the direction of the fire to see Remora, also with blue hair in much the same fashion, and wearing a sailor’s uniform crouched down in a corner of a hole in the upper wall.

So now they’re both here.

She swooped down and split her rifle into two smaller guns.

“So, you’re Rhea, huh? You have got to tell me how you do that thing with your face,” teased the coy voice of Remora, something I wasn’t used to from her.

Nearby, the scattered pieces of the creature’s form slithered around and piled up against each other until it reformed, back into the shape of a person.

“And now you’re here too,” the impostor Rhea creature snarled.

“That’s right,” Remora smiled a sinister smile as well. “John. Jacob. Jingleheimer. Schmidt.”

She did a flip in the air and blasted away with the two guns, then landed and took cover between the giant keg barrels.

“She always has to show me up,” Demetria scoffed. “I could do that too, if I wanted to.”

“By the way,” Remora turned to us and winked, “they’re purple, right?”

“That question wasn’t for you!” Demetria shouted.

“OK. But did I guess right or nah?”

“That’s not the point!”

“I’m pretty sure they’re purple.”

“I’m wearing boxer shorts!” Demetria was fuming in protest.

Remora whistled, then replied, “didn’t need to know that, but OK.”

Her face then turned more serious, much more like the Remora I was familiar with.

“Sorry to cut this reunion short, but you guys should go on ahead. I’ll take care of this fashion disaster.”

We all nodded, then ran on ahead. As much as I wished the five of us could go on together, I at least had confidence that Remora could handle such a fight on her own. Once into the tunnels, the light began to grow dimmer and dimmer, but I just hoped that we could all find a light at the other end of this tunnel.

#ray #ray sunshine #despair #arctic #drama #action #astraea #tigershark #sunny #diner #boxer shorts #among us

[stupid-stew]

character names keep me alive, toh is my lifeblood.

i am literally obsessed and this show really does provide (i still have to add more smh my head dana terrace why do you do this to me jk i love it so much please never stop) COPY AND PASTED FROM DOC UNDER BREAK

NAMES INCLUDED:

FIRST NAME

LILITH

EDA

LUZ

KING

WILLOW

GUS

ASSORTED BLIGHTS

LAST NAME

BLIGHT

CLAWTHORNE

NOCEDA

PORTER

PARK

BUMP

MISCELLANEOUS

BELOS

HIERONYMUS AND BOSCHA

ADEGAST

HOOTY

OWLBERT

KIKIMORA

GWENDOLYN

RAYNE

NOTE EVERYTHING BEFORE GWENDOLYN AS OF 6/24/21 WRITTEN WITHOUT SEASON 2 KNOWLEDGE, TO BE REVISED, REVISIONS IN BOLD!

Hello and welcome to the ramblings of a mad man. Before we get into it I think you should note that I do write like I talk because I think like a talk and I write how I think, so if you are confused as to why it sounds like i’m not making sense its because I'm not making sense also my capitalization and punctuation suck so sorry about that but we don’t have time for technicalities in this house. TO ADVENTURE!

FIRST NAME

LILITH

EDA

LUZ

KING

WILLOW

GUS

ASSORTED BLIGHTS

LAST NAME

BLIGHT

CLAWTHORNE

NOCEDA

PORTER

PARK

BUMP

MISCELLANEOUS

BELOS

HIERONYMUS AND BOSCHA

ADEGAST

HOOTY

OWLBERT

KIKIMORA

GWENDOLYN

RAYNE

GILBERT

FIRST NAME

LILITH

Ok so because I'm lilith’s bitch we are gonna start with her because her name is so cool and I love her and we should be besties Lilith hmu. Anyways as most people know Lilith is a pre existing mythological character which makes this very much good because that means it’s all outlined. Most people know her as a demonic figure, which I very much dig but similar to our lovely queen of curses out here, that's not all she is. There isn’t going to be a chronological explanation of similarities and conclusions, cope. The basic gist is that Lilith was this chick with fiery red hair (this is important iykyk) who refused to be beneath or below adam, more specifically to subjugate to him, funny because of the tapestry with belos what says subjugation on it, probably a coincidence but I do not believe in coincidence right now. Anyways basically she runs off and becomes this chick who like snatches children and will make them sick if they don’t have an amulet with the names Senoy, Sansenoy, or Semangelof on them, thats a different story but what I find interesting is this one passage,

“(12) Her nobles shall be no more, nor shall kings be proclaimed there; all her princes are gone. (13) Her castles shall be overgrown with thorns, her fortresses with thistles and briers. She shall become an abode for jackals and a haunt for ostriches. (14) Wildcats shall meet with desert beasts, satyrs shall call to one another; There shall the Lilith repose, and find for herself a place to rest. (15) There the hoot owl shall nest and lay eggs, hatch them out and gather them in her shadow; There shall the kites assemble, none shall be missing its mate. (16) Look in the book of the LORD and read: No one of these shall be lacking, For the mouth of the LORD has ordered it, and His spirit shall gather them there. (17) It is He who casts the lot for them, and with His hands He marks off their shares of her; They shall possess her forever, and dwell there from generation to generation.”

And there are separate part of this that I find relevant, especially the description of the location, i’m not all that familiar with symbolism of animals in religious texts, so i’m gonna take it at face value and say that this is more or less a description that could be given to the physical owl house itself, sort of a place for people who don’t fit in, its a little messy and I guess one could say overgrown, but it’s a place for anyone, a place to rest now hopefully for Lilith away from the coven, there shall the Lilith repose. On top of that we see the “the hoot owl…” and you’re probably thinking what that so crazy wacko because like why are they referring to Lilith as the hoot owl isn't Eda the owl lady, yes she is. That’s why the actual meanings of lilith’s name that come from her mythological depiction as a demon lady are so important. We have night monster, night owl, night spectre, vampires, night hag, night creature, nightjar (which is another kind of bird), and night bird, all of these seem to fit lilith’s dark aesthetic very nicely which is very good for her, but there are two other ones, hot owl and screech owl, which draw her closer to Edaand away from the coven and her depiction in the mid-later episodes of the show as a monster for cursing eda, but also the name night monster could come into play if while sharing the curse Lilith acquired some of its traits, similar to Ed aas the owl beast. Ultimately, we have this little red head girl who eventually fights back against the men who are attempting to get her to be under them, for the character that is belos, for the other Lilith that is adam, god, and his angels, and now hopefully both of them will find solace and repose among the owls in a place they never thought they’d belong. All this talk of owls and god brings us into the other clawthorne baddie:

Lilith did find her repose! I love her staying in the owl house, get it queen oh yuh.

EDA

For this I'm going to use her full name edalyn, because you know like that’s just how it be it is her name. There isn’t a wiki page for her name like there is for Lilith which makes this a little bit harder but the general consensus seems to be that it means something along the lines of “gift of god”, which I find very interesting. If you are going to name a child gift of god i’m assuming that you are referring to the child themselves, but I don’t think that really applies to eda. I’m not religious, but its my impression that someone who lies, cheats, pranks, and steals their way to the top and isn’t exactly the most responsible witch on the isles and might not be the best gift god could give. I do really love Eda though, her character flaws are still a part of her character, but I think this refers to her powers. Eda considers herself to be the boiling isles gift to magic, which I mean like, have you seen the woman. In agony of a witch we see her at what probably 30% of her power with how much the curse was already tolling on her and how much magic she was probably using to fight it off, and like goddamn. She was almost beating lilith, definitely beating the shit out of her, but she was almost defeating Lilith who was at her full power, and that is just a fraction of what she used to be able to do. Her powers were a gift of god, and I think that the loss of them will greatly affect her. She’s already admitted that she doesn’t know how to do much without her magic, and I think going straight from the second most powerful witch on this isles to having no power at all is going to be incredibly taxing on her, physically and mentally.

Luckily for her the name edalyn also means patience, another thing about her name is that it not only means gift of god, but also similar things like gifted by the gods or even goddess, and this draws a connection to Lilith who is named after a demonic figure, casted out for having defied god, they are quite literally polar opposites on the name spectrum, and we see that a lot in the show, they are completely different people, I mean have you looked at them they don’t even look related, but the funnier thing is that their personalities do the same thing. You’d expect Edain her youth to be a gift from the devil, just ask principal bump, and Lilith seemed to be a goody two shoes who worked her ass off, their names could be switched based off their characters alone.

A random baby name site I found said that :

“Persons with the name edalyn are usually highly flexible and well equipped to making and accepting change throughout their life. They always seek excitement and are sometimes a bit of a risk taker. They are imaginative, and often, through their unconventional way of thinking, are naturally able to solve complex problems with ease. They are quick thinkers and observers who are clever, analytical and versatile”

Which I mean like very much applies to eda, she takes change like a champ, either genuinely or by pretending she’s ok with everything, and is always seeking excitement. Like literally all of the time. Always. I think she takes felonies as a compliment, and one of the biggest changes in her life that she genuinely was able to adapt to and appreciate was

OH MY GOD HER LEARNING THE NEW GLYPHS WAS SO CUUUUTTTEEE, I love her being able to adapt, she really is doing well. As the beginning of separate tides shows, she’s working around it, and is doing a damn good job, living up to her name.

LUZ

Ok I think at this point everyone knows that at this point the name Luz means light, and if you didn't, oopsies now you do. The character Luz was named and designed after a real life person the miss dana terrace knew at the time she was starting to really think about the show, Luz ’s personalty comes more from dana herself and we love that, but the character has really started to grow into her name. This is made most obvious when the first spell Luz learns is the light glyph, not only coming into her own as a witch, but also starting to live up to her name, which along with light also has to do with “Our Lady of Light”, which is the virgin mary, fitting her right in with the other biblical names we got going on here. I really want to stress that I know next to zero about religion, and all of the connections I am making come from wikipedia, so bare with me here. But most of the time mary seems to be this pure, saint like figure, which I think is what a lot of people see Luz as, especially on the isles. I’m going to flat out say that this is in no way meant to pass off Luz as simple minded, pure, or oblivious, because we have seen what that girl is willing to do, she faced death and poked him in the with an ice cicle. In terms of life on the isles, however, she is more or less pure and sheltered, she’s completely new to the world she’s in, but she does quickly adapt, and shows more of her strong side, and remains a good person throughout all of it, taking losses as they come, and not letting them remain losses at the same time.

Back to the whole light thing, we already touched on the whole literal bit of her and the light spell, but can you think of a better way to describe Luz ? She literally brings light everywhere she goes, even Eda admits that she’s changed things for the better, for everyone around her too. Willow got a new friend, probably the first friend she’s had in a long time, and even got to begin repairing her relationship with amity, and got placed in the plant track so she could do the things she loves, all because of Luz . Edagot to grow as a person and a mentor, and finally got someone willing to accept all her eda-ness, unconditionally, someone to really care about that really cares about her back, all because of Luz . Amity got a friend who cares about her, not just her family name and money, someone who supports her and will do anything for her because she is her friend, and a bit of self discovery along the way for amity, all because of Luz . Not a single person on the isles who has had more than 2 minutes of interaction with Luz hasn’t had their lives improved, even belos got his portal, and the thing is that even characters who people might not even consider changed have been, characters such as

Luz my beloved, she seems a little bit less of a light this season, and i do mean little. That’s totally fine though, it’s expected, i didn’t want her to just be this bright shining star after the events of the last two episodes of season 1, and appreciate her going and starting to take the fantasy of the isles with more than just a grain of salt. Obviously like in escaping expulsion, she’s still trying her best to make everything better and make friends with everyone, but there’s something a little different about it and i’m here for it tbh.

KING

The name king itself is obvious, he is royalty, the king of demoNS HIMSELF ASMODEUS hahahaha pulled a sneaky on you now accept my ideas as your own. I am on a mythological name kick, deal with it. The most important thing here is in the bible, asmodeus poses himself as a false god, which I know is something we have all considered with king, that he might be a full on liar, not be a king of anything and is just your ordinary street demon, it’s even come up in the show with him calling himself the king of artists and Luz asking him if he was just making it up at this point. It’s a good theory, I can see it, and this could be used as proof. There is also another legend that paints him as a good natured dude, who eventually banishes the king by literally throwing him, and then he loses his powers and is banished, but this is also the same legend where he marries Lilith and that is not something I am down for. There is another text in which he tells the king (the same one he threw in the other one) that his kingdom will one day be divided and the king does not believe him, and this is the same text where he admits to hating water and birds because they remind him of god. Lets think class, who has the god name and is related to birds here? King’s name by itself holds true to his character, who (regardless of if it is truthful or not) holds himself as if he is a king, and he isn't the only one with a name like that, there is also

WILLOW

Ok I know we all thought it, willow, the plant girl, how fiendishly clever. This also happens to be the only descriptor for her name I could find, which is totally fine because I think it’s a very cute name and willow is also very cute. This means we get to go into the symbolism of the willow tree wwwooooOOOOO aren’t you so very excited I know I am. Its kind of interesting, willow trees seem to match the character, understanding, warm, a safe space really, but most of all the ability to let go of pain and suffering, sometimes outright ignore it, and move on. Willow does always say out of sight out of mind does she not? She is willing to ignore, even excuse people bullying her, be it bosha or even amity, and the moment she got the chance her inner willow decided to try and literally burn the painful memories she had, willing to cause damage just to forget. Willow as a character is very willing to move on like nothing happened most of the time, key word most because another thing about willows is the ability to grow from the pain. Before understanding willow, we never really saw willow stand up for herself until she really had to, but hy the end of the episode she is willing to tell amity that she isn’t willing to fully forgive her, but she’s willing to grow and try. Heck, we see this over the entire first season, we see this little girl who can barely pull it together long enough to stand up for herself grow into this amazing character willing to publicly oppose the emperor and break into his castle for her friend, she tried to full out attack Lilith when 19 episodes earlier she wasn’t able to stand up to amity for bullying her. And I am in no way calling willow weak, she never was, she just needed to find the ability to show everyone that she’s strong, god I love willow so much, you wanna know who else loves willow?

GUS

Gus, my main man, love you but for this we are gonna have to use the full on augustus sorry babes. The name augustus means majestic, or venerable, which while I must say that the illusion of kiki doing the worm was probably one of the most majestic things I have ever seen, I’m going to focus on venerable a bit more here. Venerable is a big word, it means “accorded a great deal of respect, especially because of age, wisdom, or character.”, which for gus the age part might play a smaller part here, but he is good as what he does, Luz and willow both respect him, Eda Respects him, he’s this little dude who is younger than everyone and has to rely on his ability to succeed, not only with his power but with his personality. Gus seems to be confident in himself, communicating with everyone regardless of who they are or what power they hold, similarly to willow he was willing to do anything to help Luz , leading into the second description of venerable, “heroic in nature”. Now, you might be wondering, bestie where ever did you get that description, it totally wasn’t from a religious page okyesitwas but that's fine because being pronounced venerable guarantees a spot in heaven so get it bestie. Overall, the general meaning for augustus is that they are strong, respectable, and powerful, which takes us right into the

Gus, shawty, ily but please stop the obsession with death babes ur starting to scare me. I hope with the upcoming Gus content in TTLGR we will see more of him growing into his powers and such.

ASSORTED BLIGHTS

The blight first names bring me joy so I am putting amity last because I think its really funny, starting off with alador, the name alador evokes diplomacy, correctness, and confidence. We know zilch about alador, but if the vibes of the blight family have anything to say it’s definitely something along those lines. The name odalia means wealth, which I mean like have you seeeen blight manor? Also back at it again with the fact that it’s a variant of the name odilia, like the saint olilia which I don't have ties for you right now because again, we know nothing about her. Edric also means wealth, fortune, riches, powerful, you get the vibes, same thing with emira which means commander, or prince, princess, leader, or star. So you know like we have all these super powerful names happening, and then, oh boy and then we get to little miss perfect herself, amity blight. It means friendship, or harmony. If I was her I would be so mad at my parents like yall have these mad powerful names and I got stuck with friendship? Hand me the emancipation papers. You know what they say, friendship is the real magic (even if no longer taught in schools due to budget constraints). I hope that this leads more into season 2 with amity working on her friendships and ultimately her relationships in general, which we got a bit of already with her working on repairing her relationship with willow, and making the moves to cut off old toxic friendships and moving into more genuine ones with willow, Luz , and gus. I guess you could say that the only thing ALL the blights have in common with each other is their

They are rich assholes, alador is a little wacko, odalia is hot asf dana seriously what the hell man that was out of pocket. The only thing about alador that lives up to his name is his money, odalia seems more obsessed with image and money, and i too am obsessed with her image literally boy what the hell boy.

LAST NAME

BLIGHT

The word blight by itself means a plant disease which boy oh boy can you believe how nicely that fits into amity bullying willow because I sure can. Outside of just the plant bit it overall just means like something that damages another thing, and this works beautifully for each member of the family. The parents are damaging their children, the twins just causing general damage, and amity and her goddamn relationships, but fortunately that whole plant thing brings us into the next couple of last names

CLAWTHORNE

The last name clawthorne means “cold or exposed thorn tree” which had me kind of like what the heck so I went off and had some fun and got you some presents that I think are funny, so there was this guy right, his name was joseph clawthorne, and he created the term whiffenpoof, which is the name for a wildly fictitious animal, things like a jackalope, or even a griffin with spider breath, though I guess that would be the work of a

NOCEDA

Back again with the trees good lord, it means field of nut trees, so again I went into prominent people an found this guy named jorge noceda sanchez, he was a painter and some of his works are kinda baller actually it seems like something that would fit in on the isles, but also not all of the names have a deeper meanings, names like

PORTER

Ok I am like pretty sure this was just meant to be a play on the fact that gus’ dad’s name is perry and is a reporter, get it, perry porter, perry porter, reporter, but nonetheless I did some digging because why the heck not, it means doorkeeper, or gate keeper, someone who guards something like an important building, which honestly I think this would be a good last name for hooty if he ever gets one, but again not all of these are important names at the moment, or maybe they won't ever be at all, names like

PARK

At first I was kinda like l m a o willow park plant girl hahahahah plants in the park parks have trees willow is a tree but then I remembered that someone pointed out that park is a traditionally korean surname and then like a week later disney posted about it for aisian pacific american heritage month which kind of confirmed it, and I don’t know if the whole intention behind it was to establish willow as representation or not, but the surname park by itself means gourd and willow I am so sorry that is so unfortunate LMAOSIFN

BUMP

To be honest I was not expecting bump to have a last name that meant anything but it means swift walker and I think thats funny so you have to know it now

MISCELLANEOUS

BELOS

BIIIITCH LISTEN UPPPP there is a butt tone of mythology surrounding his name and its mostly a different form of it, belus, that is referenced, but same thing different shape. Most of his depiction is as a great king or ruler, in babylonian mythology being the equivalent of zeus of jupiter, which liiikkkkkeeeoajolnjojnkjakjavnjfvdfkjf but its fine everything is great its all ok most importantly, he is recognized as the god or ruler of war, and in that same mythology he lived in babylon, which “... was originally water, and called a sea. But Belus put an end to this, and assigned a district to each, and surrounded Babylon with a wall; and at the appointed time he disappeared.” and idk about you but the smell of him assigning a divide and disappearing smells sour like funky to me babes

HIERONYMUS AND BOSCHA

I am only putting this here because the fact that it’s totally a play on hieronymus bosch makes me cackle and you all have to know it thank you

ADEGAST

B-but brevyn he was only there for like one episode, yeah ok and? Radegast is the slavic god of hospitality, and there is no host like a host that pretends to take you on a mythical quest and then tries to eat you and your mentor and her deranged cat demon, ok? His name translates to “dear guest” or “welcomed guest” and I mean I think if my host tried to suck me into some fantasy would delusion i’d feel pretty welcomed

HOOTY

He is an owl

OWLBERT

He is also an owl

KIKIMORA

First and foremost, she is a little night gremlin who hates children and I think that really fits her, but she is also a little house demon, who is very difficult to get to leave, have we seen her outside the castle? Will she be a spy along with the mask next season? She also has a name that means nightmare or night demon, similar to a certain other night creature we might have heard of a while ago. She tried to strangle children and I love that for her,and she is described as a little old ugly messy haired lady and I feel like her current character has the personality of one so i’ll take it, but what really gets me is her villain origin story, which is that she "grows up with a magician in the mountains. From dawn to sunset the magician’s cat regales Kikimora with fantastic tales of ancient times and faraway places, as Kikimora rocks in a cradle made of crystal. It takes her seven years to reach maturity, by which time her head is no larger than a thimble and her body no wider than a strand of straw. Kikimora spins flax from dusk and to dawn, with evil intentions for the world.”

GWENDOLYN

Ok, the queen herself, haven’t met her yet but like who knows. Not really a whole lot here (my ears are ringing oops one sec ok i’m back hi) anyways um uh rings? Her name right off the bat has a lot to do with rings, and really that only applies to eda, because her ring was a big thing for her, she gave it to lilith, we all watched wing it like witches you know what’s up, but i mean like was that gwen’s ring? I really wanted the hand on eda’s wall to be gwen’s, very upset to see she has all of her body parts so far. I am also not sure if that’s how it’s spelled, but it means the same thing anyways. Also meaning fair or blessed, any woman who created both eda and lilith is probably mad powerful and we love to see it, also she’s a beastkeeper and i like i want to talk about that with eda’s curse but now is not the time for shenanigans (that’s a lie every time is the time for shenanigans i’m just exhausted)

RAYNE

Bitch, sorry, ok listen like um sidebar I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CHARACTER AND YOU ALL NEED TO KNOW IT but also at this point i’m not really sure about this character, is this their name, is that even how it’s spelled, girl idfk but like whooptydooo I do what I want so cope. Right now, we are assuming that they are the new bard coven head character, and like let me tell you the way that I am fully pissing my pants atm like bestie, anyways, if spelled rayne, then it means counsel or song, and this is why, do you see why this is why we spell it like this? It’s also scandanavian which means like nothing but it’s cool. This spelling fits because like counsel, head of the bard coven, you get it it’s fine, and then song, also head of the bard coven, you know. It fits so well, especially since this is supposed to be a friend from eda’s past, and like is supposed to try and recruit eda for a rebellion against the emperor in the episode eda’s requiem, i cannot convey to you how goddamn excited I am like there are not enough words in this realm or any others to tell you how prepared i am for this character to rock my world.

GILBERT

I AM S O B B I N GGGGG apparently one of willow’s dad’s names is gilbert and that is literally so cute I cannot like actually this knowledge makes up for coronavirus anyways it means bright promise and idk what that even has to do with anything but I love it and you should to omg

Now i have to go update the other characters see you in hell <3

#the owl house #luz noceda #lilith clawthorne #eda clawthorne #gwendolyn clawthorne #amity blight #alador blight #odalia blight #blight twins #willow park #gus porter #principal bump #rayne #hooty #character names

[heretic-altias]

Still thinking about chocobos, I’ve always seen them as a fusion between horses and chickens as someone with experience with both animals, so have some fun headcanons. Below a cut bc my list is long. Feel free to add on, I’d imagine some stuff from larger birds like emus and ostriches would make nice additions but my family doesn’t own ostriches, we own chickens so that’s what I know about.

- Despite the ingame sleeping model for them laying down, they probably sleep standing up like horses most of the time and just lay down sometimes. Roosting would be a bit impractical for birds this big lol. That being said, they are built much better for laying down and getting back up than horses so they could potentially lay down more often than horses do. They'd certainly sit on a nest if they're brooding eggs, so honestly any amount of laying down you headcanon probably would make sense anyway. They probably mostly lay down to sunbathe, chickens do that irl.

- Chocobos dust bathe bathe like chickens do. It’s very cute.

- There are competitions other than racing for them, maybe similar to horse shows irl. Imagine a chocobo cross country jumping course or chocobo dressage, or for western riding reining or barrel racing (I suggest YouTubing/Googling any of these you don’t know to see what they are)

- Chocobo breeds can vary. Some are bred for riding or driving purposes more like irl horses while others are bred for egg laying or meat (I could never eat one, but in world people probably do unless it’s a cultural Nope) more like chickens are. Some are also bred for interesting color combinations. You should absolutely google different chicken breeds and imagine chocobos with those feathers, I especially like the ones with poofy head feathers. Since chocobos ingame have even more colors than I’ve seen in chickens though, I’ll dip into my knowledge of parrots too and suggest those as color ideas as well. My family has a blue and gold macaw, African gray, and my little black capped conure, all of which would look fantastic as chocobo colors in my opinion. Anything is possible really, not just the solid colors we get ingame or specific irl birds.

- Much like a lot of irl kids go through a ‘horse phase’, lots of eorzean kids go through a ‘chocobo phase’ where they’re absolutely obsessed. Those who discover it’s not just a phase like myself are the ones who will work with chocobos for life, be it as a hobby or career path.

- Chocobos aren’t as bad as chickens with their pecking order, but even horses might clash a little when first introduced. Turn out groups are planned pretty carefully. Between hens mostly though, see further down for why roosters are Problematic.

- There are trail ride places that offer chocobo rides for people with 0 experience. Much like irl, this causes people to insist it’s easy to ride them bc they ‘did it once on vacation’ or 'took a chocobo porter once'

- You cannot geld a bird. To my knowledge anyway, and honestly I don’t really want to know how if I’m wrong lol. This means male chocobos are like roosters. Rooster chocobos probably have the longer fancier looking tail feathers, and probably longer fancier feathers on their head too since the ingame model has a little crest there. They also have spurs. Roos are way meaner than hens usually, so most casual riding birds are probably hens. Some show circuits might not even allow roos to enter. It also means you can only keep one roo with a group of hens usually unless it’s a really big group. Roosters irl can be ok together if there are no hens, and the grand companies probably do this since roos would have the spurs to better attack with in battle. Probably a specific breed of chocobo, bred for well tempered roos to ride into battle. They’d still have to check who they’re turning out with who carefully to make sure they get along, but it is doable. So casual riding birds, mostly hens, war birds, mostly roos. People with very large pastures might keep a roo with their hens for protection though.

- Some breeds of hen might get broody fairly often. It means they’ll sit on eggs or in a nest if there are no eggs bc they really wanna hatch some. They’re probably brats and near impossible to ride unless you manage to drag them out of their nest so they’re on their feet. Some people dunk their chicken’s butt in cold water to try and break the broodiness irl, but with a chocobo you’d probably need to just take a hose and spray it bc they’re too big to dunk. I’d imagine the broody breeds aren’t really the riding breeds though, they’re probably used for hatching eggs laid by the desired breed. They probably breed for less broodiness in riding bird breeds.

- Roosters absolutely crow. I doubt it would sound exactly like an irl rooster, some loud drawn out variation of the kweh or the little whistle sound they make maybe? I’ll leave the exact sound of it up to your imagination. Good luck sleeping on the chocobo farm.

- Just like chickens I don't think theres really a way to tell a roo from a hen on hatch until they grow their feathers in and start to crow. Unless you get a specific breed that you can tell at birth, but most chickens it's a wait and see thing. We've got two chicks rn that my family is praying to the irl genetic rng gods to be girls since we can't keep them if they're roos. I'm sure similar situations have arisen hatching chocobos before, where someone can only keep the chick if it turns out to be a hen. Potential for a Tragic Backstory if your character raised and bonded with a chick that turned out to be a roo and had to give it up.

- They probably grow at a rate closer to horses than chickens. This could really be head cannoned either way, so feel free to say they grow as fast as chickens or ostriches or something if you wanna but as riding animals this just feels too fast in my opinion. That means you probably won't be saddling your chocobo till it's at least 3 or so. Egg incubation however is probably closer to birds since horses don't lay eggs. Chickens take 21 days to incubate and hatch, google says ostriches and emus take closer to the 40-50 day range and personally that longer time feels better to me since they're much larger than chickens. Looks like there was an ostrich fact in here after all huh.

- Lifespan is probably closer to horses, chickens don't actually live very long. Horses can live 25-30 years. I knew one that lived to be well over 30 though, so there are exceptions.

- If a baby chick is raised without a mother hen irl, they need to be raised in a pair or larger group or they'll get lonely as flock animals. With our chickens, the sibling they were raised with is usually their best buddy and they'll stick together when out free ranging fairly often. Chocobos are probably like this too. Horses are also herd animals and prefer to be kept in groups usually, so really it just makes sense for chocobos to be flock oriented.

- Paddocks and/or stalls probably need a big nest box type setup for the birds to lay their eggs in. But I doubt all chocobo breeds lay year round. Second ostrich fact, google says they only lay during breeding season. Chocos not bred for laying might work more like this, but I could see it varying based on breed. Most chickens actually stop producing eggs entirely when they're older, unless they're death layers. That's a specific type of chicken that'll lay for their entire life.

This is all I can think of for now, will add more if I think of anything else. I'm open to questions about horses or chickens if people want information for their own headcanons. I'm no expert, but my family keeps chickens and I own a horse so I at least have experience working around both that others out there might not have. Don't ask me about ostriches though. Find an ostrich farmer for that.

#i really do need an OC thats a chocobo rider #id be so good at writing that #idk what the word 'equestrian' but for chocobos would be #ekwehstrian? #no that was horrible im so sorry #ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #chocobo #shadowbringers #endwalker

[bethansfandoms]

The marauders as things my family have said during lockdown:

James: Come on, why aren’t you doing this workout with us?

Peter: ...I mean this bagel’s really good though

James: ha I’ve done more steps than Sirius today!

Remus: grandads probably done more steps than him today

Sirius: but... but he’s dead

Remus: exactly

Sirius: you need to get your head out those books, not good for you, all that reading

Remus: oh just because I actually know how to read

Peter: uh... what’re you doing?

Sirius: *sitting in under stairs cupboard eating dry cereal* what do you mean?

Euphemia: oh come on, just give your brother the money

Sirius: brother? Ha! I have no brother!

James: oh my god you landed on my property I don’t make the rules of monopoly!

Peter: you can’t have lunch it’s only eleven o’clock

James: yeah but this is just first lunch, I’ll have second lunch at twelve.

Peter: but you only had second breakfast half an hour ago

James: yes. I know that.

Sirius: how many cups of tea have you had today?

Remus: four

Sirius: oh that’s actually not so-

Remus: teen. Fourteen

Remus: how have we run out of milk?!

Sirius: *has had 7 iced lattes that day* I... I don’t know

Peter: how about we play a game!

Sirius: I’d rather slowly insert pins into my eyes

Remus: can be arranged

James: you’re up late

Sirius: yeah but I don’t have work today

James: but it’s Thursday

Sirius: what?! I thought it was Sunday!

Sirius: I didn’t realise there were chickpeas in hummus

Remus: What?! How?

Peter: do you smell burning?

Sirius: oh shit! The flapjacks have been in the oven for an hour!

Peter: how long were they supposed to have?

Sirius: about twenty minutes...

James: Do you reckon you can order ostrich eggs?

Remus: What the fuck do you want an ostrich egg for?

James: Big omelet

Peter: Chuck me that knife

Sirius: *throws knife*

Peter: Ah! What the fuck is wrong with you!

Sirius: you said chuck!

(It missed fear not, I’m okay)

Remus: The shopping arrived. Only one substitution.

Remus: They substituted the meat free balls for tennis balls. And so we’ll be having them with spaghetti tomorrow evening.

Peter: Least favourite thing about lockdown?

James: Being trapped in the house with Sirius

Sirius: Fuck you

#mwpp #marauders textpost #incorrect marauders quotes #marauders #marauders era #remus lupin #james potter #peter pertigrew #sirius black #harry potter #harry potter text post #incorrect harry potter quotes #mwpp era #mwpp textpost #hp marauders #marauders quotes #incorrect wolfstar quotes #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #prongsfoot #wolfstar

[inber]

Vegas Baby - Part 2/2 of a Very Dumb Geraskier Headcanon

When Geralt emerges from the bathroom some time later, he looks decidedly better. He's taken a shower and kept some water and gatorade down, and his hair is twisted up in a towel. The hotel robe almost doesn't fit his arms, but he has wrestled into it.

Jaskier looks less fresh, but he is less touched by the brutality of hangover. He can't sit still, so as Geralt is in the other room, he goes into full denial mode. Bins the condoms -- three quite used, and he tries not to marvel at how either of them got it up last night -- and the lube, makes the bed, orders room service. He wraps himself in a robe too, and grins uneasily as Geralt enters.

He makes a lame joke about a snack with their film, gesturing to the covered platters, of which there are several. Geralt raises his eyebrows, and Jaskier tries to fumble out that he didn't know what Geralt would want -- but when Geralt uncovers the first plate and finds two over-easy eggs, four crisp bacon strips, and almost-burnt toast, they both chuckle a little. Of course Jaskier knows his... best friend's... go-to hangover meal.

Geralt picks up the USB like it might be haunted, and clears his throat, before he says that they might as well see the damage. As he fits the device into the TV, he realises he hasn't taken his ring off. When he sits at the edge of the bed, picking at a piece of bacon, he notes that Jaskier hasn't either.

The opening title reads, 'The Wedding Ceremony of Jaskier and Gerralt' and they both make a noise -- Jaskier because of the typo, Geralt because of the font choice.

And it only gets more interesting from there.

The camera focuses on the two of them stood beneath a plastic archway decorated with huge pink plastic flowers, lawn flamingos, and fairy lights. Their celebrant is an overweight Darth Vader with a microphone. Apparently they somehow roped the Superman performer in as a witness, although he now has his shirt on. Off-screen, someone is playing Katy Perry's 'I Kissed A Girl' on a keyboard, slightly off-tempo.

Jaskier and Geralt are clasping each other's hands, and absolutely beaming. Jaskier is dressed in a wedding gown, obviously rented (the first thing he hisses is, "I chose polyester?!") and it's held in place by a diamonte dotted corset. The train is huge, and takes out a couple of flamingos during the course of the ceremony. He's wearing a fashionably short veil, more of a fascinator.

Geralt is wearing his party outfit, but half the shirt buttons are undone, and he has the addition of a neon yellow sequin and ostrich plume Vegas showgirl headpiece, as well as the long caribou tails tucked into the back of his pants. ("Explains the feathers." He grunts)

Darth Vader begins the ceremony in his breathiest Vader impression, before Jaskier pauses and asks him if he needs an inhaler. There's a brief moment where Jaskier and Geralt squabble over Star Wars lore, Jaskier explains that he chose Vader because he liked the cape, and the celebrant clears his throat and carries on in a decidedly more normal -- albeit bored -- voice.

The ceremony is standard, until they get to the personal vows. Jaskier goes first, and immediately starts crying as he tries to explain that he can't believe he's finally marrying his best friend, and this is the best day of his life, and he's loved Geralt since high school, when he punched a bully for trying to take Jaskier's clarinet case.

When Geralt is handed the microphone, his voice is thick, but surprisingly lucid for someone that should, by all accounts, be unconscious. He tells Jaskier that he's always been too scared to admit how he really feels. How Jaskier was always surrounded by other, better suitors. How Jaskier deserved the best, and Geralt is just a lousy college teacher, but he'll do his best every single day to be enough. And he loves him.

Jaskier is ugly crying. There's a lot of mascara. Superman is also sniffling. A fubsy woman hands out tissues and they all take a moment.

Rings and promises are exchanged, Darth Vader declares them wed and says "The power of the dark side demands that you kiss your spouse", and the two men reach for each other with a solemn desperation. They kiss sweetly, with slow promise; it's not sloppy and drunk. When they part, Geralt thumbs Jaskier's tears away, and mouthes 'I love you', which makes Jaskier glow in a grin.

The film ends, and the two stare at the black screen in stunned silence. Geralt picks up a small album and flips through it: the two of them stood at the altar; both of them with an arm slung around the celebrant; Superman catching the bouquet; and the last photo - their wedding kiss. Somehow, although Jaskier has decimated 4 flamingos at that point, Geralt's headpiece is askew, and the celebrant is actually looking at his watch -- somehow they are the calm in a storm, the eye of something peaceful and genuine.

Both of them stare at the photo. Minutes pass as small pieces of memory return, coaxed by the film. Jaskier places his hand gently over Geralt's.

"Were you... just drunk?" His voice is tiny. "Or did you mean the things you said?"

Geralt thinks about how well-off Jaskier could be. How they could play this off as a very silly story at the actual wedding. How they could haul arse to the city hall and file an annulment. Then he thinks about how long he's lived with the secret, and he can't. He can't lie to Jaskier anymore, even if he has nothing to offer the vivacious man. "I meant them." He whispers, "But I know you love Valdo, I know this was a mistake--"

"I meant what I said, too." Jaskier cuts him off. Geralt looks up sharply to meet two tearful blue eyes. "I never thought you were interested in me. You thought me too impulsive, too... difficult. As a partner, I mean."

Geralt bites his lip. "The men you date. I see the things they buy you, the way they treat you. I can't afford to spoil you the way you deserve."

Jaskier laughs, and laughs, and Geralt eventually shoves him over. Still, he giggles on his side. "Oh, christ, Ger'. We've wasted so much time. Yeah, those men bought me pretty distractions, and yeah, I like nice things, but I have a trust fund if I really want anything for myself, you know that. I think, maybe, I was just... distracting myself. Filling a void with admirers and Gucci because I couldn't... have you."

"You want me more than Gucci?" Geralt's voice is wobbly and incredulous.

"I do." Jaskier says.

"That's the nicest thing you've ever told me." Geralt whispers, and lays down next to him. They grin stupidly, and then hesitantly, share their first sober kiss.

It's warm and tingly and Geralt tastes like bacon and toothpaste and Jaskier like strawberry jam, and they bump noses as they work out how to fit into one another best. Jaskier's tongue is playful, and Geralt purrs his delight into the embrace.

And then Jaskier's phone rings. The tone is 'Diet Mountain Dew' by Lana Del Rey, and they both flinch. Valdo.

Jaskier clears his throat, and answers. "Heey, hon." He speaks, a little too chipper. Geralt is close enough that he can hear; he gestures to ask if he should leave, but Jaskier violently shakes his head no.

"Hello, sweet thing." Valdo's voice always makes Geralt's skin crawl. "Just checking in. Are you having fun with your friend?"

"Oh, tons." Jaskier enthuses, "We drank champagne and played poker. Tickets to Britney tonight!" Well, they did do both of those things, so he's not lying.

"Urgh, I'm glad you took Gerard. Can't stand that Spears tart." Both men bristle.

"His name is Geralt, hon, you know that." Jaskier grits his teeth.

"Sure, babe, whatever you like." Valdo's not listening. "Hey, I checked my account and there's a five grand charge to some... cheap wedding chapel. Y'know anything about that?"

"Nope." Jaskier's eyes are wide. "Maybe a mistake with Visa? I'll stop using your card."

"Nah, it's just five thou', I'll sort it later. Rein it in a little bit though, sugar cheeks. You're around a hundred thousand already, and I said no more than one-twenty."

Geralt's eyes are huge. How the fuck did they burn through - then he remembers the high roller room, and sighs. Jaskier was incredibly chip-happy.

Jaskier croons down the line. "Sure, of course. I'm putting your card away, swear. Call you later!"

"Love y--" Jaskier hangs up, and throws the phone onto the bed like it's a snake. He shudders.

"Has he always... spoken to me like that, Ger'?" Jaskier's voice is wobbly. "Like I'm a bimbo idiot?"

Geralt sets his mouth in a hard line. "...They all do, Jask'. And he never remembers my name. Once he called me 'Gershwin'."

"But you are so important to me!" Jaskier explodes, frustrated. "Why... did I let them...?"

Geralt shrugs. "Because you're smart enough that you could. You stocked your wardrobe and garage and what - three condos? And they thought you were the stupid one. But who cries when you break it off - you or them?"

Jaskier blinks. "Christ, Geralt. You must think me so... vapid."

"Yeah, that's why I hang out with you all the time." Geralt snorts, and opens his arms. "Come here."

Jaskier obeys, and it feels cosy and nice and right. He nuzzles into Geralt's neck.

"I'm calling it off." He whispers, "I'll call Valdo and tell him it's not working."

Geralt hums. "He might be pissed about the one hundred..." And then he tenses up. He scrambles about for his pants from the night before. Jaskier observes, bemused.

"What are...?"

"Whilst you were making out with the roulette table," Geralt fishes into the back pocket and pulls out the 200k chip, "I was owning the poker table."

Jaskier claps his hands, and squeals. "Oh, oh, can we rent a limo for Britney tonight?"

Geralt grins. "For my husband? On our honeymoon? Anything." He pauses, "Erm, within one hundred thousand. You'd best... make that call." His eyes drop to his feet. "If, I mean, if you do want. Me, and this."

Jaskier crosses the room and cups Geralt's face. "It was not the wedding I envisioned for myself, and we are absolutely having a second ceremony later, but yes. I want you, I've wanted you, and I'll want you forever."

Geralt's eyes prick with tears. He puts his hands over Jaskier's. "May the force be with us."

"What force?" Jaskier tilts his head, and Geralt can only laugh, and kiss his darling husband.

#head canon #headcanon #geraskier #au #the witcher au #silly #fluff #geralt x jaskier #fortune writes #witchernonsense #and they lived happily ever after

[scones-and-texting-and-murder]

Take It (Over) Easy

Based on this ridiculous r/relationships post 

For my beloved @deanismypatronass

“Not again, Dean.” It was too early for this nonsense and Sam tried to reason with him from the passenger seat. “There are a million places we could go for breakfast.”

Dean didn’t even take his eyes off the road. “Nope.”

Sam slumped against the seat. “Why? Why do we keep doing this?”

“You know why.”

Sam knew exactly why. The question was, did Dean?

For weeks now, Dean had been involved in a...Sam wasn’t even sure there was a word for it. Conflict? Standoff? Definitely not a battle of wits since Dean seemed to be using exactly zero of his. Whatever was happening between Dean and the cook at the diner, there was no doubt it was escalating.

It had never been a problem before. Cas was a great guy and an awesome cook and they’d frequented the place to the point of being regulars. That meant sometimes Cas would bring out their plates himself, stopping to chat for a few minutes when he did. Sam knew his brother better than he knew himself, and he’d watch Dean’s breakfast begin to cool while he talked with Cas, using his long lashes to every advantage as Cas stared with those intense blue eyes.

Sam was pretty sure there was more to it as well, even though he had no proof.

But then one day Dean had ordered his usual: two eggs over easy, bacon, hash browns, and rye toast. The server had brought out their food--nothing unusual there, the place was jammed--and Dean had glared at his plate.

“These are overcooked,” he announced. Sam looked up. The server started to reach for the plate again.

“I can take them back and have them redone,” she offered.

“No, it’s fine,” Dean said. “Just let the cook know.”

When she walked away, Sam looked at his brother. “Busy today.”

“Guess so.” Dean crammed a fork full of potatoes into his mouth, steadfastly ignoring his eggs.

Sam blinked at him. “I’m sure they can be remade.”

“Nope,” Dean said, aggressively biting a strip of bacon.

It had been over a month since that day and still Dean insisted they come back. Every time he ordered the same breakfast: two eggs over easy, bacon, hash browns, and rye toast. Every time his plate would come out exactly as he requested. Except for the eggs. Week one they were scrambled. Week two was an omelette. Week three the server nervously came out trying to keep two hard boiled eggs from rolling off the plate.

The entire diner seemed to hold its collective breath each time Dean entered, the bell on the door merrily chiming in direct opposition to the tension that filled the space. Cas stared impassively from the kitchen as Dean walked to their table, chin up in defiance. He ordered and then the wait began. Each week Dean glared at his plate, but refused to send it back, nothing changing until two weeks ago when he’d scrawled a note on the back of the bill as he paid it.

Then, last week, Cas had come out to deliver the plate himself.

“Your breakfast, sir,” he said with more sarcasm per syllable than Sam had ever heard.

Dean’s plate was dominated by six fried eggs, each cooked to varying stages of doneness. They were layered on top of the toast and potatoes and bacon. He set the plate down with a clatter. Dean took a deep breath and Sam knew he was counting to ten. He maybe got to six before turning to Cas. “You got something you want to say to me?”

Cas smiled. “Need some hot sauce?”

Dean tensed all over and made like he was going to get up, but Sam called his name and he stayed put. Cas calmly walked away.

Sam glanced over the menu without reading it, waiting to see what today would bring, idly wondering how hard it would be for Cas to acquire an ostrich egg. Through gritted teeth, Dean gave his usual order, and Sam could barely swallow his coffee as he waited. Dean sat like a statue, forearms leaning on the table as the minutes ticked away. When his plate arrived, it had all the components. Two eggs, four strips of bacon, hash browns and rye toast. The food was arranged on the perimeter of the plate, the bacon forming a diamond, inside of which Cas had cracked two raw eggs. The server set down the plate and nearly ran back to the safety of the counter.

“That’s it,” Dean said, with frightening stillness.

“Dean,” Sam said, but it was no use. He was on his feet striding toward the kitchen. Cas stormed out to meet him. The diner fell silent, all eyes on them. The two of them stood poised, every muscle tensed. Dean reached for Cas, who shoved his arm away, then shoved him with both hands. Dean staggered backwards, quickly regaining his balance and lunging toward Cas.

Becky, the tiny blonde manager, stepped between them. “Take it outside.”

Sam hurried to open the door, keeping his distance but making sure he could keep an eye on things. He watched as they argued, gesturing wildly at each other. He watched as Cas grabbed Dean by the shirt and pushed him up against the wall. Sam watched as Dean reached for Cas, both hands on his face as he pulled him in and kissed him.

Smiling, Sam went back to the table to finish his breakfast.

#deancas #destiel #My writing #idiots in love