#I was eight years old and I wanted to die. Now I’m almost seventeen and I want the same. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gamerwoo · 3 years

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Seventeen: Welcome to Caratland (End)

Characters: Seventeen x reader (gender neutral)

Genre/warnings: horror/halloween au, choose your own adventure au, horror au, angst, murder, major character death,

Summary: The night before Halloween, you and your 13 friends decide to go explore the infamous abandoned amusement park: Caratland, where it’s rumored that rides start on their own, empty mascot suits are seen walking around, and people don’t return the same as when they left. Can you and your friends survive the night in Caratland?

a/n: realizing halloween is coming up, i’ve decided to FINALLY finish the au i did last halloween. for those who kept up with it: i’m sorry for discontinuing it. there was hardly any interaction with it so i just lost interest and motivation. and the lack of interaction is why i decided to just put all the choices in this part so you can see all the endings and whatnot. i’m sorry it took so long to wrap things up and there will probably be mistakes so i’m sorry about that, but i hope you all still enjoy it. ALSO LMK WHICH PATH/ENDING YOU GET FIRST TIME AROUND!!!

Tag list: @sadienita @xummie @mingoats @xxbluestrifexx @kwanseo @junhaoshua @allegxdly

Previous | Caratland Masterlist

[NOTE: there will probably be mix-ups with paths and endings because i literally just did all of this in 3 days and posted without anyone proof reading it. i will go through everything later to fix and edit things, so please be patient with me!!!]

»»————-　　————-««

16 -- A

“It’s probably best to go back to the breach, right?” you decided. “We know it’s there so it’s the best way to get back.”

“_____ has a point,” Wonwoo shrugged.

“Alright, everyone head back to the hole -- and don’t get split up,” Seungcheol stated before deciding to take the lead.

“Okay, but if I see one of those glorified Chuck E. Cheese mascots coming toward us, I’m leaving all of you behind,” Seungkwan muttered as he followed with the group.

All of you were glancing around trying to keep an eye out for the animatronics, while also trying to quickly and quietly make your way back to the way you’d gotten into the park. You kept mentally kicking yourself for convincing your friends to come here. If it wasn’t for you, you wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place. You were just lucky everyone was still here...

The gates were starting to come into view, and you felt relief begin to course through you. Your legs were starting to move faster on their own, just wanting to get out of this living nightmare.

Seungcheol shooting his arms out to stop the group was what had you skid to a stop. He whispered loudly for everyone to get down behind the nearby shrubs and two trash bins. The fourteen of you poked your heads around to see what had gotten him to act like this, and your heart sank at what you saw

Serenity was blocking the hole in the fence.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan hissed.

“We’re gonna die here...” Seokmin whispered, but Wonwoo was quick to comfort him.

“What’s the plan now?” Hansol wondered.

“I know it’ll risk us going to jail or something,” Jihoon began, “but I think it’s time we just cave and call someone.”

“No, I’m not going back there!” Seungkwan whispered intensely.

Your eyebrows furrowed as your turned to look at him, “Excuse me?”

“I’d rather get arrested than get murdered,” Mingyu insisted. “At least we know we’ll be safe and alive in jail.”

You made a face, “Will we, though?”

“Listen,” Hansol interrupted as he pulled out his phone, “I’ll just call my parents -- they’re really chill. And worse case scenario, they just lecture us.”

But as he went to make the call, all his phone did was beep at him like the line was busy. He took the phone away from his ear and looked down, furrowing his eyebrows.

“We had service all night, right?” he asked.

“Yeah...?” Joshua replied.

“Well now I don’t for some reason,” he said, turning his phone screen to show his friends.

Mingyu’s eyes widened, “You’re kidding.”

Then everyone, including you, were taking out their phones and checking for service. Just like Hansol, you had no bars.

Unfortunately, everyone else was in the same boat.

Now, Seokmin was on the verge of tears, “We’re going to die here!”

“Don’t get hysterical yet,” Minghao told him. “There’s gotta be a way out of this. Even if we have to wait around until morning, we can probably out-run these hunks of metal.”

“Y’know, I heard a friend of a friend snuck in here once,” Soonyoung began. “Some dude Changkyun knows. He said there’s apparently some sort of underground exit under the food court.”

“At this point, we’ll have to try anything,” Wonwoo sighed.

“So back to the food court?” Seungcheol practically whined.

You took a deep breath, “Unfortunately, yeah.”

[GO TO: 17 -- A]

»»————-　　————-««

16 -- B

“Does anyone even remember where the hole in the fence is?” you asked.

Everyone either gave you blank stares or shook their heads. You let out a sigh.

“Alternate way it is,” Minghao shrugged.

“Let’s just hang here until someone thinks of something,” Seungcheol suggested. “We’re all here, and I think those things are still hanging around wherever we were before. It’ll take a while before we see them again.”

So the fourteen of you hung out at the merry-go-round. Most of you leaned up against the horses or found yourselves sitting down on them. A few of you sat on the two steps of the platform. Chan and Wonwoo were sitting in one of the carriages that most families or parents sat in. All of you were scrolling on your phones or looking at someone else’s phone, trying to research anything about Caratland that might help you find a way out. Maybe a map or a blueprint or something might come up.

Suddenly, the ride jerked. You almost fell over onto Junhui as the ride began turning slowly, the music trying to play but the wiring was too old and worn that it just sounded demonic at best.

“Ha ha, very funny,” Jihoon scoffed. “Who turned on the ride?”

The question was overlooked by Mingyu’s shriek. Every head who was on his side of the merry-go-round whipped over to see Bongbong sitting on a horse only a few rows away from the tall boy. But another scream from Seungkwan was what brought attention to the answer to Jihoon’s question.

Eight was standing at the controls of the ride, his never-changing smile on his face as he slowly waved.

“Run!” Joshua called, leaping off of the horse he was sitting sideways on.

“Run where?” Seokmin called as he scrambled to get off the ride and jump the short fence.

“Food court!” Soonyoung shouted as he pumped his legs as fast as they would go. “It’s a long shot...but I have an idea!”

“I’d rather know the idea first!” Jeonghan called after him as the group ran together away from the merry-go-round.

“One of Changkyun’s friends apparently broke in before!” he tried to explain between breaths. “He said there’s an underground exit there! Who knows if it’s legit, but...”

But it was the only plan they had.

[GO TO: 17 -- A]

»»————-　　————-««

17 -- A

All of you had to squeeze through the tiny basement windows to get back in after finding the doors to be locked once again.

“How’d those fuckers get out in the first place?” Jeonghan huffed as he landed on the concrete floor of the basement. “The doors have been locked this entire time.”

“We’re being chased by animatronics that haven’t been functioning for years, and they’re out to kill us for some reason, and that’s what you’re going to question?” Soonyoung pointed out.

“Can we focus, please?” Seungcheol whined. “The sooner we find this secret eit, the sooner we’re free.”

“Everyone start searching,” Hansol said, waiving for everyone to scour the basement.

All of you searched every inch you could. The floor, the walls, shelves, behind old cupboards and props -- but there was nothing.

“What if it’s not here?” Chan suggested.

“Yeah? And where else would an underground exit be other than in the basement?” Jeonghan shot back.

The youngest frowned and rolled his eyes, “Soonyoung just said it was underground, he didn’t say under what part of the food court.”

“I mean...Jeonghan has a point,” Seokmin admitted hesitantly. “The basement is underground.”

[TO GO UPSTAIRS TO THE FOOD COURT GO TO: 18 -- A]

[TO CONTINUE SEARCHING THE BASEMENT GO TO: 18 -- B]

»»————-　　————-««

18 -- A

“It can’t hurt to check somewhere else,” you spoke up, moving to stand beside Chan. “We’re looked everywhere down here. What if it’s not in the basement? There could be some secret tunnel under a different location and we’re just going to be here wasting our time.”

“I mean...yeah, that makes sense,” Jihoon decided with a shrug. “Alright, we’ll try back upstairs.”

“I don’t wanna go back up there...” Seokmin whined, clinging to the nearest person -- it happened to be Junhui.

“We’re all going,” you reassured him with a soft smile. “Let’s go. Nothing’s going to happen.”

You led the way up the stairs this time, but you found yourself going slow. You strained your ears for any noise on the other side of the basement door but the food court seemed to be quiet. Maybe the animatronics couldn’t get back in since the doors were locked.

You pushed the door open cautiously, poking your head out to glance around. It seemed empty, so you opened the door wider and let everyone else out.

“Is that e--”

SLAM!

All of you jumped back and turned around hearing the basement door slam shut behind the last person out.

“Fuck this, I want out,” Mingyu stated, shaking his head as he began to quickly walk away from the door.

“Hold up,” Wonwoo reached out and grabbed Mingyu’s wrist to keep him with the group. “We should stick together.”

“It probably just closed from the weight of the door anyway,” Minghao figured before going to pull on the door handle.

It didn’t budge.

“Move out of the way, toothpick,” Seungcheol smoothly pushed Minghao out of the way before trying the door himself.

Still nothing.

“D-did it...lock?” Chan asked slowly.

“Haha, would you look at that?” Seungkwan said, checking his wrist that very clearly didn’t have a watch on it. “I actually have to get the fuck out of here. Bye!”

“Maaaaybe,” Hansol grabbed him by the elbow and dragged him back, “don’t do that.”

“Yeah, nobody goes running off, got it?” Jihoon checked, shining his light at everyone to make sure they agreed to the new rule. “Shit’s too weird to be splitting up.”

“I think our best bet would be to hide in the security room until morning,” you spoke up. “It’s probably the safest place in here.”

“_____’s right,” Wonwoo nodded. “Let’s go -- and stick together.”

As a group, all of you made your way to the security room, with you, Jihoon, and Soonyoung leading the way. All of you had your lights, shining them around to make sure the entire area was safe until you made it to the security room and barricaded the door closed.

“Jesus Christ, I hated that,” Mingyu panted as if he had been holding his breath the entire time you were walking.

“I think I almost shit myself,” Soonyoung admitted.

“Imagine your last words being ‘I think I almost shit myself’,” Junhui snorted.

“Hang on, shut the fuck up,” Seungcheol snapped, holding a hand up as he quickly scanned the group in the room. He was trying to count heads while all of you were talking, and as he quickly recounted, his blood turned to ice. “Why are we one short?”

“One short?” Jeonghan asked.

“Someone’s missing,” he said urgently.

“Alright, let’s run attendance real quick,” Jihoon decided, trying to stay level-headed. He pulled out his phone and went to the group chat. “Obviously I’m here. Soonyoung?”

“Here.”

“Seungcheol?”

“Here.”

“Mingyu?”

“Unfortunately here.”

“Hansol?”

“Yup.”

“_____?”

“Here.”

“Joshua?”

Silence.

Jihoon looked up from his phone, repeating, “Josh?”

You and your friends looked around, trying to find Joshua’s face in the crowded room. But nobody spoke up, and the silence following Joshua’s name became deafening.

“Oh fuck...” you breathed, trying to not completely lose your shit. “Did we really lose Josh?”

“We have to go back for him,” Jeonghan insisted.

“What? No!” Seungkwan shouted. “That’s suicide!”

Then everyone was bickering. While everyone of course wanted to hope Joshua was safe, half of the group felt that going back out to look for him would mean all of them would get killed. The other half, on the other hand, were willing to risk their lives to go on a rescue mission.

[TO GO OUT LOOKING FOR JOSHUA GO TO: 19 -- A]

[TO STAY IN THE SECURITY ROOM GO TO: 19 -- B]

»»————-　　————-««

18 -- B

“I mean...how would it be under anywhere else?” you asked slowly with a shrug. “No offense, Chan. But like, this is kind of the only basement in the place.”

“See?” Jeonghan sneered.

Chan just frowned and rolled his eyes.

“There’s gotta be something we missed,” Soonyoung said, trying to stay calm. “Let’s just sweep the place over again.”

But after more looking, you still came up with nothing.

“At this point, I’m about to just dig through the boxes of old animatronic parts and just hope there’s a portal at the bottom or something,” Joshua sighed, slumped against a wall with Jeonghan beside him.

“Good luck,” Jeonghan scoffed. “I already tried picking one up to move them away from the wall but they’re super fucking heavy. It’s literally impossible.”

You turned your head to look at the large stack of boxes. There were piles of various sizes, but the ones at the back pressed up against the wall went up the highest. It was a long shot, but behind the boxes was the only place nobody checked because it couldn’t be reached. But with everyone giving up hope, it didn’t hurt to try, right?

“Hey, Gyu,” you spoke up before pointing to the boxes. “Think you can move those?”

Mingyu shrugged, “Yeah, probably.”

He walked over to the wall and began lifting boxes one-by-one. He grunted as he picked them up and moved them away until he called everyone over.

“There’s metal behind here!” he called over his shoulder.

“Ooh, is it the door?” Soonyoung asked excitedly, pushing himself off the floor.

“Told you it was better to look down here,” Jeonghan said once more.

Jihoon groaned, “Can you let it go? Leave Chan alone already.”

Seungcheol started assisting in the box-moving until the metal door was accessible. Seungcheol tried to push it open, but it didn’t budge. He tried harder, but still nothing.

“Can I try?” Mingyu asked.

Seungcheol stepped out of the way, gesturing for the tallest to give it a shot.

Mingyu threw his shoulder into the door a few times before it finally swung open, leading to a narrow corridor that looked like it would bring you straight to Hell.

“Okay,” Soonyoung breathed out, “let’s see if this is the way to freedom.”

[GO TO 20 -- A]

»»————-　　————-««

19 -- A

“Why is this an argument?!” you shouted over the bickering. “Our friend could be dead! I don’t care if nobody comes with me, but I’m going to find Josh.”

“I’ll go,” Jeonghan stated.

“Me too,” Hansol volunteered with a slight raise of his hand.

“Plus, I highly doubt an animatronic got him,” Minghao scoffed as he went to join your group as you went to open the door.

“Well...good luck with that,” Seungkwan nodded.

In the end, it was you leading the way, with Jeonghan, Hansol, Minghao, Seokmin, and Seungcheol tagging along -- the latter two clinging to each other as you opened the door and went down the short hallway to the door that read EMPLOYEES ONLY on the other side.

“Why would he split off from the group?” Jeonghan wondered. “If he were trying to prank you guys, he would’ve had me in on it.”

“Maybe he just--”

Your sentence was cut off by a scream -- your own scream. Your eyes saw the scene before you: Joshua’s body laying just in front of the EMPLOYEES ONLY door, a bloodied mess. All you could do was scream.

Standing over him, covered in what you could only assume was your friend’s blood, was Bongbong.

“_____, run!” Minghao shouted, grabbing your arm and yanking you away from the door.

He quickly reached for the door and slammed it closed as you and the others ran back down the short hall. Jihoon had poked his head out the door to see what the noise was, and you crashed right into him, hyperventilating as tears welled in your eyes.

God, that image was going to be burned into your brain forever.

“What happened?” he asked.

“J-J-Josh!” you sobbed.

“Those things are in here,” Minghao panted, closing the door to the security room and pressing his back. “Th-they got Josh.”

“You’re fucking with us,” Seungkwan said quietly and very unsurely.

“Would Minghao fuck with you?!” Jeonghan cried. “If you don’t believe us, why don’t you go out there and check for yourself, Kwan? Go get yourself traumatized!”

“Okay, don’t scream at him, it won’t help anything,” Wonwoo spoke up, trying to somehow keep the group put together.

“Let’s just focus on finding a way out,” Seungcheol decided in a shaky voice.

“U-um...guys?” Mingyu spoke up, staring into the monitors.

Everyone gathered over to see what he was looking at.

Each room had a camera and a monitor to go with it. In each room, stood an animatronic. Each camera had an animatronic staring into it, as if they all were staring at the group.

They knew where you were.

“We have to get out of here,” Seomin panted, beginning to hyperventilate. “They’re going to come in here and kill us!”

“I get it’s scary, but we have to stay calm and--”

“Hey!”

Everyone turned their heads a the sudden exclamation. Chan was standing beside a square metal door in the floor with some dusty boxes and wires he’d moved to find it. He smirked, gesturing to the door.

“While you guys were shitting your pants, I found the underground exit,” he stated.

“Well fuck, kid,” Jihoon whistled under his breath.

“Let’s get the hell outta here,” Soonyoung said as he threw the trapdoor opened and descended the ladder that led to a narrow corridor.

Chan gave Jeonghan a pointed look, “And you thought I was stupid.”

Jeonghan just rolled his eyes, “Whatever.”

[GO TO 20 -- A]

»»————-　　————-««

19 -- B

You felt like a shitty person for not wanting to risk your life for Joshua. You felt extremely guilty that you didn’t want to go out and look for your friend, but truthfully, you were afraid to die -- and that’s why half your friends didn’t want to go looking for him. Not everyone was brave enough to be a hero, and while you always told yourself you would be when putting yourself into the shoes of horror movie characters, it just wasn’t the truth.

But in the midst of the argument of whether or not to go out to search for Josh -- the argument that you stayed silent for -- Mingyu spoke up in a shaky voice, “U-uh...g-guys?”

Everyone turned toward him to see he was staring into the monitors. You all gathered over to see what he was looking at.

Each room had a camera and a monitor to go with it. However, the monitors had gone fuzzy so you couldn’t see anything in any of the rooms.

Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrowed, “Why are the cameras suddenly down?”

You wished they stayed that way after seeing what was displayed next. In each room, stood an animatronic. Each camera had an animatronic staring into it, as if they all were staring at the group.

They knew where you were.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the most disturbing thing.

You could see on one of the monitors, Bongbong was standing in front of the camera holding a familiar body. Joshua was being held up by his neck, and blood was coming out of his mouth, nose, eyes, and even his ears.

You weren’t the only one to let out a scream and flinch away from the camera, hiding your face as you started panicking and crying.

“We have to get out of here,” Seomin panted, beginning to hyperventilate. “They’re going to come in here and kill us!”

“We have to find the fucking exit!” Seungcheol said in a panic. “Everyone go--”

“Hey!”

Everyone turned their heads a the sudden exclamation. Chan was standing beside a square metal door in the floor with some dusty boxes and wires he’d moved to find it. He was just staring at you like he hadn’t just witnessed what all of you did -- and maybe he didn’t because he was too busy searching.

“Way ahead of you,” he stated.

“Thank god,” Jihoon said under his breath.

“Let’s get the hell outta here,” Soonyoung said as he threw the trapdoor opened and descended the ladder that led to a narrow corridor.

Chan gave Jeonghan a pointed look, “And you thought I was stupid.”

Jeonghan just glared at him, “I’m not in the fucking mood.”

And then he went down the ladder.

[GO TO 20 -- A]

»»————-　　————-««

20 -- A

Other than only being wide enough for one person to walk through at a time, it was also very dimly-lit. It definitely looked like something straight out of a horror movie that would 100% lead to the characters’ imminent death.

Needless to say your heart was pounding in your ears.

There was another metal door, but this one was far easier to open. The squeak of it echoed down the corridor as the thirteen of you filed into the room. It seemed to be where they kept the spare mascot suits that actual employees would wear. There were a few of the bodies of the suits hanging up, with heads scattered in corners and on shelves, along with gloves and feet strewn about.

“I hate this,” Jun stated, looking around the room.

“I know these things are empty, but looking into their empty eyes is somehow worse,” Jihoon mumbled, staring at an Eight head.

At the opposite end of the tiny room in the right corner was another metal door. You were starting to wonder how many more metal doors you’d have to encounter in this place.

To the left of the room, there was a tiny wooden door that seemed like it would lead to a crawlspace. You assumed there was just more storage back there, but nobody cared enough to look back there, anyway. The focus was to get out of this place and get to safety.

“C’mon,” you nodded your head toward the other metal door that you assumed would lead to the exit, “let’s keep going.”

As Seungcheol went for the door, you and your friends heard banging. You all paused, Seungcheol’s hand on the handle. You listened for the banging again, and then looked to where it seemed to be coming from.

“Guys?” Joshua’s voice called from behind the small wooden door. “Guys?! Oh my god, guys! C-can you hear me? Hello?! Help me!”

“Josh?” Jeonghan took a step toward the door.

[TO HELP JOSHUA GO TO 21 -- A]

[TO CONTINUE TO THE EXIT GO TO 21 -- B]

»»————-　　————-««

21 -- A

“Joshua!” you cried as you ran to the small door.

You knew what your eyes saw, but was it possible none of it was real? How else would you be hearing Joshua’s voice? He must’ve been alive somehow. Anything seemed possible at this point.

You got down on your knees, opened the small door, and crawled your way through. You stood up as your friends tried to get in behind you, but what you saw made your heart fall into your stomach as your hands went to cover your mouth, muffling the loud sob that came out.

Joshua’s body was slumped against the left wall, looking just as you had remembered.

He was still dead.

Your friends had similar reactions to you. Seokmin even threw up.

Seungcheol shook his head slowly, eyes full of tears while some streaked his cheeks, “We... W-we have to bring his body...”

“He’s right,” Jihoon said solemnly -- his body seemed to be shutting down now, almost uncapable of processing his emotions. “We need evidence of what happened tonight. Nobody will believe us otherwise.”

“I-I hate to say it, b-but...it’ll s-slow us down, though,” Wonwoo interjected through his sniffles. “What if we don’t make it out?”

[TO TAKE JOSHUA’S BODY WITH YOU GO TO 22 -- A]

[TO LEAVE WITHOUT JOSHUA’S BODY GO TO 22 -- B]

»»————-　　————-««

21 -- B

You quickly reached out and grabbed Jeonghan to keep him from going any closer to that door. He turned to look at you, a pained expression on his face.

“Jeonghan, that’s not Joshua,” you told him. “You saw what happened to him. Whatever it is, it’s not him.”

“I think _____’s right,” Wonwoo nodded. “We need to keep going.”

You kept your hold on Jeonghan as all of your began filing out of the mascot room into another narrow corridor like the other one. This one, though, had a sharp right turn before leading down a while to another steel door.

But this door didn’t budge.

Soonyoung was at the head of the group, and he groaned in frustration as he tugged at the handle over and over again, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me; what’s with these doors?!”

You started to hear a thumping. It slowly got louder and louder...

...Or maybe it was closer and closer.

Junhui walked down the way you’d come and poked his head around the corner, his eyes widening at what he saw. He whipped his head back around and booked it straight back to where your group was trying to open the door, calling, “You might wanna hurry up on that door!”

Coming down the hall were all four animatronics, their eyes lit up as they stomped closer and closer.

“It’s not doing anything!” Soonyoung huffed, trying with all his might to open the door. “Mingyu, get up here!”

Mingyu squeezed between bodies to get to the door, trying to open it as the group just shouted for him to be faster.

“We might have to just...face these things,” Chan said. “Once and for all.”

“Yeah? How?” Wonwoo scoffed. “They’ll crush us in seconds.”

“There’s fou-- thirteen of us, and four of them. We might have a shot.”

“Well hurry up and decide so we can at least put the strongest up against them first,” Junhui called.

[TO FACE THE ANIMATRONICS WHILE MINGYU KEEPS WORKING AT THE DOOR GO TO 23 -- A]

[TO FACE THE ANIMATRONICS TOGETHER GO TO 23 -- B]

[TO KEEP TRYING THE DOOR GO TO 23 -- C]

»»————-　　————-««

22 -- A

“We can’t just leave him here,” you stated. “Not only for the evidence, but because he doesn’t deserve to rot away here. His family doesn’t deserve to wonder what happened to him.”

“I’ll grab him,” Seungcheol offered, swallowing his fears and stepping forward to scoop up his friend. “Let’s get him home.”

Chan was the last into the tiny room, so he turned to go. But the wooden door was suddenly closed and wouldn’t open back up.

“What the hell?!” he grunted as he continued to try the door.

“Why’d you let it close, dumbass?!” Jeonghan demanded.

“I didn’t!” Chan shouted back. “It was just open!”

“Ugh, leave it to the fucking baby to--”

“G-guys?” Seokmin asked.

“Can you get off my fucking case?!” Chan huffed as he stood up and went to stand toe-to-toe with Jeonghan. “You’re always such a fucking asshole to me! Why can’t you--”

“Guys?” Seokmin tried again, looking between the left and right walls.

“Are you two really going to argue right now?” Jihoon groaned. “We’re literally--”

“Guys!” Seokmin finally shouted over everyone. “The walls!”

“What about the--”

Jihoon’s question died down as soon as all of you began looking at the walls. They were moving in toward each other, which would crush all of you between them.

Everyone was suddenly in a panic. Everyone was throwing themselves at the door, trying to tug it open before the walls could do anything. Some of you -- such as you and Wonwoo -- decided to spread out so you had more room. But some -- like Jeonghan and Chan, who grouped up by the door with a few others -- created a big human-lump that would be crushed faster. You heard their cries and pleas before they were crushed to death with a sound you couldn’t get out of your ears.

It was only a moment later you met the same fate.

[GO TO ENDING B]

»»————-　　————-««

22 -- B

"Nobody wants to be the asshole that says it’s better to leave him behind, but...” you trailed off.

Wonwoo was right. Joshua would more than likely slow you down. Besides, you knew Josh would want all of you to have the best chance of getting out alive as possible.

“Th-then you go ahead,” Seokmin spoke up, almost like he was afraid to.

“What?” Jihoon asked.

“I...” Seokmin looked at Joshua as more tears welled in his eyes. “It makes me sad to think he’d just be down here alone. I don’t care if he’s...gone. He can’t just stay down here.”

“I’m not leaving my best friend down here,” Jeonghan agreed.

“Seokmin, he’s--”

“Look, just go,” Hansol interrupted whatever Jihoon was going to say. “I’ll help them with the body. You guys just go on ahead.”

Minus the three who wanted to collect Joshua’s body, the group turned and left the small room and went back to the mascot room. Soonyoung tugged on the metal door and led the way down another corridor that looked exactly the same as the one that had led into the mascot room. This one, though, had a sharp right turn before leading down a while to another steel door.

But as you were walking down the hallway, you heard the yells and screams of your three friends. All of you turned on a dime and ran back toward the mascot room but the metal door was already closed and wouldn’t re-open for some reason. All of you were yelling and trying to open the door until you heard a sickening crunch, and then silence.

You all fell silent. You didn’t know what to do now.

“We--” Jihoon’s voice cracked so he cleared his throat. “We should just...keep going...”

Following behind Jihoon, you all turned one by one and went back down the hallway. You turned the corner and walked down that long hallway toward another metal door.

But this door didn’t budge.

Jihoon groaned in frustration as he tugged at the handle over and over again, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me; what’s with these doors?!”

You started to hear a thumping. It slowly got louder and louder...

...Or maybe it was closer and closer.

Coming down the hall were all four animatronics, their eyes lit up as they stomped closer and closer.

“It’s not doing anything!” Soonyoung huffed, trying with all his might to open the door. “Mingyu, get up here!”

Mingyu squeezed between bodies to get to the door, trying to open it as the group just shouted for him to be faster.

“We might have to just...face these things,” Chan said. “Once and for all.”

“Yeah? How?” Wonwoo scoffed. “They’ll crush us in seconds.”

“There’s fou-- nine of us, and four of them. We might have a shot.”

“Well hurry up and decide so we can at least put the strongest up against them first,” Junhui called.

[TO FACE THE ANIMATRONICS WHILE MINGYU KEEPS WORKING AT THE DOOR GO TO 23 -- A]

[TO FACE THE ANIMATRONICS TOGETHER GO TO 23 -- B]

[TO KEEP TRYING THE DOOR GO TO 23 -- C]

»»————-　　————-««

23 -- A

“Mingyu, keep trying the door!” you called to him. “We’ll try to hold them back.”

“We?!” Seungkwan repeated.

Mingyu continued to try to pull the door open as the animatronics slowly turned the corner and began walking toward the nine of you. You weren’t sure how to prepare yourself for this at all, but you knew you couldn’t just turn your back and die.

But you should’ve known what would happen. Four giant machines up against eight fleshy humans who were nowhere near as strong. Sure, all of you were faster than them, but how could you dodge or run in such a narrow hallway? You were doomed from the start.

Well, not you specifically.

Seungcheol had shoved you to the back toward Mingyu, promising to keep you safe. So your friends all died in front of you, and all you could do was stand there and watch in horror.

That’s when Bongbong closed in on you.

“I got the--!”

Mingyu’s exclamation of finally getting the door open was cut off by Bongbong’s arm swinging out and clotheslining him into the wall and cutting off his oxygen.

The attack that was meant for you, but you had ducked underneath.

The light flooded into the corridor, and just like that, the animatronics just shut down. The light turned off in their eyes, and they were frozen with their hands reaching out for you.

Except Bongbong’s arm that was now frozen in place, keeping Mingyu strangled against the wall.

You could hear Mingyu gasping for air as you slowly opened your eyes that you’d squeezed shut when you ducked. You looked up and saw the animatronics were lifeless now, and then you shot up and turned to try to help Mingyu. You pulled and pulled on Bongbong’s arm while you had to watch Mingyu slowly die. It was like watching a movie in slow motion, the way his body went limp and the life drained from his eyes. Still, you stood there and sobbed and told him you’d free him as you continued to pull uselessly at the animatronic.

When it finally set in that you didn’t stand a chance, you ran out the back parking lot where the door opened to. You ran out of the park and to your car -- which was still parked near the other 3 that belonged to your friends that were no longer with you -- and drove off toward home with tears still streaming down your face.

The clock on your car radio said 6:08am.

[GO TO ENDING A]

»»————-　　————-««

23 -- B

“The door’s useless!” you cried. “We’re not going to just turn our backs and die. That’s not how I wanna go out.”

Nobody had any faith, but they knew you were right. Laying down and dying after all of this wasn’t worth it. If you died, at least you would die fighting.

But you should’ve known what would happen. Four giant machines up against nine fleshy humans who were nowhere near as strong. Sure, all of you were faster than them, but how could you dodge or run in such a narrow hallway? You were doomed from the start.

Seungcheol had shoved you to the back toward the door that wouldn’t open, promising to keep you safe. So your friends all died in front of you, and all you could do was stand there and watch in horror.

That’s when Bongbong closed in on you.

[GO TO ENDING B]

»»————-　　————-««

23 -- C

“The door will work!” you swore “Like the basement, remember? Just keep trying!”

Sure, this was different in the way that you had to pull and not push, but it had to give eventually, right?

You continued to face the animatronics that were now starting to close in on all of you. Seungcheol tried to squeeze in besided Mingyu, grabbing the handle and pulling with him. Jihoon crawled between Mingyu’s legs and stood in between the taller boy’s arms, both of his hands wrapped around the handle and tugging with everything he had.

You moved to put yourself in front of your friends. You got all of them into this mess, so you deserved to be the first to die.

As Bongbong closed in on you, you closed your eyes.

“_____--!”

The darkness you saw behind your eyelids suddenly seemed brighter, and you felt a gust of wind from behind you.

There was a couple seconds of silence.

“Holy shit,” Minghao breathed.

You opened one eye just enough to see Bongbong’s face just inches from yours. But...why were the lights in its eyes off?

You opened your eye wider. Then the other one. Its arm was only a hair away from you, but it made no move to actually touch you. There was also light flooding into the corridor from behind you. You whipped your head around to see the door was open, and you looked back at four animatronics. Were they off now?

“Oh my god,” you sighed in a shaky voice, taking a step backward toward the door.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Wonwoo said as he grabbed your hand and all but dragged you out the door.

The door opened to the back of the parking lot. All of you ran as fast as you could toward your cars, only stopping at the hood of the closest one to catch your breath. Seungcheol pulled out his phone.

“It’s 6am,” he reported.

“Maybe that’s why the door didn’t open,” Wonwoo panted, hands on his knees.

“I don’t care to speculate,” Jihoon said as he went to get into one of the four cars. “Take me the fuck home.”

[GO TO ENDING C]

»»————-　　————-««

ENDING A

You weren’t sure what to do about the texts from the group chat when you got home. You swore everyone was dead. You watched them die in front of you.

Soonyoung said he was tripping balls the whole night.

Jeonghan agreed, saying he was sure there was something in the air making them hallucinate.

Even Jihoon was saying something weird had happened that night, because he thought he saw everyone die.

So...maybe they were right?

But when you inevitably went to school Halloween day, something didn’t seem right. Maybe it was because you hadn’t slept all night and you were drained in every sense, or maybe it was because you were convinced all of your friends had died right before your very eyes, but everything felt...off. At least, your friends did. It was their smiles and their voices and their hugs and laughs and promises that everything was fine, but something about it seemed alien to you.

Maybe it was from how emotionally and mentally drained you were, and the fact you didn’t get any sleep, but you swore there was an odd glow to their eyes that wasn’t just the glimmer of the florescents.

And why did Junhui wink at you?

[YOU AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS ESCAPED FROM CARATLAND...OR DID THEY?]

»»————-　　————-««

ENDING B

Get dressed.

Brush your teeth.

Brush your hair.

Go downstairs and converse with your parents.

Drive to school.

Say hello to your friends.

Laugh at what Soonyoung said.

Promise to walk to class with Seokmin and Seungcheol after you go to the bathroom.

Go into the bathroom.

Use the mirror to fix your outfit.

Use your fingers to brush through your hair one more time.

A light reflects off the mirror.

You are the only one in the bathroom.

[NONE OF YOU ESCAPED FROM CARATLAND BUT SOMETHING ELSE DID]

»»————-　　————-««

ENDING C

(NOTE: i know some people might’ve only had josh die while other had more people die. so this part will mention multiple people who didn’t make it home but i will only mention josh by name. sorry if it seems kind of confusing)

You didn’t even want to go back home after everything that happened. But you needed to shower and change, so you dropped your friends off before going home. After getting out of the shower, you checked your phone. Your heart dropped and your stomach was doing flips at what it saw.

One series of texts was from a group chat that was all of the people you were positive made it home from Caratland. All of them were wondering what the fuck was going on.

The other was the original group chat, with a text from Joshua asking if everyone made it home okay. It made a shiver go down your spine. How could he be texting? He died.

Those that had died started having a conversation about hallucinating, insisting something weird must’ve been in the air to make everyone trip and see things that didn’t actually happen. Nobody knew if it was possible. Minghao suggested that at this point, anything was possible. But still, why did all of you have the same hallucination?

The group decided it was best to ignore the message.

When Wonwoo offered to give you a ride to school, you said yes.

The two of you walked to homeroom together and saw the usual group of your friends sitting at the left side of the classroom. But seeing the friends you thought had died now just sitting there like nothing happened made your skin crawl. You wanted to turn around and walk out.

Wonwoo squeezed your hand and continued forward.

You sat and chatted with the group, and everyone seemed to be dancing around the fact that things were...weird. Maybe it was because you hadn’t slept all night and you were drained in every sense, or maybe it was because you were convinced all of your friends had died right before your very eyes, but everything felt...off. At least, your friends did. It was their smiles and their voices and their hugs and laughs and promises that everything was fine, but something about it seemed alien to you.

And why did Joshua wink at you?

[YOU AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS ESCAPED FROM CARATLAND...OR DID THEY?]

#seventeen #seventeen au #seventeen imagine #seventeen scenario #seventeen fanfic #seventeen series #seventeen x reader #seventeen text au #seventeen horror au #seventeen halloween au #seventeen aus #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fanfics #seventeen text aus #seventeen horror aus #seventeen halloween aus

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binniedeactivated · 3 years

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𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 ↺ || 𝐡.𝐤.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | 𝐡𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐤𝐚𝐢 𝐱 𝐦𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐝!𝐩𝐨𝐜 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐚𝐮 , "𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫" 𝐚𝐮.

𝐖/𝐂 | 15.389k

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 | (𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞 "𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫") 𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞'𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭. 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬, 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 ��𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐞𝐥, 𝐡𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐤𝐚𝐢.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬.

a/n; i miss making legit fics for yall ;(((((( and I feel bad because I haven’t been writing as much as I should I’m so so sorry <3

“so what are you? sophomore? freshman?”. bria asks, stuffing her foot into her platformed converse. gabrielle nods, folding a shirt and inserting it into her drawer. “wow I wasn’t expecting them to give me a freshman for a roommate”. she scoffs kind of smug. “is that a problem?”. gabrielle speaks up, pushing a puffy curly strand of hair over to the other side of her head. bria only grinned and shook her head no. “nah. that just means I have a lot to teach you”.

“teach me?”.

“yeah”, bria agrees, in the mirror coating her lips with gloss. bria was a dark skinned five foot eight beauty. if gabrielle didn’t know any better she’d mistake her for a model almost. she had gorgeous curly afro hair, similar to that of a lion’s mane. gabrielle hadn’t saw much of her wardrobe yet but just by the edgy outfit she was already wearing she could tell that her style was to die for. her lips were thick and full and complimented her cat-like eyes well. gabrielle thought maybe she could pick up a few tips from her, especially with makeup. it was so perfect she could feel herself shrinking into her own insecurities. she thought she was pretty decent looking but no where near bria's level. gabrielle herself had honey brown skin, big brown curly hair with lots of volume. heart shaped lips. large brown wistful eyes with clear glasses frames worn over them. she was sort of chubby. her physique wasn't something she saw as a win in her eyes. her chest was average sized and her ass was there yet barely visible. and her waist definitely wasn't as snatched as bria's. but still, if she was going to be in college amongst those who looked different from her she had to try and gain some type of confidence about herself.

“what is there to teach me?”.

bria scoffs again, screwing the cap back onto her gloss. “you don’t want to know what it’s like to live the life here? trust me girl I’m almost a senior I can teach you a few things”.

“like what? if you’re talking about partying and all that I’m going to have to pass. I just got here and I don’t want to be running into trouble”.

“girl how is partying going to get you in trouble? you’re grown now. you don’t have you parents watching over you anymore. you can be free and do what you want to do”.

gabrielle grabs another shirt. “yeah but suppose one of ya’ll do some illegal shit? and then what? I can’t tell the cops that I wasn’t involved because I’m just a freshman. I’m going to jail right with ya’ll”.

bria tilts her head back and laughs. “you’re a trip if you think we ever do illegal shit and get caught”.

gabrielle shuts her drawer, moving another box across the room to her desk. “yeah well, I don’t want to be involved anyway. even the risk is too much. plus I don’t know how my boyfriend is going to feel about me out partying with other guys and shit”.

bria made a tsk noise with her lips prior to walking to her closet for her collection of purses. “you really came to college with a boyfriend? just how dumb are you?”.

“what? what’s wrong with having a boyfriend?”.

“girl do I even have to ask? look at you. you’re already uptight. you don’t want to party, you’re worried about what he might think. he already has you right where he wants you. living a boring life like him”.

gabrielle shifts her weight on her feet. “he doesn’t--live a boring life. he’s just protective”.

“tsk. that’s what he told you?”.

“well yeah--”.

“how old is your little boyfriend?”.

“he’s seventeen”.

bria tilts her head back and does that laugh again. the one that made gabrielle seem out out of place. mostly because she didn’t know what was funny to begin with. “yeah he’s young he’s still a senior in high school so what?”. she quickly defends.

“girl that ain’t gonna work. you’re in college you have to level up”.

“my boyfriend is fine. he’s all the leveling up I need”.

“mhm. we’ll see about that. anyways, I’m going to my girlfriend’s suite later you should come”.

“suite?”.

bria rolls her eyes. “girl relax we’re not going to be doing anything illegal. just chilling. maybe a little drinking or smoking but--i wouldn’t call that illegal”.

“drinking and smoking? I’ll pass”.

“you don’t have to do it. you’re acting like there’s going to be people there forcing you. it’s going to be her friends and a little bit of mine. if you want to make some lit friends quickly then I suggest you come so you can get yourself out there a little”.

“don’t worry. I can make friends in my classes”.

“aren’t you a biology major?”.

“yeah”.

“then you definitely need to come. or else you’re going to be playing battle of the nerds these next four years”.

gabrielle rolls her eyes, “what’s your major anyways?”.

“fashion design”.

gabrielle nods her head in response. that made a whole lot of sense.

“so? gabby? you coming or what because if so I want to see what you’re wearing”.

“it’s just a suite gathering right? I’m not trying to wear nothing special. probably like a sweater, some ripped jeans and sneakers”.

“pft ‘gathering’. you are so proper. outfit sounds cute but don’t you want to wear something a little revealing? you need to get a new man”.

gabrielle rolls her eyes. “like i said before I’m happy with the guy I have. and no I don’t want to wear anything revealing, have these guys out here thinking that they’re going to get a chance to fuck me”.

“and what’s wrong with that?”.

“everything”.

“whatever. I’ll be back to come grab you later. be ready.”. bria prompts before swinging a bag over her shoulder and leaving the room. gabrielle rolls her eyes. she continues organizing the knick knacks on her desk, most importantly the picture of her and her boyfriend. she missed him dearly and with her college being two hours away from home she didn’t know what she was going to do away from him from so long. texting and facetiming helped but there was nothing like being around him. she huffs her breath though, trying to push the thought to the back of her mind until she was ready to think of it again.

when she started getting dressed she was thinking more and more about what bria was saying. she wanted to look like herself but she still wanted to look cute because at the end of the day, she didn’t know bria or her girlfriend’s friends. this would be their first impression of her so she wanted to make it count. she pulls a scrunchie through her ponytail in a half up half down hairstyle and throws on a couple of hand rings and necklaces to go along with her outfit. she wasn’t too keen on makeup but she did apply winged eyeliner and a bit of lipstick just to keep herself from looking too plain. she looked over at herself in the mirror almost one hundred times, posing so she could see herself from different angles. she wondered if she really looked as good as she thought she did.

“girl you ready--ou okay! so you want to get a new man tonight after all?”. bria says while barging in, scaring the hell out of gabrielle. “damn can you stop screaming? no I don’t want a new man. I just want to look nice”. bria smirks. “whatever. if we don’t leave now we’re going to get there hella late so let’s go”.gabrielle nods and takes her phone off it’s charger. it was getting kind of dark outside but she could already hearing laughing and playing inside the quads of campus. she figured night time was only the beginning of all the fun.

“so? how is it here for real?”. gabrielle asked while they were walking, bria held her phone in her face preparing to take a selfie. “it’s actually not that bad. it’s just like every other college. has it’s pros and cons but at the end of the day, it depends on who you know. as long as you surround yourself with lit people you’ll have a good time”. gabrielle nods. she wanted to surround herself with those kind of people but she needed to focus on her studies. in high school she wasn’t in the mix too much. so she didn’t really know how she was going to function being around them in college. for the most part she had good control over herself, so she wasn’t worried.

when bria said suite, gabrielle wasn’t taking it quite literal. she hadn’t known the seniors practically had two floor suites together. gabrielle had never felt the sudden urge to rush and be a senior in her life. the living room was full with a bunch of people which automatically gave gabrielle anxiety. bria kisses her girlfriend on the lips before intertwining her fingers with hers. “babe this is my roommate gabby. gabby this is my girlfriend diamond”. gabrielle gave her a shy greeting trying to figure out if everyone bria knew looked just as good as she did. diamond was also a fair-skinned doll. “she’s a freshman I’m trying to make her make some friends”. bria comments. “they roomed you with a freshman?”. diamond asks. “right? that’s what I thought. but don’t worry she’s gonna be lit soon”. gabrielle rolls her eyes and scans around the room. there were people in the living room and kitchen it seemed. there was music playing and some of them was drinking and/or smoking and some weren’t which gabrielle liked.

when scanning though she wasn’t expecting her eyes to land on a certain someone, or rather, a certain someone’s eyes to be landed on her. his hair was black and long down the nape of his neck and over his eyes a bit. he wore a black hoodie, black jeans and sneakers. his overall aesthetic was dark gabrielle noticed, he also had a couple of finger nails painted black and a large cuban linked necklace peeking from his hoodie collar. his lips were pink and supple and his eyes were deep set and light brown, boring into hers. needless to say gabrielle thought he was the most gorgeous thing she’s ever laid her eyes on. she looks away to avoid his gaze and he smirks in response.

bria went around introducing her to everyone before going elsewhere with diamond. it kind of scared gabrielle because now she was forced to fiend for herself. everyone seemed considerably chill though and welcoming, offering her blunts and drinks to which she kindly declined. they didn’t seem to care, instead talked to her about other things like asking her her major and telling her how pretty she was. and every so often she’d try to join in the conversation to stay on her toes. she thought college gatherings would be much more crazier than this, maybe some project X party type of scene. she was shocked to see how cool they actually were, and how easily she clicked with them. things didn’t start getting a little wilder until later when a bunch of them gathered in the middle of the floor to play a drunk spin the bottle game. something gabrielle declined also, well, her and others. specifically that guy that was staring at her earlier, whom was leaning on the wall talking to some of his friends. his eyes broke away from them and fled to her every so often, admiring how pretty she was. and if anyone knew heuning kai, which everyone had, they knew that girls like gabrielle were the type of girls he aimed for.

“I take it that you don’t drink or party often?”. he spoke lightly, making gabrielle almost freeze in place. his voice was smoother than she imagined it. subtle, yet serious. “um--yeah it’s not really my thing”. she assures nervously, wanting more than anything to detach from his eyes but he was leaning on the kitchen counter near her and he had this addictive gaze that she couldn’t get enough of. not to mention he was six feet even, tall enough to be quite intimidating over her five foot five frame. “what’s your name?”. he smirked a little at her nervous fidgeting. “gabrielle”. he nods. “hm. gabrielle. you pretty. you know that?”. he took a quick sip of his drink and it was there where she noticed the silver rings around his fingers. why the hell was he so attractive?

“thank you”.

“i don’t really do all of this either. maybe we can chill somewhere together”.

gabrielle scoffs. “no, I’m fine. I know what guys mean when they say they want to chill. and I’m not that type of girl”.

“I’m not the type of guy to beat around the bush. if i wanted something from you I would’ve just said it. but”, he shrugs. “I want to hang with you. and if you don’t want to that’s fine”.

she bit the inside of her cheeks thinking, which was a bad move because by the the time she conjured up an answer he already walked off, leaving her feeling kind of stupid and the scene ate at her for days. she kept thinking of other answers she could’ve given him to make her seem less rude. he probably hated her now and thought she was uptight. one thing’s for sure she wasn’t going to tell bria about this just to avoid the teasing and taunting about it all. but gabrielle couldn’t help herself. she found herself wanting heuning kai’s attention. she wanted to be the girl that he desired. and ever since that night it seemed as if she saw him everywhere.

“he’s so fucking cute--”. her seatmate mutters in philosophy, gabrielle was too busy doodling on the edge of her notebook sheet to pay attention. “who?”. she asked without even looking up. “him”.

she shifts her attention away from her paper and captures a sight of kai. his hair was parted over his eyes this time and he wore a white turtleneck underneath a black ripped jean jacket. he still had different fingernails of his painted black, and a thin silver necklace wrapped tightly around his neck. gabrielle watched as his hair sifted every time he walked. he was the type of gorgeous where every time you saw him it was like everything was happening in slow motion. he had the fair share of girls surround him and his guy friends who encouraged him to sit by them. while he was on his way to his seat his eyes locked with gabrielle’s for a swift moment. her heart raced. her seatmate tapped her vigorously. “girl! who was he looking at?! was he looking at you?”. she whispered excitedly. the professor arrives and sits his bag down on the desk in front of the class. “I don’t know”.

“I’m assuming you’re all coming to class with a fresh memory of the reading from last night”, professor witman started, “I want you to take out your notebooks, laptops, phones or whatever you use to take your notes on and I want to ask you this, would you rather be a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond? and why?”. he takes a piece of chalk and scrawls the letters on the blackboard. “I want you to be really thinking about this”. almost instantly gabrielle could see everyone writing or typing away. but she was too deep in thought. about the question, and about heuning kai. he stared at her like that frequently and she never knew what it meant. or how she could reproach him. she was far too intimidated to. maybe he would’ve shrugged her off. maybe he would’ve just flat out ignored her. he had enough clout and divine looks to deny anyone and still have a line of people waiting to date him. gabrielle just wanted to smack herself. what the hell was she doing thinking about him? she had a boyfriend back home. a boyfriend whose been loving her for almost two years now.

“heuning kai. share your thoughts”. professor witman directed. and like always, but much more literal now, all eyes were on the attractive tall boy at the back of the lecture hall.

“the way I see it it’s kind of like a double edged sword”, he talked with his hands and with certainty, “if you’re a big fish in a small pond you’re among the privileged. you have life going for yourself. you do the best at everything, you’re at the top of everyone’s list, you cross every t and dot every I. life is good. but at the end of the day it’s just because you’re in a small pond. outside of that pond you’re just a normal fish like everyone else. however if you’re a small fish in a big pond you’re hidden. no one really notices you, everyone looks over your intelligence, talents , and wit. there’s going to be people miles ahead of you and people miles behind you. but in this big pond there are big fish that you can learn from and help you overall grow as a person. so even though you’re a small, you’re gradually improving yourself. you’ve made mistakes and you harness them to your advantage. so yeah”, he continues. “I’d rather be a small fish”. all eyes rested back on the professor who nods his head in agreement. quite impressed with his answer.

“well said heuning. well said”.

he began calling on others but gabrielle kept her mind fixated on kai. there was no way he was attractive and smart at once. she never heard of that before. attractive and rebellious yes. attractive with horrible grades yes. but she never came across someone like kai before. she was intrigued.

"cute right? I think I'm going to ask him out". gabrielle heard a voice beside her while she was walking out of class. the sudden voice startled her a little, she wasn't expecting to be interrupted by anyone especially when she was staring at the boy for what it felt like the umpteenth time. she quickly tried to act like she was looking for someone. "ask who out?". gabrielle asks. the girl nudges her, directing her attention to the infamous rebel at the end of the hallway, talking and joking around with some of his boys. "kai", she nods with certainty, "I think I'm going to ask him to go out with me this weekend or something. then again I probably shouldn't have told you that. you probably were planning on doing the same thing". gabrielle quickly shakes her head no. "I wasn't actually I was trying to figure out which way to go for my next class". the girl curled her lips into a dubious grin of disbelief. "yeah right. you're telling me you're not attracted to heuning kai at all?". gabrielle pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "I never said that it's just I wasn't planning on asking him out or anything". the girl hummed. "yeah well don't tell anyone that I'm planning on doing that. I already know everyone else is going to try to rush to do it before I do". gabrielle fiddled with the corners of her notebook pages. "yeah no problem". and with that they parted ways. the girl went to meet him at the end of the hallway and gabrielle walked past them both, trying to process the fact that kai took a quick look in her eyes before he looked at the girl in front of him.

within a few weeks her newfound friend from her biology class observed her well. especially while they were walking in the quads. it seemed as if gabrielle couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. all the while he kept his attention elsewhere, either horsing around with his friends or talking to them.

“don’t tell me you’re falling for him too”. michelle insinuates.

“too?”,

“heuning kai has enough girls swooning over him that they all could probably wrap around this campus”.

“look at him. you don’t think it makes sense?”.

“well yeah it makes a whole lot of sense but you don’t want to get caught up with him. i heard he’s trouble“.

“what kind of trouble?”.

“trouble. why are you worried? i thought you had a boyfriend anyways”.

“I do but for some reason I just-- I can’t help who I’m attracted to”.

“well you need to. he’s no good”.

gabrielle exhales, listening. yet her eyes peered up at the boy anyways. what a mistake that was. she caught him doing the same thing. no smirk, no smile or anything. just a stare that captivated her enough to where the rest of the world blurred around her. she took heed to michelle’s advice for a couple of days, where she only focused on her school work and seeing what her boyfriend was up to back home. he was doing well and from the looks of his snapchat and instagram stories it seemed that he was having some fun of his own. he too was partying and hanging with friends also. it only made gabrielle think about the other possibilities. how was she so sure that he wasn’t with some other girl? or took interest in someone else? everything was so unclear while she was far away. she never took her boyfriend to be the cheating type. but the both of them were living in two separate worlds now. in his world he was still trapped in his high school lifestyle. but in hers, becoming appealing to heuning kai was all she could think about. and she hated it.

she drains the water out of her hair and fluffs it, throwing a bathrobe on to go to her room and study. she hoped bria wasn’t there because she really needed some alone time to collect her thoughts for a while. and let’s just say bria wasn’t the quietest person to study around. she twists the doorknob of the room and jumped back with shock, dropping her toiletries and clothes right in front of the door. it was heuning kai, relaxing on bria’s bed scrolling through his phone as if he belonged there. once his eyes laid on gabrielle’s he covers them with a hand and turns the opposite direction.

“heuning kai! what are you doing in here?”. “bria told me to meet her in here so she could give me the homework that’s due tomorrow. I’m not trying to be a pervert”. gabrielle squats to pick up her belongings, placing her clothes in her hamper and toiletries on her shelf. her heart was pounding through her ears almost but she tried her best to keep calm.

“well, she should’ve told me that. she didn’t tell you she had a roommate?”.

“well it’s common sense that she has a roommate but she made it seem as though you weren’t going to be here”. he says, speaking to the wall. gabrielle folds her arms.

“you know you can uncover your eyes. I’m not naked”. slowly but surely he reveals them, sliding his hand down his face until it was on his lap. their eyes met again, the same heart wrenching stare that they always gave each other at a distance. the one that made gabrielle just want to pass out right then and there. “why do you always do that?”. she mutters breaking the silence between them. “do what?”.

“stare at me. why do you always stare at me like that?”. she swallows nervously, afraid of the answer. “why do you always stare at me like that?”. he replies. she swallows again searching her mind for a response. how the hell does one tell someone that they stare at them because they want to be noticed without sounding too desperate? she didn’t want to sound that way. even though to an extent, she was.

she turns on her heels to place her phone on the charger, figuring maybe if she avoided his gaze she’d be able to think of something. kai licks his lips before he speaks again. “I like looking at pretty things”. by now her hands were practically shaking. she could’ve sworn he hated her by now. “what’s the matter with just telling someone that you think they’re pretty? you don’t think you’re going to look like a creep by just staring at them?”. kai shakes his head no. “whose to say I stare at everyone?”. she reaches into her drawer to grab some pajamas. she couldn’t believe she was even talking to him. “i thought you hated me”. she mutters. “why would I hate you?”. ,

“that night at diamond’s place. you walked off before I could even give you an answer”. kai thinks for a moment. “you made an assumption about me and brushed me off. and I’m not interested in courting girls who don’t want to be courted. so I left you alone”. “whose to say that I didn’t want to be courted?”. she blurted without even thinking. shit. she probably sounded desperate as hell right about now. “so tell me. what’s it going to be? because I’d love to take a pretty girl out on a date tomorrow night”. gabrielle played with her fingernails wanting to pinch herself. or run maybe. either way the question made her just want to curl into a ball and hide. “tell me who the pretty girl is and maybe she’ll provide an answer”. she shortly replies. kai laughs a little. “the pretty girl is you. go on a date with me”.

“mm - how do I know you’re not some serial killer or something?”. kai laughs again and god, how her heart fluttered at his laugh. “wouldn’t I have killed you already? we’ve been in the room alone for almost ten minutes now”. she nods and giggles soon after. “makes sense”.

“so yeah I have a car, maybe you can meet me at the side building tomorrow night? we don’t have to go anywhere far. downtown maybe”. gabrielle shrugs through the fact that she was practically dying inside. “that’s fine. does seven work?”. kai smiles a little. “seven is perfect”.

“damn kai how long you been waiting in here?”. bria marches in, more than late for the time she arranged with him. “since the time you gave me. by the time I turn this assignment in it’s going to be overdue”. bria playfully slaps him on the shoulder before sliding the homework sheet for him to copy out her folder. he laughs and rubs the spot in pain, “thank you mean ass”. she shoos her hand. “yeah whatever. get out my room I’m tired. did you say hi to my roommate on your way in?”. kai continues sliding his jean jacket over his arms before getting up to walk towards the door. he rolls his eyes. “yes I said hi. didn’t i say hi gabrielle?“. he smirks. she tried her best not to smile too hard. “yeah he did. get out like she said though. I’m tired too”. kai laughs and grabs the doorknob, “fine, I’m out”. bria was flipping him off but halfway between him closing the door he gave gabrielle a little smile that made her heart warm, almost as if to say “don’t forget about tomorrow night”.

which gabrielle hadn’t. hell, she straightened her hair hours prior just to prepare. she was happy that bria was out for almost the whole day, leaving her to get ready in peace. she wasn’t quite sure what to wear but she wanted to be comfortable. so instead of wearing a skirt or halter top she settled on a stylish oversized t shirt look with baggy pants and sneakers. and to be a little more girly, she grabbed a small purse. it was weird you know, just leaving her dorm and not having anyone to report to. not having to tell her mother or father that she was going out. not having to explain that she was going out with a boy and not them not having to meet him. it kind of felt nice and it was kind of freeing. she exhales deeply while walking to his car. he was parked where he said he was, in a car that was pretty gorgeous might she add. out of her dorm and now into the passenger seat of his car was an unbelievable feeling. that’s for sure. “you look pretty”. he compliments with a toothy smile that gabrielle couldn’t stop looking at. her cheeks flush deeply. “thank you. heuning”. he laughs at the name and shifts gears preparing to drive. “heuning”. he repeated. “just call me kai”.

“what if i like the sound of heuning?”. he laughs again. “no one does. but, if you do I wouldn’t mind you calling me that. it sounds cute coming from you”. she exhales for the umpteenth time, “please, with the flirting”. she smiles. he was truly killing her on the inside. “where are we going?”.

“shouldn’t that be a surprise? it will ruin the whole date if I told you”.

“how would it ruin the whole date? what if i want to prepare myself?”.

“you will. once we arrive”. she giggles and settles for his answer although she really wanted to know. cutting through her thoughts though was her boyfriend sending her multiple text messages at once. explaining to her how his day went and asking her how was hers. but while on a date he was the last thing she wanted to think about so she switched her phone to silent mode and shoved it back into her purse. “whose that? your boyfriend?”. kai jokes. she sat there with a frozen expression for a while until kai elbows her a little. “it’s just a joke relax”. he laughs. she tries her best to laugh through it when it really kind of scared her. she hadn’t planned on telling him a thing. especially since she really wasn’t obligated to. it wasn’t like heuning was her boyfriend anyways.

out of all places to take her an ice skating rink wasn’t on that checklist. she had no type of coordination, nevertheless skating in a rink full of pros. “have you ever been ice skating before?”. kai asks while slipping the money to the box office worker to pay for their tickets. he gives her a small thank you once she exchanged them. gabrielle shivers a bit, she forgot how cold the rink could be. maybe she shouldn’t have left her jacket in the car. “I have. i wouldn’t say I’m good though”. once their skates were all tied up kai slips his jean jacket off his arms and positions it behind her. “here put this on. you have to be warm when you skate don’t you?”. she shakes her head, “no it’s alright I got it. I think I’ll be fine”. he chuckles. “just put it on. I don’t want you getting a frostbite in here trying to be modest”. she finally gives in allowing him to slide her arms inside of it. it was much more oversized on her and warmer than any jacket she had in her closet. kai eyes the way the sleeves slip past the tips of her fingers, he thought it looked adorable on her.

stepping onto the ice was a brutal nightmare for her. she had no balance and hasn’t been ice skating in almost four years. before she could slip and fall to the ice in embarrassment kai catches her fall and lifts her back to her feet. “baby steps love. do you want to hold my hand maybe?”. her heart sank at the sound of his voice being so overwhelming when he was much closer to her. and as nervous as she was the last thing she wanted to do was fall. so she obliged. she clutched his hand and took glides with him, trying to get the hang of it but it was obvious that she was only surviving because of him. well kind of surviving. once a little boy zoomed past her it went downhill from there. she immediately lost balance and plopped right down on the ice on her butt. “this shit is embarrassing”. she shamefully admits and kai smiles. he squats down to her level and lifts her to her feet again. “it’s alright you just have to try harder. do you want to hold my hand again coldbutt?”. kai chuckles and holds his hand out for her to grab. she rolls her eyes pretending to be annoyed with him. “not if you’re going to call me that”.

“okay fine. I won’t. come here stop being a baby”.

she takes his hand again and he guides her around the circumference of the rink slowly. she had her hands in front of her just in case though, trying to brace any future falls. “see? just carefully shift your weight around. it’s not that bad”.

“for you it isn’t. I almost died a couple of times. and you laughed”.

“i wasn’t laughing at you I was laughing with you”.

“I wasn’t even laughing!”. she said aloud with a light chuckle at the end of her sentence making kai chuckle as well. “you and bria must have a grand time together with your matching attitudes”.

“oh please. she gets on my nerves sometimes. how do you even know bria anyway? aren’t you a freshman?”.

“sophomore. and I know everyone”. she scoffs. “oh yeah of course. you’re thee heuning kai“. kai hums. “why are you emphasizing my name like that?”. she shrugs. “that’s how everyone else emphasizes it”.

he swallows. “I’m not what everyone says I am”.

“I figured”.

“you figured?”. she points. “yeah look at your face. you have too much of a baby face to do anything rebellious”. kai chuckles, “what’s that saying? don’t judge a book by it’s cover?”.

“yeah. I’m just saying. why you single anyway? with all those girls after you”. kai shrugs, gripping her hand a little tighter sensing that she was drifting off and on the verge of falling again. “I don’t want them”. gabrielle makes a pft noise.

“what?”.

“you mean to tell me out of all the thousands of girls that want you, you’re taking interest in absolutely none of them?”. kai looks away for a second before looking back down at her. “I’m taking an interest in you aren’t I?”. gabrielle waddles for a second before standing straight up, trying to glide her feet again. “oh please. who said I even wanted you?”.

“why would you be on a date with someone you don’t want?”. she playfully rolls her eyes. “whatever heuning”. he glides in front of her, facing her and skating backwards, holding her hands that way. “how about we do it like this?”. he starts picking up his pace leaving her dragging with him. “wait! slow down a little”. he grins. “the only way you’re going to learn is if you take risks”. she panics. “I’m not playing you’re going to make me bust my ass on this ice”. he grins a little more and completely lets go of her hands skating circles around her making her dizzy and unstable. she tries her best to stay afloat but every time she looked up he was at another angle around her. she laughs. “stop playing! I’m going to fall“. he laughs along with her and continues his 360 circles until she put out a hand in attempt to push him out her way. he instead grabbed her wrists and leans forward so that she was dangling from his back. “come on hop up”. he coaxes, she breathed watching her breath become frost in the wintry air. "I'm too fat for that. please".

“oh shut up”. he hiked her legs up around his waist and dashed around the rink a couple more times, she had to admit it was fun riding on his back like this. more fun than she thought it would be. it was kind of like she was riding on a sleigh of some sort. she was nervous though, she hasn't really been carried by anyone before and it shocked her that heuning didn't care much about her weight. in a way she felt seen. she felt more appreciated. “heuning if we fall I’m beating your ass”. he chuckles. “why would I put you on my back if I knew there was a chance I’d drop you?”. he turns his head to the side to look over his shoulder at her features, never minding the fact that his lips were dangerously close to hers. she melted into the warmth of his eyes. they were pretty. so were his lips. so was his face. his voice was soothing and he was gentle with her. she turned her head the other direction to keep herself from becoming too flustered. “I’m hungry”. she babbles switching the subject of focus.

she begged for the bill but kai refuse to let her pay for her own food. had she known, she would've gotten something cheaper. but nevertheless the black haired boy was pooling out cash to pay for not only his own but her expensive meal as well. he clutches the tray and stuffs his wallet in his back pocket. he shoves one of his fries in his mouth heading towards the table. “are you mad at me coldbutt? I’m not letting you pay for your own food on a date. what kind of gentleman would I be”. he assures with his mouth full. she crosses her arms again pretending to be annoyed at the pet name. it was cute. she just wasn't going to admit that. “heuning i’m not afraid to fight you. you know that?”. he laughs when he sits down across from her. “so aggressive”. she grabs her slushie cup. “thank you though. you’re actually nicer than I thought you’d be”. he chews on another fry. “am I? thank you”. she carefully dips a nacho chip in it’s cheese. “so. heuning kai. if you’re not the person that people portray you to be, who are you?”. he pulls a couple of napkins out of the dispenser and wipes the excess cheese from the corner of her lips while she chewed. “that’s for gabrielle to find out isn’t it?”. he finished his sentence with a smile so bright it could've blinded her.

and yeah, i guess you could say bria was right. how dumb was gabrielle to come to college with a boyfriend. every time she had a bit of free time she was out, spending it with kai. she felt like she was in high school again, waiting for his texts and swooning over the selfies he often sent her. she thought about him in her passing time. thinking about how she gotten lucky enough to catch a guy like him. as much as she wanted to deny it she was a bit happier too. god, it felt like she was obsessing over some celebrity. she didn’t want to make love and relationships the center of her college life. she came here to study and do well after all. but she couldn’t help herself.

she scrawls down her biology notes in the cafè with michelle in between classes. she had another class in about an hour or two and she wanted to have some downtime before then. “wait--do you know how to solve this?”. she questions, feeling completely out of focus. michelle eyes her paper and slides it toward herself and nods. she plucks up a pencil so she could show her. the bell at the top of the door chimes and in walks a couple of guys laughing and goofing off with heuning kai following behind. gabrielle’s eyes were soon fixated on his and he notices of course, and gave her a soft smile. she was studying so he didn’t want to go over and bother her. michelle follows her line of sight and scoffs. “gabby are you listening?”. gabrielle nods. “I’m listening I only looked away for one second relax”. she turns her attention back to the paper for a while prior to looking up again, seeing a group of girls surround kai.

he was good looking, it was normal for that to happen. at least that’s what gabrielle was trying to convince herself. but even if she wasn’t fond of the attention he so often got, she had no place to say anything because she wasn’t kai’s girlfriend. he wasn’t required to claim her. technically, he was still on the market. and there was nothing she could do about that.

“I think it could be a good way for you to mingle”. bria spoke in front of the mirror. gabrielle was too lost in her thoughts to listen to her though and once she finally heard the last word of bria’s sentence she jumped. “huh?”. bria turned back to look at her oddly. “girl you okay? you been out of it”. gabrielle sits up and sits her textbook on her lap. “I’m fine. what were you saying?”. “I was inviting you to a party but you seem a little too out of it to come....you sure you alright?”.

“I’m fine I’m just tired. and you know I don’t do parties anyway I already told you that”. bria swings her bag over her shoulder. “well excuse me I was just trying to invite yo-”. cutting through her sentence was a knock at the door. she went to open it and there was kai, hitting her on the head with his homework binder. “bri I need the study guide answers”. she throws a hand on her hip. “when are you going to start doing your own homework? nobody got time to be feeding you sheet after sheet”. she starts going through her drawers and kai rolls his eyes while her back was turned. kai peered over at gabby who in turn was peering over at him. “here. you’re about to make me late”. she handed him the packet and he snatches it playfully giving her a soft thank you. she gives him another eye roll and grabs her phone off her bed. “I’ll be back gabby”. she scurries past kai and out the door leaving him standing there awkwardly in the middle of the room.

“so? how was your day?”. he spoke trying to break the silence. “heuning if you’re going to be into other girls while you’re ‘interested’ in me then we can just stop this”. he exhales, already knowing that was coming. “I’m not into them. I can’t help who approaches me. plus haven’t I told you that I don’t beat around the bush? if i was into someone else I’d just tell you”. he plops down at the edge of her bed. she pushes his thigh with her foot. “whatever”. she turns her body over as if she was preparing to sleep. “aw. you’re jealous?”. he teases. she kicks his thigh a little harder. “stop it heuning”. he rubs her ankles. “my pretty girl is jealous isn’t she?”. she grasps a pillow and hits him over the head with it. he chuckles and caged her body between his arms, hovering over her. she refused to look him in the eyes though. he was much too good looking this close. he twirled his finger around the coils of her hair. “gabrielle. look at me. you know you want to”. he could see the small smile twitch at the corner of her lips. “no I don’t. get out”. he cups her cheek with his hand. “you’re so pretty”. she stifled blushes from rising through her cheeks. she finally turns over with his face just inches from hers. he looked just how she imagined him to be. utterly breathtaking. “I’m sick of you”. she lies, making kai smile. he deposits a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“no you’re not. and if you are that sucks. I wanted to take you out”. she rubbed shapes into his sharp jawline with her thumbs. “hm. where did you want to take me?”. “and why would I tell you that? you’re sick of me remember?”. he teases pretending that he was going to get off of her but she only pulled him back down begging him to stay. “no wait I was just kidding! I was kidding stop”. he laughs at her pleas and takes a glimpse in her eyes. it was moments like this where he enjoyed the silence. the silence that allowed him to admire her in every way that he could. in ways that her boyfriend hadn’t. the butterflies inside her stomach were on a rampage. he leaned in not too far but just enough for her to meet him halfway. he didn’t want to just go for it if she wasn’t onboard. but she was and she meets him with hesitance, shadowing her lips over his. he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand, making the connection of their lips painfully slow. but once they touched, magic was there. electricity sparked through her veins as his lips waltzed upon hers, dissociating her from the world and taking her to another reality. a reality where she was finally living the life she always wanted to live. not being known as the smart chubby girl and finally feeling normal. finally feeling like she deserved a love story of her dreams. whenever he broke away her world shattered. but she was always grateful for him distracting her from life's troubles for that moment.

"you ready to go? love?". he questions while still caressing her.

the burger joint was loud and rowdy but that was expected among college kids. the bar was full with drunk students watching the heated sports games and yelling obnoxiously without reason. gabrielle was grateful that was here at least with kai so it wouldn't bother her much. other than the reprehensible students she enjoyed the vibe of the place. it looked like something straight out of a 90's film with the pink neon glow lights and old license plates and polaroids hanging along the walls. "this place is nice huh?". gabrielle nods across the table from him, dipping her fry in the small cup of ketchup. "yeah it is. how do you find these places on campus?". kai shrugs, taking the tomato off his burger. "when you hang out with upperclassmen they show you the hotspots. I mean other than those drunk ass students over there this place is actually nice". gabrielle laughs. she remembers something. "so? when am I going to find out about you?". kai folds his arms on the table. "you think you still don't know me?".

"no i feel like I don't", she takes a minute to swallow her food, "I think you're too perfect. what's the catch? are you crazy or something?". kai laughs at her accusations. "no I'm not crazy. this is just me. I'm really a genuine guy and I want to start something with you. perhaps a relationship if I could". she hums even though it was kind of inaudible over the roaring music. "why me? that's what really raises a red flag in my head. I remember just a couple of weeks ago, this girl from our philosophy class told me that she was going to ask you out and she told me not to tell anyone. I guess what I'm trying to say is, why not her? why not the others". kai waits until his food was chewed and swallowed before he spoke. "what is with you and these others? I told you I don't want them. and the girl you're talking about is clara. she asks everyone out if you haven't noticed. I'm surprised she hasn't asked you out yet". gabrielle laughs a bit. "I'm sorry It's just I'm not the best looking and I know that. so in my mind me and you just don't make sense". he takes a sip of his milkshake. "gabrielle stop it. you're beautiful and I'm attracted to you. you make perfect sense". her cheeks began to flush but she ignored them of course. "well riddle me this because I'm curious. what do you want out of life heuning?". he gives a half smile and adjusts his seating. "I want love".

"love?".

"yes. why are you shocked?".

"most guys want you know, to be famous. to have lots of money. a big ass mansion somewhere. sexy super model ass wife. a pitbull or two".

"that sounds nice. but is it fulfilling though?".

"well...I'd think so".

"most guys want that because they want their ego to be stroked in every aspect of their life. there's highs and lows in life but they don't want to see the low of anything. no one wants to, really. but you have to. and when you put your ego first before everything, you become nothing. while a garage full of expensive cars and a mansion on a mountain side sounds nice, those things get old. I want something that never gets old. something that's timeless. like love". gabrielle's heart flutters and she got lost in the sea of his eyes again. "so above all else, love is what you aim for?". he nods. "i want to love someone the way I wish someone loved me". there was a swift moment of silence before he spoke again. "how about you? what do you want out of life?". she thoughtlessly shakes her head. "I don't even know how to respond to the question anymore after you said that. I'm very much questioning my morality now". he laughs. "what? did you want money and cars and a hot wife?". he jokes while dipping a fry into honey mustard. before gabrielle could answer she was interrupted by a drunk girl, approaching the table and grabbing the hem of kai's sweater before she sat beside him. "i m-missed yoooou kai", she pouts and leans in, giving him clumsy kisses along his neck. he annoyingly pushes her off. "jessica get off me. you're drunk and you need to go home". she pouts her lips again. "when are you coming back to me?". gabrielle was grateful for another guy reaching for the girl's wrists and helping her out the seat. he seemed to be her much sober friend. "come on we're leaving. leave them alone". she blew kai kisses before she staggered away.

gabrielle kept silent while taking a bite of her burger and wiping her face shortly after. kai only stared at her, sensing that she may have felt some type of way about the situation. "look, she's just an ex. I haven't been seeing her at all". she swallows. "I know, heuning. I'm not angry". that's what she said, but kai felt otherwise. he reaches his hand across the table just to intertwine his fingers with hers. "come on. let's ditch this place I got something to show you". she furrows a brow. "this late at night?". he took out his wallet and pooled out some cash to stamp on the table for their meals. "yeah. it's hilarious trust me".

with the utmost confusion gabrielle takes his lead and his word for it. the campus was rather dark at night with a light here and there but lights were often hard to come by. this is what made gabrielle the most scared while she was running through the woods in the darkened quads with kai, with him tugging on her wrist egging her on. "heuning slow down! I'm scared what if I fall?". she whispered with her heart racing and all she could hear was the leaves and twigs snapping beneath her and kai's moving feet. he chuckles. "you're not going to fall stop being a scaredy cat. we're almost there". she tried to ignore every ounce of fear she withheld until they were finally approaching a small light at the side of a building. she was still catching her breath while she was nearing what looked to be a small window low at the base of the building. kai was crouching down right beside it, waving her over and pushing his index finger to his lips to silence any further noise she made. "I'm about to fucking die". she gasps for air and kai shushes her again to point to the window.

she peaks her head in just a tad bit to see a security guard in the back of an empty library at his desk on the computer. gabrielle shrugs her shoulders. "you made me run through the fucking woods just to show me this?". kai laughs and points again. "no look. look at the computer screen". gabrielle takes another look and scrunches her eyes a bit. her heart dropped at what she saw and she immediately tucked her head into kai's chest in disgust. "ew! that's so fucking digusting". kai laughed at her reaction as quiet as he could. "this old guy watches all kinds of shit. felching porn is his favorite". she shivered at the thought. "I just don't see what's arousing about seeing someone suck semen through a straw out of someone else's ass". kai shrugs and peers through the window again. "to each their own I guess?". she fixed her lips to reply but felt something crawling along her leg and she panicked, she gripped kai's shirt. "heuning! something is on me something is fucking on me". he looked down at her body but it was hard to see any creepy crawlers due to the lack of lighting around. "calm down calm down, I don't really see anything". whatever bug it was had quickly made it's way into the palm of her hand and it felt abnormally large and furry. she freaked out, flailing her body around and in turn kicked the window, gaining the attention of the security guard who quickly closed the tab and got up hastily to go outside and chase after them. "oh shit! come on". kai shrieked pulling her upwards to her feet and tugging her through the woods once again. by now she was wiping her hand on the pants of her jeans running as fast as she could go wanting to just pass the hell out.

sweat trickled down her forehead and she struggled to breathe. after moments of running they were finally out in the open in the quads, which was a terrible mistake because their movement set the sprinklers off. she wanted to get agitated but she couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous kai looked trying to block the projectile shooting water from hitting him when his body was already drenched. "heuning stop you look like an idiot". his hand was still in hers when his feet slipped on the wet grass underneath an oak tree, causing their wet bodies to fall on top of one another. they breathlessly laughed at their efforts of trying to get up but eventually slipping due to how wet the grass and the bottom of their shoes actually were. normally gabrielle would get mad about wetting some of her favorite clothes and wetting her hair even. but for some reason she didn't care. kai sat up on his elbows once he finished laughing, taking a minute to admire her even in the messy, muddy condition that she was in. she removes her glasses trying find a dry part of her shirt to dry them with and he strings his hand through her tangled hair. "you look like a beautiful disaster". he commented with a small grin. she blushes trying not to smile. "yeah well, it's your fault anyway. had me watching an old guy beat his dick to felching porn". kai laughs and pulls her in so that her face was adjacent to his own. he brushed his thumb over the tiny water droplets on her cheeks and waited for her lips like he always had. she got lost again. swept into the sea of his eyes and the heat of the moment, clashing her lips onto his once again.

"girl look, there he goes again". her seatmates jeers in philosophy, watching kai enter the room like she always had. gabrielle continues doodling. "you say that shit everyday. give it a rest". she starts eagerly tapping gabrielle in excitement, "oh shit he's coming over here". by the time gabrielle looked up she saw kai standing in front of her, smiling, plopping his things into the seat right beside hers. it took everyone by shock, gabrielle knew it even though no one had quite said anything. but she knew they were surprised that he was sitting beside someone else today. a girl in particular. "why are you looking at me all weird?". he grins before sitting. "I wasn't expecting you to sit next to me". he dug around in his bag for his utensils and notebooks. he was wearing a black oversized zipper hoodie and a graphic band t shirt. looking just as attractive as he did any other day. "I can't sit next to you? were you saving this seat for your other lovers?". when he said that it made her mind resort to her boyfriend, whom she hasn't texted in a while. she quickly shook the thought out of her mind though and playfully punches kai's shoulder. "oh shut up. you're the only one with other lovers here". kai laughs, "see now you shut up". professor witman finally arrives and sits his things on the desk at the front of the room like he always had. he began speaking briefly about the reading from last night. kai rests his head on his hand. half paying attention to what the professor was saying and half sneaking glances at gabrielle, whose beauty he admired so much.

"girl are you and kai... a thing?". her seatmate whispers discreetly. gabrielle didn't quite know how to respond to that. she keeps a blank expression. "something like that, I guess you could say". she responds but still unsure if that was the right answer either. kai nudges her. "so? you and me tonight at my dorm? what you think?". gabrielle was still doodling along the edges of her pages. "I think it's time that I catch up on my chemistry notes once and for all. that's what I think".

"well after you catch up? take your time it's no rush. my roommate is going to be out for the night so. maybe we can watch movies?".

he raised his intonation like a kid convincing their mom to buy them candy at a candy store. it was adorable to say the least. needless to say, she was at his dorm like he asked that night with no further questions. it was kind of fun being out often to be honest. it gave her a break from her studies at least. entering kai's room though was something she never thought she'd be doing throughout her whole four years here. but here she was, plopping on his bed and gazing around at the posters and decals he had plastered on his side of the room. it was pretty neat to be honest. organized too. "you like it?". he questions while standing in front of the tv with the remote controller in his hand. he was switching through the selection of films. "yeah. to be an active student here your room is actually clean". kai chuckles with his eyes still fixated on the tv screen. "what are you trying to say? that I'm dirty?". she pushes her glasses up a little. "no but--the fact that you have time to keep it neat while doing everything you do. I expected it to be a little messier than this at least".

"you really think I'd invite a pretty girl in my room and leave it messy? you're crazy". gabrielle hums, "so what are we going to watch?". kai grins. "I should make you watch something sappy like the notebook". gabrielle scoffs. "please heuning. let's watch something funny". kai continues flipping until he finally settled on dumb and dumber. he sits the remote down and walks to the bed, grabbing the pizza boxes off his nightstand and sitting them between them. "you can eat as much as you want. I think I bought a little too much". she opens the box and laughs. "boy I'm not about to sit here and scarf down all this pizza. I have enough weight that I have to lose". kai chews into a slice. "where?". she deadpans him before gesturing towards her tummy. “right here. you don’t have to act like you don’t see it. it’s okay”.

“well, I don’t. you think every time I look at you I’m thinking about your weight?”.

“yeah. chubbier people have anxiety when it comes to our weight”.

“I think you look fine. And I’m never looking at you like that so don’t worry. eat all you want”.

“I’m going to throw this pizza at your face”.

kai chuckles at her response. “what? why? why are you so aggressive?”.

“you’re sweet. I don’t know how to respond other than being aggressive. I don’t want the moment to get too soft”.

“just kiss me”.

“heuning, that’s a soft response”.

“I know I just want a kiss from you”. he admits, she thought it was kind of cute the way he asked. “maybe when we’re finished eating”. kai held her to that though and made sure she cuddled with him as soon as they were finished just so he could get the promised kisses. his chest was comfy and warm, and she always felt safe in his grip.

she thought for a moment. “heuning?”.

“hm?”. he hummed with his eyes still fixed on the tv screen. she toys with his hoodie strings. “give me three confessions about yourself. go”. he chuckles but kindly obliged. “okay well 1. I hate math. 2. I have a horrible ‘losing my virginity story’ and 3. I think I’m actually a very lonely person”. gabrielle laughs and perched her head up just to look at him. “okay the first one I understand. but you’re lonely and your first time didn’t go good?”.

“yeah. I mean I have friends and everything but. I just feel like I’m not fully connected with them sometimes. feel like we’re all just there to entertain each other. and as for my first time, well. that shit was a nightmare”.

“I feel you. I know the feeling. It kind of feels like you’re just floating. but I guess that comes with growing up. you just have to find your people. don’t think that I’m not going to ask you to share your story though. I’m curious”.

kai laughs. “you’re right I guess I do have to find my people. so far, I think you’re my person”.

“do you mean that or are you just saying that to distract me from telling me the story?”.

“no I’m serious”.

“well I think you’re my person too heuning”.

kai scoffs, “pft. heuning”.

“hey you said I can call you that. and tell me the story please”. kai playfully groans. “no it’s too embarrassing”.

“it can’t be that bad”.

“how about this? if you tell me yours I’ll tell you mine?”. she reaches up to cup his cheek. “how am I going to tell you mine when I don’t have one?”. kai breathes and brushes his thumb over the back of her hand. “you’re precious gabrielle”. she hums while swimming in his eyes again. “why? because I’m a virgin?”.

“no. you’re just pure. I think it’s precious. don’t let anyone pressure you into doing it alright? It’s okay to wait”. gabrielle nods in a daze. “everyone always says that shit. wait until you’ve found the right person. but how would you even know whose the right person. what if you do it and then things don’t work out with them and then you find the right person later on in life”. kai thinks for a moment. “I think it’ll just happen without thought”. gabrielle chuckles. “don’t be cheesy”. he smiles. “I’m not being cheesy I’m just saying. you’re always being mean to me”.

“aw? are you getting sensitive?”. she playfully mocked like kai always did. “no I’m not I’m just saying”. she walks her fingers up his chest teasingly. “my heuning is sensitive for me isn’t he?”. Kai looked rather cute when he was blushing. a red hue splotched around his cheeks. “I’m not sensitive”. she perks her lips up to peck him on the cheeks which he greatly appreciated since he loved her kisses dearly. they made his heart flutter. “kiss me again”. he begged.

“and just where the hell have you been?”. Bria asked finally seeing gabrielle come into their room after her morning shower. “I’ve been here. you the one that’s been going out. that’s why you don’t see me”. Bria gives her the best ‘yeah right’ grin. she continues tidying up her side of the room. “well since you don’t be doing anything diamond is having people over at her suite again. same crowd. you should come through this time”. gabrielle looks in her wardrobe to find some clothes. she felt kind of weary. “honestly I’m beat. I need to nap or something before I do anything else. I don’t know if I can go”. wait. if it was the same crowd that meant kai was going to be there. she quickly changed her mind. “I’ll try to make it though”. Bria tosses one of her dresses in her hampers. “good. I’m glad you’re being more open to going out”. well she really wasn’t. just more open to going wherever kai was. when she arrived he was sitting on the couch in the living room conversing with a few of his friends. everyone was sporadic as usual, either in the kitchen drinking, in the living room, playing games somewhere, or upstairs. kai was more than happy to see her especially when she plopped down on the couch right beside him.

Bria eyed the way he smiled at her and she grinned. “oop don’t get yourself caught up kai! she has a boyfriend you know”. she blurts while making her way upstairs. gabrielle’s heart dropped and her eyes widened. she was lucky no one else in the room knew what was going on so they continued with their festivities. but kai’s smile disappeared. “what is she talking about?”. she tried to wave it off. “that’s just bria. you know she be saying anything”. the cold look that he gave her right after that line made her world stop. “gabrielle? what is she talking about?”. she swallows before responding. she knew she had to tell the truth or things would be much worse. “I kind of.. have a boyfriend heuning but -“.

“kind of have a boyfriend? what the hell does kind of have a boyfriend mean? how long have you had a boyfriend?”. kai looked sweet when he was smiling but god, when he’s angry he’s lethal. his sharp stare could split her in two. “we’ve been dating since high school”. he clenched his jaw. “so you’ve had a boyfriend this whole entire time? and you didn’t bother telling me? so what were you trying to play me or something?”. she quickly grew nervous. “no it isn’t like that I was going to break up with him I swear”. she tried to explain herself but he was already getting up, making his way out of the house with a slamming door.

good. she felt like complete shit. this is exactly what she needed. she didn't mean for it to all happen like this. she was really going to break up with him but it was hard doing that to someone you've been in a relationship with for years. the party for gabrielle was essentially ruined. she didn't even want to be there anymore. well, she didn't really want to be anywhere anymore. kai hadn't responded to her texts and calls for days on end. even when she apologized. and even when she lied and said she broke up with her boyfriend. nothing worked. seeing him in the quads was quite different now, he didn't make eye contact with her even when she tried to make it with him. instead he continued talking to his friends, continuing on whatever conversations he was having. while they were in the library michelle could sense that gabrielle was a little more off than usual. she finally laid her pencil down and addressed her. "alright gabby. what's the matter?". gabrielle continued writing with her attention on her paper. "nothing I'm fine".

"oh please. you've been more down than usual lately. what happened? what did kai do?".

"he didn't do anything. it's my fault".

"your fault? what did you do?".

"he found out I had a boyfriend".

"gabby? you didn't tell him that?".

"it's not that easy michelle. I wasn't expecting all of this shit to happen. hell, I wasn't even expecting kai to even ask me out".

"you've been hanging with kai for weeks now. you don't think you had time to tell him in between any of those times?".

she deadpans her. "how do you have time to tell someone that? in the middle of dates you think I'm just like hey I really like hanging with you and I'm starting to like you but I have a boyfriend".

"you could've said something. you have his number right? you could've made it easier on yourself and said it through a text message or something".

"but I was planning on breaking up with him. i swear I was".

"either way you should've told him".

gabrielle sighs. shit. she should've. michelle was right. but how would the timing ever be right to tell someone that? her mind was swarming with ideas for how she could resolve everything. she waited patiently after philosophy class. even though her heart was practically pounding through her eardrums she exhaled before she approached him down the hallway. for the first time he didn't smile when he saw her. he looked at her as if she was every other girl that approached her.

"what do you want gabrielle?".

"heuning. I'm sorry. that was wrong of me to just continue on with this without telling you. i wasn't trying to be two timing I just didn't know how I was going to do it. when I'm with you I don't think about him, i forget about him".

"I'm glad then. this time away is probably finally getting you to remember him again?". he spoke calmly while walking away, out of the doors of the building and to the parking lot where his car was. gabrielle followed.

"it's not like that. why the hell would I try to play you? after all you've confided in me, why would I play with your feelings like that?".

"why don't you ask yourself that question?". he pulled open his car door.

"you're acting stupid as shit right now. for real. you should basically know me by now. I would never intentionally do something like that to you".

"why would you go on a date with me if you knew you had a boyfriend? huh? when I first asked you, you knew full well you were with someone. all of this could've been avoided if you told me the truth".

"go on a date?". a familiar voice repeated behind her. she quickly turned her head to see her boyfriend, noah.

"noah what are you doing here?".

"I drove up here thinking that since it's been a while, I should take you out or spend some time with you. I didn't think you'd be up here seeing somebody else".

"noah it's not like that I swear to god. we have to talk".

"this is what you wanted to happen right gabrielle? you didn't want to break up with him and you didn't want to tell me so you got what was coming to you. go deal with that. I have problems of my own to deal with". and with that kai got in his car, pulling off and driving away before gabrielle could say anything else. she shamefully turned back to noah who looked so disappointed that it actually broke her heart.

"you promised me that even while you were away your love wouldn't stop for me. and then you go do this shit. I'm done gabrielle".

"my love didn't stop for you".

"you don't do that to people you claim you love. I hope you're enjoying it here". she stretched her arm to grab his wrists but he shrugged her off and walked back to his car, leaving her feeling absolutely stupid by herself. her face felt extremely hot on her way back to her dorm and she didn't want to look up because she already knew her eyes were rimming with tears.

"girl? you alright? what's wrong?". upon entry bria could already sense that someone was off. and since gabrielle was in the comfort of her room now she figured she might as well let her tears fall. "you remember that night you told kai that I had a boyfriend?". bria nods before a lightbulb went off in her head. she covers her mouth. "gabby. don't tell me he didn't know. ya'll was talking?".

"yes. we've been hanging out for a while now and we've been into each other. I didn't tell him about noah. so when you said that it pissed him off. he didn't talk to me for days and then finally today when I confronted him, noah decides to show up and overhear us. he broke up with me. and now kai wants nothing to do with me because he thinks I was two timing him".

out of guilt bria pulls her roommate in for a hug. "I swear I didn't know I'm sorry that's my bad. why didn't you tell me you and kai was talking? you know I joke around a lot. I wouldn't have said shit if he didn't know".

"I was scared to tell you because I knew you would tease me about it and to be honest I was just ashamed of the fact that you were right. I shouldn't have came to college with a boyfriend if I've never really been on the dating scene before. when kai asked me out I didn't think about any of that shit".

"girl. this is a mess and is one of the reasons why I don't deal with men and their attitudes. and if it makes you feel any better I could understand why you didn't think about noah when kai asked you out. that boy is fine as hell".

gabrielle playfully punched her in the arm with a small laugh. "shut up bria. I know and I feel bad. like why would I play kai? who in their right mind would play kai?".

bria curls her glossed lips into a small smirk. "aw? you're in love with kai? aren't you?".

gabrielle ignores her to keep from blushing. " this is not the time. I just got broken up with".

bria laughs and tugs on gabby's cheeks. "aw my gabby is in love! I'm so mad that you didn't tell me about this. how did this all even happen?".

"I'd tell you if I wasn't in shambles. he probably doesn't even want to talk to me anymore".

"girl bye. I don't date men anymore but trust me when I did, one thing I learned is that if they like you they'll never leave you alone. that boy is just a little mad now. he's not going to stay mad forever".

gabrielle moves a pillow to the other side of her bed. "yeah, well. until then I'm just going to go to sleep. I need a nap after this shit".

"aw. well I'm going to get some food later. you want me to bring you back anything?".

gabrielle shakes her head no while clutching a pillow, ready to drift off. she wasn't keeping track of how long she slept but she just wanted to sleep long enough to where she could forget about everything. or at least to where everything didn't hurt as much. when she woke up her forehead was clammy and her room was dark, not a sign of bria anywhere. she figured she stayed over at diamond's. she turns the lamp on beside her bed and was greeted by a food tray container sitting on her nightstand. she didn't know what was in it but she was grateful for bria. maybe she wasn't as obnoxious as gabrielle made her seem.

she couldn't eat though, not right now at least. she couldn't stop thinking about what happened earlier which kind of pissed her off since she thought sleep could lessen the blow. but her heart ached just as much as it did when she was awake. she thought about what bria said. she's right. if kai liked her then there was no way he could stay angry. with that being said gabrielle discarded every bit of fear she had and threw on more comfortable clothes and made her way to his dorm. it was late so she wasn't expecting him to answer but she hoped he would. she knocked softly and her heart pounded with each knock. she didn't know what he would do or even say if he saw her.

to her surprise there was light shuffling behind the door before it opened, revealing kai in an oversized grey hoodie and messy hair. his face was flushed and he looked as though he were crying too. but she didn't want to make any assumptions. he folded his arms, not expecting to see her at his door at all. "what? what do you want?".

"I know you've probably heard this one thousand times from me but heuning I'm sorry. honestly. what I did was shitty. I should've told you. I only didn't because like I said, when I'm with you I don't think about noah, or anyone else for that matter. when I first moved into this school me and noah made a promise that even while I was away we'd stay together. so when I got here i had no expectations of being interested in someone else. but you make me feel things I've never felt before and I didn't know how I was going to tell him that I fell in love with someone else. I'm in love with you. and I'll admit that". she croaked. she didn't want to cry. no-- she was going to try and stay strong. kai starts swiping her tears away with his thumbs.

"don't cry gabrielle. i wasn't doing any of that to hurt you but I was angry because I thought you were trying to hurt me", he presses a kiss into her forehead. "I'm in love with you too". he pulls her in for a warm hug. "cmon. I have a place where we can go to blow off all of this".

and when he said that gabrielle didn’t think he meant the empty recreation center where the swimming pool and gyms were. once he brought her in and shredded his shirt he dived in the deep end in the shorts he already had on, then swam to the shallow end where gabrielle was standing there poolside with her arms folded, grinning at him. he shook his wet hair and combed it back with his fingers. the pool room was warm and she felt comfort in the fact that it was just them two in there.

“heuning are we even supposed to be here?”.

“why would they leave the door open if we couldn’t? I come here all the time. mainly at night where I can be alone. just to clear my head sometimes. you should come in with me”.

“I’m wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. I’m not prepared to get in. plus I can’t even swim. don’t worry though I’ll just watch you from the pool chairs”.

“just wear my shirt. It’s not scary I promise. plus this water is warm”. gabrielle stood for a moment in thought. he could tell she was still trying to decide. “please? I’ll teach you”.

she swipes his shirt off the ground and playfully rolls her eyes. “fine heuning. fine. turn around”. he smiled at that and turned his body, waiting for her to give him the signal that she was done changing. once she had though he marveled over her features as soon as he turned back around. he hated the fact that she was self conscious about her body. especially when he loved every part of her, and every part of cellulite and series of stretch marks that came with it. his oversized shirt dangled just above her knees and she stood there shyly.

“why are you staring at me like that?”.

“because you’re beautiful”. he walked to the pool stairs and held his hand out for her to grab. she did so and felt her body shudder a little at the sudden contact with water. it was easy to get used to since it was fairly warm. they were already at four feet but she was already getting anxiety thinking about sinking underneath the water.

“we can stay here if you want. we don’t have to go to the deep end”. kai informed leaning back, letting himself float on top of the water. “how do you do that?”.

“what? float? just lay back and relax”.

gabrielle thought about it and positioned her body to do it but she quickly got frightened feeling her head almost sink into the water. kai clutched her body just in time. he was holding her bridal style just at the brim of the water.

“relax. don’t think about anything”.

“I’ll try not to think about how a cute boy is holding me right now”.

“and while I’m holding you I’ll try not think about how a cute girl is swimming in my shirt”.

“other than the fact that it’s clinging to my body right now it’s kind of comfy. I think I’ll keep it”.

“go ahead. there’s plenty more where that came from”.

“sounds like I need to go shopping in your closet?”.

“you’d probably wear my clothes better than me”. kai smiles. “look. you’re doing it and I’m barely touching you”. her eyes widened with excitement.

“wait I’m doing it? Oh my god I’m floating!”. he laughs. “calm down before you sink. you’re supposed to stay relaxed remember?”.

"I'm relaxed I'm just excited!". her voice bellowed off the pool room walls and soon she began to quickly submerge in the water with her frequent movements. she hadn't sunk that deep, maybe a couple of inches or two but water still filled her nose and lungs when she breathed it all in. kai panicked and lifted her out the water and threw her over his shoulder, he walked to sit her on the pool ledge so she could take a break from the water. she was coughing and her nose burned a shit ton, she mentally vowed to never do it again. kai pats her back and consoles her, wondering how everything even happened so fast. "you have to be careful baby I told you to relax". he consoles. yeah, she was still trying to get her eyes to focus on earthly things but her ears were open enough to hear the pet name. she got butterflies when she was finally feeling well enough to look down into his eyes.

"what?".

she shook her head, implying that it was nothing. "you called me baby".

"yeah. because you're my baby".

she blushed. "I am? without permission? you didn't even ask me".

he gives her a gentle smile, taking her hand and hugging her torso from the middle of her legs. "gabrielle? do you want to be my baby?".

"yes. yes I'd love that".

he smiles again, the smile that she loved. there wasn't a delay in the kiss that he gave her, it was swift and smooth and he held her close enough to where the world around her blurred and suddenly there was no noise. just the beating of their hearts together, hopelessly, cynically in love.

after swimming she didn't want to leave him. maybe she found herself a bit attached but she didn't care and neither did he.

"I know you're devising a plan to steal my hoodies so. I might as well donate some to you while you're here". gabrielle shuts the door behind her looking over at the vacant bed across from his. "where's your roommate?". kai digs around his closet. "he's probably at some party or spending the night somewhere". he turns and throws a hoodie at her chest and she catches it promptly. she turned to the mirror and pulled it over her head to see how it would fit. firstly, it smelled just like heuning so she was already starting to love it even if it fit a little big. she turned to the side and posed so she could see different angles of herself as she did with every new article of clothing she had. she didn't notice kai lowkey watching from the side in admiration and amusement. she was adorable in his clothes.

her heart dropped when he appeared behind her. she was too busy thinking about the things she could wear with the hoodie she completely forgot that she was even in his room. he smiles sweetly at her through the mirror. "you look so cute". it was hard for gabrielle to keep trying to hide her reddening cheeks so this time she embraced it. she embraced him. she embraced the fact that no matter what she thought she looked like, kai would always see her differently. she embraced the way he embraced her. "thank you heuning". she mutters, meeting his stare. it wasn't a creepy stare but rather wholesome, he saw paradise in her eyes even if it was through a reflective piece of glass. for the first time in his life he felt something. he felt a connection. and she felt his hands encompassing her waist and his lips sprinkling soft, heedful kisses along the expanse of her neck. gabrielle drew in a sharp breath, observing it all through the mirror ahead. she reaches her hand up and allowed it to entangle in the damp curly strands of his hair. her head tilts back a bit further, giving him the opportunity to kiss the places that he abandoned. her heart was pounding but she no longer cared. the butterflies in her stomach was wrecking her much harder. she tilted her head back enough for him to look into her eyes again before swooping in for a delicate kiss that rippled fireworks through their veins. they were stuck like that for a while, enveloping in each other's warmth while their lips moved en masse. it was was one foot after the other until they fell onto the bed, giving themselves to the ardent love that they were yearning for.

when gabrielle awoke the next morning she faintly remembered falling asleep on kai’s chest but it was hard to remember much of anything with the yelling that was ringing through her ears. her eyes flickered open to see that she wasn’t cuddled with Kai anymore but instead gripping a pillow, and kai was at the door arguing with some girl whom she couldn’t see.

“can you quiet down? you’re being too loud”. kai exclaimed, wanting to just shut the door on Jessica’s face.

“no! no I’m not lowering my fucking tone for what?! you need to hear me. shit everyone does. you’ve taken this too far! you need to tell her already!”.

at the sound of her words gabrielle leaned up a bit rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “tell me what? heuning? what’s going on what is she talking about?”.

when kai looked back at her a guilty expression was drawn across his face. he looked as if he wanted to say something, he just didn’t know how. “It’s nothing gabrielle”. Jessica pushes his room door open and storms past him, approaching the bed where gabrielle was. “Jessica stop”. kai warned. but she ignored him and gave gabrielle an angry gaze anyway.

“kai never liked you. he never wanted to date you or any of that shit. since you rejected him the first time he made a bet with his friends that he could get you to fall in love with him and then sleep with you. all this shit is a lie”.

gabrielle clutched the blankets with her stomach churning and hands growing clammy. the walls around her seemed as if they were closing in and there was a large lump in her throat. she darts her eyes over at kai who was still wearing the same guilty expression from earlier. “heuning? what the fuck is she talking about? is it true?”.

“gabrielle”.

“tell me the fucking truth heuning kai”.

he swallows, just wanting to disappear. “it was true at first but—“.

before he could continue she felt sick to her stomach. she was upset beyond measure and instead of staying and listening to another lie she throws on her shoes and grabs her clothes, making her way out of the residence hall and into the quads. such a bright warm day contrasted the way she was feeling. her body was on fire and she didn’t know if whether she wanted to cry or go completely numb. she knew she probably looked stupid staggering through the crowded quad full of students in the midst of their Saturday festivities. gabrielle couldn’t even make it fully out the quad until she felt lightheaded and fell to her knees, puking her feelings onto the blades of grass. she couldn’t believe him. she couldn’t believe he would do something like that to her.

she hadn’t known that he followed her, stopping at a distance once he saw her throwing up. “gabrielle none of that shit is true anymore. here let me help you”. he reached his hand out but she spoke quickly with her stomach heaving. “don’t you fucking touch me heuning kai”. she wipes her mouth and dizzily stands to her feet, giving him the deadliest stare he ever saw in his life. fear and guilt washed over him. “gabrielle you have to believe me”. she draws a hand back and gifts him a stinging slap across his face. one so loud that it drew the attention of everyone surrounding them. kai was stunned, shocked even. he held his cheek in pain.

“that was such an asshole move I should’ve known. I was told to stay away from you and that you’re nothing but trouble but I decided to give you a chance because I thought that’s all that you probably needed. a chance to show someone who you really are but now I fucking know who you are. a lying piece of shit who doesn’t give a damn about anyone but himself”.

“gabrielle—“. he tries to grab her wrist but she swiftly pulls away. “I fucking gave myself to you. that’s something I vowed to do only when I felt like the timing was just right and you took advantage of that didn’t you? you got a kick out of knowing that I was a virgin freshman didn’t you? you’re such a bitch it isn’t even funny”.

“no you didn’t let me finish it was true at first I’ll admit that. I’ll admit I’m an asshole for even devising a plan like that but all of that changed once I met you gabrielle. I fucking forgot about the plan. I meant everything I’ve ever said to you. I want you and I’m so in love with you I can’t even put it into words. please. you have to believe me. I’m sorry”.

she shook her head in annoyance, unable to even withstand the sight of his face.

“fuck you, heuning kai”. she made those words her last before she turned on her heels to cut through the crowd, vowing to never speak to him ever again.

#heuning kai #heuning kai fluff #heuning kai angst #tomorrow x together #netflix fanfic

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sweeethinny · 3 years

Note

sirius/hestia: sirius being romantic and love's fool

hello anon thank you so much i love writing about them

I took a while, but then I thought a lot about this scene, and I loved how this fanfic turned out, so I hope you like it.

*It's 1995, just before Jily and Harry need to go to Grimmauld Place

They had fought over something stupid, honestly, Hestia knew it was something too silly for the two of them to take so seriously.

But of course it hadn't been stupid at the time, and the two of them took fights very seriously, so when they had to go to that stupid Aurors dinner, they weren't trying very hard to show that they didn't want to be there and that they had had a fight a few minutes ago.

Hestia couldn't even remember who started the fight, but she was irritated with work and Sirius kept being pessimistic about this stupid dinner, listing everything that could go wrong, and she freaked out because she didn't need to think about someone being rude with them, because she had already spent eight hours listening to people being rude to her, and being mean to her because they thought they knew better. She needed to have some faith that for at least two hours she was going to be able to smile and have fun, even the slightest bit.

She had gone into hiding in the bathroom when one of the Aurors came to talk to Sirius, she didn't have the patience to deal with Mr. Santiago, however well intentioned he was, Hestia didn't want anyone asking her if she was getting pregnant in the next few years, or she would wait to get older.

Sirius would handle it better than she did, she knew that. Santiago was his boss after all.

Sitting on the toilet, she sighed, glad to finally be silent.

She wanted to quit, wanted to tell Sirius that it had been a mistake that they had moved from their quiet, cozy house to a more central apartment, wanted to call her dad and yell at him for being a jerk last week when he saw her and Sirius at the market and ignored him, she wanted to tell Lily that it wasn't fair that she was so far away and she wasn't allowed to see her best friend because a lunatic nearly killed her son even though she knew it wasn't her or Potter's or Harry's fault.

Hestia buried her face in her hands, wanting to disappear.

When the bathroom door opened she was ready for her cabin door to open too, it was probably Sirius wanting to see if she was alright, and Hestia felt ready to be able to lie and say yes, even if he wouldn't believe it.

He knew her too well.

But instead, she heard female voices, cheerful and full of life, probably not expecting anyone else there; ''He's beautiful.''

''Yes, so, so beautiful.'' The other sighed passionately, which made Hestia chuckle softly, remembering when it was she, Lily and Marlene doing that, running to the bathroom of the muggle ice cream shop that was on the corner of her house, only to daydream about Elliot, the boy who works there. Older, charming, helpful, and very polite.

Hestia still remembered how they all screamed and jumped when Marlene kissed him.

"I'd give anything to kiss him," Girl A said, and the noise of things being placed on the marble sink made her believe they were both touching up their makeup or something. She had done so much with Lily and Marlene to forget what it felt like to just worry about looking pretty.

There was no war, people dying, hidden friends, nothing, it was just them putting on lipstick and making sure they were all perfect to try and get someone to kiss in some dark corner of Hogwarts by the end of the night.

Hestia remembered when Sirius saw her doing this. The two of them on James's seventeenth birthday, after making out warmly in his bedroom, Sirius showed her the bathroom and watched her touch up her makeup. It was so silly and natural when she thought about it, because he still does it, he still watches Hestia like it's for the first time.

''You know what I wanted? Kiss every tattoo of his.” Girl B said, and Hestia almost laughed when she heard her sigh loudly, imagining she was fanning herself. "So sexy."

‘’He's usually already a hottie, but when does he show off his tattoos? Urg, I feel like I'm going to die.” Girl A moaned irritably. "I hate that he's married."

Uh, married men, she had been through that with girls too, not that Hestia liked Johann, but she couldn't help saying he was hot. Lily was the one who thought he was most beautiful, she melted when he got close to her. It was funny, she should send her a letter talking about it.

''These days I saw him training, they were the best ten minutes of my life. '' Hestia chuckled softly, thinking of the times she had gone to the gym only to see Sirius sweating and exercising, every now and then he would lift his shirt to dry his face and make her feel on the clouds. It was her weakness.

"Lucky his wife who sees him naked every day."

"He bought her flowers yesterday, I think it was their birthday." Woman B said.

"He always buys it, or flowers, or something she likes to eat." They were silent, probably breaking up. "I heard one of the Aurors who works with him flirted with him."

‘’Yes, Felicity. She asked if he didn't want to go along with her to the convention in France… I mean, I understand, he's a hot guy, but he's married, hold your pants woman!’’

''Do you know what he said?'' Girl A looked curious, and Hestia was too, because Sirius was going to this convention in France and he didn't say anything to her about it, and he usually told her about Auror gossip.

‘’No, but she didn't look happy when she left his office. But Juan told me that Ester told him that he told her not to let her into his office anymore, and that he looked kind of furious. Not that Felicity was happy, of course, I think she expected him to agree to go out with her.”

“Ah, he would never do that, he's clearly in love with his wife.” Girl A laughed. ''Once, during one of our trainings, he told me that when they were at Hogwarts, he only started paying attention in Muggle Studies classes because of her, and that his favorite class was DADA because they sat near one of the another.'' Hestia frowned, thinking that this could only be a bizarre coincidence.

"Yes, I've seen them talking, and seriously, I hope that one day someone will look at me the way Mr. Black looks at her." They sighed, and Hestia became more attentive to their conversation. ''He has a picture of the two of them in his drawer, I once went there to get a paper for a meeting he asked for and I saw it, they are in a mountain of snow, and she is without her glove showing her ring.'' Sirius still kept this photo? It had been so long now, they were twenty-two and he had asked her to marry him.

“So cute.” The noise of makeup being put away resounded through the silent bathroom, and Hestia fingered the ring that had a lovely diamond set in it. Their names were still delicately engraved on the inside of the ring.

‘’Do you think that's why Felicity won't travel to the convention? Because did she flirt with him?” B asked.

''Probably. Not that I think he would cheat on her or anything, but he probably wants to avoid drama at all costs, you know how he hates it.” Sirius hates drama? Hestia didn't really agree with this, but probably because at work he was much more serious and reserved than at home, because she still remembered him saying that he would die after getting a fever and vomiting from eating bad food.

"Yes." The two continued talking, but now the voices faded as they exited the bathroom, soon leaving her alone in the bathroom again.

Hestia knew Sirius was a hot guy, she remembered how she had almost drooled every time she was admiring him in the common room, sitting sprawled on the couch as if he didn't realize that the more he tried not to draw attention, the more people looked at him, his chin resting on his hand as he watched Peter and Remus play chess.

He was handsome even when he didn't want to be.

Like the first time they slept together, and when she woke up she saw him sleeping. With his face scrunched up and his hair pinned up, so fluffy and helpless it was hard for her to decide to wake him up - but she was getting really hungry and she couldn't remember where her clothes were.

But she didn't know anyone was flirting with him. With her man.

And she didn't want to think like that, because she was an idiot, but it was the thing that was going through her head at that moment. Imagining some woman, much prettier than she, flirting with Sirius. Touching his hair, his face, his tattoos.

Hestia loved kissing his tattoos, all of them, and she liked to remember that he had made one just for her. But it disturbed her peace to think of someone else doing it.

And why hadn't he told her about Felicity? Hestia had met her once before, a nice and kind woman with short black hair and a body to envy.

"Hey, where were you, I was-" Hestia wouldn't let him finish, she'd come out of the bathroom on a mission and their stupid fight wasn't going to get in the way. Ignoring his coworkers and what Mr. Santiago was saying, she cupped Sirius' face as she had been doing since she was seventeen and ran away from home at night on winter break to meet him, and kissed him.

Hestia still felt those butterflies in her stomach when she did that, like she felt when he kissed her near the Potters' house in the rain, or when he took her for a walk in Muggle London, even though none of them knew where to go. She still remembered how she had jumped for joy in Lily's room, telling her and Marlene how he had made her jump over a gate so they could enter an old amusement park, the two of them going to sit on the old Ferris wheel, sharing an ice cream he had bought.

"Wow, okay." Sirius blinked as she pulled away, her hands still on his face. ''Hm, this is good... Where have you been?’’ He placed his hands on her hips, pulling her farther forward as she smiled. "Is this your way of calling for a truce in the fight?"

"Fuck the fight." She stared at him, feeling her chest burn. “Coming with me to get a drink?” She looked away quickly, just to check that the other guys had left them alone. It looked like Santiago had managed to drag everyone over to the cold cuts table, which was a good thing, because she didn't want his co-work to think Hestia was dragging her husband aside to have mad sex with him.

As much as they had already done it.

And as much as she was a little mad at this talk of someone flirting with him, Hestia wasn't making a big scene in public. Never.

"Of course." Sirius still looked a little stunned, but he followed her wherever she pulled. Hestia could see that there were indeed some people giving Sirius a second check, only to look at her afterwards as if wondering what he had seen in her.

She didn't take away their reason, she had already asked that same question to him a few times during her crises.

"You know you don't have to lie to me, don't you?" She asked as they reached the farthest part of the room, no one seemed to notice the two of them there.

"I know… Did something happen?" Sirius put his hands back on her hips, a smirk on his face. '’I thought getting a drink was code for getting laid, or for going home to get laid until we lost our wits, but I think I got it wrong?'’

“Don't be an idiot, I'm on my period.” She rolled her eyes when she heard him chuckle.

"And I don't care." He shrugged. "So what's this about me not lying?"

"Felicity flirted with you?" To his credit, Sirius looked confused for a few seconds before letting out a oh. ''Is that a yes?''

"Doll, don't mind that, it was the most shameful thing I've ever been through, and there's no need for you to worry." He grimaced at the memory. ‘’I didn't tell you before because it doesn't matter, I didn't even remember it. Who told you?''

"I heard it in the bathroom… It seems like there are a lot of people who think you're hot," Hestia said, trying not to be affected by the closeness Sirius was putting between them, his mischievous smile growing.

‘’Jealous babe? I thought we were past that stage.” His smug smile was the worst, his gray eyes gleaming as if he were a beast and Hestia his next prey. "I don't really care what other people think, you know that."

"I know," Sirius kissed her, gentle and calm as he did whenever he was teasing her. "And I'm not jealous, I was just curious why you kept it from me… Afraid I'd do something, Black?"

"Nah, I can handle you and calm your beast."

“Don't be cocky.” She lifted her chin to let him kiss her neck, smiling at the feel of his lips there.

"I didn't tell you because it was Valentine's Day and I wasn't going to spoil our dinner for something as dumb as that." He looked at her, hands firm on her hips. ‘’It's idiot, you know I only have eyes for you. But if you must know, I hated every second from the time she walked into my office, until she left."

"She's not that good then?" Hestia bit her lip as he kissed the sensitive flesh near her collarbone.

"She's not you, Hestia." Sirius raised his head, as if it were the most obvious thing.

“Urg, you're so cheesy.” It wasn't a real complaint, but she liked the way he smiled when she said it. "It gave me a toothache." They chuckled, Sirius returning his hands to her hips, creating a space between them. Hestia knew what he was going to ask even before he opened his mouth.

''What happened today? You don't just look like this.” Hestia grimaced, not wanting to talk about it now that they were all right again, but she knew if she didn't, he would make her talk sooner or later. It turned out that the two of them always needed a little push to talk about their feelings, and the other almost never liked the silence that came between them when that happened.

"It was a shitty day at work, and… I don't want to work there anymore." She accepted his embrace, laying her head on top of his heart, feeling Sirius kiss the top of her head. "I miss Lily, I don't like living in that apartment and…the drama with my dad last week?" She looked up at him, wanting not to cry but not able to keep the tears from stinging in her eyes. ‘’I thought it was over, it's been almost twenty years, why does he continue with it? I'm so tired… And today listening to those girls in the bathroom, I don't know, I know you won't cheat on me, that's not it, but… what are you still doing here?’’

''Like this? I'm here because I love you, where else would I go?’’

"To the arms of a prettier woman with a less troubled family?" She ventured, dropping her face back into his chest because she felt ashamed for saying that, and for feeling that. She didn't like to look him in the eye when one of her crises started, Hestia was always silly afraid that she would see in Sirius that disgusted and slightly annoyed expression she had seen in her father's eyes when that happened.

“I don't think there's a woman prettier than you, and about your family, it's not like mine is a bed of roses, is it?” He hugged her tighter, like he did when she was sad. Hestia knew Sirius would never look at her with that accusatory look that she was going crazy. "You know what I thought when Felicity walked into my office and started telling me about how Paris was a romantic city and all?"

''What?''

"That we never went there, which is ridiculous because it should have been the first place for us to go together." He chuckled softly. ‘’Paris is indeed a very romantic city.’’

"Yes, you're right." She sniffled, tears stinging in her eyes again.

‘’I don't care if someone is flirting with me, or I don't know if there are women talking about me in the bathroom. Sure, it's really good for my ego, you know,” Hestia chuckled, rolling her eyes. "But none of them are you, and I'm not saying this because I want to convince you to have shower sex later, because you know we're going to-"

''Disgusting.''

‘’-You love it. But it's because I love you Jones, and for you I can put up with your father pretending I don't exist for hours if it'll make you happy, and, I can find a way to get you inside Lily's house without Dumbledore knowing and staying talking to us about everything we already know. She needs you too, James told me she's feeling pretty lonely... And I don't like that apartment either, and Joe is looking to sell his house, so we can go visit if you want.'' Sirius was quiet, his chin resting on top of her head, his arms holding her securely in his embrace.

"I hate feeling like this," Hestia grumbled.

''If it's any comfort to you, last week I thought I'd cut my hair because you told me about that guy from your job.'' He admitted, and when Hestia lifted her face to look at him, Sirius' cheeks were flushed. "Don't look at me like that, it's been a tense week."

"Noooo, you're perfect like that." She brought her hands up to his hair, smiling at the familiar feel of his silky strands. "It's the only reason I married you, so if you don't want to deal with the divorce bureaucracy, don't cut it."

Sirius chuckled, looking pleased to have gotten her out of that cloud of self-deprecation. He was very good at it. ‘’Don't worry, I don't want to deal with these papers anytime soon.. Hope never actually...want to go home?’’

“Are you going to get that massage you promised me two weeks ago?” His gray eyes sparkled, his cheeks still a little flushed and a beautiful smile on his lips. Hestia remembered the girls talking about how he looked at her, and she didn't blame them for wanting that either.

‘’Of course, and then we can enjoy the shower-’’

"No way." They laughed, Sirius sighing in defeat.

"I'll still convince you and you'll regret not listening to me sooner." They intertwined their fingers, Sirius pulling her towards the exit, nodding casually to his coworkers, a little hastily.

'I'll let you try, but I promise nothing…'

#sirius x hestia #my babies #sirius black #everyone lives #marauders #padfoot #hestia jones #my fic

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stiltonbasket · 3 years

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but ALSO okay so first of all thank you so much for the ficlets so far they are Adorable and i love them so much. second of all i am so glad you opened prompts again bcuz. i have. smth ive been wanting to read for a WHILE. so. prompt: junior generation post-canon, they all have super high standards for romantic partners cuz they spend time with Super Lovey Dovey WangXian. not like jiang cheng's List but smth a la Tenille Arts's Somebody Like That iykwim

i hope its not too late to insert a detail to my prompt!!! (i ran outta chara space in the og prompt message and then forgot ^^" ) but theres just one thing!! i really wanna see!!!! in the wangxian spoiling each other bit!!!!! (and the juniors being all That is Love Why Should We Settle For Less) -- i want lan zhan walkin around at one point with his hair in a braid and flowers braided in!!! and if asked he gets all soft and looks at it and is like "wei ying did it" ahhh i love the image <3

can anybody find me (somebody to love)

by stiltonbasket

“Wei-qianbei, we’re getting old enough to go courting now,” Jingyi says eagerly; but he’s a horrible liar who lies, because he and Sizhui are only nineteen, and Jin Ling doesn’t come of age until early winter. “What do you think we should put on our list of requirements?”

(Or, the one where Jin Rulan visits the Cloud Recesses, contemplates his love life, and gets a new point of view on the Lan sect's taxation policy.)

Jin Ling is seventeen the year his dajiu marries Hanguang-jun, and finally gives Jin Ling the right to call Lan Sizhui his cousin. Sizhui’s always been his cousin, of course—they’ve been cousins since Jin Ling was born, even if neither of them knew it—but he couldn’t say so, because that would mean telling everyone that Sizhui was born a Wen. And telling everyone that Sizhui was a Wen would lead to terrible things, so Jin Ling keeps his mouth shut until after his dajiu’s wedding.

“You could just say that he was born to us during the Sunshot Campaign!” Wei Wuxian laughed, when he finally heard why Jin Ling wanted him to hurry up and take his three bows with Hanguang-jun. “Half the cultivation world already thinks he’s ours, anyway.”

But regardless of whether he could call Sizhui his biao-ge in public, Sizhui is first and foremost a very dear friend; and so are Lan Jingyi and A-Qing and Ouyang Zizhen, though Jin Ling’s best friend is probably Zizhen, just like Sizhui’s is Jingyi. He visits them in Gusu as often as he can, since all of them save Zizhen live there, and even Zizhen hangs around the Cloud Recesses more often than not.

“Don’t you have a clan of your own?” Jin Ling frowns, when he visits his dajiu around midsummer to find the younger boy eating xiaolongbao in the jingshi’s new kitchen. “How come you’re still here, A-Zhen? The lectures ended weeks ago!”

“I’m almost sixteen,” Zizhen yawns, reaching for a shallow dish of black vinegar and soaking a salted mushroom in it. “Father says I’m old enough to go where I like, and Lan-xiansheng said I could keep studying with the Lan disciples as long as I stayed.”

“You’re just here for the food,” grumbles Jin Ling. His dajiu is a good cook when he doesn’t cover everything in chili peppers, and Jiujiu once told him in confidence that Wei-dajiu’s food was the closest Jin Ling would ever get to having his mother’s. But a steaming plate of xiaolongbao lands in front of Jin Ling before he can really start thinking about that, and then his baby cousin crawls into his lap and steals one of the soup dumplings.

“Ling-gege pays taxes,” three-year-old Lan Yu says serenely, poking a hole in the xiaolongbao and sucking out the broth. “Xiao-Yu can have one more?”

“Taxes?” Jin Ling stares at him. “What in the world does he mean?”

Wei Wuxian laughs and comes back over to give him another succulent soup dumpling to replace the one Xiao-Yu stole. “He’s pretending to be the sect leader,” he explains, ruffling Jin Ling’s hair on his way back to the stove. “And he found out about tax management this morning, since Lan Zhan and Xichen-ge are thinking about lifting the luxury tax on goods from some of the minor sects. But A-Yu thinks taxes are presents for the sect leader, so…”

“One more bao tax for xiao-Lan-zongzhu!” Xiao-Yu says imperiously, holding out his chubby hands. “Ling-gege give, please?”

“That is not polite, Xiao-Yu,” Hanguang-jun scolds, sweeping into the kitchen with A-Yuan and Jingyi behind him and A-Qing bringing up the rear. He lifts Xiao-Yu into his arms and sits him down on the bench next to Zizhen, and then he reaches up for a stack of patterned bowls and passes them around to the others.

Jin Ling still hasn’t gotten used to eating at the Chief Cultivator’s table, even if Hanguang-jun is technically his uncle now. Sometimes Hanguang-jun even does the cooking, and feeds Wei-dajiu with his own chopsticks while everyone else watches, and then Jin Ling tries to choke himself to death on the bamboo shoots in his yan du xian before deciding that Lanling can’t afford to lose the first decent zongzhu it’s had since his great-grandfather’s time.

“I wish I was married,” Ouyang Zizhen sighs dreamily, resting his cheek on his hand as Xiao-Yu tries to steal his dumplings next. On his other side, A-Qing’s cheeks flush crimson, and she stares resolutely down at her hands while Hanguang-jun offers her a plate of savory vegetables. “It looks so nice, Wei-qianbei.”

“It is nice,” Wei-dajiui winks—and oh, gross, because Hanguang-jun is blushing now, and staring at Wei Wuxian as if he’s the most amazing thing in the world. “Marrying Lan Zhan is the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Mm,” Hanguang-jun says quietly, putting a heaping spoonful of potato congee into his husband’s bowl. “Wei Ying is the best thing that happened to me, too.”

Ouyang Zizhen wails.

“What, you want an arranged marriage?” Wei-dajiu frowns. “ I never went through the process myself—” and Hanguang-jun reaches out and squeezes Wei-dajiu’s waist, as if even thinking about Wei-dajiu seeing a matchmaker was too much— “and I don’t really know anyone who did, since Yunmeng’s a lot freer about these things. Are you sure, Jingyi?”

“I’m not asking for a matchmaker,” Jingyi says, tossing his long ponytail over his shoulder. “I want to know what to look for if my love of a lifetime comes along. So what were you looking for?”

“Nothing when I was your age, A-Yi. I thought I would spend my whole life at Lotus Pier, and marry one of the shijies or shimeis who liked me. But then I met Lan Zhan, and…”

And then his ideal became Hanguang-jun, Jin Ling finishes, chewing on a mouthful of mustard greens. Everyone knows that, Jingyi!

Unfortunately, the conversation doesn’t end there. It goes on for the better part of an hour, and all through the course of coconut pudding Hanguang-jun made for dessert, and Jin Ling can’t even leave because that would be rude, and the food is too good to pass up even if Ouyang Zizhen wants to ask about kissing now.

“How old is old enough to have your first kiss?” he inquires, while Lan Sizhui giggles into his hands and elbows Zizhen to make him stop. “I’m sixteen, so is that too young?”

“I was thirty-eight when I first kissed Wei Ying,” Hanguang-jun says dryly. “I would advise patience, unless Ouyang-gongzi already has a beloved one in mind.”

Jin Ling wants to die. Why is his extended family like this?

“Pudding tax,” Xiao-Yu announces from his lap. “Ling-gege, can A-Yu have a bite?”

“I’m Sect Leader Jin, though. I don’t have to pay you taxes.”

Xiao-Yu gives him a serious little nod before turning to Sizhui. “Yuan-gege, pay pudding taxes.”

“You’ve had enough pudding,” Sizhui scolds; and indeed, the dishes are mostly empty now, except for the serving bowls in the middle of the table. “Come on, A-Yu. Let’s go visit the rabbits.”

They end up at the rabbit field about ten minutes later, after Jingyi and Sizhui help Hanguang-jun with the dishes. Jin Ling thinks it must make a very strange picture: after all, one doesn’t often see three Lan juniors, one Ouyang sect heir, one Jin sect leader, and one Lan baby lying in the grass with bunnies climbing over them. But the peace and quiet is beautifully welcome after the political unrest in Lanling and the dog food in Wei-dajiu’s tiny kitchen, so Jin Ling closes his eyes and settles down for a nap with a small white rabbit on his chest.

“I think Shufu was right,” he hears A-Qing say. “There’s no point in having a list of requirements. Look at what happened to Jiang-zongzhu.”

“His first list was terrible, though,” Zizhen objects. “And he’s going to be married by next spring, so it worked for him in the end. After he fixed his requirements, I mean.”

“Gossipping is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses,” Sizhui says tranquilly. “And what Father meant was that having a list means you might miss your fated one when they come along, so it’s best to think about what you want, instead of what your beloved should be.”

“I’d like it if my wife liked to eat my cooking,” sighs Zizhen—he’s an excellent cook, too, and Jin Ling knows for a fact that A-Qing’s favorite food is the shrimp and water spinach Zizhen’s mother taught him to make. “Then I could cook, and she could wash our children’s hands and bring them to the kitchen when I was done, and we would all eat together.”

“I think I’d like a husband who knew how to do my hair,” A-Qing says, not even trying to be subtle. Jin Ling has seen the combs Zizhen keeps giving her, even if they’re far too young for a courtship, and Zizhen is always the first to offer assistance whenever A-Qing’s hair falls out of its bun. “Even a plain bun is too hard for me, since my hair’s so bushy.”

Zizhen nearly drops his rabbit. “Oh,” he whispers, blushing so hard that his neck turns red. “That’s good!”

Jin Ling wants to die. He can’t stand visiting Lotus Pier because his jiujiu is obviously courting, even if he won’t say he is, and now he’s going to have to watch A-Qing and Zizhen flirt until Zewu-jun and Ouyang-zongzhu give them permission to get married.

“What about you, Jingyi?”

“Huh? Oh, I want to marry someone who won’t mind how loud I am,” Jingyi shrugs. “Or someone even louder than me, so we can make trouble together. A-Yuan?”

“I haven’t really thought about it, actually,” Sizhui sighs. “I’m Zewu-jun’s heir, so I have to get married, but I’m not sure if I want to.”

A moment of silence.

“Then you won’t have to,” Jin Ling says. Everyone stares at him. “Zewu-jun didn’t get married, and Hanguang-jun wouldn’t have if Wei-dajiu didn’t come back to life. You can just choose an heir born to one of your cousins, since Jingyi was going to inherit the sect before Hanguang-jun adopted you.”

The others swoop in to assure Sizhui that no one’s going to make him get married, and Jin Ling folds his arms behind his head and wonders if his biao-ge could possibly be like Zewu-jun: a yi xin yi shen, whole in heart and body, who eschewed marriage in favor of cultivation. It would explain a lot, Jin Ling thinks, because even he knows what it feels like when someone makes his heart beat fast and his face turn pink, and Sizhui’s never felt that way.

(Jin Ling tries not to think of Nie-zongzhu’s hot-tempered archivist, who knocked him into the dust with her saber the last time he visited Qinghe and then told him he had pretty eyes. Nie Shiyong is a few years older than him, and he usually ends up nursing several new bruises each time he meets her, but Jin Ling is man enough to admit to himself that he likes her. Maybe.)

“Xiao-Yu is sleepy,” little A-Yu says, interrupting his embarrassing train of thought before it can go any further. “Yuan-gege, I have a nap?”

“You can just sleep here,” Jingyi suggests. “The grass is soft enough, right? And you can use one of us for a pillow.”

“Jingyi,” Sizhui chides, and Jin Ling hears the long grass rustling as his cousin gets to his feet. “Come on, A-Yu. I’ll take you home to A-Niang.”

“No need,” someone else says; and that’s Hanguang-jun’s voice, coming up the hill from the direction of the jingshi. “I am here. A-Yu, come.”

Jin Ling scrambles up to greet his uncle by marriage (sect leader or not, jiujiu would kill him if he greeted the Chief Cultivator from the ground) and then he reels back and blinks in surprise, because Hanguang-jun’s hair is up in a loose braid instead of a half-topknot, and somebody seems to have decorated the braid with a row of half-bloomed lotus flowers.

“Wei Ying did it,” Hanguang-jun says, with a small, soft smile that makes Sizhui and the others gasp. “He will do the same for your hair, too, if you ask.”

And then he lifts Xiao-Yu up into his arms and carries him away, leaving Jin Ling still frozen mid-bow with Jingyi and Zizhen gaping behind him.

“I think what Hanguang-jun meant is that the first requirement for marriage is love,” Lan Sizhui remarks, when Jin Ling finally snaps his mouth shut. “And that no matter what we want, or think we want, we shouldn’t settle for less.”

(Jin Ling is the first of his friends to marry, and he never forgets his biao-ge’s advice until the end of his days.)

#wangxian #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #jin ling #my fic

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i-am-an-idiot · 3 years

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He ran through the city with nothing but a stick he picked up from a nearby tree and the clothes on his back, the store owner was still chasing him, he turned into an alleyway, “almost there, five more minutes” He dropped out of school three years ago, now he’s seventeen and trying his best to survive. “You! Get back here!” “Crap crap crap” He ran faster and faster until he got to the bridge and got on the edge “Kid! Get down from there! If you jump you die!” the store owner seemed less worried about him and more about the five hundred dollars in his back pocket “No, I'd rather jump than get caught by you, mom!” She was livid, she started running after her son, as soon as she took the first step, “Seya next year!” He yelled as he jumped off the bridge and started falling into the lake hundreds of feet below, he kept a hold of his stick, pushed it straight down, and dove. When he opened his eyes he was swimming in the lake, family hundreds of feet above him, and started swimming with the current into the tropics, where he had been camping out for a few months, when he got there another boy came running up to him and hugged him, “You’re back! Thank god!” the boy grabbed his shoulders “You need to stop being so reckless, Rave! You could have gotten hurt!” Rave hugged the boy “I'm fine Elijah, see? Nothing to worry about!” Elijah hugged Rave back, hiding his face in rave’s shoulders “still, i was worried” When he let go, Rave sat down at the log around the campfire. “I got a little bit of the old' hags money, i could only get about five hundred bucks though, if i got anymore i would be in jail right now.” “You getting the money is the least of my worries” Elijah was scrounging around the little hut they built to keep warm, and came out with some cooked fish and some lettuce he got from the little garden behind the hut. “I just want to be able to get better a cooking with a fire right now” Elijah was also seventeen, he ran away from his family when he was fourteen, he had been here a little bit longer then Rave, he didn't mind when he moved in with him though, the way he saw it is another person to help garden, clean the hut, and hunt. Elijah couldn't throw a spear or even hold one right, let alone kill an animal, but rave could, so Rave hunted and Elijah cooked, it was a nice life, but a hard one. “Hey, Rave!” “Yeah?” “Do you know where the other clothes are? Or do we need to make more.” “I think i can fix the ones that i'm wearing right now, other then that, we need to make more” “Ok!” Rave was also good at sewing, that and hunting are the few things he can do to help around the camp, Elijah can skin animals so that's what most of their clothes are made of, but the skin that they can get is always weak, so it normally is ruined the third time they wear it, they use money to get some decent clothes when they need it, other then that, they can get by on their own, if you’re wondering why they don’t just get a job, it’s because the stores that need jobs only accept adults and people with a house to live in, and these two are known to live in the woods and cause trouble, so they are left on their own to survive A few hours later Elijah comes out from the hut wearing some of the nice clothes they have, and rave was finishing up two outfits. “And… done!” “Wow, I forgot how good you are at that, we should just buy some good cloth and have you sew that into clothes.” “You can! Besides you’re already dressed for it, and i'm not going back into town, i just got back” “Or, you just don’t want to get chased by your mom and the cops” Rave set the clothes on a low hanging tree branch, as elijah smiled “Come on! I’m kidding, I'll go into town to get the materials, it’s only fair! You did just get back anyway” “You have fun with that Elijah, I'm going to bed, it’s getting dark out.” “Ok, goodnight” Rave went back into the hut and Elijah went out into the city to get cloth for clothes. *** The next morning Rave woke up, Elijah was still asleep in the small pile of cloth he bought a while ago to make some blankets, he

gave up after a week. Rave smiled and went outside and got some sticks, he’s been working on making a house for a few weeks now, the little hut has been getting cramped “Rave? Please don’t tell me you’re up already” “Whoops! Sorry about that.” he wasn’t sorry. Elijah came out of the hut blurry eyed and still tired “It's three a.m right? You need to come back to bed.” “It’s four a.m, not that early” “Yeah right, come on.” Elijah had to drag Rave back to bed before he himself fell back asleep

In the morning, Rave was still asleep when Elijah woke back up, he went outside and started cooking breakfast. *flashback* Rave was 5, running around the yard, his sister 7, chasing after him ¨you'll never take me alive!¨ rave yelled, he was happy and giggling ¨ Come back here! I can get you!¨ his sister was brunette with dark green eyes, like a meadow in the breeze Their mom comes out of the house, smiling. ¨Come on in you two! Dinners ready!¨ ¨okay!¨ the two run in laughing and sit down at the table, Raves older brother is already sitting at the table *end of flashback*

Rave shot up out of his bed, breathing in and out sharply. After he calmed down, Elijah comes in and smiles “Took you long enough, sleepy head, come outside, i made breakfast and you need to start on the clothes” Rave smiled at the boy, and got up to change into his one use clothes. When he walked outside he was ambushed with the smell of bacon and pancakes, “No. way. How did you get the ingredients?” Rave asked, gleaming “I used the little bit of money we had left from the fabric and i got us a cow and two chickens,” “Wait- how? Both of those things, you couldn't get with eight hundred bucks! Let alone less… than.. five hundred- no… you wouldn't have the guts!” Rave had a shocked expression on his face, like you just gave him three hundred dollars for free “If you're thinking I stole them, you would be right, we could use the money we get from the milk from the cow, and eggs from the chickens. Besides the farmer I took them from wasnt even taking care of them, and we could use the extra food.” Rave muttered something under his breath, which Elijah didn't hear. “What was that? I didn't hear you,” as Elijah said that, Rave blushed “U-uh nothing, it wasn't important.” he gave Rave a “mhm” and continued making eggs as Rave finished the first set of clothes. ***

¨It's been too long… where is he?¨ Raves sister is pacing back and forth, 2 weeks after Rave ran away, she was in front of a bus stop where they used to meet up every saturday.

#write #writeblr

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chrismho · 4 years

Text

Lakmé

Summary: Is this not the closest I’ve ever been to living? The Kurosaki Family invites Rukia along with them to the Opera. Ichiruki/Rukia-centric one-shot inspired by the opera scene in Moonstruck. Set a little bit after FB arc.

PS: It’s a pretty famous song but if you haven’t heard Flower Duet before, I highly rec you give this rendition a listen, it’s breathtaking! : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9NK-EbUAao

“ICHIGOOOOOOO! RUKI-CHAAAAAN!”

SMACK!

A day in the Kurosaki household was not complete without at least one collision between Isshin’s face and either Ichigo’s foot or fist.

“I don't know how many times I have to tell you, old man: QUIT DOING THAT!” Ichigo roared, swiftly kicking his father back to the other side of the living room.

Rukia waited patiently for Isshin to complete this strange ritual, a fond smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “Oh, Masaki!” Isshin sobbed, throwing himself upon his poster. “H-how cruel, how unloving our son has become! And Rukia at his side, so pure and lovely! W-we truly have here a beauty and the beast!”

“SHUT IT!”

The dark-haired shinigami watched them butt heads and felt a vague sense of nostalgia swirl inside her. I didn’t realize how much I…missed this, she silently admitted to herself. Seventeen months had passed and Rukia kept herself busy with work--very busy. Too busy to stop and realize just how much she missed life in Karakura. But now that she was back, the realization was sudden and overwhelming; she missed late night hollow-hunting, the bustling hallways at Karakura High, she missed Keigo, Mizuiro, Tatsuki, she missed indulging in her schoolgirl act, pretending that she was human and truly one of them. But most of all, she missed him. That was a realization that had set Rukia very much on edge. Ichigo was a comrade, a partner, a friend. A friend she found herself pining for in those seventeen months. She recalled a saying she learned in the human world, something along the lines of “absence makes the heart grow fonder”.

Absence had only made Rukia’s heart confused as hell.

Though almost two years had passed, her relationship with Ichigo picked up almost right where they left off. They bickered, laughed, they understood each other without need for words. But…now there was something new. No, not new; it had always been there. But now....now it was loud. And hard to ignore. It was something that Rukia couldn’t quite name, but its presence was undeniable. It wasn’t uncomfortable...but… but it was there.

“What do you say, Rukia-chan? Oh, please say you’ll be joining us?”

Isshin’s question snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Eh? I-I’m sorry?” she asked, startled.

“THE OPERA! An old buddy and colleague of mine has season tickets to the opera house here in Karakura. He’s away on a business trip so he gave me tickets to tomorrow’s show. We haven’t seen you in so long, the girls would just love if you came! SAY YOU’LL JOIN US!”

“Don’t push her, Dad!” Ichigo said irritably. He turned to Rukia but didn’t meet her gaze. “Seriously, y-you don’t have to go. It’s really boring, the last time I went I wanted to die-”

“OH, BUT THAT’S NOT TRUE,” Isshin cut off gleefully, shoving Ichigo out of the way and putting an arm around Rukia. “The last time we went, Ichigo was but a boy. Though only eight at the time, he was so moved by the performance that he wept and blubbered all night long--”

“HEY! N-NO I DIDN’T!”

“Yes, you did!” Karin called boredly from the kitchen.

Ichigo hunched up his shoulders and scowled, his ears and cheeks an angry shade of red.

“I’d be delighted to attend this...this ‘op-ohr-a’, Mr. Kurosaki!” Rukia declared, a cheerful and sparkly smile on her face. “Excellent! Come tomorrow evening at 7, and dress your very best, my dear! The opera is a most formal event,” Isshin beamed.

“Whatever. And get your arm off her!” Ichigo grumbled, yanking Rukia away from his father and up the stairs to his room.

“Ah, young love,” Isshin sighed after them. “Eager to get her to your bedroom, I see? Yes, yes, I’m sure you have a lot of catching up to do, if you catch my drift--”

“SHUT UP!” Ichigo screamed over his shoulder. He hurried Rukia inside his room and slammed the door shut.

“Nice to see the family dynamic hasn’t changed,” Rukia said, a sly smile on her face. She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall alongside his bed.

“1000 Yen says my dad’s got an ear pressed up to the door right now,” Ichigo replied. He sounded annoyed but there was a humorous glint in his eye. He looked up and met her gaze. They both dissolved into a quiet, gentle chuckle.

“Feel free to sit, you know,” Ichigo said, gesturing towards the bed. “I know it’s been a while but time’s never stopped you from acting like you own this place.”

“No, that’s okay. I’m fine here,” Rukia responded, cursing herself for answering him a little too vehemently. Ichigo looked at her questioningly, and Rukia could have sworn she saw a very, very faint blush creep on his cheeks. A moment of silence passed.

Tension. That’s what it was.

“So what is this opera thing, anyway? I just realized I agreed to something I know nothing about,” Rukia asked, eager to change the subject and genuinely curious about this “most formal event” that moved a young Ichigo to tears.

“It’s, uh, like a play. But with only singing. Really loud, annoying singing. And fancy costumes. And they usually end in tragedy.” Ichigo said, scratching the back of his head.

Her amusement at his fumbling explanation made Rukia forget her discomfort earlier. She smirked and flopped onto his bed. “Sounds like fun. So this loud, annoying play moved you to tears, eh?”

“IT DID NOT-Hmph, *ahem*, It did not move me to tears, I told you already that I found it boring. And I SAID YOU COULD SIT ON MY BED, NOT LIE ON IT!”

“Oh, Daddy, th-they’re on his bed already! They certainly are fast, aren’t they?” a muffled voice that sounded suspiciously like Yuzu’s could be heard saying from the other side of the door.

Ichigo’s left eye twitched.

He swung the door open and Isshin and Yuzu tumbled onto the floor. “SCRAM!” He roared, shaking his fist as they hurriedly fled the scene.

_____

Giant, crystal chandeliers hung over the U-shaped hall, twinkling prettily in the warm, golden light. The house was packed with many well-dressed and well-to-do people. The euphony of various conversations and chatter rang pleasantly in the air. If Ichigo had been moved to tears by the place alone, Rukia would understand; it was truly, truly beautiful. She tilted her head back, taking in the glittering chandeliers and intricate paintings of flowers and stars on the ceiling. She must have looked visibly awestruck, for she turned to her side to find Ichigo looking back at her, an odd, almost tender smile on his face. She gave him a sharp elbow in the ribs. “What? What’s with that dumb look?” She snapped.

“AGH! What the hell, Rukia?” He glared, letting out a sharp exhale before putting on another smile, this one more teasing. “N-nothing, I was just thinking...the last time I was here as a kid, I remember looking up at the paintings on the ceiling and counting all the stars as a way to pass the time. I guess I was just wondering if you were doing the same.”

Rukia blinked. It was rare for Ichigo to divulge….well, really anything about his past and his memories. To share this random little anecdote felt oddly intimate. She felt her cheeks warm slightly and turned away. “Heh, no I wasn’t counting, I was just...admiring. She looked back up and couldn’t help but laugh. “Ichigo, there are hundreds of stars, up there! Did you really count them all?” He looked up too and smiled wryly, shaking his head. “Nah, the show always started and the lights would go off before I ever finished. But...I like that I don’t know. It’s this weird, unfinished mystery that just...stays up there on the ceiling, y’know?”

His amber eyes and fiery-orange hair glowed in the warm light of the hall. He glowed. Does he even know how handsome he looks in that stupid tux? Rukia thought, torn between feeling endeared and annoyed. And spewing out weird, lovely musings like that, too. What an idiot.

She looked down at the program in her lap. In intricate, gold cursive, the words Lakmé: Opera en 3 Actes shone smack dab in the middle. “Is...is this in French?” she asked. “Yeah, but it’s okay; you see those black screens above the curtains up there? They’ll have translations…”

The lights began to dim.

Quickly, stealthily, Ichigo stole one last look at Rukia in full light. She was already a beautiful woman but tonight she practically glowed. With the help of Yuzu and Karin, she had parted her cropped hair to one side and teased it into elegant waves. She had reluctantly let them put makeup on her, too, and Ichigo had a hard time keeping his eyes away from her lips, soft and painted red like a pomegranate. She was wearing a dress that Ishida had surprised her with a few weeks ago, a wine-colored sleeveless piece that gently hugged her form and flowed past her knees. Yeah. She glowed. It was annoying.

Y’know, I bet she knows exactly how good she looks and is only pretending to be oblivious. He thought. What an idiot.

The red velvet curtains pulled back to reveal what looked like a stone courtyard on stage, adorned with all sorts of plants and exotic flowers. But the set was nothing compared to the music that emanated from the pit in front of the stage. She’d never heard anything like this. Not on the streets of Rukongai, nor in the banquets and gatherings in Seireitei. What was it Ichigo had called them? An orchestra. An orchestra, an orchestra, an orchestra. She had to remember that word. How so many voices, so many different strange and wonderful-looking instruments, could come together and create a sound so unified and sweet amazed her.

A procession of people dressed in long, unstitched garments came onto the stage, singing words Rukia could not understand. A big man, clad in a costume beard and yellow robe, opened his mouth and began to sing a solo.

Rukia froze.

It was obvious what he was doing required much skill, but….he sounded...funny? Rukia narrowed her eyes and fought a smile, trying to reason with this deep voice that shook with such a fervent vibrato.

She heard a snicker two chairs away from her, and turned to see Karin in the dim light, her face contorted humorously. Rukia was about to join her before Isshin turned to his daughter with a glare so scary and dangerous that any humor at all in both Karin and Rukia was effectively vanquished.

So entranced was she by the costumes and lights and flutes and cellos that the dark-haired shinigami found herself forgetting to glance up at the translations above the stage. She looked just enough times to gather that this was set in a temple in which rites were being performed. The ritual ended, and as smoothly as they glided in, the singers drifted back off the stage, leaving behind two women.

The women, arm in arm, walked down to the “river” on stage to gather flowers. The one dressed in red turned to her companion and began to sing:

Viens, Mallika, les lianes en fleurs

Jettent déjà leur ombre

Sur le ruisseau sacré

qui coule, calme et sombre,

Eveillé par le chant des oiseaux tapageurs.

Rukia froze once more. This time, there was no urge to laugh. Goosebumps rose on her arms. Her ears tingled. What, Rukia thought shakily. What is this?

The other, dressed in a simpler, sun-colored dress answered her friend in a voice just as haunting and sweet:

Oh! maîtresse, c'est l'heure

où je te vois sourire,

L'heure bénie où je puis lire

Dans le coeur toujours fermé

De Lakmé!

Rukia clenched her teeth, maintaining a stone-cold Kuchiki expression while her soul inside shook and quaked.

What is this?

Dôme épais le jasmin

Sous le dôme épais où le blanc jasmin

Like flowers landing on the surface of a pond, their voices floated, glided, rippled through the hall, lighter than air.

À la rose s'assemble

The melody seemed to follow some invisible wave that drifted down, then up, then down, and down again. It was elegantly unpredictable, like the path a feather takes on the way to the ground.

Rukia’s throat caught. The swelling in her chest bewildered and almost angered her. This...this beauty was almost cruel. Her eyes felt hot. Her face remained expressionless.

Rive en fleurs, frais matin,

Sur la rive en fleurs, riant au matin,

I never did get the chance to understand what it is to live, Rukia thought. She had, in fact, died when she was only a baby.

I....could see traces of what life was in the youth and excitement of Ichigo and his friends...the sound of their laughter, their chatter about the future.

Nous appellent ensemble.

Viens, descendons ensemble.

With each rise and fall of their voices, Rukia felt as though her soul was expanding. The singers’ figures became blurry behind the tears that began to well in her eyes.

But this…this swelling in my chest, and the goosebumps on my skin. My throat...feels tight.

A tear broke free and began to trickle down her cheek.

Is this not the closest I’ve ever been to living?

Ichigo gazed steadily at the stage, letting himself float and drift with the melody. It was no wonder the Flower Duet was such a famous song, even to those unfamiliar with opera. He cleared his throat as quietly as he could and turned to check on Rukia. His jaw clenched.

Ah! glissons en suivant

Doucement glissons; De son flot charmant

She stood absolutely still, upright, her small, pale hands clenched into fists on her lap. She did not look at him. He watched with well-hidden astonishment as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She stared solemnly at the women on stage, blinking slowly. Her amethyst eyes glistened with the water and salt that filled them.

Le courant fuyant

Suivons le courant fuyant

A lump began to form in Ichigo’s throat. He turned away, back to the stage. He couldn’t put into words what she was feeling, but he felt he understood it. He didn’t want to intrude on her moment, but he also wanted to let her know that she was not alone. Even when they were worlds apart, he’d find a way to reach her. Slowly, his hand moved towards hers.

His fingertips lightly brushed her wrist, and traveled up towards the back of her hand.

Rukia kept her eyes fixed on the singers. She gave no indication that she even noticed his hand on hers. A twinge of disappointment and embarrassment stung him. I...probably ruined her moment. I shouldn’t have-

His heart stopped. Silently, suddenly, the slender, cold hand seized his own. She intertwined her fingers with his and squeezed lightly. She did not look at him.

Dans l'onde frémissante,

Dans l’onde frémissante

To this day Ichigo couldn’t say what the hell compelled him to do what he did next. Maybe it was the nearly two years of separation, or the swelling music and stupid, glittering, chandeliers messing with his head, or the way she gripped his fingers with such a quiet and loving intensity, or a mix of all of those things. Slowly, he raised her hand up, off her lap.

D'une main nonchalante,

D’une main nonchalante,

Rukia stirred, tilting her head slightly towards him. He brought her hand up to his face and slowly, gently, firmly, pressed his lips against her knuckles. Rukia’s eyes flashed wide open, and now she turned to look at him. Another tear rolled silently down her otherwise stoic face. Ichigo opened his eyes and looked back at her.

Dôme épais, blanc jasmin,

Sous le dôme épais, Sous le blanc jasmin,

Nothing was said, but a thousand words were exchanged between them. Ichigo lowered her hand but did not let go. They held their gaze for a moment longer, then turned their heads back towards the stage.

Nous appellent ensemble!

Ah! descendons ensemble!

#ichiruki #lakme #sooo sappy hehe opera makes me WEAK #im literally frasier #ichigo kurosaki #rukia kuchiki #ichiruki fanfiction #deathberry

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hieludoboi · 4 years

Text

A List of Things I’d Like to do With You (Pt 2/9)

A/n- This is still going to be a lil sad, but not as bad. This first escapade isn’t that detailed, but lemme tell you, the next one, I plan on making people cry :3

Links to parts 1 and 3- Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

A/n- Ight I lied, the beginning of this is going to be pretty sad :(

This one was pretty long and for some reason took forever to write! But anyways, here’s your reminder to please send in requests, I love doing them and they always get my brain going!

Trigger Warnings- Vomit, blood, depictions of terminal illness, underage drinking, a little suggestive, cemetery, crying, just v sad, please proceed with caution :(

Pairing- Daichi/Fem!Reader

Summary- Though she was in pain, he had never known. Because her list had been made.

She felt numb. A routine appointment landed her in the hospital. Her stomach was coursing with this unimaginable pain, rippling from her abdomen up to her spine. Were stomach aches supposed to give you headaches? God this felt like the worst hangover of her life. As she groaned and curled up on the hospital bed, her body jolted forward. In an instant her mother was holding her hair back, her father holding a bag to her open mouth. She could feel the heaves rack her body, stripping her of oxygen, constricting her lungs and stomach.

She had stayed like that for what seemed like ages, her body hunched over a bag of sick while her mother rubbed her back. Her body trembled, face sickly and pale. When had it gotten this bad? When had it started? Why had she kept this to herself until now? What if it was terminal, what if it could have been treated if she came in when it had started.

Y/n managed to sob between heaves, her hands shaking as she wrapped her arms around her middle. Was it second year? Was that when the unimaginable stomach aches began? Or was that when her drastic weight loss began to eat away at her body? Y/n gagged as tightly squeezed her mother’s hand, the metallic taste of blood coating her mouth, the sounds of her mother’s cries ringing around her ears.

It all happened in a blur, the tests, the scans, the somber talks of treatments, and lifespan. It was stomach cancer, stage four, and terminal. While her parents sobbed, Y/n sat still. Terminal? Stomach cancer? How? Why? She was supposed to graduate this year, watch the boys go to finals, watch them win nationals. She still had to grow old with Daichi, get married, start a family where Suga was the godfather, and the second years the uncles. She still hadn’t gotten her first sip of alcohol, or done any drugs, she still hadn’t told Daichi that she loved him.

It wasn’t until her parents calmed down that she finally broke. She was going to die in 5 months, maybe sooner. How had she not noticed? She was getting thinner, her stomach pain had caused her to faint, she was vomiting every other day and could barely eat. How had she not noticed? Why did she put it off?

She went home that afternoon with a bag of medicines in her hand. There was no way they could treat it until it was gone, but they could give her medicine to keep the pain and symptoms at bay. Her mother entered the house with a dull look in her eyes, her father headed straight for their bedroom. It made her feel angry in a fucked up way. She was the one who was going to die, so why were they acting like they were going to die?

With teary eyes trudged to her room, gently sitting on the edge of her bed. There was still so much she wanted to do. So many escapades, and only five months to do them. She forced herself to smile when she sat at her desk. She was going to be happy these last few months. She was going to go to every game, she was going to hang out with Daichi every day, she was going to make a list of things she’s like to do with Daichi and complete it before her time came to an end. With a completed list, she looked towards the words at the bottom.

“Number eight. Get drunk with Daichi.” Y/n nodded her head as she read the first things off the list. She’d be damned if she left before getting properly shitfaced. The thought of getting drunk scared her just a little bit, but if she was Daichi, she was bound to be okay. No matter what, she was going to make sure that he made only good memories with her before she left.

Daichi had stared at his phone in amusement for about two minutes now. Y/n had sent him a photo of her posing in front of her mother’s liquor cabinet. She wanted to get shitfaced is what she told Daichi. Not expecting to actually get drunk, Daichi had made his way to her home. Living in the same neighborhood had come with major perks when it came to situations like these.

Daichi knew the type of person she was. In some way she was like Noya, a fiery, energetic, do now think later type of person. Still, knowing who she was could not prepare Daichi for the ungodly amount of bottles on the kitchen table. She was serious?

“You were serious?” Daichi stared at the table in disbelief before locking eyes with Y/n who had a closed-eyed grin on her face. “Y/n, I came to hang out, not get hammered. You’re going to turn eighteen in what, half a year? We can wait til then.” Daichi tried reasoning, but it was then that he saw this look cross her face in a fraction of a second.

Y/n could feel the breath get caught in her throat. If she were lucky, she could enjoy almost five whole months. The doctors were being generous, but it was more likely that she’d be gone in the next three months. Y/n bit her lip and looked at the table of liquor, hoping that he hadn’t caught the grim look that flashed across her face. She didn’t have enough time, but how could she explain that to him?

“Daichi, with the career I want, I won’t have time to get hammered! I want to be reckless and live my life while I can! I’m not going to wait until I’m thirty-seven with a stable job, a nice home, a big family, and a husband to act like I’m seventeen!” Daichi chuckled, shaking his head in amusement before joining her at the table stacked of liquor.

“Alright. I guess you’ve got a point. So, how are we doing this?” Daichi asked as he grabbed one of the glass bottles, opening it and taking a sniff before recoiling at the strong smell. Y/n giggled before grabbing the bottle from him and setting it back on the table.

“Easiest way is to play a drinking game! So let’s pick a show and set up some rules.” Daichi nodded, grinning at the ‘serious expression’ on her face. While she busied herself in finding a show and picking some rules, Daichi stayed in the kitchen, sifting through bottles and shot glasses. She was acting strange, something wasn’t right. She felt dim, a bit cold, and far too serious. Daichi bit his bottom lip, staring at the bottle of Bacardi that sat on the table before him. He was going to figure out what was wrong. He just had to figure out how.

“Daichi! You got the bottles picked out yet?” He jumped back a bit, her voice suddenly breaking him out of his thoughts. Quickly, he grabbed a random five bottles and two shot glasses that resembled cups more than shots. He set them on the coffee table, arranging them before sinking into the couch, his arm wrapping around Y/n’s waist, pulling her snug into his side. He watched with a smile as she cuddled into his side, a soft smile on her lips while she leaned into his touch.

He stared at her lips as she animatedly talked about the drinking game and the show she had picked out. Daichi heard none of it though, he was trapped by the movement of her soft lips, pleasantly focused on the little shine of light that her recently applied lip balm seemed to reflect. He could kiss her right now, hold her face in his hands, melt against her lips, be enveloped by the warmth and light her body endlessly created.

“Got it?” Daichi blinked, his eyes darting back up to see the silly smile spread across her face. Daichi could feel the blush begin to spread across his cheeks, but he ignored it, reciprocating a smile before filling up their shot glasses with some Jose Cuervo. “Ready?” Y/n had this glint in her eyes as she picked up her shot glass, her body buzzing with chaotic energy. Daichi nodded, picking up his glass and clinking it with her glass before downing the shot. Y/n giggled as Daichi winced, poking fun at the faces he was making before downing the shot in a less than graceful fashion. -------------------------------------------------- Her throat had become numb with each shot of tequila, her mind pulling blanks whenever Daichi would drunkenly ask her a question. At this point, she couldn't tell if she was nauseous because of all the alcohol in her system or because of sick that was prodding at her esophagus. Still, she carried on, downing shot after shot of burning liquor.

When she looked to her left, Daichi was hiccuping, giggling at the sounds that tumbled from his lips. She was focused on the way the liquor coated his lips, making them shine in the dim living room light. They looked pretty, just a little pink, and the slightest bit puffy. Maybe it was liquor, maybe it was the illness, or maybe it was just because of how hard she was focused on his lips, but in seconds she was rushing to the bathroom. Even in her drunken state, she managed to close and lock the door. No matter what, she was going to make sure Daichi didn't know.

It was the same as always, her hands would grip onto the edge of the toilet seat until her fingers became a sickly grey. Her body would tremble with heaves and gags while the sweat from her forehead would drip into her tired eyes. As soon as she would finish she would stand and stare at herself in the mirror, admiring the way the blood tainted and stained her quivering lips. It was funny to her, the way she managed to find some crooked beauty in the illness that was stripping the life from her body with each second that passed. It was routine, no matter how grizzly it felt and looked. So with a sigh, she finished her grizzly routine and trudged back to the couch where Daichi had fallen into a slumber of liquor. ---------------------- How many shots had they had? Y/n couldn’t tell anymore. Daichi was seated next to her, drunkenly giggling at everything that happened on the tv before him. His speech was slurred, his smile crooked and his eyes drooping just a bit. In her drunken state, Daichi appeared like some greek sex god, perfectly chiseled with a beautiful sheen coating his lips. Maybe it was the alcohol but she went from horny to sad in two seconds.

“Man, can you believe I’m going to die a virgin?” Y/n slurred, hiccuping between some words. At that moment, it was like the alcohol began to drain from his system. Daichi sat up from his previously slouched position, the haze in his eyes clearing as he turned to look at Y/n who was practically a starfish on the couch. Was this what she had been worrying about? Dying a virgin? Why would she die a virgin? She still had plenty of years waiting for her.

“What do you mean? You’ve got plenty of years to look for that one person.” Daichi tilted his head, his eyes widening as she practically threw herself on top of him. Her head was resting in the crook of his neck, her arms wrapping around his body. Daichi gently wrapped his arms around her, almost flinching when the first few hot tears fell onto his bare neck. Was it the alcohol? Did something happen?

“Please... Please just tell me you’ll be here until the end, please just tell me it’s going to be okay...” He could feel the way her body trembled against his, her hands balling the material of his shirt into her fists. He could hear the shaky breaths and stutters that would escape from her lips. Had he missed something? Did the liquor screw her over that bad? Although that sudden confession had sobered him up a bit, the murky haze of tequila still fogged his mind.

"Of course I’m gonna be here until the end. We’re friends until the end, remember? No matter what happens we’ll be together, always.” His hand gently rested atop her head, his other hand rubbing her back to soothe the ache that radiated from her chest. “I’ll always be by your side, okay? As long as the sun rises and sets, I’ll be here.” Daichi whispered, his lips pressing against the top of her head, watching with a tender gaze as she fell asleep. --------------------------------------------------- When Y/n woke up she was wrapped up in a blanket on the couch. Daichi was gone and the bottles and shot glasses were put away in their cabinet. When she looked at the coffee table she saw a yogurt drink and fruit sandwich, a snack that Daichi would often leave her when he had to leave early for whatever reason. She could feel a smile forming on her face as she tossed the blanket to the side, stretching her arms above her head before reaching to grab the drink. Before her fingers could even brush against the pink bottle, she felt a sudden burst of nausea ram her head and throat. She stood as quickly as she could, her legs doing their best to rush her to the restroom.

She felt her knees hit the cold bathroom floor, her body practically folding in on itself. Her throat was burning, the bitter taste of vomit mixing with the metallic taste of blood as her mouth hung open. Tears dripped from her cheeks before hitting the curve of the toilet seat mixing in with stray droplets of blood and sick. Her body fell back, hitting the bathroom wall and jolting her from her nauseous trance. With trembling hands, she wiped the sick from her mouth. She was crying, the sting of her throat, and the terrible ache in her stomach becoming unbearable. She stayed on the floor like that for a good minute, trying her hardest to catch her breath, but it felt like fire rushing her throat with each breath she took.

She sobbed as she grabbed onto the edge of the sink, forcing herself to stand no matter how badly her aching body protested. All she had to do was stand and open the medicine cabinet, that’s all she had to do and she could finally rest. Her hands gripped onto the edge of the sink with such force that her knuckles began to pale. Each breath she took rattled her bones, the wheezing becoming much more prominent the longer she held herself up. She couldn’t tell if it was her body recoiling from her illness or if it was her body rejecting the copious amount of alcohol she drank. The doctor did warn her to not take alcohol with her medication, but what did she have to lose right? It was times like these that Y/n was convinced that her parents feared her death more than her.

She of course understood why they felt broken, they were going to lose their daughter, but it should have been all the more reason to make these last few months count. Y/n shook her head as she grabbed her bottles of pills from the cabinet. She was going to make sure she kept her pain under control. No one had to know what was going on with her, she didn’t want people to treat her differently just because she was on the cusp of death.

She could see it now, people being especially nice to her, everyone being careful of what they say to her, Daichi, Suga, and Asahi tending to her every need. It wasn’t something she wanted to live with, after all, she was a prideful person and pity didn’t sit right with her. She was almost too weak to twist the top, her muscles aching as she strained to open the bottle. It's okay, Y/n thought to herself, a sad smile on her lips.

She had trudged to her room almost immediately after taking her pills, her body collapsing against the firm mattress. Maybe it wasn’t healthy, the fact that she didn’t think about it. Maybe she should have paid attention to it, but who wanted to think about their impending death? And so with a depressive sigh, she let her body sink into the cradling arms of sleep, her mind nestling deep into her future escapades with Daichi.

“Number 7, spend a night stargazing.” ------------------------------- Daichi had been anything but focused during practice. At this point, he had run more laps than Noya and Tanaka combined and had done the most dives out of everyone on the team. He was missing passes left and right, consistently coming in short on one thing or another. Though perhaps, what scared his teammates the most was the empty look in his eyes. Had something happened? “Noya.” They were putting away equipment when Daichi spoke. His voice and words hung heavy in the air, dragging enough to weigh down clouds. Noya turned abruptly, his eyes wide. “What’s that one joke about never losing you, Tanaka, and Y/n make all the time?” Daichi questioned, his eyes focused on the handle of the mop in his hands.

“I’m gonna die a virgin, cause I ain’t ever lose, why?” Noya stared at Daichi, desperately awaiting a response from his out of character captain. Daichi could feel his eyebrows furrow as his mind began to race. Was he looking too deep into it?

Daichi pondered the same thing over and over again while laying on his bed. Y/n was a silly person, there wasn’t a day that went by where one stupid joke after another burst from her lips. Maybe he just missed the joke?

--------------------

Daichi sighed as he turned onto his side, his eyes locking onto the evergrowing stack of polaroids that sat on his desk. It had become an unintentional tradition. Every year they would take a trip and on that trip, they would always take a photo. She was always beaming in those photos, her smile as radiant as ever. She was herself in those photos, and Daichi couldn't help but notice that she became less and less like herself this past year. He had to be imagining it though, right? ---------------------------------- Suga stared at Daichi with sad eyes. He looked happy, giving vague details over one of the last nights he had spent with her. Perhaps it was still too fresh, the wound of her death would not heal for a while. With time Daichi would probably be able to give more detailed descriptions, but not now. Not here.

"I find it ironic. I spent most of my life taking care of her. I spent most of my life making sure she didn't get in trouble, and even when she did, I would get her out of it." Daichi's voice was shaking, his hands balling into fists at his sides. The tears began to pool into his eyes once more, his jaw clenching. "I spent so much time taking care of her, and in the end, she was the one looking out for me. She made sure I was happy. She made sure I was sheltered. She worked so hard to build stability for us those last few months, but nothing could have prepared us for the end." Suga took a step towards Daichi, flinching as Daichi abruptly stepped back, accidentally crushing the yellow chrysanthemums that sat atop her grave.

Daichi's head snapped down, staring at the yellow flowers with anger. Yellow chrysanthemums. They meant farewell, they meant goodbye, they meant that she was gone. Why couldn't people understand that she wasn't gone? Daichi shook his head before turning to leave the cemetery. He didn't want to be there any longer.

As Daichi left, Suga stared after him, a frown tugging at his lips. Suga sighed, crouching to try and fix the flowers back onto her grave with care. It was obvious to him that Daichi still needed to heal. He just hoped it would be soon, he knew that it was probably killing her to see Daichi in such a state.

"Y'know, you always were the only one that could calm him down. I just hope you can still cast your light on him, even if just for a moment, Y/n..." Suga whispered, smiling tenderly at the plot of land covered in white and yellow flowers before making his leave as well.

#daichi #sawamura daichi #daichi sawamura #daichi x reader #daichi x y/n #sawamura daichi x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #daichi angst #sugawara koushi #koushi sugawara #sad daichi #sad haikyuu #escapades

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thoradvice · 3 years

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tw depressive thoughts, suicidal ideation, conversoin therapy mention, homophobia, death, anxiety, panic attacks, overdose

hey thor, if you could please tag this with those and more that you see fit, i wouldn't want to trigger anyone, thank you.

but i've been struggling the past year with a lot. i'm bisexual, and my parents are extremely homophobic and i dont doubt that they would send me to conversation therapy if given the chance. my papa, the only person i truly ever think loved me, passed away four days before my birthday in september. my anxiety attacks have worsened so much that i get them when i get below a 85 on an assignment. i have to take care of my two little brothers almost entirely by myself. my mother couldn't give a shit about me and i haven't seen my dad since he found out my mom was pregnant with another mans baby. that was two months ago.

i'm only 15, but i dont wanna be here anymore. the only reason i haven't done anything yet is because of my little brothers. they're the only thing keeping me here. i hate myself. i'm the spitting image of my mother and i cant stand to look myself in the mirror. all i see is her screaming at me, telling me i'm worthless and i don't deserve to be here in anymore. i held a bottle of the strongest medicine in the cabinet this morning, and i was so close to locking the door and taking them. i don't know why i sent this in, but i feel like i've talked so much to my mutuals on here and at this point i'm boring them, like they dont care anymore.

im going back to my therapist in a couple weeks, and i have a feeling i'll be put back on my meds. i just want this feeling to go away. i dont want to feel like this anymore. i want to be there for my little brothers and my soon-to-be little sister. i want them to see me as their strong older sister, not the girl who cant go three hours without crying.

i want to get better, but i don't know how to do that thor.

hi there, honey. i’m so so beyond sorry that you feel like this. please know that you deserve so much better. you deserve loving, accepting parents. you deserve a happy life. you deserve to feel good. i’m also gonna take this one point at a time, and give advice on each, because i think that way i’ll be able to give the most in-depth help.

it’s hard to deal with homophobic parents. it really is. but you don’t owe them your sexuality. you never have to tell them, especially if your safety is threatened. i know how hard it is to be closeted and to know that your parents won’t & don’t support you. but there is so much more than your parents. you will meet so many people who love, accept and support you for who you are, no matter what. i’m a huge believer in found family, and i believe that you can find your family. know that you’re not wrong. your feelings aren’t wrong. you will never be perverted or bad or gross for being bisexual. it’s so much more than okay to be bi. your sexuality is beautiful.

your mother is wrong. so so wrong. you’re worth so much. you’re a living, breathing person. that alone gives you so much inherent worth. nothing and nobody, including your mom, can ever take that away from you. there’s nothing that you or anyone else can do that will ever make you worthless and anything less than a person who deserves the best that life has to offer. you may look like your mother, but that doesn’t make you like her. from this ask alone, i can tell that you’re a loving, caring and strong individual. your mom seems the opposite.

you do deserve to be here. so so much. you deserve so much more than you believe right now. i’m so sorry that anyone has ever made you feel otherwise, and even more sorry that you think that suicide is the only way out. i know that these words are easy to say, but they’re true. i’m not much older than you (almost seventeen) and i’ve tried to kill myself several times, more times than i want to think about. i never thought that i was worth anything, that i deserved to be here. i hated myself beyond belief and i saw so much of my past self in your words. i’m by no means recovered, and i do still want to die some of the time. but i know that i have worth, and that i deserve to be here. i know that i’m not a bad person, and that i’m loved. my point here is that there is a future beyond this. it’s only in the last eight or so months that i’ve begun to feel like this. hell, i planned a suicide attempt back in march. recovery is possible for you. please believe me when i say this. it will take time, and effort, and it’s going to be hard. but you’re worth it. you owe it to yourself - your eight year old self, your thirty year old self, and your seventy year old self - to give life a chance.

that’s good !! that’s beyond good. i’m proud of you for that. please talk to your therapist & be honest with how you’ve been feeling. your meds will almost definitely help with this, and you’ll start to feel better soon. if they don’t work well for you, you can ask your therapist if you can switch them. opening up to your therapist, though, will absolutely be the best step in feeling okay again.

you’re so strong. so so fucking strong. you’re dealing with all of this, and you’re still here. that’s amazing. you want to get better, and you’re trying to make that happen. i’m sure your brothers (+ future sister) treasure you and know just how strong you are. please know that i’m so proud of you. it takes so much strength to know that you want to recover, and to reach out like this, to talk about your feelings at all. you’re so loved and you’re worth so much. please come talk to me (via asks or messages. if you prefer other social media, i can give you my instagram) if you ever need anything at all. best of luck <3

#ask #cicicantblog #thor gives advice #recovery #tw suicide #tw homophobia #tw conversion therapy #tw anixety #tw overdose #ask to tag

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chronic-resus-needed · 4 years

Text

Going Home

Highschool romances rarely led to a lifetime partner, but that was the case for Hugo and Simon. Coming out to his conservative parents in high school wasn't easy for Hugo, but Simon was worth it and it was Simon and his family who took him after he own parents kicked him out. For the first time in four years Hugo was going to see his parents. He had been against it, but Simon was encouraging. He said Hugo deserved all the love in the world. So off the went. It was spring break, their last spring break before they finished college, so the two twenty-two year-olds decided to make a small road trip from their University in Chicago back to their hometown in Owensboro.

Hugo was nervous, he didn’t want to face a second rejection, but that wasn't why he kept stealing glances at Simon as he drove. Simon had been up half the night dealing with what seemed like the longest asthma attack in history. He had waved Hugo to bed each time he came out to check on his boyfriend who sat behind a nebulizer. Eventually they had both fallen asleep on the cheap futon in their tiny living room. Simon swore he was fine and up to the trip, but he still looked tired, his bright eyes duller than usual and when Hugo had awoken with his ear pressed to Simon's chest he could still hear a faint rattling with each breath. "What, do you want me to take over?" Simon joked as Hugo glanced over for the umpteenth time, "I'm fine. You're fine. This is going to be a good day." Hugo only mumbled under his breath making Simon laugh. He reached over from the passenger seat to rub Hugo's muscular back. "Everything is good."

They were almost two hours into their five our trip when Simon first coughed, there was nothing but endless highway before them. This was the dullest part of the drive. Simon reached behind into the back seat to grab his duffle bag, his chin length blond hair shielding his face as he did so. When he sat back up he brushed it behind his ears and began digging through the duffle bag. "You really should keep you rescue inhaler where you can find it," Hugo chided. Simon held up the yellow inhaler with a triumphant smirk, "I knew exactly where it was." Hugo shook his head, "Sure, under all the other crap you shoved in there because no one ever taught you how to pack."

"Don't make me laugh when I'm trying to breath," it was a joke, but his small chuckle did lead to coughing. Simon brought the yellow inhaler to his lips and took a deep lung filling breath of the medication. The affect was immediate and he felt his heart rate pick up from the albuterol. "See? Everything is fine." He leaned over and exhaled playfully into Hugo's face, "But I do need to pee." Hugo gently pushed Simon's face away, "You do realize we have like two hours of nothing ahead of us. I can pull over?" Simon scrunched up his nose, "If I get desperate." Hugo rolled his eyes, "You're such princess sometimes." The bickered good naturedly about Hugo's 'brutish' nature and Simon's 'princess qualities' for a bit.

Hugo was large, six foot three, broad chest, and a gym rat. In contrast, Simon was only five foot eleven. Like Hugo (because of Hugo dragging him to the gym), he was fit, but he lacked Hugo's bulk. Where Hugo was built, Simon was toned, slender. They fit perfectly together, complimented each other. Hugo was practical, organized, reliable. Simon was more care-free, spontaneous. Simon reached across the car to run his hand through Hugo's dark hair as they fell into silence.

Silence was unusual when Simon was around, but Hugo had a lot to think about. When he got like this words just weren't enough so Simon just reminded his boyfriend that he was there, that he wasn't alone. The silence also didn’t bother Simon today, his chest was still tight. He flicked on the radio to add some background noise.

The tightness didn’t go away and the inhaler was pulled back out. It was harder this time, hard to draw in a full breath, and the full dose of medication never made it through. He rubbed at his chest and coughed in an attempt to open his airways. Now Hugo looked away from the road, "Still?" Simon nodded, he was beginning to wheeze. "Might be," he paused to breath, "a problem."

Hugo may be anxious in nature, but he was good in a crisis. "Alright, hang on." With one hand still on the wheel he pulled out his phone and opened GoogleMaps. The nearest hospital was just under an hour away. He mad an illegal U-turn to switch sides on the highway, he would cut that time in half.

Ten minutes passed and the wheezing could be heard over the radio and Simon was beginning to sweat from the effort of sucking air into his swelling airways. He tried the inhaler again, bringing it to lips, but his breaths were too shallow for the medication to do its job. "Hugh" This was the point where Hugo knew his fear was valid. Simon was scared. "Hey," he reached over and grabbed Simon's hand, bringing it to his own chest. "Just breath with me," he took slow deep breath. Simon could feel as Hugo's chest expanded and contracted, so steady, so strong. He tried to match, he did, but couldn't. Although he was beginning to heave with effort his rate of respiration increased, becoming rapid and shallow. By twenty minutes Simon's shoulder's were hunched. He had a vicelike grip on Hugo's right hand, his free hand was at the collar of is shirt, the fingers curled around the fabric as if he dragged it downward as if exposing his neck would make breathing easier.

Thirty minutes and the color was gone from his face, his lips were taking on a bluish tint. His breaths had turned into strained painful gasps with pauses in-between as he tried and failed to draw in more air. All the while Hugo kept talking, his voice soothing and encouraging, "You're doing good, one breath at a time." Hugo glanced at his phone, they were still fifteen minutes away, the endless highway had turned into a town. His foot pressed heavily against the accelerator. "Simon," he looked at his boyfriend whose eyes were closed, "Simon!" He shook their joined hands and Simon's blue eyes opened, he sucked in a shallow breath. "Simon if you die in this car I swear to god I am breaking up with you." Simon smiled weakly, but couldn’t speak. Their wasn’t enough air to waste on words.

Thirty-eight minutes, they were so close. Horns honked as Hugo ran through a red light. Simon's wheezing as stopped, his eyes were half open, his head slumped against the passenger door window. The grip on Hugo's hand had gone slack. "Simon!" His chest was so still, so unnaturally still.

The next few minutes were the longest of Hugo's life, but as he pulled into the ambulance bay he couldn’t even recall how he had goten them there. All he could see was Simon, Simon not breathing, Simon dying right beside him. The palm of his handed pounded on the car horn as he pulled in to catch the attention of anyone, anyone could help. He didn’t even bother to turn off the car before he was out and opening Simon's door.

His boyfriend's lips were blue, his face grey, and his body was dead weight as Hugo scooped his smaller frames into his arms, carrying him bridal style inside. "He isn't breathing!" It was a small hospital, only a level four trauma center, but the staff reacted quickly. Simon was pulled from his arms and whisked away, they wouldn't let Hugo follow.

They took Simon's now lifeless form into a trauma room, Simon would have been shocked at the number of the people in the room. One person placed an IV, one began cutting off his clothes as a third hooked him to various monitors, a fourth had an ambu bag pressed against his face trying to force oxygen into lungs, but met resistance. "He's not moving any air," a fifth person began chest compressions as the EKG he was attached to showed asystole. With each compression on his slim frame his chest caved inward, his belly extended, again and again. "Push a round of epi and atropine." He was already at Simon's head ready to intubate, "He's swollen shut." The would have to trach him.

As compressions continued as betadine was spread across Simon's neck and the doctor then made an incision into his trachea. A clear tube was placed into the incision forcing his windpipe open and an ambu bag attached. They had bypassed his swollen airways to get precious oxygen into his lungs. With the trach established they began to breath for him, forcing air into his oxygen starved lungs. Now with his airway secured Simon's chest rose with each artificial breath.

Despite the fresh oxygen his heart remained still in his chest and a fresh set of arms took over compressions. When they paused for a pulse check there was no change, another round of drugs were pushed. It had been eleven minutes since he arrived. Seventeen since he had drawn his last breath. Another pulse check and the drugs had forced his heart into a shockable rhythm. Compressions resumed while the defibrillator charged. "Clear!"

In the hall Hugo was forced away from the trauma room. His car was still idling outside and security was forced to take his keys to move it when Hugo refused to leave the waiting area. How could he just wait? He needed to do something, needed to help. The only thing he could do was to call Simon's parents, to let them know, but doing that, it felt like a bad sign. He would call them after Simon was awake, when things were okay. Because they would be, Simon would be fine, Simon had to be fine because Hugo couldn’t live without him.

Back in the trauma room Simon's back arched as 200 joules shot through him, his toes scrunched and then unfurled as body fell back to the gurney with a soft thumb. V-Fib still showed on the monitors. "Clear!" A second shock and again the paddles pulled his chest into the air, lifting the base of his neck clear off the gurney as his whole body jolted. His left arm slipped off the gurney and banged against the side of the gurney as chest compressions were resumed. He had fallen out of V-fib into pulseless electrical activity.

There was tension in the air his team discussed their next steps. The doctor shone a light into his unseeing eyes, his pupils were reactive. Resuscitation efforts continued and another round of drugs were pushed. No changes were observed at the next pulse check and a fourth round of drugs as administered. His pale chest was bruised from their efforts and there a crunch with each compression. At least one rib was fractured if not broken but the nurse currently beating his heart between his sternum and his spine didn't let up her efforts. Finally, V-fib was restored and everyone stepped, but the doctor wielding the defibrillator backed away from Simon's prone body. The doctor pressed the paddles to his pale chest, "Clear!" No change. There a few beats of chest compressions as the machine charged as a fourth shock was delivered. The heart monitor showed a spike as the charge coursed through Simon, followed by another, and another as normal sinus rhythm was returned.

Once stable, Simon was left in a critical care room, hooked to a ventilator which continued to breath for him. Hugo wasn't permitted to see him until he was being transported to the ICU. Their reunion was brief. The site of his unconscious boyfriend lying so still and frail on the gurney, a respiratory therapist pumping an ambu bag to mechanically breath for him was frightening, but Hugo still leaned over and planted a kiss to Simon's forehead. "You scared the shit out of me," his hand found Simon's and gave it a squeeze that wasn’t returned. "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

#resus #cpr #asthma

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goldeneyedgirl · 4 years

Text

JaliceWeek2020 Bonus Day

JaliceWeek2020 Bonus Day: Quarantine

Also Untitled We’ll Worry About That Later

Notes: Under 3k, woohoo! This barely fits the prompt, but I’ve decided to go rogue. The real question now is... can I get another one posted today?

The phone rings at 11:27 p.m. on a Tuesday night.

It’s not Carlisle’s night on call, but everyone is being a bit more flexible at the moment. He expects a summons, that the hospital is short-handed again. It’s to be expected once Forks got its own outbreak - of the fifteen people hospitalised, eight of them were doctors or nurses.

Edward hits a sour note as he overhears the the phone call, trying to temper his reaction so not to signal that anything is wrong.

Carlisle is utterly professional during the call, but when he hangs up, he is left with the hideous duty of walking upstairs and telling his youngest - and oldest - son that one Mary-Alice Brandon has just been placed on a respirator.

—

They’ve put the infected in the old wing of Forks Hospital, where they can be properly quarantined. There’s no blood in the wing yet, and so Carlisle sees no risk allowing Jasper in to see Alice through the window; it’s the closest anyone can get to these patients.

And Jasper was not doing well. Telling him had been so much worse than Carlisle had ever envisaged. Esme was still repairing the damage to his study, and Jasper had gotten himself worked up, his terror at a point where he was infecting the rest of the family - Edward was almost permanently camped out at Bella’s, unable to tolerate another second of that bone-deep fear that Jasper pushing out.

But the second they arrive, and Jasper gets to see her, Carlisle fears that he just made things much, much worse.

Alice is tiny in the hospital bed, pale as the sheets tucked around her. The respirator is strapped to her face, obscuring most of her features. Tubes and wires run out of both her arms, the machines surrounding her beeping routinely. She’s completely unconscious, the dark circles under her eyes the only spot of colour on her entire face.

The whole scene is devastating, and Carlisle is quite sure that he’s watching his son’s heart break into a million pieces as he stares at his human mate, slowly dying alone, not a single person allowed to hold her hand.

Carlisle is not cruel, and hasn’t told Jasper the full details of Alice’s prognosis, but Jasper is no fool. Alice was already so fragile, with existing health issues, and she’s just so very, very sick.

“Jasper…” Carlisle begins in a low voice, reaching out to put his hand on his shoulder, but Jasper jerks away, storming out of the hospital in such a rage that Carlisle’s just relieved the door stays on its hinges as his son disappears into the night.

—

He is furious. He is rage. He has never, ever been so angry in his entire life. He wants to destroy, to fucking decimate something because it never, ever should have been her.

He thinks of going to the Brandon house, and crushing her selfish father into pulp. To bestow upon Alice’s father, who could not resist his trips to his mistress in Seattle, the slow, lingering death he passed on to his eldest daughter.

But he doesn’t. The man is sick - the whole family is sick, though not nearly bad enough to require hospitalisation, that particular honour had been given solely to Alice - but he tries to comfort himself with the fact that the man is at least suffering.

He steals into Alice’s bedroom, how many times had he climbed into this room and found Alice sitting crosslegged on her bed with her laptop or with her sketchbook, her face lighting up at his appearance. How the fairy lights strung around her bed would be lit, as well as the lamp shaped like a rabbit, and half a dozen novelty lights scattered around the room. It made the room look like magic, like home.

But now, it is cold and still. The bed is unmade, her quilt crumpled on the floor. The lights are off, the hamper is full, and he wants to destroy it all.

He lets himself have one moment, one little weakness, as he picks up the sweater tossed over the back of her desk chair and buries his face in it. It still smells like her, before she got sick - like raspberries and rainwater, her floral shampoo and rose perfume, of a million different little things that made up her human life. It is a comfort, yes, but it is also hurts in a sharp, new way that makes him want to weep. She’s not here, she’s not coming back, not going to walk in and tease him for being ‘weird’, as she wraps her arms around his waist and presses against him.

And he puts the sweater back, swallowing hard against the rising grief. He’s here for a reason. And so he goes hunting.

For her sketchbooks, and her diary, and her little worn out plush rabbit that always sat on her pillow. Her Polaroid camera, her very favourite purple top, and the ‘Alice’ necklace she wore every day, and the little photo-book that she kept by her bed.

It has to be things that won’t be missed, will be easily overlooked, but things that are precious to her, and thus precious to him.

Whatever happens next, he needs to keep them safe for her. Let her know that the things she treasured above everything else won’t end up at a garage sale or a thrift shop, won’t be boxed up and forgotten, won’t be thrown away. No, they’ll either find their way back to her hands, or they’ll be his shrine, his holy objects, for the rest of this cursed existence.

He goes back for the sweater.

—

Her heart stops twice. The first time, Carlisle hears about it second-hand and by the time he gets to her, she’s back.

The second time, people talk. That Dr Cullen was like a monster, forcing that girl back to life without compromise. That he short of reached into her chest and squeezed life back into her heart by hand.

It’s not going to help, the staff whisper. The Brandon girl is going to die, the youngest fatality in the state so far, before she even graduates high school. It would take some kind of miracle for her to come back from this, no matter how long Dr Cullen insists on delaying ‘time of death’.

—

The question needs to be asked, but he can’t form the words because it changes everything. It’s turning reality upside down and inside out. He’s never been good with change, and he was happy like this, for the first time in a long time.

Asking the question admits that he failed her.

He wishes he’d asked her before now, but it was one of those things they never talked about. And not in a tense, unspoken way. He can’t think of any moments with her that weren’t comfortable; love and affection and appreciation dipping and swirling between them.

They were going to be together forever, they both knew that. They were going to go to college and go travelling and get married. But neither of them ever specified if her eyes would be green or if they would be gold, and now he can’t ask her and he doesn’t know what would be worse - letting her go, or having her hate him for it, for the rest of their lives.

Why hadn’t he asked her?

—

Carlisle takes Edward to the hospital, to see if he can get a read on Alice’s thoughts; Edward looks grim and shakes his head minutely - whatever physical state she’s in, her thoughts are nothing decipherable now. There is no awareness of anything around her, and if her organs weren’t slowly failing, maybe they could wait.

They sit in Carlisle’s study, Edward feeling every year of his life, as they discuss Alice.

“Is it wrong that every single day, I’m grateful that it’s not Bella?” Edward says finally. “That the dice was rolled it was Alice, not Bella?”

Carlisle is quick to reassure Edward that anyone would feel the same, and he shouldn’t feel guilty. Except, Jasper overhears that statement and smashes the piano into kindling.

Bella was healthy. Bella probably wouldn’t have needed a hospital, let alone wasted away with broken ribs, and a machine breathing for her.

—

In the end, he doesn’t have to ask.

Carlisle offers.

He accepts and hates himself for it.

—

Mary-Alice Brandon dies at 1:57 a.m. on Saturday morning. Dr Cullen is more restrained this time, following procedure precisely before he calls it.

Alice’s family are still quarantined at home, and Mrs Brandon’s voice is quiet and shaky when Carlisle calls to give her the news. She doesn’t ask any questions, just thanks him and hangs up.

Her daughter died alone, with only a doctor, an intern, and two nurses clad in PPE with her. That’s what Mrs Brandon has to live with.

Carlisle comforts himself that he was with Alice when she died. That he already loves her like a father, and he watched over her as he prepared her for what came next. She wasn’t alone, and she was loved. That she would have felt no pain, no fear.

If this doesn’t work, he hopes that that offers Jasper some kind of peace.

—

The Brandons have Mary-Alice cremated, and interned at the local church as soon as they are allowed out of a quarantine. They have the funeral over the little hole in the ground where they will place the box of ashes; just the Brandons, all pale and solemn, Minister Weber, Angela Weber, Bella and Charlie Swan, and the Cullens.

It’s very short, with Minister Weber praying over the box, and then the box is placed into the hole, a tile with her name and the dates is settled into the dirt, and it’s over. Seventeen years of life, and that’s the final page in the book. There’s no reception, not during the current crisis, with the Brandons still so tired and weak. Cynthia puts a small wreath of daisies over the plaque, and Mr Brandon scowls when the bouquet of pink and yellow roses that Esme bestows upon the grave, from her own garden, is so much finer.

No one lingers in the rain, and Cynthia is quick to comment on how distant and cold Jasper Hale was, that he didn’t put any flowers on her grave, even though he claimed to love her.

“Teenage boys, Cece,” Mrs Brandon sighs, as they get in the car. “He’s probably already gotten over her. It was nice of him to come today, with his whole family.”

And then they drive away.

—

The basement of the Cullen house isn’t exactly the ideal place to undergo the transformation, but it is utterly sound proof, and they’ve made it as comfortable as they can. The plan is that, as soon as Alice awakens, Jasper will take her to Alaska for her newborn year - there’s too much risk, staying close to Forks.

Assuming she doesn’t pull him to pieces for changing her in the first place. It was supposed to be Carlisle who changed her, but in the moment, he’d just done it. It seemed like the natural response to seeing his mate in such a state, to lean into her throat and sink his teeth and venom into her whilst the others were fussing around, preparing for something so simple.

Everyone had been shocked he had the control, the self-restraint, to do such a thing but he didn’t bother to explain. He had done what needed to be done, and her wrath would be his to bear alone.

The sickness left her wasted and weak, and it is the quietest, stillest transformation he has ever been witness to. He sits with her, holding her hand like he wasn’t able to do in the hospital, watching as her body is healed from illness, from pain, from every little imperfection. She’s going to be lovely, of course, but in truth she’s no more or less beautiful to him after the venom than she was before.

She whimpers and cries and moves around a little, but mostly she is still.

Carlisle checks on him regularly, assuring him that she’s doing fine. Esme checks on him, and reassures him he made the right choice. Rosalie checks on him and tells him she’ll totally support Alice if she decides to dismember him for the next decade. Emmett checks on him and promises that he’ll keep Alice under control for the next year if Rosalie’s prediction is true.

Edward does not check on him, and instead plays his new piano loudly, still the indignant victim of the original’s destruction, agitated that this sudden change of plans has inconvenienced his own plans with Bella.

One day.

Two days.

She doesn’t wake up on the third day, and whilst he starts pacing, Carlisle tries to be reassuring. A longer transformation means nothing, not when her body was so completely damaged from illness. It’s going to be fine.

It’s the middle of the fourth day when her heart is racing, and there’s nothing left for the venom to do; Esme and Rose have washed and dressed her in a clean dress, brushed her hair out of her eyes, and now it’s just waiting.

Waiting for that moment when her heart

just

stops.

And she opens her eyes.

—

The first thing Alice is aware of is love. Adoration. It’s wrapped around her, warm and sweet, and so when she opens her eyes, she is already smiling. No one could do anything less, not when they are so certain of their worth.

Everything is quite strange, sharp, and clear, like a veil has been lifted over her eyes. She can’t quite remember what came before this little bed, this room, - was she sick? - but it doesn’t really seem that important. She’s looking around for something… no, someone.

He’s crouched about four feet away, golden eyes fixed on her with a look of clear desperation. He looks like he’s holding his breath, like he’s waiting for something.

Jasper. Her Jasper. A million little thoughts, memories, erupt in her mind - laughter, stolen kisses, plans and hopes and dreams, and that feeling of perfect love that she’s still wrapped up in, only she’s not sure if that’s her love for him or his love for her. She decides that it doesn’t matter.

“Jasper?” her voice sounds a little different to her own ears. She thinks about getting up, and suddenly she is standing, only a foot away from him.

“Alice,” his voice practically caresses her name, and he straightens up, towering over her (still?). “How are you feeling? Do you remember what hap-”

Before he can finish his sentence, her arms are around him, and she’s clinging to him like she’ll never let go.

“You did it, you did it. I was so, so worried you’d change your mind or be chivalrous or something ridiculous,” she babbles into his shirt, and he gently pulls back to look at her eyes (perfectly red, framed in black eyelashes, and oh, he’s falling in love all over again).

“I never asked you if you wanted this,” he says hoarsely, smoothing her hair from her face.

Her laugh is like … delight, the bubbles in champagne, perfect happiness.

“Oh, Jas,” she smiles at him. “There was never any question to ask.”

(He kisses her then, not like high school sweethearts; he kisses her like she’s his beautiful, perfect, newborn mate and he’s not even a little bit sure how she’s managing to tolerate the burn her throat and the thirst this long because the only reason they don’t put her little cot to another use is because Carlisle comes down to check on them, his relief like a cool spring breeze when he sees the smile on Alice’s face and the matching one on Jasper’s.)

—

They leave Forks two weeks after she dies and rises again, with a smile on her face. They leave hand-in-hand, vanishing into the forest towards Alaska. A year there, and then as much time as she needs to maintain control around humans.

And then… they have so many plans. She wants to go to college, study fashion or maybe painting or maybe photography… and they want to go travelling, to all those places on the list in her diary. She wants to help Esme restore a house, and have Rosalie teach her to drive. She wants to meet every single one of their friends, and he can’t wait to introduce her to Peter and Charlotte.

And he wants to marry her, in a white dress, with a preacher. He wants to watch her marvel at the Northern Lights, and create havoc at Milan Fashion Week, and dance with her to the old records in his study. He wants to make sure that there is never a single moment, a single thought, where she ever regrets what she lost. Anything she wants, he’ll bring it to her.

She looks up him, sensing his worry, and lifts his hand to her lips.

“It’s okay, Jas. It’s all going to be amazing,” she murmurs to him, leaning against him as they walk. “You don’t have to worry - we’ve got all the time in the world.”

They leave Forks at 11:28 p.m on a Tuesday, hand-in-hand, and neither of them looks back.

#jaliceweek20 #alice cullen #jasper hale #Alice/Jasper #jalice #guess which twit posted this to the wrong blog #my fic: untitled quarantine

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mightydragoon · 4 years

Text

Suitless Vader and Luke Fic Recommendations

@silvereddaye Hey you asked for it.

1. Sent Out for Safety - Chapter 1 - throwawayflames - Star W...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22659655/chapters/54159751

At the age of eight, Luke Skywalker and his sister, Leia, are split up for their safety. Leia stays with their Uncle Ben, and their mother, to learn how to be a Jedi. Luke, on the other hand, is sent to the Organa's, where he will pretend to be their adoptive son who was orphaned. Ben had only given Luke one rule to live by while he was away from his family, don't tell anyone his last name, and he followed that.

It wasn't his fault that Darth Vader sensed that he was a Force Sensitive and now he wants to train him, as a Jedi no less. That's the complete opposite of what Ben had told Luke. And after asking Darth Vader about his dad, Luke can't help but say yes to Darth Vader training him. After all, Luke's always wanted to be a Jedi like his father.

2. Another Empire - Theace1

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14666787/chapters/33883572

Another Empire - Chapter 1 - Theace1 - Star Wars - All Med...

The Battle of Yavin had a surprising outcome with the death of Emperor Palpatine. Luke Skywalker's confrontation on Bespin has a much different outcome in the AU story, meeting someone he never expected to see: The Empress Vader.

3. Oceans Across- planningconquest

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15176468/chapters/35194499

Oceans Across - Chapter 1 - planningconquest - Star Wars -...

Star Wars on the high seas! Doesn't get more simple than that.

4. Burning Mother planningconquest

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11952459/chapters/27024234

Burning Mother - Chapter 1 - planningconquest - Star Wars ...

A Jedi Luke emerges onto the galactic scene over a decade after the Jedi temple burned. Joining with Cassian Andor, rebel spy, they attempt to return to the Rebellion to attempt to full fill his destiny as the Chosen One. Sidetracked by pirates, farmers, and blind monks. All the while hunted by a vengeful Lady Vader who would see the young Jedi dead with the rest of his Order.

5. Dynasty Valerie_Vancollie

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13111908/chapters/29997507

Dynasty - Chapter 1 - Valerie_Vancollie - Star Wars - All ...

Hit in the leg by a stormtrooper's blaster bolt, Luke falls in the Death Star hanger bay and is unable to escape on the Falcon along with Han and Leia. During the subsequent interrogation, his true heritage is revealed and Vader instantly takes him to Coruscant, determined to reclaim the son the Jedi stole from him. But the glory of the Imperial capital belies its true nature, where politics and power are everything and anything is fair game in the never ending game to reach the top. Not lying, not betrayal, assassination, sabotage, blackmail, nor seduction. As he commences his Sith training, Luke must also learn the rules and etiquette of the Imperial Court if he is to survive as most of his enemies fight their battles with words and political maneuverings rather than military force. Yet, even as he struggles to gain his place within the Empire, Luke learns that his best friend has joined the Alliance...

6. Possibilities of If May Be Valerie_Vancollie

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12946578

Possibilities of If May Be - Valerie_Vancollie - Star Wars...

Co-authored by Selinthia Avenchesca.

What if two different Star Wars realities started to merge?

7. We are all in the gutterarcticapple

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7070698/chapters/16072126

We are all in the gutter - Chapter 1 - arcticapple - Star ...

Vader gets caught by the Rebellion and eight years old Luke gets tossed into the mix. Observe and discuss.

8. new cornerstone: a reconstruction mandalorianed ( Private)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5308523

When Luke had imagined finding out who his parents were, he had never imagined this.

9. Revenge Leads to Karma, and Karma Bites Darikiema

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9055873/chapters/20601586

Darth Vader created them for his revenge; the clones of Obi-Wan Kenobi were his to torture and kill. But when something goes wrong and one of them isn't grown before being released from the pod, he's met with a dilemma that could change the face of the Galaxy.

Or:

Karma sucks and if Darth Vader ever meets her, he's going punch her in her damn face.

10. The Reckoning. SpaceTrashCanFan (Sketchandcomicbookperson)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21597067/chapters/51495820

After Darth Vader goes missing after an failed attempt to assassinate the emperor, he was presumed to be dead.

Years later, a few Jedi and a child show up at the front door of the rebellion with an mysterious defector in tow. And they have big plans...

11. Bright Binary sunset in Dark Times SpaceTrashCanFan (Sketchandcomicbookperson)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19711126/chapters/46648030

A.k.a Vader got frozen in Carbonite, somehow.

-------

Since Vader went missing, years ago somewhere in the outer rim...when Leia was very young (5 years) . Leia Organa gets years later when she was seventeen a bodyguard assigned to her after an attempt on her. Normally, she would protest.

But this man is not like the others. Something that was eating him and her parents were keeping a secret. Wielding a weapon of a Jedi... Using the Force and having secret meetings with spies and her father..

Leia is determined to find out what is going on and discovers how her bodyguard is a reformed Sith-Lord who went missing several years ago.

12. Tumblr Prompts KaelinaLovesLomaris

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9179176/chapters/20834479

A collection of unrelated Star Wars ficlets, from tumblr prompts. New "chapters" will be added as I get new prompts, and I'll update tags as I go too. Almost all of these revolve around Luke and Vader's father-son relationship, aside from the first few.

13. No Distance Far Enough KaelinaLovesLomaris

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17549516#main

Imperial Prince Luke Skywalker is kidnapped by the Rebellion. His father is not happy.

14. Those Who Walk The Paths Of The Sky (Must Learn To Fly) antebunny

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13771092/chapters/31651179

In which Leia is seven when her only friend Dijan dies. Her grief tears apart the shields Obi-Wan Kenobi put up on her mind to hide her adeptness with the Force, and is felt by two other residents in the galaxy: her father and her brother.

Or: The Skywalkers have a mental conversation from opposite sides of the galaxy because they're Skywalkers.

It also changes the course of the galaxy, but that's just to be expected.

EDIT: the second work is all part of this work!

15. Those Who Walk Series antebunny

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1176827

Skywalker family fluff.

16. Those Who Walk The Paths Of The Sky (Must Learn To Fly) II --antebunny

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13779084/chapters/31673112

Sequel to Those Who Walk The Paths Of The Sky (Must Learn To Fly), because there are still a lot of things that need to happen. But they're Skywalkers, so it has to be dramatic as possible. Including old friends, Organa Family Drama, Skywalker Shenanigans, and Hutts. Also, don't mind Obi-Wan. He's busy moping.

EDIT: THIS IS NOW ALL PART OF THE FIRST WORK

17. the shifting light of stars freefan1412

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20904197/chapters/49692206

Obi-Wan never needed to ask Padme for Anakin's location. That has consequences.

18. Fulfilling a Prophecy KianRai_Delcam (orphan_account)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13466274/chapters/30871740

Qui-Gon's eyes are gentle when he replies, "Changing fate is not always best, Vader. Whatever happens is as the Force wills it to be." Vader scoffs, "I'm hardly a youngling to be lectured, Jedi. My knowledge of the Force is more complete than yours. You have not walked both sides of the Force as I have. The Force is neither an ally nor a slave, as the Jedi and Sith see it." After Darth Vader's death and Anakin's redemption on the second Death Star, both Luke Skywalker and Vader are more than surprised when they find themselves alive on Coruscant in the Jedi Temple. Of course, Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi are a bit perplexed as well. Follow the Chosen One and company as they journey across the galaxy once more, discovering their true selves and fulfilling a prophecy as it was meant to be. Fic takes place over a few years, and may possibly go into the Clone Wars. Not just another time travel fix-it AU. You have been warned.

19. Cloak And Dagger dorenamryn

https://archiveofourown.org/series/613946

“...and those that endeavour to dissolve it [the Union of Great Britain], carry a dagger under the cloak of patriotism, to stab their country in the heart."

In which everything changes, but also nothing does. (aka: the one where Anakin Skywalker is a Jedi Knight pretending to be a Sith, Emperor Palpatine thinks he's won, Obi-Wan Kenobi thinks his best friend's betrayed him, and Leia Organa is stuck in the middle of it.)

20. The Good Temptation Sinclairchap

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4740410/chapters/10834520

The Force is out of Balance. Unfortunately, it's Chosen One has done little to fix this, and has even Turned to the Dark Side, furthering the Unbalance. The entities created directly by the Force, who guide those who use it, have decided he requires a nudge in the right direction. A rather large nudge.

But not everybody, or even the Chosen One himself, agrees with this plan.

(Previously titled "Path to Redemption")

21. Misguided Light Skylanian_Writer

:https://archiveofourown.org/works/4572396/chapters/10413042

Vader survived Mustafar unharmed, but believes everyone he holds dear is gone. Except his son, who he would do anything for, so long as Luke stayed by his father's side.

Padmé managed to survive childbirth, and lived to see everything she fought for be deystroyed. Except her daughter, who Padmé would die for in a heart beat.

Unfortunately, Luke and Leia are not willing to sit quietly as their parents fight a war. The twins actions shake the entire galaxy to its core.

The Force really hated the Skywalker family.

22. In the Past SilverDaye

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16597682/chapters/38898149

It's been two months after Bespin, and Luke Skywalker is trying to come to terms with the events that happened there. During a dogfight with Darth Vader, both of their fighters crash. When they recover, they both find themselves on Coruscant at the end of the Clone Wars. Vader still aims to claim his son, but Luke has been taken to the Jedi Temple where he meets Anakin Skywalker.

23. Runaway SilverDaye

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14630196/chapters/33813027

Imperial Prince Luke runs away from home to escape his overprotective father Emperor Vader. Jumping from planet to planet he finds himself creditless on Tatooine. While working for more money to leave the planet, Luke meets an old man named Ben Kenobi. But Luke knows he can't stay in one place for long for surely his father is hunting him down.

24. The Bargain SilverDaye

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13722573/chapters/31525827

Vader has killed off his master and claimed the throne as Galactic Emperor. Padmé has become an outspoken figure head and leader of the Rebellion. Vader captures his wife. Now she must figure out a way to be free for not only herself, but her children as well. She's fighting against Vader, who will stop at nothing and use anything means necessary to bring his family together.

#star wars #suitless vader #luke and vader #anakin and vader #luke skywalker #darth vader #anakin and luke #skywalker family drama #skywalker family #fanfiction #fanfiction recommendation #ah shit here we go again #vader and leia #anakin and leia

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imagines-for-the-fangirls-soul · 4 years

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Return to Me - Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Love Story

A/N: THE WEDDING!! I hope you all like! I have rewritten this problem nine times since I wrote the first one forever ago. I literally spent weeks stressing over what dress to pick and changed it at the last minute. Let me know what you think and enjoy the smut and the fluff because next week we get the breakup. If you want to be tagged, have any questions, or anything to say, let me know! Love you all! Also, I really feel like Love Story by Taylor Swift really represents their relationship so maybe listen to it while you read!

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader Word Count: 6,766 Synopsis: Securing a vacation for the two of them, Poe whisks the reader off to Naboo to ask her to marry him. Warnings: smut.

Tag List: @xeniarocks, @too-many-baes, @araceli91103, @idocarealot, @treblebeth, @treestarrrrrrrr, @thescarletknight2014, @charlottie2998, @ibikus, @mellow-f1, @mrsdaamneron, @trustme3-13, @missjess71, @ella-solei, @minelskede, @gleigh42, @usuallyweepingnacho, @givemethatgold, @and-claudia, @constantdisgrace, @wordsinwinters, @readingvogueonprivetdrive, @trshbb, @kaitlynw011, @ihave2muchtimeonmyhands, @fairytalesforever, @thanos-jeep, @mixedfandxms, @pastelbunny1501, @emotionalcal, @daniellajocelyn, @getyourselfaunicorn, @spider-starry, @jimhalpertcanbuymelove, @angelicaxhouston, @roserrys, @blushingwueen, @americasass-romanoff, @commondazy, @throughparisallthroughrome, @ms-dont-care

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“Alright, I need to ask you something, but you have to promise not to laugh, okay?” you asked, sitting down at the table Karé and Jess were at, not even waiting for an invitation. They exchanged a look but nodded.

“What’s up?” Karé asked.

“Is it just me or has Poe been acting weird lately?” you asked.

“Why would that be funny?” Jess asked.

“I don’t know. I just have this feeling that either something really great is about to happen, or something really terrible is about to happen with the two of us.”

“Like?”

“I don’t want to be wrong.”

“I sincerely doubt that anything bad is going to happen to the two of you,” Karé said, “What do you think is about to happen?”

“He might break up with me?” you said quietly. The women exchanged another look and laughed. “What did I say!”

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” Karé said. “But that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say.” You opened your mouth to say something but Jess spoke first.

“Listen. We’ve both known Poe for a while, and I’ve never seen him as in love as he is with you, okay? So, just stop stressing. Nothing terrible is going to happen.”

“Okay,” you said, letting out a sigh.

“What’s the really, really good thing you think might happen?” Jess asked with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

“Seeing how you reacted to my worst case scenario, I’m not going to tell you.”

“Oh, come on!” Karé said. “We need good drama.”

“Well, ask Jess about Nové. There’s always something interesting happening there.” Jess smirked at you evilly.

“Nothing to report, unfortunately. It’s been smooth sailing for us the past few weeks,” she said. Karé turned to look at you again, her eyes wide.

“Okay, so spill.”

“Fine—”

“Y/N!”

You all three turned and saw Poe jogging towards your table. You stuck your tongue out at Karé and Jess, just as Poe reached you. He leaned down and kissed you quickly.

“Hey, baby,” you said with a smile.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”

“What’s up?”

“I have great news,” he said, sitting down next to you. “I got us a few days off. I know you might still have to check in with your university, but I figured we can find a romantic place on Naboo to spend a few days–” You cut him off with a kiss, grabbing his cheeks in your hands.

“That sounds amazing. I know just the place.”

“Great,” Poe said, still smiling from your kiss.

“I’ll go make a few calls! Thank you,” you said, squeezing his hand before running off. Once you were out of sight, Poe looked back at Karé and Jess. They both had matching smirks on their faces.

“So,” he said, taking a breath, “Do you think she suspects anything?”

“She suspects something,” Jess said, “But this trip might be enough to throw her off.”

“Are you going to propose on Naboo?” Karé asked.

“I think so,” he said, “It’s just a lot to plan. I want it to be perfect.”

“And Naboo is the best place for that?” Karé asked.

“Y/N loves Naboo. As long as her parents stay away, she’ll be happy.”

“Well, I wish you luck,” Jess said. “You still stuck on your mother’s ring?” she asked, reaching across the table to touch the ring that had hung from his neck for years. “It’s a little old.”

“Yeah, and you know how much Y/N loves fancy clothing and jewelry,” Karé added.

“She does, but this is the only ring I’d ever propose with.”

“It’s a good thing you’re so handsome,” Karé said. “If Snap proposed with a ring like that I’d reject him in a second.” Poe shook his head and Karé winked at him. “It’ll be perfect. She’ll love it because she loves you and you’ll be together forever.”

“A little much, but yes,” Jess agreed. “You have nothing to worry about.”

“Thanks, guys.”

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You stepped off the shuttle the next day, still feeling woozy. Looking over at Poe, you knew he was feeling the effects from the bumpy ride to Naboo as well. However, being that he spent most of his time flying, it was affecting him much less than it was you.

“Wouldn't have been so bad if you let me fly you,” he said, grabbing your bags out of shuttle. You shot him a look, taking your bag from his hand.

“How many times do I have to tell you I don't like small ships?” Poe frowned at you as you walked up the steps to your parents' home. His curls were soft in your hand as you pulled him in and kissed his forehead. “Hey, it'd do you some good to get out of a cockpit.” He smirked at you as the front door opened.

“It's so good to have you home,” your mother said, embracing you. “What, did you both just come from a fight?” she asked, taking in your clothing.

“Well, vacations don't always happen when you want them.”

“Come in,” she beckoned. You walked into your childhood home, taking in the all too familiar decor. “We cleared out your old room—”

“Oh, Mom, I told you, Poe and I are going to be staying in Varykino.”

“Did you get permission for that?” she asked. You sat down on the couch, taking Poe's hand so he would follow.

“No, I was just going to break in.” Your mother rolled her eyes as you smiled at Poe. “I spoke to one of Queen Dormé's handmaidens. She informed me that none of the politicians had it reserved and welcomed us to use it.”

“I don't know why you'd come all the way home just to stay away from your parents. Especially during the Festival of Glad Arrival,” your mother muttered, bustling into the kitchen.

“Where's Dad?” you asked, leaning up against Poe's shoulder.

“He went into town. He wanted to make you dinner.”

“Well, he can make us dinner tonight. We just wanted to settle into Varykino first.” She came back into the living room, looking angry.

“Can I talk to you in private, please?” she asked. Poe nudged you slightly, so you followed her down the hall.

“What?”

“We've been as accepting as we can.”

“Of what?”

“Your decisions,” your mother whispered. “We let you join this fight.”

“Let me?” you tutted in disbelief.

“We're accepting of your new relationship—”

“Mom. I've been with Poe for three and a half years now. And as far as accepting goes, I wouldn't say your actions towards him qualify.” She rolled her eyes.

“I just want what's best for you.”

“I'm happy! Doesn't that mean anything?”

“Of course, it does. It's just—”

“What?”

“This First Order business is going to die down. You've wasted four years on a fight that doesn't need you.”

“And if it doesn't die down? And I leave the Resistance to chase a career path I don’t want?”

“But what if it does?” she asked, “What will you do? You've wasted your political career.”

“I don't have to start directly at seventeen. It's my life.” She sighed, shaking her head. “I think we should go. We'll come to dinner if that's what you want.” You stalked back into the living room, and Poe looked like he heard everything you had said in the hallway.

“Ready to go?” you asked.

“Sure,” he said uncomfortably. You grabbed both of your bags and walked out the front door. You got to the end of the steps when Poe touched your arm. “Y/N.” He had run down the steps after you, jostling his necklace from behind his jumpsuit. You thumbed his mother's ring, smiling at it.

“I love you.” He took your hand and kissed your knuckles.

“How far is Varykino?” he asked.

“A short flight,” you said with a smirk. Your father had a small fighter pilot in your hangar, a token from his days in the rebellion. The irony of it made you almost not bring it up to Poe. “My dad has something that could get us there.”

“I'll go careful,” he said, taking the heavier bag you had dropped at your feet.

“I know.” You walked to the ship, and Poe made sure you were comfortable before he even put in the coordinates to Varykino. He leaned over, touching your knee. You remembered thinking how kind his eyes were in that moment. “I love you.”

“I love you, too” he said, smiling before taking off. You hadn't ridden in a small spacecraft like this in years. The slight imbalance of the ship made you take in a deep breath. “Alright, it's just a ten minute ride, we'll be fine. I'll just keep talking, distracting you.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. Well, it's weird that I love flying so much when you hate it.” You looked at him seriously. This was not how you wanted to be distracted. “Alright, no, that's no good. Well, your parents don't like you with me.”

“I know,” you said, closing your eyes. Poe squeezed your knee, trying to calm you.

“Which is crazy because I actually think we're really good together.” This brought a smile to your face, so Poe kept going. “I mean, we're definitely physically compatible,” he said, garnering a laugh from you. “I don't even know what I would do if you weren't in my life. Every mission I take, all I'm thinking about is getting back to you. Getting to kiss you. Getting to sleep with you. Getting to hold you.

“And it really sucks that your parents don't like me, because my dad is crazy about you. Not as much as I am, but still,” he said, laughing to himself. You chanced to open your eyes for a minute, but seeing that you were flying over a lake, you squeezed them shut immediately after. “We're almost there.”

“Keep saying nice things.”

“Alright. Well, you're one of the smartest people I know. Not to mention, the most beautiful. You make me laugh all the time. You're one of the strongest people I know, too. You're the only person I know who's deserving of my mother's wedding ring.”

“What?” you asked, your eyes flying open. Poe was landing the ship.

“I love you,” he said, turning off the spacecraft. BB-8 beeped from somewhere in the back, turning your attention. When you looked back, Poe was opening the overhead door. He helped you down, keeping his eyes from yours. “Not so bad, right?”

“Not so bad.” You leaned in and kissed him, savoring the fact that you were now far away from your parents' judging eyes. “I love you so much.”

“Now, show me around this beautiful place.”

“You don't have something else you'd like to say?” you asked, taking his hand.

“I already gave you a list of compliments, what else do you want?” he asked. You laughed, leading him to the retreat as BB-8 followed.

“You don’t have to say anything else,” you said, leaning up against the doorway, “But it would be an honor to wear her ring.”

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“Wait, don't you want to get changed before doing more exploring?” Poe asked. You had just finished giving him a tour and were now running down the stone steps to get to the lake access.

“Don't worry, I will be taking off these clothes.” Poe cocked his eyebrow at you, following you quickly. You got to the water, letting it lap over your toes.

“Is this area private?”

“Of course,” you said, unzipping your jumpsuit, letting it fall at your feet. You heard Poe groan slightly at your body that was now only covered by your undergarments. The water was cool, making goose flesh appear on your skin. However, the deeper you walked in, the more comfortable you became. You walked out until you could swim, dunking your head under the water.

“How's the water?” he called from the shoreline.

“Better, if you'd join me!”

“I can't leave BB-8 alone.” The droid backed up in what seemed like disbelief, looking at Poe. You smiled as Poe gave in and dropped his clothes, too. He swam out to you, his curls now weighed down by the water. “Oh, Y/N, the things I do for you.”

“Come on, it'll be fun.” You wrapped your arm around his smooth neck and kissed him. He tried to hold onto you, but you swam backward. He rolled his eyes, swimming after you. “Keep up. I've got a lot to show you.”

There was an island across the lake. On it was a little shack that housed a few boats and diving gear. It was quite a long swim, and after a few seconds of swimming at the same pace, Poe began to go faster. You knew he was trying to race you. However, this was the same channel you had swum in your entire life.

Poe noticed you were swimming faster, too. The island was in view. He tried to push you off, making you choke down some water. He reached the island before you, basking on the sand as you stalked out of the water.

“Cheater.”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” he said as you kicked sand onto his wet skin. He pulled away, smiling wide. As you walked past him, he grabbed onto your ankle.

“Poe.”

“I'm sorry I pushed you,” he said, sitting up so he could kiss up your leg. You breathed a happy sigh, stepping away from him.

“I don't forgive you,” you teased. He jumped up and followed you, wrapping his arm around your slick waist.

“Let me make it up to you.”

“How are you going to do that?” you asked, opening the door to the shack. There were two speeder boats in the shack, leaned up against other floating devices you used as a child.

“I'll take you on a romantic boat ride,” he said. You smiled, bumping your hip against his.

“You don't know how to drive one.”

“I can fly anything.”

“You can fly anything,” you said at the same time, nodding. “But this isn't flying. It's more like gliding.”

“Are they so different?” he asked as you started to push the boat out of the shack.

“Want to give me a hand?” you asked, breathless. He nodded and helped you push the boat down to the water. “Hop in.”

“You're going to drive?”

“Got a problem with that?” you asked, looking up at him.

“No. I'm actually very turned by that.” You laughed, kissing his lips and jaw before getting to the driver's side. Poe sat down next to you, looking at you longingly.

“We can't be out too long,” you said as you shifted into gear, gliding across the water, “My parents still want us to come over for dinner.” Poe nodded.

You hated that your parents treated him the way that they did. In the four years you had known Poe, he had never done anything to hurt you, accidentally or on purpose. Of course, you fought like a normal couple, but you had never been with someone who had made you happier.

“Y/N?”

“What?” you asked, looking over at him.

“You just spaced out.”

“I'm sorry my parents are dicks,” you said, skidding past a bridge, bringing up a splash of water.

“You really don't have to apologize.”

“I do. And I'm going to make it up to you.”

“There's nothing to make up for.” You looked away from him, a smile on your face. “What do you have in mind?”

“We’ll just have to wait, won’t we?”

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“Poe.” After your boat trip, the two of you got ready for dinner with your parents. An uncomfortable event as any was with your parents, you were both glad to be back at Varykino. Still tired from your journey, he was laying down on top of the sheets.

“Hmm?” he hummed, looking up at you.

“I still have to make it up to you.” He blew air out of his nose, sitting up on the edge of the bed.

“Not in that dress you don't,” he said. You smiled and sauntered over to him. You sat down in his lap, kissing him softly.

“I love you, baby,” you said, biting your lip. Poe groaned, loving when you did that.

“Really? How did I get so lucky?” he asked. You smiled, kissing him once more before standing up.

“Really. And I'm going to prove just how much.” Poe cocked an eyebrow as you reached into one of your bags. You pulled out two silk scarfs, waving them carefully.

“What are those for?” he asked. You shrugged, walking back over to him. Kissing him again, you laced your hands in his. He kissed you back as you leaned into his body. Putting pressure on him, he dropped your hands and relaxed onto his elbows. You moved away from him again, garnering another moan.

“Sorry, I'm doing this in the wrong order.” You crawled on the bed behind him, taking his shirt off before taking both of his hands in yours.

“Babe—”

“Just tell me if I hurt you,” you whispered, kissing his cheek as you tied his hands behind his back.

“What's the other scarf for?” You smiled, taking the smooth fabric and tying it over Poe's eyes. You ran a hand down his back, feeling how hot his skin was against yours. Peppering kisses up his back and shoulders, you settled your hands on the chain around his neck. As you continued to trace your tongue over every part of his body, you massaged his shoulders, making sure to leave scratch marks. Poe moaned as your lips moved up his jaw and stopped at his ear, leaving a soft bite.

Moving swiftly, you looped around his body, straddling his lap. You knew he was crazy with lust. Poe nearly always had the upper hand in your sex life and knowing that you were completely in charge turned the both of you on.

You picked up where you left off, feeling a new pressure in your lap as you kissed down the curve of his perfect jaw, finding his perfect lips. Having some control, he kissed you back hungrily, moving your lips with his. You bit and licked and moaned against each other until both of your lips were swollen.

“You gonna untie me now?” he asked.

“We haven't even had fun yet,” you said, trailing your nails down his warm chest, finding the erection that was pushing the fabric of his pants. He let out a moan as you started to massage the bulge, dying to look in his eyes as you did. The kisses you left on your way down his chest were soft and calculated, taking your time with where and how the hickeys you left were.

You dropped to your knees, smiling as Poe groaned, biting his own lip. Moving carefully, making sure to tease out every moment as long as you could, you pulled his cock out of his pants. Your lips found his shaft, smiling against it as Poe gripped the bed sheets.

You took your time getting to his head, working your way up his shaft. He moaned at every kiss you placed, every swirl of your tongue. Your lips found his tip, enjoying the fact that Poe's hips bucked when you did.

“Fuck, baby,” he let out as you took him in your mouth. Your lips massaged his tip, letting him rock gently in your mouth.

He was losing control. His moans were no longer kept at bay. Just as you felt him begin to let himself go, you stood up. He moaned again, this time in anger.

“This isn't fair,” he said.

“Life's not fair,” you said as you untied the scarf around his eyes. You winked at him as you dropped back down to your knees, watching him as you sucked his dick. Poe smiled softly, enjoying watching you work. You exchanged your lips for you hand as you began to talk him into coming. “Am I forgiven now?” you asked, keeping your mouth less than an inch away from his cock.

“Oh god, so much,” he moaned.

“Prove it.” You continued to massage him until he came into your mouth with an explosion of sounds that could have brought you to an orgasm as well. Satisfied with yourself, you stood up, fixing your dress slightly. Poe had fallen back on the bed, his chest still rising and falling rapidly.

“Let me untie you,” you said, moving him over slightly so you could take the scarf off. When you did, he brought you onto the bed with him, kissing you passionately.

“You're incredible.”

“I know,” you said, rubbing your thumb on his cheek.

“I am so in love with you.”

“Me too.” You kissed him again before pushing him off and standing. He groaned, snuggling into the pillows on the bed instead.

“Where are you going?”

“Just to the bathroom.”

“Hurry back,” he whined, closing his eyes. You walked into the bathroom, washed your face and changed into the nightgown you packed specifically for this trip. “Did you dress just to turn me on?”

“You know I don't dress for anyone but myself,” you said, climbing into bed with him. He wrapped his arms around you, tickling you and making you giggle.

“You still look gorgeous.” If you could spend every second of the day kissing Poe, you would. You found his lips again, smiling happily. Poe pulled away, looking at you seriously.

“What?” He stared at you for a moment, his eyebrows knitted together. “Poe?” You put your hand on his chest, your fingers finding the ring around his neck.

“What can I do to make your parents like me?” You sighed, resting your forehead on his chest.

“Can you give me a political career?” Poe blew air out of his nose before kissing your head. You looked back up at him, frowning. “My parents want me to be someone I'm not. I'm incredibly happy with my life right now. I love you. I love fighting in the resistance. I wouldn't change a thing.”

“But it bothers you that they don't like me.”

“Because it's not fair. You're a good person.” His hand around your waist tightened on the sheath of your nightgown. “But I don't need their approval. I know what I want.”

“What do you want?”

“You. Miles and piles of you.” Poe laughed out loud, pulling you in tight.

“Promise?”

“Yes, Poe, you're all I want.”

“What about this?” he asked, picking up the ring on his chest. Your eyes widened slightly, looking up into his. “Would you want to wear it?”

“As a necklace or as a ring?”

“As your ring,” Poe said, twisting his mouth in worry. Your lips crashed into his immediately. Your fingers ran through his curls, pulling him so he was as close as he could possibly be to you. He pulled away with a smile, panting slightly. “I had a million other plans for how I was going to do this, but I have never loved someone more than I love you, and every moment together I grow more in love with you. I’m sorry I’m doing this in bed, half naked, but,” he cleared his throat and sat up straight, carefully taking the ring off of his chain, “Y/N, will you marry me?”

“Absolutely,” you said, grinning as you held out your hand. He slipped the ring onto your finger. You threw your arms around him again, kissing him passionately as he laid you back down on the bed.

“I love you,” he said breathlessly, pulling away from your hot lips.

“I love you. I have one request?”

“Anything,” he said, looking into your eyes.

“I don’t want to be your fiancé for too long. I want to marry you. As soon as possible.”

“How about while we’re here in Naboo?” he asked, leaning in to kiss your neck.

“We’re only here for three more days.”

“I know,” he said, talking into your skin as his lips trailed down your skin. “We can do it. As long as it’s everything you want.”

“You’re everything I want,” you said, taking hold of his cheeks and looking into his dark eyes.

“Can we save wedding planning for later?” he asked, looking you up and down.

“Yes. Let’s just celebrate us tonight.”

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Two days after the proposal, after finding the perfect dress, and inviting everyone who could come, your wedding day arrived. You walked up the steps to your parents’ home once more, readying to break the news to them. You figured it was best to not give them a chance to argue with you, but a last minute invitation to your wedding was a risk, too.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” your mother asked once she answered the door.

“Is Dad here?”

“Yes,” she said, letting you in. Your father was setting the table for breakfast. He smiled at you, coming over to kiss your forehead.

“What brings you by so early?”

“I have some news.” They exchanged a look as they sat down. “Poe and I are getting married. Today.”

“You're what?”

“You're only telling us this now?” your father asked.

“Yes, and we would love for you could come.”

“You didn't even ask—”

“For your permission? Blessing? I'm not stupid, you wouldn't have given it to me if I did.” Your mother sighed. You stood up abruptly. You wouldn't give them the chance to ruin this day.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” she asked.

“Entirely. Will you come see your only child get married or not?”

“You're throwing away your future,” Henri said.

“How?! You met Mom in the rebellion. I wasn't born so the pair of you could work your political savvy.”

“No, of course not,” your mother said, trying to soothe the room.

“So why can't you just be supportive?”

“We'll try to make it,” she said weakly. You rolled your eyes, making your way towards the door. Getting back to the house on Varykino, you stalked into the living room, finding Poe talking with BB-8.

“Hey, we're not supposed to see each other,” he said.

“I don't care,” you said, falling into his arms on the couch.

“What's wrong?”

“My parents say they'll 'try' to come. To their only child's wedding!” you exclaimed, letting Poe's hand on your back soothe you. BB-8 beeped, invoking a laugh from the both of you. “No, thank you, BB-8. But if I need someone to shock them, I'll come to you first.” The droid hummed happily.

“I'm sorry, Y/N.”

“It's fine. I shouldn't even be surprised.”

“It's not fair.”

“I know,” you said, sitting up to look at him. “But I don't care about that anymore. It's our day, not my parents'.” Poe smiled, leaning in to kiss you.

“You're right. Leia just called.”

“She's here?”

“With most of our friends from the resistance. And my father.”

“Really?” you asked, breaking into a grin.

“Really. So what’s the plan?”

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Poe went off with BB-8 to say hello to his father, and to give you the chance to get ready. Nové came home for the wedding and agreed to help you get ready.

“You're going to kill him,” Nové said, dropping your veil over your face.

“Thank you. And thank you for being here.”

“Of course,” she said, hugging you. “Your parents?”

“We’ll see,” you said.

“Well, we won’t worry about them. Today is about you and Poe,” she said, making you smile.

“I'll see you soon.”

“Good luck,” she called as you walked out of the lake house. You told Poe to meet you on the stone veranda circling the house. Walking down the steps, you saw Poe, dressed in his formal officer attire.

“Hi,” you said. He turned from the water, looking at you for the first time. A smile broke out on his face, holding out a hand to call you near.

“Hi. You look breathtaking.”

“So do you.”

“Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

“Where are we going?”

“I told Nové to have everyone meet us at the festival. I want it to just be us for our wedding.”

“So, who's going to marry us? I don't think BB-8 is capable of doing it,” he said. You leaned up against the stone wall, laughing.

“I have someone to marry us, too.”

“Who?”

“The only person you love more than me,” you teased.

“General Organa?”

“Dameron, you could at least act like it's a secret.” Leia was walking down the same steps, a smirk on her face.

“Are you sure you don't want to marry her?” you asked. Poe pulled you into his chest, looking into your veiled eyes.

“No one else but you, baby.”

“Leia!” you called, not being able to keep yourself from kissing him for another minute. “I don't want to spend any longer not being married to this man.”

“As long as you don't tell your parents it was me who wed you,” she said.

“Deal,” you both said, taking hands.

“I assume you'd like to say a few things to one another.”

“Yes.”

“Go ahead, Poe,” Leia said, taking a step back. He unveiled you before taking your hands back in his.

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N,” he said, rubbing soft circles on your hand, “Ever since I was young, I wanted to be just like my parents. I joined the Republic Air Force and then the Resistance so that I could do what they did, fight who they fought. But it wasn't until I met you, that I felt closest to them. You are everything I fight for, you're everything I love.

“I thought I knew who I was when I joined the Resistance, but I had no idea who I was until you opened my eyes. I never saw life beyond this fight, and you've given me hope that one day we'll have the life we're fighting for. One day, it'll just be you and me forever and ever. I am so glad we get to start forever today. I don't know what else to say. I love you, and that's all I really know.”

“Y/N,” Leia said, and looking over at her you saw she had a tear in her eye. You took a deep breath, smiling at Poe.

“Poe, my entire life I always did the right thing because that was what was expected of me. When I joined the Resistance, I didn't know what I was running to. Not until I met you. You have made me a different person, shown me a world I couldn't see on Naboo. You have opened my eyes to so much and shown me what true love really is.

“I don't care if my parents don't approve of you. For once in my life, I'm with someone that makes me happy, someone that I truly want to spend forever with. For once, I'm deciding how I want my life to be. And truthfully, I don't care what my life is as long as you're with me every step of the way. There is nothing right about loving you, but it's all I can do.”

“Do you have the rings?” Leia asked, standing close to the two of you again, tear stains running down her cheek.

“BB-8?” you both called. The little droid rolled up, holding out a tiny compartment with two wedding rings. Poe slid his mother's wedding ring onto your finger, smiling with tears in his own eyes. You slid a matching one onto his finger as Leia pronounced you husband and wife.

“You may now kiss your bride.”

“Finally,” he muttered, his voice low, before he kissed you. You couldn't keep yourself from smiling against his mouth. That didn't stop you from kissing him though as you wrapped your arms around his neck, letting him dip you slightly.

“Congratulations,” Leia said, breaking up your kiss. He stood you up right, still smiling at each other. “I'm going to head down to the festival. You two will be there shortly?”

“I wouldn't say shortly,” Poe said, never looking away from you. As Leia walked away, you grabbed hold of his cheeks and kissed him again. “Your parents are going to kill me, Y/N Dameron.”

“I’d like to see them try.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Poe, if we don't leave now, we'll miss the best parts of the festival,” you said, pulling away from his lips.

“I don't care.” You laughed, trying again to stop kissing him, failing miserably.

“Poe, darling,” you said, stepping back so he couldn't snake you back in, although keeping your hands in his. “Save some energy for the honeymoon.”

“We're on honeymoon for here on out,” he said, smiling. You bit your lip, falling for his charm once again, and falling back into his arms.

“I love you,” you muttered, resting your forehead against his.

“I love you.”

A few more minutes, and you were finally able to coerce Poe to go meet up with your friends and family. Walking into the city square, you spotted Poe's father first. He turned as you both walked up and embraced his son. You smiled but couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous. Knowing you better than you understood, Poe turned back and gave your hand a squeeze.

“Welcome to the family,” Kes Dameron said, hugging you as well.

“Thank you, Kes.”

“Show him the ring,” Poe said, standing proudly behind you. You gave Kes your hand, watching as he smiled sadly at his wife's ring.

“It's a perfect fit. I'm so glad you've finally found someone to wear it. Your mother would be, too.”

“I'm glad, too,” Poe said, looking into your eyes. His magnetic stare drew you in, making you rest your head on his shoulder.

“I think I'll go say hello to General Organa,” Kes said, excusing himself. Poe kissed your forehead, sensing your sadness.

“I'm sorry they're not here.”

“It's okay. You're all the family I'll need.”

“Y/N!” You turned from him, seeing Nové running your way. You both let out a squeal as you embraced, giggling. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks!” She went over to Poe, who went to embrace her, but was stopped short.

“Hurt her,” she said, putting a finger in his face, “And I will end your life. There is no chance you can escape me, Flyboy.”

“I would never—” Poe began.

“Don't even think about it!”

“Okay, Nové,” you said, lacing your arm in Poe's, pulling him to safety, “No one's going to hurt anyone here.” She glared at him as she walked away, making you laugh a little.

“She's never going to like me,” he said.

“I doubt it,” you said, laughing. “But I like you enough for the both of us.”

“Good.”

“Dameron!” A woman called, stopping you an inch from your husband.

“I think someone needs you more than me,” you said, smirking.

“They could be calling you, too.” You nodded behind him and saw Black Squadron walking down the steps.

“I don't think so.”

“Y/N,” Leia called from the opposite end of the square.

“I'll see you in a bit,” he said, rubbing his thumb on your cheek. “Dameron.” You scrunched up your nose, smiling widely.

“Hurry back,” you said. You walked over to Leia, letting her hug you again.

“I didn't get to say it earlier, but you look beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

“I tried to get Amilyn, but she's on Hoth.”

“That's alright. You're here.” Looking around your small party, though, there were so many who weren't. Your parents weren't here, no one knew where Han was, Holdo was in Hoth, and Ben was impossible to talk to about anything lately. You were starting a new life with Poe, which meant that what happened in the past wouldn't be the same.

“Don't let them worry you today, Y/N. Many of your friends are here. And we'll always be here.” You hugged her once more, hoping to find Poe as soon as possible. The next person you ran into, however, was Jessika. She congratulated you and handed you a dark purple liquid.

“Drink it all,” she commanded, taking a shot with you. Instantly, you felt your whole body begin to tingle. “I know,” she said, looking at your bewildered gaze. You glanced around the square, finding Poe.

“I don't know what that is,” you said, pointing at Jessika, “But I never want to put that in my body again.”

“You got it, Mrs. Dameron.” You winked at her, making your way over to Poe. Stumbling slightly, you landed in his arms.

“You alright?”

“I don't know what Jessika has, but don't drink any.” He laughed, enveloping you in his arms. A band had struck up in the middle of the square, drawing your attention.

“Dance with me,” he whispered. You nodded, letting him lead you out to the square. You wrapped your arms around his neck as his rested on your hips. He led you softly with the music, enjoying the fact that you were lost in the crowd of other dancers. You toyed with the hairs on the back of his neck, smiling at him.

“I am so incredibly in love with you,” you said.

“It's not a competition, but I am definitely more in love with you.”

“Oh really?” you asked, laughing. He nodded appreciatively, barely keeping back his own grin. “Can you prove it?”

“Well, not here right now. There are kids around.”

“You're ridiculous,” you said.

“You're stuck with me now, baby.”

“That I am,” you said, kissing him. “How didn't I know you were such a fantastic dancer?”

“There's not much time to dance on base.”

“Well, we'll just have to find more time for that,” you said. He smiled and kissed your forehead.

“How did I get so lucky?”

“Pity.” He purposefully stepped on your toe, making you whimper slightly.

“Sorry, baby,” he said, overly sweet.

“This is how you treat your newly wedded wife? Abusing her?”

“I would never—” he began. You cut him off, kissing him again.

“I'll hold you to that, then.”

“You can hold me to anything.”

“There are children present,” you said disapprovingly, although your smile contradicted what you were saying.

“Then let's get out of here.”

“We haven't been here that long.”

“Oh please, our friends just wanted to say hello, and then get drunk. They won't miss us,” he said.

“You seem confident.”

“You should see me in the bedroom.” You laughed, dropping your head on his shoulder.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

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