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gokartkid · 2 years

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f1 fic rec list

self indulgent! my personal masterlist of hits, also theres 25 of them... 25 days of fic christmas, an advent calendar perhaps!

turn back and return by @rudesses

“No! We are climbing together,” Charles says, because Charles is very generous. He likes to phrase it that way—together. They haven’t climbed together in years.

charles/alex mountaineering au, SUCH good characterisation, the universe is so full and it has this like. longing-not-going-for-it that makes me crazy. THEE chalex fic to me. it holds tension so well and really makes you feel nervous in the high adrenaline moments, and you can tell the care that charles and alex have for each other, and their well established relationship immediately as the fic starts, which i think is so well communicated in so little time!

phantoms and pencil marks by cazio

Pierre woke to a boy sitting next to his bed. Amnesia AU

pierre/charles, amnesia au where pierres been in a accident and has severe amnesia, its written so well from his perspective you can feel his confusion the whole time and its amazing piarles but also a standout character study of pierre it has so many painful moments, i love how pierre he... is meeting charles again and again, but warped and you can see how painful it is for everyone. so so so good. it takes everything i love about amnesia fics and elevates it

Second Star to the Right by @gufettogrigio

It is stupid of Nico to even give Lewis the chance to notice. The hot water kettle is just a bit too heavy at breakfast one morning and Nico loses his grip. Lewis is next to him at the buffet table of the hotel and catches it out of reflex; Nico knows better than to think it’s kindness. He stares at where Nico’s fingers are still refusing to cooperate. "What happened to your hand?" "Nerves" - Nico answers with a shrug, glad for the double meaning in the English phrasing. It's up to Lewis how he wants to interpret it; Nico didn't lie.

nico rosberg/lewis hamilton but also jenson button/nico rosberg but separately, there are alternate endings.

SOO so so iconic, i have reread this multiple times. mind the tags, but it's an incredible nico character study, everyone in this is amazing but especially toto, this line: [Toto laughs, kindly. “You are my World Champion and I’ve only got two of those. I am invested in your continued survival. Always.”] it is everything to me. nicos mentality about himself, his feelings about racing, about the championship, about lewis. wow!

provenance by ecorone

At the end of the world, art curator Lewis Hamilton finds his way back to the artist called no5.

lewis/sebastian, genuinely like. an incredible work of art fic. it's an apocalypse - non driver - surreal fic. its setting is if the end of the world dinosaur times were happening now, and what to do with all your regrets, and follows lewis as the main character. it has so much depth to it, the writing style itself is incredible. the characterisations, the philosophies, the EVERYTHING. i left an insane comment on it just so i could spill my thoughts out better and i can't do it a second time hahaha but i would so so so highly recommend reading, to be honest even if sewis is not your thing just because. imo it is so much more than just a fic about drivers. also read their other stuff bc i do not like lewis/max as a pairing but i will vouch for ecorones interpretation as being. THEE lewis/max thesis.

echo of the future by @tetrapod7

Lewis, once on the path of the Jedi and now in the midst of the Galactic Empire, learns of the chance to save ancient Jedi texts. Max, a stormtrooper, becomes smuggler Daniel Ricciardo's copilot. They too pursue the Jedi texts -- with the hope of selling them to the Empire. Their stories collide at the Jedi Temple on Genbara. As the danger of an Imperial Star Fleet looms large, Max, Daniel, Lewis, Seb, and Jamie have to figure out what matters most to them, what they owe to each other, and devise a plan for an unavoidable space battle with the Empire -- a battle for their future and hopes.

lewis/sebastian max&daniel i will like. forever and always be a star wars guy x i read this in one sitting it made me feel insane everything about it is perfect, all of the storylines running at once then colliding. lewis in this especially is EXCEPTIONAL, r0s-c0 made me laugh so hard when i read it. droids 4eva! the particular sw verse this is is built up perfectly there are SO many details here and so much world building it makes me want to eat it. the entire atmosphere is quintissentially star wars, a mission running on hope and a few credits. amazing <3

in that iron ground by @lilyrizzy

"Maxy,” Daniel says and it sounds like he’s choking. Max frowns, deeper. He crouches in front of Daniel, resting his hands on his bare thighs. Daniel is still only wearing the boxers and undershirt he went to sleep in. Nothing’s changed. “Daniel, what is wrong?” Max repeats. Daniel swallows. I don’t want things to change, he thinks again. “My dad’s dead," he says. Or Daniel takes Max home to Perth for a funeral.

max/daniel incredible scholarship on daniel and max, who they are to each other especially in daniels lowest moment, i love how it... it is the lowest point of daniel that we are seeing which brings out so much depth to his character, and who he is especially behind his like, media/character mask. the characterisation of daniels family, how he struggles to process the grief, the complexities around grief and the consistent running undertone of why-mine-and-not-yours surrounding max and daniels fathers. his internalised homophobia/fear of coming out. amazing

sixteen cadences for children in bloom by distressedgremlin

Pierre flips his cap around and marks it on his calendar: 2021, the year of living selfishly

pierre/charles SUCH A GOOD PIERRE. such a good pierre. he deserves to be selfish and to live selfishly. i think seeing him become so confident is so great in this fic and especially the narrative foils between him, daniil and yuki i love, how he evolves in those relationships, becoming a team leader, becoming someone who HE likes. also obsessed with distressedgremlin's sewis fics. so so so obsessed. the le mans fic is everything to me

constellation falling into place by wraysford

For some reason, the last part is what sticks in Nico’s head, you were quick, in that awed, painfully genuine tone of Lewis’, but, he hastily reminds himself, how fast or slow he was back then doesn’t matter anymore or, wherein Nico goes to university and Lewis races

nico/lewis HEARTBREAKING au to me. nico quits racing and lewis doesn't and they meet again. im obsessed with it as a nico character study and a look inside his strange little brain in this universe... its perfect. the underlying jealous and what-could-have-been in every scene, the way lewis is so. GENUINE about wanting to reconnect with him, it kills me.

tomorrow on every shore by @missyourflight

This season on Below Deck Sailing Yacht... Six weeks. Nine charters. Lots of hot tub stuff. * “Is it not your colour?” Max says. The production team gave the whole crew new uniforms for this season, swapped their usual navy polos for something that apparently pops more on camera. It’s sort of peachy, not Max’s favourite, but it looks good on Daniel. “Please,” Daniel scoffs. “Everything’s my colour.” He bumps his hip into Max. “You weren’t tempted to go with the skort option?” Max bumps back, pretending to consider. “I thought about it, but it’s just not practical on deck, you know?” “Guests are arriving,” Christian says, his smile tight, eyes fixed ahead. “Could we attempt to act like professionals, please?” And then the guests are on the dock, and everyone puts on smiles to greet them, and it’s almost like a normal charter except for all the fucking cameras everywhere.

max/daniel, below deck au, i read this right after binging below deck med so obvs it was perfect. i love everyones characterisation especially christians. + yuki as the chef is perfect. i love the interview sections paired with whats happening in the fic bc its like... i love an unreliable perspective! fantastic au and they are so 3D fleshed out

striving for goodness while the cruel men win by @misonikomi

Lewis had been at a disadvantage. Cruelty had never been bred into her; she had to learn it one piece at a time. When she first started karting, she had tried to blend in with the other kids, an impossible feat. There had been so much violence even then, in the way the kids looked at her, spoke to her, and touched her. She had to learn that violence as well, in order to win

lewis/sebastian, gender swap au, i think one of the first and only i read because i get a bit nervous about them, but incredible, incredible thesis material. the characterisations of lewis and charles and amazing, how they change and are the same as women. perfect narrative foils for each other. sebastian and lewis' relationship in this is fantastic, how lewis' past with nico has affected her into her relationship with seb but also with f1 in general. suzie is standout in this to me, the woman-woman relationships in general are perfect

december makes me quiet by @warriorbarnes

“Hallo?” he greets, and gets to his feet. “There is a snow storm,” are the words he’s met with. He’s taken aback at first, the accented english not what he’d expected, and has to recalibrate his brain from german to english. His brows knit together when he realizes who it is on the other end of the line. “Charles?” he asks. or, right before Christmas, Seb gets an unexpected guest.

sebastian/charles, one of my favourite sebchal fics!!! i think it handles that line between awkwardness and getting to know each other so well. any sebchal fic that has charles being normal around sebastian is immediately inaccurate, we know his complexes! i love to read it... so comforting, being snowed in is THE premise!

lucky thirteen by @azzy421

Being the daughter of the most successful racing driver in the world (retired) comes with a lot of privilege and a few very notable downsides. 1. Dad is famous, and it makes people act weird around him and ask Ayla weird things, like what he eats for breakfast or what deodorant he uses. 2. Sometimes he gets talked into going to Germany for the summer to talk about engines and aerodynamics with Uncle Toto’s team for months on end. And this is only really annoying because - 3. He never, ever wants to talk about racing with Ayla. Ayla, head over heels in love with the world of Formula 1, is determined that she’s going to prove she has what it takes to start karting, even if it means going behind her dad’s back to do it. When she discovers that not only is there a girls-only karting group next to their temporary home in Germany but that it’s being run by four-time World Champion Sebastian Vettel (Ayla’s second-favourite driver of all time) (also retired), she is determined to seize the opportunity with both hands. And, well. Her dad is lonely. Sebastian seems even lonelier. Solving that problem would be a nice bonus.

lewis/sebastian, i also usually never go for kid fics but this one intrigued me and it is SOOO good. seeing lewis through the lens of his kid, her passion for karting and especially his very, very real fear for her entering that world... so so so realistic and good. it has the exact right amount of self indulgence but also reality, i love seeing the 'future of f1' with mick, lando and george, and how lewis to ayla is still first and foremost her dad. sebastian in this is incredible but also this cannot be prophetic because if he did become an f1 hermit it would make me so sad xx

how to get it, how to live it by grandsprix

Alex wants to say no, because - well, because his ex was a closet case, and Charles is the kind of beautiful Alex is going to feel insecure about, and he has half a tub of strawberry cheesecake Haagen Daaz and a rental of Dune waiting for him at home after his shift, and is that worth giving up to give some French twink a blowjob in the staff bathroom? or, Alex works in a gay bar in Soho, and Charles is lost.

alex/charles, obviously love every grandprix chalex fic, but this is my favourite! i am so charmed and in love with charles' characterisation here, his clumsy confidence and how he is immediately offended by alex not wanting to have sex-sex with him haha also alex's like... slow sense of impending doom at becoming closer to him. perfect

come on, starboy by @yekoc

Daniel’s just slinging his bag over his shoulder to head out to the parking lot when there’s a noise behind him, the hollow metallic echo of a locker door slamming. Turning, he sees that kid. Max. The running back who always fumbles. He’s standing in front of the locker he just slammed, muscles tense. His too-big mouth is drawn into a flat line. He has his phone in his hand: he looks at it, puts it in his pocket, and grinds his fist against the bank of lockers in front of him. “Hey,” Daniel says, because he feels creepy now, just looking. The kid looks up at him, startled. “Oh,” he says. “Hi.”

max/daniel, obviously like anyone reading this list will have read this or if you haven't you should?? max and daniel are perfect in this actually perfect. it has that... stuck in a small town that you are outgrowing but will you ever be able to stretch. standout to me: the spectre of max's dad. we hardly see him properly but you can tell the impact he is having on max, and by extent on daniel. this is also possibly my favourite lewis, second only to new wave (new emotion). the way he steals the show for me in every scene he is in, his college aspirations, fears for the future, wanting to gone beyond the simplistic perceptions of him... amazing. number 2 yekoc favourite is glory from a high rise but i am only reccing one per author strictly to not make this list insane

the heartbeat is a hunger by @thelittlebirdthatkeptsomanywarm

2019 FORMULA ONE SPORTING REGULATIONS Art. 34: BONDING Teams are required to register all bonds between drivers with the FIA at the beginning of each season. New bonds must be formally recognized through a bonding ceremony under supervision of at least one FIA representative [...]. Art. 34.1 [added on 1.01.1993] Bonds between drivers competing for different teams are prohibited. I'm so unused to being - well, understood perhaps. - Vladimir Nabokov's first letter to his future wife, Véra

lewis/sebastian, lewis/nico, SUCH a good bonding au... a really interesting look into how dystopian something like this could get, and i think a realistic look into how sports is constantly pushing us to the limit so if there were more ways to do so.... they absolutely would take advantage? lewis and nico's relationship is so interesting here, and seb as the trope inversion is SOOO. it is so well executed.

new wave (new emotion) by nothoughtsjustvibes

In which Max realizes he’s in love with Daniel and flies to Colorado to make it Lewis’s problem. Lewis just wants him to leave – preferably on a plane to Australia.

max/daniel lewis&max, my favourite lewis. ever!!!!!! max in this is STELLAR as well, their relationship is so so funny and so well balanced, i mostly love how... lewis deals with AD21 mentally in this? and how he's like urgh max is here? i will be nice. to hey. max is pretty cool :) in a very organic sense and also lewis being a mentor figure when i have 2022 lh superimposed over 2008-2016 menace lh in my mind is very funny. lewis micromanaging max's problems to fix them is my favourite thing, also every small interaction with charles in here is brilliant.

crude generalisations and vulgar simplifications by @janinaduszejko

Alex remembers attending his first Cabinet meeting - he’d been awed by the imposant room, the history this place held, where wars had been declared, disasters averted and ensured, with its stately inner ring of ministers, surrounded by the bustling outer ring filled with their advisors and assistants. The gratitude he had felt in that moment, being a part of the centre of it all, the place where power housed. Almost six hours later, he’d stumbled out of the stuffy room with George at his side, eyes wide with commiseration as he’d led Alex through the narrow halls. “These ministers.” Alex had said, a hollow look in his eyes. “Are they all-?” “Afraid so.” George’s voice had been kind, but knowing, like he’d expected this and had grimly prepared himself. “Halfwits.” Alex had moaned, as George had patted him on the back in sympathy. “Fools and idiots, every last one of them.”

george/alex, so so osos oso os good. i LOVE a political au i love intrigue i love stupidity i love jargon <3 and this baby has it all!!! i love any kind of misunderstanding/torment in a fic and in this one... alex u are so good at torment <3 george also coming up with the weirdest solution to their workplace romance is SO him. christian horner in this made me laugh a lot. this was i think the start of my galex downfall

steal the air out of my lungs (make me feel it) by @baking-soda

Max has never been so tired in his life. He can’t believe he’s going into call like this, that he couldn’t get to sleep last night. What an idiot. “Hey,” Daniel says, sauntering into a work room balancing a green smoothie and two large coffees from the caf. He puts one in front of Max. “You ready to save lives, Maxy?”

max/daniel obviously like. titular maxiel material, but i read it again and often! i am not a med student by any means but ive done placements in hospitals + medsci papers and reading this was like. it is exactly the feeling! when ur in it and you are a cog in a very big machine made for helping people and it is the most exhausting thing you have ever done but the most fulfilling... max in this fic is so so so amazing. the dissonance between how he sees himself and everyone else around him sees him. scenes that stick with me: when hes going to text his dad about the intubation but then he deletes everything because he thinks it wasn't impressive even though he had just been riding high. and every scene where he comforts the rookies but he like.. doesn't even realise himself he's doing it. to him he is being normal. love <3

Invent us as we were (real tears, hard love) by diamondcrystalink

“Seb, aren't you freaked out?” Every human who doesn’t work with mimic engineering hates seeing mimics down to their components, it's said to ruin the illusion. Sebastian didn't even hesitate to help him. “Why would I be? It's just you,” Sebastian replied without much thought, his concentration on shaping the lattice to the gash. - Charles is an android who should have had his memory wiped at the start of the season per regulation, Ferrari decided otherwise. Sebastian doesn't know.

sebastian/charles, android-au-i-love-you! illegal ferrari goings on i love you!!! i am forever and always a sci fi lover and this hits all the spots for me, the idea of charles as the golden boy of ferrari because he was literally made crafted and perfected by them, the ethics/philosophies of being an android (charles hating remembering that he is), the way it starts and ends with a dream as well, bookended perfectly. so so good

the alps by @grandprix-ao3

Yuki catches his first glance of Pierre somewhere without him in pre-season testing. He’s blue and pink, he’s glowing, a flat-brimmed cap with Alpine’s A emblazoned on it sitting backwards on his head. Pierre and his sunglasses, the microphones in his face, the questions, the novelty, the half-arrogant grins. “He looks different in pink,” Liam remarks, halfway to a joke. Yuki hates it. It reminds him of all the distance between them, all the words he’s too scared—too late to say. There’s a gap between them, now. It's mountainous. It’s brutal.

yuki/pierre, this is one of my favourite all time yukierre fics so i couldn't not include it. every single thing about it is perfect, yuki struggling with his feelings, the way he and pierre are drawn to each other again and again. the struggle with what people seem to see so easily and making that real. ALL TIME!

cleaner better breed by @toastandvegemite

The lights inside the glass box turned on and Daniel saw the android for the first time. Something hooked in his chest. “Did they have to make it look so real?” he murmured to Michael, turning his head slightly. (RedBull builds a robot driver. They call it Max.)

max/daniel this had me on the edge of my seat the whole time, the idea already of technology displacing high risk/reward activities like sport is so fascinating combined with the fact that sports is such a political tool in terms of soft power, almost unmatched, so how to wield that soft power effectively with a robot? make him a bit human and likeable. all of daniels internal monologues feel so true to form throughout this fic, and the ending. AGH! catch! love this au

Everything I do, I'm gonna think of you by @misonikomi

Charles's eyes scan up and down his body, expression somewhat unimpressed. Seb takes inventory of himself. Nondescript jeans, gray Puma sneakers, plain gray t-shirt. Not much to look at, he admits. Or: Charles is Bella Hadid, if Bella Hadid used to kart and was also a bit disillusioned with modeling, and Seb is still Seb.

sebastian/charles, SUCH A GOOD AU!!! i love fashion and i love f1... this is like a perfect in between. a really really good charles character study again i love taking the drivers out of their... natural habitats! and this as well, it doesn't shy away from how charles in this universe has lead to quitting karting, homophobia, gender etc. and sebastian is so unabashedly seb and them learning how to be together and charles gradually showing more of himself... the modelling world in this as well is so rich. its so good!!!

home (is wherever I'm with you) by actparci

On the drive back to the hotel Max had turned to him, blue eyes fierce and piercing. “Promise me you won’t stop being angry. You’re angry because you know what you can do. Use it, control it, let it fuel you. Other people won’t understand but that doesn’t matter, you know what you’re capable of.” You and me, he’d seemed to say, we’re the same. Charles wonders now how he ever thought Max wouldn’t understand. Or: Charles leaves Ferrari, tries to win a championship, and learns some things about belonging. All the while, Max is there

max/charles, i do not read much lestappen at all but this was amazing. charles moving to red bull and its done so well, because. i am a forza-ferrari-forza-charles guy forever but i am also addicted to alternate universes! all of the moments where there are differences between the teams, having the cheesy but so emotionally cathartic races and interactions and wins... its too good!

For the thrill of it all by @boxboxlewis

Charles unfolds from his headstand with cervine grace and stands up. “Geooooorge,” he says slowly. “George, George… George.” His eyebrows fly up, and he narrows his eyes at Alex. “Your friend who needs a place to stay for a few days, he is George? The George from your classes? That one? Posh George?”

george/alex, this is a series so technically cheating... essential george characterisations here! they are both so british (deeply derogatory) all of the dialogue is so perfect!!! i love their dynamic as flatmates, charles i love you but if i were flatting with him id kill him xx [If this were real, if they were dating, he wouldn’t fuck George, not tonight; he would draw it out, the anticipation, he would allow them the luxury of a long slow discovery. As it is he pulls back] my favourite line because alex is in every universe deluded. that boy loves you!

transmotion by heroics

Vettel's eyes fly to Lewis's, and he looks as shocked as Lewis feels. Then he grins. "You again." "Me again," Lewis says. He's lived in Frankfurt nearly four years now, and the German feels clumsy on his tongue in a way it hasn't since those first few months.

sebastian/lewis, literally what can i say. football, fashion designer au. the sebastian in this fic is so well fleshed out, and i love how its the.. uncertainty of being between stages in life, and how they struggle as adults with their relationship. lewis having moments of unintentional cruelty that they have to pull apart, and sebastian the same, the perils of homophobia in sport. charles and pierre in this i love, when pierre and lewis talk about his fashion show. pierre is a lh fanboy in every universe!

okay. that's it! they are literally in no order and also so muddled i am so sorry. if you are on this list i am such a big fan of you and just want to show my appreciation xx

#fic rec #f1 #chalex #sewis #maxiel #galex #yukierre #sebchal #brocedes #piarles #f1 rpf #cl16 #sv5 #aa23 #mv33 #dr3 #gr63 #yt22 #pg10 #lh44

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babiebom · 8 months

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About the NSFW alphabet, let's say... could you do D, H and T for any character you'd like? Think of this as a "free space round". :)

A/N: I decided that I was going to do maybe one character from each….genre(wtf do I call this) well not each so maybe this post will have maybe like 3 or 4 characters? I chose Haley(from stardew bc Abigail was the only bachelorette requested), Montgomery Gator(from Fnaf SB), Bubba (Texas Chainsaw Massacre), and Mary (Dream Daddy).

Tw: sexual content

Alphabet Post Masterlist

Haley

D-Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

She daydreams constantly. Like in the middle of brushing her hair, taking photos, talking to people. When she gets that glazed look in her eyes just know she’s daydreaming about getting railed into next week. Does not feel bad for daydreaming either, the person she is talking to should’ve been more interesting. She also tends to incorporate kinks she is curious about in her daydreams to try and predict if she would like it or not. Gets upset when reality isn’t like her daydreams because she spends so much time perfecting what’s happening in her mind that she can’t control in real life.

If asked what she’s thinking about she’d probably say shopping or fashion just because she doesn’t want people to know that she does have those urges. She has an image to maintain.

H-Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I think she is either clean shaven/waxed or she has her hair cut into like a heart or something. It’s a preference for her because she doesn’t like the feeling of pubic hair. Doesn’t think it’s dirty, just doesn’t like it on herself. Her pubic hair is blonde but slightly darker and paler(less saturated? Idk how to explain my thoughts). It isn’t as blonde as the hair on her head and isn’t as shiny. It’s very curly and when she can’t shave she makes sure it’s soft.

T-Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Definitely!! I think she has a small box of toys that she uses on herself and will request that you use them on her during sex. Before dating she was much too lazy to go into the city to find someone to hook up with, and the times that she hooked up with Alex she didn’t enjoy half the time so she bought herself toys to use for when she’s pent up. When she starts dating you however she finds that incorporating them into sex is fun and would probably go as far as buying cute toys for both of you to use that she keeps in a separate box.

Montgomery Gator

D-Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Goes back and watches the recordings of things he finds interesting. If your ass looked particularly nice or if you haven’t been around in a while he’ll replay videos of the last time you two had sex or if you did or said something that made his heart soar. He will never admit that sometimes he uses his recordings for dirty and wholesome purposes, he needs everyone to think he’s tough.

H-Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Absolutely none he is an animatronic alligator. He is as smooth as metal can be, but I do think of he was a human man his would be cut into a small bush and it would be black like what I think his natural hair color would be.

T-Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

No. The man(gator) lives in a pizzaplex surrounded by workers and children. Would have no way to get toys unless he got it delivered by Amazon for something and theres always a possibility of him getting caught. He might be a bad boy type guy but I don’t think he likes getting in trouble. And I think he would have no need for them. HOWEVER if you’re dating him you have a better chance of sneaking toys in if you want to use them. He might be insecure about you wanting to use them at first but is always willing to help you feel good so he would use them on you.

Bubba Sawyer

D-Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He steals panties. I think he’s in charge of butchering the victims, and a lot of the time he swipes their panties before he gets to work. Seeing how the family reacts to sex and relationships I think this secret is one that he keeps to himself pretty well even though I don’t think he’s good at keeping secrets at all. He keeps the panties in a drawer down in the basement and it’s pretty safe seeing as no one really goes down there for anything except for him.

H-Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Dude has a freaking jungle on him ngl he doesn’t shave or maintain it at all. He allows it to grow wild on him and unless you say something about how you prefer it he’s going to continue to let it do what it wants. His pubic hair is dark brown, similar to the hair on his head. It’s very curly and rough because he doesn’t groom it very well. Good thing is the hair doesn’t get too long because it breaks off at the ends often.

T-Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Dude probably doesn’t even know they exist. Like ngl I know he doesn’t get out much to experience ANYTHING and Drayton seems like the type that he wouldn’t allow those things in the house. So Bubba sadly has no toys to use or to use on you, because let’s face it if you’re in a relationship with him there’s no way you got there on your own. Closest thing he’s ever had to a sex toy is like a stuffed animal that he dry jumped against once then felt so bad about it that he trashed it immediately.

Mary Christiansen

D-Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Even though she’s never cheated, she used to fantasize about cheating on Joseph to let him know how it feels even though she doubts he would care. She would just like to see the look on his face when he realizes that like him, she went outside of their marriage to find pleasure. If they end up getting divorce and she ends up with you, she now think about how shitty he must feel knowing that you get her all to yourself and that you can actually treat someone properly. Like you’re just better than he is and that makes her feel as if she’s getting revenge in some way.

H-Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I feel like she doesn’t bother with shaving at all. Like she trims it so it doesn’t get too out of control, but she doesn’t make the effort to full on shave the bush off. Doesn’t really care or need to, she’s a grown woman that knows how to manage herself and her hygiene, and after getting used to having hair than not after having kids she is fine with it. I think her pubic hair is dark brown and curly. It’s not too thick at all which makes it easier to manage.

T-Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I honestly do not think Joseph would want her to have toys. It would cause him to go into a rant or whatever so she probably only has a vibrator that she hides from him and uses when he’s out of the house. If they do divorce and she ends up in a relationship with you I think she would be happy if you were willing to use them on her, and she would be happy to use them on you. I don’t know if she would buy any more though, maybe if you take her to a toy store.

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f1-disaster-bi · 2 years

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I just read the newest chapter & I have so many thoughts oh my gosh😭😭😭 first off that ending nooooo lando!!!!!!! He was doing so good but I had a feeling he would relapse :/ but I can’t believe Daniel didn’t even give him a chance to let him explain or believe him :( & the scene with max, ugh all the emotions! they are just two hurt boys</3 also I really really loved how sweet & tender the interaction with Charles was like ah my heart I was hoping for lando & Charles to mend that friendship or to accept his offer to hold his hand but then max showed up & then the ending of this chapter just makes me feel like it will be a while, do you think Charles texted Alex about the call perhaps? (I remember you saying you like putting insight on here that you can’t put in the fic) I feel like poor Jon is going to find him or actually now that I say it something worse :( okay I think these thoughts are like in the opposite order of the progression of the chapter or just random but I have so many emotions after reading! This chapter (& every chapter for that matter) is so good ahhhh I will most likely (actually) reread it tomorrow<3 I hope you have a good night & day & week & thank you for taking the time for writing this<3

I hope you've surrived the reread anon!

But yes! This chapter really went for it with the angst and that's why it took me so long to write. I was trying to set it all up so that while there was the possibility of a relapse....there was also progress. Lando wasn't just stopping drinking, he was reaching out and then it all falls apart and he doesn't know how to help with it!

I wanted to bring Charles in because if anyone could reach him, it was probably Charles because theres an understanding between them that he doesn't have with Alex and George. I also wanted to bring Max into it more because he is a complicated one in this, and he represents a little of what Lando originally accused Daniel off when trying to push him away. Daniel helped Max grow, but he didn't return Max's feelings and Max internalises so much that he can't move past that and when he sees Dan and Lando being close, and Lando is clearly struggling with something, he gets jealous because what does Lando have that makes Daniel look at him in a way he has never looked at Max?

As for Charles after the call, he is definetely worried when Lando doesn't text him after a little while or call him back. Lando assumed Charles knew he was lying but Charles likes to believe the best in people and he believed Lando when he said theyd talk later. When Lando doesn't reply, Charles would contact Alex but I could see him going to Alex's place because he just needs some comfort and George call him stupid for trying with Lando because "He's a prick, forget him" even though he wants to fix things too. So he would go to Alex and tell him that Lando actually talked to him, that it seemed Lando wanted to say something but wasn't ready yet and maybe it's going to be okay

But that was before Daniel came back and Charles has no idea that things won't be okay for a long time

#party au #dando #daniel/lando #max v #charles

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worfianism · 1 year

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Saudi Arabian GP 2023 thoughts

Uno what I'm so proud of lewis. He made those mediums LAST, he gained two positions, and he actually was it looked like keeping pace with those v old mediums even towards the end. George also did well like he did pick up the pace after that first bit with the hards once he was told he'd have to and they decided on the race strategy on his side of the garage and he had a great drive so I'm pleased with both the merc boys. Mercedes should have told lewis to push at the end though, if fernando was going to get a penalty at the end it was previously established (estie bestie in bahrain) that it would have been a 10 sec pen and lewis was in the end 10.2 seconds from nando so he absolutely should have been told to push.

An aside about the team orders drama which actually doesnt seem to have existed in the first place: george wasn't given team orders so he wasnt actually doing anything wrong because he did indeed pick up the pace once he was told he would have to and hes obviously pleased with the p3, lewis said George's p3 was amazing and he sounded better about his own performance than yesterday too so things seem relatively good on Lewis's side too, i also dont think the "nothing to do with me" comment is as shady as everyone seems to think coz it legit is nothing to do with him, like george got p3 on merit (and Fernando's bad luck) not because theres been much development on the car that lewis could have helped with so its not the same sort of team effort achievement that brazil was (not that im taking anything away from George's drive there either i just think it felt like a team win to everyone at merc including lewis) and like lewis is still his competitor so like I dont think it was so much a dig at george as it was just him being frustrated with his own race a little coz as well as he did he knows it could have gone better so I won't lie I'm still not that worried about Lewis and George's working relationship. I dont know if thats naive or not but like I'd rather not conjure up a fight that doesn't exist right now.

Yuki doing amazing today as well! Nearly got that point but he just missed out but he's made so much progress!

Poor Alex and lance :(((( safety car was odd af but fia shenanigans expected.

Oscar tho making his tyres last 49 laps and then doing a double overtake with them on lap 49???? I love that.

I feel like it'd be remiss to not mention max and Charles as well (not that I had any doubt that max would be on the podium today, hes obviously very talented but also the rb did cut through the field like butter and i will say i was disappointed we didnt actually get at least a nando max fight) but Charles was a pleasure to watch as he was climbing the field and its a shame that he wasn't really given a chance to get further ahead.

And well. Fernando losing his 100th podium after the fact is very fernando. And I think he was cursed inadvertently by one Monaco based YouTuber

Also im fond of checo so good win for him

Anyway another race done. Praying for improvement for the mercs.

#v makes a post #f1 #race thoughts #saudi arabian gp 2023

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becausefangirlsarereal · 2 years

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So here we go its my first and here we go.

I have no idea how to really beginn this. Theres my little oneshot for opie because I cant find enough storys from him.

If you have any tipps and tricks for me, or I am doing something wrong, please let me know.

So here’s my Opie x reader (female!reader)

“ What is your problem with her Man?” Opie looked at his Best Friend in disbelief. Didn’t he want him to be Happy?

“After all, I went through with Donna. I am so happy that I found something like this, but you hating her Kills me man.” The Biker nearly pleaded with his best friend by now. Finally the Blonde spoke up. “ I don’t hate her.” His voice a lot lighter than before and a little defensive. Opie didn’t think to say anything more, waiting that Jax would get to his damn Point. So he just looked at him impatiently waiting for him to speak his mind. The Hand of the smaller one running through his Hair. “I don't Know man.”

“What do you mean you dont know?” his voice getting a bit louder. Jax throws his Reaper Cap against the wall. “ I nearly lost you.” He looked at his Best friend with Sadness darkening his Eyes. The Big Biker remained silent waiting for his Brother to explain. “Fuck. After Donna. You and I both know how close you were to losing your shit Ope. How close you were to giving up. What if something happens? What if she gets hurt or she leaves you? I barely got you back together the last time.” Opie could see the Tears wanting to form in the Eyes of his Childhood best friend.

“I Can not lose you Brother.” The pain of the last months glistening in his eyes. Even Opie felt Pain. After Donna he wanted nothing more than to Destroy the whole World and himself with it. And shit he was really damn close to doing so. He looked at his friend who was nothing less than Family for him. He would die for this Man. Breathing in deeply he took a few steps towards Jax.

“Losing Donna was the hardest thing I had to feel in my life. And I had the same thoughts as you. Every Time even one of the Croweaters smiled at me I got scared. Shit it scared the crap out of me. I wanted myself to never get attached to a new relationship ever again.” The giant now taking his beanie off and looking on the floor. Pulling himself out of the negative feeling. With just the thought about the girl he met a few weeks ago.

“But I found her. I have no Idea how I deserved finding her. She is special and I don’t even know her really yet but already feel like I never want her to leave my side again. That Women has the ability to make me feel safe in this. To give me the chance to think that even with this shit that all of us are going through we are getting a happy Ending. Even though many would say we don't deserve it.” He was speaking out of his heart. Something he hasn't done in a long time. And he realized even more than before that he wanted Y/N to become his Old Lady.

He got distracted from his thoughts as he felt his brother embracing him. Instantly his arms went around the body and that was enough for both of them. No more words would be needed.

The Music was good and you enjoyed the company you had. Juice was the name of the Man drinking with you. Tattoos on both sides of his Head. He was a funny guy, making a lot of Jokes while playing a little dart with you. Actually you were surprised, after the last time you saw the members of SAMCRO they looked all pretty concerned and absolutely not to Joke around with. But juice kindly told you why that was and you could understand now. Why were you in a bar that was actually a Clubhouse from the famous Sons of Anarchy? Because your bestfriend Tara was there. You went to live in Chicago for a long time. Actually you had met her as a Patient, never telling anyone around that of course.

Since you got finally free of Alex you ran as far as you could. The Memory of you calling Tara with tears streaming down your face stinging in the little Cuts on your jaw.

A Hand at the small of your Back ripped you from your own thoughts. For a second you wanted to tell whoever it was to keep their Hands off you, but then you saw it was Ope, so you Instantly relaxed again. You two were not together or anything but you noticed the more then good tension between both of you. You grinned because he seemed to be happier than before he Vanished with Jax. Who just came around with some Shots and a few Beers.

“Let's have a little Fun.” The Blond spoke, you didn't really know what to do with the situation because just a few Minutes ago ‘the Prince’ Ignored you like he did in the Past.

A few Hours later you got out of the Clubhouse breathing in the Fresh Outside Air. A Tall Biker came through the Door right after you. “ Okey, now seriously,” you giggled, “what did you tell him? And don't you dare say “nothing”.”

The half open Mouth of the Biker closed again. For a few Moments there was silence. He discussed with himself if he should tell you or not. But he looked at you again, how you Smoked the cigarette you just lit, how beautiful you were even while doing something as normal as breathing. Fuck.

“He was scared you could hurt me.” Your expressions dropped the Second he said those words, so he continued his words immediately. “ Not on Purpose. But our life here in the Club. It is not the safest around. I bet Tara already told you something about that.”

You remained silent but didn’t look as Shocked anymore. Yes, Tara told you a few bits, nothing too much. But she saw what was going on between you and Ope and felt the need to tell you some stuff. Remembering your own shit you have been through. The more you stayed quiet, the more his Head sank thinking that you would be preparing words to let him down softly.

With that look on his face you couldn’t help yourself, stepped on your cigarette and took a few Steps towards him, while breathing the Remaining smoke in to the night air.

“ If you believe it or not, my life wasn’t the safest one before I came here. It would be nice to have that kind of life for a purpose. “

His Left Palm immediately came up to your Hips the more you spoke, the light came back to his eyes. His right Hand came up to your Face, gently holding your Chin in Place with his Index Finger and Thumb. “ Then let me call you mine.” he nearly whispered as his Lips came closer to yours. Hearts racing as they finally met. His were surprisingly soft, you could taste the Whiskey he drank all evening and the herb taste of him made you even more Hungry. The Grip on your Hip thightend, even squeezed for a second which made you gasp from the feeling. The clever Man used the movement to maneuver his Tongue inside your Mouth, not that you mind. For a moment both thought over Dominance as you explored each other, but after a little you lost more than willingly, giving him the Upper Hand in this. Your Hands nearly automatically found themselves on his Neck finger fondle with his Dark Hair. Before the feeling between you two could get even more heated you heard a howl next to you and simultanly looked to the source of the noise. It was Jax who grinned from ear to ear. “ Hey you guys still owe us a round of Tequila. “ He laughed one arm around Tara who grinned at you nearly more than her Boyfriend.

#opie winston #sons of anarchy #soa #ryan hurst #opie x reader #sons of anarchy imagine #opie winston imagine #jax teller

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weirdmageddon · 3 years

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five years too late let’s analyze this. the commentary has gotten me back into gravity falls reigniting thoughts and insights i came to years ago

i love everything about this commentary in general it hits the points of humor, genuine analysis of the characters, but most of all im so glad hirsch addressed that the droid not detecting any fear from dipper here doesnt make any scientific sense because that was a massive CinemaSins moment for me

IDK the fact that dipper can fucking stand after an airship crash because theres a bigger threat at hand is literally one of the defining capabilities owed to adrenaline lol...... IM SORRY im a biopsychology student if i dont point that out iwill seethe and die because that was just . its a grudge ive held for a long time about this episode but didnt rant about because it was something so minor and i’m sure nobody would care.

i was 13 when this episode came out and i’m almost 19 now, i had a special interest in biology and i still do but now i’m actually having college classes in biopsychology so i can give my arguments more oomph now. and i have to say, now that i know more about the brain and autonomic nervous system the more this scene bugs me, if that was even possible. and it says a lot of dipper and ford’s relationship.

if dipper clearly wasnt calm before, why would he be now just because he’s put up an outwardly confident facade? before he was in the flight but now hes in the fight. my boy just rode on top of a spaceship by nothing but a magnet gun that could detach at any time if it failed and then the ship crashed, he sustained injuries, is in emotional turmoil because he thinks his uncle is Fucking Dead and the threat of a security droid that detects adrenaline is on his tail and produces a Big Fucking Gun in response to dipper saying “i hAvE a MaGNeT gUn” and hes screaming and has his teeth clenched but sure there’s no adrenaline coursing through his body in that moment i can totally believe that

when dipper asks what happened, ford says “the orb didn’t detect any chemical signs of fear, it assumed the threat was neutralized and self-disassembled” but i don’t think measuring someone’s heartbeat alone is particularly relevant in detecting ... chemical signs of fear?? they dont really tell you this shit but noradrenaline (and maybe adrenaline too if the acetylcholine from sympathetic outflow always activates the adrenal medulla??, theres two pathways) is always active in small quantities to make sure your parasympathetic nervous system doesnt slow your heart to dangerous levels on its own, regardless of your emotions. it’s just a homeostatic mechanism. your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems are CONSTANTLY modulating control of your organs on a see-saw, literally with every breath you take. simply standing upright causes specialized mechanoreceptor neurons in blood vessels to signal your brain to project signals to release catecholamines via the sympathetic nervous system to constrict your blood vessels so that blood is able to reach your brain and not pool in your legs. i have a deficiency in my body’s ability to adapt to this which is why i know so much about it. if i stand up my heart races to compensate. i’m not feeling fear, my body is just adjusting—albeit grossly and incompetently lol.

but what im saying here is that the security system is flawed. it’s a cool idea to have security droids detect fear, but in practice by detecting adrenaline, and not even directly by detecting the molecule itself—it’s done in a roundabout way by reading the heartbeat, could be a recipe for false alarms. like what if someone’s on beta-blockers. that’s not really an adequate way to measure “fear”; there’s so many variables that could interfere with the measurement the farther you abstract from what you’re really trying to detect. and besides, adrenaline is NOT just a sign of fear, it’s just for preparing the body for action. i know the sympathetic nervous system and adrenaline is constantly linked with the “fight-or-flight” reaponse to a stressor, but 99.9% of the time the sympathetic nervous system is used in your life is to balance out your parasympathetic nervous system to maintain homeostatic equilibrium for mundane things.

i think detecting amygdalar activation would be more efficient in detecting fear. the amygdala sends projections to the hypothalamus which then in turn modulates the autonomic nervous systems. but the amygdala is intensely activated specifically in response to a fear-inducing stimulus (it does activate in response to other emotions but they’re mostly negative and is most activated by startle and fear), and wouldnt be highly activated by many other confounding variables like measurement of the heartbeat could be. the amygala is one of the first stops directly from external stimuli.

to show you how integrated the amygdala is as the first step in registering fear after receiving input from sensory stimuli let’s look at the auditory-amygdala connection for example

see how the auditory thalamus projects to the primary auditory cortex and auditory association cortex? the cortex is where conscious awareness of what the stimuli is comes from. this is the “high road”. it goes sensing -> perception -> emotional response. but sometimes you can be startled without even processing what it is you’re sensing, like the startle response of an alarm or a phone ringing in a quiet house before you even register what it is. this goes sensing -> emotional response, without perception happening until after you’ve already felt the startle. that’s when it takes the “low road”. here’s a simplified version:

even if that were the case with these droids though it’s obvious dipper is still fearful on some level here. his body language, voice, expressions all give it away. for the amygdala, aggression isnt too off from fear so it would be detected equally.

the reason this is so important is because ford uses this as evidence for why dipper is special, “i did it?” “you did it. this is what i was talking about, how many 12 year olds do you think are capable of doing what you’ve just done?”

but like....did he really? i’m not saying this to shoot dipper down or make him out to be more of a wuss, he was incredibly strong-willed here and i dont want to take that away from him because it WAS growth on his part. but the underlying psychophysiological reactions of aggression and fear shouldn’t be that different and this was a total asspull. maybe the droid was so old that it fucked up. maybe dipper being covered in grime and dirt made it harder for the droid to measure the correct heart rate through photoplethysmography (im assuming since they use a camera and are non-contact).

and in all honesty everything i just said brings into question the interpersonal healthiness of ford’s judgements, what he thinks, his expectations, and how he communicates that. in this video alex already talks about how ford is projecting onto dipper. and i think ford may be projecting his expectations for himself onto people who are not him, and the fact that it’s on dipper here makes it far more unfortunate. you realize how much this boy idolizes ford, right? how much impressions matter? dipper even tells himself before he leaves in this same episode, “all right dipper, this is your first big mission with great uncle ford. don’t mess this up.”

even though it’s unstated, the implicit message dipper is perceiving from ford based on their dynamic is: “do you have what it takes for me to be proud of you?” and to accomplish this he must be like ford, even though he’s clearly not and he knows this. he says “i don’t think have what it takes. i was tricked by bill, i was wrong about stan’s portal, heck, i can’t even operate this magnet gun right.” then, by simple chance without even knowing what he did, he activates the magnet gun and pulls out the adhesive, which immediately takes the focus away from what dipper was telling ford about his feelings of inadequacy to ford saying, “yes! dipper, you found the adhesive!”

these thoughts of dipper’s hang in the air without resolve or comment from ford. we don’t know what ford would have said. but it then becomes painfully self-evident in the scene immediately after when the droids emerge and ford tells dipper, “they’re security droids and they detect adrenaline. you simply have to not feel any fear and they won’t see you”, to which dipper replies with an exasperated (and rightful) “WHAT?”

dipper goes in a panic trying to indirectly tell his uncle that this isn’t something he can do. and he is completely right and valid to be freaked out by that full stop. that IS crazy. you can’t control your fear. you can control how you interpret that fear in your higher brain regions but the physiological changes will stick around for longer than it takes to cognitively calm down. it’s easy for me to detach from my emotions to analyze them, but being able to do this does not come naturally for everyone. even i have an irrational fear of wasps and i can’t control it by detaching myself, my body is just automatically primed to get the fuck out of there. i know it’s stupid and i know it’s irrational and isn’t helpful to get myself worked up but i literally can’t stop how my body reacts no matter how i cognitively think about it. expecting composure from dipper in a situation like this when he’s being made to consciously be aware of his anxiety is absolutely fucking insane. look what you did, placing these cruel expectations on him, now he’s afraid of being afraid! this isn’t a case where two wrongs cancel out, they just stack on top of each other.

youtube

there’s a good reason these scenes were put side by side but it seems up until now it had remained unanalyzed.

what dipper fears from ford is disappointment. not living up to his uncle’s (quite frankly badly placed) expectations for a twelve year old with anxiety. not once did ford say or subliminally communicate “i don’t expect you to be able to do what i can since you are not as experienced as i am and that’s perfectly okay, no judgements”. you don’t put a child on bike before training wheels. you don’t throw a kid into a swimming pool without giving them swimming lessons. the way ford is doing it, there’s no room for trial and error or mistakes that are an opportunity to grow and learn; instead, it’s life or death. he only seems to pride dipper on what he can do while ignoring the underlying struggles that plague him and never making it known it’s okay for dipper to fail in front of his hero and that he won’t think anything less of him for it.

and that’s why i found the ending scene for dipper and ford’s adventure in this episode to feel so.. wrong. on a scientific and social level. because by the sound of it ford focused more on what dipper had done to dismantle the droid (the droid not detecting any fear) instead of how dipper displayed love and protection for him even if he was truly afraid. what if the science was accurate and the droid detected adrenaline while dipper was confidently standing up for his uncle. would ford still be proud of him regardless?

#can you tell how i’m similar to ford but also so different like i said in that other post lol #gravity falls #analysis #dipper pines #stanford pines #long post #gf #gravity falls meta

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the-ship-maker-2 · 3 years

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Uno reverse card! Reader is yandere for jess, jay, brian, alex, and tim (from marble hornets)(separate). >:) What do they do?

This is gonna be a long one

Reader is yandere for Tim HCs

-oh no

-no no no

-no not in a million years

-hes already paranoid as it is

-he does not need this bullshit added to it

-you would probably leave him gifts on his front porch

-or in his house 👀👀👀

-he throws all of your attempts away

-he hopes that by doing so hes not encouraging you to continue and eventually you'll stop

-but that just makes you try harder

Brian

-nope

-hes nipping that shit in the bud

-he ain't having it

-he thinks its amusing tho

-that you think that you can get him to love you

-you would leave little love notes outside of his house.

-telling you how much you love him and words of affirmation

-you almost had him fooled he almost fell for you

-but he knows that if you're a yandere then it's a bad sign

-he leaves you a not so nice note in return

Jay

-poor baby

-hes confused

-why would anyone want to love him?

-i mean hes flattered but why?

-tbh I think he might be more susceptible to that kind of relationship

-but the thing is that you're not really doing anything bad?

-you actually make his life easier

-getting rid of mild inconveniences

-lots of acts of service

-if you keep it up you might have a chance with him :)

Alex

-AW HELL NO

-absolutely not

-theres only room for one yandere in this town

-and that's him

-ain't no one gonna take his place

-still he is curious about meeting another yandere

-and one that's yandere over him?

-oh this is too good

it's an elaborate cat and mouse game

-and maybe you'll both get what you want out of it

Jessica

-shes so unaware

-she has no idea that she has a yandere stalker

-she just goes about her day

-as if nothing is going on

-meanwhile "every step you take I'll be watching you"

-her yandere would be in the same public space that she is

-watching her

-hiding in plain sight

-they think that this is their form of quality time with her

-but it couldn't be farther from the truth.

I hope you like these and feel free to ask again!

#marble hornets #tim wright #mh masky #brian thomas #hoody marble hornets #jay merrick #alex kralie #jessica locke #yandere!reader x Tim #yandere!reader x Brian #yandere!reader x Jay #yandere!reader x Alex #yandere!reader x Jessica #head canons #send me requests #please flood my inbox #please and thank you

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lovesick-feelin · 3 years

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i might just keep sending these cos theres so many wonderful ones

willex, 34?

Oh my lord this got away from me I am SO sorry. (I'm not sorry, though, because I had so much fun writing this. Like, wow.) I will get to the other prompts as soon as possible but in the meantime enjoy almost 3k of literally just fluff.

This started as a cute scene in the studio and turned into a study on Willie's obsession with Alex's hands and then suddenly it was a love confession. Oops.

Prompt me! | Read on AO3

The first time it happens, Willie chalks it up to nerves.

Alex is new to the whole ghost thing, Willie reasons. He might not still be super comfortable phasing through doors like it’s nothing. It’s been forty years since Willie had any sort of pulse, but he knows it would be pounding right now as he puts on a casual front, swinging his arm forward and then back to grab Alex’s hand.

Alex jumps like he’s been shocked with static electricity, eyes flying down to their joined hands and then back up to Willie’s face. He doesn’t pull away, though, and the tension that appeared in his shoulders is gone as quick as it arrived, and then he smiles, so Willie knows he’s good.

They’ve hung out three or four times since they first met on Sunset Boulevard, and Willie has decided he’s starting a catalogue of Alex’s smiles; this one is new. It’s shyer than the “Grateful You’re Answering My Questions” smile Willie got on the bench, not touched with laughter like the “Oh, This One Time” smile Alex uses when he tells stories about his bandmates. This one is startled, a little awkward, but soft and open, and Willie has a good feeling in his chest that Alex doesn’t share this smile with a lot of people.

Willie knows that if he lets himself keep staring at it, though, it’ll become the “Kissed Right Off My Face” smile, so he tears his eyes away from Alex and tugs them both into the museum, never letting go of his hand.

Somehow they’ve moved from palms clasped to fingers interlocked in the five seconds before they jumped through the doors, and Willie can feel the rough drumstick calluses on Alex’s palms and fingers, some edged with torn skin and others worn to permanence with the passage of time, all now permanently affixed in whatever state they were in when Alex died. There’s a large one right on the pad of Alex’s thumb that keeps brushing over the back of Willie’s hand, smaller ones tucked into the insides of his knuckles, and Willie wants to memorize all of them, all these little reminders that Alex bled and breathed and played music and was alive.

Willie kind of wants to never let go of Alex’s hand ever, but he didn’t drag Alex to this empty museum just to be weird and hold his hand, and Willie’s already caught sight of three different potential jumps that look just sick enough to impress the cute boy to his left, so it’s with some reluctance that he releases his grip on Alex to put his helmet on and cruise the gallery.

Willie finds himself tracing the smooth lines of his own palm later, after Alex leaves, remembering how the calluses felt against his palms and the way Alex gripped his hand, hesitant at first but then with intention, like even if Willie hadn’t grabbed his hand, Alex would have wanted him to.

When Willie grabs Alex’s hand at the Hollywood Ghost Club to help launch him over the tables and onto the dance floor, there’s that same initial shock that flies through Alex’s body, but it’s gone too fast for Willie to even be conscious of it, swept away by the adrenaline of the music and the way Alex is smiling at him, looking alive. This is the closest Willie has to any sort of home turf in the afterlife, and Alex is here, eyes lit up under the glow of the stage lights. Willie wants to take the memory of Alex’s face when he got up to dance and etch it frame for frame in stone: Alex’s tongue pressed against the side of his cheek, the way his bandmates cheered and jostled his shoulders but Alex’s eyes stayed on Willie the entire time. Willie didn’t know his cheeks could flush anymore, doesn’t know how it’s possible, but Alex sends him reeling that way, pink and warm and like he’s glowing.

Willie squeezes their hands together briefly, finding the callus on Alex’s thumb and sweeping his touch over it quickly enough to make it seem like an accident, and he swears he hears Alex’s breath catch above the roar of the music, their eyes meeting like an electric charge.

Luke and Reggie find themselves swept away by dance partners right away, and Willie’s just summoning up the courage to grab Alex and show him all the partner dances he knows when a lifer in a steel gray ball gown asks him for directions, and Willie has to show her to the stairs. He ducks and weaves his way through the crowd, laughing with delight as he watches Maya shred on the piano, and then Caleb catches his eye with a flashing grin and jerks his thumb towards the dance floor.

And there’s Alex, being twirled around by Dante, feet flying, and his smile is wide and startled and Willie wants to be the recipient of it so bad it aches. Fuego appears out of nowhere to catch Alex by his other hand, and Willie finds himself bowled over by a wave of ice cold envy, that anyone else should be granted the privilege of Alex’s touch without earning it.

Alex catches his eye and brightens like a fucking sun, beckoning Willie onto the dance floor, but the dancers twirl everywhere and everyone wants to touch Alex and Willie is in stupid, hopeless, maybe-love after knowing this boy for two weeks and it’s all too much, threatening to knock him over, so Willie tries to salvage what’s left of his crumbling foundations and bolts.

Willie doesn’t get to hold his hand again until suddenly it might be for the last time ever.

Everything is too fast, too sudden, and Willie doesn’t even get the chance to stop Alex from backing away before suddenly he’s sweeping forward and clutching onto Willie’s shoulders like he’s a buoy in a violent storm. Willie’s brain catches up after a moment. He buries his face in Alex’s neck and Alex smells like springtime, peony and cucumber and rainwater, like things waking up and coming back to life. Willie holds him like a lifeline, like hope of resurrection, and tries not to think about going back to the way things were before, trying to exist around the gaping maw Alex created when he crashed into Willie’s afterlife.

When they pull apart, it's out of some kind of necessity that Willie twines their fingers together. Alex tenses but doesn’t flinch, and Willie wants to ask about it, would ask about it if they had the time they deserved, but they don’t, because the universe is cruel and Willie is selfish and unthinking and so, so in love, and so he doesn’t ask and he settles for squeezing Alex’s hand one more time, memorizing every callus as if the phantom sensation of their hands intertwined might lead him to some sort of healing.

“I’ll see you around, Hot Dog,” Willie says just to watch the blush of indignance color Alex’s cheeks one more time before he forces himself to drop Alex’s hand and skate down the block out of sight. I would have still followed you, Alex had told him on the back of that couch in the Orpheum, face open and vulnerable, the closest he’ll ever come to a confession of what lay between them, and Willie has to force himself not to look back. If Alex could take Willie’s hand and tug him to the other side of whatever limbo this is the way Willie tugged him through those museum doors, Willie would follow him too, because he’d follow Alex anywhere. It just seems like fate has other plans.

It turns out, Willie thinks later, standing in the late night dark of the museum with Alex’s callused hands cradling his jaw and their foreheads pressed together, bathed in an impossible golden glow, that fate might just know what she’s doing.

“Why do you always do that?”

“Huh?” Alex looks up from the sheet music he’s studying, something Luke had shoved into his hands as he sprinted out of the garage that was just too good for Alex not to read right now. Julie is at school and Luke is with Reggie scoping out new venues for the afternoon, so they’ve got the studio to themselves, the concrete floors bathed in sunlight that turns Alex’s floppy hair to gold. He’s wearing Willie’s favorite shirt, the olive green Bowie one, and his jacket has been abandoned to the back of a chair. Willie is definitely not ogling his arms.

Willie holds up their joined hands before letting them fall again to rest between them on the couch. “Whenever I grab your hand. You, uh, you always flinch a little.”

Alex blinks, setting the sheet music down and suddenly looking self conscious enough that Willie almost regrets saying anything. “Oh. I didn’t realize I was doing it.”

“I didn’t think you did,” Willie says easily, shifting his body to face Alex fully and tucking his feet up underneath him. “Everything okay? We don’t, um,” he continues, fumbling over his words, “if you don’t, like, like holding hands, we don’t have to --”

“No, no, no!” Alex cuts him off quickly. “I like it. Like, a lot. We don’t have to stop.”

“Oh.” Willie knows his face is as pink as Alex’s hoodie. “Good. That’s - that’s good.”

Alex shrugs. “I don’t know why I flinch. Just embarrassed, I guess.”

Here Willie has to pause. “Embarrassed?”

“I guess.”

“About what?”

Alex shrugs awkwardly, bringing his socked feet up onto the couch to hug his knees, their joined hands still tucked between them. “I’ve just always been weird about my hands,” he says, staring at his free hand, Luke’s sheet music forgotten. “I have all those ugly calluses. You know, from my drumsticks. Never liked them.”

Willie can’t help the giggle that bursts out of him, and Alex’s eyes fly to his face. “What?” he asks, mouth quirking up in what Willie’s now categorized as his “I Don’t Know What’s Going On But You’re Cute” smile, and Willie hums.

“Just ironic,” he muses, bringing Alex’s hand up to hold in both of his. “I’ve always loved your calluses.”

It’s Alex’s turn to blush. Willie earns himself a “Museum Date” smile and high-fives himself internally. “Really?” Alex asks, and Willie nods earnestly, turning Alex’s hand over to rest palm up in the cradle of his hands.

“Honestly, man? I’m, like, kind of obsessed with them.” He skims the lightest of touches over the small calluses tucked in the creases of Alex’s fingers and revels in the soft gasp Alex lets out. “Like, you loved something so much,” Willie murmurs, smoothing his thumb over a large one on Alex’s palm below his pointer finger, “that it tethered itself to your soul. Calluses are, like, proof of that passion. You were alive, and you loved this.” Willie reaches with his other hand and traces the edges of the callus on Alex’s thumb. “Even when it hurt you.”

He looks up and Alex is so still in the afternoon sunlight, like he’s suspended in amber. He’s so gorgeous it hurts. “I never thought of it like that,” Alex manages, voice hoarse, and Willie nods, suddenly finding that he can’t speak at all. He brings Alex’s hand up and presses his lips to the pad of his thumb, the seam of his mouth meeting the center of the time-hardened scar. Alex looks like he might faint.

“You really like them,” he breathes, and Willie nods again, not breaking eye contact as he moves, pressing feather-light kisses to the calluses on Alex’s fingers and palm.

“I really like you,” he answers, pulling Alex closer still to kiss the nonexistent pulse on the soft inside of Alex’s wrist. If Willie’s heart still beat it would be pounding out of his chest. Alex goes so easily, like clay in Willie’s hands, and it’s so easy for Willie to take his other hand and draw Alex’s legs out flat on the couch, all guardedness abandoned. Willie slides into his lap, knowing full well that he isn’t fooling anyone, that Alex can feel the way Willie’s breath stutters as he trails kisses to the crook of Alex’s elbow. Alex’s hand falls to the dip of Willie’s waist, the hem of the tie-dye crop slipping up so that Alex’s palm is pressed fully against the bare skin there, and it’s a crime how well it fits, like it was supposed to rest there, like nature intended it.

“I like your hands,” Willie murmurs, and he knows he couldn’t control the words spilling out of his mouth right now even if he wanted to. “I like holding them. I like the way the calluses feel on my palms.” He presses a kiss to Alex’s upper arm where the sleeve of his shirt meets skin, and when he drops it Alex’s other hand flies automatically to the small of Willie’s back, anchoring him like a magnet. Willie meets his gaze and Alex’s pupils are blown wide, eyes so blue Willie could drown in them, and his hands. Willie feels like he’s on fire everywhere Alex is touching him and somehow it isn’t enough.

“I like how steady they get when you play the drums,” Willie hums, steadying himself with two hands on Alex’s chest and dropping a kiss to his shoulder. “I like watching. I love,” and here he kisses Alex’s exposed collarbone, revels in the catch of his breath, “when you twirl your drumsticks. So easy, like you’re not even trying.”

Willie noses up and kisses the curve of Alex’s neck. Alex’s grip tightens on Willie’s waist, head tilting pliantly to the side to give him easier access. “Willie,” he breathes, but he doesn’t need to say anything else. Willie knows.

“I love it when you hold me,” he murmurs, still trailing kisses up Alex’s neck. “I love your hands on my waist, and my back, and my shoulders.” He mouths at Alex’s stupidly perfect jawline, kissing the corner. “I love your hands on my face when you kiss me.” Another kiss pressed to Alex’s cheekbone, just by his ear. “I love when they’re in my hair.”

Alex inhales sharply and then the hand on Willie’s back is skating up to thread itself in his hair, always so careful and gentle and intentional, even now, when Willie’s got him completely undone. Their foreheads are pressed together, breath mingling in the space between them, and Willie kisses Alex’s cheek again, each corner of his mouth, the lightest touch to his cupid’s bow, and the words that have sat inside of him since that day on Sunset Boulevard and maybe since the universe was created, well, they don’t seem so heavy anymore.

“I love your hands,” Willie breathes, everything around them impossibly still, “because I love you. If you can believe it.”

The shaky sigh that Alex lets out is audible, almost a cry, and then he’s kissing Willie, using the hand in his hair to guide the tilt of their heads and slotting their lips together so perfectly that Willie kind of wants to cry. He steadies himself with an arm on the back of the couch and reaches with his other hand for Alex’s arm. Without breaking the kiss Willie guides Alex’s other hand to cup his face, wrapping his own hand around Alex’s wrist and losing himself in the easy give and take of kissing this boy. This boy, who loved Willie so fiercely that he saved his soul, whose touch unravels him like spun sugar, who Willie could spend an eternity with. He will, if Alex will let him, and Willie just thinks he might.

They separate just enough to breathe, eyes closed and foreheads touching. Willie blinks his eyes open first, slowly, and the sight of Alex right there, flushed and radiant and gorgeous, is enough to knock the wind out of Willie’s lungs. He drops his hand from Alex’s wrist to reach up and brush some of the hair off of his forehead, pressing a kiss to his hairline. Alex hums, leaning into the touch, skating his thumb over Willie’s cheekbone before dropping his hand back to the dip of his waist.

“Wow,” Willie says quietly, the first to really break the silence, and Alex huffs out a quiet laugh. He runs his fingers gently through Willie’s hair all the way to the ends, lets his head flop back on the arm of the couch, blue eyes warm and his smile easy and open, and he’s the most beautiful, devastating thing Willie has ever seen.

“I love you too,” Alex says hoarsely, and then clears his throat. “By the way,” he adds, and there’s the rest of the Alex that Willie knows, always a little anxious but never unsure. Willie’s helpless to do anything but lean in and kiss him again, because he loves him. Golden, gentle, awkward, beautiful Alex, who loves Willie so intentionally, who guarded his heart so carefully even when it had already given itself away, who sees Willie for all his mistakes and jagged edges and broken parts and loves him for all of it, on purpose, but still worried over the calluses on his palms as if they made him anything less than perfect.

Alex kisses him back and Willie’s heart sings, and it feels just a little bit like forever.

#asks #prompt fills #jatp #fairylightsandrainydays #i shouldn't even be surprised that i let this get so long #but i hope you like it!#julie and the phantoms #willex #alex mercer #willie jatp #willex fanfiction #isa writes

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stardewvalley-headcanons · 3 years

Text

Alex's Accident

Incase you didn't know Alex only has 4 fingers on his hand so this is a short little thing about it.

Right at the peek of his highschool football career he got into a terrible car accident. He was sitting in the back seat and got T-boned. His left hand only missing one finder due to the window shattering and slicing up his finger. But his righthand was almost completely destroyed leaving him with only his thumb,ring and pinky finger. He lost his middle finger completely and only has half of his pointer finger left, stopping at his first knuckle. And his right foot got completely destroyed leaving him to wearing a prosteic foot.

He thought his life was over. But with enough begging and pleading he was able to finnish his senior year playing gridball and when it was time to accept scholarships he applied to almost all of them. Because there was no way they would be able to pay for a good college with the funds they had.

"Theres no way they could say no to you sweetie. They all saw the way you play and saw your abilities. Even with your hands. You were the best player ever out there. There is no way they'll deny you." Evelyn said lightly putting her hand over Alex's shoulder.

They both were starting at the two letters on the tabke addressed to him from the schools he applied scholarships for.

"I'm still a little scared what-"

"Just open the damn letters." George grumbled.

Alex nodded and grabbed the letter on top. He opened it and read really fast.

"I-I didn't get in." He said and he could feel tears in his eyes.

"Try opening this one im sure you'll get into this one." She gave him the letter.

He sniffed and quickly opened it.

"I didn't get into this one eather. Wah-" His breath hitches.

"Oh Alex I'm sure its because if something else. Let's just wait for more to come in until we jump the gun." Evelyn said trying to calm him.

"Y-yeah your right." He said hugging her.

But the next ones that came after that were also declined.

And the next.

Until he fanily got one that accepted him. And when he went to go speak to them, they quickly declined their offer after seeing his hands.

He was heart broken. He had it all figured out. It was going to work out for him.

He was going to go pro and get enough money to take care if his grandparents.

Now his dreams were all gone. Forever. He would hardly touch his gridball.

He decided to take a gap year so he can think about what he wanted to do. But he still had no idea.

One year turned into two. Then three. And he spent all that time working out to better himself. Bearly spending time with friends.

Then a new farmer came to town.

And no matter how hard he tried he couldn't stay away. He found himself outside more and more, wanting to see the Farmer.

Wanting to look normal he would throw his gridball and make himself look busy.

Even though he really just wanted to see the Farmer.

Still holding on to the very slim chance of becoming pro he still brags about it.

But as time goes on he realized that that dream will never be a achievable. And he settles down.

He moves with the farmer and gets restless and started to do farm work.

When he sees how happy he makes the farmer just by doing a little bit of farm work he realizes that he doesn't need to be pro to be satisfied with himself. The farmers love is all he needs to be fulfilled in his life. The farmer doesn't see him as weak because of his hands and foot and sees him as an equal and doesn't back down on giving him more work to do.

The money from the farm was more then enough for him to easily take care if his grandparents.

"You know when I got into that car accident, I though my whole life was over. Everyone was telling me that there was no way I would be able to achieve my dreams of going pro and treated me like I was useless. Then you came along and showed me that that's not true. Not one bit. Before you came here I bleaved every word they said and I probably would have killed myself if you haven't come by. You really mean the word to me and I'm so grateful that I met you. I love you."

#sdv alex #stardew #stardew valley #alex stardew valley #stardew valley alex #stardew alex #alex stardew #alex sdv #sdv #i love alex so much

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marshmallow-xphile · 3 years

Text

My thoughts on the sexuality of some of my favorite X-files characters.

I posted this in my X-files amino back in June as part of a LGBTQ pride challenge and for some reason I only just thought to post it here as well.

Fox Mulder: openly bisexual

Mulder is so open sexually that I really don't think gender matters all that much to him. He does seem to prefer females but I wouldn't be even remotely surprised if he had a boyfriend or two in the past. I don't think he's flamboyant about his sexuality but I don't think he'd hide it at all either

My evidence:

In the season one episode "Ghost in the Machine" we meet an Mulder's ex-partner, Jerry, and I absolutely feel like there is an ex-lovers vibe to the both of them. They hug upon first seeing each other, Mulder looks incredibly happy to see him, when Mulder says they worked together Jerry corrects him to say they were partners at which point Mulder looks over at Scully as if to see her reaction. Mulder has this real guilty look to him. When Jerry acts a little self conscious Mulder is real quick to jump in and reassure him. They get in each other's personal space. It just really leaves me with the impression that they care deeply for one another and broke up for other reasons, perhaps the different career goals as Mulder tells Scully.

We also have Mulder with Krycek. From the very beginning of Krycek's involvement with the X-files I feel like the writers went out of their way to make a correlation between the change in partnership and a new partner in a relationship. There is a scene in Sleepless where Mulder and Scully are on the phone and Mulder tells Krycek he'll be right there, the rest of the conversation feels reminiscent of two exes chatting about the change brought about by the new relationship. Scully even brings up that it must be nice having a partner who doesn't question his every theory.

There were many scenes in Sleepless, Duane Barry, and Ascension in which Mulder and Krycek were alone but that we never got to see who knows for example what the two of them got to talking about while they were stuck in traffic during the drive to New York in Sleepless. Or how often they hung out between Sleepless and Duane Barry.

During Mulder and Scully's partnership Mulder only called her 'Dana' on a few emotional occasions. He started casually calling Krycek 'Alex' almost immediately.

Let us not forget the infamous speedo scene. While yes it definitely showed more of a Krycek attraction to Mulder than the opposite. It does make one wonder what led him to wear such a revealing bathing suit. How many straight men do you know who wear speedos? My guess is few. How many straight men wear speedos when they can reasonably assume their male partner will show up looking for them? Not many would be guess.

And then there is their relationship after Krycek is revealed to be a traitor. They both tend to act more like scorned lovers than enemies and notice that it's Mulder, not Krycek, who cannot seem to keep his hands off the other. Seriously it's like every time Krycek shows up, Mulder immediately grabs him.

Now here's a couple quotes from Mulder,

Krycek tells Mulder he most be losing it because Krycek beat him with one hand. Mulder's immediate reaction: "isn't that how you like to beat yourself?"

When the little man in Humbug is lined up pretty much exactly with Mulder's crotch he says that Mulder would be surprised how many women find his size alluring. Mulder's immediate reaction: "you'd be surprised how many men do as well"

How many straight guys do you know comfortable enough with their sexuality to make a gay innuendo? I personally cannot think of any.

Dana Scully: bicurious

I believe that Scully is sometimes attracted to women. It definitely is not as blatant as with Mulder and I really don't think she's had any past girlfriends but I definitely think that there is an attraction.

My evidence:

In the episode "Ice" I really felt like there are a few tender moments between her and Felicity Huffman's character especially while they were examining one another for the worms. That examination had a sort of sexual energy to it I thought.

In the episode "kill switch" theres a moment where the Invisagoth asked if she could have her handcuffs removed or if she should type with her tongue. Mulder mentions that she doesn't want a vote there and the look on Scully's face and the way she licks her lips, I definitely get the impression that she would have been perfectly happy to see what Invisagoth could get up to with that tongue.

Some people point to Scully's relationship with Reyes as evidence of her bisexuality, I personally don't see any attraction there on Scully's side but I don't think its outside the realm of possibility.

Monica Reyes: Closeted lesbian

This one's probably a surprise I know there was something between here and Brad as well as a flirtation with Doggett so you would probably think she was Bisexual but honestly was either one of those even remotely convincing? To me they weren't. I believe that Reyes is a lesbian.

I kind of go back and forth on whether she's open about it. Reyes is very spiritual and open so it seems strange that she would be in the closet but maybe she has a reason, fear of it affecting her career in the FBI perhaps? It just seems strange that she keeps pursuing these heterosexual relationships she has no passion for unless she is trying to hide her true passion.

My evidence:

I admit I really have very little evidence but look at the relationship between Reyes and Brad Follmer. It had all the chemistry of two people who got really drunk once and cannot remember sleeping together. I don't for a second believe she was ever in love with Brad nor he in love with her.

Then you've got the same thing between her and Doggett. Yes the writers were obviously trying for a romantic angle with the two of them but to me it never came across as convincing. It seemed more like she thought of him as a good friend and figured she might as well date him, I saw no evidence of love or attraction.

On the other hand look at her and Scully. While I feel like the attraction there was one sided I definitely feel like Reyes was into Scully or Dana as she would call her. Reyes was willing to risk her life for Scully and yes that is her job after all but Reyes seems to take that above and beyond and it's not just Scully herself but also William. Look at how protective Reyes is of William in The Truth and of the sacrifice Scully made in giving him up. She seems to care even more than Mulder on that.

Cigarette-Smoking-Man: Asexual

CSM has probably had sex at some point, he is of course the father of at least three children but I do not think that he was ever in love with any of these women or even attracted to them. I believe they were all just a means to an end.

I believe that CSM's only love was for his cigarettes

Evidence:

There is a little bit of evidence that he might have actually felt something for Teena Mulder but I don't buy it. He freely admits that he felt nothing for Cassandra Spender but he must've been convincing if he got her to marry him and we have seen him fake emotions more than once. He also seemed to show an attraction to Scully in En Ami but that too was just a means to an end. Perhaps he does feel something towards all the women he has impregnated but I wouldn't call it love. I don't see any real attraction there either. My bet is that CSM needed some "help" in order to produce his offspring.

Alex Krycek: Gay

While Krycek did have an obviously sexual relationship with Marita Covarrubias he definitely didn't have any real feelings for her and I don't buy attraction either. No I'd say they were both just trying to use sex to get what they wanted. His anger at finding the Russian boy gone wasn't because he was heartbroken at her betrayal. Merely mad that she'd managed to get the upper hand.

Whether Krycek is open or in the closet I'm not sure, I'm thinking it probably depends on the mission hes on at the time.

Evidence:

Of everyone on this list I'd say Krycek is the one I'm the most sure of. There is no doubt in my mind that Krycek was attracted to, perhaps even in love with, Fox Mulder. From the very beginning there appeared to be a bit of longing in his eyes.

There was the speedo scene wherein Krycek was definitely checking Mulder out. There were several scenes where Krycek could've killed Mulder but chose to help him instead.

As I've seen pointed out before, Krycek's crazy motivational choices don't make any sense at all unless it's all in an effort to be around Mulder more.

Look at his sense of style and his obvious love for lip gloss. I am not saying that straight men cannot love lip gloss and dress themselves in Krycek's fashion but it is uncommon and it was especially so back in the 90s

The infamous kiss in The Red and the Black could certainly be explained away as some kind of Russian custom but it isn't one that I am aware of and he hasn't really shown any other signs of his Russia heritage.

I would say my best evidence of Krycek's sexuality is in Essence and Existence, just look at the look on Krycek's face when Mulder trusts him to protect Scully. Krycek knows what Scully means to Mulder and then look at how seriously Krycek takes the job! I definitely feel like that moment meant a lot to him and he would have protected Scully with his life for Mulder.

There's also the fact that Krycek's unwillingness to kill Mulder lead to his own death.

Of course asking Skinner to shoot Mulder goes against this theory but I do have a couple thoughts on that, the most sensical being that he knew there was no chance Skinner would shoot Mulder and he probably knew there was no chance he would survive anymore. Maybe he made that request in hopes of sparing Mulder any pain he might have otherwise felt at his death (I know it's a bit of a stretch but my other theories require a long explanation of my thoughts on where the series had planned to go next)

The lone gunmen: no one knows....not even them

Three (I don't count Jimmy for this) single adult men who all live together in very cramped quarters and are, at least in Langley's case, perfectly happy to be around each other without thier clothes on certainly makes it seem like there's something between them all but I really don't get a overtly gay impression with any of them, even Langley who as mentioned doesn't like to wear pants and is the only one who hasn't had a love interest. They just have this sort of Vegas-esque thing. "What happens in the bachelor pad/newspaper room stays in the bachelor pad/newspaper room.

I would love to hear other people's thoughts on these and any other X-files characters you think might be somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum.

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realsilentsaint · 3 years

Text

Okay, so. Wow. That was a lot. Here are my final thoughts on everyone and the story line.

Russell Adler:

- Boi, does this man confuse me

- A part of me fully understands where he's coming from and why he did what he did

- I honestly wasn't that mad at him

- I, however, did not like the way he pressured Bell towards the end and drugged him. Again, I understand it but from Bell's point of view, I am fifty shades of fucked up

- Big turn off was him shooting me at the end, though. Felt like we had a decent thing going until he did that tbh

- All in all, I understand him and really wish things didn't end the way they did. He was a good mentor and Bell learned a lot. They made a good team

- The more I think about it, the more the psychological affects to Bell mess me up and I'm at a total loss with how I feel about him

Alex Mason:

- Honestly, I fucking love him

- He was reassuring but in a way that wasn't necessarily too passive or aggressive

- He really is the perfect friend for Woods. They're opposites but highlight the best in each other

- Wish I could've seen more of him rather than playing as him and I wish he had more dialogue in the safehouse as well

- I think Bell and Mason would've been great buds if given the chance

Frank Woods:

- Not gonna lie, his voice is a bit weird

- But I think it really adds to his character overall

- Loyal and funny, dedicated to doing good while also being unafraid to push the limits and really give the bad guys the good ol' razzle dazzle

- No complaints here really

- Not super sure if my Bell would be good friends with him but they would at least be buddies

Jason Hudson:

- Fuck him

- I don't like him, he literally did nothing but complain and judge. Provided absolutely nothing

- I understand the point of having the big boss around but he was truly useless and I wouldn't have noticed nor cared if he wasn't in the game

- You can bet your ass that my Bell feels the same way, too

Eleazar "Lazar" Azoulay:

- I am still not over his death

- I cried

- Paused the game, put the controller down and just shdidieoaldjufjdndkaoeugn yknow?

- A truly amazing guy. Funny, loyal, a heart of pure fucking gold

- I would've loved more time with him, his vibes were so fucking immaculate

- I personally love him but I feel as though my Bell would kind of see him like a big brother and it would hurt that much more when he died

Lawrence Sims:

- Going to be 1000% honest, he did not get nearly as much screen time as he deserved

- Like seriously, this guy was always joking around and having a good time with everyone in the safehouse but was on, like, one, maybe two missions??

- Theres so much potential there and I just

- He deserved more

- My Bell would probably interact the same way with Sims as he did with Woods

Helen Park:

- I don't even know where to start

- She was deadass the only reason I bought Cold War

- She deserved way more fucking screen time and I will be upset about it forever

- Her voice though, oh god

- There seriously wasn't a doubt in my mind that I would save her but it still really hurt to leave Lazar

- But the fact that she was there through all the brainwashing kind of throws me off

- Don't get me wrong, she is my wife through and through but I just wish she, like, did not do that lmao

- Obviously, my Bell ends up with Park so

As for the storyline, it surprised me. There was a lot of great but some really wack parts. I definitely wish we played as Bell 100% of the time. I feel like I would've been more immersed and invested into things. I do love Mason but I don't know, I would rather play as Bell than anyone else.

The safehouse was probably my favorite part. Those little moments in between. Conversations, whether they were honest or not. Seeing them for who they were, nothing beats that. Wish I could've explored it more but it does leave a lot up to interpretation so I'm not mad.

Brick in the Wall was by far the best mission. I was hoping the game would kind of follow that vibe more. The undercover, sneaking around Europe, and getting into those smaller to moderate gun fights while staying out of the public eye. Loved Greta but I didn't know I could save her so that fucking hurt. But the way they saved Bell? And Park specifically lifting me out of that chair? I loved it. I wish the game had more of that so so much.

Desperate Measures left a lot to be desired. I was hoping it would be more like Brick in the Wall and that Adler and Bell would be awkwardly navigating KGB Headquarters. And then just blasting out of there like that? And Lazar just pulling up in a regular old car? I don't know, I was hoping for more there.

Cuba hurt. We don't talk about it.

This whole brainwashing thing has me fucked up. The amount of time and dedication it would have taken. The efforts they went through. I just... I don't know. It was a good plot twist but I really don't enjoy it, both as the player and as a writer.

Everything after that felt rushed. It wasn't cohesive. It wasn't the cathartic ending that it was building up to. I really don't feel like Bell got justice for Lazar. It didn't feel like we stopped Perseus. I didn't feel the threat of nukes going off throughout Europe. I felt thrown off and I wish there was something more. I don't know.

Everyone deserved more screentime, save for maybe Woods and Adler because they had a great deal of missions. That was disappointing.

I don't know. I think I was just hoping for more and hyping things up and now I'm thrown for a loop. I definitely will not be following cannon when I write. But then again, I never do.

Thanks for joining me on my Cold War journey, though. Hope you enjoyed it

#call of duty black ops cold war #russell adler #alex mason #frank woods #jason hudson #eleazar azoulay #lazar #lawrence sims #helen park #greta keller #im not sure how to feel #definitely not happy with how this ended #the whole idea of the cold war and the immersive vibes of the 80s and everything was immaculate #a truly great idea that had so much fucking potential #and i feel like a lot of it was forced when they had so much opportunity #i just #i dont know #://

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bibbawrites · 3 years

Note

Smutty abcs for luke? Don’t hold back ;)

SMUTTY ABC’S - LUKE PATTERSON (18+)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Luke always makes sure to help clean you up, bring you a glass of water and then snuggle up together with words of praise about how amazing you were (which sometimes transitions into dirty talk which ends in another round or two)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Luke loves your ass, he’s always touching it and resting his hands on it when you’re cuddling, and he loves to slip his hand into your back pocket when you’re out with him

Your favourite body part of his is his arms cause just look at them, and the way that he always has them on display means that you can’t help but look at them and thirst over them

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

as bad as it could turn out to be, Luke loves to cum inside of you, he just loves the feeling of filling you up and seeing his cum drip out of you when he pulls out

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Luke secretly loves being the sub, he loves it when you take charge and dominate him, just as much as he loves dominating you

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Luke likes to brag about being pretty experienced, but had only slept with one person (alex) before you, so the things that he knows you learnt together, and he’s always researching new things to try

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

you’d expect it to be something wild but honestly Luke loves missionary, its more about the roughness and dirtiness than the position so he’s perfectly fine with you on your back with him on top of you

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he does enjoy a good flirty joke during sex but most of the time he’s pretty serious

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

idk why but I feel like Luke would be pretty well groomed, not shaved but neatly trimmed at least

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

during sex Luke isn’t really romantic, but when he’s coming down from his orgasm he always reminds you that he loves you and tells you how good you were

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he doesn’t really need to masturbate now that he’s dating you but occasionally he will if he knows that you’ll be coming over, hoping that you’ll arrive and catch him and finish him off

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

the main one would probably be dirty talk, the boy has an absolutely filthy mouth and he’s not afraid to use it, he also really loves choking you and he loves getting his hair pulled

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Luke is a little bit of an exhibitionist, so he loves doing it in the studio where he knows theres a chance that someone could walk in at any moment

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

anything and everything that you do, you could be just walking past and a dirty thought would enter his head and he would get a little turned on he also loves it when you talk back to him

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Luke is pretty adventurous, there isnt much he wouldnt do, but one thing he really doesnt like the idea of is watersports

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he loves giving and receiving all the same, but i think he would like eating you out just a tiny bit more than he would like getting a bj

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He loves it fast, rough and dirty, if he isn’t pounding into you with streams of dirty words flowing out of his mouth then it just doesn’t feel right

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Luke would be a pro at quickies, both you and him would be ready at a moments notice to get it on, and wouldn’t care where you were (you have had sex in quite a few public toilets)

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

experiment is Luke’s middle name, he loves to try new things, no matter what they are (theres only a few things he’s not into and you both know what those are, but anything else he’s down for)

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

I feel like he would have pretty good stamina, and his sex drive means that he can go for quite a few rounds, especially if you take little breaks in between

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

yes he has toys to use on you, he bought a couple of vibrators after hearing you mention to Julie one time how you wished he would get a little more adventurous with toys, not that he wasn’t adventurous in the bedroom you just wanted a little more

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Luke LOVES to tease you, whether it be sexual or even just plain flirty he loves teasing, and he loves to do it when you’re having sex cause he loves hearing you beg him to do more than just tease

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

I feel like Luke would be pretty vocal, especially with his dirty talking and the fact that he never shuts up during sex, I can imagine that he’d be pretty vocal with moaning as well

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He has always wanted to have a threesome with you and reggie but he’s worried that you or reggie or both would say no if he asks, so he keeps that fantasy to himself

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Despite being slightly on the shorter side Luke has a pretty average sized dick that he is not insecure about at all

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

very high, Luke is horny pretty much 24/7, which can be both a blessing and a curse

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

depending on what you did and how long you went for, when you get a little bit friskier and kinkier then Luke falls asleep pretty quickly but when you’re more vanilla then he likes to cuddle and talk for a bit before falling asleep.

#smutty abcs #luke patterson

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rickriordanfandam · 4 years

Text

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below)

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong.

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up. the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more

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shinahbee · 3 years

Text

January Favorites 2021!

GREETINGS

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February 06. 2021

Hello,

I actually wrote a lot for this month, perfect way to start off the new year! I have been catching up and watching some dramas and some of the new anime this season, which i’ll discuss a few down below. I’m just realizing that the manhwa recommendations list is growing very long and it reading those titles that i have discussed made me reminisce on some of them and most of which I would re read again. I tried to read some shoujo manga again and thought the stories were shit, so i don’t think i’ll ever go back. I’m thinking of starting some shoujo manhwa’s because I have a few titles that seemed like they might have an interesting plot line. I’ll list in in my favorites if I do end up reading those, but so far i’m still filtering the BL titles .lol.

I’m just going to put this out there now before you read the “Hell segment” I mentioned a few titles that were popular that i dropped and I listed the reasons why i dropped it, they are popular for a reason and if you like that and don’t take the plot line too seriously then that’s on you, but i don’t like the subject matter being glorified rather than “lesson learned” if you know what i’m saying so take my comments down there with a grain of salt...it’s just how i read it and interpreted the subject matter, it has nothing to do with the creator and their thoughts. This is going to apply to all of my reviews, they are just my opinions only so don't take what i say seriously if it you are offended that i happen to diss your favorite manga.

Anyways, i have no music recommendations this month all i have been listening to is podcasts, so listening to people talk about nothing.lol. That’s what my life has come to...

If you would like I can share a few that I have been listening to, let me know.

Alright, you all have a lot to read to i’ll just end here.

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MANHWA/MANGA/WEBTOONS

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Recap:

Whose baby is it? (ongoing)

Social temperature (ongoing)

Salad days (ongoing)

To be or not to be (ongoing)

Path to you (completed)

Here u are (completed)

BJ alex (completed)

No way, vampires don't exist (ongoing)

Unintentional love story (ongoing)

Karasugoka don’t be shy! (Completed)

Semantic Error (ongoing)

Tied up in Twins (Completed)

My Suha (ongoing)

Crash into me (Completed)

Dine with a vampire (ongoing)

So crash into you is now finished and you can now read the entire thing, so happy it ended really well and of course if you have seen my last favorites journal I made and entire post dedicated to this manhwa. The story is really heart breaking and definitely deals with more adult and mature content and it really is disturbing in some parts, so viewer discretion is advised.

That’s all i have to announce as an update, the rest is still ongoing. This month I came up with certain themes for my hell segment, last month I started with some manhwa that all had a common theme of Scum antagonists that you will run into when reading these manhwa, some of which ranges from mild inconvenience to this piece of shit should be set on fire. If you have not read that please check it out and watch me rant about stupid people.

This week featured another theme that you will run into reading shounen ai/ yaoi manhwa and manga, it’s a very universal theme of “threesomes”...I don’t get it, I don’t get why people think that’s okay to have three dicks in a room...i’m like there’s three dicks here, that’s way too many..lol. to each their own I guess, but i’ve selected three to talk about that also deals with mature themes and a bunch of people making poor decisions.

But before that, let’s talk about the normal shounen ai manhwa/manga that I have to recommend this month.

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Welcome to heaven

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1) Inner Beauty:

“Minjae’s been dumped. Fed up with their long distance relationship, his actress girlfriend Hye-Eun left him while he was “finding himself” in Australia. When Minjae rushes home and runs into Hye-Eun and her gorgeous new man, Woochan, at the airport, drama ensues. Amidst the chaos, the two love rivals bang heads. Upon waking, they discover they’ve changed bodies! Why have they switched? How will they cope? Will they ever be able to go back? Find out as Minjae and Woochan embark on a journey that takes “self-discovery” to a whole new level!”

Firstly this reminded me of the k-drama secret garden, if you have seen it you know that the main protagonists switched bodies at some point and with this manhwa, it happens in the first chapter. I liked how the relationship between the two boys started with minjae’s girlfriend leaving him for another man woochan, and after minjae and woochan switched bodies because he wanted to give the girlfriend a necklace as a gift , he switched bodies with woochan after bumping into him. They went to a shaman to seek out various ways to get back into their bodies while they find out things about each other that they were not aware of, in the end minjae and woochan were drawn to each other. The necklace is a tribal ornament that has a mysterious power to show a person’s past through their dreams. It seems that the reason why their bodies keep switching was because there was another necklace that was similar that was supposed to be it's partner; they go a try to search for the mysterious phenomenon surrounding the necklace that leads to their relationships with other people changing.

my favorite part of this story is that woochan and his father didn't get along very well because of a misunderstanding, while other parents didn't admit to their mistakes, woochan's father wanted to do so and repair his relationship with woochan, which made the story more compelling. Theres so many manga plot lines whee the parent is abusive and harsh and never did they think it was thier fault, but in this story woochan's father mans up to the things he did and how it affected woochan and i'm really happy about that.

Another thing I like about this story is the end where woochan who was an actor turned director made a film about his and minjae’s relationship because he wanted their story to be remembered and inspire other relationships that were similar to their own to overcome their hardships. This story has so much meaning and it’s something I would recommend to anyone who just likes a good story.

2) False Memories (lee gpiee):

” Wan’s got a face that scares everyone away before he can really become friends with anyone. So when Ha-woon befriends Wan on his first day at his new school, Wan is elated. Ha-woon must be an angel! It doesn’t take long, though, for Ha-woon to betray him in a terrible way, and Wan discovers Ha-woon might be more devil than angel. But then an accident happens that gives Wan a second chance at friendship with his angel. And it all starts with one big, fat lie.”

This one is really interesting, it is about a boy named wan and he was the new transfer student at a new school and how despite how he looks he wanted make friends this time around. Hawoon met wan when he was climbed off of a tree and fell on him, he immediately took a liking to him and befriended him, being very grateful to have finally met a friend he wanted to be a very likable person to hawoon, but then it was discovered that hawoon had many secrets and is not the kind person he is portrayed to be. There was an incident where one of his followers was spying on him and he wanted wan to essentially beat that person up in front of his other gang members. Obviously wan didn’t want that and this caused some strife between the two of them and wan began to be bullied by hawoon and his gang members. Later hawoon was trying to escape from his brother who went to his apartment to look for him and ran into wan who hides him over night, things tooka turn for the worse when hawoon thinks wan is being really nosy about his business and pushes him away and that is when the guy who hawoon wanted to beat up his him on the head and hawoon woke up with amnesia. Being the only person who had witnessed that, wan brought hawoon back to his place, when hawoon woke up with no previous memories of wan he lied to him claiming to be his best friend and the tow of them started to pursue this new friendship, of course things don’t last forever and the both of them discovered that hawoon in fact had many secrets that he preferred to keep under wraps especially about his family.

I know a lot of comments have said that it was stupid to lie to him about being friends but I understand that it was wan’s way to know the real hawoon. Hawoon’s personality was built by the lack of trust he has received from people and he was never able to open up to a person about anything. I really liked how the incident ended up saving their relationship in the end and they have a lot of cute moments together while going from being friends to being in love with each other. This is a very wholesome story and if you like that plot you will like this story, it really is not complicated.

3) Hand in Hand:

“While running a small pharmacy in the outskirts of the city, Sam meets a mysterious and out of place patient. This man named noah who was covered in bruises every time he had stopped by the pharmacy, Sam noticed that he seems to be in worse shape every time they meet and became curious as to why that might be, one day he saw noah getting into a shady van with a bunch of people and discovered that this town had a secret that kept everyone involved very secretive. Noah who was discovered to be a part of that society still goes and sees sam in order to be close to him, sam was then reeled into his world and became part of that society that was kept hidden.”

Sorry I had to write that summary on my own cause I could not find a good summary, so basically the pharmacy was inherited by Sam when his father passed away in this small town, there was no one to take over for him so Sam had to give up his dream of staying away from this town to moving back to take over the family business, There one night upon closing he meets a man covered in bruises while coming in to buy some alcohol and cigarettes, he treated him because it looked painful and was curious about him,

This curiosity escalated when he saw him get into a van with a bunch of ugly dudes, the pharmacy assistant said that there were gangs running around and it was best to avoid these people. Sam made the assumption that it was these men that were beating that man up and decided to pull him away from them. Noah then introduced himself to sam as they walk back to noahs apartment and he showed some interest in sam and asked what he wanted as payment for his treatment, Sam of course didn’t want anything which made noah surprised, but relayed to him that the offer still stands when he feel like telling him.

Not only being curious that noah shows up in front of him each time with more bruises but the fact that he may have discovered the town had a secret.

It was in fact an underground gambling scene that caused a lot of people to be very irritable, noah was involved in this and called it “work” as he had a debt to pay back to the person that took him in. Sam didn’t want to be involved but because of his interest in noah the two of them became romantically involved upon a few meetings and Sam started to develop feelings for him and likewise noah was in love with Sam. I’m not going to spoil the end because it was really intense, if you like mysterious plot points to your story this one will do the trick, it will keep you guessing as to what will happen next.

4) Stanning 101:

“Ji-Yul Park is an ordinary office worker who spends his spare time stanning a boy group, unlock and more specifically it’s leader, Jay.One day, he time travels back to his past where he encounters Juno, another idol and becomes his manager.What happenes when Juno develops feelings for Ji-Yul? Would Ji-Yul choose loyalty with Juno or his fanboy fantasy with Jay? And what is the purpose for Ji-Yul traveling back to the past-what is he supposed to repair or change?”

I’m not going to lie this title...don’t let it fool you, I thought this was going to be a satire on the whole K-pop fandom and just a story poking fun at k-pop fans...but boy was I fooled..LOL. This summary doesn’t even begin to describe how deep this story goes.

So as the summary says it’s about a fan named ji yul who is a stan of a group called “unlock” and his favorite member Jay was going to leave for military service and he was really bummed about not being able to see him for a while, so he went out drinking with his friends who share the same interest and cried his eyes out wishing that he could go back to the time when jay and his group first debuted.

And of course....that happened some how he was enabled into a time skip backwards to when the group first debuted. He first met up with a roommate that he was going to be sharing a room with, this was none other than juno a trainee a small company, Juno was a sensation later on in history and he was a rival of the unlock, and of course being a stand of jay he didn’t like the idea of being around juno. Upon meeting ji yul was already drunk and the next morning found juno and him had slept on the same bed, this made things between them awkward. But upon a series of events he became juno’s manager and inevitably began to understand the person juno is and how hard he worked, as well as his ties with jay. While trying to figure out what was the reason for the time skip he met another person who was sent back to the same time for a different reason his name was suho, and suho was here for another person named rose who was a in a different group. Rose is a sunbae of Juno’s and the two of them are acquainted, But there was something about Rose that was alluring and that made his “ sponsors” want to see him all the time, this lead to a lot of conflict within his group, saying that he’s the kind of person who would sleep around with anyone that has money.

Suho was a fan of rose and the reason he came back was because in his time he had found out that Rose had committed suicide, now....this is a topic that i feel very strongly about as you may know if you listen to k-pop news there are certain group members from famous groups that have committed suicide as of late, a lot of which was diagnosis of depression,

This story deals with not only suho having had gone through depression and suicide attempts but Rose who was going through that as well, Suho wanted to make sure rose stays alive, so when he was able to meet him he did all he can to be beside him and get him away from these sponsors that clearly only want one thing from him. This had made rose and suho close enough to develop romantic feelings towards each other, it gave rose the courage to confront the ceo from the company. In the end the company ceo was being a dick and tried to force rose to sleep with these people in order to get chances to be on screen and promote their group. One of their members knew from the start what rose had to go through and after rose was being hunted down by the ceo after disappearing, the member took footage from the ceo of all the nasty things he made rose do and gave it to Suho? I don’t remember this part well, but suho somehow go the usb footage and saw that rose had been sexually abused and assaulted by those men. Rose had went to see suho at the time and saw that he found the footage, at that moment he wanted to jump off the railings because he felt ashamed, but suho explained that it was rose’s music that saved him from doing the same thing he tried to do which was of course suicide.

Needless to say, at least in this story suho’s love for rose was able to keep him alive and as soon as suho w able to convey that he had disappeared and asked rose to find him in the future. I chose to write about Suho’s story because I just want to put it out there that suicide and depression are real struggles and to please seek help as soon as you can. Back to ji yul and juno, they in fact had developed feelings for each other and ji yul was sent back because he was in car accident with juno and in the both of them lost their memory of each other that was why ji yul only remembered Jay and being a fan of unlock while not remembering the times he shared with juno and how much he loved him. This made. He was able to tell juno after some time that he is in fact from the future and the both of them tried different ways to preserve the time that they had before ji yul would be sent back. Ji yul tried to defy fate but it turns out the accident happened to juno being in the car without having him there, meaning things will still take its course and you can cheat fate. So ji yul grabbed juno who was still unconscious and put him into the passenger’s seat and said his goodbyes to him, wishing for them to meet again even though knowing that it could be impossible for them to be together in the future he drove into the upcoming traffic. Ji yul woke up again back in the time he belonged the only thing he can remember was seeing juno’s picture in front of him and tears leaving his eyes.

Omg this is a k-drama all in one package, this is where i’ll stop because the manhwa is not finished, so if you liked my summary of it so far please read the actual thing, you will not be disappointed, I promise you.

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Welcome to hell

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I don’t know how to begin this segment after writing all of that for the heaven’s segment, those stories were just so good compared to the trash that i’m about to share here. But most of the trashiest stories have more complex plot points than normal stories. I mean you need to go through hell to come out the other side right?

*warning* this section talks about mature content! 18+ only, read at your own risk!

Let’s begin then.

1) Private lessons:

“Hajoon has been crushing on Eun-woo ever since they started college together, but he hasn’t had any opportunities to get close with him. At least they have a class together this semester: a lecture taught by the popular Professor Seo Joohyuk. Hours after the first class, Hajoon remembers he left his assignments in the classroom. Upon reaching the lecture hall, he becomes witness and accomplice to a series of private lessons Joo-hyuk is giving Eun-woo—lessons that unleash his own deepest, riskiest desires.”

I’m starting off strong ...oh where to begin? This story has so many messed up characters, I’d have to say all three of them are messed up. Firstly I don’t care if your professor looks like a dilf (urban dictionary if you don’t know what it means) you should never get involved with them. Lol. And I don’t know what school you people go to to have professors that look like this...all of mine were crusty old men who were mean and arrogant.

I makes me sick to think that there are some older men that would take advantage of people like the way Joohyuk did with Eunwoo and Hajoon. Hajoon just wanted to get Eunwoo’s attention, but because of joohyuk, he took “notice me senpai” to the next level. but I guess i understand from hajoon’s point of view that if he does nothing, he will never be change his relationship, so if he liked him then getting involve would be a way in. Eunwoo was so enthralled with joohyuk that he would just be a sex partner knowing that he would never have potential feelings for him in the end. I did feel sorry for him at first but then there was this part in the story where they were all preparing for this festival thing and he and hajoon were in a group and had to be waiters for the night of the festival, this was when eunwoo started to somewhat show interest in hajoon. Then that fricken dilf was like “you’re doing things on your own and i’m going to show you why you shouldn’t defy me...” or something like that, asserting dominance saying that eunwoo would always choose me over you to hajoon, and indeed on the night of the festival when he was supposed to work, shit went down between hajoon and this senior and fight broke out while hajoon was defending eunwoo , only later to find out that eunwoo was screwing the dilf in his office while all this was going on, I think i felt my veins snap...this idiot had the audacity to f around with that dilf while hajoon was working his ass off and even defended him. Smh....anyways in the end Eunwoo fell in love with hajoon and gave up on his feelings over joohyuk, knowing that joohyuk will always look at his other partner seojin. So in the end it worked out, but this whole story is a dumpster fire of trash.

So moral of this story is don’t get involved with dilfs, don't simp for them...lol. Just don’t do it. I don’t recommend this story for the content but if you are into trash and BDSM, then maybe this is the one for you.

2) Behind the scenes:

“Korea’s hunkiest top model Woo Taeyoung has decided to try his hand at acting once more. No more of those teen heartthrob roles, Taeyoung has his eyes set on a much more…mature role. And when he finds out his idol, the dreamy Koo Min-ki, is set to be one of the main actors of the film, he is even more determined to get the role as his co-star. The two seem to have a natural chemistry with each other…both on and off screen. Will this end up helping their performances? Or will it cause their worlds to come crashing down?”

This story is a also a dumpster fire of flaming garbage, it starts off with a model turned actor named taeyoung who works mainly as a model but is secretly a fan boy of another famous actor named minki and he went to his fan signing in disguise, only to be discovered by the fans and cause a racket and minki ended up injuring himself. This caused taeyoung to be able to meet minki in the most embarrassing way, but he wanted to make it up to him by helping him until his injury was recovered. One night minki was driven home by taeyoung and they ran into another popular actor named wonho...(monsta x..lol. i’m so kidding don't kill me...) and this dude saw minki coming out of taeyoung’s car and immediately became violent...

there it is red flag!

Turns out wonho was minks boyfriend, taeyoung only knew that his favorite actor minki was in a 10 year long relationship with his girlfriend, says the media, but he didn’t know that it was a man...and this violent piece of shit at that. Taeyoung had heard rumors of wonho being excessively violent to anyone who comes near minki and anyone who has worked with him always was threatened by wonho. So even though taeyoung reluctantly left minki with wonho he still was really worried, rightfully so.

Wonho is the worst kind of garbage out there; even being in a relationship he still forced minki into having sex with him. This is rape, even if you are in a relationship it means the same thing it’s non consensual and disgusting. Not only this but being violent to everyone that is near minki, is enough for anyone to end this relationship. But minki was that idiot who believed that the old wonho he once knew would come back one day and so this ongoing relationship abuse lasted for a long time. Taeyoung of course got an opportunity to make his acting debut, and auditioned for the of minki’s character’s lover, it was the first queer film in production so to the director it was a passion project that he wanted to see succeed. He passed the audition and showed his potential and chemistry with minki on screen very well, so the director was happy casting him in the role. But of course guess who finds out and showed up on the film set...wonho. He obviously made minki uncomfortable and also taeyoung, but in series of events taeyoung went to the bathroom and found wonho and minki making out inside and realized the person he admired was gay and was in a relationship with wonho for a long time. Later on he got to know minki more and found that he had romantic feelings towards him rather than just admiration. Because minki and wonho’s relationship was abusive minki was contemplating on ending it but didn’t have the courage to, it was taeyoung who showed genuine feelings for minki that was able to push minki to move forward. So while this was going on, wonho was in fact being sponsored by a certain person in order to get roles in his acting career, this person was taeyoung’s cousin...yeah i know messed up,. This dude is very toxic and made things go wrong between wonho and minki and that’s how their relationship went downhill for 10 years. Anyways to sum it all up a lot of stuff went down and wonho’s actions were no longer acceptable and as soon as minki found out this ongoing sexual relationship between wonho and taeyoung’s cousin, he broke it off with him finally and moved around different places for a while since wonho would not leave his apartment he couldn’t go back. Taeyoung and minki ended up dating each other now and he succeeded as a model turned actor with this role. Wonho after a series of events was able to let minki go after seeing him one last time and apologizing for everything he’s done to him. The movie was very successful and won many awards and the ending of the series just showed taeyoung and minki talking about their relationship on screen and off screen to the viewers...hence the title “behind the scenes”

Okay this trash made me angry and sad at the same time since it talked about a relationship that has gone bad and two people refusing to leave it since they have been together for a long time. You know when you should end things and if a person starts to change there is no way for them to be the same again. So all in all this story is really good for depicting all sorts of relationship issues and drama. I would say yes give this read because the story itself says a lot about the writer and how they think. This is one of those stories the pull you into the depths of hell and once you resurface your see things in a different perspective.

3) Turn off the camera:

“Yeon Jihoon is the leader of an idol group that’s hit a dead-end in their career. Now, he’s received a golden opportunity to save his group: a spot on the year’s most anticipated reality show, where he’ll spend two weeks living and filming with top stars Do Yoojin and Seon Yohan. The one threat to the show’s success? Yoojin and Yohan won’t stop having sex with each other. To stop a scandal from tanking the show and his career, Jihoon must keep his co-stars’ antics hidden from the cameras at all costs. Will Jihoon be able to keep these steamy shenanigans a secret for two weeks? And will he survive when both of his co-stars turn their attention on him?”

This is some straight up kinky garbage, like the description says, jihoon got the opportunity to promote his group by becoming a member in an upcoming reality show with two popular actors, the show is a reality show of the three of them living together doing daily activities while cameras are installed in their home. You can see where this is going right? When jihoon first arrived into the house to greet the other two actors; yoojin and yohan and he found the two of them in a room having doing sexual acts and even tried to cover for them when the camera crew arrived up stairs in the room.

After several attempts of the other two actors having sex at different points in time jihoon became very aware of the fact that they were doing this for the fun of not being able to get caught having sex on camera. So basically this was like a fun game to the two actors.

Yoojin and yohan were caught the third time by jihoon while having sex on the kitchen table and so the three of them had a discussion and jihoon made them sign an agreement not to touch him...of course that didn’t work and he was caught in unfortunate circumstances surrounding the both of them, to the point where both sex partners started to want to pursue jihoon for themselves.lol

This manhwa is just straight up kinky trash, it is meant to be a satire on three some relationships and not meant to be taken seriously, so just going by that, there’s not much point to the story, it’s not in depth it’s just interesting to watch jihoon reject these actors advances in order to save his virginity.lol. I feel like from the recent chapters jihoon maybe more interested in yoojin than yohan so i’m waiting to see if yohan even has a chance to be on jihoon’s radar.

This is still ongoing and it only has 20 chapters so far so i don’t have that much to say about it, this was just something really normal in terms of yaoi to read while I was reading some dark stories, the art is really nice too if that is of any interest to you.

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So there are a couple of series that are quite popular that I have left out because I have dropped then fairly early on. one series called “Hate or Love” which i started a while back then and didn’t like the whole plot of having an abusive sibling forcing another sibling into a sexual relationship... i’m like nope...

This manhwa should have just been called “ Domestic boyfriend” I would have avoided it all together, because I have read “Domestic girlfriend” it is essentially the theme, and a giant dumpster fire of flaming garbage.

The main reason i stopped it was because the other person that I was hoping the main guy would end up with didn’t end up as the “ winner” well from what the comments said anyways, cause i stopped fairly early on when i found out the guy i liked was not going to be the end game, that makes me sad cause from the early chapters that i have read, there was a lot of sexual tension between the two of them and I was hoping this author would not push abusive sibling relationship as the plot...but looks like she did ...and i don’t care for it and find it gross...but that’s my morals, even if they were not siblings by blood they grew up together as siblings...that’s still vastly inappropriate. I'm used to it since I grew up with Japanese anime and manga with incest themes, but it still bothers me.... Vampire knight...

Even if they were not even related, i still would not like that red haired dude regardless cause his character seems like a dick, and i don’t think he suffered enough consequences for his actions to make him a redeemable character in my opinion. And also...out of 7 billion people on this earth, you would rather be with your brother...smh.

Also if we are talking about using sibling relationships in a sexual way as a plot line, then how i interpret this manhwa is that it is focused on more of glorifying abuse and sexual relations between siblings rather than making the subject matter more serious, if you know what I mean. But to each their own if you just read it because it interests you then feel free to do so, i’m not interested and decided to just drop it early on.

The other one is called “ Yours to claim” another popular series but again I don’t like dark haired dude, I think he’s a dick and if it was me I’d choose the blonde guy, he seems like he would be a person that would treat me better. I just don’t understand the appeal of being treated like shit by people, if anyone treats you like that...please dump their ass! Because It’s not okay! Both of these have the “ other guy “ as the better option for a potential relationship but they always choose the other messed up abusive/ bad boy and i just don’t why...i just feel disappointed but literally not surprised since it’s an ongoing trope in any sort of romance based media.

But needless to say there is nothing for us as the audience to do but to read them, we don't make any calls on who the person ends up with and the plot lines that happen in the story, so that is that i guess.

I’m having a mental breakdown just thinking about these two series, i included then briefly cause they fall into this weeks’ theme of trash.

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MUSIC

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Nothing special to share in this department this month, mostly listening to podcasts .lol.

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K-DRAMAS/SHOWS

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The tale of nokdu:

I described this drama as the mulan reversal, if you know the story of mulan, she dresses up as a man and goes into the imperial army camp to fight in the war in place of her father, nokdu is an adopted child that was suddenly hunted down by a bunch of assassins one day and instead of fleeing with his father and older brother he decided to follow the assassin into the city since he was able to injure them in the leg. He followed the assassin into town and was almost able to catch them when he was suddenly arrested from a disturbance another young man in town has caused. Later he found out that the assassin was heading to a village that was out of sight and exclusively to women, in order for him to go in he would need to dress up as a woman, the opportunity arose when he helped a young woman escape from the village with her husband and she gave him her clothes in exchange for his to escape. He then infiltrates the village and now has to chase after the assassin and try to kill the mastermind behind the assault on his family. But what he discovers was more than what it seems. This is 16 episodes and is completed if you want to watch it; I recommend it since its really good.

True beauty:

Everyone and their mother is watching this web toon turned drama, I say this cause my sister who gave up watching any k-dramas watched this one and read it...this is something, she doesn’t like a lot of things so i decided to watch it after she told me it was good. I watched it and I didn’t like it mainly because the problems in here is very much a young adult type of problem, like having acne and having to deal with bullies at school, these are all problems you mainly deal with when younger so none of this drama is relatable so I didn’t enjoy it. If you like the high school romance drama setting you might like this, but I have watched so much more meaningful dramas, this doesn’t do it for me.

That’s all the dramas I have watched so far, I mainly have been listening to podcasts instead of watching anything, I find it hard to find an interesting drama to watch these days, I have been enjoying listening to people talk about nothing lol.

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ANIME

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Haikyuu:

Finished Haikyuu season 4 part 2, I left this for a while so that all the episodes were finished and every time I watch it i gives me the same feeling every time. This part focuses on a lot of characters that were not fully flushed out in the first few seasons, like tanaka and nishinoya and one of the bench players...i forgot his name. I really like their portrayal of hinata this season he really is the saving grace of karasuno, not because of his obscure skills in volleyball or incredible stamina but because he’s playing volleyball because he loves it and it is fun even if the stakes are high. I feel a lot of the players here this season were so stressed they forgot that the game is supposed to be fun, and he keeps reminding them that it is what it is and that they should live in the moment. I loved seeing that develop in his character because i feel like there was too much focused on kageyama for a while and I wanted to see more of hinata’s growth.

So I was pleased with season 4 and I can’t wait to see more, haikyuu is really one of those anime that people are widely talking about now and it really is well deserved.

Skate the infinity:

Another sports anime about skate boarding, the animation is really nice and art style is really beautiful. I know there are so many sports anime out there now but this one is really interesting, I like the relationship between the two main characters reki and langa, it reminds me of the friendship between riku and sora in Kingdom hearts, reki teaches langa how to skate board from scratch and langa being a previous snow boarder was able to race one of the best contenders in the underground skating rink and beat them in a match but of course he isn’t a genius so he wanted to learn everything from the ground up since he thought it was fun. Lol. I like seeing the progress so far in their skating journey, this anime is really wholesome.

Dr. Ramune mysterious disease specialist:

This is a very satire anime, It is really comedic and deals with a doctor treating weird diseases, like the first episode there was a girl with a disease that made her cry out condiments as tears. It's actually very interesting in terms of the types of diseases they treat in each episode and how he uses these magical items to do so, that is a really bad explanation for this show but please watch it .It’s interesting so far and I’ll write more as it finishes.

so as a finishing statement, I hope you all enjoyed the favorites for January, I have been able to catch up on a lot of things which is why I have so many things to talk about this month, I already have the next theme for the Hell segment planed out for next month, so I can't wait to share that, if you like the manhwa recommendations and my excessive ranting so far.

until then. please take care of yourself and your love ones ! lunar new years is coming up, have a great year and I hope 2021 will be a lot better please follow me on my social media listed below if you'd like

thanks!

sheena

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SOCIAL MEDIA

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Instagram: shinb_art

Tumblr: shinahbee

Deviantart: she-be.deviantart.com

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