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#I think I’m gonna say fuck it and start legit writing this fic because I have brainrot
hijinks-n-lowjinks · 4 months
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teaser of my heart is gold but my hands are cold
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cressthebest · 25 days
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Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 12
chapter 22:
1. 😟😟 all james wants is for sirius to be there for james the way james ALWAYS was for sirius
2. 😟 james wished hodge happy birthday even though hodge died yesterday. i- i am not okay
3. “Regulus never fails to look up. Evan would be proud of him for that, he thinks.” 😧 that was vile to put in there
4. james has resorted to BEGGING for medicine from sirius and can’t understand why sirius won’t send any. this hurts so bad
5. nope. i’m done. i can’t read any more. james started looking forward to death cause he would be out of this arena and out of pain. jfc i’m done
6. anyways. i’m back cause i couldn’t stop reading.
7. REGULUS AND JAMES ARE REUNITED!!! THANK GOD!!! 😊
8. 😧 wait nevermind. james just mistook regulus for sirius. “James has never, not once in his life under any circumstances, mistaken Regulus for Sirius”
9. james is delulu from medicine and reg just found out that the plan has always been to get reg home. this hits like a motherfucking truck
10. james is high as a fucking kite, can’t figure out why “sirius” is being mean to him, cause he’s never been mean to him. and is also wondering why “sirius” is oddly attractive for being mean
11. it takes james half a chapter, and reg cutting his shirt for james to realize it’s not sirius. cause sirius has different scars. i love james sm 😭😭
12. “What was Sirius thinking? Drugging James? In the middle of the fucking hunger games? That might be the most idiotic thing Regulus has ever known his brother to do, and this is Sirius he's talking about, so that's saying a lot. Sirius once flipped a cigarette in the air and tried to catch it with his mouth while it was lit, and kept doing it until he could actually consistently manage it, no matter how much it burned him. Though, in fairness, he can still do that trick to this day.”
LMAO WHAT??? that’s so random and i love it
13. 😧 legit sobbing. reg says that james lost the spark in his eyes. and he’s the one person he expected to never lose his spark
14. reg reveals that they both can go home. james’ spark is back. i’m sobbing harder now. they’re so in love
15. i eat, breathe, and dream those author end notes. bizzarestars writes their end notes the way my brain processes the fic. <33
chapter 23:
1. starting the chapter off with pain, i see. losing vanity changed james. like. horribly changed him.
2. “What Regulus hates more than James is his suffering.” jfc he’s so emotionally constipated
3. james is sad and all reg can think is hmmmm i want him to start flirting with me again, because it meant he was happy bitch wtf
4. awww they’re cuddling and just got a package! my babies are gonna make it out!
5. reg realizes he has to put on a show, so he offers to feed james. and wants to gouge his eyeballs out for offering that. 😭😭😭😭
6. i’m dying from embarrassment but this is also so fucking funny. reg is like. let’s talk about our feelings. for each other. and james is just like *head tilt* ???
7. “"You weren't my first crush, James," Regulus whispers. "You were my first love."”
james didn’t just make reg feel good, he made reg feel and i am NOT okay.
8. “This whole time, Regulus has been steady on the fact that he wouldn't kiss James to save his own life, but he's apparently willing to do it to save James'.”
JFC why is he so emotionally constipated???
9. THEY KISS????? james is gonna be heartbroken when he realizes it was all an act
10. oh thank god james realized. at least it broke his heart now and not in two weeks
11. *squints* now reg has never wanted anything more than this kiss. girl. please. realize.
12. god, i’ve never read a kiss more beautifully and emotionally desperate written.
13. 😏 reg called him baby again!
14. oh god, maybe i’m just as bad as everyone in the hallow. maybe i’m just as bad as them. cause i enjoy their romance. i enjoy it so much. maybe i’m just as bad as the hallow for that. i- i think this every time i read the hunger games.
15. “James wants to sink his teeth into Regulus and leave the deep imprints of his teeth from one jutting hip bone to the other.” sometimes i forget that jegulus is a little unhinged in ways like this. and every time i’m reminded, I LOVE IT
16. “"You treat me like I'm stupid for daring to see good in people, but if there's no good in anyone, then what's the fucking point?"”
this entire section. this. this is what james is all about
17. 😟 authors note just told me i’m no better than a hallow. for my excitement over jegulus. and- yeah. i guess so. i’m so sorry y’all
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Note
🌗💕📚💎📒🎤🎁 heh heh
AAAA SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO WAKE UP ENOUGH TO HOP ONTO MY PC TO MAKE THE REPLY PROCESS EASIER SKDJUFSDF
Honestly I love a good mix of both fluff and angst. Depending on my mood it can be just one or the other but writing both together is just so <3
2. I am nothing if not a self-ship monster. It's legit all I write. Generally I use like... ocs for it but I kinda use bits of myself for all my ocs anyway lmao. Someday I might try branching out and do reader x canon type stuff but for now it's just my ultra self-indulgent shit lmao
3. I think the fandoms I've wrote for the most so far is the MHA / BNHA fandom and Pokemon? I had an ultra-long Pokemon/Naruto crossover fic I wrote when I was like 14 that was like 50-ish chapters long and yet somehow still unfinished lmao. I still have that shit but I reuploaded it to Google Docs to make sure I never lost it, even if some of it makes me cringe now lmao
4. Forbidden love is a vibe I really dig ngl. Esp like.. older x younger type vibes where the younger person just like... absolutely lights up the older persons gloomy heart and makes them feel young again in a good way. I've also been really into soulmates type stuff lately. Also stuff with like A/B/O vibes but like I kinda cherry pick that stuff and rework it a bit for my own personal writing vibes.
5. I have a legit wasteland of barely started / half finished fics. I have only finished one and I have no idea how I managed to get the self-control to only make it 4 pages long ngl lmao. I really wanna go back and rewrite a few older fics but that's a lot of time and energy for someone like me (ADHD/Autism brain that hates doing something that feels unfulfilling in the moment lmao). Someday I hope to finish something longer though.
6. Honestly it's more an entire section lmao. The entire plot point was that my oc Riley was trying to ask probing questions in regard to my friends oc I wrote into the story, named Iseiah, who was in love with this character named Zisu and because of how Riley asked Zisu mistook it for Riley asking her out and any time Riley would attempt to interject Zisu would cut her off so the next day at lunch they're all sitting at the table and Zisu slips that Riley 'asked her out' and Iseiah loses his shit because he had just told Riley how he had feelins for Zisu. In his anger he didn't give Riley much of a chance to explain but accidentally let it slip that he was in love with Zisu. In that particular scene he says a lot of shit but my absolute fave line was “OH I SEE HOW IT IS, I TELL YOU I’M IN LOVE WITH HER AND YOU FUCKING STEAL HER, RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE! YOU RUG PULLING BITCH! I’VE BEEN WAITING YEARS TO ASK THIS GIRL OUT, BUT LO AND BEHOLD, LIL MISS AMNESIA FALLEN FROM THE SKY DECIDES SHES GONNA STEAL MY FUCKING GIRL!" and honestly I frequently quote "You rug-pulling bitch!" lmaoo. Best part was that Zisu is built like a bodyguard and legit took him down and pinned him to keep him from causing a scene lol. Just genuinely one of my absolute fave scenes because of the rollercoaster of shit in it.
7. I don't even think I have the file anymore but the line was "If nothing is real and nothing matters... then why not enjoy it? Allow yourself to live the way you want to for once. With no regrets. Not everyone has that chance. Take it and make this life, however fake it may be, a life worth living." - The fic was from a fucking Justice League / Batman fic of all things lmao
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cryptidofthekeys · 1 year
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Spooky Month Sona? FR this time?!?
so uh yeah here,, take him,, bc if i dont i realize im not gonna post him and it’ll get to a point where im self conscious about him fnjkdljkfdl things are always subject to change with my sona after i get stories n shit started so yeye but here’s CC
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| Name: Chase Crawford (I literally have to give any sonas a last name to differentiate them)
| Nicknames: CC, likes to be called Cryptid as well
| Gender: Trans FTM (He/Him)
| Age: N/A but an adult
| Height: 5’5”
| Species/Race: Human
| Occupation: Works wherever he can tbh
| Hair Color: Dark Brown (Spiky quiff)
| Eye Color: Gunmetal Blue
| Skin Color/Body Type: Extremely pale and also he’s fat
| Appearance: His main outfit is an oversized dark purple hoodie with a design of a single lavender dahlia on the front of it (the sleeves are lil bat-like wings when spread out) (the flower- okay ONE of the flower’s meanings is literally it means ‘Good taste’ no I’m not sorry for this one hah but also aside from the joke.
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Dahlias symbolize beauty, commitment, and kindness), he has black pants that match with three chains hanging down and they look distressed and a lil ripped up, some of the way bigger holes are patched up with purple patches (all he had on hand and he loved the aesthetic of it)
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And finally purple sneakers to match with his hoodie n such as that, he has some black gauges in his ears (they are magnetic ones lmao), he has dark circles under his eyes but he promises its fine, his eyes are just like that- Other than that he has a black binder he usually wears underneath and forgets to take off a LOT, he also has a circle beard.
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| Personality: CC is very sweet, kind, caring, he loves to help others out and sometimes pushes himself to the limit with it but w-we don’t need to get into that, he’s got anxieties n shit like that, basically got whatever the fuck is wrong with me buried deep in him I mean he IS a sona after all.
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He can be very oblivious until something is directly in his face essentially so he can get put in some particularly troubling situations, he really needs to pay more attention and read the room from time to time imma be honest, tries to see the good in everyone but he does have his limits, very protective of the ones he cares about, hates his parents which is a given bc they are horrible. He’s very chill most of the time, just overall sleepy and tired looking.
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I’m not lying when I say oblivious btw, like it legit- he has to s e e it with his own eyes because most of the time he’s dumb,, just like- he could see a fucking wanted poster of someone and be like …Oh, maybe they just look similar (v much not like my deltarune sona, this one is just a big ol dummy)
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…He DOES have dumb luck on his side though thankfully, so even with troubling situations, the universe just be saving his ass one step at a time. Which its funny because you’d think with all the horror movies n media he’s consumed it’d teach him a thing or to but it really doesn’t, he just out here living life, blissfully unaware of the danger he’s been in multiple times.
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He can also be a chaotic feral lil gremlin once you get past the social anxiety.
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| Side Facts: He’s REALLY into horror, he calls himself a ‘horror junkie’ even, has lots of horror merch in his home, movies, books, figures, etc- He’s just big into horror lmao, he loves to write a lot, you can find him on his computer a lot just writing some fics here and there (dw it’s not all horror …Although he has a LOT of horror fics he’s posted)
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When he’s not working he’s usually chilling at home, playing video games, writing, or listening to music, or hell just watching movies even. He does like to stay at home a lot as he’s very introverted but when he does go out it’s usually at night, he just prefers the night air, does he know its dangerous? Eh, who knows- He’ll usually have headphones on and playing music while he takes a fun lil stroll, blissfully unaware of his surroundings.
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Despite liking horror n shit like that, genuinely super sweet and friendly, is very much a pacifist unless you hurt his friends and then he can get pretty aggressive, a ray of sunshine if you will unless provoked.
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Cryptid lives in the middle of the town, his house is nothing too fancy really, just what he could afford, it’s painted purple and black though to match his aesthetic.
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Likewise, back to how I said he goes out at night completely unarmed and unprepared in general, headphones on so he couldn’t hear if someone was sneaking up on him, and you already know who the three I’m selfshipping him with are (ooh bold of me to mention selfshipping on my main, im getting more confident everyday) with but bc I wanna write their interaction later, none of them have met yet.
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Also usually listens to a lot of hard rock/heavy metal lmao, and sometimes just,, boom, goat simulator music.
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Plays the acoustic guitar in his spare time but seems self conscious when playing around others.
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Has three dogs, a brown Chihuahua named Tootsie Roll, a black and white Shih Tzu named Cash, and then finally he has a Chinese Crested he rescued off the street named ‘Winnie the Pooch’ calls him ‘Win/Winnie/Win-Win’ for short though, also sometimes calls Cash ‘Cashy’
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And calls the Chihuahua ‘my little tootsie roll’ he loves all of them, aside from being overprotective of his friends n such like that, honestly he WILL get violent to protect his lil babies especially, you try to hurt them or anything he WILL fuck you up.
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Also refers to the trio as ‘My little stinkers’ calls them stinky, crusty, etc a lot but it's very clear he loves and cherishes them, Tootsie is 4 years old, Winnie is 13 or that’s what the vet told him he looked to be about, and then finally Cash is 1 year old.
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I think one of the biggest differences in him is like,, despite being oblivious unlike my DR sona who knows like oof yikes this is dangerous,, i needa get the fuck outta here- this one is just a dumbass,, he looks at these three bastards and goes …oh shit they’re hot- im gay like BITCH THEY ARE MURDERERS, KIDNAPPERS, AND OR CANNIBALS- …as long as they don’t hurt his frens OR his dogs tho its aight
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Also,, CC’s Pansexual for the final tidbit.
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bokutokoutarou · 2 years
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hello!!! Do you take requests? 👀 your writing is amazing and I ✨just✨ finished watching all of AOT. Your dating headcannon was FIIIRRREEEE, and I just think that a headcannon bout the crew shmoking shmeed together would be great
omg thank u!! and yes, i’m starting to take fic/hc/drabble suggestions for aot! as someone who has smoked before, i shall deliver! i’m gonna write this for the s4 paradis island crew, but imma exclude historia bc i personally can’t see her trying it
smoke sesh w/ the season 4 aot crew
fandom ↬ attack on titan // modern day au
includes ↬ aged up eren, armin, mikasa, jean, sasha, and connie
tw ↬ smoking🍃, cursing
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connie is definitely the group’s plug. there’s no doubt about it. he’s lowkey highkey a weed snob bc he’s so adamant that the weed he gives the group is the best weed around. he's literally so foolish istg
he and sasha are the snack shoppers of the group, but they take so fucking long every single time bc sasha can never decide what she wants. EVER. she always fills the cart up to the BRIM with junk food, forcing connie to use up the small ounce of responsibility he has to tell her to put some stuff back bc they’re too broke for that shit
they literally have the group (literally just jean and eren) blowing their phones up with calls, voicemails, and texts telling them to “hurry the hell up😤😡!”
^^they literally send their messages exactly like that i hate them so much LMAO
connie always provides the group with joints, edibles, and a bong (once again because he’s “the best plug ever”). he literally refuses to host a smoke sesh without bringing all 3. he truly believes that he's some kind of "versatile king" because of it lmfao
jean uses his own bong for two reasons — partly because he’s used to it, but mostly because he likes to be an ass and announce to the group before every smoke sesh that he REFUSES to put his mouth on the same bong that eren does
he’s literally so fucking stupid i hate him ahsjshsjj
although eren enjoys taking hits from the group’s main bong, he prefers to smoke joints. after he inhales the smoke, he’ll immediately pass it over to mikasa and she’ll take a hit if she’s up to it
YES mikasa occasionally smokes, but she honestly never thought she would. when the group had their first smoke sesh, she tagged along “just to watch!!!”. and she did for the most part, until eren put his joint near her lips in an offering motion and asked her if she wanted to try it. she just couldn’t resist
she likes the way it helps her relax. she also revels in the fact that her lips are touching the same joint that eren’s has but she will NEVER admit it
also, if it isn’t obvious already, jean gets so fucking jealous that eren and mikasa share joints LMFAO. sometimes he’ll ask her if she wants to take a hit from his bong, but she’ll always politely refuse, to which he’ll play it cool and say “all good all good” when it is NOT in fact all good, and he is internally deteriorating ahsjhsjdhs
armin surprisingly has no issues or hesitations about smoking. during the group’s first smoke sesh, they invited him over thinking he’d just hang out and watch (like they thought mikasa would)
of course, everyone was SHOCKED when he said “thank u so much for bringing all this stuff, connie 😁😁 can’t wait to try it 🤲🏻 !!” lmfao everyone was literally like excuse me sir HUH???
he ended up taking a fat ass rip off the bong and was literally gagging and choking bc of all the smoke inhalation LMFAO. after that experience, he definitely prefers joints and edibles
the thing with armin is that although he’s fine with smoking, he gets hella paranoid while he’s high. like, they’ll all be smoking and he’ll look out the window and say “guys look at that man over there, i think he’s watching us👀!!” even though it’s literally pitch black outside and the man in question is legit just sitting on a bench playing on his phone LMAO
mikasa tries to calm him down but he’s so fucking insistent about it and will literally peep out the window like this🕵️🪟every five minutes to make sure no one is watching
jean, connie, and sasha literally have ZERO sympathy for him and will just break out into laughter every time they see him run to the window LMAO it’s honestly so tragic
sasha and connie usually end up getting the highest out of everyone in the group. although connie prefers taking hits from his bong, he’ll sometimes share a joint with sasha or have an edible as well. of course, sasha’s preferred method of getting high is feasting on connie’s edibles. connie literally has to stop her from eating them all and tell her to “leave some for the rest of us or you’re gonna make yourself sick!”, which HAS happened multiple times
nah it honestly happens ALL the time lmao
all in all, even though every time they get high together is lowkey a disaster, they always hit each other up every saturday night and do it all over again
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unoriginalmess · 3 years
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A Second Mask: Chapter 4
Did that just happen?
Hello guys! It's me. I'm finally writing again. Sorry about the delay. I'm going to explain more at the end of the chapter, but I'm just going to keep the beginning short. So here is chapter 4:
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To say Adrien was concerned would be a huge understatement. He was downright disturbed. Its been weeks and still Marinette hadn't changed back to the happy, peppy, nice girl that he knew. AND SHE WOULDN'T EVEN TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT!
He tried to talk to her for a whole week after her original trasformation, but after the repeated firm rejections, he stopped altogether. He figured that maybe with some space, she might be able to work through whatever she was going through, but at this point, he's losing hope.
When he is feeling this distressed about something, he usually turns to his lady, but she has been acting weird too. Ever since she suggested they start sparring, she's started to show that she is going through kinda a rough time as well. She is the same ladybug when everyone is watching, but when it's just the two of them, she looks sad and tired. She has also started saying some concerning things while they are sparring. She has started talking about how she has started taking being Ladybug and the Guardian more seriously, and how she has less distractions now, which would be a good thing if she didn't say them so sadly.
The good thing is, the sparring has given him a chance to get out his aggression because of the whole Marinette-situation and his anger at his father in a safe environment. He didn't like the idea of hitting Ladybug at first (especially in the face) but with her not holding back on her hits, he felt more comfortable doing the same. It has helped them fight better too. He hopes that whatever Ladybug is going through in her civillian life will work itself out soon, but until then he will be there for her. He just needs to figure out how to be there for Marinette.
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Felix was making good progress with Marinette. After they first asked marinette about (insert fashion question of your choice here, I legit know nothing and I didn't have time to research anything for this chapter), she had started answering their questions on a daily basis. After a couple of days of that, she had started to rant to them about different things in the fashion world that were bothering her, exciting her, or confusing her that particular day. In response to that, they had started to respond to her rants with their own opinions on the subjects and even start their own rants.
It had gotten to the point where Felix would now consider them to be friends, though they know that Marinette would never call them as such, it was fine with them. They know she has trust issues, and they can understand why, so they are fine with being friends in everything but a name.
Felix was looking forward to their daily banter as they waited in their seat for Marinette to arrive. When she did, she was followed by a very pissed-looking Alya. Felix turned to look at her and noticed that she had what looked to be tears forming in her eyes. What they didn't notice was the little black butterfly that had entered through the window in the back of the room, and was making a beeline towards her.
•••
Marinette walked to school in yet another one of her newest fashion creations: a pair of oversized grey ripped jeans and a navy blue sweatshirt. She was actually really liking her new look, and the comfort that it offered was just an added plus.
She was actually feeling excited to talk to Felix about Gabriel Agreste's newest fashion flop. They were the only person that she had met that actually cared about fashion as much as her. It made her happy to talk to them. It kind of scared her how excited she was. Shouldn't she be distancing herself from everyone? she thought to herself. No. Felix isn't my friend, they aren't close to me, they are just someone I talk fashion with. Like a coworker, yeah. Totally. Felix is just a coworker. ("Liar" says the inner voice in her head)
She was shocked out of her thoughts when she was pulled to the side by someone as she entered the courtyard. Her mind immediately thought of an akuma, when the person spoke.
"Marinette! Girl," Oh it's just Alya. Wait Alya? "How long are you gonna keep up this cry for attention? Are you really THAT jealous of Lila? I know that Adrien likes her, but that doesn't give you the right to act like this! And you are hanging out with Felix, who accused her of sexually harrassing Adrien on their first day here-?" She looked absolutely furious at her, but Marinette had heard enough. She cut Alya off in the middle of her presumably long rant.
"ALYA!" Said girl jumped at both the inturruption and the tone of voice used, "First of all, this isn't a cry for attention, if anything its a cry for leaving me the fuck alone. Second of all, I'm not jealous of Lila. I'm not in love with Adrien anymore, and haven't been for a while. You knew that I was dating Luka right? Why would I care who Adrien likes? Lastly, I am allowed to hang out with whoever I choose, whether you like them or not. It's none of your fucking business Alya, and if you think that I'm just some jealous, attention-seeker why do you even care?" With that last question she stormed off to the classroom, leaving a speechless Alya behind her.
When marinette sat down in her seat, she just kept thinking about how Alya was just talking to her. How could she think that about her? They used to be best friends, and Alya wasn't even concerned about her not talking to her anymore, she was just concerned about her being "jealous of Lila". It made her so furious that she could feel tears trickling down her face. She sees the black butterfly out of the corner of her eye and without hesitation grabs it out of the air.
(Next part is taken from this post by @bigfatbreak)
"Go ahead and akumatize me- See what happens, Hawkmoth!" She screamed the words with a slight madness that the energy of the akuma was giving her, "Every leash has two ends! I just have to pull until I find where you're holding it!"
At this point, the entire class was frozen in place watching her and listening to her crazed-sounding voice threaten an actual terrorist. Marinette felt Hawkmoth's confusion and terror through the bond. What in the- She's sensing me through the Akuma?! The akuma then started to fly away, and when it couldn't it zapped her hand like it was made of lightning and fluttered through the same window it came from. Marinette felt like she had failed yet again and collapsed down on her desk, muttering, "Uuuuggghh. It escaped anyway... What a waste. I didn't realize that Hawkmoth was such a coward. He usually likes grandstand..."
She was startled when her hand was picked up by Felix's, "You likely scared him off by managing to locate him like that... A risky move, I should mention. I would ask that you not attempt that a second time. No one knows what his akuma is truly capable of. You'll want to keep off of this hand for a while, too."
"Oh, are those the doctor's orders? Why, Felix, it almost sounds like you care about meeee." Marinette was all too amused by Felix's concern for her. She also liked to tease them... AS COWORKERS DO.
"I have an investment in your presence. Now don't be cheeky and let's get you to the nurse's office," They said while holding her wrist and gently pulling her in that direction.
Marinette scoffed, "'An investment in my presence'??"
Felix chuckled while still semi-dragging her by the wrist towards the front of the room, being careful not to hurt her injury even worse, "What did I just say about being cheeky?"
On their way out of the door they passed a VERY distressed-looking Adrien. He seemed to be sharing the sentiment with the entire class of: Did that just happen?
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And thats chapter 4. It is VERY LATE! I know. I've been swamped with work, and when I went to write it, I had zero ideas on how to write this chapter. I never ended up getting those ideas. I just went where my writing took me, so if it doesn't really match the characters that's why. I will try to be better at updating regularly, but it probably won't happen. Sorry to everyone with a normal sleep schedule, but this is the time that I write things. Also I didn't have my outline with me while writing this chapter, so it might not have everything I planned to write in it.
I would like to thank you all for all of the support I've been getting on this fic. Despite all of the chapter delays, you guys have stuck with me through all of it, so thank each and every one of you. I love seeing so many people loving this au as much as I do. Without you guys this story wouldn't exist, and I would've stopped writing it after the first chapter.
As always, constructive criticism is always accepted. I love being able to improve my writing whenever possible.
Thank you for reading. Have a nice day/night/whenever you are reading this. See ya next time guys, gals, and non-binary pals.
Taglist
@queer-illusion @apasponsor @heckinggremlin @1-ahiro-1 @hewantedbeefintheparkinglot @sassakitty @lennauts @rianoel @dorkus-minimus @khneltea @welp-that-was-unexpected @mlnchlymrshmllw @lovelyautumnsunflower @chariphrasis @lovesbooks @komatsuna-yuki @polyvirnl @innocentlyguiltyfrenchfry @qhobias @ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole @hammalammadamdam @cloudydaysomewhere @alcoholic-barney @basenikon @xxbehindthemaskxx @corporeal-terrestrial @shadowymemoirs @moonlight-densetsuu
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goldentsum · 3 years
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━ thirst posts - idol! reader 
CHARACTERS: bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto, kirishima eijirou, shinsou hitoshi, kaminari denki
GENRE: suggestive themes, crack
AUTHOR’S NOTE: finally, another bnha post-- my submissive and overstim fic on my bnha masterlist was lonely so i whipped up another bb HAHAHAHA UNEDITEDDDD
━ bakugou ♡
an angry boy that hides his feelings inside and in social media--.. he has multiple accounts that caters to different moods that he has, there’s the daddydom acct then theres the sweetbabyboi acct-- HE WOULD RATHER DIE THAN SOMEONE FINDING OUT HE HAS THE LATTER ACCOUNT
kacchan loves you because of the fact that you two were different but also similar, with him being angry and intimidating on the surface but a mess of feelings inside and with you being sweet and soft on the surface but a vixen inside 
DUALITY-! TODOROKI DOESN’T EVEN COMPARE TO YOU WHEN IT COMES TO DUALITY-! bakugou would fight anyone for you if someone calls bullshit on you. he would 100% NO HESITATION would deck someone-- 
he def has thousands of pictures of you in his phone and laptop, the ratio of pics of him and other things to you is outstanding,, 1:8 def
HE ALSO SCREAMED ONE TIME WHEN YOU POSTED A VIDEO WITH YOU SHOWING YOUR DUALITY--! everyone in the dorm thought he was angry, in actuality he was hyperventilating because you’re so hot-- also this happens so frequently, class A doesn’t even address it
bakugou: [SCREAMING IN HIS ROOM]
class a: lol, yall hear something--
[(y/n)ssweetboi]: hOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO SOFT THEN TURN SO SINFULLY PRETTY?? I’M SO ANGRY AND SO ATTACKED RN-!! mOMMY NEEDS TO CALM THE TF DOWN AND SHOULD JUST WRAP THE HOLY THIGHS AROUND MY FACE-! 
━ todoroki ♡
he’s basically the epitome of head empty just (y/n) 24/7 pls--
people would look at him and think, “huh, i wonder what goes inside that pretty head of his?” then todoroki’s brain just goes: “rAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) “
if someone has a mind-reading quirk, press f for them because of how sinful his thoughts are-- 
HE DOESN’T EVEN CARE IF ANYONE KNOWS HE’S THINKING OF LEWD THINGS! HE’S SO BRAVE PLS-! SO BRAVELY STUPID AND THIRSTY 
in his room, he has a wall and altar that is dedicated for you. all of your merch, the past concert tickets and bands, polaroid pics he got in your albums, and polaroid pics of when he bought the royalty ticket are all on that wall-- yall wondering how he has all that money to afford that? three words. endeavor’s credit card. 
this boy goes all out when you have a concert-! HE STAYS UP ALL NIGHT TO WAIT IN YOUR WEBSITE WAITING FOR THE SECOND THE PRE-SELLING OF TICKETS. he refreshes the site every 1 second pls--
shouto: [refreshing the site for the nth time at 3 AM] [clearly sleepy]
site: PRE-SELLING
shouto: [SHOOKEDT] [awake af] i AM SPEED-! CLICK YOU FU-
he’s also so cocky and boast-y on his account pls-! he’s so different in his main and irl 
[officially_(y/n)sbabydaddy]: i GOT THE ROYALTY TICKET-! AGAIN! you peasants can’t relate, huh. press f for all of you. i’m going to see my baby mama again <3 a little fact for yall, (y/n) smells really good <3 especially when she’s sweating 🥴 bet she tastes amazing as she smells <3
━ kirishima ♡
baby kiri is still a little shy about mentioning that he likes you and kpop but that doesn’t mean if someone ask him about kpop, he’ll act like he hates it or he doesn’t know. 
A CLOSET HARD STAN THOUGH
hard stan kiri goes HARD FR like his quirk and his dicc AND HE CAN’T BE STOPPED IF HE STARTS
he has you being pretty as usual as his lockscreen and got all giddy and happy when his grandmother ask if you were his girlfriend,, bet your ass that kiri said that you are-! 
inside his phone though, is a completely different matter-.. this boy has all sort of thirst pics of you! and he gets a little shy when he stares at your pictures for a little too long and makes eye contact with you in the pic LIKE HE WASN’T JUST THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING LEWD-! 
he and kaminari binge watches you and your group’s web series and THEY ALWAYS WATCH YOUR COMEBACK TOGETHER AND SCREAM TOGETHER
kaminari thinks kiri is a soft stan and tries to get him to join the dark side aka the hard stan side of twitter-- what kaminari doesn’t know is that kiri is on there already and also creates contents here and there 👀
kaminari: bruhh-! look at this edit of (y/n) as a demon-! 
kirishima: [looking at the video he edited all night] wow--
[rockhardfor(y/n)]: if you see something in my pants- PLEASE ITS NOT A WEAPON AND JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! i don’t wanna go through that again as i try to explain that a video of a queen throwing it back is the cause of that-- </3
━ shinsou ♡
HIM AND TODOROKI ARE THE SAME WITH HOW THEIR THOUGHTS GET 0-100 REAL QUICK-! LEWD THOUGHTS ARE LIVING RENT FREE IN THEIR BRAIN PLS-- 
also that tired look on shinsou’s face is not showing what really goes on his head bUT unlike todoroki, he gets conscious of his thoughts when he gets to the real nasty parts when he’s daydreaming as he remembers there’s people with quirks around him
shinsou: [thinks about you getting your guts rearranged by him] hehe~ <3
also shinsou internally: [realizes that someone might know what he’s thinking about] 002223444212487537924 lah la la la laaa! i’m thinking of rabbits-... yeah rabbits lol fluffy rabbits that hops across the garden- nothing dirty here. just pure innocent thoughts
shinsou also creates and reads fanfiction-- as soon as that bell rings, he would zoom zoom out of that classroom and into his room to read smuts
then he gets inspired and he stays up all night to write THE DIRTIEST SMUT ANYONE HAS EVER READ-!! the piece gets A LOT of hearts and comments and he’s PROUD PROUD
now he also has commissions for fanfiction and shinsou is getting money because of how perverted his thoughts are-! he’s also so talented in writing! HE LEGIT GOES INTO DETAILS SO PEOPLE ARE LIKE: “WOAH-!! HOLY WATERRR”
it’s a win-win for shinsou, he can turn his fantasies into stories and GETS money for it? bruh, fap material AND GET CASH <3
[(y/n)as_akittycat]: so is anyone not gonna comment on what (y/n) was doing in the background? KITTY WAS ON H E R KNEESS-!! bruh, kitty is flexible- ya’ll know what this means, right? mORE POSITIONS-! <3
━ kaminari ♡
this boy has no filter THEN HAS THE AUDACITY TO GET EMBARRASS BY IT-! LIKE AREN’T YOU THE ONE WHO SAID, “i want to fuck (y/n) so hard that her ancestors could feel it-” 
so are you not gonna do it? bruh, talk about empty promises- 
HE MAKES SHINSOU SHOOKEDT WITH THINGS HE SAYS AND THAT TIRED BOY MAKES SMUTS-! shinsou def uses kaminari’s lines in his fanfics pls whatta power duo
kaminari: i wanna shove my dick down in (y/n)’s throat and cum so deep, you could see it trailing down her throat--
shinsou: [SHOOKEDT] what the fuck dude?
also shinsou internally: wRITE THAT DOWN! WRITE THAT DOWN-! 
ONE TIME, he got too excited when you posted a video of your choreography wearing those tiny shorts and he short-circuited-- he really went: “wIEEE~” 
he’s cautious now not too excited, especially when he’s outside and you post out of no where
it’s also a miracle that his twitter account is still running with how erotic and lewd he gets in his tweets-- HE ALSO RETWEETS EDITS OF YOUR MOANS IN HIS FEED-! IN HIS MAIN ACCOUNT! HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A FAN ACCOUNT
he’s either REALLY FUCKING brave or just plain stupid. maybe both idk
[(y/n)k.denki]: have you ever just look at someone and go, “wow, i would really wanna fuck you hard right now” because i do. everytime i see my queen-- LET ME HIT (Y/N)-! I’LL BE GOOD I SWEARRRRRR
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andypantsx3 · 3 years
Note
andy, you are a very talented, splendid writer, and i will never stop binge reading any of your series, because they all feel brand new with every read— if anything, they also age like the finest wine ever
i’m not sure how exactly you have antis in your inbox because how— can someone hate you? i still don’t get it, if they hate something you write they should just block it like?? thanks for defending a fictional character’s rights i guess 😨
everything aside, i hope you’re doing okay, and stay well hydrated, at all times!
by the way, how did shouto react in vested interest, when he saw y/n being bothered by hiroji in chapter 4? don’t answer this part if you don’t want to, but i’d love to hear it
Hello my angel!! Thank you so much, it means everything to me that you've reread some of my fics!! They’re so short, I never know how they’re gonna hold up with another read through. 😭💕
I personally did not get antis, but thank you again for worrying about me!! It was another friend who I was all up in arms about—she's one of the kindest, most thoughtful people on the platform so I legit could not believe someone was starting shit in her inbox.
And do you mean from Shouto's POV? If so, hell yeah here you go!! Sorry it accidentally turned into 1000+ words lol.
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POV: ur a possessive lil shit about to engage in the ultimate shit stirring maneuver
Shouto had never liked Hiroji Kitamura, for as long as he had known him.
In some respects, he knew his distaste stemmed partially from jealousy, that Kitamura had known you longer, had laid his claim to you well before you’d ever set foot in Shouto’s agency. Shouto had tried to extend him the benefit of the doubt, as it wasn’t in his nature to dislike people unless they had done harm—in which case he knew himself capable of holding a grudge like no other. 
But his distaste for Kitamura had only intensified over time, growing roots and budding into a deep dislike the more Shouto got to know him.
Kitamura wasn’t stupid, but he was hardly the strategic genius he thought himself to be. You’d described him as self-possessed, but Shouto rather thought he was smug, and not nearly as diligent as he ought to be. He’d never seen the man fetch you a drink or lend you a jacket or extend even the most common of courtesies a gentleman might show his significant other, or even an acquaintance for that matter.
Shouto knew none of this bothered you, as you were as independent and self-sufficient as anyone he’d ever seen, but that didn’t change the fact that Kitamura was not good enough.
He wasn’t nearly as good to you as Shouto would be, if you were his.
Shouto had been pleased to see the back of Kitamura, and even happier to torch the jacket he’d left in your apartment, a proxy for what Shouto would like to do to the man himself. And he’d been even more quietly pleased to see you recovering yourself, showing interest in people again, even if it began with Benjiro. He’d waited three long months to see you happy again, and it wouldn’t do to see you backslide.
So when he’d caught the scathing look Kitamura tossed your way, something in him had snapped.
He’d been out of his jacket and across the red carpet before he had time to think, maneuvering Monoma out of the way as neatly as he could manage while his mind was white hot with vexation. And then, when Kitamura had circled back for you, looking absolutely thunderous, Shouto didn’t give a single thought to abandoning the crew of Hero Weekly mid-question.
As he approached you, Kitamura was spitting out an angry commentary that made the flames of Shouto’s quirk shoot to his fingertips. 
“Yeah you always thought you were such hot shit, didn't you?” Kitamura was saying. “Always fucking blabbing about how great things were going, how fucking fast Shouto's star was rising. But you had nothing to do with that, and you were just lucky to be along for the ride. And you know that, don't you? I heard you haven’t even been seeing anyone since I left you. Don’t tell me you’re still crying over me?”
Shouto watched you open your mouth, a furious slope to your brow.  If he was thinking straight, he might have let you tell Kitamura off the way you were obviously about to, the way you probably deserved to.
But he wasn’t thinking straight. 
All of his instincts screamed that he assert himself in front of Kitamura, and he was moving before he could stop himself.
“There you are, love,” he heard himself say. He pulled you into his side and pressed a hand to your hip to stop himself from igniting his quirk, clutching you to him like a fire blanket. They probably revoked licenses for things like setting your intended’s ex-boyfriend on fire, especially when there were camera crews around to identify the culprit.
And he couldn’t very well court you from a prison cell in Tartarus.
You shifted against him softly, and Shouto felt some of his anger bleed out of him. He watched Kitamura’s eyes dart down to his hand on your hip, and smug self-satisfaction pooled his gut instead. He let his thumb stroke purposefully down your hip bone, intoning Kitamura’s name in greeting.
“T-Todoroki,” Kitamura replied, obviously caught off guard.
Shouto couldn’t help but twist the knife in deeper. 
“I believe I told you to wear it if you were cold, love,” Shouto said, carefully rearranging his features into a mask of blank stillness.
You looked up at him, a sweet little curl of confusion on your mouth. Shouto wanted to kiss it off your lips, but he settled for tugging his suit jacket out of your hands instead, settling it around your shoulders. He made a show of dragging his fingers carefully down your neckline as he did, noting Kitamura’s anger with some satisfaction, and then the little shiver that went down your spine with even greater satisfaction.
It was another confirmation of what he’d started to suspect—that you might return the same affections that he bore for you—and it suddenly was taking all of his willpower not to drag you off to the nearest broom closet to show you exactly what those affections entailed.
That could come later. Right now, there was a score to settle.
You huffed a laugh, pulling Shouto’s jacket more securely around your shoulders as you did. The sight of it against your skin sent a surge of the same possessiveness that had been haunting him for months racing through his veins. 
Shouto watched you, pleased, as you faced Kitamura again, looking like you’d much rather be talking to him than Kitamura.
“It was great to see you again, Hiroji, but we don’t want to be late,” you said. “I’m sure we’ll catch you around.”
It did not escape Shouto’s notice how eagerly you settled back into his side.
Kitamura didn’t seem to know what to do with his face as he watched you press yourself back under Shouto's arm. His expression flickered from anger to shock and back again. His hands balled into fists at his side, and he let out a grunt that might have been an acknowledgement.
Shouto murmured a farewell, doing nothing to disguise his smug tone, and slid his hand back pointedly back to your hip. 
And then he was guiding you away, into the dark of the theater beyond, victory singing in his blood.
You had definitely moved on from Kitamura, it was plain to him now. And now that things had been settled in that most final of manners, he felt no reservations about putting things into action.
Perhaps it was a blessing that you’d run into Kitamura after all, much as he detested the man.
As now Shouto knew. It was finally time to make his move.
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honey-im-hotdog · 3 years
Text
Big Ol’ Batsy
Batman x reader (? Kinda I guess)
Author’s Note: So this was supposed to be part of a series—because I just have to aim too high—and surprise surprise, I got lazy and lost interest and bam here we are. I had this part written for a long time so I decided that I’m probably not gonna write the rest of it, so why not just post this. Also, I probably should mention that this is my first ever batman fic. I hope y’all like this weird piece of garbage I have to offer :)
As always, reader is supposed to be gn+vague, so if you catch any mistakes related to that please let me know.
Words: 0.9k
Warnings: My first (and thus bad) attempt at humor, swearing, excessive amount of italics used, and it’s just weird all around mate.
Summary: Batman breaks into your apartment and you’re not awake enough for this shit.
Series Masterlist — Masterpost
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You’re not too sure if you should be glad you got up at three in the morning to grab some water, or not. The water felt amazing on your dry tongue, but will picking up shards of glass be something you’d want to do in the morning—the official morning?
Okay maybe the broken glass shouldn’t be what you're most concerned about right now. No, that concern should probably be directed towards the huge looming shadow that had just slid through your fire escape. But honestly, it's 3 am, maybe you're just dreaming? Yeah, that seems legit.
One slow and gentle step forward and—okay okay. Yeah, definitely not a dream. Ow.
Barely saving yourself from slicing your foot open, you snap your head towards Batman. Fucking Batman is standing in your living room. What the shit do you do? He’s standing against the wall, barely peeking outside, when something thumps against the fire escape somewhere above.
“Don't. Move.”
Not like you weren’t frozen already.
The commotion outside continues, you can’t quite make out what’s being said but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s going on. Afterall, you’ve lived in Gotham long enough.
As the footfalls grow closer, Batman slinks away from the wall and crouches down behind the small dining table, right next to you.
Not like you weren’t breathing already.
Slowly, you crouch down, too. That’s what Batman is doing, maybe you should too? Being at his level leaves you inches apart. You hadn’t really minded the size of your apartment before, now you’re debating on whether you should start to or not.
The people outside stop right outside your window. “I swear he disappeared from here!” you hear the hushed voices more clearly now. “Maybe we should check inside these apartments?”
At that you tense up, along with Batman. No no no! You know if they come inside it’ll be a massacre. While your apartment is small, you’re too far away from your room to hide there without the goons outside noticing.
“Are you crazy? Someone could be awake, we won’t be able to just go in unnoticed!” A second voice argues back, sounding deeper than the first. “Come on, let's head back. We’ll nail the fucker next time.”
You and the Caped Crusader stay right where you are, even after the two unknown figures had retreated several minutes ago. You’re just following whatever Batman is doing, since he probably knows what's best. What do you do in a situation like this anyways?
When he turns to you, a small yelp forces itself out around the lump that has formed in your throat, and you’re only a little embarrassed of it. You can’t see much in the dark—made darker by his huge form—but you can feel his eyes trail over you. It takes everything in you to not squirm under his gaze.
There’s so much you want to say to him, like who were those guys, how did he get in your apartment, why is he in your apartment, is he okay, is he single? Now is not the time to think about his dating life! you scold yourself.
“Would you like some water?” Is what comes out of your mouth instead.
You see the whites of his mask where his eyes should be narrow. “I-I mean you’re probably thirsty, right? Like you’ve probably been running around a lot an-and stuff? I’m not going to poison you or anything! You don’t have to wor—”
“I’m fine.” And as an afterthought he adds a hesitant, “thank you.”
You smile at that, how can you not? The Batman just thanked you, you always thought he’d be a hardass or something.
“Uh, can we get up now? I didn't really get down into a comfortable position…” Your hand is bent at an awkward angle, your left knee is too close to the glass, and the water has soaked into your pajama bottoms.
Without saying anything he gets up and heads for the window, surveying the area to make sure the two men had left. You stay in the kitchen even after standing up, feeling out of place in your own home.
No matter how intimidating he’s supposed to be, he looks to be too big for your small home, you’re scared he’ll knock something over with that stupid cape. And somehow that makes him seem less terrifying. He’s too bulky.
“Doesn’t the cape interfere with your nighttime hobbies?”
He half turns to you, almost as if he had forgotten you were even there. “What?”
“Your cape. Doesn’t it make it easier for the bad guys to grab you in a fight? I’d imagine it gets caught in things a lot, right? It seems kinda stupid and impractical to me.”
Now he’s fully turned to you. Okay, he seems scary again; maybe you shouldn’t go around insulting the guy who looks like he can snap your neck forty-six different ways. You open your mouth to backtrack, but you already called it stupid, doesn’t get more insulting than that.
Instead of replying to your inquiries about his cape, he heads for the window. Before he fully steps out onto the fire escape, he looks you dead in the eyes and tells you to “lock your window.”
With that he vanishes, as if he had never even been there in the first place. And you stand there for a while longer, trying to process the whole ordeal that couldn’t have lasted longer than fifteen minutes.
Not like you weren’t questioning your sanity already.
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Are requests still open?? This idea has been rolling around in my head and I honestly think it’s influenced lightly by Little Blue Ribbons because that’s my favorite comfort fic (read multiple times 😅) anyways.. here it is:
Reader, Bucky and Steve are all super close friends from childhood. Before they were shipped out to war, Bucky asked reader to be his gf and she says yes (but feels guilty because steve). So they go and “die” their respective canon deaths and she somehow makes it to present times, maybe mutant reader. She’s there when Steve comes out of the ice and they resume close friendship, but end up together and actually get married. Then they find Bucky during that fight and they’re just 🤯🤯 so of course guilt ensues but they keep looking for him. When Bucky is back to being Bucky he realizes they’re married and hes like sad but not because he loves them both and they deserve to be happy. In my head this definitely ends with Stuckyxreader but would be happy to read whatever fits best.
After reading this I realize maybe this is longer than a drabble idea 😅 it’s okay if you don’t write it, just needed to get it out of my head 😌
I am so incredibly flattered that LBR is your favorite comfort fic and you re-read it. I'm so soft!
This does sound a little too close to the storyline for LBR though and would definitely be more of a multi-part rather than a drabble so I'm afraid I can't write this for you.
HOWEVER!
This sounds to me like an alternate timeline from my LBR series where Steve isn't an absolute ass. So in the spirit of the MCU's fondness for multiverse shenanigans, I offer you headcannons for......
AN AU TO MY LBR AU!
What the hell would you even call that?
Anyway... I hope you like it!
Do not copy, translate, or repost.
Steve would still be infuriatingly oblivious to your affections. He's a bit busy trying to make something of himself. Bucky though was always a smooth motherfucker so he would definitely turn up the charm with you right away.
You thought at first that you were only attracted to Steve. He was the first one to come to your rescue when you were kids being bullied in the playground so the attachment was automatically there.
Sure you found Bucky just as attractive, but you always thought that he was just teasing you whenever he flirted. You didn't think that a girl like you would catch his eye for real.
So when Bucky asked you out on a legit date and for you to his girl, you practically broke out in hives at how flattered you were at the unexpected invite. You leaned in to the attraction you felt for him that you thought was far fetched.
You said yes and you and Bucky were a thing for a long time and in the beginning you felt guilty because you didn't want Steve to feel like a third wheel.
When Steve started talking about Peggy, that guilt went away and you would pester him to go on double dates.
You fell deeply in love with Bucky. How could you not? He made it so easy for you to love him. Steve was genuinely happy for you both. There was nothing like seeing his two bestfriends be so happy.
When they both died, it completely destroyed you. You lost two of the greatest men you have ever met at the same time. You lost your loves. You lost your bestfriends. You were all alone now.
When decades later you meet Steve again after he was defrosted, it's awkward and confusing but you clung together due to loss. No one in the world could relate to the loss you both felt, to the feeling to displacement, to the feeling that you were both always incomplete. It was only you two who could relate to each other.
It was only when you met Steve again that your pain started to heal. You healed together and built a life where you could find happiness again.
Steve wouldn't go for Peggy or Sharon in this timeline. From the moment he got out of the ice, he attached himself to you like a baby duck. Instant devotion. Unshakeable with the realization that underneath him chasing his purpose, he had always loved you.
You get married because Steve is insistent. If he was going to be living in any century then it would be by your side. To him, there was a profound reason for you both to somehow meet again. He wasn't gonna fuck that up.
When you find Bucky in all his Winter Soldier splendor, you charged right at him while Steve stood in shock. Your instinctive response was to get him and figure out the rest later.
It was a confusing time for you both. You were happy that somehow Bucky was alive, horrified at what Hydra had turned him into, and anxious at how he would react when he finds out that his girlfriend was now married to his bestfriend.
When Bucky surfaces from the mind control and does find out though, he forces a smile. He tried to act happy for you both but in reality he felt like he had been robbed.
It wasn't that you were married to Steve. It was that he was taken away from you. That should have been him.
In any case he wasn't the same man that he was before. He was broken and deeply disturbed, but his love for you didn't fade one bit even with the countless times he was put in that chair. There was nothing he could offer you. At least not yet.
The relationship between the three of you takes a turn after Bucky spends time to heal in Wakada. He was much better now, his mind much clearer. He was deserving to love you now.
You and Steve welcome him with open arms. You had both been patiently waiting for Bucky to be ready and you knew he would be eventually.
The three of you realize that though you had been happy in your respective relationships, there was always just a small part of you that needed the other to be included.
It was always meant to be the three of you.
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saintobio · 3 years
Note
Saint, first of all thank you sm for giving us this amazing chapter even after that whole entitled and awful anon episode. It’s not at all easy writing such an intricate and compelling story (that requires a lot of research, no less) on a deadline. To think you do it all for free, in-spite of your own ongoing commitments, work and life outside, and people still have the audacity to call you names and say shit on anon like WTF. I’m glad that now you don’t have to fret each week about an update because we value your time, well-being and craft more.
The legal details on your latest chapter are crazy, no doubt you must be drained after hours of research on that one. So please get some rest, do things that give you serotonin and be really proud of yourself for finishing such a great chapter! You really went ahead and gave us everything here!
What do I even begin with? Toji’s flirting gave me LIFE. No kidding I was giggling like a mad woman when I came to the “I just wanted to hear your voice” part. He’s a breathe of fresh air on an otherwise tense chapter. And he’s was friends with Gen’s husband? WOW. I see how it is. All the hot people are friends here xD. Legit Gen, Toji and Ian are my favorite characters now. I can see why my favorite girlboss fell for this mighty fine prosecutor now. The way you wrote their small moment in court gave me butterflies. I would legit love to read a fic centered on those two and how they got together (if you decide to do one, no pressure though). They hella cute and whatta power couple!
Coming to Eula… oh that jailrat. I knew she was gonna fuck shit up but this was LOW. I have to hand it to you Saint, she’s one of the best written antagonists I’ve ever read! Props to you. She may not be the sharpest tool on the shed but this was one hell of a move. And I am living for this drama! My poor child Yuta needs therapy for sure, but I’m glad Gojo and him are getting along. Speaking of which… whew Satoru, karma’s a bitch eh? Boy, I really loved his redemption in the last few chapters, but he had it coming. I do not forget Iceland and all the shit that happened till Chapter 8 that easily. I pray for the faint heart of Y/N and munchkin and all the readers for all the whiplash you gave us this chapter and what’s to come. You have an incredible way of knocking us dead with the last few words or lines each chapter, like it’s a punch in the gut (but in a good way, if that makes sense?) Especially this chapter, the last lines, starting with the moonlight thingy I legit got chills. Reminded me of the ending of The Godfather book where the last lines were “prayers for the soul of Michael Corleone”. Saint you should take a master class on writing man! Love ya. Take care and thank you for your amazing work and time! ♥️
CRYINGGG thanks sm for taking the time to write all this <33 🥺 it’s rly nice to hear ur thoughts abt the last chapter !!
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purekesseltrash · 3 years
Text
Chapter 12 of Bury Them Deep, the final chapter, is out!
Fave Excerpt:
Mezou jammed his hands inside of his coat pockets, unsure of what to say or even do besides grin like an idiot.  Tokoyami came to a stop finally and stared at Mezou, mouth open as if he was about to speak.  He gaped for a moment more before a distinctly annoyed look came across his features.  “Fuck,” he hissed, “I had a whole speech that I was thinking up on the way here and suddenly I have found my mind to be a blank slate.”
Mezou laughed, unable to help himself, “I don’t need speeches.”
Tokoyami stepped forward to grab at Mezou’s coat, his grip firm and his face honest, “You deserve them.  I fear I am an incurable romantic and this is simply how I function.  But my words have fled like cowards and the only part of the speech that I can remember is this, but it is the important part.  Let me take you on a date.  A real one.”
“I’d like that,” Mezou said softly.
Fun Facts:
- Hand to god, I had not decided on names for all of Shouji’s siblings until I had to write them.  Thank you, Japanese Name Generator.  Though Makoto is another Sailor Moon reference.  I also had not know that Shouji’s mom was where he got his artistic eye from, though I am glad for it.
- My favorite Hip song is ‘Lake Fever’ or ‘Scared’.  I thought that the lyric in Lake Fever was ‘You whispered Courage’ for the longest time, legitimately until I checked the lyrics to write the pivotal fucking scene only to find out that no, it was ‘hurry’.  It all worked out, thank GOD.
- IDK if anyone noticed, but I ship them as Tokoshouji, as opposed to Shoutoko.  I like the idea of Tokoyami being one taking the initiative better and it seems to fit his character anyway.  I don’t see this dynamic often and it drives me nuts because I could write an ESSAY on why it works so well.  Idk.
- Not even gonna lie, the last Mic segment made me cry.  It was like my final good bye to everyone reading, it’s personal.  And it’s basically me peeking out there, as opposed to just Mic.  For all of hockey’s shitty aspects, it’s the best game in the world.  I love it and I want it to be good and I will do what I can to make it be good.
More stuff under the read more about my future plans with this universe:
- So I have written a chapter and a half of an Erasermic prequel, basically telling the story of what happened when Shouta retired and ended up drugged to the gills and numb to the world at Hizashi’s doorstep, despite the two of them not having seen each other in legitimately over 10 years.
- I also have a side story of Kirishima and Bakugou, both with an idea of how they got together as well as what happens to them when they get to the NHL.  (Spoilers:  Kirishima does not have a good time as the first out and gay NHLer.  He basically gets buried in the minors despite being legitimately good.  Eventually he finally quits hockey way too young.  Bakugou meanwhile is a generational talent and is legit too good to bury in the minors.  When Kirishima retires, Bakugou flies to Tokoyami and Shouji’s house, where Kirishima is licking his wounds, and is like ‘Marry me.’  Kirishima tells him that he’s only going to say yes if Bakugou proposes with a Cup ring and Bakugou is like ‘Bet’.
- I also have one in mind on Ojiro and Shinsou.  They had an amicable breakup when they graduated, both understanding that the life of a hockey wife wasn’t gonna work for Ojiro.  Ojiro went on to meet a super cool alt girl through the info sec community and they got married and had a daughter.  They end up splitting up amicably when their daughter is around 7 and split custody without much of an issue.  Ojiro works remotely and lives in what is basically a lake cabin up in northern Minnesota.  He and Shinsou have kept in touch and when Shinsou finally retires, he comes to visit Ojiro.  The fic would go over them meeting up again.
- And then, of course, there’s Shouji and Tokoyami.
They get their shitty apartment in Atlanta.  Kenta helps them with the deposit and also goes with Shouji as he tries to find one.  Shouji ends up getting taken on by Orca, a buddy of Loder’s who generally doesn’t take Midwestern farm boys on as apprentices but he makes an exception, despite the fact that his work very afro centric.  Shouji is a nice guy though and a damned hard worker and has a good eye so Orca keeps him on for a long while.  Shouji still ends up picking up a bunch of odd jobs here and there, mostly grunt work like putting up drywall, but it gets him and Tokoyami through the absolute agony that is legal school.
Tokoyami goes into intellectual property law.  He knows how much work goes in to art and creative stuff and he wants to protect people like Shouji.  He ends up making a pretty nice living and they’re able to pay off the credit card debt that they accumulated during Tokoyami going through law school.  Shouji actually starts doing pretty well for himself too, mostly with his pottery but still with some sculpture.  Eventually Tokoyami proposes that they move to Raleigh, both because it makes sense for both of them and their jobs and well... because they have a hockey team.
Shouji never gave up hockey.  He had some years right after college where he did struggle to even look at his gear.  He had told his parents that he was gay and not going to the NHL over the phone as they were planning to come to his graduation, because he just couldn’t take them wasting money when he knew that they would never want to talk to him again.  Unfortunately, he was right.  Kenta still came to his graduation though and had two bullhorns that he slammed the entire time that Shouji was accepting his diploma.  He even brought Shouji his own pride flag and insisted on taking a picture with him holding it.  He posted the picture on his facebook with a very bold pronouncement that he was very proud of the first Shouji to get a college degree and how anyone that had a problem with his little brother could take it up with Kenta.  Still, Shouji went through some real mourning with the loss of his family and he took a small break.
But then he came back to it, once they started to get a little extra spending money.  He found a beer league group in Atlanta and started to really get back into the game, researching ways to improve in his downtime.  It got a little weird sometimes at the beer league games because sometimes Shouji would forget that he’d decided to wear eyeshadow or would forget that he had on entirely wrong undergarments but everyone accepts that goalies are weird so it was accepted.  Eventually he ends up having people ask him to coach for their kids, which he is loathe to do until Tokoyami points out that it’s better than Shouji do it, as someone who knows how damaging expectations and pressure can be, than anyone else.  So that becomes a little part time job of his.
Everything isn’t perfect for Shouji and Tokoyami.  Nothing is perfect.  Tokoyami is a borderline hoarder and Shouji can’t stand mess and that causes them to fight enough that they wisely seek counselling. But they’re happy.  Tokoyami eases up on the goth stuff and accepts his accent a bit more, though he still dresses in dark colors, especially for court.  Shouji actually gets to play around a little with the whole genderqueer thing and makes up for the time that he spent avoiding anything that would make him seem too gay.  And they still work really well together, becoming the pair that everyone from college kind of groans at, because they’re so ridiculously in love, but also envies.
They get season tickets to the Carolina Hurricaines.  You’ll see them with Tokoyami in a Devils jersey and Shouji with one of many from his massive collection.  Tokoyami will make comments here and there during the game, showing that he does actually listen when Shouji talks about goalie stuff and they only ever miss a game for gallery openings or work events.  Otherwise, they are there in their seats, holding hands and watching the game.
Feel free to ask me any questions!  I’m more than happy to talk about this, if you couldn’t tell.  (Also, I do have some half written smut so uh.... yeah.)
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Fuck it. Today I get to be self-indulgent and tell you about the entire Fjorester Hallmark Christmas Fanfic that is way too long for me to write these days but I have entirely laid down in my head so instead I’m going to write about it as a bulletpoint fic.... sort of... you’ll get the grasp. Just strap along for the ride. 
(This is obvious and shamelessly based on Tis The Damn Season by Taylor Swift, you can fight me. I said it was self-indulgent)
Okay, so first of all, the group are all friends and knew each other all through college, right? 
Jester studied psychology (she’s an emotional healer, you know?) and especialices in art therapy. 
Fjord did a marine biology major with an acting minor, because deep down he’s a theater nerd but doesn’t dare admit it because he needs to want a “real” career, you know? Also, he paid for his studies with a full swimming team scholarship. 
I legit don’t know what everyone else studied —this is the kinda stuff I would figure out while actually writing the fic— so you get to fill those blanks! 
ANYWAY, basically during college Jester had this art teacher, Artagan, who she became weirdly friendly with (you sometimes become friends with your college teachers, they aren’t even that much older than you and half the time are just as tired)
So this art teacher is delighted by her, right? Keeps telling her how talented an artist she is and how she should definitely come with him to LA after this year is over. He’ll get her into a gallery! She’ll be famous and amazing! 
So Jester goes. And her heart aches. And maybe leaving her mama is so damn hard. And maybe, maybe, she doesn’t want to say goodbye to Fjord but she’s been in love with him for so so so long and he never seemed to see her in that way, so she can’t put her life on pause for him. She can’t. Even if the night before she leaves it looks like he’s trying to tell her something, to half confess something that he never quite does say out loud and her heart falls and she leaves. 
ANYWAY here is where our story begins. 
Jester comes back for christmas after six months away and she is EXCITED to be home! 
(maybe a little too much, maybe things aren’t going as great in LA as she expected) (and mayyyybe she’s a little nervous to see a certain someone but it’s ok)
Fjord picks her up at the airport. He knows her mama doesn’t like going out much and he really, really, really insists that it’s no big deal. His car is old and shitty and there was an incident once that made Jester start calling it “The Ball Eater” to Fjord’s endless dismay (and bemusement). 
Anyway the ride home is light hearted, they make small talk and laugh about old times and Jester talks so much about how amazing everything in LA is but Fjord can’t shake the feeling that something about her, despite her smile, seems sad. 
He also can’t help the desire to hold her hand, or kiss her, or at the very least confess how uselessly in love he’s been with her for years, but she’s only here for like four days because she needs to go back to LA for her big New Years gallery show that Artagan put together and he can’t ask much from her without getting in the way of her dreams, so he doesn’t. 
So they get home and Marion is as delightful as ever and Jester finds out that Fjord has been helping her fix some things around the house (oh so you’re a very handy man, Fjord! *wiggles eyebrows*) and he’s been buying her groceries because he knows Jester used to do it because Marion is always so busy performing at the Chateau (and doing other things for her fancier clients, but Fjord would rather not bring that subject up too often) and he just thought it would be important for someone to look after her from time to time. 
Jester has to choke back tears because she is so moved that he is so wonderful with her mama even when she’s gone. Her heart flutters and it’s terrifying. 
So Fjord leaves and Jester and her mama spend the whole afternoon together, catching up and baking cupcakes and watching christmas movies until Marion has to go to work.
Meanwhile, Fjord is trying to figure out what to do with himself and with Jester —nothing, he decides, he shouldn’t really say anything— and keeps pacing around his apartment to the endless bemusement of his roomate. 
Caduceus was MEANT to go home for the holidays, but there was some kind of change of plans with his family at the last minute (or so he says, he hasn’t been very forthcoming about it and Fjord suspects they might have had an argument or something or maybe Cad just decided not to go home, but how is he supposed to know? He never knew the first thing about families) so now Caduceus is here and for the first time in his life Fjord is not spending Christmas alone. 
Caduceus suggests honesty is the best course of action, that he should just tell Jester how he feels. Yeah. Right. 
Anywayyy
Jester gets together with the rest of her friends “The Nein” they call each other, though they have never been nine, just to mess with people who keep asking and getting weirder and weirder answers. They get some drinks. 
While Fjord is away getting drinks, Beau mentions what a shitty year she’s had and Jester’s brow furrows and Beau says it was just a lot of shit, you know? Vandran just up and leaving town, handing in his thesis (though his tutor, Mrs. Melora was delightful and supportive). She doesn’t mention how depressed Fjord was over Jester leaving, though, but she does say that the cherry on top was his fucking ex showing up again. 
“Avantika came back?!”
Jester’s chest twists with the painful memory of jealousy and anger and worry over how unhealthy the whole thing was and how sick and sleepless and exhausted and sad Fjord seemed though the entire relationship before he finally gathered the courage to break things up. 
Veth knows that, so she brushes it off with a quick “it’s fine, he told her to go fuck herself” and Jester feels maybe a little better —even though she totally has no right because she and Fjord aren’t a thing and he can do whatever he wants ok? she totally doesn’t care, totally. 
Still, maybe, on the way back home she asks if he’s okay and she’s so worried and hesitant and Fjord just melts and assures her he’s alright, that he already knew when Avantika came back that she was not what he wanted, that he deserved more... that he wanted more... and he’s so earnest and breathless that Jester thinks he might really be in love with someone else, then... it doesn’t occur to her that all he can think about is kissing her in that moment, parked outside her mama’s house. 
The porch’s front light turns on, the moment passes, they say goodbye. 
Fjord comes over on the 24th to hang out. Apparently, Caduceus is a little bit more homesick than he is willing to admit and decided to unload all of his Cain Instincts on Fjord. Jester is delighted by the idea of Cad secretly being a prankster, but she lets Fjord hide out with her and her mama as they decorate the house (Marion didn’t have time to before between shifts) and make cookies and watch movies. 
And it’s so easy, so sweet and comfortable, that Jester can’t help but feel like this is what life is meant to be, she can’t help but fantasize about what things could have been like... 
Fjord finally asks what’s wrong. She tries to dodge the question first, assuring him she’s alright, but Fjord has known Jester long enough to figure out that something is weighing on her and he insists that she can tell him anything. 
Jester finally breaks and admits LA isn’t everything she dreamed. It’s pretty great, sure, and she got a job as an art therapist in a nearby clinic and the gallery is going to be great and fun but she feels so lonely, she’s tried to make new friends but everyone is too busy or stuck on their own road to success to really get to know them, she misses the Nein, she misses her mama, she misses her home and Fjord. Besides, Artagan has been so busy with planing the gallery (and all of the other cool artists he has been collecting to showcase there and she didn’t know about before) and he’s just not as focused on being her artistic mentor has before. It’s just a lot. 
And Fjord listens and nods and assures her that she’s brilliant and amazing and she will be alright, but she can always come back home if she wants (god, he wishes she would return). 
instead, Jester says he should come to LA because they used to talk about this, about both going there and trying their luck as artists. “You are such an amazing actor, Fjord!” She insists but Fjord is too anxious. Dreams don’t pay the bills. He can’t just drop everything just to follow a dream... just to follow her. 
It gets quiet after that. 
On the way out, Marion overhears that Fjord is planing to spend christmas alone with Cad on their apartment and insists they should come over for diner instead. 
Jester is delighted! It’s usually just her and her mama (who usually has to leave early because she works christmas night at the hotel) but now Cad and Fjord can come too! And the others should too! Beau and Yasha are here alone too and Veth can bring Yeza and Luke and Caleb will definitely want to spend it here instead of the library right?
So the Nein end up all invited to Jester’s christmas party. 
Which, of course, means they HAVE to do a secret santa. 
Jester gets Caleb, so she enlists Veth and Beau to go shopping for his gift to make it extra especial. 
While they are out doing chores, Caleb texts Jester and asks if he could talk to her later that afternoon. She wonders out loud why that would be and Veth blurts out: “he’s probably finally gonna tell you he’s in love with you” 
And Jester would brush it off with a flirty joke if it wasn’t by the way Beau slaps the back of Veth’s head and tells her “you said you wouldn’t tell on him!” 
So Jester is shocked and confused and thrown off balance because she never even considered Caleb like that. Does Caleb like her? Is he in love with her? Is she supposed to know that? To like him back? Oh no, he’s going to tell her this afternoon isn’t he? 
And she has to give him a christmas gift for the secret santa!
Caos and overthinking ensue and finally Jester buys Caleb a big thick book he’d been eyeing for a while but that he’d deemed too expensive to get and a very long scarf with lots of tiny cats and there’s nothing romantic about it but she’s still worried about it. 
So, either way, Caleb and Jester meet up for a late coffee (Caleb is basically immune to caffeine at this point so it’s fine and Jester only drinks hot coco so it’s alright). 
And Jester jumps the gun, she goes on and on and on about how she had no idea and she’s so sorry and she’s not sure about how to feel with this but she doesn’t want to hurt Caleb because he’s such a good friend and she really does care about him a lot but-
Caleb cuts her off with a laugh. He already knew she’s not in love with him, which is why he never brought the subject up. He’s fine, he’s moved on. 
Oh?
Actually, he wanted to talk with her because he is seeing someone else (ESSEK) and he wanted to know if it would be alright to bring him over for christmas tomorrow. He thinks he’s ready to introduce them to his friends and a party seems like a good idea. 
Jester is delighted again and assures him he totally can come and not to worry about the extra space or work or food because Caduceus and Fjord promised to come help her prepare everything for the party. 
She grabs his hands and assures him with a bright smile that she’s incredibly happy for him and hopes this is the good kinda love that makes him feel warm and fuzzy and smile. And Caleb blushes and nods and mumbles that maybe it is. 
CUT TO: Fjord is totally accidentally watching this from outside the coffeeshop because he was out buying gifts too (for his secret friend, Beau, a dope set of weights... and for Jester, a tiny unicorn that he just saw and had to get for her because he knew it would make her so happy). 
Either way, as you can imagine, what Fjord sees is easily misunderstood. 
Cue: heartbreak. 
Which gets us to christmas morning filled with excitement and presents and hugs. 
Fjord and Caduceus come over to help the Lavorre women cook (Fjord feels a little responsible over turning their little yearly diner into a fully blown party because he mentioned they were spending it alone at home). 
And Fjord is sad. He isn’t angry, or rude, or jealous... okay, maybe a little jealous, but mostly he’s just heart-broken and Jester can tell something is off, but Fjord makes an effort to smile and pretend like everything is fine and –wow, whoever he is in love with (that person he said he now new he wanted) might have broken his heart and Jester is so confused and at a lost. 
Anyway, it’s Caduceus who finally has enough of the mopping around and pulls Fjord aside to figure out what’s wrong and Fjord just blurts everything out: Jester and the feelings and the almost kiss in his car and the hanging out and the stupid little unicorn he has back at home and now doesn’t dare give her and Jester holding Caleb’s hands and how stupid he feels and how he had no right to feel that way anyway...
Cad lets him ramble and in the end just sighs and puts a hand on his shoulder and says: you should give her the gift. Did you get it so she would love you? Did you get it to get something in return? 
No, Fjord says, he just wanted to make her happy. 
Well, it will still make her happy, right? Isn’t that what you want?
And Fjord nods despite the hurt and Cad thinks he is so clever because of course he knows that Jester is in love with Fjord and that Caleb has moved on but he figures his roommate needs to figure it out himself this time. 
And so, the party comes. 
They do the secret santa early, because everyone is too chaotic and excited to wait to figure out what gifts they will get and they all want their friends to see the awesome gifts they got them already. 
Fjord nearly bites through his cheek while he sees Jester give Caleb her secret santa gift. 
Yasha gives Jester a beautiful dress, dark but artistic, that everyone insists she must try on and model for them at once because the world really hates Fjord and wants to make him blush and squirm as much as possible over the girl of his dreams. 
Caduceus gets Fjord an amazing movie collection with all the western classics he loves and it’s probably one of the nicest gifts he’s ever gotten. 
The tiny unicorn weights like a fucking ton inside Fjord’s pocket through most of the night. He convinces himself that he can’t give it to Jester, it would be overstepping. If she loves someone else, he needs to respect that. 
And then Essek shows up, and Fjord understands many things at once, and he’s so stupid he wants to laugh and hit himself at the same time. 
And yeah, just because Jester isn’t in love with someone else it doesn’t mean that she will like him now... of course not... but he feels a little bit less like a terrible friend and person for wanting her to. 
He pulls her out to the porch with some dumb excuse and after a lot of awkward small talk he finally brings out the tiny unicorn. 
Jester is delighted. What? Why? When? And Fjord just tells her the truth, that he saw it and thought of her and how happy it would make her and he had to... 
So Jester kisses his cheek and he blushes furiously and just as the moment is about to die down Veth shouts from inside that someone hid a lot of mistletoe around the house and that she is not kissing any of her friends thank you very much. 
So the two of them look up just in time to see GUESS WHAT hanging over their heads. Because of course. 
Blushing. Awkwardness. I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t- I mean if you- I mean I do- Do you? Yeah. Wait. Really? I mean, do you want to? Y-yes! 
They kiss. 
And it’s quick and shy and not really a big romantic kiss, barely a peck between two friends terrified of fucking everything up. 
The night goes on and neither of them can stop thinking about it... but other than that, it’s just a fun party. 
Fjord doesn’t sleep much, he’s up early and pacing around the house until he decides he needs to try that again. Just once more. One more kiss. And maybe then... and, yes, she will leave, but maybe one more kiss wouldn’t be so terrible before that?
So Fjord runs. He runs over to her home, heart in his throat. 
He knocks on the door, rushed and breathless... and finds Marion looking sad. 
Jester got a call that very morning saying Artagan needed her ASAP back in LA because the gallery is apparently a mess and he needs her help to organize the big night. 
Fjord does his best to cheer Marion up but he also knows, he knows, how upset Jester must have been to lose the last few days home. 
Meanwhile, Jester is doing her best to help Artagan (after finding out her mentor might be an amazingly talented artist but a terrible event organizer) and basically runs herself thin, going crazy and barely sleeping for a couple days. 
Two days before the big exhibit everything is still a mess and it’s too much for her to handle alone... and then the Nein arrive. 
What are you doing here? What is going on? How are you here? 
And they just shrug and smile and say they missed her and ‘hey, do you need a little help with that?’ and before she knows it everyone is helping her up and putting together everything that’d been falling apart. 
Beau basically intimidates the catering service into actually delivering on time by reviewing their contract and finding how much money they could lose if they don’t. Yasha, turns out, has a fantastic eye for art and helps pick where and how each piece should be hanged. Veth goes nuts with the decoration, making it way fancier than anyone expected this little art show to be —she demands black tie for everyone who is coming, too. Caleb and Essek result amazing with lights and music and manage got connect the whole audio system by some sort of magical miracle because it hasn’t worked properly since the 8s. Caduceus and Fjord offer to serve drinks when the barman calls in sick. 
In the end, after a few hectic days, it all works out. 
Jester finds out from Beau that Fjord basically knocked on their doors as soon as he found out she had to come back and talked everyone into coming and drove all the way here in his cheap shitty Ball Eater car (it broke down halfway through and Fjord and Caleb had to fix it themselves which is also why it took them two whole days to get to LA). 
The night of the gallery everything is perfect and beautiful and Jester could cry because she has the best friends in the world —but, really, she could cry because she’s missed them so much and having them here with her has made LA seem like a true city of stars again. 
And so, she takes a moment in between smiling and shaking hands and posing for pictures with Artagan (who is sort of taking all the credit for their work but it’s alright because he’s already hooked her and two others up with a bunch of interested agents and it seems like he really just wants to help this small artists have their big break) and Jester steps outside to take some air. 
Fjord follows. 
And she starts to thank him, earnestly, for all his help and support and she has no idea how she could’ve done any of this without them —without him. She can’t believe he followed her all the way here (as if Fjord has done anything else since the day they met on their college’s induction day... he always follows her)
Fjord, a little coyly, says that he could pay her back by lending him a couch while he looks for a place... and that’s how Jester finds out Fjord’s moving to the city to try and pursue acting. 
“Job hunting wasn’t going too well either, so I figured I might as well give my dreams a chance... I would also really like to be closer to you,” he admits, in a moment of boldness. 
And Jester understands. Finally. She sees what she was too afraid of admitting to herself out of fear of heartbreak and disappointment. 
“I can lend you a couch,” she smiles, playfully, “but it will cost you... a movie, maybe diner later” 
And his eyes sparkle as he steps closer and says, “I think I can manage that” and he asks if he can kiss her, following a hunch, and she nods. 
Just as everyone shouts HAPPY NEW YEAR inside the building. 
THE END
ok that’s all, i cannot bring myself to actually write this multichapter, but I hope anyone who is still here after ALL THAT enjoyed the ride. 
Happy holidays!! 
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binniedeactivated · 3 years
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𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 ↺ || 𝐡.𝐤.
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𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 |  𝐡𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐤𝐚𝐢 𝐱 𝐦𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐝!𝐩𝐨𝐜 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥
𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 |  𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐚𝐮 , "𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫" 𝐚𝐮.
𝐖/𝐂 |  15.389k
𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 | (𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞 "𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫") 𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞'𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭. 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬, 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐞𝐥, 𝐡𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐤𝐚𝐢.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬.
a/n; i miss making legit fics for yall ;(((((( and I feel bad because I haven’t been writing as much as I should I’m so so sorry <3
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“so what are you? sophomore? freshman?”. bria asks, stuffing her foot into her platformed converse. gabrielle nods, folding a shirt and inserting it into her drawer. “wow I wasn’t expecting them to give me a freshman for a roommate”. she scoffs kind of smug. “is that a problem?”. gabrielle speaks up, pushing a puffy curly strand of hair over to the other side of her head. bria only grinned and shook her head no. “nah. that just means I have a lot to teach you”.
“teach me?”.
“yeah”, bria agrees, in the mirror coating her lips with gloss. bria was a dark skinned five foot eight beauty. if gabrielle didn’t know any better she’d mistake her for a model almost. she had gorgeous curly afro hair, similar to that of a lion’s mane. gabrielle hadn’t saw much of her wardrobe yet but just by the edgy outfit she was already wearing she could tell that her style was to die for. her lips were thick and full and complimented her cat-like eyes well. gabrielle thought maybe she could pick up a few tips from her, especially with makeup. it was so perfect she could feel herself shrinking into her own insecurities. she thought she was pretty decent looking but no where near bria's level. gabrielle herself had honey brown skin, big brown curly hair with lots of volume. heart shaped lips. large brown wistful eyes with clear glasses frames worn over them. she was sort of chubby. her physique wasn't something she saw as a win in her eyes. her chest was average sized and her ass was there yet barely visible. and her waist definitely wasn't as snatched as bria's. but still, if she was going to be in college amongst those who looked different from her she had to try and gain some type of confidence about herself.
“what is there to teach me?”.
bria scoffs again, screwing the cap back onto her gloss. “you don’t want to know what it’s like to live the life here? trust me girl I’m almost a senior I can teach you a few things”.
“like what? if you’re talking about partying and all that I’m going to have to pass. I just got here and I don’t want to be running into trouble”.
“girl how is partying going to get you in trouble? you’re grown now. you don’t have you parents watching over you anymore. you can be free and do what you want to do”.
gabrielle grabs another shirt. “yeah but suppose one of ya’ll do some illegal shit? and then what? I can’t tell the cops that I wasn’t involved because I’m just a freshman. I’m going to jail right with ya’ll”.
bria tilts her head back and laughs. “you’re a trip if you think we ever do illegal shit and get caught”.
gabrielle shuts her drawer, moving another box across the room to her desk. “yeah well, I don’t want to be involved anyway. even the risk is too much. plus I don’t know how my boyfriend is going to feel about me out partying with other guys and shit”.
bria made a tsk noise with her lips prior to walking to her closet for her collection of purses. “you really came to college with a boyfriend? just how dumb are you?”.
“what? what’s wrong with having a boyfriend?”.
“girl do I even have to ask? look at you. you’re already uptight. you don’t want to party, you’re worried about what he might think. he already has you right where he wants you. living a boring life like him”.
gabrielle shifts her weight on her feet. “he doesn’t--live a boring life. he’s just protective”.
“tsk. that’s what he told you?”.
“well yeah--”.
“how old is your little boyfriend?”.
“he’s seventeen”.
bria tilts her head back and does that laugh again. the one that made gabrielle seem out out of place. mostly because she didn’t know what was funny to begin with. “yeah he’s young he’s still a senior in high school so what?”. she quickly defends.
“girl that ain’t gonna work. you’re in college you have to level up”.
“my boyfriend is fine. he’s all the leveling up I need”.
“mhm. we’ll see about that. anyways, I’m going to my girlfriend’s suite later you should come”.
“suite?”.
bria rolls her eyes. “girl relax we’re not going to be doing anything illegal. just chilling. maybe a little drinking or smoking but--i wouldn’t call that illegal”.
“drinking and smoking? I’ll pass”.
“you don’t have to do it. you’re acting like there’s going to be people there forcing you. it’s going to be her friends and a little bit of mine. if you want to make some lit friends quickly then I suggest you come so you can get yourself out there a little”.
“don’t worry. I can make friends in my classes”.
“aren’t you a biology major?”.
“yeah”.
“then you definitely need to come. or else you’re going to be playing battle of the nerds these next four years”.
gabrielle rolls her eyes, “what’s your major anyways?”.
“fashion design”.
gabrielle nods her head in response. that made a whole lot of sense.
“so? gabby? you coming or what because if so I want to see what you’re wearing”.
“it’s just a suite gathering right? I’m not trying to wear nothing special. probably like a sweater, some ripped jeans and sneakers”.
“pft ‘gathering’. you are so proper. outfit sounds cute but don’t you want to wear something a little revealing? you need to get a new man”.
gabrielle rolls her eyes. “like i said before I’m happy with the guy I have. and no I don’t want to wear anything revealing, have these guys out here thinking that they’re going to get a chance to fuck me”.
“and what’s wrong with that?”.
“everything”.
“whatever. I’ll be back to come grab you later. be ready.”. bria prompts before swinging a bag over her shoulder and leaving the room. gabrielle rolls her eyes. she continues organizing the knick knacks on her desk, most importantly the picture of her and her boyfriend. she missed him dearly and with her college being two hours away from home she didn’t know what she was going to do away from him from so long. texting and facetiming helped but there was nothing like being around him. she huffs her breath though, trying to push the thought to the back of her mind until she was ready to think of it again.
when she started getting dressed she was thinking more and more about what bria was saying. she wanted to look like herself but she still wanted to look cute because at the end of the day, she didn’t know bria or her girlfriend’s friends. this would be their first impression of her so she wanted to make it count. she pulls a scrunchie through her ponytail in a half up half down hairstyle and throws on a couple of hand rings and necklaces to go along with her outfit. she wasn’t too keen on makeup but she did apply winged eyeliner and a bit of lipstick just to keep herself from looking too plain. she looked over at herself in the mirror almost one hundred times, posing so she could see herself from different angles. she wondered if she really looked as good as she thought she did.
“girl you ready--ou okay! so you want to get a new man tonight after all?”. bria says while barging in, scaring the hell out of gabrielle. “damn can you stop screaming? no I don’t want a new man. I just want to look nice”. bria smirks. “whatever. if we don’t leave now we’re going to get there hella late so let’s go”.gabrielle nods and takes her phone off it’s charger. it was getting kind of dark outside but she could already hearing laughing and playing inside the quads of campus. she figured night time was only the beginning of all the fun.
“so? how is it here for real?”. gabrielle asked while they were walking, bria held her phone in her face preparing to take a selfie. “it’s actually not that bad. it’s just like every other college. has it’s pros and cons but at the end of the day, it depends on who you know. as long as you surround yourself with lit people you’ll have a good time”. gabrielle nods. she wanted to surround herself with those kind of people but she needed to focus on her studies. in high school she wasn’t in the mix too much. so she didn’t really know how she was going to function being around them in college. for the most part she had good control over herself, so she wasn’t worried.
when bria said suite, gabrielle wasn’t taking it quite literal. she hadn’t known the seniors practically had two floor suites together. gabrielle had never felt the sudden urge to rush and be a senior in her life. the living room was full with a bunch of people which automatically gave gabrielle anxiety. bria kisses her girlfriend on the lips before intertwining her fingers with hers. “babe this is my roommate gabby. gabby this is my girlfriend diamond”. gabrielle gave her a shy greeting trying to figure out if everyone bria knew looked just as good as she did. diamond was also a fair-skinned doll. “she’s a freshman I’m trying to make her make some friends”. bria comments. “they roomed you with a freshman?”. diamond asks. “right? that’s what I thought. but don’t worry she’s gonna be lit soon”. gabrielle rolls her eyes and scans around the room. there were people in the living room and kitchen it seemed. there was music playing and some of them was drinking and/or smoking and some weren’t which gabrielle liked.
when scanning though she wasn’t expecting her eyes to land on a certain someone, or rather, a certain someone’s eyes to be landed on her. his hair was black and long down the nape of his neck and over his eyes a bit. he wore a black hoodie, black jeans and sneakers. his overall aesthetic was dark gabrielle noticed, he also had a couple of finger nails painted black and a large cuban linked necklace peeking from his hoodie collar. his lips were pink and supple and his eyes were deep set and light brown, boring into hers. needless to say gabrielle thought he was the most gorgeous thing she’s ever laid her eyes on. she looks away to avoid his gaze and he smirks in response.
bria went around introducing her to everyone before going elsewhere with diamond. it kind of scared gabrielle because now she was forced to fiend for herself. everyone seemed considerably chill though and welcoming, offering her blunts and drinks to which she kindly declined. they didn’t seem to care, instead talked to her about other things like asking her her major and telling her how pretty she was. and every so often she’d try to join in the conversation to stay on her toes. she thought college gatherings would be much more crazier than this, maybe some project X party type of scene. she was shocked to see how cool they actually were, and how easily she clicked with them. things didn’t start getting a little wilder until later when a bunch of them gathered in the middle of the floor to play a drunk spin the bottle game. something gabrielle declined also, well, her and others. specifically that guy that was staring at her earlier, whom was leaning on the wall talking to some of his friends. his eyes broke away from them and fled to her every so often, admiring how pretty she was. and if anyone knew heuning kai, which everyone had, they knew that girls like gabrielle were the type of girls he aimed for.
“I take it that you don’t drink or party often?”. he spoke lightly, making gabrielle almost freeze in place. his voice was smoother than she imagined it. subtle, yet serious. “um--yeah it’s not really my thing”. she assures nervously, wanting more than anything to detach from his eyes but he was leaning on the kitchen counter near her and he had this addictive gaze that she couldn’t get enough of. not to mention he was six feet even, tall enough to be quite intimidating over her five foot five frame. “what’s your name?”. he smirked a little at her nervous fidgeting. “gabrielle”. he nods. “hm. gabrielle. you pretty. you know that?”. he took a quick sip of his drink and it was there where she noticed the silver rings around his fingers. why the hell was he so attractive?
“thank you”.
“i don’t really do all of this either. maybe we can chill somewhere together”.
gabrielle scoffs. “no, I’m fine. I know what guys mean when they say they want to chill. and I’m not that type of girl”.
“I’m not the type of guy to beat around the bush. if i wanted something from you I would’ve just said it. but”, he shrugs. “I want to hang with you. and if you don’t want to that’s fine”.
she bit the inside of her cheeks thinking, which was a bad move because by the the time she conjured up an answer he already walked off, leaving her feeling kind of stupid and the scene ate at her for days. she kept thinking of other answers she could’ve given him to make her seem less rude. he probably hated her now and thought she was uptight. one thing’s for sure she wasn’t going to tell bria about this just to avoid the teasing and taunting about it all. but gabrielle couldn’t help herself. she found herself wanting heuning kai’s attention. she wanted to be the girl that he desired. and ever since that night it seemed as if she saw him everywhere.
“he’s so fucking cute--”. her seatmate mutters in philosophy, gabrielle was too busy doodling on the edge of her notebook sheet to pay attention. “who?”. she asked without even looking up. “him”.
she shifts her attention away from her paper and captures a sight of kai. his hair was parted over his eyes this time and he wore a white turtleneck underneath a black ripped jean jacket. he still had different fingernails of his painted black, and a thin silver necklace wrapped tightly around his neck. gabrielle watched as his hair sifted every time he walked. he was the type of gorgeous where every time you saw him it was like everything was happening in slow motion. he had the fair share of girls surround him and his guy friends who encouraged him to sit by them. while he was on his way to his seat his eyes locked with gabrielle’s for a swift moment. her heart raced. her seatmate tapped her vigorously. “girl! who was he looking at?! was he looking at you?”. she whispered excitedly. the professor arrives and sits his bag down on the desk in front of the class. “I don’t know”.
“I’m assuming you’re all coming to class with a fresh memory of the reading from last night”, professor witman started, “I want you to take out your notebooks, laptops, phones or whatever you use to take your notes on and I want to ask you this, would you rather be a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond? and why?”. he takes a piece of chalk and scrawls the letters on the blackboard. “I want you to be really thinking about this”. almost instantly gabrielle could see everyone writing or typing away. but she was too deep in thought. about the question, and about heuning kai. he stared at her like that frequently and she never knew what it meant. or how she could reproach him. she was far too intimidated to. maybe he would’ve shrugged her off. maybe he would’ve just flat out ignored her. he had enough clout and divine looks to deny anyone and still have a line of people waiting to date him. gabrielle just wanted to smack herself. what the hell was she doing thinking about him? she had a boyfriend back home. a boyfriend whose been loving her for almost two years now.
“heuning kai. share your thoughts”. professor witman directed. and like always, but much more literal now, all eyes were on the attractive tall boy at the back of the lecture hall.
“the way I see it it’s kind of like a double edged sword”, he talked with his hands and with certainty, “if you’re a big fish in a small pond you’re among the privileged. you have life going for yourself. you do the best at everything, you’re at the top of everyone’s list, you cross every t and dot every I. life is good. but at the end of the day it’s just because you’re in a small pond. outside of that pond you’re just a normal fish like everyone else. however if you’re a small fish in a big pond you’re hidden. no one really notices you, everyone looks over your intelligence, talents , and wit. there’s going to be people miles ahead of you and people miles behind you. but in this big pond there are big fish that you can learn from and help you overall grow as a person. so even though you’re a small, you’re gradually improving yourself. you’ve made mistakes and you harness them to your advantage. so yeah”, he continues. “I’d rather be a small fish”. all eyes rested back on the professor who nods his head in agreement. quite impressed with his answer.
“well said heuning. well said”.
he began calling on others but gabrielle kept her mind fixated on kai. there was no way he was attractive and smart at once. she never heard of that before. attractive and rebellious yes. attractive with horrible grades yes. but she never came across someone like kai before. she was intrigued.
"cute right? I think I'm going to ask him out". gabrielle heard a voice beside her while she was walking out of class. the sudden voice startled her a little, she wasn't expecting to be interrupted by anyone especially when she was staring at the boy for what it felt like the umpteenth time. she quickly tried to act like she was looking for someone. "ask who out?". gabrielle asks. the girl nudges her, directing her attention to the infamous rebel at the end of the hallway, talking and joking around with some of his boys. "kai", she nods with certainty, "I think I'm going to ask him to go out with me this weekend or something. then again I probably shouldn't have told you that. you probably were planning on doing the same thing". gabrielle quickly shakes her head no. "I wasn't actually I was trying to figure out which way to go for my next class". the girl curled her lips into a dubious grin of disbelief. "yeah right. you're telling me you're not attracted to heuning kai at all?". gabrielle pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "I never said that it's just I wasn't planning on asking him out or anything". the girl hummed. "yeah well don't tell anyone that I'm planning on doing that. I already know everyone else is going to try to rush to do it before I do". gabrielle fiddled with the corners of her notebook pages. "yeah no problem". and with that they parted ways. the girl went to meet him at the end of the hallway and gabrielle walked past them both, trying to process the fact that kai took a quick look in her eyes before he looked at the girl in front of him.
within a few weeks her newfound friend from her biology class observed her well. especially while they were walking in the quads. it seemed as if gabrielle couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. all the while he kept his attention elsewhere, either horsing around with his friends or talking to them.
“don’t tell me you’re falling for him too”. michelle insinuates.
“too?”,
“heuning kai has enough girls swooning over him that they all could probably wrap around this campus”.
“look at him. you don’t think it makes sense?”.
“well yeah it makes a whole lot of sense but you don’t want to get caught up with him. i heard he’s trouble“.
“what kind of trouble?”.
“trouble. why are you worried? i thought you had a boyfriend anyways”.
“I do but for some reason I just-- I can’t help who I’m attracted to”.
“well you need to. he’s no good”.
gabrielle exhales, listening. yet her eyes peered up at the boy anyways. what a mistake that was. she caught him doing the same thing. no smirk, no smile or anything. just a stare that captivated her enough to where the rest of the world blurred around her. she took heed to michelle’s advice for a couple of days, where she only focused on her school work and seeing what her boyfriend was up to back home. he was doing well and from the looks of his snapchat and instagram stories it seemed that he was having some fun of his own. he too was partying and hanging with friends also. it only made gabrielle think about the other possibilities. how was she so sure that he wasn’t with some other girl? or took interest in someone else? everything was so unclear while she was far away. she never took her boyfriend to be the cheating type. but the both of them were living in two separate worlds now. in his world he was still trapped in his high school lifestyle. but in hers, becoming appealing to heuning kai was all she could think about. and she hated it.
she drains the water out of her hair and fluffs it, throwing a bathrobe on to go to her room and study. she hoped bria wasn’t there because she really needed some alone time to collect her thoughts for a while. and let’s just say bria wasn’t the quietest person to study around. she twists the doorknob of the room and jumped back with shock, dropping her toiletries and clothes right in front of the door. it was heuning kai, relaxing on bria’s bed scrolling through his phone as if he belonged there. once his eyes laid on gabrielle’s he covers them with a hand and turns the opposite direction.
“heuning kai! what are you doing in here?”. “bria told me to meet her in here so she could give me the homework that’s due tomorrow. I’m not trying to be a pervert”. gabrielle squats to pick up her belongings, placing her clothes in her hamper and toiletries on her shelf. her heart was pounding through her ears almost but she tried her best to keep calm.
“well, she should’ve told me that. she didn’t tell you she had a roommate?”.
“well it’s common sense that she has a roommate but she made it seem as though you weren’t going to be here”. he says, speaking to the wall. gabrielle folds her arms.
“you know you can uncover your eyes. I’m not naked”. slowly but surely he reveals them, sliding his hand down his face until it was on his lap. their eyes met again, the same heart wrenching stare that they always gave each other at a distance. the one that made gabrielle just want to pass out right then and there. “why do you always do that?”. she mutters breaking the silence between them. “do what?”.
“stare at me. why do you always stare at me like that?”. she swallows nervously, afraid of the answer. “why do you always stare at me like that?”. he replies. she swallows again searching her mind for a response. how the hell does one tell someone that they stare at them because they want to be noticed without sounding too desperate? she didn’t want to sound that way. even though to an extent, she was.
she turns on her heels to place her phone on the charger, figuring maybe if she avoided his gaze she’d be able to think of something. kai licks his lips before he speaks again. “I like looking at pretty things”. by now her hands were practically shaking. she could’ve sworn he hated her by now. “what’s the matter with just telling someone that you think they’re pretty? you don’t think you’re going to look like a creep by just staring at them?”. kai shakes his head no. “whose to say I stare at everyone?”. she reaches into her drawer to grab some pajamas. she couldn’t believe she was even talking to him. “i thought you hated me”. she mutters. “why would I hate you?”. ,
“that night at diamond’s place. you walked off before I could even give you an answer”. kai thinks for a moment. “you made an assumption about me and brushed me off. and I’m not interested in courting girls who don’t want to be courted. so I left you alone”. “whose to say that I didn’t want to be courted?”. she blurted without even thinking. shit. she probably sounded desperate as hell right about now. “so tell me. what’s it going to be? because I’d love to take a pretty girl out on a date tomorrow night”. gabrielle played with her fingernails wanting to pinch herself. or run maybe. either way the question made her just want to curl into a ball and hide. “tell me who the pretty girl is and maybe she’ll provide an answer”. she shortly replies. kai laughs a little. “the pretty girl is you. go on a date with me”.
“mm - how do I know you’re not some serial killer or something?”. kai laughs again and god, how her heart fluttered at his laugh. “wouldn’t I have killed you already? we’ve been in the room alone for almost ten minutes now”. she nods and giggles soon after. “makes sense”.
“so yeah I have a car, maybe you can meet me at the side building tomorrow night? we don’t have to go anywhere far. downtown maybe”. gabrielle shrugs through the fact that she was practically dying inside. “that’s fine. does seven work?”. kai smiles a little. “seven is perfect”.
“damn kai how long you been waiting in here?”. bria marches in, more than late for the time she arranged with him. “since the time you gave me. by the time I turn this assignment in it’s going to be overdue”. bria playfully slaps him on the shoulder before sliding the homework sheet for him to copy out her folder. he laughs and rubs the spot in pain, “thank you mean ass”. she shoos her hand. “yeah whatever. get out my room I’m tired. did you say hi to my roommate on your way in?”. kai continues sliding his jean jacket over his arms before getting up to walk towards the door. he rolls his eyes. “yes I said hi. didn’t i say hi gabrielle?“. he smirks. she tried her best not to smile too hard. “yeah he did. get out like she said though. I’m tired too”. kai laughs and grabs the doorknob, “fine, I’m out”. bria was flipping him off but halfway between him closing the door he gave gabrielle a little smile that made her heart warm, almost as if to say “don’t forget about tomorrow night”.
which gabrielle hadn’t. hell, she straightened her hair hours prior just to prepare. she was happy that bria was out for almost the whole day, leaving her to get ready in peace. she wasn’t quite sure what to wear but she wanted to be comfortable. so instead of wearing a skirt or halter top she settled on a stylish oversized t shirt look with baggy pants and sneakers. and to be a little more girly, she grabbed a small purse. it was weird you know, just leaving her dorm and not having anyone to report to. not having to tell her mother or father that she was going out. not having to explain that she was going out with a boy and not them not having to meet him. it kind of felt nice and it was kind of freeing. she exhales deeply while walking to his car. he was parked where he said he was, in a car that was pretty gorgeous might she add. out of her dorm and now into the passenger seat of his car was an unbelievable feeling. that’s for sure. “you look pretty”. he compliments with a toothy smile that gabrielle couldn’t stop looking at. her cheeks flush deeply. “thank you. heuning”. he laughs at the name and shifts gears preparing to drive. “heuning”. he repeated. “just call me kai”.
“what if i like the sound of heuning?”. he laughs again. “no one does. but, if you do I wouldn’t mind you calling me that. it sounds cute coming from you”. she exhales for the umpteenth time, “please, with the flirting”. she smiles. he was truly killing her on the inside. “where are we going?”.
“shouldn’t that be a surprise? it will ruin the whole date if I told you”.
“how would it ruin the whole date? what if i want to prepare myself?”.
“you will. once we arrive”. she giggles and settles for his answer although she really wanted to know. cutting through her thoughts though was her boyfriend sending her multiple text messages at once. explaining to her how his day went and asking her how was hers. but while on a date he was the last thing she wanted to think about so she switched her phone to silent mode and shoved it back into her purse. “whose that? your boyfriend?”. kai jokes. she sat there with a frozen expression for a while until kai elbows her a little. “it’s just a joke relax”. he laughs. she tries her best to laugh through it when it really kind of scared her. she hadn’t planned on telling him a thing. especially since she really wasn’t obligated to. it wasn’t like heuning was her boyfriend anyways.
out of all places to take her an ice skating rink wasn’t on that checklist. she had no type of coordination, nevertheless skating in a rink full of pros. “have you ever been ice skating before?”. kai asks while slipping the money to the box office worker to pay for their tickets. he gives her a small thank you once she exchanged them. gabrielle shivers a bit, she forgot how cold the rink could be. maybe she shouldn’t have left her jacket in the car. “I have. i wouldn’t say I’m good though”. once their skates were all tied up kai slips his jean jacket off his arms and positions it behind her. “here put this on. you have to be warm when you skate don’t you?”. she shakes her head, “no it’s alright I got it. I think I’ll be fine”. he chuckles. “just put it on. I don’t want you getting a frostbite in here trying to be modest”. she finally gives in allowing him to slide her arms inside of it. it was much more oversized on her and warmer than any jacket she had in her closet. kai eyes the way the sleeves slip past the tips of her fingers, he thought it looked adorable on her.
stepping onto the ice was a brutal nightmare for her. she had no balance and hasn’t been ice skating in almost four years. before she could slip and fall to the ice in embarrassment kai catches her fall and lifts her back to her feet. “baby steps love. do you want to hold my hand maybe?”. her heart sank at the sound of his voice being so overwhelming when he was much closer to her. and as nervous as she was the last thing she wanted to do was fall. so she obliged. she clutched his hand and took glides with him, trying to get the hang of it but it was obvious that she was only surviving because of him. well kind of surviving. once a little boy zoomed past her it went downhill from there. she immediately lost balance and plopped right down on the ice on her butt. “this shit is embarrassing”. she shamefully admits and kai smiles. he squats down to her level and lifts her to her feet again. “it’s alright you just have to try harder.  do you want to hold my hand again coldbutt?”. kai chuckles and holds his hand out for her to grab. she rolls her eyes pretending to be annoyed with him. “not if you’re going to call me that”.
“okay fine. I won’t. come here stop being a baby”.
she takes his hand again and he guides her around the circumference of the rink slowly. she had her hands in front of her just in case though, trying to brace any future falls. “see? just carefully shift your weight around. it’s not that bad”.
“for you it isn’t. I almost died a couple of times. and you laughed”.
“i wasn’t laughing at you I was laughing with you”.
“I wasn’t even laughing!”. she said aloud with a light chuckle at the end of her sentence making kai chuckle as well. “you and bria must have a grand time together with your matching attitudes”.
“oh please. she gets on my nerves sometimes. how do you even know bria anyway? aren’t you a freshman?”.
“sophomore. and I know everyone”. she scoffs. “oh yeah of course. you’re thee heuning kai“. kai hums. “why are you emphasizing my name like that?”. she shrugs. “that’s how everyone else emphasizes it”.
he swallows. “I’m not what everyone says I am”. 
“I figured”. 
“you figured?”. she points. “yeah look at your face. you have too much of a baby face to do anything rebellious”. kai chuckles, “what’s that saying? don’t judge a book by it’s cover?”.
“yeah. I’m just saying. why you single anyway? with all those girls after you”. kai shrugs, gripping her hand a little tighter sensing that she was drifting off and on the verge of falling again. “I don’t want them”. gabrielle makes a pft noise.
“what?”.
“you mean to tell me out of all the thousands of girls that want you, you’re taking interest in absolutely none of them?”. kai looks away for a second before looking back down at her. “I’m taking an interest in you aren’t I?”. gabrielle waddles for a second before standing straight up, trying to glide her feet again. “oh please. who said I even wanted you?”.   
   “why would you be on a date with someone you don’t want?”. she playfully rolls her eyes. “whatever heuning”. he glides in front of her, facing her and skating backwards, holding her hands that way. “how about we do it like this?”. he starts picking up his pace leaving her dragging with him. “wait! slow down a little”. he grins. “the only way you’re going to learn is if you take risks”. she panics. “I’m not playing you’re going to make me bust my ass on this ice”. he grins a little more and completely lets go of her hands skating circles around her making her dizzy and unstable. she tries her best to stay afloat but every time she looked up he was at another angle around her. she laughs. “stop playing! I’m going to fall“. he laughs along with her and continues his 360 circles until she put out a hand in attempt to push him out her way. he instead grabbed her wrists and leans forward so that she was dangling from his back. “come on hop up”. he coaxes, she breathed watching her breath become frost in the wintry air. "I'm too fat for that. please".
“oh shut up”. he hiked her legs up around his waist and dashed around the rink a couple more times, she had to admit it was fun riding on his back like this. more fun than she thought it would be. it was kind of like she was riding on a sleigh of some sort. she was nervous though, she hasn't really been carried by anyone before and it shocked her that heuning didn't care much about her weight. in a way she felt seen. she felt more appreciated. “heuning if we fall I’m beating your ass”. he chuckles. “why would I put you on my back if I knew there was a chance I’d drop you?”. he turns his head to the side to look over his shoulder at her features, never minding the fact that his lips were dangerously close to hers. she melted into the warmth of his eyes. they were pretty. so were his lips. so was his face. his voice was soothing and he was gentle with her. she turned her head the other direction to keep herself from becoming too flustered. “I’m hungry”. she babbles switching the subject of focus.
she begged for the bill but kai refuse to let her pay for her own food. had she known, she would've gotten something cheaper. but nevertheless the black haired boy was pooling out cash to pay for not only his own but her expensive meal as well. he clutches the tray and stuffs his wallet in his back pocket. he shoves one of his fries in his mouth heading towards the table. “are you mad at me coldbutt? I’m not letting you pay for your own food on a date. what kind of gentleman would I be”. he assures with his mouth full. she crosses her arms again pretending to be annoyed at the pet name. it was cute. she just wasn't going to admit that. “heuning i’m not afraid to fight you. you know that?”. he laughs when he sits down across from her. “so aggressive”. she grabs her slushie cup. “thank you though. you’re actually nicer than I thought you’d be”. he chews on another fry. “am I? thank you”. she carefully dips a nacho chip in it’s cheese. “so. heuning kai. if you’re not the person that people portray you to be, who are you?”.  he pulls a couple of napkins out of the dispenser and wipes the excess cheese from the corner of her lips while she chewed. “that’s for gabrielle to find out isn’t it?”. he finished his sentence with a smile so bright it could've blinded her.
and yeah, i guess you could say bria was right. how dumb was gabrielle to come to college with a boyfriend. every time she had a bit of free time she was out, spending it with kai. she felt like she was in high school again, waiting for his texts and swooning over the selfies he often sent her. she thought about him in her passing time. thinking about how she gotten lucky enough to catch a guy like him. as much as she wanted to deny it she was a bit happier too. god, it felt like she was obsessing over some celebrity. she didn’t want to make love and relationships the center of her college life. she came here to study and do well after all. but she couldn’t help herself. 
she scrawls down her biology notes in the cafè with michelle in between classes. she had another class in about an hour or two and she wanted to have some downtime before then. “wait--do you know how to solve this?”. she questions, feeling completely out of focus. michelle eyes her paper and slides it toward herself and nods. she plucks up a pencil so she could show her. the bell at the top of the door chimes and in walks a couple of guys laughing and goofing off with heuning kai following behind. gabrielle’s eyes were soon fixated on his and he notices of course, and gave her a soft smile. she was studying so he didn’t want to go over and bother her. michelle follows her line of sight and scoffs. “gabby are you listening?”. gabrielle nods. “I’m listening I only looked away for one second relax”. she turns her attention back to the paper for a while prior to looking up again, seeing a group of girls surround kai.
he was good looking, it was normal for that to happen. at least that’s what gabrielle was trying to convince herself. but even if she wasn’t fond of the attention he so often got, she had no place to say anything because she wasn’t kai’s girlfriend. he wasn’t required to claim her. technically, he was still on the market. and there was nothing she could do about that.
“I think it could be a good way for you to mingle”. bria spoke in front of the mirror. gabrielle was too lost in her thoughts to listen to her though and once she finally heard the last word of bria’s sentence she jumped. “huh?”. bria turned back to look at her oddly. “girl you okay? you been out of it”. gabrielle sits up and sits her textbook on her lap. “I’m fine. what were you saying?”. “I was inviting you to a party but you seem a little too out of it to come....you sure you alright?”.
“I’m fine I’m just tired. and you know I don’t do parties anyway I already told you that”. bria swings her bag over her shoulder. “well excuse me I was just trying to invite yo-”. cutting through her sentence was a knock at the door. she went to open it and there was kai, hitting her on the head with his homework binder. “bri I need the study guide answers”. she throws a hand on her hip. “when are you going to start doing your own homework? nobody got time to be feeding you sheet after sheet”. she starts going through her drawers and kai rolls his eyes while her back was turned. kai peered over at gabby who in turn was peering over at him. “here. you’re about to make me late”. she handed him the packet and he snatches it playfully giving her a soft thank you. she gives him another eye roll and grabs her phone off her bed. “I’ll be back gabby”. she scurries past kai and out the door leaving him standing there awkwardly in the middle of the room.
“so? how was your day?”. he spoke trying to break the silence. “heuning if you’re going to be into other girls while you’re ‘interested’ in me then we can just stop this”. he exhales, already knowing that was coming. “I’m not into them. I can’t help who approaches me. plus haven’t I told you that I don’t beat around the bush? if i was into someone else I’d just tell you”. he plops down at the edge of her bed. she pushes his thigh with her foot. “whatever”. she turns her body over as if she was preparing to sleep. “aw. you’re jealous?”. he teases. she kicks his thigh a little harder. “stop it heuning”. he rubs her ankles. “my pretty girl is jealous isn’t she?”. she grasps a pillow and hits him over the head with it. he chuckles and caged her body between his arms, hovering over her. she refused to look him in the eyes though. he was much too good looking this close. he twirled his finger around the coils of her hair. “gabrielle. look at me. you know you want to”. he could see the small smile twitch at the corner of her lips. “no I don’t. get out”. he cups her cheek with his hand. “you’re so pretty”. she stifled blushes from rising through her cheeks. she finally turns over with his face just inches from hers. he looked just how she imagined him to be. utterly breathtaking. “I’m sick of you”. she lies, making kai smile. he deposits a gentle kiss on her forehead.
“no you’re not. and if you are that sucks. I wanted to take you out”. she rubbed shapes into his sharp jawline with her thumbs. “hm. where did you want to take me?”. “and why would I tell you that? you’re sick of me remember?”. he teases pretending that he was going to get off of her but she only pulled him back down begging him to stay. “no wait I was just kidding! I was kidding stop”. he laughs at her pleas and takes a glimpse in her eyes. it was moments like this where he enjoyed the silence. the silence that allowed him to admire her in every way that he could. in ways that her boyfriend hadn’t. the butterflies inside her stomach were on a rampage. he leaned in not too far but just enough for her to meet him halfway. he didn’t want to just go for it if she wasn’t onboard. but she was and she meets him with hesitance, shadowing her lips over his. he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand, making the connection of their lips painfully slow. but once they touched, magic was there. electricity sparked through her veins as his lips waltzed upon hers, dissociating her from the world and taking her to another reality. a reality where she was finally living the life she always wanted to live. not being known as the smart chubby girl and finally feeling normal. finally feeling like she deserved a love story of her dreams. whenever he broke away her world shattered. but she was always grateful for him distracting her from life's troubles for that moment.
"you ready to go? love?". he questions while still caressing her.
the burger joint was loud and rowdy but that was expected among college kids. the bar was full with drunk students watching the heated sports games and yelling obnoxiously without reason. gabrielle was grateful that was here at least with kai so it wouldn't bother her much. other than the reprehensible students she enjoyed the vibe of the place. it looked like something straight out of a 90's film with the pink neon glow lights and old license plates and polaroids hanging along the walls. "this place is nice huh?". gabrielle nods across the table from him, dipping her fry in the small cup of ketchup. "yeah it is. how do you find these places on campus?". kai shrugs, taking the tomato off his burger. "when you hang out with upperclassmen they show you the hotspots. I mean other than those drunk ass students over there this place is actually nice". gabrielle laughs. she remembers something. "so? when am I going to find out about you?". kai folds his arms on the table. "you think you still don't know me?".
"no i feel like I don't", she takes a minute to swallow her food, "I think you're too perfect. what's the catch? are you crazy or something?". kai laughs at her accusations. "no I'm not crazy. this is just me. I'm really a genuine guy and I want to start something with you. perhaps a relationship if I could". she hums even though it was kind of inaudible over the roaring music. "why me? that's what really raises a red flag in my head. I remember just a couple of weeks ago, this girl from our philosophy class told me that she was going to ask you out and she told me not to tell anyone. I guess what I'm trying to say is, why not her? why not the others". kai waits until his food was chewed and swallowed before he spoke. "what is with you and these others? I told you I don't want them. and the girl you're talking about is clara. she asks everyone out if you haven't noticed. I'm surprised she hasn't asked you out yet". gabrielle laughs a bit. "I'm sorry It's just I'm not the best looking and I know that. so in my mind me and you just don't make sense". he takes a sip of his milkshake. "gabrielle stop it. you're beautiful and I'm attracted to you. you make perfect sense". her cheeks began to flush but she ignored them of course. "well riddle me this because I'm curious. what do you want out of life heuning?". he gives a half smile and adjusts his seating. "I want love".
"love?".
"yes. why are you shocked?".
"most guys want you know, to be famous. to have lots of money. a big ass mansion somewhere. sexy super model ass wife. a pitbull or two".
"that sounds nice. but is it fulfilling though?".
"well...I'd think so".
"most guys want that because they want their ego to be stroked in every aspect of their life. there's highs and lows in life but they don't want to see the low of anything. no one wants to, really. but you have to. and when you put your ego first before everything, you become nothing. while a garage full of expensive cars and a mansion on a mountain side sounds nice, those things get old. I want something that never gets old. something that's timeless. like love". gabrielle's heart flutters and she got lost in the sea of his eyes again. "so above all else, love is what you aim for?". he nods. "i want to love someone the way I wish someone loved me". there was a swift moment of silence before he spoke again. "how about you? what do you want out of life?". she thoughtlessly shakes her head. "I don't even know how to respond to the question anymore after you said that. I'm very much questioning my morality now". he laughs. "what? did you want money and cars and a hot wife?". he jokes while dipping a fry into honey mustard. before gabrielle could answer she was interrupted by a drunk girl, approaching the table and grabbing the hem of kai's sweater before she sat beside him. "i m-missed yoooou kai", she pouts and leans in, giving him clumsy kisses along his neck. he annoyingly pushes her off. "jessica get off me. you're drunk and you need to go home". she pouts her lips again. "when are you coming back to me?". gabrielle was grateful for another guy reaching for the girl's wrists and helping her out the seat. he seemed to be her much sober friend. "come on we're leaving. leave them alone". she blew kai kisses before she staggered away.
gabrielle kept silent while taking a bite of her burger and wiping her face shortly after. kai only stared at her, sensing that she may have felt some type of way about the situation. "look, she's just an ex. I haven't been seeing her at all". she swallows. "I know, heuning. I'm not angry". that's what she said, but kai felt otherwise. he reaches his hand across the table just to intertwine his fingers with hers. "come on. let's ditch this place I got something to show you". she furrows a brow. "this late at night?". he took out his wallet and pooled out some cash to stamp on the table for their meals. "yeah. it's hilarious trust me".
with the utmost confusion gabrielle takes his lead and his word for it. the campus was rather dark at night with a light here and there but lights were often hard to come by. this is what made gabrielle the most scared while she was running through the woods in the darkened quads with kai, with him tugging on her wrist egging her on. "heuning slow down! I'm scared what if I fall?". she whispered with her heart racing and all she could hear was the leaves and twigs snapping beneath her and kai's moving feet. he chuckles. "you're not going to fall stop being a scaredy cat. we're almost there". she tried to ignore every ounce of fear she withheld until they were finally approaching a small light at the side of a building. she was still catching her breath while she was nearing what looked to be a small window low at the base of the building. kai was crouching down right beside it, waving her over and pushing his index finger to his lips to silence any further noise she made. "I'm about to fucking die". she gasps for air and kai shushes her again to point to the window.
she peaks her head in just a tad bit to see a security guard in the back of an empty library at his desk on the computer. gabrielle shrugs her shoulders. "you made me run through the fucking woods just to show me this?". kai laughs and points again. "no look. look at the computer screen". gabrielle takes another look and scrunches her eyes a bit. her heart dropped at what she saw and she immediately tucked her head into kai's chest in disgust. "ew! that's so fucking digusting". kai laughed at her reaction as quiet as he could. "this old guy watches all kinds of shit. felching porn is his favorite". she shivered at the thought. "I just don't see what's arousing about seeing someone suck semen through a straw out of someone else's ass". kai shrugs and peers through the window again. "to each their own I guess?". she fixed her lips to reply but felt something crawling along her leg and she panicked, she gripped kai's shirt. "heuning! something is on me something is fucking on me". he looked down at her body but it was hard to see any creepy crawlers due to the lack of lighting around. "calm down calm down, I don't really see anything". whatever bug it was had quickly made it's way into the palm of her hand and it felt abnormally large and furry. she freaked out, flailing her body around and in turn kicked the window, gaining the attention of the security guard who quickly closed the tab and got up hastily to go outside and chase after them. "oh shit! come on". kai shrieked pulling her upwards to her feet and tugging her through the woods once again. by now she was wiping her hand on the pants of her jeans running as fast as she could go wanting to just pass the hell out.
sweat trickled down her forehead and she struggled to breathe. after moments of running they were finally out in the open in the quads, which was a terrible mistake because their movement set the sprinklers off. she wanted to get agitated but she couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous kai looked trying to block the projectile shooting water from hitting him when his body was already drenched. "heuning stop you look like an idiot". his hand was still in hers when his feet slipped on the wet grass underneath an oak tree, causing their wet bodies to fall on top of one another. they breathlessly laughed at their efforts of trying to get up but eventually slipping due to how wet the grass and the bottom of their shoes actually were. normally gabrielle would get mad about wetting some of her favorite clothes and wetting her hair even. but for some reason she didn't care. kai sat up on his elbows once he finished laughing, taking a minute to admire her even in the messy, muddy condition that she was in. she removes her glasses trying find a dry part of her shirt to dry them with and he strings his hand through her tangled hair. "you look like a beautiful disaster". he commented with a small grin. she blushes trying not to smile. "yeah well, it's your fault anyway. had me watching an old guy beat his dick to felching porn". kai laughs and pulls her in so that her face was adjacent to his own. he brushed his thumb over the tiny water droplets on her cheeks and waited for her lips like he always had. she got lost again. swept into the sea of his eyes and the heat of the moment, clashing her lips onto his once again.
"girl look, there he goes again". her seatmates jeers in philosophy, watching kai enter the room like she always had. gabrielle continues doodling. "you say that shit everyday. give it a rest". she starts eagerly tapping gabrielle in excitement, "oh shit he's coming over here". by the time gabrielle looked up she saw kai standing in front of her, smiling, plopping his things into the seat right beside hers. it took everyone by shock, gabrielle knew it even though no one had quite said anything. but she knew they were surprised that he was sitting beside someone else today. a girl in particular. "why are you looking at me all weird?". he grins before sitting. "I wasn't expecting you to sit next to me". he dug around in his bag for his utensils and notebooks. he was wearing a black oversized zipper hoodie and a graphic band t shirt. looking just as attractive as he did any other day. "I can't sit next to you? were you saving this seat for your other lovers?". when he said that it made her mind resort to her boyfriend, whom she hasn't texted in a while. she quickly shook the thought out of her mind though and playfully punches kai's shoulder. "oh shut up. you're the only one with other lovers here". kai laughs, "see now you shut up". professor witman finally arrives and sits his things on the desk at the front of the room like he always had. he began speaking briefly about the reading from last night. kai rests his head on his hand. half paying attention to what the professor was saying and half sneaking glances at gabrielle, whose beauty he admired so much.
"girl are you and kai... a thing?". her seatmate whispers discreetly. gabrielle didn't quite know how to respond to that. she keeps a blank expression. "something like that, I guess you could say". she responds but still unsure if that was the right answer either. kai nudges her. "so? you and me tonight at my dorm? what you think?". gabrielle was still doodling along the edges of her pages. "I think it's time that I catch up on my chemistry notes once and for all. that's what I think".
"well after you catch up? take your time it's no rush. my roommate is going to be out for the night so. maybe we can watch movies?".
he raised his intonation like a kid convincing their mom to buy them candy at a candy store. it was adorable to say the least. needless to say, she was at his dorm like he asked that night with no further questions. it was kind of fun being out often to be honest. it gave her a break from her studies at least. entering kai's room though was something she never thought she'd be doing throughout her whole four years here. but here she was, plopping on his bed and gazing around at the posters and decals he had plastered on his side of the room. it was pretty neat to be honest. organized too. "you like it?". he questions while standing in front of the tv with the remote controller in his hand. he was switching through the selection of films. "yeah. to be an active student here your room is actually clean". kai chuckles with his eyes still fixated on the tv screen. "what are you trying to say? that I'm dirty?". she pushes her glasses up a little. "no but--the fact that you have time to keep it neat while doing everything you do. I expected it to be a little messier than this at least".
"you really think I'd invite a pretty girl in my room and leave it messy? you're crazy". gabrielle hums, "so what are we going to watch?". kai grins. "I should make you watch something sappy like the notebook". gabrielle scoffs. "please heuning. let's watch something funny". kai continues flipping until he finally settled on dumb and dumber. he sits the remote down and walks to the bed, grabbing the pizza boxes off his nightstand and sitting them between them. "you can eat as much as you want. I think I bought a little too much". she opens the box and laughs. "boy I'm not about to sit here and scarf down all this pizza. I have enough weight that I have to lose". kai chews into a slice. "where?". she deadpans him before gesturing towards her tummy. “right here. you don’t have to act like you don’t see it. it’s okay”.
“well, I don’t. you think every time I look at you I’m thinking about your weight?”.
“yeah. chubbier people have anxiety when it comes to our weight”.
“I think you look fine. And I’m never looking at you like that so don’t worry. eat all you want”.
“I’m going to throw this pizza at your face”.
kai chuckles at her response. “what? why? why are you so aggressive?”.
“you’re sweet. I don’t know how to respond other than being aggressive. I don’t want the moment to get too soft”.
“just kiss me”.
“heuning, that’s a soft response”.
“I know I just want a kiss from you”. he admits, she thought it was kind of cute the way he asked. “maybe when we’re finished eating”. kai held her to that though and made sure she cuddled with him as soon as they were finished just so he could get the promised kisses. his chest was comfy and warm, and she always felt safe in his grip.
she thought for a moment. “heuning?”.
“hm?”. he hummed with his eyes still fixed on the tv screen. she toys with his hoodie strings. “give me three confessions about yourself. go”. he chuckles but kindly obliged. “okay well 1. I hate math. 2. I have a horrible ‘losing my virginity story’ and 3. I think I’m actually a very lonely person”. gabrielle laughs and perched her head up just to look at him. “okay the first one I understand. but you’re lonely and your first time didn’t go good?”.
“yeah. I mean I have friends and everything but. I just feel like I’m not fully connected with them sometimes. feel like we’re all just there to entertain each other. and as for my first time, well. that shit was a nightmare”.
“I feel you. I know the feeling. It kind of feels like you’re just floating. but I guess that comes with growing up. you just have to find your people. don’t think that I’m not going to ask you to share your story though. I’m curious”.
kai laughs. “you’re right I guess I do have to find my people. so far, I think you’re my person”.
“do you mean that or are you just saying that to distract me from telling me the story?”.
“no I’m serious”.
“well I think you’re my person too heuning”.
kai scoffs, “pft. heuning”.
“hey you said I can call you that. and tell me the story please”. kai playfully groans. “no it’s too embarrassing”.
“it can’t be that bad”.
“how about this? if you tell me yours I’ll tell you mine?”. she reaches up to cup his cheek. “how am I going to tell you mine when I don’t have one?”. kai breathes and brushes his thumb over the back of her hand. “you’re precious gabrielle”. she hums while swimming in his eyes again. “why? because I’m a virgin?”.
“no. you’re just pure. I think it’s precious. don’t let anyone pressure you into doing it alright? It’s okay to wait”. gabrielle nods in a daze. “everyone always says that shit. wait until you’ve found the right person. but how would you even know whose the right person. what if you do it and then things don’t work out with them and then you find the right person later on in life”. kai thinks for a moment. “I think it’ll just happen without thought”. gabrielle chuckles. “don’t be cheesy”. he smiles. “I’m not being cheesy I’m just saying. you’re always being mean to me”.
“aw? are you getting sensitive?”. she playfully mocked like kai always did. “no I’m not I’m just saying”. she walks her fingers up his chest teasingly. “my heuning is sensitive for me isn’t he?”. Kai looked rather cute when he was blushing. a red hue splotched around his cheeks. “I’m not sensitive”. she perks her lips up to peck him on the cheeks which he greatly appreciated since he loved her kisses dearly. they made his heart flutter. “kiss me again”. he begged.
“and just where the hell have you been?”. Bria asked finally seeing gabrielle come into their room after her morning shower. “I’ve been here. you the one that’s been going out. that’s why you don’t see me”. Bria gives her the best ‘yeah right’ grin. she continues tidying up her side of the room. “well since you don’t be doing anything diamond is having people over at her suite again. same crowd. you should come through this time”. gabrielle looks in her wardrobe to find some clothes. she felt kind of weary. “honestly I’m beat. I need to nap or something before I do anything else. I don’t know if I can go”. wait. if it was the same crowd that meant kai was going to be there. she quickly changed her mind. “I’ll try to make it though”. Bria tosses one of her dresses in her hampers. “good. I’m glad you’re being more open to going out”. well she really wasn’t. just more open to going wherever kai was. when she arrived he was sitting on the couch in the living room conversing with a few of his friends. everyone was sporadic as usual, either in the kitchen drinking, in the living room, playing games somewhere, or upstairs. kai was more than happy to see her especially when she plopped down on the couch right beside him.
Bria eyed the way he smiled at her and she grinned. “oop don’t get yourself caught up kai! she has a boyfriend you know”. she blurts while making her way upstairs. gabrielle’s heart dropped and her eyes widened. she was lucky no one else in the room knew what was going on so they continued with their festivities. but kai’s smile disappeared. “what is she talking about?”. she tried to wave it off. “that’s just bria. you know she be saying anything”. the cold look that he gave her right after that line made her world stop. “gabrielle? what is she talking about?”. she swallows before responding. she knew she had to tell the truth or things would be much worse. “I kind of.. have a boyfriend heuning but -“.
“kind of have a boyfriend? what the hell does kind of have a boyfriend mean? how long have you had a boyfriend?”. kai looked sweet when he was smiling but god, when he’s angry he’s lethal. his sharp stare could split her in two. “we’ve been dating since high school”. he clenched his jaw. “so you’ve had a boyfriend this whole entire time? and you didn’t bother telling me? so what were you trying to play me or something?”. she quickly grew nervous. “no it isn’t like that I was going to break up with him I swear”. she tried to explain herself but he was already getting up, making his way out of the house with a slamming door.
good. she felt like complete shit. this is exactly what she needed. she didn't mean for it to all happen like this. she was really going to break up with him but it was hard doing that to someone you've been in a relationship with for years. the party for gabrielle was essentially ruined. she didn't even want to be there anymore. well, she didn't really want to be anywhere anymore. kai hadn't responded to her texts and calls for days on end. even when she apologized. and even when she lied and said she broke up with her boyfriend. nothing worked. seeing him in the quads was quite different now, he didn't make eye contact with her even when she tried to make it with him. instead he continued talking to his friends, continuing on whatever conversations he was having. while they were in the library michelle could sense that gabrielle was a little more off than usual. she finally laid her pencil down and addressed her. "alright gabby. what's the matter?". gabrielle continued writing with her attention on her paper. "nothing I'm fine".
"oh please. you've been more down than usual lately. what happened? what did kai do?".
"he didn't do anything. it's my fault".
"your fault? what did you do?".
"he found out I had a boyfriend".
"gabby? you didn't tell him that?".
"it's not that easy michelle. I wasn't expecting all of this shit to happen. hell, I wasn't even expecting kai to even ask me out".
"you've been hanging with kai for weeks now. you don't think you had time to tell him in between any of those times?".
she deadpans her. "how do you have time to tell someone that? in the middle of dates you think I'm just like hey I really like hanging with you and I'm starting to like you but I have a boyfriend".
"you could've said something. you have his number right? you could've made it easier on yourself and said it through a text message or something".
"but I was planning on breaking up with him. i swear I was".
"either way you should've told him".
gabrielle sighs. shit. she should've. michelle was right. but how would the timing ever be right to tell someone that? her mind was swarming with ideas for how she could resolve everything. she waited patiently after philosophy class. even though her heart was practically pounding through her eardrums she exhaled before she approached him down the hallway. for the first time he didn't smile when he saw her. he looked at her as if she was every other girl that approached her.
"what do you want gabrielle?".
"heuning. I'm sorry. that was wrong of me to just continue on with this without telling you. i wasn't trying to be two timing I just didn't know how I was going to do it. when I'm with you I don't think about him, i forget about him".
"I'm glad then. this time away is probably finally getting you to remember him again?". he spoke calmly while walking away, out of the doors of the building and to the parking lot where his car was. gabrielle followed.
"it's not like that. why the hell would I try to play you? after all you've confided in me, why would I play with your feelings like that?".
"why don't you ask yourself that question?". he pulled open his car door.
"you're acting stupid as shit right now. for real. you should basically know me by now. I would never intentionally do something like that to you".
"why would you go on a date with me if you knew you had a boyfriend? huh? when I first asked you, you knew full well you were with someone. all of this could've been avoided if you told me the truth".
"go on a date?". a familiar voice repeated behind her. she quickly turned her head to see her boyfriend, noah.
"noah what are you doing here?".
"I drove up here thinking that since it's been a while, I should take you out or spend some time with you. I didn't think you'd be up here seeing somebody else".
"noah it's not like that I swear to god. we have to talk".
"this is what you wanted to happen right gabrielle? you didn't want to break up with him and you didn't want to tell me so you got what was coming to you. go deal with that. I have problems of my own to deal with". and with that kai got in his car, pulling off and driving away before gabrielle could say anything else. she shamefully turned back to noah who looked so disappointed that it actually broke her heart.
"you promised me that even while you were away your love wouldn't stop for me. and then you go do this shit. I'm done gabrielle".
"my love didn't stop for you".
"you don't do that to people you claim you love. I hope you're enjoying it here". she stretched her arm to grab his wrists but he shrugged her off and walked back to his car, leaving her feeling absolutely stupid by herself. her face felt extremely hot on her way back to her dorm and she didn't want to look up because she already knew her eyes were rimming with tears.
"girl? you alright? what's wrong?". upon entry bria could already sense that someone was off. and since gabrielle was in the comfort of her room now she figured she might as well let her tears fall. "you remember that night you told kai that I had a boyfriend?". bria nods before a lightbulb went off in her head. she covers her mouth. "gabby. don't tell me he didn't know. ya'll was talking?".
"yes. we've been hanging out for a while now and we've been into each other. I didn't tell him about noah. so when you said that it pissed him off. he didn't talk to me for days and then finally today when I confronted him, noah decides to show up and overhear us. he broke up with me. and now kai wants nothing to do with me because he thinks I was two timing him".
out of guilt bria pulls her roommate in for a hug. "I swear I didn't know I'm sorry that's my bad. why didn't you tell me you and kai was talking? you know I joke around a lot. I wouldn't have said shit if he didn't know".
"I was scared to tell you because I knew you would tease me about it and to be honest I was just ashamed of the fact that you were right. I shouldn't have came to college with a boyfriend if I've never really been on the dating scene before. when kai asked me out I didn't think about any of that shit".
"girl. this is a mess and is one of the reasons why I don't deal with men and their attitudes. and if it makes you feel any better I could understand why you didn't think about noah when kai asked you out. that boy is fine as hell".
gabrielle playfully punched her in the arm with a small laugh. "shut up bria. I know and I feel bad. like why would I play kai? who in their right mind would play kai?".
bria curls her glossed lips into a small smirk. "aw? you're in love with kai? aren't you?".
gabrielle ignores her to keep from blushing. " this is not the time. I just got broken up with".
bria laughs and tugs on gabby's cheeks. "aw my gabby is in love! I'm so mad that you didn't tell me about this. how did this all even happen?".
"I'd tell you if I wasn't in shambles. he probably doesn't even want to talk to me anymore".
"girl bye. I don't date men anymore but trust me when I did, one thing I learned is that if they like you they'll never leave you alone. that boy is just a little mad now. he's not going to stay mad forever".
gabrielle moves a pillow to the other side of her bed. "yeah, well. until then I'm just going to go to sleep. I need a nap after this shit".
"aw. well I'm going to get some food later. you want me to bring you back anything?".
gabrielle shakes her head no while clutching a pillow, ready to drift off. she wasn't keeping track of how long she slept but she just wanted to sleep long enough to where she could forget about everything. or at least to where everything didn't hurt as much. when she woke up her forehead was clammy and her room was dark, not a sign of bria anywhere. she figured she stayed over at diamond's. she turns the lamp on beside her bed and was greeted by a food tray container sitting on her nightstand. she didn't know what was in it but she was grateful for bria. maybe she wasn't as obnoxious as gabrielle made her seem.
she couldn't eat though, not right now at least. she couldn't stop thinking about what happened earlier which kind of pissed her off since she thought sleep could lessen the blow. but her heart ached just as much as it did when she was awake. she thought about what bria said. she's right. if kai liked her then there was no way he could stay angry. with that being said gabrielle discarded every bit of fear she had and threw on more comfortable clothes and made her way to his dorm. it was late so she wasn't expecting him to answer but she hoped he would. she knocked softly and her heart pounded with each knock. she didn't know what he would do or even say if he saw her.
to her surprise there was light shuffling behind the door before it opened, revealing kai in an oversized grey hoodie and messy hair. his face was flushed and he looked as though he were crying too. but she didn't want to make any assumptions. he folded his arms, not expecting to see her at his door at all. "what? what do you want?".
"I know you've probably heard this one thousand times from me but heuning I'm sorry. honestly. what I did was shitty. I should've told you. I only didn't because like I said, when I'm with you I don't think about noah, or anyone else for that matter. when I first moved into this school me and noah made a promise that even while I was away we'd stay together. so when I got here i had no expectations of being interested in someone else. but you make me feel things I've never felt before and I didn't know how I was going to tell him that I fell in love with someone else. I'm in love with you. and I'll admit that". she croaked. she didn't want to cry. no-- she was going to try and stay strong. kai starts swiping her tears away with his thumbs.
"don't cry gabrielle. i wasn't doing any of that to hurt you but I was angry because I thought you were trying to hurt me", he presses a kiss into her forehead. "I'm in love with you too". he pulls her in for a warm hug. "cmon. I have a place where we can go to blow off all of this".
and when he said that gabrielle didn’t think he meant the empty recreation center where the swimming pool and gyms were. once he brought her in and shredded his shirt he dived in the deep end in the shorts he already had on, then swam to the shallow end where gabrielle was standing there poolside with her arms folded, grinning at him. he shook his wet hair and combed it back with his fingers. the pool room was warm and she felt comfort in the fact that it was just them two in there.
“heuning are we even supposed to be here?”.
“why would they leave the door open if we couldn’t? I come here all the time. mainly at night where I can be alone. just to clear my head sometimes. you should come in with me”.
“I’m wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. I’m not prepared to get in. plus I can’t even swim. don’t worry though I’ll just watch you from the pool chairs”.
“just wear my shirt. It’s not scary I promise. plus this water is warm”. gabrielle stood for a moment in thought. he could tell she was still trying to decide. “please? I’ll teach you”.
she swipes his shirt off the ground and playfully rolls her eyes. “fine heuning. fine. turn around”. he smiled at that and turned his body, waiting for her to give him the signal that she was done changing. once she had though he marveled over her features as soon as he turned back around. he hated the fact that she was self conscious about her body. especially when he loved every part of her, and every part of cellulite and series of stretch marks that came with it. his oversized shirt dangled just above her knees and she stood there shyly.
“why are you staring at me like that?”.
“because you’re beautiful”. he walked to the pool stairs and held his hand out for her to grab. she did so and felt her body shudder a little at the sudden contact with water. it was easy to get used to since it was fairly warm. they were already at four feet but she was already getting anxiety thinking about sinking underneath the water.
“we can stay here if you want. we don’t have to go to the deep end”. kai informed leaning back, letting himself float on top of the water. “how do you do that?”.
“what? float? just lay back and relax”.
gabrielle thought about it and positioned her body to do it but she quickly got frightened feeling her head almost sink into the water. kai clutched her body just in time. he was holding her bridal style just at the brim of the water.
“relax. don’t think about anything”.
“I’ll try not to think about how a cute boy is holding me right now”.
“and while I’m holding you I’ll try not think about how a cute girl is swimming in my shirt”.
“other than the fact that it’s clinging to my body right now it’s kind of comfy. I think I’ll keep it”.
“go ahead. there’s plenty more where that came from”.
“sounds like I need to go shopping in your closet?”.
“you’d probably wear my clothes better than me”. kai smiles. “look. you’re doing it and I’m barely touching you”. her eyes widened with excitement.
“wait I’m doing it? Oh my god I’m floating!”. he laughs. “calm down before you sink. you’re supposed to stay relaxed remember?”.
"I'm relaxed I'm just excited!". her voice bellowed off the pool room walls and soon she began to quickly submerge in the water with her frequent movements. she hadn't sunk that deep, maybe a couple of inches or two but water still filled her nose and lungs when she breathed it all in. kai panicked and lifted her out the water and threw her over his shoulder, he walked to sit her on the pool ledge so she could take a break from the water. she was coughing and her nose burned a shit ton, she mentally vowed to never do it again. kai pats her back and consoles her, wondering how everything even happened so fast. "you have to be careful baby I told you to relax". he consoles. yeah, she was still trying to get her eyes to focus on earthly things but her ears were open enough to hear the pet name. she got butterflies when she was finally feeling well enough to look down into his eyes.
"what?".
she shook her head, implying that it was nothing. "you called me baby".
"yeah. because you're my baby".
she blushed. "I am? without permission? you didn't even ask me".
he gives her a gentle smile, taking her hand and hugging her torso from the middle of her legs. "gabrielle? do you want to be my baby?".
"yes. yes I'd love that".
he smiles again, the smile that she loved. there wasn't a delay in the kiss that he gave her, it was swift and smooth and he held her close enough to where the world around her blurred and suddenly there was no noise. just the beating of their hearts together, hopelessly, cynically in love.
after swimming she didn't want to leave him. maybe she found herself a bit attached but she didn't care and neither did he.
"I know you're devising a plan to steal my hoodies so. I might as well donate some to you while you're here". gabrielle shuts the door behind her looking over at the vacant bed across from his. "where's your roommate?". kai digs around his closet. "he's probably at some party or spending the night somewhere". he turns and throws a hoodie at her chest and she catches it promptly. she turned to the mirror and pulled it over her head to see how it would fit. firstly, it smelled just like heuning so she was already starting to love it even if it fit a little big. she turned to the side and posed so she could see different angles of herself as she did with every new article of clothing she had. she didn't notice kai lowkey watching from the side in admiration and amusement. she was adorable in his clothes.
her heart dropped when he appeared behind her. she was too busy thinking about the things she could wear with the hoodie she completely forgot that she was even in his room. he smiles sweetly at her through the mirror. "you look so cute". it was hard for gabrielle to keep trying to hide her reddening cheeks so this time she embraced it. she embraced him. she embraced the fact that no matter what she thought she looked like, kai would always see her differently. she embraced the way he embraced her. "thank you heuning". she mutters, meeting his stare. it wasn't a creepy stare but rather wholesome, he saw paradise in her eyes even if it was through a reflective piece of glass. for the first time in his life he felt something. he felt a connection. and she felt his hands encompassing her waist and his lips sprinkling soft, heedful kisses along the expanse of her neck. gabrielle drew in a sharp breath, observing it all through the mirror ahead. she reaches her hand up and allowed it to entangle in the damp curly strands of his hair. her head tilts back a bit further, giving him the opportunity to kiss the places that he abandoned. her heart was pounding but she no longer cared. the butterflies in her stomach was wrecking her much harder. she tilted her head back enough for him to look into her eyes again before swooping in for a delicate kiss that rippled fireworks through their veins. they were stuck like that for a while, enveloping in each other's warmth while their lips moved en masse. it was was one foot after the other until they fell onto the bed, giving themselves to the ardent love that they were yearning for.
when gabrielle awoke the next morning she faintly remembered falling asleep on kai’s chest but it was hard to remember much of anything with the yelling that was ringing through her ears. her eyes flickered open to see that she wasn’t cuddled with Kai anymore but instead gripping a pillow, and kai was at the door arguing with some girl whom she couldn’t see.
“can you quiet down? you’re being too loud”. kai exclaimed, wanting to just shut the door on Jessica’s face.
“no! no I’m not lowering my fucking tone for what?! you need to hear me. shit everyone does. you’ve taken this too far! you need to tell her already!”.
at the sound of her words gabrielle leaned up a bit rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “tell me what? heuning? what’s going on what is she talking about?”.
when kai looked back at her a guilty expression was drawn across his face. he looked as if he wanted to say something, he just didn’t know how. “It’s nothing gabrielle”. Jessica pushes his room door open and storms past him, approaching the bed where gabrielle was. “Jessica stop”. kai warned. but she ignored him and gave gabrielle an angry gaze anyway.
“kai never liked you. he never wanted to date you or any of that shit. since you rejected him the first time he made a bet with his friends that he could get you to fall in love with him and then sleep with you. all this shit is a lie”.
gabrielle clutched the blankets with her stomach churning and hands growing clammy. the walls around her seemed as if they were closing in and there was a large lump in her throat. she darts her eyes over at kai who was still wearing the same guilty expression from earlier. “heuning? what the fuck is she talking about? is it true?”.
“gabrielle”.
“tell me the fucking truth heuning kai”.
he swallows, just wanting to disappear. “it was true at first but—“.
before he could continue she felt sick to her stomach. she was upset beyond measure and instead of staying and listening to another lie she throws on her shoes and grabs her clothes, making her way out of the residence hall and into the quads. such a bright warm day contrasted the way she was feeling. her body was on fire and she didn’t know if whether she wanted to cry or go completely numb. she knew she probably looked stupid staggering through the crowded quad full of students in the midst of their Saturday festivities. gabrielle couldn’t even make it fully out the quad until she felt lightheaded and fell to her knees, puking her feelings onto the blades of grass. she couldn’t believe him. she couldn’t believe he would do something like that to her.
she hadn’t known that he followed her, stopping at a distance once he saw her throwing up. “gabrielle none of that shit is true anymore. here let me help you”. he reached his hand out but she spoke quickly with her stomach heaving. “don’t you fucking touch me heuning kai”. she wipes her mouth and dizzily stands to her feet, giving him the deadliest stare he ever saw in his life. fear and guilt washed over him. “gabrielle you have to believe me”. she draws a hand back and gifts him a stinging slap across his face. one so loud that it drew the attention of everyone surrounding them. kai was stunned, shocked even. he held his cheek in pain.
“that was such an asshole move I should’ve known. I was told to stay away from you and that you’re nothing but trouble but I decided to give you a chance because I thought that’s all that you probably needed. a chance to show someone who you really are but now I fucking know who you are. a lying piece of shit who doesn’t give a damn about anyone but himself”.
“gabrielle—“. he tries to grab her wrist but she swiftly pulls away. “I fucking gave myself to you. that’s something I vowed to do only when I felt like the timing was just right and you took advantage of that didn’t you? you got a kick out of knowing that I was a virgin freshman didn’t you? you’re such a bitch it isn’t even funny”.
“no you didn’t let me finish it was true at first I’ll admit that. I’ll admit I’m an asshole for even devising a plan like that but all of that changed once I met you gabrielle. I fucking forgot about the plan. I meant everything I’ve ever said to you. I want you and I’m so in love with you I can’t even put it into words. please. you have to believe me. I’m sorry”.
she shook her head in annoyance, unable to even withstand the sight of his face.
“fuck you, heuning kai”. she made those words her last before she turned on her heels to cut through the crowd, vowing to never speak to him ever again.
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Text
Random Wanda Vision Thoughts--
Episode 1: I am an emotional bitch crying at Wanda and Vision saying “i do” at the end of episode 1, like can these babies please catch a break? they just want to be happy. 
Also Agnes and the 70′s show mom are my favorite wtf. 
STARK TOASTERS I SEE YOU. 
WHO IS WATCHING THEM WTF 
Episode 2: 
Dottie should die, she seems like the type who needs gently run over by a bus
WHO IS IN THE RADIO
Elizabeth Olsen is so cute in this, absolutely adorable 
IS THAT DAVID SCHWIMMER PLAYING THE PIANO
Vision is drunk from getting gum in his gears, I’m actually cackling right now. 
Tiny bit culty with the “for the children” thing, huh? Yikes
BABY BUMP! 
Some creepo decides to get in on their world and Wanda literally went “i think the fuck not, let’s try this again and this time in technicolor” 
is that the cop who asked out Ant Man on the radio?
The difference in “sitcom” Wanda who is happy in her world and “real life” Wanda when she realizes something isn’t right is honestly astonishing and Grade A Face Acting. See what happens when they let women do more on screen then walk around in tight clothes with full lips parted in a sexy pout? 
Episode 3: 
Seventies Vision’s hair is ENDING ME, I can’t even deal with that. 
IT HAS TO BE DAVID SCHWIMMER except he looks like “russ” from friends instead of “ross” 
Poor Vision is not handling impending fatherhood well 
COMIC BOOK NAME DROP BILLY AND TOMMY I LOVE IT 
Poor pregnancy fritzing Wanda. DID WANDA JUST GLITCH A TIME ERASE AND NOT MEAN TO? Listen, I did not expect to love them as a couple this much. EW HER WATER BROKE OMG 
A STORK 
Oh Wanda, poor baby she’s so afraid, I write way too much fan fiction about how all these characters are secretly terrified to go through life alone to be okay with this. 
Why did I start crying immediately when the babies were born, I’m too emotional for this. She is so beautiful and Vision is so soft meeting his son as himself, oh my gosh. THE TWIN SCREAMS while the other twin comes omg this is Grade A Sitcom bullshit.��
The doctor knows something is Up and so do Herb and Agnes. *don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious*
...have we actually seen Ralph and I’m just blanking on it? WHY DON’T THEY LIKE GERALDINE? WHO IS SHE?
Oh no i’m crying again over pietro and the sokovian lullaby. Don’t let me watch this while I’m PMSing wtf this is torture. GERALDINE KNOWS ABOUT ULTRON
OH SHIT WANDA IS PISSED LOOK AT THAT DANGEROUS LADY. that head tilt is fucking lethal. 
I love agnes oh man. I know because of spoilers she’s something of a bad guy? but I love her
WHAT HAPPENED TO GERALDINE OMG DID WANDA KILL HER
Oh no, not dead. Just kicked tf out of the bubble. I just realized the symbol is for Sword. Is this some sort of experiment to keep Wanda contained post Endgame? I should have read more spoilers, I’m fucking confused. 
Episode 4: OH HOLY SHIT IT’S MONICA RAMBEAU AND IT’S POST EG SNAP OH MY GOSH SHE HAS NO IDEA SHES BEEN GONE FOR FIVE YEARS MY HEART IS BREAKING MY HEART IS BREAKING I CAN’T TAKE IT 
It IS the cop that hit on Ant Man! WHAT DO THEY MEAN WESTVIEW DOESN’T EXIST 
Oh it’s Darcy! Damn straight it’s Dr. Lewis. How very shocking, a woman was the one to show a room full of Ridiculous Men what’s going on?
ZOMBIE VISION OH MY GOD “no we can’t” oh man she is starting to CRACK and Vision knows something is wrong OH NO 
At this point I should point out that I am 1000% surprised at the quality of the show and 1000% pleasantly surprised by how much I’m enjoying it. The bar for Wanda’s character development was literally subterranean, but this is has been frankly sort of amazing?? 
Episode 5
Agnes asking about “taking it from the top” WHAT. I love so much the way the characters “break character” it’s so interesting and well done! WHY IS WANDA LYING TO VISION. 
WHERE IS RALPH
oh my god the babies are children now?? why isn’t agnes noticing?? THEY’RE SO CUTE I COULD CRY ALL OVER AGAIN 
I do not. trust. hayward. Why is he asking about Wandas nickname? Monica knows whats up-- she knows Wanda is grieving and hurting. 
THE VISIONS CORPSE WHAT? WHAT IS WANDA DOING OH MY GOD SHE STOLE VISION. Vision has a living will? Don’t you have to be human for that? Are you telling me the woman that loved Vision would straight up ignore his wish to not be turned into a weapon after his death? I have a hard time with this. 
Oh no Vision is starting to worry me. He’s onto Agnes, he’s noticing Wanda getting careless...the boys are adorable though. Good on Agnes for not even flinching. 
DAMN RIGHT WANDA COULD HAVE TAKEN OUT THANOS LETS HAVE SOME RESPECT PEOPLE. Also, why is Monica being sketchy about Captain Marvel? 
EMAIL ALERT EMAIL ALERT “none of it is real.” oh my god what is happening?!?!
“Is this yours?” OH MY GOD. “This will be your only warning” she is so unafraid and I love her for it. I love her accent coming back when she breaks characters LOOK AT HER TURNING ALL THOSE MEN AROUND I LOVE HER. 
“Fix the dead” oh my god the shock on her face. The absolute irony of her trying to tell her boys there’s rules when she’s writing the playbook as she goes. Oh my god. “Can’t I?” Jesus, then the credits start rolling because she wants the episode to be over but Vision won’t let her OH MY GOD. My heart is breaking
WHAT DOES IT MEAN SHE DOESN’T KNOW 
SHE RECAST PIETRO
Episode 6
OOOOH look at the classic costumes! Pietro is slaying me. I mean, it’s the wrong pietro but its still very funny. The way Vision calls her out and then plays it off is.... spooky. She is fully aware thats not her brother. “Be good.” holy shit. 
Look at me not liking Hayward again. “which one is the sassy best friend” i feel like that’s....racist. “don’t use the last five years as an excuse to be a coward” DRAG HIM SIS 
Listen Uncle Pietro being a little shit head is my favorite. I use the OG Pietro in my fics but this one is hilarious. 
Vision lied about being on duty? Yikes. The one house where people are stuck in a loop? YIKES. Its crazy how everyone is starting to be super aware of Wanda pulling the strings--MAGIC CHILD OMG. 
Whats past ellis avenue? Is that the limit of Wanda’s powers? I don’t super understand how Vision has his powers if he’s technically dead. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE AVENGERS ARE she really just gave him enough life to exist just barely. Agnes knows he’s dead so she wasn’t snapped??
Agnes’s witchy laugh while dressed like a witch is legit awesome. We call that FOREEEEEEEEESHADOWING! Oh and there’s Ellis Ave. Got it. 
Monica’s blood is changed?? Idk how to feel about Black Character willing to die for White Charaxter? I mean I know Wanda should be Jewish but still. Uncomfortably close to icky tropes but maybe I’m reading too far into it.
YIKES where was she hiding the kids till now? How’d she do all this? “I’m not a stranger or your husband” YIKES.
OH MY GOD DEAD PIETRO
OH MY GOD VISION STAY IN THE BUBBLE SOMEONE SAVE HIM SAVE HIM OMG BILLY CAN HEAR HIS DADDY DYING SAVE HIM
“The people need help” oh Vision you are truly Worthy
She literally expanded her world to save him omg
DARCY WHERED YOU GO geez look at power of this girls mind it’s about damn time we got a glimpse at just how intense her powers are
Season 7
Ok is this like a reality show? Oh man she is GLITCHING.
Oh no it’s just Wanda not Wanda vision cos she feels alone? So sad. She really is losing it isn’t she and not in a “lol how awkward” sortnof way but in that truthful hard to watch way that so many of us feel when we’re at the breaking point
“I actually did bite a kid once” I literally ugly laughed right there
I KNEW I COULDNT TRUST HAYWOOD
It’s so nice to see Darcy used in a real way. Her character was totally wasted in Thor
The way Wandas little interviews get more and more sad :(
Uhhh what does that mean Agnes is quiet on the inside? Again with the Ralph thing. I’m starting to think there’s no Ralph at all??
LOOK AT THIS GIRL WITH HER SPACE ROVER . She’s got that same look of determination her mama had. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER WHY ARE HER EYES BLUE
“....soooo Wanda killed me?” I’m ugly laughing again and I shouldn’t be but the comedic delivery is excellent. The whole “office” vibe with the cameras is making an otherwise devastating episode fairly funny
LOOK AT THIS GIRL STANDING UP TO WANDA we love a sharp cheekbones beauty
“Maybe I already am” I mean, I would have loved to hear that post Ultron when for some reason everyone blamed Tony for everything?? But hearing it now is just horrifying and I hate it
Oh vision deciding to go get to his wife is beautiful.
WHERE ARE THE BABIES WHERE ARE THE BOYS OH MY GOD IM FREAKING OUT WHAT BASEMENT THATS NEVER GOOD
Uh hey what the fuck is up with Agness creepy basement of horrors??
AGATHA HARKNESS OH MY GOD
This song is a BOP wtf she deserves an Emmy for this shit
Snoopers gonna snoop what?
Episode 8
Of course it’s Salem, where else would a witch story start
“They simply bent to my power” What a queen
lmaoooo THAT ACCENT COMES AND GOES Agatha really said what we’ve all been thinking
Wait so Wandas power drew Agatha in? I thought maybe Agatha trapped her here?? SHE DOESNT KNOW WHAT WANDA IS
THE BABIES
Oh ouch this trip down memory lane is gonna hurt me isn’t it?
Oh no her mama I’m dying inside send help. The TV sitcoms. Oh my god is this her last memory before her parents died. HELP ME I CANT WATCH THIS
Oh my god, she had powers when she was little?? SHES NOT AN EXPERIMENT???
Listen I generally think telling a story retroactively is lazy writing? Just give us a well developed story the first time?? But this is BRUTAL and brutally well done.
SHE SAW HERSELF IN THE MIND STONE???
Would it have been so difficult for them to give us even a PEEK at this version of wanda vision in CACW? Marvel has the worst habit of just popping up like “oh hey these two love each other all the sudden with no real reason for it” but this is wonderful. So much character development.
Oh listen to this woman begging to be able to bury her husband omg. WAIT SO SHE DIDNT BREAK IN AND TAKE HIM?? WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO VISION?? DID HE PUSH HER INTO THIS PSYCHOTIC BREAK?? HE TOTALLY PLAYED HER INTO RECREATING VISION SHE JUST WANTED CLOSURE. He literally showed her visions dismembered corpse and said “say goodbye” I will kill this dude wtf
“I can’t feel you” guys I have to pause this so I can cry for a minute
“I can’t feel you” and then she leaves. Totally alone in the world. My heart is an empty husk.
Why the house though? Why west view?
OH FUCK ME UP ARE YOU KIDDING ME VISION WAS GOING TO BUILD THEM A HOUSE I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE
It’s not even real vision? Just the projection of her broken heart? “Welcome home” I am broken. Physically broken.
CHAOS MAGIC
SCARLET WITCH
I CANNOT
OH MY GOD WHITE VISION??? NO NO NO
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vivithefolle · 3 years
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I'm a bit confused. You said in one post that you thoroughly dislike Hermione and that you had no respect for her at all. Yet ... you like Romione? idk, it seems contradictory tbh. I like when Romione shippers acknowledge her flaws and messed up moments but when someone that dislike and even hate her character that much ships Romione and I see them posting about them and calling them "cute" just seems weird
I’ll share with you my whole thought process so you can understand where I’m coming from:
Itty-bitty Vivi who read Harry Potter for the first time (at 13/14, so not so itty-bitty I guess, oops): Woaaah Hermione and Ron yaay!!! They're awesome I love them! They're my OTP always and forever!! Best thing to happen in Harry Potter!! JKR is a genius!
Slightly less itty-bitty Vivi discovering the Harry Potter fandom online (thankfully years after the ship wars, else I probably wouldn't have survived): Why is there so much hate towards Ron? And why are people so opposed to Romione?? It was meant to be since the first book! Or, okay, the second book is when I realized it was gonna happen, but still! Oh well, here is a fic where Hermione berates Ron for everything and he is the only one actually working for their relationship. Cool, more Romione!
Even less itty-bitty Vivi starting her own Tumblr and going around, adding her grain of salt to debates and talking about stuff: Yeah! Ron is great! He's done bad things of course but Hermione has done her fair share of bad things too! Actually, now that I'm rereading the books, I'm reminded of this person I used to call a friend, who was quite smart and cultured but would often be very harsh to me because they claimed it was “for your own good" and “because I'm more mature than you"… I still wanted to be around them, because they were just so smart and passionate, but we often rowed and eventually they really just went too far and tried to make ME out to be the bad guy and most people believed them because they had a reputation as someone cool and logical while I was known for being emotional… wait, what the fuck, that's… that's exactly what happens in the fandom with Ron and Hermione! What the fuck, was I Ron? Admired their intelligence, praised and supported them, fell in love even but was met with scorn and open disdain?!… no, no, come on. Hermione wasn't that bad.
Vivi rereading Half-Blood Prince (and no, this wasn't about the canaries, but about what Hermione was doing after): Oh my god she was that bad.
Vivi as she ponders alternately: Wait, what about JK Rowling? What does she think about all that? What was her intention, what did she want to accomplish with the characters? I know books belong to their readers but if I want as objective an analysis as possible I must try to understand her thought process while she wrote.
Vivi learning about a staple of British literature called “literary alchemy”: The quarreling couple!! Sulfur and Mercury, the Red King and the White Queen, who must marry for the story to end happily!! And their union is represented by… a rose!! Oh my god, that is brilliant, that is so cool! Romione was ALWAYS going to happen, I knew it! Ha!
Vivi discovering the “[Ron] needed to make himself worthy of Hermione” quote: Wha… but… what? Worthy? As if Hermione was some sort of precious trophy or whatever? What the hell? Wait, Ron had to make himself worthy of her but Hermione didn't have to make herself worthy of him? Is it because Ron is the boy or some shit like that??
Vivi going through JK Rowling's interviews and finding sexism and double-standards galore: Yep, it's because he's the boy. And that bit about Hermione being based off herself when she was younger… ouch. And to top it off the scriptwriter pretty much worshipped Hermione…
Vivi rereading the books again: Is it just me, or does Ron hardly ever get any praise or acknowledgement from the adult characters? Meanwhile Harry and Hermione get stuff like “as good as Charlie Weasley" or “brightest witch of her age"! And, damn, I used to side with Hermione because I love cats, but she was completely awful in POA! She apologized but then the plot made her out to be right even then?? And I always thought her Yule Ball entrance was kinda over-the-top, but damn if that's not compensating for something! Also what the hell, I get that Harry is suffering and all but will someone PLEASE pay attention to the fact that Ron is being bullied BY A FOURTH OF THE STUDENT BODY AND NOBODY SEEMS EVEN REMOTELY CONCERNED????? Also what the hell is wrong with the sixth book, I never liked it much but it's like it's trying to make every character look bad, wtf?? And, and, holy shit I never noticed but Ron was asking legit questions during the Horcrux Hunt debate but Harry kept deflecting or mocking him but it's still Ron who had to apologize in the end??? And I've read a whole post about how Hermione punching Ron is the appropriate reaction for a very small child and not a supposedly “mature" character, and that Harry had to SHIELD RON FROM HER, oh my god?? It's… oh my god, what the fuck is wrong with JK Rowling?
Vivi, in denial: Well, Harry Potter is decidedly not a romance. It's about love, but romantic love is quite far down the priority list when it comes to it. JKR has herself confessed that she wasn't too good at writing romance, and I don't blame her because writing romance is hard. But I did enjoy Romione! When I was little I saw it coming from a mile away, granted I was already savvy in literature but that must have been because she was doing something right! And then the sixth book happened… the sixth book which… which was released after the Harry Potter movies were being filmed, wasn't it?
Vivi looking up the timelines: Oh my god. Oh my god it's even worse, the movies were being discussed before Goblet of Fire came out. Come to think of it, I always found that the Trio felt… different, after Prisoner of Azkaban. Harry and Ron especially felt like they had gotten dumber? And Hermione was suddenly explaining everything when exposition used to be split between her and Ron…
Vivi, in mourning: So that's what happened. Ron ended up being shortchanged to make Hermione look better, because Rowling was fonder of Hermione than she was of Ron, and the scriptwriter too come to think of it. Curse you, Steve Kloves!!!
Vivi, who is nothing if not what Pokémon fans call a nostalgiafag: But… but… yeah, it sucks that Ron was shortchanged, and actually yeah it's a freaking travesty and I WILL freaking spread the world about this, mark my words, but, but I still… I can't help it, when Hermione “looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt" I melt too. When Ron compliments Hermione or tries to take care of her as much as he can I… it still does something to me, I still find myself rooting for them even if I know there's the awful sixth book and the stupid post-Locket beatdown. Their kiss, for God's sake, I've just realized that Ron may have swept Hermione off her feet physically, but it's Hermione who jumped him, you could say Hermione metaphorically swept Ron off his feet!! God damn it, that's good, that's so good!
Vivi, at war with herself: No, I can't let myself be blinded by nostalgia!! The facts are that Hermione shows borderline abusive - even actually abusive - behaviour, this can't be denied! I don't want to root for an abusive relationship! I don't want to root for a relationship that relies on my favourite character being dumbed down to work!!!
Vivi, about to uncover the secrets of the universe: … wait a second. I don't have to.
Vivi, having an epiphany: Reading Solstice Muse's Romione fanfics gives me such happiness because she just gets the characters! She doesn't portray Hermione as perfect and never fucking up, and she always treats what happens to Ron with respect… Well, especially since she can't play them off as a joke since she often makes Ron the POV character. But, yeah! I can still like Romione… if it's well-written. Which, well, isn't the case in the original books… at least, isn't the case anymore after Rowling's bias got the best of her. Even though they do have their great moments.
Vivi, finding purpose in her life: I am going to spread awareness. I am going to tell the world. Fuck, just rereading the books, I've noticed how blatant the favouritism is and how unbalanced it can be. No wonder the fandom seems to collectively scoff at Ron - the books themselves do whenever it's convenient for them! The fandom plays favourites, because the author herself played favourites, and the worst part is that she didn't even realize it! Imagine you spend your life getting into traumatic situations out of love for your friends who always receive compassion and validation for their feelings about said traumas, but YOUR trauma is hardly touched upon and in the rare case it is, it's only to be mocked or used against you… Fuck! You're a piece of work, JKR! And the fandom just swallows it whole like a bunch of lobotomized snakes! Screw it! Screw it, I'm going to say it like it is, and I'm going to say it LOUDLY! People are going to hear about what Ron goes through and we'll see if Harry and Hermione look like the only ones worthy of therapy then!!
Present day Vivi, as she scrolls through the (heavily filtered) Romione tag on AO3: Ugh, another Drarry… and another… and another… oh, a Hinny-centric fic for a change, cool but I'm looking for more Romione than that, sorry. Gah, why is it that Romione appears as a secondary ship everywhere but they can't get their own stories? I've just seen a Snupin come up for God's sake! Oh, finally, a full Romione!! *clicks* … … … awww that was so sweet. Kudos! Okay back to the search… oh, another one!! *clicks* … … … it's Ron-bashing. It's Ron-bashing and it's not tagged Ron-bashing and that's why it showed up in my search AND I'M GOING TO FREAKING RIOT-
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