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xtra7s · 4 months

Note

Could you write a Leighton Murray x fem!reader, preferably in season two where Leighton is out of the closet and she meets R who she falls for but R is in the closet? would love to see how Leighton deals with previously being SO closeted and now dating a closeted girl. thanks! xoxo

𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦 ──── 𝘓𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘰𝘯 𝘔𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘢𝘺 𝘹 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

Synopsis: Leighton meets a girl in her math class, and gets into more than she was expecting.

Content: Leighton Murray x Fem!Reader, really uncomfortable man interaction, fluff, closeted!reader, some angst, jealous!leighton.

Word Count: 1.8k

a/n: REMASTERED BABY, decided to fix it up because I realized (with the help of @lovequinnins comment which i cant find anymore), that I should try a different approach with it. Really like how it turned out, let me know(:

masterlist | next part

Leighton Murray found herself in the new top-level math class at Essex College. Little did she know, this class would not only challenge her love of equations but also introduce her to someone who would change her for the better.

Y/N, a reserved and quiet girl, sat quietly in the back row, focusing on the formulas written on the whiteboard. As the days passed, Leighton noticed the mysterious girl with an air of intrigue. Leighton, never one to shy away from new connections, decided to make her move.

One day after class, Leighton approached Y/N with a warm smile. "Hey there, Y/N, isn't it? Mind if I borrow your notes? I think I was a bit distracted today."

Y/N looked up, surprised by the friendly approach. "Oh, sure. Here you go," she replied, handing over her notebook.

As Leighton flipped through the pages, she couldn't help but notice the meticulous organization of Y/N's notes. "Wow, you're really thorough. I wish I had your dedication."

Y/N blushed slightly at the compliment. "Thanks, I just like to stay organized."

Leighton chuckled, "I'm Leighton, by the way. Leighton Murray."

"Pretty name, Leighton," she replied, a hint of nervousness in her voice.

Leighton continued to engage in friendly conversations with Y/N after classes, discovering common interests and shared passions. As the weeks passed, their connection deepened, and Leighton found herself captivated by Y/N's intelligence, kindness, and, unknowingly to her, the subtle signs of a shared attraction.

One evening, after a particularly challenging math assignment, Leighton invited Y/N to grab a coffee with her. They found a cozy spot in a nearby cafe, Sips. The atmosphere was filled with the warmth of brewing espresso and soft conversation.

As they sipped their drinks, Leighton leaned in, breaking the barrier of friendship. "You know, Y/N, I feel like we've become really good friends. But there's something I've been meaning to ask you."

Y/N looked at her curiously, her heart pounding.

Leighton smiled warmly, "Are you seeing anyone? Because I can't help but feel this connection between us, and I don't want to assume anything, but..."

Y/N looked around quickly, her eyes narrowing at Leighton. "What?" she spoke quickly, noticing a few eyes on her. She chuckles awkwardly, leaning back from Leighton.

Y/N's eyes widened, and she hesitated for a moment. The fear of exposing her true self and the potential consequences rushed through her mind. In a moment of panic, she stammered, "I am not gay, Leighton. I'm gonna go" She spoke with a forced laugh, standing up quickly and packing up her stuff, heading out of the cafe without glancing behind her.

Leighton looked around embarrassed, wanting to chase after Y/N but not wanting to seem desperate.

Leighton sat there with a frown on her face, Kimberly walked over and sat down after seeing the interaction. "Are you okay?" She asked softly, her eyebrows furrowed at seeing Leighton upset.

___

The thumping bass of the music echoed through the crowded frat party, creating an energetic atmosphere. Leighton, enjoying the night with friends, spotted Y/N across the room. Excitement flickered in her eyes as she made her way through the sea of people, eager to talk about what happened with Y/N.

However, as Leighton approached, she couldn't help but notice Y/N actively avoiding her. Confusion clouded Leighton's expression as she tried to understand why Y/N seemed to be purposefully keeping her distance. Determined to address the situation, Leighton maneuvered through the crowd, attempting to catch up with Y/N.

"Hey, Y/N! Wait up!" Leighton called out, her voice barely audible over the music.

Y/N turned, a brief flash of panic in her eyes, before she quickly changed direction, disappearing into the throng of dancing bodies. Perplexed, Leighton picked up her pace, determined to get to the bottom of the sudden avoidance.

Several attempts later, Leighton managed to corner Y/N in a quieter corner of the frat house. "Y/N, what's going on? Did I do something?"

Y/N, visibly flustered, avoided eye contact. "No, Leighton, it's not you. I just... I need some space, okay? I'll catch up with you later."

Leighton left her alone after that, finding herself soon surrounded by her roommates, – Whitney, Kimberly, and Bela. As they navigated the lively atmosphere, Leighton noticed Y/N at the makeshift bar, downing a few shots.

Curiosity flickered in Leighton's eyes as she observed Y/N from a distance. However, her intrigue turned to hurt when a guy approached Y/N, his intentions written all over his face. Leighton exchanged glances with her friends, and they collectively decided to keep an eye on the situation.

Leighton's brow furrowed as she watched the guy engage Y/N in conversation, leaning in with a flirty smile. The atmosphere around them became tense as the guy tried to make his move. Leighton couldn't help but feel a knot forming in her stomach.

The guy's attempts escalated, and, to Leighton's dismay, Y/N seemed to be going along with it, albeit reluctantly. The situation took an unexpected turn when the guy leaned in and kissed Y/N. Leighton's heart sank as she saw Y/N reciprocate, a look of happiness evident on her face.

Y/N abruptly pulled back, a brief expression of disgust crossing her features before she masked it with a forced smile. Leighton exchanged glances with her friends, the concern etched on their faces mirroring her own.

Y/N, feeling weird about the situation and needing an escape from the persistent guy at the party, decided to create an excuse. She gently extricated herself from his hold and said, "Hey, I actually need to head home. It's getting late."

The guy, with a cocky grin, tightened his grip on her, clearly not taking no for an answer. "Come on, don't be like that. The night's still young."

Y/N, feeling increasingly annoyed, insisted, "No, really. I have to go." She attempted to pull away, but the guy complained, trying to persuade her to stay.

"We'll catch up later, okay?"

The guy, displeased with the situation, reluctantly released Y/N. However, before she could fully distance herself from him, he pulled her back in for another kiss. Y/N, feeling pressured, went along with it briefly. As they kissed, the guy's actions became more intrusive, as he groped Y/N's ass.

Y/N pulled back with a short smile, holding her arms around his neck. "I really gotta go now, I'll see you later." She smiles at him, silently celebrating when he lets her go.

She heads out of the party quickly, walking home a little too sober for her liking. Leighton wants to follow her but decides to give her space for a bit.

Later that evening, Leighton found herself standing outside Y/N's dorm room, contemplating whether to knock or not. After taking a deep breath, she gently tapped on the door. Y/N opened it, surprised to see Leighton standing there.

"Hey," Leighton began, a hint of concern in her eyes. "I hope I'm not intruding, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something might be wrong. Can we talk?"

Y/N hesitated but eventually nodded, inviting Leighton into her room. The air in the room was tense, and Y/N couldn't bring herself to make eye contact.

Leighton sat down, choosing her words carefully. "I noticed something changed after I asked you out earlier. I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that, I guess I just read the vibes wrong. I genuinely care about you, Y/N, I'm sorry."

Y/N took a deep breath, mustering the courage to speak her truth. "It isn't that, Leighton. My family is pretty uptight. I've been struggling with the fear of coming out to them, and it's making me hesitant about being open about me, even liking you. Especially around my cousin who came here with me" Y/N expresses quickly, getting worked up over the conversation.

Leighton hums quietly, "I understand, Y/N. Coming out can be really challenging, especially when you're uncertain about how your family will react. And with your cousin around, it adds an extra layer of shit I don't even know how to get into. I never wanted it to change my life, but Y/N it has never felt better. I'm still me, I never changed, I just get to freely love who I wanna love and not worry about it. It's gotta be hard with family around, but I wanna support you however I can. Some people suck, but those people don't matter, they come and go, your friends, me, I stay."

Y/N places her hands on her thighs, squeezing them for comfort.

"It's just that my cousin is pretty.. intense, and the thought of her finding out about us, me, it terrifies me. I'm scared of any public affection or behavior that might give it away. I feel like I'm hiding all the time and it's suffocating."

Leighton places one of her hands on top of one of Y/N's, smiling sadly at her.

"I'm so sorry you have to deal with this shit, Y/N. It must be really fucking tough for you. Just know that I'm here for you, we can figure this out together, if that's what you want?"

Y/N looked up, meeting Leighton's gaze, and for the first time, she felt a tinge of hope and acceptance. In that shared moment, the unspoken understanding between them deepened, setting the foundation for a connection that went beyond the surface and resonated with the complexities of being true to oneself.

In a sudden surge of courage, Y/N leaned in and pressed a quick, soft kiss on Leighton's lips.

Leighton blinked in surprise as Y/N quickly backed up, her eyes widening, panic flashing in Y/N's eyes. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that without asking. I am so sorry"

Leighton caught off guard but pleasantly surprised, couldn't help but smile. "Hey, it's okay. No need to apologize. I'm more than okay with it."

Y/N's eyes flickered up to Leightons, seeking reassurance. "Really?"

Leighton nodded, her smile growing wider. "Absolutely. If it feels right for you, then that's all that matters. I want this, Y/N."

Encouraged by Leighton's positive response, Y/N smiles shyly at her. "So, is it okay if we... you know, try that again?"

Leighton chuckled, "Definitely," and Y/N leaned in once more. This time, the kiss lingered, a sweet and tender connection forming between them.

Leighton's smile grew during the kiss, leaning back to give her a quick kiss again. Y/N looked at Leighton with a newfound confidence in her eyes. "Thank you for being so understanding and supportive. I appreciate it more than you know."

Leighton reached out, squeezing Y/N's hand. "We're in this together, Y/N. No need to rush anything. Whenever you're ready, I'll be right here."

#leighton murray x reader #leighton murray #the sex lives of college girls #lesbian #wlw #lgbtq #renee rapp x reader #renee rapp #regina george x reader #mean girls #not my fault

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xiaowhore · 2 years

Text

playing hard to get [pt. 3]

premise. he delighted in being the object of your affections. the apple of your eye, your dearest treasure, your one and only darling—

so why aren't you acting like it now?

(or, in which he takes his admirer's love for granted until you decide to play hard-to-get.)

includes. ayato & heizou !

part one. diluc, xiao & childe.

part two. zhongli, albedo & kazuha.

note. i send snippets of wips and post something entirely different. oops. also this is extremely long compared to prior chapters (my favoritism is showing).

ayato dreads arranged marriages. even now, as the yashiro commissioner who understands the importance of forging political alliances, the thought of it is distasteful. presently, he has no person in his heart he'd rather marry, but that doesn't mean he finds the idea of pursuing a loveless relationship agreeable.

so when he first meets you, he's a little surprised. you're fidgety just like he is, but it isn't out of agitated worry; you look excited, can almost be described enthusiastic for the deal.

ridiculous, ayato thinks. you must be one of those shallow people easily wooed by appearances. he knows he's dashing, but he never liked anyone who's only drawn to that part of himself, and he doubts that will change in the future.

(still, as the marriage talk progresses between ayato and your parents, he finds himself distracted by the way you blow on your hot cup of tea, scrunching your nose when it burns your tongue. the moment you notice him staring however, you quickly switch gears and duck your head down in panic, reviewing etiquette lessons in your mind and trying to remember if blowing on your tea is a form of disrespect.)

(cute.)

(no it isn't, what are you thinking.)

ayato doesn't have the free time to afford frequent visits. most of the time, you're the one visiting the kamisato estate, often unable to see him and ayaka receives your presence instead. in the few chances you do catch him in a good time, conversations over tea and pastries are awkward and strained, made even worse by ayato's unwillingness to reply in a sentence longer than five words. he doesn't want you to get any closer to him, and perhaps you'll finally lose interest if he keeps up this charade.

(but sometimes, just sometimes, really, he'll gift you tea leaves he procured from foreign lands. they cost a hefty price, but he always puts a frown on your face, and if they bring back just a quick upturn of your lips, he'll consider it a successful apology.)

yet when you lose interest in him, he isn't very ecstatic.

he should be. you send less letters recently, and your visits to the estate even lesser. there's no attendant knocking on his door alerting him of your presence to interrupt his flow of work, and there's no guest he's obligated to entertain. most importantly, there's nobody he's obligated to marry.

(that doesn't stop him from worrying. doesn't make him feel any better. doesn't make him any less disappointed even when this result was what he was hoping for.)

eventually, rumors start to circulate. they say you're now besotted with a lord in the south, often spotted strolling around together and conversing over shared meals. they say you've fallen out of love for the yashiro commissioner you once begged your parents to let you marry, disillusioned by his stoic nature devoid of affection. they say you much rather prefer the romantic lord gifting you pretty robes and fragrant perfumes, finding comfort in his lavish sweetness opposed to ayato's cold indifference.

for that, he can't fault you at all. this... lord seems to court you properly. what rights does he have to be angry when he's done nothing to deserve your attention? besides, it's a win-win for everybody—ayato doesn't have to go through the arranged marriage he couldn't refuse due to your father's persistence, and you can be wed to a man who's genuinely fond of you, eager to treat you well.

still. still. these irrational thoughts keep plaguing his mind, ugly feelings blooming in his chest when images of you with another man settle in the corners of his subconscious. it's difficult to focus when you could be elsewhere locking hands with someone other than him, cheery laughter spilling from your lips as dappled sunlight makes you glow gold. you could be elsewhere wrapped in another man's embrace, protected from the chilly wind within his heat as he whispers sweet nothings to your ear. you could be...

you could be perfectly happy without him.

ayato hasn't spent much time with you, if at all. you didn't have any meaningful conversations, any beautiful memories you could look back on.

but that was because he didn't give you a chance to. he chose to disregard your existence, deliberately avoided reciprocating your efforts to connect. he didn't see you for who you were, he looked at you as the person he wanted you to be—someone vile, someone shallow, someone easy to despise.

and no matter how many rumors there are reporting how you supposedly begged your parents to establish an arranged marriage between you and ayato, he knew better: you should've been as miserable as he was about it. you never asked to get married either.

at first, he thought you already fell in love with him the first time you saw him; your eyes were sparkling with joy. but now that he thinks about it, perhaps you were just relieved you weren't about to get married to someone twice your age. he looked fairly decent, far from the horrific men you'd hear about disrespecting their spouses when they marry into the family. if it was him, known for his fair ruling in his territory, being married probably wouldn't be too bad.

and ayato had fantastically ruined that impression of himself by being the biggest dickwad possible.

so he hastily makes his move—he sends flowers to your doorstep, writes heartfelt letters referencing love poems. he still doesn't have the time to visit in person, but he gives you jewelry and hairpins he thinks would look good on you and hopes he can see you wearing them the next time you meet. he recalls every piece of information you've shared with him and gifts you books you expressed interest for in the few times you talked, presents you with tea leaves you once told him you wanted to try but haven't gotten an opportunity to due to its rarity.

ayato knows best how rumors tend to exaggerate the subject matter. surely, your relationship with the lord hasn't progressed too far. you've yet to call off the engagement, but ayato shouldn't be complacent either. he should make his intentions clear—he's not giving up on you.

after two weeks of this charade, you rush to the kamisato estate, red-faced and flustered and considerably confused. ayato smiles at the blue crystals adorning your bracelet, familiar with its design. (he picked it out himself, after all.)

“i apologize for my... absence,” you can't find the proper words to say it, gaze flitting from one place to another. you find it difficult to meet his eyes. no matter; ayato finds that shyness cute, too. “i was preoccupied– but!”

your formal tone disappears immediately as you hasten to say, “please don't listen to the rumors about me! i really, really haven't been seeing someone else!”

...???

“i'm very sorry for failing to include in my letters the details about the festival our territory celebrates.” at this, you bow deeply, thus missing the dumbfounded expression on his face, looking incredibly stupid. “in truth, i've been busy with preparations the past month... the lord i've been meeting with is known for the silks his household provides, and we commissioned him our clothes for the festival rites. he's very knowledgeable about perfumes as well, he gave me samples of- oh, i have some on me i thought ayaka might like! of course, i have some for you too, but i can't guarantee you'll like it...” you wince at that, smile turning sheepish. “i did try my best basing off your preferences, but i apologize if it isn't to your satisfaction.”

numbly, he gestures for a servant to accept the gift, fixing his expression into something more blank rather than an obvious display of his thoughts. his very, very messy thoughts, the few he can manage to think amidst the pure shock at the revelation. “i... i see. i appreciate the thought.”

you fidget at his robotic way of speaking, feeling awkward. “did you perhaps... believe the rumors?”

his heart breaks when your voice trails off at the end of your sentence, shrinking to yourself in shame. “absolutely not,” he says. you know, like a liar.

“then that's a relief!” your lips stretch to a relieved smile, punching another spike of guilt to his chest. “i feared you would think lowly of me.”

“ridiculous,” he states, tone unwavering. it takes you slightly aback, and warmth bleeds into his next words, coaxing a deeper red to tint your ears, “i like you a lot more than you think.”

oh, you have no idea.

it doesn't take a detective to know you have a massive crush on heizou.

the way you can't meet his gaze, the flush high on your cheeks, the nervous stutter in your words when you invite him for a stroll around town; heizou would have to be an idiot not to notice. unfortunately for you, he is far from one, so he notices every stare you pin to his figure, every quiver of your lips as you fight back a smile when he looks back, every sign of your elation as he makes his presence known.

and, well. maybe it is a little amusing to watch you squirm. heizou doesn't consider himself a cruel man, but he'd be lying if he said he doesn't enjoy seeing you worked up because of him.

he wonders what you find so charming. pursuing romance has never been a high priority for him, flaunting his appealing traits to potential partners lesser so, and as honorable chasing after criminals can be, he doesn't think anyone would find that attractive in the romantic sense.

more often than not, he's told to be too dedicated in his job, which he would normally take as a compliment, thank you very much, but he does see how it could be a flaw as a spouse. it's pretty much general knowledge he can't guarantee his undivided attention for anyone, even his special person (that he's not very eager to find right now).

once, you commented as such, teasing him he won't be able to get a significant other at this rate. jokes on you—from what heizou can see, you're a willing volunteer now.

before, though, was entirely different. in fact, you couldn't even call yourselves friends until just recently. your interactions were hardly noteworthy, simply exchanging cordial greetings when you ran into each other on the road or sharing the briefest conversations if the situation called for it.

you only became proper friends when you got involved in one of heizou's cases and helped him through it. turns out you were extremely compatible all along, to the extent heizou regretted not befriending you earlier. you're bubbly and cheerful, always making him laugh when you crack the most unexpected of jokes. even in companionable silence, he felt a little brighter and optimistic—you were like a positive ball of sunshine, a great pal to have.

so he received the shock of a lifetime when he first began to notice signs of your budding crush.

your easy-going smiles looked tighter, eyes not quite focused on his face, hands fidgeting behind your back. at the start, heizou thought maybe you did something wrong, or you were hiding something from him...

then you were blushing, asking him if he was free after work. heizou is ashamed to admit his brain had gone completely blank that time, truly empty with the exception of your face flashing in his mind, holy fuck, you're blushing, you've never done that before.

he doesn't remember his response. still can't, even now. but what he does remember is how your face lit up when he said something, eyes sparkly with enthusiasm. you talked about some trendy restaurant that just opened around the block but heizou could hardly hear your explanation over the sound of his heart hammering in his chest. the new revelation had his blood rushing, and he really, really didn't know what to think of you.

weeks later, he finds you cute.

the initial panic wore off and now he enjoys seeing you flail around. you're cute when you're clumsy, tripping over air when you make eye contact with him. you're cute when you get embarrassed, woken up by heizou when you accidentally fall asleep on his shoulder. you're cute when you're shy, stammering as you offer to walk home together.

you're cute, and heizou has to do something about that soon.

not once has he thought to distance himself from you upon realizing your feelings. sure, it felt awkward at the beginning, but if there was something he was certain of, it was that he didn't want to lose you. now, he wanted to be closer than ever, the closest he's ever been to another person.

apparently, you didn't get the memo because you're the one distancing yourself from him.

it's not hard to guess what you're thinking. you're probably getting worried you're being too obvious about your feelings, missing all the blatant signs that point to heizou feeling the same, and feeling the very delayed horror of being rejected.

no, seriously. it's very delayed. you're supposed to be scared first before you think of hitting on someone. all of your concerns are void anyway; heizou has known about your crush ages ago.

you're surprisingly good at hiding. heizou has been missing you by a hair, all of his acquaintances claiming to see you some time around the day conveniently when he isn't present. there are traces of you everywhere, trails from your favorite snack stall to the bookstore you frequent to the flower fields you help take care of, but he could never catch you on time. his frustration is nearly overriding his rationality, even though he knows for a fact putting up wanted posters of your face would be a bad, bad idea.

fine, he thinks. i'll lure you out myself.

and that, he does.

one of the few things he first learned about you is your curiosity; when a mystery piques your interest, you won't rest easy until it's solved. that's why you began to follow him around, watching him dig through secrets and piece together deductions. you have a fascination with the unknown, and heizou knows best how to take advantage of it.

he leaves bait, a simple riddle scrawled on a sticky note posted on your office desk to make you scratch your head. when you take it too lightly and ignore it, he steals your prized hairpin—a birthday gift he gave you a year ago—as a warning. in panic, you provide a correct answer, and the very next day, the hairpin is back on your table, together with a brand new barrette considerably nicer in quality.

the next mysteries continue in a similar pattern; a reward for the right answer, a punishment for the wrong one. he makes you solve puzzles, decipher secret code, unravel riddles—each time, you complain about the work and your determination not to seek out heizou for help chips away, but you've never showed any indication of conceding defeat. you're determined to find the “thief” who's always threatening to rob your possessions if you don't play along his silly games and confront him once and for all.

finally, heizou is finished preparing his greatest puzzle yet—a grand treasure hunt encompassing the entire town. it's a big project involving a large number of people, some of which have probably caught onto his intentions, but heizou wills away his embarrassment; if he lets his shame get to him, then nothing will change.

he's had enough of playing hide and seek.

and as your hand grips the final letter, eyes sweeping over the provocative message, the clock ticks closer to the grand finale—

��i have one last trick; don't worry, if you're lucky, it'll end quick.

beneath the stars, find the treasure by nine. if you fail to catch the prize, i will take back what is mine.”

(a worthless threat—how could he take back his heart that's always been yours?)

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact headcanons #genshin x reader #genshin impact scenarios #ayato #kamisato ayato #ayato x reader #kamisato ayato x reader #genshin x you #ayato x you #heizou x reader #heizou x you

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daikiswife · 11 months

Text

Headcanon: Dating a black Bimbo

notes: Hey hey! English isn't my first language so sorry if it's not perfect!

synopsis: Just, what if Dabi and Shigaraki had a Black Bimbo girlfriend~

warning: fluff, nsfw, cursing, semi-public, degrading, dry humping, cock drunk, pussy drunk, breeding kink, reader is part of the lov.

Tomura Shigaraki

First of all, your relationship is a true definition of "opposites attract". Shigaraki is the quiet type and he's outstanding only when he has to. When you're bubbly, extravagant and kind of loud sometimes.

but somehow you both get together

he likes the way you dress, and even if he doesn't say it out loud, he still wonders why a girl like you would date him

"so how do I look ?"

he stares at you for so long without saying anything, you are way too hot for his poor brain "Take a picture it'll last longer~" you say with a smirk on your lips. "stfu. That skirt is way too short, you hoe." you stick your tongue out to him "yeah yeah, you like it though~"

when you started dating, due to his quirk. he was very uncomfortable with touching you.

but you're touch starved and you need his hands ALL. OVER. YOU.

so he bought some digital artist gloves, spending his time squeezing your waist, thighs and ass no matter if people are watching or not

he'll slides his hand between your thighs, lightly strocking your covered pussy.

he also likes to kiss your neck slowly going down reaching your deep-cut biting your perky nipples through your shirt

he LOVES when you get your nails done make it long af he loves it "next time you should do them in baby blue... it would suit you"

he will definitely pay for your nails.

if you take him shopping he will complain all day about how much he wants to go home to play video games

but if you want something, he'll pay for it.

"Baby, what do you think of this one ?" he lazily raises his head to look at you "You look like a whore" "okay I'll take this one then~"

once again Shigaraki loves your style so he doesn't mind if what you're wearing "too short" or "too revealing", he likes it

but if someone dare look at you in some disgusting ways, he'll decay them without thinking twice

Don't look at his girl like if she was a piece of meat.

Shigaraki is very possessive

he likes to have you close when there's a lot of people around

so you're often on his lap, even during meetings

but you're such a tease, always trying to get him hard when you're supposed to sit still

pretending to find a more comfortable way to sit as you just press his covered cock with your ass

but your actions have consequences

and Shigaraki is not the patient type.

at the second that the two of you will be alone, he'll bent you over any surfaces and shoves his hard penis inside of you

"Aw look at you" he cooed "you're moaning like a dumb slut on my cock~"

he'll go rough on you, making you moaning and screaming. letting everyone around earing you "that's it baby, scream my name let them know who you're belonging to~"

Dabi

From fuck buddies to lovers in blink of an eye

You get under this man skin ngl

He loves your style, that what's peak his interest in you, but now that you both are dating he can't stop noticing the looks of others on you.

Dabi takes any occasions he has to smack your ass and boobs

"Okay I'm leaving see you later baby" you say and he looks at you "not with that skirt. go change yourself" "wtf no! I love this skirt!" he sighs "babe, I can see your bright pink thong from where I am. it's not even covering you ass properly."

like this man will do it in public with a proud smile when you'll turn to look at him

"look baby I got some new nails~!" "you really do like scratching my back, ain't you~" "wha- ITS NOT ABOUT SEX !"

Dabi is not really fond of nails, like he doesn't like it when it's too long and he will never pay for it

but he will definitely pay for nipples piercings

"oh no... I've break one of my nails..." he smirks "oh no you'll not going to require my help to masturbate anymore~"

Dabi is possessive and oddly jealous

if he sees you speaking with an other guy he'll come calmly, grabbing you by the hips, backhugging you while sending death glares to the poor guy.

when the guy is gone, you'll look at him with a disapproval look "What ? At least he's alive."

he loves making sexual jokes obviously but there's those moments when he's looking at you for a short time and his only thought is "damn I love this girl..."

"You're really pretty you know that ?" he says, dragging you on his lap "where did that come from?" "shut up, just take the compliment"

He's really weak for your touch and when I say weak, it's an HEAVY "weak".

And sometimes no matter where you are, you'll be ending with him between your thighs, your legs wraps around him while he fucks you deep and hard against a wall

his lips busy biting your neck and giving you hickeys, holding back his moans

shhh... I know princess~" he whiper next to ears, biting you lobe lightly "But you have to keep it down, people will ear you~"

he'll keep fucking you, filling you with cum before letting you go "You're such a good girl~"

Then you'll both join the meeting like nothing happens

and he'll smirks like an ass seeing his seed slowly running down your thighs

note: I'm sorry if the NSF isn't good I'm not to write those in english :(

#anime x black!reader #black!fem!reader #black coded reader #dabi x reader #dabi x black!reader #bimbo reader #black bimbo #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x black!reader #mha x reader #mha x black reader #mha headcanons #bnha x reader #bnha x black!reader #bnha lov #league of villians x reader #bnha headcannons

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nyerus · 7 months

Text

Guide to Watch TGCF Donghua Season 2

With the new season of the Tian Guan Ci Fu/Heaven Official's Blessing donghua finally releasing soon, I wanted to make a post explaining the different ways fans can watch and support it! Things have changed since season 1, so my old guide is no longer relevant apart from the infographics on how to subscribe to Bilibili CN (and the YouTube channel)!

And to be upfront: the main sites that are going to be broadcasting the donghua have been very sparse with information. I fully expect that we will have to wait until after the first episode releases to know all the details, so while I am making this guide to help people right now, things might change! Please keep that in mind and stay patient! I will post any important updates in the replies as I can!

Additionally, because of copyright/licensing, different sites are going to work in different regions. I do not know with 100% certainty what is going to work in a particular country. There's gonna be some trial and error!

So the main options we have for season 2 are:

Crunchyroll

Sub price: $9.99 USD per month for basic (local prices may vary)

Regions: Americas, Europe, Africa, Middle East, Oceania.

Pros: Easy to subscribe to if available in your region.

Cons: Unlikely for true simulcast so it'll be a bit delayed.

Link to main site (season 2 listing not up yet)

For app: download via App Store/Google Play Store.

Bilibili. tv (EN site/app)

Sub price: $4.99 USD per month (local prices may vary)

Regions: Southeast Asia only.

Pros: Airs earlier than Crunchyroll. Interface is in English.

Cons: If you want to watch it outside of SEA, you'll need a VPN.

Link to Season 2 on website

For app: download via APK link on website if you are outside of SEA. Otherwise use App Store/Google Play Store.

Bilibili YouTube Channel

Sub price: $4.99/$5.99 USD per month (local prices may vary)

Regions: Many -- EXCEPT Japan, South Korea, the Americas, UK, Australia, New Zealand.

Pros: Easy to subscribe if available in your region.

Cons: If you want to watch it from the regions listed above, you'll need a VPN.

Link to channel

It's the youtube app....

Bilibili. com (CN site/app)

Sub price: $9.99 USD for 3 months

Regions: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Pros: If they're gonna air season 2, then they might be the source broadcast if the EN site isn't. Also probably cheapest for those abroad.

Cons: Chinese interface may be intimidating. Not 100% sure if it'll air as normal.

Link to Season 2 on website

For app: download via App Store/Google Play Store.

(NOTE: If you are in Japan, it will be available on WOWOW. If you are in South Korea, it will be available on Laftel.)

F.A.Q.s

🔹What is the release date/time? Bilibili EN has announced it as 20:00 GMT+8 on October 18th. If it releases on Bilibili CN, it'll probably be the same time. Crunchyroll has stated October 18th, but has not yet announced a time as of the posting this guide. I checked. Japan and South Korea have their own release times, so please consult the relevant broadcasters!

🔹Can I watch it on Netflix/Amazon Prime/etc? These streaming services will likely only have it after the whole season concludes, and with a significant delay. For reference, it took several months after finishing for season 1 to be released on Netflix.

🔹Which platform should I choose? Whichever one you can actually access, and feel most comfortable using!

🔹When should I subscribe? Personally, I'll be waiting until the last day before release, just to make sure I have the most information possible. However, I'm sure the idea of doing that makes many people nervous, so... yeah. Whenever is convenient for you!

🔹Which one will have the donghua the quickest/earliest? Probably Bilibili CN & Bilibili EN. I suspect they'll simulcast with each other. I cannot be 100% certain about anything though, because of limited info! For season 1, YouTube and Funimation (now Crunchyroll) were delayed, and it's hard to say if they'll be better this time or not.

🔹Do I need a VPN for Bilibili EN or their YT channel? If you are outside of SEA, yes.

🔹Do I need a VPN for Bilibili CN? Probably not, unless you are in a country that restricts access to CN sites and apps (like India).

🔹Which VPN should I use? This will be up to you! It's best to research what the different options are, and what will work for your needs!

🔹How will I know I'll be able to watch season 2 from my region? The most surefire way is to subscribe to a platform that has officially announced to be serving your region (e.g. Crunchyroll for the Americas). Unofficially, if you can watch the latest trailer and other promo videos on your chosen platform, then there's a good chance you're okay! The exception to this is the YouTube channel, which has some of the trailers public, but has all of season 1 unavailable if you aren't in the right region.... Additionally, be mindful, because even if you're able to see season 1, season 2 might still be region-locked on certain platforms. (E.g. you can watch all of season 1 via Bilibili EN if you're from the USA no problem. But you can't access season 2 without a VPN to a SEA server.)

🔹What languages are going to be available and will there be English subtitles? While dubs for multiple languages have been confirmed, I'm unsure if any of these will be available on release. It'll likely be offered only in Chinese first. For season 1, there were hardcoded CN & EN subtitles for Bilibili on release. Funimation re-subbed the episodes (EN) for their own release, and Crunchyroll will probably do the same.

🔹I watched it on Funimation last time, can I watch it through them this time? No, they were absorbed (in some capacity idk) by Crunchyroll. So they are not distributing season 2 of TGCF, only Crunchyroll is.

🔹Is season 2 actually available in China and thus on Bilibili CN? Yes and no! As long as you are not in mainland China, it seems you will have access to season 2 through Bilibili CN. All promo materials and trailers seem to be available to us, which is a good sign! (They are not available for mainlanders, but mainland fans are able to watch via HK/Macau versions apparently.)

🔹Hopeful that it will be available, I would like to watch it via Bilibili CN, so how do I sign up and subscribe? To make an account, consult this reddit post. To subscribe, please consult the guide below! It's a little old (made it for season 1) but still works pretty much the same.

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hob #heaven official's blessing #tgcf donghua #guide #nyerus.txt #i know the moment i post this there will be new info that comes out #but such is the risk i take posting this on a sunday as opposed to monday #tomorrow i will have no time tho lol #CR please release a time.....

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omalice · 1 year

Text

“Isn't it cute?”

When you glance at the store's biggest teddy bear and “Isn’t it cute?” with a gorgeous smile.

Character: Lucifer, Diavolo, Mephistopheles x gn! Reader

Note: My English is really poor, so…please go easy on me if I write something wrong!

P.2 | P.3 | P.4

The “sugar daddy”

Lucifer

“Isn’t it cute?” You mumble while locking your eyes on the store's biggest teddy bear.

“Hm?”

You stops, suddenly feel embarrassed when Lucifer responds in a tone that is simultaneously surprised and affectionate.

Even though he doesn't think much of your taste, you're no longer in the age of longing for a cute teddy bear.

“Um… never mind…”

He afterward asks if you can go back to the house of lamentation on your own since he has an unforeseen meeting with Diavolo.

He lies, of course.

He can see how much you adore the large, adorable dolls but is too timid to accept one, so the first-born goes to the store again: Lucifer plans to surprise you with the teddy bear!

But the demon runs into an unanticipated issue during the check-out stage.

Where is my credit card?

It was totally stolen by Mammon. Again.

And without his credit card, he would not be able to pay for such an expensive thing.

The doll has already been sold out when Lucifer comes back to the store the following day.

Someone (name Mammon) must foot the bill for this.

However, Mammon will undoubtedly be proud of himself when knows that he was able to foil Lucifer's flirting scheme!

Diavolo

“Isn’t it cute?” You mumble while locking your eyes on the store's biggest teddy bear.

“Yes! It's cute!" Diavolo responds with enthusiasm.

“Do you want it?” And he asks right away.

He is, after all, a genuine sugar daddy.

You also know him well enough to predict what will happen in a few minutes and even what is going through his mind right now. For instance, should I use my credit card to pay for the teddy bear? How wide will MC's smile spread if I bought this? Or I should buy a double doll to be the teddy bear’s friend!?

So you immediately stop him.

You strongly continue that you don't want him to spend money on such an expensive gift. And won't be persuaded to change your mind even if he keeps giving you puppy eyes all day.

Mephistopheles

“Isn’t it cute?” You mumble while locking your eyes on the store's biggest teddy bear.

It's clear that you are unaware that you aren’t with the brothers or the angels but with the ugliest mouth demon.

"Pardon, but what age are you?" scoffs Mephisto. “4?”

His unpleasant words suddenly causes your body to cover in embarrassment as you attempt to ignore it.

But the following morning...

Mammon's vociferous voice causes you to awaken.

And when you open the door with half-open eyes, wonder what has happened—

You see the large present box on the opposite side of the door.

You're shockingly completely awake.

Of course, the teddy bear you mentioned with Mephisto is what’s inside.

If you understand correctly, its size is even bigger than the bear in the store?

"Hello, Mr. Sugar Daddy," is how you greet him in next morning.

In response, He delicately shouts "Ew" and turns away.

Next part will feature Mammon, Beelzebub, and Raphael!

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #lucifer obey me #diavolo obey me #mephistopheles obey me #lucifer x you #diavolo x you #mephistopheles x reader

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yawarakaizai · 7 months

Note

Yan!dazai mindbreaking angel!reader ooo

ⵌ WATCH HER BREAK JUST LIKE A DOLL

SENDER Angel!Reader (Fem) RECIPITENT Yandere!Dazai (BSD) CONTENTS NSFW DARK CONTENT 16+ , obsession/possession, drugging, mind-breaking, reader is a hostage?, unhealthy relationship, dubcon/nc??, abuse (physical implied + mental), slight somnophilia, lowkey angsty, dazai is an asshole!, smut part isn't really detailed (WARNING; This relationship is unhealthy and should not be used as an example. Reader here does not hold Dazai accountable. If you are in an abusive relationship, please seek help from someone you trust or a professional! This fanfic does not idolise nor condone abuse within relationships) NOTE All these years of feeling inadequate and dumb. You were proud to have grown accustomed to Dazai's routine, even if he had promised you months ago he had changed. COMPANY Dolly

A/N combined 2 asks I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE ASK BUT IT WAS A YANDERE DAZAI NSFW IDEA im so sorryy ... also any other yan dazai req ! !! srry for the long wait ;; !! reader is an angel !! she was kind of created ,,? kinda like sigma !! the og req had an idea abt aphrodisiacs but ... not sure if i want to write about them just yet :( so sorry!!

Dutiful and pristine, you were a model wife.

Delicate and gorgeous. Just how he liked you to be.

You were brought her to serve as his prize. His reward for years of watching you from afar, stalking you like a lions meal. And you, pure and kind-hearted, not once ever suspected a thing.

Dazai was your co-worker after all. A smart, handsome man with a positive future.

Back before this all, you were nothing but a mere fascination to not only him, but your peers as well. You were never offended or hesitant to answer questions others would have about you. How you came to be, whether you remember anything, and if those feathers of yours regrow.

You coped with everything by dissociating as much as possible. If you could believe hard enough - Dazai was still the Dazai you knew before. The man next to you who'd pout when ordered to finish his report, the one who would turn to you and try to flirt or make you giggle, knowing Kunikida would never dare give out to you.

How could anyone, after all? You only manifested a few years ago. What was it, eleven, or twelve. You can't remember. There was little you remember anyway.

The first few months with Dazai were a blur. You'd have blacked out for the majority of the day until he'd wake you up and force you to eat. If you'd refuse, he'd starve you until you'd beg.

You had tried to protest by going days without food or water but he always got his way in the end. You had to give in at some point.

The biggest obstacle was finding the guts to hate Dazai.

You were afraid to hate him. You were afraid to hate.

He'd treat you so gently and with love. Funnily enough, you blamed yourself for it all. You didn't know why or how, but you felt like if you had done things different, none of this would have happened.

Osamu was sweet. He always did what was right. You respected Kunikida and Fukuzawa immensely. If they trust Dazai, then so did you.

If you knew that you were a lamb handed to a wolf, maybe you would have ran much earlier.

Dazai did not show himself upfront. No. First, it was the mind games. The ghastly figures that would appear outside of your window in the form of blackened shadows, doors you remember closing being wide open when you return home, bangs and creaks around your home when you lived alone, your items disappearing from their usual spot, laundry vanishing completely, and countless mysterious messages from anonymous.

Second, it was you asking for help. You turned to who you admired best. The Armed Detective Agency. Ranpo scanned your phone. He read each message out loud before looking at you, then back down at your screen. He slid it back towards you. " There's nothing suspicious. It's just a prank. "

You felt relief. Ranpo had his ability, after all. The ability to figure out any mystery. He could not be wrong.

How dumb of you to think Ranpo would not be the first person Dazai would go to for his sick joke.

Third was the fever. It hit you like a brick. It was the first time you had been infected with a human illness. Dazai kindly offered to tend to you in his free-time, as everyone else was too busy. You were grateful that Dazai, an important member of the ADA, was sacrificing his time in helping you. He'd stop by almost every day and night to feed you and make sure you're alright. The more you drank that chalky water he'd give you daily before bed, the more you lost your ability to walk.

Fourth, was the inevitable. You waking up in a bed that was harder than yours. Upon observing around you, you realised you weren't in your house. And you don't recall ever sleeping next to Dazai. Naturally, you were afraid. You were in hysterics while he tried to calm you down, telling you stories on how it's safer for you to be here, and that you were an ungrateful bitch for not being grateful enough to him.

You didn't want to hear any of it. So? You were kept in his lovely basement.

There, you were badly treated. Sleeping on cold concrete and eating what scraps he'd leave on the floor for you like some animal - any form of resistance was met with harsh punishment.

You lacked survival instincts. You not once ever felt the need to. Working in the ADA, you were nothing but an accountant. You'd hear about the missions they'd go on, but to you it all seemed like the things you'd see in action films.

But this was real. The way your heart pounded in your ears every time you'd hear steps coming down and the way he'd tug your hair 'till your scalp would burn is something that the actors would never be able to portray properly.

It took you a while to realise you weren't going to make any progress by doing the opposite of what he wanted.

Though, you were admittedly conflicted.

You provided Dazai something interesting. If you let him use you, to spare yourself of his harsh punishments, would he get bored of you? Would he rid of you completely? Would he treat you more terribly to purposely make you act out just so he'd have a reason to strike you?

These were questions that would keep you up.

You couldn't be strong-willed for long. Hope that Kunikida or anyone else would come looking for you dwindled as the days went by and none would come but Dazai.

At some point, you had lost your voice for a while. In that period, Dazai took complete advantage of the fact. When you could do nothing but thrash and cry until you submit underneath him.

He'd pull out, collapse next to you and hold you close to his bandaged chest and apologise until he fell asleep with your hot breath against his skin.

Dazai had been your first time. He took an angel's virginity. You were frozen for the rest of the night. You were almost neutral to what had happened. You even wiped his tears away with your thumb. He apologised. He must surely be remorseful. He promised he wouldn't do it again.

You lost your halo that day.

'' Fetch me some water, I'm thirsty. "

His hand came off your head where it had been caressing.

You looked up at him through long lashes, slowly nodding your head and raising to unstable feet.

Ever since you were allowed to stay out of the basement, he's been helping you regain your ability to walk after the drugs had left your knees shaky.

Your movement was slow but gradual, at least.

If you wished to remain with Dazai, you'd have to obey him. And obey you did.

You fetched him his requested glass of water albeit spilling a tad bit on your way back, you presented him with it.

He peered in, then slouched back into the couch, gaze returning to the television screen. " I said orange juice. "

You were sure he said water.

" But you said water. " Your voice was meek compared to his.

" Are you saying I am lying? "

That shut you up.

You apologised, and travelled back to the kitchen to throw away the water and replace it with orange juice.

You'd bring it back, and he'd look at you with disappointment. " Why are you bringing me orange juice when I asked for apple juice? "

He sounded so convincing that you thought maybe you were mishearing. You held the orange juice in your hand tightly, apologised, and left to get the apple juice.

By the time you returned, you were shaking. The apple juice was dripping from the overfilled glass and onto the floor. You were trembling. " It's- It's apple juice. Because y-ou said.. "

Your gaze was so distant. You were so far away. You were no longer on this Earth. Dazai had to keep you grounded.

" You must be taking me for a fucking idiot. "

He slapped the glass right from your hand, your whole body jolted in shock when the glass shattered against the floor.

You two had just been cuddling on the couch, watching a noir movie like a happy couple would.

Dazai had to keep you grounded. He had to keep you on a leash lest you wander.

" Get over here. " He sighed out after a long pause. Instinctively, you answered, " No. "

It's been so long since you were punished. You didn't want to go back to them.

" I didn't do anything wrong ", your voice croaked out to reason. You should have figured at some point Dazai would get bored of a normal life style.

" I said get over here, Y/N, my patience is already running low. I'm not going to hit you. "

And no matter what you've been through, you'd wake up praying Dazai was kinder. He had overheard your nightly prayers one day and in an act of irony or sympathy - hung a cross over your bed.

You fiddled with the hem of your skirt before waddling to between his spread thighs. Hand reaching for your hip and guiding you down to sit on his lap, you avoided eye contact.

You were clearly afraid of being punished for something that was not your fault. You couldn't tell Dazai it wasn't your fault. That would be calling Dazai a liar. And that would get you hit. Good wives don't get hit.

True to his word, he did not raise his hand to you at all.

Once he opened his mouth to speak, you attentively turned to him. His training worked wonders on you. He made himself your God in a matter of months. You no longer worried your pretty little head on whether Kunikida would save you. All you had to do was clean around the house and prepare Dazai's meal - living to serve your husband.

" You've been such a good girl, don't ruin it with this, 'kay? " He didn't sound mad anymore, but you could still pick up on the fact he was not exactly happy with you either.

" Yes, 'samu. " You nod, toying with your fingers nervously.

" You're such a sweet wife. So dumb. So cute. Love seeing you panic. "

You bit your bottom lip at that, chewing on skin.

'' D'ya think It's about time we started our own family? "

You thought at first you didn't hear him properly. You knew you were trying to convince yourself so.

" Ahah.. " You were hesitant. He picked up on it. His dark brown eyes felt like lasers. " I don't think I can. I'd love to, 'samu, but I can't. "

He let go of his soft grasp on your hip to allow you to stand up.

It was 9pm. You should head to bed.

His silence and poker face felt foreboding.

" Goodnight, love. " You tried to remain cheerful.

You went to bed earlier than Dazai. You climbed into your shared bed after having taken your nightly medication.

You fluffed out your wings - once white, now grey - then tossed and turned until you slept.

" Hah.. hah.. "

The burning heat is what hit you first.

Confusion was second.

" Wakin' up, pretty baby? "

Your mouth opened by itself before your eyes did, and when you tried to speak, to ask what is going on, you let out a soft moan.

You feel something sink in deeper in your pussy, the wooden bed frame hitting against a wall. Oh.

" 'Samu! " Your eyes shot open upon realising what was happening. Dazai had not done this for a while. The room was dark. Judging by how dry your mouth was, you had been fast asleep for a while.

Dazai was propped on his knees between your thighs, naked from what you could make out.

You looked further down to realise that he had shoved his dick in you while you were asleep. Your nightgown was pulled up over your stomach and his hands were holding on loosely to your hips.

Your hand reached out to grip onto his wrist, your legs unable to close. " No, you said you were gonna be better, you said no more of this. " Oh, you sweet poor child.

" It's alright. " He responded casually, pulling out just to slam back in. Although your vision was limited, you could feel his piercing stare studying your contorting features. " Just this once, yeah? "

You remembered your conversation with Dazai earlier. The sudden question about having a child.

When you tightened around the base of his shaft, he knew what you were thinking.

" Don't get all scared, baby. You'd make an amazing mom. " He would bend down, his mouth next to your ear as he'd begin thrusting.

You lay unresponsive and silent, staring at the ceiling - your only solace.

His huffs, groans and sighs muffle themselves on your pillow, your body would temporarily jolt in spasms with each orgasm.

Dazai continued for hours.

At some point, your hands were tangled in messy brown hair, your mouth hung and your voice would plead for 'more', 'there', 'deeper'.

Your sweet husband never pulled you back when you drifted off to space with your longing gaze.

He barely even met you in the eye.

Dazai finished his rounds before you noticed. It was a period of him not touching you that made you turn your head sideways to meet him laying next to you, his chest still raising and falling as he'd regain his breath.

You hadn't moved your body.

Adjusted to the dark, you couldn't help but stare at the pitiful man who spoke nothing to you.

An emptiness weighed your heart down and the liquid love he had planted in you seeped - unwelcomed.

You still felt bad for him. Surely, definitely, this was not his fault.

" I'd like a girl. "

Your lips trembled, you smiled to hide it.

" Two.. daughters. "

The corners of your lips quivered with your fake expression. He could see your eyes gloss and your shivering body, blinking rapidly until your tears slid down.

You never did want children. Not with Dazai, at least. Not for another few years. Not here, not now, not with him. Not this Dazai.

He left you waiting for a while, until he rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling that enamoured you with amazement when he had made love to you.

" Yeah. "

He sounded uncertain, before continuing his response. You had expected it. All these years of feeling inadequate and dumb. You were proud to have grown accustomed to Dazai's routine, even if he had promised you months ago he had changed.

" 'm sorry. "

" I know. "

©yawarakaizai 2023 ﹒﹒ reblogs appreciated! requests open :3

#dazai x reader #yandere dazai #bsd x reader #yandere dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader

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antiendovents · 2 months

Note

actually, since i already commented on your post about tulpas and how they pissed me off; im gonna do it again. in detail.

note: i am a former buddhist, i live in a buddhist country. (95% of thais are buddhists) and pretty much been surrounded by it. im asian. saying it before people jump at me because im terrified as shit

as i mentioned, tulpas are stolen and bastardized completely from a tribe of tibetan buddhists, and the practice itself isn't even a system thing. while thai buddhism and tibetan buddhism are different in their own way, i am very fucking pissed off that they just saw the concept of a thoughtform spirit that helps you meditate, overcome your fear and guide you to nirvana (because that's the main purpose of buddhism) and turn them into "oh! we make alters because we can due to our meditation and we're spiritual so that totally excuses using a generally closed practice! we're not harming anyone!" total bullshit.

i don't want (and sorry if i'm a bit mean) those bigoted fucks stealing basically my culture since im attached to buddhism in general, i grew up with it. and "tulpa systems" slapping it on themselves for the sake of being "unique". i have seen countless comments and posts about how its always the white/non asian people that say "no its not a closed practice, its not cultural appropriation :) actually you should be glad we're appreciating your culture in the first place" fuck off! appreciating culture is fine, but you bastardize it so much and dumb it down to just "making alters/imaginary friends" are you just hearing yourself? are you stupid? are you braindead? god, im getting so angry again.

i have also seen "tulpamancers" insulting actual asians like me who speak against tulpas, saying that we're just "asian token of a character" or that we're "closed minded" and should accept these assholes who dont know what theyre doing into my culture and blatantly disrespecting it, spitting on it and just taking one practice that fits their narrative. wow, talk about being appreciative while half of your community does shit like this to actual buddhists, huh? real nice of you. way to go, you cultural appropriating fucks. /vneg

i cannot count how many times asian culture is so whitewashed on the internet, people that just take our tradition and do whatever the hell they want with it, including making a system out of thoughtforms, which is not possible whatsoever. and for what? FOR WHAT? for your own sick entertainment and enjoyment of having a imaginary friend in your head? try dissociating so hard you cry yourself to sleep you absolute pillock. this is a very angry submission, but it just frustrates me so much. all of the insulting "yous" are directed towards "tulpamancers" that they proudly call themselves. by the way. sorry if it sounded like it was directed at you, im just so angry at the moment.

one last thing. Stop. Using. The Term. Tulpa. For your system. Please!!!!. tulpa systems are not a thing and will never be. End of story. Nothing will change that. Endos fuck off. im sick of your shit. thanks for reading my angry rant.

-azriel for the majority of this, rox/virus proofreading some of the parts, thanks for letting us vent ^^

i dont have much to add, please read this ^^

#important psa about tuplas #no you can't be a tupla system #fuck off #endos dni #tupla systems dni #anti endo #did #did system #plural #actually did #alters #system #endos fuck off #did osdd

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greenplumbboblover · 10 months

Text

Simblr.cc

I made a website!

Now you've probably seen the attempt before, people getting mad at tumblr and then making a 'Simblr' (Tumblr clone). Though, despite tumblr being sometimes a bit frustrating because of their changes, that's not why this site came to be...

I wanted a place where Storytellers, Creators, and just generic sim players can all be together and get the exposure and fun that they deserve.

Not only that, but also for a place where the TSM community and TS1 can belong somewhere too without the use of a forum.

And eventually, I hope we can make it the home for Life by you and Paralives when that comes out :)

Plus, it's also NSFW friendly! While the site is initially PG-13, we've got tags and profile settings that allow you to browse NSFW items as well.

Simblr.cc:

Discord:

What can I find on Simblr.cc exactly?

Anything for all sims games, really! TS1, TS2, TS3, TS4 and TSM

Practically anything you technically can find on Tumblr and really other sim websites. We've got...

Mods

I've specifically made filters for different games, and their needs in mind. For example, for TS2 there are so many awesome game fixes out there and clean templates, that you'll be able to navigate and find this easily.

Not only that, items can also be put in multiple categories! Especially great if you've uploaded a set!

You can also find Testers wanted only mods here if you feel like helping out fellow simmers with testing!

NOTE:

Mods do go through a "queue", but not in the same way as you may have experienced on MTS or TSR. I merely check if it's flagged as NSFW correctly, and then it's good to go! :) So the waiting time will be much less!

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hgfictionwriter · 2 months

Text

Getaway

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Jessie's in her head about your friendship and if it can be something more. Can a vacation getaway change the trajectory of your connection?

A/N: Get ready for shy, sweet, awkward Jessie doing her best to not get in her own way and win over her girl. Someone requested fluff and while this isn't quite it - it's on its way lol. No warnings for this fic.

"Um, can I get you a refill?" Jessie asked as she spied the near empty glass in your hand.

"Only if you're getting one," you responded with a nod to the cup Jessie was holding.

Niamh and Zee had both retired for the night and it was now just Jessie and you around the firepit of the villa the four of you were renting. Jessie wasn't a night owl and she was actively fighting the weight of her heavy eyelids, but she wanted to stay up with you. And frankly, she was a bit of a lightweight when it came to drinking as well. She was already feeling a bit of a buzz and wasn't entirely confident about having another drink. You noted her hesitation and smiled.

"Doesn't have to be a boozy drink. I could go for a late night tea instead."

Jessie smiled gratefully. You knew her so well.

"Sure, let's do that," Jessie said.

When Jessie returned a while later with two steaming mugs of tea, she also had a bag of crackers tucked under her arm and handed them to you.

"Oh my gosh," you said as she sat up to receive the items. "How did you know I wanted a snack?" You blew on the hot beverage before taking a tentative sip. "And you remembered how I take my tea. Thank you."

"Of course," Jessie said, hiding a pleased smile. An easy quiet fell over the two of you as you sipped your drinks. Jessie had to make a concerted effort to focus her gaze on the fire and to not stare at this beautiful woman across from her. She should really just enjoy the silence and your company, but an urge had been nagging her and her resolve was fading.

"So, how are you liking it here so far?" She asked.

"It's beautiful. Obviously," you responded with a light chuckle. "I'm loving it. Thank you again - to all of you - for letting me tag along on your unofficial team trip."

"Oh, no need to thank me or any of us. We're all super glad you're here," Jessie said. She did her best to push down the awkward or self-criticizing feeling that was starting to bubble up inside of her.

It's just Y/N, she had to remind herself so she wouldn't get caught up in analyzing her own words and actions.

When Jessie first met you through Niamh over a year ago, you hit it off. At the time, Jessie made a point of not giving it too much headspace. It was just one meeting after all and it could have been a fluke. But when you saw each other again at another event, it became evident to Jessie that there was actually something there. Your chemistry was natural, banter was easy, and your conversation led to some deeper things and you ended up talking late into the night. Jessie was reserved, even shy, so warming up to someone so quickly and feeling comfortable wasn't the norm.

Just as Jessie was working up the nerve to ask you for your number - an extreme rarity - it came to light that you had a girlfriend. That brought everything to a crashing halt.

Jessie had been furious with herself for misreading your connection and for almost making a fool out of herself. She was even more upset with herself for how disappointed she felt by this turn of events. It had only been a couple of conversations and she shouldn't be so affected. Regardless, she most definitely didn't want to get caught up in any drama. So when you parted ways that night she dismissed the notion that it could've ever been anything more. She was committed to pushing you from her mind and that was the end of it.

However, your paths kept crossing and that chemistry didn't go away. In fact, every time you talked, Jessie found that you lingered longer and longer in her mind and that feeling in her chest grew warmer and brighter.

In time, Jessie convinced herself that being friends wouldn't be so bad. And, truthfully, it was mostly good. There were, regretfully too many, moments where Jessie had to do everything in her power to not reach out to hold your hand or to not let it show when mention of your girlfriend sent a dagger through her insides, but Jessie's life was undeniably better with you in it than even the thought of one without.

Knowing that you'd never be anything more made things simple enough, not easy, but the lines were undebatable. However, since you and your girlfriend broke up a couple of months ago, things were different and Jessie was having more and more difficulty navigating your dynamic. The chemistry was still clear as day for Jessie, but did you feel the same? And even on the off-chance that you did feel the same, were you ready for a new relationship? And now that you'd been friends for so long, Jessie had to weigh the cost of risking your friendship. The thought of losing you terrified her.

All of the drama she'd been trying to avoid seemed to be closing in on her despite her efforts. She should really just let it all go, but it was proving harder and harder to.

"Did you and [y/ex] ever talk about visiting here?" Jessie asked clumsily. She had to resist the urge to sigh in annoyance at herself. She watched your reaction carefully; if you were put-off or perplexed by the inquiry, you didn't let on.

"No," you answered nonchalantly and shrugged. "She wasn't really big on travel. So, it never really came up. I've always wanted to come here though, so this is perfect."

"Oh yeah, me too," Jessie said quickly - too quickly. She fought off the wince that threatened to cross her face. She cleared her throat inaudibly and redirected. "Um, I haven't really checked in in a while. Uh, so, how are you? You know…since the break-up."

It seemed that no matter how many times she’d rehearsed these conversations, they just never really came out the way she wanted them to. Maybe it was a good thing she had a bit of a buzz, because otherwise she'd probably be sinking into her chair and praying to disappear at how clunky she was approaching this.

"You're sweet," you responded with a small smile. Again, if you were thrown off by any of this, you weren't letting it be known. "I'm doing well. Honestly." Jessie didn't fill the silence that formed and you went on, dropping eye-contact and swirling your tea distractedly. "It was the right decision."

"That's good," Jessie affirmed with a nod. "I mean, if you're not in love, no point in dragging things on."

"Exactly. It wouldn't have been fair to either of us. And truthfully, it was a long time coming," you said returning a nod. You let out a quick exhale and sat back in your chair, a faint smirk now forming on your face. "And what about you? Anyone on the horizon for you?"

A deep blush immediately began to burn on Jessie's cheeks. She forced what she hoped was an easy laugh. "Nothing on the horizon."

You shot her a discerning look. "No one? The entire time I’ve known you you’ve never been remotely interested in anyone. So still no one?”

"What?" Jessie defended, her voice rising in pitch. Her cheeks were on fire as she frowned at you. "I'm too busy. I'm gone like every other week, and sometimes for weeks at a time. That's not exactly the best foundation for a relationship."

Great. Just go ahead and tell her all the reasons why you'd make a crappy partner, Jessie thought disparagingly.

To Jessie's surprise, you smiled.

"That right there tells me you'd be a good partner. It's very thoughtful. I mean, from what I've seen, there are a lot of others who don't afford partners - if you can call them that sometimes - the same kind of care and consideration," you relayed. "That said, life is short. Even if your schedule is crazy, if she's the right one for you, you'll make it work. And if you're the right one for her, she won't mind that your schedule is crazy. It'll make the moments that you're together that much sweeter."

If Jessie's blush was about to fade, that last part had the opposite effect on her. All she could do was offer a tight smile.

"I suppose that's true."

She cleared her throat, building herself up to shift the focus of the conversation back to you.

“Uh, you mentioned your break up was a long time coming - what did that mean?” She tried to make it sound casual, but she feared the chances of that were quite low. She added quickly, “You obviously don’t need to tell me anything. You just never really said why you broke up and I just-”

“It’s okay. Really.” You mercifully interjected. You settled further into your chair with a heavy sigh, your gaze drawn back to the drink in your hands. You took a few moments to formulate your response. “I think it just became apparent to me that my feelings for her weren’t what they should be. She deserved more. And I do, too.”

“That’s very mature. And takes a lot of self-awareness,” Jessie offered.

“Thanks,” you said simply with a faint smile and a shrug.

Jessie waited a beat to see if you would elaborate more, but you didn’t. Jessie contemplated what to say next and although she didn’t fully trust where her instincts were taking her, she went with it nonetheless.

“Um, I know it’s only been a couple of months, but is there anyone on the horizon for you? Like, are you looking to date again?” Once more, she did her damnedest to make it sound like idle curiosity. She watched you carefully while you considered your response.

“Mm, I’m taking my time, I suppose,” you eventually replied. “But, with the right person, I’d be all for it.”

Jessie nodded as she continued to map out how to navigate this discussion. She wanted to push, but fear around jeopardizing your friendship confined her in a lot of ways. She had to be careful.

“And I guess you know better now what you want versus what you don’t want,” she said. You nodded as you peered over your mug at Jessie.

“Yes, that’s true. I do.”

Jessie was about to ask what you were looking for when your phone buzzed and the screen lit up, distracting you both.

Jessie felt an irrational, yet thankfully fleeting, wave of jealousy come over her as she imagined the text was from your ex, as unlikely as that would be. Regardless, she studied your expression as you read the text, noting the discerning frown on your normally gentle features.

“Everything okay?” Jessie asked.

“Oh, yeah,” you replied, your frown dissipating as you locked your phone. “My sister’s just making some questionable decisions. Nothing serious,” you assured with a chuckle, “but she felt compelled to tell me.” You drained your drink, setting it down on the table. “It's 1:30.” You announced as you held up your phone to show the time. No wonder Jessie was so tired. "What time did we want to head out tomorrow?"

"About 9," Jessie replied, now suddenly struggling to stifle a yawn.

"Okay, shit. Sorry - I kept you up. I know you normally go to bed a lot earlier than this," you apologized. Jessie was quick to dismiss the notion.

"Not at all. Well, yeah, I go to bed earlier normally, but we're on vacation. I didn't even realize it was so late," she said, hesitating for a moment before going on. "And I always enjoy our conversations."

"Me too."

Jessie could've beamed. It wasn’t much, but it made her happy nonetheless. She smiled, but tried to tamper it.

“I guess we should try to get some sleep though, hey?” You proposed. Jessie hoped that she was right in hearing a hint of regret in your tone. Even though Jessie didn’t want the night to end, morning was going to come quickly.

She stood and began gathering up the glasses and other items.

"Hey, I can take mine. Don't worry." You protested, but Jessie was already walking to the kitchen with all of the dishes in hand. "Gosh," you complained lightly as you followed her in, "you never let me take care of anything. I'm still not over you carrying my luggage in for me. And Niamh's never going to let me live that down. Or maybe even you, for that matter."

Jessie was glad she was hunched over loading items into the dishwasher otherwise you would've caught a new blush forming across her cheeks.

"You're an 'acts of service', aren't you?" You proposed as you leaned an elbow on the table to prop up your chin.

"Huh?" Jessie asked as she closed the dishwasher door and straightened up.

"Love language," you elaborated. Jessie started to stumble over her words when you interjected. "It can be for anything - not just romance. Friendships too. It's just how you show you care."

"Oh, yeah I guess, then," Jessie conceded. "Um, what are you?"

"'Words of affirmation', for the most part. 'Quality time' is pretty high too, though," she answered.

"Oh, so we're not that compatible.” Jessie risked the joke before she could stop herself, ensuring to tack on a teasing smirk to alleviate as much weight as possible given she broached your compatibility.

"Excuse me?" You protested with a laugh. "That's not necessarily true. I enjoy receiving acts of service. So there's compatibility there. Do you like receiving words of affirmation or do you like quality time, I guess that's the question."

Jessie subconsciously started scratching the back of her head and averted her gaze.

"Um, I don't particularly like compliments, but I guess it depends on context, I don't know," she trailed off. "And I'm an introvert and I need time alone, but, if I like someone I do like spending time with them."

"Well, it's not just strictly compliments," you corrected, drawing Jessie's eyes back. "It's like," you paused briefly, seeming to contemplate something before going on, "if I say, "Jessie, even though I didn't need you to carry my luggage in, I appreciated you doing so. It made me feel welcome and cared for. You are one of the most thoughtful and sweet people I know - you are important to me and I feel lucky to have you in my life."

Jessie's cheeks began to burn yet again. Her heart was racing and the eye contact you held quickly became too much. She tried to distract with a roll of her eyes and an amused laugh.

"Right," she said.

Thoughts clamored in her head and no single one stood out as the right thing to say. She was aware of how too much space was starting to fill your conversation.

"Well, I should let you get to sleep," you said softly, relieving Jessie of the task of finishing her thoughts. Jessie cursed inwardly.

"Oh yeah, sure," she said, running a hand through her hair. "Um, well I'll walk you to your room." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. She couldn't stand how awkward she was sometimes.

"Okay." Despite the odd proposal, you accepted with a gentle smile.

You chatted quietly as you walked upstairs, past Jessie's room and further down the hall. You should've said goodnight right away, but instead Jessie found herself drawing out your goodbye. It didn't seem like you were in a rush, so Jessie cast aside the doubt that was crawling up inside of her.

When you finally said 'good night', Jessie wrestled with the act of hugging you or not. She debated it heavily and was outrageously close to initiating it, but when the moment came she ended up turning on her heel and giving a small wave instead. She had to resist the urge to slam her bedroom door when she got inside over how frustrated she was with herself.

When she finally turned off the light and got under the covers to sleep, she was wide awake. The way sleep had been pulling at her prior was now fully replaced with reflections of the night and irritation with herself. She sighed and let her arms fall heavily at her sides as she stared blankly up at the ceiling. More thoughts swirled inside her head and she screwed her eyes shut before forcing herself to breathe and trying to relax.

Despite her best efforts, she tossed and turned for a while before finally admitting defeat and pulling out her phone to pass the time. Maybe it was the lingering alcohol, maybe it was the lack of sleep, but it was after 2:30 when she pulled up her conversation with you and sent a text with a screenshot of the test she just did.

"Confirmed. Acts of Service. And I actually do like Words of Affirmation."

To her surprise, three dots appeared in the bottom left of your conversation. Jessie's breath caught in her throat and she remained motionless watching the dots fade in and out.

"I knew it. So what I'm hearing is, we are compatible lol."

Another breath caught in Jessie's throat as she read your reply. Her chest was burning and she was grateful for the fact that this was over text. She actually had the chance to think about what she wanted to say.

"Definitely. Though I'm not surprised."

"Tell me more."

Jessie fidgeted as her mind churned with possibilities. This was a moment where things could change - a moment she told herself for more than a year that she didn't want or need. You were friends. Good friends. What if she misread things again - she had before. What if she ruined everything just because she couldn't control herself.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?"

She chickened out.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Apparently, neither could you."

Jessie exhaled shakily.

"True."

"Well, it's silly that we're texting. Why don't you just come over."

Jessie's brow furrowed in deep confusion as she read your text. She reread it just to be sure.

"We have to be up early. I don’t want to keep you up."

She was such a coward. A heavy feeling fell over her chest making it harder to breathe. She let the phone fall against her. It buzzed.

"Okay. Well, if you change your mind, come on over. I'm not tired, so I won't be falling asleep soon anyway."

Jessie locked her phone and set it down on the bedside table. She rubbed her temples and sighed deeply.

The tight, heavy feeling in her chest kept growing and nagging at her despite how she was trying to breathe and decompress. Of course she shouldn't go to your room. She should just go to sleep. And of course your offer didn't mean anything. Why would it? You were friends. Always just friends.

What was she doing?

She wasn't sure how much time passed before she sat up in her bed. She didn't even really realize she was doing it until she was straight up and staring at the wall ahead of her. She swallowed heavily and her heart began to beat loudly in her chest as she swung her legs over the side of the bed and stepped onto the hardwood. She took a steadying breath before she stood and crept over to the door, opening it a crack. She peered down the hall and saw the faintest glow coming from your room. Was your door open?

Jessie swallowed her trepidation and began to softly pad down the hall, mindful to make as little noise as possible. As she neared your room, she confirmed that your door was ajar. Jessie's heartbeat was loud in her head now as she slowly approached the door. She knocked very faintly before pushing it open a few inches to peek inside.

The tension that was holding Jessie's shoulders high towards her ears suddenly fell from her and she exhaled silently upon seeing you casually laying in bed under the glow of your phone and waving her in.

"I told you I wasn't tired," you whispered as you sat up.

"I couldn't sleep either," Jessie told you as she quietly closed the door behind her.

A belated self-consciousness swept over Jessie at the realization that she was standing here in her pajamas, a t-shirt and shorts. She subconsciously tugged down the hem of her shorts.

She sees you in a t-shirt and shorts every game. Calm down, she chided internally.

Jessie quickly took in her surroundings, now suddenly unsure of what to do. Her eyes settled upon a chair at the desk in the corner of the room. She walked over there and began turning it so she could sit.

"Jessie, don't be silly. Just sit over here," you said as you scooted over and patted the spot next to you on the bed.

Jessie hesitated, but didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so she nodded and came over and daintily took a seat on the far edge of the bed. Her ears burned hot as she felt you shooting her a look, coupled with a soft laugh.

"It's okay, Jessie. Relax. It's just me." Your voice was warm and reassuring and Jessie felt tension leaving her body once again.

Conversation started up once more and you talked further into the night. Jessie had no idea what time it was anymore, but it didn't matter, she was happy where she was and didn't want it to end. Eventually, you laid down onto your side and propped the pillow up under your head with a yawn. Jessie was about to offer to leave when you gestured to the spot next to you.

"Lay down. Make yourself at home," you said.

Jessie didn't want to get too in her head about this. She did this kind of thing with teammates and it didn't mean a thing. Did it mean something now? Or was it just like with her teammates - nothing. She cast the thoughts from her head and laid down on the covers. When you told her she could get under the covers, she dismissed it and even though she was chilled, she insisted she wasn't cold.

"So, tell me," you said when a small lull formed in your conversation later on.

"Tell you what?" Jessie asked, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"Tell me why you're not surprised that we're compatible," you responded lightly.

"Oh," Jessie said, her mind suddenly sharpening at the twist in your conversation. Her previous nervousness returned, but this time a certain calm surrounded it. "Well, I mean, we've always gotten along really well. Friendship-wise.”

Old habits died hard.

“Hm. That’s true,” you said quietly with a nod of acceptance. A couple of moments passed. “In terms of compatibility - love languages aside. What are you looking for? Not friendship-wise. You never say.”

It was true. Jessie was very tight lipped about it, even with friends she wasn’t in love with. She endured relentless teasing about it, but she just didn’t like putting herself out there like that. However, right now, in the dark, lying next to you, things felt different.

“I…,” she trailed off momentarily before finding her resolve and her voice. “I want someone who I can be myself with. Someone who will be my person. Who I can talk to about anything and everything. Who I can be vulnerable with – I have to be at my best all the time and for so many people, so to be able to let my guard down means a lot. But, just as easily, I want to be able to have silly and goofy moments together. Someone where doing something as simple as grocery shopping or cooking together can feel like an adventure. I don't know – just that one person who can be my anchor when I'm constantly on the move and trying to live up to others expectations, and I want to be that for them as well, even if I'm 1,000 miles away. No pressure for me – or her – to be anything other than who we are."

“That’s beautiful. Truly. And you deserve that and more,” you said. Your gaze lingered for a moment before you went on. “Whoever you choose in the end is going to be a very lucky person.”

“Thanks.” Jessie had to force herself not to protest. And I want it to be you, she thought. Instead, she said, “I mean, same with you.”

Even in the dark, Jessie spied the small smile you gave her.

“You’re too nice to me,” you said with a soft chuckle as you nestled into your pillow further. “Thank you, though.”

“What do you mean?” Jessie asked. A shy smile formed on her face as she went on. “I mean, words of affirmation here, you deserve it. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met. And, yeah, I feel really lucky to have you in my life. And, um, whoever you choose to be with next…you deserve to be spoiled by them. They should take care of you,” she began to stammer, “well, not like take care of, cause you’re totally independent, which is awesome, but you know, Acts of Service.” She winced and did her best to rally and finish strong. “What I mean is they should make you feel, every day, like you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to them. And that there’s no one else in this world for them.”

“Wow. See? You’re amazing, Jessie. Honestly. Thank you. That means so much to me.”

“Yeah, no worries,” Jessie quickly dismissed with a light laugh.

Neither of you spoke for several moments and the tension became too much for Jessie, causing her to quickly change subjects.

She wasn’t sure how much longer you talked, because the next thing she knew, she was opening her eyes and you were fast asleep next to her. A rush of panic went through her momentarily before she just allowed herself to relax. She debated getting up and leaving, but she indulged herself instead. It was too comfortable laying here with you and, truthfully, she may never get this opportunity again. She took in your sleeping form and before she knew it she was asleep again.

The next time Jessie woke up, the veil of relaxation and drowsiness quickly dissipated as she looked down to see that you were cuddled into her arm. Jessie lay still as she processed the situation, but couldn’t ignore the butterflies fluttering around in her stomach. After a few moments, she steeled herself and began to carefully disentangle herself from you. Though she didn’t want to leave, she didn’t want to take advantage.

She took one last glance at you. The first breaks of dawn started to filter into the room, casting you in warm light. A lump formed in Jessie’s throat, the feelings inside of her threatening to overflow. Jessie turned and retreated to her own room to try to catch a couple more hours of sleep. She was positive that if she managed to find sleep, she’d dream of nothing but you.

#jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #jflem #woso #woso community #woso x reader #chelsea wfc #woso imagine #canwnt #woso fanfics

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gracieheartspedro · 9 months

Text

Cool About It

joel miller x fem! reader

Description: after your first encounter, joel turns into an asshole every time you're around. when tommy makes you two go out on patrol together, it turns into a muddled mess. turns out, he didn't hate you at all, he just sucks at emotions.

Part 2/3

FIND PART 1 HERE

PART 2 HERE

Word count: 6.3k

Warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, post!outbreak joel, killing of infected (including a child), blood, some LIGHT gore, age gap (more specified in this part), very smutty, unprotected p in v, fingering, oral (f and m receiving), overstimulation, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, pet names, joel is still a menace to society and a jerk

Author's Note: Thank you thank you thank you!! you all are so fabulous and sweet. I'm gonna make a masterlist soon, so be on the lookout. I'm also starting a tag list so, if you want to be included, please let me know! All feedback is welcomed. I love you all sm.

I came prepared for absolution if you'd only ask

So I take some offense when you say, "No regrets"

I remember it's impossible to pass your test

But I'm trying to forget about it

Feelin' like I'm breaking a sweat about it

Wishin' you would kindly get out of my head about it

Tellin' myself one day I'll forget about it

Knowin' that it probably isn't true

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want Joel on more of your patrols.

The patrols after your night together ended up being filled with unspoken sexual tension. You’d go home sexually frustrated and hungry for more, but you were never bold enough to make a move. And to be real, you weren’t sure if you should. He’d say something about keeping your shoulders straight when you shot, you’d say something stupid like “make me” and he’d spit back with, “I may just do that, girl.”

But it never went anywhere.

Even if you tried to make a pass, he’d make an excuse or remind you that you two were strictly working at the moment.

You once invited him over after a particularly long shift, wanting some relief from the ache between your thighs.

“Got things to get done at home,” He said, “Maybe another time.”

So after that week of patrols, you were suddenly never on his patrols again. You were put on the exact opposite shifts, actually. You had some sneaking suspicions that he asked Tommy to switch it up. He stopped looking at you during morning meetings and eventually you decided to drop the whole idea of him.

It still crossed your mind every time you saw him, though. How he felt on your lips. How his body felt connected with yours.

Your breathing would change every time you reminisced on your time together. He would consume your mind for brief periods and you couldn’t get away. You kept telling yourself that time would lessen the blow, but it never did.

So you tried your best to forget.

On one particularly chilly morning, you head to your scheduled time at the stables. You’d be going out with Jesse this time around. He was a newcomer, a real sweetie. Tommy wanted you to teach him all you knew about patrolling and securing certain areas.

But when you arrive, you notice Tommy, Joel, and Jesse all standing around waiting. You hadn’t said much to Joel the last couple weeks, only a wave or a quiet mumbled hello. His back was turned to you, but you knew those shoulders and back all too well.

“Are we all going out this morning?” You question, adjusting your braid on your shoulder. Joel turns to you, not expecting your voice to come up behind him. His eyebrows furrow at your presence.

“Yes, ma’am,” Tommy smiles, “You and Joel are gonna be going up to the ski lodge. Heard there’s a hoard or two out there, they need to be cleared.”

“I thought you said I was going with Jesse?” Joel speaks up a bit too quickly. Tommy’s words caught you off guard, so you just stand there waiting for him to respond to Joel, but it never comes.

You swallow, clearing your throat.

“No, I was supposed to go out with Jesse, actually.”

Jesse looks at everyone confused.

He was a cute kid. 20 years young, fresh faced, ready to take on anything. He had all this energy, something you wish you still had. Now you had a bad back, fucked knees, and a terrible sleeping schedule. You were only about 10 years older than him and you’re falling apart.

“We can all just go together?” Jesse offers, adjusting his backpack on his shoulders. You knew that’d be shot down quick, especially when it came to a newbie. If there’s infected, we never throw the new guys into the pits of hell. They’d never want to patrol again.

Tommy shakes his head, “No, I want her and Joel to clear that area before I take you that route. They know it well. We are going to head towards the power plant. We have to bring back some supplies I have stored there.”

Joel’s eyes could laser Tommy in half at that moment. He was pissed and completely blindsided.

You surrendered to the idea, too tired to argue and fight about something so stupid. You also didn’t question their orders, simply because they knew better than you. You wanted to make sure Jackson was safe, just like everyone else.

You gesture Jesse to give the brothers some time alone, motioning towards the horses. You’d at least make sure the horses were ready for his trip out with Tommy. He grabs the reins of two horses, walking them outside towards the front gate. You grab the other two horses, doing the same thing.

He took notice to your tired eyes, “You okay going out today? You look tired.”

“Wow, Jesse,” You laugh, “I thought I looked great this morning when I woke up.”

He instantly starts to backpedal, not picking up your joke. You shake your head, trying to talk over all his apologies.

“I’m just messin’ Jesse. I am tired, but I’ll be okay, don’t you worry.”

He smiles, nudging your shoulder a bit.

“You just gave me a heart attack,” He chuckles, “You sure though? Even with Joel?”

You glance over at the Millers, watching them argue about whatever Joel was truly mad about. You knew in your head it was because he didn’t want to be around you. The feeling was becoming mutual. You never wanted to make anything awkward or difficult, but you guess that’s exactly what you did.

You just shrug. Jesse takes that as your response, grabbing the reins of your horse and handing them over to you.

“You stay safe out there,” He says, “Don’t let him get under your skin.”

You couldn’t help but snicker, “No need to worry about that, dude.”

–

Oh, but was he getting under your skin.

You initially just nod at every direction he makes at you, remembering that it was like this before anyway. But then he starts to undermine every suggestion you made.

“You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

“We will be back before sundown, you know that. Don’t be dumb about it.”

“Stoppin’ would be dumb as hell. You can wait.”

You had been begging for 30 minutes to stop and pee. He was not giving in to anything you’d say. After awhile, you could not hold it anymore. You pull your horse to the side of the trail, not even saying anything to him. You dismount the horse, holding the reins for a moment before you hang them on a branch nearby.

“What are you doin’?” He spits, noticing you off your horse. You come around the horse, giving him a deadly glare. You grab your pack, finding some cloths you bring on your patrols so you can wipe and throw away.

“I have to fuckin’ pee, Joel. I can’t wait any longer.”

“Get back on your horse,” He demands, his posture getting more stiff.

You shake your head, unbuttoning your jeans and turning back to a private area behind a tree. You remember the moments before kissing Joel for the first time. Him telling you how great your ass looked in your jeans. You grimace.

You tug down your pants and squat.

You relieve yourself, quickly using your cloth to wipe when you finish. You toss it behind you, standing up in your spot and turning around to head back to your horse.

You realize Joel is off his horse, bounding towards you. He grabs your arm, pulling you to face him.

“Why don’t you fuckin’ listen?” He says through gritted teeth.

It took everything in you not to fucking snap. You wanted to pull away and scream and yell and throw something at him. But instead your heart just started racing at the contact his hand made with your skin and you physically couldn’t do anything.

He realizes you’re caught off guard. He didn’t grab you hard, just enough shake you a bit to get your attention on him and only him. His facial expression changes as he drops your arm, stepping back a couple of paces. It’s like he realized he was being a bit too aggressive. Maybe it was your expression that brought him back down from whatever pedestal he thought he was on.

“Don’t touch me,” Is all you could think to say. He wasn’t even touching you anymore but you still felt him all over you.

He just nods.

You look down at yourself, realizing your pants are still unbuttoned. You look back up at Joel who’s staring at your panties peaking through your unzipped jeans. His eyes travel back up to yours. You decide to slowly button them back up.

You don’t hear what he says when he peels his eyes away and walks back to his horse. Probably some asshole comment that was better said under his breath.

You both get back on your horses and continue to the ski lodge in silence. Before you scale the one side of the mountain, you hear something.

You keep your eyes peeled for infected. You are almost positive that’s what you’re hearing so you whistle to catch Joel’s attention. You nod to your left, which is the direction you hear the familiar clicking. You grab your rifle from your side saddle, gesturing to Joel to do the same.

You always get this rush when you have to kill infected. It’s not a good rush at all, it’s pure adrenaline.

You dismount again, making sure your horse is tied to a nearby tree. Joel is close behind you as you creep forward towards the noise. The woods are dense with trees but there is also a ton of rock formations that were usually excellent cover.

The clicking gets louder and so does the sound of your heartbeat.

“There,” Joel whispers, gesturing towards a rock. You kneel, creeping up the formation and looking down. There you see not one, not two, but three clickers wondering around a dead deer. It was torn to shreds, blood everywhere. You weren’t bothered by blood at all, it was just the sick smell of decay that got you a bit queasy. You draw your gun up, aiming it towards the clicker closest to you.

“On three,” You murmur to Joel. You knew that you’d had to shoot two at the same time to give you enough time to kill the third with a quick reload.

Joel just nods, drawing his gun up.

“One,” Breath in, “Two,” Hold, “Three” Breath out.

The sounds of guns sent the clicking sounds to an all time high. Your ears are ringing, but you instinctively cock your gun, releasing one shell.

You aim, firing your weapon at the third and final clicker. You hear Joel yell something, but your ears are still ringing.

Then it hits you.

“Three more!”

Every time you’re in a fight or flight situation, you always fight. Old you would run.

You bring your weapon up, noticing Joel’s new position on the boulder. He’s aiming and firing at some infected down hill who are quickly running at you two.

You refocus in searching the area behind you. The last thing you needed was a sneak attack from a stalker. One enters your eye line and you fire. You keep count of how many bullets you have. Three down, four more left.

“Got two on your right!”

You hear Joel’s directions, drawing your weapon up and shooting another stalker between the eyes. The last one was a child, which was always the hardest. You knew that there was no choice, so you pull the trigger, which sent the child flying backwards. You wince a bit, seeing that this was probably just a family who got caught in the wrong situation. You killed all of them in less than a minute. Life wasted.

Silence fills the air, your ears still ringing from endless gunfire. You turn back to Joel who’s breathing heavily and holstering his gun.

You never had to question Joel’s abilities, which made him an excellent patrol partner. He knew exactly how to react in high risk situations.

He made you feel safe.

“Looks like we found one of the hoards Tommy was talking about,” He says, walking up to you, “Lets hope it’s just the one.”

“Glad it was you with me and not Jesse,” You say, relaxing your arm.

“That kid would be dead by now.”

When you’re less than a mile from your stop, you notice some storm clouds taking over the beautiful summer sky. The air starts to change. The wind begins to pick up, blowing your braid back and tickling your bare neck. The air smells like rainwater, sweet and pungent.

You use the silence to think about how simple life use to be. You reminisce about your childhood that was cut too short. You were a young adult when the infection started so you hadn’t been able to get married or settle down with a family. Everything was ripped away from you so prematurely and deep down, you crave that simplicity. Get married, have children, die of old age.

If only you could’ve lived in a world where you didn’t have to kill a child because some random ass fungus took over their humanity.

“We are almost there,” Joel says finally, pulling you out of your thoughts, “We may have to ride out the storm.”

You just nod even though he can’t see you.

The ski lodge was actually very beautiful. It was one of two that was used as a safe house for patrols, this one being your personal favorite. You had been there with Tommy once and he gave you the grand tour. It was reasonably clean for being so old, stocked full of canned items, and had very comfy beds.

You start to bring your horses to the covered back porch when it starts to rain. You grab all your gear, slinging it over your shoulder. Joel jingles a key out of his pocket, racing to the sliding glass doors. He unlocks the door, ripping it open as soon as the rain picks up. You both make it in the quiet lodge, setting your belongings on the kitchen counter.

“I’m going to get the lanterns up and running,” You mumble, heading towards the living room where all the lanterns were scattered about. Joel locks the sliding glass door, before he starts rummaging through his bag.

You turn on as many lanterns as you can, lighting up the room with warm glow.

You find your way onto one of the couches, kicking your boots off.

“Want me to start a fire? We may have to hang out the rest of the night if that storm don’t let up,” Joel questions, sliding his jacket off his shoulders.

You shrug, “Don’t matter.”

He starts to pile up some wood as you find an apple in your bag. You watch him slowly pace back and forth from the wood pile to the huge stone fireplace. You watch his back muscles flex when he picks up a piece of wood. You were using him as a distraction to get you away from those dark thoughts from earlier.

You bite into your apple.

“You bring anythin’ for me?”

Is he fucking with you?

“There’s canned peaches in the cabinets.”

He laughs, lighting the wood with a match. You watch the fire build and build as he messes with the wood. He was squatting, his shirt riding up a bit. Even his lower back was eye catching.

“You don’t wanna share?”

You roll your eyes, “I’m not sharin’ anything with you.”

He turns back to you with a smirk playing on his lips, “Not even a better look at those panties you’re wearing?”

You couldn’t believe your ears.

“Pardon?”

“You heard me, sweetheart.”

You did hear him, of course, but were in denial of the actual intentions behind the words. He creeps closer, finding a spot on the couch next to you. You take another bite of your apple, staring at him with curiosity.

Was he being serious?

You contemplate your options. Do you play into the game? Do you resist and possibly regret it later? He was such an asshole earlier. But then again, he always is. He was before you slept with him. So was that a valid excuse to not play into the game?

You remember the ache between your legs last night after reading a smutty romance novel. You imagined the characters as you and Joel, yet you never wanted to admit it. You knew that you wanted this, but resisting to give him a taste of his own medicine would be satisfying, too.

“Ya know,” He ponders, leaning over to meet your eyes, “I still have your other pair you left at my house.”

You remember the slight panic you felt the morning after when you couldn’t find them. You knew damn well he’d find them somewhere, but you didn’t think he’d keep them.

“Didn’t even know I left them,” You lie, your eyes averting away from him.

You were a horrible liar.

“You’re pretty cute when you lie, sweetheart,” He grabs your chin, tilting your face back to his, “You left them on purpose. Thought you’d use that as an excuse to come crawling back to me.”

He was being smug, you knew that. For some reason, you don’t cave immediately even though the conversation was making you tingle.

“Crawling back to you? Why would I do that?” You question, “When I have all these other guys who will gladly take up my offers.”

He smiles smugly, “Hm, that doesn’t seem very like you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t seem like the type of girl to whore yourself out to a bunch of assholes.”

His finger traces your lower lip, catching it and pulling down. You don’t pull away, soaking up the intense tension in the air.

“You don’t know me, Joel Miller.”

He just stares at your mouth, “I know enough.”

You want to lean in further, push your lips on his and finally surrender to him. But you hold on for a few more seconds. You’re practically quivering under his touch, wanting nothing more to just cut the shit and jump on top of him.

“You told me not to touch you earlier,” he mumbles, “But here you are just fumblin’ over yourself every time I touch ‘ya.”

“Will you just shut the fuck up and kiss me?”

His touch becomes rougher, his one arm pulling you into his lap, the other hand grabbing your face roughly.

“You start talkin’ like that you get nothin’,” his breathing fans your face, blowing your baby hairs away from your forehead, “Be a good girl like before.”

You squirm a bit, trying to lift your head in defiance. It doesn’t work, he has a good grip on you. His eyes are dark as he adjusts you so you are practically mounted on his lap. He releases your face bringing his hand down to your neck. He pulls you down to his lips, connecting them feverishly.

You couldn’t help yourself. You melt into him, your hands wrapping around his neck before sliding them down his chest. His hips are practically rutting into yours. You grind down, moaning out at the contact. You knew that being disobedient wouldn’t get you anywhere, so to get what you want, you knew you’d have to play into his dominance.

He smiles into the kiss, knowing you have been waiting for this moment.

You pull away, pulling your shirt off. He’s looking at you like you’re his next meal. You kind of are.

“Missed these tits,” He says his hands resting on your ribcage, right under your bare breasts, “Best ones I’ve ever seen.”

“Joel,” You groan, fumbling for the button on your pants, “Need you. Bad.”

He chuckles, “Yeah, I know baby.”

He fondles you for a second before latching his lips around your left nipple. His tongue swirls around it before he slightly bites it. You arch your back, wanting more from him but he just pulls away. You roll off his lap, tugging your pants down, including your underwear.

“Ah,” He’s not even paying attention to you butt naked all spread for him, instead he’s leaning down to your pile of clothes. He grabs your panties, holding them up, “Baby pink. You fuckin’ tease.”

“Joel,” You whine, nudging him with your foot, “Enough about my underwear.”

He runs his hands up your leg before standing up and discarding his own shirt and pants. He leaves his briefs on, his cock tenting the gray fabric.

“So eager,” he mocks, “What do you want from me, baby girl? Hm?”

You smile at the million of thoughts running through your head. But you settle for words that you know will drive him wild.

“Do whatever you want to me, Joel.”

He pulls you to the edge of the couch. He’s on his knees like he’s about to pray at the altar to whatever God may exist. Instead, he’s between your legs, speckling your thighs with scratchy kisses. His salt and pepper hair is messy, his sunkissed bare arms highlighted with some freckles. You never noticed them before.

“‘M gonna need your mouth,” He mumbles, raising his fingers to your mouth. You grab his wrist with your hands, lifting his fingers to your lips. You suck on every one, releasing each one with a pop. He watches you with his lips slightly agape, almost hypnotized by the action.

He uses his newly wet fingers to trace your slit before he uses his pointer and middle finger to spread your lips. He’s playing with you, making you writhe underneath his touch. You lift your hips a bit, which causes him to lay his free arm across your lower stomach.

“Patience, sweetheart,” He gives your pussy one lick, “I’ll take care of you, don’t worry.”

He’s good on his word.

He dives into you like a ravenous animal. His tongue hitting every desperate spot within you. You were taken to the same state of mind when he first ate you out. You had no words, just moans of pleasure.

He uses his fingers to toy with your opening, sticking two fingers in initially before he becomes too eager to see you fall apart. He wraps his lips around your swollen clit, suckling and moaning around it. You knew from before that he liked all eyes on him. You watch him as the vibrations mixed with him finger fucking you sends you into your first eye rolling orgasm.

You don’t think you’ve ever cum so fast in your life. It’s a release you’ve been yearning months for, making it even sweeter.

He pulls away, giving your pussy a little slap. It makes you yell out.

“Came without permission, but that’s okay,” He licks his fingers, “You have a couple more in you. You just gotta beg extra for ‘em.”

He was a menace.

You just nod, not able to communicate your actual feelings on him denying you the simple pleasure of cumming all over him. The idea of having to hold back made you a bit eager to see how far you could take it, though.

“Need your mouth now,” He tugs off his underwear, kicking them across the room. You don’t know how, but it almost looks bigger. Maybe it’s the swollen red tip that makes you overawe over it.

“Would you like me on my knees, sir?”

He leers at you, “What a good girl, being so polite… Yes, baby girl, get on your knees in front of me. I wanna see those eyes.”

You crawl off the couch, getting in between his legs. His cock is laying on his lower tummy, just waiting for you. You aren’t super into sucking dick, but this was Joel’s. You know that you had to give it your all. You wanted to give it your all.

You grab ahold of the base of his cock, keeping your eyes on him as you slowly open your lips to take him. Once your hot mouth touches the tip, he hisses in satisfaction.

“Mhm,” He groans, “Take all of it, baby.”

You’re not sure if you can, but you are going to do your very best.

You relax your throat as much as you can, slowly inching his cock down your throat. You’re halfway around it when it hits your gag reflex. You pull back, still keeping his cock wrapped around your lips. You sit up, jerking the base of his cock as you slurp up as much as you can.

“You got it baby,” He encourages, “Relax and take it slow.”

Whenever Joel praises you, you can’t help but let it get to your head.

You take a deep breath in as you take more of him in. Widening your jaw more, you finally get him completely engulfed in your mouth. He twitches inside, which sends a jolt of pleasure to your core. You let him take control, raising his hips a bit to fuck your mouth. He has a hold of your braid, which only adds to the experience. You’ve never had your hair pulled before, but you’re beginning to love the sensation. He’s a moaning mess, chanting your name like a prayer. Your saliva is all over his lower tummy by the time he pulls your mouth away from his cock.

“Gonna make me cum like that if you keep goin’,” He states, pulling you up to his lips. He kisses you, all tongue and teeth, “Let me fuck that pussy, yeah?”

You whimper, “Yes, please.”

“Such a good girl.”

He pulls you up into his lap while you slowly position yourself above him. You loved riding him before and with how sensitive and riled up you were now, you were prepared to ride his cock like it’s the last thing you’d ever do.

He focused his attention on rubbing his cock head between your pussy lips. You bite your lip as soon as he pushes slowly into your entrance. You groan, letting the sweet stretch take ahold of you.

“Atta’ girl,” Joel sighs, “Take all of me in that tight little pussy.”

You gasp as soon as he raises your hips a bit, repositioning how his cock sits inside you. His hand rests on your pelvic bone, pulling you forward. You realize he’s guiding you, helping you grind back and forth on his dick. Every roll of your hips pushes a moan out your throat, making Joel stare up at you with satisfaction. He removes his hands from your hips, bringing his right hand to your throat.

“Fuckin’ Christ, baby girl,” He lets out a wanton moan, while your stomach feels like it’s reaching a boiling point. He realizes how tense your getting so he reaches down with his spare hand, putting more pressure on your clit. “This is my pussy.”

“Mhm.”

“Say it. Say it’s mine.”

“It’s yours, Joel.”

“That’s fuckin’ right, baby girl. All mine.”

“Joel, please,” You cry, “I need to cum.”

“No,” He spits, “You don’t cum until I tell you.”

You clench, trying to resist the release. He notices you slowing down, so he stops choking you. Instead of letting you have a moment to recoup, he grabs your waist again, raising it slightly so he could raise his hips to pound into you. With his fingers still pressing on your bud, he chooses a bruising pace. You are practically screaming, the release imminent.

“Please, please,” You beg, “Joel, I need to.”

He doesn’t stop his assault on your pussy, “You keep beggin’, baby girl. I’ll tell you when.”

“Fuck, fuck,” You can’t stop yourself, the vibration from your incoming orgasm taking over your body, “Please Joel!”

“Cum,” He grits his teeth, “Cum all over this cock, baby girl.”

You have never had an orgasm take over every fiber of your being like it. You throw your head back, yelling Joel’s into the silence of the house. His pace slows down, as your cum soaks his lower half.

“Oh my god,” You groan, not knowing how to formulate a full sentence yet. You were still seeing stars in your vision, as you try to refocus on Joel.

“Holy shit,” He pulls out of you, “You okay?”

You just nod, your head falling forward. Your braid falls over your chest in between your breasts. Joel grabs the end of it, toying with it for a moment while you catch your breath.

“I’ll give you a minute,” He picks you up off him, laying you onto the cushion next to him. You grab his hand as he tries to pull away.

“I don’t need one,” You were still spent from the first two orgasms, it was written all over your face. Joel just chuckles, positioning himself over your body. He cages you in, tilting your face so you make eye contact.

“You ready for me already?”

“Need you.”

He uses his leg to part your thighs, settling between you again. He was still hard, his cock nudging your swollen wet opening.

“I want your eyes on me,” He commands.

“Yes, sir.”

He pushes into you again, your mouth parting in a gasp at how sensitive you were.

He smiles at your reaction while he settles into a steady pace. You try to focus on him, watching his facial expressions as he dives into you over and over again.

Joel had to be sculpted by whatever God created him. Every part of him was angular, his cheekbones quite high. His nose was just about perfect, especially from the side. His side profile was everything.

You truly didn’t think he looked his age. The only thing that kind of gave him away was the grays speckled through his dark hair. Other than that, the guy was a sex god.

You are too busy to admiring him, you don’t even realize how close he is. He’s gripping onto your hips, probably bruising them with how tightly he’s holding them. The way his dick twitches inside you, sends that familiar rush back into your body.

He’s not breaking eye contact. You smirk while he groans pushing harder into you.

“You better cum inside me,” You murmur, “Want you to fill me up.”

“God,” He cries, “So fucking flithy.”

And he loved that about you.

He releases into you with a loud sigh. You don’t teeter over that edge until he pulls out of you, looking to see his work.

He uses his two fingers, pushing them inside you, then back out. He rubs his cum onto your clit, slapping it a couple times. When you jolt in pleasure, he smiles knowingly.

“One more time?”

He positions himself between your legs again. He’s fingering you so lazily but it’s still enough to have you crying out in pleasure. You don’t even have time to respond to him, before you’re falling over the edge and cumming once more.

You lay there, trying to catch your breath again. Joel stands up on wobbly legs, making his way to the nearby bathroom. You didn’t know if this house would be stocked with rags or anything, so when Joel comes out with a folded blanket, you can’t help but giggle.

“This is all we got,” He gestures towards the blanket, “We can burn it when we finish with it.”

You take it from him, running it between your legs. The wooley fabric scratched a bit, but you didn’t have one care in the world.

Until you get a familiar sinking feeling. Like you did something very wrong.

You sit up while Joel takes the blanket, cleaning up himself. You try to stand, your legs feeling like jelly. You pick up your panties from the floor next to Joel’s clothes. You start to grab each of your clothing items, throwing them on as you go. You watch as he does the same.

“I guess this means you don’t hate me,” You mutter, not knowing what to say after what just occurred. You felt guilty and sick with anxiety.

If anyone else sat in on this day with Joel, they’d say the same thing. The way he talks to you, how annoyed he was to be stuck with you on patrol today, everything. It’d make anyone feel not wanted.

He shoots you a glance, “I never hated you.”

He says it with such conviction that you wince, not sure whether to believe him.

“You have ignored me for months. You fought with Tommy because you were stuck with me today. And then on the way here, you yelled at me for having to pee. Called me dum-”

“I didn’t call you dumb.”

You breath in sharply, “You’re just impossible, you know that?”

He shakes his head. You know he wants to say something smart back, but it never comes.

Instead he sits down beside you, keeping his eyes down at his feet. You wait for him to speak for what feels like a lifetime.

“Listen,” He huffs, “I don’t hate you. I am just not good at…”

“Being nice to people?”

He smirks, finally looking up at you, “Sure, but hey… I don’t regret anything that happened. I enjoy our… time together.”

You wanted to strangle him.

After months of contemplating what went wrong, he tells you he doesn’t regret anything.

After spending all that time acting like he did.

You wear your emotions all over your face and Joel realizes it quickly. He rests his hand on your knee, a gentle gesture that makes your heart rate increase by a thousand.

“You made me feel like shit for months,” You admit, trying to hold your composure, “I’ve felt like an idiot since the moment Ellie walked in that morning. You made me feel that way, Joel. You made me feel stupid. And here I am, all this time later, and I still feel fucking dumb. Maybe even dumber now, since I just let you fuck me again.”

His hand travels up to cup your cheek. You felt like crying, but you knew that it wouldn’t do you any good.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel that way, darlin’,” He confesses, “I am sorry for everythin’.”

You felt like you were being manipulated. You always had a terrible time figuring out what a genuine apology looked like. You were used to being exploited and having your heart ripped out and stomped on.

You turn away from his hand, looking out the back sliding glass door. The rain is coming down, pitter pattering on the tin roof over your head. You see lightning go across the sky, hearing the loud crack of thunder seconds later.

You pondered if you should just run in the other direction. Away from Joel, away from the emotions and memories that were being sludged up from the deepest pits of your brain.

“When I grabbed you earlier, you had this horrified look on your face…” Joel starts, bringing your attention back, “It was a face ‘d seen more than a few times. That look of disbelief and fear.”

You just let him continue, not looking him the eyes.

“I never wanna to make you feel that way,” He admits, “I never wanna scare you or hurt you. I knew in that moment, I was using that pent up anger at myself towards you.I just… I spent so much time tryin’ to find ways to keep you away from me because I don’t wanna disappoint you or hold you back.”

You finally look back up at him.

“I am sick of findin’ ways to keep you away. I like havin’ you around.”

You want to believe him so badly.

“I like having you around, too, Joel. I just…” You stammer, “I just need a bit, okay?”

He bows his head, “Yeah, ‘course. Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll take watch and wait for the rain to let up.”

You take up his offer, stalking off to the nearby bedroom. You just wanted space, a moment of peace and quiet. Your body was still recovering from the greatest orgasms of your life, now your mind is littered with a million emotions you didn’t know how to muddle through. Once you lay down on the old bed, you realize that sleep would probably bring you back to life a bit. You close your eyes, letting your mind ease out of the chaos of reality.

–

When you wake up, you don’t hear anymore rain. You only hear the crackling of the fireplace. You don’t know how long you’ve been sleeping, which sends you into a slight panic. You waltz out into the living room, seeing Joel lounging on the couch you defiled and reading. It was a random novel, probably from the large bookcase in the hallway.

“We good to head back?” You question.

“Yeah, let’s get home ‘fore they send out a search party.”

You watch him stretch his shoulders as he stands, his jaw clenched in an unrelaxed way. His hair is messy and standing in different directions from the way he was laying. It makes you smile.

“Hey Joel,” You say, walking closer to him, “When we get back to Jackson, would you want to go out to dinner or something?”

His gaze softens. You were really trying, he could tell.

Your rested mind decided it was time to just jump head first.

If Joel was being honest with his intentions, maybe it was time for you to be honest with yourself, too.

“I’d like that, sweetheart.”

“It’s a date, then.”

taglist: @pedrotonin @mysingularitybts @harriedandharassed @paleidiot @misatoad @lottieellz101

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #the last of us #joel miller the last of us #joel miller one shot #pedro pascal #cool about it #joel miller tlou #joel miller x you #joel x reader #joel miller x reader smut #gracielovespedro

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ashessonfire · 8 months

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Bonjour, lovely!! I adore your fics, your choice of words are just *✧delectable✧⁠* and I'm amazed at how you beautifully written Kaz. If you may, could you write a little fluff with the reader being a skilled painter/sculptor and she helps the crows in art forgery. (I personally love when there's a little angsty yearning in the mix but I trust you will blow it out of the waters). Mercii!!

Stolen hearts - Kaz Brekker x Reader

Prompt : As a crow who specializes in art, what happens when Kaz stumbles upon one of your personal sketchbooks and gets a little jealous? - Pairing : Kaz Brekker x Reader - Warnings : Jealous Kaz, Kaz being an idiot, he gets a bit upset but nothing too crazy :)

A/N : Hi my loves, this is a pretty long one but I ADORED this idea, and so I let myself run with it.This may just be one of my favourite things I have ever written so I really hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing this!! As always requests are open, and please check my list here for other characters I write for!!

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(Also it seems as if we are getting closer to finding out if we are getting a SOC spin off!! After the writers strikes we should hopefully know, so lets try keep the Grishaverse fandom alive on here!! <3 )

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"You want me to recreate that in two days? Kaz, the original is painted in oils, they don't even dry in that time!" You exclaimed, peering over the top of a stolen painting at your boss, his gaze hard yet not harsh.

"I am aware," Kaz began, "But that's why I hired you, isn't it? You have not missed a deadline once, and I know you won't miss it now," his firm voice rung out into the acoustics of his office.

And of course, he was right.

Although you would have to take a few shortcuts, you could feel your fingertips twitching against the oak frame of the piece, mind already composing each element of the scene. Tucking it beneath your arm, you let out a gentle sigh, nodding swiftly in his direction before departing from the room.

He had saved you, and this painting was only a fragment in your repayment of Kaz Brekker.

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A fire had swept through your village just beyond the confines of the Barrel, leaving you with nothing but your pouch, filled to the brim with pencils, inks, and as many types of paper as you had been able to salvage. The corners of your paintings began to singe as your home was engulfed, pain piercing your heart as you sprinted down the path to evade the impenetrable walls of flame.

Ketterdam beckoned you into her grip, as you ventured through the dim alleyways until shadow gave way to dazzling light displays. The Lid revealed itself to you, and with no other choice you slotted yourself in with the penniless street merchants that lined the alleys of Ketterdam.

For years, you offered sketches, portraits, and paintings to the rich tourists that marveled at Ketterdam's wonders. Although mere pennies were offered in exchange for your work, it was enough to renew your supplies and evade sleeping by the canal, or being trampled by tourists.

As time crawled along your skills blossomed, transforming your rough ideas into magnificent pieces, worthy of far more than a few kruge. Soon, you began to slip into galleries, memorizing each stroke until your mind could guide your hands without a single thought. Portraits that were worth thousands were then being passed into clueless pigeon's hands for only a few hundred kruge, as your skills were unmatched in the art of forgery.

Little did you know that you were being kept under the watchful eye of Kaz Brekker's wraith, your talents being thoroughly observed and reported back to the leader of the crows.

You were able to swindle the pigeons for a few months until the Watchstadt began to take note of the remarkable artistry of your paintings. Overnight, the tides of your fortune changed, awaking one evening to the thudding of leather against stone, inching closer to you as each moment passed.

In a desperate attempt to escape your fate, you clutched your belongings and shot down a back alley, shadows offering you a blanket of protection from the moon's shimmering light. However it seemed as if your luck had reached its limit, as several guards barreled out in front of you, as your other exits were swiftly stolen from you.

Tears began to blur your vision, lightheadedness overtaking your senses, the guard's words became muffled and distant, as panic overtook your being. You were barely aware of a gentle voice calling you from your terror, a soft hand wiping away the beads of pain falling from your eyes.

In the hours that followed, you scarcely registered anything but your gratitude towards Inej, and ultimately to Kaz who had been increasing the hours that his wraith was sent to protect you. In a few swift meetings, Kaz Brekker had settled a deal with you, sheltering you from the darkness of the Barrel, whilst securing a valuable new member of the crows.

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"Thank the saints that that is over," Jesper all but shouted, falling backwards onto the sofa in the common room of the slat. Placing yourself on a worn armchair opposite, you felt somewhat peaceful as your painting had been so seamless that the entire mission was cut short by a few hours.

After jobs, each crow fell into their own routines to unwind the tension that undeniably interwove into each of them. Kaz's cane thumped lightly against the creaking oak of the staircase, ascending to his room to continue plotting. Hushed whispers often omitted from Wylan and Jesper as they basked in each other's company.

Inej was usually missing, as she was now, exploring the endless expanses of rooftops whilst allowing the bitter air to cool her down. Taking in the couple across from you, and a now slumbering Nina beside you, you reached for the familiar leather binding of your sketchbook.

The glowing embers of the low-lit fire cast soft shadows on your friends, and the light washes of orange and red watercolour aided in your attempt to capture the peaceful scene unfolding before you. However, the absence of a certain presence pulled you from your portrait, thoughts straying to the man who undoubtedly was scheming once more in his office.

Since joining his crew, a small fondness for the "demjin" had harbored itself deep within your heart, impenetrable and unmoving. He treated you with a cold kindness, gifting you small tins of expensive paints, or the latest papers, completely dismissing the fact they were irrelevant to your job.

With a short shake of your head, the thoughts dispelled, returning your mind to the clarity it needed to produce your sketch, the flames from the fireplace dimming as the room began to fall into shadow. The peace that art instilled you with returned, as your heartbeat slowed and a sense of calm washed over you with each brushstroke.

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Settling into his chair, Kaz let out a short breath, tension easing slightly from his body as relief gripped him, all thanks to you. Your painting had exceeded his expectations, not a single person suspecting the image to have been forged, and the original stolen into the possession of the Dregs.

Few things could entrance Kaz Brekker, yet something about the way your colours melted into each other, or the clear emotion engrained into every miniscule detail of a painting pulled him in. Perhaps the depth of your sculptures, or the smooth yet carefully crafted edges of the clay coming to life in his imagination were to blame for his admiration for you.

Kaz's mind wandered as he thoughtlessly ridded his desk of it's papers, hastily stacking them into neat piles as he tried to shake his thoughts of you.

Suddenly, Kaz was startled from his inner battle, gloved fingers brushing against a foreign texture, a hard leather cover of, something? Curiosity urged him to retrieve the book from underneath the blueprints and paperwork, eyes scanning over the front in search of a clue as to what the binding held.

Carefully undoing a well tied string, the front page fell flat against his weathered desk, the candle beside him offering a gentle illumination. Kaz's breath caught in his throat as he recognized the contents of the book, the etches of the pencil being too precise to belong to any person, but you.

The charcoal marks formed on the fraying page to portray Jesper, content as he sat on a patterned bar stool in the Crow Club, eyes slightly creased in content. Thumbing to the next page, Kaz discovered another depiction of his sharpshooter, however this time he was polishing his guns. Unlike the previous image, Jesper was now depicted in a light wash of colour, bringing him seemingly to life.

Enchanted by your work, Kaz continued to marvel at each sketch and painting, however a sharp feeling grabbed at his chest as he came to a realization. Apart from a few pages here and there, the subject that lined the parchment was always Jesper. Turning the pages increasingly quicker, a feeling of dread seeped into his stomach, a twisting combination of jealousy and annoyance building within him.

A gentle knock broke him from these thoughts, as your voice called out in the hope you would be permitted entry. Carefully, Kaz slid your sketchbook to the opposite end of his desk, pretending to analyze a discarded stack of papers before allowing you in.

"Hey Kaz, I was just coming to check in on you, I didn't get to catch up with you after..." you began, speech diminishing as your eyes fell upon the bronzed edges of one of your sketchbooks. Your eyes lit up as you began to grin.

"You left it on my desk," Kaz stated, trying desperately to burry the knot in his stomach, as your expression brightened at the thought of finding the book full of Jesper. "I've been looking everywhere for this one, thank you Kaz," you respond, hastily reclaiming the book, folding it snuggly between your arms and your chest.

"It shouldn't be here," Kaz snapped, a sharp tone piercing the previously warm atmosphere, "It's your personal sketchbook, so it needs to stay personal. Understand?" Kaz bit out, stunning you into silence as you backed away towards the door.

"Oh," you began, "I didn't mean to leave it here," voice cracking as you battled through the shock of his manner, and the hurt of him snapping at you. "Make sure I don't see it again, although I'm sure Jesper would love to," Kaz concluded, practically spitting out your friend's name.

The dismay you felt began to ebb away as you took in your boss' expression more closely, your upset being replaced with something resembling humour. "Kaz," your voice quietly began, "You're not jealous, are you?" you question.

Although the room remained silent, his features spoke a thousand words to you, his eyes widening fractionally to reveal fright, face becoming tinged by a rosy blush. Before you could utter another word, Kaz had guided you to the arched doorway, pushed you through the threshold, and slammed the door before you could witness the tips of his ears turning crimson.

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Through the warped glass pane of his window, Kaz was stirred by the early rays of sunrise, face gently caressed by each stream of light that infiltrated the darkness. Despite the restless sleep he gained, the bastard was surprised he had managed to fall unconscious at all.

From the moment he had shut the door on you, feelings of jealousy and shame had consumed him. He swore he had heard a splinter echo throughout his chest as he recalled the hurt spreading across your face the previous evening.

Letting out a short breath of frustration, he slowly contorted his stiff limbs into a sitting position, and only then did his gaze cast onto the unfamiliar shade of leather perching on his nightstand. Unease began to spread through his body, fingertips sparking with anticipation as he reached over to retrieve the sketchbook.

Frustration began to wrestle with the discontent, as he unwound the ribbon binding the wrinkled pages together, yet the colour of the leather seemed to shift underneath his gaze. Unlike the book he had previously discovered, this one was made of a darker material which he could only liken to the darkness of midnight. As he angled the cover, flecks of gold appeared, the early sun dancing light off of each one, illuminating the leather as if it were a sky full of stars

Nimbly undoing the ribbon on the side, the first page fell open, and to his surprise, a neatly penned note fell out of the cover, revealing an image behind it that Kaz was sure he would have permanently engraved in his memory. A pair of sharp eyes met his own, and his breath caught in his throat as he questioned whether he was glimpsing into some sort of mirror.

With a desperation he himself could not even comprehend, Kaz began to flip through the pages, the guilt he had initially felt now burning him from the inside out, singeing at his chest. Each portrait captured his every emotion, each stroke precise and beautiful in a way he had never experienced before.

Gently unfolding the corners of the note, Kaz's gaze deepened with each curling letter of your short message -

Dear Mr Brekker,

After your discovery yesterday, I thought it only fair to also show you your notebook too. I have one for each of the crows, yourself included, and so I kindly ask you not to panic further about Jesper being the only muse of my pieces.

Love, your favourite artist

P.S ~ You also have a second book, if you are interested.

Kaz's breath hitched at the word 'love' before his mind could even comprehend it, head spiraling with thoughts of you as he pictured your gentle teasing laughter as you penned the note to him. The guilt and shame became so consuming in that second that his chest constricted, and he knew the only way he could alleviate the weight was by visiting you.

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A sharp knock pierced through the silence of your room, pen stopping mid point as you called a gentle welcome to the man behind the door. Kaz's figure slowly filled the doorframe, waistcoat slightly untucked, and hair somewhat out of place as if he had raced to see you.

A teasing grin began to illuminate your features, and the sunrise seeping through your window was more than bright enough to display Kaz's rose dusted cheeks as he averted his gaze. Without so much as a sound passing through his pursed lips, a gloved hand directed itself towards you, clutching onto the dark sketchbook.

You smile faltered, the glimmer seeping from your eyes as your lips fought to stay curved, as you questioned, "You didn't like it?" Kaz shifted his dark gaze to meet your own, brows lightly furrowing as he grumbled "I thought you might want it back."

Your gaze softened as the walls you had been beginning to construct around your heart crumbled, "Oh, I meant it more like a gift Kaz, plus I have several more books dedicated to you anyway," you uttered tenderly. The figure before you lowered his head towards the object in his hands, knuckles whitening beneath his leather gloves as his grip hardened.

After a fleeting moment of your boss' gaze sweeping over your features, he gave a swift nod in gratitude, the scent of ink and secrets trailing behind him as he ventured back to his office. Disappointment clung to your chest at his swift departure, hoping that he would have remained in your presence for a few moments more.

However, as your gaze travelled upwards to glimpse at his departing figure, you noticed how he had faltered in your doorway. His broad shoulders were facing you, allowing you to to observe every deep yet ragged breath that lifted his chest.

"I..." He began, voice so low that it was barely audible, "I'm sorry for last night, I shouldn't have said those things to you," Kaz almost spat out, the words tasting foreign on his lips as he attempted to quickly escape to the confines of his office.

"Kaz," you called out, hope unravelling the knots of anxiety from previously, leaving you with streams of a newfound confidence, "I just thought you should know you are my favourite subject. No one else in Ketterdam seems to have a better facial structure than yours."

Kaz could hear the thick inflections of your smirk within your words, ribbons of humour intertwining with each letter you spoke. Despite your teasing being met with a remarkably loud silence, your words had planted themselves deep inside Kaz's heart.

Racing back towards his office, the beat of his cane against the oak panels of the slat hastened by the second.

Yet not even they could match the pace at which Kaz's heart was beating, as his mind replayed your words over and over in his head until the way the word "favourite" was all he could hear.

Thinking back to your short note, Kaz's lips formed a ghost of a smile, since not only were you his favourite, but he was yours.

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Kaz Brekker tag list : @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @ell0ra-br3kk3r @swhisperer @sleepynightchild @atlasiiae @kaiinohh @sannunah28 @at-the-chateau @withbeautyandragendrage @animalistic00 @whos6claire @any-corrie @daisydark @shara-ne @xxinvisiblexx @ldhpeter @viperinferno @kozbtchx @wishyouwere-sober (please comment if you would like to be added to the Kaz Brekker taglist)

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P.S - The best way to support writers on here is to repost / repost + add tags! If you could spend a minute or so doing this, it would mean the world <3

#kaz brekker x reader #six of crows x reader #six of crows #shadow and bone #six of crows imagine #kaz brekker #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader imagines #kaz brekker x you #shadow and bone season 2 #ashessonfire #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker headcanons

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spdrvyn · 1 month

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im begging for miguel x reader where he’s sick/tired/woke up from a nightmare and is in desperate need of shooting. so she takes care of him - pure domestic contentment- grooming him/washing/shaving/brushing hair/towel drying/changing clothes (and socks 🥺)/feeding him - doing everything to relax him and make him feel loved

solace in your sweetness

summary: in the deep trenches of the night, miguel wakes up due to night terrors and you're very deadset on comforting him. no matter how many times he denies you that.

tags: hurt/comfort. very sweet and fluffy. reader isn't a spider-person. fem!reader.

notes: i love this request so so much, i have been ITCHING to do it. thank you so much for requesting, i hope you enjoy reading this one!

Miguel didn't really have nightmares when he was younger. On the occasion that Gabe would bother him to watch a scary movie, there would be instances where he had them, but it wasn't a regular occurence. How naïve was he when he thought that he'd be able to leave those behind in his youth?

It started simple, he would be in the barren, empty streets of Nueva York. Before he would slowly watch every thing dissolve around him, glitch by glitch, pixel by pixel, unable to do anything but to just stand there, before he fell into the abyss and woke up.

The darkest part of his mind had always managed to make the scenario more horrifying, another time it was zombies, another time it was zombies again, but of only Gabriella. There was even a version where he was being chased by the other dead version of himself. He consulted many articles, read and bought a lot of books, and even tried meditating, but none of it worked so he just decided to live with it for a while. It wasn't like they happened every night, no big deal.

Though, it was a big deal to you. Which was his true fear, he didn't want you to fawn over something so trivial. He didn't want you to go out of your way to take care of him, despite how much it would fill the big, gaping hole in his heart.

So when he jolts awake from another night terror, he keeps himself as quiet as possible. He slowly looked over to the side of your bed, relieved to see that you were still in a peaceful sleep. He shifts silently and keeps his footsteps light as he makes his way over to the kitchen for some tea. The calming, minty aroma sweeped his senses, but it'd be better to work right now instead of relax.

He went back to the bedroom, setting the teacup down on the bedside before pulling out a small tablet. He winced as it opened, the brightness of it hurting his eyes even with glasses on. After lowering it, he immediately goes to rifle through his files.

That is until he felt the weight of your head on his shoulders, you looked up at him with a frown. "You're working."

"I am," Miguel spoke like he was caught with a hand in the cookie jar. As embarrassed as he was, it was too late. You should probably be going back to sleep, he remembered that you also had work early tomorrow. "I just got thirsty, go back to sleep, cariño."

A bald-faced lie, would you believe it or would you not? Your brows furrowed and your pout deepened, it made Miguel's palms sweat. Moments like these forced him to think if you really did have superpowers, there were too many instances where it seemed like you read his mind word for word.

"Why are you lying to me, Miguel?" Shock. It was his face, wasn't it? "Did you have any another nightmare? Why didn't you wake me up?"

Miguel's pride had shattered, you were too good at this. A little more and you'd be unmasking every single villain in the city. "You need to be up early, I just didn't want to ruin your beauty sleep." He closed his files and turned off his tablet, this was his fate now.

You all but groaned at his remark, kicking the bedsheets off of your body before stamping out of the bedroom. "Where are you-"

"Stay there, don't move an inch." He didn't want to incur God's wrath, so he obeys. Crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the pillows, his smell picked up on the scent of food being freshly cooked. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was, but by the lord, it smelled delicious.

Miguel was left there to wait for a while, this sort of reminded him of his younger days too, granted a lot more blissful. There were times when he was younger where Gabe had nightmares too, he'd come knocking on Miguel's door, asking if he could stay there for a while or if he could play video games with him.

To which Miguel would begrudgingly agree, but he normally tried to keep Gabe as uninterested in whatever they were doing as possible so that he could fall asleep already. This usually resulted in him falling asleep then Miguel having to sleep on the couch, but it was whatever. I mean, he only stopped doing that at the young age of 11.

So now being the one taken care of, it made Miguel feel like there was an outside force tipping the scales. After being a caretaker, one way or another, his whole life, having you step in and take him for a breather was like seeing a fish head on a lion's body.

You came back soon enough with a plate and spoon in hand, it was made clear to Miguel exactly what you were cooking. Tomato sauce with meatballs, you diced a small bit of the beef with the spoon before scooping some soup up, bringing it close to his mouth. "Ahhh,"

"I can eat on my—"

"Ahhhhh."

"For shock's sake—" he quickly took a bite, his eyes lit up as he swallowed. "It's good."

You smiled knowingly, finally allowing him to feed himself as you handed him the plate. "I know," then your expression hardened. "I'd like to talk to you about what you dreamt about, if that's okay with you." Miguel sighed, reaching over to the bedside to take a long sip of his tea.

His heart told him that it was perfectly fine for you to know about what was troubling him for so long now, but his mind, his rationale, told him to shut his trap about anything that could cause you any sort of worry or distress. When he doesn't respond to you after another moment, you lean in closer.

"Miguel, I'm always going to worry about you." You whispered, "That's just how I am, but it's because I love you. I love you so much that I can feel how much you're hurting even when you're trying to hide it from me."

"I love you too," he closed the gap to press a kiss to the crease on your forehead, you released a short breath. "I just- I don't know how to say it, I guess."

You placed a hand on his chest, "I can put the pieces together, I just want you to get this off your chest." He wished he had the ability to deny you, you're his weakness, especially when you bat your eyelashes and look at him so sweetly like you have all the love in the world to give.

He tells you as much as he can about his dream, it's all a mess. There were many parts that he wished he could just go back and erase, he didn't even want to go through with this idea in the first place. But you were so... understanding of him, it felt creepy. Not creepy, that wasn't the right word, but it was unsettling.

Being comforted by someone else always made Miguel feel like the other person had a 'holier than thou' attitude, that or he was horribly pitied to the point where he didn't want to keep opening up anymore. You carried none of those qualities, you simply nodded, listened in pure silence, but you'd chime in with some remarks every now and again. He doesn't know how he got so lucky with you.

You gave him some advice. Miguel's experiences were gut-wrenching which resulted to his night terrors, but you could share the sentiment. To some degree, at least. The advice was to just talk about it, letting that feeling build over time and dreading the next time you fall asleep would result to more casualties in the long run. And that if he had no other people to turn to, you were the first on his roster (granted he'd talk to you first anyway, but that's besides the point).

After putting away his empty plate, you joined him in bed again, it's probably still very late into the night, only three hours until you get up for work, but you didn't mind as long as you got to spend it with Miguel. However he wishes to.

The feeling of yours lips on his forehead, face nuzzled into his hair while your fingers drew shapes into his back.

The way he wrapped his arms around your hips, slotting one of his legs in between yours, and the sound of your heartbeat.

He falls into a blissful sleep, knowing you will protect him from the horrors that lurk in the shadows. For once in his life, Miguel has been taken care of and he's so glad that it's you.

#spiderman: across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #atsv #spiderman #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #fluff #hurt/comfort

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