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samthemarvelfan · 4 years

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Goodbyes: Chapter Seven

Summary: Ella Monroe is the Avengers newest recruit, handpicked by Steve Rogers himself. Indebted to him for reasons unknown, Cap pairs her up with Bucky Barnes. He is tasked with training her to relearn and hone the skills that have long since rusted. Bucky is cold and distant, and Ella can’t seem to break through the wall he’s built up for decades. He sees something in her though, and it scares him to death. Has the fate of these two strangers been sealed? …or will they always be longing…

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC, feat Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Tony Stark

Warnings: DARKER THEMES AHEAD. Angst, Bucky is a dick, mutual pining, self sabotage, PTSD, Fluff! Mentions of Panic attacks, flashbacks, and vomiting Def not following a specific MCU canon or timeline.

A/N: WOW! I am so grateful for all the love! Thank you so much @captain-rogers-beard for taking the time to not only read, but enjoy and reblog my work! i am honored! Please enjoy this hastily written chapter. (life is hard, but i love yall so much(

Taglist:@iheartsebastianstan @jjlizz @stuckysbabe @sk493494 @lefoutoir @nickangel13 @marvelismysafezone @lilulo-12 @heartofagamotto (strikethrough means the tag didn’t work! I’m sorry! Tags are OPEN!)

Bucky should have kissed her.

When he woke up, it was the only thing on his mind. He would do just about anything to turn the clock back, so he could grab her face in his hands and feel her pillowy lips against his.

Just imagining it sent a familiar heat to Bucky’s lower abdomen.

“Hey Iceman, what’s up?” Sam said as he entered the training room.

Bucky looked up, shaken out of his daydream, “Hey Sam, hows it going?”

Sam feigned a look of shock, “Wow you’re in a good mood this mornin’! Any particular reason why? Hm?”

Bucky smiled to himself as he moved equipment to make space, “I’m not sure what you mean.”

Sam laughed, “Whatever you say, just tell me one thing—y’all fuck yet or what?”

Bucky stopped dead in his tracks, “What?”

“You and Ella. Did you guy fuck yet?”

His causal tone threw Bucky for a loop. Bucky swallowed hard and shook his head, “Sam it’s not..I don’t...I’m just—“

“See that’s your problem right there,” Sam interjected, “you don’t know what the hell you want with that girl, but you know you want her. I’ve seen you guys in a room together, the sexual tension is off the charts.”

Bucky laid mats down in the center of the room, “Sam, she’s just a—“

“A recruit. Yeah I know, but if you think for one second I believe that’s all you see her as then Iceman, I got some baaaad news for you.”

Sam took a sip from his water bottle, taking in Bucky’s expression. He looked happy on the surface, but Sam saw the dissatisfaction wading underneath.

“Bucky,” Sam called. He only ever used his name when he was serious. “Why are you so hard on that girl? It’s so obvious you two are crazy about one another. Why are you pushing her away?”

Bucky looked up to Sam, and simply shook his head. “I’m not good. For her or anybody else...but especially her.”

Sam look at him confused, “What the hell is that suppose to mean?”

Bucky sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Don’t you think I would love to be a guy who could have a girl like that on my arm without worrying I might kill her? That I could take her out somewhere and not have this constant paranoia hanging over my head like a guillotine ready to drop at any second?”

Bucky hadn’t said these thoughts out loud to anyone, not even Steve. “Sam she’s...she’s everything I want but can never have. I gotta keep my distance, but she makes it impossible. I’m mean to her, downright cruel, and boy, does she give it back to me...” Bucky smiled and let out a chuckle at the thought.

“But she’s kind. She’s so sweet and genuine and I-I’m a time bomb. Ella...she’s been through hell and back. I don’t want her to have to go through anything like that again.”

Sam stood in front of his friend, seeing the pain in his eyes. He sighed taking a step toward Bucky, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Does she make you happy?”

Bucky looked up confused, “Did you not just hear m—“

“Does. She. Make. You. Happy?” Sam repeated.

Bucky nodded slowly, “She makes me feel alive again. After feeling nothing for almost a century.”

Sam nodded to himself. “If I were you Barnes? I wouldn’t push away my chance at happiness. Who knows? You might be her chance too.”

You look through the doors to the training room and see Sam with Bucky.

Is he passing me off to Sam again? You think.

You take a deep breath and push the door open. They stop their conversation and Sam turns to you.

“What’s up, Punchline? How you doin’?” He asks happily.

You can’t help but smile, his grin is infectious. “Hey Sam, you joining in on the fun today?” You ask, hoping for a regretful answer.

Sam shakes his head, “No, apparently Barnes wants you all to himself. Isn’t that right, Iceman?”

You look to Bucky whose gaze is unwavering, “Ella needs an actual trainer, not a comedian with a whistle.” He jests.

Sam’s jaw drops open slightly and you let out a small giggle.

“Alright, alright. I see when I’m not wanted. Catch ya later, Punchline. And Barnes, I’ll see you in hell.” He flips Bucky off on his way out the door, and you can’t help but laugh.

A few moment pass as a comfortable silence falls over the room. You try not too, but you can’t help but remember the last time you were here. When you were alone with Sergeant Barnes, and what happened.

When he almost killed you.

He noticed the sudden discomfort in your eyes. “Hi, Els.” His smooth, honey voice calls to you; drawing you in.

“Hey, Sarge.” You reply kindly.

He steps forward, testing the waters. “Bucky.” He says.

You look at him confused. “What?”

“Bucky. Use my name. Please.” He says quietly.

“But I thought—“

“I like your voice. The way you say my name...I like it.” His boldness takes you by surprise, but nonetheless you smile.

A small nod, “Bucky.” You say happily.

He smiles back, a real genuine smile. One of the first you think you’ve seen from him.

“Where’s your sling, Doll?” He asks concerned.

“Oh,” you say baring your bandage covered shoulder to him. “When I woke up this morning, my shoulder was...I don’t know. It feels...different? The wound itself still hurts but somehow, it feels healed.”

Bucky’s brow furrows, “Can I?” He gestured to the bandage, and you nod.

He gently sweeps your hair behind your shoulder, rubbing circles on the exposed skin.

When he pulls back the bandage he can’t help but be a little curious.

“Have you ever been injured like this before?” He asks, replacing the bandage.

You shake your head. “No, when I was...where I was, they were very careful not to hurt me this bad.”

“Why’s that?” He asked.

You smile sadly, “Can’t use a punching bag with a hole in it, can you?”

A flash of anger dances in Bucky’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Doll.”

You shrug, “I can’t change the past, no point in living in it.” You push the flashbacks out as they threaten your mind once again. You’re not going to ruin this. Not this time.

Bucky strokes your arm a few times, before his hand grasps at yours loosely. “When HYDRA had you, Steve said they experimented on you?”

He asks like he’s afraid of both your reaction and your answer.

You nod. “Yeah. They injected me with so many solutions and serums. I have no idea what any of it was or did.”

Bucky smiled softly and gently thumbed your knuckles. “Well whatever it was, one of them must have helped you with healing. Steve and I share that trait too. Cuts heal in hours, fractures and breaks in a few days.”

You nod thoughtfully to yourself. “Huh, finally a perk from those assholes.”

He dropped your hand softly, “We’re gonna take it easy still...I don’t wanna push you too hard.”

A laugh escapes your lips before you can stop it.

“What?” Bucky asks curiously.

“Who are you and what have you done with the real Sergeant Barnes?” You ask sarcastically.

Without missing a beat, Bucky steps into you, cupping your cheek with his hand. The pad of his thumb is swept over your cheekbone tenderly, prickling your skin with goosebumps.

“I’m trying to be me. The real me. We got off to a terrible start and that’s my fault. I’m sorry.” His voice is so genuine and honest, it takes you by surprise.

“You like keeping me on my toes, huh?” You ask.

He nods fondly, “I could say the same about you, ya k now.”

Silence crept into the room, blanketing the air you shared with him. Suddenly, you can’t help but look to his lips.

It would be so easy to kiss him, too easy. You look down to Bucky’s feet hoping to shake the eagerness from your bones, but it doesn’t help.

“Look at me, Els...” he coaxes you.

You catch his gaze again, and your breathing hitches in your chest.

“I’m gonna earn your trust, Doll. I promise.” Bucky whispers.

Before you had the chance to reply, a chime echoed in the room.

“Excuse me, Sergeant Barnes you’re needed urgently in briefing room C.” FRIDAY’s accent called out.

He looked confused for a moment, “On whose order?”

“Mr. Stark’s.” It was a simple reply, but a telling one nonetheless.

Bucky looked at you quickly, “Let’s go.”

On your way back to the compound, you couldn’t help the nervous feeling in your stomach. Since Tony retired, he never helped out for missions. He came in a few times a month to check on the property and get debriefings from the staff, but his main job was being a Dad.

That’s why when you heard it was him calling for Bucky, you knew something was up.

“What do you think it is?” You asked Bucky, shoving your hands deep in your pockets.

The elevator doors opened and Bucky ushered you out, placing his hand on the small of your back.

“Not sure, but if Tony’s involved it can’t be good.”

As you approached the room, you saw Cap, Bruce, Sam and Wanda at the table, Tony heading the meeting.

You slowed, allowing Bucky to walk ahead of you.

“Come on, Doll.” He said matter-of-factly.

You shook your head, “They didn’t ask for me.”

Bucky chuckled, “Just come on.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you with him.

The room got instantly quiet. “Look who decided to join us...” Sam jested.

“Hey, Buck.” Steve said kindly.

You sat in the chair by the door, ready to leave if you were asked too. Why should you be here? You’re not an Avenger—or whatever these guys are called now.

“We all know why we’re here. They’re back. This time it seems like for good.” Tony spoke.

He pressed a button on the console, projecting a hologram above the table.

It showed an aerial image of some kind of camp, though fortress would probably be the better word. You stared at the image, when your stomach suddenly dropped. Your skin prickling and clammy before you had time to think.

“Where is this?” Wanda asked.

“Romania.” You whispered.

All eyes were suddenly on you. “Ella? You know this place?” Steve asked.

You nodded subtly, “Y-yeah. I—excuse me.”

Feet carrying you faster than your body wanted, you ran from the conference room. Opting for the stairs instead of the elevator, you run down the several flights to the living quarters.

Luckily, you made it to your bathroom before you were sick. Unable to stop the dry heaving and shaking, you knew there was no point. You’d successfully avoided the flashbacks for over a year, stealing your mind had become second nature, but this...this was too much.

The light headed feeling over took you as you laid in your bed. You desperately drank water, hoping to calm your nerves, but nothing was helping. This was a panic attack, one of the worst you could remember.

“Ella? Ella open up.” Steve’s voice was outside your room, muffled by the door.

You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t move.

“FRIDAY?” You heard him ask. The A.I. didn’t respond, she simply unlocked the door.

You were in the fetal position now, hugging the pillow desperately to your chest.

“Ella.” He said, moving his hand to stroke your back. His touch elicited a fight or flight response you’d been denying for months. You instinctively began kicking and punching him.

“No! No! Don’t take me! Don’t touch me! Stop!” You screamed at the top of your lungs. Steve wasn’t there. You were suddenly back in Romania, in the cell you’d been kept in. The faceless men of your mind were there, touching you. Stabbing you. Hurting you.

“Ella no! Please it’s me, it’s Steve. You gotta fight it, Ella.” He tried you comfort you. “You’re safe, Ella, I promise you’re safe!”

Without warning, the faceless men vanished. Revealing a panicked Steve, sat just inches from you on your bed.

Oxygen filled your lungs once again, as you began to come down from your panic attack.

“Steve?” You question.

He nodded, stroking your hair. “It’s me. You’re safe. It’s me.” He pulled you in for a hug.

You blinked the tears out of your eyes, “Oh my God. Steve, I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking embarrassed.”

He shook it head, “Stop that. Stop that right now, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I didn’t know you’d be coming in with Buck, I wouldn’t have let them show that had I known...”

“No, I can’t be put in this bubble and hidden away my whole life! It’s not your fault, it just took me off guard, I haven’t seen that place...thought about it in so long I just...” your voice drifted off as you wiped your eyes.

The camp was where you’d been held--where you’d been taken from your family and hidden away all those years ago.

It took a while, but you’d calmed down. People kept coming to check on you, but Cap would kindly move them along, giving you the space you so desperately needed.

It seemed everyone had come to see you, except one person. The one person you actually wanted to see.

“Cap? Where’s Bucky?” You ask innocently

Steve sighed, “Bucky’s been sent ahead of the rest of us.”

Your eyes widened, “Sent? Sent where? Not Romania. Steve he can’t do this alone he can’t, they’ll—“

“We’re headed there tonight. In just a few hours in fact.” He replied, cutting you off.

You stood from your bed grabbing your pistol from the night stand. “Let’s go now, he needs backup.” You’re desperately trying to hide the panic in your voice.

“Ella no, we’re going. You’re not ready for this.” Steve stood from you bed as well, what does he mean not ready?

“Steve I can’t just sit here and—“

“You can and you will. That’s an order, Ella. It’s clear you need more time to heal, both mentally and physically.” Steve put a gentle hand on your shoulder. “You said it yourself, you need time. I want you to take it.”

The wind had been knocked out of you. You nod at Steve somberly, accepting his words for what they were; orders.

A few hours after Steve had left, you hear the rumble of the Quinjet take off from the roof. Despite the lack of worry in his voice, you could help the awful feeling in your stomach, telling you something terrible was going to happen...

and you couldn’t do anything about it.

You worried for Bucky, but despite your worry you couldn't help wonder why he just left. Why he wouldn't come check on you, or at least say goodbye. He just...left.

You flopped on the couch in the common room, flicking mindlessly through the channels. Tonight would bring nothing but sleepless bouts and nightmares.

You shut the tv off and stare at the ceiling, unsure of when, or if you’d see Bucky Barnes again.

Chapter Eight: Light Bulb

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alswonderland · 5 years

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Its time

↳Peter Parker x f!reader

↳ Pregnant au/ married life au with Peter Parker where Peter and reader prepare for the arrival of a new member.

↳Warning: avengers being cute af, fluffy goodness, married couple stuff, Peter being suggestive (slightly)

↳A/n: dude you have no clue how long I have been wanting to post this for. I kept procrastinating on writing it even thought I loved the idea.

*edited from the original version*

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“Y/n!” Peter screamed at the top of his lungs “can you get the screws as well?” he asked his 9 month pregnant wife.

Peter was in the middle of setting a baby crib that he had ordered online when you were 3 months pregnant, but due to really bad shipping arrangements the crib had only come two days go.

Which is why both you and your husband(mostly your husband, because he wasn't letting you do anything) were trying to build the crib as fast as you could because you never know when the baby would pop right out of you, since you were now very close to your due date.

“Coming, coming” you waddled your way to Peter. You gave him the desired object and held your very round belly. “Do you see that sweety, do you see what daddy is making for you? this is going to be your new bed!” you looked at Peter and newly made crib.

You had started to pick up the habit of talking to your baby in the middle of your pregnancy due to the fact that you were bored of staying home alone the entire day, you spoke to your baby, telling him stories about how you and Peter met and how excited is everyone to meet the little one.

Peter looked at you in awe as you rubbed your belly and smiled at your bump. He got on his knees and looked your big belly. He rubbed small circles and whispered soft things only for your infant to hear. Father-son bonding time as he liked to call.

When ever Peter had time, whether it was after long hours of work at the bureau or going on business trips with Tony , your husband would always find a way to talk to your baby.

Peter got up from his position to cup your face in his soft hands. “I love you” he said as he kissed your temple softly.

“I love you, too”

—————————————————————

You opened an eye looking at the glowing red light next to your bed, 3 am. You let out a small groan, angry, it was 3 am and you couldn’t sleep no matter how hard you tried because everytime your eyes closed you would see that beautiful chocolate cake you saw at the grocery store the day before when you went for a late night grocery run with Peter.

“i knew i should've bought it” you thought resting your hand on your belly and felt kicks. “are you thinking about it too?” smiling you looked over to your sleeping husband. Mouth wide open, a bit of drool threatening to fall on the baby blue pillowcase he was sleeping on. What a cutie.

You leaned over to him and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

You slowly removed the covers of your body and tried get off the bed without making any sounds to make up the sleeping beauty next to you.

“ouch, that hurt!” You whined softly, as you rubbed the area you got kicked “whats wrong?” you pouted.

“Food?” you questioned in a amused tone, and got a kick as a response. With that you walked out of your shared bedroom and made your way to the kitchen.

“What should we eat?” You bent down a little to look at the items inside your refrigerator.

“Broccoli? Nah who we kidding we ain’t healthy, pasta? Hmm maybe in the morning,” both hungry and frustrated from no sleep you shut the fridge a bit to hard. You winced at the noise of magnets falling on the floor and prayed that Peter hadn’t woken up.

“We literally don’t have anything to eat!” you kicked the magnets out of the kitchen making a mental note to tell him in the morning to pick it up. You let a annoyed sigh, when you remembered Peter buying some snacks.

“Ah ha!” You exclaimed looking at the pack of chocolate chips in your pantry. “ I knew I had this somewhere” you grined.

You looked at your belly which was covered in one of Peter’s extra large graphics t-shirts, and said “ let’s get baking kiddo.”

“Ahh smells so good!!!” You exclaimed as you mixed the dough with the chocolate chips “if only I can taste it” you said with a slight pout, as you brought the spoon next to your mouth.

“Don’t you even think about it” said Peter making you jump in fright.

“OMG BABE! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? SCARE THE BABY OUT OF ME?” You screamed as you placed your hand on your rapidly beating heart.

Peter, no longer leaning on the doorway of your kitchen made his way to you. His arms holding you in a soft embrace, as he muttered soft words to calm your poor heart. He kissed your forehead and apologized profusely.

“Y/n what are you even doing here? At this time? It’s almost 3:30?”

“I... well you see Junior over here got hungry and decided that it would be fun playing soccer in my tummy till he gets my attention which he did. So I came into the kitchen to see what is there to eat, but didn’t find anything that I wanted then I remembered that we have chocolate chips left so”

“So you wanted to bake cookies” said Peter with a beautiful grin.

“Oh you know me so well, Mr. Husband” you cooed as you pecked his lips.

He smiled at the gesture and shook his head at your cute antics.

“Well then, since you’re going to be baking cookies I might as well help you. Now go on sit down, and let me do the rest.”

With that he sent you out of the kitchen and put the cookies in the oven and cleaned the kitchen as you eagerly waited for them to be done.

You walked back into the kitchen to see if your treats were ready to eat instead you were faced with your husbands back who was in the process of cleaning the dishes.

“wait what are you doing here” you poked Peter’s arm. “i woke up when you kissed me” he shrug as he continued to do the dishes. “you know babe i really thought i was gonna get something more than just a kiss on the forehead since....well you know.... you were up during fuckboy hours but i guess not” he pouted and then winked “and since we are up now” he sang wiggling his eyebrows, you hit his arms laughing.

“Peter” you gasp “how can you say that and in front of your son ” you faked a shocked expression as Peter jokingly started to strip out of his pjs.

‘wow a dinner and a show im so lucky’ you thought as you took a bite of a cookie.

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“ OMG BABE!!!!” Peter’s screams rang through the house.

“What what is? What happened? Who died” you came in as fast as you could while you held onto your belly.

“Honey walk slowly you might get hurt” Peter extended his arm for you to take and gently put you down on you shared bed.

“Nothing like that happened but I just realized that you due date is in a week!!!” He exclaimed. “ IN A WEEK!”

“Can you imagine it? A mini me will be waking around this very spot in a week, Y/n can you imagine!!!” He spoke, his eyes shining with each word.

You smiled “ well he won’t be walking yet but YES IM SO EXCITED! Oh that reminds me, I kind of bought some more baby clothes the other day with Nat. Only because they were so cute!” You gushed. “You should’ve been there Peter that store is magical” he laughed at your child like behavior and went to get the bag of clothes from the closet.

“Did you find it?” You asked, getting ready to get them yourself.

“I got it. I got it” he said as he brought a baby blue bag along with a big brown book.

“also look at what I found” he waved your photo album in the air and sat next to you.

“Awe look it’s little Peter with his little willy,” You pointed at your husband’s baby picture.

Peter’s faced became red, he cleared his throat and turned the page to avoid any more of your comments, “well its not so small now is it” he let out of a soft ouch and rubbed his arm because you hit his arm for saying such things near his soon-to-be-born baby

As you looked through the album of memories, you started to feel intense pain in your lower abdomen.

Little driblets of sweat started to from on your forehead and you breathing started to be come more heavy.

Peter noticed the change in your behavior and placed a hand on the small of back to calm you down. You smiled at him weakly, and grabbed his thigh when the pain became unbearable.

“P-peter” you quietly let out, “I-I think it’s time” you said looking in between your legs and saw the small water soaking your pants.

Your water broke.

Peter’s calm expression morphed into a panicked one as he hurriedly took the hospital bag and walked you to the car.

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The dull colors of the Hospital was making Peter feel more nervous than he actually felt. The thought of something happening to you or the baby in the process of the delivery kept running circles in his mind due to the stress and anxiety he was feeling at that moment. He knew he should not be worrying both you and the baby were in perfect condition, but he was not able to get those nasty thoughts out of his mind.

Peter felt someone’s hand be placed on his shoulder he quickly looked up and saw Tony’s warm brown eyes. Tony gave him a reassuring smile and open his arms to initiate a hug. Peter overwhelmed with emotion cried in Tony’s affectionate embrace.

“I’m going to be father” he sobs “I’m going to be Father”. Tony pulled away and looked at Peter in the eye. He cupped his face and whipped the tears away.

“I know you are. You’re going to be a great one at that.” Tony smiled at the boy whom he saw grow into the fine young man he is today.

“IM GOING TO BE A UNCLE YALL!!!!” a loud voice rang through the hall. Peter laughed at the familiar voice. He saw his friend Wade wave at him dressed up as a baby sitting in a baby stroller, he waved at the two men while being pushed by Sam and Bucky.

“He’s so gonna get killed by them by the end of the day” whispered Tony.

“definitely” Peter said laughing.

Peter left his father figure when the nurse came to tell him that the contraction has begun.

—————————————————————

You were sitting on the bed with your baby in your embrace, Peter walked up to you and kissed your chapped lips. He leaned forwards and whispered to you how well you did during this hard process.

“I should go call them,” he kissed the baby and went out.

Peter walked out of the delivery room with a huge smile that light the entire room “you can come see him now” he said and walked back inside to sit beside you on the bed.

Everyone made their way to the room, walking slowly trying not to wake your newborn.

“he is so precious,” cooed Natasha as she softly grazed his skin with her finger. “Can I hold him?” she asked. You nodded and let your best friend hold your baby boy.

“what’s his name” asked Tony as he walked up to the red headed who was caressing the infant.

“Harry Benjamin Parker” Peter said smiling, “Y/n chose it, but next time i will be the one choosing the name for our child” Peter said and you nodded.

“ Next time?” Thor said laughing. “You already planed on the next time Peter?” Thor teased Peter after seeing his face go red.

“Hey, Hey blondie, stop teasing my son, and auntie Nat can I please hold my grandchild?” Tony said showing his pearly whites in order to get Harry.

“Why should you get to hold Harry next!” said Steve. “I am the oldest!”

“No, I should hold harry next,” quipped Thor “It’s always an honor to be held by a god,”

“A god? oh please, let me hold My God Son harry, since I am his god father! I am his Sirius Black,” said Wade.

“Wade we never made you the god father,” Peter quietly let out as he took Harry back from Natasha’s hand in fear that something might happen while everyone is fighting to hold his son.

One of the nurses walked in to your room worried because of the arguing she heard from outside. She would've never thought that one day she would see the worlds mightiest heroes fighting to hold a baby, but here she was.

Furious because this is most certainly not how one acts in a hospital she kicked them out of the room, and lectured them about how to behave in a hospital.

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