#I remember seeing this when it came out in 2015 and having it Internalize and realizing that it is true and it does matter which you say

[the-trans-dragon]

Comic By Yao Xiao

#literally this artist has been teaching me how to become a person capable of being happy for years #I remember seeing this when it came out in 2015 and having it Internalize and realizing that it is true and it does matter which you say #sorenhoots #baopu #baopu 15 #Yao Xiao #autostraddle

[leclerqueensainz]

A Family of Three (C.L 16) - Part.I- Discoveries, Reunions, and Surprises

Paring: Charles Leclerc X OC!Marie Anderson

Synopsis: Charles and Marie ended any chance of a relationship years ago. They just didn't expect to have to share custody of a child after the death of their best friend.

⚠️ Warnings: Mention of death and murder, swearing, Charles being a little aggressive in his reactions, mention of sex and drug use. (This chapter may contain triggers!) (+16)

**In this story, Jules Bianchi died in 2019, not 2015, which changes some facts in the careers of the drivers.

A.N: Hello! How are you doing? After a long time, I finally brought Part 1 translated into English! Remembering that English is not my first language, so there may be some mistakes! I tried my best!

Feedback is always welcome. Let me know if you liked it!

Word Count: 7.882

Read the prologue here!

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January 15th, 2023 - Milan, Italy

"Good morning, Marcella!" I greet my secretary as I enter the office. "Any news for me?" I ask the blonde girl who is sitting with her eyes fixed on the computer in front of her.

"Good morning, Marie! And...HA! I did it!" Marcella suddenly jumps, startling me. "I'm sorry! It's just that I managed to schedule the meeting with Fred Lacroix for next week." She says, trying to compose herself, and I smile."

"That's great! You're amazing," I say, leaning over next to her at the table and taking a peek at her computer. "Do you think he'll be in a good mood? He's not exactly known for being pleasant when it comes to selling and buying his art," I ask and Marcella just shrugs.

"I don't know, and honestly, I don't worry about it," she says, and I can see a smug smile spread across her face. "Either way, we're awesome! We always get what we want," she finishes, and I laugh at her enthusiasm. 

I agree with Marcella. We are awesome and always get what we want when it comes to work.

After Jules died, I moved from Monaco to Italy. I felt like I needed to leave it all behind, even if it meant burying a part of who I was with my past. I needed a fresh start, and I closed my eyes to my old life. I had nothing left in Monaco. Nothing held me back or was even worth staying for.

I needed time and a new life, and that's exactly what I found when I came to Italy, where I was able to enroll in arts just in time to continue the school year. And a year and a half later, I graduated and started interning at one of the best galleries in Milan. Shortly after that, I realized I had a lot of potential for curating and dedicated myself to the field, of which today I am still a part, with the highest success rate in recruiting and selling new artists.

Today, I can say that my life is more than comfortable, and I spend so much of my day occupied with work that I hardly have time to think about everything I left behind a few years ago.

"Ah!" Marcella screams and catches me off guard, making me take a few steps back.

"Oh my god, Marcella! You're going to kill me, girl!" I say and put my hand on my chest, feeling my heart skipping like crazy.

"Sorry! I just remembered you got a letter this morning," she says, and I swear my confusion is written all over my face. "I mean, you didn't really get it, it's more like 'they passed the envelope under the door while we were closed, and I stepped on it when I got here'," she says and pulls out a crumpled white envelope with a half footprint on it. "I tried to clean it up, but as you can see, it didn't go very well. Seriously, someone should clean the streets of Milan more," she says and hands me the envelope.

I examine the envelope to find the sender, but I only find "Marie Anderson" written in delicate handwriting.

"There's no sender. That's strange." I say and Marcella nods.

"I thought it was kind of creepy too. I mean, who still sends letters In 2023? Isn't it easier to send a message on Insta? Or like, an email?" I nod my head and shrug.

"Well, let it be," I say and start walking towards my office. "Please let anyone who wants to speak to me know to leave a message. And that includes my mom, okay?" I say and Marcella nods. "Great, thanks," I say, entering my office and closing the door behind me.

I throw my bag on the desk and sit in my chair. I analyze the envelope in my hand again and for a moment, I feel a strange sensation as I stare at it.

"Okay, let's end the suspense, Marie," I say to myself and I grab a staple remover from the pencil holder, passing it over the glued part of the envelope.

Opening the envelope, I take out a sheet of paper with the same handwriting as the envelope, and two photos of a little boy with dark hair and eyes who I swear I've never seen before, but who somehow seems very familiar to me. I turn over the photos to see if there's anything written on the back.

"Vincenzo. 24/12/2021" 

Was written in one of the photos. The little boy was sitting next to what looked like a Christmas tree. I took a look at the next photograph, where the same boy, who seemed a bit older, was sitting on a mat surrounded by toys. "Vincenzo. 19/12/2022."

Feeling even more confused and with a strange sensation spreading through my chest, I picked up the letter I had left aside on the table and began to read it.

France, January 2nd, 2023.

Marie,

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've thought about how I would write to you. You don't know me, and to be honest, I don't think anyone in his circle of friends and family has even heard of me.

My name is Cecilia, and that's all you need to know about me right now, aside from what I'm about to write to you next: I was engaged to Jules Bianchi.

I know this is strange and perhaps even unbelievable, but it's true. Jules and I had a brief but passionate love story. I loved Jules, and I can say that he loved me too.

Two days before his death, I found out that I was pregnant. I gave birth to Vincenzo on December 24th, 2019. He was a healthy and strong little boy, very similar to Jules.

I loved him from the moment I found out he was growing inside me. The result of something so pure and beautiful, from my relationship with Jules.

I know it's a lot for you to process right now, but so that you can know that I'm telling you the truth, there are two photos of Vincenzo. I want you to look at them and see Jules, just as I do every time I look at my son.

"I've been wanting to write to you for a long time. Jules saw you as a sister. I'm sorry I hid this from you and his family too, but I was so afraid. Afraid of rejection, of being seen as a liar. I couldn't go through any of that. I only had Jules, and after he left me, there was no one else I could trust, so I've been raising Vincenzo alone until now, but I don't think I can do it anymore. Vincenzo has a family besides me. And I need him to grow up knowing that he is loved.

I promise I to explain everything you need to know. Please meet me at the café where you used to meet every time you came together to Nice. January 18th at 4 pm.

- Cecilia.

My hands tremble as I put the letter back on the table.

What the hell is this? Is this some kind of sick joke?

I take the two photos back in my hands and stare at them, now realizing why I found that boy so familiar. It was Jules. That boy is the spitting image of Jules.

But how is this even possible? Why didn't Jules tell us he had someone? That's not like him. Jules was always an open book to us. He told us everything, just as we did with him. He wouldn't hide this from us...would he?

With my head swimming with questions and my heart heavy as lead, I found myself shouting Marcella's name, and less than a minute later, her short locks appeared through the door.

My hands tremble as I put the letter back on the table.

What the hell is this? Is this some kind of sick joke?

I take the two photos back in my hands and stare at them, now realizing why I found that boy so familiar. It was Jules. That boy is the spitting image of Jules.

But how is this even possible? Why didn't Jules tell us he had someone? That's not like him. Jules was always an open book to us. He told us everything, just as we did with him. He wouldn't hide this from us...would he?

With my head swimming with questions and my heart heavy as lead, I found myself shouting Marcella's name, and less than a minute later, her short locks appeared through the door.

"Yes?" She asks before looking at me for a moment and entering my office complete with a worried expression. "Are you okay, Marie?" She says kneeling by my side.

"Book a flight for tomorrow morning. I need to go to France."

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January 18th, 2023. - Nice, France.

I stare again at the clock hanging on the wall above the counter of the small café. 3:45 PM.

15 minutes. Just 15 minutes until I could find out who Cecilia was and why she decided to contact me now, after all this time. And why me? Yes, Jules, Charles, and I were always very close despite the age difference. But why reach out to me? If she intended to introduce the boy to Jules' family, why didn't she contact Christine or Philippe?

I hadn't seen Jules' family in a long time, we didn't even exchange messages. I left them behind when I decided to move on to Italy. They were buried with my past in Monaco.

The bell on the entrance door rings, indicating that someone has entered the premises. My head quickly snaps toward the sound.

And it's like in one minute, everything I struggled so hard to forget and leave behind comes back with force and without control like waves of a tsunami.

Standing just a few meters away from where I'm sitting, my gaze meets Charles'.

Charles. My ex-boyfriend whom I haven't seen in almost four years. The part that hurts the most from my past, besides the death of Jules.

He looks different. So different from the last time I saw him at Jules' funeral. This time he's not dressed in mourning black, no. He's wearing casual clothes, dark jeans, and a moss green sweater with the word "FERRARI" stamped in black. There's a scruffy beard on his face and his eyes...damn. The eyes that last time reflected so much hopelessness were now more alive, but still with certain traces of concern.

Charles walks up to where I'm sitting, his steps quick and wide as if he wanted to corner me before I could escape again. He stops half a meter away, and his gaze curiously roams over me. His expression is stern but also covered in doubt. I bet that, like me, he wants to understand why I'm here.

"Charles..." I'm the first to say, my voice low and uncertain. He nods slowly, his gaze still fixed on me, as if he wants to uncover all the secrets I gained during the years we were apart.

“What are you doing here, Marie?" he asks, direct and determined, without any hesitation. It's a tone I would have never expected to hear from the Charles I left four years ago. Yes, he really has changed.

I wished I could answer him with the same intensity, but honestly, I don't think I could. There's so much going on here and my head is spinning with so many questions and emotions. Why is Charles here? What the hell is going on? Did he set all this up?

"Is this some kind of joke? Because if it is, I swear to God it's not funny," he says, his tone now rough.

I sit there staring at him, completely confused.

Charles runs his hand through his hair, messing up his brown locks even more. He sighs heavily and closes his eyes, his tongue quickly passing over his lower lip. He used to do that all the time when he felt anger or frustration. At least that hasn't changed.

"What are you doing here, Charles?" I ask, and he opens his eyes, once again staring at me.

Charles's hand reaches into his back pocket and pulls out an envelope identical to the one that was left for me in the office in Italy. The difference is that I can see that this one was addressed to Charles, only his name, and also without a sender.

"Please tell me it wasn't you, Marie," he says as his eyes shift from the envelope to my face. I look at him with all the sincerity I can muster and answer, "No, it wasn't me." He nods his head, his expression softening a bit. He moves and sits in the vacant chair in front of me, his hands going up to his face to rub it.

"Jules has a son," he says.

"I know," I reply.

"Charles lowers his hands and stares at me once again, confusion etched on his face. Before he can say anything, I reach into my bag on the table, open it, and take out the white envelope. Charles looks at my hand for a moment before reaching over the table to take the envelope from me."

"You got one too," he says, not looking at me, even though it's not a question,  I nod my head in agreement.

"It seems she arranged to meet with both of us. I think it's easier if we hear the story at the same time, that way there's no risk of getting the wrong versions," I say, and his gaze shifts from the envelopes on the table to me.

"Do you think it's a lie? That the boy isn't Jules's son?" he asks seriously, and I just shrug in response.

"I believe it could be Jules's son. I just don't know why she waited all this time and why she chose us. Obviously, we're not the best people to show Vincenzo that he has a family on his father's side," I say, and I see Charles's jaw tighten.

"We were friends with Jules. He trusted us," he says, once again his voice sounding rough.

"It seems he didn't trust us enough to tell us he fell in love," I say, and immediately regret it.

I look at Charles and if we were part of a cartoon, he would have flames in his eyes.

“You don't know what happened. You don't know his reasons, just like me,” he says through gritted teeth. “Don't doubt his motives. Not when he's not here to defend himself.”

In all the years I've spent by Charles' side, I've never seen him so angry. And if I didn't know him, I'd be scared.

But do you still know him? I silently ask myself.

"That's not what I meant," I defensively reply. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. Of course, Jules had reasons and we'll find out when Cecilia arrives." Charles relaxes his jaw and adjusts in his seat.

I look at the clock on the wall again. 4:10 PM. She's late. I look at Charles, a little anxious.

"Do you think she's coming?" he shrugs, but his hand goes into his hoodie pocket and pulls out a cell phone. 

"She's late," he states what I already know. "But I think so, she's coming." Charles carelessly tosses the phone onto the table, his anxious fingers fidgeting with his rings.

"Congratulations on the runner-up, by the way," I say, trying to ease both of our anxieties, and he looks back at me.

"Did you follow the races?" he asked, a little surprised.

"Yes," I admit, somewhat embarrassed. "My secretary is a huge Formula 1 fan," I add, which is not a lie. 

Like all Italians, Marcella is a devoted Tifosi. And even though I wanted to leave everything I knew behind, I couldn't escape one of the most beloved sports in Europe, especially in Italy, the home of Ferrari.

Charles lets out a low laugh, his look adopting the expression of a mischievous boy. Oh no.

"Your secretary, huh?" he says with a teasing and suggestive tone.

"Ah, shut up, Leclerc!" I say, trying to sound serious but failing when I let out a laugh. "I'm serious! My secretary is a diehard Tifosi. She can't shut up for a minute about Ferrari and makes me watch all the races," I say, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah... And I bet I'm your 'secretary's' favorite driver, right?" he says, making air quotes with his fingers and having a smug smile on his face.

"Actually, she prefers Sainz," I say, and instantly his smile turns into a serious expression, which makes me laugh.

Soon, Charles' dimples appear on his cheek and my heart skips a beat at the sound of his typically somewhat flawed and exaggerated laugh. Oh, how I enjoyed hearing that horrible but at the same time very cute laugh again.

At that moment, even though I hated to admit it, I realized how much I missed that feeling of familiarity and lightness. And even though just a few minutes ago, I was doubting whether I still knew the person that Charles had become, I could see that regardless of the years and tragedies that life had subjected him to from a young age, that kind and playful boy that I had once fallen in love with was still there. And maybe he would never leave. And I liked that.

Looking at Charles smiling, sitting in front of me, I wonder for just a second if it would have been different if I hadn't left. But as soon as the thought came, I pushed it away. Because even though I was happy to know that Charles still had something familiar to me inside him, we were not meant to be even before Jules' death. And I doubt that we could have maintained a good relationship with all the pain and mourning that surrounded us. I made a good choice. Yes, I did the right thing.

Leaving Monaco was one of the hardest things I had to face. But it made me grow and become a strong woman. I learned to deal with loss, even if it may not be the healthiest way, it still worked for me. I was able to finish college, got the job I wanted, and met new people. I fell in love, and even though I didn't love them like I loved Charles, I still allowed myself to feel and try happiness. Clearly, it didn't work out, but the experience was worth it.

And I can also say that Charles has achieved what he wanted, or almost everything. He is one of the best Formula 1 drivers and drives for Ferrari, which is almost every motorsport athlete's dream. He has a successful career and is known worldwide for it. And even though he didn't get the title he so desperately craved last year, he may get it this year. He is focused, grateful, and kind. The golden boy. Il Predestinato.

Even though Charles is so young, he has given his family and friends everything they ever dreamed of. Pascale must be so proud of him, and if Harvé were still alive, I'm sure he would also be proud of the son he raised. And Jules would also be proud to see Charles' progress.

And then the emptiness appears again. Jules. I try my best not to think about him. The memories are still painful even after all these years.

I think I let my thoughts reflect too much because Charles, who was laughing before, now looks at me with a compassionate expression. He probably thought of Jules too.

"I miss him too," he says and I nod my head. "And I missed you too," his hand meets mine on the table.

There were no ulterior motives. Just a gesture. A gesture to affirm what he was saying. And it hurt. It hurt in my heart and soul.

I quickly withdraw my hand from his and stare at the table. Charles withdraws his hands and keeps them close to his body.

"I know you didn't owe me anything, Marie. No explanations, not loyalty," he starts, his voice a little broken, making my heart tighten. "But Jules died and you left. Why did you leave?" he asks, and I can hear the hurt in his voice.

I wished I had the strength to lift my gaze and tell him while looking him in the eyes that everything I did was out of fear and thinking that there was nothing left for me in Monaco. That I still loved him even after he broke up with me and that losing Jules to death destroyed me, but knowing that I would lose Charles while he was still alive would only ruin me even more. I couldn't see him every day and know that he no longer belonged to me. And that every minute I spent mourning and heartbroken without him reminded me that love was impossible for me. That I didn't deserve to be loved. That there would never be anyone to love me.

"I had to go," I say, still staring at my hands. "I don't expect you to understand or forgive me. Because I'm not asking for any of that, Charles," my voice sounds firm but my eyes burn.

I take a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds before releasing it. I raise my gaze to meet his when I'm sure the tears won't fall.

"I had to make a choice and I did. I chose myself," I say simply, perhaps trying to convince myself.

Charles nods his head and goes back to fiddling with the rings on his fingers. This time it was difficult for him to look at me.

"I'm happy to see who you've become, Marie. And I hope you've achieved what you wanted when..." he pauses for a second, unsure of what to say, "when you left Monaco." A tired laugh escapes his lips. "I'm not going to judge you, especially since when you left, we were no longer a couple. But I was an idiot to think that we were still friends." He looks back at me. "I was foolish until I realized that there would be no possibility for us without Jules being here."

I wanted to scream. I wanted to stand up and throw everything in front of me at him. I wanted to curse at him and tell him that he didn't have that right. But to be fair, I could never do that. Not when I left, when it was me who left what was left of the three of us. Jules had died and I had fled. When I left, I didn't think of Charles or his feelings. I only thought of myself and how I could never live with that.

I don't regret it. I did what I thought was necessary and would do it again. Charles might have needed me, but I needed to leave and heal. And that's what I did. Charles still had friends and family to rely on, and I had no one. No present family, no friends, and no boyfriend. Charles and I both mourned, of course, but we mourned in different ways. He had lost a friend, and I had lost everything.

There was no one to come home to and hug. There was no one there to tell me that they were sorry for my loss and that everything would be okay. So I went after what I thought I needed and I got it. I went in search of myself, a new life, new choices, and opportunities, and I found them. I found myself. Of course, I let go of a lot, and the void left by Jules and Charles was never filled, but I learned to cope and use it to my advantage for other things, and that was enough, at least for now.

Before I could respond to him, I'm interrupted once again by the sound of the damn doorbell.

Charles and I turned our attention to the door at the same time. Both of us were staring at a slim blonde woman, wearing a green coat and leggings. But what caught our attention the most was the little boy in her arms. He was about 3 or 4 years old, with dark hair, lying with his face hidden in the woman's neck, and his small hand clutching onto her collar as if he were afraid she would leave if he let go.

Charles and I stood up in rehearsed gestures, all at the same time. He stopped beside me, his hand resting on my shoulder, covered by my own coat this time. The woman looked at us and came slowly towards us. When she got closer and stopped about a meter away from us, I could analyze her.

Her face was thin and perfectly symmetrical, and even though it seemed like she hadn't slept in days, her tired eyes were a beautiful shade of greenish-brown. She is very beautiful. Her lips opened in a small smile, and there I could see that she easily fit Jules' type.

"I assume you are Charles and Marie, right?" She says, her voice sweet and tired.

My gaze moves from her to the little boy in her arms, and then they cross with Charles'. He tells me through his eyes the same things I am thinking. We return our attention to the blonde in front of us and nod.

"Great!" She clears her throat before continuing, "I'm Cecilia, and this little guy here is Vincenzo." She gently shakes the child, who tightens his grip on her coat collar even more. "Jules' son."

Charles' grip on my shoulder becomes stronger, and I swallow hard. I can't take my eyes off the little boy, and now up close, I can see his profile. His chubby childlike cheek and long eyelashes, just like Jules'.

Cecilia shifts uncomfortably, her feet shifting the weight from one to the other, and she adjusts Vincenzo's position in her lap.

"I know you must have thousands of questions, and I promise I will answer them all. But before that, would you mind if I sit down? Vincenzo is a bit heavy, and I walked here with him in my arms," she says, embarrassed.

"Of course not. Please," Charles approaches her and pulls the chair he was sitting in a few minutes ago. Cecilia sits down, careful not to make any sudden movements and wake Vincenzo.

Charles points to the empty chair, and I sit down. He takes a few steps hto the table next to us and takes an unoccupied chair to sit on. Once the three of us are seated around the table, Charles calls the waitress, whom I only now notice has been staring at us this whole time. The redheaded and smiling girl, who probably can't be more than 19 years old, approaches with her gaze fixed on Charles- she probably recognized him.

Charles is the one who orders. A cappuccino for me- which causes a sensation in my stomach that he still remembers- an iced tea for himself, and he asks Cecilia what she would like to drink, to which she responds that coffee would be enough. The redhead writes down the orders and asks for permission to leave. Her eyes still glued to Charles.

I roll my eyes internally, but I know I can't blame her. After all, it's probably not every day that she serves a public figure. When we used to come here with Jules, the employees were different, and the small café is located on a somewhat isolated street in Nice, so it's unlikely that many famous people come here.

I take my gaze off the waitress and turn back to Cecilia, who was already looking at me attentively with a small smile on her lips.

"Well..." Charles begins. "Why are we here, Cecilia? Why only now have you contacted us?" He leans forward a little more, his arms resting on the wooden table.

Cecilia shifts in her chair carefully and her eyes briefly glance at Vincenzo before turning back to us.

"I wanted you to meet Vincenzo. While he was alive, Jules always mentioned you as part of his family. He loved you both very much," she says, and I feel my chest tightening.

"But why only now?" I speak for the first time. "I know you wrote in the letter that you were afraid, but it still sounds strange that you would come looking for us now, without any reason," I say, trying to keep my voice steady.

Cecilia falls silent for a few seconds as if she wants to formulate the next words carefully.

"There's a reason," she confirms. "Look, I know it's strange, and I assure you that I'm not looking for any money or anything like that." Her gaze shifts from me to Charles, as if she wants to confirm the latter part specifically for him. "Jules and I met about six months before he died, and it was love at first sight."

"He never told us about you," Charles responds cutting her off and she nods. 

"I know he didn't. I asked him not to," she says and Charles and I exchange confused looks before turning our attention back to her.

"What do you mean? Why would you ask him not to?" I ask, finding it all very odd.

"When I met Jules, I was in a complicated time in my life," she answers and I see her face darken. "I was only 19 and had run away from Italy." Her voice trembles as if it's hard for her to mention those times again.

I wish I could tell her that she didn't need to tell us if she wasn't feeling comfortable, but the truth was that it was really necessary. After all, that's what Charles and I are here for.

Charles nodded for her to continue and I could feel his tension.

"I got involved with the wrong people in Italy," she continues. "There was a boy I had been in love with during my teenage years, Paolo was his name. We were very young and stupid, you know?" Cecília laughs and her eyes fill with tears. "Like every teenager, we thought we were invincible, but we weren't. When I was 17, I spent most of my time at parties and clubs with him. We drank and did drugs, and everything was fun and happy until it wasn't anymore. Over time, the drinking and drugs stopped being just for parties and began to become necessary for anything. From being able to concentrate on studies, to being able to get out of bed. My parents assumed that Paolo was to blame for my addiction and banned me from seeing him. I obviously went against them and they made me choose between a life with them or my ruin with Paolo. I, being young and foolish, chose love and abandoned my parents without looking back. I left the life I had to chase adventures with Paolo and he did the same, running away from home. But the thing is, we were two addicted people without a home and money. There was no more money from our parents, so we started doing whatever we could. Small thefts and even..." She stops for a moment, thick tears streaming down her face.

"Here." Charles extends a napkin and she takes it, wiping her face immediately after.

"Thank you," she says and he offers her a half-smile. "Even prostitution," she continues, and I feel my stomach churn. It wasn't disgust, but rather a pity for imagining someone in that situation. Beside me, I could see that Charles was equally uncomfortable. It was hard for him to put himself in her place.

Charles grew up with great parents who did everything for their children, and even though they weren't millionaires at the time, they still managed to have and offer a comfortable life for them. And I bet that if any of the three, Charles, Lorenzo, or Arthur, had gone the wrong way, Pascale would never have abandoned them.

And me, well, I was lucky. I spent my teenage years with Jules and Charles, who had a structured enough family to share with me because my parents were absent.

Obviously, Charles and I had our rebellious phase with occasional drinking and smoking weed. But Jules, being almost ten years older than us, always kept us in line like a good older brother. And if he knew that we had crossed the line at parties or anywhere else, oh God! He would freak out.

- "Cecilia, I know it's difficult for you to say this, but I think it's important for Charles and me to understand," I say and she nods.

Cecília takes two deep breaths before continuing, and that's when I'm sure the story would only get worse. I try to prepare myself to hear what she had to say.

"I prostituted myself a few times without Paolo's knowledge. Some traffickers gave me drugs in exchange for sex and since many times I had no other choice, I accepted. But one day he found out and that ended us. With us." Tears returned to stream down her face. "Paolo went crazy when he found out and went after the trafficker I had slept with. He got a gun and killed the guy. We were on the run for a few weeks, but it was too hard for two homeless addicts to hide in Italy. Soon they found us and..." She closes her eyes and sobs.

I stretch my hand across the table and take Cecilia's hand. There was a lot of pain there and part of me wanted to curl up and stop listening, but I couldn't. I glance at Charles and he meets my gaze, his eyes reflecting distress at hearing everything that came out of her mouth. It was too surreal for him to hear all of that.

"They killed Paolo and thought they had killed me too. But by some miracle, I managed to survive and ask for help at a church. The priest there was friends with my parents and managed to find a family in Nice who were willing to help me. So I came to France, went through rehabilitation, and started attending meetings for drug addicts." Her eyes become distant again, and I continue holding her hand. "It was on the way back from one of those meetings that I met Jules, and that's where I understood the reason why I survived. We fell in love, but he had a public life and I couldn't expose myself because I was afraid that they would come after me. I told Jules what had happened and unlike what I thought he would do, he embraced me. He promised me that he wouldn't tell anyone, not even you two until I was ready and safe. And he did that. He kept us a secret for months. We saw each other every time he came back to Nice, after the races." She finishes.

Charles and I watched as Cecilia tried to calm her breathing, her grip on the sleeping Vincenzo's body tightening as if afraid he might disappear from her arms at any moment.

It breaks my heart to see all her pain and gives me a completely different perspective from when I walked in here today. She loved Vincenzo, and that was clear, just as she had loved Jules. And that's the part that hurts me the most.

Knowing that the reason Jules never mentioned her to us, his friends and family, was sole to protect her, made my heart heavy and warm at the same time. That was so Jules.

I remember months before he died, he started to spend more time in his hometown and whenever we asked him about it, he said he wanted to spend a little more time with his family. We even found it a little strange, but Jules always had a great relationship with his parents and closest relatives, which made us simply let it go and just enjoy the time we spent together before he and Charles had to go back to racing.

"I'm sorry for all of this, really, Cecilia," Charles is the first to say after she seems calmer. "But we still need to know why you're only coming to us now," he says, and I agree.

Cecilia nods and looks at Vincenzo in her arms. The tension emanating from her makes me shiver, and Charles probably noticed it too as his hand finds my thigh under the table.

"About two days before Jules' death, I found out I was pregnant with Vincenzo," she says and I nod in understanding. "Jules was racing in Shanghai and I was scared and alone here." The tears that had ceased returned in stronger waves.

My mind teleports back to 2019, to Jules' last race. He was so happy to finish seventh that day. But, all of a sudden, he just wanted to go home and rest, not even celebrating with the boys on the grid.

"I sent him a message after the race. I said I needed him to come to Nice as soon as possible because something had happened," Cecilia looks at Charles as she speaks. "Then he sent me a message saying he would take the first available flight back to France."

As Cecilia talks, Charles' grip on my thigh gets stronger. I look at him from the corner of my eye and I can see the moment his Adam's apple goes up and down.

"So that's why he left so quickly that day," Charles' voice sounds low. "He left before I could talk to him..." His eyes fill with tears and his breathing becomes a bit unstable. Cecilia just nods and closes her eyes tightly before continuing.

"When Jules arrived in Nice, it was already early morning and it was raining heavily. He tried to get a taxi or Uber, but couldn't get either," this time I feel my breathing falter a bit as she continues. "He managed to rent a car from a nearby 24-hour agency and sent me a message saying he would arrive soon and that I didn't need to worry because no matter what was happening, everything would be okay and that he loved me."

Charles stood up abruptly. His face adopted a look of disbelief.

"It was you..." his voice was weak and accusatory. "It was because of you that he... My God!" He flinches and his hands pass through his face and his hair.

"Charles..." I try to calm him down, even though I am also anxious. "Charles, please sit down and try to calm down." I try to grab his hand, but he recoils in a sudden movement.

"Calm down? It's her, Marie!" he says, pointing to Cecilia who only shrinks into her chair and holds Vincenzo even tighter, as he moves uncomfortably in her lap. "She killed him! IT'S HER FAULT THAT JULES DIED!" he screams.

My breathing becomes difficult and my heart races. In front of me, Cecilia sobs and holds Vincenzo even closer to her body.

All that commotion made some employees start to appear and approach at a safe distance from the table.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Cecilia pleads. "I swear I never wanted this to happen, I was so scared and..." She stops when she hears Vincenzo's low cry.

Charles' attention goes to the little boy as he realizes he is now awake. He shakes his head in a negative motion and leaves the café in a hurry, slamming the door hard behind him. We are startled by the noise and the little boy cries even louder. I quickly get up to go after Charles, but before I do, I turn to Cecilia.

"Please wait here, okay? I'll try to calm him down. Don't leave," I say, and she nods, her face stained with tears that continued to fall, and her breathing accelerated as she rocked Vincenzo, trying to calm him down.

A dark-haired waitress approaches with a glass of water in her hands and places it in front of Cecilia. I thank her with a gesture and quickly leave through the door to find Charles.

It doesn't take me long to find him, he was in front of a black car. His body leaned against the driver's side. Even from a distance, I can see his body shaking and hear the sound of his erratic breathing. I approach him slowly, so as not to startle him.

When I get close enough, I think about touching him, but the thought leaves my mind when I realize it's not a good idea.

"Charles..." I call him softly to get his attention. "I'm sorry, but we need to go back there. She-"

"No!" he exclaims. "Please, Marie! Don't ask me to go back there. She killed him! It was her fault!" He stares at me with red and swollen eyes.

My heart tightens at the sight of him like this. I find myself being sent back to the year of Jules' death, specifically to the day of his funeral.

I wanted to hug Charles and tell him that everything would be okay, but in reality, I didn't know if it would. Jules had died almost four years ago, and yet it still hurt every time his name was mentioned. And hearing today from a stranger the reasons that resulted in his death was not easy. But there was a reason why Cecilia wanted to contact us after all this time, and we needed to know.

I take a deep breath and decide to approach Charles more. One of us had to try to be rational at this moment, and if it had to be me, okay. I wasn't going to go back to Italy without an answer.

"Charles, I understand that it's difficult to hear all of this suddenly," my hands go to his face. "I know it hurts, Charles. I'm feeling it too." He closes his eyes and I feel tears rolling down my face. "But we can't blame her entirely, Charles. She was scared and just wanted to talk to him.”

“And it resulted in his death." He says, his eyes opening and meeting mine. "Marie, if she hadn't done what she did, he would be here now. He would be alive and he would have met..." His voice trails off. "He would have met his son." He cries and I pull him into a hug.

Jules died without knowing his son. Jules died without knowing that he would have a son. Jules died in the dark without knowing what was happening to Cecilia. Jules died alone and worried, and nothing we can do will bring him back. He died. It's over. But Charles and I are still here.

"Jules died without knowing his son, but we're still here and we can do this for him," I say and he squeezes me tighter.

 "We're still here, Charles. And we can do this." He breaks the hug and looks at me with a face full of sorrow. I nod. 

"We need to go in there together. Together," he looks down at his feet. "Charles, I need you to go in there with me because I can't do this alone." His eyes come back to me and he understands that I used the same words he did a few years ago. "Please, Charles. I don't want to do this alone. I can't." He nods and I take his hand and slowly lead him back to the cafe.

When we walk through the door, my eyes meet Cecilia's. I nod my head to let her know it's okay, and she nods in understanding. I look at Charles who stares at her expressionlessly. His gaze is icy, totally different from the one I once knew.

Still holding Charles' hand, I walk toward the table where she uncomfortably waits for us. I notice that Vincenzo is no longer in her lap and feel momentary concern that quickly passes when I see him playing with the same red-haired waitress who had served us.

We sit in our chairs and I see that our orders are placed on the table. I feel my stomach churn just looking at the cappuccino in front of me. I take glance around and notice the employees trying to avoid looking at us. I make a mental note to "solve" this problem so it doesn't follow us when we leave.

"Just say what you want," Charles breaks the silence, his eyes still staring at Cecilia who nods and swallows hard.

"I understand your anger, and I know I have no right to ask for what I'm about to ask," she says and my hearing sharpens. "I live with guilt for years. Whether it's for Paolo or Jules, guilt and remorse follow me wherever I go. No matter what I try to do, they're always there." She looks at her hands. "Last year, I relapsed. I used heroin, once, but I used it. After years of resisting and not even going near drugs, I let my messed-up mind fall into the hole and I shot up." She lets out a desperate laugh and her eyes fill with water.

My body freezes and Charles makes a sound of scorn beside me. When he opens his mouth to say something, Cecilia cuts him off.

"Yes, I know I'm a whore, and I deserve the worst shit life has in store for me. But that's the thing. I deserve the bad things, but my son doesn't," she says firmly, looking at us seriously. "I need Vincenzo to have a good and decent life. I need to make sure he grows up loved and that he never lacks anything." She looks away for a moment to the table where Vincenzo was happily playing with the waitress and then back to us.

Cecilia takes a deep breath and leans forward. I could swear she was capable of asking for anything at that moment. Money, a house in a distant place, a period in rehab, anything.

"I can't take care of Vincenzo anymore," she asserts, her tone exuding bitterness. "I promised Jules that I would do everything to make him different from me. And that's why I came to you after all these years."

My head spins. She's asking for...? No, it's not possible.

"What do you mean by that?" Charles asks anxiously.

"Cecilia wipes the tears from her face with her hand, blinks a few times, and adopts a determined look, a look that I knew well. The same look I gave to myself in the mirror when I decided to leave Monaco. Suddenly, I feel afraid because my suspicions are confirmed.

"She wants us to take care of Vincenzo," I say.

#charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc x black!reader #charles leclerc x reader angst #charles lecrelc #pierre gasly #carlos sainz fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #lewis hamilton #formula 1

[floradinterlunium]

GCF Tokyo

Will Forever be the Captain of this “Ship.” I wish every supporter of Jikook today could have been in the fandom 5 years ago. Could have had the pleasure of waking up on November 8th to this beautiful declaration of love! Jikook have given us so much since then But this for the moment takes the cake!

I joined the fandom in 2015 closer to 2016. I was barely in the fandom two weeks before being pretty convinced that Jikook were more than friends ( I can go into detail later about that).  I remember constantly being torn between certainty and uncertainty because while jikook were questionable pre 2017, they were still more subtle. However, 2017 was a crescendo, every month getting a tad bit louder...we all knew something was on the horizon and then September hit and JK had a breach in his security and his itinerary was leaked. This sent the fandom into overdrive. Half the fandom scrambling to rid the internet of this info, and the other half torn between letting their curiosity get the best of them and shutting down sesange gossip. However, regardless of where one stood, if you were active in the fandom at all during this time you heard the rumors, you saw the itinerary, you learned about the gossip--JK and JM were going to Tokyo in October for JM’s birthday and JK paid for it. I remember trying hard to not talk about it or think about it. It could very well be a lie and it wasn’t right how we came to learn about it! Bloggers overall did a good job of shutting down discussions on this topic so there was silence on it...until there wasn’t.

Jimin’s birthday comes and goes and no trip. This leaves many to forget the rumors all together. Then October 28th hits and the below pictures are shared.

The whole fandom is going crazy! Jungkook and Jimin are in fact heading to Tokyo. They were spotted at Busan International Airport and seen off by their families. No one wants to say it but we are all thinking it...the rumors were true...and that was a legit sesange.

Every day they are gone we are being shown picture after picture of their time in Tokyo. And I remember thinking...Did JK really pay for all this...did he truly do this for JM’s birthday?!?!

Then the trip was over...the fandom was still recovering from the news that JM and JK literally went on vacation together and it was an all expense paid trip...paid for by none other than JK.  Then JM drops another bomb.

The fandom is sent back into overdrive...we could just see the pink aura around them! And it made all of us crazy because we couldn’t believe this was all happening and we were getting to experience it in real time.

And just as we were thinking we are in heaven...JM post his clips of their trip together. We are sent again into party celebration mode. 

When I tell you 2017 was the year, it was the year!!! It was day after day of being hit with something new. But just when we thought we were done the crescendo of the year reached it’s peek...JK drops GCF in Tokyo. And there was a short quiet. 

There was a quiet stillness because while most of us believed Jikook were a couple, we had resolved ourselves to the fact that we could be wrong. GCF Tokyo changed all that. 

I remember watching it over and over and over again thinking...OH MY! This is real...I’ve always felt it was real but this...this makes me know it’s real. It was a quiet but loud realization that reverberated across the fandom. Jungkook is in LOVE LOVE with Jimin. For a moment I thought this was their coming out video...because who could watch this and question Jikook at all! Was this it! Was this their way of telling the world who they love? 

While many still found a way to discredit GCFT, I think it was in a way JK’s way of declaring his love to JM, declaring it to anyone that would listen. I believe most of Korea heard it and we heard it! November 8th was the day my certainty turned into assurance. It is one of the most beautiful films and every time I watch it I am in awe of JK’s boldness. My heart melts thinking of JM’s reaction to seeing it for the first time. How loved he must have felt! How surprised...he must have cried so much!

When they returned they kept surprising us. Every year since 2017 has been a little louder. I think GCFT showed them that they could get away with a lot. That they could be a glass closet...they could be loud and people still would feign ignorance or deny it. It gave them a degree of freedom to be themselves without fear of the repercussions. If people weren’t convinced by GCFT they will never be convinced!

I wanted to write about this because I hear many people scoff at any mention of GCFT and say things like...that was years ago! And that bothers me to my core because GCFT is tantamount to a love letter or a proposal. A proposal is a proposal no matter if it was 5 seconds ago or 5 years ago. It doesn’t matter if the couple is still together or not...the proposal happened proving at the very least that love was once there! 

Saying that it was years ago is not a rebuttal, I’m not even sure what one is trying to suggest with that statement. Are you saying that because it’s old, it’s irrelevant? If that’s the case you are admitting that 5 years ago it was relevant, meaning you accept that they were dating 5 years ago? But most that make these claims wouldn’t agree to those terms. They throw out that’s old to diminish the impact of it...to pretend like old evidence isn’t evidence today of a relationship. 

Saying “ that was years ago” is a senseless statement that holds no genuine meaning. GCF Tokyo will always be proof...even if they broke up it would still be proof that Jikook were in love in 2017! It will always be proof because it’s like a page from JK’s diary...it’s his heart on the screen! It’s his love letter to JM and that will never change. That is a fact and will always stand to be true...10, 20, 100 years from now...GCFT will still be JK’s love letter! No amount of time changes that.

Now we can all argue when their relationship started and we all have our theories but stamp in the timeline that is certain is November 8, 2017. They were definitely in a committed relationship at that time and since I see no change in their dynamics other than growing intimacy, domesticity, and comfort...it’s safe to assume that their timeline is still active and moving. 

#jikook #kookmin #gcf tokyo #jimin #jungkook #jikook is real #jk loves jimin #jimin loves jk

[calumthoodshands]

LUKE HEMMINGS for TUSH magazine

- Tailor made -

On stage, Luke Hemmings is living his bloom, For Givenchy Beauty, the butterfly follows a different trail of scent.

Von Domen & Van De Velde - Into the flowerbed -

Interview by Afra Ugurlu.

It's pouring rain in L.A. when Luke Hemmings joins our zoom call. Just in time, the frontman of 5 Seconds of Summer (5SOS) finds refuge in his car on the side of a quiet road, not far from the big Hollywood sign. A look in the rear-view mirror: At the age of barely 16, Luke and his bandmates from 5SOS found themselves in the middle of an international fanbase. Their songs enthralled especially because of the band's juvenile euphoria, and the Australians quickly soared to new heights in the middle of the YouTube madness of the 2010s. But what happens when boybands grow up? After a decade of pop punk influences and with a little more chest hair, Luke took upon a solo career path for the first time and in 2021 released his debut album “When facing the things we turn away from”; a whole new insight into the obstacles and the success of the last years, he later reveals.

Almost 10 years have passed since “She looks so perfect” and “Don’t stop”. What has the last decade been like for you?

I'm living my dream, what else can I say? It was all very intense. You just accepted whatever came at you. For eleven years, for as long as I grew up, that’s been my whole life. Quite crazy, all the stuff that just came flying at us. I don't know whether we would have allowed ourselves this, even if rather short, break if not for the pandemic. Usually it all feels so fast-paced, I often have to pause to mentally take it all in—if you asked me to describe the last decade, then it’d consist of so many moments like that.

Did you ever feel like you were missing out on certain things and experiences during all that hustle and bustle?

I think they were very formative years, so there are probably some life skills I missed out on. In retrospect, you wonder: when was I supposed to learn that? And then you try to somehow fill those gaps. I had to emotionally catch up, but also with things like doing laundry, running errands and so on. There are some more significant matters, like not being close to my family, not to mention that I was missing my home in general. But then you start to put all those thoughts into another perspective: we did what we always wanted to do: write music and perform.

I remember 2014 and 2015, black, ripped skinny jeans and vans. How do you see yourself now, regarding your style?

Pop punk has always been a huge inspiration, and it was simply the style of all these bands like Green Day, Blink 182 and Silverchair. Back then, I was an absolute late bloomer and had to first of all grow into my own identity. I think it was similar with the other guys. We had found a thing that worked, and just stuck with it. It also just felt like a risk to me, doing something other than that, especially in front of an audience. Around the time of our third album, I started to open up a bit more. Our music was changing, and with it our style. At that point I understood myself a little bit better. From then on it just kind of evolved, and I think it still does.

By now you are someone who likes to step out and look beyond the binary. Was that always something that you were interested in or did you rather find yourself getting into it step by step over time?

Where I grew up, people weren’t open at all, everyone wore the same thing. For a long time, it simply wasn’t even on my radar. And of course, I’m not doing anything that someone else hasn't already done before me. I think it was in 2017 when I just started experimenting with glitter and nail polish. From that moment on it all evolved a bit, but it's actually always been something that fascinated me. It just took a while for me to find that part of myself. I feel pretty doing it, and who doesn't want to feel that way? If you only go on stage with a tracksuit, that might be cool. But I'm not an extrovert, quite the opposite, and when I perform and feel so much bigger, it's almost like playing a character. The makeup only emphasises that and turns me into someone who is not introverted and lost in thought. That's the origin of it all, so to speak.

How can we overcome these toxic gender perceptions and behavioural patterns, and heal?

I think a lot of the stigma we experience comes from people projecting their own insecurities onto us. I understand it better now because I grew up in a place that was very toxic in that regard. I'm from West Sydney, which was very conservative. If you’re a man, you have to be really ‘masculine’ and I think that's just complete nonsense. And I think that just sticks with you, growing up like that. There was a time when I came home and didn't want to wear makeup on stage. There was no way I would have done that, whereas now I just do what I'm most comfortable with. Personal growth means putting yourself first and accepting that people will think what they want either way. So really, you should just do whatever you want. That’s the way I'm trying to see it now. It sounds very simple and banal, but I wouldn’t know how else to put it.

Congratulations, by the way, on the release of your first solo album, “When facing the things we turn away from”. Which things do you want to turn away from this year and what else is there to come for you?

I’m facing myself and trying to be more open with the way I deal with stuff. My wish is to just enjoy everything a little bit more. I constantly worry about what might happen tomorrow. I’m not really present or enjoying the moment to the fullest. Everyone probably says that, but I believe it's more important than ever to live in the here and now. We're always looking for the next thing. You want to be at home when you're out and about, on the road when you’re at home. Only when it's over do you see what you actually had going for yourself, and are frustrated; so no ‘Live Fast, Die Young’. But I also think that this year will be a creative one for me. I want to try out new things. We’ll see which doors are going to open for me.

What kind of creative directions are you thinking about?

I can't really say yet. But also in general I don't want to limit myself by excluding new paths. Doing something by myself musically like the album was very intimidating at first. In the end, though, it was very encouraging as well because it was the first time in a long time that I tried something new again. Obviously I love being in the band, it’s my home base. But the solo album is something I never thought I’d be capable of, and now that I know that I am it’s definitely something I want to pursue further.

How do you manage working both on your solo career and with the band at the same time, and are there any points of overlap?

I have a feeling that with the first album it was a bit easier. We were in lockdown and everything on the band's schedule had to be cancelled. Suddenly, I had more free time than in the last 10 years together. I don’t think I would have made a solo album if it didn't come about this way. With four people in the band, all great songwriters and each having their own projects in the pipeline, I feel like it's actually for everyone’s benefit to give other things a try as well. I wondered what it could be like to produce a song from start to finish, and learned so much in the process. Afterwards, when I return to the band, it makes me feel like I know so much more about the recording process and can thus also be a better band member.

How did writing and composing for only yourself change your overall sound?

I don't know whether it significantly changed my sound, but I feel more confident than ever. When you're in a band, you have the luxury to lean on other people and ask: What do you think of this? Do you think it's good, or should we change this? Or someone will encourage you when you're on the right track, telling you to keep going. With this, the only input came from myself. I had to trust my instincts and first of all understand what my own sound really did sound like.

You have no features on your album. Was it important to you to create your first solo album by yourself?

After 10 years on tour, it was quite good to be alone for once and deal with my subconscious. The album is so personal and emotional to me, it didn't really lend itself to include any features. Maybe someday, but I think it has to fit perfectly then. And who knows what’s coming soon. But I think the point and purpose of doing something by yourself is to get accustomed to working without your usual tools.

What did you learn about yourself while working on “When facing the things we turn away from”?

Newfound empathy and love towards myself. The stories of these songs and the lyrics are mostly things I’m dealing with for the very first time. It's almost like writing a diary, you don't have any idea how to start. You sit down and something comes out of it, and that’s what you then try to decipher.

#5sos #luke hemmings #sololuke #hope this helps! #if you click on the title you'll find the photos @ meg's post!

[justabigoldnerd]

A Guide to Works by JustABigOldNerd

I saw @hypnostheory do this and I have 38 (holy shit!) works in the TMFU Fandom on Ao3, so I wanted to as well!

"I wanna read somethings soft and sweet" Okay! I don't have a lot, but:

Kintsukuroi - Set in the Winged Spies universe, Solo catches up with an old friend

I'm Going to the Stars Tonight - Playful (and drunk) winged spies

In Summer We Can Taste The Rain - Solo catches a winged Illya preening in the rain

Ravens Love The Snow - A winged Solo can't resist the call of the snow

A Christmas Peril - A Christmas fic!

Surrender Yourself - a funny little pre-slash ficlet based on a writing prompt found here

I Want To Fade Away With You - Modern-ish AU company paintball tournament goes (hilariously) wrong

In The Moonlight, We Let It Go - Poolside confessions

"I'd like some light angst, nothing too serious, please" Gotcha covered:

One More or One Less (Nobody's Worried) - Winged Spies canon rewrite

The Toil of Expectations - Medieval AU with a happy ending and a couple of explicit smut scenes

"Q" Is For Kid - the trio accidentally acquire a child on their mission to stop a Nazi faction from developing a nerve gas

To Grow Old In Simplicity - this is mostly happy, the angst comes from the fear of outliving your partners and the struggles that come with being an aging (former) spy

The Moment I Knew I'd No Choice But To Love You - the agnst in this one is more memory related

Is That The Kinda Way To Face The Burning Heat? - porn with a little bit of angsty backstory

Nothin' But The Water And The Sunrise Now - light angsty backstory with some fun NOS-induced moments and a happy ending

All Eyes On Me (Your Eyes On Me) - this one's a bit heavier, but the angst is just internalized homophobia and Illya not wanting to be a honeypot but needing to. Has masturbation and explicit smut

I Am Scared Of Nothing - religious trauma

A Rather Frightening Thing - religious trauma

As Sharp And Serious As A Pistol In The Eye - canon rewrite (explicit smut)

It Takes Three To Tango - post-canon

"Alright, now I want the heavy stuff. Gimme the angst!" Coming right up, my friend!!

Emotional Angst:

You Had To Be A Big Shot, Didn't You (You Had To Open Up Your Mouth) - Winged Solo backstory

My Wings Have Been So Denied - Winged Illya as a child

She'll Tell You She's an Orphan After You Meet Her Family - Winged Gaby grieving (explicit smut)

You Take Me In Your Arms When Walls Are Closing In - Body Horror in (false)memory

Pretty Piece of Flesh - sexual trauma (explicit sexual content)

The Awful Things We Do To Make The Head Go Quiet - near suicide attempt

Lost On You - internalized homophobia and period typical homophobia

Physical Harm:

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love (Falling From You Drop By Drop) - Alternative ending where Illya shoots Solo (he lives)

Let Me Be Your Own Icarian Carrion - Winged Spies, Illya goes down in the water

One Deep Breath Out From The Sky - Missing scene fic after the motorcycle crash

Whumptober 2023 - "The Man From Uncle (2015)" - I mean. This is Whumptober. So.

Will You Remember All The Danger We Came From? - Vampire Illya prequel. Body Horror.

All My Love And Terror Balanced There - Illya wakes up as a Vampire. (Explicit smut)

I'd Block The Sun (If You Want It Done) - the trio's plane goes down in the middle of the ocean and they have to survive on a deserted island

Grounded And Giving And Darkening Scorn - Illya's past comes back to haunt him

The Injury of Finally Knowing You - 5+1 Times fic

Major Character Death (temporary):

The End Is All I Can See (And It Scares The Hell Out Of Me) - time loop

"I want that one restaurant critic AU that will be updates eventually but hasn't for a while!" Uh, oddly specific, and thank you for wanting to read this unfinished fic, and I WILL finish it eventually, but, uh, here ya go!:

Michelin Star Spy - Illya is a food critic swept up in spydom.

#tmfu #the man from uncle #illya kuryakin #napoleon solo #gaby teller #tmfu movie #napollya #gallya #illya x napoleon x gaby #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3

[eosr-by-muxse]

"It's Just a Little Derailment!"

May 1930

The Adventure Begins (2015)

Word Count: 579

Thomas derails in the yard.

~

By the time the sun fully rose, Thomas was the last one sleeping in, loudly snoring. The other engines didn’t mind it. Besides, they were used to Gordon’s snoring and James’ muttering. A little more noise wouldn’t hurt. The tank engine struggled to sleep in his new home the night before and fell asleep hours after Edward did.

Said engine was accompanied by James, and the pair poked their smokeboxes—“like curious dogs,” their crews often joke —into the sheds. The latter stuck around for amusement, only to be annoyed instead.

“Thomas!” whispered Edward as the tank engine’s crew struggled to keep his fire going. “Thomas, get up!”

Heterochromatic eyes rolled at the bronze-eyed engine's attempts. “With that voice, you’re just pulling him into deep sleep!”

“I rather no’ wake him up wit’ a start!”

“Well, I'm not sticking around any further!”

“Whit ur ye-?”

The black tender engine blasted his whistle. The shrill pierced Edward’s smokebox, startled the crews, and shook Thomas awake. “Bloody hell, James!” scolded the khaki tank engine.

“Bloody hell, yourself!” retorted James, scoffing at Edward's glare. “You didn't think your muttering would actually wake him up, did you?”

“Naw, but-”

“And don’t you have a train to pull?”

“Aye-!”

“Then you should be grateful!”

“I am!” Edward internally winced at his own volume. Raising his voice? Who did he think he was? “I am.” Much better. “I just wish ye could've given a warnin’.”

“To you?”

…Maybe. “Naw.”

“Excuse me!” Thomas piped up. Maybe that whistle was a good wake-up call as he couldn't feel sleepiness in his system. “I can't get out if you’re in the way!”

Bronze eyes widened. “Och, dear- Sorry!” As quickly and carefully as Edward could, he backed away and switched tracks. “Is thon-?”

“I’m running late!” The khaki tank engine bolted out of his berth.

“Thomas-!” Edward braced himself, knowing he didn't have enough time to move out of the way. He squeezed his eyes shut, but the feeling of crushed buffers never came.

With a peek, Edward was surprised to see Thomas mere inches away from him, derailed.

“No"s spilled from the E2, who tried getting back on the rails. He jerked back, jostling his crew in his cab like a wild bull, who tried to calm him down. To other engines, it was a small derailment. Nothing to fret about. But to him? Oh, god, they’ll find out how defective he was. And when they do, they'll send him packing to the Southern Railway, and who knows what they’ll do to him.

The Southern Railway sold him off to this small railway, quicker than any sale he’s ever seen or heard about. He wasn't oblivious. His siblings weren't either. They were very aware of their poor performance. They failed to do their intended job because of how they were built, and they couldn't change that.

Thomas couldn't change that.

So when Edward buffered up to him and pushed him back, Thomas was shocked. The voices of Mr. Perkins and Archie guiding Edward came to him, the pair having climbed off at some point. “What-?”

“Thare ye go!” cheered the blue tender engine. “Back oan the rails! Come oan, ye two. We've got work tae dae!”

Stumped, Thomas didn't catch onto James’ muttering as he distantly followed Edward. The smaller tender engine pushed him back on the rails with ease. It was practically a nudge.

Was it really that simple? pondered the large tank engine as his crew opened his regulator and released his brakes. With a slow start, Thomas rolled down the tracks onto the Main Line.

~

Notes

This was supposed to be part of another part but I felt like there would've been too much going on in that part, so I cut it down to just this scene. SO here we are. A short one at that! Not including TGR 2x5 Roleswap, this is my shortest fic by far.

I didn't consider this a rewrite until I remembered the scene where Henry is trying to wake Thomas up so yeah-

I like both newbieTAB!Thomas and RWS/ClassicEra!Thomas, so I combined both for Thomas' introduction arc.

Rewriting this from scratch actually helped, as well as finding out that music does not help (I rewrote it in between class 💀 I had time to kill so why not, pft-)

Hope you enjoyed! Comments + reblogs are appreciated :]

#my writing #engines of sudrian rails (shipverse) by muxse #engines of sudrian rails by muxse #ttte thomas #ttte edward #ttte james #ttte fic

[fallloverfic]

"Nimona" the movie art style inspiration

This tweet basically summarizes a big thing I've been thinking about when looking at reactions to the Nimona teaser and footage releases.

But actually we have to go back to 2012 first, when Paperman the short film released under Disney (it was attached to Wreck-It Ralph).

For background, Nimona is a webcomic turned graphic novel by Nate Diana Stevenson. The adaptations rights were purchased by Fox in 2015, who assigned it to Blue Sky Studios to make. Disney purchased 20th Century [Fox] Animation in 2019, and shuttered Blue Sky before the film was complete, cancelling the project in February 2021. The film was picked up by Annapurna (production), DNEG (animation, with use of Blue Sky materials), and Netflix (distribution/marketing). It will premiere at the Annecy International Animation Film Festival in France on June 14th, 2023, show in limited theaters on June 23, 2023, and be on Netflix for general streaming on June 30th, 2023 at 3 AM EDT. Anyway, Paperman.

Cannot stress enough that this short was really groundbreaking. While Nimona the movie adaptation didn't start life at Disney, 2012 was long before Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse came out in 2018 (or when it started production by 2015 or so). In point of fact, we knew back when Nimona was cancelled in 2021 (or earlier) that it was planned even then to use an evolved version of Paperman's art style. Notably, the short's animation supervisor was Patrick Osbourne. (Paperman's director, John Kahrs, also worked at Blue Sky prior to this, and the composer, Christophe Beck, is also composing the score for Nimona, but let's focus on Osbourne).

(Also kind of... random theory, a lot of people are criticizing the office building sequence in the Nimona teaser footage cause they think it looks "unfinished", I think because they're confusing intentionally minimalist "modern" design with being "unfinished". But a part of me kind of wonders if the design itself is some sort of homage to Paperman, which largely took place in an office building, though also it's just an office building, it's not surprising the design is minimalist).

Anyway, Feast the short film was released in 2014, and it was directed by Osbourne.

Osbourne was later one of the original directors for the Nimona film before it was cancelled by Disney in 2021 (the article is from June 2015, and leads with the fact Osbourne directed Feast, and notes that he also worked on Paperman). Watch both the Paperman and Feast shorts, you'll see the same style there. Again, 2014 is a lot earlier than 2018.

And then of course Blue Sky (original animation studio for Nimona prior to the Disney cancellation) released The Peanuts Movie in 2015. DNEG has used a lot of Blue Sky Studios materials in their production to complete Nimona. A number of Blue Sky folks were brought back on to work on the project, as well. And based on leaked stuff from around the Disney cancellation, we know the stuff carried over (in the articles it's framed kind of like it leaked when the film was officially revived in April 2022, but the footage on the article came out around/before Nimona's cancellation in 2021).

Folks also need to remember that just because film A released after film B doesn't mean that film A was inspired by B, particularly with the long production schedules of animation (and in the case of something with as rocky a production history as Nimona).

From what I can tell, both Nimona and Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse began production around the same time (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse was in talks around 2014/2015, and seemingly was in at least pre-production by early 2015; Fox bought the adaptation rights for Nimona sometime in/around early June 2015). While Nimona was still in production when Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse came out in 2018, it had been in production for around three years at that point. Certainly it was developing for a long time, even before it was cancelled in 2021 (6 years versus Spiderverse's 3), and projects stuck in development hell do make 180s sometimes. I just kind of doubt they just saw Spiderverse, or even the marketing materials for it, and completely redesigned things based solely on that, given what we know of the development plans and who they picked for the project. Comparatively, The Peanuts Movie also had a very long production time, seemingly, with the idea originating in 2006.

Whatever the case may be, and no shade on the amazing beauty of Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (gorgeous, amazing film, please watch it if you haven't), I highly doubt we have Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse to thank for Nimona the movie's existence/appearance, or later films or shows using similar styles. At best, I think there's a non-zero possibility that the 2018 success of Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse helped encourage Annapurna, DNEG, and Netflix to give Nimona a chance in 2021-2 to revive it after Disney shuttered Blue Sky Studios in 2021, but I doubt that's why the film looks the way it does, and the fact that what already existed for Nimona the film would have been a key convincing point there (e.g., here's our project that kind of looks like that/is planned to look that really popular thing).

#Nimona movie #Nimona film #paperman #the peanuts movie #feast #spider-verse did not walk so that Nimona could run #if anything paperman walked so that Nimona could run #and then Feast walked some more so that Nimona could run #maybe I'm missing an interview somewhere saying Spiderverse inspired Nimona #but Spiderverse didn't exist when Nimona was in pre-production #and the people they picked specifically had already worked with this style of art #so I doubt it

[obscene-beans]

Okay it’s been 10 hours and I’m still thinking about Nimona and I can’t stop so I’m gonna talk about it. I said in a previous post that I see myself in her and it’s bewildering because I’ve never seen myself in a character before. This is new to me.

I came out as agender on March 31st 2015, when the prospect of gender identity was still new to me and I was a baby trans trying figure it all out. I was a sophomore in high school, I thought I had to bind, I thought I had to cut my hair, I thought I had to change my name. I did some of those things, and I found what I really enjoyed was looking androgynous and confusing strangers.

It took me some time to understand that I didn’t really have to do these things to be agender, I just had to be myself. As I got older, I grew into myself and gained confidence in who I knew I was, not who other people saw me as.

And I swear in Gloreth’s name, Nimona paints the most accurate picture of who I know I am. Nimona does not conform, REFUSES to conform. She’s not a girl, she’s Nimona. When she’s a shark, a rhino, a dragon, a little boy, Ballister, Ambrosius, she’s still Nimona.

When I was a senior at a new high school, I remember this freshman asking me “wait are you a boy or a girl?” And immediately I replied (with a tiny bit of venom) “Does it matter?” And though it was a very subtle reaction, I saw him recoil in fear at my response. He just mumbled “no…” and I went on with my life. I’m not a girl. I’m not a boy. To tell you the truth I’m not really a people. I’m just a Bean.

You know that episode of Avatar, The Tales of Ba Sing Se? You know the tale of Toph and Katara? You know what Toph says to Katara?

I internalized the hell out of this. I know who I am.

Nimona knows who she is. And still, just like me, she struggles with others’ perceptions of her. I don’t experience gender dysphoria, but on certain occasions I feel a twinge of resentment when I’m called a “she” or a girl. As much as I love and embrace who I know I am, I get scared to be myself in certain environments where I know I won’t be accepted, or be met with ignorance or uncomfortable questions.

But still I prevail with who I am. My therapist asked me when I told her that this particular person instantly falls silent the minute I say anything about me being queer, “how does that make you feel?” And I said, “I feel pretty damn powerful.” I live for spite, to reject conformity.

Nimona rejecting conformity, shapeshifting, being free, being her most authentic self, and still at times struggling with it was like seeing myself in a mirror for the first time. She’s just like me fr

#nimona #agender #gender identity #queer pride #agender pride #trans pride #nimona movie #atla #avatar the last airbender #toph beifong

[citizen-zero]

it is sooooo frustrating that Caitlyn Jenner turned out to be a Republican asshole (like she probably always was tbh) with massive internalized queerphobia bc like

okay if you weren’t old enough to be paying attention at the time you might not realize how v public her coming out and subsequent transition were. like she was going on TV and doing interviews before getting her surgeries done and talking about her experience and she had a whole show about her transition

and I remember her talking about how much black trans women have done for queer rights and basically like saying stuff that was (in my perception) only just starting to enter the public discourse. I remember watching her talk and feeling like all the stuff she was saying was stuff I only saw on Tumblr or in the queer theory classes I was taking in college

like, she came out in April 2015!!! 3 months before same sex marriage was legalized!! She came out at a time when we were fighting for the bare minimum of marriage equality and people were still arguing about whether it should be allowed, like trans issues did not have the same spotlight then that they do now and I don’t think there was the same level of support for trans people as there is now

(I know it absolutely doesn’t feel that way but you will basically never find that people in the past had more acceptance and support for queer people than people do now. Like even amid all the anti trans shit we have to deal with there’s still more public support now than there was even as little as 7 years ago. The past might’ve been not as bad as you’d think but that doesn’t mean it was better)

like. This woman was on the cover of Vanity fucking Fair after she’d fully transitioned saying “call me Caitlyn” and I haven’t even mentioned the fact that she was famous for her sports career and for her involvement with the Kardashians like

Idk man it’s just so frustrating seeing how great she started out and seeing how much of a disappointment she ended up being

#personal #erika's blog and bar

[paradoxesofgalaxies]

Do you wanna talk about what the internal journey of realizing your gender was like?

Thanks Atlas 💜

I'm happy to talk about what I remember, though it's pretty spotty.

As a little kid, all our friends were boys. There were a bunch of boys my age in the neighborhood and we would have playdates together. Then cooties became A Thing and I couldn't understand why the boys wouldn't hang out with me anymore. I belonged with them not the girls.

I remember lying in bed as a teen wishing we had a penis. But most girls think that right? It's just curiosity about what it would feel like.

I was a senior in high school when one of my friends came out to me as a trans man. It was a new concept for me but it made sense. Charlie may have gone by a girl's name but but finding out they were a boy seemed right. But of course that could never apply to me.

(I was the first one he told. I look back now and wonder if he saw the same spark in me I couldn't yet see?)

Just after college, we turned to our best friend (now husband) to help us learn to dress more femininely. He taught us how to find flattering clothes and dress more stylishly. For the next few years we leaned into feminity and tried to be a better girl

After we got together, I would often joke with husband about feeling like a gay man in a woman's body (totally just jokes, right??)

Somewhere around 2015, we started identifying as nonbinary. Mostly online and with a couple close people. But, like, I wasn't a Real Trans person, just someone trying to be ~special~, right? I was just appropriating the struggles of others.

In late 2018, I started talking more with my husband about my dysphoria. He had long been able to see what was just now becoming clear for me.

Slowly, tentatively, I began exploring this possibility with him. The first time he called me his husband I was so elated I could have floated away. I started having moments of euphoria. A light in the path to guide me rather than just running from the shadows.

It's been a long and twisting journey and I don't remember most of it. But hopefully, today will be the day I take the next step down my path.

#galactic gab #gender stuff #trans stuff #internalized transphobia #asked and answered

[tiny-tigers]

Playing in his first Six Nations tournament has brought back fond memories of boyhood rugby days for Jack van Poortvliet. 

The 21-year-old scrum half who made his Six Nations debut last weekend against Scotland recalls his time watching international games on television in the clubhouse of North Walsham RFC in Norfolk.

“It’s still a bit strange. The Six Nations is something I would religiously watch growing up. When I spoke to my parents last week when I was starting I was on FaceTime and mum started balling her eyes out. It was one of those where you sit back and think, the Six Nations is so big,” he said.

“I’d watch autumn internationals and summer tours but during the Six Nations you’d play at your local rugby club, minis or whatever and you’d sit around watching it. The rivalries between the home nations and the intensity of all games are unbelievable. To be a part of it is incredibly special. I’m trying to take it week by week and not think too big and focus on what I’ve got to do to help the team. There have been a few pinch-me moments,” he said while reflecting with pride on the past few weeks.

The van Poortvliet family still have strong ties with the local club and remain familiar faces in the clubhouse.

“Sunday games we’d try and play minis in the mornings and whoever was around we would watch the game. I’d watch Walsham on a Saturday and if there was an afternoon or an evening kick-off we’d watch it there. Even last year I watched Walsham play at two o’clock and then watched Italy against Wales afterwards,” he mentioned.

 “The Six Nations is brilliant at bringing people and clubs together. I watched games at home with my family and at the rugby club. My family absolutely love rugby. Me and my dad and mum in particular, my sister likes it now but it took her a while. It’s a brilliant spectacle to be a part of and an unbelievable tournament. To be a part of it is really special,” he added with a beaming smile. 

The England prodigy has not been short of rugby inspiration growing up, with dad Jeff having played flanker for both Saracens and North Walsham.

Alumni from Oakham School in Rutland where he was educated include other internationally capped rugby players such as Hamish Watson, Tom Croft, Lewis Moody, Alex Goode, and most recently, classmate Sam Costelow who made his debut for Wales in the autumn. All have been coached by Leicester Tigers legend, Ian “Dosser” Smith. 

Alongside making a Twickenham appearance in his early teens in the NatWest Schools Vase Final in 2015, van Poortvliet holds dear to him memories of the iconic stadium itself and the historic tournament he saw as a young fan.

“The first one I can remember and what really started it for me was when I came to my only game as a kid that I watched at Twickenham, which was England against France. I can’t remember what year exactly [it was 2011] but I remember Jonny [Wilkinson] slotting a massive kick from 50 metres and Ben Foden was a try scorer,” he said.

“That was my only game I ever got to watch at Twickenham as a kid. I remember that extremely clearly. That is probably my earliest memory of the Six Nations but I would have watched it growing up,” he added.

Since the age of 18 as part of the Leicester Tigers Academy, van Poortvliet has been mentored by none other than Ben Youngs.

With Youngs not included in the squad this week, Northampton Saints’ Alex Mitchell will be the one to replace van Poortvliet from the bench.

Despite Mitchell being from the East Midlands rival club to van Poortvliet’s Tigers, the pair work well together.

“Ben’s been brilliant with me all the way through from 18 to now. They’ve got a lot of similarities. Everyone has seen the quality of Mitch’s attacking game in the Premiership so that should be really exciting to see. We’ve all got slight differences and similarities but the biggest thing is how we can work together, Mitch and I tomorrow, and putting the best foot forward for 80 minutes together and how we perform the best for 80 minutes to help the team,” he said. 

#jvp

[the-firebird69]

Freya Ridings - Castles (Live At The Barbican)

He said the mask is 80 miles long and it's the base and I said what is this no one's ever said that I said you've never seen the movie mission to Mars I feel it was sent back and I said oh and it's 2015 not 98 when it happened and I said wow this is clever stuff well it sucks mush for me it starts you can see it right in the movie I don't want to ruin it you'll get it right away and what happens to them is kind of weird they might be in Brazil already and it might cost Star wars and it's in a saucer in Indiana Jones Kingdom of the crystal skulls and it's recoverable problem with the machine does it and she says this is insanity it's not really the form of petrification and it happens sometimes to mummies and if you're cohabitating with a mutated deep sea creature theoretically it's not that impossible and she got a little angry and said I don't understand him but this is weird s*** it might be real I said well it's not too hard to imagine why that would be important and they can't understand it at all said no my friend my clan please check some people so I left that I felt related a little better I started checking into it and they said the mask is gigantic and they have signal emission and I'm checking it and saying the same thing a lot we're stranded here so I looked at a smile that I said it's probably them and they're telling me who they are and I said this is crazy so now there's a group and I'm okay how's calling for help and he's saying all this weird s*** and then he says you know what I think I should look into what you're talking about but it came from Justin cuz he went down to the cap he went down to the buffet and people are now seeing it just no use for him no you're wrong you're very wrong and he's saying these two castles that people look for now are for a symbolism and it's about Jupiter and Elysium with machete tonight was insanity I can't stand it anymore I don't talk like she does he says but he remembers me and I get it it's not calling someone that but really it's like girls don't usually say it and yeah I'm a hippie so I'm pretty pleased with house turned out I can't wait to get him back

Freya ridings

We are talking about these castles and there is one of the West for myself and they're saying it's Michelle audette and we're saying no but they're saying it's their rulership castle and they are big enough to rule over Jupiter and maybe a little bit larger than we would be about 35 ft tall and Higgins armory is his side and that would be without the floors in the middle and the arms would be on the sides and it came around no nobody spoke about it and they said they had to check and they figured out something this place is very evil and they felt afraid and it was the Giants domicile and they did not want to be there and they kept saying it to themselves secretly they tried to find people to take the job over you should see how people really react they are in fear and we're not saying they shouldn't be now I've located a few of mine and he said this isn't going to be that hard that's where I was going a lot of the times and one of them is the international Fair it's like all those buildings and the other one is the science center in LA and it had the body Wells and he said oh great if this is ours I'm going to be thinking of these bodies to your side and I'm saying let's gross and as far as something I would do but yeah it's a little bit worse than when you're thinking about it it's a little different oh gross they got Preston out of it and it's an analogy possibly it's a zigzag and it is he says I'll stay in there Frozen and this is helping a lot and the program is moving and it's great

Hera

I cannot say thank you enough it says well we're in a pickle here things are not going it's like living in a pond so anything can think of that it would work without causing a problem and I'm going to get to it the guys are saying if they get you something they attack it and it's good and we see with the second ebike and it's good. And he appreciates it I said I'm going to start working on it

Zig

We're going at this now and we're going to work at we're going to show people what we're made of. This woman is someone that I work with and do things with and we're getting her business going and she is getting dimensions off the buildings to replicate them and taking lots of pictures and scans to see how they're built answer replicated exactly how they're built in the same fashion the same size for the same roof structure it's going to be intense okay this woman is intense and people are going to want these all over the world and she is going to start construction on one of them tomorrow and she wants to know how it will go if it's cursed or if she can get away with it and people are saying it we need to see it and we need to see what it's like and it's going to be intense these structures are huge and he wants to make one in Las Vegas and she says would this be big enough and he says of course the hallway is the corridors in the rooms are about 40 to 45 ft and there's the main area and it's probably 80 ft and that's exactly what you wanted it'll be a hotel casino and that's what they make but that'll be New Vegas and that hasn't happened and it won't for a bit and she's laughing and she says I'll need plans and what we can do is draw plans and send them over and they'll fight over it and very harshly and try and put it at now and eventually they'll be a New Vegas and she says good I like that so we're going to head now with this

Freya

In closing I'm going to say shut up you son of a b**** next to my husband cuz he forgot what he was doing and it sounded like more than sure he says and it sounded like more than her and I get that and that happens I have a we're moving on we're going to get those places and stick them together eventually this sounds like a great idea and to do it on Earth

Hera

Olympus he said at first I have to write letters and that's fun

#Youtube

[barbiegirldream]

ok but the thing is ive seen (white!!) dream stans defending the mlg edit?? he was in HIGH SCHOOL when he made it (he lied about his age, he was 16 not 14) and it took him several tweets and at least 30 minutes into his stream to finally admit that he MIGHT have made it. and even then, he barely apologized.

all that jack did was offer some criticism for dream. he didnt watch the apology stream, but he didnt go any deeper than “it was really stupid that he did that”. he didnt speak over anyone, he said what weve all been trying to say this entire time. i just hate seeing dream stans of all people twisting his words and trying to make him out as a misogynist when he was literally speaking facts.

None of this is true. The edit was uploaded to Dream's youtube in November of 2015 but he said it was made beforehand in 2014 when he was 14. You have literally zero way of proving this is not true and to suggest otherwise is extremely parasocial.

What white Dream stans? Huh? The tweets were addressing the situation before he went live and addressed it again. He directly apologized he did not barely apologize. He said he does not remember what he put in the edit so going forward assuming yes he made the edit he knows racism was not funny then and it not funny now and he's sorry. And the edit was the second thing on his list because that situation came after the first one he did it in order. You are acting like a moron right now.

Speaking facts such as 'you have internalized misogyny for calling me misogynistic because i agreed with the obsessed 15 year old girl rheotric that is only ever used in a mocking way against and was being used in a mocking way at the time' Like there is no benefit to trying to lying about Dream's addressing of the situation stop it.

Go watch the apology and come back to me without any of your own personal made up things thx

#discourse

[uniteds]

can you explain the ole and molde thing? you mentioned it a few times without details and I don’t know what that is

Sigh. I’ve personally made a decision in 2019 not to answer too many questions about the Babacar Sarr stuff because the last time I did, I got so much abuse from Ole stans that it was ridiculous. However, I think within the context of Ronaldo, I figured I should answer this one.

tw: rape

Babacar Sarr was first accused of raping a woman in Norway in 2015. There were two counts of rape that night. Police investigated, but didn’t press charges. Ole signed him for Molde in 2016. Sarr’s agent is Jim Solbakken, a long time friend and business partner of Solskjaer, and there’s some tax related stuff that I won’t get into. Keep in mind that he already has two rape allegation on him.

In 2018, while playing for Molde, he was accused of two more rapes. He was charged with one of them, and in a joint criminal and civil case, the criminal charges were dropped but he had to pay damages to the woman. The criminal charges were dropped due to the nature of criminal trials in Norway, but at least one judge was convinced Sarr was guilty and it was all mishandled. In the time between when he was accused and when he was charged, Sarr continued playing for Molde and was even captain several times, which led to protests from both Molde fans and other Norwegian fans. When Ole was questioned about why he kept playing Sarr despite criminal charges on him, Ole said that “We have chosen to trust him, believe him. I think he has handled this situation very well.”

The woman in question said, “Seeing such a well-known person as Solskjær giving Sarr the responsibilities of captain, it scared me. I remember questioning his values.” She stated that she was disappointed in the way Molde handled everything (source). She had to move out of Molde and restart her life again because she said that it was hard for her to be in the same city as her rapist. She appealed the decision, and Norwegian courts granted it.

In 2019, Molde terminated Sarr’s contract by mutual consent, and they said some shit about how he got through a difficult time. Solbakken got him a move to a club in Russia, and he subsequently did not show up in court for either of the hearing that was set on him. Extradition between Russia and the EU is complicated.

In the meantime, another woman came out and said that Sarr raped her while she slept in 2014. That’s the fifth rape that he was accused of in total. Around that time, Norwegian officials put out an international warrant on him. He’s currently wanted by Interpol on six counts of rape (he was charged of another at an end of season Molde party). By the time, Russia was ready to extradite Sarr to Norway, he got a move to Saudi Arabia, again via Jim Solbakken. Saudi Arabia is out of Interpol jurisdiction and has no extradition treaty with Norway. This happened in December 2019, right when Ole got the United job. Sarr’s current whereabouts are unknown.

There is SO much to say about this and I’ve said it all before, but the thing I need to say is that with this in context, please think about why and how Ronaldo came to United and has immediately been treated as a god. You could argue that it’s fans, but it’s a lot more insidious than that.

#tp #rape tw / #I’ll put it behind a cut when I got on to my laptop #long post

[sweetsunflowerkisses]

rest.

Pairing: Pietro Maximoff (MCU) x Fem!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU

Warnings: Mild language, cannon divergence, reader is kind of an oblivious shy dumb-ass who avoids her problems TvT

Summary: After everything life has put you through you just want to walk through life unnoticed and unbothered, but that seems to be out of the question when you're an enhanced working for the avengers and catch the eye of a certain speedster who just so happens to be your soulmate.

Word Count: 3.1k

a/n: this is very shitty and doesn’t make much sense im sorry i haven’t written something like this in so long :’) 

Sokovia. 2015.

“Glad you like the view, Romanoff. It's about to get better.” Fury said punching buttons on his data pad, “Nice, right? I pulled her out of mothballs with a couple of old friends. She's dusty, but she'll do.” Fury laughed, looking over at the small but capable team of Ex-SHIELD agents, smiling, as the old helicarrier pulled up beside the ever rising city.

You looked out of the window as the battle raged on in the city, you still weren’t sure why Fury had asked you to come with him. After all, you didn’t exactly have a useful skill set for this fight, you couldn’t operate the fancy systems that kept the helicarrier in the air, and despite being enhanced you definitely didn’t have the fighting set to help out the avengers, who were fighting in the city, saving the planet from total destruction once again.

You sighed, turning your back to the window and going to stand next to Fury, who rarely let you out of his sight.

“Sir, I’m grateful you trusted me enough to bring me along but if I could ask, why did you bring me?, My skills aren't exactly useful here.” you said with a frown.

Fury looked down at you grimly, “Just a feeling Mrs. [L/N].”

You nodded, turning your attention to your colleagues, who were diligently aiding in the rescue of the sokovian citizens, and the battle raging on outside. You watched in awe as Tony Stark- or rather Iron Man and War Machine began to destroy the bots that had begun to attack the helicarrier.

Suddenly Agent Hill’s voice rang out “INCOMING!”. You barely had time to jump out of the way as a robot crashed through the front window, Maria immediately emptying her clip into it as Fury finished it off with a piece of metal debris.

“And here I was thinking I wasn’t going to see any action”, you quipped, staring at the mess of metal and oil on the helicarrier floor.

You sighed, trying to even your breathing, absentmindedly running your fingers over the inky black words imprinted on the inside of your wrist. In this world everyone had a soulmate, all 7 billion people, and the first words they’ll say to you appear on the inside of your left wrist when your born, which turns red after you have your first kiss with your soulmate, however you don’t have any expectations to ever meet yours, and you don’t really want too, after all life moves pretty fast when your an Ex-HYDRA experiment and an Ex-SHIELD trainee, and these days you really just wanted to spend the rest of your days unnoticed and unbothered - aside from work of course.

You were broken out of your thoughts when a voice crackled over the comms, “Guys we have a problem!” It was Agent Barton, his voice was panicked and his breathing was ragged, “Pietro’s been hit, I can’t tell if he’s alive or not.”

Fury looked over at you, his face as stoic as ever, but you could see the slight bit of fear in his eyes “Showtime kid, let’s see what you can do.”

You nodded, taking off down the hall and jumping into a small craft, piloting it to the city where you could see Barton leaning over someone’s body. You landed, running over to them, it was one of the twins, a fellow enhanced experiment of HYDRA. You leaned down placing a hand on his bullet riddled chest, a small teal light eminitated from your hand as you closed your eyes and concentrated.

Suddenly your eyes snapped open, you looked up at Clint, “He’s alive,” Clint let out a sigh of relief. “but just barely, I  need to get him back to the medical bay immediately.” You finished. Clint nodded, helping you get the man loaded on the craft you arrived in, he gave you a small nod of thanks before running back to the rescue transports.

Back in your lab you had him hooked up to nearly every medical machine available, while your abilities had managed to stop the blood and heal the internal damage there was still the possibility of him not making it through the night, after all he had yet to regain consciousness and enhanced powers could only do so much, bringing back the dead wasn’t really one of those.

You sighed, leaning over his resting form, brushing a stray piece of his bleach blonde hair out of his face. You studied his face, he was quite possibly one of the most handsome people you’d ever seen, and that was even with the blood and dirt caked on him.

You turned gathering a cloth and a bowl of water, deciding it would be best to at least clean what grime you could off of him. You started with his face before moving to his chest, it was still caked in blood and dirt from where the bullets had ripped through him, though the wounds were closed and healed now. You took note of how well built he was but tried to focus on that as little as possible, after all he was your patient and you hadn’t ever even spoken to him.

As you ran the wet cloth over his body your mind began to wander, however you were broken out of your thoughts when a hand grabbed your arm. It was Pietro. You let out a squeak, mildly startled by his sudden consciousness, however it was clear that he was extremely disoriented and out of it. You moved, setting the washcloth and bowl back on the counter before gathering your clipboard to write that he had regained consciousness.

“Are you an angel?” He asked weakly, you turned looking at him, shocked. Those words, the ever familiar words that had been carried with you since birth, it was him. You inhaled, pushing all that aside, shaking your head as you approached his side.

“Rest.” Was all you said, before you walked out of the room, and for the rest of the night Pietro faded in and out of consciousness, only holding on to the fading sound of your voice.

Avengers Tower. One Month Later.

It had been a month since Sokovia. One month since Pietro Maximoff had almost died. He often found himself wondering what would have happened if he had died, would Wanda have been okay? Would anyone have cared? The other question that seemed to plague his mind day and night, the thought that had burrowed it’s way into his dreams and his absent minded musings, was the thought of seeing that girl that had saved him again.

He didn’t remember much about that day after he was shot, but everytime he closed his eyes he could see her, the girl with the (y/h/c) hair and the soothing voice, he couldn’t remember her fcae or if he had said anything to her but he could remember her touch and he craved to feel it again. The word “rest” also filled his mind, the way it sounded rolling off her tongue, it was the same word that had kept him grounded over the years, and the word that he so often traced on the inside of his wrist. He found himself feeling like the prince from that old animated mermaid movie Wanda made him watch as a kid, looking for the girl that saved him. Looking for his soulmate.

He broke himself out of his thoughts when he heard Maria Hill, one of the many people that had eagerly welcomed him to the Avengers and the remnants of SHIELD calling his name.

“Agent Hill, what can I do for you?” He asked, lifting himself off of the couch, turning to face her.

“Are you doing anything around 1:30 today? I’m supposed to be giving a tour to our newest Avenger today but I have a prior obligation around that time and was wondering if you would mind running it instead, normally I would ask someone else but I feel that you would be the best option in this case due to your…” Maria trailed off trying to come up with the word “Commonalities.”

Pietro’s ears perked up, a new member? Commonalities? Needless to say it was intriguing and would definitely provide a good distraction from his thoughts. “Okay.” He said, shrugging.

Maria smiled, handing him the manilla folder that was your file. “Her name is [Y/N] [L/N], she’s talented, all the necessary information should be in there.” Maria sighed inwardly as she clasped her hands behind her as she watched Pietro speed read through the folder.

To be honest, though she’d never tell Fury, she was hesitant to let you join the Avengers. You were talented no doubt, but she worried about you, maybe it was the fact that she had been the one to rescue you all those years ago, before the fall of SHIELD, before she ever worked for Stark, but still something told her maybe it was too soon, after all you had seemed pretty shaken after the Ultron ordeal.

“Well, you’ll need to meet her at the west elevator on floor 34 in an hour. Just take her through the itinerary there and get to know her, make her feel welcome.” Maria said with a smile before leaving back the way she came.

Pietro smiled as he waved goodbye, before looking down at the picture of you, of his soulmate, the girl that saved him.

Avengers Tower Floor 34. One Hour Later.

You rocked back and forth on your heels. It had been a month since Sokovia. One month since you had saved the man who was supposedly your soulmate. After that fateful day you went back into hiding with Fury, back to training with Fury, but now, according to Fury at least, it was time for you to join the Avengers as their medic.

You walked down the long glass hall, Agent Hill had told you that your guide would meet you outside the west elevator. She had also told you that your tour guide was one of the twins, due to your “commonalities” both in being enhanced and in being the newest members. You hoped it wasn’t going to be him, after all you still hadn’t really had time to process it all. Of course, life never really listened when you asked it for things.

The elevator dinged, signaling it’s arrival, you turned your attention from your wrist to the elevator,pulling down your sleeve to cover it as the doors slid open to reveal the gray clad speedster.

“They told me we were getting a new recruit, but they failed to tell me of your beauty.” Pietro smirked leaning against the elevator wall. You blushed, looking down at your shoes before sliding past him and stepping into the elevator. “Not talking huh? It’s okay I'll get you to crack eventually.” He smiled, winking at you only causing your face to flush even more.

As the tour went on Pietro did what he could to make you talk, though you usually only answered with one or two words. He was confused to say the least, did you not know? It was as the tour came to a close that he finally asked you the question that had been plaguing his mind the whole time, wondering if you would admit to him that you knew or if you were just clueless. “So, [Y/N], they tell me you are enhanced, like us, with healing abilities.” You nodded, “Were you there in Sokovia? Last month I mean, when Ultron attacked.”

You looked up sharply. “Um yeah, yeah I was.” You sighed, fidgeting with your sleeves.

“Then you're the one who saved me that day, thank you.” He smiled, bringing your hands into his, “I’m very happy you’re with us, and I hope that you will allow me to thank you properly? Maybe dinner?” His eyes were hopeful.

Did he know? You wondered, would he bring it up then, ease into it, charm you? Or had he been too out of it to even realise and was simply trying to be nice? Either way it was too much too fast.  “Um, I’ll think about it, I’m just kinda tired right now.”

“I understand, I’ll see you in the morning then beautiful, yes?” He smiled walking you down the hall to your room. You nodded, before looking down at the floor again. “Well if you need anything Wanda and I are both on this floor and if we’re not here we’re likely on the common floor.” He smiled watching you nod once again before retreating into your room.

Pietro sighed, running a hand through his hair, you had to know by now, if he hadn’t spoken to you that day what he said on the elevator should have been the words on your wrist? Why were you so hesitant? Did you not like him, was he not everything you had ever hoped for in a soulmate? He let out a short breath as he pushed the button to call the elevator, fine, he was charming right? He’d do whatever it took to convince you that he was the perfect guy for you, after all you were an angel to him.

A Stark Party at Avenger Tower. Two Months Later.

It had been two months, two months since you had joined the Avengers and you were still just as shy around Pietro as you had been on your first day. He couldn’t understand it, while you were shy around most of the other members too, save for his own sister and Sam Wilson, yet you seemed to purposefully avoid him. He couldn’t help but wonder if he had done something to make you mad or uncomfortable, he couldn’t understand why but it hurt, it hurt more than getting shot in Sokovia had, it was raw and painful but he did his best to hide it and simply be as polite and nice to you as possible.

“Hey there speedy, you seem quieter than normal and I don’t think I’ve heard one smart remark out of you today, what’s going on?” Clint Barton said, placing his hand on Pietro’s shoulder. Despite Clint’s general teasing of the younger man he did genuinely care for him and that was something Pietro was grateful for.

“I’m just lost in thought, thank you though Clint.” Pietro sighed, taking his coffee and heading to his room, after all Stark was having one of his infamous parties tonight and even if he wasn’t there with you Pietro still wanted to look nice for you.

Nearly six hours later everyone was downstairs, the floor alive with people, and Pietro found himself seated at the bar, nursing a whiskey as he watched you converse with his twin. You looked amazing, your gorgeous body clad in a gray knee length cocktail dress with gorgeous lace sleeves and accents. Despite the fact that you rarely spoke to him somehow, some way every little thing you did imprinted itself in his brain and only made himself fall harder and harder for you.

His mood quickly changed however from adoration to jealousy as he watched a group of suit clad men isolate you from his sister and begin to speak to you. Under normal circumstances he would have simply let you be, never wanting to make you uncomfortable or angry, but you were picking at your nails, something he had noticed you only did when you were uncomfortable.

So he did what any love-sick gentlemen would do, and he went to rescue you. Within seconds Pietro was by your side, snaking a hand around your waist, secretly praying to god that he wasn’t making you more uncomfortable.You tensed at the contact but relaxed with a sigh of relief as you looked up to find Pietro.

“Hello my love,” Pietro smiled looking down at you before turning back to the group of men, “Hello gentlemen, I hope you don’t mind if I steal my soulmate for a minute, it’s important Avenger business, you know?” He smirked, giving them no room to respond as he turned and led you to the balcony.

When you arrived on the balcony you sighed as you let the cool air roll over you. “Thank you for that Pietro.” You said softly. “I’m really grateful.”

Pietro smiled softly, “Of course, what are friends for.” He turned heading for the door, but stopped when your voice rang out.

“I’m sorry Pietro.” He turned back to look at you, your eyes trained on the floor, “I’ve been cold and distant and all you’ve done is try and be nice and make me feel happy and safe and welcome here and I’m just so sorry.”

Pietro sighed, running a hand through his hair. “You’ve known this whole time haven’t you. That we were soulmates.”

You looked up meeting his eyes, they were blue and piercing and oh so gorgeous but they were filled with pain.

“Yes, I’ve known since Sokovia. When you first regained consciousness you asked if I was an angel, I couldn’t focus on the fact that we were soulmates in that moment so I pushed it away, after that I just began to wonder, I mean I’m so different compared to you, you're so handsome and kind and talented and I’m just plain and boring, I figured that the universe probably made a mistake, and that you would be better of with someone else, but I never meant to hurt you,” You looked up at him, his face filled with a mix of shock and pain “I’m so so sorry.” You said, your voice breaking as you looked down, tears rolling down your cheeks.

“You are the most oblivious girl I’ve ever met.” Pietro chuckled, your head snapping up to look at him, “For one I’ve been flirting with you since you got here, you’d think that that would be a sign that I find you attractive, No?” You chuckled, “Second, Not talented? You saved my life, I was nearly dead and would be without you. Not kind? You have made my sister feel so happy and so welcome, you’ve given her the best friend she’s always wanted. Not pretty? My Angel, you are the most beautiful girl at this party. I’ve loved you from the minute I saw you, your smile can light up a room, and your laughter can make any sadness fade away, you my darling are perfect.” He smiled softly at you, cupping your cheek as you stared up into his eyes. “I love you moy angel”  

You stared up in awe at the silver haired speedster, “I- You’re so perfect, you have been so understanding and-” Your voice broke as more tears rushed down your face, Pietro simply whispered sweet nothings as he wiped away your tears. “I love you too.” You whispered smiling softly.

“Could I kiss you?” Pietro asked with an airy chuckle, you smiled,nodding before pressing your lips to his, letting the world around you melt away, as both of you reveled in the warm feeling of your marks changing from black to red.

#pietro maximoff x reader #pietro maximoff #pietro maximoff imagine #peter maximoff x reader #pietro maximoff x you #oneshot #marvel x reader #pietro deserved better #I haven't written in a while and this sucks and I'm sorry :') #pietro maximoff x fem!reader #pietro maximoff x y/n #quicksilver x you #quicksilver x reader #xmen #avengers #avengers age of ultron

[isaac-lahey-imagines]

Imagine #70 | Request #31 (Part 3/3 of Isaac Lahey x Alpha!Reader)

Catch up here: Part 1, Part 2 (might need to rewrite these two though)

Can I just say that you guys who stuck with this blog (and the Wattpad imagines) are the best? And to think I haven't posted in years and we've hit 6k+ followers when I came back?! I don't even know how you people are still here and loving the pieces I put out when I'm here cringing over the old works back in 2015!

Warnings: The usual when it comes to the Teen Wolf series, specifically the Dread Doctors' season, mentions of blood, bones breaking, drugs, needles, a few curse words, idk if this is angst? whump?

Word Count: 6k+ (it's probably the longest I've written omg)

Not much of a flashback or backstory (I'm out of words, I can't squeeze anymore juices out of my brain, my bad). As usual, this is note beta-ed and sorry for any mistakes! English isn't my first language :(

~

“No more, please,” weak cries fell on deaf ears as you were dragged down from one hall to another, the smell of disinfectant and rust overpowering your already sensitive nose and magnifying the headache that was present from when you took a beating earlier.

The sound of bare flesh skidding on the polished floor bounced off the walls as you tried to pull away and run from your captors, you did not care of the stinging sensation that radiated from the pads of your feet - the open wounds left untreated by the people who kept you in hopes that whatever was inside of you can take care of it on its own.

You were repulsed at the thought of them still being considered as people after what they have put you through - they were monsters.

“Just a little more, my dear.” One of the figures that held your arm sneered, the grip on your bicep tightening making you clench your jaw. You internally scoffed at this knowing well that it won’t be ‘just a little more’ with how long and how frequent it happened and will happen.

“She should be able to go through another round.” A voice, deeper than the feminine one from earlier, spoke up as you entered through the heavy double doors of a room - an operating theater you guessed from the setup. “Prep her.”

“Her vitals are stronger now.” The third person declared, their fingers flipping through the pages of the clipboard in their hands before glancing towards the monitor to one side of the room - an image of your anatomy on display with different colors corresponding to each system in your body.

“The less you struggle the faster this will be.” One of the doctors, the Geneticist, who dragged you to this hell hole hummed as she was met with resistance on your end while she strapped you down on the cold metal table, the leather rubbing your already raw skin.

Her patience with you was at a limit, she was close to just ending it - ending you. But they have already achieved so much with their craft that it would be such a waste of time and resource to start from square one.

“Remember,” The Pathologist warned as he walked closer to you once you were settled down. “The louder you scream, the more blood we take from you.”

The tears that fell from your eyes to the sides of your face tickled your ears at the threat, small whimpers coming from you were ignored.

“Might I remind you that the btch wakes up?” The Geneticist interrupted, irritation in her voice as she steadied your shaking right hand before inserting an IV cannula in a vein at the back of your hand and taping it in place. Looking up to her left, she reached for the device below one of the two bags that hung on the pole and unclamped its tube letting the mix of anxiolytic, hypnotic, and anticonvulsant start to flow down to you. She then turned her attention to the other bag beside it, a mix of amnestic, and myorelaxant drugs, and did the same - a near-perfect cocktail mix they specifically designed for you.

She reminded the other doctors that no matter how much benzos, relaxants, or other drug concoctions they pump in your veins, you will wake up in between operations screaming your head off while attempting to break free of the hold you are currently in. “No matter how much sedatives we put in her, her wolf is too strong-”

“It’s an animal-” The Surgeon spoke up.

“She’s an alpha, a pure one-” She argued again, almost growling at the hard-headedness of her co-doctors before she was cut off by the same person.

“An animal.” He spoke in finality. “We are humans - gods even! We are at the very top of the damned food chain.”

The room suddenly fell silent, your whimpers, the beeping of a monitor, and the hum of the machines somewhere in the room were the only things that could be heard as you started to feel the effects of the fluids injected into you.

The tension you felt from earlier began to leave your body just as your vision started getting cloudy, your eyelids feeling heavier by the minute. You didn’t notice the Pathologist holding up a syringe to the light, flicking the bubbles away with his middle finger and thumb a few times before the taste of rubber invaded your mouth with such force that hurt your lips, gums, and teeth.

The Surgeon that was above you, blocking the light for a few moments, had shoved the mouth guard in before he continued securing your head in the metal gear positioned above you. Your neck followed suit with a hard metal clamp attached to the table effectively locking you in place and soon, your whole body was completely immobilized with a loud click from the double lock clamps.

The tears continued to flow down the sides of your face as you fought the sleepiness, praying for this to just end. The dread of what is to come overwhelming you and making your body shake as much as the drugs and table’s hold on you would allow.

“I’m surprised the smart one hasn’t figured it out yet.” They exchanged small talk over your muffled screams as soon as you felt the sharp sting of a needle puncturing your skin and into your cervical spine; expelling whatever it was they created into your system for the nth time. Your ears hurt from the ringing in your head while your throat burned as the pain from the syringe radiated all over your body.

“I’m surprised her mate hasn’t.” The Geneticist replied with emphasis.

“My friends, let us not be complacent.” Their leader ended their conversation as he now concentrated on looking at the x-ray on the monitor showing the movement of the serum as it spread in you.

“We continue our routine - clean her up, wipe her to an extent and then return her. ” He added as he pushed more of the liquid in you with a press of a button by your head.

“Marcel, they will know, soon enough.” She pointed out. “She will start to have withdrawals if-”

“We won’t let that happen.”

~

Sneakers skidding on the floor as everyone seemed to scramble out of the way towards the door, eyes wide with fear looking at the figure in front of them.

“Y/N?”

“Alpha?”

Isaac watched as the massive wolf in front of them let out a deep growl with its teeth bared at the people that called her attention, the fur on her back and chest standing up making her look even bigger than she already is.

“Y/N,” Isaac knew that Deaton was the best person to handle all kinds of supernatural cases, hence, the title of Emissary to their pack. “It’s Deaton.”

Letting out another growl as you licked your lips, your tail flicked lowly behind you as your eyes darted to each person present in the room before landing back to one in particular who was too close for comfort.

“Y/N, hey,” His voice sounded softer, it almost made you feel a sense of comfort until his hand reached out to you and made you snap back and almost bite it off.

This instinctively made Scott pull Isaac back by his shirt to a safe distance, struggling a bit in his grasp as the beta did not want to be moved further away from you despite the situation.

“Isaac, move back,” Deaton warned when he noticed that the curly-haired werewolf was not backing down, a hand gesturing for him to move away from you. “She’s scared.”

“No, Deaton, she heard me. She’s there - Y/N,” Isaac argued before turning his attention back to you again, blue eyes already glassy as tears filled the rim of his eyes. “She heard me.”

Isaac tried to hold on to the hope that you were present underneath the wolf because he was sure he saw that familiar glimmer that was distinctly you.

Just as he attempted to reach out to you again with a whisper of your name on his lips, the same frequency you heard before rang in your ears making you seize up and drop to the ground.

“Agh! What is that?” Liam winced as his hands reached up to his head to cover his ears, eyes scrunching shut as he tried to will away the incessant ringing.

“What’s what?” Mason asked with confusion etched on his face as he looked at his friend then to Stiles and the others, the werewolves in the room in particular, doing the same.

Isaac did not care for the ringing he heard, witnessing you looking like you were being kicked or beaten as you struggled to stand up, the sound of pained screams, whines, and whimpers coming out of you pulled at his heart making him drop to his knees beside you.

His hands hovered over your form trying to figure out what to do while he avoided getting scratched by the large clawed paws that writhed with your body, Scott and Thor doing the same and looking over you trying to see where exactly were you hurting.

“Deaton,” Isaac called as he carefully placed his hand on your shoulder before hissing - you were burning up and the black color that coursed through his veins upon touching you wreaked of disease. “Deaton what do we do?!”

“What is that?” Thor asked in bewilderment as he saw what was happening with Isaac’s arms.

“Hold her still as much as you can,” The vet’s voice was calm despite the mess, going to one of the counters in the room and asking Stiles and Mason for assistance as he tried to collect what sounded like glass vials from the way it clinked in their hold.

Isaac heard Thor mutter an apology to his alpha as he tried to hold your hind legs down as much as he can, Scott doing the same by your torso and Isaac by your neck.

“Y/N,” Isaac continued to call for you as he tried to hold your front legs down. “It’s Isaac, baby - it’s me.”

“Hurry!” Scott called to Deaton as his eyes scrunched and a sheen of sweat already present on their foreheads, the ringing still present in their ears making it difficult for them to concentrate.

Just as Deaton returned and knelt by your side, carrying a stainless steel tray that contained what looked like multiple large syringes in it, the static ringing noise started to get louder making the supernatural beings in the room let out a pained groan and lose their grip on you.

It grew too much too quickly to bear, causing the lights and windows above your heads to shatter and engulf the room in darkness. As everyone ducked for cover, Isaac stayed by your side and tried to shield you from the onslaught of sharp glass descending on you.

It took a few moments before the ringing stopped and the feel of cold air entered the room, snapping them back to their senses as their eyes opened at the smell of blood it carried with it.

Isaac immediately sat up as he felt the cold tiled floor and not your warm body underneath him.

“Y/N,” was all he said before he sprinted out of the room, the others following behind him.

“How did she get out?” He heard Stiles behind him once they reached the outside of the clinic, Thor already looking around the perimeter of the establishment for any signs of you.

Isaac’s brain was running a hundred miles at what he saw and what had just happened inside, his lips quivering as he ran his hands through his hair and pulling at the roots in frustration. He sniffled as he tried to stop the tears from running down his cheeks with the heels of his hands. Exhaling, he closed his eyes and tried to even out his breathing before turning to Scott.

“She’s not gone,” his alpha spoke, already reassuring him. “We’re going to find her.”

Just before Isaac could reply and shoot down the optimism his alpha had, a car screeched to a halt in front of them.

“Where is she?!” Lydia asked as she got out of the driver’s side, a frantic look in her bloodshot eyes.

“Hey, hey, what happened?” Stiles was immediately by her side, cupping her face in his hands. But Lydia only moved out of the way and turned to Isaac and asked again.

“We don’t know where she is. She disappeared right before Deaton -” Lydia was close to tears again as she groaned in frustration.

“They can’t get her back.” She said, sounding more of a beg as her voice shook a little.

Everyone in front of her stopped what they were doing and looked at the Banshee.

“Who’s they? And where do you think Y/N is?” Stiles asked before a few seconds later, realization hit him.

~

It was on the way to Eichen House that Lydia explained everything she saw that made her break all the traffic laws implemented in Beacon Hills just to rush to the vet clinic. Isaac could not shake the feeling that Lydia, a banshee – a herald of death, had visions of you in his arms already in eternal slumber. His wolf broke more than a little as she spoke more of what she saw, only a few words registering to him – Y/N, doctors, experiment, and torture.

Everything was a flash for Isaac now, he did not even realize that they were now in a tunnel under the mental facility planning on who was going where.

But once their strategy was laid out, Isaac wasted no time in trying to locate even the faintest of your scent in the damp and moldy tunnel he was walking through. He heard Stiles and Lydia speaking on the phone in his pocket that they'd found an office that had files strewn everywhere – files that specifically contained information about you and what they have done with you so far.

“Any luck finding her?” Lydia asked as Isaac heard papers being flipped on the other end of the line.

“Nope, not yet,” Liam replied.

“No, she’s not here.” Thor was next then Scott, all claiming to find only empty rooms and dungeons.

“Isaac?” Lydia asked after not hearing from him.

“None,” he answered, sounding defeated as he rounded another corner with you nowhere in sight.

Isaac could hear collective sighs as they continued their searches, his ears already drowning out what Lydia and Stiles were doing - occasionally spitting out questions of why’s as they continued to browse through what they found in the files.

His breathing became labored as his mind started to play tricks on him the further we walked down the tunnel, the source of light slowly fading the deeper he went.

Just as he was about to turn another corner, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He felt as though soft fingertips touched him, making his skin crawl as he turned around quickly only to find an empty space. But as he directed his attention to the other corner of the room, the colors on his face drained.

Amidst the mess of metal chains and torn blankets, Isaac watched closely as the figure on the floor took a raspy breath, eyes moving behind closed lids, lips mumbling incoherent words.

“Y/N?” Isaac slowly approached, the other members of the pack on the other line calling for his attention and asking if they heard him call your name.

At the sound of your name being called, your body went rigid. Your eyes flew open, widening as you saw a shadowy figure in front of you moving closer.

“Please, no more.” Your voice cracked from the overuse as you begged, the sound of heavy metal clinking together echoed in the empty room as you backed away slowly. “I’m sorry! I won’t do it again, please!”

Your frame quivered as you continued to plead, sweat mixed with blood trickled down your body as you attempted to make yourself smaller against the corner of the cell; failing from the sudden pain on the back of your neck that restricted you to move any further away from where you were.

“Y/N, it’s Isaac. I’m not going to hurt you.” Isaac ignored the voices over the phone calling for him, asking if he really found you. “You’re safe now, they’re not going to hurt you.”

Isaac almost expected for you to cower further away from him, but you didn’t – instead, you relaxed a little as his hand landed on the small of your back and the other on your shoulder effectively pulling you into an embrace.

As Isaac felt you release a breath before melting against his chest, his scent effectively calmed you down as your wolf recognized her other half. You both stayed like that for a while before he went back to examining you and what was behind you, more so what was attached to you.

Now, more diligent in his movements, his hands hovered over what seemed to be a tube attached to the back of your neck. He shifted in his kneeling position, careful not to jostle you, before taking his phone from his pocket.

“Something’s attached to her, I need to get it off-.” He informed more to Stiles and Lydia than to others present on the call.

“Don’t!” Lydia exclaimed, panicked at what Isaac was planning. “Not yet.”

“But she’s already hurting!” Isaac’s hands returned to your shoulder and back, holding you closer - as close as the tube permitted.

“That’s connected to her spine, Isaac,” Stiles added, warning him of what might happen. “If you remove it you might do some serious damage here.”

His attention turned back to you when he heard you whimper his name.

You were testing to see if Isaac was really there with you or if you were merely hallucinating again, not sure anymore of what was real after everything that happened to you for the past few years.

“Isaac?”

“Hi,” he smiled down when he pulled away from you a little, his voice shaking as he cupped your face in his hands. “I’m here.”

Your eyes focused on his face, blinking a few times before-

“No.”

That, he did not expect.

“No, no, no.” You mumbled repeatedly making Isaac more confused- were you not happy or relieved to see him with you?

“You shouldn’t be here.” As you came to your senses, you moved out of his grasp and pushed him away at the same time with the little strength you have left.

“Y/N, we came here for you. What are you talking about?” Isaac was hurt, you can see it in his face the way his brows furrowed and eyes already releasing a few tears down his cheeks.

Before you could answer back, the same ringing sounded again.

“Isaac, you have to go, please.” You cried, your own tears flowing down your cheek as you tried to pry his hands that held on to your wrists away, wanting to get out of his hold on you all the while fighting the heavy ache in your body to turn against your own will.

“Isaac, you have to get out of there!” You can hear Stiles over the phone, can hear Scott and the others running to where your werewolf was located.

“I’m not leaving her,” Isaac growled at them but his eyes stayed on you.

“You have to, plea-”

“Y/N!”

A blood-curdling scream left your lips as your body started to tremble on the floor, your bones were visibly breaking and morphing under your skin against your will yet again. The jagged edges of the broken bones breaking through skin and the movement causing purple and blue patches to decorate your flesh, all the while the liquid inside the tube that was still attached to you bubbled angrily.

“Isaac!”

Turning to the person who called his name, he suddenly felt himself being tugged down to the floor as the sound of electricity zipping past them blasted onto the steel bars of a small window on the wall overcame your pained screams.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” the static voice called.

“It’s the Dread Doctors.” Stiles’ voice over the phone can be heard, more papers can be heard being flipped and thrown somewhere. “They’re the ones doing this to Y/N.”

“I need to get it off of her!” Isaac spoke to the phone as he watched Thor lunge at one of the doctors in front of them, his clawed hand not holding back any hits he let out. Scott was next when another appeared much closer to where you and Isaac were.

Once your cries quieted down and your body settled down to small shakes - appeased from the onslaught of transforming against your will, Isaac’s hands hovered over the tube.

“You have to go before they hurt you.” It was barely a whisper when the words came out of your mouth, your body was getting too tired to fight it anymore.

“No, I’m not leaving without you, you know that.” Isaac spoke it with a voice that left no room for arguments as he held the tube in his hand and attempted to pull.

Isaac held back a sob as the screams you let out shattered through the noise of the grunts and punches being thrown. But before he could successfully pull it out, a force had hit him and sent him across the room hitting a wall with a loud thud.

“Near-perfect.” Another doctor, the same one who threw Isaac off of you, had appeared next to you with a device in his hand that, from the looks of it, controlled the tube that was pumping the liquid into you.

“Stop, please!” Your hands flew to the contraption attached to you just as Isaac charged at the doctor, sending them both to the ground.

Blinking away the heaviness of your eyelids, you tried to move from your position on the floor only to fall back down flat on your stomach. The wolf in you whined in panic, barking almost as she nudged you with her head to stand up - that you still had strength in you and she was there to anchor you herself.

“Give her back to me,” You can hear Isaac from across the room, the sight of him swiftly landing blow after blow at the doctor caught you off guard. The blood that ran down his temple to his eyes only added a level of intensity to his yellow glowing gaze as he gave a growl that had an unnerving timbre to it. “Now.”

On the other end of the room, you watch Scott claw at the doctor he was against before the mask fell off and revealed a face that was mottled, wrinkled, and scarred. If the true alpha was disgusted, he did not show it as he put his arms up to block the hit the doctor threw his way.

At the sound of a device dropping to the cemented floor, you felt the vibration of the tube behind you stop - the bubbles silencing as it halted its actions. This immediately cleared your head and relieved you of the pain, the fuzzy veil finally lifting as you took another deep breath and attempted to sit upright again.

Successfully sitting up with a few labored breaths accompanied by a wince, you lifted your aching arms and took hold of the tube attached behind you - the stinging feel of the needle made itself known as the small movement you made just from holding it jostled a little.

Taking a couple of ragged breaths again, trying to gather the courage and strength to pull the thing behind you when the air was suddenly knocked out of your lungs. The sensation of a sharp jab radiated from your side, the groan you let out echoed to the other end of the room making your eyes dart to where Isaac was.

“No,” you let out a gasp at the sight of your mate wide-eyed as he stared up at the doctor in front of him - the pain you felt on your side mirroring where the Surgeon’s swordcane embedded on Isaac’s side and giving it a twist for good measure. “Isaac!”

Your wolf’s painful yips turned to a low dangerous growl.

Feeling the familiar throb in your gums as your canines grew longer, you heard a banshee’s piercing scream all the way from the other wing of the Eichen house while a true alpha’s growl filled the place you were in.

“No more,” You say through clenched teeth, Thor’s knees buckling at the command in his alpha’s voice, Scott and the doctors they were up against stood in awe at the willpower you displayed.

“Perfect,” one of them said under their breath, the final push for perfection.

Finally standing tall, the tube attached to your neck earlier now clutched in your hand, you did not waste time as you took down each person who did you wrong.

Going for the closest antagonist in your life, Thor immediately scrambled out of your way as your claws wrapped around the Geneticists neck. You let your body move past her without letting go of your grip on her before using the momentum to lift the doctor up, the weight and force effectively disconnecting her head from the rest of her body before hurdling her to the Pathologist who was clambering away from Scott and the fight.

Everything was a blur to the other occupants of the room as you zipped past them and took down each one before you finally lunged at the Surgeon who finally released his grip on both his cane and on Isaac.

“My child-” he managed to say as your grip on his neck tightened, his feet barely touching the ground - your eyes glowing a dangerous color as you stared up at him.

You can finally see through the mask, raw pink flesh with stitches decorating it was what the steel mask protected. His mouth opened to say something but only a gurgled gasp came out as your other hand embedded itself in his chest and pierced through skin and muscle. You felt your wolf puffing up with pride and anger - you were their greatest creation and downfall.

Silence enveloped the room as the lead doctor took his last breath before you haphazardly threw him to the ground.

With his nose scrunched and eyebrows furrowed, Isaac pulled the swordcane out of him. His jaw clenching before he let out a pained groan at the feel of the weapon sliding out before leaning heavily against the brick wall while clutching his side.

Your attention was immediately drawn to your other half, managing to wipe off some of the blood on your hand before tending to him.

“Hey,” Isaac greeted as he tried to not lean all his weight to you as you wrapped your arms around his waist, careful not to touch the stab wound on his side. You felt tears playing at the edge of your lashes as you buried your face against his chest, the scent signifying home.

“Can’t really ask you if you’re okay,” You managed to say once you pulled away and looked up at him.

“You’re one to talk,” Isaac replied with a chuckle, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

You smiled, wiping the stray tear that ran down your cheek with the back of your hand as Isaac’s lips returned to your forehead for another kiss.

“Y/N, look-”

“No!”

A loud bang and the pain that came with it suddenly broke the bubble of peace you were in.

Clutching you to his chest, you saw the same confused expression that reflected on Isaac’s eyes before they darted from you to where the smell of gunpowder was coming from.

The Pathologist’s hand shook as he held the gun up, a crazed look in his eyes as he attempted to stand up from being buried under his colleague's lifeless body. He muttered incoherent words as he aimed the gun at you again.

But before he can pull the trigger, another loud thud took you all by surprise as you witnessed the man fall down flat on his face.

“Damn.” Lydia was behind him with a bloodied metal bat clutched in her hands - Stiles’ hands were up in the air, his eyes were wide as if he couldn’t believe his girl just did that.

“Well mark me down as scared and horny,” Stiles muttered under his breath, his brain replaying the moment Lydia all but took off with his metal bat and ran down the hall as fast as her heels allowed her to where they were now.

~

“Thank you, Thor.” You hugged the larger-built werewolf, his arms wrapping around you tightly but still being mindful of your current state. “But I don’t think I’m fit to be your alpha - to be the pack’s alpha anymore.”

“I will never understand how you and the others accepted me after what had happened.” Your feet dangled as you sat on a bricked fence outside of the Eichen house, the jacket from Isaac wrapped around you securely to act as a buffer against the coolness of the night.

You can hear Thor’s wolf whine at your words, his face already reflecting the sadness you both felt at what you were doing as he leaned against the fence you were sitting on.

“Alpha, please don’t discredit yourself.”

You looked up at him, not really believing his words with how much damage you’ve done to the pack - to your family.

“You are more than worthy - especially at your age.” He added, pointing out that most of the alphas out there were a hundred years older than you. “You are strong.”

“Thank you, again - for everything,” your lips quivered as you gave your best smile before glancing up to try and prevent the tears from spilling down your cheeks. The thought of leaving your pack broke your heart, they were family. But you needed to have someone better to lead and handle pack-related things -- you needed to recover.

A comfortable silence settled around the two of you before you heard Stiles and Isaac walking towards you.

“Jeep’s good to go, big guy.” Stiles said - more to Thor than you - with a tilt of his head to gesture to where they were parked as Isaac helped you to your feet and walked you towards Lydia’s car.

“You okay?” Isaac asked softly as you both settled in the back seat.

His eyes double-checked the graze on your shoulder from the bullet that hit you, his arms never leaving your side as he let you lean on him - exhaustion already catching up to you with the way your body sagged against his.

No, not really. You wanted to say as he only tugged you closer to him, the drive to Deaton being quieter save for the soft tunes the radio played.

“I will be.”

~~~

Isaac didn’t know what exactly woke him up.

Staring back at the ceiling, his ears strained to hear bed sheets rustling beside him. With the little light that passed through the curtains of the room you shared, he ran his hands down his face before turning to his bedside.

His eyes squinted when his phone awoke and flashed the time, 3:01AM it read - the phone’s screen showed a picture of the two of you together during a weekend picnic Lydia had arranged a few weeks ago. You had your eyes closed and lips smiling - a genuine smile after so long - against his neck as he had his arms wrapped around you tightly while he made a face to the camera.

Isaac stared at his phone’s lock screen a few moments longer before movement on his side and the feel of cold skin touching his leg took him out of his reverie.

Putting his phone back on the nightstand, he curled back down the covers and turned to face you. For someone who’s a warm-blooded supernatural creature themself, you sure have cold feet.

Isaac cupped your face before tucking a stray hair behind your ear, you were lying on your stomach facing him with your hands tucked just a little under your pillow. You were still in deep sleep but it did not look as peaceful as he remembered - your brows were furrowed, your lips moved as if mumbling something and an occasional hand twitch was what he observed.

“Y/N?” Isaac asked, his voice croaked from the lack of use as he leaned on his elbow and tried to coax you awake.

It didn’t take too long before Isaac finally understood what you were saying.

Please, no more...p-please.

Leaning over your side of the bed, Isaac flicked the switch to your bedside lamp open and tried to call for you again. He could now see the thin layer of sweat on your forehead, the sheets bunching up in your grasp as your knuckles turned a lighter shade from how tight your grip was.

I can’t t-take it anymore...

“Hey, baby,” Isaac gently ran his hand down your back a few times, trying not to ‘jolt’ you awake. He knew what methods to use in waking you up when things like these happen, though it took multiple trials and errors with a few bumps - more or less scratches - in the way. But god, he’d take you screaming and lashing out at him any day than this.

I’m sorry, I won’t do it again...

“Y/N, please wake up for me.”

It broke his heart more at the thought that while you were already together, even if in that span of time you were simply friends at first, they’ve already done a multitude of things to you.

“Y/N, I’m here - you’re safe.” He tried again, the soft kiss to your temple lingering a little longer in hopes that it might help - let you sense that he was present and you were not in danger anymore.

“Y/N, no one’s gonna hurt you,” He spoke softly.

Covering your clenched hand with his, it was all it took before your eyes flew open with a sharp gasp of air. It took some strength and swiftness from Isaac to hold your wrists when you sat up so fast - almost bumping his chin in the process - that you almost fell out of the shared bed.

“Hey, hey,” He called for you, your eyes were dilated, blown wide and looking around frantically as if you were searching for the threat that plagued your life a year ago and giving you these night terrors that prevented you from having a good night’s sleep.

“I’m here, you’re safe.” He repeated, waiting for you and not letting go.

“Isaac,” He waited a little more before you finally settled down and realized where you were, your voice shook a little as you spoke his name; eyes glassy as you looked at the familiar blue eyes that called for you.

“I’m here.” Isaac gave a small smile as his hold on your wrist loosened before sliding his hands in yours and holding onto them on your lap - the soft yellow light from your bedside lamp gave his face a soft glow; his eyes looking more kinder that it already was.

Not again. Your lips trembled as you held back a sob, you shook your head as you stared down at your joined hands.

You felt trapped.

That was the only thing you felt and you wanted out, you wanted this to stop; you want an end to this thing happening to you - you don’t deserve the man in front of you.

Having known you for so long, Isaac can already see it on your face, he already anticipated it.

“I love you,” He spoke.

Absolutely no room for arguments, “I won’t leave you.”

You felt Isaac’s hands rest on your hips as you withdrew yours from his hold and tried to stop and wipe as many tears as you could with the heel of your hands. He let you lean your head on his shoulder, the feel of his lips placing a comforting kiss to your ear should’ve given your heart a little leap but it didn’t.

“How much longer will you tell me that before you finally get tired?” You did not mean to say it out loud, you hiccupped once your tears finally settled down with your head and heart.

“Never,” Isaac said as he pushed you away a little to look at you, cupping your face in his warm hands to make you look up at him, a glint of playfulness present. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

You could only sigh and give a soft smile.

“You’re too good for me, Isaac.”

Bringing your hands to his lips to kiss your knuckles, he let them go before cupping your face again and leaned down to plant a kiss on your forehead, then your nose and lastly a chaste kiss on your lips.

“You deserve good things, Y/N.”

You deserve them after everything you went through. Isaac gave that smile he reserved only for you when he pulled away.

Lying back down, Isaac pulled you closer to him before pulling the covers up just below your chin.

“We’ll be okay, remember?” Isaac reminded you of the words you said to him when he asked you a year ago.

You did not miss the way he said ‘we.’ You did remember what he told you, that you were in this together - you’re it for me.

“I remember,” you answered, curling as close as you can to his side. The tip of your nose resting against the warm skin of his neck as he rest his chin on top of your head, arms tightening around you before they relaxed.

~

Feedbacks are always appreciated! Especially since I miss writing. But again, I won't be doing much writing anymore since I've somewhat lost touch with both my imagines blogs. I might just rewrite/refurbish some of my old imagines/drabbles.

Again, thank you so much for those who stuck by this imagines blog (and for Brett as well). You don't know how much I appreciate it, again, I'm sorry for not being active (read more here)

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