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burnyouwithacigarettelighter · 9 months

Text

GUINEA PIG ───

jonathan crane ✧𖦹

ೃ⁀➷ “I think we most fully understood each other when once I tried to kill him with a kitchen knife.” — ‘South and West’, Joan Didion

pairing. switch!jonathan crane x professor!reader

summary. you and your dear friend, jonathan crane, have an odd relationship: he experiments on you, you experiment on him. one day, you experiment your aphrodisiac on him.

warnings. swearing, use of aphrodisiac & fear toxin, oral sex (m), unprotected sex, creampie, p in v, mention of death, murder, drugs, multiple orgasms, slight breeding kink, face fucking, dubcon(?) SMUT UNDER THE CUT!

word count. 6.1k

a/n. the enemies to friends to fucking pipeline is sooo real and i love it. BTW! this is really self indulgent and again, i’m a beginner to writing smut so pls don’t judge😭 the beginning is also oddly plotty, so i apologize for that.

You and your colleague, Jonathan Crane, have a harmonious, albeit slightly sick and twisted, relationship.

Your repertoires, opposite in every way, complete one another like you were made to match. You are messy, frenzied, intimate; he is neat, calculated, distant. He is impatient, histrionic, stubborn. You are tolerant, deadpan, submissive.

This is an odd, good-cop bad-cop dynamic you’ve built, but it works. Your traits uphold the order you’ve built around yourselves; you allow each other to function.

Who ever said something so codependent, so parasitic, would fall apart? That it was dangerous, destructive? Everyone, but in your case, it has been anything but.

These are the simple rules of your relationship: he experiments on you, you experiment on him. This partnership came to bloom when, after years of competing to be the “better” psychology professor at Gotham University, he sent you a gift that sprayed with you with fear toxin, and you baked him a cake that knocked him out for 24 hours following, heart rate so low he could’ve been mistaken as dead.

“Fucking - hell,” You murmured under your breath, stumbling halfway across Gotham City to locate Crane’s absurdly lavish condo in the Diamond District, barely able to keep yourself upright.

You were being visually assaulted by dozens of images, all your phobias no matter big or small, dancing across your senses. Spiders crawled all over your body, you saw yourself about to step off a steep, snowy cliff, you felt yourself suffocate as you were buried to death in a casket. It was utter torture, and you would have to endure it until you found Crane.

You must’ve looked like one of those tweaking drug addicts from down in the Narrows, shivering, sweating, and rubbing all over your body to remove some of the “spiders” taking over your body. The terror was settling into you, into your spine like a terribly malignant disease.

At last, you found the apartment building, blearily snuck in behind a drunk couple, and scanned the mail boxes until you found J. CRANE: 525.

You headed up the elevator, grasping at the walls for dear life, feeling that growing, unmistakable sense of dread start to take over your mind. You felt like you were going mad, now, not just afflicted with something that made you look like it.

When you finally got to his door, it was left open a crack, and you welcomed the small mercy of Crane’s overarching narcissism: he didn’t lock his door, often, because most days he felt more invincible than fucking god.

“Crane!” You shouted, clutching at your head and staggering into his large apartment. “Crane!” you repeated, this time more desperate, more fearful than anything.

However, your deepest fear, at the moment, had come true. You stepped into his kitchen, and found the man laying on the floor unresponsive.

“Fuck me,” you cursed. You’d sent the man home with the cake twelve hours ago, when he took the half-day off from GSU, and you came home from your after-class tutoring hours just moments ago.

You’d opened the mystery package on your front porch promptly, and you found yourself having been gassed with a compound that made you see every little thing you were afraid of. Immediately, you’d known it was Crane; the man’s pet specialty was fear.

As for you, you wanted your… gift, to serve a reminder to him that he should not overstep your boundaries, your territory, as the psychology professor who was there first. If knocking him out was a little bit mad, he was bordering insanity for the toxin he poisoned you with.

Even so, your threat was an empty one. You weren’t counting on the man to even eat the cake - hell, you’d never seen the man consume anything but straight black coffee.

You couldn’t judge a book by its cover, you know now, and laid there on the couch of his apartment, waiting for the twelve hours to be over. Waiting for Crane, the fucking madman, to wake the hell up, blaming him for the predicament despite your very obvious involvement in it.

You breathed in and out, harried and rapid fire as you tried to focus, tried to block out the horrific things you were seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting.

(Your eyes are swarmed, viscerally, by a grotesque hallucination of your family burning to death; you hear them cry out, voices interrupted when they’re fire gets to their lungs; you smell their death, the smell of flesh burning, how the smoke chokes you — you taste their blood on your tongue, how tender a raging fire makes charred flesh.

Tender, you think on your choice of words again, and almost throw up.

What have you done, you think, and what is going through that fucked up head of yours, Crane?)

You tried to ground yourself, tether your lost mind back to Earth. You’re sitting in a field in Northwestern Ireland, you said to yourself, inhaling. Up ahead is the beach; water is crashing on the rocks. You exhaled, the wind tastes like salt, and it is just you and I, here together. It is only I and you, here, together.

Like so, 12 hours passed. Not so much passed — that word gave the connotation the hours slipped past you, the way a peaceful stream of water does; no, more accurately, it dragged by, like when an arm slips out of the ambulance cot on its way to the emergency vehicle, and drags on the concrete. The EMT’s don’t notice what’s making their trip so hard, so slow, until the hand is rubbed raw and bloody.

You repeated that mantra so many times you were starting to get queasy when you thought the words “you’re sitting in a field..” but nonetheless, the string of words kept you sane.

Sane enough, at least - you weren’t sure you’d be the same blissful person you were yesterday. Sure, you were always a little bit… unorthodox? Petty? Competitive enough to bake so many drugs into a cake your opposing professor knocks out?

But, with this — this being drugged by Crane — made you feel a piece of yourself break away. There would be no more of your life lived without knowing how fearful, well, fear, is. It's like discovering the Boogeyman and never being able to stop checking under your bed; the paranoia moves into your head and never leaves.

Crane began stirring, and your eyes opened as soon as you heard the noise. Surprisingly enough, however, you were no longer being hammered with the hallucinations that had been distressing you just half a day ago.

Had it been the mantra? The near-prayer you now swore was etched on your heart?

“Fucking…” Crane said, getting up off the floor. He was clutching his head, eyes squinted, body hunched and tense. Looks like spending half a day on the floor wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, but you didn’t give a fuck — atleast he was sleeping. If you had to be mentally destroyed by his toxin, you’d best believe you were taking the couch.

“Why - why are you here? What the hell did you do to me?” He said after noticing you, voice raspy. He hadn’t had anything to drink or eat in a while, after all.

“I could say the fucking same for you,” You muttered, giving him a pointed look. “You - what the fuck did you spray me with?”

Immediately, a twisted grin was bared on Crane’s lips, despite his fatigued demeanor. “Did you like it? My fear-toxin,” he preened, like the winning kid at a school science fair.

You rolled your eyes, and before you could control your tendencies, you’d swung back and then socked him straight in the face.

Crane double-backed, looking terribly affronted, as if he hadn’t sent you the gas knowing how it would affect you. “Ow,” is all he said, face contorting oddly around the pain.

“Yeah, “ow”. Fuck you, Crane.”

Crane raised a brow. “You’re acting like you didn’t feed me a poisoned cake!” He said incredulously.

“It wasn’t that poisoned,” you bit out, teeth gritted. “Not so poisoned I was hallucinating my family dying for twelve hours straight.”

“Ah, thanatophobia, not really one of my favourites—“ Crane started, like he was losing himself in a romantic daydream, before snapping back to reality. “Did you just say twelve hours?”

“Twelve hours for me. Twenty-four for you.” You said, reveling in how panicked he looked.

“I — that’s long enough for me to be killed a hundred times over,” he mumbled under his breath. “What the fuck did you put in that cake?”

“I never expected you to eat it, Crane. You’re fucking skin and bones, I thought you’d just throw it out.”

“What did you put in the cake?” he repeated.

“Ugh,” you sunk into the couch, “some amytal, zolpidem. Some melatonin. I didn’t measure, okay, and again, I wasn’t counting on you eating it.” You didn’t know why you had this urging feeling to respond to him, to humor his jabs, his dumb fucking theatrics, but you did anyway.

“Some amytal? Some zolpidem? Some melatonin? Jesus fucking christ - is that what you wanted? To kill me?” He was leaning down, face inches away from yours now.

You pushed him away, disgust on your features clear as day. “Shut the fuck up. I’m not some sociopathic fear-freak like you, Crane. I don’t mix compounds in my creepy little office with the thought of drugging out my fellow professor in mind. It was just an empty threat.”

He let out a disbelieving laugh, “Mixing barbiturates and medications into a cake sounds like an empty threat to you?”

“You know what?” You said brightly, getting up off the couch, “I don’t have to argue with you. I came to get my cure, woke up having cured myself.” Then, you burst out the door, fury rolling off you in waves, and you left.

There was something about the incident, however, that seemed to intrigue Crane to no end. Soon enough, he began entering your office during your breaks, asking to have a chat. Or, he’d walk in during your lessons, forcing you two in the hall alone. Sometimes, he’d even wait for you after school, dozing off in front of your classroom and waiting for you to exit your office.

You couldn’t tell what was making Crane so interested, but he was hanging off you and your every word like some lovesick puppy.

You, on the other hand, also couldn’t get Crane out of your head. Certainly not for some weird, fucked up reason like his, but because of what he had created. A lot of people doubted his intelligence, mostly because of his obsession on things nobody really cared about, but that obsession made way to the destructive fear-toxin you’d inhaled, and it was seriously unlike anything you’d ever experienced, hell, even read about. It was a brand new creation, and downright deadly.

Your interest in the man was more so on… keeping him in check. As rivals did. But his was on how you’d breezed past the effects of his toxin in just twelve hours. He’s expected you to go half mad, honestly. Your threat was empty… his was, decidedly, not.

By the end of the next week following the incident, you two began eating lunch together, asking for joint classes, and spending nights over at each other's places. Not in that way, of course — your way was like a group of scientists having a forever eureka, because your minds fit like perfect puzzle pieces.

Your intrigue had met his intrigue, and it felt natural, coming to a united front like that. You found you had more in common than you thought, something you should’ve found out about a long time ago, 3 ½ years kind of long time ago. Apart, you two were volatile; angry, spewing threats, attempting murder on the other. Together, however, you were absolute perfection: productive, well-mannered, motivated.

Now, fast-forward coming on two years since the incident. You and Crane - now, Jonathan, have been inseparable since that time. You two were close, closer than siblings or children and parents or couples; you felt like the same person that had been split into two. Being together was the only thing that felt right, being back at the origin, like being at home.

Fuck’s sakes, you did have the same home — you’d moved in together. Not to his, nor yours, but to a big house you bought on the outskirts of Gotham, with a big yard and an even bigger lab in the basement. It was like a scientist's amusement park.

Maybe it - this relationship of yours - was codependency. But maybe it was utter genius: your careers had both never seen so many accomplishments until you and Jonathan came together. Partly because you had a greater inspiration when coupled with the other, but, mostly because you had a body to test on during preliminary trials.

Creating things, like the fear-toxin, required human testing, and finding a way to get that done always slowed Jonathan down. Since finding you, however, it’d been a breeze.

You offered yourself up readily, given Jonathan would do the same. And, besides, Jonathan had never been worried about you and his toxin very much — after that first time you took the toxin, you could easily find yourself out of its effects. You were the only person he’d ever encountered who could do this, and it was downright fascinating. He wanted to keep you, see how that strong little mind of yours worked overtime to fight his toxin off.

You, on the other hand, rarely tested anything like that on Jonathan. Your interests lied elsewhere: what smells activate the human mind to recall memories, what are ways to accurately fight off drugs like GHB — all mental stimulation.

That, however, changed one evening, when you had been brewing up a serum for the past few weeks. You’d gotten to the point in creation where you needed to test on someone, and observe the effects.

“Jonathan,” you called out, looking down at your notes. The man in question was grading assignments for the psychology class you taught — now, in joint lessons more often than not — sitting at a desk a few metres away from you in the lab.

“Jonathan!” you repeated louder this time, looking up from your notes.

“What?” He shouted back, still hunched over on the ungodly amount of assignments he needed to mark.

“Come here. I need to test something on you.” You said, nonchalant.

That, however, piqued Jonathan’s interest to no end: you hadn’t tested anything on him in nearly a year. It hurt, a little, to test you endlessly and have nothing to give in return - so this, no matter what it was, Jonathan would take in stride.

Jonathan nodded vehemently, “Okay.” He then dropped all he’d been doing on the desk and made his way over, before sitting in the chair next to you. You made quick work, tying his arms and legs to the chair like he’d done to you so many times before. He watched you work, completely enraptured in how you looked while experimenting.

“So,” He said, tearing his sticky gaze off of you, “what’re you pumping me full of?”

You sat back in your desk chair and scratched your cheek, a little unsure how to say this. “Well, I created a serum that, once injected, would lower or lose all inhibitions of the victim. They’d be completely malleable, agreeable, if you just, um,” you fanned yourself, feeling a little too close to the man in front of you, room feeling incredibly warm.

“Just what?” He pried, leaning back in his chair.

You exhaled shakily, “if you just promise to - to provide relief to them. Sexual - relief.”

Jonathan let out an incredulous laugh. “You made a working aphrodisiac?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t exactly — I don’t even know if it works, for sure. If you don’t want to- take it, then you don’t have to.” You offered up weakly.

“How d’you get it out of the system?” He said instead, ignoring your words and picking up the needle you had ready for him on your worktable, which was filled with a thick, pink liquid.

You flushed. “You, um, help the victim relieve themselves, until the feeling is gone.”

Jonathan looked up at you, a sly smirk on his lips. “And you were going to give this to me?”

You turned away, face red, exasperated. “I told you, you don’t have to take it if you don’t want to.”

“And let you pleasure some random guy you snatched off the street? No way,” he said, before you heard a familiar prick, small whine leaving Jonathan’s mouth.

You spun back around so fast you thought you got whiplash. “Jonathan, wait—“ you said, alarmed. You were really, seriously, considering not giving the aphrodisiac to him — it would disrupt the careful balance you and he had built over the past years.

You were afraid that if he took the serum, and let you, for lack of a better word, get him off, you wouldn’t be able to look at him without remembering him needy, hot and bothered, calling your name out like it was the only word he knew.

He’d done it anyway, though. And now, you both just had to get through this… experiment.

Quickly, you grabbed your pen and notebook, ready to approach this scenario as detached and clinically as possible, ignoring the pulsing need in your insides as you saw Jonathan’s face slowly contort into a warm, heavy-lidded lustful one.

“How do you feel, Jonathan?” You said, standing further away from him so he couldn’t so much as feel your body heat on him.

“I…” Jonathan blinked rapidly, licking his lips, looking you up and down. “Warm. I just feel… warm.” He readjusted in the seat, unable to sit still. “And - kind of, tingly? Like I - well, I don’t know…”

You noted his words, as well as some of your own observations: his pupils were dilated, so much so the crystalline blue of his eyes were merely slivers, his lips were pursed, plump, and he was pink all over; pink cheeks, pink ears, pink neck. He was talkative, loose-lipped and a little out of it.

You inhaled, then exhaled, before starting the next phase of the experiment. “Jonathan, how do you feel when I touch you here?” You said, raising the back of your hand to caress his cheek.

Jonathan was affected almost immediately, eyes shutting tight. “It feels,” he said breathily, leaning into your touch, “ah… nice. Good.”

You nodded, promptly pulling away as soon as he’d finished his sentence. Subject enjoys physical touch. Jonathan then peered up at you, looking slightly… disappointed?

You shook yourself, getting back on task. “How do you feel now?” You pried, noticing he looked far more affected than before.

Beads of sweat were dripping from his forehead, making his wavy brown hair stick to his skin. He was breathing heavily, and, when you had touched him, he was extremely warm, like he had a fever.

“I’m, I…” Jonathan trailed off, eyes shutting, shaking his head. “Mmm… my head feels — fuzzy,” he bit out raspily.

“Okay. Good. It's exactly as I thought,” you murmured, continuing to scratch down notes.

You ignored him for a few minutes, writing up a list of side effects and observed results of the aphrodisiac. Then, your gaze drew back to him, who had been focussing intently on you the whole time.

“Jonathan?” you called out quietly, seeing his dazed expression. “Talk to me.”

Jonathan shuddered, leaning forward in the chair, head hanging low, “My - my body’s, hnngh… it feels— feels weird.” He bit his lip, face screwed up and tense. “I’m warm all over…”

His shoulders were hunched in, and he was trembling. You lifted a hand up to his head, petting him softly, carding your fingers through his hair.

“Ah…” Jonathan squeaked out at your touch, face going slack, “I feel like I need you to - to…” he sighed exasperatedly, “I need you.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek conflictedly. On one hand, you needed to finish up a few more tests, meaning Jonathan would be teased - or tortured, depending on how fast the aphrodisiac was affecting him - a little longer. On the other hand, he was already a breathy mess, begging for your touch. For you.

“Fuck,” you murmured, turning away from the man who’s eyes were practically rolling into the back of his head at the way you tugged at his locks. “No, no,” you fought your internal struggle. You would not give in to his pleas - you would finish this experiment.

“Okay. Okay.” you said to no-one but yourself, extracting your hand from his velvet soft hair. “Let’s be professional about this. Jonathan, I’m going to take your clothes off, but you can’t move, and you can’t touch me, okay?”

Jonathan’s breathing became more labored as you spoke, and you swore you could see desperate tears filling his eyes. “I can’t- I can’t touch you? But… but why not?” He was practically whining for you.

“Because, Jonathan, it wouldn’t be beneficial to the experiment.” You didn’t look your partner in the eye, because his complete and total change in behavior had you feeling, quite frankly, as warm as him.

You continued by undoing the restraints on his arms and legs, and his sharp intakes of breath as your fingers brushed past his skin didn’t slip past you. Not at all.

Firstly, you undid the man’s white button-up shirt slipping it past his flushed torso. Jonathan’s skin was actually pink and warm all over, and he was breathing heavily now, gripping the chair so tight his knuckles were white.

“Are you okay, Jonathan?” you asked absently, as you began unbuckling his belt and slipping down his fly.

Jonathan’s breath hitched in his throat, and he didn’t answer you, biting down on his lower lip to stop any desperate moans from escaping him.

You finally finished undressing your partner, then redid his restraints, before you stepped back to see him fully. Jonathan was shivering, faint tear tracks on his pink cheeks, head cocked back.

“It’s just - one, or two more tests, Jonathan.” You murmured quietly, kneeling down in front of him.

Your hands pressed flat on his thighs, rubbing him up and down, grazing your fingers lightly on his feverish skin. You had to regularly ground yourself, stop yourself from inching up to the poor, untouched tent in his boxer shorts.

Above you, you could hear Jonathan let out a low groan, “Ah, hnng— please,” he called out to no-one in particular.

“Does that - feel good, Jonathan?” You ask, getting back up on your feet. His desperate groans were getting to you now, how needy his little keens were.

“So - good,” he panted. “Your— you, I want— need, I need…” he trailed off, babbling, lost to the pleasure of your touch.

“Jonathan, if I… touched you more, would you do anything for me?” You said finally. The invention of the aphrodisiac was intended to sway someone's motivations, make them bend to your will. Sure, there was that added sexual aspect, but it was created with less… pleasurable intentions.

“Anything, anything at all,” he said deliriously, rolling his head around. “Jus’… just need you to- touch me.”

“Would you give yourself fear-toxin, Jonathan?”

“Yes! Yes, just — please… please! Stop asking me— questions… I need you so fucking bad, ah…”

“Jesus,” you said. Your aphrodisiac was stronger than you thought. You were satisfied, however, with the results of it. The first trial was a success, and you saw how you could use this on anyone - even people in particular positions of power, and get them to do your bidding. Quite helpful, indeed.

Now, you needed to… get Jonathan out of this state. By, ah, relieving him.

You had decided to do this, to test him, so you had to be responsible and help ease him out of this experiment. Quickly, you stripped your own clothing, even your underwear, before undoing the restraints on his arms and legs.

Jonathan’s eyes widened as he watched you undress. “Are you - are you… gonna t—touch me? Now? Please?” He practically begged, almost drooling at the sight of your naked body.

“Mhm,” you said, a tremble in your voice. “Gon’ help you get out of this.”

Then, you climbed onto Jonathan’s lap, shutting your eyes as you felt his hard cock within his boxer shorts slide between your legs deliciously.

He let out a guttural groan as your weight pressed down on him, feeling your wetness soak his shorts. That measly piece of fabric was all that was keeping him from entering your plush, velvet folds, and he was going practically insane at the feeling.

“M’god,” Jonathan whined out, leaning his sweaty head on your shoulder. “Y’feel so, a—ah, good…”

You couldn’t help the breezy laugh that made its way out of you. “I haven’t even touched you yet, Jonathan, and you’re already so worked up,” you whispered in his ear, hot breath fanning on his warm skin.

“P-pleeeease,” He begged, slowly grinding into you. Jonathan was barely coherent, mind just focussed on chasing the release he so desperately needed.

You raised a brow, but complied, slipping your warm hands down his boxer shorts and pulling his thick length out. You pumped him lazy, feeling how he writhed under you, tasteful whimpers slipping out of his mouth.

After another second of you stroking him lightly, your thumb grazing past the tip and collected a decent amount of precum, he actually did come, wet hot load spurting upwards on his chest and your face. “Ah - hnngh, oh my — oh my god,” he drooled, jutting into your hand.

It dripped down from your cheek onto your lips, and Jonathan squeezed his eyes shut, losing himself in the pleasure. You swiped a handful of his cream off your face, before covering his still hard, curved cock with it.

“You’re not done, aren’t you?” You said to him quietly, his hips stuttering as you artfully smeared his come on himself. Jonathan was arching into your touch, completely putty in your hands.

“Nuh- no, m’still— still need you, need you so bad.” he whimpered shamefully, hands stuck to your waist.

“Look at you go,” you found yourself cooing, dragging a creamy hand down his equally as creamy chest, your fingernails grazing him. “Let me take care of you.”

Then, you lifted yourself up off his lap, and carefully situated your slit on the tip of his head. “Christ,” you called out as you slid down, “you’re fucking big,”

Inch by inch, you took him, and Jonathan’s eyes were rolling into the back of his head, a string of senseless groans and whines leaving his mouth. “Feels so warm, so so warm,” he choked out at last, looking at you adoringly.

You started to lift out of him, your cunt stinging slightly at the sheer size of his cock, when you felt a heated liquid shoot through you, Jonathan’s knees buckling under your ass.

He’d come, again, even before you could get started. You shook your head incredulously at the terribly horny man beneath you, eyes glazed over in the pure ecstasy he was feeling.

“Stop, fucking — coming,” you scolded, bottoming his cock into you once more, “you’re gonna get me so — ah— fucking - pregnant if you keep coming.”

“Sorry,” Jonathan said sheepishly, burying his head into the crook of your neck. “Can’t help it— you feel so — hnngh — feel so good.”

You rolled your eyes at his words, then focussed on getting a good pace of sliding in and out, your hips rolling deeper and deeper into his own. You were bouncing quickly on his cock, dick-riding him like you’d never done before.

With all other sexual partners you had, they wanted to be all vanilla, always just missionary, going slow until they were close, no sense of creativity or any other wishes that just feeling you. With Jonathan - especially in the state he was in now - you could do whatever you wanted, as long as his cock was in your cunt.

“Good — god,” you screamed out, when Jonathan suddenly gained control over himself and snapped into you, rough hands pinching the flesh of your hips. He rutted into you, hard and fast, for a moment like that continually, before his control melted once more into nothingness, and all he could do was let you take the reins.

“Please— how’re you so — ah, how does your pussy feel so good…” he murmured, trailing off into a high-pitched moan when you pulled out, then just as fast sunk down on him.

Jonathan’s fingers trailed up your body, rubbing at your soft flesh, before they found your breasts, kneading you tenderly. He chanced several licks on both your erect nipples, and you shuddered, tightening around him. Your cunt was sucking him in, devouring his length no matter how big he was, and he could feel how his length was stretching your walls wide open.

“So fucking big.” You panted, arms wrapping around his neck, “fat fucking cock all needy, just me.”

“Jus’… just for you! All - ah, all for you,” Jonathan repeated with a squeak, lips bitten delicately between his teeth.

Your hands trailed all over his body, and as the pleasure was getting to you, making your head dizzy and your thoughts foggy, you bounced down on him and your nails scratched up his back, surely leaving small wounds.

This miniscule amount of pain seemed to amplify Jonathan’s endless pleasure, and you could feel him pumping you full of his come once again, the tip of his dick pressed flush against your cervix. His come made you feel so full, fuller than you already did with his monstrous cock nestled into you, continually rubbing up on the toe-curlingly spongy spot in your cunt every time you pushed him back in.

“Mmf,” Jonathan groaned, pleasure muffling whatever he was was going to say, “m’gonna… gonna get you pregnant,”

“Yeah?” You breathed out, squeezing your eyes shut, “Is that what this needy cock wants? To get my wet cunt full and me pregnant?”

“Yes, yes, hnngh, please, wanna come - wanna come more,” Jonathan cried out.

“‘kay, okay,” you nodded vehemently, “then make this pussy feel good.”

Then, you slid out with a whimper, two loads worth of come spilling out of your worn-out cunt, turning around so your ass would face him, before you sunk back down on him. You were chasing your own pleasure now, the unmistakable feeling rumbling within your lower stomach.

Jonathan was completely fucked out, just a shaking, hot and bothered mess on the sticky wooden chair you’d both occupied, but he still welcomed your warm pussy back on him with open arms. Your folds beat any other cunt he’d ever been in, and he knew nothing, not even his own hand, could match up to how addicting you were, how delectably you took him.

The new angle had you reeling, your hands gripping Jonathan’s thighs for some much-needed support. You were buckling, getting weaker with every bounce, but were still desperate for release. It affected Jonathan too, and he was pressing his face up against your hair, biting down lightly on your shoulder to collect himself despite the earth-shattering pleasure you were inflicting on him.

Your fleshy cunt met his rock-solid cock every moment perfectly, and soon enough your back was arching, head leaning back on Jonathan’s shoulder. That knot in your stomach was tightening, a fire burning within you and begging you not to stop.

Jonathan’s needy hands were coursing all over your body, rubbing on you in all the right places, and when his calloused fingers began pinching and twisting at your sensitive nipples, you saw white. That burning feeling dragged across your entire body, your jaw tensing, and you felt positively fuzzy, pure pleasure destroying all coherent thoughts you’d been having, your mind now focussed on the insane way he made you orgasm.

There was nothing that could compare to how you felt now, this being the hardest you’d orgasmed in your entire life. There was just something about Jonathan — be it how unbelievably big he was, or perhaps the odd tension that surrounded you two for the past few years — that made this experience ten times, no, a hundred times, better.

It was like his dick had been artfully crafted to stretch you out and stuff you full; that thick cock, made just for you.

In place of your weakening strength, Jonathan kept his hand tweaking your breast, and his other hand gripped your hip tightly, helping you bounce up and down on his cock. Thus, the pleasure was maximized by his touch, and you rode out your high like that for a few more long moments.

You stayed there, on his lap panting and drooling, for a few more seconds, before you climbed off of him, grimacing at the loss of his sweet cock in you.

You stood shakily, feeling his come ooze out of your sticky hole, and you were surprised to see that Jonathan was still hard. He was panting, head leaning against the chair, hands and legs trembling, but his dick could probably still pump out another round of come.

You did always wondering how he’d taste, and after seeing how long and thick he was, you wanted to know if his dick could make you cry, too. So, you kneeled down on the cold floor, pulling him by the ankles a little further off the chair, so you could get better access to him, and buried your pretty little head between his shaking thighs.

“What’re you— doing?” Jonathan said blearily, but before he could continue, your soft lips wrapped around him, and your tongue began artfully swiveling his sensitive head.

The loudest moan you’d heard so far was drawn out of Jonathan, and more, similar noises came out of him. It was nonsensical, and unintelligible, but you could tell he was having the time of his life — as if he hadn’t just orgasmed three times prior.

You started slowly, mouth taking his cock until you felt like you couldn’t anymore, before forcing past that point and making yourself take him to the back of your throat. Tears lined the rims of your eyes, your head swimming from lack of oxygen, but you couldn’t help how badly you wanted to hear him whimper and whine out from how good you were servicing him, his pretty groans reaching your ears like music.

You pulled his cock out of your mouth when you felt like you were going to pass out, and then you began lapping up at his cock, sucking and curving your tongue around his long length. You sucked him hard and fast, and then, his hands grappled at your hair.

At this point, you believed the aphrodisiac was wearing off, and Jonathan, now a little more clearheaded, began face fucking you, filling your sweet mouth full with his filthy cock. He couldn’t resist doing so, especially with you looking up at him through your tear-stained lashes, hollowing out your cheeks and gripping his thighs like your life depended on it.

You gagged on him, several times, but he didn’t care, and with a jolted thrust past your swollen lips, he came, squirting all he had left down your throat. You sucked and swallowed every drop of him into your mouth, loving the taste of his salty liquid.

Now, you were both fucked out, beyond tired, the strain on your muscles settling in. Your core had been properly exercised, what with how many times you rutted into Jonathan, and he, similarly, had a strained back with how much he arched into your touch, his aphrodisiac-clouded mind wanting nothing more but to be touched by you.

“Good god, woman,” Jonathan said, collapsing into the wooden chair, which was sticky with sweat, come and your cunt’s soaking wetness. “You could’ve just said you wanted to fuck,”

You panted, dropping down onto the cold floor beneath you and wincing. “We’re — we were, just friends.”

He waved away your words, “We live together, darling. Not quite sure if that's “just” friends.”

You looked up at him, before laughing agreeably. “Felt good though, didn’t it?” A smug grin made its way on your lips, remembering how submissive Jonathan had been, how desperate he’d been just for the slightest bit of touch.

“Amazing,” he said exasperatedly. “But next time, you’re not topping.”

“Next time, huh?” You said brightly, shakily getting up. Jonathan helped you, both of you limping exhaustedly up the stairs to your actual house, where you really should’ve been fucking, instead of the clinical environment of your large basement lab.

Jonathan’s hands found your ass, pulling you flush against him and kneading the flesh roughly. “Why not? Don’t you wanna know how I fuck?” he whispered suggestively into your ear, nibbling at the lobe.

“I think, you’ve still got some aphrodisiac in you, Jon.” you said, laughing breezily.

#jonathan crane x reader #jonathan crane smut #jonathan crane #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy #batman #sub!jonathan crane #sub!jonathan crane x reader

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beescake · 4 months

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i am in love with your sollux i think

sollux love party :]

if you’re interested heres some of my personal fondness thoughts on him.. big warning for the mega long read ahead aye

as we alr know sollux's rejection of participation somewhat mirrors dave's rejection of heroism, but even without getting cooked to completion i still find sollux's character v compelling beyond the fourth wall

as someone who doesnt get a pinch of that Protagonist Sparkle to begin with, he can openly say he wants to leave anytime…. and unlike dave, he actually Can leave the scene anytime. but he can never be truly Free from the story via permanent character death like the other trolls.

his irrelevancy is indeed relevant - he’s there so u can point him out.

while his image is intended to be a relic of past internet subculture, his role is not only about hehehaha being a Chad or a 2000s cyberforum 2²chan haxxor ragequit gamebro.

his continued existence also happens to add a Bit to the overarching themes of homestuck! a Bit that gives him longer-lasting thematic relevance compared to the trolls who could’ve had more character potential but didnt get to survive beyond the main story.

the Bit in question:

his defiance contributes to the illusion of agency (treating characters = people with autonomy). he’s “aware” of it, and that recognition is worth noting enough to forcibly keep him alive as both reward and punishment.

considering how his personality & classpect is designed its definitely a very haha thing for hussie to do LOL. he’s made to be op asf so he's resigned to doing dirty work, gradually deteriorating along the way but never truly dying. as fans have mentioned before, him openly rejecting involvement after a while of grim tolerance is like if the sim u were controlling suddenly stopped, looked up and gave u the finger while u were step six into the walkthrough for Every Possible Sim Death Animation.

but since he’s just a sim… the more he hates it, the more you keep him around. if ur sim started complaining abt your whimsical household storyline you’d definitely keep that little fuck.

but yeah i like that sollux is just idling. the significance of his presence being that one dude who's always reliably Somewhere, root core Unchanged, no individual ambitions (possibly due to fear of consequence?), and design-wise: a staple representative product of his time.

compared to dirk's character, who has aged phenomenally well into the present (themes of control + AR + artificial intelligence, clearer exploration around navigating relationships/sexuality, infinite possibilities of self-splinterhood and trait inheritance), sollux's potential is really... contained. bitter. defeatist. limiting and frustrating in the way old tech is.

the world continues moving on to shinier, brighter, more advanced automated things - minimalist and metaverse or whatever but sollux is still here 🧍‍♂️ going woohoo redblue 3d. (tho personally i imagine his vibe similar to what the kids call cassette futurism on pinterest mixed w more grimy grunge insectoid influences eheh)

conceptually-speaking,

at the foundation of it all, the rapid pace of modern development was built off the understanding of ppl like sollux in the past, who were There actively at work while the dough was still beginning to rise

thats one of the cool things abt the idea of trolls preceding humans! the idea that trolls like sollux excelled back when lots of basic shit still needed to be discovered, building structures like networks and codes from scratch, and humans will eventually inherit and reinvent that knowledge in ways that become so optimized it makes the old manual effort seem archaic, slow, and labour-intensive.

but despite information/resources/shortcuts being more accessible now, much of the new highly-anticipated stuff released on trend still end up unfinished, inefficient, or expiring quickly due to cutting corners under severe capitalistic pressures

meanwhile, some of the old stuff frm past generations of thorough, exploratory and perfectionistic development still remains working, complete, and ever so sturdy.

those things continue to exist, just outside our periphery with either:

zero purpose left for modern needs (outdated/obsolete)

far too important to replace or destroy, bcs of its surprisingly essential and circumstantial usefulness in one niche specific area.

which are honestly? both points that sum up sollux pree well.

dramatic ending sorry. anw are u still on the fence or are u Sick abt him like me </3

#ask #anon #sollux captor #homestuck #hs2 spoilers #2023 #vioart #hs2 sollux explaining girls and bitches to john: 🗣️🗣️🗣️#mr foods‚ setting up the visuals: LMAO ok pause. cool story bro theyre all gone its just u n ur sandwich bro.#now that i think abt it sol's kind of a toaster? awkwardly takes up countertop space #lacks the versatility and sociability of an air fryer/pressure cooker. unwashed and littered w crumbs!#but sometimes the clear‚ frank simplicity of the toaster is a temporary lifesaver for ppl who struggle w low appetite / decision fatigue #or ppl who just have a habit of eating toast for breakfast LOL #and eh ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ even if u dont feel like toasting today thats ok he's still gonna be sitting there 👍👍#a funnyman..... i curse him in my pan but root for him in my biscuit 🫶

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riizebabie444 · 6 months

Text

𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙞𝙣 2024 ୨୧

୨୧ ─── as we approach the end of 2023, i thought it might be nice to do reading about the themes of your life in the coming year using a new astrology deck and tarot. the astrology cards will represent the theme and the tarot card drawn for each will provide some depth to the message. enjoy!

୨୧ ─── picking your pile: take a deep breath and allow your soul to centre itself. when you feel your mind balanced and cleared, allow yourself to be drawn to an image. your eyes may gravitate to one, or you may close your eyes and feel which image is calling out.

୨୧ ─── be sure to check out my other readings and don’t forget to share and give feedback. disclaimer: all readings done are for entertainment only. please do not use my tarot readings as a replacement for legitimate advice.

୨୧ ─── masterlist. paid readings. exchange rules.

donations. games/events. feedback.

୨୧ ─── 𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚

the overarching theme of your life in 2024: your astrology card is libra and your clarifying tarot card is five of pentacles. the overarching theme of your life this year will be making the world a better place. you will feel an emphasis on treating others equally, and being treat equally yourself. this might also mean cutting off those who do not treat you in the same way you treat them. and the other way around also, with others concluding whether or not you are treating them fairly too.

you will be very friendly and kind in the coming year, especially to those who may be less fortunate. you may feel like you've lost all hope, but you will still choose to show love and kindness to others. in your mind, everyone deals with their own struggles so you do your best to maintain your own positivity while spreading the positivity to others. you will feel very optimistic and easy going despite the struggles of life.

you may also choose to be the peacekeeper, especially when you hit hard times, or when others hit their hard times. however, this could mean you avoid confrontation for the sake of keeping peace, which could make wounds grow deeper. you could be feeling very lonely this year which you will try to blind out by being social and making lots of friends. it is important to not distract yourself from what needs to be fixed.

the energy you will embody in 2024: your astrology card is sagittarius and your clarifying tarot card is ten of cups. it makes sense that your energy is sagittarius as it relates to the above. to be friendly and sociable, you need to be adventurous and confident. you will embody the energies of honesty and optimism, excitement and wittiness. you will be a very likeable person, and i can sense you aura attracting a lot of people due to its genuine curiosity and kindness.

you could also embody the spirit of a traveller, an explorer. you may feel the need to travel a lot in the coming year, and dream a lot of being in different places and parts of the world. you'll also be very energetic with the energy of sagittarius, and also the ten of cups. feeling content and blissful with all of your relationships, and you might notice yourself feeling more romantic than usual.

peace and love is everything for you in 2024. but in difficult times, you could become cold to others. for example, you would love to be sociable, but when you are not in the mood, you might be silent or stop talking to others all together. in that way, you might be a little inconsistent also if your energy is left unchecked, and perhaps even reckless. you can be emotionally content in the year but that doesn't mean there won't be hard times where you act the exact opposite of what you normally do. you'll feel an emotional climax in the coming year for both positive and negative emotions. but don't forget the real you who wants to spread peace and love in this cruel world.

focuses, advice and messages for 2024: your astrology card is pluto and your clarifying tarot cards are queen of pentacles reversed and three of pentacles reversed. the advice for you is to face the changes in life no matter how difficult. if you only focus on positive things and staying positive whilst simultaneously ignoring all the negative things, it becomes toxic positivity. you are being warned to not let this happen.

furthermore, it is important for you to not become jealous of others and what they have. it is easy to look at someone else's life and wish you were living it, but your message here is to not feel selfish or envious about wanting things that aren't meant for you. practise gratitude for what you have and self-care to nourish your mind and body so you can avoid this kind of energy. there is already so many negative influences in the world that could affect you, so don't add to them by bringing your own negativity into your life.

the last message is that in 2024, some things will begin and some things will end. you are being called to remember that the cycle of life exists, and old things end to make room for new things. likewise, new things come in to help remove old things. don't be too focused on either the positive things or negative things. you need to have a dynamic balance between your focus on each or else you will become hopeless and depressed or overconfident and unrealistic.

lastly, the three of pentacle reversed can indicate disharmony between groups. friendship or work groups or even family. you may not be on the same page as others, so it is important to listen to others and value others' opinions and ideas as well as your own. and also ensuring others treat you the same too. pay attention to details this year, don't be sloppy and lazy with your work or school life and develop your knowledge, skills and talents.

୨୧ ─── 𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙬𝙤

the overarching theme of your life in 2024: your astrology card is leo and your clarifying tarot card is the ace of wands. the main theme of your life in 2024 will be developing your creativity and skills and learning to be courageous. these two cards compliment each other well, and allow the energy to become much stronger. leo is already brave and assertive, and ace of wands is all about potential. you will grow a lot in the coming year.

i want to say being sociable will be a theme for the year, but moreover, the theme of personal growth is greater. you will receive lots of attention, and maybe even enjoy it as you may not be used to it at this moment. people will notice you a lot more with your newfound confidence and changes you are making to your personality and appearance. i feel you will be very charming this year. one thing i see is you complimenting and praising others a lot, as much as you will receive the same, which is what will make others love you even more. people will want you around but do be weary of those who only want you around for selfish reasons.

you'll be generous with your time and energy this year. i see you need to be careful to not give so much of it to others that you have none left for yourself. and with the ace of wands, you are sharing all of this potential. there is no gatekeeping this year. you will do your best to help others. it will even motivate you and inspire you to do better with your own life. you will attract success and good luck with these themes present. however, these themes do come hand in hand with arrogance and possessiveness, and even jealousy. always remember that personal growth is for yourself, and not something to show off to others or to make you feel better than others.

the energy you will embody in 2024: your astrological card is jupiter and your clarifying tarot card is the lovers reversed. jupiter is all about growth. this energy with significantly compliment the themes of your year. the energy you have will be expanding and healing. inviting lots of good fortune. but of course be aware that excessive good fortune will also have negativity lurking around. you might experience a lot of "miracles" this year, or just really lucky circumstances. you'll feel quite lucky.

if you feel attracted to pile one, you might want to read it. you'll have adventurous energy, wanting to travel a lot. you might even need to travel for work or family. i believe you will have a lot of energy focused on education or learning in general. such as learning new skills so you can take on more responsibilities with work or school, even hobbies. you may be facing the consequences of past actions in 2024, but you will not hide away. your brave energy will allow you to face them head on. you might also realise some toxic relationships need to come to an end. this is all part of jupiter's growth. it involves removing what is holding you back.

with the lovers reversed, your energy can be positive and healing but it will come with difficulties. you might deal with inner and outer conflicts in regards to your life. your energy might feel disharmonious at some points in the year. you could often feel that some things are "off", that something doesn't feel right. you can trust your intuition in some circumstance, but in others intuition alone will not be enough and you will need to put in the effort to work through things. jupiter's energy will always help you find balance again. self-love is also here as an energy, but you may be lacking it in the coming year.

focuses, advice and messages for 2024: your astrology card is uranus and clarifying tarot card is ten of pentacles. here, we have the energy of drastic changes. it holds the energy of being awakened. you will experience a different kind of drive to what you have had before, such as feeling motivated in ways you have never been motivated before. perhaps in the past you have been a procrastinator. uranus, and the other astrological energies, will guide you to a new source of motivation and it will allow you to be totally different from the past.

you want to be different and make a change in 2024. so accept and work with the energies of uranus in order to make it happen. you will be really setting the foundations of your future in this year. so if you know an important choice will be made, such as which degree to do, or subject to study, or job to choose. think about them deeply, weigh the options against each other and choose the right one for you, because it will set the tone for your future. but as there are important questions to answer, you should also share your attention to all areas of your life. your decisions must ultimately reflect in the best way possible for all aspects of your life.

furthermore, money and possessions seem quite important this year, so consider them greatly, they might be the deciding factor in your decisions. think about the future, and how the decisions you make in this year will affect the positions of you and your dreams a year, five years, ten years down the line. for some, it may be a decision like getting married or starting a business. you need to consider how it will affect the future that you want.

୨୧ ─── 𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚

the overarching theme of your life in 2024: your astrological card is taurus and your clarifying tarot is the chariot. the themes of your year will be all about hard work and building something for the future. it's very hard-working and studious energy, consistent and disciplined. you want to move forward in a positive direction, so you are setting the foundations in 2024 to make it happen. you'll be extremely committed to the important things in your life.

there will be a lot of emphasis on family, spending time with them as much as you can because you know most of your time will be going into work and staying organised. you will want to create something with a long lasting value, something that won't just be significant in 2024, but for the foreseeable future. it's all about having the willpower to commit to your goals so that you can see victory. "keep going" is what i keep hearing. you'll be pushing yourself harder than ever, so it is important to also rest when you need it.

you will enjoy building up layers of stability over the year. but sometimes you will need a breath of fresh air. this year you will really appreciate the outdoors, especially when you are taking a break from the hard work. you will have a strong desire to succeed this year and taking breaks is what will make the difference between burning out and staying consistent. the outdoors will also help to keep any jealousy at bay. possessiveness and jealousy are negative themes which could come through in 2024. remember that not everyone is an enemy. instead of feeling jealous of others achieving goals quicker than you, use it as motivation to make yours happen faster.

the energy you will embody in 2024: your astrological card is ninth house and your clarifying tarot card is queen of wands. these two cards compliment each other a lot. you're set out on your quest to make your dreams come true but you know that the horizon isn't the end despite it being the farthest you can see. you know making dreams come true goes beyond just making it happen. for example, you can make a cake. but you can't make the cake without knowing how to make it. and when you learn how to make it, you can't make it without the ingredients. so you first need to find the ingredients.

in this sense, you will learn to do things step by step, slowly building up the layers to create a solid foundation for your goals to be sustainable. it could mean you will be more inclined this year to focus in education and learning skills. it will feel like your basic instinct is to learn. you are providing initial inputs for future outputs. you can also be more confident and outgoing this year, but being sociable will be quite draining since a lot of your energy will go into work.

you're energy in 2024 will be a mix of earthly and fiery energy. the two often clash with each other and could mean you will burn out quite easily. you don't want to use up all of your energy straight away. you will feel a little adventurous too, trying new things, new food, visiting new places. you will use your time for rest to nourish your mind and body with new experiences, but you will still have that focus on your goals.

focuses, advice and messages for 2024: your astrology card is the moon and your clarifying tarot card is two of pentacles. your advice hear is to keep the balance. like i already mentioned, with the earth and fire energy it will be easy for you to burn out before you get a chance to finish your goals. you might also be rushing from one thing to the next. you have that eagerness in you and you need to balance it with your slow and dedicated energy.

ensure you have your downtime, personal time to reflect on the things you are achieving as well as doing things which completely take your mind off of work. such as travelling or socialising. you might even have greater focus on religion and philosophy, which could help you keep your mind at ease. the moon is hear to usher you to reflect on your subconscious reactions and emotions. understand why you are doing the things you are doing. create a deeper insight into yourself. nurture both your mind and body here in order to keep your energy levels high.

try not to compare yourself too much, especially with others. you are on your own journey, you aren't making your dreams come true for anyone else but yourself. so it is important that you don't focus too heavily on what other people are doing and achieving as it can lead to jealousy and bitter feelings which will not reflect well in your own life and work. you are on your own journey going at your own pace. appreciate that as a fact so that you are not influenced with negativity.

୨୧ ─── 𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧

the overarching theme of your life in 2024: your astrological card is pluto and your clarifying tarot card is the tower. these two cards are pretty much one and the same. there is emphasis on power and transformation in your life in the year of 2024. it's likely you will experience big shifts in your life, both physical and mental. what has lied beneath in the past will come to the top in 2024, and you will have no choice but to confront it. it is a very powerful energy and you can feel overwhelmed at many times during the year.

however, it is not all bad energy. the results will almost definitely be positive changes in your life. you'll face the creation of new and amazing things after the destruction of things that no longer served you. honesty and open communication will be key themes this year. you will expect it more from others and also be expected to give the same to others. you'll become more authentic when communicating in the coming year, however, you should ensure that you do not become harsh or brash when communicating. you can be honest, but that doesn't mean you can be mean. be careful with how you say things.

you'll have a lot of focus in finding out the truth. you know the worst will be put behind you but you will still be looking for closure on past events. you may face challenges in general, and you will feel the need to sometimes step back from it all and reflect on what you are doing, and whether or not it is worth doing. you will learn a lot in this process as pluto will guide you to learn right from wrong. you may feel you are experiencing too many hardships but it is a cycle you need to get through in order to overcome it and become stronger.

the energy you will embody in 2024: your astrology card is libra and your clarifying tarot card is the lovers and queen of wands. libra and the lovers pair well together. you will want to find balance and peace. it may be difficult to do so when you are experiencing much change and discomfort due to the energies in the year, however, i think you will still be a softie inside. you may harden up on the outside, but inside you will still be craving for peace and balance.

it is a reminder that not everything lasts forever, so the difficult times will pass over and you will feel confident about coming out stronger. you will have balancing energy within yourself. although outside your mind and body will feel chaotic, you will focus on ensuring the inside of your mind and body is kept healthy and balanced. you will feel the desire to keep the peace, and so your overall energy will be like so.

you may feel very conflicted at times and indecisive. you may often want to hide away from the problems of life. but overall, i see you embodying the strength of someone brave and powerful. someone who is going through the hardest time but still does their best to come out on top. you will feel focused and do what you need to do in order to keep the balance when pluto and the tower are tipping the scales of your life. life is bringing you chaos, so your bring life peace and balance. this will be your energy focuses in 2024.

focuses, advice and messages for 2024: your astrology card is sixth house and your clarifying astrology card is wheel of fortune. it is very important that you take care of your health and wellbeing this year. which makes sense because it will be a drastic year. both physical and mental health should be given attention from yourself. there is some little emphasis on personal growth, however i think it is more important to focus on keeping your mind and body healthy as a priority, and personal growth comes after.

there is also the reminder of what goes around comes around. so be careful of how you treat others. don't take out your personal issues on others who do not deserve it. and if you do, don't be surprised when others react in ways you do not like. you should also focus on separating the things you can't change from the things you can change. you can always make a difference with the things you have control over, so don't be blinded by the things you do not have control over. those are what you must deal with, but everything else you can control to make things better.

focus on routine. i see 2024 may be really hard for you so it will be difficult to stay consistent and disciplined. your energy levels may fluctuate a lot. therefore, it is even more important to reflect on your routine and change it so that it fits with the changes in your life. you should also prepare for the unexpected. things may go your way, others will not. believe that luck and fortune will be on your side despite all the difficulties. i'm hearing you will be rewarded at the end. you are being encouraged to not give up.

୨୧ ─── 𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙫𝙚

the overarching theme of your life in 2024: your astrology card was saturn and your clarifying tarot card is the lovers. saturn is all about being more organised, finding discipline. you will find in 2024 that your life requires a lot more organisation and you will need to be more disciplined. routines will be very beneficial for you. for some, it could be that you allow yourself to be more disciplined and organised, you will put in the effort. for others, you will pretty much be forced into it. you will have no other choice and life may be difficult for you without this energy.

there is also the energy of commitment. commitment to new routines and new habits but also commitment to things and people in your life. some of you may enter a committed relationship, for others it could be friendship, a job, hobby or a home. it could also be staying committed to the new routines. overall, the energy suggests that you will find something or many things to be committed to in 2024. and with your energy being savoured with your newfound organisation, you will have enough energy for such commitments.

the lovers also suggests balance. finding harmony and peace with the changes in your life. if you are someone who has been wanting to be more disciplined in the past, 2024 will be the year it finally happens. you will become more mature and authoritative, embodying that of a leader who sets an example not just to others but also to yourself. your purpose in the year will be to work hard and stay committed.

the energy you will embody in 2024: your astrology card is virgo and your clarifying tarot card is king of swords. virgo is hard working energy. as mentioned above, you will embody the energy of a hard worker. someone who is intelligent and gives everything to their craft. but also staying humble for long after receiving the rewards. i see you will pursue your goals in silence, not bragging and not giving up.

the king of swords shares the same energy. he is smart, a clear thinker, true and authoritative. you may also be someone who enjoys foods and arts in 2024. you will feel the energy to express your creativity, and nourish a creative mind. and you will also feel inclined to emotional connections. but the king also will help you rise above any strong emotional withholdings and help you to see clearly when you are clouded by emotions.

a hard worker often gets lost in their work, so you it is likely you will be prone to bouts of perfectionism throughout the year. you will think a lot with virgo's energy, and perhaps showcase overthinking tendencies, and may be overly critical of yourself and others. it is important you remain unbiased and see both sides of matters, rather than getting stuck in your head. you will be focused on building plans and coming up with ideas.

focuses, advice and messages for 2024: your astrology card is taurus and your clarifying tarot cards are page of cups reversed and ace of pentacles. i love how all of these cards and the ones above are pretty much saying the same thing. although you will be hard working this year, it is important to put in the work for things that will last in the long term. of course you can work on whatever you want but some of it should be on things which will have long lasting value.

you could be experiencing a creative block currently, or this will happen in the coming year. there is also a suggestion to keep your creative ideas a secret. there might be some unoriginal snakes around you who will steal your ideas. it can also indicate some disappointment in regards to emotional relationships so be aware for this. in regards to this, you should try not to act irresponsibly out of emotion, and not letting your emotions get the better of you.

the last piece of advice is to be careful with your expenditure in 2024. new opportunities and prosperity may come your way however, it is important to value stability rather than lushness. there is potential for abundance but be careful with spending everything all at once. you'll experience success with what you put your mind to. but i'm getting the message that you need to keep your head in the game and don't get distracted by rewards.

୨୧ ─── 𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙞𝙭

the overarching theme of your life in 2024: your astrology cards are pluto and aquarius and your clarifying tarot card is page of swords. the themes of your life in 2024 will be change, transforming yourself into someone who is sociable and outgoing. by having the power within yourself to make the change. you'll be more focused on forming friendships and social groups, as well as cultivating work or school circles or bubbles.

trying new things will also be a theme, but more so creating new things, such as friendships, habits, opportunities. and while a lot of your focus will be on other people in the new year, you will also be learning how to be reliant on yourself. the areas of life which need changing will ultimately face the powers of creation and destruction.

this year will be all about curiosity and enthusiasm, staying positive no matter what. always learning and having lots of energy for yourself and others while at the same time, planning carefully for the future. you may at times become pessimistic and impatient, possibly rebellious with both pluto and aquarius' energy, but overall the new year for you is about discovering a new side of yourself and others seeing that side. you may also deal with anxiousness and guardedness, however, you will grow to be an entirely new person for yourself and for others.

the energy you will embody in 2024: your astrology card is sixth house and your clarifying tarot card is ace of cups. the sixth house indicates that a lot of energy and focus will be put towards your health, both mental and physical. and with the ace of cups, it is clear you will especially be taking care of your mind and emotions. all of these are also linked to personal growth, so by putting in the effort to take care of your body and mind, it will also help you with personal development.

your wellbeing is of great importance in 2024, so don't ignore what your body is telling you. it is also involved with work and routines, preparing for day to day tasks rather than looking at long term goals. you'll have very detailed and meticulous focuses this year, and your energy will help you be thorough with completing tasks and achieving goals. and you will also work towards balanced energy, not working too hard as it might harm your wellbeing, and not focusing too much on health as it can distract you from your work.

and your energy might be quite emotional, it is likely you will be experiencing strong emotions and deep feelings, intense connections with others and lots of compassion, with the ace of cups. family and friendship is of importance in 2024, and you will embody the energy of someone your friends and family want to be around. you'll be feeling a renewal of love of all kinds. and also feel encouraged for new beginnings.

focuses, advice and messages for 2024: your astrology card is neptune and your clarifying tarot cards are ten of swords and two of swords. you are being called to not abandon your imagination. while you are focusing on real, tangible things in 2024, it is important to not forget the freedom of a creative mind and know that your mind is capable of many things. it is a warning to let go of limiting beliefs. it is also a suggestion to work on spirituality or personal growth, be connected with yourself on a deep and true level.

and to also figure out which structures and routines are not working for you. what works for everyone else does not necessarily work for you. it is okay to put an end to things that don't serve you anymore. you may feel defeated at times but trust in yourself that it will work out in the end, for the best. darkness does not last forever and if you are experiencing that now, 2024 will be the year you finally let go of it all. so look forward to it, and work towards it also.

you final piece of advice is to listen to your own wisdom and not be influenced by many others. neptune will show you that the truth is within you. the only thing stopping you is your beliefs, and outside influences. listen to yourself when making decisions, do not let others make them for you. you may feel distracted by events and people, and you want to make choices that will be good for everyone however, some choices need to be good for you and you alone. so don't make choices for other people's sake, do it for yourself. and sometimes that might even mean not making the choice at all, or stopping and taking some time to meditate on the decision before making the choice.

#ʚɞ jella’s readings #pac #pick a card #tarot pick a pile #tarot pick a card #tarot pac #free tarot readings #tarot readings

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who-is-page · 4 months

Text

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS: Inky Paws #3

Inky Paws is a nonhuman anthology zine for original fiction writings by nonhumans and alterhumans about nonhumanity, alterhumanity, and similar, related themes. This zine is primarily literature focused, but will also be open to more illustrative methods of story-telling such as comics. The zine’s focus is on fictional pieces that are centered around nonhumanity, alterhumanity, therianthropy, and similar (see Submission Guidelines section for more details).

You are welcome to submit:

Short stories

Microfiction

Satire

Poetry

Song lyrics

Experimental fiction (fake newspapers, fake recipes, fake blogs, fake posters, etc.)

Mixed media

Comics

And more! If you're unsure, just ask! Seriously, please just ask. I promise I would 10000% love to hear about your idea even if you're unsure about submitting it, there is no such thing as a bad idea and I cannot stress this enough.

How to participate:

You can submit your pieces in this Google Form!

Email invisibleotherkin(@)gmail(.)com with your submission, and please title the email "Inky Paws Zine #3 Submission". With your submission, please include:

The piece's title or name,

A name or pen name to attribute the piece to,

Any content warnings that you feel are necessary for the piece,

Any social media handle or personal website you’d like to be published alongside your name with the piece (optional), and

Any relevant author notes or author biographical information (optional).

Anonymous pieces are also welcome.

Once submissions have been collected and the deadline has passed, these submissions will be put into the zine and it will be posted online as a free PDF. Submissions are due by April 30th, 2024.

Please see the Submission Guidelines, and Submission FAQ, below cut.

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:

Each individual may contribute up to 3 accepted submissions to be published in Inky Paws; individuals within systems may each submit 3 pieces, that is to say 3 pieces per systemmate/headmate/preferred term.

Comics and similar multi-part pieces count as one submission altogether: if you submit a single story that has been divided into two sub-stories for dramatic emphasis, or if you submit 10 pages of a single-story comic, or if you submit a written piece of fiction and an accompanying image that you drew or otherwise created to go along with it, that would still only count as one piece.

Submissions must fit the thematic criteria of:

Being explicitly about or based on nonhumans, otherkin, therianthropes, fictionkin, alterhumans, or similar groups, or;

Having strong themes or describing experiences strongly reminiscent of or related to nonhumans, otherkin, therianthropes, fictionkin, alterhumans, or similar such as (but not limited to):

Characters experiencing nonhumanity or alterhumanity as being a part of themselves/their identity,

Characters experiencing anything similar to a shift (including physical shifting),

Characters struggling with (emotionally, socially, or otherwise) being both human and nonhuman or alterhuman in some way,

Characters having a past-life as something nonhuman or alterhuman that strongly still impacts their current life, or

Characters desiring to be nonhuman or have nonhuman attributes.

TL;DR - Your submissions have to relate to or be about alterhumans or nonhumans in some way, shape, or form.

Written submissions must not exceed 7500 words, and must also use a reader-friendly font with a text size of or exceeding 16 pt.

For stories that use multiple different fonts, such as pieces meant to imitate newspapers and similar, every effort will be made to preserve the general "feel" of your piece but fonts may not be transferred over 1:1 due to potential conflicts with font copyright, readability, and overarching zine style.

Multi-part image submissions must not exceed 10 pages in length, and must also use a reader-friendly font with a text size of or exceeding 16 pt if they include text. Images larger than 8.5 x 11in. will be scaled down to an appropriate size; please take that into account when creating and submitting your images. It is also recommended that images be vertical or square in their orientation.

Written submissions should be submitted as a .docx file. Images and mixed media pieces should be submitted as either .jpg or .png files.

All submitted pieces should be your own work. Individuals caught plagiarizing or using AI within their submissions will be barred from participating in Inky Paws, including in any potential future volumes.

SUBMISSION FAQ:

Q: Where will this zine be hosted? A: The zine will be hosted for free download on Itch.io, where issues 1 and 2 of the zine are already hosted.

Q: What is the cap on submissions? A: At this time, we are not looking to accept more than roughly 25 submissions at most, in order to keep numbers and expectations manageable.

Q: Can I update my application after submitting? A: Yes, so long as the updates are submitted before the submission deadline!

Q: What is your policy on content moderation and content warnings? A: If you feel your piece needs content warnings, please include them in the submission, as we are hoping to include relevant content warnings and maturity ratings alongside all pieces. We are at this time accepting pieces of all tones and ratings.

With that said, It should be noted that any items submitted with soapboxing intent and anti-nonhuman, anti-alterhuman, anti-fictionkin, or similar leans are largely not welcome, as this is a zine geared towards all aforementioned groups and then some.

Q: Can I submit an in-progress draft or sketch? Can I claim a spot in the zine before sending in my submission? A: We are not currently accepting WIP pieces for submission at this time, though feel free to send us your WIP if you have questions related to its future submission. We also cannot reserve or guarantee a spot in the zine pre-submission, regardless of any existing drafts or WIPs.

Q: Can I submit a piece of fanfiction? A: While we've now accepted pieces of fanfiction in the past, we tend to prefer to leave them out for legal reasons. If you submit a piece of obvious fanfiction, please know that it may be significantly more likely to be rejected from the zine and that, if the piece is accepted, the piece may be removed without warning from the zine later on if DMCA or legal issues arise. We strongly advise that individuals who wish to write something inspired by fiction make it non-obvious to the outside reader where the inspiration is being taken from.

Q: Can I submit something I've created in the past? A: You can submit something you've created in the past, but please try to avoid submitting anything that you've published previously and is currently publicly accessible. For example, if the story you want to submit has already been featured in a different anthology, please don't submit it to Inky Paws! We want to encourage people to create new pieces, or to put the spotlight on pieces that haven't previously had the opportunity to be published.

Q: Do I have to write something based on the provided prompts? A: Nope! The prompts are there by popular request to help give people a jumping off point for creating, but are not required to be incorporated into your piece and will not have any effect on if your submission gets accepted or not.

Q: What is the projected timeline for this project? A: Submissions will close by April 30th of 2024. The publish date of the zine depends on submission amount and size of submissions; in an ideal world, we hope to have the zine published by December, before year's end.

Q: Can I rescind my submission? A: As long as you request to rescind your submission before the submission deadline, yes. After the deadline passes and the formatting and work towards publishing begins, we cannot guarantee that we will be able to remove your work from the zine due to time constraints and potential formatting issues. Please take this into account before submitting.

Q: Will there be any physical copies of this zine? A: Due to cost restraints and a lack of printing experience on the part of the zine organizers, we have no physical copies of this zine planned for print. You are, however, welcome to download and print copies of the zine for personal use.

Q: Who are the organizers of this zine? Where can I reach out to ask further questions? A: Who-is-Page and Noel Sol of the Sol System are organizing this zine. Feel free to send us any questions, comments, or concerns to invisibleotherkin(@)gmail(.)com, or you can always message us on Tumblr at Who-is-Page.

#alterhuman #otherkin #therian #fictionkin #zine #Inky Paws

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halcyone-of-the-sea · 7 months

Text

Another Word For Protection Masterlist

NAVIGATION || Simon 'Ghost' Riley & Niece!reader (Platonic series)

❝ [There were many different words and examples for protection. Ways of saying it and ways of showing it; all varied from one person to another, oftentimes held reserved for the few that they love the most.

Defense, sanctuary, guidance, barrier, and buffer. A watchful eye and a steady hand.

It all led back to the same overarching meaning at the end of the day. You didn't need all of those fancy words to tell you what the sensation of it felt like, to be cared about. To you, another word for protection wasn't even a word at all, it was a single name:

Simon Riley.] ❞

WARNINGS ➺ Talks about death, murder, Simon's comic backstory & the themes that they carry with them, abductions, tense situations, etc. (Specific warnings stated/implied in each work)

This will be a small collection of fics featuring Uncle Simon & Niece Reader! It will include any future requests I might get for them/ideas I come up with myself/random thoughts, drabbles, or blurbs. No set update schedule or anything.

THOUGHTS ➺

✎ SIMON & SCHOOL SHOWS

╰┈➤❝ [Thinking about how Uncle!Simon would try his best to be at every school event that a young Niece!Reader has, even if he has to race out of the base to get there on time.] ❞

✎ SIMON & HIS MEMORIES

╰┈➤❝ [Thinking about Uncle!Simon and how he would try his best to tell a young Niece!Reader about her parents, brother, and grandma when she asked him where they were.] ❞

DRABBLES ➺

✎ SOLE SURVIVOR

╰┈➤❝ [Your father died years ago, and so you fall under the stiff, and unyielding, protection of your Uncle Simon. But it's not all bad. He can be funny when he wants to be.] ❞

FULL WORKS ➺

✎ BLUE VIOLET

╰┈➤❝ [You were his best kept secret.] ❞

✎ MONKSHOOD - unwritten

╰┈➤❝ [Undetermined] ❞

IMAGE: Jean-Baptiste Monnoyer, Floral still life

FANART:

Platonic Simon & Platonic Price fic Doodles

I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform/A.I. program.

#cod masterlist #AWFP #platonic #cod simon ghost riley #cod simon riley #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #cod x reader #x female reader #call of duty x you #cod x you #cod #cod mw22 #mw2 #cod x female reader #x fem!reader #female reader

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nova-dracomon · 5 months

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My Gender is [NOT] Human Zine is Now Accepting Submissions!

Xenogender: A gender that cannot be contained by human understandings of gender; more concerned with crafting other methods of gender categorization and hierarchy such as those relating to animals, plants, or other creatures/things.

This zine will be a collection of artwork, writing and more created by alterhumans and nonhumans to express both their species identity, gender, and how they intersect. While this zine will have an xenogender slant, everyone who has something to share about how their species and gender overlap are encouraged to submit pieces! Similarly, if you are currently questioning, you are still welcome to participate. Anonymous submissions are accepted.

What Can I Submit?

Both fiction and nonfiction pieces are accepted. As long as what you have in mind fits the theme, it’ll probably be a-ok.

Off the top of our head, we’re thinking of:

Essays of your personal experiences

Short stories

Poetry

Advice columns

Artwork

Fictional advertisements

Comics

Mock interviews

This is far from an exhaustive list, we welcome you to think outside the box!

How to Participate

Please email your completed submission to ruffledgryphon(@)gmail(.)com and title the email “My Gender is Not Human Zine Submission.” Also make sure to include the following information in your email:

A name you would like the piece attributed to

Title of your submission

Any content warnings that you feel are necessary for the piece

Any social media handle or personal website you’d like listed in the contributor section

A logo or icon for the contributor section

**If you would like to stay anonymous please let us know

Members of systems are welcome to submit individually or collectively. Please let us know your preference when it comes to attribution.

Once the deadline has passed, the submissions will be crafted together into a single zine and it will be posted on our itch.io as a free PDF.

Submissions are due by May 1, 2024.

Our itch.io: https://ruffledgryphon.itch.io/

Submission Guidelines

Each individual may submit up to 3 works to be featured in My Gender is [NOT] Human. Comics and multi-image works count as one piece. Individuals within a system may each submit up to 3 works. All work must be your own! Anyone caught plagiarizing or submitting AI-generated work will be barred from entering My Gender is [NOT] Human and any future zines from us.

Written submissions should not exceed 30 pages and multi-part art entries should not exceed 10 pages. Please keep in mind the zine’s pages will be 8.5x11 and entries will be scaled accordingly to fit that size. We request all art submissions to be sent in either .jpg or .png file formats.

For stories that use multiple different fonts, we will do our best to preserve the general “feel” of your piece but cannot guarantee we will be able to use the exact fonts or sizes due to restrictions in what fonts we have access to, readability and overarching zine style.

Submissions must fit the thematic criteria of

About the intersection of gender and species identities

If you’re not sure if you count, feel free to reach out to us. However, we will be leaning on the side of “Yes! We’d love to hear from you!”

FAQ

Q: Where will the zine be hosted? What will it cost? A: The zine will be hosted digitally on our itch.io and will be free to download. Our itch.io can be found here: https://ruffledgryphon.itch.io/

Q: Is there a cap on submissions? A: There is none, as long as the file doesn’t start getting too big for our computer we’ll do our best! If there are an unprecedented amount of submissions, we may have to delay the release. In the event that happens, we would communicate that through updates on our tumblr.

Q: Can I update my application after it’s been submitted? A: Yes you may, as long as that is communicated to us before the submission deadline.

Q: Can I rescind my submission? A: Yes you may, as long as that is communicated to us before the submission deadline. This is because once we begin work on the zine, having to remove content mid-way through would throw off the formatting of everything else after. Please take this into account before submitting.

Q: Will this zine allow NSFW entries? A: No, nothing 18+ will be accepted.

Q: What is your timeline for the project? A: Our submission deadline is May 1, 2024. We are then planning to spend the next month compiling all of the entries. Our goal is to have the zine live by June 1, 2024. If something unforeseen happens and we are unable to make that deadline, we will post an update about it on our tumblr.

Q: I have another question! A: Feel free to reach out to us at our email ruffledgryphon(@)gmail(.)com or here on tumblr with any other questions you have about the zine.

#My Gender is Not Human Zine #otherkin #therian #fictionkin #alterhuman #nonhuman #xenogender #nova squawks

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lastoneout · 6 months

Note

Okay, honest question, who is Yotsuba?

OH HO HO ANON I AM ALL TOO HAPPY TO EXPLAIN :3

Yotsuba is a character from the greatest manga ever made, Yotsuba&!(or Yotsuba to! it translates weird, most fans just call it Yotsuba) which is a comedy slice-of-life manga about Yotsuba Koiwai, a five year old girl, and her very strange yet wholesome family and friends!

It's from the same mangaka who gave us Azumanga Daioh, though while that manga is told in a four-panel comic style and doesn't really have much of an overarching plot, Youtsuba is done in a traditional manga style and despite also being very episodic there is a bit of a throughline surrounding Youtsuba getting settled into the neighborhood she just moved to, growing up, and eventually, in the later chapters, getting ready to go to school for the first time. Also, there are storylines that take place over multiple chapters as well! Despite the fact that the manga has been releasing since 2003, the chapters are pretty sporadic and the comic has only really covered about one year of the character's lives, but it never really feels slow or aimless. It feels almost...timeless? I guess. It's really nice.

Anyway, the manga is legit one of the most wholesome, funny, heartwarming things I have ever read. Kiyohiko Azuma is a fucking MASTER of comedy(you may have seen screencaps from a Sailor Moon fan comic he made going around on tumblr in which Jupiter accidentally sends Venus shooting across a pool that made me laugh so hard I cried) and he balances it well with lots of slow moments with GORGEOUS artwork where you can really take in the scenery and all of it is seeped in a wonderful nostalgia for childhood that legit makes me super emotional.

I don't think the manga has ever really taken off in terms of popularity, at least not to the degree that it deserves imo, which is likely in part due to the creator being firm about it never getting an anime adaptation and the sporadic release schedule, but it's far from unknown. There's been an official(I think??) score released and plenty of figurines and merch. It's also birthed a lot of memes, and it def has the same issue as One Piece where if you read it and love it you will turn into a walking billboard and try to drag your friends and family in with you. It's just THAT good!

You may have seen art of or people cosplaying Danbo, a "robot" made of old cardboard boxes that Yotsuba adores (Totally a real robot btw, def doesn't have a middle schooler shoved inside there, that would be silly wdym /s)

And this pose from the back of one of the manga volumes featuring Yotsuba, her father, and their extremely tall friend Jumbo has been redrawn with other characters like 500000 billion times

And you've also probably seen this going around tumblr before (that's Fūka she's my favorite cringe fail daughter I would literally die for her).

Also, I would be doing a disservice if I didn't mention Yanda, who is a friend of Yotsuba's dad and also Yotsuba's nemesis. He's a loser who constantly gets dunked on by a toddler it's fucking hilarious.

But yeah it really is just like, a manga that feels like a hug, or a warm blanket or something, it's so comforting and funny and fantastic, I find myself re-reading it any time life gets to be too hard just bcs it's that good at distracting me and reminding me that live is worth living.

And also given that it's literally my favorite manga, I saved up a bunch of screencaps to use as reaction images after a read one time, and thus now it's my own little joke that if you send me anon hate I'm just gonna send you back a picture of this cutie

Bcs come on how can you be angry when you're looking at this???

Anyway here's some screencaps of the main supporting cast bcs I love all of them so much <3

YOU WILL READ YOTSUBA I AM NO LONGER ASKING

#Ask #Anonymous #long post #sorry anon you hit the yotsuba button #I am legally obligated to gush about it #yotsuba #yotsuba&!

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scoonsalicious · 6 days

Text

Unwanted: Chapter 27, Unhinged - Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, gratuitous Hamlet 2 reference, mention of masturbation, descriptions of violence, death, full on crazy.

Word Count: 1.4k

Previously On...: Nat sent you and Bucky some Hydra security footage she was able to get from her old KGB contacts. You're in for a wild ride.

A/N: THE MADNESS!

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

There was no real rhyme or reason to the footage, no overarching narrative that tied the clips together. They were just short, interspersed segments, with no sound, from different camera angles within the Hydra base. The base was probably operating underground; the harsh fluorescent lights acting as the only source of illumination, which made it impossible to determine time of day.

Most of the clips were mundane– shots of a younger version of Jade Carthage training in weapons and combat, eating with the base’s other operatives, sitting in some sort of school room and seemingly being made to recite information. One thing was clear– the girl was not the tortured prisoner she’d led Nick Fury to believe.

You and Bucky watched clips as Jade got older, her training more intense. The scientists at the base put her through extensive endurance testing but, upon completing them, she always looked happy, as though glad to have pleased her keepers with her results. Periodically, an older man in a suit would be seen in the footage. He appeared to be a higher up in Hydra’s hierarchy– the other occupants of the base deferred to him as though he was someone of importance.

“I know that guy,” Bucky said the first time the footage showed a clear image of the man’s face. “Not his name or anything like that, but I remember seeing him with Alexander Pierce.”

You reached up to hold the hand that Bucky still kept on your shoulder, squeezing it in support. “You okay to go on with this?” you asked, knowing that Pierce, as the man who had commanded him to kill Tony’s parents, among others, was a shadow that still loomed large over Bucky’s psyche.

He swallowed. “Yeah. I’m good.”

The two of you kept watching as Suit Man came to observe Carthage, bringing her gifts and acting almost… parental toward the girl. It was disconcerting to watch him gently stroke her hair or offer her a hug, knowing the kind of man he must be, if he was working so high up within Hydra.

“What’s that?” you asked, rewinding the clip and enlarging it over a folder that Suit Man had handed to Carthage. “Holy shit,” you said, once you’d made out the face on the photo attached to the front of the file. “Buck, that’s you.”

Bucky leaned forward, squinting at your screen. “How can you tell, doll?” he asked. “It just looks like a bunch of pixels.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “I’ve stared at your face long and hard enough to recognize it anywhere, Barnes,” you told him. “Whatever’s in that file, it’s about you.”

Bucky gave you a look you couldn’t quite unpack. “Keep playing it,” he said after a moment.

You zoomed out and resumed the footage. Over time, Suit Man would bring Carthage more files. She would continue her training, follow her same routine. You were nearly nodding off with the monotony of it when something changed. A new camera angle appeared in the footage, this one seeming to be of Carthage’s quarters within the base, and you were surprised by just how… normal they were. She had a four poster bed, a vanity, bookshelves– it was a typical room for a young woman. The only thing that looked remotely out of place were the photos on the walls. Once again, you paused the video so you could enlarge the image.

The walls were covered in seemingly hundreds of photos of Bucky.

“Holy shit,” you whispered.

“Are those… are those all me?” Bucky asked as you dragged the image around your screen, wanting to see every available corner of her space.

“Yes,” you said. “They… these all look like surveillance shots. Why do you look like Jesus in this picture?” you asked him, squinting as you pointed to one where he was wearing robes and standing by a river, his long hair tied half-up in the back of his head.

“Shit, that’s from when I was in Wakanda,” Bucky exhaled. “How the fuck would Hydra get shots of me there?”

You leaned back. “Well. Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus,” you said under your breath.

“We just discovered that Hydra somehow found a way to spy on me in the most technologically secretive nation on the planet, and that’s your takeaway?” Bucky asked.

“I’m neither blind, nor a nun, Barnes,” you replied before zooming out and starting the footage once again. “Though, with a Savior that looked like that, I’d gladly devote the rest of my life to serving the Faith.”

“Pretty sure that’s blasphemy,” he said, though you could hear the shy smile in his voice, and you just knew he was blushing at the compliment. “I don’t understand, though. If I’m her target, why’s she hanging my pictures on her wall?”

You squinted your eyes as the Carthage in the footage drew a heart around one of Bucky’s headshots with what appeared to be lipstick. “I think…” you began, an idea coming to you, “I think they’re manufacturing infatuation.” You bit your lip in consideration. “If there’s one thing on this planet with more obsessive, singular focus on a target than a Hydra-trained assassin, it’s a teenage girl with a crush. They’re making sure she’s got the concentration of both.” You watched with sick fascination as Carthage took the photo she’d drawn the heart on, and bringing it over to her bed, appeared to be talking to it as she crawled under the covers.

“Oh, shit,” you said with realization. “We should skip over this part.”

“Why?” Bucky asked, clueless to what you knew was coming. “What’s going on?”

“If I am not mistaken,” you said, as Carthage held the photo to her chest before slipping a hand under her blanket, “she’s about to start masturbating to that photo of you.”

“Jesus fuck!” Bucky exclaimed. “Fast forward, Pocket! Fast forward!”

You skipped the video to the next time stamp, trying and failing to control your laughter. It wasn’t that you were laughing at Carthage– this was a gross violation of a private moment, and no one, not even her, deserved that; no, you were laughing at how horrifically uncomfortable it seemed to make Bucky.

“Come on, Barnes,” you said, getting yourself together, “you’ve already fucked the girl twice. Now you’re suddenly shy about watching her cum?”

You felt Bucky stiffen behind you, and you felt bad… momentarily, but he didn’t acknowledge your comment, so you kept watching the footage, until there were only a few minutes left. Suit Man returned and after a few moments, said something to Carthage that had her jumping for what appeared to be joy and throwing her arms around the man.

“Something’s about to happen,” you muttered, eyes glued to the screen. And then… shit hit the fan.

You and Bucky watched in horror as Suit Man handed Carthage a pair of guns, and the two moved systematically through the base, with Carthage slaughtering every operative in their path.

“What the hell?” Bucky whispered.

“No other survivors,” you said, recalling the words from her bio sheet all those months ago. “They’re selling her story. Making it look like she escaped. Jesus Christ. She lived with these people for years. She’s fucking insane.”

Carthage was pumping so many bullets into the agents at the base that she quickly ran out. From there, it was like she just snapped– beating the others to death with anything she could get her hands on. And if there was nothing readily available, she used her bare hands. “Fuck,” you muttered, feeling the urge to vomit. You turned your head, burying it into Bucky’s stomach as he stood behind you. “I can’t watch anymore. Tell me when it’s done,” you begged.

Bucky’s hand came up and rubbed comforting circles on your back. “Yeah, sweets,” he said, voice hollow, “I’ll let you know.”

After what seemed like absolutely far too long, you heard Bucky swallow, and he tapped you on your shoulder, indicating it was safe for you to look again. Turning back to the screen, you were disgusted to see Carthage absolutely covered in blood. The only thing you could think of was Carrie at the prom, but Carthage looked delighted with herself, the whites of her eyes and her blazing smile sitting in stark contrast to the dark lifeblood that coated her face. Together, she and Suit Man walked casually out of the last camera frame, as though she hadn’t just committed mass murder.

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