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#I just wanted to express how much your kind messages mean to me
giggly-squiggily · 6 months
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It's your birthday!? Omg I hope you have an amazing day!! Your posts always make me smile and I hope you get to smile just as big on your name day!
You have been and continue to be such a force for good and positivity in this community, thank you for all that you do! I hope you really take the time to celebrate yourself today, you deserve it 🥰
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Thank you all so much! I may have cried while reading all of these as you all are so, so sweet! Forgive me for grouping them all together- I'm a broken record when I get mushy so I'll spare y'all the deja vu hehe~
(Also death and grief mentioned beneath the cut but the summary of my mush is I appreciate you all so much. Thank you a hundred times over for making today and every year here feel special for me. <3)
This year has been a difficult one, especially these past few months after I lost my dad. I won't lie and say I wasn't dreading today because of that- I was scared I'd wake up and just wanna cry cause he's gone and I won't get to hear him say "Happy Birthday!" to me, you know? I also won't lie and say I didn't cry thinking about that (but it's my party and I'll cry if I want to, hehe. I make dumb jokes to cope.)
I'm okay though- and I'm coming to peace with it all. I just wanted to say that y'alls messages and gifs and overall loveliness has really helped me get through what I was dreading to be a difficult day. I can say with some comfort that thinking about my dad brings more happiness than tears now, and I know he wouldn't want me drowning in misery on my birthday, so I'm doing what he would want and making today a good one! Thank you all so much for helping me achieve that goal. I appreciate you all so very much.
Now- I shall go have ice cream cake in the dead of winter and rewatch the entirety of Spy x Family cause I'm what? Squiggily, hehe~ Thank you all so much again and keep being your incredible selves!
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dreamescapeswriting · 2 months
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The Protector ~ JJK
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WORD COUNT: 1.7K
GENRE: non!idol au, mafia boss!Jungkook, shy reader, first date, insta love, cute, 
PAIRING: Mafia!Jungkook X Fem!Reader
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - March 2024
⤜MASTERLIST
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In the dimly lit corner of a rundown bar, Jungkook, the notorious mafia boss of the city, sat perched on his usual stool, observing the evening's patrons with a keen eye. The air was thick with the scent of cheap liquor and the murmur of conversations that veered between laughter and tension. He'd only come here tonight after a deal gone wrong with one of his clients and he wanted to make himself feel better.
Jungkook nursed his whiskey, his gaze scanning the room, taking note of the faces and the subtle shifts in atmosphere. His reputation preceded him, ensuring that even in a place as rough as this, there was an unspoken deference in the air. Amidst the usual crowd, a scene caught his attention. 
You were sitting alone at a table, your demeanour timid and your eyes darting nervously around the room, clearly you weren't comfortable in a place like this and people could see it clearly as day. Opposite you stood a man, clearly inebriated, his boisterous laughter ringing through the bar. He leaned in too close, his words slurred as he attempted to coax the girl into drinking with him.
Junkook's lip curled in distaste, he didn't need to be close to knowing that the guy was making you uncomfortable, he could read the expression on your face from where he was sitting. Jungkook wasn't one to meddle in the affairs of strangers, but something about the situation didn't sit right with him. You seemed extremely uncomfortable, your body language tense as you awkwardly refused the man's advances.
"Boss? Cat got your tongue?" Benny, one of Jungkook's associates, asked as he sat down beside him. Jungkook narrowed his eyes in your direction and Benny followed his line of gaze, standing up when he realised what his boss wanted. He smoothly began to make his way across the room, positioning himself nearby, ready to intervene if needed.
Meanwhile, Jungkook continued to watch from his vantage point, his eyes narrowed as he assessed the unfolding situation. The man's persistence bordered on aggression, his demeanour growing increasingly threatening as you continued to resist his advances.
"Just have a drink with me doll face, you'll not regret it," He chuckled, leaning in closer to you, his breath heavy with the scent of vodka as he smirked down at you. You didn't know how many times you had to decline the creep before he finally got the message but it was starting to get under your skin.
"Come on, sweetheart, loosen up a bit! What's the matter, afraid of a little fun?" You nervously shifted in your seat and shook your head. 
"I-I'm fine, really. I don't drink much." You explained, not that you needed to. Your decline should have been more than enough for him to leave you alone.
"Aw, don't tell me you're one of those goody-two-shoes types. Live a little! You're missing out on all the excitement." He said condescendingly with a giant smile on his face, you forced a fake smile out.
"I-I'm okay, honestly. I just prefer not to drink." You shrugged at him but the man just raised his eyebrow mockingly at you.
"Prefer not to drink? Ha! What are you, some kind of saint? Or are you just too scared to handle your liquor?" You looked down at your hands, nervously starting to play with the skin around your nails,
"N-no, it's not that. I just... I don't like the taste, that's all." You mumbled,
"Well, if you're too delicate for a little drink, maybe you should stick to your tea parties, princess. Leave the real fun to us grown-ups." You bit down on your lip, wanting nothing more than to get up and leave but he was blocking you in. 
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I just... I'm not comfortable drinking." By now Jungkook was already standing behind the man, staring down at him as he laughed at you, the discomfort on your face only growing as you stared at him.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Jungkook said simply, the man who had been bothering you, spinning around so fast to see who had been the one to interrupt him. The man's eyes widened in recognition, a flicker of fear crossing his face as he realized who stood before him.
"Problem here?" Jungkook's voice was low, but it carried a weight that brooked no argument. You stared at him wondering why he was coming to help you of all people, you knew who he was, of course, everybody did. The man who had been bothering you stammered, his bravado faltering in the face of Jungkook's steely gaze. 
"N-no, boss, just... just having a friendly chat with the lady here." Jungkook turned his attention to you, his expression softening slightly as he offered you a reassuring smile. 
"Everything okay, sweetheart?" Tingles ran through you at the nickname and you smiled a little, nodding your head, relief washing over you as you found yourself under his protective gaze.
"Y-yes, thank you. I... I just wanted to be left alone." You told him simply, Jungkook nodded, his gaze returning to the man who had been upsetting you,
"I suggest you do as the lady wishes and leave her be. We wouldn't want any... misunderstandings, would we?" His hand tightened on the man's shoulder and he paled, nodding frantically as he began to stumble away from the table, eager to put a distance between him and Jungkook.
Once the man was gone Jungkook turned his attention back to you and gave you a soft and gentle smile. 
"You're safe now. Can I buy you a drink? Non-Alcohol of course," He suggested, you hesitated for a moment before nodding, a shy smile tugging on the corners of your lips.
"I... I'd like that."
When Jungkook came back over with a drink you found yourselves alone, people staring in silence from across the bar and you stared down at the glass of water trying to think of what to say to him.
"So, what's your name?" He chuckled, trying to break the ice, even a little, you nervously played with the rim of your glass.
"It's YN." He nodded at you.
"Nice to meet you, Yn. I'm Jungkook." You managed a small smile, feeling surprisingly at ease in his presence despite his intimidating reputation.
"Thank you for, you know, helping me back there. I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't stepped in." Jungkook shrugged at you, 
"No need to thank me. Just doing what's right. That guy was bad news."
"Yeah, he definitely was." A moment of silence passed between you both before Jungkook decided to break the ice further.
"So, what brings you to a place like this, Yn? You seem like you'd be more comfortable in a library than a bar." You laughed softly, grateful for Jungkook's attempt to lighten the mood.
"I... I actually work nearby. I just wanted to unwind a bit after a long day." You admit, shrugging your shoulders.
"My co-workers talk about this place all the time, I thought it might be nice." You admit though you weren't exactly sure "nice" would be the word you would use to describe it
"I understand that. It can be tough out there. I hope he didn't ruin your night though,"
"It seems to be picking up," You giggled, your cheeks heating up as you realised you were openly flirting with him. 
"Then I'm glad I could help," He smirks at you.
As you talked, Jungkook found himself intrigued by your quiet strength and resilience. Despite your shyness, there was a certain warmth to you that drew him in. And you, in turn, found yourself opening up to him in a way you hadn't expected, feeling a sense of comfort and safety in his presence. The conversation flowed easily, ranging from lighthearted topics to deeper reflections on life and the challenges you faced. As the evening wore on, you discovered a connection neither of you had anticipated, forging an unlikely bond over glasses of water and whiskey in a dingy bar, where you found solace in each other's company amidst the chaos of the world outside.
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As they drove through the quiet streets, a comfortable silence settled between you both, broken only by the soft hum of the engine. Jungkook had insisted on driving you home that night after spending so much time together and the closer he got to your place the more he realised he wanted to see you again. You arrived at your apartment building, Jungkook parked the car and turned to you with a warm smile.
"Here we are. Safe and sound." You nodded, offering him a grateful smile in return as you unbuckled your seatbelt and got out of the car, swiftly followed by Jungkook.
"Thank you for the ride, Jungkook. And for everything else tonight. I really appreciate it." Nodding at you he smiled again, watching you closely as he tried to come up with a way to approach you about seeing you again.
"Anytime, Yn. You know where to find me if you ever need anything." Before you could open the door to your apartment, Jungkook reached out to gently touch your arm, causing you to look up at him in surprise.
"Can I say something?" His palms were sweating as he stuttered a little, no one had ever made him this nervous before and he didn't know if he liked that about you or not. Your heart skipped a beat as you met his gaze, a hint of nervousness flickering in your eyes.
"Y-yes, Jungkook? What is it?" Jungkook took a deep breath, gathering his courage before speaking, he needed to ask you before he lost the courage.
"I... I had a really great time tonight. And I was wondering if... if you'd like to go out with me again sometime?" Your eyes widened in surprise, heat creeping into your cheeks at Jungkook's unexpected question. It was something you'd been thinking about in the car too but you never would have been able to ask him out. You couldn't help but feel a flutter of excitement at the thought of seeing him again.
"I-I would love to. That sounds... that sounds wonderful." You giggled a little as Jungkook's face broke into a relieved smile, his heart skipping at your response. He leaned in closer, his hand gently cupping your cheek as he pressed a soft kiss to your lips.
"Great. I'll pick you up then. I'll see you soon." Your heart raced as you watched him drive away, a smile playing on your lips as you realized that sometimes, unexpected encounters could lead to the most extraordinary connections.
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greg-montgomery · 3 months
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Texting bf's dad hotch by accident when you're drunk and trying to get your bf to pick you up...
this idea >>>>
also aaron has another son besides jack in this
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
They were just a few margaritas. You didn’t expect a casual girl’s night to turn into a pounding headache and a room that was spinning around you.
It was fun and your friends wanted to stay longer, but your upset stomach would not let you enjoy the rest of your night. You were more than ready to get out of there.
“I’m gonna ask my boyfriend to come pick me up,” you told your friends, who seemed a bit too drunk to process your words.
As carefully as you could, you made your way outside the bar, and took your phone out of your purse. Going through your contacts you stopped when you spotted your boyfriend’s name.
‘Babe can you come and pick me up? I can’t drive’
You hit send, and right after, you shared your location with him.
‘I’ll be there in 20.’
Oh.
That was it? No whining? No scolding you for drinking too much? No complaining about you being an inconvenience?
It was a full moon; maybe he was going through some kind of transformation.
You closed your eyes for a bit and rested your head against the wall. The minutes would simply not pass fast enough. I’m never drinking again, you thought.
Your phone buzzed in your hands and a new message flashed across the screen.
‘I’m here.’
You were ready to lift your head and search for his car, but your eyes were glued on the contact name that appeared above the text you had just received.
It didn’t say Mark. It said Mark’s dad.
No way, you thought. No way, I asked Aaron Hotchner to come pick me up from a bar because I’m wasted.
But that was exactly what you had done.
The word embarrassment didn’t even begin to cover the range of emotions you were feeling at that moment; especially as you watched him get out of his car and walking towards you.
Why did he have to look so good? As if drunk texting him wasn’t embarrassing enough, he had to look like a god in a suit that cost more than your monthly rent.
‘Mr. Hotchner,” you said, when he approached you. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to text you. I wanted to text Mark, but I got confused and God…I’m so, so dizzy.”
 His expression stayed serious, but he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Let’s get in the car.”
Aaron opened the door for you and held your hand so you could get inside. You expected him to close the door but instead he leaned over you and fastened your seatbelt for you.
Your heart started jumping around at the smell of his cologne and the feeling of his face so close to yours. You weren’t proud of it, but Aaron Hotchner was your forbidden desire. And the star of more dirty dreams than you’d ever dare to admit.
His thick fingers brushed against your stomach as he made sure that your seatbelt was tight enough to keep you safe.
You shut your eyes and took a deep breath trying to calm your body down.
“Are you alright?” he asked, softly.
His deep voice was the cherry on top that had you melting on your seat.
“Yeah,” you answered weakly. “Just dizzy.”
He closed the door and made his way to the other side, and soon he was on the driver’s seat.
There was a small water bottle in the cup holder and he picked it up. “Here,” he offered, “Have some water. It’ll help.”
“Thank you,” you said taking it from his hands, and shivered at the contact when your fingers brushed.
The bottle was half empty which meant he already had some of it before you. He had wrapped his lips around it; around where your lips were now.
You devoured any water that was left and realized how bad you needed to get hydrated. “I needed that.”
“I can tell,” he laughed. “Come on,” he added, and started the car. “Let’s take you home.”
“Were you asleep?”
“Hm?””
“When I texted you. Did I wake you up?” you asked with a worried tone.
“I rarely sleep, honey. You don’t have to worry about me.”
You pressed your thighs together at the sound of the pet name and the sight of his hands around the wheel.
“Thank you for coming. I really appreciate it.”
“Of course,” he said. “You needed me.”
“I did,” you said, breathless. “Mark would…”
You paused.
“Go on.”
You hesitated. “He would have probably told me to call a cab.”
“He’d let his girl get in the car with a stranger in the middle of the night? When she’s drunk?”
“Sometimes he gets upset with things like that. And, listen, I get it. I can be trouble sometimes.”
“Oh you can be,” Aaron said. “But not for the reasons you think.”
“What do you mean?”
He ignored your question, but it didn’t take too long before he spoke again.
“I’m gonna have a word with him. He’s not treating you well.”
“No, please don’t.”
The only thing that talk would achieve would be Mark getting upset with you.
There was a long pause, and you took advantage of the silence to stare at him. His side profile, his hands, his arms. He was perfect.
‘I wish Mark was more like you,” you said before thinking any better.
“Sweetheart, you shouldn’t say things like that.”
“I could say way worse.”
He chuckled. “Unless you want both of us to get in trouble, don’t.”
“But-”
Aaron reached out to hold your hand, making you go quiet. “You’re drunk. But what I do want you to know is that I’m always here, okay?”
“Okay.”
He squeezed your hand and didn’t let go the entire ride home.
part 2
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chososdiscordkitten · 4 months
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MDNI
Pt 1 here
Pairing: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader Content: no use of y/n, SOME plot, read pt 1 for context, BREEDING KINK, PREGNANCY and BABY TRAPPING, unestablished relationship, reader has an iud that Gojo is NOT a fan of, manipulating, reader is a lil dumb lol, talk of birth control and hiding it, creampies 24/7, mentions of NURSING and BRESTFEEDING, 'wife' used like twice Word count: 3.3k
(a.n) I kept getting asked for pt 2 so here it is. more plot, not so much smut this time lol
⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆
It had been 3 months since Gojo came to the conclusion that pregnancy was the solution to his fear of you finding someone else. Seeing you come out of the bathroom, a bath towel wrapped around you as small droplets fell from your neck.
Looking at you bewildered as though this was the greatest disappointment he had ever felt. You were talking about something- something irrelevant to the issue at hand.
Why you weren't swelling with his child right now. Why you were denying him- the world of the next generation of Gojo babies. 
And it’s not like he could keep letting out those little ‘get pregnant’ comments while he fucked you, often contemplating asking you to gag him so they wouldn’t slip. You had your suspicions, not outwardly saying it but if one more little comment fell from him you'd be forced to ask.
Satoru was sure that your medical state wasn't an issue, he carefully combed through your medical records to find any sort of reason as to why you weren't pregnant. One appointment 3 years ago for an iud insertion, and one appointment to get it removed a few weeks after you met him. 
And it's not like he was the issue here, he made sure he was fine in that aspect. Gojo was sure he was fine- and you had no issues with getting pregnant.
So, the solution to his fear needed a solution too. No problem, this just meant he had to fuck you even more now. More often, and even move you into his apartment. Permanently.
He was hung up in his own little world as his eyes burned holes through your damp skin. “Are you okay?” you asked, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. 
Gojo quickly fixed his face as he looked at you with a smile, “M’just thinking about havin you move into my place.” He hummed, folding his arms to rest beneath his head. Eyes following your expression as you waited for him to continue, “You're already here all the time~” he hummed, you raised your eyebrows in defense.
“That's because you can't keep your hands off of me for longer than an hour.” you laughed as he pursed his lips, feeling like he was being scolded in that moment. Knowing you meant it as a joke- but it was true.
No matter how many showers- how many breaks. Satoru was always ready to go again, and again, and again. Praying that this time will be the one. Gojo daydreamed of coming home to you, breasts swelled with milk to welcome his child into the world.
Glow on your skin and tummy growing his child. Twins, he'd fantasize. “We should just get married while we're at it.” he’d joke, knowing if he kept bringing it up, you'd cave. Knowing you weren't the kind of person to co-parent. 
But those daydreams were always cut short. Whenever he'd message you saying he wanted to see you, only for you to tell him you were on your period.
We all know that never stopped him, but the disappointment knowing his attempts were in vain, always made him try even harder next time. 
And yes you did question his constant need to fuck you, at times fully skipping prep and pushing into you- knowing you didn’t really need it since you had cleaned yourself up from the last round not to long ago.
How he'd bite his tongue whenever you'd ask him to cum inside. And I mean lets be real, when has Gojo ever bit his tongue during sex?
All but telling you to ‘shut up’ when you’d whisper in his ear, “Fill me up-” knowing if you didn't, he'd start babbling words that had been boxed up at the back of i his mind. 
That one time Gojo let them slip, the sight of your cunt swallowing his cock greedily, the words pushed themselves past his lips forcefully.
“Get pregnant” he demanded of you, only you didn't listen. You found it an odd thing to say- sure. But knowing him, he’s said worse things in the heat of the moment.
You always chalked up Satoru’s babbles before he came as meaningless words, knowing you shouldn't hold him to the promises and threats he'd make before he came.
Gojo’s made empty proposals into your ears before, “S-so good, m-” he hesitated, a low whine leaving his lips by just thinking about what he was about to say, “-marry me hm?~” he’d whisper as he overstimulated your senses.
Making sure you kept your eyes open to look at him, taking in the desperate sight of his forming ‘o’ face. Ears being fully invaded by the vulgar squelching from his hips slapping against the back of your thighs, and his unforgiving whines and moans.
Both of your hands gripping tightly on his back, knowing you'd leave raised marks on his skin. So caught up in your own orgasm you'd say ‘yes’ to any of his questions right now. 
And there was nothing Satoru liked more than asking you questions when you were close to cumming, fully taking advantage of you not being able to think straight.
Even if you had just gotten out of the shower, freshly cleaned from the last round. He'd still toss that useless towel off of you and go again, making sure to keep you on the edge- not fully giving in to your pleads and you urging him to hurry up.
Relishing in the idea that round after round, unable to count just how many times he's cum inside of you that weekend- you're still up for more. 
“You wanna go get tested together?” he asked you randomly one morning, making you look at him with furrowed eyes.
“Do I have to get tested?” you asked, unknowing that he had other sexual partners. Satoru let out a small laugh at your accusatory tone.
“No.” he smiled playfully, “I just thought it would be fun.” He hummed. And as he requested, you and him ended up in a clinic. Getting tested for any diseases or any issues.
And Gojo insisted he stay in the room as the nurse asked you the embarrassing questions. Sitting on the uncomfortable exam table, fiddling with your thumbs and thinking of how stupid it was to do this after months of having unprotected sex.
Looking over at Satoru and seeing a smile on his lips as you heard the paper wrinkle below you.
“Are you sexually active?” the overworked nurse flashed her eyes to you above the clipboard. You sighed, “Yes.” Looking over at his smug smile. 
“What kind? Oral, vaginal, anal?” she asked, looking at you. This would've been fine if it was just you and the nurse, but having Gojo in the room with you made this even more humiliating.
“Uh-” you hesitated, eyes flashing to Satoru and back to the nurse. “...All?” you hesitated, shrinking in your seat when you heard her check three boxes with the pen in her hand. 
“How many people have you had sex with in the past six months?” she asked nonchalantly, obviously having bigger issues in the world than what was happening in this room right now.
“One.” you answered, making Gojo’s chest swell with pride, knowing you were being faithful- even if there wasn't a label on what he was to you.
“In the last 12 months?” the nurse asked, you sighed, looking over at his smug face. “One.” your tone was a little more stern, knowing if you had said anything else this would've ended in a very different way.
“Are you or your partner trying to get pregnant?” the nurse flashed her eyes to Gojo, seeing him mouth a quiet ‘yes’ 
“No.” you answered, making the nurse look back at you and check no on the clipboard. 
“Are you or your partner using contraceptives or birth control?” the nurse exhaled, your hands between your knees, ‘no’ Satoru answered the question mentally.
“Yes.” you answered honestly, making him furrow his eyebrows and snap his eyes to you. You looked at him, turning your head as though you were asking him ‘what?’ 
“What kind?” the nurse asked, looking at you directly.
“I've had an iud for 3 years.” you looked back at her, hearing her write down on the paper. Satoru’s mind started remembering the online records he read, he was so sure he saw an appointment for a removal on them.
“Any plans on removal, or renewing?” she asked, side eyeing Gojo who muttered a quiet ‘yes’
“No.” you scoffed, looking at the nurse thinking he was just trying to be funny, “I had an appointment for removal- but I didn't go.” you admitted, looking over at Gojo who was suddenly sitting very stiff.
“Okay-” the nurse started, clipping the pen into her pocket and taking a step back towards the door- “The doctor will be in soon.” The nurse gave a fake smile before stepping out of the small examination room. 
A soul killing silence was in the room, mentally Gojo was scolding you for not telling him.
“Why didn't you get ‘it’ removed?” referring to the pesky little thing inside of you, you furrowed your eyebrows.
You tried remembering why you didnt go, “Hmm,” you pondered, looking at him, seeing an opportunity to lighten the heavy tension in the room. “I met you and somehow I knew I'd need it.” you joked, making him let out a sarcastic laugh.
“Besides, you didn't really think I was letting you finish inside of me without birth control…Right?” you asked, raising your eyebrows. 
That's exactly what Gojo thought, he thought that you loved him enough to not care about the repercussions that followed his addiction of cumming inside of you.
Satoru was silent, “Right?” you asked again, throwing him from his train of thought.
He stuttered, “I-I just don't remember you mentioning it.” he gave you a half smile, already plotting how he'd convince you to remove it.
“You never asked.” you scoffed, dangling your feet from the examining table, with a smile you looked at him. “And it's a good thing-” you huffed, “If I didn't have it- your apartment would be crawling with a bunch of Gojo toddlers.” You joked with a laugh. 
The thought made his heart crack, picturing all of the wasted cum he's pumped into you. His pouting lip for the rest of the appointment worried you, not hearing anymore dumb comments or seeing him smile anymore. In your mind, you thought that maybe he didn't like that you hid this from him.
That to his sensitive feelings, this was a sort of betrayal. To Satoru this was just another hurdle he'd have to jump over to achieve his goal. 
On the drive back to his place you held onto the negative tests from both of you. Gojo was thinking of all the ways he'd be able to convince you to remove it, even thinking about including Mei in his plans. Knowing if the words came from another woman, you'd hear them more clearly than if they came from him.
All it would take was a few bucks and she’d play along with his plans, yeah. That's a good idea. 
He wanted to call Mei right there as he was driving, urging her to call you and tell you how bad iud’s were for your health. But he knew this idea would have to be nursed in your mind with time. ‘1? No, 2 months is more than enough time.’  
Eventually you were convinced that iud’s were the devil, with Mei telling you horror stories about them in one ear, and ads on your phone showing birth control pills as an alternative from how much you were speaking about this.
You knew that Satoru wouldn't go back to using condoms, the conversation of asking him to use them would be futile. 
So you got it removed, with Gojo telling you that it's for the best. “That poor little thing was probably working overtime heh~” he’d whisper into your ear. Taking one pill a day was tedious, but you did it for your own health.
Even if Satoru joked that- “You don't even need any birth control~” you still took it. Everyday for the first month.
Of course, Gojo was elated at his success. Knowing that the small pack of pills were easier to hide than something that was inside of you.
And with staying at his place more often than not- leaving the pack of pills in your bag became an unsecure hiding place. Oftentimes finding the pack in odd places that you certainly did not put them. When you wouldn't be able to find them, you'd ask him if he's seen them. Making him nod his head ‘no’ with a content smile. 
Ultimately leading you to miss one or two days of taking the pill. And that led you to forgetting if you had taken a pill that day or not, but checking the pack, and seeing there was one missing from that day, you knew you did. Unknowing that Satoru was punching out the small pill and tossing it, knowing how forgetful you were at times.
The hopes of you being forgetful weren't the only thing he was counting on. Satoru made sure to keep a steady routine of intercourse after any activity.
Breakfast? He'd push you against the counter and kiss you- humming into your mouth before pulling away. “You taste like syrup-” he whispered against you. Making you let out a small giggle before connecting your lips to his once more.
Not caring if the half eaten pancakes would go cold, Satoru would gladly empty himself into you over and over again on the same counter he was just making breakfast on.
Morning, noon, and night he filled you up. And it's not like you had any second thoughts, besides it's like Satoru justified it.
“It just takes a little bit of water nd soap and you're clean again.” whenever you told him you didn't want to make a mess. Saying that sheets can be cleaned whenever he’d dirty them.
“Mops exist.” he’d defend whenever his seed would spill out of you and land on the floor. 
If he was being honest, just knowing his cum was being spilled made his soul cry. So he found a solution to this problem. Cockwarming. It was perfect in his mind, being able to stay inside of you till he was sure his load had more than enough time to impregnate you. Now having a fondness for keeping you plugged up afterwards.
Not letting you clean up by saying, “Let's just stay like this.” he’d hum in your ear, holding you close as he pretended to go to sleep. And knowing how stubborn he was- like a perfect future wife, you'd let him. 
As much as he liked to take all the credit, fate finally granted him his wish. And it was as he pictured it. 
Satoru noticed a shimmering glow on your cheekbones long before you did, he felt the difference in the way your breasts filled his hands.
The way you'd cover your nose whenever you smelled something he didn't notice. The random mornings you wake up and run straight to the bathroom.
The mere image of you potentially being pregnant made Gojo want to pull you under him again. He would never admit it to you- but the idea of your breasts full of milk, so full that they'd leak- it drove him mad.
His mouth would suddenly feel very empty and dry anytime he thought of it. Trailing thoughts as he heard you speak, wondering if you'd ever let him taste it- ‘just to taste’ he’d think. Knowing damn well he'd keep asking for a taste over and over again. 
Satoru was so sure he could convince you to let him nurse on your breast. Picturing you complaining on how full they felt- how painful it would be. Only for him to happily offer his assistance, “I just want to help,” he'd tell you.
And you being the perfect wife you are, you'd let him. Satoru relished the thought that you'd grant any of his wishes, no matter how filthy they were. Even thinking about it had him reeling for a taste- leading him to aimlessly suck on your breast harshly.
Wishing for something to come out prematurely, eyes rolling to the back of his head as you cradled his face in your lap, your other hand stroking his cock softly as you unknowingly played into his fantasies. 
On one weekend that Gojo was out of town, you picked up a test. Fearing the small changes happening in your own body. Placing the small stick on the bathroom counter, hands held together almost in prayer, ‘pleasepleaseplease.’ you muttered to yourself.
Over consuming anxiety flooding your mind as you saw the blinking halt- ‘Pregnant’ the test read. You exhaled sharply, closing your eyes and feeling the world come crashing down on your shoulders.
Unbeknownst to Satoru, you thought this would be the last straw. Thinking he couldn't busy himself with a child, let alone have a child out of wedlock- not even in a relationship.
Not even sure about your own place in this world, now considering bringing a child into it. You thought up every single horrible scenario that could happen if you presented him with the stick. Not even recalling all the sweet words he'd tell you.
The ‘ I love you’s ‘ that came straight from his heart when he'd fuck you. All the joking futures he’d picture with you.
Somehow you saw him as every cruel man you met before him. Doubts of ‘if I was enough, he wouldn't just be a situationship.’ unfolding in your mind as you blame yourself for this accident.
You inhaled, remembering to not overthink. To not assume till you spoke to him. So you waited. You waited in his place, on his couch. The white and blue stick wrapped in a napkin as you clutched it in your pocket. Waiting for him to unlock the door and step through at any moment. 
You snapped your head to the moving doorknob, seeing him bust through the doorway with a happy smile. Seeing you as he pictured you all those times. Tear stained cheeks, shaky hands and pouting lips. Hurrying to you asking ‘whats wrong?’ 
“Sit.” you croaked, closing your eyes with a sigh as you felt him sit next to you. Pulling out your hand from your pocket, unwrapping the napkin and placing the stick on the table.
“I'm pregnant.” you whimpered, eyes tearing up as you saw his face go unchanged. The corner of his lips threatening to curl into a smile. “What do I do ‘toru? Tell me what to do.” a hot tear fell from your eye, fearing that he’d toss you aside with a few hundred dollars to take care of it. 
“Why’re you cryin?” he hummed, wrapping an arm around you. You let out a struggling breath.
“I just-” you inhaled, “I'm so scared.” you cried, pressing your face to his chest.
“Scared of what?” he scoffed, trying to sound sincere, fighting off the sinister smile that crept onto his face. Proud eyes staring directly to the blue and white plastic stick.
You pulled away from him, not being able to find the words to form the sentences. Satoru took your hands in his, looking into your eyes with all the feigned sincerity he could muster. 
“I will take care of you.” he started, caressing his thumb over your knuckles as you sniffled. Taking a hand from yours and pressing it to your tummy, “Both of you.” he said with a smile, making you halt your tears and look at him bewildered.
Not knowing why he looked so excited right now, why he looked… accomplished? Seeing that glimmer in his eye he only got when he triumphed.
-
.... I don't know what to say. im sowy this doesn't have as much smut. yes this is a Segway to me one day writing a lactation kink post, im just testing the waters hehe
⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆
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ln444 · 7 months
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dating lando. . .
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cw: mentions of sex, f!reader, fluff, slight smut.
notes: my first post 😭 i'm not very confident abt it but i hope you guys will like it! my requests are open so don't hesitate if you have any suggestions or just want to talk ! enjoy<3
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physical touch; i feel like lando would be incredibly touchy, even if it's just his hand on your thigh or sitting beside you with your shoulders touching. he simply needs to feel close to you every chance he gets. in public, he might dial back his affection slightly because he treasures those private moments, but that won't stop him from stealing sweet, discreet kisses when no one is watching or quietly holding your hand because he just can't keep his hands off you. in crowded places, he's the kind of person who instinctively puts his arm around your waist to ensure your safety. when it's just the two of you, lando can't help but be hands-on. he'll find any excuse to touch you, whether it's running his fingers through your hair or playing with your hands while you're chilling. he'll pull you closer every time you're beside him, or even have you on his lap while he's engrossed in some random pc game. kissing you is practically an obsession for him, and it's not limited to your lips. he adores exploring every inch of your skin, planting kisses on your neck, nose, cheeks, hands, and thighs. however, his absolute favorite place to kiss is still your lips. every kiss from lando feels as passionate and full of adoration as the first time, and he can never get enough of it.
quality time; he would definitely message you whenever he's available to spend time with you and invite you to hang out. he absolutely loves your company, even if it's just the two of you relaxing on the bed, watching entertaining videos and tiktoks, or having silly conversations. however, his favorite moments are when you embark on fun dates, like going to the arcade or go karting. his heart is full of joy from seeing you happy during these moments and he wants to tattoo every second of them into his memory. lando likes all types of dates because his primary desire is to share time with you. it might depend on his mood; sometimes he just wants to chill with you all day, staying in bed or playing games together. other times; he wants to venture out and go dance with you all night or go for a midnight swim. in the end, what really matters is that you are together.
words; in the early days of your relationship it was kinda hard for lando to express his feelings, he felt a bit uneasy because he was not used to vocalizing his feelings, he's more the type to keep everything for himself. but, with you, he learns surprisingly fast to talk about how he feels, both negative or positive emotions. you became his safe place. he would always praise you when he has the chance to even if it's for small random things, he would always remind you how much he's proud of you (and you do the same too ofc). even if this man loves teasing you, he also knows when to be serious and how to make you feel valued and loved. he uses a lot of nicknames like "angel", "love" or "sweetheart" because he knows how much you love them and how special it makes you feel. you were definitely the first one to say i love you, not that lando didn't want to say it but he was just too nervous to do it but since you did, he can't help but say it everyday.
sex; lando always makes sure you feel safe and comfortable when you're having sex. it doesn't mean that he doesn't like it rough tho, he absolutely loves having rough sex with you, even more when he's stressed or frustrated because of a race; hair pulling, spanking, face fucking, dirty talk... but always while making sure that you're okay. when it comes to vanilla sex, lando can become the softest man ever, he would whisper sweet things to you like; "that's my pretty girl", "i'm so lucky to have such a beautiful girl just for me", "you're doing so good angel", accompanied by gentle touches and kisses all over your body or when he's softly making love to you. his favorite thing is eating you out, he's literally obsessed with your pussy and will find any excuses to get a taste, even more when you ride his face while your eyes are locked with his.
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yellowcabdriver · 8 months
Text
desperate
pairing: yuuji itadori x f!reader
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genre: fluff
a/n: i quit my old soul-crushing job and i’m desperately trying to finish off all wips before i start my new job svdndjsj please enjoy 🙏🏻 live laugh lovesick yuuji 🫡💕 very shamelessly got inspired by this post
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nobara said yuuji shouldn’t call you.
“you don’t want her to think that you’re desperate, right?”
yeah, maybe.
but here’s a thing that a considerate friend that is nobara didn’t take into account.
yuuji is crazy about you and he is indeed very desperate for you and your attention. he is filled with joy and excitement whenever he hears your voice – it’s almost pavlovian, very embarrassing. or at least could be, if yuuji cared enough. his pride is a small price to pay to have a wonder that is you in his life.
but yuuji has to admit, maybe nobara is right. at the end of the day you two are not dating (yet, as yuuji very much hopes). you two are not even very close friends (yet, again, as yuuji hopes).
yuuji’s finger lingers over a call button under your name embezzled with a variety of heart emojis.
“at least text her before calling, you know, it’s kind of a new etiquette these days, not to call someone unannounced,” yuuji remembers nobara’s chastising. it makes yuuji hesitate. of course, he doesn’t want to seem like an ignorant bumpkin who isn’t aware of social cues. what if you’re busy? which you probably are because you are so smart and cool. and you are definitely a great texter (even if you weren’t, yuuji wouldn’t know any better because he is that much in love).
with a sigh, yuuji slides over to messages and starts typing rather pathetically “hiiii how are you???” while fighting the urge to add like a gazillion emojis to express himself better. nobara is really getting into his head, yuuji sighs. this is hard considering he is not exactly an overthinker (that would require having more than one thought and his only singular thought right now is you). a text is better than nothing, sure, but yuuji really really really needs to hear your voice. so he rushes back to his contacts and gathers every ounce of willpower to press on your name.
after almost painful eleven seconds you pick up. yuuji’s breathing hitches a little when he hears your sleepy “hello?”
he wants to throw himself from a window.
he forgot it’s almost 3 am.
“hi, um, hey. sorry, you’re asleep.”
what an absolute mess.
“well, not anymore,” you softly laugh. yuuji, though embarrassed, is so happy to hear your laughter.
“sorry.”
“it’s okay, yuuji. did something happen?”
well, kinda. obviously, yuuji’s not going to tell you that he’s just so down bad for you that he called you up in the middle of the night for no reason.
“no, nothing, i- i’m sorry, it’s nothing urgent, i better call you tomorrow.”
“are you sure? i mean, it’s…” he hears you scramble. “three in the morning. it has got to be an emergency.”
it is, just not a conventional one. yuuji violently shakes his head and then remembers that you can’t see him (why is he such a fool when it comes to you?)
“no, no, i’m sorry, i screwed up. i forgot that not everyone stays up late like me. go to sleep. sorry.”
“stop apologising, it’s all fine. okay, i’ll believe that there’s no emergency. but you better call me tomorrow to confirm that you’re okay.”
yuuji’s cheeks are burning.
“yeah, of course. sorry again.”
you laughed.
“good night, yuuji.”
“good night.”
yuuji’s fingers shake when he types the first message.
“sorry, i actually didn’t mean to call you.”
delivered.
yuuji’s eyes are not leaving the screen beaming brightly into his face.
read.
his palms are suddenly cold.
dot, dot, dot.
“it’s okay,” followed by a smiley emoji and a thumbs up. such a you thing to send. for a minute he contemplates going to sleep and maybe die from embarrassment in his sleep but something takes him over. before he can register it, his fingers start typing.
“fuck it”
delivered, read.
“i did mean to call”
delivered, read.
“i wanted to talk to you”
delivered, read.
“to hear your voice and your laugh”
delivered, read.
yuuji can physically feel the blood rushing away from his limbs when he sees three dancing dots.
“i want to hear your voice, too.”
yuuji’s head is spinning as he fights the urge to jump around the room while smiling at his phone like a madman. megumi and nobara for sure would be disgusted at this sight. he is so ecstatic that he almost misses the next message.
“ft?”
his long calloused fingers dance across the screen to quickly type “i’ll call you”.
he rushes to facetime.
you pick up almost instantly.
yuuji looks at your face, traces of sleep still present in your expression but he can see – and it makes his heart flutter – that you are genuinely happy to see him, too.
you both spent a few intimate moments staring at each other’s badly lit faces, glowing under the dim lights of your screens in the dark, until yuuji finally finds the courage to break the silence.
“so… did you sleep well?”
you quietly laugh and yuuji falls in love even harder though he thought it wasn’t possible. he can’t wait to tell the gang that being desperate pays off, and oh so well.
and what does nobara know anyway.
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elliesdoll · 2 months
Text
pt.2 to my angsty loser!ellie drabble 𝜗𝜚
nsfw! ellie gets caught and that’s literally it. i hate this so bad but it’s whateva
(part 3 will have lesbian gay lesbian boob vagina butt sex i promise. no more ellie masturbating)
find pt.1 here! & pt.3 here :3
daily click! don’t buy tlou free palestine
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after ellie’s pathetic masturbation sesh, she vowed to herself to fucking pull it together.
she wasn’t gonna let herself mope over you, because she knew you had an active sex life. she forced herself to be fine with it. to be fine with the people you decided to bring to your bed. she wanted to be near you without feeling this suffocating feeling of yearning and lust filling her insides.
and if that meant tucking her feelings to the deepest pits of hell, then so fucking be it.
a few weeks had passed since that little moment you and ellie had. the one where she had showed up to your house in the middle of you hooking up with someone.
the morning after, she has awoken to a string of texts from you, all apologizing for that awkward moment.
11:34pm
ellie i’m so sorry you had to see me like that. i didn’t mean to come off rude.
i wanted to go after you but i couldn’t really leave her alone in my house lol
els?
i’m really sorry. i hope u don’t think you can’t come to my house ever again ☹️ i actually thought it was sweet you showed up like that.
2:12am
goodnight ellie. i hope things aren’t awkward between us.
god, you made her feel awful. you were too fucking sweet to her. the way you never missed a single night when telling her goodnight, even after something like that. she rubbed her swollen face, mainly from crying, and typed a short message to you.
9:47am
hey, sorry for rushing away like that. idk why i did that lmfao
and things aren’t awkward at all, i shouldn’t have just showed up unnanounced
no els seriously! you should do that more often. tbh i wanted to hang out with you more than that girl… but yk i couldn’t 💔💔
she smiled at your kind text, glad that you two could just put it behind yourselves. her moment of relief was quickly replaced by disgust, when she saw the state of herself and her bed. her inner thighs sticky with dried cum, and her sheets below her still damp with all the extra release.
“gross..” she mumbled to herself, getting up and immediately throwing on some boxers and a tshirt, feeling way too vulnerable being naked like that. she went to the bathroom and cleaned herself up, then threw her sheets in the wash.
since then, you two have been fine. you do your weekly hangout sessions, where you grab food and talk about anything for hours on end. it’s almost as if nothing happened.
until one of your sleepovers.
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you always convinced ellie to spend the night at your house, at least every other week. whenever it’d get dark outside and ellie would start to get up, you’d give her that irresistible pout and “ughhh, c’mon els.. just spend the night. it’s too dark out for you to go home.”
and every damn time, she agreed. how could she ever say no to you?
one night, you and ellie are high out of your minds, talking about god knows what. all giggly and soft, you two exchange jokes and stories that really make no sense. but, to you two, it’s the funniest thing in the world. after a laughing fit between the two of you, you wipe your tears and sigh.
“god, i love you.”
you say, still catching your breath from that tummy tensing laugh. the words were just an expression of admiration for her. but to ellie, they were so much more.
“i love you too.”
she says, looking you in the eyes. she’s high, so she’s not thinking too hard about how sincere she sounds. but she really should’ve, because that soft tone of her voice and the glint in her eyes make it sound way too fucking real.
“woah,” you let out a nervous, breathy chuckle. “that was a bit theatrical.”
“wh..what do you mean?”
ellie asks, getting a bit nervous. she’s not her usual, stuttery self though. she keeps it together. thanks to the weed.
“just the way you said i love you. it felt like… deep.”
you move your hands as you talk, and ellie just shrugs. but she knows she’s fucked. before she could stop her feelings from resurfacing, she gets that familiar tingle in her belly and pounding of her heart.
“shut up,” she rolls her eyes, trying to play it off.“you’re dramatic.”
her voice wavered with those last words. fuck, her voice wavered. why did she feel like she was gonna have a breakdown any second now? she had to get the hell away from you.
“gotta piss. be back in a bit.”
ellie says quickly, so quick you don’t even have time to retort to her calling you dramatic. you just sit there, confused. you could’ve sworn you heard some uncertainty in her voice, but you let her go.
meanwhile, ellie made a beeline for your bathroom. she shut the door and leaned her head against the wood. she let out a deep sigh, trying to calm herself. the fact that she felt the most intense feeling that she couldn’t even describe over a mere “i love you” had her cringing.
she just couldn’t get over you. the entire night, she tried her best not to think about how good your tits looked in your pajama top, or how badly she wanted to just shove her face into your ass in those little shorts.
her thinking over these details led to the predicament that she’s in right now. sweatpants around her knees, legs slightly spread as she rubs one out while leaned up against your bathroom sink. her eyes are shut and her head is thrown back, letting out the quietist grunts she could muster.
she knew she shouldn’t be doing this, she promised herself that she would stop. but god, you made it hard. she was so wet, it made her cheeks flush red. the simple thought of you had her literally dripping around her own fingers.
you were still in your room, biting your thumbnail as you wait for ellie. you start to get worried, thinking you made her upset by commenting on how she said ‘i love you’. so, you being the thoughtful friend you are, go to check on her.
you quietly walk to the bathroom, putting your ear against the door. you were going to knock and mutter a little “els? are you okay?”, but the sounds you heard made you lose all the words in your mouth.
soft, sharp inhales and tiny sticky noises is all you can hear through the door. it’s a bit hard to listen to, since the soft buzz of the yellow light in there overpowers it. what the hell is she doing in there?
you knew this was wrong. an invasion of privacy to the max. but your curiosity was getting the better of you, and you were worried. you put your hand on the doorknob and slightly twisted it, not expecting it to open. but it did.
did ellie forget to lock the door?
ellie doesn’t hear the soft click of the door opening, too lost in her own pleasure as she practically humps her own hand. it had been too fucking long since she could touch herself to the thought of you. her only guilty pleasure.
her head was still thrown back, eyes squeezed shut as she rubbed her clit at a shockingly fast pace. and you saw it all. you had opening the door just enough for half of your face to see through the opened crack. your whole body froze at the sight in front of you.
she was so captivating. her face looking all fucked out, her pale thighs that were so tensed up, the shininess of her slick that smeared on the heel of her palm. even the quick glimpses of her gorgeous auburn bush that you could see if her hoodie rode up enough.
your tummy felt weird. first, you felt guilty for eavesdropping on your best friend. second, you were confused why the fuck ellie decided now would be the best time to masturbate. third, you were turned on. disgustingly turned on, at that.
a few seconds of watching ellie made your panties get all sticky and wet, and that burning hot feeling in your lower belly. you couldn’t look away.
“ohh, fuck— please,”
your brain short circuited hearing ellie say that. god, she was so lost in her own pleasure. so lost that she accidentally knocked over your toothbrush and hand soap on the sink, causing her to jolt and snap her eyes open.
she looks down at the bottle of soap and toothbrush that landed in front of the bathroom door. the door that’s cracked. her eyes shoot up, and there’s where she sees a glimpse of you running away. a quick flash, but she knew it was you.
she is so fucked.
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I HATE RHISNSO BAD RRRR😡
btw i finished this literally like 3 days ago and didn’t wanna post it hut i did anyway ☺️☺️
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st4rtar0t · 3 months
Text
What will your future spouse love about you?
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I'm offering paid readings if you're interested please dm me.
let me know your thoughts in the comments and I hope you enjoy this reading.
PICTURE 1
hello there! the first thing I want you to know is that your future spouse will love you just the way you are. I mean they'll literally be so in love with you. they'll see perfection in your flaws, I see that you are some who loves learning and your fs will love this, they'll love the way you'll share information about your latest interests. they will love how ambitious you are about the things you love. they'll love the way your sense of responsibility however I also see that they'll want you to chill out sometimes. I see that they'll lobe your voice especially your morning voice and for some of you I also see that you may make cute or strange voices sometimes and they'll love that, they'll love the voices you'll make when you see a cute animal. I sense that you guys have a really expressive face and your future spouse will love that. they'll love how you can spice up any situation, they'll love your fun personality. I also see that you can finally be yourself around them because whenever you tired to be yourself, you felt judged because you guys have a naturally bubbly personality. honestly you guys are cinnamon rolls wrapped up as black pepper. you try to put up a tough front in front of others but on the inside you just want to be held in someone's arms like you're their whole world. rest assured because your wish will be fulfilled because they love you so much.
PICTURE 2
I hope you are doing well! the message I got while channelling for you was that they love the way you style your hair, I sense that you guys may like to experiment with your hair to find the style that suits you the best. I am also getting the message that they love your moles, you may have a really noticeable mole on your face, arms and neck. I also see that some of you may have really pretty hands and your future spouse will love them. they'll love massaging them too. they'll love how you are always ready to try something new, how you are not afraid of what's about to come and how you are always open to new possibilities. they'll love your adventurous soul. I am also picking up on the message that you guys have really big eyes, you may have soft features that make you look cute. they will love the way you are able to adapt to new situations really easily because I see that you will have to travel a lot with your future spouse, so you'll need to adapt to new places. they will also love your down to earth personality, they'll love how humble you are. they'll love the way you always treat others with kindness. In their eyes you are literally a blessing from god himself. they will love how protective you are of your loved ones because I see that your future spouse may have had a harsh childhood growing up, so your protectiveness makes them feel loved and cherished.
PICTURE 3
Hello! I sense that your future spouse is someone who has been through a lot of difficult situations and as a coping mechanism they use a cold exterior to save themselves from the outer world and they love the way they can be themselves around you. They love the way you can understand them without even saying anything at all. i also see that they love your independence. They love the way you both know what the other wants without saying anything. They love how unbiased you are, they love the way you can understand a situation from different perspectives. I see that your future spouse feels protected and understood in your presence. This message may be a bit strange but they love your family, they love your culture and the customs you follow, for some of you your future souse may be from different culture. your future spouse will love your straightforwardness, they love the way you always speak your mind. I see that they hate people pleasers because at some point they have been that way. I also see that they love your hospitality, they love how you are always ready to welcome people. I see that they love being babied by you but at the same time they loving they way you love them. to be honest I see that a lot of people have used them for their money, but they never have to worry about you using them for money because they are capable and independent.
I hope you enjoyed this reading!! and please leave suggestions for the readings you will like to see in future.
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myouicieloz · 3 months
Text
Love me back
Yoo Jimin x university student!reader
Synopsis: she wants to let go. you need her to let go. none of you can.
Warnings: nsfw. smut. biting. angsty I guess.
Word count: 2.5k
Notes: my darlings <3
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Karina didn’t turn to look when you sat beside her in the park. She knew who it was. She called you herself, not many minutes ago.
Hey
Ik we’re fighting, but could you come, please?
An address. Another message, too, after a few minutes. Almost as if she were wary of sending it.
It’s cold.
You stared at your phone as the bubble kept going on and off in your conversation, until it stopped. Finally, she’d decided. About that, at least.
And I miss you
Needless to say, you went to meet her. You’d never deny her anything, no matter how much you wanted to. No matter how much she deserved so.
You found her sitting on a wooden bench, staring at the lake with a red nose and cold hands. You could tell she was freezing, even with the thick jacket she wore, yet you didn’t move to take yours off and offer it to her. No, you two were long past this.
“I’ve had a stressful week.” She sighed, hiding her face in her hands. Like the usual, she didn’t directly acknowledge you, and you knew why. You’ve been doing this long enough to know that this was all you meant to her: an escape.
A distraction, if you were lucky enough.
“You always do.” Your words were as apathetic as your face, serious as you shove your hands into your pockets, trying to suppress a shiver yourself. It was freezing cold indeed, so whatever it was that had Karina pissed must’ve been something serious, to have her out of the dorms so late at night.
You were curious, although not curious enough to give in just yet. After moments of waiting for her to say something, anything, you rolled your eyes, sitting beside her on the wooden bench. She closed hers, depriving herself of the grand view of the river, and rested her head on the crook of your neck. You allowed her to do so, naturally.
There’s very little you’d not let her do to you.
“Aren’t you tired of this?”
“No.” Her answer is immediate, steam coming from the heavy breath she’d let out. “I could never get tired of you.”
Perhaps she was truthful in her words. You loved her, and you knew she loved you too, in her own way. It would never work out: with her being an idol, famous and successful, and you being just a university student. You were aware of that, and it was the reason you promised yourself to not answer her calls, whenever she reached out for you; you’d only get hurt, in the end — the right thing to do would be to end it, to protect yourself and your feelings.
However, as much as she did mean the empty promises she gave you, Karina knew just what to say to lure you in. Not just your body, the idol knew your soul too well. Her words were, most of the time, carefully calculated to break out your boundaries and get you to do whatever it was that she wanted you to. Even though you knew her tricks, you couldn’t help but to fall into her web every time.
She sighed, shrinking as she hummed against your neck, sniffing your perfume. Still the one she’d given you on your birthday, she was pleased to note. “Can I go to your house?”
Her voice was just as small and quiet as she made herself be, hugging her knees under the moonlight. Even in all her confidence, she was still a bit wary; afraid this would be the day you finally realized she was too damaging to you. She’s deeply afraid you’d leave her. She loves you — it’s complicated, but oh, how she does. She can’t fathom losing you.
“Not to talk, I assume.” Your tone, usually playful, was still serious. Karina moved her head from you, urging to be able to look in your face. Your beautiful face, kind and sweet and made to love her, staring at her with a blank expression — much different from the look of love you had before.
But that was ages ago, when you were both naive and pure, not at all ruined by the idol world. After all, generally, love is not enough.
The older girl shook her head, carefully observing your actions. “No, not to talk.”
You sighed. Unfortunately, you couldn’t help it: Karina was a siren, the holy sounds of her moans luring you in until you found yourself so deep in the water there was no other option but to drown.
You were, indeed, so exhausted of this cycle. One of her calling you solemnly when she wanted to rant or fuck until she was spaced out enough to forget her problems away for a few hours. She didn’t show any interest in your likings, your hobbies, or your friends. It was crystal clear that you were nothing but a stress relief to her.
Still, you were weak. Unfortunately, you loved Karina wholeheartedly, and you were eager to get whatever she wanted to give to you, no matter how much your logic was against it. How could you not? The sex was too good.
Aware of that, you got up, still refusing to display any emotions once you started walking, knowing she’d follow.
-
There is no warmth in your kiss. You bumped into the sofa, hurrying to the bedroom without separating your mouth from Karina’s. Her clothes were nearly ripped off her body, her sharp fingers doing the same with yours. It’s been too long since you had touched her pale, soft skin — you feel such lust for her in your heart, you nearly suffocate. Your desire for her body —for the little she gives you, it all drives you insane. It isn’t healthy, being on her will 24/7 and bending to all her wishes, but again, you can’t help it. She’s lured you in.
You positioned yourself between her legs, moving her long, raven hair from her face so you’d be able to stare at her properly. She looked flawless, impeccable, and waiting for you to take whatever you wanted to. It was just how she was: you could take and take, yet she’d never give you what you truly wanted.
Pretty girl with a pretty mind and a rotten soul, every sacred inch of her curves sculptured to leave you damned. To hurt you.
You sighed, biting her lips, then her skin. You loved to see your artwork on her— almost like a small victory. “What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to hurt.” She breathed deeply, hot moans coming from her mouth as you placed slow, wet kisses on her neck. “I deserve it.”
Kissing the space between her chest, you, murmur. “I’ve dreamed about being able to do so many times. Unfortunately, I can’t. I fucking can’t.”
She ignored your words, pulling you in for another messy kiss.
Karina always promised herself she’d stop reaching out to you. She knew you’d always give her attention, and part of her truly wished she could stop hurting you. She had never intended to. But she was also weak, and she needed you too much. How could she let go of you, when you were the only person who knew the real her? You’re the keeper of her dreams, her insecurities, her deep, darkest fears.
“You should.” Her voice had no trace of humor, as she traced her sharp nails through your jaw, forcing your mouth open. You knew her well enough to recognize the silent mocking, silently glad for your lack of self-respect.
For the sake of peace, you chose to ignore her words. Getting up, you delighted yourself with the way her eyes ravished your body, not at all in a rush while you got the strap she’s used to. She gulped, her mouth watering at the sight presented to her: how beautiful you were, all hers. It didn’t matter if it wasn’t true: you’d always go back to her, in the late hours of the night. She’d just have to call, and you’d drop everything and go.
As it should be.
Back in bed, you spat, spreading your saliva over the plastic toy. Karina had already knelt, salivating in front of you. Your hands grabbed a hold of her hair, shoving her face onto it rather harshly. “Take it.”
And oh, she did. Karina was eager, sucking and mixing your saliva with hers as she took it all in, the silicone gagging her throat and your grip not getting any weaker, forcing her to allow her mouth be fucked even when she started to get dizzy, dark dots appearing in her vision due to the lack of breathing. Only then, you let her go, watching her recompose herself.
“Very good. How much do you want it?” You teased, tone still serious, groping her thin waist until your fingerprints could be seen, reddening her impeccable porcelain skin. Her pretty ass was begging to be bruised, slapped all over, so you did as such.
Karina’s response came from her body, before she could even forge the words to answer you. Her back arched, and lewd, loud moans immediately left her mouth.
“Too m-much.” She gasped, whining once the strap met her entrance, not entering her properly. “Y/n… give me it all, p-please.” Karina pushed her hips back, trying to get you to be quicker.
Ever so impatient, as always. Never in the mood to play your games; they were of no interest to her.
Still, you did not give in, brushing her wet cunt as you pleased, giving her just the tip before pulling it out once again. You felt how hot and desperate she was, which made you hum in pleasure, too. At least she was suffering, in a way.
“Please, my Y/n. I’ll do everything, I promise.” She begged, little tears prickling from her eyes. “Everything you want, I swear. I’ll give you anything. A new laptop, jewels, a car, just say it but please, p-please…” Her pleads got even louder, self-control wearing thin.
It hurt— no, it maddened you to know she thought she could buy you with superficial things. You’ve never asked for any of those, not even when you were (unofficially) together. You’ve never wanted anything but her love. She’d never understand that.
It made you crazy, upset and so damn pissed off that she couldn’t see so.
Huffing, you pushed her down on the bed, entering her whole with your cock’s full length without giving her any time to adjust. It was rough, without a care— just how Karina liked the most.
Your roommates were away for the weekend, thankfully. Karina has always been a vocal mess, specially in bed, but it was obvious her current routine was taking a toll on her; her moans were sinful, the incoherent mumbles she let out making them close to screams, and she was so responsive. Her entire body twitched whenever you’d place your mouth on her skin.
Sucking her lips, then her neck, and oh, she nearly came in the spot when you started biting. Bruising her arms, her abdomen, her waist— your favorite place to mark her. She’d wear your hickeys proudly, smiling and mumbling about how clumsy she had been during rehearsals whenever somebody asked her about it, brushing off their concern.
It was all too much: your bite marks, mouth so hot on top of her, making sure no place was left unattended, paired with your thrusts, hard and fast, her grasps being how much she could breathe in between. Filling her up, adoring her so much.
She loved this.
“Y-you’re the best, my Y/n.” She let out, her body bumping against the mattress. Being loved by you was her favorite thing, she recalled. How could she have ever forgotten about it?
You bit your lip to keep yourself from saying something you’d regret.
“I hate you, for being so pretty.” You told Karina, pinching and twisting her nipples as you thrusted into her, hard and fast. She rolled her eyes, clearly too lost in her pleasure to give your thoughts any attention. You turned her around, eager to be presented with her pretty ass, wiggling with the thrusting motions. You gave it a single slap, a loud whine being followed from the older girl. “I hate you for not loving me back.” You held her by the hips, angling higher so you could reach her g-spot. “And I hate myself for loving you so much.”
Your words, even though they didn’t make much sense in Karina’s current fucked out mind, along with your movements and stimulations, were more than enough to have her reach her high. Letting out a high-pitched cry, Karina came, holding your arms tightly in attempts to not fall apart. You let her do so, assuring she went back to her senses before you could let your body fall beside her, the strap that hung on your hips latched on the ground.
“Will you ever give me anything more than that? More than hiding and being nothing more than a late night fuck?” You asked, straight to the point.
A year ago, you wouldn’t have had the guts to ask such a question. You lacked confidence, and you feared she’d disappear if you such as mentioned whatever it was that you two had.
Not anymore, though. Even more than insecure, you were tired; you couldn’t endure your situation anymore. A few days before her call, you’d made peace with the thought of not having her to yourself anymore. It would be harsh, but it was the best for you. You deserved better.
Even if you would never love anyone more than you loved her.
Karina stayed silent, looking down onto the covers. It’s enough answer for you. Sighing, you got up, handing her clothes and gesturing to the door.
“Then go elsewhere to get whatever you want, next time. Let me be free, Karina, please.” You hated yourself for sounding so miserable, the crack in your tone serving as clear evidence of how hurt you were. You loved her so much, but you couldn’t do this any longer. You needed more.
And Karina, even with all the confidence, money, and influence she had, could never give you such a thing.
She took the cue, doing as told. Her eyes— her big, dark, sad eyes stared at you quietly, and she opened her mouth to say something. After minutes of waiting, though, she doesn’t. Still silent, Karina left, launching you a last sad, pitiful look.
She was a mess; a beautiful, doomed angel, trapped in an industry that saw her as nothing less than a product, made to make money out of, until she was worn out. She struggled, naturally. It was a cruel place, one where people cared very little about her well-being and her actually feelings.
However, Karina was not yours to worry about anymore. Never was, for a fact.
512 notes · View notes
sickuma · 10 months
Text
SILLAGE — a Simon Riley fic. 2/2
❱ again this was an au first written on tiktok! this will be the last part of it, please keep in mind that it is all fiction and that if you're going through the same thing and are having the same thoughts, please seek someone you trust. Please fight for yourselves, you're worth it ꜝ? Warning. . this is a heavy angst fic, mentions of suicide and acts of committing, if that is something that triggers bad emotions, please exit the fic.
paring is Ghost x Reader this is unedited! mistakes such as spelling and grammatical errors are to be expected !
Part 1 (^_^;)
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SILLAGE — (n.) The scent that lingers in air, the trail left in water, the impression made in space after something or someone has been and gone; the trace of someone's perfume.
—hey [name]? I know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now, but I just really—
There was a short pause, as the voicemail erupts a slight static sound.
—I love you. That should have been enough reason. No, you were enough. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I was cowardly, I figured that you'll be happier and safer, being with someone who isn't me. Someone who isn't a soldier.
It was the same night he left your apartment. He swore to himself he would not come crawling back. To protect both of you, at the time, it had been the best solution for him. Until the midnight strikes, he remembered just how serious you looked, just how accepting you looked.
Too accepting.
—because who knows when one of these missions would finally take me out. I can't let you suffer through that, I can't be the one to give you that kind of grief. So I thought leaving you was the best option.
There was a dire pause as he thought of the best words possible to express himself. He’s never been one to do such, but for you, he’s willing to be better.
—it wasn't.
He spoke desperately, almost shaking from just how much adrenaline rushed through him. He had just argued with the team, and after a long hour of explaining to them what he needed to do, he was finally permitted to bail out on this mission, it’s not like he wouldn't leave without permission, that's how urgent this is for him, he needed to get to you as soon as possible,
Even he doesn't know why he’s in a rush,
Maybe it's because of your silence, the unanswered calls, and unread messages that brought him on edge.
—I love you, far too much, my love, to even think straight without you. I love you so much it's hard to breathe. I so desperately love you to the point it hurts.
The desperation and sincerity. It was all there. He knew if he couldn't let it out now, he won't let it out ever. This was his only chance of being happy.
You were his only chance for happiness. He almost couldn't believe he thought letting you go because of his fear was the best decision.
He stupidly let you go, succumbing to the fear of dying while you wait for him. He knows better, he will do better,
For you. Because you're worth changing for, you're worth the risk.
—please don't hate me. I know I was an ass for leaving in the first place, baby, I am sorry. You loved me so much that it felt so good, I didn't know I'm capable of feeling that way, so I was scared that worse would come after. I'm not scared anymore. You looked at me like there's something in me worth looking at,
He felt like he was saying so much yet so little at the same time,
He had so much to tell you but very few words to express it. He needs to be with you. He needs to see you and physically explain to you just how much you mean to him.
—I won't waste it, love, not again. Please open the door for me when I get back. 
He frowned, realizing once again just how idiotic he was. He knew he should not have done what he did, but it was over with. The only thing left to do is to make things right somehow.
—I've never been taught how to love, I have.. I don't— I'm not the best at it. I'm sorry baby, if I'm not loving you the right way, and for leaving just like that, but I promise I'll be better. you're worth the better of me, you're worth learning love for.
He needed you, and you needed him. That should have been enough reason to risk it.
—when I come back, please let me hold you. Please forgive me for making you feel like an option between my job. It's you. It's always been you. I love you, baby, wait for me. I'll make this right.
As the line cuts, the static sound fills the eerie room of yours. The very same room he had walked out from, the same room where you sat breathing hours ago. There were no other living sounds except for the occasional ticking of the clock.
There were no signs nor sounds of life perceived in the room. The silence was thick. With your lifeless body beside the bed in a fetal position, a bottle of used pills tightly wrapped around your hands. It was light, about three to four pills left inside a newly bought bottle.
It was dead silent as if the universe sympathized with you.
Allowing silence in regards to respect for what has passed, for what has ended.
“My family’s never been the typical joyous family, I guess that affected me, as a person in general.”
You explain, running your hand through his hair while his head laid on your lap. It’s one of those days where he’d be much affectionate compared to the majority of the time. He requested to hear about your childhood while he rests on you,
For a moment you felt your heart and breath hitch.
“I guess growing up in that kind of household really—really influenced my well-being. It's given me problems and worries I shouldn't have.” You were hesitant to continue, “Fear, I started having fears for a lot of things.”It's as if you caught a glimpse of his mind, taking in the details you've just given him.“Fears like?” 
The moment the question reached your ears, he could see your body tense. He understood, and he doesn't plan on pushing it.“You don't have to answer that, my love.” he smiles, “No matter what it is you're scared of, let’s face it together, yeah? You have me. That's enough, I hope.”
Little did he know that fear was yet to come. The fear of leaving soon, the fear of being unable to keep going. How could you ever explain to him that you don't plan to stay long?
With a ragged breath from exhaustion, he dropped his things once again, the same way he did before he left. Facing your door yet again, panting as a feeling of discomfort plagued him, why exactly? He’s finally here. Why is he so distraught, he wondered.
“[name]?” he knocks,
Swallowing the lump in his throat, his voice strained, and his state dishevelled. “[name] please—it’s me, please answer.”
The lack of response made him think about just how angry he made you,
“I'm sorry,” he whispers,
“I know I was stupid and irrational. I won't do it again, petal, please open the door.”
To say he’s nervous would be an understatement. What would he do if you never find it in you to let him back into the comfort of your arms? Will he return to the familiar cold he had forgotten when he met you?
“[name] I love you.”
He desperately spoke, yearning for an answer; the smallest sign of acceptance. 
It was odd. How quiet it was. Are you that mad? He wonders, but then again, he knew you’re not one to ignore, not even when you’re the angriest you've been. You would never shut him out, not ever. “[name], please, answer, or I'll have to go inside.”
“Baby are you okay?” no response.
Each passing second was like a countdown. He was uneasy and distraught. Afraid even.
The silence felt deafening. He was afraid of what? He had no clue what he was so afraid of, surely you're okay...
Right?
“[name], I'm coming in,” he says sternly, fishing the spare key he oh so gratefully forgot to give back. His heart thumps louder with each action.
The moment he entered, the creak of the door interrupted the silence. He felt like he was intruding on an abandoned space. It felt wrong. He knew something was wrong.
“[name]? I'm back, like—like I always am.” his voice broke, stepping inside, head looking around, hoping to find you and engulf you in his longing arms. “As I told you, I’ll always find my way back… right?”
He kept speaking while he walked, checking and opening every door. Starting from the small kitchen to the bathroom, checking everywhere until there was one room left. He dreaded it, for no reason he was scared and yet he rushed,
He spoke, no—he goes on a tangent, 
“I'll take the month off. We’ll do anything you want, anything to make up for this. I promise we can even get a pet, I always say no, right? This time, I'll agree, anything for you, my love just—”
The silence rung,
Apart from the sound of the door opening by his force, there were no sounds made, not from him, not from anything. He simply stood, dumbfounded at what the room unveiled; at that moment, nothing mattered, not even the breath he had held unknowingly.
A ragged chuckle escaped his lips, though it was hollow. As if he was desperate to know that maybe this is all some sick prank. Maybe this was one of your silly games he always put up with, “Baby? What’s this? Why are you on the floor?”
“Jokes over [name] get up—”
When it all came to view, he was silenced. The second he stepped closer, he saw how your body lay lifeless, how you held that bottle, and how his eyes drifted onto the lone tear, which evidently dried along the hours. 
How long have you been here?
In this state? How long has it been since you left him?
He couldn't feel. He couldn't grasp his head around the sight before him. He’s well familiar with death. He’s seen it before, and he’s lost comrades before, but nothing comes close to what lay in front of him. 
How does one react when their lifeline lies lifeless before their very eyes?
He couldn't approach nor speak. He simply stood with weak knees, tempting to give out. It didn't take him long to crouch, eyes wide open with lips parted slightly. There were no tears, no emotions, the moment numbed him. It didn't feel like reality,
There he crouched, just a few steps away from you. It didn't feel like his heart dropped. It felt almost worse, as if you'd taken it with you. How could this have happened? Did he cause this?
If you had told him a day ago that he would witness the person he loved the most laying on the floor devoid of life, he would have laughed at your face, punching you even. This isn't reality. This isn't a reality he wants to face.
It took every courage in his body to bring himself closer to you, afraid of what more he’d discover. With slow steps, he drew closer, grabbing your hand was the first thing he thought of doing. “Oh god…” his voice broke,
Your body isn't as warm as it used to be,
Not as he remembered. The warmth he loved when he would hold you against him, it’s gone. You're gone.
He had felt countless of stiff lifeless bodies and yet yours hurt the most,
The mere thought of it destroyed him. It hasnt sinked in yet, but he could tell. He could tell his demise is near. The realization will hit him in a short while. 
“Baby, im home…” this wasn't him. This was not his voice. Stuttering over the easiest words, strained with pent-up sobs. His chest felt heavy, almost making it difficult to breathe. 
Yet with hitched breath, he picked up your limp body and placed you in his arms, crushing your icy body against him. He held you tightly, but his hands cradled your body tenderly. It was as if he’s afraid of hurting you more.
Ghost was forever fearless, always facing whatever challenge was given to him, even his mortal enemy would know that he isnt necessarily the easiest solder to crack, let alone destroy and yet he finds himself sat on the floor holding the lifeless frame of his lover,
Cradling whatever is left of you,
Desperately holding onto what he can possibly hold on to.
The lieutenant everyone looked up on, admired and viewed as an admirable man, sat on the floor with a weighing heart. Holding back the tears that had formed without his knowledge as he held your body, 
but right now, he wasn't lieutenant simon ‘ghost’ riley.
At this moment, he was just simon, the simon you loved desperately, the simon who loved you just as insanely.
This person right this moment was your simon,
He wasnt anyone else, he was yours.
As he sat on the hard cold floor, thoughts roaming with his heart screaming, he felt like a mess, but that didn't matter. Words can not describe the regret, remorse, and stupidity he felt,
If i didnt leave,
If i didn't walk out that door,would you still have been alive in my arms?Would i still have to hold you soulless?
He held you closer, bringing you closer to him, as close as possible. He felt nothing but regret, nothing but anger for himself. Why is it that the very grief he tried to protect you from, the same reason he left, the same grief he avoided you to feel, why is it that he’s feeling it now?
His ragged sobs filled the room, and the rest remained still as if everything sympathized for him. As if the world understood the hurt he carried. He sobs, holding onto you as if doing so would bring you back. He knew nothing well, and yet he foolishly cried, hoping you’ll hear him and come back to ease the pain.
Like you always did.
At the corner of his eyes, he saw the letters piled not far from them. Without standing, nor letting go of you, he reached for it. Reading the names addressed on each, until he sees the one for him.
Of all the few letters he saw, his was the only one with tear drops which ruined the ink in front, almost unable to read, he brought it closer, dropping the rest.
Simon,
I felt everything.
Thank you, and im sorry,
I love you :)
Swallowing the impossibly heavy lump on his throat, he opened the carefully folded letter. He was met with even more tear drops. The thought of you crying, alone, while you write him a letter to bid him goodbye, crushed his soul.
He cant imagine a greater pain,
It felt surreal.
How could I..
How could I have lost you this easily.
With his blurry vision, he starts to read—well—attempt to. With every sentence, every punctuation, every meaning of your words, all of it felt like a slap to reality.
How could he have not seen?
How did he not notice? Not paying attention to what you were going through? How could he have been so careless as to leave you all alone.
The very fear you spoke of,
He did just exactly what your family had done.
If anybody could have saved me,
it would have been you.
He read the part over and over again, allowing your words to cut through his heart repeatedly. He left you, and yet, at the end of the day, you still see him as someone—the only one who could save you. 
Despite the war inside your mind,
Inside your mind and unwavering emotions, which he hadn't bothered to unveil, he remained the most important person.
May it be in your chaotic mind or the furthest crevices of your heart, he remained on both.
He read it all,
Understanding every single thing you failed to say in person,
Everything you failed to say while you still lived.
It hurts even more. He thought nothing could be more painful when he saw you laying lifeless. But having to read what you wanted to say,
How sorry you were, how thankful you are to him, and how he made you feel. 
It was surely another cut to an already existing wound. His mind flashed memories while he went over the tear stained letter you left.
He remembered everything as if they were as fresh as yesterday. When you first smiled at him, when you first held hands, when your lips first touched.
Your words were true. The story of you really is short-lived. But he couldn't help but think about the what If's
If he stayed,
If he hadn't walked out,
If he ignored his fear of abandoning you,
If he hadn't been so stupid and cowardly.
He gave up, and the heavy lump on the throat overcame him, letting the sting linger for as long as eternity. He read the last words on the letter, with a loud sob, with repeated pleads.
Repeatedly apologising, repeatedly begging for you to come back so he could fix things so everything could return to normal,
So you could return.
A childish wish. A high-ranking soldier held the lifeless body of his lover all while he begs for them to come back. 
"I'm so sorry." He whispers, voice too broken to speak normally. "I'm sorry for not noticing."
"I'm sorry you had to be alone." 
"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He repeats over and over again, holding you against him. 
At the back of the letter, he could barely see the words written with how blurry the tears clouded his eyes.
Thank you for making me feel.
The words only crushed him even more, sobbing and crying harder to no avail. 
"[name]..." He whispers, holding you close. "Did it hurt? I'm sorry, it must have been so hard."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm so sorry for not being here you."
He apologized, wishing he could have been with you. To convince you otherwise, wishing he could have been here to avoid this,
To avoid losing you.
Wishing he could have stayed to keep making you feel.
The thoughts of your words before he left suddenly entered his mind,
"Can I hug you?"
"One last time?"
Now it all makes sense why you looked so serene, why you looked so accepting. Why did you have that small smile on your lips,
You were bidding him goodbye.
That really was the final hug. 
The final touch he'd ever get, the final living affection he would get from you. 
He holds you now, but it wasn't the same, not even close. Back then, you were smiling and breathing, but now you're no different to an inanimate object. Stiff and cold, this is the person he loved so dearly?
It ached.
And it ached painfully.
The type of ache to never go away, the type of ache he'd keep forever.
The type of ache he'll willingly embrace,
As he held you that night, mourning for what could've been, mourning for someone beyond saving.
This was the ache he'd willingly feel forever,
If it means having you in his mind and heart. He would willingly hurt himself by keeping that ache if it means keeping you in his deceased heart forever.
As the remnant of your memories roamed the room, your presence which now passed, the scent of yours he dearly craved. It left a sillage pain to remember,
You left a sillage worth remembering.
"I'll keep you in my heart,
Even if that damage me,
Even if it kills me.
I'll keep you safe forever."
1K notes · View notes
dollyyss · 5 months
Note
can you please do headcanons of what it would be like dating the main five boys?
Yes yes yes a million times yes
I’m sleepy, I promise I’ll edit this if needed tomorrow.
┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
𝙒𝙃𝘼𝙏 𝙄𝙏𝙎 𝙇𝙄𝙆𝙀 𝙏𝙊 𝘿𝘼𝙏𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙈𝘼𝙄𝙉 𝙁𝙊𝙐𝙍 + 𝘽𝙐𝙏𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎
𝙀𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 ₊ ⊹
𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥! 𝙃𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝘼𝙐‧₊˚✩彡
𝙆𝙮𝙡𝙚, 𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙣, 𝙆𝙚𝙣𝙣𝙮, 𝘾𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘽𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨𐙚
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: very slight talk of nsfw in Kenny’s part!
└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘
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Kyle 🐇𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒🪐
- he’s dominate. But.. not in just that sense. I mean he takes care of you. Willingly. He’s constantly walking you to class, brining extra things for you because he knows you forget, so he has those extra pencils for you, notebooks. When the two of you walk side by side and he notices your shoe lace is untied he stops you immediately to bend down to tie it right back up. When you’re tired.. your in his arms immediately being led back to his car to take you back home. He’ll feed you sometimes. He just loves you, he wants to take care of you in every aspect.
- he’s gentle, he ensures that his communication with you is always considerate and kind. He listens attentively, acknowledges your viewpoint, and refrains from speaking harshly or being dismissive. Kyle shows genuine empathy towards your feelings, needs, and experiences. He puts himself in your shoes, tries to grasp your perspectives, and offers comfort and support to you whenever you need it. He is patient and willing to listen without judgment.
- Kyle understands the importance of physical touch for intimacy and affection. He engages in gentle caresses, hugs, and kisses, always being mindful of your comfort and boundaries. He enjoys being able to cradle you safely in your arms, express to you how much he loves you, how he’d always be there.
- and with physical touch, comes emotional support. Kyle is supportive and nurturing towards your emotional well-being. He is sensitive to your emotional state and offers comfort, reassurance, and a safe space for vulnerability. He provides comfort, validation, and understanding when you need it the most.
- Kyle creates a safe and secure environment for you quite often. both physically and emotionally. He ensures that you feel protected, comfortable, and free from any harm or judgment. His gentle and caring presence gives you a sense of peace.. a sense of home..
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Stan .° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ
- I believe Stan.. is so supportive of you. He doesn’t believe he can truly make it far considering what he’s done with himself due to alcohol.. self loathing.. not being able to build what he wanted for himself so when he sees you achieve the things you’ve always wanted he’s cheering you on. He’s always the one to come up to you after a speech, squeezing you tight against him and whispering about how proud he is of you. He’s the one to bring you flowers, exchanging kisses to show you how amazing you were. In his eyes. You’re his role model.
- he’s committed to you. He’s had his heart broken far too many times by one person.. so when he finally finds you.. and you treat him the way he’s always wanted to be treated, show him the love he deserves.. there is nothing stopping that heart from grasping for you. Longing for you.
- though Stan loves to be around you consistently, wants to do anything and everything for you, he also understands Independency, individuality. He understands that maybe you don’t always wants to do something, or be around and that’s okay. He gets it.. he may be a little sad but he understands that sometimes having a me day is completely okay. Expect him to text you back immediately when you message him. He’s missed you :((
- he’s not THE greatest with his emotions, he’s still trying to figure his out most of the time but he will always stop to listen to you. No matter what it is.
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Kenny ₊˚🕯️🖤❀༉
- Kenny is quite sexual, so your Reltionship is bound to be quite sexually. But he knows boundaries. And he knows when no means no. Sure he’s got quite the sex drive but he would never push you to do anything you never wanted to. This goes for anything really, he hates the idea of forcing you to do absolutely anything, he likes to know you may actually want to do something because you want to do it. Not because you’re just agreeing with him.
- he will give you space when you need it. He can be quite clingy at times but that’s because he’s just genuinely happy to be around you, so at times he can understand needing some space.
- he’s so understanding. Anything you come to him about, he’s all ears, listening and asking wether you need him to do something about, to stay the night with you. Anything. He’ll do it. He’s good at telling when something is wrong, even if you try to hide it and you hide it well. He’ll know. And he’s probably one of the best to go to…. He’ll even fuck you silly to get your mind off of things. But- in all seriousness. He genuinely does give you really good advice, advice you can take and actually go by, he cares.
- he’s so goofy. He’s always willing to do anything to put that sweet smile on your face. Whether it be to embarrass himself in front of a shit ton of people, or alone and he makes the stupidest inappropriate jokes. When he hears you laugh he’s laughing himself, smiling at you lovingly.
- he’s so protective it’s not funny. I’m talking, he beat the fuck out of someone once for even just slightly hurting you.
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Cartman 🎧✮🧺✧˖°
- I hate him. And he’s an awful fucking person but.. with the right person.. I feel like he could be changed. Maybe not entirely but he would change.
- he starts a lot of arguments. Even though he says it wasn’t even him… it was. It’s over stupid shit to, like I’m talking over food, where he gets to sit somewhere, where you guys go. He’s so fucking petty it’s ridiculous.
- butttt.. with this he does make up for it. He doesss feel just a littleeee bad for making you so upset so majority of the time he’ll bribe you with food.. or rarely a warm hug.
- he’s quite a good person to cuddle. He’s warm, he’s got some squish so there’s enough to snuggle into and fall asleep. When you’re asleep.. he’s cooing at you, not understanding how someone like you could put up with him.
- he can be.. childish but he loves when you laugh with him, when he realizes something he’s said as made you laugh? You better believe he’s doing it continuously, like Kenny he actually really likes see you laugh especially if it’s because of him. It boosts his ego oops.
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Butters ˚☆🐈*๑
- he’s like Kyle. He likes taking care of you. He likes taking you on dates, spoiling you with his allowance money.. even if it does get him grounded he doesn’t care. Your his, he has to spoil you.
- he’s such a kissy boy. He’s kissing you almost Antrim he lays his eyes on you, while your studying, grabbing a drink, coming straight out of the bathroom. He’s there. Baby just wants a kiss.
- he’s such a fucking sweetheart. He’s never really truly gotten angry at you, yelled at you, nothing. He’s so caring when it comes to you. He knows to take his time with you, to understand what’s too far and what’s just right. He gets what’s too much for you and what calms you down. He knows you like the back of his hand.
- he’s also extremely overprotective. It’s rare to see butters lose his temper but when it comes to you, he’ll yell like he’s never yelled before. I’m sure he’d also beat someone up if he could, and he knew he could. He hates seeing you hurt, at times he cries himself, but other times he’s so angered by others actions towards you he’s more worried about showing them how pissed he is.
- you always have his attention. You always have him. If someone online talks to him and is making you even slightly uncomfortable.. he’s blocking them at just their name leaving your lips. He’s ignoring anybody who seems even slightly interested. He’s got his eyes on you. And you only.
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itaipava · 7 months
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— lewis hamilton as your boyfriend.
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he is the type of boyfriend who loves taking you everywhere he goes; if you can (and want to) he will be taking you to all the races. also to his favorite restaurant, his favorite park, favorite cafe, favorite record store, the house of his family and friends. he loves your company and always wants you around.
he remembers almost everything you like and dislike: which additionally makes him amazing at buying gifts, among other things like; surprising you with your favorite coffee or food, making playlists with songs he knows you’ll enjoy, giving your flowers in your favorite color with a little note with a sweet and thoughtful poem or a sweet lyric from your favorite song.
he always remembers your schedule or when you’re free: and calls you at those times because he wants to hear your voice. if not calls, then he likes to leave little voice messages; he loves to talk to you everyday, specially to hear about your day or what you did or gonna do. he also likes to talk about his day or what day he’s going gome (and almost ruining the surprise when talking about the gift he bought you)
he’s a smooth talker: he always knows the right things to say and mean them; he’s very open minded and hope you are too. he likes to grow and learn with (and from) you. he’s very sincere, but he knows how to say things; so if you say or do something he doesn’t like or appreciate, he will talk about it with you in a kind way with the intention of helping you and recognizing your mistake. and he honestly appreciate so much when you do the same to him. like i said, he loves learning from you, so when you talk to him about your boundaries or something he did wrong, he always say “thank you for telling me how you feel”. he really wants to improve as a person, both for himself and for you.
he always seems to know what you’re feeling - he’s good at noticing small changes in your voice, expressions, habits, or mannerisms, so “i’m fine” lies don’t really work on him. but, if you don’t want to talk about it, he will respect you 100% and will make it clear that if you need him for anything or if you want to vent or ask for advice, you can call him at any time because he will always be there for you.
he respects you a lot; your ideas, opinions, tastes and styles. he never judges you or laughs at you for something you like and appreciate, quite the opposite, he encourages you to do the things you like and even tries to take part in your interests.
he thinks a lot about your future together; about what your house would be like when you live together and the things you will do together. about trips he wants to take with you, about holidays and festivals he wants to go to with you, about your family and friends, about children... literally everything; he can’t imagine his future without you, in everything he thinks, you are there by his side and that couldn’t make him more excited.
he is very cuddly and just soothing and comfortable to be around; he’s so sweet and lovely with you that always makes your heart race. he loves to wake you up with hugs and little kisses spreads all over your face; you always open your eyes with a soft smile, he smiles back and says “good morning, love.” he likes to sends you sweet, little texts throughout the day to check on you: always making sure you’re healthy and eating well. 
he loves showing you off to people; he introduces you to friends and family with a big smile on his face, his eyes shining as he says “this is y/n, my partner”. he is so proud to be your boyfriend and you can feel how much he loves you.
he’s just so in love with you: he loves looking at you and doesn’t stop when you look back or get shy. he loves taking candid photos of you and loves being your personal photographer when you need. his wallpaper is one of your pics that he loves so much or one of the two of you that represents how much you two love each other. he loves talking about you or mentioning you in conversations with friends and family, like “oh, y/n likes that!” or “do you know y/n? my part er?”
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luciddownloading · 1 month
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Tarot Reading (Pick A Card): What Is Your Divine Feminine Energy? 🌷
Okay, it is time for another Tarot reading! Today, we are going to be discussing your Divine Feminine energy. Now, as I always say, this is not dependent on gender. A lot of women identify as Divine Feminine - someone with a predominance of feminine energy - but you can also be a male who embodies Divine Feminine. Just as a woman can embody Divine Masculine. It's also not about sexual orientation. It is just about how you feel inside and what you're drawn to.
We are all our own unique blend of masculine and feminine, after all. You also can't put those energies in a little box. There are many different types of masculinity and femininity and we are going to delve into the latter today.
Most of you here identify more as Divine Feminine. If so, aligning with your feminine self, leading with it and living life according to it, is what allows you to create your best life and be your best self. It's the key to your abundance. But, if you happen to resonate more as a Divine Masculine, this reading will just tell you what your feminine side is like and how to embrace it.
So, choose the image (or images) that you feel most pulled to and see what your Divine Feminine expression is. Please trust your intuition. If it doesn't sound like you or your inner potential, then it's not your pile. Also, I am not taking reversals today. I will see you in your pile, bestie!
PILE 1
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PILE 2
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PILE 3
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PILE 4
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PILE 1
Queen of Wands
(clarified by: The Moon)
The Fool
(clarified by: Three of Cups)
Four of Pentacles
(clarified by: Nine of Pentacles)
Page of Wands (back of the deck)
Pile 1, what immediately stands out to me here is this Queen of Wands popping out. It's one of the feminine archetypes in Tarot and we're talking about your Divine Feminine self. So, first of all, I think you are, in many ways, a very feminine person and identify as such. You have this really lovely energy and you just exude femininity, whether you are male or female. But, I also think you challenge traditional concepts of femininity. You are this Queen of Wands, which is a very beautiful yet very fierce energy. You have a softness to you but you are also formidable and not to be messed with. In fact, you see your femininity as a form of power that you wield confidently.
The song Maneater by Nelly Furtado is coming through. Regardless of if you're attracted to men or not, you have that energy. It's giving femme fatale, even if you're a male femme fatale of sorts. You're VERY alluring and sultry. You know it. And if you're protesting that you're not, um, you better start owning that shit, babe! Your Divine Feminine expression is highly seductive and reels so many admirers in. Part of it is the fact that you're very mysterious. I feel like you're so private and, in spite of being rather extroverted, you are not easily accessible. Some of you may not even have social media or, if you do, you barely post. This only leaves people wanting more. You are radiantly beautiful and shine so brightly but many people feel like they don't know much about you.
This mystique only elevates you in others' eyes. It's a kind of star quality. I can see you being "famous" in your own respect, whether that is being very well known in your community, having a big Internet presence or maybe even being actually famous one day. There is this major goddess energy to you. People want to put you on this pedestal and worship you or maybe even harbor jealousy because of that status of yours. I am getting this message that, for you, embracing your Divine Femininity means allowing yourself to be very worshipped and celebrated. I sense that could make some of you kind of uncomfortable but it's part of your spiritual path actually. You have this amazing goddess power within you (again, regardless of your gender, this is about energy). You were meant to be viewed as this absolutely gorgeous, exalted, abundant being that people really respect and adore.
Some of you may work closely with a particular goddess or have her as a Guide. Freya and Aphrodite are coming through, in particular. Aphrodite, especially, because of the rose quartz in this picture. You are like a goddess of beauty and love in your own right. Also, honestly, I am getting Regina George energy and I don't mean that in a negative way. (Rachel McAdams' version, of course, not the recent one) Obviously, Regina has her toxic traits but she is so beautiful and confident and magnetic, such a leader yet so feminine. And everyone is obsessed with her. You are seen that way and have that kind of impact on others. Yes, I am gassing you up! Accept it.
You definitely could have Fire sign placements in your chart (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) as well as the sign Pisces. You are very reflective and have more depth than some realize. Yet, you are also very self-assured. Knowing that you are that baddie that you have always felt you were is the key to your feminine expression. You know your worth and absolutely will not compromise it. In romance, in particular, you do not settle or accept poor treatment at all and that only makes you more attractive. Overall, you really don't struggle much with self-esteem. This also gives you the confidence needed to go after what you want in life. You live in a very bold, very daring way that only makes you more admirable. You are not afraid to take risks and make the most out of life.
Yet, there is also this juxtaposition to that ballsy spirit that is soft and sweet. Or maybe people just think you're so soft and sweet without realizing what a force of nature you really are until you have to show them who they're dealing with. Many of you may be very creative and love to perform. As an actor or singer, you could display that fierce side of you. I am getting like this amazing stage presence or screen presence. Your confidence in putting yourself out there helps as well as your natural sex appeal. A lot of people will fantasize about you and, in terms of your dating life, many will want to claim you as theirs. But, you belong to yourself, above all. I also feel like being very comfortable in your sexuality and owning/flaunting it, like a bombshell movie star or hot main pop girl, will serve you very well. Be that siren you know you can be!
Also, I feel compelled to say it's not just about looks. It's your aura, your sensuality, your magnetism and spirit. That attractiveness comes from your soul, more than anything, and that's why it's divine.
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PILE 2
Page of Swords
(clarified by: The Hermit)
Six of Wands
(clarified by: Six of Swords)
Temperance
(clarified by: Page of Wands)
Ten of Swords (back of the deck)
Pile 2, I feel like your feminine expression is very introverted and internal. I immediately got the feeling that this pile is very studious and very intellectual. You may really, really love to read and could have genuinely enjoyed school growing up. I keep getting this image of Matilda, from the movie Matilda, of course (and the novel). I think many of you really enjoyed that film when you were kids and really identified with the main character. Your Divine Feminine self feels very connected to your inner child. Well, I think that's true for everyone. But, it's even truer for you because a lot of childhood pain is tied to this energy. You were very smart, introspective, observant and mature, like Matilda. And, similarly, you seem to have dealt with a lot of mistreatment at that age, too, likely at the hands of family or parents.
It might seem like that turbulence has followed you throughout your life. But, you are very diligent in terms of working through the trauma. You are a healer and have had to be a healer toward yourself. The good news is that there is no way you'll be a negative product of your environment. You have found the inner wisdom and awareness needed to rise above where you came from. This stems from your Divine Feminine self because feminine energy, after all, allows us to look deeply within and reflect. Sometimes, you are very withdrawn and maybe not all that social. But, you're never just laying around, thinking about nothing. You are exploring every part of your soul and your mind.
Having this incredibly rich inner life could make you very creative. You could be a writer and I am getting a poet, particularly. The feeling you're giving me is of those confessional female poets who have turned their emotional pain or past trauma into beautifully crafted poems. Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton came to mind, specifically. I am also getting the names of female writers, in general, who wrote classic novels about their trauma, painful romances or other issues they wanted to explore, like the Bronte sisters, Alice Walker or Maya Angelou (who was also a poet). Any of these writers could hold a lot of significance for you. They are like role models and examples of your feminine energy: intelligent, intriguing and gifted storytellers.
Okay, I am also getting the image of female singer-songwriter types, like Fiona Apple or Alanis Morissette. That kind of deep, intelligent lyricism. The songs Sullen Girl or Never Is A Promise, both by Fiona Apple, could have resonant lyrics. Lana Del Rey is also coming through. I am hearing Cinnamon Girl by her. Also, her song Fishtail. (A lot of songs in this one!) So, yeah, it's safe to say that you are either very artsy, a thoughtful writer in some capacity, or you're obsessed with a female artist or two like this (or both). And this is specific to some of you but you may be guided by a famous female artist: a poet or songwriter or novelist. She may be acting as a guide to you, whether she has passed on or is still alive but just guiding you through her higher self, especially if you do the same kind of art she did/does. She is helping you develop your talent and succeed. That may sound a little wild/out there but you'll know if it resonates.
Essentially, a big part of your Divine Femininity is about turning your pain or sadness into beautiful art. I am also being told that if you are striving to be an artist in some capacity, your Guides want to assure you that you are going to be successful. It may not be international fame (or it could be) but you will find a solid following, to some extent, and touch many people and be able to support yourself from it. Yet, I am also being told to say that you don't have to thrive on being a "sad girl" (and I mean that in a gender neutral way). You could struggle with anxiety or depression yet, like a typical tortured artist, feel like you need to be unhappy in order to be creative. (Yeah, if you're not creative, this probably isn't your pile lol)
Thinking like that is bad for your mental health. Your talent doesn't stem from your pain. It stems from your creative soul, your high intellect, and your ability to transmute your pain. There is a message here to not take yourself too seriously. Don't overthink everything and allow yourself to just live! You are doing so much better at life and progressing so much more on your healing journey than you think. Also, you may not realize how much you channel and commune with Spirit when you do your art, including that potential Guide who was/is an artist. You have the power to pull from the other realm when you create, which is amazing. Your feminine energy is both a deep well and a medium for divinity. Remember Matilda wasn't just smart. She also had supernatural powers!
Also, as far as signs, there are a lot here. You could have birth chart placements in Air (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) or Fire (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius). Sagittarius is coming through very strongly. There is also Virgo energy here.
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PILE 3
The Sun
(clarified by: The Devil)
The Lovers
(clarified by: Three of Cups)
King of Wands
(clarified by: Knight of Swords)
The Tower (back of the deck)
Pile 3, I am getting a very interesting energy from your pile. First of all, you feel more androgynous, like there is such an equal amount of masculine and feminine within you that you can very easily switch back and forth between the two. Some of you may actually identify with being non-binary or gender fluid. But, that doesn't have to apply to everyone. You might have a hard time distinguishing your yin from your yang and not even want to label your energy in that way. As a result, people may sometimes not exactly know what to do with you and you may not often know what to do with yourself. You can suffer from deep insecurity at some stage in life because you feel like you're not enough of a boy or enough of a girl.
Well, I just have to say that is total bullshit and there's no such thing as being the ideal boy or ideal girl. It's a bunch of regressive ideas that are projected on to each gender and it only has to mean what you allow it to mean. While you might have taken a lot of shit growing up for your gender non-conforming ways and struggled with your self-esteem or self-confidence because of that, you were meant to stand out in this way! I feel like there is, specifically, a history of conventional behavior in your family that you may be destroying. All of the women in your family could have, for instance, conformed to restrictively "ladylike" or passive behavior. And if you're a woman, it may be your role to destroy that pattern. Or vice versa, if you're a male who witnessed a lot of toxic masculinity in your family.
I think the best way to describe your Divine Feminine self is that it doesn't rely on outdated ideas about femininity. It bends genders and breaks rules. I am also getting that you may be drawn to male role models who are very androgynous or embody a form of femininity. I am getting David Bowie, in particular, and his song, Rebel Rebel. I am also getting drag, like drag queens. You may love RuPaul's Drag Race and have a particular queen who you find very entertaining or reflects your personality. You might also know men irl who are more feminine and serve as inspiration. I am getting the feeling that many of you are female but more inclined to look up to feminine men because you just relate to them more. Or, if you're a man, you're just being challenged to look toward male role models who have more feminine energy.
Yeah, this is a very interesting pile. I feel like you have yet to begin to explore this true self but you are on the verge of it. Maybe you just recently had a Tower moment that showed you that the way you were living your life was painfully inauthentic, whether that was regarding your career, your love life or your identity. Some of you may even be coming out as gay or bi or trans or non-binary or you have recently. If so, just know that I am so proud of you and your Guides are so proud! Living your life honestly and fully is so, SO much more valuable than what anyone might think. This reading feels more like particular guidance and encouragement you needed to hear than anything else.
You could have Gemini or Capricorn energy in your chart, Fire placements (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius), especially Leo, or Air placements (again Gemini, Libra, Aquarius). You have had some demons you've had to deal with. Some of you may have even seen yourself as a demon in the past lol. Well, you're a lovable demon. No, I'm kidding. But, a lot of your past unhappiness came from not being who you were meant to be. You compensated for that with some kind of addiction, whether it was drugs/alcohol, sex, work, or even anger. Anything can be an addiction. I'm hearing Rehab by Amy Winehouse. It is possible to change and it doesn't have to be so scary!
I kind of feel like I lied to your pile with this reading because I am not getting many messages about your feminine self lol. But, this is only because you honestly have such toxic ideas about what masculine and feminine means that have been ingrained in you. So, you have a lot of unraveling to do in regards to that. But, it will be incredibly healing because you'll finally get to embrace your real self. And, yeah, for some reason, there is this insistent message about some sort of role model or even a guide in the form of a person that you know who will help you do this. It could be a male with a lot of feminine energy or a woman with heavy masculine energy. Possibly someone you're romantically interested in or attracted to. Take that as it resonates.
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PILE 4
Seven of Wands
(clarified by: The Hanged Man)
Knight of Wands
(clarified by: Knight of Cups)
The World
(clarified by: Ace of Pentacles)
The Lovers (back of the deck)
Pile 4, your Divine Feminine expression makes people want to cuff you. You have that "wifey" energy, whether you are male or female. You might seem especially supportive or caregiving or nurturing. Suitors could feel like you would make an excellent spouse and parent, that they could build a family with you and have it all with you. But, I also think this marriage-material energy you have is due to you being such a romantic and so full of love. You have a very powerful heart chakra that is very open. Your feminine energy is an expression of unconditional love and it gives you a very magnetic aura.
I'm hearing All Is Full Of Love by Bjork. You are very spiritual and deeply feel the love from Spirit and your Guides. You embody that kind of higher love. Some may see you as some type of earth angel. The energy I am getting here is reminiscent of Aaliyah. You might be a big fan of her and her music. But, she just had such a kind, loving, peaceful aura and everyone who knew her said she was so beautiful and angelic. She was very much a Divine Feminine being and you have that same type of energy. Aaliyah also had a way of really making men fall for her without doing much, which is another kind of feminine magnetism. I can see you having the same effect on your preferred sex. You attract Divine Masculines like honey attracts bees! At any given time, you have multiple options, though you're not the kind to boast about that.
In fact, it's not always fun because you have felt like you have had to kiss a lot of frogs, so to speak. You will eventually learn from this, though, and get to a point where you are much more discerning and selective with who you give that precious romantic energy to. However, this only makes you even more attractive and irresistible to those admirers! Sometimes, you have a bit of a Belle vibe, from Beauty and the Beast, where you have quite a few Gaston's chasing you and you couldn't care less. That Don't Impress Me Much by Shania Twain is coming through. That's your attitude, sometimes.
Also, because you're so spiritual, it's hard for you to meet someone who matches your values and your frequency. The material things some masculines want to provide is secondary to you. You're the type of feminine who cares much more about being appreciated, respected and valued than financially provided for (although that kind of help is nice, too). And it's also hard for you to meet someone who truly sees you. People are often so busy idealizing you as perfect that they don't see all your dimensions. But, the right person, your true counterpart, will.
There are many signs in this pile. There is Leo energy emphasized, as well as the other Fire signs, Aries and Sagittarius. We have Water: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces. We have extra emphasis on Pisces, too. Gemini energy is present, as well. So, you could have any of those placements. You are a VERY multifaceted being. Your Divine Femininity is versatile. You can be many types of feminine energy: a mother, a goddess, a high priestess, a seductress, an innocent. Sometimes, it's downright confusing to others. I feel like you can easily get defensive or frustrated when others have the wrong perception of you and you're being guided to just allow yourself to be misunderstood. Not everyone has to get you.
I also think you're meant to embody the Divine Feminine half of a Divine Union in this life. You definitely either have a twin flame or high-level soulmate who has or will play a huge, transformative role in your life. It also feels like you will have multiple spiritual connections romantically, like a twin flame AND a soulmate or two. You are proof that you don't have to limit yourself to one in this life. You may find yourself in a serious connection with either of them or both of them, at different points. You will probably also be forced to choose between one or the other at some point. That feels like a specific message for some of you.
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Thanks for stopping by! You can check out my other readings and posts here:
MASTER LIST
300 notes · View notes
geopsych · 3 months
Note
re: the tumblr ai stuff, please don’t wipe your blog!! your blog has been so important to me and many others as a place of authentic light and beauty and i would hate to lose it forever 💕
there is a way to download the contents of a tumblr blog (it’s in settings, i don’t remember rn, but i’ll find it if you need it) maybe you could upload to another site or a personal site?
i know this is very serious, and i hate how we are unwillingly contributing to synthetic art, but the world would be poorer for me without your pictures <3
Thank you. Your words mean a lot to me.
This is a dilemma for me. I have loved doing this blog and going out to look for pictures and interesting things to bring here has given me motivation and meaning through years of struggle with depression and several kinds of grief. Going out to look for pictures has put me in situations where I have seen incredible beauty, much of which I never really managed to capture. Also, the many warm and kind messages I've received from people all over the world have given me heart and made me feel less meaningless as a person and more connected. Sometimes I've been criticized for buying the checkmarks and giving money to Tumblr but I wanted to do what I could because Tumblr has been my one happy and safe place online. But now this. To me AI in relation to creativity is just a way for well-to-do but untalented people, the proverbial tech bros, to profit from other people's hard work and creativity. It has no redeeming value in relation to creativity and is actively harmful to artists of all kinds. <trying to figure out how to put a read more link here> I don't even count myself among the real creatives, artists and writers and others who have worked hard and put years into honing their crafts, into learning to translate their hearts and unique spirits into their creative expression. I just see beautiful things and take pictures of them. But it would still make me sick to see AI works based on my pictures, on these times and places that have meant so much to me. Recently I saw a set of cat 'photos' on here that everyone was reblogging and exclaiming over but that to me seemed to just be AI art that was more convincing than most. As time goes on more and more output of AI is going to be almost indistinguishable from real works and unscrupulous people will pass them off as real, getting credit for what was actually created by others. Whether they profit from them becomes almost irrelevant at that point because what's worse is that we will have less and less sense of what is real. And as some have pointed out AI will now also be scraping from AI, muddying the waters further from here on in. This is an apocalypse of sorts, an apocalypse of creativity, ultimately likely to kill the joy of artistic endeavor for many who would otherwise produced brilliant, beautiful, funny, and/or shockingly original things. I'm still parsing and dissecting my thoughts and feelings about what Tumblr has done and how to react. Staying and leaving my blog up feels like consent. I am not confident in the integrity of anyone connected with scraping sites for AI. I'm not convinced that a little toggle in settings is going to make much of a difference in the long run. On the other hand I like posting here and I have received enough messages over the years to know that my blog is a positive influence on some lives. I was looking forward to May and June and posting pictures of the incredible beauty of eastern Pennsylvania in those months. And I was planning on making a side blog for posting some poetry I've been working on. It will break my heart to leave.
I haven't decided yet. Believe it or not this whole thing has given me awful physical symptoms. I'll let you know when I decide. Thank you again for your kind and lovely note!
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misc-obeyme · 11 months
Note
hello o/ anon who requested the brothers turning into cats forever ago here!!
can i request mc turning into a cat this time?? whether the brothers already had the experience and know what the cure is is up to you!!
Welcome back, anon!
I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this! I got it right in the middle of my prompt event so I had to sit on it for a few days.
Anyway, that cat request was so fun, I definitely wanted to do this one, too! I can only assume it's because I'm totally a cat person that I find these so enjoyable to write lol. And someone has also requested the dateables turning into cats, so I will be posting that part two soon as well.
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the brothers react to GN!MC turning into a cat and breaking the curse with true love's kiss
Warnings: none!
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Lucifer
Recognizes you right away. He can probably sense the magic that turned you into a cat to begin with. If you seek him out for assistance, he's going to be the one who knows exactly what to do. If he's alone when you first find him, he's going to be struck by just how cute you are as a cat. Picks you up and holds you tucked against his chest. Start purring to really make his cuteness tolerance overload.
He's not going to let you go anywhere. Depending on how long you're in cat form, he's going to want to make sure you're taken care of. Keeps you in his lap while he does research into what needs to be done to restore you back to normal.
If he finds out that this was a result of something you did - such as a prank gone wrong or a messed up potion - he is going to lecture you the entire time you're a cat. You can't talk back or leave, so he's taking full advantage. You should be more careful, MC. You're just lucky you have him around to help you when you get into this kind of trouble.
Doesn't even hesitate upon discovering the cure is true love's kiss. Picks you up from his lap and kisses your nose. You turn back still in his arms. He's going to smirk and put you down on his lap again. You'll have to stay there for a while because he's not going to let you go.
Mammon
He's confused at first. He probably went looking for you only to find a cat where he thought you would be. As soon as it clicks that you are the cat, he panics. Freaks right out, scooping you up into his arms and running around the house to find any brother who can help him turn you back.
MC! MC, can ya hear him?! You better meow or something so he knows you're okay. He'll calm down eventually, especially when everybody starts trying to find the cure. He'll sit down with you, but the worry will be evident in his expression. Make him feel better by kneading at him and purring. Butt your head into him to demand pets. Your cuteness will be enough to get him to settle down.
The others are probably the ones who figure out what's going on. Not that he couldn't, just that he's too busy stressing out about you. If you're a cat for a while, you become his bag cat - kinda like those tiny purse dogs. He's gonna keep you with him all the time and that includes RAD. So into the book bag you go!
Someone finally tells him that the only way to bring you back is true love's kiss. If he thinks about this too much, he gets too flustered to even try it. Does it mean that it has to be your true love? Or is it enough that you're his true love? Forces himself not to think about that too much. It doesn't matter, as long as you're back to normal! Kisses your fuzzy head. Melts in relief when you change back. He's more traumatized by this experience than you are. Please hold him for a while.
Leviathan
Doesn't realize it's you at first. Most likely you are the one who came looking for him and now he's just worried about this random cat that got into the House of Lamentation. What if it tries to eat Henry 2.0? Might try to shoo you out of his room. You might have to do something like use his computer to type out a message to let him know that it's actually you. If you do this, he might just think you're an amazingly smart cat until he reads the message. Then he's like ohhhh wow okay duh.
He's going to apologize for not recognizing you. But then he's going get a little nervous about the fact that you are a cat?! How did this happen? How does he change you back? Oh, but MC, you are a really cute cat. If you stay a cat for a little while, he's going to make cat cosplay outfits for you. Famous anime cat? That's you now.
Won't let you leave his room. Too protective of you and he doesn't want you to get lost or hurt. Doesn't go back to RAD so he can make sure you stay safe. If you really want to watch him get all flustered, curl up in his lap and start purring while he's playing video games.
After much online research, Levi figures out that the only thing that will bring you back is true love's kiss. His first thought is to bring you to Lucifer so you might have to meow in protest until he realizes what you want. He's going to be blushing like crazy, but he'll force himself to kiss your cute kitty cheek. When you're back to normal, go ahead and kiss him again.
Satan
The instant he sees you, you're in his arms and he's taking you to his room. The House of Lamentation has a strict no cats rule and he doesn't want Lucifer to see you. Doesn't realize it's you until he gets you in his room and actually looks at you more closely. Satan is pretty observant and he's a smart demon, so he puts it all together pretty quickly.
Blushes because he's embarrassed by how cute he thinks you are. MC. He's sure you want to be back to your usual self. But he would like you stay a cat for a little while. Won't you indulge him? You can express how you feel about this by either purring or hissing. If you purr at him, he's going to keep you in his room and pamper you. If you hiss, though, he's going to get to work on finding out how to fix you.
Won't let anyone else in the House of Lamentation know what's going on. Keeps you hidden in his room the entire time you're in cat form. Tells his brothers that you went to the human world for a few days. Comes up with some bizarre reason for this. Like you need to bathe in human world rain for three days or else you get really sick, that's just a fact. Didn't they know that about humans? Gets Solomon to back him up because everyone is suspicious of this.
Since Solomon now also knows the truth, Satan gets him to help with research into the cure. Eventually they figure out it's true love's kiss that will do it. He's a little sad that you'll no longer be a cat. He takes a lot of pictures of you so he can remember this forever. But in the end, Satan does want you back to normal. He kisses your head. When you're back to your usual self, you get to decide if you get annoyed with him for making up that bogus story about humans. Either way, you end up kissing him again.
Asmodeus
MC, darling. Did you know you are a cat currently? Meow. Ah, so you are aware. Did you need him to help you with that? Meoow! Don't worry, Asmo's got this! But hang on, first let him brush out your fur, it's looking a little matted. And you know, while he's at it, why doesn't he add some cute little bows behind your sweet little ears? You know, your claws look like they need a trim, let him take care of that. He can paint them, too!
You end up in adorable kitty clothes. You can't complain really because you look fabulous. And being brushed feels good, so you can't help but purr in his lap while he does it. You might have to meow in protest eventually, though, so that he remembers that he needs to help you get back to normal.
Shows you off to everyone in the house. Gets angry at anyone who messes up your look. Gives you a new outfit every day that you're in cat form. Has you do a little cat fashion show, takes a bunch of pictures and videos. Can't stop himself from posting a video of you on Devilgram with some kind of cat walk pun as the caption.
He actually knew how to fix this from the start. He's heard of this particular curse before. And anyway, everyone knows that true love's kiss is a pretty standard curse breaker. He sits cross legged on his bed with you, holding you carefully in his arms. Then he kisses your head sweetly. You change back to your usual self, half sitting in his lap, half laying against his chest. He wraps his arms around you, letting you know that he prefers you in this form, after all.
Beelzebub
Doesn't recognize you at first. Thinks you must be a stray that Satan tried to sneak into the house behind Lucifer's back. He doesn't want to get involved in that. Might just turn right around and walk away, pretending he didn't see anything. Get his attention by stealing his snacks. Now you're a problem he can't ignore. Get him to chase you to your own room and start meowing at him. He's going to realize your room is empty at which point he figures it out.
He picks you up gently. Due to his height and size, you find this is actually better than being on the ground. Climb up onto his shoulder and perch there so you can see the world at more human-like height. He's content to let you stay there as long as you like as long as you don't get cat hair in his food. Likes to listen to you purr in his ear.
He's probably going to need some assistance figuring out how to bring you back to normal. Goes around asking everybody. Won't let them near you, though. You're clinging to his shirt with your claws, anyway. If he tried to dislodge you, he'd end up with many little holes in the shoulder.
Upon being told the remedy is true love's kiss, Beel takes you into the kitchen. You allow him to remove you from his shoulder and he puts you on the counter. Then he kisses your furry head. You return to your usual form, sitting on the kitchen counter. You might be a little disoriented at first, but he's there to hold onto you while you reorient yourself. He has a slight blush on his cheeks. He's glad your back, MC. Please be more careful. Kiss him for real to make him feel better.
Belphegor
Wakes up to find you snoozing on his head, curled up in a little fluffy ball. Just like Beel, he thinks you're one of Satan's strays at first. But then when you wake up and yawn, he knows it's you. He'd recognize your yawn anywhere. He's amazed that it's the same even when you're in cat form. But he's also going to sigh about the fact that you've somehow managed to turn yourself into a cat. Really, MC? How did you even do this?
Don't worry. He's lazy, but he cares too much about you to let you stay like this. You're certainly still an excellent napping buddy in cat form, but there's just something missing. He gets really protective of you, holding you in his arms the whole time. Never lets anyone else touch you. Makes everyone else figure out how to turn you back. He's too busy taking care of you to do it.
Of course that involves quite a bit of napping. Didn't you know that cats sleep for fifteen hours a day? He has to make sure you're getting the rest you need. You get to decide if you try to keep him awake or if you give in and curl up beside him. If you do sleep with him, all you've got to do is purr a little bit and Belphie will be so content he'll fall asleep before you do.
When he finds out that it's true love's kiss that will bring you back, he decides to take one last nap with you in cat form. It's when you're curled up beside him fast asleep that he kisses your whiskered cheek. When you wake up, you're back in human form and Belphie's arms are around you. He's out cold and you have no idea how long you've been back to normal. You can wake him up or you can snuggle closer to him and go back to sleep.
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masterlist | part 2 with the side characters | Thank you for reading!
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moonriverrise · 1 year
Text
Dreams are supposed to be subtle messages from your subconscious, right? Then why the hell did Eddie keep having the same type of dream every single night. The same dream featuring the same boy with chestnut hair, doe eyes, and freckles sprinkled all over.
He didn’t know the boys name, but he’s around Eddie’s age based on looks. His hair is styled in a certain way, swooped to the side almost perfectly. He’s pretty strong looking and pale skinned, and has the most wonderful laugh Eddie has ever heard.
In the dreams that Eddie had, he meets this boy under a tree in a long sunflower field. He’s always there before Eddie, sitting with his back against the trunk of the tree, staring at the sky or simply laying with his eyes shut.
Whenever Eddie came up to him, he was greeted with the same phrase every time, no matter what differences are in the dreams.
“Hello, Sunshine. How are you?”
It's sweet, and it warmed Eddie’s heart in a way he never thought something could. Then Eddie would sit down and they would have conversations about their lives. Because, this boy had a life, probably something Eddie’s brain made up.
“Oh, and Dust thinks he’s so much better than me just because he’s good at Algebra. Who the fuck is good at Algebra?!”
The boy is entertaining, he’s funny, pretty, charismatic. One dream he has, turns a bit different after the greeting, which is said more solemnly. Soon afterwards, the boy asks Eddie something.
“Have you ever kissed a boy before?” He asked. Eddie has paused.
“What do you mean?”
“Uhm…do you ever think you might like boys the way you like girls?” And Eddie had to pause again, because, thats how he had felt. That’s the questions he thought about, the ones he had asked Uncle Wayne.
“All the time.” Eddie responded.
“Is it..normal?” Eddie looked over to the boy, who looks nervous, scared.
“Of course. You can like whoever you want. People who don't think that are stuck up pricks.” Eddie expressed. The boy had laughed, gently. Then laid his head against Eddie’s shoulder, and then shut his eyes.
“I have a friend, you know that one I mentioned, Robbie?” Eddie hummed. “She likes girls, only girls. I want to tell her about this, but I'm afraid. Even though I know she couldn't possibly be mean, I just don't want to be abandoned.” Eddie sighed.
“It’s okay. You just need to take your time with it, talk yourself through it.” Eddie advised.
“Sunshine?”
“Yes?”
“Can I kiss you?” Eddie had paused, once again. He looked over at the boy, who looked up at him in response, through his lashes.
Eddie traced his face with his eyes, placed a gentle hand on his face, rubbed a thumb against the boys skin, who let his eyes blink closed. He leaned into Eddie’s touch, embraced him, his being.
Eddie leaned closer to the boys face. The wind whistled loudly, and birds sang in the background. Eddie let his other hand cup the boys face, and their lips met, slowly.
It was slow, but deep. Gentle, yet hungry. They parted and Eddie stared into the boys eyes, as tears settled in them. A brief flash of panic runs through Eddie’s blood…
The boy laughed, giggled like a birds song. He wiped his eyes and whispered into Eddie’s ear.
“Thank you, for all that you are.”
Eddie’s eyes had fluttered open that morning, and he felt comforted with a sense of kindness and the ghost of tender lips against his own.
Then, Eddie got up, and got dressed, ready to go to work at the cafe down the street from his apartment in Indianapolis.
Dustin walked up to him during his shift, he was wearing a hat from that summer camp he’d gone to a few years back.
“Hey Eddie,” He said.
“Hello, Henderson.” Eddie responded, giving him a look.
“Wow! Don't have to be hostile!” Dustin joked. “You know my buddy i've been meaning to introduce you to?”
“Your babysitter?” Eddie asked while pouring creamer into a cup of coffee.
“Yeah! Steve! He’s here, sitting next to me and Robin over there.” Eddie didn’t follow where he was pointing, instead decided to focus on throwing a portable cup onto the coffee then calling out the order number as he slid it across the counter.
“Alright, hold on dude. Gare! Can you take order for just a second! I'll be back in a minute!” Gareth groaned but begrudgingly walked over to the cash register. “Thank you, I promise to spare your next character in Hellfire.”
“You better, man.” Gareth responded as Eddie walked out to meet Dustin.
They both walked over to the table and Eddie froze entirely when he meets eyes with someone so familiar.
It's the boy from his dreams.
“Okay, Eddie this is Steve. Steve this is Eddie.” Eddie waved a hand in Dustin’s face to shut him up.
“Do I know you from somewhere?” Steve. that was his name. He asked him that, and Eddie nodded slowly.
“I know you from somewhere too,” He responded. Steve’s eyes went a bit wide, and he stood, facing Eddie.
“Sunshine?” Eddie nodded, vigorously.
“Guys…” Eddie shunned Dustin with his hands again.
“Robbie is Robin- the gay friend?” Eddie asked. Steve nodded. “Dust…that’s Henderson?” He nodded again.
“What the hell?-” Robin spoke up. Steve shushed her.
“You look exactly how you did before.” Eddie said to him. Steve smiled.
“You look even brighter in person,”
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