#I haven’t cried like this over a man since I was 12 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

myonedream · 3 months

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“With Love, Jun”

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✦ ⋆DNI Minors & Ageless Blogs⋆ ✦

A/N ~ Firstly, I just wanna say I love this man so much it’s insane. Secondly, god this was stressful, I worked on it for, a collective of probably 12 hours or more, idk. Which, is kinda embarrassing ngl. Anyway regardless, I put my whole pussy into this from yesterday into today to get it out in time for you guys (luckily had three paragraphs and the picture already done) so I really hope you all like it! There are some lines that truly make my head spin on god as I’m honestly really proud of this! Also I deeply believe y/n is gonna get a noise complaint someday if they haven’t already. Furthermore, it’s around 6k words if anyone’s wondering!

CW ~ Fluff & Smut! Idol Bf!Yeonjun x afab!reader (they/them pronouns are used & they’re not specified to be a girl but are feminine), Soft Dom!Yeonjun (man is so gentle & sweet), creampie (reader is on the pill but use protection or else!), praise, light dirty talk (gotta have it), use of names such as Baby, Love, Naughty Little Thing was used once along with Good Little Slut, corruption, fingering, squirting, bondage of the hands & feet, use of a collar & leash, y/n cries tears of pleasure, cum eating & spit. If I missed something, let me know!

~⋆ ✦ ⋆~Smut Under Cut!~⋆ ✦ ⋆~

You’ve been with your bf, Yeonjun, for almost a year now, you genuinely can’t express how happy you are with him. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a boyfriend: sweet, caring, romantic, fun, funny and of course, hot as hell. Just the way he looks at you makes your heart beat out of it’s chest. His soft, plump lips making your head spin whenever they meet yours. His toned arms making you feel safe whenever he wraps them around you. You love him more than anything and he’s absolutely obsessed with you in the cutest way. So of course you have many things planned for your first Valentine’s Day together. You think he only plans to cook dinner at your place as it’s just easier to do it there than at the dorm but later find out that’s not entirely the case.

And here you are, sitting in your apartment on the living room floor, the night before the day of love, getting together your big basket of goodies for your boyfriend. Writing out gushes of love on a handmade card and putting on his favorite lipstick to kiss it all over, only to then spray your perfume on it as well. It may be a cliché but it’s something you’ve always wanted to do and as he is your first real boyfriend, obviously you have to do it for him. You finish it and put it into the basket along with his favorite candy, a brand new bottle of cologne, a photo album of all the polaroids you’ve taken since you’ve been together, a heart shaped picture frame you decorated with a photo of the two of you inside it and a fox plush you dressed up like him.

You know you don’t have to do all this, he tells you all the time you don’t have to give him any gifts as being yours is plenty enough for him, but you can’t just not. You’ve always loved giving gifts, especially meaningful ones, so you always go all out for him anyway which he loves regardless. With the final pink ribbon wrapped atop the handle, you pick up the basket, walking over to the kitchen to set it down on the counter. Briefly you look over at the clock on the stove to see Valentine’s Day is already here. You’ve been so focused on making his gift that night you didn’t even realize how late it was. “Shit, I better get some sleep if I want tomorrow to be as good as I’ve hyped it up to be” you express to yourself. With that you collect your things scattered around the living room to place them back where they all belong. Having rushed around the house for the past 20 minutes you finally have it all cleaned up and so you turn off all the lights, heading to your room in the pajamas you already put on hours ago. You come in and get situated in bed, setting an alarm on your phone before putting it on your nightstand and cuddling into your covers, falling asleep.

The loud sound of your favorite punk song rattles through your apartment, jolting you out of bed instantly as you reach to turn it off. The sun peaks through your bedroom curtains coating your room in golden light. It’s currently 9am and Jun plans to come over at around 4, after dance practice, to start cooking so you know you have adequate time to add the decorations around the place and make yourself extra beautiful for him. Regardless you waste no time, getting up sleepily and shuffling into the kitchen to pour yourself some coffee to help kickstart your day. You drink it quickly as you open the cupboards for all the decorations, large rolls of dark pink and red silk ribbon, cherry red lace bows, fresh pink and red rose petals, heart shaped confetti, pink and red light bulbs, multiple containers of biodegradable glitter, etc. Pulling them all out and laying them out in front of you on the counter.

Putting on your love song playlist, you bring out the step ladder. You have a lot of work ahead of you so you begin with the silk ribbon, wrapping it around the doorways and across the ceiling from one corner of the room to the next, lining every room in your 1 bedroom apartment at the top in dark pink and red. In the middle of the front doorway you place one of your biggest bows, sewing on matching red petals onto it to add a special touch. Using the rest of the bows across the house throughout the ribbons and on the bedposts. Then you go around replacing the light bulbs in your apartment, making some pink and some red. You do this everywhere besides in your bathroom so you have good lighting to get ready in and besides a few lights in the kitchen so he has proper lighting to cook in. You’re then sprinkling the confetti, glitter and rose petals into pathways going from one room to the next. Swiftly you bring out two heart light projectors and place one in the living room and the other in your bedroom. Whilst in there you change your sheets to your new silk red ones and place pink heart pillows on top along with a fluffy pink blanket draped across the bottom on the bed. Whilst in there you take white roses and place them around the pillows on the bed. For the rest of the pillows you have, you stick them on your couch. Now you’re placing vases of white, red and pink roses all around the house. Finally you get to the finishing touch of putting up your lace pink and white curtains in your bedroom and living room you dyed specially for this occasion, placing the old ones into the hallway closet.

After all this running around, it’s 2pm already and you sit down on your couch for a second, taking a moment to check your phone to see messages from Yeonjun you didn’t hear the ringtone for over the music. Opening the messages you read:

“Sorry baby, I’m gonna be a little later than expected. Probably will be around your place at 6 instead. I’m so sorry, don’t worry I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I love you 💕”

Just seeing that message made your heart sink since you know you won’t have as much time as you wished to have with him. Though seeing him type ‘I love you’ made your heart flutter every time as if it was the first. With a melancholy feeling you respond with:

“Don’t worry about it Junie, I know you can’t help it. I’ll still be here regardless. I love you too ❤️”

With that you close your phone, placing it face down on the couch and turn off the music. You can sense you’ll need the extra time so you head to the bathroom to begin getting ready.

You heat up the shower as you remove your clothes before getting in and scrubbing off all the sweat and glitter of the earlier antics. Exiting after 45 minutes of cleaning and shaving every inch of your body, just in case, since you’re not entirely sure what the night might have in store for the two of you. The whole bathroom steamed up extremely so you open up the door to defog, walking out in your robe and into your room. You then enter your closet to pick up a beautiful, shiny white, square neckline dress that flares out in layers of soft ruffles at your waist. The straps just thick enough to look proper with the structured bodice, dress resting a few inches above your knee. Simple but cute. With that in hand, you head over to your shoes and pick up a pair of white suede, chunky, square tipped heels with a ribbon strap. Additionally you pull your accessories out that consist of a white ribbon choker, a pair of silver dangling heart earrings and four pieces of white ribbon for your hair. Before leaving the closet you grab a white lace pair of panties from your dresser drawer. Hurriedly you rush into your room and rest most of all of it on the bed. The only thing not being the ribbons for your hair, still held in your hand.

You go over to your vanity, resting the ribbons atop it and turning on the lights that surround the mirror. Sitting down, you begin working on your hair, which you dyed cherry red specifically for this occasion, curling it in the perfect tightness to wrap into two buns on either side of your head, using one ribbon wrapped around the bottom of each. Both tied with a neat bow. You take the remaining two ribbons and braid one into each thin braid resting off the side of your face, after your tendrils, tying them off with smaller bows. Now styling your soft bangs into an upside down heart shape delicately onto your forehead. You look into the mirror and almost laugh, you think to yourself: “Wow I look like cupid threw up on me.” But still continue in suppressed giggles.

After getting up temporarily to do your skincare routine and brush your teeth you head back into your room to sit down at the vanity once more to start your makeup. Applying your foundation and concealer softly, setting it with powder, bronzing around your face, and making your eyebrows fluffy, full and red to match your new hair. You then blush your cheeks, under your eyes and onto the tip of your nose. Now shifting focus to work on your eyeshadow, brushing on a soft, sheer pinkish red shade all over your lid, into your crease and under your eyes. Taking a pink, heart shaped glitter with your fingers, you press it into the center of your lid and apply eyegloss on top of the glitter and shadow. You also tightline your upper waterline with a matte hot pink eye pencil, putting the same into your lower waterline, dragging it out onto your outer corners slightly. With a shimmering light pink, almost white, highlighter you sweep over your brow bone, high points of your cheeks, down your nose bridge, on the tip of your nose and onto your cupid’s bow. Taking your mascara you apply it on your top and bottom lashes, adding half false lashes onto the outer corners to flare them out. Eventually you get to your lipstick, applying a sheer pink balm on first and then a pretty red in the center in a near heart shape, blending it out softly to give an ombré effect. With one final step, you spray your face with a dewy setting spray with a fine glitter sheen to make yourself shiny.

With your makeup done you clean up your vanity and go into the bathroom once again to wash the makeup off your hands and freshly done white nails. You take off your robe as you re-enter your room, then applying deodorant and spraying a fine glitter mist all over your body. Putting on your underwear and zipping yourself into your dress to then sit down on the bed so you can put on and tie the ribbon of your shoes into a bow around the back of your ankle. Getting up you lean over your vanity, tying your choker on and putting in your earrings. Then picking up your favorite, light floral and amber scented perfume and spraying it on your neck, behind your ears and onto your wrists, rubbing them together. Resting it back onto the vanity where it belongs and turning off the vanity lights.

Finally you’re done as you walk into your living room and pick up your phone you left on the couch. Turning it on you reveal the time is 5:45 and you have another missed message from Yeonjun. You open it up to read:

“On my way, love 💗”

Which he sent only a few minutes ago and you respond with:

“Okay, baby 🫶🏻”

Now heading into the kitchen, you place your phone atop the counter to then pull out two wine glasses and rosé. Filling up both and sitting down at your island, scrolling through social media and patiently waiting for your boyfriend to arrive.

With what felt like an eternity, you finally hear a knock at your door, making your face light up and blush instantly with nerves. You put down your phone and adjust yourself slightly before walking over to the door to open it to your smiling boyfriend holding a giant bouquet of your favorite flowers, a pink gift box wrapped neatly in a bow and a giant bag of ingredients. Almost instantly his face blushes at the sight of you and he goes “Holy shit y/n, you look incredible. You dyed your hair red?!” You giggle and answer with “Yeah, I did it specially for tonight, y’know to fit the theme” as you let him in. “Well I love it, it looks great” he expresses as he walks in and you close the door behind him, taking the heavy bag of ingredients from him and setting them on the counter. The man is turned away from you, looking at all the decorations, in a soft voice you hear him ask “You did all this for me?” “Well yeah, I love you” you chuckle. Instantly he turns around to look at you, walking over to put down the flowers and present box. He then approaches you, his eyes full of love as he cups your face in his hands and leans in so close you can smell his cologne, to kiss you softly with his plush lips. “I love you too, baby” he says in a whisper after removing his lips from yours, leaving a soft pink tint on them from your lipstick. You feel your heart flutter and trying to keep your composure you stare into his eyes and tease “Nice lipstick, Jun.” He lets out a soft laugh and is quick to say “Hey, boys gotta look pretty too!” before wiping it off.

“But I will never look as good as you,” he claims, “I really didn’t have enough time to get ready so pardon my appearance.” You look at him, once again, understating how beautiful he is in a pink silk dress shirt, fitted black dress pants, black platform shoes and his black hair parted just perfectly. “Pardon what? You look great!” you reply with a slight smack to his arm to which you then squeeze slightly to get a feel of. He laughs and goes “Thank you, baby. But not as good as you.” He takes his hands and places them on your hips, lifting them under your dress and up to your ass, giving it a slight squeeze. You let out a slight whine and he says to you “Also, you don’t have to get secret feels of me, just ask.” Leaning in after to place a kiss on your neck, still caressing your ass gently. With a soft moan you add “Junie… dinner.” “Oh yeah, almost forgot” he says as he removes his hands and turns to the ingredient bag he brought. He definitely didn’t forget.

“I’m gonna get a vase for these,” you say picking up the flowers and reaching into the cupboards for your last vase, “by the way, thank you for these.” “You’re welcome” he replies with a smile so big you can hear it in his voice along with the rustling of the ingredients he’s pulling out of the bag as your back is turned to him, filling the vase with water. Whilst you’re not looking he places the ingredient bag, no longer full of ingredients but rather with some special items he hoped to use tonight, in the lower cupboard. You turn around, unaware, and place the flowers in the now filled vase and stick them on the table in the living room, looking over to your loving boyfriend preparing to cook. Finally it seems he notices your basket on the counter, that your forgot to move earlier, looking at it he asks “Is this for me?” You rush over instantly, grabbing it before he can look at it closer, “Yes, but for after dinner” you announce, putting it into the hallway closet next to your old curtains. “Okay, okay, guess you’ll want to wait for your gift too?” he asks. “Yes, in fact let me move it into the closet with your gift” you add, grabbing it off the counter and sticking it in the closet as well. He giggles “Alright but no peeking.” You stare at him as he begins cooking, fake upset and go “I would never peek! How dare you assume I would!” With that little smirk of his he responds “Says a chronic peeker.” “I only peeked once!” Whilst chopping herbs he rebuttals with “It was your birthday gift though.” With a tone of a child in trouble you say barely audibly “But it was really big… how could I not?” He starts laughing at the top of his lungs and asks “What are you? In trouble or something?” “Well some punishments are fun so I wouldn’t necessarily mind being in trouble” you tease, knowing damn well you couldn’t handle a punishment. “Relax yourself, you’ll get some after presents” he says in a deep voice, looking at you intensely, almost eye fucking you the way he always does. You gulp harshly feeling your cheeks light up like a fire and stutter out a “O-o-okay…” “Now come be good and help me” he declares, motioning you over.

After about 45 minutes, you are all done with dinner, well, Yeonjun is done with dinner as you’ve never been a great cook but you’re one hell of an assistant! He made cute, little pizza roses and heart shaped garlic knots from scratch. Fortunately he prepared most of the ingredients earlier today, like the dough and the sauce, to make it easier. “Wait wait,” you go, sprinkling the herbs on top of everything “boom, now I made them too.” He laughs, leaning over the counter, slightly sweaty from the heat of the oven. “Okay, you made them” you confess. “It’s okay,” he says as he grabs your hand and kisses it, “I wouldn’t have been able to do this without my beautiful assistant.” “Thanks, Junie” you blush. “Alright lets get these plated up” he exclaims as he’s grabbing plates from the cupboard. You move the untouched rosé and take the plates from him, setting up your counter as you can’t fit a dining table in your small apartment. Then Jun puts three roses and two hearts on each plate, grabbing a fork and knife for each of you from the drawer in case you need them. Which makes you quickly realize you forgot to take out the pink cloth napkins you bought.

“Oh fuck!” you exclaim, “forgot the goddamn napkins.” You can hear him chuckling as you run to the hallway closet once again, pulling them out. “Alright I got em’” you say putting one by each of your plates. “Now sit your ass down and drink some of the rosé, you bitch” you declare loudly, patting the seat next to you. “Okay, okay” he answers, putting his hands up and moving to sit down next to you. Before he can say anything you’re already shoving a pizza rose in your mouth, sauce dripping down your chin. “Baby, chill” he says whilst laughing and wiping your face for you as you stare at him eyes wide, embarrassedly. “Sorry, haven’t eaten yet today” you apologize. “And why not?” he asks mid garlic knot bite. You sink in your chair a little before replying quietly “Been busy getting everything ready for you.” With a smile he says “You know you didn’t need to do all this for me.” “I know, I just wanted to,” you exclaim, “and you also didn’t need to make these from scratch either but it is delicious, Junie.” “I know, I just wanted to” he replies with a smirk, “thank you, y/nie.”

Once dinner is done you excitedly put the dishes in the sink, hurrying into the bathroom to use some mouthwash, bringing some out for him. “Here, to erase the garlic” you say as you hand it to him, which he gladly accepts. As he’s swishing away those knots, you rush over to the closet to bring out your gifts. Putting the basket back onto the counter, you exclaim “Open mine first.” After spitting out the mouthwash into the sink, he wipes his hands off and walks over to it, saying “Alright then.” “Well there’s nothing to really open but y’know.” He laughs and begins pulling out the candy and cologne, “Oooooh,” he expresses as he looks at the candy, already opening it and eating some “my favorite.” “Stop eating and keep going” you rush him. “Alright I’m going,” he responds, pulling the cologne out of the box and spraying it on his wrist to sniff it, “oh that smells nice, thank you, baby.” “Oh, what’s this?” he asks pulling out the heart picture frame, “aw, you make this?” “Yeah and it’s not the only thing I made” you answer proudly. “Well it’s beautiful and definitely going on my nightstand” he gushes pulling out the photo album and plush. Laughing he asks whilst holding the fox, “This supposed to be me?!” You begin laughing yourself, “Yeah, you’re a fox!” “Is this what I look like to you?” he teases whilst holding it up to his face. “Honestly, yes” you admit. Furrowing his brow he shoots a glare at you, “Okay, I’ll take it as a compliment as it’s really cute and will be going on my bed.” “But this outfit,” he says pointing to it, “is proof that my fashion is truly better than Beomgyu’s.” “Yeah, okay, whatever you say.” “It is!” he yells in defense. “Just keep going and look in the photo album” you respond.

He begins looking through the album and you can see his eyes welling up. “You okay, Jun?” you ask worriedly. “Yeah,” he says softly, “it’s just sweet.” You walk over to him and rub his back, “I’m glad you like it,” you reply in a comforting tone, “but don’t cry yet, there’s still a card.” “Oh god,” he exclaims, “I’m not gonna make it.” With that he pulls out the card and opens it, reading it quietly to himself. After awhile you can see his eyes tearing up again before a tear begins to fall down his face and onto the cardstock. He reaches out his hand and grabs yours as he finishes reading. Eventually he let’s go of your hand to close the card and put it back into the basket quietly, wiping tears away as he does. After he does he turns to you and puts his hands on your waist, pulling you up onto the counter so you’re both at eye level. “Jun?” you ask worriedly. Leaning in closely to you, tears still in his eyes, he conveys “God, I love you so much” before smashing his lips into yours. Butterflies begin swirling in your stomach as you wrap your arms around his neck, briefly he breaks the kiss to say “Thank you, baby, I don’t deserve you.” Before smashing his lips into yours again, getting rougher by the moment, leaning in so close, you can feel his growing erection against you. “Jun, your present for me” you say pulling away in a near moan, leaving a string of saliva between both your lips. “Right, hold on, don’t move” he responds.

Quickly he grabs the gift box for you, handing it to you. You can see the horniness growing in his eyes so you waste no time to open it up, pulling out a silver heart shaped locket. You open it to see a picture of both of you inside, making you blush intensely. “Turn it around” he says to you. With so you do and on the back it says:

“To My Home

With Love, Jun”

With that you begin crying yourself, so much so you can’t even make out any words. Quickly he comes over to you, wiping the red eyeshadow tears away with his thumbs, leaning close to you as he holds your face to say “I know it’s a cliché but I’ve always wanted to do it.” “Funny, I said the same thing to myself about your card and basket” you laugh. Grabbing the locket, he puts it on for you, adjusting it to dangle perfectly. “Guess we’re just a bunch of lovedrunk fools” he replies with a giggle. “No, we’re happy fools,” you joke as he looks at you with a pained look, “sorry I had to.” In a burst of laughter he exclaims “It’s okay, just read my note so I can fuck you already” as he hands it to you. Your cheeks fill with heat as so does another part of you whilst you take the note from him. Your mind clouded with lust as you try desperately to read the note clearly, shaking your head to try and clear your thoughts. “Having trouble reading it?” he teases whilst moving his hand up your leg and to your core, stopping before he reaches it. “Yeah…” you say breathless. To then he pulls the note from your hands, “That’s okay, you can read it after.” He sets it down on the counter as he lifts you up again, wrapping your legs around him and you wrapping your arms around his neck as he carries you into your bedroom.

Gently he lays you down in the red silk of your sheets. “Wow, you decorated this place up a lot” he says with a chuckle before getting up and leaving the room. “Jun, what the hell?!” you express irritatedly. Not listening to your protests, he gets out his ingredient bag from under the cupboard and brings it into the room. “Sorry, baby,” he apologizes, opening up the bag to pull out a pair of pink leather handcuffs, “I was just hoping to try some new things tonight so I brought em’ with me.” Your eyes grow wide as you stare at them, scared of what else is in that bag. “Don’t worry,” he says gently, “I’ll go slowly with everything.” “You can trust me” he declares. Though you both have been together for almost a year, you’ve never done anything non-vanilla. You’d be lying if you weren’t excited however, so nervously you respond with “Okay, Jun, I trust you. Go ahead.”

Quickly your boyfriend leans over you and reaches under you to unzip your dress, pulling it off swiftly revealing your bare breasts and white lace panties. Tugging at them lightly he teases “Aw, put these on just for me, baby?” “Y-yes” you mutter. “Not much of a reason to,” he says as he pulls them down and off you, “they were just gonna come off anyway.” You nod in agreement as he lifts your arms up over your head, threading the cuffs through the slat of your headboard, tightening them on each of your wrists gently. “Too tight?” he asks. You shake your head, feeling your pussy beginning to glisten with arousal. “Good” he says leaning down to kiss you gently but passionately. He removes his lips from yours to say “Let me get the ankle cuffs.” “Ankle cuffs?” you ask, you didn’t even know those existed. He nods, grabbing them from the bag, “They’re meant to keep your pretty legs nice and open for me.” You blush heavily as your boyfriend sets them on the bed, they’re just like the handcuffs, even in a matching pink color, but have a rod attached in between the chains.

Leaning down, Yeonjun removes your shoes slowly, setting them on the floor in front of your bed. Softly he adjusts one of the cuffs around your right ankle and then the other around your left ankle as they naturally force your legs apart. He bends your legs at the knees as the fire begins to burn inside you, him noticing instantly as your breathing becomes heavier. “Getting impatient, baby?” he asks in a low whisper. “Mhmm” you whimper, everything was so new, it made you nervous but excited. Your eyes made their way to the bulge in his pants as he continued digging into the bag again, making your pussy clench around the air. “There’s just one more thing but you need to close your eyes.” “Okay, Junie” you say nervously, closing your eyes shut tight. Soon after you feel the ribbon of your choker being untied and another choker being placed around your neck, this one with a long chain dangling down and in between your breasts.

“Alright open your eyes” he says eagerly. So of course you oblige and see exactly what you felt resting in your cleavage. “Junie?” you ask, “is this a collar and leash?” Holding onto the handle of the leash, in the same color pink, he answers “Yes it is.” “Why would I need this?” you ask embarrassed that you weren’t more knowledgeable with these type of things. “To do this” he says as he pulls onto the handle and you feel the collar tighten around your neck. You let out a gasp and exclaim “Oh! That’s new.” It was hard to speak with it choking you but you found yourself enjoying the squeezing feeling. “New but good?” he asks, making sure you were okay. “Yeah, I like it,” you nodded, “but can you just fuck me already?” He lets out a giggle, responding with “Since you’ve been so patient and brave, of course.”

With that he sticks his head in between your legs, letting them rest atop him as he moves up your body to be face to face with you, leaning in to kiss you. Hurriedly he pushes his tongue through your lips, swirling it around yours, mixing the two of yours saliva together. While he sucks onto the length of your tongue he lifts his left hand up to your right breast, playing with your hard nipple between his index finger and thumb. With his right hand he grabs onto the handle of your leash and pulls it, making you moan into his mouth and your back arch. At this point his tongue is halfway down your throat, bulge pushed against your soaking, unclothed core, leaving a wet spot on his dress pants. Slowly, without breaking the kiss, he begins rutting himself against your clit as you arch your back again. Doing that until you whimper out.

Eventually he removes his lips on yours to suck onto your left nipple harshly, making you moan out in pleasure. As well as bringing his hand down to slip his middle and ring finger deep into your sopping cunt. “Oh fuck, Jun…” you whimper out onto his fingers thrusting in and out of you quickly. “That feel good, baby?” he asks lifting his mouth off your wet nipple, feeling you clench around his fingers. “God,” you say in between your moans, “yes.” “That’s what I like to hear” he expresses, holding your face to look at him. At this point your brain is clouded and your moans filling the empty space of your room, the petals of the roses you placed there earlier tickling your bare skin. Nothing to feel but pure pleasure as you lay there, naked and vulnerable to your boyfriend. Just as you thought you couldn’t feel better, Yeonjun starts rubbing circles around your clit with his thumb. “Mmm… god, fuck, Junie” you moan out. As he feels you clench around him, he softly conveys to you “Let it out, baby. Go ahead, cum for me.” As if a dam broke inside you, you feel yourself come undone as you squirt around his fingers that he continues to thrust into you. “Oh Junie!” you yell out as you soak the clean sheets underneath you. “That’s my baby, god, you’re so sexy” he coos at you as he leans in to kiss you desperately with desire. “Fuck,” he moans out in between kisses, “I need to be inside you.”

Without another thought, he removes the roses from the bed and onto the floor so the thorns don’t hurt you. Then he kicks off his shoes and unbuckles his pants, pulling them off with his boxers, revealing his hard, leaking member. Lining himself up with your soaked hole, you exclaim before he enters you “Please Junie, take your shirt off.” “You want me to remove my shirt, baby?” he asks. “Mhmm.” With that he unbuttons the silk of his shirt and removes it quickly, revealing his toned abs. Now realigning himself up with you, he gently inserts the tip of his cock into your pussy with a squelch. He lets out a slight moan as he works the rest of his length into you, making sure to be slow enough for you to get used to his size. You can feel yourself becoming fucked out already as he stretches you open for him, holding your hips for leverage. “Oh god” you moan out as he fills you up slowly.

Soon enough he’s all the way inside you, kissing your cervix with the tip of his cock. “Fuck, there you go,” he coos as he starts gently thrusting in and out,“god, you’re so tight.” “And you feel so good” you respond as he speeds up his thrusts, reaching down to pull on your leash, choking you lightly. Beginning to fuck you dumb, he pushes his, previously on your clit, thumb in your mouth, “Suck.” With that you do, cleaning the taste of you off him, swirling your tongue around it. Removing his thumb, still fucking you deep, he brushes it against your right nipple, dampening it. You moan out instantly, too fucked dumb to make out anything other than whines of pleasure. “Yeah, you like that, you naughty little thing?” he asks, adjusting himself to fuck you even deeper, making you yell out his name. You bite your lip and respond with “Mhmmmm” as you suppress tears of pleasure from falling down your cheeks. “Good, I like it too” he says in a grunt as he leans in to kiss your forehead.

He picks up the pace, making those red eyeshadow tears finally fall down your cheeks, wiping them away for you instantly. “That’s my good little slut,” he coos, “feels so good, doesn’t it?” “Yes, Junie” you moan out. Soon you begin to feel that familiar knot in your stomach as you clench around him. “Aw, fuck baby,” he exclaims, “you’re gonna make me cum if you squeeze me in any harder.” “Can’t… help it… feels so good” you whimper. Tugging on your leash some more, his pace doesn’t slow down as before you know it, that knot unties and you cum harshly on his cock. “Juuunie!” you yell as you quiver around him. “Oh fuck, gonna cum too” he says. Barely able to make it out through your moans you exclaim “Don’t pull out, on the pill.” Which is all he needs hear as he fills your hole with his cum and ears with his moans. “God, I love you so much” he says still pumping you full. “I love you too, Junie.”

Pulling himself out, he stares down at your ruined cunt, dripping his cum out. Suddenly he has his head in between your legs, cleaning up the mess he created, tongue digging out his cum from inside you. You moan out instantly at the sensation as he eats out most of his cum from your hole before leaving the rest in his mouth. Slowly he makes his way up to your face, resting his thumb on your chin before muttering out “Open.” To which you do, making him spit the rest of his cum into your mouth and kiss you harshly. Shoving his tongue in, he mixes his cum and your arousal with both of yours spit, before pulling away. You swallowing instantly after. “What was that for?” you ask. “I had to clean you up” he responds with a smirk. “Think it’s time I read your note?” you ask with a chuckle. “Read it whenever you like,” he says, “I gotta release my baby from their shackles right now.”

⋆‧̍̊ ·̊ ~⋆ ✦ ⋆~ ·̊ ‧̍̊ ‧̍̊ ·̊ ~⋆ ♡ ⋆~ ·̊ ‧̍̊ ‧̍̊ ·̊ ~⋆ ✦ ⋆~ ·̊ ‧̍̊⋆

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andromeda4004 · 1 year

Text

Chapter 12 sneak peak

Morningstar Abbey

I’m not going to be posting a full chapter today (I haven’t finished writing it yet) but I thought you would like a peak at a new character we will meet when our boys arrive at Morningstar itself. It’s my (questionable) pleasure to introduce General Lucius Crowley...

The carriage has driven from Bath and is drawing up outside Crowley’s family home:

They slowed to a trot on the drive, where a laden travelling carriage was waiting, a team of four fine horses stamping their feet and huffing in the cold air.

“Damn it,” Crowley muttered. “He hasn’t left yet.” He forced a smile. “Looks as though you’ll have the chance to meet the old man, after all.”

“Oh! I shall be glad to,” though Aziraphale had heard enough of the General to have formed a most unfavourable impression of him.

“I wouldn’t be sure of that.”

Crowley drew the phaeton to a stop with a final crunch of gravel, and leapt down, handing the reins to a boy who ran out from the shadow of the building. Adam scorned the offered hand and jumped down himself, but Aziraphale was glad to take it, both for the assistance and the plausible excuse to feel Crowley’s hand in his, if only for a moment.

“Adam!” a voice cried. Aziraphale dropped Crowley’s hand and whipped around to look at the doorway, where a tall gentleman stood framed by the gothic archway. Aziraphale recognised him without hesitation. There could be no mistaking that face, which Madame Tracy had immediately seen in Crowley when first they met.

Adam walked up the steps towards him. “Good afternoon, Father,” he said, extending a hand to shake, and had his hair ruffled for his efforts.

“Glad to have you home, boy! And you, Anthony! Still making a fool of yourself with that random-tandem team, I see. And this must be our guest!”

Crowley visibly braced himself and pinned a smile in place as they approached. “Father! I should like to introduce-”

“Mr Fell,” said the General, extending a strong hand towards Aziraphale. “Or is it Reverend Fell?” His teeth were remarkably white and straight in his wide, welcoming grin.

“Oh, ah, Mr Fell is quite – ah, I only use Reverend when at my work,” Aziraphale managed. “You must be the General; I am indebted to you for the invitation, truly it is kind of you-”

“Nonsense, Mr Fell, you are most welcome here at Morningstar. Adam speaks well of you, and that must be enough to recommend you to me.” The General released his hand and Aziraphale did his best to marshal his thoughts.

Lucius Crowley was remarkably like his second son, in height and build and sense of style, his back unbent and head held proudly despite being evidently well past his sixtieth year. Crowley’s fine lines were deeper wrinkles on his father, and the rich rust of the younger man’s colouring had faded out to a cinnamon-blond dusting in the distinguished white hair. The General maintained striking military whiskers, the moustache joining the sideburns, but the whole was neatly groomed, not left to run amok. Aziraphale was glad to see that Crowley had not inherited the General’s eyes, at least; they were a common hazel, and Aziraphale liked knowing that his Crowley had that feature uniquely.

His Crowley? Dash it, he had to overcome this!

“I – I am very glad to be here,” he said, dragging himself back to the moment. “Your home is beautiful, General Crowley; I do not recall when I have seen such striking architecture.”

The General ushered him through into the main hall, a tall, wide affair, dominated by the branched staircase leading to the upper galleries, and the double-height arched windows that bespoke the building’s religious history; General Crowley waved it all away with a dismissive hand. “Ah, yes, we are fortunate in our stonework that the Abbey was built well, but I have completed a great deal of modernisation here since I took it over, and I think you will be most pleased with the results achieved, a modern gentleman such as yourself. All this gothic grandeur is very well, but hardly fit for this innovative century!” As he spoke, he drew Aziraphale further into the building, through a door on the right of the main hall, and into-

A completely ordinary drawing room, plastered and wallpapered in a nod to the latest mode of Eastern inspiration favoured by the Regent. Had the room been part of a modern townhouse, Aziraphale would have thought it well-appointed, but in an abbey it was strangely … wrong.

He turned a bright smile back towards the General, who was quite obviously watching him for a reaction. “Charming!”

___

If you want to read the rest:

#good omens fanfic #ineffablyausten #good omens au #ineffable husbands #wip wednesday #but on a thursday

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bright-and-burning · 6 months

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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

thank you @glasscushion this was really fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

two under various pseuds rn and 1? or 2? orphaned fics from years ago

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

19.6k!! not much but i’m proud of it <3

3. What fandoms do you write for?

hopefully f1 skdjskjd. ive got a ted lasso wip i reeeeally want to finish someday. and a newsies historically accurate magnum opus that may never see the light but that’s fine

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

i only have two non-orphaned fics published rn so:

five times colin cooks for his team (and one time his team cooks for him)

cute lil 5+1 ted lasso fic !! mildly colin/isaac but mostly colin & co being besties. written before season 3 came out

a look never hurt this much

tiny meat gang soulmates au (i refuse to be ashamed abt this). noel/cody lol

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

oh absolutely yes!! i treat comments like dms honestly i love giving a directors commentary type whatever in the comments

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

an orphaned fic in a to-remain unnamed fandom. unrequited love very very angsty stuff but more than a bit silly looking back on it (i was like 14 and really going through it). i tend to write very domestic-y stuff so not much i write has any lasting angst in it!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably my tiny meat gang soulmates au mentioned above i won’t lie 😭 i haven’t read back through it since i wrote it so if it’s bad don’t blame me

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i’ve never gotten hate on fics thank god i would die

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i’m trying to figure out how to write it lol (ask me about curly girl method lando and blowjobs). unfortunately (fortunately?) my draw to silly domestic stuff shines through so it’s not like molten hot smut, it’s kinda silly sex, i won’t lie

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

ive never published one bc i am occasionally a coward but i have many many notes on them/half written stuff. i like a lot of things and i like mashing those things together like barbie dolls! i think the craziest one i ever conceived of was newsies x music man tbh.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

who knows. as far as i know no

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but i would LOVE to omg i feel like there’s so much potential to balance out my weaknesses with other people’s

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

i am a multi shipper girlie i can be convinced of the appeal of ANYTHING. in terms of f1. lando/oscar maybe tho. won’t lie pierre/esteban kinda hitting…

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

hm i have some very grandiose far-reaching plots floating around rn (runners au and apartment/roommates au) that will be written and “completed,” but probably won’t ever fully get expanded to the point i’ve thought about them, if that makes sense

16. What are your writing strengths?

oh i like to think i’m very good at writing like. domestic intimacy/intimate friendships. feeling like home. comfort, and food! ppl tend to describe my writing as cozy and lived in, and i think that’s what i’m good at! (someone once said reading my fic was like eating comfort food and i literally cried)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

transitioning!! time passing!! i’m so bad at that! also smut as i’ve discovered lol. i tend to stay away from genres i feel like im bad at writing so that’s less of an issue (hence why i haven’t really written any real angst). writing on my own w no feedback is Hard i would die for someone to look over my stuff

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

if it’s like a random line/couple of lines in a different language then usually i’ll put it in english but in italics. if the entire fic is between people who would all be speaking the same (non english) language then i don’t bother. i don’t translate to that language tho bc i don’t trust translation sites and im VERY rusty on my languages (you will not get french or mandarin in a fic from me i would die of fear). throwing in random words in other languages also makes me cringe in my own writing for some reason? but it doesn’t bother me in others’ writing lol

19. First fandom you wrote for?

if we mean published fic, for either 5 seconds of summer (cringes) or the maze runner, i can’t remember. if we mean wrote in general, definitely harry potter when i was like 9 in a little notebook that i sincerely hope has been burned since then.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

probably the ted lasso fic! i love writing food, and comfort, and that’s like entirety of the fic, so. if i get runners au off the ground any time soon i would bet money on that becoming my fave tho

pretty much every single one of my mutuals has been tagged in this already so. if you see this and you wanna do it do it like i’ve tagged you!!!

#ask meme

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hennygutz · 1 year

Text

Under The Hanging Tree

Chapter 2

⛥ ATTACK ON TITAN x THE HUNGER GAMES ⛥

summary: The day of the reaping comes, and Mikasa knows that her demise awaits her. Tensions within District 12 have worsened more than she had known, and something leads her to believe that there is something that neither her prep team nor the peacekeepers are telling her. More surprises come in the form of one of the victors volunteering for the other, and the two tributes are shipped off to the Capital.

word count: 2,398

warnings: depictions of violence typical within the hunger games, possibly ooc, out of context spoilers for catching fire, not proofread

“Get up, today is a very big day!”

Mikasa was jolted awake by the sound of rapid knocking against her door. She groggily retreated further into the warmth of her wooly blanket, only grunting in response to her prep team’s exuberant calls at her front door. For a brief moment, Mikasa was blissfully unaware of what day it was and the fate that awaited her. As she began to fully come to life, the dread seeped into her veins like venom. It was the day of the reaping.

Begrudgingly, Mikasa dragged herself out of bed and to her front door. Her prep team immediately bombarded her with greetings and compliments. Normally, Mikasa loathed Capital folk. They were always so loud, so harsh to look at. Her prep team was just as much of a spectacle, but they somehow managed to be endearing to her. She could tell that they actually cared about her as a person, and it was always entertaining to watch them peck at her and squawk like two brightly colored birds.

“Oh Mikasa, my dear mockingjay, how have you been!? I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages!” Nina’s voice piped up as she kissed each of Mikasa’s cheeks, leaving aqua colored lipstick stains on her skin. Nina was a lanky woman with near flawless olive skin and shoulder length hair that was dyed the most striking shade of purple Mikasa had ever seen.

A gasp rang out from Darius, one of his perfectly manicured and tattooed hands coming to fix her bed hair. “You look dreadful!” He cried, running his fingers through her hair in an attempt to detangle it. “When was the last time you brushed this lion’s mane!?”

“Last night?” Mikasa answered sheepishly, trying to stifle a laugh.

Darius was a short and plump man. Beautiful red lily tattoos covered his body, the striking crimson hue almost glowing against his milky pale skin. His thick black hair was neatly braided back into an intricate pattern that swayed with every movement the man made.

Both Darius and Nina were a sight to behold. Their technicolor bodies and theatrical mannerisms made them stick out like sore thumbs in District 12. Mikasa wished she could’ve seen the two of them getting off at the train station.

The two flamboyant birds ushered Mikasa into the shower, immediately getting to work as soon as she got out. Darius worked wonders with his hands, turning Mikasa’s wild mess of hair into luxuriously prepped locks of shiny black tresses that rested in a silky pixie cut. Her hair used to be longer but with a lot of convincing from Darius before the victory tour, she decided that maybe change was good. Though Mikasa normally didn’t like for anyone other than herself to mess with her hair but she had to admit, Darius knew what he was doing.

“What are you guys doing here anyways?” Mikasa realized that she never really saw them unless they were prepping her for big events, and the reaping wasn’t exactly something that called for both of them to show up. She hadn’t even seen them in person since her victory tour.

“We heard about the rule change,” Nina’s normally over the top preppy voice was now more serious. She continued to file and paint Mikasa’s nails with a glossy clear coat, not once looking up at her. “It’s…unfortunate that you have to go, but we wanted you to know that we have your back no matter what. You’re our girl after all!” She smiled brightly, her jade green eyes finally meeting Mikasa’s own. Before Mikasa could respond, Darius chimed in. “On the bright side, at least you get to experience the wonderful pageantry of the games one last time! Right, Nina?” Though his voice was unwavering in how ardent it was, there was the ever so slight touch of urgency to it as if to warn Nina to bite her tongue.

It was apparent that Nina had more to say on the matter but she was hesitant, seemingly almost fearful to speak her mind. “Right,” she cleared her throat, finishing up with Mikasa’s right hand and going to work on her left. “Well anyways, Varis sent us with the perfect outfit for today!” Mikasa’s brows knitted into concern. “My stylist isn’t coming?”

Darius shook his head, his response almost dismissive of her concern. “Varis got caught up in some business matters back in the Capital, but don’t worry, he’ll surely meet us at the tribute center when we arrive.”

After the two of them were done pecking at Mikasa’s appearance, she was given some privacy to get dressed. The dress laid out on her bed looked simple at first. It was made of a soft black fabric that she didn’t recognize, the texture feeling somewhere between cotton and satin. The dress had a simple bodice with a v-necked collar, and an embroidered trim around the waist. The long, flowing sleeves of the dress were sheer with black embroidered vines of ivy. The same ivies covered her waistline. A pair of matching minimalistic chunky heels sat beside her bed on the floor.

Mikasa was immediately skeptical.

Although beautiful, it was far too basic for someone like Varis to design. It wasn’t until she put the actual dress on and stepped into the sunlight streaming through her window that her suspicions wore away. The fabric of the dress had an iridescence to it, brilliant purples and seafoam glistening in the light. She couldn’t put her finger on it at first, but the gorgeous display reminded her of something familiar that just struck a chord in her chest. The pride welled in Mikasa as she finally understood what it emulated.

It looked just like the feathers of a mockingjay.

Nina’s nickname for her, my mockingjay, immediately came to mind. She was right, the outfit was wonderful. Had it been for any other occasion, Mikasa would have loved this moment. Her glee was gone as soon as it came, her wide smile fading as she came back to reality. Unfortunately, this dress was what she was meant to wear to the reaping. Today wasn’t a happy occasion. Today was her funeral.

There was a knock at the front door. Mikasa’s eyes lit up, hoping for the welcome company of the other victors. As she walked across her living room, something felt wrong in the pit of her stomach. Nina and Darius stood rigid in place, both pairs of eyes glued to the door. She had never seen either of them look so…scared. Mikasa stopped in her tracks, the feeling of impending doom only growing in her gut. “Guys? What’s wr-“

“I think you need to get that,” Darius interjected, his hushed voice tense. This didn’t help to calm Mikasa but she obliged, slowly twisting the doorknob open.

Instead of the welcome faces of Armin and Levi, Mikasa came face to face with her own reflection in the shiny helmet of a peacekeeper. Behind them were multiple other peacekeepers, at least six of them. They all stood silent and motionless, forming a menacing wall.

“Can I help you?” Mikasa swallowed thickly, trying not to show any apprehension. “Hello, Ms. Ackerman. My name is Anka,” she introduced herself harshly. “We’ve come to escort you to the square; orders from Head Peacekeeper Miche,” she answered sternly.

Mikasa was able to look over the shoulders of the towering peacekeepers and saw the same thing happening at both Levi and Armin’s doorsteps. This had never happened before. Peacekeepers usually made their rounds checking houses to make sure nobody was skipping the reaping, but a full on escort to the square was unheard of. At least in District 12 it was. Anka looked past Mikasa, the grip on her weapon tightening when she saw Mikasa’s prep team. “I didn’t know you had guests.” Mikasa turned, her heart sinking when she saw the horror in both of their faces. “They’re my prep team for the games,” Mikasa spoke up, her instinct to protect overpowering her need to be compliant. “I thought the prep team only showed up after the tributes got reaped.” Anka took a step forward as if subtly trying to intimidate Mikasa, but she stood her ground. “They also help with victors.”

It wasn’t a lie, both Darius and Nina (along with Varis) were there to help with her victory tour and interviews for the Capital. She couldn’t help but wonder though.

Had they come to see her unauthorized?

It didn’t matter what the truth was now, because Anka was grabbing Mikasa’s arm and practically dragging her out the door before she could realize it. The other peacekeepers shoved past her and seized her company. Nina shrieked in terror as Darius was slammed to the floor and restrained.

“Wait-!” Mikasa tore herself away from Anka’s iron grip, but was immediately grabbed by another peacekeeper and yanked away. Anka sunk her fingers into Mikasa’s arm again, causing a quick yelp of pain to escape her. “Don’t hurt them! They did nothing wrong! Please don’t hurt them!” Mikasa thrashed and kicked and pleaded for them to be spared, but it fell on deaf ears as Anka slammed the door behind them. More peacekeepers lined up outside, Levi and Armin already in their custody.

The walk to the Justice building from Victor’s Village was no more than 30 minutes, but it felt like the longest journey of Mikasa’s life. Her eyes were red and puffy, struggling to fight back the tears she desperately wanted to let flow. All of District 12 had already gathered in the square, everyone staring hollowly as she was dragged up to the front of the Justice Building and up the steps of the stage. Armin and Levi soon followed, though their compliance with the peacekeepers earned them gentler handling.

Mikasa took her surroundings in, the dread only worsening. Onstage was a podium with a microphone, and two oh so familiar glass bowls on either side of the stage. She stood beside one glass bowl, while Armin and Levi stood beside the other. The door of the Justice Building opened and out came their tribute escort, Marlene. As she strutted to the podium, she locked eyes with Mikasa. Her face lit up with recognition, followed by that hollow look in her eyes that was shared among the entirety of District 12. She was Mikasa’s tribute escort the year prior. Marlene was certainly different from the other Capital citizens Mikasa had met. Instead of the flamboyant mannerisms and gaudy color palette, Marlene looked relatively normal. She wore mostly muted tones, and kept her hair its natural auburn color. She also spoke much differently, having a soothing voice and calm cadence. The only thing that stood out about her was the metallic sugarplum colored gloss that she always wore on her lips.

“Good afternoon, District 12.” Marlene’s dulcet voice carried over the entire square and echoed into the distance. “Welcome as we gather here to celebrate the 75th anniversary and the 3rd Quarter Quell of the Hunger Games.” She cleared her throat, not wasting time with any unnecessary pageantry. That was something Mikasa always admired her for.

“As always, we will begin with the drawing of our female tribute.” She turned and reached into the bowl beside Mikasa and picked out the single pitiful slip of paper in it. Marlene only wasted time opening the tiny envelope to read the slip because of formalities. Everyone already knew exactly what was written on it.

“District 12’s representative female tribute is…” Her lip quivered slightly, knowing exactly what awaited her first victor as an escort.

“…Mikasa Ackerman.”

Mikasa finally allowed herself to cry, yet only a single warm tear streamed down her face. She knew it was going to happen, there was nothing she could’ve done to prevent it and she knew from the beginning. Hearing Marlene say her name still caused a rush of grief to make her chest hurt. It was like it sealed the deal, finally confirming that this nightmare was one that she’d never wake from.

“And now the men,” Marlene stepped up to the other bowl, still clutching the envelope in her fist. This was where Mikasa really had to worry now. She couldn’t imagine a world where she’d be able to kill Levi or Armin, but only one of them would walk away from that stage without a death sentence looming over his head.

Marlene contemplated for a moment when she reached into the bowl, trying to decide whose fate she had to seal. “District 12’s representative male tribute is…” Once she picked one and opened it, her shoulders dropped.

“…Levi Ackerman.”

Both Mikasa and Armin reacted with alarm, but Levi remained stoic and unwavering as he began to meet Mikasa at the center of the stage. Just as Marlene was about to swear them in, Armin spoke up.

“I volunteer as tribute.”

Levi practically whipped back around, marching back to Armin and blocking his path. “I can’t let you do that,” he warned sternly, but Armin stood his ground. “It’s not your call to make, Levi. I’m volunteering.” Defeatedly, Levi stepped aside and let him go. Armin shook Mikasa’s hand, swearing them both into the games. If she wasn’t shocked before, she sure was aghast now.

“Please give a warm round of applause for District 12’s Mikasa Ackerman and Armin Arlert,” Marlene almost couldn’t bear the pain in both of her tributes’ eyes. “Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor.”

Silence from the crowd followed, and no applause came. One person from the crowd balled their right hand and kissed their knuckles, gently placing the fist against their heart. Others soon followed until the entire crowd copied the motion. Mikasa brought her knuckle to her lips, and reciprocated the motion. Armin was soon to follow.

It was an old salute originating from the days before Panem, only being used in District 12 now. It was rarely ever used nowadays though, reserved only for funerals. It was a salute of respect; a salute signifying reverence and admiration. It basically meant, ‘We will always remember you.’

As soon as Marlene stepped away from the podium peacekeepers came to escort her, along with the two tributes and Levi, to the train with about as much respect as cattle are given when they’re led to the slaughterhouse.

notes: If you made it this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read my silly little fanfic. It really does mean the world to me! Thank you for humoring me and my silly little writing. If you’re interested in similar content, make sure to give my friend @erwinswings a follow !! We’re both working on content for this AU

#mikasa aot #under the hanging tree #aot fanfic #attack on titan #armin arlert #armin aot #shingeki no kyojin #mikasa attack on titan #mikasa ackerman #levi ackerman #levi aot #hunger games #hunger games au #would y’all believe me if i told you guys that the only other fanfic i’ve ever written was a 13 chapter fnaf fanfic i wrote when i was 11

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kimtaegis · 1 year

Note

You truly don’t have to read this or respond but i truly do need to get this off my chest

I found out today that my 13 year old cousin is secretly 12 weeks pregnant. Her and her parents didn’t want ANYONE (including her older brothers) knowing but a extremely small handful but my sister was one that she told and my sister passed it to me. Since then my brain had been racing and and I’ve been trying to hold back the tears. How can a girl who only knew a guy two weeks and was 4 years older then her end up pregnant when I’ve been longing to be since I turned 18. I know that I wouldn’t even be able to have a baby yet considering never even had a boyfriend so being jealous of someone 10 years younger then me is childish but I truly does hurt. I’ve cried hundreds of times over how bad I want to be pregnant and the fact that I’ll probably never have a chance to because of how scared I am of men. What makes it worse is I’ve had multiple people for years tell me that I need to have a baby because of how much I love kids and how good I am with them and on the outside I play it cool and just say “maybe someday” but on the inside I’m dying. I know that I have plenty of time but with the pressure of people I’ve gone to school with already settling down and my IG and TikTok being flooded with pregnancy and babies plus those like my sister and cousins constantly saying that I need a boyfriend so I can have my dream come true to the point my sister literally jokes all the time that she’ll give me her first born if she becomes a teen mom because I’ll never have one because I don’t have a boyfriend, I truly am going insane. However I’m nowhere close to being able to have a baby physically, mentally or emotionally so I obviously wouldn’t seek out to try but part of me so badly wishes for a Mary moment to happen😔

my love, I won’t say much, but I will say this: have patience, good things will come to good people. And be honest to those people that obviously haven’t quite grasped yet how much this means to you, and tell them that these jokes and that topic in general makes you hurt. You shouldn’t have to suffer more than you already do without these side comments. I also want to remind you that in today’s time, you don’t need a man to be a mom, okay? if this is truly something that you want and that you’re ready for, if this is something that would fulfil you, then it’ll happen, and there’s many options how it could. I hope you’ll feel better soon 🤍

#anon #annie’s mail

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kuixotic · 1 year

Text

tagged by @currentlycryingaboutlancelot for this!

Rules: answer the questions and tag fifteen mutuals

1. Are you named after anyone?

Technically yes, it’s more accurate that I inherited the first letter of my name from my abuela-but my name came from a perfume I think-

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uhhhhhhh- (has lost the ability to cry and can’t recall when the last time was)

3. Do you have kids?

Does my dog count-

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Oh I breathe it, whenever I enter voice chats I’m already at everyone’s throats it’s so funny. I just...yeah

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Hmmmmm, I guess the way they interact? How they hold themselves and greet someone or acknowledge another person

6. What’s your eye colour?

Once green now brown

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Thanks to a buddy of mine I’ve been enjoying classic slasher movies as of recent, but I think I enjoy my happy endings c: especially ones that come after a storyline of absolute hardships and completely dismal conditions-coming out fine in the end just Does Things to me

8. Any special talents?

Uhhhh, I can usually identify instruments in tracks really quickly especially if they’re considered a niche instrument. Does worldbuilding also count? Because apparently I give very good and useful ideas to friends on the fly when they need me to act as a rubber duck for their projects

9. Where were you born?

The North ™

10. What are your hobbies?

Art! And listening to music. Does making character playlists count? I don’t do that TOO too much but I like adding stuff to ones I already have. Just general thinking and worldbuilding in my head is a favorite pastime too

11. Have you any pets?

My dog! My little ol man Milo c:

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I’m counting marching band as a sport here-in which I did 4 years/all of high school in the drumline, being drum captain/section leader for junior and senior years

13. How tall are you?

I... am 5′0 😔

14. Favorite subject in school?

I really enjoyed music for obvious reasons, but my physics teacher in high school made his class fun c: I also greatly enjoy astronomy and anthropology, as well as humanities

15. Dream job?

My MOST ideal would’ve been a music teacher, something the likes of charity work in teaching music to disenfranchised youth. Ethnomusicology is right up there too since it would combine my love of music with anthropology. While I can’t do that now(because music school terrifies me and I am VERY rusty as I haven’t played music seriously in over 6 years), history is my next passion. I (finally) got my associates so now it’s time to move on up and get a degree in Latin American and/or Caribbean history, maybe doing something like being a historical consultant for things in the arts-or just in general honestly

iiiiii,,,, don’t think i have 15 people who i dont know super well SO anyone can take this tag meme off their hands wheeee-

#god i miss these old school tag games #throwback to the 2011 days of tumblr i swear

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flyingcookierambles · 1 year

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the final dragalia...

hi fellow losties

lets cry together

im live streaming the final hours on twitch, trying to finish the story

some twitter threads of my dragalia stuff i guess idk (ill be updating this as i go today for memories sake to have these together i guess. idk. stupid sentimentality) 1 (edit: moving the rest below, i think that theres a lot surprisingly) + kit

currently. no doing so well, crying. i feel like im losing a good friend today. literally the more i think the more i cry. its like the going merry all over again. i havent cried this much in years...

sad incoherent rambling below....

1am edit: we did it Losties. we were all together for the final moments. I made a highlight of my final Dragalia stream. There was a home screen walk with Faeblessed Tobias and Bondforged Euden and then the last 41 seconds with the Wagabound Pupper. man. seeing that little 3d computer dog with the pop up screen saying that he is ours forever, since he was originally just a 1 day character for a previous April Fools. just. a bit of a slap in the face. i’ll post my final screenshots tomorrow probably. my throat’s a little tight and i think im gonna cry again. i didn’t even cry this much when A3! eng died...maybe it’s because Dragalia is older. almost got to 4 years. it’s been my comfort game throughout college.

anyways here.

goodnight i have work tomorrow.

desperately trying to download all the assets i can, including the final stubborn 12 of all like 40+ GB of the files. all the good mmees, the laughs and cries, the ups and downs of the story both in an emotional sense and a writing quality sense. just. nothing. thankfully the entire story and all the character stories are preserved thanks to the subreddit and discord.i should’ve played more too. but. ever since the ending was announced. not just in August, but in March. I haven’t played dragalia fully. i didnt do kaledoscope bc i am not good at hack n slash rogue-likes (i suck at hades lol. im only good at rogue dungeon crawling turn based like etrian). im just so full of regrets, even more so than A3!, i think because it had like 0 gameplay and all story and i read most of those. dragalia is. was. will be was. huge. so underappreciated....

if a private server comes up in the future, im ready. i hope.

*looks over at the filtering out unneeded assets message on CMD as the program struggles to get these last 12 stupid files*

twitter i guess

jake calling ferran little duck

never got summer ieyasu....

atlantis. they really were just like. yeah merpeople are real ok lets move on lol. i wonder what would’ve happened had it been able to be expanded on...

random gacha luck posts 1 <- faebless tobias summer curran notte+others

new years/ox clan pulls gluca ilia 2nd gala pulls random i literally dont even remember her event story or what lol + all the northerners at once lmao + summer ranzal! in . oct 2019 +

children of the forest event + masucla home

reacting to a lot of adventure/castle stories thread

blonde himbo grandpa came home!

2021 april fools + valentines + persona5/strikers collab i think i might’ve livestreamed this too or at least have some saved screen recording of it somewhere. i know that this is twt threads only but that was such a good event + the entire HUD/GUI was redesigned to be p5 themed it was actually really beautiful and we can never see it again sobs + new years 2021 map + 2020 FEH 2 + first gluca run + 2019 halloween + random 2019 screenshots? + more random fractured futures 2019 + 2 more + 2019 anni & random gbf + home screen 2019 anni + the first FEH event 2019 huh my twt media doesnt go any further i might have just not used it between when it was first made in 2015 and then 2019 lol

grandpa humid ilu

issac/tobias first look

dragalia sword?

robot lesbibabs

croptops.. (bonus random thread started with me being an enstarrie for bastard man rinne)

card

tobias story

alchemy

“share the will of the goddess with him” *pulls out a knife* + 2020 northern ilian church

2020 summer norwin + mikoto + 2 + festival thread (bonus a3! en) + W I D E Mei Hou Wang +

bonus the 2020 gacha brainworms parasites i had on my phone at the time

haha remember when leo was a bad guy

#dragalia #games n junk #im just sad #dragalia lost

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bluuespring · 2 years

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I was tagged by lovelies @ughbehavior & @ipegchangbin ♡!! thank you both

rules: share ten different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order, then send this to/tag 10 people.

ajfpasf this took me forever to decide :’) so there are actually 12 and not 10 I’m so sorry.

1. jane eyre / this novel got me into reading, writing and studying literature so I’m eternally grateful for it. jane is a badass. she will not be caged. also rochester is an asshole and doesn’t deserve her.

2. bucky barnes (marvel) / I’m not into marvel that much anymore, but bucky will always have a special place in my heart, he is such a fascinating character and I will eternally love him and devote my soul to him. even my dad knows him too well (he took me to see civil war and i cried a lot) protect him at all costs. also fuck me up long-haired red shirt civil war bucky

3. jesse pinkman (breaking bad) / have I ever cried more tears for a fictional character? i dont think so. I couldve put anyone from this show (hANK SCHRADER???? MIKE?????? GUS???!?!! SKYLER???!?!?!!!!!!) but jesse... yeah. he’s my broken little dork and I still weep for him regularly.

4. joel miller (the last of us) / that goes without saying....w tf..... joel miller has had a chokehold on me since 2015 and he will never leave me. the tears I wept. the hURT I have felt. he is so special to me and his voice, his actions, his very being has influenced me to the core. I could write an entire thesis on this man.

5. elizabeth bennett / has a more badass mf ever existed in media? no. I think not. lizzie is the mvp. her and darcy are the originals. i dont care what you say.

6. jack from marrowbone / those who haven’t seen this movie just watch it... you’ll never be the same. what the fuck. I’m still not over it. wtf.

7. violet baudelaire / my role model as a child. I wanted to be 14 so bad for so long because I wanted to be violet. she’s a star. now she’s like my child. forever in my heart.

8. fred and george weasley / they come as a pair ok fight me.... but those two. oof. their writer is a piece of shit that deserves the worst but gred and forge deserve the best. I will never forgive and I will never forget™️. they were also the objects of my first official fanfic which gave me confidence in writing so yeah. they’re my soulmates. a part of me will always live above weasley’s wizard wheezes. ♡

9. rengoku (demon slayer) / I know this must be a ~mainstream~ choice or whatever but I don’t care. the imprint that he has left on me. him and tanjiro remind me of the importance of kindness and I have embraced it fully since.

10. kaz brekker (shadow and bone) / I really hesitated with inej but kaz. that boy. that character............ I will always vividly remember reading him for the first time. like oh. OH. oh. And it was too late

11. kang sae byeok (squid game) / I saw this girl and I knew... I knew we were going to have silent conversations. her portrayal. her vulnerability. her strength. she is it.

12. opie (sons of anarchy) / I havent even finished watching sons but .... fuck.... I saw ryan hurst who plays him at comic con bc my dad was a fan and he told a story about shampoo and I was never the same since.... he tugs at my heart strings and he’s everything the universe ought to look up to and i’m soft

13. and finally matilda / if there is an origin story to who I am. it’s this.

I don’t know who to tag so... anyone who wants to do it go ahead and tag me I’d love to see <333

Honorable Mentions (bc yes I have a long list)

- Dean Winchester from Supernatural (don’t ask me about it.... don’t...) - Eun-tak from Goblin (aposfjasfasf) - Hong Du-sik from Hometown Cha Cha Cha (husband material™️) - Celine & Jesse from the Before trilogy (those movies fucked me up..... but I love them.............) - L from Death Note (my little weirdo.... never change.... Ive never looked at a phone the same...) - Susan Pevensie from Narnia (another original) - Marta from Knives Out (i lOVE HER bless her heart) - Dallas from The Outsiders (its been more than a decade since.....) - Wanda from Marvel (she deserves better) - Temperance Brennan from Bones (inspiration) - Arthur Shelby from Peaky Blinders (a puppy. a child. i want to hold him.) - Frank Castle from The Punisher (hE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the excellence of morally grey!!!!!!) - Jaime Fraser from Outlander (i can’t deal with him....) - Cha-young from Vincenzo (a bADASS) - Glenn from the Walking Dead (no i will not talk about it) - Rip and Beth from Yellowstone (those two..... i’m.... *bites lip*) - The 12th Doctor from Doctor Who (don’t be lasagna will forever be imprinted into my brain) - House from House MD (a life inspiration. dont give a shit about people) - Connell and Marianne from Normal People (i wept) - Everyone™️ in the Haunting of Hill House (masterpiece)

#I'm probably forgetting really important ones but eh #the essential is there #if you ever want to talk in length about any of them #don't be shy<3 #thanks for tagging me!!!!! it was fun and painful at the same time #ily <3 #tag game #about me

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labseraph · 10 months

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Caitlin Moran on Jordan Peterson: ‘I fear for any man in a crisis turning to him'

By Caitlin Moran

7 July 2023

As Thomas Aquinas said, ‘Hominem unius libri timeo.’ I fear the man who has read a single book. He meant it about the Bible.

I mean it about Jordan B. Peterson.

If, and when, there is a section invented in bookshops called ‘Men’, Jordan B. Peterson would be far and away its bestseller: his combined back catalogue has sold over 7 million copies; his various YouTube lectures have 520 million views and 6.5 million subscribers; and, in 2019, Time magazine named him ‘the most influential intellectual in the world’.

I first became aware of him as the ‘make your bed in the morning’ man. In 2019, his 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos was well on its way to selling its eventual 7 million copies, and the first and main thing everyone was discussing was how his most sensational piece of advice was: ‘Every morning, make your bed.’

“My sense is that if you want to change the world, you start with yourself and work outward because you build your competence that way,” he expanded. “I don’t know how you can go out and protest the structure of the entire economic system if you can’t keep your room organized.”

Of course, we may note that here that Peterson has found a ‘fancy’ professor’s way to say, for £25 in hardback, what everyone’s mums have been saying to them, since they were born, for free. Who knows how much more effective it would have been if our mothers had conflated our dirty duvets with the continuation of neo-liberal capitalism – and, indeed, the entire validity of organised protest. Perhaps our mothers were, at the time, too busy simultaneously loading the dishwasher and worming the cat to ‘go there’. But, still – can’t argue with making your bed, right? No one gets hurt by a guy who wants tidier bedrooms? With his dapper waistcoat and Kermit-tinged voice, Peterson presented like a Henson Workshop Bright Uncle. He’s just ultimately a common-sense guy. Also, he’s Canadian. Canadians can’t be bad, right?

Peterson has found a ‘fancy’ professor’s way to say what everyone’s mums have been saying to them, since they were born, for free

Over the next year or so, I lost count of the people – predominantly young men – who said, “Have you read Jordan B. Peterson? He’s got a lot of interesting ideas. Really got me thinking. I wonder what you think of him?”

I started with one of his most successful podcasts – in which he and Russell Brand discussed the topic of ‘Masculinity’. It was . . . odd? I’d expected to hear some smart analysis; playful debate; historical context; pertinent anecdotes, gleeful conclusions. I was ready to be both educated and entertained by two very famous, clever public speakers getting stuck into masculinity. I actively wanted to have all my beliefs challenged with some top-notch tussling.

Instead, after three-quarters of an hour, all that had been discussed was how difficult Peterson was finding fame – a conversation during which he cried several times. There was nothing positive about masculinity. There was no celebration of what is wonderful about boys and men – no enthusing for his own team; no castles-in-the-air daydreaming for how men could be happy in themselves; take pride in themselves; sell to a currently sceptical world how underrated, essential and lovely the inherent traits of men could be.

Caitlin Moran: "Women are at peak ‘Don't give a fuck’. Men haven’t found that yet”

Twelve years ago, she wrote a bestselling book that started a new conversation about feminism in Britain. Now, Caitlin Moran wants to do the same for “straight white men”

By Sam Parker

Instead: the complaining. The crying. I found this so astonishing that, three days later, I was at a literary event with several very well-known, very successful feminist authors/ campaigners – all of whom have tussled with the difficulties of fame – and mentioned that I’d just listened to it.

“Oh my God! So weird!” one said.

“I just didn’t . . . understand. I can’t think of a single female author who would come on to debate a subject, and then just talk about themselves, and how hard their success was, and then cry,” another said. “I mean, there was just so much waffle.”

“Obviously it’s not bad to cry, or tell the truth about your life,” the third said. “But – he’s at work ? Can you imagine if any of us were invited to talk about our work – and just spent it crying?”

In the room were an anti-FGM campaigner, a notable feminist, and a woman who has written a great deal about violence against women and girls. All have had rape and death threats: two have panic buttons in their houses. One has never even mentioned that she has children – as the police told her there was the very real possibility that, if the knowledge became public, there would be threats made against the children’s schools.

Of course, as discussed before, there is no hierarchy of feelings – if you feel sad, you feel sad – and in so many ways, it’s all good work when a public male figure feels comfortable enough to discuss feeling overwhelmed, or depressed, or fearful. All truths are useful for someone, somewhere.

But I’m always slightly alarmed when someone who is very confident and vocal about telling people how to be, and what to do, is themselves apparently struggling with just such a thing. When their Rules for Life appear not to be working for them. Additionally, for Peterson to become so emotional when talking to Brand – there was a real sense of the floodgates opening – suggests that this isn’t a thing he’s been able to widely discuss in private, with family and friends. Perhaps Peterson hasn’t yet learned to ‘do’ friendship, either.

Peterson generally presents as a loner preacher-man – one voice in a wilderness of modern, woke madness. This point feels like the right moment to mention Moran’s Rule Number Three:

By and large, don’t listen to a loner preacher-man.

Who wants to be a loner preacher-man? Why have you had to become a loner preacher-man? And how does that work out, day to day? It doesn’t sound like much fun for you, or the people around you. After all, no one ever said, ‘I feel a bit blue, and down, today. I know – I’ll go and get a hug from the loner preacher-man.’

When your feelings about a subject are so strong you start both denying, and campaigning against, facts – then you’re not really an academic

I bring up just how happy Peterson’s own life is because, well – I wouldn’t buy shoes from a cobbler wearing two plastic bags on his feet. Similarly, I wouldn’t accept rules – not even ‘advice’, or ‘thoughts’, but rules – for life from someone who appears quite sad, and lonely. Because, ultimately, what are you buying when you buy his thoughts and theories? Something that seems not to be working terribly well for him right now. To the point where Peterson appears quite fearful about simply being alive: famously, in 2018, Peterson revealed that he lives by a very strict diet, which consists solely of ‘beef, salt and water’.

I am not being flippant or dismissive when I say this sounds like a very serious eating disorder – and eating disorders tend to stem from very unhappy, anxious people who feel they need to exert more ‘control’ over their lives. The subtitle of 12 Rules for Life is An Antidote to Chaos. I would suggest someone who fears ‘chaos’ so much they’ve removed 90 per cent of all possible nutrition from their diet, losing 60lbs in the process, might not be terribly well.

On top of this, in recent years, Peterson has been incredibly vocal on social media, peddling anti-vax propaganda and climate-change denialism. When you fly in the face of overwhelming scientific evidence and agreement – when your feelings and emotions about a subject are so strong you start both denying, and campaigning against, facts – then you’re not really an academic. You’re not rigorously and intellectually examining possibilities. You’re doing something more… medieval, and primal.

Anyway. Finally, I read 12 Rules for Life. And there is some good stuff in it. Peterson’s step-by-step advice for how to properly ‘argue’ with loved ones, and come to an agreement that is satisfying to both, is undoubtedly good advice: as it was when psychotherapist Carl Rogers originally came up with the method in 1951. Similarly, Peterson is good on how the basis of society is sharing and delayed gratification; how a person is defined by the ideas they have; and how it’s a good idea to both ‘make your bed every morning’, and ‘stop and pet a cat in the street’. The first of those observations is from Freud, the second by Jung and then Popper, and the last two can be found on either Instagram or TikTok any time you want to look – and often presented as an amusing lip-sync, rather than a densely typed Bible-quoting rant. What I’m saying is, whenever Peterson hits on a truth, it’s usually someone else’s.

However, the ultimate reason why I fear for any man in a crisis turning to Peterson is that he comes across as a severely depressed man, crushed by a belief in fundamentalist Christian teaching, busily building bridges so that other people might join him in his depression – and thus make himself less alone. If you want to have a night where you blitz your liver to oblivion, play the Jordan B. Peterson 12 Rules for Life ‘Suffering Game’: taking a shot every time Peterson intones, like Puddleglum in C. S. Lewis’s The Silver Chair, that life is about suffering and/or misery, and that human beings are evil."

#men are not all right

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disastardly · 11 months

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15 questions, ??? mutuals

Tagged by @eriquin, thanks!!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope. My parents liked a name with a hard “kuh” sound since they thought it sounded good with our last name. I was almost Katherine - kinda glad that didn’t stick since I can’t imagine being a Kate/Katie. (Nothing wrong with it, I just don’t vibe with it like my actual name.)

2. When was the last time you cried?

Oh my god it’s so easy to make me cry. My latest cry was a couple days ago when my very ancient beagle was really cute in his sleep and his mortality hit me like a freight train.

3. Do you have kids?

None. Might still in the future but might also just... not. We’re both hovering on either side of 35 and the urge has sort of faded over the years. (Adjusting to living with two very medically needy pets in the last 4 years really didn’t help, I think.)

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Probably too much - my dad and I joke that our default tone sounds so facetious, it’s impossible to tell when we’re being sincere.

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

When I was younger, I did the whole gamut - teeball/softball, gymnastics, soccer, ice skating, etc. Badminton was my jam in high school and I still love playing when I get the rare chance to, but nowadays I’m more of a hiking gal. Trying to get into roller skating but it’s hard to find good, level places to practice where my clumsy ass won’t eat shit every five seconds.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I’m old enough that I don’t meet a lot of new people unless it’s through work, but it’s usually their enthusiasm for stuff. I love meeting passionate people.

7. What’s your eye color?

Sorta grey-blue. Some green-ish-ness if the light catches it right.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

A little bit of both? Love a solid scary movie, but I’m a sucker for a happy ending too.

9. Any special talents?

I can read Roman numerals relatively quickly. Also not bad at “doctoring up” food/recipes: modulating from the suggested cook times/measurements to make it come out how I specifically want it.

10. Where were you born?

Iowa, USA.

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing, watching movies, cross-stitching, road trips, reading.

12. Do you have pets?

Currently, just the aforementioned ANCIENT beagle. (His name is Ringo and I love him so so SO much, even when he’s the biggest asshole known to man.)

13. How tall are you?

5'3"

14. Favorite subjects in school?

English and history.

15. Dream job?

I used to think it was writing, but I’ve been in the ‘real world’ for long enough to realize that working kills the fun of things you love, so honestly probably something that lets me fuck around most of the day with occasional bursts of actual work. At this point in my life, just not working sounds kinda nice too. Corporate life is burning me out anymore.

No tags - if you see this and read this far, do it yourself! (If you haven’t already.) That’s the curse I bestow for actually reading what I wrote.

#tag games

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latenightdecaf · 2 years

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i’d often hear from people that, i know the right words to say. i just try. maybe that’s what counts the most. i mean, or maybe i just have more words than most people do -

as i’ve said before, i’m not a hardcore fan - i just admire these boys, their music, their fans and the universe that they’ve created together. i’ve been talking to one of my oldest friends, a friend i’ve been with since we were 12 - and i’d hate to say this but that’s more than half of my life.

she’s an army.

when someone dear to you, went through something rough - you try. so i remember searching over bts’ songs just to find the right words to say to her during that time, listened to a lot of songs - that’s the first time i discovered, ‘spring day’ too.

she had a hard time last night when she watched festa. i just heard the news this morning because i dont use my phone at night. the hiatus announcement hit her hard - and i know, a lot of people too. it was bittersweet, she cried so hard - but she want these tannies to be happy too, told me she supports them no matter what. of course.

bts brought her out of the darkness. and for that - i’m eternally grateful for the very existence of bts and i know, it’s not just my friend whom they saved. i know they saved millions and millions of people. man, just by thinking of that those boys deserved the world.

but these boys are also human. I think that’s what I like most about them - i haven’t watched the festa. maybe over the weekend when life stops getting in the way, but i’ve seen screenshots of joon crying. and i get it, but man - they’re brave. i told my best friend, when she said that she want the best for bangtan - i just want to remind her also, of how much light and love those boys have given her and no matter where she goes or those boys go, she will carry it with her for sure. bangtan changed her for the better right?

and to everyone who’s also trying to be okay - it’s okay. they’ll always be there, sure they’ll be doing more solo activities for a while but they also need that so it won’t dull their shine. those boys are such inspirations - going after what they need, and prioritizing themselves. they really deserve all the love.

#personal #bts #army

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neil-gaiman · 3 years

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How Did you come up with the first eve in the story about adams wives? I haven’t been able to find anything about her after I read it and I want to know if she’s an actual biblical character or just someone you made

She's from the Midrash. I learned about her as a 12 year old, from my barmitzvah teacher. There was a point in there, long after I'd put her into Sandman, where I was starting to think I'd imagined her, when I ran across her in Robert Graves's Hebrew Myths....

Excerpt from: The Hebrew Myths by Robert Graves and Raphael Patai (New York: Doubleday, 1964), pp 65-69

Chapter 10: Adam's Helpmeets

(a) Having decided to give Adam a helpmeet lest he should be alone of his kind, God put him into a deep sleep, removed one of his ribs, formed it into a woman, and closed up the wound, Adam awoke and said: 'This being shall be named "Woman", because she has been taken out of man. A man and a woman shall be one flesh.' The title he gave her was Eve, 'the Mother of All Living''. [1]

(b) Some say that God created man and woman in His own image on the Sixth Day, giving them charge over the world; [2] but that Eve did not yet exist. Now, God had set Adam to name every beast, bird and other living thing. When they passed before him in pairs, male and female, Adam-being already like a twenty-year-old man-felt jealous of their loves, and though he tried coupling with each female in turn, found no satisfaction in the act. He therefore cried: 'Every creature but I has a proper mate', and prayed God would remedy this injustice. [3]

(c) God then formed Lilith, the first woman, just as He had formed Adam, except that He used filth and sediment instead of pure dust. From Adam's union with this demoness, and with another like her named Naamah, Tubal Cain's sister, sprang Asmodeus and innumerable demons that still plague mankind. Many generations later, Lilith and Naamah came to Solomon's judgement seat, disguised as harlots of Jerusalem'. [4]

(d) Adam and Lilith never found peace together; for when he wished to lie with her, she took offence at the recumbent posture he demanded. 'Why must I lie beneath you?' she asked. 'I also was made from dust, and am therefore your equal.' Because Adam tried to compel her obedience by force, Lilith, in a rage, uttered the magic name of God, rose into the air and left him.

Adam complained to God: 'I have been deserted by my helpmeet' God at once sent the angels Senoy, Sansenoy and Semangelof to fetch Lilith back. They found her beside the Red Sea, a region abounding in lascivious demons, to whom she bore lilim at the rate of more than one hundred a day. 'Return to Adam without delay,' the angels said, `or we will drown you!' Lilith asked: `How can I return to Adam and live like an honest housewife, after my stay beside the Red Sea?? 'It will be death to refuse!' they answered. `How can I die,' Lilith asked again, `when God has ordered me to take charge of all newborn children: boys up to the eighth day of life, that of circumcision; girls up to the twentieth day. None the less, if ever I see your three names or likenesses displayed in an amulet above a newborn child, I promise to spare it.' To this they agreed; but God punished Lilith by making one hundred of her demon children perish daily; [5] and if she could not destroy a human infant, because of the angelic amulet, she would spitefully turn against her own. [6]

(e) Some say that Lilith ruled as queen in Zmargad, and again in Sheba; and was the demoness who destroyed job's sons. [7] Yet she escaped the curse of death which overtook Adam, since they had parted long before the Fall. Lilith and Naamah not only strangle infants but also seduce dreaming men, any one of whom, sleeping alone, may become their victim. [8]

(f) Undismayed by His failure to give Adam a suitable helpmeet, God tried again, and let him watch while he built up a woman's anatomy: using bones, tissues, muscles, blood and glandular secretions, then covering the whole with skin and adding tufts of hair in places. The sight caused Adam such disgust that even when this woman, the First Eve, stood there in her full beauty, he felt an invincible repugnance. God knew that He had failed once more, and took the First Eve away. Where she went, nobody knows for certain. [9]

(g) God tried a third time, and acted more circumspectly. Having taken a rib from Adam's side in his sleep, He formed it into a woman; then plaited her hair and adorned her, like a bride, with twenty-four pieces of jewellery, before waking him. Adam was entranced. [10]

(h) Some say that God created Eve not from Adam's rib, but from a tail ending in a sting which had been part of his body. God cut this off, and the stump-now a useless coccyx-is still carried by Adam's descendants. [11]

(i) Others say that God's original thought had been to create two human beings, male and female; but instead He designed a single one with a male face looking forward, and a female face looking back. Again He changed His mind, removed Adam's backward-looking face, and built a woman's body for it. [12]

(j) Still others hold that Adam was originally created as an androgyne of male and female bodies joined back to back. Since this posture made locomotion difficult, and conversation awkward, God divided the androgyne and gave each half a new rear. These separate beings He placed in Eden, forbidding them to couple. [13]

Notes on sources:

1. Genesis II. 18-25; III. 20.

2. Genesis I. 26-28.

3. Gen. Rab. 17.4; B. Yebamot 632.

4. Yalqut Reubeni ad. Gen. II. 21; IV. 8.

5. Alpha Beta diBen Sira, 47; Gaster, MGWJ, 29 (1880), 553 ff.

6. Num. Rab. 16.25.

7. Targum ad job 1. 15.

8. B. Shabbat 151b; Ginzberg, LJ, V. 147-48.

9. Gen. Rab. 158, 163-64; Mid. Abkir 133, 135; Abot diR. Nathan 24; B. Sanhedrin 39a.

10. Gen. II. 21-22; Gen. Rab. 161.

11. Gen. Rab. 134; B. Erubin 18a.

12. B. Erubin 18a.

13. Gen. Rab. 55; Lev. Rab. 14.1: Abot diR. Nathan 1.8; B. Berakhot 61a; B. Erubin 18a; Tanhuma Tazri'a 1; Yalchut Gen. 20; Tanh. Buber iii.33; Mid. Tehillim 139, 529.

Authors’ Comments on the Myth:

1. The tradition that man's first sexual intercourse was with animals, not women, may be due to the widely spread practice of bestiality among herdsmen of the Middle East, which is still condoned by custom, although figuring three times in the Pentateuch as a capital crime. In the Akkadian Gilgamesh Epic, Enkidu is said to have lived with gazelles and jostled other wild beasts at the watering place, until civilized by Aruru's priestess. Having enjoyed her embraces for six days and seven nights, he wished to rejoin the wild beasts but, to his surprise, they fled from him. Enkidu then knew that he had gained understanding, and the priestess said: 'Thou art wise, Enkidu, like unto a godl'

2. Primeval man was held by the Babylonians to have been androgynous. Thus the Gilgamesh Epic gives Enkidu androgynous features: `the hair of his head like a woman's, with locks that sprout like those of Nisaba, the Grain-goddess.' The Hebrew tradition evidently derives from Greek sources, because both terms used in a Tannaitic midrash to describe the bisexual Adam are Greek: androgynos, 'man-woman', and diprosopon, 'twofaced'. Philo of Alexandria, the Hellenistic philosopher and commentator on the Bible, contemporary with Jesus, held that man was at first bisexual; so did the Gnostics. This belief is clearly borrowed from Plato. Yet the myth of two bodies placed back to back may well have been founded on observation of Siamese twins, which are sometimes joined in this awkward manner. The two-faced Adam appears to be a fancy derived from coins or statues of Janus, the Roman New Year god.

3. Divergences between the Creation myths of Genesis r and n, which allow Lilith to be presumed as Adam's first mate, result from a careless weaving together of an early Judaean and a late priestly tradition. The older version contains the rib incident. Lilith typifies the Anath-worshipping Canaanite women, who were permitted pre-nuptial promiscuity. Time after time the prophets denounced Israelite women for following Canaanite practices; at first, apparently, with the priests' approval-since their habit of dedicating to God the fees thus earned is expressly forbidden in Deuteronomy xxIII. I8. Lilith's flight to the Red Sea recalls the ancient Hebrew view that water attracts demons. 'Tortured and rebellious demons' also found safe harbourage in Egypt. Thus Asmodeus, who had strangled Sarah's first six husbands, fled 'to the uttermost parts of Egypt' (Tobit viii. 3), when Tobias burned the heart and liver of a fish on their wedding night.

4. Lilith's bargain with the angels has its ritual counterpart in an apotropaic rite once performed in many Jewish communities. To protect the newborn child against Lilith-and especially a male, until he could be permanently safeguarded by circumcision-a ring was drawn with natron, or charcoal, on the wall of the birthroom, and inside it were written the words: 'Adam and Eve. Out, Lilith!' Also the names Senoy, Sansenoy and Semangelof (meanings uncertain) were inscribed on the door. If Lilith nevertheless succeeded in approaching the child and fondling him, he would laugh in his sleep. To avert danger, it was held wise to strike the sleeping child's lips with one finger-whereupon Lilith would vanish.

5. 'Lilith' is usually derived from the Babylonian-Assyrian word lilitu, ,a female demon, or wind-spirit'-one of a triad mentioned in Babylonian spells. But she appears earlier as 'Lillake' on a 2000 B.G. Sumerian tablet from Ur containing the tale of Gilgamesh and the Willow Tree. There she is a demoness dwelling in the trunk of a willow-tree tended by the Goddess Inanna (Anath) on the banks of the Euphrates. Popular Hebrew etymology seems to have derived 'Lilith' from layil, 'night'; and she therefore often appears as a hairy night-monster, as she also does in Arabian folklore. Solomon suspected the Queen of Sheba of being Lilith, because she had hairy legs. His judgement on the two harlots is recorded in I Kings III. 16 ff. According to Isaiah xxxiv. I4-I5, Lilith dwells among the desolate ruins in the Edomite Desert where satyrs (se'ir), reems, pelicans, owls, jackals, ostriches, arrow-snakes and kites keep her company.

6. Lilith's children are called lilim. In the Targum Yerushalmi, the priestly blessing of Numbers vi. 26 becomes: 'The Lord bless thee in all thy doings, and preserve thee from the Lilim!' The fourth-century A.D. commentator Hieronymus identified Lilith with the Greek Lamia, a Libyan queen deserted by Zeus, whom his wife Hera robbed of her children. She took revenge by robbing other women of theirs.

7. The Lamiae, who seduced sleeping men, sucked their blood and ate their flesh, as Lilith and her fellow-demonesses did, were also known as Empusae, 'forcers-in'; or Mormolyceia, 'frightening wolves'; and described as 'Children of Hecate'. A Hellenistic relief shows a naked Lamia straddling a traveller asleep on his back. It is characteristic of civilizations where women are treated as chattels that they must adopt the recumbent posture during intercourse, which Lilith refused. That Greek witches who worshipped Hecate favoured the superior posture, we know from Apuleius; and it occurs in early Sumerian representations of the sexual act, though not in the Hittite. Malinowski writes that Melanesian girls ridicule what they call `the missionary position', which demands that they should lie passive and recumbent.

8. Naamah, 'pleasant', is explained as meaning that 'the demoness sang pleasant songs to idols'. Zmargad suggest smaragdos, the semi-precious aquamarine; and may therefore be her submarine dwelling. A demon named Smaragos occurs in the Homeric Epigrams.

9. Eve's creation by God from Adam's rib-a myth establishing male supremacy and disguising Eve's divinity-lacks parallels in Mediterranean or early Middle-Eastern myth. The story perhaps derives iconotropically from an ancient relief, or painting, which showed the naked Goddess Anath poised in the air, watching her lover Mot murder his twin Aliyan; Mot (mistaken by the mythographer for Yahweh) was driving a curved dagger under Aliyan's fifth rib, not removing a sixth one. The familiar story is helped by a hidden pun on tsela, the Hebrew for 'rib': Eve, though designed to be Adam's helpmeet, proved to be a tsela, a 'stumbling', or 'misfortune'. Eve's formation from Adam's tail is an even more damaging myth; perhaps suggested by the birth of a child with a vestigial tail instead of a coccyx-a not infrequent occurrence.

10. The story of Lilith's escape to the East and of Adam's subsequent marriage to Eve may, however, record an early historical incident: nomad herdsmen, admitted into Lilith's Canaanite queendom as guests (see 16. 1), suddenly seize power and, when the royal household thereupon flees, occupy a second queendom which owes allegiance to the Hittite Goddess Heba.

The meaning of 'Eve' is disputed. Hawwah is explained in Genesis III. 20 as 'mother of all living'; but this may well be a Hebraicized form of the divine name Heba, Hebat, Khebat or Khiba. This goddess, wife of the Hittite Storm-god, is shown riding a lion in a rock-sculpture at Hattusaswhich equates her with Anath-and appears as a form of Ishtar in Hurrian texts. She was worshipped at Jerusalem (see 27. 6). Her Greek name was Hebe, Heracles's goddess-wife.

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viastro · 3 years

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daisies | kim sunwoo

ミ★ synopsis: the best type of revenge is to hurt the person that means the most to them. aka, in which sunwoo is in charge of making you fall in love with him, just to break your heart.

ミ★ genre: angst, some fluff

ミ★ warnings: mentions of vomit, slightly suggestive

ミ★ word count: 10,155

ミ★ pairings: sunwoo x female reader

ミ★ notes: this is dedicated to my other half, @sunlightwoo happy birthday gina, i’m so grateful god decided that i shouldn’t be lonely and have you be born three days after me. i know you’ll probably hate me for this oneshot, but i know daises was one of your favorites from me. i love you, my sunshine. no amount of words will ever express just how much you mean to me.

The music is loud against Sunwoo’s ears as he dances with a girl he doesn’t even know the name of, not that he wants to know her name. She turns around and wraps her arms around the back of his neck, giving him a smirk. “Enjoying the view?”

Sunwoo grins, leaning in towards her ear to whisper, “Maybe.”

The unknown girl giggles at the ticklish feeling from Sunwoo’s lips, only making his smile wider as he moves closer to ask,

“Wanna get out of here?”

“Sunu! Sunu, we have to go.” Sunwoo curses at the familiar voice, turning around to see Chanhee with a frantic expression on his face, and that’s when he knows it’s serious. “Is it Minji?”

“It’s Minji.” Sunwoo removes himself from the stranger’s arms without another word and follows after Chanhee. They hurry out of the club, the cold spring night air hitting them as they walk. Sunwoo stops for a moment, looking up at the stars as he wonders what could’ve happened.

“Sunwoo! Come on!” The black haired beauty takes one last breath of the night air, before rushing over to Chanhee’s car.

“Minji, please calm down!” Sunwoo hears as soon as he and Chanhee enter Minji’s house. His eyes widen when he hears a loud crash from upstairs, and he sprints up the stairs fast as he can, bursting in through her bedroom door to see Minji crying while holding a flower vase in hand. Her mom turns to look at Sunwoo helplessly, and he nods his head at her.

“Minji, look at me.” Sunwoo says softly, and she keeps her eyes trained to the floor as she clutches the vase tightly. He takes a few steps closer as Chanhee walks in quietly behind him, choosing to stay back since he knows Sunwoo handles these situations better. “Minji.”

It’s when she’s about to throw the vase that Sunwoo grabs her wrist to stop her, pulling her into a hug with his other arm. She freezes for a moment, before letting out a small sob into Sunwoo’s shoulder, closing her eyes as she takes in her best friend’s comforting scent. “It’s okay Minji, we’re here. Chanhee and I are here.”

Chanhee finally walks over, resting his hand on Minji’s back as she cries. He takes a glance at Sunwoo to see him with a stoic expression on his face, eyebrows slightly furrowed as the sounds of Minji’s sobs get louder.

who the fuck did this to her?

“I always knew Mark was a piece of shit. Can’t believe he’s already showing interest in another girl when you guys just broke up.” Sunwoo grumbles to himself as he places his water back down. The three of them are sitting on Minji’s floor, talking about what caused her breakdown. She lets out a small sigh, running a hand through her hair, “I should’ve listened to your protests from the start. He was too charming though.”

“That’s how they get you. I mean, look at Sunwoo.” The person in question chokes on his drink, turning to look at his lavender haired best friend with a furrow to his brow.

“Why the fuck am I being brought into this?”

“He’s a charming ass guy,” Chanhee continues, choosing to ignore Sunwoo. “That’s how he’s able to pull in any person he shows the slightest bit of interest in. Then when he gets what he wants, poof. He’s gone.” Sunwoo chuckles, not finding it in himself to deny Chanhee’s explanation.

Cause he’s right.

Minji’s eyebrows furrow once an idea comes to mind, and she stands up along with the plan forming in her head. Sunwoo and Chanhee look at her with confused expressions on their faces, and she flashes them a small smile.

“The best type of revenge is to hurt the person that means the most to them. Correct?” The two guys nod at her, not sure where she’s going with this.

“And Chanhee says that Sunu is a bit of a fuckboy, right?” Sunwoo rolls his eyes at the term, opening his mouth to argue and Minji flashes him a look. He sighs, nodding his head and leaning back onto the bed frame.

“What if we have Sunwoo swoop in and take the girl Mark’s interested in, have her fall completely in love with our sweet, sweet Sunu. Then he breaks her heart when the task is completed, so not only will Mark feel sad for her, but he’ll feel guilty knowing this wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t move on so fast.” Minji says with a grin, looking at her two friends to see their reactions. Chanhee frowns immediately at the idea, while Sunwoo stares back at Minji with an open-mouthed smirk.

“We haven’t done anything fun like this in a while, I think it’d be cool.” Minji claps her hands in glee at his response, about to start planning the whole thing when Chanhee intervenes. “I don’t think this is a good idea. I understand revenge on Mark, but why do we have to bring the girl into it? She didn’t do anything wrong to Minji.”

“I don’t see why not. Don’t be a party pooper Chanhee, just help us plan it out mm?” Chanhee stares at his two best friends, obviously seeing that he won’t be able to get through to them. He lets out a sigh, raising up his hand as a way of saying well, get along with it.

“Well what I know about this girl is that her name is yln yn. She’s a year younger than us and goes to the same uni. Apparently her and Mark were close when they were in high school, but lost contact when he moved.”

“So his first love basically.” Sunwoo states, and Minji nods at him. “Ding, ding, ding! You’re correct. She works at the flower shop down by that cat café near your guys’ apartment complex.”

“Sounds like you know a lot about her for someone who just got their heartbroken.” Minji slaps the back of Chanhee’s head and he lets out a small whine. Sunwoo chuckles as he watches Chanhee rub the back of his neck, glaring up at Minji.

“Have to know the enemy, don’t I?” She asks with a smirk. Sunwoo takes a sip of his water before turning towards Minji and asking, “So what’s the plan?”

She bites her lip excitedly, walking over to grab her corkboard and sticky notes. Minji turns back around with a big smile.

“Here’s what I was thinking…”

“I hope your wife enjoys the bouquet Mr.Lee!” He gives you a big smile, waving bye as he steps out of the shop. You let out a breath, feeling satisfied by another happy customer. Leaning back onto the counter, you grab your water bottle and take a sip, only to immediately choke and spit it back out into the bottle when the door chimes.

“Hi! Welcome to-” The words die in your throat when you lay eyes on the man who walked in. His black hair is slightly curled over his forehead, plush lips in a small pout as he takes a look around the store. He’s wearing a white turtleneck with a beige overcoat, making it appear as if he just came out of a photoshoot.

The infamous Kim Sunwoo, a senior at Seoul National University. He’s notorious for sweeping people off their feet in a matter of minutes, being both charming and handsome really works in his favor. You can’t deny that he’s the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, but you’ve heard the rumors.

don’t get pulled in.

He runs a hand through his hair, flashing you a smile as he steps over to the counter.

oh jesus.

“Hi, I heard you guys make really pretty bouquets?” You nod your head silently, and he cocks his head to the side.

oh BITCH! You’re supposed to speak!

“I mean, I guess so! I’d say bouquets and flower crowns are our specialty.” Sunwoo lets out a small smile, finding you to be a lot cuter than he originally expected. “What’s the occasion?”

Sunwoo takes a good look at you, analyzing your features as you look at him expectantly. He stares into your eyes, tilting his head when he sees how they sparkle back at him. He’s heard a lot about people holding stars in their eyes, but he never believed it.

Until now.

“Um, sir?” Sunwoo shakes his head, rubbing the back of his neck as he snaps himself out of his daze. You look down at your hands, feeling shy at the fact that you just caught Sunwoo basically checking you out. He grins at your shyness, “It’s my friend’s birthday soon, I wanted to get her something nice.”

“Okay, well here’s a photobook of our recent bouquets we’ve made, as well as the customer favorites. My favorite flowers are daisies, but I personally like bouquets with sunflowers because,”

Sunwoo listens attentively as you explain the different bouquets, and the meaning of the flowers added to them. He watches the way your eyes sparkle even more when you talk about something you’re passionate about, even letting out giggles when you look up at him with a bright smile on your face.

“Well, I suppose I’ll get the sunflower bouquet you recommended to me.” You nod your head, typing in the order into the computer. “Great decision.”

“What time will it be ready tomorrow?” Sunwoo asks, leaning forward onto the counter. You find yourself scooting backwards from the close proximity, choosing to look busy with the computer. “I can have it ready by 12 pm, if that works for you?” The pretty boy nods his head, grinning at your shyness.

this will be a piece of cake, Sunwoo thinks to himself.

“Yeah, that’s perfect. My name is Kim Sunwoo by the way.” You nod your head as you type in his name for the order. Glancing up from the computer screen you see him watching you with an amused expression on his face, and you raise an eyebrow. “Is there something on my face? Shit, it might be the sparkles from that ribbon...”

Sunwoo giggles at you, shaking his head. “No, there’s nothing on your face, yn.” You raise an eyebrow again, and he smiles. “How do you know my name?”

He points at your nametag, and you look down at your hands, letting out a small, ah.

i… am stupid.

“Both silly and beautiful, a great combo.” Your eyes widen at the compliment, realizing you’re about to be one of the people that Sunwoo breaks and that’s when you snap out of it. Sunwoo’s smile drops slightly when he sees you look at him with a serious expression on your face, stark contrast to the shy smile you were sporting previously.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Sunwoo.” He nods his head slowly, giving you a smile before walking out of the shop. You let out a breath, leaning back onto the counter and closing your eyes.

not gonna fall for it.

“It’s been two weeks and you’re telling me she still hasn’t fallen for you yet?” Minji asks Sunwoo as they hangout by the bar. They watch Chanhee from across the club, seeing him giggling with a girl. Sunwoo takes a sip of soju, letting out a sigh as he remembers his failed attempts of asking you on a date.

“No one’s ever said no to me before, so that shit kinda hurt my ego.” Minji rolls her eyes, muttering about how you must either be blind or stupid, or both.

probably both.

“Maybe I should’ve made Chanhee do it.” Sunwoo flashes her a glare, turning away to look around the club. His thoughts keep going back to the first time you turned him down, and he chugs the rest of his soju.

“Here’s the bouquet! I hope your friend likes them.” You tell Sunwoo with a smile, handing him the delicate yellow bouquet. He grins at the bright assortment, finding them a lot prettier than expected. He glances up at you, finding himself staring into your eyes once again as he says,

“She’ll love them, thank you.” You nod your head, typing into the computer that you’ve given the client the flowers. Sunwoo stands idle for a moment, and you look back at him, wondering why he hasn’t left yet.

“Is there something else-”

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” Your eyes widen, clearly taken aback by his request, before you chuckle, “No thank you.”

“Great! I’ll pick you up at- wait.” You stare at him in amusement as he fumbles over his words. “Did you say no?”

“I did.”

“Why?”

“I know the type of guy you are, Sunwoo.” Sunwoo’s shocked expression turns into an amused smile, and you watch as he even lets out a small laugh, shaking his head. He leans onto his elbows on the counter, staring into your eyes, “And what may that be?”

You smile, and he waits for your response. You lean onto the counter as well, watching as Sunwoo swallows from the close distance between the two of you that you initiated.

“The one that makes any girl he wants melt into putty in his hands. Then when he gets what he wants, he leaves. I’m not going to fall for it, Kim Sunwoo.” He blinks at you in shock, and you give him a sweet smile, leaning back and taking a sip of water from your water bottle.

“Have a wonderful day.” Sunwoo snaps out of his state of surprise, and lets out a deep chuckle, looking at you with a challenge to his eye.

“I’ll prove you wrong, pretty. I’ll see you around.”

Sunwoo scowls at the memory, and Minji lets out a sigh when she turns her head to see the crease between his eyebrows. She reaches up and rubs the area with her thumb until the frown disappears, and she gives him a smile.

“Let’s dance, hm?” Not waiting for his answer, she grabs Sunwoo’s hand and brings him onto the dance floor. They sway with each other for a few minutes, with Sunwoo clearly still thinking of you as he blindly follows Minji’s lead. She squints at how unusual Sunwoo’s being, and pats the top of his head.

“She’ll come around Sunu, they always do. When she does, remember the plan.” Minji says in an attempt to reassure him, and he bites his lip, thoughts trailing back to your smile as he says,

“She’s not like them though.”

“Sunwoo, why are you here again?” You ask boredly as you spray the daisies at the front of the shop, not even sparing him a glance. He freezes, before holding out an unopened boba, and you finally turn your head to see him looking at anything but you. “I got you the classic pearl green milk tea, I wasn’t sure what your favorite flavor was so I decided to play it safe.”

You stare for a moment, finding it sort of endearing that he’s too shy to even glance at you right now. Deciding to be nice, you reach out and take it, feeling warmth flood your face when he finally locks eyes with you. Sunwoo wipes his original surprised expression off his face, now smiling at the fact that you took the drink.

It’s been three weeks since Sunwoo’s ordered those flowers, and he’s visited the shop every time you're on shift. He hasn’t even bought flowers since the day he ordered the bouquet, he just comes to talk to you and help out in the shop. He keeps trying to take you out on a date, but you never give him the time of day. Your own boss has fallen for him, nudging your hip and telling you to “say yes to the handsome man already!” You’ve never heard of Sunwoo trying so hard to get with someone, let alone drag it out for three weeks. So now you’re left wondering if he genuinely does like you?

“It’s my favorite flavor, thank you.” Sunwoo lets out a sigh of relief, and the corner of your lip quirks up. You cough into your shoulder, turning around to walk back into the shop after an awkward silence settles over the two of you. He reaches out and grasps your elbow softly to stop you, and you slowly turn your head to look back at him.

“Are you going to ask me if I can go out with you again?”

“…”

“You already know my answer, Sunwoo.”

“Give me one night.�� You don’t pull away, and he takes it as a sign to continue. “Let me take you out on one date, and I’ll let you decide whether I’m the type of guy you think I am. You can leave whenever you want, I just want one chance with you.” You stare into his eyes, finding truth to his words, and you let out a sigh.

“Okay.” Sunwoo tries to fight the smile emerging onto his face, resulting in his pretty lips quivering a bit.

“Okay.”

“… Okay.”

“I’ll see you.” Sunwoo says, turning around and beginning to walk away. You immediately frown, “You’re not going to give me your number?!”

“Check the boba!” He yells back, and you glance at the cup to see his number written on it, along with a message.

have a good day at work, yn <3

Biting your lip to stop the warmth from rushing to your cheeks, you turn your head to look at Sunwoo’s retreating figure. A smile breaks out on your face when you see him raise his hands in the air in victory, and you feel your heart warm.

“I guess he’s serious.”

“Hey, I’m here.” Sunwoo says into his phone, and he chuckles at the numerous curses you mutter as you slip on your shoes in a hurry. “I’ll be out in a sec!”

Hanging up the phone, Sunwoo makes sure the passenger seat is clean. He grabs his water bottle, taking a sip as you step into the car. When he swallows the water, he opens his mouth to greet you, only to pause when he lays eyes on you.

Instead of the t-shirt, jeans, and apron he always sees you in at work, you’re wearing a pleated black skirt with a white dress shirt and an oversized argyle patterned vest over it. Feeling Sunwoo’s stare on your side-profile as you buckle in your seatbelt, you turn your head and lock eyes with him, and he snaps out of his daze.

“You, uh.” He coughs into his shoulder in an attempt to hide the blush rising up his cheeks, “You look pretty.” Sunwoo muttters, and you smile shyly.

“Thanks, you look nice too.” He chuckles, pulling out of your driveway. “Just nice?”

“Just nice Sunwoo, don’t push my kindness.” You joke and he rolls his eyes at you. He hands you his phone for you to aux, and you smile happily as you search up a Day6 song to play. Sunwoo sneaks glances at you, and you chuckle when you notice his eyes continuing to be trained on you through your peripheral vision.

“You’re gonna get us in an accident if you keep turning your head to look at me.” He sputters, and you laugh at his reaction. He takes one more look at you as you giggle, finding the sound of your laugh a lot cuter than he should.

“Where are we going for our date?” You ask, and he shrugs. He takes a right at the stoplight before grinning at your question. “You’ll see.”

“Oooh, so it’s a surprise?” Sunwoo doesn’t respond, instead letting out a small hum to the tune of Day6’s new song. You smile, looking out the window to take in the view of Seoul at night for the remainder of the car ride.

“So, how was the date? It’s been like three weeks since we all last hung out like this. I need updates, Sunwoo, updates.” Minji asks as she flips the brisket on the grill. Chanhee takes a cooked piece, turning to look at his friend for his response.

Sunwoo stares at the meat quietly, a small grin appearing on his lips as he remembers how your guys’ first date ended.

“Can’t believe you fell while we were ice skating.” You giggle, and Sunwoo lets out a whine, patting his rather sore butt. He shoots you a playful glare, to which you stick your tongue out at him as he walks you to your door.

“At least I know I was able to make you laugh that hard on our first date.” Sunwoo jokes, and you give him a small smile. You’re surprised that tonight was so fun, it truly exceeded your expectations. The surprise location was the ice skating rink, to which you were incredibly excited for.

Sunwoo brought you there in hopes that he could teach you how to skate, but little did he know, you already knew how to. It ended up becoming a competition between the two of who could do the most intricate tricks. You won though, because Sunwoo literally ate shit when he tried to do an axle.

“So yn, what’s your final opinion of me after tonight? Am I the type of guy you originally thought I was?” Sunwoo asks once the two of you make it to your doorstep. You stare at him for a moment, taking in his handsome features. Tonight’s date was fun, and you learned a lot more about him than you ever thought you would. He’s charming, funny, kind, and lastly, you find him to be genuine.

As you look at Sunwoo, you let out a small breath when you come up with your verdict, and he nervously awaits your response even though he hides it well.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” He repeats, and you give him a big smile as you open your front door. You slip off your shoes, and turn back to look at Sunwoo.

“Have to go on a second date to come up with my opinion.” You say, closing the door before he can ask more questions.

Sunwoo stands there for a moment, letting your words process in his brain. Once it finally hits him, he lets out a smile, clapping his hands in victory. Sunwoo pumps the air, stepping off your porch and heading towards his car with newfound confidence and excitement filling his veins.

It’s been three weeks since then, and you and Sunwoo have gone on three more “official dates.” The other times the two of you have hung out are for some reason, not considered dates, and more of you guys just bonding. Whether it be helping each other with homework, Sunwoo coming to help you at the shop, or the two of you doing late night convenience store runs to eat ramen, there’s something going on between the both of you.

Chanhee is able to sense something different as he stares at his friend, knowing that this was going to happen. Minji notices as well, considering that Sunwoo still hasn’t answered her question. She frowns at him, reaching out and slapping his arm. He jumps back, startled as he looks at his two best friends.

“You don’t like yn… right?” Minji asks, to which Sunwoo stares at her as memories of you flood his mind when he tries to come up with an answer.

He remembers the way your whole face lights up when food gets placed in front of you, and how you just let your glasses fog up when the two of you eat ramen. He’s tried to take your glasses off when you eat the hot noodle dish, but you would slap his hand away each time, giving him a smile.

“My glasses are just having a sauna, leave them be.”

Minji tilts her head to the side, and that’s when Sunwoo cracks a small smile, looking up at her. “No, I don’t like yn.”

You lay on your bed, scrolling through Twitter to try and find some cursed emoji pictures when you hear your front door unlock. Sunwoo steps in with a bucket of fried chicken, taking off his shoes and slipping into the pair of slippers you left by the door. He places the food on your kitchen counter, before walking over to your room and peeking his head inside to see you laying on your bed, not even giving him a glance.

“You know, if it wasn’t me who entered your house and instead it was some crazy serial killer, you absolutely would’ve died.” Sunwoo says, announcing his presence. You finally look away from your phone, giving him a sarcastic laugh before going back to Twitter. He scoffs, walking into your room and snatching your phone out of your hands.

“Hey!”

You open your mouth to argue, only for Sunwoo to interrupt by saying, “Come eat first, I brought chicken.” It promptly shuts you up, and you stand up off your bed, quickly following him into the kitchen.

You let out a squeal once you see the chicken, opening up the container and taking out a piece. You take a bite, and Sunwoo watches you with a knowing grin on his face. You squint your eyes at him, pointing at the chicken to get him to eat as well. He rolls his eyes, grabbing one and taking a bite.

The two of you spend the next half hour finishing up the chicken. With Sunwoo threatening to throw a bone at you, and you sneaking the crispy pieces of his chicken whenever he’s not looking. Once you’re both done though, you sit down on your couch, still a bit of space between the two of you.

You and Sunwoo have been hanging out for a month and a half now, him even having the spare key to your place while you have his. Sometimes he just randomly comes over to do homework on your floor which scares your roommate to death sometimes, while you sneak over to his at night to steal some of his soju when you run out. Other times you both just watch movies together or play video games. You don’t know what you guys are as neither of you have made a move to make it official.

In all honesty, all the two of you have done to progress your relationship is accidentally brush your hands together. Sunwoo’s just waiting to see if your opinion of him has officially changed, while you’re waiting for him to ask you to be his girlfriend as you are too shy to ask him.

“Yn.” You turn your head to look at Sunwoo, eyes glazing over his handsome features. His black hair that’s usually straight is resting in slight waves on his forehead, emphasizing the overall soft look that he has going on today. “Mm?”

“Have you come up with your final opinion?” Sunwoo asks, reaching out and tucking a stray piece of hair that fell over your nose behind your ear. When you look up into his eyes and he sees the sparkle in them, his hand freezes, staying rested on your cheek.

Your eyes slowly trail down at his pink lips, heart rate increasing when his tongue darts out to lick them. Sunwoo stares at you, feeling the tension in the room rise as he watches your eyes move back up from his mouth. His thumb brushes against your cheek, beginning to hear his heartbeat in his ears by how nervous he is.

“Yn.”

“Sunwoo.”

“Can I kiss you?” Sunwoo watches the way your eyes sparkle up at him, finding himself to be the luckiest man in the world to see you like this. You nod your head slowly, letting out a breath, “Yeah.”

Without wasting another second, Sunwoo leans in close and tentatively presses his lips to yours. Your hand reaches up, entangling your fingers into his hair. He pulls away, just to capture your lips again after a second of staring, slowly leaning you back until you’re laying on the couch.

i don’t like her. i don’t like yn. Sunwoo mutters in his brain like a mantra the more he kisses you. His hand lowers to your hip, squeezing it slightly when you tug on his hair again. He hears his heartbeat in his ears, tingles in his stomach when you slightly suck on his bottom lip.

i don’t like her. this is a game. this is for minji.

“Be my girlfriend?” Sunwoo whispers against your lips in between kisses, completely ignoring what the voices in his head are saying. You pull away, looking at him with wide eyes, but his gaze is focused on your pretty swollen lips.

“Did you just?” He glances up into your eyes, and he lets out a small smile. A giggle comes out of you, and you raise a hand to your warm face.

“Yeah, I’ll be your girlfriend, Sunu.” Sunwoo bites his lip as a grin breaks out onto his face, before leaning back down and kissing you breathless again.

if i didn’t like her, then why do i feel like this? why do i wanna kiss her more, why do i only want to kiss her, why do i not want her kissing anyone else like this?

why does it feel like this isn’t just some game anymore?

“You’re crazy.”

“Says the one who tried to duct tape their friend to the wall once.”

“Okay, in my defense,” You stare at Sunwoo from across the table, giving him an amused smile as you wait for him to continue. “Chanhee let me duct tape him to the wall. It was a joint effort, yn.”

You roll your eyes, reaching out and hitting his shoulder lightly, before taking a sip of your boba. Sunwoo smiles at the sparkle in your eyes, taking note that the sunlight hitting your skin is as beautiful as the cherry blossoms blooming in the spring.

It’s been two months since you and Sunwoo have called it official, three and a half months since the day you guys met, and the two of you have become the talk of your guys’ university. Everyone who knows Sunwoo as the guy who never settles, has finally settled. You’re in the limelight as well, girls either being envious or worried for you, and guys nodding their head in approval at Sunwoo’s decision.

“You’re really pretty like this.” Your eyes widen in surprise at the sudden compliment, beginning to feel shy by Sunwoo’s stare. You look down at your boba, small smile taking over your features. “Like what?”

“Happy. You look pretty when you’re happy.” Sunwoo mutters softly, eyes holding an emotion that is indecipherable to you.

But it’s easy to read for Chanhee as he stares at the two of you from across the cafe. He shakes his head in disappointment, knowing that Sunwoo’s going to have to tell you the truth one day. Chanhee watches as Sunwoo reaches out and rests his hand over yours, a happy smile forming on his face when you make a joke.

i haven’t seen him this happy with another girl in a long time, Chanhee thinks to himself, taking one last sip of his boba. He walks over to the front doors, throwing his cup in the trash. He takes one more glance at the two of you, now finding you excitedly telling Sunwoo a story of who knows what while the latter just stares at you with a fond smile on his face.

All Chanhee knows is that you’re happy, and Sunwoo’s happy, but it’s going to be taken away as soon as you find out the truth.

“Sunwoo, when are you going to end things with yn? It’s been over three months since you two became ‘official’, I’m pretty sure she’s already head over heels for you.” Minji asks from her couch. She blows on her newly painted nails, making sure they dry properly. Chanhee shoots the striped ball into the pocket, taking note of the way Sunwoo visibly stiffens after the question is asked.

“She’s not head over heels.” Sunwoo answers, nodding his head once Chanhee misses the next striped ball. He leans down, getting ready to hit a solid. “Are you sure that’s it? Or have you forgotten our fucking plan?”

Sunwoo pauses, turning his head to look at Minji, only to find her glaring at him. Chanhee lets out a small sigh, pulling out his phone to try and distract himself as the tension in the room rises. Sunwoo rolls his eyes, turning back towards the pool table.

“You’re supposed to make yn fall in love with you and then break her heart so that Mark feels horrible. Did you forget that because you think she’s some good fuck?” Sunwoo slams the pool stick down on the table, actively startling Minji and Chanhee.

“You know that yn hasn’t even mentioned Mark since I first started talking to her? He hasn’t tried to see her either, you know that? It makes me wonder why you even decided to target yn in the first place.” Sunwoo says, turning his head to see Minji’s reaction. He watches as her demeanor shifts slightly, suddenly appearing to look guilty, and he squints at her. Sunwoo pushes off the pool table and walks over to Minji so that he’s standing a few feet from her.

“And don’t you ever degrade yn to just being a good fuck again.” Minji blinks up at Sunwoo, not used to having his anger directed towards her. Her initial shock shortly turns into rage. Laughing, she stands up off the couch to stand her ground. “What a joke, you fucking fell for her didn’t you?”

Sunwoo turns away, clenching his fists as he stares out Minji’s window. Chanhee watches from the pool table, feeling wracked by nerves as he watches his two best friends argue for the first time ever.

“Kim Sunwoo, the man at Seoul National University who was unattainable. The one who was called cold hearted because he’d break the hearts of people left and right, has developed feelings for the pawn in our game.” Minji sneers, now staring at Sunwoo with an amused look on her face. He finally turns and stares directly down into Minji’s eyes, feeling anger flood through him.

“And what about it?” Minji’s mouth drops open slightly, having not expected him to confess. Chanhee stares between the two of them, afraid of the tension rising in the room. “W-What?”

“I’m in love with yn. She’s witty, intelligent, funny, kind, beautiful; if you made a list of all the good traits in the ideal person then that’s yn’s description. I’m not going to play her like that, she’s no longer just a game. And I’m not going to be a pawn in your revenge plot anymore either.” Sunwoo states, before turning around to go and grab his phone. Minji reaches out and grabs his arm, but he doesn’t look back.

“You think she’s going to forgive you when she finds out?”

The room stays silent for a moment, and Minji thinks she’s won from the way Sunwoo’s staring at the floor. Her heartbeat picks up when Sunwoo rips his arm from her grasp, turning to glance at her.

“No, and I hope she won’t ever forgive me when she finds out. Yn deserves someone better than me. Someone who won’t blindly follow their friend and purposefully hurt a girl who didn’t do anything to be involved in this.” Sunwoo states, and Chanhee bites the inside of his cheek, looking down at the floor.

“I’m a horrible, selfish person for what I have done to yn, but I’m going to do at least one thing right and tell yn the truth, myself.” Sunwoo explains, before turning and walking towards the door, raising his hand up to grab the door handle.

“If you walk out that door, we’re no longer friends Sunwoo.” Minji threatens in one last weak attempt to get Sunwoo to stay, feeling afraid that she’s about to lose him. That she no longer has the control she once had over her best friend.

Sunwoo stills for a moment, before grabbing the door handle and ripping the door open, shutting it directly behind him. The slam of the door echoes through the room, a sense of finality settling itself upon Minji and Chanhee.

“Fuck.”

You hum quietly as you tend to the orchids, finding the blue ones to be incredibly pretty on this sunny day. The sound of the door chime rings throughout the shop, and you turn your head to greet the incoming customer.

“Hi! Welcome to Bloom Bloo-”

“Yn?” Your eyes widen when you recognize your old friend, immediately breaking out into a smile as you stand up at your full height to wave at him.

“Mark! What are you doing here?” You ask as you walk over towards him, and he gives you a grin as he opens his arms and pulls you into his embrace. Your eyes widen slightly at the skinship, having briefly forgotten how Mark shows his love as you tentatively wrap your arms around him, patting his back.

“I came to order a burger and fries, actually.” Mark answers when he pulls away, and you squint at the man, pushing him with your hand as you walk over to the register, listening to him laugh that contagious laugh of his from behind you.

“Haha, so funny.” You say, trying to fight back the smile that’s threatening to break out onto your face. Mark catches it though, and giggles to himself. “Based on the smile you’re fighting, I can see that you hold some truth behind that statement.”

You shake your head, turning back towards your friend and getting a good look at him. His brown hair is parted to the side, showing off his forehead and nice eyebrows. He’s wearing a brown hoodie with a black puffer jacket over it, and you purse your lips, wondering why it seems like he put in a bit more effort into his appearance.

“Are you checking me out, yn?” Mark asks with a teasing grin, and you roll your eyes. You open your mouth to respond, only to pause when you hear a familiar voice ring through the shop.

“You better be talking about a bouquet of flowers.” You and Mark look towards the entrance to see Sunwoo standing there, frown on his face. He squints when he locks eyes with Mark, and the brunette raises an eyebrow when he recognizes the man.

“Sunwoo?”

“Sunu, with how much you come into the shop, you should just apply for a job here.” You joke, watching as Sunwoo’s features immediately soften slightly when he looks over at you. He lets out a small smile, shaking his head at you.

“I wouldn’t be able to bring in as many customers as you, anyways.” Sunwoo tells you, walking over and patting your head over the counter.

You grin, grabbing one of the daisy flower crowns you made in the morning and placing it over Sunwoo’s head. Mark glances between the two of you, and he finds himself squinting at Sunwoo when he remembers his reputation on campus.

“You two are dating?” Mark asks, and you nod your head.

“For a bit over four months now.” Sunwoo adds, feeling his heart thump against his chest as Mark stares at him with a hint of suspicion in his gaze. The brunette simply turns back towards you, and gives you a smile.

“I’m happy for you, yn. You’ve been single for as long as I can remem-” Mark sputters when you spray him with the spray bottle full of water, and Sunwoo bites back the laugh that almost escapes him. Mark wipes his eyes and shoots you a glare, making you giggle a bit.

“Yn! I have a date in an hour, don’t ruin my hair.” Mark whines, and you laugh, “Then don’t boast about how lonely I was!”

A frown forms on Sunwoo’s face as he watches you and Mark begin to discuss the numerous bouquet options he can choose from for his upcoming date. The memory of Minji saying that you were the one Mark was showing interest in plays in his mind, and he bites the inside of his cheek, wondering if that was ever even true.

“Take care of those, I made that bouquet this morning!” You say, breaking Sunwoo out of his thoughts as Mark carefully takes the arrangement of flowers from your grasp. He nods his head, “Careful is my middle name.”

“Yeah, yeah. Have fun on your date!” You tell Mark, and he smiles, nodding his head. It comes to Sunwoo’s surprise when Mark turns to him, gesturing towards the door.

“Can you get the door for me, man?” Sunwoo nods his head, walking over and pushing open the door for him. The brunette smiles, walking through the door, but stopping to quietly mutter,

“I know how your trio used to do things in high school, and I know that Minji was upset when I ended things. I only broke up with her because I learned of the type of people you guys are. This better not be one of your trio’s games, because yn doesn’t deserve that. And if it is, then end it now.”

Sunwoo stands frozen as Mark gives him one more smile and sends a wave towards you, before walking out the door. You tilt your head at your boyfriend, wondering why he looks so guilty as he stares down at the ground.

“Sunwoo? Are you okay?” You ask, seemingly breaking him out of his daze. Sunwoo looks back towards you, giving you a smile as he walks over. “Did Mark say something? He’s always been protective, even when we were younger.”

Sunwoo shakes his head at you, reaching out across the counter and taking ahold of your hand. You raise an eyebrow, watching as Sunwoo cups your hand within both of his.

“What’s on your mind, Sunu?”

“Are you free tomorrow?” Sunwoo asks instead, and you stare at him in silence for a moment. You let out a small giggle, shaking your head and reaching out with your free hand, patting the top of his head, the delicate petal of one of the daisies brushing against your wrist.

“Were you nervous about asking me on a date? That’s so cute, but yes. I should be free tomorrow.” Sunwoo gives you a smile, and you find that it doesn’t really reach his eyes as he stares at you.

“Great. I’ll meet you at the bus stop tomorrow, okay?” Sunwoo asks, and you nod your head, warmth flooding your face as you stare at your boyfriend. Sunwoo bites the inside of his cheek from the stars in your eyes, wondering how he’ll ever be able to tell you the truth. He lets go of your hand after pressing a soft kiss to the back of it, turning and walking towards the doors, but stopping to glance back at you.

“See you, pretty.” Sunwoo tells you, and you smile at the nickname.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Sunwoo!” He grins, pushing open the glass doors and walking out of the shop.

The smile on his face falls once he’s far from the flower shop, and he takes a deep inhale of the Summer air, the daisy flower crown that’s resting over his head suddenly feeling heavy. He finds that it resembles the weight of his heart as he knows that everything’s about to be broken.

one day. i just want to spend one last day with yn.

You sit on the bench by the bus stop, waiting for Sunwoo to arrive so that the two of you can go to the aquarium. You unlock your phone to see if there’s a new message from him, only to see no new notifications.

“I know the feeling.” You jump up, turning towards the sudden voice to find a pretty girl standing beside you. Her brown hair falls in waves down her shoulders, and she’s wearing an off the shoulder floral top paired with a beige skirt. You tilt your head to the side, finding her rather familiar.

“Hi yn, I’m Minji. Sunwoo’s friend.” She introduces, and you have to stop yourself from letting out an ohhh because now you recognize her. “Oh, hi Minji.” You reach out and shake her hand, giving her a smile.

“Are you waiting for the bus?” You ask, and she shakes her head, letting out a small laugh. “I drove. In all honesty, I came to pick you up.”

You raise your eyebrows in surprise, having no clue as to where you’d even go since you haven’t met Minji before. She gives you a smile, “Sunwoo told me to come get you because he’s running a bit late due to Chanhee being silly, per usual. He said he’ll come pick you up at my house.”

“He did?”

“You don’t believe me?” You immediately raise your hands up to tell her you didn’t mean to imply that she’s a liar, but Minji stops you right away while giggling at your antics. “I was kidding yn, don’t worry. Now, do you want to come hangout at my house or do you want to wait here by the bus stop?”

You stare at her for a moment, before letting out a small smile. “I think there’s an obvious answer in that question.”

“Wow! Your house is so nice.” You state as you stare in awe at all the beautiful artworks put on display. Minji waves her hand at you, telling you not to flatter her so much. You follow her up to her room, still looking around with child-like fascination.

damn, this almost makes me feel bad. she’s kinda sweet. Minji thinks to herself as the two of you finally make it up to her room. She places her bag down by her bed, removing the earrings from her ears. You stand shyly by the door, unsure of where to sit, or if you’re even allowed to sit. Minji turns towards you with a grin on her face.

“You can sit over there, yn.” She tells you, pointing over towards the small couch in the corner by her desk. You nod, walking over to go and sit down, only to pause once you see a corkboard laying over the wooden surface.

“I’m going to use the restroom, be right back.” Minji announces, a smile on her face when she sees you staring at the board. She walks out of the room, pulling her phone out of her pocket to call Sunwoo.

“What?” Sunwoo answers as he heads towards the bus stop where you’re waiting. He lets out a soft smile down at the lavender daisies he bought on his way, planning to surprise you with them since they’re your favorite flower. He remembers the small box in his room, a gift he plans to give you after you guys get back from the aquarium. “Just wanted to let you know that you should probably turn around and head over to my house.”

Your hand slowly lifts up the board, tears filling your eyes.

“Why?” Sunwoo pauses when he doesn’t see you sitting at the bench the two of you agreed to meet at. He lowers the flowers once he realizes what Minji means, cursing to himself before turning around and beginning to sprint.

“Have a nice run.” Minji says cheerfully, hanging up the phone and placing it onto the bathroom counter. She smiles, walking into the bathroom to splash water onto her face in an attempt to wash away the small feeling of regret.

You stare at the photos of you taken from your social media, gaze following the red line that lands on different notes with the names of the places you work and hangout at. Your heart shatters as you read the instructions on what to do when Sunwoo meets each new step with you. Your eyes land on the very last note, and it takes everything in you to not crumple onto the floor.

break her heart.

The feeling of wanting to vomit builds up in your throat, the realization that you were just a pawn in their sick game slamming into you like a train. That you fucking fell for it, you fell for him. You drop the board, stepping away from it as if it’s cursed. You quickly leave the room, dashing down the steps and running out the door. Minji watches from upstairs, letting out a sigh once you slam the door shut.

The tears blur your vision as you run off her property, trying to get as far away as you can. You slam straight into a hard chest, stumbling backwards that their hands have to reach out and grasp your arms so that you don’t fall. You wipe away your tears with the back of your hands, opening your mouth to apologize, only to stop when you realize who helped you.

Sunwoo stares back at you, sweat dripping down his face from running, purple daisies on the ground beside him, now missing multiple petals. You rip your arms out of his grasp, feeling a sob bubble up in your chest as the two of you stare at each other in silence.

“Yn, I-”

“Don’t. Just. Stay away from me.” You state, attempting to walk around him, only for him to stop you.

“Yn, please. Let me explain. I can tell you everything, please just-”

“Explain what? That you used me for your revenge plot? That you strung me along for months when I had nothing to do with what happened between Mark and Minji? That you just think of me as some fucking joke?” Sunwoo shakes his head, grasping your arms to try and plead with you. The sob finally breaks out, and you reach up to cover your face. “God, no. Yn, you’re not a joke. You could never be a joke. I never meant for it to get this far. It was all a plan at first but then I got to know you and I fell in l-”

“S-Save it. I don’t want to hear anymore lies.” You mutter, and Sunwoo’s eyes begin to water when you remove his hands from your arms. You stare at him, tears continuing to fall from your eyes as you do so, wondering how you let this happen.

how you let yourself fall for him.

“I-I just wanted one more day. One more day with you, and I was going to tell you everything.” Sunwoo chokes out, hands shaking by his sides as he waits for a response. After a moment of silence, he tentatively reaches up to try and rest his hand on your cheek, “Please, yn. Let me explain-”

“How come I have to get punished just because I love you?”

Sunwoo pauses, staring into your pained eyes as his hand slowly lowers back down to his side. The sparkle that he was so used to, now replaced with the glassiness from your tears. You wipe away the wetness on your cheeks, realizing you confessed that you love him for the first time.

How unfortunate.

With that, you turn around and walk away from him, not looking back. Sunwoo watches your figure shrink until you’re out of sight, and he drops to his knees, tears finally streaming down his face. He rests his face onto his arm, crying loudly as his heart completely shatters from what he ruined. While Minji watches from her gate, gulping down the feeling of guilt as she stares at her best friend experiencing heartbreak for the first time.

“I hope you’re eating well and taking care of yourself. I-” Sunwoo says into the phone as he stares up at his ceiling. Chanhee stares at him from his doorway, feeling sad for his best friend. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Sunwoo mutters, ending the call before the voicemail can catch the sound of him crying. He places his phone beside him, covering his face with his hands to try and muffle his sobs.

It’s been three weeks since you found out the truth, and Sunwoo’s been calling you everyday since then. He’s refused to leave his room unless it’s to use the restroom or grab food. Other than that, he rots in his bed all day, the feeling of regret and resentment towards himself flooding his veins.

That and soju, lots of soju.

“Sunu, do you want me to bring in the dinner I made?” Chanhee asks, and Sunwoo doesn’t answer, turning over in bed and covering his face with a pillow instead. “You need to eat.”

Sunwoo just curls up even more, closing his eyes as more tears escape. Chanhee lets out a small sigh, walking out to go and grab the food anyways. He lifts up the tray, carefully stepping back into Sunwoo’s room and placing it on his desk.

“It’s there if you need it.” Chanhee says softly, before closing the door.

While you, you’ve also been laying in bed for the past three weeks. Currently you’re listening to the last voicemail Sunwoo left you, crying as you hear his voice shake towards the end when he apologizes. You turn over, clutching your pillow tightly against your chest as you sob. Your roommate looks at your closed door, concern written all over their features as they hear your loud cries.

You haven’t been to work as you called in sick. Your manager understands, having heard from your roommate that you’re not in the best mental state. All you’ve done is eat, sleep, and sit in the shower for hours at a time, just letting the water run over you.

While Sunwoo has hurt you deeply, you can’t help but miss him. You yearn to hear out his side, try and be understanding, try again, but then you remind yourself that you were just a game.

just a game.

“Hi, is yn home?” Your roommate points towards your room. “Be careful though, she hasn’t really left her room for the past month.”

Chanhee gives her an understanding nod, knowing that Sunwoo’s doing the same thing. He slips off his shoes, before walking over to your door and knocking softly on the surface. You turn your head, muttering for them to come in, expecting your roommate. Your eyes widen when the door opens and you recognize Chanhee, Sunwoo’s best friend. You sit up, clutching the pillow tightly.

“What are you doing here?” Chanhee tentatively reaches his hands out, handing you a bag. You raise an eyebrow, taking it from him and looking inside. You let out a breath when you see a jewelry box. You lift it out of the bag, slowly opening it and biting back another sob when you lay eyes on the necklace.

“He was going to give it to you the day you guys were supposed to go to the aquarium, as a way to tell you he loves you, and that he’s sorry.” Chanhee explains, and you stare at the way the light reflects against the daisy pendant of the necklace.

“I know you might not want to hear this at all, but I’ve never seen Sunwoo pine after someone, let alone fall in love with one. Yet, I saw both of those things happen with you.” You slowly look up at Chanhee, who’s giving you a small, hopeful smile. “I know what he did was shitty, I tried to stop them from including you in the plan in general. I just, I’ve seen how you’ve changed him for the better. I know Sunwoo, and I know that he really regrets what he did. He wouldn’t be calling and texting you everyday if he didn’t. He doesn’t even text me, honestly.”

You look at the necklace, feeling sad, but somehow a bit better, more reassured. You glance back up at Chanhee, giving him a nod. “Thank you Chanhee.”

He gives you a smile, “Of course. Anything for your guys’ happiness.”

It’s been a month and a half since everything happened, and you’re finally leaving your room. It’s not much in your eyes, but your roommate was ecstatic about it, even though it’s just a trip to the convenience store. It’s also quite literally two am, but they said, any outside air is good air! You trudge over in your grey sweats and oversized black sweater, lifting up your glasses to rub your eye with the back of your hand.

Once you’re at the convenience store, you head straight towards the ramyun, grabbing the eight pack and walking out of the aisle. You step over to the register, pulling out your card to pay for it. The chime of the door opening grabs your attention, and you tiredly look up, only to freeze when you lock eyes with Sunwoo.

He doesn’t look any better, bags prominent under his eyes, black t-shirt hanging loosely on his shoulders. However, you still see him as the most handsome guy you’ve ever seen. Shock is evident on his features as he stares at you, unsure of what to do. Sunwoo’s eyes trail down when something flickers at him, seeing the daisy pendant glimmer back at him from the light. He opens his mouth to say something, only for you to turn back towards the cashier once they hand you the bag of ramyun and your receipt.

Sunwoo clenches his fist, walking over towards the aisle where the soju is. You let out a shaky sigh, turning your head to look at his retreating figure, debating on following after him. After a moment, you shake your head, choosing to walk out of the store sadly.

Sunwoo stares at the box of soju for a moment after hearing the bells, signaling you left the store. He bites the inside of his cheek, having an internal battle with himself.

What if she doesn’t even wanna talk to me? She hasn’t answered my calls or texts for the last month and a half, that means she hates me.

I have no chance, she’ll never forgive me.

She shouldn’t forgive me for what I did.

I miss her.

Fuck.

Sunwoo immediately turns around and runs towards the door, forcefully shoving it open and feeling the cool night air hit him. He’s about to rush in the direction of your house, but immediately stops when he sees you waiting right there, sitting on the steps, your bag of ramyun placed beside you. You slowly turn your head, looking up at Sunwoo.

“Yn.”

“Sunwoo.”

The two of you stare in silence again, and you break it by patting the empty space beside you.

“I don’t think anyone will come to the shop in awhile, it’s literally two am.” You say, and Sunwoo lets out a breathless chuckle. He takes another step before sitting down beside you, and that’s when you both fall into another silence. Except this time it’s more comforting, being with each other after yearning for so long but knowing it was best to stay away.

“You look like shit.” You state, effectively breaking the silence, and Sunwoo glances at you, a grin gracing his features. He turns away, shaking his head and looking up towards the stars. “I know.”

You follow suit, staring up at the stars as well. A small smile appears on your face after a moment, and you turn your head to look at Sunwoo, only to realize he’s already staring at you. He lets out a content sigh, finding the stars slowly making their way back into your eyes. You turn away once you feel the warmth rush up to your cheeks, choosing to look at the parked car in front of the two of you. He looks back up towards the stars, trying to find which one shines the brightest.

Sunwoo comes to the conclusion that you shine brighter than the billions of stars in the sky as he does so.

“I’m sorry.” Sunwoo says after a moment, the sound of resentment present in his voice, and you let out a breath.

“I know.”

The two of you sit in silence, staring at your surroundings. A tear slips past your eye, and you wipe it away with your sweater paw. You wrap your arms around your knees, hugging them close to your chest as you stare at the empty road.

“I missed you, Sunwoo.” Sunwoo harshly bites the inside of his cheek, tears falling past his eyes as he continues to stare up at the night sky.

“I missed you too, yn.”

You let out a shaky breath after a moment, before leaning over and resting your head on Sunwoo’s shoulder. He freezes slightly at the contact, but relaxes. After a moment, he lays his head over yours, and that’s when you both know you’ll be okay.

we’ll be okay.

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