#I gotta stream more often it always leaves me in a good mood

[rozugold]

It’s 3am /pos

#rozoodles #havin a great time just sitting and existing rn #good way to start of the bday me thinks #I gotta stream more often it always leaves me in a good mood

[bokubonk]

your name

warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, insecurity, cursing

characters: Tanaka x gn!reader, Saeko

date: 04/11/21

word count: 1.6k+

It was Friday and you were heading to the convenience store to buy snacks for your weekly movie night with Tanaka. It was something you looked forward to all week considering he was the one you liked and these movie nights gave you hope that maybe he liked you back. After all, he never invited anyone else to them and they always led to you falling asleep in his arms, which he never protested to. 

It had been going on for a long time now since the two of you were childhood friends but over the years your feelings developed and now, you held onto the hope that the hours the two of you spent together meant something more. 

You walked with a bounce in your step, quickly picking out your favorite snacks, knowing the two of you had similar tastes. You rushed to pay for everything and quickly hurried out the door, wanting to be there to greet him once he came home after practice. 

He always scolded you for waiting out in the cold when you could be waiting inside but you wanted to be the first one to welcome him home so you always waited. For you, it was worth the risk of getting sick. 

You leaned against the wall, hands fumbling with the straps of your bag. It was getting colder and you were a little worried that something had happened. Normally, he got home within fifteen minutes of you being there but it had been almost forty five minutes and he had yet to show up. 

With furrowed brows you decided to knock on the door, hoping that maybe Tanaka had been told to stay behind to practice and your expression brightened when you saw Saeko.

“Oh? Y/n, what are you doing here?” she inquired, her voice raspy and her cheeks flushed from what appeared to be a cold. “Did he not text you?”

Your smile dropped and your chest tightened.

“What do you mean?” 

You nervously gripped the bag of food in your hand, reaching into your pocket to pull out your phone.

Your eyes widened when you saw the message on the screen that had clearly been sent hours ago. 

I’m going on a date tonight so I gotta cancel movie night. I promise I’ll make it up to you.

“Oh,” you murmured, blinking away your tears. She stared at you with pity in her eyes and you put on your best smile, hoping she wouldn’t be able to see through the cracks. 

“I guess I’ll just head home then. Have a good night,” you said, struggling to keep your voice steady. “It’s getting late so you should stay inside and rest,” you handed over the bag of snacks, “I know it’s not going to do much for your cold but you should eat these if you’re hungry.”

She shook her head, her eyes full of concern and she went back inside to grab her keys. “C’mon, I’ll drive you home. It’s not right for you to be out so late at night without anyone with you.”

You shook your head.

“It’s okay. It’s not that far of a walk anyway. I’ll be alright.”

“That brother of mine may be an idiot but I know how much you mean to him. I just don’t understand what he thinks he’s doing, going out on a date with someone else.”

You let out a laugh, “Yeah, I guess that makes two of us.”

It wasn’t a surprise that Saeko was sympathizing with you, considering how obvious your feelings were for her brother. Often, you saw her winking at you whenever she would spot the two of you cuddling in his room. Anyone could see how you felt about him if they looked hard enough but you figured you didn’t matter enough to Tanaka for him to realize you were in love with him. 

Perhaps this was your time to let go of him. Maybe this was fate’s way of saying you should give up. 

You let out a bitter laugh and steeled your nerves for what was to come. But you were comforted with the thought that at least he would be happy with whoever he went out with tonight even though you wished with all your heart that it was you. 

By the time you came home, you were no longer in the mood to eat anything, your thoughts so preoccupied with who he was on a date with. 

What did they look like? Did they make him smile? 

You laid awake, thinking about all these possibilities and you hated yourself for it. You hated yourself for still holding on even though you promised to let him go. 

It certainly didn’t help that you had the weekend to dwell on your thoughts and it was taking a toll on your health. Your dark circles were more prominent and with Monday coming up you weren’t sure how you would face him. 

So you did the next best thing and decided to avoid him at all costs, walking the other way whenever you saw him in the halls. You wondered if he even remembered you were missing from his life but from the goofy smile on his face whenever you stumbled into his path, you figured you had been forgotten. 

It hurt to know that after so many years, you had been so easily forgotten but you were glad that at least he found someone who made him happy. 

But when Friday came, your plans to ignore him went down the drain when you saw him waiting for you after class ended. You tried pushing past him and pretending you hadn’t seen him but he only came after you, grabbing you by your wrist and dragging you into an empty classroom to talk. 

“What’s going on?” he demanded, “Why are you ignoring me?”

When you only responded with your silence he let out a sigh, “If it’s because of movie night then I promise I’ll never cancel on you ever again. The date sucked anyway.”

“I don’t want to hear about your date, Ryu,” you replied, trying your best to ignore the tight feeling in your chest.

“Hey, hey, why are you crying? I said I’m sorry. Do you want me to take you shopping to make it up to you? We can have movie night every night if you want, anything, please just stop crying.”

You could tell he was desperate, but you were too hurt to allow things to go back to the way they were before. It had been too long that you allowed yourself to have feelings for him when you clearly knew he didn’t feel the same. After all, if he did then why would he go on a date with someone else.

“It’s fine. We don’t need to have any more movie nights. I’m getting pretty busy anyway. I’m sure you have to practice late too. You should prioritize volleyball.”

You kept your voice steady even with the tears streaming down your cheeks but that only made him more frustrated. Tanaka knew you were upset but unlike before, now you were refusing to forgive him and he was worried that he had fucked it all up and this would be the moment he lost you.

“What the fuck, y/n? Why are you being like this? I already apologized. What more do you want from me?”

He didn’t mean to be so forceful with his words but your cold demeanor worried him and he was desperate to bring things back to the way they were. 

“I want you to love me,” you sobbed, unable to bear putting up a front any longer. “But I know you don’t and I’m trying to let you go so please just leave me alone.”

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. “Who the fuck said I didn’t love you?” 

“You went out on that date,” you sniffled.

“Yeah? Were you jealous?” he asked, his voice soft. He cursed himself for making you cry but he couldn’t hold back the affection in his voice now that he knew you felt the same. Tanaka only wished he had known earlier or he would have never wasted his time going on a date with someone else. 

“Of course I was,” you scoffed, “You don’t see me going on dates with anyone else so why would you go out with someone else if you had feelings for me.”

“Because I was trying to get over you and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” he admitted, lowering his head in a sort of bow. Now that he thought about it, he realized just how stupid he was and he hated himself for ever thinking it was a good idea in the first place. “But I ended up fucking myself over anyway because the date sucked and you started ignoring me.”

“I wasn’t ignoring you,” you muttered while he lifted his head and quirked an eyebrow at you. You rolled your eyes and he gently took your face between his calloused hands so you couldn’t look away. 

“Hey, y/n,” he murmured, his eyes bright. “Ask me why the date sucked.”

You furrowed your brows, unsure but you followed his command anyway.

“Why did your date suck?”

“Because it wasn’t with you,” he replied, leaning closer until he was inches away and you were a hairsbreadth away from kissing. “You were all I could think about and it got to the point where I accidentally called them by your name.”

“Now, tell me. Can I finally do the honors of taking you out on a date?” he questioned.

“Yeah,” you answered, your breathing hitching as he closed the distance between the two of you.

“Good, because I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.”

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[iwishtobeastorm]

Congratulations on your 200 followers! I’m proud to be one of them! Can I request a Frankie Morales with plus size reader? Maybe reader thinks that Frankie likes someone else? 🥺 angst and fluff? Thank you so much in advance, I love your writing.

“I was afraid I’ll lose you.“ “Never.“

A/N: Thank you so so so much babe! I'm so grateful you're following me and that you like my work. 💕 When I saw you requested Frankie I almost fainted because I love the man more than anything and I couldn't wait to finally write something about him. I hope this angsty fluffy thing won't disappoint!

The most dangerous thing - Frankie Morales/Chubby!F!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff

Word count: 2200+

Celebration | Masterlist

It's as if everything around you stopped, the whole world just froze, the sounds got drowned by silence, the light turning into darkness as a huge wound opens in your chest sucking in all the warmth that you felt after Santi's last joke. You can't look away, your wide opened eyes filling with tears, before Benny nudges your shoulder, taking you back, your gaze snapping to him, the loud roaring of the bar fills your ears as you're met with the baby blue of his irises, watching you with worry. "Y/N, are you okay?" He speaks softly, his hand squeezing on your shoulder. You don't know what to say. You're sure he can tell perfectly you're not okay by the hot tears running down your cheeks. "Uhm, sure. I just need a minute," you murmur, wiping your cheeks with the back of your hands as you rise from the table, rushing to the toilets before any of the boys come back to sit down or before Benny's able to stop you. You close the door behind you, locking in, before you lean your back against it, covering your mouth with your hand to muffle your sobs as you slowly slip to the ground, clutching your knees to your body, your tears now coming in burning streams, blurrying your vision. All of this for one man.

You've met the boys while working at the bar as a part-time job to have more money to cover your university life. You immediately grew to the whole group, spending maybe too much time joking around with them for your boss's liking. They've always flirted with you, or most of them did. Most of them, but never Frankie. And you being the little fool you're, of course you fell in love with him. He was always quiet and shy, never holding an eyecontact for too long, never teasing you. He rarely spoke to you at first, which made him even more attractive in your eyes, more mysterious. But when he started talking to you? Oh boy. You learned how smart he is and so perceptive, while he told you about a new book or an article he read or that caught his eyes, while he waited for the rest of the group and you hanged on his every word, watching him with unhidden fascination. You know he's older than you, but that doesn't mean the two of you couldn't work together. Actually you think you two would make an amazing couple. You can imagine falling asleep in his arms while he reads to you or spending the weekends with the boys, playing pool or cards like they sometimes do, as Benny told you once. You could get used to the life with him more than easily, but those are all daydreams. The longer time you've known them, the more you found out about Frankie and his past. You got to know he's divorced and has a little daughter and that all of the boys served in special forces, that's where their nicknames come from. The more you've heard about Frankie the more you grew to him. A few months ago you were invited to Benny's b-day party and ever since that, you hang out with them from time to time. You know you technically don't belong there, but they never made you feel like the third wheel, more like the little princess they all have to protect as your knights in shining armor. That's when you got significantly closer to Frankie. You two found yourself caught up in your own conversation more and more often, sometimes leaving the noisy company of the rest of the boys, just sitting on Millers' patio in the rocking chairs and talking about everything and nothing, laughing together until your ribs got tough sometimes. Frankie brought out a part of you you didn't know you had. All of those little things made you believe it was going the right way. You go along well, right? What else should matter? Until today Frankie was late. You were late yourself bacuse you had an important assignment to finish, but Frankie was never late. He was always the first one there, always. It made you worried, because apparently none of the boys knew what was actually going on, until Frankie showed up with a lady by his sight. Pretty one, a bit older than you and much much thinner, making your insecurity thrive. That's why you ran away like a coward, hiding in the bathroom, curled up into a ball on the ground to cry your eyes out. This is not how you imagined this night. You thought it will be the usual. A bit of friendly flirting with Pope, life-check up with Will, a lot of laughing with Benny and nice conversation with Frankie, before you retire to your stinky dorms. Not this. Maybe you could climb out of the window and run away. No, no, you can't because you left your purse at the table. Or maybe you could pretend you were sick and sneak out? That could work, but you're not really prepared to face Frankie and whoever that lady is. You're screwed. "Y/N! Are you in there?" There's a banging on the door, making your form shake with it and you slowly raise your head, wiping away the tears that got stuck on your cheeks and taking a deep breath before responding to Benny's question. "Yeah, I- I just don't feel really well," you say, trying to keep your voice from shaking. Well, technically this isn't a lie. "Would you open the door for me?" He asks, hint of plea in his voice. "Uhm- just wait a second," you say softly, raising from the ground. You know that if you said no, Benny is able to kick the door open without hesitation. You check yourself in the mirror, getting rid of

any signs you've ever cried, before opening the door, just to find the younger Miller brother leaning against the doorframe, face curved in worry. "What's going on? Are you alright?" He asks, stepping in, letting you close the door behind him. "These are restrooms for women, Benny. You probably shouldn't be here," you murmur, trying to sound like you're teasing him to lighten up the mood and also mainly to avoid answering his questions, but there's no way Benny would let it slip. Not after the anguish he saw in your eyes and the tears that rolled down your cheeks. "Spill it, Y/N. I know something's up," he states, folding his hands on his chest like Frankie does sometimes, the mental mention of him reminding you of the lady by his side and your eyes start stinging again. "I just- didn't feel good," you say softly, trying to sound persuasive. But Benny's way past buying that. "Because of Sylvie?" He asks and you frown softly. "Sylvie?" You raise an eyebrow at him, making him chuckle softly. "Yeah, the lady that Frankie brought with him," he states, making your heart sink. "No," you murmur to respond to his initial question. "Are you sure?" Benny raises an eyebrow at you, leaning his body against the wall, eyes never leaving you, so you have to watch your expression carefully. "Yes. Can I leave now? I really don't feel good, Benny," you say, not really waiting for his approval, reaching for the door to open them, but Benny pushes his arm against it, holding it closed. Your strenght is nothing compared to his, so you know you're trapped. "Let me leave, please," you look up at him. "I saw the way you look at him, Y/N," he states, his gaze softening. Your eyes fill with tears but you refuse to let them fall. Always so stubborn, as Will says. You look down, trying to hide all the emotions your eyes could give away easily. "Why don't you tell him?" Benny asks, leaning against the door. "Because it would be useless. I- I thought he feels the same but apparently he doesn't. I don't need more damage. Would you now let me leave, please?" you say softly, tugging on the door. "It's not like that. Pope set them up. Frankie didn't want it," Benny states. "Does it matter now? He's out there with her on our night, isn't he? And- and he looked happy so-," you clench your jaw, trying to open the damned door but it's useless when Benny's leaned on it. "Get away from the fucking door, Ben. I- I'm not playing," you grumble, the tears slipping over your eyelids and rolling down your cheeks at your struggle. Benny steps away from the door and tries to reach for you to continue with his attempt to comfort you, or whatever that was supposed to be, but you dodge his hand and storm out of the restrooms. You head straight to the table, not looking at anyone, just grasping your purse and murmuring quick I gotta go, before you're out of the door, their shouting of your name rings in your ears even as you walk down the street to your dorms. It's over. It's all over. He left you. He never felt the same. And now you have nothing.

You've spent the rest of the weekend in bed, eating ice cream and watching Bridget Jones, hoping that will heal the aching wound in your chest, but by now you doubt anything ever can. You turned off your notifications on the phone, not letting a single one of the guys know what is actually going on, so Benny remained the only one cursed with knowledge. On Sunday evening you finally get out of the bed and clean up a bit, since your roommate will return tomorrow morning from their visit of their family or whatever and if they saw this mess, they'd probably beat you up, so you play some lazy songs and get into it. Just as you're cleaning up the small bathroom you have, there's a knock on the door. You at first think it wasn't your door, since there's literally no one who could've been knocking at your door at this time, but then it's there again, louder this time, forcing you to turn off the water, wipe your hands and head out to find out who it is. When you open the door, you hesitate the urge to shut them again, your heart squeezing in your chest, making it feel too tight for your liking. "Uhm, hey," you murmur, your eyes meeting the dark brown irises you sometimes dream of. "Hey. I just- can I come in?" He tilts his head towards the inside of your room, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "Y-yeah, sure," you murmur, stepping away from the door and letting Frankie in. You close it behind you, biting on your lower lip. There's not much space in your dorm room, so you gesture to your bed so Frankie has somewhere to sit down, while you pour him a glass of water. "So- what is that you need?" You ask softly when you return from the bathroom, handing him his glass of water and biting on your lower lip. "I- I'm here because of Friday," he states and you wish you could jump out of the window and run. "Okay," you murmur, not really sure where this whole thing is going. Did boys send him here because they are worried and they know you two are close? Or did Benny tell them what he found out? Either way you seem to be fucked. "What happened, Y/N? You left in such hurry and- I saw you were crying," he swallows nervously, his grasp on the glass tightening. Benny told them, eventually. It took a long time, lots of beers and lots of pressure from all of the guys but he told them. And Frankie's here to make it all good. "It's nothing," you murmur, adverting your gaze, your cheeks burning. "I know it's not nothing, Y/N. Please, you have to tell me," he reaches for your hand, squeezing a bit on it until your eyes meet his, welling up in tears. "I just- I- I like you Frankie. Like a lot. And- and I just- when you brought Sylvie I-," you take a shaky breath, your throat getting too tight with the sobs you hold back, making you unable to speak. "Shh, come here," he murmurs, grabbing your other hand too and leading you to sit on his lap. You're so surprised you forget how to breathe for a moment as your hands rest on his shoulders, while he cups your both cheeks with his calloused hands, wiping away your tears. "I like you too, darling. Sylvia is Pope's fault. I- I insisted there's nothing I feel to you and he then dared me to take some girl out to persuade him about it. I didn't want to. All I wanted was you. And I realized it fully when I saw you leaving the bar. I just- I'm sorry," he mumbles, sighing through his prominent nose, that you adore dearly. His words make you smile, warming up the empty cold darkness in your chest, finally bringing you back to your usual self. "I was just afraid I'll lose you," you admit, playing with the little curls on the back of his neck. "Never," he says, raising your chin so your eyes meet his and before you're able to do anything, Frankie's soft lips are on yours. He pulls you closer, hands squeezing on your hips, making your cheeks flush red as you run your fingers into his hair. You fight the grin on your face as you realize what this means. You have Frankie now. And Frankie has you.

-----------------------------------------

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Thank you so much for your support!

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#frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #frankie morales x y/n #triple frontier #fluff fic #angst with a happy ending #friends to lovers #oneshot #best buddy benny #200 followers celebration

[sleepdeprivedsloth]

Jackpot

[MHA - Kaminari, Sero, Bakugou]

summary: Bakugou is in a bitch mood and doesn’t want to socialize with anyone, especially not any of his idiotic classmates. Kaminari and Sero don’t exactly get the hint, and they end up finding a way to cheer up their grumpy friend. (platonic KamiSeroBaku fic)

potential warnings: swearing, tickling

words: 1.8 k

a/n: school has been such a bitch BUT i just finished one of my ap exams so i wanted to indulge myself and all yall nice people out there :) it’s another ticklish baku fic, and i wish i could say i’m sorry but i’m really not lmfao hope you enjoy everyone!

--

It was a known fact amongst the students of Class 1-A that when Bakugou woke up in a bad mood, it was best to steer clear out of his way. Nobody was daring enough to bother the blonde when he seemed to be on the verge of blowing up the entire dorm with nothing more than a thunderous BOOM.

Well, nobody except Kaminari and Sero.

Bakugou was in one of these explosive moods, reading some manga on his bed to help pass the time, when he heard a couple of knocks on his door. “Fuck off,” he grumbled sharply, refusing to bring his eyes away from the illustrated pages. He most certainly was not in the mood to socialize with any idiots today, but the universe had other plans.

“C’mon Bakubro, just let us in!” Kaminari’s voice exclaimed through the locked door.

“Yeah! You know we won’t go away until you open up,” Sero’s voice called out, and Bakugou could practically see the obnoxiously knowing smile that his friends the morons were no doubt wearing.

Failing to repress an eye roll, Bakugou dragged himself out of bed, manga still in hand, and walked over to the door. With a heavy sigh, he begrudgingly opened up and leaned his body against the door frame. “What do you fuckers want?”

Kaminari’s eyes gleamed with suspicious excitement. “Nothing at all! Just wanted to hang out with you, dude.”

Bakugou’s eyes narrowed at the two, knowing that even they weren’t stupid enough to just ‘hang out’ with him when he was dangerously annoyed. “No. Go the fuck away.”

“Bro, you haven’t smiled at all this whole week! Just let us help you chill out for a while. You can’t hate us that much, right?” Sero suggested with a hopeful smile on his face. 

“I can, and I do,” Bakugou deadpanned. “You dumbasses can’t force me to hang out with you. Just leave me the fuck alone.”

At that, Kaminari and Sero exchanged a quick glance at one another before turning their attention back to their grumpy friend. Without a word, Kaminari reached out and poked a finger into Bakugou’s stomach. He let out a muffled yelp as he stumbled backwards a bit further into his room, allowing Kaminari and Sero enough space to enter themselves.

If looks could kill, the two would have been lying dead on the floor the moment they stepped foot into the blonde’s dorm. Bakugou sent them a fierce and fiery glare, steam practically blowing out of his ears. “What the fuck do you damn extras think you’re doing?!”

Kaminari smirked. “Forcing you to hang out with us. Sero, get his arms.”

Before Bakugou could fully comprehend what was happening, Sero tackled him down to the floor, knocking the manga out of his hands and pulling his wrists above his head. Bakugou started kicking his legs around, trying to get enough momentum to break free of Sero’s strong hold, until he felt Kaminari sit himself down on his thighs, successfully pinning him against the floor.

Feeling his palms start to spark threateningly with small explosions, Bakugou’s face fell into an annoyed sneer. Could these dipshits not see that he was clearly not in the mood for their little pranks? “Get the hell off me, you- NGH!”

Kaminari chuckled as he slid his hands underneath Bakugou’s shirt with a slight wiggle of his fingers. He felt his friend’s body tense as he started to slowly trace his fingertips along his sides, his touch practically as light as a feather. “Oh Kacchan, don’t be like that! We just wanna hang out with our favorite blasty boy.”

Bakugou growled, struggling to keep the ends of his lips from turning upwards. “G-get your filthy hands o-offa me, Dunce Face! I s-swear to go-OHOD NO!”

A reluctant smile broke out onto Bakugou’s face when Sero taped his wrists to the floor and started to softly drum his fingers into the exposed armpits, forcing the blonde into a bout of giggles. “There’s that adorable little smile that we’ve been looking for!” Sero teased.

“L-lehet me uhup, Tahape Fahace!” Bakugou tried to threaten through his wobbly grin. “I d-dohon’t want to hang out wihith you idiohohots!”

Kaminari moves his hands to lightly scribble at Bakugou’s taut stomach, causing him to break out into an uncontrollable fit of higher pitched giggles. “But we love hanging out with you, Blasty! Think of all the fun we could have together!”

“Yeah, Bakubro!” Sero joined in, wiggling his fingers underneath Bakugou’s arms, occasionally moving his tickly touches down to the blonde’s upper ribs. “We could have a movie night, just the three of us. What do you guys think of Big Hero 6?”

“Ah yeah, I love that movie! What about you, Bakugou?” Kaminari asked in a much too casual manner.

“I hahahate you bohohoth sohoho much!!”

Kaminari grinned, briefly slowing his fingers’ movements. “But you’re still having fun, right?” At this, Bakugou’s breath hitched and his eyes widened, looking over at the electric blonde in a mixture of confusion and shock, his cheeks reddening a bit. “Yeah, sorry to break it to you, bro, but it’s kinda obvious you don’t want us to stop tickling you.”

Seeing a hint of distress and discomfort in his friend’s eyes, Sero quickly cut it. “Honestly, we’d be lying if we said we wanted to stop! Making you all smiley and giggly feels like a privilege!”

With far too much enthusiasm, Kaminari nodded his head in agreement before a teasing smirk made its way onto his face. “If anything, I bet you want us to kick it up a notch, dontcha Blasty?~”

“N-no I don-ohohon’t!” Bakugou shouted out as he felt Kaminari insert a singular finger into his belly button.

“Y’know, I’ve always wanted to try this out. Lemme know how it feels, okay?” he asked before sending a small shock of electricity through his finger, using just enough energy to get the ticklish blonde screaming.

“NAHAHAHA! WHAHAHAHAT THE FUHUHUHUCK?!” Bakugou howled with laughter, immediately overwhelmed by the sensations of the shock tickling him both inside and out. He began twisting and squirming to get Kaminari’s finger out of the sensitive spot, only to find that his desperate thrashing only managed to push Kaminari’s finger further into his belly button and increase the shock’s tickly effects. “GEHEHET IT THE FUHUCK OHOHOHOUT!!”

“Jackpot!” Kaminari shouted out as he slightly wiggled his finger, never stopping the small, steady stream of electricity that passed through it. The explosive blonde’s head was thrown back from the force of his hysterics. “Aww, does it tickle that much?”

“No fair!” Sero exclaimed with playful offense. “You can’t just steal all of Bakubro’s laughter all by yourself. You gotta share, Denks!” Sero brought his own hands up to Bakugou’s pinned wrists and started to gently drag his fingertips down teasingly towards his underarms at an agonizingly slow pace. He didn’t get much of a reaction until he passed the boy’s elbows, when Bakugou began shaking his head and tugging harder on his arms. “Ohoho, what’s this? You keeping another weak spot from us, dude?”

“DOHOHON’T YOU DAHAHARE GO ANY FUHUHURTHER, TAHAPE FAHACE!! I SWEAHAHAR I’LL KIHIHILL YOHOHOU!!” Bakugou’s threats fell on deaf ears as he felt Sero’s fingers traveling closer and closer to his underarms. He really did try to refrain himself when the dark-haired boy’s soft fluttering reached the underside of his triceps, just above his armpits, but he instantly lost control. Bakugou snorted before practically screaming with pure laughter, the most genuine smile his two friends had ever seen inevitably spreading across his typically scowling face.

“Yes, ultimate jackpot!! Take that, Kaminari!” Sero shouted proudly over Bakugou’s loud shrieks. The two boys then increased their efforts, starting to tickle harder and faster, each trying to pull the most hysterical noises from the boy trapped beneath them.

Their playful competition left lucky poor Bakugou in stitches until he finally pleaded out for mercy, tears of mirth prickling the edges of his closed-shut eyes. “ALRIGHT AHAHALRIGHT!! I’LL HAHAHANG OUT WITH YOHOHOHOU IDIOHOHOTS!! JUHUHUST STOP STOHOHOP STAHAHAHAHAHA-!”

The two immediately stopped and pulled their torturous hands away from the giggly blonde’s body. Kaminari climbed off of Bakugou’s thighs while Sero got to work removing the tape at his wrists.

As he worked, Sero looked down at Bakugou with a smug smirk. “Was wondering how long it was gonna take you to tell us to stop, Bakubro!”

“Yeah, seriously dude,” Kaminari joined in, helping the boy sit up once his wrists were free. “You’ve got some hella strong endurance!”

Bakugou wrapped his arms around his torso, rubbing the phantom tickles away as stray titters found their way out of his carefree smile. “Oho shuhut up,” he grumbled in half-hearted annoyance.

“Dude, look at that smile! You should definitely wear it more often, man,” Sero genuinely complimented, earning a deeper blush on Bakugou’s face. “It really is a good look on you!”

“I’m honestly glad that we were able to get you out of your little Bakubitch mood! Who knew that a little bit of tickling is the secret to ending your raging rampage?” Kaminari slung an arm over Bakugou’s shoulders, giving a quick squeeze.

“Whatever, fucking extras,” Bakugou said as he rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of fondness in his smile. If Kaminari noticed how he leaned a bit into the comforting touch, the electric blonde thankfully didn’t mention it.

“Hear ye, hear ye!” Sero called out, catching the intrigued attention of the other two boys. “On this day, I hereby decree that Sir Bakugou Katsuki must give me, Sero Hanta, and my fellow companion, Kaminari Denki, at least one of his genuine smiles everyday for the rest of our lives!”

“I second that! And if you fail to do so, we’ll find a way to make you smile,” Kaminari playfully threatened, sliding his arm hanging off of Bakugou’s shoulder down to the boy’s side. He gave gentle pinches to the sensitive skin, causing Bakugou to lean away and break out in a new round of giggles. “Understood?”

“Understood, understoohohod!! Nohoho more, Duhuhunce Fahace!”

“Good!” Kaminari retracted his arm from its place around Bakugou’s torso. He and Sero stood up from their seats on the floor.

Sero picked up Bakugou’s manga that had been clumsily disregarded, handing the book over to its owner. “Well, we’ll get out of your hair now, bro. See you later?”

Bakugou stared down at the book in his hands for a short moment, contemplating, before he looked back up hopefully towards the morons his friends. “Are you idiots still up for watching Big Hero 6?

Kaminari and Sero’s faces practically beamed with excitement. “Hell yeah, Bakubro! Lemme go get us some snacks real quick!” Sero exclaimed before rushing out of the room.

“We can watch it on my laptop! I’ll be right back, dude!” Kaminari called out as he quickly ran out after Sero.

Bakugou heard a faint, “This is gonna be so much fun!!” shouted from somewhere down the hallway, and he couldn’t help the soft smile that grew across his lips as he internally agreed.

--

a/n: yay!! i hope yall at least somewhat enjoyed reading this! just wanna say good luck to all of my fellow students, you’ve got this <3 school sucks but it’s almost over! i believe in all of youuuu :D

#bnha #bnha tickle #mha #mha tickle #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #kaminari #denki kaminari #sero #hanta sero #ler!kaminari #ler!sero #lee!bakugou #ticklish!bakugou #bakusquad #kamiserobaku #platonic #tickling #tickle fic

[thechangeling]

She burns like rum on a fire

Why did I do this to myself ughhhhh?

So @adoravel-fenomeno and I were talking about Kit potentially getting into an abusive relationship given that he's statistically likely too given his roots. So now I give you this fic! Sorry. Kit is using he/him in this fic because he hasn't really gone on his gender quest yet.

The title is from Cherry Wine by Hozier. I reccomend you listen to Cherry Wine and Trauma by NF while reading this.

Cw: Mentions of physical and verbal abuse, abusive, controlling behavior, negative self talk and extreme denial. Also brief mention of blood.

2013

Don't cry.

Don't cry Kit told himself over and over inside his head as he tried to get a hold of his breathing. As he lay on his bed at 2 in the morning, desperately refreshing his conversation with Autumn.

Autumn or as his best friend Janessa liked to call her "the virus" was Kit's girlfriend. His very first. A mundane with the sight. They had been dating for a few months now. When they had first gotten together everything was amazing, it so it seemed.

They had some much in common and they had fun together. Autumn was hot, funny and charasmatic. She had this way of making him feel like the only person in the room. She showered him with gifts and complements that made Kit finally feel worthy for the first time in his life.

But as time went on things shifted. Autumn insisted on spending almost ever waking second with him. Kit didn't mind at first, he loved hanging out with her. But he missed his parents and his sister, and he knew they missed him too. Whenever they had family movie night, or they wanted Kit to watch Mina, Autumn threw a fit. She insisted that he was ignoring her.

She didn't want him seeing Janessa either, or Nessie as Kit called her for short. Autumn always insisted that she was plotting to steal Kit away from her, which was ridiculous but nothing could change Autumn's mind when she was in a mood. So Kit had found himself blowing Nessie off to hang out with Autumn and making excuses for it.

Kit always felt super guilty for making Autumn so upset. He tried to get out of his agreements if it to stop her from crying but sometimes Tessa and Jem wouldn't let him. It was frustrating when they didn't understand. She would rage for awhile, calling Kit stupid and worthless. Sometimes she would make comments about him being adopted, telling him that Tessa and Jem didn't really love him and they only saw him as a free babysitter for their real child.

She would make jokes about all kinds of things. How Kit wasn't a real shadowhunter, his weight, his past, his bisexuality, his ADHD. Kit knew that Autimn didn't really mean anything by it. It was nothing personal and she didn't really mean it. She loved him. And he loved her.

Tonight had been different though. His grades had taken a turn for the worst because he had been blowing of the tutoring sessions the school had payed for as a part of his accommodations. Because he had been spending that time with Autumn. Kit knew it was a bad idea to miss those, but his girlfriend needed him. She didn't have anybody else. She couldn't count on her parents like he could, and she didn't really have any friends.

But Kit was in big trouble. Tessa and Jem were mad. The school was mad. People were saying that Kit was ungrateful.

Ah yes because every disabled person should just bend down and kiss the feet of every person that deigns to give them what they're legally entitled to.

But Kit knew that he had really screwed up this time. He tried to explain to Autumn that he couldn't see her as often as he used to anymore because he needed to fix his grades. And she absolutely lost it. Which he had been expecting.

However what Kit hadn't been expecting this time was for her to hit him.

And she hit him hard. Punched him straight in the nose. And sure it wasn't that big of a deal. Kit was a shadowhunter and he was pretty much used to being hit. But he hadn't been expecting it.

And there was just so much blood.

Autumn of course instantly apologized profusely. She kissed him over and over and told him that she loved him and she didn't mean to. And Kit knew she was telling the truth but-

But he still felt a sinking feeling in his chest that he couldn't explain.

But Kit had applied an iratze, wiped off the blood, and now everything was as good as new. When he had arrived back home, his parents had noticed anything or asked him any questions.

Now he was lying awake at 2 in the morning, filled with guilt and worry as he waited for Autumn to text him back. He gnawed on his bottom lip anxiously as he tried not to over think things.

Maybe she was still mad at him? Was there something else Kit was supposed to say or do? Or maybe he should just leave her alone for awhile?

It was maddening.

Kit turned off his phone and threw it down in frustration, pulling his giant red and black flannel over his shoulders and curling in on himself. He felt strangely exhausted, but unable to sleep. His nose and left eye socket still throbbed a little despite the fact that they should be healed.

Kit thought about using another iratze but his steele was across the room and he couldn't bring himself to stand up to go get it.

God he really was pathetic. Maybe he deserved this. Tears welled up in Kit's eyes.

Don't cry. Don't cry.

This time Kit couldn't hold it back. So he let himself cry. Tears came streaming down his cheeks as he tried to muffle his sobs with his hand. Deep down he knew it was his fault. It was always his fault.

But with Autumn he had really tried. Sure he wasn't perfect but Kit really cared about her. And it wasn't good enough. He wasn't good enough.

Kit couldn't help but think of the last time he felt like this. The last time he was rejected. He had been careful about trying to keep all thoughts of Ty Blackthorn out of his head for awhile. Autumn was a good distraction, even when she was screaming obscenities at him. It was still a distraction.

Kit closed his eyes and conjured the memory of holding Ty up on the roof. If he squeezed his eyes tightly enough, Kit could still feel the softness of his hoodie and the slight tickle of Ty's dark hair against his skin. He could conjure the smell of Ty's skin and the way he had trembled slightly against Kit's body.

I should have kissed him. Kit mused, hugging himself tightly. Just once. Even if Ty had pushed him away in disgust, it would have been worth it. Just to know what it felt like.

Suddenly from the bottom of the bed, Kit's phone lit up with a call. He scrambled to grab it, thinking it was Autumn, but it was actually Janessa. Kit cleared his throat, trying to make his voice sound normal as he answered the phone.

"Why are you calling me at 2 am Nessie?"

"The better question is why are you still awake at 2 am," she pointed out, sounding smug. "I'm a vampire. Creature of the night remember? It's kinda prime time for me Kit Kat."

Kit smiled as he felt the previous angst wash away. "Yeah fair enough. But still, why are you calling me?"

Kit heard her sigh into the phone. "Well honestly because this is probably the only time you're free now a days," she said spitefully. "You know thanks to she-who-must-not-be-named." Kit rolled his eyes.

"That's my girlfriend you're talking about, Janessa!" He snapped.

"Well your girlfriend's a total bitch!"

Normally Kit would argue with her and tell her that she was way off base. That Autumn wasn't so bad and that she was trying. That she loved him. But today he just couldn't.

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "We got into another fight tonight," he admitted. "Just a few hours ago actually."

"I'm sorry love," Janessa murmed. Nessie wasn't British. She was actually Canadian. But she had moved around the world with her previous band before settling in Devon and leaving them to go solo. She had picked up on some British expressions though.

"I wish you weren't going through this. But Kit, you gotta break up with her! She's bad news!"

Kit rested his face against the palm of his left hand. "I can't," he groaned.

Janessa let out a frustrated yell on the other end of the phone. "What the hell are you planning on doing Kit!? I mean are you just gonna wait into she hits you or what?" She spat.

"She already did," Kit responded instantly without missing a beat.

He gasped and slapped a hand to cover his mouth. Kit had no idea why he actually told her. Impulsivity maybe? Or maybe he just needed to get it out. But he instantly regretted it.

There was a long uncomfortable silence on the other end of the phone. Kit was just about to ask Janessa where she went when suddenly she spoke.

"I'm coming over."

Kit tried to protest but she hung up on him.

Before he had time to panic or scream or throw something, there was an aggressive tapping on his window. Of course. Janessa had vampire speed. He looked up to see Nessie perched on his windowsill looking solem.

Her long black curly hair was pulled into a high ponytail and she wore what by her standards was probably a casual outfit. A black long sleeved low cut crop top and white ripped skinny jeans tucked into thigh high heeled leather boots. And of course, she wore a full face of makeup. Even after the facial feminization surgery she was still a little insecure about going out without makeup on.

Nessie banged on his window again, more impatiently and Kit jumped up to let her in. She landed on his bedroom floor with the grace of a cat, making no sound. She stared at him silently with an expression that Kit found hard to decipher.

"Show me where," she whispered in that deep raspy voice of hers. She reached for his face and Kit let Janessa cradle his face with her hands and tried not to wince as her cold skin came into contact with his.

He shook his head. "No you won't see it, I put an iratze on it already. It's done." Janessa scoffed and stepped back.

"You know the damage isn't just skin deep Kit," she said pointedly. "No matter how much you want to pretend it is."

He glared at her. "Wow that's so insightful Nessie!," he said sarcastically. "What else you got?"

"Oh come on Kit you know I'm right," She hissed. "You have to end it!"

Kit shook his head. Why does she keep saying that?

"No. Why should I?" Kit retorted. "She loves me." He tried to sound as confident as he could, but truthfully he wasn't so sure anymore.

Autumn had gone above and beyond to make Kit feel loved and appreciated yo the point where she was almost obsessive. But she could also be cruel and spiteful. Kit had convinced himself that he should be happy with what he had because it was as good as he was gonna get.

And the sad part was that was still true.

"No she doesn't," Janessa breathed desperately. To Kit's horror, it looked like she was about to cry. Kit couldn't remember if he had ever seen her cry. Not once.

"Somebody who really loved you could never hurt you like that!" She protested shakily, her voice warbled as tears spilled down her face.

Kit could feel his tears returning at the sight of Nessie crying. He rushed towards her and pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her neck. In the comfort of his best friend's embeace he allowed himself to finally sob. He cried for that broken niave part of himself that kept getting hurt.

She rested her chin on the top of his head, (she was taller then him,) and held him close. "Please promise me you will break up with her," Janessa begged.

"I just don't get it," Kit whispered against her skin. "I did everything right. I did everything I could." He blinked back tears. "Why doesn't she love me Nessie?"

He felt her shake against him. "I don't know Kit," she sobbed. "But I love you ok? I love you and your parents love you, and Mina loves you so much!"

Kit sighed, pulling back to wipe his tears. "I know, but what if I, you know-. What if I never find someone? Like romantically?"

Janessa studied him, raising her eyebrow. "Well do you need to find someone? Who is this arbitrary someone who can give you something a friendship can't?"

That's actually a good point.

"I mean," Nessie continued, crossing her arms and shifting her weight. "If you do end up in a relationship then cool, it's whatever. But the way I see it is you shouldn't focus all of your energy on looking because you're gonna end up missing out on some pretty cool stuff in the mean time." She smiled.

Kit thought about it. He knew logically Janessa had a point. But he just couldn't feel it. He was too depressed and defeated. And as ashamed as it made him, Kit still missed Autumn. He tried to smile along with Nessie but it must have looked weak because she looked concerned.

"Hey," she cooed, reaching for him.

"Can you sing to me Nessie?" He asked. Kit  felt a little pathetic but hopefully she wouldn't judge him.

She smiled lovingly at him. "Sure." Janessa took his hand and led him to his bed.

"Any requests?" She asked as she pulled off her boots and lay down on Kit's bed. He followed her, snuggling up against Nessie with his back to her.

"No not really," he murmered, closing his eyes. Kit was finally starting to feel how exhausted he really was.

Janessa wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close, resting her head slightly against his shoulder. "Ok," she whispered very softly.

Kit heard her clear her throat softly before the sound of her breathy angelic alto filled his ears.

"I'm turning out the lights, to remember how to see. Till the renaissance takes place, Until a renaissance takes place, and resuscitates the color of paint and divinity."

Kit smiled sleepily at the sound of his enneagram song, something Janessa had introduced him to.

He yawned and let the sound of Nessie's voice lull him to sleep, putting all thoughts of Autumn behind him.

In my head Kit is like 5'4 and Janessa is 5'9. Originally I had her at 5'11 but I wanted her to be closer in height to Kit. Also did I name Kit's abusive girlfriend Autumn after my toxic controlling ex best friend? You bet I did!

Tag list: (you know the deal) @playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies   @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @foxglove-airmid @littlx-songbxrd @clarys-heosphoros @queenlilith43 @arangiajoan @hardlymatters @the-wckd-powers @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @adoravel-fenomeno

#tsc #tda #twp #the dark artifices #kit herondale #fae's oc #the wicked powers #janessa williams #platonic soulmates for the win

[spilledkauffie]

Talk To Me

Repost from an old account I deleted!!!

Pairing: Logan Howlett (Wolverine) x reader Word Count: 1.6k+ T/W: trauma mentions / sexual innuendo A/N: honestly, my favourite Jackman role!

Slowly bringing your knees to your chest, the sheets made a gentle rustling sound at your action. The dark wooden walls of the room reminded you of a cozy cabin. Dimly lit with a vintage lamp on night stands placed at either side of the bed, another source casted a stream of light throughout the small quarters. You watched from the bed, as your lover finished washing his face, blotting the towel across his skin.

For a moment, you furrowed your eyebrows, seeing him stare at the mirror, hands pressing firmly against the counter. It wasn’t a blank stare, but more of a self-reflective stare. Wishing you could read his thoughts, just to understand why he did what he did, you knew that was nowhere near your power. Only able to feel emotions, not even see memories, when you touched someone it always seemed useless to you, but he often loved it, rarely having to actually tell you when he was in the mood. Or any mood for that matter.

“Logan,” you called sweetly, watching him almost shake out of the stare to look your direction, “you coming to bed?”

“Yeah...yeah,” he nodded, shifting his gaze downward, flicking the bathroom light off.

Giving him a half smile, still truly concerned that something was wrong, you shifted under the covers. Clicking your night stand’s light off, you turned over just in time to see him remove his shirt. Happy with the sight, as you loved to feel his skin, your demeanour became mildly impatient for him. Noticing you eyeing over his body, he smirked, amused.

“That’s all it takes?” Logan raised an eyebrow, with a signature cocky head tilt.

“Stop,” you blushed gingerly, hearing him chuckle at your embarrassment.

Finally joining you beneath the sheets, he turned the last official light out. The moon gave a silvery atmosphere, not too bright, but not too dark either.

Snuggling close to your wolverine, he gladly accepted your contact. Bringing your leg over his hip, he kept a protective hold to the back of your thigh. And his free hand explored the beautiful curve of your spine, his coarse fingertips being as gentle as possible. Pressed practically chest to chest, you smiled. Stroking a thumb across his cheekbone, a soft sigh escaped you.

“What?” Logan asked, sensing something was up.

“I wish you’d talk to me,” you admitted, fluffing back a tuft of his stubborn hair.

“I am talking to you,” he smart-aleckly answered, smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth, when you frowned, unamused.

“I mean really talk to me,” you emphasised the middle of your sentence, “about why you stare at your reflection, or why you’re so protective, you know- maybe- even about...your feelings.”

With a deep chuckle, Logan rubbed the back of your thigh methodically, almost as a comfort to avoid your question. Feeling a mixture of emotions run through his body, you always had the hardest time with him. Perhaps it was all the adamantium that blocked the signals, or maybe he was just good at covering up his actual feelings. Either way, it made it difficult; you stroked softly along his neck in a desperate attempt to try and gain more emotions.

“Oh, you’re serious?” He asked, observing your facial expression.

“Yes, I am,” you nodded.

Pausing for a moment, he thought things over, “alright,” he looked away, as if debating his next words carefully, “whatdya want to know?”

Shocked he was letting you in, even just a little bit, you took it. Shifting back to think of the first question, you had so many after all.

“Okay…,what do you think about when you stare at the mirror?” You looked over his expression, wanting to avoid any aggression.

“Wow, gotta start with the tough ones?” Logan laughed, before another pause, “I can still see the monster created. I’m made of metal and sometimes I think that’s all I am, just...cold. But you’re making it pretty hot.”

“Logan,” you whispered, both trying to keep him on track and actually picking up a strong sense of his emotion.

“Right, sorry,” he regrettably apologised, hoping his comment would’ve deterred the conversation, “can’t you feel and see all this without me talking about it?”

“I can’t see the memories attached to the emotions,” you said, “I wish I could...especially with you.“

You placed your hands against his bare chest, lovingly, Logan perked an eyebrow questionably, not opposed, but very curious. You closed your eyes and focussed hard on his emotions.

“Tell me more?” You asked.

As he began to speak, you tried only thinking on the emotion. As he began describing his pain you felt it in full force.

“A room full of people, military people. No faces, only figures,” he said, “water, lots of needles, filled with metal.”

The further he dove into his painful memories, the more you began to feel it. Your heart raced, eyes filled with tears and soon the emotion of pain took over, spreading through your body. Gasping, you took your hands away, curling into yourself as much as possible. It was a pain you had never felt before. Almost- as if death was near. It felt never ending.

“Hey, hey,” Logan’s voice was comforting, “you’re alright, I got you.”

On the verge of panic, you clung onto him. His emotion had already changed back to protective which helped ease you. Though you couldn’t understand how he could switch between emotions in a heartbeat, you still appreciated his comforting presence. Looking down, you felt his strong arms holding you and spotted the dog tags hanging around his neck. Tears slipping passed your eyelashes, you met his eyes. Fingertips shakily holding on to the metal that hung from his neck with his mutant name stamped into them.

“What did they do to you?” You spoke, voice hoarse.

Looking you over now, he could see how scared you were, “I’m not sure.”

Nodding your head, you knew he was still trying to figure out everything he had been through and now, now you knew only the slightest bit of pain he felt. Overwhelming for you, yet he managed ever single day with it.

“Let’s get some sleep, yeah?” He suggested, bringing you closer.

“Yeah,” you whispered, sliding your hands around his frame.

More odd than usual the night was hard for you. Normally you slept perfectly fine knowing you were wrapped in the arms of a lover and an indestructible protector, but the experience of such high pain threw you off entirely. It stuck with you, keeping you up, but it also broke your heart to know how much he hurt...

Checking the clock to your left, it was early morning, still dark out and the school was quiet. There was no point in staying in bed, so you managed to escape his hold, slip on his button up shirt and head down to the kitchen. Finding some tea, you put on the hot water and waited. Seated at the island in the center of the room, you placed your head in your hands and replayed the emotion. So much pain and torture, how did he-

“Hey,” a familiar voice startled you, making you turn in your seat.

“Logan,” you said relieved, “why’re you up?”

“Cause you’re up,” he countered, stepping closer.

“I’m sorry,” you swallowed, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Looking downward, you wanted to avoid eye contact, knowing full well that he was bound to ask what was keeping you up. It wasn’t typical of you to leave him, especially at night. You really didn’t want to talk about what had happened earlier.

“I don’t think I need to ask, do I?”

His serious tone brought your attention to him. Debating whether or not to tell him was difficult. Imagining he’d feel like it was his fault for ‘giving’ you his emotions, when really you asked and he was simply answering you honestly. He always felt like he hurt those around him even more than he’d been hurt. Ignoring his pain and realising others was a trait of his.

“I- it’s just,” you started, looking away when you felt tears again, your emotions heightened, “you’re going through so much agony, how-”

Another pause came to you as you choked back tears. Quick to come to your aid, he stepped between your knees, placing a hand to your cheek and wiping away a falling tear. Brining your hands to hold his wrist, you felt his heartbeat.

“Gone through,” he corrected you, “Sure, I’ve gone through a lot of shit, but I’m here now and I’d say pretty happy compared to the past.”

“You made me feel emotions I have never felt before,” you admitted, looking up.

“And you’ve made me feel emotions I’ve never felt before,” he smirked, watching a smile pull at your lips.

Dipping down, his hand slipped to the side of your neck and his hips hit yours. With lips inches away from yours, you pulled back slightly.

“Logan, here?” You asked.

“C’mon, a kiss won’t hurt,” he whispered, “it’ll help, I promise.”

Smiling, you actually agreed, any other emotion running through your body would be nice and you were glad to accept what he was offering. Curling your fingers through the belt loops on his jeans you pulled him closer, letting him know you approved. Happily continuing, his lips met yours and it wasn’t long before you were melting underneath his touch, at just the slightest action. Wrapping your arms around his neck, the kiss became deeper. You felt several of his emotions, this time enjoying every one. If there was something you certainly loved most, it was his passion.

Pulling back from you, Logan could tell you were now wanting more, “you want to know why I’m so protective?”

“Why?” You bit your lip, batting your eyelashes.

Squeaking when he lifted you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist, feeling him squeeze your ass, you smiled at the next words his raspy voice spoke to further distract you.

“It’s just instinct.”

#spilledkauffie #logan howlett #logan howlett x reader #logan howlett x you #logan howlett x y/n #logan howlett fanfiction #logan howlett fanfic #logan howlett fic #logan howlett fluff #wolverine #wolverine x reader #wolverine x you #wolverine x y/n #wolverine fluff #wolverine fanfic #wolverine fanfiction #xmen #xmen x reader #x-men imagine #x-men #marvel #marvel fic #marvel fanfiction

[urlocalnctstan]

𝚃𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚜

Genre : Angst, Fluff, Slow-burnish, Idol AU

Pairing : Jaehyun x Reader ft.Mark (other members too)

Warning(s) : strong language, age-gap, mature contents, weird writing style lmao, uh what else? idk but yeah

Disclaimer :The story is completely fictitious, idol-fan relationships are not common so some of you crazy ones out here, pls don’t get too delusional, your oppas will be your oppas only virtually, not in real life.

Playlist : Youtube Link / Written

Word Count : 5.4k

Summary : ‘Time and tide waits for none’- a quote that is universally accepted and believed. You both had had your experience of meeting the right one at the wrong time, the concept of love long forgotten after the sudden downfall of your relationship together. But will time eventually heal everything for you both?

The car came to a halt, your mind subconsciously drifting back to the humiliation you faced tonight back at the office.

“ARE YOU FUCKING DUMB, Y/N?” your boss was a fuming mess, his whole office scattered with the documents you had brought just a few moments ago. At the sight of the shredded papers, you felt you heart clench. You worked so hard for this project, disregarding God knows how many nights of your sleep. The feeling of abomination was slowly creeping up from the pit of your stomach towards the man who stood taut, seething in rage.

“HOW MANY TIMES DID I TELL YOU TO JUST DO WHAT THEY ASKED YOU TO?” He yelled, his fist furiously banging on his wooden desk, beneath his hand rested some pieces of the torn documents.

“Sir, even you know how risky it is to design as they asked to. If a blunder happens it is our company that is to be held accountable, not theirs.” you knew it was pointless to reason with the stubborn headed prick, but you had to try out your luck.

“Get out. Out, out, out. Get your fucking face out of my face.” He swished his index finger repeatedly, letting out a frustrated shriek just as I was about to exit his office. His wrath was nothing new in the office, as all the other employees shot me a rather pitying look when they saw me exiting the team leader’s office with hands full of ripped papers. Wow, my 2 weeks worth of sleep. Just wow. You didn’t bother to reciprocate their sympathetic glances, storming out of the corridor as you furiously started clicking the floor to your cabin. The jabbing of your finger on the glowing button that read ‘13’ was the only sound that resonated in the fairly empty area, earning annoyed looks from the two individuals who stood right behind you.

“Ah, fuck.” You banged your head against the steering, recalling the even as you clutched the handles harshly. “Why,” another bang. “do I,” bang. “live like” bang. “this,” bang. You could feel your face was burning without even touching it, streams of tears flowing down. Just as you were about to give yourself another bang, the sudden honk of a car made you pause amidst your ritual. Indeed all motherfuckers love to test my patience. You decide to ignore the rider, mainly because you were also partially at fault for resting in your car in the middle of the park. You twisted the metal keys as the ignition went off, signaling your car was ready to flee. Yet again, you were distracted by soft knocks. You prayed to God to help you not lose your shit, at this point you were questioning if He ever hears your woes at all. The soft knocks stop immediately when you started to pull down the window, the person straightening only crouch again.

“Y/n?” his called out unsurely, as if he were afraid of mistaking you for someone else. You knew that voice, and that is not good news. Shit.

“Mark?” you were surprised to say the least, not expecting to run into an old friend. “Oh my god! How have you been?” You shoot out of your driver’s seat, instantly being engulfed into a bone crushing hug by the male.

“I have been good. Oh god, I can’t believe this! I can’t believe I ran into you after so long!” Mark still held you tight your embrace, the sudden reunion making him feel giddy with excitement.

“Yes indeed,” you were the first to pull out from the hug. You took a moment to study him; black mask covering half of his face as he smiled widely, eyes crinkled and the signature cheekbones still the same as they were in the past. God, it’s really been so long. “What are you up to these days?”

“Er,” Mark scratched his head as he laughed nervously, unsure if he was allowed to give you spoilers about his new album. “I have been working on my solo album actually.” 

“Are you for real?” You found yourself hugging Mark again at the joy of his successful career. “I’m so so proud of you mate!”

“Thank you, thank you,” Mark swayed you lightly, his voice muffled due to the mask he wore. Mark was the one to pull out now, still keeping your caged as he placed his hands on your shoulders. “In no way I am gonna let you leave without a trace again,” he almost groaned.

“Promise, I won’t anymore,” you signaled to the stack of files that rested on the backseat of your car. “They won’t leave me alone.”

“I’ll just ask your boss to assign you with more tasks then,” he giggled mischievously, earning a light smack from you at the mention of such an absurd idea.

“I’ll track your way to hell to kill you again if you do something like that,” you hissed at Mark, who was still giggling at your frustrated reaction. The atmosphere became quiet as Mark looked up in the vacant sky, deep in thoughts while you waited for him to continue. Your phone buzzed against your leather coat.

[From Bullhead] : Don’t think I am overlooking your mess. This is the first and final warning from me.

You shivered, half from the cold and half from the text you just received.

“26th, sharp at 8 PM, my place.” He snapped his fingers, hooting at the realization of having a free day in his busy scheduled life.

“Okay, done.” You should have refused, you thought. But for some reason, you found yourself agreeing to his offer, you felt both sad and guilty for disappearing out of your friend’s life without a trace. However, you couldn’t ignore the greedy feeling you felt, the want to see him again. “I think I should be done around...7:30? So I think I’ll be able to make it.” You unlocked and handed him your phone.

“You have to make it,” his eyes focused on the screen of your device, swiftly typing what you assumed was him number. “Just incase, text me if I happen to forget - no I know that look, Y/n, you must text if that happens..” He rolled his eyes, knowing that how much you would be overthinking about possibly tiring him because of his busy lifestyle. Mark dialed his number from your phone before handing it back to you. You visibly snickered at the name he saved his contact with : ‘My Boo MarkLee <3’ 

“Stop pretending as if you never renamed my existence as Markie Boo,” he groans, remembering how this has been his another one of the hundred pet names he had. Your conversation was cut mid way as his phone loudly vibrated in his phone, swiftly pulling it out as the guy whined in annoyance.

“Yo, I gotta go now I guess, something came up at the company.” He looked sad, pouty. “See you around, yeah?” You were pulled into another hug by the male, he surely loved to hug as usual.

“Yes, yes. Now go. Don’t be late.” You patted his back, pulling out of the hug and shooing him away towards his car.

“See ya, Mom.” He beamed as he sped off with his car. 

“Dumbass.” You muttered, softly laughing at the name he would always call you by, despite being years younger than him. You rounded around your car, getting inside. The start was bad but the end was good nonetheless. The keys of your car jiggled as you closed the door. Again, you twisted the keys, your mood slightly better than before for which you were grateful. Your car’s ignition blared, as you positioned towards the exit of the park, subtly muttering ‘long ass ride.’

The digits ‘7:37’ glowed on the the small digital clock beside your desktop. You felt stiff, stretching your neck as your bones made those cracking noes. You stare at your toes, zoning out was your passion and you excelled at it. You snapped straight, letting out a deep sigh as you started to scheme the projects before you were to hand them over to your bullhead boss. Soon enough, you were done, muttering almost too loudly for everyone that you wished your boss would be napping off instead of being awake.

Good for you, your prayers were answered for the first time in a while. You quietly placed the files that contained all the details that needed to be checked again by your boss, quietly making your way out of his cabin as soon as possible. On you way, you informed his secretary you were leaving, her face wore distraught and annoyance but softens as she saw you approaching. Sometimes you felt sympathetic towards her, often asking the heavens to bless her with utmost patience and perseverance to deal with the bullhead.

The marble floor clicked with every step you took, the sounds eerily audible in the serene lobby. It was very rare for the lobby to be filled with people in evening, the employees would practically sprint off their seats as soon as the clock hits 7. You made your way out of the building, making a mental note to buy a gift for Mark on your way back to home. What would he like? Take outs? Homemade? Wine? You drove across the street before halting your car in front of the department store that was situated just a few blocks away from your office. The header of the store glowed, the alleys seemingly half-crowded with people of different occupations you assumed. You let out a hiss as you felt a chill run down your spine, it was almost the end of Autumn which meant Winter was just round the corner. You decided to rely on your instincts, deciding to gift your friend a fancy bottle of wine despite having zero knowledge about it.

You were never quite the fan of wine. According to you, the seemingly alcoholic drink was too expensive, plus the etiquettes that came along for its consumption would always just make your turn your head away every time you laid your eyes across one. You schemed through the white shelves filled with different tastes and colors of wine, each hailing from various corners of the world. “How do I even spell it?” You crouched down a bit to a bottle that had caught your attention, the exquisite name was starting to make your head hurt. It’s probably a white wine you thought, the transparent color of the liquid was what made you convince. But something rather nostalgic caught your sight, before you could even realize, you found your fingertips caressing the cold glass bottle of the red liquid that you held now.

“If were to be a drink, then what would I be?” You lazily laid sprawled across the couch in the living, while you boyfriend who sat on the marble floor across fumbles with the knotted bunch of cables. Jaehyun had his gaze focus of the wire maze in his hands, eyebrows furrowed and lips pouted in immense concentration.

“Peach milk,” he smiled, unbeknownst to you he was actually implying a double meaning for his answer.

“And why that?” You felt his choice a bit amusing, not really expecting that as an answer.

“Because I love your ass and boobs,” he winked, only to be hit by a pillow that was resting beneath your curled legs. Jaehyun felt himself giggling by your reaction, it was cute to see you being annoyed. “Babe, c’mon. I can’t lie about it.” 

“Never mind, just forget it.” You started to get a bit pissed, hurt as well because your sensitive ass thought he would probably say something sweet that would make you heart flutter. 

“Peach milk is my favorite, that’s the main reason why,” Jaehyun shifted his focus back to the cables, the last two knots were too adamant to let go of each other. You felt yourself smiling, too wide, he definitely knew you well. Cheeky bastard.

“What about me?” he asked, eyes still focused as he working on untying the last knot.

“Hmmm...” you shifted your position on the couch, now sitting up as you stared your boyfriend’s figure for a short while.

“Red wine.” sophisticated, classy, unique, warm. If you were to describe the aura around him, these would be the first choices.

However, your answer seemed to have caught Jaehyun’s attention, pausing in his tracks as he got curious as to why the specific choice. He had a huge grin on his face, he adored how you remembered the specific detail of red wine being his favourite, for he mentioned it in your first date which was 2 years back. But he knew there was more to it. He knew you too well. “But why red wine?”

You kept your gaze fixated on Jaehyun as he gets up from the ground, putting the cables in a secure manner to avoid another tie war. He hugged the pillow tight which you had previously thrown on him, before propping down beside you on the couch with a tired sigh, looking at you intently. It was as if you both were having a staring contest. So you rested your head on your right hand, both staring each other with soft smiles before you continued.

“You are much more to what everyone thinks you are,” you notice how Jaehyun cocks an eyebrow, still staring and trying to process what you just said.

“Just like wine, the more I know you, the more I know just how amazing you are. Both sweet and sour, but the balanced ratio of it is what makes you more admirable.” You admired how he was always able to balance things out, prior to what everyone believes about him, he had both good and bad sides to him. And that’s what made him more human, him acknowledging his flaws. That’s what made you fall for him.

Hearing you, Jaehyun thought he might dislocate his jaw anytime soon for smiling so hard. His heart started to do all sort of flips, ears starting to pink. It was at times like this when you don’t need words to express how you were feeling, silent but the communication was still present. Jaehyun slides his hand into yours, you glanced at both of your intertwined fingers before looking at him, his eyes full of hearts for you. You giggled, feeling shy at his intense stare but returning him the same way.

“I love you,” he whispered, his starry eyes which were only looking at you.

“Excuse me miss,” You jolt at the sudden change of voice coming from behind you. You whip around, a girl probably in her late teens stood nervously, her hands fidgets with the belts of her backpack. 

“Miss, you were kinda in the way so..” you felt flustered for absent-mindedly drifting into your dreamland while shopping for your friend, chiding yourself mentally in the process.

“Ah, I am so sorry,” you moved swiftly to the side to allow the teen some space to carry out her shopping. “Please, carry on.” You smiled softly. Though at the back of your mind you wanted to point out how she shouldn’t be consuming alcohol, but disregarded the urge nonetheless. Sometimes children should get to enjoy their minimal amount of fun in their youth too. You were still clutching the red wine bottle in your hand, eyeing it one last time before placing it back in the racks. You cleared your throat, as if to let the voices speaking inside your head know that you are not a stupid 20 year old anymore. You shake your head, glancing around to inspect if others were judging your state before proceeding to the counter for the random wine you picked which might have cost you half of your monthly salary. It’s okay to spend once in a while.

Mark was literally running around his apartment. Running. His head shot up as he remembered something. “Shit, fuck, are the bathroom lights okay?” he murmured to himself, sprinting off to the bathroom that was located in his vast living room first, followed by the ones in his bedroom and guestroom. Mark was still a newbie to the norms of living alone, him being a newborn living-alone man for sparsely 2 months. And he would barely be home due to his schedules. There were even times he would just forget his own bedroom.

“What else, what else,” he glanced over the whole area eyes drifting here and there before he realized something. Dumbass forgot to check if there were even enough food for two. Mark quickly scurried to the kitchen counter, the utensils were more than enough before checking his fridge. Beers? Check. Soju? Check. Kimchi? Check. Slices of chicken breast? Check. But the 33 year old still felt something was missing. Mark shifted his focus on the wooden shelf that was just above the kitchen sink, the transparent glass door of it making a creak sound as he opened it. For an apartment who’s owner was barely home, the shelf was definitely well packed and organized. It contained all sorts of ramen, tteokbokki and any other fast food you could name. “What else, what else, what else, what else,” he kept chanting, as if by some magic his chants of short memory would be heard and he would know what else was he missing out. He hunched over the lower shelf to inspect if all the sauces his housekeeper stores for him were present there. Absorbed in his thoughts, Mark did not notice the sudden sound of his bell going off, before the sounds just got repeated and even more louder. 

“What the fuck?” his eyebrows creased in annoyance, cussing out all the profanities he had in his vocabulary at the visitor’s insolent mannerism. Mark was beyond pissed, the person behind the other side of the door not only disrupted his memory battle but also had the audacity to ring the bell like a 3 year old in the middle of the night. Instead of just answering from the intercom, he directly opened the entrance door. “Look, it’s like 11 in the night - Hyung?” Mark halted his rant session as he realized it was Jaehyun standing in front of his house. Covered in black shirt, black mask, black pants - black everything, it would take a while for others who did not know him personally to recognize the member of the top boy group in the industry.

“Were you shitting or something,” Jaehyun smiled before casually giving his best friend a hug. Mark pulls out some of the spare slippers he had stored, while Jaehyun sits on the wooden step as he unties the knots of his black adidas. As Jaehyun get ups, he looks over to the other male standing in front of him, then down at the slippers and then again to the male.

“What?” Mark laughed, his hands shifting to the sides of his waist.

“Mark, please don’t go shopping by yourself next time,” Jaehyun silently judged Mark for offering him the fluffly colourful pink body and yellow polka dots slippers, similar to the ones he was wearing but the combination in opposite. 

“I got them from the BOGO offer going on in the supermarket just down the lane,” Mark wiggled his toes under the furry layer of clothing, slightly humming at the texture. “Bro this shit comfortable and cute, you can’t deny that.”

Jaehyun gives him another look, amused at how his bandmate’s old habits were still the same. “I help you out with your fashion choices next time. Don’t worry.” He patted Mark’s should, a sympathetic grin on his face as he anticipated the other male’s dramatic reaction. 

“Oh please,” Mark scoffed. “More like you need my and Johnny hyung’s assistance for your monotonous wardrobe!”

Jaehyun laughed at his friend’s rebuttal before lazily propping himself on the bean sack in the living room with a low hum. Oddly enough, Mark’s apartment felt more homely than his own apartment which was just above a few floors.

“But what brings you here?” Mark walks over to his fridge, judging by his friend’s sudden visit, he knew drinks had become a necessary part of the night. “And what about Hayoung?”

“What about her?” Jaehyun raised his eyebrow at Mark, skillfully catching the beer Mark had tossed to him after asking about Hayoung, Jaehyun’s, well complicated girl something.

“I though you guys might just....I don’t know, be official or something.” Mark stole a glance towards his friend, nervously opening his can. The momentary pin drop silence was an indicator, he indeed blurted something he should not have. The fizzy hiss of the beer can being opened barely broke the ice.

“I don’t do things like official,” Jaehyun scoffed, producing a low sigh after sipping the beer. Mark decided not to further press his friend, despite having an old unresolved grudge against Jaehyun somewhere deep within him. It had been years since all of that had happened, but he still felt hostility creep up inside every time he remembers that night, that week, that month. After all, it was you that Jaehyun had completely broken, torn and ripped apart.

Unbeknownst to the rummaging thoughts inside the mind of his bandmate, it took a while for the older to realize how oddly clean and organized the apartment looked. Jaehyun turned to Mark, eyebrows raised with mischievousness coating his words. “You having someone for the night tomorrow?”

Mark almost made a disgusted face but instead opted to scrunch. “Bro, I don’t have Tinder, neither do I wanna be a carrier of STDs.” Mark placed his empty can on the small glass table, simultaneously letting out a tired huff. Jaehyun almost took an offense to the statement, the attack was definitely but indirectly made towards him. But he decided to shrug it off, Mark was not lying after all. Jaehyun did not even know half of the girls’ names he had slept with, someday or another mixing up names which ends in him getting kicked out or being cursed out. That was what had happened that night as well. 

“Okay, I forgot. Hayoung, yes. Speak.” Jaehyun shot an incredulous look to the younger, as if he was able to read his mind or something. Mark only furrowed his eyebrows at the reaction.

“I-I....got kicked out,” Jaehyun’s voice was barely above a whisper, but the sharp eared male was able to catch his friend’s low murmur. Mark stifled his giggle, only to receive a glare from his friend. Jaehyun ran his fingers through his newly dyed lilac hair. Fucking embarrassing.

“But what made her do that?”

Jaehyun felt chills run down his spine as the scenario replayed in his head. He shivered despite the heater being on, an amused Mark glancing while chugging down the small remaining amount of beer. Mark was being a gentleman trying to conceal his laughter as Jaehyun rambled how he managed to fuck up yet another good hook-up buddy. At this point, Mark was not even surprised. Victim to his obvious facial expressions, Mark hated lying, and equally hated being lied to as well. Jaehyun side glanced his friend, a loud annoyed snort escaping from him. “Having fun, aren’t you?”

“Well, I mean it’s fun — sorry,” Mark clears his throat. He should be the type of friend who gives advices instead of laughing. Mark wiggled in his seat, distorting the empty can before having a perfect shot in the trashcan just a few feet away from him. Smooth one.

“I think I might retire, or just quit after the current contract ends,” Jaehyun felt tight, the words came out from him in a way too suffocating form. Mark visibly tenses, his laidback posture now crouching forward to his friend. Mark was too pre-occupied in his escalating solo career, the support he had been getting even before the official stage was way too much for him to fathom, but he was grateful for it nonetheless. A stinging guilt crept up inside him, chiding himself of being such an inconsiderate friend. “It’s high-time I start to live on my own accord.”

Mark decided to rather not pressurize the half-drunk dude with his numerous questions as to why or what has made him to take such a step. Jaehyun struggled to keep his eyes open, exhaustion was taking over his body ever faster now that he had booze in his system. Jaehyun would have rather opted to just spend the night on the couch (he preferred Mark’s limited edition long L shaped sofa over any king sized bed) but the guy decided to not get welcomed by his mate as ‘good morning.’ Mark put a hand on Jaehyun’s knee, an attempt to stop the non-stop stomping which was a very well-known drunk habit of him. Piling the blankets he just brought, the younger warned again, eyes like red lazer lights before trudging towards his bedroom. 

Feet wobbly, Jaehyun struggles to drag his build to switch off the remaining lights in the living room, glancing throughout the long empty space. He gulped down harshly, the familiar empty feeling creeping back to him which he had been avoiding for so long — for years. Jaehyun took a deep sigh, the heavy feeling feeling weighing down his chest as he took light steps towards the big glass window which granted him the view of the whole city. His eyes flickered at the luminous sight. He felt big but small, full, content but numb and empty. 

“Hyung, you’re still awake?” a sleepy voice spoke from behind, breaking out Jaehyun from his trance. 

“Huh?” It took a moment for him to process an answer. “Uh yeah. just like that. You go sleep.”

Mark shrugged, walking towards his bed as Jaehyun plopped down harshly on the duvet, wincing slightly as he felt a sprain in his lower back. With the alcohol slowly losing its effect on him with each passing second, Jaehyun started to feel more sober, more drawn back into the reality. He hated it. This feeling he was feeling.

Mark was having a rather difficult time to fall asleep. He even put on a random sleeping eye mask he uses for travelling, but alas that did not help either. He was too giddy, too excited for tomorrow. Pulling up the blankets over his head, Mark was assured he was safe from everyone, even maybe from God as a huge grin breaks out on his face. As much as he hates to admit it, Mark loved how things turned out to be the way they were.

“Oh god, this is so awkward. Oh god can I please please just die already?” Mark halted on his steps at the voice, glistening in sweats after the recent stage. He thought it would be an adventure to opt for the public washroom in disguise since the green rooms’ ones were all occupied by the rest of the members; and boy, Mark was really giving his all hold his pee.  

“OH GOD!” the sudden yelp caused the male to shriek quietly, muttering an inaudile ‘jesus’. Despite the odds, Mark decided not to test his luck, holding in the bubbling feeling just before explosion as much as he could. Muttering quiet curses, the male struggled to hold his posture as he stealthily tried to get to the other side of the stairs. Too busy in his on the way to urination voyage, Mark realized it was too late, he bumped. Bumped into someone. A girl. Hell yeah fucked. Panic crept at the back of his throat as he anticipated what was coming forth. Him being surrounded by numerous fan as he desperately tries to hold his pee. What a fucking sight.

“Look, I know you might be a staff or something,” Mark whipped his head at your voice. “But please just oh god,” you rambled, leaving the man standing with his legs crossed tightly in utter confusion. “I had no idea — Mark Lee?”

The colors from his faced drained, Mark turned casper for a split second. 

“PLEASE!” he was quick to react, half-whispering as he desperately caught your hands. “Please don’t just, uh.., shout or something.”

You immediately raised your hands in defense. “I uh have no reason to do so?” You stated, observing how he was literally squirming, it did not take you long to understand that the canadian needed to go the washroom as soon as possible. ”Oh!” You quickly moved. “Sorry for blocking your way!” Before he could even say thank you, you disappeared without any trace. Mark made a quick mental note to thank you, well that only if he ever happens to cross paths with you again. And deep down, he wised he would. On the other hand, you let out another distressed growl, promising to all of the heavens that never will you be ever accompanying your cousin sister, or let alone come to any concerts from now on. The stunt your drunken cousin had pulled just a while ago was humiliating enough, but of course, she had to spice it up by vomiting on the hallways just in front of the green room. You silently prayed and hope with all your might that maybe they will be generous enough not to sue you or ask for compensation for the mess, looking around cautiously for any employees before you sprinted off for the exit door, and yes, dragging the passed out stunt lady.

Mark felt as if he had a halo above his head, the water balloon inside him finally set free. But he had to race when he saw his phone buzzing with notifications, all of them belonging to his manager or the group chat of the members chanting same syllables ‘Where are you’ ‘show starts in 2′ ‘get yo ass here’. It did not take the rapper too while before he reached the green room, the makeup artists and stylists immediately wrapping themselves around him with brushes and hair sprays. He was smiling, genuinely smiling as he replayed the encounter he just had. Johnny raised an eyebrow with an amused grin on his face. 

“What’s with the smile, bro?” Johnny pulls up some random exercises to relieve the tension in his muscles.

Instead of dodging his question, Mark replied, still smiling, but wider. “The pee voyage was a nice one.”

Johnny judged the younger for a second before chuckling and heading towards the stage. The loud noises from the fans echoed throughout the whole arena, full of green lightsticks gleeming like blossoming spring garden. No wonder I called them grass, Mark thought. But today, he was looking for a rather specific individual, his eye scanning almost all the faces in the crowd. He hoped to see you again, smiling gleefully as he performed, but thought that it was too greedy of him to want this much in a span of a day. And so he performed, for the first time without any pressure of doing good, enjoying every moment of the stage he was on and yet again, wished that maybe, maybe your paths will collide with his again.

.

.

.

part 2

#wow my writing sucks #pls dont judge oki loves #idk if i should be asking this but #pls support this T.T #jung jaehyun #jaehyun sm #jung yoonoh #NCT #nct2020 #nct ot23 #nct oneshot #nct angst #nct fluff #nct incorrect quotes #nct mark #mark lee #lee minhyung #red wine #mark fluff #mark angst #comedy #jaehyun angst #nct dream angst #NCT 127 #nct imagines #czennie #cznnet #kdiarynet

[v3nusaphr0d1t3]

cuz im all that you want, boy

crossposted on ao3: <3 rating: explicit content warning: shameless porn, crying during sex, unprotected sex (wear a condom kids), feminine terms used for ftm genitals, i think thats it correct me if im wrong! <3 dabi fucks tomura silly on stream !

it was only a matter of time before tomura’s next stream, and his views were at an all time high. he had taken pictures of himself in the thigh highs and garters before he went live last time, and those posts were blowing up.

he wondered if dabi would let him take pictures next time.

next time was also a fun prospect. dabi and tomura had been considerably closer since the livestream, dabi being more and more taunting each time he interacted with tomura. tomura wanted to say he disliked it, but that would be lie. not that he was impartial to lying. but it just felt strange to lie to himself about the man who would be actively fucking him to pay the bills.

tomura got almost unreasonably excited for the next stream, but before it came, he needed to talk to dabi. they needed to set limited, get supplies, and get all of that set up before they dove too deep into this. he didn’t wanna fuck the dude up or potentially get himself knocked up.

so a couple days before his next scheduled livestream, he caught dabi in the kitchen. it was later on in the night, both being unhealthily nocturnal. dabi looked up from his ramen, sitting on the counter, and immediately gave a shit eating grin.

“hello, freakshow.” tomura’s voice was laced with annoyance and sarcasm.

“hey, creep. what’s up?” he took a long slurp of his ramen, and tomura fought the urge to roll his eyes. 

“we gotta talk about some things if you wanna keep joinin’ me for the streams.” tomura pulled up a chair at the table, across the counter that dabi was currently sitting on.

“ok, so first off. you can quit out at any time, i’ll just end the stream or continue it alone. just remember that, you can leave at any time. i’ll delete any videos or anything that i put up with you in them, just tell me.” tomura started out with the most important thing. “you can always tell me if you don’t like something, or if you aren’t comfortable with something. you got a safeword? mine’s red light, just for ease.”

dabi smiled, a strange reaction that tomura didn’t evoke often, and nodded. “i gotcha, i’ll go with that too. now what’s goin’ down during the next one?” dabi’s smile morphed into the shiteating grin that tomura knew all too well.

“well, it really depends. you could do me, i could do you, its what the audience wants to see. and what they’re willing to pay for.” tomura sported a little smirk of his own, immediately dropping when the man across from him took a loud slurp of his noodles.

it was a moment before dabi replied. “cool with me.”

---

in the days following, tomura made it his mission to try to wind dabi up. he wanted to increase the tension between them, and he found in his attempts that the frustrated blush on dabi’s face when he was frustrated was a good look on him. 

he would purposefully brush too far against him in the hallway or the kitchen, be in the kitchen with his thigh-highs on, or just give dabi these looks that he knew he was capable of— only because he had practiced them in the mirror for his streams. and the teasing was working. dabi was wound like a spring, snapping at tomura more often, and tomura would just grin and walk off.

it made him feel powerful, knowing he was doing something to his poor roommate. 

eventually the day came when the stream would take place, and butterflies made their way into tomura’s stomach as he set up the camera and tripod perpendicular to his bed, along with quivers in his legs and gut. and ten minutes before 10 pm, he knocked on dabi’s door and made his way back into his room to sit on his bed.

he put on some beat-heavy background music, easing him into his mood. he wasn’t wearing anything special on the surface this time, just a black thong under his shorts and a hoodie. he knew dabi would eat it up anyway, by the look on his face as he entered the room. he practically billowed steam, eyes lit up like firelight. it was intoxicating the way the other man looked at him. he turned his back, swallowing his embarrassment and adopting his livestream persona. he took a deep breath, moved to his laptop, and started the stream. dabi took his seat on the bed, leaned back on his hands and watching tomura like a hawk.

tomura greeted his returning viewers, and welcomed new ones, before the view count got too high to speak to individually and he addressed the group of them all.

“hey, i’m tomura, this is my roommate dabi, and welcome to tonight’s stream—” he went on to explain the goals this stream, and left the events of the night open to the democracy of his chat.

>> I kinda want to see our boy get ruined… 0////0

>> Agreed!! ^^

>> idk, i think we shud let tomu decide -3-

>> fuck him up dabi

tomura nearly blushed at the influx of comments requesting dabi ‘ruin’ him, and he’d be lying if he said the thought wasn’t getting him wet in his shorts. he chuckled, a fake hollow little thing that the audience would eat up, and quickly looked back at dabi. he was nearly stopped in his tracks at the sight of two neon blue eyes tracing his movement with intensity that had tomura nearly shaking.

“well, folks, i’d say yes but i think i’d like to see you put your money where your mouth is.” it weirdly always paid for him to be upfront. it added to his strange rotten charm as a performer. 

dabi seemed nearly surprised in the background, the white-haired man watching him through the screen of his computer.

“what’re they suggestin’, tomura?” his name out of dabi’s mouth was intimate in this setting, and almost threw tomura off. he turned to face the man, giving another shit-eating grin.

“they wanna see you fuck me.” he was composed and slightly sultry outwardly, but on the inside it felt like a small horde of giant butterflies were currently trying to rattle his ribcage. he was glad he was on medication for his raging anxiety or he wouldn’t have this job, or the chance to fuck his hot roommate. he could feel the tingle in his legs working its way up and toward his core. especially at the look and quiet growl dabi made at tomura’s words.

he prayed to whatever god was listening that someone donated. but in the meantime, he had a show to put on. he turned back to the chat.

>> rile him up, tomu ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑

>> ^^^^

and tomura’s own eagerness showed when he immediately followed orders, standing up and making his way over to where dabi was sitting, sliding into his lap just like last time.

“hello again—” tomura cut dabi off before he could even start with a hungry kiss. dabi’s arms immediately went to wrap around tomura’s waist, engulfing it and pulling tomura against the hardness in dabi’s sweatpants.

hot.

ding!

tomura pulled away from the kiss, whipping his head around to look at the screen.

>>> cyncyty Donated $50.00: ride his face ! <<<

tomura’s face turned red, looking to dabi, who was also staring at the donation.

“well, looks like we have a request! thank you... “ tomura didn’t have a clue how to pronounce the username, “so much!” his voice was enthusiastic to hide the shaking in his legs that dabi could no doubt feel as said man gripped his thighs and grinded his hips up, causing tomura to lose his breath.

“you heard em’, hop on.” dabi’s voice was gravelly and tomura could see the desire in his eyes. dabi leaned back on his elbows, still rolling his hips up into tomura.

tomura put on a show in taking his clothes off, as he always tried to do. pulling his hoodie over his head, and removing himself from dabi’s lap to taunt the camera with the straps of his underwear that were visible over the sides of his shorts. he saw dabi strip his shirt in the background as tomura finally pulled his shorts and underwear off after plenty of taunting his audience. and dabi, apparently, because as soon as tomura was in reach, dabi was gripping him by the waist and pulling the white-haired man back-to-front in his lap and attaching his lips to tomura’s neck.

tomura let out a (semi-embarrassing) whine, arching back into his touch, feeling the other man’s erection through his sweatpants. dabi ate it up, sucking another mark into tomura’s neck before laying back and laughing at tomura’s gasp when he thrust up again.

“c’mon babydoll, we don’t have all day.” tomura swore dabi got a power-high from this, evil little glint in his eye telling the white-haired man all he needed to know. either way, there was a reaction in the way that tomura scrambled to position himself with either thigh on the sides of dabi’s head. the camera had a side perspective, getting all of tomura’s expressions as dabi dove in.

dabi had a lot of practice, somewhere, sometime because the way he was working tomura out almost immediately was borderline unfair. tomura snuck a hand into dabi’s hair, yanking and receiving a growl against him for his efforts. tomura ground down against dabi’s magical fuckin’ tongue as he brought his other hand up to muffle himself. that had dabi immediately pulling off of him to look up at him, blue eyes meeting red, as if waiting for something.

“they gotta hear you baby, ain’t that the whole point?” tomura could hear his smirk but obeyed anyway, putting his other hand in dabi’s hair and pulling him back to where he wanted him.

ding!

>>> cmrbbg Donated $110.00: Fuck him silly, Make him cry. <<<

tomura looked over to the laptop, blissed out look in his eye, only to see his highest returning donator once again blow everyone else out of the water. tomura rolled his hips against the warmth of dabi’s mouth before pulling away, sliding down and letting dabi sit up.

but before tomura could say anything, dabi said it for him.

“god, fuckin’ thank you—” was his only warning before dabi was manhandling him into quite an embarrassing position, face down ass up on his own bed before he could even say ‘shit’. dabi had him by his hips, forcing his back into quite the impressive arch. 

dabi grabbed the lube from tomura’s bedside table and slicked his fingers up, one entering with no resistance. he added another, earning a breathy sigh from tomura. he curled his fingers upwards, locating that little spot inside him that made tomura’s hips rock against him.

“god, you’re so pretty like this, y’know?” dabi breathed out, words deep and damn near confectionary. tomura wasn’t used to compliments, burying his head into his arms. dabi scissored his fingers.

“you are. you’re glowin’, baby. so perfect like this, gonna take me so good. you’re gorgeous.” the last bit was whispered, the mic not picking it up as tomura blushed down to his shoulders. his arch deepened, legs spreading a bit more as dabi added a third finger. it was accompanied by a pitiful moan that failed to be muffled by tomura’s arms. finally, dabi deemed him ready— or he was just done with this torment, as tomura heard clothes rustling and the slick sound of the lube. tomura didn’t turn around, only swaying his hips from side to side coyly as he knew the audience liked.

he felt those hot hands grip his hips again, and he felt hot pressure against his entrance. dabi grinded his cock against him, not entering as another form of torture that teh white-haired man  was fed up with.

“you know what to do, tomura.” the words were commanding and taunting at the same time, the tone making tomura hot as dabi massaged his thighs. tomura tried to push back against dabi, grinding back and making the other man suck his breath in.

“you’re not gettin’ nothin’ unless you ask nicely, i know you know how to, baby.” dabi murmured, tracing his hand along the dip in tomura’s spine. the touch was so gentle, so intimate, that it had tomura spilling his pride and his words for this man yet again.

“please,” he panted out, nearly biting his hand out of embarrassment due to his whiny tone.

“please what?”

“please fuck me, please—” and with a shock that shot straight up his spine, he felt dabi enter him all at once. he made an awful squawking noise, nearly folding in on himself. dabi stayed where he was for a moment, tapping on tomura’s hip to check in on him. tomura nodded, and dabi began his violent thrusts. tomura felt every slide of metal and hot flesh against his inside, feeling split open on the other man’s cock. the rubbing against his insides scratched an itch, satisfied an ache, and he could feel himself getting lost in it. his moans were muffled into his arms as his eyes damn near rolled to the back of his head, eyes half-lidded and full of lust.

dabi suddenly, grabbed him by his hair and wrapped a hand under his chest and pulled his up, throwing him off guard. a new angle hit a spot inside tomura he didn’t even know he had, and he let out a loud gasp as dabi continued to plow that spot inside him. tomura felt a pressure building up in his gut.

“fuck— dabi, god, please—” tomura babbled, “god, i can feel it.”

dabi let out a breathy chuckle, nosing along tomura’s shoulders, moving to hold him up by a vice grip on his elbows.

“close, close, please—” 

and with that, dabi dropped tomura onto the bed, roughly pulling out and leaving tomura to face-plant into the pillows.

tomura looked around at him with murder in his eyes. dabi only grinned, leaning over tomura and flipping him over on his back. dabi took tomura’s hands, placing them above his head.

“keep em’ there or it’s over,” dabi threatened, despite the fact that he felt like he would die if he didn’t have tomura right there with him. tomura was heating up and his brain felt like jello already, his orgasm staved off by the drop of his gut from the surprise faceplant.

dabi re-entered, this time agonizingly slow. tomura tried to wriggle his hips, but dabi just held them in his iron hot grip. they had honestly forgotten about the camera at this point, too caught up in the flush of their hips as dabi finally pushed all the way inside. they started up again, rocking their hips together with enough momentum that the impact was nearly bruising at the spots of touch. tomura’s pillowy thighs helped with that, despite his boney nature.

the drag of heat from his cunt to the look that dabi was giving him, in addition to the buildup of one orgasm with no relief had tomura getting close again already.

“please, can i cum? i’ve been good, i’ll be good—”

“god, you have no idea how good you sound right now. you’re so hot, tomura. beg me again, just like that?” dabi’s grin was awful and shit-eating, but tomura had lost all pride, only focused on the slap of their hips and the melting of his own mind.

“dabi! dabi, please— let me cum, god—” and as much as dabi wanted to give it to him, he still pulled out. he had a job to do, and with the way tomura was wriggling in frustration, whimpering like a bitch in heat, dabi could do this all day.

he had to make tomura cry. and with the look on the other man’s face, he wasn’t far off. wide, glassy eyes, a grimace and upturned brows. all he needed was the tears. so he sat, and he waited while tomura squirmed. each time tomura would try to take initiative, dabi would grab his hips to stop his movements, and tomura had yet to disobey him about moving his arms. it was so hot to have control over someone who usually gave him so much shit.

tomura started begging again, and dabi eventually had to give in, piledriving his cock into the man below him. and with a few particularly deep thrusts, tomura threw his head back as a tear ran down his face. his moans were more like quiet and breathless sobs at this point, so eager and so ready. so dabi sped up, slamming into the boy harder and harder. tomura’s words sped up and broke apart until they were just small little groans of “dabi”, “please”, and “fuck”. it was amusing that dabi really had fucked him silly. tears escaped tomura’s gorgeous red eyes, rolling down his red cheeks and bringing dabi so much closer to the edge.

tomura’s arms finally moved and came to grip at dabi’s biceps. dabi allowed it because the boy probably needed something to ground himself with. dabi decided to show the poor boy mercy, reaching down with his thumb to circle the boys swollen clit and leaned down to murmur in his ear.

“cum for me, pretty boy,” and tomura was undone. a cry, a gasp and a visceral physical reaction, and he was clenching around dabi as he came so hard he saw stars.

it wasn’t long for dabi, pulling out and cumming on tomura’s stomach with a groan, panting as he felt tomura still holding on to his arms. dabi sat back for a moment to catch his breath before approaching the laptop, still nude.

“well, i hope you enjoyed. gonna go take care of our resident star, and i’ll be seeing you guys next time.” dabi murmured a quick goodbye to the audience, shutting off the livestream and turning off the computer. dabi didn’t know how to turn off the equipment, that was just something tomura would have to fuck with once he came back to the land of the living. dabi went off to retrieve a rag and some water, coming back to tomura staring at the ceiling.

“you with me, baby?” dabi sat back on the bed, using the rag to gently clean tomura up, before cleaning himself up and throwing the rag on the floor to be dealt with later (gross). he motioned the water bottle to tomura, which he happily gulped down.

“jesus, yeah. that was—” tomura cut off, shaking his head. “can you get my hoodie for me? and some regular underwear. i can’t fuckin’ walk, freakshow. you did me in.” tomura griped, and dabi went to fulfill the request, throwing on his own boxers. and to his own surprise,tomura grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him down onto the bed and wrapping himself around dabi like some sort of koala. 

“stay,” was all tomura said.

and so dabi did.

#dabi bnha #dabi #touya todoroki #bnha lemon #shigadabi #dabi x shigaraki #shigaraki tomura

[xgoldxnhour]

June 24th

Sun barely peeks through the sheer curtains, creating long diagonal shards of light across the woven bedding--a soft birdsong trickles outside their window as if even they know what day it is. She lets Sam sleep in this morning, knowing that all the early perimeter checks and hunting scouts at dawn most days took its toll. And with the baby coming, today was only more of an excuse for Eloise to have the opportunity to share her gratitude to the man she was graciously allowed to call her husband.

Lying on her side, she silently watches his sleeping form as air exhales deeply from his chest, the rhythmic movement alluring in its gravity like waves crashing into the shore. Half of his face is covered, nose buried into the pillow as she scoots down to meet his closed gaze. It's a rare sight as Sam is usually the early riser of the two and the second trimester had only ignited her raging hate for early mornings, often the one being coaxed awake or left to sleep as he leaves for his duties. So, she takes the sight in gladly, drinking in the soft dim lighting as the world slowly begins to wake.

"Sam." Her voice barely meets a whisper as a finger glides down the bridge of his nose, bringing a soft kiss to its tip. "Baby, wake up."

Sam is startled awake, concern etched in a sharp inhale and open eyes as if waiting for alarming news. Obviously, he too isn't used to being the one awakened unless its her asking for help with morning sickness or whatever other symptom revealed its head in the night. A soft, singsong giggle leaves her lips, fingers going to softly caress his jaw, nails gliding through his beard--a memorized, almost muscle memory movement. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Eyes close again, grumbling incoherantly as his hand immediately meets her stomach in a soft rubbing motion, burying his face against her. El hums another easy laugh, fingers moving to thread through his hair, nose nestling in its fire--soft and cool to the touch--where lips easily place there.

"Do you know what day it is?" Her volume never rises, remaining the soft, hushed tone in the midst of their close proximity, responded by a questionable groan. Her nose coasts down his forehead, meeting the dip of his as she presses her lips to that spot. "June 24th."

He groans again, shuffling barely as she continues another giggle, thankful for a rare easy morning of her own health and mood. Usually she was the Groany McGee in the mornings.

Birthdays and holidays were one of the things she missed most about the world before the Fall. Everyone getting together with their closest loved ones in means of celebration with often baked goods and enough food to last a week afterwards. The preparation of it all--deciding whether it will be a surprise party or themed--decorations, activities, getting dressed up--creating memories that'll last a lifetime. Those times weren't allotted during these times as people began to lose track of time, El even losing count after it reached the hundreds. It nearly brought tears to her eyes once part of the community explained their date keeping system to help keep in time with solstices and even invite a realm of normalcy. It allowed mornings like these, where she gets to whisper closely, being able to celebrate the birth of her moon.

"I got you something." The tone though hushed held a rising excitement, one that had been building up for weeks, even months since she had the idea in the first place, just waiting for the special day. Slowly, she turns around (which is a bit of an extra effort with a bump the size of a bowling bowl beneath her shirt), reaching for the bowl that waited on her side table. Opening the drawer, she finds a box of matches she'd been saving, nearly vibrating in anticipation. Striking the match, a flame erupts until its slowly hovered over the wick, blowing out the original as another one grows--struck by the smell of fire and something far sweeter. When she turns around, she presents a bowl of berries covered in cream and a singular lit birthday candle stuck in the middle. "Jack said he found some in his last run and I basically had to beg to get even one." She giggles, hands it over to him, however, holds her hands up. "Wait, hold on. Hold on. I have another surprise. Don't blow them out yet." Kicking the sheets aside, the young, pregnant blonde moves to sit on the edge of the bed, shooing his hand away as he attempts to help and stands on her own before disappearing past the corner.

"I didn't have any gift wrap, so, you gotta close your eyes, okay?" She calls, followed by a sound of shuffling and things opening and even a soft 'ow' before she returns, poking her head in the doorway by her side of the bed. "Are they closed?" He promises they are, holding the burning candle and dessert breakfast in his lap as the weight beneath him shifts, married with familiar shuffles and grunts.

"Okay. Open them."

When Sam opens his eyes, he is met with a large, thick, folded quilt with a kaleidoscope of colors being unfolded to reveal different squared patches of different fabrics. El points to each one. "We have...Mr. Wilson's famous overalls, still your best look if you ask me, baby. And...this...beautiful...absolute stunning electric pink dress you made me wear our first week, got some of our old curtains over here." She's laughing at her own bits of sarcasm, genuinely relieved that the project of months in the making is finished and finally given to him. Each patch was a symbol of their life together thus far, their everlasting prevail against transgressions and opposition, never wavering in their strengthening love for one another--bits of fabrics collected along the way. There were some old fabrics from the farmhouse attic, patches of patterned shirts or graphics from shirts they found at the thrift shop but never decided to wear or made into future baby clothes. Even the old dining table cloth that they never found the need to use and always said they would.

"I wanted to make something...that we could take anywhere ...wherever it is that this world leads us...and maybe something that we can pass down...to Aurora." Tears begin to pool, immediately streaming down her cheeks as she lets out a broken laugh. "Shit, sorry, I swear I was trying real hard this time not to cry." Swiping the tears away, her red rimmed gaze finds his, smile only widening at the sight, overwhelmed in her gratitude for everything he's done and how fervently she was in love with him--being able to celebrate the birth of her moon.

She nods to the bowl, still in his lap, half forgetting of the melting candle, hoping that the wax didn't begin to mix into the cream. "Alright, make a wish before the whole thing melts."

El watches as Sam takes a silent moment before his eyes open and the candle is blown out. She claps in elation, thoroughly just happy that she hadn't ruined the surprises as those were the worst secrets to keep. When he looks to her again, she pulls him into a long, deep, salty-teared kiss. They separate for breath only when absolutely necessary, much like their first kiss in the truck and plenty others after.

"Happy birthday, Sam."

And to endless more.

@mettleborn

#mettleborn #sam: tell me the story of how the sun fell in love with the moon #[sam & eloise: waltzing in the dark i'll give you all my tomorrows] #v: this is the way the world ends #happy birthday my love!! #you are incredible and I had to write something for our babies whom I love with all my life and love you

[tracybirds]

Earthbound (2/?)

Alan and John make it to Christchurch and Alan is frequently insensitive because he’s young and still learning. John’s not really making it any easier for him either.

Read Previous: [1]

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It had been easier than Alan had expected, convincing John that the best thing he could do was catch a plane to Christchurch. He’d seemed almost pathetically relieved at the suggestion, moving to pack with a sudden and familiar determination that made Alan certain of his decision. He didn’t ask questions about their destination but turned up an hour later with a suitcase and backpack ready to go. Virgil volunteered to drop them in Christchurch and so Alan settled next to him in the co-pilot seat of Tracy Two ready for the three hour flight south.

“Does he know where you’re going yet?” Virgil asked softly, glancing over his shoulder at John who was staring out the window.

“I haven’t told him,” admitted Alan. He shifted in his seat. “Do you think he’ll be okay?”

“John?” asked Virgil. “He’ll be fine. You’ll keep him safe, and for what it’s worth, I think you’re right, he needed to get off the island.”

“Has he talked to you about what happened?”

Virgil grimaced. “He tried. I don’t think he has the words yet.”

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” said Alan, glancing back at him. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this unsettled.”

“Grief does strange things to a person,” said Virgil.

“How can he be grieving?” asked Alan, looking young and confused. “It’s not like anyone died.”

“Grief’s not just something that happens when people die, Alan,” said Virgil quietly. “Any extreme loss can require a grieving process. A relationship, an injury, a dream. It’s hard to move on from those sorts of things.”

“Oh,” said Alan, suddenly feeling panic bubbling up within him. “Virgil, I don’t know if I should be the one to take him. I don’t know how to help him or anything. I don’t think I know how to talk to him anymore. I didn’t even know that about grief, what good am I gonna do?”

“Hey, hey,” said Virgil, reaching out a hand to clasp his shoulder. “You’ve got this. You know John just as much as the rest of us, maybe even better. You’re the one who could see he needed help, you’re the one who figured out what to do about it, and you’re the one he’s listening to right now. We trust you, and more importantly, so does John. Just give him a chance.”

“Maybe,” said Alan, still feeling uncertain. “I just wish he felt more like John right now.”

Virgil gave him a tired smile. “Let me know if you need any advice. Or just to talk if it gets too much. You gotta look after yourself as well kiddo.”

He jerked his head back towards the cabin where John was still staring absently out the window. “Go check on him now, I’ve got to start landing procedures.”

Alan nodded, leaving the cockpit and carefully sliding the door shut behind him. He sat opposite John and cleared his throat.

John smiled faintly at him.

“So how’s it going?” Alan asked, instantly cursing himself for not having better words.

“Fine,” said John. He shifted in his seat slightly to get a better look at his brother. “Where are we going?”

“Mackenzie Country,” said Alan. He swallowed nervously as he eyed John, knowing he would recognise the significance of those words.

“The dark sky reserve?” John asked neutrally.

Alan nodded. There was an angry flash in his brother’s eyes.

“Did Scott put you up to this?” he asked, his voice suddenly low and hard.

“No, no,” said Alan quickly. “No, I chose it, I asked to take you.”

“Oh,” said John, slumping back in his seat, the fire dying away immediately.

“We can go somewhere else.”

“No,” said John. “It’s fine.”

Alan gave him a weak smile. He’d wondered if he was pushing his luck to book a private cabin on the shores of Lake Tekapo, the trip being one they’d planned together when he was still a child and John still in love with his stars.

There were memories tied to this place they’d never visited, memories he could see springing back to the forefront of his brother’s mind.

“Seatbelts on, guys,” called Virgil’s voice through the comms.

John reached out and laid a hand on Alan’s wrist. “I’m sorry.”

Alan looked at his brother, feeling tongue tied and awkward in a way he never had before, and said nothing.

---

“This is it?” asked John in disbelief, staring at the garish rental van Alan had picked.

“Isn’t it perfect?” gushed Alan, twirling the keys excitedly as he spoke.

“This can’t be it,” said John, staring at the bright orange van. “You’re not serious.”

“It’s your favourite colour,” exclaimed Alan happily. “And look.”

John looked and paled as he saw the word printed on the side of the van.

“Spaceships?” he said in a strangled voice. “Really?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll drive,” said Alan. He shot John a cheeky grin. “I know it’s been a while since you’ve piloted a real rocket after all.”

John’s lips twitched and Alan felt his spirits lift with the knowledge that he still knew how to make his brother laugh.

“Okay, fine,” said John, shaking his head. “This is the most ridiculous van I’ve ever seen, but as long as it runs.”

“And it’s not like we’ll lose it,” joked Alan, as he threw their bags in the back.

“There’s an actual stove in there,” said John in confusion.

“Did I not tell you we were freedom camping?”

“We’re not,” said John. “I’ll call Virgil back, I’m not sleeping in a van.”

“You’ve slept outside before, what’s the difference?”

“I have dignity.”

Alan turned the key and grinned as the van hummed, the engine springing to life.

“She looks older than she is,” he assured John. “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

“If you say so,” muttered John, shaking his head as he climbed into the seat next to Alan.

Alan deflated at the statement. He knew John didn’t mean to sound dismissive but his attitude made Alan worry that he had misjudged his brother’s ability to go through with the trip, despite his earlier insistence that he would just fine.

They drove towards the exit, making a few extra loops along the way before pulling out into the busy roundabout.

“We’re not actually camping, don’t worry,” he told John, still feeling awkward. It was hard to tell if John had worked out he had been joking.

John grunted and Alan looked around him desperately, trying to find some way of making conversation.

“Antarctic Centre?” He wondered out loud as they passed the brown sign. “We’re not that far south.”

“Christchurch is where a lot of the international expeditions to the Antarctic depart from,” said John absently. Alan relaxed at the sound, knowing his brother had moved on from his earlier mood.

“Did you want to go?” John asked, looking at Alan curiously.

“Maybe on the way back,” said Alan. “It’s a three hour drive and Bran’s told me a place to stop for lunch.”

“Three hours?” said John, with a slight smile. “That’s nothing.”

“Yeah, after all those cruises in space?” said Alan, grinning at his brother. “It’s just a Sunday drive.”

It was an old joke, one they often shared with a nudge and an eyeroll whenever Scott complained about Tracy Two being so much slower than Thunderbird One.

“Try a road trip to the Sun next time.” John knew his part well, his mouth opening automatically in response. Alan could see the exact moment where he registered the words, the way he physically reeled back as if that would help him escape his thoughts.

It was as though a shutter had been pulled across his mind, one that left John frozen. Alan leaned over and roughly shook his brother. He didn’t dare look over at John for too long, conscious that he was both driving and terrified to see the unresponsive expression on John’s face. He’d seen his brother in many lights; elated, apprehensive, challenged, competitive, anxious. Not once had he seen his brother scared for his life.

“John?” he called, sharply. “John, you with me?”

There was no reply. Alan swore and jerked the steering wheel to the left, quickly pulling over and ignoring the annoyed beeping from the cars that swerved around him.

“Damn it, John, I do not want to go crawling back to Scott on day one, get it together.”

He was getting angry at the lack of response, furious at this stranger who had come and taken his brother’s place. He’d always known where he stood with John, he was a steady undercurrent in their family’s ocean and it wasn’t fair that their relationship had been torn away from him.

“What’s wrong with you?” he demanded. “Are you even trying to get back up there? Or are you just wasting everyone’s time?”

John sagged in his seat and Alan was vindictively satisfied at the way he had jolted him from his memories, knowing it was more than anyone else had ever managed.

His shoulders and hands were shaking. Alan faltered as the sound of sharp, wet inhalations filled the van.

“You don’t know a thing,” John whispered hoarsely. “I thought you might understand but I should have known.”

He could see the tears now, tears that streamed down John’s cheeks. He made no move to wipe them away, his face contorted more by rage than despair.

Alan realised he had put his foot in it, the impact of his rash words settling around him and leaving stains of guilt in their wake.

“Let’s get this over with,” spat his brother. “Just go.”

#alan tracy #john tracy #virgil tracy #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #sometimes i fic #now i gotta not be late for work #and hopefully focus on some other stories lol.... #such it the life!!

[thewalkingdead-imagines]

Negan Imagine ~ Caught (pt.6)

Summary: After the chilling events in Alexandria, the reader finally arrives at the Sanctuary where Negan tries his best to cheer her up. Negan x Reader/Rick’s daughter part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5  (none of these have to be necessarily read to understand the plot of the following part)

Dim light streamed into the truck as it jerked over the damaged road that lead to the Sanctuary. The night had almost fully taken a hold of the sky, spreading like a dark sheet over the large factory that got closer and closer with every feet the truck passed. The cool air had urged you closer into Negan’s warm embrace and underneath the thick blanket, trying to flee from the cold and the thoughts that still kept your mind hostage. They were like a record playing on constant repeat, mixed with the anger filled voice of your dad, the thumping sound of the bags as he’d dropped them in front of you, the words that left his lips when he’d made you choose. You could banish him, Carl, Judith and everybody else back at Alexandria out of your mind for only a couple moments at once before they popped back up, with your only option to keep your mind otherwise distracted by Negan’s touch and scent, and now, the Sanctuary that laid finally right in front of you. ”Just a couple more minutes and then were right where we gotta be”, you hear Negan grumble into your hair, still holding you as you peaked through the large front window of the truck and step by step, recognized parts of the Sanctuary Negan had told you about. The large cage with tied up walkers that should protect the place, the gates that wouldn’t ever stop squeaking no matter how often he told his men to oil it and the different blocks and entrances of the Sanctuary. Your eyes kept trying to catch those things, hoping that the illusion of recognizing them would give you at least a tiny bit the feeling of familiarity even though you had never seen this place before. You cuddled for another moment into Negan’s embrace, using him like your very own pillow while you watched the gray buildings passing past you until the truck suddenly stopped. “Ah we’re here”, he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you could hear the brakes of the other trucks and cars squeaking around you and voices beginning to mix with heavy footsteps. “How ‘bout you take Lucille and I take your bags”, you heard him add, urging you to realize that you would have to peel yourself off the benches now and face the reality outside. Nodding, you began to dive out of the trance the drive had kept you in, finally moving slowly out of Negan’s arms to glance at him through the faint light that streamed into the truck.  ”Everything’s gonna be fuckin’ fine”, he said, trying to cheer you up with a small smile as he reached towards his bat and pressed her handle into your hands, as if he was trying to let her give you the support he got at times from her. You gulped thickly, even though you still nodded as he leaned to press a kiss to your lips and finally heft himself off the bench to end the ride for good and start your way off into your new home.

The gravely ground was crunching beneath your shoes as soon as you stepped out of the truck, wrapping your hand tighter around Lucille’s handle, glancing around in the dimmer becoming light, taking in the place that was now your home until Negan stepped out behind you. He groaned lightly as he hefted the bags out of the truck, taking one in each hand before he moved beside you and nodded towards the closest entrance. “Alright, we two gotta go in there and then up to the apartment”, he said, pulling his lips into a small, supportive smile for you as you slowly nodded. “Boss man! There you finally are. How long it’s been? Two weeks? Three? Almost thought you’d abandon us”, you suddenly heard Simon’s loud voice booming through the air as he strutted from behind one of the trucks towards you. There was some taunt swinging in his last words, just enough to recognize but it was there and you could tell by the glance that begun to flare up in Negan’s eyes that he did so as well. “Calm your ass down, Simon. I’m back so shit’s all fine”, he retorted with a growl, straightening his figure to tower a little more over the man who was walking up to his side, a big grin laying on Simon’s face. “Yes it is!”, he said almost a bit too enthusiastic before he glanced at you,”And ya got us a new addition.” You just nodded, unsure what you should respond. You’d never been very out of sorts with him, but right now his behavior just seemed more off than usual. “Well, then welcome to the Sanctuary”, he said, grinning a little too widely as he stemmed his hands into his hips before he glanced back to Negan and nodded towards the bags in his hands,“You want me to get someone to carry them up?” “Nah, get them up myself. Better to be just us two now”, Negan responded, giving Simon a short nod while he moved a little closer towards you, “But tell Randall to get us some of those sandwiches later up.” “Alright, gonna tell him right away.” “Good, well then thanks right-hand man”, Negan mumbled, eyeing Simon for another moment before you could see Simon giving him another nod. “Then see ya around. Good to have you back”, Simon said, running a hand over his jaw before he turned around and walked off, disappearing behind the trucks and leaving you with a bit of an odd feeling. “Hook in, Sweetheart”, you heard Negan say, darting your attention back to him  as you saw him nodding to his arm,  “Gotta finally get you upstairs.”

Moments later you were already following his lead, up a couple of cement stairs that towered over the trucks,  until he stemmed the heavy metal door open and allowed the both of you to slip into the hallway. “Now I know it doesn’t have that idyllic peachy Alexandria atmosphere but it’s got its own charm”, he said as soon as you stood inside the Sanctuary, the door falling behind you into its lock. It was a very own charm Negan was talking about there, the light was dim, even a little cold in the hallways whose walls were painted gray and were covered here and there with doors that lead to further rooms. You sure had to get adjusted to it, especially since you were used to your old home, to the cozy homes, the green patches and fields, and the wide roads that were surrounded by trees and the small lake. This was almost the opposite, but you had heard Negan talk about his own apartment that at least sounded to be as different to these empty hallways as Alexandria was. You shifted a little closer towards him as you made your way further through the Sanctuary, holding onto his arm until you reached a staircase at the end of just another hallway. “How far is it till your room?”, you asked, glancing at him as he cleared his throat. “Our”, he just retorted, softly chuckling as he saw the questioning glance in your eyes arise,”It’s our room now, Sweetheart.” His voice sounded almost excited as his eyes captured yours for another moment, before they softened as he still caught the exhaustion and pain painted on its surface the day had left. You knew he had always wished for you to join him here someday, as much as you knew that he would have wanted to be caused by other circumstances. For a short moment he leaned down, pressing a small kiss to your lips before nodding up. “Gotta go up all those damn stairs, that’s the only drawback of that room, but the view from there is fan-fuckin-tasting, you’ll like it”, he said, shooting you a supportive smile that allowed to grasp some warmth within you, fighting the sorrow that was still stuck deeply in your head.

The stairs left your legs strained and heavy, as if cement was tied to your feet but as you eventually reached the highest floor, a bit relief began to wash slowly over you. “Got the whole floor just for us”, Negan said as he stemmed the heavy metal door open that parted the staircase from the rest of the hallway. You gave him a soft nod, glancing into the hallway that hat was enlightened with some evening light, caused by the outside facing door on the other side of the hallway before you kept up with Negan’s step, trying to figure out where exactly his room was. “Aaaand”, he exclaimed after just a few more moments ,”Here we are!” He shot you a grin as he stopped before two heavy wooden doors that differed from all the others on the floor, nodding towards its dark surface as he ran his tongue over his lower lip. For a moment he set down one of the bags to reach towards the handle and grasped it, pushing the door open with a soft chuckle, “Home, sweet fuckin’ home. Get in, Sweetheart.” Your eyes laid still on him and his obvious try to lift your mood before your glance wandered inside as you slowly stepped in. Slowly, the imaginary picture you’ve had of the room from Negan’s stories began to match the scene that laid in front of you. The big windows that flooded the room with evening light, the armchairs and especially the comfy looking black leather couch beside it that Negan had often raved about, the big industrial shelves behind it that were filled with books and some decoration, the large dark bed beside the door that was decked with black sheets and a bunch of pillows which was just a part of what you were taking in as you glanced around. “Awesome, huh?”, Negan said as he walked behind you into the apartment, quickly laying the bags down next to one of the benches before he strutted back over to you. “We can still change stuff, y’know?”, he said with a smile, widening his arms to gesture around the room before he slung one of them around your waist,”Just want you to feel all homey here.” You slowly nodded, trying to somehow get your mind to be open for his tries to cheer you up and make you feel as welcome as he could. Slowly, you leaned your head against his neck, cuddling against him for a moment as you slung another arm around his torso and breathed deeply out, trying to shut down the thoughts in your head. “Thank you”, you quietly mumbled, nuzzling your nose into the fabric of his shirt while he pulled you closer, pressing a kiss to your forehead before you could feel a small smile growing against your skin. “How about we get your stuff in the closet, huh? Get started with some baby steps?”, Negan asked after a few more moments of just holding you, pushing you a little closer before you could feel him nodding to the dark wooden closet that laid across from the big bed and next to the door that must lead to another room, probably a bathroom. “Okay”, you mumbled, diving your face for a last time into his shirt before you could feel him moving over the other side of the room. “Finally stuff to fill that shit up”, Negan mumbled with a small groan not much later as he pushed the small piles of white and gray shirts to the side, getting some place for you in between them. You glanced at him from the spot beside him, watching how he bowed down to drag the zipper of one of the bags at your feet open. “Ah crap, he really put his damn back in throwing that shit in here”, Negan grumbled about your Dad, only to let the thought of him and your final fight to flare up again. “Shit..didn’t mean to whirl crap up”, you heard Negan sigh out, glancing worriedly at you as soon as he could glance at your fallen face again,”Wanna sit your sweet ass down? I can do this shit for you.” “Really?-” “Really”, he cut you off as soon as your voice had just nearly hushed, giving you a small smile before he leaned in to peck your lips, allowing you to shut your thoughts off for just a small moment. You kept trying to keep it that way as you kicked your boots off and sat down on the large bed, feeling how it sunk a little under your weight as you shuffled onto the sheets. They were just as soft as they looked, matching with the comfy pillows that gave gently in as you leaned your back into them and glanced at Negan who was still pushing his clothes to the sides just to fill the new made space up with yours. He was trying to fold them as well as he could with the mess your father had left in the bag by throwing as much in it as he could grab, but still, how much Negan was trying to give you the most comfortable start as possible let some warmth curse through your body that was more than worn out from the day. Part of you still felt half dead and as if what had happened in Alexandria was just a nightmare you would wake up from as soon as the alarm clock would ring and rip you out of your sleep. Instead a loud knock on the wooden door ripped you out of your little trance instead, urging your glance first to the door and then to Negan who had just stuffed another shirt into the closet. “Boss, got the sandwiches you asked for”, an unfamiliar male voice followed, easing the annoyance that had flashed for a moment over Negan’s face the knock had elicited. Running his palm over his stubbled chin he steered towards the door with a couple of large steps only to let it fly open in the very next moment. “Well holy smokes, those look fuckin’ great”, Negan chuckled as you could see his glance falling down to the hands of the man which were the only parts visible of him for you on your spot on the bed. Still, you could steal a peak of the sandwiches on the large plate he was carrying that looked almost delicious enough to elicit a small feeling of hunger in you. God, you should be starving if you considered that you had last eaten some breakfast at the infirmary, but the day had left its marks also this part of your mood.  “Alrighty, thanks Randall”, Negan said, grabbing the plate before giving the man a quick nod that send him away as quickly as he had come.  “Now here we go, damn these smell fuckin’ good too”, Negan grumbled as he kicked the door shut with his foot, right before stumbling over to the bed and plopping down next to you as you were just about to shift to its edge. “No no, stay there, we’re eating in bed today”, he said swinging his legs onto the sheets before grinning at you as he pushed the plate closer towards your figure, “The crumbs might dig into our asses tonight, but those fuckers will be worth it. Randall, shit that guy can be a pain in the ass but his sandwiches...damn they’re good.” He chuckled, grabbing one of the sandwiches, some molten cheese already spilling out of the sides before Negan caught with his mouth and took a big bite. You gulped softly as your glance fell from him to the sandwiches. They did look delicious, and they smelled just as great, but strangely  the look and scent that had elicited the small hunger before were now fighting it down. Your stomach seemed to close up to your throat, shutting that part of your body apparently down. “Sweetheart, you need to eat something too...what did you eat at the infirmary this morning? Some cereal? That’s not fucking enough, even after a shit day like this one...and don’t tell me you’re not hungry, won’t let that pass.” He winked at you, trying to lighten the mood even though the sound in his voice was still concerned.  “Just try a little bit, and if not now, hell you can try again later.” You nodded, reaching for one of the slices before biting reluctantly into it. The juice of a tomato immediately spread through your mouth, mixing with the molten cheese that usually would have urged you to sink your teeth into the toast over and over again. But today, you could only take a small bite, swallow, almost force, it down your throat before going for another one, for Negan’s sake. “There ya go”, he said, glimpsing at you as he went for another slice while you still nibbled on your first one. You could get down a second one, but after that, you were done with food for today. The two slices had filled you up like a feast meal would on any other day and even though you told Negan to just treat himself with the rest, he left two more lonely slices on the plate in case you’d get hungry after all. With your face buried in Negan’s chest you glimpsed at the sandwiches that had found their new home on his nightstand, before you closed your eyes with a soft grumble and shifted closer into his warmth. “Hmm?”, you heard Negan hum in response. “Just feeling full”, you mumbled, trying to not whirl everything back up again before Negan let out a thick sigh. “Now the whole truth.” ”I...I just want this day to end”, you mumbled after hesitating for a moment, breathing heavily out as you cuddled closer. ”Mhm...but you don’t really think you’re gonna sleep well all that tensed up, do ya?” ”I’m not in the mood fo-” “Shit, I’m not talkin’ bout fucking. Could figure out that you’re not really up to that after this shit...but do you wanna take a bath? To relax a little?”, he cut you quickly off, even though grabbing your attention just as quickly ,”Got some of those bath bomb thingies. Never used ‘em but we can try it out, huh?” Lifting your head off his chest you glanced at him, nodding softly as your mind swayed for a quick moment off to imagine his idea. Hot water that could finally relax your tense muscles, some soothing scent filling the air and Negan right by your side in the tub, all of it seemed perfect and he was right, you weren’t gonna fall asleep like this. Not with that suspense filled body of yours, not with those thoughts whirling like a tornado through your head. “Sounds good”, you said, watching as the small grin that had remained on his lips grew a little wider. “Perfect, then I’ll get that shit ready”, he chuckled, right before he nodded over to the still open closet ,”Just gonna get those last shirts in here.” Heaving himself out of the bed he strutted back over to the bag and the remaining clothes while you laid back into the pillows, watching him first put away what was left along with the bag, before he then glimpsed with a roguish grin at you as he shut the doors of the closet. “By the way, I really like the sight of you on that bed”, he chuckled biting his lip as he reached up to run his palm over the salt and pepper stubble,”Bet you can’t guess how fucking often I’ve imagined that.” “Mhmm I think I got a good guess though”, you chuckled softly, trying to let him  distract you a little from your ongoing thoughts as you watched him walking grinning over the the bathroom. “Well, then I better get goin’, huh? ‘Cause damn I can’t wait to see ya in that bathtub too!” “Oh hell, what did those fuckers smoke when they were naming this crap”, you heard Negan’s voice boom out of the bathroom only minutes later before he poked his head through the door ,”So you want the Rosy Midnight-shit-dream or the fruity-fuck-surprise?” “Hmm...I take the Rosy Midnight-shit-dream” , you laughed softly, watching as the grin grew on his face before he glanced down to each of the bath bombs in his hands. In his right a mix of blue and lilac swirled around the surface of the bomb, while the one in his left was shining in a bright yellow and orange. “Good choice”, he muttered, raising the yellow one up to his nose before he grimaced slightly “ That other thing here smells like it got dragged through some monkey’s asscrack.” Another small laugh left your lips as you watched him sinking his hand down again while his hazel eyes glimpsed at you. “Y’know when I come back I still wanna see that smile right fucking there”, he chuckled, nodding towards the small smile that was still lingering on your face. He disappeared back into the bathroom just as fast as he had appeared, leaving you still laying on the bed, listening the the soft sound of the streaming water that was beginning to fill the bathtub and the small laughs that left Negan’s lips as soon as you heard the plopping sound of the bath bomb meeting the water. ”Now holy shit, gotta admit, that shit looks fuckin’ awesome”, Negan called out of the room, chuckling thickly in an almost childlike joy before you watched him poking his head back out, “Baby? You comin’? We’re ready to go!”

Stripped off your clothes and with the view of the lilac water that was crowned with white and light blue bubbles right in front of you, you finally found yourself scooting towards the big tub, ever feeling Negan’s hand on your hip as he guided you toward it before you finally took a step inside. The warm water felt blissfully against your skin as soon as you stepped into it, goosebumps rushed over your skin as the warmth began to caress your legs, multiplying as slowly lowered yourself. With a content hum you sunk completely into it, sensing the little bubbles popping against your skin along with the small waves you had elicited that moved against your figure as you got comfortable in the tub. Scooting a little forward you allowed Negan to step in behind you, just enough to plop down, one leg stretching out by our sides at a time until he contently groaned and reached out to you. “C’mere, Sweetheart.” Slowly, you leaned back against his chest, humming softly as soon as his warm and wet skin pressed against yours and his strong arms wrapped around your figure. Exhaling deeply you nuzzled your nose into his neck, trying to shut down while Negan’s fingertips slowly traced up and down your arm and his lips pressed against your forehead. You hadn’t really minded a clock till now, but right now, it was probably 9 pm and around this time, before your Dad found out, you’d usually cook some warm milk up to help Judith sleep when she had some trouble to or would plop down on the sofa and watch some movie with Carl. You’d found the DVDs and a recorder shortly after moving in, buried beneath other old stuff after the former owners had probably abandoned it for Netflix. You’d watched most of the movies and shows already multiple times, still, it was nice from time to time to just shut out whatever was lingering behind the walls and dive into some other worlds. You wouldn’t have that anymore, neither the small moments with Judith, nor the movie nights with Carl. You wouldn’t even get close enough to talk to them anymore, not to mention that you couldn’t imagine Carl being willing to give you any more possibilities after what had happened this midday. ”Baby?”, you suddenly heard Negan ask, ripping you out of your thoughts. ”Hmm?”  ”You just got damn tense.” You sighed, feeling how Negan’s glance burned into you, probably filled with concern while you tried to keep yours from filling with tears again. Unsure what to exactly say you just raised your head a little from his shoulder, enough to glimpse just slightly at him and catch the way his eyes were wandering over your face. “I was just...I was just thinking about what I usually did with Judith...and Carl around this time...I just- I didn’t want to fall back but it just keeps popping up in my head”, you gulped, your glance switching to the softly lilac colored water and the small bubbles that drifted over it. “It’s okay, it’s completely fucking okay. Thoughts do what the hell they wanna do. Bounce around like cocky little motherfuckers no matter what you do”, he mumbled, quirking the corners of his lips a little up in an attempt to cheer you up. You tried to let it work on you as one of his wet hands reached up and caressed his rough thumb over your cheek bone, before it came to a stop as he leaned down just enough in to peck your lips. ”Lean forward”, he mumbled against them, remaining close until you rose your eyebrows questioning, ”What?” ”Just lean a bit forward. I’ll do the rest. Just gonna try to get you to think ‘bout something else.” Slowly, you nodded, doing what he asked you to do as you leaned forward, propping your elbows onto your thighs as you felt Negan shifting a little through the water as well. Seconds later you could feel his large hands running up your back, stopping for a short moment at your neck to circle his thumbs over the sensitive skin before reaching up to your loosely tied up hair. Diving his fingers into your hair he began to fumble on the tie, grunting as it seemed to make one big of a stand against him. “Fuck, why are those things always so fuckin stuck in there”, he groaned with a chuckle, trying to move his fingertips deeper into your hair as you first felt a grin growing on your lips again. “Need help?” “Nah, baby. This man ain’t gonna lose against a fuckin’ hair tie”, he grumbled stubbornly, fumbling a little longer until the hair tie finally gave in and let it slowly move out of your hair, though not without a couple more curses. “Fucker”, Negan grumbled with another thick laugh as you watched him tossing the tie towards the sink before diving his fingers back into your hair. Slowly, they  begun caressing over your scalp, before stroking through your hair just the way he knew you liked it. Humming you closed your eyes, trying to let his touches work on you and let them push the thoughts that were still whirling through your head away. ���Thought you weren’t in the mood...sounds like your pussy is becoming cream fuckin’ city”, Negan chuckled, moving his fingers a little more towards your neck just to let their tips wander lightly over the sensitive skin. “You know I like this”, you mumbled back, still with your eyes closed at the feathery caresses seemed to give off an even bigger effect on your body. “Oh hell yeah I do”, he laughed lowly, playing a little more with your hair until his hands moved over your shoulders and back and slowly made you relax. The thoughts seemed to flow out of your mind, at least most of them while some last ones kept lingering in the back of your head, not much to your surprise. Still, you could let Negan relax you, untense your muscles as his hands ran over you, his thumbs circled over the knots until they loosened and his fingertips caressed you until you felt like you were melting right there and then underneath his soothing touch.

“Better?”, his voice rasped as you finally leaned back against his warm chest and felt his arms wrapping a little tighter around you as soon as you settled against him. “Yeah, a lot better.” “Knew my magic hands could help ya”, he chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead before it got quiet for a moment and you just closed your eyes and cuddled a little deeper into his embrace. With your eyelids shut, everything around you didn’t feel all too new, at least not as new and unfamiliar as it did when you opened them. It almost felt like the bathtub in the little hideout of yours and Negan, the house in the middle of the woods. You could almost smell the soap that had always lingered on the edge of the tub, the one Negan had found god knows where and had brought it to your getaway along with other supplies just a few weeks after you had first discovered it. It had that unobtruive scent, not one that filled the whole bathroom as soon as you stepped foot in it, but enough to rise up your nose when you laid in the tub or felt Negan running it over your body. You couldn’t even specifiy what exactly it smelled like, probably a mix of lavender with other flowers and some wooden scents, either way it always relaxed you as soon as you could sense it. And now, it was made up by your mind, only barely crossing the threshold for you to smell it and give you the illusion of being in your own little home with Negan. Your own little home.  Well, that was the Sanctuary now, wasn’t it? Besides the difference that you could cross the little and replace it with huge. The house was kind of a relict of the time you kept your relationship secret at all costs, which was now obviously over, and it had given you the possibility to be undisturbed that you had no where else, which was now over too. Maybe some would say to just drop the house now that it had no obvious use anymore, but hell, you couldn’t do that, not now and probably never. You just didn’t know if this counted for Negan as well, he wanted this here to be the place for both of you, he always had.  “Can we still drive from time to time to our house?”, you finally mumbled, a little afraid of the answer as you could feel Negan halting for a moment. “It’s just...Alexandria was always my place and this here yours...that was the only place that was...y’know, just ours.” “Was”, he mumbled, though you could hear the softness in his voice before he cleared his throat as he felt you tensing slightly. “No, but I get it. ‘Course we can go back there, good to have a little vacation spot, huh? Even in this shitshow”, he said, letting the small burden fall off your shoulders as you raised your head a little and smiled softly at him. “Okay...really glad ‘bout that”, you mumbled, glancing at him as he slowly nodded and leaned in to caress his lips for a moment over yours before stopping for a moment. “But the ‘was’ was honest...I want you to feel home here. Fuck, I know this doesn’t work just from one moment to another, but someday.” “I know...I will. I had to live in in Alexandria too and it worked”, you said, glancing up into the hazel eyes that wandered over your face, “And I got you here so I will feel home too, someday.” Negan nodded slowly, keeping his eyes fixed on yours until he pulled you back into his embrace and cradled you against his wet chest, humming deeply as he pressed another kiss to your temple. You stayed a little longer cuddled into his figure, trying to fight the demons in his mind until the bathwater slowly began to turn cold. 

Wrapped up in fluffy bathrobes you finally found yourself crawling back onto the    large bed and falling into Negan’s wide open arms. Purring lowly he reached out to one of your legs, grabbing it to pull it over his hip and hook it around it, allowing you to huddle closer into his side. “Can’t wait to give this bed a little housewarming party with you”, he grumbled with a chuckle as his hand ran up your leg, slipping down the bathrobe to caress his rough fingertips over your hip. “Mhmm I can imagine that”, you responded, nuzzling your nose into the warmth of his neck and wrapped your arm securely around his torso. “Same thing counts for the tub...just for the record, I was always just one fuckin touch away from gettin’ rock hard...we gotta give that one a try too when we’re in the fuckin’ mood for some wet damn fun.” ”Yeah...I could feel that”, you mumbled with a small laugh back, feeling how a thicker chuckle rumbled through his chest as his fingertips continued to move in circling movements over your skin. Breathing deeply in and out you took his scent in as soon as his voice and laugh hushed and got replaced by his deeper becoming embrace, supporting you by your tries to keep the calmness that had slipped into your body by now right where it was. “Y’know tomorrow is new day. We’ll get you checked over at Carsons just to be sure that fuckery of the accident is gone for damn good and then, hell then you can start fresh here, I can show you ‘round, just get you settled in a little more. Sounds good?” “Yeah”, you nodded, closing your eyes as the warmth of his hand that settled onto your skin made you melt a little deeper into his embrace, while he pulled some of the soft sheets over your bodies that perfectly hugged your figures and caressed along your skin while you dove a little closer towards finding rest in a peaceful sleep. “Baby?” “Hmm?” “I love you, just wanted to say that again”, he mumbled roughly against your temple, brushing his salt and pepper stubble softly against your skin as his head rested against yours ,”So damn fuckin’ much.” “I love you too”, you mumbled back, cuddling just a little closer as your lips quirked softly up before you hugged him a little tighter back, “And thanks for doing all this to cheer me up...don’t know if I could show it so much but it really helped.” Negan’s lips curled up against your skin for a moment, before it flattened as a thick breath let his chest rise beneath your for a second while he held you a bit tighter, yet hesitated to answer at first. “Least I can do...really. Think you shouldn’t be the one thanking me...should be the other damn way ‘round...the whole armada of fuckin obstacles and shit you took on just to be with my old damn ass...I-”, he stopped, struggling with a loss of words before he instead of trying anew, leaned deeper in to press a warm kiss to your temple and hugged you for a moment even tighter, switching words with touches. Finally, you closed your eyes, still feeling how Negan’s chest softly rose and fell beneath your head while his comforting scent and his soothing warmth continued to lull you in, and keep your thoughts and painful flashbacks of the day at bay - for now.

tagging:

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[andtails]

A Prelude to Chaos Control - Chapter 4: In the City

Click here to start from the beginning. You can also read this story on FanFiction.Net or Archive of Our Own.

***** 

“I sure am beat.”

Sonic sat in Knuckles’ modest kitchen, resting his legs up on the table as he chugged a blueberry sports drink, sweat rolling down his fur.

“You said it,” Knuckles replied, entering the room with a training towel around his neck. “I haven’t had that much of a workout in a while.”

“Maybe I should come by more often then?”

“Just not too much.” The echidna and hedgehog chuckled while continuing their banter, relaxing after a few hours of sparring in the clearing surrounding Knuckles’ home.

“I wonder how Tails is doin’?” Sonic asked himself, standing up to get a good view of the Master Emerald shrine from the window. Sonic watched as Tails continued his work, typing away on his laptop, which he had wired to multiple points on the large gem.

“Do you think he’ll actually be able to pull it off?” Knuckles asked, peering out of the kitchen window alongside the blue hedgehog, taking a swig of his cherry sports beverage.

“Knowing my little bro, I have confidence that he’ll accomplish whatever he sets his mind to.”

“But still,” Knuckles interjected, “the thought that one can simply detect chaos energy with some machine seems a bit farfetched, don’t you think?”

Sonic turned his head toward the red echidna. “I don’t pretend to know much about all this science stuff. All I really know is that the emeralds can provide a significant power boost in combat, and finding a way to obtain them faster would place us at a great advantage. If anyone in this world can solve this puzzle, it’ll be my lil’ bro.”

“You sure seem to have a lot of confidence in him.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Sonic replied, his face tightening as he sat back down at the table. “Ever since we met, Tails has gotten me out of countless jams and helped thwart Eggman’s schemes time and time again. I don’t think I’d be here today without his genius mind…or his friendship.” Sonic placed his arms on the table, looking up at the red echidna. “Yet despite this, he still places a lot of pressure on himself to be perfect, and he takes any mistake as a personal failure.”

Sonic’s voice began to shake as a slight hint of moisture formed over his eyes. “If I had one wish in this world, it’d be to help my little bro, but I just don’t know how, ya know?”

Knuckles, not used to consoling a friend or having these sorts of interpersonal conversations, stood there and looked at the hedgehog. He observed as Sonic turned his attention back to the window, watching the orange kitsune working diligently on his experiment.

This is so unlike Sonic. He must really be stressing out if he came to me, of all people, to talk about his feelings.

“But, what am I sayin’?” Sonic said in a joyful manner, a smile appearing on his face as he got up from his seat. “I’m sure that Tails’ll get the detector working, and we’ll have all the emeralds back in no time.”

“Ahh, okay, then…” Knuckles wasn’t sure how to respond to Sonic’s rapid mood swing.

“Why don’t we go check on him?” Sonic offered as he began walking to the door, taking a last gulp of his drink before throwing the bottle in the trash can along the way.

“Hey, you know we recycle here, right?” Knuckles pointed to the recycling bin next to the garbage can. The recycling container was labeled with three arrows that formed a triangle.

“Oops, sorry man.” Sonic ran a hand through his quills in embarrassment before fishing the bottle out of the trash and placing it in the proper bin. As he headed to the exit, Knuckles placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I may not be the best at this sort of thing, but if you ever need to talk some more, I’m always here.” Sonic looked over his shoulder and gave the red echidna a thumbs up and a smile before leaving the cabin.

*****

Tails stared at his laptop, tinkering with a software application that he had programmed to help analyze the unique energy readings emitted by the emeralds. He carefully studied the monitor, double-checking the software parameters while munching on his box of Mobian Scout™ mint chocolate cookies, allowing dark crumbs to fall onto his keyboard.

“All right, here goes nothing.” Tails clicked a few remaining keys before wiping his face clean of cookie crumbs and following the trail of wires leading from his laptop to the Master Emerald, which stuck to the mystical gem with suction cup-like energy readers. The objective was for the emerald’s chaos energy to transmit through the cables and reach the laptop, where Tails’ application would convert the readings into digestible data for further analysis.

Tails watched as the Master Emerald began to glow with a green aura as streaks of static covered the large gem. Meanwhile, the laptop was beginning to hum louder than usual, its small fans spinning faster to prevent the computer from overheating. The program displayed lines upon lines of numerical data as points on a continuously expanding chart shot up and down.

“It’s working!” The orange kitsune waved a fist in the air in excitement before grounding himself back to the task at hand, anxiously dividing his attention between his laptop and the Master Emerald. It was at this time that Sonic and Knuckles arrived back to the shrine, climbing up the stairs to greet the young fox.

“Hey Tails, how’s it goin’?” the blue hedgehog asked, waving at his younger brother. Instead of waiting for an answer, though, he shifted his focus to the glowing emerald, taking a step back in surprise. Knuckles swiftly stepped sideways to avoid Sonic’s sudden movement before noticing the emerald himself.

“Tails, what’re you doing!” Knuckles yelled, approaching the mystical gem with anger in his eyes. “Can’t you see the Master Emerald is in pain?”

“Huh?” Tails looked at the red echidna in confusion. “What do you mean? I’m only gathering data on the emerald’s chaos energy.” As if not hearing Tails’ explanation, Knuckles approached the gem intending to remove the cables. Before he could, though, a bolt of static shocked his hand, causing the tough echidna to step back, his face tensing up as he growled in pain.

“Knuckles, are you hurt?” Tails asked, approaching him with an outstretched hand.

“No, I’m fine.” Knuckles turned away, tending to his bruised hands before shooting a glance back at the orange kitsune. “So, are you gonna stop this madness?”

“I really don’t know what you mean, I was just—” Tails’ explanation was cut short by the static growing in size around the Master Emerald, the gem’s glow now a piercing light that blinded the trio as the shrine began to shake under their feet.

“Tails,” Sonic said, balancing on one foot as he swung his arms to steady himself. “You gotta stop this!”

“Right.” Tails flew over to his laptop, as walking was now out of the question, and pressed a few keys. As the application closed, Tails looked in bewilderment as the Master Emerald continued to glow violently, the intensity of the static getting stronger. “No, this is impossible! The reaction should’ve subsided by now!”

In a desperate attempt to remedy the situation, Tails tried yanking the cables off the emerald, theorizing that the gem was still transmitting data to the computer, even with the program shut down. Despite his attempts, the suction cups remained in place, firmly rooted to the Master Emerald. Tails moved closer to the green gem, still yanking at the cables, with one in either hand, making no progress.

“Why did I have to fasten these so tight?” Tails struggled to say as he used as much force as his little body could muster to remove the cords. As he gave a final tug, a steady stream of static pulsed out of the Master Emerald, striking Tails on both hands, covering his body in a wave of light.

“Ahhhhh!”

To Sonic and Knuckles’ horror, the orange kitsune remained frozen in place for several seconds, glowing brightly to give them a view of the skeletal outline beneath his skin, before falling to his knees. Tails’ body tumbled sideways, facing the Master Emerald, as he fell out of consciousness.  

*****

Tails slowly opened his eyes, blinded by the mid-afternoon sun pouring through the bedroom window of Knuckles’ cabin, to find himself in bed. Sonic was staring intently into his eyes, shifting in his chair as he noticed his younger brother regaining consciousness.

“Tails!” Sonic grabbed his hand. The young fox winced at the pain in his palms. “Ohh, sorry little bro.”

The kitsune raised his head up and looked down at his hands, gloves replaced by white bandages. He attempted to make fists with his hands, but while he was able to successfully move his fingers, pain still shot up his hand, tears forming in his eyes as his lips trembled. Drying his eyes with his right arm, he looked at the concerned hedgehog sitting next to him on the side of the bed.

“How long was I out?”

“About two hours.” Sonic pointed at a clock on the wall, which read two in the afternoon.

“I see,” Tails replied, resting his eyes for a bit, allowing his hands to drop down to his belly, the position that seemed the most comfortable to his injured paws. “And the Master Emerald?”

“The giant rock is fine,” Sonic replied, a small smile returning to his face. “Knuckles is tending to it now. You should’ve seen the look on his face when you got shocked, though. He was so scared!”

“If he was frightened, I can’t imagine how you reacted!”

The two brothers laughed in unison.

“I’m just glad you’re okay, big guy.”

Sonic peered down at the injured fox as he rustled his hair. Tails looked up at the blue hedgehog, wondering if he was imagining the moisture that appeared to be forming in Sonic’s eyes, as if he were about to cry, or if it was merely an optical illusion from the sun’s reflection.

“I’m…sorry…” Tails said, looking down at his palms again, his fingers twitching as feeling returned to his hands.

“Hey, you’ve got nothin’ to apologize for,” Sonic replied, stroking the back of the fox’s head.

“Did I really cause pain to the Master Emerald?” Tails looked back up at the blue hedgehog, tears welling up in his eyes.

“I don’t know for sure,” Sonic replied, holding Tails’ hands, delicately enough to not cause pain, “but nobody believes that you did it on purpose.” The blue hedgehog’s calming voice and rational response helped cool his nerves, fresh tears no longer building up in his eyes. The young kitsune’s face loosened as he looked out the window.

“I’m sure Knuckles is upset with me, huh.” Tails watched as the red echidna shined the Master Emerald, as if attempting to restore the mystical gem after being sullied by his experimentation.

“He was much more concerned with your well-being than that stupid rock,” Sonic replied. “But if you think you’re up to it, we can get you out of bed and walk around, maybe go see ‘im too.”

Tails wiggled his toes to confirm his feet weren’t asleep before pulling himself out of bed. The hedgehog helped steady the orange fox as he placed his feet on the ground before letting him go. Tails wobbled a bit, grabbing onto Sonic’s shoulder before regaining his composure. After releasing him once more, waiting several seconds to make sure he could stand on his own, the young kitsune was able to keep his balance without anyone there to prop him up.

“Now let’s see if you can walk.” Sonic stepped out of the bedroom, beckoning Tails to follow him. Instead, he lost himself in thought, no longer in the company of his big brother.

I don’t understand…how did I survive such a shock with little more than burnt hands? Surely the intensity of the electricity should’ve paralyzed me, or worse…

The young kitsune stood there, pondering his miraculous recovery, his finger to his chin as he continued looking out the window, the sun warming his orange fur.

“Is something wrong?” Sonic asked, poking his head back into the bedroom to check on his little brother.

“No, I’m fine.” Wishing to delay no longer, Tails moved his legs, still wobbly as if his nervous system were still rebooting. Slowly taking a few more steps, however, the orange fox regained the ability to move normally, briskly following Sonic out of the cabin.

The bright sun, light wind, and refreshing aroma of the outdoor air seemed to calm Tails’ mind. He breathed deeply, allowing the air to escape his lungs slowly as he looked across the pristine clearing. He took it all in, forgetting about his injuries and scientific failures for a few moments before turning his eyes to the Master Emerald Shrine, where Knuckles was still shining the large gem with a white rag.

Not wanting to push his luck, but still eager to test his body’s limits after recovering from the electric shock, Tails jogged toward the shrine. Deciding that his legs were okay, and his balance unhindered, he began to spin his namesakes to increase his speed. Thankfully, his tails, or the rest of his body, didn’t seem to be drastically impacted by the accident, just another mystery that rivaled the age-old question of how he was able to rotate his appendages like helicopter propellers in the first place.

Sonic watched as Tails picked up speed.

Man, that little guy recovers fast!

Meeting each other at the foot of the shrine, the two brothers walked up the stone steps to greet Knuckles, who had since dropped his rag and sat down for a break.

“How are you doing, Knuckles?” Tails asked, his voice shaky. He was nervous to confront him after the incident with his Master Emerald.

“Not too bad,” the red echidna replied, looking up at the young kitsune from his seat on the ground. “I should be asking you the same thing.”

“Oh, I’m fine.” Tails smiled as he placed a hand behind his head before pulling it away, forgetting that his palms were more sensitive than usual.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier,” Knuckles said, standing back on his feet. “I just hope you realize why I got so upset.”

“No, no, I should be the one apologizing for hurting the Master Emerald. I feel like I deserve the punishment I received.”

“That’s not true. I may be the guardian of the Master Emerald, sworn to protect it at all costs, but that doesn’t mean your pain was deserved. Besides, I’m sure the Master Emerald recognized you were not actually trying to cause harm.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Tails itched his muzzle. “Hey, Knuckles…does the Master Emerald have…sentience?”

“What does that mean?” Knuckles raised his hand to his chin, attempting to decipher this new word.

“You know…feelings…thoughts…like you and me.”

“Ohh, I see. Well…yes, the Master Emerald does have feelings, and I can use my connection to the emerald to sense these emotions, but it has never spoken to me in words. I felt the emerald’s pain during your experiment, but it didn’t say that you were causing it…it didn’t need to.”

The young fox approached the Master Emerald once more, the gem glistening in the mid-afternoon sun. “If you can understand me, I just want you to know that…I’m sorry...” He placed an injured paw on the large gem as he looked down at the base of the emerald. Surprisingly, his hand didn’t hurt from touching the mystical gem.

Knuckles and Tails stood there in silence. Only the rustling of the wind and the chirping of distant flickys could be heard as they lost themselves in thought. Sonic, who was on the other side of the Master Emerald, came back around and approached his younger brother.

“Hey Tails, you’re gonna wanna take a look at this.” The fox looked up and followed the blue hedgehog to the other side of the shrine, a charred laptop resting on the ground.

At first, the orange kitsune blankly stared at the damaged laptop, coming to the realization that all his hard work, not to mention his injuries, were for nothing, until he realized that not all hope was lost. The fox turned to his smartwatch, pressing a few buttons to reveal a projector-like display that floated over Tails’ wrist, allowing him to interface with its menu by swiping with his hands.

“Aha!” Tails raised a fist in the air and jumped for joy. “This is why I always run back-ups! My laptop saved all the Master Emerald readings to the cloud in real-time. I should be able to work with this.”

“That’s great news!” Sonic said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Tails looked up at his older brother with a smile, content that the work he undertook, and the inadvertent risks that he put the Master Emerald through, paid off in the end.

Their celebration, however, was cut short as the projector’s image of numerical chaos energy data shifted to the face of a small, serious-looking Mobian.

“Hello, come in, Tails,” said a gravely, deep voice from the other end of the call. “This is General Pitliff.” Sonic and company saw him talking into a headset covering his large, gray ears, a green hard hat and military fatigues blanketing his small, furry, puffy body. If not for his stern expression, the frown on his face, and his petrifying stare, the chinchilla would have almost looked cute.

“Listen up,” Pitliff continued, placing a small paw over his exposed ear. “Robotnik is up to his dirty schemes again.” He paused as a car exploded in the background. “We need you and Sonic here to defeat and, hopefully, apprehend the evil doctor.”

“We’re on it,” Tails replied, giving Pitliff a salute with his arm.

“I knew we could count on you.” Pitliff entered a few digits into his smartwatch. “All right, I just sent you the coordinates, the heart of Seaside City. We’ll fend him off until you get here, at which point we will divert our focus to assisting the injured while you take care of Robotnik.”

“Understood,” Tails said as the general ended the call. He turned his attention to Sonic and Knuckles. “Alright, let’s go and kick Eggman’s butt!”

“Hold on a second.” Sonic raised his arms, signaling the young fox to pause as he was about to fly down the stone steps of the shrine. “Is it such a good idea for you to go rushing into battle with your injuries?”

Tails stared at the bandages on his hands. He winced in pain as he attempted to form tight fists.

“I’m…I’m alright, Sonic…honest.”

“I dunno, little buddy. I’m not so sure you’re in a condition to fight.”

Tails stared at his older brother, a look of disbelief appearing on his face. “But I’m your pilot. We can defeat Eggman together, like we always do. And besides, now that Eggman is back, we don’t know what he is planning, or if he has any Chaos Emeralds.”

Sonic looked up at the blue sky while tapping a finger against his chin, pondering Tails’ plea to help.

I am concerned for the little guy, especially with his injuries, and I could just fly the Tornado 2 by myself, but that’d absolutely crush his self-confidence.

“As long as you stay in the plane, I’ll allow it.” The hedgehog folded his arms and lowered his head, closing his eyes as if in deep thought. “I care too much about you to put you in harm’s way.” Sonic’s voice cracked as he looked up at Tails, a smile returning to the blue blur’s face. “But if you promise to keep yourself safe, we could definitely use the air support.”

Tails could’ve sworn that the hedgehog’s eyes were starting to moisten.

He really is concerned for me, huh? Well, all the more reason to make him proud!

Sonic raised a gloved pinkie finger, and the young fox grabbed hold of it with his own bandaged pinkie finger.

“Pinkie swear!” they said in unison.

“Hey guys, not to interrupt your conversation here, but shouldn’t we be heading to Seaside City?”

“You’re right, Knuckles.” Sonic replied. “Let’s go!”

With that, Team Sonic dashed through the clearing and the wooded path, making their way back to the Tornado 2, untouched from their arrival earlier that day.

Tails hopped in the cockpit as Sonic and Knuckles planted their feet on the left and right wings, respectively.

“You sure you’re gonna be comfortable leaving the Master Emerald behind?” Sonic asked as Tails readied for takeoff.

“I don’t like being away from the shrine, yes, but a few hours should be okay. Eggman is the biggest threat to the Master Emerald after all, so I’m still defending the Master Emerald, even if I’m away from the island.”

“I guess,” Sonic replied, shrugging his shoulders. “Hey Tails, are we about ready yet?”

“Almost.” Tails’ fingers were still numb from his injuries, lightly burning as he twisted the knobs and pulled the levers on his control panel. “I know what should make it better!” He reached into his glove compartment to find a new pair of white gloves, replacing the ones destroyed during the incident. “These should provide some padding to help dull the pain.”

He slipped the gloves on gently, careful not to undo the bandages around his hands, before bringing the biplane to life. He spun it around, twisting it 180 degrees on the grassy runway, and rolled forward, picking up enough speed to take off and retract the aircraft’s wheels. The young kitsune looked down at his gloved hands, now lifting the plane as it brought the gang up to a higher elevation.

“Yeah, I think these gloves’ll do nicely.” He grinned to himself as he glanced at either wing, making sure that his two companions didn’t fall into the ocean below. Next, he clicked a few buttons on his smartwatch to transmit General Pitliff’s coordinates to the Tornado 2’s built-in GPS. “Alright!” Tails said to himself. “If we go a little bit faster, we should reach our destination in about 15 minutes.”

And with that, Tails cranked up the speed, the hedgehog and echidna wobbling a bit before regaining their composure, as Team Sonic soared through the sky, on their way to confront Eggman once more.

*****

Seaside Hill was a tropical paradise, sparsely populated by Mobians and primarily visited by tourists eager to enjoy the pleasant waters, warm sun, and ancient architecture the getaway had to offer. Over the years, a city formed nearby, although not close enough to disturb its natural wildlife or pollute its pristine waters. As time passed, the city expanded further away from the coastline that made the region famous. Eventually, a multi-lane interstate highway was constructed through the heart of the city. Tall buildings were developed to house various multi-national corporations that established their roots in the sprawling economically lush business district. New suburban communities seemed to sprout up like wildfire, eager to fill the residential needs of workers who wanted to live away from the hustle and bustle of city life. Indeed, the city was growing at a rapid rate.

The perfect target for Eggman’s nefarious schemes.

As Team Sonic neared the coordinates provided to them by General Pitliff, they spotted the sight and smell of smoke filling the air and a large figure hovering high above the city, higher than the tall buildings of downtown as if waiting for a new challenger to appear from the skies. As the biplane got closer, they got a better view of this entity: a large, silver, mechanical raptor with long talons, a wingspan the length of a semitruck, a razor-sharp beak, and menacing red eyes that glared at the party.

“Why hello there, you miserable pests!” The sound of Eggman’s bellowing voice echoed out of the raptor’s beak. Now approaching within striking distance of the creation, Tails began to circle it, hoping to learn of the evil doctor’s intentions while developing a plan for taking down the raptor.

“All right, Eggman,” Tails said, speaking into his headset, allowing his voice to be heard through external speakers. “What are you up to this time?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, my furry little friend.” The robot hovered in place as the biplane made its second lap around. “All right, I’ll get right to the point. Hand over whatever Chaos Emeralds you may have in your possession or else I’ll continue terrorizing Seaside City with my Elemental Egg Eagle!” As if on cue, the mechanical eagle let out a deafening cry that sounded nearly identical to the real thing. The orange kitsune’s muscles tensed at the menacing sight before him, but Sonic didn’t seem too worried.

“Elemental whatchamacallit?” Sonic asked, placing his hands on his knees while laughing. “You need to build a robot to help you name these things because you’re lacking in the creativity department!”

“I’ll have you know that it took several days to come up with the perfect name!”

“Doesn’t sound like it to me,” Knuckles replied, pounding his fists together in anticipation for the battle ahead. Sonic followed suit, stretching his arms forward while still maintaining his balance on the unstable wing at his feet.

“Let’s say we show Eggman a thing or two.”

Not waiting for a response from the red echidna, Sonic leapt forward, rolling into a ball as he charged toward the robotic eagle. Knuckles did the same, gliding towards their foe, his arms outstretched in front of him. The two allies made contact, but they ricocheted off the mechanical beast, not even leaving a scratch. Tails expertly caught the two with his biplane, one on either wing, as he continued circling around the eagle.

“Now it’s my turn!” Tails declared, pressing a button on his steering wheel to release a torrent of bullets. Unfortunately, these also bounced off the robotic beast, seemingly having no impact on their foe.

“Wooahhooohoohooo.” Eggman’s jolly laughter was almost as deafening as the eagle’s cry. “Surely you didn’t think that such trivial attacks would stop the Elemental Egg Eagle!”

By this point, Sonic and Knuckles had recovered from their first attack against the raptor and tried again, both launching off the biplane’s wings simultaneously. This time, however, the eagle dodged the attack, soaring upward with a flap of its wings. The blue and red blurs collided, just hard enough to throw Sonic out of his spherical form, as they plummeted to the city below.

Once again, Tails jumped into action, putting his plane into a harrowing nosedive as he swooped down to capture the heroes on the leftmost wing.

“Aha! You fell right into my trap!” Eggman yelled from above.

Tails looked behind him to see what was, perhaps, his worst nightmare, the very thing that he feared most: lightning. The bright streak approached the biplane, originating from the eagle’s beak, hitting the tail of the plane. Electricity sparked along the back of the aircraft, but it didn’t reach the cockpit or the wings thanks to the weather-proofing shock absorbers installed throughout the Tornado 2.

“You’re gonna have to try harder than that, Eggman!” Tails yelled. Before the young fox could reverse his nosedive, however, an emergency alarm rang from the plane. He looked behind once more to discover the fire scorching the plane’s tail. “Damn it!”

“Woah, Tails. Language!” Sonic yelled as he and the red echidna clasped onto the wing, their legs dangling upward as the plane careened to the ground below. Tails ignored this comment, instead trying to steady the plane for an emergency landing.

“Bad news, guys. Looks like we’re gonna have to take this battle to the city.” As Tails announced his plan into his headset, he frantically looked around the cityscape for a suitable place to land his biplane. The tall buildings scattered throughout the downtown area directly below were, perhaps, suitable for a helicopter landing, but he needed a long strip of road to safely land his aircraft without any casualties.

The kitsune found an abandoned stretch of the interstate, a section just long enough for him to land the plane and allow it to roll to a safe stop. Wasting no time, the fox took the plane out of its nosedive, allowing the Tornado 2 to lose altitude as a steadier pace. He steered the plane, positioning it horizontally with the highway below.

“Brace yourselves!” Tails yelled, deploying the wheels as his friends regained their composure from the nosedive. They bent their knees and balanced on the biplane’s wing like a surfboard, using their hands to keep themselves from falling off as the aircraft’s wheels made contact with the cement surface below. As the plane slowly lost speed, the orange kitsune dodged a few burning police cars before the aircraft ground to a halt, almost colliding with a school bus that obstructed the entire stretch of the interstate.

“Great landing, Tails!” Sonic called out, giving the pilot a thumbs up, which Tails returned before opening the hatch protecting the cockpit.

“Woah, hold up there, cowboy.” Sonic looked up at the cockpit, his younger brother about to jump out. “Remember what you promised earlier.” It took a few moments for Tails to recall that he committed to staying in the plane.

“But I can fight, Sonic! You’re gonna need all the help y—”

“Pinkie…swear.” Sonic interrupted the fox’s argument with a stern voice, staring sharply at the pilot. “I’m sorry, but with your injuries, you’d only be a liability on the battlefield. Come on, Knuckles.”

The two jumped off the wing and ran down the interstate, approaching the mechanical raptor that had since descended and hovered in place a short distance away. Sonic dashed off too quickly to see the tears welling-up in Tails’ eyes. He tried to dry them with his gloved hands, but his emotional agony seemed to exacerbate his physical pain, causing him to groan in discomfort. He slumped in his chair, looking down at his feet as tears rolled down his muzzle, dripping to his legs.

“A liability, huh? Is that what you truly think?”

The young fox was too emotionally blinded to realize that Sonic’s comment was narrowly referencing the situation at hand – his injuries making him a more vulnerable target – instead of a poignant attack against his overall usefulness.

“No…” Tails’ voice was scratchy as he spoke through his tears. “I can do anything I set my mind to. I can help you defeat Eggman and prove that I’m no liability.” Drying his tears with his left arm, he jumped out of the aircraft. The fire on the plane’s tail extinguished itself naturally, so the young fox didn’t need to worry about further damage to his prized biplane.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?” Tails said to the Tornado 2, patting its metallic body as if to reassure the aircraft that he’d return safely.

He turned around and ran toward his friends, activating his namesakes for extra speed. The trip only took him a few minutes, even while dodging the debris scattered along the road. Hiding behind a destroyed car to remain undiscovered by Eggman, Tails peeked around the vehicle to find the evil doctor giving one of his famous, albeit annoying monologues.

“Isn’t my Elemental Egg Eagle an eggzzellent invention? It has the speed and agility of a raptor with an impenetrable body and the ability to produce not one…not two…but THREE elemental attacks. As you’ve already witnessed, electricity is one of them. Want to guess what else we have in store?” The eagle, resting its mechanical talons on the cement road, opened its beak while charging a new attack. “Get a load of this!”

The mechanical slave unleashed a stream of fire in Sonic and Knuckles’ direction. Sonic dodged with relative ease while Knuckles left little room for comfort. After jumping to the side, he noticed a warm feeling above his head. A few seconds later, he realized that his fur was on fire. He ducked and rolled around frantically to put out the miniature blaze, leaving a patchy burnt spot near his dreadlocks.

“Ahaha, Knuckles…you should look at yourself in the mirror!” The blue hedgehog laughed as he pointed at the red echidna, unable to control his emotions as Knuckles’ anger grew hotter than the flames he just extinguished. Suffice it to say: unlike Sonic, Knuckles didn’t chuckle.

“This is no laughing matter, you oaf!”

Little did Sonic know, Knuckles was correct. Eggman used this opportunity for the eagle to recharge, its beak gaping open as it gathered the energy necessary to release another flamethrower attack. Sonic quickly stopped laughing and braced himself for another dodge, Knuckles doing the same. Before the bird could launch its attack, however, an orange kitsune ran towards it, passing Sonic and Knuckles by as he held a dummy ring bomb in his outstretched hand.

“Get a load of this you fiend!”

Tails threw the ring directly at the eagle’s beak, landing in its mouth and falling down its throat. The machine’s eyes grew wide, realizing that a foreign object was obstructing the elemental weapons housed in its throat. It tried to gag it out, but it was no good; the bomb stuck itself to the first surface that it touched, making removal almost impossible in the short period of time before detonation. The eagle put its head down, as if conceding defeat, before the beak exploded, shooting shrapnel everywhere as the eagle collapsed to the ground, its wing twitching as if it were a real bird on its last legs.

“Noooooo! Curse that meddlesome fox! Get up, you worthless bucket of bolts!” Miraculously, the eagle obeyed; only its mouth and beak were damaged, so the rest of the mechanical raptor was still intact. The hole in the bird’s face left by the explosion revealed the three elemental cannons that deployed their respective attacks. The two on either side were too damaged to be of use, but the middle weapon was in working order.

“Freeze that fox back to the ice age, or else you’ll be joining your brothers in the junkyard.” Not needing to be threatened again, the eagle began charging the attack, a white mist forming around the hole in its face.

“Now fire!” At a speed even faster than its flame attack, the injured eagle released a stream of ice. The young fox had no time to dodge; the attack hit him directly in the chest, launching him back as the cold stream followed him, the green Chaos Emerald slipping from his utility belt and landing on the cement below.

“Not…the emerald…” Tails struggled to say as his body flew through the air, passing Sonic and Knuckles in the opposite direction before colliding with the side of a school bus. The ice continued its onslaught against his furry body, entombing him completely in a frozen chunk of ice against the bus, save for his head and a single arm.

“Ahhh, I’m…stuck…” Tails tried to wiggle himself free, but he lacked the energy and power to break the ice.

“Tails!” Sonic ran back to him, concern in his eyes as he approached his younger brother. “I’m gonna get you out of this.”

“No…Sonic…” Tails said between labored breaths, his body experiencing a tremendous amount of pain from the cold penetrating his fur and piercing the skin below. He used his head and eyes to turn Sonic’s attention to his free hand, a dummy ring bomb around his wrist. “Take…this bomb…and throw it into…its gullet. That…should weaken it…enough for you…and Knuckles to…bring it…do—”  

Tails spoke no more, dangling from the side of the truck.

“Tails…” Sonic placed a hand on his furry face, unresponsive to his gentle touch.

“Tails!”

*****

Click here to read chapter 5!

#sonic the hedgehog #Miles Tails Prower #tails #Tails the Fox #fan fiction #Fan #fiction #Fic #Sonic X #action #Adventure #brotherly

[id-on-parade]

A New Day

This will probably be a pretty long post. I’m gonna put the positives at the front, then i’m gonna exorcise some demons from my mind. This exorcism is to remove them from my head, not to put them into someone else’s, so i’ll go ahead and put an end to positives notice, and i guess read on at your own risk.

I am currently waiting on a list of approved Mental Health care providers in my area from my insurance company, I’ve just gotten off the phone with them and they said they would send it to me and I should pick one. After picking one and confirming they are accepting patients I should call the insurance folks back to get approval for a number of appointments. They close at five, so hopefully I’ll get the list soon so i can get this rolling - hopefully i’ll get this sorted today. Its funny that I feel this sense of almost giving up on doing it myself, this outdated cultural stigma at the same time that I feel a strong sense of hope that this will be a turning point in my mental health. I look back and wonder with a decent sense of awe how different my life might have been had I received mental health care as a teen when this all started.

I had a pretty heavy depressive episode yesterday, and am happy to report that today feels more like my standard levels of depression, i’m me again today - the me that most know, not the me that’s falling and can’t seem to catch hold. this information that today is a new day, i’ve survived, and the pit appears to have closed is the end of the positives for this post. here on in will be an unloading of a very stressful and difficult week, read on if you wish, but i gotta get these demons out somewhere, so here they go.

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I guess i should start at the start. I returned this last week from a week of sick leave wherein I had some Covid symptoms, my wife had some Covid symptoms and at the start of that sick week, that was majorly stressful.  I got tested, nasal swab, x-ray, and found to be negative for covid, or pneumonia. my wife’s insurance, however, had her do an online appointment, she answered some questions, the internet told her it was likely viral sinusitis, and wrote her a note to take the week off as well, no seeing a doctor, no actual tests. now, luckily, we both seem to have gotten better over that week - but boy was that frustrating.

When I returned to work, my boss and I had a bit of a disagreement about what a sick note through Saturday meant, he thought i should have come in Saturday, I thought i shouldn't. I even called Saturday and someone over the phone told me i was not scheduled Saturday. at the end of the conversation he had basically made it seem like i was dumb for thinking about it the way i did, that it didn’t matter about the call on Saturday, and that i might get in trouble. then he said “so, for next time, you know - come in on the day that’s listed.” So far, no trouble has come down the pipeline about that, but he’s been much less jovial with me of late.

That’s probably a decent bit of paranoia, we’ve all been less jovial of late, at my work. Providing mental health care to inpatient teens is hard. there’s a lot of secondhand trauma. (more on that later) there’s a lot of firsthand trauma. (more on that later). These kids are quite ill, and they are trying so hard, often put up against a life that’s honestly too difficult for even most adults, my whole heart goes to them. Right now, With the pandemic, and the rioting, they have more stress than ever, and less access to their loved ones, and anyone who knows anything about mental illness, knows what that means for their mental health. And with all of our patients having suddenly much worse mental health it means not only that my coworkers and I are dealing with more unsafe situations, and absorbing more trauma, but on the back-end we’re watching these kids backslide through months of progress, and sometimes that’s so heartbreaking. It’s normal, to backslide, and it doesn’t mean anything negative about the kids, but it doesn’t make it less heartbreaking. so yeah, coworkers are all in their stressed out, panic, survival modes, and its pretty visible right now - which means sometimes we are not as awesome to each other as we could be.

One of my coworkers was especially not awesome, to himself, this week. I really looked up to this  guy. takes heart to be openly flamboyantly queer with these kids, and he was, and he was always honest with them as far as accountability, a real no-sugar-coating type guy. when things got rough, it wasn’t unusual to hear him say “look at your life, look at your choices” to these kids, where other staff might handhold, and walk them through an analysis of what they’d been doing. Well, this week he must have finally snapped from the stress, as about 5 cop cars and a firetruck arrived at the neighboring cottage to retrieve him from the bathroom, where he had sequestered himself to huff aerosol mid shift. He won’t be returning, and he was damn good at this. he’ll be missed, and I hope away from the job he can recover.

Stream of consciousness, this brings us to kids and trauma. To avoid trauma, as the kids also care about that coworker, I ushered the kids I was outside with into the building. well, all but one. This is a fairly new patient, AFAB NB, spent a long time homeless before coming to us, family ain’t about the identity. As the cops rolled up, they were hurling insults, flipping them off, and generally saying things that I had to remind them to watch their language for. not that i reminded them very loud, because honestly, mood. But then they got silent as the cops sent to work, and they got real still. they stopped responding to me, and that was when i decided to walk around in front of them and force eye contact. they were on the verge of tears. I said “They aren’t here for you, you’re safe here, let’s go inside - it isn’t helping you to watch this.” they said It’s just --- the last time I saw the Cops they were hauling away my boyfriend”. - “that is extremely traumatic, if you come inside with me we can work on some coping, and help you to get the thoughts out, will you come inside with me?” -- “I wan’t to, But I just Can’t, I Can’t Make Myself.” - “Can you take my arm and we’ll walk together?” --”NO! I Can’t Have Anyone Touch Me Right Now, PLEASE” - “Absolutely, you’re safe here, how about if we take it slow, and I walk beside you instead?” -- “o-okay” it took us roughly 5 minutes to walk the 20 steps to the door. Once inside, they wept in a ball for some time, before beginning to work on coping skills with me. In processing, they let me know they were having such trouble because the boyfriend they were remembering had been very abusive, and the cops were hauling him off because of the beatings he had heaped upon them. that they hated the cops because they thought they loved him at the time, even though they now know he was not good for them, but knowing that hadn’t made them hate the cops less. And that seeing the cops had put their mind firmly into memories of being abused, and that they were having trouble breaking free of that thought trap. eventually we were able to get them involved in group activities and somewhat distracted, at least.

There’s a kid who reminds me of me as a teen, he’s depressed, and angry. unlike me as a teen he’s also very slow to process, and to avoid falling behind when he fails to process things he either makes cruel jokes, or explodes with anger. His dog is dying. His family barely sees him normally, but with the virus they don’t do much at all. His only contact is family therapy, and when he remembers to call them. he often doesn’t remember to call them until after phone time is over. then he wants to scream and shout and tear everything apart when he doesn’t get to make the call. This story though, is about a day he did remember to call. And his family let him know about the riots, all across the country. He’s trying hard to understand, but he doesn’t. He thinks, his being here, after drug and assault charges, has something to do with whats going on out there. that maybe his case is also unjust. but he also knows he needs this care. but he also sees himself backsliding and feels hopeless about progress, due to the depression. This is when he decides to try to recruit his peers to escape with him. All of his peers, to their credit, stayed the fuck out of it. but it did mean convincing him of the value of treatment, and the potential risk of breaking down a door - while he was trying to break down a door. he’s one of the few that I honestly don’t know, if i’m alone with him and he swings on me, if i could defend myself well enough until support arrived. he didn’t that day. but boy was that A Lot Of Stress.

The kid who has assaulted the most staff and peers, physically, verbally, sexually. started a plan that had him out of Low Stim and with peers in Close Attention this week, because we were receiving a new kid this week, at six foot, straight from juvie, a known fighter, and an off-meds psychopath. and, even though Low Stim has 2 rooms, we’re trying to get sexually assaultive kid out of there so there isn't risk in the dual occupancy. i’ll talk about new kid later, for now lets talk about the more long term patient. this patient has trouble with building relationships, an echo of the abuse he experienced in younger life, frequently he gets sexually explicit, physically assaultive and perhaps fecally oriented while doing so, especially when he is worried about relationships, or feels “too silly”. the trouble being of course, our counseling works best when we build strong relationships with patients, and even regular jokes can push him into the “too silly” category. He did well for the first bit. after about three days the back to back escalations began. a peer told a joke, he laughed too much, the staff pulled all the other kids inside and away from him to protect them. he whipped out his dick, pissed all over the place, tried showing it to staff, then began throwing sidewalk chalk everywhere, windows, doors, the roof, towards other buildings, whatnot. when the support staff arrived and 12 of us asked him to proceed to a quiet room, he did so of his own volition, rather than us taking him, and due to that, my coworker did not lock him there. no sooner had the extra staff gone than he came out banging around.we went hands on and locked him there. at the end of an hour and a half, my coworker deemed he had calmed enough to rejoin his peers. no sooner had he made his way back into the milieu than he began trying to hug and grope various staff.we again hauled him into a quiet room and locked him there. as the shift neared its end, we called security and had them help us get him back to his room in the LSA, not wanting to leave night shift with a kid in a QR. once back there, he tried to show staff his dick, again, and eventually settled into refusing to go to his room, when it was clear staff wouldn’t interact with him anymore for the night and expected him to go to bed, he went in his room, drug his mattress to being half down in the doorway, looked at me and said “is this in my room enough?” before laying down to try to sleep. he was scared, after everything he didnt want to be alone, and would rather not follow directions and potentially be in trouble, than be by himself in his room. I let him stay there. More of the same throughout the following day, and the day after that is when his story intersects with new kids in just about the most traumatic way.

New kid is over six feet, muscular, dead eyed, and arrived wearing a juvie orange jumper which he refuses to change from. developmentally, it is hard to distinguish this mustachioed individual from a fully grown man. in all of his dealings with staff, he was robotically polite. out of staffs sight he could be heard screaming angrilly, wailing in dispair, cursing out people who aren’t there, and then pleading “ oh no, no no no, NO NO NO NO” like you would expect to hear from a prone person while someone with a bloody knife walked towards them. I know because for a lot of the week i sat and listened to this. i listened to him strike himself after the pleading as well. and while I personally was not threatened in any way by his actions, it was still extremely stressful and distressing. Throughout the week, whenever the longer term patient overheard these things, he would should “would you stop, damn” to the new kid, and less polite versions. I tried to remind the long term patient that everyone struggled with different things, and that it would be better to ignore his peer, or at least make politer requests. no such luck. it seemed, throughout the week as though new kid simply did not hear long term patient.he proved that wrong on saturday afternoon, when he marched out of his room and began wailing on long term patient. after long term patient fell, new patient grabbed him by the hair and pulled him into a room, where the beating could be heard to continue. By the time we had enough staff to safely go in, new kid was standing one foot on long term kids throat, looking him in the eyes and repeating “i’m going to kill you” but, dispassionately.

I think thats it for work stress, I covered viral stress earlier. I am stressed by the riots. it makes me profoundly sad that it must come to this, but i also find myself firmly believe it HAD to come to this. that this rioting is righteous, and the only road to social change. I’ve been a punk since I was a teen, and I feel like i should do more for this movement, but honestly all of my energy is being spent keeping me going and treating these kids.

My depression has picked my relationship with bestie to fixate on in these trying times, and I fear I may have damaged that relationship because of it this weekend. bestie has just started a new schedule which is excellent for her. I’m so happy that she is now on a schedule that works for her needs, and will allow a healthy amount of sleep, and time at home, and for her to sleep close to the hours she’d prefer to be sleeping. I had been very lucky in that her last schedule was very close to my own schedule, and so our time at home nearly entirely overlapped. she chose to spend a number of mornings, and late evenings after the rest of the house just hanging out, her and I, and I absolutely love that time. I don’t want to sound entitled to it, at all. it is a gift she gives to me, that I am so happy to receive and which i am so glad she wants to give to me. With the new schedule she will have to leave early enough that the morning hangouts will not be an option, and because of this likely ought to go to bed early enough that the hangouts while the house slumbers aren’t a healthy choice. My depression tried hard to have me believing that this meant those times were just gone. After work saturday, bestie and wifey were listening to an excellent, but extremely despairing/sad audio drama.It was very enjoyable. It was probably not a mentally healthy choice for me to partake in that, and had I requested a different hangouts activity, they might have been a little sad, but probably would have swapped. instead, rather than be an even minor inconvenience I joined because i wanted the hangouts, and had a great time listening to a great story and felt like while the despair was growing in me, in resonance with the story, i’d sleep on it and it’d be alright sunday. I woke up sunday honestly too depressed to get out of bed. just laying in spiral. I asked bestie to join us in bed, when i heard her going to get her phone charger, hoping extra cuddles would help me get through, i don’t know why i couldn’t ask for what I wanted, I had the opportunity and I’m sure it would have been fine, now, in hindsight. I felt like at the time I was so certain something would go wrong. eventually everyone came to the bed and there was a semi-cudllepuddle. people didn't want to fall back asleep, it makes sense not to full cuddle puddle for that. as people set in on their various phone activities I started to get that feeling like i wasn’t part of what was happening (despite being there. I know, I don’t know why, but when the depression gets going it gets harder to fight.) and rather than grab my phone and to the separate activities together thing I just withdrew. i recall someone commenting on it, and I thought i said something confirmatory about it. The blondes (wifey and besties husband) went to the store, and I could tell bestie might fall asleep, so i tried to get her to stay awake, she needed to for the new schedule. in interacting i’d asked to hold her hand, and she observed i was sad to relinquish it when she wanted it back. admitting that made me sad, led to just an outpouring of all of this stuff sans work stuff. and the worry about time to spend. I shouldn’t have dumped all of that on her, she didn’t consent to listening to that, and she certainly had a stressful enough time. I hate that when I’m in the throws of this damn disease I can’t seem to stop this. I don’t want to hurt the people I love. I don’t want to push them away. She reminded me I ought to go to therapy. I worry I may have offended her by talking about worrying about time we’d get to spend together. That voice in my brain is trying to convince me that her response means that those times mean so much more to me than to her. thats a damn lie. its a damn lie and it needs to get out. I’m exorcising it with the lot.

I’ve just received the list. I’m ending this here, and moving forward with that productive enterprise

#depression #Work Stress #bestie #wifey #therapy #Begone Demons

[clementinefletcher]

★ ━  ( halsey,   non-binary,   she/they )  ━ ★   just to be clear, ya didn’t get this information from me.   The person you’re lookin’ for is   CLEMENTINE LOUISE FLETCHER.  also known as just   CLEM.    Last I heard they were born on   AUGUST 8TH, 1993    in    NEW YORK CITY,     and they’ve been livin’ in     THE NORTHWEST DISTRICT,    for about    TWELVE YEARS.    Word around the districts is, this pal,   CLEM  can be    JITTERY,   OVERCRITICAL,   &   STOIC,   but i gotta tell, ya, alls I seen is good things, like the fact that they’re   AMBITIOUS,  ENERGETIC,    &    SUPPORTIVE,   I guess that depends on how well ya know ‘em, though.   the last thing ya need to know is that they work as a   TWITCH STREAMER   &   FREELANCE ARTIST.   I don’t know much about what that’s all about but I do know that’s all I can tell ya the rest you gotta find out on ya, own.    ━     ( ooc:  ci,   est,   27,   she/her )

Hello! I”m Ci and I also rp Charlie Summers. My Discord is CiRoleplays#4052. I am new to that so please ignore how bad I am at it right now. Like do you need those numbers? I have no clue! Anyways down below you found out more about my baby Clem. You can also message me on here or Charlie’s account.

TW: PTSD, Family Abandonment, Depression, Mental Illness, Anxiety, Verbal Abuse

Family Background

Daniel Fletcher their biological father was, in the 1st Battalion, 1st Marines. It is something that he will always be proud of, but it really wrecked who he was mentally. His platoon was attacked during the Persian Gulf War in the 1990s. Daniel saved three people from the whole thing, but watched the rest of his soldiers die. Despite coming out of this as a war hero, he lived with many demons. This altered the life of Clementine the most. He was too shellshocked when he returned from war to ever be excited about their birth. His PTSD caused him to verbally lash out at Clementine. Which is one of the reasons why they ran away. 

Alana Fletcher their mother was, a very smart women who worked as a secretary for a housing company. Daniel was her high school sweetheart and they always had wanted a child. So when she did become pregnant it was so exciting for them, but then Daniel was sent back to war again. This left Alana alone with the baby bump that would soon become Clementine. Since the bump was that she could talk to, they became great talking pals. Sadly right as Clementine came into the world, Daniel seemed to lose a lot of his suddenly. At first she didn’t let her husband get away with the verbal abuse. Some things he could say to Clem and then there were times where he drew the line. Then when she lost her job due to the house market crash, she gave up on trying.

Collin Green their pretty much adoptive father, works with his own non-profit that helps underprivileged people in Portland. He found her when she had run away from home at the age of fifteen. Collin is also a veteran and was very close to her biological father Daniel. Unlike Daniel, Collin was able to pull himself out of the deep parts of PTSD. He still suffers from it, but with therapy and later Clementine he realized that it was okay to suffer from a mental illness. It gave him the idea for his non-profit and changed his life. 

Clementine Louise Fletcher

She/They Pronouns, has moments where they is more preferred, but will let the person know when that feeling strikes.

They are still trying to figure out sexuality, normally they date women or men more open to being feminine. Isn’t even sure if she wants a label with it.

They have two jobs. Twitch Streamer, where they play video games and often will play said video game in cosplay. Freelance Artist, has an online shop where they sell paintings on mostly landscapes and womanly figures. 

They live in The NorthWest District, lived on the streets of Downtown until Collin Green found them. 

Finds beauty in almost everything, is that person that walks around and makes you stop to go “LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIFUL THAT IS?!” 

Carries around a tiny pale purple sketchbook, will take this out and start drawing out of nowhere if the mood strikes.

A sucker for affection, often will lean into hugs and cherish it for a bit, long kisses, cuddles that last until waking up.

Will never judge if you haven’t played a video game, but will want to show you their favorite ones, also truly loves when people watch her play.

Is a lot more confident around close friends, family, and while on twitch streams. 

Owns a lot of wigs and will always have very naturally short hair. Her hair color changes almost every day or just when the color feels right. 

Has a lot of sleep anxiety and often will ask someone to lay down with her or hold some type of stuffed animal, often dreams of fighting parents or nights being homeless.

Still deals with her past traumas daily, very down on themselves for no reason, overcritical of themselves and sometimes her environment, will go into an emo listening depression at random moments.

Holds a lot of resentment towards their family, despite leaving a note they never searched for Clementine. Not that she expected them too, but they also do not ask Collin how they ever are. 

Wanted Connections

Collin Green: In my mind his fc is Daveed Diggs (i love him) and he is in his middle thirties. Works for a nonprofit that helps underprivileged people. Is the CEO or just the top man with this nonprofit. Met Clem about three weeks of her living on the streets. He took her in since she was going to have to end up in the possible foster system or worse sent home. Very much the Joel to her Ellie.  Friends: This could be from people who knew her when she was homeless to knowing her during her awkward going into high school knowing no one. Also could just gotten to know her from twitch streams.  Friends With Benefits Chosen Family Past-Lovers Current Crushes Video game buddies Artist friends Honestly give me more ideas i’m here for it!

#pb:intro #tw; ptsd #tw; depression #tw; anxiety #tw; mental illness #tw; verbal abuse #clem: selfintro #;they were made of clouds and stardust

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

Thank you Mr. Yamada

Summary: You’re undergoing some serious stress involving grades and schoolwork, and when Aizawa proves less than helpful, you end up confiding in an oddly sweet and comforting Present Mic.

We’ve all talked smack about a teacher before right? Lol cuz this has some of that... and even good teachers make mistakes by telling us things we don’t want to hear... 

I wanna dedicate this to Mental Health month, because I know students have struggled with school and it can take a toll on our mental health, and not just school, but with work and life in general so... this might be my favorite fic so far. Cuz I’m sure we’ve all had those wonderful teachers who have actually helped us during some times where we really needed it.

And no there’s NO romance at all in this fic, Reader just has a crush on Present Mic but it don’t go no further than that. This is purely platonic anf fluffy fic featuring a teacher just helping out a student because teachers are supposed to help students. And I can see Present Mic being an emotionally intelligent dude since his intelligence is at 5/5, smarter than Aizawa cuz he’s only 4/5... XD

Sorry Aizawa lol...

And I shamelessly alluded to Mean Girls quite a bit in this one I just love that movie XD

BTW SORRY FOR ANY OOC-NESS!!

Featuring: Favorite Parakeet Dad!!

You're never gonna be alone! From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall, You're never gonna be alone! I'll hold you 'till the hurt is gone.

-”Never Gonna Be Alone” by Nickelback

“*You… have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand the rights I have read to you?*” 

In English class with your favorite teacher, you had recited the Miranda rights in often stated in America from police when they arrested villains and criminals during the lesson of differences in hero laws in Japan and America. English had gotten easier for you, and you liked to think you were slightly better at it than most of your classmates were.

“YES! Perfection (L/N)! Always the first one to answer right on the dot!” Yamada made sure to loudly praise you in front of the class, because while he didn’t want to play favorites like your homeroom teacher did, he felt that it was necessary since you looked like you needed a little support lately.

“T-Thank you, Mr. Yamada.” You somewhat shyly thanked your English teacher after receiving such praise, not entirely oblivious to some looks your classmates were giving to Yamada. They weren’t jealous or anything, but the loud pro-hero certainly made it a point to make you sound like the best student in this class.

Needless to say, it kind of made you happy since you had been struggling lately in your other classes. Especially with Aizawa. 

Speaking of which…

You were distracted and feeling kinda groggy the entire time in the Hero course, sighing as you tiredly stared off into space and barely registering anything Aizawa, or was it Iida talking? Whoever it was, you weren’t really listening, you were thinking of something else and trying to not think about how bad you were doing in class.

After seeing everyone improve on their quirks and overcoming their own issues, just… really made you feel like you were doing the opposite. And you hated it…

Everyday you tried your hardest, pushed yourself even if it made your muscles ache and your bones hurt the next day. You worked with your quirk as much as you could, even trying to carry a larger portion of water to try and control it as much as you could. Your parents worried that you were going overboard and trying to go beyond your limits, but you really just wanted to get better like everyone else. Not just to feel proud of yourself, but to make everyone around you proud. Even if it meant working yourself tired, and even if it meant forcing yourself to keep everything inside so you could focus on what mattered.

However…

For a while you had really been pretending to be okay until class ended and lunch break had started. Before you could get up to leave to the cafeteria, Aizawa stopped you.

“(L/N).”

You sighed to yourself, closing your eyes and preparing yourself to reluctantly go over to your teacher. What did you do this time? “Yes?” Despite your mood, you made sure to sound polite.

“I need your parents to sign this.” Aizawa gave you a report with a few marks on it, which was detailing a list of things you apparently needed to work on. “Let them know that you’re failing.” The words hit you like a school bus as you inhaled deeply.

“Failing?” You asked incredulously, even though you believed it based on your gradually worsening performances and lack of focus in class lately. He nodded, but it almost seemed as if he didn’t want to tell you this.

“That’s right. I’ve been seeing you regress during physical training. Your supermove also needs more work and thought put into. You barely managed to get your hero license because you had your classmates help you out. I don’t know what’s been distracting you, but you need to work on that because it’s getting in the way of your progress.” Every critique he gave you felt like arrows to your back as you kept your composure.

“I see that you’re struggling, but that’s why I’m telling you what you need to work on, because I know you have potential, but lately you haven’t been living up to it. You don’t want to waste it by letting your vulnerabilities show.” Aizawa wasn’t exactly trying to sound harsh, but he was being honest with you to let you know what he was seeing from you.

“How would you know what vulnerabilities are?”

You steadied your breathing while your teacher talked, resisting the urge to storm out and ignore him like you had been the past couple of months.

“I can help you. You’re here to become a hero, and it’s my job to make sure that you become one. And you can’t be a hero if you’re not trying to catch up to the others. But I know you’re stronger and smarter than this, so I’m going to give you more study sessions and training sessions to help you improve.” He offered you help, but all you heard was him accuse you of not trying to catch up.

“I understand. Thank you, sir, I needed to hear that.” You smiled politely albeit a little sadly. That was a complete lie, you were aware that you were struggling and the way he said all of that just made you feel like shit.

But you still smiled despite the emotions that were brewing inside you but you’ve been pretending to be okay for a good portion of your life so you knew how to keep the tears at bay. And you were NOT going to cry in front of your teacher, especially not the one you felt was bringing you down.

Aizawa looked at you pensively, as if he almost sensed that you weren’t being a hundred percent honest, so he asked you.

“Are you all right (L/N)?” Maybe he was a little harsh with his words, and he could tell that something was a little bit wrong, because he knew that your smile wasn’t real.

“No. No I’m good, I totally get it and I promise I will push myself hard, I know what I gotta do now. I just needed that little push.” You nodded, forcing yourself to sound more chipper as your fake smile grew. And you were thankful that you were good at acting since Aizawa seemed to believe your lies as he sighed a bit.

“Well good. I know you can do it. That’s why I’m pushing you.”

You almost missed the good intentions in his words, because you were too mad to even believe him. “Thank you again Mr. Aizawa. And if there’s anything else I can do to improve, just let me know and I will do it.”

As you smiled, you didn’t notice that your classmate Aoyama was there to eat lunch by himself and he saw right through you. He knew you weren’t being honest and that you most certainly weren’t happy after hearing everything yours and his teacher had told you.

“I will.” Aizawa said to you before you left the classroom in a bit of a huff…

SECONDS LATER…

“I HATE HIM!” You stormed off to scream in the bathroom, but you made sure that you were alone because you knew that ranting about this to the other girls wouldn’t allow you to vent. They would tell you a bunch of bullshit about how Aizawa was ‘trying to help’.

Why? Because they told you that the last time you tried venting about your troubles in class and didn’t help you at all. You loved those girls, but you wanted to slap them silly for dismissing how angry you were that day. So it was just better to vent to yourself, by yourself…

It’s not like they would understand anyway, they all seemed pretty pleased with themselves.

“He’s failing me on purpose I swear to God… that… that fucking jerk… why is it always me? Why am I always being the one singled out…? It’s not like I’m the dumbest and the weakest one in class…” You muttered and asked yourself when you thought about your other classmates who weren’t doing too good either, but they weren’t being called out for it.

Kaminari and Ashido were so much worse at taking tests than you were, and Mineta had a weak-ass quirk while your water quirk could at least pack a punch so why weren’t those three getting read like you were?

You have potential, but lately you haven’t been living up to it?

Did that mean you were losing your potential?

Wasting it and letting your vulnerabilities show?

Weren’t you a human first and a hero second?

Can’t be a hero if you’re not trying to catch up?

But weren’t you trying your damn hardest every goddamn day?

Who does Mr. Aizawa think he is? You wondered as you retreated from the mirror and locked yourself in one of the bathrooms stalls to sit down with your hands in your head, unable to stop a flood of tears from streaming down your face as you began wondering if you were overreacting.

At least, until the rest of your intrusive thoughts came to haunt you.

‘He’s right you know. You’re only mad because he’s right! And do you see Midoriya, Bakugou and Todoroki? They’re doing things you could never do! Congratulations, you’re going to fail and never become a hero cuz the only things you’ve succeeded in this class at all          is being weak, slow AND stupid. Your teacher sees it and your classmates can see it!’

The saboteur in your head taunted you as you cried quietly to yourself and trembled where you sat. God what were your parents going to think when you tell them you’re failing?

And on top of that, there was no way you were going back to class looking like this. You refused.

It’s not like anyone was going to worry or even notice that you weren’t in class because clearly, you were the weakest link in class. You felt that it was better if everyone just did their things without you. You were useless right now, and you were being completely honest, you didn’t want to see any of your classmates right now.

How could they relate to you? They were all doing so much better than you anyway, and they were all stronger, smarter and more talented than you were.

There was no way they could understand…

4 HOURS LATER…

You didn’t want to leave the bathroom, not when it was the only place of privacy where you could hide. Honestly, you were considering just staying in there for the rest of the day, and somehow sneak into your dorm-room and then stay in there for the rest of the night. No one would bother you, and most importantly, you wouldn’t bother anyone either with your pathetic problems.

However, realistically, you knew that couldn’t happen and you were getting kind of bored being all alone in this smelly room and with your phone on low. As much as you didn’t want to, it was time to get out for just a little bit and keep skipping class and fake an illness like mono if you have to; you weren’t going back to class, you absolutely refused.

Sighing, you slowly opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom with a heaviness in your chest that was begging you to go find someplace to sleep in an attempt to make this shitty day go away by closing your eyes. It was already close to the last class of the day, but you had no plans on showing up. Sure you’d get in trouble for it later, but at this point you barely cared anymore. All you wanted to do was stick to your plan and sneak back to your dorm-room so you could be miserable in peace.  

“(L/N)?”

Your favorite teacher’s voice made you freeze in your tracks and gasp audibly in shock. Just like that your body reacted on its own as you started shaking nervously but kept your back turned even though Yamada’s enthusiastic and loud voice was impossible for you to ignore.  

“There you are! Eraser’s been looking for you for a while! Said your classmates didn’t know where you were at! In fact, I think they’re all looking for you!”

Aizawa was worried about you? You honestly couldn’t imagine why, and you didn’t believe it. But just thinking about that was making you quiver more, fists clenching as your lips trembled and tears built up in your eyes, spilling down because there were too much for your eyes to hold back. There was nothing you could do, you wanted to just walk away or even run but how could you do that to Yamada? When he was the only teacher that you felt gave you the most praise when you clearly sucked at everything.

“Haha I can’t wait to see his face when he sees that I found you! And he was worried… but I knew you had to be around campus somewhere~. After all you’re not the type who would skip class, though to be honest you haven’t really been-”

Before he had a chance to finish his sentence you finally turned to face him with your lip quivering and tears running down your face as you sniffled. He quickly shut himself up as the smile on his face immediately fell and contorted into an uncharacteristically concerned frown. Looking directly at him, you saw what looked like worry in his eyes through his glasses. Yamada was usually such a loud man who was almost always smiling that seeing him so quiet and frowning was almost unnatural to you.  

“Hey… (Y/N)… what’s wrong?” He asked you in a rare, soft and very concerned tone. Something not many had the opportunity to hear from the loud-mouthed, carefree pro-hero.

As hard as you tried to keep it all in, everything just poured out of you. Word vomit at its best.

“I… I’m failing the hero course… and I-I’m… I’m trying SO hard… but it’s not enough… I-I haven’t been improving a-and… t-the more I think about it… the more I think t-that I… I should have tried harder… I should have studied harder… worked harder… but… it’s just so hard…” You shut your eyes as tears fell to the ground, unable to hold back the sob that crept out of your throat and made your shoulders shake up and down from the remaining cries that you apparently weren’t finished getting rid of yet. Apparently, you weren’t finished crying yet, and now the concern Mr. Yamada showed you was enough to trigger the overwhelming disappointment with yourself into making you cry in self-pity. 

You hated it.

Frankly, Yamada was alarmed by the sight of a student crying, but there was no way he was going to leave you alone. He knew what you were talking about too, he had noticed that you hadn’t been as energetic lately, nor did you seem happy at all. Sure, you paid attention in HIS class, but he knew that’s because you were confident in there. However, based on what Aizawa had been telling him about you and the rest of his students and from what he’s seen in your overall demeanor, he knew you had fallen into a slump and this was a result of bottling up all your stress. Now it was all pouring out and it practically broke his heart seeing you like this.

“M-M…M-Mr. Aizawa… h-he… he knows I’m weak a-and s-stupid… he’s not saying it outright, but I know he knows it… and he’s right… n-n-nno matter what I try, nnnnn-nothing works… I’m guh-getting worse… e-eh-ev-everyone’s getting better… e-e-everyone… b-but me…” You choked out tearfully in between sobs, barely able to even talk as you opened up what had been eating you up from the inside out.

“What? No! That’s not true! Trust me, Eraser and I talk all the time, and he does NOT think you’re weak… and if everyone’s getting better, then you are too! You’re a part of their class after all, they’re just improving in their own ways, and you are too!” Yamada has seen students break down before, but not quite like this where he was face-to-face with one, so he wasn’t entirely sure how to make you feel better. He wouldn’t give up though, not on his student.

“B-But… but it’s true… I-I… I’m not improving… I-I’ve… I’m regressing… i-in the tests, t-the combat… I-I keep losing… f-for me and m-my partners I’m p-paired with… a-and t-the gym… God the fucking gym… I-I can’t… I’m getting slower… I can’t run fast… e-even though I push myself as hard as I can I just c-can’t… l-look at me, I’m pathetic and weak, I’m weak, s-slow and stupid… I-I can’t ru-run fast Mr. Yamada, I-I c-can’t fight back, I can’t buh-b-be a hero, I-I’m the weakest link in my class, I-I’m ridiculous and sss-sllow…”

Dramatically and breaking down almost completely, you started running in place as if to emphasize your weakness in running as you continued to cry and unload the same intrusive thoughts that tormented you. You almost didn’t notice Yamada awkwardly walking closer towards you even if what he was seeing right now was hard to watch. An upset, anxious student overwhelmed by anxiety and self-doubt who was falling apart before his eyes.

“Stop it… S-Stop saying those things! Come on now… you can’t say that to yourself… you can’t treat yourself like that… come here…”

He shook his head at what you were saying about yourself, opening his arms out as you found yourself gladly letting yourself into your teacher’s hold as he gently put his arms around you in a soft hug while you clung to him and unabashedly cried your heart out. Yamada was an affectionate and hands-on kind of man in general, but as a teacher he didn’t want to cross his boundaries with a student. However, he cared about you very much, and you looked so upset that he couldn’t just let you cry and suffer all by yourself like this. As a teacher AND a hero, he felt like it was his job to comfort a distraught student who was clearly under a lot of stress. You might have been Aizawa’s student, but you were just as much one of his students as you were Aizawa’s!

“It… I-It’s s-ssso huh-hard… I-It’s just so… fucking… hard… I… I… I-I’m s-ss-sso tired of tuh-trying so hard a-and not d-doing anything right M-Mr. Yamada… n-nothing I-I do is… m-making me better… I-I… I-I’m g-getting w-w-worse…”

You’ve really done it this time. Crying like a child in front of your favorite teacher. And yet, hugging him felt so nice. So warm and comforting.

“I know… I know it’s hard… hey, hey it’s okay… I’ve got you… don’t hurt yourself sweetie, take deep breaths for me now, okay? Breathe…” He said in the softest voice you had ever heard him use as he held you while you clutched his costume, and he didn’t mind. Rocking you gently, he kept hushing you as you cried, your shoulders still trembling as he made sure to speak softly and gently to soothe your frazzled nerves as you followed his advice, trying to steady your rapid breathing by taking a few deep inhales and shaky exhales through gritted teeth. Inhaling sharply in an attempt to try and breathe again as you focused on the warmth coming from your teacher’s arms, slowly it was working.

“Good, that’s it… very good, shhhhh…” He praised you once he felt you slowing yourself down, knowing that you were in serious need of emotional support right now, and everything he was doing so far was working for you. You felt very safe at the moment, and not judged at all. Yamada was very patient with you too, he let you slow down so you could catch your breath and breathe properly, and he only spoke when you had eventually stopped shaking as you kept taking deep, steady breaths until you were calm enough and stopped hyperventilating.

“You’re trying very hard. Being a hero ain’t easy… but you’re not alone ya know? Ya see, while you might not think so, you’re trying just as hard, if not, harder than anyone else is! I’ve seen your effort, and your passion… Eraser’s a bit too much sometimes BUT! I’m sure he can tell you’re trying your best…”

“Mr. Aizawa doesn’t care about me, or how hard I try… he never has… all he cares about are the strong ones in our class… He only cares about Shinsou, Midoriya, Bakugou, Tsuyu, Yaoyorozu and Todoroki… all my friends… but not me… cuz I’m the weakest one… I’m sure he’s just ready to expel me anytime he wants…” Your tone was bitter, yet still fresh with sadness and your lack of self-esteem and distorted view was talking for you. Even though at times you felt as if Aizawa didn’t care about you, and it wouldn’t surprise you if he didn’t.

“Ha! He gives off that impression, doesn’t he?” He laughed a little bit, trying to lighten up your mood a little bit as you were calm enough to pay attention to him, blinking slightly as it pushed some stray tears down your face. “Eraser’s good at pretending he doesn’t care about his students… the thing is though he’s a total pusher, he pushes people, just like that teacher in Mean Girls. And he especially pushes his students BECAUSE he cares about them and he knows that they have a LOT of potential! And he definitely cares about you! I know he does! He definitely doesn’t think you’re weak!” That didn’t really do much to make you feel better since you already heard that from Aizawa. But surprisingly Yamada could tell that it wasn’t doing much to convince you.

“He just forgets that he can come off as a total hardass sometimes and that you kids are still kids who are gonna react differently compared to others. But don’t let that make you feel as if you’re not improving, because you are! You’re one of my best students! And I’ve seen the way you use your quirk. You’re really strong! You’re just in a little bit of a slump that’s all, nothing wrong with that though because every hero goes through slumps. I sure have! Every teacher in this school has! Including Eraser and even All-Might!” Yamada used his normal tone this time, enthusiastically saying oddly sweet and gentle words of encouragement to you.

At first you were surprised once you registered all of that, but you understood what he was saying. Basically, that none of the heroes were perfect, and that there wasn’t anything wrong with that. You yourself were far from perfect and prone to making a lot of mistakes and you struggled with things differently than your classmates might have, including anxiety, self-hatred and self-doubt.

Yet, Yamada still didn’t judge you, and he wasn’t judging you for being upset over this, if anything, his words just made you realize that while you weren’t perfect; there was nothing wrong with being imperfect because it happens to everyone, and that regardless of the slump you were definitely in, it didn’t make you weak.

“Look it’s perfectly normal to go through these slumps. We might be heroes, and we might be humans with quirks, but under the costumes and the hero titles we’re still just humans, the quirks are just bonuses, and they don’t change the fact that we’re humans at our core. Even if we chose to be heroes, we can’t forget or ignore our humanity AND our wellbeing, now can we? Our humanity is the basis of our heroism, don’t you think?” He asked you, raising a brow as you looked up at him almost adoringly. Sometimes you swore everyone forgot how smart Yamada was, but you didn’t, you thought he was wonderful.

In fact, you thought he was the most brilliant hero in the school, and you were absolutely marveled by him, especially right now. He told you everything you wanted and needed to hear. So, you nodded your head at his question, making him smile again.

“Don’t ever feel bad for being human. You know your limits and what your own personal issues are, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. And I know you get anxious and doubt yourself sometimes, but those don’t make you weak either. You are NOT weak and it’s OKAY to not feel okay sometimes, it does NOT make you weak. In fact, I believe you’re going to be one of the stronger heroes when you graduate and you’re going to be one of the most fantastic pro-heroes of your age! So, don’t think you’re weak or pathetic (L/N). Don’t you think that for one minute, okay?” He spoke gently again, and sounded slightly firm for a moment there, but it was still gentle and comforting as he grinned at you until a smile finally found its way onto your lips.

It was like a validation you never knew you needed, and just hearing him reassure you like this just made you tear up again as they freely fell down your face.

Sniffling, you whimpered and hugged him again in gratitude. Yamada was rather surprised at the sudden hug, but he quickly and gladly returned it with a big smile on his face, tearing up just a little bit himself; he was beyond happy that you seemed better now and that he was able to help you when you needed it.

“Okay… I won’t… I promise I won’t sir… thank you… but, you know… you actually gave me something else I didn’t know was what I really wanted…”

“Oh? What was that?”

“A hug…” You admitted somewhat shyly, since for a while you’d been desperately wanting a hug and couldn’t find it in you to ask some of your friends that because it felt so awkward. But thankfully, Yamada had given you what you had been wanting and needing. And admittedly, you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t have a bit of a crush on this man, even though you knew that it wouldn’t be possible because of the age gap, yet a part of you dreamed nonetheless for when you became of age.

As for Yamada, he was surprised by this and yet he still smiled while he hugged you. It was times like these that made him remember that this is why he became a teacher aside from a being a hero.

“I was happy to help (Y/N). And if you ever need to talk to someone about this or if you’re ever having another bad day, intrusive thoughts or anything else, you can always come to me okay?” He asked you softly, and you nodded in his hug with a warm smile, loving every minute of this and prayed that this could last just for a little while longer…

Sadly you didn’t get that wish.

“What’s going on here?” Aizawa’s voice startled you and Yamada as you both yelped and jumped a little bit in your hug, and slowly you pulled away to rather awkwardly turn to face the other pro-hero, whose eyes slightly widened upon seeing you.

“(L/N)?” Your own eyes widened, but you quickly looked away with a nervous look once you felt Aizawa’s eyes on you, staring at the ground as anxiety started creeping up on you again.

“Where have you been? You didn’t show up to class since lunch.” He asked you in a rare tone that almost sounded gentle. And worried? That really surprised you, but you weren’t exactly comfortable enough to answer him yet.

“Eraser! Perfect timing! I found (L/N)! And she’s okay!” Yamada cheerfully said and looked over at you. “You are aren’t you (L/N)?” However, he had to ask you that just to make sure that you were okay. And because it was Yamada speaking to you, you looked away from the ground to meet his eyes and you found yourself able to smile again at him.

“Y-Yeah… it’s been a while… but for once I can say that I am legitimately okay. Thanks to you Mr. Yamada.” You said, a bit bashfully but sincerely, not taking your eyes off your English teacher as he grinned happily, much to Aizawa’s subtle annoyance. Of course, he was relieved that you were okay, but he clearly saw that you weren’t looking at him.

“It was no problem! Anytime okay?” Yamada said to you sweetly, he was very genuine with you. And yet, he couldn’t help but kind of rub this in his friend’s face a little bit. Aizawa wouldn’t admit it, but it was working only a little bit, especially since his own student was being more open with his friend than him.

“(L/N) Are you all right?” Your teacher asked you, seeing your reddened eyes and the remnants of tears on your cheeks; at that moment he realized that you had been crying. You couldn’t tell that he had become rather concerned now since he had never seen you cry before.

However, as mad as you were at your homeroom teacher, you did eventually look at him before you wiped the dried tears from your face. “I’m sorry Mr. Aizawa… I skipped class… on purpose… I know I shouldn’t have … but, I… I wasn’t feeling well, and I wasn’t in a good place enough to come back....”

For once, you did see the care and concern in Aizawa’s now soft-looking eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’m your teacher. I know you’ve been struggling. I would have helped you if you told me that you needed it concerning your well-being.” He sounded like he was scolding you, and he was a little bit but now it was clear that he was more worried than upset with you.

You ALMOST wanted to cry again, but you didn’t now that you had gotten everything out with Yamada and felt better about yourself a little bit. Although you were feeling kind of guilty now for hiding everything else from Aizawa, it was time to get everything out with him too.

“That’s just it… I got in my head. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to you about this, with how bad I’ve been doing… I didn’t want to seem like I desperately needed help because I thought I could deal with this on my own.” You averted your eyes again, biting your bottom lip a little bit.

“And I have to be honest, I was hurt… I was hurt by your words today before lunch, it felt more like I was being judged than being given constructive criticism, like I was being told I wasn’t good enough, and that I wasn’t trying when I was trying my absolute hardest… when I’ve had plenty of people tell me that before… the minute you said that, I… I hated you in that moment… I wanted to punch you in the face… You were the last person I wanted to talk to about what was bothering me…” Almost shamefully, you covered your eyes with your fingers, unable to see the look of very subtle shock on your teacher’s face, as Yamada tried his hardest to not snicker, and it wasn’t working.

“I’m really sorry sir but I was just so hurt and angry that I could not bear the thought of asking you for help because I felt like I was just going to get judged again… but hiding wasn’t the right way to do it either… so I’m sorry… I never should have worried you.” You grabbed your arm nervously, guilt etched over your features even though you were finally being honest with Aizawa, just as you had been with Yamada.

Although you didn’t see it, Aizawa had the grace to look guilty. This wasn’t the first time he’s hurt one of his student’s feelings, and yet it never ceased to make him feel awful about it. Especially if it was enough to make one just avoid class altogether and cry by themselves. Worst of all, you refused to ask for his help because he hurt your feelings that badly.

“I appreciate your honesty (L/N). But you know that it’s never my intention to judge my students right? My purpose is to help you and your classmates improve and learn. I suppose I was too hard on you, and for that I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt your feelings.” He looked and sounded guilty, and for once you actually smiled at your homeroom teacher. Now you could register his words after clearing your head a little bit.

“I know… I’m sorry I took it so personally.” You felt bad though, even if you knew that your feelings were valid.

“Don’t be. I wasn’t really gentle with what I told you. I should have approached you better.” Aizawa owned up to not really being that nice in what he said to you, and you nodded in agreement, glad that he was taking responsibility for having hurt your feelings.

“Yeah your approach kinda sucked.” Despite that you gave a small chuckle and it surprised to see your own teacher give a low chuckle. Albeit, it was mostly because he was glad to see that you looked happier than you had been in months. He might not have been gentle about your struggles, but he knew you were struggling and it concerned him; he just didn’t know how to approach you about it the right way.

“You know that you’re going to still have to make up for all the classes you missed though, right?” But Aizawa still had to be your teacher, and this time, you weren’t sad to hear that from him as you nervously smiled.

“Of course… I saw that coming… I feel a little bit better to do that.” You said softly, even though you might not have been one hundred percent yet, you felt so much better after confiding in Mr. Yamada. And actually pretty inspired after he helped you and talked to you about taking care of your own mental health. “In fact, I’ve made a major decision after today.”

That however, surprised both Aizawa and Yamada, but they let you talk anyway to hear what you had to say.

“I’ve decided that I definitely want to work harder with my studies. The kind of hero I’ll be… will be one who looks out for people. Pick them up when they’re down. After all… it’s super important. Mental health is overlooked. I want to be that kind of hero for people who struggle like me.” You suddenly came to that conclusion after your talk with Yamada. It didn’t make all your issues go away, but his care for you during your breakdown gave you enough strength to get back up again and inspired you to think more about that.

“I’m going to fix all my mistakes, work on my super-move and rely less on my classmates. And I won’t let you down next time Mr. Aizawa. Because whoever you pair me up against, I’m going to kick their ass.” A smirk made its way to your lips, looking more confident and happier than earlier. Which pleased your teacher as he gave you a small smile, obviously happy himself that you finally looked more certain about yourself than you had been in months.

“I know you will.” Aizawa felt confident in you now after seeing the energy return to your eyes as you actually smiled wide at your teacher.

“I’ll see you both tomorrow. Mr. Aizawa. Mr. Yamada. And thank you again… thank you Mr. Yamada. I won’t forget this ever.” You bowed to them both, and Yamada couldn’t help but look very proud of himself when you gave him a second thank you, much to Aizawa’s annoyance.

“Of course (L/N)! I was happy to help!” Yamada’s enthusiastic tone bordered on a brag when he saw how peeved his friend looked, especially when their student smiled happily and politely left the two of them with a soft ‘good-bye’ after being dismissed.

“She’s got more spirit now.” Aizawa saw that in you again as he watched you walk away. “I knew she would find it again.” He always saw your potential; you just needed a little bit of a push. It worked too because now you were more than motivated now. He just wished he could have been the one to help you when that put you in a slump instead. And he wished that he didn’t make you cry…

“And I helped!” Yamada had to say that though, just to rub some salt in the wound. And Aizawa hated that it was irritating him this much. “But you’re right… she looks very determined now.” He snickered a bit.

“What’s so funny?” Aizawa asked him very curtly as he tried to not look as annoyed as he was feeling.

“With that fire in her… I bet whoever she fights tomorrow… she’s probably going to pretend that they’re you and punch them in the face.” Yamada smirked somewhat deviously at him, but then he shrieked when the other pro-hero glared at him with those angry, red eyes of his. Because deep down, he hoped that wasn’t true.

And unfortunately, it was.

Because the next day you were paired up against Kirishima. You were so full of a new-found energy and motivation that you were ready for this, and the first thing you did was punch him in the face before fighting, and you quickly won the match once you used your water quirk to its max level now that you had the fire back in you.

“Anybody else want some?!”

You shouted after successfully pinning Kirishima down and you were announced victorious. Quite a few of your classmates were startled, and some (especially Mineta) were terrified, even Bakugou looked mildly shocked by the spark you had shown them all. But you almost didn’t notice their reactions, but you were feeling amazing now; like you could do anything.

Although you DID quickly apologize to poor Kirishima afterwards, a lot in fact and you immediately felt guilty for beating him. But the sweet redhead just smiled and shrugged it off and happily congratulated you on your win. Even he could tell that you got a fire back in your stomach and he was happy for you.

“That felt good.” You smiled widely as you approached your closest friends Midoriya, Uraraka, Iida and Todoroki.

“Wow! (Y/N) I knew your quirk was strong but you… you really showed off even more power today…” Midoriya looked positively awed, his green eyes wide and practically sparkling in marvel.

“A most excellent performance (Y/N)! I think it was your best one yet! I’m proud of you!” Iida somewhat dramatically praised you, but he was clearly happy when he saw that you had a spark back in you.

“Oui. The sparkle in your eyes is back~.” You were hella surprised when Aoyama had remarked on your energy, but you still appreciated it. Even if you had no idea that he was aware of your struggles as you smiled at the blonde boy.

“Yeah! Are you kidding? You were more than good! You really showed everyone that you’re not to be messed with!” Uraraka then cheerfully praised you with a big grin, almost like she was amazed by you as you couldn’t help but hug the girl. “Aww! Guys thank you so much!!”

“No. Not good. Brilliant.” Todoroki gave you one of his rare smiles that he had reserved for you, which made you giggle and blush at all the compliments and praise your friends were giving you as you thanked each and every one of them personally. And your smile grew when you fondly thought about Mr. Yamada. You owed this to him after the way he helped you. And you would never forget it.

However, you couldn’t help but notice that after your battle with Kirishima that Mr. Aizawa was awfully silent and a little sulky afterward…

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