#havin a great time just sitting and existing rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

loafbud · 3 years

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Ramble time again-

Real talk, I may be a late-bloomer in this society and move a lot slower compared to the status quo. But like I told my family just now, I'd much rather take my time, invest in self-help books [and actually put in the work to self-care] to bring awareness to myself and "wake up", then to work at a high-paying job that [even with a nice environment] doesn't vibe with me.

See, me, I'm a soul-searcher. I'm not just here to live with society and have my creative passions as a side hustle. Naaaah, son.

I'm on a soul mission. I feel that while yeah, my life rn may not reflect it, I feel I have a bigger purpose in this world. Somehow. Somewhere. Sometime.

I wanna show this world that you CAN make a living off of your passions. You CAN have a job that makes your soul sing. Happiness is not something you search for: it's already within you, dang it—

I get that we need jobs in order to be securely in survival mode, in case shit goes down. But like..m ugh idk man, life should be more than just... the day-to-day junction? At this point, no way in hell I'm gonna thrive and survive in this society. I'm better off just making my own society.

This also goes for finding romance, too. I'd much prefer someone who was a Creative as I and who shares the same soul-deep life mission as I — we make our own projects but we collab on some as well, and like we'd just MAKE stuff together. Music, a podcast, anything. If you're hella talented with chiseled looks, yet you have a shitty, narcissistic personality with manipulation tactics, nah it's a "no" from me dawg.

I'd much rather, regardless of looks, that we'd be on that same level: spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Y'know what I mean? Be emotionally vulnerable and supportive, yet know and set healthy boundaries. Let's go 1-on-1 in Splatoon 2 and sit out in the grass on a retreat in some fields laying under the stars talking about astrological transits, then give each other tattoos while singing Persona 5 songs or somethin'. While we're together, giving each other some private space to recharge and stuff is also great as hell, too!

I've never dated or had a lover before, so I have no past experiences to share. I'm just aware of all the nasties and "what do avoids" when I notice other people discussing toxic exes, or like the stank stereotypes I be seein' on them Lifetime movies, like the crazy stalker or the vengeful cheerleader.

I know what I desire in someone is essentially a rare combination, so ofc my love life will prolly take years to even become existent. But I'm okay with that. I know they exist, tho. Like a soul connection that I feel but it's not in reach. My Pisces-havin' ass feels it. 🤧 I'm in no rush whatsoever. I don't think about it too much, coz I don't wanna feed myself with wishful dillusions.

WOW OK THIS WAS A LONG RAMBLE. I MEAN YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS IS TUMBLR. IT'S A BLOG SITE. THIS THE ONLY PLACE I CAN REALLY GO OFF AND RAMBLE...

#loafbud #loafbud rambles #talkbud

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