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writersblog20 · 2 years

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Overwhelmed

Henry Cavill x reader

Credits to gif maker!

Summary: After two weeks of keeping everything bottled up, it all shatters. But lucky Henry is there to teach you how it feels to be properly loved and taken care of.

Warnings: Depression, anxiety, mention of childhood trauma, small hints of suicidal feelings, cockwarming and a lot of fluff

Words: 4.8K

A/N: This is very much a comfort fic since it’s all a little too much for me.

Overwhelmed

You were sitting at home behind your laptop. The holiday seasons were coming up and you were beyond stressed. You couldn’t really tell why but everything just seemed way too much. You couldn’t focus, sleep correct, eat normal, hell you couldn’t even really function normally. And let’s not even mention work right now because even normal tasks seemed out of this world. That little voice in your head that you normally could silence became too loud. You felt like you weren’t good enough, you didn’t understand why Henry would want to be with you, why work wanted you. You just felt utterly and completely miserable and it was the first time in a very long time that you just wanted to give up.

You felt like you had nothing to live for and everyday became harder. You stared at your computer and felt emotions from I don’t care to I do care. You were exhausted and tired. “Y/N, you still here?” you boss asked through a zoom meeting. Henry looked up to you from the couch where he was reading the new script. “Eh yeah, I’m sorry.” You told them and uncomfortably shifted in your seat. Henry frowned, he knew something was up with you and you definitely weren’t your bright self anymore not only that but Kal seemed to not leave your side.

You didn’t talk a lot, eat a lot and he noticed you got out of bed way too often ,in the night, lately, you weren’t smiling a lot anymore. He could make a whole damn list but you weren’t talking about the problem and he didn’t wanted to cross any boundaries. He could see your eyes fill up with tears from a mile away. He knew you too well for this. he acted like he was reading the script but was listening to the conversation of your meeting, knowing you wouldn’t remember a lot of it in an emotional state.

After a hour and a half you said your goodbyes and went back to work. You had to carry a whole Christmas campaign and the only thing left was the finishing touches. You opened your documents and all of a sudden saw that all your work wasn’t there anymore. You started to search but you couldn’t find it. you texted your boss, asking if he deleted something from the dropbox, which he responded with a: no? You got behind your breathing, catching the attention from Henry again. Not only was he focused on you but also on Kal who tried to poke you with his nose and with his paw.

You called your boss and explained the problem. He told you that, that wasn’t possible but you sure as hell didn’t delete anything. And even the pictures you made got deleted. He asked you to make all the videos again and send them to him. Your stress level was beyond the roof now. You said that you were on it but the tears that slipped told you otherwise.

You stood up and walked away so Henry wouldn’t see you, Kal following you. You see, normally you would talk about your problems. Or well used to until your mom…. Every time you tried to talk to her about a problem that you had and you stayed calm, she would get frustrated with you, making you feel ten times worse and a huge burden. So you kept more to yourself but even that wasn’t enough. It wasn’t that you had a horrible mother, but she tackled a lot of things horribly wrong. This was one of them because now you were afraid of saying anything at all because you were scared that people would think that you were overreacting, wanted attention, were too much of trouble or a burden. So you kept quiet.

Henry didn’t really knew what to do anymore. Enough was enough but again he respected you and didn’t want to push you or anything. So he did second best and called your mom and a whole lot became clear to him why you didn’t talk about your problems as he heard your mother talk and her advice to him. He respected your mother but even he knew that this was terrible advice and would do the straight opposite of helping you. He frowned and felt a punch in his gut when he heard her talk so nonchalant. She really didn’t knew what, what she did was wrong.

“So the advice you gave me… you used that right?” Henry tried to ask your mother as respectful as possible. “Well, sometimes. She would go outside or upstairs.” She told Henry and he let his head down, knowing damn well why you walked away. He knew that you felt like a burden, trouble, not appreciated, not wanted he could continue in his head. “Why? You don’t think that’s going to work?” your mother asked Henry. “With all due respect ma’am… I don’t. if she talks about her problems in a calm manner, which she always did with me, and someone responds irritated, rolled their eyes, sighed or walked away…. That could do a lot of damage to that person. I don’t mean this disrespectfully but that’s the way I think about it and how I experience stuff with her.” He told her calmly. It was silence on the other side. “Oh no, I’ve handled it all wrong….” He could hear the tremble in her voice. “Well, it’s never too late to change in that….” He told your mom.

He hung up and let out a loud sigh. it was all coming together. When you had problems, not only did you have to deal with that but also your mom and it felt like walking on eggs. At least that’s how he imagines it.

He walked upstairs towards where you were. He walked in the bedroom and saw you covered in blankets, hidden from the world with Kal laying besides you as his snout was also covered underneath the blankets to get closer to you. It pained him to see you like this. He carefully walked towards the bed and sat down. “Hey sweetheart….” He told you very soft. He heard you sniffle. You didn’t even tried to hide it anymore. You couldn’t care less anymore but also you did and it frustrated you to no end. He placed his hand on the blankets, over your arm.

“I’m here for you, love.” You didn’t react and felt like you were in trouble and became scared even though he was really soft with you. You got from underneath the blankets and rubbed your face and tried to put up a smile. The feeling of being scared took the feeling of not caring away. “I just needed a ten minutes cry break, but I’m fine now.” Henry looked sad at you. It was worse then he thought. “Pup, are you scared your in trouble right now?” he asked you very carefully and questioning.

Your eyes became big. “I eh….no? it’s alright though I’m fine. It’s going to be okay…I should go back to work.” Your trembling voice gave you away like clear daylight. Your lip began to tremble and your eyes started to water. You wanted to walk away and cry somewhere else. “Pup…. Wait please. I know you’re not okay and I want to help you. I know what your mother did when you lived with her and I’m so sorry that, that happened, nobody should go through that, definitely not you pup.” He told you, grabbing your attention.

You looked surprised at Henry and he gave you a sympathetic glance which broke the dam. You’ve always been very sensitive and your mom was always really harsh. That’s because of how her father treated her but she projected that on to you. So every time, when you needed someone soft, it always was kind of like: Man up.

You so incredibly upset and started to bawl your eyes out. Henry had never seen you this upset but knew it was all build up emotions and that the dam broke in you. He quickly grabbed you and pulled you on his lap. He positioned himself on the bed better so his back was resting against the headboard. You wrapped your legs around him and he could feel you shake from all the stress and sadness. He softly shushed you and held you close, tucking your head in the crook of his neck as he softly rubbed your back and with his other hand held your head so you would feel safe.

He let you cry it all out. “It’s okay puppy, you’re safe here. I won’t ever do that, I know. you’re going to be okay. We’ll do this together, whatever you need. Your bear got you. You don’t ever have to be scared. You’re not a burden and I appreciate and love you so much and I’ll tell you as much is necessarily and even more. I love you so much pup.” He told you all the sweet and soft things you desperately needed to hear. It made you cry more but now because of relief and the feeling of being loved.

He rocked you a little and cuddled you as much as possible. You held onto Henry’s cardigan for dear life, like if you would let go, he would disappear. He kissed your forehead multiple times as he grabbed you tightly as well. “we’ll figure it out together, puppy.” You softly nodded and you felt the tears grow more and more. You both sat there for at least an hour before you finally calmed down. Your face felt raw from all the crying and you were beyond exhausted. “Let’s get some tea and call your boss that you need a little off time. Okay?” you immediately felt panic “no, I can’t. I have so much to do and..” he softly hushed you again “Pup, you need some time off. the world isn’t going to end, I know it feels like that but I promise you it won’t.” he told while he softly held your face between his palms so you would have to look at him.

You sniffled “I promise you. You did not fail this if you don’t do it, you’ve actually won because you take much needed rest for yourself.” He gave you a long kiss on your forehead. “I’ll be by your side and I promise it’s going to be okay. We’ll take little steps okay? Together.” He told you. You nodded and he helped you get up but pulled you into a hug before going downstairs “I’m so proud of you sweetheart, I really am. You’ve done enough now, let me take care of you for a little while now.” you felt the tears spill again because you’ve never felt this loved before. “And when or if you want to talk about what happened, so I can understand better, we’ll do it on your time, okay baby girl?” you nodded and gave him a very tired and sad smile. It felt like all you could do was cry.

He walked with you downstairs and instead of tea made you hot chocolate. You felt so stressed for the phone call but it had to happen. Henry sat next to you and gave you the phone with a soft reassuring smile. He grabbed you and pulled you sideways on his lap again, so your side was resting against him and your legs laid over his lap. You called your boss and you felt nauseous. Henry drew patterns on your skin, so you would be a little calmer. Your boss picked up and you told him what had happened and that you weren’t feeling great so you had to take some time of to sort yourself out. “I can only applaud that, Take care Y/N/N ( your nickname)” he told you. He did asked if you wanted to keep him informed but you told him that you would do that when you felt a little better.

You got off from the call and felt like you could breath again. Henry smiled at you “Good job pup, no more hard things today. I’m so proud of you.” you cuddled up against him. you decided on telling him what happened with your mom and Henry listened intently with a sad look on his face. he told you more reassuring words and he meant everything. “I’m going to show you how it’s really done to love someone in their dark days. And I know this might feel weird or unfamiliar but trust me with this. I love you so much and I only want the best for you. So if you’ll let me, I would like to take care of you.” you teared up and nodded.

Everything just made so much sense right now. like in the beginning of your relationship, you told Henry that you loved to cuddle and stuff but when he did, it felt weird and indeed unfamiliar. You didn’t know how to act at that point but he taught and showed you about the normal things. That was the moment Henry knew there was something going on and it wasn’t only from bad relationships. It was like you’ve been never properly loved. He had patience with you and like I said showed you how it’s done in the correct way. He also showed you how it is to love yourself again and you knew that you would both figure this out too but like he said: Little steps for now.

You felt yourself grow tired and Henry smiled. “Why don’t we go for a walk in the snow with Kal, then take a nap ( because you clearly need it), and in the evening go to a Christmas market? How does that sounds pup?” You gave him a tired smile “Yeah that sounds good.” He gave you a kiss on your forehead again. “Get some peace in that busy head of yours.” You nodded and he helped you stand up as he called Kal.

Henry helped you into your coat and put a scarf around you. He pulled you by the end of the scarf closer so he could kiss you and after that kiss your nose. He gave you your mittens and got dressed yourself. Kal was already circling the both of you and Henry gave you the leash to hold Kal. He knew that you and Kal shared just as much of a special connection as he did with Kal. He smiled as he held the door open for you.

Kal seemed to be really gentle when it came to you, always by your side and never pulling on the leash what he sometimes did when Henry walked him. Henry took your hand in his and you both made your way. You walked into the forest together and you could see the snow softly falling.

After a walk from half a hour you both got inside again. Henry got upstairs with you and you looked confused at him. “I’m staying with you pup.” He told you casually and you frowned. “You don’t have to bear…” he cut you off with a smile “Pup, I want to, don’t worry about it. now let’s get comfortable.” He told you and got rid of his clothes, helping you out of them as well.

When you felt really bad, you liked to have skin to skin contact and nothing underneath your touch. He got you into bed and tucked you in, making you chuckle. Well that’s another win for today, making you chuckle. He thought as he crawled in next to you with a smile. He scooped you closer with ease and laid you against his side, so you could hide away. He softly went with his finger tops over your head, as it always seem to relax you. “You can rest now pup, you’ve done so well. You’re allowed to rest.” he told you. It always helped since you didn’t really give yourself permission to rest so when someone else say it, it helped. You snuggled closer to his chest as he held you tightly.

“I love you bear, thank you so much.” He smiled and gave you another kiss on your head. “You don’t have to thank me sweetheart. I love you too, now get some rest.” you nodded and it didn’t take long for you to fell asleep. Henry just watched you and carefully brushed the hair out of your face and kept massaging your head and just tried to make you as comfortable as he could before hugging you close to his chest.

After an hour or so you woke up. You looked up and you saw Henry giving you a soft loving smile, which you returned. He gave you a sweet kiss on the lips and tried to put all his love in that kiss, making you out of breath. You chuckled and felt shy as you tucked your head back against his chest. “You still want to go to the market or do you want to do something else?” he asked you genuinely. “No, it sounds nice. I’d like to go if you want.” You told him and he smiled. “Okay, let’s get dressed then.” He told you.

You both got out of bed and Henry put one of his hoodies over your head before putting some clothes on himself. You got into your pants/or jeans and put your boots on. Henry got you dr.Martens not so long ago and you’ve loved them so much that you would wear them a lot.

You both got downstairs, gathered your stuff and got into his car. He held your hand as he drove, or would rest his hand on your upper leg so you had at least some contact. Henry was just as clingy as you could be and it was a perfect fit.

It didn’t took long before you arrived. You looked at Henry and he immediately grabbed your hand with a smile and kissed the top of your hand. You looked around and it was beautiful. It was so big and the whole town was decorated in Christmas ornaments. Soft Christmas music was playing through the speakers and you both walked towards the market. You’ve bought some homemade bath things and paint. After an hour and a half of shuffling through the market, you found a nice spot where you could buy some hot chocolate, glue wine and all the good stuff with some pastries. There was this circle by the firepit where there was a choir singing. All of that and the snow that was still falling, was just a whole mood.

You got some glue wine and Henry got a coffee with some pastries. You both sat down by the fire but where you would be a little more closed off from the people. “Thank you for taking me here. It’s really nice bear.” He smiled and softly grabbed your hand. “You’re more than welcome puppy.” You smiled and just could melt on the spot. It felt lie heavy weights had been lifted off of you. It wasn’t gone or anything but at least you got Henry right now who wanted to take care of you and didn’t wanted you to worry about a goddamn thing.

He leaned a little over the table to give you a quick kiss, making you smile. God you loved this man. “how about when we’re done here, we go to the store, get some snacks, go home and take a shower or a bath, whatever you prefer, and then watch a Christmas movie?” you smiled at him “I still can’t believe I got this lucky to have you.” he chuckled this time as he wasn’t expecting that answer and it almost made him shy. “Believe me when I say, I’m the lucky one.” He told you but you just hummed as you stared at him. He knew that he could say whatever but you wouldn’t really listen to it anyway.

After you both drank your hot beverage, you walked along the market to get back to the car. You saw a whole section in the market dedicated to snacks, cookies and sweets. You tugged on Henry’s coat and he looked at you. “or… we just get snacks from here so we don’t have to go to the store at all.” you told him and he smiled cheekily at you. “Well, that sounds like a really good plan.” He told you, making you chuckle. You both walked towards all the goodies and you were focused on what to get, while Henry would just watch you with an adoring and loving smile on his face.

Words couldn’t even express how much he loved you. He would literally jump in front of a bullet for you. You were talking to him but he was just mesmerized by you and stared. You looked at him when you didn’t hear anything. You saw him dreamingly smile at you, making you chuckle but also felt a little flustered. “Bear….?” You asked again, getting him out of thoughts. “Mhm?” he asked and you chuckled.

“Which one should I take?” you questioned at him about the snacks. He didn’t even looked at them when he said “Get them both.” And put them in the basket. You chuckled and walked further. Henry following you as you held his hand.

After you were done, Henry gladly paid for all the snacks. You thanked him with a kiss and both walked back to the car. You held hands again when he was driving. Once home you both put everything down and walked upstairs. “Let’s take a shower. That’s faster, I want to cuddle.” You told him and he chuckled. “Well that’s sorted.” He told you and you giggled. Henry got into the shower with you. “Here let me.” he told you softly as he grabbed the shampoo bottle out of your hand. He softly massaged your head with the shampoo. After he rinsed it out and put the conditioner in, you did the same with him. Only thing different was that he was much taller than you. You stood on your tippy toes to reach his head. He held you by your waist so you wouldn’t slip or anything. You placed some soap in his chest hair and softly went with your hands through it. He looked amused down at you and placed his finger underneath your chin so he could give you a kiss. The kiss was passionate, loving and slow, in a good way. It made your heart flutter

He placed his arms around you and pulled you closer to his chest. You let your head rest against his chest and he kept giving you kisses on the top of your head. After a while you both rinsed each other off and got out. He softly dried you off and you let him. He smiled, knowing it was hard for you to completely surrender to him and let him take total care of you. You got into some clean comfortable clothes expect for the hoodie. You liked the smell of Henry and it made you feel safe. You both got downstairs and he put the fireplace on and all the fairy lights for Christmas and of course the tree itself.

You hoped on the couch and Kal was with you in no time. You petted the Akita while Henry made some tea. You searched for a good movie and picked out Elf. The best Christmas comedy there was. Henry walked back into the living room and seated next to you, placing a blanket over you as you snuggled into his hoodie with your nose. He pulled you a little closer so he could hold you. You crawled up against his side. he noticed how much more relaxed you were than you were in the last two weeks and smiled at you. You felt his gaze on you and you looked at him. he placed a long kiss on your forehead before he placed his fingers underneath your chin again. He didn’t kissed you yet but said : “Together.” While he looked deeply and lovingly into your eyes. You smiled softly at him: “Together.” You repeated, making him smile and gave you a long loving kiss.

He pulled you with him so you’d both lay down on the couch. His entire body engulfed you, making it the safest place on earth. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close to his chest for the entire movie. You both chuckled at the movie and for the first time, you felt okay again. It wasn’t great but at least it was okay. When the movie ended you turned around in his grasp. He lifted his arms a little so you could turn around easier. Once done so, you hid your face against his chest again and used it as a safe haven. You could hear the rumble coming from his chest as he chuckled at you.

“why don’t we go upstairs so we can cuddle properly…”he hinted as he was such a broad man, and the couch was just a little too small for him let alone the both of you. You chuckled and nodded in agreement. “We need a bigger couch bear.” He chuckled and looked at the couch. “Yeah we probably should.”

After getting freshened up and completely ready for bed, you crawled in. Still wearing Henry’s shirt since it was pretty cold. Henry came out naked and smirked as he found you in his shirt. He crawled in next to you. “Let me warm you up baby.” He told you as he nuzzled your nose and felt how cold it was. He figured pretty quickly that, that was why you kept the shirt on. You nodded and let him take the shirt off of you.

You shivered and he pulled you closer to him. he could feel the goosebumps form on your body. Henry was a walking heater but you were shivering pretty bad in his arms. “Let me warm you up completely. Do you trust me?” he asked you. you looked curious at him and nodded carefully. He slipped off your panties, waiting if you wanted him to stop but you never gave that hint to him. you gave him a small nod that he could continue. His fingers found your folds and he softly rubbed circles on your clit, making you moan in reaction. You softly bucked your hips against his hand but his other hand found your waist, stopping you. he softly shook his head and gave you a loving smile.

You really didn’t understand what he was planning right now but let him do his thing. He continued rubbing and you moaned a little louder “Shhs baby, it’s okay.” He gave you a quick kiss to muffle your moans. Once he found you wet enough, he stroked his cock a few times, even though he was already pretty hard from your moans. Before he continued, he looked at you again with a questioning look if he could continue. You gave him another nod, waiting for what he was about to do. He placed his cock by your entrance and softly put his cock inside of you. You moaned as Henry filled you up, and Henry grunted a little from the tightness that enveloped him. Once he was in he laid there still and you looked confused at him. You moved a little, making him grunt more until his hands found your waist again and he stopped you, making you frown. “Not tonight pup, let’s just cuddle right now.” he told you a little out of breath because of the friction that you had created. Now you started to understand and nodded at him. He softly smiled at you and placed his hand against your cheek, pulling you in for a make out session but stopped as soon as you tried to create a friction again.

He pulled you closer to his chest but you could feel his cock go deeper, making you bot grunt and moan. “Sorry.” He said. You just placed a kiss on his chest and let him hold you tightly. It was your first time cockwarming but it was really nice. How you’ve never tried this before was beyond you. this was exactly what you needed right now. You needed the skin to skin contact but having him this close was even better as he filled you up precisely. He held you tightly against him and placed his arms around you. It was also really helping against the cold and you fell into a much needed, peaceful sleep.

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let-me-be-your-home · 3 years

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For all those trashing Jensen Ackles

FIRSTLY, It’s hilarious how 99 percent of you either haven’t watched the show or you haven’t seen it in years and are just jumping on the bandwagon to believe a rumor started by fans whose ship did not get validated by him.

Jensen Ackles is NOT homophobic.

You know where this rumor has started? The fans of the ship have started it. And why? Because Jensen was true to his character? If the character was written straight, and was written in a way that Dean perceives Castiel as his FRIEND or brother ( as he has himself mentioned) Jensen will HAVE to speak for it as it is. That is how Dean Winchester was written, loyal, a good human, a badass hunter, a selfless being, who loves his family, and most importantly his brother to death. He’s loyal to a fault and once he befriends someone he doesn’t leave their side. THAT is what Dean Winchester is. And that is how he played him. Jensen Ackles has played characters with varied sexual preferences before, you could probably research - He’s done so with Patrick Dempsey. More than anything Jensen was just being true to his character - Whether on conventions or as he plays it. Dean was written straight and Jensen has always maintained he’s played him with that in mind because it was originally written.

Last I checked it is not a crime to be straight and neither is it a crime to speak for a character you have played for 15 yrs. What he speaks for his FICTIONAL CHARACTER does not define his real persona.

Moreover, even if Castiel has feelings for Dean, IT IS okay for Dean to nor feel the same. One person can love another without it being romantic. No matter how Cas views his relation with Dean or perceives his feelings for Dean. Dean Winchester has EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL DIFFERENTLY. Secondly

Hypothetically even if Dean did feel the same about Cas, mind you EVEN IF (I DO NOT believe he does) BUT IF HE DOES - HOW do you expect him to respond. Castiel is basically giving him a goodbye speech. JUST seconds ago he told Dean about a deal he made - with the price being his life. Billie is knocking on one door, The Empty is coming from another. Dean had no time to react. HE was stunned, shocked and numb. He has no time to let the news of Cas’s deal to sink in, then Cas is praising him and talking of the good Dean has done, of how Dean should value himself. MIND YOU, THIS is not the first time Cas has said I love you, he’s said it to Dean and all of the Winchesters a while now. So this isn’t news to Dean. But it is news that Cas is about to sacrifice himself, his friend is about to die in a matter of minutes. God forbid you are in a similar position with SO MUCH going on, will you be able to react or do ANYTHING in the span of 15 seconds? GET FREAKING REAL. Since you don’t watch the show, let me tell you - Dean has always reacted dumbfoundedly when praised or his positive aspects highlighted. THAT is how Dean always has been. His low self esteem and self deprecation always makes it harder for him to respond to praise. If you would have bothered to see the full episode, you’d see Sam praised him earlier and Dean did not accept or found it hard to accept the praise. THAT Is just how Dean is. I think Cas and Dean even without talking know this, that the way they view their relation or fondness for each other is different. Castiel knew this. HE SAID IT. THE SCRIPT SAID IT.

So just stop accusing a good person, an incredible actor for doing something he hasn’t done. IT IS NOT HIS FAULT that all of you do not understand that love can be one sided. Relationships can go far and beyond romance. Relations can be profound in friendships, they can be platonic. NOT EVERYTHING IS SEXUAL OR ROMANTIC. This is in no way, any disrespect to the people who feel represented, who are from the LGBTQ community or even who aren’t but feel strongly for it. I DO TOO. I stand for it, I want it to be as normal in the world, as breathing is. BUT by bullying a character and most importantly a PERSON/ A HUMAN BEING for just being honest to how his character is written, how he was told to play it. AND for simply speaking his part of the truth to the fans so as not to wrongly bait them is NOT HOMOPHOBIC. If at every convention Jensen is questioned about a ship or the character’s sexuality is specified to be something he knows it isn’t - SHOULD he just lie to you to please you? When he knows Dean was NOT written like that? As shippers you have every right to feel validated, and to view your ship the way you see fit. BUT then Jensen has the same rights over a character he knows since it originated. Once again - feelings can be one sided and relations/love can be platonic... A joke or accusation that started in the fandom just because Jensen chose to stay true to his character and not lie has turned too big and notorious. PLEASE STOP. Jensen Ackles does not deserve this.

#I stand with Jensen Ackles #Jensen Ackles #Supernatural #Supernatural Season 15 #SPN #supernatural s15e18 #spn 15x18 #spn 15.18 #Misha Collins #Dean Winchester #Castiel #destiel #despair

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castiel-left-his-mark-on-me · 3 years

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Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

#omg #I don't even know if this makes sense #this took way too long to write #j2 #cockles #long post #spn family #so glad you see you back again my dear #welcome to hell #it's hotter now

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windsource · 3 years

Note

Can someone please f**king explain to me the 4 times Destiel went canon?!? I can't keep up! Yesterday it was 3, today it's four and all I somehow know is Cas' confession and Spanish Dub™️. Y'all are going so wild right now that it seems everytime I log on it's canon again and I'm too late to find out how cause some other bull has occurred in between. Please help me!

sure! so, here’s a timeline of spn gate and pretty much a quick rundown of everything that has happened since march. but if you want it plain and simple, here are the four times destiel went canon:

1. 15x18, cas’ confession to dean where he says “I love you” 2. 15x18 is released in mexico, with the spanish dub of dean responding to cas’ “I love you” with “And I, you, Cas.” (”Y yo a ti, Cas”) aka, showing that dean reciprocates 3. 15x18 scripts are leaked, wherein we can see that a lot of lines were cut from the confession, especially from dean. from cas’ pov, we learn that he thinks dean is “still beautiful. still dean winchester.” and that their moment was “cut short” (among other things) 4. during a panel with memo rojas, dean’s voice actor who said the line “Y yo a ti, Cas,” we learn that he believes dean winchester is in love with cas, that the line was modified because it “made sense,” and were given contradictory statements as to whether or not dean saying “me too” was in the original script

#the last thing was jenmish beer theory but #not destiel #if i missed smth let me know #ely answers #spn #destiel #s16 #faq #ref #my post #anonymous

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sherlockmeowlmes · 3 years

Text

Jensen’s comments on 15x18

(Source: @DeansSqueeQueen on Twitter)

DeansSqueeQueen: How was that scene emotionally being filmed? And also we never got to see Dean’s reaction because Cas got taken so fast. How do you think, if we had time, how he would have responded to him?

Jensen: Umm great question and it’s funny because I have, all season, in fact I don’t even remember the last time, maybe a big huge season ender or something and i don’t know who’s responsible for this because I would love to say thanks alot you jerk umm but they sent me a reaction video. It’s like a real time critique from a real fan and I found it fascinating. Like I said I don’t know, I rarely ever do it, I did it for 18 and I wanted to see what the reaction was, and that quickly led to, I didn’t want to go on Twitter you know.

DeansSqueeQueen: It was trending you know

Jensen. Yeah Misha sent me that, he was like, hey dude the episode is trending right now, and I was actually driving home from Colorado. So I was on like a road trip so I didnt get to see the reaction, so when I got home, uh, I looked up a few of the fan kind of reaction videos and there was one, this one guy who was the most beautifully reactionary kind of person you would want. And he was so emotional and I felt like he went through a couple boxes of tissues. But he was so emotional about that scene, and he had to pause it a few times, it was just really entertaining. I sent that over to Misha, and he sent me another one back, and so then I became really interested and wondered what the fan reaction is.

Then I watched the show, actually watched the episode, and I will say that some of Dean’s reaction of what I played into Dean, they did not use. Uh, in the final edit. But also some of the stuff Misha played in to his side was cut. And that’s very common, editors will trim up things to speed up a scene, to the point, they call it taking the air out of the scene. Taking the air out, and they’ll kind of condense it and it’ll be a concentrated version of that scene that was filmed.

I knew that scene would be, I mean obviously we’re saying goodbye to one of the most beloved characters to ever be on Supernatural. And uh also one of my dear friends, I actually had uh, i had one of our crew members take my phone. I was like will you just take pictures of this, and maybe some videos, because I want to remember this from my perspective, and not Dean’s perspective that’s on the screen, because that will be a highly edited version with music and visual effects and special effects and all that stuff and I want to remember this, I want to be able to go back and watch this, uh, from my, from Jensen’s perspective on how this happened between two friends irl and two friends in character life, and I was really pleased.

Misha had a tall order that day, for me I just had to be there and watch him kind of go through that emotion and get that all out and it was a beautifully written script and Bob Berens did a good job of crafting that dialogue. From Dean’s perspective, and Misha and I have talked about this, we’ve talked about this prior to filming that scene, during that scene, and we’ve talked about it since. I’ve actually talked to him uh, a lot this past week, about the reaction, what we want to add to that reaction, how we want to navigate that. Because we’re getting a lot of questions about what do you think, what do you mean, what was your intent, and he and i both kind of talked about, well if you, and this may be a little a little too out there but go with me here, well artists don’t stand in a gallery next to their painting and tell you exactly what you should be seeing.

And I kind of, I hope it doesn’t sound like a cop out, because it’s not meant to be, its truly meant to be. I knew where Jensen was in that scene, I also was making a choice for Dean in that scene. I kind of knew what I was trying to play with him, but at the same time what came across from a visual standpoint and a storytelling standpoint, and the audience perspective could be a multitude of things. And I would just, I would never want to tell someone what they should and shouldn’t see. Um, and not that, and again I’m not trying to do a cop out because I know it was a very important scene on a variety of levels, but I kind of, and I always thought i mean i’ll give you guys a little bit of an insight into.

There were no choices made on Dean’s part, and I hope I made that apparent because he was dealing with something far greater than what Cas was expressing to him. He was dealing with his friend was about to die. So I’m not sure that Dean absorbed or processed anything that was coming out of his mouth at that moment. And I will say that they were cornered. You know you had these two characters who only know how to fight and they were in a corner that couldn’t get out of So you couple that with the fact that now this person, this best friend is now going to sacrifice himself. I think it was all too much for one human to kind of absorb.

But you also have to remember that Cas is a celestial being, and he’s thinking in a way that might not be comprehensible by a human heart or by a human brain. So the things that he says I always from Dean’s perspective, I don’t know if I understand where he’s coming from or what he means from a humanistic stand point, even though he kind of transferred into a human over the course of twelve years. But he was always coming from this, there was always an angelic aspect to him that Dean may, or may not have understood. So I don’t know, don’t know how humanistic the feelings being professed at that moment were, or maybe they were, maybe that was what was happening. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer. I think that’s the beauty of what this story gives you, hopefully it gives everybody something.

#jensen ackles #destiel #15x18 #deancas #supernatural

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bi-bard · 3 years

Text

Carry On - Winchester Brothers Imagine (Supernatural)

Title: Carry On

Characters: Sam and Dean (father figures), Castiel (father figure of sorts), Jack (romantic)

Requested: Nope

Word Count: 3,331 words

Warning(s): SPOILERS FOR THE END OF SUPERNATURAL, character death, cussing, sobbing, a lot of pain

Summary: (Season 15, Episode 20) After losing Jack and Castiel, (Y/n) thought it was over. However, even when he doesn't have power, Chuck seems to have a twist written in his story.

Author's Note: Here it is. The promised finale rewrite. I am using the plot that I used in the script rewrite that I did. WHICH IS NOW UP AND YOU SHOULD READ IT BECAUSE IT'S NEARLY 30 PAGES AND TOOK ME A WHILE TO WRITE IT!

CLICK HERE!

Due to how long this was, this only addresses 15x20. 15x18 and 15x19 will be written about separately because there's a lot to unpack there. Check my original character post here to check to see if they're up yet!

---------------------------------------

It was supposed to be a good day.

The last few months had been hard.

Castiel died. Jack became God. It was just Sam, Dean, and me.

Dean was overjoyed when he found out about the Akron annual pie festival. It was a chance for all of us to relax.

On the way there, I sat in the backseat quietly. Dean had glanced back at me. It was scary to think about how all three of us seemed to go through the same thing all at once. Each seeming to lose the love of our lives.

"Kid," I looked over at Dean. "How are you feeling?"

"Just tired," I mumbled.

That wasn't even a lie.

I was tired. I was absolutely exhausted. It had been a few months since Jack and Cas had left us. I tried to keep myself from bringing the boys down too far.

We were all trying to be there for each other. Some days were better than others but I hadn't gotten past the tired feeling that weighed me down every morning.

"Are you sure," Dean asked. I nodded, giving him a small grin. "Okay."

We pulled up to the pie fest and Dean looked like a kid on Christmas. He ran off to get pie. Sam and I found a bench and took a moment to sit in silence.

"Why haven't you reached out to Eileen," I asked. Sam looked at me but didn't respond. "We know she's alive. Jack brought everyone back."

"I just... I don't want to drag her back into this," he replied. "She doesn't deserve this."

I leaned on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his torso. He hugged me back. I moved back when Dean walked over with a big box with several pieces of pie inside.

"Alright, no more sad faces," Dean said. He was the king of denying his feelings. He passed us each a fork. "Pie can make almost anyone feel better."

I took a bite of the piece that in front of me. Sam had different ideas. He moved me slightly as he picked up a piece of pie and smushed it against Dean's face.

I put my hand over my mouth as I started to laugh at him.

"You're right," Sam nodded. "I feel much better."

"So do I," I replied.

Dean glared at us.

Then... there was an earthquake.

Except it only lasted a few seconds. Sam and I stood up instantly. An earthquake lasting seconds was an instant call for us to get involved.

Dean looked at his pie and pouted at us. He sighed, standing up to place the pie on the bench. He wiped his face as he followed us to the car.

Sam found that the epicenter of the incident was about an hour outside of town.

Dean pulled the car to a stop as we spotted a tear in the Earth. It looked like the one Chuck had made when he released all the souls from hell.

Jack was standing on the edge of the tear.

"Jack," I called, scared to walk too close to the hole.

"Hello," they waved at us.

I chuckled at him before jogging over and hugging him.

"I've missed you," I mumbled.

"I missed you too," they replied. Jack stepped back, grabbing my hand and walking toward Sam and Dean. "I'm happy you're all here."

"So you know what's happening," Sam asked. Jack nodded. "What is it?"

"Amara," Jack explained. "When Chuck... absorbed her, she didn't actually become his equal. He was draining her. The less darkness there is-"

"The less balance," I finished their thought. They nodded.

"Someone needs to be a vessel for the darkness... for the mark," Jack continued.

"So, we've gotta find you a sister," Dean asked.

"It's not that easy," they replied. "It needs to be someone who's had the mark."

"So it has to be...," Dean trailed off. We all looked at him. There was silence as he walked away for a moment. I flinched when he hit the impala. "Son of a bitch!"

We all kept quiet.

"We worked our asses off to get that damn mark off of my arm," he seethed. "I went through hell and back!"

I walked over and touched his arm. He flinched, causing me to move back. When he saw me, his face softened. It was like acceptance. He sighed, pulling me into a hug. We stood there for a moment in silence.

"Don't go," I mumbled. I felt like that small child they saved. All over again, I was scared and confused and just wanted to hold onto everything I cared about. "Please."

"(Y/n)," he muttered, stepping back. Sam walked over to us. "I worked my ass off to get rid of that mark... but I also worked my ass off to keep everyone safe. I'm not going to let the world end if I can stop it."

"But...," I trailed off. I felt selfish but I had already lost so much. I didn't want to say goodbye to anything else.

"Look at me," Dean said. "Both of you, look at me."

Sam and I looked at Dean.

"You two are my world," he explained. "If I can save you, then that's what matters. My job is to protect you. Both of you."

I sniffled as my eyes filled with tears.

"I love you both," he continued. He pulled Sam, mumbling into his ear. I couldn't quite make out what was being said. He pulled me into another hug after him. "You're my kid, got it? I don't want you to forget how amazing you are. You're a badass, kid. You've saved people, you've become an unstoppable force. I love you."

"I love you too, Dean," I said, clutching onto his jacket. "You're my hero."

"I'm no hero, kid," he stepped back.

"You're saving the world, you're a hero," I replied.

Dean smiled at me before walking forward. He stood in front of Jack.

"I'm sorry," Jack said quietly.

"No one's mad at you," Dean promised. Jack looked at Sam and me. I smiled at them as best I could. They were not the villain here.

We watched Dean reach his hand out to Jack. Jack grabbed Dean's hand. As bright light surrounded them, Sam and I looked away.

When we looked back, they were gone and the tear was closed. Balance had been restored.

I looked at Sam. He pulled me into a hug instantly.

I don't know how long we stood there. I just remember feeling so lost and scared. I didn't know what was next or how to find out. It was terrifying.

Our drive home was quiet. I curled up in the passenger seat of Baby and stared out the window. I let tears fall silently, not wanting to distract Sam from driving. I could feel him looking at me every couple of minutes but I didn't want to look back at him.

We pulled up to the bunker. It didn't feel right. Nothing about this felt right. The bunker felt off. It was like the universe had shifted off of its axis.

Sam was closing the door as I walked down the stairs. I could point everywhere that Dean was supposed to be. Where Cas was supposed to be. Where Jack was supposed to be.

I made it to the threshold between the library and the map room before I just couldn't go any farther. I let my legs give out and fell on the floor.

And I screamed.

Had it been any other day, I would’ve scared Sam. Hell, I would’ve scared myself. Now, I was too angry for all of that.

I sobbed and cursed and screamed.

At any force that had a hand to play in my life. At any force that tried to make my life their favorite game or story. At any force that would listen.

And in my darkest moment, I was something to be feared.

Sam knelt next to me, pulling me into a hug. I pushed and punched like I was trying to get away from him. He just held on. He closed his eyes and held on tighter. The only thing in the world that didn’t fear me in that moment was Sam.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," he mumbled into my hair. He blamed himself for me being in this life. He always had. Dean had too.

"Everything," I sobbed. "They... took... everything!"

"I know," I felt him kiss the top of my head and start rubbing my back.

Dean’s dog walked over, nudging me with his nose so I would put my hand on his fur.

I sobbed until I couldn't anymore. My throat hurt and it felt like someone had punched me in the head.

“Can you stand,” Sam asked. I shrugged. Slowly, he guided me off the floor. “There you go. Come on. I know you’re probably not tired but you should probably lay down.”

“I’m sorry,” I said as we walked down the hall of the bunker. “You’ve lost so much too… I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head, “None of that is your fault.”

Sam pushed my door open and let me walk inside. All I did was pull off my combat boots and lay down. Sam threw my blankets over me.

“Will you stay here,” I asked. “Please?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

I nodded, thanking him quietly. He closed my door on his way out. I rolled over onto my back.

I stared at my ceiling. With a sigh, I sat up, clasping my hands together. I didn’t know if anyone was listening or if anyone could hear at all, but it made me feel a little bit better.

“Hi Jack,” I said quietly, my voice already shaking. “I know being God is important work and that you’re busy but… I wanted to say that I love you and I miss you. I know you’re doing great things. I just hope you can find the time to visit one day. Thank you for letting me feel loved… no matter how long it was for… you will never know how grateful I truly am for that. I love you.”

I took a deep breath as my tears started all over again.

“Hi Dean,” I continued. “I have so many things to say to you. But I want you to know that I’m not angry with you. I never was. I probably never could be. Thank you. Thank you for saving me, helping me, making me a better hunter… being like a father to me. You’ve helped raise me and I’ll never forget you. I miss you, Dean. And I love you. Also, I know what Cas said to you before the Empty got him. And I hope you two have found a way to be happy together.”

My door opened and Sam walked in with a blanket or two, a pillow, and the cot I packed for hunts. He furrowed his eyebrows at me. He put everything down quietly.

“And Cas,” I said. Sam just sat on the edge of my bed, listening. “You raised a great kid. If my instincts are correct, then Jack fixed what happened to you. You and I met the boys around the same time. The last thing any of us expected was for an angel to become such an important part of our lives. You have saved me more times than I can count. You’ve helped me through everything. I hope that you’re okay. You deserve happiness, Cas. You’ve done so much good for the world. I hope you and Dean are happy, wherever you are. Thank you for helping to raise me. Thank you for making my life so much better. Goodbye.”

I dropped my hands and closed my eyes. Sam scooted over and hugged me again.

“Do you think they could hear me,” I asked.

“Yeah, I really do,” Sam replied.

I didn’t know it then, but Sam had spent the whole drive home praying silently to them. Begging them for help and for comfort. He felt like he had failed me last time he was on his own… and he didn’t understand that I wasn’t angry. I would only learn that later when I found that he had written it somewhere.

I leaned back. I saw Sam was holding back tears. I carefully leaned up, kissing his forehead, mumbling that it was okay if he needed to cry.

That’s when he walks crumbled.

Sam started shaking and he hugged me again. I ran a hand through his hair. I pressed a gentle kiss to the side of his head.

For a moment, as Sam and I sit in our pain, comforting and hurting all at once, I could’ve sworn I heard something.

It was quiet. And it felt like I could’ve imagined it.

But I could’ve sworn I heard a small chorus of “Thank you” and “Love you too.”

The idea gave me a strange sense of comfort.

"Hey," Sam wiped his eyes as he leaned back. He grabbed something behind him. I chuckled as he handed me my old wolf plushie. "I spotted it on Jack's bed on the way back."

I smiled at it.

"I'm not going anywhere," Sam promised. "Not again. I won't do that again."

I nodded.

"Do you think Cas and Dean found each other," I asked, messing with the ears of the plushie.

"I don't think Jack would let Cas stay in the Empty," Sam mumbled. I nodded again.

"I just... I need a win, y'know?"

Sam nodded.

We sat in silence for a while. Sam moved to rest against the wall and I just leaned back on his shoulder. Somehow, we both managed to fall asleep.

--Next Day--

I woke up to the bunker door shutting. I looked over and Sam was still there. So... who the hell was at the door?

I carefully grabbed the gun I kept in my bedside drawer (a habit passed along by the brothers). I walked down the hall slowly, my gun raised. I heard footsteps in the library.

"Hey," I yelled, aiming my gun at the figure. Nothing. I walked close enough to press my gun into their back.

“It’s me,” Eileen said and held her hands up. I moved so she could turn around.

"Eileen," I asked. She nodded. "Sam!"

I placed the gun on the table and pulled her into a tight hug. She hugged me back. I almost sobbed into her shoulder.

There it was. The win I needed.

I stepped back when I heard Sam run in. He looked at Eileen and then at me and then back to Eileen. He did the same thing I did, running over and pulling her into a hug.

I stepped back, letting them have their moment together without any interference.

My heart still hurt, knowing I wasn't going to get a moment like that, but I was still happy to see them smile so much. If anyone deserved it, it was them.

--Time Skip--

Years passed.

Sam and Eileen went on to live the apple pie life. A son named Dean, a nice house, they had it all. I had begged them to find their perfect life. I would visit, call, and do anything to keep in touch and protect them.

I stayed in the bunker as long as possible, along with Miracle. I started hunting with Claire and Alex. Once I got too old to actually go out hunting, I became a hub for supplies, lore checks, and cover for the hunters trying to fake being F.B.I. To put it simply, I had become Bobby.

I was there when Sam died. Eileen and their son offered me a place to stay, but I refused. I wanted to go back to the bunker.

I was aware of when it was my time to go. I passed the bunker onto two hunters that had proven themselves time and time again.

They reminded me of Sam and Dean. Compassionate and brave. The strength of a hunter lived inside of them. They promised to take care of the bunker.

Sam's son and the two young hunters were there when I died. Many of the people I knew were gone before I passed on. They either had grown old or they were hunters and had a shorter life expectancy than most. Those three comforted me, promising that it was going to be okay when I left.

I was shocked when I found myself on a path surrounded by trees. I understood that it had to be heaven but it wasn't one of my memories. It was strange. I looked down at myself. I was back in the body of my 21-year-old self.

I walked up the pathway and found a bridge. In the middle was the impala. Dean and Cas stood there, holding hands and talking to Sam, who was leaning on the railing. Dean spotted me first, his eyes widening as he realized who I was.

"(Y/n)," he yelled.

"Dean," I took off running at the same time he did.

We met halfway, hugging each other tightly. Dean laughed in my ear as he picked me up. He put me back down, grabbing the sides of my face.

"Is this real," I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah, kid, it's real," he replied.

I stepped back. Sam looked like I had so distinctly remembered, obnoxiously nice hair, no grey yet. It was like he had never aged after Dean had left.

"Sammy," I mumbled, running over to hug him. He hugged me just as tight as Dean. "Your son is amazing. You would be so proud of him."

"I know I would," he replied. "You were there to keep an eye on him."

I stepped back and looked at Cas.

"Gosh," I said. He smiled at me. "You came back."

He nodded, looking down at himself. I ran into a hug, kind of jumping on him. I closed my eyes. He made Dean happy and I couldn't ask for anything more.

"I'm happy for you and Dean," I whispered.

Cas chuckled in my ear, "Thank you."

I opened my eyes and almost fell over. I pulled back and Cas grinned at me like he instantly knew who I was looking at.

Still in the same outfit as I last saw them in was Jack.

They stood at the other end of the bridge. They picked up their hand, waving at me like they had done so many times before.

"Jack," I finally yelled. I sprinted down the bridge, hugging him as tightly as I possibly could. I clutched onto their jacket. I started crying. "I didn't rush."

"I know," they mumbled.

I stepped back slightly, just wanting to actually look at them. I laughed at myself, wiping my tears away.

Jack smiled at me.

They leaned down, cupped the sides of my face, and kissed me softly. I kissed them back a little more aggressively. I had been waiting for this moment for decades.

"I love you," I said as I pulled back.

"I love you too," they replied, smiling widely.

"Are you two done making out," Dean called over, his eyes covered with his hand. I laughed, rolling my eyes at him. He uncovered his eyes. "You have some people to see."

I walked over, holding on tightly to Jack's hand as they walked with me.

"Who," I asked.

"Jack tore down all the walls," Dean explained. "Everyone is altogether. So... it's time for a big family dinner. With everyone."

All of us smiled at each other.

"Load up," Dean yelled, running to the impala. We all followed him.

As we drove through heaven, I felt an overwhelming sense of calm. I laid my head on Jack's shoulder and let out a soft sigh as I relaxed. This was how it was supposed to be.

Through every loss, every moment of pain or fear, every argument.

This was my family. My true family.

And- no matter what- it was perfect to me.

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angelswatchingover · 3 years

Text

It’s not about a conspiracy.

So Supernatural ended and, in usual Supernatural fashion, it went down in the craziest, most meta way possible. Two episodes before the finale, they canonized Destiel through Cas’ love confession to Dean then, in one last queerbait, didn’t give Dean a chance to respond then completely left Cas out of the rest of the narrative. Of course it couldn’t end there so a dub error aired in Latin and South America where Dean reciprocates.

Fans, of course, lose their shit and conspiracies fly that this was the CW quashing the Destiel storyline.

Was it?

I seriously doubt it. Not that the CW isn’t very problematic with killing gays and the movement to bring this to light is a good one. However, the script that we have seen says Dean doesn’t reciprocate. Misha said it wasn’t in the script. And the ending that we got confirms that they never intended this to be anything more than Castiel’s ending (hell, the band Kansas may have planned to get more air time ROFL).

It’s much more likely that the whole thing is shitty, thoughtless writing. Let’s be honest, SPN fumbled their way into greatness way more often then they planned it. Let’s face it, Kripke never intended this show to go beyond 2 dudes in a cool muscle car killing things. He never meant to address the deeper issues of fate, God, angels, and free will - he has said as much. He was extremely lucky to have gotten some very talented writers like Ben Edlund who were able to make this shallow idea into a deeper, more complex story. And if it weren’t for the incredible talent of the actors who brought life and meaning and nuance to some pretty bad scripts, this should would never have survived this long. Jensen Ackles’ facial expressions can give us so much more than the words that were on the script. Not to mention a passionate and engaged fandom that could take a throw away line and latch onto it (likely to the surprise of even the writers).

Endings are hard and writers who have to write endings often try to go for shock value and edginess over good story completion. This is why the best show endings are usually the ones that were planned as one story arc from day 1 (see Black Sails, The Good Place, Crazy Ex Girlfriend, Schitts Creek, Breaking Bad). These endings were designed as the culmination of the story narrative that was built towards it. They don’t need to end with happy endings and we may lose great characters, but the narrative and overall arcs stay true and are completed. That’s why they are so satisfying. Supernatural, on the other hand, was never supposed to go 15 years and no one had any idea how to end it. Each year they had to keep going they had to scramble to come up with and idea and Chuck being the ultimate big bad was a stroke of genius that was stumbled into and definitely not planned since the beginning.

When J2 decided it was time to move on, the writers had to figure out an ending. We know from cast meet and greets that as recently as weeks before the were supposed to shoot the finale it was still being changed and was pretty shaky. On top of that, just as they were supposed to shoot their finales, Covid19 hit and whatever it was they planned had to be re-written because of restrictions and logistics and they couldn’t just wait till Covid was over because their cast and crew had new jobs lined up they needed to move on to. So, they scrambled and cobbled something together and, like GoT, HIMYM, and Dexter, tried to go for shock and edgy rather than looking back at the themes of their narrative to tie it all together. It ended up coming across as lazy and mediocre at best, regressive and queerphobic at worst. But I don’t think they ever planned to make this anything but a nostalgic homage to the pilot. Again, I’m sure they thought they were being clever, but it backfired.

It was so empty and disjointed from the rest of the narrative that much of the audience watched thinking that can’t possibly be what was planned! The story must have gotten gutted by the CW or something, right? Tell me they didn’t just completely ignore the boys’ character growth and the queer storyline that had been a major thread for a dozen years! Guys, that’s exactly what they did because, in their minds, having the finale be nothing but a call back to the pilot was some crackerjack writing. They were actually proud that they would get to make everyone cry, make only 30% of fans satisfied, and be so shocking they upstaged Game of Thrones for an ending (all Dabb quotes that I don’t feel like finding and citing but you can easily). Jared even talked about all the things they put in there from the clothes to John’s journal to make it a big homage to the pilot. Sadly, that approach just made it hollow because it made the audience wonder what the other 15 years were for. But sometimes writers shoot for something and miss... by a long shot.

So I know the conspiracies' can be fun. I have had a blast the last few days laughing at the memes and the powerpoints. But please, take them with a grain of salt and don’t go down a dangerous rabbit hole. The most likely answer is right in front of our faces: shitty writing. Stay sane. Stay an SPN family.

And by all means, keep fighting for better queer representation. Boycott the CW (I know I never plan to watch anything there again) and unfollow their social media. Stop spending money on official merchandise and support artists. Use the hashtags to bring attention to the treatment of LGBT characters in media. Make your voices heard loud that we deserve better. But if the focus is on some Spanish dub conspiracy, it will be brushed off as crazy fangirl nonsense. Focus on the actual intentional behavior that we know they did; the queerbait of Cas in 18 to gain audience interest for a finale that had no intention of paying off. Focus on the killing of all of the LGBT characters in media. And find stories of good representation and solid consistent story arcs to support (the ones I named above are a few excellent examples).

I love you, my passionate, thoughtful SPN family. Just try to stay sane and level headed through your ire.

#Supernatural #Destiel gate #theysilencedyou #theysilencedthem

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ugh-againwiththenames · 3 years

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Cursed Sn*per Thoughts

Misha, in his panel, said something very interesting at Denver con that I think was lost in translation (or certainly hasn’t been brought up enough while we're circling like vultures about CW snipers and poor word choices):

(you know what to do...below the cut)

"I'm not supposed to talk about that...” [waaait] “...it's not canon"

It's the ‘it's not canon’ that's the important part of that sentence (honestly, not the first time yesterday people missed the important part of the sentence). If we didn't know before, I think it's pretty clear now what the Sn*per was so intent on all those years about Misha not talking about Destiel (because it was not explicitly canon until 15x18) and this was the first con back since then - so NOW he's allowed to talk about the gay love confession but…He is NOT allowed to talk about what Cas is doing/feeling now that the show is over, because it isn't scripted/textual/CANON. He’s not allowed to discuss Castiel in Heaven/the Empty because it’s NOT canon. He CAN now talk about the confession – he CAN now talk about his love for Dean and he CAN now pontificate on when/how and what his feelings were/represented – because the confession, and its intention is now canon.

Let's take this and transplant it to our other boy - THIS is why Jensen will always have to say "it's open for interpretation" (or some version of that) - why he cannot give an answer - it's not canon either way for him to answer and have a textual opinion (and 15x18 FUCKED him because he will - as a character - never get closure and NEVER be able to discuss it) - if he had said it back/or denied it in that episode, THEN we could ask those questions and he would be allowed to answer them. However, because canonically he never responded, it's up in the air (as his response would fucking suggest). Personally, I think this frustrates the hell out of him; I think he's trying so hard to come up with different ways of saying the same thing – but he's vastly limited in what he’s allowed to say. With Jensen continuing to work with WB through Chaos Machine, I find it very unlikely that he will purposefully break his NDA. That’s a really slippery slope for him to navigate (without the added pressure of the damn fandom).

But Misha, Misha gave us a peak into the real issue (and I don’t think it’s the first time he’s done that either, I think he’s been trying to tell us for a while) - and it's not that they can't discuss Destiel, it's that they can't discuss anything that isn't textually canon, and so...this is an issue that is going to continue to come up at EVERY single con from here until we recognize that Jens cannot say anything different than what he has already.

Now! Something else to consider - Misha and Jensen are FINE. There is no animosity or tension between them - the body language alone this weekend proved that - do you really REALLY think, and I want you to think about this very very hard - do you think that if Jensen was slandering or avoiding Destiel in public for the fucking hell of it, Misha would be ok with that? That they haven't discussed this so much that they know each others' opinions on it very well? Do you THINK that Misha would be that close with someone who hates the idea of it? Lol guys - come the fuck on now and think this through (honestly lately I feel like this is my resting state in this fandom…think this through!). Misha and Jensen are still flirty and cuddly and touchy – Jensen’s inability to discuss Destiel is not due to his discomfort at all, but due to the fact that his feelings (regardless of what he THINKS they are/would be) were not CANON.

Can we, please, come up with questions at cons, because (holy hell this is gonna be a repeat offender at EVERY con), can we PLEASE find ways to avoid asking questions about things that aren’t canon because that is, honestly, the first and most important reason we will not get the answers we want, and no amount of yelling about it is going to change that.

Here’s another can of worms for you…I don’t think there’s any blame to place here. I don’t think that Creation is responsible for “silencing” Destiel now that I’m thinking about it (they have cut out those questions NOT so that they don’t get asked, but so that the actors don’t need to dance around answers that they cannot LEGALLY give) **striking this after the creation interruption during the Misha/AlCal panel** (and that’s ok, I can be wrong); I do not think that TPTB are in any way WRONG about not wanting the actors in their show (their INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY) to think beyond what they’ve been written to do…I understand (please don’t cancel me) I UNDERSTAND that Jensen and Misha have knowledge of their characters and whether they think decisions were good or bad, and I KNOW that they have those characters in their pocket and are fully aware of how they think they would react/how they feel/what they would do or say – but that is NOT THEIR JOB (as much as we would like it to be, as much as the man who has played Dean/been Dean for 15 years should probably have been consulted in a number of places over the years...), he did not write the character, it is absolutely not his job to “become” that character and speak for him outside of canon in his day to day life. He now owns (at least some of) the rights to Supernatural, so, shall we maybe just see what happens in the future when he’s allowed to take canon and OWN it himself?

Added note: I am literally just in the process of watching these panels – I listened live (if that wasn’t clear from the live blogging happening yesterday); I may have even more thoughts on this topic shortly – in fact, I probably will. But for now, this is what I took out of yesterday’s panels. Body language proves an even larger tell in these issues (and so far, all I’ve seen are a few .gifs, a few photos etc.) and even from that small amount of available media it’s sooooooo clear what is happening there.

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lol-jackles · 3 years

Note

Please, please, tell me you would like to comment on the Hellers' collective death silence-meltdown about the Red Meat script that was posted on twitter (sorry, Tumblr doesn't let me insert the link, but the script comes from the usual TeamFreeWillBT)

Oh they have been ~quiet have they? Back in the day I remember randomly coming across post or tweet by deancas shippers complaining that wincest shippers ``ruined" Red Meat for them for claiming Dean was all about Sam when (to destiel shippers) Dean was pining for Cas even though Dean never said Cas's name. Tell me, was this when Occamshipper's Ironic Meta of the Invisible Man aka Negative Space became a thing? The one where the general audience, through magic osmosis telepathy after getting pegged by unicorns, are filling Cas-less episode with Cas? Fanfic’s mpregs makes more biological sense than Occamshipper’s magic metas on the worse day.

*read Red Meat courtsey of TeamFreeWillBT* (credit)

Oh right, Cas was alive and, uh, posessed I think? So how on flat earth did Destiel shippers infamously claim Dean was thinking of Cas when the poor girl talked about watching the man she loves die? When Dean thought he watched Sam die just hours earlier?

The script made it clear like sunlight disinfecting covid.

Sometimes I think Destiel hellers are only pretending to be this stupid just to needle the Wincest shippers because they’re super pissed about Bromeo and Samuliet.

The difference is deancas scenes are mostly AU-fanfiction while Red Meat is canon. So not a fair trade, it would be like trading a tofu hotdog for a kobe steak. Not when there’s this.

Never try to explain to Dean like he’s five years old on the difference between “need’ and “want” because for Dean they’re the same. For normies a “need” is necessary for survival, a “want” is something that is desired but would be able to live without. Lol no way Dean can survive without Sam, which was the whole point of Dean’s deal attempt with Billie.

As the saying goes, the “Hellers' collective death silence-meltdown” is deafening, meaning the absence of an explanation reveals that it is a lie i.e. canon Destiel is a lie. Their silence signifying their overpoweringly disapproval and lack of enthusiasm (which is why they didn’t want Jensen to comment on the finale). Sometimes silence of a person indicates tough situation. Other times the implication is that the people who would speak up are too guilty or ashamed to respond or to defend themselves. Any of the above fits the hellers in whatever situations they find themselves in, mostly the first one.

#red meat #supernatural

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suncaptor · 3 years

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s7 adoration

First off, one thing I love about it is the versatility of it. some of my favourite parts are the humour of it, and the balance to the horror of it. It does lean towards dark, and is certainly darker than the rest of the show, but that just makes the gravity of it all lift off so intense when there’s randomly then dick jokes and so forth. same goes for the characters in it with the themes.

I genuinely think that leviathans are one of the scariest and best villains on the show because of the reflection of psychological horror and the flip on the script of hunted/hunter.

That being said, I also think Dick Roman is a great villain for comedic reasons as well and genuinely find his dialogue memorable. So memorable, in fact, I made this uquiz.

I also think that it is the darkest season psychologically in supernatural, like it rings out nadir to me, yet at the same time, this is all canon dialogue. but also it is quite unseen, the depth of it, which is infuriating (and my main fix would it being from Sam’s perspective), but it makes it compelling to me too.

I actually really like having sodium borate being corrosive to leviathans

There’s a canonical bipolar main character who’s vital to the plot and who’s talented and who’s also part of the inner themed reflections of paranoia within without systems and being incapable of trust anything even your brain while still retaining that vitality.

The season starts out with perhaps one of my favourite arcs in the show, as well, which brings me great joy in all the dialogue while also introducing one of the other most compelling parts of the show (being godstiel then Sam’s PTSD hallucinations retrospectively).

Two of the three main writer’s I look to as the core of what I love about Supernatural are perhaps the strongest voices in the season (Sera Gamble and Ben Edlund) and I really actually love the addition of Robbie Thompson and think some of his episodes are top tier. I don’t like Adam Glass, Buckleming, or Robert Singer writing any of the episodes, and my fix to s7 would be deleting those episodes, and Dabb is on like, thin ice, but I do really like most of the writing and theming and all and am genuinely enjoying the individual episodes and think that tied with 2, 4, and 5 it’s got the best quality for being entertaining to me.

And when I was looking at favourite episodes in Kripke/Gamble era (which I generally vastly prefer), it had the most of top 30 (8), and 20% of the top 10. And of that, it would skew towards the top total.

While Hello Cruel World sets up the season’s intent extremely well, I think that Defending Your Life drives the points home about how this reflects onto Sam and Dean in regards of their own psychological issues and how it will then impact their actions, the conflict not at all then revolving around leviathans but the concept of monstrosity and mental illness. While the season is incredibly ableist constantly and with some writers it’s clear that it’s intentional and the characters and they treat Sam with respect, other times it’s clearly not. I still am obsessed with this because it is directly and not metaphorically addressing these issues even if poorly.

Slash Fiction has some of the most in character and pointed analysis in the show immediately, including this scene and actually references and uses the history of the characters and the show itself to be more horrifying.

How To Win Friends and Influence Monsters is just also the epitome of s7 in general, from Sam hallucinating Lucifer and saying he’s lucky and people have it worse, Dean at his nihilistic worst about to lose Bobby admit while high on a sandwich what it’s really about, the fact they didn’t ever want to shoot deer, and just iconic dialogue from everyone including our favourite Dick Roman and “bibbing” while also having Bobby see the plans building the tension of the overall arc in the season right before being shot.

And while Death’s Door is very painful for me to rewatch, it is also an astounding episode of television from the terror of going back to the origin “You can never go home” and the only genetic case of bullet to the head (generational trauma), the insight into the abuse, how it shaped all the memories proceeding it, how Bobby didn’t escape it or what it did to him, but he also never was anything like his deepest fears or his fathers, and also Bobby’s speech towards his father. I also think the way Sam and Dean respond is extremely well written and their grief is palpable.

We also then get these lovely random images I get to share here :) X, X, and X.

Repo Man I may have some criticisms about in terms of ableism and homophobia, but it is still one of the best, and most horrifying, episodes in the show. Both the mirrors and the revelations throughout the episode and the dark intoxicating obsession while also seeing Sam’s actual trauma in front of us… I feel like I could literally analyse this episode for years, it’s so rich and deep, as much of Edlund’s episodes are when he decides he wants to make something deep instead of comical.

that being said I think The Born Again Identity may be one of the best episodes in the entire show. I can’t rationalise this because it would take hours if you don’t like this episode we just have entirely different taste.

Though, outside of the actual episode writing, the way it opens with the surreality and mental deterioration is very important to me, and it’s just one of many aspects of this episode, but I feel like it may be less popular so I thought I’d say it.

Charlie’s first episode and actually having our first actually good fully fleshed out lgbt character genuinely changes something in me when I watch it like. It is so full of hope for me personally just because of how fun and deep it remains. We get to hear Dick Roman describe the spark in humanity he can’t replicate while also saying “Nothing’s safe. I like that.” (the thesis of the season). Donald Trump helped him get the leviathan tablet. We get the scene where Dean coaches Charlie through flirting with a man and also have her make Harry Potter references which I just personally find very funny to watch. And Charlie’s mere existence just makes me hope, like the way she is.

Season 7 is the first season Cas tells Sam and Dean he loves them.

And Kevin Tran is introduced, one of my favourite characters who also adds much to the season itself.

Reading is Fundamental is the episode that Kevin Tran is introduced, that we get to see more into Cas’s past through the ways in which is he more open in his altered mental state such as how he loved Neanderthal poetry and bees, Hester’s accusation towards Dean, more talk around the hell trauma transfer which intrigues me even if it also infuriates me, and Cas actually faces and reacting to what he’s done, even if in an altered state. There are countless reasons I love it.

Also, this may not be something someone who doesn’t ship destiel can see and leans much more subtextual, so ignore this part if you are bothered by those interpretations, but I think season 7 is when Dean realised he was in love with Cas and like I do have a lot of reasons for thinking this and find it just another layer of why seeing the psychology of the main characters is intriguing to me. I also then can do parallels throughout that reflect this grapping too. And it adds layers to how Dean finds him married then, maybe even add the demon he kissed.

And then, of course, is the matter of the trench coat.

this is very very limited, but I tried my best to be comprehensive of my highlights and reasons for loving season 7!

#s7 #spn #supernatural #incoherents #lists

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destiel-love-forever · 3 years

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CODA 15x18

Castiel lets himself into the bunker with his key, his hands shaking. The empty let him go. He can’t fucking believe it let him go. It wanted to torment Billy. Give her its full attention. Castiel was last year’s problem. The empty was over it. Bored of it. With a snarky comment about something called Destiel, she had flicked her wrist and sent him here. Home. To Dean.

He sees Sam first. Sam and Jack, the two of them sitting at the map table together, staring off at nothing. Sam straightens, looking on high alert. Then he shoves to his feet and surges forward. “Cas! Wow, Cas, you - you - Dean said you were dead!”

Castiel hugs Sam back, grunting fondly when Jack joins in to squeeze him from behind. He holds on to his family for a long time before gently pulling back and nodding. “The Empty took me but it changed its mind. Didn’t want to put up with me anymore. It’s content having Billy to torment.”

“I can’t believe this. I - Dean!” Sam grabs Castiel’s biceps and squeezes him. “Holy shit, Cas. You have to - he needs to see you. You have to go to Dean!”

“Where is he?” Castiel asks, biting back the questions he really wants to know the answers to. Did he tell them what Castiel confessed? Does Dean feel the same?

“He’s in your room,” Jack says quietly, the boy’s face twisted with emotion. “He won’t come out.”

Castiel’s heart lurches in his chest. He gives Sam and Jack a final smile before hurrying off to his bedroom. He thinks someone should give him a gold star for keeping his cool instead of full-out sprinting down the bunker hall. When he reaches his bedroom door, his hands are trembling. It takes two tries for him to turn the knob.

Before he can step inside, he hears him. Dean. Grumpy and devastated, his voice thick with tears. “Go away, Sam. Seriously. I just wanna be alone.”

Castiel walks into the room and gently shuts the door. He tries to breathe, tries to relax. He tries to prepare himself for rejection. The man on the bed sighs heavily. He’s hugging Castiel’s one and only sweater to his chest, breathing it in. “Sam-”

“Dean,” Castiel says softly, holding still when Dean scrambles into a sitting position on the bed.

“Cas?” Dean sucks in a shuddery breath, furiously wiping at his face. “C-Cas? Is that - are you - Cas?”

Before Castiel can respond, Dean is on his feet and walking forward. He reaches out slowly, hesitantly, before his fingertips finally skim Castiel’s face. Castiel holds his breath.

“Cas, is it really you?”

“Yes, Dean. The Empty allowed my freedom since we helped it get Billy. I didn’t think-”

“You son of a bitch!” Dean breathes. His pretty green eyes fill with more tears as he stares at Castiel in an outraged awe. “How dare you do that!”

Castiel flinches. “Dean…”

“No!” Dean grabs Castiel’s stupid trenchcoat and surges forward with him in toe, shoving him up against the wall. “You just fucking killed me you jackass! How could you - why would - how - dammnit Cas! You drop that shit on me just as you’re sacrificing your life for me? Not fucking fair!”

“Dean…”

“Nope. My turn now.” Dean eases his grip, lifting his chin to look Castiel directly in the eye. His voice shakes when he speaks next. “When you saved me, I didn’t think I deserved it. Part of me… part of me didn’t want to be saved. After everything I had lost. Everything I had done. The things Alistair had me do… It took a long time for me to feel worthy of something. It took you to convince me. We built this thing together. This crazy beautiful thing. Jack and Sam. Me and you. A family. Chuck is pissed because we didn’t follow the script. Because you didn’t follow the script. We’re one of the only things in all of my life that’s real. That wasn’t his doing. You’ve changed me too. Chuck made me into something hardened. My dad’s instrument, just like you said. This self-sacrificial man who never believed he was worthy of happiness. Who always believed I didn’t matter. I was terrified to show weakness. I was terrified to show emotion. I was trapped in this hardened shell, believing I’d never be happy. Not truly happy. And then - then you came into my world, Cas. You doubted your father too. You were a self-sacrificial idiot too. No rest for the self-destructive, right Cas?” Dean huffs a laugh, his eyes softening. “I’m done with it all, Cas. The self-sacrifice. The destruction. The bottling things up. You want me? I’m right here. You love me? Well,” Dean takes a deep breath before allowing his lips to turn up into a smile. “I love you too.”

Castiel feels his knees go weak. He doesn’t have to worry about falling, though. Not when Dean is there. Not when Dean is moving in close, wrapping his strong arms around Castiel’s waist, pulling him in until their foreheads are pressed together. Not when Dean is repeating himself in a breathy whisper, promising again, “I love you too.”

The kiss happens slowly. Organically. Neither of them knows who closes the gap. It doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that it’s finally happening. After all this time. After going through hell - literally. They finally get to have this.

Castiel has never felt more at peace.

Dean has never felt more safe.

Whatever happens next, it doesn’t matter. They’re finally together.

#supernatural #destiel #supernatural season 15 #15x18 #spn 15x18 #15x18 coda #coda #i fixed it #empty #deals #confessions #love confessions #idiots in love #Happy Ending

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shirtlesssammy · 3 years

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4x10: Heaven and Hell

Then:

TFW needed a little work before they got it right

Now:

We start off right where we left off in the last episode. The angels are here for Anna. She has to die.

Uriel attacks Ruby and Dean tries to stop it. Cas starts walking towards Sam, and despite Sam’s pleas, he boops him into unconsciousness. Suddenly there’s lights and Uriel and Cas are zapped to places unknown. (Cas’s wings in the flash...emotion hearts). They find Anna with a ridiculously severe wrist wound and a mysterious sigil on the mirror written in her blood. She sent them away.

They hide Anna away at Bobby’s. Dean and Ruby bond over hex bags. It’s almost cute.

Um, Bobby’s not home because he’s in the Dominican (and I just Googled “Hedonism and Dominican” ... probably shouldn’t have). Anyway, Sam’s got exposition on Anna. This bought of psychosis isn’t her first. When she was a toddler, she was convinced her real father was “very mad -- like wanted-to-kill-her mad.” Anna interrupts their little chat.

Sam asks her why the angels want her. She has no clue. She’s upset that her parents are dead and her life has been turned upside-down. They need to find out what her deal is.

Enter PAM!

(I know I’m technically not supposed to like that bit of sexual harassment but her exchange with Sam is SO funny and cute. He’s so earnest and they play the victim card with her, but she ain’t having it and she’s going to have some fun at Sam’s expense. And Dean’s smile at the end, JOY.)

Pam introduces herself to Anna and sets to hypnotizing her. She asks about Anna’s father and Anna freaks out. Dean tries intervening and gets knocked out. Pam wakes her and Anna remembers who she is. “I’m an angel.”

Pam and Ruby are side-eyeing this “friendly” angel. Turns out Anna was Cas and Uriel’s boss in angel-land. She disobeyed, which is the worst thing an angel can do (WEEPS for future Cas.) She ripped out her grace and fell to Earth. Now Heaven and Hell want her. She’s determined to get her grace back.

“So you’e just going to take some devine bong hit, and shazam, you’re Roma Downey?” Ah, Dean, you do have a way with words (Also, dude loves pop culture SO much that Touched By an Angel is on his radar. BLESS THIS BOY.)

Sam remembers reading about a meteor about 9 months before Anna was born and Ruby responds, “You’re pretty buff for a nerd.” Get a room, you two.)

For Real Life Jesus They’re Cute Science:

Ruby apologizes for getting Sam involved with this war. She’s afraid of Alistair too. He’s no joke in Hell. She tells Sam he should send Alistair back to Hell, but he’s got to practice to do it. Sam refuses.

Anna’s star gazing when Dean returns from taking Pamela home. Dean asks Anna why the angels saved him. Dean then asks why she would want to be human. He lists all the bad things about the human condition, and she lists all the good.

Ultimately, it’s the emotions of being human that matter so much to her. Obedience and emotionless faith is overrated. Only 4 angels have ever laid eyes on God (Well...five now!) Anna complains about watching over Earth, waiting for order from a father who might never return, and Dean laughs and laughs. I really love how Anna’s story shifted to Cas. Dean and Anna give each other looks, but Sam, in all his glory, interrupts. He’s found something!

They head off for a tree in Kentucky that is probably the place where Anna’s grace fell.

They get to the tree and Anna can sense that it’s not there anymore. Someone took it.

Later, Anna’s listening to Angel Radio and hears the angels say that if the Winchesters don’t turn over Anna, they’ll throw Dean back in Hell. Dean is speechless, but Sam wants to know what kind of weapon works on an angel. Dean’s in freak out mode --they need to find an answer.

Later, Dean’s reading a book by flashlight and Anna approaches him to thank him for all that they’ve done. He brushes her sentiment aside. She ponders the thought that she doesn’t deserve to be saved (AND I need to stop and talk about how this parallels Cas in Purgatory...he thanks Dean for everything, he believed he didn’t deserve to be saved. BLAF. And Dean and Anna are more canon than Dean and Cas? I think not.)

Dean lets slip that there’s something he deeply regrets as well, and Anna takes the opportunity to reveal that she knows what he did last summer - er, in Hell. He crumbles when she tells him to forgive himself. (Narrator voice: and then he spent ten more years failing to do exactly that.)

“You are not alone,” she tells him and I remember why I like her (before a later plot twist scrubs her away). Anna MAKES A MOVE and kisses him. It IS their last night on Earth, after all. (I quietly eat the script pages for “Free to be you and me” while simultaneously high-fiving Anna for her excellent taste.)

Cut to a montage of Impala sex which cuts out all the bits of sex in a car where you’re crammed in a corner awkwardly trying to get off your clothes without kicking the other person. Anna touches Castiel’s handprint, laying her own over the lines of his fingerprints. And I know that it was likely just a way to set up the Dean-is-connected-to-Heaven parallels in this brief shining moment when both boys actually had non-dead love interests at the same time. But MAN it sure cuts me open now.

Ruby watches Sam sleep, then heads out to a crossroads. She burns her protective hex bag and Alistair appears.

Ruby offers to give up Anna in return for her and the Winchesters’ safety. Alistair has another proposal…

Uriel greets Dean back in the barn. Dean looks confused for a moment before he realizes that Uriel has invaded his dream so they can have a little chat. Commander Cas isn’t around - “You see, he has this weakness. He likes you.” Uriel reveals that he has Anna’s grace. But nya nya nya he won’t give it back.

We cut to Ruby, naked and strapped down as this show is wont to do with its demon women. Alistair tortures her with the demon knife. She refuses to tell him where Anna is...but she will show him.

Back in the barn during waking hours, Dean drinks his feelings until the doors burst open and Uriel and Castiel arrive.

Sam demands to know how the angels found them, and Castiel glances meaningfully at Dean.

Anna realizes the deal that must have been brokered: herself in exchange for Sam’s safety. We experience many sad close-ups of Dean’s self-hatred and it HURTSSSS. Anna kisses Dean and assures him that he’s forgiven.

Anna’s ready to face the angels at last. Cas apologizes, but she brushes it aside. “You don’t know the feeling.” First of all, Anna, rude.

For This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us Science:

Alistair shows up in the barn with his demon goons. The Winchesters, Anna, and Ruby skedaddle to the fringes of the barn, leaving the angels and demons to posture toxically at each other.

Fisticuffs ensue! Alistair pins Cas, growling Latin at him until Dean whacks him in the head. Anna takes advantage of the fight to have her Ariel moment.

She orders everyone to close their eyes as her own fire consumes her. It blasts Alistair away, and Castiel gently pulls Uriel away as well. Everyone congratulates themselves for their excellent plan to pit the demons and angels against each other.

Later, Sam and Dean recap their feelings at the Impala.

For Rural Roads Science:

Dean brings up something Alistair said during the fight - that he “had promise.” I finally remember during this rewatch that Dean’s been denying what happened in Hell all along. Dean starts to talk. “It wasn’t four months,” he begins. “It was more like forty years. They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you-- Until there was nothing left. And then suddenly I would be whole again. Like magic. Alistair at the end of every day - every one - he would come over . He would make me an offer to take me off the rack if I put souls on. If I started to torture. And every day I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For thirty years, I told him. But then I couldn’t do it anymore, Sammy.”

“I got off that rack - god help me I got right off it - and I started ripping ‘em apart.” The weight of the torture he inflicted presses down on him. Sam tries to reassure him, but Dean continues to rip out our hearts and leave them cold and gathering refuse in the gutter. “How I feel? This inside me. I wish I couldn’t feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn’t feel a damn thing.”

Dean Quotechester Deserved Better:

Any chance I can dick over an angel, I'm taking it

What do they want me for? Why did they save me?

Feelings are overrated, if you ask me

When you got Godzilla and Mothra on your ass, best to get out of their way and let them fight

I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #anna milton #uriel #ruby #spn 4x10 #heaven and hell #supernatural season 4

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teamfreewill2pointo · 3 years

Text

Family Don't End with Blood Transcription

Family Don't End with Blood Transcription [twitter version]

Jared: So, in Supernatural, our character Bobby Singer played by the wonderful Jim Beaver has a quote, “family don't end in blood”.

Jensen: You know, it's one of the many, kind of, mottos of-of Supernatural and it is the family that you choose and it is the people that you care about and that you fight next to and that you fight to save. And that inspire you. And that push you.

Singer: No, I think definitely the family was going to be a theme right from the beginning. I mean the Pilot story was and- and whatever the mythology of season one was- was, you know, the search for dad.

Dabb: You'll watch the first few moments of the Pilot and it very clearly plants this flag about what it is. It is a family show.

Misha: Like who's your clan and who are the people you care about the most? And obviously, two orphaned brothers couldn't care about anything in the world more than one another, but they envelop this community of people who also care about them and one another. Alex: Sam and Dean and Cas and Jack and these host of characters are kind of... with loss forced to reassess what family is, and what I love about the show is they kind of build their own version of that.

Jared: There's so many characters along the way that Sam and Dean treated as they would treat each other. Dabb: I think that was a core part of this, because Sam and Dean are two guys that, because they define everything by family, they're always looking for a family.

Jared: You know, not everybody out there has a wonderful family life as far as their- their blood relatives.

Dabb: Sam and Dean come from a very dysfunctional family. Their father suffered this great, you know, world shattering tragedy and really spent the entire rest of his life trying to get revenge. And unfortunately, Sam and Dean came second to that.

Dabb: So when they got to be an adult, and I think a lot of people that come from dysfunctional families find this... is it becomes less about the family you're born into and it becomes about your family by choice.

Jensen: When you find someone that's willing to fight alongside you for what you collectively believe is the right thing, then it instantly makes you brothers and sisters in arms. And that's exactly what these two brothers found. They found other brothers and sisters in arms.

Singer: Bobby really served as a, you know, a father figure. One thing we always tried to do is that if we had a guest character that really kind of hit the mark, we would say oh, you know, we got to keep going with this- with this person. Bobby, that, character is certainly one of them.

Beaver: If you're walking the walk, and not just talking the talk, I think probably respects that immensely and- and he sees that in Sam and Dean.

Buckner: Crowley, Charlie, Jack, Rowena... all these people had a commonality. I mean, they were all alone in their own little universes to a- to an extent.

Singer: When Misha showed up... and created the- the Castiel character, we knew we had something special.

Misha: It's been such an interesting arc with the character of Castiel on Supernatural.

Jensen: You know sure the story at the core was- was about these brothers, but it was also about this- this ragtag gang of fighters.

Samantha Smith: Most hunters are solitary. It’s lonely. And, when they can connect with other people who understand their pain and their life and their dedication and their purpose, there's going to be a bond there.

Jensen: I'm thankful for, not only the characters and how they were written and how they affected the Winchester's, but also for the actors and actresses that have portrayed them, because they too have become family with Jared and I. And they are- they're part of this crazy circus that is supernatural.

Dabb: Jared and Jensen are both excellent actors, but I think their biggest achievement on this show is the example they were able to set for everybody. And you know, it's kind of a famous story, but Eric Kripke sat them down, you know, the first season we're like, “This is your show. You guys set the tone of this show.”

Kripke: They're bringing so much more to it than I ever could have written, in their grounding it and they're making it real. And it's clear you watch these guys, and they're smart guys, going through this story and I'm-I’m thrilled.

Dabb: Both Jared and Jensen are capable of carrying a show on their own. As they now will go off and do, I'm sure. The fact that we could get them together for this period of time- again, I don’t know that’s something you are going to repeat on a TV show for a while.

Buckner: They-they really are quite incredible. Jensen learned to tap dance for an episode... I keep hearing the phrase “once in a lifetime” and probably so.

Dabb: To get two guys at this caliber who are leading men to come in and do that job into it so well, and so thoughtfully- again I-I said it earlier, but I don't think I'm gonna find that again in my career.

Jensen: That's the crazy thing about being on a show this long and- and not just being on a show this long, but being with a large- a large majority of our crew has been with us either from the beginning 15 years or they've been with us 12 years, or 10 years, or eight years.

Jensen: That's a long, long time for these professionals to be in one- to be on one job.

Singer: Our set was always loose. The crew felt part of the family. They were in on the joke. The guys were always great to the crew, had great respect for the crew.

Sheppard: Truly great people all at the peak of their abilities. Some great, great wonderful writers, some extraordinary producers over the years, the various showrunners from Kripke at the beginning, to Sera, to- to Jeremy, to Andrew. It's been an amazing journey.

Misha: I've just been both grateful and inspired to be around a crew like this. We laugh so much and I-I know that Jared and Jensen and the producers all agree, we wouldn't be here if the crew of Supernatural wasn't the crew that it is.

Alex Calvert: I came into this show relatively late compared to everybody else.

The relationships that I've seen at work and away from work are incredible. People have started families. People have had kids on the show. You know, I think these people are-are gonna be in each other's lives forever because of this bond that they formed.

Dabb: This is a show where assistants have gone on to write scripts.

This is a show where crew people have gone on to direct. It's a show that has tried to be supportive to people who show that passion and that work ethic to get up there and do it. I certainly have felt supported. I mean, I-I went from a staff writer to running the show and you know, so obviously I felt very supported (laughs) in kind of my goals.

Jared: You know, I've-I’ve met my wife, mother of my kids. I met one of my groomsmen. I met a ton of dear friends, and I have a new extended family, our SPN family.

Jared: I'm honored and flattered and grateful that I got to be a part of that journey.

Alex: I think the- the overwhelming thing that I'd like to express for me and I think for a lot of people on the show that maybe don't get a say, which I want to represent, is the crew and the people that build the show and paint the show.

Alex: You know, costume to show and- and are here everyday working on it. I think a lot of it is just gratitude and thankfulness that- that we get to do what we do.

Dabb: On the writing side of it here in Burbank, that's always felt like there's a family atmosphere. I feel it's a great gift where we work with so many people that are both talented and professional.

Buckner: They- a lot of laughter in that room. I remember a tabletop strewn with toys, and play-dough, and slinkies, and etcha-a-sketches, and blocks that got played with endlessly. I know there's a whole wall covered with index cards with various, either funny, pointless, or stupid, things that the writers have said over the course of many, many, many meetings that's tacked up on a wall. And remember just a lot of give and take and a lot of feelings of safety in that room. It was maybe the largest production office I've worked in. The tiki bar in the middle of the office, always laid out with cakes or whatever for birthdays.

Eugenie: We were a community. We were a brotherhood. We were a sisterhood. And, that kind of was the way everything was run.

Buckner: One of the writers I remember once, had major surgery and had to come to work in sweats, a really loose fitting stuff. So a lot of the writers showed up in PJs as a-as a sort of show of solidarity. So there's just lots of ways that people supported each other.

Dabb: And I just feel incredibly lucky to have worked with, number one with Bob Singer because I've worked with him for 15 years now. It has been the most rewarding... partnership, mentorship, whatever you want to call it, of my professional life. In terms of being able to learn from him.

Jared: His involvement in the series was so necessary from day one. He can walk on set, look at me, not really saying anything, just give me a face, and I'm like got it. And that's built over time.

Singer: I come in with a plan, but it's not chipped in stone and then, you know, lots of times, you know, the guys would have ideas. Sometimes I would accept them readily. Sometimes, we had to talk about them, but there was always this mutual respect.

Jensen: He has been just this... Yoda character for our show. I call him my confident captain. He's just- he's been- he's been the real compass of this- of the show for so long.

We have come together in times of crisis. We've lost several of our crew members. We lost Yap. We lost Matt Riley. We lost Kim Manners in Season 4.

Singer: Kim was a great guy and a great director. Everybody responded to his talent but also to who he was.

Jared: He used to say, you know, we're not curing cancer, and I spend more time with you than I do my wife, my kids, my dogs. So, if we're not having a good time, then what are we doing?

And so we tried to make sure that we kept it light and that we all realized like hey, we're putting on makeup and playing pretend for a living.

Sheppard: I came into a couple of episodes, with a show that Kim Manners told me I really needed to do someday because I would really enjoy it and I'd love the boys. And he was right. He was absolutely right.

Singer: The hardest part of season four was- was losing Kim. And I think the… the best thing we could say about losing Kim was that we never replaced him. I didn't feel like anyone should have that job other than- than Kim. So, you know, that was hard.

Jensen: I'm not quite sure when the-the phrase was coined, but the SPN family, as the- the fandom is- is lovingly known as. What we are on set as a crew is now reflected in- in what we see as a fandom.

Misha: The SPN family, Supernatural family. I've seen so many instances of people gathering together to go support a Supernatural fan.

Misha: It's so lovely and inspiring and I-I-I honestly, you know, hope that that could serve as a template for how greater society works.

Buckner: When these guys were feeling for each other, or for other characters, or when they were afraid, or, you know, when they loved somebody, it just radiated off the screen, and the fans really picked up on that.

Jared: I know several of the fans personally and care about them deeply. And it's neat to talk about a shared passion. Man, I love Supernatural too. Like, I love the storyline too. I like that episode too. Like let's talk about it.

Jensen: We have this unique situation with our show where we're able to do these fan conventions and we do them quite often and it gives us an opportunity to get in front of a lot of these people and have honest real conversations with them face-to-face. And that's, in my opinion, that's helped shape the show.

Buckner: And this is not just limited to the United States. It's a worldwide thing. I mean, there are these conventions held, you know, everywhere in the world.

Eugenie: The fans are so polite. They're- they're very respectful of each other's appreciation of the same show they appreciate. It's like we're all in this together.

Alex Calvert: I can tell you that the people that I've met and that have been affected by the show and the fans of the show will- will tell you a hundred times over that this is not the end, that this goes on forever.

Singer: They've bonded over this show. And-and have created their own Supernatural family. And have a tremendous respect for what we do, but respect for each other.

Just a motivation of why we wanted to always keep the show going and keep it fresh was not to disappoint the fans. We certainly didn't want to disappoint them, because we didn't want to disappoint family members.

Dabb: There's nothing I won't miss. This has been, creatively speaking, an incredible gift.

Buckner: Just be able to go to work and have that kind of freedom and not dread going into a place.

Jensen: We love the show. We love the story.

We love these characters. We love the- we love the people that we make this show with. I hope and I believe that that translates on camera.

Eugenie: You know, there's always reruns. I'll always be able to see Sam and Dean.

Alex Calvert: I think everybody loves that- that Sam and Dean, you know, can go through hell together literally, and give each other a big hug at the end of it and know that they're gonna be alright because they have each other. I think that's a really beautiful concept of the show.

Singer: That bond is really, I think, you know, the heart and soulless show, and what gave us the longevity that we had.

Misha: I also genuinely hope that the supernatural family is something that carries on past the end of the shooting of the show. I hope we can continue collectively to do good in the world and to set a good example and to be a family to one another.

Jared: Sam and Dean, much like Jared and Jensen, over the course of Supernatural were allowed to add many members to their family, and they would do anything for their family members and vice versa. This world and this journey isn't just about fighting for yourself or fighting for somebody that it'll- it'll benefit you. It's not about the glory. It's about doing what's right and taking care of good people. And I think Supernatural from day one has been able to accomplish that. [Huge thanks to Kira who helped me clean this up!!]

End of the Road Special Transcription Winchester Mythology Transcription

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mrswhozeewhatsis · 3 years

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I’ve been a mutual for years. I ignore fandom discord. Your blog usually supports everyone. You’re header is “coexist”. So why the heck did you reblog that call to action against the CW and basically all thing SPN? That’s kinda disgusting. Just because a ship didn’t sail is no reason to trash an entire network. Smh. I thought you were better than that petty trash. Cancel culture is going too far.

It’s true, I normally don’t get into cancel culture and fandom drama. To be completely transparent, of all the acts that the post in question proposes, the only one I’ve done is unfollow the CW_SPN Twitter account. I haven’t tweeted using the new hashtag or replied with my own words on this subject anywhere. I mean, I wasn’t planning on watching SPN on Netflix anytime soon, anyway. Reblogging that post was LITERALLY the least I could do, and that’s about all I’ve done.

I want to make clear, though, that my actions are not “because a ship didn’t sail.” First, I had no cargo on that ship. Second, whether you like it or not, it actually did sail when Cas told Dean he loved him.

My plan, up until last night, was to distill in my own mind my own issues with the last two episodes, and then rewrite them in a way that was more satisfying to me, using the corporate CW/Covid constraints that I’m aware of. That would be my response. There would not be an, “I love you, too,” from Dean, because I didn’t think the network would EVER allow that. In my mind, the most Destiel fans would ever be allowed would be a hug and Dean telling Cas he was stupid to assume he knew what Dean felt. At best, the writers and the network would want to keep things open-ended, to satisfy those who really don’t want Dean to be anything but straight as an arrow.

To be completely clear, I have never expected Destiel to become canon. I have never wanted or prayed or begged or even just thought, “Hey, that’d be cool.” I fully expected Destiel to remain in subtext and fanon. The fact that it did become canon when Cas professed his love to Dean made me nearly fall out of my chair. I mean, I was happy about it, don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t screaming and jumping up and down happy, but I was like, “Yeah. Good for them!”

I was happy that those of my friends in the fandom who are queer finally felt represented by a MAIN character that they loved, yet sad that the character had to die without hearing that he, too, was loved. It was a bittersweet blow.

People asked me what I thought of it, and I said, “I’m waiting to see what they do with the last two episodes.” In my mind, Cas’s confession followed by sacrificing himself DEMANDED an answer of some kind. It didn’t have to be a matching confession from Dean. But Dean needed to respond in some way, shape, or form.

And the final two episodes happened, and NOTHING.

I said before that a major theme of season 15 was Dean’s anger. Dean, himself - Mr. I-don’t-talk-about-my-feelings-no-matter-what - TALKED about his anger and how he didn’t know what to do about it. To me, Cas’s confession was supposed to trigger Dean to DO something about his anger, and then lead him into DOING something based on love. To me, it didn’t have to be loving Cas, either. It could be discovering that pushing people away was bad, and finally inviting hunters into the bunker to share knowledge. Inviting other people into his heart and loving them because of Cas’s love, the same way Cas learned to love the world because of Dean’s love. (That was pretty much going to be the crux of my rewrite.) I even said in one post here, “It all seems to be adding up to them defeating Chuck with the power of love, and I really don’t know how that will look.”

But the final two episodes didn’t even show Dean really grieving? I don’t get it.

I digress.

I was upset, but understanding about not getting to see Dean tell Cas he loved him. It was never an expectation for me. No one, from the network to the writers on down to the actors, I thought, would ever green light that script.

BUT THEY DID.

AND THEN THEY TOOK IT BACK.

That’s the line for me. The fact that every step along the line agreed to make Dean queer in canon (even if it was just a matter of, “Cas is the exception to the rule,”) - the fact that it HAPPENED is phenomenal. And maybe I should be happy that it was even considered seriously enough to have made it to an almost-final script. But I’m really upset that it got through all of that vetting, and at the very last minute, when the people in the show we love had no way of fighting it, it got pulled.

It’s almost like the CW pulled a bait-and-switch on Dabb, Bobo, Misha, and Jensen (along with everyone else who would have had skin in the game). As if they went along with it just to make them happy, and then pulled the rug out from under them. It’s the CW as Lucy pulling the football from Charlie Brown after he’s started his kick.

This is what pissed me off and made me reblog that post. I want to support those of my friends who are hurting because of this, right now. My queer friends who feel betrayed by a network that claims to be so open to diversity and supportive of ALL people. I’m a cishet, white, upper-middle-class disabled housewife. Cut my hair short and dye it blonde and I could very easily be a Karen. I have no skin in this game. But I love people who do. And if they want to organize protests and boycotts, then I want to support them.

I’m not cancelling the CW. I’ll watch Walker because of Jared. Even if it turns out that the theories are right, that Walker is the reason the CW made this decision, I’ll still watch. I love Jared, and want to support him.

But I do want to do something to support those who disagree with this and want to do something about it. Because it was wrong. The CW done fucked up, but they will never change if we don’t tell them. Unfollowing their SM accounts, getting a hashtag trending, and other actions like this, are ways to get that message across. Maybe, if we can make a big enough impact, they will change.

This isn’t cancel culture. This is finding a way to send a message to the CW that they made a mistake.

If your hate of a ship keeps you from seeing that, I feel sorry for you.

#meta #s15 #spoilers #destiel #theysilencedyou #they silenced you #theysilencedthem #they silenced them #rancidnutwork #Anonymoose?#michelle answers

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