#HAVE SOME POIROT KISSES <3<3

[poirott]

(´ε｀ )♡

AGATHA CHRISTIE'S POIROT (1989 - 2013)

#poirot #hercule poirot #agatha christie #david suchet #tvedit #perioddramaedit #poirotedit #*edit #poirot 1x06: triangle at rhodes #poirot 1x10: the dream #poirot 3x01: the mysterious affair at styles #poirot 4x01: the abc murders #poirot 5x04: the case of the missing will #poirot 6x01: hercule poirot's christmas #poirot 10x04: taken at the flood #poirot 7x01: the murder of roger ackroyd #HAVE SOME POIROT KISSES <3<3 #the way he looks at the lady in the 6th gif *o* #or in the 8th gif when he meets her eyes #EXCUSE ME sir <3

[bropunzeling]

Mm top 5 comfort/vacation reads?

Top five tropes (to write or to read or both!)

comfort reads:

the brothers sinister series by courtney milan! great little romance series, solid sex scenes (the one in the governess affair novella is actually literally to die for), a delightful cast of characters. courtney's books are always solidly rooted in a mix of period detail and thoughtful politics, and i like how everyone likes each other!

kj charles generally but probably specifically think of england and proper english. i love very few things more in life than murder mysteries. i especially love when people initially at odds fall in love during mystery solving. it warms the cockles of my heart.

protector of the small quartet by tamora pierce - all the tortall books are comfort reads to me but this is THEE comfort read for me. i love kel with my entire body! she is precious to me! tall and buff and even-tempered but as stubborn as a mule. she and dom should have kissed!!!

agatha christie - i powered through every single one of her books available at the start of the plague times. i love the poirot books but i think for general consistency miss marple ones are almost always more solid. miss marple herself is a great outsider detective and i think there's few enough books that agatha couldn't grow to be tired of her lmao

i just powered through the goblin emperor books by katherine addison (had read the first but not the next two) and those are great fantasy books! the lingo is admittedly a bit opaque and hard to parse at first, but once you're in you're in, and the stories are really about human decency and kindness (while also providing political machinations (book 1) and murder (2 and 3), which as we all know are very comforting to me lmao)

tropes (this was really hard lmao and is for sure not definitive):

soulbond/mark/etc aus - a well done soulbond au is my jam. my artisanal preserves. the questions it raises about free will and fate? about someone being meant for you? i think there's really fun angles about like, how even relationships with this extra something still aren't going to be easy and smooth. there's also the aspect of like, strong or weak bonds? romantic or platonic (lol)? can you hear inside someone's head? or do you just feel better around them? or do you just have their name or first words to you sitting on your skin? what happens if it's one sided? what happens if it's unrequited? what happens if you're not ready? what happens if one of you wants it more than the other? what if you fall for someone you're not meant to fall for? these themes are SO fun and i love to explore them.

historical or period aus - i love aus, so jot that down, but when an author clearly loves the historical period and has taken time and care? i am there with my spoon. ALSO codes of conduct and manners just create such fun restraints to force characters who would just fuck it out to do other things because they CAN'T just fuck it out due to SCANDAL

slow burn - none of that 7k shit. but like a proper slow burn? a "takes 10k before they physically touch" slow burn? a "we're 50k in and they might actually kiss oh god please let them kiss" slow burn? mmm!!!! mmmMMMMMMMMMM

break up/make up - the thing is. the thing is!!!!! i like when characters have a history. a past. when they were something really important to each other and then that was ruined and now due to fate and or author contrivance they have been tossed together once more. like a salad. and then! the airing of grievances! the bad decision sex! (oh, the bad decision sex). the realization that there are things you know about them that they haven't told anyone else. you were the one who was there. you're the one who knows!!! in some ways you still might know them best! but right now you are worse than strangers because you may never become acquainted! until suddenly perhaps??? unless??????

arranged marriage / woke up married / marriage of convenience - i am combining all of these because the fact is i love when people get married for stupid reasons (or reasons that are not because of their ~heartfelt feelings~) and then they fall in love with the person they married and have big ol' feelings about it. i'm sure this comes as a shock.

#ask meme

[secretlystephaniebrown]

Books I read in July 2023

20 Books this month! Uh... this list got long, so I'm putting it below the cut.

Weyward by Emily Hart - a solid 'meh" from me. Historical fiction, follows three storylines across three eras. Has vaguely... weird vibes about women/motherhood/witchy stuff. Not a fan. Pretty cover though.

Clytemnestra by Costanza Casate - Listen, I love a Greek Myth retelling. It's fun, and doesn't really girl-boss the story. It's not a favorite, but it's solidly enjoyable.

A Fever in the Heartland by Timothy Egan - A solid nonfiction book, presented as a narrative. It talks about the rebirth of the KKK in the 1920s in the American Midwest. It's interesting and well written, if a bit over-reliant on Big People of History theory.

Binti by Nnedi Okorafor - Binti is very good, but has the issue that a lot of lore-heavy novellas have, which is that there's no room to breathe and absorb the world. Highly recommend though.

Genderqueer by Maia Kobabe - I mean, I did a whole podcast about this one. But it's excellent, and generally a fascinating example of graphic memoir.

The Fiancee Farce by Alexandria Bellefleur - Fake engagement but make it gay! Not perfect, but it's a fun time and a quick read.

Witch King by Martha Wells - MARTHA WELLS STRIKES AGAIN. Probably my favorite thing this month. Fascinating world building, compelling characters, a great narrative.

Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan - I was going to read China Rich Girlfriend but then I realized it's been four years since I read Crazy Rich Asians so I grabbed this back from the library. Still a fun time. Crazy Rich Asians and the sequels read like Regency Romance novels to me, because they're so unhinged from reality in terms of these people's lives. But I love it.

China Rich Girlfriend by Kevin Kwan - A fun sequel, with some fun twists, some great expanded cast, and a delightful premise.

Rich People Problems by Kevin Kwan - Sigh. Last book of the trilogy, and it... doesn't really have a main character, and it suffers a bit from it. The storylines intersect in a kind of artificial way. I liked most of them, but the connective tissue was weaker, so it was my least favorite of the series.

A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin - *chef kiss* Ursula my beloved.

The Crane Husband by Kelly Barnhill - I'm actually not... particularly familiar with the Crane Wife as a story? Never was part of my life growing up. But this is a delightful little novella about a girl whose mother brings home a crane one day. Check the trigger warnings for this one, but it's fun.

Nimona by N.D. Stevenson - I watched the movie then read the graphic novel. I love both. They're so different, but I love both for their own strengths, if that makes sense? It's just so good.

Yellowface by R.F. Kuang - I've read a few other Kuang books, and I think this one is my favorite. Because it's a satyr, the problems in Babel with her lack of subtly doesn't really drag it down. It can be broad, and obvious, and project everything, and it's just funny, rather than frustrating.

Paper Girls volume 5 by Brian K. Vaughan, Cliff Chiang, Matt Wilson, Jared K. Fletcher - Finally wrapping this one up! I love this series, it's a fun time.

Paper Girls Volume 6 - Thank you Hoopla app for letting me check out the final volume immediately after I finished the fifth one. A SOLID story overall.

Poirot Investigates by Agatha Christie - I've had this weird little project going for a while to read all of the Poirot stories in order, and this short story collection is #3. Not sure this one worked for me as well as the others. But I felt satisfied when I finished it.

A Spindle Splintered by Alix E. Harrow - Mm. not for me. I liked the Harrow novel I've read previously, but this "modern fairytale" thing didn't do it for me. Very short though, and the illustrations were fun.

Lady Tan's Circle of Women by Lisa See - I did NOT expect to read this one in a day. I picked it up, fully prepared to read this slowly, since I often take my time with historical fiction before it clicks. But no. This was amazing. I couldn't put it down. I really appreciate a historical fiction that doesn't... push contemporary values onto the characters, but goes "yeah this is what people felt and thought at the time". Like this character is going to be on board with footbinding, and be upset that she had daughters, and it's wonderful! The other candidate for top book of the month.

Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld - "what if SNL romance?" A female comedy writer for not-SNL falls in love with a musician who guest-hosts. The story is divided into two parts; their first meeting, and then their reunion during COVID isolation times. The first part is fun; a quirky little meet-cute odd couple thing. And then... uh, the separation is kind of random and I don't like the 2020 section as much. It's... fine? But I enjoyed it less than the first part, and often felt like the characters were having the same conversations over and over again. But still enjoyable and fun if you enjoy an m/f contemporary novel.

#Steph Speaks

[preeningpisces]

ENFP/ENTP, 7w6 I think??? I get wildly different results everytime I take that test lmao

Leo Sun, Pisces Moon, Scorpio Rising

Currently Reading (and hating): The Fisherman

Currently Watching: Apothecary Diaries

Current Favorite Song: Eudaemonia

Personality: I’m talkative, and tend to speak before thinking. Major oversharer. Terrible liar, but prone to fibbing anyway. Intense. Sensitive and moody. Either super shy or extremely bold - no in between. Chronically late (rip). Spontaneous and impulsive. A bit obsessive. Daydreamer. Big attention hoe!

Some fun facts: played piano for 13 years, I have older parents so I like a lot of old movies/music. Despite being friendly I’m actually the worst customer service employee ever (when customers call me a bitch they’re right). In a bookclub!

My Pisces moon is in the 3rd house which rules writing, so I thought it was perfect to theme the blog around :3

I love love love horror books and video games, and hope to reflect my love for darker themes in writing once I gain more confidence. I'm kind of a wuss when it comes to movies but I'm slowly working my way through them

Things that inspire me: Cosmic horror! Soulsborne/Elden Ring, Fear and Hunger, Dye - Fantasy, Beserk, gothic romance

An Assortment of Faves

Anime: Mushi Shi!!! My fave of all time. FMAB, Nana, Chainsaw Man, Mononoke, Count of Monte Cristo, Kami-Sama Kiss, Soul Eater, Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Gekken Shojo Nozaki-Kun, Ouran Highschool Hostclub

Manga: Tokyo Ghoul, Blood on the Tracks, Dorohedoro

TV shows: Fleabag, BoJack Horseman, Hannibal, Midnight Mass, Interview with the Vampire, Avatar, Gravity Falls, What We Do in the Shadows, Bobs Burgers, Face Off, Drag Race

Books: Between Two Fires, Migrations, The Haar, Misery, The Seed, Edgar Allen Poe, Lovecraft

Video Games: Skyrim, Wolf Among Us, Dragon Age, Soulsborne / Eldin Ring, Fear and Hunger, Sims, Overwatch (rip), Animal Crossing, Baldur's Gate 3, way too many indie horror games to list here but I’ll list Kohlat

Movies: Amadeus, The Ritual, Babe, As Above So Below, Bride and Prejudice, Interview with the Vampire, The Princess Bride, Arsenic and Old Lace, Song of the Sea, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hercules, Prince of Egypt, Origin, Howl’s Moving Castle, Nausicaa, Princess Mononoke, Room with a View, Scream, Most Detective Poirot movies

Music: Cosmo Sheldrake, Mrs. Piss, Hozier, Doja Cat, Sza, Slipknot, Heart, Credence Clearwater Revival, Queen, EXO, Fuji Kaze, Herb Alpert, Ethel Cain

[chrissmou]

My October- November Reads

Hi! I know that some of these books should have come to you Last month but I also read only 4 books so I thought that I would show my 11 books for this month. These books as you see are mostly three series of books, All Souls Trilogy, The Selection, and the Jane Ladling Mysteries. There are other books from facts to romance and mysteries but those are the most of them. I would have the name of the month I read them at the Top of its books and I will also provide you with their Good Reads Links so you can go check them out:

October

Shadow of Night (All Souls Trilogy #2) (Deborah Harkness): A book with historical and fantastic elements that made me want to think about this trilogy which I loved in a very different way. Even if I loved the book the part in Woodstock in the beginning was boring to me but all the others had a very good pace and plots in them. It is a book written by a historian who knows how to make you travel in the past.

Art that Changed the World (DK Publications): A book with facts about paintings mostly from the Western world especially after the Renaissance it is very well written but, in my opinion, we would have to see more global exhibits and more in other forms like sculpture or architecture. I liked it as my first read in the art world and am excited to read more about it.

The World of All Souls (Deborah Harkness): Before I started reading the last book of the Trilogy, I decided to read this one. It is about the trilogy with character descriptions and descriptions of Lifestyle and art in the books and how the author came up with the main ideas of science and magic.

The Books of Life (All Souls Trilogy #3) (Deborah Harkness): This book is very different from the first two books in the trilogy it is not romance like the first or historical like the second. It is more of a drama, thriller, and suspense with plot twists that make it very thrilling and exciting to read. I like the character development of the two protagonists and how we learn more about them in the process too.

November

Romancing the Gravestone (Jane Ladling Mysteries #1) (Gena Showalter): This is a very fun read and the mystery is very intriguing but not the most difficult to solve. I loved the main character, Jane Ladling, and her method of solving crime and her quirky output of life and fashion too. She tends to wear hats.

No Gravestone Left Unturned (Jane Ladling Mysteries #2) (Gena Showalter): The Second book is good in how the protagonist solves another murder but also has the quirky elements of the first. I liked the development between the protagonists.

Game of Gravestones (Jane Ladling Mysteries #3) (Gena Showalter): I loved this book as it has both the first date and the first kiss of the protagonists but also a really fun murder game in the beginning and a good plot twist in the end.

Twelve Graves of Christmas (Jane Ladling Mysteries #3.5) (Gena Showalter): This is the only book in the series that doesn’t have a murder but it is mostly filled with a romantic holiday atmosphere yes in the graveyard and all the good plots of a close-proximity romance. It has a mystery though about cults and revenge.

Conrad: Falling for the Gravekeeper (Jane Ladling Mysteries #4) (Gena Showalter): This is the first book from a different perspective than Conrad’s, Jane’s boyfriend in the other books. It is the same mystery but Conrad’s first perception of Jane is hilarious, he reminds him of a human cupcake and how in all of the mystery can’t stop thinking about her.

Crooked House (Agatha Cristie): I loved this small Cristie despite not having Poirot or Miss Marple. It has all the amazing attributes of a Christie novel, complex characters, and plots but also the romance in it and the mystery of it. Of course, it is also a big house divided into parts but it also has a close circle of suspects something that I love in a Christie mystery.

Grave Wars (Jane Ladling Mysteries #5) (Gena Showalter): This is the last of the written books in the series and the most intriguing as it is the first that Conrad and Jane work with the real police as Conrad tries to become the new sheriff of the town of Aurelian Hills but there is a new murder that needs solving. There will be another book in 2024.

Can I tell you Something? (Holly June Smith): This spicy and romantic set in an Alpine resort and Cabin with descriptive Christmas traditions makes you want to jump into it and in the place of the female protagonist. She is witty and sweet and the sister of the best friend of the protagonist. But she also knows the second part of his second job as an erotica audio actor.

The Selection (Selection #1) (Kiera Cass): I liked the first installment of this series. I don’t read many dystopian novels but I liked that one. The style of writing was good and the main characters were complex. I would love to know about some side characters and that is why we have the novellas to complete series.

 The Queen (Selection #0.4) (Kiera Cass): I liked this one about the Selection before and the parents of the current prince. I liked how sweet and innocent the queen was but the character of the king was a little bit aggressive and egoistical in my opinion.

The Prince (Selection #0.5) (Kiera Cass): I liked this one about Prince Maxon in the days before the start of the Selection to the second with America. I liked how he thought about how to win her over from the beginning. I liked their hilarious from his point of view too.

#romance books #books #my ramblings #agatha cristie #fact books #mystery books #short stories #cosy mystery #all souls trilogy #the selection #Jane Ladling mysteries

[cornholio4]

A Date With Prince Ali

Author’s note: I admit I was using this story as an excuse to gush about Knives Out; an enjoyable movie even if you're like me and your biggest exposure to mystery stories are Scooby Doo episodes and movies.Over a year of Ladybug salt and LIla Salt; different types of stories and using pairings with Felix and Damian Wayne (not a fan of either of those pairings to be honest). Then I realised why not try one that is Marinette X Ali as surprisingly enough there are no stories of that yet.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng just sighed when class was just finishing and Lila began spinning off her latest tale about some celebrities that she had supposedly met, really it was quite frustrating how all suckered in they were. Nino told everyone about how his parents were taking his little brother Chris to an appointment so they could have their own party there with him as a DJ.

Lila of course said she would love to come over when she has time and has another story she has been waiting for the right moment to tell them. This made Marinette groaned and Marinette almost missed it when Nino asked if she can expect to find her there.

"Oh no sorry Nino, I already have plans..." Marinette told him and then saw disappointed glances from most of the classmates as this was another occasion she had missed out with Lila involved. "Look sorry but I already have plans; I'm going to go see Knives Out tonight." Marinette explained and everyone looked at her incredulously as everything they knew about the movie didn't seem like it would be one Marinette would see.

Then of course Lila was putting up a facade of how disappointed she was that Marinette would not be coming. "Really girl, if you don't want to come because Lila is coming then you can at least be honest and tell us... No need to make up a story on the spot..." Alya chided her and Marinette sighed at her words along with the disapproval that came from Adrien.

It wasn't an excuse and she really did plan to go see the movie that afternoon, she had been looking forward to it for some time.

What her classmates didn't know was that she was actually a big fan of mystery stories, from her childhood of watching mystery movies with her parents (she watched a lot of the TV show about Hercule Poirot), watching Scooby Doo as well as reading the Agatha Christie books. She actually loved watching the mysteries build up with all the clues and red herrings built up and put together in the ending.

In fact when she was accused of stealing by Chloe she was putting her deductive skills to rest and she also got to use them when she began to suspect that Adrien's father was Hawk Moth. She rarely got to use the skills she developed from all the mysteries stories she had seen and read.

True the deductive skills failed to convince her classmates that Lila was lying but that was neither here nor there.

Later she got home and noticed a parcel for her and she opened it to see a necklace looking like it came from the kingdom of Achu and guessed it must have come from her secret admirer again. She had been getting presents and letters in the mail for a small while from a secret admirer saying they had only just gotten the courage to send these tokens of their feelings towards her.

She began wondering who it could be with her first hope being that it was from Adrien but soon her feelings began dying out. It had to do with his words about Lila's lying not hurting anyone.

What instantly could get her out of a Lila related sour mood was wondering who could be her secret admirer; she had yet to tell Alya about it. Mostly because she was pretty much dreading whatever scheme Alya could cook up to find out who it could be.

Some of the presents were mostly jewellery and she figured it must be someone well off, one of her first candidates was Luka but looking at the expensive jewellery it may not be there. Unless the Couffaines were secretly wealthy and were being humble about it to the point of living in their small houseboat. Currently her best candidate would be Kagami.

Her parents were gushing about her latest gift from her admirer and were encouraging her to wear it for the movie today. She thought it would be a little much but she decided to do so. She had changed into a detective outfit she had designed and Tikki was asking about where it came from.

She had explained that during the last summer at a birthday party for one of her cousins; it was a murder mystery role play party that she was so excited for and designed everyone's outfit. Her role was as the lead detective's deputy.

She had gotten to the door but then saw someone enter through the door and it was someone in a hooded jacket along with some sort of chaperone bodyguard. The person took his hood down and saw it was Prince Ali of Achu.

"Prince Ali, what a surprise..." Marinette blurted out remembering when she had last saw him as Ladybug. Rose had told everyone about how excited she was to have ice cream with him and some time ago she had been disappointed to tell them that Prince Ali admitted to her in his last message that he liked someone else and was sending her letters before he can finally confess in person.

She felt sorry for Rose and tried to console her along with the other classmates, Lila made a half hearted story that she was asked by Prince Ali himself to keep it secret that she liked some other princess. Of course they had eaten it up.

Rose had said that Prince Ali really spoke fondly of her and said he hadn't had a chance to see her along but she was kind, clumsy and adorable with a passion for fashion.

Marinette knew that Prince Ali was in France related to a charity he was doing and how it would be a busy one, Lila made up a claim that she would try and see if they can get time to get them to see him again. Lucky Lila counted on the fact that it was reported that he would only be in France for 3 days and how unlikely it would be that he would be in Paris to see them.

A part of her thought about directly asking him about Lila but she decided she didn't want to use him like this to settle a grudge against a bully.

"Marinette, hasn't had time to see you directly..." Prince Ali admitted to her with a blush with Marinette feeling like she should be questioning why he was there. "I managed to make enough time in my schedule to come here and see the girl I liked." Prince Ali told her sheepishly and Marinette froze having put the clues together:

The presents having come at the same time when Rose talked to Prince Ali with his message about sending presents to his crush and the description of this crush.

Uh oh...

"I am... flattered your majesty but... Rose likes you and I am sure a girl code or a sis code exists..." Marinette trying to come up with the best excuse she could do. Her parents were no help as they were gushing about it and how Marinette was always a princess to them.

"Rose is a good friend but I can't help it when I saw a pretty girl and what Rose told me about you; how helpful and kind you are. I noticed your designs on your website and I was amazed by your talents. Plus the achievements you have made." Prince Ali told her and Marinette's cheeks began going red. "Are you doing anything tonight?" He asked hopefully and she shook her head.

"Sorry but I already made plans, I want to see this movie at the cinema called Knives Out..." Marinette told him and Prince Ali put out his hand offering to treat her to a movie. Her brain shut down and it only rebooted again when she noticed she was led to his limo.

She smiled awkwardly at Prince Ali as she sat next to him, she then began wondering if she even liked him like that. He was handsome alright but that was not enough for her to fall for someone; she knew Adrien was handsome but didn't care for him when she thought he was a bully friend of Chloe. She only started to fall for him at the umbrella incident.

Maybe she could give Prince Ali a try as he was a nice boy starting charities and being nothing but kind to Rose.

They reached the cinema and Prince Ali helped Marinette out as they entered with his chaperone and his hood disguise back up, they got in line and paid for their tickets. They got to the screening room and Marinette noticed Aurore and Mireille there who recognised Marinette but not her apparent date. They were going as Chris Evans fans and were wierded out when Marinette revealed she was a mystery fan.

They sat down and the ads and trailers played and followed by a message from the movie's director Rian Johnson asking the audience not to spoil the ending to their friends as it was a whodunit mystery. Marinette with a serious look on her face zipped her mouth shut at that which Prince Ali laughed at and she just looked sheepish.

They watched the movie and during the first act Marinette saw how intentionally horrible most of the characters were. while because she hated being scared was the main reason why she hated horror movies another one was because it was hard to like any of the characters in those movies and want to see them survive.

They laughed at scenes in it (especially at Daniel Craig's hilarious accent) while Marinette was analysing any potential clues and feeling tense as it went on. The movie ended and Marinette left with Prince Ali gushing with the others about how good it was but Marinette made a move of asking they be silent about spoilers when they got out of the cinema room.

Marinette took mystery stories very seriously.

They got out of the cinema and Marinette gave him a kiss on the cheek as they went began smiling awkwardly at each other. Then somebody shouted that it was Prince Ali and they just noticed his hood fell down. They quickly got back into the limo and it drove off.

The paparazzi followed them back to the bakery and Prince Ali helped Marinette out and got her into her home as they had taken pictures of them.

At Nino's party, Nino had told her big story and was going on about how twenty minutes ago Prince Ali phoned her about some paperwork he had just finished at the moment to open an orphanage in her name.

Then Rose screamed out looking at her phone saying Prince Ali was in Paris right now and was seen exiting their local cinema with a date! She was gushing about Prince Ali finding love with her crush but then the classmates began looking at Lila asking about what she had just said despite her attempts to change the subject.

Curse the horrid timing.

Rose's eyes were bulging and told everyone to come and see who it was and everyone was speechless when they saw the photos. Lila looked herself and let her frustration get the better of her and ranted about Marinette on the spot.

#Ml salt fic #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #lila salt #oneshot #drabble #fanfic #also on ao3 #also on fanfiction.net #also on ao3 and fanfiction #also on fanfiction and ao3 #prince ali #Marinette X Prince Ali #i promise no Knives Out spoilers #no Knives Out spoilers #Knives Out

[chamint-w]

Discover 10 crazy laws in the world

There are plenty of weird laws in the world that might look different from your country's laws. I am sure that this article will surprise you and might make you laugh because there will be some laws that do not really make sense!

Let’s get started!

1. In Quitman Georgia, the government does not allow the chicken to cross the road. The owners must take responsibility to have chickens under control all the time because there might be a problem after the chicken gets crushed.

2. In Nevada Eureka, it is prohibited for men who grow their mustache or beard to kiss women. It is no longer enforced.

3. In Thailand people must wear underwear before leaving their house, it is illegal to stay in public without wearing underwear! As I am Thai, I haven’t heard anybody being arrested because of not following this law.

4. People are not allowed to fart in public after 6 p.m. on Thursdays! In Florida, it is illegal to release gas from the bowels through the anus. It has not been enforced because there is some debate that it is not clear why pass wind in public gets prohibited.

5. You cannot flush the toilet after 10 p.m. in Switzerland. It is quite strict that people must clear their business before 10 p.m. It is the apartments’ law because it might create the noise to disturb the neighbours in the apartment.

6. People are not allowed to have a donkey sleeping in their bathtub after 7 p.m. in Arizona. There was a flooding situation in the town caused by the dam breaking, the donkey was still in the bathtub, so this law was basically created to protect the animal, but it does not exist anymore.

7. People are legally required to give a smiley face at all times except in the hospitals and funerals in Milan Italy. This was created for the way to bring the frame to Milan  

8. It is forbidden to get fat in Japan. It is illegal for people 40 years old to get fat because they care about the health risk.

9. Running out of petrol or gas is illegal in Germany’s Autobahn. Drivers are required to fill the gas or petrol before going on the highway. This will bring a huge problem to the driver and other people if they run out of fuel.

10. It is forbidden in a part of France if you die without having a Pre-Purchase Burial Plot. People cannot die within the town of Sarpourenx, unless they have the burial plot.

These are some weird laws that I would like to share with you, some laws might not have been enforced. 

References

Ingle, P. (n.d.). Weird Laws from Around the world. Holidify. https://www.holidify.com/pages/weird-laws-from-around-the-world-1519.html

Poirot, L. (2021, May 5). 50 Weird Laws Around the World. Far&wide. https://www.farandwide.com/s/weird-laws-world-4961c1ede8d749bf

Ford, I. (2020, September 22). Top 10 Weird Laws from Around the World. The Lawyer Portal. https://www.thelawyerportal.com/blog/top-10-weirdest-laws-around-world/

#weird laws #crazy laws #weird laws around the world

[missorgana]

holiday getaway

pairing: jonathan byers/nancy wheeler/steve harrington

fandom: stranger things

rating: general

word count: 1587

warning: swearing, alcohol

summary: Nancy, Jonathan, Steve, and the Christmas times they share. (canon compliant, 3+1 things)

(of course my own 12 days of fanfiction event is belated as hell. anywayyyy thank you to @poirot​ for the prompt, ily and really hope you enjoy this babeeee 💖 it went in a weird direction but,, yeah !!! softies)

read on ao3

1) Nancy + Steve

Nancy knows she can’t quite escape the family Christmas spectacle. At least, her mother’s obsessed with the picture perfect thought, despite the others wanting to be about everywhere else than home.

She can tell that Mike wishes his friends were there. Their father probably doesn’t care for the holidays altogether.

And as insufferable as her younger brother comes, she feels bad for him. She’d also feel the same way, if the only friend she cared about, her true friend, wasn’t taken away from her.

But Steve’s here. And the day before Christmas Eve, Nancy rings on his doorbell, and he kisses her cheek, and they sort of pretend everything’s okay for the night.

Sometimes, she envies that her boyfriend’s parents are barely home, but she also knows not to say, because what kind of thing is that to be jealous about, really?

He’s wearing a t-shirt, because he’s stupid like that.

Steve also hugs her a lot, probably because her sweater is exceptionally soft, and he freezes easily, even though he’ll never admit it.

She likes it here.

It’s a kind of peace Nancy’s never known at home, and even though she can’t help thinking of Jonathan, and the way he looks at her changed, like it’s not quite a frown anymore, she feels good.

Her boyfriend doesn’t mention what they got up to in the other boy’s house. To be fair, he wasn’t meant to be involved anyway. But here they are.

And Nancy knows, ever since their first date, that Steve is  good . It feels like she’s known him forever, and her boyfriend always laughs at her when she looks at him, but like, it’s like she looks right through him.

Through the hands in his pockets, and the constant fixing of that stupidly perfect hair, all of it. Funny how she once thought he was the definition of being cool and collected.

Nancy likes this version of him more, she thinks.

And she swore he gave Jonathan a smile when the whole thing was over. The boy told her he apologised, so she’s got proof, even if Steve still wants to convince himself all those monsters was a vivid dream of his own imagination.

Nancy guesses that coping method gives him peace of his own. So she won’t convince him otherwise.

They all got their own ways. Even herself.

2) Jonathan + Nancy

There’s not much in this life, whether that be before his little brother’s disappearance, the madness that infested his previously though perpetually boring town, or falling in love with a girl entirely out of his league - Jonathan hadn’t prepared for anything. At all.

That’s a given in a town like Hawkins. Only thing he could plan was, eventually, to get as far away from here as possible.

This plan mostly resided in his own mind. God knows it would break his mom’s heart right now.

But let’s say Jonathan’s been given some reasons to stay. Most importantly, he’ll take care of Will, and his mother.

He’s always put them first, because his mom carries so much on her shoulders, and he’s promised himself to only leave when he knew she would be okay. He owes her that much.

And now, seeing his brother in pain, surely dealing with trauma that he won’t let anyone in on, it hurts.

But his family, that’s a given in his mind.

Nancy, she’s a reason he didn’t account for at first. And when she stays overnight, before she gets to enjoy her own Christmas nightmare, as she calls her family, he still doesn’t quite believe this is happening.

She seemed like this flawless concept of a person before he actually met her, and while she’s still perfect in his own mind, it’s the little things she does, ones he didn’t expect, that makes him feel warm.

Nancy smiles less now, and Jonathan knows Barb still got a piece of her she won’t get back.

And Steve, well, he doesn’t really know. They got issues.

It’s actually kind of strange. The other boy surprised him, that’s for sure, but given the only idea he had of him was a massive douche, it’s easy to improve.

Jonathan actually tries.

It’s when Nancy’s walking around his room, taking it in with her eyes sparkling in a particular way, like it felt less real like the neverending shit Hawkins gave them, and the question of how Steve’s doing escapes his lips.

She shrugs.

Why should he care, he supposes. He can’t let it go, shockingly enough, but Jonathan can tell when he oversteps boundaries like that.

And the girl’s head on his chest when they turn off the lights, warm breath on his throat, it’s like finding a peace he’s been searching for. For a long time.

3) Steve + Jonathan

When Steve receives word of the Byers’ returning to Hawkins for the holidays, just a week, they said, he felt some kind of obligation to do something.

Greet them, at least. But he doesn’t.

The douchebags from the team keep asking him what it’s like to have his girl stolen by a loser, which doesn’t make sense, because they broke up way before the two became official, but also, Steve’s glad he had enough brain to leave those kinds of friends behind.

Jonathan isn’t a loser. He did give him a good punch, but given their history, he felt it tied them. Or not really, cause god knows he’s given Jonathan hell.

If right should be right, the other boy should give him 10 punches. At least.

And believe it or not, he really does consider going to the Byers house. Why is that?

Because of Jonathan, which is weird.

Steve doesn’t imagine them being friends, mostly because of his own faults. He does babysit all those kids, he could say hi to Will. Would be decent of him.

But shit, he’s too much of a coward.

He apologised, but Steve doesn’t feel it’s enough. Can’t really look himself in the mirror when it comes to… everything, really.

Nope, better to head straight home from work, and Robin left an hour earlier, so it’s not like he got any excuses to go anywhere else. It’s Christmas day, for heaven's sake. Steve wasn’t surprised when his parents left a note about some business trip earlier in the week. Again.

What does surprise him is finding the boy he’s been desperately avoiding sitting on the hood of his car.

And like the idiot he is, Steve attempts to clear his throat, but it comes out like a wheeze, and Jonathan gives him a look like he’s thinking too hard about math problems, or whatever.

And even though he doesn’t understand why the boy’s here, or how he found out where he works, for that matter, not much conversation happens.

Jonathan’s brought two beers with him.

Steve considers asking about Nancy, but doesn’t.

Just two bros drinking beer and freezing their asses off, like they didn’t kill a monster together mere months ago.

Maybe that’s why he finds some sort of comfort within himself when Jonathan puts his hand on top of his. The silence is more peaceful than he ever expected.

+1) Nancy + Steve + Jonathan

Like much else in Nancy’s life, by now, at least, another Christmas comes by, and she finds herself wondering how this particular situation happened.

Well, no, she’s part of it.

She’s not sure she completely understands it, but being tucked away with Jonathan…  and Steve, it’s different in an otherworldly, comfortable way.

Nancy had always thought of herself getting married to Steve, having a couple kids, and probably following the footsteps of her own nuclear family.

She hated that thought when her mother’s unhappiness shined through the facade, but what else choice did she have in Hawkins?

Well, her boys are holding hands. Didn’t see that coming. But she likes it.

And despite their hesitation when she suggested this thing, all three of them,  together,  their tiny smiles made her know they wanted to, anyway. Maybe her, and their fear, of this closeknit society that very easily borders on toxicity, faded away.

She knows hers did.

Mike initially looked confused, but come on, he’s seen weirder things. They pinkie promise not to slip any word to their parents.

God, she feels childish. But after all this shit, and chaos, well, it’s like their sibling hood's reborn, or something.

Or maybe Mike’s just maturing. Maybe she’s maturing. Who knows.

Regardless of the where, how, why, who, Steve lets them in his all too empty house, and the mutual agreement of silence, small serenity, quickly changes to laughing til their stomachs aches, and Jonathan’s new camera almost runs out of film.

Lots of kisses. Nancy can’t get enough, really.

And in a way it hasn’t before, the family wars of Christmas morning don’t seem quite as intimidating anymore.

She hopes Mike and his friends are having fun. That El’s hurting less.

She also agrees to be the little spoon, even though Jonathan’s spot in the middle is pretty damn warm, she imagines, but they figure out a deal of changing up every once in a while.

And with the boy’s arms around her waist, and Steve’s hand grazing her own, there’s probably not much that would compare to this.

Nancy doesn’t even need the music drowning the world out at that moment, and yeah, the bed’s just a tad too small for the three of them, but they huddle close regardless. They’ll keep warm. And safe.

#mine #my writing #stedit #stoncy #fanfiction #stranger things #netflixedit #queernet #creatorssource #eloquencenet #steve x nancy x jonathan #polyamory #christmas #tw: swearing #tw: alcohol #holding hands #fluff #canon compliant #canon divergence #general rating #throuple #strangerthingsedit #usersabrina #usernise #alternating pov

[caritobbg]

Secret Love Song (Part 3)

Part 1 Part 2

"Next time I'll let you get me ready for a date" said Penelope jumping from happiness "let's get to work sweeties! The time is approaching and Joey will come in at any moment to kick us out of here " "Ok ... I guess I'll have to close my eyes, right?" "I'm sorry to say yes, you can't see until we finish enlisting, again" Emily always had an emergency plan ready for these cases "I can only say that this is true to your style"

"AND…. ready!!!" adding a beautiful necklace from your favorite series "Can I see myself already?" "Yes, darling" said Penelope "turn it around and open your eyes"

When she looked in the mirror she was speechless, Emily hit the mark! She was not one of her best friends for nothing since she joined the team.

"I ... Em ... I ..." surprised; it looked amazing! "It's time! Go to your places "said Joey entering with Rossi "Go see you in half an hour!" (Y / N) said with a giant smile as they waved her off and wished her luck "You look beautiful little one!" said that person who she considered her father "I wish Reid were here, I would have no words to describe you" laughing "Yes ..." with a muffled voice and looking at her feet "but there is someone else in her heart ..." "Don't be so sure" sitting next to her "what did she tell you?" “That he was in love with a friend who since the day he met her cannot get her out of his head. I know it's not me ... " "Come here" hugging her "how is it that you are so sure what not ..." “David, I am not the girl of your dreams. I'm shy, clumsy, distracted, I hate going out to nightclubs… ” "Hey! Don't even think about saying that again !!! " Rossi said making her look at him “of all the girls he's dated, they all considered him a weirdo, they never made it past the first date. You are the only one who saw it with other eyes that were not to judge it "he said firmly" I am very sure that you are that girl " “Her name is Kiara” (Y / N) said with a trembling voice “I know they were seeing each other, I know that Spence likes that girl. I know it's not me "

"Come on, it's about time" Joey said again "The fourth person is already finishing singing" “Okay…” as they got up “is Cam there? "Yes, he came in next to us" Rossi put a hand on her shoulder "they told me that one of those is going to make her angry, a lot" "It better all go well ... and yes, the first one is going to make him angry" laughing "he deserves it"

“There he is," Derek said whispering and glancing at Cam as he sat down at one of the tables in the front row. "Remember the plan" meeting with Hotch "we must not approach if there is no suspicious movement" “(Y / N) will be the last. After I finish he will come with us ... " "Surely he will come too, almost a year ago they finished" said Spencer "will try to do something" "And that's when we'll catch him" added Rossi "I'll go talk to Joey, it's already starting," he said by the time the lights dimmed and he began to give a brief introduction of the first person who was going to sing.

Time flew by. Spencer kept thinking about the things that could go right or wrong… she thought about what (Y / N) would sing, dance, and how she would be dressed for the occasion. He had heard Garcia and JJ talk about wanting it to be something “sexy”, to leave everyone who passed by drooling and, of course, he did not like that idea, he felt more nervous than before ...

"Easy kid!" Derek said taking some of his drink "Derek, we are not supposed to drink in the middle of work" whispering and listening to a man in his 50s singing Queen's Love of my Life. “You don't have to suspect us” referring to Cam “also, this is grape juice” "I know you don't have to suspect us" "I know you are afraid, but nothing will go wrong, and do not come with the statistics, on this precise day they do not count" "(Y / N)?" asked on the intracom Hotch seeing that Emily, Penelope and JJ were approaching "Nervous. He's talking to Rossi "JJ replied sitting in their respective places" we already saw our unsub "

The next two people sang love songs again, TOO cloying for Spencer's taste, you could feel the sweetness and love in the air. I was begging (Y / N) to cut with that, it was not something surprising. By the time the fourth person had finished his performance of L’amore si Muove by Il Volo, he knew that her turn was approaching. His nerves took hold of him when he saw Rossi approaching the bar to order a whiskey while he motioned for her to come talk to him.

"What's going on?" once it got closer. "(Y / N) told me that you were dating a certain Kiara" he said without mincing words "is that so?" “Ah… I…” but she couldn't lie “yes… an old friend from college… we went out a couple of times, but I told her that I didn't want anything with her, that my heart was with someone else” "And why didn't you tell her you didn't see her anymore?" "I don't know ... I panicked and it was the only thing I could say" "Do not worry child. Today is your chance to fix things "

“Ladies and gentlemen” said Joey once the applause had stopped “our last participant is a very special client for us, and today she is going to delight us with her beautiful voice… she will sing two incredible songs: one by the famous English band Little Mix, the second, an indistinct song that we will hear for the first time here live and direct. Please give (Y / N) a loud applause !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ” -------------------------------------------------

(Y / N) POV’s I started dancing and singing all over the place, I was nervous but happy to do this, I had to unburden myself of everything that this damn thing did to me in these years of relationship. I was with Cam for four years, in the last one it was that he changed and I decided to cut, I couldn't take it anymore ...

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFDzhKdrN9M)

“This is a shout out to my ex Heard he in love with some other chick Yeah yeah, that hurt me, I'll admit Forget that boy, I'm over it I hope she gettin' better sex Hope she ain't fakin' it like I did, babe Took four long years to call it quits Forget that boy, I'm over it…”

And it was a one way trip !!!! I never felt so free in my life, seeing his angry face was what I wanted to provoke, something easy to capture once and for all! He wouldn't hurt any more girls, he wouldn't do the same thing he did to me anymore. I kept singing with a smile until the moment I least wanted came. I could hear Penelope cheering me on and shouting my name from one of the last tables, I laughed when I saw her together with JJ and Emily screaming and singing, seeing the astonished faces of Dave, Hotch, even Derek !!!! Her jaw almost touched the floor !!!!! But… I was looking for that tall, intelligent, shy boy, my best friend… what am I saying? Best friend? No, it wasn't just that.

"Thank you all!!!! That was fun "while trying to smile" I have to confess that I was never very good with words, less when it came to expressing my deepest feelings ... I realized that when I returned home a few weeks ago ... "sighing I progressed with the first that came to mind “… at that time, I didn't know if love at first sight actually existed, I thought it was a passing thing. It wasn't until something happened that made me realize that it does exist. ", I sat on the stool in front of the keyboard, wondering whether to say his name or not ..." when I found out that that person who made me believe in that started dating one of his best friends, my world fell apart, I could never get to confess how I felt, I never got to tell him that since I met him a few years ago on my first day of work I felt that I was going to be someone special in my life, I could not confess that I loved him. And… if I have to be honest, I am happy that I have found someone who can give you everything that is out of my reach… The song is called Secret Love Song, because I never dared to say any of the things that I saved for myself. I dedicate it to my best friend… ” fuck it! Just say his name !!! "Spencer Reid."

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUblXdhp1r0)

We keep behind closed doors Every time I see you, I die a little more Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls It'll never be enough As you drive me to my house I can't stop these silent tears from rolling down You and I both have to hide On the outside where I can't be yours and you Can't be mine But I know this We got a love that is homeless

Why can't I hold you in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? 'Cause I'm yours Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? 'Cause I'm yours

It's obvious you're meant for me Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep But I'll never show it on my face But we know this, we got a love that is homeless

Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours

I don't wanna live love this way I don't wanna hide us away I wonder if it ever will change I'm living for that day Someday....

I remembered the moment when he accidentally kissed me once leaving the cinema and arriving at my apartment. He had told me that it had been a mistake, something on impulse, and I was stupid and told him exactly the same thing ... my tears were already trying to spill ...

* "Thanks Spence, I had a lot of fun tonight" I said smiling "I hope that, if there is no case, we can repeat it again" "It's nothing" like me "and I would love to repeat it again" “But…” she looked at me in confusion “next time it will be here at home with an Agatha Christie’s Poirot marathon. I can't believe you've never seen the series !!!!! " seeing how he laughed at my statement "I mean it" "I'll get the popcorn then" her smile ... I felt trapped in her We both fell silent, dangerously close to each other, her lips brushing against mine in a careless moment. "(Y / N) l ... sorry ... I ..." clearing his throat "I shouldn't have done that, it was a ... big mistake by ..." "Don't worry Spence" trying to sound calm "I think ... you should go home, it's getting late and we have to go to work and ..." "I promise to let you know when I arrive" he said in a thread of voice "see you tomorrow" and then run away and leave me alone with my thoughts. *

When you hold me in the street And you kiss me on the dance floor I wish that we could be like that Why can't we be like that 'Cause I'm yours, I'm yours

Oh, why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? 'Cause I'm yours Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours…

I paused a little and, meeting those beautiful caramel eyes, I continued with the last verse while tears fell from mine ...

Why can't we be like that? Wish we could be like that....

Everyone was clapping, but I couldn't stop staring at him. He looked beautiful with that lilac shirt, dark blue jeans, different colored stockings and his black conversations ruined by constant use ... I felt stupid to be in love with someone who doesn't feel the same ...

"Thank you all" I finally said to get out of there.

"YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE" I felt a strong grip on my neck and a cold metal on my head, the more I struggled to release myself, the more force Cameron made; I could see Penelope, Aaron and David taking people out of the place to keep them safe, and Emily, JJ, Derek and Spence pointing at us. Nice way to celebrate Valentine's Day, right?

"CAMERON, LET HER NOW" Derek yelled without lowering the gun "We don't want to hurt you" "Hurt?" he said laughing “how funny, here the only one who hurt me was HER !!! HE ABANDONED ME, LEFT ME IN MISERY !!! " "You hurt me" tried to push him "you mistreated me, you hit me and you cheated" "QUIET!" the gun was going to leave a permanent mark on my head if I kept pressing it "Cam, listen, I know she hurt you ..." Spencer started to say to play along "she left you alone ... I understand that you want revenge, but this doesn't have to end like this" 

My mind raced thinking about what I was going to do, I had to get out of her arms unscathed, or try to do it. She wasn't going to let this bastard get away with it. "Love ..." making him look at me "love, I'm sorry .... I'm sorry I left you, I didn't know what I was doing. Without you I am… lost… ”his breathing began to accelerate“ do you remember… that Il Volo song that I like so much? ” humming the song "... my heart paused, hugging nothing, clinging to nothing ... my illusion is blind ... there is no tomorrow ..." I felt his grip loosen and, without saying that any sound came out of my throat, I managed to look at Spencer and say "I'm sorry ..."

After that I felt a stabbing pain and everything went black ...

#Criminal Minds #Aaron Hotchner #Jennifer Jareau #Derek Morgan #David Rossi #Emily Prentiss #Penelope Garcia #Spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x y/n

[onelittlebookgeek]

Book Challenge 2020 (100 books!!) (I did it!!)

After forgetting to track my reading for three years, I started recording my reading on Tumblr last year again, and I’m committed to continuing that this year!

This year is my final year of my Bachelor’s Degrees (I’m finishing English in June) and I’m planning to do a gap year from September on, so now more university after June (at least as far as 2020 is concerned).

I do not really foresee any issues or obstacles to reading this year, except of course finishing my thesis which will probably take quite some time, so I do expect a decline around April until early June. Although I do have a lot more time off in my gap year, I used to read a lot of mandatory books for my studies, so I don’t know whether having a gap year will mean reading more books. Since I’m not doing any university studying, I am interested in reading academic books by myself, studying by myself. Those books are often longer, denser and just take more time to get through; consequently, I might read fewer books in the same amount of energy and time spent reading.

To make a (somewhat) long story short: my expectations are in line with the amount of books I’ve read in the last years, so I’m expecting to read 75 books this year!

Update: it’s mid-October and I’ve already read 99 books this year, so I’ve finished my original goal of 75 books! Now I’m going for 100 books (which should be easy to do, and after that we’ll just see how it goes!).

The crossed book is the one I’m currently reading, I’ve written reviews for books that have a (x) behind them, with the (x) being a link to my Goodreads review!

Update: Today (November 23) I’ve read 114 books so I’ve finished my challenge of 100 books! Right now, I’m still 25 books ahead schedule! Let’s see if I can keep that energy up!

January

The Fire Next Time - James Baldwin (5/5) (x)

Serpent and Dove (Serpent and Dove #1) - Shelby Mahurin (4/5) (x)

Lethal White (Cormoran Strike #4) - Robert Galbraith (4/5)

Weirdos from Another Planet (Calvin and Hobbes #4) - Bill Watterson) (5/5)

Selected Poems - E.E. Cummings (5/5) (x)

Niets zal ons redden maar een beetje liefde is oké - Henk van Straten (Dutch) (4/5) (x)

, said the shotgun to the head. - Saul Williams (4/5)

Loud and Yellow Laughter - Sindiswa Busuku-Mathese (3/5)

Fireborn (The Aurelian Cycle #1) - Rosaria Munda (4/5)

Sylvia Plath Poems Chosen by Carol Ann Duffy - Sylvia Plath (4/5) (x)

The Comedy of Errors - William Shakespeare (3/5) (x)

Nieuwe Herinneringen - Remco Campert (Dutch) (2/5)

Dido, Queen of Carthage - Christopher Marlowe (3/5)

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid (4/5)

Alles wat er was - Stine Jensen (Dutch) (3/5)

Zij in de geschiedenis - Alies Pegtel (Dutch) (4/5) (x)

Good Omens - Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett (reread) (5/5)

February

Prometheus Bound - Aeschylus (3/5)

The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus #1) - Rick Riordan (reread) (4/5)

The Son of Neptune (The Heroes of Olympus #2) - Rick Riordan (reread) (4/5)

So You Want to Talk About Race - Ijeoma Oluo (4/5)

The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus #3) - Rick Riordan (reread) (4/5)

Educated - Tara Westover (3/5)

Prometheus on Caucasus - Lucian of Samosata (3/5)

March

Reading Old English: A Primer and First Reader - Robert Hasenfratz (4/5) (x)

Still Foolin’ ‘Em: Where I’ve Been, Where I’m Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys? - Billy Crystal (3/5)

The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus #4) - Rick Riordan (reread) (4/5)

Quick Question: New Poems - John Ashberry (1/5) (x)

Exploring the Language of Poems, Plays and Prose - Michael H. Short (3/5) (x)

The Call of the Wild - Jack London (2/5) (x)

The Blood of Olympus (The Heroes of Olympus #5) - Rick Riordan (reread) (4/5)

April

The Waste Land - T.S. Eliot (reread) (5/5)

And Still I Rise - Maya Angelou (4/5)

Poëzie in Utrechtse Muren - Ingmar Heytze (Dutch) (5/5) (x)

To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf (4/5)

Mijn dood en ik - Remco Campert (4/5)

Ecology of Fear: Los Angeles and the Imagination of Disaster - Mike Davis (3/5)

Native Son - Richard Wright (2/5)

Dido, Queen of Carthage - Christopher Marlowe (reread) (4/5)

May

The Plague - Albert Camus (4/5)

Absalom! Absalom! - William Faulkner (4/5)

Modernism’s Mythic Pose: Gender, Genre, Solo Performance - Carrie J. Preston (2/5)

James Joyce and Sexuality - Richard Brown (3/5)

June

Daisy Jones & the Six - Taylor Jenkins Reid (4/5) (x)

Modernism, Sex and Gender - Alison Pease and Celia Marshik (3/5)

The Burial at Thebes: Sophocles’ Antigone - Seamus Heaney (4/5)

The Host - Stephanie Meyer (reread) (4/5)

The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games #1) - Suzanne Collins (reread) (4/5)

Catching Fire (The Hunger Games #2) - Suzanne Collins (reread) (4/5) (x)

A Terrible Beauty is Born - W.B. Yeats (4/5)

Mockingjay (The Hunger Games #3) - Suzanne Collins (reread) (4/5)

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism - Robin DiAngelo (4/5)

Are Prisons Obsolete? - Angela Y. Davis (4/5)

The Final Empire (Mistborn #1) - Brandon Sanderson (4/5)

Everything Leads to You - Nina LaCour (2/5) (x)

The Tempest - William Shakespeare (reread) (3/5)

July

Hag-Seed - Margaret Atwood (4/5) (x)

American Slavery (A Very Short Introduction) - Andrea Heather William (reread) (3/5)

Angels & Demons (Robert Langdom #1) - Dan Brown (4/5) (x)

Mythos: A Retelling of Myths of Ancient Greece - Stephen Fry (4/5) (x)

Mean Time - Carol Ann Duffy (3/5)

Lijfrente - Vrouwkje Tuinman (Dutch) (4/5)

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (The Hunger Games #0) - Suzanne Collins (3/5) (x)

Sonnets from the Portuguese - Elizabeth Barrett Browning (3/5)

A Room of One’s Own - Virginia Woolf (reread) (5/5)

The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold (4/5)

Onbreekbaar - Hans Hagen (Dutch) (1/5) (x)

The Penelopiad - Margaret Atwoord (reread) (4/5)

The Importance of Being Ernest - Oscar Wilde (5/5)

Het goede leven: een briefwisseling - Piet Gerbrandy & Andreas Kinneging (Dutch) (2/5) (x)

Constructions of the Classical Body - James Porter (3/5)

August

The Complete Poems - Anne Sexton (4/5)

The Kissing Booth (The Kissing Booth #1) - Beth Reekles (2/5) (x)

The Daily Show: The Book - Chris Smith (4/5) (x)

The Duchess Deal (Girl meets Duke #1) - Tessa Dare (3/5)

Between the World and Me - Ta-Nehesi Coates (4/5)

Fragments - Heraclitus (transl. by Brooks Haxton) (2/5) (x)

Animal Farm - George Orwell (reread) (5/5)

The Hidden Oracle (The Trials of Apollo #1) - Rick Riordan (reread) (4/5)

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue (Montague Siblings #1) - Mackenzi Lee (reread) (4/5)

Kitchen - Banana Yoshimoto (4/5)

Catilina’s Riddle (Roma sub Rosa #3) - Steven Saylor (2/5) (x)

When Dimple met Rishi (Dimple and Rishi #1) - Sandhya Memon (1/5) (x)

Adulthood is a Myth (Sarah’s Scribbles #1) - Sarah Andersen (4/5)

September

Normal People - Sally Rooney (3/5) (x)

Not All Dead White Men: Classics and Misogyny in the Digital Age - Donna Zuckerberg (4/5)

Sadie: A Novel - Courtney Summers (4/5)

The Myth of Sisyphus - Albert Camus (4/5)

Vloedlijnen - Piet Gerbrandy (Dutch) (4/5)

Red, White and Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston (reread) (4/5)

This is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor - Adam Kay (4/5)

Envelope Poems - Emily Dickinson (4/5) (x)

A Murder on the Orient Express (Hercule Poirot #10) - Agatha Christie (3/5) (x)

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man - James Joyce (4/5)

October

Titus Andronicus - William Shakespeare (4/5) (x)

The Mysterious Affair at Styles (Hercule Poirot #1) - Agatha Christie (4/5) (x)

Het verhaal van Aeneas - Vergilius (trans. to Dutch) (reread) (4/5)

If Beale Street Could Talk - James Baldwin (2/5)

Lesbia, Verzen van Liefde en Spot - Catullus (Dutch) (transl. by Paul Claes) (4/5) (x)

The Nightingale - Kristin Hannah (4/5) (x)

The Cat Inside - William S. Burroughs (reread) (5/5)

The Murder on the Links (Hercule Poirot #2) - Agatha Christie (3/5)

November

Such a Fun Age - Kiley Reid (3/5) (x)

Narratology and Classics: a Practical Guide - Irene de Jong (3/5) (x)

The Murder of Roger Akroyd (Hercule Poirot #4) - Agatha Christie (4/5) (x)

The ABC Murders (Hercule Poirot #11) - Agatha Christie (4/5)

The Great Cat (Poetry Collection) - ed. by Emily Fragos (3/5) (x)

Weapons of Math Destruction - Cathy O’Neil (4/5)

The Northern Lights (His Dark Materials #1) - Philip Pullman (4/5)

Vincent van Gogh en zijn brieven - Leo Jansen (Dutch) (3/5)

My Dark Vanessa - Kate Elizabeth Russell (4/5)

The Fill-In Boyfriend - Kasie West (reread) (4/5)

Poirot Investigates (Hercule Poirot #3) - Agatha Christie (1/5)

My 2019 challenge

My 2016 challenge

My 2015 challenge

My 2014 challenge

My 2013 challenge

#2020 book challenge #onelittlebookgeek #2020 #goodreads #goodreads challenge #book challenge

[icameheretowinry]

5 Shows and Some Questions

Rules: Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. Don’t cheat. Tag 10 (or however many) people.

I was tagged by @jessthebooklover on my main, but I’ll answer here instead. Thanks for thinking of me! 

I also tried to mix up anime with other shows I like. It’s gonna get weird, kids.

1. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood 2. M*A*S*H 3. Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4. Over the Garden Wall 5. Castlevania

Who is your favorite character in 2? Hawkeye Pierce. He’s the main character, a sarcastic wise-cracking army doctor with a massive drinking problem and a heart of pure gold. I’ve been in love with him since I was 6.

Who is your least favorite character in 1? Probably Father. He’s a really boring villain in my opinion. Average at best. 

What is your favorite episode of 4? The Unknown. The final episode, yeah, but seeing everything come together was just *chef’s kiss*.

What is your favorite season of 5? Season 2! It got really weird in the second to last episode but I binged the entire thing in one night so that’s saying something.

Who is your favorite couple in 3? There isn’t one. But Hastings and Poirot are the brotp. 

Who is your favorite couple in 2? Again, don’t really have one. BJ and Hawkeye are the brotp though. 

What is your favorite episode of 1? I can’t remember the episode number, but the recap episode with Hohenheim. I haven’t rewatched fmab in awhile, but I will stream that episode on occasion. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know. 

What is your favorite episode of 5? Last episode of season 2. It melted my brain. 

What is your favorite season of 2? You can’t make me pick. I love all 11. 

How long have you watched 1? First watched it in late 2016.

How did you become interested in 3? My bestie @hagane-no-heart rec’d it to me! We watch it together. 

Who is your favorite actor in 4? Elijah Wood as Wirt. It’s PERFECT. 

Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5? 1 and 2. Both have too much sentimental value in my heart to pick between them. MASH I watched with my grandparents who passed away when I was young, and fmab has such an amazing community of fans here where I’ve made some amazing friends. I declare no contest. 

Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3 1. I’ve seen all of fmab and maybe 8 episodes of 3. (To be fair they’re literally movie length.)

If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be? I am basically Wirt irl so I guess? 

Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? Not at all lmaoooo

Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? Roy and Olivier. It’s the dramione of fmab. 

Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5? 5 is less linear in its writing, but each episode usually has great storylines. 3 (Castlevania) has a WACK storyline, but the characters, religious references, and philosophy hold it together for me. I guess 3 then??

Which has better theme music, 2 or 4? Probably 4, but 2′s intro is freaking iconic. 

Tagging: @hagane-no-heart, @criis55, @edxwin-elric, @kittykatz009, @bornadreamer if y’all interested!

#got tagged #nikki speaks

[sherryaptx4869]

Put a Ring on It

A gift for @jackel-gull happy holidays! 😊

Prompt: Coffee shop AU

(Also on ao3)

---

“Excuse me Ma’am, a muffin from that handsome gentleman over there,” the female staff interrupted Shiho as she is very busy typing at her laptop.

She looked over to the direction the staff is pointing to. She is in a rush because her laboratory report is due in just a few minutes. She needs to proofread everything before passing her output to her very strict professor, thus every minute counts. She’s a bit irritated that her momentum is ruined by the ‘gentleman’ the staff is pertaining to.

When she turned to look, the man waved at her. She merely nodded and proceeded to hunch over her laptop. She likes to do her academic papers at Poirot Café because 1) she gets the space she needs, 2) they really have delicious bread and pastries plus their drinks are top-tier, 3) they also have strong wifi connection. 4) It’s also a ten-minute walk from the university she is attending. Very convenient.

Five minutes before the deadline, she breathed a sigh of relief when she hit the send button with her report as an attachment to an email she sent to her professor. She massaged her temples and briefly closed her eyes keeping the impending headache at bay. She only has fifteen minutes before her next class starts. She allowed herself to relax for a bit when she sensed another presence at the table she is currently occupying.

She smelled him before she saw him. She smelled a faint, subtle smell that is not overpowering. Her trained observation skills as a scientist approves of his choice of perfume.

She opened her eyes, removed her earphones and eyed him. Up close, the guy looked just about her age- probably in his 4th year of college too. She noticed his lean body, and his calves are well-defined. She noticed a tan line in his arm when he waved earlier. He’s probably into sports.

She raised her eyebrow and regarded the stranger.

“Hi, I’m Kudo Shinichi and you are?” he said, flashing her a smile as he held out his hand for a handshake.

“And I was just leaving,” she said as she gathered her laptop, her papers and her books, stacked them all in her backpack and leaving not even sparing a backward glance.

---

“Wow, that girl is something.” Heiji teased Shinichi for the nth time.

“I wish I was there to see it when your ego was deflated and brought you back to earth,” Heiji continued. “I mean man, she rejected Kudo Shinichi, the great detective of the East!” Heiji is now clutching his stomach from laughing too hard, tears at the corner of his eyes.

Shinichi glared at him but that did not stop Heiji from laughing.

“Should I wait for you to finish laughing or are we doing detective work on her?” he asked Heiji.

“Huh, what work?” That caught Heiji’s attention.

“Returning this to its rightful owner,” Shinichi said as he fished a card from his pocket.

So Miyano Shiho is the name of the beautiful, auburn-haired woman.

---

In her rush to gather her things earlier, Shiho did not notice her library card slipped and fell to the floor of the café. Now, she stood at the heavenly doors of the library but not quite entering because her library card is missing. She meant to return the books and browse for other titles. Without her card, she couldn’t really enter, but what’s more important is that she can’t loan out books.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. Upon checking, she saw she got an email from an unlisted account.

“Hello Miyano-san, I got your email address from the library card you dropped at Poirot Café earlier today. If you want, I can go to your university and return it there. – Kudo Shinichi, Detective of the East”, she noticed he’s studying at another top university in Japan from his email address. So he is the famous detective of the east.

“If it’s not too much to ask, I can meet you back at Poirot Café in thirty minutes. I just need to finish some stuff here and I’ll go over there,” she replied.

“Okay, I’ll see you then,” is his instant reply.

---

Shiho debated on meeting the stranger. Even if he is Kudo Shinchi, strangers are not to be trusted. And he’s definitely a stranger.

Dang it, her loaned books would have to be returned three days from now and if she doesn’t return them on time, she will accumulate penalties for her overdue books. She won’t be able to borrow more books on top of that.

She really has to meet with the stranger if she wanted her library card back. It will take a week for the library to process lost ID cards. And she needed hers asap.

She made up her mind, she’s meeting him and get it over with.

---

It’s 6:30pm. Upon her entrance at the Poirot Café for the second time that day, she immediately looked around and searched for some dark brown-haired guy. There were a few college students openly ogling the very handsome barista, Amuro-san. She spotted Shinichi at the back of the café. She approached him.

“Kudo-kun,” she tentatively called out to get his attention.

“Oh hi, Miyano-san.” He said as he got up to his feet and pulled the chair for her to sit.

“Thank you.”, she said.

“About earlier, I’m sorry if I came on as an arrogant guy. I was just being friendly with people who have the same interests as I do.” he offered an explanation.

She gave her a questioning look.

“Well, I saw you carrying Arthur Conan Doyle’s book and I got a bit excited to see a fellow Sherlockian fan,” he continued.

“I see. I was in a hurry myself earlier and I just don’t like dealing with strangers especially when I’m in a hurry. I didn’t want to be late for class,” she said without more ado.

“I also enjoy reading mystery novels, it’s just that I need my library card to borrow books from the lib.” She offered.

He handed her lib card and as his fingers skimmed over her hands, she felt a zap from the point of contact. Apparently, he felt it too.

To ease the sudden awkwardness of the situation, he said “Why don’t we start over? I’m Kudo Shinichi”

“I’m Miyano Shiho,” she said and shook hands with him.

“Shiho,” he repeated testing the roll of her name on his tongue.

The sparks from their hands touching is undeniably there. They quickly let go of each other’s hands and pretended to go over the menu. Shiho felt the blood rushing to her cheeks and she felt warm. Shinichi on the other hand felt his face flush. This beautiful woman elicited such a boyish response from him is something he could not rationalize.

They found out more about each other as the night deepens. From the café, they went to take a walk at the park. When it is apparent that they need to get some rest, Kudo offered to walk her home in her dorm.

The night has a certain chill to it, “It’s really nice talking to you Kudo-kun”, Shiho said as she’s getting ready to enter the building.

“We should do this again sometime, if it’s not too much to ask, Shiho” Shinichi replied.

“It’s too much given my schedule, but I’d like that,” Shiho said. She smiled before darting inside.

As Shinichi walked back to his own dorm, he mused over the evening. He got a big smile on his face even when Heiji kept one pestering him to share what happened with Shiho.

---

They fell in the same routine, meeting at the café, going on a trip together and having conversations about deep things, shallow things, whatever comes their way. They went out for a year. By then, Shiho graduated and is already working as a university researcher and Shinichi is on his first year of taking criminal law while still extending assistance to the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department.

On Christmas day, they are at their favourite café where they first encountered each other.

“Do you remember the first time you rejected me here?” Shinichi asked Shiho.

“I may have remembered a little bit of that,” Shiho smirked.

“Heiji kept on rubbing it in my face how pitiful I looked back then,” Shinichi relayed.

“You need that to keep you grounded before your inflated ego take you away,” Shiho said before drinking her coffee.

“Heiji said that too. You’re in cahoots with that guy?” Shinichi pouted.

Shiho merely laughed. Her laugh is music to his ears. Not to be cliché but it just is. He never thought that this wonderful woman is willing to spend time with him. He hoped she still feels the same way for the rest of their lives.

Before his thoughts strayed any further, he gave her his Christmas present and planted a kiss on her mouth. It’s a bath bomb designed for aromatherapy. Her job at the research laboratory seemed to take a toll on her lately, she also catches colds easily.

Back at her apartment, she decided to use the bath bomb Shinichi gave her. She took a book by Agatha Christie to read while she soaked in the tub with the bath bomb still fizzing. She is basking at the sweet, floral scent from the lavender essential oil when her curiosity is piqued by a floating material. There were no fun additives for aesthetics such as glitter and flower petals in Shinichi’s present so why is there a floating thing at the tub? She grabbed the thing and a smile made its way on her face. Hmmn, she might play a little prank on Kudo-kun tomorrow when they see each other.

---

The following day when they met each other to eat lunch at the Kudo residence,

“How was your sleep?” Shinichi inquired when they were settled on his car on the way to the Kudo mansion.

“It’s good. Thanks for the special oils in the bath bomb, they really cleared my thoughts.” She purposefully avoided mentioning the ring embedded in the bath bomb.

“Did you find anything to your liking?” Shinichi pressed on.

‘He’s not his usual blunt, confident self,’ Shiho noted. ‘He’s skirting around the ring topic.’

“Well, I liked the lavender scent. I’d like to try the one with eucalyptus too, it clears the sinus,” she still did not give the answer he clearly wanted to hear.

He merely nodded. After that, he stopped speaking. Shiho made it look like she busied herself on her phone.

He’s clearly upset that Shiho did not find his surprise. It’s written all over his face, from his grip to the steering wheel.

They stopped by at a flower shop to buy flowers for Yukiko, Shinichi’s mom. While they are waiting for the store clerk to wrap the flowers,

“Shin, your phone pinged several times already,” Shiho informed Shinichi.

He checked and is a bit taken aback when his notification box is about to explode from congratulatory messages and best wishes. He clicked to see that Shiho tagged him in a post. His jaw nearly touched the floor when he turned to look at a smirking Shiho who put up her ten fingers on the air flexing his claim on her.

In her post where Shinichi is tagged, she uploaded a picture of her left hand wearing the exquisite ring with the caption, “Does this ring make me look engaged?”

Shinichi captured her in an embrace and kissed her hand.

“Yes, you look engaged and you look amazing with the ring too, future Mrs. Kudo” he whispered in her ear before fully capturing her lips with a kiss that is the promise of a lifetime together.

#coaiss2019 #coai #secret santa #@coai #shinshi #kudo shinichi #miyano shiho #coffee shop au #@jackel-gull

[prydon]

Prydon’s Paul McGann Filmography Master Post

In honor of it being Paul McGann’s birthday, I thought I’d post something special for you guys! This is my masterlist of every role Paul has played that I’ve been able to find an upload of/been able to upload online myself, which I’ve been cultivating over the past year.

I know there is another master post of his filmography floating around, but it hasn’t been updated in years and many of the links are broken, and I was able to find/upload many roles that aren’t on there so I thought I might as well make my own post. All kudos and respect to the lovely people who made the previous masterpost, however, and I did use it to find several of the links on here!

Note: Many of these are hosted on the website vk.com! You do have to make an account to watch videos on this site, but I promise it is completely safe.

--

A Little Place Off the Edgware Road

A Mother's Son (Episode 1, Episode 2)

Absence

Afraid of the Dark 

Agatha Christie's Marple 

Agatha Christie's Poirot

Alien³ (McGann cut)

Always Crashing in the Same Car

Anne (Paul’s scenes)

Annika (Episodes three, four, five, six)

Art Is... (part one, part two in low quality) (High quality full movie but with German subtitles for some reason)

B&B

Blood Strangers

Brakes

Catherine the Great 

Collision (McGann cut)

Dealers 

Doctor Who (TV Movie)

Downtime

Empire of the Sun (Paul’s scene)

Fables of Forgotten Things

Fish (Episode one, two, three, four, five, six)

FairyTale: A True Story

Forgotten  (Episode one, two, three)

Give us a Break

Gypo

Holby City (McGann cut)

Horatio Hornblower (Alt, higher quality)

Hotel!

If I Had You 

Innocent Victim

Jackanory (clip)

Jonathan Creek

Kidnapped (McGann cut)

Lesbian Vampire Killers

Lie with Me (Alt)

Listening

Luther (Paul’s episodes)

Mother Me Daughter (Part 1) (Part 2)

Moving On 

My Kingdom (McGann cut)

McDonald & Dodds 

Nature Boy

New Tricks (Thanks, @susiedent!)

Nice Town

Night of the Doctor

Notes from the Underground

Our Mutual Friend (Alt: episode one, two, three, four)

Paper Mask

Play For Today

Perplexed Music

Poppies

Queen of the Damned

Rime of the Ancient Mariner

Ripper Street

Screen Two

Save Our Souls: The Titanic Inquiry

Sea of Souls: Rebound

Streets of Yesterday (Thanks, @infineight!)

Swallow Your Dreams (BTS)

Sweet Revenge  (Episode 1) (Episode 2)

The Biographer (Thanks @savageinkspillage!)

The Bletchley Circle (Thanks @susiedent!)

The Dance of Shiva

The Five(ish) Doctors Reboot

The Hanging Gale  (Ep 1 / Ep 2 / Ep 3 / Ep 4)

The Importance of Being Earnest

The Merchant of Venice

The Minister of Chance

The Monk (Part one, part two)

The Monocled Mutineer

The Musketeers (Thanks @susiedent!) (the video doesn’t stream correctly but the download should work)

The One That Got Away

The Petrol Age

The Rainbow

The Three Musketeers

The Windmill

Tripping Over (Episode one, two, three, four, five, six)

True Dare Kiss (Thanks, @virginia-perdue!)

Voice from Afar

Waking the Dead (Episode one, episode two)

Withnail & I

BONUS (interviews/documentaries etc):

Myth Makers interview

Victorian Sensations

Cavern Club

Hidden Paintings of the North West

Living the Life interview (part one, part two)

Doctor Who Movie Workprint

If you have better quality links to any of these/links to any roles that are missing, please let me know, I’d love to add them! Also let me know if any of these links ever break!

Enjoy!

#paul mcgann #long post #paul mcgann filmography #lotta time and effort on my part and the part of some friends went into finding and/or uploading all these #so i hope some good use is made out of it!! #this is only pt1 of my present for paul fandom on his bday btw #pt2 is coming soon #(unless you follow me on twitter in which case you've already seen pt2)

[poirott]

hey there any idea where to watch all of the murder on the orient express deleted scenes? :)

Hey there, anon! Thank you for your ask. There are 11 deleted scenes on the Murder on the Orient Express (2017) dvd. Some have been uploaded online via media outlets and some by fans. I’m including links to the uploads, and my own screencaps of the rest of the scenes:

- Hotel Check-in - Poirot arrives at the Tokatlian hotel in Istanbul. He’s telegrammed specific orders about his room reservation (10 bath towels, 10 bottles of mineral water, etc). The scene introduces his OCD. I did a gif set of it.

- Poirot Bedtime Rituals - We see Poirot’s slimming exercises routine and moustache grooming. He’s wearing a corset. Here’s a gif set. The only look we have at Poirot’s famous moustache kit. Ken Branagh talks about the kit here.

- Pierre Michel (the conductor) interview - The only suspect interrogation scene they cut. It’s a shame because Marwan Kenzari’s performance is touching, and the location they went with for the interview is visually interesting.

- Departure - A great shot of the Orient Express leaving the station. We see all the characters inside the traincars as they speed past the camera. Poirot is at the very end in the last car, looking pleased. This isn’t a CGI scene, it was shot in camera.

- The following tweet from a fan has a video of three deleted scenes:

1) The Mr Ratchett/Poirot sequence from the Arasta Bazaar/Alternate Opening scene, an alternate - and much longer - intro scene of several characters before they get to board the train. The widowed Mrs Hubbard is chatting up a bunch of local children, Pilar Estravados the missionary is talking to a jewelry seller, Miss Debenham is taking pictures on her camera and spots the Count and Countess Andrenyi.

In the movie we only see Ratchett and the Count and Countess Andrenyi at the cafe, but no Poirot, who got cut out. In the full deleted scene he’s got a bigger role, he sees the Count fighting the paps and is about to intervene (rising from his chair), when the Countess arrives and the fighting stops. Poirot sits down again. He’s eating a lot of food, and getting excited over famous desert, and like the clip in the tweet shows, Mr Ratchett is also ordering him a bottle of champaigne, but Poirot asks for a cup of hot chocolate instead, and toasts Mr Ratchett in thanks. Chefs making the chocolate for Poirot and closeups of Godiva chocolate do not appear in either the deleted scene or the theatrical cut. I giffed the Godiva sequence here. 

2) Dreamscape - The full “Poirot vision”-like scene in b&w in which we get inside Poirot’s mind. It’s a sort of re-cap of the different clues Poirot’s gathered so far. He’s looking at all the suspects one by one, and there’s a cool group shot of them facing him. More on this scene below.

3) bits of the Poirot Bedtime Rituals scene I’ve already mentioned.

That’s all the scenes I’ve managed to find online, there might be more out there, the studio took down several clips. The ones left from the dvd are:

- Alternate Opening - B&w scene of Colonel Armstrong alone in a gloomy, darkened living room. He’s watching a projector clip of himself, his wife and daughter at play when they were all happy and carefree. Little Daisy is playing with her teddybear and dolly.

- Newsreel (Extended) - B&w reel of news footage and newspaper clippings about the Armstrong kidnapping case, “the story that shocked the world”. It serves as background info for the audience. Shots of the crime scene, the funeral, mother screaming on the floor, Daisy’s teddybear guarding a fresh grave.

- Breakfast - The extra footage that was cut from the Wailing Wall scene. After Poirot exposes the Chief Inspector, the Inspector wants to attack him from behind but Poirot intercepts with his cane without looking back. He doesn’t see the breakfast boy with the eggs who’s followed him to the Wall, and he swings his cane, hitting theeggs by accident. The tops of the eggs the boy is holding out to him, are cut off. Next shot is of Poirot finally eating breakfast, he’s seated by the Wall, with the boy and a waiter standing beside him.

- Train Montage - A short clip of Orient Express staff/waiters setting the tables, bringing in crates of food, arranging champaigne bottles, etc. Just a few extra shots that didn’t make it into the film.

- Luggage - Bouc and Michel the conductor going through some of the passengers’ luggage. Mostly closeups of the contents of their suitcases, with quick shots of Estravados the missionary, Schmidt the maid, Marquez the salesman and Hardmanthe professor, and one extra line from Estravados.

There are about 30 mins of other deleted footage that never landed on the dvd, including two major action scenes - Poirot chasing MacQueen the assistant out in the blizzard, shooting at MacQueen in warning, then saving him from drowning when the man falls into a river, and Poirot defending himself from Dr Arbuthnot, almost falling off the train and using his wits to get back inside.

Changes from the original script to the theatrical cut: The original denouement scene happened in the dining car like in the book (and the 1974 movie), not outside, though I’m not sure if they ever filmed the first version. There are some huge differences between the original script and the film. A lot of the clue-explaining, some of the exposition, character-establishing and other character moments, extra lines from interrogation scenes, chunks of dialog, etc, were cut. Settings and certain lines of dialogue were changed. More canon quotes were added into the movie, such as Poirot’s famous “My name is Hercule Poirot and I’m probably the greatest detective in the world” line from The Mystery of the Blue Train. Miss Debeham and Dr Arbuthnot kissed twice in the original script! No kisses in the movie. Pilar Estravados was Greta Ohlsson, like in the book (Estravados’ name comes from Hercule Poirot’s Christmas).  Poirot remembers his canon “love interest“ Vera Rossakoff. She only gets a mention but is kind of instrumental to him solving the case. Vera was changed into “Katherine” in the movie, a new character, someone from Poirot’s past. Was it because Vera might appear in future movies?

Most of the characters get a bit more screentime in the original script. Poirot has a HUGE, HUGE “getting-inside-the-detective’s-head” scene where he sees all the suspects frozen like ice, or like in a photograph, and he can walk through the photograph and observe each suspect, each frozen facial expression, and analyze what everyone told him in interviews. He’s looking at all the clues again in his mind, brushing away those that aren’t relevant. For the audience, this would have been a bigger and more helpful re-cap of the mystery compared to “Dreamscape” above. It would have been an amazing showstopper scene.

I wish they could have kept some of these scenes as one of the biggest criticisms about the movie was that the audience couldn’t really follow the clues and play “detective”, Poirot did all the explaining himself - and quickly - and didn’t give them enough of a chance to solve the mystery on their own. The screenwriter originally had POIROT ANALYZE ALL THE CLUES in great detail. All the clues from the book are present. Poirot’s all about the clues and observation. He brainstorms which suspect could be guilty, which pairs of suspects could have killed Ratchett together. He considers them all in his mind, all the variations and possibilities, and the audience can see his thoughts. He’s moving from one suspect to the next, in a “refresh my memory” sort of scene for the viewers.

He’s not “omnipotent” nor “guessing” like some critics have complained. He tells you how he came by the conclusions. He does it in the movie but originally he talked a lot, lot more, and the scenes were trimmed for time constraints. Some of the details regarding the clues were the first to go. I love the movie dearly and always will but there’s an even greater potential in the original script, I think. Hopefully we see more deleted footage on future dvd sets. :)

Thanks again for your ask! If anyone would like me to gif any of the deleted scenes, please let me know! :)

#Anonymous #replies #murder on the orient express #agatha christie #hercule poirot #poirot

[thewomaninlilywhite]

@thecircusofyourmind see, I actually answered all these in a googledoc the day you sent me the ask, I’m just The Worst and never posted it...

Disclaimer: I left out some questions I’m not comfortable answering (usually because thinking about the answer made me too anxious)

Also, Christine is my therapist… her name comes up a few times in these answers

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

I am 5’ but I wish I was shorter because, growing up, I was always the shortest so now it’s weird and makes me feel uncomfortable when I’m not...if that makes sense. Like, it feels like part of my identity is gone? (Christine lowkey roasts me for this one)

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

I’m such a cat person. I love cats. I’d want a either a pure white persian or a bombay or a maine coon.

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

I love the fashion of the 1930s-1950s

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

I played way more mario kart than my skills (or lack thereof) would suggest. Also, professor Layton (still do!)

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

Warning: Very sensitive and overemotional: handle with care. Is prone to bursting out into showtunes she thinks she can sing, but can’t.

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

I’m a melancholic mercury (I do shakespeare so I always think in terms of temperaments and planets, especially because I have too much sanguine tendency to identify as purely melancholic, but it is definitely my dominant temperament)

9: Are you ticklish?

Absolutely

10: Are you allergic to anything?

I’m lactose-intolerant, I try to cut back on gluten because of my Hashimotos, I also can’t eat peppers and usually avoid soy, but I’ve never actually been tested for allergies so like, who knows

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

Cat

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

An elf, I’m already small

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

I subscribe to so many different YouTubers for so many different reason, but if I had to pick one, I’d probably say Kathryn Morgan because her videos have helped me so much as a both a dancer and a person (especially with my diet and lifestyle because we have the same thyroid condition)

16: How tall are you?

5’

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

115lb. but I’m trying to lose weight (I want to be under 110, and trust me, I’ve got plenty to lose)

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

To an extent

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

The ocean, the infiniteness of space makes me too anxious, plus, I’ve always lived near the ocean.

21: Are you religious?

Yes

22: Pet peeves?

Slow walkers, people who don’t give you personal space in the queue, people who have no respect for the people around them in public places in general, the list is actually pretty long.

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

I basically am nocturnal – I literally can never concentrate on important things until after 8pm

24: Favorite constellation?

Scorpio because I can always see it when my family goes up to Maine over the summer so it makes me think of that

25: Favorite star?

So tacky, but I love Polaris; I feel like it’s so magical to think that long ago sailors would look up at the sky and based off this little guy, could figure out where they were. It makes me feel so warm and fuzzy for some reason.

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

I never had on eso I had to google this and they’re beautiful

27: Any phobias or fears?

I have anxiety (social phobia, arachnophobia, thanatophobia, claustrophobia, fear of abandonment, fear of the unknown, the list is long and my therapist doesn’t like me going this deep into it because then I get overwhelmed and trigger a panic attack – we’re working on my social anxiety first…)

28: Do you think global warming is real?

I think the earth goes through periods of cooling (ending in with the ice ages) and warming (which we are currently in) and therefore do not think that warming is CAUSED by humans, but I do think humans are speeding up the process

30: Favorite movie?

Mary Poppins, Rebecca, It’s a Wonderful Life, and Confessions of a Shopaholic are the only movies I’ve sat and watched all the way through on more than one occasion without being distracted so...

32: How many pets have you owned in your lifetime?

I had a cat named Lucky when I was younger, I currently have a cat named Lindsay, and, when I was younger, I had two goldfish who I named Dora and Boots (and Lucky ate them when the bowl got [mysteriously] knocked off the counter)

34: What is a color that calms you?

Lavender and Ballet Pink (gee, I wonder why)

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

New York is my home, I adore Paris, but I could see myself living in London

36: Where were you born?

Long Island

37: What is your eye color?

Hazel, though sometimes they appear blue when it’s raining

38: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

I don’t believe in them per se, but I do read my horoscope everyday because the one I use tends to have little motivational sayings in it and they help boost my mood

40: Hugs or kisses?

Depends on who they’re from

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

A lot of people...

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

Everyone...I love far too much

43: Any piercings you want?

I have two holes in my ears and I don’t desire any more than that

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

I don’t think they make a person MORE attractive, but I like how they allow people to express themselves, especially with the artistry involved with tattoos. You can learn a lot about a person based off what they put on/do to their bodies

45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so?

Absolutely not – I don’t like associating with people who do… it makes me very uncomfortable

47: What is a sound you really hate?

Loud noises

49: Can you do a backflip?

I wish

50: Can you do the splits?

Definitely

53: How are you feeling right now?

Lonely

55: When did you feel happiest?

When I am dancing

56: Something that calms you down?

Listening to music, reading, writing, dancing, sketching...

57: Have any mental disorders?

I’ve been formally diagnosed with multiple types of anxiety disorders (GAD, Social Anxiety, other phobias, OCD) but… let’s just say there are things I keep from may therapist that may imply I have others...

58: What does your URL mean?

It’s a reference to The Woman in White and The Secret Garden

59: What three words describe you the most?

Passionate, Loyal, Overwhelmed

60: Do you believe in evolution?

Simple answer: yes

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

If they post too much about politics (because I use social media to escape the real world, not to be reminded of it, plus a lot of things [especially on here] are not fact-checked so I don’t believe much of it anyway), if they start posting things that make me uncomfortable or strain my own mental health, if they’re rude to me or other bloggers

62: What makes you follow a blog?

I like them and/or their content

63: Favorite kind of person:

Trustworthy and open

64: Favorite animal(s):

Puffins, Penguins, Cats

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

I’ve taken multiple tests and it’s always either INTJ or INFJ, but their percentages are always close to 50/50 so it really depends on the situation

69: What is your star sign?

Libra

73: Do you have platform shoes?

I have platform heels?

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

I’m currently trying to read every Hercule Poirot novel (is that interesting? Idk I’m a pretty boring person)

75: Can you do a front flip?

Again, I wish.

76: Do you like birds?

Sure

77: Do you like to swim?

Yes

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

I rarely go ice skating. I used to love it when I did, but I haven’t gone since my knee surgery so I think I’ll be too anxious to enjoy it

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

Being creative

83: Favorite person to talk to:

I don’t like talking to people

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

I thought it’s what all the “cool popular girls” at school used, but I didn’t understand it and didn’t actually use my blog until months after I created it

85: How many followers do you have?

730

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

I have before, but I’m not sure if I still could.

87: Do your socks always match?

Yes

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

Yes

89: What are your birthstones?

Opal

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

A fox

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

A rose, sweet and elegant, yet prickly and cautious toward people trying to use me

92: A store you hate?

Urban Outfitters

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

I shouldn’t drink more than one cup of decaf a day, but sometimes I do… sorry Christine

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

Neither

95: Do you like to wear camo?

No

96: Winter or summer?

Winter

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

A minute, last time I timed myself

99: Someone you look up to:

Laura Michelle Kelly

100: A store you love?

H&M

101: Favorite type of shoes

Heels

102: Where do you live?

New York

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

No because I have a very sensitive stomach and would literally die of malnutrition if I didn’t eat meat because I can’t eat a lot of food that vegetarians/vegans use as supplements

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

I love amethysts and pearls and opals and diamonds

105: Do you drink milk?

I can’t

106: Do you like bugs?

No

107: Do you like spiders?

...I’m arachnophobic

108: Something you get paranoid about?

Everything, I have an anxiety disorder (actually multiple…)

109: Can you draw:

Kinda?

111: A question you hate being asked?

“Why do you keep to yourself all the time”

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

NO THANK YOU

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

Yes!

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

Cloudy, I get chronic migraines so the sun can be too much for me

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:

Joe, one of my absolute best friends (he gives the BEST hugs)

118: Do you have freckles?

Yes

119: Favorite thing about a person:

If they treat me kindly and gently and don’t make fun of how emotional I am

120: Fruits or vegetables?

Fruits

121: Something you want to do right now:

Sing

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

Ocean

123: Sweet or sour foods?

Sweet

124: Bright or dim lights?

Dim, but not too dim

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

How catty people are

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

The way little niches form

128: What do you think about the least?

Things that trigger my anxiety ?? How is this question supposed to be asked ??

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

No one, that’s rude

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

I don’t like anything about myself (Christine’s gonna come for me for this because she always tries to get me to answer these kinds of questions and I never can)

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

My teeth can’t physically show when I smile?

133: Computer or TV?

Computer

134: Do you like roller coasters?

Yes

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

No

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?

Lobed

137: Do you believe in karma?

Yes

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

Like a 0

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

Jillibean, chicklet, Jilli, Jill, I usually just go by Jillian though

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

Yes

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

Shout out to my girl Christine for putting up with my disaster of a life every friday morning at 9am!

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

I feel like I have no influence over others

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

I like giving help, but hate giving gifts because I feel like I’m so bad at it

144: What makes you angry

When people don’t listen to me, when people aren’t being fair (in a situation where fairness is due)

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

2 – English and French

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

I prefer people who are nice to me

147: Are you androgynous?

No

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

Wasn’t this already asked? Nothing

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

Nothing

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

Joe, Sammi, Lindsey

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

Victorian England

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

Yes

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

YES is this not something people do?? (sorry Joe)

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

Yes (seriously wishing Joe used tumblr so I could tag him in all these things)

156: What embarrasses you?

Everything, legit my entire existence is an embarrassment to everyone who associates with me

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

Everything, I have an (several) anxiety disorder(s)

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

“I’m fine”

159: How many people are you following?

139 – I did like a cleanse over the summer

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

84,034 and I actually just gasped at that number – why am I like this?

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

None

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

4,901

163: Last time you cried and why:

Watching “When Calls the Heart” earlier had me teary-eyed, but I was kinda at my Grandmother funeral a few days ago so???

164: Do you have long or short hair?

Long

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

I don’t know, I don’t measure it?

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

I like religion when it is practiced in a way that doesn’t harm other people. I don’t believe that anyone should be forced to follow a religion, but it can really provide safety and guidance to people when followed correctly.

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

Yes – it’s an artform to me, and I love experimenting with different looks!

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

Head, yes, hands, no and I really don’t know what I’m doing wrong because I know all like the techniques and stuff I’m supposed to be employing and they never work ???

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

yes

#let's chat #pointe me toward tomorrow

[christinaroseandrews]

Part 5

*Crawls out of her weekend writing binge* What do you mean I haven’t finished with this yet?  *Cries* 

This is the last actual post where I sum up the most egregious offenses Faleena Hopkins committed, and then there will be a masterpost linking to all of the posts related to this travesty of a book.

There are a lot of little things that went wrong. Things that would have dropped stars on their own, but nothing I haven’t seen a million times before. Things like bad proofreading, weak heroes and heroines, bad sex scenes, lack of research. Ultimately if those had been the only problems with this book, it would have been rated two or three stars. Mediocre and unmemorable.  Not throw the book across the room worthy. 

This book is.

I’m still angry at it.

And that’s a problem.

So what are the things that on their own make this a one star?

For starters: Sean.

“Wait!” I hear you say, “But you liked Sean. He was your favorite character.” And he was. I’m not about to deny that, but the problem with Sean is several-fold.

His story arc of coming out to his family wasn’t relevant and is part of what made this book Not A Romance.

His POV wasn’t needed and again is part of what made this book Not A Romance.

His being gay was not handled well and featured some very hurtful stereotypes.

Once he was out in the book, his entire character changed. And he became sex-obsessed and attention-whoring. Gone was the empathetic generous man. He became Jack... only Gay. And we all know my feelings about Jack.

I’ll cover points one and two later when I get to the part about how this book wasn’t a romance. 

I wish Sean had been openly gay from the start. Not because we needed another hurtful stereotype of the “Sassy Gay Friend” which BTW we totally got. But because it would have been better than what we did have.  Which to refresh your memory, is this:

So why is this so wrong? Because it contains the following harmful implications:

Queer people must be either completely celibate or...

Queer people must fuck everything that lives.

Never being in love at the ripe old age of 23 is a problem.

Being a virgin at that same age is a problem.

Celibacy is unnatural and wrong.

The first is a huge problem. Currently in the Mormon community, this is the official stance. LBGT+ people must either choose to live a heterosexual life or be completely celibate... no kissing, hugging, or touching of anyone of the same sex. This is leading to a huge rise in Mormon LBGT+ youth in Utah committing suicide because they feel that their families and community won’t love and accept them. There was a whole documentary about it recently on HBO called “Believer.”

The second is a problem because it reinforces the stereotype that all homosexuals are raging sex fiends and unable to be in long term relationships. Or form long term bonds.  It’s one of the excuses used by adoption agencies when denying same-sex couples. And worse, it’s why those in the LBGT+ community were blamed for contracting HIV/AIDS and it was seen as divine retribution for the disease, which can affect anyone.

The third is an issue, because it unreasonably puts pressure on young people to hurry up and find love. Love, real love, not infatuation, can happen at any time. That’s part of how love works. I have friends who didn’t find their first love until they were in their thirties or forties. While I know others who found their someone when they were children (a friend met their now spouse when they were in nursery school - they grew up as friends and eventually fell in love). People should be allowed to look for love at their own pace and when they are ready. Not by some arbitrary due date.

The fourth is a huge issue because of the implication that virginity, especially male virginity, is a problem. This thought is one of many that leads to toxic masculinity and the culture where men are predators and women victims. It leads to young men and boys shooting up their schools and workplaces because they were rejected by a woman and couldn’t deal with the repercussions. This thought, that male virginity is bad, is deadly. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. There is nothing wrong with waiting until you’re ready to have sex. You don’t owe any partner anything. You don’t owe society anything. Male virgins can be awesome lovers.  I know. I’ve had two myself.

Finally, there is nothing wrong with celibacy. No one owes you sex. If someone doesn’t want to have sex, then they don’t have to. There are even some people out there who find the whole concept of sex off-putting and there is nothing wrong with that. There are victims of abuse who find sex triggering.  Celibacy can be a choice. And if if people are “involuntarily celibate” there is always something called masturbation, and in some places prostitution is legal. No one owes you sex, even if you want it. Period.

It’s really that easy.

The second reason this book would get one star is what is essentially plot-whiplash coupled with an unsatisfying ending. The antagonist doesn’t get his comeuppance and doesn’t actually apologize for what he did. In fact, Jack gets off scot-free because of plot whiplash.

There’s an art to telling a good story. You need to have a good hook early. The longer the story, the more concurrent plots you need juggle. And you need to have a good sense of pacing. Draw things out too long, and your readers will lose interest. Wrap things up too quickly and you leave your audience reeling.  Faleena Hopkins manages to do both. 

She drags out plots that have no reason being strung along for as long as they are. Things like Rue’s parentage.  You told us this in the summary, why does it take you over 6 chapters to get to it in the book?  Or Sean’s sexuality - which really shouldn’t have been central to the overall plot of the book yet somehow took it over (when it’s the last line of the book, that means that is also the core plot, FYI endings matter).

But for the most part, Hopkins suffers from plot-whiplash. AKA moving from plot to plot so fast that your head goes back and forth like you’re at a tennis match.

Seriously, the whole novel takes place in less than a week. It took me going back and making a timeline to realize that no really the whole thing takes place that quickly.

The problem with doing things too quickly is that you don’t give the audience time to process what happened. Crucial details get left out. Continuity gets ignored. The whole thing feels rushed. It’s like the author is afraid that if they doesn’t resolve the subplot or conflict quickly they’ll lose readers.

But here’s the thing. Readers don’t want instant happy endings. They want the happy ending to be earned. And that is true in romance as it is in other genres. If, for instance, Poirot immediately solved the Murder on the Orient Express, the story wouldn’t be nearly as iconic. 

You’d feel cheated.

As Hitchcock said - "There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it."

The same is true in romance. Or any story. It’s the journey that’s important, not the destination. 

Which is why I got so angry when I reached the end. Jack hadn’t gotten a valid redemption arc and he’s still the same awful person that he was at the beginning of the novel. Sean actually got worse and his story ended up overshadowing what was ostensibly the more important of the plots (give him his own book, don’t shoehorn it into what is supposed to be a het romance). The Romance wasn’t really resolved in a positive manner.  And the answer to the overarching plot -- will success ruin Rue Calliwell? - was an overwhelming yes. It may be realistic.... but it’s not satisfying.

The third and biggest reason why this book is deserving of a one-star (I’d give no stars if possible) is because it isn’t a Romance, yet it bills itself as such. I know there’s a lot of problem with Authors miscategorizing their works in order to get that elusive “Bestseller” tag. But this isn’t that.  This is the author falling into the pitfall of “Trying to change romance” and ending up not being a romance at all.

Interestingly, Hopkins does miscategorize her book... but in a weird way.

Her book is not an inspirational romance. That category is reserved for “wholesome, faith-filled stories that enrich the lives of readers” - that definition is straight from Harlequin. That means no sex. No swearing. And lots of references to religion (it can be any religion but Christianity is most likely).  This is why there are a lot of reviews angry about the sex and the language.

So how did I come to the conclusion that this wasn’t a romance?

To make sure we’re all on the same page, here’s RWA’s definition of Romance.

1. The over-arching plot.

The plot of the story is pretty much spelled out in the summary. “How will fame and fortune change Rue Calliwell as well as how will she handle finding out about the family she never knew she had?”

The romance is secondary. It’s part of how she handles fame, fortune, and her family. Her brother puts his best friend up to seducing her (amusingly I wrote a fanfic with this EXACT plot 14 years ago). The brother is testing his new sibling. The fact that his BFF and sister fall in lust is a side-effect. Not the main plot.

In order for this to be a romance, the characters falling in love and making the relationship work has to be the main focus. And in this book, it just isn’t.

2. The Points of View.

The book is 52 chapters long. Jack, the antagonist brother, has 8 POV chapters. Sean, the sympathetic brother, has 7 POV chapters. Alec, the love interest, has 7 POV chapters. While the rest are in Rue’s POV.   What does that indicate?

Well, that the author considered the brothers equally or more important than the love interest. We don’t even meet Alec until page 60-something out of 300 pages. That’s waaaaaay too long for a romance novel.  The love interest needs to be introduced quickly. Not a fifth of the way through the book.

3. The “I Love You’s”

You know there’s something wrong with a romance novel when the heroine says “I love you” to all of the other main characters other than love interest. Rue says “I love you” to Jenna. To Sean. To Jack. But not to Alec. Nor does he say it to her. 

4. No actual relationship.

The story between Alec and Rue is a pure Lust and Erotica story. It’s a story of obsession. Of possession. The characters don’t talk. They don’t date. They just engage in tonsil hockey and longing looks.

And the way it’s written is about as sexy as that gif.

The thing is, there is a relationship story in this book. But it’s between Rue and her brothers. In fact, everything with Alec can be seen as supporting that story, not the other way around.

5. The ending.

Again the ending needs to be emotionally satisfying and optimistic. To her credit, she kind of gets the optimistic. Rue and Alec are going to try to make things work on a long term basis and he’s going to go public about liking her.

Sounds good, right?

Except that’s not the actual ending of the book. The ending of the book focuses on the siblings and nothing is resolved there. I was left going “is that it?”

I wasn’t satisfied. I wasn’t happy.

I was angry.

Each of those things would make this book ranked one star.  (So would the fact that stalking is portrayed as romantic, but I’ve gone into that before so I don’t need to go into it here.)

So it should come as no surprise that this book gets:

One star

You can read the hot mess for FREE here.

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#Romance review #contemporary romance #new adult romance #faleena hopkins #billionaire romance #musician romance #cockygate #this is so bad #like I want my life back bad #one star #I wish I could give it negative stars #it's that bad #Rose and Lark review books #book review