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plasticferal · 4 months

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hey queen! can you pls do an angst story with chris. where they get into an argument and chris said things he never meant. then he apologizes to her afterwards. ( basically angst to fluff)

damsel in distress | chris sturniolo.

i added my own twist to this ask. it's my favourite prompt so thank you! 18+ protective!ex-boyfriend chris x fem!reader. fighting, touches on themes of unwanted attention, mentions of alcohol, explicit language. reader discretion is advised. p.s inspired by the unreleased olivia rodrigo song 'prison for life'.

the house is filled with familiar faces and strangers. a small gathering turned into a full blown house party from the moment the word got out. where the sturniolo triplets are, a flock follows. you sigh, pushing and shoving your way through the unwanted crowd.

all you want is to make it into the kitchen, miraculously being the only place no one wants to linger. the last person you need to see right now is your ex lover. chris is standing ahead of you, leaning on the kitchen counter, alone in the room. you shut the doors behind you, needing to escape. even if it means with him.

“if you wanted to get me alone, you could have just asked." he speaks smug, before taking a sip from his red solo cup.

“i'm not in the mood,” you dismiss. you open the fridge, eyes scanning the shelves but nothing calling your name.

you know you're not actually looking for anything, you just don't want to look at him. the entire night has you shaking with anger. from the mess in your home, the lack of care everyone is taking, the noise complaint you know you'll be getting later, and worst of all, that one guy who won't leave you alone.

you've never seen him before tonight, you don't even know his name, but all he's done is make you uncomfortable. try to dance with you, try to give you drinks. he brushes your waist every time he walks past.

all of your friends have been encouraging you to go for it, to get over chris. and honestly, you consider it for a moment. just to finally move on, but you can't bring yourself to. at least not with some random creep.

the break up is still raw. he tells everyone it was 'mutual' but it was a part on your request. he'd never throw you under the bus like that. he knows why you made your decision, he's never questioned it.

chris feels like it's unrequited love. although, you haven't lost any love for him, no matter how much you try to push him away. he has every right to despise you, but he doesn't.

every time you close a chapter with him, you find yourself in a sequel. it's like you're re-reading different stories, but the ending stays the same. your heart wants him, your brain wants to hate him.

"what's wrong?" he asks, sensing you're genuine in your frustration.

"nothing." you refuse to let him know what's happing in your world, let alone your mind. you don't need to let in him anymore, even though you want to let it out. he's the one person who could just sit and listen to you for hours on end.

"alright, just askin" his words trail off into a hush. he switches the tone, not wanting the conversation to stop.

“your friends are nice” he speaks in a sickeningly sweet tone, because if anyone knows how to kick you while you're down, it's him.

"you would think that" you scoff, implying that you've seen them throw themselves at him all night. him pouring them drinks, smiling and frothing over the attention he's receiving.

"the fuck is that supposed to mean?" his temperamental side seeps out, and you grow only more irritated.

"chris, can you get out please?" you huff, hands crossing over your chest. an unintentional way to seperate yourself from him, a metaphorical wall being put up.

"such a party pooper. you really gotta let loose, relax a bit." his words come out a lot more nasty that you hope he meant them, and it makes your face hot.

you give him the benefit of the doubt and think he's speaking with resilience, at the fact you keep shutting him down.

"i wonder why we ever broke up." you reply sarcastically, a fake smile on your face. he rolls his eyes, finishing off his drink and letting out an audible "ah," like a child finishing a juice box.

"i haven't seen you all night, y/n" his voice softens, and it becomes clear he's speaking for the sake of talking to you. he always wants to talk to you.

looking at the counter quickly to place his cup down, he looks back at you, tilting his head to the side slightly. he's not being horrible to you, he never has been. he's still in your life whether you like it or not, despite your hostility.

"sorry. i'm just tired." you lie. he knows it.

"your poker face isn't very good. i learnt that the hard way," he bounces his eyebrows, biting the tip of his tongue, eyes a bit wider as he stares at the ground and you can tell he's having a flashback.

you chuckle at the reference. the one time he caught you faking an orgasm didn't end very well, and he's been able to catch you out ever since. he's never been afraid to pull you up on your own fibs.

"sorry, again." you hug your body tighter, avoiding his eyes. he pushes himself off the counter with a stretch like hum and walks over to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

"stop apologizing, you sound like matt," he rolls his eyes lightheartedly, and you let out a small laugh. that's always his intention, to make you smile.

"c'mon princess, let's get you a drink. seems like you need it." he nods toward to the door, rubbing your shoulder enthusiastically.

you let him try to fix your mood, because god knows you do actually need to stop stressing. you can't control what happens, just how you react. that's what chris always used to say when you were together.

feeling safe in his embrace, he security guard style moves you through the party. he hollers "excuse me!" and "coming through!" and everyone just listens, parting like the red sea. he's not the biggest guy in the room, but he sure is the most assertive. especially with you under his arm.

when you finally get to the drinks table, he makes you a vodka lemonade, saving the rest of the can for himself to finish off. it's not the most thrilling drink, but enough to keep you settled. ease the tension a bit. plus, it tastes good. no harm, no foul. as chris is mixing the liquids into cups, you feel an unwanted hand snake up around your hip.

"there you are. are you hiding from me?" your stomach drops at the voice of the mystery man towering over you, and you look ahead to watch chris's eyes snap up instantly.

chris lowers the cups, holding his eyes on the man behind you. you watch as he kinks his neck and his jaw tenses, taking a step closer. you shake your head at chris, holding a hand up subtly to tell him not to come any closer.

turning around, you stare up at the man. his breath reeks of liquor, and his shirt is drenched is sweat. it makes you sour your face and tense your entire body.

"i don't know what you want from me, but it's not gonna happen. i think you should leave." you speak sternly, trying not to let your voice shake with pure nerves. not even liquid confidence could help you right now.

"the party's just getting started," the man smiles, stumbling toward you in what you think is an attempt at a hug, but you begin pushing his body away from yours with a shove.

"dude, she doesn't want you. walk away." you hear chris's direct voice over your shoulder.

the last thing you want is negative attention on chris in a room full of people who would spread the news like wildfire. you never want that for him.

"it's okay, i got this." you dismiss chris in the nicest possible way, but you're being serious.

"come on, we'll have fun," the man hiccups through his words, mumbling them and tripping over toward you again.

"get the fuck away from her." chris's breath hits the back of your neck as he moves even closer to you.

"christopher, i'm serious. stop." you speak through grit teeth, so people can't read your lips, as he lingers next to you.

you try to be as inconspicuous as you can in your rejection to his advances, but he won't give up. the man appears more annoyed, and he grabs your wrist with a tight grip.

"let go of me." you grab the mans hand, trying to pry his grip without making it obvious.

you’re shaking at the thought of attention drawing. not for you, but for chris. eyes are already on you, being his ex. it's not what he ever wanted for you either. if he could make it all disappear, he would. it becomes more difficult when chris notices, and this time, has no intention of backing down.

"i'm not gonna repeat myself, back the fuck up." chris walks around your body, face to face with the guy who has a hold on you now.

"please, chris." you beg, voice quivering.

you know his temper can change in the blink of an eye. him and matt both have that in common.

"she doesn't need your help, pretty boy." the man splatters his words, a malicious smile on his face as he leans toward chris, almost nose to nose.

chris smiles criminally, flashing his teeth.

"you're right," chris puts his hands up in defence, a downward smile on his face as he chuckles darkly, taking a big step backward.

there's a feeling of relief, and intense fear as he actually does start to back away. but you know chris. unfortunately, it's unavoidable.

you try to catch his eyes, and speak through a begging stare without using words. he looks at you with sadness, and you mime the words, 'please don't'.

the moment the man tugs your wrist as if to leave with him, making you wince with the grip he holds. you regret your counteraction instantly, because chris reacts viscerally.

he flares his nostrils and squeezes his nails into his palm, balling up his hands by his hip. his knuckles are turning white.

before you can get pulled away, chris lunges forward with a tight fist, throwing a strong, perfectly aligned punch to the mans cheekbone. it throws the man to the ground in the blink of an eye, relieving the pressure on your skin. you stumble backwards, out of the line of fire.

chris steps heavily forward, shoving a foot into his ribcage before straddling his legs, completely overpowering him. the man projects forward to swing and hit chris's mouth. chris doesn't even flinch, like it was painless. you watch chris raise his arm up again to pummel down onto the now defenceless stranger.

the surrounding crowd gasps and yells, clearing the space that chris has created with his actions. iphone cameras flash, making you feel sick. the whispering and gossip you can already hear pounding in your head is overwhelming.

you feel so futile. chris is too in his own world to even realise the repercussions. you're not saying the guy didn't deserve it, you have no care in the world for him. you care about the aftermath.

in a fantasy world, a daydream, a fairytale even, this is attractive. a knight in shining armour, fighting for his lady. a world where there are no consequences, or social media, or fear. a reality chris has suddenly forgotten about.

he looks natural doing it, too. the veins in his arms so prominent, his tight mouth and huffed breaths as he gives it everything he's got.

you're frozen in shock, watching chris pelt another punch into the man, and you want to pull him off, you know you need to, but all your body can do is watch. watch the two men roughhousing and exchanging blows, chris taking every hit with pride.

you're numb to the feeling, screaming in your head.

appearing out of thin air, nick and matt are in your line of vision, hiding the chaos ahead of you. his brothers move into action before anyone else needs to.

they've obviously been summoned, but there's a part of you that believes they could just sense it. like they telepathically knew chris was getting himself into trouble by the lack of surprise they express.

nick grabs chris by the collar of his shirt, pulling him off. matt grabs his wrists, to stop him from using his fists. the fight comes undone, finally, but chris is disoriented. he spits onto the man as he's being escorted into the kitchen by his brothers.

your eyes burn with tears that refuse to fall, and matt sweeps your hand up, guiding you with them in a hurried manner. matt is trying to snap you back to reality, but it's just white noise.

chris hits his palm aggressively with frustration against the door frame of the kitchen as you all walk through, and you take a deep breath to compose yourself. your eyes are still welling as you choke back a sniffle, and you're not sure if it's shock, hurt, or anger anymore.

you're in a trance as you walk over to the freezer. your body is in autopilot, moving without you even knowing. you grab a frozen bag of vegetables out of the tray.

"so fucking stupid," you say nastily under your breath, slamming the door shut.

walking over to chris who's sat up on the ledge of the sink. you throw the packet at his chest, and he grabs it, questioning you for a second before matt walks over and shows him to place it on his bruised and red raw knuckles.

the room is filled with tension.

matt is biting his nails, you're leaning against the closed door, and nick finds himself squatting on the floor.

"what the actual fuck was that?" nick is too stunned to even yell, he just speaks aloud.

"i asked you not to, chris. i could have handled it myself." you shake your head, vision blurry as you stare vacantly ahead. you want to lash out at him, but for some reason you can't.

"yeah, it really looked like you had it under control." he crushes the frozen packet harshly against his hand.

"we'll leave you two alone." matt cuts through awkwardly, shooting nick a warning glare.

matt knows it's not his place to go off at chris right now. he'll do that later.

"but-" nick begins, and matt snaps toward the door. you hear nick sigh, knowing he would love nothing more than to stay and listen to you tear into chris. alas, they both leave promptly, matt flashing you a sympathetic smile on the way out.

you can hear from the other side of the door, both nick and matt are hustling trying to kick everyone out. it’s a weight lifted off your shoulders. the literal mess being left behind is the least of your worries now.

you're alone with chris in the kitchen again, the second time not being anymore pleasant than the first. you blame yourself fully for dropping your guard, even if for a second.

“i begged you not to, chris.” you repeat with a stern tone, laced with betrayal and genuine hurt.

he’s silent for a moment, staring at you from across the room with no emotion on his face. you know he feels terrible, he doesn’t have to show it. or tell you.

“did you think i was just gonna stand and watch?” he rebuttals.

“i would have preferred that, honestly.” you don’t understand how he can’t grasp the intensity of the situation.

"did you want him? go back out there then." he's bitter, pointing at the door. you roll your eyes, shaking your head in disbelief.

"chris," you start. he keeps talking.

“because i’m sure he’s still laying on the floor. go ahead. he might have a hard time talking now, though.” chris shrugs, speaking in a provoking manner.

“you’ll be lucky if he doesn’t press charges." you apprise.

“he should feel lucky i didn’t do worse.” he takes another step toward you, presumptuous in the way he carries himself.

"you've done a lot of stupid shit, chris. but that," you raise your hand as you speak, laughing in shock.

"that was unbelievable." you pinch the bridge of your nose, taking yet another deep breath.

"you know what's unbelievable is how you haven't even thanked me once" he ignores your words and bites back with irritation, face growing more twisted with upset.

"thank you?" you repeat, jaw dropping. you step toward him this time. you feel dejected trying to get him to understand.

"thank you for what? for causing a scene? for putting yourself in danger?" you step forward again, feeling like you could drive your heels into the ground beneath you.

"you're acting insane" he brings his hands to his head, tugging at his own hair with despair. his words sting, despite the back and forth arguing.

"you're the one that lashed out on that guy with no consideration for anyone else around you. that's insane" you speak with physical gestures unconsciously.

you're trying to reason with him, but with the state he's in, it's like trying to put a brain in a statue. you examine him, trying to search for his eyes but his body won't keep still, twisting and moving around.

"fuck, okay, i get it! i get it, y/n. you're not happy with me. you never fucking are apparently," his words trail off and he waves you away, turning his back to you. he sounds desperate for it to end.

you want to scream at him at the top of your lungs, and quite frankly, you could. your face burns and steam is about to shoot out of your ears.

"you don't need to protect me anymore, chris."

"i saved your ass out there." he speaks with his hand, four fingers direct to your chest. his words are like salt being rubbed into an open wound.

"saved me? that's a fucking stretch. your brothers saved your ass, because you don't think before you fucking act!"

"this is about YOU, y/n! what i did for you!" he slaps the back of right hand into the palm of his left.

"i'm not some damsel in distress that you need to sweep up and put in a tower, chris"

"yeah well at least in a tower you can't attract trouble." he speaks as if it's your fault, and of all the things he's just spit out, that's by far the worst. the most menacing and cut to the bone tone he's used.

"that was low, even for you." you huff, emotions at an all time high.

your breathing feels tight, but instead of reacting, you force yourself to seperate your emotions from the reality of the situation. you're both feeling very intensely, and expressing it the same way.

in hindsight, you could have redirected some of your emotions, but you also wish chris would take back some things he's said. there's no excuses.

chris re-collects himself and turns toward you again. he shrugs his shoulders, like he has nothing left to say. no fight left.

the closer chris is standing the more prominent his face is, and more specifically, his busted open lip.

you gasp in a mix of being upset, and shock. it feels like a piece of your heart is breaking off, seeing his delicate, pale skin so sore.

"your lip, chris." you exhale, stepping toward him.

he flinches when your hand raises to touch his face, and you know now that you've acknowledged it, it's hurting him. neither of you paid any attention to it amongst the turmoil.

"come here." you sigh, pulling his arm, bringing him over to where the paper towels are, in the corner of the sink.

tearing a white square into your hands, you rinse it under cold water lightly before squeezing the saturation out, leaving a damp cloth in your hand.

turning into chris's body, he looks down at you. he's still at last, and looks like he has no thoughts behind his now seemingly innocent eyes.

you cup his cheek gently, to turn his face downward. you bring the towel up to his lip, wiping his stained chin and mouth. he lets you, and doesn't even wince. he visibly gives into your touch. he's content.

"i need you to promise me you'll never do something like that again." you pull back, folding over a clean side and then wiping his lip softly, trying not to cause him pain.

"i can't promise that." he speaks in a whisper, as if he doesn't want you to hear his word.

with his lip no longer being red, you toss the damp and crumbling paper into sink, making it a problem for another time.

"why?" you look into his eyes, wiping your hands on your shirt.

his blue eyes are big but blameless, pupils dilated. holding his stare as your arm lowers.

"because if anyone lays a hand on you again, i'm going to prison for life." the piece of your heart that broke off earlier reattaches at his words alone.

chris's much shorter hair is spikey around his ears, and wet at the ends, turning dark brown from his sweat. you caress his messy curls, tucking it over the curves of his ears and taming the wispy strands. you hold his head in your hands, tiling him up and your mouths are inches apart.

"how hard did he hit your head?" you ask against his lips. he chuckles, genuinely.

he's an idiot, undeniably. but the gut wrenching, lawless love he has for you makes him that way. his low, smooth laughter, makes your heart skip a beat.

"i mean it, y/n."

"but i know, i know it was stupid." he admits.

"yeah, it was." you agree, shaking his head around slightly.

he grabs your hands with his own, engulfing them and holding them in his palms. he squeezes your hands, bringing them to his lips and kissing your knuckles.

"i'm sorry." he speaks on your skin.

"like really fucking sorry." he strains his head back with remorse, making his adam's apple more prominent, and he swallows hard. like he's swallowing his guilt.

"i said some nasty things. i wish i could take them back, y/n. i really do."

"i know, chris."

"no, you don't. i'll apologise to you everyday for the rest of my life if i have to. i've been horrible tonight."

"chris, enough," you hush him, the calmness in your tone making him understand you hear him. loud and clear. you need some time to forgive, but you absorb his words.

"i don't know how you didn't smack me in the mouth." he jokes, and you giggle through your breath.

"there's still time," you joke back. and he knows it by your tone.

"i could never bring myself to do that. as much as you deserve it." your banter eases the pressure, and you feel chris squeeze your hands in his again.

you rub your thumbs over his knuckles, looking at the little purple marks forming. he notices your face drop with stress, and he slips his hands away, moving to your hips instead.

"hey, i'm fine. i don't care what happens to me, i just need you to be okay."

"i am okay," you reply. he drops his face with a look that expresses he doesn’t believe you. you give a light eyeroll, and small smile.

"i mean it, i swear.” you raise your pinkie finger to him, to keep your promise. knowing it’s the only way he’ll actually believe you.

chris smiles, weak with his bruised lip, and wraps up your pinkie with his own, wriggling your hands around.

"i'm always gonna want to protect you." he pulls you toward his body. he's so warm, and radiates a magnetic energy that makes you want to collapse into his arms.

you know you don't need him to, but deep down, you would like his protection. his unconditional love. selflessness.

"i'll be sure to send you love letters in jail" you grin up at him, and laughs from the chest.

his voice is like a scratched record, fatigue taking over his body. you swallow hard, all of your senses coming back. he feels so real standing in front of you all of a sudden, like it's not just a dream you're about to wake up from.

"stay the night." you speak mindlessly.

chris brushes your hair from your face, cupping the back of your neck lightly to pull your forehead to his lips, kissing just above your eyebrows gently. he rests his chin on the crown of your head, pulling you tight to his chest in an embrace.

"i'll stay forever if you ask me to."

this is the feeling he fights for. requited love.

#chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo angst #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo fic #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo blurb #sturniolo triplets #damsel in distress

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hotchfiles · 1 month

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hotch "representing the bau" hotchner x activist!reader who won't stand for bullshit

not like actual conflict cause we know hotch is a very principled guy

more like

"shit i can't shitpost about overthrowing the government anymore cause my boyfriend is the government" vibes

you have no idea how deeply i feel about this i've actually posted about this because i'm very much against all cops and he's a literal fed ! but

you met in the most conventional of ways, which makes the whole thing even funnier to the outside person. a bar. you noticed him the moment he walked in, too downright gorgeous to be ignored, you stare at him completely shamelessly and get a few shy awkward smiles in return while he sips on his first drinks and talks to his companion, who you later learned was rossi.

he will find it later on that you're not really up for games, but it takes him by surprise when you approach him, card in hand with your phone number and the red stain of your red lips on the other side. he's immediately smitten, being flirted with so openly at his age does wonders for his ego and he makes sure to text you as soon as he gets back to his apartment.

the texting back and forth goes for hours, a lot of flirting, you're much more outspoken than he is, but still you find him hilarious, you will be telling your friends he's the funny one between you two (none of them will believe you, but you like having this only to yourself as well).

you talk movies, plays, music, favorite drinks and by 2am he asks you on a date. it's perfect from the get go. he's flattering, compliments your choice of clothes, says he likes the lipstick (the same you used on the card he is keeping safe on his wallet), takes you to a nice restaurant.

you tell him since you made the very first move, he would have to be the one to kiss you, he argues he sent you the first text so you should be the one to do it, in the end none of you know who took the first move, you're just sure you were the one to unlock your apartment door, stumbling along with him as you two passionately kissed.

it's not common for this to happen for him, he's too much of a gentleman, sleeping with someone on the first date isn't the gentlemanly thing to do, you're not attached to those norms so even if he tried to argue, your lips glued to his neck as you worked on his belt took his mind off of it.

it's not until the next morning that he really notices your place: the types of books you had, some revolutionary art pieces and it's then he realizes he has no idea what you do for a living. neither did he tell you he was a fbi agent. you two talked long hours and career wasn't even a topic (that may be why you caught his heart so fast).

you were a journalist, a writer, quite proficient and known for your progressive ideals and less than civil protests, so when you both realize the differences and the conflict it might bring, the first instinct was to pull away. forget the whole thing. it was only one date after all.

it's a matter of days for the realization that being apart won't happen, your thoughts are filled with him and his voice and the way he touched you and aaron can possibly detail every curve of your body and the way you smelled as if he was still in bed with you.

there's a mutual agreement of public discretion, you can't have your readers knowing you're falling for a fed, nor does the media needs any more reasons to write about the fbi.

his team knows though, and so does strauss, she had to be warned of the possibility of your name popping up in some lists. she reads half of your writings after that, highlighting stuff you should not be writing about (you won't listen to her on it) and the compromise you make is to keep all of your opposition material completely professional, no tweets, no tiktoks, nothing of the sort with jokes about overthrowing the government.

"did you... did you just cite and use one of stalin's books as resource here?" he asks, he's in your bed, blue boxer shorts and white t-shirt on, completely comfortable with you already, his reading glasses sit on top of nose like an old man and he furrows his brows, looking up at you. aaron's interested in what you write, he truly reads whatever you hand him just to learn more about you, he's not the one to try to censure any of it.

"well yeah... his writings are the easiest to comprehend on the topic." you shrug, not understanding the tone of his question at first.

"honey... you can't just... do you know how many... forget it. your editor will love it." his poor attempts to talk you down failing each time he looked over and saw your expectant eyes as his opinion is important to you. you smile at his defeat, taking the papers from his hand and throwing somewhere else in the room, his glasses go to the bedside table and soon you're kissing any of his worries away.

#lari writes sometimes #THIS GOT TO ME OKAY #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds x reader #hotch x reader #hotch x you #hotch imagine #hotch scenario

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b4b3tte · 9 months

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Hello, I having not the best day....and all I need is Ken to comfort me and cheer me up, either with human or barbie reader...Just pure pink Ken fluff.

Sorry to drop the request like that and Thank you in advance

COMFORT

꒰ ⊹ ˚ Summary — You have a bad day at work and all Ken is thinking about is comforting you and making you feel better<3

Pairing — Gosling!Ken X Reader

Contains of — pure fluff!!<3

Note — Hey thanks for you request I appreciate it!! I’m sorry you had a bad day today I hope you feel better and if you have any problems at all you can dm me I’ll be happy to talk and be friends with you!🩷

As the sun set over the bustling city, Ken could tell something was amiss the moment you stepped through the door. Your radiant smile was there anymore, as you made eye contact with Ken you managed a weak smile as you kicked off your shoes and sank onto the couch. Ken took a seat next to you , concern etched across his features. "Rough day?" he inquired, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

You nodded, your voice barely a whisper. "Yeah, it's just... work stuff. Everything seemed to go wrong today and it seemed like it was my fault. “

Ken leaned closer, offering his support. "I'm here for you. Whatever you need to talk about, I'm ready to listen."

Your eyes welled up with unshed tears, you finally let yourself lean into Ken's embrace. His strong arms wrapped around you, providing the warmth and solace you desperately needed. "I just feel like I can't catch a break lately," you confessed.

You’ve always been strong and never took any mental health breaks because you thought you didn’t need them but it turns out you did need one, it just kept building up and it Finally exploded.

Ken stroked your hair gently. "You're incredibly talented and resilient. Remember all the challenges you've overcome before. This is just a bump in the road, and you're more than capable of handling it."

You’ve calmed down a bit and you have a tug at the end of your lips forming a smile, you look at Ken and hug him, you whisper “ you always know how to make me feel better “

He chuckled softly. "Being with you for a couple of months have taught me a thing or two “

As the evening wore on, Ken regaled you with funny stories, bringing laughter back to your eyes. He ordered your favorite takeout and set up a cozy movie night with your favorite movies. The hours passed, and your spirits gradually lifted, thanks to Ken's unwavering support and love.

“ You know, I'm really lucky to have you in my life."

Ken pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. "The feeling is entirely mutual. We're a team, remember? No matter what comes our way, we'll face it together."

And as you guys watched the city lights twinkle outside the window, Ken's arms around your waist, you couldn't help but feel that with him by your side, you could conquer anything the world throws at you

Hey guys! Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed it, if you have any ideas,prompts or request please let me know I’ll be more than happy to read them! Love you ❤️

#fanfic #ken x fem reader #ryan gosling ken #ken x reader #ken x male reader #ken barbie #ken x you #the barbie movie #barbie #ken ryan gosling #ryan gosling #b4b3ttee #x reader #female reader #fanfic aesthetic #headcanons #nameisbb3tte

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saetoru · 2 years

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#𝐒𝐇𝐄’𝐒 𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋, 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐘

☰ SYNOPSIS ⋮ no matter how wrong it is, you still can't seem to stay away from your best friend's ex ; part two of girl, you're such a backstabber — but can be read alone

— pairing ⋮ gojo satoru x reader

— length ⋮ 2.2k words

— contents ⋮ nsfw and 18+ content, fem! reader, mentions of betrayal (gojo is your best friend’s ex and you fuck him), mutual pining, lovesick! gojo, college parties, fingering, mirror sex, unprotected sex, creampie, pet names (sweetheart, princess, baby)

— notes ⋮ this was based on this ask and i decided to make a mini part 2 bc i actually rly liked this lil au so yeah

as much as he tells himself that this is just for show, gojo can’t lie—sometimes the mean, angry attitude you offer him when people are around makes his stomach churn just a little. he knows it’s just to keep your best friend off your tails, to make sure she doesn’t know you’re fucking her ex-boyfriend, to make sure people don’t hear the gossip and spread the rumors you’re so painfully trying to avoid.

but still. gojo wishes he could have his hands planted on your hips like half the other men in this room with their girlfriends, he wishes he could lean down and whisper something in your ear and make you giggle, he wishes he could have you on his arms like he’s always wanted—and not have to answer to anyone about it.

but he scoffs, rolls his eyes and plays his part in perfectly chuckling like he’s amused, grinning at you like you’re simply entertaining as you glare at him.

“still mad, sweetheart?” he bats his lashes at you, watching your lips curl deeper into a scowl. he hates it. wants to kiss the scowl off your lips and show the room that they’re the same lips that press firmly against his, the same lips that wrap around his dick in the backseat of his car, the same lips that cry his names like prayers off your tongue.

“do you ever shut up?” you hiss, your best friend right beside you as she glares at him with a scowl of her own.

it’s not fair. she’s over him—he’s pretty sure she has someone new too if what he’s heard has any truth to it. she doesn’t love him anymore, and he’s starting to question if she ever really did in the first place.

so why can’t he just have you?

“don’t get your panties in a twist,” he chuckles, “plenty of room for all of us to be here without catfights,” he grins at you like you’re nothing but a nuisance.

but you’re more than that.

you’re soft and sweet and kind, you kiss his lips and drink him in like water from a well on scorching summers, you wrap your arms around him like the weight of him blankets you whole, and you sink your fingertips into his hair like the strands are your lifeline grasped into your touch. and when you whisper his name, in that way that sounds so right only when you say it, he’s sure he’ll never feel this way ever again.

it’s simply not fair.

why can’t he love you in peace? he swears he’ll do it right this time—promises, bargains even, to the world that he’ll make up for the times he wasn’t always the best man who did the best things. he’ll treat you like you deserve, kiss you closer every chance he gets, hold you tighter if that’s what you ask, give you his heart as it beats right in his hand, bleeding and raw if that’s what it takes.

so why can’t he just have you—the one and only thing he asks for?

he’s quick to press you against the wall in the bathroom when you meet him there. his hands cupping your cheeks and bringing you closer like this is the last he’ll ever get of you, hungrily sucking on your lips as your eyes flutter shut and your hands fist his shirt. gojo is intoxicating—you can’t blame your best friend for sticking with him for as long as she has, for staying right by his side even as it tears her apart from the seams.

but he’s nothing like the asshole you knew when he was hers, nothing like the man you hated so deeply. he’s gentle with you, he holds you like you’re glass and cradles you to his chest. he’s not distant, he lets you see the softer and rounder sides of him, the ones that are less rigid and cold, the ones that are silly and less tapered and make your heart melt. he’s not selfish, he doesn’t ever ask for anything in return when he gives, pouring his soul out for you like it’s his privilege to give in the first place.

so you kiss him back—because you can’t help yourself. this gojo isn’t the same gojo you’ve seen and heard. this gojo is yours—and your gojo is meant to be loved, so why shouldn’t you? even if in secret, you can’t help but love him.

“love being so mean to me,” he mumbles against your mouth, “‘m startin’ to think you want to break my heart.”

you peck his jaw, making his eyes close and his breath exhale shakily. “well, someone has to keep you in line,” you hum.

“we could tell her,” he says quietly. you don’t say anything, and he has his answer—but it doesn’t make his heart drop any slower, or any less painfully, and he wonders when he’ll get to stop loving you from behind the scene, without shadows curtaining you like you don’t deserve the light.

“satoru,” you sigh softly, “you know we can’t—”

“right,” he nods quickly, “forget i said it.”

it’s desperate, the way you kiss him again. deep and hard, but still gentle enough not to hurt the already tender wounds. he grips your hips, fingers digging into them as he pulls you closer, grinding his hips against yours as you groan into each other’s mouths.

“toru, what if—”

“just be quiet,” he cuts you off, “you can do that, can’t you baby?” he plays dirty—lets his hand wander to your chest from under your shirt, squeezing around your breast and making you melt against him as you nod. “good,” he hums, satisfied with your response.

he’s quick to rid you both of your pants, slipping them down your legs and spreading your thighs to slip fingers to your folds. he smiles at the way you’re dripping when he gathers your slick on his fingers, sliding along your entrance teasingly before slowly sinking into you. you whimper, arms wrapping around his neck and clinging to him as he’s knuckles deep into your pussy.

“gotta be quiet, kay sweetheart? don’t want your little friend of yours to get suspicious now, do you?” you quickly shake your head, biting your lip and trying to fight back the whines that beg to slip from your mouth as he curls his fingers into you, angling into your sweet spot effortlessly—like it’s muscle memory.

“t-toru,” you gasp quietly, “fuck—feels good,” you moan softly, grinding your hips down onto his digits, meeting him halfway as he bullies into your cunt and stretches you open as he drags along your tight walls.

“yeah?” he chuckles, “anyone else make you feel this good? hmm? you let anyone else feel this pussy?” he growls against your neck before nipping at the skin, scattering kisses until he meets your jaw.

“no,” you gasp, “n-never—jus’ you, toru. only you—oh.” he fucks you with his fingers like it’s a skill only he’s perfected—like only he knows what pace to set and what spot to hit and what words to say to make you break.

so he does. he quickens the thrust of his fingers, lets his palm glide over your clit as his fingertips hit the sensitive spot against your walls, and kisses your forehead as he murmurs, “c’mon, sweetheart. be good and cum for me, yeah? cum all pretty for me, princess.”

your legs shake and your head is leaned back against the wall, hands fisting his hair as you cum on his fingers, walls spasming around him before you let out a mewl of his name—one he quickly cuts off with a press of his lips.

“shh,” he chuckles, “can’t keep this a secret if you can’t even keep quiet, baby,” he grins smugly, “do i make it that hard? no one else makes you feel this good, is that it?”

you would roll your eyes as you ride out your peak—if they weren’t rolled to the back of your head, that is. but really, you can hear the uncertainty behind his words—like he’s scared maybe there is someone better, someone who you can kiss at a party and dance along with without worrying about anyone else. someone who you can take pictures with and post. someone whose hand you can hold as you walk around. someone who you can tell your friends about—without worrying about losing them.

“i don’t think anyone makes you feel as good either,” you shoot back through quiet pants as you catch your breath, “you can’t keep away from me.”

“no one makes me feel what you do,” he says instantly, unashamed. and then he twists you to stand in front of the sink, hands flat on the counter to hold you upright as you stare at your reflection through the mirror. gojo grins at you from behind, lazily stroking his exposed cock and sighing softly at the friction.

you watch as his fist drags along his length, squeezing around the head before stroking down again, smearing the dribbling pre cum from the tip until he’s glistening and the squelching sound of his fist fucking his cock fills the room. he looks pretty, like a picture painted before you with slow strokes and vivid colors, like an exhibit that draws the breath from your lungs as you stare at his lips part and his eyes flutter closed. he clenches his jaw when he pulls away, and then his hands are on your hips, pulling you back before rubbing his fat tip along your entrance.

you both shudder before you whine over your shoulder, “please toru. need you—oh,” you gasp, cutting yourself off when he slides into you with one quick thrust of his hips, burying himself to the hilt as he groans muffled against your shoulder. he’s big—stretches you out with a slight burn, but it quickly dissipates into pleasure he as slowly rocks his hips into you.

“see that? see how good i fit into you?” he grunts into your ear, meeting your eyes through your reflection before darting down to your wet cunt, watching you sucking him in as he ruts into you. “gotta make sure this pussy’s molded to my cock,” he grins, “can’t let anyone else fit, can i? gotta have you all to myself.”

“toru,” you whine pathetically, trying your best to keep your voice a quiet whisper as the music and the laughter from the party pounds on behind the door that separates you from everyone else. “toru, please—”

“still can’t keep quiet, sweetheart?” he mocks, rolling his hips into a particularly harsh thrust, making your hand fly to your mouth as you can’t help but mewl when the head of his cock kisses your spot perfectly. he grunts into your shoulder, biting it gently as you flutter around him, hugging around his length tighter.

he slips in and out of you, thick veins dragging along your sensitive walls, skin slapping as the wet sound of his length pounding into your cunt drowns out any of the sounds from the party outside.

“‘m close,” you whimper, biting your bottom teeth between your teeth, “fuck—’m so close, toru. please,” you sob quietly.

“me too, baby,” he rasps, “cum with me, yeah? sh-shit, wanna feel you so bad.”

it’s instant, the effect of his words—they make you shatter, falling apart against him as you squeal when your second orgasm rips through you. gojo doesn’t take long to follow, groaning quietly against your shoulder as he feels you suck him in while your walls spasm around him. he falls apart with thick, hot ropes of cum painting your walls, cock twitching inside of you with each ribbon he fucks into you.

it makes his hands grip your tighter, chest heaving with labored pants as he sloppily rolls his hips and desperately rides out both of your highs—right until you both whine slightly from the pleasure becoming too much.

“jus’ can’t get enough of you, sweetheart,” he mumbles, “‘s never enough.”

you’re quiet, letting him grab your hips and spin you around, letting his head fall back to the crook of your neck as he cradles your body against his chest. you can’t fight the urge to bury your hand into his hair and stroke at the locks, sighing when he wraps you in his arms tighter when he feels your nails drag soothingly against his scalp.

“this is getting out of hand, toru,” you mumble. he tenses, breath hitching, “we should—”

“hello?” you hear a knock on the door, and then you both freeze, bodies going rigid with shock, “is someone in here? can you please hurry up?”

the voice is familiar—one you both know all too well. the same voice gojo has heard scream back at him over and over. the same voice you’ve heard cry to you through the phone. the same voice that haunts you both every time you meet like this. the same voice you’re both trying to escape in the first place.

“this door’s been locked forever,” you hear your best friend huffs, “hurry up, you’re holding up a line.”

you’re not sure how you’re supposed to get out of this one—but maybe, you think, it’s about time for you to get what you deserve.

#teepods.writings #thirstee!#fics.#gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo smut #gojo x y/n #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru smut

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st-eve-barnes · 7 months

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You know that I'm no good (Chapter 10, the final one!)

(Modern Aegon x fem Reader, Modern Sihtric x fem Reader)

Summary: You want Sihtric. Aegon wants Skade. There's only one small problem: Sihtric and Skade are dating each other.

This chapter: You struggle with life after Aegon, and then you accidentally run into each other...

LAST CHAPTER! Thank you all so much for the love and the comments on this fic! Read the warnings for this chapter: depression/drinking/self harm. But also lots of fluff and smut ;)

Warning for the entire series: 18+ for explicit language and smut. Angst/comfort/fluff. Fake dating and so much mutual pining. Mentions of depression/drinking/self harm.

This is an Aegon x Reader fic with a bit of Sihtric x Reader on the side. I've wanted to write a modern AU that combines The Last Kingdom and House of the dragon for a while now so here it is!

Word count: +5800

Masterlist

***

All my fics are also on AO3

***

“How is he?” you asked hesitantly during your weekly lunch with Helaena.

It was a few days after Sihtric had been in your apartment and you’d both said your goodbyes, for good this time. Since then your mind had only been occupied by one man and it wasn’t Sihtric.

You had been on the verge of feeling better, not thinking of Aegon constantly anymore, but then being with Sihtric had felt like a wake up call, reminding you of what you had been missing and now it hurt all over again, even worse than before.

“He’s as miserable as you are,” Helaena informed you,”He doesn’t even go out anymore, I haven’t seen him this sad in a really long time.”

Her words hurt your heart and you quietly sipped from your coffee, looking out over the river.

“Does that…make it easier on you?" Helaena asked as she played with the last piece of her pizza crust,"Knowing that he's suffering as well?"

“No. Actually…it only makes things worse. I don’t want him to feel miserable or sad," you confessed with a sigh,"It hurts me to think of him like that. I just…want him to be happy, if it’s not with me then...that's fine but...I just need him to be good. Can you please look out for him, Hel? I know you're not best friends but I need...I need him to be okay.”

Helaena stared at you for a moment and then her eyes widened with realization,”Holy shit, you fucking love him!”

You shook your head with a sad smile,”I thought we’d established that already.”

“No, I knew you were in love with him, I didn’t know…you loved him. Oh my god, babe.”

You nodded your head, trying to hold back your tears,”It doesn’t matter, Hel. He doesn’t love me back that way.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“Then why am I alone?” you shook your head and pushed back your tears, not wanting to give into them, not again, not after all this time fighting to get over him.

Helaena sighed,”Because he is an idiot.”

“Yeah, and you warned me about that. Fuck, he even warned me about it and I was still too stubborn to listen.”

“The heart wants what the heart wants.”

You nodded softly,“My heart was a fool, Hel.”

Helaena’s eyes met yours.“But he loves you too,” she insisted,”I fucking know he does, he’s just…being Aegon.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, feeling tears well up in your eyes. You knew you were going to break down if she even so much as mentioned his name again.

”Can we please talk about something else now?” you pleaded.

“I’m sorry,” Helaena shook her head,”Hey, wanna go out on Friday? Get really drunk and just dance the night away. No guys.”

You smiled and nodded your head,”That sounds nice actually. Especially that last part.”

“Good! It’s a date! With me, no guys!”

You laughed at her enthusiasm and squeezed her hand with a grateful smile. You would get through this, just as you had before, with Helaena’s help and a lot of patience.

All the love Aegon may or may not have for you didn’t change the outcome. He had made his choice, and it didn’t involve you.

So he no longer deserved your tears, it was time to focus on yourself this time.

***

Winchester was a small city, you always knew it was bound to happen at some point, yet you were still totally unprepared for it when it eventually did.

You were on your way to grab a quick bite to eat before meeting up with Helaena for your girl’s night that Friday when you ran into him.

He was just stepping out of the sushi shop the moment you wanted to walk in.

Both of you were instantly stopped in your tracks.

It was as if the world momentarily stopped spinning.

But it was only you and him who stood frozen in time.

“Aegon.” His name was but a whisper from your lips and at first he didn’t respond. All he did was stare at you, hands clasping the paper bag in his hands.

“Hey,” he finally managed, his voice soft and deep and so soothingly familiar. He still wasn’t able to tear his eyes away from you.

You were dressed to go out, wearing high heels, a long classy coat and your favorite black dress, the one you wore that night in the club, where Aegon touched you for the first time. He was clearly dressed to stay in, wearing a comfortable, cozy hoody and baggy pants.

The both of you couldn’t have looked any more different, like you didn’t belong together. The irony wasn’t lost on you.

Aegon’s long hair was gone, he was sporting a buzz cut now.

He looked so different, and yet very much the same. Your heart bled with the love you still felt for him, the love you’d been fighting so hard not to feel.

“You look beautiful,” Aegon spoke softly after a while, pulling you from your thoughts and giving you a hesitant smile.

“You cut your hair,” you remarked softly in return, making him smile brighter.

“Yeah, I thought it was time for a dramatic statement, post breakup. Something about a fresh start and all that shit.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his explanation and you realized how much you’d missed this, just talking to him and hearing his voice.

“It looks good on you,” you complimented him.

“Thanks,” he smiled, blushing and finally managing to break eye contact,”I should probably…leave you to your night then. You look like you have plans, so…”

Disappointment flooded your veins.

You‘d give anything for him not to go yet, but you didn’t have the words to make him stay. So you just nodded.

“Take care, Aegon, it was good to see you,” you gave him one last smile before turning your back to him, doing your utter best not to break down in tears right there.

You stepped inside the shop and ordered your food, trying to think of Helaena and the fun night you two had planned. You couldn’t let this unexpected encounter upset you and ruin your girls night, you needed this now more than ever.

You paid for your order and grabbed your bag before heading out. As you were searching for your phone to text Helaena you suddenly froze again.

Aegon was standing right where you left him, looking at you with a sheepish, nervous smile on his face before he spoke,“I thought…since you ordered sushi, and I ordered sushi, maybe we could…find a spot by the water and eat it together, catch up? I mean if…you don’t have anywhere else to be right now…it’s fine if you…Fuck, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that. You clearly have plans and you’ve moved on..I didn’t mean to…”

“I have some time,” you took a step closer to him, letting your eyes meet and he instantly stopped rambling when he noticed your smile.

“Yeah?” he asked hesitantly.

You nodded,”Yeah.”

He smiled relieved and you followed him to find a bench with a table near the river. Aegon opted to sit next to you instead of on the opposite side of the table. You knew it meant nothing but you couldn’t help but feel your heart make a little jump at his decision to sit closer to you.

You both opened your bags to take out the food and drinks and then started eating in silence. It felt surreal to just sit with him like this, as if these past months had never happened.

Aegon was the first to speak after a while,”You look really good. I know I already said that but…it’s good…I’m glad to see you’ve moved on.”

You turned to look at him in confusion,”Why do you keep saying that?”

“What do you mean?”

“That I’ve moved on, you've said it twice now and I don’t…I don’t know why you would say that.”

Because it was the furthest thing from the truth. If you looked good tonight it was just the dress and the make up, it was all superficial, and so fake. You hadn’t felt good in months and seeing Aegon tonight only confirmed that. You hadn’t moved on from him at all, all that time apart meant nothing, it hadn’t changed a damn thing, you still wanted him.

You would always want him.

You looked away from him and took another bite from your sushi, trying to keep it together.

This time Aegon was the one who was confused,“But I thought you and Sihtric…”

“Me and Sihtric?” you asked surprised,”There is no me and Sihtric, Aegon.”

“Oh,” he froze for a moment, staring at his drink,”I thought…I thought you two were together.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because…I watched him leave your apartment one night.”

You stopped eating to look at him,”What were you doing there? Were you stalking me? You just happened to walk by the one time Sihtric was in my apartment?”

“One time?” he asked, clearly pleasantly surprised by that reveal.

You sighed,“Not the point, Aegs.”

“I’m sorry,” he avoided your eyes, guilt written all over his face,”I know I shouldn’t have done that. I just…I’ve wanted to come talk to you so many times, I just…always chickened out. And then I thought there was no point because…you were with him.”

He looked sad again and how on earth were you supposed to stay mad at him when he looked at you with those big, wet puppy eyes?

”Me and Sihtric tried but it didn’t work out," you explained.

Aegon opened his mouth to speak but nothing was coming out.

”I guess sometimes the thing you always thought you wanted…isn’t what you truly wanted after all,” you explained.

“Yeah,” he nodded quietly.

“What about Skade?” you asked.

”I never saw her again after that festival thing and…it’s like you said. She was never what I wanted.”

Aegon sighed and bit his lip, struggling with his next words.

How could he tell you he’d stopped caring about Skade the moment he kissed you? Or how badly he’d missed you every single day since you'd been apart? How could he tell you all he’d ever truly wanted was you? How could he say any of those things when he was the one who sent you away?

You both continued eating in silence.

“I want to apologize to you,” he said after a while.

“There’s no need, Aegs,” you shook your head.

“Yes, there is,” he insisted,”I was a real jerk and you had done nothing to deserve any of that. I’m sorry, for everything, I…it was never you, I need you to know that.”

He pulled his leg up on the bench so he could face you, the look in his eyes suddenly so soft you couldn’t look at anything else.

“I know,” you nodded.

“Good,” he breathed,”because…hurting you was the absolute last thing I wanted.”

“I know,” you whispered but your voice was shaking. Aegon’s hand moved to touch your arm but he pulled back at the last moment, making you crave his touch even more.

He was quiet again after that and you both finished the last of your sushi.

“So…how have you been?” you asked carefully after a while.

“I’m…okay,” he answered but then that sad smile appeared on his face again and he started shaking his head,”Actually…that’s a lie, It’s been…it’s been pretty shitty since you left, to be honest.”

“Since you told me to leave,” you corrected him.

“Yeah, I’m…I’m so sorry about that.”

“Are you?”

You both looked at each other, your gaze harder than you intended, preparing yourself for another disappointment and for him to shut down again as he always had before.

But then Aegon surprised you.

His voice was shaking when he answered your question,”I was so fucking happy when I was with you but…so fucking scared as well. That it was all going to go up in flames again and I would lose you because that’s what always happens. I always screw things up, I just can’t help it. I’m the one who lights the fire and then I cry when it burns.”

You kept your eyes on him but didn’t say a word, not wanting to interrupt him now that he was finally opening up to you.

“I’m messed up, Y/N,” he continued,”I’m so messed up and I’m never going to be normal. I just…didn’t want you to have to deal with any of that.”

“Deal with what exactly, Aegs?” you asked carefully.

He sighed deeply while softly nodding his head. You had never seen him this nervous before and it made your heart ache for him. You carefully reached out and placed your hand on his knee. Aegon's breath hitched at your touch.

“It’s okay,” you spoke softly, encouraging him,”You can tell me anything.”

You were about to take your hand back when Aegon covered it with his, keeping yours in place, his thumb anxiously tracing lines over your skin. His touch made your heart race.

“It’s just…a lot,” he spoke softly, avoiding your eyes and nervously biting on his lip.

“That’s okay, I can handle a lot,” you whispered and he let out a deep breath, trying to keep his calm before he started talking again.

“I’ve been depressed pretty much my whole life, even as kid I always felt…out of place, not good enough. When our parents divorced things only got worse. Aemond had always been so smart and determined and all that stuff just seemed to motivate him even more, it strengthened him. And Hel…well, she just lives in her own little bubble where everything is always fine, sometimes I think her imagination makes her stronger than all of us.”

You couldn’t help but smile at that.

“But for me,” he continued,”I couldn’t deal with it and…it made me hate the world even more. Hate myself even more.”

His hand was still holding yours and squeezing a little harder now.

“By the time I was 14 I was depressed all the time. When I turned sixteen I started drinking, learned that alcohol was a really good way to shut off your brain, I got addicted real quick. Quit school and got into some trouble, some of it illegal but…when your parents own the city things like that disappear in a heartbeat, I could pretty much do whatever I wanted without any consequences, no one gave a shit. When I was seventeen I drank so much I ended up in a coma. I woke up after two days. Doctors said I was lucky to have gotten out of that alive but…I didn’t feel lucky, I wished they would have just let me die, I was so angry that they didn’t.”

Your heart was breaking but you didn’t dare speak now that he was pouring his heart out to you.

Aegon continued,“I moved out to live on my own shortly after that which…only made things worse because now there was no one to keep me in check. Helaena found me on the sidewalk of my apartment one night, totally out of it, she was scared shitless, she thought I was dead. After that mum put me up in the penthouse where I am now, gave me my own driver and housekeeper, just as a way to keep some control. And keep me alive, I guess. And things were okay for a while, Hel sort of adopted me into her friends group and took me out with her, thinking they might have a good influence on me and keep me on the right track but…I corrupted every single one of her girl friends.”

He gave a weak smile at those words and let his eyes meet yours,”That’s why she didn’t want me near you. Anyway, for me that was the start of a whole new social life. The parties were fun, the girls…let’s just say sex was an even better distraction than alcohol and when you combined the two…I fucked and drank my way through that year and it worked pretty well. But of course that didn’t last either.”

He took a few deep breaths, ignoring the tears that were starting to form in his eyes. He was rushing to get everything out before he wanted to give into those emotions.

“I tried to kill myself again,” he blurted out,”Nearly worked as well if it hadn’t been for Aemond finding me and rushing me off to hospital. I was forced to go to therapy after that, it was either that or they were going to keep me there so…I went. And I still go to this day because…well, I still need it and I probably always will. Those days when I didn’t contact you or came to see you…I wasn’t avoiding you or growing bored with you, I was with my therapist because…I was really struggling.”

He looked down and you watched as his tears finally fell.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this, Aegs?” you whispered, surprised to find your own voice shaking with tears as well.

“Because…I didn’t want to burden you with any of that, and I…I didn’t think I could ever make you as happy as you made me.”

You were clinging to his hand, fighting to hold back your tears, trying to be strong for him.

“I don’t drink anymore though,” he then added with a sad little smile,” I’ve been sober for a year and three months now. I always get my own drinks at every party now because I need to make sure they’re alcohol free, it’s like…a placebo of some sorts, I guess. In the public eye I’m still the party boy and people don’t ask me questions about why I don’t drink. And I don’t have to explain to them why one drink can mess me up so bad. It’s just…easier that way.”

He looked up to meet your eyes,”Only Hel and Aemond know about this…and now you.”

His thumb was rubbing your hand again and it made a shiver run up your spine.

“Thank you for telling me. All of it, Aegs. It means so much that you trust me with this."

“Just thought you deserved to know, after…everything, you know.”

He leaned a little closer to you and you had to fight the urge to wrap your arms around him and never let him go again, but before you could even consider that Aegon was talking again.

“This is why I don’t have a job, or a relationship or even friendships that last very long because it’s just too hard for me to maintain. When I said I couldn’t be what you needed I…this is what I meant. I’ll never be the guy you can take home to your parents because I’ll either disappoint them or I just won’t show up. And you’ll never be able to start a family with someone like me or rely on me because…I can’t even rely on myself, let alone take care of someone else…you deserve someone who can give you all of that. Someone…like Sihtric.”

You sighed deeply.

“What about what I want?” you then asked, looking into his eyes and Aegon did nothing but stare back at you, surprised by your words.

You shook your head,”Have you ever asked me if I even want a family? Because I don’t, Aegs, I’ve never wanted kids, that is not…it’s not my dream or my goal. Neither is having a man to take care of me, I can take care of myself just fine.”

Aegon’s lips curled up into a smile at those words.”I know you can,” he whispered.

“Depression doesn’t scare me,” you then added, softer,”my shoulders are strong enough to let someone else lean on me, I can take it. And I don’t run when things get hard, you should know that by now.”

Aegon nodded and then all of a sudden he started crying uncontrollably, giving into all the emotions he’d been holding back, no longer caring to hide his tears from you.

Your hands reached for his hoodie, grabbing it to gently pull him closer to you. He followed your lead, carefully and a little hesitantly he buried his face into the crook of your neck, his tears warm and wet on your skin. When your arms wrapped around his shoulders in a soft hug he gave in and grabbed you waist to pull you close and hug you back, so tight and so hard it took your breath away for a moment but you didn’t care. You knew right then you would never let him go again.

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed against your skin,”I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

You cried at his words and hugged him closer,”It’s okay, we’re okay, Aegs.”

You let him cry and held him through every last wave of it, caressing his back and hair as he kept clinging to you, until he eventually leaned back to look into your eyes.

A soft smile played on his lips when you ran your hand through his short hair again.

“You like it short like this?” he whispered softly.

You nodded your head,”I love it, it really suits you.”

Your hand cupped his face and he closed his eyes and leaned into your touch, making your heart melt.

“Aegs,” you whispered,”I…I…”

You struggled to find the words and Aegon opened his eyes, his gaze intense on yours when he asked softly,“Do you still want me?”

“Never stopped,” you whispered .

There were tears in his eyes again,”Even now? After everything I just told you…do you still?”

You nodded and then his lips were on yours in the softest all consuming kiss, taking what he’d been craving every single day since you’d left. It was slow and unhurried, not demanding anything other than this. You opened up for him, just as eager as you always had and Aegon took the opportunity to kiss you deeper.

You couldn’t recall how long you’d sat there, getting lost in his kisses, his eyes, his hugs, letting every lingering touch from him erase the time apart.

“Listen, I know you have plans tonight,” Aegon spoke softly after a while, taking your hand in his and kissing your knuckles,”But…can I take you out tomorrow? Just the two of us, no audience or distractions, I have a lot to make up for.”

”You can take me out tonight,” you smiled,”I’m sure Hel will understand something came up.”

***

After finishing the sushi you and Aegon went for a walk by the river, he bought you ice cream and held your hand and every few minutes he stopped your walk to pull you into another sweet kiss. You could feel your heart starting to heal little by little.

When he walked you to your apartment afterwards you didn’t even hesitate.

“Come up with me,” you breathed against his lips.

“You sure?” he asked,”We can take things slow if you want.”

You shook your head and grabbed his hoodie again,”I don’t want to take things slow. We’ve lost enough time.”

He smiled relieved, grabbing your waist to pull you up against him. “God, I’m so glad you said that,” he grinned,”Because I fucking need you.”

His lips claimed yours in another kiss, this one demanding and hungry, and he backed you up against the door, moving his mouth from your lips to your neck, open mouthed kisses marking your skin until your eyes closed in a soft moan.

He kissed your jaw and brought his lips up to your ear, his voice suddenly lower than before,”Better open that door or I’m taking you right here, sweetheart.”

Your hand was shaking as you unlocked the door, Aegon’s hands firmly on your waist, pressing himself up against your back until you took his hand and pulled him up the stairs with you.

He waited patiently until you opened the door of your apartment, as soon as you were inside his hands were back on you, pulling you into his embrace. You hugged him back and for a moment everything stopped.

You’d missed him so much and now he was here, clinging to you as if you were the most precious thing in his entire life.

“Aegs,” you whispered, burying your face into the crook of his neck and breathing him in.

“I’m here, baby,” he soothed you, caressing your hair and hugging you tighter,”I’ll never leave you again, I promise.”

He cupped your cheek and leaned back to look into your eyes,”Wanna take this over to the couch?”

You shook your head and leaned into him, fingers digging into his shirt,”Not the couch…I need you in my bed.”

Aegon didn’t say another word as he followed you to your bedroom, his eyes never leaving you as he pushed you down onto the bed and kissed you, slow and deep, while his hands roamed all over your body, touching every little piece of you he’d missed so much.

He pulled down the straps of your dress and softly kissed your shoulder. ”You look so fucking gorgeous in this dress,” he whispered into your skin, pulling the fabric down even further to expose your breasts,”Fuck…I need you so bad, baby.”

His lips latched onto your breast, sucking softly while his hand massaged the other one. You moaned his name and grabbed at his shoulder, encouraging him to suck harder and your back arched off the bed when he did.

“Fuck,” you whined.

“That feel good?” he smiled.

“Hmm,” you bit your lip and moved your hand into his hair again, pulling him into another kiss.

His hand moved down your stomach to grab at the hem of your dress and push it up, exposing your panties to him. He was teasing you, caressing the inside of your thighs and your hips. Everywhere except where you ached for him the most.

“Please, Aegs,” you begged.

“Please what, my sweet girl?” he teased with that adorable smirk.

"Please touch me.”

He indulged you, moving his hand over your panties and teasing his fingers over your folds. Another satisfied grin on his face when he could feel you soaking through the thin fabric.

He kissed your neck while he moved two fingers over your clit, circling slowly.

“Take them off, please,” you begged.

“You’re so impatient,” Aegon purred, continuing to tease you though your panties while he whispered into your ear,”And your pussy's so fucking wet…she really missed me too, huh?”

“Please,” you whimpered, hating the fact that this was now the only English word you seemed to remember but you didn’t care, you just needed him.

Aegon kissed his way down your chest and then your stomach, lowering himself on the bed as he pushed your dress up even further.

“Where are you going?” you giggled.

”I think I have a few things to make up for, with her,” he grinned up at you and then pulled your panties down, shutting you up instantly and when his mouth landed on your clit you fell apart almost immediately.

“Oh fuck,” you whimpered, hands desperately clutching at the sheets as he started eating you out,”Aegon…oh my god…please…don’t stop…right there, yes…oh god…”

Every word and every moan slipping from your lips encouraged him to keep going and when he started fucking you with his tongue he could feel your entire body convulsing against him. He didn’t stop, holding you down while he pushed two fingers deep inside you, curling them just the way he knew you liked and pulling another orgasm from you. The way you kept crying out his name made his heart soar.

He licked you through your orgasm before moving his way up again, locking eyes with you.

“I think she forgives me,” he teased with a cheeky grin, licking his lips and then finding yours in a deep, filthy kiss.

“You’re so stupid,” you laughed into the kiss but reciprocated, tasting yourself on his tongue. After a while the kiss turned softer and sweeter and then he leaned back to look at you, a serious look in his eyes.

He grabbed your hand and held it up to his chest.

“Do you?” he then asked sweetly,”Forgive me?”

His voice was so soft and so sincere, even shaking a little as if he was afraid you would still say no and pull away from him in this moment. You were quick to nod your head and ease his worries,”I forgive you, Aegs.”

The relief flooding his features made you smile and he pressed his forehead against yours, making your heart beat uncontrollably fast when he whispered the next words.“I love you, sweetheart.”

You both stared at each other, no more hesitations on his face this time now that he finally gave into his feelings.

“I love you too, loser,” you whispered back with happy tears in your eyes, putting the biggest smile on his face.

“I love you,” he then repeated, putting soft kisses all over your jaw and then your neck,”Fuck, I love you.”

You both laughed and then you wrapped your arms around his neck to hold him close, bringing your lips up to his ear.”Can we fuck now? Please?”

Aegon nodded eagerly, quickly pushing his pants and boxers down to free his cock, the urgency suddenly overtaking you both. He teased you by dragging the head of his cock over your clit repeatedly, making you beg some more and then he was inside you, stretching your walls so perfectly you couldn't hold back your moans any longer.

His eyes met yours, holding your gaze as he slowly started thrusting.

“Keep looking at me,” he breathed into your mouth,”God…you look so beautiful like this…taking me so well, sweetheart…fuck…”

Your nails were digging into his shoulders when he started moving faster, hitting you deeper with every snap of his hips.

“Fuck,” he moaned,”Oh god, I won’t last, baby…it’s been too fucking long.”

“I know,” you nodded and whimpered,”It’s okay…let go…I’m close…I’m so close, Aegs…”

He kissed your neck, his pace picking up fast and it didn’t take long before he had you right there with him, sending you both over the edge in one of many orgasms that would follow that night.

***

Waking up with Aegon in your bed was the best morning of your life so far. His eyes were on you the moment you opened yours, finding him smiling adorably at you while he played with your hair.

“Morning, girlfriend,” he teased.

“Morning, boyfriend,” you grinned and turned on your side to face him,“Were you watching me while I was sleeping?”

He nodded softly, letting his thumb brush your cheek,“I was contemplating waking you up with a kiss, Sleeping Beauty style.”

You smiled warmly,“Why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t want to freak you out,” he explained while moving closer to you, one arm draped across your waist, pulling you into him,”Can I do it now?”

You nodded and he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss while his hand moved underneath your top to caress your back. Goosebumps erupted all over your skin at his touch and you put your arm around him to hug him back.

“I could get used to waking up like this every morning,” you sighed happily.

“Me too,” he smiled before leaning back to look at you, fingers tracing patterns over your lower back.“I love you so much,” he whispered softly and your heart melted again.

“I love you too, Aegs,” you caressed his neck and his hair.

“I’m nothing like the princes in those fairytales though,” he then pointed out while looking at you, insecurity clouding his beautiful blue eyes again.

You shrugged.”Fairytales are overrated. Besides, why would I need a prince when I have a whole king?” you teased with a smile and much to your relief Aegon laughed.

“Hmm, King Aegon does have a nice ring to it,” he then said, softer, and he leaned in to place another kiss on your lips.

“Just promise me one thing,” you asked,”No, wait, two things.”

“Anything,” Aegon whispered.

“That you won’t let anything stop you from loving me this time.”

He kissed your jaw, slowly, and then your neck,”I won’t,” he breathed against your skin,”I love you. Today and tomorrow and every day after, whatever happens, I love you, sweetheart.”

You smiled and bit your lip when his hands moved down to your hips, pulling you up against him, letting you feel his morning erection.

“What’s the other thing?” he asked before placing more kisses in your neck, making you melt into him.

“I’m forgetting,” you breathed and closed your eyes in a heavy sigh when you felt his tongue caress the skin just below your ear.

Aegon halted his affections for a moment to look at you,”What’s the other thing, sweetheart?”

You held his gaze for a moment before you spoke, softly,“That you’ll let me love you…and you’ll accept that I love you exactly as you are.”

“Flaws and all, huh?” he whispered quietly.

“They’re not flaws to me, Aegs. They’re you. And there is no part of you I won’t love.”

He softly nodded and looked away from you for a brief moment. When he looked back up there were tears in his eyes.

“And when you’re feeling low I want you to know you can tell me,” you added,”So I can love you a little harder on those days. Can you promise me that?”

“I will,” he whispered and he leaned close to bury his face into the crook of your neck, his hands warm on your back while his tears spilled on your skin,”I will, I promise, I will.”

You hugged him close, wrapping your entire body around him, knowing with all your heart and mind you would never let him slip through your fingers again. And Aegon was clinging to you in return as well, putting more soft kisses in your neck and on your jaw to finally return to your lips where he lingered a little longer.

“I love you,” he breathed into the kiss, and he couldn’t help but smile because the words came to him so easily now, just like breathing.

Loving you was the easiest thing in the world.

Letting himself be loved, that part was still very much a work in progress and probably would be for quite some time. But he was ready to try. And with every loving touch from your hands, every warm kiss and sweet affirming word from your lips Aegon was a little closer to loving himself as well.

#aegon x reader #aegon x you #sihtric x reader #sihtric x you #aegon smut #sihtric smut #hotd fanfic #the last kingdom fanfic #tom glynn carney fanfic #arnas fedaravicius fanfic #modern AU

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mintsalsa · 8 months

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relationship hcs — danse

a/n: yes fo4 in the lords year of 2023 bc i clearly havent gotten over this man in 8 years! 😀

(nsfw below cut!)

★ ! sfw

danse is an incredibly layered character - it would take him particularly long to develop feelings for someone and even longer for him to actually realize he's falling in love

even when he can't help but finally acknowledge the strange feeling in his chest everytime he's around you, he would most likely still play it off

because he's so inexperienced with relationships, even friendships, he believes he's simply grateful to you for sparing his life

it's tough for him to express this gratitude with words early on, but even then he always has this burning desire to simply do things for you?

whether that's improving or polishing your weapons while you're asleep or organizing your desk when you're gone

all he knows is that he wants to be close to you, to protect you, to serve you - after all, you were the one that gave his life purpose after he left the brotherhood

it's only when one of your mutual friends starts teasing him about it that he questions his feelings further - and it's like a switch flips in his brain

all of a sudden he can't look you in the eyes anymore

he gets so flustered and overwhelmed by these new emotions, convinced it must be inappropriate for him to be feeling this way

when you stand a little too close to him his brain short-circuits, his breathing becomes unsteady and all he can think about is how much he wants you even closer to him

he does awkward pauses and clears his throat a lot when you're talking

obviously, he's terrified of losing you - or worse, scaring you away - so he wouldn't ever be the one to make a move, no matter how much the emotions in his stomach threaten to boil over

so when you finally pick up on it - it's actually not that difficult, he's kind of obvious - he'd be so, so relieved at you taking the lead

when your feelings are out in the open and he grows used to the change in relationship, there's a lot of inconspicuous flirting and delicate teasing

he finds out that he really, really likes kissing you (it's even better in reality than what he dreamed it would be)

whenever your lips find his and your hands his chin and neck, his heart feels like it's melting in his chest

even though his hands are rough, all his touches are so, so soft, so loving - a stark contrast to the image of the soldier he used to be

he handles you like a piece of fine china, afraid you could break and leave him behind all by himself

danse finds purpose and joy in your happiness, your love - emotions he was scared would stay forever lost

★ ! nsfw

ngl i headcanon danse as demisexual with medium to low drive to be physically intimate

he's not familiar with intimacy, and only after he falls head over heels and has his first experiences with you does he realize how rewarding it can be

his focus lies on your pleasure first and foremost, always, he's absolutely more on the giving end

he loves watching your face while his fingers play with you, he loves hearing you, feeling your body shift in his lap

he's so mesmerized by everything about you that his heart threatens to burst out of his chest every time he hears your soft moans

really, there's little in the world that gives danse the same satisfaction as making you cum

not much dirty talk, he prefers to whisper soft praises down the side of your neck every once in a while

despite everything he can be somewhat of a tease sometimes - the only time he'll enjoy having any kind of power over you

always takes such good care of you after and holds you in his arms while you drift off to sleep

#fallout 4 #paladin danse #paladin danse x reader #paladin danse x sole survivor #fallout 4 companions #f: fo4 #c: danse #g: hcs #need him biblically...#but hes pixels :(

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shaniacsboogara · 16 days

Text

i think a lot of things i agree with are already being said about watcher tv, so instead of focusing on those, i'm going to try to highlight things i think need to be reiterated or haven't been discussed enough.

first of all, i've been a fan of watcher's content for a long time. i followed shane and ryan over to the network after unsolved ended, and since then have made a TON of incredible friends and memories because of their shows. to anyone at watcher reading this, i really hope you're doing alright. thank you for everything you've done to foster this incredible community. and to anyone here in tumblr who's followed me for my watcher content or to any of my mutuals, i hope you're doing as well as you can. drink some water, get outside, and make sure you're getting enough sleep. this has been a rough time for a lot of us, and understandably so.

obviously, watcher tv is a massive change, and everyone who feels upset or disappointed is extremely valid in feeling that way. however, the calibre of hate being sent to the watcher crew is kind of horrific. yes, this could turn out to be a bad business decision for them, but that does make them evil morally bankrupt capitalists who never actually cared about their fanbase in the first place??? honestly, i think this type of commentary is doing a disservice to everyone who's trying to discuss this situation from a genuine analytical standpoint. not only that, but these are real people??? sure, they're on the internet and have probably had people send hate comments their way before, but as a community there are so many more productive things we could be doing instead of tearing down the folks over at watcher.

it is disheartening for content you've enjoyed to suddenly be locked behind a paywall, especially if it's not something you'll be able to afford. i've seen a lot of people emphasizing that artists should be compensated for their art, and i think that definitely applies here, but that doesn't mean people don't have a right to be upset. the fandom community we've built here on tumblr is incredible, it's brought so many people together and overall been so positive, fun, and welcoming to be a part of, so it's understandable that a change threatening the stability of that fanspace would make people upset. i'm not happy about the possibility of the watcher fandom dissipating after this announcement, but i think it's highly likely. watcher TV has created a divide in the fandom, and no matter what it looks like after this is over, it won't be the same. what's going to happen when most people can't access watcher content anymore??? no matter what happens, being in this fandom was absolutely incredible while it lasted.

what's my overall take on the situation??? i don't know how this will turn out for them, i'm not sure the announcement was carried out in the best way (it was hyped up in a way i don't think it should've been, a slower lead up to this could've made it more digestible), i'm sad that a lot of people won't be able to enjoy content that used to mean so much to them, but if this is a business move they think they need to make, then think i understand that. i'm no business expert, i have no idea how this will work out, but i'm absolutely not manifesting their downfall. i think it's very important to discuss this in a civil manner, to critique and analyze the effects of this situation on both the community and the company, but letting that turn into blatant hate and threats to watcher employees is WAY TOO FAR.

these are just some of my thoughts. if you want me to clarify anything or know my thoughts on specific aspects of this situation, please don't be afraid to ask!!! my only request is that this post doesn't turn into a vessel for hating on anyone, whether that be watcher or anyone posting about the situation.

#there's also something to be said about the effects of parasocial relationships on this whole situation #watcher

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reinerispretty · 3 months

Text

your friend's boyfriend's best friend

(a reiner braun x reader modern au)

i've had this on ao3 for a bit but i wanted to make things more easily accessible for people on here! so first chapters of my fics will be posted to this account and if you'd like to continue reading, the link to the full fic on ao3 will be available at the bottom :)

SUMMARY:

Fresh out of a long-term relationship, you now need a place to live. Enter Reiner Braun, the timid, busy, and devastatingly attractive best friend of your friend's boyfriend. He's got a room to spare and doesn't mind cats, so you leap at the offer. Still healing and figuring yourself out, you're absolutely, positively, one-thousand percent certain nothing will happen between the two of you.

It all starts with you breaking up with Jean.

Well, ask any of your friends and they’ll say it was mutual, because that’s what you tell them. And maybe that’s what Jean thinks, too, and that’s fine for him and his healing process, but that isn’t the case. You were the one that broached the topic, that realized spending life with him was less like living with your soulmate and more like having a roommate (that you frequently had sex with). There never seemed to be anything to talk about anymore, and the two of you used to talk about everything . You both became complacent.

Plus, you aren’t an idiot. You know that love changes overtime, that things don’t always have to be as exciting as they used to be. That’s why you spent a few months putting a lot of thought into it, just to make sure. What you found was that the two of you weren’t quite looking at each other like you used to. That you weren’t excited to come home and tell him about your day, but rather indifferent. That you didn’t wake up in the middle of the night, look over, and think about how much you loved him.

So you broke up with Jean. And truthfully, it went easier than you expected. Once you voiced your concerns, he’d realized he’d been feeling similarly. Which sort of made you sad, but you digress.

(There’s also the matter of him almost definitely being in love with your best friend. But that’s a topic to be broached at a later date.)

So Jean sends out emails to get your name taken off the lease and you’re frantically texting everyone you know, asking if they have a couch you can crash on (and a garage to put everything in). He’s offered to let you stay, because he’s kind and would never put you (or your cat Toast) out on the street, but you’d rather die than do that. It would only make things weirder. After all, you’re adamant to maintain a friendship with him. He was your friend before you started dating, and a rather good one at that, so you’ll do anything you can to keep your breakup resentment-free. And crashing at your ex’s place when you aren’t having crazy toxic make-up sex is incredibly embarrassing. To you, at least.

Eren lets you crash at his and Armin’s place for a few nights, but their pull-out couch isn’t a permanent solution. Out of the roughly fifty-million texts you send, only one person responds saying they know of someone who’s renting a room. You don’t think Annie Leonhart has ever been considered an angel, but she’s your angel for telling you about her boyfriend’s best friend who is looking for a roommate.

You meet up for coffee to talk about it. Your freshman year of college the two of you had been placed together randomly, and you’d gotten along well enough that neither of you felt the need to room with anyone else. She’s clean, quiet, and horrifically honest, so if she doesn’t think this place is the right fit for you, she’ll let you know.

“I think you’ll get along,” She says as she sips her matcha. You stare at her with wide eyes. You didn’t actually expect those words to come out of her mouth. Annie’s standards are as high as a skyscraper. “Reiner’s low maintenance.”

“You make him sound like a pet,” You say, and Annie hums, pinching off a piece of your blueberry muffin.

“Not unlike it. He sticks to a very strict routine. Eats all three meals at the same time every day. I’m sure if you left out a treat or toy for him every once in a while, he’d appreciate it.”

You roll your eyes, tapping your fingers against your coffee cup. “How long has Bert known him?”

Bertholdt is Annie’s boyfriend. He’s the tallest person you’ve ever seen. Upon meeting him, you’d told her to “climb him like a tree.” She’d listened.

You like Bertholdt for her. He makes her soft, in a good way. He looks at her like the stars are in her eyes.

“Since we were kids.”

“Do you know him?”

“Barely.”

“What’s he like?”

“He’s nice. Little bit of a meathead sometimes. He goes to the gym a lot but he isn’t that annoying about it.”

You smile at what Annie deems appropriate to note. “So he isn’t a creep?”

She glares at you, but it’s friendly. You’d know, you’ve been on the receiving end of her not-so-friendly glares plenty of times. “I wouldn’t let you stay with a creep.” She takes another piece of your blueberry muffin as penance. “He used to live with Marcel, but then Marcel fucked off to go study plants in Australia, so his younger brother moved in to help Reiner with the rent.” Annie sighs. “Everyone knew that wouldn’t last long.”

“Why?”

“Porco and Reiner have never gotten along. I don’t know why they thought it was a good idea to live together.” You’re trying to keep up with all the names. You and Annie come from separate hometowns, not to mention she’s an inherently private person, so the only people you really know from her life are her dad and Bertholdt. “This is all to say that Reiner needs someone else to help cover the rent.”

You sip your coffee, bracing yourself to ask the question that’s been on your mind ever since you found out about this Reiner Braun . “Is he up for living with a girl?”

Annie raises a lazy eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t he be?”

“Well, I don’t know. Some people get weird about it. Like, they think it’s gonna stop them from hooking up with people or something.” The last thing you want is some crazy person banging down your door.

“I’ve already told him a little about you. He’s fine with it.”

It feels like a thousand pounds have been lifted off your chest. Smiling brightly, you say, “Alright, deal!”

Moving in with Reiner doesn’t go how moving in is supposed to go. You don’t visit the property first and make sure it’s all up to snuff before signing the lease. You haven’t even met Reiner to see if he’s a good match as a roommate. The most you’ve spoken to him are a few texts from when Annie gave you his number to discuss move-in related things. He’s a very straightforward texter, ending his sentences in periods that make you think he’s mad at you.

“So you don’t even know who this guy is?” Eren asks as his fingers drum against the steering wheel to the beat of the song playing through the speakers. Although he’d snatched up the aux, he’d played one of your playlists, something with a lot of emo throwbacks. (He’s always playing your music because he’s too lazy to go hunting for songs of his own.) When you’d requested help moving out, he’d leapt at the offer and volunteered his brother’s truck so you wouldn’t have to rent one. Eren’s been a great friend to you during the breakup, but you think it’s largely because of how much he despises Jean. You think they would be great friends if Eren wasn’t such an asshole most of the time.

“Never met him,” You confirm. “But he’s friends with Annie and Bertholdt, so I’m not worried. Plus I stalked him on the internet to make sure he wasn’t a psycho.”

“What if he is a psycho and is just really good at hiding it?”

“Hmm,” You pretend to consider. “I guess I’ll just die.” The look Eren gives you is full of annoyance. You know he’s worried about you. He’s so protective over all his friends. “Would it make you feel better if you met him? He won’t be there but he said he’d be back sometime this evening.”

“Will you buy dinner?”

“If you’re asking me to thank you for your services in food rather than actual money, then yes.”

Eren thinks for a moment as he pulls down the street– your new street. “Yeah, I’ll stay. Make sure his gym bag isn’t full of chopped up body parts.” And you roll your eyes.

Your GPS alerts your arrival as Eren slows to a stop in front of the house. It’s a split level with pale blue siding and grey shutters. It sticks out like a sore thumb among the mini-mansions in the neighborhood.

Eren backs into the driveway to make it easier to unload everything. As he unties the bungee cords that keep all of your things contained, you head to the planter where Reiner said he’d leave the spare key. Your key, now. You find it just barely covered by dirt and unlock the door to your new home.

It’s always strange walking into someone’s home and finding out what it smells like. Reiner’s house doesn’t smell bad, just different from what you’re used to. It smells older, and like that one cinnamon apple Walmart candle boys always buy to cover any unappealing scents.

You give everything a once-over as you try to locate your room. You think it could use a dusting, but otherwise it looks relatively clean. By your standards, anyway.

Your room is in the upstairs half of the house, to the right and down the hall. There’s a bathroom on your way, as well as a few other doors you’ll have to explore later. You push open your bedroom door and are relieved to find it’s spacious and in good shape. Reiner had sent you a few pictures of the place, but he hadn’t taken the right angles and you were too nervous to ask for them.

Running back outside, you start helping Eren carry your things in. You start with the big stuff, like your desk and bookshelf. It’s awkward, maneuvering those things up the steps, but the two of you make it work.

Your cat, Toast, meows unhappily from inside his carrier as you move smaller boxes into your room. You don’t want to risk him running through the door as you unload your things, so he must remain contained for the time being. As you set down a box of your books, you give him a scratch between his ears through the carrier bars. “Just a little longer!” You promise.

By the time you’re done, the sun hangs low in the sky, and you still don’t have a bed. Eren leaves to pick up your bedframe and mattress from Ikea so you can get Toast’s things set up. You want to keep him in your room, just while he adjusts to a new home. He’ll be sad when he figures out Jean isn’t here, and you’d rather he not tear up the furniture of the nice man who lets the two of you stay here.

You set up his litterbox, his water fountain and food dishes, and his cat trees in your room. Once that’s all done, you undo his carrier lock and let him roam free. Toast bumps into your hand immediately before carefully exploring every inch of your new room.

You’re grateful Reiner’s been so accommodating, but you wonder if part of him feels like he has to be because you’re his best friend’s girlfriend’s friend. When you texted him asking whether or not it was alright to have Toast, he’d said, “ That’s fine. ” You don’t think that sounds like someone who’s thrilled to have animals in their home.

The screen door slams shut and you assume it’s Eren. Hopping to your feet, you carefully slide out of your room and shut Toast in. You call out as you walk down the hall, “I was thinking of pizza for tonight, but I know you said you wanted to try that new Thai place–” You round the corner and find who you can only assume is Reiner coming up the stairs.

He’s tall, much taller than you or Eren, and for some reason you hadn’t anticipated that from the grainy picture of him Annie sent. You suppose you should’ve known, considering Bertholdt had been standing at his side, and he was still a few inches taller than Reiner. He’s also, unfortunately, much more attractive than you’d been expecting. (The picture was taken at a wedding reception, so both Bertholdt and Reiner were incredibly sweaty looking.)

Annie’s gym bro assessment of him had been accurate. He’s broad and obviously muscular, if the way his button-up grips his biceps is any indication. He’s blond, with light eyes, and some stubble along his jawline. Reiner is handsome .

(Later, you’d hiss at Annie from the privacy of your bedroom, “You didn’t tell me he was hot!” )

Your face burns as you realize a lot of seconds have passed and you’ve just been standing there, silently ogling him. “Oh! Hi! I’m (Y/N).” You extend your hand and he drops his laptop bag at the top of the steps to shake it.

“Nice to finally meet you in person. I’m Reiner.”

Meeting new people is awkward enough without the added stress of them being nice to look at. You clear your throat. “Sorry, I thought you were my friend. He ran out to pick up my bed frame for me and I promised him I’d order us dinner.”

“I’ve tried that new Thai place,” Reiner says. “It’s good.”

You nod again. What are you, a bobblehead? “I’ll let him know it has at least one solid review. Would you, um, would you want me to order you anything? As a thank you for letting me stay here?”

Reiner smiles. “No, it’s alright. I’m actually gonna head to the gym in a bit. Thanks, though.”

You stop yourself from nodding again. Right, strict routine. “Okay, well, once I’m more settled in, I’ll definitely be baking you something to let you know how much I appreciate it.”

“You really don’t have to. I mean, you’re helping me out, too.” You wave a hand.

“Barely.” He’s saved you from the embarrassment of crashing with your ex for god knows long until you find a place of your own. Or worse, moving back in with your mother. You think you might owe him for the rest of your life.

The truck rumbles into the driveway and you’ve never been more grateful for Eren’s timing, because it’s either you keep standing here nodding like an idiot or retreat to your room. “That’s him!” You say, and Reiner moves out of your way so you can get down the stairs.

“They brought out the wrong order like three fucking times,” Eren grumbles as he hops out of the truck. “I had to physically write your name down for them to find you.”

You smile at him and say in a sing-song voice, “Thanks, Eren!”

“Whatever,” Your friend says. “Let’s get this over with. I’m starving.”

“Reiner said that new Thai place you’ve been wanting to try is good,” You tell him as he undoes the truck bed door. Eren’s eyebrows raise.”

“He’s here?” You nod.

“Got back a few minutes ago. I was so embarrassed, I thought it was you coming in. I offered to buy him dinner too, but he’s heading to the gym.”

Eren clicks his tongue. “You’ve gotta stop offering handouts.”

“You’re so dramatic. Buying food isn’t going to make me go bankrupt.”

“You guys need any help?” Reiner’s voice is right behind you. You yelp, hand flying to your chest as your heart pounds against it. Eren snickers as your face heats up.

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Eren says, just as you’re winding up to tell him it isn’t necessary. “This one has noodles for arms.”

“I do not , you just walk too fast!” Huffing, you turn to Reiner. “This is Eren. Eren, this is Reiner.”

“Nice to meet you.” Reiner moves around the truck to help him pull out the boxes that hold your bed frame pieces and mattress.

“You really don’t have to,” You say. “I don’t want to keep you from your plans.” Eren gives you a look that says, Let the big strong man do the work for you, idiot.

Reiner shrugs. “It won’t take long,” He assures.

“Why don’t you go inside and get Toast out of the way so we can bring this in?” Eren suggests. You narrow your eyes at him, feeling as though you’re being dismissed.

“I can’t decide if this is anti-feminist or very feminist. But fine. Don’t break my shit, Jaeger.”

You prop the door open and scoop Toast into your arms to keep him from tripping the guys. You try to keep yourself busy so you don’t look completely useless (and so you don’t stare at the way Reiner’s arms move when he brings in your bed frame and mattress. Instead you choose to find setting up your internet to be the most interesting thing in the world.)

“Thanks so much, Reiner,” You tell him as he leaves your room. He gives you a smile over his shoulder.

“Not a problem. Make yourself at home.” With that, he leaves the house entirely, and you shut your door so you can set Toast down. When you turn, you find Eren glaring at you.

“What, I don’t get any thanks?” He asks, wiping sweat from his forehead.

The two of you decide to take a break to order food from the Thai restaurant. Once it’s delivered, you’re hesitant to sit down at the kitchen table and eat. Eren, however, is not as he yanks a chair back and tears into the take-out bag.

“It’s your house too,” He reminds you. Carefully, you sit.

“I know, I just don’t know if he has any rules or specific ways he wants things done.”

Eren looks at you like you’re stupid. “Rules about eating at a table?”

“I know I’m being ridiculous,” You mumble. “But I just want to be as little of a nuisance as possible.”

“Did Jean make you feel like that?” You’re surprised he asks this. He’s been very good about not not bringing up Jean all day, but you suppose he just wants to make sure your ex never made you feel less-than. You don’t doubt that if he had any actual reason, Eren wouldn’t think twice about beating the actual fuck out of Jean.

“No, not at all,” And that’s the truth. “Living with Jean was easy. I just know it’s not always going to be like that with other people.”

Eren grunts as he starts digging into his food. “If I had a room to spare, you know you’d be living with me right now.”

You smile at him. “I know. Thanks.”

Your day with Eren is far from over, because once you’re both done eating and you’ve rested for a proper amount of time, he helps you build your bed. You’d insisted you could do it on your own and he hadn’t believed you, which you’re grateful for, because the wooden pieces are excruciatingly heavy. The entire process puts a strain on your friendship. You even have to Facetime Armin to settle an argument about measurements, but by the end of it you’re both laughing as you try your best to get the fitted sheet on your mattress.

Eren takes you back to Jean’s, where you’d left your car that morning. You start to feel oddly emotional. You aren’t sure if it’s because you’re leaving for good, or if it’s because you’re gearing up for the first night by yourself in a long time.

“Call me if you need anything,” He tells you as he walks to your car door.

“Yes, Mom,” You press the unlock button, but before you can get in Eren gives you one of his rare hugs.

You’ve known him since you were itty-bitty, having first met when the two of you were in diapers at some Mommy and Me class. Your mothers became fast friends, which meant that as toddlers and kids, you were always together. You don’t think there’s a single childhood photo of yours that doesn’t have Eren somewhere in it.

But then his mom died, and your parents divorced, and instead of working through all of that together, you grew apart. You were a reminder of every moment you’d shared with his mother, and thus you magnified her absence. And you shut down, because your father moved out and your mother started her long trail of shitty boyfriends and the one person you wanted to comfort you was dead. You don’t think there’s a word for acquaintances that know each other like the back of their palm, but all throughout high school the two of you passed in the hallways as if you didn’t have a decade of history.

Fate decided it had enough of this at the start of your freshman year of college when it placed you in a room right across from Eren’s. You both felt like you were little fish in big ponds, and although your friendship started again for the sake of convenience, you stayed friends because you cared about each other.

You hug him back and try hard not to cry.

Reiner’s still out when you get home, so you turn on music and finish unpacking your necessities. There are still a lot of things you need to buy for yourself. You hadn’t realized how much of the furniture was Jean’s. You’re using stacked shoe boxes as a nightstand.

The one thing you’re happy about in all of this is that for the first time in your life, you have your own bathroom. You clean it because it makes you feel better if you’ve wiped things down yourself, and then fill it with your toiletries. Once you’re done, you take a well-deserved shower and wash the sweat from your hair and body.

Drying off, you wrap a towel around yourself and head back to your room. You’re surprised to find Reiner in the hall as well, hanging his jacket in the coat closet. The two of you both stare at each other, wide-eyed and keenly aware that you’re a single piece of fabric away from being naked . Face hot, you turn on your heel and walk quickly into your bedroom.

You’ll have to buy a robe.

liked the first chapter? keep reading here!

#writing #reiner braun x reader #reiner braun #aot #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan x reader #eren jaeger #jean kirstein

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mrsnancywheeler · 2 months

Note

I can’t stop thinking about how awful Finnick would feel after he finds out his sweet girl had heard the rumors he had spread, and that she began to question herself.

She was his whole world, his ocean, and not only did he rip out her heart, but he tore it to shred right after.

He never meant for it to get to her! He was trying to keep up appearances! It didn’t even last long, he stopped soon after because of the guilt he felt. Guilt for even pretending to be interested in another but after he learned his words got back to her? That was a new type of guilt.

-🌾anon

he's so young and he doesn't want people to know that he's in fact hopelessly in love with his sweet girl, not when he can't have her. and there has to be an explanation on why she can't even hang around anymore so he does what his brain thinks of. he lies about why the breakup happens, pins it on her wanting too much, needing too much exclusively, being the type of girl who needs all or nothing constantly. he doesn't think about it getting back to her, he thinks about how he could be perceived, that if people still view him as in love with her then it could still be a threat.

but then he hears that she knows, he knows she knows and it ruins his life. because he doesn't mean it, never will, and he knows how his sweet girl internalizes things and how much it will really affect her. and it's painful that he can't even say to her it's not true, that he didn't mean it, so he has to watch when her longing glances from afar are a little bit hurt.

finnick constantly has women who want something from him around, who want to take up the coveted spot of being his girl, which no on else will ever really be. and to keep up the appearances he at least allows a couple of them to just spend time with just him, walking the markets, swimming, and they're nice for the most part. sweet, kind girls but they just don't match up to what he feels so unwaveringly for her. and he can't do it for long when her glances are even more hurt, like she's wounded puppy he keeps kicking. it's not fair to being them around where you can see, but he's teenage boy who wants to take any excuse to peek at the girl he loves. he officially can't do it anymore when the mutual friends tell him about things she's said or how she's seemed.

"finnick, of course she's upset. it's been a few months and now adva's all over you, plus the things you said, you gotta stop asking everyone how she is."

he knows he's just constantly kicking you while you're down and hates himself for it. but I imagine when they're finally together again he'd bring it up because it's eaten him alive for so long.

"all the things I said and did all those years ago, I never meant it and was so dumb, and I hate that I hurt you more. I'm so sorry, so sorry."

"finn, it's okay. I knew we still loved each other"

"but did it hurt you?"

"it doesn't matter, I love you, Finn"

a people pleasing queen for that one but yeah really the whole thing was just so tumultuous and difficult, it broke him so much.

#wanda 💋#finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x y/n #finnick odair #the lakes #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair angst #finnick odair x reader fluff #finnick odair x you #the river #🌾 anon

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cloudcountry · 1 year

Text

almost.

Genre/Tropes: Childhood Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Royalty AU, Forbidden Love.

Summary: You've fallen for your personal guard, childhood friend, and closet confidante, Deuce Spade. Except you're royalty, and royalty do not marry lowly guards.

Author's Comments: WHEREVER I WRITE FOR DEUCE ITS LIKE 4K WORDS. love that guy, he's so neat. also this was inspired by ceroro's delighted guidance which is a royal au fic with rook!! i wrote this in like a day so this is unedited LMAO

~~~~~

You often fell victim to many bizarre dreams.

They usually centered around the legends your subjects kept alive over centuries. Tales of monsters in the dark parts of the forest and shadows that would swallow you whole. Stories that often frightened you, as the world of Twisted Wonderland was an unpredictable one. There was no telling when something like that would happen, and you would be in danger because of it. Thankfully it wasn’t your responsibility to worry anymore, though your previously self-centered worry now had another target.

Deuce Spade, your childhood friend and appointed guard.

He used to be able to run into your room whenever you screamed and comfort you by waving his hands around and yelling about how he’d beat up anyone that dared to harm you. His mother would often scold him for his violent behavior, but if nothing else it did make you feel safer. Eventually, you were even able to persuade your father to place his family’s room right across from yours, where you and Deuce could hang out whenever you wanted.

If only things could still be that way.

Instead of having dreams about monsters in the woods, you have dreams of faceless royalty vying for your hand and towering over you, their faces splitting open in sickeningly sweet grins as they grab at you. You always seem to wake up in a cold sweat from those, clutching your blankets to your chest like a lifeline. Tonight is one of those nights.

You slip out of bed and throw the bed sheets to the side, the slippers resting at the foot of your bed shielding your feet from the cold. It isn’t hard to navigate your room in the almost complete darkness, and you reach the door in no time flat. The guard currently posted outside your door is not Deuce Spade, but he doesn’t question it when you creep across the hall so he’s fine enough. He just follows you, stopping outside the Spade family’s door without a single indicator as to what he’s thinking.

It doesn’t matter if he thinks I’m pathetic. Deuce doesn’t. His opinion is the only one I care about.

You twist the doorknob and the door swings open. It isn’t safe, you think, but you know people like Deuce and his mother can’t afford to have the amount of protection that you do. The polished wood groans as you step into the room, and you freeze with a wince. Deuce is a notoriously light sleeper, and you just woke him up.

The door swings shut behind you, and shuts with a soft click.

You’re left in darkness.

“Deuce?” you whisper, creeping towards the edge of his bed and crouching down to his level, “Deuce, it’s me.”

“My Liege...why are you awake?” he mumbled, sitting up in bed and rubbing his eyes, “Did you have another dream?”

“Mhm.” you hum, grasping at the corner of the bedsheets and tugging them off his body, “Let me in. I can’t sleep in my room.”

Deuce sighs and complies, scooting over so you have room. You plop down beside him and feel a wave of warmth wash over you. He takes extra care in tucking you in but turns around so his back is facing you once he’s done making you comfortable. You feel a stab of rejection in your chest but try not to dwell on it.

His duty is not to care about you.

“Goodnight, My Liege.” he whispers, the sound insignificant to him but worth more than a thousand diamonds to you.

“Yes, goodnight Deuce.” you say, shutting your eyes.

It’s disappointing that the distance between you hasn’t changed, even though you snuck across the hall for him.

The next morning you wake up early when Deuce has already slipped out of bed to begin his rounds. You blink slowly, wishing you could have savored sleeping with him a little bit longer. A frantic knocking on the door spurs you awake, and Deuce’s mother rushes to answer it. It’s the guard that covers your late night shift, and by the look on his face, he'd been searching frantically for you. You almost feel bad.

You smile at Deuce’s mother and thank her for letting you stay over so often, but she just shakes her head and bows to you. If the guard wasn’t here, you know full well she would have swept you into her arms and pressed a kiss to the crown of your head.

You’re convinced Deuce’s mom is the greatest woman alive.

You exit the safe haven you’ve built up over the years, stepping back into your royal chambers. There’s only so much you can do to hide your exhaustion when you see a few handmaidens and a tailor standing in front of your giant full-length mirror.

Frankly, it’s disturbing how prophetic your dreams can be sometimes.

As the handmaidens talk, it occurs to you that your father must have announced a ball to be held in honor of something or other (not that he ever needs a reason to party anyways, as he will always find a way to throw a party more extravagant than the last.) There’s no doubt in your mind that many suitors from neighboring kingdoms will come to vie for your hand, and it doesn’t matter if your eyes are locked onto one of your guards or not because love is politics in royalty.

There’s a handmaiden currently fluttering around you, and she’s assisting the tailor your father called over to fix an outfit for you. Even though you resent the idea of participating, you can’t help but admire the fabrics that you’ll be wearing for this event. You can’t admire them freely though, because it just so happens that right now is when the late-night guard switches with the early-morning one, and that early-morning guard is none other than Deuce Spade. To make matters worse, because of the guests in your room, he’s stationed inside (which wouldn’t be so bad if you were alone, but if that was the case he would never enter just because.) The thought of him seeing you in all this gaudy fabric makes you feel shameful, even if they are beautiful swatches.

“Oh, My Liege...” one of the handmaidens sighs, clasping her hands in front of her chest as she looks at you adoringly, “You’re going to look so lovely! Everyone will be tripping over their feet to earn a dance with you!”

You don’t look at Deuce. You don’t think you can right now.

“Oh, you think so?” you say mildly, absentmindedly continuing the conversation.

She nods a little too enthusiastically, and you hold back a sigh. Why is everyone so eager to marry you off to the first royal heir that comes knocking on your door?

“Oh, absolutely My Liege!” she beams, her round cheeks turning pink with pride, “I’ve been working for your father for a long time, I’m certain he’ll establish the best future for you!”

Economically, maybe. But emotionally? His understanding is lacking.

“I’m delighted that he’s going such lengths for me. Really, I’m spoiled.” you say through clenched teeth, and you hope your grimace passes for a smile.

Judging by the way the handmaiden is nodding vigorously with hums of approval flooding from your mouth, you’re pretty sure you’ve nailed it.

It’s so hard to ignore Deuce like he’s just another guard, like he isn’t the only one in this palace you can trust. Most of what occurs here is for appearances, but he’s never cared about that sort of thing. Even when you fell in the mud or scraped your knees or got a papercut he never scolded you for being out of line or not acting like royalty. There was no speech about you being the next ruler, he just fixed you up and vowed to protect you better next time. You always thought that was funny when you were a kid, but now you yearn for those days.

Things were so much better back then.

Brow furrowing with sorrow, you can’t help but look at Deuce in the mirror.

Your breath gets caught in your throat when your eyes unexpectedly lock with a beautiful pair that look just like the ocean on a sunny day. He’s looking at you.

Your opinion is the only one that matters is what you try to convey to him using only your pleading gaze. I don’t care what the other royals think is pretty or what my father thinks or even the handmaidens. I just want you to think I’m lovely.

You don’t know if he gets the message.

♠️

The ball is in full swing, and you feel like you might pass out.

You put in a formal request for Deuce Spade to be your bodyguard for the event, and you’re glad it was granted. Your mind is running a mile a minute not because you want to impress the dazzling royalty that are spinning around the palace’s ballroom in dresses and suits that would blind a man, but because you keep trying to come up with excuses to leave with Deuce. You don’t want to be here and he knows it, but he can’t do anything about it.

“Oh, I’m so warm.” you sigh loudly, and you feel a sense of accomplishment when Deuce snorts quietly beside you, “I must take a break, I’m sorry Prince Rosehearts.”

“That’s quite alright.” the young boy bows, looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here as who you can only assume to be his mother is breathing down his neck, “Take your time, you highness.”

You wave, forcing a smile as you make your way to the gardens. A spike of irritation stabs you at the base of your throat when another prince jumps in your way, his expression bright and happy. He immediately starts yapping about how nice the festivities are as his companion stares into space with a harsh glare. You shiver and pray that glare will never be directed at you tonight.

“Kalim, I’m sure they want to rest.” the boy beside him says flatly, “Why don’t you go sample their drinks, since you’ve already had your fill of their food?”

Wow. That’s the first time you’ve seen a prince and his companion with such a close relationship. They must be childhood friends.

Just like you and Deuce, and yet not like you two at all.

“Oh! That’s a good idea, Jamil!” he laughs, waving goodbye to you with a flimsy bow, “I’ll see you later, your highness!”

You grimace and wave back, hoping that’s not the man your father will have you marry. He seems to be far too much to handle and not quite hard-working enough.

Or maybe you just need to stop comparing every man you see to Deuce.

With the Asim heir out of the way, you continue to the gardens without another interruption. Your shoulders sag with barely masked relief as the flowering bushes come into view. They’re the same bushes you fell into far too many times in your childhood, and the same bushes Deuce and his mother had to fish you out of.

“Aren’t these flowers so pretty?” you ask, slotting a stem between your ring and middle finger. You cup it with reverence, as it’s one of the only tangible things you have from a better time. One of the only things you were allowed to touch.

You look over at Deuce.

“Yeah, they are.” he sighs, kneeling next to you with a soft smile, “They always did remind me of you.”

Your heart flutters in your chest at his words, and you feel your face heating up. There was nothing any of those royals could give you that would ever take your heart back from the boy in front of you. You turn your head to face him, staring into those deep blue eyes. He stares back, a pink flush steadily growing darker on his cheeks. You wet your lips and lean a bit closer because this moment is right, you two are alone, and you don’t think you’ll ever get this chance again.

He stands up and clears his throat. Your approach stalls halfway, and you feel as though you were just doused in icy cold water.

“I’m sorry, My Liege.” he mumbled, avoiding your questioning gaze with bright red cheeks, “I...I can’t. It’s improper.”

“Deuce?” you whisper, the sound so weak and pathetic that you hate yourself for it.

“Um...My Liege, please get up. It’s...not fit for royalty to be crouched on the ground like that.” he says, the words sounding so wrong on his tongue.

It doesn’t change the fact that he said them.

“Deuce...do you hate me?” you ask, shakily rising to your knees, “You’re always so distant when we used to be so close, and when I climbed into bed with you last night you didn’t even look at me before you fell asleep. Please just tell me if there’s nothing there because I don’t think I can stand to have this uncertainty surrounding us.”

You’re also certain that a broken heart would make it even worse for you.

“I can’t let...feelings get in the way of protecting you-”

Whose feelings?

“-because you’re...My Liege, and it’s my duty to protect you-”

I want to be more!

“-so I can’t act...I...I’m sorry.”

“Can’t act on what?” you persist, clasping your hands over your heart as if that will protect it.

“I can’t say.” Deuce looks away, shifting uncomfortably on the spot.

It doesn’t stop you from pushing.

“Why not? You used to say exactly how you felt when we were kids. Does being royalty make it that difficult...?” you take a step back, braced for the worst.

“It does, My Liege.” he confesses, and a sickening feeling wells up in your stomach.

Your heart shatters in your chest.

Your head is spinning as you stumble away from Deuce with a grimace on your face, unable to focus on anything except for the mixture of emotions you feel.

“I...I need to think.” you mumble, stumbling over yourself as you turn on your heel and start to run.

“My Liege!” Deuce yells after you, taking off behind you.

“Don’t follow me! That’s an order!” you cry out, throwing yourself around a tree trunk and through a patch of briars. Your precious clothing was torn in seconds, the fabric catching and yanking on the thorns.

You kept running.

Deuce’s footsteps were still trailing you, but he hadn’t caught you yet. You wished he was following you because he was worried, not because it was his duty to keep you safe. You wished you two could still have fun together. You wished he cared about you like he used to. You wished you could spend your days with him and his mother inside his room, playing silly games and eating those delicious chicken sandwiches she made.

You wished you could be a Spade.

A loud crunch is the last thing you hear before you go plummeting into a creek, your formal wear doing nothing to protect you from the shocking cold. A sharp pain travels up your ankle and you curse whatever divine force made you sprain it.

You are suddenly keenly aware of every sound within these woods. the slight moment of a branch on your left, the whispering of the tree’s leaves on your right, and the skittering sound of leaves billowing around the woods. A sudden fear overtakes you, a foreign emotion that you never had to face due to your upbringing.

“Deuce?” you call out, feeling like an injured child again, “Deuce!”

“My Liege!” he calls back, and you feel relief rushing through you when he bursts through the greenery hiding you from view.

Your previous heartbreak is immediately forgotten when his expression of pure fear melts into relief. He splashes towards you without a care in the world for his pristine uniform and gathers you up in his arms with one swoop. You gasp as you’re crushed against him, his hand cradling the back of your head like he’s never planning on letting you go.

“Shit, don’t ever do that again. I’m sorry I hurt you that much. I thought I was saying the right things and that I was protecting you, but-” he gasps for breath, holding you closer and closer until there’s no space left between your bodies, “Fuck. Please, never do that again.”

“Deuce.” you sob, feeling the tears roll down your cheeks before you can stop them, “It’s okay. I was the one acting like a child. I think I’m just so used to getting what I want that when I can’t have you I...”

You don’t say anything. You can’t find the words, but Deuce knows. He understands.

“You should know that you’re precious to me.” he murmurs, a forbidden confession that you know he could never make in the palace, “Nothing will ever change that. Even if I wasn’t your guard, I’d still want to protect you as much as I can. I want to be better for you.”

“I don’t want to leave here yet.” you beg, clinging to his uniform, “Please, can we stay here for a while longer?”

His expression softens even more at your plea, and Deuce allows himself to squeeze you. It’s a tender gesture that sends your heart into a frenzy again.

“Of course.” he murmurs, and it’s then that you realize how close he is to you.

“Deuce.” you whisper, leaning in again, hoping against all hope that this is the right moment, “Can I...kiss you?”

He sucks in a shaky breath at your request, but this time he doesn’t pull away. You wait patiently, for a few beats, staring into his eyes as the creek’s chill helps to minimize the heat of your face.

“My Liege...” he furrows his brow, mouth curving downwards in a frown, “I can’t.”

“Please. Please, Deuce. I want to kiss you.” you mirror his expression.

“I do too.” he whispers, flinching at his own words, “I want to kiss you so much. I want to kiss you all the time.”

“Then please.” you cry, every cell in your body desperate for just one kiss, “Please.”

Deuce sighs, but you can see his composure breaking.

He whispers your name—your actual name, not My Liege or your highness, just your name and it’s the most beautiful whisper of your name you think you’ll ever hear and his mouth slots against yours.

You gasp, pushing against him to get more and more of him because this is a fleeting moment and you know you'll probably never get to do this again.

You will never get to kiss Deuce Spade again.

He presses a hand against your lower back and holds you close, the other one still cradling your head. He’s leaning in too, kissing you just as desperately as you’re kissing him, and just that fact alone has a joyful lightness filling your heart. You feel like you could fly right now and take Deuce with you away from the palace and your responsibilities and the title that keeps you two apart.

It’s over too soon.

♠️

You’re convinced your father didn’t need to scold you as much as he did. Even though Deuce didn’t want you to, you still took the blame for what happened. Your father would have thrown him and his mother out if you hadn’t, and you don’t know how you would live if Deuce wasn’t around.

The memory of the kiss is still floating around in your head, and it still makes you feel just as light as it did when it happened. You swear your guard used some sort of magic on you because your brain is entirely captivated by him.

Though, you suppose with a giggle, that is nothing new.

Your joy doesn’t last long though, as memories of what happened after the kiss creep into your head.

“I hate this distance between us.” you said as you trailed a hand down his cheek, “I just want to be close to you. I want to be your best friend and your closest confidante and...I want to marry you, even. I want to be with you forever.”

“My Liege, you can’t marry a guard.” he protested, and your heart ached at the return of honorifics, “Why would you want to do such a thing?”

“You know, you try too hard to stick to the rules. You rarely did that in our childhood.” you huffed, “I want to marry you because I love you. Surely you knew that?”

“That’s why I can’t marry you My Liege.” he sighed and looked at you with such sorrow that it broke your heart again, “I need you to have the approval of the people and to find a husband. I need...I need to be better for you and my mother. I need to follow my duties so neither of you get hurt again. I’m sorry.”

You try to bring back the happy memory of the kiss, but your mood has already soured.

And so you greet your handmaiden halfhearted as she rushes you into your bathroom. She's chattering on and on about how dreadful it is that your clothes got ruined, but that you still look stunning no matter what. You say nothing. She scrubs and scrubs and you try to wipe the memory of those hurtful, honest words out of your mind to no avail. You’re relieved that your father sent all the guests home early because of your little “stunt,” as he called it. At least now you don’t have to converse with royals who could never hold you or care for you or kiss you like Deuce Spade does.

Dinner is spent in silence as your father croons about how lucky it was that you weren’t hurt, since there are many wild animals on the castle grounds and oh, by the way, did you hear about his most recent hunting expedition? He’d be delighted to relive the tale of him shooting this large boar he found-

You excuse yourself with a weak smile and your father waves you away, content to use the handmaidens and butlers as his audience. Your handmaiden follows you back to your room, where she helps you change into your pajamas. You wave her away the second she’s done.

Flopping down on your bed, you can’t help but feel empty. You wonder why that is.

Today has held many emotional twists and turns, and perhaps it was too much.

Despite your better judgment, you get back up out of bed and head towards the door. The guard once again says nothing as you walk across the hall and knock on the door belonging to the Spade family. Deuce’s mom opens the door immediately and welcomes you in with that same happy smile, and that alone tells you she knows nothing.

“I hope the festivities didn’t tire you out too much, dear.” she hugs you, the comforting warmth of her seeping into your expensive pajamas, “I’ll go make you some tea. I’m sure your father means well, as he’s trying to secure you a happy future, but if you ever need a break from it all our door is always open.”

A happy future?

You look over at Deuce, only to find him already looking at you.

There’s a sharp pang in your heart at his saddened expression.

You were so close.

You were almost there.

#auburn's fics <3 #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #disney twst x reader #twst x reader #i know theres a few deuce likers here #this ones for you #i see you guys!!!#deuce x reader #deuce spade x reader #deuce spade angst

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sehodreams · 4 months

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RIIZE AS TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS

Hey guys, so I saw @///gyuvision doing this and I thought it was the cutest thing ever, she did it so well I couldn't stop thinking about them when I heard music, to be honest I wanted to assign an era to each one but I couldn't decide (except Shotaro, he's definitely 1989, and Anton, he's Lover), so if you like it I’ll try to do that one.

These are songs that make me think about each member when I listen to them, I had so much fun doing this, hope you all enjoy it too!

TW and tags: fluff (?), a bit of toxic!Eunseok, a touch of angst, mentions of first time with Anton but nothing explicit (by the way they’re 18/19), fwb(?)!Wonbin.

WC: 2.1K

Note: This is not dark at all, if you don’t like that kind of content, I don’t recommend you visit my blog.

SEUNGHAN - The Archer

He's been so hurt, and it's even more painful because the people who have been trying to sabotage him are mostly friends, ‘cause all of my enemies started as friends, this song always makes me think of him, and how vulnerable he must feel seeing pictures of his past all around the internet, ‘cause they see right through me, can you see right through me? I see right through me, also, how much he must have felt responsible for the group's reputation, scared of being an obstacle to all the boys and regretting his past, I never grew up, it's getting so old, I'm sure he'll always remember these hard times, I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, on invisible smoke, but I hope he learns how to be stronger from this and comes back safely to the group with the same, or a better, energy, combat, I'm ready for combat.

EUNSEOK - False God

Eunseok would give you the most intense love story of your life, with an energy that makes you forget about anything else that isn't him and you two together, I know heaven's a thing, I go there when you touch me, honey hell is when I fight with you, however, I don’t think it’s a love that would last forever, you know it, he knows it, everyone knows it, they all warned us about times like this, they say the roads get hard and you get lost when you’re led by blind faith, and it doesn’t necessarily ends because you two don’t love each other anymore, but because of life circumstances and personalities, and I can’t talk to you when you’re like this, staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town, still, a love like the one you two had was impossible to get over, it doesn’t matter how much you two have tried it, you want to be together again, but we can patch it up good, make confessions and we’re begging for forgiveness, got the wine for you, but you're not good for each other anymore, and you can’t talk to me when I’m like this, daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you, so it becomes unstable, hard to maintain, a secret embarrassing to say out loud to others, but we might just get away with it, religion’s in your lips even if it’s a false god, at least, you two feel satisfied with what you have, because the thought of not being together is more painful than proudly living alone, we’d still worship this love, still worship this love, even if it’s a false god.

SUNGCHAN - You Belong With Me

Sungchan makes me think of friends-to-lovers and mutual pinning, knowing each other all life, you two had to be friends first to start having feelings for each other, I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry, and I know your favorite songs, and you tell me 'bout your dreams, but not daring to ruin your friendship, you try to forget it being with other people, hurting each other in the process, If you could see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along, so why can't you see?, both of you have unfulfilling relationships with people you don’t love and that do not love you, and you've got a smile that can light up this whole town, I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down, you say you're fine, I know you better than that, you two know it’s not going to work out because you two need each other to feel really happy, I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be, laughing on a park bench thinking to myself ‘’Hey, isn't this easy?’’, so after much time, none of you can deny what you feel anymore, have you ever thought, just maybe, you belong with me?

SHOTARO - Shake It Off

My sweet boy reminds me of this song because he always brings positivity to whenever he is, But I keep cruising, can’t stop, won’t stop grooving, it’s like I got this music in my mind sayin’, ‘’It’s gonna be alright’’, his pretty smile makes you smile too, and even when the others say he can be scary while dancing, he works hard because he wants to give people the best out of him, and his skills are not just from talent, but from effort and passion, I never miss a beat, I’m lightnin’ on my feet, and that’s what they don’t see, he’s actually a pretty brave boy, grabbing every opportunity that appeared in front of him, following his love for dance and moving alone to Korea, I’m dancin’ on my own, I make the moves up as I go, and that’s what they don’t know, he got to work with NCT to then go to Riize, a risky decision that maybe wasn’t a choice to start, just think, while you’ve been getting’ down and out about the liars, and the dirty dirty cheats of the world, you could’ve been getting’ down to this sick beat, he's a strong boy, and doesn’t matter the obstacles that he sees, he’ll always overcome them and appreciate the process, ‘cause the players gonna play, and the haters gonna hate, baby I’m just gonna shake, shake it off, I shake it off.

Extra: And to the fella over there with the hella good hair, won’t you come on over, baby? We can shake, shake, shake, is Shotaro calling Wonbin to dance together, lol.

SOHEE – Fearless

We all know the comments about Sohee growing up in a family that wasn’t as well positioned economically as the other members, I don’t want to confirm it, but taking that into mind, it makes me think that he comes from a place that, if he hadn’t worked so hard, would have made his dream stay just like that, a dream, there’s something about the way the street looks when it’s just rained, there’s a glow off the pavement, and that, apart from liking to sing, his dream of being a start was pushed by himself with the goal of helping his family get a better life, we’re drivin down the road, I wonder if you know I’m trying so hard not to get caught up now, but you’re so cool, run your hands through your hair, absentmindedly making me want you, always remembering where he comes from and all the support he had, he has values not many do, in this one-horse town, I wanna stay right here, in this passenger’s seat, you put your eyes on me, in this moment now, capture it, remember it, he already met his first goal, debuting, and he’s slowly getting used to a different lifestyle, you pull me in and I’m a little more brave, it’s the first kiss, it’s flawless, really something, it’s fearless, he took a hard decision for anyone in his circumstances and he’s finally seeing results, but he doesn’t take it for granted and continues working hard every day, ‘cause I don’t know how it gets better than this, you take my hand and drag me head first, fearless, showing how courageous he is and how he’ll never stop improving, because fear is not an impediment for him, and I don’t know why but with you, I’d dance, in a storm in my best dress, fearless.

ANTON - Cruel Summer

Anton is summer love, seeing each other again after many years, you two can’t remember how you used to look when you were younger, enjoying meeting as if it was the first time again, but this time, you can’t just be friends anymore, killing me slow, out the window, I’m always waiting for you to be waiting below, doing new things, things you never imagined before, you enjoy exploring a different side of yourself, devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes, tanned skin, friendship bracelets, the ocean and ice creams in the middle of the night, everything is pure pleasure around you two, what doesn’t kill me makes me want you more, everyone tells you to be careful, because summer will have an end, and you know it, so you decide to get the best out of it, sneaking out and having as many experiences together as possible, It’s cool, that’s what I tell ‘em, no rules, in breakable heaven, stealing cheap beers and whisky from your parents to then get sick because you two are too young to know how to hold your liquor, I’m drunk in the back of the car, and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar, you don’t want to admit it, but you think you’re the one who is more in love between you two, which hurts, said, ‘’I’m fine’’, but it wasn’t true, I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you, you believe you’re the one who is making most of the effort, risking things you never thought you’d before, and I snuck in through the garden gate, every night that summer just to seal my fate, and you thought he didn’t know about your feelings, but of course he did, who else would give as many things as you did? and I screamed for whatever is worth, ‘’I love you’’, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?, however, to your surprise, you find out you weren’t the one who was more in love, he looks up grinning like a devil, and, even if it ends, you two give each other all the first times anyone could ever wish, and It’s new, the shape of your body, so it’s cruel, but it’s the best summer, it’s blue, the feeling I’ve got, and it’s ooh, whoa, oh it’s a cruel summer.

WONBIN - I Think He Knows

Falling for Wonbin is easy, he draws people to him without even trying, so of course you’re one of his victims too, his footprints on the sidewalk lead to where I can’t stop, go there every night, just to have him near you was enough to enchant you, following him with your eyes all night, you can’t help but go to him, his hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it’s mine, you’re the one who has to start the interaction, and even if you weren’t used to it, you did it, pushing the fear of rejection aside, seeing a man like him was unusual, and you had to shoot your shot, he got that boyish look that I like in a man, it wasn’t as hard as you thought, with confidence, and a weak strategy, you caught his attention too, I am an architect, I’m drawing up the plans, a bit awkward at first, you being the one getting close first made you feel like a young kid running behind her crush again, it’s like I’m 17, nobody understands, no one understands, but you liked it, the nervous eyes, the heart beating, the hands sweating, it was something exciting that reminded you of good times, he got my heartbeat skipping down 16th avenue, but you weren’t a child anymore, that interaction wouldn’t end with you two holding hands, and with him reciprocating the energy, you felt it coming, got that, ah, I mean, wanna see what’s under that attitude, like, I want you, bless my soul, and I ain’t gotta tell him, I think he knows, and unlike the meeting, the touches weren’t awkward at all, both of you perfectly knowing what to do to satisfy each other, when we get all alone, I’ll make myself at home, and he’ll want me to stay, but you knew his type, and he knew yours, or so he thought, because after a couple of meetings and getting to know the real you, I think he knows he’d better lock it down or I won’t stick around, ‘cause good ones never wait, he didn’t want to let you go anymore, he’s so obsessed with me and boy I understand, boy I understand, he was new to approaching someone, always being the approached one, but again, with a bit of your help, everything was possible, lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh, we could follow the sparks, I’ll drive, and just like falling for him, being with him was easy too, because after you showed him the path, he knew what to do, ‘’So where we gonna go?’’ I whisper in the dark, ‘’Where we gonna go?’’ I think he knows.

#riize x plus size reader #riize x reader #riize smut #sehodreams thoughts #anton x reader #eunseok x reader #wonbin x reader #sungchan x reader #sohee x reader #shotaro x reader #seunghan x reader #riize imagines #riize scenarios #kpop scenarios #riize fluff

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imagine-you · 1 month

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Make All Your Demons Be Gone pt. 6 [Sirius Black/Reader]

summary: When you first meet your brother's friends, you're not very impressed. You're especially not so keen on Sirius Black and the feeling seems mutual. But as time goes on, you start to realize there's more to the boy who seemed to only hate you because of the house were sorted into. Through heartbreak, loss, danger, and pain, you begin to realize that you need Sirius just as much as he needs you.

chapter word count: 4.8k

author's note: So, I haven't updated in two years...A lot of stuff happened like I started a new job, lost my motivation, had a whole bunch of personal problems. But, I finally found my way back, and I hope you're all still interested in this. If you like this, please let me know! It would make my day. 💖

read on ao3

You supposed, if anyone desperately wanted to know the truth, that having Sirius as a houseguest for the rest of that summer wasn't entirely the worst thing that could happen to you. It seemed as if you had reached an unsteady truce after you caught Sirius in your father's study and you noticed a difference in your interactions.

You had insisted he was being all dramatic and brooding in the study, but Sirius swore he was only thinking over his family situation. You knew that you had truly lucked out with your parents and James, but you couldn't even imagine what it would be like to have a family you absolutely loathed. Sirius had his flaws and he was entirely too impulsive for your liking, but maybe James was right. Sirius might just be someone who might be worth knowing and you should stop fighting with him at every given opportunity.

You still teased each other and made fun, but it didn’t seem to have the same bite it used to just days before.

You got used to Sirius taking up space in your house and while you still found yourself irritated by him, you had to admit that it was a different kind of irritation than before. You wouldn't ever tell anyone, even Lily, but you had started feeling nearly fond of Sirius and his antics.

One day near the end of July, you found yourself bored, so you decided to write to your friends.

You started with a letter to Remus. You had yet to respond to his last note and you didn't want him to think you had forgotten about him. You confided in him that while your prank war with Sirius was never-ending, it didn't seem as mean-spirited as it had the previous year. It was almost like you were simply picking on each other. It was almost like you were something approaching friends.

Even though you trusted Remus, you only confessed to Lily that having Sirius there wasn't nearly as horrible as you imagined. You tried not to let your feelings on the matter shine through too much, so you made sure to tell her that he was usually off somewhere with James, exploring and laughing and conveniently far away from you.

She was quick to write you back, joking that maybe you and Sirius would become great friends, fulfilling James' dreams of having the two of you finally get along for once. What you didn't tell Lily was that you were sure James' dreams mostly involved her, but you weren't going to traumatize her with that bit of information.

You wished that you could write to Severus, but you didn't know how to feel about him anymore.

As the summer wore on, James and Sirius seemed a bit more secretive than usual. You weren't sure if you were being paranoid, since it seemed like the Daily Prophet was constantly showcasing the worst of the wizarding war that was brewing. Voldemort was gaining followers and it seemed as if you couldn't go anywhere without news of Death Eater attacks or people mysteriously disappearing following you.

By the time you were starting your fifth year at Hogwarts, you were beginning to get scared. You knew that Severus was on his way towards becoming a Death Eater, if he wasn't one already, but you were starting to realize that a lot of Slytherins were turning to that side as well. You weren't sure who to trust or what to say to others when you were in your dorm or common room, so you mostly kept to yourself.

You weren’t even sure if you could trust Regulus. Sirius had been vocal about the fact that his younger brother was all too content to simply fall in line with his family’s loyalties to the dark side. Was Regulus a Death Eater too? Were the only Slytherins you had come to call your friends now the enemy?

You convinced yourself that it was best to focus on your studies and protect yourself from the war. Over the summer, you had heard your parents speaking quietly in the study, pondering whether to keep you and your brother and Sirius from attending Hogwarts. They were more concerned about you being in Slytherin and the influence you would fall under. The fact that your parents were scared for your safety at a veritable fortress like Hogwarts told you that the situation was a lot more serious than you feared.

Despite your resolve to ignore Severus, you quite literally ran into him when you were trying to leave your dorm on the first day of classes.

"Oh," you breathed in surprise, having to stumble back a couple steps to avoid crashing into Severus.

"Y/N," Severus greeted with a nod of acknowledgement. "I didn't hear from you this summer."

"I, uh, well," you started, not sure how to let Severus know that you were terrified that he had joined the wrong side and now the two of you would have to be on opposing sides of a war. He had been one of your best friends since you started Hogwarts and now you weren't even sure if you should talk to him. "I have to go see my brother," you blurted before brushing past him.

"Y/N!" Severus called, but you were already out of the dorm and striding down the hallway, hoping you didn't look like you were running away.

You made it to the Great Hall without running into any other suspected Death Eaters. You started to approach the Slytherin table out of habit before you redirected towards the Gryffindor table. You loved being a Slytherin and you didn't think it was a bad thing. You wanted to do great things and find success in your endeavors. You wanted to be ambitious and cunning and all the other attributes that were fitting for a Slytherin.

You just didn't want to be evil.

And the most horrible thing to you was that you weren't sure how to distinguish the evil ones from the good ones.

Worse yet, you worried that you were falling into the prejudice against your own house that the rest of the school seemed to hold. And who was to say it was only Slytherins joining the ranks of Death Eaters? Who else in the other houses had decided to join Voledemort?

You didn’t know and you figured the only true safe place for you was with your brother and his friends.

So, you decided to drop down into a seat at the Gryffindor table between James and Remus.

"A little lost, snake?" Sirius asked and you glanced up to see he was sitting opposite you. You weren't sure if you were imagining it or if Sirius’ 'snake' comment didn't hold as much venom as it used to.

"I'm avoiding some people," you admitted with a shrug of your shoulders.

Remus shot you a concerned look. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah," you sighed, briefly sparing a glance for the Slytherin table. Severus was just sitting down and you had to hurriedly look away before he noticed you. "Just need to figure out how to handle something."

"Well, you're welcome to sit here whenever you like," James offered, throwing his arm around your shoulders. "And if anyone gives you any trouble, just let me know. I'll make them regret ever picking on my little sister."

You shrugged your shoulders, throwing off James' arm, and shook your head. "I can fight my own battles," you told him.

"I know you can, but--"

"But she's fully capable of taking care of herself," Lily cut in, joining the conversation. "But I suppose you are her brother, so maybe you could be good for something."

James spluttered out an indignant response that you only caught part of before he turned in his seat, giving Lily his full attention. Remus had his head buried in a book and Peter was nowhere to be found, leaving you with just Sirius.

You were going to settle for simply ignoring him in favor of eating breakfast, but Sirius had another idea.

You felt something brush against your foot under the table. At first, you thought it was merely an accident, but then something pressed into your foot again and again. You glanced up at Sirius and caught the knowing smirk on his face before he shot you a wink. You weren't sure why it had you ducking your head and refusing to look at him. It was an entirely new response to Sirius’ antics and it uneased you.

What did it mean? Was he just trying to annoy you or was this something different? Was he trying to get a rise out of you or simply teasing you or was it more than that?

"Why do you look like that?" James asked, finally pulling his focus away from Lily.

"Like what?" You wondered, trying to school your expression into something neutral. You would rather die than let Sirius know that he had managed to stir up that reaction within you, so you kept your head down and focused on your food.

Sirius decided to break James' focus on you by flinging a spoonful of eggs at his head and among the chaos that followed, you managed to slip away, wondering if Sirius was simply your ally or maybe even something more now.

As the year progressed, you began to hear more and more snippets and stories about the wizarding war that was waging on. Muggles were being tortured and wizards were going missing under 'mysterious circumstances.' Voldemort and his army seemed to be growing bolder by the day, venturing into muggle cities and causing a ruckus in the Ministry.

You feared for your parents and you hoped that they were staying as far away from the war as they could get. Besides the obvious Death Eater problem in the school, you never really thought anything bad could actually happen to you or your brother as long as you were at Hogwarts.

Which, you figured, was why you were attacked in Hogsmeade.

It was the second Hogsmeade visit of the year and you were eager to get your hands on more chocolate wands. You hadn't expected just how stressful your fifth year would be and you had severely underestimated the amount of time you would spend awake at night, studying in bed and reaching for a snack that wasn't there.

You were just about to make the trek back to the castle. The sky was beginning to grow dark and a lot of the other students had already left. There was a chill to the air that had you wrapping your scarf even tighter around your neck, shivering as a blast of cold air met you.

"Little Slytherin girl," you heard someone hiss. It was a woman, you could tell that much, but you didn't recognize her.

You instinctively froze in your tracks, not aware of where the voice was coming from. There was something screaming inside you to just move. Run now before they caught you. But your feet betrayed you and stayed rooted to the spot.

"Won't you join us, little Slytherin? All your friends have," another voice taunted, growing closer to you by the second.

You finally managed to turn around, pinpointing the voices to two Death Eaters approaching you. They were wearing masks, shielding their identities from view, and a sick twisting in your gut worried that they were really Slytherins who were undergoing some kind of initiation. What if this was Severus? Would Severus kill you? The fact that you didn't know anymore had you feeling even more sick to your stomach.

"Leave me alone," you ordered, dropping your Honeydukes purchases to the ground and attempting to go for your wand.

"Incarcerous," the wizard shouted just as the witch cast impedimenta.

You fumbled your wand, letting it fall to the ground, just as chains enclosed you. You fell to the ground, helpless and terrified, as they stalked closer towards you.

"Now, what should we do with you?" The witch mused as she twirled her wand, as if this was all some kind of game to her.

"We should take her back to Master," the wizard answered, sounding positively gleeful at the thought.

"Help!" You called, glad that they hadn't managed to silence you just yet. "Someone! Anyone! Please!"

"Shut up, you stupid girl," the wizard growled, striking you across the face.

Blood blossomed across your tongue and you could feel where the skin of your cheek had split under the force of his blow. ��

"Let's get her back to Master before--," the witch's words were cut off by a low growl followed by a snarl.

The witch let out a shriek before she fell to the ground. The wizard turned, surprised and confused, only to let out a howl of pain. You had no idea what was happening and you managed to roll to the side, getting a glimpse of the fight that was happening just steps away from where you were lying on the ground.

You had to blink a few times, wondering if you had hit your head, because there was no possible explanation for the sight before you. A black dog was snapping its jaws repeatedly, attempting to take bites out of the witch while she held it off. And of all things, a deer was rushing at the wizard, butting its head into his chest.

The wizard chose to apparate away, but the witch stayed behind.

She let out a gleeful, malicious giggle and then struck the dog in its side. The dog let out a whimper before finally backing off. The deer rushed towards the dog, attempting to aid it, but the witch cast a hex at the deer, causing it to back off.

All the while, you had been attempting to get the chains off you. You had wriggled and squirmed and finally they fell away, leaving you to grasp your wand and aim it at the witch just as she aimed hers at the dog.

You cast the first spell you could think of which just happened to be the horn tongue hex.

The witch screeched in alarm when her tongue grew heavy and began to protrude from her mouth. You followed it up with a stinging hex and then another. The witch stumbled back before finally apparating away, but you didn't think it was enough. You kept aiming hex after hex at the space she previously occupied, furious and hurt and terrified.

"Y/N!" A voice called from far away. "Y/N, it's alright now. They're gone," they said, trying to shake you out of your shock.

You blinked a few times, your eyes finally focusing enough to notice that James was standing in front of you. He had his hands on your shoulders as he attempted to get you to make eye contact with him. A relieved smile appeared on his face once he realized he finally had your attention.

Your right hand was clutching your wand so hard you were amazed that it hadn't yet broken. Your left hand was clutching a bunch of fur and you looked down to see that it was the dog. It seemed content to stand still, as if knowing you needed the reassurance, and it pressed its nose into your knee when you slowly let go.

"James," you managed, wanting to ask about the deer and the dog, but all you got out was your brother's name before you began to sob. You fell out of James' grasp and to the ground, hunching in over yourself. There was blood in your mouth and your arms ached from fighting the incarcerous charm. You were beginning to shake and an inane thought crossed your mind that you should really get your Honeydukes purchases before they were lost forever.

The dog whined low in its throat before pressing close to you, sending a beseeching look up at your brother, as if asking him to do something.

"I know, Padfoot, but we should get her to Dumbledore. Those were Death Eaters. In Hogsmeade," James stressed, sounding just as shocked as you felt.

The dog, Padfoot, growled before he was gone. In his place was Sirius, fury written into his expression.

"That was my cousin," Sirius snarled, reaching out to hold onto your shoulder. "And she could have killed Y/N."

You stared at Sirius, stunned speechless. You glanced over to your brother to see if he was also hallucinating his best friend, but James didn't seem to think anything was amiss.

"But--," you started, looking from James and back to Sirius. "You're a dog?"

Sirius shot you a smirk, but his heart didn't seem to be in it. "Wow, sweetheart, tell me how you really feel about me."

"Sirius," your brother rebuked before he brought your attention to him. "You can't tell anyone about Sirius or me, understand? We could get in a lot of trouble."

"You...," you trailed off, finally putting the pieces together through a mind still dazed with shock. "You were the stag," you observed, thinking that of course your brother was an animagus, because your life was bound to take just about every insane turn it possibly could. “How did you find me?”

“We were just out in the forest, letting off some steam,” Sirius answered. “And then we heard you screaming for help.”

James nodded his head in answer. "I’m just glad we got here in time.” James glanced around before he sighed. “It’s getting late. We should get you out of here," he decided, reaching down to pull you off the ground.

Sirius rose with you, his hand still on your shoulder, as if he was afraid to let go. He ushered you forward a few steps before you remembered about your chocolate wands and you tried to turn.

"What are you doing?" Sirius wondered, watching as you stumbled your way over to your dropped bag.

"I need this," you defended yourself with a shrug of your shoulders.

Sirius rolled his eyes, muttering 'barmy' under his breath. "C'mon," he sighed, moving to wrap an arm around your shoulders once you were beside him again.

James moved to walk at your other side, keeping you between the two of them.

There were no more attacks on the way to the school and when you officially walked through the gates and onto the Hogwarts grounds, you felt a tiny little shiver work its way down your spine in relief.

"You're safe now," Sirius assured you, letting his hand drop until it was resting at the small of your back.

"If you two hadn't been there...," you didn't even want to finish the thought. The Death Eaters would have taken you to Voldemort. They would have tortured you. They probably would have killed you.

"But we were," James refuted with a small smile at you. "And I'm not letting you out of my sight again, you got that?"

"I think she did pretty well taking care of herself," Sirius reminded James. "Getting my cousin with a horn tongue hex was just...brilliant," he finished with a wide, toothy grin at you.

"You're sure that was Bellatrix?" You asked him, thinking of the near maniacal glee she took in taking you down. You had only dealt with Sirius and Regulus, and while you thought Sirius was mad, he was nothing like that.

"It was her," Sirius confirmed with a heavy sigh. "I'm sure the Black family will commend her for her loyalty to the dark arts."

You weren't sure how to respond, so you settled for bumping your elbow into Sirius' side. "Thank you," you told him when he finally looked at you. "The both of you."

"Yeah, well, can't let my best mate's sister suffer, can I? Not unless it's me making her suffer," he added with a conspiratorial wink.

The conversation trailed off there and you became caught up in your thoughts of what had just transpired. It seemed like one moment you were hurrying across the grounds with your brother and Sirius and the next you were standing in Dumbledore's office.

"You two may go back to your dorm," he said, addressing James and Sirius. "I would like to have a few words with Miss Potter alone."

"Headmaster," James started before he was cut off by Sirius clamping a hand down on his shoulder.

"Understood, Professor," Sirius readily agreed and dragged James from the office.

Dumbledore waited until the two of them were gone before he turned his attention on you.

"I expect that they will be waiting for you to escort you back to the Slytherin dorm once we're done here. I've never found Sirius to be that agreeable before."

You couldn't help the nervous laugh you let out at his words and from the way Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with mirth, you knew it had been his aim all along.

"Now," he started, watching you from across his desk. "Would you like to tell me what happened tonight in Hogsmeade?"

You found the words for the story in bits and pieces. Your hands began to tremble as you talked about the Death Eaters approaching you while you were helpless and you found yourself pulling out a chocolate wand and taking a bite. "Sorry," you told Dumbledore when you noticed the amused look on his face.

"No need to be sorry," Dumbledore dismissed with a wave of his hand. "I too find that sweets help me through trying situations. So, your brother and Sirius came to your rescue?"

"They did," you agreed with a nod of your head. There was no way you were going to mention that James and Sirius were animagi, so you quickly glossed over that part of the story. "And once I was able to free myself, I attacked one of the Death Eaters when she hurt Sirius. I, uh, I turned her tongue into a horn," you admitted with a sheepish grin. "And then I cast a lot more hexes until she left. I was, I mean, well...," you didn't know how to talk about the worst part. "They wanted to take me to him," you forced yourself to get out. "And they would have killed me. There's no way I could have fought him or any of them and escaped with my life."

Dumbledore seemed to mull over your words for a few moments. There was a look on his face you couldn't immediately decipher, but the more you studied it, the more you realized that Dumbledore seemed oddly proud of you.

"Tell me, Miss Potter, what would you like to do once you leave here?"

You weren't sure how that was in any way connected to the night's events, but you were happy for a change of subject. Your mind was still reeling from Death Eaters and animagi and the possibility of being taken to Voldemort. You really just wanted to think about anything else at the moment.

"Well, I would really like to continue my studies," you answered, thinking over where you might want to be in ten years time if you were still alive. "Particularly in history of magic."

"Ah, yes, I've heard that you are far more passionate about the subject than your classmates."

"It's fascinating," you admitted with a genuine smile. "Maybe I'll be lucky enough to be a professor one day."

"I think that sounds like a wonderful plan," Dumbledore mused with a thoughtful look. "I suppose when Professor Binns is ready to move on, we'll have a candidate in mind for the position." Dumbledore considered you for another moment. “I will have to inform your parents about what happened tonight. I don’t doubt that they will try to convince you to spend the rest of the term at home.”

You knew your parents would fear for your safety even more now, but you didn’t want to leave Hogwarts. “Then I’ll just have to convince them that Hogwarts is safe.”

Dumbledore offered you a content smile before he pulled out a drawer of his desk. He rummaged through the drawer before he pulled something free. “May I offer you a sherbet lemon?”

Not long after that, Dumbledore sent you on your way with a few more sweets than you had arrived with and the knowledge that he thought you had done well for yourself under duress.

You weren't surprised to see that Dumbledore was right about Sirius and James. The second you stepped off the staircase leading up to Dumbledore's office, James was right there with Sirius not far behind.

"What'd he say? Should we get you to the Hospital Wing?" James asked, worry in his tone as he considered you.

"I'd rather just go to sleep," you dismissed James' concern, brushing past him in favor of heading towards the dungeons.

"Maybe we could sneak you into the Gryffindor common room to sleep it off on the couch," Sirius suggested, falling into step with you.

"No," you immediately argued. "I have to trust that I can be safe in my own dorm."

Sirius and James shared a look, a silent conversation taking place between them, before James finally rolled his eyes. "Fine, but we're walking you there."

You couldn't help but snort in amusement. James was always going to be your overprotective big brother and Sirius...well, you weren't quite sure what Sirius was anymore, but you knew that things were constantly evolving between the two of you.

And really, you didn't think that was such a bad thing.

The next day, visits to Hogsmeade were put on hold for the rest of the year since it was deemed unsafe with the recent attacks on muggles and wizards. Your attack wasn't mentioned, and you were grateful since everyone seemed upset by the news. You knew they would just find a way to blame you and you didn't want to know what anyone would have to say. You were still shaken, and while you were going to miss your Honeydukes shopping trips, you couldn't deny that you wouldn't have felt safe there again.

You had just finished writing a letter to your parents in response to their plea that you consider coming home. Dumbledore had been right, but you were stubborn and wanted to finish out your fifth year at the castle. Your parents wouldn’t like it, but you also knew that they wouldn’t force you to come home if you didn’t want to.

You were clutching the letter tight in your hands, intent on going to the owlery, when someone called your name just as you were leaving the Great Hall.

"Are you alright?" The voice caught you off-guard, stopping you in your tracks.

You turned to see Severus standing there, his expression neutral with just a hint of conern in his eyes.

"What?"

"You appear to be injured," he observed with a quirk of his eyebrow. "This wouldn't have anything to do with the Hogsmeade trips being cancelled?"

A hundred different emotions flooded through you before you somehow finally landed on contempt. "And if it was?" You took a couple of steps closer to him, lowering your voice so only the two of you could hear. "And if it was Death Eaters who attacked me and attempted to kidnap me? Would you still be with them?"

Severus' expression morphed from poorly concealed worry into masked irritation. "I don't see how that's any of your business."

You scoffed, shaking your head. "It's my business because you were my friend, Severus. You were one of my best friends and the fact that you could join them? That's just...I don't know who you are anymore," you admitted with a scowl.

You turned away from him, not letting him even attempt to get another word in. You didn't want to know if there was anything left of your friendship with Severus. The fact alone that he would join the Death Eaters, especially after what you had endured the night before, was more than enough for you to know that you didn't want anything to do with him as long as he was with them.

The rest of your fifth year was spent fearing for your loved ones and doing your damnedest to make sure that you got the OWLs scores that you wanted. While you had lost a friend, it seemed as if you had gained another in Sirius. He spent less time trying to poke and prod at you, attempting to get a rise, and instead did his best to make you laugh. He watched out for you and finally seemed to accept you despite the fact that you were a Slytherin.

A year before, you never would have guessed that you would be facing your sixth year at Hogwarts trusting Sirius Black and avoiding Severus at all costs. You didn't know what the future held for you and you were terrified more than anything that Voldemort and his army would find a way to win.

But as long as you still had the people you loved, for now you would simply focus on what the summer holidays would bring. And even though you were loath to admit it, even to yourself, maybe you were just the tiniest bit interested in seeing where the new amicable nature of your relationship with Sirius brought you.

taglist: @mizelophsun11 @mysticalfuncollectorus @honeybxes @siriusement @takem3tothelakes @fangeekkk @strawberrysodaslut (if you would like to be added please let me know! some people who used to be on the list have different usernames, so I wasn't sure if I should still tag you.)

#sirius black #sirius black imagine #harry potter #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #harry potter imagine #james potter #marauders #imagine #reader insert #reader is a potter #reader is a slytherin #make all your demons be gone fic #x reader #my fic

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caxde · 1 year

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closeness | Steve Harrington x reader

summary you're Hopper's daughter and after the events of the Starcourt mall, and him being pressumed dead, you deal with guilt and grieve, for better or worse, your best friend Steve is dealing with the same thing.

word count: 3.9k (first steve fic i post hope u like it)

warnings fem!reader, angst! (kinda a lot I was in a mood), fluff, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, yearning etc, slowburn bestfriends to lovers, idiots in love!!!, sharing a bed trope, it has some pretty negative self talk and allusion to an anxiety attack...so yeah. english is not my first language so I apologise if there’s some mistakes, not proof read!!

The nights have been lonely lately.

You did have the option to go far away and escape this town, but when the time came, you were incapable of doing so.

Here, everything reminded, echoed in a way your father. So it came to no surprise that you stayed back, and Jane had left.

And yes, of course saying goodbye hurt like a bitch and opened up all types of wounds that you had stitched together, but, you had to. She would be safer in California, miles and miles away from this god-forsaken town.

And yes, the weather didn’t help. Late November and the cabin was surrounded by snow, cold and quiet. Nothing else but you. Not even the usual chirping of birds that accompanied you throughout spring and autumn were here anymore. So you felt that, alone.

You knew you weren’t actually alone, but having to ask for help or company felt like a chore that you had no energy to complete, so you rested there. In the middle of your living room, with the fire barely hanging on, the T.V turned off, and no lights shining onto you. It’s not like you liked the darkness, or that it didn’t bother you, you just wanted to lay in it and its familiarity. Swallowed by it almost.

No chatty banter with him. Not even the smell of his gross cooking filling the air. You hadn’t cooked in your kitchen for months.

It was expected. Everybody told you that grief is a process and that you can’t rush through it, but… You didn’t feel like that.

You felt as if all the grief that you felt for him was just all the love you still have for him, that you didn’t get to express, or show and don’t know where to really put it now. Robin suggested getting a dog, and you did laugh at the idea, not because you found it ridiculous or weird, but because you were struggling to take care of yourself, how could you ever take care of another living thing?

You were spiraling pretty bad, and you did want to call someone, anyone really. It didn’t matter as long as they could hold you and tell you that you weren’t insane for holding onto hope, or believing that maybe he was really alive, or that it was okay not to be okay, that you would get through it and that you are still deserving of love and affection. But you didn’t want to burden anyone.

Though his name came into your mind.

As a whisper almost.

And as fate had it, the phone started to ring, pulling you away from that circle of self-doubt or self-hate? You weren’t even sure anymore.

So you stand up, pulling yourself together, wiping the tears that started to form in your eyes but hadn’t had the courage to jump out of them. You picked it up, waiting to hear someone’s voice.

“Hello?” Your voice cracked, you hadn’t spoken in what felt like days.

“Hey Hopper, it’s me.” You winced as you heard your father’s last name, but a soft smile contradicted it, it was Steve’s voice after all.

“Hey Steve…” You whispered, really trying to hold yourself together now. “Um… what… what’d you want?” You said as you failed to stop the last tear from dropping.

“I was just checking in… Hadn’t heard from you in a while…” He admits, his voice soft-spoken and calm, you could feel his eyebrows raising and furrowing in his forehead.

“You called me yesterday…” You said, with a chuckle, trying to hide the fact that you were about to break down and cry.

“Yeah, well… Something told me you…” He stopped for a second. Your hand grabbing your cheeks tight, hoping that if you had enough strength you would stop crying and would be able to have a normal conversation, not worrying him. “Hey…” He said softly, with a whisper of a voice. “Were you- are you crying?” That was enough for you to actually fall to your knees, hugging yourself as you crumbled.

“Yeah…” You manage to say, not being able to say anything else, whimpers and fast breathing invading your body.

“Be there in five.” His voice said, not mean, but harsh. Decided, and yes, worried.

You tried to say anything to him, something that would make him not worry and not come over here, but it was useless, he had already hung up.

And you just laid there, in your hard-wood floors, trying to hold your body as you searched for comfort, not really sure if you had the strength to get back up.

It was all my fault. Itwas all my fault. Itwasall my fault. Itwasallmy fault. Itwasallmyfault.

Your brain screams at you as you remember your father going down, and Joyce’s face when she had to tell you.

You don’t know how long it took, or for that matter, how long you had stayed clawing your floor trying to composure yourself. But Steve came through the door.

He came directly to you and said nothing. He just held you, as you just wept. Eternally grateful for him, but at the same time, incredibly embarrassed that he had to see you like that.

“I’m sorry.” You managed to whisper, your voice higher than ever before, your eyes burning from the tears.

You felt the grip of his fingers grow deeper into your skin.

“Don’t be.” He said, as he played with your hair. “I’m here.” He remained you.

You nodded, and let your body relax at those words, your head hitting his chest, him just holding you more and more tightly, reassuring you, comforting you.

“You’re staying at mine from now on.” He declares. His voice, serious, and clear. He grabbed your face, cupping it in between his hands. “You don’t bother. You need to get out of here. And I want you there, okay?” He answers before you can even say nothing to him. You nod, with a shy thank you smile. He nodded as he left a kiss in the crown of your head.

He stayed in the ground with you until your breathing returned to normal, and you could actually talk without hiccups. He had no rush in making sure you were okay.

Once you were capable of standing up, he guided you to the sofa, and made you wait there, as he went into your room and packed the essentials. He told you when you tried to tell him off, that he knew it would be easier if he did it now. That you could come tomorrow and grab what you actually wanted or needed. And yeah, he was right. Because he always is when it comes to you.

“D’you need anything?” You ask as you see him getting ready to leave.

“Oh um… No, think we’re good.” He says as he scans the fridge once again. Coffee pot still hot.

You give him one of your funny looks, judging him as he runs his fingers through his hair. You leave your chair and walk right next to him, as you eye the mostly empty fridge, his hand still holding the door.

“Dude, do you really wanna have soup for dinner, again?” You ask him, eyebrows lifted, sarcasm in your voice.

“Well, no. Not really.” He admits, closing the door. Walking back to his mug, raising it to his lips. “But you don’t have to go and get anything, I can do it.” He says, eyes lost on the maroon liquid.

“Oh, c’mon. I’m the one invading your house, let me do something!” You demand of him, almost begging.

He nods as he leaves to grab his brown worn-out jacket. Your eyes are set on him, the way he moves, ever so easily, confident in everything he does, even if that is just his routine, you’re amazed by the way his arms glide through the sleeves, and how his head lifts up, hair bouncing, defying gravity all the same.

His eyes meet yours for just a second.

“You don’t have to do anything in return you know? I like having you around.” He reassures you. Hands in his pocket, you nod with a polite smile back. He copies your body language, relaxed. “Be back at 8, ‘kay?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

Even if he isn’t conscient of it, you catch him muttering under his breath as the entrance door opens.

“I always worry ‘bout you.”

Be as it may, it makes you smile. Not really sure why it would, it still does.

So as you lay in his kitchen, you begin to do what you’ve taken as your routine since he invaded you to live in his house a few weeks ago. You clean the dishes from the night before, and sort out what needs to be sorted out. Laundry and bathroom today.

You spend a quiet morning doing so, not haunted my memories, not a devastating inner monologue, just that. Stillness and calmness. And it seems as though the weather accompanies you today, with an unusually warm sunlight that crawls through the windows, a promise that today won’t be as freezing as the rest of December has been.

So you decide that today’s a good day to walk around Hawkins.

You’ve been borrowing his old walkman, with the stuck mix-tape that Dustin had gifted him god knows when. You put his headphones on your head, and as you press play, you move through his empty house, crawling to the bedroom that he had for visitors. And you do find yourself thinking how strange it is, such a big house, and yet it’s always empty except for him. An absent father, and an out-of-the-map mother.

Maybe he needed your company just as much as you needed his.

You smile to yourself at that thought, and how perfect it would be if that was the case.

When you look at the mirror, you feel as if you're missing something, not quite sure what it might be, you spin around your room, walls still white, you spot a vivid yellow jumper on your floor. So you grab it and put it on, smelling Steve as it lays on top of your body, you’re ready to leave.

“Thank you” He muttered as he finished his last bite. You had decided to eat on the couch, eyes darted at the T.V.

“Don’t mention it.” You say as you let your plate rest on the coffee table, grabbing your cup of water in the same motion. “I should be thanking you”

“What for?” He demands, looking at you through his brows, unsure.

“Letting me stay here. Y’know, everything…” You let out, avoiding his gaze as you darted around the room.

“How long have we known each other?” He asks all of a sudden, his left hand stroking his face as his eyes finally connect to yours, shocked in response to his question.

“I dunno, seems like I knew you since I was born” You say, sincerely, your face and body relaxing at him, as his right hand readjust a wisp of your hair that wasn’t quite in place.

“Exactly. So stop bullshiting me!” He exclaims. You flinch in show of his response, not really sure what to do next, he readjusts himself. Leg climbing up the sofa, his arm resting in it. Pulling closer to you. “I’ve known you my whole life, so please, please don’t lie to me.” He begs, as one of his hands catches yours, in a plea of sincerity and vulnerability.

“I’m not…” You try to say, as you catch your voice barely coming out of your body, tears bubbling up as your vision gets blurry. A feeling of heaviness invading your chest. Your hand that rested free on the back of the couch is now wiping the beginnings of the tears away, your mouth tasting salty already.

“But… You are… You can tell me…” He whispers back, the grip he has in your hand growing stronger, his eyes shooting compassion and begging for you to trust in him, to let yourself be seen by him.

“I just… It’s my fault…” You mutter, as you finally let your walls down, crumbling down, not physically, but you could feel the silent tears not waiting for you to wipe them, as they escape with no order.

“It wasn’t.” He answers back.

“It feels like it…” Your voice barely audible, you see his head getting closer so he could hear you.

“I know it does, but everything that happened… Yeah, it sucks but… Y’know, you’re alive.” Your face flinches at that, yes you are alive but for all that it’s worth, he isn’t and if you had to put words into what you were actually feeling it would be survivors guilt. “And you deserve to be…” He finishes, with his free hand, he pushes hair away from your face, and leaves it there, in the back of it, stroking your hair, hoping he can give you some sort of reassurance. He does.

“I don't… Not more than he did…” You try to argue. To no avail, you can see Steve crumbling down, his body moving closer to you now, holding your gaze up to meet his eyes.

“I think he would think otherwise.” He tells you, as his thumb wipes some of the tears away, soft eyes looking at you, with a sideways smile.

“Yeah, and he’d be a dick about it..” You whisper, making you both laugh.

“Oh absolutely he would.” He says, laying your head in his shoulder, as he rests his head on yours, holding you sideways.

Intimacy growing between the both of you, you enjoy that moment of stillness and quiet.

You usually weren’t able to fall asleep until later in the night, meaning that usually, the sun could be seen waking up when you went down, finding comfort in knowing that sunshine was coming.

So, as a consequence, you had a habit of saying goodnight to Steve at around ten o’clock at night, when he went upstairs to his bed. You would catch one of the books that his father had laying about and bring it with you, in the room next to him, sharing nothing else but quiet and a wall.

So you sat down, back to the wall, resting on top of the comfortable and cold bed. Having decided to finally read Pride & Prejudice, you moved your hair out of your way, pulling it up in a ponytail. Still wearing Steve’s yellow sweater, you removed your pants, resting the book in your bare legs, you started to read.

Before you knew it, you were immersed in it, reading.

“Chapter 12

In consequence of an agreement between the sisters, Elizabeth wrote the next morning to their mother, to beg that the carriage might be sent for them in the course of the day. But Mrs. Bennet, who had calculated on her daughters remaining at Netherfield till the following Tuesday, which would exactly finish Jane’s week, could not bring herself to receive them with pleasure before. Her answer, therefore, was not propitious, at least not to Elizabeth’s wishes, for she was impatient to get home…”

Steve’s screaming snapped you out of the world you had immersed yourself in.

You dropped the book and were rapidly moving across your room, opening his door wide. You find him, his head resting in his hand, chest moving rapidly as he had trouble breathing. His eyes move at you for a moment, though he wants to, and you can tell, he’s not capable of saying anything to you.

So you don’t say anything.

Nor did you think about what you were doing.

Your body just found its way to his, holding him, just like he had hours before. You could feel him leaning his weight into you, his body exhausted and crumbling into yours, so you did what he did for you. You held him, no questions asked. No demands.

His chest, you could see, was back to its normal rhythm, though you had become distracted by the fact that he wasn’t wearing any shirt or nothing to that matter, but some old pyjama pants.

His head rested in your shoulder this time, and his lips whispered into your ear, so soft and so deep that it sent tingles to your whole body as he spoke.

“I’m better… I…”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me…” You finish for him, as your hand finds itself lost into his hair, something that you never dared to do before.

You could feel him smiling, as he nodded, hair tickling your cheek as he did so. The warmth between the two of you growing, with a need of touch that you both had met in this moment.

“I don’t have to leave if you don’t want me to.” You whisper to him. Your head looking down at him, his brown eyes were still shining, even at the dead of night. But then again, they always did when he looked at you.

So, with no words needed, he opened his side of the blanket and you crawled inside. His body was holding you tight, just as you did to him. Your head in his chest, his hands in your hair. You hadn’t slept that quickly or comfortably in a long time. And neither had he.

It became a routine.

Nighttime fell on the Harrignton household, and he would head upstairs first, you would follow his steps half an hour later, book in hand. He would rest his head on your chest covered by one of his old shirts while you read. Once you felt his body relax, you would close the book and let him hold you, the nightstand light turned off.

He woke up first, and he would always leave a sleepy kiss on your shoulder while he mumbled a good morning. He’d go down and you would creep out of the sheets when the smell of coffee travelled its way to you.

And you would share a quiet morning.

It felt nice. It felt good. It felt right.

But you could also tell that it was screwing with your head.

You had caught his hands caressing your skin more and more lately, and the places he touched would burn with a strange mix of desire and need, expressing themselves in warmth. You saw his eyes darting to your lips when you were speaking to him. His going-out-to-work hugs would last more and more, and they left no space between your bodies.

You weren’t free of guilt either.

Your hands now had the habit of searching for him in the middle of the night. Your lips searched for his shoulder to leave a kiss on them every time he turned around in his sleep, craving to hear him let a soft moan out. And everytime he was standing in the kitchen you would hug him from behind, your arms holding tight as your hands played with his shirt.

You realized in the middle of the day, that you were indeed falling madly in love with him.

So, on that night, when he came home, you looked at him like you never had before.

Your breath got caught up for a second too long. Your eyes shined bright every time you dared to look back at him. Your cheeks grew pink and warm when he hugged you as soon as he came from outside, even if his clothes were cold, you didn’t feel it, your body burning up in new discovered feelings.

You grew nervous and fidgety, craving his closeness. Feeling somehow guilty of what your heart felt, scared shitless of what this all could mean.

And you didn’t know this, but he was just as nervous this evening.

So when he caught you picking at your skin, he didn’t warn you before grabbing your hand.

You were once again in his bed. Book closed in your chest. His face close to yours, his eyes looking softly at you, begging for you to say what was on your mind, his lips slightly parted.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice sounded tired, as if he had been but a moment away from falling asleep. As he grabbed the ends of your fingers, you saw how truely close his lips were to them. When he saw you growing quiet, staring at him with doe-like eyes, he pulled himself closer to you. Your body is completely touching him.

“C’mon, you can tell me… I.. I’m here…I’m your friend…”

You let out a soft laughter, and didn’t really think before speaking.

“But you're not…” You whisper to him. His eyes take offence at this, his body moving forwards from you as you tell him that.

“What do you mean?” He begged, his voice barely audible, but broken.

“Friends don’t do this… Steve I…” You were getting flustered, his hands still wrapped around your fingers.

“Whaddumean?” He asked, all in one phrase.

“Friends don’t… This!” You say as you point at both of you, he shaked his head, not really following you. “Friends don’t sleep together, they don’t cuddle, they don’t kiss you good morning and good night, they don’t…” You can see him getting slightly offended at the words that you're saying to him.

“Look, you can’t leave! You were the one that said that-” You had to cut him off. You didn’t like him getting flustered or mad about something that was not what you meant.

“I don’t wanna leave! I want to stay like this! I want… you” You say, your eyes completely sincere, your shoulders relaxed, begging him to understand what you were trying to say to him without actually having to say it outloud.

“Then what do you mean we’re not…” He’s getting frustrated, hands in his hair, scratching in anger, in misunderstanding.

“Goddammit Steve!” You yell to him, throwing the blanket off of you, to his body. Your chest goes up and down rapidly. “I love you!” You yell to him, your cheeks warm and red, tears of nervousness in the corners of your eyes.

“I love you too but… I don’t- I’m not following.” He said, in his most honest, lost voice. His body closer to yours again, begging to understand what was going on.

“Steve…” You whisper. “I… I mean, that, I’m in love with you…”

As soon as your words reach him, you can see the way the light lights up in his head, as he understands what you mean. So he does what he’s been dreaming about for so long.

His left hand grabs your cheek, and as your eyes meet, he holds you like this for a moment, foreheads touching, both of your eyes closing. Your heart is beating faster than ever. And he finally closes the distance.

Your lips finally touch. In need to finally feel the way he feels, his other hand getting lost in the back of your neck, playing with your hair, as he holds you closer and closer. No rush between you, your arms hold him, getting lost in the back of his neck. Needing him like you’ve never needed him before. Your tongues touch as the kiss deepens. You're both smiling as you do so.

“I guess we’re not friends.” He whispers an inch away from your lips, kissing you again. Making you laugh in between kisses.

“I guess not.” You say as you continue. Kissing him. His lips. His neck. Messing with his hair as much as you can, enjoying the way his body fitted against yours.

“I’m in love with you too.” He admits later in the night, as he spoons you, whispering it in your ear, as he turns you around to kiss you again.

You didn’t sleep that night, for a good reason this time.

if you enjoyed (i I really hope you did), please reblog! i promise it makes a difference

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jinniesxl · 10 months

Text

Summary : After breaking up with your boyfriend your friends prescribe you a fun night at the club, where you end up meeting a guy who you could only describe as perfect. So you decide to get to know him . Even if it is just for one night.

Warnings: Alcohol, Swearing, Oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), not wearing a seat belt??, semi public sex?. Idk they were alone but outside so😭

Pairings: Jimin x reader

3,400+ Words

========================

I'd rather be lost in the lights, lost in the lights.

I'm out of my mind.

Can you help me numb the pain?

Like Crazy- Park Jimin

The doors swung open and suddenly the music that was muffled from the outside became clear. As soon as you stepped into the club you could feel just how loud it was, the bass made your body vibrate. With the mix of blaring music, the smell of alcohol, sweat,strong perfumes and the intense blue strobe lights you were positive you would have a raging headache within minutes.

Being in a room full of sweaty drunk people practically fornicating on the dance floor, was not how you envisioned your night but here you were. It was the only way to get your friends –Mina and Soyeon– off your back. Ever since you and Namjoon had ended things they haven't left you alone. They think you're heartbroken despite you telling them that you were really okay.

The truth is your breakup with Namjoon didn't really hurt, of course you were sad but it wasn't messy or dramatic. You had mutually decided that you wanted different things and that you could still be cool with each other and you were content with that.

You would much rather spend your night off at home than in this club but if coming here meant Mina and Soyeon would stop trying to comfort you for something you were fine with, then you would party until their hearts were content.

Even though they originally came here to lift your spirits, you knew you would be by yourself within the next half hour. They loved to go clubbing and it usually ended with the both of them getting laid, but you were in a committed relationship for more than two years so this wasn’t your thing anymore. You used to come here with them all the time but as soon as you met Namjoon you decided to find more chill hangout places with less thirsty men around.

But now you were back here and not sure if you knew what to do. Your first instinct was to head for the bar because there was no way in hell you would get through this night sober, especially because you didn't want to be here in the first place.

The three of you sit on stools right next to each other and Soyeon orders shots for each of you.

“Shots already? I don't want to get too wasted tonight. I have things to get done tomorrow.” you whine “Relax Y/N just have fun tonight don't worry about tomorrow, let loose for a while”

You sigh and agree to “let loose” for the night.

Your friends begin to look around scanning the room most likely in search of a guy to hook up with tonight. Mina begins to open her mouth to speak when the bartender sets 3 shot glasses filled with vodka in front of you. Mina and Soyeon pick up their glasses and you do the same, clanking them together you mumble a quiet “cheers” and gulp it down cringing at the taste.

You order more drinks and pick something light on the alcohol. “Y/N do you see that guy” Mina nods you in the direction of a tall guy with dark hair who's wearing tight black jeans and a loose button up shirt with two buttons undone at the top. He's cute you'll admit but he has a sort of “frat boy” vibe to him and that's something you're just not into.

“He's been looking at you since we sat here. Go talk to him” She seems eager to find you a date but no matter how eager she is it won't be this guy.

“Yeah, he's been looking at me and 10 other girls. No thanks. You guys don't have to sit here and help me find hookups you know.”

“Fine, Fine lets just drink” Soyeon suggests

=================================

Just like you expected both of the girls had left you sitting at the bar alone. They were now out on the dance floor or hooking up somewhere. You weren't having much fun so you pulled out your phone to text them that you were going home, but before you got the chance to type out the text you feel someone sit on the stool next to you.

“Not feeling it tonight huh?”

You look up to see if he's talking to you, which now you know he definitely is. He eyes you like you're the only person there. Looking from your eyes and lips down to your exposed legs in the short black dress you wore, maybe a little too short but it's all you had on hand.

“Yeah. It seems dull here tonight, but maybe i'm just not in the clubbing kind of mood”

“Let me buy you a drink before you go”

You frown at him. He seems nice but you just want to go home. “I just want to get out of here. Sorry.” His face lights up. Weird for a guy you just turned down. “Okay you want to get out of here? Come somewhere with me. It seems we both have nothing better to do tonight.”

Something told you he wasn't the type to give up easily and he gave you a good vibe so why not? Something about him made you curious. “One drink”

“One drink it is” he says, clapping his hands together and smiling. It was the prettiest smile you had ever seen. It was a smile that reached his eyes. It was genuine. When he smiled his eyes turned to crescent moons.

It was cute, but at the same time this man was far from cute.

Dressed in nicely fitted blue jeans and a matching jacket with gem stones scattered throughout in patterns. Under his open jacket he wore a white mesh tank top that had thicker straps on the shoulders. He wasn't super tall, about average height, but he was nicely built and skinny but you could tell that under that jacket he was at least a little bit muscular. And those thighs, his thighs were thick they looked strong it made you want to sit on the-

Get it together Y/N he's a stranger you just ran into

He ushers the bartender over to take your drink orders. You both tell him what you want and then swing back into conversation.

“Why'd you come tonight if you didn't want to be here because I can't lie you've looked like you want to be anywhere else since you got here.” he points out.

“My friends practically forced me out but now they're off doing god knows wha-” You pause Did he just say “since you got here”

“What do you mean since I got here? Have you been watching me?” you question

“It's impossible not to look at the prettiest girl in the room” you blush and he continues. “I saw you come in and since then my attention keeps drifting to you.” You giggle just now realizing that you're a bit tipsy from the drinks you've had earlier.

“You’re flirting with me but haven't even told me your name. It makes you seem like a player.” You joke. He lets out a small laugh. “Jimin, Park Jimin.”

“Well it's nice to meet you, Park Jimin” you say, making sure to highlight “Park” with your voice. “If it's anything to you, my name is Y/N”

“Y/N, I like that its pretty”

The bartender comes with your drinks and the two of you immerse yourselves in meaningless conversion.

====================

You told Jimin “one drink” and you meant it but that didn't stop you from taking him up on his offer of leaving together, not with the intention of hooking up, but from the way he was looking at you, you could tell that wasn't off the table.

The both of you had waited about an hour after you finished your drinks and had some food to help you sober up. Jimin had only had that one drink the whole night so he was okay to drive. Apparently he only comes to the club for dancing, not drinking. So you were a special case for him.

Before you left the club you had made it abundantly clear that this was a one night kind of thing and you most likely wouldn't see him again after this. Or at least you wouldn’t seek him out, and he was to do the same. He was okay with it although you swear you saw disappointment flash his face.

Sure you were over Namjoon, but dating this early on felt wrong, you just weren't ready yet. Not that you thought Jimin would want to date you after one night of hanging out. Tonight was only for fun and since it was supposed to just be a good memory you wanted to leave everything at that. A memory. There was no particular reason why but you didn't feel the need to bring a person on as a friend just because of one good night.

Mina and Soyeon had left with their hookups by the time you left so there was no point in staying.

Getting in Jimin's car you look around at the interior. Leather seats, that doesn't surprise you in the slightest.

“Where are we going?” you look over at him. “Why don't we drive around the city”

“I want to see the stars” you tell him “We can't see them if we stay in the city they get lost in the lights.”

He thinks for a second and then starts the car “I know a place” He begins to drive and you don't ask questions, for some reason you trust him. Even though you just met him you feel a sense of safety around him.

He turns on the radio and a pop song starts to play through the speakers. You're not sure who it is but it's a nice song. “I've always wanted to try something and this feels like the right time. Don't crash.”

He opens his mouth to speak but you're already pulling open his sunroof and sticking your head out. He slows down to a speed that you won't be blown back at and laughs as you yell into the night.

You know you look ridiculous but you don't care, people in movies alway look like they're having so much fun when they do this so you wanted to see for yourself. After you've had your fun you pull your head back into the car and shut the sunroof.

“Was it as fun as you thought?” Jimin chuckles. He thought it was cute how happy you looked after doing something so simple. It made him feel refreshed to be around someone so free spirited.

He thought maybe this could last forever.

You were clear on how you felt about tonight and he respected that even though you could've been so good together. By morning this would all be a memory.

“Not as thrilling as the movies make it seem but it felt nice”

A few more songs played on the radio before you got to your destination, you and Jimin singing along to the ones you knew.

You had driven out of the city, to the outskirts, it was quiet; peaceful. Jimin stopped the car “Lets get on the roof. I have blankets in the back.” The roof of what? There were no buildings out here. He wasn't talking about the car right. You'd fall off and break a leg within minutes.

You cocked your head to the side ready to ask where he was talking about, but he had already grabbed a blanket and stepped on a part of the trunk to pull himself up. So he did mean the car.

You kicked your shoes off and set them inside of the car before walking to the trunk and pulling yourself up. It was bigger than you thought up there but still dangerous. You sat beside Jimin and he wrapped the blanket around you, leaving his arm to hang around your shoulders and instead of moving away like you know you should have, you leaned in to his side.

The both of you sit in silence and look up at the sky, you could have sworn the night never felt this warm and the stars had never shone this bright. Being in this moment with Jimin felt right.

He glanced over at you staring off into the night sky and it made him smile at you once again. That beautiful eye smile.

You felt his eyes on you so you looked over. He brought his face down closer to yours and lightly grabbed your chin lifting it ever so slightly so you were forced to look into his eyes. “Y/N” he spoke softly “Can I kiss you”

You froze, you wanted to speak but were afraid of what you might say or ask him to do so you nodded your head and without hesitation Jimin finally closed the gap between your lips. The kiss started off softly, his plump lips testing out yours, but soon enough his hand dropped from your face down to your thighs, that were no longer covered by the blanket or your dress. The dress you were wearing had ridden up doing an extremely lousy job at covering anything.

He began to touch your thighs, caressing the outsides over so gently and then sneaking his hands into the top of your panties–where he stopped– Jimin pulled his lips away from yours and you were prepared to scold him for teasing you, but when you looked at him, it made sense

“Do you want me to keep going? It's okay if you don't want to go any further.”

“I want this, please make me feel good Jimin.” And that was all he needed before diving his hands into your panties and placing his lips back on yours. You spread your legs out so that he would have easier access but there was only so much room on top of his car.

He found your clit quickly and started to draw soft, gentle circles into you. Shamelessly you began to lift your hips into his hand desperate to feel more. Your eagerness made him grin into the kiss, but he had a feeling you wouldn't appreciate him teasing so he added a finger to your now wet cunt, slowly pushing it in and pulling it back out. The feeling of something finally inside you, made you moan.

Enjoying the noises coming from your lips he added another finger to the mix, stretching you out for him. You could've cum like this and Jimin knew it from the way you were clenching around his fingers, but he didnt want you to come, not yet, he still wanted to taste you.

He stopped suddenly and pulled his fingers out of you, you almost whined at the feeling of being empty. “Hey why'd you sto-'' You were cut off by him gripping your thighs and positioning you laid on your back on the cold metal of the car. You sat yourself up on your elbows and lifted your knees. He grabbed the hem of your now soaked panties and threw them back somewhere. If you weren't so dazed by his movements and desperate for pleasure you would’ve yelled at him for being so careless.

Throwing his legs over the front windshield of his car he placed his head directly over your navel.The position he was in couldn't have been comfortable.

“So that I could do this” Wasting no time he lowered himself so that he could place his soft lips over your sensitive clit. He moved his lips and tongue in a way that made you see stars. “F-fuck Jimin im gonna cum” Pushing his fingers back into your soaked cunt he lifted his head to watch you come undone “Thats right baby, cum for me” Quickly he put his mouth back on you, licking your clit and pushing his fingers in and out of you simultaneously. That was all it took for you to let yourself go.

You came on his mouth and fingers as your thighs trembled. He continued to rub your clit and help you ride out your orgasm. “Jimin, too much, it's too much” you gasped out while snapping your thighs shut. That didn't stop him from pulling them open to press one last kiss to your overstimulated cunt.

He pulled himself back onto the top of the car before licking his lips that were now slick with your cum.

You caught your breath and began to sit up as Jimin leaned over your body to kiss you again. “Are you alright?” He asked eyes slightly widening with concern because of your already fucked-out-looking state.

You let out a breathy chuckle. “I'm great, I just need a second, I wasn't expecting you to be so good with your mouth.”

He laughed and jumped down off the car holding his arms up for you to grab. “Come on, it's almost daylight, let's get you home.” Almost daylight? What time was it? How long did you and Jimin stay out here?

To any other one night stand Jimin would have suggested sex in the back seat, but with you it was different, not because he didn't want to but he knew it would make it harder to respect your wishes of keeping this a one-nighter.

Trying not to let the disappointment show on your face, you take his hands and let him help you down. Once you were back on the ground you pulled your dress back over your thighs and wobbled over to the passenger seat. Not long after, Jimin hopped into the driver's side and tossed the blanket to the back seat.

“I tried to see if your underwear were on the ground but its too dark so it looks like you'll have to go commando for a little while. Sorry.”

You rolled your eyes and chuckled at his words. “You owe me underwear Park Jimin” you said playfully. With that he laughed and had you put in your address so he could take you home.

==========================

The ride was quiet but comfortable, your wishes for this to be a one night thing remained so when you arrived at your house it was time to say goodbye.

“Thankyou for tonight” you told him while opening the door and stepping out of his car “Ill see you around Park Jimin”

“Goodnight Y/N”

And with that you grabbed your shoes off the car's floor and walked to the door of your apartment. Jimin waited in his spot until you were safely inside before he left.

=============================

The next morning –or more like afternoon– you woke up in your bed still wearing the dress from the club. Your phone buzzed on the nightstand beside you. It was text from your group chat with Mina and Soyeon:

MINA: Y/N we saw you with that guy last night you'd better tell us EVERYTHING

YOU: There's nothing to tell we sat and had a drink that's all.

You couldn't tell them what really happened because you knew they would never let it go.

SOYEON: LIAR! we watched you leave with him

You closed your phone. The last thing you wanted to do right now was talk about Jimin. Truthfully you regret not giving him your number last night because now that you think about it he's everything you want in a man.

============================

A few hours later after you showered and were now just relaxing there was a knock at your door. You weren't expecting anyone and Mina and Soyeon would've just let themselves in because they had keys in case of emergency, but used them all the time anyway.

You got up and made your way to the door. A little bag with a piece of paper sticking out was sitting on the step. You grabbed the bag and looked around outside but there was no one.

After going back inside you opened the bag, in it was a 4 pack of underwear and a note.

I felt bad for loosing your underwear I know these aren't the same but its something (:

I know you were clear about last night but just incase you change your mind *51######## is my number

-Park Jimin

You had never been more happy to lose a pair of underwear. Even though it hadn't been long you already missed Jimin Like Crazy and you were definitely going to call him.

===============

This was my first time writing detailed (kinda) smut so I think it turned out pretty okay👍🏽

I have an idea for a part two if anyone would be interested.

Please let me know what you think!! <3

#jimin #jiminbts #jimin smut #jimin x reader #park jimim #bts x reader #bts #bangtan boys #face jimin #like crazy #bts namjoon #rm bts #rm #namjoon

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